#hmm I feel like I should do the artist thing and put the art on its own blog but also I'll probably forget to actually post things

[edge-oftheworld]

truly nothing is as wild as youtube comments on top of the people infodumping their entire life stories you'll have people saying stuff like 'they're an excellent band! they all have severe depression unfortunately :(' like okay 5sos psychiatrist. does this inference of yours in any way impact their abilities as artists? please please just be normal about all things mental health

[apprendere]

doggo doodles

[withleeknow]

wishful thinking. (05)

chapter five: say what you mean

summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.

pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut; mentions of sex, kissing, we’re starting to dip our toes into angsty territory !!, less edited than i’d like but what’s new lol word count: 2.8k

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation / series masterpost / taglist

Get me a drink, I get drunk off one sip, just so I can adore you I want the entire street out of town just so I can be alone with you Now go when you’re ready My head’s getting heavy, pressed against your arm Just to adore you, I adore you

Adore - Dean Lewis

Whenever Minho asks if you two could hang out together at your place, it usually means that you will end up in your bed.

Tonight you suppose is no different.

Even though you often cap off the night having engaged in activities that could make the Victorian lady in Hyunjin faint, it’s not all that you do. Both you and Minho never let yourselves forget that you’re friends first and foremost. Sex is the added benefit that should never take anything away from your friendship. He is still one of the people you’re most comfortable with, one of the few people whose company you enjoy.

You’re sprawled out on the couch in your small living room when Minho returns from the kitchen with a plate of freshly peeled tangerines, the same ones that he brought over earlier. You push yourself to half-sit up so he could squeeze himself between you and the armrest, before you go back to laying your head on his lap as you two resume watching a bad movie that you put on.

“I hate this so much,” you comment, your eyes glued to the TV screen.

“You picked the movie,” Minho says. “It’s not that bad. The plot is kind of decent.”

“I’m not talking about that. Jeez, if they wanted to make a movie where the main character is a graphic designer, you’d think that they would at least consult someone who knows literally anything about visual art. Look at that horrendous typography job, the text isn’t even aligned with the edges and corners. This is hurting my soul.”

Your cushions (Minho’s thighs) shake lightly as he laughs at your dramatic outburst over something as trivial as a fictional character’s poor standards of digital art. But you really aren’t kidding; the way the woman on screen is butchering the text alignment is quite literally making that very particular part of your brain want to shut down for the next five to seven business days.

“They should’ve consulted you first, is that right?” Minho asks.

“They really should have. I could’ve done wonders for them,” you say matter-of-factly. “I almost majored in graphic design, y’know.”

You have a habit of biting your tongue around others because you know that people don’t really care about the same things you do. Whenever the opportunity arises for you to share tidbits about your interests, excitement would tumble out of you only to be quashed soon after when no one wants to listen to your silly little rambles. It’s disheartening, you’re used to it.

But you never feel that way around Minho. He always lets you babble on about anything and everything, even if he might not know what the hell you’re talking about. He indulges you. He never makes you feel neglected or ignored.

“Hmm, my little genius artist.” He taps your cheek once, and when you turn your head to glance at him, he tells you to open up before he slips a slice of tangerine past your lips. “You’re right. Even I can tell that it’s horrendous.”

You hum appreciatively when the sweetness of the juicy fruit floods your tastebuds. Minho’s hand trails down your arm to rest on your stomach, just below your ribs where he fiddles with the worn fabric of your sleep shirt. If he moves his hand up, he would be grazing your bare chest underneath your shirt. You didn’t bother with a bra because, well, comfort above all else, especially within the four walls of your own home. Besides, it’s nothing that Minho hasn’t seen anyway.

He keeps on feeding you tangerines in between your complaints about bad design standards until the movie ends and the plate is cleared. The only sound in the room is the soft music on the TV as the credits start to roll.

You turn to lie on your back, staring up at Minho. “That was deeply disturbing.”

“You chose it,” he reminds you. “You went in knowing what the premise was.”

“Yeah, I have no one to blame but me. I had too much faith in humanity.”

“And you call me weird.”

“You are weird,” you say. “But I like weird.”

Minho looks down at you and for a moment, he says nothing. His fingers trace something on your stomach. A heart or an odd circle, you don’t know; you’re always bad at deciphering those. His eyelids fall a bit, softening the usual sharpness of his gaze.

Then he’s pulling you by your shoulders, guiding you to sit up and before you know it, you’re situated on his lap with one of his hands on your waist, the other on the back of your neck. Minho tugs you closer, meeting your lips in a kiss in which you waste no time returning.

He’s sweet, like the tangerines that you were sharing all evening. It tends to start like this - sort of randomly, whenever it feels right. He squeezes your side in a comforting gesture as his tongue slips into your mouth. There are times where it’s more urgent, where one of you is needy and desperately seeks the escape and release that can only be found in the other’s embrace. Other times, it’s slower, more gentle, where you can really focus on making each other feel fully satiated.

This, right now - you would pinpoint somewhere in the middle. There’s no fiery clothes-ripping urge, nor a need to lay the other person bare and knead every single knot of stress from their system. Today, there’s just languid wanting; an unhurried inclination to be close.

Him and his tangerine flavored kiss, you and your resolve built on shaky foundation.

You start rolling your hips over his, tugging on his shirt because you want to feel his skin against yours. Minho stops you though; he puts both hands on your hips and pulls his lips away from yours. You blink, dazed, confused.

“I...” he starts, trying to even out his breathing as he finds the words. “I don’t want to have sex tonight.”

Embarrassment instantly washes over you. The rejection is a little humiliating; it’s the first time you’ve ever felt like this around him. Your cheeks catch fire from the mortification, and you’re very aware that you’re still sitting in his lap, right over his crotch.

Wanting to climb off of him and just fucking bury yourself in a ditch, you start stuttering like an absolute fool, “Oh... Y-yeah, no, of course! Shit, shit, I’m sorry. Of course we don’t have t-”

Minho holds you in place, one of the hands on your hips goes to cup your cheek to make you look at him. It effectively shuts you right up.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have phrased it like that,” he says, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone in an earnest apology. “I just want to keep kissing you. Is that okay?”

You’re at a loss for words. He’s holding your face, your waist, so delicately. He looks drunk on your presence alone even though neither of you have had a single drop of alcohol tonight, so sincere in his simple request that you feel your heart swell tenfold.

You want it too. You’re more than okay with just kissing him.

You don’t answer him verbally. Instead, you just nod and move to kiss him again, your hands tangled in his soft hair. The sweetness of the tangerines grows more and more distant as you chase his lips, but you can taste his smile. It’s infinitely more saccharine, and it only grows sweeter when he holds you close and knocks the breath out of you.

When you pull away for air, you slump against him, hiding your face in the crook of his face, shy all of a sudden. He keeps you there but continues with his onslaught of kisses - on your hair, your cheek, your neck, anywhere his lips can reach. Like he simply can’t get enough of you.

“You really like kissing,” you comment, giggling quietly as you do. “Even when we… y’know, bone.”

“Bone? You’re so romantic, babe.” You feel the rumbles of Minho’s chest as he lets out a hearty laugh, the sound of which fills the space of your modest home, embeds itself in every nook and crevice, in between every minuscule crack in your walls until the whole place feels warmer, brighter somehow. “Are you complaining?”

“No... just pointing it out.”

“Well, I like kissing you,” he says. “You’re not a terrible kisser, I guess.”

You sit up straighter and catch the teasing grin on his face before you roll your eyes. “Gee, thanks. You really know how to sweet talk a girl.”

“Says the girl who uses ‘bone’ to describe sex.”

“It’s a perfectly good euphemism for ‘sex’.”

“You might as well just say ‘boink’.”

“Literally shut up.”

“Sure.”

Then he’s pressing his mischievous smile against your mouth once more, and you can’t really wrap your mind around how it’s even possible that he keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. His sugary kisses send warmth tingling up your spine, make a fluttery sensation erupt in your stomach. You’re lightheaded, and not the kind that can be remedied by a sufficient fix of blood oxygen.

Even though you’re perfectly content with kissing, there’s a certain implication that comes with only kissing that you’re not sure what to do with. He’s literally inside of you on a weekly basis and yet, this feels much more intimate than anything you two have ever done.

Because friends don’t kiss each other the way he’s kissing you right now. Friends don’t kiss each other the way you’re kissing him back.

A chime from your phone breaks you two apart, the intrusion forcing a mildly frustrated grunt from Minho. You find the mobile device hidden between the cushions of your couch, and after you quickly scan the notification on the screen, you tell him, “It’s Hyunjin.”

“What did I say? It’s always him at the scene of the crime,” Minho mutters, speaking in the same tone that one would when their sibling interrupts a round of their favorite video game. “What does he want?”

“Just wants me to send him a photo of the sample portfolio from our class.”

“Ignore him. He can wait.”

“He’ll call me if I don’t reply.”

“He’s so annoying,” Minho grumbles but loosens his hold on you nonetheless. “Hurry back.”

“It’ll only take a minute, you big baby,” you chuckle, pressing a swift peck to his lips before you get up from the couch and head toward your bedroom with your phone in hand, searching for the binder that Hyunjin is asking about.

Once you’ve snapped the picture and sent it to your friend, you return to the living room. When Minho hears your footsteps, he holds out an arm, silently beckoning you into his embrace again. And you do. You slide into the space next to him, slotting perfectly against his side.

Your fingers absentmindedly trace along his forearm until they reach his wrist. “This is pretty,” you say, touching the thin link bracelet that he always wears, the one with a small charm hanging off the center in the simple outline of a dove.

“You like it? I’ve had it for ages.”

“Mhmm, it suits you.”

A moment passes where you both sit in silence as you fiddle with the gold jewelry, and you can feel Minho’s eyes on your face the entire time. After a while, he pries your fingers off his skin, only to swiftly take off the trinket.

“No, Min. What are you doing?”

He doesn’t answer you. You attempt (in vain) to pull your wrist back but Minho is stronger. He holds it in place as he clasps the chain around your wrist.

“Minho, you are not giving me your bracelet.”

“Relax. It’s not like it was passed down from my great-great-grandfather. It’s just a random bracelet I bought when I was 18.”

“Why would you even give me your bracelet?”

He shrugs, as though he’s merely doing something as simple as letting you borrow you a pen. “It looks good on you.”

You look down to where his hand is still on your skin, his thumb gently sliding over your pulse point as he admires how the dainty gold reflects the dim lighting in your home.

And he’s right. It does look good, but he probably doesn’t mean it in the same way that you’re thinking of right now. You think it looks good because it’s something that belongs to him that’s now wrapped snugly around your wrist, like some sort of affirmation spoken in a language that only the two of you can understand.

Minho leans over and presses his warm lips to your forehead. It takes you by surprise, the way he does it as if it’s second nature to be this affectionate with you. It’s a tipping point, then suddenly your thoughts are running rampant.

The instruction has always been plain and simple: No strings attached.

But...

The chaste kisses with no expectation of sex, being protective when you’re in the presence of other guys, even giving you his bracelet to wear just because you said it was pretty.

Why do all of these sound an awful lot like strings?

You hesitate, then you ask, “What are we doing?”

“Hmm? You wanna watch another movie?”

“No, that’s not... What are we doing?” You don’t even know what word to put more emphasis on.

Minho looks at you and loosens his fingers. What he can’t understand through your words, you think he sees it in your eyes. “Say what you mean.”

“Are we friends?”

“Of course we are.”

“Are we still friends?”

“Do you not want to be friends anymore?” He cracks a smile, but you can tell that he’s just doing it to lighten you up. “You have terrible timing. I literally just gave you a bracelet.”

“Friends don’t do that.”

“Friends don’t give each other bracelets?”

“Friends don’t kiss like that.”

Minho seems a bit taken aback, though he regains his composure in mere seconds, his voice calm as he tells you, “Friends don’t have sex either.”

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t know. What are you saying? You brought it up.”

You open your mouth, only to subsequently close it because your thoughts were never really that coherent in the first place. You look away from him to glance down at your wrist.

“You’re being confusing,” Minho says quietly, honestly.

“I just… I don’t want anything to change.”

“Did anything change for you?” he asks.

“No,” is what you tell him after a long minute, when what you really mean to say is I don’t know. You can see it as it happens, some stars fading from his eyes, some light growing more faint in his irises. Though the despondence on his face disappears so fast that you’re not sure if it was even there at all, or if it was only a figment of your imagination.

Then you throw the question back at him. “Did anything change? For you?”

Minho’s answer is the same as yours - a clear No - and yet, it makes you feel like you’ve been punctured by something sharp. You don’t know why your heart drops upon hearing him say the exact same thing that you did, but you try not to let it show on your face. Your poker face isn’t anywhere as good as his, but you hope that it’s enough.

You give him a tight-lipped smile and nod a little.

“Then nothing’s changed.” He strokes your hair, emphasizing his point with a soft smile as he reassures you, “And nothing has to change. It’s a bracelet, don’t overthink it. We’re good.”

Sometimes, the decisions you make are bad because you can foresee the outcomes, or at least, you have an idea of the consequences will be later on and yet, you still choose to go through with it anyway.

Just like how you chose to watch a movie you knew would drive you crazy with its trivial details, you choose to accept the feeling of Minho’s bracelet around your wrist. You choose to believe him when he said nothing has changed, and that nothing has to change. You choose to sweep under the rug the thoughts that you’ve been having about him lately. You choose to overlook the reason why you’ve been having those thoughts instead of facing it head-on because you’re terrified of what you’d find if you dig deeper.

You choose to let the conversation end here though it still lingers in your mind, and you choose to let him kiss you goodnight when he leaves because tonight has already been a series of bad decision after bad decision anyway.

And when you fall asleep, it’s the soothing coolness of the golden dove against your skin that lulls you to slumber, like he’s here right beside you to hold you through the night.

permanent taglist: @onlyycb97wife @starsandrqindrops @borahae-reads @abbiestearsricochet @cutiespaghetti @anthropologykpopmultistan @moonlinos @mjnhoz @caitlyn98s @piercidh34rts  @stayceebs97 @linocz @yaorzu-blog @biribarabiribbaem @kayleefriedchicken @extrhotjne @caitxx1 @palindrome969 @todorokiskitten @azuna-sz @meanergreener @nxzz-skz @jazziwritesthings @poutypoutybin @bookyeom (italicized = can’t tag)

series taglist: @eyesforlino @armystay89 @nuronhe @becomingmina @astro-doll-the-star @hyuneyeon @jisunglyricist @yoontaethings @thisisnotjacinta @cupidcure @wyzminho

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 18.02.2024]

[starythewriter]

A shift dinner date w Vinnie hacker imagine

I stepped into this amazing restaurant it reminded me a lot of the Cheesecake Factory except everything was plain black, and had dark tainted glass with lights everywhere it was so beyond beautiful.

I walked in feeling the air conditioning hit my face it wasn't too strong nor too weak just perfect. I saw Vinnie, I drove to the restaurant to meet Vinnie... I turned up some music and put on my lipstick then I got a call from Vinnie "I got a gift for you be ready"

"really? oh my gosh I can't wait"

"yes of course! that's all... but also be sitting at table 8"

"alright perfect thank you"

I stepped into this amazing restaurant it reminded me a lot of the Cheesecake Factory except everything was plain black, and had dark tainted glass with lights everywhere it was so beyond beautiful.

I walked in feeling the air conditioning hit my face it wasn't too strong nor too weak just perfect. I saw Vinnie, he looked so good wearing a light blue shirt tucked neatly into his jeans and he even wore some glasses that seemed to accentuate his already handsome features even more.

He looked up as I approached him I said "Hey" smiling shyly at the older man who smiled back at me, then looking over towards the bar I see a group of guys laughing... I tune out and say "let's order what do you want?" he looks around like he doesn't know which one I mean he says "can we get the same food we always eat?" which reminds me that I'm pretty much always there for him so I say "Yeah sure" then order our food while he orders mine he pays, and I say thanks before we head to our usual booth.

We talk about work a lot... he works at the school where I teach English and he teaches science... he is an artist too... he wants to make things when he grows up and wants to open a gallery somewhere where people can buy art. We talk about how we feel and what we are going through right now and what we think about the future... I noticed he was wearing a strong perfume I loved the smell... I smiled at him. He smiles back but suddenly starts blushing... well, I guess the conversation was going too long."Oh yeah uh sorry... I don't know why I started talking about my feelings... I have really bad insomnia... I try not to let my mind run away with me but sometimes..." he sighs "anyway, how are you doing babe?"

I smile sweetly at him "I'm good" he puts down his fork and leans across the table towards me "you are very sexy tonight..." he says softly... 'hmm he does look very handsome... ' I muse. I lean toward him slowly until I could kiss him. but out of no where the waiter seemed to intervene delivering the check.

I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not but regardless it definitely broke a moment of passion... and made a couple of strangers turn their attention towards us.

We both start getting angry as he stands up. I am a little surprised because usually he doesn't lose control like that unless he's mad at me or something... but he calmed down after "well... here" I say giving him a small kiss.

"thank you"

"here wanna go to a local fun center?" I suggest trying to break the awkwardness

"yeah ok."

We headed off together... we sat down at an arcade and played some games and talked about random stuff. He kept glancing my way and I was starting to blush. I couldn't figure out why... maybe I was embarrassed at myself for being so forward... then randomly we were playing a racing game and I knocked his car off the screen I celebrated we both laughed having a great time . Then I asked where he lived. He told me his place was a few blocks away. We got out and headed off together. When we finally stopped walking he held my hand and looked into my eyes "we should go somewhere else sometime... " he said gently kissing me... I closed my eyes and kissed him back. As he pulled away he said "your so sexy"

"thank you" I said kissing his ear. I pulled back... how about a second date?

"really?"

"yeah of course Vinnie" I smiled at him

He smiled and took my hand leading me to his car. I felt like I could fly I was so excited. It didn't matter that he wasn't in love with me, he thought I was hot. He liked me. He wanted to hang out with me. And honestly I did like hanging out with him. "here I know you love to read so here's a book with 500 quotes"

"thank you Vinnie that's so thoughtful"

He blushed a bit saying "it's nothing... I'm happy to help"

I felt his gaze of lust...

"let me drive you to my house. I'll invite you for a sleepover"

"hmmm I don't know"

"please?"

"alright fine, but only because you seem so desperate to spend time with me"

His eyes lit up and he grinned at me. "oh god I am so whipped! come on!" he yelled as he started the car

the end!

[cleverthylacine]

Okay. Wow. (also feel free to circulate this post to people even if they don't like me)

I didn't want to make a post like this but things have gone too far. I am still not mentioning names. If you know you know, if you don't know, ignore this post and be happy that you don't know.

Yesterday I went on a blitz of blocking people I was told had been sharing my private DMs and talking shit about me behind my back with an artist who is freaked out that I told them I wouldn't take down a reblog, and then explained that they are popular with RavWave shippers, and that I didn't know who they were until other shippers sent me their stuff, because their art does look shippy to us.

It seems that a lot of the people who are really mad about this (and you're welcome to share this one post of mine with those people, though I do not appreciate that their friends have been stalking my blog in general) think that I was trying to ARGUE with that person.

Much as their motivation in drawing the art was not to depict my OTP, my motivation in telling them that they accidentally did was not to argue with them about how they should view the relationship. It was information about why people get what is apparently the wrong idea about their art.

If I were writing or drawing something that was being misinterpreted all over creation, I would want to know why.

Then I would be armed with the knowledge to decide whether or not I wanted to do things differently in the future.

"I don't care what those people think" is a valid decision. So is "hmm, maybe she has a point." Whichever decision I made, I'd want to make it as an informed decision.

I feel a little sorry about this giant misunderstanding, but I'm absolutely disinclined to apologise because:

Their first message to me was insulting. Many people believe that it was a "polite request". But polite words can be used in a thoroughly rude and nasty way. There is no nice way to tell someone that you think they're so nasty you don't want your public posts appearing on their blog.

Saying no to requests is a thing that people are allowed to do.

Their second message to me, which evaded my block because it was sent to another account, was blatantly offensive and went into the quality of my family and relationships. I didn't respond to that because I'd have gone off.

They have their friends stalking my blog and have admitted to doing so, and have responded to venting on my part by vagueblogging in my own blogs by telling everyone that they're the person I am annoyed with and here are the receipts. Seriously, wtf?

I only know this because I'm trying to block all the assholes who are reposting my personal conversations with them, a thing i only know because a friend of mine told me so after receiving a demand they unfriend me.

This person and their friends are sending anon asks to my friends, or in one case, publicly demanding in an RP community, that people who want to interact with them unfollow me, because they will not interact with anyone who interacts with me. Go the fuck back to high school, Regina.

Don't put icing and sprinkles on a pile of shit and tell yourself you gave someone a chocolate cake. This person has never been "nice" to me.

Under the cut: why IDW Ravage would never allow herself to be handled like a pet cat, and why RavWave shippers feel the same way about the Earthspark deleted scenes, even though we know that's probably not what the showrunners meant us to think.

I have come to the conclusion that's it's just another case of antis thinking that if you can see two people in a non-platonic relationship that they think of as family, you're just nasty. Especially if the feline shaped character is being handled like a pet cat.

But the person who said "I look disrespectfully on anyone who ships this, that's just a goof and his cat" has missed the entire point of these characters' relationship. Soundwave would never treat or handle Ravage like she was a pet cat.

Anyone else who says RavWave shippers are nasty because "it's NoRMaL to handle your cat that way" is fundamentally not getting who Ravage is and how she feels about being touched.

Ravage is a sapient adult mech with a full range of sapient adult feelings, and touching her like she's an animal is a microaggression or a macroaggression, depending upon where and how you touch her. The oppression of beastformers is a big fucking thing in IDW 2005. Other beastformers also complain about constantly having to deal with unwanted and disrespectful touching. (Fortress Maximus is a known offender.)

IDW Ravage is sleeping in Megatron's bed throughout MTMTE (when she's under it, she's guarding him). She only allows him to touch her neck in front of others...because behaving like a pet cat increases the chances that people will treat her like one.

(She almost cut Nautica several times. That's another character I ship her with, because what would be funnier than her realising that this actually is a whole ass person and if she can't stop touching her, she might actually be attracted to her?)

(Note: Canonically, Ravage in IDW uses he/him, and I do know that. However, about half the fandom writes Ravage as female. I'm in that half.)

BTW, I feel exactly the same way about the Earthspark deleted scenes. Every RavWave shipper on the planet does. We've talked about it. We realise that the artists and showrunners probably intended it to be innocent on the grounds that she is a cat. But we are also people who like to write her as an adult Decepticon officer with agency and self-respect who wouldn't behave like that in front of other people unless they knew he has privileges they don't.

I am aware that half the fandom draws Ravage art that's basically cat memes. (I hate that so much. But as a proshipper, I recognise people have the right to depict characters any way they want. That doesn't mean I haven't had to vent to people like @bitegore and @miner16 to keep myself from saying something.)

Also, I strongly suggest that people who get this worked up about misinterpretations of their art or writing do not become professional creators. As a member of fandom since the 1970s, I'm kind of super extremely aware that most of what fandom does is counter to what the creator intended, and frequently that's the point.

I'm also kind of super extremely aware that if you don't have loads of people reinterpreting and remixing your work and your characters, that actually means nobody cares about your work enough to have blorbo feels about your characters.

(The side poll, which came from another blog and mentioned no names, was an irritated attempt to find out whether people really do think it's normal to cuddle your mom that way, because the second message insinuated that my mother and I must have a terrible relationship because we don't touch each other like that. I kinda wanted to know what people who were not predisposed to take my side and did not know what was going on would think of that idea, because I really do not think most people touch their mothers like that; their mothers aren't nonsapient animals and would thus consider it weird and inappropriate.)

[multiplicity-positivity]

I only have 2 headmates and idk how to get along with them :(

For context they're both OCS (one old, I made her in 3rd grade and one is new- made very recently) and they unfortunately know that. The issue is that all of my ocs have bad things happen often and I imagine they hate me for that

They also hate each other's guts for other reasons but it just sucks not having any peace

Hmm… we know it can be really really hard to get along with other headmates sometimes! And your headmates being OCs probably really complicates the situation, huh?

We have a little note that we keep with us when we’re feeling overwhelmed and stuck in memory time:

(ID in alt text!)

This really helps us when we’re starting to feel guilty for not handling our childhood trauma better, or feeling like we’re never going to be good enough because of what happened to us, or trying to bear the weight of our history on our shoulders all the time! Our therapist told us the mantra and we wrote it down to keep handy :3

This helps us deal with painful childhood memories… But! we really feel like this sort of message may help people with exotrauma or painful exomemories too! >w<

As writers and creators, it’s okay to put your characters in difficult or traumatizing situations!! It comes with the territory of being an artist!! And you shouldn’t have to put a stop to that or feel guilty about it just because your OCs developed into headmates!!

But for your headmates…. It makes sense that this stuff will bother them! It makes sense that they might have to process exotrauma because of some decisions made by their creator (you!). It’s possible to allow them space, to support them on this process, and to recognize that you may have made choices regarding their histories… but that doesn’t make you at fault even one bit!!

Exotrauma can be really tricky and also icky to navigate! We have alters with exotrauma in our system and it’s been a wild ride helping them process it while other members process real-life trauma! But being willing to help and listen, not judging your headmates for feeling certain ways about their circumstances, and understanding where their apprehension comes from could all really help you be there for them when they need it!!! Does that make sense to you? Idk if I’m using “apprehension” right lol but I mean like their wariness or cautiousness or unwillingness to put the past behind them and get to know you!

Speaking of getting to know you… maybe y’all should try conducting interviews to get to know each other!!

I made this headmate interview form a while back! it’s a fun, laidback way for headmates and alters to start learning about each other as they are now, not as they once were!!

Could y’all perhaps spend some time conducting lighthearted, low-stakes interviews to figure out what each other likes and what they are like? And once you have a good idea, you can start going out of your way to do nice things for each other!!!

If we’ve learned anything in therapy, it’s that kindness, apologies, forgiveness, and compassion can be amazing tools for coming together as a team!! Our frequent fronter group is able to work together the way we do because of this!! Like this time last year, I never would’ve dreamed I’d ever cofront with Kandi to work together on art or posts and stuff… but here we are!! And it’s all thanks to learning more about each other and daring to show each other compassion even when we didn’t want to!! :333

So in the end, we don’t know for sure what will help y’all reach a mutual understanding and stop hating each other…. But we can give you advice for what’s helped us in the past! We still have alters who hate each other (ahhhhh) but at least we’re making progress!!! And that’s what counts!! We Can Move Forward!! And we believe y’all can too!! >w<

💚 Ralsei and 🦇 Alucard (or Kandi - bats got two names and likes them used interchangeably!)

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: March 28, 2023

Lyrics:

It isn't working

I'm a tidal wave of question marks

And you're just surfing

Leaning into me like it's an art

It's so crazy

Lately

You just understand my feelings

Make me

See I'm capable and fine

And feeling beautified tonight

I'm ready to dive

Maybe it's the loving in your eyes (I'm here, see through)

Maybe it's the magic in the wine (I'm feeling loose)

Maybe it's the fact that every time I fall, I lose it all

But you got me from my head to my feet

And I'm ready to dive

'Cause the water's warm

And nothing wrong, it's alright, yeah

I'm coming out and diving in tonight

I feel like It's crazy

Lately, you just understand my feelings

Make me see I'm capable and fine

And feeling beautified tonight

I'm ready to dive

Maybe it's the loving in your eyes (I'm here, see through)

Maybe it's the magic in the wine (I'm feeling loose)

Maybe it's the fact that every time I fall, I lose it all

But you got me from my head to my feet

And I'm ready to dive

Diving into you, diving into me (hmm)

Wanna swim good and I wanna swim deep, I'm

Diving into you, diving into me (hmm)

Wanna swim good and I wanna swim deep, I'm

Diving into you, diving into me

Wanna swim good and I wanna swim deep, I'm

Diving into you, diving into me

Maybe it's the loving in your eyes (I'm here, see through)

Maybe it's the magic in the wine (I'm feeling loose)

Maybe it's the fact that every time I fall, I lose it all

But you got me from my head to my feet

And I'm ready to dive (right into you)

I'm ready to dive (right into you)

Songwriter:

Maybe it's the fact that every time I fall, I lose it all

But you got me from my head to my feet

And I'm ready to dive

Bastian Langebaek / Max Wolfgang / Olivia Lauryn Dean

SongFacts:

The incredible Olivia Dean has just released her single 'Dive' following the announcement of her debut album 'Messy'. The British star has just announced the release date of 'Messy', which is set to arrive on June 30th this year.

Olivia Dean has already released two singles this year, with “Dive” being the third release before the debut of “Messy.” Olivia Dean has become successful with songs like “Be my own Boyfriend” and “Echo”.

An artist with a beautiful, unique, soulful voice who focuses on storytelling in her lyrics. Dean’s latest release “Dive” is no different. A song with incredible harmonies and an amazing beat. Olivia Dean is an artist that once you discover her, you won't want to stop listening to her.

After working on her upcoming debut album, Messy, Olivia Dean says, “It's funny because I think it's the most polished sound I have, but also the most carefree I've ever had in actually making music…some ." It's quite vulnerable, but it's just made out of pure fun and joy and lightheartedness, and I think I did a good job calling it "Chaotic" because if anyone says it's floating around everywhere, I will say: “Yes!”

Dean has been on tour for the past few months, a tour that has sold out across the country and in Europe. She has also supported the incredible Loyle Career and Korey Radical on their recent tours. Dean continues to tour with dates throughout Europe and the UK.

When Dean created “Chaotic,” he said, “There are no rules!” She laughs. “I tried to just put people's voices out of my head about what I should do or what would be cool or what would be most successful for me and did things that I wanted to hear.”

Olivia Dean is an artist who continues to release hit after hit, so anticipation for her debut album is high and the wait can't end soon enough. Dean has already released three eps. Olivia Dean loves her fans and even performed on the side of a yellow truck at the height of the pandemic before returning for her first gig at the Camden Jazz Cafe. The venue sold out and their incredible performance at Camden's Jazz Cafe received over seven million views on TikTok.

It's clear that Olivia Dean is a talent that's reflected in her latest release, "Dive," out now and worth every minute of your time.

Words by Rose Stiff

[twilightmalachite]

Hermitage - Sunday 2

Author: Nishioka Maiko (with Akira)

Characters: Mika, Shu

Translator: Mika Enstars

"The flower language for the acanthe is “art” and “mastership”. It’s a title suitable for an artist enamored by eternity, is it not?"

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: Starmony Dorms Common Room

Mika: Nnah~…

Shu: Don't sigh like that!

Just what was that? That “nna nna” there. Don’t make any stupid noises like that.

Mika: It’s just, Oshi-sa~n… I had a buncha plans fer when you finally got back, y’know~?

So it was just disappointin’ to see ya immediately go into work-mode.

Shu: Plans…? Like what?

Mika: Ermm, like how there’s a limited-time lunch currently at the cafe. It looks real delicious, so I was wanting t’go eat it with ya, Oshi-san.

After that, there’s this handicrafts store I think you’d like that opened on Saison Avenue~! And so I wanted to take ya there!

And after that—

Shu: Sigh, that’s enough… Have you forgotten about the reason I’ve returned to Japan in the first place?

Mika: I remember~… It was for our new song, right?

It’s just been a while since ya returned to Japan, so I thought it’d be okay to go sightseein’ a bit…

Shu: I’d rather not waste my precious time on things like that.

Instead of spending your time on such things, you should spend your time on improving the quality of our new song as much as possible.

Mika: I know that~… But isn’t jus’ a little bit okay?

Shu: Goodness gracious…

(Come to think of it… I haven’t given Kagehira his souvenir yet.)

(I had thought to give it to him after our meeting. However, it might be better to give it to him now to help ease his mood.)

(There’s not much else I can do, so I suppose I should fetch it from my room.)

Kagehira, wait here for a moment. I am going to pick up some of my luggage from my room.

Mika: Huh? Okay, sure thing?

Shu: Ahem. Kagehira, this is for you.

Mika: Wha?! Fer me?! What is it?

Shu: It’s a souvenir. I just so happened to come upon something nice, so I figured might as well.

Mika: Uwah! ♪ I’m so happy~! Thank ya kindly, Oshi-san! Can I open it?

Shu: Go ahead. Have this ease your mood so you can devote yourself to the new song.

Mika: Okay, gotcha. Lesse—

Ehh?! A bisque doll?! Is this really alright fer me to have?!

Shu: Yes, I just so happened to come upon it.

I believe you miss being able to talk to Mademoiselle, yes?

It's far from Mademoiselle, but it's far less lonely than having nothing.

Mika: Thank ya sooo much! I'll cherish it deeply~♪

Shu: So, do you feel better now? We've got to go back to work.

You are supposed to be in charge of the new song’s overview, while I am in charge of direction…

What is your progress? Do you have an overview prepared, Kagehira?

Mika: About that… I’ve gotten started on it. But I’ve been kinda strugglin’ with it…

Shu: Hm… What exactly are you having trouble with?

Mika: Umm… I’m thinkin’ about havin’ the MV tell a story…

But I haven’t been able to visualize anythin’ yet…

Nn~, how do I put it… Somethin’ like a beauty-obsessed artist who preserves their loved one as a work of art for eternity…?

The image I’m goin’ for bein’ solitude and the pursuit of eternal beauty.

Shu: I see. That’s an unexpectedly dark imagining. I had thought you would come up with something brighter.

Mika: Hmm~, maybe it’s no good… But y’know, sad themes are often prevalent in fairytales ,right? I was tryin’ to dp a gothic spin on somethin’ like a fairytale.

Shu: And there’s nothing “no good” about that. Eternity and solitude…

Well, every artist, to a greater or lesser extent, all possesses the inquisitive mind for beauty. And it fits Valkyrie’s image as well.

Mika: I’m relieved, then! The image is still too vague, though, I’m not sure how to proceed from here.

Shu: I see… I understand the situation now.

Well, it’s not bad for a first attempt. Let’s expand that image a big more, shall we?

Shu: Hmm… Well, that’s about it, isn’t it?

Mika: Yer amazin’ as always, Oshi-san…! I can’t believe we were able to settle so much in the span of just an hour. I can see the image so clearly now!

Shu: I had been doing absolutely everything by myself up until this. There’s a gap of experience here.

For the title—Yes… How about we call it “Acanthe”?

Mika: Akan… tou?[1] That’s a strange word. It reminds me of the Kansai dialect.

Shu: Kagehira… You need to broaden your knowledge further.

It’s a-kon-t. Acanthe. It is the name of a flower named acanthus in English.

Mika: Hmm? But why name the new song Acanthe? I feel like it’s completely unrelated, ain’t it?

Shu: The flower language for the acanthe is “art” and “mastership”. It’s a title suitable for an artist enamored by eternity, is it not?

Mika: I see, so it’s flower language! You really are amazin’, Oshi-san!

Shu: Rather than praising me, learn how to do this much, Kagehira.

Anyways, a lot has been decided on. Beginning tomorrow, let us immediately get started on practice, shall we?

[ ☆ ]

← prev | story directory | next →

In the Kansai dialect, “dame” (no good, impossible, etc…) is pronounced “akan”. Mika says it a lot…

[cainluvr69]

Let Me Tell You The Story Of A Rainbow - Chapter 2

Previous Chapter

Figaro: In the end, we still had to run around the whole manor.

The rain Oz had called had subsided. A few wizards were still in the hall, looking tired.

Akira: The rain couldn't put out the fires that had started inside, after all.

Shino: We wore ourselves out putting out fires instead of cleaning.

Mithra: Truly. Being put to work like that is simply the worst.

Snow: And just whose fault was all this, hmm?

Figaro: Now, now. If nothing else, everyone did all work together like you wanted.

Rutile: We sure did. It was pretty fun running around with everyone, too.

Akira: Ahaha… By the end, it sort of felt like a game where whoever found the fires first won.

White: Indeed. It did certainly cultivate harmony between the lot of us.

Snow: Everyone's spirit of cooperation shined bright! Even if it felt like our bones were getting broken by the effort!

Shylock: I believe there's room for debate on whether or not we've deepened our bonds with one another, but I do enjoy sharing a certain amount of fatigue with others. A pleasant kind of exhaustion can be exactly what the heart requires.

Faust: Are you sure? I never feel like I've had a break if I end it tired…

Shylock: I am sure you will sleep soundly tonight. Thinking of it that way, wasn't this a fine way to spend your day off?

Figaro: It's not very often we have a day like this where we don't have a single request to investigate things or put down magic beasts, huh?

Shino: I'd rather be on a mission. Something nice and distinguished and impressive, preferably.

Rutile: Rest is important too, Shino. If you're always keeping yourself on edge, your mind and body won't be able to do what you need them to when it matters most.

Murr: Ooh, like how they say it's always calm before a storm? Maybe right now is the moment before a biiiig incident rears its head!

Murr twirled in the air before peering into my eyes.

Murr: After all, there's no such thing as peaceful free time with wizards. Soon enough, something interesting's gonna come in with a BANG! And besides, I want something interesting to happen! What about you, Master Sage?

Akira: Umm, well… Something interesting would be fun, but if it's a whole incident I wouldn't want that, I guess?

Arthur: I've returned, Master Sage.

At that moment, the big door to the entrance swung open, letting in a clear, refreshing voice. The heels of Arthur's shoes clicked against the floor as he walked in, followed by the evening wind…and Cock Robin.

Akira: Welcome back, Arthur. Good work today.

Arthur: Thank you for the kind words. Huh…did something happen? Everyone else seems more tired than I do.

Akira: Umm, well, you could say that…

Figaro: Moving right on, I see you have Cock Robin with you, Arthur. Do you have something you need to talk to us about?

Cock Robin: Yes, I do. Rather, I have something I'd like to consult you about…

Shino: Nice, we've got a new mission already. That was a brief bit of peace.

Murr: Miss~ion! Miss~ion!

Shino and Murr immediately advanced on Cock Robin, and he hastily put up both of his hands to stop them.

Cock Robin: N-no! It's not about anything dangerous. Actually, an exhibition is going to be opening in one of Central Country's old castles…

Cock Robin presented us with an envelope, complete with wax seal. It seemed to be an invitation of some sort.

Cock Robin: The host is the head of a noble family, and a patron of the arts who has given many gifts to the Granvelle family. He's planning to hold a large-scale event gathering art and artists from around the continent, with a focus on Central Country. It's apparently an extension of his hobbies…

Arthur: It should be very impressive for a privately-sponsored event, and I think it's going to be quite a large exhibition of the arts. And to that end, I was asked to invite everyone here.

Akira: An invitation to an exhibition…? For everyone? You're sure?

Cock Robin: Yes! The Sage's wizards did save Central Country from the Umbra Volans and everything that came along with it, after all. It sounds like he's incredibly grateful to all of you for what you did… He wants to express his gratitude to the Sage's wizards for continuing on afterwards to quell the various incidents that sprang up around the world.

Faust: Sound convenient…for him. If he wanted to express his thanks, he should've just come here himself.

Arthur: Oh, don't say it like that. I'm sure the host is making the invitation as a show of respect.

Faust: I wonder. Humans are creatures beholden to the whims of society. Who knows how they'll feel when tomorrow comes. We wizards stick to our hearts, but it's a different story for those with shorter lives.

Arthur: …You're worrying about it. Thank you, Faust.

Faust: That's not worth thanking me over. I just stated the truth.

Arthur: The family inviting us is one that's had a long relationship with the Granvelle royal family, and one that offers understanding to wizards as well. Even from the invitation alone, I can feel the sincerity of their goodwill. That's how much you accomplished back then. It wouldn't be incorrect to say that you are Central Country's saviors. So please, allow me to thank you again.

And with that, Arthur put a hand to his chest and bowed deeply. His dignified back told a tale of his pure, honest heart, one lacking any trace of falsehood. The rift between wizards and humans may have seemed to have been filled in, but cracks still formed…and just when it seemed like everything would completely collapse, a bridge spanned the gap. And so it would repeat in perpetuity. For as many steps forwards as they took, they'd take as many steps back. They made each other happy and then they hurt each other, over and over, tracing the path that led us to "now". Arthur raised his head, and his eyes, the clear blue of the summer sky, pinned me to the spot. His simple, straightforward gaze held the power needed to take the next step beyond "now", to continue into the light.

Akira: …It's true that the incident with the Umbra Volans was impressive, but it's not the only thing you've done with merit.

I was startled by the words that had suddenly formed on my tongue. I had simply opened my mouth, as if invited to by the prince of Central Country's clear, unclouded eyes.

Akira: During the five countries' peace conference…you were the one who saved me when I was held prisoner in Granvelle Castle under all the thorns. It feels a little lonely when I think about how because everyone in the castle was asleep, they can't remember what all of you did, but… But I remember. I remember how all of you came together as one and bravely faced your foes.

Arthur: Master Sage…

Akira: So if there are other people who recognize what you've done, like the person who gave us this invitation, then I'm very, very happy.

My thoughts formed into words all on their own as I looked between the faces of everyone in front of me. There are people who think fondly of my precious friends who follow their hearts freely and openly, despite their various eccentricities. That reality made my heart feel like it was soaring.

Arthur: …Thank you. I'm very happy that everyone's efforts have been acknowledged as well. And at the same time, I am very proud. I hope that we can continue to communicate what wizards do without anyone misunderstanding us. …That's right. I have something I want to show you, Master Sage, and everyone else as well.

✦✧☾✧✦

Cock Robin: Here, this is it. The sponsor of the art exhibition has presented this as a gift.

What Cock Robin handed me was a single book. It was big enough that I needed both hands to hold it, and its cover wore a delicately lovely illustration.

Akira: Is this…a picture book?

Rutile: Oh! I adore picture books. Is it okay if I open it?

Arthur: Of course! That's what it's meant for.

A bright smile bloomed on Rutile's face as he took the book from Cock Robin.

Rutile: Mitile, Riquet, let's look through it together. Chloe, you come join too!

Chloe: Wahh, are you sure? This cover is so amazing! It's such a lovely design I don't want to look away from it.

Chloe's violet eyes sparkled as he spoke, passion for his craft shining brightly in his voice. Riquet's voice, colored by his curiosity, spoke up next as he traced over the cover.

Riquet: I wonder if I'd be able to read this book, too. I've been learning the spelling of more words recently, so maybe…

Mitile: I'm sure you can. If there are any words you don't know, I'll teach you what they are!

Riquet: Alright. There are some beautifully written letters on the cover…is this the name of the person who illustrated the book?

Rutile: Luca Carroll… What a lovely name.

Akira: Is that a famous author?

Shino: I don't know anything about books or authors. If you wanna know something like that, you should be asking Heath.

Heathcliff: No, I don't think I've heard of them… But considering how this book came into our hands, it should be fairly valuable.

Murr: Wow, I'm getting kinda excited!

Murr had been peeking at the book from the air above Rutile, and he twirled around delightedly.

Murr: Something fun's gonna happen. I guarantee it!

Arthur: Hehe. I shouldn't expect anything less from your intuition, Murr.

Arthur had been watching over our poking at the book, but now he looked up at Murr and gave him a million-dollar smile.

Arthur: This book has yet to go up for sale, but its author, Luca Carroll, seems to be a wizard.

Akira: A wizard…?

Arthur: Yes. The books she writes contain magic within their pages.

Arthur's eyes crinkled in a mischievous little grin. His words made everyone's attention turn to the book in Rutile's hands.

Mitile: Magic in the pages…! If a wizard is the one drawing the pictures, then magic just goes along with that, huh.

Riquet: I wonder what kind of magic it is. Let's hurry and open it!

Murr: Hurry, hurry!

Rutile: Okay!

Like lifting the lid of a treasure chest whose contents were unknown. Like a nameless flower unfurling its petals for the first time… Rutile opened the book. No sooner than he'd cracked it open did the aroma of a forest wreathe its way around us. A gentle breeze caressed my cheek.

Next Chapter

[ayyponine]

much like last year i got to enjoy some studio visits this weekend B)

(commentary in addition to description linked to each photo individually)

started out fresh w an art gallery (1, 2, 3) w some cool, colourful, eclectic and playful pieces on display. made a quick stop at work to say hi to a colleague i hadn't seen in a while before making my way to

my second location and biggest must-see (4, 5). Had a nice chat w artist who saw me look at one of her canvases frm the side so she was like lol do you paint or smth. bc i recognise how you're viewing these works when i go to a museum i do the same exact thing. I loved getting her perspective and a glimpse into her work process even if it's so different from mine idk it was cool! There was a whole collective of lil art studios scattered about the building surrounding a courtyard so i also entered a diff place and look. they were all about making zines. a group of ppl was chatting and making em. so i entered and was like hi ja sorry i kom ff binnenvallen maar ik weet niet goed wat er..... te bezine valt. which instantly made me cringe so hard i was ready to leave but the girl leading the workshop seemed thrilled to have me and explain the setup even if internally i was still like oh god why am i like this rip. i think i missed out on some more ateliers but mostly bc a lot of the artists were gathered in the lil courtyard having drinks and chatting and i was too intimidated to ask fr info or be spotted looking lost like some IDIOT so on i went rip.

quick stop at kids clothing shop which always cheers me up it's so whimsical and i want their stuff fr

Then onto 6, 7 where they had some cool stuff fr sure but the location was such a cramped and cluttered old row house and i had already spent my whole day walkign around in a T-shirt so especially trying to navigate around other visitors this was just not it babes. i moved on before having seen it all despite being interested bc i just needed to get tf out.

Managed my good deed fr the day when i spotted a confused looking older couple w a wheeled suitcase and personally guided them to their hotel

THEN on to this hidden lil atelier where i also went last year + attended a grand total of 2 life drawing sessions in the months after. again while arriving i was faced w the distinct feeling of having barged in on a private party of artists all at a table sharing a leisurely drink on a dreamy sunday afternoon rip BUT. the artist i talked to last time/followed the drawing sessions with was there, still knew me by name and made some small talk to help me feel welcome what an absolute gem. he even proposed i sit w them at the table & hang out fr a bit, when i said like hmm thank you but to just join up w a group of friends who all know each other it's a lil daunting he even said like but i know them, and i know you so its all ok :) i was internally like cool. i would takea fucking bullet fr you btw this is totally fine and i can not believe you are still willingly talking to me, the single most embarrassing person to ever exist in the world

anyway i did not accept the offer to stay fr a while but did chat w some of the other artists which was again super cool, to get more info on the diff works on display. they seem like a rlly sweet and charming collective of people and i wish i didn't feel so ashamed of myself so i couldve spent more time with them all but aint that the way. debating atm whether i should sign up fr another life drawing class or if the guy was only being nice bc he felt obligated and would actually prefer i keep my flustered and off putting vibes tf away from his personal and professional work space idk.

anyway. i had the wrong address so almost missed out on my last visit but in the final hour it was still possible i did manage to find the last location (8, 9) w an exhibit on themes of europe, durability and the meaning of home. there was a really cool piece on trees & difficulty in their sap stream where you could touch a chunk of wood and feel clicks resonate through a speaker mounted on the back, a glass installation on koekhappen re: jumping through hoops fr resource accessibility & probably my fave: the audio of welcoming messages. esp smth about the french speaker was so warm idk there seemed to be genuine relief in the confession of "je suis tellement heureuse de te voir, que tu m'as manqué" which also btw. god ive always loved that expression. ive missed you you have been missing FROM me or smth more in that direction of semantics i. insane

then biked on to my moms again to get some got damn. peace and quiet. and a cinnamon roll w vanilla ice cream <3

[artekai]

tag game (Horizon)

Thanks @nerd-artist for tagging me!! I am flattered :3

1. ride or die ship (your otp): GAIA/Lis ❤️ I felt so validated when Sylens said the "two moms" thing, you have no idea.

2. most annoying ship: I plead the fifth

3. second favourite ship: Erevad! I never considered them until I read a really good fic about them and I was sold lol.

4. favourite platonic relationship: Hmm 🤔 I really enjoy Aloy & Sylens :D I missed him a lot in HFW (given he wasn't in our Focus any longer). mlm-wlw hostility real. Also, Aloy & Gildun and Aloy & Morlund are both very sweet but I suppose they have similar vibes lol.

5. underrated ship: Any of the ones I mentioned lol, I feel like they don't get as much love as others, haha. Which is understandable because it makes sense to gravitate more towards the GAIA gang! But other than that 🤔 I think Aloy/Zo and Aloy/Alva are pretty cute and underrated, even if I don't exactly ship them myself c:

6. overrated ship: I plead the fifth

7. one thing i would change in canon: *side eyes HFW hard*

Just one thing, though? I'd have to concur with most of the people I've seen do this tag game so far and say it's Varl's death. I'm pissed about that.

8. something canon did right: Other people have also mentioned it before me, but I think Horizon's writing excels at the datapoints. Just slowly having to figure out the past, putting the pieces together, getting glimpses of the tragedies (and the little joys) that once happened in those places, filling in the blanks... The environmental storytelling is amazing 👌. The intrigue, the curiosity, the mystery. It really scratches the urge to explore abandoned places and imagine what it was life was like for the people who once lived in them, so close yet so far away. HZD really did it well with the Zero Dawn facilities and I think HFW captured that magic again with Thebes. I crave more of that.

9. a thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART: I'm not sure I can say anything I make is "for the fandom" since I only make OC stuff 😭 Believe me, I want to be more integrated in the fandom, but not as much as I want to focus on the blorbos from my brain 😔

I guess I can mention To Err is Human, my vampire AU fic, since, if all goes according to plan, that should be relatively fairly split between my OCs and canon characters. Sorry that it's taken me so long to update tho :( As for art, please look at my man :) And here he is again with my favorite Aloy I've drawn lol. I also still really like this one! Also this. And this. And this. And

I've realized I could go on all day actually so I'll stop myself now lol.

10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing): Sylens. I love him, crimes and all.

11. the character I relate to the most and why: Beta. Something something about characters who have the same neuroses as you but in their world their neuroses are justified (sigh). And Gildun! His quest in Burning Shores really grabbed me by the throat, oof. In some ways I also relate to Aloy but not as much, I think.

12. character(-s) i hate the most and why: Well, I could just name the usuals, Ted Faro, the Ceo, Lansra, etc. But they're the characters we're meant to hate, so, ironically, it doesn't feel right to say I hate them, you know? I appreciate a well-crafted villain, and I definitely appreciate their role in the narrative. So, do I really hate them? Yes but actually no.

It's like that one post that goes "I don't care if a villain is redeemable or not but by god please make them interesting." I would be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bit insane about the likes of Faro and the Ceo lol, so I'd say they did their job. I actually enjoy them being in the narrative.

As for the Zeniths... I used to just hate them straight up, not just for what we're meant to hate them, but for what they did to the narrative. I then started my quick descent into madness until I came to love to hate them lol. But I still think they deserve this spot more than anyone else given that they still make me see red half of the time.

13. something i've learned from the fandom: uhhhhh I'm not sure? Interesting to see the differences between the Persona fandom and the Horizon fandom I guess. In a lot of ways they have the same issues all fandoms have but idk, it's different. I'll leave it at that.

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: I don't really read as much fic as I would like to because of readers' block... But when I do, I feel like I tend to look for Beta-centric stuff. And Nemesis stuff hehe but there's very little of that. I feel like, at least in this fandom, I tend to gravitate more towards genfic instead of ship-heavy stuff. Those aren't three tags but still three things so fair enough.

15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: I have a few playlists but I'm not sure any songs in particular jump out to me as much as Sad Machine by Porter Robinson, which has been my quintessential Horizon song from the moment I finished HZD. It still gives me the same chills that going through ELEUTHIA-9 gave me... God, I really wish I could go back to when I was first playing it and experience that feeling again. I might actually cry listening to it now.

Tagging: @banukaihelpme, @cicadaknight, @thatpunnyperson, @snorkeldays and @hartlesshart, but absolutely no pressure to do it! I guess this is more of a [insert your fandom here] thing, so, for any other mutuals who see this, if you wanna do it for your fandom, please tag me as your tagger, I would love to see it 🙏

[agapi-kalyptei]

Color grading micro-tutorial 2

What I love about extracting stills from video footage is that you have a lot more leeway to make mistakes (at the expense of your hard drive space), and a lot more potential for happy accidents.

I'll have plenty of cloud footage to showcase in later tutorials, so let's focus on a simpler thing now - original on the left, potential result on the right:

At this point I should note: the goal here isn't to make anything _impressive_, but it should be joyful. Doing these grades takes me generally 30 seconds to 3 minutes, and I think about it as memorizing the joy of being alive, and an artistic exercise, and not building a portfolio, so please don't take these as "wow these are sooo impressive, never before you've seen a photoshoppéd imàge".

Once again, the first step is to try increasing brightness and contrast just to see what detail is hiding in the photo, and then once you explore, reset those, and proceed to draw some dramatic curves:

Actually remember what I said about happy accidents? I realized that just one frame further in the footage, the horizon looks a lot more dramatic (right side; already graded), and I like that better, and I prefer it to the current frame (left side):

Or if you want; untouched initial state (left side) versus the previous finished grade (right side):

Now I'll do something I'd never recommend with proper, sharp footage - increase Midtone Detail to 100 not in one, but in two consecutive nodes, and also increase Gamma to about 1.07 to brighten it up while keeping the dark parts as they are.

Left side: double-sharpened (notice the grain), right side: without sharpening.

Next up: add a third node, crank the Midtone Detail to 100 once again, and add one of favorite effects for beginners to overuse: Glow. Most settings are defaults, Shine Threshold, Relative Spread Green and Blue adjusted.

Left side: our existing adjustments, with 3x Midtone Detail at +100, right side: with the Glow effect applied.

Cheesy? Yes. But visceral. And I like how it starts to feel like a watercolor painting. Next, let's add some hmm... Power window. Let's see if a hint of cyan would do it good.

First, add a new node, add Gradient power window, make it point down, and crank either of Lift/Gamma/Gain/Offset to some ridiculous color just to see how it affects the image:

Remember, a lot of art is much less about getting it right on the first try, and much more about making quick iterations, a lot of very small "mistakes" that are easy to undo and adjust and learn from.

Cranking Gain to cyan removes a lot of the definition from the image (left: previous version, right: with Gain adjusted). I'm not a fan.

I don't like this, so I lower the luminosity of the Gain. (Move the slider wheel under Gain to the left.) That looks somewhat better, but still feels like the blue is oversaturated - more so than before.

I lower the Saturation from the default 50 to about 12, and move the Gain color a bit further left towards green. I also make the Gradient a bit longer, so now it goes almost all the way down. This gives it a lot more grayish, graphite watercolor look which I like, but I'm not sure if my heart's fully in it (left: prev, right: desaturated):

It feels less like a vibrant sky, and more like sitting with your feelings and pretending to be a rock underwater. ⛅ There's no mistakes, there's just depressing little accidents. ✨

You know what? Let's put a little color back though. This is the gorgeous thing about incredibly soft power windows: You usually can't tell they're there if you're not looking right at it:

& when you're feeling creatively bankrupt, it's time to reach out for some cheese!

No? Yes? OK maybe a little of it.

Then all it needs is some tasteful lightning for the early 2000s desktop background feel.

nah, just kidding

My computer crashed hard 3 times as I was trying to apply Prism Blur in the next step, so I think that's a sign that it's best not to overthink and over-process a photo, even if it was the original intention. But as a little treat at the end, you can use the same grade to look at the rest of the clip and realize how absolutely inhumane it is to have midtone details set to 3x100%

[silvysartfulness]

12, 17, 19, 22 for the choose violence ask game👀

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Oh man, like. All of them? I tend to only fall for unpopular characters, so that's a long list. But keeping it just to a few choice people in the Untamed;

Xue Yang. Obviously. He's brilliant, he's dedicated, he's fucked up in some really interesting ways and he got so close to having a redemption arc and happy ending before everything came crashing down! If he'd been the protagonist/viewpoint character, you know he'd be getting the fandom's WWX cinnamon roll treatment. But alas.

Jiang Cheng. That so many people dislike him honestly baffles me? I see so many takes that are frankly based in extremely shallow readings, disregarding his trauma, his world context, the impossible balance between his crushing responsibilities and the people important to him. He's not your homophobic dad or schoolyard bully, he's a deeply traumatized person doing the best with what he's got despite losing everything dear to him over and over, and he's trying so hard. He's loud and has a hot temper, but for fuck's sake, there's so much love there and you'd almost have to be willfully blind not to see it!

Jin Guangyao. Another of those "if he'd been the main character/viewpoint character, people would have loved him" ones. He's intelligent, determined, hardworking and loyal - though frequently pushed way beyond his breaking point in that loyalty. Pragmatic to the point of ruthlessness, but it's because the world's one big trolley problem to him - he sacrifices the few to help the many (even if yes, that does include himself in 'the many'), but he doesn't take pleasure in the hurt he causes (except in that one pretty understandable case of his dad). He deserves so much compassion, or at the very least understanding!

Should I put Song Lan on here? A lot of people seem to hate on him for very shallow, ship-related reasons, but within the plot, he tried his very hardest to set things right. It's not his fault they were all already doomed by the narrative and he walked into Yi City that day as the unwitting catalyst.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

For fics, Yi City fix-its that don't count killing Xue Yang as "fixing it". Stories digging into the hot mess of the complex, fascinating canon-verse, or at least reincarnation.

More fics with characterization I vibe with - a complicated, rough-edged but ultimately lovable Xue Yang, a compassionate but stubborn and somewhat brittle Xiao Xingchen and a Song Lan who feels so much and is so bad at showing it. More SXX fics overall!

For art, more art with the CQL character designs! The designs for the other adaptations are kind of cute, but they're just not my guys, and I feel pretty lukewarm toward them on the whole.

(And fellow artists - please, please, please don't forget Xue Yang's missing finger! 😭 I see so much fanart with either 10 intact fingers, or a glove with a fully articulated left pinky. His lost finger is the driving force of his entire character arc, don't just forget about it...😢)

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Hmm... 🤔 On the whole, I don't feel a lot of shame for my tastes in fiction. I'm surprised I actually ended up really liking the main couple as much as I did - in a love story, no less? That literally never happens, I always go for the sideline gremlins.Other than that, though...

Trying very hard to hold up the blorbos and my usual go-to tropes, groping around for any sense of horror or shame, but I can't think of anything really. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I guess I'm that one (1) person who actually likes the Yin Iron plot? I genuinely think CQL made a lot of good choices to tie the sprawling narrative together more cohesively, and I liked the introduction of the Yin Iron and how it led into the creation of the Yin Tiger Seal rather than tossing the latter in as an "Oh yeah, this was a thing that totally existed all along, forgot to mention". (I know MDZS was written and posted in installment, and that can make it hard to work with foreshadowing etc, but even so. I do think CQL did a good job tightening up the story in many ways.)

And don't get me wrong, I absolutely don't mind the idea of Xue Yang as an absolute nobody clawing his way up from nothing! It's a delicious version, too! But there's just something about the idea of a family he could have belonged to, a sense of community he could have had, ripped away centuries before he was even born.

If I want to be a petty, I guess I could put "Xue Yang is canonically brilliant" under this question, too, because I wish that was explored in more fics and meta. The boy is a prodigy. He's a genius. He's also a street-brawler, petty thief and murderous little piece of shit, but that doesn't take away the first point. Let Xue Yang be the highly, dangerously intelligent Problem that he actually is!

[buffyandwillow]

i walk into an art gallery for an exhibition opening wearing khakis and a parka and a face mask and holding in my hand a grocery bag with a ham inside. two tables inside the door are brimming with cheese and crackers and glasses of wine and bottles of perrier. i ignore them, not wanting to remove my mask, nor to linger to long.

some people are looking at the art. most are grouped in the center of the room, talking and catching up and eating their cheese and drinking their wine and perrier. i move quietly around the perimeter on my own, wanting only to absorb each of the artworks into my brain before leaving again.

a man approaches me when i'm halfway through my mission. i had made eye contact with him a few minutes earlier, just for a split-second.

i realize quickly that i had reached the wall where his artworks were being shown. "ah," i say. "i know your name. i've seen some of your articles about these techniques." i hadn't read them, but that didn't matter. he asks my name, and i tell him. i tell him five times, each time a little louder, because he can't hear me. "i'm lydia." "livia?" "lydia." "hmm?" "el-why-dee-eye-eh." "libia?" "LYDIA," i nearly shout across the gallery. but no one else looks our way.

he asks to see my face. i acquiesce because it's the easiest thing to, moving my mask to the side for just a moment, still gripping the bag with the ham in my other hand. "it's a shame to cover that up," he says when i do, and i want to leave but i want to see the rest of the artwork.

he points out three diagonal lines in one of his pieces, which doesn't interest me in the slightest. "why do you think i did that?" he asks. "you tell me," i say, three times, because he still can't hear me.

he talks more at length about his art, stopping mid-thought here and there. "where are you from?" he asks. i tell him toronto. more art talk, then: "are you single, married, engaged...?" "committed," i reply briskly. "how old are you?" "twenty-nine." he tells me he just turned eighty. that his daughter is thirty-one and just got married. i remain trapped in this conversation for what feels like hours.

finally he decides to go and i am free, except he comes back a minute later, having remembered that he didn't ask if i have work in the exhibition, too. i do. i should have said i don't.

standing there in front my work, once again trapped, leads to an exit: he introduces me to another artist whose name i am familiar with. she is kind, and welcoming, and for a few minutes we stand together and look quietly at the work on the wall before moving slowly away to continue our own journeys - i am travelling clockwise around the room, she counterclockwise. once i have finally, finally seen it all, i find her again. it was nice to meet you, i'm hope our paths will cross again, i hope you have a wonderful night, come visit my studio sometime. it's almost nice enough to mute the previous conversation which is still echoing uncomfortably in my mind.

the tables at the front door are nearly empty as i leave, save for a few crackers. i put on my hat and mitts and head home with my ham.

[yarechano075]

one piece x y/n [part-2]

" hiss " you opened your eyes while letting out a hiss . you bumped your head on the closet door .

" huh what time is it ? " there were all dark in there , you silently open the door and came out , you can experience the motion and it was kind of harsh motion .

when you looked out from window you can saw everyone fighting for there life while trying to escape . you noticed that the marine ship was trying to catch them .

" I think it's time to introduce me now " you said while stretching out .

" usopp , now !!! " nami commanded usopp who was aiming on marine ship with his weapon .

listing to nami he shot and like always his aim was so accurate .

zoro was cutting the cannonballs fired by marines same goes to sanji . luffy was attacking their ships with usopp firing with the help of nami leading him in directions . robin was protecting the ship , brook and chopper was helping franky and jinbei to escape as soon as possible .

they were all busy that no one noticed you . you thought you should help marines to defeat them but somehow your mind changed suddenly and when a cannonball was about to hit the back of ship , you cut the cannonball in million small piece with the help of your sword .

everyone got shocked seeing a stranger on the ship and also trying to help them . but the more important thing right now was to escape from marines , so not giving you much attention they all keep doing what they were doing and you join them too while destroying the ships with them .

finally half an hour latter they all successfully escaped from marine . but for your shock they were not even a lil bit tired after fighting a battle with 5 marine ships .

and before you can think of anything , you felt a sharp knife on your neck which was zoro's katana .

your father used to fight with katana so your love for katana is so intense . just by glaring you can tell which katana can cut you in half and which cannot even scratch you and this one sure can cut you in million pieces .

" hold on pal " you said while putting your hands up in air .

" who are you ? " asked nami .

" um well you know I am just a normal man who wants to become a pirate " you said while acting fool as much as you can .

" a normal man cannot cut cannonball into those small pieces " comment zoro .

he was right tho , it's been 10 years since you are practicing katana . you first start using katana when you were 10 and now you are 20 .

"oh but I don't think that a 'normal ' man is not allowed to learn the self defense , sir " you said while trying to provoke him .

and the victory was your , his scary glare converted into scarier glare .

" leave him zoro " finally the captain said .

zoro left your neck ' I though he is going to kill me today ' you thought .

luffy stand in front of you , because you are a girl your height was smaller than mostly all mans in marine headquater , but luffy's height was same as your he was looking at you from top to bottom .

" well do you really wants to join the crew ? " he asked .

" yes of course ! I can be the artist of the group " you answered while confident in your art skills .

" I can draw anything and I really wants to see unexpected things which exist in this world and wants to draw them on paper " you said while all excited .

" hmmmmmmm " luffy hmm and think something and then said " okay ! " with goffy look .

" really ?! thank you ! " you said while hugging luffy in excitement .

' is he really that dumb ? but why didn't his crewmates object ? are they all dumb ? , no I don't think it can be the case ' you thought .

" btw what's your name ? " asked chopper .

' oh my god !! how cute !! wait a racoon just spoke !! ' you thought .

" l/n y/n " you replied while not acting all shock .

" welcome abroad y/n kun " robin said while smiling and you smiled back .

everyone was kind of chill about your presence but you can still feel like zoro are sanji are still unconvinced .

[pokemegha]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ✨

Was surprised to see two of these asks in my inbox, thought I'll answer in one go😅

Thanks Samaa and @mabledonut for the ask!!! 🧡😊

Okay...so five things I like about myself hmm first my Art I guess (tho I reaaaaallllllyyyyy wanna improve) but I'm happy about it given I was better in it now than few months ago and will probably get better later on in future! Second... My fanatism yeah, I love being fan of things, be it Anime like Naruto or Pokémon, or fic Writers and Artists like the ones who sent me this ask or even Cricket, love the feeling or daydreaming and headcanoning stuff fr and obviously drawung said things and reading fics about them ;)

Now on to three hmm... Why this is so hard damn..okay so my personality? Tried to turn myself into a bunch of my fav characters but I'm just an annoying mess who makes sus jokes lol but ya know what they say about love yourself hehe ¯⁠\⁠_(シ)_⁠/⁠¯ ...now fourth hmm ,my looks yeah kinda, I can sort of ...pull off some cosplay-ish expressions which I'm very pleased about so yeah, gotta put that in this list

Now fifth finally... Ig I should add something that should feel more meaningful... Idk I don't want it to sound cheesy or something... But ig I'll say I like being kind? Generous? Idk I'm the kind of person who'll forcefully stay awake to talk to someone who's having a hard time which is a nice quality to have in a human right? Even if some of the said people's are strangers online, well it can backfire but if you made someone's day better then it's always a good thing , at least that's how I see it ...(⁠.❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Well I counted five so yayy :D lol looks like I ranted quite a lot being half asleep and I'll probably think few times about why I pressed post after waking up XP

I'll do the second part of ask after waking uo too so have a great day you both , Thanks for the ask again <3333 (and sorry for the long answer ':)