#hes such a toddler

[canisalbus]

✦ Picciriddu ✦

[norman-fucking-reedus]

the fact that this is so me too there would be constant arguments over some of the smallest things

it does in fact matter which way you put a roll of toilet paper on, and it’s definitely not where the paper is at the back of roll. Daryl doesn’t really care which way the roll goes

You let out an exasperated sigh, placing a hand on your hip as you stared at him. “I just don’t understand why you aren’t getting what I’m saying”

He snapped back almost instantly, “‘Cause s’ a roll of fuckin’ toilet paper. Back or front, ‘works either way” gesturing to the roll in question as it sat on the holder.

“Yeah, but the front just feels better” You said, watching how Daryl’s face went from angry to totally flat.

“Oh wha’? More fluffy when s’in tha’ front or somethin’?” He mocked sarcastically, placing both his hands on his hips as he cocked his head at you, watching as you groaned and rolled your eyes. “Okay nevermind!” You said as you walked out the bathroom, only to be followed by a sassy “No tell me! Really would love to know wha’ difference it’d make!”

There would be a lot of arguments being in a relationship with Daryl.

Daryl only ever argues with people he cares about.

Ofc he’s soooo loving and kind and gentle but he’s also a very stressed man.

He’s a passive aggressive “arguer”.

You think the blanket looks nice draped over the back of the couch, Daryl prefers it folded on the arm of the couch.

He won’t say anything until he’s grumpy after a long day, he slumps on the couch with you and you ask for the blanket.

He has to reach BEHIND to get it which he does so with a grumble.

Once he drapes it over you, you notices dogs hair all over it

“Eugh! Gross”

And Daryl would respond with almost a whisper.

“Wouldn’t happen if ya quit movin’ it”

•

He would do a lot of stuff like that, he never lost his sass.

He’d give attitude alllll the time.

Both of you would laugh about it ten minutes later but he could be a grumpy git.

———————

I wanted to add more to this but my brains too tired

[alienzil]

Nanny Danny

“That is a whole ass baby,” was the only thought running through Lex Luthor’s head when the scientist proudly showed him the tube containing Project KR. It was not remotely the sort of thing he would normally think and most definitely not what he had expected to be thinking the first time he saw the clone.

He’d been pleased when he’d read the reports indicating the success of KR after years of failures. Lex had poured millions of dollars and literally his own blood into ensuring a clone of the alien could be made, one that would be under his total control instead of the unknown aspirations of Superman.  He’d wanted to see the fruits of his labors personally but this…

It. No, not an it. He scrunched his tiny face and smacked his lips and…did he smirk? Was that HIS SMIRK on that baby’s face?! No. No. Babies this small didn’t smile or smirk. They passed gas and their sleep deprived and addled parents mistook it for an intelligent response. He’d heard enough inane conversations in the Lexcorp office about the various progeny of his employees to pick up on that but still. This child had Kryptonian DNA, not to mention his own contribution. Surely, he was far more advanced than the dribbling potato shaped lump of an infant whose pictures he’d been forced to smile and nod over when Mark from accounting had rudely shoved them in his face at the last quarterly budget meeting. Yes, that was definitely a smirk. His, that was his smirk.

“So as you can see its growth is well within expected parameters and we’re planning to start phase one of accelerating the maturation process tomorrow once the testing is do-”

“Take him out.”

“Sir? The testing can all be accomplished while it remains in the tube. There’s no need to-”

“I said, take him out. The project is cancelled.”

“What?! Mr. Luthor you can’t!”

“I think you’ll find I can. Now get me my son.”

*****

Two years later

“Call them again”

“Sir, I’ve called them seven times. They won’t answer.”

“Then call another agency!”

“There isn’t another agency, Sir”

Lex glared at his assistant who stared back at him impassively. Mercy stood by the door staring off into the distance and pretending she didn’t notice him being bested by his own secretary.

He stopped himself from shouting again and took a deep breath before asking, “Then what, exactly, do you propose I do Mrs. Anderson? Adjust my entire schedule around naptimes? Find a toddler size lab coat and safety goggles and bring my son with me to tour the new clean energy project on Thursday? Perhaps buy a tiny business suit while I’m at it for the next board meeting?”

“I’m not suggesting anything of the sort, Mr. Luthor. I’m telling you that no childcare agency in Metropolis will return my calls anymore. Most won’t even answer.  You’ve gone through 27 nannies in the last 3 months. You need someone better suited to your son’s…special needs.”

Lex snorted. “Special needs might be a bit of understatement. He can lift a car over his head and his favorite word right now is No.”

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Thank you for…clarifying the situation, Marjorie. If there’s nothing else, you can leave.”

His secretary didn’t move. She looked at him like she was waiting for something and now that he was paying attention, he saw she was holding a file.  “Did you have a suggestion?”

Looking pleased with herself she responded, “Actually, yes, I did.”

“Well?”

She set the file on his desk and flipped it open. He looked down at the first page and raised an eyebrow, “What am I looking at here?”

“This,” she responded pulling out the top set of papers and spreading them out, “is the employee file and background check for Daniel J. Fenton, an intern that started in our engineering department about 4 months ago. He has one sibling, two parents and several close friends he regularly meets with. His current supervisor has nothing but good things to say about him and reports he gets along well with all his coworkers.”

She set out the next set of papers, neatly arranging them on the desk to be easily seen. “These are newspaper articles and screenshots of social media posts regarding a small town vigilante locally known as Phantom. The same small town, Mr. Fenton is from coincidentally. Also coincidentally, Phantom made his first appearance only a few weeks after Mr. Fenton was involved in a minor accident in his parent’s home laboratory when he was 14, the medical records for the incident are included.”

“Hmm,” Lex said observing several photos of Phantom and a younger Fenton arranged in order of similar poses and facial expressions and printed out side by side.

“Finally,” she said handing him the last set of papers directly, “this would be a report from the lab Mr. Fenton works in from an incident that happened yesterday. A test with a new protype went wrong and started a fire. Everyone evacuated per protocol when the alarms went off but one of the other interns was working on a programming issue off to the side of the lab while wearing headphones and didn’t hear the alarm or notice the fire. Mr. Fenton noticed his absence and returned to the lab to get him out.” She stopped talking and let him look at the last several pages in the file, a series of photographs of the lab.

“Is this ice?”

“Yes, it is. It’s several inches thick and covers half of the lab. It completely put out the fire leaving minimal damage.”

“This machine was moved?”

“It was. It was very close to the flames and would have required replacement if exposed to extreme heat or cold. That particular piece of equipment also weighs several thousand pounds and was bolted to the floor.”

Lex read through everything in detail then clasped his hands under his chin and stared at the photo of Daniel Fenton for several moments before turning back to his waiting secretary.

“Have HR send Mr. Fenton up. I’d like to offer him a promotion.”

[fantastic-nonsense]

"Damian should be a veterinarian when he grows up" this and "Damian should be a doctor" that….I think he should take advantage of his wealth and be an art major

[dragonpyre]

Reverse Robin au but the ages aren't changed. Just adoption order.

[fernsnailz]

do you think shadow was aware of his super strength when he stopped marinating in his tube ? since he can just flip buses i think it'd be funny if there had to be a learning curb

also the image of small crechure shadow being able to lift maria over his head is funny to me.

maybe gerald trips on some osha violation and when shadow goes to help him up he accidentally launches him into the ark's ceiling

i'm absolutely obsessed with this concept of overpowered tiny dude shadow pre-inhibitor rings. chaos and destruction everywhere

[hellspawnmotel]

noelle getting a new outfit was the most exciting part of the newsletter for me

[toughbunnyforever]

bkdk ponyo au bc it's summer

[bluerosefox]

Batman sighs deeply and rubs a temple.

It was meant to be a simple space mission, nothing to big. Just a quick check and report back.

Only problem is the ones he would normally assign this to are all dealing with other things so he had to ask... Someone else...

Like...

The ones that were once Young Justice.

Look, they were the only only ones with a spaceship (How? He still had no idea, Tim keeps saying 'What happens in YJ, stays in YJ') that could go far out without problems, and even though he knew putting the old YJ team together might be a bad idea, he trusted them especially Red Robin to be just a bit more professional at least. Since they were no longer teens but young adults now.

And again it was meant to just be a quick mission.

Nothing big.

So...

So why was Young Justice currently wrangling two floating black haired toddlers, one with blue eyes while the other one had red, and a black haired baby.

Turns out they found these children floating in space on their way back from their mission, cryo sleeping in a ice block huddled and cuddled together around a well loved teddybear with a teal headband on its head.

Or they were sleeping in cryo sleep until Superboy brought the ice block in and the thing melted allowing the children to wake up.

Batman could feel a headache coming on when he noticed just how... attached Young Justice was becoming to the children as well and knew it would be a miracle if he could get them to separate from the children.

[that-one-weird-cloud0]

De-aged Danny wandering the street of Gotham as a five year old:

Batfam: hello child are you alright?

Danny: Yup! :D

Batfam: where are your parents buddy?

Danny: don’t need em. Tried to kill me

Batfam: *concerned* how about you come with us for a little while?

Danny: no thank you mister Batman, I don’t trust adults

Batfam: oh no

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 109

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck-” Tim chanted to himself, looking down at his cup of tea in betrayal. Was he hallucinating, had he been drugged with something? He had slept last night! 

Yet there in their own Lazarus Pit, the one in the cave not the giant one somewhere under the rest of Gotham, was a literal baby, looking just as surprised as he was. Of course that didn’t last, and its face scrunched up as it started to cry, which was his first hint that no, this was not in fact a hallucination. 

 There was a pit baby in the Lazarus pool. 

. . .

 There was a pit baby in the Lazarus pool. 

OH FUCK, there was a pit baby in the freaking Lazarus pool- 

[hypewinter]

Danny is currently in possession of a baby Damian. He is unaware that he is in possession of Damian Wayne let alone how he came to be in the possession of Damian Wayne. All he knows is that the bats are after him and won't leave him alone.

[marskiiii]

what a freaking dork

[stromer]

go to the box, please. GO to the box, please! NOW!

[milkywayes]

GARRUS VAKARIAN: DATABASE IMAGE ACCESS. > PT. 1 : 2160, 2166, 2170. > all files backdated according to user preferences: (terran_coordinated.calendar).

[starry-bi-sky]

danyal al ghul memes because i don't think i've done those yet for this au.

(the jason one is in reference to the fanon headcanon/au that Jason and Damian potentially knew each other and interacted while jason was in the league. I've thought about it before in context of this au, but haven't thought about it enough to feel inspired or motivated to make a post exploring the idea)

(diablito means, as you can guess, 'little devil'. while i'm neutral to latino jason, i think the nickname is cute as fuck and was danny's main nickname from Jason. i don't wanna touch that timeline so im not gonna decide how old they were when Jason was there.)

Skulker: i am the ghost zone's greatest hunter! i capture and hunt creatures both rare and dangerous. Danyal: a poacher?? you're a poacher?? you poach animals??Skulker:...i sense i've made a mistake of some kind.

anyways that was the day that Skulker cemented himself as Danny's no.1 opp, and still remains there to this day even if he and Vlad are both viciously fighting for second. Out of everyone in the the AP rogues gallery, Skulker will be the first to be thrown under the bus in terms of 'o shit here comes phantom fucking RUN'.