#honestly not that many. im still so confused.
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sonknuxadow · 2 months ago
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my honest reaction
#once again the trailer just kind of makes me feel nothing but confusion at why theyre doing things the way they are#why is gerald still alive. even if it turns out to be time travel or him being frozen alongside shadow or something#it still takes away a lot of the emotional impact of shadows story ... why .....#the fact that theyre just seemingly having gerald be rouge's replacement in the dark story trio too???? what. thats stupid .#and speaking of rouge. where are rouge and amy. ive never seen a single good argument to justify their exclusion here#why is the only girl character from the games whos present the one who famously dies horribly for male characters' motivation#(to be clear im not saying the way maria's death is handled in the games is bad writing or anything#just that having her be the only girl character to have a movie counterpart is certainly A Choice.)#and. why are team sonic (and human characters associated with them who are supposed to be the good guys) working with gun .#gun literally does nothing but cause problems for sonic in sa2 ?!?!?!??!?!#even if it does turn out theyre not being completely honest with sonic about what shadow's whole deal is thats still. why ...#i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but that doenst mean i have to be okay with every possible change they make either#especially when a lot of this stuff just actively makes the story worse. sa2 im so sorry they did this to you#honestly probably wouldnt bother me quite as much if this was a comic or tv show or something#and not . a big popular movie that is probably going to overshadow the game in a lot of peoples minds. ughhhh#also shadow has still only had a couple lines so maybe its not fair for me to say anything just yet#but i dont . really like how he sounds from what we've heard .. why did the ycast keanu reeves this sucks#idris elba as knuckles is starting to annoy me too tbh . like i didnt care for it at first but then it grew on me#and now im back to not really liking it . that is NOT knuckles#anyway. im honestly struggling to understand how so many fans of the games are uncritically excited about the movie ?#and dont have any problem with the writing choices being made here.. ?#do they just not care how shadow's story is portrayed as long as he looks cool doing it .. ?#im not saiyng the people who are excited are fake fans i just . dont get it
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gofishygo · 4 months ago
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ur former-butcher-now-sas!simon and baker!reader made me smile so much it hurts i hope nothing bad happens to them…… 🥲
me too tbh .., the current thing i have planned for them is mostly hurt/comfort ab how simon n reader have changed and their unspoken feelings , so neither of them will die (hopefully), dw !! and for the most part, i originally intended it to be a standalone, so the ending is still quite open. but i can guarantee that a continuation will most likely just be wholesome stuff 饿啊啊啊
(keep in mind if there is to be a series released, it will take a few months ! although i am happy to do it, i do not have very many ideas yet, and am drowning in work, so please be patient. sorry) post i was referencing
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bmpmp3 · 9 months ago
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dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!
#raise your pencils!!!! and erasers. to fix the backwards letters 😔#sorry still thinking about my weirdness with my art professors. yknow a lot of em have been really pushing us as#students to make our personal identities a major part of like our 'brand' as artists#which. well from an art history major perspective thats a very contentious and nuanced topic. i love a lot of artists who live this way#and i think its great seeing my peers who focus on identity thrive. but also as an fine arts major (double major fool LOL)#i keep getting pushed by teachers into like. specific '____ artist' identities???#specificaly woman artist. which is a little bizarre because im a bit fat and a bit gnc so im generally like. ungendered? in day-to-day life#(which doesnt actually matter to me directly that much honestly LOL people tend to view me as like. buddy? buddy or pal.)#(not man. not woman. not anything human. sometimes i remind people of a beloved dog. which. hkdsahjk thats its own can of worms)#(a can of worms that also doesnt matter much to me directly because im a wannabe furry who chose to be the dog when playing house as a kid)#(LOL so um. well. theres that) but yeah i dunno i dont really consider myself a woman artist. its been. shockingly (and sometimes luckily?)#irrelevant to most of my life and experiences and art (although dont get me wrong misogyny is very real and very present) so i dont#have a whole lot to say about it from an art perspective. you could also call me all kinds of things. a queer artist. a mixed race artist#again technically correct. some aspects more visible in my work than others. but also very technical. i focus on race a lot in in my#art historical work but i dunno how much my drawings have to say. except that i keep making too many mixed ocs LOL#i dunno i just think my professors gotta focus that energy away from tokenizing me and over to supporting like actual#capital W Woman artists capital Q Queer artists capital A Artists of Colour who are doing far more interesting things than I#far more thought out and engaged in these topics directly. i just kind of stumble into my art blindly and confused <3#sorry that was a long tangent WHAT IM SAYING Is despite all that: i do consider myself a capital D Dysgraphic artist#i think its an unmovable constant of my art and the way i draw and the way my hands move. the untrained eye doesnt seem to be as aware#of it directly. but those who are familiar can probably see it. the dysgraphia LOL if not just from whenever i write a letter or number#half of them are busted and frantically fixed HDKJSDJDS but its in all my art. if u can see it <3 ive been trying to embrace it#dygraphic artists raise your pencils indeed!! and throw away the eraser!!! make the legibility of your words everyone elses problem!!!#what does that say? what is that sketch? none of my business! none of your business!! its the business of my hand and the pencil alone#motor skill and spatial issues take the wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
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tame-a-messenger · 9 months ago
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Oh no, man. I decided to watch the Damien episode of Perfect Person coz I only found out about it from the Angela appearance.
There's a part (around 2:45) where he says he booked the Starfield VA gig right when he first started at Smosh so with it coming out recently, it kinda bookended "this part of his internet life".
And I was like, WHAT DOES HE MEAN? IS HE LEAVING SMOSH??
<darthvader.gif> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I find it interesting that he also says right before at (2:46) that he's trying to "Focus up, here soon" and since this Podcast was only 4months ago... Wonder what that means!
Ok ok joking aside I don't really think that's exactly what he meant by the things he said. I think he was mainly talking about doing more voice over work and "focus" on it more, not that he's going to fully leave Smosh.
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He also says that he spent 5-6 yrs recording for that game, so that's why I think him saying "bookended this whole part of my internet life" is ONLY referring to him voicing over that game.
I'm also pretty sure "this whole" is (although it does sound like it could mean what you thought) almost definitely his southerner coming out, and what he meant was "the game coming out has bookended 5-6yrs worth of work for the voice over I did" not that he's quitting anything (I'm becoming the truth speaker of Damien Haas)
Holy shit bro, I'm getting good at this 'decoding whatever people assume Damien meant' stuff! I felt my skin glowing while I was trying to decipher what he meant lmao
I am become Truth, the Breaker of Assumptions
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xilaxii · 8 months ago
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it may be jank but its so fun to doodle these scene inserts.. pray for thomas guys he is 3rd wheel extraordinaire ! (and best boy gosh I love him)
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fardf150 · 6 months ago
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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flower-zombie-rob · 2 years ago
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Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.
#Sometimes I really do just honestly kind of hate her. I know it's a horrible thing to say about one's parents who care for them but it's#true. With the way that she treats me and criticises me and takes every advantage of a chance to tear me down it just really hurts all the#time. I can't criticise her because she ll fly off the handle at me and say how many things she does for me that i dont apreciate enough#But for her she can say as many times as she wants that she doesn't like my hair and she doesn't like the way I dress and she doesn't like#This the way I look and she doesn't like the way I stand and she doesn't like the things I say and she doesn't like my beliefs#She can say she doesn't like my tone of voice and that she doesn't like the way i stress out about things and im not allowed to say#A negative word about her in edgeways when she's allowed to tear me down on a constant basis and make me hate myself. As someone who really#Struggles with a lot of self loathing problems and self hatred she really does just rip into me with no restraint constantly. She knows#That I suffer with some serious rejection sensitive dysphoria that I am trying to get therapist help for and she still has no restraint#When it comes to criticising me and everything I am and everything I like. And she has the goal to do this thing where she is kind of peer#Pressures me into agreeing with the things that she says which in turn just makes me consolidate those horrible beliefs about myself in my#own head. If I don't agree with her criticism of me I can't just say so I have to not along with her and affirm to myself that those#Things are true. That I don't like my own hair that I don't like my face and my makeup and my clothes. That my preferences are wrong and#That I dress too androgynously. That I could never experiment with things like pronouns or gender and that I have to agree with societally#Homophobic undertoned things that she says because I can't bare to have her criticise me again and again and again for critisising her.#I can't do this anymore it makes me dread every time she comes into my room to talk to me about some new thing she doesn't like about me. I#And constantly stressing about how much people dislike me and how annoying I am#And the fact that I'm literally hiding the things that I want to wear from her so i can put them on when i get away from her and yet she#she will still get upset if I criticise her for making me literally hate myself on a regular basis. she wont beleive me and she'll be#Confused if I have a belief that doesn't match hers and she'll get so excited when I even possibly hint at doing something to my appearance#that she likes and knows I don't. I worry wake for comic corner she wouldn't shut up about how much my hair looks really good in a style i#dont want to cut it. If I dress in a way that's openly queer she ll act like I'm going to get#and i quote “the wrong kind of attention” Because she thinks that me even possibly being misgendered because of my clothing is a#disgusting crime and that I should be the perfect Barbie doll pink pretty princess she always wanted her children to be. She wants me to be#Someone that I can't be comfortably and she's essentially forcing me to fit this mould of her preferred child. Which obviously makes me#Despise who I am and hate my own interests and style. And as horrible and hurtful as it is to say this#I can't wait to get away from her.#sigh#vent#harsh morning
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lith-myathar · 8 months ago
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.
#i joke about it and all but like. i cannot emphasize enough what an impact it had on me to be uhhhhhb#micro-institutionalized in the way that i was for the first 14 years if my life#and i am honestly going to count the time i soent in ''elementary'' school bc it wasn't a normal school. it was a charter school#that began as a parent organized alternative and swiftly devolved into an authoritarian nightmare#a bunch of people who were simply not ready to educate children let alone ''problem'' children#of which there were MANY because that school got all the kids who had been turned out of public school for behavioral issues#there were hardline rules about literally everything. normal childhood behavior was pathologized and punished and as a kid#you had no way to understand WHY#and so many of your peers were having problems because ofc those ''problem'' kids were typically severely traumatized#or were actively being abused#so even if it wasn't happening TO you you were being exposed to it in a hundred little ways every day#so i was confused and miserable all the time AND was struggling academically bc i had undiagnosed adhd#(or possibly just trauma?? i honestly neither know nor care which came first at this point)#so my mom pulled me and my brother out. him at 11 and me at 6 and said ''i'll just do it myself'' and#raised us in a way that wasn't religious but resembled evangelical or lds stuff#i couldn't watch commercial tv or listen to popular music bc my parents didn't want me exposed to what they considered inappropriate#and while i still had extracurriculars i was always the odd one out bc i had no exposure to pop culture or normal socialization#for my age group#it resulted in me always feeling alone and like i didn't belong. and since most of my social life was my parents and their friends#that was the perfect soup for adultification#i was fine with adults. put me with my peers and i was a mess#it made the transition to high school incredibly difficult but i DID make it#but that was only 4 years still in an institution. everything began to unravel once i tried to move into anything resembling ''real life''#and then my dad's suicide which was a major trauma in early adulthood which only made my mom's grip on us tighten#i did get to START life until 26. not really. and it's just been a game of catch up for the last 5 years#and im so *angry* at the unfairness of it all. at the time and experience and milestones that were taken from me. at how i blamed myself#for it for so many years and the problems i developed because of it all. dissociation and substance abuse and suicidality#the fear that still has a death grip on me#the courage required to just exist#it's *exhausting*
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aria0fgold · 10 months ago
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I think what makes Dungeon Meshi a really Really good story is the fact that no amount of spoilers could ever give you a full picture cuz honestly, I still have no idea what's happening in it.
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alchemiclee · 11 months ago
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there's so many popular repetitive video games that seem so boring to play, but then I watch people stream them with a group of friends, and they make it seem so fun just because the people playing are so lively and goofy and funny. I want that. I want to be part of a group of streamers or at least group of friends that make receptive and otherwise boring games fun and hilarious. a group that's not boring, serious, competitive. one that cares more about having fun and laughing than completing the video game objective 😭
#like the currenr one lethal company#it doesnt look fun at all and looks like it would get boring fast. UNLESS you have hilarious friends to laugh with#which i lack. i dont have enough friends and most people i know and would play co op games are too serious and boring#people probably think the same of me. im generally quiet and confused when playing games and bad at them#usually people get mad at me for being bad or goofing around so its never fun. but the fun people never invite me#probably because they thjnk im the boring one. but i absorb energy like a sponge!!!!! be silly and funny and i will too!#i really need a group of people with great silly fun energy who i csn feed off of. i miss laughing. i need to laugh. i never laugh anymore😐#lee rambles#every time i tried playing with people i know I honestly got so bored. I feel bad because they're the only ones nice enough to play with me.#but they're too serious and not funny. so I haven't played with them in like a year at least and am afraid to ask lmao#why do the silly fun people avoid me and only the serious boring people would agree...i need an energy boost#i need a person to be my battery. where do i get a battery#want to play l4d2 again. its been a while. its so hard to fill the lobby and the couple people that used to play with me arent funny 😅#if i could get a group of silly funny weirdos together then id try lethal company. but i wont try with boring groups#there's so many games i bought to play with people and got ditched that could use a goofy group too. sighs.#why am i still rambling. i dont even have the energy to speak to multiple people at once and play a game#but maybe that's why i need a battery#anyway i kinda really miss doing silly goofy rp and regular gaming hasnt been able to replace the laughter that brought me 😭😭#i need a good laugh. cant remember last time i laughed until i cried. laughing makes me feel good for a bit sighs. someone make me laugh pls
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panlyv · 1 year ago
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wtv
#self harm tw#it's funny how much crueler i am with myself now than when i was younger#because ive been shing for hhh idk 8 9 years now#it started as me wanting to punish myself for all the guilty i felt inside#and it went on for a long long time because i just felt horrible and i needed to disappear so things would be alright#but i couldn't kill myself so i just hurt my body instead to try and make up for it#i was sad and scared and confused back then#but now? im just angry. im tired. im fed up of myself#the cuts are much deeper and longer and there's so many more of them#and i just keep doing it#i honestly dont think there's much rhyme or reason for it rn. i just wanna hurt myself bc i hate myself so much i want to fucking die#and yeah maybe ill attempt again but this time ill make damn sure it works#but i still never harm my wrists or anywhere visible#its always my waist/hips/thighs and i never wear shorts or anything above my ankles#like i cant tell u the last time i wore actual shorts or like proper beachwear (i live in the beach) bc my hips are just scars#prob been like 10 years since ive worn swimwear lmfao thanks gender dysphoria and self harm !#but yeah now i just want it to hurt and bleed and make me feel some goddamn thing that inst this fucking void#im so fucking tired dude#what's the point of anything#nothing feels meaningful or real or important enough#im an unlovable broken motherfucker and im fed up of never getting better#oh but u need to stop being so pessimistic then !! suck my dick ive tried pretending i wanted to live and be happy and it never worked#so again whats the fucking point#im done here#dawn.txt
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shhhimnothereiswear · 10 months ago
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I think I'd be an avatar of the Eye (I LOVE learning new stuff) or the Spiral (im just funky like that)
I think I'd probably give a statement on the Corruption (I'm currently writing a fan statement on it B] )
ok wait im curious-
which tma entity do you think youd be an avatar of and which do you think youd give a statement on
#cheerios reblogs >:)#prev >#i am cringe but i am free#tma#just me rambling again#this is like. the hogwarts house or chb cabin for this fandom#and like! its gotta be legit it cant just be which one you think youd most want to encounter or be affiliated with#like it has to be genuinely considering your interests and things youre drawn to /#like it has to be genuinely considering your interests and things youre drawn to and have been drawn to / fears that would unsettle you#to like a very specific high degree and hobbies or things you do thatd cause you to have to face it#once again this is probably cringe as hell but idc#i feel kinda like how i did in relation to fandom stuff in middle school rn but its making my brain happy so. i dont give a shit#like one of my friends at first thought would probably be somehow related to the spiral but on more thought n after talking we decided#he would definitely be an avatar of the eye and have an encounter with the stranger! or another friend would be an avatar of the stranger#but would honestly probably give a statement or at least be most afraid of the web! i just think its neat i mean none of the friends ive#rambled to abt this silly little podcast actually have listened to it but its still so very fun to let brain go brbrbrbbrr and explain#things and talk abt plot stuff w them i think (usually pretty boy more than anything that poor dude has to deal w so many rambles)#i think for me we came to the conclusion of avatar of the spiral (fractals and spiraling stuff make brain brbrbrbrbr + hyperfixated#on optical illusions for a good portion of my childhood + deep longing to confuse people + just how i am abt the concept of madness)#(also just a deep love for distorted imagery and audio god anything with audio distorions makes my brain so very brbrbrbrbrbr)#(i feel like this explains my Unnormal Unnormalcore feelings abt mr michael distortion himself)#and one of my friends said they think id give a statement on the corruption which i think honestly makes a lot of sense?#im very outdoorsy and love dirt and being in nature and im usually chill w bugs n shit but the thing they suggested was like.#i seem like i would pry open a rotting log just to see whats there and there would be worms or smth (which shouldnt bother me) but#like theres way too many of them or something about them just sets off the creepy crawly what the hell freak out part of my brain#and i was like shit dude that makes sense bc i feel like a lot of the time peoples statements they start off with like oh yeah btw this#thing has never scared me im chill with this thing or this is common w a hobby i like BUT THIS ONE TIME. IT WAS BAD.#anyways im hyperfixated and know more than i should about the workings and concepts despite having just finished episode 52#like i know the gist of the fears n shit and can put together stuff n see patterns but i genuinely dont know shit abt the actual plot#so like
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bleachposting · 2 years ago
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ah yes hello my old friend, social anxiety i get in only extremely specific circumstances esp social situations where i have little control over the entirety of the situation, it’s been a while
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yjhzies · 3 months ago
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“Museum dates.” — JWW
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⸝⸝୭ ˚. fluff . est relation . crack
⋆ pairings : wonwoo x f!reader ⋆ warning : reader isn't that interested in art, Wonwoo is a hot nerd, terms of endearment (baby, love) ⋆ wc : 0.5k [✉️] · Visiting museum is interesting - not that much, but if your boyfriend likes it, you like it too!
⋆ - note : IM HONESTLY NOT INTERESTED IN ART TOO, so I got many things wrong 🎀 can be read as gn!reader, but I'm not sure 😔 | tysm @gyubakeries 4 the req <33
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"Baby, look here,"
You turned to the direction of the voice and found your boyfriend, Wonwoo, staring at an art piece by the wall.
"Yeah?"
"Look at this."
You look at it, and honestly, you're not as impressed as him. Not that you didn't find it interesting, but you were never into art that much. Maybe you just don't understand.
Wonwoo gently took your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours, pointing at the art piece.
"See this person? It's the king of the kingdom that won this war." He said, referring to the war dates mentioned below, glancing at you for a brief second.
You nod in acknowledgement, squinting your eyes as you took in the way the king's head was shaped weirdly, and giggled to yourself.
Wonwoo looked at you, his eyebrows knitting together.
"Hm?"
You pause and glance at him; he was looking at you confused.
"...what?" You ask, sheepishly smiling. Your boyfriend peered at your face, then puckered his lips.
"You don't find this interesting?"
Your smile slowly fades as you blink nervous.
"No, no! Why would you think that!" You laugh, hitting his shoulder and rest your hands on your hips.
"Ah, that hurt," Wonwoo winced, rubbing his shoulder. Your brows cured upwards and eyes flashed with worry as you reached out to touch the part where you had hit him.
"Did I hit too hard? I'm sorry-"
"Okay, okay, let's go see some other art works!" Wonwoo grabbed your hand gently, and led you towards a different section.
"Look," he smiled, nodding towards the art piece in front of you.
"Woah, is that an ice cream cone!?" You gasp, pointing at it.
"It's a flower pot, love."
You pause, mentally slap yourself, and turn around to face him. The amusement in his voice, and now he was grinning at you. Embarrassing.
"I knew it, I knew it, of course!" You widen your eyes, trying to prove your point that didn't exist. Wonwoo nods in agreement, smiling amusedly.
"Of course you did," he chuckled, brushing a hair strand behind your ear. "Does that ice cream cone look delicious though?" He asked, glancing at the art piece behind you.
Your right eye twitched, and your face painted with a frown. "Well, it won't when I don't agree to visit the museum next time."
Wonwoo frowned, his soft lips jutting out in a soft pout.
"Hey, don't say that..."
"Say what?"
"That you won't go out on a museum date with me."
You nod, pretending to think for a moment. "Ice cream?"
"As many as you want." Your boyfriend's face lit up with hope. How could you deny a cute your man?
"Alright!" You chirp, swinging his hand back and fourth as he mirrored your grin.
You'd attend as many museum dates as he wants. You'd listen to all his nerd-talks, and still never get bored. Even though you don't understand a thing, having Wonwoo be the yapper seems to activate the cuteness aggression in you. So, you don't mind being the listener for once.
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– taglist : @gyubakeries @k1eev @haowrld @armycarat2612
[check out masterlist - pinned post to be added to the taglist!]
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harmoonix · 1 year ago
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🎐Spirit of the Wind🎐
(Astrology Observations)
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🎐 - Juno/Moon in Air Signs, these natives are looking for communication in their relationships, they are so good at expressing themselves in love & very devoted to their partners
🎐 - Aries Moons/Moon in the 1st house natives are very confident even if they don't always show it they give that energy sometimes in their personality
🎐 - I think Mercurial Moons (Gemini and Virgo moons) may get triggered the most and maybe sometimes Leo Moons too
🎐 - Lilith aspecting Saturn can bring conflicts especially with their dad/older brother/cousins/grandfather's and so on like there is always someone toxic in their family
🎐 - Moon aspecting Juno natives can be the most clingiest people, they will attach to your heart and will never go
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🎐 - North Node sextile/trine/conjunct Jupiter can face many opportunities/benefits in their lives/journey/path, (in harsh aspects is like you are blinded from them and you can't see the opportunities you have in front of you)
🎐 - Pluto square/opposite/conjunct north node will mostly experience a rebirth with every thing that happens in their lives, I met so many natives with those aspects who are so experienced in their lives
🎐 - Moon sqaure/opposite/conjunct Saturn can tend to have a nostalgic mood/aura around them, something about them reminds you about the past
🎐 - Venus in Air houses (3rd,7th,11th house) have the best humour in a love/friend relationship, they will know how to comfort you both emotionally and physically
🎐 - Venus in Virgo/Venus in the 6th house will share their nurturing/healing energy with those who need it, these placements are healing and awaken type of natives
🎐 - Neptune/Pluto conjunct the ascendant will feel like they belong in the world, they can feel sometimes outcasted or maybe out of the crowd but that's what makes them unique they're just born different (in a nice way I love them so much)
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🎐 - Uranus conjunct the ascendant will make the native very creative, they are the type of people who come off with the best ideas and the best plans for everything
🎐 - Sun opposite Lilith (h12) can attract other people only with their presence, Lilith can feel very strong when aspects the sun but when it's opposite, it will share that energy to themselves
🎐 - Lilith (h12) square/opposite/parallel/conjunct Moon are so seductive at first and is the fact that in contact with others it will just make them more curious about your life
🎐 - Uranus in the 7th house can make the native confused about their relationships and love life, they're like "What tf happens in my life now"
🎐 - South Node in the 9th house natives can feel very detached from religion/religiously detached and honestly you can't blame at all for that. Is the south node energy
🎐- Although im still not sure if Jupiter represents the husband in modern astrology instead of Mars but in vedic chart Jupiter it still represents the husband and i love to read about it 😭✋🏼
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🎐 - Think at Vesta Asteroid (4) as a the point where your soul feels at home, feels safe, feels free. For example I have my Vesta in the 2nd house (Venus rules that house, and I tend to believe food brings me soul happiness especially chocolate 🍫✋🏼😭)
🎐 - I honestly love natives with Scorpio/ Sagittarius or Capricorn in big 6 because they honestly don't give a single f about what people say about them, really
🎐 - Someone asked me if the people with moon prominence in the chart feel the Intensity when the moon is changing signs and phases 😭✋🏼 yes they can, I feel like crazy when the moon is at first quarter
🎐 - Okayyy so there is an asteroid opposite to Lilith (h12) called (White Moon Selena h56) honestly is a good asteroid, is like a pure energy in your birth chart but in the same time it shows what things bring you happines, use this chart to identify what can bring your happiness
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🎐 - I think I never mentioned before but Sun in the 6th house natives really can shine everywhere they go with their nurturing energy
🎐 - Do people with asc - pluto aspects seem maybe rude/harsh at first😭? Is because they have the Pluto aura around them which can make them seem like a bad guy, but they can be the sweetest people
🎐 - Moon at the 6°, 18° degrees really so observe everything in the room even the small details like wow idk how they can be so focused on everything and analyzing every detail
🎐 - Neptune in the 1st house natives or Neptune aspecting the ascendant may have something unique about their skin like moles or maybe birth marks? maybe freckles too
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🎐 - Uranus in the 9th house natives can end up travelling to places they never expected, like those people who wake up in the middle or nowhere or "I never imagined I would travel here" kind of vibe
🎐 If you have Saturn in Cancer or Saturn in the 4th house you kinda have a lot of family karma, and generational karma as well. Is not bad but try to not blame yourself for this
🎐 Pluto in the 7th house is one of the placements I wish I had in my chart because I just love the meaning behind this placement is that the relationships change you very intensely and the same happens with Venus - Pluto aspects, if you have both you are more wise/mature in the future relationships
🎐 Gemini/Sagittarius and Pisces Mercury can indicate a person may talk too fast/bold way of talking/sometimes they can be a bit too harsh in their talking too
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🎐 Juno in the 9th/12th house can indicate that you may find your lover in a forgien country or somewhere away from your home maybe while traveling
🎐 Juno in the 6th/Juno in Virgo can indicate a spouse/specific person who loves to take care of their mental health a lot they actually have a very healing energy
🎐 Juno aspecting the ascendant people will see you as someone ideal to marry/or to date (Unless they are like "Would you like to have kids* yeah my Juno rejects these things.
🎐 Juno in the 11th house or in Aquarius can indicate a spouse/specific person who appreciates your *weird* side, and also someone who gives you freedom
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🎐 From Tarzan's jungle we did a bigggg jump back in the north America to visit the indigenous American culture because 😍😍😍 their culture is extremely beautiful and unique and here we met Pocahontas which by way was based by the legend of Pocahontas🎐
🌲🌲First let me say they are so beautiful if you think Pocahontas is pretty you need to look for how indigenous north American people look like (Slightly different from the south american ones but still share a close thing together). Their connection with nature and with the earth is very pure 🌲🌲
Have a very beautiful day to all of you who read my notes, Harmoonix ♥️❤️
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biolumien · 7 months ago
Text
... carried flower petals
pt 2 to this
notes: I AM. such a bad writer. help. going through double the stages of grief on this one. who even cares. who even gaf! i don't. im winning in the dgaf wars. (lying)
samurai!soshiro hoshina x fem!reader NSFW! w/ m/f sex. no i did not proofread this. this isn't a flex i actively just squinted trying not to look too hard at my own writing. this is also hoshina pov word count: 2415
hoshina supposes that he couldn’t blame you for your reaction. there was no way you would have been happy about marrying him, a complete and utter stranger–no matter how many times you might have met prior. and in the three times you’d met, he’d tried to keep his distance. there was an aura of deep discontent about you, and he didn’t want to disturb you, for fear that your anger would turn darker.
at least, until you pulled a dagger on him.
the dagger that he’d gifted you, no less. 
or, well–he hadn’t gifted it to you directly. he had selected the gift, but it had come alongside the marriage offer–and so hoshina wondered if you’d conflated the dagger as something utterly negative. when he’d picked out the dagger, he’d vowed it to keep you safe from harm. a selfish well-wishing on his part, sure–as a samurai, he was bound to make enemies that could hurt you.
he raises a hand to his neck, touching where you might have slashed him.
would he have let you? 
he brings himself to his feet as the sliding door to his room opens. you stand in the doorway, dressed in a simple nightgown–a far cry from the garments you wore during the ceremony. 
his mind flits back to them, for a moment–you’d chosen to wear pure white, contrasting him in his black haori and hakama. your expression had been severe, distant even then. you’d followed your new attendants into the quarters of your new housing within the hoshina clan’s home to change out of your wedding attire, and you hadn’t met his glance once.
you bow your head.
“your attendants tell me you’re quite the talent in bed,” you say, your voice crisp. your eyes meet his, your gaze unreadable. his eyes flick to your hands, folded neatly in front of you–and yet your fingers are fidgeting ever so slightly, a possible indication of just how nervous you were. 
hoshina can’t help but laugh.
“is that what they say? my mother can’t help but find people that run their mouths…” hoshina runs a hand through his hair. “sit. i can’t have my wife–” the word still felt foreign to him–wife, he was really a husband, was that even a moniker that fit him?–but he swallows his misgivings, pats one of the cushions next to the futon. “–standing for so long. it would be unfitting.”
“so are you?” you gather your kimono, sitting down. 
hoshina hums.
“if i tell you, would you see me differently?” hoshina asks.
“well. you’re my husband,” you say. the corners of your lips twitch when you say the word husband, your brow furrowing a little bit as you say it. a clear show of your definite displeasure. “i have to… accept it, after all. as your wife. hell, your attendants tell me that you were in the process of courting concu–”
“ahh,” hoshina leans his head back. “so is that what that’s all about?” he sighs, a strange, tightening pressure forming somewhere in his throat. the marriage acceptance hadn’t been on his end. it’d been his father’s, much to his mother’s chagrin. you were from a no-name clan, having long lost your family’s relevance. his mother had complained about your family’s name dragging down the hoshina family’s name.
but as hoshina reminisced–he couldn’t give a damn about his family name.
his brother–his proud, arrogant, stubborn, awful brother–had made his opinion on their family name very clear, by just leaving.
hoshina did resent him for it, just a little. it just meant that he couldn’t run away, now. 
“no. the concubine rumor’s bullshit,” hoshina says. “quite honestly, i couldn’t be bothered. i’m not in the interest of producing my family an heir.”
“huh?” you ask, sounding confused. “but–” “i mean. the sex is fine,” hoshina says candidly, placidly. “and if the family gets an heir, we get an heir. but it’s never been my concern. i think you ought not to worry about it, either. our families need each other. it’ll be reason enough for you to stay.” 
you stare at him, perplexed for the moment, before your brow also furrows. 
“so, you… don’t, want—”
“mm. you pulled a knife on me last time we talked,” hoshina teases as he begins to undo his ponytail. “i thought that made your opinion on me fairly clear. i won’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable if you don’t want it. my folks won’t be happy, but there’s nothing like lying that can’t fix that.” he runs a hand through his hair. “so it’s your call.”
you watch him. 
“it’s fine,” you say. you lean in closer to him, and he simply watches you—watches you like he did on the first day the two of you met, watches you like he did when you raised the dagger to his throat. always watching, waiting for you to make the first move. 
“i’d rather just get it over with,” you say. “the first time.” 
“mm. as you command, then,” hoshina says. 
when he leans in to kiss you, he does it slowly. you taste faintly of the sake you drank during the marriage ceremony, though the alcohol has long worn off. 
he wishes he could take you apart more cleanly. to take you apart with intention. he can draw the lines from the veins in your wrist to the beating, fluttering of your heart in your breast. you kiss him with your eyes open, as if you’re watching for his every movement. he supposes that he’s watching you, too, trying to see what you’ll do. what you like. 
“are you just going to kiss me?” you murmur, something like spite in your voice. “or are you actually going to show me something interesting?” 
“interesting?” he pulls back from the kiss, raising an eyebrow. 
“i’ve read all the woodcuts,” you say. “as apparently was my duty as your wife. i was just wondering if there was anything more interesting than that.” 
“mm. you can’t possibly learn what it feels like through reading alone,” hoshina says. “experience is the best teacher.”
“big talk,” you retort. hoshina almost hates the way his heart flutters at your words, entranced by you. one hand reaches out to touch your face, the other hand gently reaching down to undo your obi as he pulls you closer to him, letting you straddle his lap. 
“i’m afraid most of my lovers say i’m a talkative one,” hoshina purrs. “but i hope you’ll find me satisfactory.” when he leans in to kiss you again, your sash falls gently onto the ground, and the inner layers of your kimono come undone.  
he’s had no small share of lovers—or, well, general brothel experience, he supposes. he’s a man in the end—a samurai from a family of renown, for whom many lovers might have found him appealing simply for how much money he was willing to pay for good service. but he knows what he’s doing, in any case.
he revels in it, though—at how responsive and jittery you seem to be. the faintest touch of his hand against your skin is enough to make you jolt out of your skin, and you whimper ever so slightly as his fingers pull at a nipple, and he feels your pulse jump in your throat as his teeth graze at your neck. he feels you shift against him, attempt to press your thighs together and he laughs. 
he’s surprised there, too—the way you shudder when he laughs, as he’s pressed against you. 
when his fingers seek between your legs, he’s thrilled, but still surprised to find the telltale sign of slick. 
“mm. this wet already, really?” hoshina teases. his hand brushes against your inner thigh, coaxing you to spread your legs a little more, and he feels your leg twitch against the shift of his knuckles. “you’re desperate.” 
“as if.” your breath sounds shuddery, and hoshina laughs, not meanly. he wonders how he could take you apart—could he use just his mouth? his fingers? the mere suggestion of touching you, just using words alone? he wanted to know, desperately so. desperately in the same way he wanted to know your heart, if only you’d let him. but in the meantime, he smiles—and it’s more of a smirk. 
he takes his fingers to his mouth, sucking the wetness from his fingers, and he revels in the way you flush, a half-scandalized and half-flustered sound escaping your mouth. 
“it’s alright,” hoshina says, teasing. 
“i don’t—need you to tell me it’s alright,” you say, flustered. “i just—”
“less talking from you,” hoshina says, fondly. gently. he’s entranced by you, the swell of your breast and the way your skin flushes red from your neck to your collarbones. he wishes he could sink his teeth into your pulse—or would you give him your beating heart, let him devour the tender organ? “you’re doing wonderfully. do you feel up for more?” 
you pause, biting your lip. he marvels at the way your fingers twitch against his in anticipation, and your brow furrows. 
“let—i want to be on top,” you say, and hoshina simply smiles. 
“alright,” he acquiesces. “i’m all yours.”
that much was true. he was learning far too quickly that he was very much a man that would follow you anywhere, that he was at your beck and call. 
you help him undress with shaking hands, pulling his belt away and pushing the kimono from his shoulders. your hands stop for a moment as you survey his chest—hoshina watches your face, propped back and leaning back on his hands. your fingers press against a deep scar against his chest, and your eyes meet his. 
“long story,” hoshina says softly. “not the kind i’d tell my wife on our first night together, anyhow.” 
your hand gently touches his cock and he hisses, practically, wincing at how it feels like too much and not much at all. it takes most of his discipline to not rut up into the touch, to let himself be taken by that pleasure. you gently push him back, letting him lie back against the futon. 
as you lower yourself slowly onto his cock, hoshina watches as your fingers flex against his chest, your eyes squeeze and your toes desperately curl. he shifts his hips a little bit, and you whimper. 
“don’t tease,” you keen. 
“m’not.”
hoshina thinks it’s quite the opposite, really. he’s a patient man, but not this patient. you’re about halfway down his cock at this point, slowly taking him in bit by bit—and then his patience just snaps somehow when he hears you whine again. not in a bad way—just in a he’ll fucking die like this, he’s sure kind of way. 
you gasp immediately as he thrusts up, causing you to bottom out. your hips meet his, and you lean your head back, a loud and desperate moan leaving your lips. 
“y-you awful man,” you moan out, something like a pout in your tone. “i wanted to take my time—”
“mm—hm. sorry,” hoshina teases, not quite apologetic at all. his voice strains a bit—you feel almost like a fire, your cunt desperately squeezing against his cock. “just don’t think i’ll last long with you squeezing me like this. does it feel that good?”
your face flushes, your hair plastered to your forehead. 
“shut up.”
“i’ll take that as a yes, then,” hoshina says, unrepentant in the way he thrusts up into you, reveling in the way you respond to each movement with tiny little whimpers that stretch into longer and longer cries. you don’t say his name, but he finds himself uncaring for the moment. does he wish you’d say his name? does he wish, however selfishly, that this moment might burn itself into your memory?
surely he doesn’t. it would be unbecoming of him to ask that much. 
your hand leans out, digging into his skin, and he lets out a soft, raspy breath, taking your hand into his. 
“‘m close,” you whimper out through shaking breaths, and hoshina’s heart squeezes again, at the way your hips cant against his, as if each touch almost hurts, but you can’t help but continue to press your hips against his, trying to find more traction. hoshina smirks, his free hand reaching out to thumb at your clit, flicking upwards, and tries to see if he can memorize the way you seize up against him, the way you squeeze down on his cock–tries to see if he can memorize every twitch.
he hopes he can.
you cum soon after, and your hand digs into his so hard that he wonders if you might be able to break his fingers one day–and hopes that you can. he holds you tightly against him, letting you ride out the waves of your orgasm as you whimper tiny uh, uh, uhs–until you wince.
“hurts, i–please,” you say, and hoshina takes pity on you for the moment, pulls out, and strokes soothingly at your face. your chest heaves, and hoshina thinks he could get lost in your every motion. as hoshina shifts to move away–he’d rather prioritize your comfort over his in the end, so despite the fact that he was hard to the point it almost hurt, he figured he’d just deal with it on his own—you shift up.
“but you–you didn’t,” you say after a moment, grabbing his wrist. 
“hm?” hoshina hums. “mm. don’t worry about me, dear. i’m more than capable of–fuck, you–” his voice halts right as your hand wraps around his cock, your thumb grazing over the head of it ever so gently. “fuck. you-you don’t have to–”
“please,” you say, something like disdain–or spite? or something, he really couldn’t tell–in your voice. “i can do this much.”
he cums embarrassingly fast–the mixture of being so strung out at this point, so strangely affected, enamored by you–and he can’t help but laugh. he wants to press his face into your collarbone, but he can’t bring himself to cross the distance. he hums, instead, simply exhaling through his teeth for a moment.
“get some rest,” hoshina says. he watches as your face shifts ever so slightly–and he wishes he knew you better, if only so he could understand what you were thinking.
“alright,” you say.
hoshina fears he’s in love.
but the part of him that knows better says he shouldn’t be. he watches silvery moonlight paint the planes of your back, and you turn away from him, lost in sleep. 
he sighs.
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