#hihalexis

[becclaw]

❤☁♔●♬

Send ❤ for a loving text.

Text: Hi Alexis! I know this is kind of random, but well -- I sometimes feel like I must have gotten off to the wrong foot with you, and I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for whatever I did. I think you’re a really amazing person and I know you may never want to be my friend or anything but I’d love to at least be able to work with you on the Herald someday or something. 

Send ☁ for a hateful text.

Text: Did you see who spilled ink all over my copy of Pride and Prejudice in the common room last night? I left it there when I went to bad, and your’e one of the people who I know was still down there studying -- wow, I’m sorry, I’m so mad that I’m not making much sense. I’m not like, accusing you, I was just wondering if you saw who did it so I can hex them a little. Or just silently fume when they’re around for a week, at least!

Send ♔ for a admiring text.

Text: I just wanted to say that your article about Brittany in the Herald this week was beautifully written. I feel like I know her now, and if I’m being completely honest, I’ve never spoken to her before in my life. Fantastic work! I can’t wait to see what you write next

Send ● for a text that wasn’t meant for you.

Text: Oh, Austin, that’s really sweet that you want to do that, but I don’t know if I’m the best person to help you with a surprise for Alexis. I’m not sure she really likes me that much.

Send ♬ for a desperate text.

Text: Have you seen Professor Purvis today? I have this amazing idea for how to make a charm we’ve been experimenting with work, but I can’t find her and what if I forget before I see her again and Merlin, please just let me know where she is if you know!

text message memes.

[hogwartswirelessnetwork]

Would you guys call yourself shippers? If the answer is yes, what are your favorite ships in each year?

I would say I’m a shipper but I’d also say I’m a little sick of talking about ships! I usually don’t like canon and I’d prefer to crack ship instead. Besides, it’s not like ships go by year - I ship plenty of people who are in two different years. Here are a couple examples of ships that are both cracky and age difference instead: @urquhartofslytherin & @alexishaleclaw, @ameliapuff & @nostringschandler, @shawn-morse & @adamreadsthings.

I’d much rather think of myself as an anti-shipper. Lulu can love love all she wants, but I think you would all be better off worrying about your own lives than everyone else’s. With that said, though, maybe my co-host herself should date @brianpuff, or some equally happy Badger so she won’t spend so much time thinking about everyone else’s dating situation.

[hogwartswirelessnetwork]

Who in the castle most resemble the six main Riverdale characters?

Who are the main six? And why leave out the adorable side characters!

Archie Andrews: @vladthelion seems pretty torn between being good at quidditch and being good with his regular life. Hopefully he’s not having a gross affair with a professor. But if one of the teachers is being Grundy-esque, my bet is on Professor Bole.

Betty Cooper: Well, @finestmclaggen would fit because of her constant snooping, but @codeandchill is more Betty material. They’re both blond, kind of nerdy, and constantly making weird facial expressions. Plus they both to seem have the unrequited love thing down pat.

Veronica Lodge: I’m going to go with Aubrey Flint on this one. Came from elsewhere to take our castle by storm, looks flawless and commands people with just a look. She’s edgy and dangerous enough to be V, for sure.

Jughead Jones: Oh, I really shouldn’t have to say this about anyone. Everyone in this school is too good to be Jughead! But I guess @alexishaleclaw is also kind of dark-minded and wants to write. But that’s obviously where the resemblance stops.

Cheryl Blossom: Mean girl who commands the school with an iron fist? Sometimes shows a glimmer of heart? It’s obviously @zabinilegacy. Is there even any question?

Josie McCoy: Future rockstar with impossible self standards? Must be Leo Spinnet! @tara-goyle could also fit into this role given her pressure induced rage blackouts though.

@brianpuff would be Kevin Keller, Luke Dawson is obv Reggie Mantle, @urquhartofslytherin can be Jason Blossom, and @gavin-peakes can be Valerie Brown since they both have great hair.

I can’t believe I had to research this drivel for you all. I refuse to do the side characters like Lulu, because I frankly don’t care, but as for the leads:

Archie Andrews: @badgerjustin is a dead ringer, is he not? And he’s about as painfully mediocre, so I’d say it’s a good fit.

Betty Cooper: Though @ameliapuff is a dead ringer, I would have to give this dishonor to @andie-longbottom. She’s so ‘gee, darn, I’m adorable’ that she screams girl next door.

Veronica Lodge: If only @fabulousfawley had a bit  more class, she might be able to fit the part. Instead, though, I’ll say @greatestollivander. She looks the part and must be rich by now off of all of her family’s wands. 

Cheryl Blossom: Flora Fortescue may have the hair but that’s all she has. @lionsandkrum could fit the bill. She seems like she’d be interested in an incestuous relationship with her twin, after all.

Jughead Jones: Bit of a wanker, isn’t he? Maybe @creaturekidcaleb. He seems like he’d have a secret emo freak streak.

Josie McCoy: Who’s in Frog Choir? @nobodyputskelseyinthecorner? She did orchestrate that girl band a while back. Let’s give this honor to her.

[hogwartswirelessnetwork]

If Hogwarts were under siege today, who would step up as the new golden trio?

Most of the people who could be defined as a “trio” in this school have some kind of conflict going on under the surface – maybe not even that subtly. I mean, can you imagine @vladthelion, @andie-longbottom, and @lionsandkrum on the lam together? We’d find Andie’s body mangled in a field somewhere after a few weeks.I guess I don’t trust any three people in this castle to save me from an evil overlord, maybe Mira and I should just be big damn heroes.

I think @solcno and @ameliapuff might be off to a good start with their friendship forged by Dueling Club, but who would want to be their third? Would it be Austin’s best friend @alexishaleclaw, who pretends to be tough but is actually a damsel pretending not to be in distress? Or would they look to their fearless leader @scarletandgoldstein instead?

Of course, we could always just embrace certain death and let the fencing club trio of  @fabulousfawley, @finestmclaggen, and @duncanwhitby be our last hope instead. But I’d rather take my chances with the first batch. Wouldn’t you?

[becclaw]

@alexishaleclaw:

Oh, are you actually interested? By all means, go for it if you want to. We could use some more staff.

I mean, I’ve definitely thought about it. I’m always researching and writing for fun anyway, it seemed like it might be a good use of my time. Um, what’s the audition process?

[hogwartswirelessnetwork]

Who do you think is the most likely to hook up?

@creaturekidcaleb and @olivia–jordan. A hunch – and my powers of observation – tell me that there’s a certain someone that Olivia would like to make jealous, and Caleb is a boy. With eyes. And a penis. I can’t imagine him saying no.

Ew, Caleb would never betray his roomie like that! My money is on @solcno and @alexishaleclaw. I don’t exactly what a super Puff like Austin sees in Alexis, since she’s not the nicest person in the castle. But it seems like it’ll happen. Who knows though? Maybe @ameliapuff will surprise us all and win his heart.

[becclaw]

??►

texting meme:

Send me ?? for a strange/vague text

[text] If you were ever too busy to be in charge of the newspaper anymore, would your successor have to be someone who was already on the staff?[text] I mean, who would pick them? Would it be you or would it be someone on the faculty?[text] Just asking out of curiosity, of course. I’m sure there’s absolutely no one who would be afraid to be on the newspaper with you.

Send me ► for a text not meant for you

[text] I’m so confused??? I mean, I’ve been practicing charms with Austin for ages and I always thought that there was something going on between him and Alexis.[text] Or, you know, as much as can go on with someone who’s intimidating :o[text] But then I started noticing he hangs out with Amelia all the time, too, so maybe I was wrong?[text] OMG YOU’RE NOT KELSEY I’M SO SORRY!

[hogwartswirelessnetwork]

I'd say that Kelsey and Clara are getting closer to finding the culprit than Alexis.

Why do you sound shocked? @alexishaleclaw isn’t that intelligent, her father just bought her all of her privileges around this castle. It’s about time someone started proving it, even if those someones aren’t much better.

Uh, doesn’t her dad work for Magical Law Enforcement? I don’t think they pay enough for him to bribe Professor Flitwick. But I think that being super sleuths like @finestmclaggen and @nobodyputskelseyinthecorner sounds a lot more fun than just whining about how hard gathering sources is -- and that does seem to be all Alexis is doing.

[hogwartswirelessnetwork]

If someone else was going to run the Hogwarts Herald, who would you nominate?

I think that the fault lies not with @alexishaleclaw for not doing her job, but with the faculty of Hogwarts for allowing such mediocrity. I don’t know that anyone else would be better with such terrible mentorship, but if I had to guess, @urquhartofslytherin could get the job done. He could get any job done. Isn’t he dreamy?

Obviously it’d be Mei Burke! She’s sweet, smart, and would probably be a lot more productive.

[hogwartswirelessnetwork]

Do you think Alexis will ever write anything people actually want to read in the Hogwarts Herald?

That depends. If she managed to pull off an exposé about who stole those Ashwinder eggs and why they didn’t include me in their plans, I might pick up the Herald for once.

Mirasol is just kidding, guys! She obviously doesn’t want to blow up the school. Probably. But I for one have complete faith in Alexis to find out who stole the Ashwinder Eggs - and who made the painful love potion that caused me to think dear Mimi here was my soulmate for the better part of a week.

[becclaw]

Alice (ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง Alexis

Alice! She’s practically my sister from another mister with how close she and Jules are, how could I not pick @codeandchill?

Send me (ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง + two names and my muse will say which one they'd back in a fight.

[becclaw]

☁

Send ☁ for a hateful text.

✉  to Alexis→ I really appreciate you giving me a chance to write a story for the Herald, Alexis, but... Quidditch? I don’t know anything about Quidditch, it’s so boring! I mean, not boring for the people who are good at it, but I know nothing about it. I was just kind of hoping that if I ever got to write something, it could be, you know, something I’d be good at.

text message memes.