#honestly this one gonna take me a bit to get to 5 star

[ink--theory]

the trifecta is almost complete :]

[kingkat12]

fuck-me eyes and first times (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, loss of virginity, inexperienced sex?, oral sex (female receiving), mutual masturbation, awkward real moments lol, dry-humping, use of contraceptives, drunk driving, Roman using his powers for good?, blood, FLUFF, a dash of angst

summary: you've been unlucky with your first times all your life-- but tonight, you're sleeping with the equivalent of your shooting star.

word count: 12,140 (i love you guys, do u see)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11

a/n: FINALLY THEY’RE FUCKING ISTG?? tihiii this is a bit of a different chapter!! i'm dead tired of reading smut where everything goes perfectly the first time and they barely communicate, so hopefully this will be a bit more realistic (hopefully!!) sorry for the wait, and hope you enjoy!!!!!!;)

The first time I broke a bone, I kicked my foot into the wall in a fit of rage.

The first time I got an A on a test, I cheated by writing the answers under my skirt. 

And the first time I lost a friend? That was the story of how I got here in the first place.

To say my track record for first times was bad, was an understatement. I didn't see myself as an angel of the world. However, as I glanced to the side for a brief moment at an intersection, I looked directly at the man who'd often joke he was the devil. Roman had spread out in the passenger seat, still a little drunk as his long legs rested against the dashboard. It didn't matter how many times I told him to take them down, that if I were to crash his car he'd fold in two and die-- he didn't care. 

We were still a little intoxicated from the party, but I was in a better condition than him, which was why I was driving; something he'd never let me do if he wasn't in this state. Roman's head lolled back against his seat, his eyes closing as he hummed along to the music. Space Song by Beach House was always my favorite song to drive to at night, and I was glad he seemed to like it as well.

The first time I heard this song, I had been driving home after getting introduced to Letha at a party. I was over the moon, happy to have finally found a person in this wretched town that I could enjoy the company of. I had been so dreadfully bored of all the others. 

Letha was a good hugger. A good listener-- never scared to tell the truth, especially as we grew closer.

"Roman is my baby cousin, I love him to death, but damn he can be annoying," she had said, smiling at me as she leaned against the kitchen counter. "The amount of friends I have lost to him is just crazy. Every single one seems to fall over like dominoes whenever he's around, and honestly? I don't get it. Maybe it's because we're related and all, but there has to be a fucking limit to how many times something like this can happen? How many times can he sleep with my friends and get away with it? Him doing that is the same as me sleeping with Peter, it's just not okay! I would never fucking do that! This situation is becoming hysterical, to be honest."

I remember frowning-- "Hysterical?"

"Yeah... If I wasn't so pissed at him, I'd just laugh at the absurdity," Letha's green eyes remained kind despite the heaviness of the topic. "But at the end of the day, I'm glad I get to keep you to myself. My previous friends were nothing compared to you."

Letha's words were sweet, but something felt off. I smiled as I spoke, hoping to keep my query a light one; "What do you mean, keep me to yourself? Gonna chain me up, Letha?" I gave her shoulder a nudge as she laughed. 

"Not like that, you freak! I mean that Roman doesn't seem interested in you at all, so I feel safe that you'll stay. And if he were to be, you'd never do anything like that to me," She put away her empty can of beer, and something in her eyes shifted just a smidge-- I wouldn't have caught it if my senses hadn't been sharpened by the mention of his lack of interest in me. 

"... Right?" Letha asked, urging a response. It seemed to dawn on her that she sounded on the brink of bitterness, and she broke out into an even wider smile to compensate; "You don't seem like the type to sleep with my cousin, but maybe I'm wrong?"

"Never," was what I had answered that night.

Never... Gosh, I was delusional to think I could behave. 

Once again, I glanced at Roman at the next red light, watching the way one strand of hair strayed from his stylings and laid in a soft wave over his forehead. He opened his big, green eyes, smirking as he realized he was being watched-- "Eyes on the road,"

It was embarrassing how fast I blushed. I quickly nodded, gripping the steering wheel harder as I fixated on the red light above us. "Was it the next intersection I needed to get off on?" I asked, hoping not to linger on the subject of my peeking. "Could you maybe turn on the GPS on my phone just in case you fall asleep?"

"I'm not sleeping," Roman prompted, holding out his hand to take my phone.

As I reached for it in my back pocket, I felt it vibrate as the lights turned green. I gave Roman my phone, in a rush to not miss the light even though we were the only ones on the highway. "Who's calling?" 

Roman didn't answer me-- I pieced together who it was when he started greeting my mom.

Oh no. 

I freed one hand from the steering wheel, trying to get a hold of my phone as Roman quietly laughed at my attempt. I didn't succeed; "Yeah, she's here," he said, grinning as he motioned for me to keep driving. "I hoped to have her stay over at my place tonight, as my mother is desperate to meet your lovely daughter."

I rolled my eyes, mouthing a simple fuck you. Roman had to bite down on his lip to suppress a laugh-- we both knew his mom was out of town and that his intentions were far from anything as pure as to introduce me to her. 

My mom seemed flustered by his pleasantries on the other side of the phone, but I couldn't make out the specifics of what she was saying. It didn't sound like she was objecting, though. 

Roman nodded along as he turned down the music on the stereo and (finally) removed his legs off the dashboard. "No, of course, I wouldn't dream of giving your daughter any alcohol! Yes-- Yes, we were at a party just now, but we're both sober as rocks!" He glanced at me, mischief dancing in the green of his eyes.

The look on his face now was priceless. Although he was lying to my mom right up her face (her ear?), he still looked damn charming as always.

"Uh-huh..." Roman mumbled, now reciting his phone number at her request. "We'll probably be up having dinner, so you can call me anytime if you have any questions!-- Yes, I know it's late to have dinner, but my mother is European like that. Your daughter is in good hands, don't worry!"

I rolled my eyes once more, knowing how fond my mom was of him and how easily she'd eat all of this up. When Roman finally got off the call, he broke out into a string of laughter-- "Your mom is so damn sweet, but I can tell she's terrified we'll have sex. It seems you've taken after her,"

"I'm not terrified!" I whined, turning left to get off the highway.

He snorted; "I was two seconds away from telling her I have a stash of condoms, and that she shouldn't worry about having to take care of a mini-me when you leave for college,"

I did my best not to blush-- this conversation was getting more and more suggestive. "Shut up," I mumbled. "I'm not terrified."

Roman's eyes softened as he sat back in his seat and watched me drive his car. I knew I was giving away my true feelings regarding the matter with the way I was anxiously tapping my fingers against the steering wheel. I continued; "I just had you locked in a closet trying to convince you I'm not. It's not that big of a deal,"

"Relax, I'm just teasing you," Roman ran his fingers through his hair, gazing into the rearview mirror to check how messed up it had gotten. His red car had an open roof, after all. He sighed, trying to choose his next words wisely. "Not a big deal, you say?"

"Well..." I was unsure whether to be honest or not.

Roman nodded, looking out at all the trees passing us by. His silence was unnerving, and I turned up the music to tune it out. I couldn't stand this. Something in him switched; Maybe he was upset that I said it wasn't a big deal? Or maybe he was realizing it was a big deal to him? I needed to change the subject; "This is the right direction, no? I feel like I'm just driving deeper into the forest--"

"I've never told you this, but after the first time we kissed, I kept having the same dream where never left the seven minutes in heaven closet," Roman placed his head in the palm of his hand as he leaned his elbow against the car door, sighing. "Over and over, every night. Nearly drove me mad. And in the dream, there were no seven minutes, no time limit. So it was just you and I, and we were going at it like fucking crazy."

I held my breath, my eyes widening further with every sentence. What? Was he drunk-rambling or was this something else?

Roman sighed again, attempting to relax as he closed his eyes and stilled in his seat. Like this, I could nearly mistake him for being asleep. "It all started with me wanting to fuck you," he mumbled. "But every night, at the end of the dream, I got greedy... Because suddenly, I also wanted you to love me." 

Had I not been good at keeping calm, I would've probably crashed the car into the nearest tree. I didn't get much time to process, to feel the weight of his confession, until Roman snapped out of it like a character taken straight out of an animation, now sitting up; "Turn here,"

I drove up to a huge gate, stopping the car as I tried to steady my breathing. "Roman--"

"Two seconds," he said, getting out of the car to walk up to the intercom. He was as good as normal now.

I was left still gripping the steering wheel for dear life, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to find the right words. I watched as Roman typed in a code, and the massive gate slowly opened as he jumped back into the car. 

My breath was still held in my chest as I turned to him, eyes wider than plates of expensive china. 

Roman glanced back at me with an innocent smile; the mood had completely switched. "Breathe," he cooed, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "It's just a mansion." With a sharp intake of air, he glanced at the backseat and the crumbled-up hot pink crop top we had brought with us (stolen, actually) from the party-- "A mansion with a possibility to put that anomaly in the fucking laundry."

I turned towards it as well, returning to my mind at the sight of the obnoxious colour of the top-- Knowing I had made him cum into the fabric of it merely an hour ago still felt like a triumph.

... Was it maybe my turn, now?

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And he was right-- this was an absolute castle of a house. I had suppressed the truth about Roman's wealth for as long as I could, not wanting to think about it in case my mind went haywire about it, but now it was smacking me in the face.

Still, Roman's hand on the small of my back was a comfort as he led me through the mansion on the most impromptu show-around I've ever witnessed. "This is the room where I learned how to shoot darts," he mumbled, pointing at the small dents in the wall. "I didn't know the darts were actually stuck to the wall and not the printed dartboard I hung up..." He bent down, picking up the painting his mother had hung up to cover the indents.

I couldn't help but laugh, clinging to his arm as we moved from room to room. The mansion was gothic, vampy, but that might've just been my imagination playing with me. The tall ceilings were intimidating, yet beautiful-- judging by my surroundings, there was no denying that everything around me cost a fortune.

I was yanked out of my trail of thoughts when Roman led me behind a red curtain by one of the big windows in the next room, and I giggled as he wrapped it around us. My back was pressed against the wall, engulfed by both the curtain and Roman's embrace; "This is where I learned how to French," he whispered, smiling as he pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. "And it was horrible. She fucking bit me and I squealed like a girl."

If Roman was trying to distract me from what he had said in the car, he was certainly doing a good job. The mental image of his first French kiss kept me beyond entertained, and we both continued laughing as he got us out of the wrap of the curtain.

However, it was the walk up the circular stairs that truly made it dawn on me who I was dating-- Roman Godfrey, the future heir to a billion-dollar company. Fuck. I stared up at the painting above us, the one of him and his mother posing with a rather regal-looking background. He couldn't have been more than fourteen in that picture, and I could see his classic intimidating stare through the painting and the way he clutched the chair his mother was posed on. It was clear that the boy in the painting didn't want to be there at all.

Roman turned, realizing what I was looking at; "I fucking hate that one," he grumbled, giving my hand a squeeze. "I refused to smile at that age. I look like I'm on the brink of killing myself."

"Not true," I squeezed his hand back. "Give yourself some grace. How old were you?"

"Fourteen,"

There you go. "Judging by the painting, I think we could've been friends at fourteen,"

Roman stopped in the middle of the curved stairway, his brows drawing together. "How so?"

I shrugged, trying not to focus on how much taller he was than me. If I thought about it for too long, I'd jump him. "Because I wore all black for about a year. If you refused to smile, and I refused to show any joy, I think we would've been a killer duo,"

Roman blinked twice before cracking into a chuckle. "That's unexpected,"

"Bet,"

"You're all... cute and bubbly now,"

"You think?" I wasn't sure how much I agreed. "The girl that's fucking around with her ex-best friend's cousin?"

Roman had to bite down another laugh. "What do you mean, fucking around? I haven't as much as touched you compared to how I could've,"

Oh.

Oh God.

I held back a shiver, staring up at him as he resumed leading me up the stairs. "But... you have touched me,"

"Sure," Roman proceeded to get a proper look at me in the darkness of the night when we reached the second floor. The green around his widened pupils practically shone-- it was impressively cat-like. "Impossible not to, with those fuck-me eyes of yours."

"Hey!" I wasn't sure why I was protesting, but I knew his snicker egged me on. "I don't have... that!"

I could see that Roman was on the brink of cooing at me, and he sucked in a sharp breath as he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip. I hadn't seen him this amused in a while. "Right," he purred. "You don't. Not a trace at all." With a short kiss on my forehead, he moved away from me and started walking down the dark corridor. "Keep those fuck-me eyes in the hallway, and I might let you sleep tonight."

I sighed before gearing up into a walking sprint to catch up with his long strides-- If only he knew that sleep was the last thing on my mind. 

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When we finally reached Roman's bedroom, I couldn't believe the size of it. My room was nothing in comparison. I had certainly not expected the posters-- there were many rare classic horror films and some bands I was sure his mom probably loathed. However, I was surprised by the lack of half-naked models on his walls which I had always imagined; I let out a short, relieved breath. "Your room is nice,"

Roman hummed, throwing his jacket on a chair nearby. "Not too boyish for you?" 

"Nah," I mumbled, walking up to the posters on the opposite wall. There were a lot of movies I hadn't seen yet-- still, I couldn't help but laugh a little when I saw The Godfather. "It's very you."

"How great that you like me, then," 

"Lucky for you, yeah," There was something about this room that I couldn't help but love-- this was where Roman woke up and fell asleep. This was where he probably spent most of his time. I wondered whether the pillows smelled of his going-out cologne or the lighter one he usually wore to school. I wondered whether he'd been caught smoking in here, whether he'd done coke with Peter on his desk, and how many girls he'd had up here. By the likes of it, I somehow doubted anything like that ever happened at his place. If he had waited this long to have me over, I decided it was highly unlikely he'd invite someone he didn't know very well. 

I clasped my hands behind my back, taking long strides as I scanned the many posters on his walls.

Roman sat down on the chair by his desk, spreading out as he watched me with a smirk. "Not what you expected?"

I turned to him, my brows drawing together; "Why? Are you nervous or something?"

"I'm not nervous," Roman huffed, folding his arms over his chest. Now that I was looking straight at him, it was clear that he was. "I'm simply asking."

A knowing smile crept up my cheeks-- it felt like I had the upper hand, for once. "You're nervous,"

"Am not!"

"And now you're fidgeting,"

I was correct; Roman's right leg had given into a slight bounce. He rolled his eyes, muttering curse words under his breath. "It's not every day that I have girls up here, okay? I'm never here, stuff always happens at someone else's-- well, now your room. Because this is, like... my lair,"

I had to bite back an amused smirk; "Your evil lair?"

"Bingo. This is where I dissect people and stuff," He pointed to the table next to him. "So... yeah. Your opinion matters to me, I guess."

"Oh, does it now?"

"On some things, sure,"

I nodded, focusing on how the moonlight was dipping into the dark brown of Roman's hair. He didn't have to be so pretty all the time, did he? How rude. "Such as...?"

With a shrug, Roman now gazed at the tall ceiling. Like this, he almost looked bored. "Your opinion of me is the one that comes to mind, I guess,"

"My opinion of... you?" That was new. 

Roman met my eyes again, this time with a new emotion-- his head was slightly tilted to the side, and he was looking at me through his brows. I had a feeling he didn't intend the look to be as intimidating as it was. "It fluctuates,"

"My opinion?"

"Yep," he said. "Some days, you look at me like I'm everything. And then, the next day, I'm the biggest asshole in the world."

My lips drew together in a tight line-- this was unexpected. "And here I thought I was the only consistent thing in your life," I mumbled. "I don't know, Rome, every couple has its ups and downs, no? But I don't want them to make you doubt what I feel for you. Because... you know, right?" I started taking wary steps across the room. "You know I adore you, there is no way you've managed to miss that?"

With a sigh, Roman sat back in his chair with a smile. "Sure, I know that," he murmured, watching my every step with anticipation. "And I bet that tree you carved our initials into can attest."

Goddamn it. "You're never going to let go of that, are you?" 

As I finally approached him, Roman led me between his legs with a gentle hold around my waist. "Nope," He pressed his lips against my clothed chest, his fingers slowly digging into my top. My arms draped around his neck, and my next words were muffled against his hair; he reeked of his usual cinnamon-flavored cigarettes-- "But sure, if the tree ever starts talking, it will agree. You know I'm crazy about you,"

"Crazy is the keyword here,"

"Oh, shut up," I muttered, pulling away to get a proper look at him. Roman was so damn beautiful-- I had missed the sight of him in the past twenty-four hours I had been unsure of the state of our relationship. "I still can't believe you thought I was going to break up with you... Do you know how shitty you would have to be to drive me to that point?"

Roman pulled me back in again, enjoying the scent of my perfume with his next deep inhale; he pressed a short kiss to my neck. "Let me be paranoid," The next kiss lingered for longer, the warm exhale through his nose grazing my skin.

"But I don't want you to be," I tried. "I don't ever want you to doubt us like that. Never, ever again."

Roman stilled. With a sigh, he spoke; "Okay... but that's where you step into what people in my family call a deathtrap," He motioned for me to sit down in his lap, and with wary movements, I draped my arms around his neck and sat down, allowing him to place a sweet kiss to my cheek. "Deathtrap?" I echoed.

"Deathtrap," Roman shifted, placing one arm around my waist as his free hand traced small circles into my thighs. "Otherwise known as... hope." And just like that, it was as though his mind went elsewhere, as though something in his eyes shifted. 

However, I'd had enough of that-- I wasn't having any of it tonight. Knowing Roman saw hope as a deathtrap made my heart burn. Wary of not being too abrupt, I slowly placed a finger underneath his chin, catching his attention. "If you don't want to harbor any hope of your own, I'll lend you mine," I whispered, gently nudging his nose with mine. 

Roman's pupils dilated as his hot breath fanned against my upper lip. I could smell the beer on him, the cigarettes, yet the most prevalent was the anxiety-- it brushed upon my skin, and caressed my heart. "All of it, Roman," My hand went back into his hair, stroking through the softness of his locks. "All my hope, all my love... it's all yours to borrow. To keep, to mold, to steal, to hold, for as long as you like. It's not a trap of any kind. You're safe with me."

That was all it took, and so he gave in; with the smallest of sighs, Roman closed his eyes, relishing in the moment. "You make me feel... you make me feel," he echoed, almost in disbelief. "It's a painful thing, is it not?"

I dared to let my hand brush down the side of his face, my thumb gently ghosting over his closed lid to feel the softness of his lashes against the pad of my finger. "It doesn't have to be. It could feel really, really good,"

Roman let out a shaky breath against me; "I want that for you," he said, opening his eyes. The green in his eyes shone in the white shimmer of the moonlight, illuminating the intent in his words. "Want to make you feel good... in every way possible." 

Something about the drop in his voice nearly made me shiver-- I couldn't allow myself to, not in his lap. It took a few seconds for me to notice that I was holding my breath, staring back at him with a look on my face which I hoped didn't give away too much. Maybe I had misinterpreted his words? Maybe Roman meant that in a romantic way?

However, with the following upward curve of the corners of his mouth, so small I could barely notice it, I knew my intuition had been right. Roman definitely meant that in a different way. 

... I needed to listen to my intuition more, didn't I?

Roman's hand on my thigh lifted, now removing the vial of blood around my neck to place it on the table nearby; he proceeded to put his palm against my cheek with the gentlest touch, softly caressing my skin with his thumb. This was when it dawned on me that we were alone. Completely alone. Possibly for the first time ever. No interruptions, with no one to hear anything. Had this been a month ago, that fact alone would've been enough to make me jump off his lap, and I would've probably paced up and down along his room with nervous steps to soothe my anxiety. Being alone with him meant that I wouldn't be able to contain my need for him, I was sure of it.

But now? I believed Roman could do that for me. Soothe me. He could calm me down like no other. Now, I knew he wouldn't run off after getting what he wanted-- because now, I knew that what he truly wanted was me. 

"Could you let me do that?" Roman breathed, the green of his eyes finding my lips. I was confused as to how I hadn't melted into his lap already. "Make you feel good?" He leaned forward, just a few inches, now brushing the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip, transfixed. "Or... are you sure you want to do this? Have your first time with someone like me?"

There was something about the fact that he was even asking-- the old Roman would never. "Who else would I have my first time with? It's always been you," My lips parted in a soundless intake of breath, my gaze darting to his plush, pink lips. Like this, I could almost feel them against me; we had kissed so many times that my body remembered the sweet push of his lips simply by gazing at them. Still, I was afraid it would never be enough, and every kiss was as thrilling as the first one. "Just being with you like this feels good already."

Roman hummed, absentminded. "Not what I'm getting at,"

"I know," I breathed. "But I can't help but worry that--" I had to clear my throat, swallowing. Why was I getting so damn nervous? It was getting harder to breathe, and I was sure my cheeks were flushing. "Well... That I won't know what to do."

With a sigh, Roman bit down on his lip to hold back a laugh. "It's your first time, you won't have to do much," Despite his lids hanging heavy over his darkening eyes, I could see the want building in him. "I'll take the lead, okay? You just relax." He steadied me with his palm over my cheek before leaning forward-- my body hitched with caution as he brushed his lips across mine, slanted, until I allowed myself to give in. 

The soft pillow of Roman's lips was the sweetest pressure I had ever known. I could feel my blood heat with the intent of the kiss, and I suddenly got the urge to cross my legs to calm myself down-- I knew I couldn't. Roman's breath fell softly against my cheek as my hands went up into his hair, tugging gently at the tips of his dark locks as I kissed him back with my lips slightly parted, moving against his as though he was whispering me a question.

Maybe I didn't hear it-- maybe it was a warning? Had he actually whispered something, or was I imagining things? Because with the next second, Roman hooked his arm under my knees, lifting me off the chair as I yelped into the kiss. It didn't take long before I eased, telling myself he had lifted me many times before, and that he would never drop me. Never, ever. Roman smiled against my lips, humming just slightly as he carried me bridal-style across the room. It felt silly, cliché, until it dawned on me-- was he playing the cliché out for me? Was this what he perhaps imagined I wanted, something pure, something classically virginal?

In the few seconds our kiss was broken, Roman placed me down on the bed and watched as I giggled; it was impossible not to laugh as the recoil of the springs threatened to bounce me up in the air again. He tsked, now grinning as he made space between my legs, drawing me closer before he kissed me once more. It was bolder this time, pressing the soft fullness of his mouth against mine-- there was nowhere else for me to go but to him. 

My hands wove into Roman's hair again, pulling him closer as my heart thumped hard in my chest. Was this really happening? Or was this maybe something I was imagining, maybe the alcohol hadn't left my system yet? "Rome--"

Before I could continue, his lips were on mine again like a magnet, drawing us together, unable to separate the magnetic forces long enough to let me speak. It was confirmed; he was definitely here. This was real. There was an urgency to Roman's stubborn kisses-- you're mine, just accept it. Being kissed into submission was something I had never imagined was possible, yet here I was, my lips parting with a soft whimper, feeling his tongue against mine; it filled me with a complete and utter satisfaction, a final statement. 

I wanted him to devour me. As I coiled my fingers around Roman's dark hair, tugging him closer, I so desperately wanted only that. To melt into him, to become one-- was that maybe the core concept of sex which I had misunderstood all up until this exact moment? Just the thought of being connected with Roman like that, knowing he could possibly be inside me-- that thought had never evoked the physical reaction in me before as it did now. 

Well, fuck. I realized I was screwed before it had even happened.

Sucking in a sharp breath, the silk of Roman's expensive duvets kept me grounded as he softly groaned into my mouth. His tongue circled mine before gently sucking the tip of it into his mouth, and he listened to my whimpers as he withdrew shortly after, a lone string of saliva still linking us. I was unsure why I was left so speechless, why every little thing he did made me feel like my body was on fire, but I knew there was no rationality in need. The innate need ravaging through your veins. There was no way to make sense of it, and I was certain Roman was aware of that too. Yet suddenly, he was near-motionless, blinking twice as if he was a little lost on what to do, which I immediately thought was odd--

Oh. There it was. I was wondering when that would happen. 

So... Roman wasn't lost. Far from it. Flustered might be a better word-- I felt his erection poke into my stomach, and it made me realize how big his pupils had gotten. That was quick. "Uh... Surprise?" He awkwardly cleared his throat as his green eyes nearly devoured me whole. "Fuck it, there's one thing I want to do before we go on. It'll take a second."

I held my breath-- with Roman, that could mean anything. "... Okay?"

"Don't look so scared," he teased, getting off the bed and walking to his nightstand. In my head, I wondered whether he was grabbing condoms, or whether he was about to impose something kinky on me. I was ready to start my rehearsed lecture on going slow with me, that it was my first time and everything, until my mind blanked at the sight of a... candle?

Roman got a lighter nearby, looking back at me with a trying smile. "You once said that me and sweet don't go together," he explained, lighting the candle. "On our first date, I believe, if we can call it that. The blackmail part of it was probably not ideal, but it counts in my head. Anyway, I thought you might be right about the sweet part... but it doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be."

I was afraid I'd melt much, much faster than that candle. "Don't tell me you went out and bought that candle just for this?"

Roman shrugged, hoping to brush it off. "Well... I was determined to prove you wrong. And I had a candle for my first time, and I guess it eased me a little. But, uh... I think this is actually a funeral candle," 

"I see," I had to contain a laugh. Sitting up, I reached for his fingers as I longed to touch him again; "Well, no one's dead yet, but the night is still young."

Unable to hold it, Roman snorted, placing the lighter back on the nightstand before he interlocked our fingers. "I'm never doing anything like this again, so I suggest you cherish it,"

"What? But now I'm growing fond of the funeral candle, you're breaking my heart!"

Roman rolled his eyes, sinking down on the bed again, and he brought our intertwined fingers above my head. "If that's what I need to do to get you in my bed, I'll buy the whole fucking candle company," 

There was something exciting about the fact that Roman genuinely could. It wasn't just an empty threat. If he got high enough one night, I was sure he'd know who to call. I was surprised to feel he was still hard now that his erection was pressed up against me once more, but I didn't get much time to think about it-- Roman freed one of his hands, and he managed to make his way under my top as he kissed me once more.

My breath hitched against the soft push of his lips as it hit me that I might have to get fully naked for this. Fuck. Okay. Yet my anxiety eased at the thought of him being fully naked too-- I found my hips keening up against him, my need for friction growing with my arousal. 

Roman smiled into the kiss; it was a ravenous feeling. "Impatient?" he asked, barely leaving my lips.

"Yeah," It was merely a breath-- I felt his hand ghost over my bra, slowly tracing the hem. I could barely think, too excited to function anymore.

"No need," Roman pulled away, letting go of the remaining hand above my head as his fingers now toyed with the edge of my top. "We have all the time in the world."

His tone was enough to bring scarlet to my cheeks, but I nodded, swallowing when he bunched the fabric up in his hands and lifted it up and off of me. I raised my arms, pouting just slightly at the loss of contact-- who would've thought I'd get more drunk from kissing Roman than the beer Peter gave me earlier? 

With a sigh, Roman's eyes consumed me; the smirk with which he looked down at me only made me more flustered. "Rome," I whined, reaching my hands out for him. "Stop that, get back here. This isn't anything new." That was true-- me in my bra wasn't a sight he hadn't seen before. 

Roman tsked, sending me a stern look. "You're disturbing my thought process,"

"Your thought process?--"

"Yep," he said, shrugging. "I'm just thinking about how I want to cum right..." Roman trailed a line across my lower abdomen with his finger, using a touch so light it immediately made me squirm. "... here."

The squirming quickly turned into a small shiver, and my hands went straight to my face as my blush deepened. 

There was a change in Roman which was noticeable by the way he lost his smile, lost in whatever images he had in his head as he now leaned back down, pressing eager kisses to the apex of my collarbones. His lips trailed down my body, his fingers digging into the sides of my waist-- his mind was gone. I tugged at his hair as he inched further away, and I whimpered at the sensation of his tongue tracing a circle around my belly button. I never expected myself to like anything like that, but damn-- heaven. This was heaven. 

I was reminded of how much bigger Roman was than me when I was suddenly yanked to the edge of the bed, and I could only yelp as I did nothing to fight it. His hands trailed down the sides of my hips, now hooking his fingers around my panties, not yet taking them off-- instead, he was kissing me through my soaked underwear, humming. 

Christ, this was something I could get used to. I managed to register the fact that he wasn't on the bed anymore, and I propped myself up on my elbows with the last remaining power I had to confirm my suspicions. Roman stopped for a moment, pulling away to glance right back at me; "What?"

"You're... kneeling,"

"... Yeah?"

It didn't register in my head. "You don't kneel for anyone," The Roman Godfrey didn't get on his knees for anyone in the world. In my mind, he thought the world should be kneeling to him, and that he would never stoop so low.

However, the look he gave me in return told me everything I needed to know. Come on, now. Roman pulled my underwear off as he spoke, peeling it down my thighs; "I kneel for you," To him, that was as simple as a fact. The most logical thing in the history of the universe. He didn't even seem to deem the subject worthy of a further conversation, now grabbing my hips to bring me even closer to the edge of the bed as I let out a small squeak. Roman led my legs to hang over his broad shoulders as he leaned forward, rings of desire around his eyes as he licked a broad, flat stripe up my sex.

Fuck-- I did my best not to mewl as my fingers reached for his hair once more, twirling into the soft curls of his hair. "Rome--"

At this point, I was sure he wouldn't hear me no matter how loudly I spoke. Roman sensed I was about to start keening against him, and he pulled my legs back and held my thighs in place as he slicked his tongue in between my slit, mouth moving as though he was pressing deep, heavy kisses against me. I whimpered, my grip on his hair loosening as I felt my conscience slip into its usual drugged-on-Roman state. A very, very dangerous state of mind, if you ask me.

Giving me some time to breathe, Roman moved to leave soft kisses up along the crease of my thighs. "Keep your legs like this, okay?" he said, slowly trailing one hand up my thigh. Roman's finger teasingly tapped my clit, and he turned to watch the thin line of slick connecting the pad of his finger to me. It was hard not to squirm, and I brought one hand up to my mouth to hopefully suppress any noise. "Rome, what are you?--"

Oh. My breath hitched as he eased his slicked middle finger into me, careful to go in with slow strokes. I whined against my hand when Roman's mouth returned to me, sealing his perfect lips around my swollen nub, adding pressure. It was almost too much-- I felt myself clench around his finger when he curled it upwards, just as his lips covered my mound, sucking me in. 

"Christ," I breathed, reaching down to grab a hold of Roman's hair, the slick sounds of his mouth making goosebumps appear along my skin as I contained a shiver. "Shit, Rome, it feels-- so, so good--"

My mindless ramble came to an end with the next hitch of my breath; Roman added another finger, humming against me as an answer. With how nervous I was, it was a tight fit, and the sting that followed made me instinctively tighten my fist in his hair, my skin straining over my knuckles. It was hard to keep still, a string of whimpers escaping my lips. 

My hands shook as Roman continued slowly stroking his fingers into me. I wondered whether he could feel my anxiety seeping into my lust-- it was becoming so real. Roman's green eyes darted up at me, stilling his fingers, giving me time to adjust. He pulled away from me, leaving his digits in me as he spoke; "I'm not gonna last long if you tighten up like that later," 

His words conjured a deep blush to my cheeks, and I brought my hands up to my face to hide. "Sorry," I breathed. "I don't-- don't know what's happening."

Roman shrugged, placing a wet, gentle kiss against the inside of my thigh. "You're nervous. It's normal," His hot breath ghosted over my soaked sex as he moved to the other thigh-- "I think it'll help if I make you cum like this. You'll relax more. And I'll keep my fingers in, get you used to the feeling... Unless you want them out?"

For a man who said he didn't deal with virgins, he certainly knew how to talk one down from the cliff. I let out a shaky breath, peeking down at him past my fingers; "N-No, it's okay,"

Roman seemed to be holding back a laugh; "You look a little spooked,"

"I... do?" Knowing my boyfriend, I knew he probably found that incredibly hot.

"A bit. Wanna stop?--"

"No!" That was a little too quick. Fuck. 

Roman chuckled as he proceeded to bite down on the inside of my thigh with a teasing smirk-- I squeaked, clenching around his fingers. "Good," he purred, leaning forward to press a short kiss to my clit, drawing out another squeak from me. Something told me he liked the sound of my pleasured panic. "It's been some time since the last time you let me do this. I've missed the taste of you."

"... It's been, like, four days,"

Roman let out a groan, and I could see in his eyes that it was building in him-- the innate lust. "A fucking eternity," he breathed, a new rasp appearing in his voice. With that, Roman didn't lose a single second leaning back down, slicking his tongue between my folds, returning to suck down on my clit with a moan. 

Oh, well-- I knew I was done for. Still, knowing his goal was to make me cum, knowing I didn't have to hold back, I let my hands wander back into his hair with a whimper of pleasure. It didn't take long before I clenched around his fingers again, the burn of the stretch subsiding with every flick of Roman's tongue. 

"Fuck," I breathed. "Fuck, fuck--"

Any attempt to speak dissolved into incoherent cries, teetering on the edge while pleasure surged through me like a relentless wave. Still, it didn't take more than two more sucks to ease me over, and I felt my climax drawing out long and slow against Roman's mouth, tightening around his fingers with a whimper. 

My head lolled along the duvets as I tried to catch my breath. With every time Roman did this, it only got better-- it was hard to believe that was even possible. I came to my senses when I felt his fingers slide out of me, the twinge of pain having long passed. 

"Fuck," Roman said, a laugh to his voice as he pressed kisses up along my stomach, getting up from the ground. "Best fucking pussy in the world."

God-- I hid my face again, my blush deepening. That dirty mouth of his. "That was so good," I purred, reaching out for him; "Come here, Rome. I miss you up here."

Chuckling, Roman shook his head, motioning for me to scoot further up the bed. "Just a sec," he said, walking back over to his nightstand, opening his drawer again and shuffling around. I did as told, watching him with a sigh; he was right, that orgasm had relaxed me. However, my zen didn't last long-- I suddenly felt all my muscles tightening when I watched Roman bring the fingers he just had in me to his lips, absentmindedly sucking on them as he now held up a silver wrapper with his free hand as though that was the most normal thing in the world. I also spotted a clear bottle which I could only assume was lube. 

What the fuck? The sight of him doing that made me want to disappear into the bed-- why was the sight so... thrilling? It must've been the look of enjoyment on his face. "Oh, that's hot," I mumbled, my eyes immediately widening with the realization of what I had just blurted out.

Roman cocked a brow as he unclasped the vial of my blood around his neck, placing it next to the candle before he got back on the bed, now trailing the residue of spit and slick on his fingers across my thighs. "Well, you taste nice,"

"Not that nice?"

A hum; "Wanna try some, make up your mind?" he asked, a teasing smirk spreading across his plush lips as he brought his hand up to his mouth, wiping off the remnants of my slick to coat his fingers. 

I shivered, grimacing— "No, thanks," Hoping to distract Roman from trying to convince me, I sat up, reaching for the buttons of his shirt. Frankly, I had enough of being the only one that was undressed.

Roman hummed, following my hands with his eyes, grinning from ear to ear as he threw down the condom and the lube somewhere on the bed. "More for me, then," he mumbled, licking my slick off his fingers as he kept his gaze on me-- it didn't take long before he pushed me back down on the bed, unbuttoning the last of his buttons with ease I could never match. 

My heart had probably never worked this hard before in my life. "Rome," I tried, watching him discard his shirt. Fuck-- he was gorgeous. I could feel myself blushing in an instant, shamelessly looking him up and down; I knew he didn't mind. Why was I reacting like this? Roman being breathtakingly handsome wasn't news? "I think... I think--"

"You're still thinking?" Roman's hands gripped my waist as he leaned down, kissing up my torso as I whimpered beneath him, reaching for his hair again. "Stop thinking. No thinking."

"No thinking?" I echoed, giggling as his eager kisses reached my neck, getting ticklish. "You're asking for too much." Now that he was finally close again, I draped my arms around him, trailing my fingers across his broad shoulders with a sigh. Being skin-to-skin like this was my favorite thing in the world-- being connected.

Roman hummed, his erection once again pressing into my lower abdomen. "Either you stop thinking of your own volition..." he said, pulling my chest up against his. "... Or I'll have to fuck your brains out. Your choice."

I shivered, feeling my mind start buzzing. That was a damn easy choice. "That sounds rough," I mumbled, my breath hitching as Roman pressed a kiss to my ear. "You said you'd be gentle..." To be completely honest, this was the part I was nervous about-- would he maybe not be able to be? I was a little scared he'd be like one of those horror-story guys Letha had told me she'd been with, one of those guys that just slap you all of a sudden or start choking you cause they've seen it in porn and think that's normal behavior. 

Roman pulled away, hovering barely an inch above my lips; his breath grazed my cheek, and the green of his eyes were glazed over with a look of confusion. "Am I not being just that?" he asked, nodding to the candle.

Oh-- I turned to the supposed funeral candle. 

It allowed a sweet kiss to my cheek, the tip of his upturned nose pressing into my cheekbone; "Trust me. I wouldn't want to hurt you, you know me,"

He was right-- from the very first moment we got together, he had told me just that.

Still, it was only when I felt Roman's lips against mine with the softest of pressures, that I pushed my concerns away. It was the sort of kiss that made my heart burn, the sort of kiss that made my hands trail up into his hair to keen him closer. I pushed all my thoughts of horror into a heap, churned it in my mental grinder, processed it, and allowed the product of it to slip past my lips; "I want you," I breathed, feeling myself grow needy against him.

Roman hummed, a small roll of his hips onto mine following-- I didn't expect it to make my breath catch in my chest. "I want you too," 

Something in me ignited; I wanted him to do that again. Disoriented, I reached down for the zipper of his jeans, moaning into the kiss that followed. "Want you more," 

Roman smiled; "Not possible," 

At this moment, I was thankful to be made up of solid matter-- if not, I was sure I'd have melted straight into the bed, a puddle of pure horny. I wasn't sure when Roman lost his pants, too consumed in the kiss to function. My state of arousal only heightened when my hips bucked up, feeling the hard outline of his cock between my legs; I was suddenly reminded of the time we did something similar in an alleyway on our first day. But this was different-- this was a direct contact of his clothed length brushing up against my clit with repeating strokes, a motion which had my breath hitching as my nails dug into his shoulders.

Roman let out a soft groan, nipping at my neck as he ground down against me. "This," he breathed. "This is what you do to me. I wanna be in you so fucking bad."

With the next roll of his hips, I whimpered; the buzzing of my mind refused to still. "Have me, then," was all I managed to say, tugging at Roman's hair as the tips of my fingers burned.

What followed happened so fast, I barely registered it. I heard the ripping of the silver wrapping in the midst of our heated kiss, adrenaline and dopamine coursing through my veins as every little sweet word rolling off Roman's tongue filled me with that familiar warm feeling I always got around him.

For this, it was all worth it. All the drama with Letha, all the tears, all the pain-- it was all worth it. 

"You're everything," Roman whispered, rubbing the head of his cock along my soaked sex as my hands skimmed the muscular range of his back. "You're my everything, do you know that?"

God, how I wanted to be one with him. Wanted him in my head, wanted him in me, wanted to melt into him and become one single entity, never to part. From the first moment I met him, from the first moment I laid eyes on him in class, from the first moment he smiled at me, I knew it was Roman. It would always be Roman, it would always, always be Roman for me, and knowing he thought the same of me as well, that I was his everything-- all my longing, everything, had been worth it. Because I was his everything too, finally, just like he had always been mine. 

However, as Roman angled his cock and gently pushed the head in, kissing my cheek with the sweetest touch, I didn't expect the painful, sharp sting-- I wasn't sure how loudly I gasped, how far my nails dug into his back, but I was really damn certain that this hurt. 

Roman was out of me within the blink of a second; "Shit," he breathed, a panicked look in his eyes. "Should've-- Should've warned you."

The sting remained as I did my best to breathe through it. "That's a stretch," was all I managed to say, stroking over where I had scraped his back. 

"I'll take that as a compliment," Roman mumbled, scanning me. He didn't seem bothered by the crescent moons my nails were leaving behind. "You okay?"

"Yeah..."

He cursed under his breath, leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. "I forgot about this part... My brain doesn't work when you're naked," Roman sighed, reaching for one of the hands I had on his back. "If you want to go on, I might know a way to make it a little easier."

I met his eyes as he brought the back of my hand to his lips; "I guess it's supposed to hurt a little, Roman, just... just do what you usually do, I trust you," Maybe I needed to push through it? I could take a little pain, couldn't I? That was until I remembered the pain again-- it made me clench. Ouch.

With a certain look I knew too well, he shook his head as he now wrapped his fingers around my wrist. "No. It's not supposed to hurt," he said. "And I said I wouldn't hurt you, so..." Roman trailed my hand down along my body, watching as my eyes widened. "In my experience, it helps if you... help."

"Help?"

"Help yourself, so to speak," Roman purred, his signature cocky smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Cause I doubt this will be your first time doing this."

"Doing what?-- Oh," As he placed my hand over my sex, he slid two fingers above mine, guiding me to rub my clit. Roman was right; it wasn't my first time doing that to myself. Still, this was a different feeling-- My hips immediately bucked up into our hands, and when Roman leaned down to kiss me, I knew I was done for. 

Everything felt warm, everything felt right. "Just keep doing that," he whispered, sinking his teeth into my lower lip. "Wanna?-- Again?"

Roman didn't need to use more words than that; I knew what he meant. I nodded, feeling my cheeks redden at the fact that I was touching myself in front of him like this-- however, I didn't have time to think much about it.

Soon, I wasn't the only one touching myself, anyway.

"Should've used this from the start," Roman mumbled, cursing under his breath as he poured a dash of lube on his cock from the clear bottle nearby. "Got too excited... fuck." With a lazy grip, he wrapped his hand around his length, spreading the lube with slow strokes. 

My mind was buzzing. I watched as Roman's lips parted, a shaky breath escaping him. "It's okay," I tried, rubbing mindless circles around my clit. "It's just me."

"Yeah, and I care about you," Roman's eyes were halfway closed as they met mine, darkened with growing lust. "Ready?"

I nodded-- yeah.

This time, when Roman's cock pushed into me again with the slowest of strokes, the pleasure from my clit dulled the sting. The only thing left to adjust to was the stretch; my breath hitched as my free hand went back up into his hair, wincing against his lips as his thick length stroked me open. 

Roman cursed as his parted lips hovered above mine. He held me tightly against his body, watching out for any signs of discomfort before he spoke; "Shit... This feels better than I--thought," 

My head rolled back against the duvet, breathing against Roman with small heaves. "Rome," I whimpered. "Fuck, this is--" I didn't expect the feeling, didn't expect the tips of my fingers to burn more as I grasped at his hair, didn't expect the way my whole body reacted-- it was different from anything else I had ever felt or thought I could feel. Being filled up by Roman was...

It was everything.

Everything I had ever dreamed of. 

It felt good, it felt right-- I moaned, clenching at the feeling of his cock slowly sinking into me at a steady pace, my body aching with love. This was as gentle as I bet anything like this could possibly be, and I squirmed a bit beneath him, adjusting to the feeling of having his cock inside of me. 

Roman let out a shaky breath, containing the urge to pound into my warmth like I supposed he usually would. "Hurts?"

"No, no-- Ah," 

With his next thrust, Roman kissed up my jaw, keeping every stroke careful. "Want me to put it in all the way?"

"The-- There is more?"

"Baby..." he breathed, containing a choked laugh. "I'm only halfway in."

I was sure I was about to faint. How the fuck?-- No, I couldn't think clearly in this state. No more thinking. I decided to trust him; I knew Roman would pull back if it hurt, anyway. "Okay... Let's try,"

As Roman pushed in more of his length, the quiet moan escaping him blended in with my string of panicked whimpers. I didn't even know I had space inside me for more-- my eyes sprung open, my legs giving into a tremble. "Rome, I-- a-ah, this is--"

"Shh, look at me, breathe," Roman brought his hand to my face, guiding me to look into his eyes. His voice was soft, caring; "You okay? Is this too much?"

The shock was the thing that had gotten to me, I was sure of it. Because after a few more deep strokes, a few tighter circles around my clit, my fear eased as I realized this was a sensation I would be chasing for the rest of my life.

"Feels good?" Roman asked, his voice nearly breaking-- I imagined it was hard to not give in to the pleasure of the tight embrace around his cock.

Still, I could only nod, twisting my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him towards me to smother him with a heated rush of my lips against his, moaning into the kiss as I pulled my hand from between my legs-- it was starting to brink the line of overstimulation. 

"Good," Roman muttered against my mouth. 

The kiss didn't last too long; my shock was still coming and going in waves. "I'm-- we're having sex," I blurted out, my cheeks flaring red. The truth was hitting me like a blow to the head. The thing I had dreamed about since the first day I laid eyes on him was actually happening.

Roman contained a laugh, looking rather endeared by my realization; "Yeah, you're doing it, you're having sex... I'd give you a high five, but-- hah, that wouldn't work,"

Why were we laughing? Why was this... fun?

Caught between the fire in my chest, the twinge of humor, and the ache pulsing low between my legs, I whimpered as I realized I wanted-- no, needed more. Still, a small, meek call of his name was all I managed to stutter out.

Roman shifted, pushing my body so that my knees were bent at his sides; "Speak your mind," 

How was I supposed to conjure a cohesive sentence in this state? "I want-- you, more--"

"We're going-- hah, back to that?" 

"Not that! More, Rome-- just, more, I need--"

He let out a breathy moan, smiling back down at me; he knew exactly what I meant. "Thank God," Roman's cock filled me over and over, his thrusts growing harder, faster as he found a steady pace to rock into me. "You're taking me so good, aren't you?"

My head felt like it was spinning. This couldn't be real. I couldn't possibly be as lucky as to finally sleep with Roman Godfrey. 

His voice brought me back; "You're doing so well," he murmured, burying his face into the crook of my neck, muffling a quiet moan against my skin. It was the most magical of sounds-- my heart was threatening to beat out of my chest, and I was sure the warmth of skin against mine probably helped with the overheating of my brain. "Doing so, so well for me... I've wanted you like this for so long."

"Me too," I breathed, my hips keening to take his thrusts. "Wanted you-- since forever."

My words only seemed to reel him on; Roman hips snapped harder into me as I whimpered. "Forever?" 

"Forever-- a-ah,"

Something in Roman's breathing changed. It was almost as though I could read his thoughts, feel his new reality form. Was it maybe the last push he needed to believe I was his till death? That there was a person out there walking this earth, breathing the same air, that could possibly want to be with him for an eternity? "Forever," he breathed, latching onto my neck with repeated needy kisses in an attempt to drown out the noises threatening to spill past his lips. "You and-- and I, forever."

As Roman's cock repeatedly pushed into me, I could only whimper; the stretch was still something to get used to, and my nails bit into his back as I tried to steady myself. "Forever," I managed to breathe out, hearing him moan into my neck at the sharpness of my nails against his back-- I knew he'd like that. I knew Roman too damn well. 

"Forever," he echoed, breath washing warm against my ear as he raised himself, his cheek nuzzling mine in an intimate embrace. 

I clenched around the girth of his cock, shivering. This was so unbelievably sweet, nothing I had ever expected from him. Roman was so much taller, and his broad build served as a comforting weight through the wave of new pleasure my body tried to comprehend. With the next surge of love washing over my chest, the next pump of Roman's cock, I felt my chin give in to an involuntary quiver as I gripped him tighter. 

It was at this moment that it truly dawned on me;

I loved him. 

I loved Roman Godfrey.

Tears swarmed my eyes as one of my hands went up into his soft hair, hoping he'd take it as an urging for him to kiss me again. I didn't want to have a chance to talk, to blurt it out and scare him away-- which is why, when Roman shifted and crashed his lips against mine, I only felt relief. 

I was safe. I was cared for. And damn, I felt good. 

However, what I hadn't expected, was for the shift of angle to brush past a spot inside of me I had only ever felt when Roman's fingers curled into me. But this was far greater, far more stimulating-- I let out a choked moan against Roman's lips, my eyes springing open as my head tilted back into the duvet, heaving for air as my legs gave in to a tremble. 

I didn't have to look up at him to know the exact look on his face, yet I dared to take a peek; he was too hot to resist. And there it was, those parted, perfect lips paired with that dark look in his green eyes of victory. This is exactly what he had wanted to reduce me to all along, wasn't it? Roman's hair had never been this messed up (courtesy of my hands), and the sheer look of it nearly made my heart swell. "Good tears?" he asked with a whisper, scanning the look in my eyes.

Fuck, yeah. I could only nod. 

Knowing Roman, I was wondering when he'd-- oh, hello, you. I was waiting for the eventual switch. A man like Roman Godfrey couldn't stay sweet forever. 

At the sight of my tears, I knew something new in him ignited. He placed a hand over my mouth, placing more of his weight on me as his other hand pulled me tighter against him, the wet snaps of his cock pushing into me growing louder as I moaned out against his palm. "Listen to this," he purred, a sinister smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he made me listen to the sound of our union. "This is sex, you're damn right. This is what you'll be craving from me." 

God-- I squeezed my eyes shut, the continuous push of the tip of Roman's cock against my sweet spot inside sending my brain into a frenzy. 

"I get why you've been reserved... You'll never be who you were before this again," With a grunt, the next snap of his hips only grew harder, knowing I could take it and adjust. It certainly didn't help the tremble of my body. "Gonna get you fucking addicted to this feeling. To me. Cause you've given yourself to me now, do you-- do you realize that?"

My wet lashes fluttered as I slowly dared to open my eyes, my heart thumping harder than ever before. If only he knew how addicted I already was. 

"This is it," Roman breathed, the green hues of his gaze engulfing me; "This is us. This is you. This is who you are from now on. My girl... Only mine. Forever. Gonna help you cum on this cock, okay? Gonna give you the first time you deserve, h-hah--"

Something about the look in his eyes unnerved me, despite the hot nature of his words-- What? There were many ways for him to make me cum, surely, but the second my fingers started numbing up, my mind started flaring red with a passage from my most hated book;

The upir's ability to mesmerize is an ancient and powerful form of psychic influence, capable of bending a victim's will. This control often manifests subtly, with suggestions that feel like one's own thoughts. If one is being mesmerized by a upir, it is often accompanied by a stilling of one's inner monologue, or a numbing sensation. Prolonged exposure can lead to disorientation, memory lapses, and a gradual erosion of autonomy. The key to resisting lies in anchoring oneself to reality—through pain, strong emotions, or focusing on a meaningful object. Beware: once under an upir's thrall, distinguishing truth from illusion becomes a perilous challenge.

Beware. 

Beware.

The last time my fingers had numbed up like this, was the time Roman forced me to tell him what had happened between Jasmine and I. It felt like the autonomy of my thoughts evaporated, seeped out of my ears, and disappeared into Roman's grasp. 

However, at this moment right now, this moment of blinding pleasure and complete rapture of my soul and love, I wanted nothing more but this. I knew I wasn't being mesmerized of course, because upirs weren't real-- but as Roman kept my face still and my eyes on him, it felt like it. It was almost like I heard him telling me to cum. A few more thrusts were all it took, the complete transfixion of Roman's unnaturally dilated pupils swallowing me as I only saw green, green, green-- his hand quickly left my mouth to hear me cry out, a choked moan escaping me as the fear toppled me. This was an orgasm unlike anything else I had experienced, and I felt myself pulse around Roman's length, practically milking his cock as I struggled to grapple with the most intense climax of my life. "Fuck-- Fuck!" I whimpered, my nails digging further into his back as tears welled in my eyes. 

The mere sight of it was enough for Roman to nearly buckle over, and I was ripped out of the trance, heaving for air as he spilled into the condom, teeth grazing my shoulder as he tried to bite back his moans of pleasure, hips keening into my tight warmth. 

I slowly slid my hands off Roman's broad back, realizing we had both dripped sweat onto each other's skin as I hoped my breath would soon go back to normal. My body ached in a way it had never ached before, and I winced as Roman eventually pulled out of me with a sigh. 

There was a long moment after he rolled off of me where we simply gazed at each other. I watched the heave of his chest, the way his brown hair laid over his dangerous green eyes, and wondered how on earth I had been so lucky as to have him fall for me too.

However, suddenly, amid my awe, a small droplet of blood gathered at Roman's nose. To my surprise, he was completely unbothered. The look in his eyes told me he had an inkling this would happen, and it further confused me.

I leaned forward to wipe away the blood pooling at his upper lip with my thumb. "You're bleeding," I echoed, aware that I was stating the obvious.

Roman's eyes softened; "Are you, though?"

"... What do you mean?"

Shifting, he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer as his other hand slid between my legs, sliding a finger against the wetness of my sex as I squirmed, a short giggle escaping me as I nuzzled up against him. Roman then scanned his finger as I continued to wipe away the stream of blood coming from his nose, watching as it smeared against his cheek. He hummed; "You didn't bleed. At least that's good?"

"I guess?"

Roman kissed my bloodied thumb, a shaky breath escaping him at the taste of the iron; "How was that for you? You okay?"

If only he knew. "You were great," I purred, nipping at his jaw. "It was lovely, Rome."

He let out a breath; "Thank fuck," Roman murmured, visibly relieved. "And you were really damn sweet. I knew those fuck-me eyes would be the death of me... Sorry if it got a little intense at the end, there."

"No, no, that was-- fuck, that was so hot,"

Roman smiled. My sweet boy. Another kiss; "But now, there's one thing I wanted to do." He propped himself up on his elbow, and I closed my eyes as he made sure I laid with my back against the bed-- I was too tired to focus. The ache between my legs refused to subside, making me worried about the state of my thighs tomorrow. They better not fucking cramp up with every step, similar to the day after a hard session at the gym.

And just as I was about to ask him to return to me, to stop doing whatever the fuck he was doing, I suddenly felt a warm, slick substance drip onto my lower abdomen. With a gasp, I snapped out of my drowsiness, only to be met with the sight of Roman holding the condom above my stomach with a devilish grin, letting the content pour down on me.

He chuckled at the sight of my widened eyes, my speechless state-- "Didn't manage to cum here, as I said... so this will do,"

"Roman, for fuck's sake!" 

"What? You look good with my cum all over!--"

"Roman!"

"Fine!" he huffed. "Gonna go grab some wipes, I'll be right back. Anything else you need? Water?"

I wondered whether Roman realized how sweet he was being-- I glanced over at the candle flickering in the moonlight, the vial of my blood lying neatly next to it. The sight made my heart swell; God, how I loved him. It killed me that he couldn't know. I knew he'd run in the other direction if he did. "Water would be nice," I breathed, watching as Roman got dressed again. 

It all hit me like a wave, now;

The first time I got my heart broken, I had been at fault. 

The first time I got a black eye, I had swung the first punch.

But the first time I had sex? It had thankfully been with the man I loved. Still, I was sure the cosmic imbalance would catch up to me again and drag me back down into the dirt soon enough. 

But not right now.

Not right now.

Here, I was safe with Roman. The universe couldn't get me now, no-- not with the equivalent of the moon lying next to me. He had returned to me in no time, holding me close in his nearly immediate slumber after having lent me a shirt of his to sleep in. The cosmos wouldn't dare to touch me now. 

I adjusted the cover on top of us, kissing Roman's forehead; "Are you sleeping?" I whispered, poking his cheek with the gentlest of touches. 

No response. Phew. 

And just as I started to fade into sleep as well, I ran my thumb across the softness of his cheek. I connected our foreheads with a content sigh before I pressed my lips against his in a loving kiss. Roman looked so peaceful-- the universe wouldn't dare to take me now, wouldn't dare to wake him up. 

"I love you," I whispered like I would be put to death if I awoke him. With one last glance at the candle, my heavy lids fluttered as my heart cried;

"I love you,"

(a/n: thank you SO MUCH for reading this monster of a chapter!!<33 if you've made it all the way down here, here are all the other chapters if you're interested!!<33 MWAH)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11

tagging those that seemed interested!!<333

@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx

@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt

@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani

@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium @pecxiebu

@mil88691 @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @katifefe @sn0wybowie-blog

@lilithskywalker @likecherriesinthespring @sadheartjellyfish @vadersangel

@shehangsbrightly @burningmiraclekingdom @dollforaswan @austinswhitewolf

@nico-velvet @shiiiii-okayyyy

[quesocheeso]

First off, love this AU so much (honestly it's just nice seeing shadowpeach be happy) thank you.

Secondly, has MK ever met and/or interacted with the rest of the brotherhood, and if so, what are his thoughts?

He’s definitely met them before, they are part of his dad’s court.

As for their relationship, I think I’m just gonna leave that to when I get to those points of the story in the comic, but I’ll give a brief summary

DBK: Loves that guy, would say one of his favorite uncles but like too many people would jump DBK to win the title. Has always been part of his life so he is very close with the guy. DBK would sometimes take Red Son and MK fishing when they have time, happens more often once MK starts living more in the mortal realm. They’re like this🤞trust

Yellow Tusk: MK has had him as a teacher for various different topics growing up, he loves that no matter what he asks Yellow Tusk always answers with the most sincerest voice and even gives logical answers to his questions even if they are supposed to be silly. Loves the guy would recommend as a teacher 10/10👍

Peng: Bird Man, bit him once did not taste like chicken😔 0/5 stars on yelp,,, he has a deep distrust with the guy because of the way he has seen him disrespect Macaque, though he learned what silent revenge was from his Mom that day, when Peng walked into the court room a few hours later with half his feathers burned to a crisp, and his mom was trying hard not to laugh and had a smug smile. Mom=1, Bird Man=0

Azure: this is one is complicated, and this is coming from me as the writer, I’m still not set with how I will write Azure in the Au, whether that is just as a side character or and antagonist of kinds. Definitely won’t be the main antagonist but I do like how his character is complex in canon, so I’m heavy debating rn. But for now assume MK’s view of him is complicated, he just can’t put his finger on it.

Anyways that’s all I can say for now😌✌️

[reiniesainyo]

IN BETWEEN. charlie bushnell x reader – 02

02 | WELCOME TO NY previous | next | masterfile

SYNPOSIS. when a girl's co-star is good to her and now she wants it more than everything in between. (smau)

A/N. wow actual content who knew! i give some tidbits about rina and lukes dynamic as well for funsies (takes place at the start of the season premiere to probably episode 4-5 ish)

liked by iamcharliebushnell, walker.scobell, and 322,778 others thelnarchive best people to star in my first show with actually

walker.scobell pov: you at the end of this sentence 🤓👆 ↳ thelnarchive that** ↳ leahsavajeffries destroyed him with one word that's insane

user1 she's so gorgeous it's killing me

user2 her photo dumps are so cute it's so RAHHHHH ↳ user3 thank you yn for keeping us fed

iamcharliebushnell no photo creds? thats crazy...... ↳ thelnarchive 📸: charlie bushnell  ↳ iamcharliebushnell thank you 😁

user4 she's so pretty, i would go to hell and back for her. she could be sent to the underworld and i would go and traverse the entire underworld for her and bring her back, have hades let me walk out with her only if i don't turn my back and bet you baby i'm no orpheus because you're coming home ↳ user5 this is so real but also what the fuck

dior.n.goodjohn PRETTIEST IN CAMP HALFBLOOD ↳ thelnarchive NO YOU!

iamcharliebushnell for everyone's information, she yapped for like the 2 hour makeup and hair session ↳ thelnarchive you weren't interested in the cultural impact of feminist retellings of mythology? 😔 ↳ iamcharliebushnell i didn't say i didn't listen to every bit

user6 yn ln being a yapper and charlie being a listener was not in my 2024 bingo card but it is pleasantly accepted ↳ user7 the chemistry is kind of crazy

bellie 💋 @G1LLMOREGRLS theres like less than 3 minutes of luke and rina screen time but the way they look at each other is insane. ik luke visiting rina before leaving was implied and like them him contacting her even after the attempt too i still want to see some because the potential angst is so insane 🗨 19 comments 🔁 129 retweets ❤️ 707 likes

user1 "i lost luke three times in my life." if they remove this it better be for something even more heartbreaking

user2 honestly truth i'm manifesting so hard to see some of their iris messages like i can just imagine it ↳ G1LLMOREGRLS oh my fucking god that's so true, i want to see luke begging her to come with him and then her begging him to change his mind

user3 i want the new seasons to come sooner because i trust in rick's capability to give us what we want 💳💳💳 ↳ user4 i trust in the editor's to make what rick gives us even better brah ↳ user5 what if i said lascotellan to a hozier song

user6 the show ate with levitating as the replacement for poker face in e6 so i'm expecting a tragic song for their scenes too ↳ G1LLMOREGRLS dare i say we get a scene of luke regretting his actions juxtaposed with a scene of him and rina arguing with her telling him to silver springs by fleetwood mac ↳ user6 LUKE AND RINA ARGUING OVER HIS ACTIONS TO SILVER SPRINGS. YOU'RE A FUCKING GENIUS OOMF ↳ G1LLMOREGRLS luke thinking about her constantly when he thinks abt why he shouldn't have done it is so "you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you"????

user7 YOU'RE SO CORRECT FOR THIS ‼️‼️ i'm so insane over them, tragic greek couple of the century

user8 i fear no one will ever beat rina saying she wanted to go to the underworld to get him back but deciding not to and letting him repent in elysium or try for reincarnation

liked by thelnarchives, dior.n.goodjohn, and 350,232 others iamcharliebushnell hanging out with the muse

thelnarchives you call me "the muse" so often i'm starting to think you don't know my first name anymore.... 🤨🤨🤨 ↳ iamcharliebushnell 😔 i would never do that to you muse ↳ thelnarchives i'm gonna start calling you traitor. ↳ user1 wat why would she call him traitor ↳ user2 oh you sweet summer child

user3 picture 3 is so cute i love her so much !!! and charlie's there too i guess

dior.n.goodjohn why are you hanging out with MY girlfriend ↳ iamcharliebushnell you snooze you lose :/

walker.scobell you owe me like 2 meals from our past bets and you keep saying your busy but obviously you're not??? ↳ iamcharliebushnell hanging out with the muse is a trip priority, man 🤷

user4 i'm obsessed with how charlie calls her muse they're so i want to Bite them. ↳ user5 he ate with the pet name

user6 that's actually me in the second photo guys

user7 WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HER HAND PLACEMENT IN THE THIRD PHOTO??? ↳ user8 girlie's just scratching her own cat

[angeljeonjk97]

BodyWork || Bell #1

Jungkook x reader

friends to lovers

18+ (fluff, smut)

warnings: mentions and descriptions of violence, mentions and use of drugs and alcohol,

Jeon Jungkook is not the same 19-year-old boy you used to know. Fame has really matured him, in more ways than one.

“You already know how I like it baby”

You sit behind the desk of your dad's gym, playing a mobile game on your phone, waiting for the last person to leave before you can lock up. It was now dark outside, the entire sky was pitch black, not even a star in the sky. Your head jolts up at the sound of the male changing room door opening.

A tall, muscular man with jet-black hair and an arm covered in tattoos wearing a plain white t-shirt and black basketball shorts, emerges from the opening door.

He glances over at me behind the black-painted desk,

"Yo! Where's your dad?" he asks you, throwing a towel over his shoulder.

Jungkook is a famous boxer and has been for the past 5 years, and the gym that your dad owns just so happens to be where he trains. Your dad has owned this boxing gym for as long as you can remember and many professionals have trained here, but none for as long as Jungkook.

"Oh, he left already," You respond after realising you were probably looking at him for a bit longer than you should have, "Why?"

He casually walks over to the desk, leaning against it slightly to speak to you.

"He said he wanted to tell me something but, it obviously wasn't that important," Jungkook pauses before taking a sip from his bottle that rested in his right hand.

Your dad has always been the type to never wait around for anyone. He will do what he wants in his own time, without thinking of others most of the time. That's not to say he's selfish or anything but he can be quite... let's just say... assertive sometimes.

"How's training?" you place your phone down on the desk, placing your elbows on the platform with your chin in your left hand, looking up at Jungkook's muscular frame.

He scoffs, standing up straight to face you properly, he spans his arms out to his sides, with a cocky smirk on his face,

"I'm gonna win, so easily"

You roll my eyes and smile at his painfully obvious act. Despite his skills and how he hasn't lost a single match in the past 3 years, Jungkook is one of the humblest people you know. You both have known each other for 8 years and even though he's 26 now and is known pretty much all over the world, he hasn't changed at all.

He laughs at your response before getting closer to the desk again.

"You need help locking up again?"

"Nah, I should be fine," You reply, swivelling around in the black leather barstool, jumping down and pulling the keys from your pocket, proceeding to lock the cash register up.

"You got a lift home?" The black-haired man asks watching you as you walk from behind the desk and towards the changing room doors.

"I'm taking the bus home,"

"The bus? Why didn't you ask me to take you home?"

You turn your head to him behind you, flashing him a small smile.

"I didn't want to bother you, Kook, you've already worked hard today," you answer honestly, looking at Jungkook as you walk up the stairs. He follows behind.

"Oh come on. I've told you before to ask me if you need a lift home, buses aren't safe at night," He raises his voice a little so you can still hear him, "I'm driving you home."

You stop what your doing before looking at him with a disappointed look.

"Jungkook, I'll be fine-"

"No, I am driving you home," He cuts you off, crossing his arms across his chest. He goes silent for a bit as you don't respond to him before he breaks it again with a declaring tone, "I'm going to my car, if I don't see you in the passenger seat next to me in five minutes I'm dragging you out of here."

His voice fades as he begins making his way back down the stairs. You shake your head with a smile, knowing that you can't say no to JK.

After a few minutes, you make your way out of the gym, locking the doors behind you and pulling the shutters down afterwards. Before you turn around, you hear the sound of a car pulling up behind you. Of course, when you turn around it's a black Mercedes, that had Jungkook sitting behind the steering wheel. you open the passenger door seating yourself next to him, in which he sets off a few seconds later.

Once he parks up outside your apartment complex you turn to Jungkook,

"Thank you again, kook, but like I said, you don't have to be my taxi driver all the time. Someone might see you"

Jungkook shrugs back, his tattooed arm leaning against the steering wheel, "So what if someone sees me? It's not like you're in here giving me a blowjob or something"

You slap him on the arm with the back of your hand, giving him a disapproving look. He laughs back casually as these types of crude jokes are common coming from him.

"I'll walk you in," Jungkook says as he swings his car door open before you are doing the same.

Making your way up the stairs Jungkook remains behind you the entire time, looking up through the hole that the stacked up stairs, all leading to different floors, created.

Reaching your apartment door, you pull your keys out from your pocket, rattling them in your door, as Jungkook watches over you from behind.

"You coming in?" you ask looking up at him from behind innocently.

"Aw nah, not today y/n. It's late and I gotta be up early again tomorrow for training," He gives you a guilty look, glancing into your apartment, "I promise I'll be over soon though"

You give him a sad smile, remembering how much time he used to spend at your place with you. Because of his big fight in 2 months, he's been busy since the beginning of the year and hasn't spent as much time with you as you had liked, but you're not mad. You understand how tiring training can be, plus it's not like you two don't hang out at all anymore, you still make time for each other when it's possible.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then?" You respond, walking into your apartment and facing him again.

"Goodnight y/n"

index-next->

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:

hiii, I hope you all liked this chapter. I know not a lot has happened but I promise it'll get better from here. This was just a little introduction to y/n and Jungkook's relationship and lore explaining. I'm so excited for this new fic so I hope you're all just as excited as I am. Please look out for when new chapters come out!!!

[puckpocketed]

5/08/2023 - Berkly Catton captains Team Canada to gold at the Hlinka Gretzky Cup, leading the tournament with 8 goals and 2 assists in 10 games || 19/01/2024 Meet the Future - Berkly Catton named Team White's captain for the CHL/NHL Top Prospects Game || 5/07/2024 - Berkly Catton signs his ELC with the Seattle Kraken

Introduction, quotes/transcripts/bits and pieces under the cut!

I can't even begin to describe how jazzed I am that Berkly Catton got drafted to a team I already love. I wrote in my Sharks off-season roundup that I was hoping against hope Catton would drop to 14th overall (back before we had moved up to 11th) and the Sharks would snap him up, as unlikely as it was that they'd try to gather more firepower when we sorely needed defensive prospects. I'm so glad I got my wish one way or another <3

Krakenblr you will LOVE this dude. He's such a star. Such a character. Berkly Catton is so, SO fun to watch. You have no idea!!! I followed him in the months leading up to the draft because there was buzz that he might be available lower down because of the Height Issue (he is, tragically, 5'11 <- which makes him undraftable unfortch) + concerns with how his game will translate to the NHL level. He is an electrifying playmaker. He's so creative, throws in so many fakes, WILL break ankles, very good hands... ough <3 everything I personally love to see in a forward all rolled into one neat little package !!!

There's the suggestion that he's been "over-scouted," which really just means they've all been watching him so long they're probably overthinking things and looking for stuff to critique. I'm inclined to believe this take over the other one because I'm an optimist and he was one of my little guys going into the draft! I won't include more of that here, but there's plenty of material out there if you'd like to look for it.

Below are some of my favourite bits and pieces from media he's appeared in <3

“I don’t like to give it away (pause) but I look at guys before games,” Catton revealed. “What’s weird is going from midget to junior hockey is a big jump. Last year I was learning. This year I wanted to add stuff. My pregame stuff and to look at guys doing draws and seeing what works. That’s pre-scouting on my end. If a guy has a certain move, and you can trump it early, it gets in his head a little bit. That helped quite a bit.”

“I think I sometimes have a problem with passing the puck too much. I love seeing my teammates score and setting up for an open net. It’s one of my favourite things in hockey, if not my favourite,” Catton admitted. “That’s something I can work on. When I get a chance put it home kind of thing. I got better this year at it’s still something I’d like to improve. Honestly, I’m a pass first mentality guy I would say.”

- Berkly Catton’s video scouting has improved his overall game

You know, when I first read and saved this article I was like; this prospect who reviews VIDEO is gonna haunt me. That's my weakness btw, I'm freak4freak. If you tell me a hockey player is also deeply infatuated with the game to the point of reviewing tape in their free time that's IT for me. it's JOEVER. i have a type and i know it <3 also wowie a pass-first guy who gets really really happy when his teammates score??? crying. crying. Berkly Catton . tucking uou gently away <3 forever <3

From A Day in the Life: Berkly Catton & Conner Roulette

Fave movie is The Notebook (<- unrelated there's a . really funny comment on this video from a philly fan lamenting that Catton likes the Notebook - I assume because that's some uhhh how do the kids call it,, femme soyboy shit? lmao anyway stay LOSING toxic masculinity !!!)

The boys call him 'Berk' <3

He talks about Jack Hughes being a big influence on him (in other media, he gives Hughes as a player comp!) and going to hang out and work with the Hughes family in Michigan. I sense a thread of admiration here like it's such a sweet little crush LOL <3 I hope he notices you Berkly !!

he gives the player of the match hat to a coach/trainer (one of the two) it's lovely... ouhhh... good little fella so polite and so conscious of staff being the foundation of his success... mwah!!

From Berkly Catton Talks Hockey Sense, His Start In Hockey & More | Game Tape With Tony

His father and grandfather built him a rink in his backyard, very sweet.

1OA in the WHL draft!

Anime main character levels of training-arc... my guy shot thousands of pucks over the summer in his backyard and then came back suddenly able to score goals. <- this is where the DIY goalie made of wood and blocker pads comes in. lol. lmao. are u even real.

sorry. sorry. OLEN ZELLWEGER MENTION. <- one of my personal favourite little guys (undersized puck moving defensemen my BELOVED) "Kind of a funny story [...] I pretty much had a breakaway, when he just turned backwards and played it as a 1-on-1 somehow, and I was like 'wow, this guy's the real deal', so." I really liked how Catton easily recalled a specific person/moment when asked who challenged him the most in the WHL; I think it speaks to a thoughtfulness about the game - it would've been easy to just give a vague Oh Everyone Is Good answer here and I like that he didn't!

There's a section where he talks about how he got so good at stick lifting, such an interesting perspective I never considered - he played in situations and against people where he couldn't just throw his body around to win, so he had to learn to get the puck in other ways. KEVIN KORCHINSKI MENTION <- another one of my little guys <3

mentions his dad being a big influence on his 'patience'. parents are so funny to me. ur watching your sons juniors matches? and Ohhhhh Chris Catton was a hockey player too . it all makes sense. Berkly Catton product of jockdad like so many before him <3

I do love that throughout this interview, Catton defers to his linemates a lot. Always hyping them up and talking about how he owes his success to them. it could be construed as false humility, given Catton was the highest scoring draft-eligible in the league - but he really does go out of his way to emphasise how highly he regards them and how much of their on-ice success is owed to good chemistry built up over the entire season. It strikes me as genuine!! He's a good boy <3

Revealed he can solve a rubix cube at the end... wow... he just liek me fr...

PLEASE watch this on-ice interview where he's chatting after a game and then gets ABSOLUTELY WASTED by 5 water bottles and all the boys. he is clearly so so so beloved in that locker room waaaahhh <3

Anyway this isn't an exhaustive list but it IS a lot of the reasons why I really liked him pre-draft. welcome to the deep Berkly <3

[ageravena]

You know what, the Fairly OddParents fandom has been quite tame. Let's spice things up a little bit.

Doesn't anybody else get that silly feeling when you see fanart of Peri being like a father to Dev, like... where's the rest of you 😍? Don't be shy, show us where Dale is. Or are you too scared? (I wouldn't blame you, I was too at first)

Small warning: this post includes slight swearing and many brain-numbing headcanons. I'm not responsible for any mental anguish you may experience

I would like to quickly apologize to the 6 people shipping Peri with Dale. I thought I was the only one but it seems like I've finally found my people. Anyways, back to the topic.

Now that you're here, I may as well show some more art of these two goobers +some silly headcanons. These are my AUed* versions of the two in my odd semi-realistic style that I completely ditch whenever I don't have the patience to draw faces (I often suck at drawing them. No wonder all my OCs are furries)

Note: him being slightly chubby and him having mobility issues are both headcanons I have shamelessly borrowed from others in the fandom. Also am I the only one who thinks Peri WOULDN'T be 6 ft tall? In the series he's like 5 apples tall, so wouldn't it make sense for him to be a bit short?

Note: there's like a bunch of lore explaining the reason why Dale looks so fucked up in my version. I scarred him for life, oopsie! But at least he has Peri now who "forces" him to go to therapy 😍. I may need to make a seperate post where I only talk about him and his past if I have the motivation.

I know a lot of you don't even know the pain of trying to convert a stylized character into a realistic style and still making them look good and kinda recognizable. I envy you who have less realistic art styles.

*And yes, I did say AU. More specifically I'm talking about the "Missionaries of Eden AU" (by me). I'm not gonna go into detail now, but basically it's a semi-biblical and more serious take on FOP, where the fairies are angels, anti-fairies are demons and pixies... I think they can stay as pixies, or maybe they're ghosts, bees? (There's a lot of things I still need to figure out) Their tasks are to work as missionaries on the planets of Eden (planets where life exists). There's a bunch of other lore (some of which I've explained on my casual/personal account on Instagram), but it's best I leave it for another time.

Btw: if you've seen me talk about a "Below the Stars AU", "Bible AU", "Ager DLC" or something else, it's all just the same thing. I just had a hard time coming up with a good name for it lol.

Also speaking of which, I have another post coming up (hopefully) where I explain my reasons for shipping Peri and Dale. It can honestly, out of context, seem like a toxic yaoi crack ship, but believe it or not but I managed to make it the opposite; plausible AND healthy. I want to enlighten you all plus I really want to yap about them.

It feels super funny to ship such a underrated ship. I'm used to shipping semi-popular ships, so to now be all alone feels kinda fun! They have so much potential and so few are seeing the vision?? Though to be fair I'm also glad it's not that famous lmao.

Ps. Ignore the fact I haven't posted anything here for at least half-a-year. All my mutuals are on Instagram, so I don't have a need to post here, though now I've decided to dedicate this account to hyperfixation slop so maybe you'll be hearing from me much sooner.

Ps. Ps. I currently have a 22-page-long google doc filled with lore and info about almost everything I've thought of for the AU, but it's 80% in Finnish so sharing it is useless.

Man, I love writing unnecessary long posts knowing I'm the only one reading them❤️😍 though if you HAVE gotten this far, here's a little treat:

My body refuses to draw Dale in his original outfit. I like to pretend Peri helped him change a bit (most notably taking off his goddamn shoes, though they do have some lore that I've created. GGHHRRAAA EVERYTHING HAS LORE ATTACHED TO IT GRRRR). Also Dev isn't actually grumpy, he just likes to act tough.

My art style looks probably so inconsistent❤️

[hobeemin]

stop, kiss

🛍️ genre(s): romance, angst, drama, fluff, college au, 90s au (based on Can’t Hardly Wait)

🛍️ pairing: joshua hong x poc (f) reader

🛍️ summary: joshua wasn’t what you called popular back in high school, in fact, he was practically invisible. what happens when he runs into his childhood crush in college after growing into his looks? awhole lot of shenanigans ensue.

🛍️ rating: pg15

🛍️ warning(s): swearing, frat parties, drinking, bullying, fights

🛍️ word count: 5.6k

🛍️ credits: shout out to @wooahaeproductions​ thank you maren for looking this over at the last minute! 💜💜💜

banner resources found here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

🛍️ a/n: this is for the Now thats 90s SVT collab. Huge thanks to @beomcoups and @mingiblr 

“This is it.”

Jeonghan side-eyed his friend as they walked across the grassy quad. “What are you going on about?”

Joshua swept his arms in a comprehensive motion. “This. College. It’s the start of our lives.”

“But that’s what you said when we were freshmen in high school.”

Joshua’s arms dropped as red crept up his cheeks. “Okay, but this is gonna be different. This is us being adults. Conquering obstacles–”

“Joshua–”

“–reaching goals–”

“Joshua–”

“–going the distance–”

Jeonghan closed his eyes as Joshua ran straight into a bench and flipped over, landing on his back. Instantly, the quad filled with laughter. He groaned as his vision filled with stars, trying to get his bearings. It wasn’t until a face appeared that his senses came back.

Was she an angel?

He blinked once. Then twice.

The worry on her face was replaced with relief when she noticed he was alert.

“Oh, good. You’re okay.”

“I think so,” he mumbled, trying to stand.

“Maybe we should wait for the paramedics to get here,” she mused.

Jeonghan nodded in agreement. “Someone’s calling for them right now.”

“Seriously. I’m okay!” A smile spread across his face as he began to rise. It faltered quickly as his legs wobbled.

Jeonghan grabbed his arm, guiding him to the bench.

“Sit. Now.”

“Yes, please do,” she said in agreement.

The paramedics arrived quickly, getting to work on assessing his injuries.

Honestly, he was okay. His head hurt a bit, but they were fussing over nothing. He didn’t need any more embarrassment on his first day as a college freshman. Jeonghan gave her a polite smile.

“Thanks for helping. He’s a little stubborn, but I know he appreciates it.”

“It’s alright. I’m just happy to know he’s okay,” she said with a smile.

“Y/N!”

She looked up at the sound of her name. A group of people were waving to her. She put her hand up and turned to Jeonghan.

“I have to go, but it was nice talking to you. I hope your friend feels better!”

Joshua heard the name from the stretcher, and realization crossed his face slowly. “Jeonghan!”

His friend ran over to him. “What?!”

“Was that Y/N?! As in Y/N Y/L/N?!”

“Uh, that’s a stretch. I mean, there’s a lot of Y/Ns–”

“No…I’m sure of it. That was her!”

“Joshua–”

“Humor me. What if that was her? It’s fate! We were meant to meet once more. It’s destiny–Ow!”

The stretcher dropped, making him bump his head against the bar. Jeonghan shook his head in disbelief. 

“This is gonna be a long year.”

---

With Jeonghan in tow, Joshua walked into the student center, looking around. By then, a few months had passed, and everyone had forgotten about his blunder on the first day of class. He thought it best to keep a low profile during the semester.

Joshua was always hopeful of running into Y/N on campus. Occasionally, he’d see her walking around, but every time he tried to speak up, he got tongue-tied, or a group of people would surround her. It seemed like he’d never get a chance.

One breezy fall afternoon, Joshua sat against a large oak tree, strumming his guitar. Jeonghan joined him moments later, dropping down next to him with a plastic bag. Reaching in, he took out some snacks, crunching on some chips while Joshua played. He hummed a few bars before taking out a small notebook. Jeonghan noticed a worn folded piece of paper fall out and scooped it up. 

“What’s this?”

Joshua yelped, trying to reach for it, but Jeonghan pulled it out of reach. With a grin, he opened it up and read the contents. His eyes widened as he turned to his friend.

“I can’t believe you still have that letter.”

His face warmed as he snatched it away, stuffing it into his pocket. “It’s not that serious, Jeonghan.”

“Oh, is it not? Cause keeping a letter you wrote countless times back in high school to a girl who didn’t know you existed is pretty strange.”

Joshua rolled his eyes before returning to his guitar, strumming the strings absentmindedly. Was he being delusional at this point? Should he just give up on his crush?

“Maybe I’ll give up. It’s stupid,” he mumbled.

Jeonghan frowned slightly, noting how Joshua’s mood had darkened. The last thing he wanted was for his friend to be down.

Joshua returned his guitar to its case and stood up. Jeonghan looked at him curiously. “You got class?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m done for the day. I might go back to the dorm to study. I’ll see you later.”

He waved before walking off, leaving Jeonghan alone. Leaning against the tree, he sighed heavily. He had to get Joshua out of this funk somehow. 

But what to do?

Something fluttered in the corner of his eye. It was the letter from Joshua’s pocket!

An idea began to form in his mind, making him chuckle. 

Yep, this might work after all.

---

Y/N sat there toying with the straw from her milkshake, bored and only half listening to the conversation around the table. Honestly, did they have anything worth talking about? There had to be more to life than when the next party would be or how many kegs they could drink. Still, she humored her friends, offering a laugh now and then.

“Right, Y/N?”

She blinked, looking up from her milkshake. “Huh?”

Her friend Irene rolled her eyes before sipping her diet Pepsi. “Were you even listening?”

She shook her head as a groan surrounded the table. She shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

Irene sighed heavily. “The party—the one the Sigma Lambdas have every fall for Halloween—is happening this Friday.”

“Oh,” Y/N said, distracted once more. “Oh, yeah. I guess I’ll come.”

“We have no choice. Plus, Mingyu is gonna be there,” Irene added.

Y/N’s nose wrinkled in distaste. “And I would care because…”

“Jeez, Y/N, get with the program. Your boyfriend is gonna be there .”

“Correction, ex-boyfriend, and that makes it all the more reason not to go.”

Irene let out a noise of exasperation. “I don’t get you sometimes. If anything, this is the perfect opportunity to go and prove you don’t need him.”

“Whatever. We’ll see how I feel,” Y/N grumbled.

It wasn’t like her friends would listen anyway. She dated Mingyu all through high school. Meeting him on her first day, they became the ‘it’ couple and were at the hip. While they seemed like the quintessential high school romance, Mingyu was relatively immature in many ways. It was too much their senior year, and Y/N called it quits. He took it so well, insulting her intelligence and saying she’d regret it, but that only solidified her decision.

Of course, this was after they promised to go to the same university together, and now she was stuck with him for another four years.

Again, she ignored her friends' discussions and stared out the window, sipping her milkshake. When three fraternity brothers from Sigma Lambda Theta walked into the cafe and approached their table, Y/N and her friends looked up with interest.

“Heard you ladies were coming to our party,” one said.

Irene nodded. “Yeah, wouldn’t miss it. Heard y’all have a lot planned.”

Seungcheol eyed Y/N curiously, nudging Soonyoung. He pointed his chin towards her. “You’re Y/N?”

Her brow lifted in interest. “I am. And you’re Seungcheol?”

“Heard a lot about you.”

“Is that a fact?” she chuckled, sipping her milkshake. “Can’t always believe what you hear.”

Seungcheol smirked with a nod. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Soonyoung grinned. “Don’t forget to wear your best costume. Masks included.”

“What are you going as?” Y/N inquired.

The shorter of the three shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Please don’t get him started. He hasn’t shut up about it all month.”

“Jihoon, lighten up. You’re just jealous.”

“Sure.”

Seungcheol cleared his throat, shooting the girls a smile. “Anyway. Gonna be a great time,” he shot Y/N a look. “Save me a dance?”

Y/N shrugged with a laugh. “Maybe. I like to keep my options open.”

“Sounds good to me. See y’all later.”

As the guys walked away, a glint flashed in Irene’s eye.

“What do you think about them, Y/N?”

“Them? Them who?”

Irene frowned once more, shaking her head in disappointment. “You acting clueless? The Sigma Lambdas! Isn’t Mingyu trying to pledge? Wouldn’t showing up with the frat's president as your date be funny?”

Y/N sighed in exasperation. “I’m really not trying to date right now. I’d rather focus on my studies–”

“All I hear is blah, blah, blah.”

“What do you want me to say? It’s not the end of the world. I mean, they are cute, but–” she argued.

“Whatever Y/N. If you want to be alone, that's fine, too.”

“Life isn’t always about having a boyfriend, Irene.”

“You worry about what you do, and I’ll worry about me,” Irene retorted.

Y/N stood up from the table, nearly knocking down the drinks. “I guess friendship isn’t the biggest priority either.”

Without another word, she stormed off, leaving the rest of them alone in the cafe.

---

The next few days passed without much drama. Even though Y/N and Irene made up, there was still some tension between them, regardless of their saying everything was okay. So many things ran through her mind that her concentration was off in class. Only one day after one of her lectures, the professor called her up as the class was leaving for her to notice.

Y/N slung one strap over her shoulder, gathered her books, and approached her professor’s desk.

“Yes, Professor?”

He pulled up a file, flipping through the papers. “I normally wouldn’t say anything, but you’ve been doing so well in class, Miss Y/L/N. Is everything alright?”

Damn it. 

She nodded her head, trying to smile. “Of course. Maybe I'm just a little burnt out this semester with my credits, but I’m okay.”

He sighed, handing over a folder to her. “I’m going to give you a chance to work on this research paper again. I know you can do better than this. I’ll accept it next Friday.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

Slipping the folder into her bag, she walked out of the classroom, her thoughts swirling. It wasn't until the last minute that she bumped into Joshua coming out of the building. She jumped with a start as her books fell to the ground. Joshua blinked, staring at her before scrambling to pick the books.

“Are you okay?”

She willed herself to smile, taking the books from him. “We have to stop meeting like this. How’s that bump on your head?”

Joshua sheepishly grinned as he rubbed the spot. 

“I'm never gonna live that down, but I'm alright.”

Now that she was in front of him, he was too nervous to speak. Did she even recognize him from high school?

Clearing his throat, he tapped her shoulder politely. Y/N turned to look at him curiously. 

“Yes?”

“Your name wouldn't happen to be Y/N Y/L/N, right?”

Her brow quirked. “Um, yes. Why do you ask?”

“Well

“Y/N!!!!”

She looked past Joshua with a frown. 

Mingyu was walking towards her with Seungcheol. His smile faltered as he saw Joshua standing next to her. “No fucking way…Bambi goes here!”

Joshua’s face paled upon hearing that name. Of all the people who had shown up here at this very moment…Mingyu had managed to graduate and get into a university?! 

His knees buckled as Mingyu’s hand slammed into his back in greeting. Joshua had to hold the wall to keep from dropping to the floor. Y/N’s eyes glanced from him to Mingyu in confusion.

“Bambi?”

Mingyu rolled his eyes with a laugh, nudging Seungcheol. “Dude always looked like a deer in headlights, especially when he was our mascot and got tackled.”

Seungcheol started to chuckle as Joshua attempted to back away slowly. Mingyu grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him into a headlock, giving him a noogie. Joshua grunted, trying to loosen his grip.

“So what you doin’ talking to my girlfriend, Bambi?”

Y/N scoffed with a roll of her eyes. “Ex-girlfriend, Mingyu. And let him go, please. Let’s be adults.”

A pout formed on his face as he let Joshua go reluctantly. “Seriously? Y/N–”

“Save it,” she snapped. Her expression softened as she took Joshua’s hand into hers. “Walk me back to my dorm?”

His eyes widened in surprise. “U-Um s-sure!”

“You’re sweet.”

She smiled, barely acknowledging Mingyu and Seungcheol, as she walked out of the building with Joshua in tow, still dazed by the unfolding events.

Mingyu’s eyes narrowed, watching the pair walk off.

“That geek is gonna pay,” he mumbled, storming out of the building.

---

Joshua hardly touched his drink as Y/N placed it before him. She removed the wrapper around her straw and stuck it in her milkshake. Her brow quirked in interest.

“Sooo. You went to our high school?”

Joshua finally grabbed his cup and took a generous sip. “Uh huh.”

Her lips turned downward, trying to recall his face. “I don’t know why I can’t remember you.”

He shrugged, trying to shake his disappointment. “I-It’s not like you would have noticed. We didn’t run in the same circles.”

Something about that statement made her stomach drop. Sure, she’d been what you’d consider popular, but Y/N was pleasant with everyone she came across.

“What were you into back then?”

Joshua sat back as the tension slowly drifted from his shoulders. “Band, mostly marching and pep. I was in the film club and tried out for the soccer team, but…yeah.”

Y/N nodded in understanding. “You seemed to have a lot of interests. I’m surprised we didn’t run into each other.”

“Well, Y/N, we have been in the same classes since freshmen year.”

Her cheeks felt hot, and Joshua fumbled as he tried to change the subject. “I-I’m not saying it like it’s a bad thing. It’s just how life happens. Our school was big, so it’s okay.”

The relief passed her face. The last thing she wanted was for someone to recall her being self-absorbed. 

A smile formed on her lips, which he returned wholeheartedly. “Well, it’s time for new beginnings.”

“Agreed.”

After a brief silence, she looked at him and asked, “Are you good with music theory?”

His brows lifted as he nodded. “Oh yeah! I took those in high school! Do you have any questions about it?”

“Do I?” she said with a laugh. Y/N pulled out her research paper and handed it to him. “I got an extension to write a better one.”

He flipped through the pages with a hum. “I see. Do you want help? I’d be happy to give some insight.”

Y/N beamed at him. “I’d owe you a huge one!”

Joshua smiled. “That’s not necessary. How about we meet Friday night at the library to discuss the details.”

Realization dawned on her as her smile faltered. Joshua’s brows knitted.

“Is something wrong?”

“N-No, it’s just there’s this party on Friday–”

“Oh. Well, you should go.”

She sighed, falling back against the booth cushion. “That’s the problem. I really don’t want to.”

“So don’t go,” he reasoned.

“It’s not that simple–”

“It kind of is. Don’t force yourself into things just because your friends want to,” he interrupted. His eyes widened again, and red crept onto his face.

“I-I’m sorry. That wasn’t my place to say.”

Y/N let out a genuine laugh for the first time in weeks. “Honestly, that was the most honest response I’ve gotten. People always try to hide the truth.”

“Some people suck,” he said matter-of-factly.

She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Why don’t you come to the party?”

“M-Me?”

“Why not? It definitely would make my night better,” she exclaimed.

He looked at her in astonishment. Y/N sipped her milkshake, trying to cover up her bashfulness. “I mean…the more the merrier, ya know.”

“I’ll see what's going on that day,” he decided. He was not ecstatic about the invitation but didn't want to get his hopes up. Being near her was almost enough for him.

“Okay,” she said, trying to hide her disappointment.

They returned to idle chatter the rest of the time, realizing they had much more in common than each had known. He eventually said his goodbyes, promising to give her the paper back after he made any edits. Walking back to his dorm, he thought about their time together. Y/N was amazing in so many ways. Joshua would have fallen even deeper in love with her if he hadn’t already fallen madly in love.

He stopped in his tracks.

Love?

Shaking his head, he unlocked the door with a scoff. What did he know about love?

The letter.

Damn it.

That letter.

Groaning to himself, he walked inside to Jeonghan, who was reading at his desk. Jeonghan looked up from his book at his friend's expression. 

“You alright?”

Still in a daze, Joshua plopped on his bed, blinking. “Y-Yeah.”

Jeonghan hummed, going back to his book until Joshua spoke up.

“I spent time with her.”

“Her?”

“Y/N.”

Jeonghan placed his book down and faced Joshua with interest. “What? What happened?”

Joshua recalled the events the best he could, grimacing at the part when Mingyu appeared and his conflicting feelings about the party.

Jeonghan let it all sink in before talking. 

“Well, now you gotta go to the frat party.”

“Yeah, but Mingyu’s gonna be there.”

“So? Y/N personally invited you. It seems she wants you there, and that’s enough. Who cares what everyone will say? We’ll have fun, you’ll see.”

Joshua sighed heavily, looking up at the ceiling. He was taking a chance. This could be the start of something great or crash and burn in utter disaster.

Time to take a gamble.

---

When Y/N and her friends arrived, the party was in full swing. She watched as people ran around the house throwing balloons filled with water. Irene screeched, jumping in place as one splashed by her feet, nearly getting her costume wet.

“Watch it!”

Irene let out a sound of exasperation. “Do I look okay?”

Y/N fought to roll her eyes. 

“You look fine.”

Irene beamed as she twirled in the black, red, and white plaid two-piece. She adjusted the hat on her head. “We’re gonna be the popular people here. Clueless was a hit!”

Y/N adjusted the skirt on hers. She would have instead gone as Dionne, but Irene insisted she be the Cher. Arguing would have been fruitless if she wanted any attention on her, so Y/N just went with the flow. Heads indeed turned as they walked by. Seungcheol appeared out of nowhere, clearly red-faced from the alcohol. 

“You made it!”

Y/N held back the eye roll from Irene’s giggles.

Seungcheol gestured to them with the beer can in his hand. “You’ll be the girls from that movie, right?”

“Like totally!”

He grinned, setting his gaze on Y/N. “Would you like something to drink Y/N?”

Irene pushed past; a Cheshire grin spread wide. “We’d love something to drink.”

He chuckled, watching Y/N’s reaction. Y/N held back the eye roll, threatening to appear.

 “C’mon, I’ll show you where the drinks are.”

They followed Seungcheol into the kitchen. The entire counter was covered in various drinks, from malt beverages to cheap vodka, anything to get someone entirely buzzed. Mingyu stood near a silver basin, stirring the bright red liquid. He looked up, making eye contact with Y/N as he waved. Grabbing a few cups, he poured the liquid in, adding some pineapples, strawberries, and oranges. 

Y/N stared at the cup in scrutiny as Irene happily sipped on hers. 

“This is so good! What is it?”

Mingyu tapped his glass against Seungcheol’s. “We call it carat juice.”

 Y/N’s brow raised, giving him a deadpan stare. “Wow, so clever.”

“I thought so,” Mingyu answered with a smug look.

She sighed heavily, looking around for anything to get her away. 

“Just enjoy yourself tonight, Y/N. It’s the least you can do. You’re being so uptight,” Irene taunted.

What the hell was wrong with her? Irene had been doing too much lately, and Y/N was letting her ‘friend’s’ words get to her.

“Fine.”

She chugged the drink back, trying not to cough at the alcohol burning down her throat regardless of the sweetness in the cup. She wiped her mouth off and ran towards the dance floor. Maybe sweating for a few hours would help make her numb to the whole thing.

Joshua and Jeonghan walked inside, looking around at the scenery. Very few people were wearing original costumes. Most were dressed in bedsheets as ghosts or togas.

“You sure we got the right costume?”

Jeonghan shot Joshua a look. “No one else is gonna have it.”

Suddenly, someone shouted from across the room, " I'm a dude. He’s a dude. She’s a dude. So we’re all dudes!”

A snort passed Joshua’s lips, and he waved, giving a thumbs up. Jeonghan gave him a smug look. “See?”

“Fine. This was the way to go.”

He adjusted the paper hat on his head before smoothing the striped blue and white shirt. Okay. So maybe Jeonghan's idea of being a Good Burger employee wasn’t a bad idea after all. As he got more comfortable in his skin, he opened up more to talk with the people at the party.

“Oh, you play the guitar?”

Joshua nodded as he sipped his drink. The guy slapped his back, causing his knees to buckle. “We always have a jam session in the quad in the afternoon. You should join us.”

“BAMBI!”

Joshua let out an audible groan. 

Shit.

Mingyu pushed through; cheeks reddened from the alcohol. Joshua tried not to recoil from the smell of his breath. Wrapping his arm around Joshua, he waved his cup, slooshing the liquid all over the floor. 

“Didn’t think you’d show up,” he slurred.

Joshua removed his arm, sidestepping away from him. “Uh. Yeah. I was invited.”

“Who’d invite you?”

“I did.”

Both men looked up as Y/N appeared, the growing crowd parting for her to pass. Joshua felt his heart still as she smiled at him. 

“I’m happy you made it, Joshua,” she said.

“T-Thanks,” he gushed out.

Y/N gave him a nod of approval. “I like your costume.”

“I like yours too,” he said with a grin.

Feeling neglected, Mingyu glanced between the two, not liking how the conversation was going. He managed to get Seungcheol’s attention. Both men nodded, and devious grins appeared. 

Y/N smiled at Joshua, cocking her head in the direction of the kitchen. “Wanna get a drink? There’s this jungle juice–”

Red liquid splashed over Joshua, covering him from head to toe. Laughter erupted around the room. Y/N looked shocked as Mingyu and Seongcheol bent over, shaking with laughter. The empty red cups were enough evidence for her.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Mingyu snorted back a laugh, trying to look serious. “What? It was just a joke.”

Y/N shot Joshua with a sympathetic look as Jeonghan appeared, handing him a crumple of paper towels. Joshua tried to wipe off the liquid in vain, feeling the stickiness cover his skin. Trying to keep his cool, he walked up, heading up the stairs without a word. Y/N snarled as she punched Mingyu in the arm with a hiss. “You’re such an asshole, Mingyu!”

He shrugged, giving Seungcheol a fist bump. “Eh, what else is new.”

Shaking her head in disgust, she stormed off as everyone watched in awe. 

Joshua found himself in a bathroom upstairs, trying to avoid getting the stain out of his shirt. Luckily, he ran into Woozi, who you called Jihoon before. That frat member was kind enough to tell him about the bathroom away from the crowd while he got himself together.

“Remember not to close the door all the way. The knob sticks.”

He threw the towel into the sink. It was useless—both the stain and possibly talking to Y/N.

“Maybe it’s just not meant to be,” he mumbled to his reflection. He couldn’t go back out there. It didn't look like that. He sighed heavily and sat on the toilet seat, a dark cloud hovering over him.

Jeonghan found Y/N quickly. She sat outside, away from the smokers, attempting to get some fresh air. He stepped closer until she noticed him standing near her.

“Hi. You’re Y/N, right?”

She looked up, guarded at first, as her brow quirked. 

“Do I know you?”

Jeonghan stepped back, giving her some space. “I'm sorry. I’m Joshua's friend. You probably don't remember me, but we went to the same high school.”

“Oh,” she gave him a small smile. “Sorry, it’s just been kind of crazy tonight. What’s your name again?”

“Jeonghan,” he answered. “Listen, have you seen him? I’ve been looking for him for a while.”

“No, I was just about to go look myself.”

“He can’t be too far off. This house isn’t that big. Wanna help me find him?”

She nodded as he gave her room to walk. Just as Jeonghan turned, something fell from his pocket. Y/N paused, seeing the envelope with her name on it. She picked it up, twirling it between her hands. 

“Jeonghan?”

“Hmm?”

She held up the envelope before his eyes. “Why do you have something with my name on it?”

Oh shit.

Jeonghan shrugged, letting out a scoff. “I didn’t drop that.”

Y/N crossed her hands over her chest, tapping her platform boots on the deck. “Oh really? So this just magically appeared before you?”

“Yep.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yep.”

Her eyes narrowed, looking it over. “Well then, it’s no big deal if I open it, right?”

“Yep–wait! No!”

Jeonghan lunged forward, tripping as he tried to grab the letter. Y/N pulled it out of reach with a smug look.

“So obviously, this means a lot to you, but it has my name on it.”

“D-Don’t read it! It’s not mine to give!”

She stared at him, waving it in front of his face. “Then who did?”

Jeonghan dropped his head in defeat. “It was Joshua,” he mumbled.

“What was that?”

“It was Joshua…he wrote it.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. Suddenly, the envelope felt heavier than usual. Should she open it? Something was always there in the few times she ran into Joshua. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she felt so much at ease in the little time she spent around him. It wasn’t like with her friends. She didn’t need to put on an act.

“Should I open it?”

Jeonghan wiped off the dirt from his costume as he stood up. “Honestly, it’s up to you, but whatever you decide involves you and Josh.”

Biting her lip, she glanced from Jeonghan to the envelope before sliding her finger under the flap. The notebook paper was stained with age, and the creases were deep from constant folding. The black ink was partially smeared on the paper as the words looped along the lines.

Her eyes scanned the words, silently reading them to herself. Jeonghan watched the emotions change on her face with interest. What could she be thinking? Y/N cleared her throat as she folded the paper and placed it in her pocket.

“Excuse me.”

She ran off back inside the house. Jeonghan secretly patted himself on the back.

Joshua, you owe me.

Y/N ran up the stairs, looking for anyone familiar. Towards the end of the hall, a door was propped open. She knocked on it gently, waiting for an answer. When none came, she stepped in to see Joshua leaning against the window, eyes closed. 

“Joshua?”

His eyes fluttered open as his head turned toward his name. His jaw dropped when he saw her standing in front of him.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

“Uh–”

Y/N started to close the door, looking at him with concern. “Are you sure? 

“Wait!”

Y/N jumped in surprise just as the door shut behind her. Joshua tried catching the knob to no avail. Groaning, he leaned against the counter.

Y/N violently shook the doorknob, but the stubborn door did not budge. She gave a few sharp knocks, pausing to listen for any voices.

Nothing.

Joshua shook his head in disappointment. “Told ya.”

“Yeah. Thanks,” she snapped, leaning on the door. 

Joshua scoffed as he stared at her in disbelief. “What’s your deal? It’s not my fault. I tried to warn you about it.” She sat against the sink with a defeated sigh, looking anywhere but at Joshua. But he didn’t warn her.

“So we’re stuck?”

“Yep. I doubt anyone will come this way. The party is loud enough they won’t hear the knocks or us.”

“Lovely,” she said, rubbing her eyes.

He glanced at her curiously. “Not to be rude, but what are you doing here?”

Y/N gave him a stern look. “Duh, looking for you.”

“Why?”

“Well–”

“Felt bad about your boyfriend spilling his drink on me?” 

She could hear the hurt in his voice. “He’s not my boyfriend, Joshua. You know that.”

“Do I? Wasn’t this some ploy to mock me?” His tone was accusatory. 

Y/N’s jaw dropped in shock. “What? No! Why on earth would you think that?”

He shrugged, fiddling with the buttons of his shirt. “I don’t know. People suck.”

“You think I’m like them?”

Joshua met her gaze, seeing the sadness in her eyes. He was projecting, and he knew it. In frustration, he ran his hands through his hair. “No. No, I never thought that. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s okay. I understand. People do suck. Maybe I was like them before, but I don’t wanna be like them anymore.”

He nodded in understanding. “That’s mature of you.”

“Hardly.”

The quiet fell between them, with only the muffled sound of the music in the background. Y/N pulled the letter out of her pocket and opened it up.

“It may sound silly, but nothing else seemed to matter when you walked into my life. I spent so much time wondering how or when I’d speak to you. If I ever shared a space with you, I’d thank the stars for this opportunity.”

Joshua felt the blood drain from his face. She had his letter! How? Why?

“Y/N–”

A small smile appeared on her face as she put the letter away. “You wrote this when we were in high school?”

Instantly, the blood rushed to his face as he tried to hide his expression. “It…embarassing enough as is. I didn’t mean–”

Her lips pressed to his, stopping him midsentence. Joshua’s eyes widened in surprise, and his limbs stiffened. It took a few moments for his brain to catch up when he finally kissed her back, wrapped his hands around her waist, and pulled her close. His heart hammered loudly, and he swore he could hear hers, too. It seemed like hours passed before they broke apart. Y/N blinked a few times, trying to catch her breath.

“I never do that.” does he mean he never would have done that?

“D-Do you regret it?”

She shook her head with a laugh. “No. No, I don’t. You’re a great kisser.”

“As are you,” he answered with a smile.

“Joshua–”

The door to the bathroom crashed open, breaking them apart. Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Mingyu stood in the doorway in shock. 

“Thank goodness Woozi said where you were.”

Mingyu stepped forward with a snarl, pointing at them.

“So what's this?”

Y/N let out an exasperated sigh. “What are you talking about, Mingyu?”

“You two together?”

“Why do you care? We’re not, so anything I do has nothing to do with you.”

His jaw clenched as he stepped towards her. Joshua pushed himself between them as Mingyu stared hard at him.

“Bambi, move.”

“Don’t call me that, Mingyu. You’re being an ass. Stop while you’re still ahead.”

Mingyu shoved Joshua, who staggered back. Y/N grabbed Mingyu’s arm. “What is wrong with you?! Have you lost your mind?”

Mingyu yanked his arm away as Y/N was pushed back. Jeonghan and Seungcheol tried to grab Mingyu when Joshua swung, his fist connecting with his cheek with a dull thud. Mingyu fell against Seungcheol with a groan. Jeonghan looked at each man in surprise. 

“Shit. Nice job, Joshua.”

He hissed, shaking his fist, and pushed past the group, walking away. Y/N placed her hand on Jeonghan’s arm. “I’ll go.”

It didn’t take long for her to catch up with him.

“Joshua,” she called.

He stopped walking and turned towards her. Looking down at the ground, he sighed. “Sorry. I just needed to get out of there. Are you okay?”

“I’m not glass. I’m pretty tough,” she answered with a smile.

He laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t doubt it.”

Y/N paused before speaking. “I like you, Joshua, before the letter. I was just too scared to say something,” she explained.

“And now?”

Y/N felt the warmth crept into her cheeks. “I think my kiss was proof enough.”

He took her hand into his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I think we deserve to get ourselves some breakfast. What do you think?”

Y/N stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck. A grin appeared on her face. “Only if you’re treating.”

He chuckled, placing another soft kiss on her lips. “Deal.”

[sinclairstarz]

for the cinephile byler truthers. i made the party’s modern au letterboxd accounts

in my head mike wheeler is the film bro cinephile of the party. hes a big brad pitt fan and fincher is his favorite director if you even care.. dirty dancing would be in his top 4 if he was honest. he went to see dune cause hes a scifi nerd, ended up hating it so much and complained about it to will but still gave it 2 stars cause it was pretty. did leave a very mean review. very critical rater but mostly leaves high ratings because he just doesn’t watch things he doesnt wanna see.

alternative movies i considered putting: pulp fiction (5 stars), the killer (1 star), se7en (5 stars), across the spiderverse (5 stars), nope (5 stars) , the batman 2022 (4 stars), once upon a time in hollywood (5 stars), inglorious basterds (5 stars), the matrix (half a star)

the thing is so good and he has a poster of it on his wall in canon so it felt right. it just feels wrong not to do ghostbusters (plus its one of my favorite movies…) and yall need to hear me out on brokeback 😭😭😭 ur telling me he wouldnt bawl his eyes out??? ur wrong. will byers is a jake gyllenhaal lover. he watches dirty dancing a lot for mike, and loves ghibli movies a lot. he cried during rain man. honest rater but doesnt take it too seriously, mostly 4/5 star ratings

alternatives: saltburn (half a star), asteroid city (5 stars), blackkklansman (5 stars), the force awakens (3.5 stars), the perks of being a wallflower (4.5 stars), back to the future (5 stars)

rogue one because lucas has taste. its the best star wars movie, if u care. he would love how fun and goofy ghostbusters 2 is. in my head Wes Anderson is like the party’s claimed director and they all watch his movies together and do marathons because the weirdness, comedy, and emotional commentary is a perfect mix for them. so. bottle rocket. lucas’ favorite wes anderson is the grand budapest hotel if u wanted to know. he rates things pretty highly and isn’t super critical.

alternatives: dodgeball (5 stars), scream 5 (4 stars), the matrix (3 stars), good will hunting (5 stars), jurassic park (5 stars), die hard (5 stars),

likes making lucas watch gone girl on valentines day and telling him shes gonna do that to him next time he annoys her. v for vendetta is her favorite romance movie and shes a big marvel fan (in a cool way. kind of .) but thor ragnarok is probably one of her fav marvels, along with spiderman far from home and iron man. i just know she watches Casino Royale and decided she hated James Bond and then ended up watching all the Daniel Craig Bonds with Mike and loved Skyfall so much. the song is on her playlist and she did cry after No Time To Die.

Alternatives: Superbad (5 stars), baby driver (5 stars), bottoms (5 stars), 10 things i hate about you (3.5 stars), scream (5 stars), kill bill (5 stars), lord of the rings: the return of the king (1.5 stars)

also a bit of a film nerd. i considered giving him a star wars and i know in my heart he’d probably have empire somewhere in his top 4. but star wars is lame and i wanted to give him se7en so he fucking gets se7en. he knows john wick is objectively dumb but he doesnt care hes just here for a good time. the party probably watched saltburn together and all fucking hated it. I just know hes a kurosawa nerd and always goes when the local theatres do very rare special showings of his movies.

alternatives: baby driver (4 stars), the ewok adventure (5 stars) hot fuzz (5 stars) harry potter and the sorcerers stone (4 stars) legally blonde (5 stars) spirited away (5 stars) dazed and confused (5 stars)

she likes movies that make her feel all warm and fuzzy and hopeful. i wanted to give her breakfast club, but i think she’d honestly like sixteen candles more (even though breakfast club’s better). she cried at almost every movie in her top 4 and makes max rewatch juno with her like once a month. she gives most movies 5 stars unless she really hates them, and loves any movie thats fun to watch, even if its bad. she likes movies with pretty girls and fun colors.

alternatives: barbie (5 stars), legally blonde (5 stars), inception (2 stars), heathers (5 stars) pretty in pink (4.5 stars (she was mad andi didn’t end up with ducky)) my neighbor totoro (5 stars)

in conclusion if you haven’t seen They Cloned Tyron (2023) go watch it it deserved the oscar

[fiona-fififi]

911 Tag Game

Tagged by @transboybuckley. Thank you for the tag! (Also, I just found this in my drafts, sorry for the delay!)

Rules: answer your opinion on these nine topics, then tag nine other people to give their opinion as well

—

Favorite Character: This changes by the minute sometimes, but I think probably Eddie. I actually think he's the character who's shown the most complexity and development. He regresses a bit sometimes, but he has shown incredible growth and put in conscious effort to better himself for Christopher. I know a lot of people feel he's going in circles, but I don't actually agree with that at all. He's not charging ahead in a perfect linear movement forward, but he has made regular progress, been knocked down, and then taken steps to get better over and over again. I am a touch frustrated with the way the current season has handled him, but the current season has been a shitshow across the board when it comes to forward movement and development of storylines and characters, so I don't think it's fair to say he hasn't put in any work (which seems to be the argument I see people making most often lately).

Character you resonate with the most: Probably Buck. A lot of similar self worth and abandonment issues over here.

Favorite Episode: This one's tough. I think it's a toss-up between "Sink or Swim"/"The Searchers" (which I'm counting as one) and "Eddie Begins." Most days, "Eddie Begins" would probably edge out the other two simply in terms of re-watchability for me, because the tsunami arc is a little more emotionally draining, but the tsunami arc really just is a thing of beauty, start to finish, for every single character.

Hottest Take: Maddie and Eddie would NOT be friends. They do not get along. He is just her annoying little brother's best friend, and if they are in the same room together, you can bet she's gonna have to scold him for some shit. That man drives her up the wall. She'd trust him with her life, but she does NOT want him in her house.

Favorite Lone Star Character: Paul

Favorite Ship: Buddie

Most Underrated Character: Linda Bates. I want Linda on my screen always.

Most Underrated Ship: Hen/Maddie. I don't think it actually exists anywhere in fandom, but I crave it, to be honest.

One thing you'd love to see: Honestly, I just want the show to find some kind of balance again. I want smaller, more intimate, more thought out storylines that thematically connect the characters and the emergencies again. I want them to stop trying to shoehorn in random characters they never properly develop, and I want them to stop creating cartoon villains for every damn thing. I'd also love to see them actually deal with sensitive topics again, instead of leaning so far into the comic relief that it takes away from any nuanced development. Really, I miss the tone of seasons 1-5, and I would really like to see the team and the storytelling fit together again.

Tagging (no pressure, of course!): @freewayshark @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @lemmeaskthedevil @lookforanewangle @dr-shortsighted-owl @theladyyavilee @untherapized-eddie and anyone else who wants to participate

[lesbianoms]

Rn I’m feeling pretty sleepy… imagining kinky vore stuff <3

Me getting a job at an avant-garde spa as a living heating pad for women with fat, overstuffed guts. I essentially curl up on their tummy or sprawl out like a tiny kitten, generating body heat to help their bellies digest all that food~

A regular customer especially loves my services. She eats a lot and her massive, gurgly tummy is always going through it tenfold compared to the others. She flirts with me, calls me cute… runs her fingers through my hair during our sessions 💖

Until one day she decides she needs me so badly that she needs to eat me. She waits until I’m all relaxed and comfy on top of her belly, too enthralled by the sounds to notice that hungry glint in her eyes…

Then, she snatches me up from off of her gut and slurps me down, patting her flabby stomach in satisfaction and letting out a deep burp, as I begin whining and squealing and struggling for my life 🥰

I wonder if the other customers would try to save me, or if they’d just be upset I wasn’t going to be around for their next appointments… either way, it only takes me 30 minutes to get gurgled good and churned up into slime by her gluttonous tum ❤️

She goes home, feeling satisfied, rubbing all that flab and groaning softly as she feels my soft weight shift down into her lower belly.

“5 stars,” she mumbles, as a loud gurgle echoes around within her. “urrap! mmm~”

REFORMATION BONUS:

A few days later, my devourer comes in for another appointment, only to see me standing at the front desk with an annoyed look on my face. I can imagine that she’d turn white as a ghost, lol.

“Hey,” I greet, “It’s actually pretty spacious in your stomach, did you know that? Comfy too, but a bit hot. You should drink more water. But honestly, not bad once I stopped squirming.”

“…Thanks…” she mumbles.

“Your last appointment is gonna $70, by the way.”

She raises her eyebrows in surprise. “70?!”

I smirk, staring down at her belly as I say, “Digestion tax.”

[alexandraisyes]

Rate all TSAMS characters

OH GOD YEAH SURE WHY THE FUCK NOT

Many many more under the cut - also these are just my opinions

Sun: 4 Stars - Pisses me off sometimes but one of my favorites

Moon: 2 Stars - Pisses me off a lot

Nexus: 3 Stars - I don't like what they're doing with him

Monty: 0 Stars - Can die in a trash fire

OG Computer: 1 Star - Assholes to Sun for no reason

Spaniard: 5 Stars - Sweetheart and still sardonic

Eclipse (Original): 5 Stars - Tragic Villain

Eclipse (Back Up): 4 Stars - Killed before a cool arc

Eclipse (Copy): 5 Stars - Angry wet cat

Lunar: 2 Stars - Liked him more when he was honest

Bloodmoon: 5 Stars - Fun and loveable

Bloodmoon (Copy): 3 Stars - They botched his fucking character

Killcode: 5 Stars - They could never make me hate you

Solar Flare: 5 Stars - It's Solar Flare

Earth: 3 Stars - Great, amazing complex female character, but she loses two stars for dating Monty

Ruin: 5 Stars - You'll be back

Jack: 2 Stars - I loved him until I realized we were supposed to consider him to be like a little kid and I don't approve with the ethics of that considering some of the jokes they make with him and the fact that he is literally still a murder machine meant to murder things

Dazzle: 5 Stars - Baby

The Creator: 3 Stars - Obnoxious but consistent

Trashcan Man: 5 Stars - I hope he signed a prenup for the divorce

Gemini: 4 Stars - I feel like there was a lot of missed potential but I like the design so I'll give it a pass

Nebula: 2 Stars - I literally don't know her

Frank: 5 Stars - It's Frank

Francis: 4 Stars - He's like a little puppy dog I love him

Puppet: 5 Stars - If she did something wrong no she didn't

Foxy: 4 Stars - Was eh at first but really like him now

FC: 5 Stars - Baby boy lemme squish ur little paws and protect you and give you a cookie ur so innocent and sweet and ough my hormones

Miku: 4 Stars - I personally think she's funny

Stitch Wraith: 2 Stars - Eh

Golden Freddy: 4 Stars - Lost a star for violating a pumpkin

AU Rating

Solar (Nice Eclipse): 4 Stars - Great guy, but always felt a little bit standoffish and manipulative and honestly he gets a pass because it's a trauma response, someone get this guy a cookie

Helios (Dark Sun): 5 Stars - They could never make me hate you

Nyx (Evil Lunar): 5 Stars - Gonna keep him in my basement

Gaia (Evil Earth): 4 Stars - She fucking scares me bro

Crescent (Solar's Moon): 2 Stars - For being an asshole

Kronos (Lord Eclipse): 5 Stars - Yes

Crius (Servant Sun): 5 Stars - Also yes

Styx (Lord Lunar): 5 Stars - Yes again

Moros (Servant Eclipse): 5 Stars - Solar Flare levels of devotion

Solstice (Swap Eclipse): 4 Stars - Probably an asshole but I love him

Selene (Swap Lunar): 4 Stars - See above

Sobek (Evil Monty): 0 Stars - Fuck him in a bad way

Icarus (Star Holder Freddy): 5 Stars - Baby, must protect

Ammit (Mage/Lord Monty): 4 Stars - I actually kinda love him?

Eos (Lonely Sun): 5 Stars - Ough lemme kiss it better for you sweetie Imma take u from the plex and give u a hug

Khonsu (Feral Moon): 5 Stars - Because we love a feral wet cat

Ronty (Ruined Monty): 5 Stars - He loved his girlfriend

Năo (Ruin's Creator): 4 Stars - Interesting Villain

Character's We Never Officially Met

Angel (Solar's Sun): 5 Stars - Baby

Apollo (Ruin's Sun): 4 Stars - Probably morally grey in a bad way

Artemis (Ruin's Moon): 4 Stars - Same as Apollo

Space (Swap Earth): 5 Stars - They could never make me hate you

Dawn (Swap Sun): 5 Stars - I can fix him

Equinox (Swap Moon): 5 Stars - I can make him worse

Cora (Swap Flare): 5 Stars - It's a solar flare

Hunter Moon (Swap BM): 5 Stars - Dadcode but bm. . .

Sentry (Swap KC): 5 Stars - Probably such a little shit I love him

[rdng1230]

9-1-1 Tag Game

I was tagged by @until-i-set-him-free

Rules: answer your opinion on these nine topics, then tag nine other people to give their opinion as well

Favorite Character: Damn, I know I'm the Sal girly around here but my favorite character is actually Eli. I love his mixture of Jiminy cricket and fairy godmother. And there's a heaviness to his soul that makes you immediately understand that every lesson he has to impart was very very hard learned. I also admire the hell out of May. (but also Sal and Tommy obvi)

Character You Relate to the Most: I think I relate to a lot of them in different ways. May is only a year younger than me so I definitely relate to her sense of wanting to fix the world and to not accept a shitty status quo. I'm an info dumper/deep diver like Buck, actually I make him look like a walk in the park lol. Chim and I have really similar senses of humor too. Oh and Sal's stubbornness for SURE.

Favorite Episode: I love a bunch of them for different reasons. Chim Begins is high up there. I miss the ones with thematic consistency, Rage is a favorite. The factory fire scene in Buck Begins always gets me.

Hottest Take: oooooooh y'all not gonna like this one. imo Bobby and Athena have diametrically opposed world views and attachment styles, and I feel like their marriage has fallen into a pattern of "lets just put them in peril so we never have to deal with the super major incompatibilities they have." And I haaaaaaate that because you have two fucking stellar actors who could EAT UP that material should the writers ever stop eating around the edges of all that.

Favorite Lone Star Character: I'm nowhere near up to date and I know things are a bit fucked with the actress not coming back for season 5, but I love Judd and Grace, their love is so intentional and based in these really strong mutual values. I love what they bring out in each other and in the world around them. Oh also Marjan because I have never been able to resist a hot civil disobedience doin' Roller Derby girl a day in my life.

Favorite Ship: Saltommy, Bucktommy, and whatever Grace and Judd's ship name is.

Most Underrated Character: Eli. I'm still so mad he wasn't at the madney wedding. (and his wife Molly, who they never even bothered to show on screen but you just know she's freaking awesome)

Most Underrated Ship: honestly, the answer would be saltommy but I have gathered so many of us together I forget normal people aren't obsessed with them. Honestly? I think the answer is Eli and Molly because we never got to see them. I just know their relationship would be so fucking amazing. I'd love to read people's versions of them!!!!

One Thing You’d Love to See: Well, more saltommy'ers of course, but also more peace in general for the fandom. There's enough sand and toys in the sandbox for everybody;)

NP tagging and apologies if y'all were tagged already: @racerchix21 @cliophilyra @nine-one-wanton @judymarch15 @sunnywithachanceofbi

@thepinkcrayon @loopsenjoyer @gaybonesforivy @jamieroyjamieroy

[armandyke]

Queer horror abound in this lot of reviews, for better or worse.

41) The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden (DNF)

This is not a bad book, and I cannot stress that enough. I actually enjoyed the bits I read, but for some reason I just couldn’t stick with it. I started reading this book months earlier, then put it down and read several other books, then picked it up and read a couple of chapters, then put it down and read several other books. 

I will say that it was very slow, and I don’t think that’s just because I was taking month long breaks in between chapters. I was about 30% into this book when I stopped reading and I’m pretty sure the main plot had only just started to play out. I liked the writing style and the story seemed interesting, it just wasn’t for me. 

42) Wranglestone by Darren Charlton (3.5⭐)

Excuse me, I’m a horror reader, how dare you give me adorable tenderness. 

I actually really loved this. Sure, I would have liked a bit more gore from my zombies but hey, it’s YA so let’s not traumatise the kids. The story follows Peter, who has spent his entire life living in a tiny isolated community in the middle of a lake, in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. As you do. 

The horror kind of takes a backseat in this one, it’s more of a coming of age story about Peter facing pressure from his peers to “become a man”, dealing with his crush (yes, it’s gay), and discovering that not everything he’s been brought up to believe is necessarily true. I really loved it, and honestly I didn’t even realise it was YA until I went hunting for the sequel. Yes, I kind of knew how the plot was gonna pan out, but the journey was fun and there were still some genuinely tense moments. If you’re looking for tenderness and also gross zombies, check this one out. 

43) Piñata by Leopoldo Gout (4⭐)

This is your classic “for the love of God leave that ancient religious site alone, you’re gonna get haunted!” horror story. Set partly in Mexico and partly in New York, the story follows Carmen, a single mother of two daughters who moves back to her hometown in Mexico to oversee a restoration project, transforming an old abbey with a very bloody history into a hotel, because of course. Naturally, things quickly go awry, and Carmen is forced to step down from the project and return back home, only to find that whatever they uncovered in Mexico has followed her and her daughters. 

What I really loved about this book was how much history and Mexican folklore was weaved into the story. Even though the foundation is a classic horror trope, it felt incredibly original. The pacing felt slow at times, and after the initial impact of the prologue it seemed to take a while to really get going again, but overall a great read. 

44) Everything the Darkness Eats by Eric LaRocca (1⭐)

Jesus fucking Christ, dude. Unless you get off on reading graphic descriptions of rape with absolutely no bearing on any plot, and which subsequently get retconned anyway, don’t bother with this. If this book was on fire I wouldn’t piss on it.

45) Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle (5⭐)

Chuck Tingle you beautiful genius. This man has the ability to take the most bonkers concepts and somehow make them feel real (if you haven’t read Camp Damascus, you should). 

This book follows Misha, a Hollywood script writer who is haunted by his past both physically and metaphorically. Heading into the next season of his most successful show, his producers give him an ultimatum: either cut the scripted gay kiss between his two protagonists, or kill one of them. Misha refuses, and quickly finds himself being stalked and threatened by characters from his previous scripts. 

If you think you know where this story is going, you don’t. I had no idea what was going to happen from one chapter to the next, but, somehow, it works. It’s funny, it’s heartbreaking, it’s relatable, it’s terrifying. Was it better than Camp Damascus? No. But they both got five stars. 

46) The Ghost Woods by C.J Cooke (4.5⭐)

If I had a nickel for every time I read a queer book about fungus, I would have three nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened three times. 

This is my second C.J Cooke book. I read the Lighthouse Witches last year and loved it, but I loved this one even more. The story follows the timelines of two women staying at a mother and baby home until they give birth. The owners of the house are strange and distant, the workers seem to be keeping secrets, and there’s something weird going on with the woods behind the house. 

It’s creepy and gothic and yummy, but what I’m coming to enjoy about this author’s writing is her ability to weave heavy subject matter into her stories in a way that doesn’t overwhelm the rest of the plot, but doesn’t get brushed aside either. She clearly takes a lot of care with her subject matter and it shows. Again, I won’t list the specific triggers in this review because it’s a reveal that comes quite late in the book, but if you do have certain things you need to avoid I would recommend looking up a list of warnings before you go into this one. 

47) Dark Matter by Blake Crouch (3.5⭐)

I read this for a book club and being so real I don’t remember much about it. It’s a sci fi thriller about the multiverse theory and it was okay. I do remember thinking that if I was in the protagonist’s situation I would have gotten everything done a lot more easily and efficiently, and that it started to annoy me a little how despite inventing a multiverse portal, he seemed to be kind of an idiot. 

48) Alice by Christina Henry (1⭐)

I don’t even know how to begin explaining what a mess this was. I sent a 20 minute voice note to my friend immediately after reading it, and even then I struggled to summarise what the hell I’d just read. 

It was bad. 

My god it was bad. 

And yet somehow it was still better than Good Girls Don’t Die.

49) The House of a Hundred Whispers by Graham Masterton (3.5⭐)

Trigger warning upfront for a pretty graphic rape scene in this one that I don’t really think was needed or added anything to the plot. It dropped a star for that. 

Besides that this was a pretty standard Graham Masterton horror. I’ve read a few of his books now and while they generally follow a similar formula, I still enjoy them and continue to buy them. In this case the plot revolves around a house that has been left for a trio of siblings to take care of after the death of their father, but when they arrive people start to go missing and there are strange noises all around the house. 

I will say this was quite a fun twist on a haunted house. I won’t spoil things any more than that but even though it followed the usual haunted house formula I think the reveal and the explanation for what was happening was quite unique. 

50) All the White Spaces by Ally Wilkes (4.5⭐)

As I’ve mentioned before, one thing about me is that I love when people are stranded in an isolated snowy setting, and things begin to go very badly wrong. 

This book has it all: strangely abandoned arctic research facility, slow descents into madness, botch job amputations, manifestations of grief and guilt, men having sex with each other in secret, AND the main character is trans. What more could a girl ask for? Well, obviously, cannibalism, which sadly we don’t get. The story follows Jonathan, who joins an arctic expedition after the death of his two brothers in the war. It’s a chance to honour their memory as well as a chance for the ultimate gender affirmation: spending months living in cramped, intimate conditions with other men. Naturally things go wrong and they end up stranded in the desolate wasteland of the arctic, and naturally something supernatural is afoot. My only gripe with this book was that we spent a lot of time following the initial journey, which then meant less time to spend seeing the supernatural events unfold. Other than that, I have no notes.

[mines-camren]

THE FIRST MEETING

Part 1

Summary: Just my take of Kate Martin and Caitlin Clark Meeting for the first time.

Rating/warning: none

Kate Martin POV

The pain was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I was screaming like my life had ended and in that moment it really felt like it had. At a women’s Iowa basketball practice before my freshman year I tore my ACL. I’ve never had to deal with a major injury in my basketball career before, let alone a season ending one.

It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through but strangely it was also one of the best things that could have happened to me. Being redshirted that year and being on the bench really taught me how to be a team player and root for my teammates success. In High school I had a bit of an ego with being one of the best players and team captain, so being sidelined that year was new to me.

But it kept me humble and motivated me to get in the gym and get healthy again. By the time my sophomore year came around I was back in the rotation and getting playing time.

“Hey Martin!” coach Bluder called, “come over here for second, I gotta talk to you.”

We were finishing up a practice and I was a little nervous to be called out but kept cool as I walked up to her, “What’s up coach? Is everything okay?”

Coach was straight to the point, “We have a recruit coming for an official visit next week, her name’s Caitlin Clark and she’s someone we really want to lock down. The coaching staff and I were hoping you and some of the other girls on the team could show her around campus, maybe take her to a football game. We really think she might be the missing piece to this team.”

I had not heard of this supposed 5 star recruit but I didn’t wanna let coach down so I accepted, “Yes of course coach, the girls and I can do that! Anything to make the team better.”

“That a girl,” coach said, “I knew I could count on you, you’re starting to become a real leader for this team.”

With that, practice had ended so I walked to the locker room to change and ask my teammates if they have heard of this new recruit.

“Hey guys, have y’all heard of a girl named Caitlin Clark?”

Gabbie was the first to answer, “yeah she’s like the number 1 high school recruit in all of Iowa.”

Monika added, “the girls a point guard that can shoot from long range bit of a sniper with great handles and court vision.”

McKenna looked at me and laughed, “wow Kate I can’t believe you haven’t heard of her.”

“Well damn my bad,” I say as I finish getting dressed. “Since y’all love this Clark girl so much I’m sure you’re gonna be excited to hear this but we all our going to be her tour guides when she takes her official recruit visit!”

“Wait, really?” Gabbie said and Monika added, “We can’t mess this up guys, she’s a five star recruit. We don’t get a lot of those around here.”

Hearing Monika say that stung a little but she was right, programs like Iowa don’t get many opportunities like this and Coach was counting on me.

“Okay,” I said, “we are gonna show this girl such a good time that she won’t even think about going to any other school!”

“Oh yeah, how are we gonna do that miss captain Kate?”

“First of all thank you for calling me captain,” I flash a smile and a quick wink at Monika, “second we take her to a football game hopefully they win and third we take her to an after party where she will have the time of her life. She’ll commit to Iowa by the end of the week.”

McKenna was first to criticize my plan, “what if she doesn’t even like football or partying like you Kate, not everyone is a frat boy.” She laughed and that earned some giggles from Gabbie. I tried my hardest to glare at them but it didn’t work out.

“Okay so it’s not the best plan but it’s honestly all we got,” Gabbie said, “I think we should just be ourselves and don’t try to make her feel pressured in any way. I can only imagine the kind of pressure she’s under already.”

“Yeah you’re right,” Monika said, “we gotta make her feel comfortable.”

I clapped my hands together to get their attention, “okay great talk ladies!” I grabbed my bag to head out. “I’m glad we are all on the same page, I’m gonna go see y’all at practice tomorrow.”

As I got back to my dorm I contemplated on goggling Caitlin Clark but I decided not to. All I needed to know is that she’s crazy good at basketball and she’s considering playing for our team.

[cicada-days-of-summer]

WILL WOOD THE NEW NORMAL LIVE REVUE

"Blue Velvet" Reboot Starring Tom Waits (Suburbia Overture 2024 Edit) - Revue Lines are delivered with much more clarity than the 2022. The tone of voice used in "Vampire Culture" is significantly less deep, which does add to the aforementioned clarity (he says some wild stuff in this part i just couldnt hear before!) but i do think takes away mildly from the juxtaposition of the three parts. The same can be said about "Love Me Normally," where the voice he uses is much closer to his normal singing tone (as seen in "Suburbia Overture") 4/5, the changes were large but noticeable, the piece overall retains the same charm as the original "Suburbia Overture" seen on The Normal Album

Second Sight Seer! S! (2222024 Edit) - Revue Significantly more clear than the original "2econd-2ight-2eer (that was fun, goodbye.)" and i feel like it does much more for this song than "Suburbia Overture." I think its probably because this song is just generally faster paced. You can much more clearly hear what Will is saying. This might also just be placebo, but the backing track ALSO sounds much crisper. He also kinda does a silly little twinge in his voice. This version is an improvement over the original. 5/5

The Moral Implications of a Deterministic Universe feat. The Onceler (Laplace's Angel 2024 Edit) - Revue OH MY. GOD. His voice in this song is AMAZING. its slightly different than the tone he uses in the original and it so slightly changes the tone of the song. This shit is ORGASMIC. THE ENDING BIT… THE INTRO INSTRUMENTAL… OH MY GODDDD every part of this song is better. i like the onceler reference because his "am i really that bad line" does sound like him lol. WW my tumblrina king. 7/5

I/Me/Myself (2024) - Revue Nothing huge, increased clarity on lyrics and backing track is notable. Just as good as the original 4/5

…well, better than the alternative (Better Alternative Edit) - Revue First i was squealing at the new intro instrumental but then his VOICE!!!!! i started stimming on this shit immediately. im biased because this is easily my favorite ww song ever. HIS VOICE!!! it was amazing in the original and its a subtle change if ur a new listener but oh my fucking god it actually is bringing a tear to my eye. the instrumental is amazing also. THE LAST PART OH MY GOD IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER IM ACTUALLY GONNA START CRYING. 10/5 EASILY this is so fucking good!!!

I Lied About the Apple Thing (Skeleton-Bones Edition) - Revue First thing u notice is the instrumental change. AMAZING. His voice is once again alot clearer in the version, slight tone change is noticed and appreciated. 4/5

Ideas Only Spread Because People Like Them, The "Free Market of Ideas" is not a Meritocracy, it's a Set of Unhealthy Coping Skills and a Corporate Oligarchy, Wake Up, Man! Don't Let the Lies Dim Your Light! anyway this one's black box warrior (2024 edit) - Revue Clear lyrics doing alot, his enunciations a little different. The pace is the same tho which is nice. the voice is kinda different. Like how the choruses are a bit more in this version. I don't feel like changes are that prominent, comparable to the original all honestly, its a perfectly good song though. I generally feel like BBW is one of the weaker songs on this album so im not really shocked by this. the ending sounds better in this one 3/5

Karen, Thannsdfghjkl You for the Casserole, But I Need You to Lea-n into a Typo (Marsha 2024 Edit) - revue oh my loordddddd the voice is already so much better. this already puts it above the original. the backing track seems similar this far. Rerecording the vocals improved this alot his emphasis is great in this. Its not a shocking difference like some other songs so far but its very good. 4/5

Love, Me Normally - Revue This is the last song on the original The Normal Album, cant even tell its a edit. Because its not apparently. i was tripping trying to review i was going back and forth between the two. apparently legal issues didnt let him remaster it???? whats the freak

A Knee-Slapping Joke Title Referring to How Ending Tracks on Will Wood Albums Are Always Kind of Like That (Memento Mori 2024) - revue HIS VOCALS ARE SO CRISP ITS LIKE HES IN THE ROOM WITH ME. the backing is much more subtle letting the vocals really take the lead which does alot for this song i think. SO crisp an amazing remake this is SO FUCKING GODO THE ENDING OH MY GODDDDD THIS SONGS GREAT 5/5

I/Me/Myself (2018 Live Studio Demo) - revue WOAH. this is!!!! fresh!!! avocado ass song god dayum. Clearly unrefined but i kind of LOVE it oh my goodddd classic will voice and acoustics!!?!?!???!! with different lyrics??!??!?? on such a popular song this is sooo refreshing god damn. oh my god. oh my god. this is incredible. oh my god. 6/5. this is so. new. oh my god

Laplace's Angel (2018 Live in Studio Demo) - Revue once again the acoustic is AMAZING its really refreshing after how synthed TNA is. his voice in this again is GREAT the lyrics being slightly different do alooot. generally very yurmy. 4/5

Memento Mori (2018 Live in Studio Demo) - Revue Talking intro? cool!! WHAT REFERENCE TALKING INTRO… different lyrics again! love that. alot more chill than the final, nice sound. Hes playing the piano and says "take it away hands" instead of "take it away hank" for the musical interlude, thats fun. he does a weird voice thing. sure. this ok enough. 4/5