#honestly i dont really care anymore as long as you give me credit

[podoro-vines]

hai can we use ur oc art for icons w credit?

sure thing! btw to everyone else, i dont allow reposts of my illustrations, but this one should be fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[coldheartsbreakboys]

ill start this by saying i understand @its-actually-minicika said the matter with @blackdreamspeaks is over and done but i literally cant let go of some things she said.

((also english is my second language so im sorry if i make mistakes 🤡 i will put this under the cut but i really think people should read this))

here is the problem. she said that she, takes the blame for what happened but she posts this after not even a full day of calling out that she did something wrong

there are no multiple sides to this story girl like none at all. it is literally the fact that you took content from mini/mina without credit and after you apologised you didnt even own it uppp. you said it was a coincidence and that you maybe took inspiration from her from the unconcious which is such a dumb excuse.

yesterday i sent you an ask with screenshots of compared writing from mini that she posted 2 months ago and stuff you posted 2 days ago. and it was clear you took the sentence from her without even an edit. you also used the same insult she used with hw aemond for your aemond. which is again really shitty and so clear because only she uses it.

i didnt compare everything you wrote in your update to hw because it is very long and i think that even those two things are enough to prove this point. it is not fair that you took from mini but then not even apologise in truth. you cant say this was a coincidence. you cant say this isnt done with intent. she is a very nice person and she deserves a real apology where you actually say that, yes you copied from her but that you re very sorry.

i waited for you to at least answer my ask if you were actually sorry and assuming your blame. because i wanted to give you the benefit of doubt and let you prepare your answer. sadly you never replied but i still have the screenshots even after your edit.

>

so this one is yours.

>

and this one is from minis series.

there was also the insult as i said but i didnt take screenshots of it before you edited. but the insult was 'whithered cunt' which mini wrote in the first part of hw and that was a long time ago.

you guys can cancel me if you want and whatever i honestly dont care because i am a small blog and i tbh dont even post. threaten to doxx or send me mean dms I fr dont careee

this is a post that i made for both mini and me because she deserves a real apology and you didnt give her that and also because i am honestly very angry. i think most people also dont know what happened because you never released the screenshots in my ask and you never actually said what you took from mini. because yes!!! you took from mini. there are no sides to this. there is the right side and that is mini. you play the victim too much and that is not okay. you are 21 and you should know better.

i end this by saying i understand you talked to mini and you say she is okay with everything now. she didnt say anything to any of her followers to do. she actually told me and someone else to not bother anymore with this drama. but i am bothered. and you are very frustrating. what you did is not okay at all

so girl bffr and take the blame. it isnt that hard. i might be back to edit this or to add stuff i think is important but these are the most important things that i can think of right now. i will post with the tags for hotd because people need to see this and i don't have many followers.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

life's been okay. nothing special. days just keep on going. ive had a job for bout 2 weeks. ig thats not really an achievement tbh.

before this, that work from home place i was barely working, prolly 5-10 hours a week. and i'd slither out of those where possible anyway. this one week i worked a whopping 2 hours within 2 weeks. I was planning on killing myself and occasionally tried to all throughout having those jobs so i wasn't really worried about the consequences

before that the only other in person job i had was for my ex best friend. she worked there so i applied and got a job o work with her. only for her to quit 2 weeks after i got in whiich lead me to quit prolly a week n a half later cause i finally got fed up with the manager.

so now, even tho it ain't the longest ive held down a place, its the first that i really cared to put in effort to hold a job.

im semi celebrating but im honestly miserable. my feet hurt so fucking bad so it literally doesnt matter how good my hours are i never want to leave my bed. the people up there are so cliquey and on my 2nd day out of training one of my coworkers went off on me for going too slow and "not putting in my part". theyre starting to give me longer and longer shifts. i went from working 3-4 8 hour shifts per week to working 3 doubles just like that. they sooo generously give an hour and a half break in between the 6:30-3 and 4:30-8 shift but.. who in their right mind is even leaving atp? i live too far for that. i'd be home for at most an hour. waste of gas.

and to me what's worse, this whole situation is exactly what i've been avoiding. i knew it'd come down to this someday. but what alternative do i have?

HA. you know as a kid, i never understood addiction. I never thought I'd have to deal with it. By the time I was 8 I knew I'd kill myself someday. if i ever felt bad, that'd be what i'd do. no need to force myself to do something i didnt really wanna do. but now it seems so easy. i don't know what i wanna do from here. i hate my job. i hate my home life. i dont like to talk to my friends anymore. im bored of games. im bored of music. bored of tv.

whisking the days away doing what i have to would be a lot easier if i didnt have to be fully present for all of this. just something to pass the time until i have a better handle on what's the next move. right now, the only thing i can do is save up money. i have shit to pay off if i wanna keep a good credit score and i have things i need to buy. what's me hating every second gonna change?

though i know it's a slippery slope. abusing shit aint gon work out as smooth as I wish it would. I'll get addicted and then I'll get used to feeling that way so it'll take more for me not to get annoyed. then it'll turn back to me immediately running back to it for every minor situation. and honestly with the job i got i'd just have to hope i would be able to push through it without it being noticeable

i'm not happy i stopped. i feel like had i still been on dph i would've known for a fact how to make myself look normal. i could be gone out my mind but long as i get the shit right i could just daze through the days. but ya know. now. i ratted myself out

and now im stuck.

nothing more for me to do. nothing else i could be doing. nothing else i should be worried about other than making money

I never understood why adults always told me i'd miss being a kid since i was always struggling so bad. all they ever said is that my problems then were gonna feel like nothing once i was an adult. but they were wrong. i guess for now. but all i wish now is that i used all that freetime back when nooo one woulda suspected anything if i was away for a lil while. back when i wasnt ful grown and it'd prolly take a whooole lot less to finish the job

but here we are. forced to keep going and doing what i can to suppress what i really wanna do

ah speaking of which... i got pissed the other day and i tossed one of my drawers and broke it. then broke my bottle for my vitamins by throwing it to the ground. then i accidentally knocked over this container of beads and instead of just sweeping it back into the thing and reducing the mess, i just kicked it as hard as i could and tore the container apart. there's still beads everywhere

that is something i can't force myself to contain anymore. everything else i've been dealing with fine but when im pissed im pissed. i gotta get that under control too

[jollyreginaldrancher]

Yellowjackets S2 e5

Why are they talking about the baby in the recap? Is Shauna gonna give birth soon? Or miscarry? Something is gonna happen with the baby for sure.

The vibes in Van's place are immaculate.

Excuse me, you mean to tell me there were other people in the room while they were having their moment? Like were they unaware that queer history was happening right in front of them, or?

TAI REALLY FELL FOR HER 😅

I could go on about how Van's place/shop indicate she is also stuck in time or regressing like the others but I feel like I've been ranting too long in these posts. It is weird she just threw her bills away though. Almost like she was not planning on staying there long enough for the consequences to reach her. Was she living a nomadic life or was she just about to pack up and move? Or were her problems so bad she was just giving up on them? I dont know. I could analyse that in a million different ways but ultimately I just need more info really.

Speaking of which, I hope the scene continues after the credits. If we have to wait all episode for an update again I don't know what I am gonna do.

Oh we're back to the friggin cabin.

I'm gonna set it in fire 😤

Van's not sleeping with Taissa anymore? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

She woke up unattached to her. Is this her way of breaking things off? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Please tell me she just got up to pee.

Oh thank god they're still together 😅

They're giving me life at the moment so I'm just happy to see them together.

Shauna's belly looks massive for someone who's stranded in the woods with nothing to eat. I feel like there's no way the baby and stomach would get that big.

Honestly let's take a moment to think about how much it would have sucked for Shauna being not only pregnant as a teen in that situation but also her best friend dying and losing any sort of comfort she had from that relationship on top of everything else. Like I can close my eyes and imagine Jackie helping her or snuggling up to her or giving her a massage or whatever cause she was that kind of friend. And now that's gone.

I completely understand why she would go into that shed to talk to her and Tai is fooling herself if she thinks she'd be any better if Van really did die when she got mauled to death.

"happy wife happy life" now you're getting it 😘

Honestly glad Trevor is at the cult therapy session. He needed some anger management and this is the closest thing to that in this scenario.

Did nobody tell Callie that her new friend is a cop or is this a scheme of some sort?

Would it be bad if I just skipped all these filler scenes and just watched the bits that I cared about? This is honestly starting to resemble pretty little liars in a bad way with all the random filler comphet relationships. Like I had to wait through so many Ezra and Aria scenes just to get to the good stuff (Paige and Emily) and it feels like this show is kind of turning into the same thing at this point.

Every interesting scene is intercut with random shit of straight people screwing or married couples fighting and crap like that. We get like one gay scene but we have to sit through 45 minutes of other crap to get to it and it's not fair.

I don't hate any of these characters, they're just spreading the runtime time too thin between too many characters. Cut Callie out completely. Take out a chunk of Shauna and Jeff's stuff, they haven't really been interesting since Adam's death. Even Misty is suffering due to her forced collaboration with that shitty stalker of hers. Nat and Lottie and Tai and Van is where the present day story is at but their scenes are moving along at a snail's pace because they just spend way too much time trying to showcase other characters. Especially when things are really picking up in these other stories. I'm getting whiplash with the way the focus is constantly changing between all these groups of characters.

And I know other shows do it too (Game of thrones, bold and the beautiful, etc) but it's still really frustrating that it's happening here.

At least we're learning a bit about the cards. Though we already heard about them, we never really saw how they used them to divide tasks.

Not Randy 😅 why is he always the go-to for these lies? 🤣

If he hadn't been to taco bell how would he know the beans upset his stomach? He's clearly lying there. Also I still think he is shifty as fuck.

Oh my god we're FINALLY gonna see Van and Taissa interact as adults 🥹

I just know Van is looking at that wedding tape and wishing that was her and Tai 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Van is sharp as a whistle. She immediately hit the nail on the head.

They were together at Shauna's wedding? 🥹 Or at least they were talking and interacting back then 🥹🥹

Please, for the love of God, tell me they got that pretzel 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Just know I'm hanging onto every word Van and Taissa say.

A bunch of other scenes and things happened and I didn't really care because Van and Taissa weren't there and I'm lazer-focused on them at the moment.

Like I love Melanie Lynskey but I didn't even want to look at her straight shenanigans. Just show us the lesbians please and thank you 😭

Crystal and Misty are bonding though and it's cute but it's making me worry that Crystal is going to get killed off soon. They tend to not focus on anybody but the mains and the characters that get killed off and since Crystal only really started cropping up recently I feel it would be naive to assume they were just showing more of the other yellowjackets out of the goodness of their hearts and not just to make us sad when they eventually killed them off.

One thing I did not anticipate is how much I would end up loving these characters...specifically the yellowjacket girls, and even more specifically the lesbians (Shauna, Nat, Van, Misty, and Taissa). I am just so glad all my babies are all alive 😌 and now Van and Taissa can get back together and live happily ever after 🥰

Nothing against Simone but she doesn't get Tai like Van does. And while divorcing would be hard I think it's safe to say their marriage is beyond saving at this point. Not only did they lose love and trust but when your partner actively fears you then you NEED to step away.

Anyway Crystal and Misty are cute -though some of those stories they're sharing feel like something they should be unpacking with a psychiatrist and not a friend- but I am really worried about Crystal...wait, Kristen, apparently.

Oh no. Misty no, please tell me she's not going to tell her about the black box.

Misty nooooo 😭😩 why would you tell her that? Read the room!

I'm honestly getting autism vibes from Misty if I'm being honest. Mostly from the deodorant thing.

Yeah, Crystal is definitely gonna die.

See I don't even want to write RIP because of the obvious joke (rest in poop).

I'm guessing eating Crystal is out of the question. Cannibalizing a corpse is bad enough but cannibalizing a corpse that fell into the poop pit is just beyond the realm of acceptable.

Nat must be on some mission here because up til now she was desperate to escape and I don't think two therapy sessions would have really had that effect on her unless there's a lot more to their relationship in the past that we have yet to watch. Maybe related to that cult stuff. Though with the info we have now it seems more like a rivalry and like Nat is trying to break her cult up from the inside rather than trying to join it. Although cults do have more of an effect on people who fit Nat's circumstances, who are isolated and don't have much of anything going on for them.

I'm lowkey hoping Misty Crystals that William guy that's with her because I don't trust him and I can't stand him and historically her friends don't dare well.

Anyway I'm clueing onto the fact that Misty has some deep seated issues with self loathing and only pursues friendships with people like Nat, who hate her or otherwise look down on her because she can't accept being treated with love and respect as she doesn't feel like she deserves it.

Basically Misty is a masochist and turning away someone who looks up to her (or at least appears to worship her) because she hates herself and doesn't feel worthy of love and this is the way she's stagnated (like all the other girls have) and gotten stuck at age 16.

Honestly the vibe I'm getting is they're all punishing themselves. Nat through drugs, Shauna through sticking it out with Jeff because she feels like she HAS to make it worth basically killing Jackie, Misty through living a life of Loveless was and anonymity where she just cares for other people who would never care about her and Tai and Van by giving up the one thing that kept them while and sane; each other.

Everybody's making a sacrifice.

Shauna/Randy is cracking me up. I forgot he had some useful info he could share with her. Their scene was funny though at least and a break from the usual torture her scenes with her family are.

Is Tai really joining team Lottie or just playing peacekeeper?

Tell me that drug isn't a sign of bad times for Van. Like, I am sure it's a bad omen but just like to me.

I'm guessing painkiller or something like that. Lowkey hoping Van just had some bad injury and needed it, and not that she's addicted to it or needing it to survive.

There's a lot of other similar looking bottles in that shelf though 😭

Like she was watching that wedding video and it looked like she was longing for something. I don't want to jinx it, I'll shut up now 😭😭😭😭😭

When she said the V is for Vicky I thought she married someone named Vicky 😅 but no that's her mom's name. It's horrible she got cancer and died. Isn't it generic though? Van might not be out of the woods 🥺

If she survived all that just to get cancer and die I will kill myself 🙃

Anyway Van is right and has every right to be upset probably. It looks like Taissa was the first one to walk away. I don't know if we'll get more details but that's the vibe that we're getting here. Like it seems like Taissa left her behind and Van has been waiting for her all this time 🥹

TAISSA LOVES VAN CONFIRMED!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL! GRAB YOUR U-HAULS AND YOUR SLEEPING BAGS BECAUSE VANTAI IS A GO!!!!!!!🥹🎉🎊

The gals are holding each other and crying, that's second base in lesbian.

The downside is we have to look at the other characters now. On the plus side I was right about Nat staying behind because she doesn't trust Lottie.

The wild thing is that Lottie did all that and Nat is the one looking insane in that scene. Like, read the room hon, this is a cult, they are self aware enough to know they're in a cult, they just don't care that it's a cult.

Honestly not surprised Shauna is terrified. Who wouldn't be in that scenario? But i feel like the subplot with Misty's friend dying should sort of take precedence over a simple fight. Unless it's not just a fight. I mean it's not like the baby's coming, they can wait a little

I just had to jinx it, didn't I?

Misty trying to save Crystal though was pretty heartbreaking. I thought she would run back to camp and play innocent. She really went all the way around to the bottom of the cliff just to try and save her immediately after threatening to kill her. Like I feel that shows she doesn't really mean to hurt people,

He really sniffed the splooge sponge?!

Misty: I lost Crystal in the storm

Van *is already out the door screaming Tai's name*

Is Shauna gonna give birth in the woods?

Are Van and Taissas's lesbian powers going to help the girlies get back to camp?

Speaking of Tai and Van we're back to the gals being pals. They fell asleep on the couch and Van covered Taissa with a blankie because she's in love with her 😌

There's no other explanation

And then Van painfully took her meds pretty much confirming she's the one that's sick.

You know what, I have decided to stop being a sceptic and lean into the cult stuff. If it cures whatever Vanessa has going on I'd be willing to convert 🥹

The girls are kissing 🥰🥰🥰

It was the other girl and Van but still.

I'm starting to think evil Tai has a widdle cwush on Van because that's twice now she took the chance to kiss her unprompted. 🫢

I want to believe in that "drunk words are sober thoughts" but instead of drunk words it's possessed smooching. I've decided that these two are getting back together and that they will get married and live happily ever after and buy a dog. Specifically a border Collie. They will have a yard and a VHS store and will live to be old. They will sip iced tea on the front porch and Van will be wearing jeans into her 80s. And when they do go it will be peacefully, in bed with each other, holding hands, in their sleep, together 🥹

That's canon now.

Anyway the show is trying to bait me into shipping Lottie with Nat but I've already decided that Nat is secretly in love with Misty so that's not gonna happen.

Maybe there's an AU where they all died. Maybe that universe is the good one.

Is it hunting at multiple universes? Or is the vision hinting at them being dead all along and being in limbo or hell? If Van dies we'll know it's hell.

Or maybe there really was something in the woods and they did bring it with them. Maybe that's why they refused to grow up and why they kept punishing themselves.

Then again maybe that something isn't an evil spirit but mental thing. That's what the sceptic in me would say if I hadn't drowned her when it became obvious that Van is dying.

The lesbian powers DID work! I knew they had some sort of telepathic connection. How else do you explain them constantly finding one another and so on.

Oh Shauna is giving birth to that baby like right now. Fuck the next episode is gonna be spectacular. I'm surprised they didn't hold out til the finale. They must have something bigger up their sleeve for that then. If they fucking kill Van I will be destroyed so hopefully not that though.

[goremet-chef]

DREADFUL so dreadful but the only step is to just reach forward. like all i need to do is pick up my pen but i cant. wish i could tho

art will always be my passion, even if it bothers me sometimes. its all ive ever been good at, fantastic outlet for creativity and emotional buildup but i just. sometimes i cant move and i dont know why and its literally inches away from me but i can hardly move forward yknow? im fine physically, but mentally its like this huge step that seems so intimidating

i feel like i live off of outcomes and when the outcome isnt certain my brain goes haywire and holds me in place until the outcome can settle. but? this outcome IS the same. its so easy, ive done it before. reach and grab, draw what yr dying to draw

im drowning myself in lethal company things im so excited and im . all my minecraft ocs and my sotf ocs like i have so much i need to make and just.. no will to do it. but i want to! want to more than anything. id feel better if i did, which is true i would feel better. when it builds up inside you its OVERWHELMING like insanely so. i can get it out and free myself if i just DO it but theres always this barrier between what i want and what i actually do yknow? very lame

yknow art is my passion even if it hurts me sometimes it makes me very happy and i like to create, everyone likes to create. i like to see what i can do, like to bring all these buzzing thoughts to reality. can hardly hold onto them long enough to do that but i try at least. sometimes i feel really really unreliable and i dont know why?

i dont do commissions anymore, i pretty much ONLY draw for myself. who are you disappointing? who do you THINK yr disappointing? no one even remembers all the times you say "im drawing this 😼", YOU dont even remember all the times you say that. theres no pressure, you can do it whenever you want, it doesnt make you worse or anything. art is for you, you'll get to it when you can

yes :] i think i probably will. im just trying to make myself feel better honestly its something that eats at me and i dont know why?

its like some HORRIBLE combination of impostor syndrome and bpd fears like "oh no im not good enough!!! i need to provide i need to create for others to consume to prove im worthy" and then when i DO create, when too many people like it its.. i feel like ive conned them, surely i didnt make something that good, i must have faked it somehow and the attention is undeserved

SHIT LIKE THAT honest to god all my mento illnesses come together and hold hands like some really fucked up version of the power rangers. all of them collide in the WORST ways possible its. what is bro doing in there !!!! seriously its actually comically tragic but i live in spite this, i probably always will live in spite of it. sometimes im like wow lets let everything wash over and give up, this hell isnt worth it. but isnt it? back and forth black and white, world is ending world is beautiful type shit. when it feels over i just try to remember all that stuff that and it forces me to remember that there is no giving up on this, wouldnt give it up for the world. its mine and ill keep it

as i was saying tho, i feel so much happier drawing when i try to keep it out of mind. like yes, of course i love the attention. who doesnt? but i used to be INCREDIBLY numbers driven for like. hefty chunk of my art history. like little 11 yr old me breaking coppa on dA had so much fun just drawing hot garbage and sharing it and it never got like any likes but i didnt even CARE i just. to be able to create and share is the best part of all

i wish i was like him again. im not that boy, not anymore, but i remember him and i keep him close. all that cringe bullshit and i was having so much fun

ill give myself some credit yknow. im an adult, money is a necessity in this world. art becomes more of a chore and something i feel pressured on because logically its the only thing i can DO right to make a quick buck like. its the one thing i know i can do. but having my passion turn into something like that? dreadful

sometimes you cant avoid it, i just have to do my best to look past it and recognize that beneath all that shit. theres something in me that needs to draw, the same thing that forces me to carry sketchbooks and pencils with me wherever i go, even if i never use them. just this lingering presence that screams at me and tells me that i will create. i will! i will create

[quotidian-oblivion]

FF ask: if a fic title was "New day, old problems" what would you write in it?

Just came up with that title on the spot and low-key not that bad

I love that title, Vibey. I think i'll call on you next time when i need to title something. Spare the readers from dad jokes for once.

Hmm, let's see. I would write about... ugh i cant think. I'm not in my writers mood rn. Which ask number is this? It's no. 13.

Hmm, i'd write about Tim going through A Day. He keeps being pelted with problems left and right. WE assignments. Overdue tasks. A new case opened up. A mugging that ended up with him getting stabbed. Jason's in the manor today and everyone is on edge as they always are with him. Just problems ad problems and he's getting stressed and stressed.

And then Damian's making a fuss cuz of course he does, he's a little brother and little brothers are legally obligated to get on their older brothers' nerves. So Damian's berating him about something, maybe his inattentiveness cuz he got stabbed in a mugging.

Dick is sending glances at him, unsure of whether or not to interrupt cuz Tim's been real cagey after the whole Bruce gets lost in time fiasco. Speaking of Bruce, they still haven't had that conversation after returning back.

So Tim gets up and walks away from Damian while the kid is still talking and then he trips, but manages to keep from falling, but it shakes his stitches and he's in pain and gets reminded of when he lost his spleen, he was bleeding in the desert and of how alone he felt and how he still feels lonely. He thought everything would be alright. He thought it would all be okay after saving Bruce. But it's not. It's still not okay. He's still alone.

He's always.

Fucking.

Alone.

So he crumples to his knees and his shoulders start shaking and tears start dripping and then the whole Cave freezes. Dick asks what happened and Tim... Tim doesn't have the strength to reply. He bursts into sobs. Openly. He doesn't care anymore.

The whole family gathers around him now, unsure as to how they can reassure him, but Tim throws himself to the person nearest to him. Which was coincidentally Bruce. He sobs into Bruce's arms and the delicate stitches rip and he's bleeding on him as well. But he doesn't care. He's given up now.

It seems that Bruce doesn't care either cuz he isn't showing any signs of letting go. Instead, he starts stroking Tim's hair. And Tim melts.

Snot and tears and drool are leaking everywhere. Tim hasn't cried in a long time. He's almost forgotten the experience.

"What's wrong, chum?" Bruce asks quietly, still running his fingers through his hair.

Tim is about to shake his head, but stops. He doesn't care now, does he? He doesn't care about what answer he gives.

"I feel alone," he whispers, so so quietly. And so so honestly. He's never been this honest before.

Anyway, so then the batfam comforts him blah blah. Damian was actually worried about his brother and didnt know how to express it. Dick too was worried and didnt know how to fix their relationship again. Jason was sorry and he still is cuz it was about time he accepted Tim as his brother. And Bruce... Bruce just wasn't sure if Tim still wanted to be his son.

And so, the batfamily and Tim learn an important lesson. Communication! Which, yk, is something they're sorely missing.

~

Idk if this is too long, but eh. I'm not gonna turn this into a proper fic though, dont really feel like it. If you or anyone else wants to, then thats fine! Give credit where its due and all, but yeah. Hope you like it cuz i literally made it on the spot and im still going through my burnout so idk if this is really that good.

Also, i dont usually write in present tense, i just plan plotlines in it. I mainly write with past tense cuz thats the only tense i feel is easy to be consistent with for me.

Thanks for this question, Vibes, I really liked it!

[stargazing-enby]

I had a dream that harry and draco were both aurors and they were married to ginny and astoria and then got sent to a mission and they had to do a steak out????? But ofc there was tension so they were like uuuuhhhhh we should bring our wives bc uuuuhhh we cant be away from them too long ya know and they all spend a month or two in a house and shit and ginny and astoria fall in love and bc theyre badass ladies they are upfront about it and then harry and draco are like.... Guess we should a dress

our thing too huh?? And then albus and scorpious have 2 moms and 2 dads (ginny and astoria were both pregnant btw, dont know if i already said that) and it was weirdly amazing and i didnt know who else to tell so yea

***

Anon, your mind. First of all, thanks so much for sharing your dream with me because it's honestly amazing. Second of all, I was re-reading your asks the other day wondering if I should try to write this, and soon after that I took the (ill-advised) decision to take a nap and started dreaming about your prompt. Now I feel like I share a special, oneiric connection with you! Anyway, I hope you enjoy :)

Thanks @april-thelightfury115 for betaing!

Drarry | 2.3k | Teen and Up | Falling in Love, Break Up, Getting Together, Kid Fic, Pregnancy | Read on AO3

At first, Ginny had been mad. Offended, even, that her husband had thought it a great idea to make her share a house with Astoria Malfoy for Merlin knew how long while he and Draco ran off to chase some suspect.

“The only thing that woman and I have in common is that we're pregnant,” Ginny had argued, “and that we're both married to bloody idiots!” 

Three weeks into the stakeout, however, Ginny had to admit she’d been wrong. Although wrong wasn't perhaps the most accurate of word choices, since she and Astoria were, like she’d suspected, completely different kinds of people. Where Ginny was passionate and intense, Astoria was quiet, an aura of serenity always surrounding her. Where Ginny bickered and joked and threw jibes around with her husband whenever she had the chance, Astoria was all subtle touches; a small caress to Draco's shoulder before they left home in the morning, a careful take care whispered in his ear. 

Where Ginny was fire, Astoria was water: cleansing and soothing and calm. 

But she had been utterly, dangerously wrong in that she couldn’t help but find Astoria Malfoy intoxicating. 

“Darling.” Astoria had recently taken to calling her that when they were on their own, in a tone that Ginny could not bring herself to believe to be purely neutral. “Are you sure you're not tired? I sincerely doubt they'll arrive before dawn this morning—we don't have to stay awake if you don't want to.”

“No, no—” Ginny couldn’t help but shiver as the small realisation washed over her for seemingly the hundredth time that night: the realisation that Harry, as much as she adored him, could not have had any less to do with her wanting to stay awake. “I don't want to give up the chance to beat you one more time.” 

Astoria smiled at her, cheeky.

“Very well,” she said, and, after a moment, moved one of her knights on the board. She didn't take her eyes off Ginny as the Knight destroyed one of Ginny's pawns; her eyes sparkled with naughty mirth, and Ginny's breath caught. 

A moment later, a wave of guilt drowned the butterflies in her stomach, and Ginny looked down at the chess board and told herself that she was in love with her husband. Utterly, helplessly in love. 

Except you aren't, a little voice said. You love him. You love him more than anything. You’ve loved him since forever; you'll love him for forever, because he'll always be the person who gave you your son. But you are not in love with him anymore. You haven't been for a while now. 

“Ginny.” 

She raised her head. 

“You're not thinking about the game.” 

It wasn't a question. 

Astoria knew. She wasn't stupid. She knew she wasn't meant to be calling Ginny darling, knew of the emotions—deep, fierce, raging—that ran under Ginny's skin whenever they shared a smile, a look; whenever one's fingertips found the other's knuckles and their knees brushed and bumped almost on their own accord in the middle of their nightly conversations. 

“I'm not,” Ginny said. “I'm thinking about us.” 

Astoria let out a breath, shoulders sagging. She looked down, but Ginny waited, gaze steady, for Astoria to look back up at her. 

“It's late,” Astoria said after a moment. 

“I think I'm falling in love with you.”

Astoria closed her eyes, a slow frown twisting her sharp features. 

“I know.” It was barely a murmur. 

“I know you know,” Ginny said, a challenge. 

Astoria met her gaze, then, and Ginny's resolve wavered when she realised just how terrified Astoria was.

“Hey,” Ginny murmured, standing up. Astoria, lips trembling, buckled over to make room for her in the settee. “Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry—” 

“It's not your fault.” Even though her head was turned away from Ginny, Astoria leaned into her touch. “None of this is your fault. Draco is—” Her voice broke, and Ginny held her hand with both of hers, aching, yearning to hold Astoria in her arms and take the pain away. But she couldn't. “Draco is a wonderful man. He's attentive, and loving, and he's funny, and…”

A tear fell into Astoria's shirt over her tummy. 

“And he's my best friend. But he and I are not in love. We never have been.”

That caught Ginny off-guard. 

“Never?” 

Astoria laughed, a broken, pathetic sound. 

“Never. Our parents planned our union soon after I left Hogwarts. I was horrified at first, but after getting to know him, there was a time when I really thought I would fall in love with him in time. That he'd fall in love with me. And we did end up loving each other, mind you: he will always be my closest friend. It's just not…”

“Yeah,” Ginny said softly. “I understand.”

Astoria turned to look at her, then. Seeing her teared up made something inside Ginny snap, and she reached out, held Astoria's cheeks in her hands, thumbing at her messy tears. 

“Harry and I were in love for a long time, but… I think he knows just as well as I do that the love we feel now is purely platonic.” She smiled—chuckled. “In fact, a small part of me suspects whatever he feels for Draco right now is more intense than what he ever felt for me.” 

That tore a laugh out of Astoria. 

“I would not be surprised if that was the case. Those two…” She shook her head. “They're incorrigible.”

Ginny groaned in agreement. A moment later, though, her smile faded away and she was left with Astoria's face cradled in her hands. Their legs pressed together, their eyes searching the other's face. Scared, but hopeful. 

Sliding her hands down Astoria's neck and shoulders, and then squeezing her arms, Ginny let out a slow, deep breath. 

“I think we need to have a conversation with our husbands.”

***

“You… What?” 

To Harry's credit, he looked more baffled than anything else. 

“We're in love,” Astoria repeated, voice steady, but gaze pleading with Draco to understand. 

“I… Okay. Okay. Give me one second.” Harry turned around and sat down on the nearest chair. 

Draco remained still. As far as Ginny was aware, he’d barely even blinked since they'd started explaining the situation to them.

“Are you going to say anything?” Harry asked after a moment, turning to Draco. When Draco shook his head, gaze still fixed in some distant point in space, Harry stood again, leaning his weight against the table. “Okay, so first of all, this is all extremely awkward.” 

“We were aware of that much, thank you,” Astoria said. 

“I mean, both of you are pregnant. With our babies.” He gestured between him and Draco. “Not to mention that we're married, although that's slightly less permanent…” 

Draco huffed, and the three of them turned to him. When he didn't say anything, Harry continued. 

“But I guess it… makes sense? I mean—you two are sort of like… the perfect opposites, you know. I always knew you would get on well. I didn't suspect you'd get on this well, but, hey—” 

“Have you—” Draco's head seemed to be stuck mid-shake, eyes scrunched closed. “Have you done anything? With one another?” 

“No, darling.” The word sounded different, Ginny thought, when Astoria used it for Draco. “We were waiting to tell you.” 

He nodded, but didn't say anything else. When Astoria approached him, Ginny took a step back to give them some space and leaned into the table with Harry. 

“I love you,” she told him. 

“And I you,” Harry said, eyes low. Gulping, he took Ginny's hand in his. “But… I mean, I think both of us had noticed that something was… that something wasn't…” 

“I know.” She squeezed his hand. “I know.” 

He looked up at her, and Merlin, he looked so, so vulnerable in that moment that Ginny wished more than ever that she could love him the way he deserved to be loved. But that simply wasn’t for her to do.

“I still would like for us to raise our son together,” he murmured. 

“We will. Harry, I don't care what happens from now on. You're still my best friend, and you're still the father of my kid. Nothing is going to change that. Okay?” 

Harry nodded, and, biting his lip, turned his gaze to Draco and Astoria. After a moment, Ginny did too. 

Draco was crying. 

“Come on, let's give them some space,” she said, pushing herself off the table. Harry followed her out of the room. 

***

“Draco…”

No reply came. Harry looked at him, but Draco's gaze was fixed somewhere outside the car window. 

They'd spent countless hours inside that car, in that very watch post. Hours chatting, and bickering, and taking turns to sleep while the other watched the house for any signs of activity. 

It had never been awkward before now. 

“Look, we need to talk,” Harry said. Draco huffed, unamused. “We need to talk because we both know our wives are not the only ones who’d noticed something wasn’t right before yesterday’s conversation. They were just the only ones brave enough to be upfront about it.” 

In the moment it took Draco to turn around, Harry thought of Draco's head on his shoulder; of the way it had felt when Draco had fallen asleep there, of the way he'd been so careful not to let it fall so Draco wouldn't wake up. He thought of the way their arms brushed whenever they walked, wands in hand, toward a dangerous location. Thought of the very reason they'd been so adamant that their wives should come with them on this mission: a truth they'd refused to confront, and that had gone and slapped them in the face anyway. 

“Do you understand how terrifying this is for me?” Draco finally said, body turned to Harry, but gaze fixed on his knees. “To know that my life as I know it, as I always expected it to be, is over? Do you think”—he looked up at Harry, and Merlin, he looked so scared Harry had to hold back from reaching out to him—“that I haven't noticed that I'm in love with Harry Potter, and not with the woman I'm about to have a baby with?” 

Harry held his breath. Searched in Malfoy's eyes, desperately, for any hint that he was about to take back his words. Then, almost out of breath:

“I'm in love with you too.”

Draco let out a desperate laugh. 

“I know that, you bloody idiot,” he choked out. “Fuck, I know.”

Harry bit his lip. Reached out, rested a hand over Draco's trembling, fisted own. 

For a few moments, neither spoke. 

“I'm sorry,” Harry murmured eventually. “I'm sorry things can't be different.” 

Draco started playing with Harry's fingers, and Harry closed his eyes—marvelled in how warm Draco's hands felt. How careful they were even as he fidgeted. 

“I'm glad they told us,” Draco said. “I want Astoria to be happy, and I know she'd never be completely happy with me.” A sigh. “I wouldn't, either. Not with her. I just… I need some time to come to terms with it.” 

Harry's fingers turned and turned between Draco's nervous own. 

“That's okay. I don't mind waiting for you.”

Their eyes met. 

“Okay,” Draco said. 

Harry squeezed his hand. Smiled. 

“Okay.”

***

The whoosh of the hearth letting someone through was quickly followed by two high-pitched squeals. By two very excited cries of, “Daddy!” 

Harry smiled to himself when he heard Draco's laughter coming from the living room as he—presumably—was tackled to the floor by Albus and Scorpius. 

“Boooys,” Harry called after a moment. “Come grab some cookies from the kitchen!” 

A few seconds later, the two five-year-old tornadoes were rushing toward the tray, barely sparing Harry a glance. Harry shook his head, grinning. 

“Where's my hug?” 

“Daddy!” Albus, face already full of crumbs, ran toward Harry's arms. “Your cookies are the best!” 

“Mmh!” Scorpius agreed. 

“I'm glad you like them.” Harry ruffled Al's hair. “Do save some for later, though!” 

Draco walked in, grabbed a cookie. “How are your mums?” he asked while he gave Harry a sonorous kiss on the cheek, the crumbs on Draco’s mouth scratching against his stubble. 

Harry was about to complain when Albus stretched his arms out, asking to be picked up. 

“They have a date today,” he—quite loudly—whispered in Harry's ear. 

“Do they, now!” 

“A date in a restawant with candles and a lot of different forks,” Albus explained. “And—and they were wearing really pretty dresses!” 

“Really? What colour?” Draco asked, picking Scorpius up too. 

“Mum's was red,” Scorpius said. “And mummy's was, uh, it was really pretty, and—” 

“And sparkly!” Albus squealed. “Black and sparkly!” 

“Wow! I don’t think Draco and I own anything so pretty!” Harry turned to Draco. “What do you think?” 

“Hmmm…” Draco dragged the sound out, sharing a mischievous look with Scorpius. “I’m not sure… I think we might have some sparkly garments hidden in the back of our wardrobe, but I’m sure Al and Scorp won’t be interested in—”

“We want to see!” Scorpius screamed, wiggling in his father’s arms. 

“We want to see, we want to see!” Albus chanted.

Harry and Draco shared a smile. 

“Very well, then,” Draco said solemnly, setting Scorpius down. “Let’s see which of you can find the prettiest clothes in our bedroom for us to wear today.” 

The kids darted upstairs, and, before following them, Harry took Draco’s hand in his and kissed his husband’s cheek in return.

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

[quitetheketch-moved]

so I’ve been seeing bad taste in youtubers, not like in my mutuals or anything but in general but it made me want to make a like, recommended list of youtubers i like who are pretty chill if not full on comrades so here we are - not prompted by anything specific but an itch I got here some of the channels I like:

Cooking:

BORE.D - Fun cooking channel with a stylish presentation 

Chinese Cooking Demystified - Like it says on the tin, informative authentic Chinese dishes from all over the country. 

David Seymour - started with buzzfeed taste tests but now covers most big cooking channels seeing if he can recreate them and how they are

Maangchi - Plz cook for me, like i’m begging feed me it all looks amazing 

My Name Is Andong - fun cooking videos from all over, especially the ones about Russian food.

Simply Sara Kitchen  - good home style cooking 

Souped Up Recipes - Traditional Chinese cooking

Movies/Tv:

Accented Cinema - a video essay channel with a focus on Asian cinema

Folding Ideas - Not strictly about film but I tend to watch a lot of essayists who fall into multiple things and I kinda just have to lean into their main aesthetic but Dan is a gif so check him out.

Jack Saint  - Jack and Joel have a lot of similar style of content but Jack leans into media stuff more so i’m moving him over here. (although i’ve been working on this post for over an hour going through my alphabetical yt sub list and i’m starting to regret trying to categorize them)

PushingUpRoses  - a must watch if you love old tv especially Murder She Wrote

Renegade Cut - Does games too, and frankly they are some of their best work, but quality media analysis.

Ryan Hollinger - Horror movie analysis

Scaredy Cats  - More horror movie analysis but my favorite channel of this kind

Gaming Essays:

Adam Millard - video essays about video games - really recommend the video on Frog Fractions and the Longing

Curio - I’m putting them here because theres been a big focus on games lately and they recently started twitch streaming which is fun but really it’s all media essay. Just please check out their four part Witcher series adfkj it’s the most recent so easy to find.

Errant Signal - I dont have much to add other than please check out Errant Signal, they dont post much but I am in love with this channel.

Game Maker's Toolkit  - in depth essays about elements of game design

Jim Sterling  - Okay not essays but gaming news - if you dont check out anyone else here you should still check out Jim. Especially if you care about the rights of workers in the gaming industry. 

Gaming Play:

Biffa Plays Indie Games - mostly does Cities Skylines but sometimes other, great videos to relax to.

GaLm - GaLm deserves so much much than he gets, Love him been watching him for forever and honestly he’s enough of a workaholic that there’s so much content you WILL find something you like. All complete with critical analysis.

GrayStillPlays - one of the few like, non overtly left-os here but listen, if you want some slightly silly slightly more edgy style of video game videos to kinda turn off your brain and just enjoy you cant get much better than grey. He’s chaos but chaos that doesn’t rely on racism. Maybe one too many jokes about addiction but they aren’t usually punching down so???

John Wolfe - chill horror youtuber - not much to say but one of my favorites.

KatherineOfSky - want the most soothing voice ever to gently play hardcore logistic games at you? Well holy fuzzy cats, you’re home.

Many A True Nerd - Partner to Claire in the category below, known for his fallout but plays just about anything. Also loves grand strategy and paradox games. Good playlist management too do easy to find what you need.

Wanderbots - A just, massive amount of indie game content.

Commentary/Other:

Claire Rousseau - Books youtuber who is just a delight, I dont know how else to describe her but even tho I dont read anymore i’d still die for her.

Courtreezy -  just the queen of being bubbly and fun (some of these I dont have good sales pitches for just *shoves them at you* give em a shot)

D'Angelo Wallace and dangelowallace - Main and second channel, both the same kind of content but the formats are different. Dont always agree with all his opinions but man, theres no fault in the way he presents and researches them - solid essayist but also just oozes charisma and good times.

Drawfee Show - one of the bigger channels here save D’Angelo above so you may already be familiar with them but just a fun weekly drawing show. Good times.

Foo the Flowerhorn  - Watch fish be fed bits of blanched vegetables, like that either sells you or not but it’s Good.

Jarvis Johnson and Jarvis Johnson! GOLD - primary and secondary channels, pure commentary channel on a wide range of topics - i recommend the videos on 5 min crafts and the bachelor.

Life in Jars? - Eco-spheres and terrariums oh me :0

MacDoesIt - Gay chaotic energy, just chock full of Moods and fun times.

Sarah Z - Unofficial tumblr historian

Politics:

Big Joel - kinda variety content, plenty of media analysis but through a strongly leftist lens. Torn between here and commentary but the balance is slightly more overtly political than just media commentary through a political lens so here we go.

Black Red Guard - A black leftist commentary/essay channel focused on black issues and self described as a “New Afrikan Maoist”, this is fairly new channel I found so I’m not as good at describing his content def not better than he does but solid stuff through a perspective I wouldn’t normally get.

hbomberguy - Just watch his video on Pathologic please. Or like, watch 20 mins then go play Pathologic then come back after you’ve beaten it and Pathologic 2 and finish the video.

Innuendo Studios  - Frankly I had no idea where to put this one, because it’s a little of everything but mostly media analysis but also please watch the alt-right playbook if you like, want to understand more about how radicalization happens.

KAR - Black anarchist channel, solid political videos but shorter than most of the ones here so better for consuming when you dont have much time.

Leslie Exp - Videos about disability

Luna oi! and NonCompete  - frankly best agitprop communist duo. A good place to start learning about mutual aid and what anarchism is, beginner friendly videos on leftist theory.

Philosophy Tube - Videos are super polished and well made essays about philosophy, super theatrical and flashy. Honestly cannot stress enough how fun the production value of these are.

Professor Flowers - Nuanced important discussions about race, media, and the political landscape.

Some More News - Like it says on the tin, news but told to you by a disheveled fed up leftist (I joke because i’m running out of things to say in the comment for each but really, Cody and his entire team deserve a lot of credit for their well researched videos on current events)

Thought Slime  - Agitprop but make it a little silly because tbh we all need some jokes rn

Honorable mentions of some slightly bigger channels you may already know but I enjoy: UpIsNotJump , Steve1989MREInfo , SmallishBeans , RTGame , Primitive Survival Tool  , Mumbo Jumbo ,  emmymadeinjapan ,  Kurtis Conner ,  Danny Gonzalez , Drew Gooden  , How To Cook That , JunsKitchen , Defunctland 

[franeridart]

Anon said: i dont know what blue lock is but that art you just posted is making me interested lol

AHHHHH please getting people interested in it is all my life is about lately hahahaha it’s a sports manga about soccer! Kind of!! Definitely has all the good sides of sports manga, but it’s also different enough from the usual sports manga that I know people who aren’t huge sports manga fan who loved every second of it, please do give it a try if you find yourself with the time for it! It’s such a cool manga!!!

Anon said: I don't even like BNHA anymore, haven't for more than a year, but your blog still has me shipping the characters somehow. I live for your KiriBaku content (and your KamiJirou stuff, when you post it!)

Gosh, I’m glad I can make you like them still!! It’s such a compliment, honestly ;A; <3

Anon said: so i was looking through your art and stuff and was wondering "hey i wonder if theyve ever drawn voltron stuff" and tbh, i didnt expect you to have

To be fair, if you checked it means that at least a little you thought it was possible lol I haven’t watched anything past s1 of it though, so the chances of me ever picking it up again are less than zero

Anon said: You... are one of the loves of my life... and also the main reason I check tumblr everyday lol.

Anon!!! You’re gonna make me blush here!!!!! ;;;; thank you so much!

Anon said: i started reading bluelock because of u and now im obsessed soooo,,,,, thanks!❤️😭

SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!!!!!

Anon said: Hii, do you have a Spotify account? If you do, can you share it? I really like the songs u use on your arts, and I would love to see your Playlists Sorry if it's already on your FAQ, I didn't find it And sorry for my bad English ps. I LOVE YOUR KIRIBAKU ARTS THANK YOU

I don’t! I listen to all my music from youtube, because I’m that kind of person lmao happy to hear we share music tastes, though! And thank you so much!!! <3

Anon said: What's your favorite arc of ToG both story wise and art wise?

SCREAMS I don’t know!!!! I’ve been thinking about this ask since getting it I have genuinely zero clue I love all arcs so much for so many different reasons!!!!! The first that comes to mind when I think about it is the workshop battle arc, because I love Viole with everything I have and the whole arc (plus the build up to it too!!) hurts in the most wonderful way, but then I keep thinking about it and I realize there’s so many character I live for that don’t appear in it - I love the floor of death arc SO MUCH cause for one, there’s nearly all my favorite characters in it, and also because it’s such a good, dynamic arc?? everything that happens is so much fun and interesting?? also Hockney is there, and Urek is there, and Garam is there, and the Hell Train gang is all there, so!! AH and the hell train as a whole is so damn good (the dallar show???? my whole soul rests in there, Khun’s trust in Bam!! the coin flip with rachel!! Bam’s whole everything!!!!!!!! GAH) but my fav part of it has to be the hidden floor?? because!!!!!! it’s perfect from start to end, everyone in it is wonderful, Bam’s growth in it!!! GODS! My favorite scene in the whole webtoon is in the hidden floor arc, it’s how much I love it - THEN THERE’S YAMA and the whole arc there is so so SO good too, and the latest arc!! how good is the latest arc!!!!!

so yeah I can’t pick - art wise I think it goes without saying that SIU’s art has only gotten better, so the closest to the newest update you go the more I like the art.... though, my favorite Bam is still the short haired one from the Hell Train arc haha

Anon said: Oh, wow, how stupid of me. Like 2 months ago, I sent you a message telling you how much I loved your work... and I didn’t see it on your page, or anywhere else. Finally today, I discovered I had an inbox where you answered me... 🤦‍♀️... I still love your work, by the way...

AHHH yeah I always answer off-anon asks privately! And thank you so much for still liking my things!!

Anon said: Have you read the last haikyuu chapter? How did you feel about it?

I’ve reread it at least twenty times and then I went and reread the whole of the last game again and it’s been three weeks and I’m still thinking about it more or less constantly and feeling giddy happy about everything that manga has ended up being, genuinely one of the best manga I’ve ever had the pleasure of following till the very end - that’s how I feel about it <3

Anon said: I really like looking at your art it’s so therapeutic it’s wonderful please keep drawing I want to support you on Kofi and patreon and yet I am broke please just know I love u very much ok bye

Ahhhh it’s okay anon! I try to keep as little completely unavailable for my followers as I can, and I’ll do my best to keep drawing! Can’t promise the fandoms will always be stuff you care about though haha

Anon said: This is my FAVORITE art blog. Is blog even a word that ppl use anymore?? Idk but anyways your kiribaku gives me life and cures my depression so ily and thank u

I’m so so happy to hear that! Thank you so much!!! TTATT <3

Anon said: just now realizing your oc looks like the human version of kamakiri

To be fair the only thing they have in common is the green mohawk, but I get where you’re coming from! I was very happy when Kamakiri’s official colors came out exactly cause he makes me think about my boy, after all xD my love for Kamakiri is definitely biased, in that sense haha

Anon said: Just wanted to let u know im very gay for ur oc giulia that is all thanks

Anon I’m gonna cry I’m so glad you like her!!!!!!!!!! She’s one of my oldest OCs out of that group, it’s always so thrilling to know people like her ;A; <3

Anon said: I really like how you draw kirishima’s hair

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! I have a lot of fun with it, though it does mean it ends up being kinda off canon more often than not haha

Anon said: hi! just a random question but how’d you come up with your name?

Fran is my name! Erid comes from Eridan from homestuck! Art is what I try to do! And that’s the incredibly interesting story behind my screen name haha

Anon said: Heya, so i sent the ask about the person who i suspect either heavily referenced or traced your art (i sent another ask about this tho im not sure if it went through) anyway, it was posted by ****************** you'll know it when you see it i think

Ahhhhhh sorry for how long this took me to answer, I went to check and it’s!!! fine, I mean, would have preferred if they had credited but I don’t think it was completely traced so I don’t mind too much, I used to copy art of people I liked too back when I was first starting, after all haha

[spade-riddles]

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

[iridescentides]

okay. hsmtmts episode 3 thoughts under the cut

YES i always start with gina, and what about it??? i would die for her. anyway im CRYING over how she thought her mom forgot about her like? youve been gone for like 2 months, literally what parent would stop caring that quick? she doesnt think she deserves love like literally most of the time and my heart is ACHING

i came into this episode knowing the chocolates would be a bait and switch bc the preview 100% wanted us to think it was ricky. and yet i still caught myself believing he did it for a second there. i was looking forward to some good rina content this episode and i cant believe i let myself get bamboozled. like the conversation was nice but completely one-sided, and he ignored her to call nini; i get that hes literally in a relationship but im not a huge fan of how he just stopped giving a shit about gina once it wasnt romantic anymore? like,, they couldnt even stay friends?

generally my thing about rina isnt that i think its some big spectacular ship, but moreso that i always go for ships that make my favorite character the happiest. so most of my rina shipping comes from seeing how ricky was the first person that gina was so happy and open with, and how she trusts him even though she trusts literally no one ever and she just self-discloses around him unprompted. the infatuation and crush part on gina’s side is the part i like. but ricky? annoying n flaky as shit

random offshoot but i wouldve loved to see the chocolates come from ej. it wouldnt have made sense just based on the episode we were given, but what if gina and ricky had had that conversation in the hallway and ej overheard them and wanted to do something nice for her since he didnt have a gf to buy stuff for this year? could you IMAGINE? i know im gonna be complaining about how theyre throwing ej away all season but like seriously @ writers we get it youre getting rid of ej in s3. no need to cut him almost completely out of the show in s2. please someone give my man some PLOT im dying

ashlyn telling gina “i wish i could give you a valentine” is simultaneously gay and reeking of straight people nonsense. you can give your friends gifts on valentines day??? i didnt receive a romantic valentines gift until i was 17 years old but i still got stuff from friends every year? umm

speaking of ashlyn i get the track that theyre trying to go on by making it seem groundbreaking that a disney princess role went to someone whos not a size 2 but like. shes still a white woman and im tired. plus theyre dancing around it anyway. if you wanna give her body image issues then just fucking commit. half assing that conversation helps no one.

redlyn was very cute this episode. im still annoyed that theyre getting so much time and focus this season but like. i am a big red stan. the song in the credits was cute too

speaking of, tell me why they literally crammed all the songs at the end of this episode??? i was honestly thinking they wouldnt have any songs this week, thats how long it took

kourtneys beauty and the beast was pretty. also i know theyre gonna make howie her love interest bc clearly if a boy and girl on tv interact for more than 2 seconds it has to turn romantic. im pre-annoyed. 

the ricky/nini plot didnt make a ton of sense bc... why didnt ricky just... hang out with her in the waiting room at the hospital? i am very confused as to why they had to make it so angsty and tropey like. youre literally in the same city and theres an easy solution here

im wondering if theyre gonna try to make miss jenn and mr mazzara a thing? im on the fence about how i feel about that tho. but i am annoyed that they didnt show miss jenns conversation with rickys dad at all

theyre making carlos so annoying this season, like idk whats going on or why they thought they needed to phone it in with his characterization this time around but like. what even was this seblos plot?

kourtney and seb conversations are always cute so i loved the piano scene

back to kourtney for a sec: why would big reds parents hire her as manager? why are they picking inexperienced teenagers for leadership roles? if nothing else, if howie has been around forever, why wouldnt they just promote him to manager??? instead of someone who has no idea how their pizza shop works like. i get that theyre trying to #girlboss kourtney this season, but was getting a job not enough growth and independence?

overall my biggest Gripe™ with this episode is that there wasnt enough gina or ej. and i get that its a big cast and not everyone can be the focus every time but literally when did redlyn become such a big priority to the writers? why are they getting so much screentime? i dont hate them or anything but like, i thought the main main characters were supposed to be nini, ricky, gina, and ej. so why is one of them getting like,, two lines per episode? im really out here picking up little ej crumbs like they wasted SO much potential with him as a character

[thirsthourdemon]

Yuu Nishinoya

I honestly feel like Yuu nishinoya doesnt get enough credit in the simping community. I understand everyone loves him as a comical relief and a great libero but I have rarely seen writers who do write about nishinoya. I get that most girls want their tall boys and that they want to be towered over but I am here to prove that Yuu Nishinoya is worth simping for.



Exhibit A: He’s a supportive friend

Yuu nishinoya is the type of person that will tell you that they will really punch you if you keep saying bad stuff about yourself. He will support you through everything you want to do as long as he knows you’re safe. Being a supportive friend also means he can be a very supportive S/O. We joke around simps a lot but let’s be real it feels really nice when someone in the crowd says you’re amazing even when everyone else isnt that interested and that is Nishinoya. He will be that boyfriend that does whatever he can for you not because he’s a simp well yes but not the point he will do it because he wants you to see him through his eyes. You see how he is with shimizu? That’s how he’ll be with you and more.



Exhibit B: He will never make fun of you for your insecurities

Out of all the people Nishinoya, korai and hinata knows how it feels to be underestimated because of how small they are. Nishinoya out of the three is the smallest one and even shoyo for a certain extent “Looked down on him”. Nishinoya will never make you feel like your appearance because what about your appearance? He saw you as the most beautiful person out there! There wasnt anything wrong with you and If you wanted to change then he’d allow you to change as long as it was your decision and not because you felt pressured. He would pick a fight with any one who insulted you because ARE THEY BLIND?! Their S/O was like a gift from the heavens! As a crow he would sure want to peck their eyes out! You were/are/will be beautiful in his eyes.



Exhibit C: Polishing skills (Supportiveness 2)

As we all know he loves showing you how amazing you are. He did it to Asahi and that man is like one of the most insecure characters I’ve seen in the show. He wont just cheer you on but he will help polish your skills. He might not look it but nishinoya is the type to learn but his way of learning is different. He doesnt get by with books however if you tell him that you’re learning how to paint or to do calligraphy? He will MOST DEFINITELY give you the time and space to do your thing. We saw that in season 1 nishinoya got bruises when he was training a certain style and I see him totally doing something like grind up ink sticks or help cover your room with newspaper so you wont get paint anywhere. He will help you polish your skill because he knows you will help him polish his by throwing a few balls or making him food. Speaking of making him food...



Exhibit D: FLEXING

He is just so...HAPPY! If you ever made this boy a boxed lunch, a lucky charm, a sign or wear his jersey to a game? He will appreciate you so much that he shouts it to the rooftops. If you gave him something like a lucky charm that he can wear? Let’s say a little bracelet or anklet? He will wear it and take care of it. He will even show you off to his friends or the whole school if he could! I dont know about you guys but I love being flexed because I like having my small ego stroked okay? Hahaha anyways nishinoya appreciates and it gives him so much strength that he gets pumped to the point it overflows sometimes. He will walk around holding your hand and even swinging it just to tell everyone that “LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL BEING! I AM WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL PERSON!”. Overall...

He be flexin you like how a kid would flex around the stars that they got that school day.









Why I love nishinoya:

I honestly love a lot of guys from haikyuu but I know that out of all of them...The most compatible with me werent the ones that I mostly simp for such as kenma or ushijima. I wouldnt be compatible with them and Im sure of it because I hate silence. I dont like it when people dont talk to me when they want something. I cant handle it because though for me I dont see any reason to I understand that some people have a really hard time at it. Nishinoya would be the most compatible because he will tell you what he wants and if he doesnt he actually will be so obvious that you dont need to hear from his lips anymore because he basically gave it away like him giving you his shirt “Just in case” he comes over even though you live like right next to him? He obviously wants you to wear it! Noya at the same time is the type of person who hypes everyone up and me being me I know I hype up everyone in my proximity. It will just be me and noya Hyping each other up because we both think the other deserves it! Being flexed. I cannot tell you enough how I melt when someone actually flexes me to their friends or their social media. Im sorry but It’s an insecurity of mine that Im not worth being shown off thats why my previous relationships never did. Oops- Anyways noya is noya. His supportive nature, his passion and his goofy personality basically screams I would go good with him HAHAHAHA

NO MORE SELF INDULGENTS 😤

[fuzzbuns]

Can we get your ramblings on comphet Nyaa-chan?

idk why I keep getting anons who wanna open up the Pandora's box that is my mind but like I would literally LOVE to talk about comphet nyaa so I will!!!!

(under a read more tho cuz this is gonna be long once again)

Before I start I just wanna say: I’m a lesbian and I'm gonna be talking about from my own personal perspective/ experience so obviously there is gonna be some bias and projection going on (Also I’m assuming everyone who is reading this knows what comphet means/is but if not comphet stands for compulsory heterosexuality). I don’t think Oso staff was literally making an episode to comment on comphet (I refuse to give Oso staff more credit than they deserve) so this is probably all accidental but I'm obsessed with reading the episode this way because I think it just fits so well and also totonyaa.

So let’s start with when Nyaa notices Oso. When we first see Nyaa interacting with Oso she honestly seems pretty guarded. She is glad that he saved her baby but she quickly pulls her kid away from him and gives him an awkward nod as if she is saying “ok thanks but now you can go”. However, the second her baby seems to show an interest in Oso (reaching out for him because his big brother charm is just so strong...) Nyaa’s reaction shifts. She keeps and eye on Oso while they are at the park and when he leaves she laughs to herself. 

This is the first aspect of comphet I want to dive into. From personal experience, I found that a lot of the “crushes” I developed on men usually stemmed from the thought “omg he is so funny lol”. To this day, the only fictional men I end up interested in are ones that make me laugh. Nyaa seems to be doing something really similar here. When she and Totoko are talking about Osomatsu she says:

In the beginning the only real opinion she can form about Osomatsu is that he is funny. When Totoko presses her for more Nyaa isn’t able to offer up much other than “you know”. She is interested in him because he is funny and she wants to get to know him more because he is funny. It’s really easy to mistake these feelings of thinking someone’s funny as endearment and attraction even when it isn’t that deep. You can tell it’s not that deep because Nyaa can’t explain to Totoko what about him is so great. And lets be real... its not like Osomatsu is a super hot guy and Nyaa is just being superficial...... she’s not infatuated with him because of looks.... Whatever it is that is attracting her to him has to be his personality but she doesn’t know much about him outside of him being good with kids and funny. She just runs into him now and then and is interested in knowing more.

Totoko goes on to tell Nyaa that he has issues to which Nyaa pretty much responses to with “epic. I like him,”. We end up seeing Nyaa do this a lot. Totoko and the others will point out undesirable things about Osomatsu to which, in response to, Nyaa will just re-affirm that she likes him. We will get into this more later when its more relevant but liking unattainable men is textbook comphet. Also the way she says “I like him” kinda sounds unsure. Like as much as she is trying to convince Totoko, she is also trying to talk herself into it. It’s ok if Osomatsu has issues because she has already decided that he was going to be the guy she likes. 

Totoko goes on warning Nyaa and we see on Nyaas face that she is getting annoyed. If you wanna go full totonyaa here then you could argue its because Nyaa is wondering why Totoko won’t just say “date me instead” but like.......... i would never argue that lol..... me??? no..... haha.........................................unle-

So Nyaa is getting annoyed and starts bickering with Totoko like they usually do and from here on I would argue Nyaa is purposely trying to piss Totoko off. She says she was “just sort of interested in him” and goes on to say you dont know what kind of person they will be unless you date them (not true at all queen). Totoko tells her that’s stupid and this REALLY upsets Nyaa. It almost feels like Nyaa was trying to make an excuse for why she should date Osomatsu even if she wasn’t totally into the idea. Comphet makes you think that maybe if you try hard enough, even if you don’t feel anything now, eventually you’ll have to feel something romantic for a guy. Totoko shooting this idea down is essentially ruining that excuse for Nyaa. So she angrily says: 

Which......... if I were... like a totonyaa....... enthusiast... I could say like.... This is Nyaa basically doing the classic “why do you care about who I date” thing...... that would be crazy tho haha.............................unles-

I also think Nyaa saying “choose” is interesting (tho I'm aware I'm going off translations and she might not actually be wording it like that) because with comphet you literally are choosing who you fall in love with. 

Totoko responds: 

And its clear that Nyaa is escalating her attraction to Osomatsu out of no where. In this scene alone we have gone from “he is funny” to “I like him” to “I was just sort of interested” to “love” even tho nothing has happened to change her feelings. She is escalating because Totoko keeps shooting her down and in order to reaffirm her feelings she has to make them more intense. She is also pissing off Totoko in the process. We see it again when she goes:

I’ve been joking about it but like... totonyaa goggles on... she is clearly doing this to annoy Totoko and get her attention. The way this line is delivered makes it so clear that she is not actually interested in getting Osomatsus number. She wants Totoko’s attention. The next frame is literally her smirking at her phone as Totoko starts panicking. Nyaa likes having Totoko’s attention and the best way to get it is to bicker with her. She is choosing a guy Totoko clearly does not like (I mean I think Totoko and Osomatsu are pals but like she knows he’s a P.O.S) and continues to egg her on about it to keep having Totoko telling her to not date him. Another key aspect of Comphet is trying to constantly get the attention of other girls. Plus, speaking from personal experience, talking about a “crush” you have on a boy with the girl you are actually interested in and having them tell you no feels nice and when I was little and the ceo of comphet I would do it constantly. 

So Totoko gets the brothers involved and Nyaa seems uncomfortable and less into the conversation (probably cuz its no longer just between her and Totoko but that's just me). Her tone is less confrontational and more just confused. It’s almost as if she feels the point of the conversation isn’t there anymore. None of these opinions matter to her. What she said to Choro was harsh but she had a point. She doesn’t know these people!! She wanted to talk with Totoko about this. However, she doesn’t seem to keep that same attitude with Osomatsu? Like what makes Osomatsu any different from Choro? 

She ends up asking everyone to leave and saying:

Once again she is using the word “chose”. She is stating she loves him despite not knowing anything about him besides his crimes against humanity (Which she agrees to that being vile so????). It really feels like she is just being stubborn. She said she likes him so stop confronting her about it because the more holes you poke in her story the more she has to try and convince herself that she genuinely likes him despite her knowing deep down that she doesn’t.

So fast forward to the night they all get together. That part about her liking a man that is unattainable is showcased here in full force. 

She loves the idea that he does not give a shit about her. The idea that he isn’t interested just makes her like him more. I can not overstate how textbook comphet this is. When the guy you picked to like turns out to not be interested in you; that is the best scenario a closeted lesbian could imagine. You get to keep “pinning” over a guy and playing the part of a straight girl without the pressure of acting on it. He isn’t interested so you are never put into a situation where you have to prove that you are. All the things he does that show that he isn’t even considering her (like not fixing his bed head and literally going after Totoko instead) are things she loves. The more disinterested he seems, the more perfect he is. This reaches its peak when Oso literally doesn’t even remember her and she says:

The idea of Osomatsu not even being bothered to remember the moment they met literally has her rolling on the ground lol. 

Osomatsu jokingly askes Nyaa if she is interested in him. She gets really quiet. Obviously this could be read as embarrassment and its probably what was intended. However, continuing with the comphet theme it could also be her realizing that she has to make a choice. She’s interacting with Osomatsu now and he’s (jokingly) flirting with her. She can’t keep acting like he is unattainable at this point so she prepares herself. He jokingly asks her out and she says yes without hesitation, confirming that she would like to date him and even adding a “please”. Because... this is what she wants right? She has been arguing for this the whole time and she was finally given the chance. Why should she say no? This is the beginning of the end.

We see Totoko and Oso having a drink (and she looks so pretty in this scene I fall to the ground and die). Totoko leaves and her body languages looks so emotionally exhausted. If I were a totonyaa enjoyer I would say “she told Osomatsu that she loves Nyaa but wants to see her happy”............... oso staff DIDN’T PUT ANY DIALOUGE IN SO ITS MY CITY NOW-

We see nyaa excited for her date and picking out clothes because!!! this is what she wanted!!!!! she fell in love and got a date! everything is going perfect!

Then she wakes up.

She is startled. Whatever she realized in her dream it was a lot to unpack. mayhaps... a dream about toto-

She sits up and you can tell from her body language that she is really reevaluating. Her feelings vanished over night. She can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. Even though everything is going right and she should be excited and happy, she isn’t. Something is wrong. It’s like the second it hit her that she actually has to go on the date and that Osomatsu is showing interest, she loses any interest in him that she had. She liked the idea of going on a date but the second it starts looming in and becoming a reality she can’t do it. 

When Nyaa apologizes and turns Osomatsu down you can tell she is embarrassed. 

She runs away, unable to face him, knowing that its her fault. See, if she woke up and was like “oh shit he IS a P.O.S” I don't think she would be so apologetic. But she is. She is apologizing for leading him on and knows that she can’t keep up the façade anymore. She knows she caused him a lot of trouble feels miserable.

So to sum it up: Nyaa was in love with the idea of having a guy to pine over. She liked that Osomatsu was an unattainable guy and that being interested in him annoyed Totoko and made her pay attention to her. But the second things got real and she actually had to go out with him, she couldn’t follow through. This can all be explained by comphet and I would even argue its like one of the only explanations for the ending that makes sense but I might just be bias. 

also I think Totoko and Nyaa should just make out...... Happy Valentines day!

[colourful-void]

Hoshiai no Sora Fan Movie Breakdown/Theory/I don’t know

Yeah I went mad so imma do theories now I guess. rip homework and fic.

spoilers for the fan movie, which is like 3 minutes and on youtube so just head over there, theres a link up here somewhere.

So first off, where’d the student council go?

Prez dances alone despite usually having some people watching and clapping behind her. They’re just gone!

Most of the first half is reused footage, so theres not much Ill break down, at least for now.

Once the outro is done, we cut to the final moments of Hoshiai Episode 12, as if we haven't had that scene burned into our brains.

Once that ends, we cut to this little card:

Which I think means two years later (according to this post which is honestly a way better post than mine, go read it.)

and then this card which according to google translate says ‘living that time’ I dont think thats right.

Let’s note we’ve returned to black on white background, and not the coloured on black of the title card at the end.

One of the best OST’s in the show plays (imo) and we get a little montage.

Rintarou and Taiyou go to the same school, good for them! They’re trying to get members for a soft tennis team (probably) but everyone around them is uninterested. They have more colour then anyone else in the shot, and are given more detail. part of that is because no one does background characters, but I think theres some symbolism there with them having their own little world of soft tennis, especially since Rintarou and Taiyou are known as the more energetic and friendly (or colourful!) members of the team. There’s also a baseball team walking in the background which I find interesting.

Tsubasa is angry and still playing tennis. If we follow his line of sight we find he’s glaring at (or at least guiding us to) the people in the back longing around and not playing. I can think of two reasons why he’s upset. One: because of everything that happened season one, he takes the game seriously and dislikes people slaking off. or two because it reminds him of his old team. I think one is more likely than two though. yet again anyone who isnt a main character isnt coloured in.

Shingou????? Is now at a strict school I guess?? The thing that stands out here isnt really him being at this school, (his parents could totally send him off) but he looks happy. Proud even. Not only is that contrary to the Shingou we know, but look around him. The background characters dont have eyes but they sure do have frowns. they’re also really gray, unlike Shingou.

iTSUKI GOT TALLER?? Lets note some things! The background characters have gone from being tinted a bit grey to entirely monochrome. The other characters have backpacks like Itsuki (idk the name but they hold tennis rackets) by beyond that, Itsuki doesn’t fit into the scene at all. Beyond just the colour, he’s not looking at the other boys, and it doesn't seem much like the other boys are looking at him. you could crop him out of the scene and the boys would look perfectly normal. The boys are also all wearing ties where Itsuki has a hoodie, giving him another way to stand out.

Now where everyone else had a still that zoomed in, we turn to my son, Nao.

He gets 5 shots, two of which are animated.

Note that when we see Nao’s hand all bandaged, the music takes a bit of a dip, making a static noise a bit like what we hear in some Nao scenes, or like a ghost.

So: Nao doesn’t play tennis anymore, clearly he either misses it or something, but in whatever case he thinks about it, and watches the others play. More than just play, he watches them celebrate.

Now look at the other boys who approach Nao. We get a bad vibe on instinct. I could be wrong, but it looks like the boy on the far right is the same boy who watched as another bully talked to Itsuki and then got bashed for it. Mainly just due to hair and him wearing a mask around his chin, which we haven't seen a single other character do. Actually, I dont think we’ve ever seen a Hoshiai character wear a mask, so it stands out.

Now, Nao’s knuckles are bandaged, which suggests he punched someone or something. I cannot picture him doing this. WE can see the bandages aren’t even, so he probably placed them himself, who whoever did it, did with little care.

Nao says: something. I can’t read lips or speak Japanese, but im not sure what Nao says is even readable. It has no audio, but the spooky noises continue. Music is now gone.

Cut to black.

Bird noises! Maki is watching their old sitting spot from afar, suggesting reminiscence.

Maki says something! I don’t know what, According to the other post, translated here on twitter, he says:

"Let's leave it be. He probably just doesn't want to see me again"

So that’s likely refering to Touma, or possibly his father but I doubt that highly.

Note: Everyone keeps their distance from Maki, Arashi still has his tennis bag, Mitsue has a very nice uniform and Yuu has a new bag I think, which is pink. Very cute. 

Yuu is the only one we don’t see in any uniform (itsuki didnt have the tie but he had a jacket) so we don't know what school they go to, of what uniform they wear. Yuu and Mitsue stand close together, so we ca assume that friendship lives on.

I won't do shots of all of Touma’s dialogue but here's some:

And of course the most important shot,

Now: Touma is saying in this scene, thanks again to twitter, translator’s tweet is here go leave a like,

"It's pointless. He has no game sense. Why does he make the same mistakes? There's no point in continuing like this. Whatever. I'll find someone else"

So like the beginning, Touma is fed up with fellow soft tennis players.

Maki and Touma meet on a street corner and Touma frowns. Maki remains neutral.

long shot as they stare at each other and a train goes by.

credits roll.

So time for my final thoughts and theories and things I want to mention.

Maki hurt Touma with the knife. I know, its bad I dont wanna think it, but like,,, Occam’s Razor.

Whatever happened with maki’s dad, he didn’t get kicked out of school, he didn’t die, and he doesn't gotten any life long injuries

No one’s parents are ANYWHERE IN THE ENTIRE PV. for a show so dedicated on these kids relationships with their parents, that is striking. We don’t even see family members.

No teachers are seen either.

Aside from the beginning we don’t see student prez at all.

Why does Nao get extra screen time? like do not get me wrong I love him but everyone else only got one shot.

Background characters are near always painted in greys wand without eyes, except for whoever Touma was yelling at and the others in that scene. they still don't have eyes though, which is probably just because they’re background characters.

Most characters are alone, except for Rintarou and Taiyou, and the gang during Maki’s line.

Things aren’t looking good.

SO those are my thoughts/theories, hope you liked them, I'm gonna go cry over my son becoming a delinquent, good night!

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!