#ho was basically my personality for a decade

[maverick-werewolf]

Daily Werewolf Thoughts - Days 17-23

Day 17- So how about this idea that werewolves are unholy? It's a load of bunk, if you ask the old legends. That's right, even in the Early Modern Period as werewolves became associated with satanic magic, the werewolf itself still wasn't unholy - because the werewolf was a victim. And older than that, they simply weren't at all.

Traditionally, werewolves were never considered unholy and, in fact, were often considered associated with God. We see this in the Werewolves of Ossory, among others, and if you believe Thiess or Thies of Kaltenbrun, the Werewolf of Livonia, there were also the Hounds of God who became werewolves and went into Hell to retrieve grain stolen by demons and battle Satan and his witches*. True, he was basically considered a crazy man, but it's a fun concept to discuss. Likewise, werewolves in antiquity were never turned by Satan, as he does not possess such power. God, however, could turn people into werewolves for various reasons (I will discuss this further when I talk about the Werewolves of Ossory, one of my favorite tales). Those who became wolves by a satanic power were also still considered victims, such as Jean Grenier. As printed in records of his trial, preserved by Sabine Baring-Gould (shameless plug: https://www.amazon.com/Book-Werewolves-Superstition-Annotated-Translated-ebook/dp/B0CK4YY16Z )… "The president went on to say that Lycanthropy and Kuanthropy were mere hallucinations, and that the change of shape existed only in the disorganized brain of the insane, consequently it was not a crime which could be punished. The tender age of the boy must be taken into consideration, and the utter neglect of his education and moral development. The court sentenced Grenier to perpetual imprisonment within the walls of a monastery at Bordeaux, where he might be instructed in his Christian and moral obligations; but any attempt to escape would be punished with death."

Werewolves in legend were never driven off or harmed by holy artifacts, holy words, or holy ground - unlike vampires, demons, and other forms of undead, etc. Obviously, popular culture has had them now frequently associated with demonic imagery and acts, but I personally have never liked it, because I love werewolves and I think it's pretty awesome that they actually -weren't- associated with that kind of thing.

There's a (an old, actually) Werewolf Fact on this and more, of course: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-facts/how-to-kill-a-werewolf/

*: It is extremely noteworthy that werewolves were NOT considered witches at any point in antiquity or the Early Modern period. They were different, and the difference remained important including and up to the famous werewolf and witch trials of the 1600s-1800s. I will discuss this some more in future thought posts, as it's extremely important to my research and arguments and how modern scholars have spread so many outright inaccurate concepts as "fact" just to scrounge out more "arguments" for the "academic conversation."

Image: the werewolf from Red Riding Hood (2011), shockingly one of my favorite werewolf movies, despite the werewolf doing the whole "werewolves are unholy" thing. Don't let the teen romance fool you, it's actually really good, and the werewolf is awesome!

Day 18- I am really sick of this concept of "millions of werewolves" like a zombie plague, no puns intended. You see it everywhere these days and have for over a decade, and it's gotten very old. There's a brand spanking new B-movie coming out later this year based on this concept, too.

Back in my day, werewolves came in 1's. One werewolf, one story, very character-driven - made things dramatic and interesting and kept the werewolf horrific, not to mention unique. It also kept the werewolf as a relatable character, which is hugely important for such a story. Today, more often than not, werewolves come not only in "packs" (I will rant about this another time) but also in massive zombie hordes. In such a state, they aren't even dangerous individually. One werewolf isn't even a threat. They're just a plague, like rats. In WoW, you have an objective in the worgen starting zone to "kill 80 worgen" in one go because there's a blue million of them and they all absolutely suck (you have several objectives like this). It's a terrible way to approach werewolves as a concept. At this point, especially with modern zombies being some infectious disease, why isn't the story just about zombies? Why not just make it about some infectious rat-people plague, since that's what it is?

If you see the scary monster in question slaughtered in droves, it lowers your perceived danger level of one as a threat. No matter what occasional thing has managed to arguably pull this off well regardless of seeing dozens on the screen at the same time (I have heard all the Aliens arguments*), it still ultimately works to make the single thing less intimidating. Especially when, in the case of werewolves, they're largely only talked about as dangerous because they might infect someone… you know, like how modern zombies are handled.

Again, I have to say: if the werewolf is just a plague-carrier that comes in hordes, why not go with rats instead? Call them wererats if you must. It'd still be better than using werewolves.

I want to overall be positive in these posts, but often I cannot help myself. I hate the "werewolves as zombies"/"werewolves as rat monsters" trope, and after zombies already stole the "infection by bite" straight from werewolves. Today, it often takes an army of werewolves to do even one small thing. It's just stupid and terrible. Use zombies for your zombie plague and leave werewolves alone.

image: worgen in Gilneas, the worgen starting zone (pre furry redesign)

*: I love Aliens, before you ask

Day 19- One of my all-time favorite werewolf stories is a Breton lai by the wonderful Marie de France. You guessed it: it's Bisclavret, the Lai of the Werewolf. I adore this story.

I relayed the entire story and discussed it in depth in this post here: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-fact-67-the-lai-of-the-werewolf-bisclavret/

But for the sake of brevity (although this will not be incredibly brief), I just want to say again that I adore this story because it's such a classical tale of chivalry, knightly code, and a noble werewolf. I've always enjoyed that although the tale opens with a description of werewolves and what they are/how they are perceived, the werewolf in the story defies this description - and why? Because he's a noble knight (and baron). Even when turned into a beast, he holds true to his chivalry and fealty. But frankly, such a concise description of werewolves is something I really enjoy too-- “a werewolf is a man who suffers a change and runs wild in the darkest wood, horrible to behold, and devours men.” Solid gold. That's a werewolf, right there.

Bisclavret is one of several similar tales of treacherous wives, a theme of more than a few medieval stories, who betray their good husbands. In this case, when she is told the truth of his being a werewolf, she is horrified and hides his clothing so he cannot return to human form. Guess there was a good reason he didn't tell her the truth - but at least he found out she's a terrible person, right? Treat your werewolf knight husband right. I mean, come on.

Similar to the tale of the Werewolves of Ossory, a moral of Bisclavret is not to judge a book by its cover, essentially. Bisclavret behaved noble and true even as a beast, and his king saw this and recognized it, sparing his life. The wife, however, was told the truth of her husband and was disgusted by the idea of him becoming a beast. In the Werewolves of Ossory, we see people who have been turned into wolves by God, and it becomes a test of others as well as the werewolves themselves - for others to recognize that even those beastly in appearance who behave in good nature should be treated in kind. More on this later when I discuss the werewolves of Ossory and the priest who met them.

If you've never read Bisclavret, it's a wonderful story, whether you're reading it for the werewolf or not. I highly recommend it. Someday in the future I'll publish my own collection of old werewolf tales, with my own thoughts and translations etc. throughout… it's on the backburner.

I've almost kept this up for the entire month! I'm so happy people actually read my ramblings. Thanks to you if you've stuck with them.

Day 20- One of the biggest tropes of modern werewolf media when they aren't a rat plague, though sometimes these go hand in hand, is a "werewolf pack" and/or "werewolf family." This insanely popular trope has taken many werewolf stories by storm, although especially the "shifter romance" genre. I confess I have never read a single book in this genre. I wouldn't be ashamed if I did and would admit it, but instead I am confessing I actually have no experience with it, so anything I say can be taken with the biases of someone who's never read one but has heard a gracious plenty through osmosis. They won't be a focus of this discussion, though.

The focus of today's thoughts are the concept of the werewolf pack and/or family. It seems like a fun idea in theory, although I still prefer focus on an individual character and back in my childhood they were called "werewolf clans" and I think that is VASTLY preferable, because a group of werewolves should be insanely frightening. Trouble is, it's almost never done well. I have seen far too many instances of a werewolf requiring a "pack" to even survive (because werewolves suck, apparently?), even to the point of the lore stating a werewolf will outright die if they don't have some werewolf buddies hanging around because that's just how their biology works ("biology" and "werewolf" in the same sentence loses me pretty fast anyway though)…

The concept of werewolves having packs and families that they do or must live in is an extremely modern one, for the record. Back in folklore, werewolves weren't so directly equated with wolves on a biological and behavioral level that they are driven to seek out or live in or create a pack.

I think it could be interesting - and in fact I do plan to tackle the concept myself, in a horror way - it just… usually isn't. Nine times out of ten, for instance, a "werewolf family" is just a bunch of dog jokes bouncing around on trampolines, chasing frisbees, calling each other "pup" and other such terminology, biting at water sprinklers, and barking at the mailman.

There is, as always, a Werewolf Fact for this: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-facts/packs-communities-and-families/

Image - Sketch artwork for Wulfgard of a group of werewolves, by Saber-Scorpion (our setting in which we create a lot of fiction)

Day 21- Remember how werewolves didn't used to be considered "diseased" or insane? All that came about in the Early Modern Period, and actually, it's where we also started using "lycanthropy."

The word "lycanthrope" in itself is derived from Greek "lykos," meaning wolf, and "anthropos," meaning man - which I mentioned before as well. It's why "lycan" doesn't make any actual sense and is just word butchery, etc. But referring to the curse of the werewolf (or disease of the werewolf, in most Early Modern cases) as "lycanthropy" became almost the standard, and it was recognized as an illness of the mind rather than a physical affliction that caused transformation. This is one of the many cases of scientific thought attempting to rationalize older stories and beliefs - which, by the way, also led to a great deal of organized and purposeful wolf slaughter (as in, real wolves, the animals) in this time period, far moreso than existed in the past.

When popular culture took the word "lycanthropy" and ran with it, medical institutions started using a different word to refer to those with "wolf madness," and that's how we have "clinical lycanthropy" today.

There is, as always, a Werewolf Fact for this: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-fact-70-werewolves-in-medical-history-clinical-lycanthropy/

Day 22- I've mentioned the tale of the Werewolves of Ossory a few times now, so it's about time I discuss it. I enjoy this one a lot.

This tale comes from Topographia Hibernica, written by Giraldus Cambrensis (c. 1146-1223), also called Gerald of Wales, a Welsh cleric and chaplain. In the story, a priest is traveling when an enormous wolf stops him along the way. The wolf, speaking, humbly and kindly beseeches the priest to help his companion, displaying all good Christian manners. Though reluctant and frightened, the priest follows the wolf back to his companion, a wolf who is sick. The wolf - "using his claw as a hand" - pulls back the wolf skin of his companion to reveal she is an old lady. The priest assists the old woman werewolf, who then returns to her wolf form.

The werewolves explain they are from the land of Ossory, whose people become werewolves as a form of trial; a man and woman take the form of a wolf once every seven years. Mention is made that they were descendants of an Irish warrior, Laignech Fáelad, ancestor of the kings of Ossory. He was the first of his kind to assume the shape of a wolf and go “wolfing,” and his people followed after him.

The first werewolf says he will watch over the priest and his companions for the night and protect them from danger. In the morning, the werewolves bid them on their way, and the priest leaves. He later relays this tale with a moral: do not judge others by their appearance/form, if they be good and kind.

As always, there is a Werewolf Fact for this, in which you can read passages from the story in detail: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-facts/werewolves-of-ossory/

Day 23- One of the most fun things to a werewolf story is that the werewolf must hide the curse, even from the closest of family and friends. Once everyone else finds out the truth, if they do, it just isn't as interesting anymore.

This goes back to folklore, too, of course - being a werewolf wasn't exactly desirable, so even in the stories where the werewolf reveals it to someone else, the other people generally react with horror and fear. Niceros's Tale, Bisclavret, and many others are examples of this. Sure, there are other examples (like how the king wasn't bothered in Bisclavret because he saw the goodness in the knight's heart and behavior), but generally, it wasn't exactly a good thing. It isn't super uncommon for the werewolf in the old stories to end up badly, same as in the classic werewolf movies where the werewolf was actually scary*.

Storytelling-wise, it's just very fun and interesting. It leads to a lot of character questions, moral questions, and generally dramatic situations. If you were turning into a monster, you wouldn't want anyone to know, either - if you even knew, yourself. More on that part later, though. I just really love stories where the werewolf has to hide the truth from everyone. It's always so good.

*: The werewolf dying is far from a necessity for a scary werewolf, but the werewolf has traditionally died in the things that are conveying them as truly terrifying, even in some things where the werewolf wasn't really all that bad or was even a force for good. I'm talking about all those mountains of films that were ultimately offshoots of The Wolf Man (or, it could be argued, offshoots of The Wolf Man because The Wolf Man was an offshoot of Werewolf of London [1935])… anyway. The werewolf dying has become so predictable I just assume it will happen in most of the type of werewolf media I even theoretically enjoy. Not saying I like it, though.

image: concept art for the werewolf from Morrowind: Bloodmoon, just because I love it

[rosewoodroad]

4, 12, 21, 23 and 32 for Wysma 👀

RUBS MY HANDS.

For this ask game! (Took me a while to get to it, but thanks for asking <3 <3)

4. What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

As a progeny, Wysma rarely left Rata Sum, let alone stepped foot outside Soren Draa. But he was obsessed with tales of adventures. When he wasn’t busy with homework or helping out his professor with lab work, he’d gather scraps from his projects to make figurines of great heroes, villains, and battlefields, to re-enact his favourite stories. Some were even mechanically automated!

Having an artistic outlet is something Wysma misses, though he’d be damned if anyone found out he basically made his own action figures as a kid.

12. What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

Terrible jokes. Dad-tier jokes and bad pickup lines are especially effective.

He also generally enjoys witty banter (both as a participant and a spectator. Especially as a spectator. I imagine being a bystander to an asuran roast/debate session is an incredible experience.)

21. What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

As a whole, Wysma doesn’t vibe with many conventional Asura cultural values. After a decade of interacting with the wider world, he finds it exhausting how everything back in Rata Sum has to be a competition. He hasn’t forgotten the stress of trying to keep up as a student, and as he gets older, it’s draining to see progress get held back by internal power grabs, bureaucratic shenanigans, or just plain stubborn pride.

23. What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember?

Tough one! Maybe less that the other persons don't remember and more like it's not a big deal to them in the long run, but there are definitely childhood cringe moments for Wysma.

Back in college, he was enrolled in Statics, but only under pressure from his mentor who was a Statics professor. At heart, Wysma was more of a Dynamics guy and in his freshman years he was prone to making impulsive, experimental decisions in his work. There are a bunch of co-op projects and report cards he wrecked because of this.

As a Peacemaker rookie, he was very gung-ho about his duties as a civil protector but was terrible at following procedure, which left his superiors to clean up the mess and handle even more paperwork to bail him out of trouble (but those superiors had probably dealt with worse rookies.)

32. If they committed one petty crime / misdemeanor, what would it be? Why?

Unlawful hoarding LMAO. He’s brought back unsanctioned mounts, horticulture, relics of mysterious origins and like 20 cats without consulting the local laboratory authorities (or his neighbours).

All those collections (and cats) scattered around the home instance is absolutely canon to him. He’s not even aware of how bad it is until he gets his homestead and realises how much he actually has to move over. The sole reason he hasn't been evicted from Rata Sum already is because he's the Commander and it would be terrible for the Arcane Council's PR image.

[rughydrangea]

So I am very behind on The Midnight Romance in Hagwon, but I'm making my way through it, and enjoying it. But. There are two things that aren't really points against it, but that are informing how I experience it.

My journey in academia really started 9 years ago, when I began grad school. And I taught a lot in grad school, both for professional training and because once your funding runs out it's a major way to earn money. But for all that time, I was both a teacher and a student, and the student part of my identity felt much more important. Yes, graduate students teach, but teaching is generally thought of as the thing that facilitates research and writing, which is what you're actually there to do.

Since finishing my PhD two years ago and making the transition to professorhood, I have shifted to thinking of myself as a teacher before being a writer/scholar/researcher (which is problematic in ways that I will not bore anyone by outlining, but also due to the fact that low-level professors teach a fuckton! I went from teaching one class at a time to teaching three at a time; it occupies the bulk of my waking hours). And my reception of media about teaching/education has markedly changed. I find it really stressful now! And even though the academies that are highlighted in this drama bear no resemblance to the kind of teaching I do (and represent, to me, the antithesis of what education should be about, which to be fair is something that is very much on the show's mind), the detail of extreme stressing over class size and student retention rings so true to me, a professor in a tiny program that is constantly worrying about enrollment, that I actually find it kind of unpleasant to watch.

My attitude towards student/teacher romance is different now too. This has never been a trope I've been obsessed with, because teaching has been a big part of my life for a while and the ethical issues are really insurmountable, but I've certainly enjoyed romances that exist on the edges of that trope (to keep with Director Ahn Pan Seok, Secret Love Affair is basically a student/teacher romance, when you get right down to it, and goodness knows I adored that drama). And here, I do think the foundations for Hye Jin and Joon Ho's relationship are laid in such a way that it's tough to think that they are doing anything unethical from that point of view: it's been a decade since she was actually his teacher, and he is unambiguously an adult. If there's anything unethical about their relationship, I'd say it's that technically she's his boss.

But Joon Ho really does, in a lot of ways, still think of Hye Jin as his teacher, and it makes me feel uneasy (and I do appreciate that it makes her uneasy too, to the extent that she literally kicks him out of bed when he calls her seonsaeng-nim and ssaem during foreplay (which to be fair was pretty funny))--not because the content of the drama aims to prompt such a feeling, but because as a teacher the idea of that kind of classroom relationship morphing into a romance just doesn't compute for me. They're just two fundamentally different ways of relating to another person, and they don't/can't overlap. It's not a question of age at all. (I think it's a question of power. A classroom relationship by its nature is imbalanced, that's unavoidable, but so much of the art of teaching is navigating how to manage that imbalance in a respectful and responsible way.) And again, from this perspective I really think the writing has gone out of its way to make this relationship not gross. This is much less of a drama-thing than a me-thing--I'm just observing that the life I've ended up leading has genuinely changed how I see the world (I can't imagine thinking any of this ten years ago).

[thesinglesjukebox]

TINASHE - "NASTY"

The TikTok career-heating inferno strikes another match...

[6.46]

Alfred Soto: "Is someone gonna match my nasty?" she wonders. The listener might wonder whether this midtempo R&B track with a trap beat does more than tease.  [6]

Rachel Saywitz: Nasty Girls (nasty), rise up, our time is now! As the hot summer months sweat into our skin, now is the time to turn your ho-ing into overdrive. Now is the time to be a "Nasty Girl (nasty)," everywhich-way-when-where-how. You might be thinking: "but Rachel, I'm not a 'Nasty Girl (nasty)!' I don't grind on guys in the California desert dressed in raunchy Fast & Furious garb! I don't grab my crotch and then roll into a bridge pose!" My friends, listen to me. The nastiness of us has always existed deep within. It can be sex, sure, but nasty's birthplace is not sexual in nature. It is our soul's most primal desire—the desire to fuck. shit. up. Nasty is buying a pizza made for two people and eating it by yourself because this nastiness can only hold one worldly being. Nasty is reaching out to that friend you haven't talked to since college, then deleting all the photos you have of your college ex in your phone. Nasty is the carriage scene in the third season of Bridgerton where two characters hook up to an orchestral version of Pitbull's "Give Me Everything," and you watch it and realize: "Oh my god, listening to Pitbull is going to make me horny from this point onward," and you just kind of sit with that for a few months. Nasty is a white boy dancing soca with so much rizz that he lands a collab with Marc Jacobs and turn a Tinashe song into what might be a genuine hit, 10 years after "2 On." Nasty is your freak, unmatchable and entirely unique. One quick note on what Nasty is not—the reeking smell of your two-week old takeout leftovers. You should really throw those out. [9]

Julian Axelrod: How did it take this long for Tinashe to score a TikTok hit? She's been producing bite-sized morsels of freaky pop perfection since the Obama administration, so if it takes a nerdy white guy wining to recreate the magic of "2 On," that says more about us than her. "Nasty" doesn't reinvent the wheel because Tinashe's been honing that wheel for the past decade. She knows what lines to loop, she knows which beats will bang, and she has an endless arsenal of tawdry Tinashe-isms just brazen enough to make you blush. The success of "Nasty" is a testament to her unwavering commitment to horny excellence. Tinashe is the Malcolm Gladwell of matching freak. [7]

Ian Mathers: Match your freak? In this economy? [7]

Jonathan Bradley: Making a hot meme is nearly as good as making a hot song, but "Nasty" is too low-key to really be called a comeback. What is here is charming enough — robot voice, melodic kick sequencing, some nice vocal technique on the pre-chorus — but each idea comes back too soon, wearing out its welcome like a tired prompt tweet. [5]

Katherine St. Asaph: I have little to say that wasn't said better by Steacy Easton, about "Freak" by Estelle and Kardinal Offishall: "In two weeks I am going to a library at the Leather Archives in Chicago, and watching a video described as: 'unknown individual that calls himself Cowboy appears to be a master at whipping. Videos show various men tied to trees being whipped while having their genitals played with. Videos are home made and from his personal collection, they are copies of the originals according to a note found in the donation box.' This is my new standard of freakdom. Estelle does not measure up." Tinashe does not measure up either, not by monotonously matching the freak ante of a saucy Tinder ad on the subway. Basically, it's just moving kind of slow. [3]

Tim de Reuse: Something deeply funny to me about repeating the word "nasty" over totally clean, dry, unadorned sine waves: a dial tone in minor key, stark, inhuman, like the smell of a hospital. It's the opposite of sound design. Does that sound like I don't like it? I mean, on a purely sensory level, I don't, but it's a deliberate choice that's impossible to ignore. It's a lens that focuses everything down to that single repeated hook and the crunchy, over-articulated way she pronounces it. I let the whole track rattle through my skull three times on the bus yesterday and felt like I was being put under hypnosis. Your freak has my respect, Tinashe, if not my heart. [6]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: The type of runaway, mind-zapping hit that has even the straight white boys in my classes humming along unconsciously.  [8]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Is it a good song or just a good collection of bits — the "match my freak" bit that everyone is doing, yes, but also the hook itself, the soaring, horny grandeur of the pre-chorus, the way Tinashe says she might just let this guy pay her lease? How much does that matter? In terms of shiny objects, this is stronger than anything she's done since "Superlove," but a song made just out of hooks can get a little tedious. She's independent now, but this is still factory pop: a delivery device for an attempted hit that lacks the connective tissue that her best misses have. [6]

Nortey Dowuona: Tinashe went a whole decade constantly failing to launch then suddenly slipped out of the iron grip of RCA and started dropping classics. But a lifer like Tinashe wasn't meant to stay away from the industry that's had her since she was part of the Stunners (which also included the excellent Hayley Kiyoko), so she signed to Ricky Reed's Nice Life imprint, released the bouncy, light BB/Ang3l, and went back on tour like any industry pro would. Now, we have "Nasty," a light bubbly fizz drink of a song co-produced by Ricky Reed and the fantastic Zach Sekoff (architect of "Crabs in a Bucket," "Homage," and "Party People" off Vince Staples's Big Fish Theory, as well as sharing in the spoils on "Freeman" from Dark Times). "Nasty" feels so comfortably settled and relaxed that you foolishly feel like volunteering to match her freak -- until the beat switches into a rippling bass wave over the drums that presses you until you crumple. Guess it wasn't you. NEXT! [8]

Taylor Alatorre: As good an illustration of the Duality of Tinashe as you'll find anywhere, almost as if it was constructed by her and Ricky Reed for that exact purpose. She sounds downright proud of herself in the chorus for pulling off such a clean bait-and-switch, with the "nasty girl" mantra a mere wind-up for the kind of angelic R&B slinkiness that she rightly feels should be her trademark. The problem with nastiness-as-pretext is that it threatens to make the parts of the song that aren't the chorus seem more vestigial than usual, but this is a problem that singers with half of Tinashe's talent would love to have. And it's not like there aren't steps taken to mitigate this issue: the pre-echo of the chorus gently hand-holding us into the confession booth, where Tinashe plays with her enunciation in weird enough ways to keep us invested until the portal to 2002 opens up.  [7]

Dave Moore: I'm happy to see Tinashe reach official meme status, but "match my freak" is also the highlight here and it happens in the first 20 seconds, which makes me wonder how much of the single's success is the opening bit insinuating its way into popular consciousness. The song stalls out afterward.  [6]

Michael Hong: "Nasty" is a solid distillation of Tinashe: confident and playful, with a hook that's immediately memorable and a pre-chorus melody that's just skillful but not showy. Doesn't stop the fact that she's released at least a couple dozen tracks in the past decade that are more interesting. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[the-heaminator]

Idk if you already been asked but girl give us your hcs on New Zealand. name, gender, relation with the other bitches

Ngl my New Zealand is mostly just stolen from @historia-vitae-magistras (I hope you dont mind me tagging you,) her stuff is GREAT.

But here it is in the shortform.

Name: Eleanor....ngl I dont actually have a last name for her??? I never realised that I put her as like 18-20 in the modern era

Height. Around 5'7-5'8, I want her to be tall, robust, and an inch taller than Arthur, better nutrition and all, shes...robust, no better way to put it, shes healthy, tall, and can and will yeet Jack, even as he is built like a brick shithouse. Only has to go on her tippytoes sometimes, mmmmm shes a very good hugger when she does hug, which is rare. Unless you're Jack, she hugs her idiot older brother a lot.

Relation with other bitches as you very concisely put it.

Jack is her sunshine demon of an older brother, she does have to reign him in sometimes, stop him from accidentally killing himself, he does the same for her on occasion, they ho drinking together. When pissed she gains a level of confidence that is frankly terrifying for someone as sharp as a whip as she is, they go surfing together. Zee loves birds, Jack is pretty much a reptile, man starts brumating when it gets too cold, she likes sitting in trees. Like a bird.

She bitches and whines a lot with him but like usually, not always, but usually in a good natured way and is not against physically knocking some common sense into him.

With Matthew it's like tender but also a little more distant than it used to be, he was basically the stand on parental figure for her while the kirllands were out doing fuck knows what, after she got her independence it is still very close and caring but not as much as it used to be.

She is also very blunt when she wants to be. Not something Matt is used to so she will go up and tell his lanky ass that he needs to eat, sleep, and lay off the fucking weed for a bit or he will end up in a ditch somewhere with a squirrel up his arse. Shes direct and a little scary. Matt usually listens to her because again she is not afraid to use blunt force trauma.

Her relationship with Alfred is odd, it is more a business type relationship, he was never really around for her upbringing so she doesnt see him as a brother or anything, more like a far removed cousin. But besides that they and matt absolutely love bitching about people together, like in a corner. It's kindif funny. jack does not join very often unless its winter, he's cold, and has to do official shit, then he gets awfully similar to Arthur and has soooooo much shit with everyone. Hes a little scary like that. Alfred kind of like, tries, to seem familliar bit it never actually works, so hes kind of given up, the business relationship is pretty good though.

Fuck this ask is getting long I need to shut up but I shan't

Anyways now the hard part is her relationship with the isles

She sees Arthur as a father figure, but like a distant one, hes warmed up a little in recent decades but still seems quite cold, even if unintentionally, hes just really really really repressed like that, but he is protective over her, he is protective over all of them but will personally raise hell if anyone touches a finger on his little girl even as she isnt all that little anymore, he tries but it isnt enough, but the sentiment is appreciated, he was strict with her, but not really in gender roles bc again Arthur is not really the type to be fussy about gender, bug he made sure she was s art, if not physically stronger she will be smarter, and she is, and is also strong so a win win for her.

Hes the softest with her when sober, like a little bit of him melts because shes the youngest, she's a girl, and he's kind if getting old now, but is happy to just sit in silence with her. With say Alfred they always have ti be talking or moving or something, Alfred got it from Arthur and it just kind of echoes back. With Matthew he has gotten more lax but still is professional with him, unless either or both are more rats assed then a scouser after a football match, with Jack he is nearly as soft as he is with her, just a little bit more restrained.

She finds it a little odd but not unwelcome that he is calmer with them, but sometimes his near inability to process feeling or feel sympathy or empathy absolutely drives her around the fucking bend. She gets angry at him a lot, for good reason too, historical and personal both. I wont get into them bc I'm nit that well versed in their history.

With alisdair it's very much an uncle situation, same with rhys, and a closer aunt with Brighid, unlike Matt who had Alisdair as basically a stand in parent while Arthur was drunk, or busy, or Jack who has called brighid mum before, they all feel somehwat distant, she likes Brighid but does find her a little intense, most people do but she isn't complaining too much, she has the widest emotional bandwidth of any of the isles and is also the best at comforting by far, Zee likes to feel physically grounded and none of the Kirklands can do hugs without being very awkward about it, closest is the slightly tipsy hugs that Alisdair gives when he sees her looking down.

I dont actually have much developed for rhys or alisdair. I'm sorry :,) and I probably do have other thoughts I just cannot be asked to type it out rn so I hope this is satisfactory

[sweetjanesunshine]

What is the drama between drake and mr lsmar?

Oh ho. Oh hoho.

So Kendrick and Drake have hated each other for like the entirety of their careers. It started off extremely tame, I think Kendrick basically just said he found Drake annoying and didn't like his music, but of course the beef escalated from there.

What has been happening of late is that they are trading diss tracks rapid-fire. Especially from Kendrick, he keeps releasing his back-to-back, it's insane. This chapter of their fight started back in March with Kendrick comparing himself to Prince and Drake to Michael Jackson (among other things) on Future's "Like That", Drake replied with "Push Ups," and "Taylor Made Freestyle", Kendrick came back with "Euphoria" and "6:16 in LA"...it's kept going from there, the gibes getting nastier and more personal.

Kendrick and Drake have been taking little swipes at each other in their music for over a decade, this one has just happened to blow up really big because 1) Kendrick is fucking killing him (I am biased tho so don't take my word for it). 2) because everyone is in awe of the fact that Kendrick is releasing so many songs so quickly, he famously takes forever to release music. and 3) it's been foreverrrr since we've had a rap beef that actually took place in the form of real songs instead of, like, tweets.

That's my summary, there's a pretty good timeline here if you want to read more

[art-of-mathematics]

Wei Ho Is Drawn to Algebra, Geometry and the Human Side of Math | Quanta Magazine

https://www.quantamagazine.org/wei-ho-is-drawn-to-algebra-geometry-and-the-human-side-of-math-20221122/

Wei Ho, the first director of the Women and Mathematics program at the Institute for Advanced Study, combines algebra and geometry in her work on an ancient class of curves.

---

Introduction

Like many people who would go on to become mathematicians, Wei Ho grew up competing in math contests. In eighth grade, she won the Mathcounts state competition in Wisconsin, and her team took third place at nationals.

Unlike many future mathematicians, she wasn’t sure she ever wanted to become one.

“I wanted to do everything, all the time,” Ho said. “I took ballet very seriously until early high school. I edited the literary magazine. I did debate and forensics. I played tennis and soccer and piano and violin.” By contrast, many successful mathematicians appeared to be obsessed with math to the exclusion of everything else. How could she, a person with numerous passions, compete with that level of focus?

Ultimately, Ho was drawn to the rigor of mathematics. She still enjoys ballet, reading novels and doing cryptic crossword puzzles, even as she helps to reinvent the mathematical machinery that underpins fundamental mathematical objects, such as polynomial equations, which have long-standing and perplexing open questions associated with them.

Ho studies familiar geometric objects, but she reformulates the questions to situate them in the realm of the rational numbers — numbers that can be written as fractions. “Then number theory starts to get mixed into all of this,” she said.

She is especially interested in elliptic curves, which are defined by a particular kind of polynomial equation that has applications in different branches of mathematics. Elliptic curves appear in analysis — broadly speaking, the study of continuous things, like the real numbers — and in algebra, which is about finding and defining precise mathematical structures. (Though their focus is different, analysis and algebra are divided more by sensibility than by a strict boundary, as there is plenty of overlap between them.)

Introduction

In a barrier-breaking preprint released in 2018, Ho and her collaborator Levent Alpöge of Harvard University discovered a new upper bound for the number of integer solutions to polynomials that define elliptic curves. Their technique draws upon the decades-old work of Louis Mordell, an American mathematician who emigrated to Britain in 1906. In their paper, Ho and Alpöge were able to glean new information about the distribution of these integer solutions that had evaded other teams studying similar problems.

Ho is spending the year (on leave from her faculty position at the University of Michigan) as a visiting professor at the Institute for Advanced Study, where she was recently named the first director of the IAS’s Women and Mathematics program. She is also a 2023 fellow of the American Mathematical Society and a research scholar at Princeton University.

She’s hopeful that directing the Women and Mathematics program will “at least help the community more, help more people, instead of just me being in my office doing math research by myself or with collaborators,” she said. “I can prove theorems, and maybe someday I can prove a theorem that in 100 years will matter. Maybe, maybe not. But I felt like I wasn’t making enough impact on the world or on people around me.”

Quanta spoke with Ho in a series of videoconferences. The interviews have been condensed and edited for clarity.

How would you describe the way you do mathematics?

Sometimes mathematicians divide ourselves into algebraic and analytic people. The math I do touches both sides, but at heart, I am an algebraist, though I’m geometric in the way I think. I often tend to view algebra and geometry as essentially the same.

That’s not quite accurate, but basically since the work of Descartes and especially in the last century, the two subjects have become really close. There is a rather precise dictionary that can, in some situations, help translate a geometric picture to algebraic consequences.

In my own case, the geometric picture often helps formulate statements and conjectures and give intuition, but then we translate them to algebra when writing. It’s easier to detect mistakes as algebra is typically more rigorous. It can also be easier to use algebra when geometry gets too hard to visualize.

[hariolor]

Bloodshed gives way to more bloodshed. Hatred breeds more hatred. Until all of the violence soaks into the land, carving rivers of blood & no matter how many times it happens, they never learn. Humans are made up of violent, miserable fools. --- LUST THE LASCIVIOUS.

I NO LONGER USE MY UNEDITED ANIME ICONS AT THE MOMENT, SO HERE ARE THE UNEDITED ANIME ICONS OF LUST FOR FREE USE FROM FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST: BROTHERHOOD! CREDIT IS NOT REQUIRED, BUT IS WELCOMED!

MY PERSONAL BLOG : @birb-of-hermes MY OTHER BLOGS : @groazei & @pastortured & @weavinghands MAINS : tba EXCLUSIVES : tba AFFILIATES : tba

WARNING : Lust is a villain and will act how she sees & deems fit. She kills with no hesitation & she lacks empathy while also being powerful enough that she continues to live through the decades in disclosure. However, if lust dislikes / distances herself from someone it is not me, lust is simply a muse that is lethal as she is silent.

DISCLAIMER BENEATH READ MORE ;

UPDATED 04 - 15 - 2024

BASIC.

Be aware that there are extreme triggers such as gore, blood, death idealization, religious themes, blasphemy, sexual themes, and mentions of abuse.

Lust is not kind and can appear callous. That does not mean that the mun feels the same way!

She is strong and the second-oldest homunculus in Father's creation, while she died soon in canon she still played a strong role. Do not undermine her.

ROLEPLAY.

I solely interact and write with my mutuals. I ask you all do not send me anything if we are not mutuals. I will block you.

While Lust’s nature is dark and cruel, there are some topics I refuse to write, and those are: Rape / DubCon / Child Abuse / Child Sexual Abuse / Sexual Abuse.

I will not and never will I write with the n/azis characters as a whole. As a POC, it's horrible to see that and the horrors that came with this inspiration. I will block all n/azi characters on sight.

Long or short role plays are fine. I really am open to either or.

You may continue an ask I have answered if you want, no need to ask me!

I lightly edit my threads, but if you have any trouble reading my reply, do not hesitate to let me know, and I will fix it up.

SHIPPING.

I am selective multiship.

I solely ship with people I know or am comfortable with. Do not force ship.

Lust is demiromantic. It would take time for someone to win her heart, so please have patience. So any bond with them will be hard to build up in some way or another. Just give her time.

I can tell when people follow me solely to ship with Lust and if you continue, I will simply block you.

I do write smut on the dash and discord, but that is solely for close mutuals I am comfortable with.

I only ship and smut with those of legal age.

EXTRA.

While I do not like Hazbin Hotel / Helluva Boss, I will no longer hold it against multimuses that have muses from said series; I simply will not interact with muses from the series and strictly stay to your other fandom muses for my comfort.

I got diagnosed with epilepsy and would highly appreciate it if you can tag anything flashy or straining to the eyes for me. I blacklist the words “epilepsy / epilepsy warning / flashy” so any of these are fine!

DNI if you interact heavily with theworldio / bigveee or any of Finn’s blogs. I do not want to see him on my dash. Failure to follow this specific rule will result in blocking.

OUT OF CHARACTER.

Hello! My name is Jovis, but Jovi or Nana works too. I use they / them pronouns, since I am genderfluid.

I am thirty years old. If this makes you uncomfortable, you are more than welcomed to block me. I want your comfort out of all things

English is not my mother tongue; I am Mexican and can mess up here and there with writing. I don’t mind my role playing partners correcting anything on my behalf and welcome it!

I am considered disabled as I have several mental health and physical health issues. I ask you all have patience with me on slow days and to understand that I mean no harm by going silent at times

Have fun and hope to interact soon!

[thedragonagelesbian]

1 (because I think I got here late and would love to know more about Cyrus Generally as well), 5, 26, and 31

1. Tell us about your Tav! Name, class and subclass, race, pronouns. Do you have a headcanon for where they're from? Their family? Are they a Dark Urge? Or did you choose an Origin Character? Was it an easy decision?

asdfkpofjsaf i know my cyrus posting is. inscrutable at times, especially since he was originally a Dragon Age 2 character, so here is the definitive primer on bg3!cyrus

Name: Cyrus Hawke

Race: Wood elf

Class (main timeline): Paladin in Act 1; Paladin/Barbarian multiclass for Acts 2 & 3

Subclass (main timeline): Devotion in Act 1; Oathbreaker/Wildheart (bear) for Acts 2 & 3

Class (came back wrong timeline): Paladin/Sorcerer

Subclass (came back wrong timeline): Devotion/Shadow (mod) in Act 1; not sure if he'll end up breaking his oath in the same way in Act 2, but the plan is to take most of his sorcerer levels in Act 2 since the shadow sorcerer mod has some fun mechanical interactions with the Shadowlands

Where are they/their family from: Cyrus was born to Leandra Amell, the runaway heiress of a noble family in Evermeet (Faerun's equivalent of Valinor, isolationist elven paradise), and Malcolm Hawke, an eladrin warlock who had scorned his archfey patron. Because Malcolm was being actively hunted by his patron, Cyrus was born and spent his earliest years on the road.

Malcolm was killed by his patron when Cyrus was quite young (<20, baby by elven standards), and Leandra passed away a few decades after that. At the time, Cyrus was still very much a juvenile for an elf despite (in accordance with D&D lore) looking like an adult by other humanoid standards. He ended up in Baldur's Gate immediately following his mother's death and spent ~50 years there as an orphan in the Lower City.

Cyrus self-identifies as a Baldurian, but his actual relationship with his hometown is much more complicated. When he lived there, he loved many of its people and wanted to protect them, whether from the opportunism of the Guild, the overreach of the Flaming Fists, or the cruel indifference of his orphanage's headmaster. But that sense of expectation and obligation, especially to the other orphans, was often strangling. Cyrus grew quite accustomed to sacrificing his own happiness and desires to take care of them.

When he saw his first opportunity to leave the city without feeling like he was abandoning people who needed him, he took it without hesitation.

Durge vs Origin: Cyrus is an origin character. I didn't even consider going Durge for him. From playing him in DA2 and spending basically the whole summer yelling about him, he was already a very well-established character in my mind, so I didn't really want/need the extra story and world tie-ins that durge offers.

I also knew pretty quickly that I wanted to play him, rather than coming up with a new OC. This is because he is my most specialist boy ever, but also because for my first playthrough, I wanted to get into the game itself, rather than spending too much time thinking about who this person is and what their connection to the world is.

5. Do you remember the first humanoid enemy your Character killed? Was it the first person they've ever killed, in your opinion? Would they have been bothered by it?

It was the looters in the cathedral right off the beach-- he persuaded the ones outside to fuck off, but failed the roll for the ones inside the building itself, and they were automatically hostile when I had Astarion pick the lock.

I think he was bothered by that particular set of deaths just because 80% of the time, he prefers to de-escalate and resolve situations peacefully... in those other 20% of cases, though, he is quick to draw blood. Threatening his friends, hurting innocents, and being a careless or cruel authority figure are all great ways to encounter the righteous paladin fury simmering behind that affable, easy smile.

So, no, it wasn't his first kill. I think that honor probably went to a bandit who attacked him and Leandra when they were traveling alone after Malcolm's death. It was very messy, poorly executed, and terrifying, leading to the scars Cyrus has on his cheek and throat. The encounter also drove him to learn swordplay and defense so he could be ready the next time around.

26. What was your favorite enemy? Did your Character have any memorable fights or moments in combat that were ripe for headcanons and interpretation?

Even if Cyrus smited Minthara into oblivion, I am fascinated by her and her women's wrongs and her evil paladin wiles, and I look forward to learning much more about her when I do a more morally dubious playthrough.

As for the second question... god, I wish I had a better answer! Bc I love this question and thinking through the relationship between combat mechanics and narrative, but... the Act 1 combats didn't have as much personal/emotional investment as Acts 2 & 3 for me. Also, because I was playing on explorer mode, those emergent moments of super close calls and near (or actual) deaths didn't happen very often.

When I do my paladin/sorcerer run though (on regular difficulty this time), I will be very curious to see when 'strength of the grave' triggers for the first time (drop to 1hp instead of 0 once per long rest). Violently flirting with the line between life and death is sure to be very stressful for him :)

31. Does your Character have new or old phobias or superstitions that affect their story?

This is super low-hanging fruit, but Cyrus is very sensitive to how his body is modified, so the whole tadpole situation is. Immensely yikes. He tries not to ever use the tadpole powers, even in benign instances such as sharing thoughts and feelings with companions. He'll only resort to it if he absolutely has to. If I remember correctly, the only times he used it in Act 1 were to free Shadowheart and to interfere with the goblins' interrogation of the dead mindflayer.

And, of course, the Dream Visitor's suggestion that he should be encouraging and inculcating these powers is politely but firmly rejected.

[greekbros]

(Hey heads up Disney's Snow White is on YouTube right now)

(so hilariously here are my first thoughts:)

-literally this girl was a royal princess and yet the first thing she was forced to do as soon as her parents kick the bucket was practically do all the chores throughout the entire Castle.

-the queen ain't s***, getting jealous as f*** out of 16 year old not only is completely out of my range of understanding but if you're a grown ass adults and you're jealous of essentially a decade and a half old person in regards to their youth, honey you got so much worse things to worry about.

-Prince floren (yes the male protagonist who isn't a dwarf) is a bit of a weird ass. Like bro what were you doing spying on a 16 year old girl who you presumed was a slave at first and suddenly decide to go ahead and sell renate her ass in front of her crappy stepmother.

-look as much as I like the dwarves from an archetype standpoint, they really were actively being little shits not taking care of themselves and practically depending on Snow White to do their chores to a weird extent.

-my girl Snow White is a saint, cuz she dead ass found an entire house, and knew that there were individuals living and said house, and decided to clean it. Those proving my theory, that the evil queen literally gaslit her into thinking cleaning and doing chores is a hobby.

-also this girl is 16 she's doing a lot more for literally everyone around her rather than me so I don't know if I can even consider her by modern day standards as a damsel or in need of a modern-day update. Give it in consideration the current state of Disney and how they've treated their princesses as if there was a ton of things wrong with them to begin with, honestly Snow White holds up pretty well, she literally did not give a s*** about a single thing the moment she got out of the castle, had a rather traumatic experience in the forest, but outside from that she's been having the time of her absolute life.

-going back with the cleaning aspect of her character for some reason, I genuinely feel bad that literally her first instinct after she realizes that she doesn't have anywhere to stay, that she has to bargain cleaning the entirety of the house so that she can stay there is really kind of sad. I get it that's during the time of this movie the expectations of women were to literally just be homemakers and such, but it's still kind of a little sad.

-homegirl I know that you cleaned up the entire house and stuff and expect the owners to be very happy about that and likely let you stay, but did you really have to sleep on top of their beds? That's like some little goldilock shit.

-I'm so used to animals behaving like animals in media that looking at all these animals being just way too happy to help around is starting to annoy the s*** out of me.

-I'm going to be honest with you, I love animals, I love them to bits, but there's something somehow insufferable about the animals that are found throughout the movie.

-Hi ho and Dig Dig Dig is literally the best songs in the entire movie.

-most of the gems look like candy and I want to eat them.

-who else here thinks that if anyone wants to reimagine snow white, it should be in a JRR Tolkien style. Where the dwarves accidentally help a human princess from some evil elves or something. I don't know, you figure it out.

-the fact that the animals literally looked out of the window when they heard the dwarves come back and basically said "oh s*** fam let's bounce" is conceptually funny to me considering they just left their human best friend inside the house.

-not a single aspect of this movie would have happened in D&D. The dwarfs would have came in, kicked her out and got hella mad for messing around with their stuff.

-also mythologically speaking, I understand that in modern media that dwarves are supposed to be living near mountains, but I also find it hilarious that these dwarves are more comparable to gnomes rather than anything. Maybe they're just really big gnomes....

-you know what that's it, maybe this movie is just actually about seven gnomes rather than seven dwarves. In fact actually that makes it less racially conspicuous considering so many people have deemed dwarves as some sort of stereotype derogatory of people with dwarfism. I genuinely understand how that discourse happened and I understand why that discourse continues too.

-but honestly Disney designed these dwarves with lawn gnomes in mind.

-the dwarves being sus'd about the house being cleaned is funny and extremely accurate to the depictions of men who have never interacted with women.

-grumpy literally is the most realistic entity in this entire movie.

-Dopy actually has a voice, it's just a very particular scream.

-honestly I know have complained about the evil queen being absolutely dog s*** and actively having terrible self image issues, but her evil witch laboratory is an absolute vibe. Also mad respect for her having that to begin with for no reason.

-Bruv Prince weirdass came back and was like "damn I actually liked her I should pay my respects by kissing her CORPSE"

-i despise the supposed fan theory that she actually died and the castle they're going to in the end is actually heaven. I just like to imagine that that's how things look like when you just wake up from coming back from the dead, all nice and pretty and you have a New perspective in life and shit.

[bougainvilea]

hottie w a body i hope 😏 get it girl use that charisma score!!!!!!!

aislinn DOES have a magic item but it’s homebrew- we call it the starsaber. so ok so this is a long-ish story but

aislinn was originally a blood hunter who got their abilities from an archfey; that archfey turned out to be a manipulative prick (lol it was loki) and aislinn was chosen by artemis to be their champion, so they yeeted loki out of their head and swore themselves to artemis, which traded their blood hunter levels for paladin levels.

over a year later artemis did something very cruel- aislinn asked for a “starfall miracle” (starfall is a winter celebration but also their birthday) and artemis said they would see their family at sunset. cool! aislinn spent all day so excited bc they hadn’t seen their family in six decades and then what it turned out to be was the asshole middle brother, lugus, on tv, talking massive shit about aislinn and calling them insane

aislinn was understandably FURIOUS and had a huge confrontation directly w artemis eventually where they pointed out “this war started with the failures of the gods and now you want us to do all your dirty work for you and don’t have an ounce of care or respect for us” to which artemis was like “lol bitch. why would i care abt y’all. i know how this story ends. my weapon i gave you is your only advantage here. either you beg my forgiveness or maybe i’ll give it to prisha (the bbeg)”

and aislinn’s stubborn ass said “NO YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU I DONT NEED YOU”

they lost multiple levels of paladin but not all- they started drawing from the power of their bloodline, and in a side quest of a year in game, trained diligently with a god-killer from another universe to learn to stand against gods and not die. in doing that, they had to open themselves up to drawing power from their own ancestry bc their great-grandfather was the archfey of starlight so now they have all their paladin levels back, rely on no god or creed, and their eyes even turned silver like starlight as a result. also they came back able to kill gods and part of that is their weapon!!!

so the starsaber is a lightsaber but it’s tied to aislinn’s starlight archfey blood and it’s essentially like this: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8jnuGbF/

multi-purpose lightsaber with a base that allows for those different weapon “types” that:

- has an additional +3 to all attack and damage rolls which means it

- deals a base, a BASE of 3d12+13 radiant damage (we’re a very high stakes campaign so a lot of our weapons are homebrew to do larger amounts of damage)

- but also deals an additional 3d10 radiant to any non-mortal/god-type creature (gods, archfey, eldritch beings)

- and on a natural 20, aislinn automatically severs a limb of the creature they hit (this happened with the fight with their father where they cut off one of his legs to add insult to injury)

does alaira have any? also who are her favorite ppl who’s closest to her!!!!

HO. LY. SHIT!!!!!

okay so first things first OBVIOUSLY alaira is a hottie w a body. shes currently on a quest to get blessings from all 4 elemental gods in order to wield her racial artefact (a crown), and i like to imagine that with each blessing she has received (3/4 now!!! only water left - very thematic) she has become more and more 'elemental' looking (she grew up w her high elf mama and never saw other genasi so i imagine she basically looks elven and has become more elemental looking as i said) and thus i imagine that she has like water light lines (like the top of water in sunlight) all over her skin. she is HOT like thats PERSONALITY TRAIT NUMERO UNO!!!

secondly HOLY HELL THAT IS ONE FUCKING CAMPAIGN!!!! thats sooo intense holy shit. wow! aislinn has been through a lot! fuck artemis all my homies hate artemis! very cruel! but paladin levels tied to bloodlines is very very cool & empowering!!! and what a fucking lightsaber holy shittt MINIMUM 3 D 12 PLUS 13 like ...... woweeeee

i had a dagger that is +2d8 ice damage. i havent really had the chance to upgrade weapons for a while, hence im on the lookout!

alaira is unfortunately very cagey (her wisdom only recently went up to 10, she was on 9 for a while and that manifested as literally unable to come up with any solutions to problems other than revenge). she barely considers her party friends hahaha! but theres a dragonborn named miraak who is another pc and hes a big friendly giant and while she thought he was just stupid for a while they had this really beautiful open conversation revently and now she considers him a friend 🥺 ultimately tho her top bestie is her mama. she also has a familiar but rhats more utility than bestie (bc its associated w magic which she is only recently trying to unlearn negativity toward.... u understand). also one of our party members who she cared for most left ages ago so she feels really Abandoned by Everyone That Matters iykwim. anyway here's my alaira playlist if u want HAHAH:

if i could fucking annotate a playlist i'd be UNSTOPPABLE!!!! it's supposed to be chronological, from growing up w her mama and diving in caves + the ocean to get her pretty rocks (her mum is a jeweller), to fun at wizard school, to her roguish days, to not trusting anyone, to (eventually in the future) finding her Cowboy Like Me. would love to hear ur thoughts hehe <3

edit: the last 6 songs arent in order yet theyre new hahaha

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

Do you like the Harry Potter movies too?

I’m going to preface this answer with the fact that I’m wearing Harry Potter socks as we speak😂, and I have a bin full of them bc that’s what ppl always give me as gifts-> hp stuff.

So, do I like the movies? The short answer is yes, very much. The long answer is yes, but I like some more than others for various reasons. I’m not a purist when it comes to transferring books onto film or tv. They’re two (technically 3) very different mediums, and the stories have to be told in different ways, highlighting different details. Sometimes I like the movie/show better, and most of the time I like the book better (bc you get a more thorough understanding of the story and the characters’ motivations). I definitely prefer the hp books to the films; however, I like them as an individual work of art that tells, perhaps, a slightly different story.

Bc I’m me, I wrote a novel in response. See below if you’re interested.

Overall, I think they did an excellent job with hp. The trio’s acting abilities grew with the story, and the adult cast was phenomenal. The music is also particularly good. I like the original 3 scores by John Williams a lot (those are all the recognizable melodies), but I actually like Patrick Doyle’s GoF score the best. It’s big and grand, and the new themes have depth, a totally different style and feel than before, which is perfect when you consider the change in tone from book 3 to 4. I only wish he’d kept the original themes more present. Alexandre Desplat’s 7th and 8th are really pretty too.

Movie-wise, the only one I really struggle with is Half-Blood Prince. Dumbledore and Harry are SO out of character. It’s happened with Dumbledore before (“HARRY, DiD yoU PuT yoUR namE in THe GobLeT oF FiRE?”), but Harry’s personality has been pretty spot on (for me). In movie 6, they have him hobnobbing with Slughorn willingly; he’s so weirdly bubbly and happy to please, which really goes against the whole Legilimens thing in the book that makes him miserable, and the Ginny scene in the RoR was disappointing and anti-climactic. I bought his relationship with Ginny in the books early on bc it was built up. She became her own character, interesting and powerful. It’s not believable in the movies. Excepting PoA, which I’ll mention next, I didn’t really have problems with them omitting plot points or adding details. You can’t have everything, and some things don’t work on screen. The problem for me was the difference in character. He was a completely different person, and it was jarring. Do I hate the movie? No. It’s just my least favorite.

Prisoner of Azkaban is my favorite book hands down, and it’s bc Harry finds out he has family, people who love him; and he finds out more about his parents and their generation. He goes from being an orphan with a distant godfather-like figure (Dumbledore) and a friendly but somewhat irresponsible uncle-like figure (Hagrid) to also having a real godfather (Sirius) who loves him deeply and wants to be in his life and a kindly, role model uncle figure (lupin). Essentially, he finds out how much he is loved, and he now has ppl, ppl who are emotionally available, he can look up to. We won’t get into how much it breaks my heart that he loses them. So, needless to say, for me at least, the whole marauders plot line is very important, so when they cut it out of the 3rd film and then ended it with him flying on his broom, I was really upset. It took me years to watch that film and be able to see the artistry of the cinematography and appreciate how beautiful of a film it was. In the end, I think it captured the essence of the story more than it retold the story, and I’ve grown to love it for what it is. The important details are there. Harry grows; he changes; he learns; he just does it differently. Like many who loved the 4th book best and were disappointed in the movie (most of my friends), I didn’t initially like it. It grew on me.

I could give you opinions about all the films, honestly, but I doubt anyone’s gotten this far. As you can see, I love hp and know it intimately, which is why I struggle so much with JK turning into an evil troll. I can’t just turn this part of me off, and it hurts. It was my first great obsession, and apart from maybe sobbe (we’ll have to see about longevity there—and even then it doesn’t compare bc of the grand scale), I don’t know that anything comes close to how I feel about it. I’ve moved on, but it’s still a huge part of who I am, who I was.

[zanethepa1n]

I just watched crystalized part two...

NINJAGO CRYSTALIZED PART TWO SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!! 

oh my god it was so fucking good??? and lIKE SO MUCH GOOD PIXANE CONTENT AND “INNER STEEL” PLAYING ON THE LAST EPISODE... AND GARMADON PLANTING CHRISTOFERN...AND SAYING “I CANT KEEP CARRYING YOU AROUND WITH ME” [sobbing] and the ice emperor episode was so goofy but at the same time it opens possibility for more zane angst... like?? i imagine by season 16 he was like “finally! ive almost completely recovered from my identity issues from living a whole other life for decades! thank the master!” and then he gets broken and pixal has to witness not oNLY what the ice emperor looked like, but his personality and the bullshit that comes along with it for probably ho ur s not to mention that it’s hinted that zane was like,, concious as himself during this experience and basically fighting with his own alter ego for control over his body

anD the fact he was calling for vex!? “vex!! vex!! lets throw them in the dungeon >:((” he was so goofy and..and..the compatible episode.. i cried, literally pixal saying?? “i don’t know if there’s a realm after this life for beings such as us, but if there is, i will find you there”??? it made me so emotional and- her laugh after he woke up!! urggh they’re so,, so adorable i love them and ZANE WITH WINGS dragon form,, zane with wings,, zane...wings..fly.. also i think it’s hilarious that garmadon faked his own death just for lloyd to get scared by his own reflection and harumi realizing that her parents dying wasnt lloyd/the ninja’s fault-- (i mean, it wasnt their fault to begin with but yknow, she was and is probably still grieving so i get it) and everyone being together on the last episode... god, it was so amazing i’ll probably continuously spew random thoughts about it every now and then, but this is all i have for now jsjs

[thedeathdeelers]

here’s a random snippet from the 13 going on 30 au that’s been living rent free in my head for actual months and that i will probably never fully write but! hey ho

here’s a scene that happens towards the end:

——

She slips in through the open door, quietly easing it shut behind her. The sight before her stops her in her tracks at the threshold, her heart stuttering in her chest at the familiar scene.

He’s standing by the window in his suit pants and white shirt, staring out as he absentmindedly rolls up his sleeves — a reflex. She watches his fingers deftly working the buttons on the cuffs, repeatedly folding the material as he moves up his forearm to his elbow. Her eyes are fixed on his movements, frozen in place.

Without warning, he turns around to face her, his fingers stopping their activity as his features cycle through one emotion after the other.

Shock. Surprise. Joy. Uncertainty. Pain.

“Hi.” She waves at him, feeling shy in his presence for the first time...ever.

“Hey.”

His fingers resume their job, working on his other sleeve and smoothing out the edges of his folded cuffs, his eyes never leaving hers.

It’s quiet and awkward and she hates that she’s the reason they’re so far apart. He waits for her to break the silence, his hands stilling before slipping into his pockets.

She takes in a deep breath, steadying herself as she twists her fingers and weaves them together, willing herself to say what she came here to say.

“I- I don’t know what Carrie told you..or what she said I did or didn’t do, I-“ She swallows, taking another deep breath as she breaks eye contact, her eyes involuntarily landing on the ring box resting on his bedside table.

Right. He’s- he’s not going to be her Luke anymore...he’s-

“Julie?”

His voice brings her out of her train of thought, her eyes snapping back up to his.

“Um, whatever Carrie told you, whoever she was describing, that- that wasn’t me, Luke. I would never-“ She cuts herself off, shaking her head, desperate to get her message across. “You have to believe me,” she pleads.

“I don’t care what Carrie said, Julie. I stopped trusting her after she tried to steal lyrics off my journal back in the 5th grade.”

Julie’s lips twitch at his words, at the memory of Luke standing up against their middle school bully. She inches forward, one foot in front of the other, moving further into the room she spent so much of her childhood in. With him.

“Luke...I- I’m not the awful person that I know I was. I- I don’t know what happened but everything I thought I wanted in life when I was 13 is...I was wrong.”

Luke remains silent, his eyes unreadable.

“These last few weeks, these last few days — they’ve been the happiest I’ve been in a long time and that’s- that’s because of you. You have to know deep down that I’m- that I haven’t changed from same old Julie, your neighbour, your best friend, your- Me. Just Julie, from 1995.”

“Jules-“ He starts, his voice tired and weary, raising his hand up to rub his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

He used her nickname. Maybe she still has a chance.

With a small boost of hope, she carries on.

“Because I- I’d like to think if you truly believed that, if you knew I was still the same old Julie, that you’d- that you um- you wouldn’t be getting married to someone that wasn’t....me today.”

She looks down at her fidgeting fingers, taking in a few deep breaths before she flicks her eyes back up at Luke, her gaze immediately locking with his.

He looks tortured, his mouth twitching at the corners, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Julie you- I’m not gonna lie to you I- These past few weeks brought back memories and feelings that I didn’t know I could feel anymore but....” He sighs, looking away as his eyes flicker to the box on his nightstand. “But I already made a promise, Julie. I- I have a good thing going for me with Ellie, and apart from the last few weeks you were basically a stranger to me for over a decade, I—I can’t just....” He trails off, his eyes finding hers once more.

Julie’s heart drops to her feet, her hands shaking at the reality of her situation. She messed up. She messed up, she messed up, she messed up. But that’s her problem, not his.

She hurries to nod at his words, tripping over herself as she tries to reassure him — this wasn’t his fault, it was hers.

“No- no no that’s- of course Luke I mean, yeah you- I just showed up out of the blue and- I’m— Oh God I’m so sorry, I-“ She turns her head, blinking rapidly to get rid of the tears as she blindly starts to walk back the way she came from. As her hand rests on the handle, she allows herself to look at him over her shoulder one more time, her eyes lingering on the unshed tears in his.

“I- I hope you have an amazing life, Luke. Truly. You deserve the best, always have.”

He nods at her, a grim smile on his lips as she turns around to walk out of the door— and out of his life.

“Wait, Julie- I have something for you.” She stops at his words, steadying herself before turning back around.

She watches him as he walks over to his nightstand, pulling open the top drawer and grabbing something from inside. Her breath hitches in her throat when she sees the item in his hand, bewildered and heart aching at the sight of it.

“You kept it?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper.

He lifts his free hand up to rub the back of his neck, his nervous tick still present even after all these years.

“Yeah after you uh- kinda threw it at me when you told me to leave and um. I didn’t want to trash it....” He flips through the blank pages, pulling out a packet from inside. “It even has the half-empty wishing dust in here.” He looks up at her, their eyes lingering on each other before he looks away again.

“Anyway, I thought you should have it now that you’re- you know. Back in the game, so to speak.” He slowly walks towards her, lifting his arm up to hand her the personalised journal.

Julie reaches out, her fingers coming in contact with the soft cover, heart breaking at the memory only he remembers entirely.

Her eyes are stinging as she quickly thanks Luke, murmuring a few words of congratulations as she rushes out the open door.

And just as she’s pulling it closed behind her, she hears his final words follow her out—

“I’ve always loved you.”

Julie hugs the journal tight against her broken heart, and walks away.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

After reading your opinion on Molly Weasley, i want to know: What are you're opinions on the Weasley family? Besides Ron & Molly that is.

Five characters? In one post? Well, alright, here we go.

The Weasleys as a Whole

I’ve mentioned this before but JKR writes the Weasleys to clearly be a believable but ideal family. They’re all fiercely loyal, progressive per wizarding world standards, love each other and Harry deeply, and have this wonderful off-kilter joyous house where there’s always some rambunctious thing going on. 

Harry comes to associate the Weasleys with family and, personally, I believe a large part of him marrying Ginny boils down to it will make him a Weasley for real. 

That said, they’ve got some major issues. They’re very righteous people who, as a whole, will ice you out the moment they even suspect you do something that disagrees with them. You don’t even have to do it, what you did or didn’t do doesn’t even have to be something terrible or something bad, but god help you if the family decides they’re done with you. 

They’re very resentful of people like the Malfoys. This isn’t just because Lucius is a smarmy, pompous, ass (he is) or that he indirectly almost murdered Ginny but seems to mostly be because Lucius has so much money. All of their interactions seem to boil down to the money. More than this though, the Weasleys seem fully supportive of laws that... well, used against themselves would be a travesty but used against the likes of the Malfoys it’s about damn time.

They’re unquestioningly loyal to Dumbledore. Granted, most people we see in canon are, Dumbledore’s very very very good at convincing people he’s a saint. However, these guys are practically his cult member to the point where they do things like refuse to have Harry over the summer, even before Voldemort returned, because Dumbledore told them not to. 

They also never really adopt Harry into the family. Oh they give him a nice sweater, he comes over every once in a while to the house, he’s very good friends with Ron but he’s mostly treated just like that, a good friend. Now, there’s nothing wrong with this, except the way JKR sets it up we’re supposed to believe this is the family Harry found. It’s just that the family Harry’s found let’s him stay in a house with bars on his window where twelve-year-old Ron tells them, “Harry’s muggle family is really really awful” in a way that should have been raising red flags. Hermione practically lives at the Weasleys, Harry never does.

Now, are the Weasleys evil? No, far from it, they’re ordinary people who act in ways I’d expect ordinary people too. Technically they didn’t have to do anything more for Harry than they did, they didn’t have to hate Lucius Malfoy for better reasons, and they don’t have to be even slightly less worshipful of Dumbledore. They’re people, and they’re fine characters, but the overwhelming worship and love of the Weasleys we see across fandom does get on my nerves.

But you asked for individuals, so here we go.

 Arthur Weasley

Arthur is the epitome of “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” in the worst of ways and is, frankly, a giant awful joke to me. He’s the white kid you see going around with dread locks, a beanie the color of the Jamaican flag, smoking weed, and attempting to speak like Bob Marley 

Only, because he does it with muggle things, we’re supposed to find him funny and progressive.

Arthur is absolutely, albeit unwittingly, condescending in his love of muggle knickknacks. He has no idea how any of it actually works, not limited to how muggles could possible survive without the gold standard, but ardently believes he does because he can enchant the car to fly. Seriously, that he believes he’s an expert on muggle culture, as a pureblood wizard who heads an office in the ministry on it, is the worst part. His love of toasters comes across as, “Wow, look how cool it is that these poor little muggles made all this neat stuff. We should absolutely love the muggles because of it!” And that he heads an office in the ministry called “The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts” which is all about catching down Jackass style pranksters who think it would be hilarious of they enchanted toasters to bludgeon muggles to death...

Goddammit Arthur, why do you exist?

Right, otherwise, he’s got some pride issues going on. Part of the reason Percy is excommunicated is not so much that Percy doesn’t believe Harry, but because Percy dared to do better than Arthur in his own career. Arthur is stuck in his position as head of a joke of a department, he is an underling at its finest, and frankly likely only has that position because he’s a pureblood and the idea of putting a halfblood or even muggleborn at the head of a department dealing with muggles just made the higher ups shudder. (Don’t tell Arthur that though, he likes to think he’s not benefitting from nepotism). 

Arthur goes so far to accuse Percy as Fudge’s secretary as spying on him. Arthur, the guy who heads “Misuse of Muggle Artifacts”. Yeah, Arthur, I’m sure Fudge is really wasting his time using his straight laced secretary to find out all your dirty secrets. 

He also tends to see the world as very black and white. When Skeeter in book 4 writes an article after the Quidditch World Cup disaster complaining about the ministry’s lax security in enabling domestic terrorists to enter (something completely valid and true by the way) Arthur is so personally offended that both he and Percy go straight to the ministry to complain about Rita Skeeter and her daring to assume freedom of speech! HOW DARE SHE CALL THE MINISTRY’S NON-EXISTENT SECURITY AT THE WORLD CUP LAX! (To be fair, she also cited Arthur as having been in attendance at the event, a ministry employee, and having done nothing but, well, this is also true Arthur. You’re in a guerilla, underground, resistance movement. If I didn’t already think the Order was a joke this would kind of highlight it for me).

He’s also very resentful of Lucius Malfoy, and it seems to mostly be about the money. Arthur and Molly have a severe spending problem and actively resent that Lucius is swimming in money. That Arthur is ardently pleased about a law being passed in which the ministry without warrant can ransack Lucius Malfoy’s home... 

Well, Arthur, imagine the slippery slope if the government decides that it would like to search the Weasley home without warrant? In fact, he doesn’t even have to imagine it, as the beloved government in a few short years turns against him and then it’s all about how corrupt the ministry is. 

Arthur’s delightfully narrowminded, basically, and reminds us at nearly every opportunity.

Percy Weasley

Mostly, I just feel bad for Percy. Percy’s the son/brother that nobody likes and he’s painfully aware of that fact. He doesn’t fit in with the others, he has far too much ambition for the Gryffindor family and they resent him for it, and then he dares to say things like “I don’t know guys, Voldemort resurrecting from the dead after decades doesn’t sound plausible, we know Harry’s a little off kilter, and Dumbledore’s one shady dude”. Percy happens to be wrong about Voldemort resurrecting (and admits as much when the evidence is plainly visible), but he’s pretty on the money with the rest of it.

Regardless, growing up we see Ron constantly hating on Percy along with the rest of the siblings. I’m sure Percy is obnoxious, and certainly full of himself after making prefect and head boy, but he’s very clearly even before Order of the Phoenix the Least Favorite Brother (TM).

Then the Weasley family completely ices him out for a) getting a very high ranking position very quickly as Fudge’s secretary and b) not being gung ho about Dumbledore saying crazy things in the paper. Remember that to Percy Harry is Ron’s weird friend who seems to get into highly illegal activities every other week. From Percy’s point of view, it’s probably a matter of time before Harry becomes a crack head in Knockturn Alley (or given how behind the times wizards tend to be, an opium den). 

He’s constantly getting Ron into not only trouble but life threatening situations, is erratic and apparently a parseltongue of all things, and now Harry’s flipped his lid and saying that Voldemort has been resurrected after having gone through a very traumatic experience of watching a classmate somehow die. 

While we see Percy kind of (sort of)  make up with the family it’s clear that for Percy to have any relation with these people he’s the one who will always, ALWAYS, have to come crawling back on his knees and begging for forgiveness. It’s the Weasley way or the highway and I imagine, at some point probably a little after/during that epilogue, Percy will just slowly drift away because it’s just not worth it anymore.

Percy’s very much the black sheep of the family.

Fred and George Weasley

You all are going to kill me, but I actually don’t care in the slightest about Fred and George Weasley. This is because they basically have no personality aside from “funny”. 

They just have their weird, tandem, twin act and are either playing jokes on the school or else serving as Deus ex Machina in giving Harry magical items such as the Marauder’s Map for no apparent reason. The plot told them it was time, I guess. 

Their jokes, while not as bad as Sirius and James’ “Let’s sexually harrass Severus Snape by pantsing and beating him at the edge of Hogwarts lake” or Sirius’ “Let’s get Snape eaten by a werewolf!” are still often needlessly cruel and... kind of pointless. They harass Slytherin house constantly just because they happen to be Slytherins, they’re acceptable victims (which of course makes house tension that much worse). Harry gets sent a toilet seat in the hospital because... that’s funny? Har de har? 

They’re so indistinguishable from one another I routinely see people mistake which one got his ear chopped off and which one died. Because the point is, that we can’t tell the difference! It doesn’t matter who lived and who died because all we know is that Freorge is dead! 

Similarly, you see tons of fics around where character of the day ends up in this weird twincestuous relationship with Fred and George and it’s not only for a) that delightful twincest but b) because they’re such a singular unit that any attempt to pair one with somebody else feels weird. So you just get these porn fics about Fred and George being weird rapey teenagers who seem like they’d be more interested dating each other. 

Charlie Weasley

I really have no thoughts on Charlie. He raises dragons in Romania, the family loves him. Now, dragon raising feels like one of the most dangerous jobs in the Harry Potter universe, like Charlie had just gone and signed up to be a lumberjack but he seems to like it?

We really don’t see much of Charlie, he’s just the obligatory older Weasley son so that the Weasleys can be this ridiculously large family.

Bill Weasley

We see slightly more of Bill, but again, not enough to really leave an impression. We know that his marrying Fleur sent Molly into a complete state, and that they’re going to have awkward Christmas dinners forever because of it where Fleur just sits there and pretends not to loathe every second of Molly’s presence while Molly notes how bad it is that Victoire got stuck with that ugly pink hair instead of the Weasley red. 

Bill doesn’t seem to really do anything about this. He still marries Fleur, but we don’t really see a major confrontation where he tells the family “Look, I’m marrying her, so grow up.” So, I imagine he just tries to smile pleasantly and tells Fleur to just endure it for another few hours. He loves his family, his family’s great, but they only have to see Fleur once a year at Christmas.

Ginny Weasley

Ginny is weird. She’s this weird, frankly, almost personality-less void whose sole obsession in life seems to be marrying Harry. She and Harry end up in the world’s weirdest relationship and I honestly have no idea how people ship it other than canon told them to.

Ginny’s... well, first off, she’s very much in love with an idea. She had always worshipped Harry Potter but then he personally saves her life in what was a horrifically traumatic year and so that feeling just grows even more. Despite being Ron’s sister, she barely seems to know Harry, and everything she seems to like about it are just things she made up.

I imagine her and Harry’s marriage will be littered with affairs on her end. Not divorce though, because Harry would never admit his wife is having affairs on him all the time even if someone directly confronted him. Harry also won’t admit he’s gay. 

More than though we get hints of a personality. Ginny’s a fiery red-head tomboy with a temper. But... Well, it’s only ever hints. She never felt like a real person to me. She has I think one throwaway line about the Chamber of Secrets incident and how it personally affected her. We’re told she’s great at the bat boogey hex so we know she’s a fiery independent woman.

She feels more like a character sheet than an actual person. 

Whenever she’s around I always had this nagging question in my head where I ask why Ginny’s here. She has a lot of potential but nothing’s ever done with her. And when something is, it’s to get her into this bizarre relationship with Harry where he imagines there’s a green rage monster in his chest that loves her skin.

Okay Harry, if you say so. 

TL;DR: The Weasleys aren’t evil or anything, I’m not on Team Bash Them All, but they are shortsighted, ordinary, people who don’t deserve to be worshipped as all that is good in this world.

[anaer]

WALLY

WALLY WEST ok!!!

First impression:

Okay, so this is actually hilarious to me because my first impression of Wally was, like…Barry. As in, I read I think it was…Blackest Night because I wanted to get into DC after a lifelong commitment to Marvel, and that was right after Barry had come back to life, and I was like “Oh, damn. The Flash seems cool; I should read more with him.” SACRILEGE, basically. So I went digging into the annals of every good Flash comic before that, which was OBVIOUSLY Wally, but like I fully went into that not caring about the difference between them I just wanted superspeed fun. I was a fraud.

But honestly as soon as I started reading him, I loved him. I loved him more than Barry. Barry can go die, things were fine then. It was like…love at first sight, fictional character edition. I consumed SO MANY FLASH COMICS in SUCH a short time and Wally was all I thought about for, like, a month.

Impression now:

There has never and there will NEVER BE a character that I will EVER stan as hard as I stan Wally West. He’s the perfect character. Everything about him: made ENTIRELY for me. His sass. His angst. His PERFECT LOVE STORY. The way I connect to him as such a flawless representation of what Adult ADHD feels like to me (which in hindsight is half of why I immediately fell in love with him, but I mean: did I even know what ADHD was when I started reading the Flash? Hah. No.)

Oh my god, even his completely SHIT relationship with his parents, his self-worth issues, the fact that he is, in fact, better than everyone else around him (cough: Barry). Every time he’s an asshole, I adore. Every time he’s sweet, I adore. HE’S SO PROBLEMATIC. Why do people think he’s a perfect best friend type; he’s a grade A asshole!!! I mean, also he’s a great friend, but he’s the kind of good friend who knows he’s an asshole but makes it fun, so everyone likes him.

But honestly, it’s his character development. People always like to say that Dick embodies the whole legacy aspect of DC the best, becoming Nightwing, but that’s not true to me. It’s Wally. Wally learns, grows, develops, and surpasses Barry. It’s literally his whole story. And not just in story: there’s been SO MUCH conflict around him since they brought Barry back because he even became a hell of a lot more popular than Barry in real life, too, among fans until they decided to write him out of existence. It’s a testament to how strong his character was that they got rid of him for five years, and really fucked him over for a good decade, and he still has such a strong fanbase.

But, like, you grow with him. He goes successfully from like…this complete, utter asshole of a man-ho whose got a good heart to like…a still short-tempered but generally friendly, lovable, committed father and husband. And he doesn’t regress as a character; they’re not resetting him back over to where he started. His status quo successfully changed. His character development stuck, and he had a very clear character, a very clear personality, in a medium where a lot of other characters don’t get that. Personalities change with the writers, but even with that…Wally’s writers grew him so well, building one off the other until he developed into the character he is today. I never, ever get tired of rereading his Flash.

He's the greatest character in DC, fuck everyone else. No, I do not take criticism.

Favorite moment:

SO MANY. But the top one has got to be what he did to Inertia. That was really, really, really fucked up. But also there was that time his dad was like “hey I murdered your mom, join me in evil” and Wally was like “what the fuck, dad, I’m calling the police” and then Rudy had him beaten up by evil Russian speedsters.

OH. Or the time Rudy got Wally to join a cult by pretending to be a ghost.

WAIT NO.

My absolute favourite moment is 2016’s Rebirth, when he comes back. Those years without him were SO long for me, and I was so, so angry at DC. I had stopped reading entirely, and that comic was BEAUTIFUL and that hug between Wally and Barry was everything. And then DC fucked it all up but. That moment. That moment was so good.

I mean, but also, the VERY NUMBER ONE BEST IS:

Idea for a story:

All my ideas lately. There are way too many, and I am writing most of them. But to pick one:

Wally is a disaster bi who doesn’t know he’s bi because obviously everyone is into both and you choose, right?

Unpopular opinion:

Birdflash is the absolute WORST Wally ship, and the majority of people who ship it honestly don’t give a fuck about Wally. They ship it just to pair Dick up with someone to love him, and Wally loses all personality and semblance of himself. Honestly, I used to read birdflash because I will read pretty much anything with Wally, but the fandom turned me off. People act like it’s the default ship, like of course everyone HAS to ship them, and then Wally’s life becomes just…everything centered around Dick most of the time, I’ve even seen this to the point where people act like Wally’s relationships with Barry and especially Iris just don’t exist or matter. Those things are the things that make Wally who he is. I like Wally and Dick’s friendship, generally, but aside from canon shoving it down my throat, I wouldn’t even really categorize Dick as Wally’s best friend for most of his life. Maybe his old, childhood best friend, and the friendship still lasts, but for the bulk of Wally’s Flash run, his best friend was 100% Piper. Like, Dick was not one of Wally’s most important relationships. That was very much like a “someone randomly decided to make this a thing” without the actual story to back it up, which I find endlessly frustrating.

That being said, that time Dick and Wally roadtripped together is also one of my favourite issues and one of those peak ADHD Wally issues.

Favorite relationship:

Oh, this is the easiest. Wally/Linda. I’ve never loved a canon ship more. They’re perfect for each other in every way, they complement each other well, they build each other up, they EARNED their happy ending, and their kids are fucking adorable. Honestly, Linda was the best thing to ever happen to Wally, but I also love their relationship because its not just about making him a better person. She, too, learns and grows from their relationship, and she understands him, and they generally don’t have any like…super contrived, annoying relationship drama which is the bane of my existence in comics. I mean, aside from that one time Geoff Johns decided to make Linda leave and the cops decide that Wally had murdered her for no reason at all. Geoff Johns doesn’t count. Everything Waid did with them – and honestly, not even just Waid, this goes back to the FANTASTIC early days of them hating each other and growing into friends with Moessner-Loebs – was just…perfect writing. Linda’s a hero in her own right. When Wally “died” and she went after Kobra herself because she was so distraught I was shook. And then when Wally showed up again in that blast of lightning to stop Kobra from killing her it was so…good… Terminal Velocity is SO. GOOD.

Runners Up: Batflash. Roy/Wally. Piper/Wally. Hunter/Wally. Anyone-but-Dick-Grayson/Wally.

Favorite headcanon:

Wally is a super duper closeted bi. He doesn’t realise he’s bi. Everyone he’s close to has realised he’s bi. Linda knows. Piper knows. All the Titans know. (Roy definitely knows, hell yeah.) Wally isn’t even so much in denial as he doesn’t even think it’s a possibility, and it’s entirely Barry’s fault. Barry told him it was fine to mess around with boys, all guys do it, but then you settle down with a woman because you’re Straight. (Barry ALSO had some internal ish going on, I’m sure he worked it out at some point)

Anyway, Wally internalized that because everything Barry ever said is correct, so, no, Linda. He’s OBVIOUSLY straight, why would you think otherwise—so what if he made out with Roy, what does that matter?