#honestly surprised I haven't posted one yet

[nixie-deangel]

@artemisiasolzhenitsyn who asked for 🍷🍷✍️:

🍷 Jake's family causes the hangster break up

directly following this!

Jake isn’t sure how long they sit there on her kitchen floor, but he knows they only finally get up because Brownie lets out a sharp, high pitched whine and Tally laughs a little wetly at his antics. “I know baby, momma is late on your afternoon walk,” she murmurs, moving only one hand from around Jake to scratch at him behind his ears. “Go get your leash and I’ll get uncle Jakey up and we’ll take you on your walk, okay buddy?” Letting out a sharp rumble, Jake laughs hoarsely as he watches the big Great Dane trot off to fetch his leash. “He got big.” “Yeah, his breed does that, Jake,” Tally snorts. ‘Plus you haven’t seen him in a few months, so it’s no wonder he seems big to you.”

✍🏻 insecure bradley - hangster

“Be good for me, princess,” Bradley pants into Jake’s ear, grip on his hips tightening in a vain attempt to stop Jake from shoving back onto his cock.  “Come on,” Jake whines as he tries to move his arms up to get better leverage to roll his hips back into Bradley’s own. “Bradley.” Growling low, Bradley tightens his hands, shoving Jake up against the wall and following with his body to keep him pinned.

Make Nixie Write!

[doberbutts]

With this latest round of discourse being "trans men shouldn't complain about being kicked out of women's spaces", I felt the urge to write up a relatively long post regarding the topic, as I feel it is a long tangled mess and involves a significant amount of people simply talking past each other.

To begin, what is a woman's space? I ask this, because "women's spaces" often fall under one of three categories: medical services, social services, and social gatherings. Of the three, trans men need access to nearly everything if not everything included within "medical services" and "social services". These things often need to be considered co-ed anyway, but are still considered "for women" and often are labeled things like "women's health" or "women's defense". Social gatherings- things such as book clubs, concerts, festivals, and other similar outings- can have a nuanced and complicated history when it comes to the inclusion, or exclusion, of trans men.

As an example- I am a binary, gay trans man who has not yet been sterilized. If I become pregnant and need to seek out social services, I must do so via my provider's "Women and Babies" department. I am neither of those things, and yet regardless of whether I am completing or terminating the pregnancy, I must label myself a woman in order to receive care. If I wish to have a pap smear, receive birth control, or investigate my chances of ovarian and cervical cancer, I must do so via the "Women's Health Clinic". I am not a woman, but I must label myself as one in order to discuss sterilization options. Many trans men who have had their gender markers changed prior to sterilization have reported difficulty even booking an appointment, as well as difficulty convincing their insurance to pay for this appointment due to a discrepancy with gender markers vs gendered care. Many have discussed the realities of being a pregnant man, whether they remained pregnant until their child was born, or whether they terminated said pregnancy with an abortion.

It should come as no surprise that the statistics for trans men receiving quality gynecological care are abysmal. It should be equally unsurprising to hear how many trans men have died from botched abortions, untreated miscarriages, infections and cancers of the uterus and cervix and ovaries, and complications during pregnancy or birth. We belong in this space, despite it being labeled "for women", and the only thing pushing us out has done is quite literally what's been killing us.

This is, of course, not even taking into account the numbers of trans men who have been forced to become pregnant via their husbands or families as a means to detransition them, and those who have become pregnant as a result of corrective rape. There is a saying among trans men of my age- it isn't "we all know a guy this has happened to", it's "which of us haven't experienced this? who among us doesn't fear this? who will it happen to next?"

Which brings me to my next point: women's social services. As with women's medical care, nearly everything labeled "for women" as a social service must be inclusive to trans men. Shelters for domestic violence survivors, rape crisis centers, self defense classes, family planning, these are all things that honestly should already be co-ed. But, many times, they are exclusively targeted towards women. I understand why, I do. But with trans men being statistically more likely than cis women to experience the need for these services, it seems a cruelty to close their doors to a vulnerable demographic reaching out for help.

Where should trans men in crisis go? Shutting the door to us without addressing the reason we need to access these resources gives us a single ultimatum: detransition, or die. Go back to being a woman, or die knowing the likelihood that a woman's name will adorn your headstone, and "daughter, wife, mother" will be said in your obituary. Much like the medical services, this incomplete answer has lead many trans men to their deaths. Whether by their own hands, or by their attackers'.

But there are other social services out there that perhaps are not as dire. Women's scholarships, colleges, all girls schools. Girl Scouts, women's sport leagues, gym memberships. Trans men don't need access to these, right?

Well... is the trans man in question out? Has he been living as a man, or is he still closeted? Is it safe for him to come out? Does he pass, or has he just bought his first binder and given himself his first buzz cut? Is he living under the control of his parents, or is he able to freely decide for himself the type of person he'd like to be and the type of life he'd like to live?

You see, I was a Girl Scout once. And, if we are to believe to our core that trans men are men even before they know the words "transgender", this means I was a boy in a girl's space. I didn't know that being transgender was an option for me at the point where my troop disbanded, and another leader to replace the first within my local area was not found until after I had aged out.

But also... I was in 7th grade when my troop disbanded. Two years later, I would learn the word "transgender", and suddenly everything would make sense. Two years later, I would come out to my parents and my sisters. To put this into perspective, I graduated high school in 2010. The Boy Scouts officially allowed cisgender girls and transgender people of all genders to join all programs in 2019.

I was not expelled from my Girl Scout troop. My leader simply stopped showing up to meetings, and my troop disbanded to go our separate ways when leadership could not find someone quickly enough to replace her. But... if this had not happened, I would have been a recently out transgender boy in a girl's social service, still wearing push up bras and frilly shirts because that's all my parents would buy me until I became an adult and moved out and had a job with my own money to re-purchase myself a wardrobe. Indistinguishable from any of the others, outside of what went on inside my own mind.

I would not have been accepted into the Boy Scouts, if Girl Scouts had been taken from me as abruptly as it was from a different transgender boy in the same state I was born and raised. Which would have left me with... nothing. Neither. And the only reason I even joined the Girl Scouts was because I had wanted to join the Boy Scouts and the local troop had refused to allow me, because they had labeled me a girl.

I don't believe I'm the one that coined Schrodinger's Gender, but I do reference it often. In this situation, one is both a boy when it hurts, and a girl when it hurts. Even if that gender label changes by the second, the point is to use your gender and your assigned sex to hurt you.

But then, why do these services even have to be gendered to begin with? After all, Boy Scouts just updated to be The Scouts, and has removed (on paper) the insistence on gendering.

Well... I certainly agree that the majority of gendering these services is at this point a concept that needs to be reformed, but I'm unconvinced that we will be able to completely integrate without addressing the reason they were segregated by gender in the first place.

Women's gym memberships are gender segregated for two reasons. Women and girls- and anyone labeled as women and girls, regardless of true identity- are frequently not afforded the same access to resources as cisgender men and boys. Women and girls- and anyone labeled such- are frequently at high risk of predatory sexual behavior and physical violence. Both of these problems are symptoms of a larger system of misogyny at play, and both of these problems directly affect trans men especially those who have not transitioned in a way that makes them pass for cis men.

Regardless of the truth of my identity, the reality is that I was seen as and treated as a girl when it came to physical fitness, and thus barred from the same activities freely offered to the boys. Regardless of the truth of my identity, I have experienced predatory sexual behavior from cis men as young as 8 or 9 years old, continuing past when I came out and began to transition socially.

If the problem is not addressed, cis women cannot re-integrate with cis men. But, additionally, if the problem is not addressed, the choice still remains clear for trans men. Detransition, stay closeted, or go without.

A common complaint of trans men is the invisibility and erasure our demographic faces. It should be easy to see why this happens. The problem of a misogynistic society is one that continues to this day, and without addressing the problem we cannot hope for success in creating a more inclusive space. At the same time, trans men are being pushed out and isolated as they realize they must make a choice.

As for social gatherings, such as a woman's retreat or a woman's music festival? Of course, it may sound odd to say that a trans man should feel welcome there. But the truth of the matter is the majority of the trans men asking for the ability to stay are trans men who have been within that space for years already, prior to coming out, prior to realizing some things about their genders, prior to taking their first steps as men.

I'm pretty good friends with an older butch who told me that I am the first person they ever told that they were a nonbinary man. This person is in their 50s. They're married. But the wife doesn't like it, and they love their wife too much to cause friction in the relationship, so they keep it to themselves, and they keep quiet, and they don't say anything about being transgender, but in their head they aren't a woman. This person is not a woman, by their own insistence. Should this person be forcibly ejected from their local lesbian community, which they and the wife helped form decades ago? Should they divorce their wife, since that would make her not a lesbian anymore?

What harm is it, truly, to allow this person to stay? Social isolation kills people. The trans man suicide statistics are just as abysmal as any of the others I've mentioned here. Forcing someone to burn 20, 30, 40 years of their lives and their friends and their achievements because they are finally living as themselves is a deeply hurtful and isolating experience.

The majority of trans men asking to be included in these spaces are not trans men like me- who never really jived with the idea of womanhood and distanced ourselves as much as possible the moment we saw the opportunity. They are men like my friend, often existing outside of the binary, often with a deep love and appreciation for womanhood despite realizing that perhaps the label does not fit them as well as they once thought. They often have many years of connection, entire lives spent intwined in these spaces.

What good does it do to chase them out? What harm does it to do let them stay?

[l6ndry]

summer sun forever, rafe cameron

band au!rafe x fan!reader (SMAU)

IN WHICH . . . one of the biggest warnings among celebrities is to avoid falling for a fan. rafe clearly does not consider this when he first notices his self proclaimed number one fan, you.

navigation: part 03 | part 04 | part 05

viewed best on mobile + dark mode.

yourusername

♡ liked by rafecameron, hrts4jj and 63 others

yourusername me rn bc i will genuinely never recover from what just happened 🙂🙂❕

view all comments

hrts4jj literally cs what the FUCK was that                       ↳ elsyluvskie i was chuckling the entire time                           

user omg olivia mentioned

user NEVER RECOVER FROM WHAT?????

rafecameron Thought I told you you'd be fine        ↳ yourusername hi rafe yes im perfectly fine!!!!!!      ↳ rafecameron Real convincing              ↳ yourusername i don't like you               ↳ rafecameron Sure kid                 ↳ yourusername bros kidding me now 🫤

user TOLD? THEYRE TALKING?

user Wait what the hell is going on

livelaughlovekp why is rafe cameron flirting with you        ↳ yourusername is the flirting in the room with us

elsyluvskie surprised you haven't passed out yet       ↳ yourusername im about to ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

user HELLOOOOOOO RAFE????

user so he noticed yn and now he's DMING HER???                        ↳ user RIGHT??? Like WHAT???

user Bro I can't believe they're chatting 😭😭😭 CRAZY

user I'm honestly so happy for Yn this is so fun to watch lmaoooao

rafe's phone

amora speaks: hihi i was gonna post yesterday but i was busy 😢😢 this was kinda a filler i just wanted to establish he's down bad lol

incorporating the BAND part of this fic next chapter i promise

READ ME: follow @l6ndry-fics if you want to be notified for all my future work, but if you want to be tagged specifically for this fic, please lmk and i'll add u to the taglist! (in order to stay on the taglist, you have to interact with these posts.)

taglist ७౿ @nepttunesoop @lilithblackkk @kolsmikaelson @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @rafescvmdumpster @wearemadeofstardust0 @livie4lifestarkeyblyth @maybankslover @rafestify @dayyzlol @namelesslosers @mjsvinyl @nellyboosworld @osamanyc @bradleyroosterbradshawfr @urmotherlvr @rafeslittlevixen @p0gue420 @hoelesslyt @aariahnaa @kay133sposts @hadids-world @vivian-555 @unclecrunkle @eitaababe @he6rtshaker @hiiiiiiii-111111 @fmit37cass @aoiiana @rrosiitas @shirley2626 @hereforchifuyu @rafesfavouritegirl @benwadsworthsgf @glxsyymads @starkeydolly @loveu-always @obx-potc-marvel-hp-ep @glitterybombshell @b3bybunny @nina-or-anna-or-nora @drewsdirtyslut @idgasb @inthelibrarybtw @whorelaud @lexilovespepsi @drwstarkeys @ilovefiction4lmen @kaiparkerwifes @shincidios @mrsstarkeyy @solaceinwritings

[yanderemommabean]

Yandere uramichi punishing his fem darling who tried to escape with pleasure?

"God, look at you baby. Dripping all over the bed and I haven't even done anything yet" He says in awe, watching how his fingers drip with your juices, all while you're unable to even hide your face, hands tied to the side of the bed as you struggle to catch your breath.

"Honestly, with how wet you are, I'd think you did that stunt on purpose. Is that it? You just like me riled up because you know what I'm capable of doing to you?"

His voice is sickly sweet, his lips sucking obscenely on his fingers that were just inside you, groaning deep in his throat as he slides between your forced open legs, cuffed to the end posts of the large bed.

His thumbs come to hold your swollen pussy lips open, his expression that of admiration and contemplation, wondering just how much of a mess he can turn you into.

You're so cute when you yelp at the way he plays with your stiff clit, and when you shake and try to apologize, he just can't help but smile. You knew the consequences! Why are you acting like this is all a big surprise? Surely you have to be doing this on purpose!

The rose toy he got earlier that week, would that be good to try? Your toes curl and your voice goes hoarse when he gets a little carried away, and well, this isn't exactly supposed to be easy on you.

You wince, feet trying to firmly plant on the mattress as the toy vibrates and suctions right on your clit, your nerves set alight as you writhe and try to both get away and grind down harder.

"There you go again, acting like you don't love how I treat you. Honestly, you could use some acting classes" He says, deadpanned but not at all bored. He presses the toy down harder, sliding his fingers inside of your clenching and fluttering walls while you sob, wrists yanking in the bindings as the toy relentlessly sucks and makes your muscles taut.

Those pianist fingers only make it worse, the pleasure so intense it drives you up a wall. You didn't even have the cognitive ability to plead with him, it was useless anyhow, but this was making even thinking difficult. Without a warning, that cord in your stomach just snaps. And the mess that leaves you and your mouth makes you want to curl up and die.

Uramichi just latches his mouth to your pussy, sucking and drinking you in, firm hands holding you up by your ass as he takes every bit he can get. It's almost cute how easy it is to make you squirt. His cute sensitive little co-star.

"There we go, let it all out baby. See? It's so easy for you to be good for me like this! It's making me wonder why I let you be untied in the first place" He says aloud, dragging his thumbs up and down your swollen vulva as you sniffle and try to form any semblance of an apology.

It's useless. You know it is. But the panic doesn't stop your mouth from moving and speaking words that fall on deaf ears.

His fingers slide back inside, his demeanor changing as his palm presses against your abused and sore clit, fingers pumping and curling at a punishing, brutal pace.

"You're not fuckin sorry. Not yet. One orgasm? Please. I'll make you sorry. Make you cum again and again and again while you gasp and writhe, and beg me. Don't care if you pass out. Don't care if it hurts. You tried to leave. You have no one to blame but yourself."

The way he fingers you, deep and demanding, you can only openly sob as more wetness drips down to your ass. It's wet, sticky, the noises only make you feel more shame as the man comes to suck on your nipples, biting and tugging them aggressively as he works you into another orgasm, the pain mixing with the pleasure only making your brain all the more foggy and broken.

Two orgasms in and you're already sobbing? Goodness, you really know how to put on theatrics! But if you didn't want this you wouldn't be so fucking wet, taking everything he gives you, sucking his fingers in for more. Does he look stupid?

You wanted this.

"Look at you, creaming all over my hand, spraying like a faucet. I give you what you need, don't I? Make that nasty ache go away and give your little pussy what it needs. I can play you like an instrument, anyway I like" He grins, wild and manic as he grinds his palm against your spasming clit, only making you spill into yet another overstimulated orgasm.

You don't even get to call his name or take a breath before he reaches for the rose toy again, holding it in front of his face with a shit eating grin.

"I think you, the toy and I are going to be well acquainted by the end of this. Then once you're all nice and worn out for me, I can unwind by kissing it all better."

(Please god let there be no typos I haven't slept. Anyway I hope you enjoyed!!! -Mommabean )

[sturngirly]

–‘Paper stars’– Chris sturniolo.

in which... your boyfriend chris finds out you've got a praise kink.

warnings: none, suggestive at the end!!

‘hi lol, this is based on this meme chris reposted on instagram stories’

– ... you think is weird? – i ask in fear of freaking out my boyfriend chris, we haven't been dating for too long, we've been together for 3 weeks but we've been friends for about a year and a half, we haven't done anything beyond making out and now we are playing a game of questions, his question being if i have something i haven't told him yet.

– that you have a praise kink? no, i don't think it's weird, why would i? – he says looking at me with an expression i can't quite read.

– I don't know you're looking at me funny – i say honestly, chris is a really expressive guy and i can tell almost every time how he feels just by looking at his face but now he looks like he is deep in thought.

– it's your turn now, dude –

– oh yeah, what is something YOU haven't told me yet? – i question pointing at chris and a little louder when I say ‘you’ tilting my head when i see the same boy scratching his neck bringing his eyes at the ceiling looking like he's searching for an answer.

– ... i also have a praise kink – he says bringing his face to the side almost like trying to hide it.

– ... you do? – you question, you always thought chris looked like the type of guy to be more into degrading which makes you surprised by his answer.

– yeah, ya seem surprised by that... y'know what? I could show you right now – you didn't know what chris had under his sleeve, he was always full of random ass scenarios that no one would've guessed was on his mind.

i watched as the blue eyed boy got up from his position on the floor and started walking towards his bedside table opening the first drawer and grabbing something from it, i couldn't see what it was until chris turned around facing me... it was a paper full of bright yellow stars.

– what are you implying?... – i said completely confused about what chris was thinking.

– imma start giving ya paper stars for every thing you do good – he replies giggling at himself and the face that i give him after he answers.

– ... i swear you're not real, you are a complete idiot – i say as chris begins laughing non stop at his stupid joke making me start laughing with him, repeatedly hitting the floor with my fist while chris has to support himself with his bed to not fall to the ground in tears by how much he's laughing.

– oh my god... that was funny... okay – i say as i try to catch my breath.

– HELL YEAH, as soon as you confessed that I was thinking about doing it – chris says making me feel more calm knowing that it wasn't that he thought i was weird and that he was just trying to think something funny to say.

we start to get quiet and before i can say anything chris slowly gets on top of me beginning to caress the left side of my face with one of his hands while the other one holds my waist.

– seriously tho, i could start doing it... but you'll have to be a good girl, yeah? – he says giving me a smirk and sleepy eyes making my cheeks get the reddest they've ever been while i mumble something unable to get words out because of how flustered i got.

– cat got ya tongue kid? –

WHAT DO WE THINK? this is my first time ever posting a fanfic on tumblr and i actually don't love this but I really hope y'all do!!

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Very, very fresh bison calf.

Months and months ago I promised y'all photos of the bison birth I was lucky enough to observe at the Cleveland Zoo last spring. As requested, they'll be under a cut, because unlike this lovely photo from the zoo announcement post, my photos are... goopy.

His name is Tighee, a name which the zoo said is "the name of a Shoshone chief."

We walked up just as things started to get going, and the story is below the cut...

This is Blue, a female bison who arrived at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo in fall of 2022 already pregnant. When we got to the habitat, there were a ton of people gathered around, and it wasn't quite clear what was going on.

Then we noticed her full udder and the extra pair of feet.

She was dead-center in the (pretty large) habitat, which was nice - though there was a crowd, she had some good distance from everyone for most of it. The calf came pretty quickly, all things considered (something especially helpful when you're holding a heavy camera up on full manual zoom without a tripod). Because she was at a distance, my friend and I spent a bunch of time showing people near us photos on my camera screen so they could get a good view.

I was honestly really surprised at the number of people who asked why the zoo staff weren't in there with her, helping her give birth. So we explained to folk that zoo staff don't normally go in with bison on a normal day because they're so big and dangerous, and that during a birth (a time of potential stress for the whole herd, the rest of whom were off to the side of that habitat) it would be especially risky to do so. But you could see people in the zoo's uniform colors clustered around the fence, keeping a close eye on her.

And then there was a calf! For folk who haven't seen what a whole amniotic sac looks like, I'm including the next couple photos.

This one is still mid-birth, as you can see. The hooves come out first, with the calf's head laying parallel to them.

Blue immediately moves to break the amniotic sac and clear the calf's airways of mucus. Om nom nom.

We have open eyes and an awake baby! The amniotic sac is full of fluid that helps protect the baby while it's in the uterus, which means once it's broken, the baby is goopy. One of mom's first jobs is to lick all of it away to dry the calf off.

A first attempt at using legs!

Nope, being born was too hard and legs don't work yet. Time to rest and recover from the effort of thinking about standing up.

The first inquisitive member of the herd, another young female, comes to check out the newest addition.

More attempts at legs! Getting better but still not coordinated enough yet.

They're starting to help the baby stand up. In a non-captive setting it would be important for him to be able to walk pretty quickly after being born, and he has to stand up to be able to nurse!

Everyone comes to check him out, now.

We have legs! They work! He hadn't quite figured out where to nurse from yet, though.

And that's your bison birth for the day!

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Dorm Heads - With Zhongli Male Reader

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

I'm sorry this took so long to post, Mystery anon! I've been super busy with personal stuff so I haven't had a lot of free time to work on this. I got pretty burned out at Idia's part and I couldn't be bothered to touch it up honestly; so, sorry about that. I hope this is what you wanted. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏

🌹 This hot headed boy was pretty surprised to find that the supposed magicless student from the orientation ceremony was not in fact magicless; seeing as you brought down a literal meteor and crushed the poor unsuspecting, feline resembling, monster. A meteor which appeared out of thin air and left no traces of damage behind after its impact. To say poor Riddle was confused and also fairly alarmed was an understatement. 

🌹 Your mannerisms were very strange to him. You're very well spoken and composed; yet you're seemingly wise beyond your years. Why are you speaking as if you're in your 80s? Riddle won't lie though; for an old man you're quite good looking. If he didn't have a reputation to uphold and examples to set, he could stare at you all day long.

🌹 A dragon? Well… that explains a lot. No wonder the Dark Mirror couldn't detect magic in you; or at least, that's what he reasons with himself. Please; he needs an explanation, he's so confused. Upon seeing your dragon form though… Riddle is once again confused. Are dragons supposed to be that long? Not that he's complaining though; the way you make a massive bed out of yourself is hard to contest.

🌹 T‐Treasure? Him? That's— Now look here; no amount of buttering him up will make you exempt from the rules, You— you scoundrel! Riddle is not easily tricked! Even if he is a tad bit more lenient with you, no he's not. You have no proof.

🌹 You have a son now too!? Just what else aren't you telling him!? Riddle doesn't mind Xiao at all actually. He thinks that they're both similar in how dedicated they are to their work. The adeptus seems to only tolerate him though; which, while disheartening, he completely understands.

🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏

"How odd, the Dark Mirror perceived you as magicless, yet you summoned stone and earth just now. Just who are you..?"

🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾

🦁 Right off the bat Leona could smell it and immediately he knew; that ain't a damn human. However, he couldn't seem to pinpoint just what you were exactly. You smelled similar to his one sided rival, Malleus, but it was different somehow. In the end, he just chalked it up to you being a fae of some kind. He did find it bizarre that the Dark Mirror claimed you to be magicless and directly after that you used magic. Whatever, he just wants a nap.

🦁 Why the hell are you talking like that? You sound like Diasomnia's Vice Dorm Head. Seriously, who in the world says ‘quite’ anymore. But, Leona doesn't mind you going off on one of your long winded story times about your past. Your deep voice is very smooth and soothing to his ears and has lulled him to sleep successfully every time.

🦁 HA! He knew it; his nose is never wrong after all. Well… maybe Leona was off by a little; but you're certainly not a human. A dragon though? No wonder you smelled similar to his nemesis; except your scent is more earthy than the dragon fae's. Your dragon form makes a very comfortable body pillow to cling onto. Yes, he is indeed speaking from experience. What was said experience, you ask? You were taking a nap in your dorm room while in your dragon form and woke up with a wild lion beastman clinging onto you.

🦁 Treasure, huh? Okay, be prepared for him to call you nicknames of his own. Noodle is one that Leona uses the most; a way to endearingly tease you about the foreign look of your dragon form. Another one he likes to use is old man/gramps; a tease on the strange way you speak.

🦁 Oh dear Seven; please not another Cheka, he doesn't think he can deal with another gremlin in this lifetime. Thankfully for Leona though, the avian adeptus is far older than his hyperactive nephew and awfully cold too. The lion beastman is pretty sure that Xiao doesn't like him, but you've continually assured him that your son actually really enjoys his presence.

🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾

"Damn, you sure talk a lot, Gramps. Hah? I didn't tell ya to stop or anything, keep talkin' I'm almost asleep."

🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚

🐙 His immediate impression of you was actually very positive! You seemed incredibly knowledgeable and well spoken. But what really caught Azul's attention was your apparently unrecognizable magic. The Dark Mirror proclaimed you magicless and yet shortly after the proclamation you displayed an exceptional control over stone and earth when you suddenly summoned a large stone pillar to attack your rampaging familiar. Color him intrigued.

🐙 My, what a strange way of speaking you have; are you perhaps anything like Diasomnia's Vice Dorm Head where you're far older than you appear? Azul actually doesn't find your mannerisms all that strange to be honest, he thinks it just gives a certain charm to you.

🐙 Oh, so you're a dragon are you? Would you perhaps be interested in signing a contract with him? It's for your benefit, he swears. No? Damn. Your dragon form reminds him a bit of various aquatic animals that populate the Coral Sea. Don't mind him calling you any names of fish you've never heard of, okay. Sometimes, if he's tired enough, Azul will allow you to cuddle with him in your dragon form. It's quite comfortable, so he doesn't mind too much.

🐙 Azul doesn't mind giving nicknames to people, but he's not too used to receiving from anyone other than Floyd and sometimes Jade. So when you refer to him as your treasure, he's caught off guard and pretty flustered. He'll never not be red in the face when you call him by that pet name, but he has a few of his own for you. Oarfish is one that he uses often, mostly in a teasing sense. Another is Ropefish, this one is used sparingly, he never told you why though.

🐙 Xiao… does not like him. The adeptus made it very clear upon their first meeting when he held the blade of his polearm to the poor cecaelia's throat and fixed him with the sharpest glare Azul had ever seen. It would seem that you told him about the whole contract debacle that went down before his overblot and your son wasn't going to forgive him any time soon.

🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚

"Are you perhaps interested in making a contract with me? My services are quite high quality and will certainly benefit you in the future. Eh? S‐shady? Me?"

🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌

🪲 Kalim thought that you were really cool when he first saw you at the entrance ceremony! Not only did you help him put the fire on his butt out, you also summoned a huge meteor out of nowhere! “‘I will have order!’” You sounded so cool! Ah… but wait– didn't the Dark Mirror say that you were magicless? Oh whatever, it doesn't matter anyway.

🪲 Why do you talk like you're old? You look way too young to talk like that; maybe around Professor Crewel's age but that in itself is a stretch. Expect a lot of questions from Kalim; like a lot. How old are you really? Are you a fae? Were you raised by your grandparents? What do you mean you don't know what omg means? How did you get your hair so shiny? Why do you wear clothes like that? Where are you from? Do you have a job? What do you do for work? Why are you looking at him like that? Huh… who's Hu Tao?

🪲 A Dragon!? That's so cool! Our precious boy was completely blindsided by the revelation that you were, in fact, not a human. When you reveal your dragon form to him Kalim is ecstatic, attempting to wrap his arms around your now massive form. Most times you'll be lounging on his massive bed while in your dragon form as he lays in the middle of your coiled body; running his fingers through the fur on your neck and pressing kisses to your snout.

🪲 While he certainly doesn't mind receiving nicknames and pet names, actually he loves it, it makes him happy, but Kalim isn't one to give nicknames himself, he prefers to use their birth names because it feels more intimate. However, he's not against it when you call him your treasure, he's very happy, it makes him feel all warm and bubbly inside. He might call you Cobra from time to time but it definitely won't be too often.

🪲 You have a kid? Can he meet them!? Please, please, please! Yes? Yay! Your poor emo son was immediately glomped by the eldest prince of the scorching sands as soon as he entered the room. Kalim was so excited that he didn't even let the adeptus speak before he vomited questions at him. Xiao actually didn't mind him at all, the golden retriever-like boy reminded him of a certain oni he once met in the Casm in Liyue.

🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌

"Why do you talk like you're old but look so young? Are you a fae like Lilia? What kind? Can I see your wings? Am I allowed to ask that? Wait! Was that rude!? I'm sorry!"

🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞

👑 Vil actually had a very positive but slightly strained impression of you. You were very well put together; a foreign beauty from another land if you will. Well dressed, well spoken and dashingly handsome; it would be a lie to say that he felt a bit threatened by your arrival to the NRC. Not only were you undeniably attractive though, you possessed an unknown magic that the Dark Mirror couldn't even identify. You were marvelous but mysterious, beautiful yet dangerous. He couldn't help but find himself lost in those glowing amber eyes as you summoned a translucent shield around yourself.

👑 Goodness you're like that Lilia fellow from Diasomnia, only taller, far more charming and much less with the times. Truly, your lack of knowledge about modern technology and tendency to forget your wallet is astonishing. You're like an old man trapped in a young man's body. Don't worry though, Vil will do his best to lay it all out clearly for you.

👑 I'm sorry, you're a what? Could you repeat that darling, Vil doesn't quite think he heard you right. Oh, a dragon, well… okay. He's never seen a real dragon before but something about that form of yours seems a bit… off should he say? You actually resemble more of a snake in his opinion. He won't cuddle with you in your dragon form, unfortunately. His clothes are far too expensive to be covered in dragon fur; but he will give you a few pets from a good distance away. Take what you can get, man.

👑 I need you to know that Vil is the fairest of them all, he's heard it all by now. Well… he thought he did. It wasn't really the pet name but the sincerity in that loving tone you used when you called him your treasure. Oh, how it made him swoon! You rascal, flattery will get you everywhere with him.

👑 Xiao… is afraid of him. One time, you left the two of them alone for ten minutes and came back to a trashed room, a grinning Vil and a beautified yaksha that was trembling in embarrassment and rage. Your poor emo son was holding himself high up and far away from the beautiful man by hanging onto his winged jade spear that was stabbed into the wall. The Pomfiore prefect was right though, green really is Xiao's color.

🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞

"Are you sure you're a dragon? I've never heard of dragon being quite so... oddly shaped. No– I'm not saying you look bad, you're very majestic and dare I say intimidating, I simply haven't ever seen a dragon like you before."

🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱

💀 He recognized you from somewhere; he was sure of it, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. From his tablet, Idia watched as the Dark Mirror addressed you as magicless; though, shortly after, you summoned a pillar of dark brown and amber colored stone to subdue your fire spewing familiar. You were so familiar, yet he couldn't think of where from, it was like some divine intervention was preventing it. Weird….

💀 You… How are you so clueless about technology? Just where the hell are you from that you don't know what a phone is? Your young appearance betrays your age too… You're like an irl anime character! Idia is absolutely raving! Hold on; let him write down a couple catchphrases and design you a costume! Don't worry, he'll teach you all he knows about modern tech as long as you go to this upcoming cosplay convention with him. You can be his main shielding healer from ‘Outworld Collision’!

💀 A dragon? Okay… so? Diasomnia's Dorm Head is kind of a dragon, so what's there to be surprised about? Your dragon form is a bit strange looking, but it's not like he'd actually tell you that; then again he's seen a lot of weird fantasy shit in the media he consumes on the daily, so he has no real reason to comment. Idia enjoy sitting in the middle of your coiled up serpentine body as he plays his games and reads his light novels; enthusiastically explaining the plot as he goes.

💀 T‐teasure? Your treasure? This poor man just about died when you called him that pet name for the first time. You thought he was so valuable that you compared him to treasure? Hold on, give Idia a second so he can compose himself, he's absolutely blue screening right now. 

💀 Your son actually still has yet to meet Idia; he always psyches himself up to meet the yaksha but then chickens out at the last minute. He's just worried that if Xiao doesn't like him then you'll change your mind about being with him. It's not that he thinks the adeptus would purposely try and break the two of you up, he's just super paranoid.

🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱

"T‐treasure? Me? Ah... t‐thank you... I t‐treasure you as well; you mean a lot to me. Um, g‐give me a second, I'll give you a nickname too.."

🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉

🐲 Malleus, of course, hadn't attended the orientation ceremony due to not receiving an invitation, however Lilia had told him all about you when he returned to Diasomnia. He was very intrigued to hear about how you didn't seem to be human despite your appearance. As well as how the Dark Mirror had mistakenly labeled you as magicless as you seemed to display expert control over stone and earth. You truly lived up to expectations when he finally met you during his midnight walk around Ramshackle. You were quite the beauty as well.

🐲 Your disposition didn't faze him in the slightest. If anything, it just confirmed Malleus’ assumptions that you certainly weren't a human. He and Lilia speak in the exact same way as you, so he has no reason to be concerned nor intrigued about it. However, your habit of forgetting your wallet is a bit vexing.

🐲 You're… a dragon? Really!? Oh, you have absolutely no idea just how extatic he is to meet another dragon! Er, well, he isn't exactly a dragon, but he is close to it. Whenever you show him your dragon form, he's even more in awe of you than he was before. Truly, you were the most majestic creature he has ever had the pleasure to bear witness to. He'll happily show you his own dragon form too; expect to set aside a few hours once every week so that you and Malleus can cuddle together in said forms.

🐲 Your Treasure, you say? My my, you're quite charming aren't you? Now, Malleus isn't one to be easily flustered, but knowing how important treasures are to dragons, you're practically getting down on one knee when you call him that. Of course, he's not cruel enough to leave the sentiment unreturned, so he's taken to calling you his jewel or his fallen star in reference to you coming from another world.

🐲 Believe it or not, Xiao actually tried to kill him upon their first meeting. The yaksha had mistakenly thought that he was a demon that had somehow followed you all the way here. Thankfully though, you calmed your son down, explained the situation and introduced the two. Malleus actually took quite the liking to him despite the initial frosty reception; saying how the adeptus reminded him of a more quiet version of Sebek.

🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉

"My, look at you. Such a gorgeous mane of fur, those glossy brown scales, curled horns of glowing amber, and those cute whiskers you have. What a magnificent creature you are, my darling."

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

“I’m a big fan” || Tom Blyth x singer!reader

GIFs by me :)

Summary: in which after Tom reveals that he is a big fan of you, especially after you’re a part of soundtrack of tbosas, you and Tom are caught being awfully close to each other a few weeks after.

Warnings: fem!reader

Wc: 643

A/n: Sorry I haven't uploaded a tom blyth x singer!reader fic in abit! I've got another one sitting in my drafts that I need to finish :)

Tom Blyth x singer!reader au masterlist

divider by @pommecita

“Tom and Hunter on…. Y/n Abrams’ Hunger Games single” “So good. It's so good,” Tom says immediately. Hunter squeals, throwing her hands up in the air.

"I love Y/n Abrams," Hunter fangirls, a huge smile plastered on her face. "Yeah, I'm a big fan of her honestly. I hope I get to meet her someday," Tom has never mentioned you on the internet before.

Truthfully, he has always been a fan of your music since you first released your first album and has stayed a loyal fan. He would be lying if he said he didn't have a crush on you, I mean who wouldn't, you are Y/n Abrams.

So when he saw your post on instagram announcing that you were going to be a part of tbosas soundtrack with 'Can't catch me now' Tom was absolutely fangirling

Of course you were familiar with Tom but the two of you have yet to meet. You remember seeing him on screen for the first time when your sister had Billy the Kid playing on your tv at home, and you were hooked.

You understood why the girlies were head over heels for Tom, he was crazy attractive, a gentleman, and an absolute sweetheart. When you saw the interview that mentioned him, you were dying to meet him as well.

Little did he know that you would be attending the LA premiere for the tbosas and would see him for sure. “Y/n, any one in particular your excited to see today?” A woman asks as she directs her mic at you.

“Uh- yeah actually, I’m excited to finally meet Tom!” You couldn’t help but feel the corners of your mouth rise. “Really? Well I interviewed just a couple moments ago and he said the same with you!” Your eyes slightly widen as your eyes look around.

“I think he’s over there,” The woman points to the other side as you thank her before making your way that way. You were whisked into another interview before you could go any further.

As you were talking, you felt a hand on your shoulder as you jump. “Shit-“ “Sorry-“ You turn your head and was pleasantly surprised seeing those pair of blue eyes stare straight back at you. "Tom!" Your smile widens as you grip his biceps, his hands politely gripping your waist.

"Y/n! Finally we meet!" He chuckles as you could feel the rumble coming from his chest. "It's so lovely to meet you," You pull him in for a hug, all the while the camera still focused on the two of you. All though the two of you just met, you felt so comfortable around him, and he felt the exact same way.

"I'm such a big fan, Y/n," He says against the side of your head, his hand rubbing your back before you pull back. "Oh stop, I'm such a big fan of you too, Tom!" You exclaim before you remember you were still mid interview. "Oh! I'm so sorry," You sheepishly smile at the girl who laughed.

"Sorry, It's my fault for interrupting you. I'll see you soon?" Tom butts in, his arm around your shoulder as he pulls you into his chest. It didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable the way the two of you interacted with each other, it was more natural and familiar.

"Yeah of course, I'll see you then," You look up at him, you nearly stopped breathing at how close he was to you. "Bye, darling," He bids you goodbye as you watch his tall figure leaving. "No way the two of you met just then," The young woman asked, shock evident in her tone.

A breathy laugh escapes your lips, "Yep, it feel's like I've known him my entire life!" "It looked like it!" The woman exclaims as the two of you laugh.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

hi!

we see harry’s anger truly manifest in ootp, and it was a treat reading your analysis on his ptsd!

but it’s been a longheld belief in the fandom that harry is this firecracker with concerningly poor anger management. which is absurd, frankly imo, because i understand his default style is quiet, intense intimidation, or sass and snark. except when his fury reaches the threshold of his control, and he lets go fully and spectacularly. we also see in the later books that harry keeps trying to rein in the onslaught of fury pouring from voldemort, and while he does channel that anger outwardly, he isn’t making a habit of frequently lashing out at the people around him.

what i’m really asking is, what are your thoughts on harry’s anger and how he manages his frustrations from age eleven to seventeen?

Hello 👋

Thank you! I love my boy Harry and his anger and trauma so much! His trauma doesn't manifest in the way most fandoms usually like to portray trauma, but I always loved how Harry breaks when he reaches his threshold. He's a fascinating character and I find myself disappointed in his treatment over the years in fanon.

As to your question, boy, okay, this is complex and is greatly affected by Harry's mental state. I mentioned here how his anger is often colder and sassier and the fiery anger that's all shouting and cursing is something we only really see from him in OotP and onwards and I believe is the result of trauma, as I mentioned here & here.

But I decided, you know what? I can take a few scenes of his anger from each book. It's something I have a lot of notes about, and I'm surprised I haven't written about it here yet since it's a subject I love talking about.

Now, I do think he has issues with emotional regulation in general. I mean, he was raised in a cupboard under the stairs, he is not emotionally well-adjusted even if he knows to appear as if he is. His anger and how it manifests is a result of years of trauma and abuse. Honestly, though, he manages his anger better than he could have considering his life experience.

So without further ado:

Philosopher's Stone:

In the first book, we see Harry angry at the Dursleys and their unfair treatment of him. This anger is interesting. He has every reason to be angry but it isn't just anger. It's his frustration and helplessness that he feels as anger because he lacks the tools to understand/deal with his emotions.

How we see this anger come out though, is mostly through sass. And even then he makes sure to run/duck away before they could hurt him:

“They stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,” he told Harry. “Want to come upstairs and practice?” “No, thanks,” said Harry. “The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick.” Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he’d said.

(PS, Ch3)

Harry doesn't really have the luxury to get angry or upset because he's the one who would suffer for it. So, he bottles up all his anger and frustration and only lets it out in cold glares and sass even when he's fuming inside. In his heart of hearts, he wishes he could do something to the Dursleys, to hurt them back, but he can't.

I do want to note that Harry's hold on his range isn't him managing it well, it's him bottling it up. This would be very relevant later in this post.

The incident with the Boa Constrictor is one I like. Harry later refers to it as revenge in a moment of anger:

and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn’t he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it? Hadn’t he set a boa constrictor on him?

(PS, Ch4)

“Out of the way, you,” he said, punching Harry in the ribs. Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor. What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened — one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror. Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor’s tank had vanished. The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits.

(PS, Ch2)

He's unaware that he's doing it, of course, but Harry's magic is powerful and incredibly attuned to him, so of course, it acts up when he's angry. Of course, his magic gets revenge on Dudley when Harry is so angry but feels helpless to do something with it. Harry's magic here shows Harry wishes he could do something, that he could take revenge:

Hagrid almost had to drag Harry away from Curses and Countercurses (Bewitch Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue-Tying and Much, Much More) by Professor Vindictus Viridian. “I was trying to find out how to curse Dudley.”

(PS, Ch5)

He just can't. So he bottles up his anger instead.

The other person we see Harry angry at in the first book, is Snape. Harry responds to Snape quite similar to how he responds to the Dursleys:

“Thought you wouldn’t open a book before coming, eh, Potter?” Harry forced himself to keep looking straight into those cold eyes. He had looked through his books at the Dursleys’, but did Snape expect him to remember everything in One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi? Snape was still ignoring Hermione’s quivering hand. “What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?” At this, Hermione stood up, her hand stretching toward the dungeon ceiling. “I don’t know,” said Harry quietly. “I think Hermione does, though, why don’t you try her?” A few people laughed; Harry caught Seamus’s eye, and Seamus winked. Snape, however, was not pleased.

(PS, Ch8)

He gets angry, inside his head he is fuming, but outside his head, Snape hears a sassy retort said quietly and calmly. Even when Harry is angry he acts calm and quiet and looks like he's joking from Seamus' response. It's why it's so easy for Snape to believe Harry is like James. Harry doesn't show his anger. External he's quiet and sassy becouse he knows if he started shouting he'd be punished more (like at the Dursleys).

So, 11-year-old Harry is quiet outside when angry. Only really shows glares and sass when he's upset while bottling his feelings up. This would continue throughout the years until year 5, for the most part.

Chamber of Secrets:

We see more of this way of handling his anger in CoS (though way less). CoS is not a very angry book, but I found a few examples.

“I have not been visited yet. The name Malfoy still commands a certain respect, yet the Ministry grows ever more meddlesome. There are rumors about a new Muggle Protection Act — no doubt that flea-bitten, Muggleloving fool Arthur Weasley is behind it —” Harry felt a hot surge of anger.

(CoS, Ch4)

Harry is angry. He likes the Weasleys and hates hearing them being talked about like this. Still, no one else sees his anger because he's hiding, and he knows he'd be worse off if he left his hiding spot. Harry isn't all that impulsive (yet). He just swallows his anger down for the sake of what needs to be done — in this case hiding.

“Dobby is used to death threats, sir. Dobby gets them five times a day at home.” He blew his nose on a corner of the filthy pillowcase he wore, looking so pathetic that Harry felt his anger ebb away in spite of himself. [...] Dobby mopped his bulging eyes and said suddenly, “Harry Potter must go home! Dobby thought his Bludger would be enough to make — ” “Your Bludger?” said Harry, anger rising once more. “What d’you mean, your Bludger? You made that Bludger try and kill me?”

(CoS, Ch10)

Here, we see more of Harry's usual anger and how he bottles everything up. He is rightfully angry at Dobby for everything he did, but he also feels pity for him, his anger doesn't cloud Harry's ability to empathize with others. And if you look at the second quote, you see that in his head Harry is rightfully angry at an attempt to murder him but he's talking calmly and quietly. He isn't shouting. He isn't being violent or impolite. Harry's anger, as seen by others, is cold and quiet because he bottles it up.

“And why did you want to meet me?” said Harry. Anger was coursing through him, and it was an effort to keep his voice steady.

(CoS, Ch17)

This is later, when facing Tom. Harry feels betrayed. He wanted so bad to be Tom's freind, he tried so much to ignore what was happening so he could keep his new BFF and first crush. But when he is betrayed, he gets angry, rightfully so, again. And we see he isn't shouting or acting angry and rashly. He's speaking steadily and quietly and makes an active effort to do so.

Harry knows how he comes off and is actively trying to make his voice steady and not sound angry/scared! He's smart and not impulsive. He's very aware of his external behavior and actively conceals his anger from appearing externally.

My boy is angry, but he isn't a brash hothead.

I do want to note another thing about Harry's anger. Harry responds with anger when he's scared, when he's grieving, when he feels helpless. Anger is just the easiest emotional response for him to go to, and it's why he reacts with anger to a lot of the things he goes through. Anger is an emotion he understands, so everything kinda feels like anger that he can keep pushing down.

Prisoner of Azkaban:

In PoA, we have a few interesting scenes showcasing Harry's anger really well. Some of the anger descriptions from this book are my favorite by far but we'll get to it.

This is the first book we start seeing Harry act out in anger. Until now, we saw Harry fuming inside but acting calm to the outside world. In PoA, he still mostly does that, but we start seeing him cracking under the weight of life. That bottle he's been filling up for years is close to it's threshold.

just as Uncle Vernon burst out of the dining room, his trouser leg in bloody tatters. “COME BACK IN HERE!” he bellowed. “COME BACK AND PUT HER RIGHT!” But a reckless rage had come over Harry. He kicked his trunk open, pulled out his wand, and pointed it at Uncle Vernon. “She deserved it,” Harry said, breathing very fast. “She deserved what she got. You keep away from me.”  He fumbled behind him for the latch on the door. “I’m going,” Harry said. “I’ve had enough.”

(PoA, Ch2)

This above has Harry acting rashly and impulsively in anger. He is ready to just up and go in a moment of rage with little to no forethought which isn't how Harry usually operates. Aunt Marge and Vernon just made him reach his tipping point. Some of that anger has spilled out and Harry's acting out because he doesn't know what else to do.

This is a kid who up to this point never even had the chance to grieve his dead parents properly. He never got to just sit there and feel any of what he's going through. He just keeps swallowing it down and here, we see him start to slip. What he's been pushing down is starting to become too much.

I will note that still, even when he is more brash and angry here, he isn't shouting. He's speaking calmly and evenly even as he's raging inside.

I also want to note the situation with Hermione over the Firebolt:

Professor McGonagall turned on her heel and carried the Firebolt out of the portrait hole, which closed behind her. Harry stood staring after her, the tin of High-Finish Polish still clutched in his hands. Ron, however, rounded on Hermione. “What did you go running to McGonagall for?” [...] Harry knew that Hermione had meant well, but that didn’t stop him from being angry with her. He had been the owner of the best broom in the world for a few short hours, and now, because of her interference, he didn’t know whether he would ever see it again. He was positive that there was nothing wrong with the Firebolt now, but what sort of state would it be in once it had been subjected to all sorts of anti-jinx tests? Ron was furious with Hermione too.

(PoA, Ch11-12)

Harry is mad at Hermione, he has his reasons to be, but he understands why she did it. He is angry, but he's smart and empathetic and he knows Hermione. He knows she only wants him safe, he's still mad, but he doesn't shout at her like Ron does. He pushes his anger down because he doesn't want to upset her. He;s not as furious as Ron is.

In the early books, we see Ron stepping forward to curse Malfoy, shout at Hermione, or stop talking to Harry over the tournament. Ron's the one that is more hot-headed in the early books and springs to act in moments of anger while Harry tends to stay cool-headed (because he pushes his anger down). He is angry inside his head, but he stays calm outside and even stops Ron from going after Malfoy (eat slugs incident, Harry tried to stop him).

(I will note this might have to do with Ron having siblings. Letting your emotions out is a good thing. It is a good thing to tell people you are close to you are upset with them. Arguing with your siblings and shouting at them on occasion can even be healthy! It can keep you from creating grudges and getting bitter. It's not necessarily bad. It's just that Harry and Hermione didn't have siblings and don't know how healthy arguments between people who love each other (which is what Ron is going for with Hermione above) work.)

One of my favorite moments of Harry's anger in the series is everything to do with Sirius when he thinks he's guilty:

A hatred such as he had never known before was coursing through Harry like poison. He could see Black laughing at him through the darkness

(PoA, Ch11)

A boiling hate erupted in Harry’s chest, leaving no place for fear. For the first time in his life, he wanted his wand back in his hand, not to defend himself, but to attack . . . to kill. [...] “NO YOU DON’T!” roared Harry, and he aimed a kick at Crookshanks that made the cat leap aside, spitting; Harry snatched up his wand and turned �� “Get out of the way!” he shouted at Ron and Hermione. They didn’t need telling twice. [...] Black was sprawled at the bottom of the wall. His thin chest rose and fell rapidly as he watched Harry walking slowly nearer, his wand pointing straight at Black’s heart. “Going to kill me, Harry?” he whispered. Harry stopped right above him, his wand still pointing at Black’s chest, looking down at him. A livid bruise was rising around Black’s left eye and his nose was bleeding. “You killed my parents,” said Harry, his voice shaking slightly, but his wand hand quite steady.

(PoA, Ch17)

This is the first occurrence we see Harry in a true rage. The kind of anger that pushes him to act impulsively and violently. Harry actually screams in rage.

It's not unreasonable, he thinks Sirius betrayed his parents, these same parents Harry never really got the chance to mourn. But Harry doesn't really shout when angry, he's quiet in his anger usually. But here he actually roars out. He demands Ron and Hermione move from his way, he kicks Crookchanks and goes to kill Sirius. Harry is acting completely from anger without really thinking or realizing what he's doing. This is the kind of rage where you see red and don't really know what you're doing until you're doing it.

I love how he describes it: "coursing through Harry like poison". It's just such a visceral description for a very visceral emotion. This isn't Harry's usual anger, this is rage, this is beyond his usual anger. It's the type of anger most fans associate with him because of OotP. This uncontrolled rage that pushes him to be impulsive is a trauma response. It comes up when Harry is at an emotional low. When there's too much, when he feels to many things and he can't handle them all so he lashes out in anger.

In this case, Harry is facing the man he believes sold out his parents, who trusted him, of course, he's angry and betrayed. Of course, it's different from the anger he feels when Snape is being a dick. It is different. It's rage, and grief, and fear, and pain, and it's a cry for help.

Harry has an impressive capacity to bottle up his emotions, but from book 3, we see him teetering on the threshold. And it just gets worse from here (like his experiences in the books).

Goblet of Fire:

GoF is a rough year, and Harry is very angry throughout this year. Still, we see his usual "cold anger" not his rage. He's angry inside his head, we see it, but he doesn't act out on any of it, nor does he even say anything about it. He's bottling it all up. If we weren't reading his thoughts, we probably wouldn't have these gems of anger:

Harry’s ears were ringing. The injustice of it made him want to curse Snape into a thousand slimy pieces. He passed Snape, walked with Ron to the back of the dungeon, and slammed his bag down onto the table. Ron was shaking with anger too — for a moment, it felt as though everything was back to normal between them, but then Ron turned and sat down with Dean and Seamus instead, leaving Harry alone at his table. On the other side of the dungeon, Malfoy turned his back on Snape and pressed his badge, smirking. POTTER STINKS flashed once more across the room. Harry sat there staring at Snape as the lesson began, picturing horrific things happening to him. . . . If only he knew how to do the Cruciatus Curse . . . he’d have Snape flat on his back like that spider, jerking and twitching. . . .

(GoF, Ch18)

Harry felt oddly separate from everyone around him, whether they were wishing him good luck or hissing “We’ll have a box of tissues ready, Potter ” as he passed. It was a state of nervousness so advanced that he wondered whether he mightn’t just lose his head when they tried to lead him out to his dragon, and start trying to curse everyone in sight.

(GoF, Ch20)

Harry spends a good chunk of GoF wishing he could curse Snape, other students, and even Ron occasionally. He feels helpless and that makes him angry. But he doesn't actually curse anyone. He doesn't even sass Snape in the above example, he just glares.

But you'll notice, again, the way he handles his anger/other issues is not really about mastering the emotion and letting it go. No, Harry just holds that anger in. He never learned to let it go, so all the times, his anger came off as cold and chill to others; it's because Harry's keeping a lid on things. By GoF, Harry can barely keep the cap on:

From the moment the article had appeared, Harry had had to endure people — Slytherins, mainly — quoting it at him as he passed and making sneering comments. “Want a hanky, Potter, in case you start crying in Transfiguration?” “Since when have you been one of the top students in the school, Potter? Or is this a school you and Longbottom have set up together?” “Hey — Harry!” “Yeah, that’s right!” Harry found himself shouting as he wheeled around in the corridor, having had just about enough. “I’ve just been crying my eyes out over my dead mum, and I’m just off to do a bit more. . . .” “No — it was just — you dropped your quill.” It was Cho. Harry felt the color rising in his face.

(GoF, Ch19)

And so we get scenes like the above. Harry is walking around like a powder keg waiting to explode. He has been bottling his frustration and anger all his life, he comes off as chill not because he manages it well but because he hides it. He makes his voice steady and quiet because it's what he learned at the Dursleys, but it's not that the anger disappears, he holds onto all of it. That's why the worse the situation is, the worse Harry's anger is. He doesn't have the capacity to push it all down.

And this is why he occasionally starts blowing up in GoF. The more helpless and frustrated he is, the more his bottle is filled and he just can't handle it beyond a certain point.

Order of the Pheonix:

OotP is Harry at his angriest. If I wanted to copy all the qoutes from this book that show Harry's anger, I'd probably have to copy the whole book. As it is, I've hand-picked a few examples:

“SO YOU HAVEN’T BEEN IN THE MEETINGS, BIG DEAL! YOU’VE STILL BEEN HERE, HAVEN’T YOU? YOU’VE STILL BEEN TOGETHER! ME, I’VE BEEN STUCK AT THE DURSLEYS’ FOR A MONTH! AND I’VE HANDLED MORE THAN YOU TWO’VE EVER MANAGED AND DUMBLEDORE KNOWS IT — WHO SAVED THE SORCERER’S STONE? WHO GOT RID OF RIDDLE? WHO SAVED BOTH YOUR SKINS FROM THE DEMENTORS?” Every bitter and resentful thought that Harry had had in the past month was pouring out of him; his frustration at the lack of news, the hurt that they had all been together without him, his fury at being followed and not told about it: All the feelings he was half-ashamed of finally burst their boundaries. Hedwig took fright at the noise and soared off on top of the wardrobe again; Pigwidgeon twittered in alarm and zoomed even faster around their heads. “WHO HAD TO GET PAST DRAGONS AND SPHINXES AND EVERY OTHER FOUL THING LAST YEAR? WHO SAW HIM COME BACK? WHO HAD TO ESCAPE FROM HIM? ME!” [...] Harry was not sure his anger had abated yet; but his thirst for information was now overcoming his urge to keep shouting. He sank onto the bed opposite the others.

(OotP, Ch4)

There are two aspects I want to note about his anger here. Harry, as I mentioned above, even when he is mad at Ron and Hermione, he usually doesn't shout at them like this. This is Harry way past his threshold, traumatized with no idea how to handle any of the emotions he's feeling. Ron and Hermione are getting the brunt of that bottle exploding here.

And Harry has a good reason to be angry with them here, don't get me wrong. Harry usually has really good reasons to be angry. I'm just noting that he would have held back his anger if he wasn't in the worst emotional state we've seen from him up to this point. If he had the capacity in his bottle of emotions, Ron and Hermione wouldn't even know he was upset with them.

The other thing I want to bring up is the second section from the above quote. After Harry lets out a bit of the steam he's been building up for years by this point he swallows it down and caps it again because he wants information. He's still angry, he's still upset, but he holds his tongue to get information. He still doesn't feel free or capable of explaining why he's feeling what he's feeling. A lot of it isn't just anger at Ron and Hermione. It's everything. And he has no idea how to parse what he's feeling.

Like I mentioned in the past, Harry doesn't like showing weakness, he doesn't tend to act emotionally or rashly because he knows how people see it. But he isn't actually letting go of all that anger, he lets it build up:

“Harry?” said Hermione tentatively. “Well done,” said Harry, so heartily it did not sound like his voice at all, and still not looking at her. “Brilliant. Prefect. Great.” “Thanks,” said Hermione. “Erm — Harry — could I borrow Hedwig so I can tell Mum and Dad? They’ll be really pleased — I mean, prefect is something they can understand —” “Yeah, no problem,” said Harry, still in the horrible hearty voice that did not belong to him. “Take her!”

(OotP, Ch9)

And up.

He just keeps pushing his anger down. If Sirius hadn't noticed and told him that he and James weren't prefects either, Harry would've kept stewing in it. Because he wouldn't have told Ron and Hermione he was jealous because he doesn't really tell anyone shit. He just lets it build:

“Oh, shut up, the pair of you,” said Harry heavily, as Ron opened his mouth to argue back. Hermione and Ron both froze, looking angry and offended. “Can’t you give it a rest?” he said. “You’re always having a go at each other, it’s driving me mad.” And abandoning his shepherd’s pie, he swung his schoolbag back over his shoulder and left them sitting there. He walked up the marble staircase two steps at a time, past the many students hurrying toward lunch. The anger that had just flared so unexpectedly still blazed inside him, and the vision of Ron and Hermione’s shocked faces afforded him a sense of deep satisfaction. Serve them right, he thought. Why can’t they give it a rest? . . . Bickering all the time . . . It’s enough to drive anyone up the wall. . . .

(OotP, Ch12)

And keeps snapping at everyone becouse he doesn't have a handle on his emotions. He doesn't really process what he's gone through/going through and he's lashing out.

Harry's anger in OotP is the powder keg blowing. It's why he's more rash, more vocal, actually screaming at people in a way he hasn't before. It's why we see him lose control of himself in anger more than before:

Harry was not aware of releasing George, all he knew was that a second later both of them were sprinting at Malfoy. He had completely forgotten the fact that all the teachers were watching: All he wanted to do was cause Malfoy as much pain as possible. With no time to draw out his wand, he merely drew back the fist clutching the Snitch and sank it as hard as he could into Malfoy’s stomach — “Harry! HARRY! GEORGE! NO !” He could hear girls’ voices screaming, Malfoy yelling, George swearing, a whistle blowing, and the bellowing of the crowd around him, but he did not care, not until somebody in the vicinity yelled “IMPEDIMENTA!” and only when he was knocked over backward by the force of the spell did he abandon the attempt to punch every inch of Malfoy he could reach. . . .

(OotP, Ch19)

Because he reached his limit of how much he can bottle up and he has no healthy means of letting any of it out. The D.A. helped a little as a distraction, it helped him feel less helpless, but he only just addressed the traumatic experience he had in the graveyard by talking about it when more just kept getting piled up onto him.

“Harry — no!” cried Lupin, but Harry had already ripped his arm from Lupin’s slackened grip. “SHE KILLED SIRIUS!” bellowed Harry. “SHE KILLED HIM — I’LL KILL HER!”….. [...] Hatred rose in Harry such as he had never known before. He flung himself out from behind the fountain and bellowed “Crucio!” Bellatrix screamed. The spell had knocked her off her feet, but she did not writhe and shriek with pain as Neville had — she was already on her feet again, breathless, no longer laughing. [...] “Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy?” she yelled. She had abandoned her baby voice now. “You need to mean them, Potter! You need to really want to cause pain — to enjoy it — righteous anger won’t hurt me for long — I’ll show you how it is done, shall I? I’ll give you a lesson —”

(OotP, Ch36)

Running after Bellatrix was an impulsive decision. It's that same rage that overtook Harry to kick Crokshanks and try to kill Sirius. It's that seeing red sort of rage that encompasses everything. Grief overflowing Harry's emotional bottle and all he knows how to react with — is anger.

Harry, as I mentioned in the past, doesn't cry in front of others. He doesn't let himself. and the emotions gotta get out somehow. For Harry, that somehow is anger.

Half-Blood Prince:

After Sirius' death, Harry is much rawer. He basically starts this book beyond his threshold.

“If there’s anyone else here who’s not from Gryffindor,” roared Harry, who was starting to get seriously annoyed, “leave now, please!”

(HBP, Ch11)

So he gets annoyed more easily. He lashes out and shouts more often. He tries to physically attack more often too:

“Another ten points from Gryffindor,” said Snape. “I would expect nothing more sophisticated from you, Ronald Weasley, the boy so solid he cannot Apparate half an inch across a room.” “No!” whispered Hermione, grabbing Harry’s arm as he opened his mouth furiously. “There’s no point, you’ll just end up in detention again, leave it!”

(HBP, Ch21)

Something he didn't do up until OotP and even then rarely. Harry is hot-headed not because he's easy to anger (again, his capacity for bottling up is impressive if he just seriously started lashing out in GoF), most of his grievances are reasonable, he's hot-headed becouse he's suffering and has no idea how to handle it.

“Just now!” said Harry, who was refraining from yelling with enormous difficulty. And then, suddenly, he could not stop himself. “AND YOU LET HIM TEACH HERE AND HE TOLD VOLDEMORT TO GO AFTER MY MUM AND DAD!” Breathing hard as though he was fighting, Harry turned away from Dumbledore, who still had not moved a muscle, and paced up and down the study, rubbing his knuckles in his hand and exercising every last bit of restraint to prevent himself knocking things over. He wanted to rage and storm at Dumbledore, but he also wanted to go with him to try and destroy the Horcrux; he wanted to tell him that he was a foolish old man for trusting Snape, but he was terrified that Dumbledore would not take him along unless he mastered his anger. ... “Harry,” said Dumbledore quietly. “Please listen to me.”

(HBP, Ch25)

Again, he snaps and shouts way more than before. And he knows he shouldn't, he knows it comes off bad and people take him less seriously when he's angry and lashing out, but he can't help it as much since he still hasn't started letting go. He's still at his threshold all throughout HBP.

It's why we see him react the way he does after Snape kills Dumbledore, too. He was so angry all year. Since Sirius died, he's been running on fumes. The keg already blew in fifth year, and it didn't help him at all while he's barely holding himself together (but no one else sees this). And then, he had more pushed onto him after he already had less than zero capacity to deal with things.

Deathly Hallows:

Much of the anger we see from Harry in this book is due to either the locket or the Horcrux in him, but I'm not counting that sort of anger. I want to focus on Harry's anger.

The grief that had possessed him since Dumbledore’s death felt different now. The accusations he had heard from Muriel at the wedding seemed to have nested in his brain like diseased things, infecting his memories of the wizard he had idolized. Could Dumbledore have let such things happen? Had he been like Dudley, content to watch neglect and abuse as long as it did not affect him? Could he have turned his back on a sister who was being imprisoned and hidden? Harry thought of Godric’s Hollow, of graves Dumbledore had never mentioned there; he thought of mysterious objects left without explanation in Dumbledore’s will, and resentment swelled in the darkness. Why hadn’t Dumbledore told him? Why hadn’t he explained? Had Dumbledore actually cared about Harry at all? Or had Harry been nothing more than a tool to be polished and honed, but not trusted, never confided in? Harry could not stand lying there with nothing but bitter thoughts for company. Desperate for something to do, for distraction, he slipped out of his sleeping bag, picked up his wand, and crept out of the room.

(DH, Ch10)

Harry's feelings of grief over Dumbledore are interwind with betrayal, helplessness, and feeling lost in general, and he feels all of it as anger. As I mentioned above, anger is Harry's go-to emotion when he's grieving, when he's in pain, when he feels too much and has no idea what to do with any of it — it lands him in anger.

It's a big part of why he reads as so angry with Dumbledore throughout the book. He has complicated feelings about the man, feelings he has no idea how to even start to unpack, so he feels angry.

In DH too, we see him more easily agitated than in the first 4 books. Harry is way past his limit in this book, but he tries so hard not to show it. To keep that lid on (nevermind that it exploded two years ago).

“I’d never have believed this,” Harry said. “The man who taught me to fight dementors—a coward.” Lupin drew his wand so fast that Harry had barely reached for his own; there was a loud bang and he felt himself flying backward as if punched; as he slammed into the kitchen wall and slid to the floor, he glimpsed the tail of Lupin’s cloak disappearing around the door. “Remus, Remus, come back!” Hermione cried, but Lupin did not respond. A moment later they heard the front door slam. “Harry!” wailed Hermione. “How could you?” “It was easy,” said Harry. He stood up; he could feel a lump swelling where his head had hit the wall. He was still so full of anger he was shaking. “Don’t look at me like that!” he snapped at Hermione. “Don’t you start on her!” snarked Ron. “No—no—we mustn’t fight!” said Hermione, launching herself between them.

(DH, Ch11)

He's shaking from anger. His voice is calm and quiet like his usual response for hiding his anger, but he can't fully hide it. His body gives him away becouse he feels so much of it.

Harry was 100% right to call Lupin out, but I think the ruler way he did it was because he's suffering. He's in emotional turmoil, and twisting his words like a knife, in a way he knew would hurt Lupin, made him feel a little better. It let him take some of that anger out. It is a form of lashing out.

Him snapping at Hermione after and being ready to fist fight Ron is an extension of this lashing out. Harry, when at his limit, lashes out in anger becouse it's all he really knows how.

(He needs a better grieving method. He needs a fucking hug and for someone to tell him he's allowed to cry. He needs a good cry. I think it's why he's calmer after going to Godric's Hallow. He cried a little, grieved his parents, truly, for the first time in his life, and it helped him let some of his pain out in a healthier way)

“It’s not a case of what you’ll permit, Minerva McGonagall. You time’s over. It’s us what’s in charge here now, and you’ll back me up or you’ll pay the price.” And he spat in her face. Harry pulled the Cloak off himself, raised his wand, and said, “You shouldn’t have done that.” As Amycus spun around, Harry shouted, “Crucio!” The Death Eater was lifted off his feet. He writhed through the air like a drowning man, thrashing and howling in pain, and then, with a crunch and a shattering of glass, he smashed into the front of a bookcase and crumpled, insensible, to the floor. “I see what Bellatrix meant,” said Harry, the blood thundering through his brain, “you need to really mean it.”

(DH, Ch30)

Still, things just keep getting added onto his plate. How I see Harry's anger is why I don't think the above scene is out of character for him. His anger fueling the curse isn't just about Amycus spiting at McGonagall. It's about how they tortured Neville, Ginny, and Luna. About his year on the run. About Dobby's death. About him being forced into a position he feels he wants ready for and has no idea what to do. This is years of feeling angry and helpless coming to ahead.

Amycus didn't suffer just for that one crime of his. Spitting on McGonagall just happened to be the straw that broke the camel's back.

To Summerise:

Harry isn't really good at managing his anger, or any other emotion really. He bottles it all up. His frustration, fear, grief, anger, helplessness, and pain all go together into Harry's little box of feelings so he can do whatever he needs to do and appear calm and quiet. It's why we see Harry fuming and boiling with rage inside his head while he's externally calm and cold and composed.

This lid he keeps on everything starts breaking as the emotions keep getting bottled up and he keeps not really processing them. So in GoF Harry is teetering on his very impressive threshold and then, after the graveyard, he breaks.

He suffered so much all at once and then was left alone to stew at the Dursleys for a whole month, suffering from nightmares and having no idea how to process any of what he's been through. Of course, he fucking breaks in OotP.

And when Harry breaks, all these emotions he kept down come out as anger. The reason he reacts so dramatically to smaller offenses post-OotP isn't that he's easy to anger, he really isn't. It's just that he has accumulated pain and grief from 14 years of trauma and abuse that are just now being let out in the form of Harry angrily lashing out.

So, I wouldn't say his anger management is amazing, but his problem isn't really the anger itself, it's emotional regulation in general. He needs to learn to deal with his emotions instead of bottling them up. If he does, he probably won't have any issues with anger management and would just sass his way through life.

[adventures-in-mangaland]

Yet Another Dead Boy Detective Fic Rec List

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I've been having so much fun with these, so I've decided to make another! See above for links to my other fic rec lists. ♥️

Like We're Gonna Die Young (Again) by RoseGanymede95

The latest installment in the superb Codependency World Cup series has the boys attend a nefarious house party and grapple with old frenemies, 90s fashion and temporary amnesia. Also fleshes out their achingly sad backstories, but compensates with the triumphant return of Pierre the rabbit.

When I Picture You by Gruoch

Charles gets braceleted by the Cat King instead of Edwin and receives his heart's desire... being alive again. This author has a special gift for taking fun sounding premises and turning the angst up to 11. So excellent.

young blood (never get chained) by ghostinthelibrary

University AU in which half-demon Charles intervenes in Edwin's ritual sacrifice and inadvertently binds their souls together... I'm genuinely obsessed with this AU, it has so much potential for tons of delicious tropes. Human!Edwin getting a crash course in supernatural shenanigans! Soulmate vibes!Found Family! Demon lore! What's not to love??

Ghosts and Monsters by justafandomfollower

Charles is also sacrificed and the boys meet in Hell! Fantastic premise and executed really well. I loved Masterful Edwin taking charge and protecting Charles while inwardly despairing. Highly recommended.

back to back they faced each other by ShanaStoryteller

The Night Nurse has a theory about how Charles was able to rescue Edwin from Hell so quickly... I'm genuinely shocked I haven't recced this one already. Sorry guys, I forgor. Anyway, this has interesting "Guardian" (angel?) lore, great meta and we even get some temporary amnesia as a treat.

boyfriend jacket by skadii

5+1 times Edwin borrowed Charles' jacket. The characterisation is on point, and it has some great OCs (Kyle the snarky seeing-eye cat!) and really sweet payneland moments. Plus Charles' jacket doing its most to annoy the Cat King.

Looking Like the Sunrise by letters_of_stars

Edwin thinks he's cursed so he and Crystal must team up to solve the case of his Mysterious and Suddenly Appearing Rizz. Funny and sweet friendship fic with some quality Edwin-Crystal bonding and discussions of trauma.

The Case of the Anonymous Confession by Mayarenerose

College AU featuring Charles posting an 'anonymous' online confession about his complicated feelings for his bestie. The closet is glass, but Edwin is oblivious and Crystal is in pain. Cute and funny epistolary social media fic done really well.

the middle of something wonderful by KiaraSayre

Does what it says on the tin and gives us a trope salad of cosy vignettes, including a time loop, temporary amnesia, sudden corporality and Crystal and Edwin trying to get a good grade in Party. Wholesome.

My heart is like a haunted house (series) by halffulljampot

Charles (unknowingly) befriends the ghost of Edwin's mother and constantly gushes to her about his amazing best friend/boyfriend. Beatrice is a great OC and it's just nice (though extra tragic) to read a fic in which Edwin had loving parents. Read it for Family Feels and wholesome intergenerational friendship.

the first rule of fight club by e_va

The boys are captured by an evil underground fighting ring. The fic is from Charles' PoV, so the prospect of having to fight Edwin was especially stomach-churning. Still, we get Edwin being a badass and a brilliant surprise cameo I don't want to spoil.

The Case of The... by sophisticatedyet

Edwin borrows Niko's negligee and Charles' brain breaks. There's also a case and giant squids, but Charles' Distracted By The Sexy crisis is the main (hilarious) event.

in those heavy days when love became an act of defiance by aletterinthenameofsanity, JUBE514

Daemon AU and first meeting fic! Loved the worldbuilding, insightful character work and lovely use of Greek mythology. Honestly, this fandom needs more daemon AUs.

spinning around and around in an ocean of grief (your ladder came down to the sea) by Ingi

Prequel to DontOffendTheBees' excellent College AU, expanding on the boys being alive and in school together. Also has its own prequel about their first meeting from Edwin's point of view. This one, though, is a Charles' Bisexual Journey/Feelings Realization fic. So lovely.

head in the clouds but my gravity's centered by shadowquill17

Face Touching: The Fic. I just love non-sexual intimacy in fics and this one is so tender. I also love Accidental Kissing and Feelings Realization so my cup runneth over.

i don't want to rest in peace by handwrittenhello

Different First Meeting fic featuring Poltergeist Charles! Loved the concept, even though it made me sad.

the great snogging debacle of '95 by thatgayprince

Edwin disguises himself as a girl and Charles starts and then defers a sexuality crisis for 30 years. Funny, steamy and emotional.

a beautiful day to say goodbye by ofstitches

The agency take on the case of a depressed house. This is another bittersweet Edwin backstory fic with discussions of grief.

Smitten in the Stacks by cordelianoir

Adorable prequel to lolotr's equally adorable library AU. Meet cute featuring (platonically married) Dad!Charles crushing on the hot librarian who leads Children's Storytime.

Jenny Green: Butcher, Hot Mess, Reluctant Queer Elder by Money_Maker

Jenny-centric fic! The focus is on Jenny and her financial, mental and emotional struggles post-canon, but mentoring Edwin through his queer self-discovery becomes a big part of that. This turns into a really sweet friendship, plus Found Family Feels and some fun outsider PoV of the boys' dynamic.

I've always got more recs so watch this space! ❤️

[splonk-fox]

The flaws of Jax and Ragatha, and why they matter to Pomni's character arc.

Within the two episodes of The Amazing Digital Circus that have been released so far as of writing this post, there have been two characters who have been given the most attention and depth out of any of the cast (ignoring Pomni obviously), and those two characters are Ragatha and Jax.

The duo consisting of the kindhearted optimist and the meanspirited pessimist have without a doubt become some of the most interesting characters to analyze within this series so far thanks to how much meaningful screentime and character depth they have been given within the the two episodes that we viewers have been fortunate enough to witness with our very eyes.

But why is this? Why is it that these two have received special attention from the writers so far, and what role do they play in Pomni's character journey? Well I believe I may have found the answer, and it's unfortunately one that does not spell a good future for these characters. But to truly understand where I am coming from, we must first understand who these two characters are and how they relate to our main protagonist.

To start off with the kindest of the duo, we have already learned quite a lot about Ragatha thanks to the two episodes she has been featured in so far.

Her most prominent character trait is without a doubt her kindness. She is the first person to really be genuinely nice to Pomni upon her entrance to the circus and spends the rest of the episode showing her around the place and trying her best to help her get settled in.

She's also someone who doesn't like to be overly blunt with her responses, such is shown when Pomni asks how they leave the circus, to which Ragatha, instead of just saying that she couldn't, phrases it in a way that makes it sound as if they simply haven't found a way to leave yet, this was obviously done in an attempt to not freak Pomni out too much, though this doesn't really go anywhere thanks to Jax.

Now that's great and all, Ragatha's a nice person, you can easily observe that through casual watches of the show, looking deeper however, you can see that there is a lot more going on with Ragatha than she would like to make you believe.

Insecurity is another trait that Ragatha has that, while not shown off as prominently as her optimism, is still very important to Ragatha's character.

As we see in episode 2 of the series, one of Ragatha's biggest fears is not being liked. She vents to Kinger about how she feels like Pomni doesn't really like her that much, and that clearly scares her. And why wouldn't it? The end of episode 2 makes it clear that one of the most important things in this show when it comes to keeping the main cast mentally stable, is their sense of community.

They're all in this together, they have each other's backs and will do their best to be there for each other when it's needed. That is what is communicated to us within the second episode through Kaufmo's funeral.

This segment of the episode, while somber in its tone, is also one that instills hope within Pomni and the viewer. Because it shows that despite everything, the circus members do care about each other. That abstraction is something that affects everyone and it isn't something that is just brushed off immediately, which if you recall, was the crux of Pomni's fears as seen at the beginning of the second episode, the fear of being forgotten, the fear of no one caring.

"I don't even remember her name honestly" - Dream Jax.

So with how the importance of community has been firmly established within this show's messaging at this point, it should be no surprise that Ragatha's biggest fear is not having that community. Of people not liking you, of people hating you. So how does Ragatha solve this?

Repression, that's how. Of all of Ragatha's personality traits her tendency to not display her true feelings towards things are without a doubt the most damaging.

The best example of this is how she reacts to Pomni abandoning her for the exit. The pilot would lead you to believe that she was mad at Pomni for doing this, that she didn't trust her anymore because of this selfish act.

And yet, that's all brushed to the side in the following episode. Ragatha is back to her optimistic self and is saying that everything is fine! That it was completely understandable and that there was no bad blood between them. Yet you can tell that isn't the whole truth, that Ragatha really didn't get over what Pomni had done to her that easily.

Now do I think Ragatha hates Pomni or secretly resents her? No, not really. I do think she's being honest when she says that she doesn't hold anything against her for doing this. But that doesn't mean she wasn't hurt by it. We can see clear as day from the pilot that this did affect her, so why does she act like she doesn't?

Because, from her perspective, her feelings do not matter. The only thing that does is to make sure Pomni is able to adjust, to make sure that everyone is happy, that everyone is still somewhat sane within the circus, and so she compromises her emotions in order to do this. Gooseworx has even said it herself that Ragatha often says things she doesn't necessarily mean in order to ease tensions. She doesn't want to cause conflict, she doesn't want people to fight with each other because she understands how important community is to the members of the circus persisting.

Yet in the midst of all of this, what Ragatha fails to realize is that with how she currently handles things, she is paving the way for her own mental break.

Ragatha, in her attempts to be there for others, has walled herself off from others being there for her. By lying about how she really feels about things, by acting as if she is fine, she is not allowing herself the emotional vulnerability necessary for others to be there for her when she needs it.

The closest thing we have had to this so far is with Kinger, and while having someone she feels comfortable enough to lament her feelings around is a good thing, this is one person, one person who is... not exactly mentally stable, to put it lightly. Is not exactly an end all be all solution to her problems.

Kinger being the only person who Ragatha can rely on is only gonna work for a limited amount of time, the more she represses, the more she hides her true emotions and clear mental instability, the closer she is to meeting a cruel fate, one that no one would be able to save her from because no one even realized there was something wrong with her. For in her pursuit to make everyone else happy, she has sacrificed her own happiness, as a result.

And then there's Jax.

Jax, in a lot of ways, is pretty much the polar opposite of Ragatha. While her leading trait is kindness, Jax's leading trait is being a complete and utter asshole. And while Ragatha is all about answering things in a roundabout way to ease stress, Jax is all about the blunt answers.

This is best shown to us in the pilot when, in the same scene where Ragatha tries to answer Pomni's question of "how do I leave?" in a way that wouldn't stress her out too heavily, Jax goes straight in with the "you can't". Jax is a pessimist, he has accepted that there is no way out, and is simply riding things as they go by.

Jax's leading character trait is all about causing as much chaos as he can for the sake of his own satisfaction. He doesn't care about how others feel, the only thing he cares about is causing as much chaos as possible simply because he can.

Yet that isn't all that's going on with Jax, there's something deeper here, something more complex.

When it comes to the scenes everyone points to when saying that Jax has a lot more going on with him than meets the eye, the scene where he reacts to Kaufmo's funeral is the one everyone looks at with an analytical lens, and that's for a good reason.

For I think this little scene might just tell us a lot more about Jax than we think.

One thing that I've come to notice about Jax's brand of chaos is that it's very reliant on others' reactions. All of the chaos he causes, all of the absurd and awful things he does are for the sake of seeing how others react. From throwing Pomni over the side of a truck and attempting to use her as a human bridge, or literally everything that he does to Gangle, it's all reaction-based, and that made me realize that, despite how selfish and uncaring he acts towards everyone else, community is still the one thing that truly matters most.

He needs the others so that they can react to his hijinx, as they are what give said actions meaning. If he had no crowd to watch as he acts like a shitty person, then he has no reason to do anything. But that is also where Jax's true character flaw comes in, his selfishness.

With how Jax is constantly pushing others around for the sake of his own amusement, Jax is very clearly a self-centered person. He is someone who is in it for himself and no one else. Who cares if others don't like him? Who cares if others despise him? As long as he gets to see funny things happen to people, he is gonna be okay.

But what happens when that method is no longer effective? What happens when the others don't give him the reaction he wants? What happens when he can no longer use chaos as a way to distract from the pointlessness of his reality?

Well, as scary as this may be to think about, Jax won't really have much of anything to fall back on. His cruel actions have wrote him into a corner. No one likes him, that much is obvious. And while Jax seems content with this now? What happens when he is put in the position of needing someone else's help?

Well, then he'll have no one, and it's ironically for the exact opposite reason to Ragatha. Ragatha's problem is that she is constantly repressing her emotions, despite the fact that she has people who care about her, she doesn't open up to them because in her eyes, her feelings are secondary to others'.

Yet Jax is the opposite, he's honest, he is self-centered, and that's also why he is one of the members who are in this most danger.

In a show that seems to be about how important community is and how important it is to stay together and be there for each other? To have a character who is the complete opposite of that. To have someone who doesn't care about others, who won't be there when someone else is hurting. To have someone who is actively making things harder for everyone... that just spells out demise.

Jax's true weakness is that he does not have a community who will be there for him when he needs it, he was never there for others so why should they be there for him? Meaning that when Jax is at the end of his rope, crying out for help, no one will listen, because as cruel as it sounds, most of the members would probably be happy that he's gone.

While this does admittedly rely a bit on speculation, I think what I've stated above might be the true reason for why Jax looked sad for a moment when the other characters were talking about the funerals held for those who have abstracted. Because in that small moment, he realizes he might not get a funeral of his own when he "dies", or if he did, no one would really have anything nice to say about him.

And that fear, that knowing of how the way you've built yourself up by putting others down has lead to everyone hating you, to everyone not having a single good thing to say about you... that is terrifying. And yet he hides it, he walks away, he refuses to attend the funeral because then he will have to be confronted with the uncomfortable reality of the fact that he won't die as someone who was remembered for doing good things.

The only thing he'll be remembered for, is how much everyone hated him. And all of that brings us right back, to Pomni.

I said at the beginning of this post, as well as with the title itself, that Ragatha and Jax matter to Pomni's character arc, but why is this? Sure they're both main characters so obviously they're going to influence her journey going forward, but how exactly does any of this matter to Pomni? It's simple really.

Ragatha and Jax represent two extremes, they represent what happens when you lean too far in one direction. In one case, it is caring too much about others and not caring about yourself, and in the other, it's caring too much about yoursef and not caring about others.

Pomni has already shown traits of both Jax and Ragatha. She has shown an empathetic, kindhearted side as seen in her interactions with Gummigoo, and she has shown a selfish side, as seen when she abandoned Ragatha for the "exit" in the pilot.

Pomni has shown herself to be both selfish and selfless. But what part of her matters more? Simple answer, both. It is important to care about others while also taking time to take care of yourself. Ragatha and Jax show what happens when you forget to do one of these things.

By always taking care of others, you're forgetting to take care of yourself, and by always taking care of yourself, you fail to take care of others. To find a healthy balance is to do both. To be aware of your own mental health while also making sure that others are doing okay too. And this is something that Pomni will need to realize if she is going to make it in the circus.

And this is where Jax and Ragatha become important. I believe these two will show Pomni how important it is to keep a balance of things. To not lean too far in one direction, as if you do, it spells bad news for you either way. And how will this be communicated to her and the audience?

Abstraction.

Think about it. If Ragatha and Jax's harmful practices continue without change and they end up abstracing because of it, that will be a wakeup call to Pomni, it will show her the flaws of being too selfless, and too selfish. Is it an extreme way to communicate such message? Sure, but it's also one that can't be ignored.

We, the audience, and Pomni, would see first hand the consequences of leaning too far in either direction, that if you don't find a balance, you will end up like Jax and Ragatha did.

And that's why I think these two in particular have been given so much screentime and attention these past two episodes. Because they are meant to show us the most extreme versions of Pomni's most prominent character traits.

The ability to care about yourself, and the ability to care about others.

Of course, I might be wrong in this assessment. We are far too early in the show's runtime to truly predict any big events like this. But from a narrative standpoint, I believe this interpretation makes the most sense in the way of showing us the audience, and Pomni, what truly matters. It's not just about you, it's not just about others, it's about both.

Thank you for reading.

[aritsukemo]

Utterly Devoted To You | Furina De Fontaine

Furina De Fontaine x Familiar GN!Reader

Warnings: Reader's just a bit obsessed with Furina/loves her just a bit too much to be considered healthy. Furina has a breakdown. Reader is implied to be a Kitsune Fox like Yae Miko and has, like, ceremonial tattoos ( although they're barely mentioned ) all over their body! Author has not played through Furina's Story Quest yet!

A/N: Here's the winner of the poll I started like last week! ..I have no idea how to end fics 😭 Sorry if it's awkward or anything. I literally haven't touch this draft since like last year when I posted it as an abandoned wip..

Knocks vibrate throughout the apartment. They start off soft with an intermittent rhythm only to become loud and incessant after a while without acknowledgement. The owner of the apartment—who had been so rudely awoken by the noise—arose from her bed with a sour look on her face. Her heterochromic, ocean-like eyes burning with fire as she scans her room for her slippers.

"Coming, coming! Gosh.." She shouts in a rather grumpy manner when the knocking continued. Understandably so. It was the middle of the night and someone, who clearly has no mind for other peoples' sleep, was banging on her door like some madman. Anyone in her shoes would've been furious.

Honestly, do people have no respect these days? To just disrupt someone's sleep without a care in the world.. What could possibly be so important?

After finally finding her slippers, Furina practically stomped out of her room, down her stairs, and up to her door. She was planning on giving whoever was on the other side a piece of her mind for waking her up and then go back to bed when she cooled down. As the door swings open and Furina is met with the perpetrator, however, all her anger is washed away like a seashell against a water current.

There, standing before her with their fluffy ears twitching eagerly atop their head and pastries in hand, was the Hydro Archon's—Furina's former companion—you.

"You finally answered, my lady!" You chirped, "I'm so glad! Hehe..~! For a second there I thought I had the wrong address!"

She was at a lost for words. Why were you here? And why did you seem so happy? After everything came to light and Fontaine found out she was a sham, she was sure she'd never see you again..

So why in the world are you standing at her doorstep?

"Y/n.." She mumbled out in disbelief, but you seemed rather pleased nonetheless. Your name always sounded so lovely whenever it came from her lips.

"May I come in, my lady?" You ask after a while of her staring at you as if she'd seen a ghost, "If not, I don't mind standing here."

"Oh! Uh- No! Come in!" What is she saying? She should be showing you away, not welcoming you in! "Sit wherever you'd like!" She continues anyway, stepping aside.

Obviously pleased, a sharp smile graces your face and you walked in without hesitation, marveling in awe at her home as if it was made of gold or something.

"This place is so cute! You've decorated well, my lady!" You praise and she has to resist visibly cringing in response to your praise. In all honesty, her place wasn't much to look at. In fact, the place was quite barren since she hadn't gotten around to decorating it yet.

"Thank you.." She forces out, avoiding your piercing gaze as it falls on her. She turns on her heel, showing her back to you as she slowly, hesitantly closes the door.

"So..uhm, what brings you here at this hour?" She finally asks after taking her sweet time locking her door before turning to you—silently gulping when she, once again, locks eyes with your slitted ones. Your eyes were always so intimidating to her even when she was playing house..

Or maybe she's only thinking that to spare the slither of ego she still has.

"I wanted to see you, of course!" You gleefully say. You looked so happy—so excited to see her again and here she stands, surprised, looking almost petrified at the sight of you..

She can barely force a smile onto her faces, but she manages. She almost positive of how crinkled it probably looks, but it'll have to do for now, "I see..so that's your reason.. Well, you've seen me now so you can go and—" "I stopped by Café Lutece earlier today."

"I ran my errands super early so that I had the time to get your favorite cake," A small sigh leaves your lips as you continue, "Unfortunately, by the time I got there all sixteen slices had already been sold out.. I should've expected that, though. After all, my lady has great taste in dessert so it's no wonder they always sell so fast."

You shake your head—your ears wiggling a tad as a result of your attempt at physically clearing your head, "Anyways I'm sorry I couldn't get your favorite cake, but I bought everything else you see here to make up for my blunder so I hope this can earn your forgiveness."

While you spoke, Furina's eyes darted downwards, eyeing the plethora of small boxes in your hand which she's only, somehow, now noticing. She stared at it until it grew so close that she went cross-eyed from the proximity and you dumped the heap of sweets into her arms.

She staggered for a moment as the newfound weight immediately swayed and she reach with one hand to catch the boxes that threatened to slip through her grasp and splatter all over the floor. It was only after she managed to steady herself that her eyes widened at the realization of the mere size of the pile.

This variety of sweets isn't at all small. There were so many that even she would take at least a few days to get through.. Just how much time and money did it take you to get all of this for her? Furina's heart sinks at the mere thought of you spending even a dime on her..

"H- Hey, how much was all of this exactly?" The question hesitantly—almost fearfully—escapes her. Your ears perk up and your rambling comes to an abrupt stop. Nevertheless, your face easily gives away how you feel towards the question; genuine confusion.

"Why the sudden ask, my lady? Whenever I used to buy you sweets before, you'd never care to ask about the prices.."

"Well, you of all people know that I'm not..y'know.." She couldn't even get the words out. To put it simply, the mere thought of the incident made her shudder from the shame of it all. In fact, everything was so embarrassing to think about that it makes her want to lock herself in this home for five hundred years. Not that she could live that long anymore, thank the archons above..

"Ah, I see.." You say, and for a second, sheepish relief washes over Furina like a nice, but cold morning shower as she thought you had connected the dots to what she couldn't bring herself to voice out loud.

She sighs, that awkward smile returning albeit a little smoother now, "Thank you for your—" "You can't possibly enjoy your sweets without your usual bubble bath and milk tea!"

Her smile crinkles again.

"I- No.. That's not—" "I apologize for my forgetfulness, my lady," Your ears press flat against your head like a sad little kitten.

"It seems our time apart has taken a toll on me.. I'll get to it right away to make up for my slip up," And you speed past her and up the stairs as if this was your home and you had walked the halls of it a bajillion times over. Furina could only reach her hand out to you as if wanting to grab you but couldn't, 'lest she wanted a heaping, sticky mess on her floors. She failed to call after you as well which ultimately left her standing there with her mouth agape longer than it should've been.

What..just happened? More importantly, why did she just let it happen? Yes, she has fallen from godhood, but has she lost her nerve as well? She could've ended this as quickly as it started by simply telling you to leave so why didn't she do just that?

All she had to do was tell you to leave and she could've truly put everything behind her. So why was she unable to do just that?

"My lady! Your bath is ready!" She hears your cheery yell from the top of the stairs. As if put under some spell, her previous thought is crushed into dust and blown away from her mind and out of her ears, replaced by a much simpler task; to take a nice, soothing bath that you had oh so graciously prepared for her.

Her feet move as if under a trance, her slippers treading across the wooden flooring and leaving small plaps and squeaks in their wake as she goes about setting the mountain of sweets on her lackluster dining table and going up the stairs where she's met with your toothy grin—that wonderful smile that has been bestowed upon her for centuries—that tells so many of the stories you have shared together in earnest.

How could one possibly turn it away? At the very least, she certainly couldn't, even when she was playing god.

"Thank you, Y/n. I'll be out in a little while," Her mouth moves before her brain can even think to say something differently. Your smile remains, widens even, and she finds her body slouching—relaxing—at the sight.

"Very well. I'll be setting things up downstairs for when you return. Please call me if anything is not to your liking, my lady," And with that, you bow your head to her and make your swift exit.

Furina sighs. It happened again. Why? Has she seriously been put under some kind of incantation caused by a simple quirk of your lips? She finds herself scowering her mind for the answer to that question as she sheds herself of her night garments and nears the tub—which had been filled to the brim with bubbles that shouldn't have been possible as she hadn't went and bought anything for her baths, or for anything else, in fact.

She steps into the water and immediately drops herself in, allowing herself to be enveloped by the pleasant smells as the bubbles cling to her skin.

The water was just the right temperature. Not scorching, but not lukewarm either; just how she liked it. A delighted exhale flutters from her lips on instinct as her head falls against the rim of the tub.

What is she doing? Everything has changed, so why is she indulging in pleasures of the past, why is she letting you service her, and most importantly, why are you so eager to please her still? Was it beacuse, archons forbid, you were trying to pretend nothing happened at all as a way to still cling onto your previous life as a servant to an all-powering god? No matter the reason, she needs you to come from behind those curtain of lies you tell yourself and face reality.

She needs to get you to wake up and smell the roses, otherwise neither you or her will be able to truly move on from your former lives..

Before she knew it, her mind had completely swallowed her and time had passed with her mindlessly soaking in the tub. By the time she realized it, the water had cooled to that lukewarm temperture she had such a strong distaste for, and all the bubbles had just about dispersed.

This was all proof of how much time had passed, but even with all of that, all she managed to accomplish was nearly fall asleep. And, when she was finally brought to the realization of that fact, she sat up and pulled herself out of the tub against her better judgement.

In the time it took her to dress herself in her new sleepwear—which was not much different from her previous garments—she had once again worked up the courage to try again. Deciding that when she goes downstairs, she'll set it to you straight, no hard feelings!

With that sudden confidence rising in her like a tidlewave and ultimately exuding from her being, she waltzed down the stairs. She swishes as she walks and passes through her living room, her mouth already open to say the first thing on her mind as she enters the kitchen..

..Only for that confidence to shatter like a glass mirror when her eyes lands on the spread of pastries you brought her splayed out in a neat assortment across her dining room table with you standing before it with that god-gifted smile of yours.

"My lady, you've returned!" You cross the small distance between you two quickly, your tattooed hands cupping around her bare ones. Trapping her in place and blocking her view from anything else other than the gorgeous swirl of your hues.

"It took some time, but I managed to set the table with all the desserts! I set it from the sweetest pastries to the more tone down ones just how you taught me!" As you spoke, you guided her to the table and set her down at the head, the only place you deemed worthy of her, "I also made your milk tea with extra honey and topped it with a swirl of vanilla cream just how I remembered it!"

Furina, now sat, was staring in a daze. Her face looked rather shocked, or I guess horrified and overwhelmed would be a more accurate description. It was an odd display. One that didn't escape your feline eyes.

"My lady.." You called and she jumps. Yes, she jumps at the mere call of your courteous title to her.

So you call her again, "My lady," You repeat. She doesn't jump this time and it has you believing that her startling reaction before was unrelated or simply your eyes playing tricks on you. It had to be, right? Surely it wasn't for a reason as ridiculous as she feared or was upset with you or something, right? Right.

"Do you not like the spread I prepared?" You asked softly, as if the mere thought had saddened you to a near breakdown, "Is this not satisfactory..?"

"No!" She yelped out like an automatic response. As if you were the former god and she was the servant. As if she was programmed to have some kind of auto pilot that will say anything to make a smile return to your marked face, "No, no! Heh.. E- Everything's fine! I mean-! Uh..i-it's excellent! Thank you!"

Your smile doesn't return and her anxiety turns into full-blown panic. Her mind kicks into overdrive as she thought, "Say something! Say something!" over and over and over again.

She has to say something to appease you. To put you at ease. You deserve that much after the embarrassment that was caused by her downfall. You deserve to be at peace after fighting tooth and nail to defend her in that trial. You deserve to smile after so long of appeasing and bending to this false god's every ridiculous whim!

"My lady," Her breathing stutters. She blinks, awestruck at the sudden lapse from reality, and it's only after that shock leaves her veins that she finally realizes how damp her cheeks had suddenly became and how blurry her vision had gotten.

She had started crying..right before you of all people. By the time that fact finally dawned on her, you had already pushed her chair back to make room for yourself at her feet and were wiping them away with a cloth..

"I- Y/n, I'm so.. I'm sorry.. I- I can't—" Pathetic. It truly was such a pathetic character she was protraying right now. Surely anyone in Fontaine- No, in all of Teyvat would agree if they saw her right now..

But you weren't anyone. At the face of her crystalline tears cascading down her face, you gently patted the cloth in your hand across her cheek and used your other hand to wipe the other side, fingers bent as you made the necessary precautions as to not nick her beautiful skin with your pointy nails.

"It's okay, my lady. Please don't apologize," You cooed, "And please, don't shed tears over me. I don't deserve such the honor."

You're right. You don't deserve her tears. You deserve so, so much more. You deserve to be covered in riches. To be spoiled and praised from Mondstadt to Snezhnaya. Not anything she has put you through..

"..After everything was over, I spent days in turmoil and anger. I lashed out at Monsieur Neuvilette, the Traveler, everyone and anyone who I thought was to blame for stripping you of your title and making you cry like this," You admitted, "Despite that, everyone still respected me and gave me the time to come to grips with reality..with you and your centuries-long lie."

She chokes, her hand coming up to cover her mouth only to immediately hide her entire face behind her hands; a futile attempt to hide herself from you.

She told a lie to the nation. She was aware of it and had come to live with that for so long. So why is it that she seemed to break down at you simply restating the obvious? Why is it that she couldn't bare the thought of you viewing her any differently than before when she was just fine with everyone else doing so?

..And why is it that you even wasted your time coming here and serving her like old times if you did view her in a different light like everyone else? Was this a way to mock her of her past performance? Was it because you were trying to get back at her for lying to your face and use you as some stage prop?

Apparently—surprisingly—it was none of that.

"In that time I spent locked away from the world and resenting it with all my being, my thoughts ran back to you in search of comfort. My mind took me back to the night you took me in and gave me the prestigious title as your familiar.. The day you gave me a purpose other than to hate the world so much that my flames of hatred would one day brun everything in Teyvat to ash.. I remember every feeling that coursed through my veins that night and it made me realize—"

"Stop!" She mustered up the strength to scream, "Stop.." She repeated, that strength having promptly left her and leaving her with nothing but mere crumbs of intensity to speak with, "Please..don't say anymore.. I don't want to hear it.."

"Why not, my lady?" You questioned as you used your strength to pry her hands away from her face as you waited for a response, which she gave eventually with her previous ferocity returning. ..Unfortunately, her weeps had made her fiery words come out damp, jumbled, and shaky..

"It's because I don't deserve it! I- I- I don't deserve your loyalty-! I don't deserve you or anything you give me! Not after.. N- Not after.. Not after all that I did! I— I.." Like blowing steam from a train, she quickly ran out of gas and was left puffing, sputtering, and whimpering like some novice actress who had forgotten her lines during the most emotional part of a play.

..But despite that, you still sat and watched her nonetheless. You listened and took in her every hiccup and blubber like some diehard fan. And, when her sorry performance came to an end, you even blessed her with the gift of your warm embrace.

You stayed like that, letting her sniffle and sob into your shoulder until her tears dried up and her throat was too raw to snivel out nonesense. It was a courtesy she didn't deserve yet you granted her regardless..

"After I had come to peace with eerything that had happened, I went to Palais Mermonia and talked to Monsieur Neuvilette where we both agreed that I should step down from my position as the Hydro Archon's Familiar and assistant of the ludex," You confessed, and you can tell by her sudden stiffness and that ghost of a gasp she let out that she was surprised. You found it such a cute reaction.

You knew that she wanted to question you, ridicule you—something that would make you realize how dumb that decision was, but after bleeding on stage, her throat was so sore that even the simplest of words felt like knives. You'll admit that you're partially thankful of that, especially since that meant you would be spared of any distateful words for a little while, especially after the words you said next..

"I love you, my lady," You told her, "I love you more than anything in this world and in a way a familiar shouldn't dare to feel about their master; that's what I realized during my break from the world. During the time I spent away from you.."

"I realized that not having you in my life would be more painful than any death sentence or punishment, and because of that, I grew selfish and I acted on my own..so.." You pull away and the remnants of her tears chase after you—an action she has to resist letting her entire body mimic. She watches you, her mismatch eyes widening like a desert platter when you bend your head until it makes contact with your crossed arms on her lap; a sight that would remind one of a devout follower pleading with their god.

"..Will you forgive my selfishness, allow me to indulge in this feeling, and pursue my desires?" You asked her in such a sweet tone that her heart—that had been clouded and choked by unease and trepidation—was coated in this sugary, tooth-rotting wisp that sent her heart into this feeling of sickening bliss..

And as a silent thank you for relieving her chest of the heavy feeling, she decided to put on her cracked mask and step back onto the ruined stage for just a moment and ask you in a quivering tone, "And what are those desires exactly?"

"To be by your side again," You replied immediately, "I showed you that I can still serve a be useful to you and it doesn't matter what I'd be to you either! Just allow me to bask in your presence for the rest of your mortal days, my lady. I'd do anything for that pleasure.."

"You shouldn't," Her voice was cracking so much that a broken mirror had paled in comparison. It hurt so much to speak right now, but she forced herself to talk anyways, just for you, "You're so much greater than me.."

"Not anymore," You retorted, looking up at her, "Now, I'm just a regular civilain of Fontaine just like you. I have no power, no status, nothing.. I gave all of that up without a second thought for you and I'd do it a million times over if you so wished."

She chuckled. Yes, chuckled at your words. There was no humor to be found, though, as she was she couldn't believe how ironic and absurd this all was; a formerly reserved kitsune who once bore a heart of stone and was incapable of understanding, feeling, or sympathize with the feelings and well being of those around them, who despised the world for merely existing in their presence..was now begging to be by her so that they could essentially experience internal bliss everyday for the next century if they're lucky.

She chuckled again at herself, this time out of disbelief of herself and how hot her face was getting because of that irony.

She truly was a horrible person. A liar. A fraud..and yet, you kneeled at her knees and begged her to allow you to spend the rest of your life—which she will no longer be able to live to see the end of—with her. It was such an insane ending to this play, one that would surely turn off many of the audience members—but she didn't mind it as much as she thought she would.

"Such a stubborn fox you are," She says as she ever so gently caresses the fluffy ear atop your head, feeling them twitch from sensitivity under her touch, "..But I suppose I'm mostly to blame for your behavior. After all, I taught you everything except how to give up when the situation calls for it.." She sighs.

"I..suppose that I wouldn't mind some company from a fellow civilain of Fontaine.." She croaked rather bashfully and your entire demeanor perked up.

"Thank you, my—!" "Before anything's set in stone though," She withdraws her hand to hold it up, further telling you to halt your celebration. You freeze as prompted and after seeing you do so, Furina finally continues..

"I have one last request—er, command to make to you," She says and you slowly nod along to her every word like a puppy patiently waiting for their next instruction.

Whatever she asked, you already told yourself you'd do, without question. If she wanted one hundred boxes of pastries by the time she woke up tommorow, you'd jump to it. If she asked you to stand on the top of the Opera Epiclese and profess to the world how much you loved and cherished her, you'd gladly adhere! Anything for her!

"You can't refer to me by 'my lady' from this point on."

..Huh? You blinked. She wanted you to..do that? Of all the things to ask for..and she wishes to discard the title she has earned and that you've been referring to her as for literal centuries?

"B- But, my- Lady Furina—" "Ah, ah, ah.." She cut off, albeit as softly as a flower petal falling onto someone's hair, "No honorifics or titles. You may only call me by name."

It was a simple request in hindsight, but would you be able to abide by it? To you, it was as if she asked you to defeat the Traveler and Monsieur Neuviellete simultaneously in battle while both of your hands were tied..

But it seems your fair lady had no sympathy about doing this to you, "So? What about it? If you can't do something as simple as that, I can't grant you the wish of remaining at my side," She egged on, and that gave just the right push for you to say, "No! I- I can do that for you, easy!"

"Then? Go on. Say my name," And she stared at you with that expectant gaze that brought you back to the same old times she wanted nothing more than to bury. It surely was a twist to her character.

"F.. My.. Miss F- Furina," You stammered, and odd enough, your face grew hot at hearing her name coated in your tone and voice, "..Would it be too much to ask to stay by your side?" By that point, you couldn't continue staring in her eyes and found comfort in burying your face in her thighs.

"Hmph.. I suppose that's good enough. We can always work on it," She said, "And I suppose that it wouldn't be too much trouble of a request.."

It took a moment, but your joy overcame your embarrassment and you lifted your head once again, flashing her the widest, toothiest smile she's ever seen on your face. If anyone else were to behold this sight, they'd truly dedicate hours of their busy day to paint it..or at least simply marvel at the sight of it. Though, as fatuous as it was, she found herself almost uncomfortable at the thought of you showing this smile to anyone other than her.

"Moving on from all of that.. Tommorow I'll have to seek someone out to rennovate this place," She said and your head tilts, your ears leaning.

"Why?" You asked, and to that, she gave you an equally confused look.

"Well, first off you have nowhere to sleep. Surely you wouldn't be fine with sleeping on my couch for a century.."

"But can't I just share a bed with you?" You questioned, and you watched as Furina's entire face and body became redder than strawberry jam.

"Excuse me?!" She shouted, "W- What do you take me for? Some harlot surely to suggest such a thing!"

You merely laugh, both at her sudden flustered appearance and the nostalgia her yelling brings to you. It's a shame Furina didn't seem feel that same rush.

"What's so funny?!" She asked, her eyes following you sharply as you stood up.

"You are," You answered honestly before turning on your heel, "Now, it is late so we should get to bed! I'll clean everything up tommorow morning when I come down to make breakfast."

"What do you— Hey! Don't just waltz around my house as if it's yours! A- At least shower first before laying on my bed! I just washed those sheets! Hey, are you listening, Y/n?!"

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[cosmerelists]

Top 10 Adolin Friendships I Want to See More Of

[THIS POST CONTAINS WAT SPOILERS!!]

If Adolin has one superpower, it's the Power of Friendship. And in Wind and Truth, we saw this superpower on full display. Here are the friendships I really want to see more of in the back half of Stormlight!

#10: Adolin & Gavinor

Now, we haven't really seen Adolin and Gavinor interact so far, I know, but hear me out. Gavinor is now a twenty-something, PTSD-having, manipulated-by-an-evil-god, saw-his-grandfather-die-in-front-of-him messed-up guy. And Kaladin is gone, so the newly minted Kaladin therapy isn't available for poor Gavinor. But there is one other man who knows how to temporarily push back the darkness in his friends' minds through the power of friendship--and that's Adolin. I would like to see Adolin just being Gavinor's friend, hopefully making his life just a little bit better.

#9: Adolin & Hmask

Hmask is a new character in Wind & Truth--a Thaylen man who is devoutly loyal to Adolin due to Adolin having saved his son from that Thunderclast. Hmask seems incredibly cool--when Adolin makes his dash through the center of the enemy encampment in the dome, Hmask is the only one who is able to stay with him. When Adolin falls during a fight with Abidi, Hmask puts himself in between them. I mean.... Due to language barrier, we don't see them actually conversing all that much, but I hope to see more of that in the future!

#8: Adolin & Zabra

Zabra is a new character in Wind & Truth, a small girl who tries to dress as a boy to join the army, but is helped by Adolin to find other ways of fighting beyond, like, being in a pike block. And now she's a member of the Unoathed! We didn't see as much of this particular friendship in Wind and Truth, but I liked Zabra and I look forward to seeing more of their interactions.

#7: Adolin & May

Speaking of members of the Unoathed...May Aladar was sure a surprise favorite for me! I liked that she and Adolin did not have the best relationship to start--given that he kinda sorta dated her, I guess--but that over the course of the book even she could not resist the Power of Adolin Friendship.

#6: Adolin & Syl

It was just a brief moment in Wind and Truth, but I loved how Adolin was so delighted by Syl's new fashion choices, and their brief but earnest conversation about it. Hell yeah! I want to see more of Adolin and Syl bonding over clothing and fashion history and helping Kaladin. I haven't forgotten that when Syl needed someone to help Kaladin without being intimidated, she went straight for Adolin. A-And, I know that Syl is also not around anymore, but in the event that she and Kaladin come back, I'd really like to see more of her and Adolin being friends.

#5: Adolin & Nightblood

I was so charmed by: "We chat about swords. He likes swords." When did Adolin & Nightblood chat??? Was it during meetings while Szeth was skulking in a corner?? Do Adolin & Nightblood just have a silent, telepathic conversation whenever they're in the same room together?? I don't know, but I desperately need more of it. Leave it to Adolin to befriend the soul-eating-possibly-evil-magical-sword because, well, it's a sword. Swords are cool.

#4: Adolin & Rlain

I don't honestly recall if Adolin & Rlain have really interacted yet? But given that Rlain is now dating Adolin's brother, I really do want to see Adolin & Rlain become closer. Both Adolin & Rlain are good at understanding other people's perspectives, at bridging difficult social gaps. Together they shall be an Unstoppable Force of Friendship!

#3: Adolin & Yanagawn

I really loved the development of Adolin & Yanagawn's friendship in Wind & Truth. Adolin recognized that this isolated kid needed a friend, and he provided it, despite, you know, everything else going on during Adolin's chapters in Wind & Truth. Leave it to Adolin to see through the layers of pomp & circumstance & bureaucracy and recognize that this guy needed to learn how to play Towers. Especially since Adolin appears to be staying (?) in Azir for now, I'm looking forward to seeing more of this in books to come.

#2:Adolin & Notum

Notum ranks high on this list in part because I think I'm just interested in Notum: a spren who wants to fight in the human realm but does not want to swear oaths with a Radiant. And in being that way, he is such a fascinating parallel with Adolin himself, who also refuses to swear oaths with a spren despite forming incredibly close relationships of trust with so many of them. I definitely want to see more of these two!

#1: Adolin & Maya

But the #1 friendship I want to see more of has got to be Adolin & Maya. Those two were AWESOME in Wind & Truth, from their close bond of trust, to Maya calling Adolin a slut. I love how Maya is developing into what I read as a sarcastic butch, and that is exactly the BFF I want Adolin to have. Super excited to see more of them in, uh, a few years? Whenever we get the next Stormlight book?

I can maintain my excitement until then.

[anikaluv]

THIS IS REAL —

❤︎︎ pairing: Miles (e!42) × fem!reader

❤︎︎ genre: fluff (slight angst?)

❤︎︎ cw: reader gets stood up :( , Miles (e!42) is named Myles (creative Ik), suggestive content, cussing

❤︎︎ summary: It’s been a few months since you and Myles have been “practicing”, and you finally got the courage to ask Miles out. Unfortunately, you get stood up on y’alls first date and Miles (e!42) happens to come in time to sweep you off your feet.

❤︎︎ w/c: 2.1K

❤︎︎ a/n: Tysm for all the support on my last post babes <3 . Decided I’ll post a part two cause y’all make me feel a lil motivated.

PART ONE EXTRA

You lean back against Myles desk as he pinned you down, making out with you mercilessly. His hands once on your waist now fully rummaging your body looking for anything he can get his hands on. You mumble random pleads, the more his lips interact with yours the farther you tip off the edge.

Myles smirks confidently, fully aware of the effect he has on you, and he revels in the satisfaction it brings him. "You've wanted this all along, haven't you, princesa?" he taunts, knowing deep down that you desired him. Over the past few months, during your visits to the Morales' house for your supposed "study sessions" with Miles, you came in clothes more revealing than the last.

He loved it.

In truth, you have no idea why you had been secretly finding your way to Myles' room over the past few months, and honestly, you still had no idea what you two were. Each time, you reminded yourself that these encounters weren't truly bringing you closer to Miles but rather betraying him.

However, you managed to summon the courage to ask Miles out recently, and to your surprise, he accepted. So you decided to fully give in to your desires, which lead you to this very moment.

You gently pulled away, ending the intense kiss. Myles licked his lips, shamelessly admiring your curves while you struggled to catch your breath. Releasing your arms from around his neck, you placed them on his toned chest.

Bashfully, you gazed up into Myles' eyes and summoned the courage to address the question that had been weighing on your mind for months. "Myles, this is still just practice, right?" you asked, attempting to speak out the uncertainty that had plagued you.

Myles chuckled at your question, but his amusement quickly faded as he recognized your seriousness. "Of course, mami." he replied, his tone shifting to one of sincerity.

You nodded, finding comfort in his reassurance, and tilted your head back as Myles began planting tender kisses along your neck. His hands glided down to your ass, squeezing it firmly, while he trailed a path of kisses down your collarbone.

Each peck he lays on your skin came with little compliments that makes you melt in his hold. “You taste so good, mami….such a good girl f’me” he whispered, and your heart swelled with warmth at his praise. You babbled a thank you, the words sounding like a melody to his ears.

Unfortunately for the both of you, a ringing sound rang around the room, snapping you back to reality. Your neck naturally turned towards your phone, giving Myles more access to your skin.

He bit into it fiercely, trying to catch you off guard. That for sure left a mark. You gasp loudly, Myles took that as consent to continue. "Come on, chiquita, just ignore it," he urged, attempting to persuade you to brush off the interruption. You tried to, yet you couldn’t ignore the loud ringing that echoed through the room.

You reach for your phone, dismissing the sound of Miles groaning in defeat. Your eyes bulged at the alert on the screen. “Reminder: Date Night with Miles at 9:30” . Instantly, you sprung up from Myles' desk and swiftly gathered your purse and belongings.

Myles watched you, curious. "Woah, where are you going in such a hurry, ma?" You finished collecting your things and made a beeline for the door. "I have to go home and get ready before I'm late for my date with Miles!" Turning around one last time, you planted a swift peck on Myles' cheek.

"Thank you, Myles, for everything," you said quickly, and just like that, you were gone. Myles stood there, his hand subconsciously caressing the spot where your peck had left its mark, grinning softly.

“Anything for you, mami.”

You sat at a circled booth looking around at your surroundings. Miles told you he would pick out the place so you had no idea what to expect.

The restaurant was amazing. It wasn’t extremely fancy, it carried a homey vibe, but still had elegance. Soothing Soul music echoed throughout the restaurant as scents of delicious foods wafted through your nose.

It was perfect.

You squirmed in the booth, feeling a mix of nervousness and anticipation. You had chosen to wear a short skintight black dress. It hung tightly to all of your curves in the right way. It was a little see-through, but the restaurant was partly dim, so you hoped it wouldn’t be too much.

Your hand instinctively moved towards your neck, gently caressing the hickey mark that Myles had left behind. Even spending nearly 30 minutes meticulously applying makeup to conceal it, you couldn't help but feel frustrated.

An annoyed grunt escaped your lips as you envisioned Myles smirking, fully aware of the predicament he had caused.

You slapped your forehead in frustration, this was your exact problem. You’ve tried to get your head off Myles for the past 2 hours. But no matter what, he would always stick in the back of your mind, like a leech, a hot attractive leech.

You rolled your eyes and let out a sigh of exasperation. If Miles didn't show up soon, you feared where this train of thought might lead you.

Your gaze swiftly shifted towards the entrance, and lo and behold, there he was—the face that had captivated your admiration for quite some time.

Despite the dimly lit ambiance of the restaurant, you recognized him instantly, his iconic smirk played on his lips as he exchanged pleasantries with the usher, pointing in the direction of your booth. His untied Jordan's adorned his feet with effortless style as he strode towards you, a sleek black suit hugging his lean frame.

Your heart raced in anticipation, unable to resist the overwhelming feeling of swooning in his presence.

As he approached, you reached into your clutch to retrieve your phone, determined to put it on silent. There was no way you would allow any distractions from this man.

Just as you grabbed your phone, the screen suddenly lit up, revealing the notification: "4 unread messages." The sender's identity puzzled you for a moment.

Miles <3

Hey, something came up.

I’m so sorry.

Would you wanna reschedule?

I’ll make this up to you, I promise.

You’ve never been more confused your whole life, everything was frozen in place, the pieces just weren’t coming together. If Miles wasn’t coming to y’all’s date, then who on earth-

“Hola, mami.”

Fuck.

Myles smoothly slid into the booth beside you, casually looking through the menu. "What are you thinking of getting, ma?" he asked, his tone nonchalant. "I’ve never been to a place like this so imma let you choose.”

“Myles. What the actual hell are you doing here?”, you stutter out, your voice filled with confusion.

Questions raced through your mind. How did he even know your date was gonna be here? Why was he here? Was this some sort of sick joke?

“Woah, chill out.” Myles jokingly rose his hands up in defense. “Let’s focus on you, hermosa.”

He inched closer to you, his gaze leisurely roaming over your features. “Te ves absolutamente hipnotizante… (You look absolutely mesmerizing),” he murmured.

The way he looked at you so intensely, you felt like you were naked.

Despite the way your breathe became caught, you decided to shove those emotions deep down and face the problem at hand. “Don’t try to change the subject Morales. This was supposed to be a special night, my special night and I don’t need you ruining it.”

Myles let out a playful scoff, clearly not taking your words seriously. "Oh, come on, ma, you don't actually mean that," he teased.

He casually draped his arm around your shoulder, his other hand delicately caressing your thigh as he toyed with the edge of your dress. "Forget about him. He's not showing up anyway. Besides, you have me," he mumbled the last part, but it was enough to provoke frustration within you.

You swat his hand away forcefully, displaying your aggression. "I can't simply forget about him, Myles!" you exclaim, your voice filled with desperation. "I've been looking forward to this day my entire life, for fucks sake!", you crossed your arms and huffed, denying to believe the situation you’re currently in.

It felt as if smoke were coming from your ears, and though you tried to maintain a composed tone, the venom in your words could not be contained, striking into Myles heart like knives.

Myles clenched his fists tightly, irritation seeping through his features . "So, what? Am I not good enough for you now?" he spat, his eyebrows furrowing in anger as he locked eyes with you. "All those times you snuck into my room, it was all just a game to you, huh?"

He gently rested his hand on top of yours, and when you didn't pull away, he intertwined his fingers with yours.“He don't deserve you and you know it. Leaving such a pretty girl like this, and you still want him? You a fool, ma,” he admitted. His other hand reached up, gently gripping your chin, tilting your face towards his. “I can treat you so much better than him.”

You responded with silence, overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions flooding your mind. "So, what exactly are you saying?" you mustered, your voice filled with a desperate need for confirmation. You craved concrete words, an explicit declaration that this wasn't some sort of joke, prank, or-

Myles gently cupped your cheek, pulling you closer until his lips met yours in a light kiss. It was different, it was gentle. Unlike the heated sessions you had in his room, right now he treated you so delicately. His hand found home around your waist, and you let him hold you, accepting anything he would give you.

"I want you so bad, mami," he confessed, his eyes captivating your attention with every word. "I adore every aspect of you. Todo, princesa—I want all of you," he expressed, his words filled with passion and longing.

A smile broke across your face, a realization dawning upon you. Who knew you’ve been after the wrong Morales brother this whole time. "I feel the same way, Myles," you confessed, giggling as he released a sigh of relief you didn’t know he was holding.

You playfully pecked his cheek, causing his signature smirk to return to his face. He leaned his head against your neck, finding solace in your embrace.

You wrapped your hands around his neck, reciprocating the hug wholeheartedly. However, a lingering question continued to nag at your mind. "So, does this mean we're officially together?" you asked, a touch of worry laced in your voice.

Thankfully, Myles sensed your unease and began whispering into your ear, his words comforting as he gently traced soothing circles on your waist.

“Don’t worry princesa I promise you, this is real.”, and you immediately felt content, because at the end of the day you wanted him, needed him, and you knew he would happily give you everything you desired”

.

.

.

“Also, I see that you tried to hide that hickey I left on yo neck, if you want, I can give you another one somewhere el-“

“Miles Gonzalo Morales.”

“Love you too, mami.”

EXTRA: "Goddammit, I'm not gonna be able to make it," Miles muttered, frustration evident in his voice as he listened to the news of a villain initiating a bank heist. He sighed, reaching for his phone to send you the disappointing message.

Meanwhile, Myles paused his game and removed his headset, intrigued by his brother's conversation. "Won't make it to what?" he inquired, his curiosity piqued. Miles exhaled heavily as he began preparing himself, putting on his spider suit.

"Me and [your name]’s date. We were supposed to have it at [restaurant name] tonight, and I even bought this special suit for the occasion," he explained.

Myles feigned disappointment, masking his true intentions as his brother prepared to make a daring exit through the window. "Ah, what a bummer," Myles responded, concealing his excitement.

As soon as Miles left the room, Myles sprang into action, rushing straight to his brother's closet. If he wanted this to work, he would have to be quick.

ENDING A/N: AHHH THIS IS MY BABY. This girly took a whole week and I hope y’all like her. I wanted to continue the playfulness of the practice kissing idea but also dig deeper on the uncertainty of what you and Myles were and I think I did it well! Thanks for everyone who waited and supported Just for Practice, you are the ones who motivated me to write This is Real. Stay tuned for my next post loves <3

TAGLIST: @moodysunflowerbaby @bbybubbles @nightshxdex @sparkysparking101 @go-to-sleep-salem @hellokittygator @yumimak @stevenknightmarc @spidrstar @sukisprettyface @loaks-tanhi @homebyeleven @urmotherswhor3 @hxidyq @axeoverblade @kaaylvst @em711 @agstuffsworld @st4rmiles @imonmyvigilanteshh @1uv4jiya @l5byrinth @planetspiderzz @janaeby @6thhokageswife

TAGS:

[chahnniesroom]

for better, for worse

pairing: lee minho x female reader

summary: an arranged marriage is anything but ideal. minho knows that when it comes to his role as a husband, he's lacking, but you haven't exactly been the perfect wife either. a phone call from you leads to a shift in priorities.

word count: 1.5k

warnings: angst, mention of a car accident, mentioned death of a minor character

a/n: originally this was going to be part of a longer fic, but i will never write that longer fic, so i decided to post it! the name of this fic is what inspired me to create the till death do us part collection. i hope you enjoy!

part 2 | till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

Minho had never really thought that he’d be married before the age of 30. Sure, he knew that his parents would likely expect it of him, but he prioritised work far too much to have a meaningful relationship with anyone. So it’s not exactly a surprise that when his parents announce that they’ve arranged a marriage with you, Minho doesn’t suddenly become an attentive and doting partner. In fact, even a year later, he still hasn’t gotten very close to you.

Minho knows that when it comes to his role as a husband, he’s lacking, but you haven’t exactly been the perfect wife either. Behind closed doors, you seem openly resentful of this whole situation and do your best to avoid Minho altogether. 

Honestly, Minho doesn’t blame you. If he thinks about it, which he tries not to, you have it even worse off than him. You’re younger by a couple years and had been in the process of rising through the ranks of your family’s company when you’d been forced into becoming a dutiful housewife instead of an executive. 

You had tried at first, texting him good morning, staying up late to wait for him to get home from work, and making sure the staff always had fresh and healthy meals prepared. Minho feels guilty thinking of how often he had brushed you off, but he had just been promoted and a lot of the executives, your father included, were just waiting to see him make a mistake. The overwhelming pressure had led him to spend more nights than not at the office and when he did go home, his thoughts still revolved on the work he had left to do.

You haven’t done anything drastic to express your dissatisfaction yet, but it feels like it’s only a matter of time.

Tonight would be the perfect way to do so. The two of you are expected to be present for an event, one that Minho has been invited to speak at. His assistant, Jiyu, tells him that it’s the opportunity of a lifetime and stresses how important it is for everything to go according to plan.

Minho heads to the event straight from the office and isn’t surprised that you’re not there before him. Even 30 minutes after the event has officially started, he still doesn’t mind since it’s just been mingling so far, something that he knows you detest. It’s when they sit everybody down to start serving the meal that he starts getting impatient, his temper starting to make itself known.

You know that this night is important for Minho and he’s told you multiple times that he expects you to be there. He knew that you had been picked up on time since he’d even sent his personal driver, Jeonghoon, to get you and Jeonghoon had sent assurances that the two of you were on your way.

You're frustratingly convincing though, Minho has never been able to say no to you and he knows that you've charmed all the household staff as well.

He'd texted Jeonghoon once to check where you were, but hadn't gotten a reply and he just hopes that it's because traffic is bad and not because you're plotting something.

When Jiyu pesters Minho about the lack of your presence, he gives in and calls your cell phone. It rings for a while, and Minho is about to hang up when you finally answer.

“Minho!” you say, sounding delighted. Minho is instantly suspicious. “You’re calling me.”

“Where are you?” he demands coldly. “It’s late.”

“I-I tried to call,” you continue to babble. “This time, I was good, really. I remem-remembered to call Jiyu-ssi instead of your phone. She said you were busy and not to bother you. But they needed someone to come help and I couldn’t think of anyone else.”

“Y/n, are you- are you drunk?” he asks in disbelief. If he sounded cold before, his voice is absolutely frigid now. Someone happens to walk by and they look frightened by whatever expression is on his face based on the way that they scurry past while trying to avoid eye contact.

“No!” you deny vehemently, even though there’s still something odd about the tone of your voice. “I didn’t drink anything! They didn’t let me. They won’t let me do anything. They just gave me this thing and-”

“Where are you.”

“I’m at the hospital,” you say plainly.

“What?” Minho stands up from the table, uncaring of the way that everyone swivels to look at him. He had stayed quiet enough before to prevent eavesdropping, but forgets to keep his voice down reacting to your matter-of-fact response. “What happened?”

“We were driving to the hotel,” you say in a small voice. “I didn’t want to be late. I- I don’t know what happened. There was another car- they were in a rush too.” You stop to hiccup.

“Y/n-” Minho is at the entrance to the ballroom and doesn’t even wait for the staff to heave the doors open, opting to push through them himself. He knows he's making a scene, but he couldn’t care less about anybody else in the room at the moment. 

“He’s gone,” you interrupt, sounding hollow. “Jeonghoon. They couldn’t even get him out of the car. I saw it. Him. What was left. There was so much blood.”

It feels like Minho’s stomach drops right to the floor.

“Y/n-”

He can barely hear your reply, instead the rush of his pulse in his ears drowns out any other sound. He's suddenly aware of how shaky his breathing has gotten, shallow gasps that barely provide any oxygen to his lungs.

“It doesn’t feel real,” you say, subdued. “They keep saying that I was really lucky, but it doesn’t feel like it.”

“Are you hurt?” Minho’s almost afraid to ask.

“Oh,” you sound surprised. “Me? I- Don’t worry about me.”

“Don’t worry? Never mind, just tell me what hospital you’re at. I’m on my way.” Minho has forgotten that you're particularly skilled at deflecting questions, even ones that are direct.

“What? No! You can’t leave, you have your speech-”

“Y/n,” Minho says gently. You're starting to sound panicked and since he still doesn't know what your condition is, he doesn't want you to be any more stressed than you already are. “It’s okay, I’ve already excused myself.”

“I know tonight was really important to you,” you say miserably. “I ruined it. I’m sorry. Oh I- Someone’s here, I have to go now. Don't come, please. I’m fine, really. Stay at the event.”

The call ends abruptly and Minho is left staring at his phone.

“Minho-ssi,” Jiyu hisses from beside him. Her heels clack as she tries to keep up with him. Minho's already halfway across the lobby, but he can still see into the ballroom where a number of people are still staring after him. They must think he’s gone crazy. There’s a smile on Jiyu's face, but the tone of her voice is anything but friendly. “What are you doing? They're not finished serving dinner and you have to be on stage soon.”

Minho doesn’t even bother to answer, starting to dial for a car to come pick him up before he realises, dismayed, that he’s pulled up Jeonghoon’s number. He shakes his head for a moment before calling someone else.

Jiyu grabs at his elbow, pulling him to a stop. Even through the layers of his clothes, her nails are sharp pin pricks that dig into the flesh of his arm.

“Minho-ssi, you can’t just leave!”

Minho wrenches himself from her grasp and turns to scowl at her. She stumbles back at the force of his glare for a moment before reaching out again.

“Y/n’s in the hospital,” he explains. That should be enough explanation, but it still doesn’t seem to affect her. "I have to go."

“Tonight is critical if you want to win over enough people for the contract that you’re negotiating. Don’t waste any time worrying about her. If she's at the hospital, there’s nothing that you can do to help Y/n, she’s already being taken care of,” Jiyu says coolly. “Some things are more important.” 

Minho stares at her for a long moment.

Jiyu has worked with Minho for a significant portion of his career. Her analytical and no-nonsense way of handling things is part of the reason that he’s been able to make it as far as he has. For the longest time, he had admired her ability to set aside her emotions to make logical, objective decisions.

Now he wonders if she’s just heartless.

Out of the corner of his eye, Minho can see a car pull up to the doors and he makes his own decision.

“Yes," he agrees. Jiyu lets out a sigh of relief and reaches out to tug him back to the ballroom. Minho steps away to avoid her hand. "Some things- some people are more important. I didn't see that before and I won't make that mistake again. Jiyu-ssi, give everybody my apologies that I was not able to stay and then you may go home. Thank you for your service all these years, but I will not be needing you as my assistant any longer."

He doesn't look back.

part 2 | till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

[erotichwa]

triple kill. ᯓ yeonjun x femreader

warnings: slight overstimulation, uses of toys (pink vibrator), yeonjun being a tease (slightly) watersports (squirting), BIG DICK yeonjun + vibrator = heaven

genre: smut

a squirting mess. that's what you are right now, now that Yeonjun bought and is currently using the vibrator.

two weeks ago, Yeonjun coincidentally stumbled across a vibrator for sex when he was online shopping for vibrator that's used for back and muscle pains — not surprised though.

he decided to order one to try it to you and him once you two are in the mood, and he also ordered what he originally wanted to order.

he looks up from his phone once he sees you walking towards him, specifically the couch to sit beside him while reading your book, a smile immediately emerges. "hi, babe. look what I ordered."

curious, you look over to his phone, only to chuckle in disbelief. he ordered two vibrators, just with different 'specific' uses but technically can be used on you and him. "really, a back massager and a pink vibrator?"

"what? at least I can switch." Yeonjun sheepishly smiles, earning a playful slap on the shoulder from you. Yeonjun's already a tease in bed, it'll be much more difficult to cum (but enjoyable) once he uses the vibrator.

a few days later, the package finally arrives. the massager one arrived shortly. but you two (Yeonjun) was getting impatient and immediately pushed you gently on the bed before having a full on makeout session, your clothes already gone as he crawled on top of you to kiss your lips, your jaw and neck, leaving some trails of hickeys on the way to your breasts.

Yeonjun pulls away for a bit once he left love bites on your chest, getting the pink vibrator and lubes it a little so it wouldn't be painful once inserted on you. you were wet enough to be honest, but he decided to have a taste of your pussy before inserting the vibrator slowly and gently, careful to not hurt you.

you hiss a little at the subtle pain, clutching the pillow near you while your other hand snakes down to his hair, gripping it gently. Yeonjun looks at you for permission and once he got the signal, he turns it on to the lowest setting, it's already making you squirm subtly.

you honestly don't know how many levels are there, but when you were a moaning mess already and nearly crying out of pleasure, Yeonjun smirks and inserts one of his slender and long fingers and gives kitty licks on your clit, making your legs shake and your grip on his hair tighten, your hips almost grinding on his tongue as if seeking more.

"look at you squirming. I haven't even fucked you with my cock yet, honey." he cooed, looking at your fucked out face. you could only moan in response, your brain too fuzzy to comprehend anything he's yapping.

after what felt like hours of moaning, whining and whimpering on the pleasurable touches of his finger, his tongue toying with your clit and the vibrator being the main suspect, you were surprised to see Yeonjun suddenly pulling his finger out and before you could ask, he inserts his cock inside you (with the vibrator still inside), a scream of pleasure bubbling on your throat.

you were both a moaning mess. that vibrator, that small vibrator, making you two loud as fuck in your shared bedroom. it felt so good for you and Yeonjun, and you two would probably do it again. you two will handle the noise complains later.

"Yeonjun- fuck me harder!" you managed to cry out, gripping his biceps as you felt your pussy squirt out while he's fucking you animalistically. Yeonjun sees this and smirks proudly, not daring to stop his movements.

"damn, honey. I didn't know you can do that. can you do it again?"

that's how the fucking session ended up with you having 3 orgasms in one and a half hour that night.

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