#his need for control is so great
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and what qualities does a1 fear having assigned to him?
a1 thinks about what people are thinking about him all the time so the list is quite long:
-uneducated and/or dumb
-poor
-unattractive/undesirable/unpopular
-behind on trends
-weird/unpleasant/out of place
-his authority not being recognized
-incompetent/inexperienced
#like he has a lot superficial stuff he is concerned about#and i think most importantly#he doesnt want to be seen as a victim#his need for control is so great#that he has to assume responsibility for everything that has happened to him#a1/a2#asks
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listen I know everybody makes Orpheus and Eurydice quest aus of Nico bringing Jason back BUT we already did Orpheus and Eurydice in canon like at least three times (Nico bringing Percy to the Styx, Nico bringing back Hazel, and Piper in general is Orpheus as an Argonaut) AND we are missing the much simpler canon-established method.
Remember the whole soul-trade thing Nico was doing in BoTL that got dropped completely? Even though it was like the entire subplot with Minos?
The requirement is a soul that has cheated death for a soul that has died. Now, quickly ignoring the convenient emperors running around who very much cheated death and the entire main conflict in TOA is Apollo trying to get rid of them. There are a ton of escaped souls from the whole Doors of Death/Thanatos getting captured thing. They're just kind of around. A lot of them were in the Giant Army but not all of them and a good number of them are random mortals and they're just. Somewhere.
So that's two loose plot threads: Nico is 100% fully aware of a completely Underworld-Legal method for bringing people back from the dead and there's an absolute ton of random souls-who-cheated-death running around who knows where completely unaddressed. Also, we know from BoO that Nico has changed his stance since BoTL and is now completely down for some murder.
Now, is there a very compelling plot within there about Nico and his sense of Underworld justice/Nico's morals and how he views the situation (insert the "That word ['please'] didn’t make sense to Nico. The Underworld had no mercy. It only had justice." quote from BoO of Nico killing Bryce while he's begging for mercy here.) vs Jason's own sense of justice/morals and the knowledge that Nico 100% actually murdered somebody to bring him back. THAT'S FASCINATING. It's a good conflict for a story and it ties up loose threads! We don't need to invent new mechanics the worldbuilding writes the plot all on it's own.
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#jason grace#not tagging as ship because it does not inherently need to be though most versions of this plot are#and i will say this plotline does have a FASCINATING secondary conflict if you go the ship route with it#because Nico is Ghost King! Jason was A GHOST! NICO CONTROLS GHOSTS!#Ghosts are inherently drawn to Nico and respond to his emotions/commands/etc even if he is not consciously controlling them!#So you could *absolutely* have a secondary conflict of Nico and Jason trying to figure out their feelings for each other#but both of them worrying about trying to parse if their feelings *are* actually mutual#or if Nico accidentally influenced Jason while he was a ghost into reciprocating his feelings and that stuck when he was revived#which is like. extra sucky for Jason to figure out because HE ALREADY WENT THROUGH THAT WITH PIPER. This would be the second time!#can you tell i started writing this once#i never finished it but i stand by it's SUCH a great compelling plot if you wanna go the revive-Jason route
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The Unlucky Tug's season 13 & Hero of the Rails Retrospective video got me thinking about Spencer... As a character we really don't have much on him do we? (Which is ironically fitting since he's a private engine)
Come to think of it, most of what we know of Spencer are a handful of crumbs you can count off your fingers (that he's proud of being a speedster, that he enjoys his work as a private engine, that he's not overly fond of Sodor's engines, etc...), and just a few personality traits you can parse from watching how he interacts with others (which often amounts to him being a pompous jerk who cares more about his status than actually behaving in a way that upholds that status with grace). Other than that, we don't really know who he is or what he did before he became the Duke and Duchess of Boxford's privately owned engine...
Sure, he's an A4 Pacific but... Is he meant to be a specific one?
Every engine in the railway series and the tv shows has a proper basis one can refer to. Even if some of them are fictional members of a specific line of engines or heavily altered (Gordon as his class's imperfect but no less endearing prototype, Edward being a surviving member of his class despite all of the Larger Seagulls having been scrapped in actuality, James being a custom fleshed out in the series, and Henry being a personification of one class configuration being rebuilt into another, etc...the list is never ending here!) they still have a concrete basis you can look at and equate them to.
With that in mind... Is Spencer supposed to be one of the Silvers? The first batch of A4s that pulled the Silver Jubelee and didn't escape scrapping? If so, is he meant to be a fifth fictional member of the Silvers or is he actually one of them under a new identity?
I've seen the latter idea being toyed with a lot (and I do vibe with it because second chances at life freaking slap as a character arc!), but the former idea... The one where maybe he's a secret fifth member that was never really in prominence compared to his older siblings (overlooked and ignored)... It also does seem fitting doesn't it?
Especially considering none of his fellow Silvers survived.
What I'm getting at, is that Spencer strikes me as someone who's deeply insecure to the point he'll latch onto what he thinks is his (his status for example), and protects it with such jealous ferocity that it makes him a very difficult engine to get along with.
If he were one of the Silvers who somehow miraculously got bought by the Duke and Duchess of Boxford when he was going to be scrapped, it definitely makes sense why he tries to seem like he's more than he really is. Making himself out to be important would ensure he continues to remain useful enough that he won't see the cutter's torch so soon...
But it also makes him a potentially very unstable and volatile individual if he gets it in his funnel that someone is threatening his position/existence. Literally anything minor can be blown out of proportion. Including something as harmless as a cheeky little tank engine trying to show him up, and humiliating him in front of his lifeline...
Because trying to get a fellow steam engine scrapped due to a wounded ego is DEFINITELY a disproportional response to his petty squabble with Thomas. And his later reaction when Hiro rescues him shows this too. If Spencer were that much of a jerk that he is all for getting someone else scrapped, he wouldn't have changed his mind so easily.
Spencer's lack of a backstory not only bothers me, it also makes his behavior all that much more interesting to study under a microscope... Just what did he go through that THAT was the only way he thought was appropriate to get back at Thomas? Especially when later it becomes very apparent he didn't mean it...

Who were you Spencer? What did you see?
#Thomas and Friends#TTTE#ttte spencer#spencer the silver engine#I know for the most part he's supposed to be a foil for gordon so he's all of his bad traits cranked to 11#but spencer CAN be nice if given the right circumstances#as seen in his last appearance with gordon of all engines#the new years episode always made me more conscious of the fact spencer is more than he seems#but the more I think about hero of the rails the more I realize something is deeply wrong with him#and that he might not be consciously trying to be malicious#I am gonna rotate him in my brain like microwavable pasta...#the duke and duchess need to freaking control their engine... but alas I think the reason why he often gets away with being a jerk#is that they do genuinely love their engine enough to overlook his flaws#unless he actually goes and makes a great enough mess to make a fuss over#he's their several tons of responsibility who clearly has behavioral issues but they love him nonetheless#otherwise they would just buy a new engine altogether
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My biggest issue in Epic the Musical is Odysseus, actually. In this essay, I will....
#good god I hate his (lack of) character arc#if you want me to believe he is a monster then he gotta be consistently!!!! monstrous!!!#but no he is constantly allowed to be a poor pissbaby because portraying him as anything *gasp* morally dubious is bad#idk i don't know anything about the og myths but to me Epic's Odysseus bounces around between moods far too fast but he is always allowed t#reset back into what he has been from the start#none of his angst feels earned at any point because basically all the “bad choices” he's been put into have been outside of his control#except maiming the sirens and sacrificing people to scylla#which feel so out of character at that point to me because the next song he's whining to Zeus to not make him choose between him and his me#bitch if you were willing to sacrifice them two seconds ago why not now#why not have odysseus be the one to suggest sacrificing his men instead of him to show how far he is actually willing to go#but noooo his hand needs to be forced because???#at that point in the musical I feel like he should've been far more cruel so the Ithaca saga will actually feel like something#gives this man some agency to be a fucked up guy by himself. please.#it would've made the poseidon fight even more satisfying. he's capable because he has grown so cold. but no#idk maybe I'm missing the point but ugh#I saw a great comment unrelated to this that was like#“if you aren't comfortable with dark implications in your stories then don't write dark stories”#which I feel like applies here so well#epic the musical critical
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I have very specific thoughts about Bruce's 'childhood' and how he tried to do things differently with Dick than what happened with him because of how badly it affected him. He knows what it's like to have everything change so fast and to be so angry but too young to actually do anything about it.
I can see him making sure Dick doesn't get too close of a look at his parents because Bruce remembers being stuck with his parent's corpses until the police got there, all alone with no other way to call for help than screaming. I can see him hiding Dick from the flashing cameras and hiding any newspapers about the 'story' so that Dick doesn't have to see how the press spins everything. Bruce has that picture of himself sitting shellshocked from the ambulance on the front page and he knows how violating that felt, how publicized his trauma was, even if he can't completely prevent it for Dick he can do his best to make it hurt less.
Bruce suffered being helpless for years, being so angry at Gotham and the world and not having a good outlet for it, he had no control over anything that was happening with him, so with DIck he knows how important being Robin became because he knows how becoming Batman felt for him. Bruce got into fights because he couldn't hold his anger in and had to turn that anger inward in fear that Alfred would get sick of him and leave too. Robin was a productive outlet, even if it was a dangerous one, but who knows what would've happened to him if he didn't have it? He already got that taste of freedom and feeling like his intervention could actually make a difference that Bruce took years and years of stewing in trauma to find.
The most important thing to Bruce is that Dick doesn't become another Batman.
#this is the idea I had for a fic where I go between the deaths of Bruces parents and Dicks parents#based on what Bruce did differently than what happened to him#Feat. Alfred not being a great guardian bc the distance between staff and ward is funky#and how that damaged Bruce#Like I don't think Alfred was terrible but I don't think he was parental enough#anyway I want to write the Waynes death scene so badly I think since it's been so ingrained in Batmans lore we stopped thinking about it#anyway in the batman and robin year one where Alfred was like 'you don't have much experience in being a child' made me think#Not saying that Bruce is an amazing parent but I think it would be interesting to focus on what he tried to do differently#I think he realized that Dick needed to be considered an equal and not just some kid who doesn't know anything#bc he was once that kid who everyone dismissed and had no control of his own life#idk I feel like if I've thought enough about this to be a fic i could yap on forever...#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#maybe i could spin it into being in The Batman continuity...
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Also, any time someone says "Josh speaks in pure nonsense" or "he's always blabbing a million miles a minute" or whatever dumb shit, I hope you know every adhd person sees your post and internalizes it bc I know I do.
#thats his adhd babe he cant control it#AND NEITHER CAN I#so no YOU shut up!#ugh so annoying#like damn one fuckin day without it would be great#LIKE BABY DOESNT FEEL THE NEED TO MASK FOR YOU#YOU SHOULD FEEL SO FUCKIN SPECIAL#gvf#greta van fleet#josh kiszka#adhd
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john @ sam
#has someone made this joke before....probably!#joke post but i'm also somewhat serious abt it alksjdflaks#like the sam-john dynamic was always equal parts suspicion and protection to me!!!!#the reason why john is such a great character to me? he's the world's biggest hypocrite <3#hypocrisy - secrecy - mistrust the trifecta of john traits like what a guy! it all boils down to keeping control over uncertainty#sam's kept at a distance not to spare him from the horrors of hunting - it's also bc he's a potential liability#2.01 “I should've never taken you along in the first place. I knew it was a mistake” <- speaks volumes!!#he's not taking that risk! it's easier to shut him out (while also reminding dean he isn't good enough. to keep him in line)#(went to the logan roy school of dividing and conquering his kids <3)#but also. the uneasy idea of sam as a potential threat needing to be monitored and contained#a son to protect from dark forces is also the same son who drew darkness into his home!#sam's first panic room? cage? being left alone in motel rooms#it speaks volumes that legacy he leaves behind for dean#is him literally ordering a hit on sam alksdjf#i love the line 'watch out for your brother' bc it carries that dual meaning of protection and suspicion so well#like 'watch out' meaning protect him but also 'watch out' as in keep an eye on that threat#j.txt
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Can't sleep, but I'm thinking about FulCrank(crankful? lol) in a silly way, and how it's like, technician x mechanic
Like, Fulcrum's long gotten used to responding to others bringing him "broken" tech with the whole "Have you tried turning it on and off again?", only for it to restart and be fine, because it just needed like, a hard reboot or update or something.
But then Crankcase pulls him aside, because maybe the TVs not working for reasons other than them physically damaging it, and Fulcrum's thinking it's the usual same old problem, so he sighs, and goes to ask the question that haunts his choice of work, but Crankcase interrupts, because of course he already did that.
He already tried restarting it, and checked all the cables, the antennas, and unplugged it a couple times, and checked the connections, and- etc etc. He goes down the list of everything he already checked before giving up and asking for help once he realized he was out of his depth, because, while this isn't his exact specialty, he gets it.
And its like-
Scene: Crankcase explaining everything he already tried, while Fulcrum's optics widen a bit, his breath catches in his vents, careless whisper starts to play somewhere in the background as Crankcase goes into detail about what he thinks could be the problem as a soft light frames his disgruntled expression, and Fulcrum's just like, oh..., he already tried turning it on and off again... I- I wonder if he'd be cool with making out sloppy style after we fix this...?
Idk lol.
They'd compliment each other on the cable and pipe management of the W.A.P's old shoddy computers and pumps. Just them being nerds about stuff like propulsion systems and data collection with eachother <3
Do they always understand and get everything the other's talking or complaining about? Not exactly. But they both bond over all the repetitive or crazy situations where they've had to fix and repair stuff, the thankless work they did to keep their respective stations functioning around them, and then maybe they kiss or something over the W.A.P's shitty GPS
#the idea of crankcase going down a list of things he tried. and fulcrum just itching to pounce on him suddenly. is greatly amusing to me#i kinda wanted to doodle it. but my computer is in my currently damp and musty basement. and therefore. unplugged until its less damp :(#so. im like. beaming it out this way. dumb nerds being smoopy about technological/mechanical stuff#them hunched over some part of the ship. working on the w.a.ps systems ig. while the rest of the scavs are like that one meme-#-what are you two fucking talking about?????- but its like. misfire. feeling excluded bcs this shit is going over his head#its also going over kroks head. but hes like. chill about it. and spin could care less. is the ship dying? no. great. not his problem#also. like. them as that one pic of the dude talking while the other dude is leaned back with a dreamy look on the floor. crank and fulc#idk how to explain it well rn. but like. yeah....#i need to sleep. got my sleep schedule somewhat under control. but uh. not anymore! hahaha ha... heh... ;-;#fuck old ass rusted sump pumps man... god#ok ok. sleep times. goodnight and good mornin
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Rewatching a playthrough of Danganronpa and it actually shocks me how chill Monokuma is. Even when Kyoko goes around stealing his shit and he finds Makoto with it later he's like. Yeah okay. I don't hold it against you or anything it's cool. LMAO
He has every available opportunity to just kill everyone whenever, especially when they break the rules, but he never does. I really love villains who stick to their own rules so it's fair for everyone else :")
#Danganronpa#Okay listen I know a lot of people hate Monokuma (some of my own friends included)#But I LOVE him. Okay. I adore him#His personality is great he's a cheerful asshole who kills kids for fun. And he's not ashamed about it.#He follows his own rules to a T and jokes around with the kids and offers them hints when they need it#He's the worst person in the world. The person who controls him has slaughtered thousands.#He's the cause of all the world's chaos. He's also a cute widdle teddy bear.#I hate him so much I love him. Does that make sense? Lol#It's hard to find really compelling villains like him and Junko#HE'S BATSHIT CRAZY! HE'S UNHINGED! AND HE'S FUCKING ADORABLE!!#Also it's crazy to me that Junko could literally just walk out and leave and end the game but she DOESN'T#She follows her rules through to the end. And executes herself#No normal villain would do that. A normal villain would do anything to escape and survive after they've lost#She just accepts her defeat with grace. I hate her guts but I respect the HELL out of her#Shima speaks
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Unhinged Graham for someone on Twitter
(He hates Zak; AU stuff, as per usual)
#Graham is constantly on the verge of losing his mind in our AU#He tries his hardest to keep himself under control#but it doesn't really work too well and he ends up having psychotic breakdowns#he's not that bad of a guy once tou get to know him and he can actually be quite sweet and a charm#he's got something going on mentally he knows and he struggles with it so badly sometimes but he's so greatful Flint loves him nonetheless#Graham HATES Zak he wants him to explode#but it's probably because; although he doesn't realize it; he just hates how Zak is only 25 and has already signed his life away#now he needs to watch someone who reminds him of himself go down the same path of monotonous boredom and insanity that he has#life is a circle#ttcc#imagionary rambles#toontown corporate clash#toontown: corporate clash#toontown#graham ness payser#pacesetter#alpha pup#zak blazer#ttcc au#ttcc oc#sorry for writing so much in here#I love Graham and he's trying his best
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GUYS WE CAN NOW LISTEN TO JEREMY JORDAN SING THE ROLE OF JAY GATSBY ANY TIME ANYWHERE
#and let me tell you he was even better in person#perfect for that role#I teared up the moment he started singing in his soft controlled falsetto my GOD he’s so good live 😭😭😭😭#cast album finally dropped AFTER I saw the show but now atleast I can relive Jeremy’s singing constantly 🥸#the great Gatsby musical#Jeremy Jordan#sorry I guess I’m just hyperfixating on musicals now 😅#a sure sign I need to audition again soon#Spotify
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Ieoove youuuthustke dujgeinmeshi
#i had to get off my birth control for a bit jm ovulating#THISTLE 😭😭😭😭🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁😭😭😭😫😫😫😫😫😭😭😭😭😫😫🙁😫🙁😭😭🙁#hes like..kike 🙁#yknowlike#hes so young#he didn't deserve to have to go through so much#I NEED HIM TO BE HAPPY PLEEEEEEAAAASEEE#thiatle you gotta heal#and#like#🙁#ugggghhhhhhhhhhh#stuoid fucking ekg dieidieieieidieieddddieeeee#hate his guts#hate delgal#kill delgal#kill him OLLLEEEEAASSSSEEEE#thistle dont stay ti3e down by your fp 😫😫😫#bpdthistle....soreal HEA SO REAL#ILOVEEHIM#IM GINNA SQUEEXE HIM SI TUFHT HJOYOKYLU#IM GONNA PINCH HIS CHEEKS AND SLIP HIM TWNETY BUCKS LIKE AN ANNOYING GREAT AUNT#😫😫😫🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁....🙁..🙁.🙁.🙁.........🙁.🙁.🙁.....🙁.....#🪻
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i need fgo to acknowledge servants horses more
#achilles isn't enough i need to know how each servant is around their horse(s)#i think that duryodhana has two main steeds and would have a hard time controlling them for when he's being petulant#highest ranking older mare (12-16) + her offspring (4-8) the older one would have a stubborn and calm temperament who doesn't respect duryo#and her daughter would have the same kind of chill but would be more playful and curious. dur is talking with his brothers & she trots over#starts nuzzling and sniffing his clothes because she's bored. duryo keeps talking but starts petting her#i also think duryodhana has instinctively good balance and he's good at multitasking so showmanship-like riding comes to him easily#but he's shit at all horse maintenance. especially hoof care; he's convinced his girls are going to kick him and doesn't want to even try i#but he wants good care for his horses so he watches over the servants tending to them. bossy yet incompetent duryodhana 🥰#we know georgios is a good owner but i think he likes rein maintenance & spends a fair amount of time making sure bayards armor is spotless#lalter gives out snacks more easily than her counterpart (going after the wild hunt takes energy! llamrei is a good girl!)#percival is great with horses in general and he enjoys taking care of them and will help out any other knights if they're having trouble#ashvatthaman is (un)surprisingly really good with young stallions. he's not afraid of them at all and will scold them for their mean deeds#horse tries to eat his clothes or nibble his hair and he's like. oi stop that you bastard. and the horse listens (will eat his hair later)#prince of lanling is very thorough with horses getting enough feed and water and will make sure they're well rested#arjuna is like. the main character of a horse movie. he's emotionally sensitive with them & bonds with horses easily (who sense his worries#works really really hard to be good at riding and wants to leave no room for mistakes. really aware of his posture at all times#we had dogy event please give me hors event... horses cute and underrated<-most biased man talking
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Honestly, Man-Bat would be such a horrifying creature to stumble across in Gotham? At 8'6, he is HUGE, strong enough to carry off a man in his claws while barely slowing down. He might lack the same intelligence he had as Kirk Langstrom but Man-Bat still has keen problem-solving intellect such as picking up an entire wooden desk and throwing it at Batman to hold him in place long enough for an easy bite to the throat. It's that uncanny area between what was once human vs. a hyperpredator making Man-Bat one of the most dangerous creatures to cross whether he's simply hungry enough or has developed a grudge against you for some reason. You can't outrun him and there aren't many places you can hide because not only can he fly, he's able to squeeze into places you yourself would be able to fit into.
#🦇 || musings#🦇 || headcanons#Sometimes he's a silly bat and sometimes he's nightmare fuel#Man-Bat definitely has those JP velociraptor vibes#Canny enough to figure out simple tasks like opening doors or consider alternative routes if something's blocking his path#You really can't hide either because his sense of hearing is so good#Easily strong enough to pick up the tiniest breath or beating of your heart#He doesn't need to see to be able to catch you!#Cuz there's that echolocation...#Yeah Man-Bat coming after you would NOT be fun#Your only hope of escape would be that he's distracted by easier prey stumbling along or Batman himself appears to save you#Man-Bat can and will hold grudges against people even if they upset him as Kirk#He REMEMBERS#Like Kirk's AWOL when Man-Bat is in control but Man-Bat can fall back on some latent memories to aid his actions#Hence why he didn't attack Francine when she stopped him from mauling Man-Bat he still remembered his wife and love for her#And vice versa when Francine became She-Bat#Ahhh I really must add Francine as a muse sometimes she would be great#Smart and sassy and even MORE dangerous when she's Man-Bat#Because female vampire bats are even bigger and more aggressive than the males :D
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Had an idea for a fic set mainly in the movie verse after listening to Done For from Epic and just
Babfhfjejejd
I want to write it
It needs to exist outside of my head
But I haven’t even had time to go get my name changed or go to DEERs
#great Devourer as a sorceress#she comes to take revenge for her people being imprisoned#Lloyd offers to begs her not to punish ninjago#and tells her his father would only learn if the punishment affects him instead of Garmadon#so she curses him#he knows had his powers fully realized without any control so he’s just leaking elemental power#and he’s stuck between oni dragon and human form#I need it#I need to write it#but I don’t have time#😭
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#welcome to another installment of: angel spits out all his thoughts about autism cause if he keeps them inside his head will explode#in today's episode: is it possible that my ''panic attacks'' have been autistic meltdowns all this time?#then answer is maybe!#ok so i was watching this youtube video from channel I'm autisticn now what? (check it out it's great!)#and meg was talking about the different types of autistic meltdowns and how they might manifest#and then in the comments people were discussing autistic meltdowns vs panic attacks and how cofused they used to be about them#and that got me thinking... there's a big thing that needs to happen during a panic attack for it to be a panic attack#and that is anxious thoughts... many people talk about fear of death during panic attacks#and that was never my experience. I don't feel like I'm going to die when I have these ''attacks''#they feel painful and like i'm completely out of control but my head is quite clear in that regard#i always thought it was because i don't think dying is like The Worst thing that could happen to me so maybe that was why#and it never ocurred to me that it could be an autistic meltdown because i always saw those as ''little boy hits his head against the wall'#(horrible i know) but it's more than that! (plus i sadly started self harming when the ''attack'' is too bad so not i fit that idea lol)#it's the uncontrollable crying. the throwing anything you have at hand across the room. the not being able to utter words#(other than ''no'' in my case) it's the complete lack of control#and that fits so much more to what i experience! i even related to meg's personal anecdote about a meltdown she had as a child#being separated from my mom made me go into full panic modes as a kid and that was seen as a tantrum but it was more than that to me!#and as an added bonus the only therapist i've ever seen in my life used to call my panic attacks ''pseudo-panic attacks''#because even she felt it didn't quite fit in the description (not that she was a good therapist so i can't put her as an example lol)#but anyways... yeah every day that goes by i'm more and more convinced I am autistic and it scares me to fucking death#because of the way my mom reacted when i first raised the question. so yeah this is for nothing lol nothing will change in my life#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#angel talks#personal
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