#honestly I'm just happy about an excuse to write his childhood

[rorywritesjunk]

No longer locked upon the land but free on the rolling waves

You and Buggy come face to face with himself from the past, and while you’re fully accepting that this is your husband as a child, Buggy doesn’t want to accept it.

Rating: PG-13ish, but just due to some swearing.

Warning: Upset kid, upset husband. Reader is way too nice, doesn’t necessarily take husband’s feelings into account as well. This chapter had one of my favorite moments between the Reader and Kid Buggy which was mentioned in the request, and it was a part I wanted to make sure I got just right.

A/N: A combined request. I did a few versions of this story before feeling like it hit the marks I was wanting to hit. Also, I’m just trying to vibe off what I’ve seen of Kid Buggy. I’m no expert. I’d protect that kid with my life. He’s so adorable. I also like the trope of “Meeting your self from another time” and “gets turned back into kid-self”. This is the former, and I know shit about time travel but I just kind of made something up. Also, kelpies. Are they in One Piece? I honestly don’t know but I love kelpies and needed an excuse to mention them. Additional notes: Holy cow, thank you to everyone who's been reading this! I read every comment and tag and it warms my heart so much. I meant for this to be multi-chapter from the start, but I want to give a heads up that this is a short fic, probably no more than 5 chapters but I'm almost thinking of writing more on Buggy and his wife because I've liked what I started with them and have already been thinking of their story. Title comes from "Sailing Song" by S.J. Tucker.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6/Epilogue TAGLIST (just let me know if you want to be added!): @lostfirefly @misadventures0fdes @sylum @valen-yamyam16 @dohkyu @fluffybunnyu @skyofsteel @lavalampskyy

Chapter 3

Everything was going great after breakfast for a little bit. The kid was fine to follow you around to help you with your own chores, which right now was collecting anything that needed mending or washing. You had Buggy carry the basket of mending while you made your way across the deck and to the kitchen. The crew was out on deck, and while word got around of some kind of shape shifter on board (your husband was still not happy about your guest), this was the first time most of them were seeing their captain as a child. The kid ignored the staring as long as he could, but you could see it was getting to him.

The final straw was when you watched a crewman lean over to another, hearing him whisper, “He even has the big nose.”

You both heard it because no sooner did he finish his sentence that Buggy dropped the basket he was carrying and rushed over to the crewman, delivering a kick to his crotch. The crewman fell to the ground in pain and you managed to grab Buggy before he could kick him in the face, though a part of you wanted to allow it to happen.

“Don’t talk about my nose!” He shrieked, fighting against you as you hauled him away to the kitchen. You passed the captain on the way, giving him a look as you pulled the kid along. Your husband stood there, confused for a moment before turning to see the crewman on the ground. What just happened?

You sat Buggy down on a chair and knelt in front of him. It was a little surprising to see him crying. You expected more anger, shouting, maybe some punches being thrown. You shouldn’t have been surprised, though. He was a kid with kid emotions. Big fat tears rolled down his cheeks as he clenched his fists. He rubbed his eyes, sniffling loudly.

“I th-thought I was the captain.” He choked out; you reached for one of the napkins left on the table from breakfast and put your hand on his cheek as you gently wiped the tears away. “Why would th-they talk about my nose?”

Your heart broke from that question. As an adult, your husband was still sensitive about his nose, had been since you first met him, but you couldn’t imagine going through childhood with those insecurities. And the fact you explained earlier that he became the captain of this ship just to have someone on the crew mention it so cruelly? It was horrible. 

“Because some of them are idiots.” You told him as you draped the napkin over your shoulder. “And I’ll throw them overboard once I make sure you’re okay. Now, do you want a hug?”

To your surprise he nodded, so you opened your arms and he fell into them, letting his head rest on your shoulder. You sat back on the floor, stretching your legs out in front of you as you held him on your lap, rubbing his back slowly as he still sniffled. 

“So… did I miss something?”

You looked back toward the door and sighed when you saw your husband standing there. Kid Buggy ignored him, sniffling as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. You tightened your hold on the kid as you turned your attention back to him.

“One of your crewmen should be thrown overboard, Captain.” You told him, voice calm as you reached up to remove Kid Buggy’s hat so you could stroke his hair. He closed his eyes when you did that, relaxing in your embrace. You knew your husband liked having his hair stroked when he was upset, and you were pleased the kid was no different. “They need to learn when to keep their mouths shut.”

“Huhh…” Adult Buggy scratched the back of his head as he watched the scene in front of him. It was… weird but nice to see you comforting the kid like that. He didn’t remember ever really having that growing up. You were holding the kid so lovingly, not caring that your shirt was getting covered in tears and snot from him being so upset. 

“I’m sorry that idiot talked about your nose, sweetie.” You murmured to the kid in your arms, hugging him tighter. “It wasn’t right of him to do that.” 

Buggy stood there for another few minutes, watching you with him. You even gave the kid a forehead kiss, which the kid seemed fine with. He looked like he felt safe in your arms, and Buggy would know, having been there himself many times when he needed to feel safe and loved. It was just frustrating that he had to wait until meeting you to feel that way, having not ever really had that as a kid on a ship. Yet here you were, by chance now holding his kid self in your arms and comforting him when he was upset. Others would have just laughed about it, telling him to get over it, but you were apologetic to him and it wasn’t your fault it happened.

“Which one?” Adult Buggy asked; you looked up at him. “Which one said it?”

“The one that was on the ground, crying.” You replied as you rubbed Kid Buggy’s back gently. “Throw him overboard.”

Oh, he wouldn’t refuse a request like that from you. He stormed out of the kitchen, and as you tilted the kid’s face up, looking for more tears, you both heard a scream and a splash. You smiled and put your hand on his cheek, thumb stroking gently. You didn’t hear the captain return, but he remained quiet, watching from the doorway.

“No one else is going to say anything like that to you again on this ship, sweetie.” You assured him. “You’re safe with me, okay? I’ll hurt anyone who is mean to you, promise.”

“Okay…” Kid Buggy let his head drop back on your shoulder, sighing as he relaxed. You smiled and hugged him.

“Listen, I think your nose is cute.” You told him; he made a face and glanced up at you. “When I met my husband, it was the first thing I noticed about him and when I told him he was handsome he turned as red as his nose. I thought it was sweet, and to this day I still think it’s endearing.” You giggled at the face the kid was giving you. “What? I swear. I sometimes compliment him just to see how red he’ll get. It’s one of my favorite things to do.”

“You’re so evil.” Your husband grumbled, startling the two of you.  Grinning, you turned to look at him, only to laugh when you saw him glaring at you so you just blew a kiss at him. “Are you saying you only love me for my nose?”

“One of the reasons.” You chuckled. “I also love how passionate you are, and how much you love me. Though your impulsiveness still catches me off guard sometimes, I can appreciate it.”

“I’m not impulsive!”

“You threw Buggy off the ship into the water just yesterday.” You reminded him. To your delight, your husband began to turn red in the face. “But you also stole me flowers a week ago because you saw me wearing a pink dress and you liked how they matched.”

“I’m about to throw you overboard.” He grumbled, crossing his arms as he looked away, his face burning. You knew there was no threat to be had, he just said those things when he was feeling a little too much love from you. Buggy sighed heavily, shoulders dropping. Maybe he would regret offering this, but he was starting to feel a little better about this whole ordeal. “Kid, do you want a proper tour of the ship? I’m pretty sure you’re not a kelpie or anything else, so I think it’s safe for you to see everything.”

Kid Buggy made a face. He had already been around the ship with you, but you nudged him gently. This was at least a start. You wanted the kid to see what he grew up to become. “It’s okay, I think it’ll be fun for the two of you.”

“Can you come with me?” He asked you, clearly not wanting to be too far from you. It was sometimes difficult to think of a child as young as him being on a ship. You just wanted to hold him in your arms forever and protect him from anything that would hurt him, but that wasn’t realistic. Swallowing heavily, you nodded and he stood up from your lap, crossing his arms as he looked at the captain. “Promise you won’t throw me overboard?”

“Don’t give me a reason to.” Adult Buggy shot back, but you gave him that look and he immediately backtracked. “But I’ll fish you out if I accidentally knock you into the water.”

The kid seemed okay with that answer. You got to your feet and smoothed out Kid Buggy’s hair, it was a little smooshed from being against your shoulder. You handed him his hat back next, but when he didn’t take it you put it on his head for him. He made a face when you did that, and all you could do was giggle. You had seen that glare so much recently that you could only find it silly at this point.

The Captain rolled his eyes and started out of the kitchen while Kid Buggy took your hand and followed after him. You let him lead you, and once you caught up to your husband you linked arms with him, leaning up to kiss his cheek. He looked away when you did that, mumbling something about needing to uphold an image around the crew. You weren’t really sure what that image was but you didn’t say anything. Once you got to the helm of the ship, the captain pulled away from you and in a dramatic and flashy fashion, spun around and threw his arms open, gesturing wildly to the kid.

“THIS! Is my ship!” He announced to Kid Buggy. “We are the Buggy Pirates, the fiercest and most dangerous crew on the East Blue! No one survives a meeting with us!”

You watched the entire interaction in amusement. The kid was getting into it, mouth running a million miles a minute as he asked Buggy question after question about everything. How long has he been a captain? What was it like being so feared? Was he going to become the next King of the Pirates, for real? 

It was cute and you trailed after them as Buggy led him down below to where some ammo was stored. The Buggy Balls concerned you a little bit, you didn’t want them to fire one off into the town on purpose or accident, and thankfully your husband did not offer a demonstration (though you thought you heard him say something along the lines of “we’ll fire one after the wife’s asleep”) of their destructive power. 

And your husband was eating up the attention from the kid. Adult Buggy was proud to talk about his accomplishments, flashy battles, everything and Kid Buggy was listening with fascination, occasionally looking at you for confirmation that he was being told the truth, and you’d just nod in agreement with whatever your husband was saying.

Once the three of you returned to the deck, Kid Buggy’s attention went to the Jolly Roger on the ship, looking at it in awe. It had a nose like his and people were scared when they saw that flag. That was so cool. With the brief distraction, you gave your husband a kiss on the cheek. 

“I love you, Buggy.” You said, smiling at him as he put his arm around you and tugged you closer. You were happy that the two seemed to be on even footing now. The kid was sassy, of course, but at least your husband didn’t even attempt to throw him overboard during their entire interaction this time. And it was nice to see your husband excited to show off his legacy to someone, even if it was to his child self. It looked like things were getting a bit easier between the two of them.

Looked like. Because no sooner did you think that, Kid Buggy came back to you two with a frown on his face. You immediately thought something was wrong, wondering if someone insulted him again, but he crossed his arms and looked up at Adult Buggy. 

“Where’s Shanks?” Kid Buggy asked. “As a grownup. Why isn’t he on this ship too?”

Oh shit. You looked at your husband. He stormed away last time he was asked that question, but this time he stood his ground, probably because you were right there beside him. His hand was on your shoulder, you reached up to touch it gently. The look on Adult Buggy’s face was a mix of anger and sadness, and you wondered if you needed to butt in and change the subject, but he finally spoke.

“His life went in another direction.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “He’s not on this ship, he’s on his own.”

“What?” Kid Buggy frowned. “We’re not co-captains or anything?” He paused, looked at you then looked back at his adult self. “Are we still friends?”

The innocent question was a stab to your heart, but you couldn’t even imagine what it was like for Adult Buggy. His expression was unchanged, trying to think of a kid-friendly way to explain what happened, but was it right to tell him everything? Weren't there rules about this kind of thing, you don’t eat a butterfly in the past or something or it would change the future? Telling the kid his future was one thing, but about relationships? If he told Kid Buggy how his friendship fell apart, the betrayal, the hurt, could it end up that he changes this kid’s future, and in turn his own? What if he doesn’t become a captain, get his own ship? What if he didn’t meet you?

Adult Buggy took a deep breath before slowly exhaling. He didn’t know how to answer, but he had to say something. Both you and the kid were looking at him, waiting for him to say something.

“He has his own ship.” Buggy repeated. “That’s all.”

Then he pulled away from you and walked away from the two of you, leaving you worried and Kid Buggy confused by the answer.

[manic-pixie-aquarius]

So I'm doing a season 3 rewatch and I've noticed some things (some ramblings about 3x01)

1. Hopper goes to Joyce and makes her write the heart-to-heart to Mike and El, nothing super significant about that alone (and of course Hopper actually ends up writing his own letter). I just think it's interesting how later on Will is the one to create a heart-to-heart "from El" to Mike... The Byers are always solving everyone else's problems lol, I love them but babe you needa focus on yourself and your happiness too😭

2. Also, when the party + El and Max are going up the hill to use Cerebro to talk to Suzie, Dustin mentions that Suzie is Mormon. He explains that: "her parents would never approve. It's all a bit Shakespearean. Like Romeo and Juliet. Star crossed lovers". I thought this was interesting because you could say the same about Mike and Will being gay in the 80's in a small town where being in a gay relationship does seem forbidden. And when Dustin says, "her parents would never approve" El is cut off from the frame... Idk the fact that she's the only one out of frame is interesting to me, especially since she's clinging right onto Mike's arm the whole scene. Instead, the two people in the back of the group who aren't engaging in the conversation are Mike and Will. Then she comes back into frame when Dustin mentions Romeo and Juliet. Now the thing about Romeo and Juliet is that it's regarded as a romantic tale, but I disagree with that perspective honestly... R + J love for each other is so intense and passion filled that they ignore everything else, even important things like family and other responsibilities. Their love is destructive, kind of like Mike and El's love. In Hopper's letter he mentions that he misses when he and El would spend time together and is feeling her distance because of her new relationship. Similar to how Will, Lucas, and Dustin recount that Mike is being super distant and annoying because he is neglecting the group to makeout with El all the time. Max opposes them by stating "It's romantic". Max is also the person who's been in the group the shortest amount of time, the boys who have known Mike since childhood state, "It's gross" and "it's bullshit". Mike is severely neglecting his friendships in the name of love, El is doing the same to her paternal figure.

3. Another thing I love about this season is how Lucas is quick to call out Mike on his bs. When Mike makes the excuse of "I was spending romantic time with my girlfriend" Lucas says "Yeah well I'm spending romantic time with MY girlfriend" (whilst still spending time with his friends) But it's also funny because Lucas is insinuating that this theater going experience is romantic, like everyone has pointed out by now, this was essentially a Byler + Lumax double date (like this scene didn't HAVE to happen, they could've waited until Dustin got back to see a movie together, and once Dustin does return we already see how neglectful Mike is being towards everyone. So, what was the point of this whole mall movie theater scene...well to establish the mall setting and the new characters, thats first and foremost, but it was also to show that Mike is still trying to at least put in some effort into his relationship to Will. It shows that he still cares and is at least kindaa keeping his promises from the previous season (making sure his best friend is feeling safe).

4. The hand grab Joyce does to Hopper to reassure him... Byler heart-to-heart vibes...

Question: Why aren't there more Nancy and Mike scenes when they share the same passion of writing???

Anyways this episode is just so funny honestly, I love how angry Hopper gets at Mike. All their scenes together in every season are so good. We missed out on those in season 4, I hope we get some more in s5

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Hello hello again!!!! :3

I loveloveLOVE your Lucius/Viktor post!! Once again, you brighten my noggin w your thoughts (:

Umumumummmmmmmm so is there anyone else you want an excuse to yap about LOL Idkidk I just want to hear your thoughts about everyone and everything!!

Idk if you have any/many thoughts about them, but maybe we could hear about the Averys and Sinistras? Especially Edmund's unnamed fiancée !!!!

Ahhhhhh your brain is just so !!!! /Pos

- 🍃

Ahhhh I'm so glad you liked it,, it fully helped fuel my Xenophilius post!!

I think I might take this time to talk about some good old Pebill!! I saw this one tiktok a few days ago and I've been so obsessed since. Welcome to Pebill City, population ME!!!!

I am,, far too fond of giving ships fun little names so I bestow upon thee,,, ratseer lol

I specifically love these two in a band au. I'm gonna write one eventually and I'm gonna make them so happy and sappy and cute and just like the tiktok says they'll have a daughter called Rosemary. I'm just so in love with them. Peter who plays the second guitar in the band and like the occasional trumpet and sometimes he thinks it's kinda silly that he's in the band but also he's just so happy to be there. He saved all his money from his part time job to buy the most run-down Volkswagen T1 when the band started getting big enough to have to travel around for stuff and he shows up like "TADA!" all proud of himself cause he solved their problem. He meets Sybill at one of these travel gigs. They're playing at a wedding and maybe she's like the bride's sister or just a bridesmaid or something and she's wearing a really flowy dress and she's spinning around right in front of him having the time of her life and her thick curls are bouncing and you can just see Peter melt while he's on stage playing cause he misses a cord or something. And the guys notice and they insist that the has to talk to her and he's all nervous and shit but then Sybill comes to talk to him because she thinks he's really cute and they hit it off. They call at each stop they have and a few months in they go pick her up before moving onto a bigger gig and she just stays with them.

He wants to settle down at some point when Sybill ends up pregnant and he almost leaves the band but Sybill insists that she's fine travelling around with them because that's the life she loves and she wants their daughter to be born a free soul and she sees in her cards that she's supposed to be born a certain place and Peter is just like [scout's salute] "yes ma'am" and I just think they're so stinking cute vjnfgjbngjbngj

I need to figure out this band au at some point cause it's been rotting my brain lately, I just have so many long fics I wanna write I don't feel like I can start a new one now even if I want to vjfnbjgnbj

I have,,, far too many thoughts on both the Averys, the Sinistras but especially Edmund's fiancee!!!! I've been waiting for a chance to talk about her honestly,,,

Let's start with the Averys,,,,

Edmund Avery Senior, the only child of Herschel Avery and Miriam Avery, is Edmund's father, in case that wasn't clear from the name. Edmund Senior works as an archivist for the Ministry of Magic and he's got a spot in the Wizengamot along with his father Herschel. The two are not close and if you didn't know you wouldn't think they were father and son. During most of Edmund's Senior's childhood his mother was heavily sedated and he was more or less raised by the family house elf, Dotty (usually called Dot and Dorothy in muggle aus). Dot is also the house elf who helped raise Edmund Junior. Edmund Senior attended school with Tom Riddle and was sorted into Slytherin and was one of Tom's dorm mates. They were also just close friends (as close friends as Tom could have). Edmund Senior was part of the reason Tom managed to open the Chamber of Secrets as he showed him a book featuring hints of the Chambers being real. To sum Edmund Senior up he's an incredibly nerdy insecure man. He loves history and in a muggle au he collects model aeroplanes. He's got a good handful of childhood trauma, a difficult relationship with his family and most of his peers and the only thing he's really got going for him is that he's an incredibly devoted husband who's down bad for his wife. She's luckily incredibly wooed by what I can only describe as his autism rizz lmao (I hate that so much ew actually)

Edmund's mother and Edmund Senior's wife is Esther, a very attractive recovered alcoholic. Rumours fly around frequently about her being unfaithful to her husband though she could never dream of it. Most of what is known about her is fabricated, which is entirely intentional as she's hiding things about herself such as her country of birth. Esther lost her family during the Holocaust. She met Edmund while they were both in their mid-twenties and they got married a while later and eventually had their only son Edmund Avery Junior. Their son has inherited his father's looks save for his mother's hair colour and many beauty spots as well as her eating disorder.

Due to Esther's alcoholism and a slight strain on their relationship over the years due to Edmund Senior favouring his work too much, Edmund Junior had much more to do with Dot, their house elf, than what would be considered normal as she would have to step in where Esther sometimes lacked. Despite this Edmund was an incredible mummy's boy and still is, something Esther cherished immensely as she loved being both a mother and wife. He would cling to her at any given time, he'd rather have tea with her than play with other children, he'd come running to her crying at the smallest inconvenience, he was so proud of wearing fancy clothes like his father and getting a spray of his mother's perfume.

The Avery family is resembled by Barn Owls similar to how the Malfoys are represented by (albino?) peacocks. Edmund Senior gifted Esther a taxidermied rat when they first started dating, similar to how Barn Owls gift their mates prey and while others find it incredibly weird they now have a shared love for taxidermied animals and he will gift her more on their anniversaries/on Valentine's Days/etc. Edmund Senior and Esther seem like an incredibly unlikely pair to everyone else but Esther fell for him in part because he was one of the only men who could see her for her mind and her heart rather than just her looks (even if he's down bad for those too lol)

Idk where else to mention this but they're both pureblood wizards,,,

They're probably my favourite of the parents,,, which is why they're the only knights of walpurgis era characters that have their own pinterest collection for pictures,,,, I would have shared it but,,, I have used all my pictures up for one post T-T

Onto the Sinistras I have considerably less but I can fill you in a bit,,,

Aurora is the only daughter of Altair Aseel Sinistra and Nazareth Sinistra née Lubilanji. Nazareth is Sierra Leonean albeit has lived in England for her entire life. She's also a half-blood. She's one of seven siblings and when she attended Hogwarts she was sorted into Gryffindor. She is incredibly fond of cats and puzzles. During her time at Hogwarts, she was part of the Slug Club. Altair is a pureblood wizard and the second son of Aseel Najm Sinistra and Sidra Ahyam Sinistra and the younger brother of Tariq Aseel Sinistra. His family is Egyptian but they've lived in England for the past two or so generations I'm thinking?? Like his daughter, he was a Ravenclaw when he attended school and he became Prefect during his fifth year.

Taking a bit of a side step here since this ask was after all about all the Sinistras,,, Tariq marries Salma Al-Mashriq, a pureblood Hufflepuff and together they have three children; Rashid, Hisham and Samara who are all younger than Aurora (Rashid (Slytherin) and Hisham (Ravenclaw) are third and second years when Aurora is in her seventh year and Samara is not yet attending school). Salma was part of a handful of extracurricular activities such as being a School Paper Writer, a member of the Gobstones Club and the Orchestra. Tariq similarly had a lot of extracurricular activities as well. He was a Slug Club Member, Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain and Chaser and School Paper Manager.

I'm still playing around with this idea so it's going to get more polished at some point but I think Altair and Salma had a thing going on at some point but something happened,, Salma married Tariq and Altair who'd been friendly with Nazareth and already was fond of her for other reasons ended up marrying her. He was able to mostly push his feelings aside after Aurora was born. He would have loved at least one more child for him to dote on and focus on, but Aurora was not an easy child and while it not being the same obviously, they got have a cat, Moonbow, that both Altair and Nazareth love like she's their second child.

Now onto Priya,,, my beloved < 3

Edmund's fiancee is Lakshmipriya Mohanraj also known as Priya. She was born October 13, 1960, and she's the only daughter of Siddarth Mohanraj and Rajeshwariammal Mohanraj. She's got two brothers, Raja and Dhananjay, though both have sadly passed, one of them in a motorcycle accident they were both in and the other took his life about a month later.

She is a mean lesbian who doesn't quite know she's a lesbian yet. She's tired of Edmund's shit and having to deal with him and it's her mood like,, 85% of the time. Her family are all loyal Death Eaters which is part of the reason why they got engaged in the first place. The Mohanraj family was also just a nice connection and if there's one thing Edmund Senior values it's connections.

She ends up marrying Endmund Junior and after A LOT of trial and error, they have a son, Siddharth Avery and later a daughter, Esther Avery (Junior technically I suppose,, since she's named after Edmund's mother). It's very clear that Priya favours her son while Edmund somewhat hesitantly ends up favouring their daughter.

Little Siddharth thinks his dad is super cool and he thinks his dad's friend (Severus) is even cooler which Priya always finds incredibly annoying cause she cannot STAND Severus,,, like at all

Priya and Edmund have some moments of bonding together but for the most part, the two cannot stand each other. They come together to judge other people and oh boy do they do it well. They're big on their children having nice manners and not being a bother to others.

I am actually in love with Priya,, she serves so much cunt and still, she's stuck with her loser husband. She probably hoped he would get caught for being a Death Eater and get sent to Azkaban and she was so annoyed when he successfully convinced people he was under the Imperius curse,,,

This became,,, soooo long which is just becoming the norm at this point honestly lmao but I hope you enjoyed all of this!!! I'll definitely come back and talk more about both the Averys and the Sinistras cause I've got other asks about them vjfnbjgnb (at least the Sinistras I think,,, I can't remember if the Averys are in there ooop)

[ihopesocomic]

One of the reasons I like your position about your villains being evil just because they are, is because as much as it's nice to give backstories and reasons for their actions, it's always important to remember that bad people exist. People who are evil by choice. Nobody is perfect or black and white, but there are people who are selfish and proud, and don't mind hurting others, even though they know they do.

A great example of this for me are transphobic, homophobic, racists people etc. People have access to information, but they see asking for human rights as an attack on them, attack on their life and a attack on their beliefs. And I don't like to make excuses for that. "Oh, but maybe it's just a stupid kid", f*ck off, they still have the energy to go to a blog with queer creators and say shit in anonymous.

Anyway, not wanting to go too deep lol, I know that Jasper and Edge are not bigots, since this does not exist in the comic (thankfully!) But that's one reason why I think a villain being evil for "no reason" isn't bad or lazy writing. Evil people who choose to be bad deserve to be treated badly. It's always a good reminder.

Thank you so so much, anon. This is a point that we've gotten criticism for because we didn't go to painstakingly (and nauseating) lengths to give Jasper the Quickmane or Proudmane treatment and trying to make him sympathetic out of nowhere. It also really bothers me when people always try and imply that things like an abusive background and/or mental illness as a reason for somebody's awful behaviour. They can certainly be factors but having them be THE reason just rubs me off the wrong way. I apologise for sounding like a broken record at this point but it feels like that's what folks want us to do with Jasper (i.e. giving him a tragic backstory) and yeah no, that's not happening.

We're not giving him an "out" just so folks can completely misread things and mistake him for a victim. Because he's not. Sometimes people are just awful... because they're awful. Kudos to folks who haven't had to encounter folks like that irl - honestly, I'm happy for you - but that doesn't mean they don't exist for others. And yeah, your last statement. Couldn't agree more. It reminds me of when I was disappointed that we never got the backstory of Butterscotch Horseman in Bojack Horseman like we got Beatrice's and I soon came to realise that it's purely inconsequential. Perhaps he was lying about losing his mother young. Perhaps he wasn't. Either way, it doesn't matter. He used it as a means to gain sympathy and manipulate others. What also matters more is that he actively chose to be an awful person to his son and wife. And I don't think anything in his childhood would have changed my opinion of him... because I feel it wasn't supposed to with Beatrice. - RJ

[scummy-writes]

Day Seven: New Beginnings.

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Isaac/Mc/Arthur

Context: this is a scene from a story I haven't shared before, concerning Isaac/Mc/Arthur having a threesome on Isaac's birthday, in a universe where Arthur and Mc are already a couple.

The story is a focus on Isaac consenting to this, and them slowly getting Isaac used to being with either of them over the course of a month or so, intimately or not, before the threesome happens.

This scene focuses on the aftermath of the threesome.

I'm sharing this because I've had the overall story as a wip for a couple of years, but friends and followers stated they would be interested in seeing the scenes from the story as their own posts, as I've been too nervous and anxious to write an actual completed multi-chaptered fic. I've always been fond of this scene, and worked on it during Isaac week to hopefully make it enjoyable.

----

In the silence of the late night, Isaac can't find it within himself to sleep. His mind is too busy whirring with thoughts, no matter how exhausted his body is.

He assumed that he would be a nervous mess after having sex with them, but they were right- gradually working him up to just of the idea of this eased so many concerns, and all of the 'practice' he had with each of them, learning everyone's likes and dislikes, helped Isaac focus on the pleasure of it all, and… the intimacy after.

They had gone on get togethers, and they had all spent the night just cuddling before, but all of it felt so different compared to now.

After everyone had been spent, there were far more kisses than he expected after, and so many checks to make sure Isaac was okay and happy.

It was…overwhelming, for just a moment.

The warmth of it all lingered, especially as they snuggled up to him, idly talking about tomorrow's plans for Isaac's birthday. Their tiredness was evident, but the excitement was still there, and he realized they were just excited to celebrate it with him. That they honestly wanted to treat him to a normal birthday celebration as well.

It makes him understand that right here, with them, Isaac doesn't have to be more than he is.

Her arm is resting over his stomach, nose brushing against his collar as she nuzzles into him with a sigh. All the while Arthur's pressed a kiss into his hair, pulling the blankets up to subdue any chills.

And Isaac basks in the warmth they provide, a shaky but content sigh spilling out. There's a sting hitting his eyes that he's desperately trying to ignore; they're already beginning to breathe deeper, sinking into sleep. But for the first time in ages, he feels so loved and wanted on his birthday.

After his childhood, he'd deliberately make some excuse to escape celebrating it. Hide away with schoolwork, pretending it was some other day. It seemed fitting, since his own mother cast him out just a few years after he was born.

His own little tradition seeped into his second life- granted, when the others found out they would try to do something, no matter how small. He'd awake with a card slipped under his door, a wrapped gift waiting for him on the dining table. Of course, most gifts came with whatever holiday celebration le Comte would hold but…

Here in their embrace, Isaac knew that they weren't pushed into this out of a need to be polite. He didn't have to worry so much for once, about if they truly put any thought into this day, towards his feelings.

He felt her stir, snuggling in closer to him, and Isaac couldn't help the tear that escaped. Or two.

Oh, he tried to hide it. Tried to discreetly sniffle, take in a breath that didn't shake him, but Arthur noticed first and she followed suit.

"Isaac? Hey," Arthur pressed another kiss to his head, cupping his cheek to thumb away a tear, "What is it?"

"I-I'm fine." His voice cracked and he let out a scoff, embarrassed he couldn't ever keep his voice straight. "Re-really, I'm okay."

She was next to show her concern, propping herself up to get a better look at him, catching how he skittishly looked away.

"Sweetheart," the pet name brought fresh tears, Isaac's heart fluttering at her gentle coo, "tell us what's wrong. Are you hurt? Was that all too much? It's okay if that's the case, Isaac, we want-"

"I-It's nothing to do with sex," he finally stammered out, desperately trying to wipe his tears away. A wave of white-hot shame was coursing through him, with how his crying was causing the both of them to worry, when the reason behind it would seem naive to them, he was sure. But his words kept tumbling out regardless, trying to ease their worries, "it's just th-the first time I've f-felt so, so-"

So loved. But how does he tell them so, when he's such a mess, afraid to ruin the moment even further.

Through Isaac's stammering, Arthur gently smiles, wrapping his arm around Isaac and giving him a squeeze. He plants his lips against Isaac's temple, and mutters words he never thought he'd hear.

"We love you too."

Oh.

The affirmation has Isaac falling into pieces, swimming in relief and the strain of having his feelings met washing away.

The stress and worry ebbs away into comfort, as the two hold him through his tears, gently letting him pour his emotions out in their embrace.

.

Once his cheeks are dried by a combination of him using the sheet as a makeshift tissue, and their reassuring kisses, Arthur murmurs that he'll be right back with some water for Isaac, gingerly getting out of the bed. As the door to the room closes behind him, she takes Isaacs cheeks in her hands, peppering slow, lingering kisses across his features.

"I want to make it clear that us saying that we love you isn't coming from nowhere. It's coming from a lot of long talks between Arthur and I."

"The two of you really thought this through…" his voice is croaky, another wave of relief and joy hitting him when hearing those words again, but exhaustion is seeping into his bones now, and he can't be bothered to care how he sounds. Not when she starts carding her fingers through his hair, making his eyes flutter shut.

"Mhm… Isaac, you've been on our minds more often than you may think. It wasn't long into trying to get you more comfortable with the idea of being…intimate with us, with all those dates and spending nights together, that Arthur and I admitted to each other that we were really growing attached to spending our time with you."

Isaac's heart flusters at that, his grip on her tightening. How can he explain how wonderful it feels to know that he's been in their thoughts, and hearts, for so long? How he never realized just how much he longed to just hear those words said to him in earnest?

But it doesn't seem like he has to- at least not tonight- as she patiently rubs his back, resting her cheek upon his head.

"If it's alright with you, we can talk about it more tomorrow? I think having an honest discussion, to clear away any worries or concerns, would be nice for all of us."

.

Isaac registers warmth first. The heat of the sun peeking through the window, hitting a shoulder and cheek. Isaac scrunches his nose as his dreams ebb away, getting hit with realizing there's an ache behind his eyes, a weight pressed against his other cheek.

He grumbles, a hand clumsily wiping at an eye before he blinks awake, trying to piece together where he is.

And then he remembers why certain parts of his body, certain muscles, have a dull ache to them, and suddenly the heat on his cheeks isn't just from the sun anymore.

Arthur, the weight on his side that he barely registered at first, stirs at Isaac's movements, sleepily lifting his head up to peek at Isaac.

"Sleep okay?"

His voice is groggy, and the lazy smile he shoots Isaac with makes Isaac melt with relief yet again.

It's proof. That there isn't any regrets from last night.

"Slept great…" he nods, recalling how comfortable it felt, being between the two people he held affections for. But… "where did she go?"

Arthur motions towards the bedroom door, before promptly snuggling back against Isaac, evidently not ready to get out of bed just yet.

"Our little bird wanted to make sure you were spoiled thoroughly today, so I think she's making breakfast and a possible surprise," then, he puts a finger against his lips, grinning at Isaac, "don't tell her I told you, though."

Chuckling, Isaac presses a kiss against Arthur's forehead, "I won't."

His good mood seems to be infectious, as Arthur laughs with him, propping himself up to get a better look at Isaac.

God knows how he must look- up late crying, still waking up. But Arthur's eyes are soft and loving as he meets his gaze, and Isaac's heart is squeezing in joy once more.

"Was a bit worried you'd wake up feeling terribly, but…" Arthur idly thumbs Isaac's cheek, then traces his jaw, "I haven't seen you smile this much before."

"I'm in a rather good mood," he admits, mimicking Arthur's motions. The action rewards him with Arthur's smile, and the affection bubbling within him causes Isaac to act on elated impulses.

His hand gently slips behind Arthur's head, and it's all too easy to guide their lips together.

The first kiss is short, but then Isaac is emboldened by the way Arthur kisses him back, and presses their lips together again. And again. Until Arthur's breath sounds strained, and Isaac's emotions are torn between the joy of being loved and the need for the physicality of it.

"This is something I could easily get used to," Arthur mutters against his lips, meeting Isaac's smile with his own.

"I think I could as well."

----

I've mentioned before that this is part of a larger story that I have been on and off writing for a couple of years now. This is the 'ending' on the story notes I have for it, and it's something I've been fond of for a while. (Of course, its been edited from the original draft to try and make more sense)

I am very enamored with the idea of Isaac loving and being loved in return, and receiving the affection he's longed for- secretly or not- for a very long time.

People seemed very interested in me posting scenes from the story I have set up for these three, as I admitted I don't think I can make this an actual multi-chaptered fic, and it is something I plan to do through 2023. It's possible that I may end up revisiting this scene and rewriting bits of it due to that, as some scenes I write in the future may conflict a bit with this.

I still need to come up for an 'AU' name for it though, so it might take a little bit into 2023 before things start to be posted HAHA.

Masterlist | Ikevamp/Ikepri Server

Tag list (let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!): @aeoncryptic @anianakin @shookspearewrites @niintendoqs @otomefoxystar @jazzellen @cinnatwisted @kim-stitches @passionatebooklover @aurora-morning @kimmy-banana @akitsuneswife

[ieatratsforlunch]

heard you were looking for an excuse to infodump mayhaps ? :3

OHHH MY STARS YESSS YES

Okay, so, Jinkles is the one I'm gonna talk about because honestly he has the most fleshed out backstory and personality! He's both the ringmaster and clown of a circus that specializes in doing "acts" for the patients at Sparklecare, which don't usually end up with all the patients participating going back to their rooms without a scratch. I'm still working on the other circus members, but I can say that one is an aardwolf and another is a maned wolf! Generally speaking the circus is mainly made up of canines, considering Jinkles himself is a mudi dog!

He's good "friends" with Cuddles and has known him since childhood, around about middle school! Jinkles didn't have the best parents, so he grew up watching and doing stuff he probably shouldn't have been. This in turn ended up with him believing that violence and other not so legal things were fine to do, because he didn't have really any guidance from any good sources :(

Cuddles (Or Cutta/Cuts, as Jinkles calls him) was really the first person to show Jinkles any form of attention or care, so Jinkles is extremely attached to him and would do anything to make him happy. He really REALLY cares about Cuddles but isn't really sure if Cuddles feels the same way.

In other smaller notes, Jinkles is like 5'11 and nobody knows what age he really is, just that it's over 20. He's trans male and panromantic, as well as demisexual! You'll know a lot more details about why his parents weren't really around because there's actually gonna be a special chapter in the Sparklecare fanfiction I'm writing that's going to be focused on his middle school years and how he came to meet Cuddles in the first place!

[1d1195]

to the anon that sent me two messages. I haven't been ignoring you. I def stayed away from tumblr the last day or so. But anyway.

You are always welcome to trauma dump to me and I'm happy to listen. I hope that my opinions and feelings don't make you think less of me. I know there's a lot I don't know nor experience and I never aim to offend anyone and never try to make anyone feel invalidated. You are extremely important, and I think that's the most important thing to remember and take away if you decide to read below the cut.

I think your feelings are completely reasonable. I have been struggling with the way he uses his platform myself and other than writing, I've found myself hardly listening to his music lately. I think I've been in love with the old Harry and maybe the way he used to make me feel--when I was younger and less aware of how bad the world was. When I picture him, it's not the Harry from 2024. I'm not even sure it's the Harry I thought about when I started this blog.

I'm not trying to make him sound better than he is, but a lot of people have voiced these opinions about Harry and other celebrities more and more recently. I don't think you're alone and you're right to question his beliefs and attitudes toward social issues and marginalized communities. I try not to delve too much into his relationships. I never understand them and it honestly just depresses me so I steer clear.

You are completely entitled to your opinion and I think if you're protecting your heart and mental health by pulling back from Harry, then there's nothing wrong with that. I like what you said about not being caught off guard. I'm the same way. It would be crippling to find out someone I looked up to wasn't who I thought they were. It's happened a lot actually to people I'm very close with and it hurts like crazy.

I don't know if this helps but part of what I do (specifically me--and my bf would COMPLETELY agree with me) is I def am prone to para-social relationships with celebrities (queue the fanfic archive). I call Ryan by his first name (either one), same with Andrew (Garfield) Being from the same state I'm convinced I would fall in love with Chris Evans at Gillette Stadium watching the Patriots (even though he's now married). And quite honestly? I think this 'pedestal' (if you can call it that because I don't think it is) that I put them on makes them less real. I don't see them as real people. Maybe that's bad in it's own right, too, but I think I do it subconsciously to protect my heart. I really liked watching Ellen growing up--she was a staple when I was home sick from school and I just found her segments enjoyable. When all the bad stuff came out about her it killed a part of my childhood and I'm not condoning what she did because she hurt a lot of people--including myself. I'm not sure how closely you follow my blog (no shade, just feel bad if you have to listen to me repeat myself a lot) but I refuse to watch the news. It just makes this crazy, often-shitty world we live in feel even more dreadful and I couldn't take the negativity any longer. It was my way of filtering out the stuff that hurt me.

What my rambling here was trying to say was, I don't think celebrities are without fault and you're right to question and worry. You're right to protect your heart and mental health because (and the idea that I will never see Michael B. Jordan up close and personal is truly AWFUL) I'm never going to meet them to ask them the hard questions. There will always be the space of media, lies, and more that will come between their real thoughts and actions and the watered down version I get as a run-of-the-mill consumer.

I feel like I made a lot of excuses and ramblings that don't make sense here. This is a very hard subject and I really don't want you to think I'm making excuses for Harry or any celebrity. I think their lives are entirely different than mine. But I do hide A LOT of my true emotions and feelings from everyone all the time and I do think I have that in common with them. I don't know if this will make you think less of me but if it does, I'm very sorry. It wasn't my intention. I appreciate you feeling comfortable to chat with me about the hard stuff and I hope that there's some kind of comfort you take away from all this, even if it was just from getting what you were feeling off your chest. 💕 I hope that you find peace with your decision because again, the most important thing that matters is you're happy 💕

xoxo

[juliedrawz]

Hi Cancíon de Vida! I hope you’re well. How’s your summer break so far? Hope you’ve enjoyed it. Thank you for all you’ve done on here 💜🧡🩷.

Hi dear,

Yes, I'm well and I'm very much enjoying my summer so far, thank you very much for asking 💖

By now I'm back from my first trip and my next is already close! The time has been so incredibly enriching and transforming for me. I learned a bit more about myself and God while in Israel. I met lots of dear friends there who I grew very fond of and saw and experienced so many incredible things that I will forever cherish 🌅 For me, the bible became more alive there. Now I'm soon heading to italy.

~

Furthermore, you are very welcome! I'm indescribably thankful and grateful that my art and what I do is so much loved. It's been my goal to share my passions with likeminded souls and being able to make others happy with something I love doing is a pleasure!

~

It's also very VERY relaxing to for once not feel the pressure to post anything really. Not to sit down and write and write or draw and draw, just to be productive. Even if I say I take my time with everything I do, it's easy to slip back into that routined mindset, that tells you that you have to do something. But all of you, here and on insta, have been nothing but sweet, supportive, understanding and patient and I can't thank you enough for that! It's a relief to find myself in a fandom/community who isn't just nontoxic but also accepting of my privacy and personal faith. You are awesome!

As for my art and the book. Did I mention I somewhat regretted posting my first and second drafts? I'm still grateful though you guys loved and devoured it like a piece of tart while me was sitting behind the screen cringing harder than life. Yikes

Yeah .... every more matured and expierenced author would have told me that this wasn't the bestest idea. Because and especially because ideas change, character developement happens, plotlines change, even the minor ones, you views and opinions also either change or deepen AND last but not least, the writing itself! You improve and you learn things along the way. And then I went, "Why the heck did I post that? It's raw, like uncooked meat!" The second thing is slightly fried here and there but still raw inside. I'm still constantly seasoning the story-steak, slide it left and right and flip it once in a while. And all you got so far is a little sniff and a little taste test. It's not a finished meal just yet and it won't be for a good while. That doesn't mean you won't be able to read it though. Just keep in mind, that whatever does come isn't the solid finished vers.

~

Anyway! I've been leaving the other chapters behind and pondered mostly about Ernesto and his storyline in my book. Honestly, sometimes I'm still surprised how much I ended up loving this character and how much fun it brings me to continue his story, shed light and develope his background and also continue establishing him where the original authors stopped. Now I start to understand why books and movies sometimes/oftentimes take several years!

Also, some of you have been asking me about Héctor's and Imeldas parents. Yes, you'll be introduced to them before you'll read about them. I guess that will make understanding them much easier and you'll also have faces.

-

As to Arlo and Estella, you'll be able to read a whole part of their past and at the same time learn everything about Héctor's early childhood. This gif portraits them just perfect! Also the resemblance! Excuse me?

Carlo and Maria Rivera will be more present in chapter 10? I believe? And you'll also read about them in the land of the dead soon. There, you'll find the explanation to Carlo's behavior if the upcoming character sheet won't already do that.

~

I again thank you for your patience! And while we're at it, I'll remember you once more, that you are free to message me here or on instagram, to ask questions about my book while you wait. I'll try to continue to answer as many as I can without completely spoiling the most important plots and infos.

-

That being said, I wish you all a wonderful summer wherever you are ❤️ Stay safe, stay healthy and God bless you all! ✈️

[lovecolibri]

Honestly I think 911’s biggest weakness is a lack of planning. We already know that their original plans for S5 fell through, resulting in BT being drawn out because Megan was available. Which, good for her, get that bag sis. Would love to know what the original plan was, but I know I never will.

And they also couldn’t have been more clearly setting something up with Ravi and his childhood cancer storyline. But for one reason or another they failed to get Anirudh under contract. Why? Who knows. Maybe they took for granted that he’d be available next year so they didn’t make it worth his commitment, which is silly with such a handsome, talented, and likable actor. He’s off to bigger and better things, and again good for him get that bag! Or maybe it’s more complicated than that and again we’ll never know.

In any case they had to drop that thread and chose to go with ignoring him entirely and hoping the audience would just forget, which to be fair has worked with some of their fuckups in the past, but not this time, guess they underestimated just how much people liked him, so they had to come up with some last-second off screen excuse for why he literally disappeared and no one even mentioned his name again. Not to mention writing Chimney off because JLH was on leave. Baffling decision making, honestly.

And anyway they don’t seem to be very good at making Plan A happen, and when it doesn’t instead of having a solid Plan B or C, they scramble and the story suffers. Then add in admitted problems with pacing and filling time and the story stops working because the tension is lost and the payoff fizzles out. Their very own metaphorical structural defects being ignored, bound to come crashing down eventually. You know that old adage about failing to plan is planning to fail. It’s true!

This is BEYOND old but like, so appropriate for right now! I honesty don't think they NEEDED to pad out time with Tay Kay because they have SUCH a large main cast, but that would require KR to care about something other than what is going on in Buck's pants and any given moment, and because SHE wanted BT, we got BT despite it making no sense to have even brought her character back in s4. What did she even do that no one else could have done? Getting *some* possible inside info in Treasure Hunt and the *getting the story on the news* bit in First Responders is the only thing I can think of, and honestly they easily could have figured out a different way. But the show cannot seem to have Buck or Eddie in a relationship without the other then seeking out one too because otherwise they don't really have anything to do when they can't be involved in their normal family unit. Which is dumb, because they could work on Eddie's friendships and relationships with other cast and same with Buck in letting them be involved in other storylines, but apparently good looking men have no other purpose but to seek out a woman to complete their family I guess, and god forbid they be allowed around each other if one of them is dating. 😒

(also why I'm very 😒😒😒 about them getting other LIs. I remember Buck not being allowed to talk to anyone but Tay Kay while trapped in his loft for 98% of s5. I hate the idea of losing out on not just romantic Buddie, but their whole friendship and the Buckley-Diaz family unit. Eddie isn't going to need Buck to bake cookies with Chris if he has a GF to do it. Buck isn't going to need to cook for Eddie and Chris and help Chris with his homework if he's busy going out with his GF. There is SO much more we lose out on when those two are pared up with other women than just romantic Buddie and regardless if these women stick around long term, I'm tired and don't want to watch MORE wasted time, and more important talks they COULD be having with each other or their chosen family members going to random characters I don't know or care about. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

As for Ravi, I'm SO happy we clamored loud enough to get him back, and also good for him for picking up other jobs when KR sidelined him and gave all his moments to L instead. You go King! But they've known he was going to be back for ages so the fact they have STILL not mentioned him in s6 until he's randomly back on screen is just a) poor planning, pacing, and things happening off screen that KR thinks is fine to mention in interviews instead of actually on the show people are watching, and b) feels very vindictive because everyone loved him and hated her little self-insert character. But whatever, he's back now and I'm very excited to see him again!

But for REAL, they need to get KR out of the showrunner chair. The pacing and arcs and whole entire show has suffered enough that even the GA is tired of cyclical plots and characters going nowhere just repeating the same storylines over again, and with the show not having the depth and feeling it used to have. When even the casual viewers are picking up on and calling out things like Buck and Eddie's friendship being sidelined, or Madney stuff happening off screen, you KNOW it's bad. Also, regardless of demo (which doesn't matter as much anymore with them not getting ad revenue as much, thanks T for pointing that out!) the number of viewers has dropped DRAMATICALLY. And at some point the network cannot justify spending that kind of money on a show that isn't bringing in the money OR accolades. (like LS getting notice and awards for it's representation and diversity for example).

[eomma-jpeg]

1, 7, 17!

my triumphant return is now bc i really wanted to answer some asks lol

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

honestly i always go back to silly little fluffy one shots. i love writing happy characters mostly bc i fall in love with the ones that are sad T-T and i like to make them kiss !!! i love shipping and just want my favs to smooch !

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

okay,, so one of the chapters in in the meadow that i'm most proud of is chapter 7, which is when Vash and Knives TALK and if you want the full context its best to read the full chapter, but im going to insert one of my favorite chunks

The knob twisted and he peeked in through the crack, eyes immediately locking with his brother's. Met with his always intense gaze, Vash decided then and there he would not back down. Call it a sibling rivalry. "Took you long enough," Knives chided, relaxing his head back into the bed. His scolding honestly made Vash relax. Maybe this would just be a talk, nothing more, nothing less. Neither member expected much of the other, and if they came to any sort of consensus by the end, it would be a success. Vash made this quick resolution, a breath of relief escaping him. Vash moved into the room and closed the door behind him, "Sorry, I got caught up with something." "Get trapped in your sheets again?" Vash couldn't believe Knives was attempting to tease him, and tease him about something from their childhood. Deciding to play along, Vash replied, embarrassed, "You know that only happened one time." Knives just huffed, and it made Vash pause. The way he said his teasing comment wasn’t truly humorous, nor was it hateful or irritated. It was so mild, almost devoid of feeling, and Vash saw on Knives’ face what he was trying to hide. Taking a page right out of Vash’s book, Knives was deflecting; he was attempting to diffuse the situation or distract Vash from the pure panic in his eyes. Sympathy permeated his own expression unwillingly.   Proceeding silently, Vash shifted the end table to the right of Knives just enough so he could sit on it. There weren’t any other pieces of furniture in the room that Vash could utilize, so the small desk would have to do.

I went over chapter 7 probably 1 billion times because i wanted to characterize Vash and Knives as best as possible. I don't think i'll ever do it perfectly bc theyre not my characters, but I think i did this chapter justice. BUT this section here kind of... reveals Knives to be just as scared as Vash is about any sort of reconciliation between them, and while in reality they would need so much more than just a simple conversation to fix everything (and they do) I like to think that I did well at creating a scenario where they could do that. I've read too many works where they create dumb excuses for getting characters to change or to talk and I didn't want to fall into that trap.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

so as of late i do write from start to finish. I think it helps with the flow, and it incentivizes me to finish the whole thing lol. with in the meadow i had to bc i knew if i only wrote the scenes i wanted to write it would never get done lol

[the-bloody-sadist]

Ayyy! Happy new year! This time I have a writing question for you! Do you have any suggestions for how to deal with suspension of disbelief in the context of writing a really fucked up whumper? Like, I just want to write. I have the basics of the dynamic and motive down but if I think about it too hard I start rationalizing myself out of it and thinking things like "Okay, sure he's a terrible person... But his thought process doesnt make sense to me," which is frustrating because it also DOES make sense to me, but it's so easy to poke holes in. Another example being creepy, posessive whumpers which I'm trying hard to write, and I GET that it's irrational but also I just end up thinking "But... If you love him... Why is he in a cage with his eyes gouged out..."

🐳

Hello Whale!! Happy New Year to you too :D

Thank you for your questions! This is something I'm particularly passionate about, but I tend to NOT see it in the whump community (which honestly, I don't really like to say I'm a part of, I just know that tagging my works as that will bring in the crowd who can enjoy it most). There are so many dead characters that are only there for the sake of causing pain and creating whump. It's frustrating to me lol.

First of all, the biggest reason you'd most likely have trouble with the suspension of disbelief in the context of a fucked up whumper or villain would be because you don't know his motivation. People don't just do fucked up things out of nowhere for the sake of doing fucked up things for fun. And even if people might exist in real life that seem to do this, it's just because we don't actually know what's going on inside their head.

With villains/whumpers, you have to understand their belief system, their goals, and their drive that pits them against the hero/whumpee. I know people in the whump community are typically pretty lazy with this, but if you're wanting the writing advice that you should follow in any story, then...you know. Stop looking at whump writing for examples (and by this I mean MOST, not ALL. I found a couple like @deluxewhump and @whumpzone most notably, who have well-formed characters and cohesive progression of arcs.).

And I don't say this to sound high and mighty, so I hope it doesn't come off that way. I just get frustrated, having studied writing and characters my whole life, seeing such flat writing being excused because of its so-called whump content. T_T Moving on, though! I struggle with concern over certain characters I have coming off as cartoonishly abusive, as well, such as Mother in Little Bird, which I just recently published a sample of here. It's a little hard for me to describe the intricacies of my thought process when trying to assure big, awful villains come off as realistic, but the first step is definitely their reason for doing it in the first place.

To use Mother as an example, I added elements of her environment to make sure that violence and extreme brutality were part of her world, her upbringing, and the dynamic she has with her son, Ellum, in general. So she's the partner of a Russian pakhan, a leader of a syndicate. This is a particularly brutal environment, which offers the perfect space to breed cruelty and nurse bad habits. She can get away with abusing her son, she has more aggravators around her that can set off her anger, and since I gave her the added struggle of mental disorders, her unstable state is even further kicked out of balance by the way she lives.

With creepy and possessive whumpers, or otherwise captors like you mentioned, think of irl serial killers. Behind almost all of them and their extreme brutality, there was a mother or parent who was awful to them in their childhood. An unstable environment and a horrible upbringing would lead to a cycle of abuse and, later on, someone who would hurt others out of "love" or "lust", because their impulse control is extremely low.

The most important thing is to show more than one side to your villain, because humans in general do things that they believe are correct. The villain has to believe in himself and think that what he's doing is the right answer to whatever he's dealing with, internally or externally. He loves someone, he wants them to love him back. They don't love him back? Well, he'll make them. They still won't? Well he'll show them what they get for rejecting him. He doesn't want to get hurt anymore, and they hurt his feelings, so they deserve X, Y, or Z because of it.

And his motivation could be just pure selfishness. He wants it, he gets it. They don't have to agree or consent. Going back to Mother from Little Bird, she takes from Ellum because it makes her happy, and forcing him to be codependent on her fulfills her need to be needed, so she wrongly treats him almost as a lover to fill the hole that her husband leaves, since he's emotionally detached and uninterested in her. She feels rejected, so she goes after an easier prey.

To summarize, hopefully, because I never know if I'm speaking coherently enough for it to be understood lol, "Sure, he's a terrible person" should be followed by "but why is he a terrible person? What made him that way? Why doesn't he just stop and try to be normal?" And that should help you begin to understand your villain's motivation for cruelty.

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK LIL WHALE, IT WAS FUN TO ANSWER THIS ONE! I hope it helps.

[good-beans]

Alm from FE Echoes (for the character ask game!!)

Thank you for the ask :D I'm always lookin for a good excuse to ramble about echoes :')

-How I feel about this character: A wonderful boy who deserves the world !! Honestly, I love how he was the classic nobody-thrown-into-the-hero/leader/ruler-role trope, but he's written very normal, and not like a larger than life hero. He's confused, scared, angry. He cries, he makes puns. He has to make tough calls but he makes them. He leans on others, and he inspires others. He's very clearly a kid just doing his best, but his best is enough and it's beautiful! 

-All the people I ship romantically with this character: I do only see him with Celica! I think some of their relationship had wonky writing (rushed meeting time, weird argument) but it doesn't stop them from having potential for a very beautiful and healing relationship postgame. They're good for each other and understand the other like no one else would. (I do think Clair crushing on him is sweet, but I’m too obsessed with what she’s got with Gray too actually ship her and Alm.)

-My non-romantic OTP for this character: Rip, I know this is where I'm supposed to say one of the childhood friend villagers, but my trio biased answer is that I really love the mentoring relationship he has with Lukas. He grew up surrounded by all the loud personalities of Ram Village -- it makes me happy seeing him with the patient, stable guidance of someone who actually understands this insane new world of war and nobility that Alm was just thrust into.

-My unpopular opinion about this character: I... don't think he was right, in the balcony argument. (I know it's for the story and there'd be no game without it lol) but I really think Celica had the only valid point of "let's not start a war and at least look for a peaceful solution first." I wish she had gotten more credit for having an equally righteous solution, rather than Alm’s war plan being the only one that worked. 

-One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Just some more closure, honestly. He got to react a bit to killing his father, but we don't see any type of release (much less closure) after killing Berkut, nearly losing Celica, and killing the gods. It would have been satisfying to give him that kind of emotional attention after such an intense finale, but I understand why it was better just to move on to the kingdom celebrations haha

[lady-starbind]

A very random ramble about fiction ideas... some which might could turn into fanfics lol

As a person who enjoys writing, I've made a few fanfics and a few original pieces of writing in my time... Funny, when I first started being on the internet, I didn't really fancy myself as a writer... but now? I think it's one of my passions... or at least, writing ties into my passion of creating characters, and building worlds for them. Whether that be some fanon (like Splatoon or Pokemon, ect) or my own original work. Creating or thinking about characters/fictional worlds is something that I think about on a daily basis, whether that entails trying to create fiction, or simply enjoying a walk through the realms of my imagination lol. I have all sorts of random ideas in mind... some that could have fanfic potential, and others are just dumb thoughts ig. These random ideas that could potentially be crafted into stories/scenarios include: A dumb fic/scenario idea of how my Undertale/Deltarune sona (who's a snow woman monster), might meet North Star/Starlo from UTY... Perhaps him and his family could be selling corn to the residents of Snowdin, in which my sona would get to know him as they sell their corn there... She'd get a huge dumb crush on him, but wait for him to ask her out because she's old fashioned... Later on, she notices that he's rather happy. And when she asks him why, he ends up telling her that he and his childhood crush are finally going out. Cue my sona to making a friendly/not rude excuse to go back home and then once returning home, proceeding to cry of heartbreak... In the end, this works for the best, because my sona prolly couldn't handle the climate of the dunes lol. (she also does her best to be happy for Starlo and Ceroba lol... after she mourns her heartbreak) ....I'd like to imagine the my sona and Starlo remain as friends by the end of the fic

And of course another fic idea I have that I would love to attempt is a Side Order fic... We honestly don't know much about Splatoon 3's Side Order yet BUT I'M HOPING AGENT 4 GETS CAUGHT UP IN IT... It would make for some great angst between Cryo and Tom. (Tom is my Agent 4 lol) ....Like perhaps Tom and Nestor (my Agents 4 and 8) would be going to Inkopolis Square for old time's sake or something.... Then the events of Side Order happens. Perhaps Tom and Nestor both go missing, and with her best friend Tom gone missing, Cryo goes to Inkopolis Square to investigate, only to be caught up in the Side Order antics as well! ....I imagine she and Nestor would play the role of Agent 8, with Nestor taking on missions by Daylight, and Cryo taking on missions by Moonlight... (in my Splatoon fanon, Cryo is known as Agent Ice) ...if the Splatbands make cameos as NPCs to rescue, and those NPCs included Ikkan and Warabi, that could potentially make for some fun interactions between Cryo and Tom! (since in my fanon, both Cryo and Tom are musicians and end up at least being friends with Ikkan and Warabi) ...tbh I've gotten so attached to my oc x canon ship Cryo x Ikkan, I might just make it canon to my fanon. And seeing Diss-Pair in Side Order, would give me the chance to see if such a silly ship could be viable to my fanon lol. (if not, then it could have the event of Ikkan rejecting Cryo's feelings and heartbreak ensues for the poor Octoling) SPEAKING OF IKKYO I definitely intend to continue the oc x canon fic, seeing as it's my favorite oc x canon ship of mine.... I can't help it, I ship them so hard. ;w; So much so, I might make it canon to my main fanon. I've got rough ideas for Chapters 4 and 5, as well as Chapter 3 being mainly done, just not posted lol. Speaking of Undertale, Undertale Yellow and Ikkyo, I have another dumb fiction idea that might not be turned into fanfiction, but it's fun to think about: Like an UT AU where the monsters and humans live on the surface, and maybe there's this fair/event for monsters and humans to maybe work together, like mentors and kids who look up to them? Like Clover looking up to Starlo, since he's a rootin tootin cowboy... (ok so he's still just a dweeb farmer who enjoys LARPing as a Sheriff, but they look up to him nonetheless) And Tom (who in my UT fanon does the role of Frisk) maybe looking up to Mettaton and wishing to take the stage, albeit by playing the saxophone rather than being a famous actor/star like Mettaton. And Cryo, who looks up to Ikkan (who might could be a squid monster in this AU?) who's the bassist of the band Diss-Pair. (in this scenario Ikkyo is not shipped romantically, but purely in a wholesome, platonic manner) Also it's fun to imagine Tom and Clover being friends and chilling out like pals... It's also fun to imagine how the kids would get along with their mentors, and how they might look up to them... Especially Starlo and Clover, like maybe he could be the cool farmer/cowboy uncle they never had and they enjoy playing Wild West with him as well as maybe helping him on his farm sometimes... Looking up to the funny star monster and aspiring to be like him someday~ I dunno man... imagining fictional scenarios is just too much fun for me lol

(Also just want to point out that any dynamics between adults and minors here are STRICTLY platonic, as we do not romantically ship adults and minors here!)

[melodyplucked]

when big red told him he was getting married... suffice it to say ricky was caught extremely off guard. when had this happened? honestly even big red's europe trip had surprised him a lot. but then again, the italian culinary expedition trip he signed up for sparking his fancy made sense. even if big red always seemed more than satisfied back at slices. ricky's pretty sure though that red's yet to set foot in france- not after the whole antoine thing. good for big red though, seeing the world, and apparently finding love? ricky has yet to find someone else he could honestly say he was in love with. not that he hasn't tried here and there in the last four years since nini... to limited success... but he's tried.

nini salazar-roberts, the love of his life... his childhood best friend, the one person who truly seemed to understand him. creatively, he'd found his niche fairly quickly. after a night out in his first few weeks in los angeles after graduation led him to meeting just the right person, ricky found himself working with a music producer. writing songs and being able to let them get out in the world was a really beautiful thing. learning to produce and have even more control over his work, it felt even better. and sure, a lot of his work no one knows is his, who's looking at the writers and producers on a track besides the artist's name, but he loves creating. and well- there's nothing ricky bowen does so well as a love song. writing about love, pain, loss, it's cathartic- and people resonate with it because it's so genuine and real. he knows the somewhat success he's found isn't what most people are striving for in the industry- but being able to go to new york and la and play shows for a few hundred people and having the crowd singing the words he wrote back to him, it's fulfilling. just the music is enough. and his recent lead single charting admittedly felt pretty incredible- even if he knows everyone thinks it's for heather.

nini was also probably the only person who'd understand how absolutely bizarre it was that their best friends were getting married. kourtney and big red? there were times kourtney barely tolerated being friends with ricky's best friend. it's honestly a little shocking they were even dating let alone engaged. but one thing that couldn't be a shock is seeing nini in this hotel lobby this afternoon. kourtney's best friend. the obvious maid of honor to his own role as best man. he hasn't talked to her in about a year. deep down he kind of knew it was her controlling boyfriend, even though she never said it in so many words. they spent hours talking for a while, then things trickled away and he knew something was off. and then he saw her with brody walker. her lack of communication made sense. he kinda thought about texting, or even calling her up, when he saw that she was pretty obviously single. but he also kind of knew that since she was the one to cut contact, it might be smarter to let her be the one to initiate it, lest she had his number blocked or something. so they haven't spoken in like a year now- though he's pretty confident she's heard the song... he's not going to let this be awkward.

❝    hey neens!    ❞    said with a bright grin as he walks over to her, wrapping her up in a hug without taking a moment to question if that might make her uncomfortable after so long.   ❝    definitely weird... never saw this coming- but hey, i'm happy if they're happy right? and uh- good excuse to see you too. i've missed you, nini.    ❞ maybe a bit candid for his first conversation with his ex girlfriend in a year- but she's not just an ex. she was his best friend for years. he doesn't want to be awkward- he just wants to be her friend again. he has a feeling they can likely pick up where they left off.

❝    but uh- how was your flight? did you get checked in here yet? the place seems pretty busy but i couldn't help but want to pop back down here to check out the restaurant, maybe once we do get your room handled i could buy you some lunch?    ❞    head tilts aside with a curious expression.

four    years    had    passed    since    they'd    broken    up.    three    since    they'd    graduated    high    school,    though    not    from    the    same    school.    nini    had    been    in    los    angeles    for    almost    four    years    now    and    she    had    found    moderate    success.    she    was    happy.    she'd    signed    to    a    small,    indie    label    and    had    been    putting    out    music    regularly,    and    writing    for    other    artists    on    the    side.    she'd    just    moved    into    her    dream    house    and    was    busy    making    it    a    home,    and    she    was    about    to    embark    on    her    first    ever    headlining    tour.    

and    then    her    best    friend    had    called    and    said    she'd    fallen    head    over    heels    for    someone    and    they    were    getting    married,    and    would    she    please    fly    to    prague    for    a    wedding?    and    how    could    nini    say    no    to    kourtney?    she    just    hadn't    expected    that    someone    to    be    big    red.    she'd    never    expected    those    two    to    get    together,    but    a    whirlwind    romance    when    they'd    met    up    at    a    hostel    in    europe    had    been    all    they'd    needed    to    ignite    the    spark.    

she    probably    should    have    been    expecting    that    ricky    would    be    here,    too.    big    red    was    his    best    friend,    like    kourt    was    hers.    but,    they    hadn't    talked    in    nearly    a    year,    since    nini    had    met    brody,    and    started    dating    him    —    he    hadn't    liked    ricky    very    much,    and    made    it    known.    but    now,    nini    was    single,    and    she    was    kind    of    excited    when    she    saw    ricky    standing    in    the    lobby    of    the    hotel    she'd    booked    a    room    in.

❝    ricky...    hey.    ❞    she    says,    taking    a    breath    as    she    starts    to    walk    closer    to    him.    maybe    this    was    a    good    thing.    they    needed    to    talk.    needed    to    catch    up.    she    had    missed    him,    and    finally    freeing    herself    from    the    grip    her    ex    had    on    her    felt    so    good    —    if    she    hadn't    fucked    up    their    friendship    over    the    last    year,    maybe    things    could    be    good    between    them    again.    ❝    this    is    really    weird,    isn't    it?    ❞

@melodyplucked

[lucarioisinthevoid]

(Random drabble I decided to write! Have it as an apology for how little I’m created. Just some backstory stuff that is canon to my Henry- and inspired by another story. If you actually know where this comes from, you’ll get something from me and also we can both sit in shame.) ---- The first and only time Henry Miller broke the law ---

The boy was sitting in the room over. They left him alone to stew a little- and to review the footage, to be sure about what happened. The cameras they had put up were brand new and not all that obvious, cameras in general were still unreliable, cutting in and out at seemingly random intervals. Newest tech indeed. Though it was still amazing what it could do and see, even on grainy, black-and-white footage. The owner, Frank, was glancing at the door, not quite believing what his staff was telling him. Henry Miller, honest to god Henry Miller, who was always eager to help out, who treated everyone with amazement and enthusiasm, no matter what they did and how they acted in return- They caught him steal. Casually stuffing his pockets here and there. It just didn’t seem to make sense- they knew this boy. When he was younger, he every now and again got a few bonbons from Frank, as he was wandering the store, bugging the staff before his mother quickly came to pick him up, always apologizing, but never being a problem. Hell, he sometimes helped out, insisting it was only because he wanted to, never accepting any sort of pay for his efforts. It’s fun! That was always what he said and Frank envied and admired his ability to see pleasure in everything. Even in things as stocking shelves or mopping some floors. His innocence was magnificent. Was. Seeing how Henry had just been walking around, lining his pockets- Now they didn’t find anything in his pockets, he must have gotten rid of it between then and now. He sighed. Maybe it was just that age, where children turned into teenagers and did stupid things. He would go in, hear his apology, give him a stern talking to and then let him go again. After all, he was such a good boy. No needs to get any police involved, only his parents had been informed and they were on their way to come and pick him up. Quietly Frank sighed to himself again. Such a shame, but it was something every growing person had to go through. As he opened the door, his eyes fell on Henry who was crying, pressing his hands against his eyes, rubbing, hysterically breathing, broken by hiccups. Oh, he was in for one hell of an apology. He had to hide a small smile- after all Henry had only been trying to steal candy. A lot of it, but it wasn’t the end of the world! Yet here he sat, all shaken up. Poor boy probably considered himself a devil now- after his first time acting out. Well, he would set him straight gently. Sitting down across from him, he looked at the boy, calmly speaking up. “One of our stores employees said he saw you steal quite a bit of candy. What do you have to say for yourself?” Leaning back, he got ready to tell the kid it was okay, that it was- “I- I didn’t do-o it!” Instantly, Frank froze, something cold climbing up his neck as he looked at Henry again. Henry who was looking up at him with pure DESPERATION in his eyes, shaking to his core at the accusation. “Sir, I- I don’t know why he- he would say that- but- I’m-“ Once more a flood of tears burst out of him. “I was j-just looking for my f-friend- I just- I wanted to- and then he GRABBED me- h-he told me I- I would get i-into a TON of t-trouble-“ Frank just stared, transfixed on the scene, slowly nodding. “S-said he A-ALWAYS knew I- I was a troublemaker- and- and I was SCARED-“ Breaking off, he desperately tried to take a deep breath, failing miserably, accidentally swallowing on his hiccups, leading to a coughing fit. He looked MISERABLE. “A-and I- I asked wh-what I DID- and- he- he said NOTHING, ‘you d-did NOTHING, b-but I’m telling Frank- I’m telling h-him you tried t-to steal!’ H-he said ‘I- I’m telling Frank that- that you’re a little R-RAT!’” The employee was a new hire. Someone who didn’t know Henry very well, not like a good amount of the other employees. Was this planned? Henry continued, sincerity oozing from his words, drenched in hurt pride and pain. “A-and I said- ‘No- no way he’ll believe you! H-he knows me!’ a-and that was when th-the guy gr-grabbed me even TIGHTER- so my wrist w-went all red-“ He showed off his red wrist- unmistakable fingers marks, with the place where nails dug in clearly visible, still red. “H-he grabbed me a-and said ‘wanna bet?! Wanna bet?!’ a-and that was when he dragged me h-here and threw me i-in! Then h-he locked the door- I swear! I- I swear I didn’t do anything! I- I don’t know what I did w-wrong! I didn’t take ANYTHING! Y-you can check m-my bag again-” It was unbelievable. Unbelievable in that he would have believed Henry under any other circumstance. He was too young to lie like this. Digging his nails into his own face, as he kept weeping and weeping, shaking his head while hiding his face. “I- I just don’t w-want you to b-be angry with me, s-sir! I swear, I swear, I- I would never do that! P-please, I don’t kn-know WHY he was s-so ANGRY- but- I just- I was just c-coming in to see i-if-“ Frank forced himself to take a deep beath and play along. “Please Henry, calm down. When did he ask you to come with him?” “J-Just when- when I was about to leave- it scared me so b-bad- I th-though I accidentally br-broke something or-” “What did you say he said you did?” “Th-that I- that I stole s-something!” “What exactly?” “I DON’T KNOW!” The boy howled in agony. “I- I DIDN’T- I’M SORRY, I D-DIDN’T TOUCH ANYTHING- PL-PLEASE BELIEVE ME!” For a moment Frank looked at him, feeling numb, his lips and fingers as though something had sapped all energy out of him. With a dry tongue he got out the words. “… Henry. We have you on the new security cameras. I know you tried stealing.” It was like a flip was switched- All of a sudden, silence. It looked like something fell out of Henry’s face, all life, all energy, all expression. Blankly he stared up at the adult in the room. The tears quenched, already staining into thin lines. Only ever so slightly a frown formed. And then he opened his mouth, his words almost unrecognizable. “Then why were you wasting my time just now?” - Years had come and gone. Frank was still managing his little store, though he considered finally finding someone who would be good to take over his place. For now though, he was doing fine, a bit of coffee in the morning, that he drank while reading the newspaper. One day though he almost started coughing when his eyes fell on something- A death announcement. Mr. & Mrs. Miller. In loving memory… tragic passing during a terrible catastrophe nobody could have predicted… announcing the funeral during… at… Slowly he put down the paper and checked the calendar. When he arrived at the graveyard during the ceremony, he carried the flowers, planning to put them on the grave after everything else had passed. But what he most wanted to see, needed to see- Henry stood amidst the group of mourning adults. Pressing his knuckles against his eyes. Shaking in his despair. Digging his nails into his head as he shook his head, hiding his face. Weeping in all the right ways. Frank felt sick to the stomach, his hands balling into fists, as he remembered, the poor guy was barely eighteen and lost his parents to a fire, to a malfunction, it had to have been a traumatic accident- He was shaking, goosebumps crawling up his arms, despite it being a wonderful summer day. And then, for a second- Henry’s eyes met his own. And there was nothing inside, no expression on the face, the tear stains utterly out of place, almost like drawn on. Abruptly Frank turned to the grave he was next to, kneeling down, pretending to pay his respect to the stranger resting in the ground beneath him. He prayed, yes he prayed for a moment or two, in front of the grave of a family he didn’t know, who’s names were in no way affiliated with his own- Placing the flowers onto the earth in front of him, he turned to walk away, his hands shaking. Still praying. Horrible accidents happened all the time. This tragedy messed with anyone who heard about it.

[nxrthmizu]

happy birthday — tsukishima kei

pairing | tsukishima kei x reader

genre | fluff

w.c | 1.6k

↪ part two of this

second chance // an opportunity to try something again after failing one time

tsukishima kei wasn't expecting anyone. sure, it was his birthday, but he did have work the next day, and wasn't very keen on drinking himself senseless into the witching hour.

since yamaguchi, his mother, and akiteru had taken it upon themselves to inform half of japan of his birthdate, kei had just spent the past four hours repeating 'thank you' to people ranging from his junior high schoolmates and strangers he had never met. he was certain that 99% of the players involved with the japan volleyball league had shown up, much to the amazement of his museum colleagues.

the bell rings for the third time, and kei is suddenly hyperaware of how annoying the sound is. he had just sat down, for goodness's sake— was it too much to ask for one minute of rest?

with his socializing energy at an all-time-low, kei nearly tears the door off his hinges, greeting his unwelcome visitor with a fierce snarl. "what do you want—" the words clamp down on his throat, breaking his airflow for a whole five seconds as he stares, utterly floored. "... y/n?"

"...hey?" you look sheepish, holding a small, one-cake-slice-sized box in your hand. he's known you long enough to know that you did your makeup on the fly— the tremble of your eyeliner is a sure giveaway. "... uh... is this a bad time? cause i can come back later—"

"no!" he blurts, hands slamming onto the door frame. he hadn't caught a glimpse of you in six months, ever since that fateful night when you walked out through the same door you were now standing in front of. there wasn't a single night in those six, grueling months that he didn't think about you, or the warm feeling of having you contained within his arms. sure, there were nights when you two fought, heading to bed with your backs faced to each other— but when morning came, you would somehow be in his arms, and somehow kei just knew that things would blow over.

except maybe they didn't.

left with too much time to think, he analyzed every little argument the two of you ever had, critically examining every word he uttered. perhaps the break was needed— the two of you needed to take a step backwards, re-assessing what you two wanted for each other, what you two wanted together. what you said that night hadn't be wrong— there were just too many issues being swept under the rug, too many things you weren't communicating about, too many problems he elected to ignore, in hopes that they would just 'blow over'.

"i mean," he clears his throat, lifting his hand off the doorframe, groaning at the paint scratch he caused. "would... would you like to come in?"

mentally, he smacks his forehead. you don't need permission to enter! in his mind, kei still considers the apartment your home, too. even if you haven't stepped foot within its grounds for half a year.

"if that's okay?" you smile softly, holding up your cake box. "you've probably had some already, but i bought your favorite. if you're full, you could have it tomorrow morning, before work?"

"no, no, i'm not that full." kei instantly assures, even though he's already brushed his teeth. on normal circumstances, he would leave it for the next morning, but what was brushing his teeth one more time if he got to talk to you for the first time in over a hundred-eighty days?

you narrow your eyes at him playfully. "don't lie to me, tsukishima kei. i can smell your toothpaste. i'll leave it in the fridge."

a fond smirk dances over his lips as you brush past him into your apartment, leaving your shoes where you always do on the shoe rack. the sound of your sock-clad feet padding past the living room brings a truckload of tension that kei didn't know he had off his shoulders, and all of a sudden, the house feels a thousand times cozier, even if nothing materialistic has changed.

he watches you from the sofa as you bustle around the kitchen, and he knows by the number of beeps on the electric stove that you're boiling water for tea— green, probably. the ration of tea packets are restocked regularly, because when you moved in, you brought your tea addiction with you, too. kei's been lured into drinking it on a daily basis, right after dinner, as a way of calming himself down after a day of work and practice. typically, tea would be accompanied with you, snuggled up against his side as he complained about the kids he met at work that day (you both knew that he had a secret fondness for them, but shhh).

"i hope you don't mind. i made tea." you say, bringing the glass teapot you were adamant on buying a year ago. it was one of the best purchases kei ever made in the apartment, because he was reminded of the worth every single time the two of you did your regular tea routine.

"of course i don't mind." he replies instantly, picking up his mug (the green one with tiny dinos on the edge). "this is still your home, too. you don't have to ask to do anything."

he pretends not to see the flash of surprise across your features.

"right." you murmur, pressing your mug onto your lips, blowing gently on the surface.

the two of you sit in silence for a while, sipping on your tea as the clock ticks onto eleven o' clock. suppressing the urge to ask you to stay, kei taps the surface of his porcelain cup rhythmically, forgetting that you know all his tells, front to back.

"is there something on your mind?" you ask gently, setting your mug down. he grimaces.

"ah... it's nothing." kei brushes off, not wanting to come onto you too quickly. for all he knew, you were just here to deliver the cake, not to reignite whatever was left of the relation he let simmer for too long...

"... right." the tone of your voice spells i-know-you're-lying-to-me,-but-i'll-let-it-go-for-now.

the silence continues, like a set prolonged. it's starting to get on kei's nerves when you (thankfully) speak again.

"happy birthday."

"thank you." even though he's said those words a thousand times that night, it sounds a comparatively much less robotic than it had for the previous thousand times. perhaps it was thousand-first time's the charm. "i mean it. thank you for coming over."

you wave it off. "i couldn't have not come. tadashi sent me an invite, but my boss needed me to work late and i didn't manage to make it."

ah, so that was why his best friend routinely glanced at the entrance nervously throughout the night. that explained a lot.

"i don't mind." kei takes a sip of his green tea, enjoying the warmth that courses through his chest. it isn't warmer than the warmth you give him, though. "i like it like this. ... just the two of us, i mean."

you contemplate him for a moment. "i like it like this, too." you confess quietly, as if whispering a childhood secret to him behind the karasuno gym.

he couldn't bear it any longer. he's always been patient, yes, but he's seen the looks his mother and brother threw him through the night, because they both knew that the one person that really mattered wasn't there. he was pretty sure his mother was just about to introduce him to some random girl before he excused himself for the night.

"will you stay?" he blurts, feeling very un-tsukishima-kei-like. it isn't like him at all, to be brash, and bold, but how can he? for the past four hours, he's talked to countless people— heck, half of them were volleyball celebrities— but not the one he wanted to talk to.

"do you want me to?" you ask softly, shyly, and kei knows that you're thinking if he wants you back— which is stupid, honestly. he knows that you're always thinking that you're lucky to have him, when it should be the other way around. kei doesn't think there's anyone else willing to put up with his dry humor, his hectic schedule, and his dinosaur memorabilia. if anything, he should be the one thanking the gods for letting him have you.

"don't be stupid." he snaps, cringing internally at how his tone came off. "of course i want you to stay, you're the best thing that happened to me. i won't force you, but—"

"i left some clothes here, right?" you cut him off with a hum, and when kei looks into your eyes, he just knows.

there's still a long, long, long way for the two of you to go. there's still plenty of things he needs to learn. there's a pile of issues in the store room that needed to be tended to.

for every million arguments there are a billion conversations where you two need to sit down and work out the knots. for every insecurity, for every misunderstanding, for every conflict, there is a needed effort to clean up the mess properly instead of just sweeping it under the floorboards. but for every tangle there lies between the two of you, there is a universe of room to grow, and change.

kei knows he's willing to make an effort, for you. kei knows that he's willing to do anything to make sure you don't walk out that door without looking back again. kei knows he's willing to do every single thing he can do (and can't) to make it work.

he knows.

he looks into your eyes, and he smiles.

everything is going to be alright.

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