#hilarious today because its just raining

[terrorbirb]

My new job closes because of inclement weather?

[hysteria-things]

Can you do headcannons about toxic but gentle on&off!matt? 😁 (its okay if not!!) Also thank you to the anon who put this thought in my head because I am eating it up and cannot stop thinking about it 😜

ON & OFF MATT HEADCANNONS

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: there is a SFW and NSFW section!

SFW!

the two of you were never a healthy relationship. there was always something you guys would be arguing about.

he is the PETTIEST man when you guys break up for the… you lost track.

president of the sassy man apocalypse, and he always says you’re the problem. (it’s 9 times out of 10 his fault)

your friends BEG you not to go back to him, but you give them the ‘he said he was sorry!’

there was this one time where you ended things on a worse note than usual, and it hit matt hard. despite being able to drive he ran to your house in the rain later that night to apologize with tears in his eyes.

sturniolo tok is so used to it that their comments are low-key hilarious and you guys like to read them together.

user: who wants to bet they’ll be broken up by the end of the week?

user: i think they’re just doing it for fun now😒

user: what happened between yesterday and today didn’t y’all hate each other😭

rarely, there are times where you guys fight and make up for once!

NSFW!

MAKE UP SEX >>>

definitely bent you over the counter or his desk a few times amid an argument just to shut you up.

the longest you guys broke up for was two months, this being where it was “officially over.” because of that, you hooked up with another guy since you were a free woman. the same guy purposely went up to matt and bragged about how he was fucking “his girl…” later that night you were getting fucked stupid on matt’s dick while he said the filthiest things to you.

“fucking slut. you like to walk around and let random guys fuck you? huh?”

“whores like you don’t get away with things that easy, sweetheart.”

“look at that, so fucked dumb that all you can do is scream and cum on my cock. how about we show your new friend, yeah?”

even if you’re not in the wrong, he’ll have his hand wrapped around your throat like a necklace while pounding you in missionary until you say you’re sorry.

this man will have you seeing stars with your eyes rolled so far back that they might stay there. break-up sex is no joke.

“i fucking… ha-ate you.”

“do you, now?”

“matt— sh-shit— yes.”

“good.”

don’t get it twisted, he’s heavy on the aftercare. he’s not that much of an asshole.

he’ll get you anything you need, and when you guys are comfy in bed he’ll massage your thighs for hours; whispering sweet nothings to you as if he didn’t just fuck your brains out.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @raysmayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @hearrtsturns @stars4matt @freshsturns @loverrsposts @sturnlcvr @elliesturniolo1 @tpvmz @user283926392 @lalalands86 @sukiipjs @sturniologirl813 @leahrab @chrissturniolosslut @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @ivyyyyyysposts @mirxcle1 @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @catalina-island @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @pinkfarts @slut4mattsturn @thesturniolos @vickeyzloserz @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @bellasfavbisexual @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @crazychrisl0v3r @maggieflms @strtuniolo @mutualsafe @riasturns @sturniolowhore @antpile00 @ashley9282828 @stingerayyy2 @sturnsjtop @luverboychris @yapperchris @imaslutforoldermen @madisonlovesyouu @poetatorturadaa @chr1sgirl4life @hiimolivia @jo-777 @sturnskiss @st4rgrlll @mattyblover07 @sm-ec @mattluvsmarni @knowingnothingnoel @mattsgirlfrieeend @skysturniolo

[theaologies]

spinning my chair around and sitting in it backwards: GOOOOOD MORNING CLASS

FIRST AND FOREMOST: this is not a panic post. It’s an informational preparedness post. Don’t panic. Just be prepared for this like you’d be prepared for an earthquake but you know it’s coming and it’s wet.

I’m 30, lived in Central Florida for the first 26 years of my life, and have experienced more hurricanes and tropical storms than you can imagine. Never in my life did I think I would have to discuss HURRICANE SAFETY again after moving to LOS ANGELES from FLORIDA and yet HERE WE ARE-

(This information is accurate as of 8/17 at 9am PST)

SO models are still early but it seems like as of last night, Pacific Hurricane Hilary is rapidly intensified AND has shifted its track pretty severely inland. Originally SoCal was predicted to get some bands off the coast but this does NOT seem to be the case anymore

As our good friend Jim Cantore mentioned above, if Hilary DOES make landfall in SoCal, it will be the first tropical storm to do so since 1939. Fucking yikes.

THE GOOD NEWS:

It isn’t looking like Hilary will make landfall anywhere as a strong hurricane. If it makes landfall in central Baja it looks like it’ll be a Cat 2 which isn’t great but still- better than the Cat 5 it’s currently strengthening to.

As for SoCal, we’re not predicted to get anything over a Tropical Storm. And mountains tear up tropical cyclones like crazy. It’ll (probably) be weak and, wind wise, no worse than the Santa Ana’s

THE BAD NEWS:

Our Cone of Uncertainty is currently pretty wide- this fluctuation matters as it determines which side of the storm hits us. Is this significant? Yes. The right side of a Hurricane is considered the “dirty” side- it’s the side that is most likely to produce severe weather, such as severe thunderstorms and tornadoes. It’s still too early to determine what side will affect us the most but it’s something to keep in mind.

Also, I can’t speak for the rest of SoCal, but I would not bet on the LA infrastructure doing well even with a weak tropical storm. Which is why I have brought you here today, to run down the IMPORTANT HURRICANE CHECKLIST

NOTE: I made this several years ago for FLORIDA so not all of it will be accurate to SoCal. Most of us live in apartments and have no say over tree trimmings and the likes. If the storm is feeling like it’s going to get bad, I would recommend moving important things and electronics away from windows and hanging out in areas of the apartment that have the least amount of windows. I don’t think boarding up windows or anything will be necessary but here’s information if you need/want it

ANOTHER NOTE: if you have the means, please check up on your unhoused neighbors and immediate community groups that do so, as well. As always, they will be the ones most affected by severe weather. Tarps, anything that rises up off the ground, waterproof bags, etc would be good to grab for them. I am not an expert here and would recommend following the lead of your community groups that work with your unhoused neighbors to find out what will be needed most.

I don’t at all think we’ll see any shutdowns so if the rain does get bad be prepared for dangerous driving conditions. I know it’s dangerous to drive any time it rains in LA but, you know. The Weather Channel isn’t predicting a TON of rain at the moment (for LA) but, just like our winter/spring this year, be on the look out for flash floods.

And again, this is all JUST IN CASE. It’s better to be prepared than not. SoCal’s infrastructure is not at all prepared to handle a tropical event so who knows! Anything is possible. If I was in Florida I wouldn’t at all be worrying about this but I’m not anymore and our wet winter absolutely fucked our roads in LA so I’d rather everyone be safe than sorry.

I’m sure it’ll all be fine and now you just have more safety information, which is never bad! Because frankly climate change is very real and I would not be surprised to see this happening more and more in the coming years. And it does have me worrying that El Niño this year is going to be worse than we imagined.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Personal Torture

Pairing: Bang Chan x female reader

Genre: fluff / gym au

Tropes: established relationship

Warnings: a lot of body soreness lol

Word count: 898

Author’s Note: I wrote this from experience – well, minus that I didn’t have Bang Chan to help me recover. But the rest was very much so written in the moment.

“Easy… take it slow.”

You whimpered as you slowly descended onto the couch, no part of your body quiet in its protests. The strong hands around your biceps supporting you were a pleasure and a pain, and when you finally sunk deeply into the cushion beneath you, you were relieved when Chan let go.

Crouching down in front of you, your boyfriend tried hard not to laugh at your expense. It made his soft guidance over to the couch seem irrelevant as your eyes – thankfully not hurting in any way – glowered at him. “You okay there?”

“I’m going to hurt you.”

He bit his lip briefly. “I don’t think you can, not at least for a day or two. Besides, if you hurt me, who is going to help you into the shower once I’ve fed you?”

Grumbling at his smart response, you tried to fold your arms across your chest in annoyance. Instead, you winced as your armpits, of all places, ached with the stretch. Christ, was there a part of your body where you wouldn’t ache after today? You let out a huff of air. “I’m never going again.”

“Yes, you will. It was your first session. It makes sense your body would ache afterwards.”

“This much? I feel like I’ve been put into a tumble dryer and thrown about for an hour.”

Chan couldn’t hold back a snort. “It’ll get easier when your body grows accustomed to exercising. I promise.”

“Did you hurt like this the first time?” you asked, looking at your boyfriend’s athletic shape. You then scrunched your nose. “Never mind, I’m sure you came out of the womb this fit.”

Laughing now, Chan patted your knees gently and grimaced when you whined in displeasure. “I don’t remember. I was always pretty active as a kid. And whilst the imagery of baby me coming out with abs is frighteningly hilarious, you’ve seen photos of me as a kid.”

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. It was one thing joining the gym and mucking around on the cardio machines. But a personal trainer? Chan, I just paid a woman sixty dollars to kill me.”

“You’re still alive.”

“My last breath is pending. I’m pretty sure if I try to stand up again, that will be my final act.”

“You’re going to be fine,” he insisted, moving into the kitchen and clanging things about. “I bet as soon as I’ve fed you and then gotten you into a shower to ease the ache in your muscles, you’ll be right as rain.”

“It took me twenty minutes to get inside from the car before, remember?”

“Fifteen of that was you telling me you couldn’t possibly move because you would fall.”

“My legs are still shaking. They’re like jello.”

“No pain, no gain.”

“I don’t want to gain. Actually, I do. Gain weight. That’s always been easy for me to do. Squatting down to my ankles on my first PT session? Surely that was her having a laugh at my expense.”

“Didn’t you finish all three sets?”

You frowned. “Yes, but-”

“Then you are stronger than you feel right now. Look at your effort. You didn’t give up.”

“I wanted to after the squats. That’s an exercise designed by the Devil himself.”

Chan gave you a pointed look. “But you completed it all.”

“I didn’t want to fail my first session!”

“And you didn’t. Think about how much you asked of your body just now. And it responded to all your requests.”

You thought over his words, pursing your lips together. He was irritatingly right. A smug smile bloomed over his face when he realised you had silently acknowledged his claim.

“Surely, what I did today wasn’t the norm. There’s no way I am going to recover from this to repeat that routine again so soon. If the squats don’t kill me, the damn yoga exercise on the ground will. I am now aware of muscles I didn’t know existed, Chan. I’d rather go back to being oblivious of them.”

Bringing over the sandwiches he’d made for you both, Chan sat down heavily beside you, grinning when you glared at him. He then handed over a plate before taking a bite from his own. After swallowing it down, he said, “I’m proud of you.”

“Of course you are. You’re a gym bro who successfully convinced your fitness-illiterate girlfriend into joining a gym and paying money to torture herself.”

“No. I’m a guy who listened to his girlfriend complain one too many times about feeling gross and wanting to be healthier and supported her in making small changes. Whether you never go again or not, I’m proud of you for putting yourself first like that.”

Placing down your sandwich, you took in his genuine expression, a small proud smile crossing your lips. “I didn’t fail.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“My butt is going to look amazing after conquering squats, isn’t it?”

He grinned. “That’s my girl.”

“Are you sure you’ll be proud of me if I never go again?”

“Well, you’ve already paid for your next two sessions, so…”

You groaned loudly, wincing when your body disagreed with your efforts. Having a cute butt wasn’t worth all this agony.

“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” Chan attempted, though he could tell you were beyond inspirational quotes now.

“Kill me now. It’ll be less painful.”

_________________

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

[Stray Kids Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist]

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

Over 8,500 rockets have been fired into Israel on Oct 7 and since. Over 10% of those malfunctioned and fell inside Gaza.

In the last twenty four hours, 13 Israeli soldiers were killed in battle with Hamas terrorists. One of them was fatally wounded yesterday, and died of his wounds today. His name was Pdaia Mark. In the pic below, you can see him on the right, with his sister. Both of them were in the car with their parents when Palestinian terrorists attacked in 2016. On the left is their father, Rabbi Michael Mark, who was murdered in that attack, in front of then 15 years old Pdaia, who was himself wounded in this terrorist attack (as was his sis and mom).

Pdaia's cousin was killed by Hamas terrorists on Oct 7. IDK if I have the words to explain how much pain and grief the death of these young men and women causes to a nation, whose people have been attacked by terrorists since before a state was established here. This is Pdaia at his father's funeral, 7 years ago:

I got to hear his family members talking about him. They said despite everything, they're winning, because Pdaia was fighting for his people out of love, not out of hate.

In Austria, the Jewish section of a cemetery in Vienna was set on fire, with swastikas drawn on the walls. This is again just a drop in the sea of antisemitic incidents rising since the start of the war.

The Iran-funded Houthis in Yemen confirmed and took responsibility for the rockets and drones they launched at Israel. This was known, but now it's official. Just as a reminder, Israel has been continuously fighting off attacks since Oct 7, and since the Houthis started attacking it, this has been happening on five fronts.

Over 11,00 Hamas targets have been attacked by Israel since the start of the war. I watched the other day an interesting interview with an ex pilot in the IDF, he mentioned that every target goes through a team of lawyers, who approve check the data to make sure that it's a legitimate one under International Humanitarian Law.

Hilary Clinton was asked about the idea of imposing a ceasefire immediately. This is what she had to say:

Through an agreement achieved with Israel and the US, Hamas and Egypt have finally started allowing wounded Gazans and those with foreign nationality to leave the strip through its border with Egypt.

On a personal note, it's winter, which is a season I love. I adore rain. Today I was absolutely terrified by the sound of thunder, because for a moment I thought it was a rocket that somehow hit Jerusalem without setting off the sirens. New level of trauma unlocked?

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[ourfewremainingfriends]

Aaaaaaa I'm reading American Psycho, and don't get me wrong, it's very well written and hilarious, but every single time PB exhaustively describes what everyone is wearing he sounds exactly like Ebony D'arkness Raven McGothFace or whatever her name was. Anyway this has been done before but fuck it.

Hi my name is Patrick Batemen and i ahve gorgeous, lush hair (because of all the products i use and because im 26 (im 26. Not 30. I am Not 30)) with no streaks (because im not 30. That's disgusting) that reaches the normal and perfect length hair for men. I have A Perfectly Pleasantly Expression and a lot of people tell me I look like the boy next door (AN: because im normal, but also the most specialest little boy in business!). I’m related to women, guess, because theyre hot and im hot but I wish I wasn't because they’re a just empty vessels to make me feel like a god. I’m a businessman and my teeth are so fucking straight and white because if they werent id just kill myself. I have perfectly tanned skin but i dont have a tanning bed, because thats ridiculous. Is it? Should i get a tanning bed? Maybe its not gauche. I’m also a serial killer, and I go to a big boy corporation in America which means im really important, where I’m 26 (I’m Twenty-Six (not thirty)). I’m a Hot White Man with a hardbody (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly [insert five pages of incredibly detailed descriptions of the dullest clothing imaginable]. I love Expensive Dull Clothes and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots (but for businessmen in the 80s). I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow (in a classy way that made me better than everyone) . I was walking outside a fancy restaurant. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very neutral about, because the only emotion i feel is anxiety that not everyone recognises my glory. A lot of women/black people/fags/poor people/insufficiently preppy people stared at me. I put on my walkman at them.

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

This just in, my Principals of Archeology Professor is hilarious! Some quotes from the first lecture...

"Some of you are going to come up with some wacky ass shit"

"The one rule of archeology is don't die"

"Fuckin hell... today's gonna suck"

"Do not die for archeology. It's just not that cool."

"I don't care about the french unless they're dead"

"The King Tut shit pic is how I got my Job"

"killing each other, basic human things"

"Antiques Road Show is devils spawn"

"La Paz Bolivia is the one exception. The rich people live at the bottom and the slums are at the top because its frezzing in high altitudes. This means when it rains the shit from the slums is now on the rich peoples lot and I just- I feel like if more places were like that the world would be a better place"

"Stop being nice in this class" *starts encouraging students to be dicks and take pot shots at dead people*

*Actively encouraging students to pirate or steal the text book*

"After 1 week extension, you will need an act of God for me to take your paper"

"Classroom behavior policy... I prefer the term Don't Be A Dick"

"Threatening behavior... Don't."

"You gotta be the person who enjoys getting dysentery with 20 of your closest friends"

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 10

welcome the the tenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. A Rain-Check on Redamancy by @youraveragemushroom

Burnout these days usually came from working long nights at the Garrison. If Lance from five years ago could see himself today—working part-time to rebuild Earth and full-time as an instructor at the very same institution that gave him his crippling anxieties—he would probably shit a brick. Hell, five years ago he hadn’t even known aliens existed (although he always knew deep down that humans weren’t alone in the universe), and now he’s best friends with multiple! One of which had apparently texted him an hour ago.

Forgoing proper texting procedure due to fatigue and general doneness, Lance tapped on the icon to call back.

“Hello?” a familiar deep rasp answered from the other line.

“Hey, mullet,” Lance replied, pushing aside the papers in front of him to lay his head down on the desk. “What’s cooking?”

In which Lance finds himself ignoring how late it is and indulges himself in pining after Keith. Which becomes slightly more difficult when said object of his affections shows up in the middle of the night to rescue him from paperwork, stress, and the melancholy that came from being away from him.

the ‘god i wish you were here’ ‘look behind you’ trope will get to me EVERY single time idc. always makes me all stimmy bc its THE epitome of romance. this whole thing was so so romantic and full of parallels to the first episode to show how deep their relationship has gotten...i love me some romantic parallels fr

2. sweetheart by @jilliancares

“Sorry, babe,” Keith says. He even smiles, no doubt proud of himself.

And Lance knows it’s his fault. He started it, after all, but at least the biting term of endearment made sense when he was the one doing it. Keith had been talking to him like they were some old married couple. The kind who’ve been married too long and don’t love each other anymore and gripe over meaningless shit, only managing to piss each other off even further.

That’s why Lance called him dear. Because it made sense in the situation. It was a calculated insult. A strategic jab.

Keith, on the other hand, is weaponizing the term of endearment without any rhyme or reason, simply to get back at Lance.

Or: Keith and Lance have gotten into the habit of using pet names as condescending insults. They're not really terms of endearment.

ooooooo god endearments going from sarcastic to desperately genuine and the inherent hopelessness in that....whew boy. its def a Concept that u indulge and then you have to clutch ur stomach. i remember reading this as i was getting ready and brushing my teeth and the cliff scene made me gasp out loud and stop just to i could pay Full Complete Attention

3. don’t speak the language by @goldengalaxies

“More importantly” Lance says. “I am currently having a breakdown in this lift because look at him- I am so incredibly gay.”

“Lance!” Hunk buries his face in his hands. “He could speak English you know, your skills of deduction are really not that good.”

Lance ignores his warning in favour of groaning dramatically. “Oh, Dios mio, Hunk, he’s so gorgeous. Look at those muscles. He could probably bench press me.” Lance fanned himself. “Oh my God, fencing is my new favourite sport, fuck swimming.”

(or the one where Lance thirsts after a random guy in the lift who he thinks can’t speak English. lance is very wrong and hunk is very much done with his shit.)

let me tell u about this fuckin FIC. it’s hilarious, but i first read it before i meticulously started storing and bookmarking my fave fics, so when i wanted to reread it i couldnt find it. but i KNEW it was hilarious so i spent fckn hours looking for it, and it took me hours too bc i coulnt figure out which tags to filter. but it was WORTH IT. the entire concept of this fic is hilarious and makes me laugh. amazing work.

4. Whose bright idea was this? by IronScript

When Lance is captured during a mission with the MFE pilots, he wakes up aboard Haggar's ship, though the witch herself isn't there, so he figures why waste an opportunity? Then he finds something that he definitely hadn't expected.

All the while, he has no idea that back at the Garrison, his team and a few select others are watching his every move.

bro the idea that the team is panicked for lance’s safety and they desperately organise a rescue mission for him terrified that hes getting tortured and losing hope but by the time they find him he’s already got one foot out the door and has rescued himself is ENDLESSLY funny to me. like he really said ‘damsel in distress who’ and i love him for that lmao

5. Garfle! Warfle! Snick! by IronScript

How the game show episode actually should have happened.

I'll admit to being a Lance stan, but even people who don't like him seem to agree that he was really fucked over in this episode. So here's my attempt at it. Is it more realistic than what actually happened? I like to think so.

another ironscript fic bc they nail bamf lance. this is how the gameshow WOULD have gone if vld gave a shit about their characters like actually. like yes of course the team is proud of each other and capable of acknowledging mistakes. of course keith knows lance’s worth. of course lance is a badass. of course the team knows wtf theyre doing. love to read this when i get mad about the game show

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[lazanskywrites]

Glee Was Ahead of It's Time.

You either love or hate Glee there is absolutely zero in-between. It's like the "cilantro soap-tasting gene", you decide whether you like it or not in one try. In my opinion, Glee is a masterpiece and I am prepared to die on this hill. Here are my top five reasons why Glee is one of my favorite shows.

My controversial take though, Glee was only good until halfway through season five. With that being said, the first reason why Glee is my favorite show is because the original cast is iconic. The original Glee Club members slowly fizzle out of the show, having random cameos here and there. This is why, to me, the last seasons are hard to watch. No amount of new characters will top the original characters, they were funnier and had better acting.

The fourth reason Glee is my favorite show is because the comedy was ahead of its time. Countless skits in the show are similar to those in today's comedic world on TikTok or YouTube. But Glee is slowly losing popularity as other shows and movies are produced. The writing and comedic timing of these attached clips are another reason why I and plenty of others still watch Glee.

The third reason I love Glee is for their celebrity cameos. John Stamos, Neil Patrick Harris, Britney Spears, Ricky Martin, Olivia Newton-John, and Jennifer Coolidge, the list goes on and on. Every celebrity has an important role in the episode or the season they're featured in. For example, John Stamos' character was dating a teacher involved in the Glee Club. Ricky Martin was a Spanish teacher who taught the Glee Club about Latin music. And Olivia Newton-John was alongside Jane Lynch's character in a music video.

The amount of A-list celebrities the directors were able to feature in only six seasons is outstanding. It shows how popular this show became as more episodes were filmed.

Fourthly, Glee would be nothing without the music (literally). Were all the covers good? Absolutely not. But the good covers were good covers. Every character has a handful of songs that were praised in the Glee fandom, but Rachel, Mercedes, and Blaine had hit after hit. As much as I dislike both Rachel Berry and Lea Michelle, she can sing. Rachel's standout song for me was "Don't Rain On My Parade", it perfectly highlights her vocal talent and the attitude her character brings to the show.

Mercedes has just as powerful of a voice as Rachel and Mercedes does not hold back. Her character was hilarious and full of talent, but she often got overshadowed by her peers. There are songs her peers had performed I think she would've performed ten times better. This isn't a solo, but it's my favorite song of hers. The context of the song is hilarious and the music video is pure 2010s vibes.

Finally, Blaine Anderson. On TikTok, there is a joke being spread that any song Blaine has covered in Glee is better than the original. They call it the "Blaine Anderson effect". Similar to the "Kelly Clarkson effect" which is when Kelly Clarkson covers a song and outdoes the original artist. I listen to Blaine's covers like they're originals. I could go on and on about how many good covers he has in Glee. Today, Darren Criss still performs outstanding covers. My favorite Blaine cover has to be "Bills, Bills, Bills".

The fifth and final reason why I love Glee is none other than Jane Lynch. Without fail, she'll always be the funniest character in every episode. What I appreciate about her character is the soft side she tries to cover up with crass jokes towards students and colleagues. Realizing why she is protective and patient with Becky it makes you see her from a different perspective. I love Sue Sylvester so much that I dressed up as her for Halloween.

It takes a certain person to truly enjoy Glee so it's not surprising that I'm one of the only people out of all my friends who enjoy watching an episode or two every night.

You thought I was kidding about the Halloween costume?

[pollunam]

Flaws. Part 7.

The sun blazed high above us during the day. Freddie and I were fishing, though my efforts were not particularly successful.

— It's really simple, — he said, — you cast and reel.

— The main thing is that it's hilarious fun—casting and reeling. At least it’s better than casting and sitting in a boat at four in the morning, feeding bugs while waiting for a bite.

— Seems like you’re out of luck, — Graham said as he walked past.

— Maybe you’ll have better luck?

— A competition?

— A competition.

Hessie returned with his fishing rod, humming a tune to himself.

— Oh, we're in for a delicious dinner! — Gus's voice came from behind us. It seemed fishing was the main event of the day for everyone.

I sighed, adjusting the loose strands of hair that had fallen from my bun. The sun was scorching; I wasn't prepared for this, having always cherished the rain and storms.

— Hey, Jeffrey, — Gus called out, — want to earn some money?

Applyard appeared from the cabin. — I'd do almost anything for that.

— The guys are competing, — Gus began, then turned to us. — By the way, in what?

— Who catches the most fish or, Y/N, better yet, who catches any fish at all? — Graham smiled good-naturedly.

I mimicked him, distorting the words.

— Oh, I get it, I’m betting a hundred on Graham, — Jeffrey laughed. — That’s a sure bet.

— Really? Is that your support?

— Don't take it personally, it’s just business. Well, Gus, your choice?

— Freddie, I’m betting on you, don’t let me down.

Freddie whistled. — I won’t mess up, sir.

— Very inspiring, — I shook my head.

Graham, meanwhile, was getting fired up, whistling a tune even louder.

Lassen emerged from the cabin, drops falling from his hair, looking fresh and energetic.

— Fresh as a daisy, my friend, — Gus clapped him on the shoulder. — We’ve got an interesting battle going on. Who do you think is the best fisherman among these three?

— Hessie.

— You didn’t even hesitate, — I grumbled.

— It’s just logical. He’s been sailing since childhood, so this is his element.

— Yes, but he hasn't caught a single fish our entire trip, while Freddie has, — the captain noted, raising a finger.

— Are you guys making bets?

Appleyard and March-Phillips nodded.

— I bet on Y/N, — Lassen winked at me.

— I’m definitely making money today, — Jeffrey smiled.

— So, let's set a time limit, an hour should be enough.

They sat behind us, and I felt like a racehorse. Not the most pleasant feeling in the world, but the competitive spirit spurred me on.

I don’t know if it’s luck, Poseidon, or the guiding star that helps fishermen, but it’s worth trying to win.

— Looks like I've got a bite, — Graham exclaimed happily, reeling in his line, but at the last moment, the fish slipped away, its scales glinting in the sunlight before it disappeared into the water.

Jeffrey shouted in frustration.

— Stuff happens, don’t shout too soon, — Hessie responded irritably.

Lassen and I exchanged glances. — Go on, I believe in you!

— He supports her because they’re a team. We’re a team too, — Graham insisted, gesturing between himself and Jeffrey and then to me and Anders.

— Freddie, ignore him and catch the fish! — Gus yelled. — Don’t distract my fisherman.

Soon, Freddie threw the first catch into the net.

Graham became even more determined, casting his line with such force that it seemed like the rod would follow and fly around the Earth.

I felt a tug on my lure; the festivities were starting on my street too.

— One-one, — Gus noted. — Well, Apple, I think you’re going to go broke today.

Anders smiled without any bravado. He didn’t care how much money he would win or lose by evening; it was genuine joy.

— You’re doing great, — he mouthed, and I turned away shyly, not yet used to the fact that there was something more behind those words.

Time passed, and tensions rose. The three of us had an equal amount of fish, and Graham's mood noticeably improved.

— Exactly five minutes left.

I was truly starting to enjoy the activity, not worrying about the results, because an unempty net was already a win for someone who usually avoided such entertainment.

Graham grunted, — Oh my God, did I catch a shark? — He pulled with great effort, and finally, a big fish appeared out of the water.

— That counts for two, — he said.

— Guys! — Gus clapped his hands, — Time's up, and we have our winner!

Jeffrey smiled triumphantly as he collected his winnings. — I'm sorry, but Hessie and I aren't such easy opponents after all.

— Especially you, — I shook my head, putting away my fishing rod.

The evening draped the sky in a soft, slightly prickly blanket of cold. The radio crackled in the cabin as Graham searched for the right station.

— Finally! — Hessie exclaimed as a song came on. — Now we can eat.

I gently nodded to the music, setting the table. For a moment, it felt like the cabin had transformed into a cozy little house filled with songs every evening and morning news readings, while coffee languished in a cup.

— Dance night? — Freddie asked, rolling up his sweater sleeves as he took his seat. — You're a culinary wizard.

— Thank you, — I smiled, placing a glass in front of him.

— I'll open it," Alvarez said, taking a bottle of wine. "Since we’re celebrating tonight.

— What are we celebrating? — Lassen asked as he entered the cabin.

— Life.

— Sounds like a beautiful toast.

Soon, the cabin was filled with the sound of clinking glasses, the clatter of forks on plates, and the crunch of bread rolls.

— I've never eaten anything tastier, — Graham praised.

— You haven't tried her signature pie, — Appleyard interjected. — It's the ultimate.

— Just an ordinary pie, — I shrugged.

— Don't be modest.

— And you should be more modest, Jeffrey.

— Come on, as they say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and you've won us all over. What’s wrong with that?

I smiled slyly. — Except for Gus, of course.

— What are you hinting at? — The captain bristled.

— At a certain lady who was in the office.

— Marjorie? — Jeffrey choked, coughing. — No way.

— First, no, second, why are you so surprised?

— It's hard to explain, but it's like you’re completely different.

I leaned back in my chair, watching as various emotions and thoughts flickered across the men's faces.

— I don’t get it, so I need to find an identical person now? — Graham asked.

— Of course not, but think about it—him and Marjorie.

— I don't know who that is.

Jeffrey raised his eyebrows, then turned from Hessie to Gus. — Don’t worry, friend, it'll pass.

— What will pass?

— Your infatuation.

— Are you two mocking me?

— I never joke about this. But if you tried to impress her by stealing cigarettes and a coat, I think you succeeded.

— You don’t understand women, captain, — Freddie laughed.

— Let’s drop the topic, or I’ll have to tell stories about your love escapades.

— Whose?

Gus looked at me like he knows something.

— Jeffrey once got into a bar fight over a girl, only to find out later it was with her brother, which nearly led to a fight with her.

—Y/N broke a guy's nose when he tried to kiss her.

— I was fifteen and didn't want to kiss him.

— Yes, but you cried about it afterward.

— He doesn’t understand women either, — Freddie shrugged.

— Well, maybe Anders is our expert?

Everyone turned to him, calmly finishing his salad, seemingly not even listening.

— What’s up?

— Lassen, you look like a formidable and relentless machine. How do the ladies like that?

— No complaints so far. What's the point of this conversation?

— The point is, you boys don’t understand women at all. Except maybe Freddie, it seems.

Freddie and I exchanged glances. — Much appreciated.

— That’s not true, women just need to be loved.

— Oh, so you're a loveful guy, huh? — I crossed my arms. — Tell us more.

— Yeah, Lassen, tell us, — Gus smirked.

Anders put down his utensils, adjusted his glasses. — I get the feeling you're trying to catch me saying something wrong.

— No, friend, but since you're such a great lover, why not share some tips?

Anders took a deep breath. — That secret will die with me.

— I know one thing for sure, — Jeffrey stood up. — Girls love to dance, especially our lovely Y/N — He smiled, extending his hand to me.

The song swept me into the dance, seeping into me like a strong drink. The melody swirled, and I spun along with it. Jeffrey danced beautifully, feeling the rhythm, and sang along to the lyrics. The lightness of our feet, the speed of our turns, and the incredible joy rising within me took my breath away. Jeffrey held my hand firmly, spinning me toward him and lifting me up. The song ended, and there was applause.

— You're still a good dancer, Apple.

— You two should enter a contest—you'd win for sure, — Freddie handed me a glass of water. — That was fantastic!

— Y/N, may I have a dance? — Graham asked.

— I'd be delighted.

The evening was marked by dancing and sweet wine. I danced with everyone except Lassen, laughing and twirling in the euphoria of the music that filled the air. Dance always created a separate world where miracles happened, my mind emptied, and all that was left was to keep breathing.

The weather took a turn for the worse, with thunder rumbling or perhaps it was just my heart pounding loudly in my ears. The guys stepped out onto the deck from the stuffy room to check everything before the storm hit.

— Now it's my turn for a coveted dance, — Anders said softly, stepping close.

— Have you earned it?

Anders smirked, leaning in even closer. His breath seared my neck, triggering an irreversible reaction within me.

— Using your secret methods to seduce?

— You know it's not like that, — he replied calmly, leaving a trail of kisses.

His hands settled on my waist, pulling me into a slow sway. The music played softly from the radio, and our gazes melded into one. The wild swing had turned into a silent conversation of our bodies. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat rapidly, as if from excitement and thrill.

— Hey! Anders, Y/N! — Freddie burst into the cabin, momentarily stunned. — Sorry.

— It's alright, we’re just wrapping up the evening with a dance, — Lassen replied.

— What happened? — I stepped back, regretting the fleeting moment.

— There’s a ship—British Navy. Looks like we’re in trouble.

— Stay here.

— Absolutely not, — I said, stepping out. — If it ends now, they’ll search the cabin too, trust me.

Anders took my hand. — Then stay close.

I nodded, following him.

The ocean raged, as if the scene was straight out of a movie, the colors intensifying dramatically. Thoughts of a cold cell weren’t scary but unpleasant, like a fat rat in a garbage can. There was something else, truly frightening. We watched the cruiser turning in the distance.

— Stick to our usual strategy. Now we’re on a honeymoon, — Gus said. — As ridiculous as it sounds, the story always works.

— And what are you doing in our honeymoon? — I asked.

Freddie asked. — It's obvious lying if we’ve been seen.

— They couldn't have. If you leave now, they won't see.

The guys went down to the cabin. The rain started drizzling.

— We won't end up in their brig, not today, — Anders said cheerfully, clearly an adrenaline junkie enjoying potential danger.

— You know, New Year’s is soon. I don't want to spend it in a cell.

— We'll celebrate it and not in a cell.

— You’re an optimist, one of a kind.

The cruiser approached.

— You know, we’d make a good husband and wife.

— We'll find out now, — I smiled. — But yes, we're doing well.

Soon, the British ship drew alongside us, crew members and the Viscount himself appearing on deck.

— What are you doing here? — came the voice from the ship. We had to crane our necks to see them.

— Good day, we’re just on a little honeymoon trip from Sweden. — Lassen put his arm around my shoulders, likely for authenticity.

— How did you end up in these waters?

— We lost our way.

Viscount Algernon called someone over. "You speak Swedish, don't you?"

Apparently, it was their cook, who nodded casually and spoke to Anders. It looked like a charming chat between old friends.

— Quiet, Lassen. Let your wife answer, — the Viscount said.

From this, the conclusion was clear and not encouraging.

— Of course, I'd never refuse, but I'm not very good at it yet.

— And do you know why, milady? Because you are Edith Wilkins by birth, who wasn’t married just a couple of weeks ago.

— Why don’t you consider the possibility that it could have happened during that time frame?

— Let’s just check everything out, search the cabin, and have an interesting interview with you. You can tell us your love story over a cup of tea.

— With all the details? — Lassen squinted.

— You’re playing a risky game, guys, but if you have nothing to hide, drop anchor.

We exchanged glances. We had to hope for a miracle, which came when a German submarine approached the cruiser. Shells began to fire.

— Time to get out of here, — Anders ran to the sail, releasing it.

Graham emerged from the cabin to help. At full speed, we escaped the fire and the battle scene.

— Clever, very clever.

— As if we ordered the submarines to show up right next to us, — I chuckled.

— But you held your ground well, can’t deny that, — Gus noted.

Freddy still glanced at me questioningly. Perhaps it seemed foolish to keep secrets, especially when there was nothing significant to hide, but I didn’t want to share, still internally on guard, occasionally indulging my fears.

Rain thundered all night, and the ship swayed. Wrapped in a blanket, I still felt the cold creeping into my sanctuary. The mission was nearing its end, and I was getting involved in a fling. It seemed even more foolish than everything else. Of course, Anders never lacked attention from the opposite sex. Emotions sounded the alarm. I imagined getting burned by someone who might not turn out to be a romantic gentleman. I opened my eyes, staring at the wall, replaying all the moments we had spent together. There wasn't a single moment where he made me doubt him. So why was I almost drowning in fear now?

— Can’t sleep? — Jeffrey asked quietly.

— No.

— Want to smoke?

We silently got up and stepped out into the pouring rain, huddling under the small overhang of the cabin. Jeffrey lit my cigarette with his lighter.

— Everything okay?

— Yeah, of course.

— I’ve already told you, I see everything.

— And what’s your conclusion, expert?

— I don’t understand. Did that stupid cruiser throw you off? If so, forget about them. Worse things lie ahead.

— Thanks, very comforting.

— You know, it’s easier to assess the situation in contrast.

— You’re right, — I said, taking a drag and closing my eyes.

— But you’re wrong in one thing, that’s not the reason.

— Apple, come on, it’s all right, just nerves.

He didn’t believe me, but he didn’t say anything.

— What will you do when it’s all over?

— Work, as always.

— You know, it may not be my business, but I’ll say it anyway. There’s too much work in your life, you’re missing out on reality.

— What do you mean by that?

— Just life, raising flowers, going on dates.

— Thanks for the plan, friend, but I’ll manage somehow.

— I thought so, you won’t listen.

— Why would I? You burst into my life, handing out free advice.

— Because I care,Y/N, you’re like a sister to me.

I sighed, knowing he was right.

— Fine, I’ll think about your words, agreed?

— Yeah, — he put out his cigarette, — and what about you and Lassen?

— Oh God, nothing.

— So, he’s not the reason either?

— Only if we’re talking about worldwide catastrophes.

Jeffrey chuckled, — okay then, good night.

I stood there a bit longer, finishing my cigarette.

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Dark Blue Kiss and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I’ll cover Dark Blue Kiss and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again, and the start of the creation of Aof Noppharnach’s universe of singular BL tropes and themes.]

Let me say this: 2019 was an insane year for BLs, right? To have He’s Coming To Me, Dark Blue Kiss, AND TharnType coming out in the same year seems almost overwhelming to me (even though I know that HCTM was mostly buried for years). 

My very good luck over the last three (THREE!) weeks has been in just enjoying an INDULGENCE of past and current work by Aof Noppharnach. Studying his work is a major goal of this Old GMMTV Challenge project, as I’ve been seriously destroyed, personally, by the layers and implications of his work as an Asian director and screenwriter, with me as an Asian-American viewer watching his shows that I can relate to on basically almost every level of my existence, while not being queer. 

But, hilariously: an INITIAL goal of this project -- I cannot believe I’m saying this now that I’ve already gone through so many shows -- was that, before deciding to get to know Thai BLs historically, I had long intended to watch Dark Blue Kiss as a means of getting to know Tay and New. BECAUSE (cough cough): I am an absolute digging, sniffling, barking golden retriever for Cherry Magic. I LIVE FOR CHERRY MAGIC. I stan so stupid hard for Machida Keita and Akaso Eiji. I own their dumb mugs! I have DVDs, magazines, so much CM shit in my house. LIKE, I LIVE FOR THAT SHOW AND LOVE IT SO MUCH. 

So Tay as Kurosawa and New as Adachi? I needed to know who these dudes were before I watched them in Cherry Magic. (I’m totally giggling about this now.)

OBVIOUSLY, I’ve gotten MUCH WISER, much more HIP to the SCENE, if y’all will, and I understand much better how important Tay and New are as an OG GMMTV ship. And for them to appear in Dark Blue Kiss, after originating PeteKao in Kiss and Kiss Me Again -- I understand the meaning and importance of that in 2019, now, through my watchlist project.

There are a few themes that come to mind as I think about how I’ll review this show:

1) Watching the birth of the singular BL tropes that P’Aof created in Dark Blue Kiss -- t-shirts, picture boards, etc., 2) How he balances and integrates Big Themes in his storytelling, and 3) How he chooses particular actors to buck certain assumptions in Thai society regarding appearance.

I’ve now seen almost all of P’Aof’s major works, save for Still 2gether. And I’ve watched these out of order, although I have chronological rewatches of A Tale of Thousand Stars and Bad Buddy (and their respective Our Skyy 2 episodes) coming up on the watchlist.

So I couldn’t help but see A LOT of proto-BBS in Dark Blue Kiss, which I really enjoyed seeing, as a slavish BBS girlie. I loved seeing P’Aof’s tropes in historical form. The picture posterboard above Pete’s bed. Mork’s and Sun’s matching t-shirts. The birth of the engineering trope in P’Aof’s own oeuvre, with the first appearance of the architecture red shirt on Rain. Finger promises in HCTM and DBK becoming fist bumps in BBS. I love teasing these out and seeing what P’Aof was DOING by creating his OWN platter of tropes that he’d come to leverage and rely on in his future works -- all for creating a lovely sense of universe and intimacy among his beloved couples. (Pat wearing the forest ranger shirt in Our Skyy 2... I’m still laughing and shaking my head at that.)

I understand what P’Aof was doing by teasing out the PeteKao story and kind of slipping it away from the Kiss franchise -- not only do I understand it, I love the subversion of it. And I love that, while he was doing that, he was creating his OWN flavor of BL, complete with HIS own tropes and themes, while leveraging an already-existing property, to draw attention to the show vis à vis Kiss and TayNew. I think, by playing around with the bones of something that already existed, that he could begin to take risks to create an oeuvre that we know, now, in 2023, is utterly unique, and in my opinion, brilliant and important. (And I think it’s important to note this in particular because of how buried He’s Coming To Me was, and I think Dark Blue Kiss was an important move for P’Aof to make post-HCTM for GMMTV and for his career.)

(Tangentially, I think He’s Coming To Me and Moonlight Chicken stand alone as defiers of the BL genre, only minimally influenced by the stereotypical BL tropes, while featuring ONLY P’Aof’s own style of BL in their foundations. And as I’ve said previously -- I believe HCTM was way ahead of its time in 2019. I’ll talk a little more about this in my TharnType review later this week.)

But not only was P’Aof creating his own flavor of BL in DBK, as INFLUENCED by previous BL tropes, I also see that he was beginning to really burst out in establishing his own language of analysis of the macrosystemic issues that face the queer community -- issues that we see repeated and analyzed in his future works, particularly in ATOTS and BBS. In DBK, the major issues he tackles are socioeconomic inequality and internalized homophobia, and how these issues play out, internally and externally, among couples, their families, and their social worlds. 

These two issues crash headlong in the form of Non (played by the cutest-wutest AJ, who was SO! EVIL! but I wub him). Kao has to teach Non -- he must, because Kao needs the money to support his family, and his mom’s job would be at risk if she kept Kao, her son, from teaching her director’s son in Non.

Pete hates Non. Pete KNOWS Non is up to no good, and is after Pete’s man. Pete’s jealous of Non.

The simple equation here is: if Pete and Kao were out, then Pete wouldn’t have to feel jealous, because Kao could tell Non that Kao has a boyfriend. Pete is out to his dad. (BTW: PETE’S DAD IS THE BEST DAD IN BL, BAR NONE. PETE’S DAD NEEDS TO DAP UP WITH THUN’S MOM IN HCTM. P’Aof writes SUCH amazing parents. Gaipa’s mom FTW also.) 

I want to make quick reference to a meditation I wrote last week on pain and suffering in Asian BLs that notes this phenomenon -- what pain could have been either avoided or mitigated if a couple is able to be out. I’m of the belief that in Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars, that Pat and Pran could have possibly avoided their tiff before the trip to Pha Pun Dao if they had been out. If they had been out -- Pat would not have had to fib about their relationship to his engineering bros, and Pran would not have overheard Pat saying that Pran always needed Pat. They could have avoided the confusion all together.  

Pete and Kao fall into the exact same boat -- this is where P’Aof births a concept that will repeat itself in OS2 x BBS. Pete wants Kao to be out to Kao’s mother, so that they can be out together, to everyone. And: Pete has financial stability and security.

Pete’s boxes are checked. Kao has much more tangled issues. Kao THINKS his mom will not be happy to find out her son is gay. AND: HE’S the breadwinner. (I actually thought this was a touch confusing in the show, as Kao’s mom is clearly a teacher -- but relies on Kao as if he’s the breadwinner.) In any case, it’s clear that Kao adopts the role as the male head of the family, while still depending on his mother for emotional fulfillment. 

In other words: Kao has a much more TRADITIONAL background to contend with. To me, that’s à la Pat, à la Uncle Jim, à la Phupha, even à la Ming. All of these men have their backgrounds, their roles, all laid out for them by family and society, through culture and expectation. 

That’s a lot for Kao to break from. Because Pete has confidence through the reality that his life’s needs are squared away, Pete HAS the emotional room and ability to push Kao to be out. And I think that’s why it takes Kao so long in the show to move forward and to meet Pete where Pete was at. 

Here’s my criticism of DBK. I think DBK is a lighter show than P’Aof’s other works (again, without having seen Still 2gether). I think that’s because P’Aof knew that he still had to hew to some of what Kiss and Kiss Me Again had given him by way of cinematography (a lighter and fluffier filmmaking style than his usual serious lighting and camera work) and by tone (much more soapy and a touch more dramatic than I’m used to seeing in his oeuvre). (Oh, but, but: THAT OPENING THEME, YES, FRIENDS, WAS A BANGER. SHEEEEET. THAT THEME SONG! THOSE CURTAINS! THE WIND! THE STARES. KAO’S TEAR. So good!)

And I’m not entirely sure that P’Aof was able to get as DEEP, internally, with Kao as maybe he could have if he himself had been able to write Kao from Kao’s very existent start in fiction. P’Aof was taking this already-established character through an emotional reckoning that still needed to stick with a kind of Kao that had been born in the previous Kiss versions.

It’s a minor quibble, but I think the Non storyline ran for too long. I think it could have wrapped up much more quickly. I think we got a lot more time with Sun and Mork than I could have expected because P’Aof kind of drew out Non to keep the 12-episode bundle together.

Again, minor criticism. However, I *did* happen to appreciate how much TIME Pete and Kao spent fighting towards the end of series. That lengthy disagreement allowed Kao to really begin processing his own internal change to recognize his love for Pete, and to play around with what he’d be willing to risk by way of his family to be with Pete. It allowed Kao to consider that he NEEDED to demonstrate personal responsibility to Pete, and even to his family. I really thought that was in-depth and brilliant, and despite minor quibbles about New’s acting, I thought New carried it very well.

What’s amazing to me, though, is that Kao CLEARLY MISSED that his mom TOTALLY KNEW that he was gay, ha. Kao was SO CONSUMED with concern for what his mother WOULD THINK, that he didn’t see -- with his own two eyes! with Pete at the dinner table! -- that his mom CLEARLY KNEW. Kao’s mom side-eyed that basically from the start of the series, honey.

Despite that, what took my heart out a number of times in this show is that P’Aof showed empathy to Kao, and maybe even to the viewers that may have missed Kao’s mom’s silent acknowledgement before Kao’s coming out at the end. P’Aof was telling all of us this in the end quotes at the end of his episodes -- another unique P’Aof trope that was birthed in HCTM, and that I absolutely loved seeing in DBK and ATOTS.

(As a mom, that first slide makes me LOL so much, because it’s so true.)

Even while I felt that some DBK episodes were a little too long, a little too drawn out, these end quotes brought me back to what P’Aof was working on achieving in regards to revelation: that our human existence is so much more enriched if we’re able to transcend our worldly bullshit, even a little bit.

We see that in Kao with his mom. We see that in PETE, with his willingness to calm the eff down, bruv, and focus on his studies, and focus on managing his anger, for the sake of Kao, and for the sake of his own future. We see that in Sun, as he reorganizes himself and his insecurities to become an even better barista (I LOVE COFFEE IN BLs). We see that in Mork, as he ALSO demonstrates a willingness to calm the eff down, to promise to stop fighting to Sun, and to work on his own internalized homophobia to meet Sun as a partner. 

(I’m not going to spend too much time on Sun and Mork, but I absolutely LOVED PODD AND GAWIN, and I REALLY liked Podd’s portrayal of Sun’s very strong forwardness in his attraction to Mork. I loved his CONFIDENCE. I thought it was sexy, it was rooted in queer love and attraction, and I thought it struck a different and OPEN tone of movement in relationship-building that I haven’t seen in the previous watchlist BLs. Sun reminded me a bit of our fabulous guys in Make It Right -- that kind of almost earnestly honest openness.)

I want to note, in conversations with the wonderful @lurkingshan​, that we realized that in HCTM and DBK, we saw the start of P’Aof making a few other subversive choices in his shows. I wish I were more of an expert on the impact of colorism in Thai media and society, but I can extrapolate enough as an Indian (unfortunately). I couldn’t even SEE that Tay was a shade or two darker than New, but so be it. @lurkingshan​ noted for me (thank you, Shan!) that it was a subversive choice for P’Aof to center Pete’s story of change, from a bruiser to a carer, within a character that was slightly more melanated than his co-lead. I note that P’Aof shows no concern over casting other melanated actors -- Ohm Pawat and Earth Pirapat, multiple times -- in major lead roles with lighter-skinned co-leads. I love these choices and that he’s pushing boundaries across fiction and non-fiction. (And that P’Aof focuses on the quality of the ACTING of these dudes, as well as their looks -- that they should not be overlooked for being melanated.)

Like I said earlier, DBK was a lighter show than others of his that I watched. It was the first show of his that I watched that had a pre-established universe in the Kiss series. But I still fell in love with it -- I couldn’t help myself. I mean, come awn, Tay Tawan. Holy noodles. 

Could Pete and Kao have had a touch more feral chemistry, à la Pat and Pran and Jim and Wen? Sure, but I’m not complaining. I think, as compared to the PeteKao Kiss BL cuts, that P’Aof got a TREMENDOUS amount more out of Tay and New (especially Tay -- Tay’s Pete in DBK and his process of change was FABULOUS).

And I noted one last connection from Kiss/DBK to BBS, as I closed out my watch with the non-P’Aof Kiss Me Again edition of Our Skyy. I noted that Pete and Kao planted a tree together. 

And then I remembered that P’Aof had beloved Pat and Pran do just the same in Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS.

Pete and Kao, Pat and Pran, plant a plant together that will grow and grow. The plant lives out in the open, growing tall, towards the sun.

It gives me the chills, a warm and fuzzy happiness, to see these patterns being born, and P’Aof paying attention to them (even if the plant idea wasn’t his originally) -- because these artistic, dramatic tropes end up communicating so much to me about the depth of love that P’Aof is able to render, through his and our beloved couples, in his utterly fabulous shows.

[Welp -- if you’ve been reading my late-night liveblogs, you’ll know that my brain has been IMPALED by TharnType. I finished the series this past weekend in the heat of angst, and I’ll do the rare thing of releasing two reviews in one week -- I’m planning right now to drop the TharnType review on Thursday. If you’re a TT fan, then trigger warning: I have lots of things to say about this show that are the most critical I’ve ever written about any drama. 

On another, MUCH HAPPIER note, after a FABULOUS conversation with the WONDERFUL @so-much-yet-to-learn​, I’ve added GAP the Series to this list. With Saint investing in it, after his whole deal with the PerthSaint and ZeeSaint mishaps, I’m just really impressed that an important figure in the BL world has taken active steps to invest directly in more directly queer content. I think GAP is a must on this watchlist to understand the direction that Thai QL in general is going -- especially with 23.5 on the way later this year. (EEEEEEE!)

With that, here’s the latest version of the list. As ever, I’ll take comments, recs, etc.!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018)  11) TharnType (2019) (review coming) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) (watching) 13) Theory of Love (2019) 14) Dew the Movie (2019) (not an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but I want to watch this in chronological order with everything else) 15) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 16) 2gether (2020) 17) Still 2gether (2020) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 20) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 22) Lovely Writer (2021) 23) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 24) Not Me (2021-2022) 25) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 26) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 27) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 28) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 29) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 30) GAP the Series (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 31) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 32) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 33) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[sapphirerogers]

Little Tired Eye

[Steve Rogers x gn!reader

Warning: Bittersweet ending, fluff, angst, one swear word at the end.

Summary: Steve is your comfort person. You know that will never change.]

The heavy sound of the torrent above you mixes with the urgent Clop! Clop! Clop! of your boots carrying you home as fast as you could manage. You don't have an umbrella, only a jacket that you're holding above you to ward off at least some of the fierce patter of the rain. As if your day hasn't been terrible enough.

You almost cry in relief when you see your apartment building nearing. You couldn't care less about the drops you send flying everywhere as you dash up the staircase, fumbling along the way to retrieve your keys from the depths of your pocket.

The huge noise inside and outside your head comes to a sudden stop the moment you shut the door behind you, sending you into a daze for a few seconds. As you toe off said boots, you notice the light in the kitchen. Next thing you register is a low and deep voice humming a tune. You smile, despite everything you just braved throughout the day. You know who it is, and instead of heading to your bedroom, you make your way to the kitchen.

Sure enough, your blonde lover is at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in one hand and his phone in the other. Headphones in his ears.

You listen as he quietly croons along to Sweet Nothing, a soft smile on his lips as the music surrounds him. You almost don't want to interrupt his moment of bliss. You know that song touches him deeper than any other track on the whole album. You've sleepily joined him a few times as he's lulled you to sleep with it. He's admittedly not the most talented singer in the world, but his singing is the most melodious sound you have ever heard. You wouldn't trade it for anything.

Soon though, he looks up to find you leaning against the doorway. The smile grows wider as he pauses the song and comes to you to wrap you in his arms. Nevermind that you're soaked to the bone.

"Hey sweetheart."

You bury your face further into his chest, choosing to let his warmth heal your battered soul. He gets the hint, rubbing circles into your back.

Five seconds pass.

Fifteen.

Thirty.

You start crying noiselessly. It's been a really long day and it's weighed on you heavily. But you're not crying from the pressure.

🎶Outside they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming.🎶

You're crying because you've come home. To his sweet nothings.

He cradles you close to his heart, even as you clean up and get ready for bed. He holds you tightly, your favourite sound in the world ringing in your ears as you drift off into sleep.

You feel much more refreshed when you wake up. Of course he isn't next to you when you look to your side. It's not a big deal. He'll be back when you need him. You smile at memories of the previous night. You'll never stop marvelling at how his kindness is still intact after all he went through.

Today's a big day. Anticipation ripples through your friend circle in an undercurrent. All you can think about is the movie you're going to watch later in the evening. It's a huge thing for the franchise and its fandom, the biggest event of the decade. It's the culmination of eleven years of movies...and you're not sure what exactly you're going to do after this film's over.

You've had a major spoiler from one of your loose-lipped friends who saw it on opening night, but you're holding hope that he was joking even though you knew perfectly well he wasn't.

You cry when your favourite characters die. You cry when the spoiler moment arrives. Your friend had given you half the story. You saw the rest coming.

You refuse to speak a word after that. You're as silent as a grave in the restaurant, even though it's your favourite cuisine. Everyone else is either quietly sobbing or talking about the hilarious jokes that had been thrown in here and there. Whichever happens to be their coping mechanism. You stopped crying the moment you were outside the theatre. Knowing better than to bother you, they leave you alone, only making sure from time to time that you eat a substantial amount.

You trudge your way up the stairs again, feeling hollow inside. Get over it, it's a movie. None of it is real. None of it is real. Stop weeping over fictional characters, you tell yourself repeatedly. Your rational pep talk works well...until you're inside your safe haven, away from the rest of the world.

Because the moment you do...

"Hey sweetheart."

You should be angry. You should tell him how heartbroken you are. You should let him know how out of line he was.

But...

But he's here. He's here, radiant, smiling, warm. And yours. How do you even begin to be mad at him?

You crumble like a sandcastle.

"How was the film?" he asks brightly.

"You left." you fight back a sniffle.

"I left?" He's confused. Obviously. Your sweet angel Steve doesn't know any better. Can't know any better.

"You went back in time to be with her. You left everyone alone to live out a life in the past. A life where you didn't belong anymore." You whisper. You can't yell at him when he's holding you like that. Looking at you like that. Like you're his entire world.

"Oh darling..." he presses your head to his chest against, stroking your hair and kissing your temple. "Darling, that's ridiculous. That's nuts. I don't know why they'd even think of that. Look here," he pulls back slightly and tilts your chin up to meet his loving baby blues. "I'm right here." He strokes your cheek.

"Right." A peck to your lips.

"Here." Another.

"With." Kiss.

"You." Kiss.

"Always." One final kiss to seal the promise.

Your bottom lip wobbles. You don't know what you'd do without this man in your life. You can't afford to let him go.

"Y/N, you know everyone has to go sometime, right?" he's making every effort to make this as gentle for you as possible.

Dammit, was that my outside voice?

"Don't," you croak out.

The feeling of his arms around you is fading, too quickly for your liking. Your nose can't trace his scent anymore.

"I love you, Steve." You whimper.

He looks torn. "Darling, I'm not even rea-"

You close your eyes, blocking out whatever he's trying to say. You shake your head softly, focusing on him in your mind's little tired eye.

His voice fades. The warmth surrounding you is gone. All your senses are left numb.

You take a deep breath.

🎶They said the end is coming, everyone's up to something.

I find myself running home to your sweet nothings.🎶

Go fuck yourself, Endgame.

Your eyelids part open, just a sliver at first, then all the way.

His image fizzles for a moment before reappearing - brighter, clearer. The familiar smell of coffee, cologne and a hint of fabric conditioner is back in the air between you two. You're pulled closer to a firm, broad chest.

He smiles, and the room brightens, along with your spirits.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

[Yeah, I don't know where this came from. I had to let this out I guess. Sweet Nothing always reminds me of Steve. I thought setting reader in our real world would be a cool idea.

This is basically also me before and after Endgame.

Do reblog and/or leave some feedback if you appreciate it.]

Divider by: @firefly-graphics

@slut-for-chrisevans @peace-love-fanfiction @nana1000night @royalwriteroftheuniverse @hawkeyes-queen @imyourbratzdoll @jamneuromain @nekoannie-chan @sarahrogersevans @jesevans @heli0s-writes @steverogerssimpp @almosttoopizza

[inkheart01]

THE GODS WILL NOT GO QUIETLY

A Gladiator and a Paramour. A Scout and a warlords advisor. Friends torn down to Enemies. Martyrs and Makers. Allies reduced to Traitors. And the end of the day, who will question the gods when their toys grow boring?

PT 1- CHAPTER 2

WORDS - 1,468k

CHAPTER 1__CHAPTER 2__CHAPTER 3

“I have never understood where the line is drawn Between sacrifice And self-slaughter.” ― Hilary Mantel

The stands trembled under the combined weight of what seemed to be half of cybertron itself, deafening roars filling the cavernous space. Amidst the crowning crowd, Soundwave found the lith femme amidst the sea of bodies, pink armor hard to escape, especially when she practically hung from the balcony, only the grip of her brother keeping her from falling into the pit below, where two gladiators awaited the carnage to come.

“You know the stakes”, Gridline slunk from the shadows behind him, bouncing on his feet as Ravage slipped up onto the gladiator's shoulders. “You win this match, and your next big fight is against Megatronus. No more filler bots”

“Not that filler matches are bad”, Beacon hovered nervously beside the mech, tapping away at the tablet between her claws. “As time consuming as they are, we need them for the reputation”, she smiled widely up at Gridline, the mech too busy with socializing with the few bots handing over the entrance to care much about the words escaping his partner's ruby mouth. “Ah, well, moving on”, she waved him off, and Soundwave turned to her as she pulled up the complex schedule she had spent hours pouring over. He admired that about Beacon, where Gridline may have been his boss, scheduling fights and collecting payments, Beacon was the mastermind behind it all. She was organized, and while easy to annoy, she rarely let herself indulge in anything other than her work. “You beat Aftershock today and you move up the leaderboard, but remember-”

“It doesn't guarantee him the spot”, Frenzy echoed, smiling toothily.

“Yes, thank you”, Beacon scrunched her brows the the minibot, “Next week, your fighting Cobalt, Overshot and-”

“Oryx!”, the ebony ‘bot nudged his brother, both eying the crowd, and the crimson fighter acting as a wall between the twins. “Apparently he gored his last opponent with his horns!”

“Thank you, Frenzy”, the Femme shooed the two back down the tunnel, muttering as they went on about the last few match-ups. “Yes, yes, Oryx. He’s only a middle class fighter at best”, Beacon hissed, shoulders slumping once the twin minibots were out of earshot. “One competent opponent and he’s getting gored”

“The twins already pissing you off? It's barely been an hour”, Gridline sidled up next to the femme, wary of the talons she had on full display. Soundwave remembered one night, acid rain thick overhead, where she had returned long after curfew, energon staining her claws and a look of righteous fury painted across her faceplate. He had done the research, he knew who she had killed, and if she had wanted the life, Soundwave would have perhaps feared the idea of facing her in the pits. But for the peace of Primus, she had chosen the life of a gladiatorial secretary.

“No, scraphead, i'm not pissed”, Beacon hissed, brown knotting ass he spun to face Gridline. “We're behind schedule because you couldn't stop canoodling!”

“Then let's get moving”, the third member of the team, Strom hauled a heavy crate behind him, wolfish smile splitting his face as he slung an arm around Beacon’s shoulders. “Crowds alive tonight”

“They better be”

Soundwave reached for the box, latches hissing open as Strom ducked out of Beacons range, ducking behind Gridline, and when the gladiator stood, dual blades heavy in each hand, the armorer darted over to his side, pulling a shiny visor from its casing. “One more matchup, big boy, you win this and we say hello to more credits than we've ever dreamed of”

“Is it just about the money for you!”

Before Strom could respond, the lights went dark, and the crown roared. The visor slotted into place easily, locks snapping shut and machinations wiring as beyond its tempered glass, the arena lit up in bolts of vibrant neon, the announcer, zipping around overhead calling for the gladiators.

Soundwave stepped forward, an inky wraith against the light, ahead, Aftershock’s frame rattled with pent up charge, blue eyes searching the visor as hidden behind it, Soundwave found Cavalier, Rumble and Frenzy beside her, the trio shining like a lighthouse with every pass of the overhead neon, body’s painted in intricate patterns, but none so striking as the visor glowing blue across the Femme’s face.

Soundwave would win this fight, not because he had to, but because he wanted too.

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Nemesis was quiet in the gray of a cloudy dawn, engine rumbling softly as her crew roused. Work began early and ended late, the night shift stumbling back to their bunks as the day workers found their stations. It would be another busy day, Soundwave hummed to himself, feeling the static fuzz of his processor rebooting. The mech found sleep to be time consuming, and there was so much work to be done. I'll sleep when I'm dead. The human idioms rattled around in his mind from time to time, and he found that yes, sleep could wait.  

A soft beep reminded the mech of where he was, and what he was doing, the warship's powerful spark pounding above him, and a proud voice echoed down the narrow corridor. “There you are”, From the all-consuming energon glow, Peacemaker emerged, ducking under the arch that towered above him, mighty Forgehammer resting in her hand. “It’s been a while, my son”, The communications officer hung his head, a silent acknowledgement of the passing time. “The forge burns hot today, Nemesis seems to have found time to humour us with her conscious”, Her voice carried power, much like her frame, built tall and wide, and Soundwave feared that, in her ancient age, if she rose to her full height, shoulders squared and back straight, she would rival Megatron. 

At the passing glance of the warlord's name, soundwave relayed the message he had been sent with. “Tell that-”, he had spent the silent walk scrambling the moment his master had called the Forge-keeper a bleeding pile of useless scrap, “-I require more troops”. He also forwent the endless tangent Megatron had gone on, insulting every moment of the Autobots and their continued existence. It was not important, the message clear enough in as little as four words.

“Tell our gracious lord that his troops are already in production”, The forge-master sighed, hammer ringing across the ground as she inched closer. “Though, we both know that isn't why you are down here, is it?”, Of all members of the mighty Cybertronian race, only a select few could ever truly understand the cunning gladiator, and all but one resided secretly aboard the Decepticon warship. “Come, they have missed you”, a sharp pang of guilt raced through his systems, processor momentarily blinded by a pink frame, eyes bright and blue and laughter echoing around in the hidden recesses of his body. And then he pushed the aching ghost away and followed dutifully, mindful of the blistering heat as he shadowed the towering femme through the labyrinth of Nemesis’ mighty spark chamber. It was a beautiful thing, the warship's heart, a small sun glowing blue even in her stasis lock, beating low above the gangways the two walked along. “She tells me things, you know?”, Peacemaker brushed a shining claw against the glass spark, electricity crackling through the air, zipping along her cerulean frame, and in the impending glow, Soundwave almost lost her in the bloom. “Even in her state, she sees far more than even you”. Soundwave remained silent, unseen gaze locked on the sizable chunk at the core of the warship's heart. A piece of the Well of Allsparks, taller than he was and just as wide, and he felt the matching sliver at the center of his own spark cry out, trapped in its cage of steel and forever longing to be returned to its rightful place.

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[flesh-into--gear]

@rozecrest this was just easier but im so glad you liked it!

honestly you can't go wrong with any of his albums.

Purgatory is hilariously strong from start to finish and has these tracks which i love (i love the whole album but, in order)

I Swear (To God)

Feathered Indians

Tattoos

Purgatory

Universal Sound

Lady May

Live at Red Barn Radio I & II in absolute entirety tbh but the usual standouts are here

Shake the Frost

Deadman's Curve

Charleston Girl

Rock Salt and Nails

Follow You To Virgie (oof, about his mom, its a hard listen some days but FUCK its good.)

Bottles and Bibles

Country Squire was a mild style change-up, a little more honky-tonk. it's got some great tracks on it but it was also a mild writing departure for him as well, focusing a little more on country tropes and a LOT more tongue in cheek (the song Ever Lovin' Hand is a masturbation joke wrapped in a song about missing the person you love a lot). probably his weakest album? but:

Creeker

House Fire

Peace of Mind

All Your'n

Long Violent History is a kinda cool album, it's all instrumentals, old school holler jams and stuff. kinda hard to get into unless you're from that kinda thing i would assume? just reminds me of when i was a kid at thanksgiving and christmas back when we still spoke to my dad's side, and he and my uncles and one of my aunts would all get together and jam on some old gospel and bluegrass tunes. everybody brought instruments.... ah well. but i digress. you can take me out of the country but ill always be a big tomboy butch who gets a little too excited around jacked up trucks of a specific set of years, or the smell of gas and oil in the morning.

Can I Take My Hounds To Heaven i admittedly completely checked out on because i was deep in covid depression throes so i can't and won't comment because it won't be an accurate representation so.

Rustin' In The Rain I still haven't taken time to fully check out, as im working through a music backlog, but.

In Your Love is an incredible song and go watch the video because it cut me deep as fuck. i know a lot of people still stuck in those mines and i have friends with family members dying today because of coal companies. and im a trans woman from backwoods VA with all my roots in Appalachia from both sides (we had a handful of bootleggers in the family, explains a lot tbh). song hit me hard, in a good way.

anyway! im sorry! thank you for listening to me ramble about an artist i really enjoy! one of these days i should really just start a podcast called "Nobody Asked" and it's just me screaming into a microphone about stuff like this!

like dave matthews! like yeah i get it "ha ha dad rock" but come on!

Live at Radio City with Tim Reynolds is a fucking MONSTER album! and dave is a good guy! or at minimum is actually worthy of supporting because the dude has been doing activist things quietly and loudly for longer than ive been alive! and their music spans so many genres!

Eh Hee

Bartender

Still Water / Don't Drink The Water (back to back! they must be listened to together! please listen to this and Bartender off Live at Radio City)

#41

Two Step

Satellite

Some Devil

Grace Is Gone

and thats not even touching a fraction of this man's catalogue, he's been making music for forty something years

ahain im sorry i just really really love music and GAH theres so many artists from my chilhood and teen years and stuff that get so undeservedly swept under a rug because... i really don't know why. i feel like a lot of artists immediately get written off because of styles or genres or whatever and thats just so unfair and upsets ke geeatly.

that's not directed at you whatsoever rozecrest to be clear lmao sorry it may have come off that way

also anyone who has an interest in bluegrass/gospel go listen to The Seldom Scene's "Old Train" and "Live at the Cellar Door" in their entirety

[temporarymoods]

mwah

scatch what i said on that last post. idk her. im CHILLINGGGGG!!!

MarMon today: yes I celebrated. you gotta. duh. Patriot's Day-- a Mass thing!? Hilarious.

We went to the race and yelled and screamed and cheered on at various points. Walked a bunch. Got sunburnt in that shallow way, but my nose is pink. It was pretty emotional! So proud of everyone. Kept thinking that this is kind of one of the best things humanity can do. Anyway-- B)

Got sambas, lmfao?! Trying to look like a boy. Followed by some really good pasta. and then trying to look like a girl. i went to a frat! for the first time! i got champagne on my sambas. christened. the person who clocked me as queer at the party said "christened" after i had minutes prior. yeah. a good thing

- - i know the gender thing of it is ridiculous but for some reason my soft complicated body craves that sexual weirdness between men and women and particularly these young men and women in that..disgusting atmosphere. a disgusting atmosphere. really hungry for that generalization.. it's true. im really attracted to men

other than that^ being tough,

i went DANCINGGG!!!!!1!1!11!!11!!

and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!111!1

What a GREAT night!!! i can't put into words how amazing i feel even though that is why i came here...shucks. has the moment past? did i spend too much time on the queue?

My foot is sore as I type this. I came home so inspired and read up on country swing vs other kinds (I knew jazz swing was the thing, and swing dancin aint line dancin !) then i listened to a lot of good music:

Slow Dancing - Aly & AJ * total classic for me lmao. damn they have the best spotify top 5

Let's Get Married - Bill Elliot Swing Orchestra * when i didn't yet understand that i had to look up **country** swing music. now i know ;) god i cant wait to go again

-- what is it?! i think its that i really love to dance, to move my body, to try and get it right, to improve? to be good? to have fun in a choreographed way. to conform. the do the correct thing. idk

here's what i think its really about: i think i like smootheness. and i like the click of a phenomenon you can't pull a word for. and short counts. and intention. and shape. mostly shape. beat, sure, too. i like beat. i like rising to it, and not tiring. i dont know how i get so obsessed. i need to go back. that was exactly what ive been looking for for months, and what i thought i found but only got in part in the club, which i go to for the dancing, the loud music, the blindingness. but i dont contribute there. my ears are filled but the sound can only vibrate me a little. im not, swung, literally. and i cant provide energy to the space like you can witcha boots awn. so yeah, i think thats really it. dancing. i fucking love dancing. ive always fucking loved dancing. for real! really! i never got that good, yeah. but i fucking loved it thats for sure. i always wanted someone to actually teach me shit. they didnt do that enough in theatre. maybe they did. maybe i just wasnt that talented. not now though. dead. fucking. ass. just input my entire work calendar that i have access to because this shits getting real my life is mine and theres fan fucking tastic things to be doing with it.

alright...i could continue...i'll pick up the rest in my dairy ;* not gonna get too personal, phew. uhm. eh hem.

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Tequila - Dan + Shay

End of Beginning - Djo * lmao i got on this because i saw some interview w him online as im jamminggugghh i got sucked in. then all this happened:

Change - Djo * so much better than the one blowin up btw

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics, etc * i looked up more songs like Change :| hahaha. then all this happened:

Lifetime - Yves Tumor

Pop Song - Perfume Genius

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics, etc

Here Comes Your Man - Pixies

Eye in the Wall - Perfume Genius

Boys - Amen Dunes * at this point my original mission is fucked. the intention's gone. i'm so far from where i started: country lovin

at the same time the joint i rolled before we went out and shared on the way home is getting its way through my system for sure. its approaching 2am, woah! full day tomorrow but not nearly as inspired at this one. this one's literally how you're supposed to live . well maybe beer not getting stolen at the bar mmmm. mhm. yeah i'll tack that on as well.

i didnt, dont, want to let go of tonight skrrreorgihveouhv!!!! uuuummm! yeah i should keep thinking about it. : ) : ) hehehehehe

Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain

<3 , so much ;)

Kate

[mangoposts]

Sorry but I gotta rant!

To give context my friend is every spoiled and comes from money as where I don’t come from money. She’s the main reason I don’t like hanging out with people who are entitled and where money is never a question.

Unfortunately her dog passed away two days ago. All she told me was “Rylee’s gone” so I never assume that an animal or a person is dead when they use the phrase gone. I just assume they’re missing. So I got out of my bed even though I had just ordered Taco Bell and went to go look for Rylee. I searched for this over an hour in the rain couldn’t find her. I went back home and I started texting my friend again and she explained to me that the poor dog got hit by car. I made myself available for her that night that she needed a friend I was there.

I fell asleep last night. She texted me at 3:47 AM. So because I’m asleep, I did not answer. I woke up today at about one or 130, I saw that she texted me, but I didn’t answer because all the text said was, are you up?. I go to look at my Snapchat as I’m scrolling through stories I see that she has a story so I started looking through it. When I tell you, this bitch decided to be petty. “ I think Its hilarious how none of my “friends” have even bothered to check up on me since the passing of my dog two days ago.” so now it’s fuck you. Your shitty boyfriend can check up on you.

I get it it’s really not that deep but I have bend my back for this girl like every time she needed someone I was there. And when I need her she’s never there. But she’s also their friend where you can’t criticize her in a way that you help your friends. Like she cheated on her current boyfriend a few weeks ago and I told her that that’s really going to hurt a person and all she said was well. You gotta understand where I’m coming through like no bitch if you were so unhappy, you didn’t have to cheat.. her cheating was well. He pissed me off.

Sorry for the rant, but this girl makes me want to rip my hair off.

Fuck her and her dog LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO