#honestly i love popping in here to make posts and disappearing

[frozenhi-chews]

Redraw of my old persona Valor. Hey, now you can actually see that SHE DOESNT HAVE A NOSE

[jason-todd-rh]

Masterlist 12

It's been a while (4 years to be exact) since i have done a masterlist but I wanted to do one. Here is the link to the other ones. My organization for each post is random. Also some didn't have names so i just did a short name (sorry in advance). There isn't a specifc order to them and these are just some i liked from the last year-ish.

As a reminder, make sure to follow these blogs :)

Series "Birds of a Feather" (part 1) (part 2) by @zyhkoo "Guard Dog" (part 1) (part 2) by @mostly-imagines "Shower Surprise" (part 1) (part 2) (part 3) by @twilight-orchid "Learning to Love Slowly" by @to-the-stars8 (honestly one of my favorites 10/10 recommend)

Jealous/Protective Jason (love me this category) "Don't Tell Jason" by @siddyyyyyyyy "Who are your boyfriend" by @prongsx

Fluff "Moonstruck" by @mostly-imagines "Favors in exchange for kisses" by @prongsx "Scenes from an afternoon odyssey" by @mostly-imagines "MIA" by @indulgentdaydream "Hungry?" by @montagoves "How He Shows He Loves You" by @mistymisfit "Amnesia and Flustered Jason" by @sanguineterrain "Eat Your Heart Patrick Swayze" by @kitkatscabinet "Physical Touch" by @luv4jason "Bluetooth j.t" by @cipheress-to-k-pop "Falling Asleep for the 1st time" by @patchiko "Hiding Nightmares" by @stararch4ngelqueen "Perfect Match" by @msfantasy-comics "SFW Fluff Alphabet" by @kimberly-spirits13 "Late Night Bouquet" by @killxz "We Got Love" by @makethatelevenrings "For the hell of it" by @lambsouvlaki "As long as you're with me" by @maivolpe "Shelter in the Rain"

Angst/Angst-ish "Don't Go Disappearing on Me" by @rambling-at-midnight "So This is Love" by @mostly-imagines "Not hot enough" by @writeriguess "Kidnapped" by @sanguineterrain "Where Are You" by @millyhelp "Ghosts of Gotham" by @sexsylexi "Domestic Betrayal" by @yourlocalcringydaydreamer "The Arkham Knight" by @mostly-imagines "Never Let Me Go" by @froggibus "Misunderstandings" by @sanguineterrain "Broken Heart of Gold" by @jasntodds "Be with You" by @chaotic-birds "Text me when you get home" by @sanguineterrain "Puzzle Pieces" by @makethatelevenrings "O Me! O Life" by @makethatelevenrings

NSFW "Jason Birthday fic" by @spidernuggets "Trying to get s/o's attention" by @gay-dorito-dust "First Time" by @igotanidea "Doesn't Always Have to be So Black and White" by @hanasnx "Lazy Morning" by @k2ntoss "Soft" by @stararch4ngelqueen "Don't make me cover your mouth" by @patheticbabie "Shower's on" by @icameheretoreadstuff "For the Hell of it" by @lambsouvlaki "NSWF Alphabet" by @sunlight-wing

[fluffyartbl0g]

Redraw of the panels that SHATTERED MY HEART o(；△；)o!!! OG panels + Opinions on the Luffy separation arc under read more

Okay let me just go on a tangent about my feelings about the post-series Luffy separation arc, cause I think it gets way too much hate when it’s such a heartbreaking and well executed deviation from oda’s standard formula!!! I know that we all love monkey d. luffy and he’s LITERALLY the main character of the series, but it was also really nice to get more time to focus on the rest of the crew. But here’s the thing, even when Luffy wasn’t here, he was still here. And I’m not talking about the so called ‘blessings’ or whatever that kept SUSPICIOUSLY popping up around the crew when Luffy disappeared, I’m talking about the consequences that arised from him disappearing. We truly got to see how grand the effect luffy has had on the world around him, and how many lives he was able to touch ; - ; So even though luffy physically wasn’t present (I mean KIND OF but you know what I mean), this was still VERY MUCH a luffy arc imo. 

Oh man but I think Oda wrote luffy’s disappearance so well,,, I was sobbing for like 80 percent of this arc. Like just gradually seeing the crew’s deterioration as time passes by,,, but everyone has such unwavering faith in their captain, he HAS to come back cause Luffy always comes back. But here’s the thing, Luffy didn’t know what was happening to him when he started disappearing. But what he DID know is that he wasn’t sure if he was gonna be able to come back or not. And Luffy hates breaking promises- he’d never make a promise if he didn’t plan to keep it, and he’s not an idiot either, so when he just felt himself disappearing and saw zoro nearby... Instead of saying something like “I’ll be back!” and potentially making his crewmates wait for him forever, he tells zoro to “take care of the crew”... SOBBING AND CRYING T - T. So YES. the crew has unwavering faith in their captain. But. Luffy didnt say that he’d be coming back or anything. So what are they supposed to do really.

And it’s really hard to read at some parts, like it never loses the goofy tone that has been there throughout all of one piece and it’s really sweet to see everyone rely on each other to keep one another afloat, but the slight tension that keeps building up over the months while they keep looking for clues and answers... And how each lead keeps becoming a dead end... When it builds up and Usopp finally voices the thing that’s on everyone’s mind.

Oh man. I started crying so hard. It took 6 month for any one of them to say something. Like this is One piece. Of course Luffy is gonna come back eventually, it would be waay too dark otherwise... But Idk man, even I started to doubt that :((( But luckily. THIS IS ONE PIECE. So right after everyone started,,, well not exactly losing hope or anything (maybe a bit)? but going BATSHIT INSANE FROM THE REALITY THAT THEIR CAPTAIN MIGHT BE GONE FOR GOOD, they finally got a solid actual clue of what might’ve happened to luffy!!! And I’m SO GLADDDD!!!!

Omg and when they tracked down the pray-pray no mi user and finally got some answers out of him. OMG WAIT A MOMENT I REALLY LIKED IS WHEN PRIEST GUY IS LIKE “urerheg without luffy up there as a god the entire world may very well be destroyed cause the sun has been super unstable for centuries blah blah” and then Nami freaking PUMMELED THE GUY AND SHOVED HIM DOWN WITH HER STAFF AND

SOBBING CRYING SOBBING. THEY WOULD POTENTIALLY BLOW UP THE ENTIRE WORLD IF IT MEANT THAT THEIR CAPTAIN WOULDNT HAVE TO BE LONELY ; - ; KILL ME.

URGH I was really hoping that Luffy would return right once they beat him up cause I really really missed my boy, but honestly I think the final method of getting Luffy to return was super clever and absolutely worth the extra 3 weeks of waiting!!! I know that it was foreshadowed across the whole West Blue Saga and everything but I honestly had no clue it would end like that, DONT MAKE FUN OF ME :(((

When the crew finally got their captain back after 8 months of waiting... I mean they’ve been separated before for even longer periods of time, but they always knew that they’d be back together. This time they didn’t know. BUT AREHAHRGE ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING WAS SO WORTHIT WHEN THEY ALL FINALLY REUNITED T - T!!!!!! UWAHHWHAHWUAAGGHA!!! AND SEEING ALL THEIR ALLIES AND FRIENDS THEYVE MADE JUST CHEER AND CRY WHEN THEY HEAR THE NEWS!!!! I WOULD CHUCK ALL THE PANELS HERE IF I COULD BUT ID JUS T REACH THE IMAGE LIMIT BECAUSE ALL OF THEM MADE ME CRY ; - ;!!! Literally just read those 5 chapters in the arc finale cause,,,, man so good T - T

Anyways TLDR: The post-series luffy seperation arc is NOT BAD and you guys are JUST COWARDS AND LIARS!!!!

[justauthoring]

a certain fondness.

to admit your feelings is scary, but to never have known is scarier. requested! -> hey! i seen your post asking for marauders requests so I was wondering if you’d write a remus x reader? where they’ve been pining after eachother for so long and it’s so obvious to everyone but them. maybe it ends in a nervous love confession? thank youuu!!! requested by! -> @pinkdaiisies

a/n -> yall im on chapter 108 of atyd and im in the trenches currently lol also, i will always use the og fancast

pairing -> remus lupin x f!reader

he was so pretty that it almost wasn't fair.

pretty eyes. pretty smile. pretty hair. pretty scars. you knew he thought they made him a monster, but you thought they made him look beautiful.

though, you could never tell him that.

you've wanted to, multiple times. been talked up by the girls and psyched yourself up, everything, but the second he'd smile at you with that soft, shy smile, all that courage would disappear within seconds and you'd be left a fumbling fool.

and so, like a cruel torture, you were left a pining fool – always thinking about the what if's and the maybes without ever taking the steps to make them reality. you'd dream of a day you'd be brave enough, or worse, dream of a day that maybe he'd confess himself.

that all along, he'd liked you too.

it never happened.

-

"seriously, moony, you should just tell her."

remus rolls his eyes from behind the book he'd been reading – peacefully a few seconds ago – before lowering it to send james a rather nonplussed expression. "not all of us can just pour our hearts out whenever we want, prongs."

james just rolls his eyes. "and why not?" he counters, quirking a challenging brow. "i have no problem."

"and how well is that working out for you?"

james lips part in disbelief as remus smirks, it growing when he hears sirius let out a loud chuckle and peter try to quietly mask his own chuckle. it wasn't often the boys teased james for his crush on lily anymore, especially since it'd been made clear no amount of it would change his rather embarrassing attempts but, when someone did crack a joke, it never failed to gain the intended laugh.

"well," james huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back against the couch. "at least i'm not too afraid to admit my feelings, like a certain moony over here."

remus shakes his head; "i'm not afraid."

"you definitely are," sirius pops up then, sending remus a smirk. "even wormtail has more bravery then you, remus."

peter flushes at that, batting away sirius' hand from it's mocking pat on his back. "so funny."

sirius just sticks his tongue out at peter, being the childish prat he normally is, as james speaks up again. "seriously though, moony. i'm confident y/n feels the same."

flushing, remus slams his book shut – he clearly wasn't going to be able to read it in peace anymore. "you do not know that," remus corrects, "what if she doesn't and i embarrass myself?"

"like prongs?" sirius grins.

james just sends him the finger. "it honestly isn't that bad."

remus sighs; "for you maybe. besides, why would she want to go out with someone like me?"

remus' meaning is clear.

"remus," james sighs, pitingly. "y/n knows right?" remus nods. "and she doesn't care. none of us do. it isn't as bad as you think it is."

remus moves to respond, but before he can, a voice cuts in;

"what's not that bad?"

all four eyes fall on the four girls as they make their way into the common room. it's lily who asks the question, not so subtly moving towards james, sitting on the arm of his chair, who meets her eyes and tries not to flush immediately – to be fair, lily isn't that much better.

mary and marlene send smiles of their own and easily flank themselves on the couch next sirius, peter now on the ground in front of them.

you walk in behind them, eyes falling on remus' first as you smile.

it's then, remus realizes, that all the open spots on the little nook the marauders had settled themselves in are now taken. he notices, just out of the corner of his eye, you move to take a seat on the ground and his body reacts before he can stop himself.

"here," he rushes, "take my seat."

you turn to him in surprise, a soft flush covering your cheeks as your eyes flicker from the now open seat to remus. "oh, remus you don't–"

"i insist," he pushes, gently, nodding at you with a small, nervous smile.

the rest of the marauders and the girls all send each other knowing glances, shaking their heads at their friends obliviousness.

smiling brightly, you move towards the couch; "thank you, remus."

"o-of course."

with nowhere left, remus settles himself on the ground, in front of you. he tries to ignore the flutter of his heart at having you so close or the way he can't get the soft smile you'd sent him out of your head.

"so," you prompt after a moment when no one else will speak. "what's not so bad?"

remus realizes they'd never answered lily's question. instantly, he sends a look to james, pleading with him not to say anything – especially with you right there.

"sorry, y/n/n," sirius calls out instead of james when the quidditch captain simply stares on in panic. "it's a marauder secret." he offers, grinning over at you and sending remus a wink who quickly bows his head.

you roll your eyes at that, but smile nonetheless. "nothing new then," you laugh, "just let me know beforehand if you're planning on blowing something up or making a mess of something. last time you guys did a prank, i got hit in the crossfire."

all the boys wince at that.

"sorry, y/n," james cringes.

"we promise we'll let you know," peter assures, sending you a smile.

you return it with a smile of your own and a laugh.

"so," sirius speaks up, "what are you ladies doing here? normally you lot of are gossiping or something."

mary rolls her eyes; "we do not gossip."

sirius just quirks a brow at her.

marlene is quick to jump to her defence; "at least we don't land ourselves in detention weekly."

"touche," sirius laughs.

"actually," lily jumps in, leaning forward on the armrest of james' chair. "y/n needed remus for something, didn't you?"

remus watches as you still as all eyes fall on you. "o-oh," you mumble, meeting remus' eyes nervously. "yeah."

remus turns to you; "is everything okay?"

"oh, yes," you reassure with a shake of your head at the concern in his eyes. "i had a question about something for charms. if you don't mind?"

remus is once again interrupted before he can answer;

"moony was actually just headed to the library," james cuts in with a grin. "you two can head there and he can help you."

remus sends james a glare, shaking his head.

you're a little confused by james' suggestion, but you're not all that bothered as you shrug, and turn to remus. there's a warmth to your cheeks that is subtly there, but otherwise, you smile as normal. "if remus doesn't mind?"

"o-of course not!" remus rushes, perhaps a bit quckly if the surprise in your eyes is anything to go by. he rushes to correct himself. "i mean... i don't mind at all."

-

thirty minutes later and the two of you are alone in the library.

there was only a few other students there so luckily the both of you were able to find a table to yourselves easily. you'd asked him your question about charms and remus had been helpful, like you'd expected.

but now, as the two of you sat there, it was clear neither of you knew what to say.

"s-sorry about them," remus speaks up, voice soft, a moment after lasting silence. "the guys i mean. they-well..."

you frown as remus trails off, turning to him in concern; "remus?"

"i didn't actually have to go to the library." is all he answers with.

your eyes widen. "oh!" you squeak, embarrassed. "i... i'm so sorry! i didn't mean to pull you away from your friends! we totally could've done this–"

"no, no," remus rushes out, shaking his head. "no, that's not what i meant."

you frown, puzzled. remus was being awfully criptic and you didn't really understand why. not to mention, his cheeks were bright red and he was desperately avoiding your gaze which was making you increasingly nervous.

had you done something to upset him?

as far as you knew, there was no full moon approaching. so it couldn't be that. since you'd found out last year, you'd been keeping track of when full moons were happening so you could be there for remus in anyway you can. which, admittedly, wasn't much unfortunately, but you at least liked to know.

reaching forward, you set your hand on his arm, not noticing the way he tenses at your touch.

"remus?" you push gently.

his eyes clench shut and then; "i like you!"

he says it so fast and so suddenly, you don't even recognize what he's said. not at first, anyways. you pause, blinking, as his own eyes slowly flicker open to meet yours nervously.

then, softly, you ask; "you like me?"

he cringes. "yes," he nods, beet red. "i h-have for a while. the boys have been trying to get me to confess for a while, which is why they'd offered us to go the library. so... so we could be alone."

you blink; "oh."

remus takes that the wrong way. "i understand if you don't feel the same!" he rushes, shaking his head at you. "nothing has to change. and i mean... i'd understand if you had... concerns about being with me, so–"

you promptly cut him off by pressing your lips against his own.

the kiss is messy and clumsy, neither of you having any experience. you also pull away quicker than you'd like, but despite remus' confession, you're still nervous so it's instinct as your body pulls away.

meeting remus' eyes, your breathless; "i like you too," you whisper. "and i have no concerns about being with you. at all."

remus' eyes widen. "even... with my monthly problem?"

"even with," you say with no hesitation or doubt. "you know i don't care or see you differently. i... i just, well, like you."

remus smiles at that, finally eased as he laughs lightly. "i like you too."

biting your lip, you grin; "can i kiss you again?"

"please."

-

"you think they're snogging each other?"

"hopefully." lily huffs, "all y/n does is pine after remus."

"same with remus," sirius laughs. "he's madly in love."

marlene laughs; "if they aren't we're going to have to try different methods."

"more forward," mary nods.

james snorts; "nah, they're definitely snogging."

"what makes you so sure?" peter asks, confused.

"look," james nods to his right.

all eyes follow his gesture, five pairs of eyes widening at the sight of you and remus walking into the common room, hand in hand.

"finally!"

[n0tamused]

"Dragon-lady" - Jien YueXia

I think it was about time to fully show Jien's design and also her updated dragon form too! I never posted the full refs on here, maybe I should have though - but it doesn't matter. I have updated her reference on the left recently to match how she looks now, mainly some color changes and her horns shape. The dragon form on the right was drawn just the other night and honestly, I am super proud of how it came out.

I do have a ramble prepared on how her dragon form works, so I'm leaving that under the cut for anyone that is interested :) <3

Tbh I wish to cosplay her one day, I already had her horns 3d printed and painted so that's one thing out of the way! Man I love her horns so much AEEEEE

Dragon-form ramble:

Jien’s dragon form is quite a specific use of her power and as it takes quite a lot of focus and strength to pull up Jien doesn’t really tend to use it - although the main reason she almost never uses it is because she was never in such dire need either. The dragon form itself looks real, it produces heat,it “bleeds” gold, it behaves like any other organic organism, but in truth that is much more complicated. A fleshy mechanical puppet would be a more appropriate term for this form as Jien, as a human, is locked away inside its chest, moving the thing around. There are fine lines and sheens of gold over the beast that can be passed off as scales and the coloring of the animal, but those are actually “seams” of Jien’s work. Something like Albedo’s mark on his neck, and in technical sense (to shorten this ramble and make understanding of it more easy) the dragon is like a Titan to a titan shifter (Attack on Titan).

If the dragon is hurt in any way, Jien doesn’t feel it herself, although she knows it happens to her. Jien has some wiggle room in there and the space is rather padded and built to endure any form of jostling and hits, the plates on the outside of the dragon spread out any impact. One downside is that, if enough hits are dealt to one area, the area can begin to harden. So Jien is especially careful to not take many hits to the chest area of the dragon, otherwise getting out of the beast later would be quite difficult.

Upon exiting the dragon form, the dragon will disappear rather quickly, and blank pages of paper will remain, some torn and some intact. 

When it comes to sound, do you know how the bronze bull works? Dragon roars for Jien’s dragon form would be produced something like that too. Through the long neck of the dragon her voice is converted into lower frequency sounds of a dragon roar, accompanied by the slight tone of shuffling papers and other clicking sounds. She can still speak in dragon form, but her voice would be slightly distorted and have a lower tone. Going back to the dragon roar, due to the distance from the chest of the dragon and to the maws, the sound of a roar is quite haunting and eerie, uncanny almost, and it basically passes through you if you’re around to hear it. 

That's it, for now....

I will save some other rambles for later. Until then, if anyone if curious to ask more, please feel free to pop into the ask box or dm! <3

[imissjoongsmullet]

you belong to me

Pairing: Yunho x reader

Genre: idk man, soft angst, good amount of romance, and a dash of sexy

Summary: Your boyfriend takes you to a themepark with his friends but things take a turn when his jealousy takes over

Warnings: cuteness, possessive boyfriend Yunho, haunted houses?? honestly this is pretty chill, nothing too crazy babes, just read this if you like cute boyfriends that get a bit jealous ok

Word Count: 2K

Author’s Note: um yeah so first of all sorry for disappearing for so long, honestly I don’t know if i’m coming back just yet. This was just something that had to get out of my system so I wrote it (you know how it issssss), and i wanted to share with a friend so I figured I might as well post it. The writing was incredibly rushed and perhaps messy but it’s somethingggggg! I just hope someone out here enjoys it ^^

Also if you’ve left me a request that I haven’t gotten to yet, I send my apologies and one million good vibes your wayyyy

***

The sun shone bright, kissing the skin of your bare arms. You smiled up at your boyfriend, who was walking beside you — a tall teddy bear of a man by the name of Yunho. He gave a shy smile back and took your hand in his. You couldn’t help but blush a little. This was the first time he’d taken you out in a group setting and you weren’t sure how his friends would react to the two of you together.

It wasn’t long before you realized you had little to worry about. One carousel ride in, the ice was broken when the oldest of the group got so dizzy he ran into a trashcan. His friends were all really easygoing, it seemed, and they made you feel part of the team in no time. One of Yunho’s friends in particular took the time to make you feel comfortable — a dark-haired boy with a sweet twinkle in his eyes. He asked you how you’d met, where you were from, and made light-hearted jokes when the others were talking amongst themselves.

“Ever tried these?” he said, holding up a roll of candy.

You were all in line for the log ride; a 40 minute wait, and you had to admit you were starting to get hungry.

You let him drop a single gummy-like thing into your palm. “What are they?” you asked.

“They’re chewy,” he replied as he popped one into his mouth, “a bit sour at first but sweet on the inside.”

“She doesn’t like sour things,” someone said behind you.

Yunho’s hand slid slyly around your waist and he left a quick kiss near your temple.

“No, it’s okay,” you said, putting the candy in your mouth with a smile, “it looks delicious.” You didn’t want Yunho’s friends to think you were a difficult person or anything.

*

A long half hour later the entire group was facing the safety bar to board the ride. The gates opened with a creak and everyone moved toward the boat. Just as you meant to step in beside your new friend though, Yunho took hold of your wrist and bent down to your ear.

“You go sit in the front. I’ll be right behind you.”

He moved you over to the front of the ride, getting in after you, one leg of his on either side of you. Even though the front seat usually scares you, feeling his arms wrap around you tightly made you feel secure. You leaned back against his warm chest and let the scary things come.

This was the way it was with Yunho. Nothing could ever be frightening as long as he was with you because you knew he would always protect you. Just as you’d expected, he held you tight the entire ride, his large frame shielding you from wind and water alike, leaving you the only member of the group to not come out the log ride soaking wet.

*

He was being touchy, you could tell — more than usual, even. You weren’t entirely sure why but you definitely weren’t going to complain. You loved feeling his love this way. His gaze lingered on you as you chatted to his friends, his fingers coming up to run absent-minded tracks along your arm, asking for attention. You hoped he was proud of you for being social and mingling like this.

“Let’s go in the haunted house!” the dark-haired boy exclaimed, pointing excitedly to a large structure that looked like an abandoned castle.

“I don’t know about this,” you started, limbs stiffening. You meant to turn back to Yunho but before you could face him, the other boy grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you toward the entrance.

“Come on!” he said, smiling from ear to ear, “we can all go together!”

Once at the entrance, Yunho appeared before you, blocking you from the rest of the group.

“I know you don’t like haunted houses, baby,” he said, taking your hands in his, “but don’t worry, I’m right here. Nothing is going to happen. Just hold on to me,” he explained, before giving you a small peck on the forehead. Then he turned so he was in front of you and all you could see was his broad back.

Your heart pounded as you all started walking together. You didn’t want to disappoint your boyfriend, so you held onto his waist, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt, and followed.

“Shit,” you heard an animated whisper next to you, “it’s so dark.” 

A hand came to rest on your shoulder. You flinched for a second but realized it was only one of the friends trying not to get seperated from the group.

All of a sudden, thunderous clap rattled the room and everyone screamed. There was a flash of light and the next moment, sounds that could only be described as undead, roared from behind.

“Run!” the voice next to you yelled and you all scrambled forward. There was a mess of hands tugging and pulling at you as you ran and you suddenly had no idea where Yunho was. You could tell he was still around somewhere — you knew his scent and aura all too well — but soon you weren’t sure which limb belonged to who and you didn’t have the courage to care.

Another flash broke the dark for the blink of an eye, showing a zombie-like creature standing at the end of a hall you’d just entered.

More screaming and tugging and pure chaos erupted and all you could think was how you didn’t want to be left alone. You grabbed hold of the first person you could find and together you ran screaming until, at last, you came upon a large, dimly-lit chamber.

It took no less than a second for Yunho to appear. Without a word, he pressed himself between you and the dark-haired friend, forcing you apart rather harshly. A guilty hot flush ran to your cheeks but there was no time to ponder what had just happened because the next moment, a band of monsters ran into the room, sending panic through your body once again.

“Up!” Yunho ordered as you felt him tap your thigh. Without another thought, you jumped up onto his back, letting him carry you swiftly from the room and into another dark hallway. You buried your face into his neck, squeezing you eyes closed until finally, you felt a breeze of fresh air in your hair.

*

“Ahh, today was so nice!” the dark-haired friend grinned as he slid onto the bench next to you and Yunho, “I don’t want to go back home.”

The theme park had just closed and you were finishing off the day with comfort food at a nearby family restaurant. You hadn’t had a proper meal all day and were pretty much starving at this point so you ordered a large size pizza. Another good thing about being with Yunho was that he would most likely finish whatever food you couldn’t eat. Big boys need big meals, you always said.

Low and behold, you started feeling full about halfway through your meal.

“Can I have a piece?” the dark-haired friend asked, leaning close to you with a smile.

“Sure!” You nodded, allowing him to grab a piece from your plate. You were always glad to share.

“You can try some of my fries too if you want,” he mumbled through a mouthful of pizza, “the sauce is amazing.”

They did look good, you thought, so you agreed.

“Here.” He smiled and picked up some fries with his fork. Chuckling gleefully, he moved closer to feed you but before the fork could reach your lips, high-pitched shrieks rang out all around the table as one of the drink glasses had just fallen over, spilling soda everywhere.

“Sorry,” you heard Yunho say as you and the others leaned over the table to grab tissues, “my hand slipped.”

“Be careful, baby,” you said gently, noticing a whole bunch of it had spilled in your lap as well.

“Oh no,” the dark-haired boy laughed, “that’s gonna get sticky.” He started laying tissues in your lap, patting them down with his hands when—

“I think you should go clean up in the bathroom.” Yunho’s voice was strained and dead serious. Taken off guard, you stared at him. He stared right back, eyes harder than you’d seen them all day.

“Right,” you said, scrambling up, only to realize you were still sandwiched on the bench between Yunho and the dark-haired guy. “This way,” Yunho said, taking your wrist and pulling you toward himself, making you squeeze by him.

Your face was hot as you left the table. Yunho was angry, that much was clear. Feelings of guilt flooded you. All you ever wanted was to be good to him. On a deeper, more secretive level though, you couldn’t deny the look he’d just given you made your knees weak in quite a pleasurable way.

Pull yourself together, you thought as you entered the hallway to the bathrooms. You stopped for a second to catch your breath, wondering what exactly was going on. You thought everything had been going great; you were getting closer to his friends and you were really starting to—

Someone gave you a push. You gasped as a hand tugged your shoulder, turning you around and shoving you against the wall.

“Yunho,” you whispered breathlessly.

“What do you think you’re doing?” your boyfriend said in a low voice. His hands were on either side of your face and his large frame towered over you, trapping you.

“What do you mean?” you asked, staring up at him hopelessly. Yunho was not a scary guy. He was like a golden retriever; happy-go-lucky, playful and so so sweet; so the rare times something did piss him off, it made your heart thump a million miles an hour.

He shook his head, brows furrowed. “Baby girl, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” One of his hands left the wall to caress your cheek, gently, though his eyes were still intense as ever. “I had to watch my princess, all day, getting ju—-st a little too close to my friend.” His fingers moved down your chin, trailing you neck so lightly and so slowly you had to hold your breath. They traveled down to your chest, where one finger poked you. “Do you know how that makes me feel?”

Realization hit you like the strike of lightning. In all your anxiousness trying to get his friends to like you, you hadn’t stopped to consider your boundaries as much as you probably should have.

“Yunho, I—”

“Do you know how hard it is for me to watch you be touched by anyone else?” he said, his voice strained with emotion.

“I didn’t mean to, I swear—”

“You were going to let him feed you.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Do you know who you belong to?”

You stared at him with desperation in your eyes. “I’m yours, baby, I promise.”

“Say that again,” he said darkly, hand coming to hold your chin.

“I’m yours, Yunho. Yours only—” you let out a gasp as his other hand ran down your side to your thighs momentarily, then back up, landing at your waist and squeezing softly.

“That’s good,” he said and you could tell the fire in his eyes was dying down. He pulled you close by the small of your back and let out a breath against your ear.

“Yunho,” you whispered, barely audible. He felt so overwhelmingly good against you.

Fingers caressed your back as he trailed little kisses down the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“You like that don’t you?” he murmured and all you could do was hum in response.

“You want more of that, don’t you?” he went on.

“Yes, please.” Your answer was automatic.

“Well,” he went on exploring your body, “if you want more of this, you’re going to have to be a very good girl for me.” He turned his head to face you, so close you could feel his breath on your lips. “Can you do that for me princess?”

You nodded and finally, he smiled again, love flooding his features once more. He gave you one soft, slow, lingering kiss that made your legs feel like they might give out, before pulling away and grabbing you by the hand.

“Let’s finish dinner quickly so we can get home soon.”

You knew what that meant, and suddenly, you couldn’t wait to leave.

[xoxotria]

after you | h.js

theme: angst, post break-up

“where did all those feelings go? people spend their whole lives looking for love. poems and songs and entire novels are written about it. but how can you trust something that can end as suddenly as it begins?” - the sun is also a star by nicola yoon

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

it had been roughly a few months since your break up with joshua. it was a messy breakup with no real closure. you had a nasty fight that resulted in him breaking up with you and leaving your apartment angrily leaving you dazed at how the situation escalated that fast.

“yes, jun. i know.”

you had been on the phone with jun as you double checked if the last items of joshua’s stuff that he left in your apartment was in the box. he had reached out a day ago asking if he could pick up the stuff he had left behind—all of it were things he could easily replace; his macbook charger, a few formal shirts, pajamas, house slippers, a coffee mug, a pair of work shoes, and a pair of fluffy slippers.

“it’s just weird how he reached out just to get stuff out of the blue when he’s been no contact with you since you broke up.” jun comments as you shrug.

“maybe his charger broke? i don’t fucking know jun! i’m as confused as you are honestly.” you admit.

it was confusing. joshua was confusing. the entire situation was.

“all i know is that he wants his stuff back and i’d gladly give it all back just so i don’t have to be reminded of his non-existent presence anymore in the apartment.” you grab your phone as joshua’s name pops up on your phone.

love sent you a message. you cursed at the stupid contact name you had yet to change.

“he’s there already?” jun asks as you nod typing furiously on your phone.

“yeah. i gotta go jun. i’ll call you later okay?” you exit your messages to see jun nodding on screen.

“you better. talk to you later—hey, it’s gonna be alright. you got this.” jun reassures you as you smile at him.

jun was your best-friend. he knows just from your breathing if something was wrong with you. he was there after you sobbed into your phone after it sunk in that you and joshua had broken up. he picked up the pieces of a heart he didn’t even break. you were eternally grateful for him.

“thanks jun. call you later. bye!” you smile as you waved him goodbye.

“okay, bye!”

your nerves disappeared with jun’s words just as your doorbell rang, getting up from the seat by the kitchen counter you made your way over to the door. you didn’t bother asking who it was opening the door fully to come face to face with the man you once loved—still love.

“hi.” he greets a small smile on his face that doesn’t reach his eyes the way it used to.

a rush of emotions surfaced as you caught sight of him for the first time since you broke up. he looked tired—the bags under his eyes telling you he’d been having trouble sleeping, his hair was messy a rough contrast to the well maintained hairstyle he used to have, and the timid expression on his face reminded you of the time you first went on a date.

you missed him. you missed your joshua. setting your thoughts aside you move over to make way for him to enter.

“hi, come in. your stuff is on the kitchen counter.” you greet him back with a small smile of your own as he passes by you to enter the kitchen while you close the door behind him following quietly behind him as he looks around your apartment.

it was quiet between you two as you let him glance around whilst you situated yourself behind the kitchen counter where his stuff was. you fiddled with your nails as he glanced over at you.

“all your stuff is here but you can double check if i missed anything.” you gently push the box towards him as he sits on the stool opening the box.

you watched as he pulled out the random trinkets he gifted you for your apartment, his shirts, and charger as you caught sight of the silver of the matching rings you had hanging on a chain on his neck.

your breath hitched as you caught sight of it. a million questions ringing in your head as he caught your gaze on the ring.

“everything seems to be here.” he mumbles as he watched you reach out to touch the ring.

he felt her fingers ghost over the skin on his chest missing her touch which she longed so long to feel again but as he did she pulled away clutching her hand to her chest.

“sorry, i didn’t realize what i was doing.” she stutters as she avoided eye contact with him.

she wanted to smack her head against the counter for being so stupid. just as she was cursing herself in her head she heard joshua say something that causes her to heart to stop.

“i missed you.”

he said it so quietly, she almost didn’t hear it. he missed her? what the fuck was happening?

she wanted to be happy but the unresolved tensions of the night of their break up had bubbled back up to the surface and without realizing the words that slipped out of her mouth—she was going to give him a piece of her mind.

“4 months joshua. 4 months of no contact after storming out and breaking up with me! now you missed me? do you know how unfair it was? to not even have a chance to reason with you for breaking up with me just like that? you didn’t even give me the reason why! you stormed out before i even got the chance to.” she could feel the anger she held in her heart come pouring out.

she wanted him to know what it felt. how hurt and betrayed she was after he cut her off for months.

“i deserved more than that. yet why is it that despite everything you were what i was looking for when i came home, when i wake up in the morning, when i cross the streets, when i shop for groceries, when i see a black sedan drive past me when i’m outside? i see you even in the most mundane things i do, josh.” her eyes glistened with tears as he stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

“i loved you josh. fuck—i still do! i love you. i love you. i’ll write it in the skies. in the seas. on paper. it has always been you joshua. from the moment we first met. it’s the most maddening, beguiling, damnable thing but it’s true. i’m so in love with you still.”

he stared at her watching as she broke down infront of him. his chest aching from being so stupid for leaving her like that. he needed to make things right because when he was with her everything felt right.

“please say something,” she whispers.

his throat tightens as she drops her face into her hands sobs leaving her body.

she heard his footsteps before she realized that his arms wrapped around her torso.

“i’m so sorry darling.” he whispers into the crook of her neck, his grip around her torso tightening. “i was being irrational and my nerves were shot from fighting. i hurt you when i promised you i wouldn’t.”

she could feel the warmth of his hands through the shirt she wore, encircling her arms around his pressing herself against him. despite the resentment she had built up from their breakup, she couldn’t help but love him still.

“i’ll give you the world. the moon. the stars. the entire fucking universe. anything you ask for, it’s yours. i’m yours because i love you. i still want to live in the mountains with you as you paint on our balcony, to wake up every day with you beside me, to feel you against my body as i whisper and make you feel how much i love you. ”

she couldn’t take it anymore, removing herself from his embrace and cupping his cheeks. she looks up at him a smile on her face. his favorite sight.

“you’re such an idiot but i love you.” she chokes out through her tears.

he kisses her forehead as her eyes flutter shut.

“i love you.” he whispers repeatedly as his lips brushes over hers, like a prayer.

his hands wrap around the back of her neck as he brings her forward. his lips meet hers in a soft kiss. he broke away, their breaths heavy. joshua’s lips pepper kisses on her cheeks, her jaw, and her neck before pulling away to gaze into her eyes.

they knew what each other was feeling without having to put it into words. their eyes communicated a million words without having to.

“you have me—all of me. i’m yours in this life and all our lives after that. i am never letting you go again.”

she looked at joshua lovingly. when her lips meets his again, it was as if every piece of longing disappears and every uncertainty evaporates. he knew then there would never be an after you because no matter what he would always comeback to you.

[lamoobsessions]

In the embers of light, I see my love for you.

Newt x Reader(f)

Summary:  Set at the Safe Haven, two people hopelessly infatuated carry a conversation of memories and the act of starting over again.

A/N: First time posting on here, so bear with me if I mess something up. Any sort of feedback is appreciated! <3 <3 <3

Warnings: No use of y/n, no reader-specific descriptions, she/her pronouns. 

Word Count: 1k

___________________________

The fire crackled and popped, emanating a soft warmth in the cool night. The flames whisked in the breeze that carried off the ocean water. It was amazing the fire was still lit. The flames held a miraculous vitality, even after the continuous hours it had been burning and with little attention it had been given. 

As captivating as it was, there was something greater catching Newt's eyes -or rather someone. And that someone sat only a few inches away from him, staring intrinsically at the fire. He watched as the light danced in her eyes, illuminating every feature, every detail. Her knees to her chest and arms loosely slunk over her legs, evidently relaxed -comfortable with her surroundings. 

This wasn’t always a normal occurrence. It used to be an unfamiliar feeling, almost distant, as if comfortability itself was only a mere idea. Surely, they thought, a feeling like that was no longer felt in a world like their own. No, it would be near impossible to feel such a thing ever again. 

But here they are, sitting side by side in each other's company, not a pint of unease to be felt. Unless you considered the fluttering feeling Newt had whenever he was around her. Then, maybe there was some unease, but it’s not an unwarranted feeling. He welcomed this feeling with open arms, accepting it as a feeling of admiration. 

“Do you think memories still exist when you forget them?”

The question seemingly comes out of nowhere. Her eyes don’t even deter from the fire when she speaks, as if she hadn’t meant to ask the question outloud. 

“Where is this coming from?” He questions. 

She shrugs, mindlessly drawing small circles in the sand. It seemed the question wasn’t one derived from a sense of melancholy, but rather from a genuine curiosity. 

He smiles to himself, looking back to the fire as he ponders her question. “I’m not sure,” he answers honestly. “I’d like to think so. I’d like to think things don’t just disappear when we forget’em. They’ll still live on in someone else’s memory. Or If not in someone else’s then I’m sure it’s still there, you just can’t see it.”

There’s a moment of silence as she considered his answer, thinking it over, comparing it to an opinion of her own. 

“You think it’s possible to retrieve those lost memories?” She adds. 

“Maybe, if you try hard enough.”

The girl turned towards him with a look that clearly stated she wasn’t satisfied with that answer. 

He huffs with a laugh and perches his arms behind him, propping up his back. Amused by her persistence. “I suppose it’s a matter of significance. How important that moment was, what happened, when it happened, where it happened, stuff like that.” He thinks out loud, looking into the ocean for stability. “That is to say if half your memories weren’t taken from you in the first place.”

At that she laughs, and he feels a sense of pride that he could be the cause of such a wonderful sound. “Yeah, I know there is no retrieving those…I just mean,” She pauses a moment, looking down to the sand. “-moments like this. I don’t want to forget this moment but if I do, I'd hope it wouldn't go away forever.”

He nudges her side lightly. “Well, there’s no need to worry about that. I’m here too. I’ll make sure to hold on to it for you in case you forget.”

“Thanks.” She replies, nudging him in the side in return. “On the contrary, I have this weird distaste towards the term ‘unforgettable’. I think it’s because of the whole memory removal thing. Like, maybe there was a time before all this where I deemed something as ‘unforgettable’. But little did I know I’d be sitting here now, not having a clue what that moment was.”

“So, you don’t think something can be unforgettable?”

“Not necessarily. But usually for me when something is unforgettable it’s a bad thing.”

Newt knew all too well what she meant by that. His mind always seemed to favor trauma over moments of delight. 

“Maybe we need to start makin' more positive ‘unforgettables’ from now on then."

“Yeah," She mutters. "Maybe we do.”

A silence fills the air as the two of them reveled in the other's presence. Comforted by the fact that they have each other. With the ocean waves crashing in the distance and the flickering light of the fire, the serene scene almost made it too easy to let all their concerns melt away.

“I must admit, it’d be hard to forget moments like this. Moments with you, I mean.” She confesses, avoiding all possible eye contact. 

Though, Newt looks to her, a flattered yet nervous smile on his lips. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she confirms meekly. “I enjoy your company. When I’m with you things seem… easier. Like, life seems to become a little more bearable -and I know how dark and weirdly cheesy that sounds, but it’s true… You make me feel secure.”

Her sudden sentiments struck him, making his ears and cheeks run warm. 

Her words weren’t something new to Newt. He had known the impact they had on each other for a while. There was always this unspoken bond. A sort of mutual understanding that they needed each other. Not in a sense of co-dependency but more of a fidelity -a reassurance that they would always have each other. 

In spite of all that, the reason her sentiments struck Newt was because of her tone. There was a sense of timidity to her words, similar to one of a confession.  

“You make me feel secure too -and I’m not just saying that cause you said it. I mean it, you-” He babbles, trying to formulate his thoughts into words. “You mean a lot to me. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do with you.”

Their gazes meet and she smiles. “You probably would be off your wits by now.” She teases. “You know, dealing with Minho and Thomas is not a one-man task.”

He chuckles. “Bloody right on that one.” He looks back to the ocean, hoping to find the right words hidden in the waves. “I’m serious though. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone quite like you. You’re… astonishing.”

Her features soften, sparking a light in her eyes. 

He refuses himself to look her way, afraid he’ll lose all control and let his thoughts spill. However, he doesn’t need to see her to know a smile is still prevalent on her face. He can feel it radiating off her, like the warmth from the fire, like the salt on his skin -like her hand now holding his. 

… 

The gesture felt natural to her. Laying her hand on top of his, she squeezes it tight as if to extend a gratuity towards his declaration. She then follows his gaze to the dark ocean water, watching the waves fold in the night. 

“I actually think it would be hard to forget this moment.”

He hums in question, now feeling it is finally safe to look her way. “Would you say it’s unforgettable?”

A grin sneaks on her lips as she cuts her eyes.  “Mm, not yet.”

Now fully turning towards the boy, who appears to be choked on words, the girl’s smile softens. Her eyes flicker to his lips, as if to test the water. He seems to get the implication immediately, leaning in closer to close the space between them. A hand sneaks up her neck as another hovers over her waist. Their lips meet halfway.

Just as fast as the kiss began, it stopped. Foreheads pressed against one another, her hand resting on his cheek, brushing light strokes under his eyes. “I guess it is now,” she breaths, unable to form any other words. 

“You guess?” He teases. 

A laugh bubbles in her throat, nodding her head once. “I guess.”

Newt pulls her back instantly, simmering in the newly created warmth between them. Her lips curve upward as his does the same. 

With desire so plentiful and the stars above abound, there would be no possible way to forget a moment like this. At least, that is what she believed. They would venture this new paradise together, side by side, hand-in-hand -metaphorically and physically. 

Though these roads are uncharted, they feel quite tranquil. She felt that something as easy as this would never be topped. 

An air of silence separates them now. The two of them mindlessly admiring the other under the silver moonlight. The girl didn’t think Newt looked real. The way his skin soothed in the light. The way his hair weaved through the salty breeze. How his eyes seemed to consume her whole. She thought he looked more like a depiction of an angel rather than a boy.

“Don’t smile at me like that.” He marveled coyly.

“Like what?”

“Like…that.”  He gestures slightly towards her before turning to the passing fire. 

She takes another moment to indulge herself with his appearance. Loving the feeling he invokes in her heart. Scooting closer to him, she rests her head lightly on his shoulder. “I’ll smile at you all I want.”

She feels a chuckle vibrate in his chest as he rests his head atop of hers. “Fine.” He relents, although it wasn’t much of a retaliation in the first place. 

“Fine,” She nudges her head in closer. 

Together they sit on the cool sand and breath in the salt air, watching as the fire’s light begins to dim. Only charred wood, fluffy ashes, and flickering sparks remained. As if the fire's job was done for the night.

Just before her eyes began to flutter shut, a pair of lips pecked her forehead. 

Maybe Newt was right. There was still much more left for them in this life. They’ve given so much in such little time. Now… it was time to receive. It was time to make new unforgettable moments. 

They would be okay.

[solei-eclipse]

Sending this as an ask cause I don't think tumblr is going to let me send this full thing in the reply of your last post:

Your wellbeing is more important than anything else! It's okay if you miss stuff or are too tired to participate when things happen within the community; it's okay if you're not as fixated on Alien Stage anymore; just because you are admittedly seen as one of the bigger ALNST bloggers on Tumblr does NOT mean that you owe anyone anything. That goes for the OC stuff too. Sorry if this is a bit too personal, but we enjoy seeing you around not because of what you can provide but because you’re you, and we just enjoy your presence; it's as simple as that. We love you Para, and we just want you to be okay.

It's not too personal at all, no worries :) in fact, it was really nice to read when I first saw it. thank you for all your reassurances, you have no idea the wonders it did for me.

thank you for your kindness, im genuinely really grateful for all this understanding. there's a lot of stuff that I've been forced to deal with lately and while the current issue is thankfully over, I know another one is bound to pop up soon. It's okay, though! I'll manage, it'll just take some time. I hope you guys can forgive me for going silent on occasion... I'm still here! Just busy.

Honestly I've been a little more comfortable on this sideblog than on shkingpardigm... that blog has a great deal of followers and while I will always be grateful for it, admittedly I've been more cautious. I always worry about saying the wrong thing, haha... (I find I still do very often though) The rapid growth of that blog was both fascinating and startling. Now that it's become bigger, I've been worried about whether or not my passion for ALNST is enough. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get to all the requests and thoughts shared with me over there, but I really hope to answer eventually because I want to honor the time and effort others spent into writing them. It's just been so much lately, and I can barely find the right words anymore. I almost always feel guilty for posting when I haven't answered them yet, especially since I love reading them and am really grateful to receive them.

It's been a little easier on here, where I've been creating my own things and sharing these creations with others, building our things around each other and such. Thank you all for being so wonderful and kind.

I hope this doesn't come off as me being ungrateful. I've been worried about voicing these thoughts for a while because I know how disheartening it may sound. I love ALNST, I love every ask and submission I receive no matter if it's a few short words or entire lengthy essays, and I love sharing thoughts and creations with others. There's just so much I want to do and so little time, so little energy I have left especially with my degrading health. All I can do at this point is ask for patience and forgiveness. Me bones don't work like they used to, youngsters.... arghhh my back.... my scoliosis..... my debts..

Once again, still here! Always will be (menacingly), just don't be too worried if I disappear sometimes!! That's me going out there and fighting the Horrors™. I always feel such a sense of joy and relief when I come back to Tumblr and see everyone's posts and creations (ALNST or OC or anything, really). It's like a reprieve for me, seeing all the new things that have been posted.

Thanks again for all your concern and support, I want you guys to know that I return it tenfold and hope you take care of yourselves as well. All the same applies to you! Take a step back whenever necessary, always prioritize yourself and know that you aren't pressured or expected of anything. You will still be loved and cared for no matter what! Always take your time and do what makes you happy :) <3

[solomons-poison]

Hi Tarren :D! I would like to request Geto Suguru + 7. 'sharing a kiss after not seeing them for an extended period of time' from the soft kissing prompts because I feel like it has been a long time since I've seen him voiced and animated :') But we'll be seeing more of him next month so this would also be a nice build-up to it >w< Please and thank you in advance <3

Oooh you're giving me a hard one haha. I'm not very good at writing Geto, I don't have as much of a handle on his personality compared to the others but I hope this is good! This also got really angsty, and not very soft, I'm so sorry... 😅

(Requests now closed upon posting this, but feel free to check out the prompt list linked below!)

Geto Suguru x GN!reader

♡ sharing a kiss after not seeing them for an extended period of time

Geto liked to disappear often. Where to, you didn't know, and you knew better than to ask, given your line of work and his history. He did it even before you started dating, and honestly, it probably should have been enough of a red flag for you to reject him when he tried to court you. But his levels of charisma were just too powerful, it was always impossible to say no to him. So what could you do but accept?

It shouldn't have surprised you, but even after you two started dating, the disappearances continued. It was usually just for a few days at a time, but when it happened, he was completely unreachable, practically gone off the face of the earth. He never volunteered information when he returned, and you didn't ask, just settling into a kind of routine. It made it a bit easier to pretend everything was okay, that he wasn't doing something questionable or perhaps even dangerous. And when he came back to your arms, the way he poured his passion into you made you forget to be worried, at least for a little while.

This time, however, was the longest your boyfriend had been gone yet. You weren't sure if you should go to the police, or risk going to your colleagues, or what they could even do about it. As days passed and he didn't show, didn't send you any kind of message, a feeling of dread formed a ball in your stomach, hard and heavy. You weren't even sure, at one point, when you'd last seen him, if it'd been weeks, maybe even months. All you could do was keep moving, keep your mind occupied on anything but your missing lover, before you got overwhelmed with a thousand what-ifs.

You got used to the silence, occasionally putting on the TV or music to fill up the space, make it feel a little less lonely. That's why, when you heard the lock to your apartment begin to turn, something heavy and metal fumbling against the door, your head instantly snapped up at the unexpected sound. Your body moved before you were even aware, creeping towards your front door in anticipation of who would show on the other side. It shouldn't have surprised you, seeing the tall figure on the other side, long dark hair pulled back into his signature bun. But your mind was still reeling as Geto looked back, the same surprise missing on his face, like he knew you'd be waiting for him.

No words could form, your mouth failing to voice all the questions that popped up in your mind, but it didn't matter. Not when Geto was letting the door fall shut as he wrapped you in his embrace, his lips cold from what you hoped was just the outside, slotting against yours urgently. He was holding you tight, almost painful, like you were his last tether to this world, and you had a feeling it was true. You couldn't be sure how long this would last, the next time that he'd disappear, or if he'd even come back. So you just held on tighter, giving in to his kisses, pouring your warmth and your love into him in the hopes that something would take root, anchor him here with you.

—

Send me a type of kiss and a character!

[midnightexpressproductions]

An announcement and a thank you.

Oof, it’s been quite some time since I last posted something, huh? I can't believe it's been almost half a year since I last updated anything. My sincerest apologies for disappearing so suddenly. I promise that this account isn’t dead. However, you might have noticed that all of my posts are gone.

Let me explain.

So not to go into too much detail but some stuff -personal and work related- came up in my life, which has made it super hard to continue writing and coding for Lazarus Syndrome. I’m finally in a better place (both mentally and emotionally) where I feel like I can get back into writing. However, it’s still hard for me to separate the emotions I’ve been dealing with from Lazarus Syndrome. After taking some time and putting it into serious consideration, I’ve finally come to the hard decision to put an indefinite hiatus on Lazarus Syndrome. I know some of you might be upset to hear that but right now, for my own mental health, I can’t continue working on it.  

That doesn’t mean that I’m quitting writing or deleting this account. I’ve missed writing and I’ve missed all of you lovelies! Even though Lazarus Syndrome is going to be put on the backburner for a while, I’ve got some other stuff planned that I’m excited to share with you all. 

Which brings us to the next part of this announcement. 

I’ve started a new project! Well, two actually. And they’re very near and dear to my heart. I’ve actually been working on them both ever since I was in junior high. And getting back into working on them the past two months has honestly been so refreshing. I feel like I'm finally writing for myself. I'm so excited to start writing again!

 The first project is a fantasy novel. I'll be working on that on the side and I might make a few updates on it here and there or answer any questions if they pop up but I’ll try to keep this account strictly for my IF projects.

The second project is a story that I’ve actually decided to rework into an IF. I just fell in love with all of the characters and the world is so expansive that I figured why not change things up? I'll be making more posts about that later on so keep an eye out for it.

Being mushy and sharing stuff like this is not something I’m used to but I just wanted to let all of you lovelies know what's been going on and what will happen in the future.

I also want to let all of you know that from the bottom of my heart, I’m truly grateful for all of your continued support. I treasure each and everyone of you guys.

[lovesick-boyz]

hi.

well… after being stalked and harassed for the past couple of months, i am finally back!! stay tuned lol i got some fics lined up for y’all 😁

anyway if you read that first line and thought to yourself “WTF?!?”, here is the full story for my curious readers (just a warning, it’s long and i rant a lot):

a couple of months ago, i started getting tagged by random accs on tiktok and insta that posted vids accusing me of the most random and heinous shit. honestly, it just baffled me the first time i saw them bc they made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

when the first ones popped up, i just blocked them thinking it was a random troll and went on with my life.

but then i kept getting spammed by other accs with new posts where they not only involved me but also my friends, and accused us as a friend group of being horrible ppl.

i had enough (i can’t even remember how many accs i blocked) and deleted ALL my social media apps for a while (i.e. more than a couple of months, oops) and basically isolated myself from ppl so that i could focus on other things to distract me (i ended up making daily exercise a habit so ig that’s one good thing that’s come out of this lol, i also rewatched all the marvel movies in timeline order hehe). i wish i continued writing so i could’ve at least had more content to share by now, but i was feeling so negative and pissed that i couldn’t even bring myself to write anything (i even uninstalled notion from my phone and that’s where i keep all my drafts and fic ideas)

i only found out the full situation less than a week ago when i reinstalled tiktok bc i missed it, only to find more burner accs harassing me. i finally had enough so i reinstalled insta to rant about it on my spam acc for my friends to see and to my surprise a couple of them knew who it was and explained the whole situation to me.

it was my first time interacting with ppl outside of my family in months lol, when i tell y’all i isolated myself i really did mean it 🙃 my irl friends didn’t even know anything out of the ordinary was happening bc i’m notorious in my friend group for going off the grid for months at a time bc of how bad my mental health gets sometimes, they know to just let me be and let me deal with it alone bc they understand that’s how i work best. (they won’t see this bc they don’t know this tumblr exists but i wanna apologise to my dear friends for my disappearing acts, my bad, i love y’all for being so understanding and still being my friend after all this time 🫶🏼)

anyway, it turns out the culprit was this guy that my friend had rejected previously and he’s so bitter and hateful that he decided to harass me bc he knew i was one of her bffs (the ppl he targeted were the ones in her closest friend group which included me)

but here’s the kicker: I’VE ONLY TALKED TO THIS GUY TWICE!! AND EACH TIME WE TALKED FOR LESS THAN 5 MINS ABOUT IRRELEVANT SHIT!!! WHY AM I INVOLVED?? YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!

when my friend found out she was so surprised and appalled that he was harassing me too, bc him, my friend, and the other ppl he targeted all go to the same college together (and i’m the only one in the friend group that goes to a different college, so to reiterate once again: this guy barely knows me! the last time we spoke was at my friends bday party 3 years ago!! he’s literally insane!)

she knew he was harassing my other friends since they’re all in the same school and know him in person, she didn’t think i would be involved too and i couldn’t believe i was.

anyway, i just wanted to rant about this whole thing bc i’m having a hard time processing it tbh. i hope that guy rots in hell and also finds a job there bc he was acting hella unemployed like who has time for this? he made me feel so confused and paranoid for weeks and i hope he gets all the karma he deserves in the universe.

y’all wanna know something funny tho? i started writing a changmin stalker fic in june, way before this whole situation happened. life imitates art ig 🤪 anyway i finally finished it and i’m gonna release that fic next after i fine tune it, at least now it’ll be somewhat realistic lmaoooo

[slasherlaurie]

Hi everyone, your friend Laurie is back!! I don’t really know how to start this so I’m getting right into it but summary for babes who cbf (honestly same lol). If you’re the anon who kept popping into my inbox with kindness in the months I was gone PLEASE read the edit at the end.

TLDR: I’m back and I’m writing again! Things will be different but I’m figuring it out as I go. Hope you stick around <3

First of all, I’d like to apologize for my months of disappearances with no explanation. I know that was probably very frustrating for people who had requests or were waiting for more posts. Since the start of this year I’ve been horribly overwhelmed with irl stuff which I won’t get into for the sake of keeping heavy subjects out of this update, but I’ve finally been able to get some free time to get back to the things I love. Which moves me onto the next talking point.

I really have missed this blog and writing, but I think I need to go about it a different way. I put too much pressure on myself to fulfill requests without flaw and in a timely manner that I pushed myself into burnout, and so I’ve been thinking about how to do this the past couple of days. First of all, I’m deleting all requests in my inbox while I figure out what I wanna do. My inbox will still be open for a little while, but please don’t expect me to get around to it. I likely won’t do all of them, but I will make a post about it if I do stick with a request. I’m sorry to anyone who had a request or something in my drafts, I understand if this is upsetting.

I think from now on I’m mostly going to post when I’m inspired, maybe every once a month or so on average. The time pressure of someone waiting for me to churn something out really turned me away from writing so at least for a while I’m going to be completely unscheduled with my posting. Again, I’m very sorry to anyone who had a request in.

As well as this, I’d taken a BIG break from dead by daylight. Not only because of the irl stuff I mentioned making me too busy, but also because I kinda lost my love for the game and the characters. Thankfully, my feelings about it have been rekindled, and I’m really excited to return to the community.

Lastly, to my friends I’ve made through this blog. I’m so so sorry for disappearing and cutting people off, I know it doesn’t excuse it but I’ve been so socially overwhelmed the past couple of months that I’ve neglected to keep up with my online friends. I hope you can understand I wouldn’t have ghosted anyone without warning if I could’ve, but the circumstances made a lot of things extremely stressful at the time.

Sorry for this post being a bit serious, I’m not really sure how to cover everything without sounding like a bunch of excuses otherwise. Also I wrote this in my notes app at like 2am and copy pasted it here so I apologize for the messy format 😭 ily all and I’ve missed you!

edit: To the anon who kept leaving supportive messages in my inbox despite my absence, I appreciate you beyond words you are a REAL one <333 Whoever you are ilysm and I’m so sorry I didn’t see them earlier!!

[ikigaitsuki]

hello! here’s a small update

i keep seeing new followers and interactions and anons so i thought id actually take a second to finally give some sort of “what’s been going on in gai’s world”

to start, i can’t remember the last time i even wrote. it’s been over a year, i know that. to still have regular interactions from followers old and new is very lovely - i appreciate it so much.

i know there’s things i’ve written here that people have been waiting forever practically for the second parts. i honestly didn’t think id ever come back to finish them.

a part of me wanted to disappear from here entirely and another part really appreciated this little space i’d created. there’s been a lot of my favourite mutuals slowly leaving this platform and it becomes very isolating when you’re funnelling out work and not maintaining these online relationships.

however, writing is something i want to get back into. it’s hard, because i’m really living an adult life now and the time i have is just not what i had when i first started this account. i can’t say “hey, i’ll write again in 3 days, months, years”, i have no time frame. im also not as into the whole kpop scene as i used to be, which makes inspiration pretty bleak for me. our interests fluctuate though i suppose!

if i ever wanted to give this up completely though, you’d know about it. there’d be some post like this where i’m saying goodbye or something lmao. that’s not happening.

i’m so entirely grateful for the people that continue to give me even the smallest feeling of “ok yes i can get back into this” because that’s so huge for me. id love to write again and make stories for the people who want to read what i have to say. im not sure if i sound dramatic but being able to give to you my creative outlet is just so massive. i’m giving you my creative mind, and that is so vulnerable. my work is always so well received, and people have such lovely things to say. thank you.

i’ve also had major indexing issues with this account. so posting has been hard because nobody actually sees it? i’m actually a major loser when it comes to technology and so messing around with coding and stuff just knocked the life out of me - another reason why i just gave up a little with writing. it’s not about having thousands of notes, but when you’re posting and nobody is going to see it apart from through reposting (which i assume people are still abysmal at) it’s just not motivating.

anyways, i’m not sure if this is something that people will read and feel happy over, but nonetheless i’m putting it out there. in not going awol, im in the process of discovering what i want to do going forward.

if you’re reading this, thank you, always. and don’t forget, you can message me, send me an anon, do whatever! i don’t bite. you might not see me active every day here but i pop by regularly.

- gai

[amhrosina]

baby rosi i love when you do your ✨disappearing act✨ because it means youre brewing either the most delicious or most heartbreaking fics imaginable

LOL

right now i'm in the editing stage for the first few chapters of a new frank series i'm writing

i have the entire series mapped out in like multiple different documents all over the place and i honestly feel like that one picture of charlie from IASIP in front of the cork board with all the red string and he looks like he's on the verge of an absolute meltdown

i'd say it's the most accurate depiction of my headspace currently. i want to post the prologue and first chapter soon, but ideas for further development keep popping in my head at random times (i literally got out of the shower mid-shampoo the other day to write something in my notes) and i want it to be the best work i've ever published for some reason??? like i want to really really be proud of it, so i'm just making little polishes here and there and hoping they'll be ready to publish soon!!

i love you all and will be seeing y'all very soon!!! (i have the cover done, should i post it??? it's sad af but i love her sm)

[koscheicore]

*appears*

(imagine that one random time-lord in The Autons, floating mid-air)

Greetings once again,

Some more questions for you, because THOSCHEI, THOSCHEI, THOSCH-…..

Prepare yourself for a barrage of questions! (No pressure ofc)

Commencing in three, two, one..

*explosion*

1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 11, 12, 17

21 - Headcanons for your favourite ainley pairing

24 – gimme more info about the thoschei fan incarnations that occasionally pop up on your feeds. It is vital information!!!

*looks around at the impact caused by the questions*

Whoops

Have a good day/week! :)

*disappears*

SO IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG, THAT TIMELORD... That makes sense! Thank you so much for all the quest- (loud explosion) AAAAH!

(sooo prepare for a very long post 🤣)

1. How did you get into thoschei?

(gets out from under the table) Uhhh has the noise stopped? Yea. Okay. So it all started when I heard a rhythm of four beats?? And then I think my brain got infected. All I could think about is some sad pathetic aliens hugging each other and I guess one was dead and??? then he wasn't? Yeah so I saw tensimm and I got obsessed. That was, if my calculations are correct, about 8 years ago.

2. What is your favourite thoschei flavour?

At the moment it's fiveainley! Or sevencrispy...

3. What is, in your opinion, the most toxic thoschei dynamic?

Why did I even make this question. All of them there's no salvaging the toxicity. Uhh imma go with tensimm or spydoc though

5. Any fan content recommendations?

Honestly THBU it's just. Sublime. Okay so I might have been about to cry just one chapter in? Yeah??

Also Please Attend Carefully if you want podcasts abt the Master because who doesn't.

Now, that's all sfw but on the spicy smut side, here's a fiveainley fic that plays with hypnosis. I found it interesting how the author wrote it in first person, and their Ainley voice is just fantastic. Make sure to read the tags first though!

Do also check the ppl I reblog from's profiles some of them have AO3 accts I plan on munching on when I can!

8. Favourite thoschei story?

Honestly the Master audio atm. Or the Five Doctors cuz it's really funny to see Ainley TRY... just really try... Btw 1st Doctor x Ainley!Master when

Ngl I have to rewatch all the nuwho episodes w the master on it so my thoughts might change. These two stories are consuming my brain rn

9. Favourite thing they have said canonically to each other?

"Wonder what I'd be without you"

"Yeah."

And this

11. Song that reminds me of them?

I want to make an animatic with this so badly

12. Any thoschei headcanons?

My most heartfelt headcanon for them is this if it even counts as one 🤔

17. What's an underrated thoschei pairing?

SIXAINLEY FFS SIXAINLEY IS SO UNDERRATED. More of them pls...

21. Headcanons for your favourite Ainley pairing

No I'm not picking just one >:0

Fiveainley:

-In my head the Master contacted Fivey after the whole cheetah stuff in hopes he could help him. Not talking abt how good or bad that went but Fivey can't remember anyways.

-The Master loves the smell of Fivey's sweaters. Anytime he's entered his TARDIS he's stolen a few. Fivey still doesn't know where they went.

-Oh it's definitely Ainley!Master's fault the Doctor's regenerations became weirder. Yeah after what he did to Fivey he just messed them up. Like Fivey's legs. Hey, if the Master is having trouble being in a Trakenite body it's only fair, right?

Sixainley:

-The most likely pair to do spicy stuff actually. They're both into BDSM although probably not in a sexual context exactly. No I won't elaborate

-The cat pin? Yeah that's something the cheetah Master left in the TARDIS during that Fivey visit. Six just doesn't know. The Master finds it amusing.

-The Rani has tried to block all contact with the Master because he keeps calling her to talk about his latest plan to kill the Doctor. She's so tired.

Oneainley:

-The Master actually visited 1 on a few occasions during the Doctor's past after the events of the Five Doctors, wearing disguises of course so he wouldn't recognise him later.

-He invited him to lunch and they conversed. The Master finds this Doctor kind of endearing in a way, he's the closest he has to things being alright between them anyways. Just some quiet conversations, no mention of the Master or Gallifrey. No murder intent, they just were. Two "strangers" sharing lunch having candid intellectual conversations.

-Eventually, he stopped. Why? I leave that to your imagination.

24. Talk abt your fan Doctor and Master incarnations

OKOK IM GLAD YOU ASKED... So I met this classmate who's a dw fan and as we became friends he told me he had his own fan Doctor incarnation. Eventually we started LARPing for fun and I made my own Master, then we started making up tons of stories and that's how they came to be!

ONE DAY HOWEVER... He said. What if the Master and the Doctor were bigenerated?? Yeah from the same entity but the Time Lords erased their memories. And Dhawan!Master knew this but that one bit he never told, the Doctor never uncovered it, and this is part of why Dhawan wanted to become the Doctor. And boy this broke my heart because thE IMPLICATIONS. That'd mean the Master is ALSO the Timeless Child. So now that's canon for my Master and surprise, it's been selfcest all this time except not exactly because they are not the same anymore and they can never be.

So based off that, my Master loves to make a point on how different they are whilst his Doctor searches for similarities instead when he learns this. My Master is convinced that they're destined to be the worst parts of the Doctor forever, whilst the Doctor got "the better part". So why would they make it easy for him? Gallifrey is gone anyways so let's prove they can never be the same. Let's prove they're DONE. And they're immortal too I guess so why conform with having nothing no. They're owed the Universe and they're not sharing. Meanwhile the Doctor is wondering what would be of the Master if they had lived anything similar than what they did, if they're actually the same, if there's any kindness left on them, if they could have become the Master... He's stuck on his past in a way, too, missing companions and simpler times and stuff. And I intend to destroy his hopes of truly enjoying his current self you know?

...so yeah uh we also have companions we're making and we're slowly developing all of this + some random "episodes" (plots. that is) and one of them is Dak. Dak is well, kind of a Dalek kind of not. I have no idea how this happened he hasn't told me yet but apparently Dak has the genes of one of his companions? His mind when he was a child. So he's like a curious kid travelling with the Doctor except he's got Dalek Issues (tm) and I have such awful plans for him I'm so sorry little Dak ily but Daleks can never be good you know ☺️☺️ And I also have my subconscious eating beings that hate the Master for reasons but shhh. My friend doesn't know yet.

Anyways here's my Master treating the Doctor with love as usual

-----

Hey... hey. Wait. Don't go! *looks around* Uh... who will help me pay for all the repairs??? 😭

ALSO thank you so much for that twogado recommendation I will proceed to scream