#his poor “wife”

[aprixlsrain]

I still can't get over Ussop saying this 💀

[bobaenjoyer]

who gave odysseus permission to be so "oh my gawd penelope stawp i'm so petite and don't want to get my toes wet" right after going on his villain arc? and why did he eat it up as well?

"...captain why are you kicking your feet and giggling" - eurylochus at some point probably

[lazylittledragon]

did somebody say dadkarios

[eliotbaum]

Fiona has a higher STR score than both Lydia and Kasper which also means — she can carry them

[imma-triple-a-battery]

@mha-quotes-and-such

ah yes like mother like son

[monakisu]

light gets it from his mom… “it” as in “two-faced backstabbing snakery” ˘ᗜ˘🐍

(late) gift 3/3 for my secret santa @llawlieta !!! for ur prompt of yagami family Fucked Up goodness ( ͒•·̫|💚🍭🎀 hope u enjoy!! HAPPY HOLS! * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊

[totallynotzzombiecat]

he didn't sign up for this

🍂 commissions // twitter // inst // bsky

[yui-onnero]

Listening to Love in Paradise on repeat, you cannot tell me this man has not tried to escape multiple times. Just listen to how he sings (first meeting), it just screams, "How can I get out of this, how do I get out of this, what can I do to get out of this, GIMME MY WIFE-"

Like, the idea popped into my head that he would've probably tried to built a boat/raft and an oar or two to escape and Calypso was just amused by his attempts since she was just gonna snach him up again. Yes, she'd be a bit hurt, but she'd admire his attempts for trying.

(After another failed attempt to take a raft off the Island, Calypso walks him back to the cabin.) Odysseus: (murmuring) I was so close... Calypso: Yeah, good job! You managed to finish the raft and oar this time and got a good amount of distance off shore! (it was really only a couple yards) That's pretty impressive! Odysseus: (eyes narrowed) Not good enough it seems... Calypso: (blinks a few times before responding) As much as I admire your efforts, you should just relax in my paradise! We have forever after all! Why don't you just rest inside my paradise? Odysseus who frowns softly and looks sad and slightly defeated because he just wants to go to his wife and son-

But you already know he's trying again eventually.

(Until he gives up and tries to commit suicide 7 years later-)

And of course I finish writing this after almost crying a few times at the ending of the song-

[hypertechnica]

i’m going to make fiddauthor art with fidds wearing his wedding ring and you are NOT going to like it

big obligatory banner that says “cheating is bad don’t do it i just like stories with relationship drama”

closeted, internally homophobic gay men who are married with kids has to be the trope i’m weakest to. no person involved is escaping the despair brought on by a relationship built on a well intentioned, desperate lie, born out of a desire to be normal and good

he WANTED to love her so fucking badly. he felt no ill will towards her and he loves their son more than words can say. he thought the attraction, the way she felt about him, would come with time. it didn’t. he doesn’t want to hurt her yet was doomed to from the start, and he’s truly, truly sorry. this does not absolve him of anything whatsoever and she has the full right to never want to speak with him again. he lied! he pretended to feel the same when he never once felt anything but platonic affection! he’s been in love with someone else this whole fucking time! and their kid… he’s caught in the middle of it all, too young to understand why his father would hurt his family like this.

and then he disappears and never comes back. imagine you’re 5 and your dad goes to the middle of the woods with his buddy for science shit, all of the sudden your parents are yelling on the phone and signing papers, and then he goes MIA. for years.

imagine your husbands “buddy” was the one he was thinking of all this time, not you, never you. and the first chance he gets to run away from you, he takes, and you should have been suspicious by the rushed frenzy of it all, the phone calls getting shorter and shorter until it fizzles to nothing. he forgot to get you a christmas gift. he hand-made him two. there has to be something wrong with you, it has to be your fault. you wish you married the man he becomes when he’s in his presence.

he folded when you started questioning him directly - he’d been to neurotic to ever be a good liar. you thought he was the one. he thought you were nice.

by the time the divorce is finalized he’s different in a wrong way. confused, angry, forgetful, insane - if the giant homicidal robot pterodactyl you’ve been harassed by is any indication. (he’s had a bad habit of building homicidal robots when he’s mad since they met -engineer things- but it was never directed at her - thankfully it never actually does anything) he’s clearly abusing drugs - you’d feel bad if he hadn’t abandoned you with the burden of explaining why your son can’t see his father anymore.

it’s a rotten bit of your soul, but time heals you. you move on and no longer think of him. trust in your career. find a man who truly loves you with no motives attached. raise your kid to be a good man. and in a fashion not unlike shakespearean dramatic irony, this makes him move to gravity falls to find and take care of his father. you couldn’t care less what hee doing now, but damn it, it’s his father, what is the kid supposed to do? but its futile- he appears to have no remorse, hell, no memory of the incident in the first place. (this isn’t his fault but how are they supposed to know that?) so he grows bitter and cold just like his mother used to be.

imagine that.

all over a mans inability to do anything but live in denial. to force himself to live in a box and pine like a dying man over the right one at the wrong time, destined to crash and burn. to take denial to a new level- a cult, brain damaging radiation, a total ego death - just to take the edge off. take off that damn wedding ring

[juniemunie]

was playing deltarune and thinking about sansnomaly,,,

rip kris having to deal with this delulu

[beartitled]

Where’s the true Roman? Is he okey? (Referring to the doppelgänger comic with extra hands and Lois)

(This is a reference to 👉this comic👈)

Oh he’s chillin

The man never had a better vacation really

[cocopudu]

deadlines incoming ‼️📃📤

[tennessoui]

wait lol au where post-war, the jedi order does a date auction a la every cliche ever where they auction off a date night with one of their jedi generals. it's supposed to raise credits for various post-war charities as well as stoke good feelings about the order (the smear campaign was pretty effective, even if sidious died before the genocide bit)

obviously both the hero with no fear and the negotiator are put on the metaphorical chopping block. anakin is a Good Husband™️ so he clears this with Padmé first, and she laughs and agrees and wishes him luck in surviving the hoards of fans that desire him carnally. she says as a senator, she will be expected to attend and maybe even bid. they both agree that it would be way too obvious for their super secret marriage if she bids on anakin, and anakin asks her to bid on obi-wan in a spur of the moment thing.

it's just. obi-wan was really hurt aboard the invisible hand and then he was hurt again when fighting with grievous. and is anyone vetting these random people who will get to go on a date with the jedi? anyone could win!! a disgruntled separatist could win obi-wan's attention for a night and then take him on a date and then kill him!!!! under anakin's very nose!!!

anakin actually gets like. super concerned about this possibility. like super concerned. he gets padmé to promise that she will bid however much it takes to win obi-wan's hand (she is after all generationally wealthy) and she agrees because she loves him and then also follows through because she's a woman of her word.

anakin gets bid on by several people, one woman wins, it's whatever, anakin doesn't care. what anakin cares about is making sure he and this person can go to the same restaurant as obi-wan and padmé. just like. to make sure obi-wan is alright. he was looking quite flushed during the bidding? anakin is Concerned.

and anakin's poor date, who paid millions of credits for his attention, has to deal with an anakin who is obsessed with what's happening a table over and why are they laughing and are their knees touching beneath the table and maybe anakin should go over and like? break it up? his master is obviously a bit uncomfortable in all this candlelight. he looks beautiful, obviously, but he's clearly uncomfortable and he would feel better if anakin were there. obviously.

and anakin's poor date ALSO has to deal with meeting obi-wan kenobi after/during dinner because anakin can't keep in his lane, and general kenobi is downright hostile and cold to her because he's feeling incredibly overprotective at the thought of anakin having to spend time with some woman who bought him. as if he were a slave again.

[raainstorms]

Karen Page Appreciation Sad Moments (1/3)

[aplaceforyourhearttorest]

from everlong to everwrong

[a-very-sparkly-nerd]

man odysseus was already having auditory hallucinations of penelope in thunder bringer so polites ABSOLUTELY should've gotten ANOTHER open arms reprise bc we will scream and faint and die in pain every single time