#honestly i just believe he is a human but overpowered

[teeto-peteto]

i recently changed my league's summoner name as Riot changed all of their players name to their Riot ID'S and i got it changed to something Pyke related, wich oddly made the randoms i play with ask questions on champ select or just say silly stuff wich is fun. Didnt take screenshot but it will help us for the topic today: What the fuck is even Pyke.

It is mentioned that he is an undead, but that he is also a ghost, but that is also technically just a human with supernatural powers. So lets see.

Reasons why Pyke is an undead/zombie (by pop culture meaning):

Technically came back from the death so, good

Has a bloodflow, althrough there are some zombies in some media that do not have one.

There's that one thing people often say that Pyke is always cold to the touch, but i normally dont take it as granted cause i dont remember or recall it being said on canon. But i'll take a grip on it for today.

Reasons why Pyke is a ghost (or some type of ghost mixed with undeadness i guess):

Can go through walls and structures.

Can swim on air, dissapear, vanish, etc.

Not sure but there might be a possibility that canon Pyke does also see ghosts around him. Else its just him recalling his trauma and his killings.

Reasons why Pyke is still a human (or a superhuman, at least):

Has a bloodflow.

It is never mentioned on Ruined King that he does not eat, but it is mentioned that he doesnt sleep much.

Not invincible, in that one audioreading of Bilgewater Legends we can hear the protagonist suscessfully hurting Pyke or at least leaving him stunned enough to fall on his back to the sea.

Has a conscient mind, wich is not something pop culture undeads use to have. I never asked an undead from when pirates existed, though *shrugs*

So taking all these in consideration, my conclusion is: Neither i have a fucking clue what Pyke is.

[saccharinescorpion]

i've been debating on whether to post about this but what the hell, it's relevant both to today's episode and the topic of people trying to smooth over the flaws of Dungeon Meshi characters.... so, uh, remember what i said yesterday about Laios forgetting the basics of human decency when interacting with Izutsumi

i was intially worried about people reading this scene in uhh certain ways but was thankful to see most fans were chill with it... before i realized that. uh. maybe people were being a little too chill

okay............ so,

1. for the record: i believe that it is clear from what we know about him and what we know about the entire series as a whole that, yes, Laios didn't have "untoward" intentions towards Izutsumi in this scene. there's even an aside in Izutsumi's profile in the Adventurer's Bible that says as much. he likely saw it in basically the same way Falin did when she was observing the reproductive organs of the caterpillar in that one scene. FOR THE RECORD this excuse would basically never fly in real life, but for Laios, it actually honestly makes sense... he has a habit of ignoring people's boundaries, he gets ahead of himself when it comes to learning about monsters... he didn't have bad intentions, no, but it doesn't change the fact that he's an adult man (not a [my face contorts with a great pain] "curious boy") who was being really invasive about a teenage girl's body. it was weird. it was 100% weird, lmao, i don't think fans are "lacking media literacy" by saying "uh yeah that was kind of creepy and inappropriate of Laios"

2. and i also don't think it's villifying ND people to say that. if i were to be honest, i would argue the whole "he's just a curious boy :(" thing is a lot more offensive to neurodivergent people. Laios clearly knows about the concept of bodily autonomy- he felt weird and bad about touching Marcille and Senshi in "intimate" ways just to heal them. literally one scene after this one he expresses embarassment about accidentally touching the leg of (who he thinks to be) Marcille. he very obviously possesses the capacity to understand why it would be inappropriate to observe a stranger's body like they were an animal. i can accept the explanation that his monster curiosity temporarily overpowered his "oh actually maybe i shouldn't try to get up close and person with this teenager who i literally just met," but that doesn't change that he had to be restrained from doing that. i'm not even saying he's a "bad person" or anything because of this scene- i just am baffled at the idea of fans being presented with the slightest bit of messiness (he was creepy to a young girl, however unintentionally) and jumping to try and "justify" it (he's just silly, he's socially awkward, he's autistic, he's a Curious Boy) and even mock others who rightfully point out that that was uncomfortable behavior. Laios was creepy to Izutsumi. he didn't mean to, but he did (and to be quite frank he was lucky to get off with a smack from Chilchuck and a blindfold)

3. "I would also ask" excuse me?

[maespri]

oh my i never really saw myself making a post like this, but i really wanna talk about morgana! more specifically… why i don’t really understand the hate he receives.

for starters, i know a lot of people dislike mona because he gets on ryuji’s case often. his squabbling with ryuji can get hurtful at times too, i know, but i feel like so many people conveniently leave out the fact that… ryuji returns fire? it’s not as though mona is constantly attacking poor ryuji who can’t defend himself; it’s a two-sided fight throughout most of the game. both of them are constantly fueling the fire. not to mention, it’s a fight that eventually ends. both individuals have great character development (i could talk about it for /ages/, but i digress) that ends with their fighting essentially ceasing entirely. they’re both dumb teenage boys, they both said dumb stuff to each other, and they both hurt each other, and all of that is recognized and left in the past.

the hatred toward mona in general is something i struggle to understand entirely. you hate this cat because he tells you to go to bed? the game would have told you to do that one way or another, because it’s a game. there have to be constraints, or you’d get terribly overpowered incredibly fast. i wholeheartedly agree that mona’s lacking in comparison to the other characters in many ways- but i’ve never hated him, and was surprised to see a lot of people did.

maybe i’m just weirdly empathetic toward fictional characters, but i really liked his storyline. mona’s been with the protagonist since day one, helping him out, staying with him, encouraging and supporting him in everything he does, navigating them through mementos and palaces and battles… and he’s never really appreciated for any of it. obviously, the other phantom thieves do the same and don’t require any extra praise, but morgana already has a complex stemming from the fact that he’s not human. inherently, he believes he’s not nearly as good as any of the others, and subsequently, that he isn’t good enough in general- and he’s so ashamed of that that he can’t even voice the concern to the protagonist pre-okumura’s palace. it made sense to me when he snapped and ran away; if you were constantly the black sheep of a group, unable to engage with anyone unless the guy you live with is always there as well, wouldn’t you yearn for autonomy too? (don’t even get me started on the haru parallels there; there’s a reason morgana snapped during the okumura arc.) if you felt expendable and there wasn’t ever an effort made to prove otherwise, purposeful or not, wouldn’t you also want to leave? to spare both yourself, and the people you’re leaving? i really liked his arc because it led to two realizations- that he was pivotal to the group, and it was fine if he ended up not being a human. (and honestly, he was pivotal to my group… who else would i use to heal everyone outside of battle…!)

anyway, his objectification of women was weird. didn’t like that. but this is a JRPG, and he’s not the only one who does strange things like that at times (why was ryuji looking at ann’s chest in the mona bus outside futaba’s palace man…). honestly, his flirting was also weird at times, but as long as it never got strangely sexual, i didn’t really mind? it’s not like it ever genuinely bothers ann either as far as i remember. it’s more just a stupid thing he does.

anyway… i dunno. i like the kitty. he’s silly, he kept me company, and he made my playthrough fun. life is so much more beautiful when you carry love in your heart rather than resentment

[remotepixel]

Hi! Can you write the Avengers with a demon reader? Maybe just a weak and very young demon who is looking for people to sign contracts for their souls

Hii! Thank you for requesting!

While writing this I was honestly just thinking of hazbin hotel, so if I mention 'Hell' I'm talking about that kinda version, not the religiously-accurate one for eternal punitive suffering lol <3

TW: yandere themes

-The Avengers assumed you were a threat the second they heard about a supposed demon running around nyc, asking people for their souls. They’ve dealt with numerous different supernatural beings - aliens, gods, simply superpowered individuals - but this was another level of insanity. I can imagine Steve, the Catholic man he is, just ‘😨’ the second he found out.

-But all that suspense died the second they saw you…a child?

-Obviously, past all the confusion, you’re taken into the Avenger's tower/compound for light questioning. They've got to make sure you’re an actual demon first, just in case they’re kidnapping someone’s kid who decided to dress up early for Halloween. However, when it’s revealed that you really are one, and supposedly have powers, you'd be made to live in the tower with the others - safety and all that (definitely not for the plot).

-Despite being a demon, your age and weakness will be the main factor for their obsession to start. You being young makes it easier for them to justify their overprotectiveness. You need to someone to look after you, teach you, and it only makes sense that they would take up that mantle. Sure, they might not have lessons in parenting (expect Clint) but there isn’t many other superpowered people in the world, and they knew how desperate some people could be to get power. Being young means you’re more likely to ignore any red flags or know the signs of manipulation, and they’re convinced you wouldn’t be able to fight back anyways.

-I don’t think they would actually try and help you with your powers though. Apart from basic self-defence classes, they want to keep you reliant on them for as long as possible. You could likely overpower most of them at full potential, and where would that lead them? Would you forget about them? Ignore their advice and throw yourself into battle like they do? It isn’t worth it.

-If you’re really insistent about it, they may let you mess about a bit. Though, that’s mainly if your powers are unstable/out of control and training is needed. And, again, it would only be enough to keep you safe and remain weaker than them.

-I get the vibe some of them won’t take your title of a demon seriously in general - Steve’s coming to mind first. Like I mentioned, the guy’s religious and, since you probably go against his years-old assumption of a demon, he wouldn’t fully think of you as one, even though it was proved. You’re more of a superpowered, human kid in his eyes.

-Tony would treat it more like an inside joke than a fact. Like, he’d make stupid nicknames about your Hellish bloodline, but he’d ignore any genuine conversations about it. It’s just hard for him to image that you are some ‘fallen, evil angel’….so he doesn’t.

-Natasha wouldn’t be too fussed about it. It’s not that she doesn’t believe you, but your exact species doesn’t matter too much to her - she’ll like you either way. She’ll listen to any fun facts you want to tell her about Hell (assuming you were born and raised there) or demons in general. Clint is in a similar boat. Although he might tease you about it sometimes, Natasha would probably tell him to shush if it went too far and you seemed upset.

-Bruce would be a bit hesitant. Due to how the Hulk affected him (physically and the guilt), I think he may be a bit worried that your ‘evil’ blood would lead to you actually becoming a stereotypical demon later on, even if you try to fight that side of you. But, he’ll likely calm down a bit when he starts getting to know you more, and would lean towards the middle like Natasha and Clint. He’d probably be interested in learning and logging your abilities, both as he’s curious and it’s useful to know if anything goes wrong.

-Thor would be the only genuinely happy one. He’s probably met countless difference species/races on different planets, so you not being human isn’t odd to him - it fact, it just brings you two closer together. If he’s able to, he would probably take you back to the underworld for a day. Of course, he’d forget to tell the others though and lead to an unneeded, frantic search party.

-I wouldn’t put it past at least one of them to sell their soul to you - whether for funzie or they don’t fully believe how bad it could be. Like, if they don’t take you as a demon seriously anyways, they’re not going to take your little contract seriously either.

-I was thinking mostly Tony, due to his habit of speaking before thinking, but Thor would likely do so as well. He’s not necessarily stupid, but Asgard probably has different beliefs, and thus he thinks of your contract as a cultural, non-Midgard thing rather than ‘i’m actually taking your soul’ thing.

-Either way, all of them are planning to stay by your side infinitely, contract or not : )

[griseldagimpel]

Why Basira Hussain in The Magnus Archives Isn't Textually Muslim

I've noted before that Basira Hussain in The Magnus Archives isn't textually Muslim and is implied not to have strong religious faith. And it is religious faith I want to talk about in this post. Basira may very well come from a Muslim cultural background. But she isn't depicted as a capital B Believer.

Let's start with: a character's background - of any and every sort - is going to have some kind of impact on that character. The specifics of that impact will vary - there is no universal experience of anything - and the extend of the impact will be affected by the specifics of the story they are inhabiting. But a character's background shouldn't just be garnish.

With The Magnus Archives, it's a story that deeply involves religion and religious faith, what with the fear entities being worshiped as gods and all. And that means that characters' non-fear-god religious background comes up more than it might in another narrative. Thus, we get stuff like Eugene opining that the Cult of the Lightless Flame shouldn't just imitate Christianity and Martin & Jon discussing whether the Christian God is a force they can invoke.

As such, the fact that religion never comes up with Basira - when it comes up with so many other characters in the story - leads me to believe that she doesn't have a strong religious background.

Are you following me so far?

Right. So why is this? Why did the creative team make this creative decision?

Well, it's because of season five.

The fourth season ends with the fear apocalypse beginning, and then throughout all of season five, no deity intervenes to stop the fear apocalypse. (Well, unless you want to argue this was the case with Georgie and Melanie's immunity, and there, yeah, I think from an in-story perspective their cult's pretty justified, honestly.)

We spend most of the our time with Jon & Martin, who explicitly come from culturally Christian backgrounds but don't have particularly strong Christian faith themselves and predominantly experience religion in the context of the fear gods. Then there's Basira, Georgie, and Melanie.

The goal of the fifth season is the stop the fear apocalypse, which the characters do, and then the series quickly ends. And the sequel series is over there in a whole different parallel universe.

Because, look, even after being undone, the fear apocalypse was going to fuck with a lot of humanity's religious faith (or lack there of!) something fierce. Gods are real but also they're monsters and also no other god intervened.

That's...a lot.

Basira's doesn't have strong religious faith because if she did, she'd have to process season five through the lens of her religion.

And that's...a lot.

And the creative team wanted Basira's story arc to be about her confronting the harm she and Daisy did as corrupt cops.

Also, look, a British podcast depicting the Christian God as either probably nonexistent or useless? That's like, whatever. England's got a whole Church of England. Christians in England aren't being persecuted for being Christian. The episode "The Architect of Fear" can have Robert Smirke write, "I am certain the Dread Powers cannot take a soul who keeps faith in the Resurrection." and then drop dead before he can even finish his letter. It's fine.

But a British podcast specifically depicting a Muslim character having to confront that their faith is false?

Muslims in England are a religious minority. They don't have a whole institutionalized Mosque of England behind them.

Yeah, that could easily end up coming off as Jerk Move.

Not saying that it couldn't be done or couldn't make a compelling narrative, but it would be a lot to take on. It would risk overpowering the corrupt cop reckoning character arc. And the creative team would have to tread carefully for it not to be a Jerk Move.

Ergo, it's easier on the creative team for them to just...not have Basira be religiously Muslim.

Relatedly, Melanie and Georgie aren't depicted as strongly religious for similar reasons. Because they're outside of the Eye's power! If either of them had a strong religious faith, the characters would likely be interpreting their exemption as being a reflection of their faith! And that would be another plotline where the creative team would likely feel like they had to tread carefully lest their story come off as Jerk Move. Again, not impossible to pull off. But difficult.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies today

bbhowie asked:

your art is so sensual and sharp, i’m not even in some of the fandoms you draw for but i’m following anyway bc it’s all so hot! thank you for sharing your talent with the world!

I appreciate it so much!! <3 This is such a nice thing to hear, I am very happy that you like my art and enjoy it even if it’s a fanart of things that you don’t really care about.

Thank you for your kind words!

Anonymous asked:

What did Idia do to make Lilia punish him? (Not really a punishment tho, I’d like to be up against the old man’s bare chest too)

(this is about this drawing)

To be honest, I didn’t really think about it much; I guess he was just saying some bratty stuff. I really love it when Idia is being annoying or has no filter, and even though Lilia is usually pretty chill around him or just overpowers him with the sheer dominance that he radiates, I like to think that sometimes he wouldn’t even bother and will just go “JAIL” and shove Idia’s head under his shirt to make him shut up for a moment. The fact that Idia would get flustered and freaked out is a sweet bonus that would make Lilia enjoy himself tremendously~ Totally worth it.

Anonymous asked:

I need to get this off my mind before I combust.

So

Imagine this being the first few weeks of the OctoTrio coming to land and they are exploring their new bodies   , Floyd sees this dick and when he touched it he was exploring a new sensation...... THEN HE SPINS IT AROUND LIKE A HELICOPTER AND IT LIKE "Azul!!!!! Jade!!!!!! COME LOOK AT THIS NEW TRICK I HAVE LEARNED THAT HUMAN BODIES CAN DO"!!!!!

Okay time for my ask now,

So I am the same person about the merman and human sex and if the trio would use a potion to turn their lovers into mermans themselves.

So, I know the twins are into biting ( especially Floyd) , maybe Azul too.

But, would the twins for as far as of biting to "mark" their mates?

I mean like not the light biting, a little bleeding kind.

I mean, they absolutely sink their teeth in, kind of like a devoting type of way when they are biting to make sure it will scar and permanently leave a mark, and absolutely make sure that everyone can see it.

Omg the first part of the ask NOOOO Floyd never should have been entrusted with a dick. This toy is too dangerous, and Floyd will find a way to traumatise everyone around with it both physically and mentally, but also monetary because someone would have to pay a fine for acting inappropriately….

To answer your question, I think Azul bites, but not as much as the tweels: he’s more of a squeezer-pincher, so I guess he would leave bruises instead lol

And the tweels bite A LOT. I’m not sure if this is an eel mermen thing or just the Leech bros thing, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone who is their long-term lover would be covered in deep scars. I guess it’s “marking” in a way? Because there is no way you wouldn’t think it’s Jade and/or Floyd who did it, so of course it’s their way to show who their lover belong to, but they don’t have an instinct inside their heads to “claim” someone. They’ll bite a lot though! I think I always draw them either biting or licking others lol especially Floyd.

Anonymous asked:

merman sex is all well and good, but the real question we should be asking is another: would any of the boys be up to have sex with Jack while he's... you know... using his UM?

You know, Anon… there is this one artist on pixiv who draws beautiful JackVil with this exact theme… so my go-to is always to think of Vil, even though he is probably the one who would be the least expected to be into this type of stuff. I guess Jack is that much of a good boy 😭

I don’t know if any of the boys would actively think about it or even anticipate it, but honestly I want to believe that every boy we ship Jack with would enjoy it to his own surprise. Deuce got spooked by just a knot, imagine him getting the whole package.

[fictionfixations]

masquerade malleus vignette

(spoilers for glorious masquerade)

aww

i refuse to believe lilia is oblivious enough not to notice that they dont like his cooking

..although solomon (from obey me) doesnt notice either iirc, but i mean..

..sebek. in a vignette, you literally got his help in cleaning a stain from malleus' labcoat???

...i never thought id hear azul say those words.... what?????

i dont know how it didnt hit me until now but the only reason rollo's plan in glorious masquerade failed was because he was so insistent on having malleus there and taking away all his power and shit?? like. cause. none of us had enough magic to actually overpower the fire lotuses(? i cant remember what they were called), although yuu would be able to make it through with no magic how could we even fight rollo at the end??

and at the point it reaches malleus and he could do something about it, it'd be too late?? because i REALLY doubt he has enough to reach all of those flowers and with enough to completely fry them out. and i doubt the bell would reach it by then.

silver...

is azul even human?? im like pretty sure-ish he's not human. not even half human. just entirely sea creature with a human-like body to probably be treated more normally and not hunted for sport/food through evolution shit idfk (like. idk im pretty sure its a thing where pets look so much cuter to cause us to take them in and shit.)

anyway im just imagining sebek talking azul's ear off about how great malleus is because he finally has a buddy who understands and therefore would be willing to listen to him talk for hours straight about malleus's greatness. AND APPRECIATE IT. HAUIHDSUIhd and azuls just like ………………….. floyd and jade laughing at him from a distance azul sets sebek on them like 'i think those two should come to learn about malleus's brilliance, don't you think? after all, as my colleagues, it is such a shame that they don't share my admiration for malleus, and i am unsure how to put it into words, as malleus himself is so magnificent that even words fail to describe him properly. so sebek, my fellow appreciator, would you lend me your aid in helping them grow to appreciate his brilliance?' okay i ran out of words and started repeating them because ic ant be bothered to look up for synonyms, im not THAT into it okay

ahhh so it is a fleur city song i wasnt sure. ive read in fics that it was, but it was also those fics where songs either have power, or yuu knows a bunch of disney songs that are considered 'forbidden/forgotten songs' or something like that and i cant remember which it was

actually if they put in all that work beforehand i think i get why they were so insistent on waiting for rollo to either confess or not AFTER the social ball and after they left and everything LMFAO

they suddenly changed into their school uniforms (still in diasomnia)

i honestly wouldnt know if id trust lilia that much but sure (i hope it doesnt turn to perfectionism levels tho)

first time we encounter italicized text i think. huh.

lmfao

oh my god (no but why choose idia at that point?? is it cuz his voice meshes well with them??)

ayoo its playing the make a wish (i think thats what the song is called) instrumental in the bg ive heard it way too many times not to recognize it (and sung along. its so fucking cool)

damn

my hands are actually protesting now ah geez (i took a break)

I GOT SO DISTRACTED BY DEUCE (i was re-experiencing enjoying looking at everyones costumes again) I AM AN IDIOT (its lower in opacity to show you that you're on it in the editor)

ooh

i didnt notice the insert paragraph im sorry lMFAO but id forget if i didnt SS it then

ooh some malleus riddle bonding

AH ITS A YUU JUMPSCARE

that seriously startled me like suddenly i just hear footsteps and then BOOM OPTIONS

ayooo malleus and yuu dancing

(alsoo yuu and deuce dancing :D)

WOOO

okay. now.

i feel like. im doing really good progress tackling all the vignettes (currently in EN. after that's GloMas, & Book 6 and 7. ive been avoiding it because not all of the Backgrounds exist, and GloMas has options with completely different dialogue which I can't see them all. i have three different videos of GloMas gameplay but they dont show all options...). all thats remaining is azul's tsumsitter (i have a vid of his vignette. ..i just dont like doing the tsum ones because i never know how to describe the tsum moving) vil birthday bloom (i FOUND A VIDEO finally oh my god. i love doing birthday vignettes) malleus dorm uniform (I have a vid) sebek new year (i have a vid) grim labcoat (i have a vid)

and then the rabbit costume ones which all of them have vignettes iirc and i have videos for all of them (i actually just found them as i was writing this. thank you god. they have no views tho geez. wonder if that means vil birthday bloom exists in a video but just wont appear. this is future me. ...i have been blessed with vil birthday bloom.)

[frozenjokes]

A Matter Of Fairness Or Maybe Fear

the next part of the mumbomaid au is four separate mini stories that will be posted as one chapter on ao3, but I thought it might be cool to post them separately here (and since this one’s done, I thought I might post it earlier before the rest goes up on ao3 >:D)

This call marked Scar’s 129th over the course of two days, and quite frankly, his persistence was starting to wear at Etho’s resolve. Maybe ‘resolve’ wasn’t quite the right word actually- patience might be better. This marked the sixth day Etho had been stuck in a little outlet away from home, burying himself in the mud day in and day out, and he was really getting sick of it- sick of Joel, actually, and Scar calling him every free moment of the day was getting quite frustrating when he was waiting on messages from Joel.

Etho let it ring. It wouldn’t stop Scar. Yesterday while sending Joel a very long and very angry message, Etho had accidentally declined Call 4 before the first ring concluded, so Scar knew Etho had his phone. Since then, Etho had also accidentally declined Call 7, 68, 70, and 103.

Call 129 ended and Call 130 began. Call 130 did not end before Bdubs rang at the same time, and that hurt, so Etho submerged himself to avoid it. Soon enough, it too was over. Scar’s insistent calling replaced Bdub’s ringtone without pause.

131. 132. 133.

Finally, it stopped, Scar probably running out of time on his work break. Thank god. Etho had enough on his plate without Scar breathing down his neck, but if he was really being honest, being bitter about Scar’s knowledge on his and Joel’s split souls probably wouldn’t change his behavior today. Scar had a habit of spam calling, and Etho did not know him to give up.

Call 134 just a couple of minutes after the 133rd snapped the last remaining thread of Etho’s patience.

Etho pounced on his phone, picking up with a wrathful hiss, “Stop calling me,” before hanging up. After Call 173, Etho was pretty sure this would never end until he grew a pair and answered the phone. With great disdain, he accepted Scar’s call.

“Hello? Etho? Are you there?”

Etho didn’t respond for a while, too busy fuming to speak. “I’m here.”

“Are you in immediate peril? Do you have time to talk?”

“I have time.” Etho spoke every word through gritted teeth. Scar was quiet for a long moment.

“Then hang the fuck up and call Bdubs you fucking asshole. He’s one more anxiety attack away from filing a missing person’s report, and I’m honestly shocked he hasn’t already! He’s convinced you’re dead in a ditch somewhere or kidnapped or something, and I don’t blame him. If you have your phone and you’re not bleeding out on the fucking rocks, there is literally NO REASON you haven’t called him.”

The wind of Scar’s anger left a heavy silence in its wake. Etho wasn’t quite sure how to break it, but he had a feeling Scar wasn’t going to just let him hang up without another word.

“I can’t call him,” he said instead, all too aware that Scar’s assault of his ears would only continue.

“Give me one good reason why you can’t call your best friend and tell him you’re okay. It’s nearly been a week, Etho, come on. The longest you’ve ever been gone at a time is three days, and you told us beforehand. And I swear to god if you say-“

“Scar, I can’t just call him, I’m not human.”

“You don’t have to fucking video call him!”

“I sound different, Scar. I can’t,” Etho insisted, desperation spilling through in sick waves. Scar didn’t get it. How could he make Scar understand? “What if he asks where I am? What am I supposed to tell him? I can’t call him.”

“You do not sound different! At all!”

“I do.”

“I didn’t notice! It can’t be that bad. Over the phone it won’t even matter- I can not believe you’re fighting me on this. Come on.”

“I can’t, Scar,” a soft whistle broke through behind the words, making Etho feel all the more pathetic. He didn’t want to be here. He’d give anything to be home right now, not worried about being seen or overpowered or caught- he’d give anything to go home, eat normal food- He had work too, he had deadlines! He didn’t want to be in this position at all! Etho didn’t- he didn’t want to upset Bdubs either, of course not, but how was he supposed to explain?

“When are you going to be home then, Etho? Because I need to tell him something. I’m going to tell him- at least that you’re okay. Do you even understand what you’re putting him through right now? Would you really rather let him think you’re in trouble than have a difficult conversation with your best friend?”

“I don’t- I don’t know, Scar. This isn’t my fault- it’s not like I want to be away at all! Please don’t.”

“I’m not mad that you’re not home, Etho. I’m mad because you have a phone to call your roommate with and you’re not using it.”

“He’ll ask questions.” Voicing the thought sounded so much worse, so irredeemably meager. He was being selfish, wasn’t he. Scar was right. But Scar didn’t- Scar didn’t understand the fear- the anxiety- How easy it must be for Scar to stand by the sidelines and tell Etho what was right and wrong. He had no idea.

Scar interrupted his train of self righteous anger before it could build further, “Bdubs has every damn right to ask questions! And even then, he probably won’t. He’d do anything to keep from stepping on your toes on issues like this, even when you treat him like shit. I’m serious. This is fucked. This is cruel. Cleo’s worried sick as well- we’re all worried.” Scar stopped with a huff and Etho heard him mess with his hair over the line, “You know what, this is a waste of time. I’m just going to call him.” Scar hung up without another word, lighting a sharp panic in Etho’s chest. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this. But he didn’t want an angry Scar telling Bdubs anything about his situation much more.

He fumbled over Bdubs’ contact, pressing several wrong buttons before finally dialing his number. The phone didn’t even pass the first ring.

“Etho? Hello?” Bdubs spoke, drying the words off Etho’s tongue. Not that he had anything to say in the first place. He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready for this. His mind seemed to dry up as well, leaving nothing but static in the wake of his panic. “Are you there? Etho?” Bdubs’ voice was faint. Terrified.

Sudden guilt wracked his body, physical in its pain like being caught in the middle of a head-on collision. “I’m here,” his voice shook, but he was hardly aware of it, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Bdubs was quiet, the silence crushing, “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.”

Neither of them spoke, tension thrumming through the air just as clear as audible sound. Etho didn’t think he’d ever be able to breathe again. This was so much worse than he’d ever imagined this conversation going, and he had imagined it.

…

Bdubs sobbed, and all at once Etho crumbled. Mermaids didn’t have the right anatomy to cry, but Bdubs didn’t question the strained noises of distress that bubbled out of Etho’s throat. Bdubs never did question anything, did he? Not to do with Etho’s disappearances. Not for years.

That wasn’t really fair at all, was it.

That wasn’t fair at all.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

7+8 of hurt/comfort with glitchy red?

7) "Because nobody cares about me!"

8) "Because I care about you!"

..........

When Red finally managed to escape that game with your help, of course you weren't expecting him to become your best friend right away.

After all, he never really trusted anyone who managed to get ahold of the GBA with the hacked cartridge inside it--the latest person being you.

He thought you were just like the "others": players who'd mess around the code and force him to see things that caused his sentience to begin with..which set him on the path to a torturous existence he didn't ask for.

No matter how much he resisted, they'd always find a way to make the code work in their favor. And because of that, it took him a while to realize that you're only hacking the game to give him a way out. Yet he would still fight back and beg you to stop, insisting there was no point in saving him.

Yet by some miracle...you did.

As now he was in your room, looking down at the GBA and its cracked screen on the floor from which he emerged. It was a shock to see that tiny little machine was his prison since his creation..and to finally stomp on it and crush it to pieces felt liberating.

Except...

He still felt the same anguish as before, even as he stared down at the broken pieces.

You promised him that getting out of the game would bring him peace, and he decided to believe you and trust you, since you genuinely saw him as a person trapped inside that hellish thing.

That being said...why was his heart still full of hatred and misery?

Why didn't he feel better?

But as he began to realize he could actually interact with this world, he took one look at you...

And he felt rage overcome him as you stood there, not saying a word. You were simply surprised that your plan worked, and stunned that of course you managed to free him.

Though Red didn't see it as that at all. He thought you were afraid, or having second guesses.

He still didn't know what your ulterior motives were for helping him. But he firmly believed you were just going to abandon him now that you were "finished", seeing you back towards the door as he approached you.

He couldn't get to any of the players before, but now you two were on the same plane of existence.

This was his chance to exact revenge.

And that's what he did as he lunged at you without warning, easily overpowering you and leaving a deep scratch mark along your torso. It turns out, his glitchiness was still a part of him as he managed to unhinge his jaw and bare his teeth like a wild animal.

He thought being free would make him human...yet he felt the opposite.

"You said you'd fix me, but you LIED!!" He screamed, furious that his voice sounded the same as it always did: ran through a bitcrusher program. "Why do I sound like this still?! Why am I...still broken?!!"

"..R-Red..I..I only said I could help you get out." You tried to reason with the raging glitch that had you pinned against the wall. "I'm sorry if that wasn't enough but-"

"Oh, it was plenty enough." He huffed. "But I guess I should thank you...because now I can take my revenge on you sickos who tormented me for fun."

"I...wasn't tormenting you.."

"Yeah, but you reminded me of all that pain. Honestly..I think freeing me was the stupidest decision of your life-"

"It's true I've made tons of stupid decisions, but..th-that wasn't one of them. I wanted to help you."

Blinking in surprise, Red raised an eyebrow. Though he just scowled at you again, unwilling to let his guard down. "No...you don't mean that. You only freed me so I'd shut up about it...so I'd stop haunting your stupid little game. No sane person would do that out of "kindness"."

"That's not true." You huffed, annoyed that he was refusing to believe you after all you've done. "What makes you assume I don't care-?"

"Because nobody cares about me!!" He snapped. "Nobody has for years, and they never will. So just stop pretending...it'll make this easier for the both of us." His hands went to your throat.

Yet despite knowing he could easily snap your neck, you refused to fight back or even struggle a little bit. And he quickly noticed this, frowning. "What's wrong? Too scared to fight because you know you lost? Because you know you shouldn't have freed this monster?" He taunted.

"You're not a monster-"

"STOP LYING!!"

"...I'm not lying to you, Red." You firmly insisted. "I believed you were a real person from that start. I couldn't leave you in that game to suffer! I spent days trying to figure out the coding. I lost sleep over this, but you still think I don't give a shit, huh?"

Finally, you managed to catch him off-guard with that response. And for the first time...he began to wonder why he was doing this to you.

All you've ever wanted to do was help him.

And this is how he repays you?

Still, he doesn't understand the "why" of it all. Why you'd lose sleep over someone like him..or why you don't seem afraid anymore.

You must've wanted something for sure.

"Why go through all of this for me?"

"Because I care about you!" You blurted out, embarrassed but relieved to get the truth out to him. "I never stopped caring since the day you talked back to me. I-I know I can't make you forget what you've been through...or find the people who made you this way, but...I just wanted to give you a better life in this world. That's all."

"And you...want nothing in return?" Red blinked, feeling himself calming down from his rage.

"Not a thing." You smiled a bit, showing him you were sincere. "I know you're angry and hurt, and I'm an easy target. But I promise I won't leave you like they all did. You can stay with me as long as you want."

"...you won't throw me out?"

"Why would I do that?" Gently, you put your hands over his gloved ones, slowly bringing them away from your neck. But you didn't let go of them, holding them tightly. "But there you have it...that's the real reason I wanted to let you out. So we can be together and you can be happy."

For a while, he didn't say anything back, as he had averted his gaze to the ground. Though moments later you heard a sniffle, which worried you.

Especially when you saw small water droplets splattering onto his shoes.

"Red?"

Reaching over, you gently cupped his face, making him look up at you. Not only was he completely free of glitches...but he was also crying.

At last, he showed vulnerability.

"It's okay," you reassured him, happy that he was finally willing to trust you. "You're safe now. You won't be abandoned ever again."

Tears streamed down his cheeks, some of which you gently brushed away with your thumb. He sniffled again and nuzzled against your palm, slowly becoming addicted to this feeling of comfort.

It was so foreign...yet it felt so right.

"..s-sorry, now I feel like an asshole after all that stuff you said." Closing his eyes, he just tried focusing on your kind touches, trying to forget about all the pain he endured. "It just..hurts so much. I'm tired.."

His head fell against your shoulder, but you just rubbed the back of it, letting him rest for as long as he needed to.

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

when reading this keep in mind that A) i dont know much about your oc Phoenix or the other fics and B) i strongly believe that stories cant exist without confict of some sort. love triangle, war, homework is due tomorrow and u havent started, if there isnt an issue there isnt a story

about the Phoenix reader situation, i dont know about your oc Phoenix but i worry if you don't write it carefully it might feel like an op oc situation. every time she runs into an issue its gonna be why didn't reader use this artefact? why didn't reader use that artefact? i don't know how strong the artefacts are but i do know that unchecked overpowered-ness can ruin a story. if sun wukong wasn't limited by tripitaka and his rules, he would have dealt with every demon in their way without much issue and jttw would have been much shorter and suckier for it.

i find stories shine when characters have to work around their limitations and what they have instead of giving them powers/tools that solve issues for them. its kinda hard to write a conflict when somebody has a maguffin that completely bypasses the issue.

reader is from the modern world, use that! we have access to a breadth of knowledge that people didnt back then, even if reader is no expert in the field, she should have picked something up by social osmosis at the very least!

everyone knows something about cpr, and if reader had classes regarding health and the body, she might have learned basic first aid! imagine the tension of reader having to use barebones first aid knowledge, being unsure if she's patched up to recover in time and having to navigate the threat of infection instead of an artefact bypassing all that juicy juicy plot.

and the glamor artefact, have reader struggle to get a disguise instead. have reader having to bargain or barter or hell, even steal to get different outfits to change her is a good way to explore her personality! how much of her apperence would she be willing to change to be in disguise? would she cut her hair? wear a mask and hood? give up things she had on her from her homeworld to barter for a better disguise? cover herself in mud or walk through a creek/river to throw off her scent?

and thats just two artifacts that i covered here! every time you give a character a tool that solves problems you strip yourself of multiple potential plot points you could have explored and written a story about!

to end this all off:

sun wukong and the six eared macaque[jttw ver at the very least] are the spiders georg when it comes to power scaling. they are extreme outliers, both of them. when it comes to a fight, they exist to be op. so dont give them fights, give them issues that they cant punch their way out of. they cant fight their way into readers affections, use that.

When reading this know that I love a good debate. I can definitely see where your coming from don't worry.

I like the idea of using fantasy and fiction in my writing. I like reading about character that have it too.

Just because a character has a tool doesn't mean they always know how to use it. And each tool would have a weakness.

Reader doesn't know how to fly, just because she gets wings doesn't mean that she'll know how to use them immediately.

Fire burns, Reader isn't immune to fire being human so she'd only be able to use it for specific things. Such as lighting a camp fire, but again just because she can light it doesn't mean it would stay lit. Such as if the wood she is lighting is too wet or so forth. Since fire needs fuel she'd have to learn how to keep a fire going and all.

Growing plants would be slow and can't garrenttee that they will be healthy or say the food it grows safe to eat.

When healing it would require energy and honestly the healing would be closer to just a slightly sped form of healing. So the person healed would still need time to rest because it would also use there energy as well. It also can't be used all of the time (I would be deciding an actual logic system for it later if this is the route I would like to go.) *Basically pain relief and minor healing*

- Adding onto the healing, it wouldn't be able to work on herself, and since she is the only one who can use it, that doesn't help too much. Since Shadowpeach are fucking immortal! Well only like 2x immortal at the beginning since it starts between the time after Subodi and before the heaven attack.

- As for CPR that would be really fun to play around with. But again I'd she was to heal someone it would be another human or Spirit. Due to the op power of the monkeys (and no they can't use their fists to gain her affection 😂 though they Wukong might try to impress her that way)

The sheild is almost impenetrable, not completely, and honestly, it was more of a tool to be used against Wukong and Macaque for plot reasons. So that they have a harder time getting to Reader rather than being able to just capture her immediately.

The glamour mask was also more so for a plot point that comes up later, a specific idea that came about in my head a while ago. Which ends with --- (Said mask can only have one other transformation besides the user's real form).

Also the first two are unable to be used in the cold because plants sleep in the winter and cold is the opposite of heat.

So there are downsides to all of these. Ways to get around them and ways to damage them. I'm not trying to make the Reader OP at all, I was just having an idea and seeing where it was going. These artifacts wouldn't be able to all be used at once, all would require concentration (she's getting attacked she needs to concentrate to make a sheild but her fear gets in the way) or (having a panic attack over someone being injured and can't concentrate to heal them)

These artifacts existing also wouldn't mean that they are with her at all times. In the beginning of the story, she only has a switchblade, and that's it. She might find one and lose it, or she might get a different one and break it. Who knows being as they would be physical objects she wouldn't be able to have them at all times.

I loved answering this, and I will be hoping you respond, anon. I wonder if you've got some other tidbits of ideas for me.

Also, does anyone else have suggestions? Send them my way. I love to debate~ I think I'm using that word right at least 😅

[gildeddlily]

we stan adam (paul bby what are you doing)[about to make this a series]

again with this. about to die because of them (chuuya looks so young in every Stormbringer art I'm crying)

(1. We Stan The Flags)

2. We stan Adam (Paul bby what are you doing)

he comes out of nowhere and pull out this (they were about to kill him and he was like "oh wow you're kinda mean I expected a better welcome")

ADAM STOP the first time I read stormbringer I fell in love with him right here. like the first thing he said I already was head over heels for this beautiful robot (people who don't like Adam scares me. he's so precious. the perfect assistant, fighter and comic relief)

chuuya's so hilarious- he's about to become one of the strongest character of the bsd universe and an european guy he doesn't know crash his mafia birthday party and ignores the attacks of some of the strongest people he knows, and then said guy proceeds to say that he's here to protect chuuya and kneels before him? (I'm already hearing chuuya's voice actor. it's a dream but let me indulge myself)

(me talking to my sister cause I'm a dumbass) yes I already said that, the flags' bond and interactions are so familiar it's making me cry. Albatross is the classic dumb cousin or little brother that deep down is smarter than you but incapable of doing basic things, and Lippmann the successful third-grade-cousin everybody hates cause he gave them inferiority complex (Iceman neutral chaotic forever)

Chuuya's the king of emotional constipation, and they love seeing him express his feelings (they've welcome him in their group and dynamic, and truly cherish him and wish the best for him. they're so honest it hurts) (everybody ab this thing hurts) (I just know that at least once they gang up against him and started showering him with compliments and he almost cried and they were flabbergasted)

HELLO WHAT IS THIS Doc is literally so me guys (yk the voice) wish I was Chuuya rn (not really considering what's about to happen) (but still)

yeah cause Chuuya near him is like a cat hissing at a horse. I can understand Adam for holding him like and Amazon pack, not for saying to a teenage boy's face that he was short but for the rest ofc (he has his programs and he knows what to do but not really and it's so cute) (Chuuya after a year still wishing for his so wished growth spurt is sad) (but I just know that he doesn't care about it, at least not really. he could still smash someone's face with his pinky finger)

Yes Adam it was (I wish for our society to be ruled by robots too) (imagine Adam being your prime minister. maybe someone explains to him social clues) (Chuuya's so confused) (random robot guy tells him jokes and that some overpowered guy wants to kill him)

...Paul fuck is this the way to tell someone you're their "brother" ? A little of decency please (Chuuya's about to suffer so much I can't continue) (I will) Adam's scream was a little terrifying the first time I read it, the "That man is Paul Verlaine!" shout made me shiver and still does. Still love them

The sad thing about this first interaction, is that Verlaine is honestly sad "like the sea at night", and honestly wants Chuuya to believe him, he truly thinks of themselves as anything but humans. He doesn't do it out of malice (one of the reason he's still alive down those fucking dungeons I know it) and it all makes hating on him hard. If you're able to hate characters like verlaine I envy you

It is a call for help, and his personal way of saying "Hey, I've never felt understood by anyone cause I'm not human and I don't feel as one, wanna come with me and be two non-humans together?", but it came out a little bit more like "Let's be non-humans together, but anyone who ever tried to tell u you were human should die, so everyone you love rn. Hope you don't hate me, kiss kiss"

here is why I didn't want to read it. he is ready to listen to Verlaine. Chuuya doesn't think of himself as truly human, so he wants to listen to him, but his first thought is about the Flags, and sometimes I wonder what would have happened if the french guy didn't kill his friends. got to thin ab it now

yes, darling, there's a difference between love and control. I'm sorry no one ever explained it to you, you boyfriend didn't have the possibility to. and like always Asagiri's able to portrait questions like this in his stories, cause it's a difference not everyone understand. or that not everyone cares about. Verlaine probably didn't really care, desperate how he was about having someone to understand him

this makes me hate every panel where Chuuya uses Corruption (hate on Mori, don't hate on Dazai he was the only one to ever give him a choice. well, it was at least a choice from Dazai's point of view. he was like "do what you want, I don't really care if the Mafia fall! just follow your heart<3" but ofc Chuuya would have never let dazai and the Mafia fall. as if. it's still sweet. now cry with me)

He should leave himself suffer and feel. he's not going to. he should. able to dream or not, he will have from hallucinations when drunk or high or whatever situation he's in and see their mauled bodies. he will always remember the room he spent beautiful moments with his family in as covered with the blood of said family.

this is basically self harm bby, stop it. he wants someone to confirm the truth, and is so horrible to himself to ask this to an android (what's thaaaaaaaat) who is unable to say something like "It wasn't your fault, he was to one to kill them. he's more powerful than you, you and your friends couldn't have done anything. he wanted you to give up on your life for someone you met from not even ten minutes. he had already killed them", the truth. he can only analyze the situation without any emotions.

little thing from the first scene at the bar, albatross making period jokes to his bro (he's about to die in his "bro" arms. he's about to gift him his bike as his last words. but he made a period joke)

(first chapter done and I'm done with myself) (and this light novel) (it's everything but light)

[matt-murdick]

Others have explained their reasoning before, but I'm wondering, why do you think each original sibling never undaggered Finn? With the obv exception of Freya. But would she have undaggered him immediately? 🤔

Great question, thank you for asking. This is just my opinion so if anyone has other ideas feel free to add to this and make it a discussion. (I do not proof read, I can only hope this is legible)

The reasons offered by canon definately contribute to Finn’s siblings keeping him daggered. The two main ones to me (from canon) are that Finn’s morality made him a difficult person to be around and that he hated being a vampire, they were worried about him.

I mean, Klaus was willing to let Elijah believe that he had tossed all his siblings into the ocean where they could never be reached, just because he found Elijah’s moral crusade annoying. Finn hated everything about vampirism and he let them know. He complained about their bloodlust, how easily they gave into their bloodlust, how unnatural they species was — if you were already struggling with what you’d become and you were trying to make the most out of it, this shit is the last thing you need to hear. I always assume this stifling morality of his is what they’re talking about when they call him dull.

Elijah brings up the concern that Finn would be a danger to himself. Honestly, if they were running from Mikael and his siblings could see him consider just giving in and dying every time, that’s scary. And I know what people say, “he had Sage, he was the happiest he had ever been.” Sure. But you can’t expect a depressed person to stop being depressed just because they’re in love, so why would they think that loving Sage would make Finn content being a vampire. (H/C Finn was depressed as a human, vampirism amplified that, being a vampire added to it. Finn struggled to connect to his siblings after Freya. They had probably never seen him struggling like that until they were forced together with volatile emotions. It’s hard to watch people you care about, who you’d always seen as strong, break down).

Once Finn has been daggered for a while, it’s easy to leave him that way. He was hard to be around. I don’t think they ever actually forgot him or that they were purposefully abandoning him, like Finn thought, but I do think he slipped their mind. It was easier without him, they had their own issues to worry about, and vampires don’t feel the passage of time. Also, they didn’t know it was hurting him. This is a big thing to remember. As far as the rest of the Mikaelsons are concerned, a dagger to the heart is a magic pause button. It’s annoying but it was never meant to hurt Finn. Would they still have done it if they knew? That’s a different question that I won’t go into, but it’s worth a thought. These reasons apply to all his siblings, I’ll try not to repeat them.

First thing I consider is that Klaus had just killed the Brotherhood of Five before undaggering his siblings, and so is suffering from the Hunter’s Curse for the first 53 years of Finn being daggered. (I like to think it kicking in is one of the reasons he didn’t undagger Finn)

Klaus is literally obsessed with his family, he probably didn’t like that Finn was off with Sage all the time. Remember this guy kills all his siblings’ lovers, and maybe he hasn’t started that yet or Sage is the exception bc she came before that urge or he can recognise that these two are actually devoted to each other unlike the other lovers he’s killed. I mean, even 900 years later Klaus still hadn’t killed her. I’m sure she’s a survivor (and don’t get me started on the possible relationship dynamics between Sage and the rest of the Mikaelsons), but if Klaus wanted her dead then she probably would be. He’s an original. They’re only beatable in the shows bc you can’t overpower regularly appearing characters or there would be no conflict.

So initially, I think Klaus’ reason is his paranoia and fear of his siblings leaving him, enhanced by the Hunters Curse. I actually like to think that by having one of his siblings daggered and therefore unable to harm or leave him, was probably a great comfort for him during this time. Although that would have lessened when the curse ends, the sentiment continues. Klaus needs to know where his family are, and he needs to keep them safe from Mikael. He’s a little control freak and this is a great way for him to exercise that and keep his wandering brother close by.

My understanding of Elijah is that he takes responsibility for pretty much everything that happens in his family and whilst he may have preferred to undagger Finn, he always prioritises Klaus over the rest of his family (from the guilt over Mikael and Aurora, until the anger at Klaus effectively killing their family for good outweighs that, then it comes back). If Elijah considered daggered!Finn to be a benefit to Klaus whilst under the Hunter’s Curse, he’s absolutely gonna allow it. It’s benefitting Klaus, and it’s ‘not hurting’ Finn. So why wouldn’t he? He’s probably defending the idea, and laying it out as though it’s the most reasonable option.

I think Rebekah was definitely pro-undaggering Finn. But I think she’d find Elijah’s justifications convincing. She’d probably feel the most guilty about it, so she’d try not to think about it. Still, she’s much closer to Klaus and Elijah than her other brothers.

I don’t think Kol minded much. Finn was a good ten years older than him and if they were ever close it would probably be more parental than fraternal, to cope with Mikael and Esther’s poor parenting and the trauma of Finn losing Freya and then struggling to connect to his siblings. They seem to have had a somewhat hostile relationship from at least the Martell period (pretty typical of siblings ngl) but Kol seemed most antagonised by Finn’s betrayal in TVD (indicative of a closer relationship than with Esther). I personally think his loss of magic and lack of control over his thirst probably made him the most affected by Finn’s anti-vampire campaign. Kol seems to like trying to ignore the pain a situation causes him by drowning it out (loss of magic leads to extra bloodlust). I think he was glad not to have to deal with it and if he ever felt bad? Well, it was Klaus that kept him in the box. Not Kol.

+

I think the important thing to consider with Freya is that she’s just as desperate for her family as Klaus is. If she got to them earlier then she would absolutely undagger Finn. He’s her baby brother, he’s the only one who would be able to remember her, and there is no way she’ll be able to convince The Original Vampires that she is their witch-sister-who-‘died’-and-even-if-she-hadn’t-she-would-defo-be-dead-over-one-hundred-years-later without Finn or Esther (or even the threat of Dahlia) there to back up her claims. Freya would undagger him immediately out of both sentiment and practicality. The only reason she wouldn’t undagger him is if she was convinced it would harm him, and his “suicidal tendencies” would not cut it for her. Tbh I think Freya would think that it’s an exaggeration and that she could help fix it. So yeah, if Freya is out then so is Finn.

(A Doylist answer would be that he was invented right before his first appearance and they kept him daggered so he would be pissed at them and put his Cain instincts into play. Also laziness. But that’s boring so Watsonian answers only.)

[crimeronan]

What would be AU! Princess Luz’s in the canon! world’s reaction to meeting Camila? She’d probably realize she isn’t in a dream if Camila starts speaking spanish and she’s just like huh???

oh i honestly believe that princess AU luz meeting canon camila would just. shatter her.

like, not Immediately, but like.....

for the most part, AU luz doesn't miss the human world much, she considers the isles her home and barely remembers the human realm. to her, humanity is usually an annoying disability and occasionally cause for guilty crises over being a colonizer. she doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about the life that she could have lived if she hadn't wandered into the isles as a babby

and then like. meeting canon camila would change all that really really fast.

not even because of the human part or even the losing-her-spanish part, it's just like.... like.

luz obviously knows how awful belos is and can now recognize that her entire upbringing was drowned in lies and manipulation and belos's own loneliness, she Gets that belos wanted things from her more than he really wanted to raise a child

however she does not know Quite How Devastating the emotional neglect has been for her. because she has no point of comparison. luz doesn't spend her time thinking about everything that she needed and never got from a parent, bc 1) she and hunter have been instinctively taking care of themselves For Forever, and 2) she relies on hunter for a lot of the reassurance and stability and protection that would normally come from a parent. so she doesn't know that she's missing anything

until there's. camila.

and suddenly luz is having to grapple with this really warm kind genuine person loving her unconditionally -- or at least loving one version of her unconditionally. and with that comes an overpowering feeling of "oh, this is the life i was supposed to have, the life i have now is wrong." and then there's not Just the insane grief over not having lived that life, but Also the feeling of fundamental brokenness, like. i can't be a luz who deserves to be loved like this because belos made me different and i won't ever untangle myself from his formative influences, so. i can't be anyone's daughter and i can't stand to stay here long enough to see her disappointment when she realizes i don't deserve to be here

empress luz meeting her own timeline's camila is something i desperately want to write and it's also something that has less immediate emotional baggage. because princess AU timeline's camila was robbed of the chance to raise her daughter just like luz was robbed of the chance to be raised by her parents. the two of them are basically strangers to each other and very carefully learning each other for the first time. that's Very Different from meeting a camila who has a very long history and great relationship with her luz.

[sharonisthebettercarter]

spoopy butchlander prompts for the spirit of hallow's~<3

cause how could i not on this fine day~<3 and these have been a long time comin' ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

let's get right into it~<3 and as always, free to use/modify however the fuck you want even fitting with different ships<3 this shit's here to inspire and get creative juices flowing<3 ;)

let's start with satanlander~<3<3<3

i really actually love overpowering already overpowered characters, tho to be fair i just love empowering characters to begin with<3

anywho~<3 satanlander~<3 or just AWFUL actual godlander. not even joking, the abrahamic biblical god fits homelander's vain 'worship and love me forever or i'll kill all the fucking babies' MO to a goddamn T... so that realization just gave me whiplash holy fuck--is that sacrilegious and offensive? oh yeah, probably definitely at least a little. but i mean--.

starlight: "oh, so now what, next you're gonna claim that you were actually jesus too?"

homelander: "don't be ridiculous, yeshua was my son."

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because the idea of that little interaction tickles me in a way y'all would not fuckin' believe<3 yes it is free to use, yes i also do plan to use it<3 tho with a more 'catch-all/many named god' ancient vampire lord homie<3<3<3 (who's been in my head far too long, and lemme tell ya<3 he wants OUT<3<3<3)

ANYWHO~!

satanlander<3 i do love me some playin' with religious lore and mythology. i love even moar the idea of homie being an obedient turned rebellious son/creation of a malevolent god. it just... it fits him so fucking well<3<3<3

for the lucifer aspect, mischief as always<3, 'sympathy for the devil' is perfect inspiration (as it always fuckin' is lmao) butt just imagine poor billy boo discovering homelander is actually satan.

no, leik really, *actually* fuckin' satan, what a serious mindfuck that would be for that poor bastard, especially if homie is more of a universal force that is necessary for balance/can't be destroyed.

billy would probably need to sit down and reevaluate his life (giving this boi an existential crisis is what i live for~<3<3<3)

this one actually has a goodlander version too. something i've always loved as a concept is the 'slave to my nature' concept for gods/forces. in which certain beings cannot act outside of the laws set for their power. it can be both tragic and compelling.

well, what if satanlander didn't *choose* the role and sought to be FREE of it~? ;))))))))))) or even just give the angels their free will back because god is a prick who gives them none of it?

whether homie's actually an extremely evil bastard or not, let's say he 'convinces' billy that the truest evil is his 'father/god in heaven'?

it could be a trick using billy to usurp the throne of heaven. or~<3 he could actually honestly be trying to free himself/siblings. for an even bigger tragic twists, it could be he was given the role/'nature' of the devil specifically so a human would never trust him to help him so he could never break free<3

even moar tragic if the throne of hell ends up needing a replacement when he leaves it empty and the dark nature is at least somewhat part of the deal<3 tho that one could be bittersweet<3<3<3 assuming him and billy become lovers across worlds that are able to at least occasionally unite on earth~<3

ugh, that'd be cute honestly<3 satan sweetie billy boo and god of assholes homie<3 especially billy's asshole~<3<3<3 (or swampy cunt, cause i can't not love that<3<3<3)

what does he need billy for you ask? OH ;))))))))))))))))))))))

maybe to plant that antichrist seed~<3 LMAO! could you imagine<3, i mean satanlander would def have the power to plant that seed in billy boo<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))) but he'd also probably have plenty a power to make a fighting soldier out of billy, especially if billy boo has something like remnant angel blood or demonic blood<3<3<3

but of course~<3 CAN'T forget SACRIFICE billy and misunderstood turdly childish devil homie~<3<3<3 who is just mostly done giving a fuck but will entertain himself because YES!

this incorporates dairy boi shifter billy goat butcher~<3 if wanted, because also yes~<3 but billy can also be a regular ol' sacrifice. or even an asshole who sneaks into place to replace/save the actual sacrifice (becca or hughie maybe) and try to fight satan. it fails. spectacularly~<3

but maybe satanlander finds it hella cute~<3 and we all know billy boo needs to get milked<3<3<3

CAN'T forget the captured or bound devil either<3<3<3 rolling it back to a vought setting, homie could be what be bound to his master in the mortal world, looking for someone to SET. HIM. FREE~<3<3<3. maybe billy boo even finds out and finds a way to become his master... and gets way moar than he bargained for<3<3<3

maybe hell is run in a corporate setting and billy becomes his assistant that is secretly trying to kill him the whole time. OOH, gotta do some ugly americans shit at some point. lmao, and probably come back to the angels/demons vibes for some a that angel shit<3<3<3 (since this is kinda focused on an overpowered homie<3 and *EMBRACING* the monster~<3<3<3)

which brings me to the next sorta similar one<3

eldritch lord homie~<3<3<3

whether baby eldritch lord or ancient, think this one definitely~<3 creates such a lovely opportunity<3 (most of this is from my own wip idea that will hopefully some day get finished, of course can be expanded on/altered any sorta hway~<3)

especially if he's been secretly courting billy as per fucked up eldritch traditions~<3<3<3

here's a kicker, imagine eldritchlander using becca as more of an incubator for his spawn, whether entirely genetically his or he steals some of billy's for the other half assuming billy would not appreciate being impregnated but would somehow appreciate a child between them. because this is an eldrtich motherfucker we're talkin' about, lmao.

def think becca should get something for her troubles there tho. made undead maybe? umbued with power~<3 both<3 able to deck eldritchlander in the jaw or punch him in the nuts for all the trouble he caused her sounds like a perfect option~<3 especially both~<3

have to have to have to mention the toothy cunt. i gotta. idk HWY. but i may have a bit of an obsession with the monster vagina that is also a mouth and can... eat... things. also cannibalism<3 i do imagine this is something that billy boo could be gifted when imbued with power/chosen as a mate for the eldritch lord homie<3 it does so fit him, honestly<3<3<3

also love the idea of billy having dreams about cthulu and other monsters lmao!

but gotta honorable mention thanos and david and that loving relationship of torture on every single birthday for the poor human<3<3<3 IMAGINE. thanking a frien for this one~! BUTT, imagine. birth to adulthood and every birthday is just so fuckin' terrible for billy with homie killing someone he loves or doing some other awful shit.

but it's okay. cause that's just how eldritch homie's culture works and he's courting billy boo<3.

;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

torture birthdays is definitely a general concept that could work with a slightly older regular homie, alien homie, ancient vampire homie, or even satan homie<3

but speaking of alienlander~<3<3<3

this idea actually sparked from his comic fake 'origin' that mirrors our beloved kal-el of kryption<3

let's say he was an alien... say that... dropped down in a field in germany, and was found by a scientist.

let's say this alien has a human guise, but is a bit more. say... a bit more animal. a bit more... voracious. and certainly hungry. let's say humans are on the menu~<3 but it's young, vulnerable, alone. bonds or imprints on the first person who finds it.

let's say it's the source for v. a VENOM in its fangs... ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

this set up is one that can work out so fucking GLORIOUSLY and gets me way too excited for the carnage and horror to come from it<3<3<3 ( i love horror lmao could ya tell?)

concrete garden (soft yaoi short manga/no smut story if i remember correctly) is actually FANTASTIC inspiration for this one, concrete garden honestly deserves it's own whole ass prompt because homie is legit the angel like straight up and just fits into it so PERFECT you would not believe--(highly recommend if have not read)

monster homie, whether alien, supernatural, or lab created is a concept that more than likely results in him actually *eating* becca/becky, literally, than anything else. although it certainly becomes less personal/more just an animal surviving kinda deal/wrong place wrong time for her.

and i will finish this later cause i got some shit with werewolves to binge for the next one lmao~<3 and if i miss this dear friday the 13th of october i will cry! ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

no really, i would cry. butt come back later for MOAR~<3

and happy friday the 13th~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

FUCK ME THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' THING AND ALL THE PROGRESS AND ATTEMPT AND I AM NOT LATE AND FUCK--

fuck... nothin' happened. totally not late<3 and happy fuckin' hallow's eve and the day of hallow's<3<3<3 so let's get back into it, yeah~<3?

werewolves~<3<3<3

there's a fun classic i probably come back way too much lmao<3 i tend to do them a certain way that involves minimum 3 forms (human, partial shift bipedal monster~<3, full shift wolf) so that's how i'm gonna be framin' it here, but def do your wolves however the fuck ya want~! (teen wolf as an example? homie would probably be a kanima<3)

anywho~<3

homie the wolf<3 two main new and unique ways with a couple a side hoes i see to add in to this mess of ideas lol.

billy knows about the wolf beast that ate his wife--but not that homie *is* the wolf beast<3<3<3 (this can certainly involve the hunter's aspect~<3) and is hunting that mofo down with a reluctantly helpful and possibly apologetic (or extra extra asshole who finds billy's obsession so goddamn cute~<3!!) homie while having no clue that mofo IS the wolf beast!

ramp up the moby dick captain ahab vibes~<3<3<3!!

OR<3

billy knows homie 'disappeared' his but don't quite know *exactly* what happened<3 but he does meet this big ass beautiful golden and loyal wolfy~<3<3<3

a note for consideration? a werewolf homie i would definitely picture to tolerate much less abuse from vought before up and leaving. he could end up also going berserk on a full moon and it results in him leaving<3 and then there's the *master* or pack aspect<3 and homie can def search for a new one once he *eats* the old one ;)))))))))))))))))

do love me sum big dumb puppy wolves too<3! and homie could definitely fit the play<3<3<3 *especially* if billy boo loves and takes *very* good care of this wolf doggo cause he's just such a good boi<3<3<3

and of course it all leads to a wolfy mate made outta billy boo<3<3<3

but what about wolfy baby billy boo~<3?

OOOH~<3 homie could def SMELL that<3<3<3--

but i could *DEFINITELY* picture billy boo challenging the strongest wolf around only for homie to turn around with an 'mmm, no~, i think i'll claim you instead<3' but i *do* love the idea of homie turning billy<3

BUTT~<3 what else~?

weeeeeellllll~<3

vampielander<3<3<3

the moment i've all been waiting for~<3 lmao! this guy may as well be the star a the whole damn show cause he's the main inspiration behind this whole damn thing after all~<3

and. lemme. tell. ya.

ancient vampie lord homie<3

hunter boi billy boo<3

the dynamic fits so goddamn perfectly, it's insane and so fucking delicious<3<3<3

always ALWAYS love the 'hunter x prey BUTT--who's who~?' dynamic. THAT'S the meal ticket, the real deal, the cream a the goddamn crop~<3! ya *play* with that question to high hell and it is--*chef's kiss* it is just *precious*<3 and i especially love when our truly dangerous bois with *excellent* control go ahead and play with their food<3<3<3

and lemme tell ya~? homie fuckin' plays with his food<3 and does have *pretty* excellent control lol! (an ancient vamp lord would def have that a bit moar developed too<3<3<3)

but let's talk about the hunter boi<3 there's definitely a play here and i picture billy could either be inexperienced, bigoted against vamps, and therefore going after 'the big one' to get them all in one go~ (i do like the intricate connection that a sire/original vampire lord has to all the rest) possibly~<3 being manipulated/encouraged by the lead hunter douche *channeling that gerard argent motherfucker* or going against direct orders from a not so douchey lead hunter (probably mallory/mm, assuming they are in on this shit)

there's also a balance there that could def teeter totter on both~<3

OR<3

billy is the LAST of the hunters and has been chasing john down for the last century or moar<3<3<3

becca in this case could have been eaten, turned, killed, all three-- my personal fave is turned cause it would probably hit the hardest for billy if he is the one who has to kill her because of it. homie could even use that against him in a cruel twist of fate. especially if hunters have a drive to kill vampires that's hard to resist

homie could *also* be hella possessive and not quite like sharing his toy<3<3<3 with poor becca</3

when it comes to lore i *definitely* love to play<3

for hunters, i tend to do ancient rites + ancient blood/some kind of fucked up method in which they give themselves an advantage against what they hunt, not just in terms of 'holy' objects if ya get me. i like the idea that a true hunter is also somethin' a little magically~<3 (or scientificly~!!) created, either by witches/humans to help 'balance' things out<3 (not so much lmao) their blood would be poison for normal/lower vamps too and *generally* they can't be turned

for vamps? OOOOOOOOH--. there are LEVELS to that shit<3

love love love the hierarchy bullshit that vamps got goin' on half the time. i use that as a means to play with their strengths and weaknesses.

lower 'thralls' or incorrectly 'turned' humans just makes sense, extreme weakness to sun, garlic (LMAO or whatever other herb), 'holy' tools (from hunters), less control, weaker over all, easier to kill and when they die it's clean (turn to dust) tho i do like the idea they get more monstrous and ravenous

up the ranks/older they get? stronger they get, harder to kill,less vulnurable to weaknesses and *easier to revive* (likely with varying levels of desication/crystalization), plus more powers like memory manipulation and mind fuckery *plus HORNY when they feed LOVE that detaill*--

fully/properly turned would need venom *and* blood from the vamp that bit them. then come the born vamps (whether from freak mutation or vampie parents~<3) homie would likely be the first born from a freak mutation~<3

with this vamp set up, if they're still set in 'the boys' vers and butcher's keepin' way more secrets than advertised, V can be made either from homie's venom or his blood, likely being that vought *found* him entombed in germany and well... (this concept works for anything ancient/otherworldly~! LOVE the idea of man playing with that which they do not understand/diddling the bad and powerful magics to make V~<3)

;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

but beyond that, with homie being the oldest/strongest/original mofo, he'd also probably be invulnurable to most if not all vamp weaknesses, a fuckin' daywalker (because of course), compulsion from him would work on all other vamps, and be the only actual vampy asshole who is legit unkillable (beyond being temporarily knocked out for a long ass time before someone fucking disturbs his *sleep*) and this homie could def have a lot of complexes and different views of the world. who knows, maybe this mofo was even the one to *start* the order of the hunters and straight up *created* them~<3

maybe he's been lookin' for a billy boo to preform some dumbass ancient ritual to get himself the fuck to sleep~<3

butt~... i wonder what would happen if john decided to *bite* his little hunter~<3..

;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

which leads us into the next bits lmao~!

the vampire queen~<3 in which homie makes a perfect little mate for himself<3<3<3 POSSIBLY accidentally~<3 and then the little wolf<3<3<3 in which billy has some old/dormant werewolf's blood that suddenly *wakes the fuck up* once that vampire venom hits his blood stream<3<3<3

these especially work if billy boo is *not* aware of homie being a vampire.

one thing i will mention that i love to do with wolves (especially energetic or angery bois paired with a vampire) is make the wolf a kind of 'overproducer' of very strong blood that can feed the vampire/regenerate quick enough where there's generally good balance/no issues<3 it's just nice to set things up like that<3<3<3

it's *also* nice that when i make my vampires~<3 put a baby in their partner's belly~<3, suddenly they can't drink their blood because that powerful vampie child is being a major cockblock--oops...

;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

anywho~<3 WOOOOO!! ALMOST done<3

just one finale<3 last but not least<3<3<3

the lab created monster boi<3<3<3

lol obviously gotta be more specifc there given circumstances<3<3<3 beloved monster boi is beloved--

BUTT! picture a homie who is *something* of the above, a proposed 'supernatural' creature... EXCEPT--.

he was legit *lab created* and came out *so so fuckin' wrong* insteada the ragin' 'success' we get to know him as<3<3<3

I LOVE the concept of 'science aims to make one thing' and~ '*accidentally* made THIS' and that works for a werewolf (ideas can be mix matched and combined as a reminder~!), vampire, your own creative creation~<3, and lemme tell ya... opens up a whole new can o worms that is just OOOOOOOOHHHHHH~<3<3<3!!

it especially gets straight up mah alleyway because i especially love the concept of homie's situation propelling *his* evolution forward a bit forcefully (making him a sort of prototype for next stage humans) which def reminds me of x-men LOL but also takes the loneliness and alienation he feels from regular humans to another step that is just~<3

THE LONGING~<3<3<3

but just picture it~! oh can you i hope you can<3<3<3 lonely weird vamp homie, lonely weird wolfy homie, lonely weird tentacle monster homie~<3

billy could *find out* what he really is but then find out none of the 'myths' work because, well... vought truly made a perfect predator...

this one can go back and tie into concrete garden vibes too<3 but GAH--

welp... i think that's everything.. for now~<3

;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

i fuckin' hope--

[charlie-artlie]

It's 4am and I can't sleep so I'm ranting abt transformers comics again

The transformers (2009), and largely all of the "on earth content" thus far, has been kinda annoying tbh. There's lots of good stuff in there and I'm still overall enjoying myself but basically anything involving the humans is just. Wack.

This is largely because none of the human characters are interesting or likeable at all. Verity Jimmy and Hunter were interesting!!! I liked their dynamics for the most part and enjoyed how they interacted with the autobots but all of these badass military guys are boring and stupid! I mean the only one who's fleshed out in the least is Spike who's just supposed to be this sexy badass who's a tactical genius and gets lot of trim but he's the worst lmao. He's overpowered and annoying and just a nothing of a character. Also it's outrageously stupid that he's able to single handedly take down a constructicon with nothing but "dumb tech" like I can't even take that seriously.

But the really irritating thing is I just can't understand why they're still on earth! They keep acting like they're the last of their race and they have no where to go but new people keep showing up! Where tf did cosmos come from?? Shouldn't Optimus, as the leader of their species be like, be trying to pick up the scattered remains of this army after the war?? why ARE we kicking around on the mud ball im with Roddy and the decepticons on this one. Like it's irritating because hot rod is objectively right when he wants to leave! The humans don't want them there and are actively killing them! Perdonally i dont rly like thr implications of what theyre doing to the captured decepticons (but who cares right) but if the concern is decepticon attack roddys right they literally have thay covered (see above, one human single handedly taking down a constructicon). Not to mention we already know they've tortured and mutilated autobots in the past so who's to say they aren't still??

I just don't understand. the constant dick sucking of the human race. Speaking as a human, I don't need this in the story. Why are we constantly being shown that actually it's the humans who are the badasses and the transformers who are at their mercy. First off, I don't believe you, and second off, then why don't they leave??? Like every five minutes we get a speech abt how humans are amazing and resiliant and so powerful and resourceful and and kind and wonderful and the humans are meanwhile like sorry we weren't listening we were too busy inventing a device that makes autobots explode while simultaneously setting off all our nuclear weapons at once.

Honestly I think I wouldn't be so annoyed with the overpowered human race thing, like to a certain extent its an interesting dynamic, but what's most irritating is the autobots reactions to it. After literally everything humans have done to them they're still just like wow, humans are amazing, we should live here forever. This plan sucks!!!! Pls can we plsss just go back to space!!!

........ALSO Optimus just turning himself into the humans custody for bad leadership crimes because,,,,,, humans killed ironhide,, and he feels responsible,,,,,, so he's going to get captured by then, so they can kill the rest of his men without impediment???? Dude, get your boys out of there!!!!

[animemangasoul]

will you abadon me like the earth abandoned ellipsoid?

Summery: Bruce thinks Tim is a flat earther. Tim knowns Bruce thinks he is a flat eather and is having so much fun with it.

In which a sleep-deprived ramble turns into a metaphorical lightbulb moment.

Chapter: 1/4

It had started as a sleep deprived word vomit. Harmless really. Tim hadn't even been in control of his faculties when he'd muttered those world changing words. He'd been dead on his feet, eyes as heavy as the weights Jason bench-pressed on daily basis and body feeling like feathers ready to float away. He'd been so tired. He hadn't really thought it through. 

Bruce had been complaining about cults and brainwashing from his side of the cave. Not so much complaining as sort of grumbling. "Not enough concern is shown towards the brainwashing of the mindless in our society," he'd said, scrolling through the recent articles posted on the Gotham paper about Batman shutting down a human organ farm. "There is only so much we as vigilantes can do when people are convinced to believe ridiculous stories that only end up harming them."

Tim had hummed in agreement, typing few more lines to conclude his report, blinking heavily.

"We need to invest more in the mental health programs in this city."

Taking a sip from his energy drink, Tim shook his head to get rid of the fog currently threatening to overwhelm his senses and briefly wondered when this; looking at the time he sighed, one hour long rant had started.

When Bruce got going he really got going.

And honestly Tim really didn't think it was that serious. Sure it was a serious matter, but right now? This very moment? Nop. All he wanted to do right now was finish this damn report and throw himself on his warm, fluffy, comfortable bed and embrace blissful nothingness.

"Even supposed harmless conspiracies like believing the earth is flat can have unforeseen consequences," his father continued.

Tim sighed again. "Maybe it is."

A pause. Then, "What?"

Tim shook his head, blinking blearily at Bruce. "Pancakes are flat," he muttered. "Earth is like a pancake, flat."

His father had stopped fiddling by the lab. He was now staring at him in utter bewilderment. "Son, you don't believe that nonsense do you?"

"What nonsense?" Tim felt like he'd missed a couple steps in the conversation. What were they talking about again. "Oh, the earth being flat."

"Yes," Bruce said, approaching him slowly, removing his gloves. "You don't actually think the earth is flat, do you?" It was obvious from the little laughter in his voice that Bruce didn't think he did believe it. Which hey, rude. Just because Tim couldn't put together two complete thoughts over here didn't mean Bruce was allowed to think for him. So what if he thought the earth was flat. He didn't but so what if he did. Who was Bruce to say he couldn't?!

In hindsight, with enough sleep, rational would have overpowered petulance by now and he would have come to his senses but Tim was exhausted, overworked and sleep deprived so all he did was look Bruce dead in the eyes and nod.

"So what if I do," he hissed. "Are you going to judge me? Are you going to throw me out of the family now that you know I believe this stupid world that get attacked every two seconds looks like a frisbee? I knew you never wanted me!"

Yeah he had issues.

Bruce's eyes widened and Tim blinked up at him in determination. His hair looked really fluffy, he thought. Like cotton candy. Then he promptly fell passed out where he sat, blissful sleep taking over.

-----------

He came to with keen memories of the night before and facepalmed.

God, did he just argue for the earth being flat? Did he just throw all the issues he had with Bruce into an argument of the earth being flat?

If Bruce told the rest of the family what he'd said about the earth his sleep-deprived state, he'd never hear the end of it. The pranks and jokes would be relentless and just thinking about it made him want to bury deep beneath his covers and never come out. He needed to find Bruce immediately and beg him not to tell the others. Oh and hope the man didn't bring up the whole abandonment issues Tim got going either while he was at it because Tim was sure as hell not going to bring it up himself.

The flat earth thing so wouldn't be the endearing story Bruce thought it was and it definitely wouldn't bring him closer to his so called siblings like the man always insisted anything 'cute' anyone of them did would do. It would be a teasing nightmare.

So mind made up, he jumped out of bed much earlier than he'd ever done before; from how the sun was barely peaking over the horizon it couldn't have been more than 3 hours since he'd been put to bed, and rushed to change.

"Bruce," he called out as he made his way down the stairs to the Batcave. "Bruce, you in here?"

"I'm afraid he is not Master Tim."

"Oh, hi Alfred," he said, smiling distractedly at the beloved butler and grandfather figure of their family. "What are you doing down here?"

"Cleaning up," Alfred lifted a single eyebrow, several of their superhero uniforms in hand. "I would assume that was obvious."

Tim flushed. "Sorry."

"It's quite alright young man," Alfred said, passing by him in two strides but not before he rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Master Bruce has for once done the reasonable thing and gone off to bed after carrying you upstairs last night. He is currently sleeping so if you need to talk to him, I suggest coming down for breakfast today." There was a tone of warmth underlined with scolding in his voice making Tim feel both appreciated and chastised.

"I will Alfred, thank you." With that he made his way over to the Bat-computer, set on getting some work done before breakfast was called and listened to the retreating footstep of the butler along with the tiny-almost not there, exasperated sigh that escaped him. He grinned. One of these days Alfred would keel over from the sheer amount of stress they piled on him. Tim almost felt bad if he didn't know how much Alfred thrived on reeling in their unhealthy habits.

Powering up the computer, he threw together a warm cup of tea; not being in a mood for coffee this early in the morning and sat down to go through the report he'd half-assed his way through last night.

He'd just made himself comfortable in his seat when he looked up and was met with tabs upon tabs about 'how to put forth convincing arguments to dissuade a family member from being a flat earther.' Tim blinked once, twice then slowly a third time just to make sure he was seeing what he was seeing.

"Oh, my, God," he breathed, taking a sip from his cup; the tea was rather sweet but he'd grown fond of the taste ever since Alfred introduced it to him. "Bruce thinks I'm a flat earther. Bruce legit thinks I'm a flat earther. Oh my God." Swiveling in his chair, he caught the edge of the table before he spun again. Leaning back to take in the full view of the screen. "Woah."

This was insane.

He'd been on a sleep deprived rant about pancakes and flat earths and Bruce just took him at his words. What, did the man seriously think Tim had been hiding a whole flat earth conspiracy from him for years and suddenly decided to spill his deep dark secret in the middle of the night. What even…..

When the first huff off laughter passed his lips, it took Tim slightly off guard. He hadn't really laughed in a while. It hadn't been easy, this past year but… Clapping as hand over his mouth, his body shook as another huff of laughter escaped until he was cackling like a mad witch, barely stopping himself from spilling the tea. Because, oh my God, Bruce thought he Tim, Timothy Jackson Drake Wayne who'd been to space and been in the Watchtower actually thought the earth was flat! And he was trying to save him on top of it. That was---

Throwing his head back he wheezed, hiccupping as tears trailed down his cheeks.

Oh, ouch ouch, his sides hurt.

This was so funny and freaking hell Bruce must have been so worried because he hadn't even remembered to close the tabs before he left to do God knows what. And Tim was the only one who knew. He was the only one who knew Bruce was freaking out---

Then he paused….wait. 'I'm the only one who knows,' he thought, mind running mile a minute. 'I'm the only one who knows Bruce believes I'm a flat earther.' And it was that very moment a metaphorical lightbulb went off over his head.

Oh this was going to be so much fun.

---------------

When Bruce later knocks on his door to call him down for breakfast, face barely concealing a troubled look Tim makes sure to smoothly; yet not too quickly, click out of a video easily visible to anyone standing by the threshold of his bedroom. He does it slowly enough that Bruce couldn't have failed to notice the square shaped earth but fast enough to look like he was trying to be casual while hiding something.

From the way the man's eyes darken and lips pull into a grimace, Tim had got him.

He bit back a grin and smiled up at Bruce, his face not showcasing any sense of guilt or portraying any expression associated with a teenager almost caught doing something they shouldn't. Bruce knew Tim was a good liar and having his face easily read would be out of character. So Tim needed to tread carefully. If this brilliant prank was supposed to work out, Bruce had to believe Tim had been going down this rabbit hole for a while and he, Bruce had been missing all the signs until now.

"Let's head downstairs son. Alfred insisted you eat breakfast before heading off to work today."

"Yeah, I know," he said standing up from his desk, stuffing his computer back in its case and grabbing his briefcase along with it. "I promised him that I would."

"Good," Bruce said, a ghost of a smile dancing across his lips.

"Hey B, can you fix my tie for me," he said, tilting his face back so his fath---Bruce could see it better. "It looks a little croaked."

"Of course I can," Smile now fully warming his eyes, Bruce leaned down and gently, almost as if he was afraid to break him, undid and then redid his tie. Brushing his fingers over it a couple of times, adjusting it this way or that until he finally seemed satisfied and leaned back. "There. Much better."

Tim felt his eyes stupidly prickle at the gesture. He was such a child for still feeling like this, every single time Bruce did something nice for him. Such a child.

"Thanks Bruce."

Patting his head but carefully as not to ruin his perfectly styled business meeting hairstyle, Bruce threw an arm over his shoulders and led them both downstairs. "You're welcome son."