#highly highly recommend to literally everyone

[callmearcturus]

valonia47: IMO Dottie taught Ted avoidance and denial as the only allowed coping skills, which is how he ends up in England in the first place: avoiding the conflict and denying how bad his marriage has gotten. In that sense returning to Kansas is Ted breaking out of that and reconnecting with Henry on a regular basis instead of avoiding the inherent reminders of his relationship with his dad

two problems with this take, if you'll forgive my need to make a rebuttal.

ONE: Ted winding up in England because of conflict avoidance and denial is not how I read the situation at all. Hell, I don't think a man can move to another country without knowing things are bad, and every time he brings up Michelle, it's regarding the trouble in their marriage.

also, uh

given the entire fuckery with Dr. Jacob, I don't know if I actually agree at all with that take. Ted winds up in England because a pretty serious betrayal of trust.

this is one of the most interesting things the show does imo. like when Ted first talks about therapy and is dismissive/negative on it, I literally went "ah another otherwise progressive midwestern man who nonetheless doesn't like therapy" because bruh that's a thing for sure

and then ted tells sharon about his history of therapy and I was like "okay that's a little unusual but cmon ted you're better than this"

and then the fucking slap in the face happens and oh my fuck, Ted was right, he was manipulated by a fucking therapist holy shit, like all of his hesitations are entirely justified.

TWO: For Kansas to feel like a success for Ted, a LOT of shit would have needed to be done differently.

a. he needed to make the choice of his own volition, not because his mother pulled That Shit on him as punishment.

b. the show needed to actually show Kansas as living place that has support systems and people Ted loves. WHICH TO BE CLEAR: THE SHOW COULD HAVE DONE. fuck, if you want to read a fic that actually makes Ted moving back to Kansas make sense, I highly recommend Lafayette Goes To America, which I vouch for as a Missouri native is a loving and wonderful depiction of KCMO and why you'd want to live there.

c. why the fuck did they do that creepy fucking musical sting on the final shot of ted in kansas? i watched it with a friend who'd never seen the finale and they fucking gasped at it.

d. and this is a huge one for me is the trick each season with the opening/closing shots.

each season opens and closes on one character in a very deliberate move, like a reminder that you should be focusing on this person and the journey they've been on.

and it's not a necessarily positive journey.

with Rebecca, we watched her through season one transform from a hurt, vengeful, cruel person who was thrilled to ruin the lives of everyone around her if it helped her meet her goals into someone who finally recognized the gravity of their callousness.... but not before her actions led to the team being relegated.

with Nate, we watched him blossom as a tactician and strategist, and he winds up the head coach of West fucking Ham by the end..... but in the process, he loses everyone who supported him and he repeatedly fails to recreate those relationships in S3

with Ted, the show holds me down and kicks me repeatedly in the stomach until i admit i love a good tragedy I MEAN ted is successful, loved, respected, and supported by the people around him, he continues to work on himself in this place that he comes to adapt to and love... and instead of him asking "hey maybe i should review my custody arrangement and ask my son if he'd like to live here with me" he loses ALL OF THAT

there's this moment that makes the pain worse, this little (intentional? unintentional?) jab rebecca gives him. she begged this man to stay, offered to make him the best paid coach in the league, to personally assist in helping his family join him here, and he leaves.

it's a rejection. it's a rejection of richmond as meaningful, as people who love him, as his community and family. it hurts so fucking much.

none of them were worth trying for, ted? not rebecca, who held you tight when you had a panic attack? not trent, who detonated his career after shielding you from a press shitstorm? not roy, who came back to you and fucking quoted Jerry Maguire to your face, choosing to speak your language? fucking hell.

I blame Dottie for this, for how she looks at all the process Ted's made, resents it, and tears him back down. but the refutation of these people and their worth is part of the tragedy.

ANYWAY UH. I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE. SORRY.

[pastafossa]

Just fyi, Train to Busan is one of my absolute favorite horror films, and easily my favorite zombie genre film.

FOR REAL THOUGH, IT DESERVES MORE ATTENTION. As far as I'm concerned it's the best zombie film out there. It is literally perfect And for anyone who HASN'T seen it, SEVEN REASONS WHY TRAIN TO BUSAN IS PERFECT AND THE BEST ZOMBIE MOVIE:

Perfect storytelling - pacing and plotline are all flawless.

Perfect character growth - everyone's got a symbolic arc, everyone is fleshed out as a person (even that HORRIBLE BUSINESS GUY, he's at least Fleshed Out evil), everyone is well-developed. You genuinely grow attached to all of our main characters (except those two bad guys, fuck them).

Perfect characters in general SANG-HWA MY BELOVED including the kid, which is amazing since a lot of movies just make the kid character terrible. But she knocked it out of the park. Also I'm a major simp for Sang-Hwa, he's husband goals.

Perfect symbolism??? The themes on class! Busan being a refuge/safe haven during the Korean war! The way that, unlike a lot of American zombie films where the brutal On Your Own guy is generally right, here teamwork and sacrifice for one another is lauded, and it's the only reason the people at the end lived - because of the sacrifices of those that loved them. Do not let go of one another when things get bleak. The way they manage to retain their humanity is so moving.

Our lead protagonist seeing who he was on the way to becoming in the bad guy. MASTERCLASS MOMENT.

AMAZING SHOTS, THE FUCKING SHOT OF HTEM CHASINGHT E TRAIN OH MY GOD, THE ZOMBIE WAVE WHEN THEY ALL CRASH TOGETHER, THE ZOMBIES IN THE DARK I JUST

Literally never cried so hard watching a zombie movie wtf

Everyone who can tolerate bloody zombie stuff should see Train to Busan, it's a masterpiece.

[afterthelambs]

⚠️Spoilers for Look Back but I was initially confused about what Fujino and Kyomoto's relationship had to do with pursuing a career as a mangaka. After thinking about it, I interpret it as a narrative device to represent what will come when choosing to pursue art (of any form, whether it's comics, painting, animation, music, etc.).

Think about it, what's Kyomoto's role in the story? She is what got Fujino to take art seriously in middle school, and what motivated her to continue after she initially gave up. However, she's also the only thing in the story that makes Fujino wish she quit art. First, halfway through 6th grade and then later after her death. She serves as Fujino's motivator and de-motivator.

I think the scene of Fujino wishing that she never told Kyomoto to come out (that pursuing art only led to suffering) represents artists' regrets. We literally look back and see an alternate universe where Fujino never pursued art and it has a happier ending. Anyone that pursues artistic dreams will end up regretting it at some point. It's not easy, any artist will tell you that. The story is saying yes, you probably will end up healthier and more stable by giving up your dreams. Because art is suffering.

But then Fujino enters Kyomoto's room after reading the comic from the alternate reality and all of a sudden we get a montage of the happy memories and accomplishments they had pursuing their dreams together. And we realize that, everything we saw of them in the alternate 'happier' reality pales in comparison to this:

The happiest both of them look in that alternate world is when they finally meet and promise to work together someday. They loved art. They loved each other. Giving up on your dreams means missing out on all of that, and nothing in the world can replace it. Because yes art is suffering, but art is also joy and love.

And so the end of the story where Fujino goes back to work isn't her moving on. She tapes the comic strip in front of her to remind her of Kyomoto, to remind her of why she got into comics in the first place. Basically, Kyomoto IS art to Fujino. A life with her means experiencing both suffering and joy, while the life without her means having none of that.

I might be wrong about this, like maybe Fujimoto just wanted to tell a mangaka story with doomed yuri (valid) HOWEVER i like my interpretation so im sticking with it.

[benevolenterrancy]

May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home

[hekateinhell]

𝖍𝖊k𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖎𝖓𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖋𝖎𝖈 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙

— 𝖭𝖤𝖶𝖤𝖲𝖳 𝖳𝖮 𝖮𝖫𝖣𝖤𝖲𝖳 —

𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖉/𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙

𝔬𝔫𝔢-𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰:

Down Where The Church Bells Cry - 2.2k | Explicit

Post-canon AU: Lestat and Armand have a tender moment as spouses [cockwarming, mommy kink if you squint]

Mon Petit Chaton - 1.7k | Teen

Lestat thinks Armand would make the perfect pet, and he is right [collars, pet play, kink negotiation, fluff]

Tidal Sacrifice - 1.1k | Explicit

Mermaid AU: prompt response sequel to Beneath Your Shallows, Lestat comes with a gift [marking, biting, handjobs]

Beneath Your Shallows - 5k | Explicit

Mermaid AU: Lestat’s a runaway teenager in the 1770s searching for something better; he stumbles upon a fantastical sea creature that will take him for everything he has to offer [dubcon, the mussy, blowjobs, multiple and possibly forced orgasms, Lestat’s legendary fear boner]

Play The King - 2.8k | Mature

Armand and Lestat settle their differences the only way they know how [cnc, rough sex, canon-compliant]

Young, Sweet & Seventeen - 1.1k | Teen

Karaoke with the Vampire; set to Dancing Queen by ABBA [fluff, song lyrics, it says anon lol it’s me i’m anon i just don’t feel like de-anoning and triggering the subscription emails right now]

Insatiable An Appetite - 4.9k | Explicit

Human AU: Lestat's never had to work for it in the bedroom, for obvious reasons. It's starting to affect his personal life, so he hires sex worker Armand to show him a few tips and tricks to being a better lover [blowjobs, anal, the usual]

The Hand That Feeds - 4.5k | Mature

Lestat quite literally drops into Trinity Gate with an interesting proposition or two for Armand; it goes about as well as you’d expect [fluff, bath time]

Strangle of Vein - 3.7k | Explicit

Lestat finds Armand in a church where they have a little quarrel before proceeding to defile the church according [rough sex, makeup sex, canon-compliant]

Photograph - 3k | Mature

Lestat is going through it in adjusting to his royal duties, so to distract himself, he goes to the one person that's forced himself into his life from the very beginning [fluff, cross-dressing, feminization, heyyy baby’s first fic be nice! :D ]

𝔪𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔦-𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰:

Drop Dead Gorgeous - 5.4k | Explicit | Incomplete

Genderswap Human AU: Teacher’s Assistant Armand is obsessed with Lestat, the prettiest girl in their Gothic Horror class. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for Lestat, Armand is a tough grader [praise kink, spanking, squirting, vaginal fingering]

𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔩𝔢��𝔰/𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔰/𝔱𝔲𝔪𝔟𝔩𝔯 𝔢𝔵𝔠𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔰:

Les Mémoires de L'âme - 502 | Teen

Armand ensures Lestat dresses to his satisfaction [fluff, Lestat’s canonical degradation kink]

Ring Shopping - 496 | General

Lestat has a surprise for Armand [fluff]

Meet Cute - 323 | General

The true story of how Armand and Lestat met [fluff]

Wake Up - 543 | Teen

The year is 1962, and Armand is desperate for Lestat to awaken [angst]

𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔱 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰:

A Monstrous Intimacy - 2.9k | General - Explicit

A collection of four prompt responses: [blood shotgunning, getting caught in the act, rough sex gone too far + hurt/comfort, fluffy/angsty love confession]

𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖉/𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖊𝖑

𝔬𝔫𝔢-𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰:

King of Your Castle - 2.3k | Explicit

Devil’s Minion Era: Daniel's last mortal birthday; Armand finally gives him a gift he's been waiting for [angst, smut]

Your Favorite Innocence - 2k | Explicit

Devil’s Minion Era Genderswap AU: PWP [oral sex, squirting, canon-compliant]

𝔪𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔦-𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰:

Burden of My Days - 4.5k | Explicit | Incomplete

Reverse AU: Daniel is a vampire created in the 1970s, immediately abandoned by his maker to struggle and figure out vampirism for himself. Fifty years later, he meets a young college student in New York City [drama, angst, smut, fluff]

Obsession’s Easiest Prey - 3.8k | Mature | Incomplete

Human AU: Daniel Molloy is an investigative journalist in 1987, who vanishes after conducting a series of interviews with one Armand Ivanovich (aka The Baby-Face Killer) at New York’s infamous Sing Sing prison [dialogue and letter fic]

Our House - 22k | Explicit | Incomplete

Human AU: Armand announces he wants a baby, Daniel immediately flashes to all the million-and-one reasons why that may be a fucking terrible idea [drama, angst, smut, hurt/comfort, therapy, breeding kink, too many things to list]

𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔰/𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔰/𝔱𝔲𝔪𝔟𝔩𝔯 𝔢𝔵𝔠𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔰:

“Specimen” - 1.4k | Explicit

Human AU: Daniel works in a marine biology lab where little tentacled creature Armand is a captive specimen [micro/marco, fuck or die]

All My Colours - 606 | Teen

Devil’s Minion Era: Daniel doesn’t know what to do when Armand cries [hurt/comfort]

Fancy A Bite? - 1.4k | Mature

Human AU: Daniel is a barista, Armand is one of his regulars (who just happens to be blind) [drama, fluff]

Pornography with the Vampire - 1.8k | Mature

Devil’s Minion Era: Armand get it into his head to star in his own pornography film, Daniel is just along for the ride

𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔱 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰:

Shake The Disease - 12.3k | General - Explicit

A collection of ten prompt responses, the majority of which are set in the Devil’s Minion Era [drama, fluff, angst, smut]

𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖉/𝖑𝖔𝖚𝖎𝖘

𝔬𝔫𝔢-𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰:

Just Your Shadow - 1.1k | Mature

Louis puts Armand’s insecurities to rest [finger sucking, hurt/comfort, non canon-compliant sex]

My Sweetest Friend - 2k | Teen

A small snippet of Armand and Louis making things work at Trinity Gate [fluff, mild hurt/comfort]

Forever Young - 2.9k | Teen

Armand, Louis, and the baby girl found abandoned on the steps of Trinity Gate [family fic, fluff, drama]

𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔰/𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔰:

Amaranth Blooms - 200 | General

Armand tries to get in touch with Louis following Louis's suicide attempt in Merrick [hurt/comfort]

𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖉/𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙/𝖑𝖔𝖚𝖎𝖘

𝔬𝔫𝔢-𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰:

See Inside My Bones - 1.1k | Mature

Armand guides Louis through a knife play scene with Lestat [graphic knife play, S&M]

Exposed - 5.1k | Explicit

Human AU: Teenage delinquents Lestat and Armand are dating Louis together while navigating their own situationship, mostly Lestat/Armand but Louis is there in spirit the entire time (and on FaceTime) [blowjobs, exhibitionism, questionable tattoos]

𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔰/𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔰

Suspended in Dusk - 600 | Mature

Lestat adjusts to a new dynamic [mostly fluff and Lestat overthinking]

𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖉/𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙/𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖊𝖑

The Language of Flowers - 9.1k | Explicit

Lestat visits New York and gets more than he bargained for when Armand wants to try out his artistic talents on him — with Daniel's assistance, of course [voyeurism, exhibitionism, rimming, felching, size difference, canon-compliant sex and vampire tattoos!]

After Party - 1.2k | Explicit

Human AU: Armand overdoes it after a wild night out with Daniel and Lestat, and he needs just a bit of help to settle down [implied somno, dubcon, blowjobs, anal fingering]

𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖉/𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙/𝖑𝖔𝖚𝖎𝖘/𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖊𝖑

I Feel You - 2.8k | Explicit

Human AU: Armand just wants to be loved by all of his boyfriends on his birthday, at any cost [ftm trans!Armand, breeding kink, squirting, size difference, creampie]

𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕𝖘

Vienna - 1k | Mature

Armand/Viktor: Armand samples the forbidden de Lioncourt fruit

Blonds Do It Best - 1k | Explicit

Armand/Bianca - Human AU: Bianca remembers watching Armand get fucked by Lestat and decides she wants to try fucking him too [sexy flashbacks, strap-on negotiations]

A Rusted Essence - 905 | Mature

Armand/Denis: A short exploration into the tragic life cycle of Armand's human pets prior to 1973 [dead dove: did eat… oops]

(𝖓𝖔 𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕)

Devour The Young - 1.3k | Mature

Reverse AU: What if Claudia had been the adult vampire and Lestat the mortal child?

Make An Exception - 1.2k | Teen

Canon Divergence AU: Armand took care of Nicolas once upon a time, now it’s Lestat’s turn to repay the favor with Daniel [angst]

[bxriles]

Lmao okay wait. I got asked that question about Feyre/Bryce/Aelin and I went down a lil rabbit hole and somehow ended up on a subreddit of people arguing over who would win in a fight if it were Feyre vs. Aelin.

And I am CACKLING right now because it seems like the bulk of people on that thread think Aelin would win, and the people who think Feyre would win are SO. UPSET. Like they are BIG MAD that anyone would think Aelin would win hahahahahaha

I'm cackling. I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard omfg. People really do 100% project themselves onto Feyre. They really think they ARE Feyre!!!!! I'm crying. Send help I can't breathe 😂😂

[trappedinafantasy37]

ACT 3 was one hell of a ride and I have finally completed the Shadowheart origin run! Now it is time to finalized this story. If you have missed the previous updates, check out Act 1 and Act 2.

WARNING: this gets pretty long. Again, it's a story. Some things are gonna be a little bit out of character and involve my own headcanons as I try to fill in the gaps of what isn't directly said in the game.

THE CITY AWAITS

After a long walk from the Shadowlands with Isobel and Dame Aylin, Shadowheart and Minthara finally made it to the city of Baldur's Gate! Shadow can feel that she is on the precipice of many conflicts and so many things are about to be resolved. Unfortunately, she can also feel that many of those resolutions may require violence. She has only recently turned from Shar and still doesn't really know what it means to be a Selunite. Sure, she's taken some guidance from Isobel and Aylin, but their journey with Selune is not the same as hers. They were not brainwashed to hate Selune and all that is good with the world, they did not have their minds wiped over and over so that they can be molded and shaped into the perfect hate machine, and they were not actively tortured by their goddess every time they had dirty and naughty thoughts like empathy and compassion.

Breaking decades of religious indoctrination and countering everything that you have ever known is a difficult and arduous process and not one that is done over night. It isn't easy and it takes an incredible amount of effort. But, no matter how hard she tries, there are some thoughts in Shadow's head that pop up on their own, even if she no longer wants to have those thoughts. Every action she takes from here forward is a deliberate and conscious effort that she makes to not be the same person that she used to be. Unfortunately, Shar and Mother Superior have left deep and lasting scars within her, things that she will never be able to rid herself of. Even though she has turned a new leaf, made an internal vow to do better and be better, she will always have blood on her hands.

It has only been a few weeks of Shadow putting in this effort within herself and Minthara can see the changes. Minthara may not care too much for Shadow having a bleeding heart and wanting to do the "right thing" all of a sudden, but she can appreciate that Shadow is no longer pretending to be something she isn't.

And for a moment, Minthara herself begins to reflect on her own upbringing and the things she has been indoctrinated with. She starts to deconstruct her relationship with the gods and the influence that they should have in their lives, her place in society and where she feels she truly belongs, the importance of trust, and the desire for power. Minthara starts her own process of challenging all the things she's ever known, but unlike Shadow, she is not a blank slate. She does remember everything she's been through these past 200+ years and undoing all that experience isn't going to be so easy for her. Like Shadow, there are just some things even she cannot undo. And there are many things that she would prefer to hang on to.

The process of breaking their own indoctrination is a slow start for both of them. Even though they both recognize the toxicity of their upbringings and the marks it has left on them, neither of them is afraid or ashamed to leverage their teachings in a way that benefits them both. They are also not afraid to continue with their morally dubious actions if it means getting them closer to their goals. So, the two elves travel all around Baldur's Gate doing good while being evil. Some of the shenaninanigans they have been up to:

Settled a squabble between a rich guy and some squatters (they both "died under mysterious circumstances")

Went to the circus and got jumped scared by Orin.

Accidentally stumbled upon a murder mystery that turned into a much deeper conspiracy

Found some gnomes and got a bomb

Started a fight at the checkpoint in which those very gnomes came and saved them

Met Gortash. It would appear that shoddy inaugurations and spilling his evil bad guy plan in front of the entire city constitutes as amongst that minutia of death cult office politics that he's so busy with.

Saved Counsellor Florrick

Continued on their investigation into Bhaal and visited the murder tribunal, killed a sacrifice to get some wicked gear, and then killed Sarevok anyway cause, why not, they were already there.

Beat up a wizard and let Dame Aylin break his back so she can break her oath

Got involved with the Thieves Guild and the Stone Lord

Did a dirty deed for Ethel, but made a crucial ally

Blew up a foundry of slaves

TEAM MOMMY ISSUES

While on this journey of self healing and self reflection, Shadow has spent the entire time just trying to forget the cause of all her worries. But the ever-present wound on her hand that exists just to torment her serves as a reminder that she cannot forget, and she shouldn't. No, Shadow is tired of forgetting. She knows her parents are in the city somewhere and she needs to save them! She can still have the life that has been denied to her. And so, she returns to the House of Grief.

Everyone at the House has been expecting her, but they are not too pleased with her arrival. They are very well aware of her turning her back on Shar and retribution is upon her. Shadow has been through so much on her long journey and has grown incredibly power. But sitting on this bench across from her mother, she is reduced to nothing more than a scared child who knows she has disappointed her mother.

Minthara stands against the wall and watches this entire interaction unfold and for just a brief moment, she sees a reflection of herself within the half-elf. She too has learned plenty of hard lessons at the hands of her mother and she holds plenty of those lessons close to her heart. But there were some days in which she did not see any lesson in the scars her mother left on her, and it felt like nothing but torment for torments sake.

Traveling through the cloister, Shadow is reminded of all the things that she had to do. She learned how to be a good liar and how to pretend to be someone else. She also learned how to torture when it was necessary, how to force information out of people and make them embrace the pain. She does not recall the days in which she learned these lessons, but she has all the skills.

Confronting her mother and the cloister isn't an easy task, but it has to be done. Obviously, Mother Superior wants Shadow to hand over the Prism and she may be "forgiven". But Shadow has learned the hard way that Shar does not forgive and her mother is full of it. Standing on her own two feet, she defies the Mother Superior and the entire cloister turns against her. She does not want to kill anyone here, but she does not feel any sorrow for people that she does not remember. Fighting them all is incredibly difficult as there is twenty of them, and only two of the elves. But with the power granted to her by Selune, Shadow and Minthara are able to burn away the darkness.

Once in her life, Minthara admired Viconia for her rebellion against authority. But she was so naive back then. As she furthered into her career as a paladin of Lolth, she realized just how much of a coward Viconia was. If the former Priestess of Lolth was still in the Underdark while she was, it would have been Minthara's duty to hunt her down and kill her in Lolth's name. Right now, all she sees is a coward who has done nothing but wipe Shadow's mind, torment her and give her lessons in which she can't remember, and rob Shadow of the ability to form her own identity. Minthara takes it upon herself to end Viconia, not in Lolth's name, but Shadowheart's.

But, of course, things are not that easy. Nothing is ever easy. There is an even darker secret hidden in the cloister. The pain that Shadow has felt since the day she started her mission, is the curse that connects her to her parents. And Shar reminds Shadow that there is no escaping her, at least not without making a great sacrifice. There is great meaning to be found in pain, and Shar decides to leave Shadow with what she would prefer to find meaning with.

Her parents want her to let them go. They have seen their daughter once more, she is alive and healthy, in Selune's embrace, and has someone who adores her more than the world itself. Shadow does not want to let them go, she did not come all this way to let them go. If Shar is to damn them all, then they can get through it together. But the Hallowleafs do not want their daughter to suffer needlessly, and neither does Minthara.

To the drow, killing ones parents is an important rite of passage. A perfect method to usurp their place in society, and gain power and status. If Shadow had made a different choice with the Nightsong and not angered Shar, perhaps that would be true. But the option presented to the half-elf is eternal suffering, or freedom from Shar's poison. And Minthara does not want to watch Shadow suffer for the rest of their lives together, not when there is a real possibility for Shadow to be free.

Minthara encourages Shadow to kill her parents. Not because she wishes to see them dead, but because their death means that Shadow will be free to live as herself and without unnecessary suffering. Taking the advice of both her parents and her love, Shadow uses the power of Selune and sets them free. Their souls are no longer bound to the Lady of Loss and they return to Selune's embrace where they were meant to be. Shadow will never know who she was before the cloister, she will never know who Jenevelle Hallowleaf was or who she could have been. And she will have to live with the guilt of having tortured them, and the grief of having to kill them.

BLOODY VENGEANCE

Every night since meeting her at that circus, Minthara's mind has been swirling with the paranoia and terror that Orin was always close by. Walking down the streets of the city, her eyes would watch every single person around, trying to determine which of them was an impostor who is only there to trick her or hurt her or worse.

Walking down into the sewers, inching closer and closer to Orin, Minthara is filled with incredible doubts on whether or not she will survive the ordeal. This is the woman who "indoctrinated" her into the Cult of the Absolute, filling her mind with what are clearly lies. To make it worse, the shroud has been lifted and the memories she once believed to be pleasant dreams were nothing but nightmares in which she was robbed of all choice in the matter.

But right now, she has a choice. She has Shadow, someone she cares for deeply. Someone who has never hurt her, or lie to her, and made a promise to protect her, even from Orin. This time, she knows that what she feels for her cleric is real and nothing is compelling her to feel the way she does. Under normal circumstances, she would feel incredible pressure and terror at admitting this level of vulnerability. Especially when admitting love and affection has always awarded her with a new scar. Or worse, a dead lover. But it is either now or never and she tells Shadow that if they are to survive this fight with Orin, she wishes to remain by her side for the rest of their lives, because the bond they share is unbreakable one.

To make it all worse, Orin did not even speak to her, didn't even address her, pretended like she wasn't even there! She had held Minthara down in a cocoon of flesh, cutting her and torturing her for days. And she doesn't even get the honor of an acknowledgement? This iblith's mind games never end and she wants to further the torment by focusing on Shadow, making it clear that if Minthara doesn't act quickly and with decisiveness, her precious cleric will be turned into a sacrifice before Bhaal. And what then? What is Minthara going to do then? She will have lost her only reason for fighting and she will succumb to her fears and become susceptible to Orin's knives once more. She cannot let that happen. Not again. She's had enough of Orin's games.

And of course, the fight with Orin wasn't easy, it was never going to be easy. All of Minthara's greatest fears are culminated into one: the Slayer. In another life, Minthara would admire this type of power. No, she would revel in it! She would open her arms wide and embrace the incredible and exquisite creature that it is! Hells, she would have willingly embraced Orin if she had been given the choice.

Too bad this isn't that life and Orin, the Slayer, is nothing but another monstrosity that needs to be exterminated. Minthara cannot and does not care about how removed a crazed Bhaalspawn will be of great benefit to the living world. She does not care that Orin needs to die so that they may nab her Netherstone and get one step closer to the Absolute. No, Minthara wants to kill Orin solely out of vengeance. To right the wrongs that Orin had brought upon her. She is well past the point of mercy.

Even though Minthara herself personally delivered the killing blow and watched the Bhaalspawn dissolve into a puddle of viscera, she still has difficulty believing Orin is dead. But right now, she can't focus on that. Shadow does her best to try to comfort her through all this, but greater problems need to be addressed. Shadow has spent too much of her life repressing how she feels and running away from her true emotions and pretending she doesn't feel what she does. She is not oblivious to the fact that Minthara has an annoying habit of doing the same exact thing, and Shadow understands exactly why.

Later at camp, when they are both in a safe and secure place, Shadow asks Minthara to open up, tell her how she feels about Orin's death. Of course Minthara is glad Orin is dead, but she is not as satisfied as she thought she would be. There was never going to be a smite that would have been powerful enough to remove the scars that had been left on her. Shadow can sympathize. As much as she does not wish to see her paladin in pain, she knows that this is something Minthara will carry with her for the rest of her life. But in time, she will overcome it.

A NEW BEGINNING

With all the Netherstones gathered, it is now time to face the elder brain and deal with the Absolute. The two of them fight valiantly and fearlessly through the city and up to High Hall. With a Mind Flayer on their side, and a few powerful allies, the elves push through the burning city and all the nightmares conjured by the elder brain. This is a fight, not just for their lives, but the world. With the brain just about ready to break, it pleads for mercy, offering itself as a tool to be used and abused just so that it may live.

Of course Minthara still wants to take control of it. Her and Shadow can stand side by side as gods and make the world a perfect place. They will be equal to the others and gods like Shar and Lolth can never touch them again. And if they tried, then the two elves will have a much easier time fighting back.

But this isn't what Shadow wants. She understands Minthara's reasoning. The drow says it's all for the power, the control, the glory! But deep down, it's nothing but fear. The fear of being abandoned, the fear of being betrayed, the fear of her devotion being thrown back in her face and being punished with death. Shadow has felt it all herself. But becoming the problem will never be a viable solution. Shadow stood before Shar, defied her, and paid the price. She knows it is possible to fight back and live. And she is not going to allow Minthara to fall into a death spiral because she is too scared to walk a different path.

What could have been their crowning achievement crashes down into the ocean as Shadow asks the Emperor to destroy the brain. Minthara stands on the pier, watching as it drowns in the ocean. All that power, all that potential, wasted. But she is free. There is no longer a tadpole in her head, threatening to turn her into a mind flayer or a thrall. The Absolute cannot break her and Lolth cannot touch her. The decision may not have been hers to make, but she will appreciate the freedom of it all. It's not as if the Absolute was the only path to world domination, just the fastest and most convenient.

The two elves take a moment to catch their breaths and get some rest after saving the world. Being a savior is... new for Minthara. It's weird and something she never thought she would be considered. The people adore her and thank her in the streets every day. Perfect! They are priming themselves up to be easily manipulated later! The drow will be sure to leverage this affection.

The city is saved thanks to Shadow's singular decision. Of course she was worried about the fate of the world. She understands more than most to have your strings pulled by a domineering god, and she did not want to subjugate others to that same torment and anguish. She does not know if she will ever fully embrace Selune yet, but she will appreciate the fact that Selune has given her the ability to forge her own path. And Shadow will give the same to others, as well as Minthara.

Minthara doesn't miss a beat, nor does she lose her breath. She has accepted the loss of the Absolute and immediately moves on to scheming about how to take over the city from the shadows. All Shadow can do is roll her eyes and laugh. Her ambition, although sometimes self destructive, is just one of the many reasons Shadow fell in love with her.

The two of them have been awarded a lifetime together and Minthara wants to spend every single second of it with Shadow. She may want to rule the city, but she wants more to do whatever her cleric wants to do. Baldur's Gate, although her home, is nothing but a fragment of a memory Shadow will never get back. She wants to know more about Selune, find out what would have driven her parents to worship the moon goddess, and maybe find some meaning in the new divinity she channels. She wants to see the world and find a new purpose and find out who she wants to be now that she has the freedom to.

Of all the gods, Selune is probably the only one Minthara has no quarrel with. She wants Shadow to be free, and Selune will give that to her. Selune is the one who won't kill or abandon or torture her followers for every tiny mistake. She will allow Shadow to make the choices she wants, and won't punish her for them. Unlike Lolth, unlike Shar, unlike Bhaal, unlike the Absolute, Selune won't force her followers to be who they don't want to be, or do what they don't want to do. All she will do is guide them through the dark whenever they feel lost.

And so, without protest, Minthara marches alongside Shadowheart out of Baldur's Gate as they continue on their new journey of self-discovery.

Thank you very much for reading all of this, I know it was a lot. And I want to give a most special thanks to those who have followed me through all of this. I'm actually kind of sad that this run came to an end. But, it's not entirely over as I got a whole fic to write about it now and I'm kinda excited about it!

< Act 2 |

[wiklm]

hands u extremely basic albedo and rhinedottir art

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

If ur not careful I might have to watch torchwood… do u recommend or is it an affliction you would not recommend to others?

hehehehehe >:3c gottem boys

no fr like. you have to look past the fact it's a low budget bbc production at times and embrace the slightly see through lesbian alien with foot long fingers that can read minds. you have to embrace the sex alien that absorbs people through her pussy. crucially, you have to watch it in as few sittings as possible. the only proper way to watch torchwood is to watch the entire thing absolutely nonstop and nothing else in between until your brain falls out through your ears :)

[purpleshadow-star]

I'm finally listening to Alec Benjamin's newest album 12 Notes, and he really has me over here looking up the definitions of multiple words. Like your songs sound great, and the wordplay is immaculate, but unfortunately, I just don't know what conflagration means.

[twopoppies]

.

[squipedmew]

marble hornets, AKA: one man’s quest to get his prescription refilled

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

pride asks woo !!

12, 15, 25

and for 35:

how do you deal with frustrating people like homophobes and transphobes or people just being generally shitty towards the lgbtq+ community?

Answers under the cut!

12) Name some queer artists/bands or songs you like most:

Dog Park Dissidents!!!! June Henry!!! Against Me!! Fall Out Boy!!! I definitely recommend finding as much queer music as you can, it's incredibly impactful to engage with art that shares your experience.

15) How has your identity changed overtime?

Overtime the main change is just that I've gotten more comfortable gobbling up any labels I want haha. When I was a teenager I identified as Bi, and then later as Pan. I came out as trans when I was 14 and that hasn't changed, but to me it coexists with identifying as lesbian/sapphic/dyke. Oh reclaiming of dyke/faggot is also a more recent change. Relating to the point below!

25) What queer discourse frustrates you the most?

The thing is. Queer history has to be sought out, and so many young queer people (or older, sure!) don't really have context around queer community struggling together and being intertwined. Discourse that feels very on-paper to me such as transmascs and lesbians not sharing community, bi vs pan, or discourse that weaves in other kinds of oppression like cis gay men being transphobic/misogynistic/racist etc. is frustrating. Our struggles are all woven together, and so is our liberation. And so is everyones!! Seeing in fighting online about how to appeal to cishet people or who's allowed to use what terms or be in what spaces feels like we're going backwards sometimes. We have important things that can be learned from one another, we have overlapping experiences and battles, we have been called overlapping slurs, and we must help one another to get anywhere in this god damn world. Talk to queer people that are older than you, younger than you, live in different parts of the world than you. Read anything you can online or at the library about queer history. We're all in this thing together and you can disagree with someone and still be in community with them.

35) How do you deal with frustrating people like homophobes and transphobes or people just being generally shitty towards the lgbtq+ community?

If it's online block their ass. Some Marco lore is that a guy in highschool stalked me for about 7 years and posted details about me on 4chan including pictures of me and where I went to school and worked. Just because I'm trans. Block them. I do think there is some value in arguing online, to practice getting uncomfortable and to signal to others that there's someone on their side, but I wouldn't recommend it generally.

A lot of my answers here are going to intertwine, but the best thing I can recommend is a robust support system. Friends, family, coworkers, pets, therapists, etc. Having people who love you helps with emotional battles, and with physical safety.

[aturnoftheearth]

drove home with the moon looking like THIS between the fast moving clouds and i listened to vide noir the whole time and it was soooooo 😵‍💫😵‍💫

[sorio99]

I know “touching grass” is a meme, and probably has problematic implications, but literally, just going outside and chilling for a little while does wonders for my mood.

[wwwdotrickandmortydotcom]

my other blogs i told i was going into inpatient care bc i didnt want them to worry or think my blog was abandoned. you guys all zero of you im just tellin because i want to. i feel like i can tell you guys anything. anyone ever had any gay experiences theyd like to share