#honestly don’t have a good reason for deleting it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
myspilledguts-n-stuff · 2 days ago
Text
blaming it on my problems, that was stupid, my problems don’t justify hate and I was just looking for a way out of a fight like an immature child. I did make myself to be the victim and that was fucking stupid of me. Again I was looking for a way to get out of something instead of growing the fuck up and facing conflict like an adult
I thought my post wouldn’t be seen and so I just spewed out hate for no good reason, which was stupid because I literally again added tags knowing fans would see it.
I just again wanna say that everyone and have their own opinions and I know you know that and I know opinions aren’t free from criticism. I realize some opinions are best left unsaid or spoken irl so they can be better explained. again I did delete the post but I know that doesn’t change what I said. Noah does experience a ton of hate and me a random adult on the internet didn’t need to contribute to that, and add fuel to the fire.
I would never wish harm on someone who has done nothing wrong. Noah literally apologized multiple times for a mistake that wasn’t even his fault and that takes guts I’m sure. I shouldn’t have tried to be apart of the mindless jerks who spread negativity with no reason and expect no consequences.
I started off straight away really aggressive with my reply’s to you about this when I didn’t need to be and I am honestly sorry for that.
this doesn’t change my opinion and I know that’s not what you were aiming for in the first place you were just calling me out for being a bitch.
Okay I’m just gonna say it
I love Will Byers he’s amazing obviously
But
I really don’t like Noah Schnapp
Sorry
(not sorry)
31 notes · View notes
rosicheeks · 2 years ago
Note
I missed the pretty little angels pretty little singing voice!? 🥺🥺
I’m sorryyyyy 😔
#I posted it for a few hours last night!#but then before bed I decided to delete it#honestly don’t have a good reason for deleting it#I still have it saved to my phone#so who knows maybe I’ll upload it again sometime#I think it’s just cause the perfectionist in me kept telling me that it wasn’t good enough#that I can’t post something unless I’ve worked on it for hours and recorded it a billion times#I still remember back in school and practicing songs over and over again#I don’t miss my anxiety and stage freight#but fuck me I miss performing#I know I know ‘go check out community theaters’ and stuff like that#but I don’t have the time!#I need to find a job#I’m still dogsitting#need to clean and organize my place#hopefully find my own place in the near future and move#it’s hard for me to commit to something like that when it’s going to be a big time commitment#I just wish it was easier to get into that career#being paid to act and sing#now THAT is the dream#I was singing O Mio babbino in the car and almost cried#that was the last song that I seriously studied#I still know most of it but some of the words are a blur#mad at myself for not trying to get into college or anything like that#going from a performing arts high school to a performing arts college sounds so amazing#I mean anything sounds better than what I’m doing right now#ok not getting into that 😂 but maybe if you ask me really nicely I’ll upload it again for a little bit#I do really want to record a classical song sometime and show off my high notes 😇😇 but that’ll be when I’m able to record on my laptop cause#my phone would not be able to handle my high notes hahaha#ask
4 notes · View notes
solarpunkani · 2 years ago
Text
Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that ‘Don’t want bugs in your house’ is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. ‘Loves nature’ and ‘doesn’t want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the house’ aren’t opposites.
And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ‘deal with it.’
6K notes · View notes
machiavellli · 3 months ago
Text
I’ll go into a social media exile for a bit, so idk when I’ll be back, but just picture me like this while I’m gone: working <3
Tumblr media
#I hope to pass my exams and to have answers regarding my project when I’ll back#bye moots. I really like interacting with all of you :)) 💗#I’m leaving here Machia to look after my blog. bro better do a good job>:(#I’ve deleted the last stands of social from my phone and I’m currently blogging from my tablet(but soon it will be gone on here too).#bye Pinterest. bye YouTube#and bye tumblr for now(?)#even if I have already reduced both my online engagement and internet footprint in the past three years I always found myself attached to#the few socials that I have and until I’m not in full control I don’t want to have anything to do with any of them.#if anyone wants to ever chat I’m still on discord tho!#💗💗#ultimamente poi ho scoperto che esistono anche persone qui che condividono i miei interessi per la letteratura e l’antichità#ed è stata proprio una bella sorpresa perché non pensavo esistessero spazi online per condividere in modo divertente queste passioni#anche se da tempo cercavo un luogo del genere. dove poter semplicemente scherzare sugli uomini e donne vecchi come il mondo ai quali tengo#manco fossero mia sorella#I’m making such a scene (again)#there must be a reason as for why my friend call me drama queen constantly;)#ngl im honestly kinda excited to be totally out of touch with pop culture. idk#I just have this postive idea about it#( I have schedule a post for the 21st of September if I’m not back in time to post it lol)#byeee 🫶🫶🫶#my blog stuff
20 notes · View notes
indefiniteavatar · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
So basically, in a case about him shoving money at someone so they shut up about him. . .he can’t shut the fuck up himself. I would say something clever and funny here, except the sad part is that this is just so normal in current politics that it’s just. . .not hilariously absurd behavior anymore? Not to say that it’s not absurd - it is beyond such, but it is just. . . predictable, I suppose.
I guess this is how I feel about politics lately? Either I get mad at everything or I try to laugh at everything and normally that works because politicians usually aren’t so tragically stupid so very often, but now I just kinda have to chuckle at the particularly eyeroll worthy things like this, and try to ignore everything else or my brain will explode.
#maybe that’s my biggest pet peeve about the current state of politics#Normally I like having discussions with people#of various mindsets and lifestyles and backgrounds#while my personal standpoint about many if not most political things is pretty solid. I also enjoy finding out more about things.#It’s always nice to learn more about things.#when it gets to a point like this or let’s be real-a point like where it got a few months ago when. More like a couple years ago honestly#There’s just so much. Too much. And two try to process all of it especially in a way such that one keeps up with useful discussion? oof.#I know I meant to do something else in these tags – something more specific – but at least on mobile#I just lost like three tags because the one I was working on hit 140 but when I was warned#I didn’t get to backspace or anything. I just kind of deleted the whole thing.#And in my confusion and attempt to undo what I had done#I managed to backspace a couple times and lose the finish tag above that one#and of course my first attempt at explaining that I had lost two tags turned into three tags because#I lost the first attempts that said two tags because it went over and yet again my attempt of not backspace this time#I just lost another two tags and then at this point I don’t even remember where I was going with this train of thought either#tl;dr: I wish I could take as much amusement from this as I want to but I can’t because shit like this is just so fucking normal#but hey it’s better than January 6 or trying to nuke a hurricane so I suppose I can live with it#right so I realize that I got to read all of the things I just typed in the page before this#so I did and while I have a laughable amount of nowhere near the fuck enough spoons#there’s a very good chance I am going to come back to this when I get on my iPad or PC#There’s also a very good chance I’m going to completely forget this post exists if not the app entirely#but given that I finally downloaded this on my actual phone instead of my tablet for the first time in years#And I just lost another fucking tag#this time naturally it had to be one with Contant that I remember as semantically important#but similarly naturally of course I don’t bloody well remember#right so I am going to go back to the stuff I was doing now cause I was doing stuff before I saw a Tumblr notification#which I didn’t actually look at at the time but but I can absolutely be sure that it was a hefty part of the reason why#when I found something that I wanted to post about and a context that had a larger audience and not just individuals#didn’t have FB/Reddit (tho lbr I would probably have a 6 foot nose if I tried to imply they were great social networks)#which goes back to seeing the tumblr notif & still having a big Nostalgia so. hi here i am
0 notes
seiwas · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
₊˚⊹。 see me through the morning glow | gojo satoru
Tumblr media
wc: 1.0k summary: you and gojo have a slow morning.  contains: f!reader in mind, suggestive if you squint, food descriptions. a/n: unedited, i honestly dk what this is i just really needed to get this out of my system! this is how i cope with 236.
re-uploaded because i accidentally deleted!
Tumblr media
You slip out of bed faced with the promise of sunlight. 
The curtains in your bedroom radiate a glow that bounces off the man lying next to you; it’s soft, near-white, almost ethereal, the color of his skin, hair, and bones. His back is exposed, arm reaching out over the (now) empty space beside him—the crinkles and folds where you once were. 
You’ve always thought your bedroom had good lighting, and now you can confirm why: in the shadows, deepening the line that runs down his spine; in the highlights, guiding your eyes to the pockets of muscle behind his shoulders. 
You look away, trying your best not to stare; the only reason he’s undressed is because of a cold sweat, from the nightmares—and the very need for skin-to-skin, to ground him in your touch. 
On mornings like this, you let Gojo sleep in. 
(Because you’re lucky if he can fall back asleep again). 
It’s slow today—no work, no missions that need you or him. It’s your favorite kind of day, and Gojo’s too (once he wakes up and smells the waffles you’ve prepared, double topped with whipped cream and maple syrup—his special, of course). 
A steady stream of warmth flows through the window to your kitchen countertop, the marble glimmering as light hits. The material was his choice; you don’t care much for glamor but Gojo likes pretty things—you especially, he likes to say. 
The batter is quick to prepare, a recipe you’ve done many times before, so you ladle it into the waffle maker before letting it set on its own. Then, you grab a pan to heat up, spooning in last night’s leftover rice, some soy sauce, and mirin, adding salt to taste, as needed. A standard fried rice breakfast, with a yolk to mix in later. 
The sound of his footsteps are concealed by the sizzles of the pan in front of you, but you’re caught off guard by arms wrapped around your waist, and his chin nestling itself into your shoulder as he nuzzles you. 
He’s still shirtless, you notice, so you inch backwards in case of any oil spatter. 
“Good sleep?” you mumble, certain that he heard you. 
He hums, before whispering, lips tickling the edges of your ear on purpose, pouting, “Not anymore when you left.” 
This man—a giant baby, puffed cheeks with long limbs hunched over you. 
Your big baby. 
Despite his whines, he’s telling the truth, you know, and you feel warm because of it, affection seeping in the cracks between his arms and the kitchen stove. 
You blow on a spoonful of rice before lifting it up to his lips. Gojo’s breakfasts are always sweet, but every time you cook, he looks forward to this: waiting right behind you to be fed over your shoulder.
His review will always be the same, of course, everything you touch turns out good. 
He reaches for the waffle maker with one hand while the other keeps you close, and you plate his little breakfast for him, whipped cream with little hearts drawn in maple syrup. 
You grab a bowl for your rice and sit by the counter, Gojo sitting thigh-to-thigh beside you despite the abundance of space around you. 
You realize then, that Gojo tends to hover. 
Not necessarily in a bad way, just that, he does it all the time—always wanting to be near.  
And for someone so perceiving, practically all-seeing, he doesn’t really have to for him to know what you’re up to, but with every opportunity he has, he never misses a moment to be close to you.
When you wash the dishes by the sink, he stays beside you, shoulder-to-shoulder, even when the sink is wide enough to accommodate him a few inches farther. 
Even the walk to the bathroom has him tailing you, following your footsteps as he traces the footprints of slow mornings with you. 
Your bathroom counter has two sinks, but of course, today, he chooses to stay by yours. 
“Skincare?” you raise a tub of face mask. 
He doesn’t need it, but you love pampering him, so he nods, whatever you want. 
You struggle for a bit (he’s just too tall), so he picks you up by the waist and rests you on the bathroom counter, against the mirror.
He stays in the space between your legs, hands flat against your thighs. His thumb kneads your skin gently, and any other time, this position would end very differently, but there’s a look he’s giving you—all words without speaking. 
And—
“Quit staring,” you mumble, turning shy. You’re about to rub the product onto his cheeks, under his eyes. 
“What, I can’t look at you?” he moves closer, keeping his eyes locked on you as he rubs circles on your thighs. 
“No, you can, but,” you swallow, “you’re looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” his brows furrow. 
“Like that.” you sigh, gesturing to his face. 
“Like I love you?” 
And it is like that. Like he loves you. That’s why he says it so casually. 
Because he does. 
You stay quiet, stunned, before you clear your throat and finish up the final area on his face. 
“Yeah.” you mumble, reaching over to wash your hands on the sink. 
Gojo waits for you to finish before he takes a small towel to dry your hands with it. 
“As if you don’t know.” he scoffs, pulling you closer to the edge of the counter. 
He’s right—it’s been said before, but there’s something else in his eyes right now, shiny and devoted, as if this is all he could ever want. As if you, on this slow morning, in this too-big bathroom is all he could ever need. 
But he doesn’t say anything. At least, not what he really means. 
“Not my fault you’re so pretty today,” he adds on, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
It should be funny, that he’s telling you all this with a mask slathered all over his face, but his compliments always speak to the depths of you, even when you don’t expect them to. 
His fingers mold against your cheek, to your ears, down to the back of your head, bringing you closer until he kisses you softly, a gentle peck. 
Bits of the face mask transfer to your nose and you giggle, wiping it off. 
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say.” you joke.
Gojo smiles, that look on his face, “Good for you then, you’re the only one I see.”
Tumblr media
re-uploaded because i accidentally deleted!
comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
3K notes · View notes
nmakii · 9 months ago
Text
‘Can I ask you to do something about Alastor×reader? About y/n being a modern girl (2023-2024), and she often has strange gestures or words towards Alastor. One time she talked to him in modern language, making him confused and very curious. (You can expand the situation as you like, sorry my English is not very good)’
Tumblr media
NEW IS ALWAYS BETTER!
— alastor x modern!reader (platonic or romantic!)
— alastor calls reader “good girl” so mostly fem!coded
— I WROTE THIS AND THEN IT GOT DELETED I MIGHT KMS.
Tumblr media
alastor gets slangs that are common such as LOL, WTF, IDK but doesn’t get some that aren’t as common like LMFAO, IDRC, or WTAF since they’re just making them longer, so it’s quite useless…
he also doesn’t quite get shortcuts for words. one time you left him a note “lol brb rq imma b back in like 20 min. j gon pick smt up” most of it was honestly gibberish to him, but at the very least, he understood you’ll be back in 20 minutes.
gets really angry when you say things like “stop reaching, gooner. you’re just pissed that you’re a beta.” because; one, you’re blatantly disrespecting the radio demon and telling him to shut up. and two, he doesn’t get what any of that meant. what’s a gooner?
also gets annoyed often when you start singing songs like “i’m the alpha, i’m the leader” or “sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler” because, it’s a reflection on modern society and how music quality in modern times have plummeted significantly.
what happened to those beautiful songs such as “the man i love”? has it been replaced by this rizzler nonsense??? honestly, you’re giving alastor more and more reasons to dislike modernity… you’re lucky he finds your company enjoyable
in a desperate attempt to connect with you, he asked angel about your humor, hoping he’d understand. alastor knows that if anything, velvette would know. but, he’d rather get beaten by lucifer than ask the vees for help…
sadly for him, angel is just as confused. although, he at least knew what this alpha bullshit was, vaguely explaining furries and the alpha-beta-omegaverse to him…
you were in the hotel den, scrolling on social media as alastor walked in. “s/o, be a dear and fetch me some chicken breasts from the butcher, would you? i’d like to prepare something for tonight’s dinner.” alastor smiled
“hmm… nah. go do it yourself, furry” you giggled brattishly. “hahah… what did you call me?” alastor asked sternly, his face now close with yours, antlers increasing only slightly in size. “ah…” you stuttered.
alastor was never this mad when you said stuff like that, what was so different today? maybe he was in a bad mood? “ah… ill get it…” you conceded, using your hands to lightly push alastor away, lest he decides you’ll be for dinner…………
alastor snickered before patting you on the head. “good girl. don’t call me that again, this old dog can still learn new tricks, y’know?” he teasingly sang out. “huh?” you asked. “did you learn what a furry is?” you bit your lip, holding back your laughter.
“indeed, i did. horrifying that you’d think i would indulge in such hobbies…” he sighed, looking a little uncomfortable through his stressed smile. “what..? i don’t think you’re a furry, alastor. it’s not that deep. furry is just something that i used to laugh about with my friends back on earth.” you shallowly laughed, copying his actions by rubbing his hair.
he has to admit, that little mistranslation was a little funny looking back on it. but, he is a little disheartened that he got you scared over nothing. you were just having your fun and he got all pissed off. he’d definitely try to instead ask you about your slang as to prevent such a thing again…
459 notes · View notes
sanakiras · 2 months ago
Text
DISTRACTION
PAIRING — xu minghao x reader
Tumblr media
WORD COUNT — 1.5k
SYNOPSIS — you can’t help staring at your best friends’s hands. when he pushes you to tell him why, things in your relationship take a turn.
TAGS — minghao in a suit, explicit sexual content, pure self-indulgence, porn with no plot, fem!reader
NOTE — there’s something sooo attractive about a man having long fingers. also i just have a crush on the8. no i will not elaborate. might delete this later bc i don’t like it. oh well. enjoy :o
Tumblr media
lately, whenever being around your best friend, you’ve been... distracted.
for some reason, you’ve always liked it when men have long fingers. obviously the best known reason for that is a lewd one, but for you, it’s more than that. long fingers are hypnotizing to you.
of course it was minghao’s face that drew you in first. plump lips, eyes that could both kill and make you melt under their gaze, a strong jaw, dark hair often slicked back with a pair of sunglasses sitting on top.
then you noticed his figure. minghao is tall — long legs, long arms, long torso. what intrigued you about him was the control he has over it, alongside his flexibility. his movement is always swift, sharp and coordinated. not one to stumble over his own feet.
he became a close friend to you in no-time. within the first months of meeting him, you developed an admiration towards him, and that continued to grow into a crush you feel nothing if not insecure about.
because despite knowing him well, he’s far from an open book.
he’s not once given you the idea that he likes you the same way you like him, and now that he’s become such a good friend of yours, the last thing you’d want is to lose the friendship you’ve built with him.
so you keep it to yourself.
or, well, you try.
his current outfit makes that ridiculously hard. you’ve never seen him in a suit before.
while you weren’t all that excited for the black-tie event hosted by your faculty, just the sight of him has changed your mood like a whole day’s worth of caffeine.
and when he walks over to you, all you can do is admire him. the fabric suits his body like a glove, with several silver rings adorning his fingers and his frequently worn small hoop earrings to match them. the beautifully subtle black eye pencil brings out the colors of his eyes and styled hair.
“you look like a dream,” is the first thing to come out of his mouth when he steps before you, the tone of his voice as gentle as the smile he gives you.
heat rushes to your cheeks. “so do you. never expected to see you in a suit, but you clean up nice.”
he chuckles at your sarcasm. “thank you.”
as he tells you about — whatever it is, you honestly hardly remember a thing of the conversation — you suddenly come to the deafening conclusion that you’re nowhere near as subtle with your glances as you thought you were, which certainly bursts your bubble a bit.
“you keep doing that.” he muses, tilting his head as he looks at you with curiosity.
“what?”
“staring at my hands.”
“i’m not—i don’t stare.”
“what else would you call it? constant-looking?”
“hilarious. really.”
when you don’t say anything else, he purses his lips, hoping to get a little more out of you. you’ve got to give him credits for his determination. “so, what’s so interesting about my hands?”
with a simple shrug of your shoulders, you pretend to be casual, like he didn’t catch you staring at him. “they’re not interesting, just… nice.”
“nice?”
“can’t we just drop this? and by ‘we’ i mean you.”
he chuckles, shaking his head. “we’re friends. you can tell me, i won’t judge.”
“you? not judging anyone? that’d be almost suspicious.”
the retort makes him smile to the point it hurts his jaw. “i won’t judge you.”
a sigh rolls past your lips. “it’s no big deal, i just… like it when people have nice hands.”
“and why’s that?”
“does everything you like need to have a reason?”
"no, i guess not."
a playfulness that stirs doubt in you flashes behind his eyes, and you’re forced to put a halt to the conversation when one of your fellow faculty members walks up to the two of you with a glass of champagne, which you could not be happier with.
all you can do is hope minghao won’t bring up the topic again, the redness in your cheeks betraying you.
unfortunately, he does eventually bring it up again, once he’s gotten you home.
what his exact words were is difficult to remember, but now that he’s pushed you back onto your bed, you can’t find it in you to give a damn.
your brain feels foggy and a thin layer of sweat begins to form on your neck while he uses his hands to unbutton the white dress shirt, his impatience getting the best of him for once.
even though you’re busy pulling your top off, it’s hard to divert your gaze from his hands and chest, which brings him to tilt his head at you. “you’re staring again.”
“if you don’t want me to stare, don’t give me a reason to.”
“oh, so this whole thing is really just my fault?” he taunts, getting so annoyed with the damn buttons on his shirt not working with him that he leaves the bottom half like it already was, only the upper half of his chest peeking through.
once he lays his eyes on your half-naked form, you spot a growing desperation and impatience in his features, which is rare on him.
much to your surprise, he’s eager and quick, refusing to waste a single second. his hands have already pulled you towards him by your thighs before you can even comprehend it.
the thin silver necklace touches your warm skin when he leans down to kiss you, the last thing you’d imagined you’d be doing tonight — and it’s better than you anticipated.
he pries your legs open with a nudge of his knee, and just when you want to look down to his hand on your skin, he pushes two fingers into you, curling it upwards.
your hands immediately fly to his upper arms in response to the sudden intrusion, but it only makes you crave more.
his lips latch onto your cheeks, jaw and neck, placing wet kisses everywhere he can reach while his long fingers move in and out of you.
“just two and you’re already so tight — you can take another one, though, can’t you?”
how sweet of him to pose it as a question, an offer.
you both know damn well he’s gonna keep going either way.
minghao doesn’t know what it is about you that just utterly sets him off. it might be your constant pessimism, your snarky delivery of sarcastic little comments, the way you needlessly tease him all the time — or maybe it’s that whenever he sees you, he wants nothing more for you to get the fuck on top of him, moaning his name.
who knows.
“why don’t you just try me?” you ask rhetorically, accidentally clenching around his digits when he moves them again.
minghao chuckles, baffled that you’ve still got such an attitude, even when you’re at his mercy. he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it, though. “right. maybe i should just do that.”
a third finger prodding into your hole makes you whine the loudest you have so far. he smirks a little when noticing the way you’re fighting so hard to maintain your composure, and the noise of your squelching wetness begins to become embarrassingly loud.
but it isn’t enough for him.
usually, it’s not at all like him to be insatiable or greedy. but all he can think of right now is that he wants more — to be closer with you, deeper.
he feels his own lust in every motion, every thrust of his fingers, every twitch of his cock. it makes him wonder if he’s ever wanted something, no, someone this badly.
his next move goes unnoticed by you since you’ve got your eyes closed and head back, but then you feel it, and it’s like you snap awake, an electric jolt making you jerk forward.
when you look down, he eagerly runs his tongue up and down your pussy, fingers remaining buried inside you.
“oh my god—” you stutter out, hand clutching onto the pillow but quickly moving down to grab his hair.
lost in your own pleasure, you push his head down, the lower half of his face coated in your arousal — fuck, he wants to do this for hours.
he proceeds to curl his fingers again, and he must’ve hit a good spot, because your legs are beginning to tremble, moans shorter and higher-pitched. “fuck, hao, it’s too much, i’m too close—”
“are you?” he rhetorically asks, pushing his digits as deep as possible, sucking on your clit, hollowing his cheeks. even when you try to close your legs, he firmly keeps them open.
your hips buck into his face when you cum, knees shaking, and he presses his thumb on your pussy, which makes your eyes roll back.
propping yourself up on your elbows, you suddenly feel his fingers slowly sliding out of you, and just that feeling alone already turns you on again. he sits across from you, still between your legs, and his fingers are completely coated in the sticky wetness that’s still dripping down your cunt.
he pushes them in his mouth, licking them clean, some of your arousal remaining on his lips.
“please say you’ll let me do that again.”
Tumblr media
® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
228 notes · View notes
Note
I’m not sure if you’re into a/b/o but I think you’ve written stuff about heat in the past but if this ask is too much feel free to delete it.
I don’t know much about a/b/o myself but I’m pretty sure there’s this thing where if the omega isn’t in a good environment then their heat will like shut off or something? But imagine that with the angels of WHB. Like they’ve never had a heat before and then after Christmas and after you touch them for the first time their bodies get confused and think “oh is this a good time” and boom it’s their first heat and they need you to deal with it cause I mean it IS your fault.
Yes I love heats! Heat cycles are hot and cute!🖤🤍
Yeah so irl animals (including humans) will stop going into heat/ovulating, if they aren’t in a safe environment, they won’t have a heat/ovulate and it will continue until they are in a ‘safe’ environment!
So it makes sense since they’ve been at war for hundreds of years, they’ve never even experienced an orgasm, and given their forced to wear cock cages and their body wouldn’t understand why, their bodies assumed they simply have chosen not to ‘mate’ since the environment is unsafe. So once we open the flood gates, their unable to stop their heat cycle, they’ve never felt this kind of pleasure and frustration until they met you.
So once their heat starts, they think you can fix it since YOU started it, that’s only fair right?
-
Intro:
After Christmas the angels were returned to Heaven and exhausted, they just want to sleep. They clean themselves off thinking it’s best to just sleep and not think about it, as every time they think about it, they start getting hard and can’t ignore it…
They try their best and come morning, they are more h*rny then they’ve ever been in their entire life. Nothing is going on in their head except for wanting to find you and make you fix this!
They’d just need to isolate you…the thought of waiting sent a heavy ache between their legs.
They’d just have to go to hell and fetch you…
Tumblr media
Gabriel
Cw cock cage, heats, slight kidnapping
-
He hated this…he could barely fly, needing to stop every few minutes to catch his breath. It’s infuriating…all the more reason he needs to find you, he can’t take this! He’s struggling to walk, fly and talk! The entire time his damn dick wouldn’t stay down.
It was so hard to avoid demons too, panting and flapping your wings like a flightless bird leaves him easy to spot, which means he needs to use back streets…which leaves it harder for him to spot you…
It took hours and it was agonizing…as soon as he heard your name, he felt his cock straining and it was horrible, he hurried to the demon he heard your name from…two demons were talking to you and his heart skipped a beat realizing this was the perfect opportunity…even as his mind is foggy and all he can think about it dropping to his knees and begging you for help…
He sees Satan, looking away talking to the little red devil and decides to follow through with his first thoughts…he snuck close to you, grabbed you fast pretending to be playing with you can’t see his face, he took into the sky as fast as he could, barely holding the two of you up. The screams you let out almost has him land to check if he somehow hurt you, but seeing Satan is now looking his way, he decides to keep carrying you, he can’t risk losing you when he’s this close to having you!
He’s holding you tightly and goes higher and higher until you can’t even see the demons below. He groans as you struggle against him. “P-put me down!” You scream, while you’re struggling against him, he whines and is forced to land on what honestly looks look a floating platform, leaving you with nowhere to go.
Gabriel collapses beside you, an arm wrapped around you as he smells you, pressing himself against you with a purr. “I-I’m sorry. Y-you started this, f-fix it and I’ll return you, u-unharmed!” He moans out, rubbing against you, his cock cage snagging on his clothes leading to him undressing in front of you. You’re surprised but you imagine whatever mental state he’s in, he’s past being embarrassed.
“W-what did I start?” You ask and in response he gestures to his straining cock, the cage appearing far too tight…looking like it’s crushing his manhood, it’s dripping so much you could easily make a cup of…well angel cum. “Oh, you…got aroused and came here? I suppose Hell is more accepting of a horny angel-“
Gabriel cries out. “N-no! W-well yes but, it’s hard! It ain’t go down! It feels likes…what you did on Christmas…please just, do that again?” Gabriel pleads, looking to you hopefully, you…recognize the look, you’ve seen it in Satan…you blush and smile.
“You’re in heat, y-you…you’ve never experienced it before?” You ask curiously, you guess maybe…you awoken something in him. “I’ll help…but you’re returning me right afterwards.” You demand, the angel quickly nods, guiding your hand to the cage.
Tumblr media
Michael
Cw: cock cages, heats
-
Michael was half limping through Hell…his wings were out, trembling, he didn’t bother hiding them, any demon would recognize him why bother hiding?
He attempts to avoid being seen but doesn’t avoid a few fights trying to find you, thigh it did work in his favor when the commotion brought you, along side Mammon to him. His eyes lock on you in a instant. He abandons the fight and launches himself towards you, even in his clumsy state he avoids getting hit aside by Mammon.
By letting himself slam into you, his two other sets of wings appear a moment later and you are both airborne while he tries to adjust you in his grip like your a squirming dog. He tries to shush you, trying to figure out where he’s going to take you for this…
He ends up deciding…you’re coming with him to Heaven, he lands on a quiet area, that seems more like a side street. He collapses as soon as there’s solid ground beneath you both, he’s considerate enough to land next to you with only an arm around you so he doesn’t crush you.
He grabs you as you try to get up. “N-now…you can help me in peace.” He groans out, letting go of you to unzip his pants, letting his caged cock slip into your vision. You pause, it’s…dripping a lot…almost like he’s setting himself in front of you.
“W-wow…” You murmur, enjoying the sight, though you’ve heard enough from the demons to know clear signs of heat. “So…you’re cage…is in the way. I think taking it off will help but…” You trail off. You only got Rapheal’s off because if a Christmas miracle…
Tumblr media
Raphael
Cw: heats, spitting on a d!ck
-
He basically crash lands into Hell, he surprising shows up in the same district as you, though it’s likely because he’d had plenty of time to scent you during the kiss you two shared on Christmas. Raphael feels his body heat up at that memory.
‘I want more of that!’ He hissed to himself, he let any devils see him, he knew the more devils that see him, the odds a king would show would get higher, and with the kings there’s a chance you follow!
Not was flawed logic but he only had your phone number, not an address to look for you and he’s certain a call asking to meet up alone isn’t a good idea!
Or maybe it is but that’s awkward…
Raphael was still trying to figure up how to tell you to help him, he was so hard, it’s basically painful! Yet…it’s kinda of good, as much as he hated the constant arousal, in his own masochist way, he wanted more, but he wanted you before he was overwhelmed.
Raphael hears your voice distinctly over the screams of civilians panicking over an angel walking through the streets, he takes odd into the sky and quickly surveys the surrounding area.
He spots you fast, hiding behind one of the kings subjects, Raphael didn’t bother looking at who it could be, or even which king was after him. The King was between him, the subordinate and you. He just needed to…
Raphael snorted in frustration at the predicament and knowing the king can’t fly, he jolts out of the way, wings beating way harder than they should in his arousal driven state. Once he ‘passes’ the king he suddenly dives and swoops past the demon guarding you, when he grabs you and begins taking into the air, he can hear you panting.
He feels a little bad realizing he knocked the wind out of you from the speed he was going. He will make it up to you later, maybe, but for now he just needs you away from the pesky demons!
By the time he actually lands, you have no idea where you are, it’s like a cove by a forest edge, secluded, silent, no way to get here without flying, so you were trapped with him.
Raphael let’s go of you once he’s on solid ground, letting you stumble away from him while he slowly approaches you like you’re a scared dog. “Calm down, Descendant of Adam. If I had wanted to hurt you I would have dropped you or done worse. J-just deal with…this,” He gestures to the tent in his pants. “And we will be done, alright?”
He says with a blush trying to hide his embarrassment while hoping you will agree. You look between him, the surrounding are and his erection. His clothes aren’t helping him, showing off his body and how excited his is, though you doubt he’s practiced controlling when he gets hard, you doubt he even knows he can do that.
“And if I refuse?” You say, grinning as the angel looked shocked, almost like he didn’t consider you’d say no. “What will you do? You think I’m just gonna jerk you off everytime you get hard?” You sneer. “Do it yourself.”
Raphael’s eyes widen.
“W-wait, that pleasure you gave me…I can experience on my own??” Raphael looked so confused. He quickly undressed and threw his clothes aside. “Show me! Now!”
You laughed and blushed, much to the angels confusion, while he was flustered, naked and rock hard, you were fully clothed, blushing a bit and beyond confused. “Geez…what’s gotten into you silly?”
You playfully teased and looking up at Raphael, it hit you.
He was giving you bedroom eyes, his cock is dripping even though it’s untouched, it looks to be pulsing to the beat of his heart, giving you an idea of how aroused he was.
“Oh, you’re in heat! If…you promise to do what as I say and not hurt me, I’ll help, deal?” Raphael nodded to your rules fast. “Alright. Stay still.” You get up and walk over, waning over, you spit on his cock, earning a whorish moan. His cock bounced upwards like it was begging for more.
You grab his cock with your non dominant hand and lazily stroke his cock, he’s instantly whining, bucking his hips and moaning. He is jumping your hand quite roughly, with a mischievous grin, your free hand reaches down and light squeezes his balls and holds them there so he can’t thrust.
Raphael loudly whines, squirming as you slowly stroke his cock. “See what I’m doing? If you gently rub it like this, it’ll help your aching fade.” You say, grinning as the angel trembled in bless and overstimulation. Poor guy’s cock is sk sensitive!
211 notes · View notes
scoonsalicious · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Unwanted: Chapter 15, Undermined - Pt. 1
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, allusions to sexual situations, damning texts
Word Count: 2.5k
Previously On...: Bucky attempted to explain himself in an effort to regain your trust. You offered him an ultimatum: He cut off all contact with Jade Carthage and let you go through his messages with her on his phone.
A/N: Bucky decides to lay it all out on the line, showing Pocket all his texts with Jade.
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43 @wolfgirl21
Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc
There were hundreds of texts. Possibly thousands. You honestly had no idea he had been communicating with her this way so consistently. The first thing you did was check his deleted texts, but the folder was empty– though you doubted Bucky even knew how to delete texts, you couldn’t be positive he hadn’t picked it up somewhere. You made a mental note to yourself to hack into his phone’s data from your laptop later and check his phone records, and then hated yourself for having to resort to something so controlling. God, who was he turning you into?
The texts started innocently enough– questions about training schedules, protocols, general life in the Tower. All perfectly reasonable inquiries one would make to their new superior officer. But then came the requests– fixing her lights in her room, would he eat breakfast with her because she was so lonely? They began texting each other good morning and good night… every day.
She started calling him “sexy” and “handsome” as a way of greeting him. He never encouraged it, or reciprocated, but he never shut it down or told her it was inappropriate, either. 
Then, there was the evening after the Central Park fiasco.
Vix: It was really mean of you to make me walk all the way back to the Tower by myself, you know.
>> I know. I’m sorry. I just needed to talk to Pocket alone.
Vix: I could have been assaulted or kidnapped!
>> lol You’re a super soldier. You could wipe the floor with anyone who tried.
Vix: Aww, thanks Jamie <3
Vix: Did your girlfriend get over her temper tantrum?
>> She had a right to be upset. It was shit of me to forget about her like that.
Vix: What is she? A golden retriever?
>> lol
Vix: She was alone for, like, five minutes. She’ll survive. 
Vix: If you ask me, she was just looking for an excuse to be mad at you.
Vix: She obviously doesn’t trust you, which is so hypocritical.
>> What do you mean?
Vix: Come on, Jamie. You don’t really buy her whole bullshit story about her ‘friendship’ with Stark, do you?
Vix: I don’t care how rich he is. *No one* shells out that kind of money for someone’s education without expecting something in return. She obviously fucked him. 
>> She told me it wasn’t like that.
Vix: Don’t tell me you believe her! I know you’re not stupid.
>> Yeah, well of course I wondered.
“What the fuck, Bucky?” you asked, your voice rising as you stood up to face him. “Uh, which part?” he asked sheepishly.
“There’s more than one part that would have me asking ‘what the fuck’?” you asked, disgusted. Bucky just kind of shrugged his shoulders. “You seriously think I slept with Tony?!” “Oh, that!” Bucky looked relieved, and that concerned you, because if he was relieved that that was what you were upset about, what the hell else was in those texts? “I wondered about it when you first told me he paid for your school,” he said. “Back before we were really friends. But you said that you didn’t, and I believe you. I’ve always believed you.”
“Well, your text to Carthage sure makes it sound like you don’t believe me,” you argued. “Like you’re still wondering.”
“That wasn’t my intention,” he said softly.
“Yeah, well, and I say this with all the lack of respect it deserves,” you snapped, “your intentions are shit.”
Bucky looked down at the floor, no longer meeting your gaze. “Fuck,” you said, “I don’t even know if I want to read the rest of these,” you told him. “If that was something ‘well intentioned’ but there’s still things you expect me to get upset about.”
“No,” said Bucky, looking back at you now, “please– I want you to read them. I don’t want to have any more secrets from you.”
You sighed and sat back down. “I’m not even going to touch on you laughing about her calling me a literal dog,” you said as you picked up the phone and started reading again.
There were several selfies from Jade to Bucky of her in various skimpy outfits, asking for his opinion. Completely inappropriate, in your opinion, but Bucky would just respond with the thumbs up emoji, or occasionally “nice,” or “pretty.” 
What really got to you, though, were the late night texts. You noticed some of the timestamps on Bucky’s end were from hours after you would have fallen asleep. The idea of him texting her in the middle of the night, in the dark, while lying next to your sleeping body repulsed you, and you had to suppress a shudder.
What was worse was the context of them– it wasn’t anything salacious or sexual, no– it was his vulnerability. His personal thoughts and feelings, memories of his past and descriptions of his nightmares that he refused to share with you, telling you they were too dark, or that he couldn’t remember them. Even now, you skimmed over what he had written without really reading them, knowing that he hadn’t wanted you to be privy to those parts of him. It broke your heart to see him being so open with her, so lacking in defenses, when you had literally been right there, yet he’d kept you at arm’s length, all without you knowing it.
Vix: What did you tell her about the sparring match?
>> The truth. It was just an intense practice session.
Vix: So you didn’t mention your hard-on, then? >> That was just a physical reaction. The adrenaline from the fight. It had nothing to do with you.
Vix: lol Keep telling yourself that, Jamie.
>> Vix. Vix: Relax, I’m just teasing xoxo
>> Yeah, I know.
Your hands were shaking. “I fucking knew it,” you seethed. 
“Knew what?” Bucky looked like a deer trapped in headlights. 
“That fucking sparring match,” you said through clenched teeth, your eyes beginning to water. “I fucking knew there was something sexual going on between you two, and you lied to my god damned face! And then, what? You fucked me with the erection she gave you? God, I knew you looked guilty. I could see it in your fucking eyes!”
“Okay, yes, but no!” Bucky said. “Yeah, I felt guilty because I got hard during the fight, and I was worried you saw it, but it really didn’t have anything to do with her! It’s… it’s a thing that happens to me, sometimes. Doesn’t matter who I’m fighting with. It’s, uh, happened when I’ve sparred with Steve– ” You shot him a look, skeptical. “I swear; you can ask him!” he continued. “It… look, I’m pretty sure it’s a hold out from the… things… Hydra did to me. When they were turning me into the Winter Soldier. The details are hazy, the memories aren’t all there, but… I have… flashes… how they used to, uh, stimulate me, to get me to do what they wanted me to do.”
You looked at him, waiting for more details, but he didn’t offer them. He obviously still didn’t trust you with those parts of himself, even now. “But, I swear to you– as soon as I saw that look on your face, it was gone. I felt awful, knowing what you would think if you’d noticed. That killed it, instantly. When we were together, later, that was all because of you. It was all for you.” He took in your expression. “You don’t believe me.”
“Seems to be a pretty convenient excuse, don’t you think?” you asked. You felt like a bitch, on the off chance he was telling you the truth, if his erection had been based on the conditioning of decades of sexual abuse on top of the physical and psychological trauma he had endured, but he’d eroded your trust so thoroughly, you couldn’t help but doubt.
“You think I’d lie to you about something Hydra did to me?” he asked you, hurt. “Something like that?” You could hear the unanswered question in his voice: Something horrible we’ve both been through?
You shrugged, knowing you were being cruel. “How should I know? I’m not the one you’ve been sharing your secrets with, so I don’t know what’s the truth and what’s another lie.”
Bucky grimaced, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You, of all people, knew how shameful discussing sexual abuse could make one feel, but you’d always been honest and open with him about what had happened to you, because you had trusted him. It was hurtful to know he’d been through something similar and hadn’t afforded you the same trust in return, even though you knew you had no right to demand it of him. But he had given it so freely to her.
You went back to the texts, hoping you had read the worst, but dreading there was still more to come.
He told her about your fights. That was difficult to read, knowing that he had made her privy to the lowest points in your private relationship, and how she must have been eating it up. >> I just don’t know what more she wants from me. 
>> What more she expects me to do.
>> One minute she’s furious with me, and the next minute, she’s saying she doesn’t care.
Vix: She’s messing with you. Fucking with your emotions to show she can control you.
Vix: Why do you keep putting up with this?
>> I don’t know. Sometimes I
Vix: ???
>> Nevermind.
Vix: What, Jamie? You can tell me anything. I’m here for you.
>> Sometimes I just wish she was maybe a little more like you. More understanding.
You stared down at the screen, unable to move.
“Pocket?” Bucky asked, noticing you hadn’t scrolled in a few minutes.
“You don’t know why you keep putting up with me?” you asked him, voice barely above a whisper. “You wish I was more like her?” 
“I was upset,” he said, crouching down in front of you. “That was the night before she went to Malaysia, after I left our room, but before I got her to go to Gino’s. When I could tell you were pulling away, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t really mean it; it was just venting because you had me so confused.”
You stared off into the middle distance as Bucky tried to make eye contact with you, unable to look at him. “I feel like there’s this whole entire side of you you’ve been hiding from me,” you said, speaking to and through him simultaneously. “I don’t know this version of you, at all. And I don’t think I want to.”
“Doll,” Bucky grasped your hands, desperation entering his voice, but you didn’t have the energy to pull away. “Those texts aren’t me. You know me. You know my heart.”
You met his eyes then, the look you gave him full of loss, betrayal, and heartache. “I don’t think I do.”
Bucky’s face cracked; you’d never seen him look so defeated. He took the phone from you and scrolled to the very bottom of the text thread, to the most recent exchange the two had had, from the night of her ‘panic attack.’ Wordlessly, he handed the phone back to you.
Vix: Please, Jamie. I could treat you so much better than she can.
>> I told you, Vix. I’m not going to leave her. I love her.
Vix: But all you do is fight. I can hear you from my room, you know. I know you’re not happy.
>> We fight because of *you*. Please don’t make this difficult. I don’t want to ask Steve to reassign you for training.
Vix: Please don’t do that! I just want to be with you. I could make you so happy.
>> *She* makes me happy. She’s all I want. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, but it’s how I feel. I’m never gonna love anyone the way I love Pocket. That’s just the way it is.
Vix: You can’t deny there’s something between us!
Vix: I know you feel it!
Vix: We could keep it a secret. She doesn’t need to know.
Vix: You could have both of us.
>> Stop. I don’t want you. And to be honest, I’m disgusted you’d even suggest I cheat on the love of my life.
Vix: You don’t mean that!
>> I do. You need to accept it.
His last message was followed by a barrage of texts from Jade, begging him to respond to her, but he hadn’t. You supposed, in a way, that should make you feel better, but you were so emotionally exhausted, you couldn’t feel much of anything. All you knew was that you should have never read those messages.
“This… this is a lot to process,” you finally said, looking at Bucky. “I don’t really know what to do here.”
Bucky frantically tapped at his phone screen. “Block her number,” he said. “If cuttin’ her out’s what it’s going to take for me to start rebuilding your trust, then I’ll gladly do it. Pozhaluysta, Pocket.” Please, Pocket.
Mechanically, you went through the motions of blocking Jade’s number from Bucky’s phone. “I… don’t know if this is going to be enough, Bucky,” you told him, handing it back. “Those things I read just now… They’re honestly making me question everything. Our entire history.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said, putting his forehead to yours. “If this is just step one, then it’s step one. I’ll take however many steps you ask me to until I make this right.”
“You’ve gotta be one hundred percent on this, Buck,” you said. “Because if you’re not, if I find out that you couldn’t keep this promise to me, there’s no coming back. You’ll be the one who’s so iced out, it’ll make Siberia feel downright tropical.”
Bucky grinned slightly. “I’m positive, sweets,” he said, putting a hand on top of yours. “You’re all I want, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if I have to.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him. It was just that, well, you didn’t fucking trust him. “FRIDAY?” you called.
“Yes, Ms. (Y/L/N)?”
“Please alert me any and every time Sergeant Barnes and Ms. Carthage have an interaction in the Tower going forward. I request audio and video footage be sent to me immediately should they cross paths.”
“Yes, Ms. (Y/L/N). For clarification, do you want alerts for physical, audio, or digital interactions to be sent to you?”
“All of it, FRIDAY,” you said, watching Bucky very carefully for any sign of discomfort or uneasiness over your course of action, but you saw none. “And do not allow an override without my express verbal consent and company password.”
The AI agreed and promised to alert you if any such interaction occurred.
“That was very thorough,” Bucky said, sounding somewhat petulant. “You really had to cover all the bases, didn’t you?”
“Well, I had to have someone I trust keeping an eye out on things,” you said pointedly. Bucky flinched, the expression on his face faltering.
“I am going to make this right, doll. I swear to you.”
“I’m tired of you telling me, Buck,” you said, really needing to drive your point home. “It's your last chance to actually grow up and start showing me.” 
<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->
231 notes · View notes
lightlycareless · 2 months ago
Note
I’m sorry if this is a weird question. It’s totally cool if you just delete this if it is but when faced with another guy bothering Y/N, would he be the type to punch a guy out, intimidate them, or talk out of it(y’know that suave way of staking claim so to speak) :3
Hello anon!!!
Ah yes, the ask I thought I hallucinated by some strange reason 🤣 like, I believed I already posted the answer to this but I didn't???
Either way, this gave me the perfect opportunity to do a bit of angst :) a little "Naoya and Y/N realize being together isn't all rainbows"
warnings: highschool au, kind of. slight mentions of violence. you really worry for naoya. he has yet a lot to learn about being a good boyfriend. it's the early stages of the relationship.
Enjoy!
Tumblr media
Honestly, this moment… is something everyone around you awaited.
I mean, Naoya is brash, stubborn, rude, selfish, nobody gets along with him, doesn't have that many friends, so on and so forth.
Thus, it was only natural that he'd eventually rub someone the wrong way…
Or be rubbed the wrong way.
Your boyfriend, as stated, was a threat by himself, but when you were added into the mix, it's like all his foul traits doubled. Not to you, of course not, never to the only other person he considered worthy of him.
But towards those foolish enough to think they still had a chance with you after making his claim. To defy the heir of the Zen'in is to have a death wish—wasn’t that common knowledge by now?!
Yet, to those ignorant of this fact, he is nothing but patient enough to remind.
“—Naoya!”
It happened all so quickly. One moment you were being pestered by a faceless student, insisting you’d leave your boyfriend for someone better, a bit more grounded, implying himself to be that person…
And the other, you were crying, heart thundering and hands trembling as the horrifying sight of Naoya beating that same guy unfolded before you.
The fight did not go without retaliation of course, your instigator never intending to take your boyfriend’s punches without retaliation, which lead you to shriek when a particular sharp blow landed against Naoya’s left side of his face, prompting you to run to their side and do all in your power to separate them—
To no avail.
“Stop it, Naoya!” You cried, helplessly trying to get them away from one another; but you never could compare to his strength. Less when he was determined to continue so. “Please! St—stop! You're— you're going to— you’re going to kill him!”
“What is going on??” Nanami exclaims. It wasn't his intention to get near the commotion, always one to avoid trouble whenever possible, but upon hearing your frightened voice, he ran as fast as possible to your aid. “Y/N!”
“Ken—Kento—! You— You have to stop them!” You wailed, frantically tugging at this arm and evoking a sense of urgency. “They're going to—they’re going to kill each other if you don’t!”
The ones that ultimately manage to separate the two are Suguru and Satoru, just before the teachers stepped in, but not enough to prevent them from being reprimanded by them, taking them to the principal’s office to discuss their rightful punishment—regardless of who provoked who.
“After my family sues you, you're fucking dead!”
“Ha! Do you not know who I am?! I'd like to see you try!” Naoya guffaws.
“Stop it already!” Yaga exclaimed “You're already knees deep in trouble, the last thing you both need is to be expelled!”
Ultimately, the threat of being away from you is enough to keep Naoya willing. One would think that he'd worry more about his family and the issue this small disturbance would bring, but truth is that he's gotten out of worse predicaments: him getting into an altercation with a nobody is not something that would prevent the elders, or him, from sleeping.
Though your prolonged silence, the cold judgment imposed by your piercing eyes, and the subtle annoyance displayed in your touch would; feeling tiny for the first time in his life before you, even when you were so attentively tending to his wounds once dismissed.
“Why are you so quiet, princess? Don’t tell me I scared ya’?” Naoya begins, cutting through the awkward silence settling between the two with a teasing tone he hopes would make light of the situation—make you forget of the blood curling screams you let out when he was entangled with that irrelevant kid who’d more likely disappear tomorrow, and move on…
But oh, how wrong he’d be to choose that path. Make fun of your poor heart.
“What? Thought I wouldn’t win? You know me better than—”
“Is this what it is to you? A joke?” You sternly state, stopping tending his wounds and subsequently quieting Naoya up.
“A joke?” Naoya repeats. “A joke would be him thinking he could win against—"
“Seriously, Naoya?! Is that all you have to say?!” You cry, beginning to crack. “Why must you always take it a competitive thing??”
“Ah, so what was I supposed to do? Let him beat me??” Naoya countered.
“There you go again, taking my words out of context! I didn’t even say that!” you whined.
“Well, it’s not like you’ve given me much to work on, princess.” He scowls. “Why are you even so angry? If anything, I should be the one upset because I got hurt for you, and this is the thanks I get!”
“Oh, so it’s my fault now?!” you gasp, offended as tears began to form in the corners of your eyes. “Was I the one that wanted this—this fight to happen? Did I tell you I wanted to see you get hurt?!”
“It’s kind of expected, don’t you think?” He states, making your eyes go wide. “We’re sorcerers, we’re bound to get hurt—if you didn’t want that then maybe you should’ve considered a different career—
Or a different boyfriend.”
“Is that—is that what you’re going to go with?” you firmly ask, as if giving him one last time to reconsider his words…
Which he did after you set aside the first aid kit, standing up with all intentions of leaving the room that he realized how gravely he’d messed up, quicky to grab your arm and pull you back to him; and though the wounds of his fight made it hurt, more so since you struggled against him, he did not relent.
“Wait, Y/N, please—That came out wrong, I didn’t mean—”
“And what did you mean, Naoya?” you say, with a trembling voice that made his heart sting even more. He’s just gotten out of one altercation to walk right into another one—how delightful. “If it isn’t to mock me for worrying?!”
“No, I wasn’t.” Naoya says, tightening his hold on you, as much as he could anyways. He just… he just didn’t want you to leave, not like this. Not when he needed you the most. “I would never!”
You don’t respond, there wasn’t much to say when his words didn’t match his actions.
“…I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“But you did.” You responded, and now he was able to hear the tears that had begun to slide down your cheeks. “You… you got into that awful fight instead of letting him go and almost got yourself expelled—no, worse! Killed!”
“But it didn’t happen, you know? You… you called for help, and we stopped!”
“Because you wouldn’t listen!” You wept, turning around and taking a good look at his face. Naoya wishes you hadn’t, however, because seeing you cry just broke his heart into a million pieces. “Neither of you!”
“Y/N—”
“You were like… like an animal out there.” You added. “Nothing seemed to snap you out of trance, and I—I got so scared—!”
“I didn’t mean to scare you either.”
“Does it even matter? You said so yourself, this is what sorcerers are supposed to do.”
“No, you know what I meant—”
“No. I don’t. I really don’t know what you meant.”
“I did this to protect you.” Naoya quietly adds. “I just… got so angry seeing you being bothered by that idiot, that I… I needed to do something. I needed to get him away from you!”
“…Why can’t you understand this isn’t what I wanted?” You sniffle. “I didn’t want you to get hurt, no matter the reason why.”
“I know, I know you didn’t—”
“Then… why did you do it? What made you so angry, enough to beat him up and risk your career?”
The thought of being undeserving of you. Naoya concluded. Because his words had unwittingly struck a nerve, a thought he’s tried his hardest to push deep within the confines of his mind, but until he makes amends with himself, he’ll never be able to escape that fear.
The notion that perhaps there is someone better out there for you… and that person isn’t himself.
And after the way he’s made you cry, such bitter tears… perhaps that was the truth.
“I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want.” Naoya quietly concludes, making your eyes widen once more. “So I will never hurt you again.”
“Naoya, that’s—that’s not what I want!” you gasp, heart clenching at the prospect of him leaving you. “Not at all!”
“What good of a boyfriend could I be if I all I do ends up hurting you?”
“And you think that leaving me wouldn’t do just that??” you fret. “That living a life without you won’t make me miserable?!”
“It seems I already do…”
“N—No! I don’t—I don’t want that! I—I can’t allow it!” you sob, immediately wrapping your arms around him. “I just got you… I don’t want to lo—lose you…!”
Now with tears in his eyes, Naoya tightly embraces you, pulling you as close as possible as he reassures your fears away.
“Princess…” Naoya breathes, cupping your face and making you look to him. “It’ll take a whole lot for me to ever leave you. Probably the end of the world—but you’ll never lose me, ever.”
“You don’t—you don’t know how awful it felt to not be able to do anything!” you confess. “I… I tried to get him off you but I—I couldn’t do it—I couldn’t protect you!”
“No, no, Y/N—That’s my job. I’m supposed to protect you, not the other way around.”
“But you—what about you? What if you need me? What am I supposed to do?”
“Leave all the heavy lifting to me, and you…” Naoya smiles, intertwining his hands with yours. “You can patch me up after, eh? Heal me up.”
“Nao—Naoya.” You sniffle, lips trembling as tears continued to flood your face. “Promise me you—promise me you’ll always be careful… please.”
“I promise.” He says, taking your hands to his lips and gently kissing your knuckles. “Though I doubt someone as talented as me might need to make such promises—it’s a given.”
“Don’t be silly…” you murmur, he chuckles. “As long as you’re a sorcerer, I’ll always worry…”
“Good thing I have my mochi to take care of me, hm? Have me in her thoughts while I’m away.” Naoya smiles.
“You better not come back too roughed up, then. Or I—Or I won’t be able to help much…”
“Not that I need much, your kisses are sufficient enough to make me feel much—ah, shit, princess?!” Naoya gasps, startled by the stinging sensation of the alcohol-soaked cotton pressed against his skin. “Should’ve given me a warning, at least!”
“I thought you only needed my kisses?” You gently tease, he frowns. “Sorry, I just needed to clean you up before you do anything else, you started bleeding again.”
“…Fine, I guess.” Naoya pouts, hissing whenever feeling the alcohol against his wounds.
“What will happen with… him, by the way?”
“I don’t know, he’s getting expelled I guess.” Naoya shrugs. “I’ll make it happen if not.”
“Naoya…”
“What? He was bothering you—think I’m going to let that slide? No one annoys my princess outside of me.”
“… Thank you, for protecting me, really.” You eventually murmur, putting away everything once done. You then lean forward, placing a chaste kiss over his lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too, little mochi.” Naoya smiles, kissing you once more. “My sweet damsel in distress, are you going to nurse me until I’m all better?”
“Don’t call me that—and do I have another choice?”
He snickers. “I guess not, but you wouldn’t want it any other way, would you?”
You smile.
“No, I guess not.”
“I wouldn’t mind if you dressed up as a nurse too, you know? Heard it helps for a faster recovery.”
“Don’t push it…
here, at least.”
Naoya smirks. Maybe he should get a bit roughed up once in a while.
Tumblr media
Yes he'd beat up someone for you, naturally. let's not forget his go-to solution in grave situations is killing someone lol.
Anyways, I hope you liked this little something!! It's kind of refreshing to write the Naoya that has yet to learn how to approach you; like, I know I tend to write him perfect in certain aspects, but he was once a... brat, I guess haha. He doesn't know how to treat people, less the one he loves! We're bound to see more of this flawed Naoya very early in the relationship and I LOVE IT hehehe. I wonder what other stumbles I can write...?
Now, take care and hope to see you soon!!
63 notes · View notes
lowkeyremi · 2 months ago
Text
BLOCKED ! (Prologue)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: bakugo x fem!reader note: A series I might not abandon? Wow!! Real talk I think I’ll be able to finish this since it’s a smau series. There will be fic parts in between too. content: strangers to lovers, high school au (does not follow mha canon though), slow burn bc i said so (will probably add more in the future) wc: 500 Masterlist
Summary: As a student of class 1-B, the first time you really saw Bakugo Katsuki was at the sports festival. That’s when you decided you would pursue him. It’s not easy though, because he absolutely hates you.
Tumblr media
Even though you’re all sitting in the cafeteria, you choose to text your new class 1-A friends instead of eat with them. Mostly because you’re intimidated by your own class’s opinions of 1-A.
Monoma swears up and down that class 1-A is shady and that they’re sworn enemies, but you and Kendo just think he’s delusional. There was one member of that class that had your class talking about him, very few praising him, most were talking shit about him.
And it was Bakugo Katsuki. The very same one who was chained to the podium in first place, because he refused his medal. You weren’t given the specifics, but you know it has something to do with that half and half guy. His name was— Todo… something.
Anyways, as you’re texting some of class 1-A’s students Monoma sets his tray down on the table next to yours and Kendo’s.
“I really don’t understand what you see in that blond haired narcissist.”
“You guys could be twins,” both you and Kendo say at the same time.
“Jinx!” You two once again say at the same time.
Since it’s unclear who said jinx first, the two of you turn to Monoma for settlement.
“[name] said it first. AND I AM NOTHING LIKE HIM!” Choosing to ignore his outburst you pump your fist in the air.
“Yes! I win!”
Tumblr media
“Have you even texted him yet?” Kendo walks alongside of you in the hallway.
“Nope! I don’t even know what to say to him, honestly.” Upon hearing your confession she shakes her head. Her ginger ponytail swings as she does so.
“How about ‘hi’ and introduce yourself?” You click your tongue, which is followed up by a sigh,
“That’s too basic. I need to do something more.” She shrugs and starts to speed up. It turns out to be for good reason, because class is about to start in three minutes.
“Well, whatever you say, I’m out of ideas then.” You’ll come up with something, it might take awhile, but you will.
Tumblr media
‘hey bakugo this is|’
Unfortunately this is the twenty-third text you’ve crafted only to hate it more than the last one. Why is this so hard? You’ve never had trouble texting anymore before, but this is different.
This one text can determine you relationship with Bakugo going forward.
You quickly delete the words on your screen. Since nothing is coming to you, your phone is gently set on your bed.
Almost a whole five minutes later you pick up your phone without thinking. Your hands start to type this short but affective message,
‘hi is this bakugo?’
This is perfect, because now he’ll have to answer the text. Either to confirm that he is who you’ve asked he is or to ask who you are. It would be a little weird if you just texted him like you knew him, so this approach is more respectful.
You quickly hit send and go through the whole ‘text, turn your phone off, and throw it somewhere while you wait.’
Now all you have to do is wait for an answer. Little did you know you wouldn’t be getting one too soon.
Tumblr media
©𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐊𝐄𝐘𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈 All works are written by me! Please do not copy, translate, or upload onto other sites without my permission, thanks!
82 notes · View notes
wanderingaldecaldo · 3 months ago
Text
An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular
It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.
Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.
I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 
No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.
I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.
Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.
The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 
I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 
Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!
The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.
The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.
I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.
I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 
Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!
Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?
None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]
By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.
The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷
My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 
It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.
Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.
The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:
PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...
The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 
The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.
Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.
The full context of my words: 
Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you
PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.
The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 
The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 
You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.
The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 
If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.
Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 
A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash
I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.
Tumblr media
Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)
I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.
As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.
I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.
Tumblr media
The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working
I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 
At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.
Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.
As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.
I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.
Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.
That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.
Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:
Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest
April - I get stuck, stop working on it
April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework
June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest
In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option
In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it
June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working
PKD releases the pecs
I share vanilla for testing
I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June
I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.
I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.
PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.
67 notes · View notes
winnienora14 · 4 months ago
Text
Okay so there’s been a whole debate going on about how Remus is characterized so here is my take on the matter
I personally hate the whole Casanova of Gryffindor tower thing. Remus is constantly terrified of being found out. He doesn’t want any one paying attention to him so he’s quiet and reserved. He spent his entire childhood locked away (I believe he was homeschooled)because his dad was ashamed of him and his mom was scared for him. Not being accustomed to social interactions at a young age definitely made him extremely socially awkward. So in my opinion, there is just no way he is the smooth flirt some have described him to be.
I also don’t like the super soft Remus. He is angry, ashamed and frustrated. He feels like the whole world is against him. But we still have to balance both out. He does not make scenes to express his anger, he just lets it boil inside.
Honestly if I had to describe him, I’d say he’s kind to those who deserve it (he’s not the kind of person who believes everyone deserves kindness ). His humor is self deprecation, sarcasm and being mean (he’s actually really funny). Humor is kind of an armor for him. It helps him threw hard times.
He is extremely anxious/paranoid. He doesn’t talk much but he’s not extremely quiet. He’s an incredible listener. Since he’s so paranoid, he’s always surveying how people look at him, their behavior... So he’s extremely observant. He knows most things before others do. He’s hard working because his father finds that important and he’s desperate to make him proud. He’s extremely empathetic because that’s a value his mother holds dear.
He doesn’t like school. He’s a queer man in the closet in the 70´s, a halfblood and a werewolf. School is basically hell for him. He gets more than okay grades but he’s not a prodigy and he doesn’t try to be. He only does the work because he doesn’t want to be called out by the teacher for getting a bad grade. Otherwise, he wouldn’t do the work at all. He loves reading because he can relate to certain characters and escape reality.
He has this ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude when he’s talking to strangers his age. If they are older though, he is remarkably polite. He is respectful towards his teachers and or any figure of authority. He doesn’t break rules because he’s scared of being called out by teachers,so he helped the marauders plan the pranks but he wasn’t the one to make them come to life.
He tends to take the easiest course of action even when it’s not necessarily the good one. He’s curious and he loves to learn. He absolutely despises change. He is a control freak but most of all he’s a perfectionist. He always feels like he has to compensate for his lycanthropy by being perfect at everything. He’s an amazing friend: caring and always ready to listen and help.
The best way to make him really really mad is to show him pity. He’s a raging pessimist. He gets angry rather easily and he as trouble controlling that anger. He makes fun of things like influencers and fashion. He refuses to go to the gym, plan his outfits or have a skincare. He never gets into fights because he thinks they’re stupid. He’s uncomfortable in group settings.He is easily annoyed.
This is way too long for no reason but I put too much effort into this to just delete it. So yeah… enjoy I guess.
66 notes · View notes
wayfayrr · 11 months ago
Text
By your side from day one <3
finally set aside some time to finish off wilds turn for being self aware, the smartest one who found a way to get out without breaking your tv and getting the glass shards of screen everywhere. I'll be back on requests and such soon though!! <3
[masterlist]
Tumblr media
“Come on [name], you can’t be serious about missing out on plans just to talk to someone you don’t even know is real.”
“You say like I would want to go clubbing tonight either way, besides he’s said he’s just been working up the courage to video call.”
“And you trust that?”
They’ve got enough of a conscious to look a bit ashamed when I look at them, I know they’re worried for me but of all the things to be so worked up about this seems harmless. 
“What if I told you that he was messaging me and telling me to stop talking to you.”
“Can you show me the proof.”
“Well… no. he deleted them immediately afterwards.”
Are they just jealous? This is so unlike them that it’s offputting. I know they can get a little worked up when I get close to other people but accusing my online friend - accusing wild - of threatening them? It’s petty and childish. Are they afraid I’ll replace them or something? 
“Okay, alright. This isn’t going to make me cut him off you know?”
“[name]...”
“Reach out when you don’t feel like senselessly trying to cut me off from others. I’ll see you around.”
Hopefully, it’s sooner rather than later, but if they don’t? It’s their own fault they thought they would need to sabotage my other relationships to get closer to me. They even have the audacity to call out after me as I’m leaving, still trying to warn me about him, like they can’t accept I would dare get close to anyone else. Not like it doesn’t feel awful potentially losing a friend like this, but what can I really do?
The trip home seems to pass in a blur, until I’m already collapsed onto my couch with a familiar notif going off on my phone. Opening it proves it is exactly what I expected it to be, a message from him, asking me how my day has gone showing me more care than nearly every other person in my life ever has. Not expecting me to drop everything on a dime for him, even if recently he’s been getting more possessive in his messages like he wants to be serious when I’ve never seen his face. 
- I’ve been decent, met up with a friend. Not much really, you? - 
- Had to do chores for someone I don’t like >:( wanna get away from everything tbh - 
- why not just up and leave? - 
- I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been planning something - 
Seems like the possessive streak has worn off now then, so I don’t have to worry about mentioning friends again. There isn’t even a reason he should be possessive of me though, unless he’s got a secret crush or something. Which I hope he doesn’t, he’s been speaking to me for barely a couple of weeks. 
- You free to call tonight? It’s been a while. - 
- I’m good rn if you are. I’ll just grab my headphones - one sec - 
- :DD perf perf - 
Honestly a call will be nice, I can just zone out for a bit, play some games and chat. It’s the perfect way to destress after everything that happened earlier, I still can’t believe they threw away our friendship over something so small. Maybe I should just block their number and drop them even if they do try and apologise, I don’t really need people like that in my life. 
“So then love, any plans for tonight?”
“I thought you said you were gonna drop calling me that?”
“It’s silly and you didn’t answer my question anyway.”
“Nah not really. I’m just loading up breath of the wild, been a bit since I’ve -”
“Oh shit.”
Has wild been link this whole time, wait - how did he get access to the internet, HOW IS HE SENTIENT?  
He’s just sitting in his hateno house, holding the sheikah slate like a phone and silently, through the switch anyway, talking. The look of horror on his face is gut-wrenching though.
“You - you…”
“Oh - uh - I mean. Come on love it’s not that bad is it? I - I’m not going to hurt you, I swear.”
“I don’t think I want to deal with this right now… I’m sorry I just.”
The look of horror and shame shifted terrifyingly fast when he noticed me moving to turn off the switch, replacing itself with fear and anger before he steeled himself, and presses his hand against the slate’s screen?
He - he’s reached through my phone to grab onto my wrist. 
“No, don’t turn me off, I can’t go back to being just a voice. Please”
“How… how are you DOING THIS?”
“That… Isn’t what matters right now.”
His grip feels so nervous, he looks it too - which makes sense, I would probably be petrified if I lost my body just because I was trapped in a game. I can’t turn him off that would be cruel… he deserves better than that. 
It instantly lightened as I moved to sit back down, a sigh of relief echoing through both my tv speakers and my phone, as he let go the second I sat with his hand retreating through my unbroken phone. 
“Okay, you promise you won’t try to turn me off?”
“I won’t if you’ll explain.”
“That - that’s fair, I can do that for you love and - if I told you that I think I’ve figured out a way to get out? Would you let me live with you?”
“So that’s why you were so forward abou- yes you can. When you’ve explained everything. And made it certain you’re not planning to kill me because you’re scared of me sending you back.”
The reverb’s stopped now, which makes talking a lot more pleasant and less like he’s trying to intimidate me now, not that I blame him for it if I was about to condemn him back to that hellscape. I just, I really hope he isn’t trying to get out just to kill me, I don’t think I would ever be able to get over my childhood crush wanting to kill me even if he has every right to want that.
“What- No no I don’t - why - why would you think I would ever want to even hurt you let alone KILL. I - love I. I love you. That’s why I’m doing all of this - I - I.”
He’s crying. I should’ve known that he wouldn’t do anything like that - it’s within his right to - but he’s link, he’s the hero, the protagonist who was stuck to my side through it all. I know I shouldn’t have said that it wasn’t meant to be cruel but it was careless enough to hurt him. 
“I’m sorry, I came on to strong, you - you have every right to be scared of me. I promise though love I - I will never hurt you ever.”
“I know… I just panicked. You can explain now I won’t overreact again I swear. Or if you’d prefer -”
“If I would prefer..?”
“Why not get out first, then explain?”
Lighting up a firework in my face would have been less blinding than his smile in that moment, it’s such a sweet smile - a genuine one too. Meaning that I said the right thing, that I’m doing the right thing by giving him this chance. 
Hopefully, I won’t regret it.
“Really? You’ll let me do that?”
“I think it’s a good idea, it’ll be easier to talk to you as well. Just - how are you going to go this?”
“Um, oh, well uh, I think I could possibly make your switch into a mock version of a warp medallion? Then link my slate to it and just well”
“That makes sense, you can go ahead then, shouldn’t take long right?”
“No, no it won’t.”
A couple of seconds was all the wait it needed for him to stumble out of the blue lights and right onto me, clearly disorientated by the shift into reality. Probably not as bad as any of the 2d links would have struggled to be fair to him. It was an even shorter wait for him to jump onto me and cling even tighter than a koala could ever hope to, nuzzling up against my neck like it’s the only - because - it’s the only real touch he’s ever felt. 
“So you want to explain then?”
“Could we wait? That took much more effort than I thought. I just want to rest a bit if that’s alright.”
“As soon as you’re rested enough to. You going to sleep for a bit then?”
“No I still want to talk, just about something less taxing?”
Seems like he’s more dodging the topic than anything, which is fine I can get him to talk about it later, there really isn’t a rush for anything. It’s fine. Besides he’s like an excited kid that’s staying up way past his bedtime right now, where’s the harm in staying like this for a bit?
“Mind if I ask why you’re so determined to call me ‘love’ then?” 
“Because you’re everything to me, my light, my love, my life - you’ve been with me through everything. From when I woke to killing ganon and you didn’t abandon me there. You’ve shown me your favourite cities, stuck with me when you had the choice to choose others because you said I am you favourite, so really? How could I not love you?”
“You were aware even in Mariokart?” 
His giggle is sweet, he’s so charming right now, especially with how unaware of it he is. It’s so earnest and unfiltered, just so raw, I could go the rest of my life with that being the only thing I ever hear again. Compared to how he acted in cutscenes as well? He’s happy. Tired but happy.
“Oh before I forget, You should be expecting a delivery actually!”
“What.”
“I’ve been wanting to get out of the game for a while so I ordered some things to try make myself more appealing to you.”
“Like what? Link you didn't need to do anything like that.”
He just shrugged, seems like I won’t be getting an answer to that till whatever arrives whenever it does. Seems he really wasn’t lying about being tired though, he’s already starting to fall asleep laying against me like this. Thankfully he’s light enough to move to a more comfortable position, although theres nothing I can do about how tightly he’s holding me and truthfully? There’s nothing I want to do about it.
“Y’know I think I could get used to this.”
“Yo’ will I pr’mise, I’ll make you addicted to m’.”
“Well that isn’t ominous at all… and you’re already asleep.” 
291 notes · View notes
shanastoryteller · 1 year ago
Note
Thanks so much for telling me that it deleted 😅
Um happy birthday! I was actually gonna ask for time travel drarry this time 😂
Thanks again and have a great day!
a continuation of 1 2 3 4
They’re cautiously moving their way though the chamber, Draco letting him lead with only a minimum of arguing. Harry likes to think that the fact he’s a parselmouth, an auror, and has been here before is compelling, but honestly he thinks Draco agreed just so Harry would be eaten first if something goes wrong.
“You shouldn’t be doing this,” Harry can’t help but say, “we shouldn’t be doing this, I guess, but you started it. We shouldn't be changing anything, especially this far in the past. Who knows what it could mess up?”
Draco scoffs. “Again, how do you think we’re going to make things worse? What sort of future are you worried about preserving anyway?”
“Things are good, now,” he says, and wants to check Draco’s expression but can’t bring himself to stop looking around corners for the first hint of the basilisk.
“For who?” Draco presses. “I don’t know what war you lived through, but the one I did was complete shit.”
“And you could make it even worse by meddling!” he insists. Talking is also probably a bad idea, but with his luck it’ll be his first tell that the basilisk is near by – that he starts hissing rather than speaking. “Things could have gone even more to shit, and now they might, because of you!”
Draco snorts. “Typical. You know, some people actual value the things they lose, and aren’t exactly eager to lose them again.”
Harry stops moving and Draco nearly walks into him before he realizes it. He whirls around, now shoving his wand in Draco’s face. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Just because you’re a cliché doesn’t mean you have to throw a fit about it. Clichés are clichés for a reason, after all,” he says in a tone that Harry thinks is actually supposed to be soothing.
He’s not in the mood to be soothed. “I value what I lose.”
“No, you don’t. Your tragedy is tragic, Harry, but it’s not special. All you do is lose so you can’t linger on it. Parents, homes, friends – what’s it mean to lose them to you? You’ve lost them all, multiple times, and you’re just fine.” Draco makes a face, then shrugs. “For a given definition. Because you never think any of it is yours to keep, so the loss can’t hurt as much. Which is fine for you, and all your fucked up problems, but I’m not like you. What I lost is important to me and I’m not fine about it and I’m going to do whatever I can to get it back.”
It's the cruelest thing Draco’s ever said to him and the worst part is how he says it, irritated but casual, like it’s something unremarkable about him that’s obvious to everyone.
Maybe it is.
No wonder he could never get passed the third date with anyone.
Draco crouches down, yanking him against the wall. Harry’s surprised enough to let him. “Do you hear that?”
He almost says no automatically but he takes a second to try and hear something over their breathing.
Well, looks like they found the basilisk.
532 notes · View notes