#here's to using lycanthropy as a metaphor

[sylph-song]

Thinking about Remus meeting someone that has the same sense of self loathing as he does. Watching them say the same things about themself that he's been thinking about himself for years.

Personally, as someone who legitimately hates themselves, it breaks me whenever I see someone who also struggles with self loathing. I find a lot of content about Remus extremely hard to get through specifically because whenever I see him call himself a monster I'm just like "is that what I sound like?" and it breaks my heart.

How long would it take him to realize that neither of them deserve to feel this way? Would he be empathetic and nonjudgmental or would he run from it because that shit is scary as hell to confront? Would he even realize that he's just like them?

[creative-clawmarks]

Longass Vampire AU Loredump

I feel I should preface this with the most important fact of this AU: supernatural beings are not actually a part of this world.

What I mean by this is there is no secret society of vampires, there is no chapter in the medical books on lycanthropy, and ghost hunters still have not found conclusive evidence. As far as you or I or anyone else knows the cast of MH are the only things like them in existence.

Because the Operator did this to them.

It's a parasite, and its strategy is to make people into predators then mop up the trail of bodies they leave behind.

As for why their monstrosity takes the specific forms it does? The Watsonian Explanation is that we will never really know, such things are beyond people's understanding. The Doyalist Explanation is that I have taken the character's metaphorical roles and made them literal to give myself an excuse to draw sharp teeth.

With that out of the way, here's what these freaks are actually capable of:

Alex (Vampire):

Standard package of fast healing, unnatural speed, and unbeating heart. Probably immortal but I guess now we'll never know.

Drinks blood, of course. But I like my vamps fucked up so there's a good dose of gory cannibalism for flavor.

He won't combust in the sun or anything, but his skin is especially sensitive to heat and his eyes are especially sensitive to light.

Heightened hearing, he could hunt someone down with his eyes closed just by tracking their heartbeat.

Venomous, specifically paralytic toxins. Once he's bitten you there's no running away, you're basically screwed.

Fangs and claws are retractable. I also gave him a forked tongue because he's like a terrarium snake to me :)

"Once more I have seen the director go out in his lizard fashion."

He can purr. Because I know what the people want.

Tim (Werewolf):

Standard package of fast healing, unnatural strength, and canine features. Would rather not think about whether or not he's immortal.

Does not hunger for human flesh. If given the opportunity he might maul a deer tho.

Burned by the touch of silver. He also personally thinks wolfsbane is gross but that's unrelated.

When in human form he's mostly that, human. Sure his senses are sharper and he can grow out his teeth and claws a little bit but otherwise he's normal.

When in wolf form, on the other hand, he is DANGEROUS. I'm talking bite through steel tear you in half only thing that can stop him is a silver bullet dangerous.

The wolf form is analogous to Masky in this AU, as in he turns against his will whenever he's threatened or misses a dose and he won't remember much whenever he eventually turns back.

The only time he can change under his own power with his mind intact is during the full moon. He looks forward to it every month because without the threat of loosing control being a wolf is rad actually.

If you scratch him under the chin he goes boneless. Doesn't matter what form he's in.

Brian (Ghost):

Standard package of walk through walls, disappear, and fly. I don't think the term immortal applies to this situation tho...

You know the excuse that ghost don't just physically manifest cuz they don't have enough energy for it? Yeah he's so incandescently pissed that he's tangible more often than not.

Its actually kind of the opposite conundrum where he has to focus and calm down to actually use his ghostly abilities.

Salt circles will totally work on him, but good luck catching him first lol.

Even if you can't see him you can still sort of feel his presence, the room will get colder and the shadows will get deeper.

If you catch him on a bad day he can pull some Poltergeist TM level shenanigans.

Can't really communicate like he used to, his mind is too broken and detached from what it once was. That's why all the ToTheArk videos look like that.

If you were to put a spirit box in the room with him all you would hear coming out of it is his death screams on loop.

Jay (Mortal):

He's just a guy lol, poor bastard doesn't stand a chance.

Why yes, he has read Twilight. Why do you ask?

[ladymarvel27]

Dog or Corpse? | Carlando | (II)

werewolf!Carlos x reader / vampire!Lando x reader

Part 1

f1 masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of little blood, knives, cuts, fangs. Werewolf transformation?

"You're speaking metaphors, right?" She finally spoke, after a long silence. Carlos softly places his hand on his chest and sighs in relief. He sits down on the couch and takes a deep breath.

“So, are you going to tell me?” She asks.

“What?”

“Why do you hate my project partner?”

“Because he is a vampire. He is posing threat on you. And I have sworn to protect you from him. I am a werewolf and you're my mate. It’s my duty to protect you from him."

She rolls her eyes at him. “I think you have a disease, Carlos.”

“What disease?”

“Lycanthropy! Do you think you are some wolf? And-and we are mated? Gosh, Carlos! You need help!”

“Trust me, I am not lying! And that stupid friend of yours is a vampire!”

“I trust you but-” and she heard bones cracking. His clothes had started to rip and the way those bunch of hairs grew on his body; she had to look away.

A few moments later she heard a soft growling. Her skin had turned pale and her body started sweating, not the way he always made her do, but this time in fear. She slowly turned around. In his place stood a huge black wolf with the same big brown eyes she adores. He held out his paw in front of her. Her hand slowly reached for the jacket and her phone on the table. She immediately grabbed them and ran out of the apartment. Her action caught him off guard and his hand was left hanging there, waiting for her touch, his jaw hanging.

He had to follow her. It was dark outside and she must be in danger. He followed her smell and found her, lying in the middle of the forest, completely passed out, with a little scratch on her head. He must approach her in his human form, maybe she will accept him.

He slowly nudges her body. She blinks and opens her eyes. “What the hell are you, YOU MONSTER!” She immediately snaps at him. Tears blur his vision hearing these words and he takes a step back. “Hermosa please li-,”

“Stay away!” She snaps. He threw his hands in frustration.

“If I wanted to harm you, I already had done it, Mariposa!”

Her face softens as she realises.

“So do you trust me that i won't pose a threat on you?”

She tries to get up and sighs in frustration. “Yes, I trust you.”

“Let me take you home.” She nods and takes his hand to get up.

“I love you amor. I am- we are mated. And I pledge to protect you from any kind of harm.”

“Carlos,” she breathes out softly, “So are you like my guardian angel?”

“No mi amor, I am your boyfriend, your lover,” his face lit up with a smile, his cheeks blushing madly“, And I-I desire to spend the rest of my life with you, Hermosa.”

“And Lando?”

“He is a bloodsucking monster, who wants your blood. He isn’t mortal like us.”

Her eyes widened, “So he will never die?”

“He can die if we stack his heart with a silver dagger.” A dagger goes through a man’s heart even if he did nothing wrong? “NO!” She blurted out loudly.

“What?” He knitted his eyebrows in confusion with her sudden response.

“It’s wrong to kill him. We don’t have any reasons. And how you’re so sure he is a vampire?” She inquired. He shifts and takes a deep breath. “Do you want a real proof?” She nods.

Lando cheerfully greeted her as soon as she opened the door. She gracefully greeted him back and led him to their study place. He looked around, probably checking if that scary boyfriend of hers was here today.

She side-eyes his face as he settles down on one of the chairs. His skin looks paler than what is natural, Carlos had told her, like life had been drained out of him. Lando’s face looks greyish, not the natural skin colour. Seems like all his blood drained from his face. He might look like he is scared, but he isn’t, his tone conveys it. It’s just his natural colour.

After a while, she brought up snacks for them. “Whoa! These are so big,” he commented on the sandwiches. She had made them bigger intentionally. When he opens his mouth wide open to take a bite, she notices his canines. They might not look noticeably like fangs, he might have them filled up so they aren’t easily detectable, but they will be very sharp, like mine. He had told her that Vampires have longer canines which are fangs to suck the blood. Carlos did have sharp canines like a wolf, but not long like a vampire has.

“Oops! I only have one cupcake left,” she spoke looking into the contents of her refrigerator.

“It’s okay,” he smacks his hands in the air.

“No, we can share,” she brings the cupcake in a plate with a knife and place the plate on the table. “I will cut it in two halves, then we both can get it. How’s that?”

“Fine for me,” he shrugs.

She slowly brings the knife but accidentally cuts her finger as she shrieks lightly. “Oh gosh!” A small stream of blood spurs out from the tip of her finger, in the usual bright red colour.

“Are you fine?” He asks, his voice laced with concern but he has his face turned away. Finally, if he gets startled by the bleeding of natural blood and reacts unnaturally, he is for sure a vampire, Carlos' voice kept echoing in her mind.

“Hey! Look at me!” She shouts at him but he keeps looking at the floor. She lifts his chin with all her force and shouts, “LOOK AT ME!” He finally lifts his chin and growls at her, his eyes have turned darker, almost pitch black like he had been possessed, and his canines had elongated into fangs.

Taglist: @faithshouseofchaos @vivwritesfics

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! I have a question about a character I've made who has schizophrenia.

I think the more accurate name would be schizoaffective disorder, as from my research into the disorder itself, he has a mixture of symptoms, most notably: visual (and occasionally auditory) hallucinations, general paranoia, unpredictable mood swings, social isolation, etc. He has a few other disorders, but I have them myself and don't struggle with them, but if it's worth mentioning, it's PTSD and narcissistic personality disorder.

Anyhoo, my character goes through phases of animalistic behavior, similar to a werewolf, just without the physical change, he just can't recognize the people around him, or thinks they are someone else worthy of attacking. Phases are triggered by extreme anger or the moon cycle, and he often has instances of maiming people or even cannibalizing them. This has NOTHING to do with his disorder, and I don't want people to misread him as evil because of his schizophrenia. How should I go about separating the two to prevent such assumptions? Should I just give a different character the animalistic mindset?

Hi! I have schizoaffective and have often used the metaphor of lycanthropy in my own work. Here is why I am hesistant of usage of lycanthropy outside of people with lived experiences: lycanthropy and similar disorders focus on animalistic and violence. While there are people who are violent during psychosis (wow, I'm one of them!) I would strongly advise not to write that experience unless you have directly lived it, as it falls into one of the largest stereotypes against schizophrenia which is that we are violent people who can't help but hurt others, either out of doing "what the voices want" or because we don't understand better of what we are doing. Psychosis is a disorder where people are significantly more likely to be victims of crime or hurt themself than others. A character that goes through phases of not being able to recognize others and acting in violence seems to me to not only be a dangerous characterization to give the schizoaffective character, I would ask you to be cautious of the condition reading as a metaphor for psychosis by keeping that character and the psychotic character separate but in the same piece so it's clear this is not what psychosis looks like in this world.

-mod bert

[ragnarokhound]

Hi wife! Thinking about you. Should we buy a hot tub? Or a sauna? Or both?

Also thinking about the werewolf fic. I would be delighted if there was full werewolf smut in the werewolf fic👀👀 When will my wife (you) return from the war (writing the werewolf fic)?

Also thinking about the hilarity of tim hearing jason talk about his “time of the month” and ofc assuming it’s about Jason being trans when jason is talking about wolfing out. Picture:

Tim: “-and I brought chocolate-“

Jason: “Are you trying to kill me? canines can’t have chocolate!”

after some confusion they clarify things (jason is trans, not a big deal, he’s a werewolf, also not a big deal). Then (important for plot and character development) they have dirty dirty werewolf sex :)

Hehehe hello darling, you are always near my thoughts <3 And ohhh I could use a dip in a hot tub, especially now that winter has come to my climes >.< Though I fear a sauna would never see its use with me, haha

I am ALSO thinking about werewolf fic. Nigh constantly these days. I am deep in the trenches. I am furiously pondering how to reconcile the idea I had sketched most of the bones of almost an entire year ago with what I think and like now. It's been a bit of a battle. One I am fighting... tooth and claw you might say ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ (badum tsh)

Alas, while I don't want to give too much away, I feel I must warn you that the kind of werewolf Jason is in werewolf fic is more in line with 'that's just a wild animal' and less 'monsterfucker furry.' So while we'll see some very animalistic behaviors from Jason (what with the scenting and the licking and the biting and the growling etc) and some occasional signs that he's on the verge of wolfing out, there is no actual wolfed out smut lmao OTL. Please enjoy a small sneak peek of what I kind of sort of mean at the bottom of this post <3

For actual werewolf smut you'll want to look forward to the timestamp/smutty sequel I fully intend to write for my vamp!Tim and werewolf!Jay fic, in which he is absolutely the monsterfucker furry kind of werewolf and Tim takes gleeful advantage of that fact lololol (but werewolf fic comes first...! It Is Time. I Will Not Be Distracted.)

And omg yes. I do very much love the trans 🤝 werewolf overlap and metaphors, it's one of my favorite things fr fr (you got me thinking about trans lesbians jaytim now--)

I LOVE assuming there's a mundane explanation for a supernatural secret, that's my JAM (Do know that our early correspondences live rent free in my WIP document and that I would eventually also like to write the goofy sitcom-esque romcom in which Jason isn't quite hiding his lycanthropy from Tim - but Tim's not really clocking it either lmfao)

--and it must be said that dirty dirty werewolf sex will always be VITAL to both plot and character development <33 (it certainly is to werewolf fic, even if the werewolf part of that sex is mostly in the vibes lolol)

Anyway, here's wonderwall a sneak peek leading up to some of the smut in werewolf fic:

Jason snaps his teeth sharply, inches from Tim’s throat. It's not an empty gesture, and Tim wildly thinks through his options, squeezing tight with his knees around Jason’s thick waist so he can’t buck Tim off immediately. Jason is too strong and Tim is too light; he can’t stay here forever. Jason writhes underneath him, looking for leverage. With his shoulders trapped under Tim’s staff, Jason plants his feet and surges his hips in a powerful, cresting motion. Tim sinks back on his haunches to keep him down, then forward again when he threatens to break free. In Jason’s struggle, he rocks up just as Tim rocks down— and they inadvertently grind together. Tim's stomach curls and tangles in an electric jolt of heat at the glancing friction. He realizes with a spike of hot, mortified shame that he's— Tim is hard under his uniform. He sucks in a short gasp, trying to hide it, and Jason— —whines.

[saintsenara]

For sure and fair play, HP was a long project! But yeah, JKR fiercely defending her inconsistencies almost forces us to fiercely point them. Out of spite. I do get that many issues were out of Harry’s radar and understanding, but JKR trying to convince the audience through interviews that the wizarding world doesn’t have the same prejudices as the muggle world just makes me conclude that she must be herself incredibly unaware of the privileges herself and people in her circle possess. Plus the whole HIV parallel that just sounds so misguided and sours the text to me. Yet here I am! Love your blog xx

the lycanthropy-as-aids metaphor is extraordinary in how tone-deaf it is and it pisses me off...

especially because it doesn't make sense at any point in the story. the complete transformation of how house elves think of their enslavement between chamber of secrets [in which dobby mentions whisper-networks of politically-engaged elves decrying their treatment at the hands of wizards] and goblet of fire is really fucking irritating, but it has some slight defence in the narrative shift that the series undergoes after prisoner of azkaban from children's boarding-school literature to something approaching folkloric epic.

[that is, chamber of secrets needs to wrap up with dobby being freed, the malfoys getting their - comparatively benign - comeuppance, and everything being well, because children's stories always end with that everything back to normal vibe, and so the fact that harry has just learned that the wizarding world has institutionalised chattel slavery and been remarkably unbothered by that fact can be shelved by the genre conventions. after prisoner of azkaban, the books end more ambiguously and are more interlinked, as they start moving towards their big conclusion in deathly hallows, and are also darker in tone. and yet she decided to use this shift in tone... to make elves love being enslaved...]

which is to say, perhaps the lycanthropy-as-aids metaphor could be justified as a standalone plot device within prisoner of azkaban - since the reader does hear lupin explain not only the shame and stigma wizarding society's poor understanding of his condition causes, but also how the state's callous discrimination against werewolves impacts his ability to access healthcare, education, and employment - which then doesn't work after the series' narrative shift, when jkr wanted to introduce characters like fenrir greyback...

except it doesn't work even then! because at the end of prisoner of azkaban lupin turns into a rampaging monster who has a desperate, primal urge to eat children - and reveals his condition to be legitimately dangerous to an extent which entirely justifies why parents would feel uneasy about him being employed in a school.

[and - especially - being employed without dumbledore appearing to put any safeguards in place to keep both lupin and his students safe.]

one part of the tragedy of the aids crisis is baseless social stigma at an individual level, absolutely, and lupin - who is a nice [ish] man who doesn't meet the stereotypes wizards appear to have of untransformed werewolves - suffers from this.

but another is the way this stigma drove a state-sanctioned looking-the-other-way and refusing to act while the bodies piled up - something there is no parallel for in the series' worldbuilding around werewolves, not least because it tends to have a positive view of states and their institutions [state corruption is always located in individuals - fudge, umbridge - rather than in the structures which enable them, which are seen as fundamentally sound, for example] which i would imagine most people who know even a cursory amount about the official response to the aids crisis are unlikely to share...

and another is that - since hiv has a very, very long asymptomatic period - it was spreading without anyone knowing it existed for years, if not decades, before it burst into the public consciousness with death on wholesale scale. and then it continued to spread in terror and confusion - for years, you couldn't know if you had it until you started getting sick, and then, when you could access tests [if you could access tests], you were told it was a death sentence, and you would be unable to pinpoint when and by whom you'd been infected, and you would be unable to know how many people you might have infected in turn.

nothing about the series' presentation of lycanthropy corresponds to this.

but, with this said, i think there are two parallels between the conditions which could be interesting in the hands of someone who approached them with care.

the first is to see lupin's role as the series' one "good werewolf" as a mirror to the fact that public opinion became considerably more sympathetic to those living with and dying of hiv/aids when it began to emerge that people [white! "respectable"! heterosexual!] had been infected via blood transfusions and treatments for haemophilia. queer men and intravenous drug users could be dismissed as having brought their infections upon themselves... but not someone [white! "respectable"! heterosexual!] who went into hospital for a routine operation and came out slowly dying.

lupin - the son of a prominent civil servant [with all the class status that entails], bitten as a child through no fault of his own, hogwarts educated, connected to establishment figures like dumbledore - makes a great poster child for a milquetoast "werewolves aren't all bad" campaign which manages not to offend the state's sensibilities by asking it to stop demonising pretty much every other werewolf in history...

the second is to think about the generational divide.

in countries where access to appropriate medication is widespread [and that there are many countries where this isn't the case shouldn't be forgotten], hiv is easily treatable, easily manageable, easily rendered untransmissable, and easily preventable. the quality of life - and the life expectancy - of hiv positive people is now broadly equal to that of their hiv negative peers. the number of aids-related deaths worldwide annually has more than halved since 2010 and, in 2024, it is possible to say that virtually nobody who is newly diagnosed with hiv will go on to develop aids.

this is - sincerely - one of the single greatest achievements in the history of medicine. and it's completely changed how we think and talk about hiv, what it means to be diagnosed with it, what it means to live with it, and what it means to know [and to love, and to fuck] someone who has it.

if we imagine that there are similar advances in the treatment of lycanthropy - with the wolfsbane potion, which seems pretty bare-bones, replaced with something which made the impact of the werewolf's transformation even less severe [or which prevented it altogether] - then being a werewolf in the 2020s would mean something very different than it did in the 1980s.

and if - say - lupin is right, and teddy inherits his condition, thinking about how enormously different his experience being a werewolf might be from his father's [even at a very basic level - not having to turn down invitations based on the moon cycle, for example], and how he would come to understand himself and understand lupin through this different experience, would be a genuinely fascinating premise for a fic.

but not if jkr was writing it.

[loving-family-poll]

Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 3

Propaganda under the cut:

Ginger/Brigitte:

Codependent sisters and werewolves and angst <3

ginger giving into her desire for eating flesh making her horny…. lycanthropy used as a metaphor for gender nonconformity but also… another type of nonconformity…. “we were always considered freaks. there was us, and there was them.” “but you can’t break up with blood. you can’t divorce your sister.” “ginger shoves brigitte backward onto her bed. ginger piles on top of her, playfully pinning her down. GINGER: ‘i want more.’ brigitte squirms fitfully. BRIGITTE: ‘no, it’s too gross! you’ll get caught.’ GINGER: ‘not if you help, bee. i’m starving. tell me you don’t so dig it. tell me you don’t wanna see what happens.’” “SAM: ‘it’s called monkshood [wolfsbane] because people used to think it kept them pure from dirty thoughts. seriously.’ BRIGITTE: ‘make my life easier.’” “brigitte stirs in her sleep. ginger stands at the end of brigitte’s bed, staring at her.” i could just copy/paste the entire original script (such as brigitte masturbating to the sound of ginger having sex). and then it ends in one murdering the other and hugging her dead body. what more can you ask for.

"Out by sixteen or dead on the scene, but together forever."

"I'd rather die than be here without you"

"If I wasn't here would you eat her?" "God, that would be like, fucking her" *later wants to eat Brigitte*

"You know, we're almost not even related anymore."

Cersei/Jaime:

they're literally womb-to-tomb lovers. they feel that the rest of the world is beneath them and they're the only ones that matter. the fact that they're twins is fundamental to their attraction to each other

they’re blonde they’re evil they crossdress they’re fucked-up mirrors of one another they serve cunt they’re both bisexual probably and they’re TWINS who FUCK. who said that.

"if I were a woman, I'd be Cersei."

"I'll kill [...] the whole bloody lot of them until you and I are the only people left in this world."

"I am sick of being careful. The Targaryens wed brother to sister, why shouldn't we do the same? Marry me, Cersei. Stand up before the realm and say it's me you want."

"'Do you have a little wife, ser?'" No, I have a sister."

[floof-ghostie]

i honestly think h***y p****r has completely ruined people's ideas of worldbuilding and magic systems for the worse. There are people saying 'death of the author!!!11' but that literally doesn't apply to this franchise. Not only that but jesus the way the author said "all of magical society was created to await the arrival of the chosen one, picked between two cisallohet, abled, white, culturally christian upper middle class boys. No one else is allowed to be the chosen one. The chosen one is a cis boy who goes into girls toilets and is rewarded for it haha isn't he quirky and totally not creepy, it's fine since it's to advance the plot; he had to go into the girls toilets! Trans girls aren't allowed there though, but cis male leads are. Ordinary nonmagical society sucks and we only use magic for ourselves, we don't help anyone with bigotry and are pretty racist ourselves. There is also antisemitic caricatures in this world but i'm a woman so it's ok. I'm making sports teams into dorm rooms with your MBTI personality type btw" and we all fell for it?!?! Us, who live in ordinary society, fell for this?? insane. thank god people are moving away from it.

Not to mention the fact that said author uses woc (the Patil twins, and Cho) as placeholders for our cishet yt boy protagonist before he realises he's in love with the white cool girl, using lycanthropy as an HIV metaphor (seriously, what the hell?), AND making the nosy journalist who spies on children a transphobic caricature.

It's so interesting how Rowling preaches female empowerment when she only really cares about which girls make their love interests look good.

I also think that this whole "death of author" thing doesn't apply to Rowling, because not only is she alive and well, but she is quite literally giving money to terfs and transphobes. She is out here bullying trans people online who never did anything to hurt her. How can you even think about separating the art from the artist, when the artist is doing shit like this?

[spiribia]

my OLD werewolf lore from my mid teens that I frankensteined together out of so many disparate pieces of my other stories that I eventually gave up on it because I realized I had made an untenable monster

- near the beginning of time, Life (represented by the elk) and Death (represented by the raven) warred with one another over a neutral territory between their domains. to settle with a bet, they created a third, neutral entity between them called Nocturne (represented by the wolf) to guard this unclaimed domain. should Nocturne choose willingly to be a living entity in the world, the territory would be ceded to Life - should Nocturne choose instead to die, the territory would belong to Death. Nocturne scandalized both primal forces by choosing neither, yet yearning for the experiences of both. forever occupying the narrow corridor between Life and Death, Nocturne reached to live vicariously through the living, viewing the world through the eyes of countless human hosts. this pact was the origin of lycanthropy. therefore, werewolves are shunned by both Life and Death, perpetual outcast to all things.

- people are born werewolves when their parents are werewolves. because they are fragments of Nocturne borrowing time on earth, werewolves reach a point in their human midlife where they feel a primal instinct calling them home. they journey to a rift in the world, open a gateway, and disappear back to the neutral realm between life and death, entirely vanishing, and leaving behind any children they may have had at the time, usually to be raised by other late-staying werewolves, or by human allies in the loop.

- werewolves are considered a sort of bogeyman by society. I was using it as a closeted gay metaphor, but by the end of 'development' I was really second guessing whether it was suitable as one because of the muddled messaging my 'toss everything into the soup pot' worldbuilding style was creating.

- an environmental apocalypse occurs when a protagonist is a child, ravaging north america in floodwater. an isolated city is the only known major settlement. the protag transforms into a wolf for the first time in the water, almost drowning to the current. she had no prior introduction to what she was.

- the city blames the werewolves for the apocalypse, considering the apocalypse divine punishment. meanwhile, werewolves are forcibly being taken into custody to be exposed to treatments to be 'cured'. many of them die in this process.

- the protagonist discovers that the president of the city is not actually trying to cure werewolves, but knows of their ability to vanish into the rift. The president believes that this dimension that the werewolves vanish to is the only piece of the old world that remains, as it must have been untouched by the apocalypse. Wanting the old world back, the president is conducting distressing experiments on werewolves to try to force them to open the portal so enormously that the realms will converge. The protagonist discovers a vast machine in the heart of the city, fueled by Nocturne's energy, that was constructed to try to bring about this rejoining.

- the protagonist realizes that the rift has opened by the president's activities. As it stands, all werewolves in the massive radius will be returned before they are ready to be. Humans that are not werewolves will simply be incinerated by the portal.

- the protagonist walks the Nocturne energy trapped in the machine all the way through the forest to the rift. The rift is like drowning under the sea. here, having a near-death experience from the stress of the ordeal, the protagonist would speak to the raven avatar of Death and discover that the known conception was wrong. werewolves were actually beloved in origin, of the two oldest gods' affection for each other and for the intentional child they made together. Nocturne was made by weaving the elk and the raven together, creating a dark gray, densely feathered quadruped that over time iterated further into its own being. wolves are guided by ravens and sustained by the bodies of elk. they lead life to death and vice versa, bridging their domains. they were always on purpose designed to be a part of earth.

- the massive wound threatening to swallow North America closes

[post-punk-revival]

you lifted up my rock and now I have to make a pinned post

About:

This isn't an alterhuman/otherkin blog. It definitely used to be but this has been a personal main (that happens to be run by a nonhuman plural system) for a while now, so alterhumanity is on the list of things we post about frequently just because it's part of our lives. We probably post more about music and antipsychiatry and the biologist from Jeff Vandermeer's Annihilation (due to being normal), I'm a "we" and we're not human but I'm not here to "participate" "in" "community."

I don't think of myself by any particular name or even really as having one, so anything I call myself or list anywhere are just provided options. Myriad (plural) and Ekho (singular) are safe bets. I go by a few different names and change/add too often to carve anything into stone. You can also call me whatever your heart desires and if I like it I'll keep it

Switching mid-sentence between "me" and "us" for self-referral all the time is normal

This is not an NSFW blog and I am not a big NSFW poster so it's not 18+ only here HOWEVER I myself am farther and farther from 21 with each passing moment and once in a blue moon I may post things under 18+ community labels. If you're a minor it is YOUR responsibility to make sure you gave Tumblr your actual age so you don't see those posts, NOT ours to sift through hundreds of followers checking bios and blocking every one where we can't find a number higher than 18

I'm pretentious in all trades and a college graduate in none. I have trite opinions on erudite subjects. If I start having erudite opinions on trite subjects, take me out back and put me down, I'm sick.

I post bugs. We post bug photos and up-close bug photos. We don't tag them "tw bugs". We definitely don't tag them "horror." No matter what species you think should be the exception. Not even spiders. Especially not centipedes. I am literally a bug and this is a neutral and maybe even cool good thing. I will block you if you call me, photos of my species, or posts about my identity "graphic" or "body horror" and I'm not joking.

FAQ: "What is fictionflickering" See here. "I have something mean to say to you" Yay 💖 "I have something nice to say to you" Setting my self on fire ok "I have something nice to say about your art/writing" That's even more me than I am, haven't I suffered enough "I've decided you're not actually (x) for (y) reason" Duly noted, fragmentizing you

I change drastically a lot. It's normal for us. Don't worry about it. I try not to!

Literally physically not a human. Red-tailed hawk, house centipede, phantasmagorical raven, disordered raccoon, montane wolverine, possibly other things, biological creature that used to not be. Physiologically: not quite anything on its own, actually. Psychologically: a lot of things. Perpetually: figuring things out. If you want to know, you can ask. For followers not familiar with alterhumanity: "clinical lycanthropy" is an acceptable starting point.

Favorite hobbies include becoming the very thing I sought to destroy, destroying the very thing I sought to become, romanticizing the tormentuous, metaphorizing the objective, and iNaturalist :>

Audiophagic arthropod, nyctophonic carnivore, birdthing, feathered quadruped, flesh-cento, frequently fictional, former ghost, satellite that came back wrong, capable of passing the Turing test on a good day, enjoys becoming concepts, alleged "complicator," undiscovered deep sea invertebrate falling in love with the sky. Constant process of esotericizing.

פֿון טײַך ביזן ים װעט פּאַלעסטינע פֿרײַ זײַן

Current blog title: quote by Alan Watts

Current banner is "The Most Unwanted Painting" by Komar and Melamid, part of a satirical series of paintings and songs based on poll results of what people liked and didn't like to see in their art; most people polled disapproved of abstract or modern art.

Current PFP is us/our 'sona by defrostedvertebrae

We've also been: swiftfoxn (Nov 2020–Nov 2021) → novachaim (Nov 2021–Feb 2022) → technodance (for like a week) → chrysochus (Feb 2022–Aug 2022) → hraefngeyst (Aug 2022–Feb 2023) → a8c3bc (Feb 2023–May 2023) → stillflight (May 2023–Jun 2024) → myriadeyed (Jan 2024–Oct 2024 <3) → fallingsatellive (Oct 2024–Dec 2024) → radiocmyk (Dec 2024–Jan 2024) → post-punk-revival → ???

"LOVE THIS PLACE OR IT WILL KEEP YOU"

[i-am-church-the-cat]

Oh there’s a comment on my werewolf!Alex/vampire!George post

Oh that’s nice, I’m glad other people can see it and it’s not just me being weird. Actually, I-

Wait a second.

What’s this?

Oh @twinkodium. Oh poor unsuspecting soul that has somehow stumbled upon my blog. If only you knew the avalanche you have unknowingly brought upon yourself.

For you, twinkodium, and those of you who have only started following my blog recently, hello. I’m Church, a genderfluid autistic person, whose special interest is wolves with a specific emphasis on werewolves in media. And today I’m here to tell you why Alex Albon could totally theoretically be a werewolf.

DISCLAIMER: I know a lot about wolves and werewolves so my knowledge of Alex Albon is minuscule in comparison. I am more than happy to accept criticisms on the "Could Alex Albon be a werewolf?" debate. However, if you wish to disagree with my knowledge of lycanthropy, you will have to fight me with your own bare hands in the Florida Everglades. Hugs and kisses <3

That being said, let's get into it.

First of all, anyone can be a werewolf. That’s kind of the whole thing. You never know who around you could have a different side, a side they can’t control and might be totally different from the side they show you. But, that’s not what this is about, so let’s get into the actual details, shall we?

1. Lycanthropy has often and continuously been used as a metaphor for transformation.

The reason why I and many other transgender or gender non-conforming people relate to the story of becoming a werewolf, is because there is a fundamental motif of change. Your body changes, your mind changes, even how people perceive you changes. And from this change comes an increased level of awareness of yourself and your place in the world.

For example, it is a common trope in werewolf media that being turned into a werewolf heightens your “natural instincts” and the personality traits that you already showed as a human. A lot of feelings or ideas that were not as prominent in your human form suddenly takes a new presentation that is unavoidable and must be acknowledged (similar to how a lot of the times when people transition, they act in different or more pronounced ways because they now “feel more like themselves”).

Now, how does this apply to our dear friend and case study, Alex Albon? Well, I present you with two occasions in Alex’s public life where a large transformation took place:

A) his transition from F2/Toro Rosso to F1/Red Bull. Alex was a standout driver in Formula 2 and in his rookie season, this is of course why he got promoted. However, the shift from a high-performing car (when he started in Red Bull) suddenly brought to light a lot of small intricacies in Alex’s driving, some good and some bad (much like how transforming from one species to a more powerful one brings out a lot of traits that you could hide/did not seem as large before).

B) The second transformation is Alex’s change from Red Bull to Williams. The thing about lycanthropy is that even in “human” form, you still retain a lot of lupine traits. And taking that as a metaphor for Alex’s driving, you can see how Alex’s progression in Red Bull and his adaptation to high performing cars makes him out-drive the current Williams car.

HOWEVER. I don’t actually think Alex’s driving career has as much to do with why he’d be a werewolf as the simple fact that: Alex himself loves the act of transformation. All F1 drivers have some level of appreciation for change to do what they do, but not only does Alex transform himself to specific situations, he also just transforms himself for fun (re: dying his hair on a monthly basis).

Okay now on to criteria number 2:

2. Wolves are intrinsically shaped within a pack structure and need constant connection with their species to prosper. In that same vein, there is often a lone wolf vibe to werewolves in media because they are expelled from both natural human and wolf societies as a stage between the two.

Not only does Alex Albon have a big ass family (I say big but it is of course relative, but wolves do live in family structures made up of 5-9 members) but he has an entire zoo of animals (I am actually not even sure how many but at least in the double digits). This man screams pack structure. And this is not only shown in his actual family life, but also in his interactions with his teammates and friends on the grid. Alex Albon is a social animal and that's what wolves are.

Now, for the "lone wolf" aspect, of course Alex is in a very self-centered sport. But, drawing from my own experiences, being of mixed race can also feel very lonely. You're not 100% one or the other because there are always going to be aspects of yourself that depend on the fact that you're both. Alex Albon is both British and Thai and has said himself that it can be difficult (for example: "when I'm doing well I'm British and when I'm doing poorly I'm not British").

A large part of the overarching lycanthropic story is trying to find connection when you've constantly been isolated. For Alex, I see this most in the change from Red Bull to Williams. Red Bull is a lone wolf structure and Williams is a pack structure and we all know which one Alex has thrived more in.

Moving on to criteria number 3:

3. Werewolves in media have their senses dialed up to 11 and they often emote more and act in certain ways that feel more instinctual.

I don't feel like I have to say much about this. Alex Albon is the king of emoting. It's impossible for him to hide his emotions, when he's annoyed he looks annoyed, when he's happy he looks happy. And often this shows itself in strong ways (the iconic meme of him yelling "George").

HOWEVER! (I've been saying however a lot but still, however) a big big big thing in the overarching werewolf story is control. You have to have control to be palatable, to not outcast yourself or give yourself away. That's why I think even though Alex doesn't blow up like Yuki, or have his emotions literally bursting out of his body like Daniel, he's still a really good representation of how lycanthropy can (hypothetically) make you present your emotions in a very large way.

Bonus Criteria: Looks

I have focused on personality and storyline for the most part of this post and for a reason. However it must be said:

Does this man not look like a werewolf?? I mean, honestly, idk what y'all think a werewolf looks like, but this is it. The wider, flatter nose, the shaggy hair, the eyebrows. Even his chin man, idk how to describe it.

Anyway, this is where I rest my case. If this gets any attention, I might attempt to do a post on why I think vampire!George is totally realistic, but I am much more a werewolf enthusiast than a vampire enthusiast so we'll see. If you got to the end, congratulations, you deserve a cookie.

Werewolf!Alex Albon forever.

[organicclownfarm]

Funny how just bc Rowling is a bad person everyone just says harry potter is shit lmao, if she wasnt problematic everyone would still think hp is great and im saying this not even being a fan of that series

honestly i straight up can't disagree with half of this. i think if joker rotflmao had never joined twitter or learned to shut the fuck up a lot of us would HAPPILY view it through rosy nostalgia goggles and the red flags would just look like flags. shit, some people still do REGARDLESS of terfany's unhinged hateful bullshit.

when her insane manifesto dropped, that knocked a lot of peoples rose colored glasses right off and had us looking back at the long list of questionable ass things she added to those books and the world they're set in; how badly she writes the maybe 5 people of color in the ENTIRE series including but not limited to giving a character who is meant to be chinese two korean last names, naming a black man "kingsley shacklebolt", making the two indian characters 2-dimensional props. the way she wrote about a slave race who is often graphically abused but are so stoked about their own slavery that one of the heroes talking about how she thinks they should have rights is played for laughs. the fucking antisemetic caricatures. lycanthropy as a metaphor for aids while there is a character who makes a point of attacking and infecting CHILDREN. the list goes on and on. i could be here all day.

and thing is? a lot of these issues were being spoken about and criticized well before she became an out and proud bigot. the bigotry was baked in on a near atomic level and showed in nearly every page. if it wasn't racism or antisemitism, it was classism, if it wasn't classism it was disdain for welsh irish and/or scottish people or even people from different parts of fucking england, if it wasn't that it was fatphobia, on and on and on.

but like. even if u were to somehow make all of that vanish, you would STILL be left with messy and often inconsistent worldbuilding, a lot of poorly done character development, absolutely no research and it shows, plot holes, occasional pacing issues, and straight-up plagiarism.

harry potter and the world around it was, if anything, a fun sandbox. it was an easy world to place yourself in and play with and imagine as something better than it was. a lot of us loved it not just for the nostalgia but the POTENTIAL so much of it had, because it did have a lot of potential that a better author might have been able to realize.

i myself think i might have still enjoyed the world to this day if jkr never opened her mouth! it's possible to enjoy or even love a thing and still be critical of it or even if u don't love it, you can discard the canon entirely and make ur own little world out of the scraps. but after a certain point u just gotta cut your fucking loses and take the L and say "yeah this wasn't ever good i was just 9 and needed the escapism".

like death to the author or whatever but not when the author is v much alive and proudly using her royalty checks to campaign to make life even harder for a marginalized group in her country.

and i am saying this as person who's special interest for YEARS was hp and the hp world, who bought and re-read the books as an adult just before jinkies ratlicker decided to. y'know.

[fantajoseph]

i saw ur tags on the poll, do u have some good werewolf songs ud be willing to pass along? asking for me

Ofc! Tbh I was hoping you'd ask!

Werewolf Gimmick by The Mountain Goats is probably already in your frame of reference but hey! It's a fun one so I'm saying it anyways.

The Wolves by JJ and the Pillars and Run by Coyote Kid aren't werewolf jams per se but they work pretty well to set the tone. Probably put Wolf Totem by The Hu here too. You might like Coyote Kid in general, this is right around the conclusion to a concept album about two brothers in a post apocalypse western, with both brothers fates being like. Well, let's just say tragic and that there's like. A lot up your alley about Coyote Kid's Skeleton Man. I might even say put off listening to this so you don't spoil Skeleton Man, but you know how concept albums are, the first listen doesn't tend to impart the plot anyways. Anyways I'm getting side tracked.

Loup Garou by Ed Harcourt is a deeper cut, I think, and I think it's exactly what you're looking for, lycanthropy as an embrace of the carnal and profane and the self as both these things.

Wolf like Me by TV on the Radio is also a fun one, I really like Lera Lynn's cover!

Who Are You, Really by Mikky Ekko is an outsiders perspective like the ones about running.

Imposter Syndrome by Sidney Gish scratches a similar itch, but that uses dog as the metaphor instead of wolf.

I feel like I'm forgetting some but these are the ones off the top of my head!

[lesbrarians]

Started putting all this in the tags but it got too long so eh here we go lol.

Counterpoint: the dogification of werewolves represents freedom from repression. When you're an anxious soul battling with your personal demons in your everyday life, transforming into a werewolf liberates you from all that -- it lets you be your most primal and most authentic self. It gets you closest to your True Nature. You're no longer plagued by the concerns of humans -- you're free to run wild.

Which side of you is the real monster? The one who exists weighed down by the burdens of human society? Who, in human form, must deal with the scorn of people judging them for being a werewolf? Or the one who is safe to indulge in their animalistic urges? Who, in werewolf form, can pass as a huge dog?

A dogified werewolf is a loved werewolf. There's something to be said for a story where the message is "you can be loved even when you think you're a hideous monster." or "You can be loved, you can be happy, if you can just free yourself from the shackles of humanity."

Idk. Werewolf lore is tremendously varied. It does werewolves a disservice to say that there's only one true interpretation of lycanthropy as a metaphor for transformative monstrosity.

Both have a place in fiction. I love an angry, feral, monstrous werewolf -- and I love a werewolf who's made peace with themselves and uses their transformation as an escape from the real horror: humanity.

I hate the dog-ification of werewolves >:( I by making them happy dumbos it misses the best part of transformative monstrosity: repression. If you aren't afraid of the beast within what's the fucking point. It's the big bad wolf lurking on moonlit nights it's not your golden retriever in the park at noon. Justice for repression!! Justice for the beast within!! Justice for the fear of who you could be if you really let loose! Is the monster your true self? Does the thrill of the wild outweigh the guilt that comes in the light of day, when there's mud on your feet and blood on your hands? What does it mean that you crave that which disgusts you, that the wolf isn't just something you become, it's something you always were

[our-inspire-verse]

Weird introject/pseudomemories vent below

Inthrum: Im kinda in like this. Paralysis. Sorta. Im just so, so sad and grief ridden. I am missing my last life, im missing who i was back then, and most of all I'm really missing the people i knew. The people. Dan, hes sorta here. And Cadance. A few others. But Alder. That "sorta" hurts a lot. It hurts way more than i ever EVER would have expected it to.

Is it my this life parental issues, the reminders of losing him last life, or the jarring emptiness that comes with a fragment headmate that is making me fall apart? Is this just the straw on my back? Am i just experiencing the normal weight of emotions one would experience facing this sort of thing? Or am i mentally ill? Delusional? Focused on the wrong things? Maladaptive daydreaming is in our history... particularly mine would make sense. Why couldnt sherl front earlier? Wouldnt he be better for up front?

Lol. I dont know. I feel like mentally i know the answer to all this. That its all okay. Like, that maybe Alder's going to eventually figure out his memories and feel okay and attached enough to be fully formed in this life. That we could have a real conversation outside of music, or signs, or memories. Or that weird amalgamation of energy levitating in mindspace that looks like him. Feels like half of him. Doesnt feel all the way alive. Maybe he isnt, maybe he hasn't been.

Why didn't he cure his lycanthropy? It's not his fault, i hold no resentment, and i understand in part. But it made his genetics hard to treat in the time we had. All the raging he'd done. All the work, and all the unknowing time. It passed. And so did he and i had to experience that regardless of anything before and afterwards. I had to live that.

And now, i was doing the math today. Alder said he was 33 when i came to him, and the first birthday i actually understood and celebrated with him was 35. He was 67 when he passed. Did i really only get like, 32 years with him? Only. We dont even onow what 32 feels like in this life yet. Flip the numbers. 23. Still 9 years to go. In 9 years ill be the age i was then, in that stupid hospital room with a view. Thata not exactly how he wanted to go, but better than a facility that gave us a .09% survival rate. I would have had him die up there in my distress, but he asked to be taken off high tech support so he could be on his own planet at the time it happened.

And i remember fighting about it. I didn't make it easy, and bless Alder he talked me down. A lot. And then he wasn't there to soothe me. He told me he was never sorry for dying, he didn't want to leave me wondering later in life if i should be guilty for making him feel like that.

He said thank you for being strong, so we can find each other in the afterlife. Strong energies gravitate to one another, and he said he felt stronger than ever with me. That man really loved me, he did. He showed it and he proved it and he did. Again and again, and he still does. I miss him. And I've never seen his face.

But right now, every day for the past just about week, I've been overwhelmed with memories of this person. This guy. Random guy. Could have been anyone. I remember my first revealed memory that he was a person the christmas lights in the truck! And then the next memory i got, when he met me. When he saved me. And then he saved me. And then he saved me again. Again. Again. Again.

He showed me how to be after i didnt get that chance. When i was cast out by the beings who birthed me. Not family. Never was. Just the group of strangers who used me and cast me out. Abandoned on the side of the road. He gave me the chance. Grabbed my hand firmly and gave it to me. Pushed it into my chest.

He walked me step by step by step into the light and he showed me how to feel the grass under my shoes and breathe the air. All of it literally and metaphorically. He was there. Theres pieces of him here, but such is the way of finding paradise, then watching it go away to move on for the next life, one of pain and nightmare. You have to carry these memories into places no one will bring you lessons. I have to remember him to survive. And i dont know how to do that.

[czenzo]

On The Hunt – Chapter IV

[ao3] chapter links: [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ]

summary: After Simon gets bitten in an unfortunate run-in with a werewolf, he and Penny desperately search for a cure before the upcoming full moon can force him to undergo an excruciating transformation. Lycanthropy comes with many other side effects, however – and not only is Simon soon to experience them, but Baz will surely be dragged into the mess, too.

words: 2411 rating: M

notes: me? randomly updating a fic I abandoned for almost a year? it’s more likely than you think! ;D

DAYS UNTIL FULL MOON: 3

SIMON

“How are you dealing with the side effects?”

I don’t properly hear Penny’s whispered question at first. Well – I do, but I’m too busy thinking about how stupid Baz’s hair looked after I dragged him into the lake last night. All shiny and stuck to his forehead. Curled around his ears and clinging to his cheekbones. Slicked back and—

“Simon?”

“Huh?”

Penny waves a hand in front of my face. I go cross-eyed trying to follow it. “Side effects,” she says again. “How are they?”

“Er.” (If Baz were here, he’d say something like “How eloquent, Snow.”)

“You still haven’t been to a single class since the bite.” Her voice becomes a whisper as she says those last two words, and it makes me feel all wrong and disgusting. In the next few days I’m going to transform into a bloody monster – Merlin, I’m even at risk of doing that before the full moon, if I get too riled up – yet here I am, sitting in the library like a lemon as if nothing’s wrong. None of the other students around us know that pissing me off could result in their head getting bitten off. (Metaphorically. Kind of.)

I stand up without realising. I want to get out of here. It’s stuffy and too quiet and so suffocating and I’m digging my nails into my thighs and frantically searching for the closest exit when Penny gently places a hand on my forearm.

“Hey,” she says. Her voice is soft. Not a whisper, but soft in the way I’d imagine a mother would speak to a crying kid. It’s a bit strange to hear it coming from Penny’s mouth. She gently pulls me back down into my seat. “Talk to me, Simon.”

I’m not good at putting my thoughts into words. There’s too much going on in my head and trying to get it all out would probably give me an aneurysm, so I try to vocalise just a fraction of it all instead. Once I do, it’s like floodgates have burst open, and it all pours out in one hissed whisper. “I feel disgusting, Pen. All – I don’t know. Dirty? Knowing that adrenaline could make me just – poof. Wolf out. Just like that. It stresses me out. But then that stress isn’t good, because it’s a spike in adrenaline, and it’s a never-ending bloody cycle. I’m scared I’ll hurt someone. You. Baz.” I pause and make a face. “I don’t even know why he’s helping so much.”

“Your er… situation, with Baz,” Penny says, and it’s clear to even me that she’s carefully choosing her words here, “seems to be improving.”

“Improving?”

“You said it yourself. He’s trying to help you. You’re less preoccupied with uncovering his vampirism.”

“Because I’m busy trying not to accidentally wolf out and rip off his face instead.”

“Still.” Penny shakes her head, and I don’t miss the small smile on her lips. “You’re getting along a bit better.”

I think back to last night again. Baz in the lake. Wet. Playful. He actually laughed when he sprayed me with water. A proper belly laugh.

“Nah.” I drag a random book in front of me and pretend to study it.

Penny’s hand is still on my forearm. The library was warm and I’d pushed my sleeves up to my elbows, and now on the exposed skin she rubs her thumb back and forth. My shoulders relax. I hadn’t realised they were so tense.

“You’re not dirty, Simon. You won’t hurt anyone.” She looks at me with big eyes, and I remember how much I love her. I doubt I’d have survived this long without Penny. “We’ll find a way to sort this out, I promise.”

I smile at her. A proper smile. “Thanks, Pen.”

Once I’m feeling a little less stressed Penny goes back to reading, and I find a book with more diagrams than words, hoping I’ll have a better chance at genuinely understanding it. (Academics always use stupidly long words. The pretentious pricks are supposed to be educating us, not confusing us even more.) (And by ‘us’, I mean me.)

I smell Agatha before I see or hear her, which is a really weird sensation. She smells of that floral perfume she always wears, except it’s one thousand times more intense. It actually makes it a bit hard to breathe.

She approaches from behind me, so Penny spots her first. “Agatha. Hello.”

“Penelope,” she says, moving around so I can see her too. “Simon.”

I hesitate for a second. “Agatha.”

“I spoke to Professor Miti earlier. He happened to mention a possible lycanthropy cure.”

I’m too hung up on the word ‘cure’ to think of a reply. A cure? An actual, honest-to-Crowley cure? I hope Agatha isn’t pulling my leg, because that would definitely mess with my adrenaline levels, and then I’d have no idea what would happen next.

Luckily, Penny isn’t too lost in thought to say something. “Really? He just… dropped that bomb out of the blue?”

“Well,” Agatha says. She glances to the side, leans down a little. “It took a little prompting. It’s fascinating, the information you can glean with a short skirt and a twirl of hair. Quite frankly it would be disgusting, if it weren’t so useful right now. He mentioned in class how he used to closely study werewolves, wrote some papers on them – they’ll probably be in here somewhere – so I thought if anyone would know anything, he would. And he did.”

“Go on,” I finally say. “The cure. What is it?”

“It’s a mix of rather standard ingredients, except for one or two things. It’ll be hard to gather, but should still be doable.”

She slides a piece of folded paper towards us. Penny opens it and quickly skims through the list. “Okay. Watford stocks half of this for classes. Other bits and bobs could probably be found in the Wavering Woods – oh, and this should be by the lakeside. This one, however…” She smooths the paper against the table and stabs a finger at the last thing on the list. “That will be difficult to pull off.”

Blood of origin lycanthrope.

“Blood from the one who bit you,” Agatha says. I only just stop myself from scowling at her. I’m not that stupid, I could figure out what it meant on my own, thank you very much.

“How the fuck are we gonna do that?” I say. “Without dying, I mean.” (Or any of you getting bitten too, I also think, but I keep that part to myself.)

“Baz will be helpful with that.” I can’t tell if Penny says that because he’s a vampire, or (though I hate to admit it) just a really good magician. I don’t bother asking, and Penny doesn’t stop to clarify. “But let’s focus our attention on getting the rest of the list, first.”

Agatha gently clears her throat. I know her well enough to understand it, and wince at my mistake.

“Thank you, Agatha.” I genuinely mean it. “It would’ve taken us ages to find this ourselves.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Thanks,” Penny says. It’s quick and quiet, but I can tell she means it, too. “Are you going to help gather the ingredients?”

She’s silent for a moment, mulling over the pros and cons and the huge list of risks. “Alright.” I raise my eyebrows without meaning to. She frowns at me and continues, “but the second it becomes too dangerous, or any staff get a whiff of what’s happening, I’m out, and was never involved in the first place.”

“Why?” I say. She frowns at me again. “Why help?”

“If I can do something to decrease the risk of you maiming a student who looks at you the wrong way, then I will.”

Even though she’s helping, I instinctively want to say something awful. Penny speaks up before I can. “Simon. Here’s a copy of the list. Go and find Baz, see if he has any ideas on how to go about getting that last pesky ingredient. Agatha and I will start on the others.”

I practically jump out of my seat. Penny smirks. “You’ve been dying to get out of here all morning.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Go. Get some fresh air. You look a bit pale, anyway.”

She doesn’t have to tell me twice.

***

“‘Blood of origin lycanthrope’?” Baz reads aloud. He’s glaring at the list of ingredients like it’s personally offended him.

“Yeah,” I say, falling backwards to sprawl on my bed. Penny dragged me out of it at the crack of dawn today to get back to researching.

His face scrunches up as he reads the list again. “It doesn’t even say how much we need. A drop? An entire wolf’s worth? We have no proof this will actually work.”

“I have to believe it will. Can you help or not?”

“Most of this should be relatively easy to acquire. Wolfsbane is tricker, it’s only in the deepest parts of the Wavering Wood, and its toxicity is bad enough to see any of us off. It’s still doable, though. But the blood…”

“Penny seemed to think you’d know how to get it.” I prop myself up on my forearms to look at Baz. He’s at his desk, with a half-written essay and a ridiculous amount of books sitting by him.

He slowly looks up from the list and stares at me. “And what makes her say that?”

I hold his stare for a moment. “I think we both know why.”

“No. I’d like to hear you say it.”

I scoff. What is this, fucking Twilight? “Fine. I know bloody well you’re a vampire, Baz. You’re shit at hiding it, and I have bigger problems right now. Do you know how we can get that blood or not?”

He’s staring at me again. It’s not as intense as usual, it lacks – what was that word Penny once used? Animosity. That’s it. We keep eye contact for a weirdly long time and I start to wonder if he’s just zoned out when he finally blinks a few times, shakes his head, and straightens his spine. I didn’t even realise he’d been hunching.

“I’m confused,” he says eventually. “Why ask a creature known for consuming blood about how to collect and store it?”

Hearing him openly admit he drinks blood is strange. I mean – I already knew he did. But now he’s confirmed it. Said it out loud. To me, of all people. I wonder who else in his life knows.

“So you’ve never saved some for later?” I say. “You always just… chug it there and then?”

“I don’t—” he scoffs. “I don’t chug. And no, I don’t save it for later. It congeals quickly and I haven’t the correct environment to store it. I know you hate eating gravy with blobs in it – this is the same thing.”

I grimace. I hate gravy with blobs in it. (Why did he remember that?)

“So…”

Baz leans back in his chair. His legs are spread from where he’s made himself comfortable, and his thighs bulge against the seat. I drag my gaze back up and make myself look at his hair instead. It’s down and loose, and every time he moves too much I catch a whiff of it. I know it’s weird. I can’t help it.

“So,” he says, “unless one of us can whip up a mini fridge or a cooling spell that can last long-term, the blood will have to be the last thing we get. It’ll keep it as fresh as possible.”

“Wait.” I sit up straight. Something’s only just dawned on me. “Fuck. Will I have to drink all this?”

“What, did you think it was an ointment? An injection? Yes, Snow, most cures of this nature are for ingestion.”

“Blood. Fucking blood.”

“Get over yourself, it’s not that bad.”

“Easy for you to say!” I rub a hand across my face. “God. How are we actually going to get it, anyway? We have no idea who it is.”

“There’s three days until the full moon.”

“Thank you for that reminder, Baz.”

“Shut up,” he snarls, “you didn’t let me finish. There’s three days until the full moon, so whoever bit you will be getting tetchy and agitated like you are. We already know they’ve gotten riled up enough to transform before the full moon, so they’re probably prone to mood swings, sudden bouts of anger.”

“So?”

“So, if the werewolf becomes too irritated, they’ll be at risk of exposing their true nature.”

“Oh. Oh,” I say, leaning forward. “So if we make a list of people we think it could be, you can go and piss them all off and see if any act all wolfy on you, yeah?”

“Ye— wait. I can go and piss them all off? Why aren’t you helping me?”

“You do it best. Pissing people off.”

He hesitates for a second. “Do I?”

“So many people hate you, Baz. You’re smart, athletic, good-looking, and a bitch.”

“What was that third one?” He smirks. I want to slap it off his stupid face.

“Fuck off. I’m not saying it again. We’ll make a list of suspects, and you can go and investigate them all. I’ll help Pen and Agatha find the other stuff on the list.”

“Agatha’s helping?”

“Mhm.” I grab the nearest piece of paper (I think it’s the back of some homework, but it’s not like I was going to do it anyway) and start scribbling down some names. I’m winging it a bit – I’ve never had to identify potential werewolves before. The lad I sit next to in Magickal History has a shit ton of body hair, so I add him to the list. And then there’s the girl in Elocution who snarls all her words and seems permanently angry. That’s kind of wolf-y, right?

I pause and look up at Baz. “What if it isn’t someone from Watford? Someone we don’t know?”

“It’s more likely to be someone at Watford than someone who isn’t.”

I slide my list over to him. He frowns at it, adds a few more names, and sighs. “I have my work cut out for me.”

I’m uncomfortably aware of the fact I should be thanking him here. Instead I say, “It’ll come naturally. You’ll be done in no time.”

He half-heartedly scowls at me. “You owe me, Snow.”

Yeah. I really do.