#his perfectionism in particular is Very Relatable

[cj-the-random-artist]

Hey y'all I'm trying to cure my perfectionism and refresh my brain to make stuff generally so have some mid quality Leshycat doodles because I was thinking about them this week I also have some bonus thoughts about these two but I'm gonna put it under the cut so that this post doesn't become too long:

I don't remember what I talked about in my last Leshycat post, but I've had some more thoughts about them that I want to throw out there. First and foremost, Annamer is technically in charge of both the farm and the medicinal garden (which are technically two different things in my AU, since Kallamar is very particular about that stuff), and though they are mostly just... in charge of keeping the farmers / gardeners on task, they also just really like being in the dirt and actually doing stuff so they do a lot of personally working in the farms. If we're getting technical, Leshy is arguably a better gardener, given he has a few thousand years more of experience, but he eventually took a bartending job over the farming job because he wanted something fresh to do. Also he and Annamer had to be separated after they first entered their romantic relationship cuz they kept sneaking off during the workday to... snuggle. Let's go with that. I also feel strongly that they can both pick each other up, just because I think it's funny.

I do think previously I mentioned both Leshy and Annamer being grey / demi aroaces, thus Leshy is completely blindsided by his crush on Annamer since it's been so long since he's had one, which is the vibe I wanted to give off with the teensy little mini comic there. Idk how well it comes across but that's what I was going for lol

Tbh most of what I ended up doing with these was trying to solidify Annamer's design, I've been thinking for a while that the jester costume just... doesn't really vibe with the way I imagine them in the AU? So I wanted to give him some warm weather farming clothes.

Also tangentially related I wanted to change up the way I've been doing lineart lately, I feel like it was... better a year ago, and I wanted to try going back to that thicker / chunkier and more varied lineart I was doing previously, and honestly I'm here for it, I think it looks more interesting than what I've been doing lately, and it just feels more fun to draw, too.

Anyways. Enjoy my rambles and these ridiculous silly strange doodles and have a good day <3

[inamindfarfaraway]

Eldest daughter syndrome is specifically about the intersectional stress of being both an older sibling and female. It’s not called ‘eldest child syndrome’ for a reason. Girls are already put under more pressure to be mature, responsible, helpful, nurturing, kind, supportive, emotionally intelligent, diplomatic, polite, composed and respectable regardless of birth order; they are often seen as growing up faster than boys and held to higher standards. Parents will (even subconsciously) assume that they can handle more chores and emotional labour. Being an older sibling - typically raised with higher expectations as a role model and caretaker for their younger siblings - compounds all of that. The overlap is where the anxiety, parentification, perfectionism and overachieving of eldest daughter syndrome arise. Even in families where the firstborn girl has one or more older brothers, those brothers frequently aren’t assigned as much responsibility and are allowed to be immature for longer by default. They can choose to take on that level of care! They may have it forced upon them by particular parents or circumstances! But that’s not the same as the cultural phenomenon resulting from how deeply ingrained misogyny interacts with family dynamics.

All this to say: Dick Grayson does not have eldest daughter syndrome. He can’t.

Yes, he has an excessive sense of responsibility. Yes, he has a guilt complex about protecting his family. Yes, he has many issues related to his siblings. But he has never experienced the stress of being a daughter or sister. It’s not like gender isn’t important to his character and he thinks of himself in androgynous terms. He strongly identifies as a son and brother. In fact, he didn’t become an older sibling until he was an adult, so it didn’t affect his childhood and adolescent development (and thus his fundamental sense of self) at all. He didn’t take on a pseudo-parental role with any of his siblings until and except Damian. According to canon, he didn’t spend much time with pre-death Jason. And he still hasn’t bonded very much with Cass.

Cass doesn’t really qualify for eldest daughter syndrome either. Oh, she’s the ultimate perfectionist, grew up way too fast, feels responsible for protecting everyone and has probably the worst guilt complex in the Batfamily, but none of her issues ar due to her role as a big sister. They’re all about her personal traumatic backstory and identity as Cain, Babs, Bruce and Shiva’s daughter (in that order timeline-wise). Her parents have all hurt her, but they’ve never treated her like a parent for other kids. Like Dick, she was an only child until her late teens/adulthood. She integrated into the Batfam slowly, has barely interacted with Jason or Damian in canon and her notable younger brother relationships, with Tim and Duke, are equal and healthy. She and Tim bonded as friends first before she was adopted. She never has to act as a designated caretaker for her younger siblings, and feels responsible for them the same way she feels responsible for everyone else. They take care of each other, lacking the imbalance of the unofficial ‘disorder’.

But you know who actually does have eldest daughter syndrome? As a huge, integral, consistent part of her identity in comics canon? Who’s never known life without it?

SELINA KYLE. CATWOMAN.

Her first solo series, the story that established her post-Crisis origin story and redefined her character into who she’s been since 1989, revolved around her relationships with her younger sisters Maggie and Holly. It was literally called Her Sister’s Keeper. If you want to write about Dick, please do, and I commend you for giving his pain, struggles and complexities their due. But if you want to read or write about has eldest daughter syndrome, Selina is objectively the better choice.

[cilil]

Hi, do you have any advices for budding writers on AO3 or here?

Hey! :)

I've given this some thought and compiled what I hope might be some helpful pointers, but if there's anything else or anything specific you want to hear more about, feel free to ask again. Also I'm assuming this is about the amazing craft of fanfic and not, uh, building a platform or whatever (I wouldn't be very helpful with that, I'm a nobody x)).

Share what you feel comfortable sharing.

So since you're asking about budding writers on AO3 and Tumblr, I take it you're at a point where you feel comfortable sharing your writing online, which is amazing. Nevertheless, I feel the need to once again mention (just for anyone who may be in the same or a similar situation) that it's completely alright not to be comfortable with it (yet) or not to share everything you write. I share almost everything simply because I'm annoying and it makes me feel accomplished and since I've grown pretty comfortable with it, I might as well; but not everyone feels that way and feelings also change. It's completely alright to write just for yourself or a small circle of friends.

Don't worry too much about "being good".

I will be the first to admit that I deeply relate to struggling with perfectionism when it comes to writing (and other creative pursuits). However, as someone who's been reading fic for many years, tends to be into quite niche and obscure things sometimes and is rarely spoiled by big fandoms' abundance of food, I want all writers, especially new ones, to know that you don't have to write the most amazing, perfect, publishing-ready pieces. What matters is your passion and creativity, which will show in your writing regardless of skill level. Not to mention that fic is free and in fact a tool for many to experiment.

That's not to say you can't strive to improve or be good - by all means, I find it admirable if you want to hone your craft and make progress as you continue to write. Just don't let perfectionism ruin your fun and stifle your creativity.

How to get better without trying overly hard.

Aside from just writing, writing and writing (that is the most important part though), how do you improve without making it a point to do so? Well, if it works for you to read/watch guides or you enjoy specific writing exercises, that's great, but one thing that I find gets overlooked a lot in writing spaces is simply: Reading. Just reading for fun.

I find that I often discover little things in other people's writing that I really like and then I think to myself "wow, that's really neat how they did that, maybe I could take a page out of their book" (pun intended) and make it a point to pay attention to these things when I write. Essentially, it's like creating a nice patchwork blanket which is your style, made up of your own voice and preferences as a writer and cool stuff you picked up on the road.

Let me just name some examples, which, yes, are also an excuse to shamelessly blow some writer friends of mine a well-deserved kiss of appreciation. @sauron-kraut writes incredibly polished short stories with beautiful wording and atmosphere that have a lot of little hidden things to discover and dissect, and I want to steal her ability to set the stage and hide those easter eggs. @a-world-of-whimsy-5 is an absolute legend when it comes to writing medieval and medieval-adjacent stuff, and I learned so much from her fics. @i-did-not-mean-to has a way of writing with such esprit and wit that I always end up in a good mood after, a style of narrative voice I've adored for over a decade, and I've greatly improved my humorous writing in particular thanks to her. @crackinthecup has the marvelous ability to craft extremely emotionally evocative scenes, which have encouraged me to be more courageous and experimental in my sentence melody and structure. @tragedybunny has a way of writing that reminds me of coming home to a warm and comfy place, and I will find out how she did it and how I can do it as well.

So as you can see, it can be super helpful to compare notes with your fellow writers. Never be discouraged by someone else's ability; instead learn and expand your own.

Feedback, criticism and community.

Let me just get one thing out of the way: You don't have to take criticism from everyone. Or at all. As far as I understand, the fanfic community has come to to agree that we're doing this for fun and don't give criticism unprompted/when we aren't sure it's wanted or welcome. As a general rule: Take criticism from those you would also seek advice from. Ask for feedback if you feel comfortable, and if not, that's a valid boundary to have and I will gently smack anyone who presumes to pick apart writing that was made for fun and generously shared with the community for free.

The community aspect, however, should be taken into account on other fronts. While I won't tell anyone they have to interact and believe that, in an ideal world, everyone's writing would just speak for itself, it is helpful to engage with the community. Things you can do (both on Tumblr and AO3 if also applicable/possible) include: Respond to people interacting with your works, interacting with other people's works (for example while you're doing your reading sessions and looking at other writers' styles) and just overall being present, being talkative, going with the flow.

Again, this is not a must. But I will say that pretty much all of us want positive responses and interactions on their work and that just won't work if you expect everyone to show up for you all the time and never show up for anyone else. Engagement, passion and community are our "currency" in the absence of money and reciprocity is an important element of that. A lot of friction and complaints in the fanfic community regarding lack of interaction or entitlement are rooted in misunderstandings of this fundamental principle.

But don't take this in a cynical manner. Seek out what you enjoy, share the joy and passion and you'll make friends just accidentally - which is the part that I find makes fandom on AO3 and Tumblr so much fun! (I don't even want to be a "traditional" author anymore, I want this instead😁)

Find your groove and groove along.

Lastly, make sure your writing is fun for you or else it'll become a chore and eventually get ruined for you as a hobby. This is unfortunately a continuous task as your needs and interests shift - for example you might be in the mood to do an entire drabble challenge one month and during another month you feel so drained that you couldn't do another one. Or you might want to write something different for a change. Or whatever it may be.

Either way, one recent lesson I've learned is that I got too tied up in obligations and it left no space for spontaneous inspiration, so I never got to write what I wanted to write in the moment and it pushed me quite close to burnout. Do yourself a favor and always hold that space for yourself. In practice, this could for example mean that you do one event and on the side write this cool new idea you had, instead of doing three events - which is fun and games until it starts getting too much and you don't have time for your passion projects.

Finding your groove also includes the whole technical aspect, such as which writing programs you use, which device (or none at all), where you write, how to make yourself comfortable, how to get in the right headspace for things. I would also like to encourage all of you to be a bit crazy and whimsical about this: For example I've gone to the perfume store, picked out a scent for a specific character in a specific scene and sniffed it while writing the description several times now. Do what it takes. And say goodbye to your squeaky clean search history - you will research some weird stuff just to get that one line right.

So yeah, these are just my random thoughts on fic writing and what has been helpful in order for me to have lots of fun with this hobby. Happy writing!

[comiccare]

Honestly as someone else with OCD I agree that Kittycorn is being extemely irresponsible. I've seen others vent about feeling like they have to ''test'' themself to see if their intrusive thoughts are true (ex: forcing themself to think about theit triggers to see if they ''enjoy'' it). Hell, one of the OCD themes I have is where I get intrusive thoughts about if I care about my hobbies all the time and then I try to test if I still like them lol. (I say lol but its agonizing even imagining not caring about the stuff I love most 😭)

The fact that Kittycorn is glorifying Sly falling into indulging her compulssions and eventually giving in to them is so disgusting. And it's such a waste, because if this wasn't a incest glorification story and if Sly wasn't based on a IRL abuser, a character struggling with more taboo, violent intrusive thoughts and getting help for them could help people with actual harm related OCD themes feel seen and spread awareness of what OCD actually is, as opposed to the mocked, warped version contamination/perfectionism OCD most characters have.

My girlfriend has relationship/religious ocd and questions her sexuality a lot (she’s bi and I’m lesbian) so sometimes she would test herself by asking herself if she actually liked women! It’s a very real thing and I hate how it’s become an adjective for “wanting to clean”

Sly actually dating his sister and having…. “Those Interests” means he’s indulging in it, it’s no longer irrational thinking or impulsivity, it stops being ocd’s fault at that point.

Also Polly has ocd, he’s going to be very particular on how to house is set up, but he will also have irrational thoughts as well!! I think it would help if sly had someone that understands!

Once again I don’t have ocd so my gf helped me with this response! I really hope I can do it justice!! Thank you so much for sharing because I know dealing with that is very hard!!

[fluffydeoxys]

hi guess who's back again after reading your reply and also full of so many tears, like oh my god i can fill an entire lake?

ANYWAYS. yes. slight serious note- i do want to say that stories always take time to develop- first drafts are not something that everyone is proud of, ask any writer ever. seeing how you developed Zero and turned her into a character that you enjoy was very nice to see, AND I DO SEE THAT LITTLE NOTE ABOUT ZERO NOT BEING INTERESTING ON HER OWN. ARE WE LYING NOW? YOU LIAR? Zero is a character who stands GREAT on their own too. do not be mean to him, she means the world to me.

both the silhouette and overall vision you have created for Zero is the most interesting thing for me to look at all of the time because it's accurate- it makes sense, and GOD does that make my brain in particular very happy and silly and go "yippie yippie yippie". you are very careful about the details you jot down- which is likely a result of your perfectionism, but that shouldn't be overlooked. you care a lot about your story and the characters involved; not just Zero, but also the canon characters and how they intertwine with one another. its very admirable and should be appreciated.

sorry if this is like. a lot. i totally get what you mean about struggling to figure out details in stories and finding it hard to jot certain things down or work on other parts of the story. i personally like calling that the Writer Haze™, but regardless. what you have is very good, do not give up on it. but also give yourself a break if you need it !

- yours truly, 💀

Aw .. man seriously again, thank you. I know I'm repeating myself a bit ad nauseam here, but it seriously means a lot to me. As a person who struggles with self-worth and really wants to be or make something that means something to someone, it helps.

(Putting a line break because I ramble a fair bit. image above it though, as I think this is interesting enough)

That is very true! I think I have very unrealistic expectations of myself, especially considering I've never made a long-form character or concept, nor have I been truly invested in something so deeply or thoroughly before. It's a bit pathetic, but I guess I want to tell a story or show a character that people really like and find cool (not just a surface level thing, a thing with nuance and depth, something seriously compelling that makes someone think about things, feel something, connect with it) without all the.. me fumbling and failing through various drafts, haha. I'm not sure how I want to be perceived. I get nervous and then frustrated at myself for being so prone to emotion.

Eheh, sorry, self-deprecation is something of a bad habit that still kicks around in my head. I do think it's still somewhat true in the sense that Zero is decidedly not protagonist material, or if you had a story centring on her, I don't really know how it'd be interesting. He's more interesting (said hesitantly) when paired with other characters, because his strange, off-putting but gentle demeanour contrasts against the Madcom cast in various ways. But if the limelight was on them for too long, I think the story falls apart, to be honest. I would like this to be different, but it's a feeling I've never really been able to shake. I dooo think that maybe they could be an interesting focal point of an animation, though, for a few reasons. So I think that's something?

Thank you!! Really, I'm very glad to hear that because that's kind of what I aim for the most: coherence, next to it being interesting. I did the above image yesterday to better articulate some thoughts on Zero and like. I guess a visualisation of my process and how things end up forming a web of relations. Doesn't summarise or cover everything, but at least it's pretty apt!

I try to put a lot of effort and concern and thought into how the world, Nevada, is. I want Zero to feel, act and think like a character who could potentially, feasibly be canon, and be interesting. I try to consider and think about the interesting worldbuilding elements that Madcom has and try to play off them to create something interesting. Most of my interest centres around large "meta"-ish ideas like S3LF, narrative/fate, the Nowhere and the Other Place.

Hence why Zero is involved in many of these ideas. There are limitations, boundaries, and they can be pushed, pulled and broken in interesting ways.

I'm really glad that you enjoy what I've made for canon characters as well! I admit I feel like I neglect them more in favour of my own selfish fixations but I am happy and proud of what I have made so far. There's a certain uniquely satisfying feeling that comes from linking everything together into one big picture with many interlocking parts. Many pieces and things go back and forth between my Doc, Sanford and Deimos headcanons that make them feel almost 'alive' to me.

Many of my favourite stories/games masterfully intertwine the broad strokes of narrative themes with individual-scale writing and character interactions, relationships and worldbuilding, which has influenced what I like and how I think. Disco Elysium and Outer Wilds are my two biggest favourites. UTDR and Hollow Knight also shine through for me.

But well, my prattling aside. You're not being too much at all, it's very touching and kind and I sincerely appreciate the time, effort and thought you went to to think of me and my work. Hearing about how people think, feel and get inspired by what I do is a reason why I make things. What you've said is appreciated and treasured by me.

Thank you, for once this is something I genuinely don't want to give up on, and I want to see it through to the end, and beyond. I generally take breaks by focusing on other aspects, writing something different, or working on another character and I find that tends to work for me. Still a few unanswered questions for Zero but I'll get there, I hope. I just need to keep going.

I really appreciate your time and kindness once again, it means more than I could really put into words. You've been very kind and sweet to me, thank you <3 I hope you are having a nice day!

I'll put some zoomed in versions of the image here cus I think tumblr kinda scrunches up the quality. and my handwriting is. yeah. lawl

[yellowcry]

All of you song analysis

I said I was doing this, right?

First. I often heard people saying that Mirabel encouraging everyone to start rebuilding is a symbol of her having leader skills. Which I think isn't accurate. One of the things people ignore is context. Mirabel talked with her sisters and Abuela. It gave her more understanding of their struggles. Of why they all were victims in different way. That it was way more complex than just "Abuela is bad, we are suffering" To say Mirabel did encourage them, you have to ask a question. Wouldn't anybody else do the same in Mirabel's place? I think they would. In a different way sure, but person who had context would still be more open in trying to help. You need to asknowledge how the amount of information and points of viem gave Mirabel wider amount of the family situation.

Then comes another fact. Mirabel didn't start rebuilding either. Her entire talk was about her family specifically. Saying that everything will be fine and they will get through it. Mirabel's first verse is about the family solely, it doesn't touch anything related to rebuilding. She says look at this home, not at the house. And while they can be used as synonyms, Mirabel is clearly referring to her family. And how the toxic foundation of perfectionism and expectations was discovered and ruined. Not only that, but Mirabel actually STOPS Luisa from working. Not in a sense of "You shouldn't work" but in "You don't have to do this". Showing that they don't have to relate on family roles. As Luisa moving things was definitely caused by her gift and role that came with it. "You more than just your gift" is referring to everyone. But it was said to Luisa specifically, as a way to say that she doesn't have to be the strong one anymore.

There is no chance a teenager would be in charge of rebuilding. We're talking about a giant house. You need at least some form of qualification/a lot of knowledge that Mirabel clearly doesn't have. We know in fact that there's at least two Madrigals who has an expirience in building. Alma who helps with building a house in the beginning and observes how it's being made. And Luisa, while not mentioning anything before AOY in the movie, is being asked to repave the plaza in TOTS book. Which caused "AGAIN?" reaction, while it's not a house building, it's as close as we can get. And it is very likely she had at least some experience with building things too. Taking her gift Luisa had a good chance to build things earlier. And it's not even mentioning how she was the one to move debris first. Oh, and then we have Bruno who was patching the cracks.

Okay, I'm over with my "Mirabel didn't start rebuilding" agenda. Probably.

The songs starts with Mira assuring her family that everything is fine and they'll get thought it, no matter how bad it looks. "It may seem hopeless, but we'll get it by just fine." Not being loud and pushy, but way sublte and understanding. She doesn't say everything is fine right now, but that they'll get better together. She also asknowledge how her family isn't set in stone. Saying that constellation shifts she days that her family is changing too. In reaction to what happens around them.

Abuela also doesn't mention rebuilding. Instead, she prioritizes what she should had all along. Her family. "I'm sorry I hold on too tight" can mean many things. From Alma being controlling towards her family. But it also can hugely relate to how Alma held onto the miracle, magic and roles that came with it. Forcing her family to fall into a dysfunction. Confirming her fear of losing anyone ever again how she did with Pedro to the rest of her family. She is also the first to say that her family is special to nobody in particular unlike Mirabel. Confirming that they are miracle and not some magic. And also introducing Bruno(who was previously roasted for his gift) to the rest of the family.

Also an interesting fact that Bruno had probably heard his song. As his first action is to apologize to Pepa for something that happened years prior his departure. For one specific incident that was mentioned just recently. Which makes me wonder if he would've apologize to Isabela and Dolores too if he wasn't interrupted. Also showing that Bruno can take the blame and apologize when he had upset someone. And, he's also shown to work with the townspeople that blamed him during WDTAB. Which means he's either cleared things up with them like with Pepa or they weren't that pissed off all along. (Probably both)

The townspeople are being the ones who had actually start rebuilding. While not saying anything about it, the tools and their amount makes it clear. Firstly, it shows how grateful they are for all the service that was done to them in years ("We'll do anything for you!") And also being the second mention of actually working on Casita after Luisa. And also showing the family that they aren't alone in their trouble. Which is a good continue of Mirabel assuring that they'll get through it and Alma saying that they are all important even without their gifts.

The moment between three sisters shows that Isabela is the most talkative and outgoing out of three now that she doesn't hide who she really is. Being the first to start their united chorus and talk the most during it. "It's a dream when we work as a team" is a good showing that neither of them weren't close before. Being close was something they all could only dream of prior the thing. "Yeah, but sometimes I cry." can tell us that Luisa wasn't open with her emotions prior the movie and didn't collapse in tears before. As there would be no need to say that otherwise. "I might be not as strong but I'm getting wiser" tells how the family is growing up, realizing why the thing were bad before and how they need to change themselves and everyone. Isabela, again, reminds that she (and therefore the rest of the family) can do amazing things even without a gift. What interesting is that Mirabel doesn't have her personal lyrics but only sings with Isabela and the three older girls during the chorus. Showing how she's a huge listener and a support for them.

The verse with Julieta and Mirabel is very interesting. First, it shows how similar they are. Julieta was the one to heal physical injuries and Mirabel's actions were a start for the family's mental healing. "Starts don't shine, they burn" is being repeated. Which possibly tells us Julieta had learn about everyone's problems too. (Remember how I said about context that only Mirabel had?) And now knows how everyone was struggling too. "The constellation glows" says that the family is still wonderful, gifts or no gifts. Which took them some time to figure out, ("The season change in turn")

Doloriano verse shows how talkative and social Dolores can actually be if she's comfortable. Just look at her! The girl is so excited she can't shut for a second. But also patient and not as swift as Isabela (Who had embraced her new powers in WECID very fast). And we also see that Isabela and Dolores have a good relationship again! As Isabela is the one supporting Dolores with Mirabel. "Yes!" couldn't be happiness from getting out of marriage, as it would logically be broken by that time already. Isabela is genially happy for Dolores finally getting her boyfriend. Another interesting moment is how fast Mariano jumps onto Dolores. Almost instantly suggesting marriage. Which may hindsight that he loved Dolores' all along at least to some extent. (And, convindering how he always goes to help her in the books first, It can actually be the case)

We're getting to the emotional end!

"Home, sweet home. I like the new foundation." is a reprise of the first line of the song. Again, it seem like she's talking about Casita. (And it's actually very likely this time). But it also tells how the new family, who has grown up so much and healed is a far better foundation to a healthy dynamic. While still being imperfect. Which is okay. The Madrigals accept their flaws and how impossible the perfection is in reality.

The doorknob moment is vey important for one reason. Touching it is what gave them Magic. What made them "A Madrigal." And even if they don't have gifts now, it made Mirabel finally asknowledge herself as a part of the family. As one of the mighty Madrigals. It was the way the family told her. "You're one of us too. You're special the way we are."

And oh gosh, the lyrics! "We see how bright you burn." Is another the warm family referring to how starts burn according to Mirabel's own words. Again, also telling her how important she is, how she is special just like the rest of the family. Which, if you think of it, is very powerful. As they refer to the way Mira encouraged them. "We see how brave you've been!" says how much Mirabel had done to her family and how they appreciate it. Which is sung by both of her sisters, who were previously supported by her. "Now see yourself in turn" is a direct continuation. With family returning the favour and showing support that Mirabel needed so much. She showed them how important they are even without their gifts. Now they are showing how important she is. Gift or no gift. Telling her how she's the part of the family all along.

"Abre tus ojos." hits so hard. It was the first line in the movie. When Alma was shown to be very sweet with a toddler Mirabel prior her ceremony. And now returning back to this. Showing how better they are now, and how Alma appreciates Mirabel. Even without a gift.

And, oh, God! "I see me. All of me." Should I even tell anything. First, Mirabel finally asknowledge who she is. That she is loved, that she is special just like the rest of her family. This time for real. The whole song had repeatedly told us that everyone is special. (All of you). But the last words of it is MIRABEL saying "All of me." finally looking inside herself. It's not about the whole wide family anymore. It's about the only person who might've needed to hear it the most for years. Mirabel supported them all during the way, and now they are supporting her. And Mirabel gets a chance to see herself, the same way everyone else did, thanks to her. I will never tell enough of how symbolic/sweet it it. She doesn't need a gift, she doesn't need a magic role to be special for who is she just like the rest of her family

[thesophistiicate]

I really enjoy reading your posts and especially the amazing advice you give people in your asks.

I am engaged with a wonderful man, who takes great care of me, romantically and financially. I have no complaints about our relationship, Ive been treated like a queen every step of the way. The problem is Ive let myself go in all areas during the time weve been together. Ive gained a crazy amount of weight, stopped taking care of myself, Ive lost a lot of my huge vocabulary that I used to be so proud of, my sharp wit. In general it seems Ive lost my manners, my class and myself. I come from a family where manners, wits and talents where my parents main focus, so I used to be very polished and very well read. I got hit with severe depression during covid, and it seems that let to my lack of disciplin and self respect.

I truly wanna change. He deserves a woman who is genuinely levelling up with him, who takes care of herself. Like the one I was when he met me.I deserve to be proud of myself, and I deserve to treat myself with respect and care.

I just feel so ambivalent when it comes to changing myself so much around him. Maybe because Im already insecure about the whole thing, find it embarrassing if he notice me struggling with my self-esteem. Ive always been the type who would learn new skills or change my looks in secret, so that no one would interrupt me, make fun of me or get me away from my progress.

How would you advice me to handle the conversation if he asks me why Im changing so much? How do I work around my embarrassment of being caught in the process of learning? Any advice on how to keep my journey a secret/less obvious?

We live together, so he would for sure notice me changing habits, try new looks etc. He would probably be supportive, but also defaulting to telling me that he loves me, and that I am perfect as I am rn etc.

i actually relate to a lot of this! your relationship sounds a lot like mine, and like many people i feel i really lost myself in Covid but also during my pregnancy (it was difficult) and then navigating discovering myself again after 5 years of feeling a bit lost… 🤍

i suppose what springs to mind for me reading your story is that this is a wonderful opportunity to discover what it’s like to be seen and supported and loved through effort and change. i’m really private too and i had to learn to become comfortable with my partner “knowing” what i’m doing.

i think it can stem from perfectionism as well, this pressure women in particular feel, to always be the polished end result but to hide away the process, even feel ashamed of it, embarrassed by it. (and extra embarrassed because to start again would be to admit we failed in the past.) we have to try so hard yet aren’t supposed to let anyone else see… it’s supposed to seem effortless. and we don’t want anyone to know in case our result is imperfect, or we are seen struggling, or whatever. it is a part of why women’s work is minimised and mocked and judged overall. so i think it’s important to push past that, to let it be seen and to take pride in it. you are undertaking a powerful, important, life changing journey and there is so much power in allowing that to be seen by somebody who you love and trust.

I’ll tell you about my partner, not to brag but to give a sense of what it may be like to push past your fear… he of course always says he loves me as i am, no matter what and no matter what might change. he loved me when we met and i was heavier and very unfit and chronically stressed out from work. i was his dream girl even then. but i was actually kind of… surprised? yet not? that in the past few years of me turning things around, he’s actually been really encouraging and interested. instead of a “why bother, i like you as you are�� attitude (which would actually be insulting, as though i live for his approval lol), he talks about how inspiring (and sexy!) he finds my effort, how much he admires my self discipline, how great my results are, that i carry myself noticeably differently and seem so much happier. he buys me flowers when i hit milestones. celebrates with me when i achieve a new goal. none of it feels invasive or over the top, just gently supportive.

i did sort of start on my own without really discussing it, but he noticed. and that led to the opportunity for me to talk more openly about how i’d been feeling, about how this is a fresh start. i wonder too if you are worried to be noticed because you’re worried about whether you can stick to it? and it might bring up feelings of shame to be seen trying and “failing”? in which case lots of compassion, flexibility, and gentle self care will help. no need for strict new routines and overhauling every habit. just start small with little changes, let it build with time. it took me almost a year of false starts before i managed to stick to my exercise routine!

overall by being open and allowing him to support me, i’ve found it so easy to stick to my goals and our relationship also feels stronger than ever, too. he already loves me so the idea that everything he loves about me is only getting better is exciting to him i think. i think you are at the beginning of a wonderful new chapter and it will take some courage, but everything worth doing does 🤍

[radiomogai]

hi, i think you're very cool & love your work. thank you for doing it & for your dedication to it. do you have any favorite terms/term types from over the years?

Thank you, that is kind of you and we very much appreciate it.

We do, yes. Our special interest is MOGAI overall, but there are some aspects of it which particularly catch our interest. We are very interested in what we call meta terminology, out of a lack of a better term. These are the macrolabels of microlabels, the terminology that is used for discussion alongside and/or rather than self-labelling, the umbrella terms. MOGAI theory as well, we are endlessly fascinated by how people understand microlabels, how people understand MOGAI, how people visualize the relationships between identities. We have a deep love for gender qualities, despite our years-long and continuing struggle with finding the words to talk about them, and this expands into a deep love for gender natures, neogender umbrellas, gendered referential language, gendered presentations (especially those which are associated with a neogender quality), and alignments. We have a particular love for types of attraction, and even more so for relationships centered around fragarian types of attraction. We love gender modalities, and we have been meaning for some time to make a post explaining them as there are many misconceptions (transmasculine, for example, is not a modality, nor is cismasculine. The modalities here are trans- and cis-).

We love outherinity. We love maverinity. We are always looking for terms and flags and whatnot related to persodivergence, and we especially are excited whenever we find persodivergent archetypes and/or modifiers, such as histrones and bordaens, though they are sadly uncommonly coined. We regularly deep dive through Tumblr search and collection blogs for anything related to persodivergence, and we particularly love to find things related to HPD, OCPD, NPD, STPD, or PDNOS. We try to regularly look for terms related to schizophrenia, as well as terms related to addiction, as well as terms related to substances (especially cannabis). We try to regularly look for terms related to The Magnus Archives, SCP, Welcome to Night Vale, and The Mountain Goats.

We do at times struggle with a feeling that everyone else is doing things "wrong", especially when it is related to the sorts of terms I listed in the first section, as a result of several of our conditions. We have a sense of superiority and perfectionism, and it is unfortunately easy for us to get caught in this and to not think of the perspectives of others. This is something we are getting better at handling, and it is part of why we greatly enjoy finding discussion and/or experiences posts. We are very much in our own little world and we are entirely hypoempathetic, which means that even if we specifically try to think of what perspectives others may hold, we rarely can even think of them. Being able to read the thoughts of others combats this and allows us to better understand the world outside of our own mind. We have many posts we wish to make, discussing misconceptions, giving working definitions for terms that we often see misused (we do have the understanding that many people who are new to MOGAI, especially those who are not as deeply invested in it as we are, often learn terms such as gender system and xenopronoun not through definitions but through observation of their usage, with this observation at times unbeknownst to them being observations of misuse), but we lack spoons. We are unfortunately falling behind on work for radiomogai as it is. We can be protective over the sorts of terms that we are particularly enamoured by, but it is something we are working on.

This became more tangential and rambly than I had intended it to be.

[choko-flan]

Hiiiiii choko!! Still looking over ur progress every now and then!!! How are you doing? I hope you've been well ^^ I still remember first playing the velorem demo all those years ago lol.. I was travelling and downloaded a bunch of rpgmaker games to play and I loved yours in particular Would also be really cool if you started posting just the stuff you draw or your thoughts on whatever u wanna ramble about, idk if you use tumblr a lot tho, I like seeing that the creators i like are like, still alive and stuff you know? only if you want to though! Wishing you the best through whatever is going on right now!!! Signed: Olliver

Hello, apologizes for being super late replying to this been all over the place and haven't had time to fully write out a response. I'm really thankful you are still looking over my progress also always wanting to send me an ask, really means a lot. I've been doing alright like above been all over the place with dev work, hobbies, and taking classes to help with getting a job not related to game dev as this is a hobby (also the industry scares me), though at times I do struggle with imposter syndrome thinking I'm not good enough or smart enough but rn I feel confident in myself (I need to work on my hw...) ;v; means a lot you loved Verloren's demo, I really need to kick myself to work harder as I really want to put out a newer demo as the old one is a bit outdated. The newer one would be longer and have different mechanics which the original didn't have also I can show off my 2nd favorite character bc I need to give him screen time. Though that demo would probably happen when I make a ton of progress on the game like it's close to being done. Or maybe I just hold off and drop the whole game and everyone looks to me because I've change things. The main premise is the same just I changed things idk if anyone is interested I can ramble in a different post about the changes. I still care for the demo I posted in 2020, really want to get the game done so everyone can see the story and characters who been spinning in my head for 7ish years... I keep telling myself to stop hoarding what I'm doing but it's easy to say as I'm often going back hoarding bc perfectionism so here's a few things I've worked on: This isn't the 2nd fav but he's another character who wasn't in the demo, his name is Wally and would be another companion character who would help Chris with his journey. (very sketchy)

Been reworking the inspect system as you can see the thought bubble leaves after certain objects are gone, using thought bubbles to avoid a problem I always face in rpg maker games which is being confused what leads to progression so I often smack the character onto everything until I find the correct thing which triggers progression. Want to just make it clear what is decoration vs actual importance intractable objects.

(this isn't how this map will look I just through it together for testing purposes) This was posted on my Bluesky (X) which I will try to use semi more, I need to go back finishing this but was using a unrelated oc who isn't a character in the game to help me figure out the portrait style.

Was mainly influences by the style of these portraits, still need to go back to figure it out tho.

Tho I shall stop dev rambling as this wasn't an ask for any updates but just thought to share some things I've been doing.

Tbh I get worry about posting about non dev related things here, I did have a personal blog but I haven't used that one in years plus it was mainly to reblog stuff I liked. Worried it would feel like opening the floodgates as it would led to a lot of rambling like for example I'll just post a few things I've been doing on the side if anyone is interested (This is all going to jump around a bunch super sorry.) For starters I like Project Sekai mainly bc I am a vocal synth fan, I do have a lot of scores saved mainly full combos but I'll just post my current FC counter (there's songs I haven't played yet bc lazy)

The 8/27 is because that is Mizuki's birthday which I am a very normal Mizuki fan I only have a few of her 4 star cards and have somewhat tier <- 100% normal fan (don't speak to me about not getting the new year card...)

(yes I have a discord server to plan a year in advance which cards I'm saving for) I don't have a screenshot of the event itself but for her 1st mix event I got T1k (i've been here since the global beta testing before day 1. Tbh I knew of the game before global was announce)

I didn't tier for this one bc I am saving for E5 so this is my worst one.... (I should find people to help with E5 Mizuki) but I care for my dother <- owns 3 plushies and almost all the CDs with her commissions songs and has preorder the newest one on amiami She is just my silly who makes me happy ANYWAYS speaking of gacha games I got back into the hole which is HSR, I am behind in the plot but it's just been the game I open to stare at my wife who took a billion pulls to get then I close it. I love him...

Btw I am F2P I will never spend money on a gacha again looking back on my genshin days I wasted 90 bucks on a game i don't play anymore like it's been 3 or 4 years. I just often farm like crazy and save until the thing I really want is here. Moving away from Gacha but still on the topic of gaming, one of my friends they convince me to get into Retro Achievements which is a fun site to use when you are playing games to collect achievements. So far the sets I've done is Okage: Shadow King and Pokemon Channel.

There's other games I've been doing the sets for but I am a fool that picks games with 100+ achievements. Another thing that same friend above got me into is learning HTML and CSS so I have been working on a website on the side which you can see here: https://choko.neocities.org/ Really want to make a page for Verloren on it, feel that would be cute

RN it's very bare bones at the moment also not mobile friendly, I need to work on that. The only page which works at the moment is the about section but it's also a wip mess.

Do plan on getting a media diary page done as I've been keeping track of everything I've watched, played, or read. I needs some more work but at the moment it looks like this

Below is what it used to look like this but wasn't happy with it, like each entry having it's own clickable page rather having the person scroll to see them.

Umm I guess art idk we are jumping around, I've been stuck thinking about characters for a campaign which hasn't started yet. He is my silly (the dude who I was making pixel art above) I often spam my friends doodles of him bc he has become my favorite oc to draw and he's just a npc to my player character of the campaign.

One day I'll make a full drawing of him so then I can shove him into the faces of people. (I been working on a oc page on my site so if I get that up any info of him will be there also other ocs) I guess if any of these are interested I could start making post about this stuff more, super sorry that you asked something which turned into me full on rambling. I suppose this can be used as a test to see if anyone else would be interested. ^^b thank you again for sending an ask, I hope this wasn't like too much rambling. Will try to use tumblr more, I hope you are doing alright and best of wishes to you!!

[buttercup-art]

Hiiii its meeee :] Could you tell us a bit about Noa ? How did she meet Hugo ? I've been thinking about her latelyyyy... Also, does she have a reference sheet of some kind ? For no particular reasonnn (<- planning on drawing her)

AAAAHHH HI FRIEND!!!! <3 I’d love to tell you about her!!

Noa Elizabeth Simmons (She/Her) is a powerhouse in Hyperion, having climbed her way to her position as President of Weapons Development through many forms of deception, manipulation, and overall perfectionism. She's an expert when it comes to all things related to weapons, and is one hell of a shot (her job is more managerial, but she enjoys it when she actually gets to shoot stuff lol). Like many in Hyperion, she’s always looking for ways to reach the top, wanting that control and power for herself. She’s known for being confident and narcissistic, believing she’s better than everyone and being critical of others, especially their intelligence and/or fashion choices. Having been born on Eden-5 was a big cause of that, as she was raised in a very wealthy and influential family who constantly worried about their image and pushed her to be the best. Her parents were often emotionally distant and cold, which caused her to have issues with processing emotions and things of that nature (talking about her feelings makes her uncomfortable). She doesn’t trust people easily, and has a very difficult time getting close to people. Being vulnerable around others makes her uncomfortable, because it feels like they have some sort of power over her. She likes being the one in control. She’s also French, and frequently switches between speaking English and French (or the equivalent of those languages in that world lol).

She's also a very logical thinker, often listening to her brain first instead of her heart. Overthinking is a pretty much a normal process for her; it's only natural to extensively work through things in order to reach a rational conclusion. But when things don't have a clear answer (like love), that's when she gets stuck and ties herself in a metaphorical knot. She's in her head most of the time, and that ends up doing her more harm than good.

And despite her cold exterior and bitterness, she's actually a pretty sensitive and compassionate person, secretly needing companionship (although she always tries to convince herself that she doesn't and/or it's not a good idea). When she does take a liking to someone, she gives them special treatment (giving them gifts, bringing them along with her whenever she has to do business/finding reasons to see them, giving them advice about things, protecting them, etc). She is also a good listener, and will happily listen to someone rant or gossip to her about anything they want. Just as long as she likes that person. She might tell them to "casse-toi" (piss off) if she doesn't know them that well lol

Another thing about her is that she's a lover of the arts, often painting in her free time and visiting art galleries/exhibitions every now and then. She always makes an effort to dress stylishly, even when she's alone, and takes a lot of pride in her appearance. Flowers and tea are also something she really likes (and is VERY particular about the quality of tea she drinks and how it's brewed. She wants it to be done right).

As for how Noa met Hugo, I imagine she'd meet him when he accidentally walks in on her having a meeting with Henderson, wanting to talk with his boss about his (not so) upcoming promotion. When they see each other again later on, when Henderson isn't around, he ends up lying to her about how important he is and what position he has to try to give himself a bit of a social advantage (he thought she was also middle management). However, she knew right off the bat that he wasn't telling the truth at all, because it takes a liar to know a liar. She decided to play along anyway, letting him dig himself deeper and deeper so he would have more trouble trying to get out of those lies. For funsies. And also to sort of manipulate him into killing Henderson for her. And it works out for both of them, in a way. Noa has Henderson dead, and Hugo gets to back up his claims of being Senior Vice President while also catching her attention. Seems like a win-win to her.

And she does have a reference sheet!! I initially designed her to be a sort of antagonistic character and for her to look Hyperion (and she works for them and likes what she does, so yeah, she's a bad guy) She's a snake and I love her for it! <3

[renofmanyalts]

Fact for fact: Merces is an adequate cook if he is given clear instructions or a recipe to follow. If he is told to improvise... well, the result is edible but not very delicious (spices, how do they work?).

Fact for fact: Tell me a fact about your OC and I will respond with a semi-related fact about mine.

Prompt 4: Off the Hook

Who: Zhah'ra Savaptha and Merces Ninthstar (belongs to @ever-searching)

What: Extenuating circumstances leave Zhah'ra and Merces in charge of dinner.

Where: The Stray Inn, South Shroud

When: some time ago, in autumn, soon after the cold room had been installed

Content notes: food, obviously

Music: "Into the Light" by Off the Hook (Splatoon 2) (YouTube, lyrics, such as they are); bonus: "Soup Song" performed by Cisco Houston (YouTube, lyrics)

Zhah'ra stopped short in the doorway to the Stray Inn's kitchens, tail swaying uncertainly as he surveyed the bowls and baskets arrayed on the table. When Ulfric, the innkeeper, had been called away on an emergency, Zhah'ra hadn't thought twice about agreeing to help finish assembling dinner, especially when Ulfric had reassured him that it was all gathered together, and basically all he and Merces would need to do was cut up the ingredients and throw them in a pot. The broth was already simmering on the stove, even.

But this was... a lot of ingredients.

At least the things themselves were familiar enough. He recognized the unavoidable apples from the inn's orchard, and a few pumpkins with their ribbed green-and-orange skins. White beans sat soaking in a bowl. A double handful of celery stalks were arranged in a jar of water like the star's crunchiest flower arrangement. Beside them, a veritable mountain of some green, leafy something — two different green, leafy somethings? — stood heaped on a stack of towelling, still glistening with moisture. Lastly, there was a bundle of what Zhah'ra was pretty sure were leeks, with their thick, white stems and dark green tops. Maayan's exasperated recounting of too many bowls of the sandy, fibrous vegetables played in his mind.

It was just the two of them. The inn had no guests at the moment, and most of the residents were away. He glanced over the intimidating pile of produce, trying to imagine how it might fit together into a cohesive dish.

"Merces..." he said slowly, turning to look at his erstwhile brother-in-arms. "What would you say to having bread and butter for dinner?"

—

Zhah'ra can generally manage to competently get nourishment into himself, if not with very much flair. At this point in time, he had really only recently begun learning to cook, so he had little confidence in his skills when it came to making food others would find palatable.

On top of that, while he's not a strict carnivore, he does feel much better when his diet has higher proportions of meat and fish. He is... markedly unenthused about plain vegetable stew — especially after his stint in Rhalgr's Reach, where a pottage of greens was the usual fare from the communal cookpot. Ulfric's cooking typically circumvents this objection, but "having a bowl of delicious something placed in front of you" and "having to get there yourself from raw ingredients" are two very different propositions!

—

Apparently the perfectionism-busting exercise for me this year is being gentle about artificial deadlines. I started trying to write this soon after prompt 6 came out on Wednesday (i.e., right on schedule for my modified challenge), but I was struggling so much with my usual nonsense that I kept having to go rest. Maybe 2-3 prompt fills a week is too ambitious? (When I ask myself this, my immediate internal response is "well, yeah, that sounds like a lot?") I'm having fun, though! >:(

As an aside, the intended end point for all of those ingredients was pumpkin soup with leeks and white beans. I've never made this particular recipe, but I think it sounds delicious. (I have made this one, beans omitted, and it is.)

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I finally had the time to reread Jimin's interview for W Korea, as well as the on-set Q&A taken during the photoshoot.

I think that when it comes to an artist, such as Jimin or any other one in a similar position, it can be difficult to end up with a truly valuable interview, especially when it doesn't have a very specific purpose based on some recent work or release. For example, if one would release a solo album like J-Hope, then the interview would have a clear direction, focused on his music and the entire process of creation. Which is what his interview with W Korea actually turned up to be.

But then, what do you do with someone who is in between? Leaving behind and pressing pause on group activities and getting ready to release his own music, but he's not quite there yet. I found that most of the questions were concentrated on his wellbeing, mental state, as well as his work ethic and his obvious perfectionism. I also saw that Jimin is perhaps ready to let go of his obsession with his youth, by closing his 20s and getting ready for his 30s. I think that only now that process begins and it shows how much he has matured.

But apart from that, I think there were some missed opportunities here, not only on behalf of the interviewer, but also in Jimin's responses. And given than it was made through email exchange, it wouldn't have been that difficult. I noticed that Jimin has a particular way of creating his answers, a product of media training and perhaps a need to reveal enough to make the reader think they found out something new, when in fact it's not really the case. His answers are short, right to the point, without any free flow and letting his mind just take him in a natural progression. And all this is made through some vague, general statements, avoiding any details. He talks about the process of making his own album and how it's more difficult because he's on his own, but he doesn't elaborate on the specifics. At this point, it's a pattern.

But I also believe that the way questions are formulated has a direct impact on the type of answers received. For example, when Jimin mentioned he felt lost, the next question was perhaps too leading, offering immediately 3 options as reasons. It was too leading, instead of being open and letting Jimin reveal on his own thoughts on that topic. It was almost like he was given the easy way out on a topic which could be too revealing. Not that he wouldn't be able to avoid it all together, this was not live, but to me, it looked a bit constrictive.

I also noticed that the interview was taken from the perspective of having a conversation with idol/BTS member Jimin and regular person Jimin, and not as much with dancer Jimin (there was intention there, but cut off too soon, including with Jimin's answer about his childhood). If this was an opportunity to present Jimin on his own, talking more about his craft would have been a really great way of diving deeper into the actual specificity of his work, of his skills. He's a dancer who is barely asked questions, despite the fact that his performances are now considered memorable.

Ultimately, I appreciate that he's open about his vulnerabilities, although he is distancing himself from it, talking from his present about his past and how things are better. Which I hope it is. But then again, it's like a clinical response. And I don't blame him for it. Each of us has the right to talk about it depending on our boundaries. And given Jimin's position, what we know about him and how guarded he is, it makes sense. It was nice and comforting to see that he is surrounded by people who are there for him. That part of the interview really stuck with me.

As a last observation, related to regular and not superstar Jimin, I think this interview and the Q&A reflect how unglamorous he is and no hint of vanity in sight. That's something that I never sensed with him and the interview falls in that category as well. I think he's confident enough, without bragging at all. Jimin mastered the art of how to present and create and ideal image of a humble and loved idol and up until now, there's hasn't been anything in 10 years to contradict that. And choosing to end the interview by saying he's nothing but a guy in a tracksuit was the perfect closing line.

[theresistanceneverquits]

So this last week was OCD Awareness Week and it got me thinking about how in TMNT 2012, Donnie was “confirmed” to have obsessive-compulsive disorder. (A writer who worked on the show confirmed it.) However, as someone with OCD I have never related to Donnie, and I’ve recently been rewatching the series with this knowledge in mind and still have not seen any good evidence of representation from him.

However, I feel like a character that actually displays themes of OCD well is Leo. I will say that my view of Leo’s OCD-coding is more based on his mentality, as opposed to actually showing signs of rituals or anything. This is me acknowledging that in-canon he does not exhibit Actual signs of OCD (neither does Donnie), but rather that his mentality better reflects OCD than Donnie’s does, to the point where I’ve related to Leo at times because of these themes.

There are also aspects that overlap with Leo possibly having ptsd and/or depression in the series, but I am making this analysis to educate you about how OCD works regardless, as I feel there is still something to be learned from headcanons and theories when it comes to analysis. I will also analyze how Donnie’s traits that can be skewed to represent OCD actually better fit a diagnosis of autism, using research provided to me by some friends who are autistic.

Onto the analysis! Starting with Donnie, there were a few traits I was able to identify that could work as OCD. He’s neat and organized, dislikes change, and hyperfixates on his work. He also had that chart to help him ask out April, which shows his need for preparation. However, his chart was in preparation for the sake of a goal, whereas for OCD the “preparation” is like preparing for a tragedy that will never exist. And the chart is being used to avoid social conflict as opposed to his own internal anxiety. These traits are not caused by a need to satisfy intrusive thoughts and compulsions, but are rather how he processes his environment better. Donnie would feel frustrated, off-kilter, and overwhelmed if his routines were messed with. Leo attaches more of a moral weight to the actions in his routines.

So that brings me to how Donnie shows signs of being autistic. He tends to explain things and volunteer information when the situation doesn’t call for it, and especially during dire situations. An interesting parallel is how in Rise of the TMNT, Donnie is canonically autistic; in the Rise Movie Donnie says, “Data collection calms me down.” In the season 2 finale of 2012, Donnie tells Leo that oversharing and being technical is “how I deal with stress!”

Donnie also stims, such as often sticking out his tongue when he works. He is also very particular about the layout of his stuff in his lab, and shows great distress when someone (Mikey) messes with his stuff. He doesn’t want to feel out of control of his environment in his own workspace. He also tends to take things literally, such as when Raph said “Could we pick a more cliche way to get eaten?” sarcastically, and Donnie proceed to list off actual cliches to Raph’s annoyance.

Finally, Donnie sometimes experiences sensory discomfort. When Mikey spilled “greasy popcorn” all over Donnie, Donnie was enraged, noting the fact that it was greasy in particular. Additionally, at a point where all the Turtles get sprayed with monster guts, Donnie’s initial reaction is to ask for hand sanitizer. While washing your hands and being clean is a common OCD trait, Donnie’s concern here is with because of the texture and germs associated.

Leo’s turn!

Okay so before we get to how 2012 Leo is OCD-coded, I want to point out that Leo actually definitely has OCPD in every version except for Rise and you can fight me on that. “Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and control (with no room for flexibility) that ultimately slows or interferes with completing a task;” Leo is consistently portrayed as being a controlling perfectionist. Additionally, “OCPD is a personality disorder, which means it involves personality traits that are stable, long-held, atypical, and problematic in some way. In the case of OCPD, people with this condition may find it hard to relate to others, and their devotion to perfectionism and rigid control can make it difficult to function.” This is Leo to a T. Others around him get annoyed with these traits in him, and these traits make up many of his definitive personality traits across the franchise. This side note aside, we may move on to OCD.

I am reiterating here that my purpose is to show how Leo’s themes as a character and in his story reflect those of obsessive-compulsive disorder and am seeking to analyze and educate based on that. I am not arguing that he canonically has OCD. That being said, his themes align best with the subtype of moral scrupulosity OCD, which has people obsess over the morality of their thoughts and actions and often seek outside help to distinguish the truth.

Some basics of Leo’s character that fit OCD themes: he has several episodes of panic, recurring nightmares about his worst fears, he’s controlling and a perfectionist, and thinks something bad will happen if he isn’t at his best and puts all that pressure on himself alone. People with OCD tend to believe that bad things happen because of certain things that they do or don’t do, regardless of how accurate that belief is (it is not an accurate belief). They also can seem oddly controlling to others as they try to gauge certain no-no actions from those around them. Additionally, in “Fungus Humongous,” Leo says, “I face my fear every day.” OCD is run by fear and paranoia, and we too face our fears every day. Fun fact: I like to watch “Parisitica” and “Fungus Humongous” when I’m feeling low because of how relatable I find Leo’s struggles in them.

FINALE SPOILERS: Finally, a symptom of OCD includes “Aggressive or horrific thoughts about losing control and harming yourself or others,” which I feel parallels in Mutant Apocalypse, when Leo attacks his family in a crazed state. He becomes just like the Shredder at this moment; a direct contradiction to his worst fear of losing them. He becomes double mutated because he chose to save his family over himself.

Examining now how Leo’s struggles line up with the morality theme, it’s like his brain is giving him ultimatums and black and white statements about ‘ok you have to be THIS or else THIS will happen.’ In a smaller scale, he would rather do training “right” than quickly, like in that scene where Leo’s doing his katas slower than his brothers and he makes a jab at them for their ‘poor’ form.’ Another interesting example comes with how he is consistently obsessed with finding and helping Karai throughout the series. He feels an intense sense of responsibility about it, even in situations when it really seems out of their hands, either because of wacky circumstances or because of her own actions. He says he's doing it for Splinter, but Splinter has already reassured him several times that he doesn't NEED to. His obsession conflicts with the interests of literally his entire family; it’s a situation that is linked with his morality. Leo is a very kind person who sees the best in people and wants to help them. Karai is his sister and his father’s daughter; he takes it as his personal responsibility to save her—a savior complex born from this obsession.

Now I wanna talk about Leo’s fears and where he turns to deal with them. OCD thrives off of people “Doubting and having difficulty tolerating uncertainty.” The next few sections includes major spoilers for the season 4 finale as well as talk of Main Character Death, so feel free to skip this section. Season 4’s space arc and events taking place after “Requiem” show intense examples of this for Leo. While a part of his actions here are likely due to ptsd and/or depression, it also parallels well with how OCD works.

Leo often goes to his father for advice. However, in the space arc when he’s separated from Splinter and in season 5 when Splinter is dead, Leo still has a need to seek advice and validation from his father. It is a response of grief, but it’s also his way of feeling like he’s getting guidance in a time when he doesn’t trust himself. This is similar to the reassurance-seeking compulsion, where someone with OCD goes to an outside source to entertain whatever thoughts the OCD has come up with, instead of just letting those thoughts go. Leo talking with Splinter practically every day via hologram in the space arc is his coping mechanism during that time, but even his brothers view it as excessive. It’s as if it’s the only thing tethering him during that time where he has little stability.

Additionally, ruminating is seen in the form of Leo constantly focusing on Splinter’s death, both in the space arc and post-“Requiem.” “OCD obsessions are repeated, persistent and unwanted thoughts, urges or images that are intrusive and cause distress or anxiety;” in “Trans-Dimensional Turtles” in the space arc, Leo is talking with the past version of Splinter and sees a vision of him being stabbed by the Shredder. This flashback is presented as something he is constantly thinking and worried about; very little else consumes his thoughts. The ptsd overlap once again occurs here, but I am pointing out that it is this sort of rumination that people with OCD experience often.

Finally, people with OCD “may try to ignore or stop [their] obsessions, but that only increases [their] distress and anxiety.” In the space arc, Leo is slowly being put through it, until he snaps near the end of the arc, going off on a suicide mission alone when he thinks they’ve been led astray by Fugitoid. No one in his family brought up their concerns for his mental well-being to him, and when not surrounded by his family he expressed his doubts and fears. But most of the time for those 6 months Leo spent in denial, singularly focused on their mission to save Earth and Master Splinter. It wasn’t until that vision was seemingly put in jeopardy that he finally snapped and acted reckless to the point of nearly dying. Leo simultaneously indulged in his obsessions while consciously ignoring their existence while in the presence of others, and that led to him being in great distress.

2012 Donnie is not at all a representation of obsessive-compulsive disorder past being the “smart character,” but he is a good representation of autism, whether intentional or not. Leonardo, while not explicitly being a character with OCD, does carry similar themes that make for a relatable OCD-coded character.

Here’s my contribution to OCD Awareness Week. You are now Aware.

Special Thanks:

@/sailor_the_robot on Insta for practically co-writing this with me. Much of this essay includes direct quotes from her.

@phoenixquill-art for her help as well with Donnie’s analysis!

@mej2235 for beta reading :3

Sources:

[frostfall-matches]

[ matchmaking... ]

@ anon (🍓) : [ match report ready ]

your romantic match is…

✦ Vil Schoenheit

The intimidating, classy couple - independent, confident, and cool. The way you present yourselves to other people is rather similar on the surface, though of course each of you have your own facets under that front you put up for most people. You’re more reserved than Vil, so you’re more likely to pull back from the limelight when possible, but people still definitely regard you as a power couple whenever they see you out together. The way you hold yourself was one of the first things that Vil was attracted to; he has a decent eye for people, and little patience for incompetence. That you seemed sure of yourself and also not boastful was appealing to him.

You two are able to relate to each other in terms of being perfectionists and holding yourselves to high standards. Perfectionism is a double-edged sword, and both of you know that all too well - it is simultaneously a great strength and a great weakness. That being said, perfectionism is likely the main contributor to when one of you is feeling agitated, upset, or down. Thankfully, you two are able to easily empathize how the other is feeling and why they’re feeling that way - and you quickly figure out the best ways to comfort the other without coddling them too much.

You have the backbone to stand up to Vil if needed. He’s not the easiest to get along with, and he’s demanding when it comes to other people living up to his standards. It takes a particular type of person to get along well with him and deal with him when he’s being unreasonable. That being said, he doesn’t mind when you challenge him on things or butt heads. He doesn’t seem like the type to get along very well with someone who is very weak-willed and unable to advocate for themselves; he understands those types of people to an extent, but it is much more comfortable for him to be around people who are willing to value themselves and defend their perspectives.

Sometimes Vil might scold you if you’re tactless, similar to the way he scolds Epel for not presenting himself in a way that is professional. Your bluntness is great, sometimes - some people really need it in order to get the message. But other times, it might come off as tone deaf and inconsiderate. Vil knows you’re smart enough to find tactful ways of voicing your critiques or complaints, as well as evaluating the best way to speak to someone. He cringes internally if he’s ever around to witness you sticking your foot in your mouth and rubbing someone the wrong way when you didn’t mean to. Don’t take it too personally, though - he just wants people to see you in the best light possible, as you deserve.

He loves seeing the outfits you put together. He thinks your fashion aesthetic is classy and yet, with a unique spin on it. You’ve definitely made it your own, and he loves to see it! He would absolutely help you take pictures of your outfits for your friends or social media, if that’s something you like to do. And if he discovers that you’re okay with it, he would be the type to discreetly take candid photos here and there. You look nice, and he wants to capture moments where you’re looking and feeling good. Vil would also get a few pieces that resemble your style for himself - that way, some days he can match your style when you two go out together. It’s not hard, either, since he favors formal and elegant styles himself, and he can find pieces he likes that would fall into vintage fashion styles.

He quite enjoys how varied your interests and hobbies are. You’re well-read in the classics, but you’re also a big fan of contemporary series. Other than books, music and video games fall into your list of main interests, so you’re exposed to such a variety of mediums and ideas. On top of all that, you have a good sense for business and you like exploring those topics - which is not something most people can say. This all makes you seem like a well-rounded person to him. While Vil is pretty busy and has plenty of his own interests to focus on, he’d be happy to check out any recommendations you have for him when he has time. It all goes on a mental backlog, and sometimes you don’t even know he started reading or playing something until he brings up that he’s halfway through whatever it is and wants to talk about it.

Vil checks the boxes for traits in your preferred partners. Well, more or less, anyways - you specified someone gentle yet authoritative; he’s absolutely more on the authoritative side, and he really isn’t gentle when addressing his peers. However, he’s more vulnerable when it comes to interacting with his partner, once you break those walls down around him. He’s just a little more soft around the edges with you, more affectionate. He is also quick to pick things up, and hates feeling uninformed; even if his area of knowledge doesn’t line up with yours, he’s willing to put in the effort to research and understand things even if he doesn’t encounter those specific topics very often.

While you may hate unnecessary change, Vil would insist that there’s no growth if you don’t push yourself out of your comfort zone or if you don’t get varied experiences. He’d argue that the bare minimum amount of change isn’t enough to keep growing and learning as a person - but if you aren’t ready to take that step on your own, he’d help you. Yes, your independence and desire to carve your own way is admirable, it’s one of the things he loves about you, but rely on him a little bit here and there! He finds that he really likes it (although he should really listen to that advice himself - all too often he’s reluctant to accept help from others).

your platonic match is…

✦ Malleus Draconia

Your main bonding topic is your shared interest in old architecture and the stories that may surround old buildings. It’s not a common interest for most people - or, at the very least, it tends to be a pretty shallow interest for many people. So it makes him happy to have a conversation (and exploration) partner that is well-informed and open to discovering more. He’s such a well of knowledge when it comes to this stuff - and is happy to talk about places he’s seen in Briar Valley. If you’re interested, and you have the chance to get off of campus at all, he would love to show them to you so you can see these places personally!

Similarly, he’s glad to know that you don’t have trouble with stories and subjects that aren’t for the faint of heart. He would still try to spook you with scary legends and stories that he knows, though - but isn’t particularly fussed if you aren’t scared (but he will be a tad amused if you do get a little uneasy).

It would definitely take a while for you two to really bond. You’re reserved enough as it is, and he’s not a social butterfly either. Both of you are comfortable being alone, and don’t really need a lot of social interaction to be happy. Funnily enough, you mention that you’re often initially seen as intimidating; Malleus definitely understands the feeling! (though, your peers probably wouldn’t be terrified of you like many are when it comes to Malleus). Natural, easygoing conversations would not happen for quite some time - early conversations would subsist solely on shared interests and basic small talk.

Malleus greatly appreciates your honesty and bluntness. There are a lot of people who aren’t willing to be honest with him - out of fear or simply wanting to stay on his good side and avoid offending him - so your honesty and frank way of speaking is a breath of fresh air. He frequently comes to you for advice or to ask for your opinion, and he’s happy to extend the same courtesy to you as well.

He likes that you’re very knowledge-driven, and interested in history! And he can definitely understand how tedious it is to study the same subjects and topics over and over again without actually learning anything new or making a new connection. He’s long-lived, and he isn’t really learning anything new at NRC, so his days in school can definitely drag on him a bit. Still, he gets to learn a lot when it comes to humans and interpersonal relationships. Malleus would be a good fit as an intellectual partner - he’s a good source of information, and would be supportive of any of your intellectual pursuits.

Malleus absolutely relates to your dislike of unnecessary change. He does not adapt well to big, drastic changes, and he understands all too well the apprehension in addressing a world and people that may change all too suddenly around you. Although, for him, he may not even really think about his personal organizational systems and routines being affected by change (he’s pretty timeless in that sense), but he listens well to your grievances if such changes were to unwillingly happen to you.

At least one of you is tech-savvy. You will become his go-to person for anything electronic that he can’t figure out (which is, unfortunately for him, a lot). He’ll get the hang of things eventually, once you show him enough times. He’s definitely confused every time you show off some cool new piece of technology you’ve obtained, but he enjoys your enthusiasm nonetheless. Malleus isn’t super interested in playing video games himself, but he doesn’t mind watching you sometimes! It’s something new and different that he doesn’t personally get to see very often.

Malleus would be happy to accompany you to bookstores and libraries. He likes the quiet of libraries, and there will always be something he can pick up to read. And drag him to the stationery sections, or full on stationery shops - he hasn’t frequented those places much, but he’d probably like to look around! He would pick supplies up solely just to write letters to you. Please write to him as well - Malleus would adore getting letters from you, even if you don’t have much to say in them. He doesn’t have many friends, so this is a fun way to keep in touch with you (even if you see each other most, if not every, day).

[charlotte-headcanons]

Hey! How have ypu been? 2,3,6,7,9,15 Who else but Monty (Kata, Brulee, Peros too :D) yeah it's a big order!

Phew, that one sure took a while! But everything for you, friend 💕💕 We're alright, hope you've been well too! ✨

Some practicalities first: We decided to organize this answer by characters, for maximum space to go into detail on each headcanon! Some headcanons pertain to our modern AU rather than to the One Piece canon as we found these headcanons worked better for a particular prompt: we'll indicate those at the start of each bullet point!

Send us a number and a character and we'll post headcanons!

2. Job headcanon

Modern AU: Mont D'Or is a librarian by passion and a prosecutor by profession. He opened up and manages his own library in the early mornings and late evenings, but in-between that, he works on court cases. He might be overworked, and is definitely a workaholic but he hardly ever slacks off on either of his careers; and he's notorious for being professional, convincing, and very attached to every case. Highly principled unless Mama orders him to do something for her, he refuses to prosecute those he doesn't believe should be prosecuted, and for those he wants to face justice - he will get so heated that he might get reprimanded by judges for yelling or by cops and detectives for joining their investigations uninvited. His sister, Galette, is his secretary, and she follows him around everywhere, helping out however much she can!

3. Drinking headcanon

Mont D'Or... might have a bit of an alcohol problem. It's not that he gets drunk often... but he does drink regularly. Essentially, every time his siblings piss him off, he takes a sip, so you can imagine how many sips accumulate throughout the day. His prefer drink is red dry wine and he mostly drinks alone, without witnesses, not to give a bad example! To get really drunk, he would have to drink a lot; but if he does get drunk, he mostly gets more explosive than usual or somewhat lagged out, processing all information input slower than normally.

6. Musical headcanon

In Mont D'Or's eyes, the main function music has is to help him either focus or unwind. For both of these roles, he enjoys classical music most - think especially something akin to Wagner. He despises loud music and prefers instrumental pieces, although he is also an opera enthusiast. His guilty pleasure, discovered quite recently, could also be lo-fi kind of music! It calms him down a little, even though he doesn't like to be caught listening to it, as his expressed music-related opinions are overall quite snobbish.

7. Food/Cooking headcanon

Mont D'Or would gladly cook if he had the time for it; but being as busy as he is, he is forced to depend on others and on ordering food throughout each day. His tastes encompass rather fancy cuisine: he adores charcuterie boards and seafood, refuses to eat fast food, adds cheese to pretty much everything that is remotely acceptable like an apple pie and calls it an acquired taste. Besides that, he always likes to have a cookie with his black coffee; considering how much coffee he drinks every day, that is a lot of cookies consumed!

9. Childhood headcanon

As a child, Mont D'Or was known as just a nerd. He was way more shy and less aggressive than he is now; it was only over time, having been ridiculed by some siblings for his unconventional (in this family) interests, that he toughened up and learned to stand up for himself. Ever since he learned to read, Mont D'Or was a frequent visitor to all libraries of Totto Land. At the time, there weren't that many, nor did they have impressive book collections, so soon enough, Mont D'Or started reading books way above his age target group, and by the time he came of age, he was disappointed to find out that he has already read every book currently available within Big Mom's territory. At first, little Mont D'Or wasn't quite sure what he can offer to his family of murderous pirates: he wasn't strong nor all that ruthless, and his strengths could be found rather in the areas that wouldn't be that useful for sailing or plundering. He also felt lonely before Galette came along, and he could most often be found alone, or around Compote, who had a soft spot for her smart little brother. Eventually, Mont D'Or figured out that strategy and organization were the areas where his family could need him, though; from there, he moved on to transform from a quiet nerd into a pillar of Big Mom Pirates’ planning.

15. School headcanon

Besides setting up many more libraries in Totto Land than it once had, Mont D'Or took it onto himself to kickstart a proper education system in his mother's territory. In the past, none of the Charlotte siblings went through formalized education, rather having to learn from experience or directly from Big Mom, other pirates, and from each other. Now, Mont D'Or makes sure that teachers are recruited to Totto, and at least basic schools (available universally) are established!

Modern AU: It is probably not surprising that at school, Mont D'Or would be a straight-A's student. Stellar at every test, he would however not be all that liked by the teachers due to his behavior problems. His temper and lack of respect for authority if the authority is wrong would both make him a troublesome student to get in conflict with. He'd absolutely correct the teachers on their mistakes, and if they dared refuse to acknowledge their faults... he would yell. 😔

Katakuri, Brulee, and Perospero under the cut!

2. Job headcanon

Modern AU: As we discussed in a previous post, Katakuri would definitely be every parent's dream child, aka a doctor and a lawyer in one! A neurologist and an advocate, Katakuri would be very close to burnout, and wouldn't really actively work in the law field anymore, not wanting to infringe on Mont D'Or's turf. He would definitely work too much, but telling him to rest would hardly be a solution: with his perfectionism, he would not be able to sleep unless his task was carried out well. He wouldn't like his job all that much, really, but he'd still keep it to continue supporting his younger or less talented siblings with his money; and not to disappoint his mother, of course.

3. Drinking headcanon

Katakuri refuses to drink alcohol, finding every possible excuse to not be pressured into it. First of all, he just doesn't want to show his mouth, lay down, or do something even more embarassing for anyone to see if he gets drunk. More importantly, though, he is scared of falling into an addiction as a coping method, so he prefers to just avoid the temptation altogether. If possible, he'd rather not be around drunk people, too!

6. Musical headcanon

Katakuri enjoys all kinds of music and has quite a diverse tastes, with some of his favorites coming from indie rock, metal, cute pixel music, grunge, and more. He is quite embarrassed to share the music he listens to, so when possible, he listens to it on headphones. When he's fully convinced that he's alone, he might sing a little or bob his head to the music he enjoys; if listening to songs around people, though, he'll keep a fully straight, unmoved face.

7. Food/Cooking headcanon

As the supreme donut lover, Katakuri actually has a secret bucket list of all flavors of donuts he wants to try! He cares about the textures of food a lot, and generally prefers soft and chewy things. To set him apart from Luffy, Katakuri also doesn't really like meat, with few exceptions! Sometimes, Katakuri joins Perospero in his morning tea drinking sessions, and it was from his older brother that he learned to like his tea very sweet. As for cooking, he tried it as a child, but found to have little patience for it back then; now, he'd probably do way better if he tried to cook, but just like Mont D'Or, he just doesn't have the time!

9. Childhood headcanon

Katakuri is probably the Charlotte that changed the most since his early childhood. Before the Brulee incident, he was actually a rather lazy, even if talented, kid. To get him to train, an incentive of donuts was always necessary; and having been highly influenced by Daifuku and Oven, he also used to be a bit of a troublemaker. If anyone made fun of him or annoyed him, they would always see Katakuri throwing hands - he was far more eruptive than now and didn't really care what others thought. Brulee getting hurt because of him, though, had a life-changing effect on him; and it effectively molded him into the hardworking, serious, troubled person that he is now.

15. School headcanon

Modern AU: Despite starting off as a troublemaker who slept through the boring classes, these days Katakuri is a model student, and many teachers marvel at his transformation. He is just as good in sciences as in sports, and often represents his school in various competitions, regularly winning too! Although he gets A's in everything, his favorite school subjects remain the humanities. After school, he revises the lesson material for exactly an hour every day, but doesn't need to study much before tests, having a great memory and a kind of sixth sense for filtering out important information. Despite not wanting to be in the spotlight, he's very popular with fellow students and a lot of classmates have secret crushes on him, girls or guys!

2. Job headcanon

Modern AU: As we headcanon, one of Brulee's main hobbies is tending to her herbal garden, and she knows a lot about the healing properties of plants! Naturally, then, she would gladly choose pharmacy as her career path: the calm atmosphere combined with helping others would fit her vibe perfectly. Besides that, she would also work voluntarily babysitting the children of her siblings; the kids would always be kind of scared of her at first, but soon enough they would outright cry whenever she would have to leave even just for a moment.

3. Drinking headcanon

Brulee drinks alcohol rarely and in small amounts; mostly as an addition to a good dinner. She is an extreme lightweight, so anything more than one glass of her favorite white wine results in her becoming way more clumsy than usual and inevitably getting a next-morning headache. To avoid this, she makes sure to never drink more than she knows she can handle!

6. Musical headcanon

Another classical music lover, Brulee would enjoy something akin to Schubert's songs most! Even though she isn't the best at it, with her voice being just a bit too nasal and too scratchy, Brulee likes to sing (especially ballads and lullabies!) and often hums while working. Having a bit more free time than most of her siblings, Brulee also managed to learn some instruments, albeit she only ever stuck to the basics and simple pieces. The piano is the instrument she plays rather well, so she can teach her younger siblings how to play a few easy songs if they so please; very recently, she also picked up the violin, and she enjoys practicing it although, so far, the sounds she can make hardly resemble what she would like to hear.

7. Food/Cooking headcanon

Brulee cooks a lot and enjoys doing that a bunch! She's quite experimental and healthy with her recipes, and prefers salty foods as well as meat or soups. As a result, she is one of the few bastions that keep some of her siblings from succumbing to dessert-only diets. Once in a while, she bakes bread too; since she always cooks way more food than she needs, she often ends up sharing or donating it! You can almost always smell something cooking up in her hut; even if Totto Land has so many high-level chefs, Brulee still likes to make her own, homemade food herself.

9. Childhood headcanon

As a child, Brulee was much more anxious than she is now. She was always a bit awkward and clumsy, and kind of bullied for her witchy appearance by the other children in ports and in Totto Land. Over time, she learned to embrace herself, though; in the stories her older siblings told her, she always identified with the witches, and she later proceeded to amplify this image of herself as much as possible, instead of resenting it!

15. School headcanon

Modern AU: Brulee would be a mediocre student, who'd be kind of picked on, at least until Katakuri got all set on defending her! Her favorite school subject would be history, and she'd also enjoy some parts of biology - though she'd much rather learn about plants and animals than the human insides. Always a sweetheart, Brulee would enjoy secretly making her classmates happy with little anonymous gifts; each birthday or Valentine's Day, anyone could count on at least one card from a secret friend, who everyone would suspect to be her, as she isn't all that great at hiding.

2. Job headcanon

Modern AU: Perospero would be an interior designer, but really, one of a kind. Even if just designing a chair, he'd see his work as art and himself as an artist, and he'd act accordingly. Cracker Any architect unlucky enough to have to work with him would end up in despair as he'd blatanly ignore the technical limits and capacities of a building for the aesthetic. Likewise, his clients would have to be prepared for many unexpected decisions and costs: Perospero would not take orders from them but always stick to what he thinks looks good, no matter how intricate or expensive. Effectively, the only clients brave enough to employ him more than once would be the rich and extravagant ones: those would appreciate his work immensely, while anyone remotely more practical would have to complain.

3. Drinking headcanon

Perospero parties and gets drunk quite often, although he exclusively drinks overly sweet cocktails and never drinks outside of a social context! When he has too much to drink, he gets either hyper, horny, or annoying - or all three at once - depending on his mood. Whichever it is, he also loses all understanding of personal space, gets a lot more touchy, and much more likely to lick everyone and everything. At the end of the night, he has the tendency to pretend that he's much more drunk than he actually is, too, hoping that someone will carry him home like the princess he wants to be; though most of the time, it just ends up with Daifuku pulling him back by the leg.

6. Musical headcanon

Perospero loves to sing, especially publically, and he's surprisingly good at it! damn I really got a stroke first time I heard him sing, like, my man, how can you sing so well with an entire tongue out wtf Perospero explain. His preferred repertoire of music to sing includes all sorts of songs from musicals; as for music to listen to, he ranges between musicals and hyperpop, or any music sweet and bubbly on the outside but disturbing and horror-like as it develops!

7. Food/cooking headcanon

Perospero does not cook on principle, insisting that they have the chefs for it. His diet as a whole is downright atrocious; he adds sugar to quite literally everything, acts dramatically, as if he was poisoned if forced to eat anything not sweet enough, and mostly lives off candy. His 'tea' can hardly be called that anymore, considering that it contains more syrups and sugar than tea itself. Basically, Compote gets chills whenever she sees him eat and continuously marvels at how the fuck he is still alive.

9. Childhood headcanon

Having to take care of his siblings early on, Perospero didn't get much of a careless childhood. Once Linlin was unable to keep all children with her on the Rocks Pirates ship, by the time he was 8, he was put in charge of all the younger siblings she left in a port (while Compote was looking over the ones that stayed with Linlin on the ship). Perospero looks back at his childhood fondly, though; he liked ordering his brothers and sisters around, liked being in charge, and especially loved being admired and looked up to as the eldest sibling role model. Once Katakuri became a new favorite of the family, Perospero was so jealous and grumpy for a while that he even went through a rebellious phase of trying to run away; he came back less than a day later though, having cried his eyes out once missing his family and homesickness kicked in, never to try to leave ever again.

15. School headcanon

Modern AU: At school, Perospero would definitely focus on socializing way more than on learning. Among the teachers, he would be known as a smart but lazy kind of student, doing the bare minimum for most classes, though excelling in art and music. He would have mostly girl friends, essentially running his own mean girls group; together with them, he'd always come up with excuses to not exercise during P.E. so that his looks don't get ruined and so that he can just spend the time gossiping about the guys instead. If someone got on his bad side, Perospero would also not be above bullying them, although he wouldn't do that in a conventional way - rather, he'd just make his victims severely uncomfortable, getting way to close, switching between flirty and dangerous tones, and making them feel trapped before just backing off and laughing. An absolute menace to society, even in a modern AU 😔

If you managed to get through all of this, we salute you, soldier 🎖️Hope you enjoyed, though! ✨ It was sure fun to come up with. Thanks for the ask! 💕

[highsviolets]

INTERVIEW NO. 1: RACHEL @djarinsbeskar

hello hello! i am so happy to announce that rachel — aka the immense talent that is @djarinsbeskar — has agreed to be my first interviewee for this new series! thank you to rach and to each one of you for all of your support. to read more about the project, click here, and to submit an author, click here.

| why rachel? |

Rachel captured my imagination from the first time we interacted as mutuals-in-law. She’s bursting with energy and vivaciousness, with a current of kindness just underneath everything she does. Her work is no exception. Oftentimes gritty, raw, and exposing (in … ahem…more ways than one), Rachel challenges her readers to dig deeper into both the story and themselves. Her smut brings a particular fire as it’s laced with need, desire, and mutual trust that leads us deeper into the characters’ identities and how physical affection can mimic other forms of intimacy. She’s a tour de force in this fandom and an absolute joy.

| known for |

Engaging with and encouraging other authors, cultivating inspo posts, attention to world building & character development

| my favorites |

Stitches

Boxer!Din

Full Masterlist • Ko-Fi

| q & a |

When did you start writing? What was that project, and what was it like? Has that feeling or process ever changed over time? Why?

I can’t remember a time I wasn’t writing. I was an avid reader, as I think most writers are—and I remember, after picking up Lord of the Rings—that I could live so many lives, experience so many things, all from the pages of a book. I could make sense of the world through words and ink and paper. And it offered me a level of peace and clarity I wanted to share with others. So, I started writing.

My first project I remember to this day, was a short story about a dog. I had been so heartbroken when I learned that dogs were colourblind. I must have been about seven or eight at the time, and I was fixated on this idea that dogs couldn’t see the vibrant hues that made the world beautiful. It was something I wanted to change—and with all the righteous anger of a child not getting their own way, I sulked over the fact that I couldn’t. Until I wrote it down.

“How do dogs see colour?”

And much like my writing today, I answered myself.

“Dogs don’t need to see colour. Dogs smell colour.”

And so, I wrote a story, about a puppy being brought on different walks by its owner. And with every new street it walked down—colour bloomed with scent. Colours more beautiful and vibrant than we could ever hope to see with our eyes. And it gave me solace and helped me work through an emotion that – granted was immature and inconsequential – had affected me. To this day, I still smile seeing dogs sniffing at everything they pass on their walks. Smelling colour. It gave me the key to my favourite thing in life. I don’t think my process has changed much since then. Much of what I write is based on a skeleton plan, but I leave room for characters to speak and feel as they need to. I like to know the starting point and destination of a chapter—but how they get there, that still falls to instinct. I think I’ve found a happy medium of strict planning and winging it that suits me now—and hopefully it will continue to improve over time!

When did you start posting your writing, and on what platform? What gave you the push to do that?

I mean, fanfiction has always been part of my life. I think anyone who was growing up in the late 2000’s and early 2010’s found their way to fanfiction.net at some time or other. The wild west compared to what we have now! My first post was for the Lord of the Rings fandom on fanfiction.net. It was an anthology of the story told through the eyes of the steeds. Bill the Pony, Shadowfax—it was all very innocent. That was probably in 2010 when I was fifteen. I had been wanting to share writing for a long time but was worried about how it would be received. I didn’t really have a gauge on my level or my creativity and – one of the many flaws of someone with crippling perfectionism – I only ever wanted to provide perfection. That was a major inhibitor when I was younger. By wanting it to be perfect, I never posted anything. Until that stupidly cute LOTR fic. It was freeing to write something that no one but me had any interest in, because if I was writing for myself then there was no one to disappoint, right? And that was all it took. I had some pauses over the years between college and life and such, but I’ve never lost that mindset when it comes to posting.

What your favorite work of yours that you have ever written? Why is it your favorite? What is more important to you when considering your own stories for your own enjoyment — characters? fandom? spice? emotional development? the work you’ve put into it? Is that different than what you enjoy reading most in other people’s fics?

I don’t think it’ll come as much of a surprise when I say Stitches. While not original, I mean—it follows the plot of the Mandalorian quite diligently, it is the piece of work I really hold very close to my heart. Din Djarin as a character is what got me back into writing after what must have been five years? He inspired something. His manner, his personality—he resonated with me as a person in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. And gave me back a creative outlet I had been missing.

It’s funny to say out loud—but I wanted to give him something? I spent so long thinking about his character that half my brain felt like it belonged to him—how he reacted and responded to things etc. and of course, like every dreamy Pisces—I wanted to give him love and happiness. So, Stitches came along. Personally, when writing—it’s a combination of characters, emotional development and spice (I can’t help myself) and when we can follow that development. With Stitches, it’s definitely the spice that is the conduit for development—but I adore showing how the physical can help people who struggle to communicate emotions too complex for words.

I don’t usually read for Din, as most people know—but I do enjoy reading the type of work that Stitches is. Human, damaged—but still with an undercurrent of hope that makes me think of children’s books.

You said, “much like writing today, I answered myself.” Could you talk about that in relation to Stitches?

So, I’m endlessly curious, it has to be said. Especially about why people are the way they are. Why people do A instead of B. Why X person’s immediate thought went to this place instead of that place. And I’m rarely satisfied with superficial explanations. One of the most exciting parts of writing and fanfiction especially, is making sense of that why. There can be countless explanations, some that are content with what is seen on the surface and some that go deep and some that go even deeper still.

Stitches is almost a – very long winded and much too long – answer to the questions I was so intrigued by about Din Djarin, about the Mandalorian and about the Star Wars universe as a whole. I often wondered what happened to people after the Rebellion, the normal people who fought—the people in the background. What did they do next? Did some of them suffer from PTSD? What was the galaxy like right after the Empire fell? That first season of the Mandalorian answered some of those questions, but I wanted to know more. So, I created a reader insert who was a combat medic—and through her, I let myself answer the questions of what happened next.

Regarding Din as a character, I wanted to know what a bounty hunter with a code of honour would do in certain situations—what made him tick, what made hm vulnerable. I wanted to explore the discovery of his identity. Din Djarin didn’t exist after he was taken from Aq Vetina. He became a cog in a very efficient machine of Mandalorians—and it was safe there. I wanted to see what – or who – might encourage him to step into his own. Grogu was that person in a familial sense, but what about romantically? What about individually? There’s so much to explore with this man! So many facets of personality and nuances of character that make him so gorgeous to write and think about.

Talk to me about the Din Djarin Athletic Universe. How does Din as all of these forms of athlete play off who you see him as in canon?

The Athletic Universe! How I adore my athletes. Despite being in a modern setting, I have kept the core of Din’s character in each of them (at least I hope I have!). I like to divide Din’s character into three phases when it comes to canon because he’s not as immovable as people seem to think he is. We discussed this before, how I see Din as a water element—adaptable, but strong enough that he can be as steadfast as rock. But I digress, the first phase is the character we see in the first episode. Basically, before Grogu. There’s an aggressive brutality to Din when we see him bounty hunting. He works on autopilot and isn’t swayed by sob stories or promises. He has the covert but is ultimately separate. Those soft feelings he comes to recognise when he has Grogu are dormant – not non-existent – but they haven’t been nurtured or encouraged. This is the point I extracted Boxer!Din’s personality and story from.

Cyclist!Din on the other hand—is already a father, a biological father to Grogu. And his personality, I took from that moment in the finale of Season two where I believe Din’s transformative arc of character solidified. He was always a father to Grogu, but I do believe that moment where he removes his helmet is the moment, he accepts that role fully in his heart and mind. And that is why I don’t believe for a second, that removing his helmet was him breaking his Creed. In fact, I believe it was the purest act he could do in devotion to his Creed—to his foundling, to his son. The Cyclist!AU is very much the character I see canon Din having should Grogu have stayed with him. This single dad who isn’t quite sure how he got to where he is now—but does anything and everything for his child without thought. It’s a natural instinct for him, and I like exploring those possibilities with Cyclist!Din.

You also said, “he has the covert but is ultimately separate.” What does it take for him — and you — to get to that point of being ‘not separate?’

I mentioned this above, but one of the biggest interests I have in Din as a character is his identity. He’s a Mandalorian, he’s a bounty hunter, he’s the child’s guardian but those are all what he is, not who. I think Din is separate while being part of the covert because he doesn’t know. I don’t think anyone can really be part of something if they don’t know who they are or, they struggle with their identity. It’s curious to me—how you can deceive even yourself to mimic the standard set for the many. In the boxer verse, he identifies himself in relation to his boxing—and every part of his outward personality exhibits those qualities. But when he’s given a softer touch—an outlet of affection, and comfort—we see the softer side of him surface. It’s very much the same with Stitches Din. Identity is like anything, emotions—relationships, bodies. It needs nurturing to thrive, an open door—a safe space. At least, that’s what goes through my mind when I think of him.

Who is your favorite character to read?

Frankie because there are so many ways his character can be interpreted and there are some stellar versions of him that I think of at least once a day. Javi because he reminds me of kintsugi-- golden recovery, broken pottery where the cracks are highlighted with gold. I also adore reading for Boba Fett, Paz Viszla and the clones!

Is there anything else you want your readers to know about you, your writing, or your creative process?

Hmm... only that I am quite literally a gremlin clown who is always here to chat Din, Star Wars, literature, book recs and anything else under the sun! I like to hear people's stories, their opinions etc. it helps me see things from alternative points of view and can truly help the writing process! Other than that, I think I can only thank readers for putting up with my ridiculously long chapters and rambling introspection. Thank you for indulging me always! ❤️