#hes quite literally the worst person to ask this question

[tshxkitty]

jimmy x fem!reader

1,3k words

tw: small mentions of abuse and sex, death and suicide at the end!!

this is just something small that i was thinking about for sometime, idk i love jimmy.

lowercase intended, it’s just the way i like to write

english is not my first language!! anyway, enjoy!!

he knew well enough that he was insufferable. he knew that he was a total dick and pain in the ass for almost everyone. he was mean, really fucking mean sometimes. he always wanted everything to go just the way he wanted. he was a narcissist, god, he knew about that well enough - sometimes it even bothered him, but it’s not like he would talk with anyone about that. he knew that he needed therapy, but he would never go, “not my style” he would always say while talking with Curly.

he never was a relationship type of guy. he preferred some quick flings, not giving a fuck about any consequences or anything. and then he met you, and suddenly everything seemed to be less insufferable. you met on tinder. he wasn’t really proud of this, but who the fuck cares? he didn’t expect to have so much fun while just simply walking around the pier. he hated beaches and everything like that. but with you it was a bit more enjoyable that he could ever admit. honestly, he was sure that you were bored by him, so he was quite surprised when you placed a small kiss on his lips when he walked you back to your apartment. he never asked you to be his girlfriend or anything like that, it would be stupid, you both were too old for that, it’s not high school. he just called you his girlfriend when you met Curly for the first time. and that was it, simple, but effective.

he didn’t fully understand why you liked to hang out in his apartment. god, he hated this place. but he stayed there, it was quite cheap. that old couch made him shiver when he walked into that apartment for the first time. not even mentioning the bathroom. the thing was - jimmy was actually a clean freak. when he first time stepped into the apartment, he cleaned literally everything - even though the landlord assured him that everything was cleaned after the last locator. he always preferred to spend time at your place.

the way you said that it doesn’t really matter to you that he was homeless for sometime, you were just glad that he was better now. he remembered how actually scared he was to tell you that, after all it wasn’t something he was proud of. still, it wasn’t his fault that his parents kicked him out when he just turned 18. fuck, he hated his parents. his father, for being the worst person he ever knew, beating up his mother and him all the time. it was his worst fear to become just like him one day (spoiler: he did). so when jim was strong enough to fight back, his father just kicked him out. his mother wasn’t the best mom in the world, obviously. why didn’t she even protest against his father when he was kicking him out? yeah, he would probably beat her up again, but nothing new, right? she didn’t gave a fuck about jimmy, that’s for sure. what an awful mother.

why were you even in relationship with him? he asked himself that question millions of times. you were so perfect, so sweet and so innocent. he saw the way you and Curly looked together while sitting on his couch with beer in your hand - so put together, so normal. but you chose him, and he was sure that you two looked stupid together. he wanted to punch Curly in the guts for smiling at you all the time. well, you told him every time that you two suit each other perfectly, but his disgusting jealousy was always stronger than that. but he still loved to hear you say that.

you were so perfect in his eyes. the way your hair shined in the morning sun through the blinds. the way you danced around when you played him your stupid music that he always said that he hated. the perfect color of your eyes - he never really paid attention to shit like that, but your eyes? god, he loved the way you looked at him. the way you smelled, vanilla and flowers or whatever - he just really liked it, and couldn’t stop to sniff your hair ever time he hugged you. sex with you was something else. he never really cared about his partners, only his pleasure was important to him, but with you? oh, god, sometimes he didn’t even care about how he felt - he just wanted, no needed to make you feel good. he always hated when a woman was on top, he should be the one to dominate all the time, but with you? he couldn’t care less. still, he preferred to be on top, but how could he say no to you when your tits bounced right in front of his face? that was one of his favorite sights in the world. jimmy also wasn’t a fan of gifts, he always felt like that was unnecessary. but your small gifts? jesus, he loved everything you gave him. that small polypody or that warm blanket with small stars all over it? he loved everything. even when you just bought him his favorite snacks, those little pretzels that you always choose for a movie night. he never really cared about perfume, and always used the same one he got from Curly when they were fourteen, and he always just repurchased it. so, when you bought him something that you thought was fitting for him, he quickly stopped using the old one. your choice was different, you called it “woody and citrusy” so he just went with it. and god he loved that. he also loved the way you always sat down with him on the balcony when he smoked. the way you held your cup of coffee in your hands or when you just asked him to give you just one puff. or the way you always said “this year for my birthday i would like some peace” every time he asked what you wanted for your birthday. something in that answer always made him feel calm. he always bought you something special, though. not pricey, he didn’t have much money, but always made sure it would be something you liked. he always made mental notes of everything you said you liked, so he always knew what to give you.

the thing was, he loved you. love you so much that he couldn’t even admit that. you were his everything, you made his life so much better, you made him so much better.

and then you were killed. you were getting back from your night shift and some dude jumped you over, stole your wallet and killed you. when he found out he didn’t left his apartment for few weeks. he was so fucking depressed. talking with your parents was so dreadful. he liked them, he really did, but he just couldn’t handle looking at them. in someway he felt like it was his fault for not picking you up from your job. it was probably the first and the last moment in his life when he felt guilty. he struggled so much when you left. he felt like shit. his life changed so drastically, he stopped caring about almost everything. he lost his job, started doing drugs again. he was so fucking lost.

then Curly offered him a job at Pony Express, quick and simple money, he said. it helped him a bit, just for a moment. but then something just snapped in him, every bad feeling that he ever felt was just out like that. he didn’t even knew how to control himself anymore. it didn’t even feel like him anymore.

and here he was standing in front of Curly in cryptopod with a gun under his chin. he knew that he fucked up so much in his life. but that was it, over, simple like that. he didn’t believe in heaven or any shit like that, but if there was anything like afterlife, he knew that you would probably kick his ass if you met again. and gladly, he would let you.

[anbaisai]

local octopus shot on sight

Bonus of said prefect:

[cluescorner]

Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:

Steph (25):

Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)

Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)

Her worst trait really is her spitefulness

Cass (26)

Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.) 

Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness. 

Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)

Tim (24)

Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)

Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)

His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)

Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)

Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this). 

Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)

His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)

Dick (17) 

Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)

Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)

His worst trait actually is his anger issues.

Barbara (18)

Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)  

Thinks her worst trait is her disability 

Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)

Damian (16)

Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)

Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism 

His worst trait actually is his perfectionism

Duke (16)

Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)

Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)

His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words

Jason (14)

Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne). 

Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)

His worst trait actually is his reactiveness

[astro-royale]

Astrology Observations;23

—- SYNASTRY & MEN - real life observations & manifestations of synastry combinations as well as placements in a man’s chart — my opinion

★Having the same Venus sign as someone can mean having the same love language as someone. This is quite true. You have the same ways you want to receive love & give love for the most part…

★Mars falling into someone’s 12th house.. Mars person can naturally say and do things which the 12th house person finds extremely triggering. The Mars person’s demonic side can manifest in a way which harvests the 12th house person’s energy. Especially is the Mars person has a lot of unresolved issues. Do not forget Mars is the ruler of Aries (the warrior) & the old ruler of Scorpio (the energy vampire in their shadow side). So yeah Mars in the 12th can quite literally mean energy vampire siphoning your life force energy. 12th house person may also resist the Mars persons energy/feel repelled by it or see the person as someone they have to be on guard around.

★ Someone’s Sun in your 12th house.. The Sun will be illuminating your darkness and unresolved issues. The truth will be uncovered no matter how much you try to hide it. That person’s energy will feel like a ray of positive energy coming into your life, that you feel like you want to uncover your own energy to.

★Someone’s Venus in your 1st house.. the first house person especially if they are masculine will see the Venus person as the ideal spouse/wife physically speakig.. maybe the Venus person even adds to the 1st houses persons image.

★ Venus square Saturn. In the Saturn’s persons eyes.. there will always be room for improvement on the Venus house person. You will feel like you are being picked at or micromanaged. The Saturn person feels the need to lecture you or correct you.. in the worst case scenario you will never be good enough

★ Venus Square Mars.. push and pull dynamic which creates sexual tension. The Mars person will chase the Venus person..

★ Men with Venus in Leo will want princess treatment and are super entitled in their shadow side. I’ve seen this placement in sugar babies or people who date for material gain. In men, they usually want to be the prize and want to be just as spoiled and pampered as the woman. He needs other placements that humble him to tone the energy of this down. They all have their own sense of style and tend to dress well too. They will ask to go 50/50.. again look at the whole chart but I’ve seen this so often.

★ Your rising sign is his Lilith.. he will always try to tame you and in extreme cases control you and your energy but somehow he never manages to..he will find you irresistible and magnetic..but also triggering. You could be the embodiment of what he secretly desires..forbidden desire

★Mars in someone’s 4th house.. a lot of conflicts can take place when the two of you are at home or behind closed doors.

★Moon in Scorpio is such a red flag if the person is showing signs of being toxic/unhealed. That person is harbouring so many secrets and information. Be careful with this one. You won’t know what you find out. It’s hard to know what they are thinking.

★It’s true.. men with scorpio placements are very controlling and obsessive in their shadow side. They may enjoy co-dependent relationships.

★Men with cancer & Earth placements are natural providers and tend to enjoy traditional dynamics.

★ If he has Mars in Sagittarius and he is young… he will probably want to be single and experiment before settling down. These men don’t tend to have a type and like exploring what is different or foreign to them.They look at s3x as a learning experience, sport, or way to let out some steam.

★Libra Sun men will jump from relationship to relationship easily.. they’re rarely single

★Men with Mars in Scorpio are the ones you feel your soul merging with

★Unevolved Virgo men can manifest as the ones who are always unemployed and on their computer 24/7. Ask him all the right questions and don’t just be impressed by his knowledge cuz that’s how he will seem like he’s something even though he’s not.

✨Book a tarot reading with me here ✨⤵️🔮

[melit0n]

Something that always confused me when I read TPOTO was why The Phantom chose box five out of all the private boxes to be his.

Out of all the seats in the house, box five is among the worst and would be (and still is) sold cheaply (average 65 francs at cheapest in 1880, now sold a between 10-25 euros nowadays) on general sale. A higher profit would've been made from a year-long booking, especially since there are multiple seats, so it would be 65 francs per person on a yearly booking no matter how many people are in there at once, but still not as much as other seats.

Visual wise, a good chunk of the left side of the stage is cut off and parts of the performance that would occur in the higher wings would be completely unseen, so, why choose it? Isn't the main point of going to go watch an Opera is to actually see the performance?

(A screenshot from the Palais Garnier's seat listing stating the best seats for viewing and the view from the box five via this video)

Having been there myself in late May, I found an answer to my own question and I'm gonna share it with you guys because maybe someone else was asking the same thing!

Although yes, the stage is half cut off, it's one of, if not the, best seats acoustic wise. You're a perfect distance from the orchestra as well as the stage for everything to sound just right. As much as The Phantom would've loved the operatic performance, I don't doubt he would've been more focused on the music itself as well as the vocals, and, mainly, Christine.

Further, although going to the opera was more of a social thing than an entertainment thing, so the boxes were built for aristocracy to be seen above all things, you can disappear from public view quite easily in that box. There are two to three rows of seats going backwards to the door, so all one would have to do to disappear from sight of anyone on stage or in the audience would be to just move a seat backwards (which means he wouldn't have been able to see the stage at all, but would still be able to hear everything perfectly well).

Plus, the box is located right at the end of the row of private boxes, as well as very close to entry and exit stairs, both public ones and private ones meant for stage hands and general workers.

All in all, those three reasons are why the box was chosen and kept in high priority for The Phantom, because he could quite literally disappear, like a ghost, by just moving himself in the box, as well as disappear out of the box and hear Christine almost perfectly.

[amomentsescape]

Slashers x secret admirer!reader.

How would they react to all the small gifts left for them? Would they track the person down? Would they confront them? Would they stalk them? How would the slashers react if the gifts stopped for a period of time?

Slashers with a Secret Admirer

Slashers x Secret Admirer! Reader (Separate)

Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, & Bo

Freddy Krueger

Oh, he knows

There isn't a way for you to be discreet when he can literally enter your mind every night

That's how the admiration started for you in the first place

Seeing him there, taunting you in such a creepy and yet powerful way

Something drew you in

And the feeling is mutual

I mean, why else hadn't he killed you yet?

He keeps his eye on you whenever he can, sometimes ensuring your dreams are happy and not all nightmares

Some are still terrifying though

He knows you like the thrill

You've tried to surprise him with gifts and letters a couple times, but he knows about them before he even receives them

You really can't keep anything from this guy

And don't even think about taking anything back

You started this whole "game" between you two

There's no way out now

Michael Myers

He immediately assumes the worst

The moment he sees the gifts and letters left for him, he quickly believes that someone is out to get him

You're trying to play mind games with him, but it won't work

Nobody will ever best Michael

He watches you for a while, plotting his moves carefully and thinking of the best way to get back at you for your taunting

There really wasn't anything about your gifts that seemed threatening to him

In fact, he quite liked a couple of the things you gifted him

Well, as much as Michael could like something other than killing

And this is partly what angered him so much

How on earth could you know him well enough to gift him such items?

He was going to get answers one way or another

And it was going to be soon

Jason Voorhees

He's honestly just baffled

How did you even find him in the middle of nowhere?

And even worse: what were you plotting?

No one has ever shown him kindness before besides his mother

This type of attention is so foreign to him that he just assumes you have the wrong person

This was all just some weird accident

But he's happy to play pretend for a while

And if the gifts suddenly stop, he can't help but feel disappointed

You must have finally figured out that he wasn't the one you were trying to impress

He won't be the type to try and figure out who you were

It all just seemed too sweet to be real, and he just wanted to play into the fantasy for a while

It was nice while it lasted

Thomas Hewitt

He quickly guesses that this is just some poor joke being played by someone in the family

No one comes out here

If they do, they're dead

And if a person was really wanting to surprise someone, there was no way he would be that someone

But after days of keeping his eye out, none of his family seemed to be acting suspicious

So this is just odd

He goes on and lets the gifts keep coming

It honestly gives him something to look forward to each week

But after a while, he becomes too curious on who you are

So he does what he does best: he sets a trap

Nothing to hurt you, but he just has to know who this secret admirer is

He doesn't want to go another day without feeling this level of kindness ever again

Bubba Sawyer

A gift? For him?

This has to be Christmas, right?

He prances around the house every single time, flaunting whatever new item you sent his way

He truly believes that you must be his guardian angel looking out for him

That's the only explanation

But as many know, Bubba isn't very patient

If he's craving something sweet, he immediately takes the candy, no questions asked

So don't expect to be a secret for very long

He's going to do whatever it takes to "catch" you

That way, the gifts and fun will never end!

You sort of dug yourself into a whole with this

But don't worry

He'll treat you just as sweetly

Brahms Heelshire

He doesn't react as badly as one might think right away

He just assumes the gifts are from his parents

But after receiving his first letter, he realizes this is more romantic in nature

And this is quite a dangerous game you're playing

Since he immediately becomes obsessed

He'll kindly play this game with you

He'll leave the doll near the main window, coaxing you to come take a deeper look

He'll start to leave the door unlocked or a window cracked open in hopes you'll be tempted to take a trip inside

But unfortunately, Brahms is as shallow as he is dangerous

If you are a beauty, he will gladly whisk you away into his home

But if you aren't what he pictured you to be, he will dispose of you

You've created this idealistic image in his mind, and he needs it to be perfect

Norman Bates

He probably reacts the most "normal" out of anyone else

He's surprised of course, but he happily takes the gifts and finds a little drawer at home to keep them

He likes to pull them out whenever he is feeling down

With how shy he is, he won't be the one to step up and try to confront you or figure out who you are

He kind of likes the mystery

Although, he does hope one of these times you will finally reveal who you are to him

If the gifts suddenly stop, Norman will become a lot more upset than he could have predicted

It can be so lonely where he is, and he finally thought maybe he was making an actual connection with someone

He may make a trip to the nearest town in order to people-watch for a while

He secretly hopes there will be some sign that will make you known to him, but that's clearly wishful thinking

Billy Loomis

He's flattered, don't get him wrong, but you are certainly not the first nor the last to admire him from afar

He's gotten several secret admirers in his day

I mean, look at him

He'll gladly take your gifts or letters with pride, but they'll likely get thrown in with all the other trinkets he's gathered over the years

If the gifts suddenly stop however, he'll act like it doesn't phase him at all

But he becomes curious on why you stopped

And this curiosity soon becomes obsession

Every killing he goes on, he'll raid the house, trying to find any sign on who his secret admirer is

Why would you stop? What's wrong with him?

The questions are enough to drive him insane

Stu Macher

Almost anyone can tell something has changed with Stu

He holds his head a little higher, smiles a little wider, and talks a little louder

He walks around school with his eyes peered, hoping that eye contact will be enough to figure out who his secret admirer is

But when he's not at school, he's making a list on any person he thinks it could be

He makes sure to convince Billy to hit those people's houses first during their "nights out"

He may even go as far as interrogating all of his victims, eventually killing them when he realizes they know nothing about his secret admirer

But he shakes this off quickly

He has full faith that he'll learn who you are

There's only so many houses in Woodsboro after all

Vincent Sinclair

He's honestly completely in awe at this situation

It had always been Bo who had the secret admirers

People have been fawning over his brother since they were younger, but now he's the one being sought after?

This can't be real

He does his best to keep all of this from his brothers

He's worried that them finding out will ruin the whole thing somehow

And he truly loves how it feels to be wanted

If the gifts stop at any point, he'll be devastated

He won't go as far as to seek you out

But he will certainly mourn you and your attention

He knew it was too good to be true

Bo Sinclair

Similar to Billy, this isn't his first rodeo

But unlike him, he's not as kind about the situation

Your gifts are disposed of as quickly as they are received

It's not that he isn't appreciative, it's just that he seeks confidence and hates games

If you're interested in him, then why not just step up and make a move in person?

If you're not willing to do that, then it's mostly a waste of his time

If the gifts keep coming, he'll eventually hit a point where he becomes annoyed

He'll break the gifts and trash them right outside the door, leaving them there in hopes you'll take the hint

And if you do, then he's satisfied

He doesn't need the attention because he knows he can get whoever he wishes

He doesn't have time for silly teenage games

[hannie-dul-set]

the ethics of belief — [p.sh].

SYNOPSIS. you’ve been noticing some signs that park sunghoon seems to have a problem with you, and you’re resolute to getting a straight confirmation or denial from him rather than taking the signs as they are and believing in the worst. it’s less troublesome that way. you’d much rather believe what he’d say than spend the remaining two and half-years mulling over something that doesn’t even matter. 

meanwhile, park sunghoon also harbors his own unvoiced beliefs about you and your person. the issue arises when that belief starts to fester under the seams of certainty and doubt— a firm credence denied from the opportunity of validation. 

and that’s when the belief of oneself usually starts to fall apart.

PAIRING. park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. college! au, classmates! au, strangers to one-sided enemies/academic rivals to friends to lovers to exes to [redacted], romance, angst, hurt/comfort, humor, drama, inspired by my nth reread of the manhwa “cheese in the trap.”  WARNINGS. swearing, an initial unhealthy dynamic that gets better with time, misogyny, daddy issues LMAO, dishonesty, ulterior motives HUAHA, self-sabotage, talks of insecurities, so much academic dumps and word vomits, the mc’s are political science students that enough deserves a warning, more tba. WORD COUNT. est. 15-20k. preview 2.5k.

TAGLIST. i will be completely transparent and say that i may or may not even get to finish this HAHAHAH nevertheless, if you’re interested, just shoot an ask/dm/reply!

NOTE. i am.....up to something yet again HHAHAHHAHA. was really inspired to write something like this after rereading cheese in the trap!!! it took me while to decide which kpop boy i should subject to my whims this time, and idk why i even bothered mulling it over when hoon was literally the perfect fit for this perfectionist, passionate, paranoid male lead 😔😔. quite different tone than the fics i usually write (quarter life crisis time). anyhow, i hope this piques your interest! enjoy!

preview under the cut.

“YOU’RE SITTING ON THE COUCH, WHEN YOU HEAR A KNOCK. The police have arrived to arrest your spouse— for murder. This accusation comes as a total shock, but their fingerprints were found on the murder weapon. Your spouse insists they’re innocent. Should you believe your spouse, even though the evidence against them looks damning? This, class, is a classic example of an ethical dilemma.”

There is a guy from your major that you’ve recently come to notice.

“Discussed by Alex Worsnip, this question covers the ethics of belief through various lenses, including evidentialism and pragmatism—”

Well. It’s not as if you’ve never noticed him before.

“It was W.K. Clifford who coined the term the ethics of belief in his 1876 book under the same name. He forwarded the evidentialist view of belief in determining the correct, or moral, way of viewing a situation or problem— that is, by believing things based on the evidence at hand. However, this is not the only perspective we can use to anchor our respective belief systems.”

It’s just that for the past two months you’ve known him, you’ve noticed that his behavior around you has been quite…odd, in comparison to the rest of your peers.

“Now, let us go back to the problem I’ve presented earlier. Hmm. Let’s see the attendance list—”

He was the first person you were introduced to during the pre-academic-year-get-together when you came back after spending the previous semester in a government sponsored exchange program to the U.S. In fact, it was very hard not to notice him, considering that the moment you arrived at the event— late, because you had to spend the entire day unpacking your studio the hours prior— he was a new face surrounded by a notable amount of people from your year.

And your first impression of him was simple.

“—is Park Sunghoon present?

(“This is Sunghoon! Park Sunghoon! C’mon, say hi!”

A tall, good-looking, well-off, popular guy who apparently also has a great personality. Sim Jaehyun’s introduction of Park Sunghoon seems to have maxed out on adjectives. He apparently also transferred to this program— Bachelor of Arts in Political Science— at the same time you left for your exchange program. He, after one once-over amidst the crowded scene, is someone you’ve concluded that you’re better off simply retaining as an acquaintance and a classmate because of the very adjectives Jaeyun described him with.

Popular, after only a semester of being here. Carries with him a crowd of people. That’s far too troublesome for you to voluntarily deal with.

So, for your own benefit, the smart decision is simply to never go further beyond being on polite terms with Park Sunghoon.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Ah. Yes, hi.”

“Now, don’t be awkward! Everyone already knows each other except for the both of you. You two should put in the effort to get closer.”

There’s a slight lag to Park Sunghoon’s smile. You smile back, scanning the rented venue for Kim Yeondu— closest friend since first semester and is trying to recruit you into the Strava cult— else you’d be a few minutes, few tequila shots too late from saving her from embarrassing herself on the first unofficial day of the semester. Nam Deokhwan seems to have already gotten the ball rolling and passing around drinks. Choi Nari is yelling at you three to come join for a group photo.

An exhale from you, you tighten your smile and flicker your gaze back to your new acquaintance, who looks like he’s also ready to get this awkward introduction over with. Jaeyun is the only soul in this three-person liminal space that’s even somewhat enthusiastic. 

At last, Park Sunghoon extends out a hand for a shake. “Let’s get along,” he says.

“Sure,” you politely reply.)

“Present, sir.”

Your eyes trail off from your notes, all the way to the other side of the lecture hall, several seats away from you to look at the only individual standing amidst the sea of seated students. “Your spouse has been accused of murder with damning evidence.” Prof Yoon flickers the slide back to the previous one, the question printed on the projector screen. “Should you believe them or not?”

There’s a polite smile on his face— an easygoing yet comfortable air. His posture is as straight as it can get. His profile is something artists would want to transfer onto canvas. “I would believe the evidence presented against my spouse’s testimony, Professor Yoon.”

You click the end of your pen, pointing the inked tip towards the paper with a hum.

“Care to expound?”

Sitting next to you in the hall is Yeondu, who has her eyes locked straight onto Park Sunghoon as he begins his answer. “The phrasing of ‘should you believe’ them rather than would implies a moral obligation of belief. In this scenario, what I’d want to believe does not matter. Even if my spouse had been, for example, loving and kind throughout the course of our relationship, the existence of police-discovered evidence that they had committed the crime of murder would overpower any emotionally-driven feelings of belief that I’d have.” You hear her sigh a little. Dreamily even, with her elbows propped up on the table and palms cupping her cheeks. “Evidence points us towards the direction of the truth, therefore there is no question but to believe in it.”

“Jesus, I have not registered a single word he said, but fuck, he sure sounds hot as hell when he talks smart.”

You laugh a little. You’re not one to deny that Park Sunghoon is indeed smart, handsome, and has the voice of an angel. But none of those are the sources of his difference in his behavior towards you. At least, you don’t think it is.

“Very good, Sunghoon. Your take is a clear evidentialist perspective towards the dilemma.”

A prompt from your professor, Park Sunghoon nods and returns to his seat, eliciting some murmurs from everyone else around. You set down your pen. You straighten your back.

“I’d like to hear if anyone has a different answer.”

You raise a hand.

“Yes?”

All eyes are on you—

“Thank you, sir. While the evidentialist point of view might seem the most rational, I’d like to argue otherwise.” 

—including Park Sunghoon’s

“I do not disagree with the moral burden of who I should believe. And in this case, I should believe my spouse. Not because of love or the fact that we are in a relationship. Regardless of the individual, the principle that everyone is presumed to be innocent until proven guilty beyond rest still stands.” You begin. You direct your attention towards Professor Yoon as you continue speaking. However, your peripheral notices something interesting. “Given that the situation is provided that the evidence is simply presented in testimony by a police officer outside the court, it is still yet to be verified and judged by the court of law. The same goes with my spouse. Therefore, until the law declares them guilty or otherwise for the crime of murder, I would choose to believe my spouse over anything.”

Park Sunghoon had been preparing to raise his hand. And he does. “May I ask her a question?” he asks. Professor Yoon nods at him to go ahead, and— when Park Sunghoon turns his head to direct his attention towards you— it fails to slip under your notice.

That annoyed look in his eyes. Bothered. Discomforted.

“Do you argue that we have the ability to choose what we believe?”

That’s the very reason why you can’t help but notice him more than you’d like.

“We have no control over the beliefs we carry. If we have that ability, then the concept of doubt would not exist, and this dilemma would not exist, either.”

Another round of murmurs arise. You nod and smile. “That’s a good point. However, I still stand with my argument.” What is up with that look of irritation? What is his problem? “We may not be able to control our beliefs at will, but our belief systems are shaped by our principles, morals, and experiences, are they not? My principles of justice alongside the experiences of a healthy and loving relationship would lead me towards believing him above anything else. This is not an argument based on emotion. Upon marriage, a moral obligation towards your spouse is conceived.”

You see him flinch. His brows furrow, a counter-argument already brewing in his mind.

“Should the time come that your spouse is indeed proven innocent, and your belief stood against them, then I’d say that you have failed your moral obligation.”

Unfortunately, the opportunity to fire it is stripped away the moment he opens his mouth. “That is a very good argument. I believe Mr Park Sunghoon has more to say, but unfortunately, we don’t have enough time to discuss things further. You two may take your seats.”

It seems like both you and Park Sunghoon get the similar idea to give each other one last glance before sitting back down. You, offering a smile and a nod of acknowledgement after sharing a fruitful discussion. Him, masking that previous expression of annoyance by mirroring yours, followed by an immediate turn around— head snapping back in front as if he couldn’t bear to look at you any longer.

Seriously. What’s up with him?

Yeondu scratches something onto your abandoned sheet of paper the moment you release a breath and sink back into your seat. Whoa, that was an intense exchange, she wrote. Pay attention, you scribble back with a soft hum. Though, you’re not exactly one to talk because although you’re looking at Professor Yoon and trying your best to listen to her talk, the recently concluded exchange with the man in front has gotten your mind wandering.

“As much as I’d like to hear discussions of other common ethical dilemmas such as the trolley problem, it seems like we only have around five minutes left for today’s class. However, this isn’t our only opportunity for discourse.”

All evidence points towards the idea that Park Sunghoon has a problem with you.

“Next week is the College Field Day, so we won’t be meeting. The week after that, we will be having a debate.”

But you’re not one to jump to conclusions. So until you get a confirmation from Park Sunghoon personally—

“Please see the screen for your groups. I will be posting the guidelines and propositions on our MIS immediately after this class, so please be guided. Once you’ve checked your groups, you may be dismissed. Thank you.”

—you’d much rather hold your suspicions at bay for the time being.

“Ah, fuck me, I’m with Deokhwan! What about you, where’s your— oh! There you are. You’re grouped with Jaeyun and—” It seems like there’s a magnet constantly pulling your vision towards one side of the lecture hall today. Park Sunghoon seems to have read the list at the same time as you did, registered the names listed, and looked over to you at the same time as you did. “Sunghoon! God damn, did Prof Yoon even randomize this? This is crazy. Thank god we’re not fighting against your group.”

At the same time as Professor Yoon takes her leave, the rest of your classmates also slowly trickle out of the lecture hall, while some have opted to remain inside. Park Sunghoon and the rest of the people surrounding him seem to have opted to leave. He already has his bag slung over his shoulder, chatting alongside Jaeyun and Nari and Jongseong and a few others.

You’re still unsure if you’re simply being sensitive, or if he does indeed have an issue with you. Quickly, you gather your things as well. Yeondu shoves her ethics book into her tote bag and locks arms with you. “Anyway, where should we eat? Jiyeon said there’s pork cutlet on the menu today.”

Uncertainties are troublesome. It gets your brain churning more often than you’d like, expending energy more inefficiently than you’d like.

“Do you mind waiting for a second?”

And you’re not very fond of troublesome things.

“I’ll go meet with my group mates first.”

So wouldn’t it make the most sense to just ask him directly?

Yeondu tells you to take it easy, but lets you off with a wave. You march up to the group moving towards the middle aisle dividing two sides of the lecture hall seating. They walk down the pitched flooring, on the way to the bottom of the hall. You cut off that opening. Park Sunghoon’s steps stutter mid-speech at your sudden appearance. Jaeyun releases a surprised whoa. “Park Sunghoon,” you greet. He blinks his widened eyes in response. “Jaeyun, too. Sorry for the interruption. Are you guys heading out for lunch? I was hoping to schedule a meeting time for us first so we could start researching for the debate.”

The initial surprise subsides in the air. Jaeyun breaks the awkward silence with a laugh. “Whoa. You’re way too diligent, dude! Prof Yoon hasn’t even posted the propositions yet.” He nudges his friend for some backup. However, Sunghoon— seeming to only have shaken off his stupor a few moments ago— agrees with you, instead.

“She’s right, Jake,” he says, nudging back his friend, and Park Sunghoon’s eyes trail away from his friend to you, a practiced, polite smile covering his face. “How about we meet later after class at the campus cafe? That way, we’d have more time to sit down for a discussion.”

“Hey, you guys can talk this out later! I’m starving!”

You notice Sunghoon’s smile stiffening for a second. Only for a brief second and you look over to the scene behind his shoulder— a group of evidently impatient and irritated friends, mostly emanating from Nari, who’s leering right at you. You ignore them. You respond to Sunghoon with an expression mirroring his own. “Sure, that’s fine with me,” you say. “My classes end at four.”

“We both finish by four-thirty!” Jayun shutters in, throwing an arm around Sunghoon’s neck, grinning widely with the conversation finally coming to an end. His gaze is already glued to the door. “Alright, we’ll see you later. C’mon, guys. Lunch, lunch, lunch!”

Jaeyun passes you by with a friendly pat on the shoulder. Jongseong nods at you and walks ahead. Among the rest of the group walking past you, you feel one of them bumping into your shoulder, by accident or otherwise, yet even that falls far under your notice in comparison to the first person that passed you by.

It was from the corner of your eye, but you’re sure that Park Sunghoon’s smile disappeared with the roll of his eyes the moment he took the step down and walked past your sight-line.

You caught that. Without a doubt.

“You done? C’mon, let’s go eat!”

Yeondu skips over to you after your mini-meeting, tugging you by the arm out the door, but your mind remains on the two levels of the lecture floor aisle. In spite of the evidence pointing towards Park Sunghoon’s masked distaste towards your person, your personality, your existence— whatever, it’s not the time to ask him about it yet.

Until then, you’ll have to table your judgements and how you intend on dealing with him.

the ethics of belief. © hannie-dul-set, 2025.

[pepperyduck]

some of the jjk men with a plus size/chubby girlfriend :3

warnings: my self indulgent writing, talk about insecurities, a little bit of suggestiveness on gojo & geto’s, not proofread. (18+ mdni!)

notes: i got a new vape today!

part 2 | masterlist

gojo:

gojo never really expected himself to be with someone plus size, in fact, no one did. he’s got the looks and personality of a cocky bastard that could get anyone he wanted. but there was just something when he first laid eyes on you — your pretty face, pretty figure, pretty thighs…he was immediately entranced. he approached you with the most confident smile and posture, flirting terribly and asked for your number.

he couldn’t care less about what his friends said and how meanly the jealous girls who wanted him stared at you; he felt like a king having someone as pretty as you latched onto his arm everywhere he went.

he buys you new clothes all the time, taking you into each and every store you look at — and if they don’t have your size, he makes a point to give passive aggressive comments about how “close minded” companies are. he becomes a retail worker’s worst nightmare if they dare upset you by saying they don’t carry your size. but, don’t get him wrong, he loves it when you buy something and go home to try it on, and it’s just a little bit too tight for your liking. oh, your sweet, sweet satoru is practically losing his goddamn mind seeing how that dress squeezes your tummy so well or how those shorts make your thighs look even softer. he has to control himself, and it’s so hard, he wants to just pounce on you in the very moment you turn around and mumble, “it’s too tight,” with a frown.

if you’re ever feeling insecure, he gives you a not-so-gentle reminder about how he’s literally the strongest man in the world and you’d have to be something special for him to be with you. he’s kind of an arrogant asshole about it, though. but do not fret, he will take his sweet time showing you everything he adores about you in the mirror all the while making you feel pleasure like you’ve never felt with any other parter you’ve had.

nanami:

oh boy, where to start with nanami.

he didn’t really have the chance to think about what he’d prefer in a woman, but when satoru finally convinced him to go out and drink, he popped the question since kento was severely lacking in romantic partners at his grown age. it took a lot of prying, and gojo finally snapped with a, “if you could screw anyone in here, who would it be?” nanami had to take a look around the room for a while, when his finger finally landed on a table consisting of you and your friends. you were out drinking, feeling nervous about the black dress you borrowed from your friend, and kento couldn’t look away when he found you.

“ohhh, the one in the green?” gojo asked, a sly grin on his face.

“no.”

“the one in blue with the long hair?”

“no. her.” kento’s finger got even more focused on you.

he thinks you are quite literally the epitome of “wifey material” (a phrase learned from gojo the night he first saw you) and he makes sure you know that. he just thinks you’re so…breathtaking every time he sees you. the honest man he is, he compliments you pretty much any time he thinks of it. he adores seeing you in those babydoll nightgowns, the pretty ones that are all silky and soft, with the way your hips fill them out and make it ride up every time you move. by the time you move in with him, it’s all you’ll be wearing around the house.

he also takes up cooking with you, learning your favorite meals and teaching you how to prepare the foods he likes the most. it becomes a sweet bonding experience for the both of you. and if you’re feeling self-conscious about your body, he feels as if he’s not doing enough to build you up, and he’ll leave you sweet notes in your lunch, on the mirror, in your car, etc. he’ll make you feel so loved and beautiful with that alone.

geto:

suguru thought you were just a sweet little thing when he met you for the first time. when he came into your job along with a few of the curses he’s obtained, he noticed how your eyes kept flashing to them but you still were so kind when you talked with him. he caught on quickly — and when he knew you could see curses while looking so adorably cute, he knew he just had to have you.

he thinks you look just like the paintings of renaissance women, the glamorous and gorgeous ones often depicted as goddesses or angels. although it’s cliché, he fully believes in the whole “more of you to love” thing. he enjoys how soft you feel in his arms, never failing to give you longing hugs from behind just so he can feel your squishy backside and snake his arms around to touch your tummy. he dreams of making you have a real mom bod.

and lord help anyone who dares to make you feel bad about the way you look. he spends more time berating those who hurt your feelings than actually comforting you. he’ll end up making you feel better from the stupid things he says about those people being “monkeys.”

“stupid fools shouldn’t even be allowed on the same ground as you, filthy monkeys, i should make sure their death is more gruesome than they ever imagined for hurting you.” he’d say, causing you to break your pitiful persona and begin to giggle. he doesn’t really understand why you think it’s so funny, though.

taglist: @kundere20000000 @missakward123 @cherriee-ee

let me know if you want to be added!

[jackalope-patronus]

summary :: after having received an owl from Sebastian asking to meet, you prepare for an adventure but are pleasantly surprised by something else.

note :: requests are open

“I see my owl reached you well.”

“I came as soon as I could, are you alright?” Your jogging slowed as you reached Sebastian. With the lack of details in his note, you assumed had the worst.

Sebastian had sensed this and made a mental note to specify no danger next time, if there was to be a next time. “Yes, everything’s alright. Don’t worry.”

You puffed a relived sigh. “Oh thank Merlin.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stress you.” This was not a good start.

“So, what did you need me for?” You returned.

“Well,” he stood straight. “I thought I’d show you something rather interesting.”

“Right.” Cautiously, you retrieved your wand. Sebastian had only chuckled. He really needed to spend more time with you without imminent danger nearby.

“Lumos.” As Sebastian’s wand tip brightened, four candles drifted into sight.

“A charm?” You questioned, to which Sebastian shrugged playfully.

“We’ll just have to find out, I suppose.” His tone left no absence of trickery and you found yourself cautiously smiling. What was he up to? “Ladies first.” He gestured forward.

Lifting a brow at him, you casted lumos and stepped ahead. The candles began to drift and you gave Sebastian another look before following them.

The two of you walked in silence. You keenly aware of your surroundings and watching for possible danger whilst Sebastian watched your back, literally. He watched your hair bounce and your school coat lift in the wind. He was notorious for being unable to keep his eyes off you.

As you turned the last corner, more candles joined the four you had followed. They had rested over two white garden chairs and a table. The small flames delicately washed the area with light. It was utterly romantic.

“Sebas-?”

He’d already approached the chair and table, pulling out one seat and nodding for you to sit in it. You did and he sat adjacent to you. “Now, I know this isn’t quite a meal, but I managed to snatch these from the kitchen.” From a pocket within his cloak, Sebastian retrieved two muffins, sliding one to you.

“I don’t- thank you. I don’t quite- what is this?” You flustered.

“I thought I’d do something nice. For you.” He shifted. “Since you’ve been such a help to me, and Anne.”

“Oh, Sebastian.”

“And I figured it was about time I took you somewhere with no tombs or caves.”

You weren’t sure exactly how to respond. A simple ‘thank you’ didn’t do justice to the excited burning you felt in your chest. You couldn’t just say ‘thank you’ not after he’d gone to all this trouble! “Thank you.” You squeaked. Looking down at the muffin he’d given you and began to pick off small bits, eating them.

“I suppose this would be a better time than any to catch up. So, what have you been up to?”

“Just keeping up really. Finishing extra assignments and whatnot. I’ve recently been getting friendlier with some beasts, thanks to Poppy.”

“She’s quite the personality, isn’t she?” Sebastian commented.

“Yes, she’s very sweet.” You smiled to yourself, thinking of the brunette. “What of you? Making any friends other Ominus and I?”

“Was that a criticism?” Sebastian smirked.

“Merely a observation.” You shrugged playfully.

“Unfortunately not. I’m afraid the two of you take up too much of my time. If I made another friend, I’m sure they’d be horribly neglected.” You laughed and Sebastian brightened at the sight.

“I suppose if getting this kind of treatment means you having less friends, I’ll just have to keep you all to myself.”

“You could.” Sebastian returned. You choked on a bit of muffin.

“Pardon?”

“You could, have me all to yourself I mean. More often.” He repeated.

“Is that so?”

“It is indeed.” Sebastian leaned further down the table, viewing you with excitement.

“Sebastian, I know you didn’t take me out here merely as a thanks for my efforts.” You leaned forward too. “Care to tell me why we’re really here?”

“If you must know.” Sebastian began, tone giving way to a loving mischievousness. “I suppose I’ve got something of a confession.”

Oh dear. Here it comes. You sat up, preparing yourself. I’ll say yes, you thought.

“Will you- be my partner for the duelling championship tomorrow?” He asked.

“Yes I- what?”

Sebastian could only laugh. You felt your cheeks become hot and a wave of embarrassment hit you. Suddenly, it wasn’t so cold anymore.

You excused yourself from the table and stood. Sebastian followed quickly. “Oh come now, I was only joking.”

“Sebastian.” You sighed.

“I know, I’m sorry.” You could hear his smile. Cautiously, his hand pressed into your lower back, then hooked your hips, bringing you into him. “I’ll make it up to you. How about we do this again?”

Oh how good it felt to be strung along by Sebastian. Just waiting for his fated confession. A sort of cat and mouse. Truthfully you knew of one another’s desire for the other but the chase was just too fun for Sebastian to ever settle down.

“Alright.” You caved.

[fangswbenefits]

The Arrangement (6) - Broken

Chapter summary: A long overdue conversation is finally had and things take a turn....

Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav

Warnings: 18+. Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Mentions of past trauma.

Word count: 5.7k

Series Masterlist . Ao3

If you could have it your way, you'd immediately cast Mage Hand and shove Ava through the deepest pits of the Underdark, all the way down to Grymforge and until she was faced with molten lava rivers coursing below her.

Whether you'd drop her or not would entirely depend on a set of answers you intended on squeezing out of her – quite literally, if possible.

You crossed your arms, watching as the woman dressed in a burgundy red dress made her way inside, holding that nauseating and overly sweet smile of hers.

She came bearing a satchel, which she handed to Astarion as soon as she stood before him.

“Are you well?” she asked, holding his free hand momentarily.

He gave her a dramatic sigh. “Within reason. It's hardly an ideal scenario, but I'll manage.”

She rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand, nodding with supposed concern on her face.

Something about the way she looked at him made you want to gauge your eyes out.

Ugh…

It took an inhuman amount of mental fortitude and no less amount of restraint to keep yourself from scoffing.

Gale gave you an inquisitive side-glance, but remained silent.

“Who's this? Your playmate?”

Ah.

Lae'zel's bluntness could render many speechless and rabid at worst or slightly taken aback at best.

It seemed that Ava fell under an unexpected third category: sheer amusement.

But it was Astarion who spoke for her, “Ever so direct, Lae'zel." He let out a dramatic laugh. "Charming as always."

"I do not care for such frivolities."

His face dropped with an eye-roll. "It was a joke."

"You're the only one laughing."

You had to hold back a chuckle.

Astarion merely glared at her.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “So, who is she? Your hairdresser?”

“This is Lae'zel – a githyanki extraordinaire. Fierce in battle with her sword and off the field with her words, as you can tell.”

Ava extended an arm out to her, earning a scoff from Lae'zel who refused to return the courtesy.

You beamed in joy at her antics.

Astarion moved to your side and Ava immediately spoke up before he could, “Oh, we've already met.”

“Ah, yes. At The Blushing Mermaid?” he said, tapping his chin.

“More than once.”

You scowled. “A single encounter would have been one too many.”

He glared at you, squinting his eyes inquisitively.

“Feisty . I like you already.” she said with a pout.

You considered hexing her right there and then.

Just like with Lae'zel, she extended a hand out to you.

You crossed your arms instead, earning a narrowed glare from Astarion.

Ava's overly sweet smile only widened.

Astarion then waved dismissively at the only person in the room he had yet to introduce.

“Oh - and that is Gale.”

Unlike you and Lae'zel, he moved to take one of Ava's hand in his own before planting a kiss on the back. “Gale of Waterdeep. What a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, madam."

Gale!

The betrayal had you shooting invisible daggers at him through your eyes.

Ava brought a hand to her chest. “What a gentleman.”

Your patience now spent, you moved towards her. “Where did you go after I ran into you at The Blushing Mermaid?”

Ava turned to face you. “A rather intrusive question, dear.”

“Answer it.”

Astarion was scowling already.

“No. I don't think I will.”

You felt the familiar tingles of fire magic spread along the palm of your hand.

“Where were you when we got arrested, then?”

Gale seemed utterly confused and Lae'zel's face twisted in amusement.

Ava's smile didn't waver once. “She's adorable, Astarion.”

“You little-”

Astarion was already on you before you could lunge forward, rooting you in place.

“Would you excuse us for a moment?” he swiftly interjected, effectively silencing you.

Before you could voice out a protest, you felt him tug at your hand until you were pacing in front of him before bringing both hands to grip your shoulders and prevent you from deterring off the intended path.

“Hey!” you huffed in annoyance.

“Do make yourself at home, darling,” you heard his sweet voice behind you.

“I shall.” Ava chirped. 

Your temper exploded from their exchange.

“Actually - don't!” You shouted over your shoulder only to earn a warning squeeze from him.

Astarion pushed you rapidly along the corridor until you were being guided into your own room, door slamming closed behind you.

You immediately jerked away from his grip, turning back around with an indignant growl.

“What in the Nine Hells has gotten into you?” he asked through gritted teeth.

Oh, you were so ready to blow up.

“Me? What is she doing here?”

He quirked an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms. “Is this another one of your jealousy tantrums?”

You gasped at his nerve, outrage nearly blinding you for a split second.

“What – no! I am not jealous! I just dislike her!”

He nodded. “Stating the obvious, but why?”

You groaned in exasperation. “Why what? ”

“Why do you dislike her this much? Surely there must be a solid reason – other than jealousy, that is.”

Insufferable and impossible man!

For a moment, you pondered your answer, not wanting your disdain for her to come across as unwarranted.

But you failed.

Miserably.

“She's… icky! There is something really off about her,” you said, sounding far too exasperated to your liking. “I think she…”

You paused briefly, and Astarion furrowed his brows, waiting for you to go on.

Well.

Maybe you should just voice out your suspicions.

“I think she had something to do with us getting arrested - or that man dying. Maybe both.”

He glared at you in silence for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.

“Oh, aren't you just cute?” He said with a click of his tongue. “Ava would gain nothing from such an ordeal.”

You were fuming at his antics, but tried to rein in your temper. “What does that mean?”

“You'll just have to trust me on this.”

What?

“Are you being serious?”

He tilted his head. “I fail to see how my private affairs are of your concern.”

You placed both hands on your hips, glaring at him with perplexity. “You brought her to my home, so it starts being my concern.”

“Please – as if I want to be here in the first place.”

“Then leave.” You immediately suggested, pointing to the door.

He scoffed with a grimace. “Alright. I will.”

“Great.”

“Wonderful.”

He turned to leave, but suddenly halted as he glanced at the covered window to his right.

You crossed your arms, raising your brows. “Well?”

He twirled on his feet, giving you an artificial smile. “Could it perhaps wait until nightfall, darling? I'm afraid ‘burning to ashes under the midday sun’ isn't quite an invigourating activity to indulge in.”

Your shoulders slumped as he disarmed you with his words.

A wave of sickening guilt took hold of you.

Shit.

What a ridiculous thing to have suggested to him, and even more ridiculous that you two just couldn't seem to be on the same page for more than a few hours at a time.

“I'm sorry.”

He waved a dismissive hand. “Think nothing of it.”

“I'm really not jealous,” you said with a sigh.

It was true.

For the most part.

“I just worry.”

His features softened and the room plunged into silence.

Astarion eventually broke it with a sigh. “She used to be a monster hunter.”

You arched an eyebrow in disbelief. “A monster hunter?”

He nodded.

You had seen your fair share of monster hunters throughout your travels, and if there was one thing you knew for certain was that Ava did not look the part at all.

“And you trusted her word?”

He snorted. “Kind of hard not to with a stake pressed to my chest.”

Your eyes widened in horror. “She did what?!”

“Do calm down. I was just as skeptical when I first met her, so I foolishly asked for proof,” he said with a shrug. “Let's just say my doubts were put to rest.”

Your mouth dropped open in sheer perplexity.

So Astarion had been meddling with someone who hunted his kind for a living.

This was a whole new level of… derangement. Even coming from him.

You found your voice once again. “And you trusted after that?”

“Yes.”

You blinked. “She hunts… vampires!”

“You never listen to me properly, do you? I said she ‘used’ to be one. She practices Alchemy now.”

A lump rose in your throat. “So…. you and her…”

“Let's just say that we found a sweet spot in between and we each provide something useful to the other.”

You gave him a level look. “An arrangement?”

“I suppose you could call it that.”

Another one? Was Astarion hoarding these? First you and now… her?

And what could she possibly provide him?

And then it was as if your body was engulfed in ice shards.

Wait…

“So… what are the terms?”

Did you even want to know?

He seemed to be wondering whether or not to reply, but eventually spoke, “Well, she helps me feel more at ease in terms of being close to others... intimately.”

Your heart sunk into the deepest pits of your core.

“What?”

Now he looked rather impatient, rolling his eyes. “Do not jump to conclusions. She offered a helping hand once she realised how I... severe this was."

Oh.

“When you walked in on us the other night with her naked by my side… nothing had happened.”

You remembered him telling you this.

“Nothing ever does,” he continued, his words sounding slightly bitter. “So I take comfort in her naked form, but only so that my body can get used to it. Nothing more and nothing less.

A pang of discomfort ran through you and you suddenly felt like an idiot.

The rage you felt towards her dwindled rapidly as you understood the true nature of their arrangement.

Ava was merely helping him out with his intimacy.

“Oh.”

“I suppose ‘oh��� covers it.” he said nonchalantly.

“And what does she get in return?”

He shrugged. “My blood.”

What?!

He had to be joking.

You felt the scalding flames of rage for Ava take over your entire body all at once.

Your jaw dropped and you were at a loss for words.

“You – idiot! ” you growled in a fit of pure outrage, smacking his arm. “A blood merchant?! ”

He was scowling so deeply the lines on his face sank tenfold. “Do you think of me as a child?” he spat, suddenly towering over you. “I treaded this world long before you were even thought into existence.”

“Oh – please do tell me more, you ancient… tree! ” you blurted out, nearly wincing at the weak insult you had just hurled at him.

He snorted. “Your flattery needs working as usual.”

You ignored his taunt. “A blood merchant? Seriously? ”

“She is not one!”

“Then what does she want with your blood?”

“She is doing some research. That is all you need to know,” he ground out between gritted teeth.

Before you could retort, a soft knock on the door was heard.

“Astarion? Ava is leaving,” Gale spoke.

He threw one final scowl at you before heading out.

“Judging from the murderous look on your face, I imagine the conversation wasn't all that pleasant, my friend.”

You clenched your fists tight, brushing past Gale to follow Astarion.

By the time you reached the ample room, you were met with Ava giving his shoulder a tight squeeze.

She gave you a final glare, that sickening smile of hers still dancing on her lips. “I'll be seeing you soon.”

Then she turned to leave as Astarion exchanged a tense look with you.

You felt a gentle hand on your arm and flinched.

Shadowheart.

“If it's of any comfort to you, I am also suspicious of her aura,” she said with a grimace. “Although I can't say I'm surprised he would surround himself with such company.”

Heaving a deep sigh, you sank on the nearby cushioned chair.

She lowered herself at your side, offering you an all-black vial.

You raised a brow. “What is this?”

As you had come to expect from Shadowheart, she gave you the warmest of smiles. “Lavander extract mixed in with some herbs. It is said to keep the worst terrors of the night at bay,” she said, giving your forearm a gentle squeeze. “The apothecary did mention it is only a temporary fix. You must address the root cause of these dreams, friend.”

Your eyes immediately landed on Astarion who was busy emptying the contents of the satchel Ava had brought him.

Shadowheart followed your line of sight and gave you a knowing nod. “The two of you speak but neither listens, and I care too much for you to watch your light dim for him.”

You swallowed hard. 

She was right. 

Of course she was.

You took the tiny vial in your hand. “Thank you, my friend.”

She nodded curtly. “I shall keep an eye on him lest he does something foolish to you.”

And you knew she meant every single word.

How many times had you counted to twenty? You'd lost track of it already.

Maybe increasing it to thirty and repeating it many more times over would help you muster the courage to do this.

You kept on rasping your knuckles softly against the door to his room, but not soundly enough to provoke a knock.

It was becoming unbearable.

You felt as if something was constantly gnawing and clawing at you from the inside out. 

“I can hear you breathing, you know.”

His voice startled you, your heart skipping a beat.

Taking a deep breath for added courage, you gripped and turned the doorknob, swiftly pushing the door open.

There he was.

Sitting by the windowsill, bathed in moonlight as he flipped through a book that lay pressed against his thigh.

He looked positively… ethereal. 

The candles scattered across the room, made it feel more homely and inviting.

“Sneaking up on a rogue? My, my… feeling bold tonight, are we?”

Your heart faltered momentarily.

He didn't lift his head to meet you, and you were thankful for this.

You were having a hard time keeping yourself together. Beads of sweat pooled in the palms of your hands and you tried your best to keep your breathing as even as possible.

But this needed to happen.

And depending on the direction of this conversation, you might just leave his room feeling even more heartbroken than before.

“We need to talk.”

That caught his attention, and his crimson eyes met yours.

He arched an elegant brow, pressing the book shut. “Go on.”

Suddenly, you felt cold.

No… freezing .

As if the weight of his stare steadily drained the warmth from your body, even with your robe tightly wrapped around you.

You mustered all the willpower you possibly could.

“Why her?”

A crow's foot of amusement appeared by his left eye. “You'll have to be more specific, darling.”

You heaved a deep sigh of frustration, considering the idea of simply walking away. 

Why was this so hard?

But a small sliver of determination kept your focus. “This arrangement you have with her… I…” You paused for a moment, struggling to find the right wording to this. “I just want to know why her.”

Why not me?

Astarion shifted to stand gracefully on his feet, leaving the book on the padded chair.

“Why not?”

Answering questions with more questions was a sure way to frustrate you, but he excelled at this dance.

“Please answer me…”

He took a few steps in your direction, his eyes studying your face as if trying to strip you bare.

“Because it's easier.”

“Than what?”

He didn't answer.

You waited for him to go on, but were far too impatient to hold back.

So, you tried again.“Is she the reason why you're so distant from me, then?” 

He tilted his head. “And how did you arrive at that conclusion, I wonder?”

Another question for a question.

“You've been distant from me for a while now,” you said, trying to rub the sweat away from your hands. “And I can't help but think she's the reason why.”

He straightened ever so slightly before closing the distance between you two.

“What I have with her is merely transactional.”

Ah. Well…

You did know all too well of transactions with Astarion… 

After all, you had been pushed into one from the moment you had gotten together with him at the Tiefling celebration, even if unbeknownst to you.

“Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you'd never turn on me…”

His words of confession still echoed through your mind from time to time.

“Like what we have now?”

“It is nothing of the sort." he immediately said.

For better or worse?

“How so?”

His proximity had you suck in a sharp breath. “She's not you.”

A cold chill ran through your body.

“That is what you want to know, isn't it? Why I never asked that of you.”

Astarion could be too perceptive for your own good. It was as if he could easily read you like an open book.

You slowly nodded.

“Because you're – well… you're you ,” he said,his face softening. “And as selfish as I am, I could never burden you with this. Not you.”

His words carved into your chest like the sharpest daggers.

Even after all this time, he still regarded himself as a burden to others. That what he had been through had tainted him beyond repair.

But…

“Is that why you push me away?”

He was too close now.

Close enough to throw you off balance with his imposing demeanour.

“How can I not?”

That stung. 

Hard.

“Have you any idea how much I envy those who have never met you?” 

Your heart dropped.

And then dread took over.

“Or how I envy those who have yet to meet you?”

This had been exactly what you had feared coming into his room.

The confirmation that he was ready to move from you.

That all that was left of your bond with him was this arrangement and the empty shell of what used to be something that resembled a friendship.

Even after he had comforted you last night.

How much of that was truly genuine?

“Do you want to know why?” he asked.

Did you?

“... why?”

Then you felt his icy fingers on your cheek, jolting from the sudden shift in temperature. “Because they get to know you for the first time. They get to experience all of you,” he went on, brushing his thumb across your skin. “In another lifetime, we would have met without the manipulation and hurt and pain.”

You froze in place and your mind went blank.

“You would have met my unbroken self, and I would have adored you unconditionally, because how could I not when everything about you is so easy to love?”

Somehow, this made everything even worse.

Your stomach twisted in knots and you were left utterly speechless.

You had promised yourself not to shed more tears for him, but it was proving to be a challenge as his words seeped into your core like poison.

It was the painful realisation of what could have been.

“And even through all the deception and lies, you could never bring yourself to loathe me. Even when it was decidedly the wisest thing for you to do,” he said, voice steady and calm. “You never loathed me. Not then and not now – maybe not ever .”

Your lips quivered as he spoke every word of truth.

You then swallowed the thick lump in your throat and met his gaze. “You're not broken.”

But it was evident he didn't believe your words.

“And it is not fair that you get to make my decisions for me,” you said, pulling his hand away from your face. “You could have told me all of this, Astarion. We used to have sincere conversations before. What changed?”

He looked away, and you could feel the vulnerability creep into his features.

“Everything.”

You placed a hand to the side of his face, wanting him to meet your gaze once again.

He resisted at first, but eventually succumbed, soft eyes meeting yours.

“Do you regret not going through with the ritual?”

He winced under your touch as if you'd just burnt him.

“A few days ago… that conversation in the cell…”

Astarion didn't look willing to pursue this matter at all.

You inwardly cursed at yourself.

Fuck… you've pushed it.

“Do I wonder what it would be like? Yes – can you blame me for it? To live again without being reduced to a vampire spawn? To tread the lands freely and with so much power that no one would dare cross me?” He paused abruptly as if snapping out of a dream, eyes narrowing at you. “This Wish spell nonsense is dragging, and I feel my chances are slimming with each passing day. We take one step forward and two steps back.”

You felt for him. You truly did.

It seemed that the odds were ever against you, but you also had faith in Gale and your own abilities.

“We'll figure it out. I promise.”

He scoffed. “Do not make promises you can't keep.”

His face looked sour and it pained you.

“You're still the same man I…” fell for…

But you let the final words die in your mouth, not wanting to take it too far.

He stared expectantly at you and, in that moment, you were sure that feeling had never truly left.

You were still foolishly in love with him.

And the confirmation that it could be perhaps reciprocal to an extent was tugging at the frayed ends of your sanity. 

“You could have anyone you desire,” he said, with a slight hint of pity in his voice. “From artisans to noblemen – they would all crawl for you.”

It was tempting to accept his praise, but it frustrated you that it felt like he was merely deflecting.

And the trace of pity truly gnawed at your nerves. Why did he pity you? For still having feelings for him? 

You snorted. “Well, they're not you.”

Hurling his own words at him had him pressing his lips together.

“I don't know if I can give you anything real. I simply don't know how…”

You caressed his cool cheek. “We can start by rebuilding our friendship.”

He leaned into your touch. “I rather like the sound of that.”

You offered him a reassuring smile.

To be honest, you were more than perfectly fine with that prospect. 

Even if a part of you craved more than a friendship, you were also aware that some wounds took longer to heal.

His wounds.

Your wounds.

And the ones you shared together.

So long as he didn't push you away with no solid reason, you would be fine.

And so would he.

Then you came to the conclusion that…

He didn't need her.

He didn't need Ava at all.

You were there for him.

There was no need for him to meddle with strangers when he had you as a friend.

“You don't need her.” 

His eyes widened slightly. “What do you mean?”

“You don't have to resort to her for intimacy,” you said carefully, waiting for his approval. “I can help, if you so wish, of course.”

Much to your dismay, he scowled rather deeply.

“I have already stolen too much from you.”

You shook your head, gripping the lace near your collarbone, tugging gently. “You cannot steal that which is freely given.”

And you meant every word.

You then gripped the string of your robe. “May I remove this?”

He silently nodded.

As you undid it, the silk fabric began to slide down your arms, leaving you to stand only in your nightdress.

His eyes dropped from your face and roamed along your frame.

He took a few steps in your direction until he was standing close enough that you could feel the coldness of his skin.

“You don't have to do this.” he said.

You gave him a reassuring nod. “We can stop if you don't feel comfortable.” 

His eyes found yours. “Can I look at you? Bare?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Slowly, you unravelled the first lace at the front of your nightdress.

Suddenly, Astarion's hand gripped yours as you moved to the next one further down.

You took a deep breath, fearing you had overdone it.

That he would stop you.

Only… he didn't.

Instead, he picked the string in between his fingers, giving it a tug until it came undone.

His eyes never left yours and you felt shivers prickling at your skin, as he exposed more and more of your skin.

You felt another tug and the fabric loosened.

“I do wonder…”

Another one.

You bit down on your lower lip, holding his unwavering gaze.

And another one.

Your chest heaved more rapidly as your heart hammered in your ears.

This time, his eyes dropped as he worked on the last strings.

“... do friends do this?”

A chill ran down your back as it dawned on you that there was a contrast to this.

Just a few hours ago, he had been tying the very same laces to preserve your modesty in a moment of vulnerability.

But now, you had been the one to initiate it, and he had undone each of them until your front was fully open.

“It depends…” your voice was but a whisper.

He pushed the fabric aside just enough to expose a hardening nipple.

“On what?”

You couldn't bring yourself to provide a decent reply as you felt his thumb ghost the underside of your breast.

Then he flicked the sleeve from your shoulder, until it draped down your arm.

“Are we really just meant to be friends?”

Heat rushed to your face at his bluntness and you looked at him dazedly as if drunk on his words.

“Is that why I plague your dreams at night and your thoughts during the day?”

Astarion had a gift for words and he could almost make it seem like he could easily make love by using them, if he so desired.

Or completely make you crumble under the weight of his words.

You couldn't bring yourself to answer any of his questions, as you felt the burden of the truth weigh down on you.

“You are beautiful.”

His sincere praise almost drew a gasp from you.

You had the other sleeve sliding down as well, until the nightdress slipped along your body, pooling at your feet.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you were standing fully naked in front of him.

There was familiarity in it, but that wasn't what had your heart fluttering.

It was how he silently glared at you as if awestruck.

“So very beautiful…”

This time, his words of praise made you feel too self-aware and far more exposed than simply being naked.

Reflexively, you brought your hands to cover your bare chest.

You had always felt undeserving of his attention. 

Astarion was what some might call the epitome of physical harmony.

His body was a work of art and his beauty unmatched.

“You don't ever have to hide from me,” he said softly, taking one hand in his. “Come here.”

He slowly guided you towards the window, the full moon up high casting its pale glow down on you.

“Look at the window.”

You did so, watching your lonely and washed out reflection show up on the clear glass.

Fleetingly, you wished you could see him, too, as he came to stand behind you, placing both hands on your shoulders.

But there was no one there but you.

You stood alone, but felt his presence all the same.

“You are a sight to behold,” he said in a whisper, his lips close to your ear. “Do not ever doubt it.”

“So are you…”

He chuckled, placing one finger under your chin, and tilting your head towards him.

You suddenly felt your knees buckle under you as his lips ghosted over yours.

“May I kiss you?”

Oh.

That startled you and your eyes widened. “Are you sure?”

His brows furrowed lightly. “We don't have to, of course.”

You wanted to.

More than anything.

But this wasn't just about you.

“Maybe we should take it slow?” you suggested, the coldness of his lips nearly touching yours.

He drew back slightly.

“Is that what you want?”

“Maybe it's what you need.”

He hesitated at first. “I think… I need this.”

Doubt flared inside you like a wildfire. On one hand, you feared he was rushing things once again.

On the other, he seemed rather at ease with the prospect of going further.

So maybe…

“You need to let me know if it's too much.”

He inched closer once more. “I will.”

Your heart clenched hard before rapidly doubling its pace. 

You fully melted into him as he took your lips in his, keeping you still by gripping your chin lightly in between his fingers.

This kiss was familiar.

It was measured and controlled.

This one felt and tasted like… home.

It was reminiscent of the last kisses you had shared before Moonrise Towers. When both of you had gotten so comfortable with each other, it felt like second nature to be so intimate.

This wasn't driven by lust like the one you shared at The Blushing Mermaid only a few days prior.

It was driven by yearning.

Longing.

He pressed down on your chin with his thumb, parting your lips for his tongue to slip through, and your eyes quickly fluttered shut.

How you had missed this… tasting him as he completely overtook your senses.

His cold touch set your skin alight and you had to grip the hardwood shutter by the window to keep yourself from melting away.

You broke from him to let out a soft gasp when he pressed himself against you, his growing erection nudging at your lower back.

As touch starved as you were, you still held back, not wanting to overstep any lines.

He trailed his tongue along your lower lip, and you slowly turned to fully face him, cradling his face in your hands never parting from him.

The kiss morphed into something more urgent and primal, as if he had waited an eternity for this moment.

Your body was now fully flushed against him, and you heard the faintest growl emerge from his throat when you pressed into his bulge.

He suddenly broke the kiss, causing your eyes to fly open.

“Too much?” 

“Yes.”

Astarion slowly tore himself away from you body, his face tense and his eyes avoiding yours.

For a split second you felt panic take over your mind at the fear of having hurt him.

“Astarion…”

But he quickly straightened himself, offering a reassuring smile.

It felt genuine and you allowed yourself to relax.

“Are you well?”

His face seemed blank for a moment. “Of course.”

Your heart dropped at the realisation that his words, once again, did not match his body language.

“Maybe we rushed it…”

As if your voice had snapped him out of a trance, his eyes finally met yours. “It's hard not to do so with you.”

The impending sense that he was trying to compensate with words began to loom over you.

He swiftly circled you and moved back to help you slip into your robe, careful fingers tying it snugly around you, yet you felt more exposed than ever.

“Astarion, I didn't mean for-”

He pressed his forefinger to your lips. “I was the one who got carried away. Do not take the blame for that. Please.”

You felt relief slowly settle deep within you.

Astarion's words did match his body language this time.

You then heaved a big sigh as he dropped his hand.

“Do you wish for me to stay? We can talk about it…”

He closed the space between the two of you and pressed a light kiss to your forehead. “Not tonight.”

You nodded understandingly, enjoying the tenderness.

“Will you still seek out Ava?”

He pulled away to meet your gaze. “I might indulge in some of her words of wisdom, yes.”

“And will you still give her your blood?”

“I believe so.”

You felt the beginnings of a frown settle on your face. “You don't have to…” … not anymore .

“You also don't have to give me yours, yet you willingly do so,” he said, arching an eyebrow. “As do I.”

“But it's different with us… I can easily withdraw my consent.”

“Correct.”

You hesitated for a moment. “I just worry that she might take it too far…”

A genuine smile of amusement tugged at his lips. “Ava is not someone you should worry about.”

Well, it was easier said than done.

There was still an unsettling feeling about her brewing within you. You couldn't quite place your finger on what it was, but it was still there…

“If she tries anything to hurt you-” 

He immediately cut you off. “Oh, I am quite sure you would bestow upon her a curse so great that historians all over Faerûn would rush to document such an event in their books.”

Your outer shell of toughness cracked open and you chuckled. 

“I would hope they do that.”

“A cautionary tale, if you will,” he nodded with a sly grin.

“And I will gladly do that to her should the situation call for it.”

It wasn't an empty threat. 

He nodded. “I don't expect anything less from you, darling.”

You stared at each other in silence for what felt like an eternity. 

It felt… comfortable.

Your heart felt full from finally having had a heartfelt conversation that was long overdue.

There were still edges to polish and fears to keep at bay, but, for now, it felt enough.

“Have a good night, Astarion.” you offered a sweet smile.

He returned it. “Dream of me – well, the satisfying kind, I hope.”

“So do I.”

“And if not, you know where to find me."

His words of comfort wrapped around you like the warmest blanket.

You nodded, snatching your nightdress from the floor to exit his room.

With a final glance over your shoulder, you found that his smile had wavered ever so slightly, and did your best not to overthink it.

And as the door to his room clicked shut, you shook your head and held it up high, determination setting in your mind.

You were going to talk to Ava.

TBC

[acid-ixx]

Hiii, I have read all your work and it is very good :D!! I've read it several times and never get bored.

Can I ask about something? I'm curious about the characteristics or signs of yandere appearing in Tim. Will he be the last family member to become a yandere? Sorry I asked like this because I feel like he's not getting enough attention in drabbles, questions from other readers, or anything else. So I'm curious.

I hope you understand my question. Because English is not my first language.

— masterlist !

don't mind me using the tags here, i want to clarify a lot of things.

hi anon!! don't worry about your english, i understand perfectly and it's also not my first language too hehe. and to all the others who have asked about tim's (or any other characters') appearance in the series: fear not, nobody is getting ignored at all, i intend for everyone to have their designated events/moments that trigger yandere characteristics for the reader for each chapter. it's my plan to make them each as unique as possible with their intentions, motives and goals, not just them being simply "obsessed" with you, so i'm trying my best to add depth to the story.

that means the entire series will stretch out quite a lot (i already have outlined multiple arcs, flashbacks, and all the characters' individual traits and significance). it's not just going to be ten chapters, i want to remind others that there's more lore to just the neglect, your mother's dark past, and characters that haven't even been introduced to the plot yet, so if you guys prefer one-shots or something shorter, then the series is not for you folks, sorry 😭

as for tim, he is quite literally my favorite character (surprise!), so of course he's going to get special treatment. he's not going to be the last to become yandere, but his spiral to becoming a yandere takes quite a lot of time since compared to others, it's him who spends the least amount of moments with you. even in the non-neglected au i wrote, what triggered his obsession was mere curiousity.

though just because there're lesser events with him, doesn't mean there will be none. he certainly plays a major role in the "wild goose chase arc where the family tries to negotiate (kidnap) you whilst you try to escape to multiple cities/end up in a completely different country". he may not express his love for the reader well, but he most definitely knows the most about you.

oh! and the traits that he does have as a yandere looks tame when you compare it to others, but it's also because it manifests through his personal dialogue (as i reckon he's keeps most of his thoughts about you to himself most of the time (gatekeeper archetype) and he's the character with the most internal dialogue/thoughts too). he's the worst stalker you could have, the one who you should look out for the most with just how much he knows about you in such a short period of time. tim's intelligence and detective skills knows no bounds, and he won't stop exhausting himself until the very knowledge of what the blood pumping under your skin feels like and the exact temperature of your body— is extracted and stored into the terabytes of data he has into his personal batcave.

and spoiler alert: he's also the one who uncovers your mother's past and alongside bruce, what had happened between the period of time when you were dragged out of the closet and the other time in elementary when you were nearly kidnapped, which completely leads to another arc wherein it's where their obsession drives off to a completely different plane of existence, exalting vengeance on the people who tormented you; but tim's pettiness is just on a whole nother level.

and i have to stop here before i (excitedly) spoil the entire series' plot LMAO. my answer to this is a bit more casual to the other asks, so i hope it doesn't irritate anyone.

so thank you for asking this! i also have a question for you people too:

how is the current progression of the plot? i get that it isn't even 10% finished and some moments feel slow, but i try to be as immersive as possible to the readers. so for those who have read the entire thing, what do you want me to possibly add, or does anyone have other clarifications? can anyone tolerate a fanfic that can possibly lead to more than 250k words??? 😭

[pikahlua]

Ahhh I meant to ask, if you do end up giving thoughts on the leaks, I would LOVE to know your thoughts and this epilogue’s endings for bakugou (obviously!) and ochako as well.. in detail pls hehe

Everyone and their dog apparently wants my thoughts on the chapter, and I have to say I just don't wanna give them in the detail people seem to crave. Look, the chapter is meh. It's just meh. There are some cute things that happen in it and it seems that's at the expense of consistency in the story. They clearly didn't think about the things they were implying hard enough. Oh, Izuku and Ochako just didn't fucking interact for 8 years after high school but NOW Izuku wants to talk more? What about Ochako's school program with children that seems RIGHT UP Izuku's alley? They're both practically pursuing the same thing but apparently never breathe each other's air. Despite not thinking about each other for literal years apparently they're still attracted to each other, which, why? What are they attracted to? They're entirely new people now, they're meeting as adults with quite a few years missing between them? Oh, here's the rankings but also we're gonna give a throwaway line about how they're volatile and useless bUT STILL WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU THEM. THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING ACTUALLY BUT HERE THEY ARE. Okay let's just imply Himiko is going to be Ochako's voyeur for life.

But worst of all is the weird idea that this is somehow the logical conclusion of the story that came before it. A conclusion should cap off the themes of its story and MAYBE introduce a new question to ponder. The story should LOGICALLY lead to the conclusion. But this conclusion basically turns around and says "Things change when you're an adult. You'll be a totally different person and maybe have new dreams. Except also you may not. Life is normal and boring and dreams sometimes die." What? WHAT????? Where's the theme of service to others? Where's the theme of heroes inspiring the next generation? Why are we implying heroes who are too good at their job will force their job to become unnecessary and die out but then try to prove no wait heroes are still necessary because sometimes people get weird urges to steal cars? What? Whatttt??? So heroes just exist now to be the quirk police basically. This is what all those kids were growing up to be? That's a weird implication after a whole story where the entire adult generation showed a VERY DIFFERENT AND MORE ADMIRABLE BRAND OF HEROISM (except for those that didn't, which was far more interesting than whatever this is). So the future of heroes AND villains is banality? Petty useless shit?

This is why 430 was such a good ending chapter. It DID showcase heroism in a mundane setting that actually had meaning and impact and inspiration. It made Izuku's adult life look like a fulfillment of his dream just in a new way.

In 431, Katsuki Bakugo is the only major character that shows a connection to the story that came before. He's the only one that still dreams of heroism and unity and inspiration, and he still thinks about who Izuku is deep down and resolves to save him from his stupidity AND SUCCESSFULLY DOES IT. He's the only one that resembles the heroic ideal that All Might supposedly instilled in everyone's hearts. MAYBE Ochako does too, but it's for a brief flash and then suddenly we're back on the mundane train (pun not intended) in a bad way.

And Shouto. Shouto can stay because he's the only character who PROPERLY introduces the question of "more to a hero than heroism" in the ending as a conclusion that introduces a new question, but it just...doesn't lead anywhere. I could see a potential path for that to have led the chapter somewhere meaningful, but it didn't.

So I maintain Katsuki is standing there watching on as the only character thinking about how the fuck to inspire people to be heroes again.

In summary, if I consider this the actual conclusion to the whole story, it's ass. I don't want it. It's useless and almost condescending. It's like the chapter is shaming me. How dare I enjoy the 430 chapters that came before, how dare I dream and feel inspired, how dare I expect anything of the concept of "hero" introduced by All Might and then the next one introduced by Izuku? But if I consider it an extra DLC bonus omake what-if didn't-think-too-hard-about-this-I'm-just-spitballing-and-having-fun-or-whatever side comic, fine, whatever, the mundane banality it wants to be succeeds, because I'm bored and I'm ignoring it. I'll have fun with it in fanfic maybe if I feel like it, but I ain't tying this shit into the themes of the actual MHA story. It doesn't belong there.

If that all sounds like more than you bargained for with your ask, it's because I received 30 other asks all wanting me to expand on these points, and so I decided to consolidate them all here. It's just too many asks for me to respond to individually. If I don't answer your ask, random anon reading this, it's because I consider your ask answered well enough.

[phoenixkaptain]

A story like Thousand Autumns is very subtle in its romance.

Shen Qiao has only ever known his sect. He knows it very well, because of this fact. He knows the people, he knows the rules, he knows the daily doings and who is doing them. He knows every blade of grass and every stone. He’s like a lonely mountain flower, on the highest peak, unseen by any but a few birds and unknowing that there’s more it might never know.

When he finds himself away from his sect for the first time, he’s confused. At most, he’s gone to the base of the mountain, maybe the fields surrounding that, but no further. The flower was plucked and tossed aside.

For a man stumbling blindly in the world, literally and figuratively, there really isn’t a better guide than one that knows just about everything. And that’s, without a doubt, Yan Wushi.

Yan Wushi has lived longer than Shen Qiao, has been more places than Shen Qiao, and has fought more battles than Shen Qiao. Yan Wushi is the perfect example of something out of reach even for someone out of reach. He’s the only one who could answer any questions asked of him, but especially the questions that Shen Qiao would want to ask him.

And there’s no question in my mind that Yan Wushi doesn’t fall for Shen Qiao at first sight, but he’s certainly attracted to him. Not in an overtly sexual or emotional way, but Yan Wushi, the way his character is set up? It’s impossible for him not to be fascinated by Shen Qiao.

He knows Shen Qiao is the very picture of a peerless immortal. He’s well aware that Shen Qiao is considered untouchable by even the people closest to Shen Qiao. He’s most aware that Shen Qiao is Qi Fengge’s (coughhndisputedcough) favourite disciple, and honestly that’s enough for him to overwhemingly want to mess with Shen Qiao.

There are a lot of reasons for Yan Wushi to fall for Shen Qiao. Most of the people in the novel fall for Shen Qiao, after all, there is a precedent.

But the one I’ve seen questioned is Shen Qiao’s affection for Yan Wushi. Where does it come from? When did it start? Does Shen Qiao even fucking like that asshole?

The easy answer is: yes, he does. The novel tells us that. Shen Qiao, despite everything, does fall for Yan Wushi’s, um, “charms” in the end. This is made clear.

But why? A thousand voices cry out. Why the fuck would any reasonable person like Yan goddamn Wushi in any capacity?

Well, there’s your first mistake. Shen Qiao is not a reasonable person.

Shen Qiao as a character is absolutely terrifying. He could absolutely destroy the world given half the inclination, but he just doesn’t want to. He’s already considered unmatched before he’s pushed unceremoniously off of a mountain, and his journey only increases his strength. He isn’t quite equal to Yan Wushi, but he’s the only person Yan Wushi ever sees as equal to himself.

Shen Qiao’s best and worst trait is his patience. He’s unwavering. He really just embodies taoism, especially as it’s presented in the novels. He is the picture of a river that doesn’t stray from its path.

Which is why it’s hard for him to reconcile his own attraction to Yan Wushi, but let’s all be clear here. Yan Wushi absolutely starts seducing Shen Qiao on day fucking one. If he could’ve (if Qi Fengge hadn’t been there) he would’ve tried to eat that cabbage when it was just a little sprout. Shen Qiao is unpracticed in most social interactions, to be frank, but he’s especially unused to romance and Yan Wushi really is his first introduction to being hit on.

Yan Wushi is far from good, at really any point, to anybody but especially to Shen Qiao. But that doesn’t particularly matter because Shen Qiao chooses to forgive him, again and again. And I really think, after giving Shen Qiao to a confirmed terrible, awful person who has already promised to do terrible thing to Shen Qiao, that Shen Qiao himself wouldn’t forgive literally anyone else for doing that. And he shouldn’t, because it was really fucked up, but that still doesn’t matter because Shen Qiao ultimately DOES forgive Yan Wushi.

What am I saying? I’m saying that Shen Qiao fell for Yan Wushi first. It is the only way the story makes any sense. Shen Qiao is annoyed at him, he’s furious at him, he’s so fucking pissed he could kill that man, but he likes him. He likes Yan Wushi’s company. He likes that Yan Wushi gives him a challenge. He’s exasperated, but he likes it.

Shen Qiao forgives Yan Wushi SO MANY TIMES. Yan Wushi humiliates him and mocks him and is the absolute worst, but Shen Qiao forgives him and more than that, Shen Qiao always is waiting for Yan Wushi to come back to bother him more.

Is there more to Shen Qiao’s attraction? Probably. Is it a daddy kink? It could be. But I honestly can’t help but read it as Shen Qiao falling for the absolute pits of a man that is Yan Wushi. Shen Qiao likes that old bastard and decides to spend the rest of his life with the fucker and he is just too much of a block of ice to show it.

[svtminji]

𐙚 ‧ jeongmi ─── scenarios

╰ anon request: Your recent blog was so sweet!! It kinda shows us their relationship dynamic with each other. Maybe for another blog it could be “fan favorite moments” with them — ⭐️ anon

I 𝓲. I request ୨୧ jeonghan x oc

❪ 🏹  going seventeen  ❫ as always, going seventeen provides the viewer a comedic setting of seventeen and their idol personas. in this fic, you'll be able to read the jeongmi moments/cuts caught by carats. this is just a compilation of my favorite gose episodes 🥲 not proof-read 😞

﹙  INSOMNIA-ZERO I ﹚—  with seungcheol still in his hiatus, minji was the first person up and she had no clue what she was getting herself into. although there were a few remarks about her snarky behavior when she gets mad and her constant fights with s.coups, she had a clean slate. most of the members mentioned how she was quite literally their mother since they spent most, if not all, their time training. after her time was over, minji had left the mattress with a heartbeat of 98, which was not bad compared to the rest. minji handed jeonghan the heart monitor and sat herself next to wonwoo. 

as many might notice, the 95 line are quite stuck to the bone and minji was not afraid of spilling some secrets about jeonghan. the female member began talking about the "oppa" situation and jeonghan turned to the side trying to forget it. the members, who had already heard this story, continued it with jeonghan's prior remarks about how she would never have a clue. all of the chatter about the two later transferred to jeonghan's more devious plans towards the members; minji sat there in silence just montioring the members. once jeonghan's time was over, his first instinct was to look at the cause of the chaos: minji. 

"jeonghan-ah, remember. once your time is up, you can't defend yourself~"

[forced to be silent]

he gave her the stink eye and handed joshua the monitor. minji scooted to give him space, which he gladly took. the pair sat in silence for a while until he started to open his mouth about joshua. in the camera shots, you could see the small little heart eyes minji gave jeonghan whenever he spoke and would lean into him. it was the small signals that would drive shippers crazy.. though it would soon end after jeonghan was part of the three members that would go home early, minji being tied with another and turned her attention to joshua c:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀𝐉.⠀⠀⠀정한

﹙  TTT 2020 ﹚—  this was the "going seventeen" episode that basically comfirmed the dating rumors between these two. minji, jeonghan, hoshi, and woozi were all in the same car on their way to the rented house. while woozi and driver jeonghan were in the front seats, minji and soonyoung were in the back having fun and giggling to each other. this led to frequent checks from jeonghan through the rearview-mirror only to spot minji looking at him and smiling :3. at their stop to get food, the "woozi cam" captured the pair walking together with jeonghan's arm around her. during the cuts of them eating, a slight drunk minji was basically all up on jeonghan. it got so worse the editors had to cut so much of the footage. 

while being on the losing team during foot-volleyball, minji made her way to the alcohol stand where her worst enemy laid, the vodka mix. offering to drink the member's shots, minji knew she wouldn't remember a thing tomorrow. before she started her third shot, jeonghan looked at her questionably and asked if she was okay doing this. 

"are you sure you're going to be okay? i don't want you throwing up on me later tonight."

"relax babe, i'll be fine! i used to go band for band when i was a teenager, it'll be alright~~"

[. . . . “babe”?]

noticing her slipup of the word "babe", jeonghan knew it was too late. the members just stared at her and hoped it wouldn't make it to the final cut (it did). though like the self-proclaimed pro she is, she raised the shot glass to her lips and threw her head back. the bitter aftertaste of whatever was in that container had left her feeling a little silly, which had meant the real fun had started to begin.

joining soonyoung in the fanatic drunks is minji. as stated before, minji becomes up and personal with the people around her when drunk. although she may have a high alcohol tolerance (thanks to her underage drinking), minji's affections become more and more affectionate when drinking way too much. 

during this time, minji and jeonghan were first beginning their relationship and they did not want to be exposing it right away to the cameras; but pair minji + alcohol and you get a mess that is quite hard to clean up. after she had made dinner, she sat between jeonghan and seungcheol. many fans point out the difference in actions done by the two men. jeonghan was basically minji's headrest and seungcheol was just there to balance her out. 

"hannie.. you look so pretty today.. like a cloud.."

"minji-ah, leave that poor man alone.."

"coups.. you look handsome too.."

coups + mizu + han + shua = the poly couple idc argue w the wall

the day after constant drinking and singing, minji was pretty much hung over #she threw up and spent most of her day taking things slow, especially when cleaning up the kitchen… moving into the car was the best thing she could’ve done. with hoshi taking the driver’s role on the way back, the '95 duo were left in the backseats and spent their time resting (cuddling eachother too bruh).

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀𝐉.⠀⠀⠀정한

﹙  AB-LIB GOING COMPANY ﹚—  the first ‘gose’ episode after the news of the couple… so let’s say the members didn’t quite hold back. starting off with the ceo and the employee relationship ..

[before minji enters (on standby with the "foreign department")]

“have you guys heard the rumor?” seungcheol starts while leaning in to talk with the rest of the ‘employees’. some of them shook their head and leaned in to hear.

“supposedly the ceo and mizuki.. are dating.” seungkwan revealed it. “but that’s just a rumor..”

“isn’t that nepotism?”

“hyung.. that’s when your born into the company..”

minji’s reaction, while on standby, was just her eye-rolling at what they were doing. though as soon as minghao, jun, and vernon started walking towards the rest of the ‘employees’, she followed them.

[staff chwe hansol, doi mizuki, wen junhui, xu minghao come to work]

“oh! good morning mizuki!” seungkwan smiled as he spoke as if he wasn’t talking about her a second ago.

“good morning seungkwan, how’s the research going?”

“research about what…?” minji smiled about his inital confusion and began her snarky comment.

“about my relationship with the ce-”

[ceo yoon jeonghan comes to work]

though she was cut off by jeonghan’s entrance, she just closed her mouth and stayed quiet. after embarking in the classic “content is power!” “sleep when you’re dead!” chants, the day went pretty eventful. not much was spoken about the ongoing question at hand but that was until jeonghan stirred the pot.

“let’s see who hasn’t spoken in a while.” jeonghan scanned the room to which he laid eyes on her scribbling down doodles. “ah, mizuki.. why don’t you share what’s on your notepad?”

seungcheol, who was across from her, snickered then later shook due to the ‘coldness’. minji smiled, stood up, and cleared her throat. “well, it says i’ll like to go home.”

[not taking her job seriously.. pure silence]

“great! everyone clap!” jeonghan replied after a few seconds of silence and everyone had followed through.

“what a guy.. only excusing her just because they’re dating..”

“this has to be corruption..”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀𝐉.⠀⠀⠀정한

﹙  THE TRUMAN SHOW OF MR. SVT’S WE LIVE ALONE ﹚—  placed into a small room was seungcheol, minji, jeonghan, wonwoo, and seokmin. they were all commentating and watching the “everyday life” of mr. svt, mingyu. soon enough minji’s turn would begin as the new “mr. svt”.

[a good morning for the new mr. svt]

with an airpod in one ear, she knew it wouldn’t end well, especially with that devil in that room as well. the female made her way towards the kitchen to figure out a small snack. although she had eaten prior to the shoot, she thought of her members first.

“make some beef and noodles, minji-ah” seungcheol’s voice spoke within the airpod. minji, in order to pretend she didn’t hear it, thought about what to make for lunch.

“hmm.. beef and noodles seem good right now. i should start making some before my time is gone.”

[4th wall breaker]

as she began getting the ingredients, she paid no attention to the conversation in her ear. though on the other side, the members were complimenting her cooking skills.

“wah, i know it’s going to taste good. who’s next after her?” mingyu asked the question that was lingering in everyone’s mind.

“s.coups is next so he’ll be eating whatever is left..” jeonghan replied as he sighed.

minji, who didn’t want to disappoint her boyfriend, started to placed more beef into the frying pan. she smiled and spoke out loud: “i’ll make more meat for hannie and the rest.”

[thoughtful girlfriend and member]

“oooh~~” seokmin pushed jeonghan slightly at the words that came from her mouth. “don’t pretend to be coy!”

jeonghan became silent for a while, looking down and smiling.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀𝐉.⠀⠀⠀정한

﹙  CHRISTMAS IN AUGUST II ﹚—  the episode loaded into with jeonghan in the middle of the set, using his food coupon. minji walked in with the rest of the members and managed to stand behind him. placing her arms around him, she whispered in his ear and to which he nodded. circling in the spaghetti with his utensils, he raised it up to her mouth and the female gladly to the bite.

[special privileges]

“wow.. you give her some but it’s the end of the world if you give us any bite huh?” dino spoke as he looked in disbelief.

“yah, she asked me politely. what type of man am i to deny her?”

minji just smiled and listened to the chaos she created. after the rules were explained once again, christmas in august had already begun (even if it wasn't even august 😞). she had small knowledge of horror games and the female would only play them with friends or family. considering this was a one time thing, minji didn’t mind at all. choosing the room that was the least scary led her to be in the room with seokmin, who immediately embraced her.

[a motherly aura enters]

“minji-noona~~ i’m so glad we’re together.” seokmin says as she sits down beside him.

“i was so scared, i didn’t want to choose a room that was all alone.” minji replies as she looks around the dark and empty room. in-front of them laid the gaming computer and she knew it wasn’t going to be an easy game.

after a while, the door opened once again and this time jeonghan entered. both seokmin and minji sighed in relief.

“a-yo, a-yo” jeonghan said as he broke up the silence within the room.

“i’m relieved you’re here” seokmin spoke as he motioned him to sit down.

[not lonely]

“i’m a spy”

“don’t lie” minji warned, she had enough of his shenanigans already.

“okay~~”

“just sit down and be quiet”

[jeonghan joins room 4]

after making jeonghan stay, they all waited for the next member to arrive.

“s.coups?” seokmin question as he saw a figure walk in.

“it’s s.coups? what is this?” jeonghan spoke as him and seokmin grabbed s.coups by the shoulders leading him towards the chairs.

[a full room: three ‘95s, and one ‘98]

“yay~~ it’s coups!! we’ll definitely beat whatever game we’re going to get” minji replied as she got up and hugged him.

“this is why i didn’t want to come.. to where you, seokmin, and jeonghan were” seungcheol finally spoke as he leaned away from the affections.

[sensitive eardrums]

minji pouted in response and got off of him, “you’re no fun at all.”

after the complaints, the group managed to make it throughout the game with barely any problems. although minji had barely touched the mouse and keyboard, she still managed to give in her in-put of where to go. though all that carats could see was her hiding behind jeonghan during the more graphic and intense scenes.

❪ 🐰 ❫ — an

this was originally supposed to be posted a LONG time ago.

i would add more gose but i haven’t caught up at all since the middle of 2023 and i would like to save some for the enlistment period 🥲

i decided to begin where it would signalize when they started to rlly like each other 🤞

[starkeyisthelastname]

Step!bro rafe part 2? Like maybe everyone’s reactions after he blurted it out, the conversation with Ward and Rose, etc!!

The island was small and word traveled fast at Rafe’s loud statement to JJ Maybank about him being the father of his step-sister’s baby. When Ward got the phone call from the Island Club owner about the incident, he didn’t want to believe his already troubled son had really impregnated his step-daughter. The step-daughter that never gave him any reason to believe she would ever let Rafe do this to her, making Ward wonder if the sex had been consensual at all. The more he thought about his grandchild, the more he realized just how much she looked like his son.

The moment you two walked in the house, baby girl asleep in your arms, you saw Ward stepping out from his office. You knew by the look in his eyes, he knew what happened only 45 minutes before. “Put the baby down and you two come talk to me.” He said sternly. Rafe scoffed, rolling his blue eyes as you quickly headed upstairs to lay your daughter down in her crib.

Walking into the immaculate office, you saw Ward sitting at his desk and your mother sitting on the couch with a heavy glass of wine in hand. Rafe and you took a seat in the empty chairs, waiting for your step-father to start speaking.

“So I got a call from the owner of the Island Club about an incident. Know anything about that?” He asked, question pointing more towards Rafe.

You cowered your heard down, waiting for your step-brother to reply. Rafe wasn’t going to let this go easy and you could feel the fight brewing.

“Don’t know what you are talking about.” Rafe said with a shrug to his shoulders, acting as if nothing happened.

You happened to glance over at your mother, who gave you a look of disappointment, even more so than she did when she found out you were pregnant.

“No idea? Okay how about, you being the father to that baby up there. That ring a bell?” Ward asked, standing up, anger seething through him. He didn’t want to aim it towards you, not knowing if his son had solely did this from being fucked in the head, at least that’s how Ward saw him.

“Okay and so what if it’s true? She’s my step-sister.” Rafe said, his voice rising as his father always brought out the worst in him no matter how hard he tried.

“Rafe..” Rose said, eyes in shock.

You felt the tears falling, knowing that the secret the two of you had been keeping was over. There wasn’t any hiding it anymore. The one person you found comfort in no matter how messed up this situation was, was Rafe. He may have been an asshole, his head may no always been on straight, but he would quite literally kill for you and more importantly that baby girl.

“Your step-sister that you’ve known since you were 10! Did you do something without her knowing? Get her pregnant on purpose? Because you like to fuck everything up in this family!” Ward yelled. He looked at you and back to Rafe, taking breath to calm himself down. “As far as I’m concerned. I can no longer have the two of you in my home. As much as I love you Y/N, this is something that can’t be undone and is an embarrassment to the Cameron name.”

It was as if, you didn’t know who your mother was anymore. Your heart breaking at the fact of losing the family you had been with since you were only nine years old. Looking at Rafe, he silently nodded to you, giving you reassurance that you had him and the two of you would raise your baby girl away from the island that was toxic.

[iz-star]

About Zayne's possesiveness...

With Sylus calling us "kitten" all the time, I've seen Sylus mains being torn between if they like being called that or not, for some It's totally fine but for others is such a mood killer and I'm not a Sylus main but I'd be the second one for sure.

Then I remembered that Zayne once mentioned that I was his "favorite kitty" or that I was "his pet..." something like that? And I was like "where did he say that and why didn't I cringe when he said that? Maybe this is the effect of love (xD) maybe I understand Sylus mains better? I need to find out"

Then I remembered:

If Zayne is my personal Mr Kitty Cat, then I don't mind being his favorite kitty, we were basically the ones that initiated it and even put cat ears on him... So yeah, the whole vibe of this is totally different from Sylus' pet names.

However... He calling us "his pet" was a whole different story:

The way he lets his possesiveness slide for a second? You know, all of the guys are possesive somehow, they only show it differently, in this case, Zayne's possesiveness doesn't show too often cause he's aware that to be possesive of something is to allow yourself to show your weakness, to implicitly say "This person has a great power over my feelings or my behaviour bc It's mine..." that's why he stops himself when he says "Don't leave it with anyone else or I'll—" and then changes the approach "Do you want to leave it with someone else?"

And as the player, it leaves us hanging... Thinking "What would you do, Dr Zayne? What are you willing to do?"

We have to think about these questions from the perspective of Zayne's persona, of the kind of guy he is. We know the other guys have a bounty and have committed crimes/ killed people, while Zayne has done none of that and it's on the completely opposite side of things: He's a well respected doctor, has saved tons of lifes, is obssesed about saving people, a workaholic cause he knows the world needs him. The worst thing he's done (as far as we know) is that he had to kill his friend William when he was turning into a Wanderer and even so, it was William the one who asked this of him after Zayne desperately tried to save him against all odds.

Zayne is not someone who would even think of hurt others easily, even if he's quite able to cause others harm, just as much as the other LIs, but all versions of Zayne have in common that they're really kind. Sure, Dawnbreaker is a serial killer but we know he doesn't kill people out of joy but instead mercy. Sure, Foreseer was quite severe when MC first met him but It's not as if she didn't deserve it when she literally intruded his place, lied to him and tried to steal his powers (lmao) and we know he was wary of Astra all the time so he didn't want anyone to enter the Tower for their own sake and he paid with his life the price to keep MC alive. Master of Fate was supposed to kill MC but instead he chose to seal her powers to give her another chance to keep on living the life she told him she wanted to live (even without him).

So it's interesting to think what would Zayne do for MC? Us? If he decides to be selfish and fulfill his desires, what would he do? It seemed like he was even questioning himself, showing too much of what he's not used to show (And now with SS we just know how much he needs MC/us).

So that's why he changes the approach. His feelings are involved in this sudden and unexpected show of weaknesses, so he asks us "Do you want to leave it with someone else?" Now asking us about what we feel but not quite giving us time to reply.

The way he calls us "his pet" comes now more like he's gained control of his feelings again and is calling us that as a punishment for making him go through this unwanted jealousy but he's so ambiguous and smooth about it, that is giving "if It's too much don't take it" vibes because he neither confirms nor denies that he was talking about us.

Zayne is the kind of guy that would spoil you and shows his love through different ways: taking care of you and your health, acts of service, affirmation, sparing time for you, having you as his top priority, always offering his time/ himself (Have you notice how Zayne says "My free time is all yours, do with it what you want" while Sylus says "Who is your free time for if not me? " or how Xavier asks "Do you want to sleep with me?" while Zayne asks "Do you want me to sleep with you?"), he gives and gives (and lord knows how much he's tried to change and be more careful about his words and actions so they don't come across as alof, bc yes, Zayne hates to be mistaken as a heartless person) but of course he's also willing to do all that as long as you work for it and earn it too and if you misbehave, he makes you pay for it and knows how to give you a firm "No" when you try to backpedal or get away with it.

He knows (or tries) to balance his depth love by spoiling you while at the same time letting you know that nothing comes for free (even if he'd give it for free). Balance is a word that fits him best in all the aspects of his life, especially when it comes about love. He shows his feelings if you show them too (he both says "I never thought I'd have only one person in my eyes" accepting you're the only thing he sees and he also says "I want to be the only one in your eyes and for you to be mine" expressing what he desires too in a soft way) and when he shows his possesiveness, he's letting himself to lose this balance and he probably knows that you are the only thing that could make him completely lose this balance. His evol seems to be an analogy of this behavior, Zayne is always hyperaware that he could lose control of it at any given time and maybe, when it comes about his feelings, does he feel the same? ("It wouldn't be love if I could control it"). He's scared of hurting you but is he scared of the things he'd do for you?

Especially bc, all his other lifes and the current Zayne have always shown the opposite of possesiveness, they sacrifice themselves and their happiness for your own happiness and your well being. When MC asks Foreseer Zayne "Didn't you say you don't want to lose me again?" his literal reply was "I will never lose you as long as you're alive and well" and when Master of Fate was supposed to kill MC, he chose to seal her powers away even if it also meant to sacrifice his presence in her life (even after he promissed that they would always be together and promissed not to leave her and desired fulfill those promises). Dawnbreaker's only solace is MC, he only yearns for her and nothing else, a powerful quote they say in his anecdotes is "It's better to die with clarity than living as a walking corpse" referencing to ppl that turns into Wanderers but this quote applies to Zayne too, in the sense that he's basically a walking corpse cause he doesn't live his own life. MC is the only thing that keeps him alive somehow and she's not even in his own world. Dr Zayne says "When you and the world wake up, I hope we do not meet again" bc he knows this is the best for you.

All Zayne's are filled with pent up yearning, want, need, desire, to a point It's seems it is about to overflow and he does a goddam good work at hiding it; no wonder why Dr Zayne is taking all the available chances with MC, but even he seems to be aware that this won't last forever and even in such period of time, why he seems so afraid to loose up... lose control of himself? Especially cause Dr Zayne seems to be the balance amongst all Zayne's, he's not as dark and depressive as Dawnbreaker, nor as cold and severe as Foreseer, nor as happy and carefree as Master of Fate but at the same time holds a little of all of that.

So the question here is, how a showcase of the loss of this balance would be? For now we can only imagine and come up with assumptions but I'm quite curious to see it playing fully ingame, you know? Altho I'm not sure if I'd like it if it comes at the cost of him getting hurt again.