#honestly idk what im doing anymore
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saw this on twitter and then I heard someone wanting cacao in this so I just drew it
And then I saw people on twitter and tiktok yapping about four armed cacao and drew these.
And then people started comparing him to lord garmadon 😭😭
Anyways I like the idea of it
inspo: https://x.com/riverart__/status/1805637966167003293?s=46
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cr kingdom#crk#dark cacao kingdom#dark cacao crk#dark cacao cookie#dark cacao#artwork#art#artists on tumblr#silly art#honestly idk what im doing anymore#might make more#tbh i think it would be funny if they were friends#might draw more of them or smth#i might remake some of my art#cookie run fanart#crk fanart#crk fandom#crk art#oh yeah i have a crk/ninjago oc I might post#my art#my artwork
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i hate that you have to work for things. you mean to tell me i have to /practice/ if i want to successfully the guitar and blow every musician out of the water? PRACTICE???? but thats so much work and i simply want to just do it /now/ wihtout having to work for it
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atp i genuinely doooon’t care if the old guard two is the worst thing put to film i just want to see the best character of all time (andromache the scythian) and her loser henchmen and everyone’s favorite girl nile freeman again
#its not even funny anymore WHERE IS ANDY AND NORIKO!!!!!!!!!!! it was supposed to be the year of dyke drama 😞😞😞😞😞😞#like given the way they structured the first movie the second would have to be almost wholly original and differ a lot from the comic#like andy cant go thru the shit noriko puts her thru so im guessing the script would switch her out with nile getting tossed in the ocean#but that doesnt really work with norikos comic characterization (trying to get andy to see her point by making her go thru what noriko did#isnt something quynh will gaf about if andy isnt one of the immortals. andys become thr ‘vermin’ noriko hates!!!)#and given the end of the movie everyones chill with copley so joe and nickys whole subplot cant exist anymore…. idk maybe theyll switch out#copley with moose?? idc as long as we get their stupid car conversation tbh makes me laugh#honestly given the changes that would have to be made they probably just made a stupid movie and don’t want to release it. but I DONT CAREEE#its not exactly like the first one was that good i still mute it in preparation for every cringe needle drop like its a lame movie but its#genuineeeeee fun like i seriously do not care netflix give me my movie!!!#the old guard
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#not to complain ab the same stuff i always complain ab#but my artblock is soooo bad . its so bad and frustrating and limiting and demotivating#because instead of being able to draw whatever whenever i feel like im chained to random bursts of inspiration#that i cant manifest just by willing it so yk. and imlike why…#so many ppl who draw whether for their job or for their hobby seem to be able to do it whenever#and its like yeah i could put pen to paper rn but theres such a mental disconnect that its not enjoyable anymore#dude its so whateverr😭😭 like its so made up and ik its just a psychological thing but it feels so physically .Hard#rrrgwgqq#like i try to maintain the habit by drawing stuff out even w no end in mind#but that also stresses me out bc its likeIDKK idk#silly tbh#seeing all of this art arnd me all the time > online and stuff is so nice and inpsiring#and it makes me want to do that too but i legitcannot . like i am being squished by a boulder and my hands are chained to 30lb weights#whatfreakign ever dude .like whateverrr#i want to grind my brain 2 a pulp . honestly🙌#like what do u mean u cant u literally just do it.but im the one exception to that
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Stuff that I wont finish and doodles that arent worth posting on instagram. Enjoy these tumblr i love tumblr
#i literally can post whatever I want and i dont feel anxious about it#i love sharing my art even if its unfinished ans i dont like it#i cant bring myself to finish anything recently by thr way. im awfully art blocked#i literally think everything i make recently is so bad and i struggle with the simplest drawings. idk what to do anymore honestly#but i had fun drawing these things today#not to mention like other 30 sketches i made today that are just outright BAD and i hate them
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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as the tumblr's resident snuffy expert I have to ask you what you think snuffy and lorenzo's actual legal relationship is (like did he take on the role of his guardian or is he technically more of a sponsor) and furthermore what you think their dynamic is like behind the scenes. like even if you accept the idea that snuffy is more of a father figure to lorenzo than an employer there's no way that this guy who was a homeless orphan until he was a teenager and the man who took him in *on the basis that he be athletically successful* have like. a normal unremarkable parent-child dynamic
Thanks for the question, sorry about the yapping
I'm torn on how to answer the legal relationship question. To me, it depends on how old you think Lorenzo is during the flashback. I always thought he was around 15-16, so I rarely consider an option where Snuffy isn't his legal guardian. However I could see some PIFA fuckery involved to avoid any legal trouble in the case he didn't have a legal guardian involved before becoming an adult legally.
Even then the process for getting gold teeth takes more than one day (all the visits you need to get your teeth properly checked for the procedure, the healing process takes months and more visits, etc) and he was near death so I'd like to think he was taken care/supervised of by Snuffy during that time (which is why Lorenzo's so attached to him). (the amount of care is up to interpretation bc it's hc territory anyway)
After that, when Lorenzo started playing football, *then* it's more of a sponsor/employer/advisor?/mentor? situation that occasionally bleeds into guardian-adopteé territory but never completely. I think they had something similar to how Ray Dark ended up dropping Kaiser at the BM dorms, except I think Snuffy directly had a hand in training/teaching Lorenzo before and still kept somewhat in contact during. I also like to think he got him a tutor or something, but this is more so I can sleep well at night. Snuffy IS the "what will you do when football's no longer an option" guy anyway so it's not unrealistic.
I need to add somewhere in this post that I believe/know in my heart that Snuffy picking up Lorenzo happened a bit after Mick died (months, maybe a year max) and specifically because of it. Comparing dead Mick & almost dying Lorenzo was super common when ch. 229 came out so I won't elaborate much on it, I just wanted to mention it.
Dynamics wise... There's too much going on for them to be in a normal boss and employee situation, Snuffy isn't fazed by Lorenzo's antics at all, Lorenzo goes up to Barou* to convince him to succeed Snuffy while also bringing up Snuffy's promise to Mick and also just everything about Lorenzo's reaction to Snuffy going back on his retirement, he literally told Barou he loved him & offered him a gold tooth. I don't think he says that to anyone yknow
*and by the way this interaction always stands out to me, since the timeline of events is not clear at all. all bc the fucking blue lock building is built like a prison and idk what time it is. I think Snuffy&Barou´s conversation happened at least some hours or a day after the Ubers introduction bit. During Lorenzo's backstory dump they're wearing pajamas but then Snuffy tells them it's time to train, so I assume it's the morning after that. Anyway I wonder if Snuffy just told him about it or if he directly asked him to talk to Barou. I feel like it's the former (given their reactions to Barou accepting Snuffy's deal) but the setup kinda makes it feel like the latter. whatever it was I think it's evidence for me to say that Snuffy trusts Lorenzo.
And I feel like there's nothing direct I can point to to say they're close enough to have a regular parent and child relationship. Still I feel like just by having Lorenzo be a NG11 and the fact that he enjoys football and doesn't scream cry and throw up when he loses or when he is inconvenienced (THE BAR IS ON HELL) makes me think Snuffy is mostly a positive influence on him. I like to think Snuffy does care a lot about him but he's the type of guy that shows it by meddling (kinda like Reo or younger Sae (who wasn't much of a meddler iirc. this makes sense in my mind)) and just isn't that visibly affectionate with anyone anymore.
More about the father and son thing. This is also headcanon territory I'm sorry. I don't think they, like, go out fishing as a bonding thing or anything like that. but I do think they don't go a week w/out talking bc I think Snuffy's a bit neurotic about how the people he cares about are doing because of reasons and Lorenzo loves talking people's ears off about everything and nothing. I think Lorenzo tried giving him an expensive gift with one of his first paychecks and mentioned "paying back his debt bit by bit" as a joke that wasn't really a joke and Snuffy's face twisted & he said something along the lines of Lorenzo not owing him anything and it was awkward between them for a while after that. I think its fucking WEIRD but they care abt each other and that's what matters
TL;DR: I think there had to be a point where Snuffy was his legal guardian or at least acted like it to some degree. In regards to their dynamic behind the scenes, that is not a father that is a grieving tutor-guardian-mentor-advisor-employer-professional football player and his renowned domesticated possum employee/adopteé who is soooooooo normal about worth.
#You said once that Barou is like Snuffy's cat who fucks up his furniture#& on that note Lorenzo's the weird mutt he rescued when he was a little too old to be taken adoption centre & now he's#really good at flyball (but it's kind of concerning given that he was picked up on the idea that he'd do flyball but I guess he likes#flyball now but also im kind of concerned about his thought process regarding worth and flyball scores and how it affects his interactions#with other dogs but he seems fine he's just kind of weird but its okay)#i dont want to overuse dog parallels but he literally barked. he also meowed but that was in one translation so idk#anddd i think echariie said something once abt lorenzo trying to pay back snuffy for all he did for him but i think he's no longer trying t#do so. but i do fully believe he used to and had his. in blue lock terms. awakening when he realized this is a sports for freaks#and brother. he is world class in freakery.#i just fucking say shit. one of u should take me out (kill)#lorenzos value thing is what makes me squint at snuffy a little honestly but its like. yeah sure#whatever i burnt all my braincells off typing this i literally havent eaten or blinked writing this.#commitment and a bit of mental illness methinks#txt#oh my fucking god this is so longgggggg#also . i thought abt this just now im an idiot but lorenzos def so happy bc now he's moving on to u25 probably and might get called for#the next world cup so was he excited abt playing on the same team as snuffy? fuck off#fuck offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff#they make me ILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL#i dont want to look at this post anymore get out of my drafts
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any chances ppl would be allowed to bind ahb for personal use ??
hiya!!
at the moment, and for the foreseeable future i am saying no. just because there are copies of ahb! circulating around SEVERAL websites and vendors being sold for oodles and oodles of dollars. despite my requests for the sellers to stop.
i have had people (etsy vendors) in the past lie to me and say they've made "too many personal handbound copies and are only selling those extra ones" which ,,, was obviously a lie. also they were getting the copies through lulu and selling them just btw.
i have also had people tell me that they are binding them and selling them to others for personal use but not making profit off of them even though they're selling art heist for over $100 a book. so. yeah. another lie
so, sorry! but yeah!! there's not much i can do about people actually listening to me and respecting my wishes etc etc and lord knows they don't, but i would super appreciate it if we kept ahb! an ao3 exclusive for now!
it just makes me feel slightly better to put more rules and boundaries in place! though it's never stopped people in this fandom from bulldozing right through those anyway :/
#asks#art heist baby!#and sometimes i feel like the wrong people get the short end of the stick#bc the people who will listen to me wouldn't sell my fic on etsy anyway#but the one's selling my fic give less than 2 shits if i ask them not to bind it...#but idk. idk what to do about this anymore. honestly#im tired of filling out copyright requests and proof-of-ownership forms etc and going through customer service reps#just for ahb! to pop up somewhere else for sale the next day#like it takes HOURS. of my time to do that. and a lot of my limited energy.#so im truly at a loss w what to do#but anyway sorry you didn't ask for that long-ass rant !! i vented a bit for sure
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HEYY, I MIGHT BE MORE ACTIVE AGAIN RAHHH🔥🔥💯💯💯
ANYWAYS HERE ARE SOME STUPID DOODLES AND SOME BONUS ONES THAT ARE NOT ZAK STORM RELATED (RARE FOOTAGE)
These 2 give so much siblings vibes
CARAMBA DOODLES BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND ALSO HIM SKATEBOARDING ON SOME RANDOM ASS 3D SHAPE AND ALSO HIM SUMMONING 7 TRUCKS🔥🔥🔥
And Zak burning cereal :3
NOW THIS IS RARE FOOTAGE BUT I ALSO DREW SMALL DOODLES OF THE IRIS FROM GHE AND JUPITER AND SATURN FROM SOLARBALLS RAHHH (I don't fw with solarballs iris tbh😞)
AND ANOTHER BONUS WHICH IS ONE OF MY OCS, PERSEUS🔥🔥
With raimondi above and a random ass cat
ITS NOT MUCH BUT SINCE EXAM SEASON IS ALMOST OVER I WILL DRAW MORE (JUST GOTTA MAKE IT THROUGH THOSE 4-5 WEEKS🔥🔥🔥)
HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! XPP
#zak storm#caramba#idk if i should tag solarballs and ghe into this since its js 2 doodles#dude school drama is so wild#idk if the fact drawing caramba everytime is just weird or its js the silliness in me🔥🔥#also my laptop broke apart because of a screw now bro is not working anymore#womp womp ngl#holy shit my maths notebook is literally falling apart#well all notebooks are#i almost failed my german exam too if it werent for that one point which gave me a D atleast#but hey atleast i passed#german sucks ass and so does math#I do infact NOT fw with german exams🔥🔥#im so cooked in math but its the last exam so i just gotta make it through💯💯#honestly idk whats in me to draw these dumbass doodles😭🙏#now what am i going to do with a broken ahh laptop#maths when i catch you maths#still remembering the fact that the teachers and my classmates are beefing with eachother#idk what to tag anymore so i'll stop here with my yapping#ignore the fact that i cant draw trucks at all
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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode
#crow.txt#the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god#can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done#be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else#i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later#i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now#what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today#including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus#like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted#and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn#its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care#but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either#bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual#and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just#walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was#guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm
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Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.
And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...
And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!
I shall simply write fanfic about it.
#speculation nation#pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died#and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What#but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman#and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state#but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it#thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.
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doing one of those card thingies (idk what to call them 🤷♀️) except it me using my “all my favorite characters are friends/ a friend group” 😋 (they probably fight 24/7)
Edit: IM CANT I FORGOT PITAYA DRAGON HEP 😔😔
#idgaf if its out of character ngl#so anyways I reached maxed tags on last post w#dark cacao cookie#regretevator pest#lord garmadon#cruel king#dr two brains#monkie kid sun wukong#zane julien#red son#regretevator bive#lmk macaque#cookie run kingdom#ninjago#lego monkie kid#regretevator#word girl#honestly idk what im doing anymore#im going to make more of garmadon getting in a car crash sooner or later if you wana give ideas im free 😁
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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An unknown boy under the pseudonym "Sombra" appears at the docks, surprising everyone, reaching the finalists.
Will he destroy his opponent's winning streak, and at the same time his pride?
#idk what im doing anymore but heyyyyy Deuz art#and he's angry >:(#fnafhs#fred fnafhs#(en espíritu)#fnafhs deuz#fhs#fhsz3r0#anyone wanna talk about Fred and Deuz relationship (not romantic)? i think i have thoughts#anyone wanna talk abt anything fhs related honestly
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me writing my Joe fic after being soooo tired from work:
#i have noooo idea what im writing honestly#i feel like im in a trance#idk anything anymore#all i know is that Joe is getting a massage from the reader#idkk#im so exhausted idk if i should be doing this rn#joseph quinn x reader#joseph quinn fanfics#moondustpugh rants
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i hate that the sims has stupid limited time in game events with exclusive reward items whyyyy cant i just play when i want. why cant you just release the items for free without having to meet certain requirements in the game!! or even as a pack to buy honestly!!! but this limited time shit fucking sucks!!!!!
#does anyone know if theres somewhere to download it or some other way to get it idk. im fucking tired#like is someone reuploading this shit somewhere. please say yes#remember when you bought a game and it had everything in it .#& like ik the sims has always had expansion packs. & honestly i dont even mind it that much but the fact that theyre now doing this shit#ON TOP OF THE PACKS. i hate it so much#also just the fact that like. why do i need their stupid fucking ea games program to play the game.#the only thing i should need to play the game is the fucking game .#do u know how pissed i was to get the PHYSICAL COPY of ts4 only to find out i STILL HAD TO DOWNLOAD ORIGIN TO ACTUALLY INSTALL & PLAY IT#so like oh ok if that ever goes down what i just lose the whole fucking game?? even though i HAVE THE CD?????#WHICH IT SHOULD BE PLAYABLE FROM. IF I HAVE THAT THATS ALL I SHOULD FUCKING NEED#i hate this shit i hate it so fucking much why is this NORMAL NOW#if anyone knows if there is ANY way to break this fucking game so i dont have to use the fucking ea games shit PLEASE let me know i dont#even care anymore i just want to OWN THE GAME THAT I FUCKING BOUGHT
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