#dont get me wrong though the album is great so far

[purpleshadow-star]

I'm finally listening to Alec Benjamin's newest album 12 Notes, and he really has me over here looking up the definitions of multiple words. Like your songs sound great, and the wordplay is immaculate, but unfortunately, I just don't know what conflagration means.

[morethananhour]

putting all my concert thoughts in a poast before i forget. here we go mucho texto warning. also setlist talk is gonna be out of order probably

the drive to the venue took longer than anticipated, traffic was so backed because dfw is just Like That. dont come here. and ft worth especially oh my GODDDD but we made it in time for the maine. i missed the first opener again its fine

ive only listened to the maine casually over the years and i like them but THEY WERE SUPER FUN LIVE????? the energy was so high for such a short set and they honestly sound better live than album recordings. i may have to stan

also Bassist Hot whats his number

theyre all kinda hot really. from my distance at least. sorry

robby energy

the sound at dickies arena in general is just soooo much fucking better than an outdoor stadium the guitars and drums were up to 11, ppl werent wrong abt the sound quality in this venue. sux its in ft worth though ONE MASSIVE DOWNSIDE kfmjsdkglafk

amazing sound at the cost of my hearing because. i forgot to buy ear plugs again it hurt just a lil bit. especially the pyro. at least its only been 2 times so far I WILL LEARN MY LESSON NEXT TIME LOL

i accidently sat in the wrong section but the my actual tickets i bought were closer so WE TAKE THOSE!!! not close enough to see skin pores but still very much enough

jimmy sounded great!! didnt know most of the songs despite doing a bit of listening but i got bleed american and the middle at the end which both ruled so. worth it

kinda wanted the maine back but ITS OKAY NO SHADE

patrick message on the projector. which is funny for anyone at home but FOR ME THERE I WAS LIKE [DREAD] [DREAD] [DREAD] FUCK DFW WEATHER

imagining patrick doing vocal warmups in the car by himself did lighten my mood just a tad. i had no proof but a feeling he did that

and then the pete images. only got a glimpse thru shitty venue connection but that made me laugh

and my battery was already low so the waiting and stalling was painful 😭

i was directly diagonal from the guy in the east wing lower bowl that started a monkey-see-monkey-do light show thru the whole stadium while waiting for fob and i just love the goodness of people at concerts its everything to me PEOPLE ARE GOOD

the woman next to him also danced like a beautiful drunk swan the entire show and idk if i wanted to be her or be her friend

also if u saw plain ol me clear glasses brunette hair tourdust shirt and bracelets HI YES WAS I

i didnt feel like going around to trade bracelets again as nervous anticipation set in but i DID pick out an american psycho bracelet from a person who came up to me so i completely unknowingly manifested there holy fuck. im cherishing it forever thank u to that person

WRECKING BALL. LMAO

also i sang along to Thats What You Get by Paramore playing in overspeakers because thats my fucking band but I HEARD MORE PPL IN THE CROWD SING ALONG TO OLD PANIC WHICH PERSONALLY OFFENDED ME JUST SAYIN

wdstf singalong was everything. again the energy at concerts <3333 my people

LIKE 30-40 MIN LATER FOB IS ON FINALLY. i did not cry this time to lftos i was just glad they were there the worry Dissolved

joe and andy were so visible from my seats i stared at them both nearly the entire show. patrick brain out the window they are SO MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE IN PERSON IM TELLIN YALL 4K HIGH DEFINITION THRU MY EYEBALLS GOT MY BRAIN IN A. TORNADO!

photos and videos were not fantastic my phone is nawt the latest model so nothing worth posting here sadly. but for myself? everythang

IM KICKING MYSELF because i so clearly had andy in view for HIS DRUMSTICK THING DURING SUGAR but MY FINGER DIDNT PRESS RECORD BUTTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please. please if ur close to andy, video that for me i need it for no reason other than its my favorite lil thing that nobody at tourdust shows. thank u so mch

NO CHICAGO FOR ME THIS TIME getting doa twice is kinda crazy ngl

patrick apology (no tears) for grand theft autumn was funny

andy and pete had cute smiley interactions around disloyal order during the set. or before that idk. i know a bubble hit andy's drum kit (or he swatted it away himself?) and they were smiling at that 😭😭😭 theyre litrly besties do u understand.........

of course p squared still did their signature scissoring techniques thank u for that old men

NO HEAVEN IOWA. THEY SKIPPED HEAVEN IOWAA FOR DOLDRUMS. i still went hard of course but CONSIDERING HOW GR8 THE SOUND WAS I WAS ONLY SLIGHTLY BUMMED

you dont even wanna know how estatic i was for hum hallelujah. i had to get myself proof of it for it to be real. tahnk u. ill never recover ever. peace and love in my brain

i dont rememebr certain songs where joe had this very specific swagger but he so very much did i saw him. with my own eyes. (in the voice of the luke skywalker tweet) dont worry joe i'll appreciate ur cuntiness

headfirst slide. in this venue.

oh my god bro

both p squared riffs <3 especially the one near the end where pete saw someone watching shit on their phone nd said it was basketball JEYDEUGHEKDLK patrick chiming in w something about dont make fun of his step-dad. gold.

saying smfs reminded him of texas #TEXANPRIDE #COWBOYS

PATRICK DURING RIFF SAYNG HIS GLASSES ARENT CURRENT PRESCRIPTION. THE REVEAL THAT HE STILL CANT SEE. WE LOST

medley was like. a relief to me because i expected it it was like a cool towel in the midst for what was about to come. cant blame the guy for getting literally zero practice beforehand fmdsjfdslg

the 8 ball.

i cried BIG PHAT BABY TEARS

i love them more than words can say. i didnt know i needed it but i did

im still emotional thinking abt it

saturday aftercare cured all (even though i was WOOPED from going so hard EVERY SONG. couldnt scream anymore my voice is still shot. i refuse to NOT go as hard as i do)

i think that is all the notable stuff i remember i wish i couldve written down stuff on the ride home BUT i will add more if i think of it. overall its hard to say which show i liked better they both meant the absolute world to me!!! FALL OUT BOY FOREVER

[marioclash]

9 people youd like to get to know better

tagged by @yamaokarin im bad at these im sorry!

last song: since i dont use streaming services for music anymore, i have to go by what i actually remember listening to yesterday but i believe it was sweet impossible love by crj. it was some unreleased song that i like. its in an unofficial emotion side c album. god. i love it. how is her unreleased stuff on par if not sometimes BETTER than her released material. makes no sense.

favorite color: my favorite color kinda changes every single day but generally i'll fall back on the orange colors in my icon and mobile theme

currently watching: im continuing my watch of xena i love her i love xena and lucy lawless fills me with life. and i need to attach a picture

last movie: i think it was the vvitch. that was. A movie. im not much of a movie person so i dont watch movies all too often ive said it before and ill say it again if i got to taste butter for the first time again i would sell my soul to the devil. i would LOVE to live deliciously

currently reading: likewise, im not much of a books person either mostly because money but i am reading a book right now on krakatoa by simon winchester. pretty interesting so far because the history of that area is fascinating to me. it goes over the history of the whole area, not just the volcano itself

sweet/spicy/savory: oh i loooove savory (and spicy actually, a combination of the two is stellar). i cant really do sweets because they just mess with my stomach wrong (some chocolate is my kryptonite, though. god. twix bars. i could eat a million)

relationship status: usually not something i really discuss (or want to) but im single, but like... not really interested in romantic relationships. and im not a one-off fling kinda person either... so.... yeah. not really sure what i... am exactly.

current obsession(s): vintage computing :) having a usable windows 98/XP machine in 2023 is super useful. tons of programs i might not have otherwise been able to run! also you could say some other obsessions are xena and that krakatoa book right now

last thing i googled: k-meleon because im trying to get it working on the xp partition of the drive but it wont. FUCKING work. yeah the vintage computing is great but its also a goddamn headache sometimes

currently working on: prev yeah i kinda dont understand this one either. you could say im working on a lot of stuff. trying to get money flowing into the house, trying to get this laptop in proper working order, etc. etc. etc...

im terrible at this part where i tag people... SO. i will be lazy and if you decide to do this after reading MY garbage you can just say i tagged you

[dizzythegreat]

all you need is time PART TWO

I Don’t Wanna Fall

THE CHOIR-LIKE HARMONIES AT THE START

“its getting pretty close to the end” (of the album) is how i interpreted it and i loved that sm, im probably wrong but that made me happy

the way they sing “it doesn’t really matter” and “did you forget my number” is so ughhhh

and “i still love you”

i feel like this one relates to “liar” and “tell me have you been dancing”, i feel like they’re all about liking someone you can’t having, holding onto slivers of hopes that maybe they love/still love you too

and also hoping that maybe you still love them, not wanting to fall out of love with them

SO FUCKING RELATABLE UGH, thinking about the things that make you so happy right now, thinking about the things you love and adore and being terrified of the idea of growing out and away from them, wanting to hold onto everything you are in love with with all you’ve got

favourite lyric: “god it's getting pretty hard to pretend that i could be my own best friend”

8/10, head over heels

Easy

omg the mv for this was was so cute i loved it sm

such a happy and inspiring take on the breakup song

loved how it portrayed the end of a relationship as something that can be freeing, even joyful

it wasn’t love, and that’s ok! now its over, and you’re free!!

just a squishy little happy song i love it

favourite lyric: “hey mom, i know 'm crying/but you don't have to worry bout me/hang on, i might be lying/but a lion in a jungle is a king”

i love that verse bc it just makes absolutely 0 sense and it just makes me giggly

overall, 7.8/10

again, i did skip this one a lot bc im impatient and wanted to hear the new songs. doesnt make it any less good though

Routine

love the kind of dangerous vibe of this one

the soft, angry singing, almost like someone on the verge of snapping

i saw this one as being about noticing all the little toxic things that people say or do to you

and realizing it’s become a routine

and you’ve let it become one

its gotten this far because you’ve let it get this far. 

angry at the people who treat you like this, angry at the unhealthy relationships that you’ve allowed to become routine, angry at yourself for letting it slide

favourite lyric: “has it become routine? morning coffee, then lie to me?”

overall rating: 7/10, not one of my faves, but its a daisy the great song so legally it cannot be bad

Smile Pretty Girl

oh my god. OHHH MY GOD.

oh my god??

i need a sec. just give me a minute. I NEED A SECOND

this is the best song on the album hands down im sorry

this song makes me want to vomit and float and go into a coma oh lord

“im not that pretty... but im not bad” AHHHHHHH

i saw this one as being about mediocrity, the bitterness of living an ordinary life, and wanting to leave your mark

people say that all you need is time, all good things will come with time, patience is a virtue. but life is unpredictable. what i die, having spent my entire life waiting for something that never comes?

is this how you want to be remembered? life is short. its unpredictable. if you die right now, is this the mark you want to leave upon the world?

im wasting my time on meaningless little things. i need to be extraordinary. i need to secure my place in the world long after i’ve left it. i need to scream and yell and carve into the walls and proclaim that i was here. i lived. i did amazing, extraordinary, human things. and i loved every moment of it.

i dont even know. its so hard to put into words how this song makes me feel. but it was the absolute perfect ending to the regular album and more than making me want to die, it made me want to live. savour every moment. not let time pass me by

favourite lyric: all of it. oh my god, all of it. i am. oh.

but really, it would probably be “and i've been letting time/just walk right by my eyes/i should know better/that's what I get”

10/10 no questions asked thank you so much kelley and mina for doing this to me im going to explode

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

[duvgaleni]

Ok first off I am SO sorry I have taken so long to get to this ask I had no energy between work and school. That said here comes the GN review. So I did not expect Elvis to vibe with me musically the way it did. If I have to pick a fave off the album it has to be Molly with Control coming in at a close second. I can't explain it but Molly really has unique designs on me. I really love the sound and style of music for this rec. Once again you deliver top shelf goods.

Side note: I took that quiz you reblogged even though I've never heard of the vorkosigan saga in my life and I got someone named Bel Thorne. Made me look up the series, which made me realize that I very much want this in my life, and now I'm wondering if you'd advise me as to which book I should start with? I asked the internet and got huge charts.

Eagerly awaiting your next recs,

MAB

P.S. thinking about making rugelach on a weekend off. Thoughts/advice?

Hey hi! So glad to hear from you! I was just thinking the other day “I miss MAB :(” but I didn’t want to rush you lol, I’ve also been super low energy lately so you’re in good company! As always, I’m so glad you liked it, this has been one of my really pandemic-defining albums, I’ve spent a truly Shocking amount of time sitting on the floor listening to this and painting since I discovered it maybe 10 months ago? I also didn’t really expect to vibe with it, I was off the indie-country-stylings train and the vocals threw me at first but it kinda got its hooks into me and i found myself just thinking about it all the time, and i listened and relistened and found more and more complex little bits and beautiful lyrics and realized it had wormed its way into my faves on accident, so good for it. Control’s also one of my real faves, the whole front half of this album is SO strong, Westside and Crying About The Planets took a minute for me to warm up to but are really some of my faves on the album now. I’m glad it spoke to you as much as it spoke to me!

ok SO let’s talk about the Vorkosigan Saga. These books are my favorite anything in the whole world, they’re my parents favorite books too so I really grew up with them, I’ve loved them all my life even when I was way too young to understand a lot of the concepts (I tried to read this Really Heavy one all about clones when i was V young and I didn’t know what a clone was, I thought it was just a fucked up baby brother, i was more right than I realized, so i put it down and Thank Fuck for that) and you should ABSOLUTELY read them. Bel Thorne was the first nonbinary character I ever saw (even though they are NOT handled well, these books show their age on a lot of lgbt stuff so heads up) and they’re so goddamn cool, they’re whip-smart and chock full of heart and they captain a space ship and I could go on Forever, I just named my new podcast character after them and I’m just thrilled about it. So as far as order goes, I Highly recommend starting with Cordelia’s Honor, which is a collection of the books Shards of Honor and Barrayar, which are prequels about the parents of the main characters of the main series. The main series starts with some truly superb fun manic semi-political space opera, but it’s really aged for the protagonist Miles, who’s 17 at the time. Cordelia’s Honor gives you a really great background on the universe you’re in, shows you Exactly how Miles got to be The Way That He Is, is the best god damn enemies-to-lovers you’ll ever find, CHUGS its respect women juice, is also fun but definitely heavier in tone than the main series begins. It’s really beautiful, very very human, and just SMART. Heads up, those books have some heavily implied sexual assault, suicide stuff, uhhhh Weird Mental Illness, and Weird Homophobia (though it’s portrayed to be in the wrong, again these books are very much a product of their time.) But they follow Miles’ parents, Cordelia Naismith and Aral Vorkosigan as they meet, fall in love on opposite sides of a war, eventually get married, and get sucked into some truly wild and Really Really Cool politics, and i Highly recommend you start there. Past that, my recommended reading order is pretty much chronological, you should get to Falling Free and Ethan of Athos at some point but like Shards of Honor - Barrayar - Warriors Apprentice - Vor Game - Cetaganda - Borders Of Infinity - Brothers In Arms - Mirror Dance - Memory - Komarr - Civil Campaign - Diplomatic Immunity - Captain Vorpatril’s Alliance - Cryoburn - Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen (bolded books are my personal favorites) is really the way to go. I know that’s an awful lot, but they’re really fast reads and they’re So Goddamn Good And Fun And Good, if you start them PLEASE let me know your thots as you read

Hoo ok that was a lot, thank you for bearing with me! My biggest advice re. rugelach is just have fun and be yourself with it, do whatever filling you want, pour love into the dough and you’ll have a good time. Sorry that’s not more technical, but if ur using the recipe i sent you (and i can post it again if u dont want to hunt for it) then honestly i think it’s gonna be fab no matter what (and honestly even if you dont do a super bindy filling and your jam leaks out and burns Who Give A Shit, burnt chocolate w raspberry or cherry jam is still pretty damn good), if you enjoy the process then that’s what matters!

[jflove]

Taekook/Vkook: From things I gathered so far

First of all, it’s just my thinking, I could be wrong. So if im wrong, then just think of this post as a fanfic. So, I started listening/watching BTS just this week. Yeah i know, very late for the party. but i dont usually listen to K-pop, so I came across them simply because they’re everywhere recently. 

They amazed me like most of the world right now, i started to watch their interview or v-live vids just to know them better. 

Then i saw a old news about they almost break the group in 2018, i was really shocked, so i watched the 2018 festa, heard that V talked about Suga write a long massage to him and end with I love you. then Suga said he also sent to another person. 

then Jungkook raised his hand.

i found it a bit weird why he didn’t say it earlier, wait till Suga pointed out another person? But i didn’t think into it. the news commented that Suga cared for the two youngest members, and said the almost disbanded reason was pressure from the fame.

Then i came across those Taekook vids, lots of them with detail analyse, those were too many i can’t repeat. i grow up with Japan’s boy groups, those were K-pop’s beginning, so im no new to those fan service behavior. But I really feel this wasn’t the case.

The first one really bring up suspicious, is when Jimin asked if JK was happy, then JK said yes and thank fans.

I was really shocked to see that, because Jimin actually lower his voice, it doesn’t sound like a joke. 

And also JK’s answer... i have to say hes not the best improviser on cover up. He stop for a sec then said something in a weak tone....

He didn’t ask why Jimin say that or anything, like a normal person been wrongfully accused. Just really nervous laughing.

Cute, but boi.

Then theres that famous sleeping together on a boat:

And also those v-live busted:

Jungkook wasn’t wearing clothes when V came, but they exchanged some shady text before. So theory was probably V told him hes coming but didn’t say he would bring the cam, so... poor JK.

Anyway there are lots of them, so im not gonna go threw everything. Just my theory: I would guess they probably started just good friends, they both has the same weirdness, and similar age. And JK said he think V really good looking a lot from the beginning. V would pet JK like a puppy and hug him every chance he got.

Though other’s like the little bro too, but clearly they were the closest.

And most of all, V likes(or needs) to hug something to sleep, and little JK didn’t like sleep alone. So they just naturally sleep together all the time. And other hyungs were used to it. they know each other more than any other members too.

 at first I guess they started to make out around 2017, but now i think probably 14-15. I have to keep changing the timeline earlier because more i dig, more i think it happened very early. 2013 When the group started, Jungkook looked so shy and everyone teased him. V’s teasing a bit different, more intimate or inappropriate even. Like the pic above, JK often looks shy and tries to get away. There’re also a vid (I forgot where i saw it) everyone sit down talking, V held JK under his arm and grabbing his nipple, JK looked so uncomfortable and low key tried to get away.  But that dynamic soon changed, JK suddenly more confident, can tease back, and possessive of V. i think they started to make out during that time. explain why JK used to so awkward when V teased him, because he got aroused by those joking behavior and embarrassed. But after confirmed that the feeling was mature. He’s all exciting and totally in love. But I don’t think they really consider the other one as lover till 2016, could be when V left the group for the movie shooting, the separation made them realized their own feeling. if i can be a bit pervert, i would say before that could just jerking, making out, normal stuff. but 16 or 17 are the time they really doing it and become lovers.

this vid was form 03.24.2017, i saw it from other people’s great vid. pls go watch it, so informational. In this vid you can hear some kissing sound. I used to think this time was they first build up the real sexual relationship so they couldn’t control themselves. But now i think maybe because company were(are) pressing them, so its their way to get back. So as those sneaky tease, it’s their way to express their feeling under the company rules.

Maybe at first was boys fooling around, but it turn to real general love very quick. It’s not just some dazed and confused, they supported each other in a high pressure industry full with adults. Train together, work together, live together. That would definitely create a strong bond. And I believe them made each other grow a better person. V becomes more thoughtful, discovered his ability on dancing, singing, and song writing. And the very capable JK becomes more caring, confident, and found his mental support he can always rest his head when he really tired.

The another shock for me was the behind scene of Winter Bear.

first of all, JK isn’t in the credit so why was he there lol? Second, that phone lol. JK’s symbol is rabbit. so no matter who that phone is all quite suspicious.  Although there’re some camera sound, but it doesn’t looks like another person was shooting, the sound and camera shift could edit in. or just ask the camera person leave the camera after couple shoots. Anyway, i think the camera was on the bed was the tiny movement matched their move so it could be just mattress bouncing. But the important thing i want to talk about was this:

That damn boi was freaking jerking off right?! His top all opened up, his left hand was under the cover, and there were some tiny panting and chest movement... i watched like at least 20 times, its gotta be. And there’s a cut couple sec later, changed to JK singing winter bear with a smirk face.

cus he freaking knew the song is about him.  yeah. I think V made that song cuz JK. He said before that JK really hates people waking him up. so i guess kinda like a bear?

 Then there’s the walking with JK’s dog scene. Before the behind scene came out, people argued about whether JK was involved. But now, yeah, i would say he probably the person filming since he already filming V a lot on his personal account “golden closet film“... do i even need to say anything about the name?

Back on the bear. 

V only held one bear, and the finishing had two bears.

Two bears, how could that be any more obvious?? Two bears, two boys likes to sleep together. do the math.

do you even wanna talk how close he and the person filming? don’t think a professional would film like this. and the look in V’s eyes, the tiny smile on his lips... im tired to go over this, why do i even need to point out? use your eyes.

So, conclusion, I think they were in love since 2017. And the other members all know about it. There are so many slips i wouldn’t gonna talk about it. it’s already a super long post.

Next, it’s the interfering phase. 2018. 

Anyway, Korea is not a gay-friendly country. And they have mandatory military service, which V and JK haven’t done. if you’re gay in Korea military, you could face jail time. And not to mention coming out in anywhere would be hard. The company started to separate V and JK, they won’t be in the same vid, even arrange different schedule for them. If it’s a group activity, then they couldn’t stand next to each other without others cut in-between.

I imagine its not a great job for the hyngs, probably why they talked about disband. Yeah, I went back to the first question i got and finished my quest. i think i found the real reason. and it explains why-->

See when Jin said it, V was looking at another person on his right side with that intense look, tell me that's not a look you look at someone you love but couldn’t be with.

And V all broke down, finally JK couldn’t watch it anymore.

I can’t find a close up, but i remember seeing in some other vids. JK was holding his tear and put on a calm face but you can see how hard he gritted.

it’s hard to find because they all got ban by the company. maybe my post would too... i heard there was a vid on YouTube point out the same thing and got ban by bighit. so... anyway. if you think im right, you can make a copy of my post and re-post it. don’t worry about copy my words, i don’t mind. if a lot of people did the same thing, then there would be no point to ban.

IM NOT DOWN HERE!!

That’s talk about this v live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfHecRN_dLk

if you didnt watch it, go find it on youtu. This vid are so... all over the place. I didn’t understand till some great analysis (see the link above). i couldn’t go throw all the details why how or what... if you don’t believe, why you even read till here? 

Simply says, company wanna hide that JK and V was staying in the same room, so they probably ask V to leave the room, but V came back in the middle, everyone was super awkward, so Jin and Jimin left. V looked sad and pissed. He wouldn’t leave, so company sent someone to ring the bell, and told JK to ask V to leave.

see how uncomfortable that JK had to ask V to leave. i feel so bad for them both, had to follow those company stupid rules and pretend their relationship. How would that feel when you have the love one so close to you, but you can’t touch, can’t hold each other, can’t even say how important that person meant to you.

They’re in their 20s! they should be having fun with each other, posting those sweet pics and showing off their boyfriends, having the best. Instead, they can’t even stand together in public photo shooting.

People even thought they have issue with each other, can you imagine how insult that would be? have to see your fans pairing you and your lover with other people, but couldn’t say anything.

Then, that’s talk about the new album. because i think they’re not gonna be quite for long. remember RM made a speech in UN about not just love yourself, also need to speak yourself? I think they are gonna speak, that’s why RM hinted in this interview:

yes form the same youtuber, go find the vid.  He say something big could be coming, i do think definitely could be JK and V coming out. see how serious JK’s face? this kid got frown lines in just a year! People were shock that he looks much grown up in “ON”, i just feel sorry for him. hes only 22, he shouldn’t have to grow up so much. But love would do this to you, the things you do for love age you. V seems much older too, i couldn’t imagine how much pressure hes under. 

And we have to talk about the songs.

First, Jungkook’s My time. He said the same thing about have to grow up fast. Of course industry would do that to you, but he was always quite happy till couple years ago. love do make us weak and hurt, some love just harder than the other. In his song, he said don’t know what’s his time, I think maybe he was thinking about when to come out? But eventually he definitely will, because his song was for V, the lyric mostly was easy to understand, but 

Even if it's opposite of sun One time for the present (one time) Two time for the past (two time) these three lines i think sun means V’s name? probably means even against what V wants? but the one or two im not sure, how many times he disagree with V?

And time, my time, does that mean sexuality? or just simply means he couldn’t have time with V? so many possibility...

But i really wanna talk about V’s inner child. That’s the reason why i spent 4hrs writing this long ass post with my broken english. Not even sure would any one even bother to read... Because after everything i know and believe about V and JK, when i read the lyric i see a totally different song. a heart break love song for someone he knows for so long, when they both young. (im tearing up again) OK, call me imagine things all you want, if there’s a small chance they really are lovers and this song was for JK... just pretend that and read+listen the song again.

At that time, we had it tough While looking up at those stars in the sky, too far out of reach You at that time, didn't believe in galaxies But I saw it, a silver galaxy It must have hurt, it must have been so difficult I ran towards the endless light 

The first part is the beginning of their story, they wanna be like those stars, but JK wasn’t sure about himself. V believes they can make it. so they went for it, even have to go through all those lies and suffering.

and the chorus... 

It tingles, that summer day's air The cold sounds of the grey-lit streets I draw in a breath and knock at your door We gon' change 

maybe how things happened? Not sure the summer is a  metaphor or a real time though. this change means they fell in love.

Now I wish we would smile more It will be okay, because today's me is doing fine Yesterday's you, now it's all clear I want to hug the many thorns in the budding rose The smiling kid, the child who was always laughing brightly When I see you like that, I can't help smiling

The second part is breaking my heart. I think hes telling JK not to worry about him. He doesn’t mind those thorns(all the obstacles they have to face), he want  the rose(JK or their love relationship). And the smiling kid part just makes me cry every time. The line “Yesterday’s you”, Im not sure means he can sees JK’s grown up, or... When i sense that their relationship might be the almost disband reason, i think probably one of them wanted to go against the company, open their relationship. But the other one refused. That’s why they end up still the same. I thought was V wanted to open, because he’s more don’t care about what people think kinda person.  but now i think might be JK. That’s why V was crying so hard on the stage, because hes the one hiding. He felt sorry for JK, and JK held him showed he support his decision. And if that’s true, then the whole “yesterday you” could means that V understand why JK want to go public now. Another thing why i suddenly think JK is the one wanted to come out, is the “Golden Closet Film” name. And It’s started at 2017.11.08... probably the time they talked about coming out, but decided not to, he was frustrated and felt been pressed by the company into this glamorous closet.

the chorus this time means another change, maybe they broke up, or put a hold on their relationship. but i would think... maybe when V made the song, he didn’t know what would happen. this song was what he wanted to say to JK, so he could bring this song to JK and play or sing to him. See what would he choose.

Therefore comes the next part which is dancing in my tears: 

Tonight, if I reach my hand to yours Can you hold that hand? I'll become you You just have to look at my galaxies Be showered with all those stars I'll give you my world The lights illuminating your eyes, they're the me of now You’re my boy, my boy My boy, my boy, my boy

Is V asking JK to come out with him? i couldn’t figure out every single words mean but i don’t have to, that’s something V said to JK, the meaning belongs to them, we can just shared a bit of his emotion. there are just so many love and begging, calling for the boy he deeply in love with. every single word hurt me deeply because they are so real and pure.

If someone wrote something like this song to you, you need to grab that person tight. You might never meet another person could love you more than that.

I don’t know if JK hold V’s hand, like I said in the beginning, i could be all wrong and this is just a fanfic. But it’s the ending, if you still with me. let me make a wild guess...

If they come out on one of the coming concert, that would be epic.  I worry for them of course, I wish them nothing but happiness. I truly don’t want to see this great kids suffer anymore. So maybe its a good thing if im wrong, or the storm might swallow them all. No matter what, i will keep supporting them, hope most of the army too. 

[dearyams]

wanted to send you a prompt i was gonna do but i am too lazy prompt: mike and will have been dating but havent said i love you, mike is going on some trip for a week where cell phones dont work (obv future fic) and so Byeler is having a phone convo before mike arrives at his destination and they wont be able to talk to each other a week and will says tells mike he loves him but before mike can respond the phone disconnects as Mike arrives at the destinationn

[ crossposted on AO3 ]

“Finished packing yet?”

Mike turns from his suitcase and the clothes piles spread about the floor in his room and grins when he spots Will leaning on the doorframe a few feet away. He’s got two iced coffee cups in hand, indicative of finishing his part-time hours at the local coffee shop a few blocks north from the Byers residence. Mike wonders if Will biked his way over or took a lift with his brother to come visit before the Wheelers make their way on an impromptu trip to upstate New York at a cabin his dad had recently inherited.

The kneeling boy waves his hands at the disorderly state surrounding him and shrugs. “I’m trying and failing at packing the right clothes for this venture, I’ll say that.”

Will chuckles and walks fully into the room. He passes along Mike’s coffee, shoving around haphazardly folded pants to find a seat on the floor beside the other boy. Mike watches him grab a sweater and toss it aside. “It’s summer so you don’t need to pack heavy. Just grab some t-shirts and jeans; that should do. Shorts too if you’d like.”

“Sure,” sighs Mike before sipping from his cup. “I don’t want to make the visit miserable if I’m wearing the wrong clothes. Wrong for the weather and wrong for looking tolerable in the photos I know Mom is gonna force on me.”

Will laughs, a gentle breeze in the summer’s heat. “You’ll look good in whatever you put on.”

“As my boyfriend, you’re kind of obligated to say that.”

“Not really.” the brunette leans in to kiss Mike’s cheek. “I’ll let you know when you look bad if only for the sake of my own eyes.”

“And when you won’t be next to me, how will you judge my outfits properly?”

Will checks his watch and hums. “When’s your departure? If you have time, you can try out some of the outfits and I’ll let you know what works.”

Mike grins as he reaches over Will’s lap and snags a band t-shirt. “Sneaky aren’t you; tryna get me undressed.”

“I’ll cover my eyes.” Will places his unoccupied hand over his eyes but spreads his fingers between his middle and ring fingers to peek through the opening. Mike scoffs, tossing a stray pair of shorts at his face which makes the brunette laugh heartily. Mike already misses Will, the knowledge that they’ll be separated for a week squeezing his heart dry with romantic despair. He wishes Will could come with but the trip was pretty unplanned and though Mike's “job” as a blog writer and editor doesn’t require a remote location, Will’s job doesn’t allow the same ease when taking off work.

(Though Mike thinks he’ll probably still be working offline on an article if his mom doesn’t steal his laptop for “family bonding in the forest” time.)

Mike’s sudden fashion show lasts for about an hour and while Will does offer good input, most of that hour is spent playing around and Mike sneaking in as many kisses as they can get away with whenever Mike peels off a shirt and struggles to get his head through the tight collar of another. Afterwards, Will helps finish packing and when completed, they lounge about on Mike’s bed as Will discusses the customers he met earlier in the day.

Though he knows packing just mere hours before departure isn’t a habit he should develop, especially when the plans for his career require frequent traveling, he spent the night before editing a movie review scheduled for posting during the drive. Mike doesn’t regret his momentary time mismanagement if it means he spends more time with Will before the trip. The article can wait—he’s posting it early anyway—but time spent with his boyfriend is always coveted.

When Mike’s mom knocks on the door, Will pulls away from Mike’s chest where he rested his head as they page through Mike’s hard copy of The Golden Compass which he wanted to review in line with the show’s release. Shaking his head and straightening his hair as best as possible, Mike struts to his door and opens it with raised eyebrows. His mom looks up from checking her phone and offers Mike a tight smile before looking past him to wave at Will.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you two,” she starts warmly, “but Mike, we have to get going soon. The traffic through the city is getting dense thanks to an accident on the 70.”

“Got it,” replies Mike as he turns back to Will, who walks to his side with both their empty cups in hand. “I’ll see you in a few days, Byers.”

“‘Course.” Will grins and leans up to press a gentle kiss to Mike’s cheek. “Call me when you’re getting close to your destination.”

“Sure, worrywart,” he teases but turns his face to kiss Will’s lips one last time before he has to depart. He watches Will nod bashfully at his mom and give her a short goodbye before making his way downstairs. Mike doesn’t look away until he hears the front door closing and then he casts his gaze on his mom. “Are Dad, Nancy, and Holly waiting outside?”

“Yes,” she nods toward the front of the house. “We’ll all just waiting on you now.”

It doesn’t take long for Mike to join his family at the car, and as his dad pulls out the driveway, Mike turns in the direction of the Byers and smiles when he sees Will on his bike a little ways down the road watching. He sticks his hand out the window, his wave only growing more frantic when Will waves back. Holly giggles and Nancy makes a side comment about love sick teenagers as if she wasn’t one herself during her escapades with Steve, Jonathan, and now Robin. The first hour and a half fills with Holly saying “moo” every time they pass a cow on the way to the interstate and Mike feels like smashing his head against his window when they pass a farm and Holly moos until she nearly passes out. Pulling out his phone, Mike shoots Will a selfie of himself despondently looking out the window and groans when his cell service takes its sweet time sending the message along. Mike gets a reply a reply twenty minutes later: Will laughing at his misery with a short additional, “you’ll be there before you know it,” and a bunch of kiss emojis.

The next hour passes with Mike flipping through his ever growing Will gallery, a digital photo album filled with selfies and candid shots of Will, both solo and with Mike. He’s not one for being in photos himself but Will manages to drag him into a few selfies here and there. He doesn’t mind snapping a selfie either by himself or together—cheeks squished as they both attempt to fit in the frame as Mike holds the phone up and out—because Will always asks him to send the photo along and then makes it his lock screen until the next time he convinces Mike it’s photo time.

After settling on a candid shot Mike snapped when he and Will visited Lovers’ Lake and the sun framed Will like a bright halo of fire, Mike settles on playing a mobile game for about another two hours before staring out the window until the trees blend together and his eyes find themselves sliding shut. He wakes up a few times here and there when the family stops at gas stations and picks up snacks—he definitely remembers his mom arguing with his dad about stopping at a hotel which they ultimately don’t do—but he wakes up for the final time to his phone buzzing in his lap, startling him out of a dream he quickly forgets upon waking. Caller ID tags the number as Will and he immediately answers as he scrambles for his headphones in his pocket.

“Hey,” he begins, shoving the headphone plug into the slot at the bottom of the device, “Is everything okay back home?”

“Everything’s great,” Will’s voice crackles on the line and Mike peaks outside in the darkness to notice the forest surrounding him. They must be close to the cabin destination already. He didn’t think he had slept for that long. “Just checking in since it’s about time you’ve arrived if your dad didn’t take a rest.”

Mike laughs. “You’re cute, you know, checking up on me like this.” He hears Nancy snorting and reaches over Holly to pinch her bare arm. She glares at him and covers Holly’s eyes to flip him off. “Nancy says hello by the way.”

“Hello back to her.” Mike can hear Will’s grin and his heart clenches in sorrow at the current distance between them. “Are you doing okay there?”

“Yeah, peachy.” Mike yawns and covers his mouth. “Is it too cheesy to say I already miss you?”

“Maybe, but I miss you, too, so you don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

A sleepy smile curls itself on Mike’s lips. “One week, Byers; one week and then I’m back.”

“Yeah, but don’t spend your time counting down the days, alright? I’ll do that for us both; you just have a great time at the cabin.”

Mike would kiss him if he could. “I’ll try my best but you know how my brain works.”

“Are you telling me it actually does work?”

“I’m breaking up with you.” Will laughs heartily. “Why are you laughing; I’m serious this time.”

“Sure, Wheeler.” Mike frowns as the last bit of his name gets caught in static. “Hey, I know this is probably something that should wait until you’re back but this separation made me realize I should tell you either way.”

“This sounds pretty important.”

“Yeah. I, uh, you probably already know this though but,” and Will takes a deep breath and releases it, though Mike hears it in short, split crackles. “Mike, I love you.”

The clarity in those four words stuns Mike into speechlessness and his mouth dries as his heart thumps speedily in his chest. Will is right, Mike already knows Will loves him, but this is the first time Will has ever said the fact out loud. I love you echoes in Mike’s head at the reverb levels of a rock guitarist. It takes far too long for his brain to come back online, but by the time it does, the car speeds past a brush of trees and the call suddenly drops. Mike looks down at his phone screen as the loud call dropped tone passes through his headphones. His home screen—a playfully disgruntled selfie as Will kisses his cheek—stares him back in the face as Will’s voice continues to bounce about in his head.

Mike, I love you.

Mike quickly calls back but his phone spits back the message that he has no service. “Nancy,” he hisses even though the entire car heard his part of his conversation with Will anyway, “do you have any service on your phone? I need to call Will back and my phone is being homophobic.”

Nancy raises her eyebrows but checks phone and shakes her head. “Looks like you’re straight out of luck.”

“Ha; you’re quite the comedian, aren’t you.” Mike reaches forward to tap his mom’s arm. “Mom, can I borrow your phone to finish a call?”

“Sorry, sweetie, I’ve lost service, too. I don’t think any of us can use internet on our phones.”

“Does the cabin at least have wifi?”

“Nope,” snorts Mike’s dad as he drives the car down a dirt road further into the forest. “You kids these days need to learn what life is like without cell phones anyway.”

Mike rolls his eyes and mumbles under his breath, “Okay, boomer.”

“What was that, young man?”

“Okay, bummer.” Nancy bites on her bottom lip and Mike sends her a grin before settling in his seat.

Their mom reaches a hand back to rest on Mike’s knee. “It’s only 7 days, Michael. I’m sure both you and Will can last that long without contact.”

He told me he loves me, Mom, he wants to explain but Will’s words are too fresh and far too private to blurt out in front of the whole family. He crosses his arms silently and turns to stare out the window, hoping that Will can wait out these next few days and hoping he doesn’t think Mike hung up on him after such an important conversation. I love you, too, he thinks to himself, smiling as he presses his hand against the chilly window and imagines Will on the other side as if the car window is the window in Will’s room and Will’s inside watching Mike with that ever so lovestruck grin filled with appreciation that Mike came over despite the cold night to comfort Will from the nightmares that occasionally plague him to this day.

I love you, Will, he repeats inwardly, wait for me.

[jakeperalta]

Thanks for talking to me and understanding and everything nice you said. I think Folklore is a great first step to this kind of songwriting. I dont know if that's something she wants right now or for the next album. A lot of people say they want a Folklore part 2 but she never does the same thing twice. In the future, I think she could write an amazing musical..either with an album of hers that's a full story eventually or an awesome jukebox musical. She worked with Andrew Lloyd Webber so I can dream lol. Do you think a full album with a somewhat connected story would be successful tho? Also What do you think about some people saying that something is off with Taylor? They were saying this cuz she didnt say anything about Biden winning the election. I personally dont agree with that or dont think anything but there were a lot of posts saying they are worried about her. I think maybe cuz she knew this magazine interview was coming and she wanted a total surprise. Also was the Capital One commercial supposed to be a clue to that or? Why did it show Easter eggs of Folklore?

Omg sorry I'll space this out now. What did you think of the interview? I know it happened a month ago but to me she seemed fine and pretty happy but I guess we dont know. She said she read Rebecca..I only watched the movie but now wondering if the book is worth it but I'm not a big fan of older books. Didnt you mention reading it too? Anyway I loved how it seemed mostly like a normal conversation lol cuz she kinda shared a lot, and it's so crazy that she will be as legendary as Paul McCartney one day so who knows where her career will go. One thing she said in the interview confused me though. She mentioned how she only wrote the topline of Folklore and idk what that means. I asked my sister who knows about music and she didnt know either..cuz she also said she didnt write any of the music and I always found that weird. Is that just because of quarantine..doesnt she usually write instrumentals or at least how the song sounds? Omg I just thought of a cool song idea that Taylor could do. Like a princess trapped in a castle..kinda has the theme of isolation in quarantine. It could be a part 2 or more grown up version of Love Story about how she had to break out or be free, kinda like Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore and if it was anything like that sonically I'd die. Maybe she is past songs like that about fairytales or even proving people wrong but I think it's a fun idea. Sorry this is long again..I sometimes wonder if other people read what I write and think I'm crazy lol. I hope you dont mind me talking about Taylor so much cuz you're not a full Taylor blog.

ok i’m just gonna put my answer under a read more because it got very long for people to scroll past lol

yeah i think a musical written by her would be amazing! andrew lloyd webber actually said himself that she could write a great musical so we can hope! i think that kind of album would be maybe less commercially successful (especially in the era of streaming and people listening to individual songs more than albums as a whole) but she’s definitely at the stage in her career where she can go a bit more out there creatively without necessarily worrying about sucess.

honestly i’m not worried about taylor either, she’s said herself she’s enjoying having a more private life and it’s healthy sometimes to take some time being less active on social media. she’s still popping up with various little videos for different awards/events so it’s not like she’s gone into full hiding. i have no idea what the capitol one easter eggs are hinting at but knowing taylor i’m sure it’s something!

i really liked the interview, it was nice to get a bit more insight into the process that led to folklore and just like where she’s at now! i read rebecca in the summer and loved it so i recommend, i think as far as classics go it’s pretty easily readable and doesn’t feel really outdated (and i love that taylor also read it in lockdown!). writing the topline means she wrote the lyrics whereas aaron dessner wrote the music, so he would send her an instrumental and she’d add the lyrics on top (i think with jack it’s usually a bit more collaborative in terms of lyrics/production but i’m not sure if that’s the same with folklore). i think she probably did it as a way to sort of experiment with a different type of genre and sort of try a different way of writing. i know that it was the same with cruel summer, where jack and st vincent wrote the track then taylor wrote the lyrics/melody on top. that sounds like such a good concept! i think it would be cool for her to revisit the fairytale type vibes from some of her earlier songs from like a more grown up perspective.

[lesbianbernardsumner]

Hey! Its thing >:)!

Its the thing i was teasing at in that post last night, and technically for like... four months? five? huh its been a bit since i second changed my url huh. Im not gonna go check or anything. If I were a bit more patient i wouldve waited for the archive collection become canon but im not. funfacterdroid is just more of my bran! Anyway! This post is my first impressions and opinions on each song on Back to the Egg! The Wings album i temporarily renamed myself after. (told ya i was gonna ramble wasnt i ydbfyufjd). It also happens to be the only wings album i havent listened to yet. And sure theres a bunch of singles and b-sides i havent listened to either, but this is the last one! I figured it should get some of its own treatment! I know that its gonna sound different to London Town and the two before it, cause McCulloch and English arent here. I’ve also heard that this album is bad and people called Paul a sellout because he transitioned to New Wave. New Wave is my favorite genre and I guess Wings werent ever that far from it? But they’re still a rock band at heart so i dont know how that change is going to fare. Enough introduction: Lets just go track by track! -Side One: Sunny Side Up-

Reception: Its just some radio garble, an instrumental meant to introduce the album. dont really have any opinions on it. Getting Closer: JAHBUDHSAUHJDHS WOAH WOAH WOAH!!! I didnt expect such a threatening title to be so upbeat. Like... opposite of Beware My Love. I do think its odd that there is barely any backup singing? Its not horrible just weird that this song, out of all the openers, doesnt. That outro is very much meant to be like a darker part of the song, like the dream sequence from A Day In The Life, but god dammit this song is just so upbeat! so weirdly cheerful and gentle! And... only 3 minutes? Rockshow and Jet were 4... eh those albums had a lot less songs, this one has 13 not counting Reception! Same as London Town, which i also really like! We’re Open Tonight: Oooohhh!! Very soft, I think I know what its about but when taken literally, to me it sounds like a quaint little shop trying to lure you in, sinisterly. I think the bass is making it sound evil to me, but thats a great thing! Clearly its trying to be like another I’m Carrying but that song fucking sucks!!!!!! I also really like how its only 1 minute, something so haunting about it. Not sure if thats positive or negative but the songs cool! Spin It On: hHEHEYEHY!! Getting Closer.... 2! kinda. Its much much faster and i can barely understand the words hes saying... or what hes spinning. The backing vocals are really cool though. the lyrics mention a pinball table? Y.. you know pinball doesn't spin right? it falls.... Questionable lyrics aside, theres really not a lot of SPEEDY Wings songs! Glad that one of the few is also extremely good!

Again and Again and Again: WOW OKAY! this is sung by denny, all of these songs start pretty fast unlike a good chunk of their past work, but i really like that! But it also means i cannot process a single thing denny is saying, i think he said something about a school? and being in a bad situation? ah whatever. Denny used to be in an R&B band and i really think thats going to work here! This isnt an exactly a Rhythm-y or Bluesey song, but He’s clearly having fun! thats why i love wings in general, its easy to tell that the band was having fun recording a song! Old Siam, Sir: A-hmm. Paul’s doing his squeaky voice again... I guess that can work sometimes but its absolutely not complimenting the piano in the background. Also, I feel like a squeaky voice wouldnt work the best for a story song. A story thats pretty incomprehensible too? Who is this lady! What the fuck is this village!! This is the song you wanted to make 4 minutes? and it fades out too... how much did they record... Arrow Through Me: So this is the one that the critics liked? Its the most synth heavy which i understand why people like, I like synths too! I like how the bass (which i think is also from a synth?) lines up perfectly with the horns! Its alright, it might grow on me later, but now its just a passable song. One i wouldnt skip. Plus I really like the reverb effects, the whole album has em but this one really makes use!! Kinda bad overall though.

-Side Two: Over Easy- Rockestra Theme: Just an instrumental. But one thats really important to music history! I don’t actually know the full story to this one, but I do know that i really like it! Plus the vocal effects on Paul’s... Scatting i guess you could call it? Whatever it is, it works! To You: This sounds... eerily like Getting Closer. But bad... Eh I like that organ. Not much to say really... theres only like one verse. After the Ball / Million Miles: Oh cool another medley. Last one we got was two albums ago! I guess since this is technically two songs id have to... review them both? After the Ball is exactly what it sounds like. A gentle rock song about seeing your love after a party :)! Pretty standard for wings. Million Miles! Sounds a lot like After the Ball but with an accordian? Fuck I’m not complaining. But also who the fuck is Deo. Winter Rose / Love Awake: Uh- Something is,,, wrong with Paul’s voice. like he damaged it? I mean its not horrible it just kinda takes me out of the emersion? Oh we’re already on Love Awake! his voice is fine now..! Man this song is mediocre! No wonder the 70s are regarded as lame./lh Weird that Linda isn’t singing backup here? Or if she is that Denny’s voice is just drowning her out. Winter Rose itself is kinda lame but its... sweeter I guess?  The Broadcast: SINISTER!!!!!!! I do not know who is talking but this sounds... dystopian. I don’t even know what the poem is about its just... the whole song is slightly off. But i mean that in a good way! So Glad to See You Here: MAN! They were trying so hard to be punk... Okay as a punk song this sounds horrible! But as a song in general i like it! It’s not mixed the best but i really like the lyrics! And I-HOLY SHIT WE’RE OPEN TONIGHT PART TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really didnt expect that,,, thats.... genuinely cool! Baby’s Request: Oh the finale! H..huh... Jazzy! And its about going to sleep.. i think? Regardless, Paul’s good at writing songs to fall asleep to, this isnt an exception at all!! Although it is weird that at the end the same horn plays as the one in Thrillington’s Monkberry Moon Delight... Its probably just a coincidence, i thought it was funny though. ---- Okay! Overall, I liked Sunny Side-Up more as a whole since i like 4/6 of its songs, but MAN So Glad to See You Here and Baby’s Request are REALLLY GOOD-But then again. I only listened to all of these songs once, and i wont listen to them again until ive finished writing this post, just to keep my first impressions fresh. I don’t really know what else to say that album was fun as hell! So I’d give Back To The Egg a... 7.8/10! I really didnt expect to like it this much. even though New Wave is my favorite music genre, i didnt think paul would be able to do it justice! Especially since the genre was just starting itself up... heh.... hope it gets archived soon.

[allyredlover]

My thoughts about folklore

Cardigan MV: MAGICAL, the water scene? So cool, I love the piano being the lifeline

The 1: piano? I love her,, TAYLOR SAYING SHIT,, chill vibes, lover but like this love kind of, “roaring 20s tossing pennies in the pool” , “if my wishes were true it would’ve been you,,” I love the background vocals, the lyricism are incredible. “The greatest loves of all time are over now” “in my defense I HAVE NONE” background vocals again! Bridge! Persist and resist?

Cardigan: percussion in the back? second part of first verse talking about rep? Levi’s and the iiiiii part? Hand under my sweatshirt?? miss TAYLOR! the BRIDGE, “stars around my scars but now I’m bleeding” the parts about knowing what would happen, the sweetness of nostalgia

The Last Great American Dynasty: tension——the DRUM beat, upbeat? This is a story? Feeling like starlight, who is this about? Is this that mad woman from the later bit? Pool in champagne, like TIWWCHNT! It’s picking up! I kind of really like the chorus, like really really like it. MARVELOUS is my new favorite word I think

Exile: piano! And this is a feature, so chill, like I want to float in a pool with this playing like the feeling of contentment this is giving me.”I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending” the bridge, is so cool and it’s very pretty, Taylor’s voice is so so so pretty in this, very like the chorus after the bridge in Treacherous. “We always walked a very thin line” HAUNTED REFERENCE

My tears ricochet: the background! And it stops! It’s traveling earbud to earbud! Why do I feel like I’m going to cry? “Even on my worst day, did I deserve all the hell you gave me...I loved you...til my dying day” Cold as You who? “Same jewels I have you as you buried me” the word and imagery of this ALBUM “CURSING MY NAME WISHING I STAYED” YES YOU CAN GO WHERE YOU WANT “BUT JUST NOT HOME” OH MY GOD I-“BUT NOW IM SCREAMING AT THE SKY” “YOULL HEAR MY STOLEN LULLABIES” I love this “BATTLESHIPS” AND IT PICKS UP “you had to kill me but it KILLED YOU JUST THE SAME” good god this song is so good like

Mirrorball: please man I need a pick me up,, 70S VIBES FROM THE VOCALS, what is a mirror ball? Ah, thank you Taylor. “Hush, when no one is around my dear” is so pretty “on my tallest tiptoes, spinning my highest heels, love, shining just for you” so pretty the vocals on that part. “I CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME JUST TO FIT IN” yes taylor you ARE A DISCO BALL GET INTO IT 💃🏼 SHINING JUST FOR YOU is so happy it makes me so happy, this is such like a happy song but like at the same time so freaking sad, so bittersweet

Seven: Aw this is so sweet, ah the snaps in the back is so cute! This is about her childhood! How cute!! “SWEET TEA IN THE SUMMER CROSS YOUR HEART CANT TELL NO OTHER” SLAPS this the second VERSE oh my god I’m gonna cry from that “why your dads always mad...you won’t have to cry” “I love you to the moon and Saturn” 🥺

August: chill and beachy vibes from the lyrics,!! THE CHORUS! AH! LOVE IT! “Cuz it was never mine” “CUZ YOU WERE NEVER MINE” “for me it was ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL” “CUZ YOU WERE MINE TO LOSE” is so beautiful!! Yes taylor bring back the OUTRO yesss outros make me so damn happy “meet me behind the mall” “cancelling my plans just in case you called” STRINGS IN THE BACK I REPEAT STRINGS IN THE BACK IM SO HAPPY I LOVE ORCHESTRAL THINGS

This is Me Trying: ooooooh I like it so far the beat and instrumentation “but I’m here in your doorway” THAT WAS FROM BEFORE IN THE ALBUM (I’m too tired to remember which song but IT WAS THERE IM NOT SLEEP DEPRIVED) “at least youre trying” sounds HEAVENLY DIVINE IMMACULATE MARVELOUS the movie references! That was a thing! THAT WAS A THING! “At least I’m trying✨”

Illicit Affairs: guitar! Guitar! Taylor! With a guitar! “Ends with meetings in parking lots” “born with just a single glance but it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times” leaving no trace behind? Oooh is she the other woman or something man this is sad

“LOOK AT THIS GODFORSAKEN MESS YOU MADE ME” “LOOK AT THIS IDIOTIC FOOL YOU MADE ME” “and you know damn well for you I would ruin myself” the pain, the anguish, death by a thousand cuts

Invisible String: interesting backing, we’re doing some fun rainbows,, I love how “clues” sounds I want that repeated until my death, ahahahaha Taylor yes reference yourself, SHE SAID I LOOKED LIKE AN AMERICAN SINGER; dive bar? Delicate who? Too many references that this isn’t about her and joe, DEEP BLUE BUT YOU PAINTED ME GOLDEN!

Mad Woman: please tell me this is about the last great American dynasty? Or is it an allusion to the Kanye and the scooter stuff? TAYLOR SAYS FUCK! AH! “And you find something to wrap your noose around” and also the piano? can you tell yet that I like piano? “AND WOMEN LIKE HUNTING WITCHES TOO” omg THIS IS about KANYE AND KIM, IDSB, THIS IS ABOUT KANYE AND KIM. “COUPLE SIDE THINGS” THROW THAT SHADE THROW IT THROW IT THROW IT! MAATHBP but like make it about 2016s snakegate

Epiphany: track 13! SO CHILL, SO CHILL, LOVE THIS, LOVEEEEEE LOVE LOVE LOVE, LOVE LOVE LOVE. The vibes are IMMACULATE, the LYRICS, love it love it LOVE IT. WHAT oh my GOSH this is high key so SAD “DOC I THINK SHES CRASHING” DONT DIE NO ‘only 20 minutes to sleep?’ WHAT DOES IT MEAN? “Watch you bleeding OUT” NO, the background vocals I love this though, good god, HEARTBEAT BACKGROUND MY GOD NO THEYRE GONNA DIE ARENT THEY? It’s fading? Are they dying? Am I reading this wrong? Idc I love it

Betty: this is written with that William guy who doesn’t exist. HARMONICA, folkkkkkkk. “The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you” HOLY SHOOT, mentioning summer! is this the guy that CHEATED? OH NO THE POOR OTHER GIRL AND POOR BETTY THIS IS SO SAD also the guiTAR! KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE! oh my god the CARDIGAN,

Peace: ooh I’m anxious. THE GUITAR RIFF? Love IT, “If your cascade, ocean wave blues come//All these people think love's for show//But I would die for you in secret” “sit with you in the trenches” GIVE YOU A CHILD? SEE YOUR BROTHER AS MY BROTHER, THIS IS ABOUT TAYLOR AND JOE :))))) “you have a friend in me” vs “it’s nice to have a friend”. She could never give him peace because she’s a celebrity obviously, which is what I think this about

Hoax: last song on standard,, PIANO? LYRICS? I’m literally not even going to list them they’re all beautiful, but the vocals on “Stood on the cliffside screaming, ‘Give me a reason’ Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in” slight of hand? Card sharks playing games? please this is so sad, she sounds so SAD in the BRIDGE god, “but what you did was just as dark”

The Lakes: how do I listen to it? Lmao can’t find it and I’m tired

Wow Taylor outdid herself with the lyrics on this album, absolutely incredible, and the vibe is so chill but like sad and it’s like if Safe and Sound and Lover (the album) had a baby, but like with the sad songs on red, like Sad Beautiful Tragic fits right in here. Anyways I love it to pieces. Good night y’all 💗

[enchantred]

folklore reactions

the 1: i totally called the tone of this album. I also love how all the album is in lowercase. this is such a sweet song! melancholy but beautiful. however, joe???? is she good? are they good? um hello I need to do some research about who this is about bc its beautiful but also sad. God I love Taylor Swift. She truly is the greatest songwriter of this century. 

cardigan: I’m really excited about this one tbh. nice into? YESS LANA VIBES. dark edgy rep mood and im here. how is this album already better than lover? also is she okay again? like i need to know about my girl. if this album doesnt win a grammy im going to riot. I love how poetic this album is. I didn’t really understand the black and white but I think I understand it now. 

the last great american dynasty: from the title im hoping also lana vibes but lets see. okay halsey 929 vibes in the beginning.  love the storytelling. I love this album so far. is this about the kennedys? is this about her past relationships? wait it totally is! marvelous? rhode island? or wait this is tiwwchnt? is this a reflection on her friendships? i’m so curious. Love the background instrumentals. wait no i’m wrong this is about her house? or the lucky one? i too had a marvelous time ruining everything also this is a mood

exile: I’m not the biggest fan of bon iver so i’m not too excited about this one, but i’m open to it, I guess. This is very The Last Time of her and I love that song so. oh no sad again. you were my crown now im in exile! no no please taylor be happy im going to straight up cry. I really hope she’s doing okay, but this song is beautiful. okay some quick research and taylor and joe are still together and apparantly he wrote things which makes sense 

my tears ricochet: very its nice to have a friend of her. okay i def hear the jack antonoff in this song. another sad song. :(  Wait yes here comes the orchestra why is this speak now x 1989? im here for this part of the song for sure.  florence inspo for sure.  

mirrorball: wait this is very fearless era is it not lmao? like the vocals are floaty and seem younger. okay this is sweet. yes begin again vibes I love it!!! yes empowerment and happiness!!!!! this is my favorite so far. This is what Me! wishes it was. hush! this is so relaxing. tbh i did think she said “im still on my toilet” instead of “tallest” so lets see if anyone else makes this mistake.  wait THIS IS THE LUCKY ONE PART 2. beautiful 10/10

seven: this is about the lover album going to call it. okay why does this literally not sound like her at all? wait im so wrong. like this is fairies in the field and she sounds like an irish folk singer from the 90s. this is cute. cottagecore lesbians on tiktok are going to use this sound for sure lmao. who does she sound like? ok i am not a fan of this song just going to put that out here now its kinda boring. 

august: if theres not an upbeat song on this album i will freak out. ugh another slow song. wait this is happy! yay! very beautiful kiss for him. why do i get like past romance vibes from this? (tom????) we love yearning. cruel summer who?also fearless vibes from this too.

this is me trying: based on the title im worried again? i almost do who???? I got wasted like all my potential ugh mood. why can’t she have the album booklet secret sentences again i sure hope she does omg. call it what you want also. 

ilicit affairs: now this has got to be about the getaway car triangle. can i be right about one thing. yearning again, but nice this time too. HIM! this is very red era and I don’t know how to feel about it. treacherous inspired this for sure. okay this is my favorite because its lowkey a diss track. dear john vibes also!

invisible string: never grow up vibes. however, I still need to know if taylor is okay like genuinely because i’m scared lmao. I hate it when people are sad esp her and like her albums define my life a bit so if shes sad im sad? bad blood lmao. aww time heals everything, this is so cute i sure hope shes happy. we love a self referencing queen. 

mad woman: the man part 2? oooh swear words. is this about k*nye? is this about k*m? wanting me dead has really brought you too together? who else? ive got to find some fan theories omg

epiphany: the 1975 vibes? i swear if this is instrumental.. okay why does this sound like a small british child singing in choir. its really beautiful though, no insult meant I just don’t really listen to music like this ever. its not really my aesthetic but I can appreciate it. 

betty: my friend freaked out about this song so from her reaction its got to be either confirmation of Kaylor/taylor being gay, the song is some weird genre thats not taylor, shes pregnant, or just really deep lyrics that hit differently? lets see. wait COUNTRY TIME? YO. oh no what did she did to betty? wait i feel uncomf. whats abigails opinion on this i need to know, were they friends? yikes friend breakup i’ve been there. is this from someone else’s perspective i gotta know. yay she goes to the party!!! wait what cardigan? whats happening im so ??

peace: interesting......this is beachy I love it? its nice to have a friend vibes again. she sounds like.. not herself? this is so different from everything she’s done before I need to sit with it and listen to it before i understand. clowns to the west. her voice sounds so beautiful here and so mature? i honestly was ready for this era after rep but not right now? idk how I feel about it. 

hoax: not s single upbeat song :(((((. faithless love??? not cute. is she going to perform any of these live i cant really imagine it. new york? aw no she’s sad my baby girl. hmm. don’t like this one. the vibes are great but I just dont like them. 

[angrylizardjacket]

and then there was light [4] {Roger Taylor}

A/N: 5060 words. part 4? part 4. it’s a bit of a darker one and before you ask, there will be a part 5, you know i wouldn’t end it on a cliffhanger and do you dirty like that.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

The moment Roger steps foot into the meeting about the design of the shows for the upcoming American legs of the ‘Night at the Opera’ world tour, he’s pretty sure he’s already mentally checked out. Freddie’s doing all the talking, to literally no-one’s surprise; the man has big ambitions for his own costumes, and knows the other guys will pipe up about their own needs when they get to meet with just the costume designer. John Reid brings up the technical requirements, Roger’s got the ‘galileo’s from Bohemian Rhapsody playing on repeat in his head as he stares into the middle distance, and it’s Deaky who sits forward.

“We’ve got a pretty solid idea for the lights; Freddie and I have been consulting with a designer in America; she’s freelance, used to work for EMI, she’s reliable.” He assures, and Roger’s thinking ‘hey that sounds familiar’ but Reid seems satisfied and they’re already moving on to the staging and sound equipment needed. 

Roger doesn’t connect the dots at first; it’s been almost four years since that fateful American tour, and they’ve had other tours come and go since, and as far as the others are concerned, they’re pretty sure he hasn’t spared you a thought since arriving home at the end of that tour. But he does, even if he doesn’t mean to.

The tour after you’d quit working for EMI, someone drops a parcan side of stage, and his heart is in his throat when he realises he was waiting to hear you yell ‘okay that one wasn’t my fault’ or something similar. All he hears is a faint apology, and a call from someone to get a broom. The scheduling’s different this time around, he can’t even have a cigarette in an empty theatre without some stagehand buzzing back and forth, or a band member trotting across the stage as they practice. It would be so much easier to lay on the stage if the rest of them were confined to one place while they played, like he was behind the drums. It’d be boring as shit, he would be the first to acknowledge that, but it would mean he would get stepped on less during lunch, and that’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make with the toe of Freddie’s shoe poking at his waist.

Nothing serious had come his way in that time, or rather, he’d never found anyone who could hold his attention for more than a week or two. People became dreadfully boring when all they wanted to do was faun over him and fuck him; not that it wasn’t fun at first, it was always fun at first, but there was a lack of variety, a sinking sensation that these people were more attracted to the idea of him that left a sour aftertaste.

But now he’s here, new company, new album, second leg of the new tour, new chance to sample all different women across this great nation. He’s already a little tipsy from his multiple jack and coke’s on the plane when they land, and he’s passed out on the tour bus before it even gets to the first tour stop. Once in Conneticut, he’s dragged from the bus, and informed that as soon as the tech crew had finished their meeting, they could start loading in their instruments. 

“How long have they been here?” Brian asks the stage hand, and the guy shrugs. 

“A couple of hours; the Floor Tech wanted the drum risers set up before she gave the brief.” He tells them as he lead the band in to the theatre, where most of the crew were milling about on stage. 

“She always did have a flare for the dramatic.” John says with a grin where his eyes were trained on the stage, and Freddie hums in agreement, which only serves to confuse Roger further until he sees an all too familiar figure climbing the drum risers with a clipboard in hand.

“Alright guys, can I have your attention, please?” Even after all these years, the sound of your voice hits Roger square in the chest. “I wanna make this as quick and painless as possible, so after today we can bump in and bump out without any hassles.” You addressed the crowd with an easy confidence from your place at the top of the drum risers, tapping your nails against the back of the clipboard in your hands, wearing the overalls he’d seen you in so many times before.

“You can call me Spotlight; I’m the Head Floor Tech for the tour, as well as lighting designer; those of you on my lighting team, you’ve got a copy of the lighting plan, and I’ll be talking to you about how we’re gonna run it after this. Next time, I’ll get some help from the stage hands to set up the drum risers, I had a few people help me today to get them set up early, but that’s just because I like being tall.” With a sharp grin you pause as a titter of laughter spreads around the group, “stage management team, you’re in charge of making sure side of stage is set up with anything the band needs, and that it’s clear of unnecessary clutter and people, and running cabling for the sound guys; they’ll tell you what they need.”

After a beat, you look around the gathered crowd, and nod firmly, a gesture which a few of them return.

“If you have any questions, remember; find your Light.” You point directly at yourself. “We break for lunch at one, but until then we’ve got a lot to get through; let’s get rockin’.” Grinning brightly, you hop down from the risers into the crowd of crew members, ushering a bunch, each holding a sheet of paper, off to the side, as the others scattered like cockroaches under light.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” Roger finally finds his voice where he’s still standing, a little dumbstruck, alone in the aisle of the theatre where the others had left him behind.

“Didn’t you hear her speech? Spotlight’s our lighting designer.” Freddie calls over his shoulder, eyes wide and innocent, as if he hadn’t set this all up without thinking to mention it to Roger.

“Our what now?” He splutters, jogging a little to catch up to the other band members as they made their way towards the stage. He’s not quite sure what he’s doing, or what will happen when he gets their; the last thing you’d said to him was that you were stupid to think he was above his reputation, while you were in tears, and then it had been three years of nothing. He’s not going to run, at least he’s pretty sure he’s not; he’s self aware enough to know he was in the wrong last time you spoke, that he was an asshole, but he’s not going to be a coward. Not again.

“That was quite the speech.” John waits patiently until the crew who made up the lighting team had dispersed before addressing the familiar face at the centre. You turn, eyes bright and smile brighter, casually making your way towards him and the rest of the band.

“Yeah, I really feel in my element, you know?” It’s with an easy familiarity that you pull John into a hug, giving him a firm squeeze. “Good to finally see you again.” And then you’re hugging Freddie, and then Brian, and you stop short in front of Roger. It’s a stalemate, neither one wanting to be the first to look away, but both unsure of what to do. In the end, you don’t even offer him a handshake, just nod, and you turn back to the others.

“How’s Pippin been?” Freddie asks, and you’re about to answer, but Roger cuts in.

“Hang on, can someone fill me in here? Lovely to see you, by the way, just a little confused as to how you got here.” He says, and you’re lost for words, just blinking rapidly, trying to process the whole situation.

“Did you not tell him I was working with you guys?” Your words come out incredulous as you turn your gaze upon John and Freddie, who seem just as bewildered as you.

“I thought he’d cotton on when I mentioned an American designer who used to work for EMI.” John mused, turning his gaze on Roger, who frowned, thinking back to the initial meeting he’d just mentioned.

“I did,” Brian piped up, before casting a smile at John and Freddie that was just a little bit confused, “though I wasn’t a part of this little setup.” He tried to reassure the drummer.

“In my defense,” Roger started, before his gaze dropped, “I wasn’t paying attention, design isn’t exactly my forte.” He admitted, and you had to shake your head at that, exasperated and already a exhausted.

“Pippin’s good.” You go back to John’s initial question. Pippin isn’t so much a person as it is a touring version of a Broadway musical that had opened a year ago, to great success.

It turns out a written letter of recommendation from both the lead singer, and bass player of Queen goes rather far in the industry. After taking some time for yourself, you call up EMI to beg them not to fire you, however it turns out you needn’t have; both John and Freddie had given glowing reports of your work ethic and skill, and the man on the other end of the line is just eager to know when you were next available. 

The moment you’re on site next, they tell you you’ve been promoted to Floor Tech; they hand you a roll of gaff tape and a drill and a whole new set of responsibilities, heaped onto your usual load. You don’t even remember who had been performing, the tour had only lasted a month, all you know is that they were calling you Spotlight from the moment you’d arrived; apparently it was what Freddie had called you, and John had to clarify.

John is the first to contact you again, through EMI of course, and he becomes something of a comfort when you consider taking your career beyond the company that kept you firmly in the one position on tour. Freddie calls you less often, and never about business; it’s John who gives you the courage to leave EMI, and he’s the one who helps set up as a freelance theatre and event crew member. 

People had been head hunting you from tour to tour, beyond even EMI, some smaller acts even giving you the full Lighting Designer role. They expect you to sit back, let a stage hand or an assistant to take care of it, but every time you watch someone else focus a spot, your fingers itch to be doing it yourself. Dedicated to a fault, Roger had once called you, you think about it every time you climb an unsteady ladder, and think perhaps that he’s right.

The moment Pippin announces it’s tour, and puts out calls for crew, you’re first in line for the job, putting your hat in the ring for lighting, but happy enough to take any crew role. Not that you don’t love working with bands, but there’s a certain finesse that comes with theatre lighting that you can’t get anywhere else in the world. After two years, and the support of both John and Freddie, you find yourself as the assistant Lighting Designer, as well as Head Floor Tech, and once you step foot onto the tour bus, everything else becomes history.

Speaking of history, later in the day, after the rest of the crew have broken for lunch, you’re wedged under the drum risers, running some cables, when you hear someone climb up them, taking a seat at the drums.

“If you play one beat-” You’re cut off by Roger’s yell of surprise, as he’s so startled he almost falls off his chair.

“Holy shit, who is that?” He’s breathing heavily, voice panicked, and for a moment you take pleasure imagining clutching his hand to his chest like a delicate, little grandmother.

“Take a wild stab in the dark,” you mutter, unwedging yourself from beneath the structure, raising an eyebrow as you look at him. Almost immediately he’s frowning, and you’re thrown back to the moment almost three years ago where you’d been here before, looking up at him from behind the drum risers after you’d changed out the light mid-show. Clearing your throat loudly, you break the moment, getting to your feet and making your way to the side of the stage.

“What are you doing here?” He calls, watching idly as you go about counting out fly lines until you get to the one you’d been looking for. You’d gotten here early to go through the fly-line procedure with the Duty Tech for the venue, and now you lowered the LX bar it was attached to with ease after making sure there was no-one in the way. Your focus made something in his chest tighten, and he feels like he’s being taken back in time; you’re beautiful when you work, passionate and skilled, meticulous, that hadn’t changed. Roger has to look away.

“My job,” and you just sound tired when you say it, already securing the meticulously placed lights onto the bar you’d just lowered, going along and fixing them to the metal in a neat line. An uncomfortable silence spreads between you, punctuated only by the scrape of metal against metal, and the rattle of the safety chains.

“What are you doing here?” You don’t even try to hide the snippiness from your voice, not even turning to look at his as the accusatory words hang in the air.

“I’m having a smoke in what I thought was going to be relative peace, it’s something I do, okay?” Voice defensive, you hear the rustle of cardboard and hear the click of a cigarette, your annoyance growing with each passing moment.

“No, it’s what I do. It’s what I did three years ago, you just started showing up. You stole my relative peace.” You snapped, turning to him, a blazing fury in your eyes at his words, before your lip curled in disgust, “And you don’t even do anything with it.” You scoffed, and he went quiet, sulking behind his drum kit. Sensing he wasn’t got to talk back you turn back to your work.

The moment you turn away, he sees the way you heave a sigh, angry tension draining from your shoulders, a little hunched as you concentrated. Your hands shake a little as you fiddle with the safety chains. There’s still that confidence there, the ease with which you moved about the stage, but unlike around other people, when it was just Roger - though he suspected you were pretending he wasn’t there - you just looked... weary.

After that first town, he keeps his distance for a few stops, though the other band members look to keep you company on occasion. But then... he’s there again. Quiet this time, he just watches where you hold yourself like royalty at the top of a rickety ladder, so sure of yourself. He’d forgotten the sight of you in your element, and it hits him like a truck.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You snap when you chance a glance down and see his awestruck expression looking up at you. The shock comes when he actually looks abashed, averting his gaze, picking up his drumsticks and tapping out a rhythm that you’re pretty sure you recognise.

You’re both too stubborn to give the other one the peace of the theatre at lunch, however, while you’re content with stewing in silence as you worked, Roger, to no-one’s surprise, is not.

“How’ve you been?” He brings himself to ask. You stop where you’re replacing a gel on one of the drum riser lights, taking a long moment to consider your words carefully.

“Busy.” Tired. The subtext comes through loud and clear, despite your short answer, and once you’d finished with the light, you stand, before taking a moment to stretch your back out from behind hunched over.

“Working a lot?” I can tell. He answers after a long pause, almost sympathetic, and you know he’s not really responding to the words you’d said out loud.

“Yeah, non stop.” No subtext, just responding at face value, before your eyes up to the mostly finished rig. Afternoons were for last minute fixes and focusing, there wasn’t much left you could do, unless you were willing to ask for Roger’s help.

“When did your last thing end?” He asks, and you click your tongue as you turn on your heel, burned out gel in your hand, heading for a bin.

“Two days before this one.” You admitted. When you’re met with silence, you turn, and Roger’s frowning at you, almost disbelieving.

“You’re not still sleeping on the tour bus, are you?” He asks, and you roll your eyes before you tell him your accommodation is paid for this time around. You’re the first to leave, for the first time since everything had started, you leave halfway through to actually eat lunch, leaving Roger to himself.

When he’s drunk after the show, leaning against some local pub, with a girl leaning against him, heavy enough that the two of them would have tipped over if it wasn’t for the counter, he can’t get you out of his mind.

“I didn’t ruin her career.” His eyes go wide as the words, with something akin to revelation, escape him, and the girl makes a noise of confusion, her fingers ghosting over his chest, but he can’t even bring himself to enjoy it.

“I didn’t ruin her career!” He announces, excited and pleased in his inebriated state, sitting himself so forcefully on the arm of Freddie’s chair that he spills part of his drink. Freddie makes a noise of confusion, looking up at the blonde, and Roger gesticulates enough to spill more of his drink, ignoring Freddie’s yelp. “Spotlight! She said I’d ruined her career!” 

“When?” Freddie asks, just as John pops out from seemingly nowhere.

“Well you certainly didn’t help it. That was me.” Roger doesn’t care that John’s drunk, the way bassist says it, so serene and matter-of-fact, makes it sting just a little bit worse. His mood instantly flips.

“Can you piss off? Go be her best friend somewhere else.” Roger snapped, and he knew he’d regret being so sharp with John the following morning, but it seemed John himself knew that Roger was in a mood, and obligingly fucked off, seemingly not taking it to heart. “When we broke up, she accused me of ruining her career.” And he realises too late, when Freddie’s eyes go wide with realisation, that he’s said too much.

“Is this where you tell me exactly what went down between you two?” He asked, tapping Roger’s leg with excitement. The blonde, however, stood abruptly, glower on his face.

“No. Fuck off.” 

Roger spends almost fifteen minutes banging on the door of the tour bus before he remembers that you’re not in there, and falls into bed alone, fully clothed.

“The fuck did you say to Freddie last night?” The moment he steps foot onto the stage at lunch, you’re waiting for him, already livid. He’s tempted to turn and walk right back out the door. “Apparently he doesn’t know the real reason that I went home last ti- !” 

“Of course he doesn’t!” Roger snapped back, on the defensive without a moment’s hesitation. “It makes me look like a fucking wanker and he’d kick my ass; he adores you!” And that was enough to shock you into silence, grip loosening on the gaff tape in your hands. “They all do.” He said, and your expression turns unreadable.

“I know.” You finally said, a new, strange quality to your voice, it’s something akin to shock, but not quite, and Roger doesn’t know what to say next. “What about you?” You finally ask, voice a little defensive. It hurts to see you look at him with such a judgemental eye, though he’s well aware he deserves it.

“Doesn’t matter, does it? I could apologise a thousand times and you’d still be pissy.” He huffs, and you cross your arms, cocking your hip.

“At least once would be nice.” You level a cold glare at him and his gaze snaps back at yours, surprised. “You never once apologised, you know that?” And your voice is low, hurt and honest. “Are you even sorry for what happened?”

“It was three years ago-” He sighs, but you cut him off, shifting your weight to your other foot, swallowing thickly.

“So that’s a no. Glad to see where you stand.” And you turn to cross the stage to where you’ve already got the ladder set up, but he makes his way to you in three long strides, making to grab at your upper arm. The moment he does, however, you whirl around, slapping him, hard. “I told you to never fucking touch me; did you think I forgot?” And he sees why you were so eager to leave; there’s tears in your eyes, so close to breaking and streaming down your cheeks, your lip trembling. Something about your voice is so raw, it hurts worse than the slap.

“I am sorry.” And he sounds so fucking sincere, but you just glare at him, unashamed where the tears have begun to track down your cheeks. 

“You had your chance to say sorry; you had your chance to beg for forgiveness, but you told me I could leave; so I did, and so did your fucking opportunity.” But you can’t bring yourself to step back, frozen in place where he’s less than a foot away. Every fibre of your being is betraying you, wanting to be around him, close to him, after what he did.

“I’m sorry what happened between us;” his voice is so level, carefully controlled, you know he’s think hard about what he’s about to admit, “I fucked up, I know that; I’m sorry. It was three years ago but I’m still sorry. I’ve been sorry for a long time now.”

“Since it happened?” You asked, and he didn’t drop your gaze, answering without flinching or hesitation.

“Since I started worrying I’d lose you; I know what I’m like, I knew what I’d end up doing.” He admitted, and the words clearly didn’t have his intended impact as you stumble back, free hand clutching your chest.

“And yet you still-” And quietly, so quietly you’re not even sure he hears it, the words come out as more of a defeated whimper than anything else; “How could you not tell I was in love with you?” 

He’s in shock, and you barge past him, leaving as you can no longer contain your aching heart, and you head to the hotel you were staying at down the road, taking the rest of the lunch break to cry.

When you return, the rest of the crew has filtered in, Roger looks guilty, and Freddie and John look about ready to commit violent homicide, which was unsurprising for Freddie, but there was something comforting about Deaky wearing the expression too. In less than a week, the whole crew knows, and wherever you go, you feel yourself followed by pitying stares, which won’t go away, no matter how hard you throw yourself into your work.

“You’re working yourself into the ground.” Roger tells you a week later, watching the way your arms tremble as you focus a light, and it takes you a moment to blink blearily at him. “Don’t forget the security chain.” He adds, and you scowl, before looking at the light itself, and hurriedly affix the security chain to the rig. You insist that you’re fine, making your way down the ladder to scoop up another parcan, but you almost immediately drop it. 

“I just need some food.” You try to insist, your hands shaking as you leave the light where it is.

You don’t come out after shows, and it’s not gone unnoticed. The rest of the crew think you’re just dedicated, personable for the most part but prone to bouts of standoffishness.

“Oh you should have seen her on our first tour,” Freddie muses to an enraptured crowd at an afterparty, a few crew members listening with a bright-eyed attention, “that woman risked life and limb for our show.” And he sounds so proud when he says it, but something twists uncomfortably in Roger’s gut.

Cracks don’t show around other people, Roger’s noticed; you’re smile’s bright enough and your voice is loud enough that they don’t see the way your hands shake. Or how tired your eyes are. But then there are moments, you stand as if in the eye of the storm, gaff tape and drill in hand, watching as people follow your instructions without question, and you look up to see Roger tweaking his drums, and the two of you share a look. It’s a little indecipherable, he’s concerned and you’re just... tired. He wants to offer to help, but as soon as the moment arrives, it’s passed, and you’re off to the next task.

The air between the two of you has lost it’s angry tension; after saying your peace, after hearing his apology, there’s no fight left. Just a lingering disappointment, a quiet like the moment after a world-weary sigh. You don’t have to pretend around Roger, you both know he’d see through it if you’d tried.

“You should come get a drink after; you look like you need it.” Roger laughs, but there’s no humour in it. Without missing a beat, you decline, you don’t even bother coming up with an excuse. 

“I’m worried about you.” The tour is almost three weeks in, and you’re asleep against the proscenium arch when he walks in. You wake with a start at the sound of his voice, reaching out for the light you’d been fiddling with before you’d passed out. When you look to him with confusion, he repeats himself slowly. “I’m worried about you; are you sleeping okay?” 

“As if that’s any of your business.” You snapped back, and Roger kept quiet. It only takes him a day to figure out that sleep isn’t really a luxury you allowed yourself; you were the last out every night after bump out, sometimes staying until two in the morning, and from what the crew said, you were always the first up, running through check lists, accident reports, and going over anything that needed maintenance. 

When Freddie asks you to come out with them after a gig, you find it difficult to say no, he helped get you this job after all, but you’re there for barely half an hour before Roger sees you slip out the side door, drink untouched.

John asks if you’re okay one afternoon when you drop a stack of gel frames without warning, jumping almost a foot in the air and looking like you’re about to break into tears from shock, but seems content when you explain you’re just tired. Tired doesn’t even begin to cover how overworked you are.

The night you finally decide to relax a little, bump out having been miraculously fast, you’ve got the next day off. The others cheer you on as you down drink after drink, the alcohol hitting you hard and quickly, and the world gets blurry as you find yourself on the dance floor. It’s easy to drink too much, because for the first time in a long time, you’re relaxed, not worrying about the pretty, dickhead blonde who worries about you when he really shouldn’t. 

You’re drunk enough to admit to yourself that part of you likes the attention he’s giving you, it feels like vindication for the heartache you went through all those years ago. Part of it’s not even vindictive, part of you just likes the way he looks at you, the way his smile made your heart beat just a little faster; you call that part a fucking traitor and have another drink.

You don’t remember leaving the bar, but you come back to your body when you’re leaning against a streetlight for support, halfway through telling someone to fuck off.

“Ya’ not my caretaker, Roger,” you sneer, “you don’t need to look after me or whatever this is. Go help groupies home or to hotel or whatever.” You spit, and push off from the light, turning on your heel, almost topple over, and right yourself.

“Light, that’s the wrong way.” He calls, exasperated, and you turn again, this time actually crashing to the ground and grazing your hand on the way, before you get to your feet. He’s come over to try and help you, but you swat him away.

“You don’t get to call me that.” You stalk ahead of him in the direction he had come from, back toward the hotel, and he follows only a few steps behind.

“Fine, Y/N; you’re legless, let me help.” And after a moment of intense eye contact, in which you try to weigh up your options, you begrudgingly loop your arm through his.

“You’re still on my shit-list.” You inform him, and he hums in acknowledgement. “Why are you doing this?” You follow it up with.

“I’m not the asshole who fucked you over three years ago, and I’m not gonna let you get yourself killed for this show.” He said through gritted teeth, and you just smiled, a little dreamily.

“But what a way to go.” And he came to an abrupt stop. It took you a moment to realise, and looking back, you tugged on his arm to keep him moving. He just frowned at you, a little concerned. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it.”

“If I have to fire you to get you to take a break-” He threatened, and you scoffed, expression turning bitter.

“I’ll drop a light on you.”

“You’ll drop a light on me by accident before then anyways!” He crowed, and your expression fell, contemplative. “Just let me help; what do I have to do to make you actually rest? What do I have to do to prove myself?”

[red-sterling]

thanks for answering!! i hope you don't mind if i send more charas...how about green and/or lillie?

fhgjkfdg aw yea thank u!! hopefully this doesn’t publish before i’m done typing lol

also this definitely needs a readmore bc i got emotional abt Green oops

Green

favorite thing about them

first of all: the fact that Green canonically has a rivals to best friends arc with Red fills me with so much joy and YES they are on their alolan honeymoon you cannot convince me otherwise

okay like. gen 1 Green just perfectly encompasses what it’s like to be a ten year old in a way? like ofc he’s written like a kid bc he is a kid, but i feel like the writing on him just feels so genuine as compared to some of the other 10 yr old rivals you get in other regions. even though he’s kinda a brat at the start, he kinda eases up a bit as you go along your journey and starts giving you progressively nicer/more praise-y end lines when you beat him (going from “i picked the wrong pokémon!” to “so, you are ready for boss rocket!”) but still retains this childlike rivalry and competitiveness and i love that about him

and like. fucking beating him at the Indigo League still completely breaks my heart because even after he did become the champion at age 10 the first thing that happens is you beat him and Prof Oak just yells at him for being bad at things and like. ow. 

this is why i headcanon that Red actually took awhile longer to get to Green like please. please give my boy a chance to be happy and proud

also Red was caught up with Team Rocket anyway so i imagine he must’ve fallen a little behind at some point? anyway

the development on him across regions is so choice!!! he’s so much more mellow and even kinda melancholic when you find him in gsc/hgss, like he’s calmed down over a few years and he obviously misses Red so much but like, it’s clear that Red is kinda the reason Green does settle down and he seems to have worked on his character and become a nicer person - and he still has that sassy flair to him! he’s just got that gradual slope from asshole rival to kinda aloof gym leader to friendly/sassy battle legend and aaaaa i love my boy so MUCH

also huge point: he’s so fucking driven??? he’s got the most drive and the most passion for battles/pokémon in general out of all the rivals i feel. he’s only closely matched by Silver, but Silver seems to be more aggressive than passionate, and somewhat out of necessity too (like, Giovanni abandoned him what was he to do), whereas Green just really like. he genuinely just cares so much about battles and about pokémon in general! he literally calls you in hgss and just rants about how many different kinds of pokémon there are in the world!!!

also in Alola he’s like???? just so sweet?????? he congratulates you and is like hey you’re really strong lets battle like!!!!!!!!! supportive boy!!!!! he has come so far over so many generations and i cry

also on Four Island when you play frlg he legitimately says “Be smelling ya!” when he leaves and how do you not love this idiot

least favorite thing about them

i mean. while i get that you beat Green right after he becomes the champion in the kanto games i feel like there should’ve been more pomp and circumstance for him and i’ll never forgive gamefreak for giving this boy his dream, then making you rip it away from him, and then watching his own gramps yell at him for fucking up like. again it’s that drive, i get why Red keeps such good pace w Green but i just feel like he worked so hard and he deserved so much better than that

also while i’m very biased towards him bc Big Emotions, i feel like if i knew this boy irl who was constantly i’m so great and you’re a loser i would probably punch him eventually lmao. in theory it’s kinda endearing but as a real person that’d be grating 

favorite line

on one hand, “smell ya later” is so fucking iconic, but on the other - 

“I’m Blue. Man, this guy called Red brought me down in a heartbeat. I haven’t seen him in a long time…I wonder where he is and what he’s up to… Come to think of it, you look a little bit like Red. Yeah, you do. Just…Just a little bit. Whatever…”

my namelessshipping heart

ALSO NOT CANON BUT GREEN RANTING TO YOU ABOUT RED AND GETTING SO DISTRACTED THAT HE FORGETS TO GIVE YOU THE POKÉDEX????? BIG GAY

brOTP

for long elaborate headcanon reasons, i see him as being a good brotp with Kris - i headcanon her as also being really driven the way Green is, but more quiet about it, she’s kinda a good balance to him and they probably do pokemon research together. i also feel like she kept him sane while Red was still missing/before they found him on a fuckin mountain

OTP

do i really need to tell you that i’m 100% namelessshipping

like they perfectly balance each other. Green has all this energy and all this spunk and Red is just like… so opposite of him y'know? he’s quiet and he’s more measured in his behavior i feel, he doesn’t really rush into things as much, and yet they both really just took Kanto by storm when they were kids, and i like how they have this foil dynamic and are both still so successful? they’re so different and they complement each other in that way, and they both find success in their own ways

like one of the reasons i hate that Green’s championship gets undersold so much is that he did beat you to the punch, and he has been one step ahead of you, and there’s so much passion there and it’s so loud - and yet you as Red are just as driven, you take down Team Rocket, you’re always right on his tail, so close but not quite there, you’re the only one who can keep up with him and you’re the only one he cares enough about to slow down for

so like. idk with even all my headcanons about namelessshipping aside (and i can infodump those another day lol), i feel like the in-game representation of them just works. they just work so well together, they balance each other without ever holding each other back, and there’s something really beautiful about that in a relationship y'know

…..i feel bad abt not putting as much infodump about isshushipping now but oh well

nOTP

i don’t really have a notp with him? i kinda like. i basically just do namelessshipping, but i don’t get a visceral eugh when i see other ships with him, just kinda a well it’s not nameless so i’ll be on my way. idek what other ships w him are popular?? i’ve been in nameless hell since 2012 so 

random headcanon

while Red is still living on Mount Silver, Green is not coping well with having him so far away, and so Green massively overworks himself to the point that he keeps just not being in his gym sometimes bc he’s bouncing between the gym, training multiple teams, pokémon research, and ofc going to visit Red whenever he can. this leads him to be kinda temperamental after he’s been working on 2 hours of sleep a day for like a week until he just has an emotional meltdown and crashes, and then he gets right back into it because he has no self preservation

…….. nicer headcanon; Red can only cook two (2) foods, so Green cooks all the food for them when they move in together. he has attempted to teach Red how to cook, but Red pretends not to understand so Green will keep making him food. Green knows Red is faking it and doesn’t call him out bc he thinks it’s cute

unpopular opinion

look i’ve played through classic red version a few times and when i say he wasn’t that much of a jerk, i do genuinely mean he was not that much of a jerk. he’s like ten. ten year olds are just Like That. i guess this isn’t too unpopular anymore but it was Back In The Day and in some parts of the fandom he’s still seen as a jerk and like Bro He Is Ten In RGB/FRLG cut him some slack

also genuinely unpopular - Green is taller than Red. i know namelessshipping has fallen into the bara Red and twink Green trope but i refuse to let go of tall Green/short Red fuckin fight me why dont you

song i associate with them

a lot of the Pray For The Wicked album by Panic! at the Disco gives me Green vibes, more for the sound than for lyrics necessarily, but for some reason Roaring 20s just like. has the sound of Green to me. it’s somewhere between flamboyant pride and underlying insecurity that i think really encapsulates Green (or at least his subtext)

favorite picture of them

i genuinely love his let’s go concept art he’s such a sweet good boy?? 

and for the life of me i cannot find the op source on this but this is my fave pic of Green/namelessshipping in general that i’ve had saved since like 2012 maybe???

yeah if anyone can help me source that i’d appreciate it bc reverse image search only brings me to pinterest and random wattpad links :/

update: source seems to be the artist くる (pixiv id=982894) on pixiv, even though the original post got taken down (ty anon!)

Lillie

favorite thing about them

by now i guess you know im a sucker for character development, but i think they did a really good job with her!! i feel like her turn is a bit more in moments than it is with Green, who gradually evolves (lol) over the course of Kanto/all the gens overall. you see more discrete moments where Lillie starts to shift and gain confidence in herself and i am so proud of her ???? like the way she gets excited when she sees Olivia doin’ her z-move stuff, she starts buying her own clothes and getting ahead of you, etc etc

and like, she still has moments where she’s scared, there’s still some fundamental Lillie in there yknow? you don’t lose any of that softness that characterizes Lillie, she just like… she gets better, she develops without losing her Lillie vibe and i love that abt her. she overcomes a lot of the shit she had to deal with when she was stuck with Lusamine, she stands up to Lusamine eventually, and ghfdkjsg gah she’s a sweet gorl i love and appreciate her

also like. the writing on her backstory is so subtle in-universe. like yeah she literally looks like Lusamine’s daughter and you see her in the opening cutscene leaving Aether, but as the protagonist - like as Selene lets say, there’s little hints about where Lillie came from, and if you suspend your disbelief and put yourself in the pc’s shoes, there’s subtly to her character arc that i like 

also like. when she changes her outfit and starts being more protagonist-y, like more confident and kinda bubbly instead of shy??? love that shit it’s so cute can i have custody of this child pls

least favorite thing about them

i like. sometimes feel like she’s too soft of a character for me to really get into? like i love her and Hau, they’re sweet good friends, but i tend to personally gravitate towards characters that create a little more tension (ie Green and N)

(though on that note, Hau can be kinda savage. he just calls Faba out and sarcastically calls Gladion “a ray of sunshine” at some point i think?? Lillie is just very tender and i will support her forever, but i think that also makes her almost too soft to keep me fixated on her yknow. it’s not even a flaw in her character but just not something i fawn over as much)

favorite line

“I’m so glad I got to meet everyone. I’m so glad I got to meet you.”

like that ending kills me but that line almost feels like. I Feel That So Much like i feel so happy to have met all these new characters and to have played these games, and i feel like some of the player’s energy and enjoyment of the game is channeled into this last line of hers 

also GET IN THE BAG

brOTP

probably her and Hau?? idk, i don’t have a specific brotp for her but i like her just hangin around w the other Alola kids, so like her, Hau, Gladion, and the protag kids. they’d raise hell together and Lillie continues to be the only one with some impulse control

(Gladion also has some impulse control but keeps getting annoyed by Hau and so he gets dragged into their nonsense anyway)

OTP

Selene and Lillie is. Good. idk what the ship name is but it’s canon

nOTP

i dont even know if people ship her with Gladion but incest is a big no-no in my house

random headcanon

when she goes to Kanto, i bet she’d pick Bulbasaur as a starter if she was given the opportunity - and if not, she’d probably catch a wild Vulpix 

unpopular opinion

idk if have any unpopular opinions for her?? 

song i associate with them

i have no reason to associate this with her but the Rainy Day theme from acgc just. has a vibe about it. i think a lot of ac music feels like it suits her

favorite picture of them

i found this art of her through a lofi remix of her theme awhile back and it’s so pleasing to look at? her hair is nice and the colors are so warm n happy gjhkfdgf

if you read this far, congratulations!!! and i’m sorry

[stopreadingthisanddance]

2018 top albums

Okay, so hopefully you read (& enjoyed listening to) my top EPs list, this one is a little longer, and hopefully a little prettier. They’re ranked 10 -> 1, with my honourable mentions up front here. I hope you enjoy at least some of the music I loved this year, and don’t find my writing unbearable. Once again, I’ve included spotify links for each album if and youtube links for my favourite tracks of each album. 

honourable mentions:

alison wonderland - awake/remxies

standouts: good enough & no (umru & kid froopy remix)

This was really tough for me to place, it would have likely made it onto the top 10 list had it not been for how much I loved the remix album that accompanied this album, and including both felt like cheating. Despite her trap banger roots, Alison Wonderland manages to hit that dance/cry sweet spot over and over on this project, from the manic banger Good Enough, with her gorgeous cello backed by an anxiety inducing rising bassline, to the anxious "is it good enough!?" ringing out, to hip-hop influenced High, to the big room trap banger that is Happy Place. It's got all of that and more on the base album, and the collection of remixes that were done afterward by her contemporaries managed to even further diversify the track list, while still keeping enough of the original to be recognizable. Even if you don't like electronic music, listen to No (umru & Kid Froopy Remix) and tell me that xylophone lead isn't catchy as all hell.

ross from friends - family portrait

standout: pale blue dot

A mainstay in the lo-fi house scene, Ross From Friends released his first full length project this year, and it gave everything I had hoped. Lovely, danceable grooves, ace production, and the feeling of being transported, if momentarily, to another plane of existence. If you have even the slightest inclination towards electronic music, check out Pale Blue Dot.

joji - ballads 1

standout: rip

The transition George Miller aka Filthy Frank aka joji has made throughout his young career is pretty spectacular. From absurdist comedy to the angsty, low key R&B on this project is pretty amazing, and while he certainly exhibits a lot of similar traits to the S A D B O Y aesthetic that has taken over mainstream hip-hop the last few years, he does it with enough of his own flavour that it's hard to discount that it is his. RIP and Attention are two of the most overtly sad songs I've heard in a long time, both in lyrical content, as well as production and the slurring and gravely vocal delivery. While tracks like Can't Get Over You throw in some needed dancey beats, while still maintaining that raw emotional delivery and content that defines this project so much.

top 10: 

10

jizue - room

standout: grass

I can't explain this album, I've spent the last 30 minutes attempting it, and I just can't. It's an instrumental album from Japanese group jizue that blends elements of jazz, math-rock and hardcore into...whatever this project is. I love it, but it's just the right side of complex and listenable to serve as the perfect background music, and still manage to stand on it's own. Check it out, maybe someone can explain it to me.

9

anderson .paak - oxnard

standout: brother's keeper

It took a while for Anderson .Paak to hit it big, but even back when I first heard his stuff, it was pretty apparent that it was only a matter of time before he hit it. Not only are his producer chops on display in full effect here, from rattling kicks and afro-soul influenced melodic leads, to the heavy jazz influences, all layered with a touch of 90s hip-hop. Dr. Dre helped with production and executive produced, and the influences of that era shine through heavily. Speaking of, .Paak's vocal performance is entirely different from what I had come to expect, and covers a wide array of topics, from the politically charged 6 Summers, to the sensual The Chase, that feels a lot it needs to be halfway an action scene in an 80s movie, to the savage Pusha-T feature Brother's Keeper. While .Paak himself is more a singer than rapper, his voice and flow fits the aesthetic of this project, and the brilliance of the production variety while still maintaining the feel of a cohesive project. From the all star feature list, to the frequent use of beat change-ups midway through tracks, back to front this project demands your attention.

8

rl grime - nova

standout: ucla

My first listen of this album resulted in me thinking "eh, this is just a bunch of electronic tracks", they weren't bad, but I didn't really feel it until my 3rd or 4th listen. RL Grime's ability as a producer has never been in question, and his live shows the stuff of legends. Throw into that with his yearly, highly anticipated Halloween 7 mixtape, featuring a vocal open by Shaq, he didn't need to come through with a project as diverse as this, and yet here we are. He manages to flow easily from big room trap Feel Free and Pressure, to the more housey Shrine and the emotional Atoms and the manic instrumental Rainer. It was really hard for me to pick just one favourite because of how cohesive this album has ended up feeling for me, like being taken on someone else's emotional roller coaster ride. But I've settled on the trashy, trappy R&B UCLA, where the lyrics manage to come across a little insecure, while the beat makes up for it with astounding bravado, and massive trap drops.

7

chvrches - love is dead

standout: deliverance

I've written before how vital live music events are to my enjoyment of certain genres & music acts, and if I'm being honest,  this album wouldn't be on here if I hadn't had the chance to see CHVRCHES live this year at the Commodore. It's a good album, don't get me wrong, it's got all polish of their previous two albums, and even more varied song selection with the more typical synth-pop bops with Miracle and Heaven/Hell, there's a huge change up with the moodier God's Plan and the incredibly sad and moving instrumental ii. Even Get Out, one of the lead singles from this project is laced with a lot darker subject matter and musical elements. Seeing Lauren Mayberry dance under neon lights to the intro rift of Graffiti will stick in my mind for years to come, and that feeling is what this kind of music is all about.

6

soccer mommy - clean

standout: cool

My musical tastes have been diverse for as long as I can remember, but this style of grungy, lo-fi bedroom pop-rock has never really been on my radar before. That being said, Nashville native Soccer Mommy has a lot of what I look for in music, catchy hooks, lyrics brimming with emotion and someone willing to take risks. While it's undeniable that this is far from a production masterpiece, which I don't understand in 2018 honestly, the great song writing and Sophie Allison's distinctive voice and nonchalant delivery gives me that summer feeling no matter what time of the year it is. Cool is one of my most listened to songs of the year by a long shot, with it's upbeat music and sad lyrics, it sounds like what teenage regret felt like. Scorpio Rising on the other hand, covers a lot of the same topics, but it manages to do to it in a very different way, sort of in a Slow Dance On The Inside by Taking Back Sunday kinda feel.

5

rezz - certain kind of magic

standout: teleportal

Even with my list this year being highly varied, I think this might be the least approachable album on either this or my EP list. Rezz has managed to create a cult of personality around herself in a way very few electronic musicians ever manage through her phenomenal set construction, heavy emphasis on showmanship with lights and video during her live sets, and brilliant production. Add on top of that very few artists are making this style of music anywhere close to this caliber, and you end up with a dominant force of heavy basslines and dark aesthetics. If you have ever had any interest in dubstep, be it the traditional UK variant or the trashy late 2000s-era bedroom-produced bangers, you will likely love this album. It's no surprise that deadmau5 signed her in 2016 given that her style of building up layers and layers of effects and sonic elements, only to cut them all out to isolate a heavy drop or gorgeous orchestral melody is very reminiscent of the house legend himself.

4

hinds - i dont run

standout: tester

Spanish all girl quartet came out of no where for me, but once I was into their vibe, I didn't look back. They sing in English (mostly), but their accents taint all their lyrics with just a little touch exotic flavour, giving their cacophonous musical style one more element to throw into the mix. They sort of sound like a mix of The Velvet Underground, and the Strokes, with a modern pop twist, and the fact they're women making, or more accurately, fighting the transition from care free 20s, to the reality of their 30s comes through in spades. The variety of their voices, and their writing styles gives this album a distinctly personal touch, but not so much it's impossible to relate to. This album is perfect for sitting in the sun on a lazy afternoon and letting the entire project wash over you, if I had to pick just one track though I'd go with Tester, a track about navigating complex, undefined personal relationships, and coping with it however possible.

3

let's eat grandma - im all ears

standout: it's not just me

I knew that PC Music wouldn't stay off my list entirely this year, the entire label seem to be steering pop music on the whole, and the production influences from SOPHIE fly in pretty fast on the glitchy-noisey delicious mess that is Hot Pink, the opening track. They follow that up with my favourite track of the year in It's Not Just Me, with the angsty lyrics, the way they seem to just float over the top of the beat that manages to be both groovy (dig the dance moves in the music video) and still challenge the listener with complexity and a touch of cacophony. While these two 17 year old girls from some random town in the UK might only be releasing their second project, and the lyrical content is for sure written by 17 year old girls, they show a capacity for having a vision for a track and getting it across in a truly astonishing way. They manage to blend genres, topics and feelings seemingly effortlessly, and I can't get enough of it!

2

the midnight - kids

standout: america 2

The nostalgic, synth-pop, retro-wave duo The Midnight came through with an ode to the 80s and 90s, laced with modern sensibilities. Stick these tracks over some 90s action movies, and they won't feel out of place, nor will they as your cruise into the sunset of 2018. With lyrics that are wistful for the past, and aware of the fact it will never come back, they manage to make you want to groove along, while slightly pricking that part of your brain that says "hey, is there where you thought you'd be when you were 12?". The whole project is laced with news clips from the 80s and 90s, talking about how exciting, and how terrifying the future looked. It's easy to forget even in those less connected times, sometimes all you could do was blast the stereo, drive into the night, and hold onto the best parts of your past, and try and be optimistic about the future.

1

brockhampton - iridescence

standout: tonya

Brockhampton is one of those music groups that is such a cultural phenomenon, it'll inspire kids making music in their bedrooms for a long time. No hip-hop group has made such a massive impact since Wu-Tang, and we all know they ain't nuthin' to fuck with. Both the group and each member manages to display astonishing range as they move from emotional ballads like the brilliant Tonya to bangers like New Orleans, they manage to make you want to dance to the driving basslines and clever lyrics, only to snap change to the slow and deeply emotional tracks like San Marcos. From Kevin Abstract's masterminding, to Dom's undeniably amazing bars, to the dreamy Matt Champion and the angst filled bearface, it's easy to see why this album is so diverse. What's harder to understand is how cohesive they manage to blend it all together, trappy vocal effects on top of acoustic guitar, the gospel influences, it's all mashed together into perfection. Tonya was on heavy rotation this year, with it's haunting vocals, brilliant piano melodies, and the change up it's so hard not to feel the heart that went into this project.

annnnnnnnd we’re done! I hope you listened to a shit load of good music this year, and I hope some of this resonates with you. Happy Holidays, have a good New Year, roll on 2019.

[cocona]

hey! i wanna at least try to get into kpop, to see what all the fuss is abt, and youre the first blog that comes to mind abt that stuff. do you have any recs!? or comments?? anything really, i'm interested in what you have to say

i have recs!!! first of all ty for asking me abt it hdgfs !! i’ll make u a list !! i will try to stay concise but i have bolded n linked the most important stuff since i tend to blabber a lot! there r groups i purposely didnt recommend! also! i advise you to look up who did what if you want to know why idcs abt certain artists that r big in kpop (like big//ba//ng, su//ju, bl//ock//b, ma//ma//moo & so on) tl;dr: kpop basics (spotify) + @tearera (my kpop sb)

i’ll start w some RECS but jsyk kpop as u might have heard of it is mainly composed of groups! which is why i’ll start w groups then soloists! of course u can check out most of them on spotify (u can listen to their playlist of the most famous songs atm!). please notice that the kpop industry is very ‘classic’ when it comes to concepts (cute r for gorls! badass r for boys!) so um. yeah. yikes. if i had to argue abt all the things i find wrong in this industry this post would become a manifesto, u can always pm me if u want to hear me complain lmao 

GIRL GROUPS

honestly…. TWICE are the first one that came to my mind when i thought of ggs to rec. they’re a 9 member group labelled under jyp entertainment n have debuted in 2015 with the bop like ooh aah… that u can listen to! their genre is mainly cute songs but dont be fooled!! they have extremely powerful songs & lyrics as well! some good starts with their music are LIKEY (2017, a bop, great melody, great rapping, one of their ult feel good songs, played @ the olympics), TT (2016, queens of halloween!), and also their most recent song WHAT IS LOVE (2018, iconic!! gay!! bop!! sweet!! great album!!). as twice are the kind that can set you off by their cuteness and playful vibes, i recommend you to check out some of their side tracks. personality wise, the girls r very fun and sweet! they’re all angels and i love them all THIS MUCH!! if u want to know, sana & dahyun r my favourite members!         

also queens, but from sm entertainment this time, Red Velvet are a 5 member gg who have debuted in 2015 with the song Happiness (at that time they were only 4 but the youngest member, Yeri, joined later on!). some very famous songs of theirs are… basically all their title tracks but i’d mainly recommend Russian Roulette, Dumb Dumb (also my fave rv music video!!), Peek-a-boo (what’s better than lesbians witches slaying men and eating pizza), Bad Boy (honestly… one of their best songs… title track of their repackaged album…good shit if u will). of course! there are some side tracks i will recommend! i will frankly say that i listen to a lot of their music and they’re my favourite musically! some faves in no particular order are automatic, cool hot sweet love, huff n puff, something kinda crazy, about love, kingdom come, little little and talk to me! they have very versatile genres and have two main themes of music, the red and the velvet, though these mix often! rlly! their music really good. they have amazing choreographies too!!!!

the third gg i will rec are one that have not debuted yet, it’s LOONA! get ready bc they are a 12 member group with one girl for every month. each girl was revealed every month staring from 2016 with a single album composed of one song and one side track that usually features another member! as this group has yet to debut, i cannot show you anything with all twelve members but! they work with units, there are three: loona 1/3, odd eye circle, and yyxy (tune in for their debut scheduled for may!) that each have an album. 1/3 r more of a cute girly concept, while odd eye circle have played strongly on the girl crush & rnb concept. we have yet to see what yyxy has for us n im frankly v excited!!! my fave singles are Around You (hyunjin), Let Me In (haseul), Singing in the rain (jinsoul, best girl), Eclipse (kim lip), and Heart Attack (by chuu!! also best girl). they have already released a lot of music so go ahead & listen to it! their music videos have a plot and it’s one of those theories fandom (loonaverse)! the positions that all the members will have wasn’t been revealed yet!

then here’s a list of ggs that’s not as detailed bc it would be too long: clc (they r…the girls….), exid (vocals, social criticism, sexy), blackpink (5 songs out but theyre all top notch), f(x) (v good music! bring them back from the war), gfriend (cute & refreshing concepts! v tight choreographies! sweet girls!), aoa, & many more! groups i dont rec bc i dont stan but that u should know of: snsd, 2ne1; that have disbanded but shouldnt have: sistar

BOY GROUPS

ok i stan two boy groups so that’ll be quick! i’ll also rec plenty of music!

the main group i stan is BTS aka the bangtan boys and yes… they’re everywhere… they deserve it tbh… so theyre a 7 member boy group and they’re the first kpop group i ever stanned! they have released a lot of songs already but i’ll just mark something! bts are known for their cinematography and plot in their music videos as well as their politically/socially engaged songs. they debuted in 2013 with the youth-conscious song no more dream and um. forget the mv. the message is what’s important. secondly! my favourite eps & albums are DARK&WILD (forget abt war of hormone), The Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt2, WINGS, and Love Yourself 轉 Tear (which will be released on May 18th so stay tuned!). here’s a beginner’s list to bts & their music videos: spring day, blood sweat & tears, run, fire, i need u, and intros: singularity, serendipity. i cannot recommend bts songs bc i’d be unable to pick some, but here is my bangtan favourites playlist and spotify’s This Is BTS! n their most known song atm, still on charts, DNA. another thing!! they dabble in a lot of genres! there is a constant symbolism in most of their songs and music videos, which is why there are theories! also, here are my fave choreos (x x x) & non-official releases (x x x)! also! j-hope recently released a mixtape! check it out! it’s v good! the bad thing is that the fandom is massive n it is filled with young fans so a lot of fan-created content is cringey. apart from that! theyre lovely as a band n i’m not ashamed to say that they bring me most of my joy these days!

then there is… NCT. ok, let’s dive into them. nct is the acronym for Neo Culture Technology, they’re currently an 18 member boy group but hey! don’t be scared! they too work in units and have only released one song which features all 18 of them! it is likely that the band will expand later on & that the name NCT will become a brand (like akb48 u know). so far! there are three units! NCT DREAM (based on age, with the youngest members who r still minors), NCT U (the first unit to have debuted, aka nct united, a rotative unit with no fixed genre or members list) and NCT 127 (seoul based unit, fixed, with 9 members). they’re known for their experimentative and diversified sound, which goes from ballads to… this. while each unit have their distinct genre and vibe, they’re all under the same label of nct! and um, check out spotify’s nct playlist if u want! here r some songs that are basics! bolded r the faves! jsyk i hated their music & their clothes @ first bc it’s so unique so dw if u dislike them! 

127: cherry bomb, limitless (gross hair but spectacular song), touch, back to u, 0 mile, sun & moon, angel

dream: my first and last, we young, go, dunk shot, trigger the fever, la la love

u: the 7th sense, boss, baby don’t stop, without you, yestoday

solo tracks/sm station: dream in a dream & new heroes (ten), around (taeyong)

the last group i’ll present in length n that u should know about is SEVENTEEN. they’re a 13 member boy group & work in units as well but mainly promote w all the members! they’re the fun, sweet, talented, heartfelt refreshing boys we all love tbh! so! seventeen debuted in 2015 with the bop adore u and since then it’s been great song over great song… they also have great choreos! they’re the easiest group to listen to imo bc their songs are mostly light and very similar to what you can hear on teen top radios! then, they get stuck in your head very easily! here are some songs u can listen to that will make your day! mansae, very nice, pretty u, clap, don’t wanna cry, change up, n there are many more! some of my faves are when i grow up, trauma, still lonely, rocket, crazy in love, lean on me, and uhgh rlly all of their songs tbh! three units better known as teams: hip-hop, performance and vocal, with a leader in each. they put up great performances!!

then there is shinee, mostly nicknamed the kings of kpop, i’d make a very long desc but! i suggest you to see for yourself as the fandom is v helpful!

here are some boy groups that i rec but wont go in length with: pentagon (i stan!), monsta x (edm, powerful dances), shinee, exo (great vocals, great choreos, v good music), astro (bubblegum but v heartwarming! vocals), day6 (rock band, great songs), wanna one & many more! rlly um bgs arent the thing that’s lacking in kpop! 

a bit in the middle: KARD (mixed group!!! great music & genderless, breaking the usual hardcore is for boys & cutesy is for girls concept)

SOLOISTS

more of a solo person? check out artists like hyuna (ex member of both wonder girls & 4minute), iu, heize (a personal fave!), sunmi (ex member of wonder girls), taemin (member of shinee), amber liu (current member of fx! also released a mixtape recently!) hyolyn or dean… tbh there r many! these r just the ones i can think off the top of my head! theyre honestly easy to listen to so just look up their names on yt & u should find some good things!

if u read all of this!! uhh kudos to u!! it was v long n i didnt expect it to be that long!!