#hey dude. you look like shit. maybe do something about it. im saying this because i noticed you looked bad and i think you should feel good

[lokh]

also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.

[djpurple3]

i think "you look terrible" is one of my favourite ways people say i love you

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[holycrimin]

In honor of me getting my first ever TMNT Comic,

here's Leo with a crush who gets overly excited when gifted something they're obsessed/hyperfixated with (cough definitely not me cough)

while I did buy the comic for myself (it was an Eastman and Laird's TMNT adventure special) I wanted to explore this more because my brain is way too active and i need an outlet lol

pls dont blame me if its a little ooc, im trying my best and this is impulsive T0T

note: Reader uses they/them, Leo is a massive dork, semi proofread

2012!Leo x Expressive!Reader

Saw something he thought you'd like while on patrol,

"Hey guys, you think they'll like this?" He looks throught the window.

They snicker and shit on him (lovingly in a sibling way)

Whether it was a poster or figurine or comic, he's getting that baby just for you

Obviously he'd get it by paying because stealing would be wrong.

And by paying he means snatching it in the middle of the night and leaving a twenty with an apology note

Because that's what heroes do

anyway

Hops up to your apartment,

(with his brothers watching from the shadows because they absolutely cannot resist a good show. yes, even Donnie; like a true hypocrite)

He makes sure that neither your parents are there with you and he knocks on the window

You, with your ultra smart brain, immediately knew it was him because it was either that or a murderer that climbed up to specifically your window to murder you

which was unlikely, but hey, so was being friends with a giant turtle

You open your window and are immediately greeted with a shiny (not-so-brand new) comic/poster/figurine of the thing you talked about nonstop for weeks. maybe months. actually now that you think about it it mightve been year—

"Hey."

"Wh-"

"No way. NO WAY." You take it out of his hands (gently) and look at it in awe, before looking up at him with a dazzled expression

(If you squinted you could see sparkles coming off of you)

"What- Where- Dude. Where'd you even find this?!" A wide grin on your face as you look at him.

"Oh y'know.. Patrol and fighting bad guys, awesome stuff. Uh, then, y'know.. I found some merch that I thought you'd like."

"Dude he's seriously blowing this." one of the guys (mikey) whisper. "Yeah, he's worse than Donnie." he says, earning a 'Hey!' from Donnie.

Leo glares at them for a second before turning his attention back to you.

You let out a giddy giggle, "ahh! dude!"

"Dude." You set it down gently and put both of your hands on his shoulders. "I. Love you. So much. You know that?"

He blushes a little, "Well, I mean, it's not really a big de-"

"Not a big deal?! DUDDEE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Is this a marriage proposal?" You say, shaking him a little.

"Wh- um.. What?" Leo lets out a weak chuckle, he feels his face heating up. "Because I accept. Let's get married, I love you so much. Oh my god, you have no idea-"

Ohhh god.

Yeah, that does it.

Well, even more than it already has.

"Whahahaha... Okay, uh, You don't really mean that, do y-" Oh.

"..Oh, sorry, is that too far? I mean, I do it with my other friends, but I'm not sure- Leo?" Yeah, no this is going to kill him. Kinda pathetic, huh? That a kiss on the cheek could send him spiraling just like that.

"Ah.. hahahah! Okay cool, haha.. uh, bye! I'll ah.. see you tomorrow? yep. Yeah. Okay, bye!"

He runs off.

Aw crap.

Did you do something wrong? God, you hope not. Maybe you should tone it down next time.

"Smooth moves brother, really got them falling for you."

"Shut up."

------------------------

Total writing time: idk like 15-20 mins?

Any fellow fic writers feel free to take inspo or even write a direct sequel to this, I just really like this idea and would absolutely love to read more abt it lol

[icarusredwings]

Two shots

Nsfw

Thinking about them just being guys the first couple of nights and getting to the point in their drinking session when things get way too tense for just "bros being bros". Wade is over here, beer between his legs and visually, with his hands, talking about how much he adores eating pussy (cause ofc he is) all while Logan's sitting here with his whiskey, swallowing almost uncomfortably.

"Oh sorry, I guess thats kinda weird to talk about huh? My bad."

"No.. It's alright... keep going."

"What?"

"Yeah.. f-finish your story.."

"Okay? If you say so. So theres this thing I like to do and it's really fun too because well- when I had hair it was better but I still kinda like that she scratches me now."

Logan shifts on the couch, almost squirming, keeping his legs together, holding his bottle a bit too tight. ".....you like being scratched?"

Wade shrugs "Yeaah. See the thing is a lot of people think it's cause the mutation and the healing factor- But no one ever talks about how upsetting it is to get a good clawing and none of them stick.. feels like im cheating or something."

"C-cheating?" He squeezes his legs together, pulling them up onto the couch, leaning further into the arm rest.

"Yea, cause you know? Well, I guess you don't know. You've always healed. Ah, that must suck... not being able to walk around all prideful with your scratches and hickeys. I miss it." He takes another drink. "I really do.. it's not fair.. I should be able to wear them like medals."

Logan bites his lip a bit, trying to keep his thoughts from turning into words. "Yeah..."

"And another thing- She does this thing where she'll smash my head like a watermelon. It's the best feeling. All the preasure. The scents and tastes. And then she'll pet my head and ugh fuck. She's just.." He closes his eyes, making a 'perfection' sign with his fingers and shakes his head with a sort of graditute. Like a food critic who finally found a dish they enjoyed. "A delicacy. I don't think I could ever find anything like that again.. or.. maybe it's just this talkin." He mumbles, looking at his bottle that somehow was empty already.

"I could try." He says, suddenly biting his tongue. Shit. This is exactly why he wasn't allowed to talk after his third bottle.

"T-try to find you a date I mean.."

Wade's eyes widden a bit, smirking and laughed. "Psshh yeah! Good save there. For a second I thought.." he pauses, like giving up on a deam, waving a hand. "Nah.. nevermind.."

Logan stares. God, what was wrong with him? Was he really about to let the first loser that was nice to him fuck him on a blood stained couch?

"Mhh, that reminds me. I got a thing tomarrow."

Watching Wade stand up, panic rises through his spine. "Wait!"

Collecting the empty bottles, Wade turns. "Yeah?"

"W-what... what kind do you like? D-do they have to be strippers?" He asks, making Wade laugh, walking to the kitchen to throw the bottles away and grab a soda from the fridge. "No definitely not. I think I only want one stripper in my life. Man, though if your asking I think strong chicks really do it for me. Hey, Or dudes. Or.. anyone really. Anyone that can handle this face ykno-"

He turns, seeing that Logan had pulled his jeans down, the throbbing heat a present that Wade wasn't expecting to get tonight.

"Like this?"

The tab breaks off from the can and explodes, quickly bubbling up an over the side of the can. "Shit- shit shit shit- Gimme. Second! I-ill be right there just- fuck! Stupid cheap son of a bitch." He curses at the can, scrambling to take it to the sink.

Logan smiles, a soft chuckle coming up out of his throat, shifting to take the rest of his jeans off, letting everything hang out.

Coming back, Wade wipes his hands on his shirt, eyes lighting up at the sight with such a stupid grin. "Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah that- that is gorgeous. YOU are gorgeous." For a moment all he does is gesture and admire the sight, biting his fist. His pjs get a bit tighter as he swallows. "Shit peanut. Your packin!" He says and Logan blushes, reaching for him.

Letting himself get pulled down, he's so grateful for the kiss, being sure to keep his hand up on the couch until told otherwise. Tilting his head a bit, Logan reached a bit more, trying to tug his shirt off, only to frown when Wade pulls away.

"Ohhh fucking hell." He breathes, pulling his lips to his forehead, now moving his hands to hold his cheeks. Logan smiles softly but has such a large look of confusion. What was happening? Why did he pull away?

"Look at me." He says, connecting their foreheads together as he stares at him. "Thank you, But you have had way too much to drink for that, tonight."

Logan frowns, feeling a little rejected, but it was probably just the alchool. "It was only two shots.."

Wade giggles, kissing his cheek again. "Yeah sure. Of vodka right?" He jokes, but Logan blinks, not understanding. "No.. its Whiskey."

"Uh huh. Two BOTTLES of whiskey, my sweet honey badger. Not shots."

"Same thing." He grabs his arm, trailing his hand down to his and places it on his upper thigh.

"Hey- woah. No no no." Wade takes the hand away. "Litsen to me. That-" he gestures, Hovering a hand a good 4 inches from the hot seeping skin. "That beautiful mess is mine in the mornin'. If you still want too that is.."

" 'mine'?"

He nods. "Yeah. Mine. But not until mornin' Mkay? We'll have a big talk and I'll spell my full name with my tongue. Until then, you need to sleep."

"B-but you said you're busy tomarrow."

"I'll cancel it. I'll wait, Logan. We can take as long as you want."

The man frowns as Wade pulls away, watching him head for the bedroom. "...but I want too now."

"I know, sweetpea, but contrary to people's belief, Deadpool doesn't roll that way. Now I'm not a monster, so what kinda toys do you want? They're all sanitized, so don't worry. How big you want? I got little ones, medium, massive ones. Pick your poison, babe"

Logan thinks for a moment, smirking. "How big is yours?"

Wade glances at him, swallowing and made a "mmmh.." noise as if both turned on, impressed, and thinking, putting his fist to his mouth. The pjs were tighter now. "Fuck, Now don't go saying all that, honey or we'll both do something we'll regret. Like I said. In about 6- eh maybe 8ish hours I will GLADLY have you for breakfast. But you know what they say about 3 am. And I want you to know you mean more than that to me." He says all this using his hands to gesture everything.

Logan watches as he goes into the room, rumaging through some things. What about 3 am? Was it really that late? Why did the time change anything?

Coming back, Wade tossed him a small bottle of lube, a pink suction 5 inch, and a vibrator. "I'll call Nessy tomorrow and ask her what kind of strap would fit you, and if you want, I'll pick it up on the way home."

He almost jolts when there's a fusia colored dick thrown at him, looking up at him with such big eyes. "You're really leaving me here..? But I thought..." There's a whine at the end of the sentence, as if Wade told him he was gross and would never sleep with him and abandoning him.

"Peanut.." he steps closer, crouching to his level, hands together. "I'm not leaving you. I'm going right in that room over there and gonna get farted on by an old woman while I sleep, which is gonna be super hard now (ha- thats what she said) but I swear to marvel jesus that in the morning, Im gonna eat the shit out of that man pussy. Understand?"

Logan blushes, nodding softly, the eyes wet from the not so happy thoughts.

"Good. Now. Imma walk away before your big sad puppy eyes change my mind. Like seriously. Put those things away. Who are you? Puss in boots? God damn. Who said you're allowed to be this cute, huh?"

"...'m not cute.." He says, eyeing the toys with a disappointing pout.

"Keep tellin' yourself that sweetheart." Wade coes, finally disappearing into the bedroom, the snoring woman inside making him sigh. Now... how the fuck was he going to sleep knowing there was a horny Wolverine out there that had a whole feast for him to devour?

Not well.. I'll tell you that right now..

[z0mb1epuzzy]

stumbled upon your blog and im obsessed to say the least. ur hcs awakened something in me.

OK so OBVIOUSLY all the ud guys are fairly muscular, but imagine the lodge during the summer & everyone was swimming, honestly just enjoying the heat n water n booze (lawl)

how do u think they’d react if they saw you staring? like just enamored with them n their body glistening in the sun

sorry if i sound insane but i need to see your opinion on this :3

HII ANON!! i’m so happy u like my blog omg!!!!! also love 2 see another :3 user in the year of our lord(markiplier), 2024

my thoughts on this…. mmnghh sweaty drunk buff boys hngh. sorry that was so vile BUT I’ll address them all individually…

contains: Chris, Josh, Mike, & Matt

.✭..✭..✭..✭. .✭..✭..✭..✭.

.✭ Chris Hartley

starting w chris bc he is in fact my everything… it would depend on how drunk he is, he’d either get super embarrassed or start fake flexing at you.. like a “you enjoying the gun show?” with that stupid smile i need him.. it would also depend on if you’ve ever previously seen chris without his usual layers, or if the pool was the first time…he’d be a bit embarrassed, but kinda “cocky” about it, (insert the “i could bench like… two hundred!” deleted voice line.)

(def check out my sleeper build! chris hcs!!! if ur into that!!!)

.✭ Josh Washington

next josh!! he’s more generally confident imo, controversial take, but i see him as MORE confident than mike in a way, but if he saw you staring, he’d give you a flirty little grin regardless of if he was drunk or not.. but drunk josh would totally tease you a little more, it’s half-coherent and slurred, but you can get the gist?? maybe??

“hey gorgeous, you can look aaallll you want..” type shit

.✭ Mike Munroe

mike… we all know mike is hot, he is canonically hot, i too would commit atrocities for a chance to hop on his cream canon… but dear god him in the pool… oh my… oh me oh my… his big arms flexing DEAR GOD.

that being said, if he catches you staring, i don’t think he’d make it obvious that he knows, but he’d definitely flex his arms a lil just to watch your reactions.. and tease you about it later, obviously

mike is one of those dudes to throw someone in the pool to flirt btw

I NEED TO SEE THIS MAN SHIRTLESS BC HIM IN HIS TANKTOP IS ALREADY DOINF THINGS TI ME.

anyway….

.✭ Matt Taylor

now Matt..…

he’s a little more of a difficult case because he’s less cocky than mike or even chris (jokingly), but he’s attractive!

it’s hard to tell if he’d be the macho guy, threatening to throw you into the pool to mess with you, or if he’d actually be really respectful about it?

that being said, if he caught you staring, he’d be a little flustered!!! but he’d def try to play it off, not WELL but the effort is there!? “Hey, you make a habit of staring? uh.. look all you want, i’m flattered.” (his personality is so hard for me to write i am so sorry 😖)

.✭..✭..✭..✭. .✭..✭..✭..✭.

chat can we pretend that this isn’t another one that i wrote a month ago and it went to drafts instead of posting… 🤨

also how do we feel about the formatting on this one!?? i thought the little stars would be cutie…

[the-s1lly-corner]

How they react to you telling them you're pregnant

Obligatory reader is afab but like most of my posts they're gn/gendered pronouns aren't used

Slenderman;

Cue the confusion

Pregnant?

Surprised more than anything, he didnt think that he could get you pregnant considering you're both different species

And also he didnt think he was fertile; at least not in the normal sexual reproduction way

Kinda just

Accepts it

Now do I think he would be a good dad?

Maybe? He wouldn't be horrible or absent, but some human things are still foreign to him, including raising a child.. so hes probably going to need a decent amount of guidance

I feel like he'd also be a helicopter parent? He already watches you like a hawk, he'd probably start doing the same with his kid as they get older

"Hey (kid name) who's that tall white boy following you??" "Oh that's my dad"/j

Becomes more protective of you during the pregnancy and the weeks after

Takes it in stride tbh

Splendorman;

Pause

Before you start to worry he scoops you up

Also thought it wasnt possible, but is hyped when he finds out the news

He WILL pamper you... may also dip into overbearing territory, though

He just doesnt want you or the baby to get hurt

He says goodnight to the bump later on in the pregnancy tbh

Oh you know hes gonna be decorating their room and giving them loads of toys

Would be a good father but may dip into unhealthy habits

This dude struggles with toxic positivity imo, so that's definitely something that's gonna need to be addressed

Laughing Jack;

Okay obviously ALL of them are probably going to be sat down and told the news, but Jack is gonna need the most talking to given that he probably doesn't grasp the gravity of it

He KNOWS what pregnancy is, he KNOWS what a baby is; but he doesn't know the intricacies of pregnancy if that makes sense

Like he doesnt know about the soreness, or cravings, or how fragile those tiny human beings actually are. Dude already struggles with being gentle with adults

So it's going to require a long and in depth talk about everything that's going to happen if you guys decide to keep the kid

Reaction wise, he takes it seriously. Kind of uncanny compared to his usual silly demeanor

Again, due to him being a lil dumb hes almost under reacting

As a parent I think...

Okay he'd probably kinda suck

He would love the kid but he would be so so so irresponsible I'm so sorry

Gives the kid candy for meals (bro cant cook)

Get that man into some parenting classes PLEASE

Eyeless Jack;

Another "I'm surprised because I deadass thought I was infertile" one, given my whole lore/Hc for EJ

The most worried out of them all

"What if they're like me and are cursed? What if they hate me? What if they grow to hate me? What if-"

He baby proofs his cabin... before insisting that the baby stays at your place primarily (if you haven't moved in with him) because he's scared of his whole... eating people thing

Please give him loads and loads of reassurance, hes gonna need it

He'll work hard to be the best father he can be, though!

He takes the kid out for walks in the woods, teaches them different plants and bugs and tells them which are dangerous

"Oh I don't want to hold them, what if I hurt em?" *falls asleep while holding his baby after reading them a story*

Masky;

You gotta baby proof him and the house im sorry, hes feral

Another "you're gonna have to sit him down and lay down the rules" type deal

Hes already mellowed out around you but he needs to mellow out a touch more for an infant

Hard to gauge his reaction but he seems.... excited? Hard to tell when hes sitting still and wearing a mask

When the baby comes he, like slenderman, also watches them like a hawk

You will walk in on him sitting over their crib at 3am/hj

Surprisingly gentle when it comes to handling the kid, just casually walks around with them and shit

Great for looking after the kid during the night while you rest

Hoodie;

V similar to Masky but he's already naturally calm

Putting this here now before I forget but he would take his mask off to make faces at the baby to try to make them laugh

Mf doesn't take his mask off for you though ☝️🙄/hj

Surprisingly good at calming down screaming infants for some reason

Similar reaction as Masky; hard to read but way easy to guess its positive since he lightly boinks where his mouth would be under his mask to your cheek while papping your stomach

Hes a lil silly

But hes got the spirit

Good dad, me thinks

[book--wyrm]

Pengu Finale Liveblog ahhhhhh

Julian just absolutely brain blasting this old woman

Oh Rex is close enough to call her doll and make her breakfast he is not beating the deadbeat daddy allegation

OH NO DOES SHE KNOW OH MY GOD SHE KNOWS

NEVERMIND I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG

holy shit holy shit holy shit

okay so they did find the bodies eventually holy fuck hooooooly fuck

oh my god rex literally teaching francis how to manipulate oz and use him oh my god ohhhhh my god this is so much more of a betrayal than if francis had just hated him for what he'd done

she knew all along she knew all along and she used him and she

she

oz was right ahahahahah every relationship in his life is fuckign transactional because he KILLED THE ONLY TWO BOYS WHO TRULY LOVED HIM, AND KILLED HIS MOTHER'S LOVE WITH THEM

dude he has to kill his mother now

this is a psychological nuke the likes of which i think sofia could not possibly have ever imagined.

Francis's FACE oh my god.

Julian baby boy maybe Sofia should stand out of sight to not break immersion

God this is absolutely not how hypnotism works is it

IT'LL BE EASIER NOW YOU LITTLE PSYCHO

"I see you in ways other people don't" while she is ACTIVELY USING HIM

dude. dude. I just. It's always the same with Oz, isn't it. Sofia, Eve, his mom. He's the biggest bullshitter in Gotham, and he's so full of it he doesn't have a clue how to sniff it out

God they are both so horrific to each other. Just his horrible cycle of selfishness and toxicity what a twisted family they are

HELLO VIC I MISSED YOU

Oh rip lmao I guess the gangs know the bliss is all gone

Vic baby he's saying all the same stuff oz does, only he believes it, so he can't bullshit people to his side

Oh hey that dude on the other side of the walkie talkie lived!!

Man Oz and Sofia haven't been face to face since ep 4 hahahaha

BERTO MENTION. she hasn't used that name in a hot second

Oh my god Sofia literally using that bird nest metaphor ahahahh whoever that anon was in my inbox you are a genius

Man. Sofia literally just laying out all their horrible family drama in the worlds worst family therapy oh my god

Dude I've been saying for weeks now that Sofia's superpower is to completely shatter people with the truth and. ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wait. Is Sofia going to give that cigar cutter in her cleavage to Francis to use on Oz. I think she should give it to her.

Uh. Nevermind

Wow Sofia really is leaning into this evil therapy thing what the fuck. girl.

God i desperately want her to be the girl-jonkler running the aslume at the end of this show please please please

Also Sofia, I think it was the left. I mean I'm sure she knows just so she can do the other one next, but. man. she is fuckin sadistic. im love....

Julian so enthusiastic about all of this hahaahah

I love Sofia like, almost framing this to them or possibly herself as a gift she is giving to Francis. Is this cope? Is this something she sincerely believes? Or is she just being cruel?

I ALREADY FUCKIN KNOW

It's my finger you spineless prick hahahaahha but that doesn't matter to him because its your love he wants it's your adoration your pride and what actually happens to you? Doesn't fucking matter.

I NEVER STOPPED HATING YOU

Sofia's face right then like. damn dude. god i love her

She had enough love for all of them and he soured every last drop of it. For them, for him, for the world.

Sofia really does know the value of just letting a drama play out.

Francis saying Sofia is right this ep, Sofia saying Francis was right last ep, damn.

Oz really is... the only character in this show chronically incapable of learning

Damn mama cobb strong enough to smash a bottle. I don't think even i could do that.

Oh my god no wonder she said "they look at me like i'm not even theirs" because in her mind, she let their murderer go free

also is oz gonna hulk out that she's showing love to an imaginary jack and benny when oz has just seen her hate?

Oh is she just dying right now

Julian doing the get down mr president

MR DETECTIVE YOU DIPSHIT

Sofia baby you did great okay you already hurt Oz please just go to italy with your boy toy

Wow is he not getting this fucking stab looked at

EW EW EW EW

Yeah sure sure. Sofia stabbed you. Sure. Sure.

Oh noooo. Vic... baby.... he is such a believer in Oz's stupid self serving bullshit. He is so good. And pure. And he speaks from the heart and. And Oz acts like this is something Vic rehearsed

And they laugh about it but Vic doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that Oz isn't giving him advice on how to most effectively show people the fire you hold in your heart—he's teaching him the art of smoke and mirrors. how to con and grift and bullshit until even you don't know what's true and real

Christ. Vic is so fucking dead

She'd never look at me again unless i get this done.

Oz knowing now that this love is transactional. And fine. He'll make that transaction, he'll take down sofia and then maybe his mom will pretend again that she doesn't hate him, doesn't want him dead

it's not going to work, of course. it can't because this show is about him becoming the penguin. and it can't, because even that transaction was always a lie Francis told herself

I don't think she could ever have loved Oz even if he'd gotten her into a penthouse at age 20. I think she lied to herself to survive living with him, because what was the alternative? Losing all three of her boys?

AHAHAHAHAHAH SOFIA LITERALLY PICKING UP OZ'S GOLD SUMMIT MEMBERS i have to say. I did not anticipate this at ALL

damn girlie really is just gonna dip to go to italy or wherever

sofia really is just setting up the funniest game of capture the flag imaginable while cramming like seven olives in her mouth

i dont' say this often. i desire her carnally.

The gun in the glove compartment surely that will not come back later

Oz originally checking his image in the reflection of the car vs asking Vic now, treating this kid as his reflection

Damn. Is Link really going to fall for Oz's shit again after that truck of cigs thing? Or is this just a ploy to get Oz into the right place for Sofia to pick him up?

Actually maybe that's what loses Vic, that Link betrayed him, and Oz expected it. Idk we shall see

Penguin planning to run for mayor in a couple movies?

Oh Oz is totally gonna send sofia to arkham ahahaha poor baby

Oh my god I thought Sofia was gonna claim credit for Sal's death, not that Oz would give it up himself

I cannot tell you guys how fucking tempting it is to skip right to the end of this episode to see if i'm right you guys

Wow Oz really eyeing that Mayor's office

Is he going to kill Bella and frame Sofia. Is he gonna kill bella and THAT is what turns Vic on him.

oh my god LINK

HAHAHAH I WAS SO RIGHT SHE IS BURNING DOWN FALCONE MANOR

oh god that's the watch Sofia gave him for his birthday FUCK YOU CARMINE

Sofia really is gonna fucking screw over EVERYONE hahaha THREE CIGS BABY

oh god she is so hot i love her you self actualize through arson baybeeeeeeee

that shot of her throwing the cig like a dart is so much oh my god

babygirl i love you

you deserve the world

but yeah she is going into the cold according to the needle drop. definitely going back to arkham

... what's in the trunk. i don't think it's normal luggage. is it more bombs

there is still 20 mins left. i am afraid

This is clearly a trap for someone i just don't know who. Where is vic

I'm so afraid this is the last we get to see of Sofia.

She knows. She always has such a nose for bullshit lmao. Also fuck you Link you gotta know Oz is gonna stab you in the back.

I do think it's promising that Julian has not been seen all day tho. What is he doing.

I love this. I love that Oz and Sofia finally get this one moment to be truly honest with each other.

Well. At the very least, Oz gets to be honest with Sofia. idk that he knows how to be honest with himself anymore.

Why does this look like a chemical factory. I know it's not happening but it'd be so funny for Sofia to become the joker right now.

just dunk her in the goop

Man. Is he actually going to shoot her. Police pls come and save my girl. Cannot believe that's what I'm begging for now.

oh my god

yeah i called it but. Man. This is so painful to watch. also i think my julian prayers are not going to be answered it did not look like Sofia had planned any of this

okay i'm normal about sofia being arrested now.

Okay. I'm normal.

I'm back to not being normal francis and vic and oz all in one place this is all gonna blow up emotionally

Is francis in a coma. is she totally brain dead oh my god.

oh man she really is never going to say she loves him hahaha

she let jack and benny's murderer go and it never got her anything

is he gonna kill her now.

TELL ME YOU'RE PROUD OF ME oz you fuckin

he's so fucking delusional jesus putting her hand on his head

dude. is Vic actually gonna live through this episode

holy fuck

did not call that in the least

well. i was right about the pyrrhic victory for Oz

"All kinds of things" shut the fuck up.

God. I cannot believe Vic is living through this show. Admittedly as the kind of guy that his parents would have been ashamed of, but.

Wait. No no

don't

don't do it

no nondfonfodnfodnfodfn

please dont

pelase dont

oz don't you dare

nONONNNONONONONONONONONONONONO

PLEASE DOJNT DO IT NOW PLEAE

NO NO HE IS THEO NLY ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE WEAKNESS AND HUMAN IN YOU

OZ YOU

OZ

NO

WITH YOUR HANDS???? WITH YOUR FUCKIGN HANDS???? I THOUGHT HE WOUDL PULL A GUN AT LEAST YOU FUCKING

ODSOFANDFONSODNOSDAGNOGNIOAGDSASGJDISGNAGLNFGOSANFOSDO

SANO

NON NO NONONONO

VIC

vic. vic. vic barely lived a month longer than his family

all that good heart and he just. enabled a monster to rise to power. to make gotham worse

HE'S MUGGING HIM

YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT YOU BASTARD YOU

i

i

and the water takes him too.

JULIAN

oH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT AHHAAHHAHAHA

JULIAN

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOFIA GETTING MARRIAGE PROPOSALS HAHAHAHAHAH

SELINA KYLE???????? HELLO??????????????

bro.... oh my god..... this is....

I'm so happy.........

sofia smiling... sofia finding a new family member....

nvm i am so glad my original theories were wrong this is way better than anything i could have hoped for

oh my god

ohhhhh my god he actually is keeping his mom in a vegetative state.... exactly what she begged him not to do.......

she knows.... she knows... some part of her is aware in there ahahahahah

you should have let Rex kill him all those years ago

oh my god EVE???? EVE GIRL GET OUT BEFORE HE KILLS YOU TOO

oh no please tell me he never learned what happened with sofia and eve

hes literally just calling her ma. fuck me. mayeb that means eve is safe for now

NOT THE BATSIGNAL

[thebestandrealestever]

~LET THE LIGHT IN!~

part one: “friends?”

black fem coded! reader x miles morales 42 sum: ur his light :) .grumpy x sunshine kinda . warns : n word use, arguments translations: sol= sun

a/n: hey bookies , school beatin my ass !!! ima try to update at LEAST twice a week . yaal can slap me if i don’t, lol enjoy <33 . as always this is heavily unedited and this is short because it’s going to have multiple parts! a lil sum sumi’ve been working on.

miles used to be talkative, before you know what happened. he was quieter and if he did talk it was cold toned and short lived, you noticed that he didn’t talk and that’s no way to spend your high school years. so you were going to no determined to be his friend this year, it doesn’t hurt that you think he’s cute also.

“hey miles” you smiled at him as you took your seat next to him, he just nodded at you not even looking back. you smiled awkwardly to yourself but ultimately shook it off. you said hi to him and small talk every day, he was still the same monotone dude who never reciprocated the cheerful manner you spoke to him in so you decided do stop, you weren’t gonna waist your time trying to be nice to a gu-

“hey (name). how was your morning?” speak of the devil, even though his tone was rock hard if sounded like he was at least trying, you turn your head to him and see the small smile tugging at his lips and you return it “hey miles!” you ramble on to him about your morning and he talks too.

the next 3 days he didn’t show up at all, it did worry you a bit but maybe he was just sick. when he did come back he had a fat bruise on his sharp cheekbone, you noticed it when he sat down.

“what happened to your face? is it the reason you haven’t been at school. are you okay miles?” you turn your whole body to look at his bruise moving his chin with your hand. “don’t worry about it, sol. im good” he said gently brushing your hand off of his face but you didn’t believe it one bit. “but i am worried, tell me what happened?” you eagerly said almost demanding, putting your hand back on his chin and moving it up to get another look at the bruise and you knew his temper was short but you didn’t care right now, that’s not normal. “i said im good (name) u can stop acting like u care so much now.” he spat feigning annoyance through gritted teeth pushing your hand off.

you raised a eyebrow confused at that last part, “i can stop acting like i care. nigga i do care, you’re my friend miles and i care about my fucking friends. but you right, ima stop acting” you said sarcasm coating your voice as you turn to face the other way fake focusing on whatever work was infront of you , you hear miles sigh deeply after 10 or so minutes and you roll your eyes at it.

“i’m sorry, sol.” you turn your eyes at him but not your body, waiting for him to say something else “it’s been a bad week, ian mean to take it out on you. i know you care. i’m sorry.” he said in a tone that almost sounded convincing, he never usually apologized, “my bads”were the closest thing you got to one. you shift in your seat to look him in the eyes, you had never fought before, you didn’t know what to do with this. “i’m not gonna say it’s okay because it’s not, i get it though. but definitely don’t do that shit again.” you say assertively whilst keeping a small smile on your face. he stifled a laugh “yeah. i won’t.” there’s a pause between the two of you just looking at each other. “friend huh? you wanna be my friend?”

he says leaning back in his chair, keeping his eyes on you. “i am your friend, i’m trying to be atleast. but i can’t if you won’t let me.” you shrug laying the weight of your head on your shoulder until you feel a pair of toned arms around you, you shook your eyes wide open because miles never initiated touch. “i’m trying to. i’m sorry.” he says muffled by the fabric of your shoulder that he’s currently stuffing his face inside of. he hasn’t had a friend in a while, this was weird. but maybe he could be yours.

[pabit]

Hi, its Patrick speaking.

Michael somehow locked up both of the camera creeps in the bathroom. I guess they were freaking him out while he was repairing the door or some shit? The footage is pretty much useless, which is a bit irritating…but I’ve transcribed the audio for you all here. I think its crucial to provide the full word-for-word conversation.

----

> welp…the hole has been patched. i will have to replace the entire door eventually but um, this will work for right now.

> …

> uh…

> ......

> habit?

> …YES?

> are you...upset about what i said earlier?

> WHAT? NO NO…IM FINE. > don’t even worry about it.

> …you’re lying.

> no i’m not—

> habit…i may be mentally unwell, but im not stupid. i know that look in your eyes. i know that tone in your voice. ive seen it all before - i was practically raised on the sadness of my institutionalized peers.

> IS THAT HOW YOU SEE THE HABIT? AS ONE OF THOSE PATHETIC FUCKING CRAZY HUMANS?

> ah…i wouldnt describe them that harshly but i mean, basically yeah? > they are just people with problems man…many of whom have done some fucked up things, patrick and myself included. mostly though, they are kinda just…sad. Because they keep fucking up, or getting fucked up, and they dont know how to stop it. evidently you are not much different from them or myself in that way

> so uh— i just wanna say that i’m sorry for my behavior. i was being a jackass and it was uncalled for. i wanted to believe you deserved that and much worse but…i dunno. spewing blind hatred like that doesnt sit right with me.

> ….... > no. don’t apologize.

> what? why not?

> nothing you said was inaccurate nor unjustified, michael. why be sorry about that?

> because, uh…you apologized to me first? an' well, thats unlike you. at least, its unlike whatever i thought of you before today. maybe patrick is onto something…and maybe i was little too quick to judgment.

> HA…ARE YOU SURE YOURE NOT STUPID? I’VE DESTROYED MORE THAN JUST YOUR DOOR. I KILLED—

> i know. i know. and i dunno if i’ll ever truly forgive you for taking my brother away…but like. i also can recognize the value of an apology. it’s a good start, if you really mean it.

> …

> do you mean it, habit? are you actually sorry?

> I HAVE NOTHING TO GAIN FROM LYING TO YOU.

> sure– unless you think appeasing me is what will keep yourself from being kicked out and left to die alone

[HABIT laughs]

> I’D BE A MORON TO SINCERELY BELIEVE THAT. YOU AND PATRICK HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BAR ME FROM THIS PLACE, AT ANY TIME, FOR ANY REASON. I ACCEPT THAT. I WOULD DESERVE IT. AND ONE WAY OR ANOTHER…I WILL DIE WITH ALL OF MY REGRETS RIGHT BESIDE ME.

> I APOLOGIZED BECAUSE, WELL…I BELIEVE YOU DESERVE ONE, WHILE I STILL HAVE THE TIME TO GIVE IT. ONE LESS REGRET TO TAKE TO THE GRAVE, EH? > there is no other reason.

> you believe i deserve an apology, huh...

> ERRR…YEAH. > I CANT PRETEND LIKE I FULLY UNDERSTAND ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH MY ACTIONS HAVE AFFECTED YOU…BUT UM...

> YOU LOST SOMEONE DEEPLY IMPORTANT TO YOU. I HAVE LOST SOMEONE RECENTLY TOO. AND UH, IT…HURTS. IT HURTS AND IM THE ONLY MONSTER TO BLAME. > IF THE PAIN I LIVE WITH NOW IS EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO WHAT I’VE DONE TO YOU…THEN YES…i am sorry.

> I KNOW THAT WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH AND WONT FIX A DAMN THING...SO THROW ME OUT, IF YOU MUST. I WILL GO WITHOUT QUESTION.

> …

> …

> …

> …WELL?

> ...... . . . . . .........

> MICHAEL?

> …ugh…uh, hey…habit.

> ERR— PATRICK?

> heh…you got it…

> sorry im…still a bit fuzzy upstairs at the moment.

> UM. OKAY. SIT DOWN THEN?

[I flopped into the couch next to Habit, kinda bracing against him to ground myself.]

> SO UM– > IS MICHAEL ALRIGHT?

> Michael…? Oh right. > He’s fine.

> …THAT'S ALL? JUST FINE?

> Ugh– dude my head is killing me right now, gimme a break…

> OH. SORRY.

> Its– its okay, Habit. This is nothing out of the ordinary, really…it happens pretty often when I come around.

> AH…

> Anyways, ummmm…yeah! > Michael is fine. Processing everything, but he's fine. I won't go into more detail though…it's not really my place to talk about his feelings about you, after all. He will come back to say what he needs to when he is ready.

> AND IF HE IS NEVER READY…? IF HE WANTS ME GONE?

> Luckily for you, Mikey doesn't have the only say in that matter. You still have me, Habs – and I want you to be here.

> ................

----

Habit didn't say anything else after that, so thats when I decided to get up and let the creeps out of the bathroom. Now I'm in the kitchen; finishing up this post and waiting for this batch of cookies to bake. I'm just trying to give Hab's brain a moment to catch up with itself, y'know? You know. Whatever. Hopefully the sweets will lighten the mood. I promise I wont eat them all this time, heh.

It also appears that I have missed some interesting bits of insight while out of the house today, so I will check back in later once I am better informed and Habit has gotten a few dozen cookies in his stomach.

[ask] >>

[theosconfessions]

if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here :)

if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here:)

@ohsosims

blake- im just saying shes obsessed with me and you need to talk to her. get her to stop. all im hearing is shit from the guys now..instead of football its like hey did you bang her too. its a whole thing

river-goddamnit youre so cute,ted

blake- riv ! are you hearing anything im saying

river: i am but im having a hard time sympathizing with it to be honest,man

blake - we were broken up man

river: i know. im not faulting you for having a fling with someone. the issue isnt that. i did it too. the problem is it was SID. and you knew that was her boyfriend

blake- you dontknow the whole story man. it was more on the level than you think

river- i dont want to know the whole story. because its probably going to make you look like an asshole.and we're in a good place now,right? we have teddie.we are getting a new house finally. we're in a good place

blake: i know but its just irritating me that she has this way to speak what she said happened and i dont

river- i may be pulling a my dad here but i do not want to know if it was anything more than what she saying. you did something shitty. youre owning it now. leave it where it lies, man seriously. like just take the hit. you did something shitty because of who it was with . she has the right to be upset about it no matter how 'on the level ' it was. like just man up blake . we're 22 years old. like grow the fuck up. im putting him to bed

blake- riv

river- dude if you followed me in here to fight..no

blake-i followed you in here to say youre right. i was kinda like makign excuses for the things ive done and i dont want to do that. i dont want to be another version of your dad so youre right. and ill just.. keep my mouth shut.

river- im not saying keep your mouth shut. but probably..possibly..maybe find it in yourself to maybe apologize to scarlett. you literally have never done it

blake- theres no way she'll give me the time of day man. shes hard to talk to . as soon as i walk in the room she walks out

river- well again, you slept with her boyfriend. id do the same. HELL i do the same whenever im at your games and that prick comes up to me. text her. just apologize. youre going to be in eachothers lives even if i divorce you

blake- [laughs] looking into the future

river: [winks] little bit. now get out so i can put ted to bed

[yand3reskullz]

Yandere loser (mini fic)

nsfw? (masturbating etc. shit like that not really bad tho)

You ran into him at the park but didn't seem to recognize him but of course he knew who you were the moment he saw you it did kind of make him sad at the thought you didn't recognize him, but you soon noticed him looking at you he quickly turned his head the other way you obviously confused but he seems upset, and you decide to talk to him, he seems nervous but like the good person you are you want to check up on him to see if he's okay.

yo dude are you okay I couldn't help but see you over here you looked a little down and I just wanted to check on ya to see if you were alright

"h-huh o-oh yeah! I'm alright thanks for checking on me though you're very kind ah I see... you're still the same kind loveable person as you were back in preschool always checking up on others to see if their okay, you're just so thoughtful...

huh did you say something?

o-oh! it's nothing i was just thank you for checking up on me! I really appreciate it no one's ever this kind to me...

ah no need to thank me I just think it's the least I can do you seem like you need a friend right now!

f-friend? you want to be my friend he thought of those romance story's where the friends become lovers hopefully that will happen between you both! he'll make sure of it he would always daydream about you two both being a happy couple and even getting married soon after delulu fr

I mean yeah why not speaking of that lets get to know each other better! what's your name? Sasha... well Sasha im y/n nice to meet you!

that's a really pretty name I like it

awe well aren't you just a charmer, well Sasha it was nice meeting you, but I have to go now but hey if you don't mind would you mind exchanging numbers before I go?

r-really?! you want to talk to me again? of course silly you seem like a shy but nice person I would love to know more about you! if you don't mind that is haha.

god he loved you and your laugh it was enough to make his day maybe even everyone's day you were just the brightest person he had ever met

well bye see you tomorrow!! "b-bye!" ... ahh... what a day today I met them again and they're as kind as ever...

Sasha slowly unzips his pants and his cock already sprung up damn he was hard already just from thinking about y/n they're just so perfect in every single way possible, when he finally had his hands on his length, he started off at a slow pace while thinking of y/n, they were a goddess in his eyes nothing could make him stop loving them as multiple images flashed through his mind of you he started going a bit faster n-ngh~ o-oh I'm gonna- ... fuck.. now he had a huge mess to clean up but at this point he didn't care he knew he was going to see y/n soon and he was ecstatic... see you soon my love<3

this was lowkey kinda rushed I just put something together rq because just making head canons don't sit right w me for some reason uhhh I take requests! and all that just ask me anything anyways bye!!

[jazeswhbhaven]

Look ı knowwww this game is hentai but. Hear me out please. I cant do this anymore İT İS JUST TOO MUCH, look ı might fuck off if this game was pure hentai but there are good character designs and interesting personalities and dynamicsz so ı just cant piss of it is too catchy for me. BUT FOR SAKE OF GOD İT İS JUST TOO MUCH HORNY AND İT COULD BE MORE BAREABLE İF MC WASNT FUCKİNG SPİNELESS ı saw ur asmo selfie post and saw mcs saying keep fucking me is...very mc behaviour but it irrated me why? BECAUSE THİS BİTCH DOES THİS WİTH EVERY FUCKİNG PERSON dude you are way above keep fucking me okay? You are about to fuck every living thing on solar system please just have a red line. Ok i understand storys base concept was virgin and knowing nothing but in story wise THİS SHİT JUST KEEPS GOİNG WİTHOUT END AND MC İS SHOWİNG ME THAT THEY ARE NOTHİNG BUT A BRAİN MELTED SEX ADDİCT. İ swear im okay with sex but this game has soooo much potential and story but it is showing us end of the day this is a sex similator and nothing is changing end of the day there is no obvi relation or feelings towards mc besides few persons other than that it is always bonding with sex and horny and nothing more they are just 'living dildos' to mc mh yeah they show little bit of emotions here and there. But there is a reason why side stories and events are much more fun, because less horny and more characters acting like luving beings not everything revolves around long and white sprounting thing.

Nonetheless ı hope you say your opinion too i wann hear really. But long story short ı dont think sex is everything and relationships reveolvs around it. Sex is a helper and great thing in relationships not a hinderance or shameful thing, but ı cant help myself GET FUCKİNG SECOND HAND EMBARSSMENT when goddamn mc is on screen.

Hey anon, fair warning when it comes to asking my opinion so hopefully I convey myself properly... When it comes to MC and their behavior and mindset for this game, which it's very clear now that their personality is "i'm more horny in theory but when it comes time to utilize that i crash and burn and act like i've never seen dick in my life" and that's what makes me roll my eyes because it's like you're in Hell...you can be as unhinged as you wish please just do that cause everyone keeps saying so.

Now when it comes to the sex content in the game and the way it was advertised, I came in with the expectation that this would be pretty much sex, more sex, and basically more sex. I came here for demon pixel dick and whelp that's what I got. I personally would have liked more of a variety. Maybe devils that are submissive, switches, bratty tops, finally got a pillow prince with Belphie. just missing a damn threesome or something the five kings card was...anyway

But that's just me.

I tend to not bring IRL things (like me not even putting sex on the hierarchy of needs) to media I enjoy unless it's for joking purposes and me being unserious.

NOW I'm not saying plot/slice of life/wholesome content is boring, I pretty much enjoy that breath of fresh air when reading lore, seeing how the devils interact on a day to day basis with one another. At this point since it's been a year I want m o r e of that.

But at the end of the day...they're demons...beings not really meant to be wholesome or human like or behave like us at all. Any wholesome content is a plus, but I'm here once again to scratch an itch.

TLDR: I came to fuck demons. MC isn't fucking them how I would...which is a disappointment, but that's what I'm here for. Lore/Slice of Life content is nice tho and I do enjoy it.

[v1nnydinny]

hey! how are u?? sorry if i'm bothering but could u do headcanons of Vance Hopper x Male reader who is like very sweet, kind but also very insecure and sensitive? love your writing!!

have a good day/night<3

Yes sir I gotchu :3

I’m honestly sooo in love with Vance Hopper dude it’s not even funny- Also like- IM SO SORRY FOR IT TAKING SO DAMN LIKE FOR YOU TO GET THIS-😭 I’ve been struggling a lot so I haven’t had the energy to write but please request as my as you want because it will ALWAYS. Get done :3

TW kissing, fighting, cussing- I’m dumb ash so tell me if there’s more

Vance Hopper x male reader headcanons <3

⋆Vance adores how sweet you are, he loves that you’re still sweet and kind even when he’s upset about something. (When’s he not?🥰)

⋆If anyone and I mean anyone. Says anything that even the slightest bit upset you or makes you feel bad about yourself we all already know that persons gonna have a trip to the hospital.

⋆because your his boyfriend? He’s not gonna let anyone make his partner feel bad in any sense.

⋆if he’s ever done/said smth that made you get all sensitive he’d feel really bad. Tho Vance is rude and violent in the movie he still would put his whole life into making sure he never did something to get you in a state like that.

⋆he loves you a lot! You’re the best boyfriend he could ask for!

⋆you guys listen to music all the time together whether it’s blondie, the runaways, kizz, weezer, Joan Jett, The Cramps.

⋆i think his fav song is Cherry Bomb by the runaways. Because who could blame him? It’s an amazing ass song!

⋆Vance definitely likes caramel candy- just had to say that-

⋆again Vance loves how sweet you are. A lot of the time he’ll go to you when upset just to hear your soft voice tell him that everything is okay

⋆he loves seeing your sweet adorable smile.

⋆he loves seeing how sweet and kind you are to others

⋆and ya a lot of people do think your relationship is “weird” because Vance is loud, aggressive and rude and your quiet, soft and sweet

⋆opposites attract 🤷🏻 I don’t make the rules.

⋆if he ever says something that makes you feel insecure he’d feel horrible. He’d be all over you, kiss you everywhere especially where he made you feel insecure and if it’s nothing with your body then he’d kiss your head as a way to “kiss away the thought”

⋆you guys definitely go on walks in the forest.

⋆he buys those bags of gummy’s that have gummy rings in them and he’d take all the gummy rings and purpose to you with them all and put every single one on your fingers.

“My beloved Y/N..will you make me the happiest guy alive and be my husband forever?”

⋆he’d say teasingly and kiss your check/lips after

⋆Vance obviously LOVES dogs. Tiny dogs- big dogs- he loves them!

⋆I can’t really see him as a cat person but at the same time I do….maybe it’s just if the cat is resting on his lap while he does whatever.

⋆one time you and Vance went to the grab ‘n’ go and were getting slushies and someone had randomly pointed at you and laughed an oh boy. They knew what they had coming. Vance set his slushie down and kissed your nose and told you to look away or don’t get close and then went up to the boy and proceeded to beat the ever loving shit out of him and you had to drag Vance out (leaving your slushies behind😔🤙🏻) and run off to hide because the cashier called the cops.

⋆for Valentine’s Day he got you a teddy bear and took you to grab ‘n’ go to get a bunch of snacks you wanted and then you guys would go home and watch movies all night.

⋆for Valentine’s Day one of the things you got him was matching pj pants which he loved-!!

⋆I see you guys baking to together even if he smashes and egg on your head just for the fun of it🥰🤙🏻 but if that upset you in anyway and made you sad he’d apologize and help you clean it out of your hair before giving you a gentle kiss on the hand

⋆gives you lots of piggy back rides and I mean a lot- he also does the thing where he pretends drop you but doesn’t actually, but he’ll stop if you don’t like that

⋆just cuz he loves you sm :)

⋆he sneaks through your window a lot and stays that night, your caregiver wasn’t to happy at first but saw how happy you were and you guys were also so cute sleeping together. They definitely took photos and there’s some around the house in frames.

⋆whenever he doesn’t come over you guys call alllll night!

OMGG!! This was so cute to make:) lmk if I should do more because I so will 🤗

[queerbatboy]

Jegulus drabble, maybe a minific?

Thinking about Biker James Potter... him and Sirius would be really into motorcycles and i can totally see them being besties who post abt their bikes like they're actual ppl.

ALSO besties Remus and Regulus who like to meet at the local cafe that Lily owns and gossip about books and people walking by when James parks outside to grab some coffees and pastries on the way to meet up with Sirius-

Remus and Reg are doing one of their favourite activities which is judging passerby's as potential dating options because Regulus is always whining about being lonely and hating seeing happy couples bc eww 🙄🙄[Remus is just as bad, only less vocal abt it.] When James walks in, Regulus is immediately VERY unsubtle about looking him up and down. Remus is now judging him bc "Mate you cant even see his face."

"Shut up. just the other day you got a glimpse of some guy at the club and have been waxing poetic about him since. i mean, honestly? all you saw was some black curly hair and a leather jacket dude."

"That's different! there was something about him i swear! and his dancing; oh the way he moved was fucking sinful you dont understand-"

"Yeah yeah i get it he looked like an angel who moved like a devil; you've told me a million times in the past 48 hours I swear. -Wait shut up shut up hes taking off the helmet look!"

"Oh? yeah i guess hes good looking, pretty face. not really my type though" Remus looks over to Regulus whose jaw is now hanging open while his eyes look as if they'll fall out of his skull if he strains them any further. "Reg, you're drooling."

"Am not."

"You so are. Go ask him for his number" Remus nudges Regulus, trying to get him to go over to the counter where James was.

"Fuck no. i'm not just going to go over there and talk to him! 'oh hi i've been staring at you since you came in because you're so hot i feel like i'm going to die if you don't look at me' i mean are you kidding?? Remus? rem- NO. nonononono don't you DARE! oh i'm going to fucking kill you."

Remus calls out and waves at James to come over, smiling at him. "Hey, my friend here was wondering what model your bike is, it looks sick."

Regulus is so fucked. Not only is the handsome stranger even hotter now that he's facing them, big brown doe eyes looking at Regulus with curiosity and, maybe, interest? shit. But the gorgeous stranger is looking at him, waiting for him to say something, and Regulus knows absolutely fucking nothing about motorcycles.

should i continue this? definitely not my best writing as its just me getting thoughts out of my head but oh boy does this AU have a chokehold on me. I'm also thinking artist reg for this au, because duh, ofc im projecting onto him. not sure what remus is doing with his life tho... open to suggestions.

Ps. btw in this AU sirius and regulus are still brothers, but they don't talk much and havent really seen eachother in a few years after a big argument about how sirius left him alone with their parents as a teenager etc.

[gingerjolover]

Pet Names - PB

thank you guys for being so patient! i didn't forget about my girl don't worry!!!

i am once again using soft!gf as inspo i literally cannot stop

i'm also making babe/baby/honey standard from here on out, that being said, i WILL be going back and updating Julien and Lucy's accordingly

rpf smut under da cut - minors gtfo

Darling/Sweetheart - soft!phoebe lives for traditional pet names. there is something in the domesticity of it all that she loves and chases after. these names give soft!pheebs, morning!pheebs, bedtime!pheebs and i will gladly accept discussion but nothing can change my mind. there isnt anything sexual about them in my mind with phoebe, simply because she is using them first thing in the morning, like she left the window open accidentally last night so you, maxine and phoebe are huddled together, your cold foot rubs her leg and she's like "shit sweetheart, are you cold?" in like the raspiest, softest murmur ever. also half asleep, eyes shut, just places repetitive pecks on your temple before whispering, "goodnight darling" and holding you close.

Pretty/Pretty girl - phoebe greets you with the "hi pretty!" often. she's running off after her first eras show and straight into you arms being like, "hi pretty! how did i do?" beaming and kissing you firmly on the lips. maybe she's at the studio with lucy and julien or her band and she's writing, utterly exhausted and you walk in with a pick me up and she's instantly lighting up, "hey pretty girl, im so happy to see you!" before kissing your hair.

okay hear me out im workshopping this but... phoebe with a strap, you're on all fours but she's making YOU move back against her and she's being so stubborn because she could push you down and fuck you but noooo, "if you want it pretty you have to work for it," and eventually you'll be whining so much that dom!phoebe is like scoffing and pulling your hips, finally starting to thrust into you, "alright okay, fine, i'll fuck you pretty girl, no need to whine."

Dove - @whore4munagenius and i both had this on our list (twins). they had mentioned animal pet names like ladybug, dove, puppy, all of which i think phoebe would fw. i had it on my list because of the bird and dog metaphors and just bird symbolism in relationships like doves, lovebird, and swans. i think she loves the animal nicknames and uses them when it's just the two of you and she can be a little softer and more connected with you. it's not that she's embarassed by the names but it's not like she's gonna call you puppy or bunny at the dmv, ya know? I think she writes dove more than she says it, like she's putting 'to: dove, love: pheebs' on your birthday or holiday gifts.

My girl - the classic, very boyfriend!phoebe. always saying stuff like "there's my girl!" or "look at my girls," when talking about you and maxine. has a "this is her" photo of you on her phone, "this is my girl," and she would be SO proud of it too. if she's not referencing you as her partner, she's saying "my girl", and it flows into her friendships like the possessiveness of the name makes its way into her music like maybe the boys are performing and julien is introducing a song and is like "your girl loves this one," and phoebe is like "yeah she does," IDK I THINK ITS CUTE

she 1000% uses 'my girl' in a mocking way, mean!phoebe doesn't mess around and she's telling you to grind on her thigh but you're so desperate you can't get a rhythm going and she's just sighing being like, "c'mon...i know my girl can do better than that," before her hands grip your hips harshly and start to rock you

BONUS - Bro/Dude/Man - Pheebs canonically calls everyone any of these names but remember soft!gf is the boss and there's a difference between being at a dinner or something and phoebe is showing everyone a video, "bro look at this," where soft!gf is in the group. but if y'all are at home and phoebe is getting maxine ready for a walk and asks "can you hand me her leash, dude?" soft!gf just gives her a look like 'who do you think you're talking to rn?' and phoebe is up immediately, "sorry pretty girl," kissing her lips passionately