#honestly kind of nervous to post this and i don't know why but i'm just going to do it to get it over with

[hoardingsoap]

how in the WORLD did you get your blog to post once every ten minutes that's incredible

:0 the petrichorvoices aka radiomogai in the flesh!? sending an ask on my hoarding blog!? /pos

anyways, it's because of the queue 2.0 which you can enable in tumblr labs. then you can control the queue a bit more. this is what mine looks like! :D

you can't do it on the app though, so you'd have to do this on desktop, or in the browser of your phone.

also, happy new years, Radio! :3

[ahgasegotarmy116]

It's Hard to Believe | Jungkook One Shot

Summary: Getting pregnant with your best friend's baby definetly wasn't a part of the plan... Pairing: f!Reader x Jungkook (fwb, f2l) Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: A tiny bit of explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy a/n: This is something I started writing at like midnight and it's kinda shit but I thought I might as well post it since I haven't posted in a while (Like five days short of a month wtf?!?!? How has it been that long?!?!) (I just barely checked rn lmao my bad 🥲) p.s. I kinda wanna do a full on series on a concept like this but it'll be different and less fluffy but that won't be happening for a long ass time but yeah lol Requested by a lovely anon 💜

"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask my friend Sam for the millionth time since I found out. "Y/n just tell him. You guys have been friends for how long?" she asks and it's like I'm having deja vu from both of our responses. "Like ten years" I mumble and pull my sweatshirt sleeves down over my hands in an effort to stop my nervous fiddling but it only makes it worse. 

"Right and you guys have been messing around with each other for over a year now, maybe even more...I don't wanna know" she says while holding her hand up in a way to assure me that she doesn't need the details. "Just tell him. If he's as great of a guy as you keep on telling me he is then I promise everything will be okay" she says and places a hand on my shoulder before she gets up off my couch. 

"Where are you going?" I ask while she shrugs on her jacket. "Didn't you say he's supposed to be here around five?" she asks and I nod my head, checking the clock and seeing that it's already 4:30. 

"Yeah...are you sure you don't wanna stay and say hi?" I ask and she glares at me. "Let me know what his response is to that bun in the oven and then we'll talk. I wanna figure out if he's an asshole or not before I decide to waste anytime on him" she says while lacing up her shoes. 

"Promise me you'll tell him tonight?" she asks and lifts up her hood, getting ready to shield herself from the pouring rain outside. I nod my head reluctantly, that being way more progress than I've made for the past few weeks since I found out. "I promise" I utter under my breath and she smiles, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug. 

"Text me if you need me" she says, worried for what might happen but hoping for the best. "I will...thanks" I whisper and she nods her head before walking out of my door and turning slightly and waving to offer me one last farewell.

I close the door after I see her get into her car and lean my back up against it, steadying myself for a second and taking deep breaths, trying to stop my racing heartbeat before pushing off of it and tidying up before Jungkook gets here to distract myself. 

Sam has been the only one I've been able to count on and honestly the only person I can trust since I haven't told anyone else. She was the one I called when I missed my period and she's the one who brought me a pregnancy test...and then when out and bought me ten more because I couldn't actually grasp the concept that I was pregnant...am pregnant.

Jungkook and I have always been careful and taken all the necessary steps to keep this from happening but I guess we got careless this time. 

Through out this whole arrangement we've made it very clear to each other that we're not sleeping with anyone else but neither of us are looking for any sort of commitment either so that's why this has gone on for so long. 

Like it or not though we're going to be committed to each other in one way or another no matter what because I'm keeping this baby. No matter what he says I'm keeping them. 

Jungkook is my best friend, the one person who has been there for me through everything. He's seen me at all of my highest highs and especially at my lowest lows and no matter what he's never made me feel shitty about it. I know he's not the kind of guy that'll turn on you because of something like this but I can't help but still feel terrified. 

This wasn't supposed to happen but even if this child wasn't made with love from his side...it was made with love from mine. 

I don't know how long it's been since I fell in love with him but I know I shouldn't have said yes to this whole fuck buddy ordeal. I just couldn't stand the thought of him being with someone else so when he offered up the idea I said yes.

I figured that if this was a way to prevent him from getting his heart broken by all those sorry excuses of girlfriends he's had in the past then I guess I'll be okay with breaking mine.

He's been acting different lately though. He's been a lot touchier, asking to come over more often, going out of his way to help me with things, offering to feed me all the time and all of it is making me feel like he already knows. 

Does he know? Have I started showing already? I haven't really noticed a difference in my body yet but he looks at me naked a lot more often than I pay attention to myself naked so I mean I guess he could've noticed right? 

Only one way to find out though...

A half an hour later I hear him take out his keys and unlock my door and soon I'm greeted with a smile that tugs at my heartstrings. 

"Hi baby" he says, using that pet name he's become very fond of since this whole ordeal started. The sound of it after finding out I'm pregnant with his baby has made me a little uncomfortable though since I haven't told him yet. 

Don't get me wrong I love it when he calls me that but I can't help but think that if this goes south that he won't ever call me that again. 

Maybe the hormones have started to scramble my brain already because those uncomfortable feelings are quickly thrown away when I take in the sight of him after he shrugs off his rain coat. A simple black baggy hoodie and jeans engulf his form and the comfy sight just makes me want to curl up in bed with him and forget about everything and everyone.

Just him and I, it's always been him and I. I just don't know if this little one is going to change things. 

I place a hand on my stomach for a second as a way to gain some strength from my itty bitty baby before finally working up the courage to greet him.

"Hi" I greet him softly, walking over to where he's stopped to take off his shoes and when he looks back up at me he smiles again and kisses me. I sigh into it, savoring it for just a little bit longer and when it finally breaks he looks down at me with concern now written all over his face. 

"Are you okay?" he asks, sensing that something's off right away from the just the small change in the way I kissed him. I hesitate for a second then simply hold out my hand for him to take and he does, following behind me as I lead him over to my couch. 

Getting this over with sooner rather than later is my best option right now so there's no reason to delay. 

He needs to know, he deserves to know.

We sit there in silence, longer than he would like us to since I can tell how tense his body has gotten in a matter of minutes. "Y/n you're scaring me" he whispers, not wanting to pressure me but relaying his feelings. 

I take a couple more deep breaths before finally starting. "I need you to listen to me and I need you to please not speak until I'm finished" I say while looking down at my lap, not being able to meet his eyes. 

He murmurs a soft 'okay' and waits for me to continue, taking one of my hands and placing it in his lap. He needs some form of physical contact to keep him grounded since he's not too sure what to expect and I let him, knowing I need some reassurance too. 

Even if I don't know what his reaction is gonna be, in this moment I need it more than ever.

"I guess there's really no right way to go about saying this because this wasn't supposed to happen so I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I start off and he squeezes my hand, encouraging me to keep going. 

"I missed my period...over a month ago...and I haven't had it since then" I say and finally look up at him where he has an unsure expression. It's not one that's mad or disappointed with what I've said thus far which is a good thing but more like he's trying hard to hold himself back so he can keep that promise. 

His hold on my hand hasn't loosened, in fact it's gotten even tighter and that gives me hope that we'll work this out so I take another deep breath before continuing. 

"I tried to kid myself into thinking that it was late but when another week passed by I got nervous. I asked Sam to get me a test and it came out positive. I didn't believe it and thought it was a false positive and so to ease my mind she went a bought ten more from a bunch of different brands and...all of them came out positive" I say and he still looks at me with that same expression, waiting for me to give him the okay to speak and so I do. 

"How long have you known?" are the first words out of his mouth and although they're not negative they aren't necessarily positive either. "About a month now" I say and he nods his head, taking another second or two to formulate what he's gonna say next. 

"I'll support you no matter what you decide" he says and I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding in. "I wanna keep it" I say and he nods his head and smiles softly at first and then as the seconds go by it gets wider and wider making my heart beat faster. 

"Am I allowed to get excited now?" he whispers and I can't help but chuckle as tears start to prickle my eyes and give him a nod. "You're excited?" I say, my whole being slowly overcome with emotion. 

"How could I not be?" he scoffs playfully but that answer has me confused. "But Jungkook we're not together. I mean we're not in a relationship, we're just friends" I explain and there's a playful glint in his eyes after I say that that's making me even more nervous.

"You wanna know what I thought you were gonna tell me?" he offers up, slightly changing topics but I look at him in a way to urge him to continue. "I thought you were gonna break up with me" he says and I smile, "Jungkook we're not together. How could I break up with you?" I chuckle in disbelief. 

"Correction, I thought you were gonna break up with me before I even got the chance to ask you to be my girlfriend" he says with a grin and my jaw drops, the dots all connecting as to why he's been acting so different lately. "You were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend?" I utter quietly as if we were in a crowed room and I had a secret for just the two of us.

"I had actually planned on asking you tonight" he explains, walking over to where he had placed his backpack on the floor, taking out a bouquet of slightly squished flowers. "Sorry they're all beat up. I forgot and rode my bike over here so I didn't really have any other option but to put them in there" he says almost as if he was nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and it's then that I notice how pink his ears have gotten. 

He is nervous

I take them from him and smile, waiting for him to say it but he simply stands there and admires me and I can't help but laugh. "What so funny? I told you what happened to them" he utters through pouty lips which only makes me laugh more. "No, no it's not the flowers it's just that...don't you have something to say?" I ask, calming down my chuckles and when he looks at me with the same confused expression I have to try my hardest to keep the laughter at bay. 

"Do you have something you would like to ask me Jungkook" I rephrase it and after a second his lips go from a pout to the shape of an 'O' as he's figured it out. "Oh um, yeah, right. Well I um" he starts off, rubbing the back of his neck again while stuttering and trying to find the words and after struggling for a second I decide to poke fun at him again. 

"Jungkook I am literally carrying your child and you're too afraid to ask me to be your girlfriend?" I laugh, giving him a slight reality check which he scoffs at before responding. 

"I was trying to remember what I had rehearsed to say to you but now that you're being a little brat I guess you'll never get to know all the nice things I was gonna say" he retorts, his voice suddenly taking on a darker tone that sends a shiver through my body and he smirks when he sees my reaction to it. 

He cups my face and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, making them part and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops just shy of my lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he whispers, nudging his nose against mine and making me smile. 

"I'll have to think about that" I play coy with him which he chuckles at. "You know if you weren't pregnant right now I would have thrown you over my lap for that smart mouth" he warns and I smile before leaning in and kissing him for just a second before pulling back. 

"Yes I'll be your girlfriend" I say and nudge my nose against his as well and before I can register it my back is on the couch and his lips are pressed against mine, the kiss not rushed but full of so many words that have yet to be said and he gives in, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"I love you" he says, pulling back and looking down at me to see my expression which is completely dumbfounded to say the least. "You what?" I ask and he chuckles, "Is it really that hard to believe?" he points out and I guess now that I think about it it really isn't.

"I guess we've both been in love with each other for a while now huh?" I smile and his eyes light up at my round about confession. "Say it" he says, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. I hadn't planned on actually saying those three words to him even though I've felt them for so long but I don't want to hold them back anymore. 

"I love you" I whisper and he smiles, "Say it again" he repeats, clearly not believing it just yet. "I love you Jungkook" I say and the little switch up with attaching his name to the end darkens his gaze. "I guess there's no chance in me getting you pregnant a second time right now huh?" he asks, sliding his hand up my thigh and I giggle. 

"No I think that's pretty much impossible but the odds are never zero" I say and he rolls his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that I wanna hit it raw" he states the obvious while rolling his eyes. "I know I know...and the answer is yes Daddy" I tease, testing to see how that word affects him now that he knows.

He tongues his cheek at that making me bite my lip, knowing that's gonna be even more of a trigger word for him from now on. "Daddy huh? Well I guess that title is a little more fitting now isn't it?" 

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[submattenthusiast]

corruption loser!virgin!matt

you've gotten head from plenty of other dudes before, with only fans being your side hustle and all. you weren't completely broke, but not at the best place financially so why not? the money was good, and your partners were fine, it was a win/win. not much else to say about it honestly, they gave you head, made you cum eventually and then video was done and posted. the money came rolling in. simple. until now, until you met the boy your fellow industry friend introduced to you, matt. you learned that only fans wasn't his website of choice, he preferred to use twitter for more anonymity. his page was filled with the dirtiest audios, pictures and videos you could think of. the only thing he didn't post was his face. leaving it up to his viewers imaginations.

for once in your life you were nervous to film with someone, it was something about matt that was different. in a good way though. you still didn't know what he looked like, and you were letting him in your house and filming porn with him. you weren't a virgin but it felt like your first time all over again. the soft knocking took you away from your thoughts, three taps against the door. it was the code you and him made up over the phone while planning to film. you took a deep breath before opening the wide door, you opened your mouth to greet the boy but the words failed to form properly. he was gorgeous, the brunette hair that covered his forehead, the black frames that covered his baby blue eyes, the slight stubble adorning his lower face, the prominent nose that fit his face perfectly and his breathtaking smile, the pearly whites and perfectly straight teeth. with a simple and easy to take off outfit to top it all off. "hi i'm matt" he smiled shyly.

picking your jaw up off the floor you nodded and welcomed him in, returning his kind smile eventually. he followed behind you quietly, you pointed him towards your filming couch ushering him to sit and get comfortable "make yourself at home matt, i'll get the camera and stuff" you began to turn towards your bedroom before getting stopped. "wa-wait" matt cleared his throat. spinning your body around, you raise a brow at the sudden interruption. nerves eating you up inside as you saunter over toward the awkwardly sat boy. "something wrong?"

usually pale cheeks dusting a light pink as he looked down at his interesting nails. he whispered "i-i'm a virgin..i haven't done anything sexual but the stuff on my page, i'm sorry um i don't know why i didn't tell you but i was hoping we could work something out.. maybe i don't know" he ramble-confessed. you fought to keep your emotions in check while he spewed out his secrets, trying to keep your jaw shut as he told you he was a virgin. the dirty image he paints of himself on the internet was a story, he was just insanely good at pretending. you should be upset a little, right? you were here to film some type of porn and your partner had no experience with women at all. you felt the complete opposite, it made your stomach flip actually.

"are you mad.. i''m sorry i can leave and we don't have to-". "NO... no no don't leave" you interrupted. quite obnoxiously but, you couldn't let him leave; couldn't let him stay innocent. you wanted to slowly but surely ruin him, if he lets you. looking up at you through the clear lenses, matt smiles slightly. placing a hand on his shaking thigh you comfort the clearly nervous boy. "it's alright okay, nothing to be ashamed of i still want to film with you and i don't want you to leave" you reassure him, giving soft pats to his thigh. with a hesitant nod matt agrees, but not without once last question. "so um what are we gonna film?"

fiddling nervously with your waistband of your lace panties, you told the innocent looking boy your idea. "i want you to eat me out" you purr, biting down innocently on your plump lip. his eyes met yours with concern, slightly raising his eyebrow. he looked unsure of himself and his ability to fulfill your needs. "oh..um i've only seen it in videos i haven't really tried it before.." he stuttered. you coo at his honesty. it was so cute. "do you want to do something else then?" you ask, praying he would say no. he shook his head instantly, "no no i want to, please, i want to learn a-and be like the other guys you film with"

you were ready to film now. the camera focused, lighting right, angle perfect. matt sat patiently as you prepared everything. "do you want your face in the video?" you questioned, respectfully. "yes... but i want the glasses to stay on if that's alright with you..?" he responded, playing with his fingers. you chuckled at his bold but shy attitude about the situation. "it's gonna be a bit hard to give head with them but we'll make it work"

you slid the remaining fabric down your thighs, giving matt a strip tease out of frame. he blushed at your actions, and tried to be a gentleman and look away but his eyes betrayed him. you smirked and set the timer on the camera to thirty seconds. you laid on the couch on full display, your pretty pussy on display for the camera and matt. he watched in awe as you revealed yourself to him, spreading your legs wide enough for him to squeeze in. he scrambled off the end of the seat to get on his knees for you. he nervously gripped the surface under him as he leaned in closer. you watched his face for any sign of displeasure. sensing none, you smiled. enclosing him in your legs. "can i grab your hair?" you asked just before the timer ran out. still fascinated by your wet folds he nods, "you can do whatever you want to me"

after messing around with his soft hair, you found his sweet spot, and held a nice grip on the locs. with that grip you guided his face closer to your pussy, knowing he needs that push. "show me what you see in the videos hm, but start slow". matt opened his mouth for you, letting his tongue glide over his bottom lip before kitten licking your clit. surprisingly, it usually took a couple tries for men to find it. your grip tightened a little at the sudden coldness. matt looked up at you in confusion, thinking he had done something wrong. "did that hurt?" he wondered out loud.

you sat up and rested on your elbows at the sudden concern coming from him. essentially loosening your hold. "no no, it felt good that's why i pulled, okay? i might do that a lot" his eyes lit up and he smiled at the praise. "really?". "really matt" you smile. "let's get back to it". he agreed and changed his position a little, wrapping a hand around your thigh and resting his other on your bare stomach. just like the videos, you assumed. speaking of videos, you'd have to edit this out of yours.

matt's eyes never left yours as he resumed his actions, but with a new pace. not super fast, but flicking his tongue with a brisk speed. kitten licks abandoned. still focused on your needy bean. a new confidence was gained from your previous praise. a repeated moan of his name fell from your lips with ease. nothing forced, not for the camera, but his tongue was talented, you tugged at his hair with force as he worked on your clit. shamelessly he let out a whine of pleasure, eyes fluttering in pure enjoyment.

the black frames dug into your inner thighs bruisingly as you unconsciously pulled him deeper into you. "now use your fingers to spread my folds, kay?, can't only stay on m' clit" you instruct breathlessly. matt nodded and focused his tongue on your dripping folds. slender fingers giving him full access to all of you. flattening his tongue, he started at your clit and moved down to your hole, giving you a long and slow lick. your taste spreading all over his mouth and tongue. "like that..?" he mumbled, pausing momentarily. you nod immediately, "yes just like that, do that again" you groan.

repeating his previous actions, like you said, he licked every inch of your now sopping pussy. you throw your head back in bliss as he continued to eat you out. you weren't the only one feeling bliss as the couch shook slightly under you as he began to rut his hips against it. your pussy swallowed his moans and whines as they fell from his coated lips. once more itch needed to be scratched for you to even get close to an orgasm. you needed to feel something inside your walls. fingering would be to complex for the already hesitant boy, and his tongue was already there. you pulled his hair to angle him to be looking at you, keeping the eye contact you had matt obediently looked up. "i need a little more, you're gonna use your tongue inside me okay?" you coo, moving the hair from his forehead. "yes please, i need to taste more of you" he pleaded, eager to taste you again.

he glides his tongue around the hole, teasing you unintentionally, nerves getting the best of him. "just go slow, you'll get the hang of it," you reassure. getting over himself, matt began to wiggle his tongue inside your warm walls. the muscle stretched you open with little struggle, the saliva and arousal helping him slide in. "good boy, now start moving in and out" you praise. following your instructions he pulled out almost fully before plunging his tongue back into your warmth. "does it feel good... am i doing it right?" he asked, unsure of your feelings due to your silence. "so good, keep going until i say so alright?"

matt was listening so well, all he wanted to do was please you, and hopefully make you cum. he was still mindlessly fucking you with his tongue and sneakily grinding his boner against the couch. his eyes shut as he got the hang of giving head. "i'm getting close.. ne-need you to play with my clit—" you whine, his mouth was so talented. "with my mouth or fingers" he said, catching his breath. "your mouth— use everything i taught you to make me cum", "yes yes ma'am i'm gonna make you cum" he repeated, adjusting his crooked glasses.

glasses began to fog up from the passion he had for your pussy. he dove right back in once you gave him the signal. your hands never let up on his messy hair. loud slurps echoed with your moans throughout the room. the camera long forgotten about by now, you weren't even thinking about the money this would make you, the bills it would pay, the things you could buy like you usually did. all that filled your mind was the boy between your thighs. your thighs clenched and your stomach tingled as his tongue swirled around your clit, feeling your orgasm running at you.

"you're doing so fucking good, make me cum, i know you can" you groan, back arching perfectly. he whined at the praise, but nodded, eager to hear the high pitched moans that came out of you when you got to that high point. with a few kitten licks and one strong lick you were falling apart all over his face. without warning. the feeling in your stomach reached it's peak. your legs spasmed, hands fell from his tangled locs, jaw went slack from the continuous moans, head shot back as he brought you to a mind-blowing orgasm. your slick cum coated his tongue and lower face. matt lapped up every inch, his mouth never left you. slurping and sucking up every drop of cum that came out of you. milking you dry.

"matt fuck stop" you wince. upon hearing the words top leave your lips he froze, thinking he hurt you or something. his hips stopped thrusting, and he let you go completely. pushing his glasses up on his forehead he gave you puppy eyes. "i-i'm sorry you just tasted so good did i hurt you" he frowned. you pouted at his frantic apologies and concern, he was so perfect and sweet. you weakly smiled, "just sensitive". "oh okay um..did i do good?" he asked, cuddling up with your thigh.

"better than good, you sure it was your first?"

a/n - i left this on a cliffhanger for a reason! don't tell anyone.

[coffee-and-tea-time]

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Out of the menu, still the choice ๋࣭ ⭑

Yandere! Shopkeeper x Willing! Reader

We finally got a winner! *Clap clap* if you want context, you can go here but it's not that necessary we think - the twins

This mf was really more hard to write that I expected but nevertheless we tried to match the energy of the seller pickers so at least it was really fun ngl - Coffee

It took us both a while to draft what we wanted to write for him since he's not a very expressive character and we wanted to try a more subtle approach. If you have any ideas or suggestions for any of them, let us know!! -Tea

Count word: 3.1k (new longest post for now)

Tw: yandere behavior, kind of flirty reader, stalking, kidnaping?, written in you/yours, overall soft yandere, gaslighting, drugging (this really still counts as soft yandere??? believe me, yes), light paranoia, clueless reader

Your eyes scan the papers in your hand, your mind still focused rather on the man that handed you them, sitting right across from him, more specifically, the comment he just murmured. None of the people he mentioned called your attention as much as himself did, perhaps he was more that he presented himself as? He seemed to know much more about you than he’s supposed to, so, was he a yandere as well? And if so, Why miss the chance to tease a potential yandere? 

"Huh, so you think I should go out more often?"

"Well, I'm just concerned about your vitamin D intake, that's all. You need more sun Dear, for the sake of your health"

He smugly smirks at you like he's saying obvious facts that you should already know about yourself… though his smirk falters, his lips pressing into a tight line as he rethinks his words, though it was too late to retract them, it was your time to shine.

"Oh? Then why not help me with that yourself? You seem to keep a good track of my time outside for some reason, care to explain yourself, Honey?"

You steal his previous smirk, it now decorating your lips, curving them upwards smugly as he seems to sink into himself, his pen flipping between his fingers as a nervous fidget, scanning your expression, seemingly trying to understand what you were attempting to do with these witty remarks.

“Dear, allow me to remind you, you came all the way here to have an obsessive partner after you walk out this door, I'm sure anyone in the list will love to fulfill the job, sadly, I'm not one of them, I'm deeply sorry if my previous comments left any space for this misunderstanding"

He seems to lifts up a wall between you and him with his formality as if attempting to keep things formal and cordial though his eyes tell a different story, his eyes, akin to a snake’s narrow slightly, scanning your features as if daring you to continue this charade; a sweet chill runs down your spine, which only widens your smile further.

"Ow, come on, there's no need to lie so blatantly to my face, you know exactly why I'm here, and for that I can also tell exactly what is happening here”

He huffs, his fingers running through his black hair, messing up his slick back hairstyle into something much more fitting to match with his semi-formal attire.

"As I just said, I'm not a yandere, let's stop this little game, Dear, I’m not sure how you arrived at this conclusion, little detective…"

Those gray eyes glare at you without even missing a beat, narrowing further to make a subtle warning: quit fooling around. Do you care? No, honestly, him staring down at you only serves to fuel your burning curiosity about the man.

"Fine then, at least answer me this, how did you know i don't go out much?"

The man scoffs as if the answer was as obvious as looking in a mirror.

"Come on now, you are chronically online, I just made a lucky guess"

… Gotcha

"My screen time is something even weirder for you to know for certain though, don't you think?"

A silence ensues, tension and realization thick in the air as his posture changes completely, from relaxed and smug to tense and anxious, he leans forward, eyes avoiding you suddenly, like he wasn't piercing you with his stare just a few seconds ago.

You let your question linger, knowing you won, knowing he had no way to protest your question seamlessly 

"... don't tell management"

It was now your turn to sigh. Perhaps he was being truthful and this was just a big misunderstanding. Maybe his “background check” on you wasn't something he was supposed to do ethically speaking, but something he felt compelled to do. Then again, they did have this incident with a fool attempting to illegitimately make a yandere harem. Perhaps it was time to let this go, you tried at least, but being overly pushy could get you kicked out and leaving empty handed wasn't something you were willing to do after finally finding the courage to enter the shop.

 "Well, I don't know, I choose Oliver"

You said, the smirk in your lips faltering into a soft defeated smile, shrugging as you chose someone at random, pointing blindly at the papers.

"He's already purchased" 

He counters your response abruptly, his tone still formal yet with an air of defensiveness. You wondered, if he was already purchased, then why show it to you at all?

"Damn, okay, then Lio…"

You quickly point again at a random profile, barely even reading the name then scanning his expression, his head shaking even before you managed to pronounce the name fully.

"Sorry"

He responded with a shrug, his shoulders relaxing as if the tension he felt before was gone.

You smile at him once again, well, thankfully you weren't just flirting with the wrong target.

"You’re doing this on purpose"

You announce, amused by the realization, a smile widening in your lips as one seems to simultaneously tug at the corners of his, a mischievous grin adorning his sly stare, those eyes bearing into yours like a wicked fox.

"You choose me, be loyal to your own decisions… though, really, don't tell management. I do maintain I'm not some sort of obsessed maniac, Dear"

That's the most suspicious thing a person can say in a yandere shop but you take it.

"I care next to nothing about management… so, it's a date?".

(...)

You leave the store, hands empty, but not really. You walk with an extra cheer in your step, you managed to get yourself a date with the seller of the damn shop, not one of the many names in those papers, but the shopkeeper, talk about a plot twist. 

And so you make your way back home, waiting for the time to arrive, the time in which you'd meet up with the man outside of work in a sweet little restaurant down the same street where the shop is located. As you get yourself ready, checking your outfit, double checking…triple checking, your mind drifts to your conversation with the seller and the way everything he said seemed to avoid each and every one of your questions skillfully. You managed to get his number with the excuse of arranging the meeting time and place, yet… that was all, you didn't even get his name, did you?. 

You are brought back to reality with the buzzing of your phone, a notification from an unknown number… though it was the sellers, how did he get your number? Sure, he gave you his, but he shouldn't have a way to contact you yet, that information wasn't even in the paperwork either since you never filled any forms out, you didn't purchase any of the yanderes. 

» “Hey, it's the shopkeeper”

You raised a brow at your screen, watching as the little dots bobbed up and down, indicating he was still typing another message

» “just checking if you're still up for this date you so boldly proposed. My shift is over” 

His texts are a little dry, yet you can feel the awkwardness from them already, he wasn't fooling anybody, he was nervous as hell. 

You quickly type up a response, resuming your teasing over text like you never left the shop and so you text back and forth until the time arrives and you leave your home, walking down the street to the restaurant he sent you the location to. Once you got there, amusement tugged your lips up into a smile. This man, acting so unapproachable, so closed off, was eagerly waiting outside the restaurant with that classic “I'm just looking at my phone” stance, but damn he looked good. 

He wasn't wearing that semi-formal suit from before, but rather a tight black shirt, jeans and a jacket. His hair was down and you had to admit, it looked way better that way. You check the time on your phone, you arrive just in time, you look relieved but can’t help but wonder how the seller managed to close up shop, go back home, change and arrive before you when his last text was just a few minutes ago telling you his shift was over.

“aw, you arrived early to meet me? It’s so cute how eager you are for someone who didn't even tell me his name”

You meet his gaze as you approach him with a playful demeanor, his smile still decorating his face as always.

He huffs, glancing up from his phone, his eyes crinkling in a mischievous grin. He pockets his phone and adjusts his jacket, leaning a little closer as he speaks

“Oh, Dear, you got it all wrong, i just got here, but, i must say…waiting would have been worth it, you look stunning” 

He said with a soft chuckle and you nudged his shoulder in response to his compliment, though as you nudge him you feel how cold his jacket is, of course he didn't wait for you

“Right, anyways, you know, it's only fair that I get your name. I know you so desperately want to seem all mysterious and shit, but i need to know who I'm flirting with”

You tease bluntly with a chuckle, he tenses up a little, looking away for a second, trying to disguise his blush by rolling his eyes at you.

“I suppose you could call me Jade…”

“Well, jade, pleasure to meet you”

You said trying to imitate his tone of voice as he guides the way inside the restaurant.

“Since I answered your question, it's only fair you answer mine, don't you agree?"

His gaze seems like he's taking notes of your every expression as he gently pulls a chair for you to sit on before he sits across from you.

"Are we doing a little bit of banter here? Huh, that's quite the contrary of what you been doing all day, but please, go on, I'm thrilled to know what you wish to know of me"

His eyes move to the menu, although you can say his entire focus was still on you… because of the fact he can't possibly read the menu when it's upside down.

"So, if I may ask… why did you choose to flirt with me when you came to the shop to get yourself a yandere?"

"Why not? You could say I went there to find someone that catches my eye, and jokes on you, my eyes were set on you the moment you opened that door to guide me into the store"

You restrain yourself not to giggle like a fool when the top of his ears turns red while he's attempting to keep his perpetually smiling facade, oblivious to his own reaction to your words.

"Then, do yo-"

His words quickly die on his throat as a waiter gets to your table, you didn't have the time to catch the small twitch of his eyebrows that lasted a second.

"Good evening, I will be your server for the night, what can I get started for you two?"

As you two order normally, you can't help but feel a sense of discomfort as the waiter always speaks focusing his eyes on you, but Jade doesn't seem to react so you dismissed it, you're only feeling weird because of the awkwardness of being on a first date, although you can't help but sigh faintly with relief after the server walks away.

"Well… anyways, since I replied to one of your questions, guess it's my turn!"

You said smiling, trying to brush off the weird feeling you just had, focusing on your task in hand: the date.

“so, why don’t you tell me a little about your hobbies?”

You gaze at him while his head tilts slightly, as if doubting if to reply or just dodge the question like the past ones.

“Well, they differ depending on the time, I’m the type of person that get a new one every once in a while but one that has stuck since high school is embroidery”

Honestly, you can picture it, he does seem like the type of person who enjoys calm classy hobbies, old lady hobbies if you will. The image is sort of endearing. 

"Since high school? Wow, what was your first piece?"

You feel relieved that he seems more open to conversation now that you both are formally on this date. Sadly for you and lucky for him, you focused so much on listening to his answers that you didn't catch the small blush dusting his cheeks.

"...It was a skull, edgy, I know. I really like how it turned out back then though”

“A skull? Very edgy indeed, why-”

Your question was left hanging in the air as an arm interfered with your vision of Jade, the waiter placing your plates on the table with a polite smile. The interjection was a little awkward, but there's not much you can do about it, the waiter is just doing his job.

Though as you lower your voice to a stop, interrupted by the waiter, you see the slight hint of annoyance in Jade’s face flick for a second just to disappear like it never happened, it makes you wonder if that was a hint of jealousy? It probably wasn't… your yandere rotten brain must be seeing things, right?

As you two indulge in conversation, enjoying your little date, you almost lose track of time. It feels like in the blink of an eye, the date was already at its final point, the only thing that popped your bubble was his phone ringing.

"...sorry, it's my boss, allow me to step out real quick, it won't take long I'm sure"

You nod to him before he makes his way to the restroom to pick up the call. Honestly you feel kind of sad that the dinner was reaching its end but well, you can't be that clingy on the first date.

As you ponder between when and where the perfect second date will be or if it's best to wait for him to ask for another, the waiter interrupts your thoughts, placing a glass of what looks like raspberry juice on the table.

"Excuse me sir, I didn't order this"

The waiter gives you a puzzled expression as if it were a competition who is more confused by the situation but is quick to giggle as if it was an inside joke of his before reassuring you.

"Oh, don't worry, it's already been paid”

You didn't have time to ask further questions when the busy server was already on another table that needed him, well, it looks tasty anyways, why reject something when it's free?

You honestly feel like luck is on your side today; you got the confidence to try and flirt with Jade and successfully get yourself a really good date! And you also get a free drink as a way to celebrate your little achievement, so you take a big gulp. 

Huh? Weird, you know the taste of raspberry by heart, why does it taste more bitter? Ugh, the fruit is probably not that fresh , even the consistency feels a little thicker too. Well, raspberry juice is supposed to be like that, perhaps you got too used to store bought and got yourself confused.

"Well, is not like a restaurant would sell 'expired juice' as their main drink, surely I'm just overthinking it" 

You reason with yourself in a whisper as you set the drink aside, ugh, maybe you drank too big of a sip, you start to feel like you got brain freeze or something.

(…)

“Dear, are you feeling well? Do you need to go to the restroom?”

The sound of his relaxed voice quickly fills your ears, your mind feels hazy but you nevertheless try focusing on him as he sits back down to the table, catching his expression changing from the usual laid back grin to a worried frown. You didn't even notice when he came back from his work call, not until he was right in front of you, it's like time passed while your brain was stopped, something wasn't good…

"Did something happen? Do you need a pain-killer? Did the food upset your stomach?"

The rapid fire questions overfill your already overwhelmed mind as his hands hold your shoulders before he places his forehead against yours to check your temperature and although you tried, your currently unstable self only managed to hardly mumble some words.

"I… don't know, I just drank that"

You focus your gaze on the glass of juice and he follows your gaze with a frown as if his laid back mask is cracked.

"the color is slightly off and ice is only floating up to the middle of the glass…"

Was there really something wrong with your drink? What was in there? How bad is it? What's going to happen to you? Was it the waiter? Was there someone in the restaurant you didn't see? Why is this happening today?

"Dear, focus on me, okay? Don't worry, you're fine, just dizzy, I will make sure you are okay, alright? Take a deep breath for me darling" 

Through your dizziness you watch as he moves skillfully and quickly, paying the bill as fast as he could to take you out of there, his arms tightly wrapped around you to steady your wobbly stance, guiding you out of the busy restaurant. It's almost as if you were drunk, which didn't make sense, you felt yourself slipping further out of your senses, sounds muffled and your vision blurry, your legs and hands feeling tingly with each step you took with his assistance. 

"Jade, I-"

"Don't worry Dear, I will take care of you, just trust me, alright?"

You can help but feel grateful that even in this awful situation, you managed to have someone so gentle and caring with you, but before you can try to babble a thank you, you feel your mind shut off like an old tv… don't worry, you are being taken care of, Dear.

He just wants to look after you, it would be so creepy if he left you unconscious at your place since he's not supposed to know your address yet, so, guess the only choice is him letting you crash at his apartment, it's fine, you will find yourself at home there, it's really cozy! 

. . .

Wait, did you really believe him? That's kind of hilarious, try guessing again.

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest and divider by Tea ⚘

[poisonlove]

A macchiato, please | j.o

part 1

I'm finally home, wrapped in the familiar atmosphere only my apartment can provide. Tex, my affectionate German Shepherd, is my sole company at the moment.

"Hello, sweetheart," I whisper gently, bending down to pet his head as his tail wags happily, displaying pure joy.

"I know... you're hungry," I confirm with a resigned sigh, heading to the kitchen. I open a can of dog food and mix it carefully with the kibbles.

"Enjoy your meal!" I add with a shy smile as Tex starts to happily devour his food.

I toss the keys onto the table.

I was so tired that I decided to skip my usual nightly routine and went straight to bed. I fall onto the soft mattress, exhausted from the long day.

As I turn on my phone, the screen greets me with a notification that seems like a dream.

Jennaortega has started following you.

A thrill of excitement rushes through me.

"I can't believe it," I whisper to myself with a small smile, feeling as if I've won the lottery of luck.

Curious to know more about her, I access her profile, smiling at her beautiful close-up picture. Her bright, happy eyes convey an infectious vitality.

"Wow, 40 million followers," I thought incredulously. It was like stepping into a whole new world, filled with enthusiastic followers.

I smile as I see numerous comments filled with love and support for Jenna, carefully observing her latest post: she was inside a car, wearing headphones. An involuntary sigh escapes my lips; her brown eyes seem to gaze at me as if wanting to read my soul. Her slightly parted lips, her perfectly falling bangs... her posture so natural by the window told a story of freedom and carefreeness.

I follow her back.

With shyness and anxiety, I open the chat and look at Jenna Ortega's profile picture. "You can do this... just say hi," I murmur to myself, trying to muster some courage.

Hello, I hope you enjoyed the place I manage to write, my fingers trembling slightly. I send the message, feeling my heart race. I exit the chat, letting the adrenaline rush through my veins.

I wait anxiously, heart in my mouth, hoping for a response.

The minutes seem endless as the chat remains on standby. Then, suddenly, the phone emits a sound, indicating a new incoming message. The lit screen shows the name Jenna Ortega and a short but kind message: Hi! Yes, I really enjoyed the place, the atmosphere was truly cozy. Thanks!

A spontaneous smile spreads across my face. Is there something you're particularly passionate about? I write, hoping to make the conversation deeper and more interesting.

Jenna's response comes quickly: Mmmh... why this random question?

I nervously bite my lower lip. I don't know, I'd love to know something about you that the internet can't tell me I write honestly.

I involuntarily smile as Jenna puts a heart on my message. "In that case... I love art and culture, so I enjoy visiting museums and art galleries. And also nature, taking long walks in parks."

I feel an immediate connection, as I also loved long walks, especially with Tex, my loyal four-legged companion.

I decide to share this detail:

I also love taking long walks, especially with Tex, my German Shepherd. He's my faithful adventure companion!

Jenna seems to like the bond with the four-legged friend, and the conversation continues on this topic. We've found a common ground that makes the conversation more authentic and enjoyable.

How about we have a call? she suddenly asks.

I feel a thrill of excitement at the opportunity to hear her voice and get to know each other better.

I reply: I'd love to.

A few seconds later, Jenna's profile picture, a white light, appears.

I swallow and, sighing, I accept the call.

"Hey!" My voice trembles slightly, nervous.

Jenna softly laughs, making my heart beat uncontrollably.

"Hello," Jenna responds.

I can sense the smile she's wearing.

"How are you?" I ask and close my eyes at such a basic question.

"Good... just a bit tired," she comments shyly, letting out a small yawn.

My eyes glance at the alarm clock next to my bed, seeing that it's only 10:08 PM.

"Maybe... we talk tomorrow?" I ask worriedly, biting my lower lip.

My heart hammers rapidly in my chest.

"No... I enjoy talking to you," she confesses, and my cheeks flush.

I sigh in relief knowing she couldn't see my blush and smile widely, almost feeling a pain in my cheeks.

"Oh, well... I can say the same," I reply.

Jenna gently laughs, making me smile even more.

"Do you have any interviews tomorrow? Or have the recordings already started?" I ask curiously.

"Mmmh," Jenna murmurs, thoughtful, "I think we're meeting with Tim," she says almost hesitantly.

"Right, it's not certain they're shooting here," I murmur almost sadly.

"I have no idea... but it's very likely," she admits weakly.

An not uncomfortable silence envelops us.

"And tell me... you said you'd be meeting. Who's with you?" I ask with curiosity, clutching the sheets out of nervousness.

"Oh... let me think," Jenna murmurs, "I believe it's Percy and Emma," she admits.

"Emma?" I ask excitedly. "Enid?" I ask with a smile on my face.

"Yes..." she laughs softly at my enthusiasm.

"Do you know I ship them in Wednesday ?" I say excitedly. "Enid and wdenesday are so close and adorable!" I exclaim happily.

Jenna bursts into laughter.

"Maybe it'll be canon... who knows," she says in a sing-song tone.

"Come to think of it..." she begins. "Maybe one day I could introduce you to the cast," she proposes, and I open my mouth in surprise.

"You're not joking... really?" I ask, and she gently laughs at my excitement.

"Seriously, let's say it's a way to pay you back for the coffee," she murmurs, yawning.

My excitement grows as I talk about my passions, the books I love to read, and the places I like to visit in the city. But then, I notice Jenna murmuring timidly, almost incomprehensibly, not responding.

"Jenna, everything okay?" I ask worriedly, sensing something off in the air.

"Mmmh," Jenna responds even more timidly, as if wanting to hide something.

"Did you see the new movie talk to me?" I ask absentmindedly, trying to change the subject and lighten the mood. "It was strange... I feel sorry for the guy, his face got messed up... but the ending... wow," I murmur absentmindedly, hoping to liven up the conversation.

I notice Jenna getting quieter and quieter, and worry grows inside me. "Am I... boring you?" I ask uncertainly, fearing I've made the conversation dull or tiresome for her.

"No," Jenna barely manages to respond, her voice weak and tired.

"I like your voice... keep going..." she affirms with a yawn, trying to encourage me to talk, but it's evident that fatigue is taking over.

Confused, I stutter in my thoughts, "What was I saying?" My mind is a bit foggy, and the fear of having bored her grows.

Jenna's steady breath makes me realize she has fallen asleep. I smile tenderly, knowing it's been a long day for her. Unfortunately, it's clear that tiredness has taken the lead, and I realize it's best to let her rest.

I gaze at the ceiling of my room, smiling.

"Goodnight, Jen," I whisper with a small smile, feeling the breath of the girl on the other end.

[terukotime]

You say you don’t like the killer reveal, why? I actually think dev made some great choices and I’d love to talk to you about your perspective.

i don't want to get too deep into it because, like i mentioned in my previous post, i don't want my criticism to come off as negativity towards the series or discourage anyone involved in the production of the show because it's honestly not a huge deal. like, it in no way ruins the show or makes it less enjoyable for me. and i don't think the choice of who the culprit is is a bad one at all, i'm mostly unsatisfied with the way the chapter handles it.

[spoilers beneath the cut, obvi lol. and please remember this is just my opinion. me having and expressing my opinion is not hate towards the series. i'm nervous enough as it is posting just this and not a bigger essay on all my thoughts because i really don't want to have this be misconstrued, nor do i want any criticism i have to give, regardless of how innocent and respectful my intentions, to make drdtdev or anyone who works on the series feel bad.]

i think Ace being the killer DOES make sense. i have no qualms with him being the blackened, in theory. do i think he could've made for a great survivor, or have really interesting growth throughout the coming chapters? yeah! i would have loved for Ace to be kept around for much longer. but him being the killer this chapter isn’t inherently bad. it's now clear that there's a specific direction Ace's character was meant to go in this story and i think that's fine.

my problem is with what *didn't* happen with Ace's character up to this point.

the chapter hasn't concluded yet so there's still a chance for my thoughts to change, though i don't think it'll make much of a difference. but i'm still waiting to see if it can stick the landing. and even if it doesn't, that's okay. i've already accepted it, i'm just still disappointed by it all the same.

Ace, honestly, hasn't played much of an active role in the story. he's been a source of conflict and comedic relief, and that's okay, not every character has to be as important as Xander or David...but he hasn't really gotten to *do* anything. this series is very character-driven, and thus is very focused on the relationships between other characters. Ace has only had one notable relationship (outside of his feud with Nico, but i'm not really including that as a "relationship" for obvious reasons), and that was with Levi. and that didn't even stay positive for very long. and we also know now that Levi didn't even care about him to begin with because he doesn't care about people in general.

not only did Ace never really get to establish any other relationships, no one ever LIKED him. of course a good portion of the fandom likes him, but in the actual story, no one cares about him. no one will miss him. his death is honestly kind of meaningless character-wise. does it serve as a lesson to some of the other characters? sure. but he's going to be dying here with no one ever liking or caring about him.

Min's story wasn't just a cautionary tale. people did like her, people did care about her. she was friends with a lot of characters, she got to have an impact in the daily lives of others. we got to know her better, the things she liked, her deeper thoughts and opinions on things. she got to do stuff, and we got to learn about her. her death meant more to the characters beyond just being the first culprit. she died as a person, not just as a character.

most of the stuff we know about Ace is surface level or things confirmed in Q&As. he doesn't get to contribute much aside from the aforementioned conflict/comedic relief. i understand where the show is going with that idea, and why him not being liked by anyone is a specific part of what led him to murder, but that's not really what irks me. it's that Ace never got to really be a *person.* he's essentially a plot device, serving the greater "good person" theme going on this chapter, and filling in the smaller roles in the story when needed, like an antagonist in a scene or delivering a gag. yes, his admittance to killing Arei and eventual post-trial trauma dump will give him a bit more humanity and character...but that's not really enough.

we only get to see Ace how the other members of the cast see Ace: his loud, combative, aggressive side. the side that makes people think he's nothing more than an angry meathead who can't do anything right. we never got to see much of his other sides, of a much more somber, melancholic Ace. receiving even a hint of the Ace we see in his confession of guilt beforehand would have given him the depth we needed before this point.

to explain what i mean: imagine how unsatisfying it would have been if we never got to actually see Arei's breakdown in the playground. if Teruko had left before it happened, and we only get to learn what happened from a flashback from David's perspective. we already feel the weight and tragedy of Arei's death when her body is discovered because we knew beforehand why she behaved the way she did, how she never even liked being the way she is, and wishing she could be a good person like Eden. if we didn't get to see that happen beforehand, Arei's death would feel very flat and detached. her character growth would've happened entirely retroactively.

that's how i feel with Ace. it's not like he didn’t get enough spotlight this chapter, he certainly did. but every scene he was in really didn't really add anything new to him. the only thing that "progressed" with him was his hatred and paranoia. we just see him descend with no uplifting moments, no emotional hook to make us feel anything for him. the closest we get is the scene where he's arguing with Nico and Veronika at lunch, ranting about how poorly everyone thinks of him and that they all assume that he's for some reason happy to be the way he is. but it's really the barest of scrapes towards the deeper layers of his character.

a big problem is that there were a lot of chances for his character to actively be *explored*, but instead, the narrative perspective of him stays completely stagnant. the time we get with him this chapter doesn't give him any greater focus. and sure, you could say that that might be a big giveaway to him being the culprit, but i think if the time between character spotlight is distributed evenly, that would be easily circumvented. there was a lot more time that could've been spent building Ace's character beyond his animosity and self-loathing tendencies. we could have had someone actually attempting to bond with him, even if it doesn't turn out well. even if all the characters distrust each other to varying degrees, there's still a lot of characters that like each other or have unique bonds with each other that make them stand out and feel worth remembering, because those bonds contribute something to their characters. but with Ace? he truly gets the short end of the stick, because this isn't just the characters neglecting him, it's the story itself. if Ace got to have a moment like Arei, maybe someone to confide in, even if he wasn't really friends with them or liked them at all, him being vulnerable just once and having a moment with someone else would have rooted him in more as a person who fell victim to what the killing game wanted from him and not just a fictional character fulfilling the purpose required of them in the story.

honestly, it's a bit of a slap in the face, the way the show goes about it. because in hindsight, Ace's whole character is *meant* to be wasted potential. after all, his related phrase on Mai's bio page is "a girl who had a bright future".

he was set up to have the potential to change, the potential to add more to the story, the potential to show us more than what we were given. and i think the show kind of knows that and specifically perpetuates that. the scene where Teruko tells Levi to give up on trying to apologize to Ace almost reads as the show itself telling you to give up on Ace. that, why should we care about him? he's not going to amount to what we want from him. there's no use in investing our feelings in him.

whether or not any of that actually was intentionally doesn't matter, unfortunately, because rewatching so many scenes having this new context really makes it all seem like Despair Time doesn't want you to care about Ace. that Ace is meant to be a waste, that that's the core of his character. him being the epitome of wasted potential could have been great, actually, if they chose to use even a slight bit of that potential to build him up more before his inevitable demise. instead we watch him eat shit throughout the entire show thus far only for him to get royally fucked at the very end in the worst way possible. Ace's theme of wasted potential is only wasted potential because nothing is ever done with him. not actively, anyways. whatever his post-trial confessional is like won't really give us what we needed from the start. Ace didn't just deserve better in his life. he deserves better as a fictional character. he deserved to be a person and not *just* a character. he deserved to have deeper, emotional character moments outside of the trial, long before his murder confession and rapidly approaching demise. he deserved to be 3-dimensional.

again, this is all just my personal opinion, and there's still a chance the show can stick the landing and make Ace as the culprit feel a lot more natural and deserved. i'm not really confident in that happening, but drdt is full of surprises as well as a lot of great writing. that being said, even though i believe they kinda fumbled the bag with Ace here, i don't hate this turn of events. although he's a big favorite of mine, i still wanted Eden to be innocent over him, because she's also a great character and her killing Arei would not only be pretty huge character assassination, but would also make Arei's death meaningless. and i also think there were other characters who could have been better candidates as the chapter 2 killer (not just Hu, i think Levi, Arturo, and maybe even J also could've made for compelling culprits with the right reasons).

i'm content with this. i'm heartbroken he's going so early and i wish the execution of his guilt had been a lot better, but overall it's not terrible. he just deserved so much more in many different ways.

[thatfreshi]

Little Stars and Such (Astarion x Reader)

It's here, the piercing fic, in which body-modded Tav gives Astarion hella piercings. I made a previous post with his piercing map in case you guys don't know the terms (I basically didn't until yesterday)

Tw - needles, implied sex

Recommended Song: Gregg's Woods - Alec Holowka

For the past couple of days, Astarion has been asking quite a few questions about your piercings. You had adorned your nose and face in tiny pieces of metal, all done by hand. Your little collection has grown over time, most recently with an eyebrow piercing once you settled down in Baldur's Gate once again.

"Do they hurt?"

"Like, when you pierce them? Yeah. You get used to it though. Surprised you don't have any honestly, elves are known for having the most elaborate piercings."

He stays silent for a moment, and you realize he wouldn't know that.

"Wasn't exactly a thing Cazador just let us do. Body modifications were mostly limited to demonic scars and being cut up for fun."

"Right... sorry."

"Don't be."

The conversation ended pretty abruptly, but picked up the next day while you were swapping out your nose ring.

"Do you ever get scared that your little ring will get caught on something and rip out of your nose?"

A sudden question, but a welcome one.

"I mean, sometimes, but not many people are that close to my nose. Unless you're planning on ripping out my piercing?"

You eye him suspiciously and he smirks.

"Oh, I would never."

This goes on for days, little prodding questions about all your accessories. One morning, while the two of you are lying in bed, you catch him staring at the helix on your ear.

"Astarion do you... do you want a piercing? Because I can do them. I mean I did these to myself."

"I've been thinking about it. I'm just a little nervous is all."

"Why my love?"

"I mean, I've never really had the freedom to do what I want with my body, in a lot of ways. That's one of those things I never got to explore, all the body modifications people are oh so familiar with. I suppose I could've done one with an embroidery needle if I was desperate, but that's just not something I had the liberty to think about."

You move a strand of hair out of his eyes.

"Well, you have the freedom to do whatever you want now."

"Then perhaps I'd like a couple."

"A couple? You don't wanna start with one?"

"Nonsense! One would be sad and pathetic, and we know I am a man of extravagance."

"Alright, if you insist."

You then grab a notebook sitting on the bedside table, and begin to draw out a plan for his piercings. Astarion insists that he only wants them on his ears, because he doesn't want anything to ruin his perfect face. As you're sketching, you continue to talk.

"You know this is gonna suck, right? Since your ears are so sensitive?"

"Sensitive? What makes you say that."

You blankly stare at him until he gives up.

"Okay fine, but I'm sure it can't be that bad!"

"I don't know. I mean I'm going to stab multiple holes through your ears. You barely like them being touched."

"I've been through enough pain. Nothing compares to jagged cuts in your back, I promise."

There are many moments like that, where he says something tragic that you just can't bring yourself to argue with. Without another word, he curls up against you, and the two of you discuss the options he has. Eventually, you settle on five on each side, because he INSISTED they be symmetrical.

"Tav, what kind of idiot would I look like if I had one ear with a bunch of shit on it, and one just, empty?"

"I guess you're not wrong."

He decides on two helixes, two lobe piercings, and a daith. You're a little surprised that he's going all out on this, but you don't mind. Everyone has that thing that lets them feel free, the thing they finally do to show the world 'I'm my own person.' Besides, if he didn't like them he could simply let them heal back up, forget this ever happened.

You go to grab your little makeshift piercing kit, full of fine needles you've collected over time, just in case you ever lose some.

"Now, you'll have to wear some of mine since you don't have your own earrings yet, but I'm sure you won't mind because my collection is amazing."

He sits up in bed, his shirt sleeve softly draping off his shoulder. If he could still be in the sun, you'd imagine a beam of light coming through the window right now, illuminating his face. You sit beside him, gently placing the box of needles by your feet.

"Alright, I'm gonna walk you through this as I do it, and if you want to stop at any time we can."

"Thank you my love."

The thought crosses your mind, that he'd probably not let any other soul on the planet do this kind of thing. Any time he's let someone else have control over his body, it's been riddled with sin and scars. But you? You've always been kind, soft, present. That's one thing he loves most about you, that he feels like he can be present. Not drifting off somewhere else, not closing off his mind to defend himself, not playing a chess match in his head. It's, easy. Life is easy now, and isn't that something wonderful?

"Alright, we're gonna start on the lobe. You feel the needle?"

You hold it lightly against his ear, and he shivers a little.

"Mhm."

"Alright, don't tense, but it's gonna hurt."

You hear the air escape through his teeth as the needle goes through. A pretty clean job if you do say so yourself.

"Well?"

You put in a dangling gold moon, waiting to see how he feels.

"Painful, but not horrible."

"Want to go again?'

"Of course."

He says it a little suggestively, and you give him a playful push.

"Save it for later imp."

You continue with his piercings, taking small breaks in between for conversation. You've continued adorning his ears with astral-themed jewelry, little stars and such. By the time you've finished the last one, you're quite pleased with your work. Astarion almost doesn't let you put the last earring in since he's so excited to see what you've done. He had Gale teach him mirror image a while ago, so he could finally see his reflection whenever he wanted. After casting it and giving his ears a look, he smiles.

Astarion laughs at your comment, giving one of those genuine smiles you used to rarely see. You silently curse the people that took that smile from him, wondering how anyone could see this specimen and torment him. He's like a pixie, a little trickster, someone you could pick up and hold forever. You know you're probably the only one who sees him that way, the only one who would call him cute, but he is. He enjoys it, being viewed as something that isn't devious or sexual, but a bright presence. You told him once how it's ironic that he can't be in the sun, because he was probably sunnier than the sun itself. He'd never let you tell anyone else that though.

"I... I think I quite like them."

"I do too. It's fitting."

You plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Worth the pain?"

"Most things are my love. Like you."

His hand meets your face, taking you into a deep kiss. When you break away, you whisper in his ear.

"I think they make you sexier too."

A chuckle under his breath, lips meeting again, and the morning is soon wasted away in bed. What a joy, to wake up every day with him, with someone living their life anew. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Neither of you know, but it's exciting none-the-less.

[lightofraye]

Hi there!

First, thank you for being understanding that these replies may take time! I appreciate a follower/fan that is kind and respectful!

Second, to respond! Doing it in pieces to respond to each section you've said.

I wanted to weigh in on this anon's ask. But, I will preface this by saying I don’t know Jared or Gen, or Danneel or Jensen personally at all, so it’s pure speculation based off of observation.

Understood. Honestly that's all any of us can really say, unless we did know them. I speculate, you speculate, everyone speculates.

There are some guys (and gals or whoever, but I especially notice with guys), who meet someone and that’s it. They are in, hook, line and sinker. The are head over heels for their partner. Jared strikes me as one of those guys. He’s said himself that he’s not necessarily big on mushy words and things like that, which I think accounts for some of the coupley pics that Gen posts of them coming off a tad awkward. But he’s seemed settled ever since he got married, talking up being married and always mentioning Gen showing up as the best time on SPN for him (I also understsnd that this is any easy answer to give, so why not stick with it).

Oh yes. There are some people who are done, as it were, once they're married. That's it, that's their person, and no need to look elsewhere. They're loyal to a fault, loving, and dedicated. You're right, Jared strikes me as the type.

Also, I heard a rumor once that some people he worked with (I wanna say SPN cast or crew, or handlers) called Jared "very loyal," and almost kind of insinuated that he, unlike others, doesn’t mess around on his partner. In almost a condescending way. But, certainly don’t take my word on that because I can’t remember where I heard it. He also vibes as super uninterested in person (sexually, not indifferent as a person), almost like he views all fans as nice, momentary friends and that’s it. He gives no vibe of … availability. And granted, he’d be dumb to project interest on fans of all people, but it’s just a feeling I get from him (I’ve had some photo ops and meet & greets with him).

Oh how interesting! I think you're right. He may be friendly with fans, funny if the shares on Twitter are any indication, but I've never heard of him going beyond that. He maintains those boundaries, even if fans don't (I'm reminded of an op, I believe, being canceled because a fan had the audacity to grab his ass!).

I won’t belabor this point, but in contrast, Jensen vibes totally different than Jared. First, even early into his marriage, he’s made "jokes" about not liking being married. And there was that blind item about he and Danneel swinging or something. Danneel also has more cuddly chemistry with his friend Steve than Jensen. I would bet on it that Jensen and Danneel aren’t "loyal" to each other, but I think it’s more likely they have an open marriage than it being cut-and-dried cheating.

Unfortunately, yes... Jensen's never come across as someone madly in love with Danneel. In the early interviews, pre-marriage, he'd just gloss over "Yeah, we're together, been a year" and change the subject. Or one interview... hang on, let me get it.

Where when he's asked about marriage, he looked nervous and uninterested. Even though he'd been with Danneel for two and a half years by then. Most men will know they're going to marry someone within months of dating. Two and a half years and he still isn't sure? Oh boy.

As for the swinging... wow. I never heard of that one. I do remember that guy who tweeted about an orgy, got hit by Danneel to shut up or be sued, and he hastily removed the tweet. (Way to validate the claim, Danneel!)

As for Danneel and Steve, yep. They're far more like a couple than Danneel ever appeared to be with Jensen. Though I hear (from my industry expert) that it may be over between Steve and Danneel, which may be why she wanted to move far, far away. Steve probably got fed up with being the side piece instead of the main interest. But since we know Danneel won't give up Jensen's fortune without a fight....

Jensen also has a certain vibe of availability, again not to fangirls, but he seems more open on an attraction level. I don’t know how better to explain it, and again it’s just the vibes I get, so I’m not trying to say I "know" anything but just a feeling. Like, I find both J2 very attractive, and I find them funny, I even like Jared slightly more, but they literally feel different to me in person.

I think I get what you mean by vibes. I do hope, if he is having flings and one night stands, that Jensen isn't aiming for the easily available fans who are probably more than willing to have that opportunity. Is he actually having affairs? I heard of one rumor during one Bacchus event that he possibly had a one night stand with a girl there.

If he is... I can't judge him. As I mentioned, finding comfort in the quicksilver rush of an affair... sometimes that's all anyone can get in Hollywood. (And we know what kind of wife Danneel is--I doubt Jensen even seeks comfort in her arms.)

I’m going to stop now because I've veered off course and and starting to sound silly. I also get that these people are actors, so the vibe they give off could be manufactured, anyway. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to respond (if you do).

Hey, rambling is okay! That's the title of my blog! I ramble too!

Truth. We can only speculate on vibes. I had a mutual who attended a con recently and she said Jensen came across as very reserved, shy even, and uncomfortable with being in the spotlight. That was one con. Other cons, we heard of him being warm and friendly with fans, even going as far as to joking with them.

We're all very different day to day. There may be an underlying true pattern, but even shy people have times when they're comfortable in their skin to talk to others openly. Even flirty.

I appreciate your insight very much!

Thanks for the ask!

(Note to followers/fans: I do have asks on. Not anon asks. If you want your identity kept secret, ask and it's done. I only share names of those who are rude as they violated the right to respect and secrecy.

I also hope to get around to all the other asks! Life is busy!)

[tadc-harlequin-au]

Honestly I'm eighteen and even I was too nervous to look at the post (I only turned eighteen a few months ago and still don't feel like an adult), I have no idea how some people have that kind of audacity. Sorry you've been having to put up with people like that :/

EXACTLY ANON. I WAS IN THE EXACT SAME SPOT AS YOU ONCE

The transition from a teen to adult can be especially jarring and this is something that teens typically don't understand because it hasn't happened yet, but lemme tell ya it hits ya real hard.

the thought of "holy shit. I'm an actual adult now" can never really hit UNLESS you've hit both the highs and lows of what it means to be an adult.

The highs? a more broader experience and more freedom in what you want. The lows? Oh god, all the problems. Physically. Mentally. Psychologically. FINANCIALLY. All the fucking problems that being an adult comes with. And the world expects you to simply shoulder this burden like Atlas holding the world and live with it because "that's what being an adult is!"

For me personally, being 18 means technically not fully an adult, but you are preparing to transition into being one. To try and get used to the way of living as someone that is of that age. Hence why it starts at eighTEEN. So DON'T be afraid to just simply take it in, and let the thought settle until you know you're comfy. Don't rush it, life may be short but it's not THAT short.

You've got a lot of time in your hands to let your brain process this, and use that time effectively. Slow and steady wins the race, amirite lads

[thelittleangel]

Blind Date

tags: Castiel x male reader, fluff, angst, male reader,

warnings: possible OOC, angst, reference to past relationships that weren't great, reader gets stood up.

taglist:@agroovygoose @pumpkinhead666 @waywardseraph @wraith-posts

Part 2

When I agreed to do this, I didn't think there’d be this much waiting.  I thought he would have been here by now.  But sitting at the restaurant for thirty minutes seemed to me like he wasn’t coming.  

I made a deal with myself to wait another ten minutes and if he didn’t show up, I was going home.

Another five minutes, I sat, tearing up napkins.  

Three minutes pass.

“Screw it.” I mutter.

I grab my coat, dropping 5 bucks on the table.

On my way to the door, I bump into someone.  Turning to say “excuse me.”, my eyes meet with a familiar shade of blue.

“Hello.” 

“Hey, Cas.  What are you doing here?”

“Dean asked me to pick something up.  What are you doing here?”

“Nothing anymore.”

His lips shape into a frown.  “What’s nothing?”

“One of my friends set me up on a blind date.”

“How did it go?”

I breathe out a heavy sigh. “It didn’t.”

“He didn't show up?”

I shake my head.  He looks at me with what I guess is pity, and then back at the tables.  

“I’m sorry.”

I smile at him and shake my head.  “Don't be, it's not your fault.”

“May I sit with you?”

I look at him in confusion.  “Aren’t you picking something up for Dean?”

He smiles gently at me, “it can wait.”

I smile back at him, “Pie?”

He nods. “Pie.”

He gestures to the table I was just sitting at.  I look at the table and then back at him, “you sure?”

He nods.

I walk to the table, setting my stuff down.  He sits across from me.  We just watch each other awkwardly.  I don’t know what to say to him and I doubt he knows what to say to me.  I look down at my hands.  

“Why do you go on these dates?”

I breathe out a sigh.  “I honestly don’t know anymore.  I never have any luck, and when I do hit it off with someone, they never contact me again.  And I don't know if it's me or if it's just….”

We sit in silence for a moment, and I lean back into my seat, wallowing in sadness and self-pity.

“Can you look at me for a second?’

I look up at him, sure that I’m going to get some kind of stern expression and aggressive words to stop with the pity party.  And I know he wouldn’t do something like that, but it’s just a common occurrence that I've learned to expect from everybody.  But no, his expression is kind, his eyes are gentle.

“Even if you don’t can’t find someone who will love you right away, please don’t give up hope.  There are still people out there who care about you.”  

“I don’t really have a lot of people in my life, Cas.”

“You have Dean, and Sam, and you have me.  You have your friends.  Your family.  You’re not alone.”

“It feels like I am sometimes.”

“Because no one’s interested in you romantically.”

“Yes.” 

“How do you know that’s the case?”

“Because they never make an attempt to contact me after the first date, so I'm just left to wonder what I did wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.  You just haven’t found the right person.”

I look down at my hands again.  He covers them with his own.  I look up at him again.  There’s sympathy there.  

I squeeze his hand and then let go.  I grab my stuff and head out.  

As I'm walking to my car, I hear footsteps behind me.  I turn and I see Cas.  

I force a smile onto my face.  “Hey Cas.  What’s up?”

He looks nervous.  I unlock my car and open the door.

“Before you left, I wanted to give you something.”

“What is it?”

He shifts his weight from one foot to the other.  “It’s a surprise.  I’m going to have to ask you to do something strange.”

I can feel my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.  “Like what?”  

He looks away.  “I need you to close your eyes.”

“Are you sure you can’t just tell me?”

He looks back up at me, his expression serious.  “I’m sure.”

I sigh, closing my eyes.

I hear a shift, like he’s moving, maybe adjusting his coat.  He takes a step.  

I shift from one foot to the other.  Waiting. 

I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I jump from the sudden and unexpected touch.  “Cas, what are you-”

His hand moves to my face, his thumb brushing my eyelashes gently.

He takes a step closer.

I feel his lips brush mine.

My eyes open wide, and I take a step back, but I realize it's all for nothing, because there’s no one in front of me.

[epickiya722]

I know ppl wanna be kind and all that shit but i will 100% support any bkdk shipper if they wanna be petty, esp to an ass like that.

Y'all know I'm all for good times and vibes, but I also have limits and I do agree with you, Anon.

I fully believe that if there is a time to be petty, do it. Especially, when it is obvious the person attacking you.

I feel like if these antis keep getting this kind of reaction, you know that petty treatment, then maybe they'll get to the point of stop being complete assholes.

The nerve to even thrown in the "I'm just stating facts" is honestly so ridiculous because OP of the post wasn't even wrong.

Izuku was indeed blushing. Katsuki is not a girl.

So what exactly did that anti think they were going to accomplish besides be another example of how annoying and irritating they are?

Could have easily made their own post with the proper tags, but no. They indeed, on purpose, chose to invade a space they were not welcomed in.

"I don't mean to be condescending." Yes, you did. You meant it and you buckled down when you got called out as you should be. You should feel bad about doing that and maybe you'll learn not to do it again.

That person even started off with "Hey, man, I think you turned off the comments. 🤔"

Why is that important? Because you wanted to bombard on OP's post.

Wanted to be all "logical" by showing an example of Izuku having a "full face of a blush and that's romantic" because Ochako got in his face.

Uh... no. That isn't a romantic blush either. That's him being nervous and sheepish because a girl got close to him. Izuku reacted like that before with other girls, so I guess all those times like him having Mei's boobs in his face is "romantic".

Maybe a stretch, so OP @socalledsomethingorother feel free to correct me, but I think the point of that BkDk is that antis will constantly throw out "Izuku isn't gay" because he blushes around girls (out of being anxious mind you) just to hate on BkDk and the time he does blush at the end of the series? It's not only towards a MALE character but towards KATSUKI BAKUGOU.

Of course, that may have flew right over that anti's head and went on to prove so. And with a meme drawing image, by the way.

"I'm fine with other's opinions." No, you're not.

"If this is for fun---" Then why did you take the route that you did? They had to feel called out or offended or something! (How smart it is to reveal yourself like that!)

"I just wanted to prove it wasn't factual!" But why? Over a ship? Did I already use the word "ridiculous"?

They wanted a fight, that's what they wanted. They wanted a fight and they felt salty.

Anti-BkDks are always pulling some bullshit like that and I, for one, think BkDks should be petty when it comes to people like that.

For years, I have seen BkDks get blamed for this and that, get hate messages, have to tell antis to properly tag their posts and stay out their space. Tried to be nice and people are still assholes. Limits, folks, and a lot of people have crossed them.

So, yes, if a BkDk is petty towards an ass, I don't hate it.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Chapter One

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

We begin chapter one with a blueberry jasmine tea!

I will say that tomorrow I probably wont be posting a chapter. My mom and sister are visiting my partner and I for the holidays tonight and staying until Sunday afternoon, so I likely won't be able to read until Sunday.

Anyways, send good luck my way because we are likely going to play a vicious game of monopoly.

Let's go chapter 1!!

okay, my assumptions going in was that this was a very serious series about tough trials and hardships but here we are starting this chapter with XIe Lian taking "first place on the chart of Heavenly Officials Most Hoped to be Banished Down to the Mortal Realm". This is kind of camp. is this the series energy??? p23

omg they literally made the chart for him p24

RIP that bell. had a good run. pp24-25

I can't lol. this poor guy. If things are there that shouldn't be- Xie Lian's fault. If there are things missing that should be there- also Xie LIan's fault. How does a single guy cause so much damage? p25

Okay this is an open question to anyone. I am confused about this merit system. I totally understand that gods get merits based on worships/offerings/beliefs/temples whatever. What I do not understand is how a god gets points from a martial god kicking his ass? p26

This is so real. Bro forgot the password p27

not them placing bets on how long he'll last this time. This is so funny p27

these deities are so rude to him! He's just trying to apologize and they are so condescending. I love an underdog though so I'm rooting for this man. p29

Oh shit okay. I take back my previous contempt. This was the guy hit by the bell. p29

aaaaand we have the added salt that these two know each other previously. Xuan Zhen/Mu Qing being from Xianle Palace as well. pp30-31

Bless Ling Wen for keeping this man in check. Honestly best Heavenly Handler p32

Jesus. It's as though Xie Lian is in a room talking to all his exes. This is so awkward! Nan Yang/Feng Xin also being from Xianle Palace p33

Why am I so nervous about Xie Lian going on this mission??? Bro has 0 power, 0 respect, and attracts bad luck like nobody's business. p38

omg. even the clouds are against this man; causing a three day delay in his travels for blowing him the wrong way basically. Truly the god of misfortune. p39

Well. At least he has some help now? Nan Feng and Fu Yao. Also I am curious about the butterflies? Do we find out more? Is it a heavenly official thing? because if it is, that's cute. pp41-42

The name change from Lower Court to Middle Court is so funny to me. This is some pure bureaucratic drama, like 10/10 would see this in an office. Honestly this realm would make such a solid office/workplace au. pp42-43

Oop. Nothing like your support being from the palaces that absolutely hate you. p43

Well at least they are both here as "willing" volunteers and their generals don't know they are actually there. I do however sense some shenanigans due to this pp43-45

Oh Wait! This mission sounds so rad! A bride eating monster?!?!?!? I can't wait p45

Strong start!

I already have so many questions that I am going to assume will be answered somewhere between now and the other seven books BUT I am so ready. We already got a workplace drama, an exciting mission, and this adorably useless little man trying his best. I cannot wait for chapter two!

[spock-smokes-weed]

I wanna talk about about the big issue that's going on in the dan and phil fandom rn because I've been sitting on my thoughts for a few days, and because I think it's important for us as a community to keep talking about it.

Dan and Phil mean a lot to me, they've been a real bright spot for me in a very dark time in my life, so it did give me a major spike of anxiety when I started seeing discussions of racist behavior coming from Dan and the Phandom. My first instinct was to just brush it off because what people were upset about didn't seem that "serious", and it's a bad habit of my mine to try to bury things that give me anxiety. But like a pulsing sore, my mind couldn't let me ignore it and I kept going back into the tags to read what people were saying. And I realized I was doing the exact thing that a lot of POC and Latin American fans were criticizing.

I'm not POC or Latin American, and comments like the ones Dan made (idk if there are anymore but to my understanding he called mexico and brazil third world countries in WAD, and titled a really old video "I'm Mexican Now" back when he used to tan himself) don't hit a sore spot for me like it would other people. It's a lot easier for me to say "oh that's tasteless" and let it roll off my back. But this is personal for a lot of other fans, and I never want to be that kind of person that goes "well it didn't hurt ME, why can't YOU let it go." no matter how much I like Dan and Phil.

And I think that's gets a the core for what a lot of fans are upset over (at least from what I've observed, feel free to tell me if I'm off the mark.) Dan's comments made them feel like a person they really admired doesn't hold the same kind of respect for them. It made me really sad reading about how isolated POC feel in fandom because when microaggressions come up, they're expected to suck it up. And that's so unbelievably shitty that we are making fellow fans feel this way. I've seen time and again POC people have to leave fandoms, or never join them to begin with, because the environment is so hostile towards them. And that's really a shame, because fandom has been such a positive aspect of my life, and it want it to be that way for everyone.

And what Dan did is just one part of it, the other part is us, the phandom. People who speak up about this, or the fact that DnP's tour has zero shows in Latin America, Asia, or Africa ("world tour" lmao) have been getting racist harassment from other fans. They're framed as "trying to cancel" DnP, or "making a fuss over nothing". That is completely unacceptable, and if we really want to be this positive community, we have to push back on this behavior when we see it. That includes when it's coming from Dan and Phil.

I honestly don't think Dan was being malicious in what he said, nor do I think DnP were intending to exclude people by not taking the tour to the global south, but that it's really not the point. It's about the fans that feel excluded and hurt. Dan and Phil are both human beings, they are not "unproblematic kings", and they will always fail to meet your standards when you paint them that way. It's causing real people harm when you deny that they can do no wrong. Dan and Phil are very meaningful to me as artists, and I know it can feel personal when you find out someone you admire did something wrong, but sometimes you have to step back and remember that this isn't about you. And it's not a healthy approach to take any criticism of something you like as a personal attack.

Contrapoints once said something that really stuck with me, and it's how I'd like to be living my life, which is that often, admitting when you were wrong can seen as a weakness, when in reality it's an incredible strength. I was wrong with my initial gut reaction over this, and Dan was wrong for what he said, and I think all people want is to hear him say that.

I felt a little nervous writing this post because I don't want to be speaking over anyone, or speaking for anyone, (and if you're a POC and want to elaborate please go ahead), but it felt wrong not saying anything because of how much Dan and Phil mean to me. I don't exactly see myself a part of the "phandom", and I only post about them when they upload, but they are very meaningful artists to me. I want other people to keep discovering Dan and Phil and enjoying their art, but for that to happen we need to be candid about where they've fallen short.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Watching the Show Fanfic FMAB

@anastasian-dreamer suggested writing a big rambling post about the FMAB watches the future Au to get it off my chest and for me to offer people to send asks. You want a scene/me to explain how i’d handle something? Send it it!

 So how would this go?

First the background: 

First: Edward is a trans man. He's known from childhood. We dont have transphobia in Amestris or in this world. Envy is genderfluid and Father is literal shadows in a human form. Gender makes zero sense to them and they don't allow bigotry they'd be affected by.

 We’re going to give them testosterone but Ed isn't on it because 1) he doesn't want to take it while Al is in the armour (and that is a frequent discussion) and 2) he's not sure if he wants to. He's a fairly androgynous person and he is small chested. He’s one of the lucky assholes who have very light periods (Winry hates him for it) and its alright. He doesn't want to take it also because a part of him wants kids and he’s nervous it will lower his chances. He also knows adoption is still there so he is a bit torn. I honestly just want to explore this concept.

Second: this is also a soulmate AU. I'm thinking there are multiple types of soulmates: paternal/child, platonic, romantic and enemies. 

 Now, you're born with the paternal ones (and the parent gets their when the child is born) but the others happen later. You are five when you get your platonic and romantic; then you’re ten when you get the enemy one.

 Ed and Al are both born with a red salamander on their shoulders and the flamel Izumi has on her chest. I've read a few ‘your own mark is on your chest’ so we’re going with that. These marks tend to be something that can define you. Edward has the alchemy sign for human on his chest and Al has the helmet of his armour. 

 Hohenheim tries not to let it play on his mind. 

When they turn five, Edward gets a sword and the ouroboros on his arm, while Al gets a kunai. 

 The boys both get a silver gear which is Winry for platonic to. (how can they tell? Vibes. Literal vibes)

 When they're ten, Ed is so confused why they get more ouroboros marks. But he's busy with the transmutation. So big deal. We all know how that ends.

 But Ed also is surprised when he gets a mark when he’s eleven.

( “It kind of looks like the head of a long-haired dog?” 

 “It does. Weird.”)

Ling gets the sign for human and the ouroboros. As well he gains a silver blade for a friend (Lan Fan), the child mark of a long haired dog, and the enemy tattoos of ouroboros along with some family. (he also gains the panda friend mark of the heiress to the Chang family) 

 Greed has a sword and the sign for human, along with markings for all his Chimera buddies and the long haired dog for a child. 

Three: Roy starts off being very nervous about the kids. He sees Al and knows its his soul son. He would keep it quiet if he didn't know that his soulmate Maes would spill the beans. He tells the boys. Edward is so angry that of course it's his fuck up that defines his brother. 

 Roy and Ed keep the antagonism but it’s just their thing. They're like that. Al gets to have a cat that stays with Roy. 

 Also: three way bonds like Roy, Hughes and Gracia aren't uncommon. However due to the need for alchemists in the East Roy is based there. He has a house and makes trips bi weekly to see his soulmates. They also make trips bi weekly so they basically see each other each week.

Four: Various countries have different views on Soulmateds. Amestris believes that while there is a bond its a choice in the end. You don’t need to marry/befriend/whatever your bond is. While about 90% of the time it does happen, there's then 10% everyone knows. 

 Xing fully believes in them and soulmarks are a great honour. There's been a few times clans will join together as an heir will find their partner in another, making an iron clad bond. Soul children are precious and enemies are the utmost awfulness. 

Five: I’m tossing in a few OCs. One is named Amelia Cross. My original story for her is she is the brother’s elder sister from Hohenheim having a one night stand years ago. Theres a whole plot. But for here she's simply the Alchemist that helped make the soldiers into human chimeras before she quit the military. (and was let go because she did human transmutation)

 The other is Amelia’s soul daughter Elaine who is a chimera herself and Ishvalan. Its a whole thing. 

Lets go to the start.

 Now: I think this story would start right after Tucker makes Nina into a Chimera but before the boys see her. 

 And I kinda want to keep to my theme of ‘ah yes everyone sees it’ cause I can. How does this happen? Alchemy. A bunch of stones (some dropped by Hohenheim, some in the ground from Father) bonded together. An alchemist in the region was doing human transmutation to bring back their wife, the stones hijacked it (the alchemist lost their heart) and Truth went: you know why not. (does it make sense? No but I'm keeping it)

 So everyone in the world is watching now. And we don't start with the brothers.

 We start with Slave 23, speaking to the dwarf in the flask. We follow him as he walks to Xing, as he walks the world. We follow him to Trisha and the boys. We see him put pieces together and realize what happened to Xerxes will happen again. Of course we don't actually know YET. As far as anyone can tell he found signs of the Dwarf and went hunting.

 There's also the drama of Ling seeing the marks on Ed and Mei also seeing hers on Al. And like every other reaction to. (the Homunculi are fucking baffled that this kid somehow got a mark for one of them. Hohenheim is freaking out)

 We watch as he leaves. Then we cut to the boys fighting the Freezing Alchemist. 

Now 2003 FMA is really good at the build up so i'll probably borrow from them but I like the freezer beginning. So that's going on. And of course we learn Roy is the parental soulmate, and its all cute…

 And then we learn of the Taboo.

 I 100% think Bradley makes a bullshit claim he knew and decided since a CHILD was willing to join the military and all their trauma he let it slide. Its on the radio.

 Its all ‘aww poor little meow meows’ kind of stuff. Ed and Al hate it, go to Tucker and FUCK NINA?

 Course since Ed’s child mark is shown he claims its destiny. Ed kicks his ass, and then Nina gets to go to grandpa Roy’s place while Amelia gets contacted by one of the soldiers who is a chimera. 

 Which side note: when that happens on screen Ling is busy discussing how to murder Tucker with Lan Fan and Fu (and his clan cause that is their heir’s daughter) while Greed and the others are heading to kick some ass. 

But after the freezing alchemist we get more flashbacks to the boys in the first few years of military, and then so on.

Themes of the story: 

 -A theme there is the discussion of family. I really want the idea of family to play a huge part in this because Al and Ed’s story revolves around their relationship. So a lot of focus is on this. But also I would explore rejecting family. 

 Greed rejects his ‘siblings’. The boys reject Hohenheim because he isn't a bad person but he sure is a bad father (and yes he is. I saw one post defending it but lets be real, abandoning your family is abandoning them no matter what.) Ling rejects some of his siblings. 

 Family is important but it’s family of choice that matters. You can choose your family and many choose their blood family but they also reject it.

 -Romance is the next theme, and exploring what its like to have romantic soulmates. Like I really want some drama since Edward has been raised knowing he doesn't need to be with his romantics mixed with Greed ‘its all mine’ and Ling ‘destiny bound us’. Like they choose to be together of course but its a thing. 

 We have the themes of FMA though included.

Other notes:

 -I do know Ed keeps alchemy and both his automail parts. Not sure how but he does.

 -Mei throws herself into finding out how to free her soulmate. 

 -Mei and Xao Mei both arrive with Ling due to the alliance and that they are platonics.

 -I want to keep Ling being possessed but also I think Father actually is weirdly interested in the soul bond? I think his attempts at being perfect isn't just about like being a god but also being better then humans. And here is a being he's made having a soulmate. Two in fact. And a soul child! He's very invested. So he somehow has it that they can share the bond like they do in canon? I dunno. I'd need to work on it. 

 -Amelia is killed by Scar and it sparks a large subplot because her romantic is actually Kimblee. She visits him every year on his birthday and he's allowed out to her funeral where Elaine is. Amelia and Elaine had a falling out after some stuff but Elaine is pretty messed up. Elaine is also Kimblee’s soul child. Also Elaine is Winry’s romantic soulmate. Its a mess. 

 -I kinda think Ling having Ed as his soulmate puts him right at the top for heirs because ‘ah son of the Sage’ kind of thing mixed in with ‘the other soulmate is immortal’

 -Mrs. Bradley is actually in the know because Pride has her mark as a friend and Wrath couldn't lie to her. They never told Father until after the reveal of Greed’s soulmates but yeah she got told early on. She is subtly talking them away from the plans but it's slow going. (I kinda would want to set up Wrath in Greed’s place as a sacrifice)

[svtjinny]

JUYEON :: GAME CATERERS x SVT | 01

[editors captions] | speaking | english , but she only speaks it once and it's clarified there warning: food mentions, use of a razor is mentioned [if i forgot anything don't hesitate to lmk and i'll add it here] for context, during the filming of game caterers she was blonde. she dyed her hair again soon after.

ep 1-1

the first time you see jinny in the episode is when the camera turns to hoshi, mingyu & jinny squatting during s.coups's intro

then again you can see the three

jinny : do well, leader coups!

the camera cuts to jinny yelling during mingyus intro

finally its jinny's part!! they played hot

[ Finally, the 14th member ]

[ The second blonde in SEVENTEEN ]

[ The older ones are her fanboys ]

jinny starts dancing to the post chorus, up until the end of her part (end of chorus)

[ (Jinny) (Vocal Team) (Youngest) ]

[ (Designated cook of SEVENTEEN) ]

[ (Always a Social Butterfly) ]

everyone was shouting during her part as always.. and she was just dancing there and giggling

jinny's last part in the intro is during the super dance bit where they cut to her dancing

theres a small scene of her while they're standing

jinny : i'm already tired and it's only the first time.. how will we perform this...?

she starts laughing when seungkwan is trying to introduce the show

jinny : our seungkwannie works too hard, can you tell? while looking at the staff sitting down LMAO

when they're going to sit she walks in after dino & sits with him, next to joshua

[ (Golden Kids sit together) ]

when s.coups says he doesn't have any friends sitting around him, jinny leans back in her seat and looks towards him

jinny : you'll start rumors with that kind of talk..

during seungcheol's interview she looks at him at the "curious meerkats" part

jinny : [turns to chan] you know, i've been wondering why you've been so moody lately~ while he was explaining why he and seungkwan fought

when joshua picked up his water bottle she moved away so fast

jinny : i was scared he was actually gonna do it :(

[ (Has to keep her guard up) ]

after jun explained while he was so quiet during hybe picnic, the camera cut to jinny looking at him and then a couple of videos of her interacting with EVERYONE at the picnic :sob:

[ Unlike Jinny, who was ready to greet everyone~ ]

when jun said they weren't normal she laughed

jinny : wow, junnie.. i thought you loved us?

that was her last scene in 1-1

ep 1-2

jinny's first part in 1-2 was her agreeing woozi never leaves home

jinny : i always have to drag him out...he's like a vampire

[ Youngest in charge of getting her brothers to sunlight? ]

seungkwan : [seungkwans interview part // after hoshi, before the na pd coupon bit] after the show, jinny told me "you could do better at hosting, honestly"

[ M COUNTDOWN Host Jinny giving feedback ]

the camera cut to jinny laughing at what he said

jinny : i was teasing him~ in all seriousness, i was proud of seungkwan-oppa for being able to host in the show in front of all the groups even though he was nervous

jinny : ["dino, which razor did you use today?" // while they were laughing] he used gillette~ i watched him earlier

[ (16 year best friend can confirm for us) ]

finally it's jinny's turn!

na pd : jinny.. ah, there you are. nice to see you again.

[ Finally, the last member Jinny ]

[ Jinny was the extrovert of Game Caterers x HYBE! ]

na pd : when we looked at the comments of the videos with you before, CARATs were saying you were so friendly with every group there because you were already friends with them. is that true?

jinny : partly, yes! i've either worked with them all on choreo or songs or i knew them from being an MC. but, i am just naturally friendly.. i think i would've felt a little awkward if i just sat there like my members.

[ Youngest is the extrovert of the group ^^ ]

dino : i can back that up! jinny was the one who asked to be friends when we first met..

dokyeom : i remember when we began training as a group, jinny would go out of her way to talk to everyone

jinny : she got flustered :( i wanted to get to know the people i would be stuck in a group with.. you guys are much different now though..

[ (Jinny, is that good or bad?) ]

her bit was her last part in 1-2 !

ep 1-3

this time she sits between seungkwan & seungcheol [ 1:32 : she sits between kwan & hoshi | 14:49 : she sits between cheol & hoshi | 18:30 & 18:49 : she sits between to wonwoo & joshua | 20:35 : she's second in line, next to wonwoo ]

they changed seats so many times.. so if you wanna know where she sits when they move, refer to this LMAO

jinny : ["the game is over food"] food? i think i'll be good at this.. then she giggled

[ (SEVENTEEN's Food Know-It-All) ]

the camera went to her agreeing and laughing when seungcheol said they only listen to the minority in arguments

jinny : [when everyone began yelling over acorn jelly] you see, this is how we settle arguments...shouting

the camera cuts to her being zoned out until cheol gets his question wrong

jinny : [to cheol] yah, why are you sitting there? you're not good at games..

jinny : [ when mingyu moves // to seungkwan ] i think we were all just nervous, kwannie, cut him some slack

cue cheol hitting her leg right after that bc of what she said to him before LMAO

[ (Jinny was the only one to get a question right last year) ]

[ Perks of being an MC? ]

jinny : ["i don't think i'll get it" - wonwoo] i'm sure you'll do fine, oppa. i think it's a lot more nerve-wracking when it's almost your turn. she pats his shoulder while speaking

wonwoo gets his question right :proud: it's jinny's turn now !!!

[ (Next is Jinny, master at the character quiz) ]

the camera zooms in on her concentrating; her person was taeyeon & ofc she got it right !!!! that's mother

jinny : [she puts her head in her lap then brings it back up] wow, i was so scared it would be someone i didn't know..

mingyu : but who don't you know?? [some members start to laugh]

seungkwan : right right, that's what i was going to say!

[ Her members disagree with her for once ]

[ (Let's keep this in mind next time SEVENTEEN visits) ]

jinny : [when joshua got his 'cramp'] she looks at the camera while smiling and then turns to joshua playing along and saying are you okay?

that's it for 1-3 !!

ep 1-4

jinny's first scene was when they reached shua hoshi n cheol on the quiz

[ Urgh/Performance Team leader/Knows everyone/Leader]

her next part is after dino gets mimi

her person was irene (rv) please she was so relieved

jinny got down to the floor and bowed bc they gave her such an easy question :sob:

[ (Thankful for getting someone who she admires) ]

[ (Jinny is the REVELUV president!) ]

jinny : [to hoshi] it's okay~ it can't be that bad...horanghae!

[ (Encouragement) ]

and then the camera turns to staff going "aww".. she gained some fans that day

she moved to the middle between wonwoo and hansol

jinny : you got it wrong? amazing [eng.]

and some of the members started mimicking her "amazing"

[ The two peaks: Jinny and Vernon ]

[ (It's Jinny's turn) ]

her character was wonyoung !!! got it right obvi

[ (Jang Wonyoung, who she's made songs for) ]

[ Even helped with her debut ] + they played a snippet of eleven

jinny : i don't have any faith in us winning the kimchi, but at least i got all my questions right!

they all starting shouting when she said that and she just laughed LMAO

[ (The one who's usually loud watching chaos surround her) ]

skip to when they were eating gyu's cake; she was standing next to joshua (around 23:40)

the camera was zoomed in and you could see shua holding jinny's chin and feeding her a piece

[ (Taking good care of their sister) ]

and that's all! part one was so chaotic but yk i had to end it on a cute note

from xia ! : ermm i got too lazy to change the bold

[differenteagletragedy]

would you be ever so kind as to spare some OL2 headcanons or crumbs 🤲🤲

If you don’t wanna write for OL2 then OLBA is just as amazing!!!!!!

Hi! I will eventually write for OL2 I'm sure, but I haven't gotten through the demo yet! Right now I'm at the beginning of the first day of school -- I keep getting pulled back into the first one because it has such a chokehold on me lol.

But I was writing these for OLBA so I'll put them here! Thank you!!!

-- Do you like trashy reality shows? Good for you. Cove's not really into it, but he'll watch with you if you want him to. Derek can definitely have some fun with it. But Baxter turns into a monster.

MC answering their phone: Hey, what's up?

Baxter: DID YOU SEE, *this person* from *this show* got arrested.

MC: Aren't you supposed to be working?

Baxter: I saved the mug shot to my photos, I am sending it to you via text right now.

(Client in the background complaining)

Baxter: I do have to get off the phone now, but if you hear anything else call the office and tell them it's an emergency, they'll put you through to me.

-- If you go the Derek romance route, I think you make out once in high school. Because hormones, you've crushed on each other for years, and like it just happens. And then after he's very unwell, he keeps apologizing, and either your really shy and nervous about it or like "no it's ok, that was nice," but either way he's like "HAVE TO GO, TTYL." He doesn't talk to you for a little bit but then feels bad.

MC: Derek, I like you in a romantic way. I want you to be my boyfriend. I liked kissing you and I want to kiss you again.

Derek: Haha that was crazy, so how's school going?

-- Derek is good with cars. Big muscles make car go vroom.

Like there would have been a time when you got a flat tire and you either didn't know how to change it or blanked on what Cliff told you (Cliff taught you how to change a tire, no questions) and called him like "help" and he dropped everything and drove to wherever you were to change it for you.

-- He's also good with mechanical fixes, and just with his hands in general. Is your sink messed up? Call Derek. Some issue with your stove? Call Derek. Creaky door? You already know. (You have to do stuff for him too though, that's the rules).

-- Back to Cliff though, you know those videos of men like "I'm going to teach you some dad stuff" for people who grew up without dads? That's Cliff. Obviously your moms are amazing, but Daddy Cliff is going to step in too sometimes.

-- Cliff teaching MC how to tie a tie, just imagine.

-- Baxter goes home alone after Miranda's birthday party/the second party for him and finishes off that bottle of champagne because he knows that summer's almost over and he's going to do A Bad Thing and he hates himself.

-- Honestly it hurt my feelings so much at the end of Step 3 lol, like I was genuinely taken aback by his goodbye scene. Asking MC why they'd keep talking when he couldn't give them rides anymore like that's all they were interested in, the audacity.

-- Cove has the whole game, he's gonna be ok, we're talking about other people this time.

-- In adulthood, MC looks back at that time they learned their birth parents died when they were a baby, had a quick breakdown then went back home and did a musical performance for their family as one of the cringiest moments of their life (I'm not using second person this time because I don't want to sound judgey but LOL come on). They'll tell Derek about it later on when they're together and he'll be like "aww, that sounds sweet," and Baxter will be nice about it too, but he'll also have some comments to make.

Baxter: Darling, my plant at the office seems to be dying, could you perhaps do a song and dance number to ease my pain?

MC: Shut uuuuuup.

-- Last week gb patch made a post on Patreon with a new sketch for OLNF with wedding planner Baxter, so like the oldest Baxter we'll see in cannon, and he was wearing a cream turtleneck, a purple overcoat, and what looked to me to be a peach colored gingham suit. So by the time he gets to be like 40, his fashion sense is going to be off the rails. He's going to call you and be like "I just went shopping, I hope you like my new look," and come home like: