#hes not wrong lmao i just have no defense for it if having a vague parasocial relationship with a man living it up

[lupismaris]

Tickets to Glass Onion secured gonna see Daniel Craig be queer and gloriously weird in comfy loungers with vip cocktail service because my bf wants to provide me with "self care" before i go back to work Monday

[beartitled]

I think Normal Bill is almost just as intelligent and knowledgeable as his canon counterpart, since he had more time to focus on science and such instead of chaos and despair and.. just about every problem in the book.

Can he also still see through trees and The All Seeing Eye on the dollar bill?

Does he have all the powers of Canon Bill?

How does he feel about Ford and Dipper?

What would he think if he saw his parents?

And.. how does he feel about all the.. imagery of him throughout the world? (Remember how Ford had a fucking golden statue of him? And with the cave paintings.. and the dollar bill, the pyramids have a vague eye shape on them (since canonically they were statues of Bill until the top hat and hands fell off) The Eye Of Providence being a sign for God.. yeah it’s REALLY suspicious, I don’t think he really trusts the Pines family at this point, because they are horrible at hiding things, you don’t need to be an all seeing god to know that.

(Sorry for the long rant, I just love this AU)

Don’t apologise for a rant 🫵 I love rants, my brain just can’t comprehend them sometimes 💥

And also aww 🥹 glad you enjoy this AU ❤️

Okay lemme try answering 👏

First yes, absolutely, he’s a smart boi

His energy is just in the nerd stuff now, instead of chaotic insane vibes he has in the canon

Yea and I think he considers it normal lmao

“Wait what do you mean you don’t see through trees Mabel? Like.. I thought everyone did??”

He’s a smart boi, but he is oblivious in some instances

Not sure about all powers, but some for sure

Also this Bill walks everywhere, bc he never saw humans fly and didn’t consider trying (maybe he saw one human attempt it and decided to never try it himself 💀)

I honestly not really sure

Again not my initial idea, but remember one person saying that Bill would have some intrusive thoughts about Pines time to time, not understanding where they come from and probably feeling really guilty about those

But ultimately I think he would consider them a semi family to him

If y’all want a more detailed answer

He’s probably the closest to Mabel, bc she’s a forgiving person and treats Bill as a new person

This version of Bill would be in a girls squad and hang out with them during sleepovers (he’s a gossip girl come on 💅)

Dipper would still be cautious around Bill (as well as Ford), but would get used to him over time forming some sort of brotherly bond

Also Bill would ship Dipper and Pacifica, occasionally playing cupid for them during Dipper crushing on Wendy

He saw an opportunity to tease Dipper (and he said it would be a good enemies to lovers trope)

When people said “Stan would’ve taken that shot” yea, he would kill the child

But perhaps after seeing Mabel being buds with Bill, he just might be a little less defensive

It could both ways really: either Stan would be completely against Bill, but grow to tolerate his presence with occasional (semi)friendly bullying; or Stan would double down and just actively trying to kick Bill out

Either way they would have some sort of rivalry for sure

He would be buds with Soos and Wendy, just chilling with em on the occasion

And the last but not least Ford

He would be the most paranoid and cautious, not because he’s afraid of Bill like Dipper, but because Ford is afraid of “trigger the old Bill inside”

He and Dipper had an agreement to hide all possible information that could potentially remind Bill about his old self (all the Pines agreed to it too to some extent)

Were they successful in it? Who’s to say

Bill obliviousness saved em a bunch of times

And to address the elephant in the room: no, Billford does not exist in this AU

*booing can be heard across the fandom space* NO, YOU’RE NOT GETTING OLD MAN YAOI ON THIS ONE

🍅💥🐻‍❄️ *tiny bear screaming*

Anyway

I just don’t think it would be fitting in that particular scenario

Don’t get me wrong I like canon Billford (I love the memes and the fact that they are implied to be canon exes is hilarious), but canon Billford

This particular AU just makes the situation incredibly specific 💥

I tried to imagine a scenario where Billford could happen (like i dunno, they gave baby Bill to Oracle and then met his “normal” version)

But with the direction in which this AU went, I think it’s best to leave Ford and Bill with a platonic/parental relationship

To be fair it would be incredibly weird to raise your ex in a baby form 😭💥

But I never actually considered to continue this AU originally, so um 💥💥

I think Ford would just eventually start treating Bill like Mabel: he’s a new person now and to keep that new person undamaged, you need to keep a lot of information hidden (for everyone’s and Bill’s own sake)

This version of Bill and Ford would get along, bc they would both be nerds

(btw Bill’s design is similar to Ford, bc this is how nerds look 🤓💅/silly) (but you can adapt it in a way that Ford just had an influence on Bill, they have a family nerd look™️)

I’m still not sure what kind of time paradox shenanigans the went through to raise Bill tho 💥

This

Honestly I think it would be hilarious if he just thought it was some different guy

“A triangle… with one eye… what if.. naaaah I don’t have a top-hat”

Anyway thank u for the ask ❤️ hope it was fun to read through💥

[capcavan]

okay anon from that one ask you reblogged i think i might have worded that a little wrong. its less about prettying him up or making fun content of him and more of a lot of people with few select exceptions either ignoring riko as a character because hes a bad person (majority) or ignoring rikos actions (which i have seen, though not often at all). i personally love your riko content, youre like one of the only people in the aftg fandom not afraid to do anything with him and explore his character. and this is not an attack on you or how you see riko but i wish more people took the time to analyze him. i have so many thoughts about riko that i’m afraid to say in case of backlash, but i really wish there was more content only how other people see him too. i mean i get it hes a bad person and people dont like him but hes also a character. he isnt real riko moriyama will not jump you if you talk about him. sorry if that doesnt make sense when i sent that ask it was not about you at all

hi! please do not take my messages as some attempt at discourse i just believe that topics like this should not be left vague because different people put different amount of attachment to details [me for example due to my history in this fandom i do get pretty sensitive when vague things are said this way so i might have taken the general conversation personally but hey i am defensive of my little menace! someone has to! ] I'm glad you enjoy my stuff! > i have so many thoughts about riko that i’m afraid to say in case of backlash Feel free to spam my inbox or i can add you on discord dm? i love talking about the lil bitch!!!! >or ignoring riko's actions (which i have seen, though not often at all) see this is the thing i am interested in because i OBSESSIVELY follow riko content , i spend DAYS brushing riko moriyama tag and digging up bunch of old abandoned blogs and i just never saw someone make claims like this! (id know i woudl def try to make friend with them lmao) I'm sorry if my approach to this case is dismissive maybe i really missed it but it kind of just feels like generalization of people saying ,, he did nothing wrong" as a meme , nobody who can read would actually genuinely believe this But please let me just say up front - i like talking about things and having discussion its not argument drama or discourse okay? no hard feelings anywhere , i really really am happy to be proved wrong (bc this means there is riko content somewhere out there i had not found yet GIVE ME )

[llycaons]

ep44 (2/2): not that I like him but the antagonism towards su she seems a little classist

why did wwx terrify children for fun lol. more importantly, why did wen ning go along with it? he seemed intentionally intimidating. I don't think he wants to be seen that way

anyway wwx bemoaning the fact that he can't strike fear into children's hearts is so funny. like he doesn't want to be blamed for everything going wrong but he DOES want to be seen and respected and maybe even feared for his power. and actually I get that. he is super powerful and he's been disrespected by the kids for weeks

oh yeah, again they have the same skin tone BUT lwj is shinier. must have something to do with the lighting or makeup

omg my favorite minor character, Female Cultivator With Dirt on Her Face. you can tell she's an antagonist because of the. because of the dirt

aww I forgot this. good old ozz, standing up for wwx. jgy's plan was quite bad honestly because if he starts shit and blames wwx then all wwx has to do is show up to prove his innocence by saving the kids. saving children is the number one way to rehabilitate your image. also sect leader ouyang's hanfu is tight as fuck

CLASSIC NHS LINE

who tf is this and why is he named. who cares. would be funnier if we wasn't named

aw sweet we got a visual of lwj standing with wwx against the world. well, another one

SWEET hanfu my leige

wwx shouting and pointing at the jins: THERE CAN'T BE ANYONE ELSE!!! LOOK!!! THEY'RE THE BAD GUYS!!!

this section of the show always felt kind of awkward and pointless to me. just a lot of people yelling and wwx not liking it very much and also lwj is there

uh oh. that wwx expression...oof. when you still really care about someone even though they've hurt you really badly and don't want anything to do with you and you feel guilty for what happened between you but you also can't stand how they treat you. and they're bleeding in front of you. anyway he jumps in to protect him

lqr too! lwj jumps right in as defense. I don't think his relationship with lqr is actually too complex. lwj doesn't deal well in vagueness or uncertainty. he defied his uncle and will do so again, and certainly disagrees with him about things, but he still respects him and cares about him as an elder and as his uncle

and look...a wen saving them. the irony

locked in a room with no spiritual energy and the yiling laozu, who says this to you. everyone's worst nightmare

nhs is bleeding?! I don't know if we've EVER seen that. he keeps out of danger pretty well

also, he's pushing the narrative into wwx's hands.

THIS TO SU SHE 😭 he's so polite too with his 'allow me to ask a question' then so rude even if unintentionally lmao

rly embodying the teacher role here.

lwj's love language is acts of violence, as petty a misuse of power it may be. you know that quote from bottoms? it's so them

lqr either likes ljy or hates ss because ljy did NOT quiet down about criticizing the su sect and he's right next to lqr and only lsz chastised him

okay I do not like su she but the fact that people hate him for 'copying the lans' is so fucking stupid. if he wants to found his own sect, what else is he going to do? he has the skills the lans taught him, of course that's his basis. in criticizing him so harshly, the lans come off as petty and really insecure for a rich and established clan. and this in the screenshot...THEY started in on HIM. the man was just defending himself. as soon as he complains about the disrespect, suddenly they're all 'well we have to be civil!' I swear this series makes really good point about classism with wwx but then it turns around and uncritically reinforces gentry hatred of lower classes by making characters like su she jealous antagonists who just aren't good enough to respect

anywayt. I always liked how wwx turns his back on everyone to ask lwj something. he gets all quiet and intimate

ohhh neat idiom

I love wwx verbally demolishing antagonists so much. he's that bitch

this is smart tho. like this is what I'm saying. granted betraying the sect was bad but he was a teenager and like he's shat on and disrespected for his entire life for not being very talented or original I guess when I KNOW there's gotta be untalented cultivators in other wealthy sects that still have a place in the cultivation world. but like he's SMART he figured that this would work and it DID.

here's nhs pushing the narrative for wwx again, helpfully verbalizing his thought process so everyone else gets it quicker.

personal highlights:

lwj's smiles in the very beginning of this episode were so nice

mm family <3

wwx's radiant gorgeous smile when looking at toys with lwj

wwx's moment remembering the wens, and his decision to let the past go with that beautiful scene of letting the dirt pour out

Lady with Dirt on Her Face my favorite minor antagonist

all the gathered cultivators' sick threads

wwx's 'why don't we have a chat' and his polite rudeness and his teaching voice

nhs nudging things along

everyone like 'noooo don't be divisive' once su she starts insulting the lans after first BEING insulted by them. come on guys

[m1ckeyb3rry]

NO BECAUSE WHERE IS THE REBOOT??? My devastation when I heard that the anime wouldn’t continue because it was just manga promo…please….i need MORE

Wait a mint green would actually be so nice…lowk id love to see a sea foam green too or a light red…(this sounds odd but i do mean a light red and not pink LMAOO kinda like a slightly salmon leaning color? But not sendous LOL) also Aryus color being champagne gold always cracks me up because it really just looks like light brown

Bro fr has the entire App Store downloaded I just know it….like literally any game to kill time im sure he’s tried at least once

LMAOO I’ll be hyped up either way those two are also my favs…I love misadventures LMFAO sprinkling in a little crack with the story

SHSHS YEAH like just look at Raichi on BM he’s lucky he even got an offer…I think generally defenders just don’t stand out esp given the premise of bllk existing to create the best striker…having aiku on Ubers definitely helped spotlight the defensive characters though, probably since he’s already got an established rep as defender!

I’m very excited to see who hehe…also WOAH LMAOO Wait that is tiny by Mira standards (this is a crazy thing to say because usually I see 1k and go omfg that’s so long) your “shorter” fics slap too though I remember reading your Isagi work too and thinking it was so cute like I don’t even like Isagi but that was a good read

LMAOOO I wonder what inspo will strike you for those vague prompts…let’s see what tiktok throws you this time

I love being updated on your requests/inbox but OMG GAGAMARU??? You’ve truly become the side character safe haven omg watch just watch you’re gonna get another crazy side character next (imagine Nanase or kurona req next)

Ok pause wait 1) WHOS THE CENSORED NAME?? *** ****** the only thing I could think of was itoshi sae/rin but there’s no way right….unless I counted wrong or misread and this isn’t BLLK related 2) ok hear me out imagine Oliver aiku 5th wingman….maybe he along w yuki are the ones who finally make it work because aiku pushes y/n to do the boldest shit LMAO

- Karasu anon

I NEED MORE SHINAH omg in the early days of this blog it was ALWAYS shinah themed LMAOAAO it was so cute too!! i like the nagi theme more plus bllk is life but one day i’ll probably go back to the shinah theme just because he’s one of my og bfs HAHAH been in love w him for years 😩

YES it’s hilarious that aryu is supposedly to be all flashy and glam but he just looks beige which is such a typically boring color 😭 and yes like a peachy salmony color would be really fun!! and ooh seafoam that would be GORG i’m hoping the rest of the ng11 have cool color auras because so far sae and lorenzo have been cool (kaiser is boring but the blue aura + gold hair kinda eats so he gets a pass) okay wait also i just checked the wiki and LORENZO has black hair plus purple eyes?? so my prayers have been answered but not necessarily in the form of a character i actually want 😰

nagi’s just like me fr (downloads random puzzle games that come up in adds while he’s on different puzzle games, is obsessed with them for a week, and then never plays them again unless his wifi is out or something)

no like between chigiri and barou you cannot go wrong both are so good in opposite ways LMAOAO it’ll be fun regardless!! i’m excited although i have a couple of other things to clear out before i get to those

POOR RAICHI even like hiori and karasu are honestly pretty low!! given how much they’ve been contributing 😰 and yeah aiku having an established rep as a defender + lorenzo literally being a defensive ng11 definitely means ubers defense has way more of a chance to shine than on other teams imo!!

i participate in fic inflation 😩 like after you write a 41k word one shot everything is going to seem short compared to that (although this one is a bit of a special case hehe you’ll see i’m almost done with it!!) and YESS the isagi fics 🥹 pls i can’t even lie though i think my fav part of the isagi fics is the nagi chigiri bachira cameo at the end where they’re bribing nagi LMAOO

oh TRUST i will be scrolling tik tok before writing those two hehe saving them until the end because they have the highest likelihood of getting extensive 😭 nah but imagine i write a MASSIVE kiyora fic and literally nobody even knows who bro is i think that’ll be like a bllk fandom hall of fame moment or smth

YESS GAGAMARU basically i had posted before starting my rewatch that i wondered what character i’d end up liking this time (spoiler alert nagi) and someone commented hoping it was gagamaru because they wanted more content for him…so i was like well it wasn’t gagamaru BUT please req for him because i am happy to provide content!! LMAOAO omg kurona req idek what i’d write for it he gives me such little sibling vibes…trust i’d make it work though

unfortunately…it was in fact…rin itoshi…EEK i also saw a rlly good sae one and for a moment i was sososo scared i was going to become an itoshi lover but then like a savior my fyp blessed me with the most glorious scrumptious AMAZING barou edit followed by a magnificent nagi edit and THEN an otoya + aiku edit (to womanizer hehe i was lowkey giggling at it but out of humor as much as like “omg otoya 🤭”) so i think we are safe…at least i hope we are…

LMAOOO omg aiku and yukimiya team up??? i was thinking that for aiku to work as a problematic but funny bestie the only love interests that would make sense are barou, yukimiya, karasu, and sae because those are the only ones in his relative age group (shidou and kaiser too but kaiser is so far removed from aiku it wouldn’t make sense and shidou + aiku just doesn’t feel right in my mind)…wait actually okay you know what would be SO funny is like a shy reader who ends up working with otoya on a project or something and develops a fat crush on him so she goes to aiku for help in matching otoya’s 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 and it’s just him giving her the WORST advice meanwhile otoya also has a crush on her so he goes to karasu and yukimiya for help transforming into a lover boy 😭 so we end up with the reader being like a massive bitch and playing hard to get meanwhile otoya is bringing her flowers and curating playlists for her FJKSDNSKAK craziest possible dynamic

[waloeders]

i have a bunch of fun tibids relating to that fic (so spoilers below for my own fic i guess??? and also ff16 spoilers LMAO) but i dont wanna clog dash so. readmore my beloved<3

this turned into an info dump abt so many things. enjoy?

- ok so fun fact #1: the use of Lord vs lord throughout is directly relating to how much barnabas' belief in ultima as a god/the god is wavering

- similarly, the use of mythos vs logos. in another fic set before this one that ive yet to post 🙈, clive (aka mythos, aka logos) makes a point to barnabas abt being logos not mythos, which ultima affirms. despite this, barnabas is still clinging to clive being mythos bc if hes logos, all the scripture n beliefs he has are wrong

- barnabas often mimics ultimas phrasings and sayings, even in game, including the use of Eikon names rather than the persons yaknow. actual name. e.g. shiva vs jill. kosmos vs ryder. mythos/logos vs clive etc etc

- barnabas n sleipnir have a. weird semi-spiritual bond. this is mostly hc'd from me bc we never see it super directly or stated in game/story? its implied that a dominant can sense when their egi is killed but not really expanded upon. where benedikta (garudas dominant) can sense her egi n refers to them as 'sisters', her egi arent nearly as human or as, well, sentient/alive as sleipnir is.

- im also taking the stance of sleipnir being originally an extension of barnabas (+odin) that he made to protect himself from his grief/loneliness. but over the ~50yrs theyve been alive + together, hes grown into his own being and does have traits/personality that barny didnt give him/doesnt have himself. hes very much his own person but cant die (permanently) unless barnabas does. he can also duplicate himself, change some parts of his appearance and still has this bond with barnabas that allows them to vaguely sense where the other is, what theyre doing and better interpret what the other wants/means

- im takin it to be theyve been in the worlds longest qpr while never actually really admitting it to each other. this is both good and bad for them (mostly bad for the world, they enable each other)

- fun fact!! canonically sleipnir and ultima never interact in game. sleipnir only ever interacts with some ppl from kanver at the start, hugo (titan), benedikta (garuda), barnabas ofc and clive. dude is not getting out and about nearly enough. but interestingly as an egi, he can be (physically) very far from where barnabas is! its also kind of implied that he can prime into his horse form without needing barnabas as odin?

- this fic does have the least amount of kosmos introspective. wack. hes just going through the motions, okay? its not like hes been kidnapped n threatened by a god-like being before. their ass is not thinking 💀💀

- ultima uses this weird combo of we/us but when on the defensive, it speaks of i/me. im assuming this is relating to ultima being multiple beings of ultima-species merged into one hivemind-like being? and this idea/notion of being part of this larger whole but when afraid, feeling alone and like one being again. i also tend to use it over he for it partly bc i impart kosmos' perspective a lil n he views ultima that way and partly bc there was like 4 different he/him users there. guys. pls. invite some women to ur fights its not very feminism of u

- barnabas's mother is never named in anything. she doesnt even have voice lines when ultima turns into her in the game, despite it being able to mimic benedikta and hugo (also dead)??? like she is the epitome of fridged i feel so bad for her. but context is she is killed when barny is 18 for worshipping ultima n thats what causes him to prime as odin for the first time and create sleipnir (as an egi/person)

- but barny is the first dominant of odin literally ever so its like. sleipnir is part of odin (the eikon) and in my mind first shows up/is created as a guy when barnabas unprimes that first time. and theyve just stuck together ever since

- speaking of. sleipnir does worship ultima too, but largely bc barnabas does. they share a lot of beliefs abt ultima + mankind (esp. since its been them two for again, like 50yrs) but he draws the line at ultima hurting barnabas, hes sleipnir's #1 priority over anything or anyone else

- sleipnir literally has one line to kosmos in this and hes bullying them i 💀💀😭😭 it made me laugh so much i was like 100% he would watch and just throw in the occasional comment, the only reason he didnt comment in game when clive fights that thing outside hugos palace is bc he didnt want clive to know he was there i KNOW im right

- final sleipnir tibit is actually that in canon we never see if he has a semi-primed form? its assumed not since hes an egi, not a dominant but i decided that his armoured look is his semi-prime since thats true of barnabas + we dont see sleipnir change into his armour. its true to me

- ultima actually slips that kosmos is kin (as in also an ultima) in this but somehow none of the gang notice! com'on guys 😭

- the golden aether!!!!! aether is always blue in canon and i wanted it so that when kosmos uses aether/magick a) it to look cool b) for kosmos (the ultima being) to look distinct from ultima (hivemind)

- technically speaking. ultima is a non corporeal being, it doesn't have a physical body buuut since zantetsuken "severs" some shit in ur atoms, it works

- it is kosmos that teleports them away, not barnabas! prior to this, clive absorbed odin and altho ive not mentioned it yet, kosmos n logos have a weird connection - the more eikons clive absorbs, the stronger kosmos gets (as he is also getting the eikons). in a similar way to mythos og needing to absorb eikons so that ultima can possess clive long enough to cast the spell for the new world w/o dying, kosmos (the ultima) needs the eikons to both get strong (theyre like half dead prior to this) and to awaken (which is what happens in this fic). so yeah, he is the one using odins rift slip, not barny! :3

theres a bunch more stuff abt kosmos i wanna talk abt but also. i wanna write it out in fic form bc theres so much that happens its a slap

i have like at least 3 shitposts i wanna make regarding the fic too that are basically like.

---

barny: i would never betray you, my lord!

kosmos, glowing gold less than 5mins later: hi

barny: ....fuck.

---

sleipnir: can we sick this guy PLEASE can we please sick this guy can we have a fight can we have a figh- {etc}

---

clive: we got back as soon as we could jill, which way did they go??

kosmos n barnabas: *reappear in the hideaway after having the most traumatic, life-altering, religion-breaking moments of their lives*

cid: found them! :3 <- guy abt to get the hide n seek championship award

[moemoemammon]

Omg that one you did of Mc asking the boys to do things they love was sooooo adorable. How about one with the brothers of when Mc calls him his name instead of the usual 'sweatheart' 'darling' 'love' or 'honey'. I love watching those tiktoks when the boys get all concerned or scared lol.

"Honey?" You NEVER Call Me That!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

Lucifer isn't a man who fears the tone of a person's voice. And yet something about yours made him... tense.

Not that he'll show it, though. So you can expect a mellow reaction as he approaches you, brow raised like YOU did something.

Got his arms crossed over his chest in that pompous way of his, but you can see the slightest crease in his brow. You're giving this man even more grey hairs

He doesn't speak at first, but now he's going over every plan he's ever made with you. Did he forget something? Your birthday? A date?? No, there's no way he would. His schedule was always memorized perfectly....hmm........

"What is it, MC? I'm assuming there's something you'd like to talk to me about? Judging from the tone of your voice, I'm assuming something's happened? If it's something I've done, I'd like to hear it."

Mammon

IMMEDIATE FEAR

Hearing the singsong tone of your voice when you coo out a sweet "Honey~" is enough to send shivers down his spine. What do you wANT 🔫

VERY CAUTIOUSLY approaches you, peeking around the corner like a scared puppy. He doesn't think anything good can come from this...

Also ready to fight though? It's his defense mechanism. He's already got his fists up like he’d ever use em against you tho

"Wh-whatever it is, I ain't have any part in it! Beel's the one that was eye in' your leftovers, and all I said was that you probably didn't want em anymore! I didn't think he’d- .... wait, that's not what ya wanted..? Then ignore everythin' I just said!"

Levi

His gamer instinct tells him something is wrong-

Did he forget to send you AP? Did you guys have a raid scheduled that he missed out on?? AH! DID HE ACCIDENTALLY CALL YOU RURI-CHAN AGAIN?!?!

Please don't do this to him Levi is a sea creechur made out of anxiety you know this pl- wait a minute he saw this trending on tiktok

You FOOL.. the sickening sweetness of your tone has NO EFFECT!!! His poison resistance is through the roof!!!

"Ha! You thought I wouldn't see through your normie tactics?! I never forget an internet trend!" "....But you know, I didn't really hate it when you called me that-"

Satan

Immune to your foolishness

Honestly would just respond with 'yes'? because there's nothing about your tone that fazes him.

You fool... Satan is the MASTER of vague yet sinister one-word threats. It's practically his entire personality.

He still thinks it's funny that you're trying to get a reaction out of him, but you'll have to try harder than that. There's no way tiny baby MC can scare him ✨

"If you really want to scare someone, why don't you try that on Mammon? Don't you think his reaction will be funny? Or better yet, you could do the 'MAMMOOONNN' thing Lucifer does. Would you like me to record it?"

Asmo

"Yes, love~?"

Also immune. It's not that he doesn't think you're scary, but-... well.. actually, he probably doesn't think you're scary.

Then again, is there anyone Asmo takes seriously?? Probably not lmao-

He'll pinch your cheeks and spin you around the room, completely disregarding the sappy tone in your voice. Is there any reason you'd be mad at him anyway? You can't be angry with a man THIS gorgeous!

"Did you miss me that much? Oooh, I bet you did! That's why you had to use that tone with me, isn't it? There there, I'll give you lots of love!❤️"

Beel

You made him INHALE a potato chip and now he's choking.

When he recovers, he's looking at you quizzically. Then the caution starts to set in, and now he's recounting every sin he's ever committed against you.

There's so much he's done that he hasn't told you about, but that was before he cared about you! You can't be mad, right? Er.. you're not, right??

wait what did Mammon tell you whatever it is it's not true he can explain-

"Mammon tricked me. He told me you wouldn't mind if I ate your leftovers, so I did. Then he took a photo of me and told me he’d use it as blackmail. I didn't know, so I'll treat you to lunch, and-"

Belphie

How you managed to make him wake up is unknown, but the way you said 'honey~' made Belphie flinch awake like he was having a nightmare

He's looking around like a scared toddler and finally spots YOU, standing in his doorway

It takes him a minute to process what's going on, but now he's AWAKE.

You're not really mad, right? He knows you don't normally call him that, so he must've done something. But how is that possible if he's been in the attic all day??

"...Huh? What're you angry with me for? I was sleeping here all day, so- Wait... don't tell me I forgot something important today? Did we have a date??"

[early20sfailingplenty]

what do you think the rules are for living with the boys in Ambrose? esp for a non-killer family member, or at least is someone who only kills in defense?

I feel like Bo would probably make them up as they go along but I'd love to see him try to write a list of them as reminders lmao

Nonnie, I love your thinking! I agree that Bo would definitely make them up as he goes along; first to be a shithead but then as you become more integral to his and his brothers’ lives, he starts to make them more seriously as a safety feature.

TW: canon typical darkness, reader held against their will initially & this is reflected in the rules, morally grey reader.

No pronouns or coded language, “you” & Y/N used.

This can be read as romantic with any or all Sinclairs, or platonic all around. I left it super vague so anyone can read & enjoy.

-

Okay, picture this list written on a piece of paper which Bo ripped out of Vincent’s sketchbook (one not very often used and one which Vincent was the least reluctant towards having defaced like this), and it’s written with a mixture of pencil and pen; some words are written with both as the utensils have ran out of ink or needed to be sharpened and thus chucked unceremoniously over Bo’s shoulder in his haste to grab something else to write with. He’s scrawled the rule down hurriedly every time and the lines of text tend to veer downwards because the paper isn’t lined. Rules are the top are the earliest ones and the ones down the bottom are newer additions; he’s written it as you’ve been in Ambrose longer and longer.

No leavin’ Ambrose - lookin’ ‘round is fine but go ‘round that bend an’ m’brothers an’ I will just drag you back. Try it - see if we don’t.

No leavin' the sight of the brother y're wit' - unless y'gotta take a leak or somethin'. Tell 'him or leave a note but don't go off wit'out sayin' anythin'.

If we tell ya' to stay somewhere, you STAY. No excuses. S'fer yer' own safety when we got tourists in town. Need you outta th'way so we don't get distracted.

You pull your own weight 'round here. Don't care how. But pull it. I catch you slackin' off, you go back to the chair. Bo's or Vincent's, doesn't matter. Gets bad enough? Lester'll put ya' in the pit. See if he doesn't.

You only kill when you gotta', so keep. out. of the way. Do NOT leave yer' room, do NOT come lookin' 'til we come get you. You stay where we put you.

If you gotta' kill, use anything. Saucepan. A knife. A fuckin' PILLOW. Whatever you can find. Don't ruin their face or remove body parts; clean kill if you can. Vincent prefers it.

Meal times are fixed. Don't like what I make? Cook yer'self something. You in Ambrose, you eat wit' us, like it or not.

Film nights are fixed. No skipping. Don't think I won't make you stay. You think I can't make another one in the living room like I got in m'garage? Wrong.

Everyone's got green eyes so you hug one? You hug the others. Includes hugging Jonesy; that means we each get a hug, too. Don't like it? Don't fuckin' touch anyone, then, and we won't have a problem.

One Sinclair goes down, we all go down. All or none. Live, together, die together. THAT MEANS YOU TOO, Y/N. Y'RE A SINCLAIR, NOW. DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT TWICE.

Them's the rules, Y/N. Like or lump it, I'on care.

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

[prometheanglory]

FUYVUVUY i may uh...went a lil overboard so if you wanna skip some honestly?UNDERSTABLE LMAO BUT 💢🥞🍰🌙🕷️🌹🙉🙈🙊🌏🪤✂️🎡🎀♥️💙💔 for um Lola,guts n maybe hahaha chase def not bcuz I'm a simp for two n the other one UUUUH ANYWAY SORRY IF IS A LOT KISSY HAVE A GOOD DAY ON UR SPECIAL DAY

THANK YOU CHOCO FOR THE BDAY WISHES I KISS YOUR KIND FACE. IM MORE THAN HAPPY TO FEED U ON TJIS FINE (belated now that im posting it) DAY >:)

also this got so long but i wanfed to answer it all bc im impulsive . HOPEFULLY I DIDNT FORGET ANY

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

chase and guts have the very similar issue of locking people out of their lives and just? never actually telling ppl what’s up with them if smth’s the matter at all. chase is 10x more secretive and defensive than guts, but guts is a lot more abrasive when it comes to getting people off his tail.

chase is also a very prolific ‘ghoster’ of sorts — has a very prolific tendency to just disappear for a while out of nowhere, be it a few hours or a few days in some cases. never really tells people what he was doing or where he went, if he even went anywhere or if he was avoiding/ignoring them… and doesn’t even recognize that it’s kinda rude to randomly drop ppl for extended periods at a time and to come waltzing back in (if ever). by recognize i mean ‘acknowledge that hes in the wrong’ and not ‘does not know he’s wrong’

guts on the other hand — while not much of a ghoster in the same sense chase is, he is pretty aggressively antisocial. he doesn’t hang out, usually declines all invitations, never initiates or reciprocates attempts to maintain relationships, and has a tendency to actively push people out of his life.

lola is by far, one of the most touchy-feely and strong-handed ppl in my roster. she has a bit of a tendency to muscle people into doing things, and an even worse tendency of talking over others. she can be a bit of a bully when it comes to her jokes and can overstep quite a few personal boundaries when it comes down to it. it’s not quite out of a place of immaturity or naivety, so it comes off as pretty malicious.

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

chase -> not much of a sweets guy, but he likes the classic american breakfast platter as a rare treat. you know like. pancakes, sausage, eggs, syrup, bacon. nice.

guts -> feel like he doesn’t eat breakfast much as a default, but baked eggs with sausage…… or any leftovers from the night before.

lola -> A SWEETS LOVER…. LOVER OF ALL THINGS DECADENT AS A TREAT…… she likes having soapaipilla or anything sugary.

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

chase -> something in my heart is telling me he’s a carrot cake man and i cannot ignore its call…!! he doesn’t like super heavy cakes/super sweet ones, he’s good with the basics. not a fan of icecream cakes.

guts -> if it’s a cake, he’s gonna eat it. no preference at all, but he rly enjoys the sweeter side of things. maybe go easy on the frosting bc it’s a bit of a mess, but he’ll still eat it regardless.

lola -> SOMETHING FRUITY BUT NOT TOO HEAVY ON THE SWEETNESS… a little cinnamon-y with a fruit like mango or strawberry. maybe a lemon cake. she likes tres lèches but she’s also always down for a good fruit cheesecake.

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

two out of three of these guys aren’t very ‘grand’ in their ambitions, and the other one purposefully leaves his wish as vague as possible. can you guess who. (it’s chase)

chase -> he wants to pave a better future, a guaranteed future. be it for himself, his friends, his family, or just other people in a situation like him — he wants something More than what they have now. the question of ‘how far he’s willing to go’ is entirely dependent on how far he can get without being questioned by the people close to him.

guts -> a very general desire to exist quietly and without much thought or disturbance. he doesn’t have that much gusto in him to ensure it happens, but he does what he can. it’s unpleasant if it won’t happen, but he really can’t fight that hard.

lola -> live big, live splendidly 😌 that’s all that matters. there’s no need to overexert yourself for grandeur when the fun exists on all corners! she’ll go as far as she feels bothered to, it’s really not that serious. don’t get so butthurt about it!

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

chase -> grossed out by maggots, and gets a bit paranoid when his door is neither locked or closed. not rly scared of much else.

guts -> nervous about most matters related to bureaucracy. like… paperwork? permits? registering and keeping track of shit…? dear lord. also he’s mildly claustrophobic.

lola -> super horrific and gross body injury stuff, but minor bloody things are whatever. doesn’t like being chased, zombies, and or ghosts. doesn’t mind other horror clichés much.

🌹 ROSE - do they like valentines day? have they been confessed to before? have they confessed to anyone before?

chase -> very indifferent to valentines day. he has been confessed to before (for valentines day), but that was in elementary school and it didn’t really matter much to him. being confessed to nowadays is way more uncommon. hasn’t confessed to anyone before, but that’s also bc he hasn’t rly felt the need to before.

guts -> also indifferent to valentines day, but NRC days wise he dreads it a bit. he’s gonna be swamped on that day for work…. but it’s not like he has a life, so why not. he’s been flirted with before, but not incredibly seriously. also has never asked anyone out just bc its not rly his place go ask.

lola -> a lover of most things pink and heart-shaped, she must love valentines day like it is her flesh and blood! there’s so much cute stuff going on around those days, how could you hate it? lola gets asked out on an infrequent basis, but that’s also largely because lola tends to make the first move anytime someone catches her eye.

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

chase -> would prefer that ppl don’t catch onto some of his more meticulous or malicious patterns, bc it’s not like he’s going out of his way to be despicable but he knows some parts of himself are definitely not . healthy. he’d prefer for the ppl who he cares about to not have to interact with that aspect of him.

guts -> tbh. ppl have already seen the worst parts of him and he’s pretty sure his current self is no better, so there’s nothing rly to hide about himself.

lola -> nothing really…? she’s not really ashamed of herself and thinks most, if not all, parts of herself are pretty admirable, so why tuck it away? take a gander at will 😎

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

chase -> the funny thing about him is that he’ll stay quiet even about the things he cares about. it’s not like being outspoken was ever a requirement for him to do the things he wanted to do. he’s always done his best work behind closed doors.

guts -> the middleman between these two fr. he’ll take a lot of bullshit, but he’s always been very particular of where he stakes himself — and even if it’s not the most vocal protest, guts tries his best to put himself between ‘civilian’ types (even if they are ‘troublemakers’) and certain settings he knows they don’t belong in. there’s nothing to be gained from picking fights with either side.

lola -> it could be the slightest inconvenience and lola wouldn’t take it sitting down. not to say she’d flip a table over a minor annoyance, but she’s a lady of snide comments and more provocations that are always itching to come to the surface.

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

ALL THREE OF THEM HAVE CONCERNINGLY THICK SKIN. ITS A BIT DIFFICULT TO THINK OF SMTH THAT’D STRIKE A REALLY FOUL CHORD IN THEM BUT…

chase -> ITS GOTTA BE SMTH THAT RLY STRIPS HIM OF HIS DIGNITY… not that he’d burst a vein over being called a hick or broke, but i think he’d get pretty pissed off if someone, in any way, talks down on the circumstances of his birth or his foster home history.

guts -> not that he’ll get furious and start throwing shit and having an emo meltdown or anything if anyone calls him this (disclaimer pt 2) but it’s still pretty shit for guts if anyone can recognize him as a finn. and it’s even deeper shit if they call him brutus.

lola -> not that it’s hurtful, but it does piss her off (disclaimer pt 3)— she has never hated anything more than being called baby girl and everything adjacent to it. call her a scavenger or whatever, that’s fine but for the love of god….! WHO IS KITTEN? ANGEL BABY? DOLL? DADDY’S PRINCESS….????? IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE HER??? TO BE LOLA????😨😨😨😨😨🤢🤮🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮

🌏 EARTH - will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

chase -> no. not really. in terms of semantics, i guess he comes close to it but…? at the end of the day, pretty resound no. as important as they may be to him, they could never be so important that they could take from him. it’s an easy decision for him, but i feel some would wish it was a little harder if he rly did care that much :,-)

guts -> maybe? he’s not capable enough to give them the entire world, but he could try and give them his world. not like he’s rly been doing much with it — and it’s not exactly like he’s not used to giving his shit up. it’s a bit of a rough choice, it’s not like he’s a masochist with a metaphorical death wish, but he doesn’t really have much else outside of them, so why not.

lola -> not the world, no way! it’s not like she doesn’t care about them enough to not sacrifice smth big but like, does she rly care thaaaaaat much? the world is kinda important yknow, she needs her life to have room for improvement too — it’s not going to be all for her s/o.

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

chase -> never the type to act recklessly or go in blind — if he’s doing something dangerous then it’s entirely bc he has something to gain. a favor, some sort of leverage… proving a point is viable for him too, but he still needs something directly out of it. he has people he cares about for sure, people he’d get into some deal of trouble for but to go out of his way to risk himself needs a little bit more than just his affection.

guts -> i mean, he’s always been a bit of a meatshield. for azul, for the finns, for… whoever is convincing enough or just happens fo be in the right place. not the type to go prancing into danger unknowingly, but if he feels like someone’s got leverage over him then he’s obligated to go in wherever they’re telling him to go.

lola -> well she’s not always the sharpest tool in the shed so it’s not like waltzing into danger is foreign to her. party girls live as party girls do…. and keeping an eye out for things is tough! she’ll typically go in for her own material gain, more often than not. food to eat, cash in her pocket, fun in her brain — whatever! self-preservation is only important when it’s a situation she can’t guarantee some means of escape or surrender.

✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

chase -> the moment he deems them a lost cause is when he’s cutting them out immediately. the exact definition of ‘lost cause’ is pretty flexible, but more often than not — it means that they’re not likely to believe him or follow his lead anymore; they overstepped and either got too close to a grisly truth about him of tried too hard to get that truth out of him; and or he just doesn’t think they’re worth any effort investing in. he seems to let go easily enough and in most cases, he’s content with just brushing it under the rug. but he never forgets, and he probably was lying about forgiving.

guts -> a bit hard for guts to cut people out if they’re in close with him. it’s coming largely from a place of cowardice, that he really doesn’t trust himself enough to think he’s doing the right thing even if he’s been mistreated prior. it’d really take a lot of damage for guts to really feel that he should run, but that damage would also have to extend to other people for him to feel more secure in his choice of bailing. he doesn’t let go easily, he’s always a bit too wary of them and what they’ve done after he gets out — and it’ll likely stay like that for good long while.

lola -> she leaves the moment she knows they don’t respect her enough. it’s fine to not take her so seriously, it’s fine to treat her like the irresponsible one — but when the jokes get a little too close to treating her like she’s expendable, there’s gonna be a problem. she’ll sort it out if she can, but more often than not she’s fine with burning bridges. she doesn’t cling much onto the thought after she cuts them out, but she neither forgives nor forgets.

🎡 FERRIS WHEEL - are they someone who wants to kiss at the top of the ferris wheel?

chase -> no, not really. not much of a kissing or pda guy…. and doesn’t really get why people think the ferris wheel is so special, but he’s fine with enjoying the ferris wheel views.

guts -> no… he’s way more bashful than chase about pda. but also, why at the top of the ferris wheel. was any other spot not romantic enough. also it’s a bit too small for him to feel comfortable.

lola -> omg yeth 😋 she’s down for anything corny or new — she’d kiss at the peak of a roller coaster if she got the chance. she thinks it’s cute! pda isn’t a must for her, but you gotta at least cooperate with her demands (of give her a kiss rn)

🎀 RIBBON - how would they fit into other worlds / aus? what aus would you like to try out? what fictional world would they fit / not fit into?

I HAVE SO MANY AUS…. SO MANY….. and tbh, my method of swapping to fit charas into aus just preserves the core of their character so that they can fit pretty much anywhere.

i don’t have any hard no’s for aus aside from hargle pooter, but i’m a bitch for any and all aus outside of that B)

aus i think would be fun to explore for all of them… i’ll give two for now :-)

wild west:

chase -> cattle rustler (former miner) — breaking your back for the big man with nothing to gain but black in your lungs…. maybe it’ll push men towards less savory deals.

guts -> carriage driver (former gunslinger) — the highlife of crime isn’t really for everyone… maybe it’s time to pass the reigns off to someone else and just do some sight-seeing… (or just getting roped into more people’s trouble)

lola -> bounty hunter (former bronco rider) — the exhilaration of bucking in the same old circle can sometimes be rekindled by breaking out entirely and dedicating your life to roughhousing for a hearty, unpromised buck.

soul eater:

chase -> rifle meister: a skilled marksman with a startlingly wide range of abilities within demon weapons… however he proves to be an incredibly capricious soul to resonate with (swinging between unremarkable and totally incompatible) and being an even worse partner, his hardheadedness often getting in the way. exhibits some mastery of soul menace. despite his talents, he keeps an astoundingly low profile within the academy.

guts -> demon machine gun: a cumbersome and destructive weapon, but pretty simple when you actually think about it. shocking to most, he’s not a challenge to synchronize with at all (accredited to his person’s stability and predictability) — however outside of presented circumstances required for partnerships, he’s not that chummy. a bit of a problem child in regards to his grades and performance, but he’s def not the worst weapon out there at least.

lola -> bat meister: a simple and unruly weapon for a straightforward gal ❤️ another fellow user of soul menace, however she’s a lot less lethal than chase is… however she makes up for a lot of that through quick wits and a great deal of force (and technique, don’t worry). pretty adaptable for a meister, however it’s easy to fall out of sync with her if ur not paying enough attention to her beat.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

chase -> service, quality time

guts -> service, gift-giving

lola -> affirmation, physical touch

💙 BLUE HEART - do they miss their s/o easily? how do they act when their s/o isn't around?

chase -> no not really 🥲 he acts pretty much the same when his partner isn’t around — regardless of whether he’s with ppl he likes or not, the change isn’t all that grand aside from some minor shift in how sociable he is? aka if he’s with his s/o then he’s a little more willing to entertain their conversations, but if it’s anyone else then it’s more like talking to a scarecrow.

guts -> not easily, but he can get worried? if they’re away for a time-frame longer than like… 2 weeks, then he has a mild tendency to zone out briefly before he snaps back (and slips back in), but after that 3 weeks mark he should be largely functional and normal again. he’s the same as chase in terms of being unsociable and mildly intimidating, except he’s much more… awkward without his s/o as a buffer.

lola -> sure, if you could call it missing them? as affectionate as she is, she’s not incredibly clingy. she’s curious about them, maybe misses a few hugs here and there, and of course she’s keeping them in her thoughts, but if they’re not gonna be missing for months on end or something… what loss is there to mourn exactly? modern technology exists, she could just call them! she’s exactly the same without her s/o around, however you can bet that there isn’t a single chance she’ll skip out on mentioning her s/o.

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

chase -> let him down: he’s not the type to entrust his faith so freely, even if he should trust them. it hurts all the more when someone close to him begins to falter and fall through the bare minimum of expectations he set on them. it’s nothing to make him break down in tears but it makes him shut them out a lot harsher than before.

guts -> sell him out: ok this ones a bit hard to pinpoint but for the most part he does Not care what happens to him to a certain point but the moment it registers that he’s been used (and is still being used) and is considered expendable. smth abt that, he still prolly won’t find the heart to leave but it still hurts him. smth abt how the finn family has ways of making its rounds back into his life even if his partner is entirely unaffiliated :,)

lola -> demean her: she’s got tough skin but a line that she refuses to have crossed is in regards to her personhood. she is not to be coerced, devalued, or shrunken! she’ll take plenty of pointed jokes, but the moment those ‘jokes’ get way too comfortable about how dumb or useless she is, or how bratty or bimbo-ish she is — she’s gonna have a few choice words with her partner about respect ^_^ (🤭)

[emwritesfootball]

I Want You | Dominic Calvert-Lewin

Word Count: 2,051

A/N: Yet another piece for @footballffbarbiex's On The Big Screen Challenge. Since I'm on the midseason finale of the episode of Grey's Anatomy that this is based off of, I figured I'd post this now. This is based off of Jackson and April, the scenes from the season 9 finale and season 10 episode 12, altered for the football world. I've had this sitting in my Docs since 1 January lmao. Enjoy xx

- - -

The gasp of the crowd of almost 40,000 at Goodison Park was simultaneous in the 38th minute when Dom was taken down by the opposition’s defense right as he was about to score. The tackle had been brutal and uncalled for, earning the centreback a straight red card from the referee while Dom stayed on the ground.

As if sensing catastrophe the medics and physio were on the pitch almost immediately. You held your breath, one hand clutching the fabric of the Everton jersey you wore while your other squeezed Lucas Digne’s hand. Your boyfriend tried to soothe you as best he could, but you were distraught. Dom was clearly in pain and clearly injured, and you couldn’t do a damn thing but watch him get carried off on a stretcher.

“I have to go to him,” you muttered, but Lucas stopped you.

“He’ll be fine, Chérie,” Lucas said, his voice low as his thumb rubbed circles over the back of your hand. “You know we’ve got the best medical team - they’re gonna take real good care of Dom, okay?”

“Mmhmm.” You nodded, biting down on your bottom lip to quell your unspoken fears.

Your mind was reeling as Richarlison took Dom’s place on the pitch, your stomach sick with nervousness for Dom. When you’d first started playing for the women’s team, Dominic had been your sidekick; he’d shown you around the stadium as well as the surrounding city. It hadn’t been long before you were falling for him, the two of you hooking up after an intense friendly between the men’s and women’s teams.

Over time, you’d started to fall for him, your friends-with-benefits relationship no longer enough for your heart. It had all gone wrong after a pregnancy scare - Dom telling you he was all in and saying he’d marry you and the two of you would raise the kid together. When you’d found out you weren’t pregnant and told him that he no longer had to worry about getting married, Dom had ended things then and there, both of you hurt for different reasons.

Soon after, he started “dating” (sleeping with) one of the physios. You hadn’t had any intention of getting involved with his teammate, but Lucas had come into your life as a friend while you’d been with Dom and things progressed after your break up. Now, you were engaged to Lucas, with a wedding coming up in less than six months - after an incredibly public proposal that you couldn’t say no to - but there was a part of your heart that still yearned for Dom.

The second Lucas let go of your hand, you were up out of your seat, flashing your pass as you raced through the tunnels at Goodison Park until you finally managed to locate Dom. The ambulance was silent while its lights flashed and you knew you didn’t have much time. Emergency personnel were loading him onto the ambulance and you were reacting within seconds.

“DOMINIC!” you shouted, panic racing through you. His name felt foreign on your tongue - you tried not to utter it if you could help it - but in that moment, it was all you had.

“Miss, you’re going to have to stand back,” one of the EMTs said, putting his hands on your shoulders.

The tears started to fall right then and you couldn’t stop them. “I...I need to see him. He’s my husband!” You stammered out the words in-between sobs, barely aware when the medic let you go and you rushed into the ambulance, the door slamming behind you as it lurched forward and started to race to the nearest hospital. You tried your best to stay out of the way while the medics worked, fighting back tears with every concerned look or sentence they shared with each other. Dom looked out of it and you hoped he’d been put on some painkillers, especially with the state of his arm. You hoped and prayed that his arm would be the worst of it, but you couldn’t be sure. You took his good hand in both of yours, pressing a kiss to the back of it as you whispered, “It’s okay, bubs. I’m here.”

***

People didn’t start arriving until almost two hours later, Dom’s girlfriend included. You didn’t know how many tears you’d cried in that timespan, your body physically exhausted from the day’s events. Lucas immediately found you in the waiting area, pulling you into a hug. “I was so worried about you, Chérie,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“S-Sorry,” you stuttered, feeling a new wave of tears coming on. “I just...I panicked and managed to convince them to let me ride in the ambulance with Dom and I…”

“It’s okay,” Lucas said, taking your face in his hands. “I’m glad Dom had you by his side.” Of course Lucas knew about your history with Dom but you’d always reassured him that he was the one you wanted and not Dom. Now, you weren’t so sure.

You snuck into Dom’s room right before visiting hours were set to end for the night. Lucas was waiting for you in the car park, warming up the car. A part of you felt guilty for what you were about to do, but after today you couldn’t stay silent.

Relief flooded you when you saw him sitting upright on the hospital bed, shirtless, his arm in a sling. The relief quickly faded, however, and all the other emotions you’d bottled up for the last six hours came bubbling up.

“What the hell, Dom?!” You screamed, rushing toward him. Tears were falling hard and fast as you shoved him, the nurse in the room who was checking his vitals came rushing over to stand between the two of you. “You could’ve died!” Sure, it was a little over-dramatic, but you had honestly thought you were going to lose him in the moment when he’d been down for over five minutes on the pitch.

The nurse calmed you down, not wanting to cause a scene. You didn’t either, but your emotions were so heightened it was almost like you were back in the ambulance scared out of your mind. “I’m fine, I swear,” you said, reassuring her when your breathing had slowed and you were starting to think properly.

“Okay,” she said, nodding and making her way towards the door. She turned to Dom, saying, “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

Dom gave her a grateful smile, turning his attention to you. “Don’t,” he said, his voice weary. “Whatever it is that’s buggin’ you, just keep it to yourself, alright?”

You froze, staring at him. Your mind was racing again and you were so consumed with flashbacks of him lying motionless on the pitch that you couldn't speak for a few moments. Dom stared back, lost. He vaguely remembered your presence in the back of the ambulance but up until this moment, he had been so sure that he’d just dreamed you up, the painkillers playing tricks on his mind.

You took a deep breath, needing all the air you could get in order to say what you wanted to say. “I want you...Dominic.” His name was barely a whisper on your lips, but Dom heard you as if you’d screamed it from the rooftops. You ran a hand through your hair, your voice breaking as you repeated the phrase. “I want you.” Your voice wavered on the last word and Dom wasn’t sure what he was going to do.

He said your name, disbelief colouring his tone, but you cut him off.

“I haven’t been fair to you, I know,” you began, stepping towards him until you were standing at the end of his hospital bed, “And I’ve-I’ve really hurt you-”

“You’re getting married,” Dominic said slowly, unsure if he was trying to convince you or himself of the reality the two of you were facing.

It was like you hadn’t heard him. “When I saw you lying there on the pitch after that collision and I thought you were gone, I-”

“You’re getting married.” He said it again, this time with more conviction.

You dried your tears, your resolve returning. When you spoke next, your words shocked both of you. “Unless you can give me a reason not to.”

Dom stared at you, unable to say anything. He internally weighed his options. A few months ago, getting married to you was all he could think about - now, he wasn’t so sure. The two of you had been through unbelievable hurdles in your relationship, but you were engaged to another man who also happened to be one of Dom’s teammates and Dom knew he couldn’t stand by and fuck up the team dynamic or your relationship with Lucas.

***

Ultimately, he’d said nothing that night and the two of you hadn’t spoken about it since. You continued planning your wedding to Lucas while maintaining a stilted version of a friendship with Dom, which was how Dom had ended up in the congregation at your wedding.

“Give them the strength to commit their love to one another. Unshakeable through any storm; unbreakable in the face of any stress; a promise we simply refuse to break.” The pastor spoke, but Dominic barely heard any of it, except when he said, “And you, YN and Lucas’s closest friends and family, are here today to bear witness to their union. Will you promise to love and support their marriage in all the days to come? If so, please respond ‘we will’.”

Everyone responded, a chorus of “We will,” filling the quaint chapel.

Dominic didn't know what to do. He was acutely aware of his physio girlfriend by his side, but even more so aware of the fact that if he didn’t do something right now, he would lose you to his teammate forever. In that moment, nothing else mattered but his love for you and the love that he knew that you had for him.

The pastor continued to speak, but Dom heard nothing. He leaned in to his girlfriend, unsure what to say. “I, uh-” he started, pausing.

“What?” She asked, looking at him with curiosity that quickly turned into understanding.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m happy to be here today to be able to do this for you. I-” The pastor paused mid-sentence as Dominic stood up, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

You and Lucas were holding hands, your backs still to him. Finally, both of you turned to look at the commotion, shock written all over your face as your gaze connected with Dom’s. He flushed, giving the room a nervous smile before sitting back down.

The pastor chuckled nervously and for a brief moment, Dom wondered if he’d ever had anyone stop a wedding before. “YN and Lucas, I have known the two of you for quite some time and I’m happy to be here today-” he started again, and that’s when Dom knew he had to say something.

Dom took a deep breath, his mind made up.

“I love you,” he said, his voice deep and sure as he stood up for the second time. “I always have.”

You stared back at him, your eyes wide. If you were being honest, a part of you had dreamed about a moment like this - Dominic standing up and professing his love for you - but you hadn’t been prepared for it to actually happen.

Dom continued, “I love everything about you. Even the things I don’t like, I love.” You could feel Lucas fuming next to you. “And I want you with me.” Everyone was looking around in disbelief, but it was like nobody else existed but you and Dom in this moment. “I love you and I think that you love me, too.” He paused, his voice wavering. “Do you?”

You could feel Lucas’s eyes on you; your family’s, too, but there was only one person in the world you wanted right now and it wasn’t the man at the altar next to you.

“I do,” you said, your gaze fixed on Dom. “I do,” you repeated, stepping down off the altar and running towards the man who had been your whole world for longer than you cared to admit.

[freddiekluger]

I am all ears for your season 3 cap's big gay awakening ideas 👀👀

alright, you asked so sit down and strap in

before we get started- a few details are recycled/repurposed from earlier headcanons/ask answers (characterisation is like that), and i came up with all this a couple weeks back, so any overlap with other peoples suggestions is totally unintentional! i’ve just been finding the energy to properly write them up as originally i riffed them with a friend late at night lmao

the captain: homo evolution

introduction (scroll down if you’re not bothered for the hardcore analysis/logic)

this isn’t necessarily what i think WILL happen as much as how i would do it. over the past two seasons of Ghosts, we’ve seen the captain’s main character arc being centred around him loosening up, from learning to value mike, alison, and the other ghosts more as equals than soldiers/means to an end to the season 2 finale, where cap is not only expressing an interest in flowers and fashion (distinctly un-soldierly pursuits) but joining the party and other men (the direct opposite of About Last Night, in which cap bah humbugs partying/’gay abandon’ and is left speechless by the mere presence of a mostly naked man). that being said, the captain is still the captain: his character is still centred around this need for rules and structure and he still finds his identity in the archetypal WW2 military man- all of his incremental moves towards a more ‘modern’ perspective have ultimately been made possible because, like Ben said on twitter, the captain isn’t CONSCIOUSLY aware that he’s gay. he has the underlying feeling that he’s different, he knows of his tendency to attach himself to specific men and form incredibly close bonds (and, as demonstrated by his attempts to hide them, is at least somewhat aware that that’s not the norm), but in his mind he’s written that off as merely “not being a ladies man”. 

the captain is from the 1940s- it’s one thing for him to see and be supportive of a same-gender wedding in present day England where gay=legal unions, marketed doritos, and homophobia being still present but generally frowned upon, and another thing entirely for him to have to apply it to himself. we’ve already seen that the captain appears to be stuck in the past more than any of the other ghosts (”the war is over!” “is it, alison? is it?”- he also references the past more frequently than most of the others), and in his past sodomite gay=punishable by imprisonment and chemical castration, back alley hookups, and the constant threat of blackmail and violence. obviously, despite all this, there was a vibrant underground queer history taking place in England during this time & not all of the above is accurate, but it’s what cap would have seen, and the England of the early 20th century is denoted as being a particularly brutal period for lgbtq+ folks (the destruction of the first world war exacerbated rage and frustration, and lgbtq+ people weren’t the only gorup to end up on the receiving end of that, but i digress). this is basiclly just a really long way of me saying that the captain compartmentalising to that degree was, and to some extent is, a survival mechanism. confronting his homoseuxality means confronting what it means for a 1940s man to be a dreaded homosexual, and all of that directly conflicts with the image of ‘the Captain’ he’s built in his mind. 

we’ve seen this in Redding Weddy, where the captain is aware that Havers means/meant more to him than was normal for a captain/2ic relationship (he does attempts to hide his affection- “i shall miss you, Havers. by which of course i mean we shall miss you “he left me, i mean he left for the front”), but is never able to fully verbalise WHY, and it only takes a series of increasingly dramatic prompts before he will even mention the idea of Havers, let alone begin to articulate their relationship. 

all this just goes to prove that for the captain to properly ‘come out’, there needs to be an external inciting incident- he could easily have gone on shadowing attractive men whenever they visit and avoiding interrogating those feelings for another seventy years if Button house remained without alison and mike. 

while at least julian, pat, and robin have noticed that the cap is not the most heteroseual of men (they’re the only ghosts who have visibly reacted when cap says gay shit), they all appear to have decided to just not mention it, which makes alison and mike our wildcards. not only has alison’s ability to see and communicate with the ghosts already connected them more to the modern world than they ever have been, alison, and mike by extension, has a personal stake in the wellbeing/general growth of the ghosts. happy ghosts=happy house, and like it or not some of them are even beginning to become friends. [i probably didn’t need to write all this like explaining my decisions, but i think figuring out the motivations behind everyon just develops the flavour and lets us have a sexy and accurate headcanon]

so,

the episode

while the captain might not consciously know he’s a fruit (derogatory), he is well and truly terrible at concealing the thirst (it’s not his fault things just keep slipping out!)- i love the idea of just having a supercut near the beginning of the episode that just shows that the captain has gotten even GAYER since last season, with slip ups becoming almost a daily occurence, but it’s getting to the point where it’s actually becoming a serious hazard. last week, he was supposed to be looking out for alison while attempted to put up blinds, but one of mike’s friends (who was over ‘helping out’, which mostly meant eating chips and covering himself in paint) walked through the room with his shirt off and paint handprints on the seat of his shorts, distracting the captain from realising that alison’s stepladder was about to give way. 

with the increased presence of non elderly men in the house (the previous owner wasn’t exactly the life of the party) the captain is getting gayer and gayer, but he’s also becoming more and more defensive, while his brisk demeanour and need for control regresses to much more of a season 1 state (a subconscious attempt to regain control as things get close to spilling over). it’s not the first time his repression has almost slipped, he spent much of his life surrounded by soldiers after all, but with no war and no corporeal body he’s got almost nothing to distract himself from it. needless to say, between the safety hazards and the almost agressive defensiveness which derails any interaction, something needs to be done about the captain.

throughout the week, alison tries to find the opportune time to talk to the captain about what’s going on with him for everyone’s sake, but cap keeps masterfully evading any ‘deep’ talk with willful misunderstanding or just straight up dismissal (which at times gets a bit rude), and alison really doesn’t have the time- her and mike are caught up with managing the first official room redecoration and butting heads with a passive agressive delivery driver. insert general shenangigans, but at some point the captain’s whole “accidentally sabotage something by being distracted and then attack anyone who dares even look at him the wrong way afterwards” act causes alison to exasperatedly blurt out “we all know you’re gay! we get it! you like men! you can drop the act!”. there’s no malice or anything but, as we know, when alison gets run ragged things don’t tend to come out quite right.

everything falls silent (and mike is vaguely confused), and the captain just looks like a deer in headlights. as alison catches her breath, pat pipes up with a “it’s alright, cap, we don’t mind- now we can focus on the task at hand”. the captain sort of regains his composure and once again attempts to brush them all off with a scoff and a “i haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. if any of us is distracted, i-it’s... kitty!” but it’s easy to tell he looks rattled. most of his words don’t come out right, and after trying to blame kitty for their failures (she just had the unfortunate luck of being in his line of sight), he ends up doing an awkward little walk away which quickly turns into a full on sprint. mike, having finished processing alison yelling about gay shit to the air and kind of pieced together what must have happened awkwardly chimes in with “it’s okay to be gay!”- alison just pats him on the back (”yeah no he’s gone, mike.” “gone?” “sprinted away.” “huh”)

the episode continues with the captain flat out avoiding alison and the other ghosts to an almost funny extent as the other plots continue. it takes a bit for alison to realise why the captain reacted so badly (in fact, it’s actually mike who remembers that he’s 1940s ghost- “he’s probably just scared and taking it out on everyone else”). while thomas and julian vote for leaving the captain be so they can have some peace and quiet, fanny/pat/alison/robin decide someone needs to talk to him (fanny surprised everyone but after all, she got murdered because her husband had to live in secrecy- if talking to the captain will avert any further crises, she’s happy to make sure someone else does it for her). kitty’s still upset about being singled out, but she knows better than anyone that sometimes all you need is a friend- cue realisation no. 2.

with the captain avoiding everyone, sending in a regular emissary isn’t going to work. they need to find the least threatening person possible, with no agenda or history other than being there to help (a friend, if you will)- cue everyone looking at mike.

a quick offscreen briefing later, we see mike wandering out to the field where the captain has exiled himself- remember that up until this point, the captain was still in conscious denial about his sexuality, so being forced to confront it head on (and finding out that apparently everyone ‘knew’, which for cap would feel like an intimate invasion of privacy/forced vulnerability) would rattle him to the point of self-exile- he might not be able to run from his sexuality, but he can run from people. the thing is, mike can’t see or hear the ghosts, which means the captain can’t be frightened off by any expectations (mike actually talks to/at cap while facing completely the wrong direction, but consdiering the above point, this works rather well). 

the captain was alternating between pacing, fiddling with his swagger stick, and sitting, but he unconsciously stands to attention as mike wanders over. he’s used to mike not being able to see them, so mike asking to sit down takes him by surprise, disrupting his instinct to flee again.

mike begins a little awkwardly (”mind if i sit?” *silence* “...i’m just gonna assume that’s a no. or is it a yes? yeah anyways i’m just gonna sit. so... heard you’ve been going through a rough patch”), and the captain almost scoffs and wanders off, but something about the clumsy earnestness in mike’s voice, the captain’s vulnerable state, and the fact that it’s been so long since cap has had anyone actually check in on him, that he stays put. he keeps standing and staring away from button house, and mike keeps speaking to the empty air to his left, and alison and the ghosts stay hidden behind their bush a few metres away, but at least the captain is listening. for the first time in weeks, he’s not on the offensive.

“i can’t actually see or hear you, so i’m just gonna talk and assume you’re listening. alison mentioned you have a habit of running away but, um, maybe don’t do that please?”

“my mate daniel's gay. uh, homosexual, you’d probably say- did you have gay when you were alive? did it just mean happy? anyway, he didn’t come out- that means tell people- until he left high school. we all kind of guessed it, the other kids at school gave him a real tough time for it, but he just squashed it down. couldn’t imagine that all the things people were shouting at him were true, so he ignored it. he’s doing good now though. got married to his husband last year, currently runs a bookshop. so that’s nice.”

it goes quiet for a bit. the captain hasn’t moved, and we’re still only seeing shots of him from the back, but there’s a little less tension in his stance than there was before.  mike clears his throat before continuing.

“i’m guessing you’re probably pretty scared right now. i would be- i mean not that you should be, you shouldn’t, but coming from your... situation, i’m guessing it’d be hard. no one’s saying you have to be anything you’re not ready to be, but lots of things that are scary are actually not bad. airplanes, skydiving, clowns- well, not the clown from that movie, but he gives clowns a bad rep- i’m sure there are plenty of lovely clowns out in the world. still give me the creeps though.” the captain makes a captain-y noise of assent about the clown comment- he never liked them either. 

mike glances over to the bush where alison and the ghosts were attempting to listen in (they could only catch every few words- mary got particularly concerned about why mike had referenced clowns), and the captain still hasn’t run away, so alison motions for mike to keep going. he starts telling the captain a story from his uni days. it’s got nothing to do with the captain, or being gay, or self-acceptance, or anything like that- it’s just a standard tale of comedic but inventive problem solving. the captain sits himself down next to mike (to his right, avoiding mike’s gaze, and still staring away from button house), muttering that his legs are getting a bit tired. he sits there for a while, and mike just talks. sometimes he circles back to the gay thing, sometimes he just asks the captain questions, before remembering that he can’t actually hear any answer, but then he keeps asking anyway, thinking that cap might need to talk. he doesn’t at first, but slowly he offers up a word or two. and then a sentence, and then maybe more- mike will accidentally cut the captain off, or leave the silence to long, but the captain doesn’t mind (it’s a nice reminder that nothing he says will actually go on to have consequence). at one point, mike gets out his phone to show the captain photos of his mate daniel and daniel's husband, not just their wedding day but casual photos- couples drinks with him and alison, dinners at each other's places, the bookshop. 

alison and the other ghosts have long gone, and the sun is just about to sink below the horizon by the time the captain stands himself back up with the traditional knee crack and grunt. he looks at mike and nods, giving him a simple thank you before turning to walk (not run) back to button house, head held slightly higher and looking more relaxed than he’s been all episode. the captain has still got a lot to figure out, but at least it’s a start.

[i love the dramatic ending but the implication is that alison has to go and fetch mike bc he has no ideas cap has left and is prepared to keep going lol- also by no means is cap suddenly going to ditch his characterisation and become a yas kween gay right away, i didn’t go into the aftermath bc this is alreayd fucking LONG but let me know if you want follow up????}

EDIT: i've rbed this with the follow up/part 2 attached!

EDIT 2, much later: switched out mike's reference to his 'younger brother' to a school friend, since the christmas special confirmed mike only has sisters and we're all about accuracy here

[ncssian]

i wrote another oneshot to avoid doing my homework these are kind of addictive lmao

---

"and what do you deserve?"

nessian modern au; 1,441 words

mostly fluff but also cassian being defensive of nesta and getting mad at the ic

Nesta had been asleep for so long that Cassian could no longer feel his legs. He refused to shift underneath her, scared of waking her up, and contented himself with running his fingers through her hair instead.

She'd come into the living room of their holiday cabin about an hour earlier and crawled atop him without any words, her only intention that of taking a nap. She was dressed in her lavender flannel nightgown, the one that made her look like a little girl again, claiming she couldn't sleep without him.

Now, as he stared down at her too-perfect face, furrowed even in sleep, the insecurities he kept hidden so well from her rushed to the forefront of his thoughts.

She had always been so beautiful—not just in her looks, which were the first thing most people noticed, but in her heart and mind. Cassian loved those the most. Like a boy studying the inner workings of a clocktower, he loved taking his time to figure out how she thought and dreamed and felt of things. What he discovered was always surprising, each unveiled fact about her a gift. And yet, it could never escape his notice that the only reason he was surprised by Nesta was because he could never know her. Not fully and completely in the way she deserved, at least. He would always be asking more questions, always stumble just a little when it came to navigating her mind.

Cassian felt the overwhelming urge to voice these insecurities aloud.

"Did you know," he started softly, hesitantly, "my biggest fear is that one day you'll find someone who understands you better than me?"

He was met with silence, of course.

"And the worst part is," he continued, "I don't know if I'd be selfless enough to be happy for you if that day ever came. Because even when you clearly deserve more than me, I can't help but hate whoever is out there that could make you happier than I do."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Nesta used Cassian's chest to push herself into a sitting position.

Cassian jerked in surprise, not expecting Nesta to have woken up at his whispers.

"I—" he stuttered. After some moments of struggling, he finally said, "It's the truth."

Nesta's sharp eyes narrowed on Cassian in that way they did whenever he was about to be proven thoroughly wrong. "Did you know when we first got together, my sister and your friends took me aside and less-than-vaguely told me to leave you because I would only weigh you down and ruin your life?" She said it all in one rushed breath like she'd been challenged to a debate.

Cassian nearly sat upright, but Nesta's hands kept him pinned in place. "They did what?" Rage, fiery and directionless, flooded him in a hot rush. That was part-lie; his fury did have a direction. "Why is this the first I'm hearing of this?"

"Because it's an embarrassing thing to share." Nesta wasn't backing down on this. "And at the beginning of our relationship, I didn't exactly want to give you ideas."

Cassian was hurt, hurt and offended that she could believe those words even for a second. He was even more offended that his own family were the perpetrators.

He pretended to be calm for Nesta's sake. "Who exactly said that to you?" He forced an even tone. "I want names."

Nesta shrugged. "Feyre, Rhys, Amren..." she trailed off. "They're not the point. The point is I know they're wrong, even if I don't always feel like it." She shrugged again, but this time an ounce of self-consciousness slipped under her brave demeanor. "So stop pretending like you invented insecurities," her voice quickly turned berating, "because that mini-monologue might have been the dumbest shit I've ever heard."

Beneath his lingering anger, Cassian's chest warmed. Nesta only called him an idiot when she was feeling especially fierce in her affections. Harsh reprimands were her aggressive way of letting people know she cared, and though it was one of the first things he'd ever found out and wholly accepted about her, some people still refused to see the difference between her declarations of love and her declarations of hate.

Some people like his own friends and family.

"Okay," Cassian relented. "Let's assume for a moment that I was wrong, and there's no one out there that could possibly be better for you than me."

"It's not an assumption." Nesta pushed her shoulders back. "You were wrong."

She was so convincing, Cassian nearly believed her. Maybe with time he would.

"That still leaves what you told me. And even if you're okay with it now, I'm not."

"I don't expect you to be," Nesta said. "But I don't want you thinking about other people when this weekend is for us. I didn't drive all the way out to a mountain in the middle of Nowhere, Colorado so you could worry about them."

Nesta's refusal to say their names told him enough about how she felt on the matter. But also, she was right. The last thing Cassian wanted to do was think about anything that wasn't Nesta. Especially not when she was on top of him in that stupid nightgown.

"Alright," he gave in. "What would you rather I worry about, Nesta?" His hands skimmed the hem of the gown that had gotten bunched up around her bare knees.

Her gaze turned predatory, and in the next moment her nightgown fell to the floor.

Cassian didn't think about much after that.

***

Nesta and Cassian were in the middle of cooking dinner later that night when Cassian's phone buzzed. He narrowed his eyes at the name on the screen.

"Let me get this," he said, wiping his hands on a dishtowel and making his way to their bedroom for privacy.

In the dimness of their room, he answered Rhysand's call. "What," he said flatly.

"Hello to you, too," Rhys drawled. "You ever planning on leaving that cabin or should we not expect you home for Christmas?"

Cassian didn't have the patience for bantering with his brother, but he also knew this wasn't the time to tear Rhys a new asshole. That conversation would have to wait until they returned home.

"I'm actually thinking of extending our stay," Cassian said through his clenched jaw. "Nesta mentioned something today about 'weighing me down' and feeling like a burden, and it's really got me concerned."

"...Has it?"

"It has. I mean where would she get such a bullshit idea from, you know? I clearly haven't been spending enough time with her if that's what she thinks of herself." Cassian wondered if he could choke someone with passive-aggressiveness. "So yeah, now I have to spend the whole weekend telling my girlfriend I love her." He sighed as if this was a huge hardship for him. "We'll probably be here for the rest of the week. Might not even make it back for Christmas if I feel like keeping her to myself."

Rhys cleared his throat, and Cassian hoped he felt uncomfortable. "Good for you, man. If that's what you're dead-set on."

"It is."

Rhys didn't have much to say after that, but the slightest bit of Cassian's need for revenge had eased. If his family couldn't like Nesta, the least they could do was know how much he loved her. Cassian hung up without saying goodbye back and tossed his phone onto the bed.

He hadn't been planning on extending his and Nesta's cabin retreat before his conversation with Rhys, but the plans he'd made up on the spot over the phone were looking undeniably appealing. Maybe they would skip Christmas this year, and only share presents with each other in bed.

Cassian returned to the kitchen to find Nesta struggling to wrangle a dangerously sticky, soggy lump of dough. She looked up at him apologetically as he entered. "I tried cooking without you," she said, sounding defeated.

"Even though you knew what would come out of it?" Cassian was already pushing his sleeves up to save her attempt at dough.

"How hard can dough be? I have to get it eventually, right?"

Cassian had to hold down a smile at his girlfriend's cooking skills. "You should wash your hands," was all he said. She was up to her elbows in the weird sticky mixture.

"Right, Cassian?" Nesta repeated, waiting for affirmation.

Cassian couldn't lie, so he settled for a kiss on the forehead and the truth. "You'll never have to worry about cooking as long as you have me, sweetheart."

[trianglesimpfordpines]

I’m in the mood to incoherently ramble about Ford so

Something I think the fandom tends to overlook about Ford is that his apparent arrogance is heavily implied to be a defense mechanism.

When you spend your formative years isolated and being pretty much constantly punished by peers for “wrongs” you didn’t even know you committed, usually very vague ones like, say, “being a freak” or even just “being annoying” or “being a know-it-all,” and nobody wants to actually explain to you why they seem to hate you or how you can improve, it messes with your ability to relate to others. In Ford’s case, the only real safety net (that didn’t involve interpersonal interaction, so not counting Stanley) he had to fall back on was that he was, if nothing else, really smart. He had the grades and apparently various academic awards to prove it.

So, without the ability to properly communicate and get help regarding his social difficulties, Ford as a child was left with two possible conclusions; either he faced bullying and ostracization because he was just too smart and everyone else just wasn’t smart enough to understand him, or it was because he really was annoying and a freak, and the bullies were right. Remember this is something he would have had to contend with as a child, too; if his Issues started in adulthood it might be reasonable to expect a more nuanced, mature reaction, but a little kid probably isn’t thinking about nuance.

Notice that in the series proper, Ford seems to reach peak “arrogant jerkass” during tense interactions with other people (see the argument with Stan that got him sent through the portal, or the argument with Stan during Weirdmageddon, or...really, it’s usually with Stan lmao)--and that he fluctuates between that and self-loathing.

It’s also worth noting that in Journal 3 he seems to really want, for lack of a better way of phrasing it, attention. Fame, glory, that sort of thing. That’s what Bill lures him in with, too; validation. And how he keeps trying to impress people in the series; the fight with the cycloptopus was likely staged, the whole shtick with inventing an unnecessarily cool lightbulb, immediately dropping everything to play DD&MD with Dipper...it’s really obvious that deep down, Ford may want to believe that he’s superior somehow, but in the end, more than anything else, he’s just incredibly lonely and he wants people to like him.

TL;DR, Ford’s egotistical jerkass shtick isn’t a matter of “bad behavior” the narrative could fix by punishing him; it’s a defense mechanism (albeit an unhealthy one) he likely developed as a child to cope with feelings of isolation.

[in-tua-deep]

20 for Vanya?

20. What-ifs/Alternate Timelines

I have a lot of what-ifs and alternate timelines for Vanya lmao, especially ones that prevent the apocalypse because I’m a sucker for a happy ending tbh

What if Vanya was included? Why not? Klaus’s powers weren’t useful for missions, Allison’s story for Claire was literally like “yeah Klaus got distracted by ghosts in the background lol” so it’s not like a kid without offensive powers couldn’t do it

you have rebellious Vanya aus, where she decides, like some neglected children do, so act out. If her father isn’t going to acknowledge anything good about her, she’s going to make him acknowledge the bad. Punishment might be the only time he pays attention to her, after all.

(let’s call this an au where the pills suppress her powers but not so much her emotions)

So you have an au where she sneaks out and joins the missions. She breaks into the mausoleum and picks Klaus up and stares her father down with a challenge in her eyes. 

Five vanishes, and Vanya gets worse. She plays her violin at 2 in the morning. She refuses to eat her broccoli. she teams up with diego to see who can piss dad off the most

(her and Diego actually get along very well in this sort of au, honestly)

Vanya gets out and plays the violin and gets angry. She plays with fury and fire and gets second chair, because Helen is actually really very good. But she makes Helen work for it. Helen isn’t secure in her position, she always knows that Vanya is a step away from taking it from her

and maybe that should make them enemies, but it doesn’t. They’re rivals. Helen respects the hell out of Vanya, and Vanya can’t help but admire the woman who makes the most difficult pieces look effortless

(RIVALS TO LOVERS: VIOLIN EDITION)

Vanya writes her book. Except she kicks down Diego’s boiler room door and is like “DIEGO”

“WHAT”

“I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HOW MUCH DAD FUCKING SUCKS”

“I’LL BE RIGHT THERE”

as one of the rebel kids, Vanya actually got along well with Klaus as well since she helped him sneak out and 100% also smoked at least some weed with him because it would piss off Reggie tbh though she didn’t get into the harder drugs like he did

(showing up absolutely plastered to breakfast when they were sixteen was hilarious even if the laps they had to run around the block were not)

anyway Klaus crashes at her apartment sometimes, with supervision, because she loves Klaus but he has a problem and has stolen from her before but he’s still her brother but regardless

Klaus-Diego-Vanya sleepovers where they brainstorm the book to shit talk their father. Honestly it’s kind of a blast. They all get super wine drunk and end up watching Mary Poppins together with some Very Loud Opinions about nannies in general tbh

klaus throwing popcorn at the screen: BOO WHY WAS OUR CHILDHOOD NOT A MUSICAL???

diego: idk if you can have cheery musicals about child soldiers

vanya: i mean if they can have a musical about child labor in factories and the starvation of the workers in oliver twist you could do something with child superheroes

klaus: EXACTLY thank you vanya

they publish the book (luther is uNHAPPY, vanya dedicates her book to ‘all my siblings who survived the Reginald Regime but especially those who didn’t’, and she gifts Reggie a copy that says “fuck you lol” and is signed by her, diego, and klaus), they continue living, they go to the funeral when reggie kicks the bucket

and then five shows up, feral and aching

and five tells vanya about the apocalypse, and vanya thinks about their father saying time travel messed with the mind, and then she thinks - fuck the old man he was wrong about her (ordinary, fuck that, she’s Vanya Fucking Hargreeves) and he was probably wrong about Five, too

and Five is wholeheartedly believed

“Let me call Diego,” Vanya says when Five tells her about the eye, “I bet he could totally wear a police uniform and get info about the eye. And if not, I’m absolutely sure Klaus could improvise a solution. He’s good at that.”

“Klaus??” Five asks, vaguely suspicious.

“We don’t talk about the Sleepover of 2012.” Vanya intones solemnly, and refuses to answer any further questions on the topic.

Harold Jenkins comes to the apartment and tries to woo Vanya or whatever, and Vanya is kind of like... “Look, Leonard. I can be your teacher for violin. It’s my job. But I am in a relationship. And also like, super gay. If you have a problem with that then I am not the teacher for you.”

Actually scratch Diego and Klaus getting called, which they do, Vanya looks at them and her thirteen year old brother and is like “wait. actually i know someone infinitely better to crack this case wide open.”

“Who?” Five, Klaus, and Diego all ask

“My girlfriend.” Vanya says proudly, called Helen up.

And Helen walks into the building like she’s at fucking war and has such demanding confidence that they just give her the information she seeks and apologize for inconveniencing her.

“Hey Vanya are we still on for date night tomorrow?” Helen casually asks after, and Five kind of wants to be her when he grows up honestly after watching her verbally eviscerate Lance or whatever the fuck his name is

“Yeah.” Vanya confirms, “Unless there’s other apocalypse stuff to do?”

“You take all the time you need, honey.” Helen says warmly, “After all the more time you take the less you have to practice.”

“I’m gonna destroy the concert piece and you know it.” Vanya threatens.

Helen sniffs, “Okay, whatever you say second chair.”

and then they kiss and Helen ditches and the others just kind of look at Vanya judgingly

“In fairness, she’s very hot and very talented.” Vanya defends herself.

Klaus nods sagely. Vanya nods back. He gets it. 

“Concert piece?” Diego asks, because he has priorities.

“Yeah, I’ve already asked for tickets for all of you and you will be attending Diego.” Vanya smiles prettily with all her teeth.

“When is it?” Five asks

“April 1st.” Vanya tells him, “And no that isn’t an April Fools joke. You will attend and you will marvel at my skill. And maybe run interference between Helen and Allison because I’m kind of afraid they’re going to rip each others throats out to establish dominance.”

“That’s the day of the apocalypse.” Five informs her.

“Not on my goddamn watch.” Vanya says, because her family will attend her fucking concert and they will make awkward small talk with her girlfriend and the fucking apocalypse has better lay down and get over itself because nothing can stop Vanya’s goddamn plans

“I can investigate Meritech more.” Diego offers, because Lance-or-whatever-his-name-is is clearly shady as shit, “I have police contacts I could go through. Hey Vanya, your concert tickets include a plus one?”

“They can.” Vanya shrugs.

“Sweet, let me see if Patch can come.”

“She’s way too good for you, bro.”

“Shut your goddamn mouth.”

Anyway the point is they all go home, and Diego goes to talk to his police contacts and Five is definitely at home for when Hazel and Cha-Cha attack the mansion, oops. 

“Whomst the FUCK.” Vanya yells, kicking Hazel in the crotch because she’s Vanya Fucking Hargreeves she knows self defense thank you very much

“Ah.” Five says. “Hazel. How’s it going.”

“Just peachy.” Hazel wheezes, “Why’d you betray the Commission?”

“Well, you know. They cut the dental. That was really the last straw.” Five says, sarcastically.

“The dental.” Hazel echoes back, nodding very seriously, “I fucking know. You know physical therapy isn’t even covered anymore?”

“No shit?” Five says, “I mean you’d think with a job as physical as ours...”

“I know.” Hazel howls, vindicated. 

“Five.” Vanya says, rolling her eyes, “The house?”

“Oh, right.” Five frowns, looking at Hazel, “I mean. Can you like, leave? And not come back?”

“‘Fraid not.” Hazel actually sounds somewhat apologetic, “You know what the Commission is like. They’re really gunning for you.”

Five nods, because really what did he expect, “Can you leave like, temporarily? I mean you’d pretty clearly outnumbered. I don’t even know where Cha-Cha is, but judging by the furious yelling she probably met our sister and brother and Luther is hard to kill. Trust me, if he wasn’t we would have killed him when we were like, eight. But for real, can you get out of our house? I mean. Storming the den? Seriously? What kind of information did they even give you?”

“They didn’t give us any information.” Hazel responds back, sounding appropriately outraged, “They didn’t even tell us you could teleport.”

“Well that’s just rude. You’d think they wanted you dead or something.” Five muses, “But seriously, get out of my house.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Hazel admits, and leaves, because honestly Hazel is chill like that and knows when he’s lost. And Hazel also has a lot to think about. Like the fact that the Commission sucks and doesn’t even have dental, and how pretty the donut lady is. 

and Vanya is just like... okay. Weird. Is that going to happen again? Probably? I mean. Okay, this day has already been so goddamn weird. This week, honestly.

And they keep getting attacked by the Commission. And Vanya finds out someone broke into her apartment and stole her meds. What the fuck. 

“Did your shitty assassin friends do this?” Vanya asks, waving an empty pill bottle.

“Why would they?” Five asks, honestly confused.

“Because they’re assholes?” Vanya says, honestly outraged.

“You got me there.” Five admits.

The combined forces of Diego-and-Patch (because Patch is actually thrilled that Diego is asking for help regarding an actual fucking crime) figure out that the eyeballs are being sold illegally

Klaus is not kidnapped so he’s fine, just tagging along and living his best life, however this also means that Klaus does not steal the briefcase and Hazel and Cha-Cha are fine

Vanya keeps Five close at hand because frankly she doesn’t want him to leave again and she did really miss him. Also if she does save the world she can lord it over Helen’s head forever. 

And so Five is around when Vanya’s powers manifest, probably because they just got targeted by commission goons again because they’re trying real hard to kill five and separate Vanya

“Holy SHIT.” Five says, very intelligently, “You have POWERS.”

“Wow. Gonna have to write a fucking sequel to the shit-talking-dad book.” Vanya says, honestly a little light headed.

And then Vanya finds out her powers are sound based.

“Oh no.” Vanya says, “Where the fuck are my pills. I am not relearning how to play the violin with-powers a few days before the big concert Five, what the fuck.”

“But you need to learn to control them!” Five protests, “They’re your powers!”

“They’re a goddamn inconvenience is what they are.” Vanya states, “I mean, what am I going to do with them? Stop a bank robbery with the Umbrella Academy? Yeah, no thanks, that ship has sailed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean Titanic style. I’ll figure them out when I’m not in danger of blasting the audience halfway across the continent.”

“Yeah.” Five admits, “That’s fair.”

“Besides, if I’ve been on that shit as long as I have, and it’s been a long time, I cannot even IMAGINE what quitting cold turkey will do.” Vanya points out, very sensibly, like a siblings who has watched Klaus go through withdrawal symptoms more than once.

“Maybe there’s extra at the manor?” Five suggests, “Pogo probably knows.”

“Oh yeah I bet Pogo knows something.” Vanya mutters maybe a little bitterly.

They go back to the mansion and the Commission is honestly pulling their hair out tbh, and they ask Pogo who kind of pales and is like “UHHHH YES I CAN GET VANYA EXTRA PILLS” and goes to get them from whatever stash

“Fucking sweet.” Vanya whispers, entirely done with this situation, “The only adult male role model I had and he hid my powers from me and betrayed me. Love that for us.”

Five shrugs, “I mean, you’re right. All of our adult role models were all kinds of fucked up.”

“You vanished when we were 13.” Vanya says, “Didn’t you find like, any other adults ever?”

“Oh let me tell you about the Handler.” Five says, and proceeds to do just that. Because let’s be real, the Handler was the only human interaction Five had after forty odd years alone it was pretty damn important

Vanya, on the other hand, has strong plans to eviscerate the Handler should the two ever meet because Five deserved way better than to be forcibly made into an assassin?? honestly fuck that woman

that’s it that’s the au

Vanya finds out she has powers and is like “i have a LIFE i don’t want to interrupt it with bullshit POWERS,,, also going cold turkey off my meds seems like a bad idea if I don’t want to deal with withdrawal symptoms during my concert for fucks sake, my gf would never let me live it down if i skipped”

so vanya takes her meds, does NOT destroy the world, makes every one of her siblings go to the concert and even invites Hazel and Agnes after Hazel betrays Cha-Cha to join team No-Apocalypse. 

and then introduces them all to her girlfriend

“Holy shit Vanya.” Helen deadpans, “Your family is all kinds of fucked up.”

“I know.” Vanya says, aggrieved, “It’s been a long fucking week. Want to go camping and help me figure out my cool sound based powers? Bet they’ll make me a better violin player than you.”

“I think the fuck not.” Helen hisses, always up for a challenge, “Let’s do this. Me and my violin vs. you and your dumb baby powers. You’re on.”

“FAMILY CAMPING TRIP.” Klaus hollers, with all the enthusiasm in his little heart.

“Holy shit this is going to be such a disaster, I just know it.” Diego mutters.

“Shut up, it’ll be nice.” Allison says, elbowing Diego with her pointy pointy elbows.

“It’s going to be a shitshow.” Vanya says serenely, because it is. That’s just who their family is. 

Wouldn’t have it any other way, though

[thevoilinauttheory]

It Was An Accident

[ for @the-children‘s Nightmare Before Endwalker, and as a response to @rodarin-calrise’s post here! ] 

[ i didn’t reblog it because of how long it’d all be and i am constantly anxious about taking up peoples’ dashboards lmao so i’m so sorry if this is done wrong in advance, i haven’t rp’d on tumblr in like... years and i feel awkward af but the adderall and need to write are curb-stomping the anxiety (okay this is like... half prompt half rp reply i’m so sorry) ]

[ this is in direct sequel to this prompt! ]

==

The first sign should have been that he woke up... semi-peacefully. No nightmares, nor terrors, nor screaming; he was startled awake by nearly falling out of his chair.

Gods, his head hurt. He couldn’t even rightly blame the drink for it - he drank far more than that on a daily basis... or maybe it was the withdrawal. No, it had to be the damned voices. He heard them again, and the more he blamed them, the more prominent they were.

He stuffed his hand into his pocket.

The watch chained to his belt said it was mid-afternoon, and yet... it was just as dark outside as it was when he arrived. What time was it when he arrived, even? He brushed himself off, straightened the bags that settled at his waist, and set to stepping outside of the inn... the thought still rattled.

What time was it when he checked in? How long was he asleep?

He couldn’t rightly remember.

It was still damp outside when he made it there. It killed whatever mood he could have had, really. And killed his hair too. He was trying deperately to cling to something small - his book came to mind, and he fished it out to begin writing in it again. All of the questions in his head.

“What time is it? Has it passed, even? Is there a fluctuation we should be aware of?” He could feel it - that something off, the one that crawled through his blood with a sickening ichor; it paced his own, matched his breathing. There it was again. “What is this feeling that keeps dragging its way into my throat? Should I be worried? Should I be scared? Should I embrace it? For it feels so much like...”

He stopped in front of a fountain, staring at the pearlescent water as if it’d give him answers. Watching it ripple as any other fountain would--

Pearls?

It shimmered, oily, like soap - waving an array of muted colors underneath the candlelight. How strange. How--

How could he even see it?

Maximiloix pulled his eye patch over his aetherial eye, revealing the world as it truly was - blinking to gather his bearings on the suddenly bright darkness that assaulted his vision. It was just the same. The water was like that of liquid pearls, how could he see it so clearly without sight? He slid the patch back over, now leaning back to write in his book again.

No, he was going to draw this. He needed some sort of evidence that he wasn’t as mad as he was being made seem - he stood for a few minutes, crudely sketching out the shape of the fountain, and the colors that plagued it. No, he wouldn’t let the curiosity end there, with a picture. He fumbled through his bags for the containers he brought. He was right in bringing materials to conduct research, an island that springs up over a literal night must have some interesting characteristics. It was before he could truly grab what he was looking for, that a hand had found itself firmly planted on his shoulder.

It was a simple gesture which had warranted the simplest of defenses - of course, Maximiloix was anything but “simple” and the fear that shot through him to rupture his deep concentration formed a splattering of flames that emanated from his feet and spread outward to gain distance on whatever creature or person had the utter audacity as to touch him.

What followed was a laugh - of course it was. Many found his defense funny in some strange way, and his eye found the perpetrator in the form of a man. Tall for a hyur... short, compared to himself. He tilted his head at him,

“Welcome to Westmoore~”

He had chimed. Some vague semblance of happiness found in the dreariness of the area - yet the expression on his face was devoid of any such emotion.

There was something wrong here. So very wrong. He couldn’t place it. He ignored it.

“Thank... you, I suppose.” What else was he supposed to say? The citizens had barely spoken a word to him, unless initiated himself. This man came from outright nowhere, spooked the magic right out of him, and suddenly... talks to him. He was torn between asking questions and keep silent. Something wasn’t right about this man - in fact, the voices-- Maximiloix rubbed at his forehead to try and quiet them down. “Apologies for the... display. I am Maximiloix Voilinaut, sent by the Maelstrom to... investigate the place, I suppose. I- I am sorry, did I catch your name?”

It was foggy, the voices, the sights - the aether that faded in and out, with colors the swayed as much as he felt like he currently was.

“I’m Rodarin Calrise, the Mayor of Westmoore. Come — let’s get you settled in.”

Right. Rodarin - had he heard the name before? He couldn’t remember. Everything was beginning to get... hazy.

“Settled in? Oh, there is no need - I have found my own way for the time being.”

But he insisted... and he couldn’t refuse. His feet followed the Mayor regardless of his qualms. He had only been this entranced once in his life, and... well, it didn’t end up too terrible, he had thought. Not that he truly noticed it all.

“I will say... time is easy to lose track of here, is it not? Or...” Maximiloix drew the watch from his pocket again. The time hadn’t changed. “...Or it cannot be lost at all, can it.”

What was going on? Why did he continue to follow? This all should have settled wrongly in his stomach. There it was again, the cold ache that chewed through him - that turned the ice in his bones to water, it heated him from the inside. Was he sweating again? What in the hells was happening?

They turned the opposite direction of their intended destination - where he stared at the sign in disbelief, and yet... he could not question it. The words that came from his mouth were of an entirely different subject. His mind had shut down all sense, and defaulted to his usual state of... conducting research.

“Do you find that the characteristics of your flora and fauna may differ from that of Vylbrand’s? Despite arriving in the area... it would seem strange some magically appearing island would have the same as us. Much like Val when it was rediscovered - the entirety of its character had shifted in the short time it was gone. New creatures, new habitats, even a change in how magic worked within its bounds. Despite the usage of aetherytes on it, teleporting to it still remains largely impossible - what of your island? Is yours just the same?”

The error of attempting to compute the danger he was walking into resulted in a string of nonsense, the floodgate of voices released with no filter - and for a moment, anyone that had known his grandson would know exactly where the man obtained his penchant for not shutting up.

His questions were cut... somewhat short by the pain in his head, the nagging and yelling and gods-awful screeching picked up again. He kept the grunt of pain to himself, but when he was able to focus again...

“A forest?” He hummed under his breath. Nothing was adding up anymore. Was anything adding up before? If it was, it wasn’t now. He looked at his watch. No time had passed. It was broken. Or time was broken. Something was broken. Where were they headed? He couldn’t remember. Was he going senile already? He predicted at least another decade before that.

What was happening - what was happening -

Maximiloix shook his head to clear himself of the fog, blinking the haze from his eyes to be met face to face with... what was this mess? He looked down at himself. The melting disfigured man shaped pile had his colors. That was his signature he was looking at, but no. That was impossible. Instead of being deterred by the sight, by even the creature that was supposedly eating chunks of the damned thing; he stepped forward. He moved towards it. The curiosity, it would kill him in the end, wouldn’t it... and yet, he didn’t care.

“Welcome back to Westmoore. I hope you enjoy your stay. Try to avoid the Woods next time, won’t you?”

The voice of the Mayor cackled in his ears as he tried to make heads or tails of what he was looking at; his eyes turned up to a face of sharpened teeth - the predator seeing its prey. And he...

His own laugh bubbled up from his chest, through the searing and burning pain in his chest - he laughed, he laughed. There was no one here to be scared of this unexplained jovial attitude - there was no one to look at him strangely but the strangeness that surrounded him. He laughed as his knees hit the grass, as he clawed into his own chest, as the edges of his vision began to grow dark.

“This is no nightmare - this better be the best damned sleep of my life!” He laughed. And laughed. And laughed more through his words, up until there was no air for him to laugh with - up until he passed out there.