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#look back analysis
afterthelambs · 15 days
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⚠️Spoilers for Look Back but I was initially confused about what Fujino and Kyomoto's relationship had to do with pursuing a career as a mangaka. After thinking about it, I interpret it as a narrative device to represent what will come when choosing to pursue art (of any form, whether it's comics, painting, animation, music, etc.).
Think about it, what's Kyomoto's role in the story? She is what got Fujino to take art seriously in middle school, and what motivated her to continue after she initially gave up. However, she's also the only thing in the story that makes Fujino wish she quit art. First, halfway through 6th grade and then later after her death. She serves as Fujino's motivator and de-motivator.
I think the scene of Fujino wishing that she never told Kyomoto to come out (that pursuing art only led to suffering) represents artists' regrets. We literally look back and see an alternate universe where Fujino never pursued art and it has a happier ending. Anyone that pursues artistic dreams will end up regretting it at some point. It's not easy, any artist will tell you that. The story is saying yes, you probably will end up healthier and more stable by giving up your dreams. Because art is suffering.
But then Fujino enters Kyomoto's room after reading the comic from the alternate reality and all of a sudden we get a montage of the happy memories and accomplishments they had pursuing their dreams together. And we realize that, everything we saw of them in the alternate 'happier' reality pales in comparison to this:
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The happiest both of them look in that alternate world is when they finally meet and promise to work together someday. They loved art. They loved each other. Giving up on your dreams means missing out on all of that, and nothing in the world can replace it. Because yes art is suffering, but art is also joy and love.
And so the end of the story where Fujino goes back to work isn't her moving on. She tapes the comic strip in front of her to remind her of Kyomoto, to remind her of why she got into comics in the first place. Basically, Kyomoto IS art to Fujino. A life with her means experiencing both suffering and joy, while the life without her means having none of that.
I might be wrong about this, like maybe Fujimoto just wanted to tell a mangaka story with doomed yuri (valid) HOWEVER i like my interpretation so im sticking with it.
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2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered
Tommy's family arc
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courtmartialme · 1 year
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woag .. otp
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nothingbizzare · 7 months
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To be a sunflower looking at the sun
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madbard · 3 days
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While listening to Epic, I noticed an interesting pattern with how antagonists are portrayed, and how Odysseus’ interactions with them are coded.
In Epic, the monsters Odysseus faces are rarely fighting for their own sake. Polyphemus attacks Odysseus’ crew to avenge his sheep, and Poseidon destroys his ships as revenge for his son’s suffering. Similarly, Circe only threatens Odysseus to protect her nymphs. Odysseus does not kill any of these enemies, and while he is occasionally criticized for letting them go free, the overall implication is that he did the right thing by sparing them.
Then we hit the Thunder Saga, and Odysseus begins his arc as a ‘monster’ by killing the sirens. His actions here are brutal, and whether or not they are justified is, I think, up to the listener. However, it’s significant that the sirens are the first foes Odysseus faces on his journey who aren’t either defending or avenging what they love. They attack unprovoked, and while Odysseus’ method of execution is gory, he is never punished for it by other characters within the narrative. Apollo is the only one to protest, and even he is swayed easily when Athena says (among other things) that the sirens were “trying to do him worse.” The sirens attacked first, and while Odysseus’ response was ‘monstrous,’ his crew obeyed his commands and he was not challenged or ostracized for giving said commands. He is only treated as a monster when he yields to Scylla, who also attacked without provocation.
Thus, in Epic, the monsters fighting to protect or avenge their loved ones are protected by the very story - killing them may be more convenient, but it isn’t the answer. However, the monsters who attack without provocation, for their own amusement or satisfaction, do not receive such respect. Killing them is acceptable, and cooperating with them is monstrous.
By this logic, Odysseus is justified in his actions, however atrocious. He attacks to protect his family, and therefore deserves mercy.
The suitors, on the other hand…
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stopper-my-heart · 2 months
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This was going to be very short and cute but there was just too much cuteness so now it's going to be longer and cute. In this gif we have:
The tail end of Nick pushing Charlie off of him (which it took him longer to do than was strictly necessary).
Nick, in no hurry to get up, with his hands expecting and ready for more roughhousing (and his face showing happiness at the prospect).
Charlie noticing something and Nick - instead of doing the typical person response of looking towards whatever has caught his attention - just continuing to look at Charlie for a while.
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liillyliilly · 3 months
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I Need A Challenge
ushijima wakatoshi x reader words; 3804 synopsis; she writes a scathing review of ushijima's volleyball skills. how else should he respond if not by inviting her out to dinner?
She was tired of people like him. People who had no reason to be so stereotypically perfect. Everyone knows the type, comically good looking, is a prodigy in their one specific thing, acting so nonchalant that it ends up becoming their token personality trait. It was all so boring to her.
Which is why, as she was taking notes in the most recent Volleyball Nations League game, she wrote down some very harsh words for her analysis of star spiker Ushijima Wakatoshi. It was just the brutally honest truth of the world, she reasoned. Her editor, after reading the article she wrote at the game, almost dropped their jaw in shock at what she had written.
“This is really,” Editor Xhou sucked in some air through his teeth, “This is almost borderline libel material.”
She inspected her nails, shrugging as Xhou kept talking to her.
“I mean, you said that he is, and I quote from your own words, ‘Ushijima is the default setting for a volleyball player, there’s nothing too particularly unique’. You want me to let the paper publish this?” Xhou leans back into his office chair, pushing his glasses up and sighing.
“I write the truth, and the truth is that when Ushijima is on the court, you always know the exact plays he’ll make, the exact moves he’ll execute. The result is consistently the same. The games are too predictable when he plays.” She stands up from the seat opposite to Xhou.
Xhou sets the paper on his desk, checking that she really is okay with the article having her name attached to it.
A thumbs up is the only response she gives to her supervisor.
Xhou stamps the paper with his name, and faxes the documents to the coordinator putting together the sports magazine review for this issue. He wonders if the legal team is going to get involved again, he remembers the last player she reviewed, he was crushed and had to move to Alaska to play in a much smaller league. Xhou fully believes he’s going to get the magazine sued for letting her article fly.
Tendou finishes his squat set, hanging up the weights with a heave. Ushijima finishes his hundredth bicep curl, finally finishing his repetitions of this exercise.
Tendou pokes some fun, “I'm so sad for people without legs, they have to skip leg day.” He muses, trying to see what reaction or comment his best friend will make. Tendou twists and flexes in the full length mirrors lining the gym.
Ushijima only responds with a nod. He checks his phone, only to see that he’s received a little over four hundred notifications and counting. The beeping and noises start to pile up. Tendou peeks over Ushijima’s shoulder and gasps, he steals Ushijima’s phone away and immediately investigates what all the hustle and bustle could be related to.
“You should probably read this article, I think the writer has it out for your throat Wakatoshi.” Tendou grimaces while handing the phone back.
He skims the article, viewing the main talking points and major issues the author brings to light about his play style. His boring, everyday genius playstyle. He’s read criticisms of his volleyball skills before, but this one doesn’t seem too targeted solely about him, just using him as the mechanism to get a broader point across about the lack of challenges in volleyball recently. He chuckles at one of her comments, reading it aloud.
“Monster generation? I need a real challenge from these players, but all they’re giving me is platinum dreams without true passion and anger for the sport. I want them foaming at the mouth with new tricks, but I’m getting the same exact game over and over again.” Tendou cringes as Ushijima reads the words out loud. Ushijima stifles another chuckle.
Ushijima tucks his phone into his pocket, picking up his duffel bag. “I like her. She knows volleyball.”
It wasn’t just her comments, it was also the name of the author that Ushijima liked.
Tendou drops his water bottle in response to Ushijima’s behavior, stunned at the openness of amusement he has for the article and for the investment he has for this particular reporter.
Ushijima’s manager says that she’ll have a cease and desist letter issued to the paper for publishing such a slanderous piece. Ushijima proposes an entirely different solution.
She didn’t expect to be sitting at a restaurant, pencil and paper in hand, waiting for someone she just dragged through the mud to arrive so they could share a meal and an interview.
It was winter, and her reading glasses had fogged up slightly in the difference between the outdoors temperature and the warmth of the restaurant. The main features of the restaurant was the Western Style dining choices and decor, it reminded her almost of a hibachi place, but instead of Japanese food it was just a bunch of American and European dishes.
“It’s nice to see you again.” Ushijima pulls out his chair and settles into it, grabbing his glass of water so he can drink from it.
“High school seemed so long ago, but yes it is nice to see you again Wakatoshi. Sorry for the piece, your name just carries the right amount of importance to get my bigger points across.” She crosses her legs, setting her pencil behind her ear. The waiter comes around and takes their orders. He asks for the salmon, and she gets the house soup.
“No, I totally get it. But the statement about how people just continually eat up the single dish I serve? I thought you would’ve found a better analogy for my consistency on the court.” He just smiles at her, watching her move the pencil from behind her ear to her mouth so she could chew on it a little. One of her tells of when she was deeply thinking about how to respond to something.
Ushijima remembers all the stories she would write back in high school, ranging from sports analysis of Shiratorizawa clubs for her journalism extracurricular to getting paid to write love letters from person to person. She garnered enough money to pay for a new laptop and her entire wishlist of stationery items.
He remembers her lending him a pen once during class, it was a weightier metal pen. The ink was so black he was sure it was made of pure darkness. While he admired the pen she went into a rant talking about the pen itself, the quality of it and how it took forever to be delivered to her. They both got chastised by the teacher for having a side conversation and had to sit outside the classroom. But they ended up talking outside the classroom despite being told not to.
“Like you’d know what a good analogy looks like.” She hides her smirk behind a spoonful of soup. Ushijima appreciates her ability to be unapologetic, her honesty and bluntness matching his own linguistic traits.
They talk for three hours, about volleyball, life after high school, the article she wrote, about friends and the situations they found themselves in. Ushijima talks about Tendou and his chocolatier aspirations, she brings up Semi Eita’s new album that actually sounded truly alternative and unique.
He remembers her having a crush on Semi throughout high school. He didn’t really see why she would sit at their practices sometimes, just sighing wistfully, before freezing and turning flustered when Semi tried to make conversation like a normal person. But when Semi was seen to be a slight habitual complainer, she grew a distaste for him. Ushijima was sure that Semi was her longest crush, clocking in at around two months or so.
Ushijima did enjoy that she came to their practices sometimes, because then he could ask her about her pen collection and she would openly, loudly, and enthusiastically layer on every detail she could fit into her remarks. And she was someone who asked him about his favorite things, primarily volleyball but also about reading the advertisements in the Weekly Shonen Jump Magazine. Or about how good a runner’s high could feel sometimes.
Around her, he could share without fear of being misunderstood. She just accepted what she heard, and then analyzed it, taking her time and asking clarifying questions. He did his best to emulate her mannerisms and tact within their conversations, usually failing, but she didn’t mind.
She did openly declare an aversion for him throughout high school, that genius powerhouses should never be entertained with acknowledgement. What others considered harsh from her was almost like beaming encouragement for him. It was like she was telling him, if he didn’t continually improve and advance then the stagnation would leave him in the dust. A push in the right direction was more accurate of why she would say what she did about him.
He takes the bill from her, puts his gold debit card on the clipboard, and returns it to the waiter before she can even open her purse. Rolling her eyes, she sets some bills on the table and slides it over to him. Glaring at him until he accepts the cash and puts the bills into his wallet.
“Are you dating anyone right now?” Ushijima inquires while they walk down the street to get to the train station. The night air leaves a chill around the two of them. He had his hands tucked into his pockets, and she had her arms folded over her body.
Snow falls from the sky, catching the lights and making streaks of color burst in small flickers like fireflies. The piled up snow in the roads hadn’t yet been plowed thoroughly, and wasn’t sullied with pollution that made it yellow and black. The snow was much more like a blanket.
“Listen, I’m what people consider easy to love but hard to please. Most people say they felt like they were never enough for me when we were dating.” She bites on her bottom lip a little. It’s a confusing feeling to be unnerved by him, and she feels even more uneasy when she realizes that she’s speaking too openly. “I don’t intentionally degrade those I date, I just, I have high expectations. I don’t give many second chances.”
His breath comes out in puffs of white, winter nipping at his nose which makes him feel uncomfortable. He wonders if she’s as cold as him. He knew that she had high expectations, none of the boys at their high school got remotely close to being romantically involved with her. She wanted more than what most people could offer. She wanted someone who was as open as her.
She feels a little guilty about her article now. Maybe she pushed the words a little too much on his bad qualities. Ushijima really wasn’t that bad, he was just dependable and rational, which crafted his playstyle of being an ultimate pillar of strength for a team. Why shouldn’t a team go with the most reliable way of scoring points? Then she shooed the thought. If volleyball wanted to keep being popular, it needed to evolve.
“I liked your article a lot.” He offers, segwaying the conversation, knowing her thoughts better than she knew them. “Power goes far, but even then, there’s ceilings that need to be broken. There’s talents that need to be unearthed, planted, and then allowed to bloom.”
They sit on the bench under the covering for the train station. The screen shows that the train she needs to take will come in around ten minutes.
“Thanks. My editor was worried you were going to sue me for what I wrote.” She laughs a little, rubbing her hands against her thighs to build up some lingering heat in her hands and her body.
He passes her his gloves from his jacket pocket. Making a small hum he waves them in front of her. She accepts and embraces the black fleece covering her fingers.
“Oh, no, there’s no way I’d want you to be sued. But I do want you to add another part to the article.” He blows some air onto his hands, rubbing them together. She raises an eyebrow inquisitively, turning towards him on the bench.
Once he had finished reading her piece on Ushijima’s game, he went through and read all her other articles. He found out her favorite current player was actually Hinata Shouyou, the energetic innovator. She had written about his unique approach, due to natural athleticism. Also about his experience in Brazilian beach volleyball making his defense skills unique in the field of both Japanese volleyball and on a global scale. It was all about Hinata this, Hinata that. But could the ultimate decoy ever compare to the pillar of strength?
“What do you want me to change? I can’t make any promises.”
“Say I’m your number one, because I don’t do last place.” Ushijima lifted her chin up, looking right into her eyes. He inspects her face, the small miniscule motions her features display show that she’s listening, actively listening. “Did I ever mention that you’re the only one that has my attention?”
She really was. The only reporter he cared to give quotes to after big games, the only girl who he ever wondered if there was any possibility to develop a relationship with. He was hooked on every word she wrote, every interview she hosted online. She was in his world, but never overlapped her social circle with his for longer than an hour at best.
She swallows thickly, “I’m sorry to say this, but I really am unimpressed by your playstyle.”
He raises an eyebrow, sliding his hand from her chin to the side of her neck. He can feel the way her pulse is racing under her skin.
“We both know that’s not true.”
Her train arrived. She ducked under his hand and made her way onto the train. Before the sliding door closes, she motions him closer so she doesn't have to yell.
“Then show me your talents. I need a challenger for my first place.”
Tendou lies on his stomach on the floor, Ushijima is reviewing some plays written by his coach. He scans for any play that could show off his left hand spikes, or any play that he could try and improvise a receive if he wasn’t on the front row rotation. The plays are different from what he’s used to. But his coach said that they were all optional, and that Ushijima’s playstyle was perfectly fine as it was. But ‘fine as is’ doesn’t earn him any accolades in her book.
Tendou perks up, “I always felt like fighting had romantic undertones.” He references what Ushijima had told him about how the dinner with his reporter went last week.
“But I don’t want to fight her? I’d hardly call a slight disagreement a fight.” Ushijima sets aside the packet he had been studying.
He opens his phone and refreshes the webpage for the newspaper she worked for. When nothing pops up under her name, he goes to the calendar page to see if she’d be attending an upcoming game he’d be playing in. He sets his phone aside when he realizes she will in fact be in attendance.
“But you do want to fight for her ‘first place’ hottie player ranking.” Tendou kicks his feet in the air, crossing his feet and tapping the top of his head.
Ushijima stands up and goes to check his closet, seeing if he needs to get a tighter jersey for the upcoming game. “She never used the word ‘hottie’ when talking about her favorite player.”
“So you admit that you do want to be her favorite player?”
Ushijima finishes trying on the jersey over his long sleeve compression shirt, the jersey fitted better than he remembered. He tugs on the front of the uniform. Then what Tendou said clicks for him.
Ushijima blinks, “I do want to be her favorite player.” He doesn’t see why he would deny that observation. Being her favorite player would be the ideal situation for him.
Tendou rolls over onto his back and wiggles his pointer fingers in the air, “You want to be more than just her favorite player.” He sings the words in a teasing manner.
“Maybe I do.”
One time, near the end of high school, she was talking during lunch. Her friends were uninterested, wanting to discuss boys or homework instead of her critical worldview analysis. Her table was right next to the table that Ushijima and Tendou were sitting at, their volleyball friends already outside tossing around a ball.
Ushijima listened in, drinking his milk while Tendou ate chicken nuggets. When her voice got quieter, almost to the point of fading out entirely due to her slowly realizing her friends were not as interested in the conversation as she was, Ushijima leaned in subconsciously, trying to catch her words.
Tendou pinched Ushijima, telling him that if he wanted to listen to her, he should ask her to come sit with them. Ushijima froze. So Tendou invited her to come sit with them. Placing her lunch tray down, she ate a carrot, sensing Ushijima’s hesitance and Tendou’s eagerness.
It was Ushijima that spoke first, “Keep going. You remind me of someone. He said almost the same thing, about his worthless pride and not forgetting about it.”
She brightens. Continuing her dissection of the value of pride, she refers to Ushijima as a reference point for pride. Using him in her examples and demonstrations of her illustrative examples. Around the third time she says his family name, he makes another request.
“You can just call me Wakatoshi.”
Tendou drops his chicken nugget, but quickly regains his pace in eating the arms off the dinosaurs.
She says his name, once and then twice. Letting it settle onto her tongue and leave a trace of what a first name basis could mean. Pondering on that instead of her newest philosophy interest is quickly dropped. She only ever calls him by his name from then on.
Needless to say, the next game he plays at, she’s there, with her notepad and pen. Each receive, hit, serve, and toss is carefully recorded on her paper.
He doesn’t do anything too off the typical, but he does try new things his coach had mentioned. Pressuring an opponent’s highest scorer more, trying a few block kills when he’s in the right rotation, scoring some points off the tip of the blockers hands instead of cutting right through their attempts to defend. He’s more tired after this game than his last one. Yet, he had more fun this time around. His teammates seemed thrilled with the results of never having a gap less than five points.
After the game, before he goes to the locker room to debrief with the team and change into regular clothes, he stalks his way over to her. She’s talking to another reporter that had been sitting in the media section, but the other reporter just elbows her lightly when he notices Ushijima making an attempt to approach. The other man slowly walks away, bidding her a farewell.
She’s still sitting on the bench, cheekily covering her notes with her hand, and writing something down. When he takes a place next to her, he spreads his legs a little, expanding his presence and bumping their thighs into each other. She initially retracts from the touch, but relaxes into it.
He’s aware that his body is thinly sheened with sweat. It drips from the hair at his nape down his back and soaks into his player kit. She brings her notepad up to her face, looking at him over the spiral binding of the paper. Trying to hide her comments and analysis of the game, which had been overwhelmingly positive for Ushijima.
“What’s your professional opinion of the game?” He uses a finger to push down her notepad that was covering her nose. A streak of ink and pencil lead was across her cheek and nose. He brought his thumb up and wiped away the markings. At first swipe, nothing moved, so he slid his thumb over again with just a little more pressure.
“It was entertaining in a different sense. Rather than being solely athletic entertainment.” She licks her own thumb and finishes wiping away all the marks that she could feel him trying to get rid of. She misses a sliver on the apple of her cheek but he doesn’t say anything, enjoying the way that it makes her seem less intimidating and more adorable.
“Care to share with the class?”
“Well, when a certain player keeps trying to make eye contact during the game, when he should instead be invested in the game, it does pose some interesting investigative questions.”
At this point, Ushijima slid his hand to her thigh, asking her to explain further, “Such as?”
“When will he get up the nerve to ask her on a date? Will he take her for a ride in that brand new car he got? Does he need glasses from how frequently it seemed he scrutinized the audience in search of her?” She pauses, then continues, “And will he be mad if she writes something about how attentive the setter was during the game?”
“Soon, for the date. Most definitely a long car ride to the mountains. His vision is actually perfectly 20/20, he just wanted to make sure she was having a good time by observing her reactions. No comments for the setter, he’s a rookie, and much less attentive than an older, more experienced player.”
She hums a little in regards to his answers to her inquiries. Soon, she tugs on the back of his hand, the hand that was resting on her thigh. She bites the cap off her pen, waving the pen in the air, close enough to his skin for him to understand the point of what she was communicating.
The pen tickled the skin of his hand, but he liked the way she put one hand under his to make his hand rest flat so she could write her piece on his body. Capping the pen back up, she tucked it behind her ear.
Written on his hand was a series of numbers, along with a small doodle of a volleyball.
Getting up from her spot on the media bench, she leaves him with a short statement.
“I liked your response to my challenge. Keep making the Monster Generation bloom with each game Wakatoshi.” She halts for a moment, then turns back to him, “You can be my number one on those conditions. Blooming the Monsters and responding to my challenges.”
He’d return every challenge she gave him if it meant he could be hers.
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chilfucked · 1 month
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I'm thinkin abt when chilchuck does that cat thing where he looks up at you, like in your header, how he bares his neck by doin that, and how awesome it is that he feels safe enough with the touden party to do that so casually- rghhrgrhhr
dude i think about this all the fucking time. he’s such an expressive character it’s awesome. you can always tell what’s going on with him just by observing his body language
beginning of the series? before everything goes down? he’s open, relaxed. he’s really started to trust the people around again after years of not letting himself
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you have him closing himself off after The Incident™️, his anger and frustration, and generally not feeling safe being on full display without needing to say anything
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he closes off when he’s worried, scared, or being protective of the people around him
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and he opens back up again once he starts getting comfortable with everyone again
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i just. i love him so much, i love how no matter how hard he tries to keep people at bay. keep things to himself. he just. can’t. he’s an open book and boy howdy am i reading it
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Let Penelope be a loser guys come one. "Why was she asking him to kiss her?" "Why was she the desperate one?" "Why didn't she make him work for it-" Because she likes him!!!!
Because pretty much any time not spent around Colin in episode 1&2 she's unhappy. Because he was being kind and she was relaxing around him and enjoying herself and doing well talking to people, because she's liked this boy for years and never truly gave up on him even when everything practical told her too. Because she was finally dressing the way she wanted and making a plan to get away from her family and it was actually working, she was genuinely desirable and a viable option, for once everything is going right and she also has Colin even if not the way the romantic side of her would hope, and then it all goes to absolute shit.
Suddenly she's an embarrassment and unwanted and the chance of marriage or escape or freedom has gone from slim to none, suddenly any respect or desirability she had is gone, and all because of the connection that has made her the most happy, all because people found out about Colin and his kindness and suddenly it all feels silly and desperate and like the childish dream of a 'sad, stupid girl'. Suddenly everything is ruined and she is once again a laughing stock. And she then had to go home and write about it, putting the nail in her own fucking coffin.
Because she is miserable and lonely and a young girl yearning to be loved. Because all of a sudden Colin is in her garden bribing her maid to get her alone, suddenly she's reminded that someone dose care, someone dose want her, someone dose hear and listen to her, someone still see's her as worthy of love even if (as she thinks) there is no possible way it could be the same kind. And that someone is the kind, handsome boy she's liked since she was a child. Someone she trusts, and it gave her just enough hope to try.
She asks him to kiss her because she wanted that one moment, that one memory of love and passion and intimacy with the boy she loves after having any hope of more from anyone completely dashed. She never wanted or asked Colin to grovel or beg, she just wanted an apology and she got one it literally didn't need to be more than that. He was on his knees in that damn carriage professing his love and need of her, dreaming of kissing her in a garden literally less then twelve hours after this and interrupting her dances to stop a proposal, he's a fucking loser (said with love), they both are. Let the girl ask for a kiss when she's yearning and upset and in love with her close friend god damn it.
Edit: this was like half a joke um but yeah more serious expansion here lol.
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starcurtain · 5 days
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Hello! Wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed your analysis on Aventurine’s theming - and yea big agree that part of the charm of the guy is that he’s a weird paradox (he got everything one should technically want, and he also lost absolutely everything he cares about) - and also I like your comment that he is, as a character, actually pretty obnoxious (it’s an odd character charm point to me)
Also your post on the way he interacts with the ladies in the cast kinda reminded me - I know folks tend to focus in Ratio’s note but I ended up zoning in on his convo with Acheron more than anything else - because a lot of Penacony is Aven butting heads with other aeon-touched people (Acheron, Sunday) - but Acheron seems like a fun foil because she also has a pretty double-edged metaphysical blessing that is associated with losing everything she loved, but she ironically hasn’t given in to full meaninglessness.
I think one of Aventurine's defining character traits is that he "tests" everyone he encounters to judge whether they are trustworthy or whether they are a danger to him (I guarantee you, he has some kind of mental ranking scale for how likely people are to dislike or mistreat him), and I think his being obnoxious is actually a direct offshoot of this.
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Kakavasha clearly was raised with manners; he knows how to be polite and to tone down his responses to social situations as appropriate, which means that, in every other scenario, he is actively choosing to be obnoxious, even in situations where it seemingly won't benefit him (like talking back to the slave master or being too forward when first meeting Sunday, for example) because it allows him to gauge exactly how others feel about him and exactly how much they will let him get away with.
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People who play along are potential allies (Robin, the Trailblazer) and people who act grumpy but actually tolerate the obnoxiousness are safe (Ratio, Sparkle, most of the rest of the Express Crew), while people who respond poorly (Sunday, basically everyone else Aventurine dealt with in the past, etc.) are forced into showing their true colors. If minor obnoxious behaviors can provoke them, then it means their core response to Aventurine is likely to be one of dislike and disrespect. He's just forcing that response from them out into the light sooner, rather than later, by being obnoxious from the get-go.
(And, to a certain extent, I think he also just finds it fun to be a bit obnoxious. Like, he's free to say and do whatever he wants now--who is going to stop him from being a brat if that's what he feels like doing?)
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But on to Acheron... Yes, I do think there are a lot of parallels between Acheron and Aventurine (came from a doomed people, lost everyone, both determined to hold out against nihility and live just for the sake of living, "blessed" by aeons), but I think narratively speaking, the story puts Acheron in a different position when her tale entangles with Aventurine's: the surrogate big sister role.
Acheron's a very good parallel to Aventurine's sister in numerous ways: First, she essentially sacrificed herself to defeat the evil threatening her people, but is ultimately unsuccessful, resulting in the permanent loss of all she knew.
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This loss also resulted in Aventurine's sister actually dying, while Raiden Mei experienced a symbolic death, taking on the name "Acheron" to evoke the Underworld, getting a ghostly, bleached white form, and prowling the river of nihility like a wandering spirit of the dead.
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Second, the philosophy Acheron espouses is nearly identical to Aventurine's sister. When even as a child Kakavasha was doubting the value and meaning of life, his sister was the one constantly reaffirming that life has meaning, despite its hardships, and that continuing to exist is the way to honor those who have sacrificed for you. Just as Aventurine's sister expresses that people must hold on to faith, Acheron reminds everyone she encounters to cling to the last bit of color and light in their lives.
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This ends up being echoed by the role of guidance that she plays for Aventurine, with him both directly relying on her for his continued survival:
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And turning to her in his moment of greatest emotional need:
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(Sound familiar? It should. This is the exact same question Kakavasha once asked his sister.)
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But there's also a very, very nice visual parallel that goes on with Acheron and Aventurine's sister: the dusk rain that accompanies her.
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For Aventurine, the rain has complicated emotional connotations. For the Avgin, it was desperately needed, life-giving water, and thus was considered a direct blessing from Gaiathra. Rain on Aventurine's birthday was the sign of his being favored by the aeon, and yet it also rained on the day he lost everything and had to flee from the only home he had ever known (conveniently also his birthday, dude this guy's life sucks).
Meanwhile, the rain for Acheron is equally complex--rain can bring life, the renewal of barren, lifeless lands... But we also see the rain accompany Acheron through her worst loss, the final collapse of her planet:
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It also is said to rain constantly within the shadow of nihility, a lightless gray that washes away all that people wish to cling to.
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For both Acheron and Aventurine's sister, the rain accompanies the end of their "lives," the backdrop to their ultimate sacrifices.
Yet it is also in the rain that they both send Aventurine onward, escaping from the cage of his destiny into a "better" life. From beneath the shadow of the storm, they both bid him to go and not turn back, freeing him and permanently changing the course of his life.
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The rain that took everything from both Aventurine's sister and Acheron is ultimately what saves him.
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It's all a very tidy and well-written parallel.
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mikesbasementbeets · 1 year
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What can I say? They're my favorite.
#twdg#twdg clouis#clouis#twdg clementine#twdg louis#sometimes they creep back into my mind and i'm like 'ah yes' like a crow admiring a pretty stone they found years ago and kept#also thank you pi for the screenshots. i used to have a whole folder full of them but that was when i was doing themed nights#the source for these is me i just have a random document full of dynamics and ship things i enjoy because.....i dunno i like keeping track#and so many of them apply to clouis but there's also an overlap of with clouis and rose/alistair [my warden from origins and alistair] like#alistair's romance route is like an evolved matured and extended version of clouis sksksks gee i wonder if i have a type#look you present me with a character who deflects with humor and isn't taken seriously by the rest of the group and the longer you know the#the more you realize how high they've built a wall around themselves and how *unwell* they really are and how they're not as sunshine#as they present themselves and also they avoid leadership and responsibility until they grow closer with someone who pushes them#and they end stronger and more balanced as a person while finding the affection they've craved#and also there's the daddy issues#present me with that character as a romantic option and i'm in no questions asked okay i don't want the mean broody one that's meh to me#i want the one that has every reason to be broody but chooses not to be because they have a completely different defense mechanism#and a warped sense of themselves and self-esteem issues they leave unaddressed until forced to face them#i'm just saying i'm aware that i have a type i'm always going to gravitate toward clouis nearly checks all the boxes#also the lack of clouis these days? my crops are thirsty and i have too many ongoing projects to do anything about it other than this sksks#so until i make time to finish my long ass louis/clouis analysis this is the best i can provide for now
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red-moon-at-night · 1 year
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I find it so SO interesting that as soon as Kazui's breaking their marriage vows and revealing his true feelings (literally tearing apart the dove), the wife is already falling off the balcony
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Her hair is fluttering in the wind. The apple fucking splatters on the ground this whole sequence is so visceral I'm spinning it around in my mind. Kazui views his truth telling as a violent act, the killing blow.
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angelmachines · 8 months
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teru & socialization
i've posted about this before but something ive been thinking about a LOT is mp100's themes of loneliness (and eventual connections). i think this is an aspect of teru's character (in particular) that gets left out because it's not as explicit but i've been wanting to do a deep dive on it for a while and i finally sat down to do it. just a warning, this post is gonna be LONG.
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these two panels are from chapter 16 of the manga (which i'm using for my evidence because i. dont want to scrub through the anime LOL). initial sentiment: teru uses his powers to cheat having friends/a good social life and wouldn't have that if he tried earnestly. this is a fair interpretation of the scene. with what we know, at this point of time (as in within the teru-mob fight) teru would not be able to connect with other people earnestly, due to his mindset. which i think is a fair interpretation, HOWEVER:
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(from chapter 17 ^^) the first panel shows teru's expression to be strained and the second is visibly unhappy. this puts the first set of panels into a different context, that maybe underneath all of this, teru doesn't WANT any of this life that he's built. keep in mind that i'm analyzing this with teru's possible autistic tendencies in mind & you dont have to believe he's autistic, im not your dad, but i do find this a pretty meaningful indication of masking if he were
(note: yes, the strain can definitely be read as comp-het, and i would agree but that's not relevant so go read this post on that instead)
even if the rest of these panels show teru content with his life, i think these expressions are pretty vital to how we read his life especially because we know so little of it. think about it, if you were a kid desperate for affection because you couldn't get it anywhere else, especially not in a way that would come off as "mature" or "unaffected", wouldn't you also look for validation in your popularity? even if it aligned you with people who you consider fundamentally different to you? my point here is that teru can't not stand out-- it's in his nature-- and we are shown how he tries to blend in & receive attention in the only way possible to him; which is to say that he molds himself into something that is palatable, likeable, and superior to other people. if he's nothing, like mob, he has spent his entire life covering up for it. if he fails socially, like mob, he has to be good at everything (even if he cheats to do so) so that everyone else can look past it.
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(side note for my teru angst enjoyers: this is a panel of his mom. the mom who he hasn't seen in years. doesn't it make sense that, if he hasn't heard his mom say he's proud of him for literal years, that he would overachieve in response? not related to the autism thing i just have the teru bug. also don't be misogynistic in my notes both his parents suck we just get a singular mention of his mom)
so if teru couldn't meaningfully have friends before mob, that could very easily be because of his past mindset, right?
...except, we don't.. really... see him make other friends afterwards.
but, the awakening lab, right?
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(ok i lied to you sorry there is one anime screenshot and thats because it stood out to me while i rewatched it earlier this month. sorry.) id like to bring attention to this screenshot during the cultural festival because the awakening lab can definitely be seen as a direct contradiction of this and i'd like to point out a couple things:
1) in this scene the shiratori brothers are in another room 2) them and the other three are friends with ritsu (or at least close enough acquaintances to want to see him).
considering this is one of the only times they appear together for Fun i am more inclined to believe this is an encounter where they went together because they all would've gone separately anyway. this isn't to discount the possible bond that these characters might have, but thats the thing. we... aren't really shown that they're friends and enjoy spending time together outside of this screenshot, where two out of six of the members are not even present. not to mention that teru is still placing himself in a role separate from his peers. despite stripping the superiority away, teru is still the awakening lab's mentor, not friend. teru still views himself as fundamentally different in a context where his psychic powers don't make him that way.
...except with mob. i bring this placement of power up because where he is the awakening lab's mentor, teru declares mob to be his rival, or, in other words, teru is just like him. he is accepting that mob and him are the same. (and if we view mob from an autistic lens... so on and so forth)
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as if to hammer in that point even further-- in the summer vacation omake, teru explicitly states that "summer break is just a super long, super boring stretch of alone time." i'm not sure of the timeline here, but guessing from the hair, we're at least post season 1. which gives us explicit confirmation here that teru is spending the break alone despite his relationship to the awakening lab. his connection to mob is a lifeline here because mob is one of the only people who can intuitively understand teru's isolation without judgment
(also, on that point of teru's autistic tendencies: teru does and says a LOT of things that would raise other peoples eyebrows and doesn't seem to notice.
here we get teru actively admitting to his home life, right in front of reigen, WHO COULD CALL CHILD SERVICES ON HIM? this genuinely made me rethink this character entirely. teru's filter is... minimal. he isn't constantly volunteering information and generally minds his own business, but if you ask? Well.
teru is a social person, but to say he is proficient in understanding social situations seems... wrong. teru views his loneliness as boring because, despite being fairly open, does not actually allow himself to think about his own feelings and how they affect him. this loneliness is boring because he doesn't have enough of a reference to realize its not
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if we are taking pre-mob teru to be a version of himself who is masking, or at the very least someone who is faking a lot of stuff in a less autistic sense, the fight with mob changes teru to the point where he no longer hides himself. in the same way that mob was able to shake teru's fragile superiority complex i think the change in appearance marks the end of the self teru had built up. from this point on we see him become a lot more... Him. his appearance and his fashion choices are, presumably, completely normal to him and we get no indication that he believes otherwise despite the reactions it gets-- which is... well, i wouldn't be writing this post if i thought it was one of his most neurotypical traits.
in fact, he seems... pretty oblivious to what other people think of him. which is an interesting distinction to make considering the intelligence we Know he possesses (which is not to say that you are unintelligent if you don't pick up on social cues, just that its common for media to depict it that way.) these traits are made pointedly, even if unintentionally, separate, ESPECIALLY when you note the amount of characters who Do ruminate on or stare at teru's appearance.
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some examples. i don't even think this is all of it-- case in point.)
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hopefull-mindset · 8 months
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Design Analysis: Kouyou Ozaki
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Have you ever wondered why everyone has assumed Kouyou to be a courtesan or brothel owner when there has been no specification in the main series?
First, there is the fact she refers to herself using “wacchi” (わっち), a pronoun that had been used by Geisha and Oiran alike in the Edo Period. Second is that, while she doesn’t have as many layers or hair ornaments, her large Obi is still tied at the front, and wears a Uchikake over her kimono. An Uchikake by itself is not an indicator, but I would think she has it to accentuate what she’s meant to resemble.
An Oiran is a general term for a high-ranking courtesan who has taken up some traditional arts and refined in their entertainment skills, putting them above the common prostitute. The term “Oiran” (花魁) means “flower leader”. It was said to be used by Kamuro and Shinzo to refer to the older courtesans and eventually became their title. It is theorized to come from the phrase "oira no tokoro no nēsan" (おいらの所の姉さん), but there is no exact and official origin of why they’re referred to as such.
They are exclusive because of their price ranges and the highest ranking had a degree of choice in who they had in their company. They get confused with Geisha often because of their similar skill sets and when you don’t know what you’re looking for visually, but in addition, this is mostly the fault of the Occupation of Japan with many coupling both of them into what they’d call “Geesha Girls” and mistaking Geishas for prostitutes. Many even called themselves a Geisha to bring in business, but Geisha’s legally couldn’t promote sex (that didn’t stop them though sometimes if they needed the cash). They are not distinctive only because one of them can practice sex work and the other cannot. Besides my previous comments on accessories, layering, and their distinctive Obi, Oirans have more extravagant coloring and designs on their clothing.
Not to be confused with the Tayū, whom Oiran had taken after in their clothing. Tayū are not as relevant in pop culture, so do not worry about trying to tell the difference in fictional media because they’re 100% going to be an Oiran unless specified. If you would like to learn more about Tayū and not look at confusing wiki pages, I recommend reading these: Karyukai Workers and Roles, The Look of Oiran Versus Tayuu, and this nice video about a modern day Tayū.
While Shinzo are the new debuting girls late into their training, a stage before that is the Kamuro. Kamuro are young girls sold by their parents to either pay off debts or have fewer mouths to feed, and some were even born into it. On the surface, the deal of their daughter becoming someone so luxurious was desirable and made it easier for them to give her away, but not all of them got that life and had to fight for that position. Kamuro were put under the care of senior courtesans who would teach them the skills they’d need while Kamuro did their chores for them. Kamuro were also considered a social marker of how rich the courtesan was to be able to provide for these girls, but they were limited to only caring for two. It was an exploitative and abusive industry that groomed them into this life. These girls can’t leave because they’re stuck to a never-ending contract that they need to pay off in their work because of the costs of their living, so competition for the top spot wasn’t only for the idealized life promised, but to get a higher paying customer to pay off their contract to escape.
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Kouyou’s backstory is heart-wrenching in this context. We don’t have details of how she ended up there or the rest of what happened, but you can’t deny the resemblance between the life of a young girl in the red light district trying to escape her conditions with a man who has promised her freedom and Kouyou wanting to live in the light outside of the Port Mafia’s unlivable darkness with someone who wanted to show her that. Along the same lines, Kyouka can be seen as a Kamuro that Kouyou has taken under her wing and wanted to leave herself. Granted, using sexual favors is manipulation 101 and she could’ve learned this anywhere, but it would make sense if she had learned this from Kouyou as a courtesan. Kamuro weren’t ignorant of what their “Older Sisters” did.
There are many differences between the life of these girls and the bloody one Kouyou had lived in the Port Mafia, and it’s not as if I’m implying she had lived the life they did as we don’t know much, but the similarities can’t be just coincidence. As for “brothel owner”, the Yakuza unsurprisingly stick their nose into the sex work business, so it wouldn’t be too hard to assume Kouyou was looking over these things.
Side comment: “Ane-san” is old-fashioned, so the only time you’ll see it be used instead of just “Ane” or “Onee-san” is in a historical context, or with the Yakuza to refer to the upper echelon female members.
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(I refuse to use something not from mayoi, bones art… is ugly)
Kouyou’s crimson hair comes from her name “紅葉”, which can be translated to “Red (Autumn) Leaf”, or roughly “Crimson Blade”. It’s referred to as crimson in the light novels, but we all want to call it deep pink. Either way, both colors are deep-seated in love and she wears it all over. Her uchikake starts light at the top and deepens the lush cherry blossom pink into a bloody red where it drags at the floor with trailing bellflowers (or some type of thin petaled bellflower). Her inner kimono is pure black, except at her shoulder where only a piece of pink is left, and at the bottom are prominent red spider lilies. Their color is emphasized with a transitioning dark shade of purple.
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Red spider lilies are infamous because of their connotation with death, but there’s more to it. They’re considered “hell flowers” and could lead the dead to reincarnation. Used in funerals, legends say that seeing someone you will never meet again will have these flowers bloom in your path. They’re flowers that bloom in autumn and the meanings they have are: painful memories, abandonment, passion, independence, giving up, longing, and “never to meet again”.
Kouyou is a mournful soul whose past has never left her, especially in the face of confronting Kyouka’s choice. For these flowers to appear in the inner darkness of her design is significant to how deeply his death had affected her, but also the abandonment of what she regards as her “born nature”. That man had wanted to show her light but had only contributed to the growing darkness that she wasn’t allowed to escape. She had died that day with him, and could only keep walking in the flower field of death she had created. It’s only the piece of light on her shoulder that is left of her past self.
Now, the bellflowers on her uchikake can mean: Loyalty, gratitude, faithful, unchanging, honesty, and discipline.
If the Port Mafia had once been a place of terror and misery, then Mori had changed that for her and made the Port Mafia her home. She is forever grateful for what he has done to make this life livable again and dawns this flower gracefully with light colors. She chooses to wear these light colors over her kimono because even if she resents the hypocrisy of the people who can live in the light without criticism, she still wants some semblance of that dream after her soul has been blackened to that gain. Harukawa, when designing these characters, keeps in mind what organization and type of person they are when color coding them. It’s also with the understanding of what shades will appear darker and lighter in the manga style. Harukawa says that she made sure to give Kouyou light colors and kept her eye from being dark to signify that she’s a good person.
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In the manga, her outfit is slightly different from the anime’s design. Her uchikake is paler and does not have any flowers on it, and the flowers on her kimono are much more... vague, so if there are better candidates than my guesses, then be my guest and throw me a bone. From the silhouettes, I will assume that the largest visible flower is a water lily and/or lotus and the flowers growing on the branches are sakura blossoms and/or plum blossoms. It’s fitting considering she is introduced with sakura blossoms falling around her, but they could be plum blossoms too as “花魁” can refer to them in some cases.
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Water lilies and Lotus flowers are very recognizable, and I’m sure most of you have seen them around. Their meaning of “purity of heart” comes from how wild water lilies will usually be white. Similarly, lotus flowers are seen as pure because they can bloom in mud without staining themselves. Other meanings water lilies are given are: Rebirth, trust, faith, and kindness. With lotus flowers, they are: Rebirth (again), “to change someone’s mind”, “eases suffering (of the heart)”, and resilience.
Ignoring the meaning of faith and trust since we had already gone over it with the bellflowers, both possible flowers emphasize her good nature and the renewal of life that Mori had blessed her with. Mori had eased the mindless suffering caused by the old boss and changed her mind about what the Port Mafia was to her. She pushed through the muddy waters of the old boss’s darkness and stood her place well in her strength.
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Sakura blossoms and plum blossoms introduce two different meanings in their symbolic usage. Plum blossoms bloom in the winter cold in the signal of spring coming, showing the prosperity of life in the hardest of conditions, while sakura blossoms remind us of life’s impermanence and that its beauty can only last for so long. Plum blossoms also can mean: elegance, nobleness, patience, loyalty, hope, and renewal. If these are Sakura blossoms, then they can mean: renewal (again), violence, and hope (again).
In the context of these flowers appearing on her kimono, they mean something different than the renewal of a new era Mori had brought. The remark at the beginning of chapter 17 gives us a personal meaning for Kouyou to what sakura flowers are to her. They are the blooming hope of a girl’s wishes, but they eventually have to drop not long after growing up and facing their reality. Remaining a bud is impossible, so Kouyou, in defiance of this eventual fate of this girl, sees slashing the girl’s heart to be more merciful than the long, doomed drop they all have to face. Kouyou is a bloomed Sakura flower who has already dropped, and her change had started there, not when she bloomed. Even if a part of her had died, she still clings with no real hope.
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This is the only image we have of her kimono without anything covering it. This is right at the end of the Guild Arc where they are celebrating their accomplishment. Kouyou sheds her outer bright colors because there is no room for that in this setting and trusts Chuuya and Mori enough to shed any pretenses. They’ve all dressed casually, so she would too. The leaves are meant to be red maple leaves that also show up in the flashback of Kouyou of you look carefully. As I’ve said before, these have to do with her name. The vague firework-like design that shows up are either enlarged spider lilies or chrysanthemum flowers. Assuming these are the white kind, they mean: truth, loyal love, admiration, and sincere heart. However, the yellow kind can mean “slighted love”.
She is sincere inside and out, even if some of that sincerity isn't as pretty as what it looks like from a distance. “A flower that blooms in the dark can only survive within the dark” is a sentiment she lives by after all. If it is a yellow chrysanthemum, then its meaning is what you’d expect from her lonely heart.
Bonus round
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Welcome if you have read this far, this is where I stray from her main outfit and talk about outfits that only appear once. This first kimono is what she wore when staying put in the Armed Detective Agency’s capture so that Kyouka would be able to live out a dream she can’t bring herself to live out. The white kimono is covered with columbine flowers. They can mean: risk-taking, good fortune, faith, folly, hope, and specifically for white columbines, “I’m concerned for this person”. Negative/inverse meanings include: The emblem of deceived lovers, ingratitude, and faithlessness.
What this means in Kouyou’s overall situation shouldn’t be too mind-boggling. She is in this room for Kyouka’s sake and is fairly concerned about how this plan of many risks will play out, but has faith in Dazai’s abilities. She is her most stripped version of herself and works with good intentions with Dazai under this idea, so she only wears light. Kouyou though is only left to her thoughts, her own past in that room. She is glad for Kyouka, but it only leaves fear that Atsushi won't be able to live up to something he promised so she ensures that he is committed to helping her into the light and strong in a way that man wasn't able to be. 
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The second one is from the chapter art with Kouyou and Mori leading Soukoku away from each other. It’s an outfit that reflects her mindset during her time with the old boss, an inverted palette from what she’s currently wearing. She hasn’t fully embraced her environment yet. Unfortunately, almost all of the flowers and plants are a bit too vague for me to point out. There is only one flower I think I recognize on her right sleeve that looks like a bird, and it is called an Egret Orchid. The only meaning of significance here is: “I think of you even in my dreams.” Some sources will say, “My thoughts will follow you into your dreams”, but I think this made more sense in this context.
This sentiment is regarding that man who had told her such an innocent lie. She not only hid her sorrowful, pure yet broken heart inside the guise of flowering darkness but weaponized this sorrow in her violence and climbed the ranks of the Port Mafia. He is a source of regret, hate, and sadness. He is her only semblance of what hope and love could resemble, and it has become a corrupted and negative thing to her in his death. Pure darkness is the only thing can trust for people like her… but she still ponders what that life will be. His influence had never left her, whether it was for better or worse. 
Alright um
I don’t typically do analysis like this as I don’t find clothing all that interesting to look into, but there is merit to thinking about what a character is wearing even on a surface level. It can be a show of their social rank, their job, their interests, their personalties, their culture, etc. but there isn’t always a deeper meaning to their clothing on a theming sense and I can’t find it in me to usually be interested in doing it myself. In most media, the clothing only indicates the era the characters are from and how marketable they can be.
Luckily, BSD is one of those stories that do put heavy consideration on what the characters are wearing and how their clothing changes overtime for some. Obvious examples include Harukawa’s color pallet consideration to indicate what type of person they are and what organization they are from, Dazai’s clothing swap when he leaves the Port Mafia, Chuuya’s many outfits as show of his growth in belonging to the Port Mafia, the coat passed down from Mori to Dazai to Akutagawa, and the Yin-Yang coloring of Atsushi and Akutagawa that stays consistent even in Beast where they swap.
When doing clothing analysis you’re almost expected to overanalyze and stray into your own interpretations of what certain things mean, when sometimes there isn’t any intended meaning. None of that is a bad thing though! You don’t have to rely on an author or artistic word to analyze a thing, but I tend to have a hard time with just making claims like that. So I picked this concept for Kouyou because I have my own ideas for the thought process behind her design that felt right and find it intriguing enough to share. I had actually asked a friend if I could take her from their hands since they had been planning to do their own clothing analysis, but got stuck. So thank you for letting me steal it!
I’m not a historian or whatever, but I do like sharing what I do know about certain topics! Unexpectedly, this took more out of me than I thought. I’ve written more in a shorter time, but I got stuck with having to write about one certain topic than the character entirely. I will probably never do something like this again, at least not with flower meanings. Who knew how much work it was to actually explain what they mean in context in such a big bunch?
The day I finish that Odasaku analysis is when I’ll read The Golden Demon.
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sugar-grigri · 8 months
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I think I remember you making references to Fire Punch in a few analysis post so I assume you've read that one, but have you read Goodbye Eri, and if so do you have any particular thoughts you want to share on it? It might be my favorite, although it's hard to rank Fujimoto's works because there's something different I like about all of them.
Hi Yuta! or is it Fujimoto?
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2022, Goodbye Eri is released and I'm in for a huge slap in the face! I've finally got the chance to talk about it, so thank you!
It's hard to come after the war after this one-shot has been the subject of so much analysis, interpretation and criticism. But I think it's a work that's deliberately designed to be a trap, and the first mistake would be to try absolutely hard to determine whether Goodbye Eri is true or false. 
Trying to detect the true and the false is futile, not that it's really impossible, but arguments could be several pages long and the theories put forward would remain mere hypotheses because no explicit confirmation is given. Quite simply because this is not the aim of the work, nor a satisfactory way of reading it. 
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For example, when Yuta's father seems to be getting angry with Eri, we understand from Eri's "And Cut!!!" that it was all a set-up. So, as a good reader, we can only assume that what follows is pure reality. However, the father, now an actor, if he should play his line differently.
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As another illustration, when Eri is close to death and Yuta are talking, there are a few hints that they might have a relationship, but this is denied by Yuta himself, in a discussion with Eri's friend. 
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The film plays with this to such an extent that all sorts of theories are possible. It could just as easily be interpreted as there being only two films (on Yuta's mother and then on Eri's death), two films but in different ways: one about Yuta's mother and a second film about Eri, as a vampire, with the end scene played by Yuta's father and by Eri before her death.
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This explains why, even after Eri's death, Yuta continues to film because the film isn't actually finished yet, the editing being there to reverse the scenes played chronologically, to make it look as if Eri was still alive, and so on. ..
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As you can see, it all makes sense, and our preference is purely personal because they all work. But I'm not going to play that game, because it only shows me one thing, and that's that the plot surrounding Eri is deliberately obscure. 
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I've seen a lot of people describe Goodbye Eri as a work about dealing with death - the way we want to remember those we've lost, etc... It's about mourning, symbolically saying goodbye, hence the title. Which is true! But it goes further than that.
Eri's plot is deliberately obscure because the right way to appropriate the work is not through her. She's the character we know least about. Physically alone, we learn that she wore glasses and braces. Mentally, she was more annoying than she seemed in the movie. Eri is a mirage in which we won't find answers, so we have to learn to say goodbye.
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The only reliable information given in this OS is that everything is filmed by Yuta's phone. And in reality, you know Yuta better than Eri, so it's him you should turn to...
Hi Yuta!
Yuta is almost never shown in this OS, as he is always filming. And when he is shown accurately, it's when he's inspired by other films by watching them with Eri, in other words, he's continuing to work on his own film by watching others. 
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Yuta's first film began as a result of his mother's narcissistic desire, as he was celebrating his birthday, discovering his gift, a smartphone, all of which was directly taken over by his mother, who asked him to film her until she died.
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By keeping only the good sides of his mother, ignoring all the abusive parts of her, Yuta does not follow his parent's wishes, he does it for himself, showing what he himself wants to retain from his childhood, his story, in order to move forward properly.
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But as everything is filmed, it gives the impression that the videos have been passively lined up without any sorting, without any choice. Yuta takes his revenge because he refuses to film his mother until the day she dies, stopping before then, preferring an explosion to conclude his film. It's brutal because it's as if Yuta's tastes, his little touch of fantasy, are suddenly surfacing, while the rest of the film is just as personal, just as him. So when his film is mocked, it's a work so personal that Yuta wants to die. 
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It's not insignificant that it's Eri who intervenes, whose only certainty was that she loved not only the films but also Yuta's, simply because she saw not only Yuta's mother in this film but also him, whom she considered to be the best character. She wasn't revolted by the ending, because she was aware of Yuta's touch throughout the film. The same ambiguity then resurfaces, we don't know if Eri is in love with Yuta, she corrects him to say that it's these films, the two are so linked, that liking Yuta's films is tantamount to liking the teenager. 
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Yuta follows Eri's desire to produce a film that is above all personal to him, to the point that when Eri sees her last moments narrated by him, she sees Yuta more than herself, because she is seen through someone else's eyes. 
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For me, there aren't two or three films, but just one from start to finish. Because you see, we've said goodbye to Eri, we've got out of her tricky story to reflect on Yuta, but we still haven't stepped back enough. Because you know who made the film, and it's not Yuta, it's Fujimoto. So, third stage :
let's salute Fujimoto. 
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The film we've just seen in this OS deals with a number of overlapping themes, the way in which a loved one is portrayed, the relationship with others, death, creation, but above all, the extent to which a work is personal. Goodbye Eri is a pretext for Fujimoto to show us the extent to which even the cutting is the fruit of reflection, is already a message.
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In this OS, all the boxes are in the video format of a smartphone, each moving, static shot depends on Yuta, just as each shot is in the third row, drawn by someone.
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People make the mistake, like the first audience of Yuta's film about his mother, of relating to works as linear stories to be trusted, even if they film his mother every day, Yuta's editing is his way of counting a story, it is certainly not the truth in all its neutrality. It's only at the moment of the explosion, which expresses the most of Yuta's personality, that people get upset.
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This offbeat, absurd explosion is something that Fujimoto punctuates in his works, yet they are both thought out and personal to him. But they are often mocked as a way of poking fun at his work. What Fujimoto is saying is that the work doesn't become brutally personal for the controversial, offbeat moments, just the way he depicts a scene from life is personal. 
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People believed this version of the author's mother, otherwise they wouldn't be outraged by this disgraceful way of portraying this nice woman at the end, so in itself, Yuta's film worked. But all this is just a pretext for Fujimoto to point out that he is the author of all his other works, CSM, Fire Punch, Look Back, Just Listen to the Song... They are just like another film made in response to the positive or negative reactions of the others.
Fujimoto likes to trace the common ground between these works, which respond to each other. Each one, placed side by side, is an attempt by Fujimoto to upset his audience a little more, a second or third try.
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The mistake is to separate the author's touch from his work, just as we are tempted to focus more on Eri than Yuta. Just as Fujimoto reminds us through this OS, who writes, draws Goodbye Eri. The first part of CSM was turned upside down by the fact that Makima was a demon from the start, abusive to the point of being the antagonist.
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A violent and abusive maternal relationship. The design of the mother is also a bit similar. Mentions of the breasts, something that also went down quite a bit and left its mark on a lot of readers because it was so out of sync. The emphasis on cats... A rejected boy. A work focused on female characters.
Goodbye Eri is a work in which Fujimoto makes fun of himself, his works and the things that bring them together. Yes, there will be an explosion if the author so decides. Yes, Eri can live again, be a vampire, if the author so decides, but what's to stop him making his characters die, and then bringing them back to life a few pages later? 
The characters' plots are the authors' playgrounds, whether you like it or not. You can't detach works from their authors, or read works as unrelated things because they were written by the same person. Talking about death, life, mourning, love, with a touch of fantasy is what Fujimoto does in each of them. 
So if you're lost, remember that what you're reading isn't in the title but in the author. 
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