#honestly gabe would do numbers here

[greaterpaladin]

so in me and @twiinkjuice 's writing there was a war between the celestial god and his siblings/children and then the infernal kings, cus they both staked claim on lands that were next to each other and the celestial god was not happy about this. in the end he won and the infernal kings went eh fuck this and went back to the infernal realm, but they left behind a lot of infernals who'd basically been mass produced. most of the ones that'd even survived weren't soldiers, just farmers and stonemasons and stuff. anyway the celestial god enslaved some of them and had them come back to his country.

this went on for a while but one of the heralds (that's his siblings/children) was not okay with this cus he was the herald of compassion, so he started helping a rebellion that had, obviously, started up. he stayed with them and helped til the celestial god- his name is iustinious- showed up and massacred everyone, and the herald of compassion- his name is cyprian- went completely nuts because seeing it was like, antithetical to being a manifestation of compassion, and swooped off to destroy one of the hubs where most of this had been going on, and by this point he was a giant mutated monster, like a lion-eagle-snake-thing with a human face that's screaming and crying and iustinious is like ??? wait what how and he can't bring himself to kill cyprian so he just chains him up in the now ruined city.

and he's like okay, fine, i'm done with this. he gathers up all of the rebels, infernals and celestials that'd helped them, and is like go live in this bit of land here. don't say i don't do anything for you. oh and also i revoke my powers and protection from you. so the freed infernals go with the now cursed celestials to live on this bit of land. and this land is like, not as hospitable as the rest of the country, that's why there's not really anyone living there. iustinious gets his people to build a big fucking wall around the land so they don't come back in. and the freed infernals and cursed celestials are like fine, we hate you anyway, we'll build our own society with blackjack and hookers. and they do, it's called terra nubi because the celestial country is called terra aurea. this is way back in history so the freed infernals and cursed celestials just kinda become one race, and the celestials are like ew, you're condemned, and the name sticks but the condemned aren't really bothered cus they find it kind of funny.

and that's why the condemned both have celestial features but edgy and dark, like black wings and black eyes, but also often have horns and tails like infernals. also their society is structured around a secret cabal of assassin's guilds who run the entire country from the shadows, but like, living there isn't so bad? as long as you don't get involved in guild business you can just live a comfy enough life.

this defo isn't all so i can draw that 2000s era ppl with black angel wings crying

[bbrissonn]

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 - 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐡

☆⋆｡°‧★ in which dahlia and will can't stop talking to each other

☆⋆｡°‧★ will smith x dahlia monroe

☆⋆｡°‧★ wc: 2k

☆⋆｡°‧★ au masterlist

when dahlia got back to her dorm room, she stared down at the new contact in her phone for probably ten minutes wondering if she should text the blond boy or not. she wanted to, she really did, but she just did not what to say. she choose to just wait for the boy to text first, after all he was the one with her number written on his hand.

dahlia went on with her night, doing her skincare routine as she listen to her music, trying her hardest not to constantly look at her phone to see if he had texted. 'his phone his dead' she kept reminding herself when the only message she got was from violette wishing her a good night.

it wasn't until she girl was about to go to sleep that the boy messaged her. it was just a simple hey :) yet the girl found herself kicking her feet slightly as his notification popped up. if violette were here right now, she would probably die of laughter at the smile plastered on her best friend's face.

dahlia

hi (:

will

thanks again for helping me

dahlia

no worries

honestly it was a little

embarrassing watching you

spin around in circles

i had to do something

will

wow

im wounded lia

dahlia

you get hit by grown men

and your ok

but a little teasing

and your hurt??

you're softer than i

thought smith

will

oh so yk my last name

wonder how that it

dahlia

oh-

good night.

will

good night :)

it was safe to say that the girl fell asleep with a wide grin as her mind played her encounter with the boy over and over again.

✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧

the next day, dahlia found herself sitting in the same exact spot for the third time now. violette was next to her again, but this time her boyfriend was with them. dahlia did not know him very well, but she knew he was treating her best friend perfectly and that's all the mattered to her.

"something weird is going." violette mumbled to her boyfriend, alex, as she watched her best friend share a small wave with the blond freshmen.

the two had spent pretty much the whole day texting one another, beginning with will texting her good morning. the two got to know each other, their favourite colours, favourite movies, music taste, favourite meal, all the question that could be asked were asked. granted, will looked up his question online, but the effort was all that mattered.

dahlia had never been so attached to her phone before, always having it open as she waited for the boy's next message. even on his way to the rink, he was still texting her, and same for her, making her almost bump into a boy twice her height. that was also something that violette quickly noticed.

as for will, his attachment to his own phone did not go unnoticed by his friends either. when gabe had woken up that morning, his best friend was already awake, smiling down at his phone, which he pretty much spent the whole day doing. it also was noticed by his teammates in the locker room.

will was normally always locked in the second he got into the rink, barely ever looking at his phone. but today, he could not go more than a feet away from it, feeling the need to always check if dahlia had answered him.

"you guys all saw what i saw right?" gabe asked his fellow freshman as they all stood in front of the bench. the warmup was ending in less than two minutes and will had decided to make his way back to the locker room. of course, as he made his way down the tunnel, a wide smile was stuck on his face as he passed dahlia.

"he's so whipped." ryan laughed as they all started making their way down the tunnel as well. they all could not help but look at will's mystery girl, who was typing away on her phone with a smile that mirrored will's.

unsurprisingly to any of them, when they arrived in the locker room, the blond freshman was also silling down at his phone. the boys all exchanged smirks before going to their stall and finishing their pregame rituals.

"jeez man, you know it won't run away from you." jamie chuckled as he sat down in his stall next to the freshman. everyone had noticed how dependent of his phone the boy had been, and they were all waiting for someone to bring it up for them to really dig into the poor blond boy.

"huh?" will asked, looking up from his phone and over to his teammate. by then, pretty much everyone in the locker was looking at him, making will a little self-conscious. "what?"

"your phone. nothing's gonna happen to you if you don't touch it for more than a minute." jack said from the other side of the boy. some of the guys around the room chuckled slightly, making will blush a little, he did not think they had realized how much he was using it.

"who're you texting anyways?"

"uhm, n-no one." will stuttered, mentally cursing to himself for how he was acting.

"you sure it's not mystery girl?" ryan teased from across the room with a smirk on his face. his words made the whole team erupt in ooh's, while will's face became a dark red shade.

"there's no mystery girl."

"sure there isn't, buddy. we all saw that little smile you gave her." drew added. will had never wanted to disappear as much as right now.

"hey, who's phone number is on you hand?" jamie said, grabbing a hold of the boy's hand. somehow, will's face became even darker than before as more laughs echoed in the room.

"no one's!"

"is this no one the same no one that you're texting."

"maybe." will admitted. he figured his friends were not going to let this go any time soon, or that they would end up finding out the truth anyways, so what was the point of lying. "but it's none of your business, so just drop it."

will's words came out harsher than he had intended. he was never one to react like this, and all the boys knew that, meaning they stopped bothering him about it.

none of them brought it up on the bench when he would sometimes look back at the girl and send her a soft grin. or when their eyes would connect for a long time whenever will made his way back to the bench. but, just because they did not bring it up to him, it did not mean they did not bring it between themselves.

gabe and ryan pretty much spent the whole gossiping like a bunch of teenage girls, giggling whenever they would noticed their interaction. they knew will heard everything they were saying and laughing about, but the boy did not care. they were leaving him alone about it and that's all that mattered.

unfortunately, the game did noy go their way, losing 3-4 to denver, but will had scored two goals, so dahlia did not really care about the score. just as her, and the other two were about to exit the forum, her phone dinged, making her stop in her tracks.

will

did you leave yet?

dahlia

no

why?

will

wanna see you

dahlia

uhm idk

wasn't on my schedule

will

its almost ten

what could you possibly

have to do thats more fun

than seeing me

dahlia

im a busy gal

you'd be surprised

where do i go?

will

come near the locker rooms

you'll see me

dahlia

this is my third time

being here you think

i know where that it

"you guys go one, i have to meet someone." dahlia said to her friend. a smirk grew on violette's face as the pieces clicked in her head.

"smith?"

"maybe."

"you coming home tonight?"

"yes." dahlia said sternly to alex, making the boy frown slightly before the couple said their goodbyes and made their way out of the forum. the next second, will was calling her.

"hi." the girl spoke, a shy smile on her face as she moved to the side so people could make their way out.

"hey. you really don't know where to go?" the boy chuckled making the girl scoff a bit.

"no, i don't." the girl sassed, making while chuckle a little more.

"meet me at your seat." he said, and before the girl could say anything, he hung up. it took a couple of seconds for her brain to understand what had just happened.

eventually she snapped back and started making her way back to her seat. there was pretty much no one left in the area, only one or two janitors that had started cleaning. as she approached her section, she could see a boy leaning against the wall right besides the entry to the stands. he was holding his phone in his hand, texting his friends not to wait for him.

"hey." he said with a wide grin, slipping his phone into his pocket when he noticed the girl. he pushed himself off the wall and took a couple of steps to meet her in the middle.

"hi." the girl giggled, her nervousness taking over. when the two teens were standing in front of each other, they stared at each with wide matching smiles. will was the first to move, wrapping his arms around her waist bringing her close to him.

the girl was a little shocked at his boldness, but she liked it. it took her a couple of seconds before relaxing into his arms and wrapping her own around his neck. her head was resting in the crock of the boy's neck, his cologne filling her nose.

"thank you for coming."

"you played great." the girl whispered back, making the boy scoff a bit. "you did, will. last time i checked you're the only one with two goals."

"we lost."

"so? it's one game, there's a like i don't how many more left. i had a lot of fun watching you." the girl said, trying to cheer him up. the two now had their foreheads resting against the other's, their words barely being loud enough for them to hear. will's eyes were closed as one of dahlia's hand came up to his face, cupping his cheek and rubbing the skin on his cheekbone.

"it's just... hard." the boy sighed.

"i get it, sorta, i think? when i try a new baking recipe and it turns out horrible, i get mad. especially when i do everything right, and it just doesn't work." the girl explained, making the boy open his eyes.

"you bake?"

"helps me calm down. the best part is getting to eat though." she said, a soft smile on her face as the two locked eyes.

"teach me one day?" will asked, and the girl was quick to shake her head yes. "good." he added before leaning in a pressing a small peck to her cheek. the girl blushed, her eyes avoiding his as she bit back a smile.

"food?" the girl asked, trying her hardest to change the subject, while still avoiding his gaze.

"you pick."

soon, the two young adults found themselves sitting in a pizza place not too far from campus. the two spent the night laughing and getting to know each other even more.

the night ended with will walking dahlia back to her dorm, his hand holding onto hers. once the two arrived at her dorm room near midnight, dahlia turned around to hug the boy goodbye.

"thank you for cheering me up."

"you're too pretty to be sad." the girl answered boldly, her head laying against his chest as they hugged. when the two pulled away, dahlia pressed a kiss right besides his lips, grinning afterwards.

"'night, will."

"good night, lia."

[wazzappp]

@rokhal okay so you see heres the problem. You asked too many good questions so I opened a google doc to answer them and then things just got going and then I ended up with an entire summary of the story I have so far.

ALSO thank you @moosemonstrous for helping me puzzle through my fugnking ramblings

Also it is IMPORTANT that you know I had this song on repeat the entire time I was plotting my nefarious schemes

OKAY SO. I’m thinking Robbie is some sort of specialized stealth unit. He was originally designed for high level infiltration but was repurposed by the human resistance in the future. He has skin with a metal endoskeleton just like the usual terminators but he ALSO has those nanobots that allow him to heal at the same pace as a normal human. They also would help with repairing any damage to internal systems like wiring. They could also be what repurposes food to grow his metal endoskeleton. I’m debating on whether he can manually speed that up for an accelerated healing process because that would require a level of control over his machinery that I’m not sure it would make sense for him to have right after figuring out he’s a machine. Maybe with some practice he could do it. OHHHHH OR IF HES IN SOME SORT OF ‘EMERGENCY DEFENSE’ MODE IT ACCELERATES AUTOMATICALLY THAT COULD BE FUN!!! 

Also I really like the idea of him being able to heal with those nanobots but like. SPECIFICALLY for Gabe. They’re programmed to create synthetic flesh and skin but only for certain genomes. His and Gabes are similar enough that they can help repair tissue if he’s injured. Like being a blood donor for matching blood types.

STORY WISE HERE’S WHAT IM THINKING: Eli still exists in this universe and he’s still a massive shithead. Still pushes Mama Reyes down a flight of stairs while pregnant with Gabe (their soon to be first child), still a serial killer and still involved with the mob. But shortly after Gabe is born, Eli is caught and sentenced to prison for life. The mob figures he told his brother’s family so that makes them a liability. They kill Alberto and Julianna, but leave Gabe alone in his crib. This happens when he’s about 6 months old.

While this is happening, Robbie is time traveled into the back yard of their house. He goes inside and puts on whatever clothes he can find. When police show up to check after getting a noise complaint from the neighbors, they find what looks to be a 5 year old boy soothing a crying baby and a massive burned hole in the backyard they think is just some sort of already detonated explosive. Everyone just assumes this kid is his brother and they try to get him out of the house without letting him see his dead ‘parents’. He doesn't talk much but does answer that his name is Robbie when asked. 

Things get REALLY weird when they go to the police station and find… absolutely nothing about him. No birth certificate, no social security number, no history of schooling, not even their notoriously nosy neighbors know anything about him. The Reyes’s had not marked down a dependent on their tax forms until Gabe.  Even when they look at the possibility of him being an undocumented immigrant; NOTHING. Half the guys think he’s an illegal alien that slipped through the cracks of.. EVERY country and the other half think he’s an ACTUAL alien For all intents and purposes the kid in front of them does not exist. Eli isn’t much help when asked, he just assumes ‘that bitch of his turned him against me didn’t even tell me that I had a nephew already here god DAMN her’. 

They quickly start questioning whether they're actually brothers, but genetic tests determine that they are. That, and the absolute INSISTENCE of the boy that ‘This is my brother. I HAVE to keep him safe’.

So they do what just about anyone might do. Decide this weird magically appearing child is someone else’s problem, and put them into foster care. From there the story stays about the same for a while. They know Eli exists but they honestly couldn't give less of a shit about him. That guy is never getting out on parole lmao. Robbie catches up with social development and for the most part fits in pretty good (he never gets sick. Like ever. Never gets so injured he has to go to the doctor for emergencies. Just regular checkups, which he passes through with a few raised eyebrows but still good). He’s still a GENIUS with cars and works at Canelos. He understands them in a way that usually takes years of experience way beyond what Robbie has. Things are going.. Not GREAT but they’re okay. And then AMADEUS FUCKIGN SHOWS UP.

Skynet of the future has sent back a Terminator to kill Gabe. No one is really sure WHY but they figure if skynet is going to such lengths to kill this kid then he must be worth protecting. So the human resistance sends back Amadeus to find Gabe and keep him safe from this Terminator. 

He steals some clothes, a gun and a car(not like hes really planning on settling down here anyway who cares about a few broken laws)  shows up at the Reyes residence, meets Gabe.. and basically all his plans blow up. This is absolutely NOT the type of person he was expecting and he sure as shit doesn't want to go anywhere with this random stranger. So naturally he kidnaps Gabe and starts getting the fuck out of the city (while also starting work on an electromagnetic field reader that he thinks can help detect terminators).

Robbie shows up back home after grocery shopping and uhhhhh Gabes NOT THERE theres BROKEN SHIT IN HIS HOUSE and the neighbors keep talking about a STOLEN CAR and some maniac who stole from a GUN SHOP. So he does the only reasonable thing he can think of, checks Life 360 hoping that Gabe still has his phone on him (he does) gets into his car and starts hunting them down. Between his crazy driving skills and freakish persistence, Amadeus can only conclude that Robbie is the terminator sent to kill Gabe.

When Robbie finally heads them off at an abandoned warehouse Amadeus tries to pull Gabe along with him and run away. But when Robbie steps out of his car, Gabe recognizes him and starts trying to get there. Amadeus is panicked, pointing his gun at Robbie to try and keep him away and, at this point, VERY confused. Because he’s pulled out his EMF reader and is getting some absolutely WACK readings off Robbie but hes also very much so being deterred by the gun (terminators couldnt gibe two shits about guns thlse metal fuckheads eat bullets for breakfast). The readings shortly get even more wack when the ACTUAL Terminator sent to kill Gabe shows up. Amadeus fires a couple of shots into the Terminator to confirm what he already knew (subsequently freaking both Robbie and Gabe out sufficiently enough to confirm that at least Amadeus isn’t entirely crazy). They pile into the Reyes-mobile and peel off shortly before the terminator gets into Amadeus’ abandoned stolen car and starts going after them.

Robbie is doing his best to ask what the FUCK is actually going on while getting away but Amadeus is still double checking his EMF readings because Robbie is DEFINETLY not human but also clearly isn’t here to kill Gabe. Quickly puts two and two together that for SOME reason SOMEhow Robbie is here to PROTECT Gabe from this other Terminator. Amadeus is. A little distracted because of this and keeps asking Robbie about his ‘Programming’ (sort of a “WOW your programming must be good you REALLY think he’s your brother and thats WHY you have to protect him!” “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHO WAS THAT GUY HOW DID HE KEEP WALKING AFTER YOU SHOT HIM” “It was a terminator keep up. Hey did you even TRY to call the police or did you just start coming after me because you knew it would be faster? Cause damnnnnn again. PROGRAMMING!”)

After finally losing the terminator that’s been on their tail, they find the police are not too happy about their reckless driving, arrest them and take them to the station to keep in a holding cell. While Robbie is in said holding cell with Amadeus (Gabe is presently being asked questions) there’s a police officer who recognizes him as that weird little kid who just appeared out of nowhere.

“Yeah we had absolutely NOTHING on you. It was like you hadn't existed until the day we found you!” So Robbie has to sit and listen to this while Amadeus is just confirming in his head what he already figured out. Being stuck in that cell trying to stay in denial with the guy whose favorite thing to say in the world is ‘I Told You So’ is not great. (un)Fortunately this is when the actual terminator shows up again.

This time, being faced with both the Terminator AND police trying to stop him from leaving, Robbies defense systems activate. He goes absolutely HAM on everyone in his way. He’s extremely default Terminator-like (Emotionless, distant, empty, quiet) in this state because all of his infiltration protocols have been halted. He even manages to fight off the other terminator decently well, but not before getting blasted in the arm with a shotgun shell. It goes deep enough that his metal endoskeleton is revealed. I also had this idea of like. His arm getting caught in something and he just stares at whoever trapped it there. Looks them dead in the eyes as he degloves his entire hand then beats the shit out of whoever got in his way with his metal fist. He stays in this state until they steal ANOTHER car, and he finally snaps out of it. And sees his hands covered in blood. And glimmers of his metal skeleton. And his brother looking at him in fear.

AND THATS WHAT IVE GOT RN I CAN'T WRITE LIKE YALL CAN I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR IT I HAVE TO GET ALL OF THIS OUT LIKE RIGHT NOW SO YEAH UHHHHHHH ENJOY

[quinnfebrey]

pls give me your review of Next to Normal London youre the only one i trust

do i want to talk too much about next to normal? yes, i do. 

some disclaimers: first, i am extremely specific about my opinions on next to normal, so if you're thinking "that's a dumb thing to say!" well sorry but remember ive been marinating in this show for over a decade. also, this is just going to be a review of the principle cast! i did see a cover run but i wont talk about them here (feel free to ask about them though if you like)

alright, without further ado here are my thoughts on each actor + the staging/general thoughts:

diana (caissie levy):

i thought she did a great job overall, but i didn’t love some of the vocal changes she made to the songs. she has a beautiful voice, but her version of i miss the mountains was a little too “i’m performing!” for me. missed the needed rawness of alice here

i did really like her change of softening “can” in “i love you as much as i can” though

her acting was phenomenal, the moment with gabe's baby clothes was heartbreaking. she also had AMAZING chemistry with natalie, and i think her version of so anyway is my favorite that i've ever seen

i’m interested to see how she develops further into diana because i think there’s room for more understanding in the more nuanced parts of her character. she improved a lot as the show went on which tells me she struggles with the humor and manic side to diana that is more prevalent in act 1

dan (jamie parker):

i think his singing voice is perfect for dan, but his speaking voice was so strange to me. i don’t know if it was him trying to act around the accent or his true interpretation of the character, but a lot of his dialogue didn’t work for me the way his songs did. like i would be absolutely in love with a number and then he'd speak and i'd be thrown out of it i don't know

his acting was great though, i really enjoy this goofier version of dan than the original version. he's more playful and i really like that it humanizes him more and also helps bridge the dan that fell in love with diana and the dan of today

he's also i think the first dan i've seen play the role with so much anxiety? like clinical anxiety, he's basically having a panic attack at the end of i'm alive reprise/during the break. i really really liked the nuance that it brings to dan

gabe (jack wolfe):

his voice is great for the role, and the way he looks too just fits with the character idk really good casting here

he was definitely less creepy than i felt the original version wanted him to be, i haven’t decided if i like that or not. i think it added more to gabe’s development as a character, but i think took a little away from the fact that gabe is not actually a real person

he seems like less of a comfort object for diana in this version as well, which again i don't mind but changed the dynamic. this gabe felt more attached to the whole family

REALLY good solo in light, heartbreaking sweetness in i dreamed a dance

natalie (eleanor worthington-cox):

i absolutely LOVED her. she was by far the standout for me in this cast. her acting was perfect, she clearly understands natalie incredibly well, and her voice is wonderful too. very good understanding of the purpose of the songs.

she made a couple dynamic changes during catch me im falling that i thought were strange, but i could also see that coming from her trying not to copy the original

i think her natalie is the most scared that i've seen it played, which worked well with this interpretation of dan. it all built up really well to her breakdown in hey#3

i also felt a stronger connection between dan and natalie in this version more than i have with any other, so light hit a lot harder

henry (jack ofrecio):

i feel bad about this one but honestly i really did not connect with his interpretation of henry. that’s the nicest way i can say it

he seems like such a sweet guy and his voice is absolutely gorgeous, but... that's kind of where my likes end

he didn’t seem to understand any of the jokes he was telling because he couldn’t make any of them land (and he’s a very comedic character so what happened bro 😭)

he was too “nice guy." henry is written in a way that can come off really insensitive and whiny and it takes the actor bringing it to life to get away from that. he just didn't seem to add another side to it

for example, when he says “then i’m sure they will be” during catch me i’m falling i wanted a little more… i don’t know, hesitation or disbelief in himself? and when he says “why do i get denied” i was just like my god bro she’s dealing with real shit, get over it. acb’s delivery of that line comes across way more as like. im hurting because i don’t know how to help you, please let me help you. this guy was just a whiny boyfriend.

again, great voice, but everything besides his singing either just felt very flat or was aggravatingly annoying to me.

madden/fine (trevor dion nicholas):

honestly i don’t usually have strong opinions on this guy. his voice was great, he did a solid rockstar.

his biggest part for me is at the end when he’s trying to convince diana to stay in treatment. it’s the first time you see his douche doctor mask fall and you realize he genuinely believes his way is correct and doesn’t understand why it isn’t working. i think he did it really well, i’ve never seen a madden/fine do it with so much anger but it actually worked for me 

staging:

honestly i applaud them for being brave enough to change this much. having a real set already helps me separate this revival from the original run

i think the lack of true set in the original adds to the tone of the show, though, so this production did feel very different and more concrete which made some of the weirder blocking not work as well (like during my psychopharmacologist and i). instead of feeling more abstract and conceptual it was like oh They're In A House

but i don't necessarily think it's a bad thing, i just think it makes it a slightly different show and a person's preference will probably just be which one they saw first. i'm sure people who see the london version for the first time will see the original and wonder where tf everything is lol

i also seriously missed dan wiping up during i’ve been (i know he still does it but the double bucket is SUCH an effective stage trick)

and i missed gabe's general parkour, again him really just owning the stage like that helps him feel like not a real person

my one criticism of the staging is that in my opinion it felt cluttered and busy at times

general pros:

the kids felt younger, particularly gabe (even tho the actor is older than aaron and kyle were?? he just looks like he’s 14 i guess), which i think changed the tone a little for the better. makes them more sympathetic

the band ROCKED. slight mixing differences but not unwelcome 

i loooooved this version of maybe. literally every second of it was perfect. 

general cons: 

i don’t know if british people are just irritating or something but the jokes were not hitting unless it slapped them in the face. they also seemed to miss a lot of references like the one to macgyver, one flew over the cuckoo’s nest, sound of music, but they laughed at the portland joke EVERY TIME? lmao idk

why the balloons lol cut that pls

i’m probably missing soooo much so pls send specific asks about anything in the show (with or without my opinion attached lol) and i’ll do my best!

[youcouldmakealife]

LBTE: Jared (118-121)

We head to Vancouver! And Joey makes the news.

If you want to follow along, the series page is here.

TW for a homophobic slur in here.

118. Niceties

Jared calls Bryce back, and manages not to cry on the phone. He packs with the help of an even quieter than usual Julius. He calls his mom, and promises he’ll talk to his dad tomorrow, because he can’t yet, he knows his dad being furious on his behalf is going to be just — too much.

They’re often so united on a hockey standpoint — remember Don’s gone to hundreds if not thousands of Jared’s games over the years, accompanied with almost as many debriefs — that talking to Don about stuff, especially stuff that they’re both angry or upset about, is often hearing his own thoughts from another person. And when he’s trying to suppress some of those thoughts so he doesn’t burst into tears, talking to Don is unhelpful.

He’s got a text from a 604 number when he gets off the phone. Hey, welcome to the Canucks! This is Gabe Markson. I’m probably your new centre. Sorry about the downgrade. Let me know if there’s anything you need. Whether that’s a ride from the airport or help finding a place, we got you.

Gabe!!!

It’s nice, especially since Jared’s used to being basically the only person he knows who uses proper capitalisation and punctuation in his texts, with the exception of Raf and Grace.

Love that Jared immediately approves of Gabe thanks to the magic of punctuation use.

hi new teammate! it says, followed by a slew of hockey related emojis and four blue whales. Jared guesses there aren’t any orcas.

Dmitry! Who forgot to identify himself.

“I can’t believe my mom gets to see you tomorrow and I don’t,” Bryce complains.

Which one is he more jealous of, I ask?

“We’re going to talk shit about you behind your back,” Jared says.

“Pft,” Bryce says, with the certainty of a man who knows his mother would never, even though his husband totally would.

Elaine is a Saint, and you can’t tell Bryce otherwise (or Jared, honestly)

He grabs a smoothie at Booster Juice, can just see Raf’s judgmental eyes, since it’s like, okay, only a smoothie in the loosest sense — chocolate almond milk and banana and frozen yogurt, a vaguely more socially acceptable milkshake for breakfast. Whatever. He deserves it.

The Funky Monkey is delicious. It also contains 67 grams of sugar. But jokes on Raf, the ostensibly more nutritious one he ordered after loser bought the winner a smoothie in their rookie years? Has 73. (and way more protein, but!)

Jared’s kind of figured out the standard of lying about his and Bryce’s marriage is that lying by omission: cool and also often necessary. Lying by lying? Not okay.

The current status of their compromise.

“I think you just jinxed me to get injured like, my first practice,” Jared says.

“Please don’t, our LTIR is literally just a list of all my former linemates right now,” Markson says.

Gabe is unfortunately not exaggerating. But on the bright side, their D is very healthy!

Raf says Oleg Kurmazov tells him not to take anything his brother says seriously, and between that and Markson’s surprise at how tame the text Jared got is, he’s getting a faintly terrifying picture of what to expect. If he got away from Jacobi just to play on a line with another Jacobi, he swears —

Jared is going to suffer and I will enjoy every minute of it.

That seems like the kind of thing the hockey gods would do. Not that Jared believes in them in a non-joking way, but the irony of Bryce and Jared swapping hometown teams feels exactly like something those non-existent hockey gods would do.

I am the hockey gods. It's a fun job, honestly. And also truly is hard to avoid a bit of sadism, I understand the not-real-but-also-don’t-wash-that-jersey IRL hockey gods.

Jared writes ‘Bryce Marcus’, and, in case there was any doubt it’s just a weird name doppelganger, Bryce’s date of birth probably cancels that out.

It’s not like the Canucks can trade him until the season’s over anyway.

Way less scary to write it in a form than tell your GM in a face to face meeting, but still pretty big.

“The leftovers are the best part,” Elaine says serenely when Jared questions her judgment on portion size. “Just pick whatever you like.”

What Jared apparently would like, is everything. Elaine may have made a good call, because he’s famished.

Her mom sense extends to you now too, Jared. And she’s right about leftovers.

“How jealous are you right now?” Jared says.

“I want to be there too,” Bryce complains.

“We had Chinese,” Jared says. “I’m sleeping over.”

“Stop rubbing it in,” Bryce says.

He's so pouty right now.

19. Acclimation

Jared’s nervous, walking into practice. It feels like the first day of school, but more — maybe the first day of school after you transfer. To a school of your enemies.

Evil Orca High.

Jared doesn’t ask what she needs to be downtown for, because he suspects the answer is ‘so I can drive you home’ but she’d make an excuse, so.

I mean, yes, but also: she's going shopping. Bryce didn't get that from nowhere.

but Elaine’s like Bryce — doing nice shit genuinely seems to make them happy.

Jared does not understand.

“We do not do this last names bullshit here,” Kurmazov says sternly, before tossing him a roll. “Dmitry. I don’t care if you pronounce it wrong, everyone does.”

Unlike his poor brother, stuck being referred to solely as Kurmazov by his own adopted hockey child for literal years.

“Please tell me you’re not like doing a Riley-Lapointe, married to a rival thing though,” Foster says.

“Um?” Jared says.

“Okay!” Foster says. “Okay. I. That’s fine!”

Poor Brian has not learned a key GM duty: keeping his inside thoughts on the inside.

“Good,” Foster says. “Maybe have a chat with Gabe? If there’s anything you’re concerned about, or — he’s good people, he’ll listen.”

Brian leaning so hard on 'please talk to our queer player about this' without actually saying it.

“Have I told you how happy we are to have you on the roster?” Brian says, and Jared has the sudden urge to hug him, but he’s pretty damn positive hugging your GM is not appropriate.

As far as GMs go, he is pretty huggable, despite the fact he could still likely snap Jared in two.

“I redecorated your room a little today,” Elaine says. “Bryce told me which mattress you guys like and they delivered it right away, it was terrific, and I’ve put Bryce’s spare clothes in storage, so there’s space in the closet and the dresser for your things, and in the bathroom too — I got a shower caddy, and the medicine cabinet’s —”

Count is at 3 magic beds now. Also she's nervous, bless her: she really wants Jared to feel welcome.

She’s taken the Canucks stuff out too, which he appreciates, because it was funny when he was visiting with Bryce, giving him shit about it, but feels faintly weird now that’s playing for them.

Can you imagine how much shit he would get. Can you.

“It’s like ten years old,” Bryce says. Jared wonders if Bryce and Elaine rehearsed the ‘override Jared’s protests’ together. “Need to play at your best, you know?”

Well, Bryce had to prepare her for Jared's tendency to turn down gifts.

The Canucks aren’t the Oilers, and if Jared wants to stay in the roster, avoid getting sent halfway across the continent to Utica, there’s no slacking off here.

The Canucks' AHL team is now in Abbotsford, which is a mere 70 km from Vancouver, but for literal years it was in upstate New York and boy were emergency recalls of players a fucking mess. Only arrangement I can think of that was less convenient was Montreal's farm team briefly being in Newfoundland, less because of distance (though there was plenty) and more because of weather and lack of alternate forms of transportation if Canadian winter was being Canadian winter (inevitably, it was).

Anyway, Jared has nothing to worry about: those cursed former linemates are all pretty far off from rejoining the roster.

“Okay, we’re both equally awesome,” Jared says.

“You’re more awesome,” Bryce says huffily.

Even their arguments are gross.

120. Machiavellianism

Jared has now seen a lot of Joey Munroe. Like — all of him.

Joey is not having a good day, everybody.

“You and Bryce don’t send each other nudes, do you?” his mom asks instead of saying ‘hello’.

“What!” Jared says. “Mom!”

“It’s a valid concern!” his mom says. “Just tell me you don’t and I’ll drop it!”

The cold fear that went through her body when she saw that article.

“How was your day?” his mom asks.

“Well, no one leaked nudes of me, so better than his,” Jared says.

“You said there were no nudes!” she says.

“I meant it hypothetically mom, oh my god,” Jared says.

They're both actively shrieking at one another at this point.

Greg’s sent him an email with no subject, the body reading ‘Would this be something to worry about? Greg’ because everyone in his life is collectively trying to murder him with embarrassment.

Greg also had the cold fear moment.

Jared’s too mature to respond with ‘No, oh my god’. Well, he clearly isn’t, because that’s exactly what he said to his mother, but he responds to Greg with a simple ‘No, nothing to worry about’, then, after a moment of thought, cc’s Summers in the email so hopefully Bryce doesn’t have to deal with the mortification too.

This is why Jared's Dave's favourite.

Maybe Jared’s too dumb to be Machiavellian. It’s distinctly possible.

I like that Jared has this thought and then later just goes straight back to schemes, some of which work out…poorly

“You see the thing with the Scout?” Jared asks before their game against the Golden Seals, voice carefully pitched low so Dmitry won’t overhear.

“Yeah,” Gabe says. “That was super fucked up.”

“That he’s gay, or—”

I know Jared's fishing. You know Jared's fishing. Gabe just hears a dude saying 'yeah it's fucked up he's gay' when he's already in a clenched stomach bad mood about this.

He feels even more off when he notices Gabe talking to Munroe at centre ice, both of them looking serious. Maybe they know one another, but Gabe wasn’t talking about him like he knew him personally when Jared brought it up. Gabe skates away, skates back when another Scout calls his name, and Jared watches warily. It doesn’t look like a fight, or like Gabe was giving him shit? But then, there’s no way to tell.

Gabe's a good boy. Reminder that the other Scout was Scratch communing with Gabe, as he is obligated to do with every other Torontonian, while Joey silently sighed at him. Already married.

“What’d you tell Munroe?” Jared asks.

“That I was really sorry that happened to him,” Gabe says. “And that I don’t know what he’ll deal with from other teams, but that none of the Canucks are going to be assholes about it.”

“You can’t exactly guarantee that,” Jared says.

“I know our room,” Gabe says, then frowns at him. “I don’t need to tell you not to be an asshole about it, right?”

All members of Canuck leadership would lose their shit if someone was an asshole about it. Well, that's not true. Gabe would do 'I'm really disappointed in your behaviour', and that would hurt the most.

Oh great, Jared’s just — really hitting his accidentally appearing homophobic stride with Gabe lately.

He could not do better if he tried.

The loss isn’t his fault — the Scouts terrifyingly talented first line is responsible for every single goal

Stupid sexy Willy. Stupid shitty Shithead.

“But would you be cool about it?” Jared asks. “I’m pretty sure he’s going to be cool, he’s the YCP rep—”

“Casterley’s the YCP rep for the Flames,” Bryce says. “And he calls the refs faggots every time we get a goal disallowed.”

Hey remember when Andrew Shaw got suspended for calling the ref that exact thing and became the Canadiens' YCP representative after? Because I do.

Also: you may recall Casterley as the dude low-key cheating on his wife in Luke's narrative. He sucks.

“I get it,” Bryce says. “Good luck?”

Jared’s faintly concerned at this rate he’s going to somehow come off as homophobic when he’s coming out, so he probably needs it.

I mean, if anyone could…

“Elaine and I hate it,” Jared says. “No more fights.”

“You can’t just team up with my mom against me,” Bryce mutters.

“We’re an awesome team, though,” Jared says. “The best team.”

Way to shut Bryce down. Man can't argue that.

121. Confession

“I can—” Jared interrupts, because if he doesn’t get it out soon he knows he’s going to balk. “I’m um. I’m married.”

“Okay,” Gabe says, frowning the exact same way Foster did, like he’s confused by the nonsequitor. Which is understandable.

Generally the wedding ring speaks for itself.

“Dude,” Gabe says. “I’m not kidding. You met Stephen. Like, for a minute, but you met him.”

“Your roommate?” Jared asks.

“He’s my boyfriend,” Gabe says, and the living arrangements suddenly make way more sense.

To be fair if there was anywhere someone making NHL money would require a roommate, Vancouver’s near the top of the list.

“Dmitry, all of the vets know for sure,” Gabe says. “Pretty much everyone who’s been here since before this season. I think the entire roster has figured out he’s my boyfriend. We’re not shouting it from the rooftops or anything, because the media—” he makes a face Jared wholly agrees with, “— but we’re not hiding it from the team.”

Stephen routinely hosting wine parties for the WAGs is a pretty big tell, there.

“I don’t think they’d be adopting my husband any time soon,” Jared says before he can stop himself.

“Stephen’s like the grumpiest person alive sometimes, if they adopted him I’m sure your husband will be part of the crew in a day,” Gabe says.

Yeah, he'll do okay.

“I told him you guys have the same sense of humour and view of the world and stuff,” Gabe says.

Jared is no less confused, and now he’s kind of curious what Gabe thinks Jared’s sense of humour and view of the world is.

“Like —” Jared says finally. “Snide? And — cynical? Or—”

“Yeah, he’s going to love you,” Gabe says with a laugh.

A minion of his very own?! Gabe, you shouldn't have!

Schmid’s in the shower when Jared gets back, and who knows when he got in it, how long that’ll last, but he’s a bathroom hog, takes forever with his whole grooming thing — Jared has no clue what takes so long, dude always looks unkempt, but maybe that’s a purposeful look? — so Jared’s probably safe.

Poor Schmid doing nothing but minding his own business in the proximity of the most judgmental man alive.

And that’s on top of Jared getting to play for Bryce’s childhood team, to live in his childhood home with Bryce’s mom. Jared’s pretty much living the life Bryce would have wanted growing up. Except not even, because Jared’s probably living the life Bryce would never have dreamt he could have possibly have when he was growing up. And there wasn’t a hint of resentment in Bryce’s voice when he told Jared he was happy for him.

“I love you, you know that?” Jared asks.

“I know,” Bryce says, which Jared needs to hear more than ‘I love you too’ right now, though Bryce says it immediately after, because he’s Bryce.

Bryce <3

“Chaz could come, it could be like,” Bryce says. “Chill. Like, we could grab drinks or dinner or something somewhere. Maybe not like — I don’t know if I’d be ready for him to like, know who we are to each other, not when I don’t actually know him, but like — meeting him’s the first step, you know?”

Chaz will not find this chill. Chaz will find this the opposite of chill, in fact.

“Because I’m snide and cynical,” Jared says. It maybe comes out a little snidely, because seriously, how is Bryce still confused.

“No you aren’t,” Bryce says.

“Bryce,” Jared says.

“But like in a good way!” Bryce protests. “I like it from you!”

<333333 Bryce

Though it’s faintly worrying that Gabe picked up on those things within weeks of meeting him, especially because Jared has been on his best behaviour the whole time. Apparently Jared’s best behaviour’s still noticeably snide.

Such a lack of self-knowledge. And actual good behaviour. Jared is admirably true to himself, though!

[trillscienceofficer]

A long time ago @nebulouscoffee asked me to write the DVD commentary of “Best Left” (which is a Raffi/Seven/B'Elanna fic set between Picard S1 and 2) and now I'm finally doing that.

This is inevitably going to get long because the fic itself is much longer than anything else I've ever posted, and I still have so many feelings for a story I put a lot of effort and heart into! But first things first, here's chapter one.

Cris, I know you’re really busy these days on the Stargazer, so I’ll keep this short.

As I was coming up with ideas for “Best Left”, my main goal was to have Raffi (which I knew would be the POV character) in a very different place than where we see her first on Star Trek: Picard. I wanted her, by this point established, long-distance relationship with Seven be a part of the network in which Raffi is now deeply enmeshed (ie La Sirena's crew). That said though, both canon events (by this time Rios has been made captain) and my plot ideas were not very accommodating of having literally everyone on board the ship. It would've been too unwieldy for a project that was already shaping up to be very ambitious for my standards. But while Jurati and Picard's absence is, I think, not that big of a deal, I still very much wanted to underline Raffi and Cris' friendship, which I think is essential in order to understand Raffi and one of the few relationships she's had that didn't go sour on her. I obviated to his physical absence with both real and imaginary correspondence, from which Raffi could draw strength in difficult moments. The fic both begins and closes with Raffi writing a message to him.

Raffi hits send on the message and looks up only to find Elnor at her side, looking just as morose as he’d been a few days earlier, when she’d told him first about the road trip idea. She sighs internally; the queue to transporter hub number four advances. It’s a busy day on the new Betazed spacedock, but luckily no one among the crowd seems the wiser to a Romulan young adult carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He holds the straps of his bag and his staff with a white-knuckle grip. Raffi hooks her left arm into the crook of Elnor’s right. “What’s the matter?”

Rereading this I remembered how fun it was to write Raffi and Elnor interact. My intention here (and throughout the fic) was to have Raffi obviously care for him while also not losing her somewhat world-weary attitude because of her affection. Raffi is still a woman who analyzes everything around her, and acts accordingly—not to mention all the unacknowledged guilt she carries wrt her son Gabe. I didn't want to have Raffi be straightforwardly ‘maternal’, it didn't feel right and I think older women in fiction should be allowed to have mixed feelings about this role more often. Plus, like Raffi herself realizes later in the fic, Elnor has already had plenty of other women bossing him around all his life, he doesn't need one more.

Soji is at the navigation console, smiling and waving a little awkwardly. And finally, Seven watching them from the captain’s chair, which she occupies with ease, leaning on one armrest. The very image of the roguish pirate captain; Cris wishes he could pull it off this well. “Welcome aboard,” Seven says, the hint of a smirk on her lips, as if she’d just heard every single one of Raffi’s thoughts.

I honestly think Raffi is constantly roasting Cris in her head. Also when rereading I was surprised about this reprise of the idea of mind-reading from the previous dialogue between Raffi and Elnor, that was cool and I can't remember if I even wrote it entirely on purpose. In any case, I wanted to have both Soji and Elnor along for this story because (1) they could offer an interesting outsider perspective on the older women drama about to unfold and (2) I wanted to have them interact with each other and have an adventure that had nothing to do with their specific backstories. Writing Soji in this story was so much fun! It was a nice challenge to balance her characterization between the right amounts of deadpan honesty and genuine care, and making it obvious that she's still figuring out how she wants to live her life.

“I don’t think Cris would forgive me if I tried to take La Sirena into another Borg transwarp conduit,” Soji says. “And honestly I’m not sure the ship can take it.” “It wasn’t particularly pleasant on a Borg cube either,” Seven adds. “As I’m sure Elnor remembers.” “Crashing on the surface was worse,” he replies, and some of the gloom lifts from his face. The effect Seven has on people sometimes—but Raffi should be the last to judge, shouldn’t she? It’s not as if seeing Seven again, sitting on that chair so lazily and yet still projecting intent, isn’t reminding Raffi of the few weeks they’d spent on board La Sirena before. But it’s probably best if she revisits that particular recap reel in private.

I based this little Seven-Elnor interaction from my own feelings about my Cool Aunt, which I think are fitting lmao (ie especially as kid, if she was speaking to me I would immediately feel better no matter what)

Also while rereading I was like, damn I made this first half of the chapter so horny... but I've been in a ldr myself and this is pretty true to my own experience. Reuniting always means a mixture of attraction and awkwardness, and it's what I wanted to convey about Raffi and Seven here, especially since they both have a hard time trusting in people or believing that they're capable of being around people without fucking it up. The following misunderstanding about room assignments is part of this pattern.

She’s re-learning restraint, in the hardest way possible, in other facets of her life.

So here comes the part of this fic I agonized over the most... Raffi's history of substance abuse and her current commitment to sobriety. I thought the latter is what fit better with Raffi's actions on the second half of S1 (ie locking herself out of the replicator) and some scenes of S2—imho those are clues that she (wants to) simply quit. Now, a commitment to complete sobriety (including weed snakeleaf, like in a 12-step program) is not necessarily an effective way to treat addiction long term—actually quite the opposite, from what I could learn from the research I did, even if still the most popular recommended form of treatment today. I'm not entirely sure it would be at all recommended in the 24th century. So how to reconcile this with the hints about Raffi quitting cold-turkey? Is it even something I would want to depict in a good light? What I eventually tried to do is treat the matter strictly from a character perspective. I hinted that Raffi is seeing a counselor, and now feeling part of a network of people, and is now restored to her place in society via Starfleet (from her perspective). Sobriety is something she thinks she should do and can do now, so that's what Raffi did; it's all part of her wider commitment to live a different life. If this also has a whiff of self-punishment... I don't think you'd be entirely wrong. I tried to hint that Raffi has her own thoughts on her addiction but I don't necessarily share them myself (see the disclaimer on top of chapter 4), and those thoughts might be another way in which she's denying herself (because no one else grants it to her either) the compassion I think she deserves. It's a really complex topic and I don't know if I did it justice here. I welcome feedback if you have any.

She’d thought she’d lost any interest in making out, over the years—she was surprised to find out how much Seven enjoys it, and how much of that enjoyment is infectious.

I have this headcanon that Seven really enjoys making out (it's appeared in other fic of mine too, eg “Doing the Unstuck”) and her partners never expect this of her. I think I like the idea that Seven's approach to sex and intimacy is still about the sudden thrill of closeness she displayed when she twirled Chakotay around in order to kiss him lol. I especially like the idea it's one of the things about Seven that's not changed despite all that happened to her since said kiss, and that she could bring Raffi to enjoy making out again as well.

It’s still the same suitcase-shaped contraption that she cobbled together months earlier with Borg parts from the Artifact, as far as Raffi can tell. Some other parts Seven had replicated on La Sirena, and then had proceeded to build the device with surprising ease. She’d explained that it was a modular design she and other friends had come up with over the years. It hadn’t been the first time she’d found herself needing a regenerator without having one handy. Raffi had admired her resourcefulness then, and still does now.

I ranted a lot about Seven's regeneration last summer, and all my thoughts and headcanons ended up in this fic. Regeneration for Seven is now a bit different than what it used to be on Voyager; still a necessity but quicker, and something that doesn't tie her down to bulky machinery any longer. Something that ultimately Seven has more control over. However, it's also a necessity that now needs to be articulated explicitly to the people she's close to, and that other people have to learn to take into account about her. I also wanted Seven to determine clear boundaries around regeneration—eg, here she doesn't want other people around when she regenerates—but boundaries that she is still constantly renegotiating, as it happens in chapter two when she invites Raffi to stay. Seven isn't used to be around people much anymore, so she's still adapting to new realities (like her relationship with Raffi) and rethinking what is comfortable for her.

“I hope your other stops were less frustrating than Trill,” Raffi offers, making her presence known. Soji looks up at her, and her face breaks into a smile. “Oh hey, I didn’t realize you were here, Raffi. But yes, I can honestly say it was the worst one so far. I think, and Agnes agrees, that their academic institutions really opposed the lifting of the synth ban for some reason.”

This little piece of Trill worldbuilding came to be because in “Second Self” Una McCormack wrote that Raffi has taken part in the zhian'tara of a colleague. Which is absolutely bonkers to me!! I couldn't help myself and expand on it a bit, all the while maintaining my stance on Trill being very conservative when it comes to decide on people's personhood. I know it's maybe controversial but I really don't think Trill institutions are that enlightened on the topic. They might think they are, but in presence of someone like Soji the appearance would crumble immediately. I honestly loved revisiting my Trill feelings through Raffi and Soji, I haven't written Dax fic in a very long time, so this was a nice way for me to scratch that itch.

Raffi crosses her legs, raises an eyebrow. She’s reminded all too well of when Soji had first come aboard, the confusion of a young woman whose entire life as she knew it had been a deception. She can recall how Soji described her relationship with Narek, and how Raffi had been the one to name his behavior for what it was. Maybe some pointing out of the obvious is needed here too.

This is one of the things that caught my attention the most when I rewatched S1—Raffi has been looking out for Soji practically from the start, calling out Narek's presence for what it was (abusive). I wanted to let Raffi speak her mind here as well, about the kind of interactions Soji has had while on tour.

A scratchy, stuttering audio signal starts playing from La Sirena’s bridge speakers. ‘—damage. Propulsion systems offline. Atmospheric controls—’ More digital artifacting of the signal. ‘—predict where the subspace eddies will take the ship. I don’t know how long I still have—’ The audio signal cuts off, then the message repeats once again. ‘—damage. Propulsion systems offline. Atmospheric controls—’ “I think that’s all of it,” Soji says, soberly. “Damn,” Raffi says, at a loss. “She’s dying, if not already dead,” Elnor says, voicing what everyone is thinking. He turns to Raffi. “What do we do?”

When she read this chapter, my partner asked me about the use of pronouns for the yet unknown person in distress—here Elnor assumes it's a she, while Raffi and Soji don't. It was actually on purpose, I wanted to hint at the fact that Elnor's default assumption is that the people that do stuff out there in space are women because the Qowat Milat usually speaks in these terms as well. Maybe it's silly, I don't know, but I wrote it in anyway as a subtle wordlbuilding detail. Maybe too subtle if it leads to pronoun confusion.

“I’m not sure I could live with myself if we didn’t try to save the crew of that ship. There’s a chance they might still be alive.” “Then let’s do it,” Raffi says with a curt nod. “You’re in command of La Sirena now.”

In the rescue scene I tried very hard to let Raffi do tactical evaluation in a way that didn't come off as callous as it sometimes does for Worf on TNG or Tuvok on Voyager—she's honestly trying to give Soji, now in command, a good overview of the situation.

Raffi takes a long look at Elnor, and to his credit he looks genuinely curious, hands folded together, leaning with his elbows on his knees. She knows better than to doubt his intentions, but—when he wants, he knows exactly when and how to ask one of his blunt questions for maximum effect, doesn’t he? In this case, distraction. She idly wonders if this is a skill that everyone in the Qowat Milat picks up, along with the assassin training. Using the truth as a finely honed blade, rather than the cudgel it’s always reminded her of.

That the absolute candor tenet of the Qowat Milat may be used in more than one way and for more than one goal is something I already written about before (ie in “Policy of Truth”). I think Raffi has her own different ideas about telling the truth because she's trained in intelligence gathering and also because pursuing the truth has always been painful for her—see her quest to find out who was behind the Mars attack. So here she's surprised to find out that Elnor's honesty is not at all a weakness, which she's assumed so far, but rather a very well-honed skill.

“It is the ship we’re looking for,” Soji confirms, going through the readings with, once again, an ease that belies her actual experiences. “It is still transmitting the distress call, though it’s extremely garbled. The hull is pressurized, somehow, at least partially. Life signs—one, I think. Humanoid. Very faint” She looks at Raffi, eyes wide, and Raffi braces herself. “We have to beam them over. The subspace tug might breach the hull at any time. I know that we have no idea who we’ll find, but they’re dying.” Goddammit. They really should’ve woken Seven up before getting here. Then again, at this point it’s probably best to ask for forgiveness than permission. If they’re all still alive to do so. But they will; a boy assassin, an android with super strength, and Raffi. Risk assessment used to be her job in Starfleet, long ago.

I still really like Raffi thinking 'oh well, too late to go back now, but at least I have backup'. I thought about her characterization a lot while writing this fic, and tried to convey her dry humor at best I can. She's really funny in canon! I really enjoyed writing her constant quips, even if they're just in her head.

Down the stairs, she hears Emil grumble. “I can’t deliver proper emergency care if you rush me.” “You’ll replicate what you need, as you need it,” Soji retorts impatiently. “Just initiate the transport.”

All EMHs are the same.

She’s older now, and out of uniform, looking much worse for wear after what she just went through. But there’d been a time more than twenty years prior when her face had been on every Federation newsfeed, along with the rest of the crew of the USS Voyager. “You know her?” Raffi turns to Soji, frozen in bemusement beside Emil. “I’ve never met her but yes, I know who she is,” Raffi says. “You two stay here and keep an eye on things. Seven needs to see this.”

I really like the way this chapter ends (so much so that it's the quote I chose for the fic summary on AO3). I thought about the idea of generational difference a lot when coming up with this fic, and how Raffi has witnessed so many momentous events, like the return of Voyager, that Elnor and even Soji really have no context for. It's an interesting aspect of having older characters that weren't around in previous shows, and an opportunity for a different perspective that unfortunately I think Star Trek: Picard squandered completely (Una McCormack was more attentive in her novels, luckily). Regardless, Raffi's experience turns out to be an asset more than once in this fic—no one aboard La Sirena at this point is as intimately aware of the events of the Dominion War as she is.

[diangelofan]

Happy birthday Percy!!!

Percy was woken up as usual by the low noises of people driving their cars to their boring office jobs; just another busy day in New York City, “where nobody ever stops working!” That what it said in the postcard (and it really did seemed like that during the busy mornings!) Percy had gotten from his biological father (the only time he had any type of contact) at 3. Now at the much wiser age of 6, he questioned why the man would have chosen such a boring postcard instead of the usual birthday card (his ma’s candy store sold much more beautiful cards and it wasn’t even a card shop!). Maybe he wanted to make sure Percy knew that he knew where he lived? Still a bizarre choice for the only thing resembling a birthday gift that the boy had ever received from him. but whatever…

After returning from his musings into the real world, and becoming aware of his surroundings again, Percy realized that there was in fact another, and much nicer at that, sound apart from the buzzing streets. His mother’s voice. More specifically, his mother’s voice singing (more like humming) along to the radio. It was a Monday morning and his ma wasn’t at her usual morning shift at the store! Percy immediately jumped out of bed and into the kitchen, curiosity burning in his chest. He found his mother in her usual weekend pose, eyes focus on the stove and hips moving to the rhythm of the music. Her mother could have been the next Shakira, Percy thought, she had the voice, the moves and the looks!

Her mother must have heard his loud steps in the hallway as she immediately turn around, open her arms wide in greeting, ready for the boy, who quickly jumped to envelop her in a hug: “Good morning! Is my little boy excited for today?”, his mother asked.

“Today? What’s going on today?” Percy had never felt more confused in his short life.

“Oooh… Don’t tell me someone forgot what today is?”, his ma said while trying to hide a smile.

“Forgot what? What is today?” Scratch what he said before. Percy had never felt more confused now than ever before in his life.

Today was Monday, that Percy knew as he had classes in the evening. But the day exactly? Well… they were learning the days of the year already in preschool, but, honestly? Percy was still getting the hang of it. The teacher wanted them to read the calendar a few times and just have it all up in their heads?! Honestly, the gall of that woman! (or at least that was the phrase his mother said when she didn’t agree with her boss). Those were too words and numbers, with so few pictures! It was practically impossible!

“Someone got so excited yesterday, it was a tough feat to put him to sleep, and now he’s forgotten his own birthday”, his ma finally let her smile stand up and proud.

OMG right! His birthday! How could Percy forget his own birthday! With the busyness of the morning and the surprise of his mother being here, he had forgot to think about the reason behind her being here. Wait! If his mother was up cooking breakfast for his birthday that meant he was getting…!

“Someone order a serving of blue blueberry pancakes with maple syrup, sadly not blue but what can we do, and a blue candle on top? With a side of blue jellybeans? Sarah, my coworker was nice enough to give them to me on Friday, knowing I wouldn’t be going this morning. Hmmm… It was a miracle you didn’t find them during the weekend! Bueno, a cantar cumpleaños feliz y luego a comer se ha dicho!!”, his ma handed him a plate filled to the brink with pancakes (four to be exact; such an enormous amount!) an a lightened candle.

They sang happy birthday and ate a delicious plate of blue pancakes each. It was a wonderful birthday. Percy hoped all the rest to come would be as wonderful.

(As an older child, Percy would come and think about to these memories with pity and anger, as his birthdays had never been the same after Smelly Gabe appeared. His mother had tried, but there was no more work-free mornings and blueberry pancakes, but instead quiet birthday celebrations with some candy if Gabe was away at one of his buddies’ houses, gambling away his ma’s hard earned money. Later on, as a teen, Percy would look back with a sad smile, thinking of how happy and easy those innocent childhood days had been. Now, finally, as a tired young adult, Percy is happy to be back with his mother, and the additions of Paul and Estelle, every birthday morning to celebrate with wonderful blueberry pancakes and then hanging out with his friends in the evening. What more could someone ask for? Nothing. Nothing At All.)

[nctables]

[  BENJAMIN BRATT,  61,  CIS MAN,  HE/HIM  ]  and  now  walking  on  the  red  carpet  is  GABRIEL  VILCA,  we’re  honored  to  be  in  the  presents  of  a  world  class  LATE NIGHT HOST.  they  say  that  they’re  the  embodiment  of  CATS IN THE CRADLE  by  HARRY CHAPIN,  we  can’t  argue  with  that  one  !  rumor  has  it  that  they’re  ERRATIC  and  LOYAL.  we  often  hear  fans  online  compare  them  to  MESSY HOTEL ROOMS, THE RUSH OF BEING IN FRONT OF A CROWD, AND TRYING TO STAY RELEVANT .  we  heard  that  there’s  this  one  thing  they  don’t  wish  anybody  to  know;  HE HAD A CHILD WITH HIS HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART WHEN HE WAS A TEEN AND ABANDONED THEM,  let’s  hope  it’s  not  true  ! 

BASICS

FULL NAME: gabriel vilca.

FACECLAIM: benjamin bratt.

GENDER: cis man.

PRONOUNS: he/him.

AGE + BIRTHDAY: 61, february 27.

OCCUPATION: late night host.

POSITIVE TRAITS: dynamic, practical, loyal.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: impatient, erratic, disorganized.

BULLET POINTS

pregnancy tw, abandonment tw

Growing up in New York, Gabe was one of those kids that had always dreamed of becoming a comedian. His parents basically told him to keep dreaming, unsure if he'd actually get that far. And maybe it was unrealistic but Gabriel didn't care.

He started out doing open mic stand - ups when he was around eighteen. Honestly, he wasn't that good at it. His jokes were just okay. At that point, he had a baby to help raise, and he began to really question if this was right for him.

It was definitely a slow career start, and he began to work odd jobs to be able to pay the bills. If he wanted to continue his dream, he'd have to work for it. And so he did. Maybe it was the real life experiences that made him relatable, but it was around this time that he started getting invited to perform and joint open mic nights and bars. It kind of grew from there. However, with him being a little more in demand, it began to take a toll on being with his family. Especially when he was called to LA to do some one off guest appearances. He had to decide if he wanted to take his career in the direction he had always wanted, or if he wanted to raise and be with his family. He chose the former.

Comedy Central really helped him take off, however. And after his career began to take off, Gabe finally felt like he could take a sigh of relief. Gabe moved back to NY during his five year long stint on SNL, however he failed to reach out to his ex and his child during this time. He figured it would hurt the two of them much more to continuously walk in and out of their lives. After his time on SNL, he did a few movies, before getting the call about taking over for the Late Late show. He didn't hesitate on the matter, immediately accepting it. It was kind of what he had always hoped for, keeping his comedian chops up and interviewing celebrities and people of importance.

During this time, he took the show abroad, specifically to London on a few occasions. And that's when he really fell in love with the city. After five years on the Late Late show, after his initial contract was up, Gabe and the network couldn't reach an agreement about his salary. And that's when someone else took over.

He reached out to Channel 4 after this, looking to see if they'd develop a late night talk show here. And after a lot of negotiation and looking at if the numbers were worth it on their side, they agreed. Ten years later, and that's still where he is. The show is one of the first of it's kind in the UK, as most of the late night shows are really only in the US. But he's proven that it can be profitable overseas as well.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

exes

old friends

friends that he fell out of contact with

the mother of his child

anything!! everything!!

[mystic-sunni]

Hello Poptropica community I have arrived to post something that I was meant to post a while back but forgot until now...sorry about that hehe. Anyways today we have Poptropica's top ten moments that don't get talked about as much as they should. There's going to be spoilers about the islands and characters also a few honorable mentions that just didn't hit the top ten mark. With all that said and done let us begin with number 10.

10. Skeletons

So as our character explores several islands and many strange places we often stumble upon a spooky site. What's the spooky site you maybe asking well I'm talking about skeletons. We have seen them on several islands for example 24 Carrot Island and also we fight off skeletons in Red Baroness side quest before Rumpelstiltskin got her. Anyways this does indicate a bit of a surprising site to some people and I'm surprised nobody talked about it much on here.

9. Player's parents

So some of us og Poptropica players remember when we would create our character we would spawn from a box right? Well apparently we do in fact have parents or at least a mom because on Night Watch Island when we find chocolate soap we not only learn our player has a potty mouth but also we have a mom. Pretty surprising that isn't mentioned barely at all.

8. Mya missing her family (MOTM Books)

I honestly haven't read any of the books because I didn't have the money to get them but someone on here actually showed how Mya during the story was starting to break down because all she wanted was to go home to her parents. Sorry I can't talk much about this since I don't know a lot about it.

7. The space dog (Lunar Colony Island)

If you played Lunar Colony Island you might've found a few pictures that had some astronauts and a dog with them. But not a lot is mentioned about the dog. Did it leave space or did something happen?

6. "Are you looking for something?" (Ghost Story Island)

The first time Poptropica had some voice acting if we ignore Pop English heh...Anyways I am personally surprised by how nobody said much about the interaction before.

5. Octavian (MOTM)

For those like me who just played the island for the book series most of us might have believed that Octavian was just a evil adult but if you had read the books it turns out there's a lot more lore to him than we knew from the island.

4. Famous last words from Joe Puddy (Zomberry Island)

So apparently Joe Puddy was in a Poptropica comic and his last words before becoming a Zomberry were "I said I would." Most likely meaning that he was going to at least attempt to keep his promise to his wife to eat the fruit most likely but I'm not to sure.

3. What happens to "Honest" Gabe?

Most of us who have played or seen Monster Carnival Island playthrough have some sort of idea of who I'm talking about. By the time our player gets to the island Gabe is nowhere to be found. Where is he and what has actually happened to him?

2. Missing Kids Posters (24 Carrot Island)

So the missing kids that Dr.Hare has been kidnapped for around 6 months for some of them before we arrived to the island. Also the state of the island was quite concerning when we arrived.

Now before we hit number 1 let's me make a few honorable mentions!

1. Merlin's sacrifice (Astroknights Island)

2. Our player getting framed several times for crimes we didn't commit.

3. Almost becoming a trophy (Survival Island)

Now that the honorable mentions are said let's get to number 1!

1. Nearly drowning (Cryptids Island)

For most of us og poptropica players we might remember this scene where we were riding the waves with our kite board thing and then we see Gretchen on her boat. She immediately sets our kite device on fire and leaves us to nearly drown if Harold Mews didn't save us with his helicopter. So the reason this is number 1 in my opinion is because I see people talk about Gretchen but nobody really talks about how she nearly kills us.

Anyways that's my top 10 Poptropica moments that aren't talked about that much as they should be. Thanks for reading and huge thank you to those who sent in suggestions!

[atozphantomsquadron]

Chapter 7: Swordplay

February 9th

Gabe sucks as a trainer.  I’ve decided this already.

When we got back from New Mexico, he said it would not take long to train me to control the Guardsman’s power.  “A week at most,” he said.  Here I stand, three weeks later, and I’m no closer to controlling it.  I actually think I’m further away than when I started.

Honestly, Fahaian has been a much better trainer, getting me used to working with fire.  He doesn’t want to rush things, which I think is what Gabe is trying to do to me.  Gabe wants me fighting ready; Fahaian wants me fighting ready and safe at the same time.  I think I like Fahaian’s approach much better, at least he’s taking my feelings into account.

Michi, on the other hand, has been trying to keep her distance from Fahaian.  There’s already been a bit of a dustup, when Aunt Kitty found out who Fahaian’s dad is.  They’ve both kind of declared war on him, just for the personal slights that Kitty felt she took while they were captured.  I don’t get it, honestly, and neither does he.  I can tell it hurts him a little bit, too.

Today is a day I’ve been dreading.  Gabe has told me I’m going to be drawing the Sword today.  It’s the first time since the cave.  Since the Invader.  My left wing still throbs when I think of the injury I took, even though Michi was able to heal it the next day.  I unfurl it slightly and inspect it in the mirror: not even a hint of a scar.  She does good work.

The Sword hangs off of my hip, ready for action.  Am I ready for its kind of action?

There’s a knock on the door.  Before I can even ask who it is, it opens up and Gabe’s standing there.

“Oh, it’s you.  Great.”

He smirks at my remark.  “I don’t mean to intrude, Alanna, but it’s time.  We’re waiting for you outside.”

I sigh.  “Okay.”

He clears his throat.  “You know, you haven’t given me anything more than a three-word sentence since we got back.  What’s eating you?”

I glare at him.

“Okay, don’t answer that.  Why are you so angry with me?”

I glare at him more intensely.  My mouth is smoldering, but there’s no flames.  Fahaian’s been good about training me in that department … only firecast when I really need to, that was his first lesson.  Still, when I’m angry it’s easy to lose control.

“I know you’re frustrated, Alanna.”

I growl and puff smoke out of my nose.  “Whatever.  I need to stretch my wings.”  I storm out of the room, slightly pushing Gabe aside as I do. 

I’m only vaguely aware that others are trying to talk to me.  Since Uncle Cyrus opened up the Avalon door, he’s been able to ferry a number of supernaturals through to the other side, to get them away from the blueshirts.  The very first, it turned out, was Jerry Tile.  Others soon followed.  The hallway is filled with supernaturals, but I don’t notice them, I just keep walking blinded by rage.

I hit the front door, unfurl my wings, and flap hard to lift off.  Soon I find an updraft and I’m soaring high above the Wyoming landscape.  It’s flat, desolate, and very cold right now, as we are in the middle of winter.  The Rocky Mountains rise on the far horizon, snowcapped and threatening, with darker clouds circling their summits.  I know it’s unrealistic to think I can get there in less than a day on my own power, but it’s very tempting to try, just to get away from all of these people.

=Alanna, where did you go?  We’re waiting for you.=

Is that Fahaian’s voice in my head?  “What are you doing?”

=There’s a torch here.  You need to come back.  It’s important that you’re here, from what Gabe tells me it is vital.=

“I know, I just needed some air, to clear my head.  Does it have to be right now?”

=From what Gabe says, yes.  You know we need you to come back.  Everyone needs you.=

All I can think of now is Michi, pale after overusing the gauntlet, nearly passing out.  He’s right, they do need me.

“Okay then, I’m coming back.”  I arch my back, putting myself into a wide curl to turn around, and start flapping my way back to the Ranch.  It only took about five minutes for me to fly out that far, but it takes me about twenty to come back.  It’s all out of dread.

I alight and land in the back yard, where Gabe and Fahaian are waiting.  There’s another person there who I don’t recognize, a dark-skinned woman in jeans and a t-shirt.  She must be awful cold …

“Okay, I’m here.  You win.  Let’s get this over with.”

Gabe nods.  “Okay Alanna, let me introduce you to your new trainer.  I realize you’ve been getting very frustrated, so I figured maybe you would do better with a woman’s touch.”  He motions toward the woman.  “Allow me to introduce you to Durga, who’s going to take over your Guardsman training.”

She holds out her hand to shake mine.  “Pleased to finally meet this generation’s Guardsman.”  Her smile is infectious: I can’t help but return it.  I’m struck by the intricate henna patterns on Durga’s wrist, wrapping in triplicate and quadruplicate around each finger, clasped in my hand.  Her handshake is much stronger than I was expecting.

“Are you a friend of Aunt Kitty?”

Durga chuckles.  “You could say that.  She helped me for a long time, and to reward her I freed her from her service to me.”

Service?  This strikes me as an odd word.  When I finish thinking how weird it is to be in service to anyone, I notice that Durga’s arms are splitting and duplicating.  She’s another supernatural, obviously, so maybe this session won’t be so bad.

“Okay, Alanna, Durga, pleasantries aside.  We need to train Alanna to control the Guardsman in a fight.  Here’s what we’re going to do …” He points at Durga.  “Head to that end, about fifty paces.  Alanna,” he motions toward me, “go fifty paces the other direction.”

Durga turns and walks without hesitation.  I’m not quite as ready to follow his instructions … but if it’ll help me, and Durga’s going along with it, then I may as well too.  I walk the fifty paces and turn around.  Gabe cups his hands around his mouth to call to both of us.

Geez, he can make his voice awful loud …

“All right, ladies.  Alanna, Durga is going to attack you.  You need to draw the Sword and parry her attacks.  Only block them.  Do not allow the Guardswoman to launch an attack.  If you move from that spot, the exercise will be a failure.  Understood?”

He’s expecting a wave.  I give him one, kind of half-heartedly.

“Fair enough.  Durga, if you please.”

I watch the other end as Durga’s arms split yet again, then one more time.  Every single arm she grows possesses a different weapon.  Most of them are distance weapons, but there’s a couple that I know she would have to rush me in order to use, like a sword and a little club that looks kind of like a flower.  The others, though … there’s a throwing disc, a knife, a bow and arrows … and the most worrisome weapon she’s holding is a military pistol.

As I’m evaluating her battle-readiness, she raises the bow.  There’s an arrow nocked.  She pulls the bowstring back.

Now or never.  I draw the Sword; the armor closes around me.  I set my stance.

My mind is in overtime, struggling to keep the knight’s tendencies in check.  Don’t attack.  Don’t attack.  You aren’t supposed to attack.  You aren’t supposed to move …

Durga looses the arrow.  It streaks quickly toward me.

Block it!

The Guardswoman answers my request.  The Sword quickly thrusts upward and knocks the arrow aside.  It flutters harmlessly behind me.

“Good!  Again!”

Durga nocks another arrow and fires.  Again, I give my command, and the Sword flies up to meet the arrow.  This time it splits the arrow lengthwise.  It flies past, completely split.

“All right, we’ve got the idea.”  Gabe has that annoying smirk on his face, I can see it from here.  “Okay Durga, open it up!”

Durga lowers the arm firing the bow and lifts the one with the gun.  Crap, she’s going to randomize which weapons she flings at me!  Now I’m not sure if this is such a good idea …

She fires the gun, followed quickly by the throwing disc.  Both the bullet and the disc soar through the thin air, bearing down on my chest and throat.

Block them both!  Please God, block them both!

I’m desperate and fearful.  I feel one of my feet threatening to move, but I summon my willpower to stop it.  The Sword catches the bullet and deflects it, then on the reverse stroke hits the disc.  Durga has spotted this, and is now emptying the clip in the gun.  The Sword is a blur as I block every bullet, making them clatter from side to side, useless spent lead.

I think that’s finally gotten Durga into this exercise.  She’s starting to rush me, shooting more arrows and also flinging her knife at me.  I turn so that I continue to face her, keeping the Sword out in front of me, and manage to block every shot, although I can tell I’m starting to slow down.  Durga draws her sword and rushes.

Don’t fight her, just block her!

My feet are glued to the ground.  I’m not letting them move at all.  I catch the sword with my Sword, knocking Durga backward.  She picks herself up off the ground and attacks again, this time wielding the club. 

Only it’s not a club.  It’s a multi-bladed dagger that just happens to look like a flower.

Dodge it!

The Guardswoman obeys, and Durga stumbles past, her thrust finding nothing but air.

Am I controlling the power?  Have you decided to obey me?

I should never let my concentration down.  As soon as I do, the Guardswoman moves from where she’s been standing, and I’m once again just a passenger as she attacks the prone Durga.  The Sword is lifted high over my head, ready to come down on the woman.

She blocks the Sword by catching it with all ten hands.  She uses my momentum against me, flipping the Guardswoman over her head, using the Sword as a fulcrum.  I land hard on my back, which forces me to let go of the Sword. 

The wind’s been knocked out of me.  I pound my fists on the ground, which only makes my abused spine hurt more.  I scream, more out of frustration than out of pain.  I can’t control the power.  Not yet.

There’s a hand in front of my face, open and welcoming.  Durga’s.  I accept her offering and let her help me back on my feet.  My back is killing me.  I’m still trying to catch my breath.  She places an arm around my shoulders.

“You did well, for the first time trying that exercise.  Have you trained before?”

I nod, still trying to catch my breath.  My head’s starting to scream.  I can barely talk in reply.  “My dad … he taught me … the basics.”

Durga looks over to where Gabe and Fahaian are approaching us.  “Gabriel, why didn’t you tell me she’s this far advanced?  I was expecting a complete novice.”

Gabe shrugged.  “She seemed like one.”

I glare at Gabe, but Fahaian steps in before I can get in any words.  “I think that went well, my friends.  Come, we should go inside.  Cyrus tells me that more supernaturals have arrived, looking for the doorway.”

We all nod.  Durga holds me back as Fahaian and Gabe go into the house.  Questioning, I look up at her.  “Did you mean it?  I’m advanced?”

She smiles.  “Alanna, my friend, you are probably more advanced than any Guardsman I’ve met for the first time in the past.  And there have been many.”

I sigh and shake my head.  “There has to have been some who were better the first time.”

“Not many, actually.  One of the few was your father.  He took to it very quickly, surprisingly so.”

“Yeah, he told me about the first draw ...”

“More than just that, Alanna.  His first time acting as the Guardsman in a real situation, he was exceptional.  Sure, he had some problems, as any neophyte Guardsman is bound to have, but in the end he accomplished his mission, defeated evil, and served life.  That is the whole purpose of the Guardsman, to serve life.”

She has a point there.  I haven’t been able to think of the Guardsman’s purpose, only that I’m having trouble harnessing the power.  Maybe if I re-evaluate my thinking, the control will come …

“Will you continue to train me?”

Durga laughs.  “Certainly.  Gabe asked me to stay for a while and help you, as he will be needed elsewhere for a while.”

Gabe’s leaving?  Even though he made me angry, I still don’t want him to go away.  Something about him is comforting, almost like having my parents with me again.  “When will he be back?”

“We’re not entirely sure.  But he asked me to keep an eye on you, and on Michika.”

I think I’ll like having Durga as a watcher more than Gabe, but I’ll still miss him.  I’m still weak, though, and Durga helps me get back to the house.

[just-about-nothing]

i’m not really interacting with it but i am living for the heychris drama that is going down tonight it’s so great

from what i understand, chris gutierrez (heychris), pete wentz’s ex best friend and professional shit stirrer, has been stirring shit up on twitter in various ways:

-posting censored and uncensored pictures of his ass tattoo (that matches pete wentz’s reverse tramp stamp that they got to delineate who would top and bottom. this is arguably one of pete’s most famous tattoos, although not for that reason). heychris has also been notably cagey about if that’s actually why he has the bartskull on his ass but like. he literally posted about it on lj in 2004 so. i don’t know if he was getting the ass tattoo retouched or no, i’m honestly a little confused here.

-being like ‘lol remember that time in like 2006 pete & mikey way cuddled with each other in jeffree starr’s “shitty la apartment” and posted pictures of that. this did a number of things: 1) remind everyone that heychris lowkey highkey ships petekey and like. always has. 2) remind everyone of what a leech j* was but also remind everyone that j* was actually a relatively active part of the scene (there’s a picture goin around of gabe saporta and j* joking around. belgh). 3) probably irritates pete wentz

-posts a picture of himself with gerard way whilst gerard was in the nurse costume. they’re like hanging out at some restaurant somewhere. this is in response to someone asking him if he can get gerard back on twitter. i am like 90% sure he was also backstage at a my chem concert a few weeks ago

-being like ‘I AM IN THE BEST POSITION TO GET US THAT FOB8′ or whatever. this one i am soooo doubtful about given where pete & heychris left things but like. have it your way dude. (he also said they’re the michael jordan of pop punk like.... three hours ago so that’s nice. i really really do not know if anyone in fob is on speaking terms with heychris to be perfectly honest)

-he also said mikey way and pete wentz were “directly responsible for some of the best moments in my life”. which is very darling i will admit. he does seem to really really adore mikeyway which is. interesting. (at one point someone sent him a picture of mikey and he was like ‘look at how handsome my boy is!’ has also said his favorite bassist is michael)

i certainly left out context but if we were gonna wait til the whole heychris story is typed out, he’ll have started more shit & then i’ll have to start over

[kitty-of-mischief]

House of the Rising Sun

(Chibs x OC. My first Chibs fic and...I tried me best with the Scottish slang so advance apologies for the efforts. Let me know what y’all think and I’ll get more of it posted here. Still WIP but I have two chapters completed.)

~There is a house in Charming town, They call the Rising Sun And it's been the ruin of many a poor girl Cuz God I know I'm one.~

"Shit. Fuck. No no no." The girl behind the wheel cried as if it would help to stop the inevitable. The vehicle sputtered and jumped trying to make the most of the last drop of gasoline in her vehicle until it rolled to the open patch of desert road nearby just off Interstate 5.

"You've got to be kidding me." The voice from the passenger seat. "Didn't we just put like 30 bucks in this "eco-friendly" machine?!"

"Uggggh I knew I should have gotten the SUV instead." And finally the last sputter confirmed the two's fears. Stranded on the stretch of highway and it wasn't busy for this early in the morning.

"Well, Gabe lets at least hope for cell service." The driver picked up her phone and sighed in relief as she saw four bars of service. "One tiny miracle of hope."

"Well the closest tow service for us is the Teller-Morrow garage. A few miles up in the little town of Charming. Huh, I wonder if it still lives up to its name." She chuckled. "Do the honors of calling the boys to our rescue, Kat?"

"On it." Kat dialed the number on her phone and stepped outside the car just so she could look for a landmark nearby.

The phone rang through the garage but inside the office, it was finally answered by boss lady herself, Gemma Teller.

"Teller-Morrow, how can I help ya?" She replied almost empathetic yet flatly.

"Hi, I'm trying to get in touch with a tow truck. My car ran out of gas off Interstate 5 near a few miles up from the Charming town exit." Kat sounded exasperated at the other end of the line.

"Oh sweetheart, how long you been out there? You sound distressed." She replied.

"Not long luckily but it's already scorching out here on me and my sister."

"Alright, I'll send the boys with a truck. One second." Gemma reassured "Boys, we got a pair of girls stranded on the highway!" Gemma stuck her head out the door, "They need some gas to get to town or just take the truck and pull them here."

"On it, boss lady. Danny boy! Let's go, gottae pair of lovelies stranded and it's not gentlemen of us ta leave em there!" The older man said while climbing into the drivers seat of the tow truck near the entrance of the garage.

"Here. In case they need something cold." Gemma handed off two bottles of water from her mini fridge of the office. Dan grabbed them as he was jogging through the garage and rushed into the seat as the other man started it up and headed out in a hurry.

~

Mirages played tricks on their minds but honestly the black leather interior of her Kia made it hotter than it was outside. Thankful for them having their belongings with them, Kat felt no shame as she grabbed a pair of denim shorts and red spaghetti strap tank top from her clothes stuffed in the trunk.

"What you doing?! We're on the highway!" Gabe exclaimed as her sister climbed in the backseat.

"And I'm dying in these damn jeans and nice blouse I had planned for the job interview in Charming ironically." Kat shut the door and went about her spur of the moment change of clothes.

"I told you to wait until we got to the room rented for the night to change for the interview but nooooo." Gabe happily leaned against the car in a white off-the-shoulder sundress that swayed in the very light breeze.

"Shut it. Ahhh." Kat felt a refreshment from the breeze when she hopped out in her change of clothes and pulled her flats back on her feet. "Now I can survive."

"And give everyone who passes a glance of the assets no doubt." Gabe snorted as she dodged a smack from her sister.

A rumbling engine caught their attention as they saw a tow truck approaching in the distance. Relief flooded the girls as they wouldn't hopefully miss the schedule they had by much. The tow truck rumbled past slowly and the men inside the cab were not disappointed by what they seen near the car. The older man pulled the truck up and backed it near the car before shutting the truck off and sharing a glance with the younger man.

"Boyo, didja see them bonnies?" He mumbled almost like an excited teenager. "How's a lass like that all way out here?"

"The redhead is gorgeous man. We must absolutely be gentlemen to such exotic women of their caliber." Dan spoke while catching a glimpse in the side mirror angled just right at Gabrielle. "Wow."

"Good ta know ye won't be catching the attention of the dark haired one. Alright, straighten yaself up and let’s go." The older man got out first and shut the door with Dan following suit on the other side.

"Holy." Gabrielle mumbled softly while leaning up from the car, straightening up to get a good look of Dan. Kat, on the other hand found herself very curious about the other walking up to the car and was surprised at just how attractive he was to her eyes.

"Morning, ladies." Dan piped up as he and the other man walked around the truck. "Bit of car trouble I see?"

"Yeah, thought we put enough gas in at our last stop, it was full and now it's empty. I do not understand it at all." Kat crossed her arms in irritation as she leaned against the car.

"That's a sin, ya sure it's just the gas run out, lass?" The older man spoke and Kat was so glad she leaned against the car because the accent nearly made her knees buckle. ‘A Scottish dream come true' She thought as she looked over.

"I hope it's just out of gas because I just drove this car off the lot three days ago in Lodi.." She bit her cheek in annoyance that it could possibly be worse than no fuel in the car.

"Naw worries, lass. We get ye right and give it a look at the shop." The older man said, "This is Dan and I'm Filip but ye can call me Chibs."

"Katherine and this is my sister, Gabrielle. We appreciate you coming to our rescue today." Kat thought she sounded a little too appreciative but smiled anyways when he gave her a wink and it made her stomach flood with butterflies.

"We'll load the car up and then you ladies can hop in the front with us okay?" Dan smiled, knowing it was either gonna have Katherine in Chibs lap and he drive or Gabrielle in his lap in the passenger seat. The girls replied with a nod and stepped up near the front of the truck to let them do their job and exchanged giggles and glances.

"Sister, he's grey." Gabrielle teased at her sister quietly.

"No he's experienced and I'm older, it's not bad to look." She giggled while looking around the truck to see him controlling the wench and bending over to make sure the car was secured on the truck. "Salt n pepper they call it."

"It's the accent driving you bonkers right now." She snorted.

"Aye, that it is." She heard a snort and louder laughter from her sister because she saw him standing by the door with a grin.

"Ye dannae wannae stay out here in the hot sun do ye?" Chibs said while opening the door for them with a cheeky grin. Kat sheepishly glared at her sister as she climbed into the cab and occupied the seat in the middle while Dan hopped up in the passenger seat.

"Afraid you're gonna have to sit on my lap, love." Gabrielle studied his face for a moment before rolling her eyes as if she were annoyed by the thought but secretly smiled as she climbed in and comfortably occupied the vacant spot on his lap. Once the door was closed she leaned back with a little relief of the tension she felt right then and there. Chibs climbed in and they all squished a bit which Kat did not mind at all as he pulled around on the highway and headed for the town they hadn't seen in years.

~

Thirty minutes later, the tow truck was pulling up into the parking lot of the Teller-Morrow Auto shop and Samcro clubhouse next-door. The girls looked up and their eyes were glued to the row of motorcycles outside the shop as well as the group nearby at the picnic tables. As Chibs backed in the car near the garage, him and Dan shared a grin to see how eager they were about the motorcycles. With a halt and a hiss, the car was dropped to the ground slowly and Chibs shut off the truck. He got out on his side and held a hand out to Kat which she smiled as he slowly helped her down from the cab while Dan helped Gabrielle out before he got out himself. The boys went over to talk to the guys in the shop and they hurriedly come out to check on the car while the girls hung back near the tow truck. A few wolf whistles came from the group at the picnic table and made the girls giggle a bit but they ignored their calls.

"That is not little Katherine and Gabrielle Knowles?!" They turned to see the Gemma that Kat had spoken to on the phone.

"Oh whoa. Gemma as in Jax's mom?!" Kat exclaimed as they rushed over to hug her.

"I'm so glad to see you girls, what are you doing back around here?" She greeted the girls gladly.

"Well I had a job interview lined up to come back home. Sister begged us to come back after college finished." Kat smiled, "I dragged Gabrielle back with me."

"I made her go to this because she wanted to be back in Charming. She was miserable out there in the city working herself to the bone for a little pay." Gabrielle corrected her sister.

"So what's the job offer?" Gemma said, pulling the girls with her towards the picnic tables, "Boys, you better be respectful to these girls. I raised them as if they were my own and they turned out better than Tara did thank goodness."

"Sweet baby jesus, look at them all grown up." Bobby greeted them with bear hugs.

"Awww uncle Bobby!" The girls chimed while hugging him happily.

"Those are Tara's sisters?!" Dan mumbled as he stood across the lot at the garage entrance with Chibs. "Jax is gonna be surprised."

"Aye true nuff. Gorgeous lass, though." Chibs said while watching Bobby parade the girls around under his arms.

"Chibs, you've never called a croweater gorgeous. What's in your mind?" Dan said with a grin.

"Come off it, ya cannae say yer naw smitten over Gabrielle?" He smacked him with the clipboard of paperwork in his hand, glancing every so often over at the tables to see Kat laughing with the guys.

"That is not the point." Dan said while crossing his arms and smirking.

"Hey guys, there's a bit of a problem with her car." Their head mechanic got their attention and he led them over to the car. "It was a lemon. Someone sold the poor girl a lemon of a car. Nice exterior and appears good but the head gasket is out. Looks like the engine seized up as she was driving and it's done. No fluids in it either, someone was looking to make a quick penny or out to hurt them."

"Is that so?" Chibs turned Dan around and they walked over where the girls were sitting under the shade with the rest of the group talking up a bit. "Oi, miss Katherine." She looked up and her cheeks turned red at the way her named sounded in his accent.

"Is everything alright?" She went to get up but he sat down beside her and laid the paperwork on the table. "Naw, sweetheart. Whit bizzo diddy get that hunk o' metal from?" He asked curiously. "The engine was blown and ye had naw idea." "What?!" The girls exclaimed in unison. "Lowell gave it the once over and they sold you a lemon. You got a full tank of gas still sweetheart but it wasn't any good." Dan broke the news as he sat down beside Chibs. "Son of a bitch!" She cursed and caught them off guard. "I bought it from Darby's Auto in Lodi, he cut me a deal because he thought I was cute." Her eye twitched in anger and even her sister knew it was rare to see her that mad.

"Darby ye say?" Chibs' expression went from surprised to angry and he glanced at the rest of the boys. "He's still doing that bullshit lot in Lodi?" Another of the guys known as Opie chimed in, "Jax is gonna flip shit." "Speak o the devil." Chibs said as the clubhouse door opened with Gemma and Jax following with a smile for the girls. "Look at you girls, all grown up!" Jax said while happily greeting them both with hugs, "Tara's at work but she'll be happy to know you two made it."

"Jax," Kat started with her pouty face up at him and a soft whine "My car's a lemon and some jackass named Darby sold it to me." Chibs watched her with a raised brow and smirking to himself at how easily she can turn on the innocence even if her outfit said otherwise. "Excuse me?" He asked while looking at her, "Darby sold you a lemon?" She nodded, her lower lip still jutted out. "Aye, kiddo. The car's absolute shite and was doomed to be worse than the breakdown on the highway. Could've killed them if it had't." Chibs piped up. "Don't worry, big brother's gonna make it all better." He kissed her forehead, "Chibs, Opie and me are gonna personally see to it that you have personal pick of a new car. That sound good?" She clapped excitedly and hugged him again. "Boys?" "Be my pleasure to kick that fucker's arse." Chibs said with a smirk which made her smile and turn her head shyly. "Could we go inside and cool off for a bit?" Gabrielle fanned herself a bit, "Think I need a drink or two from the amount of dramatic my sister is." Dan laughed. "Come on, Gabrielle. This way." Dan gladly held his arm out and she took it while they went inside and immediately the group started catcalling and teasing which he casually put his hand behind his back and a simple hand gesture for the group while he took her inside the bar area. 

"Appreciate it, Dan. It was a little crowded out there." She hadn't honestly stepped in the clubhouse in a long time. There were times when they had family gatherings, the girls would indeed be up here with their sister Tara because of Jax, his one and only Old Lady. Gabrielle scrunched her nose up at some of the scantily clad girls who were starting to head over to talk to Dan but they immediately stopped when he turned at them and shook his head. Gabrielle found this odd but smiled while they sat on two barstools at the end of the counter. "Stupid, fake crow eaters. They come in flocks around here so I apologize about that." Dan patted on the bar for his fellow prospect and best friend Half Sack to pour them a drink. "S'alright. Crow eaters?" She asked. As familiar as she was with the place, she didn't know everything that went on behind these doors. "Oh, right. They are the ever so dumb bottle blond bimbos that are desperate to be a Sons' Old Lady. They'll take what they can get until asked. Usually, 9 times out of 10, they end up being lonely Crow eaters for life." Dan chuckled a bit which made Gabrielle snort. "Wow, good to know." She wrinkled her nose again at the thought that some croweater might have had his way with him and it bothered her more than she let on. "So which one likes you?"  "Ah, hah. A few of em like me but at the end of the day, I let them down and go home alone." He smiles as he sips on his beer. "Really?" She said, not meaning to look as surprised as she did and looked away for a moment. "So you just like the atmosphere here?" "Yeah. Definitely for sure if you're gonna hang around a bit." He grinned as he saw her cheeks redden a bit. "Count me in." She held her glass up to clink hers with his. "Wanna play some billiards?" "Gladly." He took her glass to set it behind the bar and led her over to the table. 

  The rest of the group flooded into the clubhouse save for Chibs, Jax, Opie and Kat sitting on the picnic tables still. Kat stands up and whines a little while stretching a bit. 

"I'm supposed to be at a job interview in an hour but I wanna go pick out my car." Kat says, pouting like she could get away with being a bit of a brat around them. "Whir's it at, lass?" Chibs asked. "Sweet Mayhem, the new bakery that came into town recently. I'm gonna be a real sweetbutt." She giggled which got the boys laughing a bit. "You better watch it cuz you might sweet talk Chibs here into a ride on his bike, sis." Jax wiggled his brows cuz he could already see the blush creeping on her cheeks. "Awww, Opie you owe me ten bucks. Told you she still had a crush on him." Opie grumbled a bit while digging his wallet out.  "Whit ye like, love. I can drive ya to the interview." He offers with a dimply smile. "Well I will have to go change first, all our stuff is in that hunk of rolling storage over there." She frowns at the car in the lot. "Allow me tae show the lass a place tae change yer clothes." Chibs stood up and held an arm out for her to freshen up a bit. "I'm gonna have to put a leash on you boys with the girls back in town." Jax said with a laugh as him and Opie went to find Clay to let him know what happened with the car.

  "I'm going to my interview, sis. You gonna be okay here at the clubhouse?" Kat, freshly changed in a nice white off the shoulder blouse, denim capris and white flats, comes around the bar talking to her sister. Chibs smiled at the change of her outfit, a little impressed. Sure, she looked gorgeous to him in her outfit of choice before but she cleaned up nicely and he wouldn't mind looking at that more often than not. "Dan's offered to drive me to the hotel to check in for us and all that. Then there's a little carnival for charity down at the fairgrounds so we're gonna go spend the afternoon there." "The rest of the Sons and ladies will be down after we settle the problem with Darby." The booming voice startled the girls and they turned to see Clay with Jax and Opie. "Can't believe you girls grew up so fast." Clay shared a grin as they hugged him as well despite him being the most intimidating of all. "Dan, you keep Gabrielle watched over down at the festival." "Yes sir." He pulled her under his arm as they decided to leave since her sister would be. "We'll use my truck to take the stuff to the hotel and then come back for the bike." "Ooooh." Gabrielle grinned while shuffling out the door with him. "And Chibs, I don’t know if Darby's guys won't be lurking around Charming but look out for her." Clay and Chibs shared a handshake as a silent promise that he'd protect Kat. "Onit, boss." He turns to her, a slight sparkle in his eyes. "Ye ready to ride with ol' Chibs?" He holds out a spare helmet for her. "Thank you." She smiles while taking it and walking ahead towards the door while putting the helmet on. "C'mon old man and show me a good time." "Sweet Jesus, this lass is a dream." He said which got all the boys laughing as he followed after her.

  ~ Clay, Opie, Jax and a couple of others from the club were slowly rolling up to the auto lot in Lodi a couple hours later to take care of the wrong done to you. With a stop in formation, they all shut their engines off as the ball, sad excuse for a man came out the door of the building where he ran his so called business.

  "Clay Morrow, to what do I owe this visit?" He spat with a malicious smile. "You sold a lemon to one of our girls that could have killed her. She broke down and it's at our shop right now." Clay spoke in his gruff tone. "Now I hope we don't have to result in violence to make it right." "I don't sell anything to a croweater." He snorted. "She's not a croweater, she's family." Jax spoke up, "Katherine, Tara's little sister. Bought a car a few days ago." "...." Darby went silent for a moment before hanging his head with a sigh of defeat. "Didn't realize that was here. Wow, she grew up." He rubbed the back of his head with a sigh. "No fights, no violence, just take your pick from the side of the lot that is good." He notions over to the right side of the lot. "Pleasure doing business, Darby. We'll bring her by and let her take her pick." Clay smirked triumphantly and at once, the engines roared again and one by one they left the parking lot with Darby looking pissed off as he went back inside.

 He threw a tool across the shop making the whole team look up. He slammed the door to his office and sat down, rubbing his face before picking up the phone and dialing a number. "It's Darby. They made it to Charming despite the car." He spoke into the phone. "Good, now all that's left to do is to ruin them." The voice cackled at the end as the line went dead.

[legends-of-apex]

Helping Hand

Robbie Reyes/Ghost Rider x Reader

Word count: 1,000

Rating: T (mentions of violence, angst)

Summary/AN: Just a wee drabble about how you and Robbie meet and the night he becomes Ghost Rider. Mostly just Fluff!

Robbie Reyes just so happened to be working the day you came panting into the mechanic's yard. Your skin was flushed and you’d clearly been running. “What can I do for you?” He asked, wiping his oil-stained hands on a raggedy cloth as he approached you.

“This couple broke down about a few miles down the road. Think they might need to be towed.” You explained, “I was wondering if you might give them a hand?”

He said he’d be happy to. And he let you ride shotgun in the pickup truck on the way too. You were a Good Samaritan who just happened to walk by when this car started smoking. The couple pulled over and you immediately offered your help.

“You know, you could have called. Would’ve saved you a trip.” Robbie said, driving with one hand on the wheel, a smile spread across his face.

You decided then that you liked his smile. It was goofy. “Phone’s dead and I didn’t know you guy’s number.” You replied, entirely delighted that you hadn’t just called ahead and missed the chance to meet this handsome man.

He tapped the wheel once as if garnering the courage to ask you something,“You mind if I ask for yours once we’ve got these folks back here?” He changed hands on the wheel now but looked over at you briefly, his smile never faltering.

“Sure, but it’ll cost you.”

“Yeah?” He asked, honestly delighted you were even considering it, “What’s the going rate?”

“A coffee?” You suggested with a smile and he agreed. You could’ve told him it was a lump of gold and he still would’ve thought it to be a good deal.

That’s how you met him. He was so full of hope then, so happy and free. Those few months were some of the happiest he’d ever been until the night everything changed. He called you, his voice breaking like he was straining not to cry. He asked if he could come over although he’d come over what must’ve been a thousand times before.

You waited by the door and opened it before he could finish his first knock. He collapsed at your feet then, hugging your stomach and crying. When you embraced him his skin was hot, like he’d been leaning on a radiator. He told you everything there and then. He told you about Gabe, about the drive by, about how he’d died and how something had happened that he couldn’t explain.

“Can you show me?” You asked, trying just trying to remain calm for his sake.

He shook his head as more tears fell from his brilliant eyes, “It’s not something you’re gonna wanna see, Cariña (sweetheart)“ he looked almost guilty, but certainly afraid of what you would think of him.

You took his face in your hands then and held his gaze, “Robbie, whatever it is baby you’re still you and I’m still me. So show me so I can help you. Please.”

He inhaled a long breath and when his eyes opened they were glowing a deep, radiating orange. You took a step back and watched in horror as his flesh burned and melted away until all that was left was a flaming skull where his head had been. He shook it off with a roll of his shoulders a moment later and his face reappeared exactly as it was before.

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing but you trusted him enough to explain and you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. No matter how terrifying he’d just seemed.

He told you everything. The guilt, the hellfire, the demon. Everything. And you listened and you held him and then you took him to your bed where he all but instantly passed out the moment his head hit your pillow.

You couldn’t blame him after everything he’d been through the night before. You stayed up just a little longer. Watching his face as he slept and worrying for him and for Gabe, although Robbie assured you he was stable.

“Cariña…” he mumbled and held his hand out to you, “Please stay with me.” He honestly didn’t think he could sleep otherwise. So you did and he was so warm. You couldn’t even believe how warm he was. But it was a comforting warmth and you never felt yourself feeling cold with Robbie around.

He always held you close but especially on cold nights where you’d all but cling to him in search of his endless heat. Most of the time when he’d come in from vigilanteing he’d find you on the couch having fallen asleep waiting for him. So he’d scoop you up into his arms and cradle you to his chest, pressing kisses to your hair as he carried you to your shared bed. When he’d set you down on the bed and pull away from you to get changed you often whine at the loss of his warmth.

“Baby, I’ve gotta get outta these clothes. Hold tight,” he would tell you with a kiss to your forehead. You just hunker down beneath the covers and wait for him to join you and wrap you up in his arms. After shedding his bloody and burnt-smelling clothes, he soon joined you beneath the covers and took you in his arms again. Where you stayed until Gabe would burst in in the early morning and ask what you guys wanted for breakfast.

“Ten more minutes…” Robbie often replied, hiding his face in your hair.

Gabe rolled his eyes, not understanding why his brother was so tired since he had no idea what he got up to at night, “Not edible, Robbie! You’ve got five minutes before I’m back with the water gun.”

He wasn’t kidding and he was one hell of a shot with that thing. The mere mention of the super soaker was always enough to send you both scrambling to get out of bed and help Gabe with making breakfast for the three of you.

[objection-argumentative]

Bulletproof

Axel-20

Matteo-17

Gabriel-17

Isla-16

@teamsladsandgents

It was a hot Wednesday afternoon. This summer, everything changed for your family. Axel was Twenty, ready to start his third year of Harvard University in the upcoming weeks. Matty would play soccer with his friends all day at St James Park, only to stop and have lunch at his Aubela's nearby through the day and take his girlfriend Catelyn out through the evenings. Gabe was a lot more reserved these days; usually, he and Matty were inseparable, but this past year, he has his own group of friends that do their own thing. He regularly attends a youth centre with his friends, and the youth centre set up a summer program for teenagers. They get to go on days out and camping trips, and Gabe enjoys it. But, on the other hand, Isla begged to go to summer camp, all of her friends were going, and she didn't want to miss out. So, despite all of your concerns, you let her go to Long Lakes Adventure Camp in upstate New York for the entire summer.

It was a hot summer day on Wednesday, July 13th. You were at your desk facing your partner Amaro pulling funny faces at each other, trying not to laugh as your husband stressed about getting DNA from a suspect lawfully and not by Finn knocking his glasses off his face. Then, your desk phone rang beside you, pulling everyone away from your husband's agitated state.  

"Barba! yeah, send me the address, Green, and we will be right there." You put the receiver down.

"Shooter opened fire in an LGBTQ+ youth centre, no one is fatally injured, but a boy was shot in the right arm, medics are on scene now." The entire squad, including Barba, stopped what they were doing and headed to the centre.

Olivia introduced herself to the centre manager while you speak to the kids who witnessed the attack. You were talking to a girl named Hayley; your heart broke for her.

"I come here because it is safe. I don't need to be afraid. Then that man comes in here and wrecks everything." she sighs and looks around the room.

"Hayley, I promise you we will catch him", she scoffs.

"Yeah, Whatever" she walks away from you.

You go to grab another kid to take their statement when a uni and his rookie fresh from the academy come into the building.

"that's the fag on its way to the hospital. I told the driver to go the free wing, so he doesn't land them in debt or increase their premium. It's the parents who I feel sorry for. What parent wants a queer for a son." Officer Sal D'Angelo boomed into the quiet room. His rookie David Green looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. He had just come out of the academy two weeks ago at the young age of 21.

"Badge number now!" Olivia shouted at officer D'Angelo. he gives her his badge number

"I'm going IAB. Say goodbye to your career D'Angelo" she shakes her head at him while all of the detectives gather around with Rafael, letting him know what was discovered.

*Later that night*

"Officer Green, did you get much from the boy? A name? we might be able to tell his family he has been shot." you and Amaro looked at each other, totally forgetting about the family.

"Yeah, I did. the boy is Seventeen from the suburbs." Rafael rolled his eyes.

"A name?" Rafael said in a stern voice.

"Gabriel Barba." Rafael went pale, and you felt sick to the stomach that someone hurt your baby.

"Erm, what hospital?" Rafael tripped out his words

"Bellevue", Green responded

"I'll drive", Olivia and Amaro both said at the same time.

"Hello, Yes, this is Mr Rafael Barba. I have just been informed that my son Gabriel Barba is on his way to you with a bullet in his arm. So yes, don't put him in the free facility. The best of the best for my son." he hung up his cell and grabbed your hand.

"Let's go, Carino" you nod, still in shock that someone tried to kill Gabe.

Gabe is sat up in bed with his arm in a sling; he is doped up on pain meds. Both you and your husband are sitting to the side of the bed.

"How are you feeling, son?" Rafael asked

"I feel fine. I can honestly say when mom got shot in the arm, she was hella dramatic." Both you and Rafael laughed.

"Just wait till the meds stop working, Gabe, you will be sorry." just as all three of you settle, you hear a knock on the door. Officer David Green was in casual wear with a box of strawberry doughnuts and a cappuccino- Gabe's favourite.

"Officer Green, What are you doing here?" Rafael questioned. You watched Gabe clam up.

"Rafael, why don't we leave David and Gabe alone while we get some coffee?" he gave you a confused look as you pull him out of the room.

"Carino, I want to be with my son", Rafael shot at you.

"So does his boyfriend, Rafi!" Rafael nodded and pulled you in for a cuddle.

When you go back into the room, you pull David out for a chat.

" Your Dating, my son?" you ask.

" Mrs Barba, I'm sorry if I crossed a line. I met him four weeks after he turned seventeen when I did some volunteer work with the centre. He is an amazing young man. I love him" You nod your head.

"Thank you for being there for my son when he thought he had no one." David nodded his head as he headed back towards the door.

When you entered the room, both Rafael and Gabe were snacking on the doughnuts laughing at a joke Gabe made about the Barba's liking a uniform when Lucia walked in.

"Jesus Gabe, You got shot?" Lucia questioned.

"Abuela, I'm fine" she kisses every inch of his face.

"What is wrong with the men in this family? What is wrong with just sitting down and coming out. Your dad Gabe waited until he was in college, told me over the phone and then when I was supportive of him being bisexual. Then, he demanded he comes home for the weekend as he insisted I didn't understand the situation. And you get shot." Rafael rolled his eyes.

"Mami, At least give him the dinner you cooked him before you tell him off." she tutted at her son while she unpacked the Tupperware of food from her bag.

"Rafael, go and get your son a Pepsi from the vending machine." she was plating up his food as Rafael came back in with the Pepsi. Lucia poured the can of Pepsi into the glass in front of Gabe. She kissed his cheek and sat down to watch him eat. You finally were at peace. He was safe with his family. He was laughing as his Abuela told off his dad.

Gabe could finally be what he wanted to be, Himself.

[hockeyboysiguess]

three french horns -> three goal horns | n. mackinnon

a/n: and like clockwork, here is fic number three in my 12 days of christmas series! i wrote this one a while ago and i hurt myself re-reading it to proof it, so i hope you all like it! rest of the christmas series linked here.

word count:  4,037

warnings: alcohol, drinking 

“Hey, Nate?” you called out from the living room when you heard the back door open, signaling his reappearance in the house after letting the dogs outside. 

“Yeah, baby?” he asked as he stomped his boots on the mat, shaking the last bit of the early Denver snow off. 

You asked the question you’d been asking him since two weeks after his birthday, the same question you’d been asking a variation of for the three months before his birthday. “Nate, what do you want for Christmas?” 

The sound that left Nate’s mouth was barely human, a groan coming from deep within, from the place that never knew what he wanted for any major gift giving holiday of any kind. You tried to be original, get sentimental things, but it was hard to buy for someone who could literally buy anything they ever wanted. Nate didn’t have big, expensive wishes, so if he wanted something, he often just bought it on the spot and you were none-the-wiser until it showed up at his house. This penchant, this bad habit, carried throughout the holiday season; it was a perpetual state of being for Nathan MacKinnon. This meant that items Nate ordered for himself were as likely to show up December 24th as any other day of the year, which was eternally infuriating as a person in his life trying to buy him gifts on the semi-regular basis. 

“I don’t know,” he answered you, like he did every other time. “I’ll like it because it’s from you.” 

That response was sweet the first, second, and half-sweet the third time he’d used it on you. Now, that response was worn out like an old pair of jeans, with holes in the thighs and the knees hanging together by a thread, absolutely unusable at this point in time really. Yet Nate continued to say it, like that string of seven words didn’t light a fire in your stomach completely unlike the kind crackling under the stockings on the mantle right now. 

“Nate,” you groaned, all too similarly to how he had when you asked your question. Spend enough time with a person and you pick up their habits. You and Nate were a completely unoriginal example of that. “You know I hate when you say that.” 

Nate rolled his eyes and shrugged, “Well, I don’t really know. A hat trick? But you can’t get me that, I’ve got to get that for me.” 

The infamous illusive hat trick. While it wasn’t those dreaded seven words, you were pretty sure you had heard about this hat trick that was alluding him every other day at this point. In all fairness to Nate, the amount of times he had scored twice in the first two periods of a game this season and been held off the scoreboard in the second was absurd. Commentators were joking about it, his teammates were chirping him over not one, not two, but three missed empty netters that would’ve sealed it, even though Nate liked to say those didn’t really count as hat tricks. Greater than all of that, Nate was starting to incredibly frustrated with himself and his performances. You knew Nate was a competitive guy before you even went on your first date with him, but his competitiveness ran deep and honestly you weren’t sure your relationship would work if you were even an ounce more competitive than you were. Nate had to win, he had to achieve his goals. This goal was quite simply just three goals, but it continued to be just out of reach this season and coming up on the holiday season, pushing the halfway mark, Nate was starting to think it might not happen this year. 

“You’ll get one, Nate,” you sighed. “You’re so close and you’re too good not to get whatever you put your mind to.” 

“I got a good feeling about the game tomorrow,” he replied, sliding up next to you on the couch to throw a Christmas sweater-covered arm around your shoulders. “My good luck charm is going to be there, right?” 

Nate wasn’t superstitious in the slightest, but he said he always scored more whenever you came. Statistically, a complete lie, but it made you feel special all the same. He kissed your temple softly as he relaxed into the couch cushions next to you. 

“So, what are we watching? Classic or trashy Christmas?” 

That question itself somehow encapsulated every single reason you loved Nathan MacKinnon, despite his pension for buying his own Christmas presents, his overly competitive nature, and the difficulty that came with trying to buy him a present. Nate didn’t love Christmas movies; he wasn’t a hater like some people you’d dated before, but you adored them, both classic and trashy alike. Nate jumped on board with whatever you liked, no questions asked. He always said you didn’t sign up to date all of his teammates that walked through the door scrounging for homemade food or the long hours alone, the least he could do was be as supportive of the things you liked as you were about hockey for him. Nate’s support came in casual, steady waves of constantly and consistently showing up, no matter how tired he was, no matter how long the day before had been. He might fall asleep twenty minutes into the movie, but Nate was here and active and present for as long as he could stay awake. He’d cross deserts and move mountains for an hour with you, and some days that’s what it took, but Nate showed up and jumped on board, which made him the easiest person in the world to love in spite of everything else. It made him the only person you wanted to spend this Christmas and every other one in the future with.

The next day, with his last name on your back and a Santa hat on your head, you found yourself in a position that felt all too familiar this season. You were watching the ice with eager eyes among the other wives and girlfriends. Your breath caught in your throat halfway through the first when you saw two seconds after him that there was nothing between Nate and the net but open ice and a goaltender. You slowly stood up, leaning forward as if those all important inches would help you see the ice better. You didn’t miss the puck sailing over the blocker’s side of the goaltender, or the eruption of cheers from everyone around you as the goal horn rang out, hopefully the first of three for Nate this evening. Mel hugged you, as if you had anything to do with Nate scoring. You adjusted your hat, pulling at the fluffy white edge until it sat a little less haphazardly on your head as you cheered. 

“Two more, right?” Mel waggled her eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes. 

“For my sake, I hope so,” you laughed. 

Going into Christmas break without this elusive hat trick meant the next four days would be spent with Nate’s mind half at the rink, trying to scheme and plan and game his way into a hat trick, as if the part he was missing was anything other than luck. Maybe he didn’t need regular luck though, maybe just a little bit of Christmas would do the trick tonight. Your third beer in, a vain attempt to calm your nerves with alcohol, and five minutes into the second, on the power play, you watched as Nate easily sailed in his second goal of the game from the high slot, causing the ever familiar cheers and the ringing of the Avalanche goal horn to sound out across the arena. 

Two down, and hopefully one to go. 

“Hatty watch,” one of the other girls sang out from behind you, giving your shoulders a squeeze. 

You let out a loud, long breath, causing a wave of laughter to ripple across the other women around you. Mel teased you about it; they all did. Nate’s quest was well known among the group, something they were equally supportive and teasing about. 

“He’ll get one,” Mel assured you with a comforting pat to your leg. “He’s too good not to.”

You really thought he had it. You watched as Mikko and Nate peeled off from the defenders caught on an odd change, leading to a two-on-one with a lone opposing forward doing his best, but poor, impersonation of a defensemen. Mikko passed the puck to Nate, which Nate passed back easily and set himself up for the perfect slap shot on the return. The quick passing had sent the other team’s player sprawling over the ice. It was just Nate and the goaltender, who was frantically shifting his eyes from Mikko to Nate, tilting back and forth on the ice. Mikko’s pass was perfect, right on the middle of Nate’s tape and Nate was ready for the pass. It was tracking high glove side, exactly where Nate wanted it to go, right into the back of the net. The goalie was facing Mikko, two key seconds behind the actual action. Except out of nowhere, the Grinch stole Christmas and Nate’s hat trick when the goalie’s glove suddenly appeared in the path the puck was taking and wrapped around the puck, just on the wrong side of the goal line for Nate. 

The referee blew the whistle and signaled no goal. Nate’s hands dropped down, stick hanging low. His head tilted up toward the ceiling of the arena and you could practically hear the groan rise from deep in his chest. It was absolute robbery at its finest and the entire arena knew luck wasn’t on Nate’s side that night. You slumped down into your seat, preparing yourself for yet another two goal game and a frustrated Nate waiting for you in the tunnel when it was over. There were another twenty minutes left in the game, but if the first half of the season had taught you anything, third periods weren’t where Nate racked up anything other than wins and assists, both of which he loved, but he just wanted a third goal, just once. Mikko and Gabe each having one already this season, all six goals involving Nate as either the primary or secondary assist, didn’t help either. 

“I think you need to pray or something,” Mel told you with a laugh. “Pray to anything and anyone out there at this point.”

You cleared your throat and looked up at the ceiling of the Pepsi arena, “Santa, I know this isn’t how you take requests,” Mel and the girls around you were already laughing, “but please, pretty freaking please, can we just get some Christmas miracle magic vibes in here? It’s all he wants for Christmas. Please and thank you and I hope you have a Merry Christmas.” 

“Are you supposed to say amen if you pray to Santa?” someone behind you asked. 

“Look I’m not opposed to it,” you sighed. “It just didn’t feel like the right ending when I was asking for a Christmas miracle.”

The girls all laughed and you just stared up at the ceiling. Maybe Santa might grant your unorthodox request delivered via an even more unorthodox method. Maybe you should’ve written him a letter and dropped it into one of those charity red mailboxes at Macy’s. Maybe Nate just wouldn’t be getting the one thing he wanted for Christmas and there was absolutely nothing you could do about it. You knew he was joking when he asked for a hat trick for Christmas, but joking or not, it was the only thing he even sort of mentioned wanting. If sending out a Christmas wish audibly in the middle of the Pepsi arena was what it took, you were more than happy to do it. 

You grabbed your fourth and fifth beer together during the intermission, knowing full and well that you didn’t want to miss a second of one of Nate’s shifts in case something good happened. If after all of this time, all of this waiting, all of Nate’s back and forth debating, if you missed his hat trick goal because you were grabbing another beer, you would have to guess that higher powers didn’t exist and the hockey gods loved laughing at you and maybe Christmas wasn’t that magical after all. 

The third period was half over when you finished your fourth beer. Your right leg had been bouncing on the concrete since the period started. Nate was getting some good looks, and added another assist to his point tally for the night, but you and everyone knew what he actually wanted tonight. A slashing call with eight minutes to go put the Avalanche back on the power play, and you knew Nate was going to fight to play every bit of those two minutes he could get, which meant you were about to be in for a mentally exhausting two minutes. Mel offered her hand to you, already knowing you would need her to ground you through this. 

The first shot on the power play from Mikko ended up in the opposing goaltender’s glove. Nate lined up for the next face-off and you swore you didn’t breathe as soon as the puck left the referee's hand. Nate swept it back easily to a waiting Gabe. You gripped Mel’s hand hard, grateful you both did this for each other often enough that she didn’t mind. Nate slid up through the low slot and you saw the stars aligning as Gabe sent the puck perfectly in Nate’s direction. Nate was already ready for it when it came, the puck on his stick for less than a second. Your eyes went wide and you felt like you were about to break Mel’s hand as the goaltender shrugged his shoulder up to block Nate’s shot, but he came up short and the puck hit the back of the net. 

You were screaming as you jumped to your feet, arms wrapping tightly around Mel as someone else hugged you from behind, again like you’d done anything other than practically give yourself a heart attack watching it. Nate was surrounded by his teammates on the ice, earning a swift pat on the top of the head from Gabe. A glance up at the Jumbotron showed you the wide, bright smile on his face, filling with relief and absolute joy. Mel grabbed your hat by the pom pom and chucked it down towards the ice, making you laugh and a smile that rivaled Nate’s come across your face.

“Finally,” you breathed out a sigh of relief as the arena calmed itself, calming you with it. 

You plopped back down into your seat, hatless with half a beer and your pride in Nate left to coast you through the next ten minutes. You knew Nate was going to be in a good mood, and you just wanted to get through the next ten minutes of the game to get to him and congratulate him yourself. The score was heavy in favor of the Avs and they weren’t in any danger of losing this game, so you got to drink your beer and let out a long breath you’d been holding since Nate first came home after back to back two goal games in October without a hat trick in sight. 

You were practically bouncing on your heels as you waited in the tunnel for him, fingers fussing with the frayed edge of your denim jacket to get out some of your anxious energy. The second he rounded the corner, a wide, gorgeous smile on his face, you ran toward him. Nate wasn’t the type for large public displays of affection, but satisfaction from your incredibly competitive boyfriend was a hell of an influencer and he opened his arms wide for you. You jumped into him and he stumbled a second before catching you easily, one hand guiding your legs around his waist, the other supporting the back of your thighs. 

“Congratulations,” you mumbled in his ear as he laughed at your openly shared excitement for him. 

“Thanks, baby,” he told you, the smile he was wearing evident in his voice.

“Proud of you always,” you reminded him as you untucked your head from his neck. 

You said it after every single game, win or lose, five points or no points, goal or no goal, you told Nate you were proud of him after every single game. The stats sheet didn’t matter to you. You loved him and you saw the grueling work he put in every single day, every single second he was on the ice. You were proud of him no matter what, and it was one of the thousands of reasons he had come to love you for. Your support, your pride in him and the work he put in never wavered. It was steadfast, something hard to come by in a life as crazy as he lived. You were his rock, his home, and he felt it like the gradual, comforting warmth from sitting by the fire on Christmas Eve, when the world seemed a little more good than it actually was, when you told him you were proud of him. 

Nate smiled as he pressed a soft, quick kiss to your lips before gently guiding your feet back to the ground. He pulled you in tighter, collapsing you into him as he let out a long breath that had been holding his tension for months, caught in the hollows of his chest, finally working its way out into the open air. It had been haunting him, like a ghastly Halloween hangover that dared to last until Christmas. Thankfully, it was December now and Nate felt lighter and freer than he had in months. 

“You got what you wanted for Christmas,” you mumbled into his chest, causing his chest to vibrate with laughter. 

“Guess I sort of did, yeah.” He kissed the top of your head softly. “Ready to go home?” 

“Ready for four days of you and me time?” you teased him a little. 

Despite your teasing, his response was entirely genuine, “Been looking forward to it for weeks now.” 

Your smile in response to his words stuck with you the entire way home. Nate loved you in actions, but sometimes it was nice to hear words from him as well. You kicked off your shoes at the front door, just in the knick of time before the dogs could come and greet you both. 

“Want me to crack a bottle of wine or champagne?” you asked Nate as he dropped his bag by the front door. 

“Champagne,” he told you before dropping a kiss to your temple. “We’re celebrating tonight.” 

You slid into the kitchen, dogs hot on your heels, as you made a beeline for the champagne in the fridge. You’d slid it in before you left for the game on the chance Nate finally got his hat trick tonight. You hadn’t wanted to drink warm champagne if that was the case and now, holding the cold bottle of champagne and two flutes, you knew you had made the right decision betting on your boyfriend tonight. He rounded the corner into the kitchen a few moments later, game day suit still on, jacket and tie lost back in your shared bedroom.

“Glad you got yourself what you wanted for Christmas, Nate,” you smiled teasingly at him as you started to fuss with the gold foil over the champagne cork. 

“Before you pop that,” he told you, reaching a hand out to place over yours as you worked on the foil covering the cork, “I, um, I have something for you.” 

“Nate, it’s December twenty-third,” you sighed, setting the bottle down on the cool stone counter. “Can’t it wait a couple of days?” 

Nate smiled softly at you, a smile that seemed to mean he knew more than you in this exact moment, “I’ve actually been holding on to this gift for a long time and I think tonight is the perfect night to give it to you. Are you okay if I blow up Christmas a little bit?” 

You sighed again and gave Nate a stern look up and down, but the softness in his blue eyes and the innocence in his lazy smile pulled you in and had you nodding in approval. Your nod caused nerves to dance in Nate’s eyes and his hands to slide into his pockets, fidgeting with their contents. He shifted softly from one foot to the other. His eyes dropped to the floor for a moment to watch his feet move before he slowly lifted his head back up in time with a bounce on his heels. 

“Okay, here we go,” he mumbled softly to himself. 

He cleared his throat before speaking, “I told you I don’t know what I want for Christmas. Hell, I told you that I didn’t know what I wanted for my birthday and that was back in September. The truth is I’ve known what I’ve actually wanted the whole time. The hat trick was nice and all, but it wasn’t really what I wanted.”

“Whatever it is, you could’ve told me,” you chided him a little. 

Your words were met with an anxious smile and more shuffling of his feet across the floor. He shook his head softly and let out a tight breath before continuing. 

“The only thing I want for Christmas is something you can give me, but you can get it for me,” he told you softly, his voice shaking as he spoke, the nerves in his eyes and his feet and his hands tightening and constricting his voice resonating in his chest. 

Nate slowly pulled a hand out of his pocket before purposefully, and painstakingly slowly, dropping down on one knee in front of you. Your hands flew over your mouth on instinct and your eyes clouded over instantly. Nate smiled softly at your reaction, trying desperately not to let what he hoped your actions meant take over and make him too hopeful of your answer to his question to prevent him from asking it. He carefully opened the small black box in his hand to show you your early Christmas present, a beautiful ring nestled among the black velvet inside. 

“For Christmas, I’d like for you to say you’ll be my wife,” he continued slowly and as steadily as he could. “The thing I’m most proud of, of everything I’ve ever done, is being your partner. I love you so much more than I say, but I hope I show it enough that you want to sign up for me forever because it’s just you. It’s just you forever, for every single day, every single holiday, every single moment. I want to spend every single Christmas for the rest of my life with you. So, what do you say? Will you be my wife? Will you make my Christmas wish come true?” 

The cliches hung thick in his words, but the emotions behind them, the sentiment was so true you could feel it in the very core of who you were. Nathan MacKinnon saw you, faults and gifts and everything in between and loved you in the steadiest, most true way you had ever known. In the light of the Christmas tree, in the home you built together, with the life you build together palatable around you, Nate was asking you to build the rest of it together. You didn’t have to think about your answer. 

“Yes, Nate. Yes, I’ll marry you.” 

Nerves gave way to relief which even more quickly gave way to joy on Nate’s face as he slowly slid the ring he’d had tucked in the back drawer for months onto your finger where it belonged. Nate let out a long breath at the sight of it finally on your hand before slowly standing up in front of you, his hands reaching out to cup your face gingerly. 

“Best early Christmas present ever,” you told him with a wide smile on your face. 

He smiled back just as widely and happily as you grinned at him, “Merry Christmas, my future wife.”

[suckerfordeansfreckles]

Balcony Dates

Dean has been hearing a lot of things from behind the wall that separates his apartment from his cute neighbor’s. It’s not like he listens for them, it’s just that the walls are very thin. 

He’s heard lot of things that made him shake his head in confusion, theories about the Harry Potter universe, constant bangs and shouts of pain, really really really questionable phone conversations with some Gabriel that so frequently end in loug sighs that Dean has concluded Gabe must be a family member of some sort. Monologues about bees in Europe, human trafficking, frog species? 

Dean’s heard a few nice things, too, soft singing, whistling, accompanied by sounds that make Dean believe that his neighbor enjoys dancing around his place to commercials and 80s pop songs. Deep and throaty laughs.

A few very, very nice things in the deep of the night that Dean can’t think about without blushing bright red and feeling deeply ashamed for listening.

He’s heard a lot, over the year he’s been living next to the ruffled, cute guy next-door. Most of it was tinted a little by the fact that the pandemic made sure Dean couldn’t go over there and introduce himself in person. There have been glimpses of each other in the hallway, arms full of groceries or mail, faces hidden by masks. But nothing more. 

It’s absurd that Dean feels like he knows the guy by now, even though he doesn’t even know his first name. 

It’s absurd, that Dean feels any right to do this, but right now, with C. Novak sobbing and gasping on the other side of his bedroom wall, Dean can’t help it at all.

He scoots towards the end of his bed, knocks against the wall, knocks again until the sobbing quiets down for a moment.

“Hey,” he says, for a lack of a better introduction. “Hello, I’m pretty sure you can hear me through the wall. I just… I hope you’re okay?” He starts to talk louder, hears nothing from the other apartment except for a few very dampened sniffles. “You don’t sound like you’re okay, and I guess I just wanted to know if I could help?” He’s rambling at his wall, but he can’t stop himself. “I know we don’t really know each other yet, but I’m Dean.”

He waits, a few very long heartbeats, until the wall answers. “I’m Cas.”

There’s a smile on his face he can’t explain. “Hey there, Cas. Hope I got that right.”

A thump from the other side of the wall. Another sob. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Did you hear all of that?” Cas asks, voice sounding choked, as far as Dean can make that out through the wall.

“A bit of it. Not everything.”

“Oh my god.”

“Please don’t be ashamed. I bet you must have heard some pretty embarrassing things from my side of the wall by now too, right? I’ve been told I talk in my sleep.”

That gets a short laugh out of his neighbor. “And here I was, thinking you just enjoy monologuing at three a.m.” 

Dean decides to be bold, just blurts: “Would you want to come out on the balcony with me?”

There’s no answer for a long time, so Dean walks across his room towards the glass door that leads him onto his small balcony and opens it. There are a few feet of distance between his and Cas’ balcony, but it’s a good distance to speak to each other. How they’ve never been out there at the same time so far, Dean doesn’t know. 

It’s cold outside, chilling to the bone, but he can’t be bothered about that right now. All he can focus on is the tousled head peeking out between dark-green curtains. Cas’ eyes are red, cheeks blotchy and wet, nose swollen.

“Hey,” Dean says again, and Cas’ blinks at him for a few seconds before stepping out onto his own balcony.

“Hey,” Cas answers, pulling the sleeves of his sweater down and over his hands. “Sorry again, for the noise. I just --”

“Dude,” Dean takes over when Cas can’t finish his sentence. “It’s okay! I was just honestly worried you were seriously injured. Do you… wanna talk about it?” He steps closer towards the end of his balcony, hands on the railing. They are being very safe, he reminds himself, enough space and fresh air and everything. And Cas just really seems like he needs a friend right now.

“I’m not -- There isn’t really anything to talk about. Today is just a lot, or maybe, life is just a lot lately. I’m not sure I can…” There’s a tear sliding down Cas’ cheek, and Dean desperately wants to reach out and wipe it away. “It feels like I’m losing control over everything in my life, I’m just over it. Fucking pandemic.”

Dean can’t help but snort at that, sending Cas a half-smile. “If that ain’t a fucking mood. This year should just end already.”

“Yeah, it really should.” Cas laughs wetly, rubbing a shirtsleeve over his cheeks. “I’m a little embarrassed that you had to listen to my break-down. And that you see me like this,” he gestures at himself.

“You’re still super cute to me,” Dean blurts, before really thinking about it, and then he gets to watch the redness spread from Cas’ cheeks down to his neck in the evening sun.

“That,” Cas stutters. “I can’t really believe that, but thank you. Thank you for… interrupting me, Dean, for getting my mind off of everything.”

“Whenever you need me,” Dean says, and feels something warm bloom in his chest when he watches the first smile stretch across Cas’ face. “And now… Do you want some hot chocolate? And maybe tell me about yourself?”

Cas is smiling softly when he agrees, and he keeps smiling softly through most of the evening. Dean has seldomly felt prouder.

A few hours later finds them wrapped in their blankets out on their balconies in the dark of the night, drinking their second hot chocolate, their respective (and honestly quite sad) collections of candles spread around them, talking about life, family, loneliness and the world.

When Dean goes to bed that night, Cas is more than just cute to him. They have also switched phone numbers and scheduled another balcony-date for the next day. 

(And so what if maybe they violate some government rules when, four weeks of self-quarantining and balcony-dating later, Dean takes Cas home with him and cuddles him on the balcony as hard as he would have wanted to that first day.)