#his teenage years were shit
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okay, lemme just say: Gil-galad, who hated being the king Gil-galad, who had never wanted to be the king in the first place Gil-galad, who was crowned anyway, because there were hardly any finweans left around and the noldor in Beleriand needed a king, just so they can hold onto something, have some semblances of normality in the apocalyptic post-nirnaeth time Gil-galad, who became the high king when he was only 13/14 if we convert to human years, who was barely able to hold back tears in front of crowds as the crown was being placed upon his head Gil-galad, who had been raised by Círdan on Balar, among Teleri, and now he was the number 1 person in a culture that he didn't even feel like was truly his. A culture that so far he had only been taught about, had never participated in. Gil-galad, who politically hardly ever got to make his own decisions, whose role as the king was mostly limited to signing up whatever the parliament needed to validate and who was ascribed the blame whenever an idea backfired Gil-galad, who always wished he could've just lived a simple life on Balar, alongside Teleri, worked on a fishing boat and stuff like that, but instead he was manoeuvred into politics and bureaucracy, and an office that everyone at this point already knew was cursed, overall an enormous amount of responsibility, when he was basically still a child Gil-galad who was handling it all quite well until the third kinslaying happened Gil-galad, who was something like 15/16 in human years when the third kinslaying happened, who then had to face the reality of his reign, which was: he held little to no power. He was just a teenager, put on a throne, so the noldorin power in beleriand didn't seem to be crumbling as badly as it actually was. And he definitely wasn't able to protect his people Gil-galad, who was still doing his best after the third kinslaying, but also he started turning completely self-destructive in his free time. Like, there wasn't a single weekend he wouldn't spend at some party, drinking until he blacked out, taking whatever drugs he could get, getting involved in all kinds of reckless/precarious sexual behaviours Gil-galad, who just wanted someone to show up and take over the kingship , but was aware that all hopes for it had been wiped out when the feanorians attacked Sirion. That any hopes were gone along with Eärendil and his little sons. Gil-galad, whose role was mostly representative, so he had to be present at all kinds of events, no excuses. ,,What do you mean you need a day off? You're the king, ffs!!! Get your hangovered ass over there, it's not like you're going to work'' It pretty much resulted in young Gil-galad quite often showing up in public hangovered/ still lightly drunk/drugged/ overall messy af. And aside from the toll it took on his reputation, like- the king who has some serious troubles with substance abuse is probably easy to be influenced on many matters; it's also the fact that he was crowned to raise the morale among noldor, to message: ,,Look, we still have a king, it's not that bad!" How does it impact the Noldor when they repeatedly see their king barely able to stand upright or retching in some darkened corner? Not well, to say the least. Gil-galad, who felt trapped by the kingship. Gil-galad, who knew there was no way out of it for him, other than by suffering a painful death like basically every one of his predecessors Gil-galad who was being self-destructive and he didn't care about getting hurt because ,,hey, I have no control over my own life anyways :)))'' but also Gil-galad, who grew out of his teenage years and in his early adulthood had some ,,I can't keep living like this" moments , especially after waking up somewhere on the cold ground, feeling like shit and covered in vomit and all other kinds of fluids either his own or someone else's or both
Gil-galad who was in his early twenties (again, converted to human years) and decided to get his life together, because if he's trapped anyway, he can as well try to make it a little less horrible for himself
Gil-galad, who had maybe never got quite the amount of support he needed from Círdan, but Círdan had definitely taught him a lot and enough for him to be able to get by in life and politics
Gil-galad, who started getting his life together in his early twenties, and even if he stayed dangerously close to alcohol/drugs addiction and kept his inclination for partying for the rest of his life, he was actually doing fine
Also sometime after the War of Wrath began, it turned out that Eärendil's sons had made it out alive after all, and maybe it wasn't fixing all Ereinion's problems, but it sure was SOMETHING
#silmarillion#the silmarillion#gil galad#ereinion gil galad#his teenage years were shit#it got only slightly better later in his life#y'all know how doges of venice had extremely limited power because everyone feared they would become dictators?#I imagine that gil galad had a bit more liberty than them but still he was controlled severely on many matters almost all the time#the only exception were emergencies#and these also were scrutinized afterwards#he needed the parliament's agreement for basically everything#like he couldn't even leave Balar island/ (later in his life) Lindon city without their permission#and all of this because the Noldor at the time were afraid that another king would pull a Fëanor on them#a.k.a. make some really important decisions (like a relocation of almost whole nation to another continent) on a whim#without anyone controlling that#I swear I love this character#he my favourite babygirl#he ain't even a girl but: cool girl/ party girl/ cinnamon roll baby#silmarillion headcanon#cw: substance abuse
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Prompt 198
Now Bruce was not expecting to reincarnate upon his death. At least he thinks he died, he’s pretty sure he did. There wasn’t any other reason for him to be a well, literal baby. Around two he thinks, which fits well with the fact that it’s around that time that babies start forming memory recall, if he, well, remembered correctly.
But while he knew about reincarnation thanks to Shayera and Carter, he’d never exactly given it much thought towards himself. Because seriously, what were the chances of such a thing as him being given another chance?
So he was quite surprised at his situation, experimentally opening and closing pudgy hands that looked well, just a tiny bit off. He’d never been that pale before, he thinks, even back when he never went outside like, ever.
He turned his gaze towards the mobile above him with a sort of idle curiosity- a mixture of bats (ha) and other trinkets he wasn’t familiar with. It also caused him to get his first good look at his parent, asleep on a rocking chair right next to the crib.
Huh. They had the same pale skin he did, albeit in the light it looked like it was slightly tinted blue, and while their hair was white they didn’t exactly look old. They looked surprisingly well rested for raising a toddler too, unless they had a nanny or something similar… He rolled over, managing to very shakily push himself to his feet with the help of the crib.
Why was standing so hard as a toddler? And why did he have his memories of everything except how he had died anyway?
His head whipped up from where they were staring at his feet when he heard a snort, finding his parent awake and standing. Somehow silently enough that he hadn’t noticed- or he was that easily distracted by the unfamiliar giddiness bursting in his chest.
“Morning little bat,” his parent easily picked him up and held him while he inwardly sighed at the nickname. Of course his bat motif would follow him into this life. A low rumbling almost caused him to jump, his body relaxing before he could fully register the sound. The… purring?
Oh.
He wasn’t human this time around.
#Dcxdp#Dpxdc#Prompts#Vlad is a young-adult dad to a reincarnated Bruce#After the hospital he drowned his despair/distress in any way he could & ended up with a baby boy#Bruce’s main suspected species of what they were was vampire before the ghost reveal lol#Bruce can’t say shit about Vlad’s thievery but he has the most judging expression for a toddler#Then he also sees his new dad develop and try to figure out powers#Vlad was terrified to pick him up when he first discovered his ghost fire#Yes this very much changes Vlad’s relationship with Danny#The reunion has 14 year old Danny meet a Very Smart 8 year old Bruce#Yes Bruce clocks teenage vigilante instantly#And look he Would try to get Vlad to stop the possession shit but as long as it’s actual assholes he can’t exactly judge#He blackmailed SO many people in his past life… he's trying Not to be a hypocrite here#Why yes Bruce IS very liminal from having a half-ghost dad#Vlad panicked more than he did when his fangs came in (Bruce has made a file about both himself & everyone he meets)#Just because he’s now baby doesn’t mean he’s no longer Bruce#At some point someone from his world might find their way to this one but that would be a very long time in the future lol#Vlad (unaware of his core being able to feel his ghostling’s big emotions): Wow raising a child is surprisingly easy
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I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.
#fourth wing#ngl my first thought reading the book was 'oh shit she Knew brennan wanted to use his sis as a scribe informant for the rebellion the same#way he maybe used his dad and she was like hell no and put her in the riders quadrant to get her brainwashed that navarre is right instead#so that she doesn't end up dead like spy-scribe dad and his questionable research into ward magic'#but then i thought about it more and decided i wasn't giving papa sorrengail enough credit bcoz he was Up to Something and got got for it#personally if my entire family was lying to me abt my big bro being alive i would lose my shit. that being said i find it incredibly funny#that everyone who knew violet best were like 'she finds out venin are a thing and she WILL do A Stupid out of righteous fury'#not A Stupid like smthn dumb; A Stupid like lead the entire scribe quadrant to a bloody revolution against Navarre Babel-style#I can't wait for this series to finish publishing so I can sit my ass down and plot out a scribe-revolution-leader-Violet AU#it can even be a viden secret arranged marriage. as a treat. because we need to merge the two rebellions of course#where is tiern in all of this? he got stuck babysitting teen andarna who is Super Mad her rider is a scribe. The Audacity! Navarre Will Pay#teenage dragon shenanigans occur. Scribe Violet bonds two dragons in front of her whole year. they're in the underground scribe library.#how did two enormous-ass lizards get in? nobody gives a shit. all scribes are too sleep-deprieved to care about distinguishing between#real life and halucinations. the dragons stay in the library. they get sat on because it's cold underground and fire lizards are Warm#command tries to find out if smthn weird is happening in the scribe quadrant but at this point every single one of them is in the rebellion#they have 600yrs of misinfo to correct. venin to dissect. what dragons? in the library? don't be ridiculous they'd burn the books#anyways i got carried away but library cats!tiern and andarna#kei writes
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Devastating news: my brother is a normal person. It doesn't run in the family, I'm just a weird freak for no reason
#i'm exaggerating but not that much. my parents are like that because they're in their 50s. they were young adults once#okay so my brother. 18 years of age. just started his fancy higher studies in maths. tiny baby goatee he's not shaving.#went to a friend's week long birthday party in a house in the countryside#made out with a girl there?? apparently???#started drinking alcohol. and has now been going out longer and more frequently and sleeping at other people's places#and bestie. let me tell you. i was never doing any of that shit. in fact i am not doing any of that still and i'm a few years older#i don't go out much. i have like four or five friends at all times tops. i certainly don't come back late or god forbid sleep over#never drunk alcohol (don't want to. i could! i just don't. i'm the sober idiot in the corner when everyone else is drunk)#never kissed anyone or had a partner or anything of the sort#he decided to sleep over at midnight?? with zero preparation??#buddy it would have to be pouring acid rain for me to have an unplanned sleepover#without my toothbrush? my pyjama? my phone charger? my plushies? possibly my own pillow/blanket? be for real#my brother is a normal teenager/young adults with a social life and no weird hangup about romance and alcohol and spontaneity#and i'm some kind of freak i guess. having a normal time#older sister girlfailure forever i suppose. how the fuck do i feel like my younger brother is cooler and more normal than me???#i don't even want to be like that i like myself i thought i left all this stupid unfounded insecurity behind with school!!#arghhhhhh#wow i have a ramble tag now
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put saiki kusuo in bsd yokohama and the bsd cast will be questioning their whole lives.
#bsd#saiki k#cloud talks a lot#sorry but if i were an ability user in bsd yokohama belonging to an organization (say the PM) (I should be like early to mid 20s)#and i meet this teenager. this kid. hes younger than me. hes somehow got all the abilities in the world#yet hes so painstakingly average#his life is so... normal... in comparison to mine.#i would be jealous#then somehow i find out#thats not the case#his life isnt normal at all#this kid reverses the time in his world by a year just so the entirety japan doesnt disappear#because he cant prevent a volcano from erupting#holy shit. this kid is so not average.#but why deny that uniqueness of his?#i find out about his brother. his family.#how. growing up hes subjected himself to a life of solitude#how. growing up. this kid has heard from his own father and brother that he is a monster#how his brother would toy with him in an unbrotherly way#how his brother projected his insecurities onto him#ok thats enough tags#tldr#if i was a bsd character meeting saiki kusuo i'd adopt him#bungou stray dogs#saiki kusuo no psi nan#saiki kusuo
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I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.
#personal#move back to your small hometown they said#it'll be fun they said#me chanting over and over again:#if you live here you get to see your family all the time#(this is a good thing for me i love my brother and his family)#dude honestly this whole thing is just hilarious at this point#anyway newest drama is that one of the parents thinks it's suspicious that i 'quit' the same time my best friend moved away#the shit that is being said about us right now??? fucking wild#i haven't told any of those kids why i really left because they don't need me to be gossiping about their current coach to them#that would be so unprofessional of me#i say like she wasn't spreading rumors about me to THEM directly last year#we are all in our 30s here why are we acting like fucking teenagers still#i'm about to be real petty when i go visit next week though#'oh my god you won't believe what i heard crystal is telling people at her salon'#to the coach not the kids lol#i have a sneaking suspicion that the she is involved in this gossip in an adjacent way not directly#and i want her to think about the shit she says before she says it#she's mad that i don't want to coach jv when i told her multiple times i don't want to run my own program#and that i'd be happy to help her out as an assistant coach but that having to deal with parents is my worst actual nightmare#see what's happening right now#literally the only reason i applied is because i love those kids and they were all freaking out about my friend leaving#because they thought their current coach was also going to be leaving#and i was like hey i won't leave you guys don't worry#it's her fault that she chose not to include me in any of her brainstorming for next year#if she really wanted me to be involved she would have been talking to me about it back in april#i'm literally barely pulling myself out of my grief hole about losing coaching#and i could have stayed around but i would have been miserable#because it wouldn't have been in the capacity that i really wanted#oof okay i feel a little better after venting a bit
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why am i having to hold a gun to googles head to show me articles on the long term effects of hormonal birth control on the endocrine system in adult patients who began usage as a teenager
#barks#i just wanna know if having a hormonal iud as a teenager fucked with my shit or not#causeeeeee i switched to copper a few years ago and everything was gucci in the coochie until a bad summer hit#lo and behold i call the gyno and she puts me on nuvaring because my symptoms were a sign of hormonal imbalance#meaning i got my ass fucked up from the first iud. right?#fuck if i know i wish they didnt make it my responsibility and then not actually give a shit as to what really happens#the absolute hell you can go through both on and off of birth control is out fucking rageous#'cool my cramps arent as bad but im a raging bitch i want to rob a bank and i want to kill everyone and then myself'#can you please for more than five fucking seconds think about the actual effects these things have on us that arent 'harder to get pregnant#also never listen to anyone that tells you you cant get your tubes tied and still be able to have children down the line#they always wanna bitch and moan about it but its literally reversible just like a vasectomy. not as easy but still possible!#do we get mad at and blame the kitchen counter when a baby smacks their head against it? no. the baby is at fault#tell me why something i have no control over is the reason i have to bear the cross#instead of the dipshit baby that cause the issue in the first place being at fault?????????????????????#im going to burn this world down i swear to god i hate it more every day#the beauty is evident but the horrors persist#hi if you read all of this
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Everyone talking about adopting Palestinian kids needs to read Scott Carney’s The Red Market and a brief definition of genocide outside of the physical destruction of lives.
#ra speaks#personal#adoption#palestine#the red market#it’s been years since I read that book#but the sections about the trafficked kids has always stuck with me#about the family who had their son stolen. who tracked him down in America. who asked the family to see him#not to take him home not to be a part of his life but simply to speak with a now young teenager#and tell him how much they loved him and missed him and were happy he was safe#only for the family to deny them.#like Jesus fucking Christ man that shit has fucked me up#idk maybe it’s just cause my countin died recently#and she was adopted and her graduate psychology work was with adopted kids because she was passionate#about the flaws and dangers of the system she grew up in#but every person who talks about saving the children when they mean taking them away from everything and everyone they’ve ever known#it makes my skin crawl#we should be putting effort into keeping track of families. of finding family friends and connections for these kids.#not throwing them into a new country full of racists who will give them shit for where they were born no matter how American they’re raised
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people are really saying FNAF was "OG Markiplier"?
Try SCP Containment breach. Or Slender. Or even Amnesia, Dark Descent.
I feel so old seeing people say that btw, and I'm 24. Lmao
#i remember when markiplier played fnaf for the first time#shit was scary as hell. the lore and the games were so mysterious and dark#i mean. they still are. but once the 4th game came out it started to get a bit stale#and i found the 4th game scary. not for long tho#i think the first 2... even 3 games were creepy asf#still think they are. i cant even bring myself to play them#i cant play horror games because i suck at them and i get scared easily#i havent watched markiplier in so long... he's changed a lot#and that's not a bad thing. pretty cool that his YT career has been successful over the years#but i cant bring myself to idolise real people again. im not like that anymore#i watch his old vids from time to time for nostalgia reasons but thats it#same with PDP... And I stopped watching him before i stopped watching mark#i feel old talking about this#it feels so long ago but it was only 12 yrs ago...#ramblings#before anyone comes at me about watching pdp i was a young impressionable teenager#when i was watching these youtubers. so forgive me#i stopped watching him for obvious reasons. like the controversial shit#and he just kinda changed and i didnt like his vids anymore so i stopped#damn there are kids these days who dont know the old markiplier memes#like 'everybody do the dinosaur' or 'poof!'#GOD I MISS IT
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ok fr last one but there's actually a bootleg of my school's anastasia and i'm linking it bc you all NEED to understand that my infatuation with this one girl's voice which started when i was in the 6th grade and still hasn't really worn off isn't based on nothing
#brielle's the one in the n95 mask (the video is too grainy to actually make out any of the ensemble's faces but she stands out)#and i'm the in my 'teenage tboy's diy first short haircut' era in every scene she's in#apart from everything abt the girl who plays anya. the tea on everyone else is that our director liked the boy who played gleb's voice so#much that she actually lowered some if not all of his parts to be in his range. the guy who played vlad was a total diva and uhm. the phras#'peaked in high school' has been tossed around at him a lot. and the fact that he came back to sub the year after he graduated isn't helpin#his case. also he pressured the girl who played anya's grandmother into wearing old age makeup + spray her hair grey bc he decided he was#going to wear it and since she's supposed to be older than him she had to too and used to waltz into the girls' changing room whenever he#wanted. everyone was like super shocked during auditions though bc we all thought he was a shoe-in for dimitry esp since seniors get#priority casting bc it's their last chance. but at callbacks (we had singing auditions via video and dance auditions in person and callback#were tacked on to the dance auditions) he kinda flubbed his song and then this freshman. who was with us via google meet bc he literally ha#covid at the time absolutely blew him out of the water and i remember walking away w brielle like 'holy shit [first name] [last name] just#lost a part to a freshman' (he's the kind of person you just have to full name otherwise it sounds wrong). that said i do think he made a#much better vlad then he would've made a dimitry and while he is. a lot. he's always been nice to me and i did briefly idolize him and his#stage presence way i did anya's singing voice but that faded when i got into hs and started actually observing his prima donna ways#(the one production we were in together before in middle school we didn't have any scenes together). the girl who played the grandma#actually shouted me out in cast circle and that's the only time that's ever happened to me. also i'm p sure her dad is/was dating someone m#dad and by extension myself work with so that's. Oh My God. like she (the one who works for my dad) brought him w her to a comedy show as i#think her bf but i'm not 100% sure and when he found out what school i went to he mentioned his daughter went there and despite the fact#that i basically have a script for when people ask me that question bc i do NOT pay attention to most of my fellow students and don't know#anyone i was like 'holy shit' bc i actually did. hm what else. the guy who played the tsar and i used to shittalk bad period dramas#backstage during the first part of act 2. also during the press conference scene i need you to picture all the bolshevik soldiers and#romanov royals doing the macarena behind the curtain bc that was absolutely what we were doing back there. speaking of the press conference#the really high singing w/o a clear source was actually anya standing behind the curtain on the other side of the stage bc she's the only#one who physically could sing the part. also in regards to the bolshevik soldiers. we were originally supposed to have wooden rifles but fo#some reason our director took them out so we had to just walk menacingly towards the romanovs. you can't rlly see me that well in that scen#but that jacket would NOT stay closed and for 2/3 performances i had to awkwardly hold it closed the entire time. luckily the one that was#filmed was the one where i was smart enough to bring safety pins and also saved like all of the ballerinas bc their costumes all started#falling apart at once backstage.#romeo.txt#theatreposting
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can’t stop thinking about Marie reviving Kevin. does anyone ever manage to open the gates of Heaven again. does anyone even bother to tell Linda if they do. does Kevin lose more and more of himself as the years go on, and she’s forced to lose her son a second time. Linda carrying around a warded box with Kevin’s final tether in it so that he can’t accidentally hurt anyone, never knowing if it’s safe to release him from this world, if he won’t be worse trapped in the veil with no one to hold on to at all. one way or another, to love your child is to cage them.
(which is not to say that it’s her fault or even that she could have done anything differently. this is an impossible situation. this is something neither of them ever should have been forced to go through. her son is dead, and nothing can ever change that, and the best she can hope for is to hope that she can send him to heaven before she gets killed, too. because once an acquaintance of the winchesters, always a target for people who have a grudge against them. linda goes through. a lot. in the next few years. family is hell and all.)
the way this shakes out in my head is as a hunt. someone is using a ghost to kill people, and it becomes clear, very quickly, that this ghost is kevin. that someone stole him from linda. and the worst part is that kevin has been a spirit for years now and the magic keeping him under control is strong enough that he can barely tell what’s happening. to him, he’s lashing out to protect his mom, even though she’s not there and he’s just being used. it’s a horrifying fate. and “the only way to save him is to put him down, it’s mercy,” except they still don’t know if that’ll send him to Heaven or Hell or further into the Veil or worse.
and I am thinking about marie finding this little box, open because Kevin is being forced to attack the Winchesters, maybe even his mom, as they try to save him, and marie pulling out the ring his ghost is tied to, and marie, who listened so closely to Linda talking about her son, so proud of him and so torn apart by grief. I’m imagining this takes place early on, before Lucifer has had a chance to get to the twins, so all the family Marie has is the Winchesters, and Castiel, and Jack, and none of them are really her parents. Dean is hot-and-cold unable to connect, and Sam tries so hard to take care of the twins but can barely look them in the eyes most days, and Castiel prepared for a baby and got something else entirely, and Jack is. Well. Jack is someone she cannot imagine outliving, cannot conceive of a world without.
And so what I’m saying is that she’s holding that ring, and she’s supposed to destroy it, and she can’t. She can’t. Kevin’s spirit is here, and if she can fix it- if she can fix it. Jack elsewhere suddenly gulping down breaths because his heart is racing too fast and his power is being dragged from him into his sister’s hands, and realizing that this is how Marie felt when he brought back Castiel. She didn’t complain, so he grins and bears it. It is an awful, exhausting thing.
But Kevin lives. With all his memories of being a ghost, of losing himself, of being used as a weapon. He’s alive. He shouldn’t be, but he shouldn’t have died either. There’s a girl looking at him, who is his height and younger than him by more than a decade and needs this to have been a Good Thing she did.
at least he gets to hug his mom again.
#so you know. a few thoughts. Kevin should get to live damnit#LET! HIM! COME! BACK! WRONG!#(I’m aware this ignores the whole ‘Chuck sending him to hell secretly and then other shit happening’ plotline but uh.#If The Show Did Not Care To Resolve That. Fuck Em.#they were literally happy to let Kevin wander the earth as a ghost and lose his mind. and fuck em!!! no he the fuck will not!!!#he will only lose his mind a little bit and then be alive again and have to live with it. I mean how old even if he right?#looking at himself in the mirror and Marie did her best but the picture of Kevin Linda had on her was a year or two old by the time he died#and that’s all Marie had of him to go off of. that and memories. and she did her best.#but kevin looks at himself. he’s too old he’s too young he doesn’t fit his own skin.#he expects his hand to go through objects. he dissociates for hours. forgets to eat or sleep or drink.#he’s not a prophet anymore. there are no prophets. and yet sometimes his ears still ring around angels and his vision is scarred over with#writing from tablets long since destroyed and his head is too full. he refuses any offer of the Winchesters to live in the bunker.#he’s a ghost and he’s a teenager and he’s an ex-prophet and he’s kevin freaking tran#marieposting#spn#kevin tran#linda tran
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trunk or treat. trick or treating days before the actual holiday. spirit halloween opening in early september. christmas decorations being on shelves at the same time as halloween.
no fucking wonder kids are so disillusioned with all of this and live in their phones. nothing is special anymore. whats the point of even having holidays like this when nobody even celebrates them on the holiday anymore???
#crayon on envelope#i already hate christmas#i waited all week for the stuff on webkinz but it still didnt feel like halloween#nobody carved pumpkins#nobody decorated#its so fucking depressing to see#and yea post pandemic shit but like they were still celebrating holidays on the actual dates when world war 2 ended bro#I DONT THINK THATS THE ISSUE HERE#my friend ryan and i went trick or treating last year and people were like#annoyed#like he was amost 20 i just turned 23 and his friend who was our handler was 21 i think#handler as in fursuit handler#we all look like teenagers and two of us had fursuit heads on#they werent annoyed in the 'adults trick or treating' way#they were annoyed bc the whole ass town had just celebrated it on the 30th#like???? bruh#whats the fucking point anymore
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so in today's subconscious cooking up stories while i sleep, 1) my parents were rich af, 2) i was 16 or so and had a mental breakdown (for the only realistic part), so they 3) drove me to some facility and i was screaming and running away UNTIL 4) the therapy they assigned to me was a two hour walk around a huge glass building with the lawyer from Anatomy of a Fall 😭😂
i completely forgot about this meh film and the guy... or clearly not on some level. also 5) became friends with a fellow inpatient who looked suspiciously like Rayne Fisher-Quann.
okayyyyy
#and i know this is boring for anyone outside of this brain but i have to laugh at the weird randomness with strings of logic (there was lots#of snow?? let's add a canadian girl)#just lol.#personal#//#also i didn't realise who those people were in that dream - only later#it's a lot of nonsense but a nice break from body horror weird scary shit i usually get#it's definitely because i was crying over my teenage years recently! but the french lawyer bit i don't quite get#replacement father figure probably - dear lord what a sad little life jane#anyway he was really good at his job so maybe i should tell him to change careers?#OOOh just remember it had a weird horribly dark scene at the end unrelated to previous plotline - nevermind! couldn't get something#not scarring for once of course 🥰
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There’s an influx of city folk out here in the fuckin boonies where I live, and occasionally one of them will think it’s funny to rev their engines to try and scare my goats and/or horses. And just based on principle, I frown on that type of behavior and don’t appreciate it, because hey you’re harassing my animals, but I do concede that it is funny to see them run, because my goats have floppy ears and they fly around everywhere. The funniest part of all of this, tho, is that they’re inevitably disappointed because my goats and horses do not give a single shit about the cars/motorcycles/what have you or their silly little engines, so they just flat ignore them and keep grazing and I sit here on the porch laughing as they just putter off real slow in defeat
They do end up making my dogs start howling but I guess that’s just not as entertaining
#she speaks#like my horses are teenagers and none of my goats are under two years old#they’ve heard engines before#they’re not scared of fireworks or gunfire either#we’re out in the country they have heard it 😂😂#when it gets really annoying and actually malicious is when they do this on purpose when I’m riding#my mare is really green and my round pen is at the top of the pasture under a pecan tree#and shit changes when you’ve got a horse undersaddle sometimes#she’s not experience in having a whole ass person on her back#and so everything’s new for this 800 pound prey animal#yeah she’s heard an engine many many times before but not with a person on her back!#that’s a lot of sensory input#she’s not skittish or spooky so she just kinda shies from the noise and stares at it#but like if she were a more reactive horse I could get hurt#my gelding on the other hand#he has been there done that and he doesn’t give a flying fuck about it#solid as a rock and about as bombproof as you can get#his deal is he likes to test you and he’s rather spirited#but he ain’t afraid of shit#he’s the kinda horse you put the reins down on the trail and let him choose the path because you know he’ll take care of you#unless it’s rained and there’s puddles#then you’re going in the branches sorry 😂😂😂#he’s delicate and dainty and he doesn’t wanna get his pretty white socks dirty#paint horses amirite 😂
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man knowing that there are parents out there controlling what their kids watch and read is. wild to me. like as soon as i was able to read subtitles i was sitting in the living room with my family watching whatever the fuck my parents wanted to watch. the first tv series i watched was sopranos i think, to the point its been long enough that i dont remember a lot of it. like. i feel im at the opposite side of the spectrum there
#my posts#like im not saying that was a good thing exactly but like i am the age that you could see fucked up shit online easier than now anyways#but like. i saw a post about parents controlling what their kids read and it made me think of this#also a friend told me when dexter was airing his mom didnt want him watching it and he kinda did it in secret#im a year younger than him. i was asked if i wanted to join and watch#“hey we are gonna watch (movie that clearly isnt for kids) wanna watch with us?” “i dont want to be alone in my room. yes”#worst case scenario sometimes movies got paused and i got asked if i understood what was going on in there#like maybe that did something positive to my comprehension skills? but still#im not complaining i just. it confuses me so much#i wont lie i really dont remember a lot of those movies or shows tho#i remember the very basic plot of 24. i remember more about lost and dexter and house even if the way we watched it was#weird bc it was pirated dvds lmao. im completely lost at sopranos and i think i watched t hat shit twice. the whole thing#but like movies?? i really dont remember them a lot. unless ive seen them more than once and some of them were more like teenage years then#its kind of a huge blank and movies blending together. i also think this is kinda why i dont watch stuff a lot currently dsiugh#anyways yes back out of the rant. i genuinely dont get it. i mean i get it bc its a controlling thing but. man
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today a cousin i hadn't seen in a while introduced himself to me like we'd never met. i wouldn't have recognized him either if it weren't for context clues. i love genetically linked autism.
#eliot posts#also it took me a few seconds to tell hi my name#bc i almost told him my real name by reflex before stopping myself and telling him my deadnand#bc i am not out to most of my relatives#there were many relatives i did not recognize#some bc i never memorized their faces in the first place some bc they changed a lot#this cousin was a little mix of both like i talked to him enough to know him but always struggled to differentiate him from his brothers#but i think he also did some growing over the years#i think my face did not change hardly at all BUT i changed my hair#and my hair was always my most notable feature#originally bc it was SUPER long and pretty fluffy#now bc it is Blue#it also took me a second to recognize one cousin i am very good friends with#bc we just talked online the past couple years and he changed a BUNCH#also some younger cousins holy shit they're TEENAGERS now
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