#hokage bashing

[wolfgiselle]

I love this fic!

Young Sasuke Uchiha becomes a social justice warrior, this somehow leading to: his clan not being massacred and succeeding in their coup, the Hyuga branch family being freed and having their own coup, and Naruto gaining a supportive best friend and parental figure.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Necessary Changes

Words: 1189

For: @skykashi

Arguing with Koharu and Homura was an endless, exhausting task. As a Jonin Kakashi learned to pick and choose his fights carefully because the two elder’s were exceptionally skilled at wearing down their opponents. He’d seen shinobi older and more experienced than him cave to the elder’s demands, including Lord third. 

He never gave up because he didn’t  genuinely care about the argument, but because he ran out of energy to fight for his cause any longer. There had been many times growing up that he wished he’d had more power because it seemed like the only way that he would have the power to shut the elders up. Now, Kakashi had that power. He may not have wanted it when he first took the position of Hokage from Tsunade-sama, but Kakashi couldn’t deny the fact that he finally had a power he’d never had before.

“Shut up.” he groaned as he rubbed his forefinger against his temple in an attempt to will away the headache he could feel creeping up on him with every word the two elder’s said.

Koharu gasped, acting as though this was the first time in her life that a Hokage had told her to silence herself. 

“Lord Sixth-” Homura began, only silencing himself when Kakashi glared his way.

If it were anyone else Kakashi would insist that they drop the ‘Lord’. It was an honorific meant to refer to those who had earned other people’s respect. People like Tsunade and Jiraiya had earned the right to be referred to using that honorific, but not Kakashi.

He was just Kakashi. Nothing else. 

In this instance, though, he was willing to let it slide. If the two elder’s were going to insist on arguing with them he was going to allow them to remind themselves of just who it was they were trying to pick a fight with.

This wasn’t a fresh faced Jonin Kakashi arguing for a change in his team selection for a mission because he knew he could do the job better with Rin and Gai at his side.

It wasn’t Anbu Kakashi who was so broken and lost that he barely had a back bone to hold himself up let alone argue with the elder’s. 

The two of them weren’t picking a fight with someone they still out ranked. No, today they were picking a fight with Hokage Kakashi. A man who’d never wanted the responsibility of taking care of an entire village, but who’d come into the job determined to make changes to the system that had taken so much from him. 

“This is not up for discussion,” he lowered his hand onto the desk. “You can tell me how much you hate what I'm doing but I’ve already signed the paperwork and begun the process of retraining Konoha’s shinobi.”

“This is ridiculous,” Koharu straightened herself up, recovering from the shock of being told off. “Konoha is a village of shinobi. It is our job-”

tilting his head, Kakashi stared at her until . “Not ours,” Kakashi corrected her. “You two are no longer active shinobi. You have not been on a mission in over thirty years. If I could remove you from your positions I would but unfortunately even the Hokage does not have that power.” He’d checked and Tsunade had just sighed and shook her head. If there was anyone in Konoha who understood his desire to get rid of the elder’s it was her. “And in the past you would have been correct. When you were shinobi Konoha was in the midst of war. Killing our enemies may have been the only option. That’s not the case anymore.”

It couldn’t be. He wouldn’t allow the next generation to suffer through the guilt and regret that he had.

“Lord Sixth, you must see reason on this,” Homura continued to argue. “To change something so engrained into our society is foolish. Konoha’s shinobi are used to the way things are. They won’t change just because you ask them to.”

‘They won’t change that easily’ Tsunade-sama’s words echoed back to him. She’d been the first person he’d spoken to of his decision. Someone he could speak to who would tell him honestly what she thought and whether or not he should move forward. When he’d heard those words from her he’d prepared himself to give up on a better future, but then she continued speaking. ‘Then, of course, nothing that’s worth fighting for is ever easy’

Kakashi had a choice to make as Hokage. Which fights were the one’s he was willing to pick, and how far was he willing to dig his heels in and stand his ground?

For this one, the answer was simple to find.

No matter what anyone else said, or how much they fought him, he would stand his ground. This was a change that had to be made and there was no one in the village who would be able to stop him.

“They will learn,” he spoke calmly, keeping his voice steady even though he wanted to scream. “I don’t expect it to be an easy transition for anyone. There will be struggles and we will have to learn new methods.” the inclusion of ‘we’ was deliberate. Kakashi knew that it wouldn’t be just the shinobi under his command who would struggle with the new rule.

He had been raised to be a killer. Molded into the perfect ideal of a shinobi, ready to take a life at a moment’s notice. His hands were stained with the blood of countless enemy shinobi.

Learning to capture rather than kill would be just as much of a struggle for him, but it was something he was willing to put himself through so that the shinobi of Konoha knew he was serious about this change. 

“Now,” focusing back on the pair in front of him, he narrowed his eyes. “This conversation is done. I will not hear another word about it so unless you have something else to speak with me about I would suggest you leave. I still have a lot of paperwork to finish before my day ends.”

Homura opened his mouth but quickly rethought whatever it was he wanted to say and instead turned his back to Kakashi with a huff.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Lord Sixth,” Koharu sighed as she copied her friend’s movements, sparing Kakashi a glance over her shoulder. “The Hokage’s before you went through a lot to set the village up as it is. What you’re doing is dismantling all of that work.”

“Perhaps,” he sat back in his chair. “But they set up the village for war. I want this village to thrive and grow in ways they never could have imagined.”

He didn’t need to be known as the best Hokage Konoha had ever had. In fact, he’d resigned himself to being known as the worst Hokage in history as soon as he’d taken the seat and he was still prepared to take that title. 

If being the worst meant pushing his village into a brighter, more hopeful future, he would happily wear that title.

[tisajest]

You are newly orphaned and given to the nearest Wise Old Man to raise. He will be your guardian til adulthood and may or may not come to care for you, who would you rather that man be?

[pandelacreme]

tired of shounen relying on lineage as means to justify the main character's plot armour

[bomber-grl]

hi! I’m the anon who sent the naruto headcanons and I wanted to say that I loved them! I was wondering if you could please do more of them, always with team 7 and how the act at the beginning of a relationship/how they keep courting the male/gn reader, maybe how they act when they’re feeling jealous. Thank you again!

Relationship + Jealousy Headcanons

Pairing: Characters x Gn!Ninja!Reader (teammate)

Character(s): Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha

A/n : I’m glad you loved the first ones and I hope you enjoy these too :]

Naruto Uzumaki

Once you start dating he’s in between these two categories: clingy and shy

One second he’d be the hyperactive person we all know (and love) him to be

Going on about Hokage stuff, ramen or honestly anything that comes up in that empty brain of his

Then he’d suddenly become like weirdly self aware, stiff up, turn to you, and continue but with a blush and be more quiet about his interests than before

You could assume it’s him being insecure but he really just gets bashful sometimes

I mean cmon

He’s probs had a crush on you for years and when you get together- you’re like the only person who would even consider him as a potential partner (in his mind)

Especially with how people treated him

Gradually he does get comfortable again, I mean at one point you guys were friends and he was really open about everything

Well eventually it gets to that point again

Just that this time whenever he’s being bold, he turns to you all bashful and turns back away and continues rambling

He’s really stupid but in an endearing way

Naruto is obviously pretty strong, head on and stubborn- we all know that

So imagine some idiot bumping into you and spilling all your stuff

Well Naruto ain’t letting it slide and confronts the person

Whatever stage of life you guys are at, this will go sorta different

Yet weirdly the same-

If you guys are younger, like when team 7 is still the og team 7

Then he’d be stubborn and be really confrontational- going as far as insulting the person and ordering them to help pick your stuff up (whether they do it or not- I can’t say)

If you’re older/mid teens then he’s the same honestly 😭

No matter what he’d still have this “dumb” air around him and don’t think I’m saying it as a bad thing

Because it really is endearing

He’ll always have your back

This was all to say that he’s pretty protective of you

Not when it comes to fighting all that much cuz you probably have it covered (though he’d still be there)

But mostly just when someone disrespects you

Also he’s so sweet

He’ll try to bring you traditional gifts like chocolates or substitute that with something else you like

He’ll always present it to you bashfully and hope that you’ll accept

Despite the fact that you’re literally with him?? Hello?

Also please just indulge him when going to Ichiraku ramen for dates or lunch

Most times he does try to make it up to you if you don’t like those types of dates

Also when it comes to affection, it does take a while for him to fully accept it

He’d definitely be surprised by it and fluster a bit

Eventually he does like physical affection- quite a lot actually

He’ll specifically scout you out for a hug or even to ruffle his hair

Just do it, we all know how touch starved he is

Jealousy wise I’d imagine two different scenarios too

The first is that it’s super obvious that he’s jealous 😭

It’s all over his face and he’s being mean (?) to the person that’s all over you (or not, maybe just someone attractive that’s around you a lil too much)

He’d be pouting too

During this time Sakura or any onlookers at all really, would tell him to cut it out cuz of his more than obvious attitude (second hand embarrassment 4 them)

He’d be sort of immature too

Mocking the person and wondering if they’re really better than him

This is all obvious to you so you’d probably be the first to bring it up

Not that Naruto is bad at communication just that he didn’t think of it

The other way he acts is not jealous- that’s only because he’s oblivious to the other persons advances on you

So he’d be all chill w this person and nice and stuff

And this person is just confused on why blud is okay with it 😭

Sakura Haruno

She’s literally the best person to date ever

She’s also really shy when you start dating

Not like she’s afraid to be affectionate because she really does want to be, but sometimes she gets a bit bashful at the idea

When she decides to be bold and hold your hand or even goes for a hug -

If you even slightly tease her she’ll definitely give you a serving of her iconic punch- straight to the face too 😭

Scratch that, she’ll throw an uppercut

Despite this comedic scene, once you hug her back she’ll feel touched and it just becomes a sweet moment for the two of you

Most moments with her tend to follow the same pattern as above

Gift wise she’ll definitely be the type of person to make you sweet home made stuff or even goes as far as buying treats or stuff she knows you’ll enjoy

Shed be flustered when she gives it to you and maybe a bit tsundere if Naruto or Ino is there to tease her for it

She’d likely give it to you later in the evening when she knows you’re not too busy

Despite the fact that you’re lit together

And that’s when she gives it to you

The only way to react is being overjoyed at the gift and hugging her or giving her some affection, I don’t make the rules

And if you decide for this to be your first kiss? Inner sakura would definitely be there totally pumped up while irl she’s acting all like a “shy” girl 😭

After having been walked home by you and closed the front door, she would definitely celebrate the new achievement

Now when it comes to what Sakura expects of you, just be the bare minimum

I swear I can’t emphasize this enough, just be a decent person

Even though we all know she deserves more

Make sure to gift her stuff in return too, not just lousy stuff but something you know she’ll cherish

Doesn’t even have to be expensive just something you know she’ll like, even then it wouldn’t hurt for it to have been costly

She’s always thinking of you too

You’re on her mind literally every waking hour

She walks home after a busy day and walks by a stall/store window and sees something you might like? She figures it wouldn’t hurt to buy it

She’s deciding what to eat? She’ll go out of her way to get something you can both share/ something of bigger portion just to have an excuse to sit with you

Not even something she has to do since her presence alone is a gift

She’s so beautiful too

And when you tell her, either by just slipping up because you were too entranced by her- she’ll be super flustered and try to play it off as a joke or you being “weird”

She’ll definitely go to sleep thinking about it though

Twirling her hair and kicking her feet and all

Eventually dates are in order

I won’t lie, Sakura would definitely want you to take her out first

She’s not even opposed to taking you out for a meal and paying either

She just prefers for you to first

Whether it’s for reassurance or preference- well it’s really unclear

Anyways, you end up taking her to a nice restaurant with plenty of choices

She doesn’t mind if it’s a small or quiet one either

Just as long as it’s with you

I do think Sakura would be the jealous type, try to hide it, but then fail miserably

Let me explain

Let’s say a person comes up to you- or even someone you’re assigned to protect is being awfully flirty

Well she’ll be as calm as she can be but it’s so obvious with her harsh actions that she’s fuming

Inner Sakura definitely shows that too

She doesn’t blame it on you or anything so that’s good but she’d still be pissed

It’s super funny too because Naruto would be terrified of interacting with her because then she’ll just take it out on him

And Sai? Yea he doesn’t gaf, he’ll still approach her

Even if it ends in him be wrangled and Naruto joining in

Naruto just because he was nearby*

This behavior doesn’t stop until the person leaves

Afterwards Sakura just doesn’t like the person at all 😭

Sasuke Uchiha

Og nonchalant

Or not???

Really depends with him because he sort of has mood swings

On one hand he’s really focused on his goal of restoring his clan and yknow the whole Itachi bit

(Not really a mood swing)

But he can’t deny that you’ve captured his heart

Plus, with him and his behavior- you’re likely super stubborn or hella in love

Probably both

I mean you’re already dating at this point but nothing really changes much

He’s pretty straightforward but with information that’s private- he keeps it that way

It’s pretty sad (?) in a way

At first it could definitely come off as him not liking you point blank

But when you really think about it you know that can’t be the case

You’re like the only person he’s ever even slightly been nice to

Honestly I’d believe it if you’re the only one amongst the Konoha residents that has seen sasuke laugh or smile

Up to a certain point)

He may be cold and distant but he doesn’t mean to be

He realizes that too the more you go into your relationship

So he tries not to be so emotionally constipated and tries to show you in subtle ways that, yes, he actually does care

Quite a lot honestly

Not really subtle though because it’s a stark difference between how he normally acts

By the time sasuke has the courage to hold your hand- it’s by the time where couples would normally have been doing much more

Honestly really depends when you date him too

Because if your relationship starts at teams 7 era

No it didn’t, he’s too clouded by getting revenge to actually act on it

Maybe, just maybe during shippuden

Even then he’s extremely difficult and hard to be around sometimes

And if you’re together, his behavior could definitely be a dealbreaker and cause some fights in your relationship

Patience is definitely required if you wanna go down the sasuke route 😮‍💨

I know I said previously that sasuke is really distant for a good while even with you

but eventually, gradually, he does open up more

Like about his past, his motivations, private and more vulnerable stuff like that

Now without the angsty-ish hcs, interacting with sasuke affectionately also has varied reactions

More often than not he’ll be, what can best be described as, tsundere

You could try and hug him while he’s overthinking but he’ll just shrink away

- a reaction that shows you he doesn’t feel like being touched

Obviously it’s a boundary that’s respected by you but it could also cause you to feel upset too

Then, after he shrinks away you look up to him

more specifically his face

Immediately you can see blush dusted on his cheeks

He gets easily flustered by interactions like this, I mean I can’t even imagine how touch starved he is

Now comes the rare occasion where he’s fine with it

Even leans into your touch

It’s pretty rare but sometimes he’s just exhausted and craves your touch

What can I say

Jealousy wise he’s terrible

He’s extremely jealous but tries to act like he isn’t bothered by what’s happening at all

Might even distance himself even more from you if he feels jealous

Could even spiral to him overthinking and feeling like his attachment to you is a weakness

Which quickly disappears because then he goes over to you and yanks you away from the person in question

Also did I forget to mention? DONT TEASE HIM

I can emphasize this enough

Hugging him for the first time in a while and he accepts? Don’t say anything

Same with this

I know people usually like to tease their partners with “awww you’re jealous?” But that’s just antagonizing him

Causes him to trust you less too so a definite ‘not’

Also extremely possessive over you

Like he’s usually hostile to others for no reason but if you’re being targeted then he’s definitely pissed off

Especially if someone thinks they can even try to make moves on you

Definitely takes a lot of patience but just dont pity him I guess (?) 😭

If you’re caring or try to be sympathetic with him he’ll mistake it for pity so yea

He gets more comfortable as the relationship becomes more serious

[person25]

Organizing my thoughts/feelings towards Naruto ships and my thoughts/feelings on it (also disclaimer I can’t outright hate any ship, I can always get why people ship it so no bashing in this!)

Let’s start with Canon(if one’s not here then I have zero opinion on it):

ShikaTema: They’re widely liked among the fandom. I don’t hate them. They’re cute and had good development. I would never read a fic for them though so. Take that as you will.

NaruHina: Oh boy. Let’s get into this. So, the thing with them is I love that they could give each other the loving family that that never had growing up. I enjoy them as they are in canon. They’re just..not my favorite romance wise, ya know? I wouldn’t read a fic for them.

SasuSaku: Now these guys, I like these guys. I used to not like them so much but they’ve grown on me a lot. Their dynamic is good and does have development despite what others might say. I would read a fic for them.

NejiTen (they’re canon to me): They could’ve been so much more😭 The one ship with the obvious romantic tension(early on). Probably wouldn’t read a fic for them though.

Non-Canon Straight Ships:

ShikaIno: I think they could’ve grown together as people. Him getting over the sexism. Her getting over the obsession with her looks. Though, honestly, I don’t mind their canon interests it would’ve been interesting to see them together. Would read a fic if it fit specific standards.

LeeSaku: I can see why people ship them, but personally don’t like them romantically. Would not read a fic for them.

KibaHina: I like them. Misunderstanding trope would go crazy with these two. Wouldn’t read a fic but i sure as hell could write one.

NaruSaku: My loves. They could’ve been so much more😔 Though, with them, I love their dynamic in anyway shape or form so I don’t mind that they didn’t end up canon as long as they stay friends. Would read a fic for them.

Non-canon queer ships:

ObiKaka: I love them in a way that nobody else loves them. I like the idea of their og team being a love triangle in the actual way. Obito likes Rin, Rin likes Kakashi, Kakashi likes Obito. But of course, Kakashi couldn’t handle emotions bc of course. Would read a fic for them.

KakaIru: I love them in a married couple and their adopted child way. Not too crazy about them though. Would read a fic where they main pairing but would enjoy their romantic side-plot.

SakuHina: I have very complicated feelings towards this ship. So, the thing with them is I know most people only shipped them so that sasunaru’s wives were out of the way. I don’t like that. But if someone likes them for different reasons then ily. Wouldn’t read a fic for them.

SakuIno: FAV WLW SHIP😍 So much potential. Another pairing that could grow together + the comphet thing they got going on. I would read a fic for them.

ShikaNaru: Holy biscuits guys, I love them. Naruto’s first friend. The Hokage and his advisor?! I also love the idea of Chill Guy Shikamaru with the most unchill person in existence. Would read a fic for them.

SasuNaru: Very first queer ship I ever shipped (that’s crazy) back in the day. Of course I love them!! The bond they share is like no other in the show. They’re like, literally soulmates. Sun and Moon. As Sasuke said, his “ONE AND ONLY…friend!” Would read a fic for them.

MadaTobi: Oh my lord. I love them. Was very confused when i first discovered this ship. I definitely understand now. They’re so divorced in the war arc lmao. Would read a fic for them.

Team 7: As in, Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. This is a no brainer since I love all of these ships individually. It’s very “I’m bisexual and my girl and guy crushes started dating😕” They figure it out eventually. Would read a fic for them.

Boruto ships:

InoHima: They’re cute. Love a ship where the girl is stronger than the guy. The implied future canon ships in Boruto have a lot more development earlier on than the Naruto canon ones do so i’m really enjoying it. Though, I wouldn’t read a fic for them just yet (this may change).

BoruSara: By far my favorite straight ship in all Naruto media. Way up there in all time favs. Love an Uchiha x Uzumaki ship, but honestly, I don’t ship them this crazily because they’re the next best thing behind sasunaru. They have a completely different dynamic that i love. Would read a fic for.

Holy yap bro.

Anyway, if you wanna hear my thoughts on any other ships or a more in depth breakdown of any previously mentioned just let me know!

This post was mainly just me sorting through how i felt because i’ve had some pretty complicated relationships with some of these guys.

[garlicsunshine]

gai just wants to kiss everyone

who knows if I'm ever going to write this fic so here’s a rough and tumble first draft snippet from my “series of firsts” fic. Part one is Gai and Genma’s first kiss (225 words). Part two is Gai and Kakashi’s first kiss (375 words). Neither are dating at the time, it’s all teen party shenanigans. All wholesome, comedy heavy, no spice.

💚💚💚💚💚 ao3 💚💚💚💚💚

This first bit take place at a group celebration for Gai and some of the others passing the Chunin exams. (You can use whatever age HCs you want, for me Gai is 11 and Genma is 13.)

Gai: Someone dare me to kiss everyone here!

Rin and Genma: *split into peals of laughter*

Kakashi: that’s not how the game works. You can’t request your own dare, Gai.

Ebisu: besides, it’s not your turn anyway.

Gai: I know *dejected* I just want to do all the dares!

Raido: don’t worry you’ll get your fair share

Ebisu: now, Asuma, truth or dare?

Asuma: …truth

Anko: boring!!!

Rin: hey, don’t be rude!

Ebisu: Is the Hokage really your dad?

Asuma: yes.

Kurenai: we know that already.

Obito: you should have dared him to prove it.

Asuma: and how would I do that?

Kakashi: family pictures, blood test, family lineage scroll—

Raido: okay, okay, we get it, moving on. Gai—

Gai: YES!

Raido: I dare you to kiss Genma—

Gai: *blushing horribly* YES!!! *turns on Genma* CAN I KISS YOU!?

Genma: yeah, yeah *takes lollipop out of his mouth*

Raido: you could be a little more enthusiastic—

Genma: *turns to Raido, smirking* *passes lolli* hold this for me will you?

Raido: *pops it in his mouth*

Genma: *turns back to gai* “alright, come’er”

*Genma grabs the bandana around Gai’s neck and awkwardly smooshes their faces together. Gai plants his hands on Genma’s knees. Gai pulls back, beaming. Genma grins wide.*

Gai: ALRIGHT! Raido I dare you to kiss—

Raido: TRUTH! I choose truth!

This second bit takes place at another party, Kakashi has just made Jonin and others have just ranked up to Chunin. (Again, choose ur own age HCs, for me Gai is 13 and Kakashi is 11.)

Genma: Gai… I dare you… to kiss everyone here!

Gai: YES!!!

Everyone: *mixed reactions*

     Anko, Rin, Ebisu, Asuma: *laughing hysterically*

     Kurenai, Izumo, Kotetsu, Aoba: *laughing awkwardly*

     Obito, Kakashi: *groaning* not this again

Raido: just make sure everyone is actually okay with it first

Gai: *moves to kneel in front of Genma* Can I—

*Genma smashes their faces together then releases him*

*Gai, dazed, slumps in front of Ebisu*

Ebisu: turns his face, you may kiss my cheek

*Half of the people visibly relax*

Gai: Where would you like to be kissed!

Kurenai: *smiles* the lips is fine

Gai: And for you, Asuma!?!

Asuma: *aggressively maintaining eye contact* lips

*Gai kneels in front of Raido*

Raido: Cool your jets buddy, cheek for me.

Genma: homophobe.

Raido: *whips his house slipper at him* we’re dating!?!

*Genma, with a shit eating grin on his face, catches it*

*Gai turns to Aoba*

Aoba: uhh…

Raido: you can pass, it’s okay

Anko: *drags Gai over to her* bring it in baybee!

*Gai kneels in front of a beet red Kakashi*

Gai: what about you, Rival?

Rin: I think he wants lips.

*Kakashi glares at her*

Raido: you can always—

Kakashi: —lips.

*Gai leans forward, pushing kks scarf down and kisses him thru his mask. He is beaming when he pulls away. Kk averts his gaze, away from Rin, but catches Genma smirking, so looks away again, and Rin is grinning at him, he then snaps his head down to glare at the floor.*

Gai: And for you, Obito!?

Obito: *looks away, bright red* the cheek

Kakashi: *mumbles* coward

Rin: don’t be mean!

*Obito turns his head to yell at kk, ends up kissing gai on the lips*

Obito: aaah!

Gai: I AM SO SORRY! I should not have closed my eyes so soon!

*Genma falls into Ebisu, cackling*

Obito: ItsOkayJustMoveOnAlready …please…

Izumo: *bashful* cheek please

Kotetsu: um, pass *smiles*

Rin: finally! come here! *dramatic wet smack on the lips*

Genma: there? Satisfied?

Gai: Yes! NO! I will not be satisfied until I kiss everyone in Konoha! Everyone who wants to be kissed!

Raido: *snorts*

Rin: *claps gai on the back* a valiant goal worth pursuing! I'm sure you can do it!

Gai: thank you, Rin! I will do my best!

[luvcozy]

Reanimated Madara x Shy!Forest Goddess!Reader

@opheliasadventures1 :- Reanimated Madara with a shy and easily flustered forest goddess reader

A/N :- I gotchu with this one first, headcannons coming later I promise. Just bear with me, it's been a minute since I've written on Tumblr 😂

Warnings :- Flirting, mild language, Madara, gender specific reader (fem)

Word Count :- 1.2k

Life has a funny way of things doesn't it? One second you're living fine, alone, happy, content. The next your falling head over heals for a man that can kill you with one fatal jutsu. After that... You're mourning the loss of that man because of a negative spiral for power and revenge. And then your back to square one for god knows how long. The heart can be something so great and so hurtful in these times.

And much to your own dismay it really is. You lived in near solitude after the death of your late husband, Madara. You were fine with this, you couldn't get hurt if you didn't make any new connections. Plus... It's more painful to watch all that you know change and leave when you're immortal. It was like this for years, but until now you hadn't had a reason to leave your sanction till you heard it.

And not just by someone who just so happened to come across your home, but by the very Senju that killed what was your brother inlaw. Tobirama Senju, an old friend yes, but a sour one at the most. Seeing as he wasn't looking completely together told you enough that he was completely there. One of the Senju brothers needing your help wasn't uncommon from back when they breathed and bled, but this was far different. Being asked to stop your husband who is trying to make the world submit to an eternal genjutsu was something else.

And that's why you're here now...

Currently using your abilities to your advantage on the battlefield. You weren't near Madara yet, but you could tell he was there and what he was doing was sickening. Everyone had a show for it too, Hashirama fighting the Ten-tails, Saratobi and who you now know as the fourth hokage, Minato, fighting the reanimated, you and Tobirama on the other hand, were tracking the slippery Uchiha. A plan set and ready, all you needed to do was distract Madara, now how hard could that be?

"How hard is it to track him if you're able to sense things from the ground and roots?" Tobirama sneered at you while you leapt around the battlefield.

"Easier said than done, the less vegetation the harder it can be. So don't act all high and mighty like you can do it better." You rolled your eyes looking softly at the younger Senju as he sighed looking around.

"Just try and focus, the sooner we can seal him away the better-" just as he finished his sentence he was sent flying by a fireball sent straight for him. "Damn bastard! If you don't watch where you're shooting you'll hurt your own plans Madara!"

You had leapt back a good distance when the fireball had come close, earth and fire don't mix well in your conditions. When you scanned the area of the fireball you spotted the spiky haired Uchiha just as he seemingly teleported right before Tobirama. They both locked their hits stopping one another from bashing the others.

"And what do you know about plans? If I recall, you had almost died from two pathetic idiots all because they ate their way out of the Nine-tails." Madara jerked back against the white haired Senju and both backed away from one another. As he was about to call his susonoo again you had jumped at his side and by a miracle tackled him to the ground.

"You damn Shinobi pest never know when to quit-"

"Finish that sentence and so help me I'll make you remember what being slapped feels like." You looked down at him and his stunned face as he was mid jutsu sign. You grinned softly at him as you straddled his waist. "Hi baby.."

Madara just looked at you as he moved to sit up and slid you down to his lap. He looked down at you, scanning over you slowly as a smile formed on his face and his hands moved to your waist and face.

"So, you really weren't lying about being immortal then huh?"

"Why would I lie about that? We had plenty of moments that showed off the truth of that very question." You scrunched your nose a bit and furrowed your brows. Despite trying to look upset and angry, it was rather difficult when he was caressing one of your cheeks and rubbing his thumb along your cheekbone.

"Because, despite that, it just means I get to experience your eternal beauty~" he winked as he brought you to stand up with him. A heavy blush formed on your face while he began laughing at your reaction, his armour shaking as he did.

"Cheeky move Mada.." you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face away into him whilst he hugged you tight to him.

Silence fell over the two of you while you held one another. Taking in one anothers present, this alone made your grip on him tighten as your eyes began to burn, before long you had a small stream of tears rolling down your face. Madara moved you away, grabbing your chin and making you look up into his shining red eyes of his mangeko sharingan. Before you could say anything he only traced his thumb over your lips, hauling your words in your throat.

"I know, I know, my sweet girl... I know..." He spoke softly as things started to come to a stop around you. You shook your head and pulled him close again as your lips met in a tender and longing kiss.

Your hands made their way to the sides of his face and in his hair. As the kiss broke away you heard someone clear their throat. You both turned to look at Hashirama scratching the back of his neck with an awkward grin, Tobirama next to him looking away as irritated as ever, and Saratobi looking away while shaking his head with a small smirk.

"Glad to see your love is as strong as ever!" Hashirama looked at the two of you and rocked on his heels before Tobirama smacked him over the head.

"How about instead of your nonsense you let them talk." Tobirama glared at him before turning to you and Madara before nodding to you directly. Madara lifted his brow as he glared at the three in front of him before looking back down at you.

"Heh- Mada, I love all that you do and all that you've done...but this isn't part of that. You're hurting what was our home. The place we built back then, look at all of this. I've watched it all change and grow and I ask that you don't destroy it. Madara I want to watch what we did grow till I can't no longer, will you grant me that? Please..?"

Madara looked at you with a panned look till it softened, he wrapped his arm around your waist making you blush. As he leaned down and planted a kiss to your forehead.

"I suppose it isn't very fair to make you watch your- our home crumble, especially with you watching over it my sweet girl." He pressed another soft kiss to your head while he looked at his fellow reanimated Shinobi and back down at you.

"Even if I'm gone, I'll be close to you, I promise."

"I know you will Mada, I never doubted your words, not once." You pulled him into another hug that he returned without hesitation and held each other tightly knowing what was to come.

"I love you, my God of the Uchiha."

"I love you too, my Goddess of the land and earth."

[starlightmeissa]

Love the new chapter! I really love all the dynamics, especially Jiraiya walking in and accidentally ruining his own dynamic with them. I really get the feeling that it never occurred to him that his students could *not* trust him. Like, I don't think it even occurred to him that his students wouldn't already respect him and be vying for his attention like he did in his old team. You mentioned him seeing Seiko as like Orochimaru due to the genius thing, and im just. So curious. Was he doing the immature equivalent thing of trying to one up a kid as an f u to his childhood rival? Does he want Seiko to like/respect him to feel vindicated? That's going to end interestingly. I wonder what it looks like from the outside, that his team watch their backs around him and eye him like he'll do something, and he thinks it's normal. Do they they think it's funny that a Sanin can't get a bunch of kids to like him? Are they concerned that there is no teacher student bonds forming like is traditional and expected? What does it mean in konoha society for a genin student to fundamentally not trust their teacher? For the entire team to stand with them and close ranks with their Sensei on the outside? Idk I feel like people are going to form Opinions about it

LONG WINDED RESPONSE! warning you all now! will contain spoilers related to my characterization of jiraiya!

I really get the feeling that it never occurred to him that his students could not trust him.

jiraiya doesn't really understand what position these kids are coming from, nor does he understand on any deeper level What It Means to be a jonin teacher. or a teacher worthy of trust in general. this isn't me bashing him, i think that while he CAN be a fun and engaging teacher, he doesn't really respect the impact he has on these kids' lives.

with his sensei he already respected him simply because he was the hokage. and, on top of that, hiruzen was an agreeable affable person. he commanded respect easily and his students trusted him not to lead them astray (at least while they were genin). jiraiya has taken this dynamic for granted and believes that to be the default. it is not.

as for the ame orphans, he was ALL THEY HAD. his mercy in choosing to teach them ingratiated them significantly more to him from the get go. this isn't the case for his genin team. his genin team just got some random guy who everyone says is strong, and now they're having to feel him out for if he's a good person and good teacher.

Was he doing the immature equivalent thing of trying to one up a kid as an f u to his childhood rival? Does he want Seiko to like/respect him to feel vindicated? That's going to end interestingly.

for jiraiya, i think what he did was totally normal and fine. yeah she's just a pipsqueak genin, but she's advanced for her age. she can handle a little spar.

in my head, jonin and chunin do use spars as a private space to check on each other, to check each other's loyalties too. shinobi are always more honest with a weapon in hand, the saying goes. so jiraiya just sees this as a opprotunity to privately ask if seiko knows what he and the hokage thinks she knows.

spoiler:

the hokage did not ask jiraiya to figure it out in the way jiraiya did. the hokage just mentioned that he suspected she knew, and that he wanted to know if she did or not. that sort of thing is important to accommodate for considering no one else in kushina's age group is aware of what she is. ill go over this in a later chapter, but there's your answer to if the hokage is trying to scare poor seiko half to death.

What does it mean in konoha society for a genin student to fundamentally not trust their teacher? For the entire team to stand with them and close ranks with their Sensei on the outside? Idk I feel like people are going to form Opinions about it

:)

ty for your ask!!

i love getting asks its like i got a little letter from a friend who lives far away and who's asking after me and my children's health. very very fun. lmk if you have any other ideas or thoughts about the kids! or of the side characters like the ino-shika-cho trio. im excited to write more of them.

[kishimotomasashi]

Alright, Uchiha Clan oppression longpost

This is the unavoidable, and often central, topic people tend to surround their Naruto politics takes on, and is as a result a big, ugly discourse-generator. It's also a subject I'm definitely always thinking about when it comes to Naruto as a noted Sasuke stan, and my thoughts on it have changed gradually over the years. I'm making this post to share what my current interpretation on "how and why the Uchiha Clan were oppressed" is.

Before I do that though, notice on what this post is not:

I'm not writing a "discourse ender", a take meant to be spread around with the claim of being the only correct interpretation of events. This is a post I wrote to share the exact way I rotate an aspect of the manga in my mind, and to convince people that looking at it from this angle is interesting. Basically: it's not that serious, I think about this because it's fun.

This isn't a "character-bashing" post or whatever either, so like if you agree with what you read here, I suppose I can't stop you from using those infamous "anti-[X]" tags, it's just that making a post that warrants them has never been my intention.

Along with that, I do want to address the by now very well established fact that Naruto the series is Not Very Good, and has glaring inconsistencies in its writing. The Uchiha Clan drama is definitely not exempt from this, and in its case the failures in Kishimoto's writing usually show in inconsistent power-scaling, in which we're made to accept weird leaps in logic (how does a 13 year old get rid of what we're told is one of the most powerful and feared clans internationally?) That being said, those particular inconsistencies are kind of irrelevant to this particular post, and don't much change the fact that the Uchiha Clan Massacre did happen. I'll be taking it as a given that if you're reading this, you're accepting to suspend your disbelief of those events on a technical level, and are more interested in how I make sense of it all more on the diegetic social/political level.

With that settled, we can get to the important part now:

The most popular take (as far as I've personally seen) on the events that led to the Uchiha Clan's downfall is the one that takes Madara at his word: the Senju have been oppressing the Uchiha since Konoha's conception, and Tobirama becoming the 2nd Hokage gave him the opportunity to put the Uchiha in a more socially disadvantaged position (police force), gradually earning them the villagers' ire, which was the catalyst for their eventual genocide.

This interpretation works if the end goal of your analysis is to say "Tobirama really fucking sucks". I don't think this conclusion is an unreasonable one, since Tobirama's hostility towards the Uchiha is great enough that he can callously tell a 16 year old genocide survivor that if his clan "self-destructed for the sake of the village, so be it". However, to me, the circumstances surrounding the Uchiha Clan are much wider-encompassing and more fascinating than narrowing their fate to a single man in fan meta written to convince you to hate him, so it goes without saying that I don't think "this is all Tobirama's fault" is a very interesting lens to look at this from.

I also don't buy the argument that making the Uchiha cops was (originally) to their detriment. We'll get back to that in a bit. I suppose this depends on how you look at Tobirama's character, but I think that when he said he made the police force as a sign of trust and to give the clan something useful to do in Konoha, he was being genuine. Arguing the opposite requires you to either believe that a law enforcement order could ever be in an oppressed position by default, or that Tobirama created a fundamentally useless new institution because he just hated the Uchiha that much. I think the former is a weird thing to argue if you're trying to be Leftist about all this, and the latter is a very ungenerous interpretation of Tobirama's character in which his own "racism"/pettiness overshadows his more utilitarian instincts to ensure that the village his brother built was safe and functioning. Obviously you could interpret that, but that leads us back to the "everything is Tobirama's fault" take, that I already mentioned I find lame as hell.

So then, how do I think the Uchiha Clan was oppressed? Because I think they indisputably were, or I wouldn't be making this post. Well, I think it was less "The Senju/Tobirama have always wanted to lord over them and wanted them dead", and more: they became gradually more socially disadvantaged during the era of Hidden Villages, with the consecutive world wars creating a souring global opinion on kekkei genkai clans.

(I'm gonna base my arguments primarily on what we see happen in the manga, and I'll add in some information from the fanbooks/databooks that weren't contradicted by what we see happen in Kishimoto's canon)

Let's start with what we know, definitely, that canon tells us:

Kekkei genkai clans are discriminated against to a very high extent, leading to things such as their mass slaughter (eg, the Uchiha Clan obviously, but also kekkei genkai clans like Haku's clan in the Land of Mist), and a vulnerability which puts them in positions where they're likelier to be targeted and kidnapped (eg, Hinata, but also Orochimaru having a whole criminal entreprise built on kidnapping and experimenting on people possessing kekkei genkai).

The trend for their discrimination is in being scapegoated. When Haku talks about the genocides in the Land of Mist (I refuse to call it the Land of Water sorry it sounds so stupid), this is how he describes them:

(chapter 59)

basically, it's not shinobi as a whole who are badly seen even though all sorts of them were likely participating in those wars: it's kekkei genkai clans in particular. Compare this to the Uchiha Clan being blamed for the Nine Tails attack (I mean one of them certainly was responsible, but was entirely unaffiliated with the rest of the clan) and being roped off to the edge of the village as a result.

Kekkei genkai clans are also frequently described by characters as being a bit "wilder" and more violent than usual shinobi. Tobirama calling the Uchiha "cursed", Kushina describing the Uzumaki as being "a bit savage", and Kakashi introducing us to the concept of kekkei genkai initially with these fun visuals:

(chapter 25)

The thing that's interesting about all this is the context in which it exists: the shinobi villages aren't technically "nations", but I think it would be accurate to liken their possessiveness of their secrets and paranoia regarding outside intrusion + conception of themselves as unified cultural entities + incredibly harsh treatment of dissidents (becoming a rogue is essentially a death sentence) to nationalism. There's an intentse "in-group vs out-group" feeling here.

Not to mention that canonically that shinobi have always been tools of imperialism for greater powers. While Hashirama's initial dream was to put an end to that, it eventually became corrupted; there was already discontent regarding land and resource allocations during his tenure as Hokage, and while we have no idea why the 1st War started, we know that by the time we're on the 2nd one, Konoha had become a tool for the Land of Fire's imperialist expansion (and was apparently was expanding its influence as a military village, too).

(chapter 436)

Basically, the "in-group vs out-group" conception that had once solely been clan-centric widened, and became this new concept of shinobi villages.

This is important because nationalistic sentiment inevitably rises during war; as a result, there's be a sharper eye for who'd turn traitor, who wasn't supporting the military effort, who would endanger their nation/village, etc. With this, there would be greater suspicion directed towards kekkei genkai clans, because they're more "genetically predisposed" to being unpredictable, because they would appear more loyal to their own than to the whole of the village, because they were the likeliest to turn traitor, and so on.

This would be a gradual process going on since the 1st War, but I believe that the 2nd War was where this kickstarted into becoming so much worse, because that one saw the destruction of Uzushio. It was a village composed entirely of a single clan, didn't bend to any of the big 5, and the Uzumaki were "savage" and had abilities that were greatly feared. It would be interesting to consider the idea that their associations with Konoha would have done them more harm than good here, too, given that Konoha was the Big Bad in the 2nd War and an alliance with them would not have been viewed positively.

It's thinking about all this in context, where nationalism was at its peak, where there's an idea that genetic chakra abilities impair swathes of people from being regular functioning shinobi like everyone else, is how we can imagine the Uchiha were discriminated against. They had another disadvantage to them as well, given that one of the first deadly attacks committed on Konoha was done by one of them. If we want to go back to the police force argument, it would be interesting to consider the idea that while it had been a good position for them at first, the utility and influence of the institution gradually eroded over time, and by the time the era where the massacre happened came along it became nearly meaningless since most of its original functions had been assigned elsewhere; as the kekkei genkai clan discrimination rose, the Uchiha also fell victim to it and their influence within the village significantly reduced out of fear of them.

The surveillance and the sequestering of the Uchiha Clan came after two important events; the first being the 3rd Great Shinobi War, and the second being the Nine Tails' attack on Konoha which happened barely a year post-armistice. Konoha was barely recovering from global armed conflict when half of it was destroyed in that attack; tensions are high, the Hokage is dead, and so the village saw an incredibly convenient scapegoat in the Uchiha clan.

So... yeah, that's how I see it! I find this a more fun interpretation than just pointing fingers at individual characters, because it allows me to consider the wider worldbuilding of the Naruto world, and also doesn't assume the Uchiha's position was especially unique and the end-be-all of all the problems with Naruto's politics. It's certainly important, but it's part of a greater network of problems too!

[marvelmymarvel]

Calming

Hashirama Senju x Reader

Synopsis: He carried the world's weight on his shoulders, and you were there to calm him down when it became too much.

Naruto Masterlist: Here

Hashirama's arms tightened around you, pulling himself deeper into your embrace. The two of you were currently lounging on your couch, him between your legs with his head on your chest. His shoulders were tense but slowly relaxed as your fingers ran through his tangled hair.

"Bad day?"

He groaned at your question, not wanting to talk about how much stress he was under. A soft smile rose on your lips as he moved to snuggle deeper into your neck, sighs falling from his lips as you continued playing with his hair. "You're so pretty, Hashi. I'd love to braid your hair" Your tease was full of adoration, and you waited for him to argue with your suggestion, but nothing came.

You grabbed a section, fingers smoothing out the knots as you began weaving the pieces together. "God's that feels good, my love," his voice rumbled through you, and your pulse quickened. He pressed kisses against your skin, "You make me feel good."

"You're gonna make me blush, Hashirama," you whined into the crown of his head, trying your best to hide the bashfulness he was causing. He moved his head to get a better look at you. His brown eyes were heavy with exhaustion but sparkled with love nonetheless. Your smile turned sheepish as he pushed up from his position to hover over you. "Hashi"

Hashirama's brown hair fell over his shoulders, the braid coming with it. He paused, head turning slightly to take in the braided portion of his hair. His eyes shot back to yours before a knowing smirk ghosted his lips, "Do you like my hair being braided?" You didn't say anything but averted your gaze from his. He looked gorgeous, more than he should legally be allowed to be. His fingers brushed softly against your cheek, cooing at the heat radiating from it. "You do like my hair this way…"

You let out a huff, growing tired of being teased with soft gestures and sweet words. "Oh, come now. No need to be embarrassed. I find your love to be quite adorable."

His fingers dug lightly into your cheek, pushing on them so your eyes were forced to lock with his.

You sat up, shoving your burning face in his neck, hoping to hide from him. "Hashirama, please" Your pleading fell on deaf ears as he tried to pull you away from him, "Come now, my love, I want to see your beautiful face-"

"I'm going to die of embarrassment" You didn't know how it was possible, but Hashirama was able to take your confident demeanor and make you shy with just a look and a string of words. Deciding to give you some relief, Hashirama stopped pushing and pulled you deeper into his body before moving so your positions were flipped.

You let out a content sigh as you snuggled into his neck, thankful he gave you a chance to catch your breath. Hashirama's fingers began to run through your hair as his heart hammered in your ear, both sensations calmed you, and you began to nod off. "Thank you for being my rock, Y/n" You hummed at that before nuzzling into his chest, curling up against him as you prepared for a sleep full of beautiful dreams. "Always and forever."

Hashirama smiled at your whisper, eyes closing as he, too, began to drift off. While he didn't like being so stressed and had even contemplated passing on the job to his much more capable younger brother, he couldn't deny that he didn't love these moments. The moments where you managed to ease away the pain and frustrations that being Hokage brought upon him. You didn't do anything special, you just held and cuddled him till he was no longer rigid. But it meant everything to him. You meant everything to him. His lips morphed into a peaceful smile, all worries now gone from his system. He loved you. He loved you more than you'd ever know.

Because you brought him peace when he didn't know he needed it.

[narutosway]

I cannot believe that people are still bashing on Sakura for not recognizing the fourth Hokage

For one; she's in a freakin war a lot goes on and so little to react to everything that is going on she focuses on one thing and that is healing people

Two; She never knew just like everyone else outside of previous gen to keep secret about Kurama's attack and the fact of the matter just because one lives in the same village doesn't mean everyone knows everyone

Three; Doesn't obviously know Naruto's birth parents since he was an orphan and wasn't very close to him until being on the same team as him and just like Sasuke not knowing at all of Naruto's parents

Four; She does know the Hokage(s) yes she mostly only knows of the third since he was the one who was there in her generation and possibly like everyone else in the village only mainly the parents knows about the fourth's sacrifice especially in the front lines lead Shinobi

No one else in the same generation as Sakura doesn't know who Minato is either but you don't hear at all about that only with Sakura since she was the one to react the most when Minato made his appearance

[joltai-showa]

ah shit here we go again, let's reread Naruto again

reading it in official English translation for the first time and really have no idea if it's good or not lol (I've been translating MHA for 5 years straight and official English translation from the same company fucking sucks)

chapter 1 is huge as hell, which is normal for Shonen Jump, mangaka needs to introduce the concept and characters and all yada yada

what I find really funny about Naruto is a lot of the stuff is written backwards (meaning, we have some stuff introduced early on, but then more shit is slapped on top) to the point that pre-Shippuden things directly contradict what is going to be stated later. Kishimoto most of the time gave approximately zero shit about things outright not making sense and, y'know, you gotta respect him for that, cause I don't have balls like that

(unfortunately when writing anything canon-compliant in Naruto you have be mindful of things being rewritten and outright not making sense💀)

Anyway enough yapping, very first page is already ripe with shit that is going to be retconneced later

Firstly, description of Kurama's abilities. Naruto's orange puppy certainly can not start tsunamis and landslides with just his tails, lmao, this is something closer to Ten-Tails. If the terrain allows it, sure, I can see him starting a landslide, but orange puppy isn't starting anything in the seas, he's got siblings with lesser number of tails for that haha.

Secondly, the entire second paragraph feels like a fever dream honestly. "Suffering people gathered the shinobi clans to fight this menace" = Konoha was founded as a way to stop the endless tiny conflicts between the shinobi clans living in the Land of Fire (why have small-scale conflicts between each other when you can have literal world wars with the guys from beyond the border lol, jk, I know Hashirama wanted a peaceful future for the kids, but ultimately hidden villages system solves none of the issues of the previous system besides "7 year olds die on the battlefields" because now we have "15 year olds die on the battlefields"), Kurama literally wanted nothing to do with humans (as far as we know) during the warring states period, he was literally frolicking in some meadows and eating weird twins from to-be Kumogakure, got captured by Uchiha "read some mossy stone that my clan carried for years for some reason and went totally delulu" Madara, was used to attack Konoha, got bitch slapped by Hashirama a few times before Mito stuffed him into her stomach. And people are surprised why is the orange puppy so evil most of the manga lmao. But anyway, the entire sentence also implies that Fourth Hokage had some sort of mega-epic showdown with the evil puppy... while in reality it was something closer to Konoha's nuke being stolen by a delusional angry fourteen year old and Minato had to simply recapture the nuke again.

anyway, that was a long-ass rant lol

love the early style, it's so goofy, Kakashi is especially wonky in it

first question: why are we tying up school kids after they are caught for their terrible pranks? what is the educational idea behind this thing? like, i get doing that on the training field, imitating combat and all, but why do the same thing in the classroom? is it supposed to encourage the kids to learn how to run away after being tied down by some ropes?

(if that's the case i guess i know at least one academy student who always failed this task, yeah, looking at you, rin, i'm sorry, i can't hold myself back from bashing that thing, lmao)

anyway, back to the manga, i really love how it mentions that Naruto flunked this exam two times already (and it's not stated how often this exam is, so I guess yearly?), and only graduates at like 13, which is supposed to be a super late age and Naruto is such a lazy bum for that... but then you realize the funny fact that Naruto's classmates aka "genius" Sasuke, "book-smart" Sakura, team Asuma and team Kurenai are all the same age as him. Lmao. This isn't the first time Kishi will forget about this silly thing called "timeline".

let's... not adress this gag.

AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH.

Naruto, allow me to introduce you to this wonderful concept called "nepotism". It's quite common in your village. Second Hokage was First's younger brother, Third Hokage was the student of the Second, Fourth Hokage is the student of a guy who studied under Third, Fifth is literally both the granddaughter of First and a student of Third, Sixth is the student of Fourth and you, Naruto, is the son of Fourth and the student of Sixth.

I absolutely love how early Naruto is trying to be this story about this poor underdog when in reality our MC is the nepobaby to ever napobaby lol. I think only Iwa beats Konoha at having the most absurdly nepotistic system for Kage, because 3 out of 4 Tsuchikage are directly related to each other through blood and the one guy that isn't happens to be the teacher to Third.

(I do remember there was so bullshit about Kazekage clan or something but I think it's pretty much only a title and only Rasa and Gaara are actually related to each other through blood)

>badge of adulthood

>given to literal 9-13 year olds who can't throw a kunai in a straight line

yeah, you know what, this actually checks out.

you immediately know that mizuki is fucking evil when he says "nah let him pass iruka, he managed to produce a single shitty clone, he's totally not gonna be killed after 30 seconds on the battlefield" like WHAT IS THIS SYSTEM OF EDUCATION

also another good question to the world building: does Konoha have other schools besides Academy? Like, what do kids do if they don't want to pursue military career? Their parents hopefully teach them how to read and count and that's it? I mean, Konoha is a military settlement at the end of the day, but they can't be teaching only guys who will be throwing knives at each other?

absolutely nothing, naruto, lmao. you were born a nepobaby, prepare to have an endless supply of chakra for any tricks of yours and the best senseis Konoha has to offer.

is the Hokage building supposed to be their residence as well? huh.

also let's not talk about this gag.

comically large kurama jpeg

[ino-supremacy]

Ino Supremacy Birthday Weekend

Thank you to everyone who participated in our event! Below is a list of all the amazing fics that our server members made for Ino's Birthday Bash!

And be sure to check out @mayskalih for the amazing Ino art she contributed!

Baby Boy by cherryberry12 Rating: E Summary: “Call me Miss Ino,” she orders, withdrawing her hand. “I’m not your mother.” Boil the Frog by Renaerys Rating: E Summary: Kakashi and Ino try to act normal in public. It lasts about as long as the Fourth Hokage’s reign. Prompts: Age Gap, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Ino sends horny thoughts to the Hokage. Drabble Dump, Ch 22 by VulgarAssassin Rating: E Prompts: Ino keeps sending horny thoughts to the Hokage during the meeting. Hold Me Down (and Breathe Me In) by twofortea Rating: E Summary: Sakura wants to be there for Ino after the war. This isn't what she had in mind. Prompts: Post-War if all else fails, persist by carnyvale Rating: T+ Summary: Kiba fell in love with a girl in a coffee shop. In Ino Veritas by Green_Riot Rating: G Summary: Ino confesses her feelings after drinking too much. Prompts: In Vino Veritas Ino's Therapy Practice: Now Accepting Clients by lightweaver Rating: E Summary: Ino's got a pretty interesting modality to cure a shinobi of their fears. Shisui's just helping her out. Prompts: Femme Fatale Only Ino Knows the (Paterni)Tea by Maiika Rating: T+ Summary: When Ino discovers her pregnancy, she goes through stages of emotions while coping with the upcoming change in her life. During that time, her baby’s paternity is a mystery until the very end. Prompts: Knocked Up, Secret Relationship Practical Lessons by lightweaver Rating: E Summary: It was just supposed to be another boring company party. And then, Ino realized that Itachi was drunk. Was this finally her chance to fuck her boss? Prompts: In Vino Veritas Touch-a-Touch-a-Touch-a-Touch Me by twofortea Rating: T+ Summary: Four drinks in, and Ino can’t stop staring at Hinata’s boobs. Prompts: In Vino Veritas When She Finally Died by lightweaver Rating: E Summary: Karin hated tourists. Especially the rich and famous ones. So when she was forced to lead a famous model on the trail - and give her a private tour - she decided that she wasn't going to let this Ino Yamanaka leave without breaking her heels. Karin may well have met her match. Prompts: Enemies to Lovers Win some, Lose some by PrincessxGarbage Rating: T+ Summary: Post-war bar flirting drabble for Ino's B-Day 2023 Prompts: Post-War

[sueske]

Betting on how Sasuke fell first. Re-reading the earlier chaps and it is so clear how oblivious Nart is lol. And I just noticed Sasuke didnt really know/wasn't aware somebody pushed Nart into kissing him?

All he saw was Nart staring so intensely and all of a sudden Nart leaned in and kissed him. To think Sasuke was fine and didnt hold it against Nart later on?? And he was already observing Nart from behind?? And noticing the silly things Nart is doing ? Being bashful whenever he initiates things and actively seeks Nart out himself?? Sasuke, the top of the class, would know the consequences of the test and has a goal of vengeance, yet he only needed one look of Nart and he instantly gave his lunch? He honours Nart's goals of becoming Hokage before anyone else? He actually believes in Nart's determination, and they were 12.

And to think that the moment he realizes he needs to be stronger and the cost of it is cutting off the ones closest to you: Naruto, who isn't even related to him, qualifies and is the only one he has to cut off?? If he is just a "friend" to Sasuke's pov, then it would be as easy as saying one line to Naruto like what he did to cherry girly and it would be just as easy to walk away after the fight.

But no, clearly Sasuke weighs them differently, and somehow this gremlin of a child is the one. Anyone should know by now how the Uchiha obtains their eye, and knowing that Nart is the trigger is a big deal. It is so simple too:

He loves him. And imagine you had to kill the one you love at the cost of avenging your family. It is gonna hurt like a b*tch.

(Note: notice that cherry girly got no impact on him, he obtained it 3 times Bec of that gremlin - and bruv this dude ain't even related to him idk why there is some ppl are not getting it??)

Sorry it's long now. We seriously needed Sasuke POV. Can you imagine how the gay would be very obvious?

it's not only that sasuke didn't hold the kiss over naruto, but he literally thought about it during the land of waves before he died as part of a collection of other fond memories he had with naruto. plus during vote1 as well. i guess people say sasuke thinks the kiss was accidental cuz of that databook, but databooks are not canon and the information in them can be pretty much discarded unless it's directly quoting kishimoto himself (and even then he contradicts himself sometimes), so this is where i disagree with that take. i think in text though not outrightly acknowledged by sasuke, there's enough evidence to see that sasuke did know it was accidental.

we did get sasuke's pov, we got to see what sasuke values in naruto (and vice versa), how he vows to love him like his family. we get to see even before the story even started how sasuke was looking after naruto, how he felt relief in naruto, this post (which i think about pretty much every day) shows how it was naruto's desperation and humanness that resonated with sasuke. they just fit together like pieces of a puzzle. they are each other's rule and only exception. sasuke will do everything to get power except kill naruto and naruto will not go back on his word no matter what except when it comes to sasuke. they are each other's strength and weakness...

the lunch thing does get to me... but sasuke's kindness towards naruto was established form the very beginning. since even before team 7 even formed naruto and his gremlin actions were weighing on sasuke's mind. i don't see others talk about this moment as much, but in chapter 3 sasuke was annoyed naruto jumped him during lunch time and tied him up.

afterwards he was like 'where's naruto' marching around trying to find him but then sakura went on her 'naruto doesn't have parents' speech which sasuke reallyyyyyy did not tolerate. and then after defending naruto when they meet up again (naruto is kinda scared) sasuke's countenance is changed from previous scenes, he's kind about the situation instead.

he doesn't ask why naruto did what he did, he didn't tell him off for it at all even though he was annoyed about it before and justifiably so, instead he literally just hints ? that naruto should improve his subjugation skills as a ninja if he wants it to work against other ninja LOL (which i find kinda funny considering he did seem to struggle against it for enough time for naruto to do all that and even go to the bathroom).

sasuke's sharingan was linked 3 times to naruto, but in the end he got the mangekyou when he learned the truth about itachi. and sasuke doesn't even call sakura a friend, he only referred to her in the context of teammates, whereas with naruto he is very particular about how he refers to him as.

sasuke thinks and says all these things but people don't get it because they'd rather believe their own hcs as fact than sasuke's own thoughts and words which all point to how much he loves naruto. sasuke's words and actions can sometimes be at odds with each other, and people take that at face value without thinking critically and asking why and asking what is actually true and what is not. especially when everything is made abundantly clear by the time vote2 comes around by the man himself. for example he said he broke off all bonds during the reunion, but we see this is false via sasuke's words and thoughts and actions towards naruto, but for the rest of konoha this is true, again confirmed by sasuke's thoughts and words and actions.

[alienatedtsuki]

NaruSasu/SasuNaru, but they are smol (genin and younger) Part III

It's All In The Kiss (And Bondage) by Dhampir (Dhampire) @dhampir17 Sasuke never looked at Naruto as anything more than an annoyance like all his other peers, but a kiss and a little bondage, is about to change all that. - Sasuke thinks Naruto proposed to him with a kiss and then bondage in less than 72 hours. He stalks Naruto for a bit, understands that they are not so different and that he quite likes a blond(Sasuke likes this little sunshine A LOT). No smut, just kisses. (Writing is fantastic, but you should know that already if you've read Secret Love; if you haven't read it yet - go ahead and read it!) SasuNaru/NaruSasu | Protective Sasuke | yandere Sasuke | Smart Naruto | Fluff | Engagement | Love Confessions | Puppy Love | First Kiss | Sakura Bashing (48,522)

Shinobi Always Follow the Rules by SasuNarufan13 Little seven-year-old Sasuke has a very important task to accomplish if he wants to stay together with his best friend: ask Naruto's dad, the feared Hokage, for his son's hand in marriage! - I love this trope a lot, A LOT. Super sweet and cute, serious Sasuke asks Minato's permission to marry Naruto. SasuNaru/NaruSasu | Puppy love | Tooth-Rotting Fluff | Engagement (3,131)

The Way to a Man's Heart by littledust Sasuke has no idea how to woo Naruto. - Sasuke doesn't know how to ask Naruto out, but there is no need for this. SasuNaru/NaruSasu | Puppy love | Tooth-Rotting Fluff (711)