#honestly...... some of these i prefer other songs by the artists more but it's what happens when you just hit play on the artist profile ig

[celshii]

@foxpunk tagged me to my spotify on repeat playlist on shuffle and post the first 10 songs! putting some of my music taste on display for all of you... let me know what you think hehehe

GANMA | Lexie Liu

Girl Stop | Huckleberryfinn

某某某某 | 你的大表哥曲甲 + 等一下就回家

小鎮裡的花 - 民樂版 | Hua Chen Yu

Scared | KimYeji

I Need Somebody | DAY6

玫瑰少年 | Mayday

Killer | KEY

500 天 | Sophie Chen

Lunar Phase | Lucia

tagging: @apolocelot @oceans-bluem @scamguy @leejihye @demonlikejudgeoffireffire @1864th 😳 🫶have fun! + anyone else can join in too :)

[strongbabe2907]

Here’s a little review of Zepp Haneda - Dir en grey Who is this hell for tour 2024

In the morning i took a wrong train and almost ended in Yokohama, lmao. In the end i was there around 10:40 and we got the merch tickets.

After that we met up with a few people and had some food. The cafe/bar we went too was blasting Dir all day and played their pvs inside too, it was surreal but very cute.

Visnu brought the art books and it was so cool to see them irl before she put them in the gift box🥰 everyone worked so hard!! Go check out #SilverCoinProject if you haven’t! I’m not an artist i send in some pictures hehe. There’s also a picture in there of my gifts.. maybe i’ll post them later on social media now i have given them.

So we walked around a bit and went to the torii my friend recommended, but they were doing construction work right around it so it was a bit noisy.

When it was time for merch we found out todays sticker was Kaoru!! I hoped a shiny but unfortunately just normal ones. Still cute.

I bought more merch for friends and some standees, did some trading with other japanese fans and some gift exchange 🥰 honestly everyone has been so nice and sweet.

We god dinner before the show and i started to get nervous again.. we split up waiting because we had different numbers and i was very focused on the counting haha.

I had 235 for vip which got me… 6th row maybe? Second barrier in zepp. Which was.. i had hoped for a bit closer but it is what it is.

Again i was between Kaoru and Kyo and looked at them most. Shinya wore his white outfit, Die also wore a white outfit. I think Toshiya was all black? He wore the shorts with something on top and dramatic separate sleeves.

Kaoru looked amazing! He was in all black. Black dress shirt with big collar. Wearing a small, wide black tie. His waistcoat thing and trousers/shorts were the same texture/print. The waistcoat was much more wide/baggy and shorter in the front and longer in the back. I think it had 2 rows of 3 buttons on it. The shorts were just passed his knees and veryy wide with big pockets on the sides. He wore black leggings with them again. Black dr martens and i think socks?

His hair was pulled back in a little ponytail and he had two strands loose in the front. One behind his ear and one just loose. He had the usual make up, little fangs, eyeliner and dark shading especially around his head. He was the only one that didn’t change for the encore.

Kyo wore the same simple outfit. I still couldn’t make out the tat very well, but thought i could discern some points to it.. Visnu later mentioned she thinks it’s either like a little star or a cross?

He wore low black doc martens this time.

His voice was just 💯from the start. They seemed more energetic/relaxed than the first show (which was still really good btw). He did some dancing (god he’s so tiny..) and moved around and took his earpieces out to listen to the crowd sing/shout. Closer to the end he pointed at two people, one right ahead of me. I think one of them had made a tattoo like him and he was smiling? Cute.

Also HELLOOO obscure was so awesome. It was the more recent version which i personally prefer. It was so cool!! And i mentioned this on twitter already but Kaoru didnt do much wahwah but he did grunt along with tsumi no kisei and was doing tough guy act to the crowd and singing along with a song (sorry cant remember which) for a long but, it was really cute. They switched sides once i think. My friends said there was almost a twin towers collision but i didnt see.

After the last song (Eddie), Kyo did a big smile and said ‘bye bye’ and he was off.

Shinya’s drumstick landed right next to my foot but i was busy looking at Kaoru😭😂🙈(he was also throwing stuff). Then girl next to me notices a tiny but before me and bend down to grab it, but it was fine i mosty found it funny i missed it cos i was going 👁️ at Kao.

Everyone but Kyo also threw a tour towel.. maybe shinya didnt? Im not sure. Toshiya was smiling and put his face in it before tossing it in the crowd lol. Kaoru also threw it near the front and Die tied a knot in it again and pitched it to the back of the venue lol.

So good live! Girls around me were lively but i was standing at a bit of a dead area in the crowd?? I liked both citta and zepp even though the vibes were different. (Citta was def more intense)

After the show we got the vip bags! They’re very cute. And now i try and recover a little before heading to Kyoto.

[slimyalienfreak]

Hey! Would you mind if I requested headcanons for fnf Pico x reader who's a punk rocker/metal head? Thanks!

Pico With A Punk Rocker/Metalhead Reader

Hey there! Thanks for the ask!

First time writing for this ginger fucker. Absolutely love this man. Hope you enjoy reading this. ~Blaze/Dawn

Pronouns: Not Mentioned

Warning: ⚠️Mentions Of Shooting/Murder + Smoking⚠️

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: Pico

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by vertiiyy on Twitter + Banner by zeminkat (Edited By Me) on Pinterest

———————————

- I like to think that Pico is kind of into punk rock music/metalhead music but not by a lot . Obviously he isn’t going to judge someone who does listen to them, he isn't a judgmental person. I just think he prefers more rapper style music than anything else but he has listened to at least a few songs of the genre. That being said, he actually thinks you're really badass. Just everything is badass about you. He thinks your way cooler than him in certain ways but he doesn’t really express it because he’s just not that expressive with his emotions.

- He’s honestly really interested in you. Even if he isn’t that much of a metal head or punk rocker himself he’s interested in your opinions about it. He’d be more than willing to just listen to what you like by slyly asking you questions that will lead into the topic, finding ways to subtly hint about it and just hear you just talk your heart out about your favourite artist. Honestly it does put a smile on his face when seeing you rant about it. Even things you don’t like about it he doesn’t mind.

- In terms of your looks with your style is punk rock or metal head he also thinks it’s pretty cool. Though it isn’t his style he thinks you pull it off really well. I mean he really can’t judge since his outfit is kind of basic but regardless he definitely compliments you on yours in his own way but it’s in a way that you can tell that he actually does mean it and isn’t being sarcastic or anything.

- If he ever hears that someone is making fun of you due to your style you can beat he’ll deal with it. He’ll most likely shoot them on sight not even giving a chance to explain or him confronting them. He doesn’t even think about it nor does he care even if he does think about it. If they talk shit about you, boom! A bullet to the head. He just ignores the surprised looks from everyone else if he did it around other people. But if he does do it in front of you he apologizes for it.

- I don’t know why but I like to imagine just the two of you just having a smoke session while zoning out listening to the music the both of you like. I think it’s actually canon that he smokes weed/marijuana so sometimes he just calls you and asks if he can come over to yours then just brings some weed and takes you to smoke. You two don’t even have a conversation. Sometimes you two are so zooted that you forget to talk. I mean some words are uttered here and there but except for that the only noise that can be heard is the music.

- If there was a concert including a band you liked he'd probably find a way to get you a place to go there. It doesn’t really matter if he’s dirt poor even if he has to steal it from someone he will. He just wants to put a smile on your face. If you offer for him to join he’ll act like he doesn’t have much of a choice and agree but honestly he kind of wants to use this as an excuse to hang out with you. Even if it’s something you like and he isn’t that much of a fan of it.

- Adding on to the previous point, if he finds something like an album or merchandise of a said band you like and he knows you don’t have it he’ll get it for you. Again it doesn’t matter if he’s dirt poor and has to steal it. If you want it he’ll get it. Maybe he’ll listen to the album with you or if you suggest it maybe find matching merchandise the two of you can wear that he only wears when hanging out with you or when the two of you are going to a concert. He is kind of bothered if someone teases him about it but if it’s for you he’ll put up with it.

- Overall, he’s actually really supportive of you even if he doesn’t directly show it. He will find his own way to show that he cares about you.

———————————

[everything--random]

Look guys I understand we're all used to calling Darkiplier an emo vampire but I don't honestly see that at all... I personally have started to call him a goth. Why you ask? Well I don't think he'd be listening to My Chemical Romance and all the other stuff in his off time. Many fanfic writers have made the 1920s the decade that Who killed Markiplier happens so I personally think Dark would either prefer absolute silence or music from around that time. Now what does this have to do with Dark being goth? Well we all know Dark is a depressed motherfucker and goth music most of the time is really chill and mellow music and most goth songs are about being sad. I know you're only goth if you listen to the music but style wise Dark also fits into the goth style category because goths also wear eye liner and are unbelievably pale and wear black and white like there in a back and white film so it just seems to fit him more. I'm sure Dark wouldn't mind listening to music like the Lumineers or maybe Fiona Apple because these artists aren't really known for being loud and focuses mainly on the words.

Emo makeup and the style itself seems very obnoxious (yes I know goth makeup can be very obnoxious sometimes too) and has a lot more color to it besides just black and white. I think Anti would be the emo one here, I mean I doubt he'd be listening to Boys Don't Cry by The Cure. I see Anti being the one to listen to My Chemical Romance and so on. Hell I'm sure he'd be blasting Metallica or some other metal band. He himself is quite obnoxious so emo fits him pretty well in my opinion.

Just wanted to get that brain worm out of my head. I'm hoping I didn't offend anyone in either of the communities I've talked about in this post. I've made playlists for Dark and Anti on YouTube music but they are unlisted so if any of you would like to see those I can make it public if you all really want. Tell me what you think about Dark being goth and Anti being emo if you really want and ya... Bye!

[rivetgoth]

hi do you have any music recs for somebody who's trapped in the industrial rock/metal (kmfdm, nin, etc) cycle and wants to explore more lesser known and weird industrial artists?

Yesssss of course! I’ll try to list some artists I think would directly interest you based on your liking industrial rock. Hopefully this isn’t too much, for each band I’ll link a song from an album I’d recommend starting with :) I’m also not sure how much you know BEYOND the two bands you listed so if these are really obvious and you already know them I’m sorry 😭🙏

My immediate biased answer right now is Foetus because I’ve been obsessed recently. If you like the rock elements of industrial rock I genuinely think Foetus is perfectly accessible but he’s also so deranged and theatrical. Raymond Watts of KMFDM would collaborate with him and honestly once you get into Foetus you realize how much of Raymond’s early stuff is just directly taking inspo lol. Check out the album Nail.

I don’t know from the list you gave if you listen to Skinny Puppy or not, if you don’t you definitely should though. Incredibly important to the formation of what would become industrial rock and also my favorite band of all time. Trent even directly sampled the Skuppy song “Dig It” for “Down In It.” I’d specifically recommend checking out The Process (the most industrial rock of their discography) or Rabies (the most metal—they collaborated with Al Jourgensen of Ministry for it!) to start in your case.

The cool thing with industrial is so many of the older bands are all connected once you go back a bit, so if you find yourself liking a certain artist you can start exploring who they’ve worked with and a whole world of music opens up to you. Two early Skinny Puppy collaborators are The Legendary Pink Dots and Severed Heads. Both of those are also all time favorites and they can really shift your sense of what industrial music is and means because they sound very different from what industrial would become over time. Both formed between 1979-1980. Two favorites from them (off albums that I think are the best starting points!):

Going back a bit further, for the early pioneers I think you’d enjoy Einstürzende Neubauten and Cabaret Voltaire. Both of them were involved from the very beginning of the development of the genre and everything that came after them is in part thanks to them (as well as the other pioneers, but I’m trying not to overwhelm and I think these guys are really good starting points). You can really hear their influence if you trace the progression of the genre from them to the bands they worked with. Start with Neubauten’s Haus Der Lüge since that’s their most well known, & I’d say Cabaret Voltaire’s Code is a good balance between their very experimental early stuff and their most synthpop later stuff.

Of course I do think it’s worth checking out Throbbing Gristle if you haven’t. They’re the OG OGs that actually named the genre and everything. They are significantly less accessible and might not as quickly be your thing but imo they are worth knowing about so you can really hear where it all comes from. Maybe this is just my own preference but I feel like going back through the history and watching the progression and evolution of all of this was a huge part of what made me fully fall in love with the industrial genre and all of its weirdness. It made it feel like such a full and lively subculture of so many different people taking direct inspiration from each other over the years. Coil and SPK as well.

(SPK has very little on Spotify so a Bandcamp link it’ll be, and I’d recommend starting with Coil’s Horse Rotorvator which is not on Spotify but IS on YouTube, though one of the songs IS on Spotify…. lol)

What I basically gave you is a very very quick descent from 90s industrial rock to the beginning of the genre, obviously give or take a couple hundred bands lmao. I guess to me the best thing to do when you’re looking into these genres is to get deeper into the history of ‘em. There’s nothing wrong with preferring bands like NIN or KMFDM to bands like SPK and Throbbing Gristle, but I think it can really deepen your relationship to the former to at least know about the latter and what they sounded like and were doing.

I’m out of song links I’m allowed for a single post but I’ll also share a handful of other bands you can check out:

Nocturnal Emissions (start with Viral Shedding)

Fad Gadget (start with Fireside Favorites; Tovey was influential for both industrial and goth!)

Babyland (I’ve just recently been listening to them more, check out You Suck Crap)

Lead Into Gold (the solo project of Ministry’s Paul Barker, extremely good both old and new material, check out The Sun Behind the Sun)

If you haven’t yet just in general check out Wax Trax! Records because NIN and KMFDM were directly working with all those guys and that label put out some of the greatest music of all time. Ministry I assume you know if you like industrial metal but you gotta listen through Ministry’s discography starting from Twitch to Filth Pig, Revolting Cocks’ first two albums, My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult, Front 242, Nitzer Ebb, Die Warzau, they’re not actually Wax Trax! but Electric Hellfire Club… etc. That’s obviously a lot of names and might be a bit more overwhelming but just starting with one and going thru who each band member has worked with will open up a MASSIVE world of music.

Umm or disregard all that and if you truly want weird music just listen to Caroliner.

^picture of their stageshow

[rocksibblingsau]

Actually, honest question on Chaz cause being the only Smooth Jazz troll we ever see, has some semi lonely implications. And the actual idea of Chaz, whose people may be very very very nomadic and feeling very out of place in spaces, and t!Branch also feeling out of place and just....genuinely bonding over vibing together, talking bout dangerous stuff, ways to keep safe....like I could honestly see them just....intimate together, not even hot and nasty, just lowkey vibing while really physically close. Like knowing the other gets them, removes some kind of physical boundary and they just....can't stop touching each other, like holding hands, or arms, or laying on the other, or messing with their hair. Just super intimate stuff, but also like....completely platonic? and then Synth being their energetic enabler and respecter of boundaries makes his way in and suddenly its either Synth and Branch, Branch and Chaz, Synth and Chaz or if all of em are in the same place, Synth Branch Chaz and everyone is busy trying to figure out...the everything, but its literally what you see is what you get. Just pure powerful Best Friends who looked at Boundaries and Respectfully stepped all the way over for each other in the best way. All getting used to touch and companionship in a different way. Branch getting more comfortable in his skin with people who don't judge him nor blame him, and being comfy expressing his want for touch and physical affection. Chaz also enjoying the physical affection with the actual emotional weight and understanding that these touches mean something more than just the physical, emotional grounding weight he craves. Synth enjoying the calmest slowest vibes and how its ok to slow down, and learning to enjoy a longer drawn out sensation than a constant build towards a drop, and this one doesn't really have to end, so he can really slow down and enjoy it. Its good for them, and they don't really give it too much attention past what it requires. Its the best kind of Mindless Affection, cause its fully conscious, fully consensual and fully enjoyed as it is.

This is actually so sweet???

According to Chaz in the episode 'Smooth Operator', Chaz is the only Smooth Jazz Troll. While he might have been lying for sympathy, I'd fully believe that he is a sub-genre that broke off from Jazz itself, which may be somewhere in the world of Trolls.

I think Chaz being the only Smooth Jazz Troll would explain why in the "noncanon" media like Trollstopia and Remix Rescue he's obsessed with turning other Trolls into Smooth Jazz Trolls, because there are NO other members of his genre. That's gotta be incredibly lonely and I think Techno Branch would sort of understand how it feels to be the odd one out as he was a grey troll amongst Pop trolls and he's a Pop troll amongst Techno trolls.

While in Remix Rescue, Chaz not wanting his music remixed is shown to be because he doesn't care for any other genre, I could see Chaz being protective of his genre because his songs are the ONLY songs of it. Not only that, but any art student might know the feeling of making a piece they really like, only for their art teacher to draw on it and 'fix' it. Chaz would prefer his songs stay unremixed, and I think Branch would respect that. He'd ask Chaz how he'd like for people to incorporate Smooth Jazz into their genres and Chaz would likely say if they wrote their own take on Smooth Jazz then that would likely be okay. He's extra protective because his genre is quite literally in its infancy. It doesn't have hundreds of years worth of artists and songs for people to be drawing this inspiration from or remixing since it's old and popular, it's just him. One guy.

Synth initially wanted to remix his music, but when he hears Chaz's reasoning he can't fault him for being protective of his hard work. I think Synth would ask if he'd ever want to make a song with the intention of it being sampled, or letting him record bits to use. Chaz would probably need to think it over but until then he's open to coaching Synth on the structures of his genre.

All of this to say...

Techno Branch could fix him.

[dustbunnylair]

Shubble/Shelby's Situation: People Defending The Abuser and Shaming The Victim (!TW: Mentions of abuse/abusive relationship!)

7 months ago, on February 21st, 2024, a Twitch streamer with around 468K followers spoke out about being abused by another Twitch streamer and artist, who is now her ex on a stream titled, “Talking About Something More Serious”. The Twitch streamer who spoke out goes by Shubble or Shelby, she described the at the time unnamed Twitch streamer as (mainly) British, popular, and also in the music industry, fans quickly connected the dots to the popular Twitch streamer and lead singer in the band, Lovejoy, Wilbur Soot. 

I won’t go into full detail about what Shubble said, as I would prefer for people to listen to her say it, rather than someone else. But, the main things were that Wilbur did not follow a safe word that they set in place, and would bite her to the point of her screaming out in pain. He was also slobbish and dirty in his living situation. Unfortunately, Shubble has not provided any proof of bruises, markings, etc. but that doesn’t mean she’s lying, not every abuse victim documents their injuries, and honestly in my opinion, maybe she’s uncomfortable with sharing those injuries, those injuries are really none of our business to see.

A few days later, Wilbur Soot, made a response, which if you would like to read it you can find it here, I’ll sum it up to what I had processed within the response:

First off, he says it’s a response rather than an apology. Second, he didn’t even mention Shubble’s name, he only referred to her as “ex-girlfriend” or “this person” he never said her name. I want that to be emphasized because that’s quite common in abusers, they literally will not say their victim’s name(s) as a form of dissociation or just not taking accountability.

Many people including famous people such as Ranboo, Tommyinnit, Sneegsnag, Lil Tay, Billzo, Aimsey, Dream even, to fully call out Wilbur, as they should. Let’s also emphasize how absolutely batshit insane it is that Lil Tay and Billzo said shit about him, Lil Tay does not know this man and Billzo is literally never active on social media, no hate to them though obviously, shoutout to them for calling him out. Dream responding to Wilbur is so diabolical, you know an apology/response sucked ass when DREAM of all people responds to you and REWRITES the response. 

I have found many people on social media, more specifically TikTok and Pinterest, borderline defending Wilbur Soot. From getting mad at Shubble for telling her viewers to stream her stream instead of Wilbur's newest song, which yeah is a bit immature coming from a 30 y/o woman, but remember this is literally her abuser and she’s probably just joking around and coping. Not to mention the person who “called out” Shubble for not being able to “move on” can’t move on from Shubble nor Wilbur themselves.

Hypocrite alert���Honestly, Wilbur defenders are either stuck in 2019-2021 or are just insanely parasocial. Wilbur does not know you, you do not know him, he is a content creator and singer. I *was* a Wilbur fan before “Your New Boyfriend” came out, and look, I’ve moved on from him, 5 years of my life went to waste but at least I’m not supporting an abuser. It’s so funny seeing Wilbur dick riders getting mad at people for calling him niblur soot or saying he has rabies and needs a muzzle. 

It’s always “always believe the victim” until the abuser is someone you like or is conventionally attractive. I’ve seen multiple people ask why Shubble hasn’t sued Wilbur but has sued a car company. It’s so obvious that these people do not know shit about abusive relationships. Almost like if you were to take it to court and sue him, it wouldn’t change anything for Shubble other than some money or some shit, it doesn’t change the fact that she has trauma from the abuse, and it certainly isn’t gonna make him take accountability. Plus abuse in women or literally any gender, is invalidated most of the time.

People say that Wilbur is getting therapy just from his word. But me and other people are clearly seeing he isn’t showing change whatsoever, in fact, he literally looks like he’s on drugs, like coke. I remember someone made a TikTok talking about how skinny Wilbur looks and saying he’s probably starving himself. He’s 6’5 and has always been fucking lanky, and starving yourself isn’t the only thing that makes you lose weight, it’s also drugs!

I’m honestly just so sick and tired of seeing people say “Shubble admitted to lying” and then when you ask for proof of that they don’t respond, because she’s never admitted to that. Even other creators, not just Shubble, have come out and said Wilbur’s abusive behavior, like Tommyinnit. I mean, James Marriott hasn’t spoken out about this, and he doesn’t have to, that’s not something that’s required from him, but in one of James Marriott’s videos from 3 years ago, he and Wilbur did like this drunk video and it was called “If We Laugh, The Video Ends…(ft. Wilbur Soot)”, but throughout the video Wilbur just sometimes gets violent, and it doesn’t seem like a bit because most of the time James reacts genuinely concerned.

And before anyone uses the “Oh but he was drunk” excuse, I don’t want to hear it, the more drunk you are, the more of the real you comes out, he was drunk as fuck and his real self was coming out. 

Yeah, honestly that’s all I have to say about this topic for right now. Don’t go harass Wilbur or any Wilbur supporters, just try to educate them or block them, both are valid. If I have more to add I’ll make a follow-up post. But yeah, always believe the victim, don’t defend abusers. Keep yourself safe.

[putschki1969]

Into the World - Kaji Fes. 2023 Day 2

Some more in-depth Kalafina thoughts inspired by several discussions in the reply section of my latest live report about Kaji Fes. 2023 Day 2. "Into the World" was probably the Kalafina cover that left the most lasting impression on me. From what the girls have shared in various interviews, this song represents a beautiful end to an eventful stage of life and a slow transition into uncharted territory. At the time it was written, Kalafina's disbandment and the subsequent start of their solo careers were probably on no one's radar but ironically, it couldn't have been a more perfect match for the whole situation. The final few performances of the song (when everyone involved must have already been aware of what was about to happen) have a particularly strong impact on me and the same can be said about the covers they have done as solo artists/FJ. This is easily my favourite cover because the strong extra vocals add so much texture to the song. It's one of those Kalafina tracks where I mostly prefer the studio version because the girls tend to sound a bit shaky/shouty during live performances so this was overall a bit more polished I think. The harmonies are really good here. Also, I loved seeing Keiko get so emotional towards the end (even though it did result in her getting a teeny, tiny bit shouty again :P)

"Magia" was my second-favourite Kala-cover. It worked wonderfully to put the focus on Hikaru and highlight her prowess as a singer which is unfortunately something that none of the other Kalafina songs of the evening managed to do. I wish they had chosen songs with a stronger emphasis on Hikaru's voice like "ARIA", "One Light", "Mata Kaze ga...", "in every nothing", etc... Also, I did have some issues with Joelle sounding a bit too overpowering during certain parts. There are Kalafina songs where she manages to blend in better but here, her vocals just stand out too much, especially when trying to harmonise with Keiko.

"storia" has never done Hikaru any favours I'm afraid and this performance is no exception. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE "storia" but that's mostly because I am obsessed with the WaKei chorus. Joelle does a good enough job here but as I have mentioned in my report, I am way too hung up on Wakana to ever be able to appreciate another singer stepping in for her during parts that I love.

I honestly don't remember much about "KNGNN" so I guess I will have to wait for the BD release. It's yet another song that doesn't exactly flatter Hikaru though so that's a shame.

As I have never felt a strong connection to "TTB", the performance doesn't really do anything for me.

On a random and more or less unrelated side note, I LOVED this moment of Keiko showing a tiny bit of vulnerability here at the very end of the concert. It's rare to see her in tears on stage.

And let's not forget that precious HiKei moment right after this. Them holding hands. Keiko leaning on Hikaru's shoulder. Keiko smiling brightly but clearly relieved that it's over - "owatta".

[thedevilinmybrain]

my babygate thoughts after watching AOTV

I want to start off by saying that these are just my opinions and I am in no way, shape, or form indicating that I am apologizing or justifying my believed closeting of a queer individual. Nor am I making apologies for someone that I do not know nor will ever know. That being said, I do feel that I am allowed to draw my own personal conclusions given the evidence presented before us and make my own critical decision based on the content.

I do not believe Freddie is Louis' son. I honestly will never believe that he is biologically Louis' son.

That being said, I do think that AOTV did an interesting job of framing the Louis/Freddie relationship in the  midst of talking about his family and the role he is so often put in. For instance, I believe that AOTV is more of a film of self discovery and reconciliation of the self than anything else. It's framed about one man's struggle to find where he belongs and if he even deserves it. So in some ways, it's an introspective film about Louis' outlook on himself as an artist, as a brother, as a friend, and as an individual.

Given the way that Louis and his sisters talk about him, Louis has always been in the role of 'protector' and 'big brother'. Even in the band, there was a sense that Louis was the oldest and that he was 'the boss' because of his skill in voicing and sticking up for the rest of the boys. We have seen it time and time again from the way he's protective of his siblings to the way he was always so involved in the `1D days. This is a man who prides himself on taking care of others and making the best of situations - a fact that I will bring up later.

When it comes to babygate and the deals and trauma that surround that, I do believe that Louis had limited say in the matter. Much like the example in the film of the producer that gave Louis hope but ultimately did his own decision on the song, Louis' life in One Direction didn't come without a slew of managers and music company people who had a say in it and made decisions. I do not think at the beginning that Louis was allowed to give much imput or control over the happenings behind the scene. As 1D went on break and Louis was able to navigate his own career with a little more freedom, I do think that input changed but considering how much of his life is hidden behind contracts and NDAs, I don't think the truth will ever be told in its entirety. And honestly, I am okay with that because at the end of the day, it's Louis' life and I am just an observer.

So, when it comes to Freddie now, I am of the opinion that Louis is more of an 'uncle' or 'family friend' to him. Given the limited amount of time we actually know they spend together, probably equal to how much Louis has seen Doris and Ernie, one can speculate that Louis isn't a constant in Freddie's life. More of a randomly visiting family memmber than a core fixture. We never hear Freddie call him Dad. We see Freddie multiple times look at the camera during the film and on other occasions such as the holidays where it feels like he's being prompted to interact with the family. It's the same feeling of seeing an uncle at Christmas that you haven't seen in ages. You know them but you're not 100% comfortable.

So, why even bother? Why does Louis make any effort at all?

I think it comes down to him being in the role of protective older brother. If there is nothing he can do about babygate, if there is nothing he can change about the narrative now, the very least he can do is make positive memories with an innocent child. I mean, what would fandom prefer? Every time they're stunted together that Louis just ignores Freddie like he's Eleanor? Found somewhere in the background looking miserable?

It's making the best out of the worst situation. Because one day, someone is going to explain all of this to Freddie. And yes, I do believe it's unfair and it's cruel to the child, but we also don't know what he's being told as his own narrative. Maybe he knows Louis as his 'Uncle Lou' or 'The UK family'. We just don't know. But what we do know is that when Louis is with him, he takes on the role of big brother. He plays with him, he gives him good memories, he provides experiences just like he did/does for his younger siblings. It's shown in the film with the way he kisses the baby twins. It's Louis being a stand in 'father figure' or 'big brother'.

I'm not saying it's right or that it's the way it should be. Honestly, I don't think closeting should be a thing at all. It's grossly unfair to everyone involved. But the Louis I know, the man we've all loved from the very beginning, would never allow himself to be cruel or cold to someone innocent. And I think he's doing the best that he can given the circumstances.

And I hope one day when Freddie finds out the truth, at the very least he can look back and be like 'Yes, this was unfair and unjust and completely inappropriate. But all I know of this man is the kindness and the fun and the good times. He didn't cause me more pain.'

[honoviadakai]

Diaboys at a Carne Asada with Hispanic S/O/Reader: Mukami edition

Ruki:

The moment you tell him your family invited them to the family Carne Asada, he’s already mentally recalling any and all books he might have in his library about Hispanic culture

The ever well read eldest Mukami son will NOT attend any sort of event without proper preparations sooo…I’d give yourself a week in advance…minimum

He’s also gonna learn the language as best he can

He’s not gonna be 100% fluent but he’s gonna sound like he is and that’s what’s important to him

Once you both arrive he’s met with generally well reception

At least from the women in your family

He’s handsome, well educated and quite the gentleman from their perspective! So don’t be surprised if they start gushing and even asking when you two plan to tie the knot

Now the men in your family…that’s a different story all together…

Depending on how they are, at best they’re indifferent about him and at worst they wanna mess with the “smart boy”

For the love of all that is pure and holy in this world, keep an eye on him so he doesn’t verbally tear someone a new one! 🙏

He’s also not scoring a lot of points with the kids in your family.

He might indulge them in a board game but if they wanna play a physical game like soccer, he’s probably not gonna do it so your cousins think he’s a little lame

He won’t drink beer, it smells too cheap and gross for him

Flat out will not partake in most of the stuff the men do

For example

If they start talking about cars, at best he’s gonna start expositing the history of how cars came to be

They wanna talk about farming? He’s gonna teach them the entirety of this history of agriculture from EVERY culture

Yeeeah…he’s not popular with the guy and some of the kids…

BUT! As stated earlier, he’s a hit with the women in your family!

He’ll help with any cooking and cleaning that anyone needs help with

Might show off and make a few dishes of his own that will be an instant hit with everyone

The dotting and fawning the other women are having towards him might be annoying to a good chunk of your family though

This guy unfortunately radiates too much rich white boy privilege to be truly accepted

Honestly bringing him is so dividing amongst your family that you’re better off bringing him every other invite

Kou:

Hooboi

This one’s gonna be fun 😈

This idea comes courtesy from @magnificentkidclamclod and I couldn’t agree more with her

The second you get the invite, sit Kou down and teach him about Selena (and really any Hispanic artists you can think of)

By the time the day ends, he’s a Selena Stan, memorizing her songs and dances and even thinking of writing a song of his own to honor her

If you show him a document about her life, keep an eye on him cuz the moment he finds out she was murdered and said murderer is alive, he’s gonna try to find her and start shit

As much as we’d all want him to…don’t, we don’t need a bloodbath on our hands here

Now to the party itself

If any family members of your family like J-pop…well I hope you liked hearing while it lasted, cuz the second he walks in, expect loud screams/squeals

He might get swarmed so help him by clearing a path and making it clear that he’s just here to enjoy the event and that he’s taken

He’s not very helpful in the kitchen or anything but your family thinks it’s kinda funny how useless this pop star is in the kitchen so they won’t complain

They’re also gonna tease his low spice tolerance but you and the younger kids will console him

He’s a hit with the kids since he’ll play with them and even perform silly little songs and dances for them

He doesn’t like beer, he prefers sweet, fruity cocktails

He might get teased for them but he’ll probably take the opportunity to drink some humans under the table as petty revenge

He’s gonna score some huge respect points with the men in your family

Now when it comes to the women, expect him to be an official member of the Chisme circle by the end of the night

He. LOVES. It.

It’s not only a good way to learn more about you and your family but it gives him a good space to vent with a genuine support group

This is a good thing for him but it’s kind of a weird thing for you

The reason is because he’s gonna know things about your family before YOU

Someone got a promotion? He knew hours ago

Someone went through a nasty break up? He sent them a gift basket days ago

Someone died? He had the funeral planned months in advance

It’s more than a little off putting…but you don’t have the heart to take that from him 😔

Now he’s canonical a pop idol, so there is no doubt in anyone’s minds that he’s gonna SLAY on the dance floor

But he’s surprisingly very good at singing along to songs, especially Selena songs

Don’t be fooled though, he doesn’t really understand the language, he’s just listened to the songs enough times to know the lyrics word for word 🤣

He’s not gonna learn the language fast but given enough time he’ll learn, eventually

He’s definitely gonna be someone your family hopes you bring at EVERY event

Yuma:

Yuma “Big Bear” Mukami…

Oh he’s gonna be welcomed with open arms

Now before he goes he genuinely might not go because it’s “too much of a hassle, I have gardening to do ya know!”

Tell him there’s free food, alcohol and if the even is gonna be at a ranch, tell him there’s animals and crops

He’s gonna change his tune real quick

Once he goes, he’s gonna have so much fun!

The moment he arrives…everyone is in awe at how big this dude is…it’s gonna boost his already huge ego

Expect him to flex and bost about his monstrous size, he’ll even put kids on his shoulders and spin them around for fun

Your family is gonna LOVE this rowdy man

Big dude in this case means big alcohol tolerance, he’s gonna drink your dad, uncles, grandfather and your neighbors under the table. They might end up adopting him by the time he wins 😆

He’s also very helpful in the kitchen and with cleaning.

He understands the importance of helping out to do hard work so if he sees your mom or someone else needs help, he’s getting off his ass to help

ALL the kids love him and want him to play with them

This dude is gonna become a human(vampiric) jungle gym so don’t get upset if your little cousin and siblings don’t wanna share him because he’s the perfect playmate for them

He’s not as good a dancer as Kou but you bet your bottom dollar he can throw down a good hoedown at least

His dancing style is powerful, aggressive and oddly sexy

Don’t be suprised if some of the women swoon over him

He’ll also help out with any crops and livestock

Hell, he’s even gonna share/swap farming/gardening advice

You might not see him again for a while once he starts talking about this tbh sooo…go get some food ^^;

Speaking of food, this guy eats like it’s the last meal he’s ever gonna eat

He’s also got a high spice tolerance that’s only rivaled by Azusa so the family will be impressed

They won’t be impressed with his Spanish skills but he’s stubborn and absolutely wants to learn for your sake and boy howdy does your family respect the effort

Honestly by the end of the night, it kinda feels like your family loves Yuma more than you 😂

Honestly they’re more excited for you two to get married that you two are soooo hop to it!

Azusa:

Oh Azusa…

Sweet little Azusa…

This one’s…gonna be tricky…

On one hand, you know how oh so sweet this man is and you know that he’d never intentionally hurt your family

On the other hand…it’s Azusa…

….

Listen, you gotta lay down the law with this guy

He’s a sweetheart that loves you with his whole undead heart but you NEED to let him know that he’s not allowed to play with knives or hurt himself in anyway on purpose

Even with a warning and some prep time, your family might not be super positively receptive to him

He’s tiny, looks frail(they bandages don’t help) and he speaks a tad slowly

Honestly your family might initially think he’s terminally ill or something

First thing they’re gonna do is sit him somewhere warm and give him a BIG plate of food

Ofc he’ll accept it gratefully, he’s gonna ask for hot sauce though

You told him about your tia’s extra spicy salsa and he really wants to try it

At first your family advises him not to, but he insists that he can

So they reluctantly give him some…

And he loves it! Hell he’s not even sweating!

That immediately impresses everyone and makes them less tense so they’re more comfortable with him being your lover

He’s gonna scare your little cousins though

Not because he’s being mean or hurting them

It’s cuz they asked him to play soccer…

The kids accidentally kicked the ball in his face and made his nose bleed, but Azusa didn’t even react much and even asked if they wanted to do that again but harder

This unnerves the kids but he’ll remember your words

He’s gonna try to be playful and act silly for them, it might not work for all of them but some of the kids will like him at least

He helps out when he can but…he’s just really accident prone…keep an eye on him when he’s washing dishes…please

He’s gonna drink with the men just to be polite, but he honestly doesn’t like beer

But if it’s to make your family happy, he’ll happily choke down the bitter beer

The men can tell but they honestly think it’s sweet that he’s enduring drinking with them just to keep everyone happy

They’ll eventually stop him and offer him some horchata or jamica instead

Azusa isn’t good at fast paced dancing, slow dancing is more his forte so get ready to be swept off your feet 😉

His Spanish skills….well they’re abysmal at best

He’s gonna eventually learn basic phrases like “Mi nombre es Azusa” or “¿Donde esta el baño?” But that’s about all he’s gonna know for a few years

Spanish is tricky for him so be patient

Over all your family does like him…but they think he’s odd…very sweet! But very odd…

Be careful when bringing him because he’s the one between the Mukami’s that might accidentally let them know he and his family are vampires

[sentienttoastah]

Not all of these are directly vocaloid related and this mostly reflects my own tastes but.

Ryōshū probably listens to the DMCV and Metal Gear Rising: Revengence songs just loud enough that others can hear it if they sit next to her. Agree on the ADO but would also add Butchers Vanity (chef), symaG, Kan Kan and MARETU.

Faust probably is into game OSTs, like the ones for Neir:Automata and the SMT series. Plus blackY, a lil bit of Team Grimoire, and Touhou. As well as general classical sometimes - I feel like she'd prefer instrumentals. Rhythm game ahh music taste when she isn't trying to focus on something (because she is good at them)

Heath would absolutely like vocaloid, but specifically a real sucker for the catchy ones like Mesmerizer and Luka Luka ☆ Night Fever. Listens to jubyphonic for EN covers. Oft falls prey to the 'bopping song/depressing lyrics' phenomenon (just like Sinclair)

Yi Sang likes peaceful sounding songs, like (gestures at Mili) and video game OSTs ,but I I see him liking upbeat ones like La Primavera and I Got It!. He listens to more songs with lyrics after canto 4.

Sinclair likes Tokyo Teddy Bear. Neru, PinoccioP, MARETU, DECO * 27, syudou and generally the most popular Vocaloid artists like a decade ago. Also likes the occasional classical and stuff like Take Me to Church, Partners in Crime and TLT's Discord remix. Listens to Nightcore when he thinks nobody else can hear it (they can). Eminem.

Gregor likes the songs that shops play bc they were popular 5-30 years ago.

Donqui is also a rhythm game fiend but esp likes the ones like Sswwiinnddlleerr or The Big Black where you aren't 100% sure throwing kitchenware down the stairs or putting an orchestra in a centrifuge wasnt at least a part of the process. Loves Fixer anthems/themes (they probably sound like indie horror game fansongs) and anime songs like A Cruel Angel's Thesis, Lifetime Girl Declaration and Lucky Star's Opening. Eurobeat.

Charon does not yet know what Eurobeat is. This is the reason the bus only hits things sometimes.

Wall of text jumpscare 🫵🐟 /pos

oh my gosh limbus headcanons in my inbox let’s go?? I’ll try responding to these erm hold on.

Ryōshū one I absolutely agree with, can’t believe I never considered Butchers Vanity and the MGR:R soundtrack. She would totally listen to loud blaring songs and metal, songs with raw emotions. But maybe also songs with deeper meanings because uh. Art or something.

Faust being a rhythm gamer is just yes.

You worded the Heathcliff vocaloid bit way better than I did. Imagining Heathcliff listening to mesmerizer or Young girl A completely oblivious, yeah. Jubyphonic as a go-to for english covers is very valid. I also think he might like Laufey for the love songs and such, a bit of mitski or joji in there too perhaps.

I’ve personally always imagined Yi Sang liking any song with some kind of deep meaning behind it(trademark) or some story because erm, typical poet behavior. But he definitely would feel intimidated by loud blaring music so he sticks to mellow, slow-paced songs. At times I imagine him liking the Hawaii Part ii album because of the lore(trademark), other times I imagine him listening to funkytown unironically.

Sinclair, he probably even shares a playlist with Heathcliff. Generally agree on this and I think he would be even more secretive about his music taste than Heathcliff. Sinclair being Sinclair. Probably also shares a playlist with Ryōshū due to them hanging out a lot. Take me to church fits really well considering his source material. Also Eminem oh my god…???

Gregor being a Dad oh god… Sounds accurate honestly. I think he would like Army Dreamers by Kate Bush though.

Don checks out. She’s probably really good at certain songs in rhythm games and absolutely terrible in others, no in between. I like to imagine she comes up with her own fixer songs, almost like a disney channel musical movie protagonist. Just randomly starts singing on the spot. Considering that one Don Quixote musical, if it existed somehow in the Project Moon universe she would love it.

Charon….

Yeah that sounds about right for Ishy. For me she listens to sea shanties very often, mostly for the nostalgia. But those really sad sea shanties like Bones in the Ocean, and other stuff by The Longest Johns or other shanty bands. There’s one I found that’s directly telling the story of Moby Dick (as well as the Moby Dick musical) I know it won’t mix very well considering the lore and timeline just like with the Don Quixote one but still.

No worries :D

I have never heard such a specific name for song. I searched it up just now and thank you anon for introducing me to nanahira lol.

But with Hong Lu mentioned I honestly think he wouldn’t know much about pop songs prior to joining Limbus Company, probably from his relatives keeping him sheltered from the outside world. He probably only knew about traditional songs or classical pieces. But being in Limbus Company now he definitely would share similar tastes to Don Quixote, or is probably really open to any kind of music because he’s never heard a lot of it. I think he’d like Bitter Choco Decoration.

Phew that was a lot. Thank you anon for the fun headcanons to read and think about!!

[ferronite]

Hiii! Time to ask more about the 7 creatures :]

It's a slightly less relevant question, I think, but I'm curious to know: What are your characters' flags (sexuality and everything else)? In fact, I like to be sure about these things, so just in case, which pronouns should I use for each little being? I like to be sure of these details,,,,

And as an extra and quick question, which of the 7 would you most like to live with in real life? And which one would you least like to live with?

you don't have to answer about the flags if you prefer. I know that not everyone thinks about this when creating a character, so it's okay if you don't have this defined.

ah! Ask jumpscare :))

Hmmm flags can get a bit complicated... sexuality and pronouns/gender remain the same across all their iterations, but the specifics of their genders can vary slightly - for example, Basil is always a he/him, but in the original iteration he was a cis guy whilst in the current one he's a trans guy. Since the "identity" of the soul remains the same but the physical form isn't always perfectly identical. (Therefore all of them have been trans and cis at some point, i guess???). But, I digress. I'll mention if there's any differences but we're still just gonna be doing initial and current lol. I... can't honestly say I think abt these things that hard tho so sorry if shit sounds weird.

Jean: nonbinary, they/them, (so remains the same across everything), bisexual (more fem leaning)

Maria: woman, she/her (nobody knows any specifics she just lets people guess. This definitely isn't because every time I think abt her she fluctuates between cis and trans what do you mean), pansexual :)

Kaylen: "guy" (<-self-described), he/they (trans in initial iteration, cis in current), he doesn't actually know what he is but he has liked at least three men in the past so....

Danny: male, he/him but also doesn't give a shit abt people using other ones, cis guy, bi/pansexual (he tends to say bi because he prefers the flag but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Sel: Agender, they/them. Demiromantic/sexual.

Basil: male, he/him, cis in initial but I hit him with the Trans Ray at some point :D. Homosexual

Liv: female, she/her, same as Basil (cis in initial, trans in current. They traded genders in the current one lmao). Demisexual lesbian :)

as for the other question... preferred? For legal reasons I'd say Kay, but personally I think Jean. They're kinda annoying to begin with, sure, but like... we're both artists we'd probably get on fine.

The one I'd least like to live with is probably Maria. Not because she's a bad person or anything, she's rly nice actually, but because she does kinda have the habit of breaking out into song randomly like she's in a musical (and also often takes over half the house when a performance is coming up which would just kinda be annoying lol.

[yuzuyoon]

I think a lot of these assumptions come from echo chambers by the way. Jimin, if anything, has gained a solo fandom, a very devoted one at that. A lot of them left Twitter because that place is insufferable some days. But his fandom has grown and they are organised as hell. Armies that didn’t support him during face are the same ones who has never wanted to support him any way, he hasn’t lost anything. You can have a double or triple bias but you will always prefer one over the other and if Jimin’s success hurt you because he outsold your fav, then you weren’t as fond of him any way. ARMY has supported Jimin music because it’s good music not because it’s Jimin’s. They could use it for bragging purposes. It stood out the most. ARMY are currently occupied cleaning out the Yoongi mess they have been consistently at it since two weeks. JM gets hit hate tweets because to most kpop fans he’s the representative of BTS, and he’s the one who introduced the band to them. All kpoppies jump on the wagon, but it’s the same circle jerk. And also once you go out, you will see “ratio” is a thing that exists in the stan world and literally nowhere else. I have two accounts - one for Jimin and one for my western and indie artists and I promise you every relevant artist gets lashings on Twitter. And Jimin is relevant. I also saw a GC being infiltrated by a bunch of kpoppies and all they did was say the most vile things about JK. The chat was outed, not a single account got suspended. The anti SUGA tweets are still there. But does any of it mean anything in real life? The answer is no.

people on twitter love to hate because it gets them attention and it's the only attention they're getting in the kpop world. these companies and idols literally do not care that you think their song is a "flop."

people hate because they can. they hate because they're hiding behind the safety of the internet where nothing can hurt them other than some words (which comes back to bite some of them when they end up getting sued)

jimin's fanbase is honestly one of the better ones i've seen throughout kpop fandom spaces. no matter what these "unproblematic" kpop fandoms say, there no such thing as a perfect fandom. there are always going to be toxic people in them. jimin's fanbase doesn't really have time to be toxic or to focus on the toxic ppl in our fandom because we're too busy organizing ourselves to do better. and honestly, it just proves that being off of twitter is better for fandoms considering jimin's following is huge compared to his twt fandom. we can be more focused on streaming and getting achievements rather than defending him pointlessly against people that are just going to hate because it gets them views and likes

[girldragongizzard]

Epilogue 5: The Artist of Being a Dragon

In early May, I guess, Chapman and Nathan got together again at the Makerspace and made me a set of bluetooth headphones I can wear.

Because Chapman is involved, they have a mix of retro-radio and classic cyberpunk styling. They have a cherry wood finish with a gorgeous laser etched esoteric circuit print on them. The metal parts have a rose gold color. And the pads are real leather. And they are weirdly durable. I am unable to scratch them.

Still, Chapman begged me not to take them into a fight.

They're pretty special, because, like my tablet they have an indefinite battery life, and they don't block much outside sound. Wearing them is like having a surround sound system arrayed out on my rooftop, with me in the middle of it. The music can end up being louder than other noises, but if it isn't, there's nothing in particular keeping me from hearing anything else.

Before dracomorphosis, I would have preferred sound blocking headphones, to manage my sensory processing disorder. But now my ears work the way my brain expects them too, and I really need to be able to hear what's going on in the rest of the city. Especially if another dragon is calling out. Especially right now, while I'm still constructing an egg in my uterus.

I kind of feel like "uterus" is the wrong word for that, as much as I like having one. Mine's more of a fucking crucible.

"Fucking" is the operative word there, you know.

Anyway, they did this because several of my humans thought that music would help calm me down and help me bide my time between suitors and other distractions. And, I honestly really appreciate it.

So, then, Kimberly gave me Chappell Roan's "The Rise of Fall of a Midwest Princess" and holy shit. Lesbian music is Like That now?

If you were to reread my trilogy while just listening to that album, I think it would make a pretty good soundtrack and give you an overall better feeling of what it's like to me. Though, I have some other music now to add to it.

Incidentally, I've been listening to that album almost nonstop on repeat, except for when I'm exploring her other music, and going down little pop culture rabbit holes. For instance, a few days ago, I heard her cover of "What's Up?!" by 4 Non Blondes, which I absolutely remember losing my shit to when I was a teenager. So, I had to revisit their music, and that particular album, "Bigger, Better, Faster, More!".

Did you know the lead singer of 4 Non Blondes was an out lesbian while she was singing for that band?

I did not.

I would have thought at least Kurt Loder on MTV would have told me, but nope! I do not remember that happening. Maybe I missed it.

It turns out that nearly every female led band I loved when I was a teen was queer in some way. And also, like, Billie Joe Armstrong of Greenday. What?!

So, anyway, I had a little week of collecting both old and new queer music, and that's my whole playlist now. I've also got Mary Lambert in there. And Karen O and Metric, though I'm not sure if either of them are queer, but they fit in the mix really damn well anyway. Oh, oh, and Halsey's song "I'm not a woman, I'm a god." And then the Nimona sountrack led me to Santigold, and she led me down the path of Black queer artists, and now I've got Jackie Shane and Janelle Monae. And I'm asking Kimberly to hook me up specifically with trans artists.

And she's like, "Darling, I'm in five bands. Here's my Bandcamp."

If I had a bedroom wall of my own, it would be slathered with posters by now.

I've never understood that, but I do now.

We might be headed toward the latest hottest Summer on record, with an utterly devastating hurricane season to follow, and I might be a harbinger of massive evolutionary upheaval during one of the world's biggest and fastest mass extinction events, but humanity sure is showering me with the best music ever at just the right time.

Sorry if that seems like flippant disregard for events that are killing way too many people and other animals, but things are changing. It's not going to turn out the way it was going to just a year ago. The future is different now. And you're part of it.

All of this is to say, though, that on this afternoon I'm listening to that Chappell Roan cover of "What's Up?!" while lounging on my rooftop, giving everyone else a break from my intensity. And my tail is flipping back and forth to the music, kind of like a cat's. If a cat had a little single-horned thagomizer to make a satisfying thump with.

I have no visits scheduled for the next three days, and I'm just letting myself get lost in the music.

I've listened to this song enough, I might be able to sing portions of it. Not as words I understand coming from my mouth, but as music. A sort of whistling that sounds a lot like the instruments, and maybe occasionally the vocals.

I might actually be trying to do that. And it might not sound great to anyone without my headphones on, but I'm alone up here and no one can stare at me or tap my shoulder.

And yeah, some of my neighboring dragons might be complaining occasionally. Or, they're reacting to something, but I've got my eyes closed and I don't care.

And then I feel it. My Artistry sensing nerve gets plucked.

It feels like a chittering skitter, with some snaps and ratchety clicks. There's a rhythm to it that matches the music I'm listening to, and reminds me a little bit of a dolphin and a little bit of Nine Inch Nails. And in particular, I find it soothing. Soothing and energizing.

My muscles want to relax every time it repeats, and I also feel the need to look.

Which I do.

I've already pinpointed where it's coming from, so my head has turned and is tracking the source before I even open my eye.

There's an Artist in the sky.

And like Fenmere, they are a dragon.

Their colors, in the crudest of terms, are green, gold, blue, and brown. But, like, whole gamuts of each of those colors. There are too many words to pick from to describe them. They're almost opalescent in places. It's like if a forest were a sunset with wings, talons, tail, and the most glorious head of teeth, horns, wattle, eyes, and scales.

Holy crud, that face. That pattern of scales!

Have you seen the wattle and jowls of a dragon iguana? Do a search and look. It's like that, but shaped a bit different, because their head is more like a cross between a melanosuchas (a type of really cute caiman) and an ankylosaurus. And I might have more visions of more animals in my head than I've ever realized.

I'm wondering if there's more to it than nearly fifty one years of an intense special interest in dragons and animals that look kind of like us. I almost distract myself from the wonder that's circling me by thinking about this, but I really can't.

If you could just see the flight muscles at work on this creature.

The shape of those claws!

My child must —

I mean.

I don't see any kind of material offering in this person's possession, so they must be here on some other business, Artist to dragon, or dragon to dragon. Or they are mistaken about my willingness to bend on my own demands.

Unless they're carrying it in that generous crop of theirs, and they'll barf it up for me. That'd be —

Um.

This is an Artist, Meghan. Do not fuck with them.

I touch my tablet twice to turn off the music, sort of to irritate myself out of my infatuation, and manage to call out, "What?"

As I do that, I notice that I also jerk my chin up once, slightly gaping my jaw, and slam my tail down on the roof. And I know that that means exactly the same thing as the English word I've just uttered.

"I come, your Highness, bearing the gift of language for you and many enticing traits for your egg to choose from," says my latest suitor. Only, they say it by jerking their chin up twice, chirping and trilling, tilting their left wing down toward me ever so slightly, and wiggling their ass mid flight as they circle.

The "Your Highness" part is just my brain's interpretation of servile deference, and I have to say I react to it as if it is genuine and not at all embarrassing.

But, OK, as I'm succumbing to this rakish drake, I do need to take an aside to address something that's been bothering me. Irking me. In the wake of defeating a very wealthy and powerful white supremacist, it feels pretty gross to be so focused on collecting desirable genetic traits for my child. Even now, I'm reacting to it by thinking about who I should fuck next to compensate, and that's not a charitable way to think about whoever that might be.

Except, look. We're not here to breed a new master race. I do not believe we're meant to replace any lifeforms on the planet. We're here to mix things up, and inject more creative diversity back into all the species of the planet when they might need it the most. I don't know exactly how, when all we can work with at the moment are the more complex and larger animals.

But, like, imagine this. This is just a wild hypothesis I just made up on gut feelings and instinct, and maybe something that's going on between me and this draconic Artist. What if we're not actually changing anything for the current megafauna of the planet? What if what we're doing is actually on the microscopic level, with bacteria and single celled eukaryotes, with fauna, flora, and fungus? All of it? Maybe even viruses?

What if every time we have sex with another creature, we're collecting more than just their reproductive gametes, but also their microbiome? And mixing that with our own?

What if our own microbiomes are as diverse as we are? And spreading and breeding with the rest of the world on that level?

What if my child is to be a culmination of all of the life I've sampled, maybe even eaten, so that they can carry that diversity with them as they go find a new territory?

And you might worry that we might bring new and wildly dangerous diseases, and that might be the case. But we live in harmony with humans now. We are part of your lives and well being. A symbiotic relationship forged in myth and dream. What if, for those of you who are close to us, we're also sharing some of our immune system, because that's what all our microbiomes can be?

Like, all of this is just raw speculation, with no evidence sparking the thought. Just wishful thinking based on horniness and some internal sense of identity and purpose I feel I was born with. And this sex drive that makes me want to fuck everything that's willing.

With a mythological being such as myself, there's got to be a reason for that, and this is what I've come up with.

Maybe I'm lying to myself and to you, but I think we represent the opposite of what the racial purists are fighting for. That's what I want us to be, at least. I want life on Earth to live long and diverse and beautiful, and to explore all the ways it might do that.

But still, for my first time around, I'm restraining myself and focusing on people I can talk with in some way for potential mates.

And by the Shadows of the Moon, this dragon that's cruising around me is using the language of my own dreams to talk to me, and I'm talking back!

"My name is Dragon," they say. "And I am visiting every Dragon Queen to offer myself to her egg and elucidation."

Dragon. Are they the Artist of Being a Dragon? Is there such a thing?

And Dragon Queen? Is that what the whole "queen" thing has actually been about? The term we're going use for this year's egg layer? I kind of like that.

"Elucidate me, Dragon. What do you know?" I demand.

"Allow me to land."

"Do, and prove yourself."

They circle one more time and swing wide so that they can come in straight and slow to land in front of me on the very edge of my roof, giving me as much room as possible. Then they take a few steps forward, bowing their head low, tail and wings high in the air, talons to the ground. Their tail is rigid and shaking, reminiscent of the convulsions of a cloacal kiss.

The royal audacity of them!

"Go on," I say. I could dash my tablet on the sidewalk below and it would not impair my ability to speak with this one. And the only noises we're making are infrasonic to humans and quiet enough that dragons a block away wouldn't clearly hear us.

"My Art is being me, and I am very good at it," they brag. "But I did not fully understand it until nearly a year ago, during dracomorphosis. I have always been a dragon, but I did not know the word for it until it was invented. And I couldn't speak to other dragons until you existed. You have given me the meaning I've been seeking my entire life. And I am here to thank you for it."

"Humans would call you Silvertongue," I observe, masterfully withholding my true feelings behind a mask of indifference, I think. But, ooh, if they aren't lying, that's some valuable information! "Tell me more. But drop the act."

I feel their skittering shift, and then they lick the air with a tongue that is silver colored.

"Like the grandest of stories, I can change my shape to resemble any creature I like. My form is as malleable as your own voice, and so is yours. You can already take another form. I can and will gladly teach you the rest of that skill, and set you on the path to exploring it for yourself," they report. "Also, anyone who drinks a portion of my blood can speak to any animal, including humans. And I am prepared to give that gift to you, should you accept it. In return, I only ask of you to accept my sweetest intercourse, and whichever of my natural traits your child wishes to retain for themself."

"You are very bad at not talking like a courtly suitor," I comment.

"I am a courtly suitor, My Queen," they say, bowing again.

"You are also an Artist, and I've been told not to trust Artists. By other Artists," I say.

"Wise," they admit. "I would tell you the same. I would tell you not to trust me. But you need not. If I offend you at any point, strike me down and consume my body. I will let you."

My body is telling me that I have never heard anything so hot in my entire life. I feel myself going a little crosseyed with it.

I take a very deep breath and let it out slowly through my nose, knowing that even that gesture is an expression that speaks volumes to Dragon, here.

Also, I have to say. As a trans person and therian who has experienced a significant amount of physical dysphoria, this talk of my child choosing their own physical traits from the samples I collect for them? The idea that they could have some kind of agency before they even exist? That's making me melt, even if I don't know if it's true.

I want it to be true.

Still, I feel like I should test this individual definitively somehow. Something to get them to show me their true devotion. I want the dragon magic that they say they can teach me, but if I already have it I can figure it out myself. No, it has to be something personal for them.

But what?

Oh. I know what I need, actually.

I reach for my tablet and use it to message Rhoda. And I make Dragon wait so that I can tell her, "I have a strange Artist here courting me. They call themself Dragon." I look meaningfully up at Dragon, then back down at the tablet and send the question, "May I ask you to judge them in your own way, and give me or revoke your consent for them to court me? I'll take any answer, including figure it out myself. I just wanted you to have a say, if you want it."

After a little bit, I get the reply, "Meghan, that's a lot."

"It is," I reply. "I am a little overwhelmed and about to say, 'yes'."

"Cool yourself, and make them wait," she tells me. "I'm on my way up now. I want to get a look at them."

"Thank you. I love you," I respond.

I get a black heart emoji in return. It's her thing for me when she's too busy to type anything else, and she's being reassuring.

"Wait," I tell Dragon.

"Very well," they reply.

And we both settle down and loaf. They're smiling. I'm not. I'm watching them like they might steal my food.

Then I think, Rhoda shouldn't have to open that hatch by herself, so I get up, keeping on eye on Dragon, and go to open it for her.

I'm well ahead of her movement, of course. She takes the elevator, and I'd expect nothing else of her. But also, she doesn't walk all that fast. And I sit there on my haunches, resting on my foreknuckles, tail wrapped around me, watching Dragon.

Eventually, I hear her cane. And then she softly curses before climbing the ladder, cane clanging against it, and coming into view.

I hold up a limp-wristed claw for her to use as a handhold, and then gently help to lift her out of the hatch, so she can step easily onto the roof.

And she steps forward and hunches over her cane and squints at Dragon.

"Can you talk, or do you need a device?" Rhoda asks.

I feel that stuttering shift again, and then Dragon replies, "I can talk."

"You're too fancy," she states.

"I am the Artist of Being a Dragon," Dragon responds. "How else can I be?"

"Crude. Monstrous. Of the people," Rhoda tells them. She gestures expansively at Fairport, and I know she's indicating my neighbors. "You know. Good qualities."

"Ah."

"Eh," she waves a hand at them. Then she turns and heads back toward the hatch. Stopping there, she looks up at me and says, "This isn't my business. This is dragon stuff. It's up to you."

I expected her to say something like that, but I still feel an incredible amount of disappointment. I don't want our relationship to be that divided, particularly over this. She matters to me, and the impact that I have on her life matters to me. Since I am going to lay an egg and see to it that it hatches, I want that child to be as compatible with her as possible. If she wants nothing to do with my child, that's fine. I just want her to have every opportunity to negotiate that relationship herself! I want her to know that it is her business if she wants it to be.

This breaks my resolve and I feel the need to tell her. Before I can stop myself, I'm stretching to reach my tablet and pull it within talking range to say, "I want this be your child too. If you want."

The look on her face startles me, such an intense mix of emotions, and she asks, "How?"

"Somehow," I respond. "Maybe Chapman help."

She is fully informed by now about how my breeding works. She knows I'm opening myself up to every dragon in town, and why, and she agrees with it. And she knows I've marked myself as not open to humans on my app account. And I've already said multiple times I intend to take all of the childcare into my own claws and mouth. I'll accept help from my family, meaning her and my other humans, but I won't expect it. It should be disappointingly light work, in any case.

She closes her eyes and relaxes every muscle with an exhale of breath, then turns more calmly and looks at Dragon again.

"I can see what you see in them," she says. "I imagine they can teach you a lot, too, of course. And the more we both know, the better." She squints at me with a grim but satisfied smile, considering me in some way, and then points at Dragon and addresses them, "You. Come down to our apartment and have dinner with us. You and I have gotta talk some shit before I let you court my girl, you hear?"

"Yes, Ma'am," says Dragon.

"That's a good start." Then she turns to me, "And you. You shoulda asked me sooner. But I get why you didn't. You were thinking of me and tryin' a give me space, and I appreciate that. But you should know that if you hadn't a asked just now, we'd a had a talk later tonight." She grins, looking really smug. "And it sounds like it mighta gone well anyway."

—

After a long talk with Dragon, I decide I do not want to be able to talk to or understand seagulls, so I forgo that particular offer. Even if it means I won't ever be able to speak a human language fluently, I'm fine with that. I can fully speak and understand draconic now, and people can learn that if they need to.

[residentevil-4]

im so obsessed with the Nursery Verse discourse on tiktok. long post incoming, this became a whole article on accident

recap: thenursery_nurse is a one-woman tiktok/facebook series made by a woman named Charlotte that started as the woman's recounting of her time as a nursery worker (and other peoples stories); eventually it became serialized, with the reoccurring stock characters becoming actual characters, forming relationships, going through character arcs. some characters have gotten divorced/married, miscarried, or had successful pregnancies... overall she still has amassed a fairly large following. theres a lot of effort put into it, she acts very well and is believable as different people, and the stories and skits are engaging if you like drama, so there is plenty to like. she uploads both dramatic, story-relevant videos & the regular old comedic skit videos.

[ this is a link to a tiktok that features charlotte in all her character costumes edited to the song NurseryVerse, the song that sparked the discussion ]

some people started dipping out particularly after the relationship aspect because they thought it was weird that her mostly light and fluffy content started getting a bit raunchy (fair criticism, i found it a little weird but the content isnt even as explicit as abbott elementary, especially since she is the Only Actor in it), but some people are really into the relationship drama of it all, which is honestly what most of it is. people make edits of the characters and ask for more couple videos and have entire pages dedicated to these ships. in particular, the main ships are Winter/Autumn (Wintumn), Marjorie/Reece (Marjoreece), Charlotte/Mia (Mialotte), and more recently the failed relationship of Siobhan/Vivian (Vivihan).

the story developing is controversial but more than anything, the relationships are very divisive! one episode included mention that two characters (winter and autumn) had sex in the baby room... while it WAS late at night, after hours and not acted out at all, i can absolutely see why people think thats very weird!

apparently there are ship tshirts. this may be a step too far... i think its weird for other real-life media but when its just the same woman in a different costume its a little humorous.... lmfao

i actually thoroughly enjoy this series since i enjoy hearing service workers complain about their shitty customers and similar styles of videos (like hair stylists, makeup artists, bakers, sallys/sephora workers). i honestly like drama as well, though i could take it or leave it.

someone once compared it to sanders' sides and im... hurt but accepting, it is a high-effort scripted video series with a single actor playing many characters, so... fair enough!

though apparently the more apt comparison is the Bistro Huddy, a similar story played by a single guy but set in a bistro.

i do think it goes without saying that part of the reason people may prefer bistro over nursery is because of misogyny. a woman doing the exact same thing is more cringe than a man. i dont watch the bistro, so i cant say if his is more or less cringe, but i personally did not enjoy watching his videos, so there's that.

well, whatever media management company she seems to be working for (or with) released the most dogshit song for an anti-bullying charity called "NurseryVerse" with some unknown male singer. its supposed to be fun and uplifting and vaguely introduce you to the series but god. the singing and mixing itself isnt very good but the lyrics are abysmal.

the song got popular (infamous, really, because again, its actually very cheesy) and the wider tiktok community has tapped into the nursery-verse. people do not understand it. they dont get the history behind the series, which is fair, its like entering a show 3 seasons in and expecting to understand the plot.

some of the hate comments are very funny lmfao

she did eventually make a response to the hate in a 10 and a half minute video, though weirdly it is entirely in character (as Marjorie, Autumn, and Mia)... however its not unusual, since she rarely if ever posts videos out of character.

for the hate against the song, she says to let the people who enjoy it enjoy it & for people who dislike it to stop wasting time being an asshole. she tells the people who are being harassed to block anyone bothering them, since apparently that was happening

regarding the sexuality of the storyline, particularly the bit about Wintumn having sex in the nursery after-hours. she says that 1) theyre fake 2) it was not explicit and 3) previously established shows and movies for children have had raunchier and more explicitly sexual content

apparently people are also annoyed that there are a LOT of lesbian storylines (Mialotte, Vivihan, and the unmentioned pre-established relationship between Sorcha and her wife). she essentially says to get over it

she addresses those who miss the one-off skits: she never stopped doing the skits, there is just story between them. i'll add that, when she uploads it tends to be about 3 videos at a time and at least one of those will be a skit! though even some of the skit videos are becoming a bit serialized with reoccurring parent characters...

she adds that those who have "gone viral" for the hate against the song/series are just riding [her] coattails and have no original ideas, or at least have to come up with it.

she teases about the event in October possibly sparking a hate train; i imagine this is because October has a storyline about the (ADULT) characters having a halloween ball. some have made implications that their costumes will be revealing, so perhaps thats what its about?

she says that the money she gets from tiktok is how she makes her money and that the views, whether hatewatching or the genuine, is helping her renovate her home either way.

the comments are mixed it seems, but the negative or critical ones are at the top.

i missed the specific comment but apparently she said something about "bed rotting" and the people aren't liking it:

there are still supportive comments, though!

all in all, after that, the buzz has somewhat died down. that's about it, she's back to her regular posting and the comments on her other posts are as they typically are.

i suppose we will see what happens in october.

[yridenergyridenergy]

Welcome! This is a special invitation to take the whole Dir en grey community for an enthralling ride into the Schadenfreude universe! 

That song’s lyrics are highly poetic, and seeing as it is a long song, we have even more to feed our imagination. These lines suggest an imagery, but far from forcing a specific one onto us, they peel at the layers of our creativity. 

We would love to see your approach on what those lyrics evoke for you. Some of you are incredible talented and this contest is less of a competition than it is an opportunity to create a gallery of amazing art dedicated to Dir en grey’s Schadenfreude!

Prizes

Still, as an incentive, you can expect not just many kudos and my heartfelt appreciation, but a couple of prizes! 

Two guaranteed prizes are sets of VIP & exclusive goods from Tour23 Phalaris Vol.II, which contain: portrait set (photographed during Tour23 From Depression To____ 25th Anniversary), drawing book (Perfume of Sins artist photo outlines), colouring pencils, wristbands set, and a large pouch. 

What’s more random and undetermined is that, on top of that, honestly, there are probably things that I would be willing to do or to depart with from my own collection. Whether it’s something in Photoshop, or you’re a fan of x member who is missing something, we’ll work out an extra prize that I can include in your package!

(Voting method and presentation of the entries to be determined - probably dependent on how many entries there are, if artists prefer to be presented anonymously or something, etc. I definitely won’t be making the decision myself, but I also want it to be as fair as possible for all participants!)

Deadline

I don’t want to rush creativity at all, but please submit your entries no later than July 7th 2023 at 11:59PM EST. Let me know if you find this too restrictive!

Here is the Google form to register your artwork:

https://forms.gle/BeBSzvgTj9GDvUfF7

Entries

You can enter as many entries as you wish to share! There are so many inspiring lyrics in Schadenfreude that would be difficult to mix into a single piece of art. At the same time, there isn’t necessarily strength in number in this case, since there will be at least two winners anyway. This is meant to give you flexibility rather than to force you to make a difficult choice on just one segment of Schadenfreude to illustrate, but don’t spread your efforts thin on too many pieces!

What medium? As long as it’s a still image, go wild with digital, paper, paint, clay(?). 

Literally no other theme than just: “Bring to life a part of Schadenfreude’s poetry”. The lyrics mention scenery for the most, but you could include a person in your artwork too. 

Do keep in mind the tone and way those lyrics are sung, as well as the surrounding melody, of course!

Tips?

This may be more distracting than helpful as it could create bias, but below the break, I’ll include some descriptions of how Schadenfreude was portrayed live by the band. 

Before the hidden break though, good luck to all and thank you to anyone who participates! If you can, please spread the word about this contest!

The lighting for Schadenfreude is overall very much blue and red, but I think there were scenes of red and green too. 

In the background, the accompanying video shows 3D graphics of: gnats, a featureless person praying on their knees, a corridor of material resembling inner linings or organs that leads to a wide room where a faceless branch being sits on a throne, the Devil with its horns, scorched paper, a devastated forest but also a jungle with a giant skull-shaped rcck or monument. Other parts of the video showcase sketches like those of the artist behind the Agitated Screams of Maggots and Rinkaku PVs, displaying a mage or a ghost.