#honestly I could have written a stronger title

[nashcandream]

Set A Timer Saturday WIP

Just a scene that would not leave my mind, so I decided to flesh it out a little on paper. Basically, I set a timer for 30 minutes and write as much as I can before taking a break. Wash, rinse, repeat until the scene is written.

Setting: Pantry, kitchen, and dining area of the Lighthouse

Characters: Lucanis and unnamed elven Rook (they/she pronouns)

Summary: A post-Treviso/Minrathous conversation with a drunk and exhausted Rook. During the course of the conversation, Lucanis realizes the two met as children (over twenty years ago).

Character Note: Rook is not a Crow. They are a veil jumper with ties to Antiva and Orlais (specifically the Emerald Graves region).

Word Count: 1.7k

Snippet:

After what felt like eternity, Rook’s sobs began to wane and give way to a dreadful silence. Lucanis continued to sit as a stone statue, watching as the steam from the mug soon disappeared. Having seen the storm and the quiet that follows, Lucanis much preferred the tears to Rook’s current state of catatonia. When they finally straightened in the chair, face void of color, eyes swollen and red, Lucanis found himself sighing in relief. 

“I’m sorry.” Rook croaked from the back of their worn throat.

“You don’t have to keep apologizing,” Lucanis began, his tone filled with a warmth not previously offered, “You had to make a terrible choice today. There wasn’t a right or wrong one…there was simply the choice. And you had to make it.”

Chapter Title and Number Unknown

Lucanis sat on his cot, his back pressed against the cold stone wall, eyes fighting to remain open before finally settling on closed. He had been slipping between wakefulness and sleep for hours, the cup of coffee having grown cold in his hands. His grasp on the mug began to loosen, and a stillness loomed in the room. His breathing shifted, shoulders dropped, and soon Lucanis’ mind began to drift further from reality. Buried in his chest, a restless Spite gnawed at the weakening restraints of fading consciousness. 

The sound of a ceramic mug crashing against the dining hall floor, followed by a soft but familiar groan of irritation brought Lucanis back to the pantry. He stood and rubbed the back of his neck and with only a few steps, opened the door separating the two spaces. How much time had passed?

“Rook?” Lucanis watched as the smaller figure struggled to stand, broken mug in hand. 

“I’m sorry”, Rook groaned, placing the fragments on the coffee bar next to them. “I just wanted tea. Did I wake you?” They sounded…off. Tired in a much different way. Their normal bright demeanor had been replaced with disheveled exhaustion. The redness of their eyes gave way to the mystery long before Lucanis smelled the richness of wine. 

“You didn’t. I was going over the report from Minrathous again.” He closed the distance between the two, a sly grin creeping at the corners of his mouth. “Rook…are you…” Lucanis paused for a moment because the word sounded so absurd, “drunk?” He finished with a restrained chuckle, despite knowing the answer. Despite Rook having never entertained even a taste of anything stronger than strongly brewed black tea. 

Rook could only nod before bursting into a sorrowful grin. “I want to say Bellara talked me into this but, really, I talked her into it.” They shook their head, palms pressing hard against closed eyes. “I can’t believe I actually made it to the kitchen. I honestly thought I would end up walking off the edge and into the fade.” Rook laughed nervously, wavering on their feet. For a brief moment, Lucanis considered reaching out his hand to steady them but thought better of it. Instead, he gestured to the nearby table and chairs. 

“What if I made your tea? I really don’t think you should be boiling water right now. Do you?” He pulled out a chair. Rook sighed, resolved to their fate, and sluggishly collapsed into the chair. Lucanis clapped the back of the chair before returning to the coffee bar. He gently pushed aside the broken pieces of mug, reaching instead for a blend of ginger and lemon tea. 

“For the record,” Rook grumbled as Lucanis filled the kettle with water, “I wasn’t planning on actually boiling an entire pot. I was just going to heat the water quickly in my mug by hand.” 

“That sounds like it would have made a terrible cup of tea.” Lucanis remarked with a note of disgust. He placed the kettle on the stovetop and coils reacted knowingly. 

“Oh it would have been,” Rook agreed with a laugh, “The heat boils the water too fast, burning the leaves and making everything bitter in the worst way.” They made a gagging face, head shaking. “It just saves time and energy, so I’m willing to settle.” 

“That is what I do not understand about mages.” Lucanis began, eyes rolling with a chuckle. “You waste magic on the most mundane tasks. The tea is better if you take the time to brew it, so why take shortcuts?”

“Didn’t you just scold me for attempting to make tea drunk in the first place?” Rook volleyed with a laugh that echoed off the walls of the dining room. Lucanis raised his hands, nodding in concession.

“Alright, alright. This time, you get a pass.” He returned his attention to the now whistling kettle. “I have to admit, I never thought I would see this side of you.” Lucanis poured the boiling water over the strainer of tea leaves. Once brewed, he added the smallest spoon of sugar and a round slice of whole lemon. He knew Rook preferred milk but thought better of it, given the particular brew and reason behind it. Lucanis returned to the table and placed the mug in front of Rook. He stood in awkward silence as Rook stared at the steam, their expression lost and seemingly transfixed elsewhere. Why did I say that…

The tears and choked sobs were yet another surprise. “Rook, I..” Lucanis began, panicked. He took a seat next to them, unsure of how to proceed. First, they were drunk and now…this. They had always been sunlight personified, a sharp edge that pushed every boundary in the book if it meant the safety of others. At times, they were simply too much life and light. But now…now. 

“I’m sorry,” Rook apologized again for the second time that evening. “Fuck. I’m so sorry.” Lucanis remained silent and still, painfully aware this regret had little to do with the tears but rather what caused them to begin with. Rook continued to sob and Lucanis moved his chair closer, sighing. Rook’s body crumpled into a heap around their knees, eyes closed and buried behind long strands of thick brown hair. Lucanis raised his hand and started to rest it on Rook’s back before the deepening, swelling smell of smoke inside him reared back the motion. He would not leave them, though. He could not.

After what felt like eternity, Rook’s sobs began to wane and give way to a dreadful silence. Lucanis continued to sit as a stone statue, watching as the steam from the mug soon disappeared. Having seen the storm and the quiet that follows, Lucanis much preferred the tears to Rook’s current state of catatonia. When they finally straightened in the chair, face void of color, eyes swollen and red, Lucanis found himself sighing in relief. 

“I’m sorry.” Rook croaked from the back of their worn throat.

“You don’t have to keep apologizing,” Lucanis began, his tone filled with a warmth not previously offered, “You had to make a terrible choice today. There wasn’t a right or wrong one…there was simply the choice. And you had to make it.”

“I know I’m not from Treviso, that I wasn’t born there,” Rook began with a sniffle, finally taking a sip of what Lucanis assumed had been forgotten tea, “But Treviso will always be home. It’s where my dad lives now, where we came when our Dalish clan cast us out…I selfishly wanted to save my home and family. Which means I had to sacrifice Neve’s home and countless families in Minrathous.” Rook choked back another sob, tears streaming down the sides of closed lids. They took a few deep breaths before looking at Lucanis, green eyes wide and glistening. “But you’re right. There was never a good choice. Or a right choice. And even though that should make me feel better, it doesn’t. Nothing about today feels okay.” Rook sighed and took another sip of the drink Lucanis prepared. They held the mug in their hands a moment before setting it back down with care. “Well…except for maybe right now. This…helped. You helped.”  Rook offered a crooked smile. “Thank you, Lucanis.”

“I…just made the tea. And tried not to get in the way.” Lucanis joked, leaning back in his chair, seemingly more relaxed now that the crisis appeared to have passed. Rook offered a garbled but genuine laugh.

“Truthfully? I drank so I would cry.” Rook shook their head. “I hate crying. I am terrible with sadness in general. I just…sometimes I think I can be a little too optimistic for my own good.”

“You hang on to hope more than most of the people I have met. But that is not necessarily a bad thing. Where would we be if you gave up?” Lucanis offered. 

“Yeah, I guess someone has to be chaotically positive to keep everyone else going.” Rook joked, though their face soon dropped. “The others…Lucanis, I don’t…If anyone else saw me like this..” Rook shook their head feverishly, distressed.

“Hey, hey…” Lucanis began, his tone calm and reassuring, “No one else has to know about this. I won’t tell anyone you were rightfully drunk and crying.” Rook laughed and swallowed their sobs. “You don’t want anyone to know and I…I can understand that.” 

Rook smiled through wet lashes, extending one hand with a crooked pink. “Do you promise?” They asked. Lucanis rolled his eyes and wrapped his finger around theirs. 

“I promise…” The words echoed against his mind, shaking free a long-buried memory. Their hair was shorter then, as was his. The smell of the canals in the drowned district, the empty and almost entirely sunken warehouse. The bright lights of forbidden magic and yet another pinky promise.

Lucanis held their gaze for a moment too long. He knew them. They met over twenty years ago, as children. How could he have forgotten? Did Rook know? Had they been keeping this a secret the whole time, waiting for Lucanis to remember? Something for the two of them to laugh about? But Rook appeared unfazed as their hand slipped from his. And now Lucanis was unsure…His own memory was fractured but blinding in its insistence…

Rook swayed in the chair. “Lucanis?” They shuddered. “I think I might be sick…” Lucanis quickly retrieved a clean bucket from cleaning storage and returned it just in time. Rook heaved and Lucanis sighed, his hand gently pulling together their hair as the other rested against their back. Once he managed to clean them up, Lucanis helped Rook into the cot in the pantry. 

“I’m stealing your bed..” Rook protested sleepily, their body finally giving way beneath the weight of the blanket.

“I wasn’t planning on using it any time soon.” Lucanis replied, tucking the clean bucket next to the cot along with a fresh mug of water. He stood back and smiled. Rook was already fast asleep, their back rising and falling with each breath. Once he was convinced she would not stir, Lucanis retrieved a thin black journal from his belongings. He took a seat on the ground opposite the bed and began taking notes, not of the day but the fragmented memory of his childhood. The pieces of a past that created ties to the present. 

---

Story Note: Eventually, this will be a chapter in the fic I am working on titled Hope Springs Eternal. The premise being...Rook is unknowingly "possessed" with a spirit of hope that was once imprisoned with the Gods. A ritual resulted in the escape of the spirit but caused a fracture in the fade prison. This journey unlocks their true identity and the challenges of such.

[ofliterarynature]

FEBRUARY 2025 WRAP UP

[ loved liked okay nope dnf (reread) book club* ]

First Test • Changeless • Penric and the Shaman • The Poisoner's Handbook • Everfair • Shades of Milk and Honey • Adrift in Currents Clean and Clear • The Archive of the Forgotten* • Penric's Fox • The Girl from the Sea • (Wizard's First Rule) • Blameless

* * * * *

First Test (graphic novel) - Protector of the Small is one of my favorite series of all time I think, so I was very excited to see we were getting a graphic novel adaptation! Even if it then took me almost a year to read. This was fun to flip through and I had a good time, but not really anything stronger than that (it could never match up to the book). And it cut enough from the story that I wonder how it reads for someone unfamiliar with the original.

Changeless - I wasn't entirely sold on the first book, but decided to pick up the second one anyway because it was at least entertaining. I liked this one a bit better! Probably because all of that messy introductions and getting-together stuff was out of the way now. Still quite silly, but that ending! Harsh. I had to pick Blameless up as soon as I could, and honestly? It was fine, but speaking from the farther future, I think it's where the series started to lose me.

Penric and the Shaman / Penric's Fox - enjoying these very much! It was nice to see some continuity of side characters - going in I knew Bujold wasn't writing these chronologically so I had now idea how the chronological order was going to actually shape up.

The Poisoner's Handbook - picked this up after seeing it mentioned on a tumblr post. Was a very easy listen on audiobook and I had a decent time! Nothing too interesting though, because I've listened to a lot of medical history nonfiction for some reason, and it tends to repeat. For some topic crossovers, check out The Radium Girls or The Divorce Colony

Everfair - I really *wish* I could wholeheartedly recommend this one, but I've just got too many reservations about it. The premise is fascinating and the writing is very good, truly. BUT. It's a very long book, and it's mostly told in the style of short vignettes that skip between character, place, and time! Time!! The next bit could be a few days from the last, or months, or years! (Mostly months or years :/ ) With such sprawling worldbuilding and a large cast of characters it never really felt like a cohesive work and was very frustrating and ultimately dissatisfying to read. I bet the author's short fiction is very good though.

Shades of Milk and Honey - I really wish I'd written some notes about this earlier because I have to confess, I've forgotten almost entirely everything about it. Sometimes I wanted to like it, but it never really won me over. One thing I can say in its defense - while not trying to be a 1:1 Jane Austen retelling, it manages to incorporate numerous subtle nods to characters and relationships from her works that I enjoyed and found much more successful (and less cringe) than most direct reimaginings.

Adrift in Currents Clean and Clear - the new Wayward Children installment! As always a nice read, though I still prefer the ensemble books. I hope we'll see Nadya in them again.

The Archive of the Forgotten - we read the first book in this series for book club and I did like it, so I'm not sure what's up with this one. I picked this up on audio as a break from a longer title that was dragging, excited to read something interesting! Only to realize after the first day that I was bored to tears. If I'd been reading it on my own I'd probably have dnf'd, but alas, book club, and I didn't hate it enough to not finish it. It wasn't really a hit with anyone else either but we've for some reason decided to see the series through.

The Girl from the Sea - I've been putting this one off for a long time now it feels like, and for some reason my expectations had dropped really low. But I really liked it! Both a great story and great art that I loved looking at.

Wizard's First Rule - reread of an old favorite from high school - I've already spoken about this one a bit elsewhere and knew it would probably be bad going in, but the rant I could give!!! On a sentence level the writing is entirely passable, but everything else? The characters are all kind of similar and one dimensional, the worldbuilding is unimaginative, the villains are so unbelievably vile that's it's boring (I fast forwarded through most of their scenes), it takes itself so incredibly seriously regardless, and even with the "heroes" there's something definitely off. I had to shut my brain off for so much of this book in order to not get too hung up on it, because it's pretty obvious to me now that there's something rancid about the core beliefs of the book and it infects everything else. TLDR: it's bad and I don't recommend it under any circumstances. Still compels me though, I'm tempted to keep reading.

[fandom-susceptible]

TDP Rewatch S1 E9: Wonderstorm

Honestly, I respect the title of this episode. Well played, Wonderstorm Pictures. Well played.

BAIT got the intro voice, omg, I forgot that happened.

Did they ever explain why Ezran can talk to animals? I don't remember them ever explaining that.

After getting distracted running through a rabbit hole I have found an excerpt from Callum's spellbook and also a Discord Q&A that agree that Ezran's basically an empath, like Betazoids from Star Trek. Animals don't speak to him in words, he just connects with them on an emotional level and relays the words their vibes convey.

So basically Ezran instantly connects to all animals in the way that many cat owners connect with our cats, where the little furballs are incomprehensible eldritch horrors to everyone else but we see them staring Like That and know they're asking for That One Specific Food, or the like. and it's stronger with Zym because Archdragons are semi-telepathic to begin with as well. I actually like this.

The episode hadn't even started yet I just went off on that tangent because of the "previously on".

I really do love Callum and Ezran's relationship. It feels like actual brothers. Like here, right now, they've been united in this whole trip but they're having an actual fight over Ezran's ability to talk to animals, which has been an ongoing sore spot between them for years. Siblings fight! It's a thing that happens! These two just still love each other anyway, it's not something that taints all of their interactions forever, and it's just. Real nice to see.

Of course Ellis believes Ezran. That vibe is what she has with Ava.

Soren and Claudia also have a well-written sibling relationship, it just hurts a lot more.

"Yup. Ignorin' it. Keep movin'." Rayla's true hick origins come to light. YES, GIRL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO WITH CREEPY SOUNDS IN THE WOODS. DON'T FUCK WITH THEM AND LESS OF THEM FUCK WITH YOU. Also this is probably a legit survival strategy in Moonshadow Forest, given how it apparently is also just full of random illusions that lead one astray, like a moon-aligned Mirkwood. "I'm going to share an old elven proverb with you. When travelin' up a mountain tryin' to save a dyin' dragon egg, and ye hear a spooky sound, just keep walkin'." kills me though, lmao, that's so specific but I bet she really did get warnings along this line growing up in the woods.

You know how I mentioned Mirkwood? This episode always makes me think of Mirkwood. All the damn spiderwebs, and the giant spiders.

Rayla also seems familiar with the concept of giant spiderwebs and what breaking the threads might bring on them, which is fascinating to me. Where has she seen this before. Is Moonshadow Forest really just fully knockoff Mirkwood? I mean, she did just see that other body wrapped up in webs, that might be all she's referencing, but it's fun to speculate.

The Jerkface Dance makes me so happy. These boys are so sweet with each other. He's such a good brother.

What must Lujanne have been thinking when she first looked down and saw them? Saw another young elf on approach?

A lot of Ava's really acrobatic stuff makes no real sense if she has only three legs. However, other people can see and feel her leg, so I'm inclined to just headcanon that there's some substance and support to the illusion, like a hard light projection from Star Trek but with magic. She just needs the collar for it to stay on, and it is true that a three-legged animal could probably get along pretty okay with the level of support she had through her recovery, just not with some of her tricks.

Lujanne's having a really weird night.

These kids tried so hard. Imagine what Lujanne must be going through, too, realizing the egg was recovered just to be lost, getting all these shreds of information about what happened without the full story.

Rayla being the one to save Zym's egg from falling is an excellent moment for her redeeming her parents' legacy.

Zym really opts to be dramatic before hes even done hatching, huh?

Bait being the first thing Zym ever saw though, lmao.

Baby Zym baby Zym!

oooh, nice, and her binding snapped off at where it was tied; it wasn't just chewed apart. I'm going to assume that it worked not because Zym's a dragon or an archdragon, per se, but because he's one of the subjects of the binding, and that's why Runaan's is gone after his resurrection. By releasing Rayla, Zym broke the enchantment that was linked to all six bindings, too.

That hand reaching towards the inside of the mirror in the credits sketch haunted my nightmares as a kid.

I like that Lujanne looks worried about the spell that reaches them from Soren and Claudia. She obviously realized something wasn't right.

[earlgreytea68]

Just a quick thought dump, but "Bishop's Knife Trick" popped up on my playlist today, and I can't help but wonder if the lyrics "These are the last blues we're ever gonna have" were written at least in part as a promise to Patrick. The hiatus could have crumbled everything they built together, but they still came back stronger than ever, and now nothing can tear them apart again!

That line is, in typical Pete Wentz style, so multi-layered and can be taken so many different ways. Pete is fond of the word "blue" and its homophones and all their many connotations and often plays around with it (see "Tiffany Blews" and "Hum Hallelujah" "I sing the blues and swallow them, too"). That line in BKT is more of Pete's obsession with how many different and contradictory things he can form into one simple line like that. Possibilities:

"The blues" as a reference to the song genre. These are the last time we will venture into the rhythm and blues. I think some people thought this song was actually evidence of a permanent hiatus, that the band would never play again, because these were "the last blues" they were ever going to have.

"The blues" as a reference to the metaphorical state of depression underlying the song genre. This can be Pete's bouts with depression in a more literal sense, or it could be, as you point out, a reference to the hiatus era depressing feelings between them. The use of the plural we implies the latter more than the former.

"The blues" as a reference to pills (as it's also used in "Hum Hallelujah"). Which seems again to circle around to Pete's issues with overmedication and prescription pills and coming free of that.

I have seen in the past, before SMFS came out, argue that BKT as the last song on Mania was, as I said in the first bullet point, a farewell song from the band to all of us, that they were done and walking away. This always struck me as a negative interpretation of the song (and also time has revealed it to be incorrect). Idk, Mania can sometimes inspire in people a bunch of negativity.

I have always thought BKT is an incredibly hopeful song, full of lush romanticism and declarations of devotion. (Mania actually has a bunch of love songs on it, I think.) And yes, as you say, that particular line can definitely be read as a promise, especially since the next lines say that the glow of the cities will lead them back to places they never should have left -- a hiatus-y thought if ever there was one.

Also, I will never, ever, ever get over the line "spiritual revolt from the waist down" from the man who once proclaimed himself to be gay only above the waist. Like, honestly, I cannot believe that lyric exists in the world and is in this song, with these lines.

Not being a fan of Alien, I initially had no idea what the title of this song meant, and thought maybe it was something about chess???? Also, when I Googled it back then, all it gave me as results was the FOB song, and I was so frustrated lol. But then I finally figured it out and now I really love it as a title to this song because I think it really is all about pulling something off something impossible and impressive and needing to trust each other more. Which is another post-hiatus message.

So yes, this is really a song all about coming back from the hiatus, it's settled. ;-)

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 15: PAINFUL RE:BAKE - Episode 18: The Fate of Ashes

also proofread by myuntachis!

Kabuto: "The ancients confessed before God. Now man is repenting before society." (1)

Kabuto: In other words, the script is done. Sorry.

Banri: It’s so damn light…

Aoshi: Please don’t drag Akutagawa into this.

Kabuto: Perhaps I should say I was entangled in the evil customs of the detestable world of theater�� I need more than just time in order to write, there’s not much I could do differently.

Kabuto: Well, it’s well in time for our first performance. We’re going to start practice, so read through it properly.

Banri: Want me to hand out copies?

Kabuto: Yeah.

Actor A: I thought we’d end today with just etude training again…

Actor B: We’re finally starting the real thing, huh.

Banri: (Like he said, I’m the lead, and Hyodo’s the co-lead. Let’s see–)

Banri: ——

Kabuto: The title is “The Fate of Ashes”.

-

16th century London.

After the death of his mentor Jakes, a great playwright and director, the actor Baal takes over his theater company.

Gifted with talent, the directing techniques he had inherited from his mentor, and a large theater company, Baal felt omnipotent.

Just when he thought his time had come, his master’s will wished for him to act out the final play he had written alongside an unknown actor.

The lead would be played by Baal, and the co-lead would be played by an actor who went by the name of Judas. His mentor had discovered him in an orphanage, taken a liking to him and taught him acting.

Without understanding his master’s intentions, Baal welcomed Judas into the theater and they began rehearsals. However, secretly, he despised Judas’s acting, which was barely anything more than amateurish.

In an attempt to embarrass him and make him leave of his own accord, Baal made Judas act alone in the town square, introducing him as the new actor.

But when Judas started acting in front of the audience, it was as if he was a completely different person from the one during rehearsals, and his acting captured the hearts of the people.

When Baal witnessed the acting that had attracted his late master in the first place, he became filled with a jealousy stronger than he’d ever felt before.

As the opening day of the performance approached, Judas’s talents became more and more refined, and Baal started fearing that if they stood on the stage as they were now, he would be seen as the inferior actor.

Growing mad with the fear that he would lose his position and the theater company he inherited from his master, Baal devised a plan to replace the prop knife during the performance’s sword fight with a real one, and kill Judas in a way that would seem accidental.

And on the opening day–

Judas, despite being fully aware the props had been switched, still accepted Baal’s challenge.

Judas was jealous of Baal. He had been cared for by Jakes and stood in the spotlight, not only as an actor, but also as director and owner of the theater company, and wanted to kill and replace him.

The murder attempts disguised as acting escalate into a shameful scuffle on top of the stage, and they wind up killing each other.

The curtain falls, and their corpses are showered with thundering applause.

-

Banri: An one-man show in the town square…

Banri: (... Ain’t this just a rip-off of our Portraits?)

Kabuto: Heh.

Banri: (Now he’s done it.)

Banri: (Baal fixates on Judas’s acting to the point of jealousy and madness… It’s like he’s tellin’ me this coulda been me...)

Banri: (Honestly, it’s irkin’ me that I gotta perform this for him, but… It’s interesting, and seems like a role worth playing.)

Banri: (And this is a play I can’t perform in MANKAI Company– It’s a play that’s got Hyakka Troupe written all over it.)

Banri: (It’ll definitely become a huge source of knowledge down the line.)

Banri: But what’re you gonna do about the artwork and staging necessary for this?

Aoshi: We don’t have the time to create the props necessary to reflect the time period this play is set in.

Kabuto: We won’t be making any props this time.

Kabuto: My plan is to arrange, stack and break soapboxes in order to reflect each scene’s atmosphere.

Aoshi: Soapboxes?

Juza: I’ve seen… somethin’ like that before.

Juza: While the actors stood on stage, stuff like panels and chairs were moved around to represent either a train or a conference room–

Juza: The way the actors themselves created the set while acting was impressive.

Kabuto: That’s exactly “somethin’ like” it.

Kabuto: I plan to have all actors, main cast included, carry soapboxes during each scene change.

Juza: Sounds interesting.

Banri: … Do you even understand how difficult operatin’ through this is gonna be?

Banri: …

Banri: (What does Hyodo even think of this script?)

Banri: (Is he aware that we’re the inspiration for it? Or is he too dumb to get even that much…)

Banri: (Either way, this is a play worth actin’ for both of us. He’ll need to walk over my dead body to beat me on stage.)

Banri: (Uh, I do die in this play, though.)

Banri: ‘lright, let’s get the read-through started–

Kabuto: Wait.

Banri: ?

Kabuto: You and Hyodo will be playing each other’s roles until I tell you to switch.

Banri: Huh?

Juza: I’ll be playing Baal…?

Aoshi: You also had them act as each other during the etudes.

Banri: Ahh, yeah…

Kabuto: That being said, you can start.

Banri: Yes, sir. As you wish, Your Majesty.

-

Kureha: Hmmm… Muffins, or donuts…

Keiku: …

Kureha: Ah! It’s you again! Look, I’m still trying to decide!

Keiku: Doesn’t seem that way to me tho?

Kureha: J-Just wait a second, I’ll pick one right now–

Girl A: What, what?

Girl B: What’s wrong, Kureha-kun?

Keiku: Sup.

Kureha: He snatched the sweets right as I was picking last time, so I’m trying to secure them this time. Ah, but thanks for the puddi–

Girl A: You can eat my desert, then!

Girl A: This seasonal sweet potato roll cake is sooo delicious~! I’ll give it to you!

Kureha: Huh? Th-Thanks…

Keiku: (... Lovable, eh?)

Keiku: What’s that feel like?

Kureha: … Huh?

Keiku: ——tch.

[Keiku walks away]

Kureha: Ah, wait–

-

Keiku: …ugh. I should comm with someone.

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NOTES:

(1) quote from ryunosuke akutagawa's shuju no kotoba (dwarf's words)

(2) the title of the chapter (and the play) literally translates to 'divine providence of the scorched earth'... kabuto when i get you

[zahri-melitor]

Recent Reads:

Batman Universe: this was charming. Look, on one hand this is so very clearly written for what it was written for (short original stories in a compilation magazine bouncing Bruce off a whole bunch of different parts of the DCU as an introduction), so the plot functions in 12 page increments. On the other hand it is hilarious and I love the level of silly. There is a lot of banter, including banter between characters who you wouldn’t necessarily expect to engage in banter together. There are so many team ups.

I don't think the narrative voice of the characters involved is particularly strong (they all default to quite quippy, and a lot of the characters are somewhat one-note in their characterisation), but I've seen worse and it's genuinely just an entertaining little story.

Batman: The Detective: oh, I liked this. Well, I think it would have been stronger with a different artist (Bruce in this is built like a brick shit house with a face to match), but in terms of story, I was hugely weak to it given it contains not only Henri Ducard, but also Beryl Hutchinson and a new Squire in Amina Eluko. I personally think Knight and Squire are strongest when they are not intermixed with all of the rest of Batman Inc characters, so that made it a lot of fun.

Some of the coincidences in it were hugely pat (Amina's mum, anyone?), but the story made sense and I thought it tackled the Joker problem in an interesting way (in that I'm tired of the Joker Problem but at least this played out the steps of the argument being made on page).

Fairly tight plot. Not a lot of bloat. A couple of last minute very convenient saves to move the plot along, but this is Batman: that happens. Good work from Tom Taylor, honestly.

Man-Bat 2021: what you thought I wouldn’t comment on a Man-Bat series? Me?? So this is explicitly a prequel to the Rebirth Justice League Dark title, and so set in 2017, despite coming out in 2021.

It’s not my favourite Kirk characterisation I’ve ever seen and I could have done without Francine spending the entire title being on the edge of divorcing Kirk, but I thought it did some interesting things with storytelling in the mythos. Certainly a more penitent Kirk here than say his recent appearances in Batman & Robin.

One day Becky and Aaron will return to me.

[hockeybot]

65, 17, & 81!!

65 - what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve written?

I don't think really hard about my titles but I really love wordplay and parenthesis.

The absolute favourite is (so easy it's) Child's Play - a fun little character study in Sengoku Basara set pre-canon when they were children before they grow up to be warlords and bitter enemies but also when one was a political hostage in the homeland of the other. The summary on this one was 'Even in war, they were still children first and foremost' but the title speaks to how it's not easy to be children, the difficulties of building a relationship, how 'child's play' in this sense is very much a foreshadow of the different sides of a war that they'll find themselves on. There's very much an undercurrent of bittersweet knowledge of the future that this speaks to.

In hrpf, it's keep me (next to you) because it works on like, several levels. It's a direct lyric from Taylor Swift's 22 and it speaks to the overall theme (keep me as an entreaty because he's growing up and growing apart, next to you because this is a character study of who he is to different people, as a son, as a friend, as a lover, as a teammate) and the full line of 'everything will be alright if you keep me next to you.'

One of the comments spoke to the underlying wishfulness even though it's a relatively light and happy piece, and it's true. To be a hockey pro, you leave your family early. With Stank (and Delly, ig), how do you rebuild and continue a relationship when so many things have changed. The hope of winning a cup with your team, and the trust you have with your teammates.

Honestly, though, I kinda come up with a title on a whim and then squint at myself afterwards to figure out why I thought it fit. This is a theme. I work on autopilot.

17 -  what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

Non hrpf - TORN but uh.

he lets himself touch without first landing a blow.

Or

Even after Hideyoshi's death, the seasons continue to turn, the winter white robes of mourning melting into the pale green of celebration, trembling and new.

OR MAYBE

She tells him the fighting will not last forever, though her hands are calloused and the brightness of her smile marred by blood.

As single sentences, these do a lot of heavy lifting. I like to distill down to bare bones as much as possible and then use repetition to drive things home, ahahaha.

hrpf wise, uh.

Ty's sun-kissed, pink across the top of his cheekbones, eyes brighter in contrast, like the summer has set up residence inside him already.

I like seeing Delly through Wyatt's eyes, the way Wyatt's drawn to him, it makes me picture my favourite smiling Delly. (I hope) you can feel the depth of emotion from Wyatt in this one line.

81 - if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of writing advice specific to you, what would it be?

Not everything you write needs to be perfect, just write. Write more, write prolifically, write for yourself and not publish it. Don't be afraid - of getting bad feedback or not getting feedback at all. It doesn't need to be for an audience as long as you're getting something out of it. Writing is a muscle to be flexed and you won't get stronger unless you keep pushing your boundaries.

writing ask game!!

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week? Especially Last Days of Lex Luthor #3

Superman #25 - Welcome back Lex and goodbye Superwoman? I liked Lex claiming the title of “Man of Tomorrow” for himself makes a twisted sort of sense, having a major villain contrast with Superman over one of his titles is a concept I’ve long played with on my blog. Lex as the Man of Tomorrow, Zod as the Last Son of Krypton, Metallo as the Man of Steel, Brainiac as the Champion of the Oppressed, etc. With Lois’ powers gone does that mean Zod has them back? Guessing not if Zod will still be seeking Kal out next year. Maybe Mercy stripped Lois of her powers somehow, to push Clark over the edge and succumb to Red K? That would probably be enough to permanently cement the break between Clark and Lex. Looking forward to getting answers.

The Last Days of Lex Luthor #3 - I enjoyed the ending, though Clark’s plan was unbearably naïve and idiotic, honestly it was downright reckless. Willingly giving up his powers permanently to Lex could’ve ended in tragedy, especially since right up until the very last second of his life Lex remained an unapologetic villain. I wonder if Waid would have written this issue differently post the 2024 election? I feel like he would have, I don’t think he would be able to write Lex saving Clark at this point. This book is clearly in conversation with All-Star and it makes for an interesting contrast that Lex’s brief moment of reflection and redemption in All-Star doesn’t stick whereas here he does die a “hero”. Were Waid to write this now I think he would have copied that bit from Morrison too.

Brainiac was very enjoyable too, not sure if the logic of using human brains as computers actually holds given I remember people critiquing The Matrix doing that, but I liked his cold cruelty as a contrast with Lex's passion and reveling in his selfishness. My opinion is I think Waid should do a sequel where Brainiac makes good on his threat to return and Clark gets his powers back somehow. Biggest flaw this story had is that it compressed a retelling of Birthright into it that was inferior to actual Birthright and could’ve been done away with if Waid had simply done a direct sequel. So I want to see a direct sequel that doesn’t have to do all that rehashed foundation work.

Hitch killed it on art, a true tragedy that we never got a proper run on Superman from him. His work here was amazing and worth the wait in my opinion.

Final grade for me is a B. Alongside the Magog arcs of WF, this should stand as a solid Superman romp overall, but it is a complete failure as a grand defense of Superman's no kill rule. There's no intellectual heft to why Waid's Superman doesn't kill, PKJ had Superman offer a stronger argument against killing in one line with Kenan than Waid could manage in three issues. Waid's Superman doesn't kill Lex because he feels really bad about inadvertently creating Lex? Ok, why would he extend that towards villains he had no hand in creating like Brainiac for example? I'm confident now that Waid will never write anything as good as his pre-departure from DC after feuding with Didio work, but I do believe that writing Superboy in Action at least gives him the best foundation for success by letting him write Clark as an actual kid.

Absolute Wonder Woman #7 - When all is said and done I believe we are going to say Thompson is to Wonder Woman what Morrison is for Superman or Bendis is for Spider-Man. This was the perfect mixture of portraying Diana as both powerful and intelligent. Art was phenomenal too.

Absolute Martian Manhunter #2 - Camp showcasing his knowledge of Martian Manhunter lore with another deep cut Manhunter baddie was great. Can't wait to see what the White Martian is, and while he's clearly a stand-in for Camp to comment on how the Internet is radicalizing us, I'm particularly interested to see what "ideas" he represents.

[aquietwritingcorner]

Healing Moments

Title: Healing Moments Fandom:  TMNT 2003 Word Count: 3960  Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating: K  Characters:  Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, Splinter, April O’Neil, Casey Jones Warning: NA Summary: Raph escaped Shredder’s ship with broken ribs. But broken ribs still have consequences.      Notes: This was written for someone a bit back. I never published it outside of showing it to that individual, which was a shame. So I’m publishing it now! I hope you all enjoy it!   ff.net || AO3

______________________________________

Healing Moments

Don sat next to Raph, wetting down a cloth and using his left hand to wring it out and lay it on Raph’s forehead. His brother turned his head slightly and murmured, but otherwise didn’t react to the cloth. Don frowned but didn’t leave his brother’s side. The rest of his family was sleeping, at least as much as any of them could with their injuries from Shredder’s Ship. It wasn’t unusual for any of them to be awake at odd hours because they just couldn’t get comfortable.

They should have been paying more attention to Raph being uncomfortable.

It had started with a cough. They hadn’t paid it much mind. As much as April and Casey cleaned, this farmhouse was old, and they were all sleeping in the attic. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that there was something up here or even just outside that Raph was mildly allergic to. Mike had even teased him a little bit about it.

But then the cough had gotten worse, and Raph had begun sleeping more. He had just brushed it off as healing, which also made sense. It took a lot of energy to heal, something that they, unfortunately, knew well. It was only when he had looked feverish, his eyes a bit glassy, his head a bit warm, that it had hit them that something else was going on. With April and Casey’s help—as they were the only ones uninjured and able to help the most effectively—Don gave Raph a look over.

Don didn’t have access to medical care. Here, at the farm, he didn’t even have access to his lab. He would have liked to confirm the illness that he was positive Raph had, but instead he had to make do with his observation and the very small lab he had set up in the barn. Still, he was certain that he knew what Raph had.

Pneumonia.

It made sense. Raph’s main injuries had been his ribs, which, of course, were near his lungs. With the pain of his broken ribs, Raph likely wasn’t breathing as deeply as he should have been. That would have set him up for an infection to settle in his lower lungs and turn into pneumonia. That was only confirmed by the way that Raph’s lungs sounded. That crackling was pretty distinctive, even in mutant turtles.

Don had immediately started on what treatments they could do at the farm. Making sure that Raph was sitting up instead of laying down, giving him over the counter pain killers, making sure he stayed hydrated, and having him sit in a steamy bathroom. Splinter had brought some of his teas with him, as well, and he made sure that Raph drank plenty of those. But it wasn’t enough. Raph continued to get worse, and Don had sent out April and Casey to see if they could get their hands on any antibiotics. He hadn’t questioned how they had managed to get what they did, he had just taken it.

Now they just had to hope that they were going to work on Raph and that he wouldn’t need something stronger.

“How is he?”

Don looked up at Leo’s voice, not terribly surprised to hear it. Leo hadn’t been sleeping much lately, and Don honestly wasn’t sure if it was emotional, or because of his injured shell. It was likely both.

Don looked back down at Raph. “He’s resting, at least. The fever is still up, though. I did manage to get him to drink some the last time he was awake.”

Leo nodded, standing over their brother. “That’s good at least. The medicine will help the fever, right?”

Don frowned. “The NSAID will help the fever. The antibiotics will help the infection, as long as it’s a bacterial infection.”

Leo paused. “What do you mean, ‘as long as it’s a bacterial infection’?”

Don looked back down at Raph, laying a hand on the back of his neck as a way to check his temperature. “Pneumonia in humans is most likely to be caused by a bacterial or viral infection. In turtles it can also be fungal. I highly doubt that it’s fungal, but it could be viral. If it is, the antibiotics won’t do him any good. We’ll have to rely on treating the symptoms and hope that his body can handle the rest. If it’s bacterial, then the anti-biotics will help.”

Leo was quiet for a moment. “How can you tell which kind it is?”

“Here?” Don said “I can’t. I’m making the best guess that I can. We’re just going to have to hope we’re lucky.”

Leo’s frowned deepened and he turned away. “Luck is not something I think we can rely on.”

Don sighed. “Well, it’s all we’ve got right now, Leo,” he replied, perhaps a little bit snippier than he needed to be. ��So, we’ll have to make do.”

He turned his attention back to Raph as the other turtled started to cough. Don helped him sit up a bit more, and supported him as he coughed, none of his breaths as deep as Don had hoped they would be, but better than nothing. It sounded so very painful each time he did this, but coughing out the infection was a good thing, even if he knew it set Raph’s broken ribs aflame with pain.

With a sigh, Don helped to lean Raph back in his bed, making sure he was propped securely on the pillows and that he was as comfortable as he could be. Raph’s eyes cracked open, and he looked over at Don.

“Donnie?” he croaked out, his voice sounding rough and weak.

“Yeah, Raphie, it’s me,” Don said with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Awful.”

Don chuckled slightly. “Yeah, I’d imagine so. I’m guessing your ribs are pretty sore?”

“Yeah.”

“Do your lungs feel sore as well?” Don asked.

Raph paused a moment more before answering that one. “Yeah,” he said.

Don nodded. “I thought so. You just rest, alright? I’ll take care of things right now. We all will.”

Raph let out a bit of a grunt, winced, and then closed his eyes. It wasn’t long before he drifted off to sleep again. Don sighed, and moved the washcloth back to Raph’s head, keeping watch over his brother.

Leo watched the whole thing, not interfering with Don’s care, and then let out what sounded like an irritated sigh and walked away, going towards the window.

Don watched, and then turned back to Raphael, keeping his own sigh to himself, and replacing the cloth on Raph’s head.

~*~

Mikey wasn’t terrible surprised when he looked over and found Donnie asleep at Raph’s side. Mikey had come over to relieve Don, to give him a break from the constant watch he had been keeping on Raph. After all, even though Don was usually in charge of their care when they were sick, at this point Raph’s care really wasn’t anything that the rest of them couldn’t do. Helping Raph sit up to cough, trying to get him to drink water, putting cold cloths on his forehead to keep his fever down, those were all things that anyone could do. Don was just stubborn and didn’t want to leave Raph’s side.

So, Mike had come anyway, told Don that Master Splinter had sent him up to give Don a break, and not objected when Don wanted to stay nearby a little longer. He hadn’t been surprised when, within moments, Don had fallen asleep. Mike had draped a blanket over his purple-banded brother, made sure he wasn’t putting pressure on his arm, and then turned all of his attention to Raph.

His brother did not look good. Raph was always all strength and attitude, even when he was being soft and caring. Right now, he didn’t look like either of those things. He was propped up on a mound of pillows, cradling his shell to keep him almost upright. His mouth was open as he breathed, although his breaths were a bit gaspy. He was pale and didn’t look like he’d be able to hold up his head much less fight anything off.

Mikey didn’t like it.

“Heya, Raph, just me, come to check on you. Well, that and to give Donnie a break. You know how he gets when one of us is sick. He’s a worse mother hen than Leo!”

Leo… that was another brother to be worried about, although for a completely different reason. But Mike would come back to that later.

“He’s been with you most of the time, but, I mean, part of it makes sense. He does know the most, and he’s honestly the most mobile of us. Well, Leo might be too, but I think his shell hurts him more than he lets on, and Don fusses over it, too.”

Mikey was working as he was talking, taking the moment to check Raph’s temperature and make sure that the cloth on his head was nice and cool.

“Anyway, since I can’t do much more than sit on my butt and stare at the wall, I figured I might as well sit on my butt here, give Donnie a break, and grace you with my presence!”

Raph stirred under Mikey’s touch, and Mike leaned in as much as his broken legs would allow. “Raph?”

Raph’s eyes cracked open, and he blearily blinked at his brother. “Mike?” he mumbled, his voice weak. “S’you?”

Mike grinned at his brother. “Yep! The one and only! I decided to give Donnie a little break!”

Raph grunted a little, and his eyes traveled around until they landed on Don, who was asleep, hunched over the end of Raph’s bed. “Good.”

Raph started coughing again, shallow ones that sounded like they needed to be deeper. His face contorted in pain and his arms wrapped around his middle. Mikey reached over as best he could, supporting him. It was hard to see Raph in pain like this, and not be able to do anything about it. He rubbed Raph’s shell, trying to find a way to soothe him at least a little.

Coughing, he knew, was good with something like pneumonia. It brought up the junk in the lungs, and Mikey knew to use a little bowl to catch anything that Raph coughed up. As gross as it was, Donnie would want to examine it. But it also was hard to watch him be in pain from coughing with broken ribs.

As the coughing eased up, Mikey helped Raph lean back again, watching as his brother gasped for breath, pain still clear across his face. He picked up a glass of water with a straw and held it up to Raph. “Here, Raphie. Think you can drink some of this? You need to get some water in you.”

Raph gave a tired nod, still working on catching his breath back. But as soon as he could, he clamped his lips around the straw, drinking it slowly. Mikey held it up as long as Raph would drink it, and then sat it to the side. “Think you can swallow some pills? Don left a schedule for your medicine.”

Raph nodded, and Mikey fumbled around for the pills, doing the best to reach for the pills without hurting himself, too. He read the instructions, and then took out the correct dosages, helping Raph to take them and drink a bit more water.

“You think you can finish up this glass of water? It’d be good for you if you could.”

“Yeah…” The word was faint and tired, but it was there.

Mike held the glass up again, never once letting it drop and adjusting it so that Raph could get every last bit out if out.

“That’s good, Raph. I’ll see if we can get you a refill, okay? In the meantime, just lay back. I’ll get that cloth back on your head.”

“…thanks, Mikey.”

“No problem, bro,” Mike said with a smile. “Hey—why don’t I catch you up on what’s been going on!”

As Mike prattled on, talking for as long as he knew Raph was listening, and hoping that it brought him some comfort.

~*~

April looked over when she heard a small groan. She had been changing the water out, making sure that all of it was fresh after having sent all of the others either to rest or to go outside. They had all been taking turns looking after Raph and they all needed a break. She could take care of Raph for a while and let them have that break. They deserved it.

“Hey there, big guy,” she said when she noticed that Raph’s eyes were open. “About time you woke up. It’s nearly noon.”

Raph blinked around the room blearily. “…where’s…?”

“I sent them all out for some sunshine,” she said, finishing up with the water. “I’d send you out for it, too, but I don’t think you’re quite up for it yet.”

Raph leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “…sounds nice.”

April smiled at him. “Don’t worry, you’ll be out there soon enough.”

Raph merely let out a grunt and said nothing more. April went on about straightening up the attic—Despite the presence of Master Splinter, there were four teenaged boys living there—at least until she heard Raph start to cough. She turned around and frowned when she saw him starting to cough again, pain clear on his face. She immediately rushed to his side, putting an arm around him and taking some of his weight on herself.

The coughs were a little deeper than she had heard him have before, which was good, but the pain on his face wasn’t nearly as good and it tore at her heart. The guys were like little brothers to her, and she hated to see them all in this much pain. Still, she held him against her as he coughed and hacked, rubbing her hand on the rim of his shell, holding a cloth up to his face, and speaking soft, encouraging words to him.

When he finished, he was breathless, but he didn’t seem quite as breathless as she’d seen him before. Still, she helped to lay him back carefully, letting him catch his breath, and went to fetch him a glass of water.

“Here you go, Raph. Drink as much of it as you can, alright?” she said, carefully adjusting the glass at need. “Just take it at your own pace.”  

April held the glass until Raph had finished it off, filling it up again and offering him more. Raph drank a little more until he finally stopped and laid his head back in the pillows that were piled up around him.

“…Thanks, Ape…” he said, his voice scratchy.

“It’s not a problem,” she said. April settled in beside him, taking care not to put stress on his lungs or ribs, and brought him to her, letting her little brother lean on her and relax. She gave the top of his head a peck. “What are big sisters for?”

~*~

“I think this commentator’s whack,” Casey said. “There ain’t no way they’re gonna win. They ain’t got the stats.”

Raph glanced over at Casey, from where both of them were watching the TV that he had managed to bring up the stairs and hook up enough to get the game. Raph still wasn’t up for much, but he had managed to stay awake through a couple of innings at least, which was more than last time.

Casey looked at him. “Don’t look at me like that, bro. They just pulled up three guys from the minor league after they traded off their top players. There ain’t no way they’re gonna do well after that.”

“…was stupid,” Raph agreed. “…but they got that guy… from Puerto Rico…”

“Yeah, he is really good,” Casey admitted. “But ya can’t rely on one guy to bring up the whole team! Besides, the other team managed to get four of the best players in the league!”

“…no others.”

“Yeah? Well, ya know what? Those three should be able to pull the team through!”

“YOU said—”

Raph’s rebuttal was cut off by a round of harsh coughing, which immediately brought the argument to an end. Casey abandoned his argumentative stance, instead moving to support Raph through the coughing, bringing up the small kidney bowl for him to spit anything out into. He kept a strong arm around Raph, making sure that he didn’t bend too far in his coughing, aggravating his ribs more.

As soon as Raph was finished, Casey helped him recline back on his mountain of pillows and sat the kidney bowl down.

“Hang on, Raph, lemme get ya some water.” Casey turned back to the water they were still keeping nearby and poured Raph some fresh into a cup. He helped Raph hold it, only letting go when it felt like Raph had a good hold on it, although he kept his hands hovering nearby. “Don’t drink it too fast, Raph. Ya don’t wanna throw up with broken ribs. Trust me on that one.”

Raph shot Casey a look, but he kept drinking the water anyway, draining it until the glass was empty. Casey poured him another one, and Raph started in on it too. Finally, he finished, and he let Casey take the glass, his arms dropping tiredly.

“…goofball.”

“Who me?” Casey said. “I ain’t the one that just tried to yell with pneumonia. Even I ain’t that stupid.”

Casey settled back down next to Raph and said nothing about the breadcrumb that Raph flicked at him, just flicking it back again. Raph flicked it back, and the two settled into a silent war as they watched the game.­­­­

~*~

“How are you feeling today, my son?”

Raph looked over at his father as Splinter carried a tray of tea towards him. “Better, Master Splinter,” he said, although his voice was still scratchy and weak.

“I am glad to hear it,” Splinter said with a smile. “I’ve brought you some food and tea, my son. Do you feel like eating?”

“I can try.”

“I would like that.”

Splinter sat the tray down and sat out the lap tray they had been using for Raphael’s meals. Taking his time, he sat some of the food on Raphael’s tray. Raph eyed the food that was left over. It was a lot of food, and Raph wasn’t sure he could eat all of that.

Splinter sat himself down next to Raphael’s bed. “I hope you do not mind if I take lunch with you, my son. Your brothers are otherwise occupied, and I believe that Mr. Jones and Ms. O’Neil would appreciate some time together.”

Raph smiled. So that’s why there was so much food on the tray. “Yer fine, Sensei.”

For a little bit, the two ate in relative silence, until Raph felt the urge to start coughing again. He tried to finish his bite and swallow before the urge hit, but he didn’t quite make it, some of the food coming out as he coughed.

Immediately, Splinter was at his side, a hand on his shell. “Keep coughing, Raphael, it is okay. Just keep coughing it up.”

Raph didn’t really have much of choice, but when he was finished, he sagged back on the pillows again, trying to catch his breath.

“S-sorry,” he started to apologize, mostly for the mess of food particles he had coughed out.

Splinter immediately dismissed it. “Do not apologize, my son. Believe me, this is far from the worst mess you and your brothers have left on me.” There was a trace of humor in his voice, even as he made sure that Raphael was settled and brushed the food away.

He reached for the tea, and held it to his son, helping Raphael to drink it. “Finish it all,” Splinter said. “And then, when you feel like it, finish what you can eat. I will be here with you.”

Raph couldn’t help the smile that touched his lips. Somehow, even at this age, knowing that his father was there was comforting.

~*~

Raph woke up, not sure what had woken him up until he looked over and saw the silhouette of Leo sitting beside him. Everyone else was asleep, and only the moonlight illuminated the attic room.

“…Leo?”

Leo shifted. “Did I wake you?” he asked.

Raph shook his head. “Dunno.”

Leo hummed.

For a moment, the two sat in silence, until Raph felt the urge to cough building again. He hated coughing at night, because it disturbed his whole family. Still, it couldn’t be denied, and it wasn’t long before Raph was coughing, holding his ribs as he did.

He felt Leo’s arm come around his shoulder, his other bracing Raph from the front, not letting him curl over on himself. Finally, the coughing fit finished, and Leo leaned Raph back.

“Here,” he said, bringing a glass up. “Drink some water.”

Raph took the glass, drinking the water slowly. Leo watched him closely, taking the glass when he was finished, and then sitting back at Raphael’s side. For a moment, neither of them said anything.

“…Do your ribs still hurt?”

“…yeah. But not as bad.”

More silence. Then…

“I’m sorry, Raphael.”

“Don’t be.”

They didn’t say anything else, but Leo sat by Raph’s side for the rest of the night, helping him anytime he needed it.

~*~

“Hey! Look who’s finally downstairs!” Casey said with a grin.

“Yeah, yeah,” Raph said, grinning, even if he was being supported by both Leo and Don on both sides.

“With his fever broken for a few days, and his ribs seeming to heal, it seemed a good time to bring him downstairs,” Don said.

“It’s good to see you down here,” April said with a smile.

Leo and Mikey helped Raph to the couch, where they carefully lowered him down.

“If you feel tired or if you need anything, make sure you tell us,” Don said, hovering over Raph.

“I will, Don, ya don’t have to hover,” Raph said.

“Dude, Don not hovering is like asking Master Splinter not to give us tea,” Mikey said.

“Which is exactly what I am bringing you now,” Splinter said. “And you will drink it.”

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Raphael.” Leonardo said, giving his shoulder a squeeze before moving away.

“Thanks, bro,” Raph said, settling in on the couch and taking the tea that Master Splinter offered him. He let out a shallow sigh of contentment, glad to be out of the attic and among his family again.

“Hey—who wants to watch a movie?” Mikey asked.

“I’ll make the popcorn!” Don volunteered.

“I’ll come help you,” April said.

“What movie did you have mind?” Casey asked, leaning over to look at the collection they had brought with them.

Raph watched as Splinter settled down in a chair, and Leo moved closer to the family as they all gathered around. His ribs still hurt, he still had a cough, and he couldn’t breathe deeply, but he was glad to be here with his family. Maybe none of them were whole and healthy, but they were well on their way to healing at least—and with the way his family gathered around him, he could tell that they felt the same way.

Raph settled back, drank his tea, and listened to his family argue the finer points of the best Star Trek movie.

“Ya better just hope that Five ain’t the only one that still plays.”

He couldn’t help but grin at the cacophony of protests that rose at his words. Yeah. They’d all be fine in time.

[holdingonforheaven]

🍓🍎🍒🍇

I got greedy 😁 Fruit salad please?

One fruit salad coming right up!!! 🥰🥰🥰

🍓 What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated? 

Honestly, Blinded, which I wrote for the Febuwhump semiconscious prompt. Maybe I didn't give it a good title (I have a hard time titling my works) or a flashy enough summary, but I think it's some of my best writing.

🍎 Is there anything you straight-up won’t write?

Any kind of incest, and I'm including clone shipping in that. I get that other people like it, but it's not for me!

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!) 

Oooh, this is a tough one! There are so many good pairings. I love writing CodyWan; they basically wrote all of Breathless themselves, and that was supposed to be a whump prompt not a first kiss, lol. I also love clones being siblings--I have four brothers, so I like playing with the different kinds of relationships siblings have with each other. I feel like you see a lot of that (and there's more coming) in Not Alone and Fallout. The Bad Batch fall into this category, too. Crosshair & Omega especially have me in a chokehold. They just have so much potential for sarcasm and sweetness and angst 🥺

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one? 

Hmmmmm. If I had a stronger psyche, I'd really sink my teeth into the Umbara arc. As it is, I can't even rewatch it, but there's soooooo much you could do with it, from just straight-up fix-it fics where nothing bad happens at all, to highly-focused whump fics where we explore it in depth from just one character's perspective. I really wish we got to see Anakin's reaction to the aftermath of that arc...like, he left his troopers in the hands of a dark jedi who abused them to hell and back, and you're telling me Mr. "I Killed The Women And Children, Too" didn't have anything to say about that?? I just feel like he'd have so much grief and betrayal and guilt that he'd need to process and he wouldn't do it very well because he's Anakin.

This was so fun!! Thank you for asking 🥰

[solreads]

Fractured Dreamer - Review

Title: Fractured Dreamer

Author: A.K. Adler

Genre: Fantasy

Audience: Young Adult

Format: Novel

Representation: Trans boy POV character

  Nonbinary and trans side characters

Summary: In a country that hates both the power in his blood and his feelings for other boys, Bassim has hidden his magic and attraction all his life, only able to open up to Lief, the earth element bound to him. But he’s forced from his life of hiding when a desperate wish and a splash of his blood in water brings forth first a boy from another world who sees Bassim for who he is, then a magical plague that draws out the hidden parts of the people around them as shades and leaves their bodies in trapped in sleep. Fleeing his country with Alec in tow, Bassim searches for a way to control his power as a shaman and begins to open his eyes to the possibilities for someone like him to live free of fear. 

In London, Alexa moves through life feeling like a robot, keeping up appearances as the perfect student, the perfect – if distant – daughter, logical and in control. Until a vibrant world of magic and curses – a world where he’s a boy called Alec and his body feels right in a way it never had in the waking world – begins to fill his dreams every night. The more Alec and the connection he shares with Bassim start to feel real, the harder it becomes for him to return to the waking world and to keep repressing who he is. As both the sleeping curse and Alec’s powers as a dreamwalker grow stronger, the fate of Bassim’s whole world might lie in Alec reconciling the fractured pieces of himself. 

Reflections: Alec and Bassim’s relationship was written fairly well I would say and I tend to dislike a lot of YA romantic side plots. They fell for each other pretty quickly, but it felt understandable for where they were in life and what they were going for given that they are each the first person the other can safely share their identity with. It balanced how meaningful that was for both of them with the stumbling and flailing nature of a first teenage relationship between two kids with little else in common but their queerness and a lot of other shit to deal with at the same time. Spoilers, but honestly, I think I enjoyed it more because it didn't last. Trying to push a brief, messy teenage relationship into an easy, perfect happy ending rarely works well for me.

The familial relationships were a little weak compared to the roles or impact they theoretically had. I wish Bassim's family and home life had gotten a little more focus before the plot kicked into gear. Other than Bassim's father (who also doesn't appear as the father Bassim knew after the curse hit him), none of them had a presence even though they seemed like they should given the importance of Bassim's lack of roots. Then when it came to Alec and his father, I didn't think the way Alec's repression of his gender identity was tied back to his father was written as well as it could have been. It made a kind of sense, I don't have a real problem with the concept, but it felt like it was brought into the story awkwardly and abruptly considering how little Alec's dad mattered to the story or to Alec up to that point.

Warnings: Depictions of dysphoria, misgendering, deadnaming, internalized transphobia

Notes on Rep: Character identifies on-page as a trans boy.

[lazodiac]

Have you heard of the Guardian Legend? It's a NES game twin-stick shooter (sorta) that's a metroidvania (kinda) and a puzzle game (I guess) that also turns into a shmup game (this one is 100% true). It's really well loved and someone made an indie game inspired by it and since Robin was too ill to stream Paper Mario Thousand Year Door we streamed this instead here you go.

Video Length: 3:16:35

I don't really have tooo much to say about Astrolancer? It's super good, I love the variety of all its weapons, I like the arcade-y feel of how it doles out upgrades, and the music and sprite-work are top-notch. It plays really well- surprisingly well honestly, I went with the retro controls despite them feeling like they'd be less intuitive than the modern controls but as it turns out the opposite is true. I love the little flourishes here and there that make it feel like a stronger experience; the game over being a bespoke ending, the little ding when your thruster is ready, all that. The cutscenes are also really well written, getting across the vibe and the story without overstaying their welcome or feeling like something that isn't quite a NES title.

I feel like if I have anything negative to say, it's that some of the options feel more "correct" than others. The shotgun is just best for the shmup stages, spread shot that does good damage takes precedent over basically everything imo. The ARMS are interesting but not all of them have an obvious use-case (of course, that's just my read on things). The game is definitely a degree harder than I think most would expect going in- though the ample assist mode options make that work out well.

All in all, I'd say this is a VERY solid game, and worth your time. It currently costs like 7 bucks and that's money you could literally pick up off the street. So give it a look.

Now, as per the bit at the end of the stream… I don't know if I'll be playing through all of Heartless Rampage mode (and if I do I maaay be using the Cheat menu a little). It's an option, if people are interested, so I'll leave that on the table for you all to discuss. I've got other shorter indie games to bide the time while waiting for Robin to feel better (and she may even feel better this Thursday who knows) to play instead. So, the choice is yours!

[brokenmug]

So, finally, after almost a YEAR - I'm back here. [I was wrong, I had written probably the longest piece on my phone, which I totally forgot for nearly a year]

And you may just guess why, or better be, how.

There's just so much I could have written all those months, difficult months, but it wasn't - I might just say - electrifying enough. Yes.

Without throwing any riddles (to whom, by the way, myself, or you AQ?), let's just say ever since I wrote here last - guessing by the title date, otherwise, I honestly still don't know exactly when - I haven't been, glad enough just to have happened to come here. Yeah.

So, without even knowing what I last wrote here, I definitely would arrive at today's feelings by going along how the past year had been. It's just how it works for me.

So... I know I had tried my best, beginning September 2022, or post that month, post that "first" meeting, because I never intended to "go back" to her, to see if we can work out something this time, especially what she told me in that meeting. Ups and downs followed, some really good moments too, but with me coming to the conclusion that she wouldn't do it, and hence, it wouldn't be simply right for us to continue talking. I ended, for many reasons including just for being right. It was March 2023.

We probably talked again a month later, as I do remember somewhat, but then, for things to go down, as was expected, and half-heartedly wanted by me, for next four months, when suddenly or not, I wanted to talk again. That's just me, her, and us. That's how it has always been. For over 10 years by that time, nearly 11, I had hated her, but I had loved her more - much much more. I texted her, to learn how she had been. But it wasn't a welcome thing to happen, just an extremely brief conversation, and with sadness to get over my entire existence. How would I write anything here? What would I tell, or say, to be read later?

And here we are, five months later. Those five months... Probably have been as hard as I can say, something like it was back in the golden days of my life... Yes, the hostel days. My love had resurrected after meeting her after so many years (5 and a half) only for me to unsuccessfully try to move on, once again, beginning with that conversation in March. It never happened. I kept thinking, waiting, expecting, and trying to control the sadness by doing what not? Music? Smoking? Drinking? AQ, you were just simply back, probably stronger than ever... 😞

And that's why, and how, as I said in the beginning, I texted you again, this week, as I wanted to meet you and see how you have been... And not miss a chance to know about your life, and ultimately miss a chance of being together... Well, it was a good conversation, I totally didn't hold up as I had thought - I was high, texting you - you've always been my true high AQ. I felt like you would text, and actually ask if I would be coming to meet. You didn't though, and naturally, being upset about it, I decided I would not go and would tell you before the weekend ends. And I did. But it turned out differently, again. You know it well, you know it sooo well AQ since campus days, as I always said it too, it's probably in this blog too already, that I could never stay angry at you for long. And so, you won this time, too. You always did. It was an ecstatic moment talking to you like an hour ago.

I mean, wow, all those years, that decade; togetherness, breakups, closeness, breaking up, separation, long years apart, moving on, you marrying too, and then meeting again, days reminiscing, and apart again... And here I am, still in touch, still able to just exchange our words with each other... 😞 Then why, why, why not permanently together? So lucky after like 7 years of permanent separation, I'm still with you somehow 💔 that's more time than us actually being together those 5 years... Then why not together my AQ? Buht aayin gayin yaaden, magar is baar tumhi ana... I don't want to let you go. I just want to stay in touch. Yes, things have changed. I said, last year, that if we couldn't work up for it, then it's better to not stay in touch. Last year? I said like a few days ago, I wanted to know just for the last time what were you thinking, but no! I am here. Just stay around AQ ❤️

So, isn't that the perfect time to come back here and write?

Signing off for now, AJ.

[a-tale-of-legends]

So uh. I put this in my drafts cause in mobile the asks are written funny when I try to answer them. But for some reason I can't go back and edit it???????? Which is. Weird. Good thing I took a screen shot.

Anyway.

( points to May/Brendan, Calem/Serena, Ethan/Lyra, Dawn/Lucas) Do they mean nothing to you anon /j Buuuut yeah, from the looks of it most protags are separate via timelines. I don't usually have a problem with this, since so far whenever there's an npc protag they aren't really doing....much. If you're lucky you get a Dawn/Lucas or Serena/Calem that tries to be very active in the plot, but outside of that they aren't much of a character. Calem/Serena tried to be buuuuut they failed imo. I think it really comes down the fact that if there's more than one protagonist in the game, one is gonna be less of a blank slate that the player can project on than the other. Which isn't a bad thing, I love giving the protags some personalities ( it's partially what started the Legendverse), but the whole point of the silent protag is for the player to project onto them. That, and Gamefreak sure doesn't make them as interesting as they could be. Lyra/Ethan are the biggest offenders of this imo. They. Really don't do much outside of tutorial stuff. You don't battle them, you don't fight with them, you rarely get any real depth from them like. I hate saying it, but if they weren't in the story at all it wouldn't have changed things, which really sucked to say cause I like HGSS. All of this is to say that this is why I have dual protags in my au. For granted,almost all of them are ocs, but they still share the protag title, just separated by "main" and "secondary".

Okay with all of that out of the way, to your ask anon. When it comes to hc about Juliana and Florian, it's...well it's not hard but it's annoying. Bc visually they're just Gloria and Victor 2. At least at first. Ironically I think the dlc art actually gives me a few ideas. This I'm treating these two as separate characters, so no genderfluid Florian/Juliana today.

Juliana: An excitable girl with a love for battling. Is known to throw rules away in favor of something more "fun"....whatever that is. She's generally very brash, and doesn't exactly think before acting. This bit her in the back Teal Mask, however. Afterwards she kinda.....lessened in terms of her usual energetic self. She became more serious and stoic faced- still Juliana, always Juliana, but the events of Teal Mask really brought her down. The last thing she ever wanted to do is to hurt a friend. In Indigo Disk she kinda adopts this serious, no nonsense persona which is admittedly, very weird, even for her. Seeing Kieran the way he is kinda makes it worse. She's a bit more....angry here. Whether it's at herself, others, Kieran, no one knows. She probably doesn't know. But through it all she just wants to make things right again.

Florian: The opposite of Juliana: a fucking nerd. Moreso wanting to focus on his studies than anything else, Florian is a skittish, rule follower to the T. Too bad the plot of SV ( and Juliana if we're doing dual protags) drags him into nonsense. But honestly it's a good thing overall. He becomes less rigid, a bit less fearful. He actually ends up enjoying himself more than he ever does and even makes some amazing friends to boot. Teal Mask was great for him! Until it wasn't. I like to think he bonded with Kieran very easily, both being somewhat shy, and an admiration of those who they deem stronger than them. When things hit the fan I think Florian was.....off. He was hurt. Very hurt. And he definitely beat himself over it. But he never let it show? In fact it seems that he's gotten more carefree as time goes on and a smidge more interested in battling. By Indigo Disk, Florian just seems like a brand new person. He seems more confident, more carefree, even leaning into Drayton's jokes a little. And yet, when he sees Kieran that mask sorta cracks. He's scared out of his mind. He doesn't know what to say or do no matter how much he thinks about it. But better do retreat, than face it head on, right? In the end, he just wants the same thing as Juliana, but is struggling to find an answer.

This post is getting long so I'm just gonna end it here. Sorry to anyone who wanted to see Gloria and Victor! But I hope you enjoy these hcs! They were fun to make!

[luxrayz64]

I used 2 be one of those people throwing fits bc I thought idw shadow was poorly written but honestly he would say that. especially where sonic is involved he WOULD say that

like the metal virus scene? ok hang on

so shadow's whole deal is that he is the ultimate life form. he was born and created to be the ultimate life form. it IS his identity. this is who I am and all that.

in sa2, particularly at the end once he's outlived his creator and purpose he gives up the title and gives it to sonic. there is someone else out there who is a better, more ultimate life form than him. there is someone else out there who was born with the speed and power shadow was engineered to have just out of sheer random chance.

in future titles, shadow has forgotten his creator and purpose and sought one out on his own - he is the ultimate life form and he has faith in that. he no longer needs the validation of his creator and given purpose.

EXCEPT

he's still not the most ultimate life form out there - because sonic is still here, and still matches shadow's strength blow for blow. now though, shadow is very interested in "being alive" and "moving forward" and "not getting so lost in his own grief he tries to kill everyone and also himself". he's not willing to give up his title. ultimate life form is who he is, and it's FRUSTRATING having someone else out there who could be stronger than him

so now, when met with sonic, shadow doesn't just give up. he challenges him. belittles him. talks himself up and dismisses sonic. when something like the metal virus comes up, and sonic has to run away because he's infected... that's a chance for shadow to assert to himself, sonic, and everyone else, that he is indeed the ultimate life form. after all, he's immune to every disease. cowards don't run.

only for him to violently remember that the metal virus didn't exist when shadow was created, and for him to become infected.

his need to prove himself and assert his superiority is a character flaw, but it really does make sense - shadow was born with a purpose and lost that purpose. he was given an identity, and then lost that identity. being sure of your own identity when so much of what you were and why you exist was violently stripped away from you is really hard! it makes sense that he'd feel threatened by sonic. 'ultimate' is who he is.

it's a coping mechanism. not a good one, but they rarely are. shadow is a massive fucking egotistical prick covering up insecurities

[askbadlydrawnalfred]