#homesick au

[eclipse163]

Small bit of Homesick Lore!

After 4 months into the sickness:

🏠: -. --- --..-- / .... . / -.-. .- -. .----. - / .-.. . .- ...- . / .- -. -.-- - .. -- . / ... --- --- -. --..-- / -... ..- - / .... . / .. ... / --. . - - .. -. --. / .- / -... .. - / -... . - - . .-. .-.-.- / .... --- .--. . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- -. -.. . .-. ... - .- -. -.. / .--- ..- .-.. .. . --..--

[queenie-ofthe-void]

A Desperate Fool - Part 10

Part 9

Last time: Eddie and Nancy finish their long conversation on a heavy note

~~~

“Dustin, your phone’s going off,” Eddie shouts, hands shoved into the soapy dish water. He cocks his head around and watches the phone vibrate spasmodically across the table for the third time in twenty minutes. The only sounds filtering through the two-story brownstone are the phone and Dustin’s off-key singing in the upstairs shower. 

He sighs, grabbing the clean dish towel to dry his hands with as he crosses the kitchen to silence the damned thing. Dustin invited Eddie to temporarily move in with him while Suzie was out at Boston teaching a seminar for the semester. It’s been a nice change of pace since the paparazzi found the temporary rental he was staying in.

Eddie’s apology to Dustin had been quite long. Dustin’s swift forgiveness was shorter than Eddie expected. It almost hurt to be forgiven so quickly, but when it became clear it was conditional on never talking about Steve– or even Robin– Eddie couldn’t argue. It’s a fair compromise. Whatever it takes to have an honest to god friend again.

So when Eddie picks up Dustin’s phone, he genuinely considers throwing that friendship out the window. The screen says ‘King Badass’ surrounded by different sportsball emojis, overtop a picture of the two of them leaned up against the classic 1980’s maroon beemer. Steve’s got one arm wrapped tight around Dustin’s neck, a mint chocolate chip cone on the ground at his feet and a strawberry cone in Dustin’s outstretched hand. 

The picture must be relatively new. Eddie’s never seen that navy sweater, or those aviators before. His smile is as wide and gorgeous as he remembers, and Eddie only wishes he could poke his fingers into the picture and pluck the sunglasses off that pretty face to see those golden, hazel eyes look back at him. 

Before he knows what’s happening, before he can stop himself, before he can even think about anything at all, Eddie swipes right and hits the speaker button. He’s silent, frozen, and scared out of his mind as he listens so, so intently to the sounds of Steve breathing on the other end of the line. Knuckles white, Eddie turns the volume up as high as it goes and closes his eyes. The soft breaths wrap around him in the same familiar way an old, oversized sweatshirt does on rainy days.

Then a lot of things happen, very suddenly and very fast.

“Henderson? What the fuck, man– are you going to say anything?” Steve’s voice screams out, causing a tingling in his right ear where he’d had the phone smashed to his head. 

Eddie gasps, involuntary and ragged.

A pause. 

Then, “... Dustin?” Steve asks, knowing full well the person on the other end of the phone is not, in fact, Dustin.

A loud, indignant, ear-screeching squawk from the stairs stops Eddie from responding. Dustin’s standing there, across the room wrapped in a towel and dripping onto the hardwood, glaring at Eddie like he’s a cat with his hand in the cereal bowl. Which, he sort of is.

“I’m sorry.” Eddie’s not sure who he’s talking to when he says it, but he thinks it applies universally in this particular situation.

Dustin shouts, “put it down!” at the same time Eddie hears the faintest whisper through the phone.

“Eddie?”

He’s never heard his name uttered the way Steve breathes it in this moment. It’s a prayer at a funeral. Flowers at a graveyard. The edge of a cliff. A haunted house. It’s everything and it’s too fucking much. 

“Stevie–”

The phone’s snatched away from him as Dustin storms back upstairs, turning it off speaker. 

Heart pounding, ears ringing, head in a fucking fog, he swallows the acid flooding his mouth and moves back to the sink on autopilot, shoving his hands into the hot water to keep from pulling at his hair. Dustin's muffled bickering echoes down the stairs– he thinks he picks out something like won’t let you– but can’t make out the words.

He hums the melody he’s been toying with just to drown out the argument. It hurts in the way everything about Steve hurts, an ache he’s slowly but surely getting used to. 

Almost thirty minutes later, Dustin leaves with a quick ‘be back soon’ shouted over his shoulder, slamming the door behind him before Eddie can respond. He’s not sure where he’s gone to, but it feels obvious in the set of Dustin’s hunched shoulders and the redness in his eyes when he comes home again hours later. When Eddie asks if he’s alright, Dustin says he’s fine. 

They don’t talk about the phone call.

~~~

Part 11

Tag List!!!

@sadisticaltarts @5ammi90 @blacklegsanji21 @jaytriesstrangerthings @thewickedkat

@stripey82

[corrupted-tale]

Made a new fic! Really excited for y'all to see where it goes!

Have you ever wanted to see those silly little daycare jesters get thrown into the real world reverse isekai style? Well now you can!!!

[the-doodle-cave]

Introduction!

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Hello!

This is Bee speaking!

Creator of the Wanderer, HomeSick Dreamscape and Aurora AU!

[APPLE SLEEP EXPERIMENT! AU IN THE MAKING]

Welcome to my page!

Underneath you will find:

links to all my socials etc...

my boundaries

my WH content masterlist

Enjoy!

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Links!

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Carrd!

Commissions!

Discord Server!

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Community!

I now have a community! [1/500]

ask me to get in! :)

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Boundaries!

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☆°• * I go by he/they pronouns although I'd appreciate if you switched them out from time to time instead of using one or the other set of pronouns constantly for me, thank you!

☆°• * I don't mind being called nicknames like "hun" or "dear" it doesn't really matter to me in fact I find it pretty funny and endearing, but please don't give me weird arse ones, and if it makes me uncomfortable I'll tell you so uh- yeah 👍

☆°• * don't spam ping/@ me, you can do it once or twice if you really want my attention, or if we're mutuals OR if you're crediting me, but otherwise just dont I got other things to do and I'm not here constantly

☆°• * please ask me before you DM me, unless we're friends or mutual I don't know how I feel about getting random dms about people, I'll get weirded out and either ghost or block you- this includes friend requests on all platforms as well

☆°• * Please don't tease or clash or jokingly insult me when idk you yet very well, I let very few people do that because I tend to overreact or take things too seriously, and get hurt, so please refrain from doing that

☆°• * you can ABSOLUTELY draw fanart of me! I'm talking about my persona not my AUs and ocs here, and in this case I absolutely do not allow you to draw NSFW of me, watch it.

☆°• * if I don't answer your asks that means I'm busy, I'll answer it when I can, and I might not answer your question if it makes me uncomfortable.

☆°• Please do NOT repost my art without my permission, I do not want people to take my art, even with credit, I might let you, IF YOU ASK first.

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☆°• * about my AUs:

* I don't mind you drawing spicy stuff of it, but for NSFW stuff, don't send it to me in public, and warn me please, you can send it to me in dms and in private, BUT NOT PUBLICLY, you may draw my AUs under the NSFW tag Clown created but don't tag my main account (as in, to credit me online, when you post nsfw stuff of my AUs, put a bar in between my name and the @ like this -> @/thedoodlecave

otherwise minors may find your nsfw post by searching my account up)

Also, avoid using their actual names, minors could also search those names up and see what they shouldn't...you can use emogis like:

Aurora: 🌌🍎

Dreamscape: ☁️🍎

HomeSick: 🥩🖤🍎

Wanderer: 🌀🖤🍎

AppleSleep: 💊🍎

Thank you.

* you can ship yourself or your ocs with them, idm :>

* I do not condone acts/drawings/topics that are problematic/proshipping, such as:

r@p3 - 1nc3st - minorxadult - etc...

Do NOT. draw my AUs in such ways, I don't want ANY OF THAT associated with me or my work, thank you.

* do not make c.ai bots of any of them, on ANY bot platforms, this could be poe.ai, janitor, chai, etc...

It makes me really freaking uncomfortable.

I already made c.ai ones for HomeSick + Hunter, Dreamscape and Wanderer, to me that should be good enough.

* DO NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. DRAW WALLYCEST/APPLECEST/WALLY X WALLY STUFF WITH THEM, THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE AND I WILL BLOCK YOU IF YOU DO. thank you.

Welcome Home related posts!

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• FANARTS:

Birthday special

Asking for kisses

-• Wally AUs Challenge saga

Timekeeper!Wally

Bracken-W!

• OCs:

☆°*•. Daisy Doodlebug

Masterpost reblog

Fake Collab

i-ate-your-dog-sorry's fanart!

Whiteboard doodles

beetlebeeez's drawing request!

Artbloz's fanart!

☆°*•. Lucy Belle

[NO CONTENT]

• AUs:

☆°*•. Wanderer!Wally ~ c.ai ~ his playlist

Old Askblog (no longer active/ended)

[You can find all the Wanderer related posts under the "#wanderer! wally" tag]

Emo

Valentines special

Creator's office break-in

I will protect you

You dumb bastard

Alter Ego meme

Into Gameshow's dimension

Cozy's brother

Who are these Wallys?

Magical girls

jealous?

Finstel's birthday gift! [2nd of june]

Visit the big brother

Halloween Special!

☆°*•. Dreamscape!Wally - AU ~ c.ai ~ his music records

Doodles

Askblog

Flirting attempt

Valentines special

Hope-fire-Wally fanart

Pelted by a rock

Into the Gameshow dimension

Flowers for a Cozy friend variant

DANCE WALLY DANCE

Wishmaker!Sally - AU

Happy birthday! [14th of june]

Everyone adores you ♡

Apple Core's visit/Hope-Fire-Wally's fanart²

Wrong AU! Fanart

meet the og Fanart

Halloween Special!

☆°*•. HomeSick!Wally - AU ~ c.ai [regular form] c.ai [hunting form] ~ his tunes

Doodles

Askblog

Valentines special

Shit-eating grin

Kaybl's fanart request

Drawing Dump

Into the Gameshow dimension

jealous?

Birthday! [30th of august]

Halloween Special!

☆°*•. Aurora!Wally - AU

Valentines special

You found him!

Hold him

Kisses for a fox

More info for the askers...

Halloween Special!

☆°*•. AppleSleep!Wally - AU

first concept

Silly sketches (tw: blood, staring)

Halloween Special!

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My Sona!

☆°*•.BEE.exe

BEE.exe V.1

BEE.exe V.2

Halloween Special!

Axe Wielder

Father-Son dynamic

High-Five!

BEE.exe V.3

My partner's fanart <3

[yeet-mcgee]

Silly lil Yous

Homesick! You, Aurora! You, and Dreamscape! You all belong to @the-doodle-cave

Ryan Lynton (the rainbow haired guy) is shared by both of us!

[pastelitey]

Hello dear pastelitey,

I have been reading your Scar-centric Roayl AU fic since chapter 3 was posted, and I decided that AO3 comments weren't enough.

I love your writing so much, from the vivid images you create in my head to the suspense you bring to each chapter. Do I know what the spooky stuff is or what is up with that? No, but I cant wait to see what you're going to do with it.

And the way you write each relationship, like how Scar’s and Grian’s relationship changed over the course of the few chapters posted, to the early ones Scar has with the council and Pearl, and now, the last 2 chapters giving us a BOMB of a reveal with Scar and Cub and just. I am in awed.

I just wanted to say I love your writing so much, more than words can convey, just all the little hints throughout each chapter, you have my full admiration.

Have a fantastic day!

aaashfkshdkafksdksa hi!!! i was surprised to see an ask on here about my homesick au(still haven't figured out what to call it lol) as most of it has been centralized over on ao3, but believe me when i say that i was very delighted to receive this ask!! hi!! may i just say, your comments on my fic always make my day, i literally can't stop smiling while reading your comments, lol.

thank you so much for all of your kind words and for being such a dedicated reader + commenter. it's because of readers like you that i do what i do in the first place. when i first started writing homesick i didn't think anyone would want to read it, but i'm so happy to know now just how many loyal readers like you that my silly little royal au has.

again, thank you for all your kind words 😭😭😭 i'm terrible with words when receiving praise, if you couldn't tell. so, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

you have a fantastic day!! :D

[theraedar]

This is your home, too

[fuji-sen]

Monachopsis; SAGAU Creator!Reader Headcanon

Monachopsis: the subtle feeling of being out of place.

c/w: angst, homesickness, slight cult genshin impact characters.

synopsis: The adrenaline and excitement had worn off, what replaced it was a sense of detachment and the feeling of homesick-ness slowly building up. No longer feeling joy at being treated like a God in your favorite game, you could only feel that subtle but persistent feeling that you did not belong there coupled with the sadness and grief at your past life.

divider credits: @enchanthings

✨ you wonder how things became like this, perhaps it was because you were constantly detained and kept inside a lavish palace, unable to see the outside world.

✨ or perhaps it was how your acolytes treat you.

✨ they did not harm you, but they might as well have all together.

✨ they treat you so full of devotion and reverence. Their touches stiff and light never holding you for longer than it is necessary, their manner of speech was always formal, never jovial even the bard of Mondstadt had a more serious and deep persona when it came to you.

✨ although their goal was simply to respect you for you were their supposed Creator, that very devotion towards you became the very wall that separated you from them.

✨ you could not get close to them, you could not pass that damned relationship between a Creator and a faithful believer.

✨ Furina had been closed to you at least, perhaps because she understood your plights. However your relationship seemed sinful in the eyes of the other acolyte.

✨ you no longer were able to see the cheerful girl.

✨ Buer or Nahida who's ability to read minds and the hearts of people worked on you, but it seemed she had learned from Fontaine's leader, she did not get close to you, however she left more sincere gifts for you.

✨ handwritten letters, books with annotations, even Aranara's were given to you on the guise of being servants.

✨ speaking of gifts, wealth, gems, lavish furniture, clothes made from the rarest fur and the softest silk had been presented to you. At first it made you overjoyed, to received the things you had long for, to become rich and wealthy.

✨ now seeing the pile of untouched presents all you could feel was cold, it was impersonal really. The clothes did not suit you, the gems and gold were useless for you could not even go out to spend it, the furniture as well for it was too big for you to used by yourself and you lacked the friends to even sit together with and have a chat.

✨ however upon seeing your favor towards the dendro archon's gifts, they tried to follow in suit. Yet their letters were simply filled with compliments of your visage, poems and tales about how great you were, talking about you as if you were a historical person they had studied and were doing a greatly embellished report on but never truly getting to know you.

✨ to fight off the feeling of sadness that began to wallow in you, you asked for them, desperately, "treat me as your friend, if you truly love me as your God then treat me how I want to be treated." you'd say.

✨ they looked at each other, before carefully and hesitantly agreeing.

✨ now you felt guilty, they spend their times on you. Chatting with you, telling you stories.

✨ you feast together, with food made by Xiangling and other characters.

✨ but even as they surround you, their conversations became white noise to you and the food seemed tasteless under your tongue.

✨ you did not feel like you belong among them. especially with that nagging voice in your head, snickering and whispering that 'they aren't your friends, they're just acting like it all because their precious Creator begged them to.'

✨ In the past, or your past life, doing something for yourself, by yourself seemed like a chore. The mundane chores, your job, studying even, but now that seemed like a luxury with the title of God.

✨ they did not ask you to do anything, you did not participate in state of the nation addresses, you could not change laws or fight for the people. . at least they didn't let you.

✨ you could not even clean your own room or dress yourself, Noelle took care of the cleaning, Chiori took care with choosing a set of clothes each day for you to wear like you were a kid and Xiangling did the cooking.

✨ It left you with nothing to do, like you had no purpose other than sitting still and looking pretty like a piece of decoration.

✨ Nobody disagreed with you even, nobody argued with you, they were like yes-men. God you began to miss your parents and siblings, you missed your classmates/coworkers, you missed working, you missed being your own person!

✨ it was beginning to eat you up at this point,

✨ to the point you had became overwhelmed with sadness.

might make a mini-headcanon series for this or an actual series revolving around this idea/angst.

do you want a series like this tho? it'd be heavily angst and might just have a bad ending or good ending.

[chimerical-daydreams]

does king get an "i frew up" moemnt?

Sleeptalking is quite dangerous when speaking the wrong language can lead to shredding your inner throat.

[l-ii-zz]

🔸 🔸 🔸

Since I'm failing miserably to update the AU's summary, I made this post with an even shorter summary for those who still struggle to understand what the hell is going on xD, so I hope this will be helpful 💛

I just added the most crucial stuff involved to the protagonists, but there's more you can read in the 👉 extended summary 👈 (there are some tiny things that I must change in that post, but the main plot remains the same).

If you still have questions about the story you can always send your questions in the ask box 📬

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A reminder that I have archived everything related to SJAU in this blog 👇👇 for you to find the files easily:

✨ @spacejunk-au ✨

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Small music propaganda

I | II | III | IV | V | COMPLETE

🔸 🔸 🔸

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm so annoyed. @kingcrow01 tumblr ate your ask about Danny's opinion on the League. tumblr i pressed 'save draft' why didn't you sAVE DRAFT.

ANyways I'm making a post instead. For everyone else, the ask was in summary:

What was Danny's opinion on the League now that he's left it? If he missed the familiarity of it, if he recognized the cult-like behavior inside it, and if he now detested his grandfather.

And to answer (again, grrr): It's complicated! We love complicated <3. Yeah, Danny does miss the familiarity of the League, it was still his home for the first ten years of his life and he has a lot of memories there. Plenty of good along with the bad, and while he's less homesick than he was when he was 10, it still hits him like a truck at random intervals.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are great, and he likes the Drs. Fentons enough that he's contemplated murdering Vlad for his meddling, but if he wants to eat the same food his mother used to make him and Damian, he has to do it himself and he can't get the taste right. No one knows arabic so he speaks it to himself because he doesn't want to forget his mother tongue, and he has a few books too. Frankly? He genuinely misses training.

Getting to use Sam's gym helps with his restlessness, same with training with Maddie, but he has no one on or above his level to go against other than his mother. And he only sees her twice a year at most. He knows that he's getting stagnant and he fucking despises it like a bad itch he can't scratch.

He feels conflicted about missing the League, however, since by now he recognizes the flaws and what was wrong with it, and he recognizes that it was cult-like. But even that is kinda, hrm, complicated? If this was a fic I would be able to go better into depth about what he has and hasn't unlearned because cult deprogramming is hard and Danny's doing most of this on his own.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz have helped with the more obvious stuff: like the ecofascism, the disregard for human life, his emotional constipation; the more obvious stuff that shows in his behavior and personality. But none of them are professionals nor do they actually know the full extent of what Danny's life in the League was like. They only have snapshots since Danyal is very tight lipped about it. So they can only help with what they see themselves through Danny's behavior or word of mouth.

But in summary: He sees, for the most part, what's wrong with the League and disagrees with some of the stuff they do now. But he's very conflicted, and trying to dissect his feelings on the League confuses him. His protests about it whenever Sam and Tucker joke about it have at this point become mostly empty (altho it still causes him some discomfort), and its an inside joke between them three.

As for Ra's? Despises him. If only because Ra's wanted him to kill his little brother -- thinking about his motives with the League confuses Danny, cognitive dissonance and stuff, -- a lot of his hatred stems from "He wanted me to fight my baby brother to the death. I destroyed my relationship with Damian because of him, I had to fake my death and leave my home, and I will never meet my father or see my brother again because of him. Fuck that guy."

[eclipse163]

He sick

[queenie-ofthe-void]

A Desperate Fool - Part 11

Part 10

Last Time: Eddie accidentally answered Dustin's phone

~~~

To say the past few months have been difficult would be putting it lightly. He wasn’t surprised like the rest of the Party had been when Eddie used a PI to track him down and show up on his and Robin’s doorstep unannounced. However, Steve was surprised when Eddie decided to stick around. It’s impacted the Party in ways he didn’t expect.

Everyone tip-toes around conversations with him in best attempts at not mentioning Eddie casually. Sure, that’s partially Steve’s fault since he’d initially asked them not to, but now that Eddie’s home it’s frankly ridiculous how Nancy will side-eye Jonathan during a story, forcing him to back track and say they had a ‘dinner guest’ over. Or the way Dustin stops mid-sentence and completely changes the subject.

He’d thought the worst part about Eddie sticking around was how it’s clearly split the Party into factions, which– according to horror movies, DnD, and Dustin– is never a good thing. Mike barely talks to Nancy or Dustin, who’ve both been banned from Steve and Robin’s home on Robin’s orders. It’s cordial between Max and Lucas and Dustin, but can be awkward at times. Wedding planning is the only exception to a cordial get together. 

Becky’s barely noticed a change, which he supposes makes sense since she doesn’t know about his history with Eddie. A pang of guilt strikes him every time the thought crosses his mind. He wishes he felt comfortable enough to open up to her about Eddie, about his parents, about his sexuality. Steve knows it isn’t fair to keep his cards so close to his chest, but he can’t help it. So he can’t really expect her to notice when he hasn’t given her all the information.

All of that bullshit was hard enough, but he’s adjusting. He’s made good progress at mending the Party factions, specifically with Dustin and Mike. Everything was fine. It’s just another part of Eddie he could shove away into the corners of his mind, and force everyone else to do the same. It was fine, he was good.

But then his Teddie’s voice rang through the phone like wind chimes on a summer breeze.

“‘Stevie?’”

Steve swipes his hands up his face and into his hair to pull tight at the strands. He’s surprised there aren't any wear marks on the floor he’s been pacing for the last half hour as he waits for Dustin to get here, even though he’d told him not to come. At least Robin isn’t home, neither him nor Dustin could survive her fury if she knew what was going on.

There’s a pounding on the front door that sets his teeth on edge. He’s told that twirp a thousand times he’ll knock the whole door down that way.

“Dustin,” Steve says exhausted and annoyed, “I thought I told you I wanted to be left alone.” Yet Steve leaves the door wide open behind him as he heads back into the living room.

“You hung up on me. You never hang up on me.”

Dustin plops down into his usual spot on the soft blue sofa. He’s holding one of Robin’s favorite blue, white, and green decorative pillows to his chest, his eyes just peeking out over the top like he’s hiding. 

He wants to sit next to the kid and comfort him, but Steve’s thoughts and emotions are a whirlpool he can’t navigate. So he continues to pace and avoids Dustin’s painfully apologetic glance. “I just need some space ok?”

“Steve, I know we all agreed a long time ago, but I really think you need to talk to someone about Eddie.”

Steve cringes at the name. It’s been so long since he’s heard someone say it out loud that his ears are ringing. “I do talk about it– him– what happened. I do talk about it, just not with you.”

Dustin flinches like he’s been slapped, but doesn’t retaliate, much to Steve’s relief. He can’t help lashing out. His hackles are up and Dustin knows it. “I don’t think Max is–”

“What’s wrong with talking to Max?”

The kid scoffs, exasperation apparent in his squinted eyes, and argues “it’s not like she’s going to give you an unbiased opinion. Max doesn’t like Becky, never has and probably never will. At least Robin and I finally gave her a chance after you proposed. So explain to me how talking to Max is better than literally anyone else?” He slams the pillow down next to him and the movement sets Steve off.

“Max,” Steve snaps, “is the only person who’s willing to hear me out and actually listen to what I’m saying, even if she doesn’t agree. She’s the only person who doesn’t act like they know what’s better for me than I do. I can talk about the bad and the good times with Ted– Eddie–  without scoffs and eye-rolling, or someone telling me I’m wearing ‘rose-colored glasses’. So don’t bullshit me about Max not liking Becky. You’re just jealous I’d rather talk to her instead of you.”

Fuck. 

Steve freezes in place and tugs at his hair again. He can’t make himself lift his gaze from the floor, stuck in a fog of panic. This entire situation is fucked, but he can’t bring himself to take it back. Maybe he could’ve worded it better. Maybe he can still apologize before he fucks up another good thing in his life. Before he pushes another loved one away because he’s too scared to have a hard conversation.

“You shouldn’t pull your hair.” Dustin says it by rote. His broken voice is enough to force Steve out of his daze. He sits next to him and wraps Dustin tight against his chest.

Dustin sniffles. “Are you mad he’s living with me? Because I’ll kick him out if you’re–”

“No,” Steve interrupts. “No I’m glad he’s back in your life, I know how important he is to you and I’m glad you’re getting that back. He’s my ex, but he’s still everyone’s family, and for that I’m happy he’s home. The Party deserves to have him around.”

“Eddie’s a friend, but you’re my big brother. I love you, and you’re my family, no matter what.”

Steve’s eyes mist over. He kisses the top of Dustin’s curly head, and holds him out at arms length to look him in the eye. “I love you too. And I’m sorry I snapped at you, that was super shitty.”

The kid smiles at him. It’s a small thing, but it’s genuine.

“And I am glad you’re talking to Max,” Dustin adds on. “But if you talk about it with more people, maybe it would help? Like, different perspectives and stuff.”

“I know. I just– I’m not sure I know how to do that with other people. It’s been a while since I’ve tried.”

“Well, why do you want to talk to him?” Steve should’ve known the kid couldn’t help but ask, especially with how their phone call ended. Months ago, when he’d told Max to get in contact with Eddie, Steve just thought he wanted closure.

After hearing his name whispered soft and broken from Eddie’s lips, a deep-seated craving rooted within him burst out as he pleaded with Dustin to give the phone back. He’d been drowning for over a year and Eddie’s voice was like a forced breath of fresh air into his lungs, a crushing pressure on his chest that leaves bruises and broken bones but brings life. 

Steve felt alive. 

That was the moment the panic set in. Anxiety, self-loathing, and shame crested higher and higher until– he was back in their home, screams ripped from his throat as he swung Eddie’s guitar into the wall over and over and over until their bedroom walls were littered with holes, scraps of wood scattered across the floor, slivered into Steve’s bare feet.

Except now it’s not despair or anger that haunts his dreams– that’d be too easy. The dreams that linger into the light of day are always soft and mundane. They’re dreams of him tucked into Eddie’s side as they watch TV, or Eddie smiling at him across the kitchen while they cook. Moments Steve knows he can never have again.

Unless. Maybe.

Dustin might not be able to read his mind like Robin, but Steve’s never been able to mask his emotions well when they bubble to the surface. “Steve, no, he’s not–.”

“But he’s trying, right? Everyone seems happy he’s home, like he’s getting better.”

“Better doesn’t mean he’s good enough for you, Steve! Sure, yeah, he’s genuinely working on himself and he really is changing, but that doesn’t undo what he did to you. None of us have forgotten that, and I don’t want you to either.”

He pulls his hands away from Dustin’s shoulders to wipe his sleeve across his face and sure enough, it comes back wet. 

“Fuck,” Steve chuckles, tone dark and self-deprecating, “didn’t know I could still do that.” Sniffling into his sleeve, he lets out a ragged laugh, long and heavy until it morphs into an angry, choked off howl of frustration.

Dustin’s quick to pull Steve into him, arms wrapped around any inch of him he can reach while Steve heaves deep, uneven breaths. Without someone’s eyes on him, it’s easier to open the floodgates, but he’s held back the truth for so long that the whole dam bursts. 

“Dustin, I miss him so fucking much. That’s why I don’t know how to talk about this with anyone. No one wants to hear how I still wear his old guitar pick necklace to bed every night, or how no one’s ever made me laugh harder than he has. I never thought I’d see him again, but now that he’s home, there’s nothing I want more in this world than to hold his hand, to hear him say my name again or see him smile. I want to be with her– I know she loves me. But it’s not the same. I miss him and I hate myself for it. I hate how much I’m still in love with him.” 

Steve’s not sure how long he hides with his face pressed into Dustin’s shoulder, but by the time he shifts away, the sky is painted in cotton candy pinks and blues as the sun slips below the skyline. Worried he’ll find pity carved into Dustin’s features, he avoids his gaze altogether as he stands to move. 

The sound of padded footsteps follow him across the living room, down the hall, and into the galley kitchen just wide enough for two. Steve pours two glasses of water and sets it down next to the dishwasher, directly across from the oven where he sets his own. They hop up in unison, kicking their feet so they end up between the other’s knees on the outswing. A calm familiarity washes over him, like instead of dreading Dustin’s response, they’re just waiting for the next batch of cookies.

“He’s writing a new album,” Dustin says softly, even if it echoes in the hollow of Steve’s chest. “On the acoustic.”

Steve’s neck cracks with how fast he turns to look at Dustin, who smirks lovingly at the shock that must be written in his eyes. “Mike’s acoustic? He pulled it out of storage?” 

Dustin nods, eyes still shining wet in the light with his eyebrows raised like he can’t quite believe it either. “I’m trying to convince Mike to come over so he can see for himself.” He clears his throat and wipes his eyes before saying, “sometimes I can hear what he’s working on and– it’s different. Softer.”

Steve smiles as Dustin tells him everything and anything he can about Eddie since he’s been home. Finally, he’s found another person he doesn’t have to pretend with, someone who won’t tip-toe around the Eddie-sized elephant in the room that Steve constantly wants to ask about. 

An hour later as he walks Dustin out, one foot on the welcome mat, a last confession pours from his chest. “He’s not the only one that fucked up. I– I did too. Made mistakes.”

“Well,” Dustin says, plain as day, so normal and even-toned that Steve feels his lungs sigh in relief, “Max and I are here to talk about that too, whenever you’re ready.”

Steve goes to bed early that night. He crawls under the covers and reaches all the way to the back corner of his nightstand drawer where his fingers clutch the small, plastic triangle. The worn leather string slips over his neck easily. It sits lighter on his chest than normal. 

There’s still a roiling sensation in his gut, but instead of burying his face in his pillow he reaches out for his phone, pulling it under the covers with him. His fingers move without his permission, automatic and self-indulgent. The light is bright against his eyes as he stares back at the string of numbers he wishes he didn’t have memorized. He contemplates long enough for the screen to dim, then eventually turn black. Taking it as a sign, Steve rolls over and is plagued with soft, mundane dreams.

~~~

Part 12

Tag List!!!

@sadisticaltarts @5ammi90 @blacklegsanji21 @jaytriesstrangerthings @thewickedkat

@stripey82 @a-lovely-craziness

[corrupted-tale]

chapter two is up! It's finally time to give Sun the grand tour of the house. Hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

[the-doodle-cave]

You'd think with all the character development he went through he's understand sarcasm, no, he's still a beloved oblivious idiot

This one's featuring future versions of both Wanderer and HomeSick that's why they look different :)

[pendwelling]

yeseo!Werner AU part 2! (37k)

(+ a compilation of some other old and new sketches!)

But yes, Part 2 of the AU is finally out :'D

You can read it on AO3, it's 37k words and full of my agony sweat and tears wkdhdkkd (VENETIAAN KINGDOM HISTORY IS SO COMPLEX AAAHHH) 🥹✌️

Summary:

Wilhelmina has become the Duchess of Sneijder. With all this power at her disposal to begin turning the cogs of her plans, Werner’s presence, however earnest and light, seems to make things a bit difficult.

Moon Halo pollen stain her fingers dark, but her brother's hands were better off clean.

(Or: Six years have passed since Jung Yeseo has transmigrated into the body of Werner Sneijder. He still has much to learn about his new sister.)