#its so funny how he got this name like yeah you are one cosmic joke mf

[7m7n7]

@cosmicjoke still shitting his diapers fighting air. mr incel, you're literally fighting your limited af imagination, projecting AND PROJECTING AGAIN DOING NOTHING ELSE. anyway, nobody even gives a fuck about what you're saying, so eh lmfao

FYI, the only one who doesn't love levi here is YOU. you want him hurt, that's what gets you off. the only thing you care about is pretending he's a holy jesus figure bc you wanna feel like the moral person yourself stanning the "person who can't do no wrong", i guess real life really showed what a trashbag you are to you for you to be desperate for it, eh? no one who feels an ounce of sympathy for a character is gonna write them get gangraped and tortured. it's pretty fucking simple and anyone with more than one braincell can understand that. :) love how you try to defend your disgusting ass by saying you "don't romanticize" it. DUH bitch, why would you? when does the SADIST romanticize abuse LMFAOOOO 💀all you are is a lifeless idiot preaching morality all day long to five even more jobless weirdos who are dumb enough to listen to you. you should thank eruris for attacking every rando opinion bc without them bashing on you, you wouldn't even get in the radar of those 5 people.

anyway, you're just there *again* getting assmad and trying to find excuses to demonize straight women bc our takes ruin YOUR gross whump fantasy of levi taking up the ass from hideous men and getting reduced to a pathetic woobie constantly having panic attacks and getting subjected to worst torture. you just are too cowardly to admit openly that you hate fangirls (even tho it's obvious as HELL) bc there's no other place you can hope to get support (not that you even get measly amount you used to anymore lolol) bc erushits don't want your rancid ass either, which is HILARIOUS.

btw, if you care about levi's kindness and heroism, why do you never write about him being an amazing strong hero figure? bc i promise you i'd love that ☺️ why is it always levi getting raped, tortured, being pathetic about someone (shitwin in this case ofc), being completely incapable and weak? hmm its ALMOST like you just don't have him to have any *gasp* POWER and you get off to his suffering 😮

also, it's kinda funny how there's only one thing you say about me that's accurate and that's me being a huge dick to erushits, but even that you can't get right fully bc you have this wild notion about me being mean to "levi bloggers" bitch WHAT levi bloggerS. im ACTUALLY asking. there's only your uglyass who's a solo stan here 😂 not even on twitter i beefed with those (also rancid) socalled solo stans until now bc unlike some of you morons i choose my battles💀 but yeah, you're a halfwit little roach, so that's not surprising that you have NO idea about who you're even beefing with lmfao.

also

D E A D A S S hilarious. i actually laughed. like WHAT do you think will happen my little roach 💀 do you realize i wrote that MYSELF WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS on a PUBLIC post that was reblogged from YOU? are you actually braindead enough to think i give a fuck what you post there about me? the only reason i don't say certain risky things is to not get nuked LMFAOOOOOOOOOO 💀 and idk what kind of boomer bullshit is this talking abt them as "admins" as if its a forum and thinking they'll give a fuck about your "nooesss BAN this pewson that i keep engaging with and spreading harassment campaigns for bc they dont like my bottomized wevi shit" clown💀

numerous accounts 😭 that reminded me, as much as it was fun to watch you think every anon who's hating on you that you cant get rid of had banked up thousands of accounts which was clearly giving you some cringe ego boost, let me give you a hint: you cant block *an account* by blocking an anon 🤗 kinda amazed how youve been on tumblr for YEARS and couldnt figured something so basic out. only a halfwit like you could imagine anyone getting a new acc whenever you block an anon so i laughed A LOT at you thinking that so thanks for being such an egotistical idiot 😘

were you saying you would rather d**l a hole to your s*** than talk with me? you better start dr*lling then since you LOOOOOVE engaging with me LMFAOOOOOO

[empressofthesunwriter]

Cosmic Phantoms

What do you get if you put a sassy Half-Ghost, a bubbly Magical Ghostly Girl, a strongwilled Goth and a skirt-chasing Tech-Nerd together?

Well, the greatest Ghost Hunting Team on Earth!

Join Danny, Julia, Sam and Tucker on their crazy adventures.

Puberty is a joke against the forces they are up to!

I changed Cosmo's name to Julie Cosmos, even if I keep calling her Cosmos to distance her from her human self, just a heads up ^^

Check out my DeviantArt to see Julia's clothes for season 1!

Parental Bonding

Julia tried her hardest not to cringy and smiled politely at the boy in front of her.

God, with him, it was the seventh boy who asked her out on the dance.

The poor sod didn't fare any better than the others.

He was stuttering and sweating.

She decides to save him from making himself look like a fool.

"Listen here...", what was his name again? Damn, Julia was bad with names. "Nathaniel?"

Okay, she was right he looked at her with hope in his eyes.

The red-haired girl felt bad that she had to crush it.

"I already have a date for the dance, so sorry. I hope you find another date."

With a last smile, she hightailed out of the situation and sat down on the bench where Sam and Danny were eating and Tucker was sulking.

Other than Julia, Tucker couldn't get a date.

"This was suitor, what, number 8?", teased Sam.

Julia got her own lunch out, a simple peanut butter jelly sandwich.

"Number 7.", corrected Julia and bit down on her sandwich. "And I got asked out by four girls, so 11 together."

Frustrated Tucker smashes his head against the table.

"I don't get you, Julie! You are formally swimming in dates and I got zero!"

"I already told you, I have a date."

"Gonna tell us who?", asked Danny.

She nodded and pointed at Sam, who grinned at the surprised boys.

"I asked Sam and she said yes."

"Wowowow, backtrack!", yelled Tucker in disbelief. "YOU asked SAM?"

"Is there a problem Tucker?", said Sam in a sugary-sweet voice which promised broken bones in his future.

Thankful he understood the subtext.

"No, no, no. Just surprised. How Julie has admirers left and right I thought she would go with one of them."

The girl in question snorted.

"Naah, I rather go with my friend, than with someone I barely know. You guys do realise that I'm still the new girl."

"Yeah, and the ones who want to go out with Julia, just want to go out with her for her looks. I'm going with her because she is my friend and we like each other.", added Sam.

But the words of the girls fly over the boy's head.

Confused Sam and Julia look at them.

"What?", asks Sam annoyed.

"Paulina...", chorused Danny and Tucker dreamily together.

Indeed there was Paulina, the most popular and beautiful girl in school. Paulina walks down a pathway while boys stare distractedly at her.

One boy on a bike crashes into a tree, while another walks into a guy sitting on a fountain and they both fall into the water, only to sit up and continue staring.

"Paulina..."

Sam scoffs at these two horny idiots.

"Oh, please! Paulina? Girls like her are a dime a dozen!"

On cue, Danny and Tucker dig through their pockets and pull out some change.

Danny asks even Tucker how much change he has.

This makes Sam fake-laugh.

"Very funny. Just remember: you can't judge a book by its cover."

"I'm with Sam. She may be hot and I would like to tap that-"

"JULIE!"

"-But I don't think Miss Popular and Beauty is very nice."

"Well, there's only one way to find out.", says Tucker and turns to his best friend. "Go on, Danny. Go to that library and check out that book!"

"I can't! I get weak-kneed when I try to talk to cute girls."

This earns him two burning looks of anger from Julia and Sam.

Scary!

"Oh, and you have absolutely no problems talking to us!", hisses Julia like an angry cat.

Julia thinks she is a fairly hot girl and Sam is pretty too, Danny freacking insulted them!

Desperate Danny tries to explain what he means, but Sam nor Julia are having it.

"Skip it.", the two girls say together.

Sam walks over to Danny and lifts him up by the arms.

"Go give your weak knees some exercise.", tells Sam as she formally throws him in Paulina's direction.

The next few minutes are just cringe.

Danny tries to hit on Paulina and somehow turns his pants invisible, showing his boxers, which makes the girl and the whole school laugh.

Julia facepalms in embarrassment, Tucker takes a picture with his PDA and Sam goes to rescue Danny.

None of them know what a stressful week awaits them.

(*)

The next day our four friends are eating in the Food Court of the Amity Park Mall.

A girl from their school passes their table and Tucker tries to hit on her, which of course earns him a no.

"So, your dad is going to chaperone the dance?", repeats Sam what Danny told them.

"Yes, but he doesn't know he's going to chaperone because he doesn't remember that I made him say yes!"

"Let me get this straight. You can just walk into people and take over their bodies from the inside?", says Tucker an idea forming in his head.

Julia looks thoughtful.

"I wonder if I can do it too?"

"Well, there is a way Julie to find out. Why don't you try to jump into a girl for two minutes and get me a date.", proposes Tucker excitedly.

The girl just deadpans. This was so wrong on many levels.

"No."

"Shot...Danny?"

"Forget it. You can get your own date for the dance like I did."

"Does he have to take off his pants and act like a dweeb?", ask Sam sarcastic. "Or will either one do?"

Tucker and Julia snort and send then an apologetic look at an annoyed Danny.

"Honestly, guys, I'm glad that Julie asked me as friends to go to the dance. Even if I have to wear that stupid dress my parents bought me.", Sam chuckles nervously.

"Now, now, Samantha.", tutts Julia and pats her hand. "It's not a crime to like a dress. Being feminine doesn't make you less Goth, I mean look at Morticia Addams!"

"Well, if you say it like this..."

"So no one besides Julie asked you, huh?", deducts Tucker.

"Maybe if I was as pretty as Paulina.", growls Sam.

"Why are you so down on her?", wondered Danny. "So she's pretty. It's not a crime. You certainly don't are like this with Julie."

"Aww, you think I'm pretty?", gushes Julia happy, her hand on her heart and a small blush on her cheeks.

"Julie has a beautiful soul to back up her looks.", counters Sam, which makes Julia turn redder.

"Guys, you turn me all shy!"

Suddenly people start screaming and running away behind the quartet. Danny's ghost sense goes off, while Julia's Necklace burns.

"Ghost time.", mussed Tucker holding up some fries. "Can I finish your fries?"

Danny doesn't give him an answer and takes Julia by the hand. The two hide behind some plants and transform.

They fly up to a blue dragon ghost.

"Say, haven't we met somewhere?", asks Phantom.

The dragon roars and breathes green fire at them, which luckily they can dodge.

"Let's try this again. Hi, I'm Danny Phantom and she is Julie Cosmos.", he points at Cosmos, who waves awkwardly. "And you are?"

Sadly the dragon doesn't care for formalities. It roars and hits Phantom and Cosmos with her tail.

Both yell and crash into the kitchen of the nearby Weenie On-A-Skewer.

Hurting, Phantom holds his head.

"Testy got it."

"I would say feisty.", corrects Cosmos, rubbing her own hurt head.

The dragon breathes more fire at the store's counter and the two half-ghosts fly out of the way.

"Sorry, dude! I think you got the wrong weenies!", puns Phantom, which makes Cosmos snort.

What can she say, she loves lame jokes.

Together they smack into the dragon, pushing it through the air.

It grabs them mid-flight and skids to a halt, then pins them on the ground.

"Must have tee!", it roars in their faces.

"Tea?", repeats Cosmos confused.

"Tea? Ooh, good idea. Coffee could make you a mite jittery. Better yet...", shouts Phantom, grabs Cosmos and turns them intangible sinking into the ground. 

The dragon looks perplexedly at its claws.

Cosmos and Phantom fly back up through the ground.

"Have some punch!"

They doppel-punch the dragon, making it fly high and away.

Since neither has the Fenton Thermos with them, they join up with Sam and Tucker, transforming back.

"Julie! Danny! Are you okay?", ask Sam worried.

Julia nods.

"A bit bruised but nothing to worry about."

"Fine.", waves Danny off. "But that's the second time I've fought that dragon. We need to investigate. How are you guys?"

"Great...if you don't count me still being dateless for the dance.", laments Tucker tapping on his PDA. "Sasha, no. Denise, no. I've hit every girl in school except... "

He trails off as a pretty African-American girl walks up to them.

"Valerie."

"Yeah, hi.", she greets desinterested back. "Sucker, is it?"

"Tucker. Or Tuck. Or Tuckerino."

"Which ends with 'no.' Which, by the way, is my answer, unless something happens in the next five minutes that makes me dateless."

To Tucker's luck her date Kwan, one of Dash's football friends, tells her he will go with Donna so she is now dateless, before he walks away.

Signing Valerie says yes to Tucker and leaves too.

"Some may call it the rebound, but I call it a yes! I got a date! Whoo!", celebrates Tucker and points at his pants. "And the pants are still on!"

Julia shakes her head.

"You really needed to point that out, huh?"

(*)

It's the evening of the dance.

Sam and Julia decide to get ready at Sam's house.

Julia is still surprised that Sam told her first her little secret and not Danny or Tucker since she knows them longer.

She feels honoured.

While Julia finished her make-up, Sam, in her cool goth ballgown, was with the boys on a Sky-Call.

"Tie straight. Shirt tucked in.", Julia hears Danny's voice coming from the laptop. "Unbreakable ghost fishing line tucked neatly away just in case.  What's taking so long with that dragon research, Sam?"

"Alright! Jeez!", grumbles Sam and Julia hears her tipping away. "Here. I'm sending you the link."

"That's it!  Medieval ghostly legend held that the cursed Amulet of Aragon could transform any wearer into dragon form under states of extreme emotional duress or anger. That's the amulet I gave to Paulina. It must have accidentally fallen into my backpack. Wait. You mean...I'm going on a date with a dragon?!", says Danny astonished.

Curious Julia walks over to check the website herself.

"Kinda sounds like what my Necklace can do, only I have more control over it."

Sam nods in agreement.

"I had the same thought but I didn't find anything about an amulet or necklace which transforms a person into a ghost, I'm sorry Julie."

The redhead just signs.

"Thanks anyway, Sam, honey."

This is when Julia notes how Tucker and Danny are staring at her with big blushes on their faces.

She raises an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You-You...look really nice.", stutters Danny.

"Nice?!", shouts Tucker. "You look like a fairytale princess!"

A soft blue gloved hand goes to Julia's mouth to hide her smiles and giggles.

"Thanks guys."

Smiling smug Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Didn't I tell you...you are 1000 times prettier than Paulina."

"Guys, stop, I gonna pass out!"

"Right, we will see you boys at the dance!"

With that Sam ends the Sky Call.

After Julia calms down enough, Sam's father drives them to the dance, where they meet an annoyed Tucker.

He did go with Valerie to the ball, but she ditched him the second she saw her friends.

Sam and Julia try to cheer him up.

Danny and Paulina finally arrive and he tries his best to somehow get the amulet back.

He shouldn't have probably said that the amulet belonged to Sam since Paulina turned partial dragon and broke her punch glass.

Then he had to overshadow his dad since Lancer talked to him.

In his dad's body, Danny runs up to his friends.

"Tucker, Sam, Julie we've got trouble.", he whisper-shouts at them.

"We had nothing to do with it, Mr. Fenton. It was all Danny's idea.", says Tucker, thinking they are in trouble with an adult.

"Tucker, it's me. It's Danny.", makes Danny clear and hands them walkie-talkies. "Sam, Julie, you try to help me find Paulina. Tucker, keep an eye on my dad. If he starts talking to anyone, page me, got it?"

"This dance gets better and better with every passing minute.", musses Sam happy.

The three split up, running in different directions.

As Julia is currently trying politely to decline a dance with a boy, she thinks his name is Jake, and trying to find Paulina, she hears over the Walkie-Talkie how Sam found their target.

"Where are you?", asks Julia.

"Girl bathroom."

"Danny, I will go with Sam."

"Understood and girls don't make her angry."

Julia and Sam meet up before the bathroom.

They decide Sam should talk to Paulina, while Julia stands guard and is ready to transform if necessary.

Paulina is checking herself in a mirror as Sam walks up behind her in the reflection.

"Hey, Paulina. Nice dress.", starts Sam awkwardly the conversation.

The Latina turns to her, a hand on the amulet.

"Yes, and it goes so nicely with your amulet, don't you think?"

Both Sam and Julia are confused.

"My amulet? That's not my--", Sam stops herself as she realises Danny's plan. "Right! Listen...my grandma gave me that amulet, and--"

"Forget it, sweetie.", scoffs Paulina. "I'm not giving up this trinket or your little boyfriend Danny."

"My boyfriend? Ha ha! And they say pretty girls can't be funny. Danny is not my boyfriend."

"He's not?"

"He's my best friend. Maybe that's why I was so hard on you. I didn't mean to call you shallow."

"What a bummer! I only agreed to go out with him because I thought I was stealing him from you.", confesses Paulina and puts the amulet on Sam. "Here, take your crummy amulet. I'm going back inside to dump your dorky friend."

Sam shakes with anger and the amulet starts to glow. Her skin turns blue and scaly and her eyes turn red.

"Shallow little witch!"

She transforms into the blue dragon and roars.

Paulina faints.

"Shit! Star, transform me!", shouts Julia and turns into Julie Cosmos.

She barely manages to grab Paulina's bridal style and turn them intangible to fly out of the bathroom.

Dragon-Sam doesn't care to destroy property and flies after them.

"Give. Me. Witch!", roars Dragon Sam at Cosmos, who does her best to dodge her flames.

That's when Danny Phantom finally enter the scene and kicks Dragon-Sam in the back.

She falls and crashes onto the football field.

"Take it easy, Paulina. You don't want to hurt Sam."

That's when he notices how Cosmos has Paulina's bridal style in her arms.

"Paulina? Sam?!"

"Shallow girl!", roar Dragon-Sam standing on her hide-legs.

"Yep, that's Sam."

"Took you long enough!", calls Cosmos.

Dragon-Sam breathes fire at him and he turns intangible to avoid it, then reappears.

"Whoa! Sam! Two words: breath mints."

Uninterest Dragon-Sam turns back to Cosmos and Paulina and hits Phantom away with her tail.

He goes flying into the bleacher but thankful turns intangible.

"Sam, it's me, Julie, you wouldn't hurt me right?", tries Cosmos to reach her friend.

For a second it seems Dragon-Sam calms down, only to roar again and shoot fire at them.

Cosmos turn them intangible and invisible.

With Paulina in her arms she can't fight, so she gently places her back in the bathroom.

Hopeful Dragon-Sam won't look here for her.

Then Cosmos flies back to the football field and attacks Dragon-Sam with her grey ectoplasm rays.

The dragon falls on his stomach groaning.

Phantom comes up beside Cosmos.

"Paulina?"

"In a safe place, now we only need to get the amulet from Sam!"

The male Halfa agrees, and both get ready to fight Dragon-Sam, when Tucker warns Phantom per Walkie-Talkie how Lancer is close to his father.

"Go!", shoves Cosmos him. "Give me the Fenton Fisher, I think I know how I can catch this dragon!"

"I own you one, Cosmos!"

So Phantom hands her the Fenton Fisher before he flies back to the dance.

Cosmos get the Fenton Fisher ready as Dragon-Sam sends three fire blasts at her, which she can dodge.

"I hate to say this Sam, but your aim is as bad as the patriarchy!"

This annoys Dragon-Sam to no end, which gives Cosmos the chance to cast the fishing line around her neck.

Dragon-Sam continually breathes fire at Cosmos, who keeps wrapping the line around her until her wings and arms are secure.

She drops to the ground.

Immediately Cosmos flies down to her and removes the amulet.

The dragon transforms back into her human self.

"Sam, honey?", ask the detransformed Julia worried her friend. "Are you okay?"

"Wow.", groans Sam, holding her head, while Julia has a hand on her back. "Did I have fun at the dance?"

"Well, I'm not Danny but I think he would say: You had a roaring time."

This makes Sam laugh quietly.

Soon the boys join them and congratulate Julia on fighting her first enemy alone and being victorious.

The quartet walks back into the slowly filling out gym.

"Dude, sorry your date didn't pan out.", says Tucker "Where is Paulina anyway?"

Julia and Sam see the girl in question with Dash. They look at each other and then shake their heads.

"Ah, who cares?", finds Sam.

"Yes, look, guys! The DJ's still playing. And I gonna dance now with my date!", proclaims Julia.

Laughing Sam lets herself lead by Julia on the dance floor, where the two girls slow dance.

The boys smile at how cute they are and Tucker makes even a picture of them with his PDA.

Then suddenly Sam grabs Danny and Julia Tucker.

"We didn't forget you!", say the girls together.

Now the boys laugh while they twirl their dance partner around.

"Promise me you'll keep your pants up.", jokes Sam to Danny, which makes all laugh.

"I'll do my best."

After a few moments, they change partners again.

Danny dances now with Julia and Sam with Tucker.

"Your pants still good?", asks Julia with a cheeky grin.

"All good, don't worry.", promises Danny.

Well, their first High School Dance could have gone a lot worse, but as long the four have each other they will always make the best out of anything.

[moonbaby26]

Title: The Battle

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Continuation from last chapter. Set during X-Men: Age of Apocalypse, you and the others fly to Cairo to confront Apocalypse and his soldiers in an attempt to rescue Xavier.

Warnings: Apocalypse being a leg breaking, hero strangling jerk. Characters fighting for their lives, but bookended with fluff from Peter x Reader pairing.

Chapters: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Taglist: @drikawinchester , @n0obmaster69 , @alexloveskili , @what-a-silver-lining , @bluesprings18 , @weakmoony-stuff , @slytherinsi-mp, @wintwrsoldiwr, @tommy-braccoli, @amourtentiaa

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

———————————

You’d at least gotten to clean up somewhat. Earlier as Hank and the new woman you’d just met, Moira, had worked on readying the jet, you’d found some bit of helpful supplies. Clean rags to wipe off the blood, and bandages that’d you’d hurriedly applied to your shallow claw wounds.

All the remnants of your restraints were gone, and your old, torn clothes you’d just tossed in favor of the thin jumpsuit and lightly armored black flight suit over the top of it. You all wore these suits, commandeered with this experimental jet now rumbling beneath you as you shot off to Cairo together.

There was silence for a good while, after some initial nervous chatter and joking from the others. It would have been too easy to fill this quiet with any of the myriad of questions still rushing through your brain, but you really had just listened and little more when they’d filled you in earlier with the gist of what they’d learned.

All that really mattered was that the Professor was being held captive by a seemingly omnipotent mutant. One that had now declared war on all and recruited his own powerful soldiers. This was a rescue mission, with likely all your lives at stake.

You leaned your head back, wondering if anyone else would really even know or care what had happened to you if you never came back from this.

The escape from Stryker’s lab had been life threatening as well of course, but it was so different when it’d just been one thing after another. Events unfolding too quickly to really develop any sense of dread, it’d been all adrenaline and luck really.

But even in a jet like this, flying all the way to Egypt was more than just a skip and a jump. It was well enough time to dwell on your own inexperience and shortcomings, to wonder if this was the last time you’d ever do anything at all.

“Hey,” Peter’s voice was quiet, just to you, as you glanced over, having been mired only in your own thoughts until that moment.

He was sitting beside you, both of you strapped in these jump seats that ran along both sides of the jet. Vaguely you realized the others had started talking once more as well then. Maybe that was why he felt more comfortable speaking to you again now.

He hadn’t addressed you directly since you’d reunited with the others. Though you wouldn’t blame him if he was just as nervous as you were deep down. But from his self deprecating jokes in front of your friends earlier, about still living at home with his mother, he would at least seem better at hiding fear if he did have any.

“Hey,” You answered back reflexively, looking at him fully again.

“So uh....” He was chewing a piece of gum, as if some part of him still had to stay in motion in order to remain comfortable. “That car, that was pretty sweet. That yours or what?”

Honestly it took you a very long, awkward pause before you could piece together any idea of what he was referring to. But being that you’d only known him since literally just earlier today, there wasn’t anything else he could possibly mean. “The yellow convertible?” You questioned anyway, not really surprised by much of anything now.

“Yeah, I mean, I take the road if there is one. I saw you guys on the way to the house,” He answered, still offering a little explanation regardless. “Looked like you knew what you were doing though.” There was a more sheepish grin emerging. “I was going to stop and say hey I guess. But then I saw the, you know, fireball coming out the house and all, had to go see what that was about. Save everybody or whatever...” He trailed off after a bit, maybe realizing that you were just letting him ramble.

It reminded you of how you’d acted with him during the whole lab fiasco. He seemed the more confident one down there, while you got easily flustered. You really wondered if having your friends here now was making the difference. As if he was more unsure of himself when there was a potential audience to hear what you might say back to him.

It was interesting, getting to put more of those pieces together, or at least starting to be able to when it came to him. For putting on the display of an extrovert, and if you could finally admit it, even him being an outright flirt, you felt more and more sure that that was only skin deep really. That was just the outer layer he protected himself with.

“It was one of the Professor’s cars,” You smiled genuinely, probably the first one since they’d told you where you were going in this jet and why. “We were on our way back from the mall.”

That warmth from you seemed to ease him back into his normal tone, maybe a slight relief in him that you didn’t find it off putting that he’d already taken notice of you before you even knew he was anywhere around.

“Oh, mallrat, huh?” He quipped, “I can picture that.”

He was teasing, but you gave it right back. “There is no way you can tell me that you don’t end up in music stores wherever you live, like a lot.” You hadn’t forgotten his band t-shirt after all. You thought you’d seen him putting away headphones at some point too. “And that leather jacket and pants you had? Come on, that didn’t come from some bargain clothes rack.”

You might have had him for just a moment there. Just a flicker of surprise in his eyes to know you really had paid him that much attention, before he retorted, “Hey, what’s the point of a fast car if it has no style, right?”

“Says the guy who most people can’t even see until he slows down.” But you were purposeful to make clear in your tone that that wasn’t an insult at all, just continuing a little more bravely afterward, “Though their loss I guess.”

There was no mistake then, he really did pause. You could feel the slightest bit of heat in your face again, but you were not about to take that back. Not when you didn’t even know what was really awaiting you all at the end of this flight.

And you were still the next one to speak, that resolve remaining. “If we make it out of this, maybe you can come with me back over there to our mall. Help me pick out some new stuff.” You tried not to make it sound funny, but on some cosmic level it still was. “Seeing as how my room and everything I owned was incinerated and all.”

“Deal.” He said immediately. Only a little afterward seeming to realize that maybe he sounded a bit too eager. He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. “I mean, I’m pretty good at Ms. Pac Man too. They have an arcade, right?”

“Yes.” You answered, trying not to look too amused, and going along with him to help him feel more comfortable. “I can’t say I’m actually any good, but they do have a Flash Gordon pinball machine I always play. And a couple of air hockey tables. That’s my go-to.” No question with his speed that he would likely annihilate you on both. But the idea of being in a much simpler, safer place like that with him some day was a pleasant one right now.

“Oh yeah. I can show you a thing or two.” He was clearly back in his element then, looking smug once more.

“I’m sure you will.” You could only wonder if the god complex mutant and his lackeys you were now off to go challenge would have any idea that in the back of your mind you’d now be dreaming of a simple date in an arcade as extra motivation to get back home in one piece.

———————————

It wasn’t long before things had started spiraling in quick succession again. You’d all arrived in Cairo to find it essentially destroyed, save for what this fake god had already erected in monument to himself. A huge pyramid in the style of the ancient Egyptians, one he’d taken Xavier hostage inside.

It hadn’t been clear though how much of the destruction was done by this mutant, and how much had actually been at Magneto’s hands as it was with more shock that you’d found him in the middle of this as well. Now serving this apocalyptic mutant.

You knew enough about Magneto to both fear and respect him. Even though his history with the Professor went back so many years, Erik Lehnsherr as he was actually named was always more on the side of peace through violence. While Xavier preached ideals of tolerance and education for regular humans to one day accept mutant kind, Magneto thought them incapable of such, and had no qualms on preemptive strikes against non mutants as well as eye for an eye type vengeance.

But even for Magneto this seemed surprising. He would really just give Xavier up this way? As you’d gotten closer, Jean had sensed that Apocalypse (what you were now calling the new enemy in your own mind) intended to take over the Professor’s body, possessing him permanently to gain access to his mind control powers and become basically omniscient. He’d be unstoppable with everyone as his puppets then. Free will would cease to exist.

“You guys help Nightcrawler get into the pyramid!” Raven called back to all of you as the jet was landing. “Get Charles and I’ll take care of Erik.”

You’d snapped back to attention at the orders, and you saw that Peter was suddenly at her side.

He looked so focused all at once, “I can get you in there,” He told her, referring to the debris field of broken buildings and all else now churning, stuck in a huge magnetic orb with Magneto at its center. When she didn’t look sure, he continued quickly. “I came here for him, let me help you.”

Raven nodded to Peter then in agreement, knowing there was no time for more back and forth. “The rest of you, get Charles on this plane and get him out of here!”

You too knew what was at stake, there was no reason to argue, even if there still must have been concern on your face. You didn’t understand Peter’s change and sudden fixation on Magneto.

But it was only Kurt that spoke up immediately, yelling back to Raven and Peter, “We’re not leaving without you!”

Peter looked back at that, “Don’t worry.” In fact, you realized he was looking directly to you for one moment. “We’ll catch up.”

———————————

While Peter had sped Raven out of sight to try and reason with Magneto, Moira had stayed with the jet and Hank had come with you, Scott, Jean, and Kurt.

But as you all ran along the rubble, trying to make your way to the pyramid, it hadn’t been but moments until you encountered Apocalypse’s other soldiers, mutants set on stopping you all from interfering by any means necessary.

A tall, blonde man with wings made out of metal, a ninja seeming woman with a pinkish purple energy she could wield from her hand like a blade even while also carrying a katana, and a girl nearer your own age with stark white hair and seemingly the most power out of the three as she’d flown right towards you throwing lightning bolts from her hands.

You’d had no choice but to split up. Which you were sure was what they’d wanted even as you’d chosen to try and take the white haired girl’s attention. You didn’t really want to find out what would happen if one of those bolts struck you directly, but you could guess you had the best chance of anyone to maybe absorb some of it in your energy form.

You’d immediately powered up, glowing white as she’d chased you around the sky, both of you darting and flying in some kind of bizarre dog fight.

Your heart had been racing though, no amount of training at the mansion could actually prepare you for dueling with someone who actually wished to harm you. Everything to this point had just been about learning to control your powers, maybe even firing an energy blast at a dummy or paper target or two. But you’d never tried to hurt anyone. Not on purpose.

“Why are you helping him!?” You yelled out to her, swerving again as she tried to get close enough to you to land a hit. You generated an orb of light energy from one hand, letting it destabilize before you threw it towards her. It collapsed into itself, exploding to make a shockwave through the air that pushed her back again.

“He’s going to make it so we never have to hide what we are again!” She growled back in frustration, steadying herself in the air before her eyes hazed over into solid white.

You doubted that could be good, and of course it wasn’t as she raised her arms, a tornado like blast of wind then trying to knock you from the sky. You were able to shield yourself somewhat with your force fields, but the barrage of debris and wreckage that came with the winds made it too difficult to keep track of her as she did nearly land a direct lightning strike then.

“You’re wrong!” You yelled back, even as you felt numb and disoriented briefly, like the electricity surge was messing with your own energy. “He’s just using all of you! He only wants slaves, nothing more! And you’re just going to hand us all to him!”

She didn’t answer back after that, but you knew it wasn’t as if you could change anyone’s mind for them. She’d have to live with her own choices, just as you’d have to live with yours.

After a good while of this tit for tat though, you were really trying to take her out of the sky at last, knowing you needed to find and help the others as this had already been going on for far too long. You started trying to get her in the chest with white energy beam after energy beam shooting from your hands. She was fast, but you were able to at least get her in one shoulder at last as she spun with the force, losing altitude quickly with the hit.

Even as she fell, you could see her already correcting course though, trying to take aim at you again as she glared upwards.

But you didn’t get to see what happened next. A three fingered hand grasped your left arm suddenly from thin air, and then you were collapsing onto the floor of the jet you’d come here in.

“Gotcha, time to go!” Kurt spoke quickly as you looked to him in surprise, that strange burning smell hanging in the air briefly that always accompanied his teleporting. It was as instant a feeling as moving with Peter, but thankfully without the subsequent vertigo as you stood quickly, powering down, even as you were already looking around for the speedster.

With relief you did see Jean cradling the Professor’s head as they sat on the floor, Xavier unconscious but still breathing. But you did not see Peter or Raven.

Moira and Hank were already firing up the jet engines and you grabbed hold to the wall as you felt the craft quickly rising. “What about Peter and Raven?” You called out over the noise of the turbines spooling up faster and faster.

“We’ll have to trust them to figure it out, we’ve got to get Charles out of here now!” Hank answered back, leaving no room for debate.

You felt an unease building in your stomach, but it was true that if Apocalypse got Xavier, that Peter, Raven, or anyone else would then no longer matter anyway. At least for now you could hope Peter would just take Raven and run somewhere far from here. Xavier and Jean could use their psychic abilities to find them later and you could reunite.

But a hard thud above you left you all looking upward as the jet rattled.

“What the hell was that!?” Moira called out.

As soon as you saw that pinkish energy blade emerging through the jet’s hull, you had already powered up again, glowing and ready to shield the others as best you could. Apocalypse’s soldiers were proving too difficult to shake.

Yet Jean had other plans, “Everyone, grab onto Kurt!” She yelled.

You didn’t know what altitude you were already at, but you knew it wasn’t a survivable one for the jet itself if it was ditched now. Yet a fight in this close of quarters with all your powers would likely end in the same result. So her choice wasn’t as irrational as it first seemed.

You reached one hand quickly back, firmly grabbing onto Kurt’s shoulder, even as you kept your other hand raised towards where the metal winged mutant and the blade wielding woman were now trying to force their way in through the breach they’d created in the hull.

“I’ve never done it with this many people!” Kurt warned as you all held to him.

“Get us out of here!” Jean commanded, her desperation bringing out a forcefulness you hadn’t yet seen from her.

But Kurt was still straining, the sound of his opening whatever portal he used clearly heard but not bringing you anywhere as he tried several times.

The man with the metal wings jumped down into the cockpit, now just feet away as you realized what you had to do.

“Go without me!” You screamed over the rush of wind now coming through the hull breach. You let go of Kurt, making direct eye contact with Jean.

You could get out on your own. At least you were going to try. It was the only way. Kurt wasn’t able to take you all.

You felt that Jean was listening, that she heard your thoughts and that as difficult as it was, she agreed just as quickly. It was the only way.

“Do it!” She urged Kurt even through the horrified look he gave you both.

“I’m taking it down.” You also heard her voice say in your head almost simultaneously. That briefest warning to ready yourself before she willed the controls to throw the plane into a nosedive and cause Apocalypse’s soldiers to lose their footing.

The last you saw of your other friends was still their shocked and frightened expressions as they disappeared from right in front of you. But this was your only chance as well, propelling yourself as fast you could, right through the fading cloud of gas they left behind and past the now tumbling winged mutant as all your focus went to that small square of sunlight that they’d cut into the hull.

It was your one window of survival. For just the briefest moment, you felt him try to grab hold of your leg as you flew past him. But you kicked him with the other leg as hard as you could manage, breaking free into the open air as the jet plummeted on without you.

Out the corner of your eye you saw the woman had remained on the outside of the jet, but jumped free from it as well. You lost sight of her as you both fell, focusing only on trying to slow your descent to a survivable speed. It was one thing to levitate yourself up from a neutral position, and wholly another to try and control your energy field around yourself enough to reverse the terminal velocity transferred to you from being within a crashing plane.

The ground still came too fast, too hard. You blacked out on impact, laying alone in the dirt as your light energy faded, receding back inside you.

————————————

An unknown time later, something jolted you awake. You could hear screaming as you opened your eyes. You were laying on your side. Everything hurt and you could taste blood in your mouth.

But you were already forcing yourself back up as you swallowed. Disoriented as you were, you still recognized that voice. It was Peter. He was hurt.

You were looking all around you, and it didn’t take long to see the source and reason for the screams.

Not far from you at all, Apocalypse stood in a clearing from all the rubble. Peter right beside him, half crumpled to the ground. One of Peter’s feet was encased in the earth, trapping him there like an animal in a snare. His other leg was clearly broken, twisted at a grossly unnatural angle.

You felt a foreign rage beginning to burn up inside you, but before you could even physically react you saw the woman with the katana again. Nowhere in your mind did you take any time to consider how she would look so clean and uninjured having just come from the same circumstances as you of barely escaping the crashing jet.

All you saw was her walking towards her master, sword at the ready to finish Peter.

“Stop, (Y/N)!”

Charles screaming inside your head was the only thing that kept you from revealing yourself at that moment.

“It’s Raven! I’m telling you, it’s Raven!” Even Charles was struggling to break through your flaring emotions, as he repeated himself desperately. “He’ll kill you, (Y/N)! Stay in place, I beg you!”

The Professor had never spoken to you in such a way before. You gripped onto the broken wall in front of you, still only just obscured from their view as you saw Apocalypse grab Peter by the hair, jerking the young man’s head back roughly to expose his throat to the woman.

“It’s Raven, please trust her!” Charles did not let go. You could feel him actually starting to control you even, something he had absolutely never done before, though your emotions were exploding like they also never had. He didn’t want you to make a life ending mistake.

“(Y/N), please.” He called again and you realized you were being held in place, unable to move out any further. You were forced to only watch as the woman raised her blade, Peter wincing in fear and pain beneath her as she swung it.

But it was only Apocalypse’s throat that ripped open. Yet even in your surprise, any sense of victory was still non existent. No blood poured from the wound, and it healed completely within moments as he only grabbed his supposed traitor by the neck, holding her up immediately.

Raven’s feet hung in the air while she choked, her blue skin and true appearance quickly returning as she could no longer control her disguise as Apocalypse strangled her.

And it was only then that you felt Xavier letting go of you, in his own shock as Apocalypse tried to bait him out.

“Charles! Come! Rescue your weaklings!” Apocalypse challenged aloud, still dangling the now helpless Raven while Peter stayed trapped at their feet. “Give your life for theirs!”

He was going to kill her right in front of you. You powered up, knowing there was no other choice. You had to-

“No. I’m still connected to him. Let me get in his head, (Y/N), then you can go to them.” The professor spoke quickly, yet with a touch of new resolve.

“Charles! Will you do nothing?” The false god continued to bellow.

This time you listened without being forced to. You did see Apocalypse pause as if Xavier was indeed making contact. It was still an agonizing wait, but when he finally let go of Raven, you allowed yourself some shred of hope. You’d never seen anyone be able to overpower the Professor mentally, once he was fully in.

But that hope was also short lived as just moments later Apocalypse raised his hand abruptly. At will he dissolved the outer wall of a nearby building. You could see Scott and Hank then exposed, themselves just as surprised and staring out. But you knew it could only mean that Apocalypse had used Xavier’s connection against him just that quickly to root out his hiding place.

This could be the end then. You resigned yourself that the only choice was to die fighting if that is what it had to be. But you weren’t as alone as you thought.

As Apocalypse had left Peter and Raven behind, now striding confidently to his prize, two massive steel beams suddenly shot into his path. They buried themselves into the ground, crossing into an X to block him.

You looked back into the sky, glad in this single moment that you had been right about at least one thing. Magneto wouldn’t give Xavier up in the end. Not without bloodshed anyway.

“You betray me?” Apocalypse asked, already turning to deal with Erik instead.

“No. I betrayed them.” Magneto unleashed hell then, every bit of metal he could pull shooting towards Apocalypse in an unending assault as the other raised a shield that incinerated each and every piece as it hit. But doing so clearly taxed him, allowing the perfect moment for the rest of you to join the battlefield.

You got to Peter almost simultaneously as Hank got to Raven. You and Beast were clearly in the same mindset of getting the injured out of the immediate firefight before you would join in.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, the Professor froze me,” You spoke in quick apology to Peter, using a small energy blast to break up the earth that had been hardened around his trapped foot. Once cracked, you broke the rest of it free just with your fingers.

He was obviously surprised, grateful, and maybe even confused all at once as you gently lifted him with the help of your powers. You wrapped his arm around your shoulders, trying to mind his broken leg as you helped support him while gliding over to a safer spot some distance away.

“Stay here.” You spoke, sitting him down so his back was against a mostly still standing wall to shelter them.

Hank was sitting Raven down in the same manner beside him as Peter suddenly spoke up to you. “Wait.”

You were still crouched in front of him, you’d been about to stand back up when his hand went around the back of your neck and pulled you in closer.

Before you could register anything else, you felt his lips press against yours. It was a bit harsh, desperate even, and then it was over just as fast as you pulled back in surprise.

“In case we don’t ever get to make it to that arcade,” he responded to your shocked expression that was still evident even in your energy form like this.

You took a breath, now was not the time for verbalizing any of this. But you wanted to show you agreed with the sentiment. You leaned back in, kissing him yourself for one longer moment, one hand gently cupping the side of his face before you stood back up. He allowed the contact readily and you could only wonder what it felt like to him when you were enveloped in light like this.

Hank and Raven just gave you both the most confused of looks, but nothing was said as you and Beast had then rushed back off to throw yourselves into the fight.

——————————

(Continued in next chapter here)

[scones-and-texting-and-murder]

if you would’ve been the one

(1300 words, rated T, read on ao3)

When it happens, Dean’s so hyped up by the adrenaline still coursing through his system that he almost doesn’t notice. It’s not until Sam dispatches the last vamp and Dean sags a little in relief, only to realize he can’t move. He’s pinned, like a butterfly in a display case, like he’s back on the rack.

It’s almost funny. That he could battle every sort of evil creature out there—demons, monsters, even God for fuck’s sake, only to be taken down by a bit of unfinished carpentry. He ponders the cosmic significance. Maybe there’s the start of a Jesus metaphor here, with that single nail between his flesh and the wooden post, like he’s only up to C-R-U in a fucked up game of H-O-R-S-E.

Then he remembers there is no God, no universe sending him signs or trying to teach him a lesson. Just his own free will and, apparently, shitty fucking luck that’s brought him to this inglorious moment.

Sam doesn’t get it, not at first, promising he’ll run and call for help, do what he can to patch him up but Dean stops him, asks him to stay. Yeah, they could probably do all that but Dean realizes something: he’s tired. And not only that, he’s ready.

Each night since Cas has been gone, Dean lies in bed and turns his name around and around in his mind, like a rock in a tumbler, smoothing all sides of it with his thoughts. It’s not praying, not quite, the intention isn’t there, but if Cas can still sense his longing, well, he's got that in spades. Cas gave his life for Dean, professing his love in a way that couldn’t have been more clear and Dean…he just stood there processing it all.

Dean tried to do what he always does and tucked the stunned grief he felt at losing him deep inside where the jagged edges couldn’t harm him. He rededicated himself to powering Jack up, to killing God, like finishing that would somehow make Cas’s sacrifice worth it. And when Jack became whatever it was that he became, Dean didn’t ask about Cas, even though the question was right there, trying to force its way out of his throat. Instead, he swallowed it back down. Cas had said that moment was the purest happiness he’d ever known and Dean didn’t know what to say next without defiling it.

It’s the shittiest version of waiting too long to text back until so much time has passed that it’s become awkward.

But now, with this piece of metal jabbed into what sure as fuck feels like some important organs, he finds he has some time to think. He’s got nothing left to lose, so he lets Cas’s name become an honest prayer.

The whoosh is nearly instantaneous, somehow closer than even the rushing of his pulse in his ears. It seems fitting that they’re back in a barn, although this time Dean’s the one being impaled. He hears a crackling, but it isn’t the lights showering him in sparks, just the anger flickering off of him, electricity as blue as his eyes.

He doesn’t even say it, no Hello, Dean, and yeah, Cas is pissed and Dean deserves that.

As Cas approaches, Dean realizes Sam doesn’t seem to notice him, in fact he’s faded out into the background so it’s just the two of them.

“You called?” His tone is cold, much closer to the first time they met in a barn than the last time they were together. Cas had been so human, then, emotion choking his words and filling his eyes with tears.

“I, uh, find myself in a bit of a pickle,” Dean says, and already that’s wrong.

Cas raises an eyebrow. “More like a piece of art hung on the wall.”

Dean’s mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. “Was that a joke?”

“What is it you need from me, Dean?”

It should be obvious, but Dean can’t seem to say it.

“The stories they will tell,” Cas begins, “of Dean Winchester, the greatest hunter of his time, brought down by a lowly nail.” He sighs, and holds out two fingers. “I can do this but it would’ve been nice if you’d at least kept up to date on your tetanus shots.”

Dean feels a grinding in his teeth that he probably can’t yet blame on lockjaw. He tries to duck out of Cas’s reach. “Okay, stop.”

With a look of surprise, Cas does.

“Listen, I know I should’ve contacted you earlier. I get you’re mad, I do, but all those things you said…I didn’t want you to come back and realize how wrong you were.”

“So you’ve been looking for a way to ‘let me down easy’,” he says, air quotes and all, and goddammit Dean loves him. He loves his cranky angel ass and his wild hair and stupidly blue eyes the way he’s insisted on leaving Dean affixed to this pole while they talk.

“I love you, too. I have for so long. I never dreamed you could feel the same way, not like that.” Dean can barely breathe now that he's said the words out loud.

“You’re a hard man to pin down, Dean Winchester.” There’s a small smile playing around Cas's mouth now, and the relief has Dean laughing much harder than he would at the terrible pun. It hurts and his laughter turns to a grimace. Cas touches his arm. “Let me heal you.”

But Dean shakes his head, reaching to take his hand instead. “I’m ready, Cas. Ready for what’s next. If you heal me, Sam’s going to stay and keep hunting and maybe that’s what he wants but maybe it isn’t. Either way, he’s never going to decide for himself while I’m still here.”

Cas’s face is as serious as Dean’s ever seen it, but he sees a flicker of hope in his eyes. “And you?”

“Thought maybe you could escort me upstairs and we could spend eternity making up for all we missed down here.” Cas’s face goes soft and Dean bring their joined hands to his mouth, kissing his knuckles gently. “I wish it would’ve been you,” Dean says softly. “Nailing me from behind like this.”

At that, Sam suddenly zooms back into focus, his face anguished. “Cas! Oh, thank God you’re here. Dean’s—“

“Sammy, stop. I’m okay. We got a change in plans, though.”

Confused, Sam looks between them, finally noticing their joined hands.

“We’re free now. Free to make our own choices and for once in my life I’m going to be selfish. I choose Cas. I dragged you back into this life and now I’m shoving you out of it again. You want to keep hunting? That’s up to you. But if you want to go find Eileen and settle down, that’s up to you, too.”

Sam blinks, clearly caught off guard. “Dean, are you sure?”

Dean catches Cas’s eye and they share a smile. “As sure as I’ve ever been.” Dean tries to reach for his brother to hug him, but he’s brought up short. “Cas, could you…”

“Of course, Dean.” With a wave of his hand, Dean’s free and he steps forward to embrace Sam. “Go have the life you always wanted. Have a bunch of fat babies and name one of them after me.”

Cas furrows his brow like maybe he’s seeing the future. “But don’t plaster his name on his clothing. That’s just basic child safety.”

It hurts him to see his little brother cry, but Dean knows this isn’t the end for them. “Tell them how I was the coolest and better looking brother.”

Sam nods. “I will definitely not do that.”

They hug one last time and Dean murmurs in his ear. “I love you and I’m proud of you. I’ll see you on the other side.”

Sam gives him one last bone-crushing squeeze before releasing him. “Take good care of him, Cas.”

“I will,” Cas promises.

Dean gives Cas his best blue steel. “Oh, he will.”

With that, Sam leaves and Dean knows he could never bear to watch him walk away without Cas strong and steady at his side.

Cas must sense the hesitation. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Dean answers him with a kiss.

[vannahfanfics]

Bird-Isms

Category: Mild Romantic Fluff, Comedy

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Fuyumi Todoroki, Keigo Takami

“Ahh, I shouldn’t be doing this,” Fuyumi scolded herself as she stood in line at a fried chicken joint, patting her cheek and pouting at her weakness. She’d only meant to run to the office supply store to grab more red pens, but the scent of deep-fried chicken tenders had simply been too strong for her hungry tummy to ignore. She’d yielded to its insistent yowls and cramping tantrum, trudging into the small diner with a heavy heart and salivating mouth. Since the new year, she’d vowed to eat healthier, but it seemed that her stomach still clung stubbornly to unhealthy morsels. A cheat day or two isn’t terrible, right? she tried to convince herself as she walked up to the counter. 

She was still trying to persuade herself that she wasn’t committing some kind of cardinal sin when the employee handed her a basket of hand-breaded, crispy tenders and golden-brown crinkle-cut fries. Despite her wrestle with guilt, her mouth flooded with saliva at the promise of the salty meal to come. Slurping at her soda as if she could drown her sorrows with it, Fuyumi drizzled ketchup across the fried foods before headed to a table in the corner. As she weaved around the young teenagers and families packing the joint, she kept her basket tucked against her chest to avoid spilling it. 

That ended up backfiring, however, when someone cut in front of her and she slammed right into their red-winged back. 

Fuyumi released an unflattering sound when the basket flipped up, painting the bust of her skirt in bright red ketchup as the chicken tenders and fries smooshed against her body. Worse, she gripped her soda on reflex, popping off the lid and sending fizzy soda and ice cascading down her hands and to the floor. In her shock, she lost her grip on the basket, and it clattered to the floor. She couldn’t even lament the cosmic joke that was foiled lunch. She just stood there, blinking rapidly with her mouth open, as the stranger whirled on his heels. 

“I’m so sorry!” he cried, crimson wings flapping anxiously and ruffling the napkins sitting on the table nearby with their winds. “Ugh, I tell the owner all the time that they need to upsize, I’m always bungling around in her trying not to knock over things,” he groaned while grabbing a fistful of napkins from the nearby container. He blushed a little and gestured to her chest with a meek, “May I, miss?” 

“O-oh!” she stammered, his question bringing her out of her stupor. She pulled at the hem of her shirt, stretching the fabric so the man could lean in to carefully scrape the thick globs of ketchup away. His wind-tossed tufts of blond hair bounced with each coordinated movement, and his golden eyes flickered up every so often to make sure that she was comfortable. After her frazzled neurons regained their function to synapse, she let out another gasp when she realized just who was wiping ketchup off her clothes. 

“Y-You’re Hawks!” 

“The one and only,” he winked and straightened, tossing the bunched-up, soiled napkins into a nearby garbage can. “I would say ‘pleasure to make your acquaintance,’ but I’m sure you’re not jazzed about me ruining your shirt.” 

Eyes fluttering, Fuyumi glanced down. Her nice button-up, ruffled white blouse was now blotched with orange-pink stains and smears. She hurriedly looked up, flapping her hands dismissively. 

“No, no! It’s my fault for running into you! I should have been more careful!” 

“Nonsense,” Hawks insisted, then looked down to the remains of her chicken tenders and fries scattered across the red-and-white tiled floor. “It appears I’ve also ruined your lunch,” he chuckled, looking up at her with gleaming eyes. “We could sit here and argue about who’s fault this travesty is all day, but regardless, I won’t be satisfied until you let me buy you a replacement meal.” 

Fuyumi flushed darkly and began to refuse, but the creep of Hawks’ eyebrow up his forehead silenced her. She swallowed her words and nodded meekly, prompting the hero to smile. Dizzily, she fancied that he had a rather nice smile, bright and warm and charming. She was floating on air after the whirlwind encounter, so she offered no resistance as Hawks led her to his booth by a hand on the small of her back. She sank into the pleather seat, slumping into its squeaky embrace, and pinched her thigh to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Instead of the gloom of her bedroom, when she opened her eyes she was greeted with the sight of Hawks sliding into the booth and placing a fresh basket of chicken tenders in front of her. 

“Thank you. This is really too much,” she said shyly, squirming and wringing her hands in her lap. With how much her belly was twisting, she doubted she could even manage two bits of the tenders now. Completely unfazed, Hawks plucked a chicken tender from his own basket and waved it around emphatically. 

“Please, it’s the least I can do for causing you the trouble of having to go to the dry cleaners,” he smiled. “I insist.” Not wishing to be rude, Fuyumi took a French fry and nibbled half-heartedly on it, giving Hawks a bashful smile. “What’s your name, miss?” 

“Fuyumi Todoroki. You work with my father, Endeavor.” 

“No kidding?” he said, eyebrows shooting up his forehead as he continued to wave the chicken tender around like a baton. “You must take after your mother because a woman as pretty as you sure couldn’t have come from a brute like him.” Fuyumi’s face flushed the color of the ketchup that had just stained her shirt, and Hawks only smirked mischievously, crunching down on the end of the chicken tender at last. “So what do you do?” he asked, the bit of chicken tender wedged into the pouch of his cheek. 

“I’m a teacher,” she answered. Though it was intimidating at first to reckon with eating lunch with the number-two pro hero, Hawks’ effortless charisma had already appeased Fuyumi’s nerves somewhat. She found that her stomach had settled so she could actually enjoy the meal he’d graciously bought her. “I teach elementary school not far from here,” she continued as she munched on her chicken. “I didn’t inherit a powerful Quirk, so I decided that instilling knowledge in the next generation was the best way I could serve my community. Besides, I love children.” 

“Hehe, yeah, the little rascals are adorable,” Hawks hummed, leaning a cheek in his hand as he casually tossed a chicken tender up, let it land in the basket, picked it up, and repeated it. Fuyumi watched him play with his food with slowly pinching eyebrows; she thought at first that he wasn’t even aware of it, yet his eyes glittered and looked down at his food every few seconds, implying otherwise. She jumped when he suddenly snatched it in mid-air and shoved almost the entire thing in his mouth. “So are you the oldest?” he asked around the large tender crammed in his cheeks. 

“Erm… yes,” Fuyumi said, really not sure what to think about Hawks’ odd behavior. “I have a younger brother in college, and then you must know Shoto, who attends U.A.” She tried not to shudder as Hawks chewed and swallowed the chicken tender, making a loud gulping noise. When he looked down at the basket, he picked up a French fry and then inexplicably tossed it at the window. It collided with the glass with a loud thunk, and Hawks cooed in delight, feathers ruffling. Fuyumi hid her chuckle behind her hand, though her amusement showed in the scrunch of her eyebrows. Hawks was completely oblivious to her, bobbing his head a little as he tossed another fry at the window. 

He’s a grown man! Is he really enjoying playing with his food? It was so impossibly ridiculous. Fuyumi scolded her students at lunch all the time for playing with their food, yet here was a sophisticated twenty-something pro hero chucking French fries around! Though she should be disgusted, Fuyumi found it oddly endearing; his golden eyes sparkled like topazes as delight filled them to the brim, and a childlike smile adorned his face. 

When a snicker managed to sneak out from behind Fuyumi’s fingers, Hawks looked at her quizzically. 

“Is something funny?” 

Fuyumi debated whether or not she should say anything, but she really couldn’t think of a good excuse for laughing. Besides, she was madly curious.

“Hawks, um… Do you realize that you play with your food?” 

The hero blinked at her, then looked down at the French fries and crumbs littering the table. A pink haze blossomed on his cheeks, prompting him to wrap his hands around his face and look at Fuyumi in complete embarrassment. His wings drew close around his body as if to shield him from her inquisition, but he looked so cute that Fuyumi couldn’t help but let out another light-hearted chuckle. “Don’t be embarrassed! I’m only curious, that’s all.”

“It’s my Quirk,” he admitted, parting his fingers so he could mutter but still hiding his blush from her. “I’ve got bird tendencies, and one of those is… playing with my food. I don’t even realize I’m doing it. Sorry, I must have looked like such a kid! And here I was wanting to impress Endeavor’s pretty daughter…” 

Fuyumi blushed at his second mindless flirt but fought past her bashfulness to reach out and pat his arm encouragingly. 

“Don’t worry! As I said, I was only curious. To be honest… It’s kind of adorable.” When Hawks looked at her owlishly, she flushed darker and flapped her hands wildly. “I-I’m sorry! That just kind of slipped out. You probably don’t take well to being called something like that; I didn’t mean to insult you, I just— oh my, I can’t believe I just called the number-two hero adorable!” It was her turn to cover her face; she buried it in her hands, wincing at the heat rolling off her flushed skin in waves. Though part of her didn’t want to look at him but rather wanted to melt through the pleather seat, she couldn’t bear not knowing Hawks’ reaction either. Meekly, she parted her fingers to peer worriedly at him. 

Hawks’ expression could only be described as “a kid in a candy store.” 

“You think I’m adorable, Fuyumi?” he grinned. His wings flapped behind him, feathers vibrating to try to channel the sheer elation welling up in his body. Fuyumi slowly lowered her hands, almost confused by his happiness. He continued to beam at her as he explained, “Everyone always teases me about my bird traits. Nobody understands how hard it is having DNA that’s basically part avian… So it’s really reassuring to hear you call me that!” He tipped his head slightly, scrunching up his eyes as he smiled so hard it was blinding. A warm, fuzzy feeling bubbled up within Fuyumi, making her return his smile. 

“Oh, well… I’m glad you feel that way.” 

“Hehe, adorable,” he cooed, wiggling his shoulders in satisfaction. Fuyumi giggled again; he really was quite a childish man, but she simply couldn’t help but be endeared by his antics. 

Little chirps and tweets of delight bubbled from Hawks mouth as he polished off his chicken tenders and fries. He even finished off some of Fuyumi’s meal that she couldn’t finish. As he was licking the oil and crumbs from his fingers, Fuyumi bowed her head respectfully. 

“Thank you for treating me.” 

“Of course! My pleasure,” he quipped, popping a finger out of his mouth. He walked out the door with her, despite her embarrassment that someone would see them together. He slipped his hands into his pockets as they lingered on the sidewalk outside of the diner. Fuyumi stood shyly in front of him, clasping her hands while slowly swaying from side to side. “I enjoyed meeting you, Fuyumi. Really,” he said, giving her a serious look that made her heart thrum in her chest. “Maybe this is too forward of me, but perhaps we’ll see each other again sometime?” 

Reeling, it took Fuyumi a moment to process before she quickly sputtered, “Yes! I would like that very much.” Her face continued to redden as he gazed at her with lidded eyes, embers burning in the golden seams of his irises. “Hawks—” 

“Keigo. Call me Keigo,” he said softly. Fuyumi let out a little gasp, her cheeks growing even warmer. It was an honor to be trusted with his true name, one she wouldn’t take lightly. 

“Keigo,” she repeated, enjoying the way it rolled over her tongue. “Keigo, I look forward to when we meet again.” 

Ever the devilish flirt, he licked his teeth and tossed her a wink. 

“Until next time, then, Fuyumi Todoroki,” he said before diving in to kiss her on the cheek. Before she could even process the brush of his lips over her blushing skin, he was gone, flying into the air in a flurry of crimson feathers. She reached up to cup her cheek as she whirled on her heel, watching him bank around the corner and disappear from sight. The titillation of her nerves was the only proof it had even happened, bringing a giddy smile to her face. She wondered how close she would get to know Keigo and his bird-isms in the coming days…

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[haberdashing]

Go To The Mirror, Boy!

Post-MAG 200, Martin has an unexpected encounter while going through his daily routine.

on AO3

It hadn't been all that hard for Martin to find a job in this new world, really, even in the middle of London, even without any paperwork to his name. It wasn't the first time he'd had to seek out jobs that didn't ask too many questions, after all, jobs that mostly just wanted warm bodies that did as they were told and paid in cash. They looked at him a little funny, sure, and Martin could imagine any number of reasons why, but he knew better than to pry about the details.

He was starting to get into a routine now. For the first few months he'd brought food from the flat that he was beginning to tentatively call home because it was cheaper than the alternative, but now he'd started eating out on Mondays (as a way to make the start of the work week less painful) and Fridays (as a reward for making it through the week) at some of the cheaper restaurants near his current job site.

Today was a Friday, and on today's lunch break he had decided to check out a little café that had caught his eye a few weeks back, an unassuming hole in the wall that offered a little of everything and didn't charge a fortune for it, going off of the menu out front.

The workers all gave him a warm smile as he entered, and one of them even waved at him--were they all really that friendly, he wondered, or just that desperate for customers? Probably the latter, Martin figured from his own experience working in food service, but it was hard to know for sure.

He looked at the menu and the food on display for a long moment before deciding on a ready-made slice of vegetarian pizza and getting a cup of ice water to go with it, and all throughout the transaction the cashier and the other workers behind the counter kept up with those wide smiles. Honestly, it was to the point where Martin was getting a bit nervous, starting to remember how often in his past a smile had concealed something far worse...

Then, as the cashier handed over his food, they said in a conversational tone, "Boss let you out a few minutes early today, huh? Must be nice."

"Wh-"

Martin didn't have time to finish his thought, though, because right at that moment the bell on the café's door rang out, and in walked... well, in walked himself.

It wasn't a perfect mirror image, truth be told. The man walking up to the counter was missing the scar on his neck, still had hair that was a bright and untainted red (and noticeably shorter than Martin kept it these days to boot), his skin was a bit less pale and his shoulders a bit more slouched... but there was no mistaking that the man walking up to the counter looked uncannily like him, as if they were twins.

Martin knew the reality of the situation, though. Honestly, being twins would be a lot easier to explain than the truth.

Martin took a seat at a table off to the side and began to eat, though he kept glancing at his doppelganger as the man ordered--also getting a slice of vegetable pizza and a cup of ice water, as it happened. Martin wasn't sure if meeting him was a good idea, though the expression on his face (and that of several of the workers) made it clear that he'd noticed the connection, so he figured he would leave the decision up to his other self to make.

The man that looked almost exactly like him didn't hesitate to claim the seat across from him, or to speak up once he'd gotten himself settled.

"...I don't suppose you've heard any weird family rumors about being switched at birth?" The voice was the same as his own, too, and though the man sounded awfully unsure of himself, it was hard to know whether that was a personality trait or just a side effect of the strange situation he'd found himself in.

Martin laughed a little as he shook his head. "Can't say that I have, no. You?"

"No dice." He hesitated for a moment before adding, "D'you mind getting to know each other a bit, in case people end up getting us confused down the line or something?"

"Fine by me. I work a few blocks from here, have for some months now. The name's Martin Blackwood."

His other self let out a surprised exhale, and Martin had to stifle the laugh that started to bubble up in response. "You're joking."

"Don't tell me. Same name, too?"

"Right in one. First and last. What are the odds?"

The odds weren’t that bad, really. Martin should have figured that there would probably be another him out there somewhere in London, working the same sort of menial jobs... but he didn't think sharing that information, getting into how he was from an alternate dimension and had probably helped unleash cosmic horrors into this in one, was his best move here. Instead, Martin just shook his head again and said, "That's wild."

"You're telling me."

The two ate in silence for a moment before Martin worked up the courage to ask his other self a question that had been on his mind since they first locked eyes on one another.

"I wonder if, if we've got anything else in common, like work history, or mutual friends... You wouldn't happen to know a, a Jonathan Sims, would you?"

The other Martin gulped down a bite of pizza, his eyes bulging out. "Jonathan Sims?"

"Yeah, that's the one, is, is that a yes?"

His other self's eyes narrowed, though there was no real fire to their stare. "How do you know my prick of a neighbor?"

"It's... it's a long story, really. So he's your neighbor, then?" A hint of shaky laughter sneaked its way into Martin's voice as he spoke. Part of him wanted to refute that Jon--this world's Jon--was a prick, but honestly... honestly, that wasn't a point he was willing to argue, even if the man had ended up growing on him quite a lot over the years.

"He is, and he keeps sending me these passive-aggressive noise complaints! First he threatened to send an army of cats after me if I didn't stop my dog from barking--I still don't know if that was meant as some sort of bizarre joke or what--and then he offered me harmonica lessons, of all things, but only if I stop playing loudly enough he can hear it through the walls! What's his deal?"

Martin had never gotten a dog, though he had longed to have one of his own all his life, and while he'd picked up a cheap, dusty harmonica at a thrift store once on a whim, he'd never actually worked up the nerve to try playing the thing. Little differences there, facts he quietly filed away for future reference... but that wasn't the most important thing now, was it?

"I don't know if I can explain his whole deal in the course of one lunch break, but..." Martin couldn't help but break out into a grin. "I really think you should take him up on those harmonica lessons."

[phykios]

people on ao3 were thirsty for this fic so... here you go, tumblr ❤ 

put on the red light M, sex work au, modern royalty au, no powers au  [read on ao3]

🌊🌊🌊

Sometimes, she really regrets being best friends with Piper.

Said best friend still gapes at her from across the table, jaw practically on the floor. “Never?”

Annabeth rolls her eyes. “Never.”

“Not even, like, at school?”

“When I would have had the time?” she asks. “I was attempting a five-year program in four years, and then… well, you know.” And she does know, all about the very exciting drama that went down in Annabeth’s senior year.

Piper is still flabbergasted. “Not even high school?”

Annabeth takes a sip of her drink. “I wasn’t exactly a hot commodity in high school.” She’d been passively pretty all her life, but she hadn’t exactly been what some might call Girlfriend material, capital G. She’d stuck to her fifteen year plan to the letter, eschewing most social contact, working herself into the ground to overcome ADHD by sheer force of will and get into Harvard, a plan which allowed approximately zero time for a boyfriend. Not that there were even boys that she had really liked at the time.

The only boy she had ever considered liking in that way, well. She had lost contact with him a while ago.

“I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it or not, Ripley, it’s true. I’ve never had sex. You happy?”

“I mean, if you don’t mind me asking, are you ace?” Piper asks. “Because that’s totally cool, of course.”

She shakes her head. “Definitely not ace.” She has a minor collection of personal massagers and insertable devices should she ever need to take care of an urge, and plenty of fantasies she can call on whenever the need arises--a system which has worked just fine for years.

“I just…” Piper stares, unconvincingly. “How?”

Shrugging, she takes another sip of coffee. “Just never got around to it, I guess.”

It’s not something she’s proud of, but by the same token, it’s not something that brings her shame, either. It is what it is; Annabeth, a notable workaholic, has never had sex with another person in her life. In some ways, it sucks, sure, but in other ways, it’s been a blessing in disguise. After all, no previous partners means that there’s no one to spread any dirt on the newly minted Princess Anja Elisabet of Sweden.

But Piper isn’t having it.

“Do you… want to have sex?” she asks. “Like, ever?”

As the daughter of one of the biggest movie stars in the world, she knows that Piper has had her fair share of high profile relationships, something that earned her a little bit of a nasty (and, quite frankly, racist) reputation among the paparazzi, which is ridiculous, since Piper is one of the most effortlessly gracious and classy people Annabeth knows. Piper does not go slinging herself and her partners around in the media like some of her contemporaries; instead, she likes to keep her personal details a bit closer to the chest, sharing them only with trusted confidants, like Annabeth, who knows full well how much Piper enjoys the act of sex. Sex for Piper isn’t dirty or taboo, it’s fun and it’s being close with other people, it’s liberating and exciting and intimate, and she extols its virtues whenever asked to give her opinion.

She makes sex sound really good, but never in a way that makes Annabeth feel ashamed for never having done it. Until now, of course. “Well… yeah,” says Annabeth. “I’d like to. I mean, I think it’d be kind of nice, you know, to do it at least once.”

“But then you’d have to start dating,” Piper surmises.

“Yeah,” says Annabeth, glumly.

Dating is a notorious problem for people in her line of work. Royalty, not architects, that is. Dating for architects is easy; just find someone who doesn’t mind the type A personalities and the obsession with work. Dating for royals is… significantly harder, and not really something she wants to engage with right now. She’s only been a royal for a few years, after all—she still feels like it’s a big cosmic joke, that someone is going to unearth some old documents or reveal a couple of forgeries that will bring the whole thing crashing down, and she doesn’t want to bring an outsider into all that drama, let alone deal with it herself.

Piper takes a sip of her drink, thoughtful, then lays out her next question carefully. “Have you ever considered a one-night stand?”

Annabeth stares. “You’re kidding me.”

“I’m not! People do it.”

“Yeah,” she scoffs, “people. Not me.”

“It’s really not hard,” Piper says, “I’ve done it plenty of times.”

“What, you want me to make a tinder?”

She laughs. “God, wouldn’t that be a riot. But no, I mean, there have to be other single royals or celebs around. Why not one of them?”

“Because they’re all insufferable social-climbing jackasses that make me want to rip my skull out of my face every time I’m forced to listen to them at a state dinner.”

“Okay, then.” Never one to be deterred, Piper pulls out her phone, then waits until Annabeth has taken a sip of her drink, presumably to keep her from immediately disagreeing, before dropping the bomb to end all bombs. “Let’s get you an escort.”

Annabeth snorts iced coffee directly out of her nose.

“Shit! Sorry!” Piper shoves a handful of napkins at her. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, do you need water?”

Wheezing, Annabeth shakes her head. “Give me a sec,” she coughs, fingers covering her mouth.

Thank God she’s got her trusty, anti-pap hat on. If anyone took a picture of her like this, her uncle would probably disown her.

“What the hell, Piper?” she rasps when she can finally breathe again.

“I’m so sorry, I should have timed that better.”

“No, I mean—”  she coughs again. “The other thing.”

She raises an eyebrow. “The escort?”

“Keep your voice down!” On instinct, she glances around the London cafe, looking for any stray microphones. Satisfied that no one is listening for the moment, she turns back to her insane best friend. “Yes, the… that thing.”

“It’s not that crazy,” says Piper, turning back to her phone. “We’ll find you a really nice one, someone super high class and discreet, draw up an NDA, and then you can cross it off your bucket list. Man or woman?”

“Man, but—" she sputters. “I—I can’t see a prostitute! Can you imagine the scandal if it got out?”

Forget the iced coffee thing. The princess of Sweden, caught with a hooker… Annabeth is nauseous just thinking about the media circus.

“Not a prostitute,” Piper corrects. “An escort.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Same umbrella, but no.” She types away, faster than Annabeth can keep track of. “Pimping is illegal here, but escorts usually have managers.”

“Be that as it may,” because Piper seems to have forgotten the key part of this conversation, “I can’t have sex with an escort.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” The million and a half legitimate reasons not to go through with it all fly through her mind, getting lost somewhere on the way to her mouth. “Because!”

Piper just smiles at her. “I’ll get you a really nice one, promise. Think of it as a late birthday present.”

“It’s September.”

“Early Christmas, then.” And she grins, full of teeth. “Just trust me, okay? Let me take care of it.”

Famous last words, she thinks, popping a bit of scone in her mouth.

***

7PM, the Dorchester Hotel. Dinner first, then… whatever, later.

Annabeth can’t help but arrive early. She’d never been a punctual person before, but apparently now it’s been beaten into her with all the rest of her princess training.

Five-star hotels are still something of a novelty for her, even though she’s stayed in quite a few by now. Thankfully she’s never stayed here before; she’d be too worried someone on staff would recognize her.

She had thought that she’d show up early, psych herself up a little, get emotionally prepared, or at least have a little time to calm her racing heart before her… date… showed up.

Unfortunately, as punctual as she is, apparently, he’s beaten her to the punch.

He’s exactly where he said he’d be, wearing exactly what he said he’d be wearing; black suit, blue tie, gold watch. Her heart is beating so loudly, she’s sure he can hear it from across the room. “Um, excuse me,” she asks, a little more timid than she’d like, sidling up to the man. “Paris?”

At his name--well, she assumes it’s his name, but it’s probably a pseudonym now that she thinks about it--he lifts his head up, his lips already quirking up in a smile that she can only describe as troublemaking. “Bethany?”

Right. She used a pseudonym as well. A second pseudonym—one other than Anja. “Yeah,” she smiles in return, her shakiness easing.

“Hey!” He stands up from his seat in the lounge, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. “It’s so nice to meet you!”

“You too.” She realizes with a pang; he is so tall. He’s tall, with broad shoulders and a trim waist, startlingly green eyes and thick, curly black hair. And… “You’re American?”

“I am,” he says, unashamed. “The accent gave me away, huh? Hope you weren’t looking for something else.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” she assures him. “I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s fine!"

He grins, crookedly, and she feels her heart skip a beat. “I’ll take it. Shall we head to dinner, then?”

***

Dinner was amazing, of course. The food, the atmosphere, and the company, she fully admits—all exceptional. Paris is an amazing conversationalist, she discovers, smart and funny and attentive, even gently teasing her a little. “You’re American, too, you know,” he’d said, sipping on his glass of wine, “so you can’t give me any grief over my lack of an accent.”

“I don’t live here,” she’d retorted, pointing her fork at him, “unlike some people I could mention.”

“Where do you live?”

“Ah, well—” Covering up her hesitation by taking a bite of chicken, she’d thought quickly. “Grew up in the States, but recently I moved to, um, Sweden, to be closer to my family.”

He’d nodded. “Expat, huh?”

“Something like that.”

He’d listened to her, really listened, chimed in at appropriate moments, made surprisingly insightful comments about her job and her life, and, well, he’s kind of perfect. If he weren’t an escort, he’d make an amazing boyfriend. She tells him as much, in the elevator on the way up to his room.

“Aw, thank you!” He smiles at her, a single dimple popping out under his strong cheekbones. “That’s very kind of you to say.”

“Why do you do this, anyway?” she asks. “I mean,” oh God, that question is some kind of faux pas isn’t it, Christ what the hell happened to all her etiquette training, “you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to—”

“No, it’s okay,” he says as the elevator door opens. They’re up on a high floor, where the higher high rollers like to stay, and she follows him as he walks confidently down the hallway. “It’s not an offensive question.”

Still, she feels pretty shitty for asking. “I’m sure you get asked that all the time.”

“Most clients honestly aren’t all that interested,” he admits, shrugging a shoulder. “They need something, I can provide it. It can be a little transactional at times, but I’ve met a lot of really cool people, so it all balances out in the end.” Arriving at their door, Paris swipes his keycard, holding it open for her like some kind of butler. “After you.”

The room is enormous, even for a five-star hotel. It is a full-on suite, with a seating area and separate bedroom, a large wooden desk off to one wall, a gorgeous, floor-to-ceiling window that looks onto Hyde Park, full of lights dotted about like mini constellations. “Wow,” she breathes, “look at that view.”

“I never get tired of it,” Paris says, coming up behind her. “No matter how many times I come here.”

“You come here a lot?” she asks. She almost follows it up with a question on how he can afford it, but she ruthlessly quashes that down.

“My clients like it,” is all he says.

“I’m not surprised, all that 1930s deco in the lobby. The façade is a little plain, though, in my opinion.”

“Oh yeah? How would you do it better, Miss Architect?” She gets the sense that he’s teasing her. It feels oddly intimate for the situation—he’s not a friend, or a boyfriend, or even a date. He’s an escort. Providing a service, as he put it. He shouldn’t be so friendly with her.

And yet. “Well, I love Neoclassical, but honestly, I’m not super into hotels.”

“What are you into, then?” Casually, he undoes his tie, sliding it off his neck. She swallows.

“Um.” Focus, girl. “Office buildings, monuments. I dunno. I just want to… I just want to build something good, you know? Something permanent. Proof that I was here, you know?”

“Something permanent, huh?” He speaks softly, a respectable distance away, but she’s drawn in anyway, by his open shirt collar and his easy demeanor and his stupid sea green eyes that remind her so much of— “That sounds really nice.”

Then he steps up to her. His hand, warm and big, draws up her arm, fingers tracing lightly over her skin, and she shivers. He cups her neck, fingering the hair at the base of her scalp, and leans in, his lips parted. He smells like salt, like the perfume of the wine they shared, like the sea on a sunny morning.

“Wait,” she murmurs against his lips.

Immediately, he pulls back. “Is something wrong?” he asks, concerned.

“No, no, it’s fine, I just—” She swallows, her heart racing. “I just need a minute.”

“Of course.” He takes a step back, and she has to stop herself from pulling him in further. “Do you need anything? Water, champagne? They always stock the minifridge.”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m fine. It’s just, I’ve never… done this before.”

“What, hire an escort?” He grins, rakish. “I can tell.”

“Not that—I mean, yes, that too, but I mean—I’ve never—” She huffs, annoyed she has to have this conversation twice in one week. “I’ve never had sex before, okay?”

That shocks him a little. His eyes widen, taken aback. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Chuckling weakly, she rubs a hand on her arm, looking out the window. “So… yeah.”

“So, don’t take this the wrong way,” says Paris, “but, there are easier ways to get laid than by using a professional. I mean, I’m grateful for the business and all, but, well, look at you.” He looks her up and down, somehow simultaneously respectful and entirely indecent. “I don’t think you’d have a problem getting a date.”

“It’s… complicated.” Understatement of the fucking millennium. “My friend thought this would be the easiest way to… go about it.”

Paris laughs. “You don’t agree.”

“I don’t… not agree,” she says. “I’m just. A little nervous.”

He nods. “I’d bet.” Chewing his lip, he looks towards the bedroom suite, and Annabeth tries not to think about how those teeth would feel on her mouth instead. “How about this; why don’t you take a shower? It might help calm you down a bit.”

“Won’t you be lonely?” she quips, a moment of reckless bravery.

“I have a few calls I can make,” says Paris, eyes dancing. “Go on. Make yourself comfortable.”

***

She has to hand it to the five-star hotels; the shower is always outstanding. Amazing pressure, amazing heat, it definitely rivals the plumbing in some of the castles she’s stayed at. And the robes, always so soft and warm, though a little on the small side. This one just barely covers her ass, which she figures isn’t a huge problem for tonight, but still.

When she steps out of the bathroom, she can hear Paris talking. “Uh huh,” he says. “Yeah. No, it’s going great. Professor Kleio said she’d write me a recommendation. She was really impressed with the last build. Yeah.” She runs her fingers through her wet hair, pushing it back from her face. “No, the conference is next month. Probably. Pretty sure I can get Tyson to help, but I don’t think it’ll get that far before the end of the week. Uh huh.”

Paris had taken off his suit jacket at some point; she can see it hung up in the closet on a hanger, perfectly pressed. He’s still in his shirt, but he’s unbuttoned it, the sleeves rolled up around his forearms. It is effortlessly attractive, even from the back. She coughs lightly, unwilling to startle him, and he turns, giving her another up-and-down, this one decidedly less respectful than the first.

“Hey, I gotta go, I’ll call you tomorrow. Say hi to Estelle for me. Love you.” And he hangs up.

“Your girlfriend?” she asks.

He smiles, all soft. “My mom.”

Something in her melts at his tone. “Aw,” she coos. “Is she back in America?”

“Yeah. I don’t get to see her all that often, so I try to call her every day.”

It is so unfathomably sweet, sweet and… humanizing, as weird as that sounds. He’s not just an unbelievably handsome man with a jaw cut like a diamond and a five-star rating, according to Piper, he’s a person with a whole other life that she knows nothing about. It’s liberating, in its own way. She can make mistakes with him, and he’ll understand. He won’t judge her, not against his other clients, or even his other partners.

Swallowing, she slides the robe off her shoulders, slowly, achingly. Maybe he turned the heat up while she wasn’t looking, because all of a sudden, she feels hot all over, from her cheeks to her chest and down, and down. Maybe it’s all coming from him, from the heat of his gaze on her, his pink tongue coming out to wet his lips. She wants it, wants them, wants him, on her and in her and all over her.

But he stays on his side of the room, waiting for her to take the plunge.

She steps up to him, close but not touching, breathing in the heady, strong scent of him, raking her eyes up his body for a change. Even through his shirt, she can tell he’s fit, the exposed skin of his arms tanned a deep brown, thick, coarse, dark hair running up to his wrists. On his right arm, there is a black trident long and straight, crossed by an old, white scar. “What happened here?” she asks, lifting her hand to trace it, leaving visible goosebumps in its wake.

“Sailing accident,” he whispers. “Long time ago.”

There’d been a kid at her summer camp for troubled teens who’d gotten thrown off his boat and hurt like that, once. She remembered so vividly, because she’d been on infirmary duty that day, and all she could think about while wrapping up his arm was how fucking stupid he'd been, how he could have gotten himself really hurt, how badly she’d wanted to kiss him.

She'd moved across the country before she'd gotten the chance, though, and no one else had ever made her feel like that since. Until now. “Got any other ink to show me?”

But instead of answering, he leans down, and he kisses her.

She’s been kissed before. She’s never had sex, but she’s done some kissing in her life. It’s usually pretty awkward, in her experience, too much of one thing and never enough of another.

Nope, not Paris. Of course, he’s also a phenomenal kisser. Why she expected anything else, she’s not sure.

His hands come up to circle her neck again, his thumbs running against her cheekbones. He kisses her, pouring passion and intent into her, his mouth soft and sweet against hers. And then he slips her some tongue, and it’s a whole different ballgame.

“Take off your shirt,” she whispers into his mouth.

He does, effortlessly, without detaching himself from her. It’s a smooth, easy motion, and she is delighted to discover that he is as firm as she suspected he was, the muscles jumping under her touch.

Almost without her realizing it, he backs her up towards the bed, her knees hitting the edge of the mattress. He lays her out against the sheets, his bare chest hot against hers. “Before we go any further,” he says, and she can feel the vibrations of his voice all throughout her body, “tell me—have you ever made yourself come?”

She flushes at his words, the dirty talk which should sound stupid but instead comes out all sultry and sexy. “Yes,” she says, breath hitching as he nips at her neck. “Yes, I have.”

“Good.” He smiles into the skin of her collarbone, traveling down, and down, and down. “I want you to show me how.”

“Isn’t that,” she pants, “your job?”

“Hmm, you’re right.” He pushes her thighs apart with his shoulders, bright eyes staring up at her as he licks his lips. “Let me get to work, then.”

Breathing heavily, she curls her fingers into the ten thousand count sheets, eyes fixed on the ceiling pattern. She can’t look at the dark head between her legs, can only breathe in through her nose as he kisses up the skin of her thigh, higher and higher and higher until…

Jesus fucking lord almighty.

***

“I found the perfect guy for you.”

“Piper, come on.” Theses brunch dates of theirs were starting to get a little repetitive. “I let you set me up with a professional, but I draw the line at a blind date.”

“Have I steered you wrong yet, your highness?” Piper asks, knowing grin firmly on her face.

Annabeth blushes. So what if that night with Paris was the most incredible experience she’d ever had? Doesn’t mean she’s ready for a full-on relationship, yet. “No,” she says, rubbing her temples.

“Great!” Then she does something that Annabeth doesn’t expect—she starts packing up. “So he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” she smiles, so bright it borders on painful, her nose scrunching up. “I invited him to brunch. But he’s really, really nice, I promise.”

“Does he know about—”

“No, he doesn’t, but if you wanted to spill, he’s a fantastic secret keeper.”

“How do you even know—”

Piper glances over Annabeth’s shoulder, eyes lighting up, waving a hand. “Friend of a friend of Jason, he’s a grad student at Cambridge, he’s doing his dissertation on naval history, so you know the king will love him.”

“Piper!” Annabeth half-calls, half-hisses at her friend as she stands up “Piper, you can’t just—”

“Hey,” says a voice behind her. A very familiar voice. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was joining us.” She turns around. Slowly. “Nice to meet you, I’m… Percy…” he trails off, sea green eyes widening behind a pair of thick, black glasses, beneath dark, curly hair. On his arm, a black trident stood out against his skin, straight and proud.

“Percy, meet Annabeth,” Piper says. “Annabeth, meet Percy. Okay, have fun you two!”

And she waltzes out of there, completely unaware of the absolute shitstorm she left in her wake.

[found--family]

‘Supernatural’ season 15, episode 15 screener secrets: We’re ‘Highway to Heaven’-ing this bitch

[everything is from this Hypable article] 

This week on Supernatural, Amara returns and are angels solving people crimes now? Hypable previewed Supernatural season 15, episode 15 “Gimme Shelter,” so read on to find out more.

After a sweet and fun return to ease us back into the world of Supernatural last week, things are heating up pretty dramatically – I knew there wouldn’t be much more time for messing around.

“Gimme Shelter” sees Supernatural dip its feet into what the Winchesters currently believe is their big plan – eliminating Chuck by also taking down Amara, resulting in what they believe will be a cosmic-being-free balanced world. But first, they have to find her. Sam and Dean get a pretty good lead on her location, which results in a very interesting conversation between Amara and the boys – especially with her most favoritest Dean, of course.

Meanwhile, Castiel is persuaded into taking Jack to investigate a nearby case in Missouri – which all three adults suspect is probably the work of a human criminal – for the sake of humoring Jack and keeping him both busy and supervised. On the way home, they have a very interesting conversation of their own.

Spoiler Warning: This article contains generalized spoilers for Supernatural season 15 episode 15, “Gimme Shelter.” If you do not wish to be spoiled at all, do not read this article in advance of the airdate.

The official synopsis for Supernatural season 15, episode 15 reads:

MATT COHEN DIRECTS — Castiel (Misha Collins) and Jack (Alexander Calvert) work a case involving members of a local church. Meanwhile, Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) go off in search of Amara (guest star Emily Swallow). Matt Cohen directed the episode written by Davy Perez (#1515). Original airdate 10/15/2020.

If you want to know what to expect from this week’s Supernatural, here’s 10 teasers plus 15 single word clues from our advance viewing of Supernatural season 15, episode 15 “Gimme Shelter.”

‘Supernatural’ season 15, [10] episode 15 screener secrets 

1️⃣ During the filming of this episode (27 January – 5 February) Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles both spent much of the week at home with their families in Austin, a detail which was made clear on their and their wives’ public social media accounts – possibly the result of scheduled time off as they’ve mentioned occasionally requesting? The result is that the episode is weighted much more towards Cas, Jack and the murder investigation they’re chasing than towards Sam and Dean, but on the flip side, the Sam and Dean arc is more crucial to the long game of the show, so what it lacks in minutes, it makes up for in impact. 

2️⃣ However, the episode still begins and ends in a grounded family group way, at home in the Bunker – one of those “we know we should be doing this together but there are Reasons we have to split up” situations. This detail, in my opinion, really speaks to the motivation of the creative team towards honoring the four leads as parts of a whole – in earlier days, this kind of episode would have been two entirely non-touching threads. This one is, if not a tapestry, at very least a braid – tied up together at both ends, and intertwined in the middle.

3️⃣ You might have seen pictures or ominous trailer footage of Castiel and Jack digging a hole at the crossroads. We all know what that means! However, don’t worry. They simply want to talk – and the demon they summon has some really interesting – and dare I say positive? – news about the state of Hell under Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Rowena. Let’s just say the demon is actually pretty friendly… and extremely bored.

4️⃣ The two main guest stars on Cas and Jack’s side of the episode are both actors who have been briefly featured on the show before, in a couple of pretty famous episodes – one from season 2 and one from season 5. I don’t think there’s meant to be any meta or Easter Egg element to this, just the usual Vancouver casting industry cycle (see the ‘Weren’t You In Another Episode‘ reference page on the SuperWiki) but one of them is one of those cute “I appeared on Supernatural as a child and now I’m here as an adult” situations, and the other, well… the original character’s very name has become the stuff of Supernatural legend, and if I were in charge of this episode I would have put the actor in a particular piece of footwear and made sure we got a shot of it, just for kicks.

5️⃣ Castiel steps into a prayer circle when the church group members are meant to give a testimony – presumably of their journey so far and their relationship with faith. That’s what Cas chooses to share, at least – in a non-specific, humanized way – and fans of the character will be moved to hear the ways he verbalizes his own growth.

6️⃣ Speaking of growth, some of Dean’s is spelled out for him in the most miraculous way by Amara. After Sam and Dean meet up with her and have a conversation about Chuck that’s ultimately a bit of a non-starter, Dean returns to ask her another, more personal question. Her response gave me legitimate chills. It’s a very weighty mic drop and the combination of the level of impact and the level of clarity (it’s entirely airtight, no room for interpretation) feels like the culmination of all the self-actualization work the show has been doing on Dean in the last four years. (I wish I could tell you Sam got a big special moment like this in the episode, but he doesn’t. Amara’s return was always going to be Dean’s thing.) Amara’s speech to Dean… it doesn’t feel isolated, like the idea of it was invented just for this episode. It feels more like concrete evidence of what the show has been trying to prove for ages. And the funny thing is, Amara is the anti-Chuck, right, and all season, we’ve learned about the version of the story Chuck thinks is good, and we’ve been told to root against that. Chuck’s version of Supernatural isn’t how the writers really feel. But I think Amara’s might be. Dean has obviously struggled to see what she tells him, all in one piece, but here it is – this was the point, laid out on the table, from the entity behind the curtain – both onscreen and off. Amara knew what she was doing, and so did the writers. This was always, always the point.

7️⃣ Even before this massive scene, Amara’s return is just great. Emily Swallow does such an incredible job with this character – she really is the anti-Chuck even without the whole writer comparison. Swallow imbues this character with such an incredible peace and stillness in comparison to Chuck’s histrionics – this was true in the way she spoke and behaved even in season 11, but this Amara also feels kindness and patience and tolerance. She radiates power, even when she’s also slightly goofy. There’s no fight, there’s no antagonism, but the boys in her presence are like little fish in a vast ocean – they quickly realise they have no real control in this conversation. The way that we leave her indicates she’ll be back and has more to say or do, and what she shared during her reunion with Sam and Dean makes me really curious about the role she’s due to play in the show’s endgame.

8️⃣ I’m not very religious but I really like the version of a church group or ‘faith-based community,’ as they say, featured in “Gimme Shelter.” Supernatural has a shaky history in terms of how the show portrays people in-universe who believe. Sometimes they’re treated like a joke, or stupid, or dangerous, or hypocrites, but occasionally civilian acts of faith are shown as great and powerful things, even in a world where we know that what they believe in isn’t strictly accurate. That concept became an even bigger question mark for me when we got the reveal that Judeo-Christian God is not only absent, but our actual villain. However, this was a really nice look at why faith can still be a framework for a good way of life – loving thy neighbor – for some people, no matter the truth about Chuck. The episode also features a callback to writer Davy Perez’ very first Supernatural episode “American Nightmare” in terms of the way that some people have weaponized faith and religion to the detriment and harm of others or even themselves, but this factor does not negate the positive point mentioned above.

9️⃣ Supernatural alum and newly minted director Matt Cohen really got the full old-school Supernatural episode experience when it comes to leaning into the spooky horror element. The murderous case-of-the week featured in this episode is heavy and lingering on the gore and even contains a little bit of a jump scare, so view responsibly.

🔟 So, um, you know that line, in this week’s teaser trailer? The line that a lot of people are freaking out about because it seems to pertain to something important that we know about Cas’ fate that Dean and Sam aren’t aware of? Yeah, it is 100% absolutely not about that at all. It is about something super important, but it’s not that. It’s also the last line of the episode, but trust me – it’s not a cliffhanger and it’s not a red herring and it’s not a twist. The information is gleaned within the episode and you’ll know exactly what Cas is telling Dean about after seeing it – narratively, that’s the reason it isn’t in the episode, because the show clearly assumes you’ll get the picture and can skip a rehash of information. But what you were probably expecting – maybe even hoping for – it’s not that. You’re gonna have to hang on for that one.

Finally, have 15 random yet significant words from this week’s episode without any context whatsoever: Gaia, Ronald, mother, pierogies, cats, philosophy, target, blind, permission, lockdown, Kool-aid, buffet, gift, trial, choice.

‘Supernatural’ airs Thursday at 8/7c on The CW

[just-random-obsessions]

Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World

Find Thor 1 here

Find Avengers 1 here

This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki

Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry

Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long

~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”

~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”

~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”

~ “Just like you”

~ *That smile!!!!*

~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”

~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”

~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*

~ “I accept your surrender”

~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*

~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”

~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)

~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*

~ *Date: hi*

~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*

~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”

~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*

~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*

~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*

~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”

~ “That’s what I said!”

~ “That’s what I did!”

~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)

~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”

~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*

~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*

~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*

~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*

~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*

~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated

~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”

~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”

~ “That doesn’t seem right”

~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”

~ *Jane ignores Darcy*

~ “Give me your shoe”

~ “Were those the car keys?”

~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*

~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)

~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*

~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*

~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”

~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”

~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*

~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”

~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”

~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”

~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)

~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*

~ “We have to do that again”

~ “Hello”

~ “What’s that?”

~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*

~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*

~ “You told your dad about me?”

~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”

~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*

~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is

~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty

~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*

~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”

~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”

~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*

~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-” nvm bitch die

~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*

~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*

~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*

~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*

~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*

~ *Selvig then using pencils*

~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”

~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”

~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*

~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”

~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*

~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”

~ “Costumes a bit much”

~ “So tight!”

~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”

~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”

~ “Honor?”

~ “Patriotism?”

~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)

~ “I thought you liked tricks”

~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP

~ “That was for New York”

~ “I like her”

~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*

~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”

~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”

~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”

~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki

~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”

~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”

~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*

~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*

~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”

~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”

~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*

~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”

~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”

~ “Now they’re following us”

~ “Now they’re firing at us”

~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”

~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”

~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*

~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*

~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”

~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*

~ “For Asgard!” YEET

~ “Nothing personal boys!”

~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”

~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”

~ “TADAAA”

~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”

~ “And these” “yeah… those”

~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”

~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”

~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”

~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”

~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”

~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”

~ “I’ll just text her”

~ “So who’s Richard?”

~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*

~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”

~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”

~ “Better get my pants”

~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”

~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”

~ “Oops”

~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*

~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*

~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*

~ *The two of them against windows*

~ *AAAHHH*

~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’

~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*

~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”

~ “Myuh Myuh!!”

~ *Thor ends up on the subway*

~ *The girl taking 50 photos*

~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*

~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”

~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*

~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*

~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops

~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds

Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.

So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.

Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.

However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.

Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long

[dahniwitchoflight]

Candy 22-23

hmm, interesting, so 5 minutes of Terezi time equals about 2 weeks of John time?

What’s the math on that, how many minutes are in a week? 10,080? Neat.

what’s that divided by 5? 2016?

so time is moving almost 2000 times faster for John than it is for Terezi?

a Day for Terezi is literally 5 and a half Years for John by that Math.

All of John’s conversations have been happening over the course of not even 2 full days for Terezi so far, and by John’s estimation that she only ever messages every year or so

that turns out to be like, every 260 minutes for Terezi?? If my math is correct? (525,600 minutes / 2016 = 260 minutes = 4.333... hours)

4 and 1/3 hours.

oh my god, Terezi and John talk literally every 4 hours and 20 minutes that’s hilarious they turned 413 into a 420 weed joke that’s amazing

I wonder if Terezi takes his convo’s seriously or just think it’s an extended prank that their both neck deep in at this point? I mean, they joke with eachother a lot and he literally messages her what seems from her point of view, literally every 4:20 (Trolls understand weed jokes because I said so and because it’s funny)

Does he ever send her pic’s of what they all look like as adults? Does she think it’s badly like, photoshopped or something like what she used to do with Dave?

Or does she really know? Either way is interesting to be honest

Wait, did Gamzee make out Jake’s/Jane’s son Tavros?? Why is John so nonchalant about that?

or is it a different Tavros???

I’m confused, or maybe not, John’s going straight into a line that says take Tavros away from his family. what the fuck is Gamzee doing.

So I guess this is what happens to all non canon timelines? They get torn to shreds by the inevitable cosmic background blender that is the giant black hole thing in Meat?

Oh god Jane made a crockership, yeah we’re in the nosedive of all of Jane’s unsavoury tendencies made manifest

we don’t need a tiara here, this was carefully manifested and nurtured to happen by another guy who all fell into the worst version of himself

Sad to see karkat and dave seperated too, but interesting karkat finally got fed enough enough to lead a resistance

this friend circle is really going down the shits

but then again, kind of was to be expected, i mean, it’s not like they were all actually friends, there wasn’t really much of an extended friend circle for the alpha kids. its a stretch to even say John and Jane were close friends because they didn’t really have much interaction with each other either

Jane and Jake is pretty much a lost cause, Dirk is dead and also encouraging her downfall, and Roxy is totally accepting of everything around her for better or worse, and Calliope and Jane were never close not to mention Calliope seems content to just follow Roxy everywhere

there’s literally no one actually close enough to Jane to have an actual “i care about you’re my friend” conversation with that would actually feel genuine, so it’s kind of inevitable she’d end up like this in this sort of situation with no one to help her steer her course

John’s getting desperate to feel some sense of reality again, that picture of Terezi is almost like an anchor in the storm

he’s only attached to his reality because of his personal investment into it, like he’s too deep in it now to ever escape, not because he really truly cares and is happy I think but because he’s put so much effort into making this all work

Also damn, he’s really gonna kidnap Tavros, but i mean like, I don’t blame him if apparently his sort of father clown figure has been making out with him as part of a religious cult nonsense i hope im interpreting that wrong but he literally says PBandJ again and says Tavros, so like, who else could he mean

Fake redemption nonsense finally going down the toilet where it belongs

but damn, John’s gonna start a war I can see it now, this is gonna pop Jane’s cork and for all we know she could easily use it as an excuse to attack trolls by blaming the kidnapping on them

You know what is so interesting about this though?

Jane was raised by the condesce, and feared alternian society like it was inherent to trollkind

but here she is displaying that same tyranny in the name of humanity, it does a good job of showing this bullshit isn’t inherent to any person or race

but man, it is ironic how much of a mini Condesce Jane is becoming, complete with her own Grand High Blood too, while fighting what she probably considers tyrannical trollkind

It’s cute how Harry talks in a lighter Roxier shade of blue though, unfortunately due to the name I can imagine anything except Harry Potter being their actual child, Harry Anderson as a figure means nothing to me even though I know the reference and the picture that shows up in Homestuck I get the joke

Maybe it’s because it’s also Roxy’s child and she always had a thing for wizards so

Tavros talking in a dark purple is less endearing, because it so clearly shows that despite supposedly being a product of love between Jane and Jake, Gamzee as a weird third interloper has entirely taken over this family

Gamzee being the auspistice for Jane and Jake doesn’t sound good. Weird that he’s seen as like an Uncle figure too. This family is messed up to hell.

mmm.. I don’t think Jake and Jane are in a kismesis...

*UPSETTING CHILD ABUSE CONTENT AHEAD*

I don’t like how uncomfortable Tavros seems to be with an uncle figure taking him up to his bedroom im getting all kinds of bad child abuse vibes, not from john god no but like, Tavros seems so expectant of something to happen and that’s not pairing well with what Gamzee has apparently been doing

“Tavros sighs, his facial expression unchanging. He looks resigned. To life in general, as well as whatever it is he’s expecting from this particular situation. Wait... what is he expecting from this situation, having been led away to a secluded part of the house by an adult? What has he been taught to expect?“

I don’t like this. John please kidnap the child. Even though it’s going to start a war.

No I don’t like where this is going this is getting a big gigantic NOPE for me

Oh fuck okay, so it hasn’t happened yet, big relief there

but almost, still warning sirens going off in my head because

“JOHN: TRAIN you???

TAVROS: Yes,

TAVROS: In matters of combat,,, philosophy,,, life,,, love,,,

TAVROS: I suppose to behave the way a mentor does, as he sees it,,,”

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT GAMZEE BEING A DIRK GAUGE

Is “Combat, Philosophy, Life, Love” just like symbolism for the four shitty ingredients of Lord English symbolically mixed together? Like yeah they don’t all sound bad when you put it that way but really it’s like

Combat = Physical Abuse = Caliborn

Philosophy = Religious Cult = Gamzee

Love = Obsession = Equius

Life = Dominance and Power = Dirk

Every shitty part of the LE soul combo contributes something bad to the whole

uh oh, they’ve been found out by Jade

Jade’s not exactly gonna throw him to the big bad wolf, but is she just gonna disagree with his actions? Or is she gonna try to stop him.

or argue? argue’s good, sure, not really but sure

Everyone knows Jane’s gone to shit, but everyone’s too cowardly to stand up to her and tell her she’s wrong

oh shit, speaking of

oh, well, that didn’t go how i wanted it to

John got so close to saying something that could break through to Jane, but Karkat was right, she couldn’t get her head out of her ass long enough to listen to what was being said to her, and instead immediately jump to conclusions about what she thinks people are talking about

she probably think everyone hates her suddenly because of her political ideas and thinks its ridiculous thats everyones getting so mad at her for it, head so far up the ass she should be turning into a fourth dimensional pretzel by now

even though this could have all have been avoided if someone just had enough bravery to nip it in the bud, so instead of angry raze the ground retaliatory action she could have just been embarassed and angry in the personal and then gotten over it in a few weeks

but nope, genocidal war in the works now

oof

just big oof

gotta say though, I’m sitting practically eating gigantic mounds of popcorn at the drama (Besides the one part that was implying gamzee was sexually abusing tavros before they made it clear he wasn’t, I could do without that one honestly)

other than that though, loving the drama, feel bad for the people getting the shit end of the sticks though

[bottomtonyhoe]

Drama Kings - Chapter 2

“ Where the fuck were you ? “ Jensen is welcomed by his mom’s angry voice .

“School , apparently . “ He kicks off his Nike’s near the door , then neatly places them in his shoe bin .

“ No . Mr. Sheppard called and told me why you skipped 7th period “ She scolds , placing a hand on her hip .

Screw you , accent asshole who can’t keep his mouth shut .

“ So ? It is not like I skipped the whole day , and hey I got a nearly perfect score in Maths in the last test , so I am good “ . It was true . He knows people take him for a dumb jock who probably inherited his dad’s IQ level , but he never had a problem with the material . He just hated listening to teachers rambling about their glory days .

“ It is not your grades I’m worried about “ She snaps and Jensen snorts . He wasn’t going to have this conversation .

“ I’m going to my room “ he practically runs upstairs , ignoring all the yelling and shutting the door behind him .

God . His room is such a mess .

_________________________________________

Jared spends the rest of the evening texting Gen and Misha . They go on and on about their summer vacation and their funny memories together . Jared warms up to them quicker than he thought , although they are a little weird to be completely honest .

He tries to distract himself with homework so he won’t think about his earlier , rather embarrassing encounter with his crazily hot neighbor . It only works for a few minutes , until he hears a loud guitar coming from the window opposite to his . Led Zeppelin voice blasts across the room and he walks towards his window . the houses aren’t even that close to each other , What the fuck is wrong with this person ?

“ Hey ! Could you turn this down ? HEY ! “ Jared yells and bangs his hand against the window , finally getting the attention of whoever that disrespectful brat was .

Except , he didn’t expect this when the curtains were moved aside .

The hot neighbor from earlier turns to be the next door brat who blasted both their windows with Metallic rock . He looks at him for a moment , then turns off the music .

“ Sorry , man . I am not used to people living in this house . It won’t happen again . “ He says scratching the back of his neck .

If God wanted to purposefully punish him , he wouldn’t create such a perfect looking human being with an equally perfect , deep voice . God dammit .

“ It’s fine “ Jared says and urges himself to move , but he feels glued to the floor .

“ I saw you earlier . You go to my school , right? “ the boy asks , leaning against his window frame . Jared tries not to stutter as he answers .

“ Yeah , I’m Jared by the way “

“ Jensen , So are you a senior too ? “

As in ‘ Asshole quarterback star ‘ Jensen freaking Ackles . This is a cosmic bad joke that God is probably playing . The boy next door is practically Regina George , no matter how dramatic that sounds .

“ Y-yeah , I am “ Jared hears himself say weakly .

“ Ok then . See you tomorrow , Jared “ Jensen throws a bright , too goddamn charming smile his way .

It takes longer this time to remember how to breathe .

Jensen sits down on his bed and writes ‘ Jared ‘ down on his Facebook search . he scrolls through the list of Jareds till he finds a ‘ Jared Padalecki ‘ with a profile picture of the boy grinning , and damn , those dimples .

He knows he shouldn’t be stalking the kid on social media , but he does it anyways . After a few minutes of scrolling , he finds out that the boy used to live in LA before he moved to Chicago . He had a golden retriever dog , but he passed away , but that’s all .

Jensen did that because he is curious . He doesn’t find Jared any more interesting than any other new kid . He is just curious , that’s all .

_____________________________

“ YOUR FUCKING NEIGHBOR “ Jared had to hold his right ear , to protect it from Gen’s mental freak out . He really shouldn’t have told her .

“ That would be an awesome romantic movie , except oh , Jensen is straight “ Misha says , digging through his cheese burger ,

“ Wait , how-“

“ How did I know you liked dicks . You stare dude , not that I mind . Hot stuff “ Misha winks at the last phrase . Jared knows he is bi . he has it on his instagram bio . Who does that ?

“ He practically tried to shatter our windows with Led Zeppelin music “ Jared says , changing the topic

“ Asshole “ Misha sings .

The three of them walk to math class . He looks up to see Jensen taking a seat in front of him .

“ Hey , Jared . “ Jensen turns around , flashing him one of his charming smiles . His freckles are even more fascinating up close . Jared finds himself smiling .

“ So , You are coming to today’s game ?” Jensen asks and Jared shrugs

“ I don’t know . I’m not really into football .”

“ You don’t have to be . Just come watch . Maybe I can make you like it “ . A smirk spreads on his flawless lips and Jared gulps .

God . Is he flirting ? He is straight , right ?

“ Alright “

Then Mrs. Rhee walks in the class and Jensen turns around , a smile still plastered on his face .

God . Jared is royally fucked .

_____________________

Later on , Jared sits on the first bench next to Gen , who starts telling him the names of football players .

“ And this is Tyler Lockwood . A homophobic son of a whore who happens to be your neighbor’s brother in crime . Another reason why I hate the football team , and why Misha had gone home by now . “

Wow . So he wasn’t flirting at all .

“ A bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch “ Jared didn’t know why ( or who ) he was defending .

“ Don’t tell me you got the hots for Ackles “ She whispers , as if it was highly confidential .

“ God Gen . No , I am not dumb enough to like a straight guy “

Or is he ?

“ You’d better not be , Padalecki “ then Gen looks straight ahead .

He doesn’t understand why they don’t like him that much . He was pretty nice to Jared and apart from arrogance and loud music , he is bearable .

But again , he only spoke to him for 2 minutes .

“ Here he comes “

________________________

Apparantly , Jared likes football .

No , He likes how Jensen plays football . They won the game , thanks to him . Jensen takes off his helmet , enjoying the glory of being the star of the match . His name is being chanted , people are praising him and the coach pats his shoulder roughly , with a proud smile on his face .

Jensen looks up at him and their eyes lock , then suddenly , he doesn’t hear all those cheers . He can only see Jensen’s beautiful smile , just for him , and his forest green eyes . He returns the smile with a grin and mouths “ great job “ which seems to widen Jensen’s smile and earn him a wink .

Wait , did he just wink at him ? Wow .

“ Did he just ? “ Gen asks , confusion dancing around her face .

Jared takes a deep breathe , then shrugs

______________________

“ You nailed it “ Jensen hears Tyler praise before he feels his bone crushing embrace . God , they both stink .

“ I know , right ? “ Jensen smiles and Ty punches his arm , both undressing .

See ? Jensen doesn’t find guys hot , doesn’t stare . Why the fuck is Jared so different ? or so beautiful ?

“ Did you see Osric today ? “ Ty asks , getting in the shower and closing the door behind him . Jensen does the same and takes off the rest of his clothes , letting the hot water run down his body .

“ Why ? didn’t do your homework ?”

“ Damn straight . He said he’d do it , but I can’t find him anywhere and Mr, Physics bullshit gave me a load of crap “

Jensen chuckles . typical asshole .

“ So what will you do when we find him ? “ Jensen quickly puts on his black V-neck T-shirt , boxers and black jeans .

“ We ? thought you told me to do my homework myself , Ackles .” Ty says getting out of the shower , fully dressed .

“ I’m feeling generous today . And hey , the kid went back on his word . He has it coming “ Jensen smirks . the truth is , he has nothing to do for the rest of the day and also , he wants to forget all about the Padalecki boy . He won’t act all jerk towards Osric . In fact , it is much better if he is there to hold Ty back . His friend was 10 times the asshole he was .

“ He is probably in the library .Physics advanced class has this new project , so he is probably researching “ he says packing my gym bag .

“ How the fuck do you know ? “ Ty frowns , folding his shoulders

“ Because I passed its test and they added me to their telegram group “ Jensen mumbles , hearing him gasp .

“ You what ? “

“ Dude , it was an IQ test . I didn’t even study much for it and if it makes you feel better , I haven’t attended a single one “ Jensen snaps , not believing Ty became that much of an asshole that he had to explain himself to him . He just chuckles .

“ Man , I should make you do my homework “ He grins .

“ Bite me “ and he snorts .

___________

“ Thermodynamics are ten times easier than this Shakespeare novel , I swear “ Osric says smiling and Jared chuckles .

Jared met the kid in the library , helping him search for Henry’s gas law reference . And the conversation just kept flowing , mostly about English and Physics . Exchanging information and that kind of shit .

They hear footsteps and they both turn to the source . Jensen Ackles and Tyler Lockwood stand near the entrance and he locks eyes with Jensen , but Tyler moves to their table and grabs Osric by his collar , making him stand up .

“ So , you still think it is a good idea not to do my homework ? “ Tyler hisses in his face and Jared’s eyes widen . So that’s why Misha and Gen hate these two . God . He thought Jensen wasn’t that low .

“ Hey ! Leave him alone “ Jared says stepping closer to Lockwood , who gives him a rather amused expression .

“ Look what we got here “ Tyler says and lets go of Osric , turning his full attention to Jared .

Jared wasn’t at all defenseless . He worked out , he wasn’t as built as Tyler but still tall enough . He knew how to fight , he just hated it .

“ Hey hey ! Back the fuck off “ Jensen’s voice rings across the library and he stands in front of Tyler .

“ Your problem is with Osric. Leave the kid alone “ Jensen says getting in his face . If Jared was in Tyler’s shoes , he would be scared shitless right now .

“ You’re scared of that pussy or what ? “ Tyler asks , clearly irritated .

“ You call him that one more time and you will face me . He is with me “ Jensen snaps .

He shouldn’t stand like a girl , feeling all warm while watching a guy defend his honor , but he does . He feels protected , almost enough to make him forget what kind of douchebag was protecting his ass , or making him blush .

“ Whatever , man “ Tyler pushes Jensen away and storms out of the library .

“ Hey . Are you ok kid ? “ He asks Osric and Jared narrows his eyes .

“ Now you’re all concerned ? “ Jared asks , not helping the small stutter in his words .

“ Look , I didn’t know he was your friend “ Jensen looks at his eyes . and goddamn it is not the time for Jared to stare right now .

“ And it would be ok if he wasn’t ? “He folds his arms . Jensen opens his mouth to say something and then he closes it again . His hands close into fists . Jared can’t help but notice the veins in his arms . Not fucking now .

“ You know what ? If I didn’t step in , your bacon would be toast . so how about a little credit ? “ He snaps and Jared can’t help but flinch . He looks at Jared for a moment then he storms out of the library .

It really isn’t the time to think about how hot Jensen looked while angry . and why the fuck is Jared blushing right now ?

———————

Next update is next week ♥️

Chapter-1

Masterlist

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x10 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.

Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9

14x10 Nihilism 

-I did not want to see Jack like that again thanks

Zeta: true

- And there was a need for some wings there honestly .

[ comes back crawling]

HERE

Zeta:  the bar sceeeene

-.....THAT’S A DAMN SQUIRREL WITH A AVIATOR CAP ON ( also I re wrote squirrel four times before getting it right) 

- MOOSE!!! 

-......The Moose has a tag with “FAMILY BUSINESS” written on it----lol Jensen

Zeta: What’s her name

- PAMELAAAAAAAA . Damn woman I went a bit Bi there

Zeta: OH YES.

- [Music: and I’m searching for a rainbow] .....WOW

-[on the counter] Daphne loves Fred.

 my monkey dirty brain: Daddy loves tips. 

-hot. want that.

Zeta: the tequila or the bartender?

Bitch please . both.

- D: “ What are we, savages?”

Zeta: Oh the lips

-Cosmic Cowboy. *chokes*

-FB

-why is it always a ghoul case?

-Lol but who’s the drunk guy tho

Zeta: Bitch, look at her biceps

- some Bi slippage there too I see. FOCUS

Zeta: also indeed. Who is he?

-D:”I’ve never had anything this nice”

Also....I would be like Dean if I had a bar. One for the costumer and one for me! woohoo .

- D: “How come you always have a boyfriend?”

  P: “How come you always want what you can’t have?”

[looks into the camera like in the office]

- D: “This is my dream” 

I kinda see it tho....old grumpy Dean Winchester being the Bobby while running a bar like that. Yes....I like it.

- I knew it . I wanna see someone closed behind that “closet” *wink wink*

Zeta: Oh oh

Zeta: the slo mo.

-NICE .You are welcome for this gif where I let you enjoy the full over the count jump. Nice healthy middle age man over the fence jump ( nevermind this is an italian oil ad ).

-The blood. So cute

Zeta: I’m famous

- mmm

Zeta: shit

-Hello M boi, I missed you fam

Zeta: Changed clothes

- OMFG are you saying that the Archangel Michael macVanity von DramaQueen really just angel mojo changed into his Peaky Blinder wanna be in front of them?

He’s so flamboyant , I love him .

Zeta: The close up

- M making three men kneel with so much as lift his hands.  WHAT A MOOD. WHERE CAN I GET THAT? I WANT 10.

- M : “ I saw everything”  Yeah no shit we kinda see that coming too

-DoN ‘T IntERrUPt mE 

Zeta: Don’t interrupt me

-I’m-

I’m so bothered right now. Dom Michael for the win

-OH WOW

- Sam just “assbutted” Michael lol.

Castiel : Sam....did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?

Sam: uh ....No?

- HE ANGRY

- Dean’s not home right now...

Zeta: Please leave a message

*giggling* I love him

Zeta: His voice GOD DAMN

-yes

- Castiel hair tho.

Zeta: Do you? Cocky much

-but needs to play it cool. Can’t risk to mess up the pomaded hair.

- S:” We the angel cuffs on , Michael is under control”

 M: “Keep telling yourself that “  ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

I *clap* LOVE *clap* HIM *clap*

- S: “Dump him in the trunk of the Impala” ... DUMP HIM .ahahahahaah

-Garth is in the trunk

Zeta: it’s a big trunk

-M: “ It’s a party!”

- J: “ It’s not like any of us can fly”

 M : “ Well one of us can”

 S: “ STFU”

- J:” Sam, are we gonna die here?” ... wow Jack...babe...stfu

-Yes OMG I forgot about the stalky reaper

Zeta: You mess up so many things

- it ain’t wrong

- [in john Mulaney’s Trump voice] we locked Death away and enslaved the reapers

Zeta: Poor Cas

- ok but WHO....death? Michael is asking himself that too.

-Yes , put him in the dungeon. HOT

Zeta: shit

-I can hear you

Zeta: Shit

-Ahahahahahaahah

Zeta: SHIT

-I’m loving this

Zeta: Bring back Crowley.

Zeta: We left Garth in the trunk looool

- that....everytime we don’t see a character for long that’s it...they are in the trunk.

Zeta: Castiel

-CASTIEL . so strange, I love him, he’s such a sarcastic asshole.

- M: “Yes, uh, put a chair against the door”

Zeta: This pretty smile as I rip you apart

-I’M SHAKING. YAS.

Zeta: Control yourself

- S: “Cass this is all we’ve got”

Zeta: Again?

- well it is a loop.

-MORE SHOTS.  (me)

Zeta: The only thing missing is “heat of the moment”

- what if the woman is his conscience trying to get him out and if he sign he’s out? ...like....testing his resolution?

-Little insulting

Zeta: you’re nothing

Zeta: Why is he so perfect in this?

- J: “Dean---is strong”

  M *disgusted face*: “ Is a gnat “ . WOW

-OH SHUT UP OOOOH

Zeta: Emotional abuse.

- M: “ he was not happy, but he didn’t care-- Cause you are not Sam, you are not Cass.” 

[ me looking smiling to the Castiel/Misha hateclub]

-M: “You are a weak helpless thing”

- Jack , babe ....get away tho 

Zeta: LISTEN TO YOUR DAD

- M: “no I’m not and I can still hear you”

Zeta: Prick

- Love that prick..... literally 

- I care so little for the others I swear

- M: “Look at you, play nursemaind for a nephilim”

-C: “You are confusing loyalty and compassion for weakness”

Zeta: Damn what am I watching?

- [looks into the camera like in the office] Sexual tension

Zeta: so done. this. Close up

- M “and now...that I’m in here, I know why” 

-CHUCK

Zeta: He churn our draft after draft

- M speaks like he’s singing and mocking you at the same time. He has this musicality in his speak and I love it

- C: “Why would he do that?”

 M: “BECAUSE HE DOESN’T CARE!”

- good lord I swear all the angels are just brats throwing temper tantrum because they have a trash dad.

- M: “But now , I just want to burn every one of his little worlds until I catch up to the Old man”

Zeta: Even god can die.

- oh ok....overachiever much

Zeta: Hurt Jack

- No no Jack babe...keep your fucking soul .

Zeta: Cool science project

- Michael’s mind: if you mess up my perfectly combed hair Cass I swear-

- M: “ I give it a solid B- .....uh oooh”

 me nervously: .....wtf lol 

- M: *snorts* Oh Cass, I believe in you.

So rude...so nasty 

- j: “ What should I do?”

Zeta: Pray

-Thanks Cas, that’s-......that’s great

Zeta: You are all mine

- ..... YESSIR TAKE ME

Zeta: Dean’s mind.

- ..... if it was a funny episode they could have made so many jokes about being empty lol.

- me looking around haters mind ^

Zeta: This is what you are gonna become

-omg

- THAT WAS DEAN IN HELL.

- Dean’ “NOOOO “ at Castiel death is vibrating into my bones.

- S: “Dean is strong”

- C: “Sam, we’ve been through a lot and Dean is more than strong”

- S: “Dean thrive on trauma.” 

WE’VE BEEN KNEW

Zeta: Smart moose

- Somebody has been reading some meta tumblr posts

- P: “You really know how to talk to a lady don’t you?”

 me already at Castiel’s feet : wha

- That’s us fans watching 14 seasons of supernatural ^

-Bloody Cass is 100. *licks lips*

- P: “get me a shot. With your braaaain”

Zeta: Well hello.

- C:” That was- that....DeAN ThAt WaS An ACcidENT”

Zeta: Babyyyy

- them baby faces

- C:” WE NEED YOU TO COME BACK”

- S:”POUGHKEEPSIE”

- Dean’s mind : [ old modem sounds]

-M [Slow clap it out.] : Hey Fellas

-AND THE HAT IS BACK

Zeta: I’m you

Zeta: He gripped you tight and raised you from perdition

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I’M DYING SO BAD.

-BITCH I’M DEAD AND GIGGLING I CAN’T.

-but also....but the fuck is Mary at?... like wow.

- also....everything that Micheal is saying right now is causing me actual fucking pain.

- Ok and both Sam and Cas faces? well thanks

Zeta: He’s buying time

-WOW. Slow smile, oooooH

-S: “So in here, you are all talk”

- oh that’s why he doesn’t use his powers. Serviceable .

Zeta: So happy. Fuck

Zeta: Prove it

- Um...yes hello 911? 

Michael getting his hands dirty is too hot for me.

-Fucking Tiger man.

-Come on baby 

Zeta: Jack will do something “stupid”

- Well he is his parents’ son *shrug*

Zeta: that

- D:” Then we don’t kick him out, we keep him in”

-oooooh M goes in the closet, lol

Zeta: Oh my god.

- ....Well that was stupid AHAHAHAAH 

- I can’t stop laughing .

- M [ROAR] 

  me: ....

Zeta: I’m the cage.

-HE IS THE CAGE. That doesn’t seem right tho...come on.

Zeta: So now Dean has Michael locked up

-ooooh the magic hurt him. Forgot about that. My baby.

Zeta: Concerned Dad.

- The way Cass say : “you understand?” killed me....so soft...so worried...

- The little smile! Kill me now.

Zeta: He’s not ok.

-Dean is not ok.

Zeta: [henley alert]

-He’s like....naked. ( still has another tshirt under it tho)

-Oh he’s mad 

- I’M CRYING . HE LOOKS LIKE MY CAT WHEN I REFUSE TO LET HIM OUT .

amazing.

( Sorry for the not that clear gifs but I wanted to cut and past all the bits of that because it’s amazing)

Zeta: He’s suffering so much.

-That troat

- That door is not that sturdy tho

Zeta: Oh hell no

- oh hello death . 

-Aw hell naw.

- Death :” Except one”

-AW HELL NAW

Zeta: Which one?

- UGH

Zeta: No

-NO

Zeta: NOOO so much hurt

-OH FUCK

Zeta: Actual literal pain in my chest

YA KNOW WHAT?....I DON’T LIKE THAT LOOK .

NOT ONE BIT.

.

- lol I don’t even wanna look at tumblr now

Zeta: well you know me....I have

- of course you did

post gifs comment: I didn’t do my crack gifs for now, but they will be done in a separate post.

.

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie   @mariekoukie6661   @dragontamerm    @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat   @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc

[dutifully-secret-bouquets-stuff]

A little Kastle I want to work on....

       “I gotta walk out of here, Karen. And you can’t do it with me.”

        His words play over and over in my head, a constant reminder that he had chosen a other war. Frank had chosen another life that I could not be a part of. He didn’t want me. And no matter how hard I try to pretend that he did it to keep me safe, the ache in my chest is a reminder me that it was not the case.

        His pleading eyes haunt me, and every time I blink I can see his face. Bruises and cuts, scars from a fight with Russo. His eyes red rimmed and swollen, begging me to understand his choice, and of course I did. I knew what Frank had to do, and why he was doing it. He could not live without a fight, no matter how much I wanted it be different. No matter how many times I begged for an “after” his choice would always be the same. But even knowing this, I had searched in his warm eyes for a maybe, a fleeting hope, that maybe after this was over we could figure it out together. Searching for an admission, that,yes, he wanted an after that included me. But all I could see was pain, and a lingering longing. Longing for peace, redemption, for his family. Frank’s eyes were those of a broken man. A man with nothing to lose. Because really, what more could he lose? His whole family was gone, and his best friend had betrayed him.

        So I walked away, made sure that Frank knew that I would never stand in his way. With my heart breaking and a lump in my throat, I stepped aside. No matter how much it broke my heart, I would respect his choice, even if in the process, my whole life came tumbling down.

      Even as my heart cried out to him, my breath came a little quicker, and tears rimmed my eyes, I would do anything to help and protect the Punisher no matter how much I was hurting. So I left my shoes behind, and the hope that Frank would ever want a normal life.

      But even still, I remember the elevator shaft, the way his blodied body felt against my forhead. Like time stood still to grant us one moment of peace, one moment together. So the more his last words repeated in my head, the more I try to convince myself that the longing in his eyes was not for me. That my touch had no effect in him. That if we would have gotten more time...maybe…

        I have to convinve myself that Frank Castle feels nothing because I cannot keep tearing myself apart wishing for a future that will never be a possibility. I have to believe that Frank sees me only as Karen Page, paralegal, journalist, and nothing else. Maybe that way I can cope with the rejection. Maybe that way the sting will fade a little quicker. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

       I walk away from the chaos, I walk, and walk until the hospial alarms are only a faint echo in the distance. I turn to look at the police cars and ambulances that rush to the place I was escaping, and with one last glance, I mumble, “Goodbye, Frank.” Quickly turn and pray that Frank has made it out alive. That Madani’s plan worked, that the police uniform was enough. I hope, and wish that Frank, and the girl, Amy, are safe.

        Involuntarily I shiver, and I run a hand up and down my… Ow! I gasp as soon as my had made contact with my right elbow. The fire extinguisher, I remebered. And as I take a peek at my hand I see the blood, and internally curse. Shit. Crimson bubbles from the gash on my hand. Blood pools in my palm. I gingerly poke at the cut and wince. It is a deep wound, I might need stiches, I laugh. Oh the irony, I think, leaving a hospial, only to need it a few minutes later. If this incident did not completely sum up my life, I would have laughed. But life has a funny way of making me realize that my life is a mess. That everything I touch, not matter my intentions, always blows up in my face, sooner or later.

        I look at my hand covered in blood, and I follow the drops that are running down, and landing on the ground with a plop.

        I tilt my had, and all the accumulated liquid rushes to the floor. As the blood continues its decent, my feet become warm and sticky.

        “Mom, look! That lady has blood all over. Is she okay?!” a shrill voice calls out.

        “Kevin,” the mom, I guess, calls out. “Get away from her.”

         Kevin’s name snaps me out of my daze. I look around, and a crowd has gathered around to spectate the freak show that Karen Page has become.

         “Sorry,” my right hand goes up in an attemp of apology.

             “You are still bleeding, miss.”

            Yep, that I am. Still bleeding. So I do the first thing I can think of. I untuck my blouse, and press the silky fabric against my injured hand. I hiss at the contact, and within seconds my hem is coated with blood. Turning away from the crowd I frantically search for my car.

          Jesus Karen, get yourself together, I scold myself. Where did I park? Oh yes, I remember. So I run to my car, and as I get closer, I fumble inside my purse for the keys. I fish them out with my right had, and jump inside.

         Once inside, I search for a bandage, anything. And of course, I find nothing. So I do the only rational thing, I rip the bottom of my shirt. The silk comes undone in a second, and as best as I can, I wrap my pounding hand. Blood drowns the white.

         With my hand wrapped and delt with, I lean towards the passenger seat and find my running shoes. I dust my feet, and jam those babies in. At least I got a good use out of them.

        I feel much better. Karen Page, full of blood, and with no socks, how is that for a cosmic joke.

         As I laugh at how much the universe hates me, my phone rings.

          Frank I immediately think. And without looking at the caller ID, I answer. “Hello?”

          I expect to hear the gravel voice that is Frank, I am momentarily taken aback when the one who answers is Matt.

       “Karen, hi. Where are you?”

       “Hey Matt,” I sigh.

       “Karen, are you okay? Where are you?” Fear fills his voice.

       “Yeah, I’m fine,” I try to sound reassuring.

       His tone shifts slightly once he hears that I am okay. “Well you missed lunch with me and Foggy, and you were not answering your messages” - “or mine,” Foggy chimed. - “then we saw the news about the hospital and…”

        I cut him off, “Matt, I am fine, I just forgot, and my phone was on silent,” I lie, “but I will be there in a few minutes. Don’t worry.”

        “You forgot, why? Is there someth….”

        “See you later,” I say before hanging up.

          I take a deep breath to calm down my serves, and without a second thought start the engine. I drive for what it seems to be hours, with Frank still in my head. The more distance between us the more my chest hurts. The more I wish he were here. I take a other left, and I am greeted with Nelson, Murdock, & Page painted in white letters on the glass door of our new offices.

         It is not big change, but it is an upgrade from our old offices. Looking at the new letters, I momntarily remember how I got here. I see myself with Matt and Foggy being payed witn chickens, and how then my investigating skills with Frank’s case, one way or another everything leads back to Frank, earned me a spot in The Bulletin, and how that we to shit when I failed Ben. And now here I am again, right back where I started.

         Without another thought about my shitty life, I climb out of my car, carefully as to not touch my hand, and head for the door. The smell of drying paint assaults my nostrils. God, we really need some airfreshners, I think.     

         “Hi Ms. Page, good to see … Ms. Page, are you okay?” Samantha, our part time office manager, questions.

          “Yeah, great. I’ll be in Matt’s office.”

           “But, Ms. Page…” Sam hesitates.

          I ignore the worry in her voice, and follow the smell of food. Once infront of Matt’s office, I lift my chin, and open the door. Inside are Matt and Foggy, enjoying Chinese take out. And man, it smells delicious.

         “Damn, that smells fantastic. I hope there’s some for me.” At the sound of my voice two heads turn to me. They take in my state, and Foggy’s eyes widen.

        “What?” I say.

The first to speak is Matt.

        “Karen, oh Karen.”

        “What Matt?” I counter.

         “Well for starters you smell of blood, and from what I didn’t hear, you aren’t wearing your heels. In fact you are wearing sneakers with no socks. Does that sound about right, Foggy?” Matt turns to Foggy, expecting a response.

         “How did you realize that I wasn’t wearing… Right, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen,” I chuckle.

        Foggy cannot say anything, he is frozen in place. A look of utter horror plastered on his face. Eyes wide, mouth slightly open, and his eyebrows up to his forhead. It was quite a sight, except for the fact that it was me he was looking at.

[margarittet]

Sam “Men of Words” Winchester supporting his brother Dean “I struggle with words” Winchester.

This is a theme this season. Dean (and Sam, Cas) vs communication. (Actually, it started last season.)

Dean constantly confuses “we” with “I”, mixes “need” with “want” and “love”, gets the words wrong (it’s pronounced ca-pi-chu-lum, Dean!), and is in pain even thinking about books (“aka the written word”), but he has no problems analyzing facts and reports, and pictures, and data, and numbers and everything else. 

Dean uses post it notes (aka a tool of communication, albeit simple communication), but turns them into a joke, puts them where Sam can’t read them, and in the end dismisses them for the sake of yet another mission at hand. Dean uses funny words like dum dum, or jinkies, or “whack”, but he has problems pronouncing French or Latin (aka “serious words”). In the meantime Sam and Cas (who speaks every language possible and “doesn’t get the words wrong”) are on the other side, waiting for Dean to catch up - to start using his words correctly and without struggle. Cas is pissy because he asks questions, but gets bullshit answers. Sam is supportive, but he feels there is so much Dean is not sharing or struggles to share (”I don’t know what you are!”). Dean is in pain because he can’t get the words right. He is definitely not a part of a “speakeasy”, as Sandy put it. In the beginning of the episode he is pretty overwhelmed by the need to find the right words (in the books), and that’s why he hates them so much at the moment.

So many methaphors for communication problems in this episode (13x17):

- previously mentioned post-its that Sam cannot read unless he REALLY tries (and somehow he doesn’t figure out that removing a layer of clothing would actually help the communication here - smart, since the fifteen layers of flannel have always been a symbol for hiding oneself);

- Sandy is both gagged and not gagged in the cold open (she is gagged in every second frame), so she either can’t speak at all or screams in fear;

- Dean is practically overwhelmed by the amount of books around him (they are EVERYWHERE, in the war room, in the kitchen, in the archives, in the corridors, in the other bunker’s office...) in the beginning, before he finds a case (aka Sandy chained to the alter) that removes the pressure to work with words for now - and the books magically disappear (they are even gone from the war room when they come back to the bunker while in the beginning Sam sleeps there surrounded by them);

- when the boys explain the future to Sandy, Dean shows her his car (aka his mean of transportation, of moving, of acting), while Sam shows her his phone - his way of communicating with the world;

- the other MoLs attack and kidnap first, ask questions later (literally), which is such a sign for bad communication skills. They are hooded and silent the whole first time the boys meet them! If only they started by talking to one of the guys, for example on his way to the bathroom - since once they kidnap Sam all they do is TALK TO HIM, not hurt him - the whole case could go so much smoother and fewer people would die;

- the older waitress talks to herself, and in the end compliments Marco for being such a great conversationalist (”You always make me laugh!”), even though he doesn’t say a word;

- the younger waitress, Amy, is obviously happy with the attention given her by the young boy, Buck, but she still doesn’t give him a clear “yes” or “no” - until later in the episode when she does indeed say yes, and agrees to go out with him (but he dies to protect her and she is left behind, alone)(what a tragic love story!)(like a Hallmark movie!)(foreshadowing? what foreshadowing?!)(smh);

- there is not-so-subtle-storytelling, and there is Dean Winchester chained to an undergound altar to be sacrificed to become the male-half of a (het) romantic couple, and when he tries to protest his voice is literally taken away, until he liberates himself, kills the monster, and can speak again/breathe again. Yeah, mr Perez. Subtle. (Almost as subtle as the story of two lovers separated by the rift, or the person being stabbed from behind, through the chest, by the bad guy/girl in front of Dean to trigger his trauma);

- speaking of being gagged/voices being taken away - Gabriel is mute the whole time he is on screen, his lips physically sewn together, and even when Sam cuts the threads, and Gabe is able to open his mouth, he is still unable to share his experience due to the years of abuse, being locked away and forced to be silent. Again, subtle;

- there is A LOT of focus being put on asking questions/getting answers. Asmodeus doesn’t get information because he doesn’t ask. Ketch asks again and again (a nice huge Cas mirror that he is in this episode) why he was called, why he is there, what does Asmodeus want from him, what is the nature of their relationship; one of the post-its on Sam’s back says “I’m stupid - ask me!”. Dean pronounces in front of Capitulum VII - “You ask questions, you get answers.” I hope soon he will give people around him the honest answers, because so far he is trying to avoid it at all cost;

- speaking of honest - everyone is surprisingly sincere in this episode, and I hope it’s a foreshadowing for the better communication from now on. People who asked questions, got answers, and that’s great. Dean is trying while still struggling, but it seems the general idea is that he is getting better, and he has Sam’s support;

- even Sandy questions WHY they are not more willing to discuss her newfound existence - why don’t they ask questions? Why are they not more surprised? Sam starts asking questions then - simple, basic questions - and he finds stuff out while Dean has no interest in talking to Sandy about her misfortune (words vs not using his words again). I would also like to point out that Sandy seems to have all the memories of her vessel - unless she made everything up which I doubt. I wonder if it will be important in the future; 

- also, when the attack on the diner (aptly named Krispy’s, with a K instead of C) happens, all the phones are dead, including the landline. All the means of communication are dead for now, and Dean has no ways to communicate with Sam, and he turns to violence - preparing Molotov’s coctails that he never actually uses. Sam on the other hand, who TALKS with the MoLs, manages to regain control over the situation, using HIS WORDS, and not force;

- Sandy dies when her mouth (and her screams) is shut again by Yokoth’s tentacle. While in her body, the god kills people by sucking their hearts out, and their souls dry with a deadly tentacle shooting out of her mouth (nice visual there!).

Miscommunication has been Davy Perez’ pet theme since 12x12 when the whole thing started - Cas using his words, and Dean staying silent. We are over a year later, and Dean got better, but these words still need to come out. In 12x15 Davy made sure to show us that not using your words gets people killed (and for sure it did get Cas killed in the finale of s12). BTW, 13x12, 13x14 and 13x17  have a lot in common, and it’s really interesting to do a little compare and contrast with these three episodes - Yokoth, Glythur and Perez together again, maybe I will (ten)tackle it some other time. They are showing us that asking questions is the way to go because (eventually) you will get your answer. We have seen how since 13x06 Cas has wanted to know why he was brought back, but the answers he got were misleading at best - so he got to the wrong conclusions, and the whole merry-go-round of Cas feeling not loved and leaving started again. BECAUSE DEAN PAL-ZONED AND NEED-ZONED HIM AGAIN DUE TO HIS INTERNALIZED COMMUNICATION ISSUES. The season needs to end with Dean vocalizing how he feels - he has been making such a huge progress that I can’t see it go any other way. However, I fully expect that once he does say out loud what has been sitting inside him for years (to Cas and to Sam as well), the universe will go “oh no you didn’t!”, and will interfere with the force of a raging cosmic entity (or a raging archangel). And we will have new issues on the table. Tragic. You know - like a Hallmark movie.

[corystssides]

Roommates, Part 6

Words: 2885

Summary: “I thought you guys were trying to like each other now?”

“We are trying, it’s just...things don’t change overnight, you know?”

Warnings: Swearing, arguments, family troubles, OCs, mildly inappropriate jokes, I think that’s it but lmk as usual.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Logan walked into Astronomy on Wednesday already tired. He wouldn’t have thought that 8 am classes would be so exhausting, especially since his high school had always started at seven, but with calculus as the very first class of the day, it was miserable. And he still had chemistry to go. And, since he wasn’t seeing a sudden increase in his bank account that would cover the amount of his tuition this month, probably a call to his family later today as well.

“Gurl, you wouldn’t even believe--Logan, what’s up? You look like hell.”

“Good morning, Remanuel,” Logan said. He was surprised his lab partner was already here. Usually the guy showed up 30 seconds before class started.

“Listen, dude, I’m gonna have to get you to start calling me Remy, kay? I tried the full name gig for a few weeks, but I have to say, I’m not digging it.”

“Certainly, Remy,” Logan said, dropping his backpack and pulling out his notebook.

“Anyway, Char, I was at lab yesterday with Logan and we’re trying to position the scope but it’s being old and stupid, so James the TA came over to help, and afterwards we were talking about stars and shit, and he pointed at a plane, and he tried to convince me they were shooting stars! He’s like ‘oh yeah, you see those lights? Those two white ones moving together? Those are double shooting stars. Really rare. They always travel together at that same distance.’”

“You looked like you believed him for a second there,” Logan said, grinning.

“I almost did, for a second! I was like, ‘no, surely James is not trying to pull something that obvious over on me!’ But he was, and it was really funny after about two seconds of total confusion.”

“So what did you observe?” Charlotte, one of Logan’s other lab partners asked.

“We observed some cluster thing, y’know, one of the letter-number combination things. And we also observed Vega. That’s all we got though, because the lab got mobbed by a bunch of 101 students who needed moon observations, so we left.”

“Wait, what did you observe?” And there was Alex, their final lab partner.

Remy repeated what he’d just said, then added, “Logan’s got the papers. He seems less likely to lose them than me.”

“Sounds good,” Alex said. “Charlotte and I can start on the report then, since you guys did observations.”

“Do you want the papers?” Logan asked him, pulling the sheets out of his backpack.

“Sure. I’ll scan them and make a group folder on Google for them, sound good? That way we can all access them, and if we lose them we can just print another.”

“That is a genius idea, Alex,” Remy said. “Oh, and, off-topic, but do you pals wanna hang out on Friday? I’m going to a little music show downtown with my partner and some other friends, super cheap, like ten bucks, it’s this local band called The Cosmic Brownies.”

“I’m working, sorry,” Alex said.

“You’re always working,” Remy said. “It’s at eight.”

Alex shrugged. “I’m working until eleven.”

“I’m going home this weekend,” Charlotte said.

“To see your lizard?” Remy asked.

“Hell yes,” Charlotte said.

“What about you, Logan? You gonna join my squad on Friday?”

“Sure,” Logan said. “Where’s it at?”

“Easier question: where do you live? I’ll just pick you up on Friday.”

“Sanders Hall.”

“Great,” Remy said, pulling out his phone. “Wear like, casual clothes, like t-shirt and jeans probably. And contacts if you have them. And earplugs.”

“Why would I need contacts and earplugs?”

“It’s gonna be loud. Don’t worry, you’ll still be able to hear the music. And you might wanna mosh, I dunno, so bring contacts if you have them so you don’t have to worry about getting your glasses knocked off.”

“Okay, class, good morning!” the professor said, walking in. And on that note, Astronomy began.

~

After Astronomy, Logan headed over to the dining hall on that side of campus. It’s full name was Home Cook’t, but everyone just called it Homes. He got in line after putting his backpack in one of the storage cubbies, and saw that Virgil was already way up in front. He glanced over the rest of the line. No sign of Patton yet, which meant that he’d probably gone back to the dorms after his 8 am instead of the library today.

Patton, Virgil, and Logan had all started eating lunch together on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays about a week ago, once they finally compared schedules and realized they all had an hour of free time from 11-12 on those days. Virgil and Logan were already on that side of campus at 11, while Patton had class at 12:20, so he came over for lunch and then went to class. Roman joined them once, but since all his MWF classes were in Stoker--on the same side of campus as Sanders--he usually didn’t feel like walking all the way across campus to Homes, and instead ate at Talon Hall with theatre friends and then did homework at the dorms for a bit before returning to Stoker.

Once Logan had gone through the food lines and gotten a hamburger, some salad, a soda, and some cookies, he scanned the dining hall for Virgil. He spotted him at one of the tables by the windows, and walked over. Virgil barely glanced up and said hello. His focus was on his phone and whatever he was furiously typing at.

“What’re you doing?” Logan asked.

“Chem quiz.”

“You haven’t done that yet?” Logan asked.

Virgil flipped him off without taking his eyes off the screen. Logan rolled his eyes but stayed quiet, letting Virgil concentrate. While he waited, he tried to plan what, exactly, he’d say to his parents when the phone call inevitably came. And what he’d say if they told him that they weren’t going to pay their agreed part of the tuition anymore. And what he’d say if they told him that he was a miserable excuse for a son and they never wanted to see him again.

Then he realized he was catastrophizing, and tried to quit that line of thinking. It was illogical to be thinking like that. No doubt Dad had just forgotten that it was Wednesday and he had to transfer the money to Logan’s account today. Nothing to worry about at all.

Virgil finished his quiz about five minutes later, less than 30 seconds before Patton showed up.

“Hey guys!” Patton said, plopping down with some pizza and french fries.

“Hey Pat,” Virgil said, slipping his phone into his pocket. Logan waved, not wanting to talk with food in his mouth.

“So Makayla just texted me, and she and Jenny aren’t going to make it,” Patton said. It’s just going to be the four of us tonight.”

“Whose dorm, then?” Logan asked.

“Depends. How clean is your guys’ dorm?” Patton asked.

“Spotless,” Virgil said. “Logan can’t stand anything less.”

“I’m not the one who was sweeping at two a.m. this morning,” Logan said.

“Yeah, but you would be the one who complained after stepping on popcorn when you got up.”

“Let’s do your guys’ dorm then,” Patton said. “Roman’s working on a project right now that’s kind of taken over the dorm, and it would be a project in itself just to clean it up.”

“Sounds good,” Virgil said. “I have Risk, so we could play that.”

“I brought Monopoly from home,” Patton said, grinning. “We can switch games then, if one gets too heated.”

Logan nodded. That would be a better idea than trying to stick to one game or calling the night off.

“My moms also sent over some tofu loaf, so as long as neither of you are allergic to soy, you guys get to experience my mother’s cooking, which, by the way, is the bomb!”

“Neither of us are allergic to soy,” Logan said. “Virgil’s lactose intolerant, though.”

“It’s not super severe, but straight-up milk will mess me up. Cheese is usually okay as long as I don’t have too much. So like, I can still eat a slice of pizza usually,” Virgil said. “How do you even know that? I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.”

“You told me in one of the first few emails we sent each other, after I asked if there were any dietary restrictions I should be aware of,” Logan said.

“I don’t remember that at all,” Virgil said, pulling out his phone to see if he really had emailed that at one point.

“It was one of the emails that had fifty or so questions in it, so it’s unlikely you would remember everything I asked,” Logan said.

“I’ll be sure to remember that, Virgil,” Patton said. “I’d feel terrible if I got you sick. On that note, though, are you allergic to anything Logan?”

“I have seasonal allergies, but I don’t have any food allergies, no.”

“I remember this email now,” Virgil muttered. “I forgot about the food question because the most memorable part of this email was me freaking out because I misinterpreted the question where you asked if I wanted the top bunk or the bottom bunk.”

Logan made a noise of amusement into his soda. Patton looked confused. “How do you misinterpret a question like that?” he asked.

“Uh, don’t worry about it, Pat,” Virgil said, as Logan actually started cracking up.

“No, I want to understand the joke! Tell me!” Patton said

“Don’t think about it as asking about bunks,” Virgil said.

“Top or bottom...not bunks? I don’t under--ooohhh,” Patton said, earning a fresh set of snickers from Logan. “Okay. I get it now.”

“Immature humor at its finest,” Virgil said drily. “Hey, what are you guys doing on Friday night?”

“I’m going on a date, why?” Patton asked.

“I’m looking for an excuse to get out of going home this weekend,” Virgil said. “Dad doesn’t work Saturday, so if I can’t go home Friday I’m set.”

“Just tell them you have too much homework,” Logan said.

“That doesn’t work on them. They just tell me to bring it with me.”

“Why don’t you want to go home?” Patton asked.

“I just want to relax on the weekend, you know? But since I’m not at home during the week, everyone in the house wants to hang out to an excessive degree and then I come back even more tired than I was.”

“Have you actually had a relaxing weekend at the dorm yet?” Logan asked.

“Shut up Logan,” Virgil said, with almost no bite to it. “What are you doing Friday?”

“Do you want me to shut up or do you want me to answer the question?”

“You know, actually I changed my mind. I think I’ll just go home instead,” Virgil said.

“I’m going to a concert with a lab partner and some of his friends,” Logan said, deciding that Virgil wanted him to answer the question instead of shut up. “It’s the, uh, Cosmic Brownies?”

Virgil gave him a look of disbelief. “Why?” he asked.

“Because I was invited?” Logan said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but Cosmic Brownies is like, the least ‘Logan Pensive’ style of music on this earth. Why would you even want to go?”

“So you’ve heard their music before? What style is it?”

“It’s shitty, tuneless, loud, punk rock kinda stuff. I had an ex who really liked it, trust me, it’s not your style of music.”

Logan shrugged. “I may not enjoy the music, but usually outings with friends are more about the friends than the outing.”

“You have friends? Wild,” Virgil said.

“I’m just as surprised that you’ve managed to have an ex,” Logan said.

“Wow,” Patton said. “You guys are mean today.”

Both Logan and Virgil paused for a moment. “You’re right, Patton, my apologies,” Logan said.

“We’re just tired, and that makes us both bitchy,” Virgil said.

“We shouldn’t let that affect our interactions though,” Logan said. “Maybe we should move to a different topic. Uhh, your date on Friday, maybe?”

Patton laughed. “That’s a very smooth transition, Logan.”

Logan scowled, feeling that he was being made fun of. “So who is this date of yours?” he asked.

“Tinder date. Hopefully not an axe murderer or something. We’ve been talking for about a week now.”

“You’re using a dating app?” Virgil asked.

“Yeah? How else would I be looking for love?”

“Join a club and pine hopelessly after someone nice looking until they notice?”

Patton laughed again. “Oh come on Virgil, this isn’t fanfiction. If you want love, you have to seek it out yourself.”

“Hm, have to agree with Patton on that,” Logan said. “It’s unreasonable to put the responsibility for noticing attraction on the other person. Best to be upfront about it.”

“Have you ever actually dated someone, Logan?” Virgil asked disbelievingly.

“Yes, I have!” Logan snapped. Then he sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m not really in a good mood for socializing. I think I’m going to go back to the dorm and take a nap or something until we have to go to chemistry.” He pushed back his chair and grabbed his tray.

“Are you going to be alright for game night?” Patton asked.

“I don’t know. We’ll see. I’ll see you later.” And with that, Logan left.

There were a few moments of silence where Virgil and Patton just ate their lunch. Finally, Patton asked, “So what’s going on with Logan?”

“He’s just bitchy,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes. “He needs like a billion hours of sleep and to be in bed by 10 pm and total darkness and no roommates trying to do their homework.”

“I thought you guys were trying to like each other now?”

“We are trying, it’s just...things don’t change overnight, you know?”

Patton frowned. “Well, I suppose so,” he said. Then, he thought of something. “Maybe you should get him one of those mask things for sleeping. That way he can have his total darkness and you can do your homework.”

“Ha!” Virgil said. “He’d probably take that as some kind of insult.”

“Maybe I’ll buy him one of those mask things for sleeping,” Patton said, grinning. “Then he’ll see it as just a gift.”

“I don’t know about that,” Virgil said. Patton was already pulling out his phone and looking up different masks. Virgil made a note of amusement. Patton was just so determined to make them get along.

“Do you think we should play Risk or Monopoly first?” Patton asked, scrolling.

“Probably Monopoly. We don’t want to end the night by ruining friendships.”

Patton laughed at that, and Virgil grinned.

~

When Roman got to the dorm, he thought Chemistry must have been cancelled, because he could hear Logan arguing, and who else would he be arguing with besides Virgil? Not wanting to miss this newest development in Roommates-not-Friends-ville, Roman quickly unlocked his door and slid into his dorm.

Logan was loud enough that Roman could hear his exact tone, but not quite loud enough to be clear. What was clear, though, is that he couldn’t hear anything from Virgil, and he doubted that Virgil would just stand pretty and let Logan yell at him. Roman really shouldn’t eavesdrop, but he was so darn curious. If it wasn’t Virgil that Logan was mad at, who could it possibly be? Logan always seemed pretty calm when it came to anyone else. Shoot, he was even pretty calm around Virgil. Roman didn’t think he’d ever heard Logan sound this angry.

He grabbed the plastic cup that was holding his pencils, shook the pencils out, and put it up to the wall to listen.

“--so was there an actual reason you called, or do you just want to complain about me?”

Muffled voice from the phone.

“Yeah, I figured. Somehow money’s always tight when it comes to the things I want to do, isn’t it? By the way, did you get that new Smith and Remington or whatever that you were talking about this weekend?”

Logan’s voice was very bitter, and very cold. The voice on the other end was outraged, but Roman still couldn’t make out what it was saying.

“I’m literally in training to be a scientist, and that’s still not enough for you! That’s what! God damn, a little support would be nice once in a while! But no, you and Mom are so miserable that you can’t see anyone else being happy or successful, and you have to ruin it for the rest of us!”

Oh shit, this was family issues. Yikes.

“Well maybe I don’t want to go to Thanksgiving either! Jesus Christ!”

Definite anger on the other side, though this time much quieter.

“Yeah yeah, I’m the family disappointment, absolutely shameful that we actually get a Pensive with thoughts of his own. Whatever. I have class. Say hi to Mom. Or don’t. I don’t care.”

There was silence for a moment, and then a quiet “Fuck.” Then it was followed by several more strings of swears that were angry and regretful all at once. Then there was some shuffling and a door shutting, which was presumably Logan getting on his not-so-merry way to class.

Something told Roman that game night was going to be a stressful event.

~

Next

[aftermathdb]

DEATH BATTLE Review: Optimus Prime vs. Gundam

Giant Robots. Y’know what?- I dig giant robots.

Anyone remember that?- god, it feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen a good giant robot battle show.

The second time that either combatants’ franchises are entering the arena. With the last time a transformer being used was back when Starscream fought against Rainbow Dash, and the last time someone that piloted a Gundam was when Zechs Merquise fought Tommy Oliver, this is bound to be a fun matchup.

During the introduction, they mention that the Transformers were originally Japanese toys, meaning that this isn’t an East vs. West battle. It’s more like… East vs. Adopted East.

Optimus Prime′s Preview.

So, Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots.

I think most people who grew up in that time period knows who this guy is. 

(Yeesh, with experience like that, Amuro is going to need a crapton of firepower to get past that).

We get a history on the Autobot Decepticon War, and how the ‘Cons are basically a bunch of people who love military dictatorships. And how they gunned down a guy named Orion Pax. And as Boomstick said, Robot Gandalf rebuilt Orion into the much more iconic Optimus Prime.

And we get to see his Vehicle Mode get a card too! After all, Optimus is in fact a

Robot in disguise.

So that.

And a nice little notecard tells us what happens to the trailer when Optimus transforms.

(The question has finally been answered!)

And for those of you wondering what’s up with that Action Master and Powermaster stuff that’s under his Transformations tab, here’s what’s up (more or less):

(Man, this got really complicated).

Regardless, they go on to explain a lot of Optimus’ feats and stats. Like his arsenal of weapons…

Oh, and the Matrix is given it’s own explanation. Unfortunately, it doesn’t get it’s own page, but what’s there to know?- It’s a piece of Robot God.

And it appears that Optimus has a sense of honor. Which could lead to a weakness, as he does not like sacrificing others.

(But desecrating their bodies?- That’s nothing).

Optimus’ feats gives him a massive edge too. Overall, it just feels like there’s a lot going for Robot Jesus.

And you know that scene in the original movie where Optimus is all “One shall stand. One shall fall.”?- That’s the end quote. And I gotta say:

That makes me want to DARE! Dare to believe we can survive! DARE! Dare to keep all my dreams alive!

………

Optimus is a badass, and that was another movie reference.

Amuro Ray′s Preview.

If they were trying to get people invested in the Gundam series, then I’d say that they did a pretty good job. After all, it’s a show that uses giant robots to fight Nazis. Who doesn’t like seeing Nazis getting their asses kicked?

But… If they were trying to simplify things, then they didn’t do that great of a job.

(This is an average of at least 4 models per medium).

But thankfully, they are only covering the OG Gundam, and any model that it could scale to.

(I think the size advantage is what prompts people to think that Gundam would win).

Regardless, Amuro Ray’s backstory is… actually quite intense. He’s a civilian who got drafted into a war?- That’s rough. Almost as rough as being a civilian who got gunned down and turned into a commander- Oh!- Another Optimus comparison.

Amuro gets his own page, and he has an… interesting set of codenames. Going over his own skills is also impressive too.

He gets a system that’s similar to the Epyon, only significantly less intense and PTSD-inducing.

The arsenal is also impressive. Especially the Beam Rifle. Like Boomstick said, it’s like a hundred tanks in the form of a single pistol. Unfortunately, like a pistol, the Beam Rifle has limited Ammo. So Amuro might want to be careful when using it.

(Here’s hoping that Amuro doesn’t have to use this feature).

And Amuro’s psychic powers are given a rundown. and given that so far we’ve seen a radioactive spiderbite, a floating head in a tube granting teenagers their abilities, and special fruit giving people powers, I have to agree that the reasons behind why Newtypes have theirs is really really dumb. Couldn’t have been cosmic radiation, I guess.

But that last part is really really funny.

I want to know who was behind this, because I want to give them props.

Amuro’s Newtype powers would certainly close any speed gap, similar to Naruto’s sage powers or Kenshiro’s Toki.

And the feats are a sight to behold. Though, when comparing it to the stuff Optimus has blown up or survived… It’s not looking good for Amuro.

Especially since the suit has no real defenses against intense heat, outside of a one-time use shield.

I have no real way of judging the end line. It doesn’t feel as impressive as Optimus’.

The Battle Itself.

Since Torrian is moving over to RoosterTeeth to do Gen:Lock, this battle is primarily being animated by Kristina and several other animators. Optimus will be voiced by Richard Barcenas, while Gundam RX-78-2′s pilot Amuro Ray will be voiced by David Matranga. Sayla Mass will be voiced by Lindsay Jones (Watch your cheese puffs, Amuro). Audio led by Chris Kokkinos and Music by Therewolf, and is called Wings of Iron.

So, the battle starts with Amuro breaking into the Ark (because the Transformers series is known for their subtlety (Optimus constantly dying and coming back to life, and the ARK?- Seriously? How about they add some more bible references while they’re at it?)), and Optimus attacks Amuro.

And partway into the fight, we find out why Optimus attacked: He mistook Amuro for a Decepticon. Makes sense. Amuro mistook Optimus for an enemy robot suit. So there’s a good reason for each of them to be fighting each other- They mistook the opponent for an enemy.

The battle starts in space, where both of them are firing at each other, and using their melee weapons against the other. With Amuro using his totally-not-a-lightsaber beam sword against Optimus, and Prime using his energy axe right back.

Amuro is constantly using his Newtype powers to keep up with Optimus, as he does claim that Optimus holds the speed advantage.

And we get this beautiful clash between the two combatants. It gives me goosebumps.

It helps that the music, Wings of Iron, give the battle a very 80s vibe. It really helps the overall fight sequence and makes it feel like a clash between icons.

Plus, Prime constantly transforming throughout the battle just reeks of fanservice. But, in the good way. It’s not often that the Transformers use their vehicle modes when combating an opponent, and it’s just really nice to see it in action.

Optimus even cuts through Amuro’s shield in the battle, and renders Amuro defenseless.

And the battle finds its way to earth (because what battle in space doesn’t find its way to earth?), and the battle rages on.

And if you’re worried about Torrian’s absence will mean no flips, then don’t worry! They have flips.

(Ahh, flips. It doesn’t feel like a 3D DEATH BATTLE without ‘em).

And after a brutal clash (And a good ol’ Optimus one liner), we get to the final clash.

Finishing blow in

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Well, Amuro… Just tell Death that Optimus sent you. Those two are basically drinking buddies, so Death should have a a beer that he’d be willing to share with you.

Verdict + Explanation.

So, Optimus held the experience advantage, obviously. But, there were many other advantages. And Optimus’s stats are just…

GodDAMN! That is just… Absurd. And they go out of their way to disprove the Refinery feat being an outlier, by referencing the cartoon, and another bot of similar power.

And as for being able to fire into space from the ground…

There’s a notecard for that too. It looks like Optimus Just had the Touch! He had the power!

YEAH!

Overall impression.

For this being a few new animators first time being the primary animator on this project, I originally felt the need to go easy when it came to the animation. Turns out, I didn’t need to. The animation is really solid, and it feels like two robots battling it out instead of just two humans with CGI robots over their bodies.

The music is really awesome, and the explanations that they give for their math feel really solid. I was prepared for Optimus to lose, and to have to make a morbid joke about it, but it actually feels like there was some awesome math behind it all.

The rundowns are fun to watch and listen to, and as a person who can’t really hate Rodimus, I have to commemorate them for not making a cheap shot at the guy (I blame Hasbro for Optimus’ death, not Hot Rod).

Solid animation, plus awesome music, add in a fun rundown, and a pinch of awesome statistics, and you get a good rating of 9.2/10.

Next Time…

This battle is a long time coming. And with the new media surrounding the two, I’d say the way the battle’s going to be portrayed will be really great.

(Ignore Optimus’ hand please).

Because it’s going to be live action!

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

Blüdhaven Bird vs. The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.