#hi i really really hope this helps!!!!!
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hello! saw that you add image descriptions and I was wondering if you think the alt text feature tumblr has is good for image descriptions or if it’s better to just write it out in the post? I’m not the most knowledgeable on how to do good image descriptions but I wanna start making the habit of putting them on things
Hello!!! This is a great question, thank you for reaching out!!! The alt feature is great for descriptions, but the most recent consensus I've seen is that doing both alt text and plain text (body text) IDs in the post is actually the most broadly accessible way to describe a post!! Here's an example of what I mean (you'll notice there's some more detail in the plain text, and that the alt isn't appended by brackets or extra ID formatting):
[ID: My icon, an emoji fish carrying an emoji love letter in its mouth surrounded by hearts and set against a pink gradient. End ID]
The blind community has competing access needs, which means there isn't a one-size-fits-all format, and your final choice comes down to what you prefer on your blog, as long as your IDs are useful and clear :)
Some bullet points to help you get your bearings:
Alt text is occasionally plagued by glitches and is sometimes considered less accessible to people who may not use a screenreader. It's still the most useful form of ID for screenreader users, from what I've gathered!
Plain text IDs should be written in fully plain text-- no small text or excessive italics/caps lock! However, I've seen that bold is generally more acceptable as special formatting. Utilize line breaks if necessary, but try to emphasize clarity and conciseness rather than exhaustive detail. Also, IDs go directly below (or above) the image, not at the end of a post!
People who do use both forms of description will frequently, as I did above, write a relatively bare-bones alt and a more in-depth ID so screenreader users can choose whether they want to sit through repeated information or not!
And last: Thank you again for reaching out!!!! Every person who chooses to make their spaces accessible makes the world a better place :))))
#hi i really really hope this helps!!!!!#feel free to peruse my#accessibility#and#image descriptions#tags for more assorted info!! there are some very good tutorials in there :D and also some more asks i've answered!#obligatory disclaimer that i am very much sighted and am working off what i know and have gleaned#i'm always open to correction and you should take me with a grain of salt!#sinhasfluffyheadfur#asks#kay talks#described#described by me#jesus christ why is my ask tag not 💌#NOOOO WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED. BC I ALREADY MADE THAT A TAG HERE AUGHHHHHHHHHHH
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me when the sheep may or may not be looking at me
I loved this moment so much LOLOL
#pearlescentmoon#mumbo jumbo#hermitblr#hermitcraft#hc s10#mumbo is SO PALE here but i really wanted to lean into his current vampire aesthetic#actually it might just be a “im getting sued” aesthetic#btw if u havent watched itslam.. i hope this helps persuade you#zed may just be the best gameshow host ever
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Finally, my design for Mysterion!! this boy gave me so much heartache in the process of making this but its ok its all worth it for him <3
I also couldn't choose between the version with hair or without hair, so here's the one without under the cut (+ my initial drafts for his design):
#south park#south park fanart#south park the fractured but whole#tfbw#south park tfbw#mysterion#kenny mccormick#shroomer's archives: south park#shroomer's art !#time for me to yap about my design process in the tags again#so yea. MYSTERION!!! just another different flavor of kenny#are you sick of seeing me draw him yet#anyways. i made the poncho follow the shape of an M to recreate the M on his original design on his chest#but i also have green lines on his undershirt that travel up his arms and onto his chest to recreate the shape of an M#if the hood were to ever be ripped off#gave him the sort of police utility belts because he was close to the police in his first episode#and also just because theyre cool lol#ALSO I STOLE THE SPRAY PAINTED QUESTION MARK ON HIS HOOD i really like how it looks i think it was vicchaosz here on tumblr who inspired me#made the poncho ragged because. yknow. he dies a lot. that thing is not gonna walk away in tip top shape.#kept most of the colors the same with only a few changes like his boots and his underpants (which i changed to shorts)#OH AND MY FAVORITE HAPPY ACCIDENT!!! the underside of his hood was too dark in contrast to his shorts so i added some lilac to lighten it u#and it ended up looking like when mysterion goes into his ghost form in the game AND ITS JUST. UGH. SUCH A COOL HAPPY ACCIDENT.#so yea: not only did it help with the contrast its also THEMATIC!!#i swear he's not shorter in the lineup hes just slouching#i love this feral ass pose i put him in#ok i think thats it if you read this far ily and i smooch you#mwah#i hope this post does well lol i put so much effort into this
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i would like to draw him more i think..
#marvel mcu#xmen#xmen apocalypse#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#drawin him and i cant help but feel he looks like matt mercer i elakjleakjveal something i must work on in the future#a LOT to work on really but this was just a quick thing just to get basics and the sort#anyway and if i say his best outfits were in this movie. and ironically best hair#this is very closely followed by his psychedelic shirt and bell bottoms from dofp but ANYWAYS#again just wanted to do a quick doodle .. a quick study i spose#i dont have any major art plans . wait im lying yes i do but not with young charles and erik#ill have to practice those two another time ... for now i hope you may enjoy a humble professor#ps if im so tbh i just wanted to draw him cause i needed to color his eyes and lips#because i am forever mesmerized by how blue his eyes can be and how pigmented his lips can be#wait i have a text post to make. im sick ..
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"you just feel yourself let go."
still thinking about this episode. man. 💪💥
#misfits and magic#misfits and magic 2#mismag 2#mismag#evan kelmp#d20#dimension 20#just like art#im SO behind on mismag but i literally cant believe this happened still#''why did you add the origami cranes to this?'' thank you for asking: i just think theyre neat!#also i know they didnt mention it explictly but i truly believe that evans last moments slipping into the pool and death would be about#if he made a difference. about if the struggles of it all were worth it. about if he was worth it.#especially considering he decided to haunt the closest thing to his friends.#so i think it makes sense that his life flashback would include physical proof of 1) his connection to the world and how he helped to chang#the world especially in the face of adversity#and 2) an item literally MADE for communication and connection to others.#both on a global scale when magic left AND the evolution of the magic that his closest friends and him used.#''but the origami cranes are based on storm petrels? a black bird with a white stripe near the tail? why are the cranes colourful here?''#firstly: youre full of questions today mister.#secondly: i tried to make them black but i really liked being able to differentiate between the cranes using fun colours#also i tried just overlaying a dark colour on top but it still didnt do it for me#but i tried to keep them close to the petrels: i kept the '''''white''''' stripe near the tail! id like some points for that!#excuses aside: i hope youre doing well! thanks for looking and reading!
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Danny wakes up. It feels different now that he’s older. Now that he’s both more and less than he was. He starts mornings out floaty, his edges indistinct, bleeding into his surroundings. He’s hyper-aware of the tentative strings connecting him to life, the blood pumping sluggishly through his veins, the breath expanding the lungs within his chest.
He yawns. A stretch.
His brain feels like an old computer booting up, each process coming online in a slow, methodical order. Neurons firing, electric pulses traveling up and down the webbed network of sinew tangled through his skeleton. He feels the pressure of atmosphere on his skin, the floor under his feet.
It’s weird. Not uncomfortable, just strange. It’s been years, but it’s never been easy to come to terms with the new awareness of his physicality, the control he could exert over its expression and shape. What once was instinctual, settled, now flows through his fingers like water, rising and falling with the rhythm of his chest. He would say that he’s just tired, that he’s never been a morning person, but the simmer of dawn and the infinite thrumming energy beneath his skin beg to differ.
He makes his way to the bathroom. He might have walked, but probably not, he can’t be sure. It doesn’t matter. There are only friends here. He’s safe. Home.
The routine of the morning is grounding. Always the same. Jazz says it should help. That it can all become instinctual again, through enough repetition. Danny isn’t so sure.
He takes his time putting together his outfit, picking accessories and being mindful of the way it all fits against him. His body might be a projection, something just to the left of real, but clothes are normal, socks, rings, a watch. He can feel normal like this.
Another stretch.
He wants to scream.
He makes his way down to the shared living space. He’s grateful that he’s not crammed into a tiny apartment with strangers, that he’s allowed both the time and space to be what he is. Sam’s parents may not be the most accommodating, but this is worth every glare and snide, underhanded comment he’s had to put up with for the better part of the past decade.
He knows what comes next, but his stomach rolls in his gut. He should have something solid, go through the remaining motions of self-care, even if it’s a bowl of cereal and a piece of fruit.
He grimaces and grabs a less-than-pleasant nutritional shake from the fridge. They’re supposed to be back up, an addition-to rather than in-replacement-of, but it’s early and he can’t bring himself to care. He finds himself on the roof, with the chilled bite of the morning and the chalky pseudo-chocolate flavor of his breakfast on his tongue.
He longs to shed this husk, to leave the weight of his flesh behind and see what the sunrise looks like from ten thousand feet. But it’s a Tuesday and he has an 8am. He wants equally to be the college student he is, to sit with his peers and bring numbers to their algorithmic conclusions—to describe the world around him in a way that makes sense, in a way that’s objectively true. One day he might even be able to describe what happened to him in a neat little equation.
He breathes in and out, feeling heavy in his body. This is nice too, he supposes. He shuts his eyes and feels the brunt of the morning sun peek over the neighboring apartment complex. When he hears his friends shuffling about in their own morning fugue states, he sinks back inside.
Tucker just about jumps out of his skin when he turns around, eyes half closed, to see Danny dressed and ready, silent, and much too close behind him.
Laughter peels through the house as Danny is chased through the halls and somehow he feels human.
#danny phantom#fanfic#writing#danny fenton#i really like writing morning routines#i feel like they help characterize a person#for danny i want him to be a little bit introspective here but like#physically#he doesnt have a lot of real coherent thoughts in his brain#also theres too much here to be a comic so you get some words#hope u like#postcanon college au#college au
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Welcome to the Restraint! (Restaurant)
Imagine Danny runs to Gotham and starts squatting in an abandoned old building in Crime Alley. Slowly putting some ecto into the place to claim it as his haunt (while recovering from the sudden loss of his old one). And he does the normal stuff to survive. Finds some odd jobs, often as a messenger, and is just surviving. Another thing he does is make his own food. It’s cheaper than takeout and he’s gotten pretty good at cooking (out of necessity instead of eating sentient hotdogs). Then he ends up accidentally taking in some street kids. Or more like they follow him home. He can’t just turn them away so he makes a meal for them and lets them stay the night then sends them on their way. And then it happens again. And again. And ok, so maybe he saved a girl from getting molested. And that older guy from getting his only good blanket stolen. And sure, maybe letting that poor pizza delivery guy rant was unnecessary but he looked like he was having a bad day ok? Pretty sure that kid with the scar is a meta too but…he needed a place to stay a few nights alright? It’s not like any of them stay permanently. Danny’s started picking up a few more odd jobs to pay for all the extra food he’s had to buy. Always keeping his place stocked. At least he doesn’t have to pay for water and a fridge, he just makes some ice (or melts it). Sure the water is cold, but it’s probbaly the cleanest water in Gotham. And then some of the people start paying. Like…actually paying in exchange for food. Not sure if it’s because of guilt or pity but Danny won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. And with all the money, he hasn’t had to take as many dangerous jobs. Soon, his little abandoned apartment became what’s essentially the closest thing to a legitimate restaurant in Crime Alley.
It didn’t look normal. The chairs and tables were more like old couches and stools pulled up to coffee tables and cabinets turned on their side. Although with the bulling becoming more like Danny’s haunt, the walls naturally started repairing themselves so at least it didn’t look like it was gonna collapse anymore. And ok…so Danny might have rescued a few feral kids who…weirdly have gold eyes. And possibly stopped a meta trafficking ring on accident. And look, these people didn’t have anywhere to go! And the apartment did have empty rooms. It was already known as a place someone could crash for the night (last winter the entire place was cramped with people. Danny had to break up multiple fights but they usually calmed down when he got there.)
One benefit from controlling a haunt is controlling the temperature inside so it was one of the only buildings with ‘heat’. But back to his…strays. So yeah…most didn’t seem like they could rejoin society…so he let them stay. And…they kind of became employees? Impromptu bodyguards? (Some of the golden eyed people almost felt like he was rangling feral ghosts again.) they came in all ages. A few kids, lots of teens, and a few adults. Same with the metas he rescued. They mostly helped deliver food to costumers. They even got a phone line working and could take orders. (Although the new…employees…also got more protective whenever a fight broke out.) With all the extra money he’s been getting he was even able to afford some medical supplies. A lot of his customers(?) came in injured and he tried his best to patch them up but now he could do more than tie some ripped clothing around the wound and use ice to numb it. He’s got bandages. And pain killers. Plus other medical stuff. He can even give someone stickers now! All that experience as an injured vigilante was paying off. Even Villains and goons start attending this place. The place was unofficially designated as one of the Alley’s ‘safe zones’ where no fighting takes place inside (the body guards make sure of it.) the metas and Talons are getting an identity for themselves, the street kids even get a job and a hideout, random people can go there for help or to pass messages, this place provides food, shelter, and medical care. No one wants it going down.
So yeah, welcome to the restaurant!
(I’m debating whether I want this to be the weirdest restaurant/safe place/truce area in the alley, or whether I want Danny to accidentally become a crime lord. Possibly both.)
Also, this place is called the Restraint because I keep misspelling Restaurant and I think Danny would do the same so the name stuck. (Or one of the kids spelled it when making a sign or passing around messages to spread the word of this safe place.)
So anyways, to add some angst, after Danny adopts a bunch of crime alley kids/villains they find out about Danny’s powers and that he’s a ghost, only they don’t know about Halfas so they think Danny is fully dead and this super kind guy who has been the only person to ever treat them like people…died. He died likely a long time ago and there’s nothing any of them can do to change that.
(And if the GIW dare to come into the alley, they better be prepared for the entire place to turn on them.)
#Dpxdc#dcxdp#Kizzer55555 ideas#I kinda like the idea of Danny also being able to cure joker venom#So like what could happen is a recent attack caused some people he knew to get infected#they came into the Restraint laughing while tears trailed down their face and they were gasping like they couldn’t breathe.#Danny can immediatly tell something’s wrong and can practically see their veins glowing green.#They had enough joker venom that it should be perminant but Danny uses his powers.#What he does is concentrate and phase shift them and ONLY them. Letting the venom fall through and splatter the ground with a hiss.#It’s the first time anyone has seen Danny use powers but everyone unanimously agrees never to mention it.#Of course. There are many people people who might then bring their loved ones to Danny. Hoping he could help.#You would be surprised how many kids are in the alley because their parents were gassed with joker venom#and the foster system wouldn’t take them. Or people who lost their jobs to pay for medical bills for loved ones.#So then an alley guy brings his gassed sister in. She had been in the hospital for 2 years now and he knows it’s a long shot.#But he has to try.#It’s harder than the fresh venom since the drug had been more absorbed into the girl. Danny has to really focus and it takes longer#But bit by bit he manages to separate the joker venom and her laughing soon turns to sobbing as her mouth stops smiling.#When he’s done the brother and sister are both crying. The girl is malnourished because it’s hard to eat while laughing but she’ll be ok.#Soon all the alley people start bringing in loved ones. It’s very subtle because there’s NO WAY they are exposing Danny’s abilities.#However people start noticing that joker victims have started to disappear from hospitals.#Danny is covered in scars from vigilantism.#He may or may not have vivisection scars.#Whether it was from phantom and he just escaped before revealing his identity or bad reveal is up to you.
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I just saw one of your fave games is What remains of Edith Finch and I’m so happy! I feel like its a lesser known game but i loved playing through it. I’m so happy to know more than just my small friend group know about this game!
Sorry this isn’t a question. Also want to say that you’re art is amazing and the development of the designs is so interesting to see. Also the way you draw intimate scenes have so much emotion to them. I love the Aj and rarity kissing comic so much, you can just feel their love for each other ;w;
Thank you so much!
I highly, highly, highly recommend What Remains of Edith Finch to anyone interested in narrative game experiences/"walking simulators." It's one of those games that was handcrafted with nothing but love. Every room you explore is just... real. The way the light flows in and makes the colors of the living room, the kitchen, the bedrooms glow. Playing the game is like walking through your childhood home as an adult and seeing how the dust clings to everything you once touched. Also genius-level gameplay mechanics, ones that can make you completely empathetic with the character you're embodying or feel completely complacent in their tragedy. It's really not fair to call it a walking simulator because it's so much more and so much smarter than that.Everyone talks about the fish one.
The theme of death and memory and storytelling and the burden of invisible trauma and self-fulfilling prophecies is so affecting too. The ending made me cry.
#detective-marshmallow#ask me#using this ask to seriously plug edith finch#and to talk about spoilers here#major major major spoilers#because i still think about walter. who saw something so awful and traumatic as a kid that he spend the next 40 years living right under hi#family. and everyone forgot about him#i think about the house. literally aching and creaking with the family's history of strange deaths#i think about sam. who had to grow up in an empty bedroom he once shared with his twin brother. and stare at the partitioned-off side#every single day#i think about edith. who knows she will have a child and knows she will die and continue the family curse but decides to live anyways#god edith didn't even make it to adulthood.#this game tears me up from the inside yet it's so full of love and fantasy and hope#it was honestly really helpful for my death anxiety.#don't fear death. one day you'll go. people will mourn. and then they'll tell stories about you.
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the mourn watch background gives you such a GIFT in having other characters notice and call out on-screen that rook code switches like a motherfucker. the whiplash of hearing my snarky 'heeey I'm just a little guy! :>' funnyman rook speak the heightened ritualized phrases of the mourn watch with perfect seriousness and gravity completely naturally and/or break into an academic tone that can keep up with emmrich at the drop of a hat never stops giving me such endless delight. truly their real mind is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside some hideous mourn watch casual wear
#that last one was just for comedic purposes rye would NEVER wear the mourn watch casual wear willingly#he hated the new livery so much he hoarded every pair of the older watcher robes he could hunt down so they'd tide him over#in the hopes that the next uniform design would be less awful. he is a fancyboy at heart. he should be wearing so many earrings#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#A Watcher's work is never done#rye's whole deal is half built on the feeling of 'we've had a lot of fun here today folks. but at the end of the day I have given my oath#and I mean to fulfil it. so either help me do that or get out of my fucking way' that sort of naturally rises out of this contrast#and everyone who has for a moment doubted his complete seriousness and sincerity about it so far has ended up much deeper#than six feet under by the end of it all haha#I've found I've actually been able to build a really good sense of character here (with some reloading to see different options#to be sure lol I am a control freak) -- mixing in a stoic response in certain situations for example can inform so much with so little#and the contrast works out to be so much greater.#just this sense of a layer of levity and awkwardness on top of an immense and unflinching seriousness#that sometimes shines through. it's uh. it's been really good for me
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I wasn’t planning on drawing anything, I was suddenly inspired for no reason
Anyway, happy new year or whatever
#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#the noise#hi im posting this in the middle of the night#it’s almost 3 am right now help me#also sorry to those who have already experienced new years 12 hours ago#my time zone is really late compared to everyone else#it was just new years 3 hours ago where I am#I hope you enjoy the drawing anyway#ghost’s lost art
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To like comics is to ignore comics.
When your favorite character has existed for 80+ years, has had 100s of writers, has changed over and over again, sometimes they got it wrong. You have to decide what to ignore for your own sanity.
#batman#robin#tim drake#dick grayson#jason todd#nightwing#red robin#bruce wayne#dc comics#comics#marvel comics#spiderman#peter parker#superman#clark kent#kon el#superboy#conner kent#and one of mine is the ENTIRE New 52#and bruce wayne being abusive... their no way i can think for him to abuse his kids and still be a hero.#their are some things i believe no hero can ever do. abusing your children is one. ill do this for other too. if you want to call them a#hero and make me believe they're paragons for hope loyalty equality justice etc their are some things they can never do or they lose all#credibility. dc and marvel need to sit down and really think about what they make their characters do and how that effect things.#marvel#iron man#tony stark#why would you make a hero say thell reinstate prima nocta? that was a decision.#and not to say they cant make mistakes. they can. but usually they atone for them.#like wanda maximoff and m day. she then atoned for it by helping bring back mutants and she felt guilt for what she did. they didn't just#just agnore it.
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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"He stared at the wall, facing away from the crowd as if intentionally inviting a knife in the back."
#lityerses toa#trials of apollo#toa#toa fanart#pjo hoo toa#feeding lit fans (me)#why is he in my brain#his arc really got to me. help#i had to try three times to post this i hope tumblr didn't post shadow copies that are floating in the ether
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"We need to find more performance, I think we've underdelivered in the last three events."
#gah i put that caption there bcs its so sad that hes basically had to say the same thing this whole season#and yet theres really no sign of it getting better#i was happy to see him in the points today and had hope#but then there was so many brake issues#and the car fucking up his back#i dont know how to feel#i hate that he has to put himself under duress like this#but at the same time cant help but admire his constant and consistent resilience#the teams loyalty to him and his loyalty back despite the car failing him#theres something so mentally damaging about seeing him look like hes on the verge of tears after such a terrible day#and then hearing all the cheering in the back. really represents the energy of this race well#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#2024 brazilian gp#2024 brazil gp#we do a little bit of f1
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Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.
If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.
Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.
#positivity#disability positivity#partially because so much of voical differences arise from disability#i've developed a really annoying lisp-ish issue#and it's hard to be positive about it because it makes me feel like i'll be treated as lesser because it's a 'childish' affect#but i literally can't help it unless i spend 110% of my focus on it. and i don't have that amount of energy#but it makes me think about others and especially those who have it more intensely than i do#and i just want to uplift everybody because vocal differences are neutral at worst#man my dad always tells a story about this coworker he had who had a stutter like you wouldn't believe...#...and he was fucking BRUTALIZED for it... 'c-c-c-c-CAN YOU GET TO THE POINT?!' is how people would talk to him...#...and obviously that made his stutter twice as fucking worse and i can't imagine the shame and humiliation that followed...#...i hope he learned that those assholes were a fucking waste of time and that he doesn't have to deal with that...#...like i'm sorry but there is no fucking need to be that sadistic toward somebody who is obviously already anxious and worried
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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