#hes nonbinary and trans and he is all genders and no gender all at once

[perenlop]

i'm kinda pleasantly surprised about how people are so open about future!isabeau designs where he changed again to use she/her pronouns too. i've seen a couple of them and there's been no real backlash that i've noticed

i feel like in any other case that'd be cause for alarm and cause a lot of discourse but i think most isat fans are thankfully kinda normal about trans people (right now, anyways) and we all know we're not erasing the transmasc rep, it doesn't even mean he's not transmasc in these interpretations. the thing is, people do end up realizing they're not the gender they thought they were, and change that, and people see that in isabeau. it's a nice exploration of the character ^^

[sonknuxadow]

shadow wouldn't be homophobic or transphobic obviously but he was also born on a space station completely separated from earth society and then was asleep for 50 years so i dont think he would be super knowledgeable on lgbt stuff either. i think he would have to have the concept of transgenderism explained to him even though he himself is trans and already transitioned a long time ago

[ventbloglite]

I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.

Not misgendering, malgendering.

We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.

e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.

Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).

e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.

This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man." This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."* *obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.

But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.

Most people recognise malgendering when it's;

Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.

But you need to look out for how;

Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.

Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.

Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.

Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'

All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.

Malgendering is transphobia.

[butchvamp]

okay i've played a bit more and i have a lot of thoughts about Taash and the way gender is being handled overall in this game...

first i will say the positives which is that i do really appreciate the attempt at incorporating trans characters both in the world as companions and allowing us to make those options in the cc. and as someone who also writes dark fantasy stories with trans characters i do understand how difficult it can be to incorporate these identities into a world that doesn't necessarily have the same language as we do; but overall the way they've approached this feels very... i've seen some people call it unpolished but i actually feel the opposite. it's almost clinical (therapy-speak in general has been a main criticism of this game) and it's way too polished, in my opinion, which is what makes it so jarring to see.

there has been a trans character established in game previously, there is already a precedent for these identities to exist in this world, and they have never used this language before. the way Iron Bull talked about Krem felt far more realistic and integrated into the world of Thedas comparatively. was it perfect? no, of course not, but i chafe at the idea that it needs to be perfect, anyways. this is another problem the game has; past characters have had their flaws completely ironed out (Isabela is now a paragon of friendship and returns cultural artifacts instead of looting them, Dorian has multiple codex entries wallowing about how he used to defend slavery, the Crows have suddenly become a big found family-- on and on and on) and while i have my criticisms of some of these flaws (Dorian's pro-slavery rant in inqusition still makes my eyes roll) i dislike the way they're handling these changes and just expecting us to ignore all of the lore and worldbuilding from previous games. and all of this "political correctness" only for the game to still be so racist.

which brings me back to Taash.... Taash is very strange character, lacking agency around both their gender and their culture. they are simply a mouthpiece for the writer. while yes, it should always be made undeniable that your character is trans or gay or xyz, Taash really does only exist to be nonbinary. and to be clear, a nonbinary character like them could be very interesting, if their writing wasnt so... white. we know that the Qun has different ideas about gender than Rivain (and elsewhere) and this could have been a very interesting exploration of that; however, it is obvious that the Qun (and Taash's mother) are meant to be depicted negatively, and ultimately it ends with the player (not Taash) choosing between their two cultures. their gender is clearly far more important to the writer and the only facet of their identity they seemed willing to explore, which makes me question why even make this character qunari to begin with...

Neve and Rook are also the two that spur Taash into exploring their gender. this, on the surface, is not a problem for me. i'm playing as a trans Rook and while the dialogue was again very overpolished and clunky i found it kind of endearing. but the way Neve is used as this "foil" for Taash really rubbed me the wrong way. this assumption that Neve has no complicated feelings about her gender or being a woman (which i highly doubt considering the world she lives in & how misogynistic it is) and the implication from Taash that she only dresses the way she does for her mother/other people (which Neve doesn't even get to challenge) is extremely narrow-minded. Taash is the Only character that acknowledges gender; so far, even when flirting with other characters, it's only been Taash that i've been allowed to specify with that my rook is trans, despite Taash already knowing that from our previous conversation (i hope that this changes once i lock in with a specific character so feel free to correct me if it does).

but no one else really seems to have an opinion except that Neve drags Taash around to meet Maevaris, and we get the very goofy note that's just a list of modern gender identities and their definitions. i do partly sympathize with the writers here; again i've had to find a way to incorporate lgbt identities in my own writing and it can be difficult depending on your audience. i understand wanting to be very clear and concise. but this is... just goofy. and this desperation to be so correct around gender while simultaneously writing such an offensively racist narrative is really frustrating.

there's also an inconsistency that comes from this with Taash's character-- they are portrayed as this rough but awkward character that is bossed around by their mother, they are bashful with flirting early on and are almost child-like in comparison to the other characters. and then suddenly you get a scene with them where they very directly ask if you want to have sex and suddenly pin you against the wall. this scene was so jarring to me i referred to it as a jumpscare because WHERE has this character been this entire time? i want to see more of this, more of this character who takes what they want and knows exactly who they are (which they even say multiple times when you first meet them... but then need Neve and Rook to hold their hand about it?)

i do really like Taash, i like the idea of them, of this very self-assured and almost cocky character who is also a little silly, this person who is so sure of who they are but has to deal with their mother undermining them while also navigating a culture they feel disconnected from, and i also like that the player can help them through it... but the execution is awful, shallow, and racist. the idea that someone can only choose One culture is so offensive and also a laughable conclusion when compared to their coming out as nonbinary. the writer clearly understands that people don't exist within these little boxes when it comes to gender, but can't wrap their head around it when it comes to someone's culture-- which is also a very important part of a person's identity and often contributes directly to their gender and how they feel about it. all of these different characters have different experiences, come from different places, Davrin and Bellara are Dalish and even have differing opinions on what that means for themselves, but the game doesn't touch on any of it. all we get is a lecture from the writer that is completely removed from the world it's presented in.

i wish i could understand what it was this character was meant to convey. i stand by saying that it doesn't need to be perfect; i know there are people that had problems with Krem in inquisition, but at least Krem was his own person. Taash doesn't even get that here... i harp a lot about character agency when i give writing advice on my other blog but it really is so so so important for marginalized characters-- both gay, trans, and especially characters of color-- to have their own agency around their identities that is completely separate from the player & player choice, that allows them to exist as their own person within the world you've created, and i think Taash's character and story is an unfortunate example of exactly what not to do.

[genderkoolaid]

I feel like you would get this, seeing this comment section kinda hurt. The OP they are responding to is a non-binary trans man who was talking about feeling uncomfortable because they still feel attraction to lesbians and have felt very excluded. He’s wary around certain lesbians because they center their ideology around hating men regardless of gender identity and has faced a lot of anti-transmasculinity and transmisogyny. While most lesbians are wonderful amazing people there’s no denying that some do hold an innate hatred for men, not saying they need to like men. I fully understand lesbians and predatory cis men but there’s definitely lesbians who would date trans men. It can be scary for a trans man to come out or start transitioning because at what point do they become too masculine or too much of a man for their friends. There were even people in the comments saying the same anti-man statements who identify as a he/him nonbinary lesbian. This topic is very hard to hear for me as a closeted genderfluid person because my best friend is a man hating lesbian and I dread the day I can actually begin transitioning and she turns her back on me like these people. Queer spaces in general can be hard to occupy as a multi gendered person because of those people as well as mlm/nblm spaces that say ‘fem aligned dni’. In general I don’t think we should police labels and everyone has their own interpretation and I think labels are just a suggestion anyway but I suppose that makes sense for a genderfluid bisexual person.

These people just straight up do not understand the gender diversity that has always existed in lesbian spaces (by which I mean spaces built & catering to queer women & those seen as women).

There have always been trans men in lesbian spaces. You aren't obligated to fuck them, but they have always been there. There are pages and pages of writing out there not only by trans male dykes, but by the lesbian cis women who love them and still identify as lesbians while in relationships with them. There are trans guys at dyke bars right now as we speak having a great time.

Its not surprising to me that there are he/him NB lesbians supporting this. There are a lot of people out there who, because they don't identify As Men, mentally distance themselves from those who do despite any similarities. It's okay for THEM to be lesbians, and it's transphobic to erase THEIR lesbianism because they are Non-Men™! but once you cross that line you become the enemy. It's very "no you gyns I'm TOTALLY different than those gross tbros i promise im not a man at all and i will never want to be one so im allowed in the club!" The same people also throw multigender people under the bus. Trying to figure out your nonbinary in this environment is hellish (I speak from experience) because people pretend like they are super accepting of nonbinary people, until you realize that if you ever think of yourself as even slightly male people will start seeing you as a predatory invader trying to Force Lesbians To Date Men! Very "complex gender for me but not for thee"

Anyways. Twitter is not a good place. Anon, I hope you find better friends. Not every queer space is this hostile to us, I promise. There are people out there who genuinely work to make our community better and I hope you find them.

[royal-wren]

In honor of Pride, I'm going to list a few Hellenic deities to think of more actively during this time

Aphrodite: Historically known to be intersex and trans, especially under the name Aphroditos. Not to mention as a goddess of love, that means all kinds of love and expressions of it. Everyone in the LGBT+ umbrella can turn to her without worry.

Apollon: He is known for epithets like the Unshorn, and for literally wearing feminine clothing for the time.

Artemis: Known for embracing masculinity and more masculine traits like her interests, mannerisms, and appearance (attire). Also known to be aro/ace spec.

Athene: Most know her to lean more toward masculinity, but she's more an equal mix of both masculine and feminine (nonbinary by human terms). Also known to be aro/ace spec and wlw as well.

Dionysos: Like Apollon, is known for wearing feminine clothing for the time and occasionally a feminine appearance to match. Embracing the unconventional and what lies outside of society's standards and mentalities is his thing, and it shows with epithets like Androgynos.

Hekate: A goddess of the liminal (everything in between), boundaries, and transitions, of paths and crossroads (which are more than physical ones).

Hera: As a goddess of women, that includes every kind of woman no matter what, there is no room to try and exclude anyone from that. She's also a goddess of marriage and one to lean on for rights on that matter.

Hermes: A god of the liminal, the god of transitions, boundaries, paths, and roads, and a god of romantic unions, the god of fire - the literal and figurative sparks that ensue as a god of friction, a weigher of love like Aphrodite. Before the late Classical and Hellenistic periods was also known to be aro/ace spec as outside of cultic unions, a majority of his immortal (and deity) children are goddesses as well, and he has two nonbinary (one intersex) children, Palaistra and Hermaphroditos, and occasionally the father of Eros either by Aphrodite or Artemis (and no this is real, you're just not ready for this conversation on this information).

Leto: In worship, she has the cult epithet Phystiê (the Grafter) that relates to a myth of her helping Leukippe transition at the wishes of his mother to avoid death. With the grafter epithet, she has a festival in her honor, Ekdysia (Stripping (Festival)). One of her sacred animals is the Ichneumon (Egyptian Mongoose), which was known to be both male and female in an individual member of the species.

Palaistra: The goddess of wrestling and daughter of Hermes is nonbinary, being both genders at once and neither at the same time

The Erotes: It kind of goes without saying that they should be here for a month of love, identity, and acceptance.

The Kharites: As goddesses of joy, merriment, and festivity/celebration, it feels as essential to have them here as the Erotes are. During Pride, they will lift your spirits and cause you to cheer.

[buildingmycottage]

I saw a post here on Tumblr once that went something like "in a world where god, Jesus, and the apostles are all men, that has to do something psychologically to women" and it made me think: The Netflix version of the show "She-Ra Princess of Power" is a show that is HEAVILY women centric. We know maybe three guys in power, King Micah (who, after his return from Beast Island, wasn't *really* in power), the head sorcerer in Mystacor, Hordak/Horde Prime. (please do correct me if I am wrong) The show, albeit about princesses, has the princesses have actual roles. Even the ones that are "weak" or perceived to be weaker than the others (read: Perfuma), are extremely powerful.

The two men whom we consistently meet in the show other than Hordak, Bow and Seahawk, are not the "macho man" in most shows. Seahawk sings an entire shanty as to how lonely he is and how he just wants to be friends with Mermista, and Bow cries and even hugs frequently all the other characters in the show. Both talk about their emotions and work through them in /relatively/ healthy ways (the Dragon's Daughters 1-3 will be sorely missed). My point being, is that the women in the show are shown as strong, beautiful, muscular, fierce, sad, frustrated, loving, traumatized, hurt, laughing, and more. They all have different body shapes/ types of bodies. There are three openly gay couples: Bow's dads, Spinerella and Netossa, and Catra and Adora. Incredible! In a kids show (and adults too lets be real) there are three openly gay couples. No one treats them any different. Bow is one of 13 kids of George and Lance. No one bats an eye. In fact, according to She-Ra Wiki page (https://she-raandtheprincessesofpower.fandom.com/wiki/LGBTQIAP%2B), so many characters are queer. Besides the ones listed above: - Scorpia and Perfuma are romantically involved - Bow is Bisexual - Glimmer is Bisexual - Mermista is Bisexual - Seahawk is Bisexual (dated Falcon) - Falcon is Gay - Lonnie is Poly and Bisexual (dating Rogelio and Kyle) - by extension Rogelio and Kyle are queer - Entrapta is bi - Jewelstar is trans - Peekablue is gender non-conforming - Double Trouble is nonbinary and there is MORE In the show, as there are a ton of non humans, almost any time we meet someone, she/her pronouns are used (see episodes when Best Friend Squad are in the crimson waste). Can't you see how amazing this is? A show where there are no one-dimensional characters, women are constantly having intelligent conversation with one another, women are leaders, women working together, openly queer characters, and a beautiful plot line where there's magic???? When the princesses work together, they turn into the colors of the rainbow and their powers are enhanced. Little girls are getting to see themselves as normal. Women aren't treated as secondary citizens. Hell, almost every Bright Moon guard we see is female. How would the world be different if shows like this were the norm? Where women are able to be magical, and they aren't dressed to show off their bodies? Where women's armor actually protects them? Where they grunt and are sweating after they fight? Where womens' love wins? Why can't this be normal? (Happy Pride!)

[soleminisanction]

I got a bee in my bonnet and spent last night crunching these numbers to confirm a long-held suspicion of mine, and now I'm going to do something with them even if it's only interesting to me. So.

I went through and tallied up all of the fics AO3 currently (as of 3/27/24) has under the tags "Trans Tim Drake," "Nonbinary Tim Drake," "Genderfluid Tim Drake" and "Genderqueer Tim Drake," since I figured that cast a wide enough net without committing myself to reading every fic vaguely tagged Trans Character to figure out which character they were talking about.

I then did the same for Dick, Jason, Damian and Bruce and, after comparing those numbers against each other and against the total number of fics each character has under their general tag, followed up with Duke, Babs, Cass, Steph and Kate, and then Kon, Cassie, and Bart for good measure.

The results confirm the suspicions I was going into check and are really interesting, to me at least:

Despite having far fewer stories overall than Jason, Bruce or Dick, Tim has by far the most stories tagging him under the trans umbrella (653 out of 58,395) and is the only member of the Bats for whom at least one full percent of his stories fall under that category (1.12% to be exact.) He actually has more total trans stories than Jason and Damian combined (308 out of 71,120 and 255 out of 42,607, equaling 0.43% and 0.59%, respectively) and outstretches the 2nd place ranker, Dick, by over a hundred (who clocks in at 438 out of 79,057 -- 0.55%). Bruce amusingly has by far the most stories overall (90,305) but the fewest trans stories (185) for the lowest percentage among the boys (0.2%).

The only one who comes anywhere close to matching Tim percentage-wise is Bart, who has far fewer stories to his name but a ratio of 62 out of 5,717 for 1.08%. I was thinking maybe Young Justice might have a higher percentage than the Bats due to their strong queer fandom but that only really proved true for Bart, with both Cassie and Kon coming in at only 0.2% and 0.28% trans umbrella percentage respectively (actual count 6 out of 2,874 and 39 out of 13,746).

Cassie's numbers correspond with the fact that women just, do not get a lot of these stories, at all, even compared to the general lack of attention they're paid by fanfiction spheres in general. Steph and Kate both clocked in at falling 0.17% under the trans umbrella (29 out of 16,638 for Steph, 5 out of 2,897 for Kate); Cass got 0.13% (21 out of 15,769) and Babs only 0.07%, the lowest percentage out of anyone I calculated for (11 out of 15,785). Duke's showing was a respectable 0.55% (34 out of 6,166) which puts him about even with the rest of the boys.

All of which I just went through to confirm a gut instinct I've had for a while: even in light of the noticeable trend in fandom towards increased visibility for trans and other queer-gendered people over the last decade and a half or so, it's a notable Thing for the DC comics fandom to explore with Tim Drake in specific.

And that doesn't even take into account things like the over 200 "Tim Drake is Catlad | Stray" fics, which almost always have some element of queered gender or at least femme'd sexuality to them, far outstripping any of the other Robin boys' spins in that AU (those counts stand at, respectively: Damian - 11, Dick - 33, Jason - 79, Tim - 242). Or the 11 fics logged under the "Tim Drake is Batgirl" tag, a category that doesn't even exist for any of the other male Robins.

(What makes that last one extra hilarious to me that most people don't know one canonical version of Tim has been a member of the Batgirls.) Part of me wants to use that parenthetic detail as a segway to ramble about the various canon snippets I think probably contributed to this, from Tim being presented as "the pretty one" who most often gets the "looks like his mother" comments to the fact that he is the only male Robin who's ever cross-dressed for an undercover mission and even though it only happened once the Internet will never forget Caroline Hill.

But this post is long enough as it is and I don't really have a point beyond I think this is interesting and cool so I'm going to leave off here for now and put my numbers under a cut so people have the raw data to look at if they'd like to.

TL;DR - Based on the numbers, the internet believes Tim Drake is more likely to be trans than any other member of the Bat-family or Young Justice, and I think that has interesting implications about his character and fandom. It's neat.

Data Taken: 3/27/24

Tim Drake: 58,395 Trans Tim Drake: 513 Nonbinary Tim Drake: 46 Genderfluid Tim Drake: 89 Genderqueer Tim Drake: 5

Dick Grayson: 79,057 Trans Dick Grayson: 399 Nonbinary Dick Grayson: 15 Genderfluid Dick Grayson: 23 Genderqueer Dick Grayson: 1

Jason Todd: 71,120 Trans Jason Todd: 286 Nonbinary Jason Todd: 17 Genderqueer/Genderfluid Jason Todd: 5 (4 have both tags and are the only ones tagged Genderqueer Jason Todd)

Damian Wayne: 42,607 Trans Damian Wayne: 215  Nonbinary Damian Wayne: 37 Genderfluid Damian Wayne: 3 Genderqueer Damian Wayne: 0

Bruce Wayne: 90,305 Trans Bruce Wayne: 180 Nonbinary Bruce Wayne: 5 (2 also tagged Trans Bruce Wayne) Genderfluid Bruce Wayne: 1 Genderqueer Bruce Wayne: 1

-

Total Trans Umbrella Tim Drake: 653 Total Trans Umbrella Dick Grayson: 438 Total Trans Umbrella Jason Todd: 308 (313 if you count the GQ tag separately) Total Trans Umbrella Damian Wayne: 255 Total Trans Umbrella Bruce Wayne: 185 (187)

Percentage Trans Umbrella Tim Drake: 1.12% (1.11825) Percentage Trans Umbrella Dick Grayson: 0.55% (0.55403) Percentage Trans Umbrella Jason Todd: 0.43% (0.43307 or 0.44010) Percentage Trans Umbrella Damian Wayne: 0.59% (0.59849) Percentage Trans Umbrella Bruce Wayne: 0.2% (0.20466)

----

Duke Thomas: 6,166 Trans Duke Thomas: 20 Nonbinary Duke Thomas: 14 Genderfluid Duke Thomas: 0 Genderqueer Duke Thomas: 0

Barbara Gordon: 15,785 Trans Barbara Gordon: 11 Nonbinary Barbara Gordon: 0 Genderfluid Barbara Gordon: 0 Genderqueer Barbara Gordon: 0

Cassandra Cain: 15,769 Trans Cassandra Cain: 15 Nonbinary Cassandra Cain: 6 Genderfluid Cassandra Cain: 0 Genderqueer Cassandra Cain: 0

Stephanie Brown: 16,638 Trans Stephanie Brown: 27 Nonbinary Stephanie Brown: 2 Genderfluid Stephanie Brown: 0 Genderqueer Stephanie Brown: 0

Kate Kane (DCU): 2,897 Trans Kate Kane: 4 Nonbinary Kate Kane: 0 Genderfluid Kate Kane: 1 Genderqueer Kate Kane: 0

-

Total Trans Umbrella Duke Thomas: 34 Total Trans Umbrella Barbara Gordon: 11 Total Trans Umbrella Cassandra Cain: 21 Total Trans Umbrella Stephanie Brown: 29 Total Trans Umbrella Kate Kane: 5

Percentage Trans Umbrella Duke Thomas: 0.55% (0.55141) Percentage Trans Umbrella Barbara Gordon: 0.07% (0.06968) Percentage Trans Umbrella Cassandra Cain: 0.13% (0.13317) Percentage Trans Umbrella Stephanie Brown: 0.17% (0.17429) Percentage Trans Umbrella Kate Kane: 0.17% (0.17259)

----

Kon-El | Conner Kent: 13,746 Trans Kon-El | Conner Kent: 19 Nonbinary Kon-El | Conner Kent: 19 Genderfluid Kon-El | Conner Kent: 1 Genderqueer Kon-El | Conner Kent: 0

Bart Allen: 5,717 Trans Bart Allen: 40 Nonbinary Bart Allen: 20 Genderfluid Bart Allen: 1 Genderqueer Bart Allen: 1

Cassie Sandsmark: 2,874 Trans Cassie Sandsmark: 4 Nonbinary Cassie Sandsmark: 2 Genderfluid Cassie Sandsmark: 0 Genderqueer Cassie Sandsmark: 0

-

Total Trans Umbrella Kon-El: 39 Total Trans Umbrella Bart Allen: 62 Total Trans Umbrella Cassie Sandsmark: 6

Percentage Trans Umbrella Kon-El: 0.28% (0.28371)  Percentage Trans Umbrella Bart Allen: 1.08% (1.08448) Percentage Trans Umbrella Cassie Sandsmark: 0.2% (0.20876)

[paranormalsylvi]

Shoutout to all Selfshippers.

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Shoutout to Selfshippers who would give everything to have their F/Os be real and to those who are fine with them being fictional. Shoutout to Selfshippers who struggle to understand that their F/Os are fictional.

Shoutout to Selfshippers who have found their family in their F/Os, to those with two families now, to Selfshippers who have a friendgroup of F/Os.

Shoutout to Selfshippers who are comfortable sharing their F/Os, to those who feel uncomfortable with sharing them. Shoutout to Selfshippers whos boundaries around their F/Os change, to the Selfshippers who feel guilty for their boundaries. Shoutout to the Selfshippers who feel embarassed about their F/Os or feel embarassed about gushing about them.

Shoutout to the Selfshippers who see themselves as pretty and those who don't. Shoutout to those of you that are insecure, that feel embarassed about certain aspects of their looks and those who love themselves fully.

Shoutout to skinny Selfshippers, to chubby and fat Selfshippers. Shoutout to those of you who love their body and those who don't. Shoutout to those of you who have stretch marks, those who have body hair and shave and those who don't shave.

Shoutout to Selfshippers with dyed hair and those who keep their hair natural. Shoutout to those with tattoos and those with piercings.

Shoutout to Selfshippers who own a bunch of merch of their F/Os and shoutout to those of you who don't have any merch at all. Shoutout to those of you who have F/Os that have no merch and to those of you who don't have the money to buy merch. Shoutout to those of you who make their own merch of their F/Os, those who commission others and those who buy their merch online.

Shoutout to all and any Selfshipper. Know that your F/Os love you - because you're the definition of perfect to them.

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

My Two Cents On The “ Is David Tennant Queer” Drama

As some of you know, I spent a solid third of the past year working on a movie-length video essay about David Tennant. This video essay features an eight minute section titled “Gender, Vulnerability, and Why David Tennant Is A Queer Icon”, which does not speculate on David’s own sexuality, but discusses the queer coding and subversion of gender norms in plenty of his roles and his importance as an ally to the LGBT community. At the same time, I was also coming to terms with my own identity as nonbinary and bisexual, and it ended up playing a crucial role in me finally working up the courage to come out to my parents. Characters like Crowley and the Doctor, both in terms of how they present themselves and how and who they love, have been absolutely instrumental in me developing my queer identity, and my comments section was full of people who had had similar experiences, who’d realized they were trans, nonbinary, gay, etc thanks to David and his characters. And as a result, I won’t deny that if David himself were to be queer, it would mean a lot to me.

Do I think David is queer? It’s certainly possible. I see a lot of how I express my queerness in how david chooses to express himself, most prominently through his frequent queer coding of characters who don’t necessarily have to be played as such. This can especially be seen through his Shakespeare characters, such as Richard, Hamlet, and some would argue Benedick as well. When I was 15 I played Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, who I chose to play as a closeted young gay man harboring an unrequited crush on Romeo. I think I saw this role subconsciously as an outlet for my own repressed queerness, both of gender and sexuality, as I had experienced an unrequited crush on my female best friend the previous year which I was still in denial about. I’ve described my gender identity as “a girl with a chaotic tortured gay man inside of her that needs to be let out every once in a while”, which has never been more true than with Mercutio- a character who I might add, I took a great deal of inspiration from David when playing! In terms of using roles as an outlet for one’s queerness, I could absolutelt see this being true with David, especially when it comes to Crowley, who seems to have had an impact on David’s style, behavior, etc in a rather similar way to how he’s impacted me. I don’t want to act like David wearing pink docs means he must be gay, I think people should be allowed to wear whatever they want regardless of sexuality, but taken in conjunction with so many other things about him, it does make one wonder, and the fact that a seemingly straight man has been so many people’s queer awakening is a bit puzzling to say the least. I won’t pretend that these “signs” (if you interpret them that way), haven’t been increasing somewhat in the past year, and if I got to share my own coming out journey with the man who inspired it, I would be absolutely thrilled. I also can’t specifically think of an instance where David has SAID he is straight, as opposed to Taylor swift, who has.

With all of that said, where I personally draw the line is when mere speculation crosses into interfering with the subject’s personal relationships and the sense that one is OWED something. I believe that what matters to David more than anything is being a husband and a father. I believe he adores Georgia and his children and would not do anything in the world that he believes would jeopardize his family. As happy as I would be for David if he were to come out (probably as bi) I realize that that would put so much unwanted attention on his marriage and family and I think that’s the last thing he wants. I don’t think it’s IMPOSSIBLE that he and Michael Sheen are having a passionate love affair behind everyone’s backs, but I absolutely don’t consider it my place to insist that they are, because as much as I may feel like I do, I don’t know these people! And besides, if David were cheating on Georgia, he really would not be the person I thought he was.

So many queer people see themselves in David and his characters, and that is beautiful. And I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with having theories that David might be queer himself. However, it must be acknowledged that these theories are THEORIES, and they should not be used to invalidate people’s real life relationships- after all, it’s totally possible to be bi/pan and also be in a loving and healthy heterosexual relationship like David and Georgia at least seem to be in! If David were in fact “one of us”, I would welcome him with the openest of open arms, but unless and until he himself decides to proclaim himself that way, I will not expect anything of him other than to be the incredible artist and person we know and love.

[transformationsproject]

Our Executive Directors released a statement after this election in our newsletter today.

You can read the rest of the newsletter here: https://www.transformationsproject.org/newsletter-archive

Please consider the following statement from Alex Petrovnia (he/ze) and Sam Mendum-Purdy (she/they), co-Founders and co-Executive Directors of the Trans Formations Project, a trans-led, trans-centered and grassroots effort to resist anti-trans eliminationism at the state and local level across the United States.

We will not mince our words. Donald Trump, the man just elected to the Presidency of the United States has run explicitly on over a decade of anti-transgender rhetoric, promises of open violence, and harm to transgender well being, acceptance and safety in this country. Transgender Americans flatly refuse to be intimidated into silence. We have no doubt he will once again use his elected position to harm marginalized communities and incite violence. 

Under increasing federal persecution, we demand that state and local officials protect their trans residents, not with words or proclamations, but with legal protections and designated resources by enacting legislation, executive orders, and local ordinances that mandate explicit protections on the basis of gender identity and gender expression, our right to accurate legal documentation and lifesaving healthcare, and provide public assistance to transgender Americans forced to become internal refugees from states that refuse to guarantee these rights. 

History will judge your actions in the coming months. The world will judge you. We will judge you, both as transgender Americans and as The Trans Formations Project. Transgender Americans cannot afford to wait any longer. We are fighting for our very lives. You must too.

Choose wisely.

We will do everything in our power to inform transgender and nonbinary Americans, as well as our loved ones and allies, of how they can protect their rights and stand against hateful and discriminatory legislation. We all have a part to play in protecting and strengthening our community, whether that is through calling our legislators and demanding they fight for us, through mutual aid or simply creating spaces in our neighborhoods where we may come together in solidarity.

Our state and local officials must do their part to protect our community. It is how, together, we all survive." 

[drdemonprince]

Your post about "transitioning to escape gender but then there's more gender" has been rotating furiously in my mind since I saw it. When I first realized I was trans at age 15, I identified as agender, but I knew I wanted to go on T and get top surgery so I decided it would be simpler to tell everyone I was a trans man and that just kind of became the truth. Now 10 years later I'm sorta starting to feel like I wanna actually be agender again, but the idea of an identity shift like that at my current age is terrifying and idek who I'd tell, or how I'd do it, and I don't think I wanna stop using he/him exclusively, and I have no idea why I'm telling *you* this other than that I'm scared to talk to anyone I know about it because it feels like somehow admitting that I was wrong about the gender I fought like hell to become, even though i don't really think that's the case I think my sense of self might just be continuously evolving... but I just wanna say you talking about having a gender shift like once every several years is helping me process this rn and feel like I'm not faking anything now AND wasn't faking anything before.

Dog i am right there with you. As a kid I always thought gender was bullshit, the coercive nature of it disgusted and scared me and I rebelled against it the best that I could. I loathed being assigned to any gender category, I never identified as a "girl", but I didn't really identify with any other category either. Puberty terrified me (and of course, it does most young people, but it felt like it would only more deeply entrench the category that I was assigned to in other people's minds, it made it more difficult to escape). I had trans friends as a teen but it did not occur to me to transition because there was really no end goal that I wanted to head toward, I just knew what I wanted to avoid and not experience. I coped mostly by degendering my body with a fairly androgynous style and way of presenting myself to the word and mannerisms, but also by starving myself which was not so great, and not sustainable. I considered transness for myself, even trying on a friend's binder and presenting masculinely at certain queer events, but it seemed to me at the time like just another way in which to obsess over gender, a foolish coercive socially constructed thing that i was trying to avoid.

In my 20s, I learned more about nonbinary people and figured that explained things pretty well. I was enamored with the transition journeys of some other trans people, largely trans women more than trans masculine ones (with some trans-effeminate faggot boy exceptions), but I still didn't want to take on all the expense and uncertainty and hassle of navigating the medical system for myself. I didn't think that the pursuit of being happy merited taking on so many risks or fiddling with myself so much. I saw it as an extravagance I didn't deserve, I guess, and I also couldn't locate a target outcome that seemed desirable enough for me. I was still dealing with an eating disorder and recovering from some trauma and didn't really think about my life in the long term. I guess I still don't, haha, whoops.

Eventually I came out as nonbinary, and nobody really gave a shit. There is a lot of useless, solidarity-breaking discourse that happens online about essentially who is "more" oppressed, binary trans people or nonbinary people, and a lot of that fight amounts to the two groups shouting about the ways in which they annoy one another without there being any cogent analysis of power and where oppression comes from (let alone how much those two categories overlap).

But I will say that being a they/them was far more difficult than being a trans guy socially and institutionally, because your identity is completely illegible to every system around you. "binary" trans people struggle under this too, but i have found there are some immense benefits to having a socially and institutionally legible target gender. nobody would fucking actually they/them me. not anyone. not even other trans people and queer people. there were no public gendered spaces for me. there were no spaces for me. there was no way to move through the medical system, professional life, and other public institutions as a nonbinary person. i was still just a cis woman in everyone's eyes. including the people who claimed to support me. and it was massively frustrating.

and so i think ultimately, i took my frustrations with not being at all able to escape coerced gendering as a nonbinary person and combined that with the affinity i do feel for queer men and the general sense of misery i was still experiencing in my life and decided what the hell, i'll round myself up to being a trans guy. i upped my T dose, i dressed more masculinely, i eventually got a super masculine hair cut that really squared off my jawline and got me gendered correctly, and i started more consciously inhabiting queer men's spaces.

and it was pretty dope. for a while. i felt the rush of having gotten away with something. when people effortlessly gendered as male i felt freed at last from the pressure to be a woman. i was no longer being coerced into being something that i was not. i had escaped the enforced category so much that people couldn't even see the history of that category being pushed onto me. there was relief.

but then. as always happens. people made little comments about my handshake being too weak for a man. the hypermasc dudes at the leather bar rolled their eyes at me and all the other effeminate dudes swanning around the bar. the people who picked me up off the apps or at the sauna would always let it slip, eventually, that they had a lot of experience with trans guys, or had most recently been dating all trans guys, and it would make me feel like a stock character to them, yet another category into which all kinds of assumptions had been projected. a type not a person. a few people said my haircut made me look like i was in the military or described me as actually masculine, which was equally jarring because it was so incorrect. people tried to affirm me by saying i was such a dude, i was such a man, i was such a fag, i was such a gay bro, pawing all over me leaving the mark of all their assumptions and oversimplifications behind. i had tried to run away from gender and there i was just BASTING all the time in everybody's goddamn assumptions about gender. trans people didn't talk about it any less than cis people did, they were just as fucking confining to be around.

it honestly feels really dirty. when people try to affirm your gender constantly and can't stop talking about it, when people look past you and see only your body, your history, or the role they have typecast you in, when people use your body as an outlet for their own gender or sexuality explorations, when they keep trying to measure every single facet of existence up into being masculine or being feminine or being toppy or bottomy or any other gendered type, it's claustrophobic.

as a trans man i tried playing this whole gender game and the second i started winning i began to feel even more disgusted with myself. it wasn't a victory or an escape, it was a capitulation. exploring with my identity and presentation has brought positive things into my life and my health has gotten better as a result, and i've made wonderful friends who, like me, are disaffected by this coercive gendering system. so i don't regret any of that. but trying to make myself legible under the existing gendered system was a fool's fucking errand. i wish i hadnt done it to myself and i wish i hadnt had it pushed onto me. to be clear, it was cissexist, binarist society that forced it onto me; even when other queer people coated me in their gendered assumptions that is obviously a byproduct of societal conditioning, and it's conditioning that ive reinforced in my own behavior and outlook toward others plenty of times too. we all do it, and we are all wronged by the existing coercive gender system.

i dont even care how i fucking identify anymore and i have no intention of changing pronouns again or anything, i'm so bored of it, i just actually want off this fucking thing. im not interested in trying to make others understand what i am anymore or in who i am even being simply categorizable, i dont want to obsess anymore over how i am perceived or to attempt engineer my appearance and mannerisms to broadcast an identity to anyone. i dont even want to fuck anybody right now at all because im so sick of how much that's a gender pantomime for people. i want off this fuckin ride man im so done.

it's kind of freeing, to hit this point of complete gender apathy, and i think it is a pretty common stage of identity development for a lot of queer people who have explored multiple identities and roles over time. there is no category that i actually am, or that anyone is, there are just the frameworks that society has given us to work with to understand ourselves, and the ways in which we flatten who we are to be able to make sense of the world using those frameworks. but who i actually am is so much more contextual and mutable than all that. i am a different person in the classroom than i am on the train platform than i am in the bedroom than i am cuddling on the couch than i am when i'm working out than i am when curled up on the floor crying than i am at a big furry convention. who i am continues to change as new people come in and out of my life and age and change and my body alters and as the weather turns. who fuckin knows man it's nothing and everything. i want to let it just be

[luxiomahariel]

Hey hey! Wanted to share an experience n get it off my chest if that’s okay, you don’t gotta post it if you don’t want to. This experience is what led me to discover transandrophobia and devour as much as I could of it and I’m also reading so much intersectional feminism as a result!

Ages back, a group of former “friends” that were all adult lesbians of varying transfem and nonbinary genders, unironically Exploded at me due to a conversation that I’ve since showed a vast amount of people who have all confirmed that I was being respectful and agreeable throughout. The gist of the convo was that I “wasn’t listening to transfems” because I, as someone who grew up as a brown arab woman, simply MENTIONED that Imane Khelif was being attacked through racism as well as transmisogyny. For context, I agreed multiple times that she was being attacked through both, but the group was immediately vehemently accusing me of denying transmisogny as a “tme”.

They kicked me from the server, and the owner dmed me a link to @/transmisogny-explained so I could “better myself”, which is a blog that has plenty of good posts, but is so deeply transandrophobic that it makes it difficult to even look through. During the aftermath of this whole thing, my partners had dmed some folks from the server to clarify what had happened for them to react so intensely, and I’ll quote some of the things I noticed from them/their responses:

- every single one of them was white.

- ONLY used he/him for me during this despite rarely/never doing so otherwise. I use any pronouns.

- described me reblogging transmasc positivity posts on my personal blog afterwards as “going on a reblogging rampage” and describing my emoji-filled, friendly, worried messages as “aggressive” and “lashing out after being criticized by a trans woman Once”.

- one said that they’ve been wanting to cut me off since they found out I support trans men lesbians. Because I call myself a multigender dyke and am a man as well as a woman.

- same person also spread that I was calling trans women slurs because I had once reblogged a post where someone mentioned “b/aeddels”

- shortly after they all blocked me on all platforms, my partners showed me their reblogs were absolutely full of the most transandrophobic slop I’ve ever seen, mixed in with good posts about supporting transfems. They also masked off about other queer infighting, such as being on the wrong, cruel side of ace discourse and also needlessly hating on mspec lesbians, anyone using Achillean or the “toothpaste flag” or anything that “appropriated lesbian culture”, and stuff like that.

- turned on my partners as well (tho with less vitriol thank god) for being associated with me. Which they didn’t deserve to be cut off for :(

Basically I’m more than glad to be cut off from them cuz I had no clue of the sheer hatred they were holding for queer people that were different from them, but also I can’t ever help but keep in mind that one of the quickest ways I’ve ever gotten to be called a man, or had he/him used on me, was alongside being called “tme” and being painted as an aggressor.

Everyone involved is safely out irl, and knows fully that I am deeply closeted for safety irl. They spoke plenty of my “tme privilege” while knowing I was at home closeted against my will for my safety and suffering from it on the daily. They labeled me as a rampaging, lashing out tme man, despite rarely using anything but she/they for me beforehand. They cut me off from a huge portion of online community, knowing full well how unsafe my position was and how much I needed the support. I’ll never forget that they saw a closeted brown trans man mention racism alongside transmisogny and immediately jumped him and slandered his name with accusations and aggressive behavior.

jesus christ thats awful

bigotry always seems to come in bunches huh? transandrophobia, aphobia, homophobia, and exorsexism/enbyphobia.... yeesh.

im glad you got away from that server and hopefully my blog can be a safe space for you 🫂

[genderkoolaid]

have you seen the new feature from lyft, where female/nonbinary users can request female/nonbinary drivers? i was just wondering what your thoughts are?

personally a lot of the people i see upset about it are upset for the wrong reasons, its a lot of "creepy cis men will exploit this" which doesnt address the actual issues

in the replies to one of the posts there was an amab black nonbinary person saying they felt the least safe with white women drivers, who in their experience were most racist towards them, a lot of the replies to their comment were "this isnt about you, this is about protecting women/nonbinaries", "youre a cis man, you dont understand how difficult it is to be a woman" and things along those lines

personally i dont think this is going to make a difference, most actual minority groups will still be just as unsafe, all it seems to have done is create more hostility towards men/masculine presenting/otherwise oppressed people for not liking this new feature

Link for those curious

I mean I get the motivation here (making people feel safer), but for one making this only available to "women and nonbinary people" once again fucks over trans men. Like if a trans man wants to use this feature to feel safer, it seems like he'd have to misgender himself on the app. And if he seems like a cis man to the rider, is he going to be accused of being a predator taking advantage of the program? Would he be accused of that even if they know he's trans because he's a man?

And of course that last point also goes for anyone who might be read as being a cis man or too close to a cis man for the rider's comfort; trans women, nonbinary people assigned male, nonbinary people assigned female on T, intersex people with high T, etc etc. And that also applies to the rider- this could cause issues for trans* and intersex drivers who are viewed as cis men by driver.

Its almost like this kind of gender binary = safety mindset, while understandable, almost always finds a way to fuck over genderqueer people- specifically those seen as masculine, who are easily put into the "predator" category while also being more vulnerable. And as you mentioned it also ignores how race plays a role in this dynamic- Black and Brown riders and drivers alike are going to deal with these issues much more and much harsher than white people. & like I don't think we can separate this from the cultural impetus that white women must be preserved & protected, and that white women should be hyperparanoid of violation from (Black) men. Not that white women don't have legitimate fears of violence but there's a reason there isn't an option to choose the race of the rider you accept, and why their page about it focuses on images of white women drivers. The addition of "nonbinary" to this is just lip service.

[sekai-headcanoning]

Random hcs in no particular order:

- Everyone in wxs is autistic

- Bpd Shinonomes

- Saki uses a cane or a different mobility aid (depending on how bad) on flare up days, has POTS, used a wheelchair for awhile after getting out of the hospital due to being weak physically

- Mafuyu has low empathy

- Toya has arfid and struggles with reading faces/body language and tones pretty badly (autism)

- Trans Ena and Akito: they switched names and helped each other with shopping for new clothes

- Bigender Tsukasa, uses any pronouns, trying to grow out hair too

- Kohane likes to do An’s nails and eventually started doing Toya and Akitos

- Emu has high empathy, which leaves her overwhelmed sometimes

- Akito is in denial about having adhd

- Agender Toya, doesnt care much abt his gender and doesnt care how ppl see or refer to him, likes long skirts

(🪼 for any if u would like)

-🦇

Take one look at that group of clowns and tell me their neurons aren’t at least a little divergent.

HEAVY believer of this one, always one of the first things I mention when someone asks me about my hcs

I drew Saki with crutches once and I think it gave me a whole new perspective. I love seeing people interpret her with mobility aids, she would absolutely put stickers on them when she can

YES. This one feels canon

Touya has expressed that he tends to struggle with tone and understanding people, and his parents haven’t thought at least ONCE that maybe “hey, maybe our kids neurons are divergent”

I see this a lot with the Tenma’s, I’m so glad to see that it has spread to the Shinonomes (<- heavy transman Akito headcanoner)

Tsukasa is my favorite gender. I genuinely struggle with settling on a gender hc for Kasa because that creature is so girl yet so boy. You take one look at him and you’re flash banged with gender. LONG HAIRED TSUKASA. I always draw him with long hair, you get it

THIS IS SO CUTE. They all have matching nails. I’ve always imagined Kohane to have really nice nails for some reason

OH I LOVE THIS. Ive always seen her as the type of person to be like “If you cry, I’ll cry!” and I like the thought of it leaving her overwhelmed. Because, obviously she’s gonna have her limits with how much emotions she goes through in a day. Which is a lot.

ADHD Akito is canon he came to me in a vision and whispered it in my ear

Gender lacking Touya truthers, we rejoice🔥 (<- Nonbinary Touya liker here) AND THE SKIRTS. OH MY/pos

[velvetvexations]

apologies, but i'm about to use your inbox as a dumping ground, because i cannot STAND this idea that trans women are uniquely susceptible to "social murder" and that trans m&ms are uniquely capable of perpetrating it

in college, i was a part of a big queer group. at the time i was pre-everything, but openly identifying as nonbinary, and visibly afab. there were about 20 of us in this group, all around the same age (18-22), and a solid mix of genders and expressions. i'd say there was a roughly even spread of genders and gendered experiences, not substantially more of one than another.

at first, everything was great! i had a ton of friends! sure, they socially ostracised a (cis!!) girl, and made it a point to make a second group chat without her in it, and avoided her....but hey, that's justified, she's annoying, whatever. (aside: as a grown adult, i know now how big of a red flag that is, and it'd send me running in the other direction nowadays.) the fact that she was neurodivergent and asexual was probably irrelevant.

once she was gone from the group, they picked someone else. this person was genderfluid, also autistic and asexual. they did the same thing to her, froze her out until she stopped trying.

she was gone, they picked another. cis gay guy, also neurodivergent. outright threw him out of his dorm room because he had the audacity to have sex when his roommates were on vacation.

i was the next one (for the record.......also neurodivergent, also asexual). and i have to say, bullying when it's the group you've built your social circle around, and when they're people you LIVE with.......it's really, really rough. i had a roommate watch me develop an eating disorder and tell me to my face that i was "appropriating fat struggles." i had people follow me to where i was eating breakfast and make thinly veiled threats from right behind me. they talked to my professors about me; the rumours were so vitriolic that i was kicked from a class outright. there was an entire DEPARTMENT i could no longer take classes in safely. i struggle with all of that to this day, almost a decade later, and i have never received an apology from anyone.

you know who did that? cis people, men and women. trans people, men and women. nonbinary people of all stripes. to me, a "tme" or whatever.

"social murder" is always a possibility when your social circle is necessarily small; it's weird to pretend that queer friend groups never blow up spectacularly, or that the fallout isn't particularly damaging when your other options for friends are limited by who doesn't hate you on principle. but to act like it's along GENDERED lines exclusively, or that it's always worse when it's a trans woman, ignores all other intersections (when in my own experience, it's been neurodivergence and disability that have contributed more to "social murder" in queer friend groups than any identity) and is just.....not just cruel, but maliciously ignorant.

I'm so very, very sorry that happened to you anon. <3 I love you.