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purpleradfeminista · 3 years ago

Note

"Why is this kind of treatment never even CONSIDERED for a trans person?" cause dysphoria sufferers are considered non-responsive to talk therapy unlike BDD/anorexic patients who can enter remission. Maybe if you actually stepped out of the radfem bubble where y'all theorize out of your butts and did actual reading about older writings on transition you would know, duh. Read about John Money, Harry Benjamin, Magnus Hirshfield, Havelock Ellis, Virginia Prince, Lou Sullivan. If you truly care ofc

Ok sure I'll bite.

John Money: was a New Zealand psychologist, sexologist and author known for his research into sexual identity and biology of gender and his conduct towards vulnerable patients. [bolding mine] He was one of the first researchers to publish theories on the influence of societal constructs of gender on individual formation of gender identity. Money introduced the terms gender identity, gender role and sexual orientation and popularised the term paraphilia. He spent a considerable amount of his career in the USA.

Recent academic studies have criticized Money's work in many respects, particularly in regard to his involvement with the involuntary sex-reassignment of the child David Reimer, his forcing this child and his brother to simulate sex acts which Money photographed and the adult suicides of both brothers.

--I haven't read any of Money's work directly, but I have read the book that is about his patient victim David Reimer, who was surgically "turned into a girl" shortly after birth and used by Money to try and justify his opinions about gender reassignment. Reimer reports that "when living as Brenda, [he] did not identify as a girl. He was ostracized and bullied by peers (who dubbed him "cavewoman"), and neither frilly dresses nor female hormones made him feel female."

Harry Benjamin: seems to at least not have been a pedophile, and I suppose is best known for his treatment of Christine Jorgensen, but I find it significant that he only stepped in to help patients after other therapies had failed.

Magnus Hirshfield: I'm sort of puzzled as to why he's on your list, as his major body of work is about sex, and gay sex in particular, and his only contribution to what you're talking about appears to be some vague writing he did about "transvestitism".

Havelock Ellis: worth first noting that he was a eugenicist....but aside from that he appears to have been the first, or one of the first, to acknowledge that autogynephilia exists and is often a factor in the male desire to "transition".

"Aware of Hirschfeld's studies of transvestism, but disagreeing with his terminology, in 1913 Ellis proposed the term sexo-aesthetic inversion to describe the phenomenon. In 1920 he coined the term eonism, which he derived from the name of a historical figure, Chevalier d'Eon. Ellis explained:

On the psychic side, as I view it, the Eonist is embodying, in an extreme degree, the aesthetic attitude of imitation of, and identification with, the admired object. It is normal for a man to identify himself with the woman he loves. The Eonist carries that identification too far, stimulated by a sensitive and feminine element in himself which is associated with a rather defective virile sexuality on what may be a neurotic basis.

Ellis found eonism to be "a remarkably common anomaly", and "next in frequency to homosexuality among sexual deviations", and categorized it as "among the transitional or intermediate forms of sexuality". As in the Freudian tradition, Ellis postulated that a "too close attachment to the mother" may encourage eonism, but also considered that it "probably invokes some defective endocrine balance"."

Virginia Prince: I am honestly surprised that current TRAs even want to claim this person, as she seems to be like....completely saying the opposite of everything that TRAs claim to believe about their "gender identity".

"Prince helped popularize the term 'transgender', and erroneously asserted that she coined transgenderist and transgenderism, words which she meant to be understood as describing people who live as full-time women, but have no intention of having genital surgery. (bolding mine) Prince also consistently argued that transvestism is very firmly related to gender, as opposed to sex or sexuality.Her use of the term "femmiphile" related to the belief that the term "transvestite" had been corrupted, intending to underline the distinction between heterosexual crossdressers, who act because of their love of the feminine, and the homosexuals or transsexuals who may cross-dress. Although Prince identified with the concept of androgyny (stating in her autobiographical 100th issue that she could "…do [her] own thing whichever it is…"), she preferred to identify as Gynandrous. This, she explained, is because although 'Charles' still resides within her, "…the feminine is more important than the masculine." Prince's idea of a "true transvestite" was clearly distinguished from both the homosexual and the transsexual, claiming that true transvestites are "exclusively heterosexual... The transvestite values his male organs, enjoys using them and does not desire them removed." (bolding mine)

By the early 1970s, Prince and her approaches to crossdressing and transvestism were starting to gain criticism from transvestites and transsexuals, as well as sections of the gay and women's movements of the time. Controversy and criticism has arisen based on Prince's support for conventional societal norms such as marriage and the traditional family model, as well as the portrayal of traditional gender stereotypes. Her attempts to exclude transsexuals, homosexuals or fetishists from her normalization efforts of the practice of transvestism have also drawn much criticism.

Lou Sullivan: was an American author and activist known for his work on behalf of trans men. He was perhaps the first transgender man to publicly identify as gay, and is largely responsible for the modern understanding of sexual orientation and gender identity as distinct, unrelated concepts.

Sullivan was a pioneer of the grassroots female-to-male (FTM) movement and was instrumental in helping individuals obtain peer-support, counselling, endocrinological services and reconstructive surgery outside of gender dysphoria clinics. (bolding mine) He founded FTM International, one of the first organizations specifically for FTM individuals, and his activism and community work was a significant contributor to the rapid growth of the FTM community during the late 1980s.

From what I've read I don't know, it kind of sounds like Lou might have agreed with me that counselling should be a first step before handing out hormones like M&Ms. But unfortunately I can't ask him since he had the misfortune to decide to live as a gay man at the height of the AIDS epidemic.

---------------

Ok I spent some time researching all those folks you mentioned. None of them seem to say, or have the opinion, that counselling is useless for people with gender dysphoria. So my question remains......why is it not considered as an option? You are telling me that it "doesn't work", but not one piece of the "research" you told me to do bears that out, and there is actually quite a LOT of research showing the reverse, that many folks who identify as transgender, especially young children, will eventually desist if supported with counselling but not given a social or physical transition. So. My question is still hanging out there. Thanks for providing me some interesting reading, however!

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watchingspnagain · 3 years ago

Text

Rewatching Route 666

Welcome to “Monster Chassis and Past Cassies: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s1e13: Route 666.

Stephen King's Christine, but make it Sam and Dean. The spirit of a racist a-hole is possessing his old monster truck and killing the people who had a hand in killing him years ago. One of the victims is the dad of one of Dean's old girlfriends, who calls him for help. Dean struggles with his leftover feelings for Cassie (No, seriously, her name is Cassie. I mean.) while Sammy throws all sorts of silent shade Deanward for it. The dramatic conclusion involves Sam putting Baby in potential danger and Dean getting fair-to-middling pissed about it.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

[and we begin:]

Lor:

oooo, no Jensen saying "previously on Supernatural"

this is one of my favorite episodes that isn't very good bounces

Mace:

interesting! (I love that you notice always and I never think to pay attention)

Lor:

(lol. if it were Jared, you'd pay attention, admit it)

Mace:

(probably not, actually. I'm not very observant)

and this is one of the creepiest for me because when I was a kiddo I was terrified that trucks and semis would come to life and chase me down

Lor:

RIGHT?

like, a lot of fans seem to think this one is just cheesy but it LEGIT scared the pants offa me the first time

and honestly, it still kinda does. the REVVING?!

Mace:

exactly

man, the lot of fans must be jaded in some kind of way that we just aren't

poor dears

bless their hearts

Lor:

that thing weighs TONS and you can't even punch it on its snoot!

Mace:

are you...equating a truck to a shark?

Lor:

maybe?

at least I didn't suggest it was pastry...

awww, Dean, come on, go to Pennsylvania

"friend that's not new"

Mace:

oh right! This one is Dean Had a Girlfriend

Lor:

YES

Mace:

and I will NEVER get over that her name is CASsie

Lor:

RIGHT?

ATHENS OHIO

Mace:

WOOT

Lor:

(it is a CRIME that they never actually set an episdoe there)

Mace:

yeah

"this chick in Ohio" now hold on a minute, Sammy

Lor:

RIGHT?

THE FIRST RULE OF WINCHESTER CLUB IS THAT YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT WINCHESTER CLUB

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

I do kind of enjoy his indignation, though

Mace:

ah, we're still in Girls Wearing Too-Small Blazers times

Lor:

GOSH she's pretty

Mace:

SHE IS

Lor:

"hey, Cassie" HIS FACE

Mace:

yep

Lor:

omg Sammy's little smirk

Mace:

Sammy's little SMILE

Lor:

YAAAS

Lor:

okay, painfully 2005 or not, her outfit looks GOOD ON HER

Mace:

she'd look amazing in anything, to be fair

Lor:

well. yeah

Dean's little "hmmph”

Mace:

she looks familiar so I just looked her up and she's in a last-season ep of Buffy

because of course she is

Lor:

oooooo

Mace:

UGH CREEPY

THE REVVING

Lor:

okay, seriously it FREAKS ME OUT

Mace:

YES

it's honestly related to the attraction of helmeted dudes like The Stig or the Mandalorian, except in this case instead of super-hot it's super-terrifying

Lor:

oooo, interesting

the way Dean's eyes track to this dude when she brings up racism

Mace:

YES

SUITS

DED

Lor:

YES they are too adorable in those suits

YOU GUYS NEVER REALLY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME

Mace:

well because they can't actually communicate well

Lor:

SNORK

I just enjoy the way this is gonna repeat again with Cas

Mace:

YEP

omg Dean needs so much help with that tie

Lor:

lolol

I VOLUNTEER

Mace:

somehow I knew you would

Lor:

I can't IMAGINE how you would figure that

Mace:

I know, right? Just a sixth sense I have

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

it's impressive, really

Lor:

SNORK it is. good job. well done, you

the way these two dudes look at each other when he says "a time when this town wasn't too friendly to all its citizens"

Mace:

Ha! yeah, it's like the writers are winkwink nudgenudging us: Hey, look at us dealing wiTH RACE

Lor:

HA!

yeah

Mace:

SAMMY

DEAN: "get in the car"

Lor:

"oh wow. she dumped you"

YES

Mace:

Sammy is floored and it's hilarious

Lor:

YES

Lor:

wraps Dean in a blanket

Mace:

wow that shirt on her...I may be slightly ded

Lor:

RIGHT?

the way it is EXACTLY the right amount of too small

Mace:

YES

Lor:

the LEANING

Mace:

ooof the framing of that shot with the two of them leaning on opposite sides of the doorway

Lor:

YES

Mace:

"we'll keep it strictly business" YEAH RIGHT, DEAN

Lor:

oh Dean, you are RADIATING pain, you little jerk. just TALK TO HER

Mace:

ope, there it is. JOHN.

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

fuck you, John

Lor:

"I didn't mean to hurt you." "well, you did"

Mace:

okay so this is the first actual realistic scene between Dean and any female because it actually ends with the woman saying "fuck it" and attack-kissing him

Lor:

haahahahaha YES

Lor:

AND she throws him on the bed and climbs on. GET IT, CASSIE

Mace:

everyone else shows extremely unrealistic self-control around that boy

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

SNORK

Mace:

oh, right, there's a haunted demon truck in this episode

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOL

Lor:

yeah, apparently

Lor:

the NECKLACE WITH NO SHIRT

Mace:

YES

"my dad's work" UGH, DEAN, JUST STOP

(wow, the dialogue here is actually pretty awful. I mean, I don't really care, but still, it's not quality)

Lor:

Yeah

and it's a shame because this is some of the most vulnerable Dean ever is

Mace:

HAHAHA SAMMY

Lor:

YES SAM is unsifferable about it I LOVE IT

Mace:

yeah

oh, yes, I love it when Sammy gets unsifferable

so hot, that unsifferableness

Lor:

LOOK. it's not my fault I'm distracted by gestures at TV and can't type good

Mace:

snork

Lor:

lookit Sammy's really awesome notebook

Mace:

wow. that's some smooth misdirection there, Lor

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Mace:

UGH

CREEEEEPY

Lor:

IT MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL

Mace:

RIGHT?!

HOW could you think this wasn't scary?!

Lor:

NO IDEA

that's it, cassie, shut those blinds. that'll help

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Sammy making tea. Now THAT. IS. HOT.

Lor:

YES

Mace:

Excuse me while I go to my happy place

Lor:

lol

I also love that Dean and Cassie have sex one time and suddenly they are attached at the hip whenever they're in the same space. it's adorable

Mace:

YES

I was just thinking that the people-staging in this ep is good - Sammy is always off to the side, divided from Dean and Cassie

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

making Dean/Cassie a definite couple

Lor:

YEP

and it is EXACTLY how they stage SO MUCH of Dean and Cas and Sam later

Mace:

YEP

Sammy's HEY GUYS CHECK THIS OUT horrible timing

Lor:

LOL

oh Dean

what this actress does with her hands during this bit is a wondeful, effective bit of business

Mace:

OMG I was just about to say that I want to tie her hands behind her back because her fluttering is driving me BANANAS

Lor:

HAAAAHAHAHAHA

Mace:

it feels like over-acting to me. the idea is good but I think she overdoes it

Lor:

huh. interesting. it feels so real to me

Mace:

LADY PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOL pats you

Mace:

"occasionally I miss boring"

Oh Sammy, you poor double-outsider, I love you

Lor:

YES

"I miss conversations that didn't start with 'this killer truck'"

Mace:

"don't go getting all authoritative on me" WHAT, Girl you don't know what's good

Lor:

"don't leave the house please?" DEAN

Mace:

Dean, pls do get all authoritative with me any damn time you like

Lor:

maybe she'd rather go all authoritative on him

I mean, YES, co-sign, but

Mace:

Ha! Yes, she did make that clear when she threw him on the bed

Lor:

see?

Mace:

and we both know Dean wouldn't object

Lor:

he would NOT

Mace:

how has there not been a Stephen King reference yet?

Lor:

right?

Mace:

(or maybe there has and I've missed it)

Lor:

maybe. I also have not noticed it if it's been there

Mace:

I'm nervous for Baby here

Lor:

RIGHT?

you DID NOT just tap Baby's bumper

now it is on

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

did that look like there was a clutch? I swear that looks like there was a clutch, which there should not be

Mace:

sorry i didn't notice a clutch

Lor:

s'okay

I just swear he's using both feet to stop, and I don't know why

Mace:

the truck just sitting there is way creepier even than when it's running someone down

Lor:

YES

"maybe? MAYBE?"

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

"I'm gonna kill him"

Mace:

SAMMY HAHAHA

Lor:

YES

Lor:

oooof, Dean

Mace:

yeah

gosh, I like her

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

I wish they had brought her back instead of Lisa

THE WAY DEAN DOES NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION

and hides his eyes. and isn't driving

Mace:

FUCK YOU 327

Lor:

RIGHT?!!!!

[after the episode ended:]

Lor:

...and I don't have anything against Lisa, honestly, but it would have made so much more SENSE

Mace:

hm, maybe? But I do like that Lisa and the kiddo represent a more suburban standard Normal Life idea than Cassie would, especially since Cassie already knows his secret and seems like she would fit right into the monster-fighting life pretty easily if she so chose

you need that bigger gap between Dean's monster-hunting life and Lisa's Normal Life to get the tension

Lor:

ooo, fair. I meant it would make more sense from the woman's perspective though. like, WHY does Lisa just let this former one-night stand move in with her and her kid for a year? there would be so much more of a foundation for Cassie

Mace:

Look, clearly Lisa doesn't make great life choices

and, well, LOOKIT HIM.

Lor:

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mace:

I wouldn't exactly turn him away from the door...

Lor:

you are telling me that you would let a PTSD-ridden alcoholic monster-hunting disaster move in with you and [your son]?

Mace:

if he looked like Dean?

and if he gave me The Wink?

Lor:

lol

you know what, I take it back... I think this episode is pretty good actually. its handling of racism is maybe a little hamfisted but not... any more than any other episode? so, like, that IS a problem, but

Mace:

I agree. Overall it is a solid episode, despite that hamfistyness and despite the awkward writing at times. Very creepy Monster-of-the-Week, and good interactions between Dean and Sam

Lor:

yep

and the stuff with Cassie is important Dean-development that we haven’t really had yet. he's a big softie under there

Mace:

and despite the awkward way the rest of the ep talks about race, Cassie is a strong black woman who DOESN'T DIE

Lor:

YES

and she has her OWN LIFE and does not give it up for the white boy at the center of the story

Mace:

EXACTLY YES

you know, I could go for a Cassie spin-off, to be honest

Lor:

YAS

Mace:

she doesn't even have to start fighting monsters. weird shit could happen sort of on the edges and she'd be all NBD I'm living my best life over here

Lor:

YES

and there's this like one episode SEVERAL seasons in where Dean and Cas and Sam show up for like ONE scene but in that ONE scene, she clocks Dean and Cas and the scene is 90% nothing but Cassie making knowing comments at them with her whole chest

and she takes Cas aside and whispers to him about the attacking and throwing on the bed

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

OH GOD WAIT: the whole show is all the side characters somehow trickling in and out of her life, no mention that they've met Sam and Dean but their interactions are always flavored by their past experiences with the boys

Lor:

YESYESYES

omg WOULD WATCH SO HARD

Mace:

RIGHT?!?!

#watchingspnagain #watchingspnagain 1x13 #spn #supernatural #spn meta #spn spoilers #spn 1x13 #watchingspnagain behind the couch #watchingspnagain racism #watchingspnagain normalcy #watchingspnagain outsiders #watchingspnagain representation #watchingspnagain treatment of poc characters #watchingspnagain treatment of female characters

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silverinia · 4 years ago

Text

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

#Christine Baranski #Christmas On The Square #dolly parton #shitty movie reviews by yours truly

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darkdevasofdestruction · 5 years ago

Text

My Strength - Risotto Nero

I was sitting cosily cuddled up in my blanket, enjoying a warm cup of hot chocolate and a good detective-lawyer book by Steve Cavanagh, while listening to Guns’n’Roses in the background, when a loud bang comes from downstairs, and next thing I know, I see my younger sister dressed in my clothes, which was rather unusual, with a huuuuuge grin on her face.

“Whatever it is, the answer is NO.” I say sternly, turning back to my book. “But KAAAAAAAAAAT! There’s this rock pub that just opened and it’s very close to home! Come on, I wanna party! I haven’t partied in SO long! And you know I only trust you to take me home when drunk!” she begged, making me roll my eyes. “No wonder you stole my clothes without even asking me. The answer is still no. You know very well I’m not a party person.” I answer, flipping the page. “But siiiiiiiisssssss!!! It’s rock music! You like that kind of stuff! I promise we won’t stay long! J-Just an hour! Please, just get me out of the house, I’m going insane! Pleaseeeee!!” she got on her knees at the foot of my bed, and I could only sigh in aggravation, hitting my head with my book, before carefully placing it on the nightstand and getting up. “You owe me big time...” I mutter, going to get ready, as I could hear her loud cheer.

I put on an AC/DC Tshirt, with black jeans, black combat boots, a jeans chain, a necklace and do basic make up with a cute eyeliner and purple lipstick, before exiting and raking my fingers through my long, red hair, fixing my fringe out of habit, then put on my black scarf and a black cardigan, get motion for her to lead the way to the place she mentioned.

As soon as we got in, we could hear Guns’n’Roses’ November Rain, and thankfully enough, we found a single table for two, the only one available anymore... But it was next to a big round table where 9 very intimidating looking people stood and chatted, while drinking.

“Uhm...Maybe we should go back home.” I mutter, putting my hand on Christine’s shoulder. “What?! No way! Besides, they look so cool! They’re so hot! Think I can get laid tonight?” she smirked, dragging me to the table. “They look dangerous. I’d rather go home.” I sigh, covering my face with my scarf, feeling anxious. “All the hot people have this refined and mysterious vibe around them, otherwise they’d just be super dull! Liven up a little! Ah, look the song changed! It’s Ozzy Osburne, isn’t it?” she smirked at me with much pride, but I only dragged my hand down my face in desperation. “IT’S MARILYN MANSON, DAMN IT!” I growled a bit louder than I wished for, earning a few glances from the scary table, which made me hide my face even more. “Ah, whatever, who cares, same guy. I’ll go get drink.” she got up, but I quickly grabbed her wrist. “Get me a Pepsi, but make sure he doesn’t take the cap off.” I ordered sternly, as she shrugged off my hand, rolling her eyes.

Thankfully enough, she came back with the bottle just as I told her, and using my key, I easily take the cap off, and use a straw to drink the soda, before I hear one of the guys kept asking for a lighter, just then, I could see Christine’s eyes light up with lust, as she jumped to her feet in excitement.

“You still have that lighter with you, right?! You always play with it don’t you? Come on, give him a fire for his cig!” she grabbed me roughly, until he shoved me to the shaved man who looked like a hobo, who smirked up at me. “Ehhhh? What’s this, a bella ragazza wanting to enjoy my company?” he spoke, eyeing me creepily. “Don’t flatter yourself...She forced me to give you a light.” I mumbled, as I turn on the lighter and light his cigarette. “Why, thank you, gorgeous. Wouldn’t you like to stay with us?” he spoke in a slurry voice, putting one of his hands on my waist. “Paws off, or I burn you.” I threatened lowly. “Awww, little kitty has claws, how cute!” he spoke, but before he could finish the conversation, I turn the fire volume to the highest for a few seconds, which burnt his face...Or his big nose, rather, before turning it off back again. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, BITCH?!” he shot up to his feet, towering and glaring over me. “I warned you not to be a jerk. You play with fire, you get burnt.” I say in a low voice, raising my scarf slightly. “WHAT THE HELL, KAT?! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! APOLOGISE RIGHT NOW!” Christine shook me slightly, which made me slap her hands away. “No. I’m going home, bye. Have fun with your little group of hot shots.” I shrugged, turning to leave, before she grabbed me again. “No! You can’t leave! Mum doesn’t let me alone by myself at night! She’ll punish you!” she shrieked desperately. “I live alone. I don’t care what she does, but she can’t ground me anymore.” I rolled my eyes, turning around, before the purple haired man got up. “Hey, Risotto, these 2 are pretty fun. What do you say we let them stay with us? There’s plenty of space around, right?” he smirked, which only made me more uncomfortable. “Don’t bother, I’m out. Ciao.” I shrugged, making a few steps towards the exit, before my sister started shouting after me. “Mum and Dad are gonna disown you if you leave me here all alone, y’know? You don’t want that, do you?!” I could literally feel her smirk, which made me whip around, glaring at her. “You’re lucky I care about our mess of a so-called family, otherwise I’d have been out of here faster than the speed of light.” I sneered at her, as I sat down on the seat brought by one of them, between the purple haired and the silver haired men. “Di molto, this is fabulous! Such a bella donna with a fiery attitude and a heart of gold, my, you’re perfect!” the purple haired man started grinning and gushing about me, which made me hide my face in my scarf feeling very uncomfortable. “Melone, stop that, you’re making her feel uncomfortable.” the silver haired man spoke up. “But Risotto, she’s so pretty! You can’t deny that! And you know what they say about fire-kissed girls~!” Melone smirked, which made me blush and bite my lip. “I don’t know, Melone, she’s pretty, alright. Pretty rude!” the guy whose nose I burnt grumbled. “I’m not rude, I’m just shy.” I mumbled, leaning back on my chair, still holding my scarf to my face. “Awwww, she’s so cute! That’s it, I’m adopting you! Formaggio, if you say one more bad thing about her, I’m killing you!” Melone growled at the shaved man, while putting his arms around me and pulling me to his chest. “Whatevs, her sister’s much better. Como ti chiami, bella signorina?” he flirted with her, and she was already gleaming, head over heels with glee. “Oh, brother...” I facepalmed, completely done with life. “This is gonna be a long night...” I rolled my eyes, getting out of Melone’s grasp. “Yeah, for me and Christine over here, sure will.” Formaggio’s sleezy smirked pissed me off, so I used a little power of my Stand to deduce where to throw my lighter, so it would bounce off the table, into his forehead, and then back to the table and perfectly in my hand. “I don’t really care what you do, as long as you aren’t disgusting enough to talk out loud like that. Nobody cares.” I say, throwing the lighter and easily catching it back in my hand. “HOW DID YOU DO THAT, PUTTANA?! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!” he shouted, shooting up to his feet, but the man on his right easily stopped him, shoving him to his seat. “Stop being such a nuisance, you’re gonna get us thrown out of this place, and Capo’s gonna be very pissed.” the dark haired man with hair hair tied in multiple places glared at him. “Capo...Huh. What a surprise.” I let out an amused breath. “Capo? Who is Capo? And what kind of name is that?” Christine asked dumbly. “Oddio santo...How are we related...” I sighed in exasperation. “Actually, never mind. Capo is a...Uhm...A nickname for one of this guys. Y’know, all groups of friends have that one person who’s more of a leader? Capo’s kinda like that. Nothing important, so don’t fret over it.” I shrugged, waving my hand dismissively. “Oh, woaw, that’s pretty lame. How come you’re not Capo, Formaggio? You’re so cool and strooong~!” she kept touching his biceps, as he flexed. “Kill me.” I facepalmed, utterly disgusted. “May I speak to you outside for a moment?” Risotto got up, extending me his hand. “Sure.” I mutter, getting up without taking his hand. “Huh...The music can still be heard from outside too. That’s pretty neat.” I said softly, leaning back on the wall. “You know.” he stepped in front of me, looking at me with stern eyes. “Of course I know, I’m not stupid. I’ve known since I first saw you. I just wasn’t sure what you were exactly.” I shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “Why aren’t you running away?” his voice was obviously an interrogation one. “If you’re the Mafia, I can guess you’re Passione...We used to live in a different city, where Buccellati’s gang was protecting the city, and trust me when I say this, but regular criminals wouldn’t teach a guy a lesson for beating up his elderly mother, nor would they try to keep themselves in peace with the whole city like that. I sort of...Owe a favour to Passione because of that...And honestly, you think I can just pick that idiot up and get her out of here that easily? Look at me and my noodle arms and realise that I sometimes struggle to open water bottle caps, okay?” I looked away in embarrassment, hearing a low, amused chuckle coming from him. “Melone was right, you’re pretty fun. What sort of favour do you owe Passione?” he asked simply. “Now, then, don’t you think you’re getting a bit too curious? What happened is between me and Capo Buccellati...Then again...You DO kill, don’t you?” I shifted my gaze to him, smirking slightly. “What makes you think that?” he answered my question with another question. “Buccellati’s gang had a much more protective and gentle aura surrounding them. You and your people are much more threatening and menacing. Especially you...Capo.” I spoke in a softer voice, not sure how to react. “You do realise I’d have to kill you now that you know our secret, correct?” he asked rhetorically, yet his actions betrayed no malice. “It’s your partner’s fault he let that slip, not mine. Besides, it’s not like I could do you any damage, correct? I’m just a frail little girl who is studying to become a Vet. A girl who’s half your height isn’t too threatening, is she?” I chuckled breathlessly, as the song changed to Metallica’s Unforgiven and I unconsciously started humming the chorus. “You’re spared, however, you will have to keep this secret all your life. In addition, to protect our secret, you will have to join our organisation. Medicine is still Medicine, humans are mammals, so if we need help, you won’t be a burden. On a side note, next month is a Metallica concert, if you want to go.” his words had a paralytic effect on my nervous system, so much that I could only stare at him with wide eyes, much like a fawn meeting her hunter. “Katrinaaaaaaaa! Let’s go home with these guys~!!!” all of a sudden, the pub’s door was slammed open, which made me jump and squeal in fright, only to realise it was my sister, dragging Formaggio away. “Wh-What...?!” I could only stare at them with my jaw agape, many question marks appearing above my head. “Come on, have some fun! You can fuck Risotto and Melone all you want too, don’t be so shy!” she giggled, obviously, but despite that, my face became redder than a rose and I had to hide my face in my scarf. “Katrina, huh? What a nice name. Let’s go.” he guided me to the car, and getting in, I glued myself to the door, not wanting to touch anyone by mistake.

---

It sure has been a while since we met, I thought to myself as I snuggled closer to Riz’s chest. I’m still very shocked how our relationship developed so easily and so fast, while my relationship with my sister only went down the hill, just as fast. Not that it was any surprise, to say the least. The only reason why I still answer calls and go to family gatherings is because I have a very conflicted moral and ethical compass, unfortunately, and I’m too afraid to sever the ties that keep be caged.

A year already passed since I was ultimately forced to join La Squadra Esecuzioni, and to be fair, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be, considering they are a bunch of killers. Being the only girl around, and being such a shy trainwreck, it sort of made them try to make me feel comfortable around them...And by that, I mean mostly Melone, Risotto and Prosciutto. The others were more passive...While Formaggio was still a jerk, most likely because I tarnished his pride twice with a simple lighter, and Ghiaccio was...Always in a weird mood. I was mostly allowed to stay at home, no problem, continue my Vet education, while in very rare occasions, I was called over to heal anyone that needed it, or told to go on a mission with someone, but nothing too bad, nor that put me in any danger.

Now, I should emphasise the word ‘ME’ since it wasn’t ME who got in grave danger, but Risotto, in a mission, about 6 months after I joined the Gang.

Pesci and Illusio put Risotto on the bed while I got by his side and to examine how grave his injuries are, and as soon as I realise the hemorrhage and I told everyone to get out as I ripped off his blouse and took out my Stand, and put her hands over his injury, using my healing water to stop the bleeding and stitch back the flesh.

---

It took quite a while, but after hours of tending to him, his injuries were completely healed, and yet, he was still unconscious.

After making sure that he’s comfortable in bed, I go to the kitchen, make something fast to eat, get a bottle of water and get back to Riz’s room, and thankfully enough, he was still asleep. I put the tray on the nightstand and sit on the side of the bed, holding his hand in both of mine, gently stroking it and kissing his knuckles, waiting for him to wake up.

“Kat...?” I hear a groggy voice call out my name, and snap my head up, only to see Risotto’s eyes fluttering open. “Yes, I’m here, Riz. You’re alright, you’re home. Don’t worry about a thing.” I lean towards him, brushing his fringe away. “The mission...” he mumbled, still exhausted. “It’s okay, the others took care of it. I healed all your injuries, but you should still rest for a while. Take it easy.” I smile softly at him, still stroking his hand. “You did well, Katrina. Thank you.” he said, slowly getting up into a sitting position. “Here, you should eat and drink to regain your strength.” I explain, putting the tray in his lap. “I’ll let you rest.” I was about to get up, but I was stopped by him grabbing my wrist gingerly. “Will you stay?” Risotto asked, which made me smile softly, sitting back down next to him. “If you want me to.” I said, looking down slightly. “Are you scared of me, Katrina?” he asks, making me snap my gaze to him. “What? Where did you get that idea from?” I asked, blinking in surprise. “You always avoid eye contact. You always look away. Why?” he asked in a serious tone. “...Uhm...I don’t know, I guess I’m just shy. I’ve never been able to hold eye contact with anyone.” I mutter, scratching at my neck, a habit I have to combat anxiety. “I remember, I know that. It’s a pity.” he took my hand in his, while I was still confused. “What do you mean? It’s no big deal...It’s not like I really have friends to annoy with that or anything.” I shrugged simply. “It’s a pity that someone as nice as you lets others take advantage of her.” he says, which made me bite my lip and frown. “Why does it matter so much? I’m just your subordinate, you call me when you need my help.” I raise my eyebrow in confusion. “You’re not just a subordinate, Kat. You were forced into this. You shouldn’t be involved with the Mafia, you’re a kind soul. You’re so kind that you let your sister make you miserable.” he pointed out, which made me get up, looking at him awkwardly. “I don’t get why you’re so interested in this all of a sudden. I’ll let you rest, good night.” I say, but the instant I turn around, I hear a commotion from behind me, and I see Risotto getting up. “Wait, no, don’t get up, you haven’t rested yet!” I instinctively rush to his side, putting my hands on his shoulders to put him back in bed. “A subordinate wouldn’t behave like this. You saved my life, so I owe you a favour. Ask anything of me, and I will give it to you.” he said, which made me tsk at him. “You let me and my sister live, when you could have killed me. Consider me saving your life a debt paid, so we’re even. Now please leave this be and stop pretending to care.” I looked away, ready to leave. “And if I do? Am I not allowed to?” he spoke with as much firmness as usual. “Why would you, anyway? It’s not like I’m anything special. Why do you insist so much on this?” I sighed, looking at him with a deadpan expression. “Because you are special, and if you had someone to support you properly, you would know that. Kat, let me be your strength and stand up to those that are being toxic to you, even if those people are your family.” he stepped in front of me, gently brushing the back of his hands against my cheeks, before he raised up my face slightly. “I...I can’t do that...I can’t...I...” I stuttered, feeling my eyes starting to water. “Why can’t you, Kat? What are you so afraid of?” he asked, stroking my hair. “I asked Buccellati to get revenge on my ex for what he did to me. My family’s no different...But family is family, I can’t do anything about that except listen and do what they say.” I explain with a sigh “Nothing like that will ever happen to you, I can vow for that. Just let me be your strength, the same way that you and your kindness are the reason why I don’t forget my humanity.” he confessed genuinely, which made my bottom lip quiver. “Is that really...Okay...?” I spoke, barely audible, to which he smiled softly. “I don’t see why not, dear.” Riz leaned in, brushing his lips against mine so softly and tenderly, almost as if afraid that I’d break, which wasn’t far from the truth.

---

That night was free for the both of us, so we thought it would be nice to go for a walk by the beach, look at the twilight as the Sun set and the sky was painted in all the most beautiful colours. We walked with our feet in the water, my arm loosely wrapped around his waist, while his was pulling me into his side by my shoulder. Everything was chill and calm, and yet, my nerves were on the edge, even now.

I guided him to the little pontoon bridge and let our feet dangle, touching the sheen of the water.

“Go on, cara mia, I know you want to tell me something.” Riz pulled me closer to him, kissing my head. “Risotto, darling...You know that I hate social interactions, right? Well, mostly because I’m very bad with them.” I ask, speaking in a soft voice. “You’re not rude, just shy, was it?” he chuckled lightly, looking up at the now starry sky. “Yeah, something like that, I guess. I forgot I even said that when we first met.” I shrugged with a smile. “Remember my sister?” I ask again. “Ah, yes, the one who tried to fuck the whole Squadra, but only managed to get Formaggio, right?” he let out an amused breath. “The one and only.” I smiled slightly, before it faltered. “My cousin is getting married and she invited both of us. I...I don’t know what to do. I really don’t wanna go...But...” I trailed off with a sigh. “Family is Family, huh? You’re still going on with that.” he asked rhetorically, looking at me as I could only nod. “Want me to come with you?” “You’re my only friend, Riz. Having you there would make things much easier to cope with...But...I also wouldn’t want to subject you to such torture.” I mutter with a sadness. “How bad could it be?” he smirked, which made me snap my head to him, frowning. “I wouldn’t wish it to anyone. Not even my worst enemies.” I speak in a clear, firm voice, to get my point across. “I’ve been through almost dying quite a few times because of our Boss. I’m sure I could survive it.” he ruffled my hair playfully. “Are you sure you’re willing to go through that kind of emotional torture just for someone like me?” I tilt my head up to look at him. “I’d go to the end of the world for you, pick up the stars and put them in your hair.” he declared, which made me hide my face in his chest, hugging him as tightly as I could, no longer able to hold back my tears. “I don’t deserve someone like you, Riz. I’m not even worthy of standing around you. You’re an angel. I want to be selfish, I want you to never leave me, but honestly, I don’t deserve you and your kindness.” my voice trembled, just like my body, and then, I could feel his embrace loosening slightly, as he put his hands on my face, lifting my face up to plant a kiss on my forehead. “I know you can’t see how special you are to me, but even so, I’m not going to let go of you. Ever.” he stroked my hair, letting me calm down.

---

Of course, Melone was sweet enough to come with me to help me choose the right dress, and then helped me with my make up and hair, saying that his cute little sister should have an amazing date and feel beautiful.

“Oh, I feel so, so awkward...Dresses aren’t my thing. Get me out of here.” I tugged at my wavy hair, curled for the first time, no longer as untamable as usual. “I don’t know about that, I think you’re beautiful.” he stepped closer to me, rolling up the sleeves of his blazer to show off his tattoos. “Me? Beautiful? Look at you, Riz! You’re perfect!” I frowned, pouting as I poked his chest with my finger. “Let’s go inside, it’s getting chilly. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold.” he chuckled, putting his arm around me, guiding me inside the restaurant.

I gripped Risotto’s sleeve tightly, wrinkling it in the process. We were met by my cousin, who was with my sister and our mother, who looked at us with a fake smile and obvious disgust in their eyes.

“Oh, so you made it. With a hook up, nonetheless. Bailed him out of jail?” mother sneered at us. “Uhm...N-Nothing of the sort. Uhm...Congrats on getting married, Anne. I’m happy for you.” I smiled anxiously, not able to look up at them. “Well, at least one of us. You’ve no chance, anyway. Who’d want someone who can’t even speak, hold eye contact or touch someone?” the bride laughed, while the other 2 women joined in, even louder. “Yeah, I know. Where are our seats?” I asked, sighing. “Oh, right, they are at the family table. I’m so glad you’re here, everyone’s gonna have so much fun, just like at all family gatherings!” she smirked, pointing at the round table in the center of the room. “Thanks.” I muttered, dragging Riz to the table, taking a deep breath to calm myself. “I see what you meant now by torture. How are you related to them? You’re nothing like them.” Riz scoled in annoyance. “I wanna go home...” I bit my lip, not daring to look up at him. “God, give me patience, because if you give me strength, I’ll burn everyone alive.” I pouted, feeling done with life. “I can set Metallica on them all, if you want.” he touched my cheek with the back of his hand. “Let’s go home after one hour. I can’t do this too long. I’ve barely been able to get myself back together since I’ve met you...And now...” I intertwined my hand with his, dangling it down between our chairs, as everyone sat down.

Of course, seeing me there only made them exclaim in surprise as I usually never leave the house, go to social events or anything of the sort. There’s always that family member that everyone must mock, tease and taunt, and I was the one luck enough to draw the short end of the stick.

“Oh my, how come you found someone willing to touch you with all that fat?” “I wonder which of you is more desperate to stay with the other!” “I’m surprised someone could stay around a boring nerd like you who’s afraid of men.”

These, and many more, were the things I kept hearing from everyone, until the groom finally arrived at the table...A man older than even my father.

“Oh, great, she has a Sugar Daddy. No wonder everyone’s kissing her ass like that.” Riz grunted next to me. “It’s fine...Calm down, it’s okay. We can leave soon.” I squeeze his hand under the table. “Wow, Katrina, I didn’t think you were this bold! Giving your hook up a handjob under the table! My opinion on you changed, you’re actually a freaky nympho!” my sister laughed in a pitched voice, which made me squee in shock and go red like a strawberry. “That’s it, I’ve had enough of this fucked up and disfunctional family. Even Passione is saner than them, and that says a lot. Come on, Kat, we’re leaving before I kill them all.” Risotto glared at them with his piercing red eyes as he grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of there. “Hold up, I’m calling Melone to get us home.” he grumbled, talking on the phone. “I’m really, really, really sorry, Risotto. I shouldn’t have asked you to come in the first place. Now I made you feel bad and that’s not cool at all.” I pouted, looking down at my feet. “I don’t want to hear it.” he spoke in a stern voice, hanging up and looking straight into my eyes. “Don’t apologise. I come with you because I knew you’d need someone to support you. But I wasn’t expecting it to be this bad. Now I can understand you better...Katrina, will you let me be your family?” he asked, so suddenly, which made me gasp in shock and confusion. “Wh-What are you saying, Riz...? I don’t quite follow...” I stammered, not sure how to react. “I love you too much to watch such a gentle and kind person like you get eaten alive by her own family. I know you’re too soft to allow yourself to sever any ties with people, but if you let me, as your boyfriend, be your sword and shield, I promise to take care of you and make sure nothing bad ever happens to you ever again. The Squadra already sees you as a family and as disfunctional as they are, they’d be a much better family than your blood one.” he explained, as he opened the car door and helped me in. “I can be your sis, if you want. I’d love to do your hair, nails and make up more often!” Melone smirked in the driver’s seat, which made me blush slightly. “See? It’s all gonna be much better if you stay with us. As family, not as a subordinate or anything of the sort.” Riz gave me the ghost of a smile. “Is it really okay for someone like me to join you, guys? I’m pretty useless...I can’t even stand up for myself. I’ll only be a burden.” I bit my lip, looking away. “Mi Tesoro, you are the embodiment of sunshine. These guys need someone like you around, and with your healing ability that you Stand has, just like how you saved me that day, you can help the others as well. Strength doesn’t have to be only physical, it can be mental, emotional and supporting, and Kat, you can be that Strength for us.” Riz stroked my hair gently, kissing my forehead. “I’m sure Prosciutto will be grateful to have you around more often, since you’re one of the only normal people he can have a sane conversation with. Gelato and Sorbet will be super excited to have someone to gossip and go shopping or get dating and fashion advice. Hell, maybe you’ll be able to solve the others’ behavious problems too. Kat, listen to Capo, he knows how to use everyone’s strengths.” Melone explained. “Eyes on the road, Melone.” Riz smirked, pointing out his lack of focus, to which the purple haired man grinned sheepishly, snapping back to watch the road. “Okay...Okay, Riz, I trust you. So...Please, take care of me.” I smiled shyly at him, holding his hands. “That’s the smile that lights up my days and warms up my heart. Keep it on, you’re my reason to keep on going.” Risotto kissed my lips gently, putting his forehead to mise. “Okay, Riz, I’ll be your strength, and you’ll be mine. Ti amo, amore mio. Thank you for putting up with me.” I grinned widely, feeling my heart beating faster. “Ti amo anch’io, fiore mio. One day, when we’ll be able to live a more normal and peaceful life, I promise I’ll marry you. You’ll be the most beautiful bride in the world, you’ll shine even brighter than the Sun. I want to make you the happiest woman and make sure this gorgeous smile of your will remain forever this way.” he hummed, putting a strand of hair behind my ear, before kissing me even more tenderly than before. “Ahhh, young love, you guys are so adorable. Can I be the Maid of Honour?” Melone looked at us through mirror. “Well, I will need one, so definitely!” I giggled softly. “It sure as hell ain’t gonna be her sister. Actually, never mind, none of your family is invited, unless you let me use Metallica on them.” Riz grumbled slightly, which made me chuckle louder. “Honestly, I don’t even care, do what you want. Have fun.” I grinned carelessly, which made him smirk. “That’s what I like to hear, babe.” he kissed my nose softly.

Soon enough, we arrived at home, and we thanked Melone for going through all the trouble of driving back to my home, before we changed in our sleepingwear, which for him was a pair of long PJ pants, and for me, one of his old band Tshirts and short, and we got in bed, cuddling the whole night.

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blurrypetals · 4 years ago

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Better Together by Christine Riccio - blurrypetals review

originally posted feb. 3, 2021 - ★☆☆☆☆

An ARC was provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. How to begin! This is my first ARC and, after nearly 6 years of reviewing every book I read, I was excited for the opportunity to read something in advance. I am still very excited! It is a really wonderful privilege to be able to read a book that isn't out yet. It was not, however, a privilege to read this book. This book was―and I cannot stress this enough―bad. While I didn't like Christine Riccio's first effort, Again, But Better, it still had some structure to it that made sense and, even if I didn't like it, it still had things about it where I could see why others might enjoy it, which is why I rated it a 2 of 5 and called it done. I didn't loathe Again, But Better but I did loathe Better Together. If this hadn't been baby's first ARC, I would not have finished this book. I usually never finish books I dislike as much as this unless they are so bad that they become funny. This couldn't even get to that point, this was just plain bad. This book was painful. One thing that kicked things off in a really poor fashion was Riccio's inability to distinguish the two girls' inner voices from one another. I was constantly having to thumb back to the top of a chapter just to check if it was a Siri or a Jamie chapter. And okay, yes, let's talk about names, shall we? I really hated the name Pilot Penn in Again, But Better but Riccio really had to outdo herself when she legitimately, actually, really named her two main characters after Jamie and Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones. This is something that is acknowledged in the text because the parents are mega freaks for Game of Thrones, and Riccio attempts to play it for laughs, but I'm sorry, there is no parent in the world, especially not people who are actually fans of those characters, who would legitimately name two siblings after the world's most famous incestuous siblings, and the fact that Riccio had the idea for it and kept it in is honestly a bit troubling. The dual POV from each girl does make sense thematically, but functionally, it does very little to serve the story, as both girls are going through such a similar journey that the book goes through the same lessons twice, making the book twice as long as it needs to be. I would have preferred Again, But Better as dual POV over this. There is so much time dedicated at the beginning toward Jamie and Siri being just soOOooOO dIfFeReNt that it was pretty painful from the start, especially with the lack of proper distinctive voices between the sisters' inner monologues. Not only are we basically given a laundry list of reasons why these girls are such opposites, but nobody talks like a real person in this book, least of all our main characters. Jamie swears like a sailor, but they're cute, colorful swears that nobody in real life would use! How different! Siri refuses to swear, instead using the word excrement instead of shit or intercourse instead of fuck. Again, this is played as a way to supposedly show how different the sisters are, but instead it only proves they do the same "look how quirky!" B.S. and it does nothing to endear the reader to them, only proving they are cartoon caricatures of caricatures, nowhere close to being relatable or interesting. So, let's get into the basic plot and setup, shall we? This book bills itself as an homage to Freaky Friday and The Parent Trap. How do I know this? Not only is that listed on the inside flap (which is fine, I'd like to establish; there's nothing wrong with listing your comps on the inside flap) but it's repeated multiple times in the text that the girls are in the middle of a Parent Trap-Freaky Friday situation. I don't know about you guys, though, but when I'm reading an homage to something, I really don't love it when the characters announce they are in the middle of an homage and then say the title of the thing the homage is to. I think Christine has a pop culture problem. Her whole life is centered around the things she watches, reads, and listens to. That's okay, so is mine! There's nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. There is, however, a problem with dragging constant pop culture references into your writing. Timothée Chalamet plays a weirdly large role here for some reason. I do not care to ever hear a Game of Thrones reference in anything ever again, because this has enough of them to cover me for the rest of my life. We also get Billie Eilish, Men in Black, and a plethora of other things here that only serve to make the reference to the thing and leave, adding nothing to the story and leaving me groaning in its wake. It's nowhere near as bad as it was in Again, But Better but it's still pretty bad here. Using a pop culture reference is not always a lazy choice; sometimes it can build your setting or show something your character is interested in, but rather than referencing something real, Christine could instead use her creativity to create a new, different show that the girls' parents were into, making all those constant Game of Thrones references feel more original and important to the story, rather than pulling a random bluray off her shelf and calling it good. I'd like to challenge Christine to write a book with no pop culture references. She may not be able to help herself. Speaking of laziness, the magic in this book feels particularly lackluster, even in comparison to the sorry excuse for magic in Again, But Better and, even before the magic begins, the girls are already planning to do a regular non-magical Parent Trap because they look so similar, so when the magic is introduced, it doesn't do much for the story. The girls also don't seem to learn much while in one another's shoes, making the justification for the magic feel entirely non-existent. There's also some weird business with glitter and sneezing that feels like a little too much in a post-COVID era, honestly. All in all, this was an extremely painful experience. I honestly have no idea how this book made it to this stage in the state it's in. It's extremely poorly written, pointless, and is filled to the brim with cringe, flat characters, and poor excuses for standup comedy routines. I really was willing to give Christine a chance to improve as a writer from her altogether lame debut, but unfortunately this only somehow proved to be worse.

#better together #christine riccio #again but better #2021 #arc #goodreads mirror #blurrypetals

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thewhaatever · 5 years ago

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BE MORE CHILL LONDON

My brain was very bad at processing things that day but seeing the show on Saturday was honestly the best experience of my life and here's why:

First of all: Joe Iconis was sitting two rows in front of me.

I was freaking out a little and my friend was laughing at me but I didn't want to annoy him so I tried to chill

But then he was standing behind us in line for merch (he was buying a whole bunch of his own merch which was kinda funny) and some other people talked to him so I did too and I'm not entirely sure what I said to him but he was SO nice and then I got a picture and... yeah I was just really happy.

Now to the show:

The set was incredible. Absolutely amazing.

The screen was used so perfectly and made everything seem like a videogame, honestly.

It was basically the only set. The only furniture they had was a desk for Jeremy's room, chairs for the school and some other minor things (I have to say it did seem a little bit empty at times and I wish that would have used a bed at least - didn't make sense to me that Jeremy falls asleep at his desk - but I'm probably just too used to the Broadway set)

More Than Survive was SO good! Scott puts so much emotion in his portrayal of Jeremy... I can't really describe what exactly he did but something about his Jeremy felt so real and yeah I might have cried a little... (I honestly think he’s my favourite Jeremy so far)

Also: Blake's Michael is very different from George's but in such an interesting way. I loved him the second he entered the stage. He really did capture the "Doesn't care about what anyone thinks, but deep down he does a little" - Energy.

Play Rehearsal was.... wow.

Miracle's Christine had no chill. At all. She was so unbelievably weird and quirky. (Also, she seemed much colder / not interested in talking about anything except theatre and when she didn't want to talk about something she was really showing that by acting uninterested... I thought that was an interesting take that definitely worked for the character) Every normal person would have been a little freaked out by her energy during the song probably but Jeremy was just staring at her the whole time with heart eyes it was really cute.

Favourite part was how Jake said: "Rich is doing it cause he's MY BOI!"

Squip Song was great, his VOICE!! WOW. I love James's Rich. Like, you could really see that even though he's the school's bully, there's something underneath that's not right. Everything he did felt very forced and I loved it (also, I told James at the stage door that Rich is my favourite character and that made him really happy apparently)

Now that I am thinking about it, I think they changed that scene a little and Rich didn't pee (so that conversation was missing) but that was probably due to the set bc the toilets were just projections on the screen so it would have been weird if he pretended to pee on the screen 😂

Also really loved the use of the screen during that whole scene, it was flashing and glitching when Rich's Squip was acting up

They brought back the bean bags for Two Player Game!!

The staging for this was so cool because at the end when Jeremy and Michael were dancing the screen made it look like they were the characters in the game (but differently than on Broadway) and I loved it (I'm sorry I'm really bad at explaining this)

Also, Blake's 'Is it really true, I'm your favourite person' was so funny, he did like a model pose or something and was sliding off the bag.

Scott was basically sitting on the floor the whole time because he somehow didn't manage to properly sit on that bag

Also, I think they changed the dialogue about Jeremy's mum a little bc when Michael asks him if he's heard from her Jeremy said "A little" and I'm pretty sure he didn't say that before

I feel Blake's Michael is that kind of person who's really bad at expressing how he feels... like, you could see in his face that he didn't like Jeremy's idea about going to the Payless and that he was genuinely scared about being too uncool for Jeremy afterwards but he really tried to say the "will u be to cool for... videogames" kinda jokey and yeah I'm overanalysing but I loved it

One thing in general: Everyone seemed really young on stage, definitely much younger than the Broadway cast. Especially Jeremy and Michael. I really believed that they were teenagers!! And I really love that.

Scott was fidgeting a LOT with his hands and I feel like that was very in character for Jeremy. I thought so often that he would drop things.... (like the money in the scary stockboy scene.. it took him so long to give it to Michael)

Jakes favourite restaurant is Pizza Hut now

When the Squip was activated Scott was screaming and rolling across the entire stage and it would have been funny if it didn't look like he was actually in pain

Because the stage was different the Squip had to walk on for his entrance and somehow that was incredibly funny to me but I can't explain why

Stewart Clarke. Holy shit. I'd totally swallow a supercomputer if it looked like him! I loovveeed his take on the role. I've seen interviews with him where he was talking about how he has to think of so many weird questions like how does a computer act, does it feel, how does it feel etc. And I really saw that he was thinking about those things. At the beginning his Squip was very robot-ish, simply focused on making Jeremy cool, without any secret plan or anything. But throughout the show, the Squip clearly evolved and became more... human, I guess? Like it was showing more and more human traits/emotion which peaked in The Play (later more on that)

In conclusion: I loved the Squip so so much

Squip: "Everything about you makes me wanna die!"

Jeremy: "Uhhhhhh this is intense!!"

The Brooke/Chloe scene in the mall was so funny and the part where the Squip tells Jeremy what to say (u know, in bmc pt.1) might have been my favourite part of the show. Scott looked so awkward and confused by everything but he did his best to mirror the Squip (they did identical movements the whole time which I don't remember from Broadway but my memory is shit so...)

Millie's Chloe was so over the top I love it.

They changed the dialogue a lot here, so that there's no mention of Madeleine at all so Chloe wasn't pissed or anything (I'm not sure if I like that) Jeremy just said something along the lines of "Oh you wouldn't know her because she's French" and that's where Brooke picks up her trying to speak French- thing

I THINK (not 100% sure tho) that Millie said "Jeremy?" Instead of "Jerry" At the beginning of that scene and that Scott was a bit confused for a second but he just continued with "It's Jeremy" and then Millie had to duck away because she was laughing (but maybe she did say it right and was just laughing at Jeremy in character idk)

I loved how Eloise's Brooke was so awkward. From the second that Jeremy noticed her she tried SO hard to impress him and it didn't work very well but it was so cute. Chloe tries to show her the whole time what to do but that doesn't make it better.

During Do you wanna ride, Jermey got so scared of the girls that he climbed onto the table with the t-shirts (actually now that I'm thinking about it he was climbing on things a lot)

Guy That I'd kinda be into was so cute!! I never particularly liked that song but Miracle somehow gave it a very different flair and I loved that. They changed the staging a bit and there weren't other people with hearts (there were hearts on the Screen) but at one point Rich was coming on stage with a helium heart balloon for like a second and then he disappeared again 😂 that was a bit weird but...

now lets get to the Act 1 Finale which was SO GOOD

Okay, so they changed it up quite a lot: After the whole "Eminem is dead?!" The Squip tells Jeremy that Brooke likes him (and Christine doesn't, yet) and Jeremy is so shocked that he turns to Brooke and says "You like me?" And she's like confused but nods and he's like: "Why???" (I loved that, Scott delivered that line really funny) and then Brooke explains the whole thing with Chloe, that she always gets noticed first etc. (That whole scene was really cute Jeremy and Brooke really seemed to actually like each other and I was really able to relate to Brooke - good Job Eloise!)

Then Brooke starts singing the "I'm tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am" Jeremy repeats it and then she starts Upgrade with the tres magnifique bit. It's like on the OBC until Jake's and Christine's part. They do their verse but run off after "Gotta get an upgrade" (Miracle was singing this up the octave which sounded SO cool) so they didn't have their conversation about Jake's parents (I did miss this a little but I get why it was cut) and then Jeremy ran back on stage followed by the Squip (you can see in Stewart's performance that he's already much more persuasive in a human way than before) who starts to sing the aggressive "C-c-c-come on Jeremy can't you see we got a plan, now be the man..." From the original cast album (I loved this SO much). Everyone came on to sing the "Christine" part in that and was surrounding Jeremy. He then shouts "Arghh too many voices in my head" the Squip leaves, Michael comes on, they do their "Jeremy that's amazing" dialogue, the Squip explains optic nerve blocking and says that he has to cut Michael off if he wants to be popular (Squip: "Cut your ties... or you'll both drown" I remember that because it sounded so unbelievably dramatic), Michael asked "Are you coming" and leaves the stage for Jeremy to sing Loser, Geek, Whatever.

I loved all of that so much because Scott puts so much emotion into this song, it nearly made me cry!! He really conveyed Jeremy's inner struggle without making him look like an asshole, more like a stupid kid that's going to make a really stupid decision

The second verse and chorus of LGW were cut (the "Dad taught me follow your instincts..." part) which I really liked (I never enjoyed the chorus of this song tbh).

"THE PROBLEM HAS ALWAYS BEEN.... .... me" the way Scott sang that truly broke my heart.

AND THEN (Loved this SO SO MUCH) after "ever agaaiiiiinnn" He went straight into that part that I guess you could call an Upgrade reprise from the Original Cast album ("And I wasn't sure before but now I wanna go all the way and more so give me that upgrade" etc.) AND it tied in so perfectly with Michael then asking again "Are you coming" and "Optic nerve Blocking on" and as much as I loved the "I'm tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am" chorus, this was SUCH a great way to end act one, I might even prefer this.

I just love how they mixed in the old parts from this song that I was really missing on the OBC.

When the Squip came out in his first dress (is it a dress?) Costume people were cheering, loved that. (I mean that costume IS gorgeous and Stewart Clarke looks absolutely fabulous in all the costumes)

That was Act 1!! (I am so sorry if you actually read everything up to this point...)

Act 2

Halloween had such an amazing energy!!! The dances!! Ahh

At his "I don't have a machete but a loaf of bread will do" line, James threw the bread up in the air but didn't catch it and just hit his head as he went to pick it up as if he was blaming his Squip (not sure if that was supposed to happen but I loved it)

I loved how the Squip joined the dance, it looked so fancy with his costume 😂 I know he did this on Broadway too and I never really understood why (the others can't see him after all) but there it kinda felt like it was hinting at the fact that the Squip was becoming more human-ish??? (I'm definitely overthinking this) Like he was having fun maybe??? Idk

Millie's Do you wanna hang was so hilarious!!!

Like I said they didn't have a bed so she was just dancing around him (which looked good but I missed a bed here tbh) and they added a bit of dialogue (I think, maybe it was in the Broadway version) where Jeremy asked her "Are you jealous of Brooke??" And she was like "I'm not jealous I just don't understand why everyone likes her and no one likes me." (Or something like that) and the way Millie delivered that line really gave Chloe a whole lot of character depth. She sounded so heartbroken, I just wanted to hug her.

When the Squip shuts off (it looked really funny), Stewart just trust-falls backwards off stage and someone has to catch him and I was just thinking what if whoever catches him forgets about it??? 😂😂 (No seriously, dear catch person, don't forget this, ever... we need him as a Squip)

And now, the moment we have all been waiting for. MITB

Ahhh I was having so many feeling during this scene. I already told you that I love Blake's Michael and I really loved how rational and smart (?) He sounds in the scene before the song compared to Jeremy who kept insisting that the Squip isn't bad.

They added a bit of dialogue here too I think, because Jeremy said something along the lines of "You said technology isn't dangerous-" "Yeah unless someone uses it like you do!" (Something like this), really loved that as people somehow keep insisting that this is a show about the dangers of modern technology (It's definitely not).

Blake and Scott both did such an incredible job in this scene (and overall obviously), you just knew something bad was about to happen...

At the "Leave me alone" (not sure if that's what he's saying) line Jeremy steps reaaalllyy close to Michael (like there noses were almost touching close) and he looked so intimidating towards Michael and Blake sounded actually a bit scared when he says "Or you'll what?"

Then they just stand there for some seconds, not moving, before Jeremy says the "Get out of my way, loser" and Scott says this with so much hatred, my heart was actually hurting. Michael then just steps away and he looked sooo sad I almost cried.

MITB was absolutely amazing. Again very different than George's version but with just as much emotion and Blake's voice was sooooo beautiful, I can't!!

He sang the last "Michael in the Bathroom by himself" a bit different (can't really describe it but the note on "bath" was higher than usual? I don't know much about music sorry) and I loved loved loved that

The scene with Christine and Jeremy was so sweet. They were so unbelievably weird, I love them.

When the costumed person between them leaves, Christine pulls Jeremy across the stage by his legs and places them on top of hers (like in the promo pic) and it looked so cute!!

After that when Rich comes on and says the "I'll burn you out" I was soo sure somehow that there used to be a voiceover of his Squip but I can't find it anywhere so idk I'm confused... But it's definitely not there anymore.

Smartphone Hour. Holy shit, that was SO good. Renée Lamb's voice OMG!! Absolutely incredible.

(I just had to notice once again how much I hate the costumes in this scene... like the colours are great but what teenager wears THAT to sleep???)

The screen was so cool here again!! It obviously showed Jenna's selfie with the house (which I want printed to hang on my wall tbh) and then at the end it was full of fire that changed its colour and all of that was so fitting for the colour scheme!! The entire set design is just so incredible.

Also, Brooke is eating a banana when Chloe calls her and when she tells her about the fire Eloise just yeets it across the entire stage

They all looked like they were having so much fun!!

Back to Jeremy: For the scene with Mr Heere, Scott was switching back to total asshole mode... Internally I was like "Uhh that little shit" but yeah, great acting!!

I LOVE the pants song! It's so underappreciated!

The "You're burning incense" line got a lot of laughs

"Say it like you're in the army!"

"NO, SERGEANT, SIR!!!" *salutes*

Loved that

Pitiful Children was actually SO intimidating!! The use of the screen here and in The Play was almost overwhelming but like in a good way, I really felt the seriousness of the situation.

Again great acting skills from Scott and Stewart. Jeremy was so torn between giving in and knowing that it's wrong and the Squip really felt humanly evil at this point.

Renée Lamb's riff!! Omg! She did it very different than in the press videos but it sounded so cool!!

Also, I felt so bad for Jenna. Her "No one's ever asked me that before" really hit me.

"Michael makes an entrance!!!!!" was perfect, I love Blake!

The fight between Jeremy and Michael looked SO violent 😂 at one point towards the end Jeremy punched him and he was just lying there on the edge of the stage for some minutes and only woke up to join everyone screaming at the end.

I loved how everyone acted when they were squipped!! They were very obviously not themselves.

Especially Christine was acting very very differently. Her voice sounded completely different and you could see that Jeremy made his decision to give her the mountain dew red the second she opened her mouth.

Jake's "God I love me!" Was just really wholesome. He sounded so surprised about that.

They didn't have the "My Squip says I can go all the way to Broadway" :((( but I can live with that...

The part where the Squip “Died” was SO good!!! This was really the moment where the Squip felt very much like a human being. He was screaming and begging and sounded actually terrified. His acting here was absolutely incredible. I almost, almost felt bad for him a little.

Also, the projections were amazing, it looked like the screen shattered when the Squip died.

Again, one thing that really bothered me: What kind of hospital doesn't have beds??? Jeremy and Rich were just sitting in wheelchairs which was fine but like... Why no bed???

I loved James' acting in this scene!!! He was a COMPLETELY different person and everyone noticed that right away. Even without the l lisp, you would have noticed simply by the way he was talking. James really did a great job with Rich!!

His "I'm totally bi now!!" Sounded so surprised and got a lot of applause.

Voices in my head is my favourite song and made me cry 😂

Christine's Squip is now Greta Thunberg!!!!

I loved how Jeremy was totally his old self again when he was talking to Christine. He was stammering and fidgeting with his hands a lot and only managed to bring out the "Bowling Alley performance art?" Because Christine kept encouraging him which was so cute. If there are somehow still people out there who think that their relationship is underdeveloped they should watch this version.

The kiss was so cute!! Miracle and Scott have amazing chemistry!

I really think that's all I have to say... It's a lot I'm sorry 😂😂😂 just had to write those thoughts down.. I hope it makes a little sense I was a bit sick in the last few days so excuse me if anything's worded in a weird way...

I loved it so so much and I'm so happy they got the well-deserved extension! I'm definitely going again sometime soon 😊😊

#long post #very long post #be more chill london #be more chill #bmc #scott folan #jeremy heere #blake patrick anderson #michael mell #the squip #i'm sorry i hope this makes sense

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i-want-anne-hathaway · 4 years ago

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I CAN’T FIND USNAVI

Okay, I’ve been putting this off for literally the longest time, but I want to finish this challenge eventually.

The vibes that In The Heights gives off is just- I love it.

I was so sad that the movie got pushed back because this was gonna be the year for movie musicals. Hamilton pro shot, In The Heights, West Side Story, and The Prom. Three of four have Ariana DeBose, as they should

Benny has just told me I have no skills like three times. Like, sir, I KNOW

The last minute of those crazy long songs always go so hard. Non stop, In The Heights, Beautiful, Freedom, Bikini Bottom Day. It’s just- perfection.

Breathe but it’s Antonio Cipriano :)))

This is making me realize that I don’t really like... know the plot of In The Heights. Like, I know the basics, but outside of that I’m clueless.

“Straighten the spine” me who’s been hunching over despite being against my bed frame

JUST BREATHE, EMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I’m pretty sure Benny’s Dispatch is just Benny being a dumbass at work with Nina, which is like... valid.

I hate that I see the title of “It Won’t Be Long Now” and think of Shrek. It’s terrible.

Vanessa 🤝 Naomi Rodriguez 🤝 Christine Canigula

Inútil is that one song of the parent/older person monologing that most musicals have. And like, they’re not BAD, it’s just that most of the time I don’t fucking CARE. *cough cough* We Look To You *cough cough*

I do be vibing to No Me Diga. It’s just gossiping and like... mood.

“I dropped out” I relate to this girl on a spiritual level because everybody’s like “you’re doing great” and I am LITERALLY failing a class.

96,000 is such a bop, i can’t. It’s SOOO good. It’s just so fun to listen to.

I spent so long memorizing everybody’s part of 96,000 cause it’s so fun. I just rewind it to do each individual part.

“If I win the lottery, you’ll never see me again” “damn, we only joking, stay broke then” the best line.

THE BEGINNING OF PACIENCIA Y FE TOOK ME SO OFF GUARD!

Also I have no clue what’s happening during this song.

Okay, I’ve looked it up, and this too is an older person/parental figure reminiscing/monologuing. But like, I dig this, so it’s fine.

When You’re Home is so pretty. I don’t have much else to say, but I’m just picturing it and it’s adorable. I’m so ready for when this movie comes out.

I feel like I’m supppsed to care about Piragua, but it’s happening right before The Club and Blackout, so I can’t bring myself to give a shit.

The whole situation between Vanessa and Usnavi in this is so petty. Just like “I’m gonna make you jealous” “no u”

BLACKOUT IS THE BEST SONG IN THIS MUSICAL! LIKE, I STAND BY THAT. EVERYBODY SINGING AT THE SAME TIME IS JUST A VIBE

“We are powerless” THE DOUBLE MEANING, I CAN’T WITH THE GENIUS OF THIS MUSICAL!

I WANT THIS MOVIE SO BADLY, I CAN’T!

Sunrise is so sweet. We love to see it.

There’s something about the way that Lin raps that makes me feel nostalgic, and I can’t explain it at all.

“It really said US Navy” I explained that to my mom, who was in the Navy, and she thinks that it’s the funniest thing ever.

Enough is a bop though. And honestly though, good for her.

“When you have a problem, come home, don’t run away from your family” THAT CALLED ME OUT ON SO MANY LEVELS, AND I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF THEY DIDN’T

“N-n-n-no, n-n-n-no” That’s so much fun to say.

Me, going to look up what the fuck they’re saying:

Even though I don’t understand, it’s a vibe anyways.

The entire town just became elementary schoolers like “Benny and Nina sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G”

Carnaval Del Barrio is so good, I didn’t even realize that it was 7 minutes because it’s so much fun to listen to.

Me, trying to smile, knowing that Abuela’s going to die by the next song:

I PLAYED THE FIRST CHORD OF ALABANZA BY ACCIDENT, AND I STARTED CRYING BECAUSE I GOT SAD!

WHEN EVERYBODY STARTS SINGING, IT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL, AND I CAN’T TAKE IT.

And now I remember why I’ve avoided Act 2 of In The Heights like the plague. Because I hate being sad.

We go from death to business wars, and I wasn’t ready for it. Like, I should’ve seen it coming, but for some reason I didn’t.

“How do you get this gold shit off” THIS FUCKING IDIOT CAN’T OPEN CHAMPAGNE, AND I LOVE HIM.

Benny and Nina really want to remind me that I’m single, huh.

Why am I just realizing that Finale is being sung over a recording? I’m so fucking dumb, honest to god.

Lin really said “so if I’m not in this role, it’ll be Javier Muñoz” huh

Finale really said found family, and I love it.

Final Judgement: Despite Lin being one of the most well known names, In The Heights is often underrated, and it’s really a shame because it’s really good.

#long post #brees favorite games #tw cursing #tw capslock #tw death mention #tw death

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ayashiki-i-i · 5 years ago

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Last Friday, I had the absolute joy and privilege to see Be More Chill in London!

(Yes, last Friday, this has been sitting in my drafts for over a week because I couldn’t figure out how to appropriately convey my delight with this show, and also yes, joy and privilege, call me dramatic but I swear to god nothing on this Earth makes me appreciate my life quite as live theatre.)

I have loved this show for a very long time. Not quite since its first Two Rivers Theatre run, but very early on from when it caught the internet’s attention. I was at the start of what was to become a viral sensation, and I was with the show, rooting for it, hoping for it, ever since. I feel like I walked the journey from crossing million hits on Spotify to the Broadway alongside the cast and creators. I felt immensely happy and proud for these people I never met when they announced their off-Broadway return, and I honest to god cried the day they opened on Broadway. Needless to say, I was overjoyed, literally jumping with happiness, when they announced they will stage a production on West End. Or technically off-West End? I’m still very confused how The Other Palace is not West End and Victoria Palace literally around the corner is West End... Anyway. I have not walked into that theatre on Valentine’s Day with low expectations.

And my Mount Everest high expectations were far, far exceeded and shot somewhere into the stratosphere.

I really can’t with words describe how much I loved this show. Joes Iconis and Tracz managed to hit some very special spot with this musical. It’s truly hard to describe, but this show just makes you happy. It makes you involved and interested. And I gotta tell you, I think we hit the press night, because there was a bunch of people (very respectfully) scribbling on their pads and iPads during the show, so this wasn’t an audience primed and geared for this type of musical. And that’s not even counting all the parents chaperoning their teenagers. And I can guarantee you everyone had a great time. During the intermission I went to get a drink and witnessed several conversations between aforementioned parents that all pretty much amounted to “wow, this is actually good!” It’s honestly such a treat to be in an audience that’s genuinely enjoying themselves.

This show is funny, and heartfelt, and charming. So charming. It has somehow a vibe of a really well done high school production, which could maybe sound like a criticism but i swear it isn’t!

I haven’t seen much of the previous productions, except few clips from the Two Rivers bootleg slime tutorial, but I really tried not to watch too much, hoping against hope there will be a revival one day (I try not to watch shows I have a chance of seeing one day. I’m fortunate to have the chance of having the full experience live so I try not to ruin it for myself lol). I gobbled up all the official promo clips and videos from the NYC revival, being super unlucky and managing to plan my New York trip in that small window when BMC just closed Off-Broadway and before it got on Broadway. I haven’t even listened to the Broadway recording, because by the time it came out I knew they’ll be staging a production over here. So i went in quite blind. With all that previous ado, this is how it was:

The book is so good. So so good. Many times when I fall in love with an album, the actual musical doesn’t hold up because the book doesn’t compare (hi, Dear Evan Hansen). But BMC is as engaging and fun between the songs as during them. Tbh I don’t love the changes to the songs they made, but I don’t really hate them either... Now having listened to the Broadway recording they reverted somewhat back to the original album on West End and I’m happy they did, but still. Especially Pitiful Children did not deserve the cuts. But I mean its still mostly the same album and it’s brilliant and fun, and ok, Looser, Geek or Whatever is a bop.

(Although I always kinda liked that Jeremy didn’t have a typical big “hero song” because he keeps mentioning how he isn’t a hero and it was kinda ironic that his own show refused him the hero treatment, but the song is solid.)

This cast is EVERYTHING. I’m sorry all previous casts, I love you and I respect you but i really think the British cast is (so far) the peak? Obviously as I said I don’t have the full picture to compare, but honestly these guys are all so good and I can’t imagine anyone else in these roles, they set the bar so high. Yes, even Michael. Omg I’m so sorry George Salazar! This role is his in a very special way, and I feel blasphemous saying this! But that’s what makes Blake Patrick Anderson so special, because I didn’t think I will ever be able to accept another Micheal than George Salazar. But from the first moment Anderson appears on stage, you don’t think of George Salazar. This right here is a Micheal and that’s it. I think he’s slightly less... Manic, than Salazar, and more caring, but also more stubborn, and nerdy. My friend said after the first act the character’s problem is that he’s a bit too likeable and it’s almost unbelievable he would be a social outcast and she was right. The dude is so damn likeable! So charming, so positive. And then Micheal in the Bathroom hits and omg does it hit. Also Blake Patrick Anderson has a really long name is very pretty. A+ snack. I’m in love. Scott Folan is, uh, I don’t really love him vocally... Ok I liked him until Loser Geek of Whatever. I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t his day. Or maybe that song is just written for Will Roland and no one will ever measure up? Tbh I haven’t seen Roland sing it live so who knows, maybe it is one of those songs that’s hard to perform without yelling a bit. Praying circle for the West End cast album? However Scott Folan’s acting is a masterclass. He’s so awkward in the first act, so sad, but also sweet. Actually I said i didn’t love his singing but when his voice cracks all over in his first few songs it’s superb and also his “Christiiine~” is really beautiful and lovely, so, dunno *shrugs*. And then in the second half he totally sells his confidence and assholer-y and like... They seem like two different jeremys, the squipped and un-squipped one. But ultimately he just gives such good-kid vibes. He seems like the perfect midpoint between Will Connolly’s shy Bambi and Roland’s geeky recluse. This Christine is absolutely feral. Like, you have no idea. Some people commented on the video of I Love Play Rehersal from the rehearsals that this Christine is not chaotic enough, so I’m seriously worried how chaotic Stephenie Hsu was? :D In any case Miracle Chance I thought was perfect, the ideal mixture of quirky but relatable, sweet but strong. Also she is hilarious. I’m pretty sure she got the most laugh out of the audience, not just because the actress’s absolutely perfect comedic timing but also that role is so well written. Like you really can’t get the full idea of this character until you watch the show, you know? It’s very layered, but each layer is easy to get so she makes a really fun character to watch. The Squip is hot. Like so hot. And his costumes are wonderful. And I know I’m not the only one who didn’t love Jason Tam’s accent as Squip and like... I think I know what he was going for but it just doesn’t work for me. This Squip is a lot more like Eric William Morris, just more hot. Oh yeah I mean the dude is fantastic actor too, and his voice is something impressive, but mostly I was just thinking “hot” whenever he was on stage :D James Hameed’s Rich is vocally stunning. By far the best Squip Song I have ever heard. Also he has Pickle Rick tattoo?? It’s fucking brilliant I HATE IT! :D Millie O’Connel is perfect of course. She has such a presence on stage. It was hilarious when she came out after the show, with her hair down and make-up off and said hi and people mostly kinda ignored her cause... She’s really a hurricane on stage and when she dials it down just a notch I really think people don’t connect her to her stage persona :D

(Also like, massive kudos to The Other Palace’s stage door, cause they allow you to just hang around the bar where the cast has to go through to leave the place, so no dirty alleyways stage dooring in rain and cold and possible pickpockets around.)

I really loved the staging, and it’s very small, very minimal, which isn’t something I normally like, so well done! They definitely dialled back from the Broadway (the bean bags are back!) and honestly the minimal props and simple set really suit this show. It adds to that almost-like-a-really-good-school-play charm. But also they have this massive LED screen as the background so they can change and move and animate their backdrop and it’s honestly so impressive. The artwork is so perfectly in line with the show’s aesthetic. And it’s building up and up towards the show’s climax which I thought was pretty subtle and pretty neat creative decision.

Ugh this is so long I didn’t think it would be so long :D But I have one criticism I cannot not mention. And I kinda always had this, but seeing it live it jumps out on me more - I don’t feel Jeremy and Christine :| I mean don’t get me wrong. The actors have amazing chemistry, their added song is the one that I actually really like and it makes sense, there’s so much more meaningful interaction they have in the show than the songs wold suggest. But. It still doesn’t quite sit well. Besides the fact that I don’t think the show’s narrative is about Jeremy getting the girl - that’s not really his character arc. But also, although they’re not incompatible, he gets the girl he doesn’t even really know, and she definitely doesn’t know him. I think I would prefer if they just stayed friends at the end, but if there had to be romantic conclusion... Well, I mean who doesn’t ship boyf friends, but seriously if Michael was a girl I’m pretty sure he’d be the romantic endgame for Jeremy. You know the type, the old friend who was by the protagonists side and believed in him all along? Yeah. But besides that, i was surprised to find I kinda liked Jeremy with Brooke too? I mean they have the same problem as Jeremy and Christine, with not knowing each other and all that, but at least it’s mutual, and they seemed to have a spark. But maybe it’s just because I unexpectedly really, really loved Brooke (she doesn’t have much space on the album and no one ever really talks about her, why does no one really talk about her???). She defies a lot of her archetype, she seems like such a sweet person. I guess I would just like to see more of her, and more depth to her, which a romance with the protagonist would’ve given her.

But tbh the show devotes a lot more time than I thought it would for Christine and Jeremey’s relationship to develop and it isn’t unrealistic, so it ended up being a pretty minor issue, which i though would be a bigger one.

Tl;dr (oh my god why is this so long????) this show is everything I wanted and more. The West End cast is amazing, charming and delightful and each of them is perfectly cast to really embody their character, while giving some fresh outlook on characters I thought I knew very well and filling very big shoes of the original cast I thought couldn’t be replaced. Also I didn’t talk to any of them but they spend a long time hanging out with the fans after the show and seemed genuinely super nice and pleased with the love the show is getting. The book is more than an equal partner to the music I already was in love with (also Joe Iconis was at the show I saw! I didn’t talk to him because I’m me and I will forever regret it!). The Other Palace’s staging and direction is wonderful, and the choreography is impressive and very on brand with the rest of the show, very modern, very electro and robot. I enjoyed every second and the standing ovation at the end was well deserved.

Just to re-affirm how much I loved this show - just few days after seeing it I booked a ticket to go see it again almost immediately lol. So if anyone is seeing it this Wednesday 26th Feb and you can telepathically pick me in the audience come say hello!

(Or like, drop me a message like a normal person if you’re also going alone and want to meet with someone to seem less like a weirdo! :D)

#ramblings #i have a life #be more chill #bmc #be more chill west end #i love musicals!#musical theatre #review #i guess?#it’s pretty much just me yelling what a good time i had

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heeres-suffering · 4 years ago

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Be More Alluring: a Personality Swap AU

[pic description and source will be at the bottom of this post, under the read more]

Start of summary:

“You need to be more alluring.”

"... don’t you mean attractive?”

“I do not. Your attractiveness is adequate, Brooke; if you want to mask your apparently latent queerness, you have to make them want you straight. Isn’t that why your step-father defended you?”

Brooke Lohst is a loser.

But you know what? That was okay.

She always knew she was a weird one. The intensity of her affection for puppies, picture books, and near-constant daydreaming has lasted well-past a normalcy she can’t seem to grasp; when coupled with her inability to befriend anyone (besides the similarly self-identified loser Michael Mell), it’s not a surprise the rest of her peers have left her behind.

However, there were... ah, worse things in her life to worry about then some mild bullying. She liked her passion well enough, and all of her true insecurities went largely unnoticed, so any insults or weird looks rarely lingered in her mind. It’s not like she was a constant target either, which helped a lot. All in all, she just planned to hunker down, wait out the awkwardness of High School like everyone else, and move on to the rest of her life...

Except.

When Brooke develops a crush on a girl she’s never talked to, after years of avoiding fairy tale romance and trying not to think about the inevitability of marriage (or how finicky her attraction to boys is in the first place), it feels like her whole world is about to cave in. She’d do anything to make sure her parents, especially daddy, never find out... including buying an edible super computer from the loudest, tiniest guy in school.

End of summary.

Alright!

Hi, hello, it’s Mod Seb, and here’s an AU I’ve been rolling around for a few days! You are free to do with this concept whatever you want, but I wanted to introduce it with a good chunk of the info I’ve already worked out in my head.

So. As the CWs are... too numerous, I’m going to go with a blanket “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” label and encourage you not to read the rest of this if you have any big darkfic triggers that could be upset by mere mention; this isn’t a fic tho, so descriptions of anything awful won’t last long.

Although, I will mention upfront that Brooke isn’t a binary lesbian. I know the description might read like I’m setting her up to be 100% homosexual; she’s bi with a strong preference for girls, and anyone who presents soft enough in gender or appearance. If it wasn’t for the end-game pairings, her unfamiliarity with smaller details/history of the LGBTQ+ community, and general “gay newb” status, she’d likely ID as a bi lesbian!

(ships and everything else under the Read More)

Okay. That out of the way, there’s quite a number of pairings; I’m pretty sure it’s a super polyamorous and sexual AU, though you’re free to change this list as much as you’d like:

[bolded are end-game ships. italics physically hook up at least once. strike-through means they were in a relationship but break-up in some way before the ending. (H) stands for healthy, while (T) is toxic and/or noncon. underlined characters are pining for the other and may never confess their true feelings]

Brooke/Christine (H), Brooke/Rich (H), Brooke/Jenna (H), Brooke/Michael (H), Brooke/Chloe (T), Brooke/her Daddy (T), Brooke/Squip (H), Brooke/Jeremy (soft T at first bc of mirrored canon-compliant manipulation, H later on), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy (H), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy/Rich (H), Rich/Moses (H), [insert every form of Rich/Mo/Squip/Jeremy here] (H), Jeremy/Chloe (T), Jeremy/Michael (H), Michael/Christine (H), Michael/Christine/Mr. Heere (H; no, seriously), Madeline/Brooke (H)

This is, of course, a role swap AU where Brooke and Jeremy trade places based on my personal lore for their home lives. I always have some pretty fucked ideas as I don’t imagine MB is a great place with great adults, and I pick and choose which parts of canons I use and which I don’t.

There is no definite ending planned in mind as this isn’t an outline; it’s meta (or an imagine or w/e) for an AU that you’re free to do whatever with.

So,

The big difference is that Brooke was picked by Michael, while Jeremy was picked by Chloe. Jeremy is trans and hadn’t come out yet; if Chloe had known he was a boy, she wouldn’t have grabbed him. In contrast, Michael’s never gave a shit about potential friends genders.

Jer and B’s personalities... are altered some. Not ALL the way, but kiiinda fusing into their roles, kinda tweaked (I'll get back to that).

The main point of this for me was Brooke/Squip/Jeremy, with B/Jer having a MUCH stronger focus than in canon, and a really bad Chloe acting as one of the major villains.

Michael gets roped into Chloe’s shit, even tho he's still generally a good guy here, bc he's worried about B and thinks she can't properly take care of herself.

While B DOES have a strong crush on Christine, she’s the opposite of the Squip’s “goal”; that’s (obvs) masking, or making passably digestible, her queerness.

Her Mom and step-’Daddy’ have reacted to her friendship w/ ‘openly gay moms, also very flamboyant and GNC’ Michael... poorly.

Michael thinks the solution has to be “act as aggressively yourself as you can, and if they reject you, you know me and the mom’s have a space for you”. This works for him bc he’s permanently hyper-visible, what with all of his own marginalized identities. But, not only has she flied under the radar in comparison to him for years, he doesn’t know everything about her life.

In fact, he doesn’t know most of it. She’s very good at hiding things.

Meanwhile, Jeremy, one of the more popular ‘boy... ish’ (we’ll get to this, too) people in school, is mid-psychosis and self-destruction. He actually has schizo-affective disorder--as is the case with all of my versions of Jeremy--which he needs medication for. Combined that with so many bad influences and trauma, he can no longer fully control himself or his life.

The way he handles this (badly) is to ‘whore around’--which, besides being Chloe’s pet, is kinda why he’s so popular. Nobody respects him, but he’s viewed some form of favorably.

Jeremy is in a relationship with Rich, but he won't let him get as close/protective as Rich wants; Mo and Rich were doing their own man-whoring (but healthy, just droppin’ panties and making dudes and chicks swoon--yeah, Rich is out as bisexual, this is a very ‘the Squips are a good thing’ AU) to gain their standard reputation, but in the course of that, they got together with Jeremy and it became... complicated. Both of them are very "nnn" about how bad his life is for Jer.

The way that their personalities are altered is... okay. To explain this, I have to talk about my characterization of canon-Brooke and Jeremy in relation to this, starting with Brooke:

I imagine B as just a liiittle below the line of "all the way there" for sorta-similar reasons to Jeremy here: trauma, and Chloe (which is why that’s what Jeremy gets in this, it’s just WAY worse when compounded by everything else). She’s also--like me, and like almost every character I write as a result--autistic, in a near-permanent state of “not enough accommodations” and over-stimulation. This leads to a lot of dissociation and a very wandering mind, as well as being perceived as a bimbo or dumb blonde or w/e misogynistic bullshit is projected onto her by the boys she dates (she’s also much more down the middle bi outside this AU).

So, going back to how she is for this AU: she's actually not super nerdy, despite the close connection she and Michael have. Honestly, it’s their general neurodivergent weirdness that bring them together, and so she’s mostly adopted her nerdy interests through him, whether directly a thing he likes, or finding a whimsical variant that fits her tastes.

Obviously, unlike Jeremy, she doesn’t mind being called a loser. She does any insinuation she might be queer. This including anyone who calls her gay or a dyke.

She has too much Cis Male Trauma (unlike canon, where it comes from both cis angles) to really entertain the idea of a Traditionally Male Partner. This means she skews HEAVILY towards hard GNC guys at the very least, and generally finds herself most interested in the idea of enbies and women. she's also not super into butches tho, bc her trauma mixing with her sexuality has latched on to Strong Masc People Are A Threat.

An expansion on her interests, in canon and otherwise: animals, ASMR/sensual service work (including massages and stuff), spending hours just sorta sitting by herself and letting her imagination wander, fairy tales, and YA-and-under fantasy books.

(Here, she tries to avoid het or f/f romance... except that, this past year or two, she’s started really like m/m stuff--esp after getting REALLY into drag shows, which she could enjoy safely since girls like Chloe have gotten into them too; in canon, she’s a romance fanatic)

Now... this is one of the really darkfic element; she's fucking her step-dad.

She does this so that he doesn't walk out on her, her mom, and her little sister*. Her mom has a good-enough job as a standard office woman, but he makes enough to pay the rent on their nice townhouse and all the bills she can’t. So, after he expressed interest in Brooke and then casually mentioned he could always just leave if she wasn’t comfortable, she reluctantly entered a relationship with him

(* = her sister is currently know as her brother; he’s like 12 or 13, and started showing signs of trans/queerness which have been Heavily Discouraged. Brooke worries about him a lot)

((I didn’t use she/her pronouns bc I’m not entirely sure he would change them? This is an OC Oli created at the beginning of our interest in BMC, and we haven’t worked on him at all since, so how his characterization will be is up in the air))

Canonically, Brooke's "in love" with her daddy, which is a self-imposed delusion; if she actually addressed it, she’d says she’s well aware that’s not true, but it's so much easier to pretend when you’re cornered like that. Brooke’s life blows.

She’s a lot more honest to herself about hating him here; still, she tries to be as polite and generally-friendly as she can, doing what he says whenever he wants.

OKAY, THAT’S BROOKE. If any of that is badly described or potentially-offensive, it’s just bc I glossed over SO MUCH DETAIL, even in that amount of it!

So. Jeremy.

I don’t have to go over him much and we’re all mostly aware of how I feel about him and also I don’t have the energy to do this again--

(just... read my fics The Devil at your Door or hello yesterday or something... eyyy actually do that, my ao3 username is Sedusa, blah blah blah ANYWAY)

--but basically: He's still very nerdy, like, he’s super into film as well as video games (which is another constant for me), but after being largely ignored in elementary, he's been trailing behind Chloe at her orders since they were in 6th grade. As a result he isn't very open about... any of his interests.

In 7th grade, he came out as trans to everyone. Chloe was furious, but at the same time, intrigued; this was around the time Chloe gets her own... ah shit I gotta go into that too--

--yet another hc of mine is that Chloe gets a Squip on accident around this time at a party (there was one in a “”candy bowl””), and from there, she claws her way up the ladder. I... will not go into that much, but her Squip was crippled by the drugs and alcohol in her system, and therefore largely at her mercy. She’s used his power to manipulate certain things about herself and to sharpen her focus on popularity to the point she’s full-blown Alpha Bitch.

Man, I’ve had to go on so many tangents, I apologize.

Anyway, she drags Jeremy around as a punching bag. She constantly mocks Jeremy's transness, even though she usually calls him by his correct name and pronouns.

This has made the rest of the school follow her lead, hence why I said “boy-ish”; he’s popular, he’s technically ‘well liked’, but nobody really takes him seriously. This is compounded by Chloe’s refusal to let him dress in 'dorky' casual clothes, and, as he’s both too poor to afford designer clothes and also generally hates popular guy fashion, he has to wear the hyper femme clothing Chloe specifically tells him too/

As such, people call him a boy but largely see him as either an idiot, a slut, an attention seeker, or all of the above.

So of course, in Brooke's place, his neurodivergence is more prominent than ever; every day he slips further into this psychosis and self-infantilization haze, as his his mom leaving, his dad severely depressed, Chloe's sexual violence, and other repressed trauma (see: my fic hello yesterday on ao3) all weighing on him. This makes him INCREDIBLY regressed, like, all the time by Junior year.

And then Brooke's Squip (IE: canon Squip) falls in love with Jeremy extremely fucking hard. He pushes her to date him as a way to compromise on her queer desires, since Jeremy is technically a boy, and certainly a few other straight-ish girls have hooked up with him in the past.

WHEW. That is a fucking lot. To wrap this up, lemme go over the interpersonal relationships not already mentioned, and what directions I think it takes.

First off, Madeline has a more prominent role, as I quite like her tbh; she’s a sex worker, she has her own Squip, she’s one of Chloe’s most hated enemies, and she gravitates towards both Brooke and Jeremy. She’s also Actually French, Chloe’s just weird.

(Anyway she prolly sees through Brooke’s straight act and asks her why she’s pretending to be a good little cishet. It rattles Brooke.)

Chloe is scum. This bears repeating. She DEFINITELY rapes Brooke at the Halloween party, and becomes obsessed with her, along with already being obsessed with Jeremy and Jake.

Jake, by the way, has a lot of regressive behavior and impulsiveness bc he’s been in an abusive relationship off and on with Chloe for years now.

Speaking of Jake, moving on to his best bro: Rich doesn’t set himself on fire. He’s having a good time with his Squip.

But.

He IS set on fire at the Halloween party.

Instead of the Smartphone Hour being about Rich's instability, it's actually about the mystery of Someone Did It To Him But No One Saw Who It Was, They Were Disguised.

The answer relates to the fact that Rich and Brooke are ALSO hooking up, after she’s already with Jeremy, bc he Properly introduces her to him and the three of them hit it off really well.

(She initially wasn’t interested, but while Rich is loud and still kinda abrasive, his Squip doesn’t drive him to act like a bully--and in private, his nerdiness is really obvious and he’s extremely gentle with her and Jeremy. Add to that that he’s bi and trans*, when Brooke connects best w/ queer men over cishet one, and it off-sets his masc-ness enough to make him an Exception.

* = I always imagine him as trans. See: all of Vanceypants fics.)

Sooo... the culprit is actually Brooke's daddy, who sees her with this obvious heartthrob and Cannot let that be.

Chloe convinces Michael that the Squips are Very Very Bad and has him team up with her to force Brooke into drinking Red, with the intention to convince him to kill himself after to get him out of the way, bc she’s really going nuts at this point.

Eventually, he snaps out of it when he and Christine get together (he’s thought he was Full Homo all of his life, but Christine’s prolly genderqueer-ness makes him realize “oh shit, I’m bisexual”) and she starts to question why he’s acting the way he is towards Christine.

He also definitely has a crush on Jeremy and during his time with Chloe he kinda tried to flirt a little but couldn’t really... he’s not up for dating someone as sexually active and a push-over as Jeremy is in this.

However, when he snaps out of Chloe’s manipulation, he and Christine approach Mr. Heere to convince him to straighten up and help Jeremy and also bc they really need an adult to successfully fight Chloe.

This requires a month+ of Christine getting him to see her psychiatrist (the one who prescribes her ADHD meds). Jeremy spends the majority of his time staying with Chloe, and very rarely comes home to gather things or to make sure his dad is eating/still alive, as much as he can remember to in his own haze of mental illness. Anyway, point is, he doesn’t know Christine and Michael are there often... not that, in the course of growing close to Mr. H, they both fall for him hard and it becomes one of my stranger OT3s.

(God, Jeremy goes through a lot of shit in this, tho.)

Pre-Squip, Jenna was kinda-sorta Brooke’s friend--or, well, friendly. However, she’s actually full blown “oh my God she’s wonderful” in love with Brooke.

Brooke isn't aware of that, esp since Jenna tries her not to be around her a lot. She's also trying to hide her own queerness, bc she’s a trans woman and she knows Chloe finding that out would be extremely dangerous.

Eventually, Chloe succeeds in making Brooke take the Red months after canon usually ends, w/o Michael’s help. If you’re curious, Red doesn’t affect her normal Squip bc she’s had him too long and a lot of his receptors and stuff are damaged, so it’s the second one she gets in canon that turns off.

This plan backfires, however, as Brooke’s Squip comes back with a physical body w/ help from Rich and also-bodied-now Moses.

With a body, and shenanigans, Mo and Squip take out Brooke’s daddy too. His life insurance more than makes up for the loss of his income, as it’s a sizable amount. Now that Brooke feels more empowered and strong, she overrides her mother’s neglectfulness and takes control of the household w/ her boyfriends*, comes out as queer, helps her sister transition, and begin to heal from all of this trauma.

(* = Rich and Mo move in, as does Jeremy eventually, after graduation; Jeremy gets a psychiatrist and a therapist and prolly has to go through some intense outpatient care and possibly a stay in the hospital, before finally making major breakthroughs and looking like himself again. The five of them are now happy and in love.)

Chloe, after her arm gets twisted by the Squip’s protective presence so thoroughly, gives up on Jeremy and Brooke to focus on Jake. This too gets abandoned when Rich and Mo help him cut her off, and so she stays in her own popularity bubble, bitter, until graduating and going to a community college in a different state.

All in all, things work out well in the end, but getting there is a long, difficult process. This AU fascinates me immensely and feels like a great way to examine some of my really dark headcanons about MB, as I think it’s a town similar to Derry in Stephen King’s IT--as in, just chronically The Worst Place Ever, with this, like, miasma of low-key despair around it. People adjust and don’t question it, which is why so much of BMC is this flippant dark humor in the face of some highly questionable shit.

I’m so sorry this post is so long (I’ll be uploading it to AU under my usual Sedusa account, as metas like this are more than allowed), but I really adore these characters and the way they can be twisted around, so I had a lot to say!

Thank you for reading <3

-mod Seb

image description: virtual-like stairs pointed forward and bathed in neon yellow and blue to represent Brook and Jeremy, which I’ve modified from the original blue-only design.

source: x (link description: a free Wallpaper Flare image that I found off Google Image’s “filtered by ‘labeled and reuse with modification” feature)

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jul-iet · 4 years ago

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Favourite city you’ve been in? Athens

Favourite band(s)? Thinking about it, I overwhelmingly listen to singers rather than bands. Assuming that the distinction matters, a few bands: Sigur Rós, Phosphorescent, Mazzy Star

Five passions you have? International travel, walking long distances (walking as a mode of transportation), getting to a feeling of flow when painting (which can be hard for me), writing (self reflection or on ideas that interest me, making connections between other pieces of writing), reading when I love the book, self-reflection when it leads to understanding, my favourite music and shows (immersive, emotional), DANCING. Five too few :)

Ideal career? Lately I’ve been thinking editing… I think it’s always been in the cards that I’d do something related to writing, however broadly

Morning or night person? Night person by habit, but I feel best when I have more morning.

Favourite hobby? Reading & lately guitar has been really fun. But honestly-- often I like being on my phone when I’m watching YT or editing photos (calming)

A movie you can watch over and over without getting tired of? I don’t love rewatching movies… there’s a handful of TV shows I always go back to: Buffy, Roswell, Dawson’s Creek, Sex and the City.

Something you’re proud of? My ability to teach myself: painting, sketching, basic chords

Something you regret? Moments where I was in survival mode, and later realized I didn’t have to be. Not feeling safe enough to express myself at times

Favourite song(s)? A currently pretty comprehensive list:

Song For Zula (Phosphorescent)

Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd)

Knees (Ocean Alley)

In Spite of All the Damage (The Be Good Tanyas)

People, I’ve Been Sad (Christine & the Queens)-- my top song of 2020 :) ;P

this is me trying (Taylor Swift) —4th B)

Take it to the Limit (The Eagles)

High (Miley Cyrus)

Waterloo (Cher’s version)

I Want You to Want Me (the Children of Paradise version)

Your Best American Girl (Mitski)

The Borders (Sam Fender)

Shrike (Hozier)

could cry just thinkin about you (Troye Sivan)

Favourite song lyrics? Couldn’t say of all time! But what comes to mind: “I want to do right, but not right now” (Look at Miss Ohio, Gillian Welch)

Thoughts on musicals? General disinterest

Do you like to read? So much!

Books or movies? Books; I watch movies on occasion, only

Favourite bird? Maybe cormorants? I think it’s amazing they can move through air, water, and land

Favourite animal? Wild horses

Favourite thing to learn about? I think systems, things that link together: so social systems that recreate themselves, meta spirituality ;P

If you were to make a movie, with you as one of the characters, what genre would you want it to be? Drama hahhahahaha

Do you procrastinate often? For sure. Maybe less so, now

Funniest word?

If you could understand and talk to your pet, what is the first thing you would tell them? I’m here for you!

What’s a funny memory you have? Recently: accidentally knocking a smoothie straw out of my friend’s mouth when I saw a boy we knew walking by

How loyal are you? It’s not a character trait I really define myself by, but I know I’m very loyal

Last show you watched? Dawson’s Creek

Last movie you watched? Before Sunrise

Last book you read? Educated by Tara Westover

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imaginesforyourfandom · 6 years ago

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Not a Baby! - USWNT Imagine

(Y/N) POV:

I woke up looking over to the other bed and seeing JJ still asleep. It was about five minutes before I was supposed to get up. I laid there thinking about the last year of my life. I signed with Orlando and had also gotten a call up to the national team. All at the young age of 19. I played in college for about a year before deciding that I wanted to go pro or as the rest of the team calls it. I pulled a Mal Pugh. I just wasn’t happy with playing in college. I liked the speed of playing pro and I even got a call up for how good I was.

I was happy playing in Orlando with Alex and the other girls. I felt at home there. It also doesn’t hurt to play with all the internationals like Marta and Alanna. 13-year-old me is out there screaming somewhere at the fact that I get to play with Marta. Playing with Alex has been huge for me as well. We connect really well on the field which probably helped me get the call up in the first place. I am not naïve to that fact.

I turned my head when the alarm went off and reached to turn it off. I stood up stretching out my arms out and stretching my back and legs.

“Julie” I tried waking the blonde who only groaned in response. “Come on. I don’t want us to be late for breakfast”

“You use the bathroom first anyways. Wake me when you come out.”

“Jokes on you. I’m already out” I joked as I headed for the bathroom. I heard JJ yell cute at me as I entered the bathroom.

I have gotten really close to a lot of the girls on the team. At first, it was only really Alex and Ash that I was close to due to playing together for club, but I made quick friends with a lot of the other girls on the team. Most of them refer to me as the baby due to being younger than the rest of them, even though I am only like two years younger than Mal. It was super cute at first, but now it is annoying. Instead of being teammates, its more like I have a ton of moms who hover over my every move.

After taking a quick shower and changing into some comfortable clothes, I came out of the bathroom and picked up a pillow slamming it down on JJ.

“No” she groaned reaching for the pillow and then ultimately hitting me with one of her pillows. I chuckled at her actions.

“JJ come on. I don’t want to be late” she let out a huff and sat up glaring at me.

“I kind of want to punch you right now”

“Punch me and I’ll tell Becky” she rolled her eyes at me and stood moving towards the bathroom.

“I thought you said it was annoying that they baby you”

“It is, but it comes in handy sometimes” I heard her let out a laugh.

I picked up my phone and started scrolling through twitter liking some of the tweets. I had mostly NWSL related content on my timeline. Orlando is supposed to play Portland in two weeks and it is going to be one of the biggest games I have played in. I know how good they are, but I know how good we can be. I think we will win. Alex, Marta and I are connecting too good right now for us not to win. I liked a few more tweets about my player of the month nomination before locking my phone. I waited for what felt like hours before JJ came out the bathroom.

“You didn’t have to wait for me” she said smiling at me as she finished brushing her hair.

“Yes, I did. The last time I walked to breakfast by myself they all threw a fit” I said as I slipped on some shoes and walked out of the room with Julie.

“Oh I remember that” she laughed putting one hand on my shoulder “They were all worried you were going to get mugged between here and downstairs.

I rolled my eyes at her amusement and shrugged her hand off my shoulder. We entered the elevator and pressed the button to head downstairs.

“It really wasn’t that funny” I said crossing my arms in irritation. The midfielder laughed more at my irritation. When the doors opened, I stepped out and headed towards where the rest of the team was. As soon as I entered the room, I was engulfed in a hug by my Orlando teammate.

“How did you sleep little one?” Ash asked while having me wrapped in her arms. JJ continued walking moving to talk to crystal.

“Good” I said as Ash tightened her grip on me. “Ash I can’t breathe”

“Jesus let her go before you kill her” Kelley said moving to push Ashlyn away from me. The goalkeeper released me just as another arm was thrown around me. I turned to see Tobin standing there and guiding me towards the table where she placed me between Christen and Becky. A plate of food was put in front of me by Christen who gave me a smile.

“This is all unnecessary” I said feeling overwhelmed at having everything done for me. “I mean I could have found my own spot and made my own plate. I am 19 not 5”

“We are just being nice (Y/N). Take the help” Christen said taking a bit of her own food. I rolled my eyes before eating my food. They seemed to get everything I usually eat.

“Are you excited to play today?” Becky asked me. I let a grin spread over my face.

“Yeah I can’t believe I get to start” I said honestly. I wasn’t expecting to get the start and Jill made it very clear that she expects a lot from me. Most of the team tried to argue that she shouldn’t place a lot of pressure on me because they don’t want me to be stressed, but I know I can handle it. “I can’t wait to prove myself”

“We already believe in you” Alex said from across the table. I smiled at her and she shot me a little wink. I was by far the closest to her considering we play similar positions and on the same club team. “Or atleast I believe in you”

“That makes me feel so much better” I said sarcastically shooting the forward a smile. She shook her head as all the others started saying they also believed in me. I rolled my eyes. “Guys. Thanks I appreciate it”

“You got this!” Kelley said giving me a thumbs up “Even if you do get nervous, we are out there with you. We got your back”

I smiled but felt nervousness settle in. I loved how supportive they were, but I didn’t like the pressure that it put on me. I can handle it don’t get me wrong, but the idea of disappointing any of them made my heart hurt.

-Skip to Game-

The game was getting ready to start. I was walking with Alex towards the field after doing the anthems and shaking the other team’s hands. Jill gave a whole speech about how much of a threat Canada was going to be and how important the game was. She kept looking at me which only increased my nerves. Everyone kept giving me supportive looks and I think I got hugs from everyone on the team and about five different supportive speeches from the girls.

“Hey” Alex said giving me a concerned look. “This is no different than if we were playing for Orlando”

“Yeah it’s only first place in World Cup qualifying tournament game” I joked running my fingers through my hair. “I’m fine. I promise”

She smiled at me giving me a quick hug before getting into position. The whistle blew and the game had started. For the first few minutes, it was a lot of figuring out the pace of the game and what the other team had planned strategically. There were a few close calls from both sides with both teams having good looks on goal. In the 27th minute, I got the ball and ran upfield getting past one of their defenders. I slotted the ball up to Alex who was able to finish it with ease. The forward grinned and ran jumping into my arms.

“That was an amazing ball” she exclaimed hugging me tightly. The rest of the team joined the hug all of them patting Alex on the head.

“An even better finish” I said grinning at the forward. She smiled as I sat her on the ground, and we walked back to midfield.

The first half finished with Christine Sinclair getting an equalizer in 42nd minute. So, not exactly how we wanted it to go. I sat in my seat drinking some water and listening to Jill give us instructions for the second half.

“(Y/N) don’t be afraid to go in on goal” she said looking at me. I must have had a deer in headlights look because she gave me a small smile as Kelley gave me a supportive shoulder squeeze. I nodded my head at her instructions before looking down and thinking about what I could do to change my game so we could score.

“You’re playing great” I looked up at Becky who smiled at me. “You’re doing good”

“Thanks” I said standing up and walking with her towards the tunnel. We all started discussing tactics as we made our way out of the tunnel to the field to start the second half.

Once the whistle blew to start the second half, I knew the air felt different. It felt more urgent that it had before as our passes and the overall play seemed to move faster. It worked in my favor because that was the kind of play I thrived on.

In the 67th minute, Alex received an incredible ball from Tobin after a Canada corner. She slotted it up to me as I ran on it. I ran towards the goal with two of Canada’s defenders running after me. I got in the box and chipped the shot over Labbe who went to ground. The ball sailed over her head and out of reach right into the back of the net. I ran throwing my arms in the air towards the sideline. I grinned turning just in time to catch a jumping Alex Morgan. Her body crashed into mine as the rest of the team collided with us.

“That was amazing!!” Kelley yelled giving me a huge smile.

“You did so good” Alex said taking my face in her hands as I was getting head pats from all the others.

“It was an amazing ball” I grinned

“Even better finish” she said letting go of me as we headed back to midfield. I smiled at the crowd throwing up a heart. I heard the echoes of my name around the stadium and took a moment to take it in. The game soon continued, and Canada started being more physical than before wanting the win. I understood their urgency but there was no way we would let them come back.

Things took a turn for the worse in the 86th minute, when two of their players crashed into me as soon as I received the ball from Christen. The foul happened next to our bench and I could already hear the protests from my teammates as I hit the ground. I felt a searing pain in my leg and side. I could faintly feel pain on my face and the wetness from blood indicating that my eyebrow had split open.

“Relax little one” Tobin said putting her hand on my shoulder to stop me from moving. My eyes were shut tight as I tried to keep it together from the pain.

“(Y/N)!” Christen said moving to my other side and rubbing circles on my back. I was close enough to the bench that the rest of my teammates had gotten as close as they could without being on the field. I turned my body towards the bench and heard a couple of gasps from my teammates.

“Move” one of the medical staff said to Tobin and Christen as he and his assistant started tending to me. I felt soft hands hold my face to stop me from moving and the staff tending to my eyebrow. I whimpered when one of them moved my leg to see how bad it was.

“Shhh It’s okay” Alex said rubbing circles on my cheek “Let them do their job”

“It’s okay Little one” Kelley said from next to her. “They’re fixing you”

“You’re done for today” one of them said as they lifted me up and placed me on my feet. They didn’t have the chance to help me walk off the field because Alex took me with Ash coming on the other side to help carry me to the sideline. I sat on the bench trying to fight back tears as the disappointment of being subbed out and the pain from my injuries set in.

Ash wrapped an arm around me letting me rest my head on her shoulder. Alex had taken my other side and taken my hand in hers gently rubbing circles to soothe me. The medical staff had finished cleaning my eyebrow and placed a bandage on it but had determined it was too bad for me to continue.

When the game was finished, we had won but I didn’t feel like celebrating. After doing all the things that were required of me to do, I headed for the locker room just trying to gather my stuff so that I could leave. I was standing by my stuff putting things away. I felt arms wrap around my shoulders and a face press into my back. To my complete surprise, it was Carli who was giving me comfort.

“I know you’re disappointed, but you had one hell of a game and we couldn’t have own without you.” She said giving me a small smile. I nodded my head and then turned back to putting my things away.

Everyone continued trying to comfort me and I started getting more and more annoyed. Finally, it was when they all attempted trying to carry me to the bus that I lost my cool.

“Enough!” I snapped causing them all to stop and stare at me. “I get it you’re trying to be nice, but I’m not a baby. I can do things myself. I can handle disappointment myself. I am grown adult. You are not my mothers and there is no need to keep treating me like a child”

I didn’t wait for reactions or responses as I headed for the bus. I climbed it and went all the way to the back and sat down by myself. I put my headphones on and pulled my hoodie up to indicate that I wasn’t in a talking mood. Despite all my repellents that I put in place, I still felt someone sit next to me. I groaned and turned my head slightly preparing for whoever tried to talk when I saw Alex. She wasn’t looking at me nor did she say anything. She had headphones on and was looking at her phone. I knew exactly what she was doing, and still couldn’t help but feel tears stinging my eyes. I leaned my head onto her shoulder and then felt her rest her head on mine.

The bus ride and walk back to my room was silent. I had to go see the medical staff for a few hours to determine if I had any major injuries. Once it was determined that I didn’t, I could leave. I headed back to my room that I shared with JJ and walked in to see everyone sitting there. I groaned prepared for more coddling when Christen held up a hand.

“We just wanted to say we are sorry.” She said giving me a sad look. “It was never our intention to make you feel smothered”

“Yeah I think we all got caught up in the excitement of having you hear that we didn’t really stop to consider how the way we treated you would have an effect.” Pinoe said scratching the back of her neck nervously

“You don’t have to apologize” I said leaning against the wall and crossing my arms. “I was out of line”

“You weren’t!” Ash said smiling at me. “We can be overbearing. We care a lot about you. We see the talent in you and we know what you are capable of and we want to help you reach your full potential.”

“We just need to figure out a way to do it without being so protective” Becky said standing up and giving me a hug. I accepted her hug and then turned to the rest of the team.

“To say we are sorry. We are having a movie night. We had bigger plans in place to celebrate your goal and the win and everything, but we realized that maybe you wouldn’t want to do that considering how your game ended” Kelley said excitement coming off of her

“Do I get to pick the movie?”

“Yes” Christen said giving a small nod. I walked towards her pulling her in for a hug which she immediately reciprocated. I immediately realized my mistake in hugging her as everyone immediately stood up wanting hugs. I groaned going down the line of people giving them hugs before it turned into a group hug.

The only one who didn’t attempt to give me a hug we Alyssa, Carli, and Alex. I grinned at Alex before diving for my bed which she was on and pulling her in for a hug.

“My cuddle buddy” I said as she rolled her eyes but ultimately let me settle down next to her. It was then a battle for who was getting to sit on the other side of me which Christen immediately claimed after threatening to tell on everyone for bringing in all sorts of junk food. I allowed myself to get comfortable between the two girls as Kelley and Ash both settled on the bed finding spots to lay in. Everyone else spread around the room as I said I wanted to watch She’s the man.

“Can you pick something else?” one of the girls asked

“No you said I could pick” I said resting my head on Alex’s shoulder.

“We did say that” Tobin said smiling clearly liking my movie choice.

“Okay everyone shut up” Kelley yelled as Pinoe turned the movie on.

“Still a baby” I heard Alex mumble and I immediately moved to protest before realized I was basically being cradled by her and Christen. I groaned slightly and gave the forward a small slap on the arm.

“You win this round Morgan.”

“shhh movie starting” she said as I rolled my eyes, I turned to lay my head on Christen’s shoulder sticking my tongue out at Alex as Christen wrapped into a hug.

I guess I can accept being the bay for one night.

A/N: This is a whole lot longer than I anticipated. Hopefully, you guys liked it!

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mikeshanlon · 6 years ago

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Happy Pride! .... Like... more than halfway through the month lmao sorry, better late than never ig! I’ve compiled a list of some of my fave LGBT+ books, as well as a few I’m planning to read for pride/in the near future. Please feel free to reblog and add some of your own recs, especially for the sexual and gender identities that are lacking in my list!!!!!

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz: This beautiful, wholesome coming of age novel is pretty popular on tumblr and with good reason! It’s set in the 1980′s and follows Aristotle, aka "Ari”, as he grows up an tackles with his identity-- he feels like his story is written by someone else, that his path is not up to his control. Whether this is due to his complex relationship with his family, or societal expectations/stereotypes of Latinx men, or the fact that maybe his friendship with Dante might be more than that, and that kinda terrifies him. (Rep: Gay, Latinx, (I believe this is own voices) Warnings: it’s been a minute since i’ve read this but i believe some racism, internalized homophobia, and an instance of violent transphobia)

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: LGKNLKNGRG okay this is truly one of my favorite books of the year so far and part of the whole reason i wanted to make this. This is a New Adult Contemporary romance set in sort of a like... parallel America where a woman won the presidential election. We follow The First Son, Alex Claremont-Diaz, who’s charming, smart ass, genius icon. Him, his sister June, and their best friend Nora are easily marketable and loved by the public for the most part, but when Alex and his rival Prince Henry of England get into a public spat at a Royal Wedding, Alex and Henry must pretend to be friends to patch up relations and public image for his mother’s re-election campaign. Eventually their fake friendship turns real, and then becomes more as they get to know each other, Alex and Henry begin a secret romance that we follow over the course of the re-election year. This book is fucking HILARIOUS (like I have so many tabs for funny moments and i was trying to be restrained), but it’s just so. Like full of love and hope and it’s so beautiful???? It’s definitely political escapism from our current situation in America but still deals with current issues such as racism and homopboia, etc, but gives the reader hope for future progress. Alex and Henry’s relationship is so fun, and sexy, and beautiful and the friendships are so iconic and Alex’s journey with sexuality is... chefs kiss. Also like. Casey McQuiston mentioned that she listened to Texas Reznikoff by Mitski a lot while writing this in the acknowledgments so. what more do you need... (Rep: Bisexual (Own Voices), Gay, Biracial-- Mexican/White (Own Voices), Warnings: Racism, homophobia, mentions of a past sexual harrassment/assault. Since this is a New Adult, there are smut scenes. I wouldn’t say it’s like. Super explicit or anything but there is sex, though it’s often during Important Moments of their relationships so it doesn’t feel like p*rn-- again the sex is happening but its not in hella explicit detail or anything or for the same goal as say an erotica. P much proceed with caution if it’s not ur thing but it’s not too wild!)

Blanca y Roja by Anna-Marie McLemore: This is sort of a Snow White/Rose Red and Ugly Duckling retelling following two sisters, Blanca and Roja, who’s family curse destines that one of the sisters will be trapped into a swan’s body, never to be seen again. (So this is magical realism lmao). We also follow two boys, Page and Yearling, who were wrapped up in the magic of the nearby woods, but have returned to society. Page is a gender queer trans male, and his whole arc that was so beautiful and made me cry, but in a good way (also warning that I’m cis so like. I would love to hear what gender queer trans individuals think about the rep in this book bc I cannot really attest to it.) This book is really about sisterly love and love in general, with all the complexities that come with it. (also wlw grandma’s who grow apple’s it’s p iconic) (Rep: Latinx-- colorism plays a huge role in the story as well (Own Voices), Gender Queer Trans, Queer (Own Voices) Warnings: Some transphobia, racism, and abuse). (I believe most of Anna-Marie McLemore’s books are magical realism and have some Latinx and queer elements to them as well)

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller: god..... This (gay ass) novelization of The Illiad is just so tragically romantic and beautiful... We follow Achilles and Patroclus as they grow up and grow closer, and eventually fight the Trojan War. There are so many beautiful quotes and scenes but like. You will most likely cry so keep that in mind eklrgerg. (Rep: Gay Warnings: Violence, there’s like..... a weird r*pe/homophobic scene)

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan: YA Fantasy set in a world where there are three castes: Moon-- the highest caste, demons with animalistic features in a humanoid form, Steel-- humans with part demon physical features and abilities, and Paper-- fully human, the lowest caste. We follow our protaganist Lei, who despite being a Paper caste, has beautiful golden glowing eyes that end up garnering attention from the Demon King. She’s stolen from her home and forced to join The Paper Girls-- a group of paper caste concubines in training at the palace. As she tries to find a way to escape, she ends up falling for one of the other paper girls, Wren, who might be just the key to freedom. I love Lei and Wren’s relationship and I’m excited to see it play out in the sequel! (which i believe ngan said will introduce more LGBT characters) (Rep: Asian (Own Voices), WLW (I believe this is Own Voices as well). Warnings: As their role as concubines suggest, a large part of this book revolves around the patriarchy using women for power and sexual assualt/rape. There are no explicit rape scenes-- though they do occur ‘off screen’, however there are a couple attempted sexual assault scenes that I believe could be p triggering. This book is also largely about the Paper Girls taking back their power, and I don’t believe these scenes are done for shock value, however please proceed with caution. Subsequently, sexist and patriarchial views are present within the authority, though shunned by Lei, however there’s a lot of internalized sexism and objectification among some of the other Paper Girls.)

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell: I probably don’t have to talk about this one much since it’s super popular, but in what is like essentially Harry Potter but like gay and wholesome, we follow Simon Snow, the Chosen One who’s actually not that good at magic, his best friend Penelope, and his roommate and arch nemesis that’s totally a vampire but won’t admit it, Baz. (Except Baz is, like, totally in love with Simon and Simon’s just too dumb and wrapped up in his own shit to realize it). Truly just,... an iconic enemies to friends to lovers story that unfolds as the three of them try to uncover a mystery surrounding Baz’s late mother. Ik some people have found it confusing bc it’s sort of like starting the Harry Potter story off at book 7 and only getting some background info along the way but honestly I really enjoyed that lmao. Also there’s a sequel coming out this fall, Wayward Son. (Rep: Gay, Some POC rep. Warnings: not rlly any i dont think??? There’s like. some Homophobia lmao bc we can’t have a gay book without it.)

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins: This is a cute YA contemporary following Millie Quint who, post being cheated on by her best friend and wanting to have a fresh start, flies to Scotland to finish off her senior year at her Dream prestigous boarding school, joining a handful of other girls as the first female class in the institution’s history. Plus like. Cool Rocks and Scotland. Only problem is that her roomate is sort of a bitch and also the Princess of Scotland who she totally just told off. So yeah yet another royal gay enemies to friends to lovers with a dash of and they were roomates LMAO. This book could be like.... a bit cheesy and rushed but overall it was cute and like...... The Cover.... (Rep: Bisexual, Lesbian, Warnings: Some homophobia. Also this is a companion novel to Prince Charming but you don’t have to read that first, there’s just some references to the couple in that book as the Prince is well.... The Princess’ brother and where they end up so if you don’t wanna be spoiled read that first ig!)

The Devouring Gray by Christine Lynn Herman: I talked about this some in this post, but I feel like I did kinda a shitty job so. A YA fantasy/paranormal series about the descendant’s of the town’s four founding families-- Violet Saunders, Justin Hawthorne, Harper Carlisle, and Isaac Sullivan (the most iconic one). The latter three have lived in Four Paths their whole lives, protecting the town from The Gray-- p much the Upside Down from Stranger Things lmao, using powers specific to each of their families. Violet and her mother move back after Violet’s sister died in a car accident, and she’s thrust into helping save the town as the Gray grows more restless and having to uncover the secrets of her family as well as all the history brewing between the other three. The Stranger Things and Riverdale comparisons are p valid, (but like. Riverdale in the sense of small town secrets and a bunch of tense history that the kids don’t really understand and must uncover, and some like love triangle but..... not Rlly Love triangles just a mess of ppl being like oh shit i like this person and this person.... Bisexual Chaos if u will... not like. The I’m cuckoo bananas for u let’s go get high and play dungeons and dragons and smash in a bunker LRGKJRLKGJ), the Raven Cycle comparison’s are kind of a stretch, I can see the abstract comparison’s if i squint but like. Don’t go into this expecting TRC lmao. I really enjoyed the theme of grief throughout this book and seeing the powers unfold (and one of the dynamics a lot) and while not perfect the series has a lot of potential and like. Bisexuals. So. (Rep: Bisexual (two mc’s are bi and say the word!!!!!!!! As well as some secondary characters), Disabled (one of the mc’s is missing one arm from the elbow down). Warnings: Grief, Violence)

The Gentlemen’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee: Also talked about this in this post and did a better job there, but to sum it up it’s essentially a friends to lovers, bed sharing, road trip au with a dash of magic but set in the 1700′s! There’s also a sequel/companion, The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy that I have yet to read but it follows Monty’s sister, Felicity, and I believe goes more in depth with her identity. (Rep: Gay, Black, Disabled, Aromantic, Asexual, Warnings: Period typical homophobia/biphobia, racism, ableism, sexism)

Simon vs. The Homosapien’s Agenda by Becky Albertalli: Like. I don’t think i really have to explain this one LRKGJJRG but added it just in case. YA contemporary following Simon as he e-mails another gay student at his school and falls in love. (Rep: Gay, Black, Jewish, Warnings: Homophobia)

All For the Game Trilogy (The Foxhole Court, The Raven King, The King’s Men) by Nora Sakavic: If y’all have been on my blog at all you know i’m back in aftg hyperfixation mode after another reread lmao. Is it a lil messy is it a lil dramatic... yes. but i love it!!! We follow our protagonist Neil Josten, who’s been on the run from his crime lord father, The Butcher of Baltimore, since he was young. After his mother dies on the run, Neil finds a new place and adopts yet another identity, and ends up playing high school exy (a made up sport but like we’re barely here for the sports lmao), something he used to play as a child. Despite playing a new position, he attracts the attention of the PSU Foxes, who’s coach David Wymack specifically recruits players with a troubled past to give them a second chance. Neil really shouldn’t sign-- it goes against everything his mother told him, it puts him at risk of being in the spotlight for his father’s men to find him, and puts him on the same team as Kevin Day, someone from his past that knows his true identity. Still, something draws Neil to joining the team, to finally try to live instead of just survive. UGHHHH like truly this book just makes u fall in love with all the characters and the beautiful and broken found family that develops over three books and one of the most iconic and amazing (ha....) slowburn relationships ever.... Also if i recall they’re super cheap on iBooks (at least when i bought them, the first book was free and the other two were $1.99). (Rep: Gay, Demisexual, POC, Warnings: MAJOR trigger warnings for like. everything bc all the foxes have fucked up pasts. But the biggest ones are probably rape, abuse/torture, and substance abuse)

Six of Crows Duology (Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom) by Leigh Bardugo: Idk how much I really have to talk about this bc it’s popular but I am physically unably not to reccomend this duology bc its just. So. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. The most barebones summary is that this is a YA Fantasy about six people coming together to perform an impossible heist. This is truly like...... a masterclass in developing characters and has one of the best m/f ships i’ve ever read... But also since it’s on here there is some gay shit going on, 3/6 mains are Not Straight and there’s a cute m/m couple! Also you don’t have to read the Grisha Trilogy to read this but u can if u want (I have yet to). (Rep: Bisexual, Gay, Disabled, POC, Warnings: Again these ppl have fucked up pasts, biggest are PTSD, past sexual abuse)

The Raven Cycle Series (The Raven Boys, The Dream Theives, Blue Lily Lily Blue, The Raven King) by Maggie Steifvater: Again i don’t think I really have to explain this one but like. In case you haven’t read this series it’s truly iconic..... Idk even how to explain this LKGJLJRG just like magical realism wonderfulness and found family and amazing relationships and shit.... (Rep: Gay, Bisexual, Disabled, Warnings: Abuse)

The following are books I plan to read for pride/in the near future. I can’t wholeheartedly reccomend them obviously, or fully detail all the rep/warnings, but I’ve heard some great things about these books and a lot of them have representation that the first part of the list is lacking, so I figured I would add them! (Also if I use ‘queer’ that’s because that’s the only label I have been given by the authors or reviewers, or the characters identify as queer)

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman: To my knowledge this is a really emotional YA coming of age/college story that has to do with like. A podcast? Idk a lot of people love it and side note I’ll be suing B&N bc they NEVER have it relkj (Rep: Bisexual, Demisexual, I belive Latinx.)

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand: I believe this is a YA horror-ish novel where there’s a monster stealing girls on and island. (Rep: I believe all three main girls are queer Warnings: Since this is horror im assuming. Horror stuff LMAO)

I Wish You all The Best by Mason Deaver: A YA contemporary romance about Ben who comes out as non-binary to their parents and gets kicked out, and moves in with their estranged sister. They soon are taken under the wing of a senior named Nathan Allan and begin to fall. (Rep: Non-Binary (Own Voices), MLM/Queer, Black (im assuming from the gorgeous cover lmao. Warnings: Misgendering, homophobia, anxiety, depression)

Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno: YA Magical Realism about Georgina, who has yet to inherit the magical powers that have been passed down her family, including her twin sister Mary who, unlike Georgina, is coming into her powers. (Rep: Lesbian, Queer, Aro/Ace, Warnings: Rape and sexual assault, underage drinking, animal death, drug use.)

#books #lgbt #pride #lgbt books #idk what else to tag lmao pls feel free to add ur own yall!!! or correct anything i got wrong lmao

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venusandluc · 5 years ago

Text

The face of an angel :Chapter 4-

a warning he does get to see her undergarments but back then undergarments were basically shorts and a tank top so like I think you all be fine- plus they don't do anything so like... Meh

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There, he said it. And he immediately felt stupid. She saved him, of course, she was fine... But he couldn't be sure without her saying so. He feared, even if he thought it absurd, that if he left without asking, something bad might happen. And for once he wasn't a fan of that forecasting.

She didn't turn to face him. Her body tensed. He could see that. A state of shock hitting her. Did he know? She knew it was possible, but she hoped that he didn't know. The angel's body now completely shivering. The bitter cold entering her bones again. Her legs almost buckled under her gown, but she stood tall. " Why do you ask?" she needed to know why he asked. The angel wanted to know if they were on the same page. What did he remember!? Oh, my lord! Please don't let this man know!

" your shaking" the Phantom lifted a brow, not that she could see that. " it's none of my business, I rather not accuse another-" he stopped himself, walking towards her and away from the door making his way over to the small flower. "So. Are you going tell Erik~" a smirk laid on his face as his velvet-like voice left his lips- towering over her.

her doll eyes didn't dare to meet his gaze. " I don't have anything to tell Erik." she started, trying to forget about the discomfort her legs. "I'm fine." this was said in a cold tone as if she was telling him to leave. The tone was as frigid. As frozen as her legs. She was far from fine.

" Erik doesn't appreciate your lies-" hid voice hissed, "plus, I won't depart till you tell me." with those words he leaned down so that was face to face. Blowing the hair out of her face, before laughing as she turned away from him. " giving me the cold shoulder? How rude." the demon snickered, " what's with the chilly attitude?" a big smirk on his face as he said such things, he was teasing her.

The nuns cold blue eyes suddenly looked into the sockets that Erik called his eyes. She looked as she wasn't going turn down but there was some unease in her eyes. Sue knew this man could easily overpower her. But she didn't speak, placing her fingers on the brim of her mouth pretending to lock them, and flick the key in demons face.

The phantom could only groan and take a step away in reaction.

" you are just an arrogate little brat aren't you?" He frowned and turned from her, "well then," he headed for the door, as his tongue clicked to the top of his mouth. " we aren't alone in here, I'll just go to some other nun, tongued or

Untongued, and tell her! Then we will both be but that seems to be what you want!"

The nun's eyes widened in fear, was he treating her?! How dare he! If he told anyone, the punishment would be harsh. They might even throw her out of the church! They punished her for even speaking, but for sneaking out. As well as bringing a man into her room. That would assume she had relations with this man!

Her hand clasped onto the others arm about to speak, when she collapsed. Falling into Erik's arms, who tried to catch her. The pain in her legs had finally become too much.

" See, Erik is always right." he sighed as he hoisted her up and placed her on the bed. Leaning on the wall next to it. " Warning, Erik has never given first aid to anyone, well, nobody but Erik. Erik absolutely has no idea what he's doing."

that in no way helped, the sister's legs curling up more under her gown. Her face a light pink. Not being able to look in Erik's eyes. "I'm Fine... Please just leave. If you need to go, then just go."

She was stubborn, a stubborn little carnation wasn't she? "Erik, well, I don't need to go." not like he had anywhere to even go, all he ever had was gone, " I like to." However, even if it is a blessing to leave this room, this tension that you could cut with a knife, other things filled his mind. "I would like to assist you."

The nuns face held skepticism, she had always been alone, persay... It was hard for her to take help when handed to her. Plus, this help would include... Him... Beholding her undergarments.

Erik was now closer to the bed. A smug look ok his lips "oh, I would also like to know what to perhaps may have been doing, when- you know, saved me?~" Yes, that was very important as well, even if it caused her face to scrunch and become tense.

"no-" she said in a harsh manner. To both tries from the man. She refuses to talk about the lake or the water, and this help would most likely spiral into a conversation about it.

"Oh, come on, " he sat at the foot of the bed as if he was a dog. " You're very disrespectful. You can't act like this! Someone is offering you help for free! That's not very common outside, you know?" the former opera ghost placing his thin hand by the nun's feet. His spidery hand moving impatiently. " Now, let Erik help you." His hand grabbing the hem of her dress lifting it up so he could take a ponder at her legs.

But instead of seeing her leg, he got a foot abruptly colliding with his face, with such vitality that it would break a man's nose. But Erik didn't have a nose. It still hurt even so. Knocking him over. His boney fingers tracing across his disfigured face. Him letting out a growl. Blood cramming into the bandages that laid on his face. " You insufferable little wench!!!!" he hissed out, as he stood up, swiftly pinning her to the bed.

" I OFFERED you my help and this is how you-" they're- right there in her eyes was fear- no pain. It hurt her as much as it hurt him. Pain shooting through her leg. Even if she was in pain she deserved it for knocking him in the face. He did loosen his grasp on her, he could honestly crush her at any given moment, kill her like all the others. Crack her legs off as she screamed! Or choke her! Immerse her! He could so easily do all these things. But he couldn't. Those thoughts now becoming a nightmare. It was her eyes, her face... he couldn't understand.

He tried to imagine his fingers grasping around her small delicate neck, once again, but nothing came up... Just more repulsion; and stress. It felt horrible! Maybe it was just the guilt talking, he didn't feel it often so it had to be true.

He slowly let go, looking away from her. Letting her sit up. " If you are frightened for my decency - don't worry. I'm not the type to lust over prudent children." Well, that was a lie. But he didn't lust for her. It wasn't lust, it was something entirely different, a want. A desire. Not for her body... It was so confusing.

" I'm not a child," she said swiftly, but she knew deep inside he wouldn't leave her be. She would eventually have to give in. " Fine-" left her lips. If he didn't touch her she would be fine. " But I will be taking off my own gown." the pain becoming too much for her.

Lucien's hands trailed down the dress before undoing the buttons. Dropping the black and white dress on the bed, leaving her only in her white undergarments. She wore white puffy like shorts, with a ruffle going down each 1 inch. And a white corset, like top. With small sleeves on each side. Her white, unnatural face gaining pink, even if it wasn't like the phantom could see anything.

He could see her legs now, they were so smooth and white, like glass. So skinny, so doll-like even. but containing the gray color of frostbite - no blue. No purple. As some blisters started to appear on her legs. Nasty purple little things. Ruining Erik's beautiful little doll.

His fingers traced her legs, brushing her ankle. " Can you feel anything?" he got no response just her jerking her leg away from his touch. His eyes shut as she retreated, his hands still yearning for her cold touch. When he glanced at her, he saw fear in her eyes. He hated that look. He desired... What did he desire?

"Carnation, you don't have to be frightened." the man sighed, and at that moment he knew. "You tended to my wounds, let me do you the favor and do the same."

"I - I don't fear you " those words music to his ears, almost. They could be a lie. For all he knew, they were a lie, wasn't the first time someone lied to him. " I'm just anxious " it made sense for her to be, she was a woman in her undergarments in front of a man she pulled off the street. She wasn't scared of him, she was scared of the sin that she was doing. She has never been touched by a man. Unless you count the priest, but baptism doesn't count.

Her breath hitched a bit, the angels in her head crying out for her to stop, as she placed her leg on the other hand. "its only fair, for me to let you. As I had to get under your clothes... To get to all those dastardly wounds." she cheeks now a pinkish color but still containing her inhuman look.

He nodded and tried to ignore the newfound intimacy they shared. He applies soft pressure to her leg, again asking " can you feel that."

She bit into her lip as he did that, and nodded " yes- I can " she shuddered out, a warm but cold feeling shooting through her legs. Such a puzzling feeling. " Erik." was all she could mutter out as he stroked her legs absentmindedly, at least making them a bit warmer.

They were like ice, so cold, so pure. So different from Christine's. She wasn't as small. Of course, he could break her if he wished to, but why would he ever harm his dear Christine. But, even so, this girl, this one, he seemed to be able to apply such little pressure to her and the glass that made her would cover and the floor.

That when he noticed his wrongdoing, his usual yellow skin turning rosy under the bandages. " I heard body heat helps." he tries to excuse himself.

The angel didn't pull away but instead blessed him with her other lovely leg. "Yes- you are correct." she spoke as her legs relaxed in his hands, god would burn her in hell if he knew. Her giving into her desire, his desire. But she was no whore. Them just sharing a connection, that neither wished to let go of.

This moment lasted a bit longer, both of them not speaking a word enjoying the comforting silence. Her skin usually white, but the former Oprea Ghost could tell when it came to be natural for her. Taking his hands away from her pure skin, a sense of longing filling his fingertips. As if he made a mistake he could not fix. He sighed " feeling better?" breaking the delightful silence that consumed them.

She noticed the feeling gone and quickly nodded her head, lifting herself from the bed in order to get the feeling back, placing herself in the demon's lap. Erik's lips opened to make an argument but she ordered him to hush pressing her head to his chest. Enjoying this feeling.

Maybe she was using him for his body heat, perhaps the devil's ways that the others warned her so much about overtook her. But that didn't seem to matter now, as she pressed her ear to his chest and listened to the soft music of his heartbeat. Lulling her to sleep.

It seemed that their relationship developed quite rapidly under such circumstances... Erik could only embrace her, and rest his chin on the crown of her head. Warming her up some more. She was really tiny, fitting in his arms quite perfectly.

Has he ever braced anyone in this way? No... He didn't believe he had. It was so freeing.

Slowly, his lids begin to fall. Them to heavy, his body way too warm to keep himself awake. The fiend fell asleep, the first time in years feeling so comfortable. His dream's full of angels, music, his darling Christine, and the freezing water. Unknowing that this simple act would change his world, no, their world forever.

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