#holy shit this was longer than I anticipated
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Going feral over the Ithaca Saga rn
spoilers below (it's me yapping about the things I've noticed in each song)
The Challenge:
The 🎻Penelope🎻leitmotif to tells us who's about to (FINALLY) sing
I'm gonna be honest, I had heard all the snippets of this song because I wanted to hear Penelope SO BAD but I love having the actual song out
I knew this was going to be one of my top 3 from the beginning
I love the drums, especially when the suitors begin to sing
Penelope sounds so serious while issuing the challenge, it's very different from the snippets. (great choice! it's a dire situation)
"I'd rather die than grow old without The Best of you" knowing damn well The Best is Odysseus 😭💖
Anna held that final note for so long holy shit
Hold Them Down
I liked the repetition of the challenge by the suitors. Terrifying.
Ayron Alexander is a great singer, I had to listen twice because I got distracted by his voice so I missed what he was saying until the "hold her down". 😔
The lyrics are brutal. Jay did an amazing job 👏
Oof that sound at the end was disturbing. 100/10
Odysseus
THIS is the Ody Crashes Out song
OH! The beginning has the same structure as The Horse and the Infant / Monster
"I. Have Had. Enough." Cue Ody's leitmotif
The chanting of "Odysseus" to show HE'S the threat right now
Wait this is just Polyphemus/Survive but we're rooting for the cyclops
HE'S AIMING FOR THE TORCHES (we are the same you and I~)
YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW MY OWN PALACE? I BUILT IT 🏹
"Let's have Open Arms instead-" / 🏹 "No."
"Legendary" melody to announce Telemachus 😭
Is that Athena's quick thought leitmotif? I need Jay's visuals 😫
MICO did such a great job omg
the soundscaping is really good as always. I can picture the scene very well
"Mercy? MERCY?" 🏹
Jay with the crazy voice acting again 👏
The final "Odysseus" chant is the same one as the end of No Longer You 🫵
I Can't Help but Wonder
I might be wrong, but I think the beginning goes from Just a Man to the Legendary leitmotif 😭
Acoustic guitar because this is an emotional song
Ngl I cried a lot with this one
MY SON, I'M FINALLY HOME 🗣
🗣TELEMACHUS~🗣
I can't tell if the piano in the background is playing a previous melody. I need the musician YouTubers to drop their analyses asap 😩
Quick thought. MY QUEEN IS BACK.
"Show yourself, I know you're watching me"
Athena sounds so much more...human? She really changed!
Athena basically:...should we try Open Arms now? / Ody:...too late for me I fear
"Father? She's waiting for you"
Would You Fall in Love with Me Again
The deep breath before the 🎻Penelope🎻😭
I love how the strings build up/speed up! it translates Ody's anxiousness/anticipation so well. And all goes quiet when the door opens
Anna sounds so beautiful 💖
The lyrics are wrecking me so bad. Thinking about "So much has changed, but I'm the same, yes I'm the same!" previously 😭
"What kind of things did you do?" /
"Left a trail of red on every island" *Ruthlessness melody*
"As I traded friends like objects I could use" *Thunder Bringer melody*
"Hurt more lives than I can count on my hands" *Scylla melody*
"But all of that was to bring me back to you. So tell me, would you fall in love with me again if you knew all I've done? The things I can't undo"
Penelope's last test with their bed.
Odysseus: "I am not the man you knew"
Penelope: "IF that's true...could you do me a favor?"
Odysseus being so hurt about the suggestion of cutting down their wedding bed 😭
Odysseus: "the only way to move it, is to CUT IT FROM ITS ROOTS!"
Penelope: "only my husband knew that, so I guess that MAKES HIM YOU!"
She didn't ask him because she doubted it was her husband, she asked him because HE was doubting HIMSELF OH MY GOD-
I would fall in love with you, over and over again, I don't care how where or when,
No matter how long it's been YOU'RE MINE
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE NOT THE SAME PERSON! YOU'RE ALWAYS MY HUSBAND and I've been Waiting, Waiting!
WAITING!....for you (with the word "for" sung in the same melody the crew used to sing "Oh, whoah-oh-oh Odysseus." Wait is this her saying she accepts him monster and all? 😭)
*Just a Man orchestra ver.* I had a feeling Jay would do this, and yet I was NOT emotionally prepared for it at all
This song is basically: Odysseus hurt because he thinks Penelope confirmed his fear (she cannot love him anymore) by telling him to cut down the tree 🤝 Penelope upset with Odysseus because how dare he doubt her love (they love each other so much)
Penelope: "How long has it been?"
Odysseus: "Twenty years"
Both: "I Love You"
I'm so sick. Jorge can write a damn good love song for sure.
I'm sad about this being over but I'm also so very happy about finally having all these songs. This has been a great journey, and I can't wait to see what he does moving forward ❤️
#epic the ithaca saga#epic the musical#epic the musical spoilers#I love analyzing music- but my talents are more suited to the visual arts department so I DESPERATELY need other people's analyses#edit: I think it's actually Ruthlessness -> Thunder Bringer (not JaM)-> Scylla which makes more sense ig?#kay shouts into the void
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My [completed] CodyWan Fic Masterlist
This is going to be a very long list of all my favorite CodyWan fics that are completed. Later on today or tomorrow I'll make another list for all of the CodyWan fics I enjoy that are currently ongoing/incomplete (because we, in fandom, need to start supporting authors during the writing process instead of only after, but that's a whole other post).
The fics are gonna be separated by Modern AU, Canon-Divergent/Canon-ish, Crack, and Canon But a Little to the Left. Full Disclaimer: this is going to be a very long list, so the triggers and descriptions will be brief--make sure you read the tags and warnings before reading!
I don't know who these authors are on tumblr, so I can't tag them, but I recommend that you guys tag them if you recognize them--because they deserve all the love <3 and I think, especially now, we need to let fic authors know that we appreciate them.
Modern AU
212th Street Coffee by thosewhowanderwithfire
Cody runs a coffee shop, Obi-Wan comes in frequently with a different members of his friends/family and Cody learns a lot about his crazy life by eavesdropping.
bury me beneath the tree i climbed when i was a child by stormwarnings
Obi-Wan's family life is messy, to say the least. Cody and his family work as firefighters/EMTs/etc. and Obi-Wan kinda just gets adopted into the family by constantly needing to call the firefighters/EMTs/etc.
Coruscant Story by TyeDyeBoogers
A mafia AU thing where Obi-Wan and Cody are both in different mafia families, but then they date each other pretending to be regular normal people (bc neither of them know they're in the mafia, much less different families), and then a bunch of stuff happens and drama ensues.
TW: Murder, Violence
cradle my name on your tongue by jynx
Running from an abusive ex, Obi-Wan and Anakin move to a small town where they set up their tattoo and piercing shop. Obi-Wan quickly falls for Cody, the florist across the street, but bad things happen when Obi-Wan's ex just won't give up.
TW: Violence, Abusive Relationship, Drugging, Attempted SA (this doesn't go into detail, but it's still there)
Foreign Affairs by ro_moray
Obi-Wan and Anakin come to America as foreign ambassadors, Cody is one of their bodyguards. Both Obi-Wan and Cody fall head over heels quickly, and there's some political drama via Maul.
TW: Violence (I think?)
Hey Bartender by Wxlves
Obi-Wan and Cody both work as bartenders at Dex's, they become FWB, and feelings ensue.
I've Served My Time In Hell by TheSleepingOne (SleepingNebula)
There's a zombie apocalypse going on and Obi-Wan is repeatedly fucked over by the universe in the form of being forced to spend time around his ex, Cody, and Cody's very protective family.
TW: Violence, Gore
Liminal Beings by ChubbstheFish
Cody is the lighthouse keeper in a small town with his family. Obi-Wan and his family move into said small town and become close with Cody's family, but it quickly becomes clear that Obi-Wan and his family aren't exactly what they seem--aka human.
Not Denial by spqr
Obi-Wan is a PI and Cody is the sorry moron who falls head over heels for him after meeting him exactly once.
TW: Violence
Seeker Prospector by brigitttt
Cody is a bounty hunter looking for his father, Obi-Wan is just trying to study dinosaur bones. The two meet, fuck, and then catch feelings.
TW: Violence, Mild Gore (I think)
We’ll Do This Together by MageOfCole
Obi-Wan and Cody have a one night stand and Cody accidentally gets Obi-Wan pregnant (of the trans variety, not the a/b/o variety). Obi-Wan tries to hide this from Cody and his family, but Obi-Wan's family doesn't know how to mind their own business. Family hijinks ensue.
What…a sleep over? by Wixiany
Cody's family decides to host a party, but he needs to study, so he heads over to Anakin's brother's house to get some peace and quiet. He wasn't ready for how pretty Obi-Wan was.
You Gave Me the World that I Wanted by Legogirl22
Cody has to take care of his family, so he swears up and down that he won't fall for the cute bookkeeper he keeps seeing. He fails. Miserably.
Canon Divergent/Canon-ish
A Ghost or a Man by smallandangry
Obi-Wan makes a life for himself on Tatooine, eventually Cody finds him, and the locals get attached to both.
A New Life by cwiptids
Rex and Echo hear about a clone on Tatooine...guess who they meet and take another guess as to who they're married to.
end of the road by adiduck (book_people)
Obi-Wan and Cody spar before Utapau and make unfulfilled promises.
Glimpse Of Us by fingerstripesofchaos
Post-Order 66 angst fic, just like...loads of angst. This is not a happy fic at all, it made me cry.
TW: Suicide Mention/Reference
Haven’t Felt Like This My Dear by Bluebellstar
Cody gets a hangover and is a total baby about it, Obi-Wan is very amused.
little white truths by imperiousphasmid
Obi-Wan gets injured and only family and spouse(s) are allowed to see him...I think you know where this is going.
Made by Walking by piotsa
After Order 66, Quinlan finds Cody and then Cody finds Obi-Wan.
not dead yet by keylimemagpie (QuickSilverFox3)
✨ smut with emotions ✨
Our children our future (that we didn’t know of) by Feniksiara
After Order-66 Cody finds out that the Kaminoans decided to use Obi-Wan and Cody's DNA to make Force-sensitive clones...then the Mandalorian dad genes kick in.
Standard Operating Procedures by galateaGalvanized
A mission goes wrong and suddenly almost the entire 212th is in love with Obi-Wan...except, it appears, Cody. Y'all know exactly where this is going.
all the world in my arms by biscuityskies
Obi-Wan has nightmares after Kadavo, then shit goes to hell on a mission, and Cody worries--also Anakin and biscuityskies' OC Hex are little shits.
where the fields are painted gold by biscuityskies
The 212th end up crashing in the forest, so Obi-Wan and Cody get some "camping out in the forest" cuddles and also banter.
night spar by cabezadeperro (minigami)
Obi-Wan and Cody spar at night, and there is a lot of tension. Not of the fun kind, though.
chain of command by cabezadeperro (minigami)
Obi-Wan and Cody are undercover and eventually have to find some way to keep the people tracking them from finding them. If you've watched Marvel, you know where this is going.
In the Treetops by ebw_writes499
After a mission on Kashyyyk everyone needs to go to bed, which they do...all the way up in the trees.
Caretaker by ebw_writes499
On Tatooine, Cody gets sick and Obi-Wan has to take care of him. Obi-Wan is a worrier.
Love Despite the Distance by ebw_writes499
After the war, Cody and Rex comm each other to catch up. Also Cody became a senator against his will.
Overworked by ebw_writes499
Obi-Wan and Cody both had the same idea and that idea was "sneak off to take a nap."
Compartment Syndrome by elwenyere
After a bad crash, Obi-Wan is knocked out and Cody is injured. Cody carries Obi-Wan through all the danger while reminiscing, certain that he'll be decommissioned after due to his injury.
TW: Mild Gore? (of the "description of injury" variety)
Good Soldiers by elwenyere
A story about Obi-Wan and Cody throughout the War and after Order 66, with a happy ending.
Don’t Worry It's A Very High Threadcount by goldleaf1066
Obi-Wan uses a blanket to warm up instead of Cody and Cody is very fussy about it. It gets a little angsty near the end, but things end good.
And Our Faces Toward the Sun by goldleaf1066
The War ends and Cody and Obi-Wan share a kiss.
I'll Bend Your Light Around Me (A Sunrise At My Back) by goldleaf1066
A sweet little story about Obi-Wan and Cody throughout the war, with a happy ending!
Stepping In, Stepping Out by goldleaf1066
Cody and Obi-Wan take turns covering for each other when they oversleep.
With Both Our Hands Around It by goldleaf1066
Obi-Wan and Cody discuss their relationship while also participating in some extracurricular activities.
Crack Fics
Compulsive Honesty by afoundling
Cody, Obi-Wan, and some of the 212th get dosed with truth serum and just have to let it run its course.
Fools and Idiots by BehindBrokenWindows
Somehow everyone gets it in their heads that Obi-Wan and Padme are fucking, and Anakin is not happy when he finds out. We all know who he's really fucking.
Operation “who’s kriffing the General” by Sweet_bubbs
Everyone finds out that Obi-Wan is in a relationship with someone, but they don't know who--but boy do they want to find out.
Resignation in more than one sense by BitterChocolateStars
Obi-Wan tries to resign, Mace is a little shit (affectionate) and says no, and hijinks ensue.
Time to Celebrate by Kurosaki224
Kurosaki's OC just wants to talk to his superiors after the war and ends up seeing a lot more than he wants to.
Rex finds out by The_neurodivergent_nerd
Exactly what it sounds like.
The Trickster by The_neurodivergent_nerd
A long dead Sith lord has a great sense of humor.
Canon But a Little to the Left
closed together by numbika
Obi-Wan is blind AU where Obi-Wan and Cody get stuck in an elevator together.
I Got My Head Checked by frostbitebakery
Sith Obi-Wan AU where Cody falls in love with Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan changes the course of the War because Cody and his brothers make him realize he still has his heart.
TW: Violence, Self Harm (of the "making a sith" variety)
Marriage in Disguise by bjjones
Oops! Looks like to make peace with Mandalore, the Jedi will just have to send Obi-Wan to get married to Cody, son of Manda'lor Jango Fett. They totally weren't dating before this.
We’ll Meet Again by little_dumpling
Obi-Wan doesn't become a Jedi Knight and instead works in the MediCorps and becomes a doctor, then he ends up meeting Cody on Geonosis.
TW: Medical Gore (I think?)
What came after by galateaGalvanized http://archiveofourown.org/works/29595831
Obi-Wan has gone full Sith and is on Mandalore, Cody and the 212th go to get their general.
#ao3 fanfic#star wars#codywan#fanfic#sw prequels#the clone wars#codywan fanfic#codywan fic recs#fic recs#holy shit this was longer than I anticipated#this took me like 2 hours to put together so y'all better be grateful#possibly triggering
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admittedly, i am afraid to talk about this, but have wanted to for a long while. i don't see a lot of people discuss this kind of thing, but i decided to do so for the me who was struggling and didn't know. also i have no idea where i am going with this and it's very late for me rn so here's a whole ass ramble on vent art. and also a bit more on how it's impacting how i view my art, now. i am terribly sorry if it's not very cohesive, my thoughts on it aren't yet cohesive either WOOPS
i wanted to talk a bit about how vent art really impacted my mental health, and how the idea that art needs some kind of meaning to have meaning really has been weighing on me lately (i know this is a concept i am assigning to my work and is not actually the norm/standard expectation of others consuming art. but it IS a sentiment i have seen enough that does impact me).
i want to specify, obviously i am not saying vent art is bad.
nor that doing vent pieces, or vent blogs, will ultimately result in what i went through for a number of years. rather, that this did happen to me, and there is a near impossible chance i am a unique case in any experience i will ever have. if you do vent art and it helps you, that's good! im not judging anyone for anything here. if your experience does not match my own, that's what it's like to be human~. i am not invalidating anyone on purpose by sharing my own experience. sorry for the insane disclaimer but it will eat me alive if i go to sleep thinking "what if they think x cuz i didn't say y and think im a terrible person"
---
i used to do vent art frequently (you won't find much on here as it was uploaded to a personal at the time). anytime i felt down or had a line of dialogue in my head making me feel bad in a way, i would draw for it. but the way i had interacted with it was really unhealthy. it became a terrible feedback loop where i'd feel bad, draw how i felt bad, look at the art, and ruminate even more on how i felt bad, until it spiralled so out of control i would lose touch with reality and get lost entirely in feeling like garbage.
i would just get so lost in the cycle with vent art that it would make my mental space worse and worse, and i would use the vent art as a negative confirmation bias. the words that hurt me i wrote down and anytime i looked again, they would hurt me again. but i would keep looking, and i would keep drawing.
i have always used art as an outlet, but for some reason the way vent art impacted me was unhealthy. it wasn't a good outlet. and it took me years to cut ties with it. i relied on vent art for a long time, but it took a lot of introspection and thinking to realise it wasn't the release i thought it was. and it was hard to let go, too.
i haven't touched the blog in a few months, now. i haven't done much vent art at all since then and genuinely, i've been doing SOOO much better. i no longer ruminate nearly as much as i had done so, i no longer get caught in a feedback loop that lasts for days to weeks. i still feel like garbage like people tend to do, but i don't put myself in a cycle over it anymore. i have gone back to it a few times in moments of desperation, but what used to be every week/every few weeks is now once a month maybe. and not to the extent at all (i would oftentimes post ~20 images in one night, before).
but i keep thinking about how, while the way i had done vent art was bad for my mental health, i keep feeling that just because i do sparkly cute and happy drawings, now, or drawings with no real meaning, that my art has nothing beyond face value... i do like a lot of my vent art. i think their compositions, or hidden messages and meanings, or colour use, was interesting.
but it wasn't worth the price for me.
so i am a bit caught in an in-between, here. my favourite form of art is the expression of love-you liked something so much, you dedicated time to draw it. and yet i cannot ascribe that to my own work very often. i think that man i wish i could make art with some kind of deeper meaning, that speaks to people, that's more than just pretty colours or shiny shading or a character everyone likes, or a character i like. but i just... don't know if it's for me.
ultimately, i could develop a healthy relationship with expressing and exploring negative emotions or experiences through art, but... do i want to? do i have to? do i need to? is it not enough to just draw something because... i like it..?
of course, the answer is yes, draw what you want, draw how you want, it's your art. but i am still trying to come to terms with that idea. i dont want to be seen as some shallow artist who just draws what's cute and pretty because they can and it's all they can think of, but like what if that's just what i like to draw??
in the end, that alone is good enough, drawing because you like to, because it's fun, because you like the thing you're dedicating time to creating for. it's just hard to grapple with after discarding a type of art that i felt was the only way i drew "for real".
anyways i am sorry this is soooo fucking long, and for all the clarifications (IM STILL NOT SAYING VENT ART BAD AND EVERYONE WILL DO WHAT I DID!! Dx) and the fact i had no real point here (probably)
anyways i will continue to draw what i want because i like to, as i have always been.
#text#my art#doodle#sketch#sona#prince#cyclops#long post#HOLY SHIT THIS IS MUCH LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED#sorry for the fucking rambling essay at 12am#tomorrow im doing cute commission art because its cute and i like that#i might one day share some of my fav vent pieces but for now its a bit weird#its also weird being open on any platform of mine not dedicated to being my personal blog#so im also very anxious abt that#but i wanted to try being more open and active on here too... so...#i hope this is ok#this isnt a vent either btw just me going on a ramble#i have been thinking abt it a lot the past year#also sorry for the many disclaimers#i am internetpilled and working on it#its funny cuz i dont even use twitter or tiktok which is commonly associated w the whole uh#people irl: hey whats up#kind of thing#i am very scared to share but i have a draft of this topic saved already like i do want to talk abt it#idk what i am afraid of so whatevs#also dont expect this much so anyone whos afraid ill be doing posts like this often#uh dont worry BSBDFBSD
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hit the 20k word mark with the flayed!robin au tonight. this was not supposed to go this far
#look i always underestimate word count but i was NOT expecting this#i'm only like halfway through the outline too like#holy shit#flayed!robin#writing things#it's taking so much longer to write than anticipated but hey. bright side. apparently this is a multi-chapter thing now#(unless y'all want like a 35k word one-shot lol)
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hmm
#personal#sib no no#listen i know thst im so fucked up rn but literally#all it would tske to fix me#is a good dicking down okay#cedrics plans got delayed so its been longer than anticipated#and we both just wanna be together#but also i wanna have sex so bad holy shit#anyway
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JUNGWON’S WAIST IS DRIVING ME INSANE PLEAS EPLEASE PLEASE CAN YOU WRITE SOMETHJNG ABOUT IT IM GONNA COLLAPSE HOLY SHIT
IM GONNA DIE
i saw it too i almost s/creamed 😻
See-through Shirt
・:〃 ➜ pairing: jungwon x reader
➜ includes: blowjob, quickie, heeseung cameo
You were on set with him and saw the stylists giving it to him for the shoot. At first you thought it was a normal black shirt, but after he came out of the fitting room, it was something else completely. It was completely translucent. You could see his entire chest, his stomach and his physique under the shirt.
You were shocked to say the least, the stylists never tried this ‘revealing’ style on Jungwon before, and it was definitely a first for him too. The other members who saw also made comments like, “Woahh Jungwonie’s all grown up~”
After the shoot, you two were in an unoccupied room together organising some things. Out of nowhere, he decided to show some affection by giving you a back hug. You could feel his body pressing up against you, it felt like he wasn’t wearing a shirt at all. You spun around and gave him a kiss on his lips, placing your hands on his chest. The shirt was so thin, you could feel his nipples through it. After breaking the kiss, you gave him another kiss, but with more intensity so he started making out with you as a response.
As you pushed your bodies up against one another in the kiss, something hardened in Jungwon’s pants that you couldn’t ignore. He looked around, then back at you, “Do you wanna do it here? The others are busy eating their dinner..” You quickly nodded, pushing his body forwards, making him walk backwards slowly and ending up with his back on the all.
You bent down to unzip and take off his pants, making them drop to his ankles. Pulling his underwear down, his dick sprung up, slapping his abdomen which was covered by the transparent shirt. “You look so hot in this shirt, I can see everything underneath…” His tip was red and leaking with precum, waiting to be touched. Without talking any further, you started pleasuring him by licking the tip as a tease, while looking up at him. You could see that he looked at you in anticipation, wanting you to take it further, “Hurry up.. I can’t wait any longer.”
You attached your lips onto Jungwon’s dick and swirled your tongue around it. He held onto you and groaned as you used both your hands and mouth to pleasure him. Skillfully, you sucked his tip while rubbing the shaft, which made him moan even louder. It was obvious he wasn’t going to last long, judging by the way he shut his eyes and threw his head back. “Fuckk.. Love the way you suck it…” he mumbled, trying to his volume down as much as possible.
It wasn’t too long until Jungwon’s legs started to twitch, a sign that he was close to cumming. You saw this and immediately started rubbing harder and faster, making him moan loudly, louder than he usually did. You told him, “You need to keep quiet honey, the others are going to hear..” before putting your whole mouth onto his dick and deepthroating him. He tried to keep it down by covering his mouth with his hand. The room was filled with slurping and choking sounds as well as Jungwon’s sweet muffled moans. “Ah.. I’m going to cum!” Jungwon let out a loud whine as he released his load into your mouth. It came in multiple spurts, coating the walls of your mouth with his cum. You swallowed it, then stood up to give Jungwon one more kiss on the lips, making him moan into the kiss.
A few knocks on the door interrupted you and Jungwon, making both of your heads turn to the door. “Jungwon-ah, are you done? We need to film the ending scene..” It was Heeseung. Fortunately, the door was locked, so he couldn’t come in. This made the two of you scramble to clean up and organise yourselves, “I’m coming Hyung!” Jungwon replied back. You wondered if Heeseung had heard anything from the room.
Jungwon’s face was red as he left the room, making Heeseung question him as they walked towards the set, “What took you so long?” “Oh, N-Nothing, I was just carried away spending time with my girlfriend..” Heeseung chuckled, patting Jungwon on the back.
“Those rooms aren’t soundproof you know…”
#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen smut#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#jungwon hard hours#jungwon hard thoughts#jungwon smut
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YANDERE DELINQUENT X GN! TUTOR! READER
YANDERE DELINQUENT
This one is a long one! Not super yandere but it will be in part 2 if u want! Its just fluff now!
Yandere delinquent- who’s always into fights but in the end, always gets more beaten up than the losing opponent. The student who’s always scolded by teachers but… his eyes are always somewhere else. Hehe you-
Yandere delinquent- his grades would drastically improved if he listened but how could he if there was a particular pretty student who sat beside him.
Yandere delinquent- who tried to talk normally and be friends. But whenever you look at him with those eyes and the way you anticipated his words! Ugh! Stop being so mf cute-
Yandere delinquent- who’d be taught by a tutor just to raise his grades during finals week! He was annoyed but at least it was something.
Yandere delinquent- who was completely quiet and weirdly red in the cheeks during your tutoring sessions with him. “…holy fuckin- theyre my tutor-“
yandere delinquent- who at the end of the session expected you to quit as his tutor but you waited. Hell, even if he answered with the most stupid responses at least he worked hard? He says stupid shit now so that you could explain more making the session last longer-
Yandere delinquent- who’s eyes would light up and if he had a tail, it’d be wagging like crazy! Praise me more… please?
Yandere delinquent- who dresses up nicely during sessions to AT LEAST check if you were interested. He’d daydream all those scenarios all the time
“…if I looked more like their type… they’d like me right?”
Yandere delinquent- who stopped having fights because he didn’t want to have bruises all over his face making him ugly! “…they wouldn’t date a guy who always fights… right?”
Yandere delinquent- who’d save up his allowance instead of spending it on cigarettes just so that he could buy gifts for you if you ever become his lover… delulu mf-
Yandere delinquent- who was over the moon when you smiled and complimented his shirt for once- he wore that shirt and brand every session- “ hehe… they complimented me…”
Yandere delinquent- who’d study more on his own to answer properly so that he’d seem like a hardworking future boyfriend guy to you.
Yandere delinquent- who’d make sure that you’d at least kiss him in his life. He doesn’t mind fighting his way through your heart and studying hard just so that he’d finally become yours. “Love me…”
Btw guys part 2 is already been out for a long time soo go check it out!
#yandere x gender neutral reader#yandere x reader#yandere aesthetic#yanderecore#yandere oc x reader#yandere male#yandere oc#yandere headcanons#yandere x y/n#yandere#lovecore#lovesick#crazy in love
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Not a goodbye, just a brb.
And so we reach the end of TLE2.
…holy shit, y’all.
I had it in my head that I was going to write a whole deep, emotional retrospective on what TLE2 has meant to me, how it’s seen me through so many dramatic changes in my life since I start writing it in 2021, etc, etc, etc. And I have so much to say on that, but it turns out, I’m still a little too emotional to do it hahaha. Honestly didn’t think it was going to hit me this hard.
So instead let me talk about the future for a minute, and then another night I’ll invite drunk CH in to do my dirty work for me.
First things first, as you are probably all aware, I will be taking an extended break between TLE2 and TLE3. I’ve been posting this story pretty consistently since 2020, and as much as I have loved it, and continue to love it, it’s time for me to take a little breather and focus on some other projects for a while.
Please do not worry that I’m abandoning TLE. I am not. This story has haunted me since I was fifteen years old. I will never escape until I write those final words. It’s a part of me, and I’m going to see it through. One way or another. But, in order for me to continue to love working on TLE, I need to take some time and space away, and I also have several original projects that I’m really excited to work on, and that I have frankly been neglecting over the past few years as TLE2 took much longer to finish than I anticipated.
Among these projects is a substack that I literally just set up today. So, it’s very fresh. There’s nothing much there yet, but if you’d like to follow along as I focus on my original writing, this would be the place to do it. No pressure at all, but if it interests you, you can subscribe here. (It’s free!)
It’s probably going to be a month or so until I’m really able to dive into this, but I’m really excited, a little scared, and really, really grateful for all of your support.
Probably not a great advertisement for me as a writer to say that I don’t have the words to tell you how much you all have meant to me over the years of sharing TLE, but just know it’s a lot. It’s a lot a lot.
Ok and with this little self-indulgent post out of the way, I’m going to wipe the tears from my misty eyes and go press that publish button for TLE2, one last time.
See you on the other side.
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if only we could stay like this forever
pairing: 1610!miles morales/fem!latina!reader
genre: fluff, and a little suggestive
warnings: coarse language, making out
The anticipation was killing you. You were sitting on your bed, Brent Faiyaz playing in the background, waiting for Miles to come out of the bathroom. He had gone to change in the bathroom while you changed in the bedroom, very adamant about keeping his costume a surprise. He certainly didn’t offer any hints whatsoever, despite the fact the curiosity was killing you.
“¡Miles, apúrate!” You whined, eager to see what he had come up with. You had a thousand possibilities running through your mind at what he’d come out of the bathroom looking as, all more unlikely than the other.
“I’m going baby, calm down!” He sassed, probably annoyed by your incessant rushing of him. At last, the door to your en suite bathroom opened slowly. “Close your eyes!” He teased.
Rolling your eyes, you obliged, waiting for him not-so-patiently. You felt a presence in front of you, and wriggled in anticipation.
“Open your eyes.” He whispered.
Slowly you peered your eyes open, your boyfriend standing in front of you with a shit-eating grin. He was dressed in a Spider-Man suit. Not his Spider-Man suit, you realized, one from a costume store.
You raised one eyebrow, “Seriously?” A smile was creeping up your face but you suppressed it.
He burst out laughing, “Smart right? I didn’t use my real one ‘cause people might get suspicious you know, but still.”
“Oh my gosh, Miles que vago.” You clicked your tongue.
He looked at you up and down, the expression on his face changing from a smile to something different, something you couldn’t pin point. “Miles? You good bubba?” You questioned.
“Holy shit.” He choked. He was looking at your costume, you realized.
You were dressed as the joker, one of your favorite characters from the hundreds or so movies you’d watched. Your hair was painted green from a temporary dye you had found, and slicked back with some gel you stole from your dad. Along with that you had a white button up, the first couple buttons undone for fun, a purple blazer you’d ordered online, and some short black shorts. Your makeup was simple, some red lipstick that was smudged purposefully, and light purple eyeshadow.
“Do you like it?” You asked shyly.
“I- wow! You look- great. Te ves preciosa.” He praised. You smiled, and wrapped your arms around his neck. “You look good too, even if your costume is basic as fuck.” You teased. “You know there’s gonna be like a hundred million Spider-Man’s out there tonight, right?”
He puffed his chest. “Yeah, but I’m legit. They’re just posers.”
You rolled your eyes and grinned, pressing your forehead against his. He smirked, and went in for a kiss. His lips against yours were heavenly, making you forget about where you were, and everything around you. The kisses were light for a moment, before you tilted your head slightly backwards and his tongue teased your bottom lip, asking for permission. You obliged, allowing his tongue to graze yours, making your thoughts run wild.
The kisses turned more intense now, Miles taking control now and slowly walking you backwards towards the bed. Once you reached it, he pulled away from you just enough to turn you both around and sit down. He patted his lap and you understood what he wanted. Straddling him, you saw his mouth quirk.
“You good?” He asked.
“Yeah,” You panted. “Yeah.”
This time you kissed him, enjoying the change in position. You slipped your tongue into his mouth and he bit your lip in response, groaning. This continued for a while longer, his lips soft and plump against yours, the feeling bringing you euphoria.
After what felt like 3 seconds but was probably around 10 minutes, you pulled away to catch your breath. “Miles, we should-” You bit your lip. “We should probably...”
“Yeah,” He nodded. “Perdón mami, I got a little carried away.” He said while running his hands up and down your waist soothingly. The mere feeling was enough to make you want to forget about your plans and just stay there the entire night, doing this. But alas, Gwen, Pav, and Hobie were waiting, and you couldn’t leave them hanging.
“No te preocupes, I did too.” You smiled sheepishly. You slipped your hands through the base of his scalp, scratching lightly, a feeling you knew he loved.
He hummed, and his head dropped to your shoulder. You stayed like that for a good five minutes, ones that went by too quickly in your opinion. “Cmon Spider-Man, we have places to be. Plus you love Halloween, you wouldn’t wanna miss out.” You coaxed.
“I’d be willing to miss it for you.” He objected.
“Pfft. Jódete entonces, yo si me voy.” You huffed playfully, getting off his lap and pretend walking away. He was quick to follow and slip his hand into yours.
“Just kidding, just kidding. Let’s go steal candy from random people.” He joked.
“Hell yeah.” You grinned, putting your head against his shoulder, still holding his hand as you walked out to meet your friends.
#miles morales x reader#miles morales x you#miles morales#miles morales 1610#miles morales fanfiction#across the spiderverse#spiderman atsv#atsv miles#earth 1610 miles morales#fluff#make out#halloween
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ohhhhh bestie The Bear & The Fox got me GOOD, more please!!!
The Bear & The Fox (Carmy Berzatto x Fem!Reader)
Chapter 2: Like a fox caught in the headlights
Words: 5.7k
Summary: After four weeks at The Beef, you've learnt some valuable lessons. Finding Carmy adorable is the most dangerous one.
a/n: Because I am nothing if not a people pleaser, here's the second chapter for that one person that asked lol Enjoooy xx
P.S. Reader is Latina in this, so there will be some spanish lessons.
After a full four weeks at The Beef, you had realized a couple of valuable lessons. Subs and sandwiches were not the same, and Richie had a very strong opinion about the “uncultured jackasses” that confused them, Tina was nicer than everyone gave her credit for (though it probably helped that both your mother and her had gone to the same high school together) and lastly; Carmy being a decent person would be more counter effective than you anticipated. Especially when you learned that your building was about four blocks away from his and that he drove Richie’s car, because the other had his license suspended for parking on a handicap spot while buying cigs.
It had been completely accidental and not at all your intention, but on your sixth day after closing and when your idiot brother had forgotten to pick you up, you naively thought it would be fine to walk thirty three minutes to get home. The L was not an option as the last time you had taken it, someone stole your access card and it would take at least a month to get a new one. So you and your uncomfortable platform sneakers were stuck for at least another half hour until you could make it home. Or so you thought.
Ten minutes after leaving The Beef, with your jacket zipped all the way up to avoid the harsh late March wind, you had fallen into a comfortable pace. You’d normally wear your headphones to tune out the city sounds, but it was almost 11pm and the fear of getting jumped was enough to keep you alerted of your surroundings. The last thing you needed right now was a shiv to the throat. However, for a Sunday night, the streets were livelier than you had expected. People congregated outside bars and the family owned pizzerias that remained open past midnight to feed the night owls, stoners and drunks. You admired the checkered table cloths they used and added the image to the folder in your mind under ‘shit to make the beef less sad’ as you made your way down the blocks.
As you reached the crosswalk and waited for your turn, a dusty black car slowed its pace then stopped fully beside you. You brazed yourself for the usual catcalls or hollering while you kept your head forward, though the sweaty hand around your strap gave another impression.
“Hey!” You heard from the car once the window was down and you did your best to hold your tongue and not tell the asshole to just fuck right off, but when you heard him call your name, this time you turned surprised.
Carmy sat staring up at you through the cracked window, right hand already pushing the passenger door open and waiting for you to get in. There was a slight frown on his brow as you stood motionless looking at him because he was the last person you expected to see and also holy fuck, did that blue jacket bring out the already magnificent color in his eyes. The sound of a horn blaring from behind you brought you back from the ridiculous turn your thoughts were taking and you cleared your throat climbing into the warm vehicle. He sat staring at your profile as you took your bag off and placed it between your feet on the car floor, then pushed your hair behind both ears to clear your face and smile towards him.
A small ‘Hey’ was thrown in his direction and the warmth in your skin subsided once his gaze was no longer resting on you.
“You weren’t planning on walking, were you?” He asked, concerned.
“Would it be so bad if I say yes?” You ask back a bit ashamed. “It’s not that far.” you try to justify, playing with your fingers.
He asked you where you lived and when you told him the location, the car stopped in its tracks almost comically, although it would have been if he hadn’t stared at you with such a bewildered expression.
“That’s like an hour by foot!” He scolded, putting the car back in motion and merging successfully into the main road.
“No, it's like.. thirty minutes at most!” You fought back. “Besides, it’s not like I do it daily, my fucking brother just forgot to pick me up tonight.”
“Your brother the carrot?” He asked, now smiling softly.
A breathy almost giggle left your mouth as you turned to him. “Yeah, the carrot.”
That’s when he told you that it was fine if you ever needed a ride back because he lived in the same area anyway. ‘You can ask for help, you know’ He said, ‘It’s better than putting yourself in danger’. And you could have just left it at that, your boss being a decent human being. But the warmth of the car, the lowness of his voice and the sweet humming of a folk song playing in the radio, had your head swimming with scenarios that grew too quickly for you to stop them, even though you knew you had to.
He dropped you at the door of your building with a ‘Goodnight.’ and ‘Sleep well’, and as you climbed every step towards the fifth floor, you were reminded of the unspoken rule you had with yourself: No in-work relationships. No dating coworkers. No messing around.
No matter how funny, how nice, how hot or how lost you could get in the pool in their eyes.
That’s how your routine came to be. At least until Richie got his license back, which you secretly hoped was not anytime soon. You’d finish closing up front, take your bag from the office and wait for Carmy out back until he was done scrubbing clean every surface of the stainless steel kitchen. Sometimes you’d wait inside too, disguising it behind wanting to keep him company but in actuality you were just afraid someone would creep on you from the dark while alone outside. The car ride would consist of meaningless chatter on music, movies and on who won the prize to “Shitty customer of the day”, and on your way up home you’d repeat the same mantra for each step. As many times as it took for your beating heart to slow and for your skin to cool down before reaching your door.
***********
Carmy hated to admit it, even to himself, but it was evident from afar how accustomed he had become to your presence, enough that it affected him on your day off. It was ridiculous really, how off his game he was. Calling out wrong orders, oversalting the broth and even burning his hand with a metal handle he had forgotten over the fire. Tina snickered when she heard a ‘Fuck!’ behind her, followed by the clinging of metal falling to the ground.
“You good, Jeff?” She asked teasingly, looking over her shoulder at the chef running his hand under the faucet. “She’ll be back tomorrow, you know?”
He didn’t answer, he knew better than to do so because everything in that place could be used against him. She was right though, you’d be back tomorrow, you always were. On your first day off after being hired, he had spent the whole day doubting if you would be back the next, thinking about having to put the help wanted sign up again made his already unstable stomach worse. Then you showed up unexpectedly during the small break with a box of pastries you had made as a thank you for the team, each decorated with little edible flowers and colorful glossy coats. He had secretly snapped a picture of his, before biting into the heated crust, his stomach had welcomed the delicious warmth of food for the first time all day and the feeling followed him around during the rest of his shift.
On your third day off, you had brought your mother for dinner on a slow night. Your cheeks had gone up in flames when she let him know just how much you talked about the mouthwatering food served at The Beef and the wonderful people working there, before yelling something in spanish to Tina and leaving you both alone in comfortable silence.
“So you think our food’s delicious?” He asked with a teasing smile and bumping his shoulder against yours. You stood side by side while watching the two older women catch up in the kitchen like a sort of family reunion. Carmy normally didn’t let strangers into his kitchen, he was protective like that, but strangely for you, he was glad to make an exception.
“Of course I do!” you said with an embarrassed laugh. “You’re a great cook, chef,” You said sincerely and his eyes shone brighter than ever under the fluorescent lights. “You’re just too busy noticing your own faults to see it.”
Your mother had called for you and a part of him was glad she did, because he did not know how he would have resisted leaning down into your soft lips after such a beautiful confession. They didn’t charge for dinner, and no matter who you tried to give the bill to, no one would take it. ‘Orders from the boss’ they’d say grinning, and when you turned to the office, you saw a messy head of golden hair hide behind the door frame.
Now on your fifth day off, he wondered if you’d show up. He allowed himself a bit of delusion as he ran his injured hand under the tap, and imagined you arriving in one of those flared high waisted jeans you liked to wear. He stared at his hand and thought of what it would feel like to caress your cheek with it, your soft skin against his calloused one, doe eyes staring lovingly up at his as he held you closely between his arms… Fuck, okay,no this is weird, he thought. He should not be thinking of you like this and if they had anything similar to an HR department, this would definitely be a violation of some sort. And that’s not even talking about the wild scenarios his mind would make up late at night when he couldn’t get any sleep.
Even though it was just in his mind and no one else could see inside his little fucked up brain, it was still wrong. Especially when he knew you couldn’t feel the same. You were just being nice, he’d remind himself. That’s who you were. And he was being a pervert and a terrible boss by assuming otherwise. He had to get his shit right and his priorities straight, saving the fucking Beef from ruin was the first. He had to leave his stupid lovesick scenarios for when he could finally give his tired body a rest.
He pulled himself out from the rubble of his thoughts, turned the water off and dried his hands on the white rag hanging from his surprisingly clean apron. Then he made his way back to the station and continued on dinner prep with the usual automated performance he had trained so hard to cultivate. This he knew, this was familiar and precise and gave no space for errors or misinterpretations. This was his. Him. No doubt, insecurity or fear of reciprocation. A vegetable was still a vegetable no matter how he felt towards it, and he still had to be your superior no matter how he felt towards you.
************
“I don’t know which one to get!” You hummed through the phone resting between your shoulder and cheek as your hands were busy comparing the very similar fabrics in front of you.
You hear Sydney groan exasperated through the line and you can clearly picture her rolling her eyes at you.
“Just pick whichever! It’s not like anyone will notice the difference anyway.” She answered, and you can hear a light buzz of noise from her side.
“I’ll notice.” You mumbled back.
In your defense and to your well color-trained eye, they were very different. While the design was the same, checkered style pattern with white, they both had negative spaces of different shades of blue, one slightly darker than the other. You were leaning towards the softer baby blue, but it wasn’t the right shade. It was the third craft store you visited and none seemed to carry the specific type of blue you were in search for. It was a stretch because you were sure that shade’s only purpose was to exist between tired eyelids and golden lashes, but you were too stubborn and you had to at least try to find something similar.
“I’m sure people will just be happy to not eat directly on the plastic tables. Bring the one you like best.” Syd said after a moment of silence.
“Ugh, I guess.” You finished, finally deciding on the baby blue material.
You walked around the art supply section and picked out the things you were there for originally, a few tubes of oil paints, paint sealant, a detailing brush and a new spatula were what you checked from your list. It wasn’t your intention to buy more than that, but the sight of the shiny fabric at the end of the aisle had you dialing Syd’s number and asking if she thought Carmy would mind if you bought things for the restaurant with your own money. You were planning to anyway, but the reassurance was nice. ‘Anything that comes from you is okay with him’ she had said and a fuzzy feeling bloomed in your chest.
“We’re still on for drinks later, right?” She asked while you scanned everything through the self checkout.
“Yeah, I’m just gonna drop all this shit off today, go home and change and meet you outside after closing.” You mentally groaned at all the back and forth you’d have to do but it was better than carrying everything home then back to The Beef the next day.
Also, you had secretly taken a liking to dropping by unexpectedly to “say hi”. You were never the kind of person to go to your place of work on your off day, you never understood those people because, why be there six days of the week then go back on your off when you could literally go anywhere else? But The Beef had felt more like a home than a job ever had for you. It was warm and inviting, and you understood why there were so many regulars who still bought their daily sandwich after so many years. It felt nice to work for a place that was more for the people than the prestige. It was a breath of fresh air in a world surrounded by how ridiculous you could make a dish and still have it be considered food.
“You sure it’s not just cause you wanna see a certain broody someone?” Syd asked teasingly, pulling you from your thoughts.
You stayed silent on the line and that was enough of a confirmation for Sydney to burst into laughter from the other side.
You spat a ‘Shut up.’ and hung up on her mid laugh, cheeks ablaze.
After leaving the store, you walked the fifteen minutes to The Beef with your headphones on and carrying your bag of supplies in blissful peace. You liked days like these, the sun shining softly through the clouds, the air fresh and crisp and your heart light in your chest. The beat of the music coordinated with your steps on the sidewalk as you made your way through the industrial looking streets, letting your mind roam to its recent favorite topic of wild messy hair and freckle dusted skin. Syd’s words were still fresh in your mind, but also was the rule you had been repeating to yourself more than usual.
Each time he did something nice, you had to convince yourself that that’s just the way he was and to stop reading into something that wasn’t there. Every time you caught him looking was justified by him just spacing out and you being in the general direction of his gaze. The free dinner was him being kind, the rides home were him being decent and the sweet smiles as you crossed the kitchen towards the steward section were… Your doom, honestly.
Every time you made your way across with empty plates, even if it was only for a brief second, he snuck a peek from his bowed position over the expo, then smiled loosely back down. The first time you had caught his stare, you had carelessly dropped the dishes on Angel and into the muddy water then rushed out the back door because the space around you had become insufferably hot. The image had replayed like a broken record all day, rewinding in the exact moment his ocean eyes bore into yours like waves crashing against a rocky coast. It was criminal. And you would take to your grave how the memory had fueled the fire in your lower belly on the nights when you couldn’t get any sleep. Just remembering brought back the familiar ache between your thighs and you quickened your steps to relieve the sensation. Fucking hell, had it really been that long? It probably had been because you couldn’t remember the last time you got laid, or even been kissed for that matter. No wonder you were so wound up over a simple look.
‘That's it’, you thought. ‘I’m just hormonal and it’s causing my stupid brain to confuse horniness with like. Nothing more’ So on the last block to The Beef you made up your mind: you were going to find a stranger to sleep with that night, then this whole Carmy situation would die down and you would see it with clear eyes for what it really was, Carmy just existing and you being a pervert for misinterpreting anything he did.
You took a deep breath as you pushed the glass door to find an empty restaurant and you assumed everyone was taking a well needed break in the back before the dinner rush. You pulled your headphones off and made your way into the familiar hallway that led from the front, past the walk in and into the office. Your plan was to drop the bag off and head right out, you'd see everyone after closing anyway, but just as you left everything by the foot of the crowded desk and turned to leave, a tall shadow standing by the door made you jump back startled.
“Jesus fuck, Carmy!” You yelled at him with a hand against your thumping chest. He stared at you with a contained smile and it was hard not to smile back. “Was that payback?!” You asked, still trying to control your breathing.
“For what?” He asked innocently and entered the small office space. In the reduced area, his broad shoulders looked bigger and the thumping in your ears was no longer from the fright. “What's that?” He asked, pointing to the bag you had discarded on the ground.
“Oh, um…” God, why are you so nervous? “It's just some stuff I got for the front. Tablecloths and napkins and… stuff.” You answered by playing with your hands. You didn’t want him to be upset even though Syd had assured you it would be fine.
He crouched down towards the bag and rummaged around inspecting the insides.
“I was planning on putting it on the tables in the dining area… I hope that’s okay?” You added after what felt like minutes of silence.
“No, that- that’s really nice of you. Thank you, chef.” He said, looking up at you.” You bought this with your own cash?”
“Yeah.. but it’s no problem, truly. I just really fuckin’ hate those Starbucks napkins.” You joked and he sniggered while straightening up.
He scanned you with amused brows and for the first time all day you felt self conscious of your choice in clothing, or lack of choice.
You had been home all day working on a panting in the makeshift studio you had created in your living room. Your grandfather had helped you set up an easel and some drawers near the windows with the most natural lighting as a fun hobby at sixteen, and almost ten years later, the space had become a sort of sanctuary during stressing times or just when you needed to clear your head. Half the house was now covered with your creations, mostly paintings, but also a few sculptures from that time you tried to experiment with clay and almost blew up your mother’s oven.
That morning, you had been working on a piece centered around a stormy sea and a boat adrift, headphones on and too far gone into your own head, when you realized you had squeezed out the last drop of teal paint from the little tube. You could have just mixed and matched until the shade was correct, but your back protested when you finally unhooked your left leg from under you and that was a loud enough sign that you needed to move from the uncomfortable wooden stool you had spent hours on. So without changing from the paint covered overalls, cliche sure but cute, you thought, you pulled your sneakers on then kissed your grandpa goodbye and closed the door behind you.
Now as you stood in front of Carmy, a baggy mess of dried colors, trying to rack your brain for an explanation, you noticed just how bad of an idea it had been. You felt like a kindergartener’s discarded art project, and fuck’s sake, the two space buns at the bottom of your neck were certainly not helping. You scratched the back of your head nervously, trying to avoid his teasing gaze, then rested your hand flat on the desk to turn fully towards him.
“I was painting, okay?” You mumbled and for a second you felt like a kid getting caught doing something bad. It also didn’t help that he was older than you and a dark part of your screwed up brain searched for his approval.
“I would hope so.” He answered between a breathy laugh.
It was an involuntary move from his part, down right impertinent. Something he would never do in a million years, especially to a woman while they stood alone in a closed space with less than a foot between their chests. But his hand was already half way up when he realized what his body was doing, his gaze too caught on the light strip of cyan paint above your brow to realize how your breath had gotten stuck in your throat and your pupils had swallowed your irises whole. His cold fingers feathered away the slight bangs that framed your face and as his skin made contact with yours for the very first time since you met, an electrified chill ran from the base of your neck, down through every nerve ending exposed to the air and causing bumps to rise along your skin. It was completely innocent, but the contrast in temperature, combined with the close proximity and the emotions you had tried to sweep under the rug, had your heart in a whirlpool dropping down to the depths of your stomach. The bubble of air in your throat didn’t know whether to go up or down, so you simply stayed still as he gently rubbed his forefinger against your temple. Your mouth felt dry and your eyebrows were screwed together in a mixture of angst and anticipation. You felt like a fox caught in the headlights, treading carefully around the hunter.
Your eyes drooped mindlessly to his parted lips and the voice in the back of your head whispered how easy it would be to stand on your toes and close the small distance separating you. The hand resting on the desk had curled around the edge and you knew your knuckles had turned white from the force of your grip. It felt like time had stopped altogether, only your echoing heartbeat was the telltale of the seconds passed. You dragged your eyes slowly back up his features until they stuck to the warm icy blue and you could feel his thumb unconsciously rubbing slow circles.
‘It would be so easy.’ you both thought.
His face was a whisper away, yet it felt like a dessert separated you from the only body of water you wanted to desperately bathe in. Just one swim wouldn’t hurt, right? No one would know it happened. A one and done situation. ‘Just to get you out my system.’ you thought. Or rather whispered.
“What?” Carmy mumbled confused.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
You pulled back, blinking rapidly to control the panic beginning to bubble in your veins. Fuck! You tried to settle your eyes anywhere except on him while you struggled to decipher what the actual hell you were going to let happen. From your peripheral vision, you could tell he was also disoriented by the way he pulled his hand down his face, stopping to cup his mouth with strength as if not trusting what could come out of it.
“I-I” Your voice sounded foreign, barely above a whisper. “I’m gonna go…um-” You swallowed the bubble of air and wrapped your arms around yourself with your eyes trained on the ground, trying to pass by Carmy without touching, as if the simple contact could sting your already sensitive skin.
He reached his hand towards you and called your name. “No- shit, wait I-”
“Hi, mija!” You heard and both of you instantly turned to where Tina stood by the door to the walk in.
She made her way to you and you tried your best to swallow the batch of tick saliva that comes before the bile and smiled. You pulled her into a hug and kissed her left cheek out of tradition.
“Hey, just came to drop off some things.” You spoke as nonchalantly as one can when you’re on the verge of a breakdown.
“Good, then you can save me the trip and give your mom this.” She said while handing you a small roll of five dollar bills. “It’s for the tanda. Tell her my number’s up next week, eh?” She caressed your cheek softly then turned to Carmy with a doubtful look. “You look like you saw a ghost.”
“I’ll give it to her.” You interrupted and threw the money without care inside your tote bag, turned to Carmy one last time, then marched through the hallway and out the glass door.
You didn’t stop until you knew you were at a distance safe enough to crash. You leaned against the bricks of a nearby flower shop and closed your eyes because, even though you had never fainted before, this felt very much how people describe it could feel. Your whole head was on the edge of explosion along with your ribcage and throat. Your mouth was dry and wet at the same time, and the simple feeling of saliva on your tongue was enough to have you gagging with your forehead against the wall.
“Okay, get your shit together.” You whispered to yourself between heavy sniffles.
Breathe. Hold. Release. Again. Breathe. Hold. Release. Again. With as much strength as you could manage, you pulled on the long sleeves of your shirt and wiped the trail of salty water beginning to slide past your cheeks. Breathe. The last thing you needed was to have a panic attack in the middle of the street, so even as your vision blurred at the edges and your chest heaved from the lack of air, you did your best to hail a cab. With the first strike of luck in the past ten minutes, a yellow car pulled by your side and you wasted no time in getting in. With little control left, you told him your address and as he drove in the direction of your house, the grimy restaurant street sign grew smaller in the rear view mirror and the single thread that kept your fumbling heart together finally tore.
You arrived home in a numbed state, your body felt drained after going through so many emotions in a short period of time and you were glad everyone was out because how could you explain the absolute shitshow you had stupidly put yourself through the last hour? You dragged your feet across the wooden floor of the hallway that led into the living room, dropped your bag over the island in the kitchen and headed straight into your bedroom. As soon as the soft fabric of the covers wrapped around you like a protective cocoon, the dam in your chest broke open and a nasty sob left your lips.
God, how could you ruin this so catastrophically?! How were you going to show your face at work after this? You could just imagine Carmy telling everyone how you had come onto him in his office and a new wave of tears rushed to your eyes. The first job you actually liked in years and you ruin it by almost kissing your fucking boss! ‘What the hell is wrong with me?!’
‘In our defense, he came onto us first’, the voice in your head tried to rationalize.
The intimate clip played back in your mind’s eye from a third’s perspective, like a movie scene you’ve watched a thousand times in the past half hour. ‘It can’t be completely my fault, right?’ You ask yourself, analyzing his expression through your memories. It had to mean something, you don’t just look at anyone like that.
“Fuck!” You yelled exasperated and rubbed the palm of your hands against your tired eyes.
You pulled your phone from your pocket and opened up Syd’s contact on the message app, ready to write an excuse as to why you needed to cancel. But as your fingers hovered over the keyboard, a part of your brain wondered if you really wanted to. It would make no use to brood in your own self pity for the rest of the day, and maybe the therapeutic process of getting ready to go out would help clear your head and let you see the situation in a better light. Also, you still had a plan to see through and after the day’s events, your skin had been left itching for contact, no matter where it came from.
So instead of canceling, you texted Sydney that you’d meet them at the bar instead, then spent the next ten minutes looking for a playlist that would inspire you for as long as your ritual would last.
**********
The hellscape of a day was finally over and Carmy had never been more grateful. After the last order had been served, he retreated into the office without a word to anyone and had been sitting staring at the same spot since. Thankfully no one knew what had him in such a distasteful mood and he was sure as hell that it was going to stay that way. They didn’t need to know how he had scared you away with his impulsive actions or that he was to blame if you stopped showing up without explanation. The team had barely started to respect him and knowing that he had borderline harassed everyone’s favorite waitress would have him catching a punch or two.
‘Just to get you out my system.’
Your voice repeated like an echo bouncing off the walls in his skull as he tried to make sense of the words, but no matter how many times he flipped them around and rearranged them, he still didn't know what they meant. Was he in your system? Was he really so dense, that he hadn’t noticed you felt something for him, or was he reading too much into an inexistent situation?
His fingers tingled at the memory of your soft warm skin against them, the way your eyebrows had knit together while you stared at him with the most wide eyes he had ever seen and how you had unconsciously parted your lips when your eyes flickered towards his. Fuck, he really was an idiot. You were probably the first woman he had looked at with such adoration and he had to go and screw it up with his lack of control and stupidness.
He layed back in his chair and ran his cold hands through his hair, eyes trained on the dimly lit ceiling above him. An exasperated breath left his chest and he closed his eyes, scanning his brain for a solution to what should be the least of his worries in an office surrounded by expired bills and accounts that made zero sense. ‘What’s one more thing to worry about, right?’ He breathed out a laugh.
He heard a knock from the slightly opened door and turned to see Marcus staring down at him.
“Yo, chef?”
“Yo” He answered back.
“We’re all done with housekeeping’. Some of us are gonna go grab drinks and we wanna know if you wanna hang.” He stayed silent for a second. “You kinda look like you had a shitty day.” He sniggered.
He could always trust Marcus to tell the truth.
Carmy suppressed a laugh and leaned into his desk, taking a pen in his hand and playing with it. “Nah, thanks chef. I’m gonna catch up on some stuff here. You have fun though.”
Marcus nodded slowly, looking around the desk until his eyes landed on the bag of fabric laying on the ground. “Bet.” He said then smiled slowly. “She’s gonna be there. Jus’ so y’know.” And with a pat on the doorframe, he signaled his exit.
He leaned against his chair again and stared at the space Marcus had stood in, contemplating his options. If he went, there was a high possibility you didn’t wanna see him. But this could also be his only chance to get things cleared out and maybe convince you to not quit because of his actions. Granted, a bar was not the place to talk and definitely not his scene, but if that’s what he had to do to convince you to stay then so be it. He took a couple calming breaths to ease his heart at the idea of possibly even telling you how he felt, if you were gonna leave, might as well take the info with you, right? It’s not rejection if you were already gonna split.
“Fuck it.” He threw the pen at the mess of papers and the old chair creaked as he stood forcefully, then pulled his jacket from the back along with his keys from their hook by the entrance and followed the rowdy chanting of his youngest employees walking in a line out the busted back door and into the night.
Chapter 3.
#carmen berzatto x reader#the bear & the fox#carmen berzatto x you#the bear fx#carmy berzatto#carmy the bear#carmy x reader#carmy smut#the bear tv#carmy berzatto headcanon#the bear headcanon#carmy berzatto imagines#carmy berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto smut#carmy berzatto smut#carmen 'carmy' berzatto#carmy x poc reader
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STAY A LITTLE LONGER BABE-JJK
Synopsis: people say heartbreak from relationship is difficult but heartbreak from a relationship which barely existed is much more worse
Pairing: jungkook × y/n
Genre: angst
Word count: 5107
Warning: bit of explicit language, mention of public harassment, trust issues,insecurities,longing,
Note: this my first ever fic and English is not my first language so suggestion and remarks are very much welcomed. Story had been bit inspired by personal experience of author and fic is mostly based on y/n pov. Inspired by rosé song stay a little longer.
Going to college after a very long semester break was so much more difficult. I thought waking up would be the most difficult part, but I was definitely wrong. Leaving my house in this cold weather has been much more difficult. 5:30. A.M. indeed looks so dark, and this chilly weather with fog is much, much worse.
Reaching college was nerve-wracking; not seeing any of my friends for almost 4 months is making it feel like I'm all of a sudden a fresher. And reaching my class, I finally see my friend Namjoon.
God, I missed him. We couldn't wait and just started to share how much of a difficulty it was to wake up. Y/N, I'm telling you, this is against human rights for sure! We should just go and file a case against this timing. That rant of his was able to get a giggle out of me. While he was ranting, I heard Perisha and Tina calling me to accompany them to the washroom.
Wtf? Perisha was scared for sure. You are going to make me go deaf, Tina. Tina looked a bit apologetic, but Aisha was going to say more when Tina replied, "You won't like looking at the wall." Holy cow! Finally there was a much-anticipated wall mirror there. I guess we were on a good girl list of Santa's. And there goes the college bell, shit college bell! The way we ran to our class, pretty proud of ourselves After the national anthem and college anthem, my bench partner and I couldn't wait to spill our tea. In the midst of everything, I can't help but look at his bench. A very bad habit. And the feeling of something missing that I can't let go of. Dina, my benchmate, couldn't stop herself and just kept on talking about her trip to her hometown. While I was lost in my thoughts, his name pulled me out, huh? Y/nnn, did you hear Jungkook moved abroad? All I could do was act confused and not give her much more reaction than that. I mean, of course I did; how could I not?
September 2023
God! Why do I have to give a college entrance exam? Can't they just admit all of us? was all I could think on my way to college. Nerve-wracking man... entering the college with my entrance card, all I could think about was how everyone here is with their friends. Shit! My year gap and I already feel left out. Lost in my thoughts, I didn't even realize how I followed the volunteering person to my exam room; after thanking her, I just wanted to get done with this.
1 hour later
The exam was not that bad; I mean, I was smiling on my way to exit. But my luck, it looks like it's going to rain, and I don't have an umbrella. God, please don't let it rain till my Uber is here. All while waiting for Uber, I saw him for the first time, a man a few meters away from me, alone, maybe waiting for his Uber too, I guess. And an awkward staring contest... and finally my prayers were heard; my Uber is here. One last glance at the stranger, and I get on my bus. He was pretty handsome, but whatever.
2 weeks later
I still couldn't believe I got in; I thought my year gap would be an issue, but I guess my academic history did it. And I'm late to my first orientation class. Shit, is it only me who is alone? Shit, shit, and wait, that handsome stranger just passed by me? I'm not alone? And then he gets in the room, so followed by me. All my thoughts while entering the room were that he got some big foot. And one of the scary parts of the interaction, since I'm late, is who do I sit with? After scanning the room, I finally spotted someone with a vacant seat beside the handsome dude.
Hi, can I sit here? Yes, go ahead, and permission granted by a pretty stranger and maybe my friend for 4 years. And orientation starts; god, it was boring. And in the midst of it, I look at that dude in front of me; he sketches well. Wait, is he sketching when he is on the first bench? Is he not scared??? Was all I could think, sure. I'm pretty sure my eyes are looking like it's gonna pop off, but wtf? He has guts.
4 days later,
Whoo the fuck keeps an orientation program for fucking 9 days? Was all I could say to Jennifer, the prettyy stranger from that day who let me sit beside her; it turns out one of her friends also studies here, so now I'm third-wheeling them.
While complaining,onee teacher asked us to do something so nerve-wracking:, "So guys, I want you to form a circle of 8 and it better be both girls and boys in one group." And there he is,thes handsome stranger in my group. "Now everyone,I want you guys to interact, know your names, and go around asking other group mates names too. And a group that can give us alot of names will win.". I couldn't focus after that; all I could think about was interaction with strangers. My anxiety was already in peak when I decided to go a day without a mask. And now talk. I couldn't focus. Pretty handsome boy told me his name. I did too, but I couldn't remember it,and that sucked. But he has a very pretty smile.
Next day,
I'm late again! And Jennifer and her friend just went inside without me. Remind me to not wait for them again, please. Being late was one thing, and getting inside alone when everyone is inside is another thing. All the attention on me. My hand is sweating, and fuck! I did spot Jennifer and her friend, but they didn't even save a seat for me. Jennifer was mumbling sorry, but all my expression was giving fuck off! Already betrayed. I chose to sit alone, but boy, I guess luck is not on my side at all, because why the fuck is the teacher giving me a lecture? Have you not interacted with anyone or what? Why are you sitting alone? Join these two girls now. I swear to God I already have a teacher I hate. While I was creating holes in his body with my eyes, his words brought me out of my daydreaming revenge,"We want freshers to be part of decorating our department this year", and I need a group and names in the next 5 minutes. I swear to God I was not planning on doing it, but Jennifer asked me to join her, and a few persuading from girls beside me made me give my name to them.
If somebody had told me how much of a hassle it was going to be, I would not have given my name at all. But hey, I got an easy job. Painting something I love, and my pair was a girl named Perisa, and boy, she talks a lot for sure. I think we should just paint this with red. She looked at me for acceptance. And I just nodded. That's how our conversation was going. She was a talker, and I was a nodder. I can't go home and just sleep. The next day, apparently we have to sign up to create a college student profile. And I was stuck. Guess who just helped me? That handsome boy. He is helpful too. Just click on it, and boom, your profile is up. All I could do was stare; he looks a lot prettier up close. After I was done, thankfully by his help, I tried to talk to him and ask his name, but I guess he didn't hear me. But it's not like I'm going to be talking to him every now and then, so whatever... I was wrong, because tell me why the fuck is handsome boy Wait, Jungkook is beside me helping our seniors with craft. His voice sounds very good even from up close. And Jungkook laughs nicely. The second-to-last day, I got to know his name; I'm very proud of myself! And it got easier now to interact; we walked together till the bus stop. Exchanged our Insta, and now we go home and stalk. Nope, no stalking; he has nothing up on his profile at all, just his profile picture. He is a boxer? Damn!
Next day/last day of decoration
Why the fuck did I think he was pretty? He is annoying as hell! Like I didn't expect us to banter like this. He is lazytoo! !Like ew, tf, ,fno.o
And done!!! Teachers were proud of my painting. And I can't wait to go home and sleep, and I can hear Perisa saying, Yes, we are up for a stall. What stall are we?? We as who?? And I was brought back to my reality. Apparently, Jungkook wants to put up a gaming stall for the upcoming college program, and all the group members said yes to it. Fuck!
Program day
Our stall was doing good, and I think we are going to get some money, all thanks to Jungkook. Group mates are getting closer now; I now know everyone's name! Perisa, the talkative extrovert, Jennifer, Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung,jhope,and Tina! Proud of myself.
Jungkook is still as annoying but now bearable. He has a pretty smile, smells good, and is kind too, so...
A few hours later
While I was busy arranging our game, Jungkook called me over; he wanted to take a picture of my eyes, and I had to look up, and boy, he is tall. Very tall.
Taking pictures was never this fun until it was time for group pictures at the end of the day and he was beside me. Perfect height gap, but he is still annoying. That day I went home with a teddy bear, which he gave to me, which he won and gave to me after I asked. Red Teddy!
A few weeks later
After the success of our stall, we didn't have time to go and celebrate, and today was the day we did so. I wore an orange bodycon, my makeup was on point, and my bangs were pretty. I was confident till I saw him, because why the fuck am I nervous?The group decided to go karaoke, and boy, I realized he is still annoying! He is singing off-key knowingly. All I did in that karaoke room was slap his hand away from the microphone.Eating in a restaurant was very hard; we kept on looking at each other, and I kept on being reminded of my dream (wet dream about this very man). Way back home, we were back to our banter, because why the fuck was this man asking a dog to bite me? The dog was too loyal for me, as I had just fed him biscuits, but wtf.
Ended a day looking at a group photo of us, with him again beside me.
A few weeks later
College reopened, and we all got close. I was starting to see Jungkook in a different light, and before it grew, I had to do something, so I ignored him. It was going all good till he approached me. "Hey y/n everything good? And I folded very badly, and there was no going back, and I hated it.
Jungkook is everything that was opposite of my type, or that's what I thought. He smokes, does drugs, has a tag of playboy already, sort of has a gangsta group personality, and is just too much, but what can I do?
January 2024
Group decided to go to the amusement park. Something I was very excited about. Dressing up in a cute crop top with flare pants and good makeup, I was good to go! It was all exciting till I was in a ferris wheel with him; why is this hulk of a man scared of heights? Now I wish I had pulled something else while pulling a card so that I didn't have to be with him in this close space together.
Feelings are growing a lot more, and I fear he can hear my heartbeat from his seat opposite from me. I doubt I have hidden my feelings for him very well. I'm sure everyone knows by now, and that was scary. My thoughts were cut off. Can you please play the weekend song he spoke of? And there I was, wrapped around his finger, taking my phone out and playing the songs he requested, not caring how speedy this ride was, and one slip and my phone will break down. Shit, y/n, I shouldn't have come here; this ride is scary. What if I die? God help me; Jesus help me. Jungkook was turning red, and I was getting much more worried. Hey, hey, look at the side; nothing will happen. I was trying to distract his mind as much as I could; I just wished he knew I would not let anything happen to him ever. The whole ride I was holding his hand,, making sure to let him knowwhattwouldld happen until he asked me to lego.oDidid I cross boundary?rWasWas aI coulduld think of.
Once again, for the group photo, he again stood beside me.
February
My sister was getting married today, and no matter how much we fought, I was going to miss her. My friends were all here, and I was very grateful he was here. I fell hard for him today for sure. While playing a few games, we ended up beside each other, and when he noticed I was on the verge of crying, he was cracking a few jokes to lift me. God, help! I'm falling more. And there was one person paying close attention to us, my bestie Sam. I got a message with our group photo, and I realized he was once again beside me.
1 week later
Sam couldn't stop but keep on talking about how she thinks he likes me too, how she couldn't help but notice how he was looking out for me. And I wished he fell for me too. That day was too good till I saw a jerk ass jerking in a parking lot of the place I was parking my scooter at. Did that shake my head yes, and did I have to rant? Yes. I ended up ranting to him in a text; he told me how I shouldn't go to these places alone and he will go with me next time. Maybe he was being kind, but shit, I fell much more.
Next day
Jungkook was the first person to arrive in the classroom. Very shocking knowing he has this very good streak of coming to college very late or after college song.
While I was minding my business, Jungkook was looking out for me; knowing how disturbed I was, he was trying to lift my mood up a lot. While I was doodling something, he would come to me and say, "Why won't you draw a sketch of mine? Or when I couldn't focus and act out my lines for the drama we were planning to act out on this very upcoming social service college trip of ours, he was trying to make me laugh by acting my lines goofily and kept on looking at me till I cracked a smile. I fell very hard. Then I didn't hide it anymore, I guess. I was openly flirting with him. We started sharing a Netflix account. Actually, my Netflix account. I started giving him chocolates. A day before the trip, we worked together on a project that I had to submit side by side. My testosterone level is so high nowadays. Jungkook said it out of nowhere. I just looked at him weirdly and went back to work.
1 week later/day of hike
On our hiking trip, girls were mad at boys for ignoring our existence completely.The whole trip we barely talked. It felt like we were not friends. I was very disappointed at Jungkook for the way he was acting this trip. Last day before we leave this community and leave for a hike, I called Jimin to have a chat. Hey, Jimin, can we talk? Jimin was a bit baffled but joined me. Sure, is there any issue? Um, yes, actually we are a bit mad about how we felt left out and how you guys are ignoring our existence. You guys didn't even ask if we wanted to have alcohol. You guys wanna have it? Jimin was confused himself. Yes, I thought Lyam told you that; I remember telling him yesterday. And he was even more confused; no, he didn't, but you guys should have told me about it. I was even more confused because I remember telling Lyam about it; he even said he would deliver the news to the boys, but whatever. I gave him a smile; actually, I called you to say we will give money so that you can buy alcohol for us too tomorrow on our way. Jimin nodded and gave a smile back. We bid our goodbye. And I went to the girls to tell them about the arrangement.
Next day
The day when everything went downhill, on our way to hiking, the girls planned to buy drinks for themselves. They were still mad, and I was left there wondering about our arrangement with boys. Weirdly, Jungkook came to talk to us after he knew about our drink; after all,, he was the one who taught us how to mix it properly with juice. Girls decided to ignore them all the way tothe top. top. Jimincome come to utalk, talk, and when I talked t Perisa, Jennifer,Jennifer, and Tina got mad at me and said how I should just be with them if I want tbad. On ourt bad. On ourthe hotel,bJimino the hotelup.HeyJi, rememb how youy, , rememb howwanted tosaid you guys wanted to have a drink too? So I needed money for that. I was already tipsy frI hade amount of drink I had on our hikiPerisa I just told him Perisa has already bougha bittconfused. And I was areaction;used about Jungkookaction; I tho...ht Jungkook told them shurting,t since my head was hurting, I just was trying and lett away with this ca bito and let it be.You guys was a bit confused, huh? You guysa proud All I could do leave. d with a proud smile an"Hey, t leave.here.n cwentled me again, "Heso youn come here. I went tit.eWhatfused, sobring?uHowalready bought it. bring?dAndu brings blank. ch did you gmoney,ring? have I was s blato give.t Umm,e money, know exactly,no answers to give. "Umm, I don'tbrands exactly, On our I think theythe hotel,hJiminocal brandsup.Heynd, remembwhow youck to the hotelwanted toin called me up.Hey, , rememb how you said you guys wanted to have a drink too? So I needed I had for that. I was already tipsy fromPerisamount of drink I had on our hiking. So I a bittconfusedim Perisa hasreaction;bought it fJungkooknd I was a bi...confused about their rehurting, I thought Jungkook told them so... but since mand letd was hurting, I ja bit was trying to gYou guysy with this convo and let it be. Ja proudwas a bit confusleave. h? You guys did? All I "Hey, do was here.ithwent proud smile and so you leave. Jimin called it.aWhat, "Hey, /bring? Howe. I went there conbring?sAndou guyss blank. bought it. money,did yohavering? How mutodgive.u Umm,s bring? knowdexactly,s blank. I just gave money, so I brandsno answers to give. "Umm, I don't know exactly, but I think they bought 4 local brands and left.
A few hours later
When we reached the hotel, we were not tipsy at all. And all of a sudden my feelings for Jungkook became a topic. I was just chilling when Perisa started saying Y/n didn't actually have feelings for Jungkook, but after he showed his red flags, she started to fall for him. Tina and Jennifer were just laughing, then Perisa spoke again, "But Y/N I think Jungkook is just being kind to you because you are friends, so you should really tone down the things, and while I was sinking the information, a sound of a bottle dropping came. .
Reaching down it turns out one of our friend dropped his bottle of beer on his way up, till lunch time we were trying to solve the issue, after lunch we all gathered together to understand what happened so jimin told us the story
Jimin pov
After y/n told me about girls buying there own alcohol I was bit surprised so I told boys. Lyam decided it will be better if we buy it in a hotel we are planning to stay in. Reaching hotel our plan started, one of our friend mingyu told us that he will manage it, "You guys chill and just let me take a shower, I will manage the drink after that" But after 10 minutes got a message from lyam that we need to go out and get it, and on our way back to room our botel dropped and teacher caught us. Mingyu was mad but we were confused that when he revealed something shocking, "his bathroom was locked from outside and lyam shares his room. By the time I was done telling the story, girls had a same reaction as we did.
End of pov
Y/n pov
Isn't it funny how lyam is not here? Jackson one of our friend with whom we got close with on our trip spoke, mingyu was quick to cut him off, let's not play this blaming game and fix the issue. All this time jungkook kept on looking at him,but not a good look and I shrugged it off. Jackson was panicking now, guys I can't get suspended, my parents will kill me. He was very much in a verge of crying and I couldn't help but wonder where taehung was. Not only Jackson,it was jimin and taehung too. After Jackson got caught they were just entering and they were caught too. And turns out it was lyam who messaged them so it was getting bit fishy.
10:00 pm
We were having fun when jimin joined us, everything was going fine. We were actually laughing but jungkook and taehung joined us too. Jungkook was beside me but we barely talked. I was already drunk by then. Jennifer was worried about lyam so she went to check up on then and then everything turned upside down.
Jennifer entered the room, hey so what did lyam say is everything good? I asked her. Jennifer looked at me with burning eyes and brust out" HE SAID IT ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE OF YOU! WHY DID YOU REPLY THEM BADLY? I was baffled and shocked and jimin joined her but lightly, yes man,why did you reply to us so lightly, you should have gave us the proper answer. And all I could think was,so that how it's turning out? I didn't care about their opinion but jungkook's, so I turned towards him.and asked, do u also think its because of me? Huh? and he bursted on me , "what do u want me to say can't you just shut up? And that's all I needed to go and lay in my bed.
Next day
I woke up with a very bad hangover, but everything that happened yesterday sinked in. Seeing perisa sleeping beside me I stood up and went to shower and my tears mixed with the water coming from shower head.
Everything was awkward, jungkook and I couldn't look at eachother anymore. And it suck and what sucked the most was perisa opening her mouth while I was packing my bag. So it's weird between you two? It took me a while to connect the dot,and I understood she was talking about me and jungkook. I looked at and replied to her softly, yeah i mean kind of and im planning to fix the issue between us ,i gave her a tight smile,tears on a verge of falling down and she spoke again,actually he knows and i was confused so she continued yesterday we went to their room after you fell alseep and he was annoyed about you getting mad and leaving to sleep. So when jimin told him that's because you like him and he replied he knows.
This new information was a bit shocking but what was more nerve wrecking was how open those feelings of mine were that everyone knew. Then i felt this anger about everyone discussing my feelings without me. I looked at perisa and replied I will maintain my distance so don't worry.
I failed very badly, cause when he got into a fight with another group I was standing infront of him standing as a shield and protecting him. And that's when I realised how I revealed my feelings infront of everyone. That was the very first night I cried for him.
Few weeks later
Group fell apart, teacher snitched, boy got punished with library hours for 15 days and I was blamed. Me,Tina and perisa were in one group,others in different. Once a group with very strong bond turned to two groups who held petty feelings for eachother very quickly.
I tried to talk to everyone specifically to him, I still remember when he left me in front of everyone while I called him over,
Hey jungkook, can we talk? He just nodded umm actually it was about netflix do you have another account or should I purchase?, no need I already got one he replied very coldly, or then can I get a password? I was hopeful but all went down when he just left
It got worse after that, it felt like he hated me now. Like if I was alone with him,he will actually kill me and all that vengeance towards me caused I had a feelings for him?Getting ignored by him for few more weeks finally knocked some sense to and I knew what I should do to stand on my ground.
May 2024
After summer break I was done crying over him. I thought I hated him alot.. I barely walked to the same direction as him. But habits never go away, I always was helping him,he needs water knowing he won't drink it if I give it to him, I passed the water bottle till it reached him, he has no pen? Let's pass my extra pen to him. It went like that but I never talked to him even while doing this.I think he felt it too cause now it was another way around. He was trying to make a conversation. Trying to talk to me. Looking at my direction when he does something. One incident was when i went back to our classroom cause i forgot something and I saw him, funny thing man did a whole turning around to look at me. Or when i caughf him in a sick room checking upon me cause i left classroom cause i was not feeling good or catching him going to whole another room and staring at me.And it all just degraded my image more. Rumors started to fly again.
July2024
College was holding a Mr and Mrs freshers. Perisa and Tina were participants along side with jungkook. I was there with perisa and Tina during their practice. Catching jungkook looking at my direction was something normal to me now but I didn't expect him to actually come and sit beside me and talk. Hey, do u have that fan of yours? All I did was nod, can I have it? Without any intention of talking I gave it you him. I thought he will leave but he didn't, judgemental eyes of people were getting too much so I left him there.
Y/N said she wishes we don't win the title along side with jungkook. Perisa said it Tina. When tina came to me to talk about it I felt betrayed once again. I wonder what made it perisa spread rumors like that... but I couldn't confront her. Fear of being friendless was scary.
His actions became more constant towards me. Looking at me every now and then made me wonder if it was his new hobby or job. Trying to talk to me also became constant, my walks were breaking down when one evening while having lunch tina said "y/n really is someone with no self respect" and I froze. Once again no confrontation. Hatred towards him and romantic feelings I had towards jungkook had a very thin line. I used to hate him during days but cry because of longing I had for him at night. And I couldn't stand him anymore now. His actions towards me made me think maybe he is falling for me,but him getting touchy with someone new and dating her infront of me made me think delusional I gotta be again.
Till the very last day I didn't talk to him. News about him trying for abroad was spreading. I still remember praying to God when I found out it was his interview day. He nailed it. After that my only goal was to talk to him and say goodbye just one goodbye I didn't have guts to do so.
August 2024
Semester break started and that's when I got the news about his visa getting approved from namjoon. A very good friend of mine after that service camp. When he told me about it i was relieved but one day it just hit me and I was there,crying my eyes put cause I missed him. I missed him alot more each and every day. Then the day he had to fly came. I remember going towards airport to see him atkeast one last time,but left before I could do so. I wish I could talk to him one last time. Ask him if he can stay a little longer with me for awhile let all these frustrating feelings of mine to him.
It's been 2 months since he left and longing I feel for him is just getting much bad. Crying for him is now a everyday routine. I wanna message him but he is in another country now. And its not like I can tie his leg down just cause I fell too deep down to the ocean.
#jungkook ff#jungkook#jungkook au#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic recs#jungkook fluff#jungkook scenarios#jungkook series#jungkook smut#jungkook fiction#bts army#bts#bts fanfction
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valentine
g!pmomo x jihyo
warnings: smut, g!p, praise kink, light bondage
Every creak of the bed frame and every featherlight touch of the sheets against her back made Jihyo's heart pound in her chest. The blindfold over her eyes and the alcohol freely flowing through her veins caused every other sense in Jihyo's body to increase tenfold.
The usual faint scent of Momo's rose perfume filled her nose and clouded her mind. The palms of her hands were starting to sweat, and her shoulders were getting sore from their elevated position, but she knew better than to bring them down.
Jihyo swore she could feel every silky thread on Momo's tie that was wrapped tightly around her wrists, but it could have just been the alcohol.
Her body was on fire from how much she drank. Her cheeks were flushed and matched the rosy glow on her ass from how many times Momo's hand smacked her. The sting on her ass was welcome, but it didn't help the now cold wetness that was clinging to the inside of her thighs.
"M-Momo please. I need you to-to touch me." Jihyo was desperate. Her words came out in short, breathy pants as she tried her best to stay still on the bed.
Momo was just enjoying the sight of her girlfriend dripping wet and blushing just from a few hard smacks and a little alcohol. As she stared down at Jihyo's exposed body, she felt her cock throb against the thin fabric of her boxers.
It wasn't fair that Jihyo was so exposed, but she still had her boxers on. Momo took her time slipping her red boxers off. The small wet spot from her pre-cum was a reminder that Jihyo wasn't the only one affected by such momentary foreplay.
"I already have touched you, baby. You're practically soaking the bed already."
The husky tone of Momo's voice covered by her teasing words caused Jihyo to shiver. She knew that Momo was just as turned on as her, but the more she struggled, the longer it was going to take to get what she wanted.
Before Jihyo could beg again, Momo's hands gently slid up her tiny waist. Jihyo flinched a bit but relaxed, a shaky breath falling from her lips as Momo gently squeezed her hips.
"You look so good like this, Hyo. Already so wet for me." Momo smirked and adjusted to pepper gentle kisses over her girlfriend's belly.
Momo briefly looked up to see Jihyo pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. The urge to just buck her hips up against Momo's hands was becoming almost irresistible.
"You've been doing such a good job for me, baby." Momo's words were mumbled by Jihyo's skin as she gently kissed and sucked her way up to her girlfriend's breasts.
Just the sight of Jihyo's hard nipples was enough to make Momo's mouth water. She wrapped her mouth around one, smiling at the throaty moan that left her lover.
Momo swirled her tongue around the stiff peak, her fingers pinching the other between her thumb and forefinger as Jihyo's pleasured moans and gasps filled the bedroom.
"What do you want, Hyo?" Momo asked between licks and sucks, her free hand trailing down Jihyo's belly to rest on her upper thigh.
"Need y-ou. Please, baby. I need you i-inside me." Jihyo could barely speak. The alcohol was clouding her mind and Momo's mouth, and hands were sending electricity through her body.
Deciding that toying with Jihyo for the past ten minutes was more than enough torture, Momo acquiesced. She gave Jihyo's nipples one last harsh pinch and bite before she sat up. Leaning back against her heels, Momo stroked her throbbing cock a few times before she rubbed the leaking tip against her girlfriend's tight heat.
"Holy shit, baby. How are you so wet?" Momo breathed out, a soft moan leaving her lips as she bumped her cockhead against Jihyo's swollen clit.
"Fuck. Your h-ands and your- your mouth, Mo. Please." The second Jihyo felt the tip of Momo's cock rubbing against her clit, her breath hitched. Her body was practically vibrating with anticipation as Momo admired her exposed, dripping folds.
After a few more strokes, Momo couldn't tease any longer. She gripped Jihyo's hips and pushed her thick length in. No matter how many times they had sex, Momo knew she'd never get tired of the feeling, the sight, or the sound of Jihyo's walls stretching to accommodate her.
"Ji oh my god. Oh fuck baby you-you're so fuck- so fucking tight."
With every inch, Jihyo's moans increased. She couldn't help but buck her hips up, her tight heat trying to pull in every single inch of her girlfriend's cock. "Don't stop. Fuck I-I need all of you in me, baby."
Once Momo was finally fully seated inside Jihyo, she let out a throaty groan at the way Jihyo's pussy throbbed around her. She slowly pulled out to the tip, thrusting all the way back in.
Momo kept a slow pace only for a few seconds. Their desire for release had grown too strong as Momo gripped Jihyo's hips harder. She slid her cock in and out of Jihyo's dripping pussy with ease, each thrust faster than the previous.
"So fucking good, baby. Taking my cock so fucking well." Momo grunted out in between thrusts, the sound of their hips colliding and their shared moans easily filling the air.
"Gonna make you cum, baby. Want to see that pretty pussy cum around my cock."
Jihyo just wordlessly nodded. Her mouth hung open and her breasts bounced with the force of Momo's hips thrusting into her. If she wasn't drunk already, she would have blamed Momo's thick length hitting every sweet spot inside of her.
Suddenly, Momo threw Jihyo's legs over her shoulders. Jihyo let out a small squeak, followed by a high-pitched moan. The new angle caused Momo's cock to somehow reach deeper inside of her as each thrust connected with her cervix.
Momo's heavy breathing was punctuated with every fast and hard thrust into Jihyo's tight heat. She moved her hands up to grab Jihyo's waist, desperate for more leverage as she slammed her hips against her girlfriend's.
"Just like that. Fuck- oh fuck just like that, baby."
Jihyo's words spurred Momo on as the sounds that came out of her girlfriend's mouth sounded almost animalistic. The pain in Jihyo's shoulders had been replaced by the searing stretch of her pussy around Momo's cock. She clasped her hands together, her knuckles turning white with how tight she was squeezing them.
"Oh- oh Hyo. You're taking my cock so well." Momo moaned out as she felt Jihyo's walls squeeze around her. She could tell Jihyo was getting close as her breathing became heavier, and her legs squeezed around her neck.
"You're doing such a good job for me, baby. I need you to cum on my cock. You can do it."
"S- I'm so close, Mo. I need to cum so bad- so fucking bad." Jihyo was on the verge of tears from intensity of Momo's thrusts and the knot that was quickly tightening in her belly.
Sensing her desperation, Momo let one hand slide to Jihyo's swollen clit. She collected some of her juices on her thumb and started to rub tight circles into it.
The added stimulation was just enough to send Jihyo over the edge. After a few seconds, her body shook like a leaf. She clamped down on Momo's cock as her orgasm ripped through her. The pleasure was almost too much as she opened her mouth wide to scream out Momo's name.
The look of pure bliss and exhaustion on Jihyo's face made Momo pick up her speed. She furiously thrusted her hips into Jihyo's. Planting both of her hands on either side of Jihyo's head, she grunted and moaned as she felt her balls draw up.
"Fuck, baby. Fuck fuck fuck!" Momo yelled as she clutched the sheets. Her hips stuttered and her eyes rolled back as she emptied her load deep into Jihyo's pussy. "Take my cum, baby. Fuck- oh holy fuck you did so good for me, Hyo."
Momo panted as she emptied her load. Her adrenaline was rushing through her as she gently thrusted into Jihyo, helping them ride out their orgasms.
Once Momo's hips stilled, her cock nestled deep inside Jihyo, she slowly lifted her girlfriend's blindfold. Momo gave her a second to adjust to the dimmed lights before she smiled and let out a breathless laugh. She carefully untied her hands and threw her tie onto the floor.
Jihyo blinked a few times as she smiled softly at the sight of Momo's flushed face looking down at her adoringly. Momo leaned down and gently pressed her lips against Jihyo's, smiling into the kiss as she helped Jihyo lower her arms.
"You did such a good job, baby. That felt so fucking good." Momo, still a little breathless, sat up and carefully pulled her cock out of Jihyo's pussy. She let out a soft moan as she watched her cum slowly drip out of her used hole.
"I love you so fucking much, Hyo."
Jihyo playfully rolled her eyes and pulled Momo down to lay beside her. Momo wrapped her arms around Jihyo's waist and gently caressed her sides.
"Do you maybe want to tell me that to my face and not to my pussy?"
Momo laughed and brought a hand up to cup Jihyo's cheek. She rubbed her thumb along Jihyo's bottom lip and smiled, kissing her gently as she whispered against her lips, "I love you, Hyo. Happy Valentine's Day.”
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Hiiiii!! I’m here to humbly request my weekly sentences.
🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒
YAY! Here we go!
45 for 🧟:
---
Pressing forward, into Buck. Like Buck might crack open and envelop him. And you know what? Buck wants to. He leans back into the couch, letting Eddie chase him with his mouth, until he’s leaning right over him. Practically straddling him. Buck can feel Eddie’s bulge, hard through his pants, when he leans against Buck and his brain sort of glitches. He’s never wanted to feel that before, but now that he has? Holy shit? His own dick is straining against his jeans, equally as aroused. This is a fucking revalation.
“God,” Buck pants as Eddie moves his lips from Buck’s mouth to Buck’s jaw. “You’re so hot.”
Eddie chuckles. Buck feels the vibration of it against his throat, along with Eddie’s stubble. He likes that. He likes stubble.
“You figure out the answer to your question from earlier yet?” Eddie asks.
“I’m figuring something out, alright,” Buck confirms.
Eddie pauses. “So this is good?”
“This is so good,” Buck confirms before kissing him again.
They make out for a little while longer. Then things start to get handsy. And, honest to god, Buck doesn’t even start it. It’s Eddie. All Eddie. Like Buck’s body language and verbal encouragement has fueled him with a sort of confidence. And Buck loves it. Loves the hand slipping under his shirt, tugging it off. Loves the way they’re grinding against each other. It’s all building towards something. Something Buck didn’t expect when he woke up to thieves ruining Eddie’s truck this morning. But something he’s anticipating a lot now that it’s on the table.
“Wait,” Buck pants when Eddie finally gets the shirt off from over his head.
Eddie freezes. Like Buck is about to remember he’s supposed to be straight and toss Eddie off of him.
“I was serious before,” Buck says.
“About what?” Eddie asks.
“You should really take the big old master bedroom with the king sized bed tonight,” Buck says.
It takes a moment for understanding to register in Eddie’s eyes. “Well, I was serious, too. Who wants to sleep in all that by themselves?”
---
66 for ❄️:
---
“You’ve never thought about trying to resolve it?” Eddie asks.
“Of course I have.”
“And?” Eddie presses.
He’s not sure why. Maybe because the thought of fixing things with a sibling is lower stakes and less scary than fixing things with a child. And they both have children to fix things with.
“Hard to fix things with someone in the throes of addiction,” Charlie says.
“Right,” Eddie says. “He’s still not sober?”
“I don’t know,” Charlie admits. “He wasn’t for a long time. And then, last I heard, he was. But that was years ago. If he is, well… That’s the longest he’s ever kept it up.”
“Damn,” Eddie sighs. “That’s tough.”
Charlie nods.
“Do you want closure?” Eddie asks.
“It would… Yeah. It would be good.”
“I think you should try,” Eddie says.
“Words of wisdom, huh?” Charlie mumbles.
“Just an idea,” Eddie shrugs.
“Maybe I’ll fix things with my brother when you tell that best friend of yours you’re in love with him.”
Eddie gapes. “What? I didn’t tell you that!”
Charlie smirks. “But it’s true.”
Fuck.
“Well, that’s not fair…” Eddie scowls. “Plus, he has a boyfriend. There are different rules than for estranged brothers.”
Charlie hums thoughtfully. “Alright. Tell you what…”
“Uh oh,” Eddie mutters.
“This guy, he loves you right?” Charlie asks.
“I didn’t tell you that, either,” Eddie says.
“You’ve described the dynamic,” Charlie says. “That’s close enough.”
Eddie groans. “Okay, yeah. I think if he knew I was an option, he would… He would want that option.”
“Well, then alright. I give it two more months with his boyfriend, max.”
“What?” Eddie scoffs. “Man, you can’t know that.”
“I’d put money on it. I bet it’ll be even less.”
Eddie huffs.
“You talk to him. I talk to my brother. Deal?”
“Fine,” Eddie grumbles. “Whatever. You’re wrong, so it doesn’t matter.”
---
48 for 🚒:
---
“It’s not!” Buck insists.
“Well, both those things are easily resolved,” Hen’s voice adds. “You know he’d never choose Tommy over you.”
Hmm. That’s considerably harder to deny.
“Do we know someone else dating a Tommy?” Buck asks.
Bobby sighs.
He lifts his radio to his mouth. “Guys, this is an open channel.”
Buck’s face starts burning. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Eddie’s gonna know he heard. About… Well, about something that might not be about him even. But the whole gay thing… Obviously he didn’t want Buck to know. Why didn’t he want Buck to know? Hen and Chim and garden shears guy can know but not Buck?
There’s a long peel of silence from the other end of the radio.
“Gossip on an open channel,” Paulson sighs, shaking his head. He’s missing the plot a little.
“Uh, Cap,” Chim eventually cuts in. “How much of that…”
“Enough,” Bobby replies, wincing a little.
“And I’m guessing that…”
“Yep,” Bobby confirms. “He heard it.”
No, no, no. Don’t imply about him. Don’t do that.
“Okay,” Hen cuts in. “Traffic’s bad tonight, Bobby. It might take us longer getting home from the hospital than usual.”
Buck looks out the window. Traffic isn’t great. But it’s also not… Unusually bad? It’s Los Angeles standard?
“Understood, Hen,” Bobby replies. “No rush.”
No rush? They’re firefighters. What’s going on?
Bobby lowers his radio and turns back to Buck.
“That wasn’t about me,” Buck says again.
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Pretty Portraits
What happens when you, Kugisaki and Itadori find that Fushiguro left his journal behind?
WARNINGS: none. just pure fluff. maybe a tiny bit of angst if you squint really hard.
Word Count: 4.6k
Masterlist
You were just about to leave the booth, only to pause at the sight of a black notebook waiting on the seat. You recognized it at Fushiguro's journal, and when you flipped the cover to see the name written on the inside your suspicions were proved to be correct.
"Hey, Fushiguro forgot his notebook," you said to Itadori and Kugisaki. They both looked away from whatever they were doing, eyeing the notebook in your hands. "Do you guys remember where he said he was going?"
"Uhh, I don't think he actually said where he was going," Itadori said. "If we don't run into him in the school hallways, then we can just leave it in his room."
"Or." Kugisaki drew out the word, sidling up next to you. "We could take a little look inside. See what kind of a person Fushiguro really is."
"Isn't that an invasion of privacy?" Itadori asked.
"Not if he doesn't know."
"I don't think that's how that works," you pointed out.
"Come on, it'd just be a little peek. Besides, he's most likely a really boring person. He probably takes notes on techniques and how he can improve himself. If anything, this will be a learning experience for us if we decide to look through it.”
Kugisaki was right, there was nothing embarrassing in there. You know because you asked one day when he seemed especially invested in his journal. He showed you pages full of notes for different classes and a couple small doodles in the corner. Despite knowing this, you still didn’t want to look through it because you didn’t want to invade his personal belongings.
You shook your head, holding it out to Itadori. “No, I still don’t want to look through it.”
Kugisaki shrugged, taking it from Itadori’s hand and sitting back down in the booth the three of you had just left. She opened it, flipping past the first page, the one with Fushiguro’s name on it. “Okay. Then I’ll look through it and you two can just so happen to look through my shoulder.”
Damn loopholes, you thought. In all honesty, you were curious about what Fushiguro had added since you last saw the contents of the journal.
Despite your better judgement, you sat down beside Kugisaki.
It was just as you had expected, notes about Fushiguro’s classes for a good chunk of the journal. When Kugisaki got tired of staring at Fushiguro’s neat handwriting, she let out a breath and closed it, opening it again to a random page.
More writing, but this page was accompanied by a portrait that looked eerily familiar. The name of the person drawn was on the top of your tongue when Itadori suddenly said something.
”Hey, that kinda looks like Y/n, don’t you think?”
You were way off. You were going to say it looked like a fictional character you had told Fushiguro about a while ago.
”Oh my gosh, this is a letter!” Kugisaki exclaimed. “Hold on it starts in the middle of it on this page.”
Kugisaki flipped back a couple pages, finding that the letter was longer than anticipated. She found the beginning, a grand three pages front and back away from the drawing, and started quietly reading.
”’Y/n, I doubt I’ll ever give this to you or say anything about this, but just know that this is for you.’ Holy shit is this a love letter?”
”Wow.” Itadori stared at the page in awe. “I didn’t think he’d actually write it.” He took the book from Kugisaki’s grasp, flipping through a couple pages.
”You knew about this and didn’t think to tell me?” Kugisaki yelled. She was shushed by a nearby waiter, and she quieted down.
”Fushiguro asked me not to tell anyone, so I didn’t.” Itadori shrugged. “He told me forever ago about this, said he wanted to give it to you when he finished it, but I guess he never did because look at the date.”
He pointed to the corner of the page, where the written date was almost exactly four months ago.
”Damn,” Kugisaki said. “He must have been super inspired about something to write this. Listen, he quoted a couple books. ‘You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.’ God damn, he really used that Pride and Prejudice quote.”
Itadori continued flipping through the pages, now laying the notebook flat on the table for the three of them to see it.
there were multiple pages filled with drawings of you. The pages filled with notes from class were almost completely gone, being replaced by your portraits and short writings accompanied by this reminded me of them to the side.
You stared as they continued flipping through the pages, watching as the drawings improved. The last one was of your side profile, laughing as you held a straw to your lips, about to drink from it. You realized it was from today, and softly ran your fingers over the drawing.
So that’s what he was doing this whole time.
Since that was the last page with anything on it, Itadori closed it and slid it across the table back to you. You didn’t move to touch it, only continued to stare at it.
”Y/n? You okay there?”
You nodded in the general direction of Itadori, moving your hand to grab the black journal. “Yeah. Uh, I’ll take this back to Fushiguro, if you don’t mind. I know you two are busy later anyways.”
Neither of them objected. You assumed this was a situation where they both knew something you didn’t and were most likely over the moon that Fushiguro was finally going somewhere.
You may not be the smartest, but you could definitely piece things together when you’re given enough. You were still unsure, though, so you didn’t want to confront him about it right away.
—
Your knuckles rapped against the wood of Fushiguro’s door, and you gently tapped your fingers against the surface of the black notebook in your hands as you waited for him to answer.
The noise of the door unlocking and opening threw you off guard. It was such a stark contrast to the quiet hallway, and your thoughts had drifted elsewhere completely.
You noticed that Fushiguro stood a little bit straighter when he saw it was you. You briefly wondered if he always did that, or if he only did it for you.
You pushed the thought from your mind not wanting to think about it now.
You took in what he was wearing—gray sweatpants and a black sweater. He looked like he was about to go to bed. It was still early, but you couldn’t blame him. Despite them being your best friends, hanging out with Kugisaki and Itadori could get tiring.
”Uhm, you left this at the booth earlier,” you awkwardly said, holding out the journal to him. “I wanted to bring it back.”
He gently took it from your grasp. “Thanks.”
He didn’t close the door. Instead, he tossed the book to his bed and stepped further outside his room, leaning against the doorframe.
”Where else did you guys go? After I left, I mean,” he said.
”Oh, we just kind of walked around Tokyo for a bit,” you replied. You hid your hands behind your back, playing with your fingers. “We went into a bookstore but didn’t buy anything. We kind of lost Kugisaki and Itadori was summoned by Gojo.”
Fushiguro nodded thoughtfully, putting his hands in his pockets.
You wanted to ask about the drawings in the journal before he continued talking, but you weren’t sure how to bring it up without making it blatantly obvious that you had gone through it. You decided to take a shot, letting your inner self decide what you said.
”Uhm, it fell and I saw some of your drawings,” you said. “Your notebook, I mean. They were really good. I didn’t know you liked doing that.”
Fushiguro’s eyes widened for a brief moment before he returned to his usual stoic expression. His face changed so fast you almost didn’t notice it, but the way he brought his hand up to scratch the side of his neck—one of his nervous ticks you had noticed—told you everything.
”Yeah, I picked it up a few months ago,” he replied. “I do it sometimes at the end of the day to wind down. It helps me relax.”
You nodded. You weren’t sure how to continue the conversation, but you still wanted to know if your suspicion about why he drew you so much was correct.
”Oh, that’s cool. Itadori saw the drawing and said it looked like me,” you decided to say.
”Did he now?” You had caught him with his pants down. He reached up to gently scratch his neck again. “Well, it might have been you. I draw you sometimes for practice. You have a pretty face for that.”
He paused at his own words, crossing his legs at the ankles. He hoped you didn’t notice his wording.
You did. And this time you were the one caught off guard.
”Thank you,” you said. “If that was a compliment. Thanks for saying I have a pretty face.”
He nodded once. “Yeah.”
Awkward silence ensued again. You weren’t sure how much longer you could beat around the bush for. This same routine had randomly started one day and continued almost daily for months. It was annoying, and you wanted it to end.
So you decided to take a leap of faith.
“Uhm, I actually brought that up because I think I know something, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions.”
An indirect leap of faith, but a leap of faith nonetheless.
Fushiguro was listening to you, you could tell because he was looking directly at you, into your eyes. It made you nervous, and you almost brushed off what you were about to say and walked away.
“So, I wanted to tell you my feelings first. And then you could decide how you feel about them. If you want to, that is.”
“Yeah, of course. Do you wanna come inside?” He motioned towards his room. “To get more comfortable, if you want.”
You nodded, following him in. “Sure.”
He gently closed the door behind you, leaving it open a crack before sitting on the bed with you. It was silent for a few moments before he motioned for you to speak.
You took a breath. “So, I’ve been debating telling you this for a while, I just haven’t. But with Kugisaki and Itadori earlier I decided that I should.” You paused for a moment, putting together the next sentence in your head before you said it. “I kind of like you. Like a lot.” You paused again, deciding that was all you needed to say and shrugging with your hands.
You seemed a lot cooler with this confession that you though you would be. You thought you would be a stuttering mess, trying to beat around the bush so much you wouldn’t even know what you were saying. But you didn’t, instead you feigned outward calmness, but you could feel your heart pounding violently against your chest.
Fushiguro’s eyebrows raised as he took in the information.
The action worried you, because he didn’t move for a few moments after that. You sat, waiting for his response. You almost apologized and excused yourself from his room, meaning to hide in your dorm for a couple days until you would be able to face him again, before he gave you a small smile. He stood up, sauntering over to his dresser and opening the top drawer.
When he closed it and turned around, he revealed a square of white paper and held it out to you. You took it, realizing it was an envelope.
“Open it.”
You did as Fushiguro said while he moved across the room, this time opening the bottom drawer of his desk and pulling out a stack of papers along with a small notebook.
You took the paper out of the envelope as he continued what he was doing, opening the folded sheet.
It was a letter. Addressed to you.
You started reading. It had a similar structure as the one you read from his journal earlier, using some of the same wordings and comparisons.
Fushiguro assumed his previous spot on the bed next to you, setting the papers and notebook down beside him. He watched intently as you read the letter, not saying a word as he took in your reaction to his written words.
You were speechless reading it. You didn’t know he could be so wordy and poetic. He never said much. You assumed that he was just a quiet person that didn’t have much to say. Someone that liked observing more than contributing to conversations.
Your assumptions were mostly correct. Except you didn’t realize he noticed or had this much to say. It shocked you, and you weren’t sure what kind of response would match his words.
You were genuinely shocked that he shared the same feelings. You assumed that the dry conversations between the two of you had started because he found out about you liking him. You thought he found that awkward.
But this letter, an explanation for all those awkward moments between the two of you.
Apparently he thought the same thing you did.
Your eyes quickly drifted over the words when you finished. You truly didn’t know what to say, and figured at least trying to form a response in your head would be best.
Your mind drew a blank on what to say. But you had to say something. You would see Fushiguro getting anxious for your response.
When you looked up to meet Fushiguro’s gaze, he was staring at you. You smiled at him, deciding to speak truthfully about what was going through your head.
“I don’t know what to say,” you whispered. “This is the most beautiful writing I’ve ever read. Do you really mean everything?”
“Every single word,” he responded. He handed you a piece of notebook paper from the top of the pile he had brought over. “This was my first drawing of you. I just did it without thought one day and continued. You’re really the only thing I draw.”
You gently took the paper from his grasp, looking it over, admiring the graphite lines, imagining the way his eyes might have followed his pencil, focused.
“Are all of these . . .” You motioned towards the stack of papers beside you, and Fushiguro nodded before you finished your question. “Wow . . .”
You were in awe, returning your gaze to the piece of notebook paper before looking at a couple more.
Fushiguro gently took the paper you held from your hand, putting it aside and taking both of your hands in his. He reached for your jaw, softly redirecting the way your head was turned so you looked directly into his eyes.
“I’ve liked you for a long time, Y/n. I want to be more than friends.” There was a small amount of fear in his eyes. He was terrified you would reject him, despite already knowing how you felt.
Your eyes were wide, your mouth slightly agape. He hadn’t even said anything monumentally heart-wrenching, but just the sound of his voice could leave you speechless.
“Do you really want that?” You quietly asked.
He nodded with complete confidence in his answer. “I do.”
You couldn’t help the smile that overcame your features as you gently squeezed his hand. “Okay. I want that too.”
He didn’t kiss you, and you didn’t kiss him. Not yet. It wasn’t the right moment, and he wanted it to be perfect. So he didn’t kiss you, even though he desperately wanted to. Wanted nothing more than to feel your lips against his, to run his hands through your hair.
Not yet, he told himself. He could wait just a little bit longer.
—
You and Fushiguro (you’re proud to call him Megumi now, even though you still get flustered when you say his name) had been dating for weeks. By now, the news of your relationship had spread to the other first years, who spent a short amount of time exchanging money before congratulating and bombarding the two of you with questions.
Tonight was the first night the two of you had alone since you had gotten together. Itadori and Kugisaki were out, and Gojo was currently over seas for a mission. You and your boyfriend spent the night in the middle of the training field on a couple blankets, snuggling as you stargazed. Though, you weren’t doing much stargazing, instead talking while he showed you his most recent portrait of you.
You were asleep in the drawing, your arm resting under your head as you gripped the blanket in your hands. You were embarrassed he had caught such a moment. He interlocked his pinky with yours, moving your hands from your face as he told you it was cute.
He left a soft kiss on your knuckle, pulling you to sit up with him as he grabbed his journal.
“Can you look at the sky for me?” he asked.
You obliged with a smile on your face, looking at the sky as you began counting stars.
Fushiguro had recently become more open when drawing you. He had asked you to pose for him more, occasionally gently nudging you into the exact position he wanted. He even sometimes did so in front of Itadori and Kugisaki without shame.
You listened as his pencil rubbed against the paper, enjoying the sound. You snuck a glance at him, turning your head to watch as his eyes followed his pencil along the page. Eventually he looked up at you, smiling before he put his hand under your chin, redirecting your gaze.
You apologized with a light chuckle. He continued his drawing, the sounds of his pencil returning. “You’re just so pretty when you draw,” you said.
You heard his pencil suddenly stop. You turned to look at him to find that he was already staring intently at you.
You peeked at the drawing in his notebook, noticing the vague background. “Oh, are you adding a background to this one?”
He moved his gaze to his lap. “Yeah, I like drawing you at night. The sky reminds me of you.”
“How so?”
He took your hand in his, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles. “Well, I realized that you weren’t the sun in my sky.” You raised your eyebrows at him. “I say that because I’ve only ever squinted angrily at the sun. I don’t do that with you. No, I stare at you in wonder and look away when you meet my eyes. I smile when I see you and watch your every action in awe of what you do. I want you to always be present. To be there to help me calm down because just seeing you lifts weight off my shoulders when I’m stressed. Before I met you it was the night sky that did that. It was the night sky that I wished would stay, that I wanted to see to help calm me down.”
Megumi Fushiguro was the only person in the world that could make you speechless, not knowing how to react. And he didn’t even know he was the only person that held this power.
You could feel your eyes burning with tears. He’s constantly moving the bar higher, constantly speaking his mind around you in the most beautiful, poetic way imaginable, constantly taking you by surprise with his words.
You feel bad for never having anything to say in response to him, but he understands how you feel. You usually find yourself replying to him with a tight hug, squeezing him as though if you let go he would disappear.
But tonight, you truly didn’t know what to do.
Watching as your hand moves to cover your mouth, your hand lightly squeezing his own, something in his brain decides that now is the right time. Now is the best time.
He takes a leap, moving his hand to cup your jaw as he gazes into your eyes. His eyes briefly flicker to your lips before he’s slowly leaning in, giving you a chance to reject him if you want.
You don’t reject him. You let him kiss you, freezing as his soft lips met yours. Your eyes were closed, but you didn’t know what to do.
He pulled away, a faint smile painting his lips. “You have to kiss me back, dummy.”
“Sorry,” you apologized. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
He hummed, leaning forward ever so slightly, his lips ghosting yours. “It’s okay.” He kisses you again. This time you kiss back, moving your hand to grip his bicep as if to pull him closer to you.
When you momentarily break the kiss he chases your lips, making you chuckle into the kiss.
“Megumi,” you whispered. He hummed, trying to reach your lips again, making you smile brightly. “Gumi, give me a second.”
He stopped, still holding your hand. “What happened?” Worry was laced in his voice, scared he had done something wrong.
“Nothing, just give me a second.”
You grabbed the notebook from his lap, moving the ribbon to mark the page he was drawing on, closing it and moving it to the side as you shifted closer to him, practically sitting in his lap. He tentatively placed his hands on your waist as you kissed him again, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to try and bring him even closer.
When the kiss broke, this time neither of you moving to kiss the other again, your foreheads rested together as you simply basked in each other’s presence.
He felt the overwhelming urge to say it, something he had been thinking about for a long time. He’s not sure what took possession of him, but the words, “I love you,” were slipping out of his mouth before he could even process it.
Your eyes snapped open, and you pulled away from him just a little bit. He did as well, bringing a hand to cover his face as he began apologizing profusely, saying that he didn’t mean to say that.
The smile that was slowly growing on your face fell. You knew that sometimes his thoughts got jumbled together, making it somewhat difficult to voice them. This had to be one of those situations, but hearing him say he didn’t mean it made your heart crack.
He seemed to realize his words, because he cut himself off, going into another tangent.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I do mean that, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he admitted. “I don’t want to force you to jump into things too early. If you don’t feel the same way then don’t say it back. Tell me and I won’t say it again until you want me to, I promise.”
His words pulled at your heartstrings. All he wanted was to make sure you were comfortable with the relationship, but in the process he disregards his own feelings. It hurt you. You wanted him to be open, to allow himself to be vulnerable around you, even if it was just for a few minutes.
“Megumi, I want you to share your thoughts with me. It doesn’t matter what it is, if you want to tell me something then tell me. You won’t make me uncomfortable, I promise.” You leaned forward again, capturing him between your arms and squeezing him. “Because I love you, too. I have for a while. I want you to be comfortable with me. I want to be someone you can talk to, your rock. Please share things with me.”
You felt him wrap his arms around you, squeezing you with just as much force as you were. He rested his head in the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath. He loved the way you smelled—lavender, curtesy of the products Kugisaki had bought you for your birthday.
“I know your trying,” you said into his shoulder, “and I love that you’re letting your walls down for me. I’ll wait for you to open up for me, I don’t care how long it takes. I want to know everything about you, I want to love everything about you. Take as long as you need, I’ll still be here. I promise.”
The two of you stayed in your embrace. You felt your heart pounding in your ears as you awaited his reply, hoping you didn’t take it too far.
He gently kissed your collarbone, knocking both of you over so you laid on the blanket. You quietly yelped upon impact, not expecting the action.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. You smiled, readjusting your position so you faced him. You wrapped your arms around him, running your hands through his black hair.
“You smell so good,” he said suddenly, making you laugh. “I love the way you smell.”
You thanked him, feeling your eyes droop. You snapped them open, hoping to stay awake just a little longer, hoping you would be able to spend just a few more seconds with Fushiguro in this moment.
Alas, you fell asleep, but not before you quietly said, “I love you, Megumi,” into his hair.
He smiled at your words, repeating them before he realized you were already fast asleep. He grabbed a blanket from nearby, throwing it over the two of you as he admired your sleeping face before he dozed off as well.
—
You awoke the next morning to a blinding light being shone in your face, followed by the shutter of a camera. You groaned, opening your eyes and yawning before seeing what was happening.
It was no surprise when you saw Gojo, accompanied by Kugisaki and Itadori, standing above you and your still sleeping boyfriend.
“Oops, I forgot to turn off flash,” Gojo said.
You rolled your eyes before closing them again, resuming your previous sleeping position and closing your eyes. “Leave us alone,” you muttered.
You felt Fushiguro stir next to you, assuming he was awake when he let out an exasperated breath.
“See, we would leave you alone. However the second years need to train and you two love bugs are lying in the middle of the field.”
You groaned, forcing yourself to sit up along with Fushiguro. You shooed the other three away as you started picking up your things with your boyfriend, stacking the blankets and taking them from Fushiguro’s grasp as you stood. He followed suit, and the two of you ignored your classmates and teacher as you walked towards the dorms.
“We don’t have anything to do today, right?” you asked.
Fushiguro nodded. “It’s just a day off.”
You hummed in acknowledgment. “I think I’m just gonna go back to sleep, then.”
Fushiguro took hold of one of your hands, the one that wasn’t carrying the blankets. “Do you mind if I join you?”
You let out a fake, exaggerated gasp. “A boy in my dorm? How scandalous, don’t you think?” He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “Of course you can. I’d love it if you did.”
He smiled at you, continuing the walk to your dorm. Upon entering, you plopped the blankets down in a random area o the floor, continuing to drag Fushiguro onto the bed and under your covers.
“Sorry, it’s kind of a mess,” you said as the two of you readjusted yourselves. “I’m normally the only one that comes in here.”
“It’s fine,” he whispered, kissing the crown of your head. “Just go to sleep.”
You nodded against his shoulder. “I love you.”
He smiled into your hair. “I love you, too.”
And the two of you would continue saying that. At every chance you got. You would never allow the other to forget that fact for as long as you lived.
This was a late birthday present for one of my friends. Anyways as i was writing I was seriously debating turning the fic in a different direction and going down an angst route. I don’t know I might add a part two to this or something because I do have ideas.
Idk what do y’all think?
Also this was copy and pasted from my notes app so I apologize if it doesn’t look right 💀
#fanfic#writing#megumi x you#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fluff#jjk megumi#jjk x y/n#megumi x y/n#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi x reader#megumi fluff#izzy’s imagines ❀
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False Alarm | Robin Buckley x Reader
Masterlist | R.B Masterlist
Words: 1.7k
Summary: College fire alarms with Robin. Fluff ensues.
✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
Aside from being thrown into the adult world, having to suddenly buy your own groceries, the workload that could cover mountains, and the burnout that consequently leads to stomping on your passions, the worst part of college is the fire alarms in dorm buildings.
They were incessant.
After a tiring day of learning about the inner most workings of cells, and hating yourself for choosing a degree that requires you to study the inner most workings of cells, all you wanted to do was get back to your dorm, hang out with Robin (your lovely girlfriend), have dinner, do some last minute studying that you promised you would do earlier, and then sleep. Uninterrupted sleep, that is.
But alas, the universe does not work in such ways when living on campus. In a time where sleep is crucial, it likes to rip it out of your grasp and leave you crying like a child whose mother just took their lollipop away.
The first part of your night was successful. After finishing your class you headed back to your room, only to find Robin sitting against your door. Her class had finished early, so she immediately headed over to see you, only she forgot that you also had an afternoon class.
But she stayed for you. Her face lit up when you rounded the corner, standing up quickly she attempted to run the short distance to you to engulf you in a hug. Though she hadn't anticipated the numbness of her legs after sitting on the rough carpeted floor for half an hour, so she stumbled the entire way.
Catching her from under the armpits you laughed at her, earning a scoff and a headshake before all was forgotten and she stood up straight to wrap her arms around you, your face smushed into her shoulder. "I missed you", she smiled, twisting her torso from side to side as she kept her grip on you.
The movement was comforting, and you felt all the tension in your bones seep away into the air. "Come on Buckley, time to go inside". She pouted as you pulled away, but at hearing your chuckles she smiled and allowed herself to be yanked into your room and thrown onto your bed for a post-classes nap together.
The nap lasted a lot longer than it should have, as the two of you forgot to set an alarm. Rookie mistake.
You awoke peacefully, a small yawn escaping your lips as the warmth hugged your body. Your eyes fluttered shut again as you nuzzled closer to Robin, clutching onto her shirt as if that had the ability to bring you closer to her.
Then you realised something.
Your room had been dark when your eyes opened briefly.
So, they shot open and rapidly looked around, though your head remained still to not wake up Robin in case it had been a false alarm.
It was not a false alarm, it was pitch black aside from the slight illumination from a street light nearby. "Shit, shit, shit", you hissed and sat up, wincing at how you jostled Robin considering she had been the big spoon for that nap.
"What in God's name did I do to deserve this", she whined and flopped back onto the mattress as she attempted to bury her head into the pillow.
"It's fucking night time, Robs!", you gestured around the room, almost flinging yourself off of the bed whilst doing so, not that she noticed as her eyes were closed. Though after you were done thrashing, she slowly opened the eye that was not against the pillow, before swiftly sitting up herself. You were surprised that she didn't get whiplash.
"Holy shit, we have so much work to do", she began panicking. You tried not to laugh at how one side of her hair was defying gravity. The bedhead this woman got was unfathomable.
"Yeah", you breathed out, staring wide-eyed at the clock on your wall that was visible thanks to the street lamp. It read 10pm, and man, did you two have a lot to get done before your morning classes, as well as eating something that would sustain you during the late night, "I love you hun, but I need to kick you out because let's be honest, neither of us properly focus whenever we study together".
Robin nodded and then proceeded to shake her hair like a dog, somehow it was effective in removing the bird's nest from the side of her head. "Make sure you eat, okay?", she pecked you on the lips before grabbing her backpack and running towards the door, tripping over your shoes thanks to the light still being off.
She flicked it on, both of you wincing from the harsh light attacking your eyeballs, "See you tomorrow. I love you", you moved to give her one last quick hug.
"I love you too", she spoke into your hairline, placing a few kisses there for good measure.
---
The rest of your evening had been a mad rush. Quickly you boiled up some water for a cup of noodles, the staple of a student's diet, and munched on them whilst working on the prep work that you had to complete before your first morning class that started at 8:30am, as well as trying to make good headway on the main body of an essay that would be due soon.
Thanks to procrastination and the joint habit with Robin of hanging out to study, when in actuality you would lay out your notebooks and textbooks, and end up chatting all evening, you had a lot of work to do. Who could blame you, she was your favourite person to talk to.
Though it did mean a lot of late nights where you both had to pretend that the other didn't exist just to catch up on work that had been piling up.
This unfortunately meant that you had ended up going to sleep at 4, giving you 3 hours of sleep before you had to wake up.
Honestly, you've had a lot less so you were going to take the 3 hours.
However, the universe was against you and your girlfriend getting a good night's sleep, and it allowed the fire alarm in your building to go off at the ungodly hour of 5am.
Upon hearing the blaring sound and seeing the red light flashing through your eyelids you let out a scream that couldn't be heard by anyone else in the building. Because of the excessive screeching sound booming through the building.
Knowing that it would just be some sort of false alarm, or someone burning toast, you took your sweet time in getting out of bed. With a yawn and a stretch you swung your legs over and put your feet into your slippers before standing and grabbing your hoodie.
Your feet padded across the floor as you lazily flung your door open and stepped out into the hallway, your vision blurry from moving into a light space. You still felt incredibly sleepy, which was obvious, it was 5am after all.
A fellow student sprinting past you and shoving your shoulder in the process woke you up slightly, but you were too tired to do anything about it so just grumbled as you walked down the stairs, not realising that nearly everyone but you was out of the building by now.
You were blissfully unaware as you made your journey down to the courtyard to stand outside in the cold for half an hour when there was likely no real danger, before having to try and get back to sleep before your alarm went off again.
It was something that you experienced a few times a month minimum, you knew the drill.
At reaching the outside world you shivered and wrapped your hoodie tighter around your torso, trying your best to create a barrier between you and the breeze that seemed to carry icicles with it.
Your slipper-clad feet plodded along the ground, aimlessly walking away from the building and away from the crowds of people who were for some reason relatively awake. Thanks to your sleepy state you didn't even notice someone calling your name, never mind how it should be familiar to you.
"Oh thank God!". You definitely heard that as the person was right in front of you, and had now wrapped their arms around you in a tight hold, you couldn't even move your arms as they were against their chest. Immediately your entire body tensed up, your muscles taut and your eyes wide open. "Jeez, I was so worried about you". You sighed in relief, it was just Robin.
Relaxing into her hold you took her words into consideration, "Why?".
"What do you mean 'why?'", she gently pushed you away by your shoulders to be able to speak to you properly, and suddenly you missed the warmth. She had the smart idea to bring a blanket with her, wrapped around her body. You were not so smart. "I was worried because usually you meet me by the little tree within a few minutes of the alarm going off, but it had been 7 minutes and you still hadn't come down, I thought you were in trouble somewhere in there I looked everywhere out here for you".
Her eyes softened at seeing you rub your tired eyes, "I'm sorry, I was just struggling to wake up tonight so it took me forever to get down, I didn't mean to worry you".
"I know", she pulled you back into her hold, taking the time to wrap the blanket around you as well this time, "Next time I'm coming to collect you from your room". Anyone else would think this was a joke, but you knew that Robin was very serious. She worried about you a lot.
You chuckled as you tried to fight your eyelids from closing. Even when standing and with an alarm blaring in the background, Robin was comfortable to lean on, and the blanket providing you with so much warmth was sending you off into a daze within seconds.
"So, did you get much work done tonight?", Robin tried to start a conversation but frowned when there was no response. Looking down she saw your mouth agape ever so slightly and your eyes shut with your head using her as a pillow.
Her eyes sparkled as she looked at you, and she couldn't help the grin that overtook her features. She hugged you tighter to shield you from the cold morning air, silently praying that the residential managers would turn the alarm off soon.
✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
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#wlw#robin buckley x fem!reader#robin buckley fluff#robin x reader#robin buckley#robin buckley x reader#robin buckley x female reader#college au
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Replaced Feelings
Pairings : Neteyam(18) x reader, Lo’ak(17) x reader, Neteyam x oc
Warnings : unrequited love..?, angst, fluff, happy ending
word count : 12.3k
a/n : Originally I was going to post this like a day or two ago but it came out much longer than I had anticipated so editing took forever. Was also going to have a depressing ending for this but decided against it so you’re welcome. It is also safe to say that I don’t like this work. I feel like some parts are rushed and some dragged out for too long but oh well.
You and Neteyam have known each other since you were just small infants. Mothers being close friends, basically sisters. Always attached to the hip, playing with each other, even fighting over small toys. Not that the fights were serious, mostly bickering with each other. Doing everything together through thick and thin, not even batting an eye.
“Pasuk! We shouldn’t be doing this. Our mothers will kill us if they find out were sneaking out to the forest”
Pasuk, a nickname Neteyam gave you because in his words “you are as sweet as a berry” and you loved it.
“Ah don’t be such a prrnen teyam. We will only be gone for a couple minutes''
Laughing, you start running into the forest, only for Neteyam to roll his eyes and follow you. He wonders why you had insisted that he had to come immediately even risking your ears getting talked off by your mothers. He continues following you though lagging behind as you were quite fast.
“Hurry up you slowpoke!”
“I'm trying! Not my fault you are weirdly fast”
You squint your eyes at him sticking your tongue out. He does it back while trying to catch up to you. Suddenly you stop making Neteyam smack right into your back, resulting in you both falling to the ground.
“OW why did you stop? Made me smack my nose into your back you skxawng!”
“Oh shush, this is what I wanted to show youuu”
Hearing the excitement in your voice, he finally looks up seeing a beautiful clear pond. The pond was so clear you could see all the little creatures swimming in it especially with the bioluminescent plants surrounding it.
“Woah”
Neteyam looked around with a wide smile and wonder in his eyes. You couldn’t help but stare at him because for you, his opinion mattered. He meets your eyes and starts talking about how amazing the area is.
“This is so cool! This can be our hideaway”
You glimmer at the idea of having a place that only you and Neteyam knew. Next thing you know, you and Neteyam start to point and make ideas of how they could make this place theirs and theirs only.
_
The next few years, your relationship grew closer than ever. Though with Neteyam training as the next Olo’eyktan, you don’t see each other as often as you wished you did. Throughout the years you also couldn’t help but develop feelings for your friend. You admired everything about him. The way his hair swings, his gentle, kind eyes when talking with you, his smile and laughter all caused by you.
Never have you acted on those feelings. Afraid that it would not be reciprocated and end up hurt. Always having to push those feelings down like it was bile coming up from your throat. With these thoughts whirling through your head while sitting in your secluded spot, you didn’t notice the rustling coming from behind you.
Neteyam had just finished his daily duties, now tired just wanting to talk to someone. That someone would be you, the only person that could cheer him up. All his life, you were the one who would truly understand what he was feeling. Sometimes you wouldn’t always understand but you provided him words of comfort. Those words are enough for him because he knows you are true to your words. Seeing you sitting there gave him the idea to scare you. Knowing that you’re probably daydreaming, he took the chance to slowly creep up behind you and jump.
“RAH”
“AH HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK TEYAM”
He doubled over laughing seeing how you reacted. You smacked his arm since he scared the living daylights out of you. Eventually you laugh along with him. Moments like these bring you much happiness.
“Why did you do that!?”
“Well I saw you daydreaming like always and saw it as an opportunity to scare you. You seriously need to stop doing that before you end up getting eaten by a palulukan”
Still laughing, both of you started fighting playfully. Flipping each other over, running around trying to catch each other. Neteyam loved moments like these, it gives him the time to feel like a child again. The feeling of being free.
Panting out of breath from constantly running, you both plop onto the soft grass beneath. Staring into the dark sky and looking at the stars. Finally asking Neteyam about his day.
“How was training and doing your mighty Olo’eyktan duties” teasingly asking, Neteyam sighs
“The usual, more of dad nagging at me and having to take on Lo’aks mistakes AGAIN”
You chuckle softly, knowing how Neteyam and Lo’ak get when he makes mistakes. Lo’ak only being a year younger, you had also formed a good friendship with him.
“You know, you don’t have to keep taking the blame for Lo’ak, at some point he will have to take the blame himself.”
“What kind of brother would I be if I didn’t”
You shrug not really knowing how to answer as you are an only child.
“You would still be a good one in my eyes”
He found solace in your words. He turns to you giving you a soft smile, a smile that makes your stomach churn.
“I think it is best we start heading back now before they set the alarms for a missing son”
You smiled widely while he rolled his eyes at you. Standing up and giving each other a tight embrace before bidding each other goodnight. Now parting ways, you enter your space greeting your mother.
“Out a bit late weren’t we?”
Giving you a knowing look, cheeks heating up and denying her unsaid claims quickly.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about sa’nok”
“Mhm if you say so”
Your mother always knew that you had feelings for the young boy. She could only worry, as it seemed as though the boy didn’t see you the same way you saw him. She could only pray that nothing bad would happen to you.
_
Neteyam now returning, he sees that Lo’ak is still awake. No surprise there really, he always tends to stay up later than the rest. Though Lo’ak was surprised that Neteyam came this late, it is unusual for him to see his perfect brother out during this time.
“What are you doing out so late? I had to cover for your ass since you didn’t come back.”
“That is none of your business little brother”
Lo’ak squints his eyes at him. The only reasons that Neteyam would be out breaking rules would have to be because of another. But even that seemed like unusual behaviour from his brother.
“You were with someone weren’t you?”
“What makes you say that”
“You seem a bit too happy especially after training and such”
“Still do not know why you want to know”
A brief pause between them as Lo’ak realises who he was with. Ears now pulled back, jealousy visible. Of course, the only person he would break rules with.
“You were with y/n weren’t you?”
Neteyam is now confused as to why Lo’ak seems irritated with his own words.
“Why does that matter? So what if I was with y/n, she is my closest friend”
Hearing those words “friend” makes him even more irritated. Ever since you guys had gotten close, he’s seen the looks you send to Neteyam. Eyes full of love and admiration, just watching it pains him. Envious, he bumps into his brother's shoulder wanting to go for a calming flight with his Ikran before he lets his feelings get out of hand.
“Whatever, I’ll be back late”
Neteyam watches his brother leave, still unsure what he had done to make his brother mad.
You had been tossing and turning unable to sleep. Deciding that a late night flight may help. Walking to where your Ikran is resting you spot Lo’ak seemingly with the same plans as you.
“Lo’ak!” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb any clan members. Ears perking, spinning to the sound of your voice.
“y/n? Why are you here?” The question comes off a bit rude instead of curious.
“What, I can't have late night flights either? Feels like you don’t want me here”
You had only wanted that sentence to come off as a joke, but Lo’ak got flustered trying to rephrase what he had said.
“NO… I mean no no I didn’t mean it like that, I- I uh just meant you know I don’t see you up here often during this hour and you know I was just wondering why you were up here”
His rambling made you laugh. He looked at you, he felt relief knowing that you were just joking. He nudges your shoulder airly as you're laughing.
“Hey its not funny”
“You’re right sorry” Holding in more of your laughter, but you couldn’t and started laughing harder making your stomach and cheeks hurt.
“Haha it must be so funny laughing at me huh. Just tell me why you are here, you never answered me”
“S-sorry, it’s just your face, it was too funny not to laugh at. Though to answer your question, I couldn’t sleep”
Upon hearing that, Lo’ak plucked some courage to ask you if you wanted to join him since it seemed as though you were going to take a flight as well. You agree much to his relief. He was a nervous wreck inside as you guys never had much one on one time with each other. Most time spent together was with his other siblings. Now having you to himself for once, his heart could not calm down. Gliding through the air together, Lo’ak has yet to talk to you since taking off. Lost in thought and you had noticed.
“Lo’ak!”
You shout while pointing towards one of the floating mountains signalling that you wanted to land. Mounting off your Ikran and Lo’ak following behind you. You find a nice patch of grass to sit on and pat the spot next to you. He takes a seat and wonders why you wanted to land.
“It seems as though you have something bothering you Lo’ak. You can tell me, I promise I won’t tell anyone”
Softly smiling at him, he decided to speak his mind.
“Do, do you like Neteyam?”
He wanted to know a solid answer even if he suspected how you felt. He wanted to hear it from you. In no way did you expect this question. You looked at him with wide eyes, cheeks heating up again. Silence for a solid minute before you thought it was okay to speak.
“I do… a lot. But it is not like he returns those feelings. There are plenty of woman who are much better than me who are fit for teyam”
“You must be insane”
Turning to Lo’ak with a stunned look. Waiting for him to explain what he had meant by that. As for Lo’ak, he could not believe what he had just heard. First you confirmed your feelings for Neteyam but that went over his head as you mentioned how you felt that you were less than others.
“You are way better than many women in our clan, and so what if a few may excel in some things. You are perfect the way you are, any man in the clan would be extremely lucky to have you. Even Neteyam”
Saying his brother's name pained him, but you being happy was his top priority even if it meant you liking Neteyam.
“If I hear you bringing yourself down, I may just have to knock some sense into you. Like it’d be crazy if anyone denied that you were beautiful”
That last sentence slipped out of his mouth. He quickly looked down, a bit embarrassed that he had blurted that out. You on the other hand were at a loss of words. The only times you’ve been called beautiful were from your mother. Not even Neteyam has called you beautiful, only sweet. Knowing that someone feels as if you are worth something has tears gathering in your eyes.
“You think I'm beautiful?”
Lo’ak slowly brings his head up, making eye contact with you giving you the most sincere face. Playing with his fingers he opens his mouth.
“Of course… you’d have to be stupid to not think that”
He mumbles but you catch everything. You bring him into a tight hug knocking the air out of him. Lo’ak was stunned by the sudden embrace but slowly brought his arms up to hug back with a small squeeze. Never did you think that you’d be having this intimate moment with the younger brother but it felt right. Breaking the hug giving Lo’ak a final pat on the head. Lo’aks tail swishing back and forth with a faint purple hue on his cheeks. He couldn’t help but feel gleeful having a special moment like that with you.
Flying back you guys stole glances at each other and bumping Ikrans with loud shouts and light-hearted laughs. Unfortunately for Lo’ak, the night had come to an end when sending you off back home. Both now asleep with content smiles on their faces.
_
Feeling refreshed from the night before you go in search of Neteyam knowing that today was one of his off days. During these types of days, you and Neteyam would always take a stroll around the forest finally ending up at the hideaway. Walking through the village, greeting passing members of the clan, you finally spot Neteyam on training grounds.
“Teyam! I thought today you were free?”
Neteyam, startled by your sudden appearance, shot the arrow and missed his target. He sighs.
“Sorry Pasuk, I wanted to train a bit this morning just to enhance my skills a bit more”
Looking at you with apologetic eyes.
“Do you know when you will be finished then?”
Asking a bit eagerly as it’s been a while hanging out during the daytime. Even if you saw him last night, you missed him.
“I do not think I will be any longer. You can wait if you’d like but I can’t assure you that I will be of any entertainment”
Chuckling softly, telling him that it is okay and that you don’t mind waiting at all. If it was Neteyam you could wait an eternity for him. You sat down, a small distance away from him just admiring him. During these times you couldn’t help but just stare, his perfect stance, his focused face. Everything about him was… perfect. An aching feeling now returns, still knowing that he probably doesn’t return the same feelings. Distracted by your thoughts once again, you didn’t see the girl approaching Neteyam.
“NETE!”
Your ears perk up hearing a loud shrieking. Lifting your head up you see Fipxe, the one girl you couldn’t help but dislike. It wasn’t like she was rude or anything, it was the complete opposite. Fipxe was a very bright girl, also coming from a good family. Not only was she pretty but pleasant to be around. The one reason you don’t like her is because Neteyam seemed to like her around. He had that glimmer in his eyes that you had for him.
“Fipxe, nice to see you. Do you need something?”
Neteyam had asked in a soft tone. Your ears turned down seeing the interaction between the two.
“I was hoping we could walk around together after you finished your training here?”
He looked in your direction seeing that he wasn’t sure what to say. You decided to interrupt and speak for him in a polite tone.
“He was just about finished so he should be able to join you soon”
He turned to you with a confused expression because you had plans with him first. Instead you wave him off with a faint smile but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
“Pasuk, I thought we were going to walk around?”
“It is okay teyam. You spend enough time with me already, now hurrying and finish you don’t want to keep the girl waiting”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I am sure, now stop stalling and finish with training”
You wave goodbye and watch them interact with each other. Your chest felt as if it was on fire. Not wanting to watch the scene anymore you sped away to distract yourself. Not knowing what to do, you just sat in your home and started to weave some more clothing items to keep unwanted thoughts away. Your mother walked in seeing you sat on the ground just radiating with sadness.
“What is wrong maite? You are usually with Neteyam these days are you not?”
Hearing his name again made you sink deeper into your sadness
“It is nothing, he had other plans so I am just keeping busy”
She knew something was wrong and pulled you into a hug giving you a squeeze. As you were hugging you heard someone opening the flaps of your home. It was Lo’ak. He gave your mother a quick greeting.
“Um hi miss l/n, is it okay if I stole your daughter for the day if she isn’t busy or anything”
Ears perking, seeing Lo’ak awkwardly standing at the entrance. Your mother nudged you, taking it as her wanting you to go out. Standing up greeting Lo’ak with a light punch on the shoulder. He took that as you being free, tail now swiping back and forth excited to show what he had planned. Your mother is looking at the scene with a faint smile.
Before Lo’ak had the idea to come to you, he saw that his brother wasn’t with you at all. Instead he saw him with another girl, and from the corner of his eyes he saw you walk away from their direction. He knew that something went wrong since you and Neteyam were always with each other. Quickly he formed an idea of things to do with you while slowly heading towards your space. Now with you standing beside him it was like his mind went blank.
“Soo Lo’ak, why did you need me?”
“Well uh, I uh”
Now stuttering over his own words, purple flushing his cheeks. You noticed and thought that it was adorable. Swatting those thoughts away, you must've thought you were insane for thinking that when you like Neteyam, his brother.
“I uh, I thought we could hangout today seeing you aren’t with Neteyam…”
Seeing your ears turn down again at the thought, he was quick to stray away from mentioning Neteyam.
“I wanted to see if you’d like to go exploring with me or fly around?”
Finally perking up hearing those ideas, you gladly accept. Wanting to forget about Neteyam for a little while. Lo’ak sighing in relief knowing that you seem happier now. Both walking together side by side talking about small things and asking how Tuk and Kiri were. Along the way you had stopped Lo’ak to tell him that you wanted to check something real quick. That something was the hideaway. Telling him to stay put, you quickly dart towards the place promising Lo’ak you’ll be back in a sec.
You had dropped your hand blade the other night, guessing it might’ve fell while messing around with Neteyam. Reaching the said area, you froze in your spot hearing two familiar voices. You closed your eyes not wanting to see what you think it may be. Opening your eyes ever so slowly, you peak over the bush. Your chest never ached this hard ever before, it felt as if it had been torn out. The sight was Fipxe and Neteyam sitting beside each other in your special spot. They were laughing and pushing each other around. It felt as if you’d been replaced by the person you had been most worried about. You were able to hold in your feelings when it came to letting Neteyam be happy with someone else but this was something you could not forgive him for.
Not wanting to watch any further, you took off as fast as you could with tears gathering in your eyes threatening to fall at any second. Neteyam on the other hand had catched a glimpse of you. Eyes widening he apologised quickly to Fipxe and took off after you.
“PASUK. Y/N i can explain!”
Not wanting to hear his words you run even faster with tears now streaming down your face. Lo’ak had heard some shouting from a distance wondering what had happened. He saw you running towards him, he smiled but quickly faded seeing that you were crying. Quickly grabbing you before you could run past him.
“Why are you crying? What happened?”
At that moment Neteyam had finally caught up, seeing you in the embrace of Lo’ak. He felt a small twinge in his heart seeing the scene before him. Never did he mean for you to see that nor to make you cry. He wanted to reach out and comfort you but he retracted his hand as his brother gave him a deadly look.
Lo’ak knew right away once his brother emerged from the plants. He gave his brother a look of warning while comforting you in his arms. They start walking away with him rubbing your back. Neteyam could only walk away back to Fipxe, but hoping he could talk to you later at night knowing right now wasn’t the best time.
_
Crying now settled to sniffling, still in the arms of Lo’ak, grateful that he was here with you. He quietly spoke asking if you wanted to go somewhere more secluded. You nod slightly, now heading towards his Ikran as you weren’t fully stable enough to ride yours. He sat you infront of him, securing his arms around your frail body ready to take off. Flying smoothly through the air, now having a steady breath and heart rate. You lean into Lo’aks warm body until you were able to find a small area to land.
Landing softly on some plush grass on top of the mountains, Lo’ak helps you off his Ikran. Thoughts are still running through your mind, so many questions unanswered. Flinching when Lo’ak touched your shoulder, pulling you out of your thoughts. He holds your hand, guiding you to a flat area for you to settle on. Though reaching the spot, he still didn’t let go of your hand. Rather, he tightened his grip but not enough to hurt you.
Laying in silence, looking up towards the sky lost in thought once again. Instead of thoughts of Neteyam, it was thoughts about Lo’ak. How lucky you were to have him with you right now. Now thoughts filled with questions once again.
“Lo’ak?”
He turns towards you humming
“Is there something wrong about me?”
His eyebrows furrowed, not understanding what you had meant by that.
“What are you talking about?”
“I mean, is there something about me that’s… unlikeable?”
He gave you an even more furrowed look, speechless with what you had just asked. He sat up grabbing both of your hands.
“No no absolutely not, you are extremely likeable. Whoever says anything different is crazy!”
You gave him a doubtful look not fully believing his statements. He sees through you and gently places his hand on your cheek.
“Y/n”
He tenderly spoke, plucking up the courage to say what he always has wanted to say.
“Ever since I've met you, I’ve always thought you were the most stunning girl out of everyone in the clan. Not only that, you’re kind-hearted, clever, and overall breathtaking. You always knew what to say when I’m having a hard time with everything. You speak to me with the sweetest tone and it is always reassuring for me knowing that you understand me.”
You place your hand over his, tears flooding once again. Tears of joy and a bright smile.
“Thank you Lo’ak”
A comfortable silence settled between the both of you. Staring at the stars. Lo’ak felt happy but there was just one thing gnawing at him endlessly. He didn’t want to ruin the mood but he needed to know why you still like Neteyam.
“Y/n?”
You hum looking towards him.
“I know you may not want to talk about this but I have to get it off my chest. Why do you still like Neteyam?”
Sorrow now falls over your once relaxed face. You knew it wasn’t good to keep all of this to yourself but the topic was always so difficult to talk about. You could only huff out air through your nose but you knew you could confine yourself to Lo’ak.
“Neteyam and I have been together ever since we were just babies. Growing up together, I couldn’t help but develop feelings for him. He was always kind to me and protected me. He possessed so many qualities that I couldn’t help but fall for him more. What made my feelings even more solid was the fact that we had a special place together, a hideaway. That was one of the reasons I was crying earlier. He was there when I stopped to check if my blade was there. He was with Fipxe, in our hideaway. That hideaway is so dear to me but seeing him there with someone else who isn't me broke me a little inside seeing I am so easily replaced. To answer your question, I don’t know. Normally after something like that you’re supposed to be mad but all I feel is disappointment. There is a part of me that wants to believe that it was a mistake but only one could dream. I’m in conflict with my own feelings and thoughts everyday.”
Fresh tears now fall on your cheeks. The aching feeling returns worse than before making it feel hard to breathe. Lo’ak acted fast pulling you into a tight embrace. You could only cry harder.
“It hurts so much Lo’ak”
You dig deeper into his chest wanting to get rid of the pain in your chest. He could only pull you closer and caress your head whispering words of consolation.
_
The flight back was silent after calming down, both unable to speak after the confession. Dismounting the Ikran, Lo’ak gave you one last hug before parting ways. You walked straight back home unable to control your thoughts with a hazy look on your face. Your head faced towards the ground, you bumped into someone's chest. You looked up to apologise, words stuck in your throat as you saw Neteyam with a desperate look on his face.
You try to walk past him not wanting to talk to him. He grabs your arm making you turn to him trying to shake him off.
“Let go Neteyam!”
He went wide-eyed, not once have you called him his full name.
“Pasuk please, I just want to explain”
Ears going back, giving him a hardened look. You hiss
“I do not want to talk about that”
Still attempting to shake his hand off your arm. Instead he grabs both arms now fully facing him.
“Please”
His voice strained, only wanting to talk. Face softening, you nod faintly letting him talk once more. He looks at you gratefully.
“I swear we were just walking and talking but we ended up near our hideaway. She saw it and started walking towards it and I couldn't stop her.”
You squint your eyes at him. Annoyance now taking over.
“You couldn’t stop her or you didn’t bother to tell her? You know fully well you could’ve told her that it wasn't her place to be there as it’s our special place!”
You were now enraged with the excuse Neteyam had spat out. You could not believe what you were hearing at all frankly. Neteyam now looked upset, blurting out something that broke your heart even more tonight.
“You think I would tell that to a girl I’ve been courting? “Our special place” you say, we aren't children anymore so grow up!”
Staring at him with disbelief, this was not the boy you once befriended nor one you fell for. The words “courting” are now ringing in your ears. All this time he kept this from you while you kept falling deeper and deeper. Your voice is weak, barely getting a word out.
“You’re courting her?”
Regret filling his face, he didn’t want you knowing just yet about his courtship to Fipxe. His tone is now quiet as well.
“I am…”
Mind trailing back to him saying that you were childish for mentioning “our special place.” Anger now apparent on your face once more.
“Not only that, you call me childish?! That place has been special to me since we were kids, the place where we meet and only us”
Sadness now takes over your anger not understanding why he was acting this way. Neteyam now had a stern look.
“Y/n, I feel it is time for us to put our youth behind us. We are at the age where we will have to find a mate. Not only that, I have to start living up to the Olo’eyktan title soon. I cannot continue running around with you even if you are my friend.”
“Are you hearing yourself, you are such a hypocrite. You say that you can’t run around with me when you are doing the exact same thing with Fipxe.”
Voices now get louder by the second and the aching feeling in your chest gets tighter. So tight it was like you couldn’t get a breath of air.
“That is different! I like Fipxe, you are only a friend”
“Only a friend” echoing in your mind. That is how he always viewed you and nothing more… nothing more. You wanted to burst out telling him that you saw him, loved him. Instead you shoved it so far down into your system, the love and admiration now turning into resentment. You could only blame yourself, insecurities resurfacing. You look at him with bitterness in your eyes. You finally rip his grip off of you as it loosened.
“Leave”
His ears now turned down looking at you with disbelief.
“What?”
“I SAID LEAVE. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU”
Voice hoarse, tears slowly falling. If your younger self were to look at you now, she would be bewildered not understanding why you guys were fighting. Neteyam shook his head and left you alone in the dark. He has never felt this much when it came to you. This night has shifted everything between the both of you.
Striding into your home, tears still falling down your face. Your mother was quick to pull you into a tight embrace.
“He has replaced me sa’nok. I feel as though I am nothing to him”
Her heart felt strained hearing her daughter in such pain. Doing her best to provide words of comfort. She softly rubs your back and caresses your head.
“Maite, one who causes pain is not worth your love. You mustn't shed tears for someone who doesn’t see your value”
Crying turned to soft sniffling. Still in your mothers embrace, you are thankful for your mother for always being there for you. You slowly fall asleep in her arms as she quietly sings you a lullaby. You feel as though you were a child being lulled to sleep.
Neteyam had entered his home, he still hadn't calmed down from the fight. Everyone was sleeping except for Lo’ak as he was unable to sleep after the confession. He saw his brother with a hardened look on his face. He got up alerting Neteyam that someone was awake.
“Lo’ak what are you doing still up, you should be sleeping”
“I could say the same”
Neteyam just sighed, not wanting to talk any further. That was until his brother grabbed his arm.
“Did something happen between you and y/n?”
Lo’ak had his suspicions as it wasn't too long after you guys had been together. His brother's ears twitched, learning that his suspicions were indeed correct.
“What did you do?”
His voice lowered, now feeling uneasy.
“It has nothing to do with you Lo’ak.”
“It has everything to do with me”
Neteyam moved right into Lo’aks face, anger returning to his body. Taking his finger, digging it into his brother's chest.
“It. does. Not”
Backing away ready to go to his corner but froze in place hearing what Lo’ak said.
“You hurt her didn’t you”
Mentally or physically, Lo’ak didn’t know worrying him further about your well being. Neteyam grabbed him, dragging him outside not wanting to wake anyone.
“Why must you always involve yourself when it comes to me and her huh?”
Confused why Lo’ak must always insert himself between you and him.
“She means everything to me, seeing her hurt because of you hurts me”
Neteyam now understood, Lo’ak likes you. Another twinge in his chest returned, not knowing why.
“Do you know how many people she turned down because of you”
Now confused as to why you would do something like that. Lo’ak seeing that his brother looked confused.
“You seriously are dense aren’t you?”
Seeing as his brother still does not understand what he’s getting at. He suddenly exclaimed your secret.
“SHE LIKES YOU, YOU FUCKING SKXAWNG”
Body still, unable to process what had just been yelled. Multiple thoughts spinning in his head. Had he really been that oblivious to your feelings? When did you ever start feeling this way? Why didn't you tell him?
“You know, she tries to keep a strong act in front of you even if it hurts her. When she saw you with Fipxe she felt as if she was replaced Neteyam, REPLACED. Instead of telling you how she felt, she just left it alone wanting you to be happy. That was until you and Fipxe were somewhere you weren’t supposed to. I don’t know if you realise this but you barely have time for her anymore. That certain place was the only thing that still kept you guys together and she was content with that even if it meant you being happy with someone else. But you had to go and ruin that. I may be someone who is known for making trouble but never did I expect it from you. Whether you were blind to see what you were doing to her, you still hurt her in ways you can’t imagine. She comes to me and ends up crying BECAUSE of you. Brother I love you I really do but I cannot forgive you for hurting her. I will take your place if I have to.”
Feeling out of breath for speaking his mind, he left Neteyam outside heading back in with disappointment tracing his face. Neteyam just stood there not moving an inch. Still trying to process all the words that Lo’ak had remarked. You liked him? You felt replaced? He made you cry more than once? He sat down burying his face in his hands letting out a strangled sound. He felt tears now welling up in his eyes for some reason. Blaming himself for straining their friendship. Now he was thinking if things had been different if you had told him how you felt. He never really thought much about how he felt towards you. In his eyes you had always been just a friend but it didn’t explain why he was envious towards Lo’ak for being there for you.
Most of his life his main goals were to be a good Olo’ekytan - but being so busy he completely disregarded your feelings. He made it his goal to try and talk to you again any time he could. He quietly went into his sleeping space. Laying down he couldn’t sleep, instead just staring at the ceiling still thinking about the argument earlier with Lo’ak. Eyes now feeling heavy, he fell asleep determined to talk to you.
Being the next morning, you had gotten up extra early wanting to avoid a certain person at all costs. You didn’t want to see him after the events from last night. You felt both upset and embarrassed, upset from him being stupid and embarrassed from your sudden outburst. Not once did you want to think about him, you busied yourself by doing your daily chores and even assisting others wanting to stay busy.
Neteyam had been busy now returning to his daily training and chores. He had been distracted all morning even ignoring his father’s words, which ended up with him getting yelled at. He could care less, he had kept his eye out for you wanting to speak with you. When he did spot you, he tried calling for you but he got ignored in return. His father called him to come back, he only turned for a second but you disappeared from his view. This continued for the rest of the day, only for him to stumble across you talking with Lo’ak. You had a smile on your face, the smile caused by Lo’ak. He couldn’t help but feel… replaced. Was this how you felt when you said you felt replaced? He had thoughts that he should be the one in Lo’aks spot right now. The one to make you smile, not cry. Taking in Lo’aks words from last night, he was serious about taking his spot.
_
You had been avoiding Neteyam like a plague. Every time he spots you, you quickly disappear from his view. It kept repeating until you fumbled into Lo’ak, he caught you in his arms.
“Oh shit, sorry Lo’ak”
Apart from catching you, you also dropped some of the fruit you were carrying. Kneeling down gathering the fruit once again and Lo’ak helping you.
“No need to apologise. You seem awfully busy today”
He said in a teasing tone. You couldn’t help but sigh.
“Blame that on your brother”
His smile fell. Giving you a soft look and helping you up from the ground.
“Let me help you today hm?”
“Oh no I couldn’t ask that of you, you’re probably busy with your own chores as well”
“It is no big deal, plus I’m sure you could use the company”
He bumped your hip returning to his teasing manner. He saw a smile appearing on your face. It seems like cheering you up had worked, even his tail couldn’t help but sway. You felt undeserving of Lo’ak, though you appreciate his efforts in cheering you up. From the corner of his eyes he could see his brother, he was quick to act. He guided you away asking what you had to do next. His hand on your lower back made a fluttering feeling in your stomach. Instead of pushing the feelings away, you now welcome it. Ever since the night of the confession, it was like something changed within you. You were still conflicted with your feelings yes but things you do with Lo’ak just felt right, like it was meant to be. I know cliché am I right? But it did.
For the rest of the day, Lo’ak had assisted you in all your chores even playing around every so often. For once your mind wasn’t filled with Neteyam and negative thoughts. With Lo’ak you could really act your age instead of feeling like an adult.
Neteyam had given up for the day. You being with Lo’ak had made him feel weird feelings he doesn’t usually experience. Jealousy? Normally it didn’t bother him that you were around other men - knowing you were with his brother who liked you had him feeling this repulsive feeling. While lost in thought, Fipxe had come up to him.
“Neteyam?”
Being pulled out of his thoughts, he looked around seeing Fipxe standing behind him. He put on a small smile.
“Oh Fipxe hi, did you need something?”
“Oh no, it just looked like you were spaced out and wanted to check if you were okay”
He couldn’t help but feel bad. Fipxe is such a bright girl, extremely nice as well. He knew she meant well and he wanted to talk to her about some private matters. He knew at some point he would have to tell her about that certain spot as well.
“I don’t know if I'm okay. Would it be okay if we talked, there’s some things I needed to talk to you about”
She nods a bit, sensing that something was wrong. They walked together to a small secluded area and sat down.
“What is it that you wanted to talk about? I’m not in trouble am I?”
Trying to be a bit humorous seeing that the atmosphere is a bit dull. Seeing that he did not smile, she knew the matters were serious.
“No nothing like that, I am just confused. But there is something else I must speak about before I start the other matter at hand.”
She could only nod again urging him to continue.
“The place that you found, the small pond in the secluded area. That place was a very special place to me and someone else. Someone else being y/n.”
Guilt had filled her system not knowing the area was someone's private hideout.
“How come you didn’t tell me? I would’ve understood, I know how close you two are”
Hearing her say that she would’ve understood made him feel even worse.
“I do not know, I thought it would be okay if we stayed for a tiny bit but I lost track of time”
She saw that he now had a solemn look, she felt bad as well but it didn’t justify what he did. She also predicted what he may be confused about, you.
“I'm guessing you are also conflicted about her aren’t you?”
Fipxe felt sad knowing that she was right seeing his surprised face. Except she wasn’t taken aback, she has seen the looks he gave you. Looks full of endearment, his eyes even dilated when he looks towards your direction. Only problem was that he couldn’t see it himself nor see that it also hurt Fipxe at the same time. She had hoped it was just a small feeling as she really liked Neteyam too. Fipxe knew it all ended at some point, cherishing the moments she shared with Neteyam.
“I’m sorry, Fipxe. I’m not sure what to feel anymore, everything has become so complicated. I feel as though our friendship has deteriorated because of me.”
“Neteyam, I like you a lot. I want you to know that. I’ve seen how you look at her. You should try talking things out with her, even if you are not together the least you can do is stay friends. I know the friendship is very dear to you but you cannot like two people at once”
He thought hard about what he should do. He turned to Fipxe and thanked her, pulling her into a hug. He apologised once more before they parted ways. He was nervous to say the least, trying to think of what to say once he was finally able to catch you. He decided that it was best to wait till the next day feeling tired.
Nearing the eclipse, you and Lo’ak had finished up your last chores. Huffing with content you turn to Lo’ak who also did the same.
“Thank you for helping me today Lo’ak, I really appreciate it”
He took your hands looking at you with a smile.
“Always. If you ever need me just shout and i’ll come running”
Cheeks heating up to a faint purple colour. Looking at his eyes, you never realised how pretty they were. His stripe patterns were unique, and you couldn’t help catching a glimpse of his lips. You snapped out of thought. Now it was your turn to be a mess in front of Lo’ak.
“Oh um uh, sorry for staring, I uh I should start heading home. Don’t want my mother nagging me”
He couldn’t help enjoying the adorable sight of you fumbling your words in front of him. He felt his chest blooming knowing he had an effect on you. For some reason he had a surge of confidence. Before you could turn away to walk home, he caressed your face and gave you a peck on your forehead. It was like time froze, wide eyed you stared at him with shock. Now Lo’ak was flushed with purple, surprised himself. He was now fumbling over his words.
“Um yea I should get going now too, yea. Uh goodnight”
He quickly turned around and started striding away feeling embarrassed of himself but also giddy. You are still standing in place, hand slowly touching your forehead right where he kissed. Both face and ears are bright purple, thoughts running “oh my god, he just kissed me??” A wide smile appears on your face, you couldn’t even control your tail. You finally started moving towards your home with a little pip in your steps. Opening the flaps entering, your mother sees you radiating a positive energy.
“You are unusually happy. Did something good happen?”
Facing your mother with a wide smile still present on your face. You didn’t want to tell her just yet making up a lie for your current mood.
“Oh nothing much I just had a good time with my chores today. I can be happy while doing chores, right?”
The excuse was horrible but your mother knew best not to question any further.
“Well it would be a bit odd but there are plenty who find joy from doing chores”
She was glad to see her daughter happy once again. Even though she doesn’t know what or who caused you to smile like a madman. She could only laugh while shaking her head going back to making accessories. You on the other hand couldn’t stop thinking about it. You cringe at yourself for acting the way you are but it was hard not to.
Lo’ak had made it back home also feeling ecstatic. It was only his siblings that were here while his parents were out on what they call a “date night.” Kiri noticed him first with his positive attitude.
“What’s gotten you all weirdly happy?”
Neteyam ears perked up, head turning to the happy Lo’ak.
“Oh it's nothing you need to know”
Tuk now joins the conversation curious why her big brother wouldn't tell them.
“Lo’ak pleeeaasse, I want to know too!”
“Mmmmm nope”
Denying them again with a loud popping sound. Kiri tried convincing him one more time as they were all wondering about his uppity attitude.
“Come on Lo’ak. How about you tell me only, I won’t tell anyone else I swear”
He thought about it knowing Kiri won’t stop pestering him about it. Soon enough he just sighs giving in. He walks over to Kiri and whispers into her ear about his interaction with you. Her eyes widened with her jaw dropped. She had always known about Lo’aks little crush on you but for him to actually act on it was unimaginable.
“Did you actually?!”
She punched his shoulder as a happy gesture. He only nods his head with a smile while rubbing his arm. Neteyam was now even more curious, wondering what he had told Kiri.
“Who knew, I thought you would wuss out if you ever got the chance to do that”
Tuk so desperately wanting to know the secret started pulling at Lo’aks arm.
“I wanna know too! Please Lo’ak, I promise I won’t tell either!”
Giving him puppy dog eyes, he was debating whether or not to share with his baby sister. He decided against it mainly because he knows Tuk won’t be able to keep to herself for very long.
“Sorry Tuk but only Kiri shall know. Plus you aren’t good with secrets especially with you snitching on me to mom”
She pouts and murmurs to herself saying that she’s good at keeping secrets. He chuckles at the sight while walking over to his sleeping mat. Neteyam plans on asking Kiri later about what the secret was knowing she wasn’t good at keeping secrets from him.
“Anyways, I bid you all goodnight”
They all looked at him like he was crazy. This was the earliest Lo’aks ever gone to bed. Neteyam took this chance to ask Kiri what the secret was. Before asking he double checked that Lo’ak was passed out by poking him. Satisfied with no reaction he walked over to Kiri.
“Kiri, what did Lo’ak tell you?”
She wasn’t sure if she should tell him knowing that you and him were close.
“I don’t think It would be a good idea if I told you”
That got Neteyam thinking of what the secret may be. Lo’ak won’t tell him, Kiri doesn’t think it's a good idea for him to know. It only really meant two things, either Lo’ak fucked up one of Neteyams personal items or it’s about y/n. He took a wild guess between the two.
“Is it about y/n by any chance?”
Kiris face only confirmed his suspicions.
“It is…”
Kiri brought him outside away from Lo’aks sleeping figure. She thought it would be best not knowing how Neteyam would react.
“You have to promise me you won’t get angry or anything like that okay?”
Although unsure, he only nodded faintly mentally preparing himself for the worse.
“Okay, Lo’ak told me that he finally got the chance to make a move on y/n”
Kiri quickly blurted it out. Neteyam wasn’t sure what to feel. Kiri saw that he wasn’t reacting much not knowing if that was a good sign or not.
“Neteyam? Are you okay?”
He waved her off.
“I’m uh I’m okay, could just leave me to think for a little bit?”
She wasn’t sure if he was okay to be left alone but she complied heading back in. Neteyam on the other hand, again was conflicted not knowing how he should feel. Lo’ak made a move? On you? He didn’t notice his tail twitching with agitation, and his ears turned back. Is this exactly how you felt when you had the feeling of replacement? Most of his life, Lo’ak had gotten an easier life even if he got in trouble often. Now he’s slowly taking away his closest friend. He wasn’t even sure what you guys were anymore. More determined than ever, he was going to talk to you tomorrow no matter what.
_
Waking up you felt more refreshed than ever. Saying a quick morning to your mother before stepping out. Memories from last night are still fresh in your head, a purple hue now taking over your face again. Today was an off day for you, you planned on asking Lo’ak if you wanted to join you for a stroll. On the way something clicked in your mind, Neteyam. Coincidentally Neteyam was headed straight towards you. You see him in a distance, right as you turn around regretting coming out he yells for you.
“Y/N! I just want to talk, please!”
You weren’t sure what to do. You still had feelings of resentment against him but you also miss him. Except this time, your feelings had shifted, you missed the friendship you shared with Neteyam. You chose to stop, turning to face him now only a mere couple steps away. A little out of breath, he now stands in front of you.
“Thank you, for stopping”
Only giving him a curt nod.
“What did you want to talk about”
Tone uninterested, not wanting to meet his gaze. The view only made him feel regretful, seeing how much their relationship strain had affected you. He decided it was best to get straight to the point.
“I-I missed you, okay? I miss being around you, the argument we had two days ago, I never meant any of it. I do not think you are childish and I regret not telling Fipxe that our spot was special and secret to us only. I finally told her about it yesterday, and she made me realise that you were right about me being in the wrong for not telling her about our hideaway. And, she made me realise how I felt about you…”
The only thing you processed out of everything he said was his last words. Face now filled with discontent, you pushed his chest.
“You cannot do this to me right now! Do you understand how much I had to go through because of you! Neteyam I love you I really do but it is not the same love that I used to hold for you. I miss you as well but not in the same way you do. I’m glad that you were finally able to tell her about the hideaway that was once special but we are way past that now. I miss how we used to be, best friends. What’s even worse about this situation right now is you leaving Fipxe, someone you were COURTING. I truly cannot understand you anymore, I don’t even know if you understand what your feelings towards me are. I’ve moved on Neteyam, I’m happier now but I can’t stay happy if you keep confusing me. I need you to get your feelings in check before you come to talk to me again.”
Not waiting for a reply, you push past him wanting to retrieve Lo’ak. No matter how much Neteyam wanted to pull you back, he only knew it’d make things worse but you were right. He had to figure out his feelings.
Arriving at Lo’aks home, you gently pull the flap back seeing the family eating together. They all turn towards you with small looks of surprise on their faces. Giving Lo’ak a quick glance first before turning to his parents. You made your hand gesture towards them, giving you small smiles. Jake was first to speak.
“Y/n, Neteyam actually just left if you were wondering where he was.”
“oh , I uh was actually here to see if Lo’ak was available to join me on a stroll around the forest?”
Their eyes widen, normally used to you being here for Neteyam.
“We were going to do a bit of training but I think Lo’ak can skip it just for today”
Lo’ak looks at his father thanking him for dismissing him. He stands quickly excited to have another moment alone with you. Neytiri and Jake watch as their youngest son looks at you like you were the only thing that existed in his world. They look back to each other with knowing looks, smiling softly knowing their younger son has someone to look after him.
Walking side by side, you still felt unsettled from earlier. It seemed that Lo’ak had noticed grabbing your hand as a sign of comfort. You looked up to him, giving him a slight grin reassuring him that you were fine. Trying to shake off the feeling, you move closer leaning into him. He looked down examining your face, wanting to engrave it into his brain. When you leaned in, he rested his head on top of yours while you guys continued to walk through the forest. Suddenly he pulled away, you looked at him confused. Lo’ak abruptly started running and yelled out.
“Catch me if you can!”
Snapping out of your small trance you start to run after him.
“LO’AK YOU SKXAWNG GET BACK HERE”
Only to hear him laugh out loud. One thing he forgot about you was how fast of a runner you were. You caught up to him in mere seconds. Getting ready to lunge at him, he took a sharp turn. Which made you end up landing in a small spring. He stopped running and looked around just to see you in the water soaked. He cackled hard.
“I swear to god Lo’ak, I am going to skin you!”
“Hey I won’t help you if you keep threatening me”
You mock his words sarcastically under your breath. He starts walking away hearing your mocking but you were quick to apologise.
“IM SORRY, now help me out! This was your fault in the first place running and everything”
“Fine fine cause you asked SO nicely”
You roll your eyes at him but with a small smile on your face. That smile widening as an idea popped in your head. Lo’ak reaches the edge and puts his arm out to help you out. You were quick to grab his arm now pulling him into the spring with you. A small shriek coming out from his mouth.
“Whos laughing now”
He emerged from the water giving you an offended look. That look turned into a mischievous grin, regretting what you had done you try swimming away from him. He wraps his arms around your waist before you could get any further lifting you out of the water.
“NO WAIT LO’AK IM SORRY. PUT ME DOWN”
“You should’ve thought your plans through before involving me in them”
Speaking “calmly” he proceeds to throw you further into the spring. Emerging out of the water, it was your turn to look offended. You swam towards him, both of you now fighting in the water with laughter spilling from your lips. After a couple minutes, now tired, floating in the water on your backs. Lo’ak went upright treading in the water - he spun around to look at you, your eyes closed embracing the water surrounding you admiring your peaceful figure. Feeling his gaze, you changed your floating stance into treading like Lo’ak.
“What, is there something on my face?”
Asking in a joking tone. Except Lo’ak didn’t laugh, instead he swam closer to you. Purple appearing on your cheeks looking deeply in his eyes, him doing the same. He glances down to your lips, holding himself back not wanting to act on his impulsive thoughts. Rather, he opened his mouth to speak in a delicate tone.
“Would it be okay if I could kiss you…?”
You paused not responding but took action. You connect your lips to his, responding immediately to your kiss he kissed back. The kiss was strong yet soft, you have never felt anything like this. Butterflies fill your stomach and sparks go off in your brain. Breaking the kiss to breathe, you look at each other with adoration now breaking into wide grins.
“Who knew you had it in you Lo’ak”
“I should be the one saying that after you kissed me first”
Both giggling like children, you nod your head towards the edge indicating you wanted to get out of the water now. Drying yourselves off, both of you stealing glances at each other. On the way back, his arm was wrapped around your waist while your tail entangled with his. You never wanted the day to end after sharing such an intimate moment.
Reaching your home, Lo’ak asked if he could ask your mother something important. Though curious on what he had to ask you let him come inside. Upon going inside, you see your mother working on some new clothing items. She turns to see who had entered, seeing you and Lo’ak together hand in hand. A little surprised at the scene before her, Lo’ak greeted her with a polite manner.
“I was wondering if I could ask you a rather important question?”
Your mother nodded, interested in what he was going to say. Neither did you or your mother expect those words to leave his mouth.
“May I court your daughter?”
She abruptly stood up, ecstatic from his question. You were the exact same, your eyes wide open. Your mother quickly ushered him to sit down wanting to talk to him in a more comfortable manner. All of you now settled on the ground, she turned to Lo’ak with a more serious look on her face.
“Why is it you ask to court my daughter?”
“I love your daughter dearly. When I see her she lights up my day like a ray of sun. She is kind, and a compassionate being. She brings me joy and I’m hoping I bring her joy too. I want her to be my mate someday but I want to be able to court her properly first.”
Tears filling your eyes, you felt so lucky to have Lo’ak. Looking at your mother now waiting for approval. Her face splits into a gentle smile.
“I would be grateful for you to court my daughter”
As soon as those words left her lips you jumped into Lo’aks arms crushing him with a hug. He had wind knocked out of him as you hit him with a hard hug. Your mother, laughing at the scene unfolding in front of her. Lo’ak sat back up after being tackled and turned to your mother.
“Thank you”
She only smiles at him knowing you are well taken care of now. You pull him off the ground pushing him towards the entrance. Giving your mother one last glance telling her you’ll be a little while before heading outside. Bringing him into another hug, more affectionate rather than a full on tackle. You tucked your head in his chest, his head resting on top of yours. You could hear his heartbeat, it was beating at a quick rate only making you smile more. Bringing your head out from his chest, you look up to him. Only thinking how much euphoria he really does bring you.
“You do bring me joy just as much as I bring you joy”
You felt as if you were on cloud nine just by admiring him. Today was a new milestone in your life.
_
While Lo’ak was gone during the day with you, Neteyam spent the time thinking. He was still confused about his feelings and it made him frustrated because he didn’t want to lose you or Fipxe. Instead of moping around he decided it was best to continue his daily chores while he still tried getting his feelings sorted out. Once it reached the end of the day he sat outside waiting on Lo’ak wanting to speak with him.
Lo’ak made it back home still happy from the events that happened earlier. Making his way to the entrance he sees Neteyam sitting out front waiting for him. Neteyam looks up to Lo’ak giving him a sincere yet tired face. He patted the spot next to him asking Lo’ak to sit with him.
“Lo’ak how do you know you love someone?”
Lo’ak was taken aback. Neteyam had always looked strong with walls built around his emotions. Now looking at his brother, he has never seen him so vulnerable before. He can only assume that he was talking about you. He felt sympathetic towards his big brother knowing that this was hard on him too. Turning to him he gave him the most truthful words he could think of when you thinks of you.
“Loving someone isn’t really something you know right away, but when you do realise those feelings it’s like nothing else matters anymore. When you look at them, you see them as the most radiant being ever. Your heart can’t calm down when you’re around them. Your thoughts are always filled with them.”
He took a brief pause seeing that Neteyam’s face finally looked at ease. Lo’ak could see the conflict in him finally settling. He thought now would be a good time to bring you up in the conversation.
“I’m not sure if you love y/n my brother. Yes you love her but not in the way I do. I know how precious she is to you but the way I see it is you not wanting to let her go.”
Neteyam could only smile at his baby brother. He wasn’t sure when Lo’ak had gotten so wise but he was thankful for him using it tonight.
“Who knew my baby brother was so smart with his words?”
He teased ruffling his braids, chuckling softly.
“All the years I've known y/n she always had a special place in my heart. I always saw her as a sister you know? Though the moment I messed up, I started panicking. It was the first time in forever that we’ve had an argument as serious as that. Once she started distancing herself from me and getting closer with you, I couldn’t help but feel envious. I shouldn’t have felt that way, I had no right to do so. I really do like Fipxe and she's helped me through a lot as well. I think two different problems that were so closely related made things harder as it only confused me more. Now that you’re here it seems like you’ve really made things easier somehow. I finally knew how she felt too, feeling replaced I mean. It was definitely not a fun feeling.”
Lo’ak gave him a small punch to the shoulder with a small smile. He was glad he could help his brother instead of it being the other way around.
“Think you are ready to talk to her?”
“Yes, but I can’t help but feel nervous. The last time we talked ended up in an argument which was mostly my fault.”
“Brother I can promise you that it would mean the world to her if you talked to her tomorrow. I know she misses you and I'm sure you miss her just as much.”
They had spent the rest of the night bonding and joking around, catching up on everything they missed out on in each other's lives. Lo’ak had finally told Neteyam about him courting you with a shy demeanour. Neteyam was shocked to say the least but he was proud seeing his brother grow. He was happy for you too, genuinely this time. He knew he would have to talk to you first thing tomorrow. Both brothers yawning, now tired from all the talking head in to sleep. They give each other one more glance before saying goodnight to each other. Finally Neteyam felt light, the burden that was once laying heavily on his shoulders has now disappeared. He finally got a good night of sleep knowing everything will be okay now.
_
Neteyam had woken up bright and early wanting to talk to you as soon as possible. Leaving quickly while saying a quick bye to his parents, he ran off to see you. Running there he couldn’t tell if his heart was restless from running or being nervous. He bumped into a few clan members apologising to them while still running. All them wondered what had the Olo’eyktans son in a hurry. After a couple minutes he finally reached your home. He saw your mother outside getting ready to leave. He stopped her just before she left asking where you were. She had told him that her daughter mentioned going somewhere with a pond and going on about how she was acting crazy, shoving fruit down her throat causing her to choke on them. He disregarded the last few words but immediately he knew where to go, giving a quick thanks to your mother.
You woke up early, earlier than you usually do. After yesterday you felt amazing but there was just something that felt missing. You thought back to the hideaway and decided whether or not to visit one last time. Feeling a bit hesitant you finally just said fuck it. Your mother was up as well preparing some fruits to eat. You got up ready to leave before your mother called out to you.
“Maite, where are you going so early?”
“Oh i’m just going out to check out a pond real quickly”
“Eat some fruit first, best not to go on a empty stomach”
Even though you wanted to go you knew it was best to go against your mothers wishes. You walk back bending down to sit in front of your mother. She gave you a plate of assorted pandorian fruits. You give your mother a slow look before you shoved fruit in your mouth eating as fast as you could. Your mother looked flabbergasted, and smacked your arm to slow down before you could choke. Except you did choke, now coughing uncontrollably while your mother stared at you with a deadpan look.
“I told you to listen and look what happened”
Your coughing had died down while your mother slapped your back to help you. You thank your mother for the meal and helping you with your coughing. Standing up finally heading out to the hideaway. On the way, you admire the plants around you, never getting tired of the scene before you. Looking at the pond from a distance away, you felt downhearted knowing what happened the last you were here. You noticed your blade laying on the ground, you had completely forgotten about it - picking it up you tucked it away. Slowly approaching, you sit by the edge of the pond pondering how everything changed. You carefully skim the surface of the water with your hand, going back and forth making small waves. Little fishes surround your hand, a smile graces your face. Lost in dreamland, you didn’t notice the figure behind you.
Neteyam was running to the hideaway wanting to see you. He stopped a small distance away seeing you sit by the pond. He felt a sense of deja vu seeing you daydream again. He slowly approached you calling your name softly not wanting to alarm you.
“y/n?”
You heard a familiar voice, your breath hitched not sure if you wanted to turn around. He saw that you flinched, now that his presence was known he walked towards you. He carefully sat down beside you dipping his feet in the pond. You weren’t sure how to react, you thought that it was best to look at the pond instead of him. He knew you wouldn’t talk first so he continued.
“I talked with Lo’ak last night.”
Your ears twitched, taking a small peak from the corner of your eye.
“We talked about you specifically. He spoke with much love about you, it only made me realise what my feelings really were. I love you, I do but it seems as though it is not the same love as Lo’ak holds for you.”
Finally fully facing him, still unsure what emotions were running through you - but your heart bloomed knowing Lo’ak really loves you. Neteyam speaks up once more but in a more delicate tone.
“I have missed my closest friend, and I am hoping that she can forgive me for everything I've done?”
It was like a rollercoaster of emotions that hit you all at once. Tears flood your eyes, you tackle him into a hug. The moment lasted a second before the both of you fell into the pond. You both fell with a scream now fully emerged in the water. You had completely forgotten that both of you were by the pond. Resurfacing, you turn to each other exchanging shocked looks before bursting out in laughter. That missing feeling that you felt earlier had now vanished, you felt complete.
“I have missed you too ma teyam”
It was his turn to now tackle you into another hug, again going underwater. The hug turned into wrestling, until the both of you became extremely tired out. Panting while crawling out of the pond, smiles crawling up your faces knowing that things have been fixed. Neteyam turned to you with a cheeky smile.
“So, I heard that my baby brother is courting you..?”
You felt your cheeks heat up, you slapped his arm.
“He told you already?? And without me? I am going to punch that skxawng”
A chuckle slipped through his mouth.
“I may have to come and watch that unfold”
You roll your eyes at him while shaking your head laughing lightly with him.
“Have you talked with Fipxe yet?”
Ah Fipxe, he wanted to talk to her but he hasn’t gotten the chance, being busy trying to make amends with you.
“Not yet, but I will.”
He took a long pause.
“I feel as though I need to hold off on a mate for a little while, especially with everything that has happened. With more responsibility now building up, it’s hard keeping up with everything going on”
Remorse covering your features, you could only understand to a limit when it came to the pressure he handled as future Olo’eyktan. You touch your fist to his shoulder pushing lightly.
“Come on, try not to dwell too much on all that. You can always rely on your siblings and me. You don’t always have to keep up that stoic act”
Eyes squinting as you give him a reassuring smile. Minutes passed as if they were seconds when talking with each other. Wanting to catch up on anything you missed. He couldn’t help but ask about earlier when your mother had mentioned you were choking on food. You could not believe your mother told him about that. When you explained it to him, you knew he would forever tease you about it. Everything was back to how it was. The replacement feeling now dispersed into thin air as if it never existed.
_
You had to eventually go back to the village knowing you guys would get too carried away with your talking. Neteyam went to go talk with Fipxe, wanting to work things out and tell her about his situation of not wanting a mate for the time being. She understood and they hugged it out. As for you, you went to Lo’ak. Spending the rest of the day with him, finally settling into a small grassy area, laying down looking at the stars. Arms draped across Lo’aks chest while you lay on top of his arm. A calming feeling when listening to his heartbeat. You look up to him, chin now resting on his chest.
“Oel ngati kameie”
His infectious grin grew wide, he leaned down to give you a chaste kiss on your lips. Finally pulling away, looking deep into your pretty eyes.
“Oel ngati kameie atan”
Everything was back in place.
#neteyam x reader#loak x reader#neteyam x oc#avatar the way of water#neteyam sully#loak sully#fluff#angst
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