#hes different but hopefully still lovably stupid

[yellowocaballero]

One month after Marc Spector crawled inside an Egyptian temple and Jake Lockley walked out, Jake tracks down Layla El-Faouly and offers to help her take revenge and avenge her father. Jake is sure this is how flirting works. Pretty sure. It's easy to fall in love with a badass protector of the night. It's a little harder to fall in love with Jake Lockley, your everyday assassin. And there's no way Layla El-Faouly could ever fall in love with Marc and Steven. There's no way they will ever meet. Three acts on the subject of heartbreak.

AKA Jake's the host instead of Marc and we find out what kind of insane circumstances have to happen to cause someone to marry JAKE of all people.

AKA Jake finds out how long he can cosplay a normal person (a surprisingly long time, provided the person he's lying to is a complete freak)

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Suicide Squad Team A

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS! Seriously, as soon as you click that read more, you’re gonna be smacked with SPOILERS! Don’t say I didn’t give you ample warning this time!)

The world’s in danger yet again, and Amanda Waller is in need of some expendable forces to take on some dirty jobs in the name of preserving peace. Last time she did this, it seems like she hired the wrong people. Nice guy Will Smith Deadshot? Bland, boring Killer Croc? El Diablo, who became attached to a bunch of reprobates after spending a couple hours with them? The only one who was useful in that squad was Katana. She had their backs, could cut all of them in half with one sword stroke just like mowing the lawn, and her sword traps the souls of its victims. Unfortunately, she was decidedly not expendable, so what is a girlboss like Waller to do?

Easy: Assemble a brand new squad of criminals to do the dirty work. Harley and Boomerang are the only ones she brought back, because let’s be real, they’re the only ones we give a damn about. Filling out the rest of the squad are the stoic, craggy crackshot Savant; the handsome, German spear-thrower Javelin; the alien warrior Mongal; the frothing, psychotic animal Weasel; the confident and all-powerful TDK; and Blackguard, who is literally just a guy. Together, this team gets deployed to Corto Maltese to do what no one else can do, and with skills like theirs, they are absolutely unstoppable!

They all fucking die before the opening credits.

Motivation/Goals: Considering the goal of the squad is to shave time off their prison sentences by going on the mission, it’s ostensibly the reason every single one of these goons accepted the job. Savant and Weasel are pretty well established in this regard; we get to focus on Savant for much of the opening, so we can get a sense of him, and Weasel is stated to have murdered no less than 27 children. So, yeah, they need to do this mission.

The rest, though? Who knows! Why are Mongal, Javelin, and TDK in prison? How did they even get an alien like Mongal? What did they do to land in the position they’d need to go on a suicide mission? Why doesn’t this movie have flashy, intrusive cards explaining everything to us in a throwaway gag in a montage?!

Blackguard, at least, has some other motivation. He sold out the entire squad to the military of Corto Maltese, which is why they’re ambushed. Now, there’s actually some ambiguity here: Did he do this of his own volition, and was this a complete surprise, or is it, as it is heavily implied, all part of Waller’s plan and she let this happen as a diversion for the other team to get in unnoticed?

Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter what their goals are. They’re all dead within five minutes of the movie starting, with one exception.

Performance: So, the reason these guys are even worth talking about is because, despite their minuscule screentime, all of their actors manage to cram in enough humor and characterization that they’re all pretty fun and likable. Michael Rooker is as stony and stoic as ever as Savant (until he hilariously isn’t), Flula Borg’s Javelin is really sweet and charming in his interactions with Harley, and Pete Davidson’s Blackguard is just amazingly douchey and pathetic. Special mention goes to Nathan Fillion’s TDK, who has an utterly endearing and unwavering faith in his astoundingly crappy ability to… detach his arms. It’s honestly kind of beautiful. Then there’s Weasel as portrayed by Sean Gunn, who is just a hilarious crackhead of an animal man.

Final Fate: Literally every single one of them die horribly thanks to Blackguard’s betrayal. He’s the first to go, because as soon as he walks out saying “Hey guys, it’s me, the one who contacted you!” he literally has his face blasted clean off. The rest go soon after. Mongal, in one of the most astounding moments of idiocy I’ve ever seen, leaps on a helicopter despite Rick Flag telling her specifically not to. Her weight and strength send it careening out of control, which leads to it shredding Captain Boomerang to bits before exploding, burning her alive as she painfully screams and writhes in agony. TDK gets his arms shot into Swiss cheese, leading to him bleeding out since even detached they still are part of him. Javelin is also shot, but gets a dying moment with Harley where he passes her Checkov’s Javelin. Finally, after witnessing all of this carnage, Savant completely loses his shit and tries to swim away, leading to Waller blowing his head up.

You may be wondering what happened to Weasel. He appears to drown as soon as the Squad deploys, because despite being actually smart in this movie, Waller forgot to make sure everyone on the Squad could swim. Thankfully, this lovable child-murdering crackhead rodent was just sleeping, and wakes up in the first credit scene.

Best Scene: Obviously, it’s their one and only scene. It’s a magnificent slaughter that puts the X-Force scene from Deadpool 2 to shame.

Final Thoughts & Score: I’ve gotta hand it to James Gunn. Even though these losers are only onscreen for a few minutes, they all get to cram a lot of charm and personality into that time, to the point it’s actually kind of sad seeing them all die. It’s a beautiful mix of comedy and tragedy. Since their screentime is so limited, though, I’m mostly going to be grading them on style, performance, and so on rather than on villainy like normal. They are all bad guys, as they don’t really get a chance to redeem themselves like the other Squad, so I’m still counting them as villains, which means they could potentially score above an 8 (which is the highest score I’m willing to give heel-face turn villains, because they end up being better as characters in general than as villains).

I’m also not going to talk about Boomerang (I’ll talk about him when I review the original Squad) or Harley (because she not only lives, but deserves her own solo Psycho Analysis). Now here we go, from best to worst:

TDK

If you thought anyone but TDK would get top marks, you’re sadly mistaken. Seeing Nathan Fillion proudly wield the insanely lame power to detach his arms to lightly tap soldiers on the head and gently grab their guns is a sight I never knew I needed to see until this movie. The fact he just seems so darn proud about this power that he doesn’t even bother to use in any way that would be remotely useful is honestly really endearing. Frankly, the sheer fact they adapted Arms-Fall-Off Boy in any way is enough for me to give him a 10/10.

Weasel

Weasel is just disgustingly delightful. He’s just a horrible, nasty, ugly little bastard… But he’s kind of adorable? He clearly has no idea where he is at any given time and is just so goddamn freaky that I can’t help but love him. The fact that, despite being a character who in the comics is noteworthy only for dying on his first mission with the Squad, he manages to survive the entire movie is pretty impressive. Hopefully he comes back in the future, but either way he gets an 8/10 from me.

Javelin

Honestly, aside from Boomerang, his death stung the most. He’s just so cute and charming, and he doesn’t even get to fling his javelin at anyone! Thankfully, he passes it on to Harley, and boy does she ever get to use it! He’s so cute, I have to give him an 8/10. I just wish we got more of him.

Savant

Savant is just an absolutely hilarious bait-and-switch. We follow him through the prologue, with everything seeming to point to him as our main character and the Squad leader. He’s stoic, he’s cranky, and he has impeccable aim… and then we get to the beach and he just freaks the hell out and starts screaming and crying and running away like a little bitch. Seeing Michael Rooker act like he’s shitting his pants after playing a badass like Yondu is just the sort of hilarious subversiveness that James Gunn loves to do when you let him loose. The fact that he looks like, to paraphrase the TVTropes YMMV page for the movie, a “cyberpunk Tommy Wiseau” is the icing on this 7/10 cake.

Blackguard

I was prepared to hate this guy just based on how lame Pete Davidson’s costume was, and you know what? I do hate him. But I love to hate him. He’s just an utterly pathetic scoundrel and a coward, true to his name. The fact he is the first to die, as just about everyone predicted, and is killed absolutely gruesomely makes any annoyance he could provide moot, and his freeakout over being seated next to Weasel on the plane is actually kind of funny. I was originally going to give him a 6, but you know what? He can have a low 7/10. He’s like the only member of this particular Squad to actually do anything evil, so I gotta give him props for that.

Mongal

Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not blame James Gunn or actress Mayling Ng. I’m not actually mad at either of them for what they chose to do, because it is ultimately hilarious and sad. It suited the narrative of the film, and I’m not actually, genuinely mad.

With all that out of the way, Mongal is one hell of a stupid cunt. It is one thing to cause your own death with your stupidity, it is something else entirely to cause the death of a beloved character with your poorly planned attack. The fact she didn’t take into account how her weight and strength would effect an airborne helicopter makes one wonder if she is really supposed to be based on a character who can take on Superman and live to tell about it.

Let’s compare her to two similar characters to really show how bad she is. Like Blackguard, she is directly responsible for a death on the beach, Blackguard being responsible for everyone by selling them out and leading them into an ambush (and yes, I’m including him as well), and Mongal killing Boomerang with the chopper. The difference is, Blackguard’s betrayal was deliberate, he meant to sell the team out, he was actively doing something evil there, while Mongal killed Boomerang out of sheer idiocy.

Now, let’s compare her to Zeitgeist from the similar bloody massacre that occurred during X-Force’s deployment in Deadpool 2. Like Mongal, he accidentally kills a teammate. The difference is, in the case of Zeitgeist, he only accidentally melted Peter, it was a freak accident, and ultimately it does get undone by the end. Meanwhile, Mongal made a conscious, stupid decision and ended up killing her squadmate with her own idiocy. She sucks, hardcore. I don’t do this lightly, but I’m giving her a 1/10. Villains just don’t get much stupider than her.

I will giver her this, though: the makeup work on her is good. She’s lowkey kinda hot if I’m being honest. But being hot and having good makeup does not a good villain make.

[kurama-is-love]

Comfort and Harmony (Kurama x Reader)

Word count: 4.365 Pairing: Kurama x Female!Reader Genre: Comfort Fluff, family, romance, mild sexual themes (teasing) Rating: Teen (lots of sexal teasing) Summary: This oneshot is related to the „Poltergeist Movie“. If you haven't seen the movie, you may not understand why Kurama is acting the way he does. After the events with Yakumo and his underlings, Kurama fell in some kind of depression. The memories of his deceased friend Kuronue haunted him more like he wanted to admit. Kurama never showed any sign of weakness or mental breakdowns, but now, that he has human emotions, he occasionally suffers from them without realizing. After not seeing him for two weeks, you decided you pay him a visit and look how he is doing.

You were worried about Kurama. After the events with the Netherking, King Yakumo and his underlings, Kurama seemed to stopped interacting with his friends. According to Yusuke, he wasn't at school either, and he didn't really answered calls from them. The memory of his old friend Kuronue must have torn painful wounds, you knew that from the moment after Kurama had defeated the Netherlord demon, who had disguised himself as Kuronue.

For a long time you quarreled with whether you should visit him at home, at the Minamino house, or whether he would rather have his peace and leave him alone. After all, he didn't just avoid his friends and lover for no reason.

After school, you didn't want to think about it anymore and tried to distract yourself from worrying. But then you noticed that you had gone to the Minamino house by yourself when you stood in front of their front door.

"Okay, that's almost creepy .. His house is in a completely different direction than mine and I'm sure I didn't go in that direction .." you mumbled to yourself and closed your eyes before  a smile escaped your lips. "Well, then I can make sure that he's okay when I am here anyway."

You took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. It was not your first visit there and you already had a mother-child like relationship with Shiori. To be honest it wasn't difficult to build such a close relationship with such a lovable and warm-hearted woman like Shiori.

Said woman opened the door a few moments later she smiled warmly when she saw the visitor.

“[Y/n]-chan, what a nice surprise that you are coming to visit us again. How are you, dear? “ Shiori asked warmly and pulled you into a motherly hug. You smiled and hugged her back before loosening up and scratching your cheek.

“I'm fine, thanks for asking. Hopefully you too. I'm here because I wanted to see Shuuichi .. He doesn't come to school anymore and .. I just wanted to see how he is doing. " You explained. Shiori's smile fell slowly, the condition of her son was troubling her too.

"Shuuichi has been acting really weird for two weeks ..", Shiori began and looked at the ground. Two weeks, yes that was exactly when the Yakumo thing came up. "He hardly comes out of his room, doesn't eat and stares absently in front of himself .." she explained and you saw how hurt Shiori was about the mental absence of her son. You put your arms reassuringly around the older woman's shoulders and smiled confidently at her.

"That is why I am here. I'm going to kick Shuuichi in the butt so that he can at least eat again. Don't worry, Shiori-san. Shuuichi has had a lot of stress in school and with his friends lately. He doesn't mean it that way, really. " You spoke softly and hugged Shiori again. It was like Shiori was your own mother.

“Thank you for your comforting words, dear. It's just, I've never seen Shuuichi like that before. And that just worries me. " She sighed.

“Me too, believe me. Can I see him? " You asked.

“You don't need to ask permission. He's in his room. That he hasn't left in days. As I said, he doesn't even touch the food, which I put in front of the door .. "

"You know what, don't bring him food today. Just cook as usual and set the table for Shuuichi and me. I'll make sure he comes down.“ You promised her with a smile and that calmed Shiori down again when she nodded gratefully and smiled.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Really."

As Shiori moved away for you to come in, you greeted Hatanaka and Kokoda, Hatanaka's son, as you made your way to Kurama's room. If he didn't want to see you, he could still say it in your face. But now it was important to see how he was doing, when even Shiori was already very worried. That wasn't a good sign ..

In front of his room, you knocked so gently that Kurama probably thought you were his mother.

"I'm not hungry, mother." He answered slightly monotonously and you sighed softly. That was really not the Kurama you knew and you didn't want to leave him in a state like this. Without further hesitation, you opened the door to his room and stepped inside. Kurama, lying on his bed, jumped a bit when the door opened. "I said, I-" his sentence stopped when he didn't see his mother, but you. "...Oh sorry. I thought you were my mother. "

You smiled a little and carefully stepped closer.

"I'ts all right. Please forgive me for showing up unannounced, but .. We are all really worried about you. "You spoke. "Yusuke said, you haven't been to school for weeks and your mother said that you hardly ate anything." Your words became quieter and softer when you looked into his face. He looked unhealthy pale and the glow of his emerald green irises was gone. "Kurama, it is really not a good thing that you distance yourself and try to escape your depressive hole on your own."

Kurama was silent as he listened to you. Did he really looked depressed? He hadn't noticed that at all.

"I'm not distancing myself." He tried to defend himself.

“You do. You even avoid your family and ignore our messages completely. " You contradicted him directly.

"Because I need time for myself?"

A low sigh escaped you. Who could have guessed how stubborn this fox could be when he wanted to? Without saying anything else, you stepped closer until you were right in front of his bed. Then you put your arms around him and pressed him against your body.

“Then why doesn't get your condition better when you're alone? Don't fool yourself, Kurama. Being alone is the last thing you need right now. " You spoke softly and hugged him even more to your body. Kurama allowed you every touch, there was so much trust between you two. After all, that's how it should be in a relationship. The fox sighed in defeat and inhaled your scent deeply.

"Thanks." He said after a short moment of silence.

"For what?"

"That you are so persistent and always go your way." He explained and pulled away from you as he caressed your cheek and smiled slightly. That expression on his face looked much better and you smiled too.

"I have to be persistent because you never admit that you need us." You countered teasingly and were glad that you were able to lure your fox out of his reserved condition. Kurama laughed barely audibly and fell back on his pillow. Then he made a wave of his hand that signaled you to lie down next to him. He didn't have to tell you twice, of course, and you snuggled against his chest as you laid down in bed with him. There was a pleasant silence for a moment, until you spoke up again. "Kuronue must have been a very close friend."

“Yes, he was. We were like brothers. ”Kurama explained with a sad smile. You noticed his broken voice and gently stroked his cheek, trying to comfort him.

"Would you like to tell me more about him?"

"What do you want to know?" Kurama asked, surprised that you were so interested in his old friend.

"How did you meet? What was his personality? How long have you been friends? Things like that. ” You listed and Kurama nodded.

"That could take some time," he warned.

"That doesn't matter, I don't intend to leave you anytime soon." You waved your hand and Kurama chuckled softly before he breathed a short kiss on your lips.

"All right."

And so Kurama began with his stories from his past. How he met Kuronue when they were both still children and had lost their parents in a war. You asked him if demons had "children forms", which he answered with a "yes" and you giggled cutely when you imagined Youko as a child.

"What's so funny?" he asked and squeezed your shoulder affectedly as he held you close.

“Funny is the wrong word. I'm just imagining what you looked like as a kid. With your cute little fox ears, the short tail, shorter white hair. Really lovable and adorable. " You admitted, still giggling. You already saw his Youko form at the Dark Tournament.

“If you put it that way now, it almost sounds as if I couldn't be taken seriously. But I take that as a compliment. At least you don't know how I looked as human child. ” Kurama mused.

"Um, I do. Shiori has already shown me some photo albums. "

"Eh? When? Which?"

Kurama's surprised exclamation was just so cute that you had to laugh again.

“Back from your kindergarten days. You were really cute. And then I saw pictures when you were 14. You are not recognizable at all with short hair. “ You spoke and Kurama smiled.  “I can reassure you, there weren't any embarrassing pictures."

"There are no embarrassing pictures of me."

"And what about the 'shaving accident' when you had to go to kindergarten with a bald head?"

"... how do you know about it?"

"Hahaha."

"At least I didn't think there were monsters in my closet until I was 13." he teased back now and you blushed a little.

"H-Hey, first of all because you're a demon and second, you didn't had a stupid big brother who told you horror stories and even hid in the closet at night to scare me to death."

"Touché"

You both looked at each other and then shared a laugh. It was so good to see him laughing again.

Kurama went on to tell how he and Kuronue had gone on missions together and how the two were constantly endangered by Youko's spontaneity and carelessness. The expression on his face was priceless when you said that you can imagine that he must have been a chaotic as Youko.

It actually took some time before Kurama's stories were exhausted and he closed his eyes. He hadn't talked so much about his past in a long time.

“I hope it wasn't too difficult to tell me all of this. The last thing I want is to open more wounds. ", You apologized and averted your gaze, feeling a little guilty. You really hoped that your curiosity did not cause him to fall deeper into the hole of depression again. A warm hand on your cheek brought your face back in his direction and you saw him smile genuinely.

“To be honest, I also thought that it hurts to talk about it, but .. I have to say that I feel much more liberated now. It was so good to tell our stories and refresh my memories. I am not sad, [Y/n]. I am happy. Happy about the memories that I regained of my old friend again and happy that I could talk that off my mind. " He spoke softly. You smiled and leaned your head on his.

"See? You just needed someone to talk to."

“No, not 'someone'. You are exactly the person I needed without realizing it. So .. thank you for coming here. " He whispered and pulled you into a gentle and innocent kiss. You closed your eyes and returned the kiss just as lovingly, until the lack of oxygen caused the two of you to break away from the kiss. You leaned forehead against forehead and Kurama hugged his you close.

"No need to thank me. I wanted to show up earlier, but Yusuke and Hiei advised me against doing so. They said you needed this break to collect your thoughts. "

"Yusuke said something like that?" Kurama asked incredulously, causing you to laugh again.

"Let's say Hiei said it."

"I see. I really needed time for myself, but .. I didn't realize how much I would miss you during this time. "

"Oh? A phone call would have been enough and I would have been with you immediately. " You teased him and played with one of his strands of hair.

"Maybe I wanted to see how long it would take until you couldn't take it anymore without me?" He teased back and his hand caressed your clothed bum shamelessly.

"As I said, it only took me so long because of Hiei. If it had been up to me, I would have shown up on the first day you were absent. " You pouted. Kurama smiled. He wouldn't have thought it was possible, but you actually managed to lift him out of his cloud of sorrow. "Can you do me a favor?" You asked then.

"Anything you want," he said, caressing your cheek lovingly. You leaned into his touch and sighed blissfully. Oh, how you had missed this closeness to him in the past two weeks.

“Are you coming downstairs for dinner? I told Shiori to cook for both of us and that I will definitely bring you downstairs. With or without your consent, so better say yes. " You warned with a wink, whereupon Kurama's smile only broadened and softened.

“Of course I'll come with you. Even if I would like to see how you 'force' me. " He said and saw you grin.

"Oh. No you don't want to. I can assure you of that, fox. “ You whispered resolutely and then got up from your cozy, cuddled up to your boyfriend in bed, place,. “Dinner should be ready soon. Let's get down there. "

“Today is Friday, mother always does something more elaborate today. She probably have just started cooking. ”Kurama commented.

"I know. That's exactly why we're going downstairs. You can finally talk to your stepfather and stepbrother again and I'll help Shiori in the kitchen. “ You answered and when you saw how Kurama opened his mouth to say something, you cut him off. “And no, Kurama, I will not allow myself to be talked out of helping. I kind of invited myself to dinner. So it is the least that I can do and help Shiori with the cooking. ”You said and Kurama just smiled silently. He knew that if his girlfriend got something on her mind, he got stuck with arguments. And in that case he would be the last one to forbid you to integrate into his family.

The young couple left the room and came down the stairs, when Shiori heard two sets of footsteps and ran from the kitchen to the living room, which was adjacent to the stairs.

"Shuuichi ..!" She shouted and smiled in relief when she saw that her son seemed apparently better.

"Sorry for bothering you, mother." He apologized and hugged his mother tightly. Shiori shook her head in understanding.

"The main thing is that you are better. I am so glad that you are back on track. You looked so terrible the last few days .. So pale, as if the spirits of life had left you. "

"What? That bad? " Kurama asked, shocked, before Hatanaka laughed gently and put his arm around his son-in-law like a companion.

“Yes, my boy. But as I can see you had a very good therapy from this phase. You look great. “ he agreed. Kurama smiled and closed his eyes.

“I'm sorry for all the grief. But you're right, I actually had the best therapy you can imagine. " He spoke and looked at you, making you avert your gaze in embarassment and playing with one of your strands of hair.

"Ahaha. I'll go into the kitchen and help Shiori with the cooking. "

"Dear, you really don't have to. Basically everything has already been prepared. "

"I still want to help."

"Alright."

Kurama smiled contentedly when the two women disappeared towards the kitchen and he stayed in the living room with Hatanaka.

"And we can also make ourselves useful and set the table."

"Yes, stepfather."

Kurama smiled again and looked into the kitchen. Shiori and you laughed together and talked lively. He was so happy that his loved one and his mother got along so well. But then again ... Was there anyone who didn't get along with Shiori? She was downright an angel. The dearest person on earth. Only such a person could eventually change his demonic beliefs.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

During dinner you sat between Kurama and Shiori, next to her Hatanaka and Kokoda rounded off the table on the other side to Kurama. Everyone talked freely and Kurama seemed to have finally found his way back to his friendly nature.

Under the table, his hand wandered inconspicuously next to him while he was eating and gently took your hand to give it an affectionate squeeze. You looked under the table beside you and smiled as you looked up at Kurama and looked into his happily vibrating irises. You two lingered in this rigidity for a moment until Kokoda blinked and looked under the table.

"Can't you two keep your hands off each other for 5 minutes?" Kokoda asked amused and Hatanaka scolded his son with clearing his throat. Kurama and you blushed because you were caught and looked into the smiling faces of Shiori and Hatanaka. Despite this situation, Kurama did not let go of your hand.

“There is a lot of catching up to do. We haven't seen each other for 2 weeks, ” the redhead smiled, slightly cheeky.

"And whose fault is that?", You asked teasingly, which made Kokoda laugh.

"She owned you, brother."

"It would be unfair if I were always the winner in the relationship."

Kurama's quick-witted answer made you open your mouth a little indignantly in shock before looking at Kurama's smiling face. He winked at you to make you understand that it was all just kidding. But of course you knew that beforehand.

“Shuuichi, don't be so complacent. Of course you are the winner in this relationship. After all, I'm a good catch. " You said jokingly, whereupon Kokoda patted his brother on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

"Your girlfriend is really on fire, Shuuichi." He said with a grin.

"Indeed." Kurama agreed with his stepbrother and pulled on your hand, which he held the whole time, to pull you close with a little more force. Now his lips were on your ear and his voice was deep and low so that his family could not hear what he was whispering in your ear. “Without you, this dinner  would be pretty uncomfortable. But the mood is so harmonic and relaxed. Thank you, my love. " He whispered in your ear and you suppressed a blissful sigh before putting your arm around his head to move so that this time your mouth was at his ear and you could whisper back.

“It's just because you have a really great family. With them you can just laugh and feel good. Believe me, we are all happy that you’re back to being the old Shuuichi we all love. So no need to thank me. "You breathed in his ear and Kurama's smile turned into an almost embarrassed grin.

"Awww. Get a room, lovebirds. " Kokoda said, until he was scolded again by Hatanaka. Man, this boy could be even more annoying than Yusuke with his comments. This two would certainly get along well.

After this incident, the rest of the dinner was quieter and everyday things were talked about. Kurama thanked you for being so prescient and for telling Shiori a good excuse that explained his condition. He could never told her the truth. It was almost frightening to him how well you could adapt to the circumstances of his family and almost automatically only call him Shuuichi automatically when you entered the house. He often had to interrupt Yusuke or Kuwabara when they wanted to adress him as Kurama in front of his mother, because they had simply forgotten that Shiori knew nothing of his true identity.

"The food was really delicious, Shiori." You said then.

“Thank you, but actually it was partly the food that you helped with. So you basically gave yourself a compliment. " Shiori replied, laughing gently.

"Heh. I was just helping you out. I can't come close to your culinary skills. " You laughed and saw Shiori get up to get the dishes. "Stay seated. I'll take care of that. "

“Oh no, you are a guest. I shouldn't have allowed you to help in the first place. There is no way I could let you do the dishes. " Shiori sighed with a guilty conscience.

“I don't mind! The food was so delicious and you can treat yourself to some rest. After all, you have to cook and run the household for three men who are always hungry. I bet nobody will help you from this lazy himbos! " You snorted in a „not serious“ tone and pointed to the men.

"That's not true. Kazuya helps me a lot and Shuuichi also does what he can. Kokoda also has his household chores, which he does, thanks to Shuuichi. " Shiori explained with a smile.

"Really? Okay, then I didn't say anything. But I still do the dishes. I can always relax and pursue my thoughts, " You explained further.

"If you don't take mother's help, may I help you with the dishes?" Kurama's voice was soft as he put his hand on your shoulder and brushed down a few stray strands of hair. A tender smile was reflected on his lips.

"Oah, please no sex in the kitchen. That's so unhygienic. " Kokoda groaned annoyed, but he continued to grin when the couple turned away from each other, blushing.

"Of course you can. But no roaming hands." You warned and Kurama chuckled as he followed you into the kitchen. Shiori and Hatanaka looked at each other and laughed heartily.

"They are so cute together."

"Indeed. I'm so happy that Shuuichi has finally found someone who makes him so happy. "

"Yes."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

In the kitchen, you hummed happily as you washed the dishes. You really enjoyed Kurama's family. They were so warm and harmonious and you already felt like a member of the family. Above all, however, you were infinitely happy that your Kurama was back to normal and no longer isolated from everyone.

“It would be the best if we give Yusuke a call and tell him that you are feeling better. Otherwise he'll bomb me with countless messages tomorrow and want to know how my visit went. " You chuckled.

"Mhm. Or we just keep our cell phones off and just enjoy the next few days as a couple? ” Kurama suggested instead, which elicited an embarrassed smile from you.

“A tempting idea. But it's not fair for our other friends. They're very worried about you too. Please. ” You said then and Kurama couldn't help but put the towel, he was holding to dry the dishes, aside and put his arms around you from behind to hold you tight.

"Alright. A short feedback can be set up. But after that I would like to be undisturbed with my girlfriend for a while. Or do you have any objection? ”He asked and began to nibble on your earlobe. You stopped your work and closed your eyes to gasp softly.

"No, I haven't," You replied softly, whereupon Kurama grinned against your skin and kissed your neck.

"Good .." he breathed and his hands went under your shirt to caress the bare skin underneath.

"S-Shuuichi .. Not .. here." Your protests were quiet and uncertain. Kurama started sucking on your neck while his hands went to your breasts and gently squeezed them over your bra. "Your family could hear us .."

"Then you shouldn't be so loud, huh?" Kurama purred in a deep and erotic voice that left no room for discussion. You bit your lip as he put his knee between your legs from behind and used his knee to grind and rub at your crotch. His fingers flicked your clothed nipples and his mouth was hot and greedy between your neck and shoulder.

"N-No .. We can't …" it was rare that you resisted against such intimacies. In fact, you never had any objections. "... I don't trust my mouth ..." You explained afterwards.

Kurama kissed your neck gently up to your ear before looking at her questioningly. "I find your mouth trustworthy." He smiled and took your earlobe into his mouth to suck on it. You sighed and slowly moved away from him before turning around and looking deeply and apologetically into his eyes.

"You do not understand this. I'm afraid ... that the name I'm going to moan won't be Shuuichi. " You said very quietly and Kurama understood now. He smiled understandingly and pulled you into a gentle hug before kissing your forehead lovingly.

"I understand. Thank you for your care. " He whispered against your lips before giving you a gentle kiss.

You smiled gratefully and laid your head on his shoulder. "It's fine. Maybe we'll find a soundproof room here. " You smirked jokingly. Kurama glanced at you with an illegible face before lifting you up in his arms. "Wh-?"

"The bathroom is soundproof," he grinned.

"… Seriously? .." You laughed and put your hand  over your forehead when your redhead only smiled innocently at you. "And the dishes?"

“Let's foist them off to my stepbrother. He's been neglecting his duties lately anyway. Just like me in .. certain other things. " He whispered and kissed your lips gently. You blushed after realizing what he meant and just giggled happily as Kurama carried you past his family with a laugh and asked Kokoda to continue the dishes.

You disappeared up the stairs to the bathroom and were not seen again that evening.

Everything was the same again.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Furious Fu

Well, I'm surprised this is here so quickly, but here we are. The first episode of Season 4. While I was on the fence about reviewing it even though it isn't in English (though there’s one in Spanish with English subtitles), but it seems like there are people that want to see me do it anyway, so who am I to let them down? Hopefully, I won't be regretting my decision to go over every episode of this season later on.

Will Marinette's new position as Guardian lead to more storylines other than her suffering? Will the show actually resolve the whole Love Square debacle this season? Why am I asking you all these questions?

Let's dive right into the first (actually sixth because of course it is) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season, Furious Fu.

We start off with all of the Kwamis under Marinette's care asking to see Former Master by Default Fu, before Marinette reminds them, and by extension, the audience, that he erased his memory during the events of last season, making her the new Guardian. They continue to act like hyperactive children until Marinette finally caves in and carries them in her backpack, although not before they give us one of the most unintentionally creepy images in the entire show.

I apologize in advance for your nightmares tonight.

The only Kwami who stays is the Dog Kwami, Barkk, who looks like she's going to see if Marinette's parents have any wine in the kitchen once she leaves.

Marinette heads down to the train station, where she meets up with Fu and Marianne, a former confidant/old flame who he recently reunited with. It turns out that inbetween Seasons 3 and 4, not only has Fu been living in London with Marianne while taking up painting as a hobby, but they've actually gotten married. So yeah, while Marinette has to deal with the stress of protecting some of the most dangerous artifacts on the planet, Fu's just been chilling in London, oblivious to the fact that he forced a teenage girl to do his job for him. Nothing but the best from this show's wise and lovable “mentor”.

After heading back home, Marinette sees a strange man who has broken into her room and demands to know where she got the Miracle Box from.

This is Master Su-Han, the former Guardians before Fu accidentally killed them all. He's naturally not happy with the “improper” form of the Miracle Box (he's not the only one) and wants to know how Marinette got in in the first place. When she says she got it from Fu...

Yeah... while it isn't as obvious as “Animaestro” and “Felix”, you can kind of tell that this is a “turn the critics into enemies” episode. Even though the criticism towards Master Fu isn't as prevalent as the criticism those episodes were meant to call out, there have been some fans on Tumblr and Reddit who have criticized Fu's actions in the show, calling out his decision to make Marinette a guardian in particular. Likewise, Su-Han is meant to be a strawman to mirror the complaints, and show why they are ridiculous. Though ironically, Su-Han's dialogue and rules also unintentionally highlight how incompetent the Order of the Guardians was, but we'll get to it later.

But because the script says she has to, Marinette defends Fu's decision to make her Guardian. She even refers to Fu being the reason the Guardians were all killed in the first place as a “mistake”.

NO HE DIDN'T! How was what Fu did in any way a sacrifice? When he made Marinette the new Guardian “Miracle Queen”, All Fu really did was make the box float for a bit before it immediately landed back in Chloe's hands. If the box had magically floated over to Ladybug in the process, I'd see why Fu would have done it. It'd still be reckless, but it would be a good way to escape from Hawkmoth and Mayura's trap. Hell, the Kwamis had already refused to let Chloe transform when she had their Miraculous, so there was no real threat there. We don't even know if Hawkmoth knew how to transform with the other Miraculous. So again, I raise the question: How was Fu forcing Ladybug to take his job while he gets to paint in London a heroic sacrifice? How can you even frame that as anything but cowardly?

Su-Han notices a few of the Kwamis are missing, and takes notice of Plagg, who was shown to devastate Paris with a single tap to the ground, being missing in particular. He's even more horrified to see Marinette's earrings, because, get this, Guardians aren't allowed to wear Miraculous.

You're telling me that if someone gets their hands on a Miraculous and goes rogue, the Guardians are supposed to fight them with their bare hands? They don't even explain it by saying something like how the Guardians aren't supposed to be tempted by the power of the Miraculous, we're just supposed to accept that rule as fact. How are you supposed to fight someone with superpowers like illusions, shapeshifting, teleportation, and time travel on your own?

So Su-Han orders the Kwamis back into the Miracle Box (still don't get why they have to listen to him) and lists off some of the rules Marinette broke like he was a Ferengi reading the Rules of Acquisition. He does all of this while voicing several concerns fans have about Marinette being Guardian, but rather than being out of concern or compassion for her, it's condescension.

It's pretty easy to understand Su-Han's side of the story, and if the episode actually acknowledged it, I wouldn't mind. But no, everything he says is automatically supposed to be wrong, because when has anything with a different viewpoint portrayed as a good guy in this show?

Su-Han orders Ladybug to take him to see Cat Noir before demanding they both hand over their Miraculous, and we learn something interesting about the Order of the Guardians.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

Of all the stupid Guardian rules Master Fuckup didn't blindly follow, it's the rule that Miraculous are ONLY SUPPOSED TO GO TO ADULTS!? Why the hell did he even recruit Marinette and Adrien in the first place if Miraculous for adults to use? What did he even see in them? All they did was help him once!

And again, we're supposed to see Su-Han as wrong for doing this. Why can't Ladybug simply tell Su-Han about Hawkmoth and ask for his help before she returns her Miraculous to him? That way, Hawkmoth is defeated, and Su-Han gets the Miraculous back. And it's not like Ladybug doesn't try to talk things out with Su-Han, so you can't say she didn't consider it. Oh wait, that would imply Su-Han is supposed to have a point in his claims.

Though to the show's credit, Su-Han's words do get to Ladybug, causing herself to doubt herself and her ability to stop Hawkmoth, but Cat Noir helps to reassure her, saying he'll only return his Miraculous only if she asks him to. It's a brief moment, but it's nice to see him place his faith in his partner in a platonic way.

Less nice to see is Cat Noir finding out that if Ladybug gives up her position as Guardian, she'll lose her memory like Fu. Except... Cat Noir was there when Miraculous Ladybug failed to restore Fu's memory, so why does he see this as new information? Did he only think it would happen to Fu? Did he lose some of his memory at the end of the last season?

This information is enough for Cat Noir to start a fight with Su-Han, with Ladybug abandoning any attempts at diplomacy by declaring that Cat Noir won't lose his Miraculous. It's a little frustrating to see them engage Su-Han, but again, this is meant to show Cat Noir trying to protect Ladybug so she doesn't lose her memory. This scene still does a good job showcasing the bond the two heroes have. It's far better than anything we got from the New York special.

Su-Han is trained in... Oh God... Mirakung-Fu, which somehow gives him the ability to predict Ladybug and Cat Noir's moves before they make them, comparing it to his rage “adaptating and always finding a way”. Translation: Astruc ripped off something else from Dragon Ball, Ultra Instinct. Ladybug distracts Su-Han and gets the Miracle Box, while Cat Noir gets his staff. After briefly trapping him under some rubble (which I guess doesn't kill him because of his “Mirakung-Fu”), the two heroes escape.

Meanwhile, Shadowmoth, the upgraded form of Hawkmoth that I'll talk about in his debut proper, senses Su-Han's negative emotions and sends out an Akuma after him. Su-Han sees Fu painting in the park, and steals his cane, thinking it's a Guardian's staff he can sue to track down the Miraculous. When the Akuma reaches him, Su-Han uses a technique to repel the Akuma completely. I like this idea. It makes sense that a monk would find a way to mask their emotions and achieve enough of a state of zen to ward off an Akuma. The Akuma instead reaches Fu, turning him into Furious Fu.

I like the design of this Akuma. While I personally thought it could have made for a more interesting fight if he was still short (like Yoda's fight scenes in the prequels), I think it's really clever to incorporate Fu's Hawaiian shirt into what looks like a Chinese gi. Furious Fu's powers are kind of like Evilustrator, only he has to draw down a Chinese character on a talisman before the power takes immediate effect, and lacks the weakness Evilustrator had with his tablet being easily breakable, with the corrupted object, a paintbrush on his ear, being harder to reach.

Ladybug and Cat Noir retreat to the unnamed stadium that the local school has gym class in for some reason, where they're confronted by Su-Han, who in turn, is confronted by Furious Fu. This leads to a three-way fight for the Miracle Box, which they all kick around like a soccer ball. Cat Noir even gets a goal. All around, pretty fun bit, though not for the Kwamis, I guess.

As soon as he sees Furious Fu get the Miracle Ball, Su-Han hides while Ladybug and Cat Noir get beat up by the Akuma. While he does get up eventually, he's still taken out by Furious Fu. Apparently, Su-Han's “Mirakung-Fu” is only useful against Miraculous holders, not supervillains created with the powers of a Miraculous. How the hell does that work? That's like being a trained soldier in the Marine Corps who's terrible at laser tag.

Ladybug uses her Lucky Charm (again, I'll talk about the suit change for its proper debut episode), and gets a pair of wire cutters. She uses them go get a soccer ball from a nearby container while Cat Noir keeps Furious Fu busy. Furious Fu, in turn, uses one of his talismans to predict Ladybug's plan, and manages to immobilize both heroes, but not before Ladybug traps the soccer ball underneath Cat Noir's arm before Furious Fu can use his Cataclysm against him.

How do they stop him? By having Marianne casually walk up to him and break the paintbrush while he's distracted. Honestly, that's a pretty funny payoff. Not “Puppeteer” or “Bakerix” funny, but it's still one of the funnier Akuma defeats I've seen. Another funny joke is Cat Noir using his Cataclysm on a soccer ball before he accidentally uses it on Ladybug and Marianne for their post-victory fist bump.

Later on, after Marinette sees Marianne and Fu off while the latter continues to avoid responsibility, Su-Han apologizes to her, and decides to trust her. He'll still take away the Miracle Box if she screws up, but it's a start to someone Marinette can at least consult Guardian to Guardian.

And honestly? I think this episode is a pretty good start to Season 4. It really feels like the writers are learning from their mistakes in Season 3.

Yes, Marinette is blamed by Su-Han, and while it is frustrating to turn Su-Han into a strawman, unlike other Season 3 episodes where Marinette is blamed, the blame itself is unwarranted, and by the end of the episode, it looks like Su-Han is willing to change, as he apologizes to Fu after he's de-evilized. That's a lot more than I can say for Astruc's other straw characters like Chloe and Felix. Sure, some of Su-Han's concerns are brushed off, but it's still a start.

From what little we saw of him, Cat Noir is also a lot better, really showing the character development promised towards the end of “Miracle Queen”. He's thankfully turned down the flirting, and I can only hope he keeps his promise as the season goes on. I hope we get an episode or two showing his perspective on Ladybug becoming Guardian, and how he feels less like her actual partner now. You know, something that can reinforce their bond as partners.

My biggest complaints from the episode really come from the way Fu is portrayed, and even then, it's only because of events that happen because of what he did last season and how much of a screw-up he is, despite the narrative trying to tell the audience he isn't. Then there's the revelation that Fu's cane has the ability to track down Miraculous. So... we're seriously learning this now? Why didn't Fu use it earlier to look for the two missing Miraculous? He literally has a Miraculous detector! But hopefully, the consequences of Fu's actions won't affect this season too much.

So yeah, I'm actually feeling pretty optimistic about this season so far. Maybe Season 4 won't be that bad after all.

Oh.

Oh no...

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Sweet Pea//you like her better

Request: sweet pea. reader loves him but he kisses Betty (or whoever) at a party because he wants to piss off/make the reader hate him because she’s always loved him (she doesn’t know that he knows about her love) & the reader not wanting to look at him because she finds out that he did it to hurt her? Hmm fluff at the end but the reader makes him earn her attention/trust back for a bit? Fluffy ending maybe? Thanks bud

hey!! it’s angsty with a happy ending! what more could you want? how is everyone? i hope you’re all well. and i hope you like this!! 

Do you know when you first meet someone and you know from the first encounter that they’re special? 

That’s what you felt the first time you met Sweet Pea. Standing beside each other at one of Veronica’s parties, both of you were confused as to what you were even doing there. 

You and Veronica barely said a word to each other in all the time she’d been here and the only time Sweet Pea had spoken to her, the words they exchanged were just insults. 

So you weren’t entirely sure why you were there, but when Sweet Pea spilt his drink down your t-shirt and instantly started to apologize, his brown eyes meeting y/e/c ones, you know he was something else. 

The rest of the night was spent on the balcony talking about how much you didn’t want to be there, however the more you talked the more you didn’t want to leave. 

And by the time the sun came up and the neon lights faded, you’d made a friend for life...and hopefully something a little more. 

He’d walked you home and the two of you swapped numbers and by Monday he knew more about you than most of your childhood friends did.

That became a problem though, because the more you talked to him, the more you felt yourself falling for him, until after a year of friendship you longed for something more. You were well and truly in love with him, no looking back. 

And it was so obvious to everyone but him. Or at least that what you thought. You thought your lingering looks and yearning wan’t that noticeable. And in tv shows, whenever someone is in love with their friend, everybody but them see it. 

But like you thought when you first met him, Sweet Pea was special, and so he knew from the first moment that you were falling for him. He just couldn’t figure out how to get out of it. 

At first he hoped you would just forget about it, it would just be a stupid little crush that would last a few weeks and then you’d realize that in fact he wasn’t the lovable giant that you so often referred to him as. He was deeply flawed with rough edges and dislikable personality. 

But as time went on and he opened up more and more in the hopes that you’d just see him as some loser from the southside, you saw him for who he really was. A sweet guy, born on the wrong side of the tracks with so much potential and a smile that could light up the whole of Riverdale. 

Now he was constantly aware of the staring when he wasn’t looking, or how you’d blush whenever he would brush past you. And the fact that you’d do anything for him. It killed him to see just how much you’d do for him, and it killed him even more to know that he’d do the same for you. 

He wants to love you. God, he wants to love you and be loved by you properly. 

But the southside has made him a shell of who he should be and now he doesn’t know how to love someone properly. He watches as his friends stumble through their relationships and cringes because some of the things they do are questionable at best. 

He doesn’t know how to fully open himself up to a person and you deserve someone that will love you the way you deserve. He doesn’t want to hurt you, that’s the last thing he wants. He’d rather die than hurt you. But sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to in order to help the ones you love

...even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. 

It’s Friday night which means another party thrown by someone he barely knows. This time it’s Veronica again, and he stands in the same corner he always does, holding two drinks while he keeps his eyes trained on the door waiting for you to turn up. 

Half an hour after you said you’d be here, you turn up with Toni and Cheryl, and as soon as you walk through the doors, he watches you look for him. 

“Y/n!” He shouts but its no use, the music’s too loud and there’s so many people you can barely move. So instead he waves his arms around and your eyes light up when you find the familiar jacket, and then the serpent attached to it. 

You tell Cheryl and Toni you’ll catch up with them later before pushing through the mass of people. Sweet Pea places the plastic cups down and grabs your hand to pull you through the last few people, and when you stumble he steadies you. 

You stare at him, a soft smile on your face as you look up at him and he quickly clears his throat and stands up straighter. 

“So, what time do you call this?” He asks and pretends to check his watch. 

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes. “Cheryl insisted on doing my makeup and you know what she’s like. This is my third look of the night.” You complain but do a little twirl. A smile twitches at his lips as he watches the dim lights dance over your skin, you do look good. 

Who’s he kidding, you always look good. You could be wearing a trash bag and you’d still be the prettiest girl on the planet, not that he’d tell you that. 

“Yeah.” He shrugs and looks you up and down. “You look alright.” 

“Ass.” You mutter and slap his arm lightly. “Is that mine?” You point to the drink on the side table and he nods, handing it to you. 

“Yeah, I spat in it so I knew which one was which.” He says and you roll your eyes as you take a sip. 

“Thanks.” You mumble and settle beside him. The two of you lean against the wall and watch as people dance, puke and kiss, sometimes all at the same time and your expression mirrors Sweet Pea’s disgusted one. 

“How long have you been here.” 

“Hours.” He replies and you send him an annoyed look. 

“You just like to hang out at Veronica’s house do you?” 

“Yep. It’s my favourite thing to do.” He replies. “About 45 minutes. Fangs was with me but he disappeared after a few minutes so I’ve just been here...waiting for you...all alone.” He pouts and you send him a sympathetic look. 

“Aww.” You pinch his cheeks. “I’m sorry I made you wait so long.” 

“Its fine.” He shrugs. “I got some peace and quiet before you turned up.” He teases and your look at him offended. 

“Rude.” You mumble and take another drink. “Do you know, I was going to offer to get you another drink but after that, no chance.” 

“Pleaseee.” He begs. “I’ve been holding at empty one for half an hour because I was waiting for you. And I could have drank yours, but I didn’t because I’m such a great friend.” He pleads and sends you another pout. 

That stupid damn pout. It works every time and he knows it. 

“Fine.” You grumble and push yourself off the wall. “What do you want?” 

“Anything.” He replies. “Just as long as it gets me drunk.” 

“Just vodka it is then.” You smile brightly and wave the empty cup around. 

“Please, mix it with something!” He calls after you but you’ve already disappeared into the crowd. He see’s you emerge on the other side and a soft smile appears on his face as he watches you and Fangs talk for a few minutes. 

While you’re talking he quickly pulls his phone out and types a message to you. 

‘please hurry...i’m dying...of dehydration’ 

The buzzing in your pocket makes you pause your conversation with Fangs so you can check your phone, and when you do you have to hide the smile as you look back past the crowd and flip him off. 

‘then perish’ 

You reply and watch him open it, his jaw drops as he looks back at you and you send him a sweet smile before eventually walking into the kitchen. 

For ten minutes he waits patiently by the wall for you to come back, but when it get’s closer to twenty, which feels more like a lifetime, he decides to go find you. Only a lot worried that you’ve passed out or injured yourself somehow. 

But what he finds is so much worse. 

He hears your voice first and a smile makes its way onto his face, and then he hears Toni and Cheryl and his eyebrows furrow as he tries to decipher what you’re taking about. You sound worried, and you’re speaking too quickly for him to properly hear, so he stands just outside the doorway and hopes the three of you don’t notice him. 

He knows he shouldn’t, it’s not cool to spy on your friends. But he wants to know if you’re okay, and why whatever is wrong, you don’t just talk to him about.  

But then he hears it and he realizes why you haven’t spoken to him about. 

“Just tell him.” Toni says, her tone kind as she speaks to you, and Sweet Pea’s eyes widen. 

What? Nope. This can’t be happening. 

He knows he should leave now before it gets any worse, but he can’t. He needs to know what you’re going to do.  

“But what if he doesn’t like me back?” You reply and he can hear the huff in your voice. 

That’s not possible. He liked you from the moment he met you. There’s was something about you that was different to all of the other northsiders. You were kind, and you didn’t care about where he came from or who he was. You just seemed happy to be making a friend. 

He’d likened you to a golden retriever, maybe not the best thing to say to a girl you’ve just met, but your smile just brightened and he knew you were the one. 

‘don’t let go of this one’ he remembers thinking. But what if he has no choice? 

To love Sweet Pea is like being cursed, or at least thats what he thinks. He has no family left, and it’s only a matter of time before Toni and Fangs figures out that he’s bad news. 

But to you, loving Sweet Pea is the most magical thing in the world. 

“What? Are you being serious? Of course he likes you back.” Cheryl interjects, she sounds slightly annoyed and Sweet Pea gets the impression that you’ve had this conversation before.  

“Bu-” 

“No, buts.” Toni cuts you off. “Just tell him already. My god the two of you just need to kiss and be done with it, we’re all sick of the gooey eyes.” She continues and Sweet Pea feels his cheeks heat up. 

“Are you sure?” You ask. 

“Yes!” They both say at the same time. 

“Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll tell him later.” 

“Good. And then hopefully you two can stop moping about each other and just be together already.” Cheryl replies. 

“He mopes about me?” You ask with hope in your voice. 

Sweet Pea doesn’t mope...okay, maybe he does. 

“Well, he doesn’t do it out loud, but you can tell.” Toni shrugs. 

“Bu-” 

“Toni!” Cheryl’s shouting cuts you off and Sweet Pea quickly moves back to let them past, luckily they don’t notice him and he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Coming.” Toni replies. “Good luck.” She looks back at you and you send her an uncertain smile. 

“Thanks?” 

Fuck. What does he do now? You’re going to confess your undying love to him and he’s just going to stare at you like a complete idiot for two minutes before stuttering a really shit excuse as to why now isn’t the right time and then you’re going to cry and hate him forever. What does he do? Oh god, fuck, okay you’re coming over. Quick, erm.

“J!” He shouts and turns around to face the purple haired girl. 

“What do you want Sweet Pea?” She asks with an eye roll and he already hates himself for what he’s about to do. 

“I’m really sorry about this but please go along with this I’m begging you.” He whispers in her ear and you watch as she looks at him confused before he kisses her. 

Yours and J’s expressions matches each other. Wide eyed and horrified. 

“Hey, Y/n. What’s up?” Fangs asks, the smile on his face fades when he notices what you’re looking at and he tries to reach out to you. “I’m sorry, Y/n.” 

“It’s fine.” You move away from him. “I’m good.” You say more to yourself than him. “Everything’s fine. I’ve er, I’ve got to go. Tell him I said bye.” 

“Y/n.” He calls after you. Toni and Cheryl appear beside him and they watch confused as you leave. But when Fangs points back at Sweet Pea they let out a small ‘oh’. 

“Sweet Pea!” J pushes him away. “What the hell?” 

“I know. I’m really sorry but I-” 

“Idiot.” She mutters and storms off leaving him standing in the middle of the floor. 

“Sweet Pea? What the hell was that about?” Toni scolds and he walks past her. 

“Just leave it T.” He sulks and walks out into the cool air. He can see walking down the street, your jacket pulled tight around you and he desperately wants to follow you, but he knows it’ll only make things worse. 

You’ll either shout at him or forgive him and he doesn’t know which is better. 

So instead he walks in the opposite direction and hopes that you’ll understand why he did it eventually. 

----

The next day Fangs and Toni come over to see how you are, but after five minutes and way too many ‘i’m okay’s’ they’re sent away and you spend the rest of the weekend crying and cursing Sweet Pea, even though you told them ‘as long as he’s happy, i’m happy’. 

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday comes and goes and you don’t really say much to anyone. You mainly just sit on the outside of your friendship group and don’t say anything. Sweet Pea sits opposite you doing the exact same thing and your friends all exchange glances. 

Its not the same without you laughing loudly at a joke he’s told that nobody else found funny. Or with him stealing your food and you shouting at him. It’s just not the same without you two. 

By Thursday though, Sweet Pea feels like it’s gone on for too long, he needs to apologize and make things right. So he corners you when you’re on the way to class with Betty, your expression hardens as soon as you see him and he feels his chest and stomach tighten, it’s like someone is twisting the knife already in there, but he stabbed himself in the first place. 

“Y/n. I’m really sorry about the other day. I didn’t want to you to find out like that.” 

“Okay.” You shrug and he sends him a pleading look. You really want to tell him that everything is okay, but you can’t. You know you should be happy that he’s happy, he is your best friend after all, but you just can’t force yourself. 

It hurts to much to think about, let alone to look at him. 

“Y/n. I’m really sorry.” 

“I said okay Sweet Pea.” You huff. “Can I go now?” 

“I know you don’t mean it.” He says. 

“Well, thats as good as you’re going to get soooo.” Betty watches you in silence, not really sure what to do. Should she walk away and leave you to talk it out? Should she stay for moral support? 

“I need to tell you something.” He says and takes a deep breath. You stop and look at him, your eyes narrowing as you take in the guilty expression. 

“What?”

“I think it’s better if we go somewhere else.” He tries but you stand your ground. 

“It’s fine. You can tell me here.” You say and cross your arms. 

“Fine.” He lets out a long sigh. “I know you like me...more than like me. I have for a while and I only kissed J so you’d stop.” He admits and your jaw goes slack. 

You’re sure you can feel your heart being ripped at two and you’re very sure you, Betty and half the school has just watched Sweet Pea stamp on it too. You suck in a breath and Betty places a gentle hand on your arm for support. 

“Okay.” You say and bite your lip. 

You refuse to cry in front of you, you can’t think of doing anything worse...apart from loving him. 

“I’m so fucking sorr-” 

“Do you know what hurts more?” You ask, cutting him off and he stares at you. “What hurts more is that you did all of this as still my ‘friend’. It doesn’t matter how I feel about you, but I’m still your friend, or at least I was until you decided to deliberately hurt me instead of just talking to me.” You rant and let out a shaky breath at the end, you so close to crying you can feel it. As soon as he walks away you’re going to dissolve into a puddle of tears, but for now, you need to make him think you hate him. 

You really want to hate him, but you can’t. You don’t like him, far from that. You can barely look at him, and you make sure to tell him. 

When you met him you he was wonderful, you couldn’t stop looking at him and you never wanted to. But now it makes your chest ache and your head hurt to look at him and remember what you used to be and how he made you feel. 

“You didn’t talk to me either.” He replies, crossing his arms and thats the final straw. 

“Can you blame me? Especially after that?” You say and he’s never seen you act so cold. “Can we go to class now Betty?” You ask and she nods quickly, side-stepping Sweet Pea and pulling you with her. 

“Y/n.” Sweet Pea calls after you and for a split second he thinks you’re going to come back to him.

But when you do turn around, it’s not what he wanted.

“Just leave me alone.” 

----

It seems that Sweet Pea can’t take a hint. Which in the past you found endearing, but now you’ve taken off your rose tinted glasses, it’s just annoying. 

And so when he tries to talk to you outside of yet another class, you snap. 

“What!” You stop abruptly and the few students that were following you quickly move around you, wanting to be as far away as possible. Even Sweet Pea takes a few steps back and it makes both of your chests ache. “Sweet Pea, I’m not in the mood to be bothered. What do you want?” 

“For you to forgive me and for everything to go back to how it was before?” He says hopefully but you just stare at him. 

“Not gonna happen.” You shake your head and start walking away. But it seems he’s even more persistent than usual today and so he follows you until he’s stood in front. 

“Then I’m going to keep waiting outside your classes and putting notes in your locker and texting you and sending Toni and Fangs to find out how you are until you do.” 

“Isn’t that bordering on stalking?” You ask bored. 

“...Maybe. Maybe I’ll think of something less creepy, but if you hear me out neither of us will have to deal with that.” He tries and forces a smile. 

“...fine.” You mumble and cross your arms over your chest staring at the floor. 

“I’m sorry.” He says and you look at him harshly. 

“What for?” You ask and he stares at you confused. 

“What?” 

“What exactly are you sorry for Sweet Pea? Is it for knowing how I felt and not saying anything, or is it for kissing someone else to purposelessly hurt me?” 

“Y/-” 

“Or is it for making me fall in love with you in the first place?” 

“Y/n.” 

“It doesn’t matter Sweet Pea. You’re forgiven. Happy?” 

“Not really no.” He shakes his head in frustration. 

“Then what?” 

“I want you to know why I did it.” 

“Here we go.” You mumble but he just ignores you. 

“I did it because I was scared.” He says making you scoff and rolls your eyes. “I was. Because you’re brilliant and lovely and kind and smart and clever and hot and you know what you want. But I’m not and I don’t. You are far too good for me Y/n, I knew that the moment I met you. And then I noticed you change and at first I thought it was something I’d done wrong, but then I realized it was because you liked me and I couldn’t handle that. You are far too good for me, I think I’ve just proven that, and so I tried to push you away, not too much because I still wanted you in my life, I just didn’t want you to waste your own.” 

“Sweet Pea.” Your expression softens and you feel yourself slowly starting to forgive him. “Why didn’t you just talk to me in the first place instead of doing all of this. I would have understood. But for the record, you are all of those things and more, and I mean that as just a friend. I promise.” You say and he cracks a smile. 

Something clicks and and the two of you feel yourself fall back to how you were. It may not be the same as it was but you think you can get there again. 

“Would you like to walk me to class?” You ask and he nods quickly. 

“Of course.” He grins and the two of you fall into step. “By the way I do love you too.” 

“What?” You stop, your lips parting as you stare up at him.  

“But more importantly you’re my best friend. These past two weeks I’ve felt more lost than I ever have. And that’s because you weren’t by my side making life bearable. I had to sit through Mrs Rosebowl’s math class by myself, it was hell.” 

The two of you stare at each other for a few seconds, the rest of the world moving on around you but for you time stands still. He really wants to kiss you, you really want to kiss him and you can feel yourself losing breath as he slowly leans in. 

But the warning bell rings and pulls you from your thoughts making you jump apart. You force yourself to continue walking and he follows a few moments after, soon catching up with you. 

“You know you’ve got soooo long to until I forgive you right?” You ask and he rolls his eyes playfully. “Seriously, I’m going to make your life a living hell.” 

“I know.” He nods. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”  

“Good.” You smile. “Look forward to it.” 

“Oh I am.” 

“Okay.” You shrug. 

“Okay.” 

“Shut up.” You giggle and nudge him gently.  

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

I've been asking around this one question for a few people now, because I like hearing what people have to say about it...

So I wouldn't mind it if you shared a list on who's your favourite (from Most to Least) from the Obey Me! Crew (Brothers & Formally Undatables)...

Also, please feel free to ramble on about why you placed them in each space...

O-oh dear-

First off, you spoil an infodumper like me too much lol (I am happy sfjsjjdjn) and I am going to go overboard (and changing the order of things) for my own pleasure.

And so...

Second off...

Gladly

Here is My List of LEAST to MOST Favorite of The Obey Me Boys ^^

That I just did on spot because I didn't have one ready because it's hard for me to rate the characters as they all have their traits and even their flaws add something good to the character but I'll be dammed if I don't enjoy deep frying my brain for fun.

Please take note I am taking this literally and all characters in here are FAVORITES, just some will be more and some less, which mean I LIKE ALL OF THEM. Yes, I have changed my opinion on a certain two characters I have said to not like, and I am not ashamed to say I was incorrect.

So let's start this off with the right foot shall we?

#12 | Diavolo

He is still infuriating I won't deny that. And I won't pity him though he is a tragic character that is so lonely he overrates any kind of affection, that doesn't know how to interact with others without exagerating, that has no one to give an oposing opinion because of his status and so it's increasingly hard for him to learn to make good decisions, and with his goal to unite the realms I could almost say he is naive. He's a bit of a puppy always wanting some pets, but as a not dog person, I don't have enough in me to be always playing, so to me an overly needy puppy can end up getting annoying, though of course, I can't help it but at least give it a few pets before going my way.

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#11 | Simeon

Yes in the end I actually liked him all along but was just in denial after I thought about it. Simeon is a good character, he's a dick even though he's an angel and he doesn't bother to be any different, he definetelly has his own set of rules he follows and I believe he would be a Chaotic Good just like me. He's well made. And as much as he is pretty unlikeable, the mystery, the questions, the fact that he has always been the same we just didn't get to interact with him much to see it, to have a naturally asshole character put down some of his walls to help us even if part out of possible self interest. And of course he's also fun. Simeon is charming, and I have come to appreciate all of him.

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#10 | Luke

A kid. A brat and a tsundere. I Absolutely love the character development and it's extremelly adorable. He's now officially our guardian angel and I love that. He was just a prick that I rolled my eyes so hard whenever I encountered him in the game and now he's just a lil' bratty brother that is fun to tease and squish the cheeks off. He's a really nice kid in the end, just previously ignorant, but still nice because he was willing to learn and change despise saying he didn't want to. I personally can understand Luke as I was pretty alike as a kid. Again, he's a nice kid I would gladly buy some balloons and cotton candy for.

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#9 | Barbatos

The number 1 buttler, he's just, a good dude l o l. He has his distance from everyone due to his position but that doesn't make him any less interesting. He is mysterious and powerful and yet he feels, so chill. He's also fun and actually has a pretty soft personality in which he knows exactly when to switch off to strict. He's a character I respect and wish existed in real life so I could be friends with (╥﹏╥).

.

#8 | Solomon

Shady sorcerer is actually a pretty good guy though mildly insane. He is actually responsable (and takes it pretty seriously seeing he's basically the representative of the human realm). He's kind though again, mildly insane, and diligent. He may have terrible food but the fact he does it with good intentions is pretty adorable, he just likes to follow his instincts and be spontaneous because he likes new and exciting things. He probably has quite a bit of angst to him due to his not only immortality in not aging but also by not being able to be killed but even so it feels that, contrary to how many human immortals end, he still hasn't lost the light in his eyes and can still enjoy things and enjoy being alive, and that is most likely thanks to other immortal/long living beings such as demons.

.

#7 | Lucifer

Yep. Lucifer is actually a really fucking great character, he's fond of his family, hard worker to the point of destroying himself, self punisher, elegant, pretty af, cute at times. But not exactly my most favorable cup of tea. Seeing I can see through his bullshit all his posessiveness, all his pettiness, all his actions just becomes ridiculous and annoying. And theres also a problem with the fact we always end up submiting to him, I don't want that. For every time he disrespects me I want him to kneel and kiss my feet. His pride collides with my own, and his decisions do too. But even so he is very reliable and so he has my respect for that, I do want to hug him and tell him he deserves nice things and that he can rest now this is not the war anymore you don't have to bow down to anyone anymore you didn't doom your brothers but freed them instead, but then again he makes bad decisions because he has zero braincells for emotional intelligence and that pisses me off and makes me just want to yeet him off a cliff. Yeah Lucifer, I would gladly kick you in the balls with ♡°.•love•.°♡.

.

#6 | Leviathan

Surprising is it not? But it's true, I often focus on Levi due to him not only being pretty alike to me but also because he's related to many things I have been familiar with since I was born: animes and games. His anxiousness is relatable, the outcastness is relatable, the awkwardness is relatable, the obsession is relatable, the references are relatable, the infodumping is relatable. He's very relatable to me, but not my most favorite, and all because of his envy. He's a guilt tripper, and though I am long immune to it in real life due to extreme exposure to it from my family, it still is enough for his rank to go down. I still love him though, but mostly as the character that represents the thing I am most familiar with in life: myself.

.

#5 | Beelzebub

Big puppy, he's the type of guy who will talk to plants. He has big and strong hands that could crush anything and yet he will do his best to handle some things gently. He's chill and non judgemental, loyal to the core. Once you win him over, you win him over, he would die for you. He is purposely childish at times and it's cute. He is amazing. I wish I could enjoy eating like he does. He's the only character I truly feel hurt for, as he is deeply inflicted by survivor's guilt and it just pains me I can't comfort him because he isn't real ಥ‿ಥ

.

#4 | Belphegor

Hoh boy. The brat. The fandom itself is pretty divided on their liking of Belphie and it's understandable lol. But I personally understand Belphie. To hide hurt behind anger, hate and spite, to turn to agression to prove a point but you end up just fucking up. But the guilt and wish to fix things can lead one to giving themselves up, and so it becomes a constant battle of getting close but not too close for the sake of both parties involved. I get this boy more than I wish I ever did, and that's why he's high on the ranking. And because he's cute ngl.

.

#3 | Satan

H o h b o y, another one that reminds me of myself, only it's the aftermath of the above where one bottles up all their negative feelings because being emotional is not being rational and who the fuck even wants to not be rational. Where you have no fucking idea who you are because all you know is to stomp your feet and scream for the sake of making an statement but that just proved all your enemies a point so now you turn to smarts to prove yourself. To make others angry, to make them frustrated and infuriated with your knowledge because you want to prove yourself, be reconized for who you are, to be someone and also, hopefully, change other people's ways, to make them understand they are wrong because you deep down actually want to get along with them. Yeah, Satan is high on the list, and it's also because he likes detectives uwu.

.

#2 | Asmodeus

What a fucking icon he is I love him okay. It frustrates me when people use cheating as a angst prompt for him as he's obviously someone who just isn't made for monogamy, and he's pretty honest and I feel he would have nothing to hide and would talk it all out with all his partners. He's a sweetheart that works hard on daily basis and hour after hour to mantain an image, he likes the attention, he wants to be loved. If anyone mildly self centered ever told me 'I love you as much as I love myself' I would marry them on spot. Asmo is just incredibly sweet and I love all his affection and respect him for all the work he does to make a good impression and look up to that self confidence even though most of it is actually just him trying to convince himself. Also perfect example off gender is an ilusion lol.

.

#1 | Mammon

Yep, our number 1, The Great Mammon, the most lovable dumbass that has been by our side from the start though with a bit of whining. This man is perfect. He has incredible self control over his powers, and as someone who used to be an angel to be able to use money all you want bro. I wouldn't feel bad either. He's our protector from start to end to the point he focuses on us instead of the queen in the Dame event. He isn't stupid just has selective focus just like me! And all the people with ADHD and many other neurodivergents. When he wants something he does is perfectly and diligently, he just needs the right push at the right time. He's the most good of all demons and even angels and he loves all his brothers deeply, he is always there to support everyone to the point of even allowing himself to be the punching bag for the sake of them not turning too much on one another. He was literally our first SSR card, our first call, our first pact, our first and the best. He IS great, truly.

[writingtoforgetreality]

You´re Hurting Me (Lucifer Morningstar x Reader)

Request: Can I request a lucifer x reader one shot where Lucifer and reader get into a heated argument, and he hurts the reader but quickly regrets it and it ends good? ;0 (by @candle-anon), [Lucifer-Masterlist]

Summary: Crime solving was not always easy, sometimes danger was close. A protective boyfriend made the job even harder. You could not even be mad at him, he just wanted you to be safe. This time, though, he went a bit too far.

Words: 1,573

Warnings: mentions of rape, argument, angsty shit (uhhh, I love this), language (nothing new), fluff, (Y/A) = your age, (Y/H/C) = your hair color, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Another crime solved. Success. Well, partly. This time though, not everything went smoothly. You should have seen it coming, all of you.

You were looking for a man who strolled through the bars of LA and managed to wrap young girls around his finger. His preferred look was a pretty woman, around (Y/A) years old, (Y/H/C) hair and (Y/E/C) eyes. Usually, someone like him was easy to catch. This case, though, got on your nerves. At first, it was Lucifer´s and your case but you desperately needed help so you got Chloe and Dan on board. This far, he had killed four women. The autopsy revealed that every single one of the women had been raped before he had choked them to death.

After the L.A.P.D found the latest victim, you knew you had to act fast. The lives of other innocent women were at risk. Before you even processed what was happening, you found yourself at a shitty bar, ordering a strong drink, not really caring which one. Since your appearance was similar to the victims´, your team thought it was the only way to catch this sick fuck. Well, not everyone approved. Lucifer, your boyfriend, was against this idea, understandingly. Yet, he knew there was no other chance to bring the perpetrator to a halt. After a long heated discussion, he more or less agreed but only if he was close behind all the time.

You could not quite make out the conversations going on next to you. All you could hear was your loud and hammering heartbeat. Even after trying to focus on something else, you failed miserably. Not too long after, you could feel a presence to your left. “Nothing new.” you thought. It was not the first time this night someone had tried to hit on you. Each time, you gently rejected.

“You know, someone like you shouldn´t be alone here at this time.” a rough voice made you look to your side. There he was. You could immediately tell it was him because some security cameras had caught him before. Unfortunately, nobody could see his face clearly. But the way he dressed and how his body language spoke for itself, you knew you hit the jackpot. Hopefully, your team would come out of their hiding spots and save you soon. They were about to save you, right?

All of a sudden, you were unable to control your body anymore. The only thing you could show was your fear through your eyes. What was happening to you? Where was Lucifer? Before you could think about it too much, you felt a strong arm wander around your waist. A tight grip holding you to the smoke smelling leather jacket. Disgust crept over you but you could not move. What kind of drug was he using? Maybe this was a bad idea. Or not if your friends would come to your rescue!

The man dragged you out through the backdoor and shoved you into a dark alleyway where he knew nobody could see you two. Still completely frozen, you knew you had no control over what would happen next. The thought of your team saving you long forgotten. He started undressing you, slowly. His touch lingering on your exposed skin way too long. Tears sprung from your eyes, running down your cheeks. This was it. Out of instinct, and because you did not want to see what he was doing to you, your eyes closed, releasing even more tears. But before his hand could touch you again, you heard a loud thud. Opening your eyes for a short time, all you could see was darkness. You were not adjusted to the dark night. Your body started losing strength and shortly after, everything went black. This time because you lost consciousness.

Waking up, you were met with the sun shining in your face. It made you squint. Your body was covered in silk sheets that felt way too familiar to you. You were in Lucifer´s bed. How did you come here? Last time you checked, you were sitting at that bar, ready to catch this rapist. Was that a dream? No, that could not be.

Moving the soft covers off of your body, you noticed you were wearing one of Lucifer´s white button ups. Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you could feel a sting on your side. One of your hands moved the shirt up. A big purple bruise was covering your waist. Huh. You were clumsy but never had you had such a bad bruise before. Maybe Lucifer knew more.

“Luci?” your voice echoed through the huge apartment.

“(Y/N)? Darling.” he let out a long sigh and moved from the bar over to where you were standing. His arms opened and you let him hug you.

“You shouldn´t move around, get back to bed.” his voice sounded rather harsh.

“Oh? And why is that?” you teased, wanting to ease the tension that was building between you two.

“Funny, really. I´m not saying it again.” he started losing his temper and you could sense it. Yet you had no idea what was going on so you asked. Something you regretted mere seconds later.

“Could you not?” his scream made you take a step back. That was new. Lucifer never raised his voice towards you and if you were honest, it scared you. “STOP acting as if nothing happened yesterday! This doesn´t make it easier…” the last part was barely above a whisper.

“Luci…I have no idea what happened yesterday. All I remember is entering this bar. That´s it.” this made him look up at you.

“So you´re telling me you don´t remember being groped by this asshole? You don´t remember him undressing you? He was about to r-” it was hard for him to say it out loud. “He was about to rape you, (Y/N).” your breathed hitched and you took a second to let his words process. Slowly, bits of memory came back to you. Like how you could not move and were completely vulnerable against him.

“Did you catch him?” oh what a poor choice of words. You could see the anger rising in Lucifer. Whatever it was that triggered him, you just brought him over the edge.

“Did we- Did you hear what I just told you?” nodding at him, he did not even give you a chance to  respond.

“I TOLD you it was a bad idea! I told all of them but of course they didn´t listen. And YOU agreed, too. Great, just great. Even bett-”

“It was the only way and you know that.” you interrupted him. He came closer and your back met the wall. His hands grabbed your shoulders. His grip was so hard that pain flooded through you. You did not want to tell him, though. A few seconds after, you could not bare it anymore.

“YOU´RE HURTING ME, LUCIFER! GET OFF!” you did not know how but you managed to push him off.

There was a moment of complete silence. Lucifer immediately regretted his words. Even more so, his actions. The last thing he wanted was hurting you and he just did that. He was disgusted by himself. You, on the other hand, focused your eyes on your feet, not wanting to look him in the eyes. Lucifer protected you all the time but right now, you were genuinely scared of him. What if he did it again, only, this time, harder?

“(Y/N)? I- I´m-” he took careful steps towards you only for you to move back against the wall again.

“Don´t.” your voice sounded so broken. Lucifer knew he messed up. But he tried again. This time, though, he kept his distance.

“I´m sorry. It´s just...when I saw you with that bastard, when I realized what he was about to do...I hated myself. Of course there would´ve been different ways, I should´ve sticked with my opinion. I didn´t mean to hurt you, I just want to protect you. Fuck, I´m so stupid.” he mumbled the last part more to himself but you heard him.

“Stop it, you´re not.” you looked up at him. “I agreed but trust me when I tell you how scared I was this entire time.” walking closer to him you took his hands in yours and focused on his eyes. “And then I had no control over my body and and and you weren´t there and I knew this was it. But I´m okay now, see?” tears started forming as you replayed the scene in your head again.

Lucifer hated seeing you cry so out of instinct, he wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you in warmth and safety. Something you were used to from him. He apologized over and over again. Telling you how he did not want to hurt you and you knew he meant it. So to silence him you pressed a soft kiss on his lips, taking him by surprise. It did not take him long to go with it and he melted into your touch.

The asshole was caught, you felt safe in Lucifer´s embrace and were just happy that nothing major happened to you. Lucifer was just as scared as you, probably even more. You appreciated having a protective boyfriend even if he tended to exaggerate every now and then. This made him only more lovable, though. If he was around, danger was not that big of a problem anymore.

Published (09/17/2020) by Cathy

Tags: @suckmytoesblog, @kittenlittle24, @iinvisiblewings, @magnet-girl, @lovelybutdeadlyyy, @fanfictionsilove, @coffee-wihtout-caffeine, @kashasenpai (thanks for your support <3)

[fakeloveaskblog]

The fact I am no ghost shall Not stop me from haunting you, lemme tell ya that. The feeling is mutual, by the way—we all like your significant other far better than you, you can rest assured of that. Most everyone here dislikes this particular version of you, and while I've met many lovable utterances in my time, you make me want to punch you.

Now… *picks up the thickest cushion from the floor in a flutter of darkness as the lightbulb flickered* since you were courteous enough to let me in.

Hmm… nah, I'm not gonna make this quick. *making Virgil tumble to the floor, they levitate the cushion over his face and get ready to press down* The arbitrary laws of the universe will probably not let this be fatal, but, at the very least, I'm gonna give you a scare.

So, how's this for a deal with the devil. Seek therapy and change for the better… or you die via very slow and agonizing asphyxiation?

Virgil could feel the hair at the back of his neck raise as soon as he saw the cushion be picked up. Your voice was so loud it sent shockwaves through his body. His bones started to ache.

"Wha- Y-you can't just throw an existential crisis onto a dude like that! This version of me? What others me would there even be?! Don't tell me I have a twin or some shit like that"

He felt a sudden push against his chest. He tumbled down on the floor. He landed on his palms and elbows. He barely had time to turn around so he was laying on his back before the cushion was over him. 

You hadn’t even fully finished your sentence when Virgil blurted you “You better not do this to Remy! They freak out if they can’t breathe!”

Virgil kicked his legs around as the cushion was brought down closer to his face. No matter how much he held back against it his strength was nothing against the supernatural.

“Why the fuck do I even to change?!” He exclaimed in a flurry of panic “What’s so wrong about me? No one has even thought to tell me that! You shitheads! I can’t see anything I’ve done wrong! As far as I remember I haven’t even killed anyone! Unlike how you’re literally trying to commit murder right this second!”

His heart was beating so loud he could hear it. It felt like it would burst out of his ribs.

“I don’t get why I would ever need therapy. I will let you know I had a great childhood! You obviously- hopefully- haven’t met them but I can promise you Dot and Larry are amazing parents!!”

He desperately moved his hand all over the floor around him. Looking for anything helpful. The floor was a mess of salt and broken plates.

“You’re the real fucking freak for trying to kill me without any goddamn reason! Pff fucking therapy- why would I- I mean Remy goes to therapy but look at them! I’m obviously not messed up like they are! Even though I love them for it there is a clear difference between us okay!”

His hand latched onto a sharp piece left from a broken plate.

“I don’t need therapy or some stupid change! All I need is an exorcist!”

He cut the sharpest side of the shard into the cushion and pulled it straight down until it had cut through the whole thing. It fell apart into two.

Virgil pushed himself as far away as possible. He curled up in the corner of the kitchen between two drawers. He fumbled after his phone and called Remy. Signal after signal went by. No one answered.

“YOU STUPID-”

He cut himself off as he instead punched his fist against the drawer over and over. His teeth gritted together. His knuckles turned bloody.

The air caught in his throat as his eyes darted around the room, waiting for something horrible to happen again. The room stayed quiet and lifeless. Virgil sent another text to Remy which turned into 5 which turned into a dark hole of anger when they still didn’t answer.

“THEY BETTER COME BACK OR I’LL-”

He pressed his legs to his chest and tugged at his hair. He couldn’t breathe. All of it got stuck in his chest. His lungs were burning.

“I*LL-”

Tears pressed on in his eyes. He buried his head against his knees as sobs racked his body.

“i need them”

Virgil continued to cry in the cold lonely apartment with no one aside from you to hear him. While Remy was off laughing along with their friends over dinner. Their hand holding Janus’ under the table.

[fluffymisha97]

Not enough - Part two

So here you have it. Part two. I started working on this late last night feeling on a roll due to the fact the someone actually read the other two imagines. I had a whole idea with this thing and hopefully it’s not completely bs.

The day when you and Chris were supposed to move you out of the house came too soon. You hadn’t licked your wounds just yet. You were dreading the whole thing. You felt like you had given up too soon. A mantra kept playing in your head while going over to the house. ‘Move out, move on. Moving out, so he can move on.’ It felt like a bad record that wouldn’t stop playing.

So, there you finally were. Just outside the house that you once lived in and could call home. For a while you just stood outside and took in the view. At the same time, you wondered to yourself ‘do I knock or not’, it wasn’t your home anymore. So, doubting what to do you rang the doorbell and heard Dodger and Chris on the other side of the door. You came face to face with Chris who sported a nervous smile.

Chris was wearing a tight-fitting shirt, knitted cardigan and loose pants that still somehow did wonders for his body. You had to stop yourself from perving even more. You looked down at your own outfit. You were wearing a pair of overalls and a white t-shirt and suddenly felt very self-conscious.

“Hi, come on in. You really didn’t have to ring the doorbell.”

Chris said with a small smile while fidgeting with his hands. He seemed nervous too.

“Well I didn’t feel like I should just barge in.”

You stepped inside and your nostrils was filled with a smell of home and you almost had to stop yourself from choking on your emotions. Dodger was playing around happily while the two of you tried to make a game plan for packing etc. The house was mostly filled with Chris’s things seeing as you were the one who moved into his place and therefor only had less things with you.

“Well we better get to it then. Although I don’t really know how or where we should start or if we should spilt up and each do a room.”

Chris tried not to feel like he was about to burst at any minute. Instead he offered you a smile. One that didn’t reach his eyes completely.

The two of you ended up each packing up a room. But it wasn’t as easy as you’d hope for. Occasionally, Chris or you would come across an object that the two of you had bought together during your relationship. You found several things that you had bought while on vacation and it brought back all the amazing memories. That’s what was left now. Memories of your time spent together. A few tears fell and you quickly wiped them away as you heard Chris’s footstep approach.

“Oh, you found some things too. I was just coming to ask you what we should do with these things. I mean there’s a lot for example the drum set, pillowcases and vases etc.”

“Yeah. I hadn’t really thought about that. It just seems sad to break up the things that are meant as a set. You get to keep the ones you liked the best and then we’ll take it from there.”

If this didn’t already feel like a divorce it certainly did now. You had reached the part of dividing the valuable items between the two of you. You felt sad all over again but did your best to hide it. You even tried to lighten the mood a bit and fail miserably.

“well it’s a good thing that we didn’t adopt that puppy that I wanted last year. Then we would have to co-parent.”

You let out a breathy and nervous laugh. Chris looked very uneasy about your statement. You then wished that the ground would swallow you whole while internally face-palming yourself. You cleared your throat and moved on with something else. ‘Move on, move out’ you heard the mantra again.

Almost three hours later you were all done. You had spent an hour cuddling and playing with Dodger as if saying goodbye to him… which you would have to do. In the hallway stood two moving boxes and a smaller box filled with the last remains of your relationship. One and a half years’ worth of relationship could apparently fit into a small dump box. You gave box the evil eye before joining Chris and Dodger in the backyard.

When you were all done Chris ordered a pizza, your favorite kind. When the pizza came the two of you moved out to the patio with a six-pack beer. Chris had been the one to teach you to drink beer because he could tell the good kind from the bad. He also came up with great argumentative points about how drinking beer is cheaper than ordering a tequila sunrise at a pub. And he was right. He was always right or at least most of the time.

You both ate in a comfortable silence. It felt like the old days. Dodger was laying by Chris’s feet looking up at your face. You started to realize how much you would miss this. Dodger, the house his family but most of all, Chris. You had met Chris while working on a Marvel movie and befriended the lovable meatball rather quickly. You were friend for years before neither of you had the courage to ask the other one out. He was always there for you whenever you needed him and the other way around. You helped Chris with his anxiety when you all would be on press tour. You kept him grounded.

Both of you had a hand resting on the table. No words were said as the two found each other. Chris’s fingers intertwined with yours and you could have sworn that you felt your heart skip a beat. He was looking out at the view from his house in silence. You held hands for what seemed like forever. While holding your hand, you had to look the other way so Chris wouldn’t see the tears now freely flowing from your eyes. You had to use your free hand to keep quiet to muffle the sounds that were threatening to come out. You feared so badly that once he’d let go of your hand that would be it. The end.

But a loud sob escaped you and Chris turned his full attention to you. His whole face softened when he saw you. Without any words he simply stood up and went over to where you were sitting. He kneeled in front of your chair and leaned forward to hug your waist. You were practically a sniffling and snotty mess, but Chris only urged you further out in your seat. Chris felt his shirt soaked several places but only held you tighter. He held you while you cried and trembled in his strong embrace. Chris didn’t say anything or rushed you in any way. He simply let you be and tried to do his best comforting you.

After some time when you finally felt like there were no more tears left in your body you let Chris come up from where he was almost cradling you. He cracked a reassuring smile and wiped your tear-filled face with his sleeve.

“So…move out, move on? What was that about? I heard you mumbling while earlier.”

Chris didn’t move from his spot on the ground and kept his eyes on you. He was drawing circles on you one knee and arm with his calloused hands. The movements felt soothing.

“Everything just sort of hit me. You and me, us. Everything leading up to this the break, the distance, London and now this. I just don’t want you to feel like I’m holding you back or anything. I get that you would want to move on at some point. That you have to move on.”

Your voice still sounded a bit shaky and not as convincing as you’d hope for.

“You think this is what I truly want? Don’t you know me at all?”

Chris looked hurt while saying this. You just shrugged while not knowing what to say. Chris’s latest actions showed different from what he was now saying. Actions speak louder than words something your mother always told you growing up. You felt yourself being tugged at in two different directions. But then again here he was looking at you with those deep blue eyes. The same eyes you’d fallen in love with.

“London was never about that. It was stupid. I buried myself in work and tried to move on. But dammit. I never wanted this Y/N. Never. I just went along with it because that’s what you wanted. You seemed so determined about it. I thought you were tired of me. I thought maybe you didn’t love me anymore.”

You were almost crying again while vigorously shaking your head at his words. You had let him believe that you didn’t love him. You moved out of the chair and slid onto his lap to wrap your arms around him in a bone crushing hug. His warmth engulfed you. In your mind you tried to hug away the last couple of months. If only it was that easy. You then felt Chris tremble in your arms. It was now him who let go of everything, that he’d been holding in since you left.

“I left because I love you too much Chris. I had to. The way you made me feel scared me so much. I was scared so many times that you would leave me for someone else. Someone better. I felt like I didn’t deserve you or your love. Like I wasn’t worthy of it.”

Chris suddenly looked at you and you felt the world still around the two of you. His hands now came up and rested on each side of your face. His hands caressing your face, you leaned into the touch. He looked as if searching for something. Ever so slowly he leaned forward. You could feel his breath as he came closer. Your lips collided. His soft lips on yours. Your body knew exactly how to respond having a mind of its own. It was like no time had passed. You fit perfectly together. You had to pull away to catch your breath. You couldn’t help yourself from smiling at Chris who looked just as flustered as you. He let out a breathy chuckle still holding you close to him as if you could disappear at any time.

“Well that was something.”

You agreed with him with a wide smile on your face. Both out of breath. The two of you couldn’t hold back a small laugh. You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his. Your hands wandered to his back and neck drawing all kinds of shapes.

“Seems like we just wasted an entire day packing your things. Hell, we wasted several months.” You hummed silently feeling content.

“Yeah, I know. On the bright side, I travel lightly so that’s that.”

You could feel Chris’s chest vibrate from a laugh. You leaned into Chris wanting to be closer if that was humanly possible. This feeling right here was everything.

“I love you”

You almost whispered to him. Chris let out a deep sigh and leaned into kiss you once more. He wasn’t planning to stop anytime soon not that you would let him. You weren’t’ going anywhere. You belonged right here with him.

[alittlefrenchtree]

What would a good pr look like for you? Or, are there any principles you would suggest? I'm genuinely asking out of curiosity, cause we see so many things done badly (in a movie related industry), that even someone inexperienced like me can notice it all. You don't have to answer this if you don't feel comfortable, of course. Have a nice day :)

Hi there! Thank you for asking and for being so kind while doing it. I don't mind talking about this at all, don't worry 😊

I'm going to try to not take too long to answer but I already know I'm going to fail so I apologize in advance 😉 (edit after writing it: it's enormous, i'm so sorry. Hopefully, it's interesting. I'm crossing fingers for it to be at least readable 🤞).

Disclamer before I even try to start: I'm not a pr person (why do I even bother opening my mouth then? Idk either). I've already said it before but I always like a little bit of context, so. I'm not a pr person but I've studied (for about 3 seconds) fields close to pr or even directly related to pr in college, worked more or less close to a pr department (for about 3 other seconds) and have now been working... for let's say the other side of one fence for at least a good 5 minutes. I'm not close to pr people but I can see some effects of what they're doing on a regular basis. It's not pretty clear but i'm just saying that even if I'm not a pr person, I've been evolving around the field for a while, and even more than that, I've been watching (too) many public people from up close for way too many years. That doesn't make me an expert obviously, but I think it makes me at least someone who knows where to look and how to look in most cases. Obviously I won't say too many stupid things.

Ok, that being said.

In theory, a good pr move is a pr move that: a) reach its targeted audience in the way that was planned b) improve or doesn't hurt the image of the person/brand and c) make the people/entity who give the person/brand money happy (or at least, isn't hurting the rich people/brand's values). Some pr are more specifically designed for one or two of these goals, the three being the perfect combo.

I've said it before but it's always a important reminder that just a pr move not being good for me doesn't mean it's not a good pr move at all. It's most likely mean that I'm not in the targeted audience.

About principles... Again, I'm not sure if I can give a straight answer but, it's what I like about public relations. For me, even if of course you can learn things in theory, the beauty of pr is to completely adapt to the client. Trying to transpose pre-existing patterns on different people or different brands is not doomed to fail but, still in my opinion, very limited. So the only important principles for me are, a) to know (and respect) the audience you want to talk to and b) to not twist too much the identity of your client (whether it's a person, a person that has become a brand, or a brand).

The b) yet, is still debatable. If your client (person/person-brand/brand) is either shy or boring or extremely detestable or all of the above, you can think the only way to make them catchy is to completely twist them. For me, it could have been a good idea until... a few years ago. Before social media, twisting a nature for public image purpose could work. Before social media, public entities and audiences weren't talking that much together, so it was doable. Say I was an asshole singer in the 80's. All my pr people had to do is to make sure I appear somehow lovable during the 5 weeks a year I was promoting something (while all I was doing is around 2 things on tv, 3 things on radio and 5 things on written press) and I could be an asshole the rest of the year and nobody would know nothing about. At worst, someone would have a bad experience with me, but that someone would just talk about it to their four friends and two parents and that's about it. Or it would be a vague rumor, but no one would care that much. Like many things today, social media has changed things. Many public person have social media accounts, which means twisting the nature of the client is... way more complicated and more likely doomed to fail at some point. Of course you can be a public entity and not have any form of social media presence. First, it's going to be rarer with time because in the majority of the cases, it's shooting yourself (or your activity) in the foot. But even more importantly, not having social media account for yourself doesn't prevent you from their effects, because everyone else around you has social media accounts. Say I'm still an asshole singer in... say a post-covid world because otherwise it's too complicated. I'm still doing that 5 weeks promo tour to present my new album but this time, my agent is documenting everything on their own social media accounts to promote their own selves and work (because unlike me, they're smart and know social media are part of the business). During that tour, the media I'll interact with will probably be more plenty than the ones I would have met in the 80s because there are way more media than before. Every one of them has their own media accounts, for which they're going to create social media content (of backstage,...). Even more, some media are only social media based and will propose mostly content based on my personality. Remember that one person who had a bad experience with me in the 80's but had mostly no consequence? Now that person can share this with their 135 followers on Twitter who all have a RT button or on a post on their Instagram account and tagged their story on my account (if I have one) or on every fan account or on my agent account or on my mom account or everywhere people go when they want to lurk/stalk content about me. And well, you know the Internet, if 100 people knows, everyone knows. Even outside of my 5 weeks promo, every person I meet can morph into a viral story on the Internet. Which let me circle back to what I was saying in the first place. In a time where the flow of content is almost non-stop and the (media) public place is almost everywhere, having a pr strategy based on something dramatically opposed to who you are is tricky and not really viable in a long term. Especially when, in my opinion, you can work with everything in pr. You can adjust certain things, choose to hide some other parts, highlight other without changing everything. If you're good enough, you can make the most boring person relatable to an audience and work from that. I think the easiest way to make pr works is to based it on something real. Even if you then make it ten times bigger for public purpose, starting from something real makes everything easier.

When I wrote the post earlier, about public relations being interesting, I was mostly referring to what I see happening on Twitch and with streamers lately (if you're not familiar with this universe yet, just imagine a youtuber who only is only making live content and who mostly live on paid subscriptions from viewers instead of advertisement). It's nothing revolutionary, but I do appreciate the predominant transparency I hear in some of them. Yet again, because of the nature of their activity, transparency with their audience is in itself a good pr move. When you've spent 9hours a day, 6days a week live streaming for an audience without any edit or filter, transparency is often required. But still, it was really refreshing to hear that guy, who is and has been considered as the number one streamer in France for many years having that kind of speech. He was explaining how this thing he did hadn't making him earn any money but was good for his image and how that other thing he did was for money and many others things like these. And you find out that thing that could be badly perceive by the audience (such as doing something for money when you are supposed to have a job of passion) isn't at all perceive as so when you're explaining it to the audience and why you're doing it, where the money goes next and what you're going to do with it, etc.

What I like about pr is that, the possibilities of creativity are endless. Especially now, with all the new (that aren't that new anymore) technologies and the internet and the social media and the fact that everybody with a smartphone or an internet access is reachable from anywhere in the world. When I see something as the Travis Scott event on Fortnite and I see that you can virtually gather together 28 millions of people from all over the world for a concert (especially during a global pandemic), it's like, fucking mind-blowing and absolutely genius in so many levels. When we talk about pr, I wish people would think about stuff like events like that instead of just a set up lie or something to mislead the audience or something. But it also comes from pr people and teams and from public people themselves to not see pr as a mean to an end (selling something to an audience, making some rich people happy, etc.) but as a science as much as an art, and an occasion to produce something interesting, exciting and to create emotions.

Have a nice day/everning/night as well, Nonny. Thank you for stopping by 💜

[ohnomybreadsticks]

It’s melting pot Sunday! And I am here with yet another obscure-ass Witcher pairing XD Again courtesy of @jaskiersvalley and their amazing ideas! I am simply a set of eager hands willing to type out these hilarious scenarios!!

Rating: G, ~1.5K, pre-Cahir/Geralt, pre-Jaskier/Geralt, pre-Jaskier/Cahir/Geralt

Prompt: “That’s what makes you feel dumb, out of everything you’ve done?”

---

It was strange, Jaskier felt, to go from a dashing duo to a...something trio. Cahir’s addition to their little band had been strange in more ways than just lyrical, what with the fact that he had previously been their sworn enemy. Trying to capture Geralt’s young charge and return her to the Empire was a bit of a big no-no. But what, the bard had often mused to himself, was more poetic than an enemy turned friend? It was the beginning of a truly epic tale, and Jaskier was eager for Cahir to linger on if only for that.

And anyways, it wasn’t like Cahir took up that much space. It seemed like his life’s mission now was to be as small and convenient as possible, and he rarely spoke up above a soft sentence or two. It was hard to tell if this was his natural personality or his attempt at penance, but it wasn’t like Jaskier minded either way. He had been talking enough for two already, he could talk a little bit more easily and cover Cahir’s portion of the conversation.

Jaskier had bigger things on his mind than keeping track of whatever Cahir was up to now that he wasn’t actively trying to kill them. Or inactively, hopefully. He seemed harmless enough. Geralt always said Jaskier didn’t have enough sense or enough of a self-preservation instinct to have survived this long, but he clearly must be wrong because Jaskier was still here after all. Here and hopelessly pining after his strong, handsome, and kind companion.

No, not Cahir, he was fine, Jaskier supposed. But he’d been pining after Geralt since the moment he laid eyes on him all those years ago in Posada. Others might look at Geralt and see a broody, grumpy, antisocial brute, and Jaskier might call those people all sorts of derogatory names. Geralt was absolutely broody and grumpy at times, but he was also incredibly kind and surprisingly funny when you got past his very understandable defenses. He made the sort of understated jokes that Jaskier would catch two minutes later and burst into aching laughter over, quiet quips that Jaskier would argue were worth far more than any overblown stage show.

And Geralt was kind, terribly so, even if he was the one who would argue you to death over not being a good person. He always took care of Jaskier, even when it was inconvenient to him, or potentially harmful to his career and/or person (that had been a particularly bad incident, and Jaskier had sworn never to repeat it). In the evenings, when they sat together around the fire, he would nod along subtly to Jaskier’s songs, and sometimes when he was sure no one was looking, Geralt would smile at him. Just a tiny little twitch at the corners of his mouth, but it was always enough to have Jaskier’s heart beating out of his chest.

Unfortunately, the one things Geralt wasn’t was fucking observant. Jaskier had been flirting with him, hard, for years, and he hadn’t noticed at all! Not in a ‘I’m ignoring you in the hopes that you go away’ type of way, but a genuinely ‘I’m ignoring you because I can’t comprehend the fact that anyone would love me’ sort of way. Which was horribly frustrating! Jaskier had no intention of giving up, but it did get tiresome when he sang his fiftieth ballad about loving a noble warrior who hid his heart away and Geralt simply ‘hmm’-ed in approval but appeared entirely unmoved. Jaskier didn’t know any other love language aside from loud and poetic gestures, so he was worrying that he was going to run out of ideas.

And then, just when Jaskier was starting to feel like he was never going to succeed and he should just start writing ballads with their actual names in them to see if Geralt was really that dense, Cahir joined the fray. And he joined the fray in more ways than one, Jaskier soon realized. He was a far more subtle man, but Jaskier was an expert in matters of love, and he could spot the signs of a courtship from a mile away.

Cahir, it seemed, was also horribly in love with Geralt and attempting to make him see that. There just wasn’t any other explanation for the way he followed him around like a small, helpful puppy, or why he had started to interpret Geralt’s soft ‘hmm’s with the same accuracy as Jaskier. Cahir was always there, always ready to lend a hand, even when you didn’t know you needed one. Little things had started just showing up in Geralt’s pack, and Jaskier knew he hadn’t done it so must have been the work of Cahir. 

Now, Jaskier would normally have been consumed with horrible jealousy at this turn of events. He had been courting Geralt for years and now this upstart had the nerve to swoop in and try to steal his man?? Really, the nerve of some people. But...there would only really be a cause for jealousy if Cahir was getting anything out of his attempts. Which he absolutely wasn’t. Geralt treated him with the same unwavering kindness he treated Jaskier, completely missing each and every quiet token of affection Cahir held out towards him. 

And Jaskier supposed he couldn’t blame Cahir for trying, he really couldn’t. How could anyone resist someone as lovable as their Witcher? Cahir just had good taste like Jaskier! He didn’t, unfortunately, seem to be as resilient and determined as Jaskier. The bard watched as the weeks dragged on and Cahir seemed to wilt under the lack of response from Geralt. It was just too sad to see how he tried so hard and yet got nothing in return. Truly, Jaskier understood that heartache. So he did the only thing he could think of - he went to give Cahir a pep talk.

They had camped out for the evening and Geralt was out hunting after a brief quiet exchange with Cahir that Jaskier hadn’t really caught. Whatever it was must have really upset him, because the man was now glumly sitting on his own at the edge of the firelight, whittling with his knife at some piece of firewood. Jaskier carefully shuffled his way over, sitting down and shooting Cahir an encouraging smile. They didn’t spend too much time talking together just the two of them, but he had a feeling that was going to change. 

“I sympathize, you know,” Jaskier said, breaking the silence with his usual blunt delivery. No sense beating around the bush, as it were. “I’ve been trying for years, with no real response. You can’t let it get you down too much.” he continued, looking over at Cahir to watch his expression. What he didn’t expect to see was confusion, the man’s brow wrinkling up as he turned to look at Jaskier in return.

“You’ve...tried to do the same thing too?” Cahir asked, and he seemed genuinely surprised and taken aback. Maybe he was just as dense as Geralt.

“Of course I have!” Jaskier insisted, “My methods might be different, but all courtships are unique! There’s no shame in having different approaches to getting Geralt to acknowledge our love for him” 

At the word ‘love’, Cahir let out a noise that was half dying fish, half surprised cat screech. He dropped his knife in the shock of it all, which was good because Jaskier half expected to be stabbed after a response like that. 

“Love?? Love for, for Geralt??” Cahir gasped out, staring at Jaskier with eyes so wide he could see the firelight dancing in them.

“Of course love!” Jaskier argued back, not about to back down from what he knew to be true, “Don’t play dumb with me! You’re just as in love with him as I am, why else would you be following him around and trying to do anything even remotely helpful? And don’t get me started on the little gifts! I’m not stupid, blade oil doesn’t just materialize overnight.” 

Jaskier’s tirade of evidence seemed to stop Cahir in his tracks and he paled, dropping his head into his hands.

“Oh my god” He groaned, “Oh fuck. I am in love with him, aren’t I?”

Jaskier was about to say something in addition when Cahir suddenly burst out “I’m so fucking stupid! Of course he didn’t need anyone to come with him while he hunts and hold the lantern! He can see in the godsdamn dark!!” 

And suddenly all of the tension was gone out of the moment, all the excitement of the discovery of a hidden love, all of the drama of realizing they were both in love with the same man, all replaced with the sound of Jaskier’s laughter.

“Cahir, that’s what makes you feel dumb, out of everything you’ve done??” He gasped out between laughs, and Cahir could do nothing to defend himself except offer a sheepish smile. 

Oh he was going to need a lot of help. It was a good thing Jaskier was an expert in courtship.

[7deadlycinderellas]

No more math and history, ch7

Ao3 link

Second session comes to a close. 

Hide and seek only takes two hours this year (Arya long ago found the best hiding place, underneath the kitchen employees snack table behind the mess hall, but Clegane rats her out this time). The Wizard of Oz goes off with no stage fright and no flubbed lines, and only one munchkin who has to run off to the latrines prematurely. 

The dance comes, and Arya even wears a skirt for it.

The dance is over now, and around the campfire the lingering counselors have plundered the prize smuggled in yesterday in Loras’s truck - two whole cases of beer. There wasn’t enough to go around for anyone to really get drunk but most of them were at least nursing a bottle. If no one got in trouble, Brienne would be none the wiser.

Most of the unit counselors have left, begrudgingly. They’ll get their revenge when everyone at activities has to work tomorrow all day when the kids are gone. Meera had taken one bottle and snuck off for solitude. Ygritte had grumbled the whole dance, she was stuck on lights out patrol the last night of session. Bran left too, laughing that alcohol and wheelchairs didn’t mix. 

All around the campfire, everyone’s drinking their beer, laughing and singing.

Arya and her companions are off to one side, and a couple are still fixated on the skirt. 

She holds out the ends of the fabric, showing Shireen. 

“I pretty much live in jeans and sweaters and hoodies up north. I haven’t worn a skirt or dress voluntarily since my junior school days when we had uniforms. Well about a year and a half ago I tore the knees out of my favorite jeans. I was going to throw them away, but Sansa fished them out, cut the inseams and patched the gaps with one of our dad’s old flannel shirts.”

They still had a whole box of Ned’s flannel shirts, waiting for them to find a use for them. Robb and Jon were both still too slim to wear them. Sometimes Arya would pull one on, letting it fall down nearly to her knees, and pretend she could still smell him. Ned had always smelled like pine and snow to her, no matter where they were.

“I loved it, because of that and because Sansa made it just for me. But I only wore it once.”

“I forgot about that,” Sansa admits.

Arya feels herself turning red, and she knows it’s not the beer, she’s only had half a bottle. 

“I wish I could. I wore it to school once, one of the only days it was warm enough.”

She had always shaken her head at Sansa, who wore dresses and skirts to school all the time, with or without leggings or tights, no matter the amount of snow on the ground. She could be shivering under her winter coat and hat and boots, but still refuse to change.

“I didn’t really think anything of it, but everyone else sure seemed to. Mum fussed over me all morning and when I got to school, I kept hearing whispers and snickers. I even heard someone say ‘guess she really is a girl after all’. It was mortifying, and I never wore it again.”

Shireen frowns, even harder than she was before. She had taken exactly one drink of her beer and had winced.

“Why would people act like that just over seeing a girl in a skirt?”

Gendry snorts. He’s only been sipping his beer, and with a pang, Arya remembers that his mother had always said, that his father had just been some drunk. 

“They probably thought they had wandered into some teen flick and she was having a dramatic makeover into the class beauty everyone would want.”

Arya feels herself burn, and she knows it’s not the beer talking. 

“Yes, it was like they thought that just because I wore a skirt that I would stop playing sports and start hanging out at the mall and fawning over boys instead.”

Gendry starts laughing so Arya sticks her tongue out at him. 

“Nope, you’re not getting any fawning, none at all. Mum was the worst actually. She always thought that one day I would wake up transformed into the proper girl she wanted me to be, like Sansa.”

“You and Mum never did see eye to eye,” Sansa admits, quietly. Her two bottles are both empty and there’s a tinge of sadness to her voice.

Arya pulls her knees up to her chest. 

“She could never understand why I would rather go to the park with the dogs, or to White Harbour for a game, or beg Jon to teach me to drive on a Saturday instead of, I don’t know, getting my hair or nails done like you.”

“It wasn’t always perfect between us,” Sansa admits, “Sometimes I could be too much even for mum. You weren’t around that time I threw a tantrum because she said I couldn’t go clubbing with the rest of the cast after the Music Man closed, because it was after curfew.”

Sansa’s quiet for a long moment.

“I wonder if she would fight me again over this next year.”

Arya flops flat on her back. 

“You did fine on your A-levels Sansa, and you’re hardly the first person to take a gap year to work.”

Shireen frowns off to her side.

“You’re out of school already? I thought you said you were seventeen?”

Sansa nods, then giggles.

“There was some fuss with our birthdays when we both entered school. I turn eighteen in October, Arya’s seventeen in November. I just finished my A-levels, Arya’s going into her last year.”

Sansa quiets after this. Arya knows she had agonized over this. She had done decently on exams, true, but she really did want to pursue acting. The theater scene in Winterfell, indeed, in all of the North was so very small, that her only hope was to leave and move somewhere like the Riverlands, or hopefully the Reach. And all for Sansa’s confidence, leaving home like that terrified her. 

Shireen turns her attention to Arya, who suddenly feels the need to take a long swig of her beer. 

“What are you taking?’

Arya grimaces, “English, maths, biology, phys ed, and Braavosi.”

She bites her lip. 

“Mum would probably still say that’s not enough.”

The beer isn’t helping, her stomach feels like there’s a rock in it. Part of her wants to keep going, but is terrified of letting it out. Across the campfire, Loras has started making out with Renly Baratheon, the boys head counselor, and no one is paying any attention to the group in the little corner. 

“Do you remember Ned Dayne?” she asks Gendry, eye half-closed in his direction. Gendry snorts, like a bull would, not like he’s laughing. 

“I hated him.”

Arya scoffs. Ned had come to camp with them the second year, invited along as the son of a long time family friend. The rest of the Brotherhood had liked him, Gendry had not.

“You did not hate him, you were ten. Well, last year Ned came north to stay with his aunt for a few months.”

Sansa’s eyeing her oddly, trying to work out the timeline and looking wary. 

“There was a beginning of term dance. I didn’t really want to go, but Ned offered to take me because he thought I was afraid to go alone, and- Gendry wipe that pout off your face-”

His pout is extremely obvious too, even Shireen’s giggling in his direction. She had never really understood why him and Ned got on each other’s nerves so easily, having always chalked it up to them just having different temperaments.

“Ned and I are just friends, we both knew it…” her voice thins and turns rough, “Mum didn’t seem to get the memo though.”

Sansa interrupts. 

“Was that what-”

Arya nods. 

“She couldn’t stop going on about how sweet we were together, and and, how happy Dad would have been…”

That was the part that had hurt the most, that it felt like Mum had been using Dad against her, even if that hadn’t been her intention. 

“She tried to convince me to take him to this fancy charity event she was planning for the company, and I just, I got so mad…”

Tears threaten to spill out, and she wipes her face with the back of her hand.

“I told her that I wasn’t going to go to her stupid event, alone or with Ned. I told her that she was never going to understand me and that I wished…I wished that Dad was still here instead of her.”

Arya’s crying now openly, and the others are just watching her. 

“Her and Bran’s accident was the next day. Mum died thinking I hated her.”

Arya’s so lost in her words, that she doesn’t even notice when Sansa roughly tipsy-tackles her.

“She did not. You had a fight over something stupid and you lost your temper and said something you didn’t mean. Arya, it’s not the first time you’ve done that. She knew you didn’t hate her.”

Off to the side, she can hear Shireen opening her mouth.

“So much for not being in a film. Is this where we all share our deepest secrets? You already know mine.”

The tone seems almost bitter for Shireen, but Arya could hug her at this moment, for taking the attention off of her confession. 

“Then my turn is done, someone else take a turn.”

Sansa squeezes her one last time, whispering into her hair. 

“You’re so much more lovable than you seem to believe Arya,” she spares a glance in Gendry’s direction before letting go and standing up, “Maybe you’ll come to see it yourself.”

Once Sansa leaves for the other side of the campfire, it’s quiet for a few minutes. Arya studies the stars, feels the warmth of the fire at her back and breathes in the soft scent of smoke. It’s true, she does feel a bit lighter.

After several minutes, Gendry breaks the silence. 

“After we left camp the last time...the foster mother I had after molested me for most of that year.”

Arya feels her throat go dry, her mind go fuzzy. She thinks she makes some noises but none of them are words, or at least she hopes they aren’t.

“At least you’re using the word now,” Shireen comments, and Arya feels even more almost words try and get out.

“Shireen,” she starts off, “Wasn’t she the one who-”

Shireen nods, but Gendry isn’t paying attention. His voice drones on like a tape stretched out from too many plays. 

“I’m not sure if Melisandre was her given or family name either. That’s just what she told me to call her. She hadn’t been living in King’s Landing long before...I should have known she was strange from day 1. I’d never even heard of the Lord of Light before, but she made me keep the little religious rituals. That wasn’t really so bad…”

He swallows roughly. 

“She was really affectionate right off the bat. I didn’t think anything of that either, I’ve had some foster parents who freaked out if I so much as bumped into them and I thought this was better. It didn’t help that she was beautiful. “ “She really was,” Shireen admits, swigging her beer. Arya notes that it’s mostly gone now, as though Shireen had been using it to distract from the conversation. “Like, film star beautiful.”

“Then the weirdness started. She would stare into her little flame on her altar for hours, or spend most of the day speaking in a language I didn’t recognize. Sometimes she would corner me while in this state, and get way too close.”

Shireen’s finished her beer, and stood and set to leave. Arya doesn’t blame her. She feels well and truly drunk, her head swimming and her stomach threatening to turn itself over. 

“Then it got to the point she would try and kiss me while muttering some shit about the will of R’hllorr. It would be a lie to say I didn’t enjoy this at first. That’s why some of it feels like my fault, like I should have done something earlier.”

Arya hates every inch of guilt on his face. 

“You were what, fifteen then? You couldn’t have...would you have thought differently if you had been a girl, or younger?”

Gendry won’t look at her now. 

“But by the time she started saying things about bloodlines and sticking her hands down my shorts I knew everything was wrong, but I didn’t know how to make her stop.”

“I’m so sorry,” Arya starts, turning on one side to face him, “That was horrible. She was supposed to be a parent, no parent should ever do anything like that.”

Gendry chuckles roughly. 

“I had a decent reputation with the social workers. I wasn’t a problem case. I still led off with the religious ranting, because I still thought they might not believe me. They did though, and even leaving with another bin bag, I was ecstatic. I was in a boy’s group home for a few months until Davos took me in. Those months were when she went to Dragonstone.”

Arya’s eyes go wide. 

“They let her?”

“They had to build a case. They could bar her from taking in other kids or working at a school, but until they got all my statements, they couldn’t stop her from traveling within the territory and preaching.”

“Did they-” 

“It was easier after Shireen. Because of what she did to her, with witnesses, they got the order to hold her against her will within the day. She’s in an in-treatment facility now, and has been declared unfit to stand trial. Diagnosis of hallucinations and delusions, apparently they’re religiously oriented quite a lot. Until she’s not, what happened to me is just a file in a police station.” 

Arya sighs deeply. Her mother had always been very religious, and while Arya had rarely shared her enthusiasm, none of it had ever frightened her.

She remembers that Gendry never really put any stock in the barely there prayers and religious songs at camp, she always thought he was in the same boat as her. 

She watches Gendry’s face, his eyes half closed, his lips set straight. A horrible thought hits her suddenly. 

“I didn’t- nothing I’ve done when we’re...I don’t make you remember it do I?”

Gendry sighs, and reaches out to push a bit of her hair back over the side of her face.

“No. I didn’t tell you this to make you pity me, or so you’d treat me like I was going to break.”

Arya feels her eyes water as she asks, “Then why did you tell me.”

Gendry exhales roughly. 

“I guess I’m just so sick of feeling like it’s a secret. It’s not something you can just drop on people. What I said earlier this summer was true, it was much easier to focus on work and school instead of trying to date. But it’s not just that. After what she did to me, it was really hard to think of trusting a complete stranger again. It took me a long time to warm up to Davos and his wife, and even Shireen.”

Arya sighs softly, breathing in the night air. 

“But you trust me?”

Gendry runs his fingers along one of her cheeks, and even though it’s gentle and simple, it makes her skin tingle.

“I do. Besides, you’re not a complete stranger. What Sansa says was right though, you’re so much more lovable than you give yourself credit for.”

Arya scoffs, though her heart swells inside her. 

“You too,” she whispers. Gendry shakes his head.

“I think that’s just you, and maybe Shireen. I think your siblings only put up with me because of you. Everyone else seems to think I’m a giant prick.”

Arya pouts. 

“That’s not true!”

Gendry laughs. 

“It’s fine. The people who actually matter don’t.”

He flexes his arm and rolls Arya closer. She presses her nose into the side of his neck and breathes in deeply. Warm skin, hint of suncream.

They’re quiet for a time, and Arya drinks the moment in. 

“If this is a big scene in a film, any other secrets you want to let out here?” she asks with a smirk. 

Gendry breathes deeply for a moment. 

“Lem gave me some info on an apprenticeship in King’s Landing I might go out for.”

Arya purses her lips. 

“An apprenticeship? What for?”

“To be a paramedic.”

Arya’s eyes go wide. She thinks back on his uncertainty about his future.

“That’s a great idea! You already have something resembling experience too.”

Gendry smiles, though his face still looks a bit hesitant. 

“I think so too, especially after what happened during the canoe races. I just- I’m tired of not knowing what I want. I want to make something of myself, show everyone I’m worthy, that I’m not just some lost kid to be pitied and looked down upon.”

Arya kisses his chin.

“Just remember you don’t need to prove anything to be worth it to me.”

Gendry breathes softly, and rolls so they’re closer together, nearly pressed nose-to-nose. 

“It’s not a guarantee, it’s a hard spot to get. It’s not just recent grads, working adults can apply too.”

Arya smiles. 

“After this past year with Bran, I’ve been considering physical therapy.”

“That’d be a good fit, given your background.”

“I thought so. Though apparently you’re competing with a ton of failed med school applicants. I’ll have to really buckle down this year.”

She groans deeply. The two beers she had is making her blood feel hot.

“I don’t want to think about school, it’s the summer holidays.”

So after that, they don’t talk anymore about the future. 

Morning comes, with the sun, and only a few hangovers. The campers leave, and the unit counselors slack off. Out in the stables, Arya and Ygritte muck and chat. Much like her and Gendry, they don’t talk about the future. 

[laylacooke]

Sex Toys Don’t Make Good Cat Toys || Rio, Cordy, & Layla

timing: Late August. parties: @3starsquinn, Cordy [ @kadavernagh], & @laylacooke summary: Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of...A Little Catty.

Layla wasn’t entirely sure how she had managed to pull off communicating with Leah, but she had. It was a miracle, and now she was trotting down the sidewalk headed towards Pandora’s Boxxx, where this had all started. It hadn’t taken her long to process that the witch from the shop had done it. It had been the last place she had gone, before waking up with orange fur covering her miniature body. However, her only regret, now, was putting poor Orion through yet another one of her mishaps; this seemingly the worse, since there wasn’t really much context behind her wanting to meet him there. Not only that, would he know it was her when she looked up and greeted him with a meow. She would soon find out.

Coming to a stop, just outside the entrance, she found a spot near the outside wall of the building waiting for him to show. And if all went well, she would walk in a cat and out a human (well almost human) again.

Orion was uncomfortable. Of course, he’d do anything for Layla. Even if that involved a sex shop, which Rio was definitely not confident enough to force himself inside of. Rio and Winston didn’t even sleep in the same bed, how was Rio supposed to casually stroll into a sex shop? But Layla had needed him, and he supposed he could brave the embarrassment if it meant doing her a favor. On his way towards the doors of the shop, a cat popped onto a bench and cutting his path off from the store. “Hey there buddy!” Rio swooped down, running a palm against the cat and scratching behind its ears, “I can’t hang out too long. I gotta go embarrass myself inside of this shop for a friend of mine.” He continued petting the cut for another few seconds before standing back up and side stepping the cat to walk into the store.

Layla sat patiently waiting for Rio, when she finally spotted him. Leaping onto a nearby bench, she meowed as she felt his hand come down on her ears. Ear scratches are the best! Agh. Focus, Layla. Rio’s words had made an odd noise come out of her small cat body that resembled a laugh, before she hopped down and slipped inside the door once it was open. I promise I’ll make this up to you, Orion. I don’t know how, but I will. She wasn’t entirely sure how this was going to work, but as she entered the store, she set her eyes upward, looking around for Cordy. At least with Rio there, she felt safe. Otherwise, a cat facing a witch alone was going to be a major task.

Welp, there was the bell. Customers. Eugh. Cordy uncrossed her legs and gave her hat a tilt up to properly see who came in. Why was there a kid in here? “We should really just hang up a sign that says Mime E. Stripes is next door. Wrong building, kid.” She went to tilt her hat back down, but she saw a cat tail waltzing across the store. Presumably attached to a cat. Cordy sighed and peeked over the display, looking down at the orange tabby that’d slipped inside. “Look what the you dragged in. That you, Cherry? Think you could use a shave before you try and get back into your jorts.” Cordy snickered and turned her attention back over to the kid. “Lemme guess, belly button stickers? Or are you here for a nice banshee ball gag? There’s been a lotta screaming around town lately.”

There was a lot that Orion was not comfortable with as soon as he stepped inside the store. His best bet at finding Layla was probably just to ask someone. She was memorable, right? He was vaguely aware that the cat had followed him inside and hoped that the cat was some sort of store cat or… y’know he got the joke about a cat being in a sex shop. Clever. He used the palms of his hands to block either side of his vision and made a beeline for the counter. On his way, he bumped against a display of phallic objects and the entire thing shook, Rio reaching out to try to stabilize it before realizing what he had been reaching out for and jerking his hand back. “This is torture.” Rio mumbled to himself, realizing that the woman had already started talking to him and… the cat(?) before he even made it to the counter. “Uh- no. Neither of those things please. I don’t scream.” Rio paused for a minute as he reflected on his choice of words before deciding to pretend that he never said them and continuing on, “I’m looking for a friend of mine. Short. Red hair. A quirky sassiness that makes her lovable? Please tell me that rings some bells.”

Cherry. Cordy knew exactly who Layla was, and as soon as she heard the woman’s voice, she trotted over to the counter and leaped up onto it. Pacing back and forth, she hissed at the witch who had done this to her. Scratching her eyes out wasn’t exactly an option, but making her displeasure known was well within the cat’s rights. You did this, and you’re gonna fix it, Witch! However, Rio’s words caught her attention. Turning to face him, she watched as he nearly knocked over an entire display of penis shaped objects, and the embarrassment present in his voice and actions made Layla realize just how much she was going to owe him, but first she had to somehow let him know it was her. It’s me, Rio! I’m right here! Meowing and pawing at him, she had hoped he would figure it out.

Oh, this was gonna be fun. Cordy’s mouth stretched into a wide smile as she watched the teenager tumble around the store like a child lost in a shopping mall. “Torture? Nah. Those are dildos. If you want torture, it’s in the last aisle to the left,” Cordy said, pointing with her thumb. He didn’t strike her as the type, but maybe Annabel would’ve seen something in him that she was missing. “Wasn’t saying you were the screamer, but I think anyone could scream with the right persuasion.” She winked at him, just to watch him squirm. His description rang some bells alright, and Cordy had to wonder if the kid had any idea that the cat that’d hopped up on the counter was probably the friend he was looking for. “No redheads in here,” Cordy said, straightening up the display case of penis candy that the cat swatted at. She shot Layla a glare and turned her attention back to the blue-haired teenager. She needed to get him outta here before he caught on. “Anyways, haven’t seen your friend. And don’t mind the store cat. She acts out whenever a virgin walks in.”

This was Orion’s nightmare. Worse than his nightmares actually. At least in those he was just being chased by monsters and killed or something. This was way worse than that. “Oh. Ha ha. Yes. Right.” He didn’t even know which part of the worker’s sentence he was replying to. The cat was meowing and pawing at him again, and Rio scratched at the cat again absentmindedly. “Hey kitty,” he spoke aloud but was more focused on the worker and hopefully on finding Layla. Unfortunately, there was no such luck. Either she was running late, or Rio had gotten the wrong address. He was pretty sure he preferred the latter, actually. Maybe he should try calling her again and- Did that employee just call him a virgin?? Rio immediately broke into a stream of nervous giggling at the accusation. It was true, but was it really that obvious? “Your cat can’t actually do that can she?” Rio looked down at the cat again. That had to have been a joke, right? Unless it was some sort of magic not cat. No, it was a joke. “That was a joke. I realize that now. Um.. okay. Well I guess I will just sorta… wait for her to get here then.” The cat wouldn’t seem to leave him alone, “Your cat seems to really like me.”

Are you shitting me? Rio! It’s me!!! It’s Layla!!! She meowed louder as she listened to the two humans in the room talk. How was she going to make him know it was her? Looking back at Cordy, she knew she would have to somehow get the woman to show her cards. She could easily convince Rio that Layla was just the store cat, and in knowing that (and seeing it working), she opted to do something really stupid. Well, hopefully this will make some kind of difference. Otherwise, dying as a cat might actually happen...Giving a nudge into Rio’s hand one last time, Layla turned around, and without any warning, she took off running towards Cordy. With her claws out, she launched herself off the counter and onto the woman’s face and shoulders. Hissing and yowling, she sank her teeth down into Cordy’s head. Would a store cat do this you evil witch!?

“She can, actually!” Cordy chirped, the lie coming easy and guilt-free, “No joke, don’t know how she does it. Maybe it’s like those cats who predict when people are gonna die, except so much better.” All the blood had drained from the kid’s face, and Cordy chuckled. It didn’t matter that Layla was capturing his attention; the cat had no way to communicate. So why not have some more fun? Cordy tilted her head and crossed her arms. “You know, if you don’t believe me, you could always test it out. Go find yourself a pitcher and come back later. Besides, not like your friend is here right n--” The sharp ball of furry fury pounced on her head before she could stop it. Cordy shrieked as she felt sharp claws digging and teeth digging into her scalp. Magic, dumbass, use magic. But that was the drawback of tapping into concentration and meditation for her abilities -- there was no concentration to be found right now. Gaia, her ma would’ve just blasted the damn feline off her skull. “Get off! Get off right now! Don’t make me turn you into a toad next!”

Orion remained suspicious, but this was White Crest. For all Rio knew this could be some weird sort of fae or like a magical, cursed cat. It didn’t seem entirely outside the realm of impossibility. Rio was so perplexed by the cat that he didn’t even have time to be offended by this worker clearly making fun of his virginity. He knew it was obvious that he was but still. Rude. “Intriguing.” Rio murmured; eyes trained on the cat still. It was better than looking at anything else in the store right now. “I uh- a what?” Rio questioned, thinking through the limited knowledge he had of sports, “Uhh… I don’t play baseball.” He never got any clarification however, since the cat leapt at the woman’s face and attacked her. “Oh my god!” Rio yelled, immediately going into panicking mode. He started to move towards the woman but stopped when he heard her. Turn you into a toad next? Rio froze, staring at the scene unfolding between him as the puzzle pieces slowly fit into place in his brain, “Holy- Layla??” Rio called out to the cat. What the heck was going on? Why was Layla a cat? “Did you turn my friend into a cat?”

The small, orange cat continued her plot of revenge hoping it would pay off, and when she was able to train her eyes on Rio and see the gears turning, she knew it was working. It had also felt good to sink her teeth into the head of someone so spiteful and without letting go, she began gnawing on the tight skin and hair, releasing a low growl in the process. But when Rio spoke her name, she released Cordy’s noggin and looked up. Yes!!! It’s me! It’s me, Rio!!! She did turn me into a cat! Help me!!! All she had wanted to be was a human again. Though seeing the world through cat eyes made her look at life differently, it was becoming way too easy to forget details about her human and werewolf life, and that could only mean one thing. That if Layla wasn’t freed from the curse soon, she would be a cat forever. 

“The cat’s name is Fleabag!” Cordy yelled, as Layla teeth sank into her skin again. Ow, maybe she really should’ve turned this girl into a toad instead. Both virgin and feline were persistent though, and she knew it was too late to truly convince him the cat wasn’t Layla. One of the cat’s claws pierced her cheek, and she’d had enough. She pushed through the pain and closed her eyes, picturing a barrier surrounding herself, it didn’t have to be strong. Maybe Annabel had been right about that sanctorum spell being a good idea. She clapped her hands, a weak, invisible barrier wrapping around her, and Layla the cat went flying onto the counter, repelled by it. “Try that again, Layla, and I’ll have animal control come and euthanize you,” Cordy said through gritted teeth. Okay, so maybe that’d be harsh even for her, but-- she pushed her hat back onto her bleeding scalp and head of messy hair. “Not like I pulled your fur.” She crossed her arms and glared at the cat and the boy. “It’s permanent, anyways, so guess you’re outta luck. Find something else to do today.” It was a lie, and Cordy couldn’t help but look past the leprechaun-print thongs, over to the double-headed dildo imbued with magic. 

Apparently, this woman was a liar. Which was rude given how awkward she was making things for Orion, but downright cruel when considering that she knew that Layla was a cat and deliberately hadn’t told him about it. Had she been the one to turn her into the cat? How was turning a human, er- werewolf into a cat even possible? It only made magic even more terrifying. But the woman’s magical abilities became apparent when something sent Layla flying off her and back onto the counter. Rio jerked backwards at first, afraid from the sudden change but then took a step forward, “Hey!” Rio called out in an attempt to sound more threatening than they all knew he was, “Be careful. Don’t hurt her!” The woman claimed it was permanent, but Rio knew better than to trust the woman now. She glanced away from Rio and Rio followed her gaze towards to try to get an idea where she had been looking. Rio began walking over towards it, trying to ignore the fact that he was staring at an alarmingly large display of dildos. But he had no idea what he was looking for. “How do I fix this?” Rio spun back around to look at her, a scowl deepening on his face. He didn’t like the idea of trying to threaten her. He knew he wouldn’t be any good at it. The only idea he had in his mind was appealing to her less than motivated side. His only chance of getting any information from her was to try to appeal to something she may not want to deal with. Rio picked the spot closest to where he thought she had been looking and picked up one of the packages. He didn’t even want to look at the thing that he was holding, but in one move he ripped the packaging in half and tore the dildo into two. Nothing happened, so he figured he hadn’t gotten lucky on the first try. “Just tell me please. I don’t want to do this anymore than you want to clean up the mess.” Rio discarded the trash he had been holding and grabbed onto the display carrying an assortment of… he had no idea what those ball shaped things were. But he twisted his wrist, snapping the wood frame of the shelving and sending the objects down and scattering the floor. “I just want my friend back.”

Getting flung back onto the counter had knocked the wind out of Layla, but before long, she was back up on her feet. Shaking off the trip through the air, she snarled at Cordy, until she noticed what the woman’s eyes were staring at. Turning her head, she spotted it. The huge double headed cockasaurces that had smacked her in the face and started all this mess. And she also watched as Rio made his way over to the display and shelving and began breaking dildos. Awwww, Rio. You’re breaking dildos for me. That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done. Realizing they would be there all night, considering Pandora’s Boxxx had an alarmingly large number of dildos available, Layla hopped off the counter and trotted over to the products. Looking up at Rio, she meowed, before standing up on her hind legs and swatting at the dreaded cursed item. This one! This is the one that made me like...this!

The employee was not being helpful in the slightest. Orion crossed his arms in a pout and considered his next options. He had reached the max capacity of being threatening to no avail, she still refused to give him any hints as to where to find whatever he was looking for. Until Layla jumped down from the counter and found Rio, swerving between the pile collecting on the floor and climbing up until she was swatting at an uncomfortably large phallic symbol that Rio had not yet gotten to. After all this, and Layla knew which one it had been the entire time? “Uh, oh? You knew? Yikes. Sorry abou-” Rio scratched at his neck nervously and began apologizing towards the woman behind the counter before stopping himself, “Wait! Never mind. You’re mean. So I’m not sorry.” As far as Rio was concerned, that was a win in his book. “So, I just break it?” Rio questioned, grabbing at it nervously and feeling strange holding it in his hands. He waited for confirmation before he squeezed his eyes shut and ripped the thing in half.

Layla watched Rio. Why are you still apologizing to the witch!? She was relieved when he had come to his senses though. But what brought her more relief, and in the most awkward of ways? Orion holding the huge hulking dildo that had gotten her in this situation in the first place. Break it! Break the dick!!! Layla watched longingly as Rio snapped the double headed cockasaurces in half. The pop had been one of the best sounds she had heard in a long time. However, once it was separated, nothing seemed to be happening; at least not quickly. And then it hit. A sharp pain had caused a shrill, loud yowl to escape her small snout. Panting fiercely, Layla stumbled forward. Everything hurt. Her small body was burning up, and she felt much like how she did after changing on a full moon. With little legs carrying her away from Rio and towards the back of the store, the teenager lost her balance before everything seemed to go black. And when her eyes opened again everything felt...different.

Her eyes betrayed her. She knew the kid saw exactly what she was looking at. Too much movement would break her barrier spell, and Cordy didn’t want to risk getting mauled by a pissed off cat again. Although... even that was probably better than getting mauled by a werewolf. Would that make her one, too? Shit, that werewolf-cat bit her scalp. Did that mean she was about to become a werewolf? Or a cat? Or-- the thought of losing her magic made her freeze, and she stood there in terror as the boy followed the cat over to the dildo. What if it wasn’t too late? She’d taken too long to make up her mind -- the dildo was in his hands and-- “Stop!” Cordy shouted, leaping over the counter. She could feel the barrier shattering around her skin, but that didn’t matter right now. She was not about to let them break her merchandise and, in the event, that she wasn’t already fucked over and going to grow fur on the next full moon, she needed Layla to stay a cat. “That’s a custom item! You can’t break it! The nymphs will--” The popping noise filled the store, and Cordy could feel the magic spilling out of the dildo in a stream, and as the cat screeched and scampered away, she knew the spell was breaking. “I’m boned, aren’t I?” If these children weren’t about to murder her, then Annabel certainly would. 

As soon as the dildo was broken, Orion dropped the pieces on the floor and hopped away from it. He had touched more phallic objects in the last twenty minutes than he had in his entire life. More than he ever imagined that he would touch in his whole lifetime. Layla ran off to the back of the store, and Rio thought about following her but eventually decided against it. He had no idea how she would return to human form. The whole thing seemed too intimate for Rio to be a part of. As if this entire situation weren’t far more intimate than Rio had ever wanted. “Is that a sex thing too?” Rio questioned before sighing. It was totally a sex thing. “I don’t understand what you could possibly get from turning my friend into a cat. Was it just some sick joke to you?” Rio scoffed, the mere thought of someone finding something like that funny made Rio nauseous. “You’re messed up.” He crossed his arms, unsure where they went from here. He couldn’t exactly call the cops on her. What would he even tell them? “Layla?” Rio yelled back, sure that if she was a werewolf again that she could hear him. If she could talk, he’d hear her too. If his hearing wanted to cooperate. “You okay back there?” He didn’t want to take his eyes off of the salesperson. He didn’t trust her.

Layla sat up rubbing her head...with her hand? Looking down she noticed she had two hands. Two legs! Two feet and no orange fur!!! Climbing to her feet in excitement, she began to move forward, but stumbled slightly, “Whoa! Wait...I said whoa! I spoke! I can speak!!!” Hearing Rio call for her, the teenager ran back out into the store frantically, “Rio! Rio, I’m me again! I’m not a cat!!!!” Running towards him with tears of joy, she wrapped her arms around him jumping up and down, until she realized one thing, she was stark naked, “Oh God. I don’t...I’m…” Pulling away from him, Layla’s cheeks revealed to be as red as her hair. Scanning the area, she grabbed the closest thing she could to cover herself up, which happened to be a pair of assless jorts while her arms lay across her chest, “Oh c’mon!”

[alicedoessurveys]

Doctor Who Tag

yes im a nerd...

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

I was 10 when it came back on telly with Eccleston and the first episode with the autons scared me so much my mom wouldn't let me watch it again until a couple years later, but yeah my teens I was obsessed with DW... still am at age 25

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

10

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

‘Rose’

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I still have the eleventh doctor’s screwdriver... I used to have some of the figures but there in storage now somewhere

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

didn't play it on the playground

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

all of them! the ones that still scare me now are the Cybermen and the Autons... genuinely cant walk past a shop mannequin without being suspicious 

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

as a kid, any of the innuendo type jokes

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

idk I think I still have the same opinions

9. Who introduced you to DW?

parents

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

I LOVED SJA!! I miss that show, and Elizabeth Slade :(

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

Ten was the doctor that made me fall in love with Doctor Who 

12. Your favourite Doctor?

omg why not just ask me who my favourite child is... (I don't have kids but you know what I mean) if I had to chose my top three are ten, eleven and thirteen

13. Least favourite Doctor?

purely just because he doesn't have enough episodes... nine...

14. Best regeneration?

none of them I hate regenerations :( they make me sad, im too emotionally invested in every single one

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

they're not my faves

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

I think nine maybe? or twelve?

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

the 50th anniversary special 

18. Best Doctor monologue?

“Hello Stonehenge! who takes the pandorica, takes the universe. but bad news everyone, cause guess who? HA! You lot you're all whizzing about- its really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Question of the hour is, who's got the pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on, look at me! No plan. No backup. No weapons worth a damn. oh and something else, I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the pandorica tonight... just remember who's standing in your way. remember ever black day I ever stopped you and then- AND THEN- do the smart thing... let somebody else try first.”

not copied and pasted, remember that from the top of my head... its always there waiting in my mind incase I ever need an epic monologue :’)

19, What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

hopefully living his best life with Rose

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

ten and donna 

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Donna, Clara, Amy

22. Favourite secondary companion?

is Mickey classed as secondary? idk

23. Least favourite companion?

Ryan

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Doctor, Amy and Rory

25. Most underrated companion?

Graham, but that may just be cause I love Bradders

26. Most overrated companion?

Rose... I like her but idk, I think she gets more hype than she deserves.. don't @ me

27. Favourite companion’s family?

Rose’s mom

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

idk I cant think of anyone

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy and Rory

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

wasn't keen on Bill at first but by the end I really liked her, same with Rory

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

girl in the fireplace

32. Least favourite episode?

most of Chibnall’s episodes tbh sorry not sorry 

33. Which episodes do you skip?

the regeneration episodes

34. Best two-parter?

Human Nature - Family of Blood

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

I like them all in there own way but I think present is fave, then historical, then future

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

all of them

37. Episode that will always make you cry?

Rory and Amy’s last episode :’(

38. Best run of episodes?

ugh I cant answer this theres too many 

39. Best cliffhanger?

the end of Spyfall part one when the Master reveals who he is... I was SHOOK

40. Favourite Christmas special?

Voyage of the Damned

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

new who

42. Favourite series?

four or five

43. Least favourite series?

eleven, I just cant with the writing

44. Which series do you skip?

none

45. Favourite series opening?

eleventh hour

46. Favourite series finale?

Doomsday

47. Best series arc?

Bad Wolf

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I adore Jodie Whittaker and her doctor, and although I think 3 companions is too many I do love Yaz and Graham (Ryan is hit & miss). I just think theyve been massively let down by the stories/writing... they’ve tried to hard to tick certain boxes and completely missed what Doctor Who is about for a lot of people.. an escape from the real world into these outrageous unbelievable but lovable fun alien adventures 

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

not a lot

50. Who should have had another series?

NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE 

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

the master 

52. Most creative monster?

Weeping Angels, whoever came up with monsters that look like statues and only move when you're not looking at them is genius 

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Autons, Cybermen, the creepy dolls from Night Terrors, the ones from Waters of Mars, Weeping Angels

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

idk

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

absorbaloff

56. Monster you want to return?

The Master, I really hope that isn't the last we see of Dhawan

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

being genuinely scary, 

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

Weeping Angels

59. Best Dalek story?

Daleks in Manhatten

60. Best one time villain/monster?

my brain has gone blank I cant think of an answer right now 

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

I haven't watched it all so I couldn't say 

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

again, not watched it all 

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

huh

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Sarah Jane

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

K-9

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Nope

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

n/a

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

yes

DESIGN/PRODUCTION

71. Favourite piece of alien tech?

the sonic, I love how it is so multipurpose except for when it comes to wood 

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music?

I am the Doctor - gets me pumped every time 

73. Favourite TARDIS design?

Ten’s Tardis 

74. Has the 2005 era CGI aged well?

actually yeah, I was rewatching the ‘are you my mummy’ episodes the other day and my God when the gas masks emerged from the faces... ooooooof I was like omg how 

75. Favourite Doctor outfit?

eleven or thirteen

76. Monster with the best design?

not really a design more of a costume.. I live Dhawan master’s costume. that shade of purple, oof he so stylish 

77. Best show runner?

idk

78. Best writer?

Gatiss

79. Best opening titles?

eleven’s titles where the Tardis is flying and being zapped is cool but thirteens music hits different 

80. Will DW age well/stay popular in the future?

I hope so, I feel like its lasted this long surely it can last forever.. if the writers don't fuck it up... 

IF YOU WERE IN THE SHOW

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor?

whatever time means Id get to wear the most beautiful costumes

82. Planet/place you’d want to go with the Doctor?

Galifrey, pre-desctruction

83. Doctor you’d most like to travel with?

any of them, please and thank you

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with?

donna, sceso a good laugh but also I feel like she’d look after me 

85. Monster you’d like to defeat/fight?

The Master 

86. If you could go back on your own history (like Father’s Day), where would you go?

back to when I was a toddler, I wanna see what I was like 

87. If you could ask the Doctor anything, what would you ask?

theres too many to ask 

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet?

Shakespeare

89. How do you think you’d meet the Doctor?

id probably be rescued from doing something stupid and then the doc would be like you know what the bitch clearly needs supervision she's coming with me 

90. Would you travel forwards or backwards in time first?

backwards

IF YOU MADE THE SHOW

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW?

Hamilton

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW?

idk 

93. Who would you completely erase from the DW universe?

Ruth

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to?

where is Clara now?

95. Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor?

Phoebe Waller Bridge (or Lin Manuel Miranda)

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

Andrew Scott (yes I did just basically recast fleabag and hot priest)

97. Is DW “too political”?

series 11 got a bit like that 

98. Which characters fate would you changed?

Danny Pink

99. What about DW could be improved?

I think ive made my options about Chibnall pretty clear... 

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do

bring back Jenny, the Doctor / Daughter adventures they would have. I’m actually writing a fic about it if you wanna read.... here

[gold-from-straw]

Divergence - ch5

Sorry this is late!! I had a shite weekend! This chapter includes Erik being super protective and angry and angsty... TW for hints of past suicidal ideation at the very end. I hope you enjoy though!!

Read from the beginning on AO3 if you prefer!

They gathered together in one of the living rooms, all eyes on the three Charleses (Charlesen? What plural could possibly work here?) together on the couch. Raven in particular couldn’t stop staring at the two newcomers.

“Where do you think they came from, Professor?” Alex asked.

“Hopefully Hank will be able to answer that,” Charles said, forcing a smile.

Hank pushed his glasses up on his nose and peered down at the readout on his device. “It’s fascinating, they both seem to have slightly different isotopic balances. Almost like they’ve come from different universes.”

Sean shook his head. “Woah. Time travelling from a different universe, man.”

“I should be able to work out a way to send them back soon enough,” said Hank, smiling up at the Charlesen, who all nodded sagely.

“Send them back?” demanded Erik. “Why on Earth would you do that?”

The room was silent for a moment. Hank cleared his throat. “Well, they are children. They’ve got to be sent back to their parents.”

“So they can be treated like that?” Erik gestured sharply at teenage Charles’ face. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Erik,” said Charles softly, looking up at him.

Why didn’t you tell me? Erik asked, directly into Charles’ mind. You let me mock you for growing up here when you had to endure… this!

“Really, Erik?” Charles said aloud, glaring at him. “You expect me to bother you, of all people, with the… the insignificant hurts of my childhood?”

Erik huffed and gestured to the teenager’s face again. “You call this insignificant?”

Charles turned to his younger self, his brow crinkling up in distress. “No, I…! Oh, I’m sorry, I never...” He sighed and closed his eyes, biting his lip.

“It’s OK,” said young Charles softly.

“No… no, it’s not,” said Charles, cupping the boy’s cheek and looking at the mess of his face. “It’s not OK at all.” He huffed something like a laugh. “It’s… easier to be compassionate with you than with myself. I’m sorry.”

“I’m with Erik here,” said Sean, and Erik raised his eyebrows in surprise. “But if you two stay, we’re gonna have to think of new names for all of you. I’ve been calling you Baby Charles and Young Charles in my head and it’s not working out for me.”

Erik rolled his eyes, but everyone else laughed, clinging to anything to relieve the tension. “And what are you calling me, dare I ask?” Charles said.

“Professor,” replied Sean promptly.

Charles laughed again. “Well, I’m fine with that.”

“I’m not calling you Professor,” Erik said. The others laughed once more, and Erik let them, but he was serious. He wasn’t happy about calling either of the children Charles either, not when that name had come to mean the only good part of the world to him, encompassing frustration and debate, admiration and the deepest, yearning love.

He heard the slight gasp and looked up to see the teenager staring at him, wide eyed and pink cheeked.

Shit. Obviously Charles developed his morals a little older than that.

The boy hunched slightly, and Charles - Erik’s Charles (even if he never truly would be Erik’s…) took the boy’s hand with a worried glance.

“N-nothing,” the boy said, then gulped and flushed again as he realised he’d answered a telepathic question out loud. He looked around at the roomful of people. “Uh, I don’t mind being called Francis. It’s my - our - middle name.”

“Can I be Arthur?” asked the smallest Charles, jumping up and down in his seat. “Like in the Sword in the Stone, he--” Then he froze, and looked around warily. “That is… if I’m allowed?” He hunched his shoulders. “I suppose I wouldn’t be a very good king, not like Arthur.”

“You’d be an amazing King Arthur,” said Raven firmly. Her voice sounded strangled.

Little Charles - Arthur - sat up straight again and beamed at her. Charles smiled down at him fondly, and Erik looked away from him before he started projecting his emotions to anyone else. He cleared his throat and caught Francis’ eye. “Come on,” he said, jerking his head to the side. “I’ll teach you to throw a punch.”

“Erik, no!” Charles cried. “He’s only a boy!”

“A boy who’s having the crap beaten out of him on a regular basis, by the look of it,” Erik said. He started walking out, and Charles scrambled to catch him.

“Erik, please. Look, if he is going to be staying here, he won’t have to worry about Kurt, so you don’t need to--”

“There’s more than one bastard in the world,” Erik said. He stopped suddenly and glared down at Charles, trying to forget that he wanted nothing more than to gather this impossible, beautiful man up, with his ridiculous hair and stupid hidden hurts, and fold him close. Pretend Erik could be soft for him. Lovable.

He swallowed it all down. “You know, at a certain point, pacifism isn’t a moral stance, Charles. It’s just a word a battered boy uses to fool himself into thinking he’s got a choice. Turning the other cheek doesn’t count if someone’s holding your face.”

Charles looked broken for an instant before his face closed off. Immediately, Erik regretted all of it. “Charles,” he said, reaching for him, but Charles pushed past.

And there, right behind him, cowering close to the wall, was Francis.

“Did you hear all of that?”

Francis’ eyes darted here and there, but he nodded once, sharply.

Erik sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel Francis’ distress rolling off him in waves, and for a moment he seriously considered walking away, letting someone more qualified than him find the boy and fix the mess he’d made. “Come on,” he said at last. “I promised you a lesson.”

Francis hesitated, then trotted after Erik. In the gym, he turned to the boy and strapped a pair of knuckle gloves on his hands. “Right. Let’s see you throw a punch.” He gestured to the nearest punch bag.

Francis glanced up at him, took a couple of shallow breaths, then swung wildly at the bag, his floppy brown hair falling over his scrunched up eyes.

“Hurts, hmm?” Erik said, raising an eyebrow.

Francis hunched slightly. “N-no, sir.”

“The way you just hit the bag, I’m amazed you haven’t broken a thumb. Here.” He pulled Francis’ glove back off. “Bend your knuckles one, then two, then put your thumb on the outside. No, not there, those big knuckles are the part you hit with. Down across the second knuckles, that’s it.” He held Francis’ wrist and slapped the flat of his fist. “Remember that, yes?”

“One, two, three,” said Francis, opening and closing his hand.

Erik replaced the glove and held out his hand, forming a fist as he’d just shown the boy. “Remember - one, two, three. No more loose fists. Now, try again.”

Francis punched the bag. “Good,” said Erik. “Again. And again. Again.”

Francis threw punch after punch at the bag, until his hair was lying lank and sweaty against his forehead. “We’ll leave it there for today,” Erik said, unwrapping Francis’ gloves again. The boy sagged in relief, and Erik chuckled. “Go get a drink and a shower.”

Francis turned to the door, then hesitated. “Do you really feel that way about him? About us, I suppose?”

Erik gritted his teeth and looked at Francis. Why couldn’t he just let it go? Francis hunched again. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll just…”

“Just him,” Erik said gruffly. “You’re from a different world. You’re not him. And more than that, you’re sixteen, you’re a child. Whatever you overhear of my feelings for him, they’re no threat to you.” He frowned. “Or him, of course, but--”

“I didn’t think that! I just…” he swallowed and wrung the blazer in his hands. “I was just… is he? Homosexual?”

“I don’t--”

“Because I think I…” Francis sniffed and looked down, then visibly steeled himself. “I think… there’s a boy in my school and I--”

Erik groaned. He was not made for these kinds of conversations! “I don’t know, Francis, you’d have to ask him.”

“But what if… what if we’re different? That way? What if I’m just a… a freak, and he’s disgusted by me - or what if he’s ashamed of the way I think - the way he was?”

Erik put both hands on Francis’ shoulders. “No, Charles is nothing like that. He would never make you feel that way.”

Francis bit his lip and his chin wobbled. Erik sighed. “If you like, I’ll have a word with him first. Let him know how much it means to you, that he accepts you?”

Francis shook his head violently. “Then he’ll know… he might be sick of me because I’m so pathetic and needy… and--”

“Hey, hey!” Erik squeezed his shoulders, embarrassment and exasperation with the conversation fading away to concern. “You’re none of those things, you hear me? Now, would you say those things - or even think them - about your younger self? About Arthur?”

Francis shook his head, tears sliding down his cheeks. Erik tugged him into a hug. “Then you have nothing to worry about from Charles. You won’t have changed that much in ten years.”

He held Francis as he wept quietly, and wondered if the same could be said of him. If his sixteen-year-old self would recognise him, or if he’d be terrified of him. If he’d be proud of all he’d achieved, or still wish he’d died in the camps.

I have a permanent tag list for this, if you’d like to be added please let me know! Otherwise I just add people who interacted with the last chapter! Thank you <3 @insertmeaningfulusername, @mathmusicreading, @colonelsebbiemoran, @ethanstcoulson, @gerec, @kungpao-giffy, @mnemo-ink, @writing-with-melon, @melonreblogsstories, @these-maginot-lines, @unluvablemisfit, @fullmetalcarer, @lyricfulloflight, @marveltrashblog, @ketchavies-thoorrrr666, @ketch-em-all, @cheeseplatypusandiceskates, @threecheer, @like-a-never-ending-rainstorm, @princ3ss-of-the-m00n, @kernezelda, @thepaintingsafake, @askprofessorx, @kaeden4, @akasanata, @st4rprinc3ss, @suriya-12, @thechaoticwave

[indigosandviolets]

Reflections

Pairing: Joseph Liebgott x OC x George Luz

Word Count: 2,771

Summary: Andrew reflects on his life after the loss of a portion of his ear. He and Luz joke and contemplate what Speirs has done. As Easy company starts the move to Carentan, Andrew feels the guilt begin to deep into him.

Part Five of We Happy Few

TW: internalized homophobia/transphobia in it (it’s not a lot, but it’s implied), implied period typical homophobia/transphobia

-

June 7th, 1944

D-Day +2

Andrew held the little mirror in his hand. The small, fragile piece of glass heavily contrasted the coarseness of Andrew’s calloused palm and fingers. He could see where his face was caked with mud, his cheeks just sunburned enough to make them turn pink, but not dark enough that his freckles didn’t show through. He had gotten a good deal of the blood off, but there were some parts on his inner ear where it was still caked up. He had tried to get rid of it, but the mangled flesh was still too sore to fully clean up like he wanted. It wasn’t going to get infected, hopefully, but he’d have to wait for Doc Roe to show up in order to make that call.

Andrew looked back at his face again. He was brought back to the mirror back at Toccoa. The once small man who didn’t know what the hell to do with a gun was now a killer -- a bonafide, sure enough, killer. He was still small, but he wasn’t puny — he was stronger now, he had hardened. His eyes had hardened, that’s how he could tell. He couldn’t tell if it was because of the lighting, but the once bright green had turned dark, almost cold, dead. But his eyes weren’t dead—he had seen dead eyes. Maybe he was just missing life.

He had done things he wished that no one else would have to do because that was what he was meant to do. He had started to adopt that standard US Army look. The rough man who had seen too many things for him to just let go of what happened.

Andrew remembered that look from his uncle. His uncle Andy always seemed like he hadn’t fully recovered from the war. He would be talking normally, having a good time, playing with him and Albert when they would say a certain thing and Uncle Andy would just slow down a bit. He’d stop and think and then the smile would drop from his face and he’d sit down. Then Albert would say his name and Uncle Andy would snap out of it, but he wouldn’t have the same vibrancy he had before.

Maybe that look was a recurring thing the Marin men. Maybe that look was just present with the Andrew’s in the family.

It’s the look that Martin always had, and Guarnere too. They had the “I don’t take shit from anyone” looks about them, all the time. The only difference was that Andrew was willing to put up with a whole lot more than they would. He had too -- it’s how he grew up.

Then he’s back to that little town in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. He’s with Al, wishing him well before he heads off to Chicago to make a better life for himself with Lorena. Sometimes, Andrew gets that little nagging thought. That thought that he should have gone with them. But, Andrew was sixteen when Albert left. He was still, in every way, shape, and form, a child. A child who had to do what his parents said.

Maybe that’s why he joined the Army. Sure, the war had just started and the Army needed good young men to fight, but maybe he did it to escape. To get away from that little town in the middle of nowhere that seemed to always be stuck in the back of his mind. Sure, Andrew had plenty of time to figure out what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go after the war, but if he didn’t figure out soon he’d be back in that little piece of shit town that he despised.

His parents were in that town, maybe that’s why he hated it. The constant nagging, beratement and just all-out mental torture of living with them ate Andrew from the inside out. They found every last punctilio and made him feel awful for it. They never paid attention to where he excelled or what made him happy -- they just always found the things that he didn’t like, and things he did enjoy they ruined for him.

He remembers the night he left very well. He packed up all of his things, took his father’s truck, and drove until the sun came up. He was just outside of Chicago and showed up at Albert’s without any warning. He felt bad about it, showing up at their doorstep unannounced, but he had to. Albert let him in with open, warm, understanding arms and he stayed with them for two weeks before signing up for the Army.

Those two weeks were the most pain-filled yet. His parents wouldn’t stop calling Albert, trying to figure out where Andrew had gone. He took everything with a picture of himself in it and threw it away in a dumpster somewhere outside of a little pub downtown, so it was like Andrew never existed to his family, except for the pictures of just him and Albert. The only thing that Andrew kept of himself was his birth certificate, but he ended up getting a new one anyway.

And then, like that, Andrew was gone. First at Fort Benning, then straight to Toccoa, no questions asked. It was almost two months since Andrew had left, and the letter he sent them was the last contact he had planned to have with them. The only contact he had planned to have with them, at least.

Now, staring at his reflection, he had realized he was far different than that boy who wished his brother off some four years ago.

Andrew wondered about the stories of the other men, wondering if they, too, had gone through the same troubles, but then, Andrew realized, they couldn’t have. These men, despite the Army branding them almost entirely the same to the public, were far more different than anyone could have realized.

Andrew took off his helmet, seeing his hair in the mirror. The side of his head was stained a darker color from the blood that had dried in it, but his usually brown hair had lightened to a dirty blonde when he was at Toccoa. Finally, he found it in himself to smile. He had become a man, now, he had realized, and he was happy with that. It’s everything he had ever wanted.

-

Blithe was a man who was a mystery to Andrew Marin. He had this lost look about him like he didn’t know what he was doing in Normandy, and to be fair, that’s how all of the men felt, but they didn’t express it quite the Blithe did. Andrew would sometimes steal glances from Blithe, trying to figure out what was going on with that man, but he couldn’t figure out a thing.

Andrew and Luz sat together, Luz pulling out his Lucky Strikes. “Zigarette?”

“Danke,” Andrew says, taking one. He holds it over his lighter before lighting Luz’s. They knew it was fucked up, joking like this, but it was a damn war. Everything was fucked up.

“Are we both switching from French to German?” Luz asks, before putting on his shotty French accent. “Because I don’t think I can lose this battle easily, mon cher.”

Andrew chuckles. “As long as we’re in Nazi France, I’d rather hear you try to pronounce German than hear that stupid accent.”

“You said it wasn’t that bad!”

“I said it needed work, and it clearly does,” Andrew tells him. He can’t think of anything to say, so he goes back to the zigarette. “You think Speirs did it?”

Luz shrugged. “I dunno. I mean, they’re POWs. He’s not supposed to kill them.”

“Not answering the question, my dear Luz,” Andrew says, taking a drag. “Do you think he did it?”

“Well, I know Malarkey didn’t,” Luz says, and Andrew chuckles. “Did you see the way he was talking to that one kraut? It was insane. Like they had known each other for years.”

Andrew nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well, what about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think he did it?”

Andrew shrugged. “I mean, probably. The guard wouldn’t have done it, and they wouldn’t have all been able to kill themselves, and Malarkey sure as hell didn’t,” he replies. “More likely than not, it was Speirs.”

Andrew thought for a moment. “Maybe it was Toye. I saw him punch one of the Germans in the face, brass knuckles. Knocked the guy right out.”

Luz shook his head. “No, Toye was with me and Guarnere when it happened, it couldn’t have been him.”

“Maybe Compton?”

Luz laughed. “Are you kidding me?”

“You’ve got to explore every possibility, Luz.”

“Well, then, what about you?” Luz asks. “What were you doing at the time of the crime, Mr. Marin?” Luz asks in a deep, news-reporter-esque voice.

You were kissing Liebgott, you idiot. “I was waiting for a cup of coffee from you.” You were kissing the hell out of Liebgott while Luz was doing something nice for you. How much of a bastard can you be?

“Do you have anyone that can corroborate your alibi?”

Andrew chuckled, taking another drag from his cigarette. Luz had his hand out like he was holding a microphone.

“You’re an idiot, George Luz,” Andrew tells him, and Luz takes his hand away.

“Oh, is that right?” Luz asks, moving closer to Andrew. “I’m an idiot?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Well, would an idiot do this?” Luz asks before pulling Andrew in for a kiss. Despite the cigarettes, Andrew can’t taste them. He just tastes Luz — the lovable, lovable man that is George Luz.

Andrew pulls away, smiling at him. “Yeah, if he wants Strayor to beat the shit out of him.” Luz puts on a fake pout, making Andrew laugh. “C’mon, you know I’m joking.”

“I know that you’re right, that’s the problem.”

Andrew sighs, trying to think of something else to talk about. He pulls out the mirror from his pocket again, focusing it on his ear. “You think I can get a Purple Heart for this?”

Luz moves his head back and tilts it to the side. He reaches out, moving Andrew’s head slightly, examining the ear. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Andrew says, turning to him. “What do you mean, ‘maybe’?”

“I don’t know how Purple Hearts work!” Luz tells him. “You get ‘em for being wounded in combat, I know that, but I don’t know the parameters!”

“A whole chunk of my ear is missing, Luz!”

“I can see that, Andrew!”

Andrew shoves the mirror piece back into his pocket. “I got off better than Popeye, at least.”

“Yeah, you did,” Luz laughed. “Imagine getting shot in the ass, of all places.”

“Imagine having to see it.”

Luz laughed even harder. “I can’t tell if that’s better or worse.”

“Hell if I know, I’ve only seen it,” Andrew takes the last drag from his cigarette before dropping it and stamping it out. “But I sure as hell know he’s getting that Purple Heart.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get yours,” Luz tells him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “It’s the Army, we all get Purple Hearts, or we all die trying.”

Andrew laughed for a moment but then he stopped, realizing what Luz was implying. “Don’t say that! You better not get shot, or I swear to god I’ll kill you.”

“You’ll kill me for not dying?”

“Yes!”

“How does that make any sense?”

“What do you want me to say?” Andrew asks. “I’ll kill you for dying? How can I kill you if you’re already dead?”

“It’s not that part that doesn’t make any sense, Andrew, it’s the part about you killing me because I survived.”

“That’s not why I would kill you, Luz,” Andrew clarifies. “I’d kill you because you were dumb enough to get shot in the first place.”

Luz looks at Andrew with a humorous look on his face. “Because I was dumb enough to get shot?”

“Yes.”

“Because I was dumb enough to get shot?”

“Yes!”

“Andrew, you are literally missing a part of your ear because you got shot.”

“We’re not talking about my faults, Luz, we’re talking about you being an idiot.”

“So we’re back to this again?”

Andrew chuckles. “Yes, my dearest Luz, we are.”

“You’re impossible, Andrew.”

“I know.”

-

Andrew couldn’t tell if the dirt on his face was really there or if it was just shown to him in the mirror. He wondered how he managed to get both Luz and Liebgott to like him with all the dirt on his face. Neither of them had mentioned it, probably because everyone had some. It was good camouflage, but he was almost too pale to make it convincing.

Then again, there were a lot of things about himself that made him wonder how he was convincing at all.

He felt a weight on his chest -- guilt. He was lying, and it wasn’t only to Liebgott and Luz. It was to the entire American military. He was lying about who he was. Well, not really, but he was lying about the reality of who he was, even to himself.

Filthy liar, Andrew thought as he stared at himself in the little mirror. Little filthy liar. He wasn’t just dirty because of the mud and black paint on his face, the dirt spread from the outside in, soaking into his skin and refusing to let him go.

He had hardly noticed the tears when one fell, hitting the small piece of glass in his hand, but now that he knew they existed he wanted to get rid of them. He couldn’t show that he was crying. He simply couldn’t. He wasn’t alone in the forest of Normandy with Luz anymore. Anyone could see him. He could expose himself simply because his own damn reflection made him cry.

He wiped up the tears as fast as he could, standing up and putting the little mirror into his pocket. He opened up his canteen, pouring a little bit of water into his hand and splashing it on his face. He hoped to cover up the puffiness of his eyes, but if need be he could hopefully blame it on being tired and a lack of sleep.

“Easy Company, on the road!” Someone cried out, followed by an audible groan from most of the men. Andrew slips his helmet back on and slings his M-1 back around.

“Easy’s moving out!” Cries out Welsh as Andrew walks back up towards Luz.

“Heard you the first time,” Andrew mutters and Luz chuckles.

“No talking, no smoking and no playing grab-fanny with the man in front of you, Luz,” Welsh announces as he passes the two of them.

“More like beside me,” Luz whispers over to Andrew, who promptly smacks him on the shoulder, mouthing ‘not now’ to him. Luz still has that stupid grin on his face before going to do what he does best.

“Remember boys — give me three days and three nights of hard fighting, and you will be relieved,” he announces in his loud General Taylor voice. Andrew chuckles which makes Luz even happier. If there’s anything to make Andrew feel better, it’s Luz’s impressions. It’s obvious Luz can tell something’s up, but he doesn’t say anything about it. “Another thing to remember, boys: flies spread disease; so keep yours closed."

Someone says, “Shut up, Luz,” but it’s not Andrew. Andrew couldn’t be happier with the impression.

“Are you okay?” Luz asks quietly, and for the first time, Andrew doesn’t know how to respond. He can’t. He just wants to blurt out everything on his mind, vomit out his guilt but he can’t. As much as he wants to, he can’t. If he did, he wouldn’t have to rely on Luz’s General Taylor impression — Taylor would be there, chewing him out and sending him back home to the hell of his parents. He couldn’t do that.

“It’s nothing too bad,” Andrew tells him. “I think I rolled over on my ear last night, hurts like a bitch.”

Luz nods, and Andrew sees for the first time a look that seems to show that Luz doesn’t quite believe him. It’s a quick look, but it fills Andrew’s stomach with guilt and makes him want to throw up even more.

“Are you sure?” Luz asks him. Of course not. I’ve been lying to you for years, Luz.

Andrew sighs. “We’re not supposed to be talking, are we?”

Luz pouts a little bit. “You promise to tell me what’s wrong when we can talk again?”

Andrew nods. As much as I can.

-

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