#hmu to plot!

[crtastrophe]

Kidpix commission for @facelessoldgargoyle! (character belongs to me)

[benevolenterrancy]

Swords pining for each other's cultivator is my new favorite type of pining. Love your NieYao content! <3

I don't suppose we could get Baxia or Hensheng throwing a tantrum while Jin Guangyao / Nie Mingjue are away, leaving their owners to deal with the embarrassing aftermath?

Also, do you have any recs you'd recommend with these two?

this is the exact moment Nie Huaisang realised he was going to have to start meddling in his big brother's love life (con't: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Hensheng, on the other hand, doesn't throw tantrums but WILL sulk...

[oki-coma]

hell yea I like MGS for the plot

[my-mistake-lets-do-this-again]

i had an incredibly dumb (amazing) idea

J&W dating sim. it starts as a dating sim but gradually transitions into a survival game where Jeeves is hunting you the fuck down

it would be called “Wooing Wooster”

actually let me know if you want to help because fr i have some folks who might be down to help already so it would be awesome to have a team

[writeouswriter]

*banging fists on table* more mentally ill characters in stories that aren't just about them being mentally ill! More mentally ill characters in sci-fi, in fantasy, in romance and fun and high stakes situations and everything in between, as the heroes, as complex individuals, multifaceted and treated with respect, not having their needs and differences ignored or skirted around but, again, not having them be their only trait or plot point/entire premise! Please, I'm begging, on my hands and knees, there's a place for these topics and characters in realistic, reflective and literary fiction, yeah, but there's also a place in those magical, mystical, action packed, mysterious and alien worlds, give them to ME

[skitskatdacat63]

Roleswap anyone??

Tell me Fernando wouldn't make a fantastic general/emperor, and that Napoleon wouldn't make a fanastic driver/tp!!

[boatboysrowout]

i am So Very Interested in the burger king vs mcdonalds au if you're willing to share more 👁️👁️

i'm so glad you asked

it's all grian's fault, of course. 'it'll be great if all my friends got a summer job around the same place!' he said. 'it'll be fun hanging out on our lunch breaks!' he said. 'this is a genius idea, nothing will go wrong!' he said.

it goes wrong in less than a day.

it all starts with scar's job application getting rejected from burger king. he takes this very personally, as the man who interviews him is grian's friend who had just been hired the day before, and scar had been assured he would get an easy in. ren, however, didn't like how many questions scar was asking about their ice cream machine and where their security cameras were placed.

so out scar goes, sulking his way through a successful interview to work at the white castle down the road, joining bdubs and cleo. the rest of grians friends end up scattered in shops around the two restaurants with varying degrees of satisfaction with their summer jobs.

grian, as he is wont to do, waffles around a bit before committing to a job. he's pretty sure he's going to join bigb at the library, but before he decides, he goes to pay scar a visit to make sure he's still not sulking about the burger king fiasco.

that, too, is a mistake.

grian doesn't know what happened. he swears he just meant to stop in and say hi. and maybe play a little prank! just a funny little joke! only he didn't realize how much hair spray bdubs uses and how flammable that made his hair, and really, how could grian have known that the second after he fled the scene of his crime, scar would walk in at the exact wrong moment holding a lighter, making him look like the guiltiest motherfucker on earth?

it's absolutely not his fault.

but.

now scar is out of a job again, and he's gotten it in his head that the only way to get his revenge on ren is to work at the mcdonalds across the street from the burger king and, to quote scar, "make him regret not taking my offer." and listen. this is the third job scar's had in two days. it kind of feels a little bit like grian's responsibility to make sure he doesn't get fired from this one too. but it'll be fine. what else could go wrong?

so much. so, so much.

scar almost immediately goes off the rails. he creates his own customer rewards program in which he refuses to serve a customer if they don't pledge their undying loyalty to the mcdonalds in exchange for scar certified McReputation points. this somehow is remarkably successful despite grain's repeated warnings that this is a scam- scar pulls some strings and grian is forced into kitchen duty after he tries to warn one too many customers. martyn and ren catch word of this and try institute a similar program, albeit to a much less successful degree. scar, however, cannot let that stand.

grian also cannot let that stand, but this is more due to martyn coming over every day during his lunch break and annoying grian by telling increasingly convoluted jokes all ending with a punchline relating to the mcdonald's broken ice cream machine.

so that afternoon grian and scar pay the burger king a visit. scar goes up to the front counter and gives ren and martyn the longest sales pitch of his life, something about cereal, and while they're distracted grain climbs through the drive through window and smashes their ice cream machine with a baseball bat.

that's the beginning of the end.

ren takes the attack way too personally. he gets naked, makes martyn crown him with a shitty cardboard crown, dubs himself the burger king, and declares war on the mcdonalds.

he and martyn set out to recruit for their army amongst the rest of their friends in the area to varying degrees of success. they first go to visit joel in his art shop, but quickly decide to leave after the first thing they hear upon walking in is a conversation in the back room in which someone appears to be blackmailing joel over something in the basement.

they decide to try impulse and tango down at the arcade, and both of them are so confused by ren's sales pitch they just agree to make him go away (they do the same thing when scar and grian visit them a few hours later).

ren and martyn's visit to the white castle is the worst yet. instead of walking in and recruiting bdubs and cleo with their impassioned speech and thirst for justice, the burger king and his hand walk into an active warzone.

there's smoke everywhere. bdubs is screaming. martyn swears he hears a gun go off. cleo is cackling. someone runs past them entirely engulfed in flames. as ren and martyn make a hasty retreat etho cheerfully greets them from his seat on a bench outside the building, tinkering with something that looks suspiciously like a pipe bomb.

they decide to take a break from recruiting after that.

meanwhile, scar and grian have been busy. they've recruited jimmy and scott from the florists down the road to launch a yelp smear campaign against the burger king, tanking them from a respectable 3.8 stars to 1 star in an afternoon. to a normal human being, this would mean nothing, but they text a screenshot of this to martyn and ren with the caption 'this u?'

martyn and ren have never once reacted to anything normally or proportionality in their life.

skizz, one of their regulars, also takes great offense to this. he insists that this is a devastating blow against the burger king's honor, and vows to get revenge.

no one's sure exactly how he does it, but within an hour he manages to trace one of the bad reviews back to jimmy and promptly doxes him, getting him fired due to the content of his surprisingly popular google+ account.

scar and grian, after laughing hysterically for an hour over the fact that jimmy was a google+ influencer, continue their reign of terror over the burger king by taking a selfie of them next to the burger king drive through menu, which they somehow have relocated to the roof of the mcdonalds.

it's the last straw for ren.

decked out in a red cape made of the burger king curtains and armed with a spatula and the fury of a thousands suns, ren marches across the street to the mcdonalds and challenges scar and grian to a winner-takes-all duel.

a crowd begins to gather, with nearly everybody grian knows save for the people involved in what has been dubbed the white castle war, forming a loose arch behind ren and martyn as they begin to chant for a fight.

grian and scar, who came outside to see what all the commotion was about, both predictably panic at the sight of two men in capes charging towards them backed by a crowd chanting for blood. grian tries to claw his way back up the roof while scar, possessed by the spirit of apollo, does the only thing he can and chucks a potato at ren's head.

that potato hits ren square in the forehead and knocks him out cold.

the crowd goes silent.

martyn, thinking ren is dead, drops to his knees and cradles his unconscious body close to his chest and dramatically confesses his everlasting love, vowing to never leave ren's side and to never stop spreading the tale of ren's 'grey long and strong' bits.

grian, upon witnessing this, realizes to his abject horror that he also has gay feelings for his manager.

he has no idea what to do with these feelings, and the crowd is still chanting fight, and he's experienced a lot of stress and unexpected emotions in the last five minutes, so he really can't be blamed when he turns on his heel and punches scar in the face.

scar, surprised but absolutely willing to go along with it, punches grian back, and they begin beating the shit out of each other in the most pathetic fist fight a mcdonalds parking lot has ever witnessed.

meanwhile, there's police cars and fire trucks with sirens on speeding down the road past them, and someone in the crowd realizes 'oh shit are those all going to the white castle?'

so the crowd immediately abandons the world's worst fight to go see what the hell has been going down in the white castle.

it takes a bit, but, with martyn still confessing his love and sobbing over ren's unconscious body, grian finally manages to land a lucky hit and knocks scar out, sending him crumpling to the ground. for the second time that day, grian realizes with horror what he's done, and frantically tries to run to get a medic only to trip over scar's unconscious body and knock himself out as well.

The headline of the local newspaper the next morning reads as follows:

...anyone wanna ask me about my last life mall au

[wafflethief]

i'm jihyo and i'm here to steal your heart and chat with you about my latest hyperfixations @ mojitofied <3

[accultant]

wishlist: bhaal temple era iago meeting someone on a rare excursion outside of the temple. having Someone else in their life they can interact with that isnt their brother. finally having an excuse to go outside more than once every few months. trying desperately to live this double life and pretend they are NOT in a murder cult so as to not ruin these little escapades. the light and life coming back to their eyes a little more every time they're outside. returning to the temple getting a little harder every time they have to go back. that lust for life coming back to them prematurely, as opposed to after they've already escaped in their main verse. having to deal with this growing desire to Live vs their loyalty to their brother and their fear of leaving. trying to keep it secret from the bhaalists and especially Puck (sorry puck..). an eventual reveal of their cultist hannah montana life. the epic highs and lows... please does anyone see the vision can anyone hear me

[ashton-ryder]

//open. ext. rooftop garden - day.

Ashton in the past few years had always been an occasional visitor to the roof, balloting for his own plot in order the help conduct some experiments on root vegetables. Sometimes he'd just go up there enjoy the sun, read a book, but the scenery didn't really make for a pretty backdrop anymore. He tensed and turned hearing footsteps that joined him. "Here to take in the view?" Or maybe wallow in their self pity together.

[narah-nightbloom]

Okay so I only found out about ILW a few days ago somehow, and I literally finished it in two days and a half instead of doing uni work.

I need to scream a little bit now, sorry and thank you

THIS WAS SO GOOD I CAN’T EVEN-

*sobs*

[diwatafms]

LOCATION: atlas tap house FOR: everyone @helltownhqstarters

it was a thursday night, diwata knew they've got things to take care of tomorrow but they aren't needed until the early evening. so she was by the bar, nursing her....third? fourth? mug of bavarian lager. she would do the drinking at home but she couldn't stand how quiet it gets sometimes, given she had been living by herself for the past couple of years now. she downs the rest of her drink and gestures the bartender for another when a familiar someone from distance catching their attention. “are you just gonna stand there for the whole time or are you going to join me?" diwata says without looking up, as she takes a sip of her drink.

[antoinettefms]

LOCATION: the jersey devil, hours after the chaos FOR: everyone @helltownhqstarters

"here, looks like you need it more than i do." there's really no solid news yet of what really had went down at the summer solstice, but it seemed enough for antoinette to conclude to herself that whatever may have happened, it was a sight nobody deserved to see. she knew that there was always something strange in this town, a place she grew up in, but as of late, the dancer knew it was more than just the feeling that engulfed this place. she moved close, cautiously to sit beside the other person. "anything i can do? keep the drinks coming, or something else? just tell me what you need, babe. i got you."

[cooperxjames]

Cooper had picked up a shift at Cowbells and he was enjoying the opportunity to watch people attempt to ride (and mostly fail) ride the mechanical bull. It was a fast paced night, but not super chaotic, and he was just enjoying a night that felt a little bit like home. He rolled his neck a bit, turning from the shelf behind the bar, and looking at whoever had sat at the bar.

"Hey," he smiled, grabbing a glass and sliding it in front of them. "How can I help you tonight?" he asked. "And, if you feel brave enough to give Millie a go and stay on, drinks are half off," he said, his lips quirking into a little grin.

( @bhqextras )

[epersonae]

five fic friday

five short canon-era:

there's always an escape (T, 500) by @medievill - gutted me: spare and sharp and precise. (cw: canon-typical 1x9 - 2x3 suicidal ideation Ed)

living in a powderkeg and giving off sparks (M, 6617) - Lucius tries to get people to kill Ed for him, post 2x3; the dialogue and narration in this are SO GOOD. lots about the futility of revenge and the path to healing. the conversation between Ed and Lucius is [stares into space]. (also Archie is hilarious)

Lovers of Beauty (T, 3825) by @saltpepperbeard - wedding fic where Ed wears a dress and has a lot of feelings about it. There's a specific emotional beat that just had me yelling YES THIS, calling back to both 1x9 and 2x6, and then the resolution is lovely.

Dear Gentleman Innkeeper (T, 3879) by @the-widow-olivia - this is just funny as hell, the voices are amazing, the conceit is absolutely delightful (innkeepers era, Stede publishes an advice column)

the inn is a metaphor (T, 999) by @wistfulcynic - I loved this on tumblr, and so I'm gonna recommend it again now that's it's on AO3.

plus a bonus AU that I recommend with caveats:

The Reno Cure (E, 85k) - I hesitate on this one, because on the one hand: it's so well-written, and with such care and research into the setting, and on the other hand: the Izzy characterization is so far off as to be a Whole Other Guy, and there is a specific plot beat with Stede that did a hard slam into the "he would not fucking say that" button. I immediately recommended it to one person, and determined that someone else would probably not enjoy it at all, so ymmv. In short: I can say that this really was an very enjoyable novel that happened to have some OFMD elements in it.

[un-pearable]

i am. very much screaming internally about everything plot related still but in the interests of not spoiling my beloved friends i would like to convince to watch. i will refrain. but in other news i’m laughing so hard about this i can’t not post about it. thank you lmk team for my soul and for the terrible terrible jokes i love