#his ego is huge but his dick cant keep up

[xyfanficarchive]

feel like this is jimmy

[fishys-still-writing-smut]

Size Comparison

Chiaki compares Makoto and Hinata. The Gamer heard that the Luckster is huge down there, she needs to see if that is true.

Warning: Lewd Content Below

(love these three together, so decided to try something new for them)

[10/3, 1:24 AM, private DM]

Ass Effect: hey hey hey

God of Whore: Hey Chiaki! What's up?

Ass Effect: missing you :*(

Ass Effect: how's the night shift

God of Whore: Eh. It's part time and late so not exactly busy. I'm just sitting alone in the security office like usual. Only issue is boredom.

Ass Effect: You're alone, right?

God of Whore: Yeah. They leave the store guard alone all night.

Ass Effect: *bubblebutt.jpg*

God of Whore: Chiaki!

Ass Effect: it misses you :*(

God of Whore: Fuck are you trying to get me fired?

Ass Effect: would you be home more if you did?

God of Whore: Haha.

Ass Effect: May I please see my best friend? Since you are alone.

God of Whore: I hate that you typed formally when you asked

God of Whore: *dickpic.png*

Ass Effect: :))))))

God of Whore: Happy?

Ass Effect: very

Ass Effect: i wish there was two of you so i could always keep one around whenever i need to fuck

Ass Effect: *angryhornygamerbitch.jpg*

Ass Effect: because i want your night shifts to be working on me

God of Whore: …God I love my slut wife.

Ass Effect: <3

God of Whore: Ever thought about introducing a third for sex stuff?

Ass Effect: you've seen my search history

God of Whore: Fair lol. But it could be a fun foreplay activity. Finding someone like me to be my “clone”, as you put it.

Ass Effect: you mean I can finally see my coworkers dick?

God of Whore: …why am I not surprised that you thought about this often?

Ass Effect: dont judge

Ass Effect: makoto looks like you

Ass Effect: but like 10 years younger and a twink

God of Whore: I guess that means my whore wants to be leant out huh?

Ass Effect: you know it~

Ass Effect: though just for foreplay

Ass Effect: i doubt his dick will get me as horny as yours

God of Whore: If you insist. But do you know how to convince him?

Ass Effect: nicknames not just for show babe ;)

Ass Effect: ill just wear booty shorts to work tomorrow and he will definitely join us the same night

Ass Effect: see you tomorrow <3

God of Whore: <3!

[10/5, 1:34 AM, private DM]

Ass Effect: *lookmomnewsunglasses.jpg*

God of Whore: You really like that picture huh?

Ass Effect: it's two dicks covering my eyelids

Ass Effect: 18 year old me would have exploded

God of Whore: Like your coworker friend did in you, Ms. “Foreplay only”?

Ass Effect: shut

Ass Effect: how was I supposed to know his dick was bigger than yours?

Ass Effect: but not as thick as you bb <3

God of Whore: Trust me my ego is not that fragile lol. Plus, you had fun, so I'm happy!

Ass Effect: id also an ego if my dick looks liked that

Ass Effect: *lookmombothhands.jpg*

God of Whore: How many of the photos I took did you save?

Ass Effect: mahiru really taught you how to take good ones

Ass Effect: like this one

Ass Effect: *lookbabehesinmyass.jpg*

God of Whore: You’re having a little too much fun with these jpeg names.

God of Whores: Like Makoto had a little too much fun in your ass ;)

Ass Effect: gjeignsndlvngeijgirgjisndogkfojeojnrgndf

Ass Effect: no fair

Ass Effect: winky faces and flirting are my special moves

Ass Effect: you cant make me horny with them >:{

God of Whore: Awwww. What, miss my dick? Or do you want more “foreplay” with your friend again?

Ass Effect:...

God of Whore: Really babe?!?

Ass Effect: :3

God of Whore: God, what am I ever going to do with you? Well if I’m at work and you ever need it…

Ass Effect: :D

God of Whore: Oh, you know I could never say no to you, my greedy little whore.

Ass Effect: fuck yes

Ass Effect: tho only foreplay this time

Ass Effect: i doubt i could get off with just him there

God of Whore: If you say so.

Ass Effect: i do

Ass Effect: trust me

[10/6, 12:04 AM, private DM]

God of Whore: How’s the “foreplay” going?

Ass Effect: PISHGORSHFEOFJFIDJBSI

Ass Effect: FUCK HE’S SO BIG

God of Whore: There’s the bitch I love.

[7m7n7]

@cosmicjoke still shitting his diapers fighting air. mr incel, you're literally fighting your limited af imagination, projecting AND PROJECTING AGAIN DOING NOTHING ELSE. anyway, nobody even gives a fuck about what you're saying, so eh lmfao

FYI, the only one who doesn't love levi here is YOU. you want him hurt, that's what gets you off. the only thing you care about is pretending he's a holy jesus figure bc you wanna feel like the moral person yourself stanning the "person who can't do no wrong", i guess real life really showed what a trashbag you are to you for you to be desperate for it, eh? no one who feels an ounce of sympathy for a character is gonna write them get gangraped and tortured. it's pretty fucking simple and anyone with more than one braincell can understand that. :) love how you try to defend your disgusting ass by saying you "don't romanticize" it. DUH bitch, why would you? when does the SADIST romanticize abuse LMFAOOOO 💀all you are is a lifeless idiot preaching morality all day long to five even more jobless weirdos who are dumb enough to listen to you. you should thank eruris for attacking every rando opinion bc without them bashing on you, you wouldn't even get in the radar of those 5 people.

anyway, you're just there *again* getting assmad and trying to find excuses to demonize straight women bc our takes ruin YOUR gross whump fantasy of levi taking up the ass from hideous men and getting reduced to a pathetic woobie constantly having panic attacks and getting subjected to worst torture. you just are too cowardly to admit openly that you hate fangirls (even tho it's obvious as HELL) bc there's no other place you can hope to get support (not that you even get measly amount you used to anymore lolol) bc erushits don't want your rancid ass either, which is HILARIOUS.

btw, if you care about levi's kindness and heroism, why do you never write about him being an amazing strong hero figure? bc i promise you i'd love that ☺️ why is it always levi getting raped, tortured, being pathetic about someone (shitwin in this case ofc), being completely incapable and weak? hmm its ALMOST like you just don't have him to have any *gasp* POWER and you get off to his suffering 😮

also, it's kinda funny how there's only one thing you say about me that's accurate and that's me being a huge dick to erushits, but even that you can't get right fully bc you have this wild notion about me being mean to "levi bloggers" bitch WHAT levi bloggerS. im ACTUALLY asking. there's only your uglyass who's a solo stan here 😂 not even on twitter i beefed with those (also rancid) socalled solo stans until now bc unlike some of you morons i choose my battles💀 but yeah, you're a halfwit little roach, so that's not surprising that you have NO idea about who you're even beefing with lmfao.

also

D E A D A S S hilarious. i actually laughed. like WHAT do you think will happen my little roach 💀 do you realize i wrote that MYSELF WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS on a PUBLIC post that was reblogged from YOU? are you actually braindead enough to think i give a fuck what you post there about me? the only reason i don't say certain risky things is to not get nuked LMFAOOOOOOOOOO 💀 and idk what kind of boomer bullshit is this talking abt them as "admins" as if its a forum and thinking they'll give a fuck about your "nooesss BAN this pewson that i keep engaging with and spreading harassment campaigns for bc they dont like my bottomized wevi shit" clown💀

numerous accounts 😭 that reminded me, as much as it was fun to watch you think every anon who's hating on you that you cant get rid of had banked up thousands of accounts which was clearly giving you some cringe ego boost, let me give you a hint: you cant block *an account* by blocking an anon 🤗 kinda amazed how youve been on tumblr for YEARS and couldnt figured something so basic out. only a halfwit like you could imagine anyone getting a new acc whenever you block an anon so i laughed A LOT at you thinking that so thanks for being such an egotistical idiot 😘

were you saying you would rather d**l a hole to your s*** than talk with me? you better start dr*lling then since you LOOOOOVE engaging with me LMFAOOOOOO

[to-calm-anxiety]

about to explode

I feel very overwhelmed

a lot has happened lately

I went to celebrate my birthday this weekend, I got really really drunk and I did something terrible to me

I made out with a random dude... like that was terrible. he was really nasty, like he was trying to touch my vagina, and he was just nasty

but I couldn't stop him because I was really drunk... he took me to the club's bathroom and made me suck his dick

that was terrible and traumatic to me because I was so drunk that I just couldn't say no and I feel like he took advantage of me

I feel kinda bad with my friends too because they left me alone with him thinking I wasn't that drunk

and there were people outside of the bathroom trying to get in and pushing the door while I was still in there, and I was so embarrassed because they were laughing and saying they were gonna clap whenever I came out

i don't remember much of the night but the guy tried to make me go to his place, KNOWING I was very drunk, thank God by the time we got there I had the conscience to say no. he then took me home and tried to make me have sex with him in his car

that was horrible, I still made out with him, gave him a handjob and he was jerking off, he removed my bra and then after he came I got out of the car and started crying

I felt so nasty and idk why I did that because if I hadn't been drunk I'm 100% sure I wouldn't have done it

i hate the fact that he took advantage of me

i do feel though that this had to happened because I can't be out drinking and partying, that's not the life I want. I don't want to be making out with a bunch of random dudes

I can't help feeling nasty and embarrassed

I'm just glad that this city is huge and the possibilities of me meeting up with him again are close to zero

I didn't tell my friends that I sucked his dick. and I don't want to. I don't want them to know.

I was crying afterwards because besides the fact that I felt disgusting, I was blaming my ex, I was pissed at him

because I feel like if he we were still together none of that would've happened, I wouldn't have done that to him

I still don't want to be with anyone else, I don't want to kiss anybody else, I don't want to date anyone else, I wouldn't have gotten that drunk, I would've went home earlier and none of that would've happened

I hate what he did, I hate that he didn't fight for us, he didn't try to get me back, he just gave up

i want to talk to him so badly. but I don't think I should. he did nothing to fix what he broke. he doesn't deserve me, I deserve better.

i kind of want to message him and just ask him how he's doing. but at the same time, I feel like the answer I'm hoping for is for him to tell me that he misses me and that he's not ok. However, knowing him, and his ego, he will probably say he's doing just fine.

or he will take forever to reply. and I'm not ready for that.

I have to understand that the conversation I'm playing in my head won't happen. he won't admit he's not doing right.

I need to let him go.

I know grief is a process. I have to keep being strong and working on myself. but whenever I'm alone with my thoughts, I cant help but hate him and miss him at the same time.

I just wish he knewww what he lost. I think he does but at the same time it's like, bruh please work on yourself. grow up. grow some balls. be a man.

[velunas]

Now give us some post AMA'S sex with yeonjun 🤯

LORDDDDDD.... tw mention of daddy kink !

oh he's gonna be so cocky all day. yeonjun is naturally a tease, but on that specific day he cranks it up to a 10 for sure. he looked so fucking good and he knew it. he would keep his hands on you all day leading up to the event, making you sit in his lap while he talks with the boys and even keeping his hands on the inside of your thighs up until he's leaving. he would absolutely text you the entire time he was gone too. stuff like "can't wait till this shit is over so i can fuck my pretty girls brains out" or "only thing i can think about right now is your pretty pussy. you wet for me baby?". sorry not sorry but he'd probably make you call him daddy too just because of how inflated his ego is, even though they lost the award. even though he would be domming you, he'd have you on top of him. don't think just because you're on top that you'd be able to control the pace, because he would not let that shit slide. he's the type to make you sit on his dick without letting you move and play with your clit, and if you cum without his permission, he's either going to overstimulate you till you cant remember your own name, or you're getting edged until your legs are numb. all in all he's a huge tease and won't let you out of his bed for HOURS.

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

Liam ~Dick Master~ Dunbar

one of my favorite cursed ass headcannons:

concept: liams favorite hobby is drawing the most disgusting dick’s EVERYWHERE & nobody in the pack can figure out it’s him ( besides theo )

# it’s dicking season where common phrases include:

getting dicked

dickings

and they are all in fear of proclaimed dick master ,, liam’s secret alter ego

dick season is an unreasonable time

liam has no mercy

your favorite shoes, massive dick. your face? dicked. the backside of your shampoo bottle, yes there is a massive penis there.

it’s absolutely horrendous

stiles puts together ~penis patrol~

THEY CANNOT FATHOM THAT IT’S LIAM

so a full on fbi level investigation ensues when it starts to get bad

they assume that it’s corey for awhile ,, and then lydia and then theo accuses stiles himself ,, that doesn’t end well

the penis patrol investigates half the group and certain people ( just lydia ) get extremely angry that they are accused of being the dick masted

the crime board is heavily used again

this is a very sacred group ,, it’s just to out of hand. scott claims that “this is some anuk-ite level anxiety”

malia decides to bring the pack to the sheriff station because- “this is too much, we are getting dicked and it needs to stop!! sheriff stilinksi, it’s relentless i can’t stop getting horribly dicked! WE DONT KNOW WHO IS DICKING ALL OF US”

therefore, sheriff and parrish both get dicked

parrish gets it like on the forehead ,,

HE HAS NO IDEA HOW ??

and malia calls the fbi ,, stiles has to explain why are young lady, cleaning to know him called his office in particular and said, and i quote

“PLEASE HELP, HE WONT STOP! THE DICKS WONT STOP THEY JUST KEEP COMING! I CANT SEE ONE MORE PENIS”

she reEALLY HATES THE DICKS

anything goes during dick season

like the side of dereks building, massive dick

theo finds out on like the second day

part of this includes theo pulling a lot of the reigns on the whole operation

he gives liam some direction, as one ex-villain woul when mischief ensues

he gives liam the idea to dick theo and himself so nobody gains suspicion

as well as the genius idea to stop and start dicking’s randomly ,, so for either three months it’s relentless than nothing for another three. four weeks here and there.

the pack knows never to get to relaxed

obscure dicks include: isaacs scarfs, bleached into malias fur, tanned on the back of lydias leg while she is sun bathing and the side of mason’s car

this includes a huge debate on whether they should dick the jeep, and if they do should theos truck get dicked

it definitely does

brett gets dicked so much in the beginning ( what do you mean he’s dead ?? )

theo eventually takes control on that one or else people will really think it’s liam

theo makes liam a dick stamp for efficiency

this goes on for YEARS

theo is the only reason they aren’t caught

every few months it starts again and once one person is dicked they all scream in fear ,, running as far away from each other as possible

it goes as far as dereks tattoo getting vandalized into a dick ,,

they have no idea how he managed that one

for such a mess of a boy he is stealthy

and relentless ,, homie uses sharpies

the first time ~the phrase~ getting dicked is used is directed at liam himself

“liam got dicked” ,, mASON SCREAMS

STILES IS IN A STATE OF UNBELIEVABLE DISGUST !! he hears this from upstairs and assUmes the worst ,, the worst meaning theo raeken

the phrase catches on from there

the only positive is the swear jar getting filled so much that they eat very well

scott only figures it out because he sees that in the very scrap book scott has- liams name is signed in dicks ( in the same way lydia writes stiles using just the word mischief in season 6 )

it’s liams name,, just in dicks

very specific looking dicks only the dick master himself would draw

like a signature

also yes, you heard that right scott does have a scrap book

he doesn’t say anything though. he thinks it’s funny

liam eventually reveals himself whilst drunk

nobody believes him until he has to draw a dick on someone to reveal it’s him

cause nobody draws one quite like liam dunbar

coach knows because the whole pack watches the lacross games, during dick season the are a rowdy bunch and he hears all about it

he knows it’s liam, of course he does. it’s coach

so like half the team gets dicked

coach specifically recommends people he wants to get dicked

it’s amazing

liam eventually gives up after they know it’s him ( or at least to the same extent, stiles gets dicked every now and then )

he does request that “Liam Dunbar, the Dick Master” to be etched into his gravestone

mind you, this is half of the reason thiam happens. the dickings bring them closer together.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

[hermannsthumb]

HORNY NEWT/HERMANN ASKS IVE GOTTEN since october PART TWO (there are like 50 here)

part one found here

18+ below cut

SECTION A: BIG DICK HERMANN

Anonymous said: (in ref to this fic) As ;) revenge ;) for Hermann lovingly teasing Newt about Newt's nature show as a child, Newt finds a safari hat and pretends to film a segment on The Rare and Lovely Hermann Mathematician. Stuff like "Much of the Hermann's appearance is used to attract a mate: his elegantly angular bone structure, his soft and brown doe eyes, his beautifully pale complexion, his impossibly long limbs, his thin frame perfect for cuddling and carrying, his enormous cock..." "NEWTON!" "You started this!"

Anonymous said: Okay but the first time Newt saw Hermann's dick, Newt came in his pants a little because Newt is a damn size queen and Hermann is hung asf. Newt just can't stop imagining pinning Hermann to the bed and riding that giant cock. Hermann doesn't even know that his dick is huge until Newt tells him it is. "Jeez, no wonder you wear those baggy grandpa pants. It must be a fucking hassle to find pants that fit comfortably over this behemoth."

Anonymous said: Newt convinces Hermann to wear short shorts while Hermann does yoga. Newt's shorts are a little baggy on Hermann, but Newt is still getting quite an eyeful (the shorts can't contain Hermann's massive dick. It's true and we both know it. Also Hermann has to wear extra soft tank tops when he does yoga, because of his extremely sensitive nipples)

SECTION B: roleplay.........

Anonymous said: (re: any number of herm centric sickfic/hospital fic ive written LOL i cant remember which) As soon as Hermann's all better, Newt still insists that Hermann take it easy. Newt puts on a slutty little nurse uniform and orders Hermann to "Please just lie back, Dr. Gottlieb. I believe a ~very thorough~ examination is in order. Just to be safe, of course." "Of course." "Poor dear! Are you nervous? Do you need to hold my hand?"

Anonymous said: Newmann and roleplay. Newt loves how passionate Hermann is about space. So Newt dresses up as a sexy alien (because of course Newt would) and asks Hermann (the very handsome human space explorer) to please undress. "My race is very curious to about human anatomy, Dr. Gottlieb. And with such an aesthetically pleasing specimen! Oh, how can I resist? Please? It's for science."

Anonymous said: One of the nicest surprises after they're married is that they both still have wet dreams about each other. Newt grinds up against Hermann's cute flat ass like "Oh, Professor Gottlieb, I'm so sorry! Please, I'll do anything to earn your forgiveness!"; and Hermann rubs his big dick against Newt's lovely bubble butt like "Oh, thank you, Doctor Geiszler, you're so kind to me! Please use me however you wish!" (Newt has a sexy professor kink and Hermann has a Newt controlling him kink.)

Anonymous said: Newt (greaser au or otherwise) SO has a thing for Hermann as a librarian. “Hermann, can I please dress you up as a slutty librarian? And then I’ll fuck you as hard as you like, as an apology. You know, because I’m a terrible patron. I’ve never returned a book on time, and I have a nasty habit of dog earrings pages.” “Is that so?” “Honestly, I don’t know WHY you put up with me. Don’t you want to give me a chance to make it up to you? I’m the ;)best;) at apologies.”

Anonymous said: I read your most recent newmann Halloween fic, and I *LOVE* the idea of them roleplaying with Hermann as the slutty little lab aid who needs Dr. Geiszler's firm hand to guide him. I can just imagine! "Mr. Gottlieb, would you like to explain why I caught you in the lab with your hand down your pants?" "Dr. Geizsler, I'm so sorry! *Please* don't report me!"

Anonymous said: I love that Newt says he loves dressing slutty for Hermann. That's such a Newt thing to say. Also, please consider Newt dressing as a slutty schoolgirl for Hermann. "Professor Gottlieb, PLEASE! I'll do anything to pass this class! I'm sorry for being so disruptive! I just wanted to get your attention. It's not my fault, Professor! I get all these naughty thoughts about you and then I can't concentrate!"

Anonymous said: Another anons have mentioned Newt having a professor kink, but you know what else Newt has? An ego. So sometimes, NEWT is the professor. So sometimes Hermann will come to Newt. & Hermann's dressed like a proper British schoolboy. & Hermann's like "Professor Geiszler, *PLEASE* dont fail me! I'll earn extra credit ~however~ I can!" & Hermann bats his long beautiful eyelashes. & Newt's like "Well, come here and prove your eagerness to learn, Mr. Gottlieb." And Hermann is a good, obedient schoolboy.

Anonymous said: omg. that ask that referenced phantom of the opera. newt donning a mask and cape and entering the bedroom like "my dearest hermann...i have come to steal you away" "have you now?" "yes! you shall be mine and mine alone forever!" "oh, how positively dreadful" "you will come with me now! come with me and let me ravish you as you deserve to be ravished!" and hermann is so fondly amused. "oh dear, i suppose i have no choice. i'll do whatever you ask of me, mr. phantom, sir."

SECTION C: Newt’s Butt

Anonymous said: Newton using his adorable bubble butt to his advantage. Bending over in from of Hermann. Asking Hermann to get something from his (Newt's) back pocket (because "sorry, my hands are full"). Newt's favorite way to tease Hermann is to ask "Can you check my butt for panty lines? My jeans are really tight, and I wore those panties you really like, and I just wanna make sure they aren't visible. *bends over to display his butt* Make sure you're REAL thorough when you check."

Anonymous said: NEWTON: Imma get "Property of Hermann" tattooed on my ass. // HERMANN: Please don't. // NEWTON: I'm not gonna, lol. I just wanted to see your reaction. But seriously - this? *smacks his own ass* Is totally your property, babe.

vitamine-dude said: Chalk anon is good.... Also... Hermann slapping Newt's ass with the palm of his hand covered in chalk... 👀 😂

Anonymous said: Hermann has a love-hate relationship with Newt's skinny jeans. He loves them because his Newty got a booty, but also? How is poor Hermann supposed to get any work done with such a lovely distraction? "Aw, poor Herms! Is my ass keeping you from your work? Maybe my butt need to be taught a lesson. You could always use your big sexy hands." "You could at least TRY to be subtle!"

SECTION D: HERMANN’S butt

Anonymous said: Hermann can never wear his skinny jeans out in public because Hermann in skinny jeans renders Newt incapable of keeping his grabby little hands off Hermann's cute little butt.

Anonymous said: Hermann can't get over how gorgeous and adorable Newt looks in his sexy-slutty little Oktoberfest dirndl. "Newton, your skirts just BARELY cover your rear!" "How's that a problem? Yesterday you said my ass was, and I quote, 'plump and perfectly round'." "You are still being indecent!" "Aww, what are you gonna do? Put me over your knee? By the way, is that something I can do to you? Will your leg be okay if I put you over my knee? Because I'd *LOVE* to spank your adorable little flat butt."

SECTION E: you guys are ALSO really horny for hermann’s nips (no judgement whatsoever...very *chefs kiss*

Anonymous said: The moment Newt discovers how sensitive Hermann's nipples are, Newt is merciless. Newt will just spend his sweet time nosing at and nuzzling and licking and kissing and nibbling at Hermann's nipples. Meanwhile, poor Hermann is a panting, writhing mess, just begging Newt to please touch him where he needs to be touched. "Oh, Hermann! All this just from me playing with your cute little nipples? You're adorable. Oh, such a sweet, needy boy, aren't you?"

Anonymous said: Hermann wear baggy shirts and sweaters because he has sensitive nipples. If his shirts are too tight, then he can't concentrate on anything besides the feel of the fabric against his nipples. Once he and Newt get together, and Newt figures this out, Newt is always trying to get Hermann to wear tight shirts, at least in their quarters/apartment/house. Also, Newt likes to tease Hermann by tying him to the bed and running a feather over Hermann's nipples.

Anonymous said: Once newmann get together, it doesn't take long for Newt to figure out how sensitive Hermann's nipples are, a fact that Newt very happily exploits. Newt's such a little shit about it too. He'll run his tongue of Hermann's nipples until Hermann is writhing uncontrollably and begging Newt to please PLEASE fuck him already. "I dunno, babe, you seem awfully worked up. Maybe I should wait until you've calmed down a little." "Newton, PLEASE!" (1/2) (2/2) Also Newt loves to tease Hermann about this. "Alright, whatever you say, baby. Such a sensitive boy, aren't you? Seriously, all I have to do is LOOK at your cute little nipples and you start begging me to please fuck your cute little ass." "Newton!" "No need to blush, we both know it's true. Now come on, legs over my shoulders, that's it, that's a good boy."

SECTION F: more dominant/possessive (like in a sexy way) newt

Anonymous said: Hermann really really loves bottoming/submitting from time to time. Just letting Newt pick him up and move him so Newt can have his way with Hermann. Especially when it comes to roleplaying scenes where Newt says things like "You're too pretty to be such a naughty slut." and "You're being so good, taking me so well, you're such a good boy." and "You're always wound so tight, let's see if we can't fuck some of that stress out of you, handsome."

Anonymous said: One of Hermann's biggest kinks? Having Newt fuck him good and hard, while Newt says things like " 'Dr. Gottlieb', ha! Anyone with any observational skills at all knows you by your more appropriate title: Dr. Geiszler's precious, pretty little sweetheart. You're a brilliant scientist and mathematician, obviously, but you're also obviously MINE. Do you hear me, Hermann? You're my pretty boy. Just mine. I don't share my beautiful, brilliant boy with anyone. You're all mine."

Anonymous said: Hermann doesn't actually WANT to be caught, but he loves the idea, the sexy little fantasy, of someone seeing him being fucked hard by Newt, because he loves being Newt's and having everyone know that he's Newt's. Newt teases him about it sometimes. "Aw, you big softie! You just want everyone to know that you're mine, that's so sweet. Maybe I'll start writing 'Property of Newt' on the back of all your pants. Then everyone will know that the world's prettiest mathematician is mine and mine alone"

Anonymous said: Whenever they have to get a hotel room or make a reservation at a restaurant, Hermann always puts the reservation under the name "Hermann Geiszler", because he knows it's the easiest way to get Newt to fuck him good and hard. Newt loves it. "You may still be Hermann Gottlieb legally, but in reality? You're absolutely Hermann Geiszler. You're my man, my husband, my pretty boy. Only mine, right?" "Yes, of course, only yours." "Good boy, Hermann. Now let's get you undressed."

SECTION G: miscellaneous

Anonymous said: Precursor Hermann, but Newt does believe for a second that Hermann would leave him without so much as a goodbye. Newt's all "Look, whatever forces are possessing the love of my life! Hermann is a gentleman! He might be a cranky, irritable, bitchy old dude, but he would NEVER leave me without saying so! Hermann just doesn't operate like that! So! Y'all wanna get out of my man, or do I need to fuck you outta him? I mean, he's getting fucked by me anyway; I just wanna know the order of events here"

Anonymous said: omg if hermann ever said the word "dude", newt would just immediately drop to his knees and ask hermann if he could pretty please unzip his pants and let newt suck his dick pretty pretty please

Anonymous said: (re: this comic) That comic reminded me of one of my fave newmann headcanons: after their first time having sex together, Hermann is utterly MORTIFIED because he was so damn loud. Honestly, Hermann always thought screaming during sex was an exaggeration. Then he had sex with Newt. And he learned that it is NOT an exaggeration. "Newton, oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!" "Sorry?! Baby, are you sorry? That was so hot. Imma work to make you scream again and again and again and again forever."

Anonymous said: Hermann USED to wear boxers, but Newt insists on Hermann wearing tighty-whiteys because "I don't want your underwear covering any more of your sexy legs than is necessary. I gotta have those hot supermodel legs exposed, baby. They demand to be groped."

Anonymous said: (re: this fic i think....) Newt-on-painkillers asks a nurse "Hey, where's the hottie with the sexy sharp cheekbones?" & the nurse is like "He stepped out to get you a snack. I didn't understand everything he said, but he definitely mentioned some kind of German pastry." "Holy shit, he's the perfect man." (When Hermann finally gets to take Newt home, Newt's in the passenger seat all "As soon as we're in our bedroom, I'm gonna ride your dick so good, baby. No amount of painkillers could make me forget how to fuck you good."

Anonymous said: Ur fic abt newmann making a porn reminded me of 1 of my fav newmann headcanons: Newt loves to tease Hermann abt what a successful porn star he (H) would be. "Oh, just think of how much money I could make frm recording u: sexy physicist fingers himself! Adorable scientist begs to be fucked! Pretty lil mathematician begs for permission to come! Willowy scientist gets his nipples played with&wakes up the entire country with his slutty lil screams! Scientist presents his ass for a thorough fucking!"

Anonymous said: (no additonal commentary required) Newt: I'm young, dumb, and full of cum!

Anonymous said: Hermann managing to fuck the Precursors out of Newton, who tries to have Hermann awarded some sort of medal of valor.

Anonymous said: One time Newmann tried switching it up, having Newt ignore Hermann while Hermann pleasured Newt. It didn't work because Newt has no self control and he wouldn't stop petting Hermann's hair and moaning and hollering about how good and pretty and perfect Hermann is.

Anonymous said: (re i think this fic? i write so much hospital bedside fic...) The first time they have sex after Newt's finally been released from medical, Hermann is just all kinds of sweet and gentle with him. "Is this too much, darling?" and "Calm yourself, liebling. Let me do the work." and "Slow down, sweet boy. You're going to hurt yourself." Eventually Newt's like "I'm not gonna break, babe! Lemme just..." "Shh, next time you can be as rough as you want with me." "Promise?" "I promise." "Next time I'm gonna fuck you so hard, baby."

Anonymous said: Newton making it his new job to make sure that Hermann has ALL of his needs seen to is my new jam. Like, he's still objectively obnoxious but now with a side order of willingness to fuck his math husband raw whenever he asks for it.

Anonymous said: Newt riding Hermann's dick and, between sighs & moans & gasps, saying all the sappy lovey-dovey things he wants with Hermann. "We're gonna have a cute little cottage somewhere secluded with lots of cats! And I'll chop plenty of firewood to keep you warm! I'll be your personal lumberjack! All I'll provide you with all the beautiful dresses and warm clothes you could ever need! And we'll have a huge library! And you'll want for nothing!" And Hermann's just like "Yes, that sounds perfect, darling."

Anonymous said: Newt bending Hermann over a desk/their bed. Gently petting Hermann's hair and softly kissing Hermann's shoulderblades. All while he (Newt) pounds into Hermann's sexy flat ass. "Hermann baby you feel so good I love you so much I love all your little gasps and moans and how you can't keep your hips still and you're always so beautiful but this is the beauty that only I get to see when you're a wild moaning mess oh god you're gonna get the nicest bath after this get you all cleaned up for bedtime."

Anonymous said: (re: this ask) Oh man imagine how absolutely slutty Newton would get on Snapchat if he thought that Hermann wasn't picking up what he was laying down (meanwhile Hermann is going through multiple boxes of tissues because of the constant blood nose, he's constantly in a state of arousal, everything reminds him of Newton, just hearing the Snapchat notification is enough to turn him on).

Anonymous said: Newt usually loves parties, but once he and Hermann get together, he always passes on new year's parties. Like, why go to a new year's party when he could instead ring in the new year by fucking Hermann senseless? And of course spoiling him in all kinds of soft sweet ways as well.

Anonymous said: NEWT: "Hermann, babe, I know you're not as into Halloween as I am, but do I still get my Halloween ;)treat;) from you?" HERMANN: "...You might, if I had any idea what you're referring to." NEWT: "Ugh, how can you be so smart, and still so clueless? I want to blow you!" HERMANN: "Oh! Well, far be it from me to object..." NEWT: "But I wanna dress you up first! Because it's in the Halloween spirit, and also I found an extra lacy corset that I really REALLY wanna see you in!" Also, Newt's biggest weakness in regards to Hermann in corsets, is Hermann in corsets with big bows on the lower back. Newt loves anything that draws attention to Hermann's precious, perfect flat butt.

Anonymous said: A while ago you said something about Newt having both a praise kink AND a shame kink, and I think Hermann would be perfect at fulfilling Newt's needs there. "Newton, you're such a sweet and pretty boy. Why do you insist on acting like such a little tart?" and "There we are, darling. Can you come for me like the sweet, filthy boy you are?" and "You're such a darling little slut."

Anonymous said: Newt totally gets panties that say "Property of Doctor Hermann Gottlieb"

[athena1138]

Damn good dream

Impoverished mortal civilization. Main char is daughter of the king, scrappy, thinks they should rebel. Is in relationship with general's son but she's not really into it.

Father wants to keep licking the boots of the gods even though their people are starving and sick and dying. Then he gets sick, so she's kind of in charge with the general co-ruling but he gets killed in battle so it's her and the general's idiot son (im 99% sure it was thor in my dream)

Every year there's a celebration for the gods where they come down and spend the day with the mortals, and it's like a year long planning event but no one actually likes it because it's a huge drain on resources and there's no room for personal growth. This year especially, blight took out too many crops and with the king dying there isn't much else they can do.

Well the gods come. Their king looks around and is super upset that it's not some bumpin party, demands to know wtf is up. Princess goes off. "We're starving. Our people are ill. We don't have the time or patience to put up false tribute to please your arrogant ass" and he gets PISSeD. "You dare speak to me thusly? Blah blah blah" he ends up smacking thr shit out of her in front of the people.

Now, the people LOVE this bitch. She knows every single one of her denizens on sight, spends time with them, has spent the last few years learning medicine to help stave off this mysterious disease.

So they're pissed. Thorboy is like "hey now, she didnt mean it like that--" but she shoves him and says "shut up pussy you dont speak for me, i absolutely did mean it like that" and gets up in the gods face. "We bow to you no longer."

War. Instantly. The king is like "thats disappointing. Looks like another crop to cull, friends" and raises his hand to command his (small, like 20 people, but they're gods so cmon) entourage to attack.

Mortals have been prepping for something like this, just in case. The tension with the gods had been a long time coming and they kinda knew this would be how it would go down.

They manage to do pretty well against them, and the main show down is the princess vs the king and she's still standing by the time he realizes that 4 of his friends have been slain (with 2 dozen humand but still) and he's like "enough it's not worth it let's go. We'll be back" and peaces out

The mortals start actively planning their rebellion now. The general's boy is furious, goes off on her, "we cant betray them! They've done so much for us!"

She goes, "you can stand with me or against me, dick. But if you stand against me, our engagement is off" and he looks so torn because the dumbass thinks he's actually in love with her. Begrudglingly he standss with her.

The gods come back a few weeks later, in larger numbers. Their own princess is with them. It's this big showdown in the dead field. There's a battle, both sides lose a lot before the king makes what would've been a death blow against the main girl, but his daughter throws herself in the way to stop him. Hes pissed and confused and like "WHAT THE FUCK" and shes like "is it so important for your ego to be stroked that its worth killing off your only flock rather than help them?"

King is like "they failed and turned against me what else am i meant to do?"

"Let me stay and help them."

"But daughter"

"Please. Let me help them."

"Fine. But we'll be back" and he takes the general's son hostage and they leave.

The princesses are left alone, breathless and exhilarated.

Time skip bc im late to work

A year has passed. The god's daughter started out thinking this was just a wayward flock, incapable of actually wanting to be free, confused, but she has come to see their desire to be free. They have inventors and scientists and all these things beyond farmers that shes amazed. The king dies of his illness and the princess is coronated to queen. And the people begin to thrive again under her rule.

The gods come back a year later but they still havent prepared a feast. There's another war, this one even more in the mortals' favor with the creation of gunpowder and the god princess on their side. She's still on the fence at this point but leans towards the mortals more than the gods.

Again the gods leave, after the princess begs one more year, but its not just bc she wants to watch these people grow anymore. She has a deep personal interest in them

And in the queen

But the queen isnt interested in her, says she has to focus on the people she loves and that the princess could never understand

Except she does. She begins to form connections, friendships with the mortals, and about 6mo into this final year, the queen realizes it and is touched

3mo of flirting. Queen goes to talk to the princess about the preparations for the next battle and theres something the princess says that makes her heart flutter. She leaves, gets about halfway home, then turns around and runs back and jumps into the princess's arms and kisses her hard.

In front of a group of people. Sheepish and emvarrassed, she clears her throat and goes, "it was a moment" and walks off.

They get together.

By the time the gods come, they've decided they're in love.

There's another battle but the princess takes what would have been a killing blow for rhe queen. The god king is devastated, drops his hammer immediately and begs her forgiveness. She tells him to leave these people alone, and to ler her stay. Because shes in love.

And its like lil mermaid where he realizes she really is and is touched and gives her mortality so she can have a life with the mortal queen and they live happily ever after the end

[teen-titans-imagines]

The Batboys As Dads [Headcanons]

Since me and @loudmouthwally have been screaming about dad! Dick and dami and such, I decided to write headcanons after she suggested it to me. As always: reader insert 😎

Dick Grayson

He honestly wasn't sure on being a dad

But when he laid his eyes on you, his daughter/son, he was absolutely ready to fight everyone who had any second thoughts about you.

Dick Grayson was ready to lay down everything for you. Even leave the mantle of Nightwing to someone else, because jesus christ, you were so important to him. (And still are)

Dick Grayson is a playful man, and if you think he wouldn't hit himself on the head with a skillet to make you laugh, you are very, v e r y mistaken.

As you grow up, there is one thing you learn about Dick Grayson.

Dick is a dad joke within himself.

Dad jokes for d a y s.

There is no escaping them.

"I had a scarecrow friend try out for stand up comedy, but the audience thought he was too corny."

"I'm calling the police on you for harassment."

Despite Dick being a silly dad, he is also very protective.

No boys/girls until you are dead.

Actually, no wait, nope, not even in the afterlife.

He will stalk you while on your dates, being as obvious yet hard to spot as possible.

Dick is the waiter, the random guy you bump into on the street, the carnival's janitor.

He's fucking everywhere, man, don't even try to kiss your date because Daddy Dearest will know. In a heartbeat.

#GroundedForKissingMyBoyfriendAfterFindingOutMyDadWasSpyingOnUsAftetHeFELLFROMTHEDAMNTREESCREAMINGBLOODYMURDER #IWANNANEWDAD #JASONBEMYNEWDAD

Despite all the crap he puts you through, Dick loves you very much and just wants the best for you, and that includes a happy life and childhood. He knows that you can lose a lot in a blink of an eye, and he wants you to be happy.

Yet, while he holds a superhero job, it can be pretty straining on your relationship as father and daughter/son.

Just know Dick loves you very much, even if he is a pain in the ass crack.

Jason Todd

If there is one thing Jason Todd does not know how to do, it is Parenting 101.

Please send help. He has no idea how to even wrap a diaper on a child, let alone r a i s e one.

Jason had to have Dick help him out a lot little.

However, after a while, Jason fell into a good routine after doing a lot of research and hands-on learning.

He totally owns one of those 'Parenting for Dummies' books but will completely deny any kind of knowledge about it should anybody find it (demon spawn from hell aka damian fucking wayne)

Spending time with you, Red Hood later. ALWAYS.

He honestly adores you.

You are his everything and if there's one thing Jason never thought he would have wanted until now, it is definitely you.

Instantaneous Death to anybody who even mentions your existence.

Jason Todd Will Not Hesitate, Bitch^TM

He actually snapped at a woman who said she could just 'eat you up'

"Yeah, well, we don't believe in cannibalism, so."

Jason definitely sings you to sleep, and is proud, even touched, that you will raise hell if he fails to sing you to sleep right on schedule.

As you grow and get into school, Jason is quick to teach you self defense.

And taught you that all boys had a contagious virus and to punch any that tried to kiss you or hold your hand. (Female)

And taught you that girls were the devils spawn and were to be avoided at all cost (Male)

You once got suspended for calling the teacher an 'asshat'. Jason was lowkey sort of proud. Dick wasn't amused.

You have a white streak in your hair, and when you need to be with your father, he will play with that lock of hair.

You and Jason are exactly alike, with some different attributes. But that doesn't make you any less of a Todd.

Your damian's favorite. Just saying.

Tim Drake

You were definitely not what Tim Drake was expecting.

But definitely everything he wanted.

If there is one thing you both know how to do, it's complain.

"Oh my god, I did literally everything the books told me to do. Why are you still c r y i n g???"

"...WAH-"

*slams head into desk*

Tim swears that if he wasn't a coffee addict then, he fucking is now.

No sleep. At all. You give him too much shit.

Jason thinks it's hysterical because you seem to be Karma in a onesie for all the times Tim was a little shit to him.

Tim loves you to the moon and back, but you never fail to irk at least one of his remaining nerves that still works.

P r o b l e m a t i c C h i l d r e n

Yes, that means Tim and you.

Did he give you a bath just now? No the fuck he didn't. Did he just clean the high chair? No the fuck he didnt, bitch. Did he just change your diaper? Come back, bitch. It's a shitstorm in here, and you're in the eye of the hurricane. Gas mask it up, son.

As you grow up, Tim wants you to get out there and do whatever. He's slightly not ok with you dating, but don't think he won't do at least 15 background checks, stake outs, securing the perimeter, interrogations, whatever. Each. 15 each.

You are a computer genius just like him, but don't spend your time on the computer all the time. Mostly just to play games here and there.

As you grow in school, there is not a single day that goes by that you absolutely loathe it.

Honestly

Why cant you just homeschool. We have the capability too.

"Who even needs human friends? Uncle Damian is doing just fine with his animals."

"He also has homicidal tendecies, so. You're gonna get some human interaction whether you like it or not."

Honestly, you and Tim butt heads all the time, but at the end of the day, you are his flesh and blood, and he will protect and love you till the world stops turning.

Damian Wayne

Let's be honest: Damian Wayne would be the most worried and/or scared person on earth if he found out he was gonna be a dad.

All these insecurities about his past, the bad memories, all of it coming back to haunt him as he thought about his child.

Damian was not ready at all.

He was honestly very weary of you. Since he didn't really get along with children, there was no way to explain to him how to raise his kid for the next eighteen years.

He realized that when he held you. Kinda like an 'aha' moment, but with an 'oh shit' instead.

After Damian warmed up to you, though, he was Dad to the Max. Spin the fucking wheel to jackpot.

Damian has very high expectations for himself as a dad. He needs to be on top of the mark at all times or he is sure he has failed you.

Damian is a perfectionist, so if he doesn't get you to calm down after screaming bloody murder on the first try, he literally wants to stab something because wtf he was sure he was doing this right.

Damian sings you to sleep. Dami has the voice of an angel when he's quietly singing and it's soothing as fuck. Never fails to make you sleepy. Add in a bit of bouncing while leaned against his shoulder and it is lights o u t.

Damian is a very teasing father, despite how serious he can be. You are the only person who he shows his soft, relaxed side too. You are his everything and he lets you know that shamelessly.

Damian will kill anybody who even dares to mention your name or make horrible implications about your existence.

That is his child and he will fuck someone up if they speak wrongly of you. Talk shit, get hit, bitches get a fucking katana to the eye.

Definition of the meme "Don't talk to me or my son ever again."

Damian Wayne Will Definitely Not Hesitate, Bitch^TM

As you grow up, Damian makes it crystal clear.

NO DATING AT ALL.

Damian is protective as fuck. He needs to know where you are, where you are going, who is going with you, who is all going to be there, how long is it gonna be, how long are you gonna be driving there, are there gonna be any boys present, Drake, would you finish the damn background checks already???

Damian is just like Dick: not even in the afterlife or the bullshit after that.

You are very much like Damian. Practically a spitting image. It makes Damian feel proud because of the Wayne Legacy that you might keep up, his ego, and the fact that his child is a badass and looks like one too.

Damian and you are not perfect, though. You two often get into arguments about certain things, usually the littlest. One of the things you two often fight about, however, is the mantle of Robin.

Huge no-no.

Noooo. No no no.

There is no way you are becoming Robin. You are his baby and he is NOT going to let some STUPID costume ruin that for him.

He can be very cold, even to you at times, and since you didn't inherit his amazing lack skill of patience, you are often calling him out on his bullshit and his attitudes.

Seriously. Who even is the adult here anymore.

You are taller than Damian. It infuriates him to no end.

"Dad, how's the weather down there?"

"gROUNDED."

At the end of the day, Damian loves you dearly and you love him dearly as well. There is never a dull moment between you two and it makes for a harmonious atmosphere. Even if you can be a pain in each other asses, Damian is sure he would be lost to the world of familial love had it not been for you.

You are his rock and he is your oasis in a barren land. Family always, always matters to you both.

[geminimoonbeamx]

Sweet Tooth: Part Two

A/N: Okay guys I’m SO into this story. I can’t wait for you guys to see what I have planned.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Cursing. Like a motherfucker. Because this is a story about Lance Tucker. Mention of slight fat shaming. Drinking and driving (which is stupid, don’t even try kiddo’s)

Summary: Lance Tucker has come back to his hometown with his ego bruised and his look on life more tainted then ever. When he runs into Y/N; a vibrant plus size woman he went to high school with at her bakery ‘Cake Faced’, he leaves the shop with the taste of sugar on his lips and a hunger that has nothing to do with the cupcakes.

💘💘💘💘💘

It had all started a couple weeks ago.

When Courtney, your best friend of nearly two decades, had sashayed into the shop, a cup holder containing two Venti coffee’s in hand. She always did this, came and distracted you at some point in the day. She claimed if she didn’t you would get completely buried in your work and she’d never see your ass again. You defend yourself of course at the jab, but weakly. Because you knew she was probably(defiantly) right.

“Hey hooker” you greet from your place, adjusting the display in the window while the store seemed to have a quiet moment, only a few costumers scattered around the place. Your short frame was balanced on a step stool as you reached up high to

“Hello gorgeousness…Why don’t you come down from there before you brake your neck. Neck braces aren’t on trend this spring” She teases, because everyone whose ever met you knows how dangerously clumsy you are. You just huff and climb down. Courtney then hands you your drink and you give her an over exaggerated groan, holding your hand to your chest and telling her that she was too good to you before taking a sip of the sweet caffeine you had desperately needed.

Thank god for Courtney- that she knows you better then you know yourself. She took time out of her own day to come check on you and ask you how yours was going, yeah it wasn’t really out of her way seeing on how she worked up the street, but still. You appreciated her more then she’d ever know, even if she had ‘momed’ you since you guys we’re teenagers.

“So how has your day been?” She’s nibbling on a coconut cream pie scone. She claimed god himself had given you the recipe for them “It looks unusually dead in here”

“It’s been aright so far, nothing too exciting. The 4 o'clock rush hasn’t happened yet so I’ve just been fucking around. Yours? Your manager still harassing that new guy?” You guys end up sitting at one of the little tables, Shane assures you that he’s got who ever might come in.

“Yeah, Patty’s still earning herself one shiner of a Law Suit. Dirty ass old woman” Courtney shakes her head at the mention of her boss, the woman was a seventy year old former play boy bunny AND the dirtiest woman either of you had ever met. “But that’s whatever. I have some major gossip”

You can tell just by the tone of her voice that what she’s about to tell you is insanely juicy.

Fun fact, you never really grow out of gossiping. Thirty(well twenty nine) years old or not, when you live in a town as small as this one, it’s just a given that every one knows everyone’s business.

“Okay why didn’t you start out with that? Spill” You demand, leaning in closer to her, anticipating her next words.

“Okay so you know how Felix used to date Sarah whose best friends with Brooklyn?” She starts and you nod. Obviously “So I guess they’re sleeping together again. I know, big shocker, and Sarah told him that Brooklyn told her that Lance is moving back in with their mom” Courtney informs you of the tabgled drama between her coworker, his ex, and Brooklyn Tucker.

You gape at that for a moment. No way. Lance Tucker, Olympic gold medalist, LANce Tucker was moving back into his parents house. How?

“No way” You decide but she just chuckles and nods.

“Yes way, dude. I guess there was some huge scandal at that gym he worked at in California. Some coach got one of the girls pregnant or something? I don’t know all of those details but what I do know is Lance the mother fucker Tucker is moving home” Courtney cackles “How hilarious, right?”

Courtney was nice…to you. To everyone else she was a bit of a bitch.

“Hilarious isn’t the word I would use. Ironic though-” You cluck your tongue. Hadn’t he always hated this town? You remember even in middle school he had been so adamant about getting out of this “suburban shithole” and going somewhere he deemed worthy of him. Him and his shiny superstar ego.

“It’s fucking fitting I think. He was always such a giant dick. Now he’s living back with his mommy? Karma really is a vicious bitch. Ha” Courtney shakes her head with a smirk and you roll your eyes.

Yeah, he’d been a huge cocksucker to everyone- you included. But losing your dream? The one you’d spent years working on? You didn’t wish that upon anyone.

“It is but how…sad” You bite your thumb nail as you mull it over.

“Sad? I mean I guess- But he’s such an asshole. Don’t you hate him?” Courtney hates you and your big bleeding heart sometimes. That guy didn’t deserve your sympathy.

“No, Court, I don’t hate him…anymore” you cant deny, there was a time when he had made you see red “He’s not my favorite person in the world. Of course not, but I don’t know. I’m an adult now-” Courtney scoffs hard at that and you fling a cupcake wrapper at her “I just don’t see the point in holding grudges anymore”

“Yeah okay” Courtney rolls her eyes as she gathers up her belongings “You keep telling yourself that, Mahatma Gandhi. Like you don’t still hate Carlos Vance for accidentally hitting you with a pencil in the 6th grade”

“He really almost blinded me and wasn’t even apologetic about it at all. Fuck him forever” You’re dead serious and it causes both of you to laugh.

“My breaks almost over, I have to run. We’re still on for Margarita’s with the girls this Friday, right?”

“Of course” You kiss each other on the cheek and you pack her another scone “for the road” before she’s hurrying out of the door. You give her reciting frame a fond smile, but continue to mull over her words. Lance was coming back. You stomach felt unsettled at that- and you hated it. You hadn’t even talked, or much less thought about him in years.

So why we’re you so…so weird about the idea of him moving back? It was stupid, really.

So you do what you did best, and buried your self in your work.

It really did help, too. Your mind is completely free of any thoughts of people you hadn’t seen in ages-

Until a few days ago.

When he had walked into your shop.

He was still the same. The way his presence seemed to fill up the entire room. That smirk and those expressive eye brows. And, because you’re not a hater, of course you’d noticed that he’d seemed to be even more in shape now then he was back in high school. His broad shoulders strained against the material of his track suit. Jeeze, he was still wearing those. Didn’t he know it was a different decade now?

So you’d taken him personally, helped him choose a cupcake and rang him up. Just being professional, you tell yourself. that was all it was.

You tried to ignore how…tired he looked. Not physically, really…but drained. His demeanor drained. It wasn’t your business, right? So you try to keep it cool, keep your self in check.

You never did have the best self control. When he’s going to leave, you call for him.

“Welcome home”

Simple words, but you hoped they might have a little impact.

His grin is still ridiculously bright and handsome, you note mentally.

Fuck. Fucking fuck.

It brings up old- feelings. Memories. Adolescent adoration and hate. It’s annoying, there’s no place for it in your adult life.

“He seems like a real winner” Shane had dead panned “Hot as hell though”

You laughed at your younger employee. You loved Shane, he’d been working for you since pretty much the moment you’d opened this place and even though he was five years your junior, he’d become a close friend “What you don’t remember Lace the mother fucker Tucker? Olympic gold medalist and grade A dick wad?”

“Nah, I remember him. That tight ass of his though, that slipped my memory”

You’d swatted Shane’s shoulder as you laughed. Little shit.

You hadn’t seen him after that, though. Not that you wanted to. Not that your eyes maybe scanned the shop for a tall head of dark hair…

You didn’t expect him to come back. Him and his athlete ways. Back in high school you remember him and his grueling diet he’d been on.

So you go about your routine, the comfortable one that you follow without even thinking about it. The one that included waking up at the crack of dawn, feeding your dog, watering your garden. Tending to the shop as though it was your child. Bullshitting with your friends.

The usual.

Your usual is broken, though, by one phone call.

It’s not even a bad phone call, so you don’t know why it throws you off so awfully. Why you feel overwhelmed and hot and near panicky as you sit at your kitchen table. But you know that you need to remedy it. With wine. Lots, and lots of wine.

Which you don’t seem to have in your house. How we’re you completely dry? What kind of blasphemy.

So you drag yourself out of your house, muttering about “fuck your life” and “Courtney’s the antichrist” because you knew that alcoholic bitch was the culprit, the wine bandit who had left you with no choice but to go to the store. At 10 O'clock. In a pair of tight leggings, an over sized sweater and ugg booties.

You’re walking lazily through the brightly lit isles of the grocery store on main street. You’ve found your wine, have it popped open, as you stress shop.

You figure you might as well get some ingredients. Plus, you needed new dish towels- and oh, we’re those Fourth of July decorations? Might as well grab em’ even though it was only Mid April.

You’re so engrossed in your task, that you don’t notice you’ve been being trailed.

Lance needed to get out of the house.

Living with his mother and sister- and Brooklyn’s two daughters was driving him nuts. Did he love them all? Yes, very much. Was he going out of his fucking mind at the overwhelming amount of female energy he was being force exposed to? Absolutely.

He was already apartment hunting.

So he’d go on drives, long ones that would take the edge off of- everything.

Re-explore this town that he seemed to know every corner of. Get to know the few parts that we’re new. But even that was getting boring.

So he decides that the only way to get through this night is drunk. Or at least buzzed. The liquor store is closed so the supermarket is the only option. Lance takes long legged strides into the all but empty store. It’s late, so no one is really there, but the one cashier working and Weird Wallace, the towns hermit who only came out at night to avoid all other human life.

Lance tips his head at the man as he makes a bee-line for the liquor section, intent on buying a twelve pack of beer and hopefully drinking everyone that night.

He doesn’t expect to see you. He catches the sight of you out of his peripheral vision. You have a wine bottle tilted all the way back, taking a gulp, before going back to your shopping.

What were you doing at the store at nearly eleven o'clock? Lance wonders with an amused grin.

He should just grab his beer and go home. That would be the smart thing to do- Buuuut, Lance really wasn’t as smart as he prided himself on being.

He’s not following you.

Not even.

He just happens to be going in the same direction as you.

Not creepy at all.

Okay- kind of creepy. Especially when you bend over to grab something off a bottom rack. Your leggings go sheer as they hug your large, round ass. He can see the outline of the little lace g string you have on and he cant help but bite his lip.

What a sight.

You always had, had a nice ass. Wide and grab-able. His fingers still itched to dig them selves into the doughy flesh.

“Well, fancy meeting you here”

The sound of his voice sends you snapping up straight fast, you almost loose your grip on the neck of the wine bottle as your heart pounds and a gasp rips it’s self from your throat. You spin on your heels to face him and he’s just standing there. In a track suit, that look- his signature smug smile gracing his features.

“Lance, you dick!” You hiss at him, holding your middle as you regain your breath “You scared the shit out of me!”

His icy eyes could make the queens guards quake in their tall black, fluffy hats. They’re so…predatory. And sharp. And beautiful.

And bold, they look you up and down unapologetically.

You swallow the rush of self consciousness that raises in your throat.

“Sorry, sugar” He doesn’t sound sorry at all “What are you doing out so late?”

“It’s not even eleven o'clock yet, Lance. It’s hardly late”

He likes your snark, It suits you. You’d never had that edge before “My mistake. It’s totally normal for people to be going shopping for-” he gazes into your shopping basket “Red, white and blue tiki torches and chardonnay in the middle of the night”

“Being normal is vastly overrated” You shrug and shift on your feet “What about you? You going to a kegger?”

He grins “Nah, I just needed a breather… you want to join me?” He holds up the case of beer in offering and you roll your eyes at him.

Hard.

“I’ll pass” you dismiss him easily, turning back to your cart “You have a good night though”

You had a sense of self preservation and you absolutely would not get drunk with the man. Randomly. On a Thursday night.

Lance’s eyebrows stich together at how easily you shrug him off and that part of him, the competitive athlete one, pushes him forward. Because he never gave up, on anything. Ever. And who we’re you to just turn your back on him?

“Really? You’d rather drink your bottle of wine alone?” He presses on, keeping up easily with you so you’re standing shoulder to shoulder(well not really because he has a good near foot on you) with him. You convince yourself that it doesn’t unnerve you.

“Yup” you pop the ‘p’ dramatically.

“That sounds like fun" His sarcastic bite makes you bite the inside of your cheek “I’m offering you company. A good time and…good beer”

“I’ve never really been a beer girl” the sound he makes in his throat at your words is cute. You cant deny that “So again, I’m pretty sure I’ll pass”

“And here I thought we we’re friends”

“Really?” You give him incredulous eyes. Was he serious?

“Yeah- I mean we had that art class senior year and we were partners and” Lance recalls how close the two of you had gotten, how many hours you’d spend laughing and bullshitting and wasn’t that friendship? “I just assumed we we’re still friends”

“Do you not even remember what you said to me?” You don’t mean to say it, you really don’t. But you’ve taken one too many gulps of wine. The look of confusion on his face feels like a slap to yours.

“No?” He starts “Should I?”

You scoff at him so intensely it’s almost painful before you’re off, wanting to put some distance between the two of you.

Why wont he let you?

“Y/N” Lance insists on being the biggest pain in the ass ever to walk the planet “What did I say?”

“Just leave me alone” You’re almost through at the check out isle, the cashier is taking their sweet time though. You’d always loved La'tecia. The elderly black woman kept you in stiches, but you needed her to hurry the hell up.

“No. What did I say?” He continues to push, keeping up with you easily. He was fitter, his legs longer. You couldn’t out run him if you tried.

When you don’t answer him he can feel his annoyance spike at your antics “Why don’t you quit being a child and tell me so I can say sorry- even if I don’t really mean it- and you can get the fuck over it”

Oh.

Hell.

No.

He did not just speak to you like that. Your teeth grit in an attempt to hold your temper. Even if the store was dead it was still a public place.

“You know what, Lance? First of all fuck you-” He opens his mouth and your finger slices the air in front of you as you hold it up “No, I’m talking right now. You keep your mouth shut and listen to me. You want to know what you said to me? You told me that I might be, and I quote, actually pretty cute if I lost some weight. That you bet all the guys would be after me if I worked on my fitness. And that killed high school me. But adult me, whose obviously doing a hellva lot better then you in life doesn’t care. So there’s nothing you need to say a meaningless sorry for. But we are not friends” You’re pretty composed during the entirety of your little rant. Until the end. You hiss those words at him.

La'tecia just minds her business, and you give her your card, eagerly.

Lance attempts to absorb your words, you’d never seen him at a loss for words. Yeah, he remembers that conversation…but you were totally twisting his words! It hadn’t even gone down like that.

“Y/N-” He starts. but your bags are in your cart and your off. He intends on following you again but-

“Uh-uh. Are you going to pay for those?” La'tecia’s cutting voice asks and he sighs and takes out his wallet.

“Let me tell you, boy. You’ve always been heard headed. And loud as hell. But I never thought you we’re cruel, even with all that nonsense everyone always spoke about you” She starts, looking him right in the eye as she speaks “You’re a grown man now. Act like it”

Lance feels personally attacked. How had this night taken this route? All he’d wanted was some beers.

“Thanks for your words of wisdom. You should consider a new profession? Therapy maybe? Counseling? Telling people where isle four is, is obviously getting to mediocre for you” He sarcastically pans at the woman before snatching his beer and his card and stalking off.

He doesn’t know why he’d expected to find you outside, the lot is empty. Your long gone. He reaches for one of the beers, wrenching open the box before popping the can open an chugging. The drive back home is spent with him stewing and going over things he hadn’t thought about in…well ever. How was he supposed to know that him stating a simple face back so long ago would make you hate him forever? Hah, no, you didn’t even hate him. As you said. You just didn’t care about him. At all.

Like no one did.

His knuckles are white around the steering wheel as he sits outside the front of his house for nearly half an hour. Wondering what the fuck had just happened.

Oh, how the mighty had fallen.

——————

@huntressxtimelady @i-had-a-life-once @zombiewerewolfqueen @spookyscaryscully @adyseesbeauty @geekyweed @maximum-effort-minimum-life @peacefulwriter88 @pegasusdragontiger @papi-chulo-bucky @yslbucky @iamwarrenspeace

Okay so one of my Aunts from my dads side of the family was just over and I knew I needed to write in La'tecia because I love bold black women. I’m sorry it got to moody, but for there to be any realism in this story Y/N needs to first call him on his shit. Give me some feed back! Let me know if you want to be tagged! Love you’s guys!

Part Three

Part Four

[the-firebird69]

i had you dead to rights like 50times bja said at gators as the ralphy.  macs said and we said this t him you are a nut we see  you and your delusional and think his every move and so on is him coalascing and your insane. your wife feeds you poop all day long and you are anwe one too...looking for the ass job..he looks up says right what are you going todo about it.  and i said eat youup im next inline and he barfed out your a veg..and i said no he means me and i said you are and we argued the whole time...so we do that a lot and you konw why tedium.  and you said this movie and i said thi is it he is the best and no but it is aweful, the shit is right we need out and he wont let us and it is ralphy who wont...holds himtoit and he saysthere wont be a reward but on your head..and we devour you fast enough now so.  and he says so what you puke we ewin ok you win  and then why is he so confident...and we let out a huge hiss altogether now and wea llsaid morlock toow e wanthimin one piece...and he said f u all then and we left...he is an asshole but your r ight this chaaracter sucks so bad...tons say it ellie droppe dit and kathy and mom dad not the family the ass act and this little shit keeps going tons of morlock say no some grafters..what is up with it..he tortured me and they laugh you are the leek.  he is wise now ok to what and nothing really only he is found out for being the dick harassing all, andyou say it, nah he is an idiot..doesnt care actually he wants ppl toknow..so we hit and hit and shut themup and your right morlocks suck becomehim sowe hit them all tons and now it is on. we see two huge piles gouand down and upanddown and ll gone too and up and so far neck and neck notone ahead or the other...and he sees it says odd stuf...we watn it back and bja is a extortionist and all willbe shortly...and i see.  weare macs do the jobon this idiotandhis and it is by chinese and other sthyey tellme rest asured see him. we got that and the korean said it he sucksis apuke and ruined things easily but notruined and said i hd it used it was going to replace the thrity bucks and it was on me so it is an honor thing and can be fixed so i see it adn then money and stuff and it wasnt all mine but bja houdned them he was an kid onhis own they fired upon caa and it hurt his ego abit wtf iswrong w youand ketp it up...and said fgof ind it in the street and found it said youdid that and it was to ger you your money back nohands ok a warning too but bja does it....no he did not touchit nope. and i saw it fell andnobody coudl see it...so he says voodoo and we are not alone bja is a loser...cant fight themwont adn doesnt.  and he laughed ok i see..i got it too thanks your welcome i tried to ge it bak he saw too wellgottapay thmand crap...and the others too their own dollars...and we saw why it washis..and who...bja had them...and thenthis we get ihim and it strated changing again andthis is how iti s we were chianed tohim  we fight now and the jerk is at it but loses alland that is a mystery he is so dum prob doesnt getit so let me see you have gorrilla msseing up your shps you let them stay no offense nowe dont and you have themin bodies messing upstuff no changenope and bilium yourf ine it is bja....w esee it saw himmess w us...ok good joe says...and we are at it they suck badly mac  Thor  Freya Zues Hera

[krissewrites]

Playboy!Jimin - BTS Imagine

requested. i based this off the definition of playboy. jimin is out to get me.

everyone meet park jimin

the chaebol son of the park family

he’s the heir to the family business but he’d rather spend his time enjoying himself, blowing daddies money

he knows he handsome and he’s so smug about it

a spoiled brat

will often offer to buy everyone in the clubs drinks for the remainder of the night

so he can run a pretty fucking hefty bill

and it just so happened the same night you were at octagon, so was he

slurs almost every word that comes out of his mouth

a giggly drunk

“yah! lets get fucking wasted. drinks are on me!”

the entire fucking club loses it and cheers him on

but as long as he paid the tab, you were down to drink

he has such a huge fucking ego

the minute he sees you, he’s already planning on taking you home

so here comes a drunk bub, snaking his arm around your shoulder and smiling

granted he had a good smile

a gorgeous one at that

but you weren’t here for any love affairs

so you promptly pushed his hand off your shoulder

“ah! you’re hard to get, aren’t you? i can play your game.”

his voice while drunk is the equivalent of the “~~” sign after every sentence

“baby... what’s your poison?”

he is determined to make you talk to him so he just keeps bugging you

and finally you feed his ego

“whiskey.”

“uah! dark liqour? you know how to win my heart.”

dramatically cluthces his chest and closes his eyes. makes noises like he’s been impaled

stops and opens one eye

you honestly found it amusing how stupid he was acting

but you were also a little worried for him because you could smell the alcohol on his breath a mile away

“whats your name?”

“jimin! park jimin! i am also rich!”

continues to boast about his wealth, family status, dick size, etc.

you’re chuckling at the point as you ask for a pen from the bartender

“make me happy, will you, baby?”

“i’ll pay you if i have to”

“hmmm... i bet you like kinky shit. am i wrong?”

you graciously take the ink pen the bartender gave you and held jimin’s hand, writing a few words and a number into his hand

when you’re done he looks at it 

“im drunk. if im bothering you, call this number.”

he’s so fucking out of it he can barely pronounce half the words

“yah, are you hitting on me?”

glares at you with the cutest puppy dog eyes you could see

you laugh and promptly leave the club, hearing jimin prey on another innocent girl as you abandon him

flash forward it’s seven am now

and you’re getting dressed for a job interview in an hour

and then your phone goes off

“hello?”

“hello. do you know a park jimin?”

you suddenly become exhausted

what the fuck has he done

you end up, out of pure good humanitarianism, canceling your interview and booking it to the police station

you could find another job easily but you had a raging guilt complex

you walk into the station, nodding and waving to some police officers

and out comes park jimin, stumbling and in the clutch of a buff officer

he’s cursing, putting on a show

“do you know who i am? i am park jimin! my mom will hear about th--”

when he finally sees you he shuts up

“whiskey? ah, we’re meant to be--”

he’s obviously still drunk

his hair is a fucking mess but its actually really hot

has a cheeky grin on his face as the police officer holding him uncuffs him and shoves him forward

insert jimin stumbling in front of you, grabbing onto your waist to save him from falling

has his cheeks pressed against your chest and the cockiest grin washes over him

“if i’d known it was this easy, i would’ve gotten in trouble earlier”

you promptly shove him onto the floor.

the officers politely described that he had been found disturbing the peace, charged with public intoxication, and vandalism.

one hefty fucking bail bill and fighting to get jimin into your car later, you’re on the way to wherever he lives

but it couldnt be that easy

jimin refuses to give you any directions

instead, he wants to talk about you

“what’s my saviors name? i have the right to know.”

“if i give you fifty dollars right now, what would you do for me?”

“pLEase don’t swerve like that again im sorry”

it amazed you how entitled he though he was

he was fed with a silver spoon after all

you reluctantly tell him your name

and he swoons in his seat, trailing his fingers across his chest as he playfully moans out your name

“god, yes, right there, y/n”

“did that sound good? pull over, i want to hear you too!”

you swerve again, making him hit his head on the window

“why do you act out? how have you survived this long? and where the fuck do you live?”

he laughs to himself and finally gives in, telling you his address

after you finally rid of the demon, explaining the story to a butler at the front door, you finally go home

a few weeks pass, you’ve found a new job, and have sworn off going to night clubs

and then you get a phone call

“hello?”

“ah, y/n?”

boy oh boy did that voice sound familiar.

except, it was sober, and regretful this time.

“jimin?”

“do you want to get a coffee?”

as much as you didn’t want to be bothered, he also sounded much more likable in this tone

so you eventually agree

but he basically had to beg

you end up meeting him at a coffee shop close to your house 

he wore a leather jacket and destroyed skinny jeans.

was very cheeky when he saw you come around the corner

“you look good.” he teased

you were a millisecond from immediately turning the corner and leave

but he promises to behave if you at least have one coffee with him

but one coffee turns into two

and hearing jimin boast turns into him wanting to know everything about you

two hours had passed and you realized hes actually pretty cool to be around?

 he just needed a babysitter sometimes

jimin is naturally very charming, and it’s even better when he’s sober

so he manages to coax you into going on a date with him

you grin

he gives you the biggest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen

and pouts

“fine.”

“yes! what time--”

“on one condition.”

“what is that?”

“i want my money back.”

jimin cant refuse a date with you so he pulls the money he owes you out of his pocket then and there

it’s been a few months now since the whole jail thing

and he tries to spoil you

has even told you to quit your job because he can take care of you

but you refuse him every time

“you can’t even take care of yourself”

“i didn’t hear you complain the last time i was drunk--”

“don’t test me jimin”

“what are you gonna do, spank me?”

[geminimoonbeamx]

Wait a life time/ Chris Beck x Plus size reader

A/N: Alright ya’ll so I’m feeling veeeery fall today an I needed to get my fix. And what better better way to get my fix then to write a little College!Chris Beck one shot?

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Drug use(they’re smoking a joint ya’ll! Hide your kids, hide your wife) An overwhelming amount of fluff. Maybe some making out? You know aint no one can resist them lips. Oh and a few little spoilers from the new season of Stranger Things!

Summary: You make the ultimate sacrifice and wait for Chris before starting the second season of you guys’ favorite show.

💫💫💫💫💫

It’s Friday night- and you feel like you’d been waiting for this moment your whole life. Your lectures had felt extra long today, you’d listened to the Professors drone on with an antsy mind. Your sixty minute classes felt like they’d lasted ages. You cautiously avoided any of your social media accounts, knowing that the internet was no doubt a buzz with spoilers. It didn’t help that everyone seemed to be heckling you.

“You haven’t started it yet? I figured you would have started binging last night right at midnig-” Cassie, your best friend addresses you, her voice shocked as you two had taken a caffeine break at the Starbucks on campus.

“No, not yet” You’d shushed her as you sipped on your Venti iced white chocolate mocha.

“Waiting for Beck?” She guessed, her eyes knowing as she gazed at you over the top of her open laptop.

“Yup” You popped the p.

The next harassment came from your second best friend, Erin.

“What do you mean you haven’t started season two yet” She’d hissed at you as the two of you sat in the library and you rolled your eyes.

“Obviously I mean exactly what I said- I haven’t started it”

“Oh my god, it’s so good already. I’ve been watching it all day on my phone. You’re not going to believe what crazy shits going dow-” You cut the curly haired girl off with a glare.

“Stop! You treacherous cow” you shoot at her and she responds with just a cackle

“Whatever, you keep waiting on Dr. Dork…tell me when you get to episode five, I need some one to express all of my feeeeels to!” She’d always been extremely immature…and she was studying to be a Neurosurgeon one day!

When you’d finally gotten to your little apartment, you’d quickly kicked off your clothes, letting yourself loose from the imprisonment of society, and pulled a pair of stretchy black leggings over your wide hips before Shrugging into your shirt that reads ‘Yeezus is a Gemini’ in bold lettering.

You take a peek at the clock on the stove. It’s only 5:30, Chris wont even be out of class for even an hour so you decide you might as well make dinner to try and pass the time…

Would he even know if you started it? You could just watch the first episode. Then you’d wait for him. What would that hurt?

No! Your brain instantly cuts you off, recalling the time you’d went on in Game of Thrones without him and the huge fight that had ensued. That’s what happens when two total TV nerds get together. Fights about “how could you watch it without me, I trusted you!”

So you sigh and start cutting up chicken breast instead.

Tick- tock.

When the front door handle finally jiggles, you cant help but grin happily, not only because you were going to get to watch your show, but because your boy was home. You guys were still very much in that honeymoon stage, and being without him for 12 hours, both of you full time students with gruelingly long work days, killed you.

“Hey” Chris beams at you as he enters. He looks tired, med-school really is a ball buster. His crisp white lab jacket is a stark contrast to his tired eyes, droopy eyes and fluffy tawny hair.

“Hi, baby” You give the rainbow vegetables a final toss in the pan before turning off the burner and making your way across the short distance to reach him, you reach up, pressing a kiss to his ever rosy, plump lips.

It’s lame, super lame, but you crave them all the time. The taste of his breath, the way his hand always cups the side of your neck; his thumb rubbing little circles in its wake. “'missed you”

He chuckles into the kiss “I missed you too” he’ll never get over how receptive you are to him. He’d never really been a lady killer so to say, and yet you always treated him like he was something liken to Brad Pitt or something. You really knew how to boost a mans ego, make him feel special.

Even when he had been elbow deep in cadavers all day.

“It smells good” Chris notes when the two of you separate. You know he’s always starving when he get home- hadn’t really eaten in hours.

“I made that fajita stir fry you like…and I may or may not be baking slutty brownies” you give him a wink as you walk back to the kitchen, an extra sway in your step and he groans.

How?

How the fuck had he scored so immensely?

“I love you”

It’s dead serious and it makes you throw your head back and laugh. He was sooo easy to please.

“Yeah, yeah you big sap I love you too. Go get changed so we can start our show! I’ve been dying all day!” You urge him, pointing the spatula at him.

“Yes ma'am” he agrees, before he slips into your room. He’s talking to you about his day through the open door as he changes. About how the internship he was sure he was going to get and about how his dick wad of a roommate had left all of his mail under a laundry basket so he was going to have to resend his credentials.

You gnaw at your lip at that. You and Chris had only been together for five or so months- but it had been the most intense five months of your life. He was your first real, serious relation ship and you couldn’t deny the fact that you were totally Gaga about the man. Plus- even though you’d only been dating, offically, for five months you’d known him since freshman year.

And you’d been thinking about asking him to move in with you for weeks- months. He practically already lived with you, he was almost constantly at your place. Most of his clothes were here, all of his text books. His NASA magazines… All that was left was for you to ask him.

You didn’t know why it was so daunting.

He looks lighter when he comes back out in a pair off loose, low hanging sweats and a sweater that had Rick and Morty printed infront of a galaxy on it. His hair, if possible, is even more mused: sticking up in all directions. He’s deftly pinching a nearly completed spliff in his fingers, rolling it with surgical precision.

He really did roll the BEST joints. And was one of the biggest pot heads you’d ever met, as most college students are.

He raved and ranted about the vast medical advantages of marijuana- not as much as he did about the wonders of space, but still. He walks out on the porch because unfortunately your building managers were hard asses and you couldn’t get caught hot boxing the place.

You dish up two piping hot, steaming plates and place them on the coffee table before joining him.

It’s late October in Connecticut and the evening air has a bitter bite to it. The smoke billows out of Chris mouth as he exhales and it’s almost hypnotic to watch.

He notices your staring and passes you the joint, thinking that was what you wanted. You take it without correcting him and inhale then fragrant smoke.

“How was your day?” His big blue eyes gaze down at you and you shrug.

“Eh. Non-eventful. I mean other then the fact that I’ve been dodging spoilers from all angles and dying to see Eleven with hair” you crack and he chuckles.

“Thanks for waiting for me. I owe you one”

“No, it’s our show. I wouldn’t start without you…especially after last time” you poke at him about his little Game of Thrones break down and he shakes his head at your consistent teasing. It would be mean, except for it always comes with you winding your arms around his middle. That and the fact that he so happens to be a total smart ass himself.

You pull away from him and glance upwards when he doesn’t reply “What?”

He just puts the joint on the rail and cups your face with both of his hands, squeezing at your round cheeks as he presses his forehead against yours wordlessly.

Beck gets affectionate when he’s stoned.

The moment is broken soon after by the beeping of the oven: signaling that your brownies are done.

“The brownies” you wiggle out of his grasp and he watches your back with a dazed look, putting out the spliff and going to the couch to flip on Netflix and get your show ready.

The rest of the night is spent with the two of you cuddled under fluffy blankets with full stomachs; yelling, laughing and crying as you binge the entire second season of Steanger Things in one sitting.

——————

Okay you guys this is pure fluff. I’m maybe thinking about doing a series of little Beck one shots like this? Would you guys be into that? Lemme know if you guys need more of this soft space boi in your lives😂💘