#honestly throw anne in there as well

[ocegion]

Black Sails is the show that really said 'Romance? Nice. Queer Romance? Absolute wonder. A relationship so codependent, kind of toxic, and so twisted up that you can't even begin to unravel all the sorts of love that are in there simulatenously? Yeah that's what this is about'

[rebeccathenaturalist]

ETA: I wrote up a guide on clues that a foraging book was written by AI here!

[Original Tweet source here.]

[RANT AHEAD]

Okay, yeah. This is a very, very, very bad idea. I understand that there is a certain flavor of techbro who has ABSOLUTELY zero problem with this because "AI is the future, bro", and we're supposed to be reading their articles on how to use AI for side hustles and all that.

I get that ID apps have played into people's tendency to want quick and easy answers to everything (I'm not totally opposed to apps, but please read about how an app does not a Master Naturalist make.) But nature identification is serious stuff, ESPECIALLY when you are trying to identify whether something is safe to eat, handle, etc. You have to be absolutely, completely, 100000% sure of your ID, and then you ALSO have to absolutely verify that it is safely handled and consumed by humans.

As a foraging instructor, I cannot emphasize this enough. My classes, which are intended for a general audience, are very heavy on identification skills for this very reason. I have had (a small subsection of) students complain that I wasn't just spending 2-3 hours listing off bunches of edible plants and fungi, and honestly? They can complain all they want. I am doing MY due diligence to make very sure that the people who take my classes are prepared to go out and start identifying species and then figure out their edibility or lack thereof.

Because it isn't enough to be able to say "Oh, that's a dandelion, and I think this might be an oyster mushroom." It's also not enough to say "Well, such-and-such app says this is Queen Anne's lace and not poison hemlock." You HAVE to have incredibly keen observational skills. You HAVE to be patient enough to take thorough observations and run them through multiple forms of verification (field guides, websites, apps, other foragers/naturalists) to make sure you have a rock-solid identification. And then you ALSO have to be willing to read through multiple sources (NOT just Wikipedia) to determine whether that species is safely consumed by humans, and if so if it needs to be prepared in a particular way or if there are inedible/toxic parts that need to be removed.

AND--this phenomenon of AI-generated crapola emphasizes the fact that in addition to all of the above, you HAVE to have critical thinking skills when it comes to assessing your sources. Just because something is printed on a page doesn't mean it's true. You need to look at the quality of the information being presented. You need to look at the author's sources. You need to compare what this person is saying to other books and resources out there, and make sure there's a consensus.

You also need to look at the author themselves and make absolutely sure they are a real person. Find their website. Find their bio. Find their social media. Find any other manners in which they interact with the world, ESPECIALLY outside of the internet. Contact them. Ask questions. Don't be a jerk about it, because we're just people, but do at least make sure that a book you're interested in buying is by a real person. I guarantee you those of us who are serious about teaching this stuff and who are internet-savvy are going to make it very easy to find who we are (within reason), what we're doing, and why.

Because the OP in that Tweet is absolutely right--people are going to get seriously ill or dead if they try using AI-generated field guides. We have such a wealth of information, both on paper/pixels and in the brains of active, experienced foragers, that we can easily learn from the mistakes of people in the past who got poisoned, and avoid their fate. But it does mean that you MUST have the will and ability to be impeccably thorough in your research--and when in doubt, throw it out.

My inbox is always open. I'm easier caught via email than here, but I will answer. You can always ask me stuff about foraging, about nature identification, etc. And if there's a foraging instructor/author/etc. with a website, chances are they're also going to be more than willing to answer questions. I am happy to direct you to online groups on Facebook and elsewhere where you have a whole slew of people to compare notes with. I want people's foraging to be SAFE and FUN. And AI-generated books aren't the way to make that happen.

[sixstepsaway]

so here's the thing

i've seen a bunch of people say on twitter and stuff how... ed's behavior is very abusive and his anger is dangerous and he isn't romantic lead material because of it

and i get where they're coming from

but to me the main issue isn't putting ed in the position of a romantic lead, but not crafting the narrative around his characterization so that it allows for a spicy romantic pirates-in-love narrative instead of...whatever this is.

i'm going to try and explain this. idk if i'll do well but i'll try

the way she show presents stede is as an innocent baby who isn't really equipped for pirate life. he goes into a fugue/disassociative state whenever there's any real violence, apparently, and needs protecting by other characters when things get too rough - for example when ed is telling ned lowe not to take the poker to stede.

that's fine! it's honestly adorable to see a masc character being so soft around the edges and being protected by other characters this way.

(i'm not going to touch on stede's... eh... not great characterization this season rn)

then there's izzy, who is shown as a bit violent, a bit rough around the edges. he's more likely to draw a sword or throw a punch or hit someone with a chair or take a punch like a champ. violence is just part of life for him and that's okay, it just Is, from small things like smacking stede on the ass to bigger things like being wall slammed, it's not all that big or bad for violence to happen around and with him, he tends to give as good as he gets (there's some nuance here but i'm talking the macro themes not the micro of what izzy does vs is done to him)

and finally there's ed

ed is presented as violent (stabbing knives at guys, telling fang to use the snail fork etc) and used to a life of violence, and then in season 2 he's presented as really violent, his anger coming out in dangerous and terrifying ways

and frankly, i'd be super into it if he and izzy were the main ship and that twisted dynamic from the first two episodes of s2 was explored and fleshed out into something deeper

friends to enemies to lovers who fight and fuck. angry pirates who lay hands on each other, who break the whole ship with each other in the heat of passion.

except instead, s2 gives us... abuse. it gives us izzy cringing and lowering his head and trying to protect the kids crew from ed's angry outbursts.

so when stede comes back and he's still soft around the edges and ed headbutts him and it's deliberate, it's... not a great look, and the vibes are a bit skewed

if stede fought back, if when ed struck out at him he struck back, if they fought rather than it being one-sided, if it was friends to enemies to lovers and not presented as healthy, but maybe they can work their way there, who knows, maybe even more like anne bonnie and mary read because hey, they were doing something very similar?

except they were both into it. they were both enjoying the fighting and the fucking and the burning down the house.

stede's not enjoying it.

i cannot describe how much i hate this sequence just because of the way stede flinches

anne and mary don't!! mary jumps at the unexpected bang but she doesnt flinch, she doesn't cover her face like she thinks the vase will be coming for her not the wall and anne? looks so into it

and the thing is that in real life, no, you don't want to date someone who throws shit around, or headbutts you

but in fiction when it's two fucked up people doing this shit together like anne and mary?

that can be fun.

but instead what we've been given is stede flinching and apologizing to ed and then all of ed's...what, semi-redemption???? is done away from the other collection of people he abused, and then he spends some time on a fishing boat wearing a dog collar and everything is fine because he's good now and won't be doing anything bad ever again

and it's just... poor writing. the vibes are rancid.

i spent a really big chunk of time between s1 and s2 defending ed. i kept saying how what he did to izzy by making him eat his toe wasn't abuse, it was a one-off and abuse isn't a one-off thing it's a pattern, and then s2 made it a pattern.

explicitly. explicitly a pattern.

not just one toe but three.

jim saying "you're in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard"

and all ed offered izzy was a "sorry about your leg" which might've been fine if izzy survived and they could work on this more, but instead that's all the apology and closure izzy will ever get

ed threw a chair and a vase and made stede flinch in fear and stede was right to do that. what part of any of this implies this will never happen again? that stede won't press the wrong button at some point and be on the receiving end? none of it

and if we'd been presented with a s2 stede bonnet who could handle himself and stand up for himself and fight back, then maybe i could imagine that turning into a weird sexy fucked up anne/mary like thing and maybe that could be why they put that episode in, but instead it feels like that episode was going, "look, see, ed's violence is fine because these two are fine with it with each other"

but stede isn't

ed and izzy or ed and stede in an unhealthy battle of a relationship could be such a fun, interesting and downright sexy thing to watch unfold on tv, and could honestly end somewhere far more down the chill end of the spectrum, but that's not what we've been given here

i cannot argue that ed isn't an abuser anymore, and not just of izzy but of the whole crew. he terrified frenchie.

it's not good writing to try and lean into the idea that ed and the pirates are violent and live a life of violence, so it's okay that ed's been violent, while simultaneously presenting his violence as traumatic and abusive, and then less than three episodes later saying oh it's fine now, he's just a little meow meow who can do no wrong, see?

especially considering they had him murdering people at the end of the season. and sure, you can say the english are just cannon fodder and they dont 'count', but they did before. ed explicitly did not kill before, and that included the english, or the spanish, or anyone else. so either they count or they don't, but flipping him on a dime makes no sense.

ALSO

having ed be the son of an abusive man who threw plates at his mother and made her cringe and then having ed kill his father to protect his mother and then a season later having ed become the kind of man who throws chairs and vases and makes his love interest cringe is, again, not bloody optimal

i want to say again i dont CARE about tv always presenting healthy relationships or tv always giving us aspirational goals. i want messy fucked up dynamics and terrible people making terrible choices, and still, to this day, i fucking love ed teach. i would honestly love to have seen them continue with ed's darkness and bring stede into it and see where they went with that, to have stede kill ned lowe and not just bury his feelings in ed but get off on it, enjoy the violence, and see where that led, but no

and so instead all we end up with is a protagonist who is being set up for a lifetime of abuse from an intimate partner, and a romantic lead who abuses his love interests (and yes. izzy is a love interest, he is set up like one and positioned like one and treated like one), frightens his love interests with his violence, is erratic and most of all inconsistently written. he was so sorry about scaring fang as though he hadn't been deliberately terrifying the whole crew for fuck knows how long? what?!

the whole fandom has spent so long saying, "no no, i know stede bonnet irl was a slave owner, but ofmd is using the names and not any real piracy, it's more disney piracy, you know? so that kind of stuff doesnt exist!" and then they flipped around and went "blackbeard is blackbeard and so he is evil and does all these horrible things" and i dont know how to rationalize the two sides of that because it feels so out of place

i'm getting rambly, this isnt a particularly well constructed thought process, i just feel like we were robbed both of a toxic, violent relationship that could be fun to see explored on tv and a soft and sweet love story between two middle aged men exploring their first loves in one fell swoop and there's no way for s3 to bring either of those things back because they got utterly torpedoed by making ed a horrible person

ugh

[bethanydelleman]

I saw a post you reblogged at some point about Fanny being stuck in a time loop and it got me thinking: if the main men (both protagonists and antagonists) of the different Austen novels time travelled back to the day they first met their love interest/the start of the novel - whichever is latest so wentworth, knightley, and Edmund Bertram would travel to the day the main events of their novels start - who do you think would end up changing the least of the events and the most (intentionally or not)?

Because I feel like Knightley would change the least and Henry Tilney and the three S&S gents would come next. But like Wentworth would immediately throw the entire novel off track and like Darcy and Henry Crawford would come in close second trying to change their truly awful first impressions

(Also I just want to add that I really love your Austen takes and discussions 😊)

Thank you!

This is a fascinating idea. Here are my thoughts:

Wentworth just marches into Uppercross Cottage and proposes again. Doesn't even wait to be properly introduced to the family. He's getting Anne back NOW. (She says yes, of course)

I can imagine Darcy having a tiny little crisis as he decides if he really wants to be married to Elizabeth, maybe he could just not accompany Bingley to Netherfield and his life could go the way he planned... nah, he can't resist. Off to Netherfield he goes and he lets Bingley introduce him to Elizabeth at the assembly ball. Things progress unimpeded and by Christmas there is a double wedding and Wickham's character is known throughout Hertfordshire. He skips town and Lydia is packed off to Pemberley to benefit from some better society. (Side note: Mrs. Bennet would push Mr. Collins on Mary if she had any inclination that Darcy liked Elizabeth).

If Bingley knew everything, he'd never leave Jane. He'd return from London and marry her, no matter what Darcy or his sisters said. (I wrote that once actually)

Does Wickham count as a main? Because I don't want him having the ability to predict the future. Yikes on bikes!

Henry Crawford is very interesting, because does he actually understand where he went wrong? I'm not sure he does. Can he resist a flirtation with two very pretty sisters? That would be a fun fan fiction to write. Because if he went for Fanny right off the bat and she knew nothing else about him... he'd probably succeed with her, secret Edmund love or not. And she certainly wouldn't have a leg to stand on in refusing his proposal.

Does Edmund come back in the same timeline as Henry? That would be so agnsty! If not, he'd probably be doing whatever he could to keep Maria and Henry apart, but he's shockingly ineffective in canon, so would he even be able to change anything?

Henry Tilney would probably just try to prevent Catherine being sent home alone. He could easily come back early.

Mr. Knightley's best move would be to tell Robert Martin to propose in person. I doubt Harriet could have resisted. Then he could just sit back and watch everything else play out.

Honestly, I don't know if Frank Churchill would change a thing, other than making sure his final letter was posted to Jane. He enjoyed the subterfuge.

Poor Edward Ferrars has to travel back while engaged to Lucy? I feel like he wouldn't even want to relive the novel, there is nothing he can do anyway.

Colonel Brandon would probably change a lot. He could immediately save Eliza and challenge Willoughby. He might even spare Marianne from a lot of pain.

Reginald de Courcy (Lady Susan) would likely act as well and save Frederica earlier than in the novel.

[thelikesoffinn]

Honestly, Solomon is the type of guy that makes me wanna go full social worker on is arse. Like, what the ever shitting fuck is his damage.

Why the fuck does he hate his nephew this much? Sebastian is trying everything to save his sister and all Solomon does is swoop in and go "ROOOAAAARRR! NOOOOO!" *angrily destroys whatever cure the boy has found*.

Like.

Why.

Just let the kid try, for fucks sake. It's how he copes. It's part of the grieving process. The boy is fifteen and may be about to lose his sister after he already lost his parents. Give him a break.

And also, Anne was clearly excited about that cure. So why bother with throwing a fit? What could possibly go wrong? She's in debilitating pain already, it's hardly going to get worse.

And, on top of that: Mr. Super-Auror is awfully quick to abandon Sebastian the second it gets convenient. I'm not sure about you, but, as a caregiver, when I see my charge drift, I try to intervene. Try to catch him and find a reason why this is happening.

Because we are well aware that Sebastian isn't evil. He's desperate. That's a difference. And anyone with more than three braincells should be able to notice that. So when Solomon sees him cast that damn spell, he should have grabbed that boy, given him a stern shake - maybe a good slap to shock that old system - and a fucking hug to try and reel him back into the light. He needed fucking real talk and stability. Stability! But he just throws him away, which leaves Sebastain homeless and quasi orphaned. Wtf.

And then in that final show down he gets hit by one fucking basic cast that he literally provoked out of that desperate fifteen year old nephew of his and he thinks the logical next step is "fire tornado". On both Sebastian AND MC. For some reason.

And while literally trying to fry those two fifteen year old dumbarses alive, he yells shit like "You're no friend of my nephew!" and "It's your fault he went down that path!" to MC which is like bitch wtf. He was like that when we got here, we just didn't toss him aside like apparently everyone else did.

And that bastard is one to talk, pointing fingers while actively trying to turn his nephew and his nephews pal into two piles of Ash.

That guy is so deranged, it's not even funny.

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

I am doing things I AM DOING THINGS I AM!

Explanations for designs and some head canons below here :3

Infected - Asian-American Autistic ADHD aroace (😈) trans. Yknow Wybie from Coraline? Yea like that but like incredibly annoying. His voice sounds like it’s coming from a shitty mic all the time

Lampert (design by @lucid-daydreaming-art )- Autistic 🇸🇪 ja aroace (😈) funny lamp guy Robots-esque probably kinda talks like baymax honestly, I mean a bit different but yknow, the general idea

(I talk about these 2 enough it’s the others turns)

Poob - I think they are a dumb little critter. They run around and their arms flail in the wind like paper. When they try to clap is makes dog toy squeaking sounds. I don’t think they abide by the rules of physics which is why they are stupid looking ❤️ they have hammer space but it is only for weed related items. The curator of the forever weed brownie, if you will. I think they sound like X from bfb. Aroace (😈)

Pest - literally hates poob because they are small and annoying. Uhhh funky legs because I think he would have funky legs. I stole his eyes because well no real reason, but I think if he was like extra pissed you would see his eyes. Since he is like thief maxxing I do not think he would be wearing anything beyond a hoodie and sweatpants, something trying to be non-assuming I guess. He has hair I think but it is very short no way would he want to deal with that. I don’t have a voice hc for him yet. Aroace (😈)

Bive - she a freakkkkk ehhh. I think she is like freakishly tall, has funny bird legs, raggedy ass scrawny tail, and is constantly covered in hair. Her teeth are kinda just floating on her hair head, so if you punched her hard enough they would just go flying out and she would have to put them back into her head silly girl. I think she is also trans hahaahhahahahaha!!! I think she kinda sounds like ENA from dream bbq, the uhh angry side I believe. Ace (😈)

Split - I gave her dog ears because I think they are cute :) she’s probably like normal ish height Bive is just weirdly tall. She looks very nice and friendly but could probably throw a boulder at you and you will die sowyyyy. Gods most chillaxxed soldier. She gives me kind older lady feelings, even if she weren’t older. I dunno she would be like one of those people who have a comically large purse full of hard candy except it would all be banana flavored. I think she has a slower voice, HAVENT gotten an exact idea for her voice yet but she seems very calm. Ace (😈)

Pilby - I didn’t really add or change their design because I already liked it a lot. I think they are very sweet and kind looking, would make a great plush too but I guess we are not ready to talk about that (YES I am still bitter about it) I think being around them is akin to looking outside a window at an apple orchard while it’s raining a bit. I think they sound a bit like raggedy Anne, based on the creators response too. Aroace (😈)

Spud! - I honestly did not have much come to me for his design, they are just a bit of a funky feller and im not sure how I would add to it honestly. Oh but I do think that they run like an ostrich and it is very scary. Also while drawing I was debating why he had a bow and decided that Gnarpy was like CONGRATZ IN ZURVIVING THE TEZTZ and now Spud! Just has a stupid little yuor did it ribbon. Honestly no clue for voice hc… aroace (😈)

Gnarpy - had a lot of fun with xis design honestly. The redesign reminded me a lot of Stitch so I kinda just shoved that into xim. I think they act a lot like Zim. Like a lot. Probably equally as stupid. I think xis second arms are retractable, like stitch, and xe uses that as a very very shitty disguise that everyone can see right through but just don’t mention because xe seems to be having a good time. I think xe sounds like Four from BFB (the earlier episodes mostly) aroace (😈)

DRRETRO - I think that her head that we see in the game is like a projection of herself, Wagstaff Don’t Starve style. Her body would be like excruciatingly normal besides her head, too. Like go to the hospital and see a nurse, that’s just what she looks like. Very normal, it’s a bit unnerving since her head is that. She’s like those overly friendly posters in a very uncomfortable place type of feeling. She doesn’t have fur either, she’s just a weird cat doctor thing. She acts exactly like Doctor Barber from Flapjack. No voice hc, but she speaks in meows so probably just meowing. Aroace (😈)

Mark - I started thinking about tf2 and Anton blast. Anyway, he is completely made from wood other than the clothes. Beard is carved in, not sure if I got that across in the drawing though. Uh yea I don’t have much I just really like engineer. He wears flannel and a construction vest just like any good law avoiding construction worker. Definitely does not so legal things on his construction sites but does not give two shits about that and also probably would try to employ Lampert when he was younger for free workers (no im not projecting what are you talking about). How on the nose would it be to say he sounds like engineer because I just drew wooden engineer with a beard. Ace (😈)

Wallter - sorry wallter fans I had no ideas while drawing him. I dunno he’s big and he’s cement, so I kept him blocky. Urrrrr he has a can of grey stuff jingle jingle. He is the cement embodiment of that one tweet that’s like “nothing better than a glass of wine, except for maybe #men. #yep #imgay! He kinda seems like one of those lowkey scary bald gay guys who are nice but are also scary and still bald. He’s bald. No idea on voice maybe concrete sliding on asphalt for 10 hours. Ace (😈)

[red-hot-kick]

Theory: Ryuji was popular, before.

I'm not entirely sure if anyone has really talked about this but I maintain my interpretation that, in the canon of Persona 5, Ryuji used to be very (or at least moderately) popular prior to the events of the story.

This is something I've gotten into before when talking to friends who like the game and the character, but I haven't really considered writing it down until now. The main argument I have is based on three things:

Things Ryuji alluded to in canon (but no one believed him on)

The deliberate choice of making him a track athlete

Typecasting for voice actors

1: "There were girls all over me!"

I don't really have the time to go on a deep dive through all the instances in which he hints at his reputation before the Kamoshida incident, but I think the most clear-cut representation of this was during the scene where he and Ann spend the day with Futaba during her post-palace social rehabilitation:

So here's the thing...I don't think he's lying about this. Nobody in the room would be that impressed to find out whether Ryuji was popular since they are already friends (or in Mona's case, he really just doesn't care), so it wouldn't make sense for him to lie.

Regarding everyone's reactions though, here's my impression: Ann was simply not aware of what was going on with the track team, being predominantly focused on dealing with rumors, her friendship with Shiho, and her modeling career (and eventually Kamoshida's advances once he started doing that shit) and she mentions a few times that she and Ryuji weren't actually close before joining the PT; they were just in the same class in middle school. Futaba hasn't interacted with anyone her age in years and isn't the most reliable source when it comes to what people generally find attractive; just because she doesn't have any interest in Ryuji doesn't mean that nobody her age would. And Morgana is a cat that brags constantly about how cool he is, so he shouldn't be throwing rocks.

There are many other times in the game when you get little glimpses of his social savvy, and from my understanding of Royal (I'm an OG vanilla P5 player and haven't done 3rd-semester yet, so don't kill me) when the track team returns to "how it was", he is getting along extremely well with everyone. Not only was he the team's ace: this kid was also expected to become the captain by his senior year (as briefly mentioned when he bumps into his former senpai at the gym, iirc). That's huge! If his team held him in such high regard, then the general student body of Shujin surely had a similar opinion. This brings me to my next point:

2: Girls like boys that run fast(???)

This is honestly something that baffles me. It's also really difficult for me to substantiate; any source material on this is obviously in Japanese and if I could find any of it, I sure as hell can't read it. The only English-language source I know of I cannot find anymore; I think it was an old Tofugu article? However. If you've watched any romance anime set in a high school during the last 20 years, you might have seen this trope at some point: the school sports festival is happening, and the relay race is kind of a huge deal (it's the final event! a make-or-break moment for the class!). The boy thinks to himself "If I win this race, I'll be able to win her heart/ask her out/etc." Low-stakes drama ensues. Maybe a confession happens.

This is (from what I've been told) based on a long-standing trend of girls and women self-reporting in surveys about how, oftentimes, their crushes in junior or senior high school were simply "the boy who ran the fastest in the races". I have no idea what this means in a broader cultural context. It makes no goddamn sense to me at all. Do not cite me on this. But I think it's worth keeping in mind, even if it's almost entirely speculative (and possibly outdated) information. And even if it's just based on rumors, don't you think it's pretty in-character for Ryuji to go for a track scholarship—despite being adept at other sports like baseball and football/soccer, as mentioned in P5 and P5D—because he was aware of the potential of being more popular with girls? Of course, his priority would be getting the scholarship and paying his way through school to lighten his mother's burden, but hey, getting a girlfriend on the way up wouldn't be half bad!

I think this could also inform us as to why Kamoshida (as a predator who wanted attention from high school girls) felt so threatened by the track team in particular, and why he felt a need to specifically knock Ryuji down a peg and sought out a weakness to do so (as opposed to targeting any of the probably just-as-popular boys on the many other athletic teams and clubs in the school). Just some food for thought on this one! Also, if anyone can find a source or has any insight on the relay race thing, please share. I am so confused about it.

3: Typecasting

So this is something that you really only notice if you are very into keeping up with seiyuu in Japan. I am not one of those people. But I do have some favorite voice actors! One of these being Mamoru Miyano.

So I freakin' love this dude. He's voiced a lot of my favorite characters, sings incredibly well, and has an unreal sense of comedy. He's stated in interviews that his acting inspiration is Jim Carrey, and let me tell you: it shows. He is also quite consistently typecast into certain roles, predominantly as princely pretty-boy types, Coolguys, or complete fucking nutcases. Sometimes all three at the same time (shoutout to my boy Ling FMA!)

ATLUS definitely cast him for P5 because of his comedic chops. But I think they also cast him because having him voice someone like Ryuji is a great way to subvert expectations for the player. I think it's supposed to give you whiplash—"what do you mean the voice of LIGHT FUCKING YAGAMI is coming out of this guy's mouth?" "why does the delinquent character sound like king of the host club Tamaki Suou?" "isn't that Rin Matsuoka's voice?" etc. etc. etc.

(here's a quick list, just to really get the idea across. maybe you recognize a few.)

This is obviously a non-comprehensive list, but something that a lot of the characters he's voiced over the years have in common is that they were considered cool, handsome, or popular. Not just for fans, but within the canon of their stories! So...what does that mean? What does that say about how we should see Ryuji?

I think players are supposed to expect that he will fall into one of those categories too, and then be surprised to find that it's not the case—that he's been isolated and made bitter and resigned by what happened to him the year before.

Speaking of his tone, I think it's very telling that Ryuji actually forgets to keep up the delinquent act a lot in the original JP audio, which unfortunately doesn't really carry over in the ENG translation. The delivery of his JP lines sounds a bit more subdued in comparison too—yeah he's got a lot of energy and is very hotheaded, but when he gets to talking about serious shit, he sounds a lot more regretful and melancholy as opposed to the EN delivery which depicts him as more resentful and outwardly angry. I think before Shit Went Down, he probably had the Coolguy vibe. Still a bit of a rowdy idiot and a showoff, but I think he probably came across to most people as a very friendly, sincere, and popular guy.

So yeah, the girls probably were all over him, at least for a short while.

[hogwartslegacyreactions2]

hey! I had an idea how the HL characters would react if they saw that F!MC had abs.

F!MC would be all teasing and flirting at the same time.

Ominis would have felt it the most because he would have to feel it to see it.

Professor Fig would definitely think about his younger years. ( proud father )

HLC REACT TO MUSCULAR F!MC

Due to the modest dress code of the time period, MC did not have many opportunities to display her muscles publicly. However, when it was just her and her companion in the middle of the woods and she needed to retrieve something from the bottom of a small lake, she sure as hell wasn't diving in wearing three layers of clothes.

SEBASTIAN SALLOW: He arches an eyebrow as MC suddenly disrobes. "Merlin's beard, woman. If you wanted it that bad, all you had to do was say so." He laughs at MC's glare of indignation. The tone of MC's muscles is quite unexpected, but not entirely surprising. He's been traveling around the valley with them for a while and he's seen them toss enemies around without magic. He's a tiny bit jealous, honestly.

OMINIS GAUNT: "What are you doing?" All he can detect Is that MC is shuffling around in place. He doesn't put two and two together until they jump into the water. They were naked, or nearly so. Oh dear. Thoughts of their body invade his mind and he blushes furiously, trying to shoo them away. They've given him many a strong hug and he can't help but wonder what it would be like to feel their body after they come out of the water.

ANNE SALLOW: "Merlin's beard!" She quickly covers her eyes. "Kindly give me some warning, would you?" Her words may come out a bit sharper than she intends, but it's not out of disgust. No, it's the opposite. MC's body is very lovely and tempting but she doesn't want to be rude with staring. She peeks just before MC dives in.

IMELDA REYES: "Showing off, are you?" She snidely comments as her eyes elevator across MC. When MC confidently smiles and winks back at her, she flushes red and looks away. "My abs are better..." She mutters to herself.

NATSAI ONAI: "Oh, wow." She's transfixed. She always knew MC was strong in the figurative sense, but she had no idea how well it translated literally. MC looked like she could pull a carriage single-handed. If MC teases, she gets all giggly and too hot to wear her own robe.

GARRETH WEASLEY: Once he gets over the shock that MC is half naked in front of him, uppies. Doesn't matter how tall MC is. He wants uppies. MC looks like they could throw him in that lake if they wanted to. He is a happy man in the arms of a strong woman. Take care of him and he is the most loyal of golden retriever boyfriends.

LEANDER PREWETT: Nearly screams when MC starts stripping. He turns away and refuses to turn around. What would his mother say if she knew he saw a girl so undressed? It's indecent! It's scandalous! It's.... it's tempting. He can still see their reflection in the water. His face is as red as his hair. MC was going to be the death of him.

AMIT THAKKAR: His hand flies up to the side of his head to block MC from sight. "What are you-!?" His breathing hitched as more and more clothing piled on the shore. How was MC so calm about this? His heart was going mad. When they resurface, he helps them back to shore, but tries to keep his eyes shut. When they kiss his cheek in thanks for being such a gentleman, his eyes fly open in shock and he takes them in. They're the very depiction of beauty.

EVERETT CLOPTON: Surprisingly chill about the whole thing. He catches every article of clothing thrown at him so MC's robes don't sit in the dirt, and waits patiently for them to resurface with whatever they were trying to retrieve from the bottom of the lake. See, he's being smart. The less of a deal he makes about it, he figures the more comfortable MC will be about doing this in the future. Therefore, he will see more of that lovely body of theirs. Big brain.

POPPY SWEETING: She is staring unabashedly. Muscle Mommy may not be a term in the 1890s, but she's about to invent it. She has heart eyes. She might be drooling. Tease her and she might just faint.

[eldritch-nightmare]

Mk, so, how about Liu, and any other characters of your choice with an S/O who has selective-mutism, but one day they just randomly decide to say something, but it’s in a completely different language. Idk where I got the idea from.

a/n: i saw liu's name and i couldn't restrain myself. i'm monolingual so i had to use various translation sites so if these are incorrect then i am so sorry. nd i opted to just have the reader randomly say 'i love you' because that seemed like an easy phrase to not butcher. except for liu. with what i wrote, i did have to give a full phrase other than 'i love you' and i put it through multiple translation sites so uhm fingers crossed that it's accurate uhm if you speak danish and it isn't then first off i am so sorry and second off can you please tell me what the actual translation is anyways this is a long note sorry fdhjfh hope you enjoy!!

with a selectively mute s/o that speaks in a different language.

includes: homicidal liu, the doll maker, nurse ann, and clockwork.

warnings: gn reader, it's honestly mostly just sappy, liu downplays a stab wound but that's really it.

HOMICIDAL LIU.

Liu doesn't really think about your selective mutism. You'll talk to him whenever you're comfortable, and if that's never then that's fine with him. All he cares about is your comfort.

Besides, if you ask him, he does enough talking for the both of you. At least... he thinks he talks a lot. It definitely feels like it. And who knows, he probably just teaches you morse code so you two can communicate like that.

And little did either of you know, today was the day you'd speak to him for the first time. And not for good reason, sadly. You see, Liu... isn't necessarily a careful person when it comes to his own safety.

So he may or may not have gotten hurt. But it's not like it's a life-threatening injury or anything like that! Besides, he's taught himself how to treat minor wounds like this. Really, it isn't that big of a deal.

You think otherwise, because, uh, he was fucking stabbed. Who the hell considers a stab wound a 'minor' injury?!

So when you saw him cleaning and stitching up a stab wound, this obviously led to some bickering between the two of you. Liu is telling you that he's okay, while you're aggressively telling him via morse code that he's been stabbed and that he needs to get professional medical attention. But Liu was fine. He's gone through way worse than this, so you really don't have to worry.

But him saying that just leads to you throwing up your hands in frustration as you say, "Dammit, kan du ikke se, at jeg er bekymret, fordi jeg elsker dig?!"

And... well... Liu doesn't really know what you just said but he feels really bad knowing that this is what made you speak to him for the first time.

He'll sigh and apologize for not taking his injuries seriously, and he promises to get professional help rather than just treating it himself. He... is legally classified as dead, so he can't go to a hospital but... I mean... he knows a guy who was studying medicine. And a very suspicious doctor.

THE DOLL MAKER.

Vine's native tongue is Russian, so more often than not he'll mutter to himself in his mother tongue rather than any other language.

He doesn't really care if you speak or not, mostly because he feels more comfortable in the silence. He's not the best at holding conversations.

He was busy making a doll with non-human parts this time around. And you were roaming around his little workshop, inspecting all his half-finished projects and sketches of future dolls he planned on making.

Vine trusts you to be around his work, so he's not worried about you accidentally making a mess or breaking anything but he does find himself feeling a little nervous.

Dollmaking is his passion, it's something he loves doing. And he loves you as well and values your opinion more than anyone else's. What if you think he's not doing a good job? What if you think he could make something better?

You've never given him the impression that you dislike dolls or find his creations and passion to be 'childish' but it's still a thought that lingers in his mind nonetheless. Thoughts like this constantly plague his mind.

But when he glances away from the doll he's working on to see you gently straightening out the dress of another one that's on display, a small smile gracing your lips as you admire his creation...

"Я тебя люблю." The words just sorta slipped out of his mouth, and it took him a moment before he went to repeat what he said in English but you spoke before he could even open his mouth.

"Я тебя тоже люблю." And oh. That's the first time he's ever heard you speak, he thinks.

NURSE ANN.

She too is selectively mute, though she doesn't speak because it physically hurts to more often than not, and also... she sees no real reason to talk, to be honest.

You two probably communicate via sign language or writing, though she'll quietly whisper to you if she has to.

Ann doesn't care if you talk or not. She gets it, even if you two have vastly different reasons for your selective mutism.

She's not going to have that big a reaction when you do talk, though she will tilt her head to the side a bit when you speak in an entirely different language.

It'll probably happen while the two of you are spending time together in silence, Ann doing her own thing while you're sitting nearby.

She was caught up in her own little task, mind empty. She was vaguely aware of your gaze on her, but she only really came back to reality when she heard you sigh and softly murmur to yourself.

"Ich liebe dich."

She blinks, taking a moment to process your words. She... doesn't understand German, but the way you softly spoke the words, and the way you were looking at her with such fondness... well, she had a vague idea of what you said.

And very quietly, she whispers back, "Love you too."

CLOCKWORK.

Natalie seems like the type of person who wants to learn a new language, and even begins starting to, but her motivation for it just evaporates two days after starting and she stops trying to learn. And it's just a cycle that rinses, washes, and repeats itself.

Anyways, she overthinks a lot and needs constant reassurance more than she would like, so at the beginning of your relationship, communication was probably a little rocky.

But you guys manage to come up with other ways to communicate rather than vocally.

She'll catch herself wondering what your voice sounds like, and she'll sometimes wonder if you'll ever feel comfortable enough around her to speak but she doesn't push you to talk.

She understands, trust me.

But she's definitely surprised when you wake her up from her nap just to look her in the eye and bluntly say, "Anh yêu em." and you don't even give her a chance to process it before you walk away.

She's just baffled and confused. What the hell did you just say to her? You just spoke. What the hell did you say? Is she dreaming? She feels awake. She's definitely awake.

Natalie has to dig around for her phone to try and search for the translation of what you said, and it takes her a few tries before she finally manages to type it out correctly. She definitely buries her face in a pillow when she reads the translation. And she ends up falling back asleep.

It's only when she wakes up again that she'll go and find you. She'll wrap her arms around your waist and rest her forehead on your shoulder before placing a gentle kiss there and tiredly murmuring, "I love you too."

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 6

Post Shrimp Jump Conspiracy Board Special

Hey y’all! Welcome back to Seacaster Manor where the shrimp party is still raging and the Bad Kids are balancing being cooler than ever with some serious sleuthing. We get a lot of new information this episode so I wanted to try out a new format for this week. I often talk in a metaphorical way about putting items up on a Conspiracy Board but I want to actually try that now that we’re a little over a quarter of the way in and have multiple overarching things happening. This is going to be a lot less linear than usual but bear with me. Gotta shake things up a little so I don’t get burnt out! There’s still fourteen more episodes to go! 

The Rat Grinders

The Bad Kids’ de facto rival party got a lot of screen time in this episode, which makes sense: Adaine declared the party their nemeses over Goldenhoard or anyone else they’ve fought, which is saying a lot. Before this point, we knew the following facts about them:

1) They got their name because the only enemies they’re recorded as killing are low level ones (including rats) that they grind in the woods behind the school, showing a willingness to follow the letter but not spirit of the rules but also an impressive amount of dedication. 

2) Their leader seems to be rogue, Kipperlily Copperkettle who is type A as hell and has a LOT of free time to kill having found the rogue professor (or at least having the rogue professor find her). She’s running for class president on a platform based around “fairness” which is a theme that’s come up more than once this season. 

3) Also on the team are emo Bard Reuben (who seems to be related to the new Artificing teacher and who shares an agent with Fig) and nonplussed Barbarian Mary Ann (who is buffing herself magically somehow).

4) Kipperlily specifically asked about where Kristen was able to create a new god. Now how, where. An odd question. 

This episode, we learned a lot more, so let's throw them on the board and make some connections!

5) The Rat Grinders have a new cleric named Buddy Dawn (something Kristen’s brother mentioned two episodes ago). He’s from Highcourt and moved with his grandparents. He’s got super Mormon+Southern “Bless Your Heart” energy and Kristen doesn’t like how familiar it feels. His vibes are clocked as well meaning but kinda judgey. 

6) Buddy Dawn was *specifically requested* by the party. Of course, requesting a cleric isn’t weird–why wouldn’t you want one? And Helioism seems a pretty common religion in the region so odds are good that if you get a cleric is would be a Helioic one. But, paired with KP’s question about Kristen, it makes you wonder if the plan is to recruit a Kristen expy and try to get lightning to strike twice.  

7) At the beer pong table, we meet the RG’s archer who is an elf named Ivy Embra. She’s got some flirty, catty energy (which we see when she interacts with Fabian and Mazey respectively).

8) We also meet the party wizard, Oisin Hakinvar, who is a Conjuration specialist with a focus in summoning. He’s a blue dragonborn which means that he has a great great great (etc) blue dragon ancestor he can ping when he needs barrels of diamonds, no problem. He has so many in fact that when Adaine lies badly that she’s also swimming in diamonds, he kindly offers to let her borrow some of his “extras”. But she turns them down, calls him great, and then panics and runs away to commiserate with Fabian who is also panicking about a flirty moment with Ivy. Oisin, for his part, seems driven to distraction and can’t make a single other shot all night. Cute! But–

9) As much as I want to wholeheartedly love Oisin (and honestly do and will until I am given direct evidence to change my mind) I have to point out that KVX, known evil bank, did change its logo from red (Goldenhoard’s color) to blue (Oisin’s Ancestor’s color) and there is a shot in the trailer of the party fighting a blue dragon. Connected? Maybe.

10) From investigating some yearbooks, the party also learns that the Rat Grinders have existed since Freshman Year but, at the time, they were called the High Five Heroes. They all look a lot more smiley and a lot less intense–Rebuen’s not even emo. It was the lineup from above, minus Buddy and plus a frost Genasi cleric named Lucy Frostblade. They learn that she supposedly died in their Sophomore year but specifically during a period near the end of the year where grades are locked and it wouldn’t affect their party comp which is…convenient. 

11) Fig tries to investigate this by disguising herself as Lucy and seeing how Ivy and Oisin react. Only Ivy sees her but she doesn’t seem shocked at all to see her allegedly dead party member She just raises an eyebrow and ditches the game to talk to her. Fig bails (and rolls only a 12 to stealth away) so we don’t get any extra info but just the fact that Ivy reacted that way is pretty juicy info as is.  

12) The other Rat Grinders don’t seem to be at the party but the members are skeptical about that. On the other hand, when Ivy leaves, it’s because Oisin pulls her aside and says, “Kipperlilly’s calling”. So it’s possible there was a Team A and a Team B for whatever the Rat Grinders were doing that night?

13) And speaking of what they're doing, we do have a theory. When Fabian checks some damage in the basement where Max and some other kids were smoking "gorgenfern" he sees that something called a cloud rider engine was smashed up pretty bad and in a suspicious way–gorgenfern doesn’t make you rowdy. Fabian checks the security tapes he obviously has and sees that some ice mephits came in and riled people up to the point of crashing into the engine. Adaine conjured some earlier in the party and as far as her arcana check can tell, they’re here, but there’s suspicion that Oisin–a conjuration wizard–could have done it. It’s certainly within his skillset. A cloud rider engine allows a vehicle to fly on clouds and it’s not clear if it was simply smashed or if something was stolen from it. 

14) Max isn’t a Rat Grinder but he did ask them all if they wanted to smoke with him and Ivy offered Fabian snuff so Riz is suspicious that the RG’s are trying to get them kicked out of school for drug use now that they have a non-Aguefort principal who presumably cares about silly rules like that at the murder school. 

That’s basically what we know about the Rat Grinders! So, to sum it up, I’d say the conspiracy board bullet points are:

Supposedly dead cleric Lucy Frostblade: What actually happened to her and why isn’t Ivy surprised to see “her”?

New cleric Buddy Dawn: Why was he specifically requested? 

The High Five Heroes: What caused them to turn into the Rat Grinders? And, as they seem like they were more gung ho their first year, why did they never pivot to fighting things other than low level monsters?

Do they actually have beef with the Bad Kids specifically or are their vibes just terrible? Were they trying to sabotage them by offering drugs? Did they break the engine on purpose and, if so, why?

Oisin: Is he chill or is he working an angle? That question technically goes to Ivy as well but I’m almost certain she’s fully working an angle, lol. I’m getting straight up Aelwyn vibes from her.

Class President: What is KP’s angle re: running for class president? This seems like something she’d want to do either way with her personality but her policy of fairness dovetails too neatly with Grix’s appearance and Cassandra’s inability to say the phrase, “It’s not fair,” last episode.

How did KP find the rogue professor and is that relevant?

And finally, why did KP want to know about where Kristen created her Freshman year god? Well, that question may be partially answered in our next section. 

God Stuff

There is a lot going on this season with celestial shenanigans between Cassandra and Galicaea and even Yes! So let’s mark out what we know.

1) Cassandra was possessed by some kind of rage entity via crystal shards that were expelled from her body. Her status is kind of up in the air right now as the party was shunted away to safety by Connor Counterspell (RIP) and all Kristen has left of Cass are some glowing, purple shards. 

2) Earlier in the fight, while lucid, Cassandra said, “I thought you were dead” about some unseen entity. Later, Kristen heard from a creepy voice that said, “She is at my side once more”. It then threatened her and slid out the rotting corpse of Yes! as a sick joke. Likely that these are the same person or at least connected. 

3) Gorgug identified that the rage stars are similar to what’s going on with Ragh’s mom, Lydia so it was put on the docket to get in touch with her about that–especially because Kalina specifically told them to track down Ragh with her last lucid words. 

4) Tracker’s Galicaea rebrand is going really well. Her social media is really popping and the endless night probably didn’t hurt. 

5) Kristen on the other hand, hasn’t been doing so hot. Due to a bunch of negligence based in lack of time management and personal uncertainty, she hasn’t been evangelizing much which means only she and Craig stand between Cass and her permanent destruction. 

6) Kristen can’t contact Cass telepathically and says she can’t use her magic which is Not Great if you're as danger prone as the Bad Kids. 

Alright, that’s all the old business so let’s move to the new business. 

7) When Kristen talked to her parents, we learned that Helio doesn’t have a chosen one since she left but we learn that it’s more serious than that. Helio also can’t choose a new chosen one. He only gets one. With Kristen gone, the whole religion is without a chosen one.

8) At a certain point, Tracker finally gets a hold of Kristen and says some harsh but true things about Kristen but, more relevant to the conspiracy board, she talks about her girlfriend Nara and Adaine, as a fellow high elf, clocks her as coming from a family of moon goddess clerics in Falinel. That raises the question: is this run of the mill teenage rebellion a la the theme song, or is she some kind of plant? We’ll hopefully get some more info from Aelwyn since Adaine texted her about it.

9) The real juicy stuff happens when we talk to Ragh’s mom. The fiend in Lydia's gem is called Bakur. Her having him in there doesn't make her rage--she's raging to keep him trapped but that's it. Her personality is the same. 

10) Bakur was a pit fiend and the right hand guy of a dead god whose name we don't know (hmm, another dead and nameless god). Bakur can't even say the god's name. It's like, weird god rules and Lydia explains in a weird vague way: gods not being able to use loopholes and saying names being powerful and rules changing for non-mortals when gods die.

11) The one very concrete info we get is that a god can only come back in a place where they were born or created. The reason Bakur’s plan failed is that he tried to bring back the nameless god in the Red Waste and not where they were created. 

12) Rana (Lydia’s party cleric) is away and Cormyr (the party sorcerer) is dead but Lydia offers to put the party in touch with Rana and Cormyr’s family because they have more stuff related to this and they were the ones who knew more about this than her. 

Following? Good. So let’s distill this down to bullets again:

Holy Helio. The corn god doesn’t have a chosen one anymore because Kristen up and left. What does that mean in a concrete sense? What can a chosen one do that a normal cleric can’t? Is Helio gonna ask Kristen to do anything this season now that we know that this is a special position that only one person can fill? Is it until she dies (or at least dies for real)? Would a fanatical Helioic person try and kill Kristen to open up that slot?

KP specifically asking WHERE Cassandra was created seems clearly tied to the info Lydia gave about only being able to resurrect a god where it was created. But what does that mean exactly? Is she trying to resurrect the same god as Bakur? Did she just assume that wherever Kristen made her god is probably where most gods are made and, thus, her best bet? What’s her angle? Is this an evil plan for just a “this will get me a good grade” plan?

Where in the world is Cassandra right now? She is MIA right now which means Kristen’s powers are too. Though I wonder if she can draw on those shards to cast spells.

We obviously can’t be sure but it seems like the voice Kristen heard and the person that Cass thought was dead is likely that unnamed god. What’s his deal? I’m sure we’ll have more info for this bullet soon. 

Is Tracker’s new girlfriend Nara, much like Ecaf, a turncoat? 

With Helio, Cass, and Galicaea all being in the mix, is there any kind of family angle being played. It doesn’t come up a ton but they are very much related. 

MISC

This is a section for a few points that don’t yet fit under the main two headings of the season but still need to go up on the board. 

Why would Aguefort program a robot that acts like Grix? Is he supposed to be like or is he hacked? If he is hacked, who would be able to do that? The new artificing teacher? The old one?

We learn that Aguefort has made a lot of contradicting proclamations and all of them are canon, so you’re able to pick and choose what you want to cite (I feel like I’m in law school again). Lots of room for loopholes which could be useful later. 

Adaine, while very drunk, had an oracle vision of Kristen at a birthday party, giving a victory speech to a bunch of teens on election night as a crescent moon hangs in the sky. The Crescent moon potentially gives them a time frame if they look into it (and it specifically being mentioned makes me think of Galicaea even though not every moon thing has to be connected to her). And we know Gorgug’s birthday is near the Frosty Folk festival so maybe that’s why the hats.

Speaking of, we know there’s a connection between Riz’s mom defending someone for money crimes re: that Festival and Gorgug’s parents hosting it so that’s something to remember. 

This isn’t something for the pin board per se but this season introduces a stress token system for downtime! I’m sure I’ll talk about it more when we use it for the first time next ep but, for now, gotta say he’s really ramping up the pressure on our kids! And, to that point, let’s do a quick check in with everyone and see what they’re up against!

Character Board

Adaine

-Adaine is still facing major money troubles. After last episode, not only is her job terminated, but she actually owes 2.5 gold for her uniform. 

-It looks like she might be developing a bit of a crush on the cute dragonborn (yay) but he’s a Rat Grinder (nooooo). I will say though, cross party romance could be a lot of fun and also my favorite NPC in this show is Aelwyn whose top 2 traits are famously Criminal and Loves Adaine so I am honestly fine with this either way lol. 

-Speaking of Aelwyn, I’ll put the sister stuff together: When Adaine calls her to ask for dirt on Nara she says, “Working, will call in five.” And when Adaine questions the fact that it's 5am on a Saturday, Adaine just gets a winky face emoji back. Suspicious! 

Fabian

-Fabian has to juggle the new 150% course load (bard/fighter) as well as his new party house reputation.

-He has a lack of adult supervision which also means a lack of adult care and it seems to be affecting him more than he’s willing to let on. 

-But honestly his biggest obstacle is probably himself right now, lol. He made himself a new nemesis in Gertie Bladshield and I am not confident he can handle this honey trap mission with Ivy without the tables being turned on him. 

Riz

-Riz is also facing money troubles, but for him that’s kind of business as usual unfortunately.

-He has a TON of extracurriculars to keep track of but he so far seems to be handling it pretty well and is picking up some interesting allies (that double as votes for Kristen’s campaign–campaign manager is also an extracurricular he’s taken up): the aforementioned Gertie Bladeshield (Apiary Club), Sprak LeFevre (Aviation Club), and Molman Holden (Soil Club). Always good to have new allies and Aviation Club seems like it could be really useful later! I can see him making some luck checks to successfully say, “I know a guy” in a tight spot based on how many clubs he’s joined. 

-He also has the Reliable Talent ability now which means he’s incapable of rolling lower than a 21 on things he’s proficient in which includes Investigation. We’re about to be getting some INSANE lore dumps. 

Gorgug

-Gorgug has his insane 400% courseload happening and I didn’t notice this until it was pointed out to me but Zac actually leveled Gorgug DOWN in Barbarian to take an extra level of Artificer! That’s commitment. But I can’t imagine Porter, who already has a problem with him, is gonna like that. 

Fig

-Fig would hate it if I didn’t start this list by saying that she hella misses Ayda and that’s her biggest problem. 

-But she also has her album to worry about and we actually get the bombshell during a conversation with Mazey that she’s not even sure that she still wants to be a bard.

-On top of that, she’s taking Barb and Warlock classes along with the Bard classes she’s finally going to. 

-She has her gnarly Gilear curse happening that’s seemingly connected to whoever the boss who owns the pride armor is. 

-She has beef with Rebuen and is living her double life as Wanda Childa to try and learn whatever she can about him/the Rat Grinders. 

-Both she and Wanda are wanted by the Solace FBI.  

-On a positive note, she really endeared herself to Mazey by sweetly sticking up for her when Ivy was being catty. If Fig wasn’t so devoted to Ayda I could have read their interaction at the end of the ep as flirty. Regardless, nice moment and great ally. 

Kristen

-Welp, her god is, if not dead, MIA which is arguably the biggest deal of anything on any of these lists, especially since it’s tied to her magic AND her grade. 

-Next of course is the potato to her meat on her plate: her campaign. But that’s actually going really well, especially after this party. Her biggest issue is whether or not she can get Fetty Wap to homecoming and, lbr, in a pinch Fig can just disguise herself as him. When has that ever not worked?

-She also has this unnamed god (or whoever it is) taunting her and threatening her specifically which isn’t ideal. 

-But I honestly think she was more fucked up by the conversation which Tracker where her ex basically outlined everything she needs to get together in her life and then posted a pre-written pic with her new girlfriend. That’s gotta sting. 

And that’s it! I wanted to focus on the specific nuggets of info we got this episode and start to connect them with what we knew so far. Different format, I know, but I’m feeling experimental this season and I might switch it up a few more times as Junior Year goes on. I love covering Fantasy High but, like I said at the top, I have to keep it fresh so I don’t burn out. See you next time when Brennan makes the stress we’re all feeling an actual game mechanic! Fun!

[omgthatdress]

Everything I know about the royals comes from Tumblr memes and one bonus episode of a totally unrelated podcast but now I'm morbidly curious, so: what's up with William? And the Middletons? Or if that's a longer story than you want to explain, do you have recommendations for where to read about this that is likely to be fairly accurate?

I don't have any facts I just have pure fucking speculation if that's okay. :)

Like I've been saying for a long-ass time the one thing I absolutely LOVED about The Crown was its portrayal of generational trauma. It very skillfully showed how being a shitty husband who cheats on his wife and treats his kids like garbage was passed down from Prince Andrew of Greece and Denmark to Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh to King Charles and then to Prince William. Hell, it probably started long before that but holy shit THE CYCLE OF DYSFUNCTION AND ABUSE BE REPEATING ITSELF.

And if you really want to dig into it, well.... I think he and Harry followed a pattern that a LOT of siblings of bitter and messy divorce fall into, one kid sides with the mom, one with the dad. It's been said a LOT that Harry was Diana's favorite son, so it probably started with that. And OF COURSE William is gonna side with Charles because well... he's the heir. They have that shared trauma.

And then there's the way the whole "heir and spare" thing absolutely perverts any relationship they might have had as brothers. Charles managed to have a decent relationship with his siblings, I think, because first of all, Anne was a girl, and then Andrew and Edward were significantly younger than him and Anne, so there wasn't this unnaturally massive imbalance of power between them. One of the reasons I've come to believe the monarchy should be abolished is because of how badly it damages the structure of a family in a way that no one should have to deal with.

I think Diana might have been able to guide William into being a better person if she'd have lived, but idk. It may be wishful thinking. His relationship with her became kind of strained when he was a teenager and she was going on TV to tell the whole fucking world about her sex life. I think Diana did the right thing exposing the family like she did, but I can also understand how a 13 year old boy would be absolutely humiliated by that.

THEN there's the whole way he was a MASSIVE heartthrob as a teenager, and was intensely sexualized for it. Like it will absolutely mess with you when you have girls screaming and throwing themselves at you when you're still trying to figure your own sexuality out. It will also massively inflate your ego and convince you that the whole world loves you and there's nothing you can do wrong.

SOOOOOO

as for his relationship with Kate. She's much harder to pin down because she hasn't spent her entire fucking life in the spotlight, and the Middletons are sill granted a certain degree of privacy that the Windsors aren't. I don't think they're as absolutely fucked up as Diana's family was but I still definitely think her mom was a major driving force behind her staying with William.

I think there actually was some initial mutual attraction and that they may have even actually been in love. Buuuut then he waited ten years to propose to her, during which he cheated and they broke up and got back together. Honestly, I don't know what Kate's damage was with all of that, whether or not she was able to convince herself that William wouldn't be another shitty husband, or if she was willing to put up with his bullshit if it meant she would be queen.

Diana was more or less picked out as a bride for Charles because it was assumed that she would be a meek and beautiful wifey who never caused any problems. I mean, she was 19 and he was 32 for fuck's sake. She very much wanted to be queen. BUT what everyone wasn't counting on was that Diana would *gasp* have some serious emotional needs. She was deeply traumatized by her own parents' incredibly bitter divorce, overwhelmed and deeply lonely in her position as princess, and on top of that, suffering from bulimia and then post-natal depression. She needed love and support and Charles spent the whole marriage balls deep in Camilla.

Kate had a much more stable upbringing and had more than a few months to get to know both William and what her role as a princess would be. Ultimately, the vibe I get from her is that she's willing to be the perfect meek beautiful wifey who puts up with William's bullshit if it means she can be royal, which is exactly what Diana was supposed to be.

And I don't mean that to knock or belittle her. She's good at it. She looks incredibly happy when she's doing that. It's her career. It's an exchange I can actually really understand making, especially when your only other prospects involved working for your parents' party company.

But I could be extremely wrong about all of this Maybe she's absolutely miserable but she feels like she has no other options and worried about losing her kids and is terrified of what happened to Diana. It's hard to know, and I wish The Crown would have at least committed to *something* rather than just brushing all of this off.

[legacygirlingreen]

Part 3 : Stardust // Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Authors note:

I hope part 3 is worth the wait because… well it’s definitely… heating up a tad 😉 Thanks again to the awesome @hyunrikim , love you so much seriously for the ideas with writing the more spicy scenes… and @localravenclaw for the permission to throw her lovely AI Sebastian image in the cover art this time (seriously it’s beautiful and I love it 😭). Anyways… hope you all enjoy…

Word count: 8,500 +

Warnings: NSFW content, slight mentions of breeding/pregnancy (only if you squint on the second - no one actually gets knocked up!) , Minors Do Not Engage, 18+

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/legacygirlingreen/713709759369560064/part-1-becoming-a-proper-gentlemen?source=share

Part 3: Stardust

Sebastian wiped the sweat that had accumulated near his hairline with the back of his left hand while he continued to dry the wood table with his right. Since he’d started working at the 3 Broomsticks he found carrying around a rag at all times to be helpful, given there were often spills in this line of work.

He hadn’t even been back with everyone at the castle for five minutes before he was using the Floo network to travel to the tavern, practically begging on his hands and knees to Ms. Ryan for employment in his spare time. The conversation had gone over quite honestly, and as he continued to clean the mess left by one of their regular patrons he remembered the words the witch had told him.

“Whatever do you need a job for Sebastian? You are in school. You need to be focused on your studies. I am sure your parents would not be thrilled with the idea of you splitting your time this way…” she told him apprehensive to grant his request.

“I am only talking about the occasional evening and weekends Sirona please… It is very important to me that I am able to make the money on my own. Being here is much safer than the alternatives I have considered. Besides, I am old enough to be making decisions.” He told her, begging his case.

“What is it that you so desperately need the galleons for? If… if your family needs help covering for Anne you know you can always ask me for the assistance… I knew your parents quite well, and I refuse to watch you work yourself to death on Solomon’s behalf.” She explained, misreading the situations, but still offering from the kindness of her heart.

“It’s not… it’s not entirely to do with Anne. In fact, for the most part it isn’t.” He said, looking down sheepishly. Sebastian was anxious explaining himself to anyone besides Anne and Solomon, as they may not understand his witch came from different customs. While he was confident in his affections for the new student, he worried about the judgment he may face from others over their chosen course of actions.

“Sebastian, you know I am going to need more information than that…” she explained, trying to be gentle to the young man.

“I know, I know” he frustratingly ran his hand through his disheveled hair, looking around awkwardly suddenly aware the nosy sets of eyes upon him as he struggled, trying to find the words to say when he was interrupted.

“I need a hand grabbing one of the kegs from storage. Join me?” She asked. Sebastian realized she could just lift them with a simple charm, taking the moment of privacy the tavern owner so graciously was offering. He nodded, stepping through the doors to the back store, following her down into the cellar as the enchanted braziers on the wall lit up as they walked down the stairs.

“Alright, out with it. What trouble have you gotten yourself into Sallow? Whatever it is we ca-“ she started, immediately assuming the worst but when Sebastian shook his head she stopped speaking.

“I am not in trouble. Far from it actually…” he blushed, thinking of how to word his request and explain his current situation without looking like a love stricken fool.

“Is it to do with that girl? The new student? The one with you over the holiday?” She asked. Ever the astute Ravenclaw.

Sebastian nodded, clearing his throat while looking back at Sirona who eyed him curiously.

“I will say, you looked quite smitten, even after the troll attack. Then each time you’ve visited with her since… I’ve noticed a shift in you. I am correct in assuming it’s been because of her?” Sirona continued to dance around the subject.

“Yes… I have grown, quite attached to her.” He said, confirming the witch’s suspicions.

“You are saving up to gift her something I assume? That’s why you need the money? I am sure if you plan to get something from a shop here I could work out a few days work in exchange -“ Sirona started but Sebastian interrupted.

“What I plan to get is not something sold here in Hogsmeade…” he explained.

“Curious… Not in Hogsmeade? Most things needed by witches and wizards are available in town. What’s the occasion? A birthday?” she inquired

“I want to ask her to Marry me. And I don’t intend on doing so without a ring. Solomon gave me some of my inheritance to get land for a home, but I… I want to work for the money for a ring.” He finally caved, giving her a full explanation.

Sirona remained silent, not entirely shocked at his confession as to why he needed the money. Seeing them together before Christmas had reminded her of watching her older friend and classmate with one Sampson Sallow…

“Well… I usually don’t employ students outside of the summer months… however lately it’s been quite rowdy on the weekends. I suppose having an extra hand could be nice. However, you have to promise me this won’t interfere with your schoolwork. Your mother would kill me if she knew I was taking you away from studying to serve butter beer.” She offered with an outstretched hand.

Sebastian promptly smiled, raising his hand to meet hers in a firm shake.

That had been over a month ago, and since then he’d spent almost every single Friday night, Saturday and Sunday on his feet from the moment the pub opened until they sent their last customer home. On more than one occasion he’d needed assistance getting back to his common room simply from the exhaustion.

He hadn’t fully lied to the girl either when she inquired about his sudden employment at the three broomsticks. Sirona had said she wanted assistance on weekends, and Ms. Ryan had been kind enough to play along with the excuse when questioned. The way the two had skirted inquires from the new Slytherin was admirable, to the point the girl hadn’t even questioned it anymore.

He was always grateful when Sirona would bid him goodnight and she would be waiting there under the streetlamp next to the floo flame, ready to head back with him. Sometimes she would be joined by Poppy or Natty, already out of the castle on an adventure, but she made it a priority to see him leaving his grueling shifts.

Even thinking now about how excited he was just to see her warm eyes under the lantern’s light once he got to step out of the stuffy pub into the cool air made him smile.

“Sallow, mind helping the table in the front?” Sirona called, breaking him out of his trance as he nodded, working his way to the small enclosed table near the front door. Watching his step carefully, attempting to avoid slipping on the wet floor coated in spilled drink and melted snow he didn’t look up until his feet were directly in front of the booth.

Upon doing so he was greeted with the welcome sight of his favorite companions, noses red from the cold, thick layers of winter clothes still wound tightly around their chilled bodies from the track from the school. Ominis was still attempting to warm his hands by rubbing them together, unfortunate enough to have to hold his wand out while he walked, while everyone else would’ve been able to keep theirs warm in their coat pockets.

Next to him sat one very excited looking Lucan, thankful to be included in a late night activity with the older students. Natty joined him, scolding him for running ahead, as she no doubly felt responsible for her younger housemate. As he looked around the table, he noticed Poppy Sweating giggling as… Imelda whispered in her ear… The sight both confounding him while also making total sense the more he thought about it. Lastly he looked to the other side of Ominis seeing his witch standing to greet him.

“Sorry if the group grew a bit too much, I only intended it to be Ominis and I, but word spread and-“ she was cut off as he quickly latched his hands onto her waist, joyfully lifting her into his arms and connecting their mouths. Breaking apart with a giggle he set her down at the brief exchange, expecting Imelda to make a nasty comment at their affection. Instead he found the Irish girl with her head propped up on her hand taking in the words of the young hufflepuff as if they were the only thing in the world to listen to.

Shaking his head he brought his attention back to the witch in his arms, eyes crossing with hers as he explained “Honestly you could’ve come here with Leander and I’d still be happy just getting to see you.” She knew he was exaggerating, as he found the Gryffindor boy to be the most repulsive of their classmates.

“Been a long day?” She asked, sensing the tiredness in his eyes and he nodded.

“Positively exhausting…” he leaned in closer, her cheeks growing warmer with anticipation of what he could be telling her in secret.

“Imelda and Poppy?” He phrased as a question as he leaned back with a smirk.

Smacking his shoulder she narrowed her eyes almost threateningly “Don’t you dare.”

Knowing she was right in the assumption he would taunt their housemate for her seemingly new crush on the cheery girl from their class he shook his head.

“How is it fair? She gets to taunt us, then gets off Scot free when it’s her turn” he pretended to pout but at this point only played along to get a rise out of the girl currently in his arms.

“I will hurt you myself Sebastian. Leave them be. They will come to realize it in their own time… besides… I don’t want to make it harder for them since people may look down on them for both being girls…” the way she expressed her concerns for her two friends not being accepted by his classmate made his heart melt. Looking over her shoulder to see the Slytherin girl working her green scarf around Poppy’s chilled skin made him realize that she may be correct to leave them be for now.

“You’re right. I shall leave it be… for now…” he jokingly teased

She leaned up to peck his cheek before coming off the tips of her toes, “thank you”. Sitting back next to Ominis, she quickly cast a warming charm on his gloves and he thanked her.

“6 butter beers?” He asked the group, everyone but Poppy and Imelda looking up with a nod.

“It is so cool that you work here now Sebastian! Dueling extraordinaire, top Slytherin Student, former quidditch star and now bar tender at the best pub in Scotland!” Lucan praised him as he smiled at the younger boy. He had always carried a soft spot for the younger boy, whose mischief and creative mind rivaled his own.

“You’re much to kind to him Brattleby. As I recall, he lost crossed wands to y/n.” Ominis said with a smirk. Hearing their housemate attempt to lower him was all it took for Imelda to snap out of Poppy’s trance as she looked up at him with a smirk.

“He also can’t hold a candle to her flying record” Imelda said looking directly at his eyes tauntingly. Natty and the young Gryffindor watched the exchange with widened eyes.

Sebastian looked from Imelda to Poppy with a smirk, before returning his gaze to her. When she realized what he’d done, the fire in her eyes shrunk, fearful he would comment on what he’d seen. Instead he surprised her by looking down to the girl who’d stolen his heart, opting to heed her warning and refrain from saying anything even jokingly.

“Oh I am fully aware that even inexperienced this one is far better than me. I consider myself lucky to be in her company most days. After all, that’s all one can hope for… to steal the heart of someone so wonderful… how have you been Poppy? You’ve hardly said a word. Come across any dragons again recently.” He said, attempting to get the eye off himself as Imelda quickly turned to the girl for an explanation and he slipped away to grab them a drink.

Once behind the bar Sirona came back up from the storeroom, watching the group as Poppy told them how her and his witch had rescued a dragon from illegal fighting rings. He had been privileged enough to hear about it shortly after it happened, as there were few secrets between them. One would think he would be possessive or even demanding she did not throw herself into danger, especially after the incident over their holiday, but Sebastian trusted her abilities. He knew asking her to refrain from such adventure would be like caging a bird. Despite his worry, he would never ask her to do such a thing.

“I figured you could use a break” Sirona said nodding towards the table.

“Thank you, sorry if I’ve seemed… distracted today.” He explained. He wasn’t fully sure why he’d been in his head for most of the day, but he found himself zoning out. Perhaps the exhaustion of 2 and a half straight days of working was getting to him.

“You’ve been working hard this last month. Your mother would be proud.” Sirona said, filling the last mug, setting it on the tray for him to grab. As he went to lift it from the counter he saw 7 instead of 6.

“They only needed -“ he started but she wasn’t having it.

“Take the rest of the night off, I’ve got it from here.” She explained, shooing him from behind the counter.

“But, I -“ again he started but she interjected, grabbing the rag on her shoulder and slapping him with it.

“I am paying you for the rest of the evening whether you work the shift or not. You are young, you’ve got your friends and your love right there. Consider it a thank you for the hard work the last few weeks.” She said shoving a small leather bag of galleons in his hand.

Sebastian promptly opened it, expecting to see knuts, perhaps a few sickles, but instead was shocked to find it filled to the brim with galleons. His eyes widened and nearly filled with tears at realizing how much money she’d given him.

“This is entirely too gracious Sirona, I can’t-“ he started in but she placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Take it. I haven’t been privileged enough to find someone of my own, but that doesn’t mean I don’t recognize true love when I see it.You’re a hard worker Sebastian. Definitely as kind hearted as Alice. Please take an advance. Work when you can, but focus on visiting Anne and making her happy right now.” She explained, recognizing how much he’d done even in such a short amount of time.

Sebastian pocketed the money, removing the apron from his body as he quickly cast a charm to clean his dirty clothes. “Thank you Sirona… at the very least let me help clean up once everyone leaves” he offered, feeling the need to continue to earn his wage.

“I think I could find that acceptable. Now go. Enjoy. It’s on the house” she said, shooing the young man away, smiling as he sat down next to the Slytherin girl at the end of the table, wrapping his arm around her as they all began enjoying their evening.

***** *****

“Hey watch those hands Lucan!” Sebastian taunted, watching the young boy’s face go even more red as he attempted to aid his witch in standing. The group had enjoyed a tad too much, and were making their way back to the school grounds without him. He’d entrusted the two Gryffindors, deeming them more responsible than the very distracted Poppy and Imelda, and not wanting Ominis to be on edge leading her around without sight.

“Of course, sorry Sebastian!” The boy’s voice squeaked out as he leaned down to hold her face in his palm.

“Don’t take too long” she pouted and he chuckled, kissing her forehead. Taking the ends of his scarf that she’d worn, he wrapped it around her gently.

“I won’t, but Sirona shouldn’t have to clean up on her own. Wait up for me when you get back?” He asked, hinting at her to wait in the Room of Requirement instead of their common room. She nodded vigorously as the two Gryffindor students carefully escorted her down the path and out of his view.

Returning inside he saw Sirona had done almost all the labor to clean that normally took them hours. The chairs were resting on the tables and she had an enchanted mop scrubbing the floor. She sat at the bar, rifling through a box filled with parchment, looking up when he re entered.

“I want you to come look at something, it should only take a moment. You’ll be back in time before curfew.” She explained and he nodded taking a seat next to her.

“Ah, here it is. Sliding a worn envelop into his hands, he saw the words “Ryan” on the outside in familiar handwriting without a first name.

“To my Dearest house Companion,

I was so glad to see you again since you graduated. It has been entirely too long, and I apologize for the briefness of our last encounter at Hogsmeade. The twins are still quite young and require much attention as you can imagine.

I was writing to see if you were doing alright. I must be honest, upon seeing you at the three broomsticks, I have been worried for you. I hope you received Sampson and I’s owl with some help to purchase the tavern, knowing it to be your dream now that it’s available. We had looked forward to seeing you running the place.

You looked very worn my dear, and I worry that you are harboring much anxiety. I have never pressed the conversation you have shared in confidence with me, atop the Ravenclaw rooftop that night. I have guarded your secrets, knowing that only myself and your friend Maribel to be the only ones who know the “real” you.

I hope you find this letter as encouragement. I have known you since you were sorted into our house. I have watched you grow. I have always known you to be such a strong and kind hearted witch. I can assure you, that letting others see you as such may provide a freedom you had not considered. I only offer such advice as I wish to see you happy, however please do not feel pressured if you are unready to be open with others.

Sampson and I shall be returning to Hogwarts in the fall, both of us accepting positions as professors. I am excited to be able to visit you more, and ask if there any way possible you could watch the twins during the day. We shall provide you money in exchange. Sebastian is getting to that age he just wants to be involved in everything, so while he may be young, I imagine he may actually provide great help.

Either way, please always remember how deeply cared for you are. You are one of the kindest souls I know. I look forward to seeing you again soon.

All my love,

Alice Sallow

P.S. I recently stumbled upon a beautiful spring in my travels, and it made me think of you. I believe the goddess Sirona, to have sent me a feeling to write to you, so attached you shall find a vial of her earthly blessings…

Sebastian held the letter in shock, knowing that he didn’t have memory of Sirona before she began watching them some days while their parents taught. The heavy bag of galleons in his pocket acting like an anchor.

“Your mother was one of the few people in this world who could actually see the real me for so long. She was a dear friend. I have always wondered how I may thank her for her kinship, and her encouragement for me to be myself… helping to look after you has been such a joy Sebastian. You are truly a man she would be proud of.” Sirona spoke, holding out a photo of himself and Anne at the tavern while young in which Sirona was allowing them both to dangle off her strong arms the air as they cheerfully giggled.

“I don’t know what to say Sirona, this is much too kind” he explained.

“Don’t be. Your parents helped loan me the money to buy this place. You can consider it repayment if it eases your mind… however I want you to do what makes you happy.” She explained, standing to escort him to the door.

He brought the old family friend into his arms as he hugged her close. “Thank you Sirona, for everything” he said reverently.

“Of course. Just know… I expect visits every now and again. I’d also like to see the ring, once you’ve asked.” She said with a wink and he straighten, giving her a nod.

“Of course, this shall be the first place we stop to celebrate. I promise.” He told her and she smiled.

“Go on Romeo… I recall you told her to wait up for you.” She said and he couldn’t stop his legs from bolting towards the flame back to hogwarts.

***** ***** ******

He ran through the room of requirement like a man on a mission. Thankful that Deek was no where in sight, he all but bolted at top speed down the stairs that lead to the second half of her magical room. He wasn’t sure why exactly he was in such an urgent need to be near her, to hold her, feel her press into him. Perhaps it was the excitement he felt knowing he could move forward with their joint plans to build a future together. Maybe he truly had missed her company over the past few weeks. Or a combination of everything, but he didn’t stop until he found her cuddled up next to the window in a lounge chair with a blanket over top her. In her hands she twiddled her wand, curling and twisting it around her fingers.

“Hey you” she giggled out, looking up at him.

Sebastian held his hand out, begging her to rise to meet him, all while his body felt like it was shaking with electricity. Swinging her legs to the side she allowed him to pull her from laying down to standing in his arms.

He couldn’t help the sigh of relief that tumbled past his lips as he wrapped his strong arms wrapped around her much smaller frame. His one hand cradling her head onto his chest while the other pulled her impossibly close by the waist. She breathed in his normal sent that had wrapped itself in a mix of butter-beer and sweat from a day of hard labor. She felt him tip his nose and mouth into her hair, breathing in his own sigh of relief.

“I know I need a shower, but I wanted to see you first” he said, voice muffled by being so close to her.

“There’s no rush… we have all the time in the world” she said, pulling him closer as she spoke. He smiled, knowing that she had know clue the weight to which she alluded, as that time was about to rapidly expand in their near future. There was something sitting in the air. Almost heavy, and filled with longing and anticipation. As he gently held her, almost swaying the same way they had Christmas Eve in Feldcroft, the depth of the feeling grew.

Suddenly the room began to shift, a loud sound echoing throughout. Jumping away from her, grabbing his wand he shoved her behind him ready to protect her if need be. Immediately the air was filled with her boisterous laughter.

“It’s just the room shifting… let’s see what it thinks we Require” she spoke, eyebrows dancing as she giggled, pulling him by the hand to the corner were a small door appeared.

“Does it do that often?” He asked her, still shocked at the magical properties of her room, despite having spent a great deal of his time with her inside its walls.

“Sometimes” she said with a shrug, dramatically flinging the door open. Seeing its contents immediately sent her into another fit of giggles as she leaned into his body to prevent herself from falling over.

He stepped inside, seeing the way the green tiles reflected the candle light in such a soft and calming way. It was almost a recreation of the bathroom in the Slytherin dorms. The golden shower head, incased in glass instead of behind the normal curtain. But the same green tiles and snakelike artwork depicted about.

“I don’t know if I should be offended the room thinks I smell that awful, or if I should thank it for not making me track all the way down to the dungeons” he spoke, pulling her through the doorway with him. She looked up at him, longing in her eyes and he didn’t even question for a moment before slamming her backwards into the door.

The charged feeling from before coming back to the forefront of his mind as he pressed himself between her legs, pinning her into the back of the door which had only appeared moments ago. She moaned into his mouth at the shock of the contact, her hips coming up to meet his with the same fury.

Pulling his mouth from hers, he reconnected it on the pulse of her neck as she jokingly called out “I suppose that means you don’t care if I join you?”

“It’s been far too long since I have seen this beautiful body of yours” he said, sincerity peaking through the dominance in his tone. Usually he found himself in conflict with that side of himself, repressing it entirely in favor of savoring his time with her. However a pocket full of gold to effectively secure their future together, his ability to restrain the more animalistic tendencies was effectively lost.

Sebastian meant what he said, it had been since their moments in Feldcroft that they’d gone beyond kissing each other breathless or pawing over clothes. Occasionally he’d slip a cheeky hand around her bottom, giving her a squeeze to startle her, or she’d return the favor by sliding a hand under the untucked bottom of his button down. Once they had found themselves grinding their hips together while still clothed a few weeks back. That alone made him feel his manhood shake within the confines of his school trouser more than he cared to admit.

Acting now on almost two months worth of buildup, he carefully started to slide the sweater she wore up her torso. It had been one of his older sweaters, from his third year as a student, that he’d let her borrow one weekend they went home to visit Anne before he had work. She had found herself reaching for it most days, as it reminded her of him on the nights they couldn’t sleep together.

That had been another thing he had missed dearly. Occasionally they would slip away to the Room of Requirement, making a bundle of pillows on the floor and taking naps in each others arms. However a few hours here and there didn’t make up for the cold and lonely feeling he had most nights as he couldn’t get up the stairs to her dorm room and Ominis usually sounded the alarm when she tried to sneak up to his side. He had been utterly spoiled those few weeks in his home with her nestled in his arms, finding sleep more easily than he had in years. Without her, he was once again back to restless nights.

Sebastian couldn’t help but think that soon enough it wouldn’t be such a taboo to fall asleep with her on his chest, and wake up holding her in his arms. That wholesome thought was replaced with something much less innocent seeing his sweater fall to the ground and a small lace corset being the only thing she wore under it.

Letting out a groan he hooked his fingers around her waistband, turning her around slightly to get a better view in the dim lighting. Seeing the way the low lighting created such harsh contrast along the curves of her waist and chest made him groan.

“Why didn’t you tell me this was all that was under there” he chuckled against the skin of her right breast, releasing it before sucking one of her nipples into his mouth.

Breathlessly she giggled, “I thought it would be more fun to let you discover that yourself”

Releasing her, Sebastian stood back to his full height, looking down at her blushing face, smirk still lingering and dazed expression from both the alcohol and the feelings that so often accompanied their more intimate moments.

“So you planned this..” he teased, going to undo the buttons of his shirt as she leaned back against the wall for support, sliding her pants down her legs to reveal a thin pair of panties that matched. She nodded, almost responding to his metaphorical question by displaying the intimate clothing to him.

Upon seeing the matching set she’d donned his mouth fell open, and with that yet another laugh fell from her kiss swollen lips. He truly did love how utterly giggly she got when consuming alcohol. Some people were aggressive or depressive. However, every experience where he’d seen her drink she often became more affectionate towards him and more joyful, more carefree. He loved that side of her.

“Oh darling” he said, quickly stripping himself of the rest of his filthy uniform, throwing it to the floor, dragging her closer, once again reconnecting their mouths as he pushed her against the wall of the shower.

“I take it that you like it?” She smirked against his mouth as she pulled back just enough to mutter the words, then resume their ministrations.

Pulling away long enough to shove his underwear down to his feet, he quickly made his way to pulling hers down to join his. “I truly love it. However right now I think I’d like it better on the floor. Don’t you agree?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer before his skilled fingers removed the corset without much struggle, hand desperately reaching for the taps to turn on the water.

The first few seconds were cold, and she let out a shriek at the temperature.

“Don’t worry, I’ll warm you up” he growled into the skin of her neck, arms reaching around her from behind. His manhood stood at attention from the intensity they’d experienced, not quelled by the coldness of the water. Angling his hips, Sebastian allowed himself the pleasure of feeling the curve of her ass against his hard cock, as he pulled her closer.

Reaching up to slide her now wet hair over her shoulder, he kissed the nape of her neck, gently swaying in the water with her in his arms. She could feel the way he flexed his biceps around her, knowing she would be lying to say she hadn’t noticed the way his job had brought out even more broadness in his shoulders and arms. She loved seeing what labor continued to do to his body. Feeling it pressed so tightly against her now as his lips grazed her neck she couldn’t help by loudly moan out, sounds echoing off the tiles.

“What’s got you all worked up babygirl?” He smugly let out along her skin as he continued nibbling her nape. Reaching around, he let one of his hands slip down to her slick folds, lazily dragging his pointer and middle fingers through to collect her arousal.

Carefully turning her around with his other hand so that she faced him, he brought his hand up to his mouth, making direct eye contact while he brought her slick to taste on his tongue. He groaned out, eyes rolling back slightly as the hand still on her waist tightened.

“Fuck - I’ve missed having you on my tongue. So fucking sweet.”

She let out a gasp at his words, enjoying the way he looked down at her once he re-opened his eyes. The intensity of his arousal was apparent, but as was his adoration. Not that she differed, as she could feel herself mirroring him perfectly while she fell deeper into his beautiful mahogany eyes.

Sensing her swell of emotions , he stopped for a moment, fingers tracing lazy patterns in the skin of her waist.

“What’s on your mind, love?” He asked her, genuinely curious what had caused the soft expression to appear in her eyes.

“You are just so beautiful Sebastian” she said and he couldn’t help but be taken aback by the sincerity of her tone. Bringing his hand to push back his wet hair from his forehead as he bashfully looked down at their feet. He’d been many things in his life: loud, brash, unyielding, mischievous, and he figured just attractive enough to have secured himself alongside the most beautiful witch he’d known. While he was aware she found him to be handsome, he didn’t realize she felt quite so deeply for his outward qualities.

He had a long list of things he wasn’t thrilled about when it came to his appearance: the way his nose gave way to his round and flared nostrils, his smile which he felt often seemed awkward when he showed his teeth. He had always felt his freckles made him appear more boyish instead of the man he’d hoped to be. His long and thick eyelashes gave more of a feminine nature than he’d like. Whenever he dared to look in a mirror he often saw his flaws, sometimes glaringly obvious and other times as a distraction from how his face was slowly growing more and more into the features of Solomon and his father.

“I can’t imagine I am that much to look at Darling” he said with a sigh, head still hanging low. His eyes watched water droplets fall from the tile walls, trailing down to the drain under their feet. He felt himself in a trace watching until he felt fingertips lightly grazing his chin, encouraging him to look back up.

The look on her face as he did so made him feel as if she had ripped his heart open completely, forging her way inside and burning strongly within him such a bold and passionate love that would’ve made the poets jealous. She bore a light smile, just barely lifting the sides of her beautiful lips while her eyes looked right through him.

Using her other hand she started to trace her fingertips ever so lightly across his shoulders, as her eyes moved down to look at the lines she created on his body.

“You have really filled out working with Sirona” she barely whispered out, hands coming up to cup the now much more pronounced dip between his shoulder and bicep. Holding herself steady she resumed her gaze over him. Eyes studying him with wonder and what he could only describe as amazement. The childlike wonder in her eyes and soft hint of a smile at the corner of her lips

“How could one not love these beautiful freckles? The way they cover every inch of you… like the night sky… constellations to be studied all on their own. It’s like you are made of stardust Sebastian.” She said, fingers tracing from freckle to freckle along his shoulder and chest, mapping out shapes she saw along his skin. Carefully she brought herself onto the tips of her toes, hand holding his bicep tightening to maintain balance along the wet tiles, before lowering her lips onto a spot near his collarbone.

Orion. She spoke before laying another kiss to a spot closer to the center of his chest.

Capricornus. She continued laying slow, sensual kisses along his skin as she traced the well known constellations into his skin.

Draco. Leo. Pegasus. Gemini. Cetus.

You are more beautiful than the heavens...

He looked down in shock, not realizing he’d closed his eyes until he heard the last words she spoke. Sebastian felt his mouth go dry, seeing the way her beautiful eyes were lost in the sea of blemishes across his skin. Never in all his life had he known such care, such admiration, such love.

Unable to form proper words he allowed her to stroke his nose with her finger. Once again she rose, pressing a small kiss to the ball of his nose. Sebastian breathed in a shallow breath before quickly gripping her shoulders, as if the kiss broke him out of the trace he’d been in. Turning her around so that her back was pressed into his chest once more, he brought his fingers down to stroke her folds.

“Let me make you feel good. Please.” He barely managed to get out the words as he felt her nod against him.

He started tracing his fingers around her womanhood, teasingly avoiding the one spot he knew was sure to get a reaction. When she let out an almost annoyed whine at his chosen path of ministrations he chuckled.

“Sebastian please…” she barely managed to get out through gritted teeth.

He lowered his lips to her ear, dragging in the lobe gently before asking her “Please what? I am already touching you… is that not what you wanted? Wearing that skimpy set of undergarments under my sweater… I need to hear you ask. I need to hear you say how good only I can make you feel”

She wasn’t really sure what had come over him, to get him to speak to her this way, but she suddenly felt lightheaded and knew she couldn’t blame it on the butter beer.

“Only you make me feel this good Sebastian, only you” she whined out breathlessly.

He felt himself beginning to smirk into the skin of her neck, nipping it well enough to leave a small bruise. Before remembering she never properly answered his question.

“Where do you want me to touch you angel?” He hummed, eyelids growing heavy as his cock twitched against the curve of her ass. Feeling him against her, she ground it back onto him and he stifled out a groan, not wanting to give her control of the situation.

“That… spot… from last time” she heaved out through strangled breaths as he continued teasing her.

Bringing his pointer finger up slightly, he grazed her Pearl and she let out a whine, thrusting her hips forward chasing the contact.

“Right here?” He asked, applying more pressure and she nodded aggressively.

Still rubbing her, he decided to give up teasing her physically, opting instead to use his words.

“Is this where you touch yourself when you’re all alone my love?” Sebastian asked.

“Yes..” she choked out as she moaned.

“You know what it’s called don’t you..? This special spot of yours?” He teased but when he saw the expression of embarrassment on her face he kissed her cheek breaking his command for just a moment at her innocence.

“This,” he started with a stronger press against her “is your clitorus love… that spot that makes you come undone in the most beautiful of ways” he said instructing her. He found it cute that she wasn’t even fully aware of her own anatomy, and he’d only known having picked up a book on anatomy a few years back.

Once again he resumed softly circling it with his index finger, occasionally applying more pressure as she squirmed. The moment of innocence gone as she continued incoherent babbling at his moments.

“And what do you think of when you touch yourself here…?” He growled, rubbing his finger against her in fast tight circles.

“You… you Sebastian… I think of -“ she said struggling with words. He removed his fingers from her and once again she let out a whine. He felt bad for getting her wound up but he was dying to hear what she thought about when she touched herself to the thought of him.

“Tell me… what about me do you think of? What does your beautiful mind dream of me doing?”

Once again he laid his index finger ever so gently to her clit, holding it there but not moving it when he asked “do you think of me touching you here? Like I have been? Thinking of my hands instead of yours? Do you think of me rubbing fast little circles on this sensitive clit?”

She vigorously nodded trying to slightly press her hips into his hand for more friction and he smirked knowing she got off imagining his hands on her. However he wanted to know truly how deep the rabbit hole went…

Bringing his fingers down further he teased her opening with his fingertips as he asked “Do you think of me entering you here? Have you ever brought your fingers down to your hole, imagining it’s me that is working you open?” He said against the shell of her ear, finger tracing a circle around her rim.

Sebastian could feel the way it shifted in anticipation of him doing so, her opening almost shaking under his finger tip. In fact her whole body was shaking under his grasp as he tried to find restraint from just pushing his finger inside her to find out just how the inside of her walls would feel.

“Please let me touch you here. I want nothing more than to feel you around me, pulling me in… please let me make you feel good” he could almost feel himself growing needy from his request, slightly embarrassed at how much he needed to touch her in her most intimate part. He was worried for a moment about losing the control he seemingly had over her but when she called out, bucking her hips violently into him he regained that sense to claim her once more.

“Yes pleaseeee Sebastian '' she gave her permission, widening her legs as she looked over her shoulder at him in anticipation through lowered lashes.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise. Please let me know if you need me to slow down or if it hurts… I want to worship you.”

She nodded at him as he brought his other hand up to cup her cheek, pressing his lips to hers with a passionate kiss before pulling back. Something primal in him wanted to watch her expression as he set out to breach her wall for the first time, even if it was only with his index finger.

So he did just that. Bringing his finger up just enough to coat it in the slick that had made itself known in her folds he brought it back to her hole. Eyes fixed on hers, he ever so carefully slid it inside her. Her eyes grew wide at the intrusion but she made no attempts to stop him. As he entered her he became overwhelmed at how warm it felt wrapped around his finger. He could feel the way her cunt greedily seemed to pull him further inside as he pushed in until his palm rested flat against her mound of curls.

She sighed against him, leaning her head back on his shoulder as he stilled his finger inside her body, allowing her to adjust.

“How do you feel?” He asked her, nipping the bruise he’d already formed on her neck.

“Full” she whispered out, eyes trained to the ceiling. Hearing her admit that while he currently was pressed against her, finger deep inside her beautiful body brought back a ferioscity.

Sliding in and out partially, he would push it back in slowly as he began to fuck her with his finger. She began rutting against his hand as he brought his other hand up sliding it around to play with her breasts. In doing so he pulled her even closer into his frame, his dick painfully hard and throbbing against her.

“Imagine how full you would be with my cock in you.” He hissed in her ear and he picked up the pace.

“So full Sebastian” she all but wailed.

“You’d look so full babygirl, and so very pretty stuffed to the brim with me. Can’t you feel it? Feel how much it wants to be inside this warm, wet cunt of yours?” He purred in her ear, intentionally pressing his dick into her backside more.

She didn’t respond with words but he felt the way her inner walls contracted around his finger before he slowed enough to add a second one. She shuddered at the feeling of being stretched wider but didn’t speak as he continued.

“Do you ever think of what it would be like for me to actually enter you in that way? Tell me sweet girl. Please. I need to hear you tell me how good I’m making you feel. How good you would feel if I claimed you as mine…”

“It feels so good… yes I think about you being inside here when I’m alone… you make me feel like I’m coming apart at the seams” she barely managed to indulge his lust hazed demands as he once again picked up the pace.

“Good. I also think about how wonderful it will feel when I finally enter this tight little hole… how beautiful you’ll look wrapped around me. How loud I could make you sing when I’m making you feel good. How gorgeous you’d look full of my cum…” at this point he was just incoherently letting all the thoughts he kept locked inside his brain spill out, but she didn’t care. In fact, upon hearing such lude comments she was shocked to feel herself throbbing under the intensity of it all.

“You’re going to look absolutely divine when I pump my children into you… ethereal when you safely carry them within you, right here…” he said, moving his left hand over her womb, softly stroking it.

Her eyes snapped open at how openly he was acknowledging his animalistic desire to give her children. Bringing her hand up she kept his hand pressed tightly to her stomach, a loud moan escaping her as she allowed his words to give her the glorious mental picture he was painting.

“You like that? Want me to give you a little Sallow?” He bucked his hips into her once more, his tip sliding between her cheeks and he kept going.

“YES” she screamed as she approached that feeling she had the first time he’d made her release.

“Who’s making you feel this good? Tell me!” He demanded it of her.

“You are! Sebastian I -“ she started to speak but he rocked into her with his hips pressing her tighter against him with the arm still around her waist. Deciding to curl his fingers to stroke the sides of her wall he was pleasantly surprised at her reaction. She let out a scream, body tightening around him as she slumped in his arms for a moment. Her labored breath only stirred him on more.

Slowly sliding off his fingers, she turned around to face him. The look in her eyes of longing made him ponder the honest words he’d spoken. She should’ve slapped him for being so crass, but instead she surprised him by sliding to her knees.

Lifting his cock in her hands. He was prepared for her to touch him, similar to how she’d done in the bath on his birthday. However when she tentatively brought her lips around the head of his prick he couldn’t help but fall back into the wall, as he slipped from her mouth.

“Shit!” He hissed, watching as she looked up at him with such a doe like expression, following him by crawling on her knees to once again place him inside her warm mouth.

The feeling of her mouth around his manhood was very similar in feeling to what her pussy felt like around his fingers. Given what he’d just done he knew he wouldn’t last long.

She wasn’t exactly sure what she was doing but tried to replicate the way she stroked him with her hand using her mouth. Pressing him further inside she gagged a little and he let out a groan as she did. The feeling of him hitting her gag reflex, caused her to accidentally shift her teeth, causing him some discomfort feeling them graze his shaft.

She pulled back apologetically, ready to ask what she should do when he encouraged her to keep going.

“So good… doing so good for me. My goddess.” He spoke and she took that as a sign to continue, trying to tease his shaft with her tongue this time.

Sebastian seemed to really have enjoyed it because his mouth kept spewing the filth he’d been mumbling for the duration of their activity.

“Fuck… going to make you my wife…Then I’m going to keep pumping you full of my brown eyed babies… would you like that?” he asked.

When she nodded her head to answer his question he twitched inside her mouth as he grabbed her hair, pushing her down in the same manor.

“Again, do that again please” his voice went thick with need and she replicated the movement again, discovering a slight taste of salt in her mouth as he leaked precum from his tip.

“I’m going to, agh I need to finish-“ he spoke as a warning for her to pull back but when she hollowed her cheeks attempting to suck in a breath he spilled in her mouth.

At first she tried to swallow his load but became overwhelmed about halfway through, pulling off his cock as he finished spilling his load in her face, lips and into her hair.

“Shit! I am so sorry darling, come here” he said once he came down enough to see her looking up at him, his release in her wet hair and all over her face.

He lifted her gently off the floor of the shower, hands lifting to wipe himself away from her pretty face. As he did so she raised a hand to stroke his cheek similarly to how he was cleaning her.

“I didn’t mean to -“ he tried to explain, grimacing as he saw the way his cum clung to her hair, but she stopped him by bringing a finger to his lips.

“It’s okay Love”, she paused before giggling and continuing “I thought it was sexy that you filled me in some way…” she said her eyes trailing off with a newfound shyness

Contemplating his words he finished cleaning her face, turning her around some so he could wash her hair as well. She hummed as he did so, soaking up the affection and still feeling the bliss that came after moments like this.

When he finished, Sebastian wrapped his arms around her, his chin resting on her shoulder.

“Did you mean it?” He asked quietly

“Which part?” She hummed

“Well… all of it, but specifically the part about the stars?” He questioned.

“Of course.” She said sternly, hoping he could believe her.

Kissing her shoulder he replied “then you’re my goddess… and you belong in the heavens… next to me.”

Turning around in his arms she kissed him deeply, hands raising to brush his hair off his face like she’d done so many times before.

“And you can be my home. My light. My stardust.”

To be continued…

[mzannthropy]

The Count of Monte Cristo 2024

I said I was going to make a post on this, so *gestures here*.

As a film it is truly amazing, beautiful cinematography, it's worth watching just for how pretty it is. Nice costumes, and the musical score is good too. Pierre Niney is brilliant as the titular hero. As an adaptation, though, it doesn't quite deliver. Much better than the 2002 film, but that means the total sum of pick any number times zero.

Spoilers under the cut.

The whole film takes place in France (Marseille and Paris), and apart from Edmond finding the treasure on the Monte Cristo island, we don't set a foot in Italy. (Side note, he throws a torch into a hole, which, upon landing, reveals the treasure, but it's never shown how he actually managed to get down there to obtain it.)

Fernand is once again Edmond's friend. He is de Morcerf from birth and lives in a nice mansion; old Dantes is employed as a servant. This makes Mercedes noble too.

There's no Noirtier, instead Villefort has a Bonapartist sister, Angele. And you know what, I actually liked this change. In the scene where she comes to Villefort's house, she looks really badass, a bit like Anne Bonny, the pirate queen. Villefort is not getting married, but he has a mistress, whose name is Victoria and who is pregnant (and who later becomes Madame Danglars).

At the beginning of the film, Edmond saves Angele from drowning. Angele has the compromising letter on her, which is seized by Danglars, at this time the captain of the ship. When Morrel hears Danglars would have let a woman drown, the strips him of captaincy and appoints Edmond as a captain. It's the only scene we see Morrel in, and we see a little Maximilien, who is his grandson here, however, Maximilien never shows up again. It would have been better had they not bothered with him in the first place, it's more upsetting to see him wasted than not to see him at all.

Pierfrancesco Favino is so good as abbe Faria. It was neat of them to cast an actual Italian to play the role. He looks the part, also he's the right type of mad (after so many years at Chateau d'If, though I think Faria was always a bit mad, in a mad scholar way). The scene where they first meet, Edmond falls into his arms, laughing and crying at the same time and it's honestly so emotional. Brilliant acting.

Faria, like in the 2002 film, dies in a cave in, but I think that's actually a better choice for a film, easier to do than a lengthy explaining of an obscure illness.

After his escape, Edmond simply walks onto a dry land, stealing a shirt from a washing line in the process. The smugglers don't appear in the film. Neither do the brigands, for that matter. (In fact, no Italian characters made it.)

I will say this in favour of the film, all three antagonists are well developed. Villefort seems to have married later, but his wife takes no part in the story. One of the best scenes was the dinner party at the house in Auteil, where the count tells the story of the buried baby. Poor Madame Danglars is close to breaking down and Villefort is sweating from head to toe. It feels truly gothic.

Caderousse is in the film, he was the quartermaster of the ship. Edmond goes to him first and gives him the gem; later he is shown to lead a group of bandits? or robbers?, but nothing more is shown of him and I'm not sure what the writers were trying to do with him.

Eugenie appears very little only, but she does appear and is a lesbian (though her gf is called Suzanne, not Louise).

They worked in the count's disguises; abbe Busoni appears, so does Lord Halifax, who I take is supposed to be Lord Wilmore. (The scene with Lord Halifax is really funny.) The count uses actual masks for his disguises. (He uses a mask for his Monte Cristo persona as well. I wish he didn't.)

Lord Halifax publishes a tabloid in France, reporting the fake news of Danglars's ships being lost, which is how he eventually gets him.

The above mentioned Angele is the one who digs up and saves Villefort and Victoria's baby. This was a change I also liked, personally, it avoids some of the coincidences from the book. Poor Angele doesn't meet a nice end, but the count visits her on the death bed where she tells him the story. He then goes and gets the baby, now a young man named Andre and takes him under his wing. (This is the scene from the trailer, where Andre asks "who are you" and the count, answers "I am the count of Monte Cristo", it's the first time we hear him use this title.) Andre is to help the count carry out his revenge, adopting the identity of Andrea Cavalcanti.

Haydee and Andrea plot together with the count, in a heist-like fashion. It's cool and all that, however it's too major of a change for me to be able to just accept it. Over the years, I have become more relaxed about book to screen adaptations, but there are limits. This is one of them. It goes against everything the count is. It's like Jacopo in the 2002 movie, fun to watch, but the count doesn't do friends. He works on his own and doesn't rely on anyone else. That's one thing.

Another thing is: Albert. I hated the casting choice. Nothing against the actor, he was just not a good pick for Albert. He looks like a "softboi" if I get the label right, tall and thin and has blond angelic curls and looks like he would get knocked down by a stronger wind. That's not Albert. Nothing about him screams hold-my-beer-while-I-do-something-stupid himbo. They may as well have cast Timothee Chalamet (I mean, he's part French, isn't he? And at least has dark hair.) Then--and I knew this from the reviews so thankfully was prepared--the count makes Haydee seduce Albert, which she does, and then she falls for him for real. Like, okay, I think it's an idea worth exploring (falling in love with a son of the man who betrayed your father, which resulted in you being sold into slavery), but it needs proper time and effort to develop. It's got to either be another story of its own, or be a part of limited series. It looks like the screenwriters, giving Maximilien and Valentine the chop, still wanted their star-crossed lovers, so they did Haydee x Albert instead. I think some of Albert's lines were taken from Maximilien in the book. And we're just expected to believe that Haydee has fallen in love with Fernand's son, without her showing any conflict over her feelings. A walking dry white slice of bread of a man, who do you think Haydee is, Katniss fucking Everdeen? I'd sooner buy that she was in love with Andrea. She is certainly fond of him and is devastated by his death--he gets shot after stabbing Villefort.

Haydee is also angry at Edmond when Albert challenges him to a duel. Why, I can't answer--it was Albert who threw the glove. The duel does go ahead, though the night before, Mercedes comes to Edmond to plead for her son's life, and says the same line as in the book ("Edmond, you will not kill my son."). Edmond shoots away from Albert on purpose, then Albert raises his gun and stars crying. It was not shown exactly whether he fired or not, but obvs they both survived. The real Albert would not hesitate to shoot. Like I said, a complete milksop.

So anyway, Haydee and Albert run away together, with the count's blessing, Mercedes leaves Fernand and Fernand comes to confront Edmond and they have a sword fight. Haydee doesn't even get to accuse him!

The film ends with Edmond sailing away on his own, and Mercedes reading his letter. Although the letter includes the words "wait and hope", it doesn't quite land the same. The phrase was never used in the film previously.

It's open to interpretation whether they get together later or not.

I wonder if they made Mercedes a noblewoman bc they wanted to give her a nicer ending. She has a stronger network to fall back on after everything goes down. But idk, honestly, I might be wrong. I don't really care, tbh. I care more about the fact that abbe Faria was completely forgotten after Edmond found the treasure.

One last tidbit: there is a guard? a butler? working for the count, who looks a bit sinister (in a good way!) and I thought it was maybe their version of Ali. (I think he may have been of North African origin, though I might have got it wrong and will get in trouble now.) But the count called him Jacopo.

So yeah, that is that.

[mask131]

I was chatting with themousefromfantasyland about the Olympic Games and you know, I do have something to point out that people not in France might not know about.

More precisely we were chatting about the situation with the river Seine. Part of the reason Hildago's government focused so much on the Seine, outside of it being - you know - one of the emblems of Paris, is also tied to her project's of sanitizing the Seine. [Note: warning, I will throw it all at the head of Anne Hildago. Maybe there are other authorities beyond her and her city-government involved in this matter, but honestly I don't care, she is a very bad mayor and might have been one of the worst mayors of Paris in modern day, and I don't like the woman, and it isn't the first time she screwed up with poorly-thought if not idiotic plans. So she'll be my go-to culprit for the sake of this post]

Because the Seine, despite being THE most iconic river of France, the heart of Paris, such an important part of the city's culture, a crucial part of its tourism industry, and one of the reasons the city got its official motto - is also dreadfully polluted, and one of the most polluted bodies of water of France. Hidalgo, who was always involved in ecological concerns and in "making Paris great again", decided that for the Olympics the Seine would be cleansed - at least enough for the Olympic athletes to be able to swim in there. She even vowed that she would take a swim in it herself before the Olympics to prove how clean it all became.

Problem is, Hidalgo is the living embodiment of something that has been unfortunately very prevalent with left-oriented politicians in France: vapid ecology. Good intentions, well-meaning projects, but behind it, it is all just superficial and empty. And the Seine purification example is such a great demonstration of this: she literaly thought that by throwing enough money and machines at the Seine, she would be able to clean it up before the Olympics. We are talking of cleaning up in a few months DECADES AND DECADES if not CENTURIES of pollution caused by an enormous city. Hidalgo literaly thought "It's fine, we will just wipe this pesky little problem in a jiffy, and I am so confident that this pollution problem is not a big deal that I will bet France's international reputation on that".

Of course, I can tell you that Hildago did took her swim - but only at the very last minute because, as it turned out, cleaning the Seine took much more time, money and effort than originally planned... and it wasn't even done! First they realized it would take more time than planned, then there was the whole fight between the Paris town hall (which claimed the waters had been purified and cleaned) and the outside health organizations (who claimed the waters would still make people who plunged in them sick), and then of course the RAINS! We are living one of the rainiest summers France knew in a long time, and of course no matter how much Hidalgo's projects clean up the Seine, with each new rain it is polluted again and everybody has to start over. Everybody in France is joking about how the Olympic swimmers will grow a third eye.

That's what I call a "vapid ecologism" - because Hildago clearly never cared very much before about cleaning the Seine, now, did she? She was there for quite a long time but oh, turns out she only puts the big guns and the big money when the Olympic games are arriving. She literaly thinks that a problem that will require years and years of hard work can just go away in a few months? Because it is a very, VERY deep and systemic problem, this Seine pollution, that requires re-organizing PARIS ITSELF!

Right now, all the news are talking about how trainings and trials are currently being pushed back because the Seine waters are, again, polluted after the rain of the opening ceremony, and people are wondering if all the games planned to take place in the Seine (instead of an Olympic pool) won't be cancelled. As such, experts talk more and more about the why and how of this pollution that won't go away, and do you want to know the fun thing? One of the main reasons rains keep polluting the Seine is because the Parisian water-evacuation system is very flawed. There are many, many "wrongs turns", purposefully created or accidentally made, that mix together the evacuation of the rain water and the evacuation of the used waters. When Hidalgo's team decided to finally get their ass on the problem, they identified roughly 23 000 "wrong turns", and by the end of their operation they claimed to have treated 80 percent of them... But what their project and investigations revealed - and that's something so typical of Parisian businesses - that there were MUCH MORE wrong turns than everybody believed. How much? Oh just between 60... AND 120 000 WRONGS TURNS! The entire system is to be remade, and them fixing 80 percent of a meager 23 000 turns when there might be up to 120 000... Yeah it is a speck of dust in a pile of sand.

However I don't want to JUST speak about the Seine. The thing my discussion made me realize is that the Seine situation is just a repetition of EVERYTHING that has been happening with the Olympic Games, and I couldn't help but draw a parallel with another scandalous business related to the organization of these games, though a scandal that has been smothered by the actuality and likely will only pop back up once everything is over. The homeless scandal.

Paris is filled with homeless people. It is a fact, and that's one of the things I myself is always shocked by every time I go to Paris, the amount of homeless people I met. Or rather that I used to meet, because of course, with the Olympics arriving, the cities were "cleaned" up and the hobos removed! I hear you gasp in shock but don't worry, it was actually done in a quite nice and humane way! I mean it: there were empty buildings and vacant lots refurbished into lasting shelters for the duration of the Olympic Games. There were all those little flats prepared for the homeless people to live for free - very tiny, and with just the bare minimum to have a decent life, but you know, it is much better than just being in the street. It doesn't remove all of the homeless people and it doesn't solve their situation, but you know, at least it is an actual improvment and a humane gesture.

Now, take a wild guess: are they going to make it last beyond the Olympic Games? Come on, we are talking about Parisian government, and about Hidalgo's team! Of course not! Once the games are over and everything has been removed, all the homeless people from those buildings will be kicked back in the street, and the shelters will turn into something else. And they were told so the minute they entered their new little temporary homes. Because again, Hidalgo's point is all about cleaning up Paris before the entire world takes a look at it. Not solving Paris problem, just making it look good for the international event.

The Seine, the homeless people - it is all the same. It is a well-meaning project poorly thought by people not actually caring about it, it is a lot of excellent effort not made to last but just to impress, it is a deep and systematic problem that they think they can wipe out in a few months, it is just putting silk paperwall over a rotten, fractured stone ; it is just hiding the dust under the rug, empty humanitarianism, vapid ecologism, fake kindness motived by a good will so detached from reality it becomes as arrogant as absurd. Forcing athletes to swim in a polluted and diseased river because you can't force yourself to admit your town has a problem ; offering with hypocrisy a home to the poor only to plan to throw them back into their misery just because nobody will be looking anymore...

[dontlookheswatching]

I wanna randomly ramble about my main au regarding ships real quick.

TRIGGER WARNING, PLEASE NOTE THAT I MENTION THINGS LIKE ABUSE, RAPE, ALCOHOL AND DRUG ABUSE!! Please don't read if these things upset you! I want everyone to be safe, so if any of this is triggering, this is to tell you to scroll by!

I'm a multishipper, I've stated this on my blog before, I ship practically everything if I see it a certain way. But lore wise when it comes to my blog, relationships are specific. I might post a relationship chart one day, but basically, I have main ships, and then I have like a billion little side ships I enjoy but they wont make a big appearance on this blog unless they're random doodles unrelated to the lore, or part of a ramble or reblog. Im gonna list examples of each so people know what to expect in future posts where some of these ships are featured. If you want to unfollow me for some of these, I'm not stopping you, I'd highly encourage doing so if any of these ships make you uncomfortable, because I don't want anyone to stay on my blog if it brings discomfort.

Several main ships I have that'll be featured perhaps the most are ones like Jeff x Ben, which if not already obvious is the main relationship that'll be focused on. Another is Tim x Toby, they're both adults in my au, I do not support pedophilia whatsoever and if need be I have aged up characters to avoid this. Lastly, I have Liu x Eyeless Jack. I honestly dont know why I started shipping it but its really cute to me and it stuck and they're very dear to me. These three are perhaps the ships that'll be featured the most, but I'm having a brain fart like always and I'm already forgetting my own ships-😭

These are ships that'll be in the blog as well but they aren't as big and focused on. A example to start off with is Jane x Clockwork. I know, canonly, Jane is married to Mary, and I love that, but this is my own personal au so things are different, although in my heart Jane and Mary are definitely on top, and I might do doodles of them from time to time. Another example is Nina x everyone. No, not literally. She just has crushes that come and go ALL the time, and she flirts with everyone, so often to where no one questions it anymore. She had a Jeff arc and got over him and now she's living her life how SHE wants to. A few more include Nurse Ann x Judge Angels, Hobo Heart x Cody/X-Virus, Lost Silver x Glitchy Red, Jason the Toymaker x The Puppeteer, and Kate x Rogue. I have many more, but for now, I'm gonna explain the ones already listed since a few might seem really random. For Angels and Ann, Im just gonna admit, I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers or people who act like they hate each other but they secretly love each other deep down. For Hobo and Cody, in my au, they're both huge loners, and we're paired in a mission once. It was very awkward but the more they talked the more they realized they had a lot in common. I love them. Theres more lore to the reason I've paired Silver and Red together, but to sum it up, Silver had a massive crush on Ben, but Ben has his eyes set on Jeff and didn't return the feelings, and I didn't want Silver to be sad and alone his whole life, plus, they're dynamic is adorable. Sad pessimistic person x person who has seen whats under the sadness and admires them anyways. For Jason and Puppeteer, i saw a cosplay with them on tiktok and I couldn't help myself, I caved immediately. And lastly for Kate and Rogue I realized their characters have several things in common and I realized they'd probably get along pretty well.

Now, for side ships, I won't give an explanation, this ramble is already longer than planned. Im just gonna throw them out there with no context. EJ x Ben, Ben x Lost Silver, Nina x Kate, Tim x Brian, Tim x Jay, Jay x Alex(Yes some other marble hornet characters may be featured in the blog or in doodles), Jessica x Amy, Toby x EJ, Liu x Ben, and many MANY more, too many to state here.

Now that its out there, I wanna real quick talk about something I've reblogged a few days ago. Just because they're bad people who have done bad things, it doesn't mean they dont deserve love or happiness. Plus, the majority of these creeps were people who were wronged time and time again until they were pushed over the edge, it probably definitely wasn't something they had planned out since they were like 3. Now, despite this, some of them definitely aren't the best lovers to have, like Jeff, because again, these are murders and deranged killers. This is a super dark confession but theres A LOT of lore between Ben and Jeff in my au where things were AWFUL for them because Jeff couldn't get a grip on himself for the longest time. He's not like that anymore, and things are MUCH better for the both of them, but they definitely had an era in their relationship where things were beyond toxic. Beyond toxic as in Jeff was incredibly abusive, physically and mentally, and had a MAJOR alcohol addiction, and even proceeded to get Ben addicted to drugs at some point, sometimes going as far as raping him when he did not give consent. I won't give away too many details, but I will say, again, this is in the past and they've both healed over their traumas and managed to get through it together, and are in a much better state(A lot of breaking up and getting back together happened throughout this 'toxic era' though, and even after healing, theres still minor problems that I will not elaborate, they will be found out throughout the blog and maybe hints in some doodles.) But this is a good example of what a realistic relationship in this fandom with Jeff might look like. But just because people are deranged and definitely not mentally stable, it doesn't mean they can't try to change, and it definitely doesn't mean they dont deserve love unless they're as bad as Jeff was but with no intentions to change.

Im always happy to further explain any of this, but I will not tolerate harassment for the things I like. But anyways yeah thats my whole thing on ships im gonna go cry over my broken apple pencil now

-Max❤

[lizzy-bonnet]

Austenian Dads

A recent post about mothers-in-law by @bethanydelleman had me thinking about the dads in Jane Austen. We get a lot of discourse about mothers and mother figures, who have big, important roles in the stores, but her depictions of fatherhood are interesting too. Here, in my opinion, are the dads and dad-like figures in her novels, ranked from best to worst.

(note: I've left out deceased and barely-there dads, but I will note that Mr. Dashwood's attempt to look out for his daughters, and the amount of grief occasioned by his death, indicate that he is a Top Dad.)

Mr. Musgrove - Notwithstanding "poor Richard", Mr. Musgrove has three reasonably well-adjusted adult children, seems to love his younger children, and goes to his daughter's bedside when she is injured. His children all make Sensible Matches, and he likes kids enough to permit the little Harvilles to be brought back to Uppercross to increase its noise. He folds my beloved Anne into his family and treats her affectionately whenever she is with them. By the standards of the day, he seems pretty solid. 8/10 Least Bad Dad.

Sir John Middleton - Like Mr. Musgrove, Sir John is a people person. His immediate and unreserved adoption of the Dashwoods in their hour of need tells us that he is an unambiguously good-hearted person, which usually leads to loving parenting. His kids are young so we don't see him interacting much with them, but his desire to give everyone a nice time bodes well. He doesn't notice when his teasing goes to far. 7/10 definitely tells the same dad joke over and over.

Mr. Bennet - As a reader I love him because he's pithy, but he's honestly not a great dad, and is not modeling a happy marriage for his daughters. He shows favouritism to Lizzy, lets Lydia run wild, is hurtful towards Mary and Kitty, and fails to save up any money to bribe worthless young men to marry his daughters. 5/10 for putting all his eggs in the "having a son" basket and then doing nothing when the handle on the basket breaks.

Lt. Price - Loud, embarrassing, shiftless. Ignores his daughters but seems to maybe do OK with his sons? 3.5/10, tops.

Sir Walter Elliot - This fucking guy, am I right? He's vain, he's self-obsessed, he's a spendthrift, and he's a dreadful parent. His eldest daughter is his favourite and he basically forgets Anne and Mary exist when they're not directly in front of him (and sometimes doesn't notice them even when they are). His favouritism has damaged Anne and Mary in different ways to Mr. Bennet's to his younger daughters, but the source is the same: he has one child who is like him and others that he doesn't click with, so he basically lets them shift for themselves. In the Elliot household I'm certain this means that sensitive Anne was left to grieve her mother without any comfort from her father. It's no wonder she was ready to marry the first loving man she saw. When he sees her looking well, he thinks it's down to her skin care regimen. 3/10 merely Gowland's.

Sir Thomas Bertram - Poor Fanny, her father figures are both the pits. Sir Thomas knows absolutely zero about what any of his kids are like and can't see how bad Aunt Norris's influence is on all of them. He swings wildly between neglectful and overbearing, and then tries to pressure Fanny into marrying Henry Crawford despite his attentions making her visibly miserable. He also knows perfectly well that Fanny is shy, and yet does not give her any warning that he's throwing a ball for her coming out, plus he sends her home to Portsmouth as a sort of weirdo punishment to make her see what she's missing by not marrying Henry. 2/10 points and he really only gets these for 1. offering to free Maria from her engagement and 2. getting a fire in Fanny's grate, even if he left it until WAY too late to do her much good.

General Tilney - the closest Austen gives us to a villainous parent. The General is dictatorial to his children, oppressive around the house and occasionally creepy towards Catherine. This is made apparent by the fact that the Abbey suddenly becomes much more fun when he goes off to London. He shows himself the ultimate Bad Dad by tossing his daughter's friend out of the house without explanation and hardly the resources to get herself home. 0/10 Gothic Tyrant Dad.