#her work ethic and personality both suck.. pick a struggle

[pastmuse]

The girl I work with on wednesdays and saturdays pisses me off so bad lol .. I actually like my job but she makes me wanna go home -_-

[novankenn]

Unbreakable Machine Arcs (5)

Ozpin nodded a greeting to Doctor Peach as she exited the examination room, which she had spent that last two hours in with Jaune and Joan. She looked tired and perplexed… which Ozpin knew was not a good combination. It had been a struggle to get the pair of blonds to agree to the examinations, but the pair relented when Ozpin and in fact everyone in the room agreed to assist the pair in locating Nora.

Glynda did inform Ozpin that there was indeed an applicant with that name, so Ozpin was rather confident that the Nora the pair were searching for was one Nora Valkyrie. Though the nature and reason for the search was never given, but that didn’t matter as Ozpin had achieved the desired result of placating the pair, and getting them medical assistance.

“Doctor, how are our guests?”

“Abnormal.” Peach then dragged her hand down her face before sighing. “I don’t think they are human.”

“Excuse me?” Ozpin looked at Peach over the top of his glasses. “Did you say that you THINK they’re not human?”

“I did.”

“Care to explain?”

“I can’t, or I should say not in any concrete way. I can tell you they are healthy, and if I didn’t know they had been out in the wilds, I would have thought you picked them up during a walk in the park.”

“How is that possible?” Ozpin placed both his hands on top of his cane. “We can almost guarantee they must have been out there for at least a week, considering the state of their clothes.”

“It’s because they are dense. I mean, their bones, and muscles are insanely packed. They weight three times what someone their size should weigh… they are dense, and not naturally.”

“I see. So?”

“I’ve read about this, but I have never before seen one, but I think we have a pair of Machine Dolls,” Peach sucked on her bottom lip for a moment while looking about to make sure no one else was in ear shot. “And considering, they have working circulatory and respiratory systems…”

“Banned Dolls.”

“So you know.”

“I like you have read about the practice and existence of such… creations but have never seen one.”

“I find this very disturbing. I must tell you that, and you know why.”

“I do.”

“Which begs the question of what are we going to do?”

“We will help them locate Nora, and then we will ask some rather pointed questions.”

“Oz, don’t push this away. Someone, or more likely two individuals, died to create Jaune and Joan. This is serious.”

“I am very aware of that fact, though I doubt the Nora they are looking for is that person.” Ozpin pressed his lips together for a minute as he thought about the situation. “No, I am sure that there is someone else involved. Someone skilled in an art that should have died out, decades ago.”

“So what now? They are in perfect health, and I have no ethical reason to hold them.”

“Ethical?”

“They are alive, sentient, and self-aware. That gives them rights. Rights I can not without medical need interfere with.”

“I understand.” Ozpin stood quietly for a few minutes before continuing. “I will take charge of them.”

“And do what?”

“Give them a guided tour of the grounds… and maybe glean some information in the process.”

/==/

“Jaune they know.” Joan whispered to her twin from her position next to the partially open door. “They know what we are. What are we going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? But Nora. Father.”

“We are going to do nothing, unless we are forced to.” Jaune replied as he stood up from the examination table he was sitting on. “We will fight only if we need to.”

“I don’t like that they know.” Joan looked at her twin brother, a frown creasing her features. “Father told us to always be careful. To keep what we are hidden…”

“I don’t like it either, so stay alert. We’re here for Nora and Ren… nothing else.”

/== Table of Contents ==/

[youwontlikethisblog]

The Art of Subtlety in YSBTLF

Now I have yet to really talk about Betty and her development. Currently I'm on the episode where Betty goes to the bank to secure a loan through Terra Moda and it got me thinking.

Slowly we've been seeing the change from Armando's behavior towards her. Now it's been very subtle. One of my favorite scenes that display's the subtlety of his behavior is when Betty and him are being driven around by Don Hermes.

Right as they are leaving the building where they went to sign some documents to start the process of Terra Moda seizing Eco Moda Betty and Armando are talking.

She often jokes about her ugliness and as a person who in society has been outcaste by the mere fact I'm fat, I get that. We don't use it as a way to downplay our worth, better yet to find the humor in something that hurts us deeply. This is something Betty does often. Usually Armando agrees or goes along with it. The scene however caught my attention because after Betty jokes that she didn't get hired due to her ugliness she laughs and walks away and Armando stays behind and nods slightly, as if understanding that her ugliness could cause that BUT we then hear Don Hermes lovingly say "My beautiful daughter, did everything go well?" and Armando's face lights up. He sports a slight smile and stares at Betty as she laughs and tells her dad that everything went well.

The more I watch this show the more I realize that we see a lot of contrast between Betty and Armando's personal lives. While Betty's parents are very present in her life, constantly at the fore front of her ethics and morals as well as there to keep her grounded and realistic, though at times one can assume over baring and over protective, her parents love her deeply and you can tell. They treat her as their most precious possession.

However Armando's parents are a different story. His father always expects the worst of him, his mother coddles him but with conditions. His parents are only ever shown or involved when it comes to the company and/or his relationship with Marcela. Often when they do talk it's always about the company or again the relationship he's in with Marcela. It never goes more than that. We don't see them interact outside of that which causes that parental relationship to seem cold and distant. Kind of like a trophy child. Not really there to celebrate or show love when times are bad. Just there when things are on their terms. They show more interest in Daniel, Marcela, and Beatriz than they do to Armando and even then it's not saying much. In shorter terms, they suck.

So this scene in particular is one of my favorites for that reason. We see Armando, who at first was annoyed and being all pipirs nice to then engaging in conversation, joking, and letting his guard down and that's the thing. Often we see Armando with his guard up but around Betty slowly we begin to see him let his guard down.

Now in particular the reason why I bring this up is because from the get go I've always been interested in the complexities that Armando's character offers, but Betty is this different story. While Armando is complex in dark ways, Betty is complex is light ways. Her complexities aren't a form of harm rather a form of self preservation but still seeing the best in people, while Armando's complexities are in self preservation at the cost of others.

They both struggle in a sense with self worth. While Betty's self worth is rooted in her image and the way society treats her due to her not being societies beauty standers, Armando's self worth struggles are deeply rooted in his person's worth. Meaning that he doesn't find himself worthy as a human if he isn't succeeding, which makes him extremely arrogant. Betty's insecurities make her extremely humble and though being humble isn't a bad thing when there is no balance, her self worth is to the ground and due to this she allows people to step all over her and she often is a people pleaser because of this.

She lets people push her around and doesn't stand her ground when people are rude to her about her appearance. She does when it comes to her work but not as person and because of this she begins to idolize Armando because, unlike everyone before, he sees her as a person, when it comes to work.

This draws the lines, clean and crisp lines.

At work Armando defends her. He defends his decision to hire her. He defends her degrees and her experiences as an economist. This means a lot to her, because as mentioned before, she wasn't getting hired due to her "ugliness" and here comes a man that looks past that and hires her over the pretty one. We understand Betty's crush. We understand why she begins to idolize him even though he shows really crappy behavior at times.

First he constantly yells at her, laughs behind her back, allows his best friend to secretly see her as if she were this attraction in the tent of strange and ugly phenomena at the circus. To then being subtly annoyed when certain people mock her and make fun of her, though this gets him half points because he still allows his best friend to do this.

To end my analysis of Armando's behavior towards Betty up to this point I'll say that as this continues Armando begins to soften up towards her and while no one else picks up on it, Betty does. Which feeds her idolization of him.

Up to this point of the show Betty has been unconditional, even when she has needed to set aside her true feelings for him, she places his before her own. With Claudia, instead of ruining his night she stayed in the room all night long to which later we see Armando feel guilty over it but he gets no gold stars over that. That was a dick move.

Betty constantly shows loyalty, unconditionality, support, and most of all, team work. When he fails she always places herself to take the blame with him. She doesn't let him feel alone in his failures. Betty truly shows to love him. As a friend, as her boss, and as a girl who idolizes him and this moves him because to this point Armando hasn't had that. His parents do not show him unconditionality. His fiancé shows no team work or support and his best friend... he sucks. He is a terrible friend. Here is this girl who gives him all of this and for what? She doesn't ask for anything in return except to work for him. That's why we see the subtle change in him and Betty deserved that and more.

When they went to that cocktail with RagTela, where Armando started to hit on Ms. Colombia, I forgot her name, Betty doesn't seem jealous or hurt by that. In fact she seems unbothered and stayed in her lane, once again the lines being crisp and clean. However later on, when Betty tells Armando that they've got a meeting with Macro Textil and she sees Armando's face light up and ask how he looks, we see a subtle change, jealousy. She showed some of that with Claudia but Armando probably interpreted that as Betty being frustrated that due to that she had to sleep in the office that night. Here he doesn't pick up on it. She laughs dry only to cover her tracks and gets the man his cologne and throughout their meeting with Macro she shows to be a good wing-woman, minding her business of course.

Now let me skip some scenes. They're trying to negotiate a payment plan with Macro Textil. At this point what Armando has said isn't very convincing and Betty steps in, our bright Betty manages to say stuff that makes them think over their offer. At this point Armando has had all eyes on Ms. Colombia but he turns to watch her, with a slight smile on his face, a brief second of staring at her lips and completely absorbed into what Betty is saying and doing.

Now I want to bring us back to the main scene of this post. Betty sitting across her old boss. We have seen two scenes of her old boss and her interact before. Not only to drive the plot, but I believe to show the difference between a boss who was fond of Betty, after all he did say he was happy and pleased to help her with Terra Moda after being her boss for two years and a boss who is... more than fond of her but confused about it(to be fair Armando is so stupid when it comes to feelings the dude isn't even aware he's got them to begin with.) Betty's behavior is respectful and friendly towards her old boss. You can tell she's comfortable talking to him and so on and her old boss is the same. He's respectful and friendly towards her.

Why do I think this is important to the plot of the story?

It got me thinking. When I was working I got pretty close to my manager. He was married and older than me and we got along great. We talked, we joked, we had work discussions and we'd talk about life and stuff. However it was always very respectful and friendly, like a boss and their employee. My manager was very gentleman like. He didn't let me carry heavy stuff(As a fat woman I'm not used to that lol) however the line was there, Boundaries were there. Obviously we didn't have conversations that were too personal or even that personal at all. I could see Betty and her ex-boss being the same. A simple boss to employee friendship but if I had a... ship of sorts with my boss like Betty does with Armando my sensors of red flags would be blaring.

Think about your greatest friendship with one of your bosses. It's respectful and friendly but you don't cross lines, right?

Now I keep comparing their behavior to my manager's and mine.

That is why they show us, unlike with all the other Banks Betty has talked to, their interactions. To show a clear and distinct line of work related ships. Her ex-boss is truly fond of her but he doesn't cross boundaries and neither does Betty.

My ex-manager was respectful and we talked like an older brother and younger sister would. That was our work dynamic.

Betty's behavior has always been respectful and friendly towards Armando. Their work dynamic has been that she's the smart one and he's the pretty one and it works for them.

Betty's emotions start to blur when Armando's behavior towards her starts to blur. We go from seeing back to back scenes that show separate life styles and personal lives to having them blend in and once their personal lives begin to blend in so do their work lives.

During this day, before Betty goes to talk to her old boss, we are shown the scene when she tells him that Macro Textil was on their way to sign a contract with them that very day. Armando is between Betty and Mario and he talks to Betty. Constantly saying "Betty we did it!" and things along those lines but after each sentence he goes to Mario and repeats the same thing up until he goes to hug Betty.

[EDIT: This allows us to view Armando's personal dilema. Your brain often blurts the first thing that comes to mind and seeing as Armando isn't that bright when emotions are involved, he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind and that is Betty. His first thought is to talk to Betty, to celebrate with her (since she is the reason why that business deal is even happening) but he is prioritizing her, picking up on it and then going to his best friend to celebrate it as well. It shows us subtly the change in him.]

He doesn't even do that to his best friend. Once again, the lines blur. Armando is the first person in this work related relationship to blur the lines and Betty follows suit.

Yes, the hug was work related. Yes he was excited over the fact they could release the new fashion collection they'd been working on BUT he hadn't done that for other deals that they had managed. He didn't do that with the first collection he launched. He's hugged her, up to this point, two other times. Once after the meeting with Daniel where Betty gave him lessons on economics and later when Betty was crying.

This is their third hug. I'm not reading into that hug but what follows before and after.

As I said when writing we're told to keep what drives the plot, character development, and overall story; everything else is thrown out the window. So these subtle changes, behaviors, and quirks we begin to see coming from Betty's interactions with Armando explain why it was so easy for her to be manipulated by this man. They are important because they are meant to show us what is okay and what is not. What is normal and what is not and in small ways their work dynamic begins to shift and the first person to do that is Armando.

because he didn't feed the illusion of love when that sinister plan was created, he fed it when he started to get confused about her. When he started to blur the lines.

Betty didn't just idolatrized him because he defended her work. She did it because he fed her feelings towards him. When Betty showed loyalty he showed to be more fond of her. He went from constantly yelling at her, being indifferent towards her, to trying to watch his tone and temper. When Betty showed unconditionality he showed kindness. When Betty showed support he showed loyalty and little by little we begin to see these two blur the line between personal and work.

The changes are really subtle that they fly over your head but when you pay attention to the actual story and not the romance you can tell when they start and that is one reason why I love this novela because very much like real life these changes are subtle.

Betty's love was really subtle and you can pick up on when she starts to fall in love, whereas with Armando his change goes from being so subtle that you're confused yourself to it being so bam in your face you can't deny it.

In any aspect their relationship begins to blur during these episodes and the clear contrast of that is with seeing Betty interact with her old Boss at the bank.

In the future episodes this theory is proven right when we no longer get clear cuts of scenes that show the difference between their personal lives better yet we get a very muddy and blurry view of their personal and work lives.

Betty's moral, ethics, and emotions begin to change when Armando begins to change. Up to this point Betty has been consistent with her morality, though close to stumbling her father has been there to keep her on the right path. She has been the sweet and loving person she's always been but her character has been consistent up to this point and it's important to note that and why everything that happens after this is the way it is because as an audience we have been warn over and over again and so have these characters but just like in real life we don't always pay attention to the subtle changes until their domino effect starts to make too much impact.

also sorry if this doesn't make any sense it's currently 6:40 am and I've been writing this since like four lol.

[wireddless]

Codeine Scene (Five H. x Reader) [3]

Codeine Scene Masterlist

Authors Note: First off, I am SO sorry. New Years is always a slow time for me, and I did not mean to take this long to publish. Second of all, this chapter is a transition chapter into a much more fucked up story. I’m warning you now that the rest of this fic will get really really dark. I don’t recommend reading after this chapter if you can’t handle depictions of r*pe, murder, heavy drug use (cocaine, etc,) and other disturbing topics . I’m basing this story off of personal experiences, and in no way do I want someone who isn’t ready to read something like this to read this. This is like the last safe chapter, please do not read after this if you can’t handle the topics mentioned above

Summary: Klaus moves Reader up to Ben’s old room early in the morning. Afterwards, they eat breakfast and decide to trip on acid together. Five learns more about her than he expected to today

Warnings: Drug use (LSD[acid],) mentions of suicide, mentions of sex

Word Count: 3777

Taglist: @alexander-hamilhoe @dumdumsun

The gentle shaking of (Y/n)’s shoulder pulled her from her sleep. Klaus stood over her, harshly whispering her name. Looking towards his window, she could see the sky was just barely starting to light up, it was still early. 

“Klaus it’s like 7:30!” She quickly grabbed the sheet that was covering her from the waist down and yanked it over her head. A small groan left Klaus’s mouth and he yanked it back off of her. “It’s Sunday!” She tried convincing him to let her sleep in, but it was no use. 

“I talked to Ben and he said you could stay in his room!” Klaus wrestled with (Y/n) over the blanket, knowing she was still tired. Ever the impatient man he was, Klaus spoke again, “We gotta get you settled in right now!” 

“Fine! Fine. I’m up.” (Y/n) sat up and shoved her matted hair out of her face.  “Why right now?” Klaus looked at her like the answer was obvious. It wasn’t, of course. 

“Because trauma can be associated with places! Coming in here right after what happened yesterday could be an issue.” He grabbed a hair brush off of his dresser and pushed her to sit on the bed. Climbing behind her, he started to brush her hair. “Even if you aren’t reminded of it in here, it’s always good to be able to have some privacy.” He made valid points. 

“I guess you're right.” Klaus was extraordinarily gentle with her hair, pulling out all of the mats and even putting in the effort to put it in a low ponytail to keep it out of her face.  “Thank you.” (Y/n) turned and smiled at Klaus, pulling him into a quick, tight, hug. 

Ben's room was up the green stairway, across from Five’s room. (Y/n)’s face scrunched a little when she realized Five would be right across the hallway, but she didn’t complain. Her arms were a little tired from carrying her suitcase and heavier back pack up the stairs so early in the morning, but it would fade rather quickly.

Klaus opened the door and stepped aside, letting (Y/n) rush to the bed with her heavy luggage. “Dad replaced everything in this room a week after Ben died.” Klaus sat on the bed next to her luggage, and she plopped next to him. “He said old reminders would only set us back, so he made this one of many guest rooms.” Klaus peered in the closet, knowing that Ben’s academy uniforms were no longer hanging pristinely on the rack. 

“He didn’t die in here, did he?” (Y/n) turned to look at Klaus, feeling heavy sympathy. 

“Oh no! A mission went wrong, and I suppose we all messed up, but the monster inside his chest started tearing him apart.” Klaus’s usual, very happy energy, was replaced by a solemn, cold one. “He died in the infirmary.” Klaus looked down at the bedsheets. They weren’t the one that Ben had used. “I still talk to him every day, but it still makes me a little sad.” Klaus sniffled and rubbed his eyes. 

(Y/n) pulled Klaus into a bone crushing hug, knowing he needed the comfort. “That’s terrible.” She was a very empathetic person, relying more on feeling than thinking, so she was struggling to hold back her own tears. “Are you sure he’s ok with this?” 

“Yeah! He said something about moving on, and finally attempting to find peace.” Klaus clapped his hands once as he stood. “He’s kind of started meditating too, which is kind of weird, because he’s a ghost and all.” He stood and glanced around the room, getting a good look at it before (Y/n) would make it her own. “Let’s go get some breakfast after we unpack, huh?” 

“That sounds nice.” (Y/n) stood and hugged Klaus again, silently letting him know that she was there for him. 

The walk all the way down to the basement kitchen was unexpectedly exhausting. Six flights of stairs later, two flights between every floor, they were sitting at the table, staring at Five scrape his eggs off the skillet and onto his toast. 

“I’m not making eggs for you two.” His voice was monotone and annoyed. He wasn’t a morning person. “Take some responsibility and make them yourself.” Five grabbed his food and coffee, and looked at both of them before giving his usual tight-lipped smirk and blipping away, presumably to his room. 

Klaus released a few small giggles he was holding in and hopped off the island. “He always seems to add a little spice to life.”

As he was making his way over to the fridge to grab some eggs, (Y/n) asked; “Is he like this every morning?” Not wasting a second after her question, Klaus replied. 

“Yep!” He pulled out four eggs and set them in a clean bowl on the counter. “Without a doubt. It’s worse on weekdays too, because the classes he teaches are all early in the morning. Now do you want scrambled, fried, or boiled?” 

“Scrambled, please.” As Klaus got to work on making breakfast for the two of them, she thought about what Five might teach. “Hey Klaus?” 

“Yeah?” Klaus was stirring the already scrambled eggs in the skillet. 

“What does Five teach? I mean it makes sense that he’s a teacher, but I just can’t think of what he’d be so willing to teach for a living.” Klaus looked back at (Y/n) before down at the eggs again. Her chin was resting in her hands, and she stared over at him, waiting for his answer. 

“I think some sort of ethics class, like there’s different types of ethics, but that’s all I really know. He doesn’t really talk about work, and it’s a bit weird considering he was an assassin.” Klaus split the scrambled eggs in two separate bowls with forks in them and gave one to (Y/n). 

“He killed people?” (Y/n) dug into the eggs, shoving them in her mouth, listening for Klaus. 

“We’ve all dabbled with a little murder before, it’s not really that big of a deal for us, but he swore never to kill for someone else again, I’m pretty sure.” Klaus fillet out a little moan of joy as he started filling his own stomach with the eggs. 

“That must be why he was so unphased about what happened yesterday, that makes me feel a lot better.” She concluded, trying not to remember the way she nearly beat the life out of the man in Five’s car as she shoved more of Klaus’s eggs in her mouth. “These are really good!” 

“Danke!” Klaus thanked her in German, with a mouth full of eggs. He swallowed them and continued speaking. “That actually reminds me- you’ve done acid right?” (Y/n) thought on the question for a moment before answering. 

“No actually, but I did do shrooms a lot with my friends before I dropped out.” Her fork scraped the bowl, trying to get the last of the eggs. 

“Good! You have experience.” Klaus poured the last of his eggs in his mouth, straight from the bowl, before swallowing. “Would you like to do acid with me? You don’t have to, but I feel like this would definitely raise your spirits.” Klaus leaned toward her, waiting for her answer. 

“I’d love to actually.” (Y/n) swallowed the last of her eggs, and stacked her bowl with Klaus’s, before taking them to the sink to wash them. Klaus stood and followed her, digging in the breast pocket of his half-unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and pulling out a small square of folded tin foil. 

“Great! Now stick your tongue out.” Klaus unfolded the foil and pulled a tiny white square of paper, roughly the size of a phone keyboard key, out from the six-ish others in it. (Y/n) stuck her tongue out as she rinsed the now-clean bowls and Klaus placed the piece of paper on it, before sticking one on his own tongue.

(Y/n) stuck her tongue back in her mouth and sucked a bit on the paper. “So do I swallow it, or…?” The tab didn’t make it any harder to talk, thank god. 

“If you want to, but you absorb it faster when it’s in your mouth.” Klaus picked up the bowls and started drying them. “It’s not bitter at all is it?” Klaus asked, checking to make sure she didn’t take a laced tab.

(Y/n) focused on the tab again, not really noticing any taste. “Not that I can notice.” Klaus smiled as he shut the cabinet where he placed the bowls. 

“That means we’re all good! You can swallow it when the paper feels soggy enough, though, you’ve probably absorbed most of it by now.” Klaus led her back upstairs to his room, practically dragging her by her wrist. “Things are gonna get really funny for a little bit before you actually start tripping.” Klaus shut the door behind them and plopped on his bed. 

“Doesn’t it take like an hour to kick in?” This wasn’t her first rodeo, so she knew her way around at least a bit. 

“Yeah yeah, it’s kinda like shrooms? But the visuals and the trip are just a bit different, you’ll see what I mean.” Klaus grabbed a joint he had rolled earlier and lit up, taking a few puffs before passing it to (Y/n). “Just settle in for like half an hour and then get up to see how you feel.” 

•••

Tripping on LSD was a profound experience. (Y/n) wasn’t able to go outside, as it was raining cold, so she stayed inside, wandering around the house. She and Klaus made some really cool art, and Klaus held it over the vents to dry while she was walking around the house. 

Tripping felt like seeing the universe fully for the first time, and she could somewhat understand Klaus’s view of the world. Many times throughout the last three hours, she thought she saw Five blipping away out of the corner of her eye. She had dismissed it every time, of course.

Now the trip was peaking, and the visuals were insane. The air around (Y/n) felt like breathable, transparent, clay, and it was a little overwhelming with all the visuals, so she opened the door in front of her and quietly sat next to it, letting out a long, happy sigh. Closing her eyes, she paid attention to the gorgeous visuals she could see behind her eyelids. 

(Y/n) didn’t even notice Five sitting on his bed, staring at her from over his book. She was too focused on the movement behind her eyelids, and the euphoric feeling surrounding her, so when Five spoke, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“I think you have the wrong room.” The sound of Five closing his book reached her ears. 

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, I- I wasn’t paying attention I’ll leave.” (Y/n) stumbled over her words as she tried to stand, clearly embarrassed.

“No, no, it’s fine actually.” Five spoke, rather out of character. “A little company once in a while feels nice, and I see no harm when you’re being quiet.” His face was beyond distorted, but she could still recognize his permanent scowl. 

“Really?” (Y/n) settled back down, more relaxed and at ease. 

“Yeah, I don’t really care.” Five grabbed his book again, opening it back to where he was. “Just don’t be too annoying.”  

“I won’t don’t worry.” Five grunted quietly at her response. A smile painted itself on her face, and she slid all the way down the wall, with her head now on the floor with the rest of her. 

•••

And she was quiet. Five watched for like an hour and a half as her eyes slowly focused on something new in his room every few moments. She was quite taken by the math equations across his wall, and he found it rather cute. He started to find her less annoying, now understanding that she coped the way his brother did. 

He was alone once again in his room now, no longer accompanied by (Y/n). In fact, she was accompanied by one of her “friends.” She barely even knew the guy. 

Five could hear everything. Every moan. Every word spoken with the intent of being quiet, but wasn’t held under the gentle guise of a whisper. It infuriated him. 

Of course, he understood that she didn’t grow up in a particularly healthy home, given that she was in a homeless shelter at almost 18, so she didn’t understand healthy coping habits. It genuinely hurt his heart, if just a little bit, that he could watch another hurt soul walk down the same path as his brother. 

Klaus had gotten help for his addictions, and was off addictive drugs completely, but even Five understood that not everyone will be able to get the help they need. He wouldn’t say he had any feelings for her, but he still felt sympathy. 

Knowing that it was how she coped made hearing all of it a little easier, but he still wasn’t able to handle it after hearing it for fifteen minutes, so he jumped down to the kitchen, brewed himself some herbal tea, added a little vodka, and read his book, criss cross, on the table in the center of the room, attempting to ignore what was happening right across from his room. 

•••

Bailey had just left, and (Y/n) was exhausted. He was kind of an ass, and he treated her like shit in middle school, but he was a horny teen, and it was really easy to just invite him over.

The trip was fading out now. She was no longer peaking, and the visuals were far less intense. (Y/n), after standing at the stairs, staring at them for a couple minutes, deemed it safe to be able to walk down them. She knew it was normally safe to go down the steps while tripping, but something in her head told her to wait, so she did. 

These particular steps were a little steep, as well, so she made her way down slowly, leading herself to the kitchen in the basement. Her bare feet padded quietly on the floor as she walked to the stove, turning the heating element under the tea kettle on. The bags under her eyes felt so beyond heavy, and she knew she’d be sleeping deeply tonight. 

“You done up there?” Five’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. (Y/n) turned and leaned on the counter to face him. 

“Yeah, yeah, he left like ten minutes ago. I’m just really tired and want some tea to relax I guess.” Her arms were crossed, comfortably holding each other up. 

Five hummed in response. “Well I see we both thought of the same thing.” He lifted his mug of tea, peppermint maybe, and put it to his lips. 

“I thought you only drank coffee.” (Y/n) chuckled a little feeling the heat of the stove begin to reach her back. 

“Well it wouldn’t be very logical to drink caffeine so late in the day, especially when I have to teach an early class tomorrow.” Five flipped the page of his book, continuing to read while talking to her. 

“Makes sense.” Her words were drowned out by the high whistling of the tea kettle, letting her know she could pour it into the cup. Grabbing the tin of loose leaf tea, she hummed as she scooped it into the reusable tea bag that was next to it. 

(Y/n) dropped the tea bag in the cup, following up with the boiling water. She turned, bringing her and her cup to the table, now sitting next to Five. Five was a grumpy, annoying, old, man who has to grow up all over again, but his company was enjoyable, it contrasted hers in such a way that it comforted her. It made her feel like her ADHD was less severe, like her inability to focus was matched by someone who could do nothing but focus. 

Only a day had gone by since they met, and she was already comforted by him. 

Five shut his book and looked over at her. The more he got to know her, the more subtly enjoyable he found her. Her sitting not two feet from him didn’t bother him as much as it usually would. He was kind of ok with that. 

“You drink peppermint?” (Y/n)’s voice was scratchy and hoarse. She really did need the tea. 

“Yeah, it’s the least fruity from what I’ve tried.” He took another sip. “Simple classic.” He set it down and looked over at her, engaging in an unexpected conversation.

“I tend to prefer fruitier teas, I’ve noticed.” She looked down at the cup that she’d been drinking out of for a couple minutes now. “They go down easier and really comfort me. Reminds me of my mom, she only ever made fruity teas.” She took another sip, letting the warmth fill her up. 

“What happened to your mom?” Five looked back down at his drink, then back up at the girl next to him. “I noticed that you didn’t exactly live with her when we picked up your stuff.” 

“Yeah..” (Y/n) hesitated a little. He was awfully blunt. “I was like seven when it happened, but I’m told it was a double suicide, between her and dad.” Her legs were swinging a little nervously. “Mom sent me up to my room one night and told me not to come out until she opened the door, no matter what. The next day a detective came into my room and carried me out screaming. They were both dead on the floor. I lived with my aunt and uncle after that.”

“Oh shit.” Five didn’t expect her answer to be this upsetting. 

“Yeah. My uncle told me it was a double suicide, my aunt said the same thing, she manipulated me and made me think they did it because of me.” (Y/n) sighed into her drink, her distorted reflection staring back at her. “I don’t even remember what the scene looked like, just a lot of blood. I don’t look at anything about it either, don’t really want to relive it.” 

“That’s really tough, wow.” Five chuckled uncomfortably and finished his drink. “I didn’t know my mother, but my mom was a robot. She was pretty much indestructible, but she was fully shut off when our house was being attacked a long time ago.”

“Oh my.” (Y/n)’s voice was soft, hoarse, and tired. Her hand gently moved to rest atop his, not really knowing how else to reassure him, if he even needed it, of course. “I’m sorry about that.” 

Five didn’t even seem to notice his hand being covered. “No it’s fine, I got over it long long ago.” His words were just slightly slurred, and his eyes had reddened slightly.

“Well I’m here if you ever need like, a hug or something.” (Y/n) laughed. “I don’t really know how else to comfort anyone.” 

“It shouldn’t be your job to comfort anyone, that’s not your responsibility.” Five chuckled and smiled slightly. (Y/n) hadn’t expected him to smile, and it wasn’t as weird as she thought it would be.

Before she could even mention it though, Klaus’s happy, booming voice echoed in the kitchen as he practically skipped to the fridge. As she yanked her hand away from Five, she noticed the way he pulled his arm away as well. Maybe he did notice?

Klaus and Five started talking about something as he got off the table and placed his cup in the sink, but she wasn’t paying attention. Before her attention was quickly pulled to the floor, she thought on the way Five had wrenched his arm away. 

As anxiety inducing as it was, the LSD that was still in her system made it easy to quickly move onto the next thought. Before she knew it, a flash of blue wrenched her out of her head and she looked up at Klaus, now alone with her in the kitchen. 

“Hey, sweetie.” Klaus kissed her cheek and led her gently off the table and to the stairs. “Your trip going good?” He popped a black olive in his mouth. 

“Yeah it’s going fine, I really like it. It’s kinda different from shrooms, but not like a bad different.” She was just two steps behind him, trying to keep the same pace as him. 

“That’s great.” Klaus hummed as he popped another olive in his mouth. “These are absolutely amazing. I figured you would like it, it’s really calming and stuff for me. Makes the sad feeling kinda disappear for weeks after.” 

“Oh same, I’ve just felt creative and warm all day.” They stopped in front of Klaus’s room, Klaus still eating his olives. “I’m actually exhausted too, the trip felt really nice.” 

“Well I’m glad I could have helped.” Klaus pulled her into a tight hug, humming loudly. Hugs felt great on psychedelics, she had noticed. 

“You helped so much.” (Y/n)’s voice was slightly muffled by Klaus’s chest. She pulled out of Klaus’s chest, speaking again. “I’m gonna go to bed now, if that’s ok, I’m so so tired.” She laughed a little. 

“That’s fine, I’m gonna crash the moment I hit my bed, so..” Klaus smiled down at her, thankful for this mini-him. 

“Night night, Klaus.” (Y/n) and Klaus both separated to head to their rooms, both about to sleep deeply enough to miss a train going through the house. 

The stairs up to her new room were an almost pastel green color, covered by what looked to be years of grime and nicotine stains. It added character, she thought. The checkerboard floor at the top of the stairs seemed to lead her straight to her new room, which she was really thankful for, she was exhausted. 

Her fingers wrapped around the doorknob, twisting the old carved crystal just enough to open it. She closed it the same way, with just enough effort for it to work, she could have sworn she saw something blue flash near her, but she doubted herself immediately. Once she plopped on the bed, her fingers dragged her phone across the sheets towards her. 

It took (Y/n) two full minutes to open her phone, not remembering her password and then not being able to type the right letters slowed her down significantly. It wouldn’t matter though, because once she turned on some quiet music, she was fast asleep.

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy season 17×06 Review

(How the f**k they just gonna leave me on read like this till March 4th)

The episode was a rollercoaster but something tells me the real ride is going to happen from the next episode.

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Maggie

I knew Winston was gonna show up in person at some point or the other. When he dropped the long distance wasn't working line and put the phone down in her ear so he could get some 'eggs' I knew he was in Seattle, good for her she's going to need him to lean on seeing that Mer freaking crashed again. At least she'll have somebody there for her because all her other support is personally attached to Meredith as well.

Besides Winston turning up, treating Tom and her being understandably giddy at Mer being awake there was also a scene where she educated Amelia on some things now I won't get into the details again but I'm just in love with the fact that Grey's isn't afraid to touch on controversial topics, they use their large platform to raise awareness and their speeches are always on point.

___________________________________________

Teddy/Owen

(She needed the time off more than Bailey did tbh)

My God was it satisfying when Richard literally just tore into her. She put herself in the situation and is now taking her anger out on others which is really in poor taste. Poor Helm, I hope she didn't take it personally. At this point it's her time to annoy me, I miss the season 6 Teddy, hopefully she redeems herself soon. After being torn apart by Webber's words she then proceeds to make things worst by revealing yet another big secret to Owen at work. (At least this time it was on purpose.) She just needs to take some time away and think on what she really wants and needs to reflect before spontaneously starting potentially life changing conversations. First it was telling Tom they had a chance then it was telling Owen that she still loves him and the kids while also revealing that she named their daughter after not only her best friend but also the woman that she was very much in love with. Pick a struggle Teddy at this point she's seeming confused more than anything else.

___________________________________________

Owen

For the past few seasons Owen was one of the characters getting on my nerves but lately he's been fine. He hasn't redeemed himself yet but his probation is going fine. Watching this show really shows how good of a person a doctor has to be in order to follow the ethical guidelines. If I had that scum bag for a patient I would have literally just pretended to fail at saving him and let the guy die, (guess that's why the Lord made me suck at Chemistry and Physics) his response to Bob about him being at the devils barbecue was badass, gave me serious season 5 Owen vibes or vibes like when he punched that guy out for disrupting the ER when he was chief, Major Hunt reporting for duty.

As for him and Teddy I can get why he was upset, her he was about to attempt to make amends at probably rekindling a friendship or maybe their relationship and she revels that your daughter is named after her lover, she could have atleast told him that when they were in the naming process, he deserved to know exactly who his child was being named after. I'm kinda a bitch but there was no way I'd feel comfortable having my child named after my partner's lover. On the other hand he should hear her out he has literally cheated twice and both times he sat and was able to share his side of the story and the woman he was with listened to his explanations. Teddy deserves as much, it might hurt but he did the same and Karma unfortunately is still a bitch.

___________________________________________

Bailey

(I just wanted to give her a hug the whole night.)

She has a really unhealthy habit of working through her grief, first her miscarriage and now through the death of her mom. I'm honestly sad that Ben had to be the one to comfort Tuck and tell him his grandmother had even died (she's always so busy, Ben is pratically the one raising him at this point.) And I'm also upset that I haven't gotten to see Ben being there for her either. I'm assuming it might be a protocol on the sets.

At least she took time off of the cases, I understand why she didn't want to go home as a doctor she has the highest risk of transporting the virus, but her mind understandably wasn't going to be in the doctoring game. I really thought they were gonna make her freeze up and accidentally kill a patient or something, but at least they didn't go down that line. And what even happened to her dad? did he take the Covid test? Wheres he staying now? Is he safe?

The conversations between her and Deluca were sweet, it's another unexpected friendship, before the only one she really disclosed any details of her life with was Richard but now they're opening her support group which is fine. I'm also glad that Deluca was able to look past the whole fiasco last season and hold no grudges. She has now fully redeemed herself completely, she's still my all time favorite character but from season 13 to probably mid season 16 she really had some storylines and scenes that irked me to watch and made me question some things, but now she's back on track at least to me.

Also I know that Richard is the chief of chiefs but how are they just gonna let him take back over the surgery unit like that again? I mean I did miss him as chief but now Bailey just basically seems like a regular old surgeon with a fancy office, idk it just seems kinda weird to me.

___________________________________________

Jackson

Not only carrying on the work and teachings of Mark Sloan but also using his boatload of cash to rescue a patient's mother from racist police who should have been the ones actually in prison. That was basically it for him though.

___________________________________________

Jo

Oml I honestly almost forgot she was even really in the episode. She had so little screen time. She's still in the middle of transitioning to OB. I have no issue with that because OB's still can do surgery, so we'll still get to see her and she'll be happy again plus it's about time that Grey's cashes in that Regulars card on Carina. We see her on Station 19 as an accessory I want to see the Jo and Carina tag team.

___________________________________________

Amelia

Not really much in this episode. No content with Link she just did surgery to save the scum with Owen. They may have made a mediocre couple but they work good as friends. Also I'm assuming she's off of maternity leave now? Did they mention that I'm not sure but she's back now.

___________________________________________

Richard

Not much of a storyline, he made the decision to put Meredith on the Vent and is busy running the hospital as the chief of the hospital again I guess. And also spitting the much needed facts that Teddy needed to hear.

___________________________________________

Tom

They're finally showing more of Tom's good side, I mean I always liked him and saw the potential in his character but they never really showed his soft side for a prolonged period like they did today. May I just say I enjoyed his and Meredith's friendly banter they have the same lowkey dark humor and at least it would have taken their minds off of being sick especially for him because he basically has no one else. Hearing him open up about his son and expressing how he'd do anything to hear him say dad again was sad I can only imagine his pain. Meredith was his reason for holding on especially after he had to witness his roommate die from Covid, the same thing he's suffering from right before his eyes and now Mer back unconscious this time with a tube down her throat I'm just really hoping that he keeps the faith, the last thing we need is a death right now.

___________________________________________

Meredith

(God damn it Mer all you had to do was stay awake.)

For a few brief moments all was right with the world Meredith was awake and everyone was happy and then she just had to go be Wonder Woman and over exert herself, but that's the thing they would have probably needed armed guards at the doors to keep her from putting someone else's life above her own, its one of her best qualities and at times one of her worst. I knew it was too good to be true when she was awake and laughing. It was giving me Mark Sloan final episode vibes. They better not kill her off that would be the worst ending for me, what about the kids? Step off the damn beach Mer you've gone through too much to let Covid take you out. On the other hand this gives us more beach scenes. It's more unlikely to have a live character return but there's still lots of dead ones to choose from, her mother is always a likely suspect, Denny loved being on the show and I think Breaking bad had its final season, Mark is a toss up based on how he cut ties with the show and Lexie is also a toss up because she is filming Supergirl in another country, however anything is possible with Grey's. I thought the beach scenes were over because she was waking up but look how wrong I was. All I hope is that they don't kill her off its unlikely because she's the main character but still its Grey's they like to go out with a bang.

___________________________________________

Deluca

I left him for last because to me he really did have the biggest storyline of the night.

Firstly I'm glad to see that at least part of the earliers season's Deluca has returned. I loved him as the passionate, badass and almost cocky guy as well but I always missed his more compassionate and softer side more. I'm glad to see it back and I'm also glad to see that he's taking his meds and resting, and I can confirm that having support is a needed factor in treating mental health. As strange as it was seeing the Bailey and Deluca chat it's good that they both have each other. They both suffer from mental illnesses and can relate to each other on a different level. They have me wondering now if they're going to use his mental health issues as a way to separate him and Mer, or use it as the reason why he pursued her, kinda like how they tried to blame Amelia's tumor for her bad decisions and then used it to break her and Owen up. I guess we'll just have to see where Merluca will go from here or if it will manifest Merhaynes instead.

Now onto the big stuff, the whole sex trafficking thing the whole episode I was literally yelling at the tv for either Deluca, Bailey or Carina to see that bitch, the moment it was connected that the kidnapper was involved in trafficking and she showed up I knew shit was about to go down. My heart was racing when I saw her with Schmitt. I really thought she was going to attack him with how sus she was being, luckily she had to go to avoid further suspicion. They need to put security on those girls' door. They've been through enough. If she goes to finish off Bob then no one cares but the girls don't deserve to go through anything else and Deluca after seeing her decided to go after him himself instead of calling the police, granted the police wasn't doing anything helpful but the last thing we need is for him to go after her himself like Superman and trying to save the day. At least Carina went with him so she can help talk him down if necessary but there's only so much she can do.

___________________________________________

There are too many damn superheroes in that hospital.

___________________________________________

My questions are:

• Will both Tom and Meredith make it out of the Covid sickness or will one or even both of them die?

• Will Teddy finally make her mind up so that the Teddy, Tom and Owen love triangle can finally have an ending?

• Who the hell is coming to the beach next? And can they tell Meredith to get her ass off of the beach and never return until she's like 80?

• Will Superman, I mean Deluca save the day without needing medical attention afterwards? Or worst yet needing a casket?

• Is Jo actually switching specialties?

• Are they going to go after the girls or kill Bob instead?

• How is it going to go with Maggie and Winston now that he has arrived in person?

• And lastly and most importantly what am I supposed to do with my Thursday nights until March 4th.

[magiefish]

hhhhhhhhhh guess who drew all the batim characters in prep for the comic they’re making!

yeah so it took like 4 days to draw all these guys, and it was actually pretty fun figuring out colours and designs and stuff!

(also, update on the Reveries Twisted comic, I have a plan for the first chapter but i have like, 7 tests next week and I haven’t started drawing it yet so it’s definitely not going to be coming out anytime soon sdfgsdfsj but i am still working on it!)

anyway, i felt like writing little descriptions for every character, so feel free to read these below the ‘keep reading’ line if you feel like it! My ask box is also always open, so if u have any questions feel free to ask

Bertrum Piedmont-he/him, gay/ace

-Started working as a mechanic at about 15 and worked his way up from there -Everyone in the studio @ him: why are u british -His big ego often gets in the way of things, but at his core he's a good person (doing bad shit but ultimately having good intentions is common among these guys shdgfs) -Wlw & mlm solidarity w/ Lacie, who is his most trusted confidant and friend -Actually treats his employees well, even when they do basically nothing all day, so he does a lot of work himself most of the time Linda Stein-she/her, straight as a ruler -Parents immigrated from Spain -She's very catholic and very into 'traditional family values' and that sort of stuff -She is sweet, but her strict morals and black and white ethics often make her do unintentional harm -She is also pretty oblivious to most things Jack Fain-he/him & they/them, pan/ace, OCD -Mother immigrated from China to France, and then he moved to America, it's confusing -Can play the violin really well, but is terrible at composing his own pieces -Peak friend material -Short and round and soft with a love of a good espresso -Kind and quiet but ultimately ineffective and happy to watch from the sidelines Daniel 'Buddy' Lewek-he/him, aro/ace, autistic, jewish -He is curious and observant, but very very naive -He finds it hard to pick up on social cues, and tends to daydream a lot -Never really had a father figure, and unfortunately kind of half sees Joey as one (baaaad choice), but his mother is great -Loves drawing and tends to chew on pens (and most objects really) -Too young Susie Campbell-she/her, demi -Her parents were Russian and she picked up their accent, but taught herself how to cover it up. She is now excellent at voice acting. -Has a birthmark most theatres turned her away for. But luckily voice acting gave her another chance at performance, and the music department really does not care about it. -Her dad was a butcher, so she now knows a concerning amount about how to cut up and dissect meat. -She gets easily attached to things emotionally, and has a whole pile of random bits and bops she keeps on her person because she can't throw them away. -Naive, but smart enough to know how to read and deceive people if needed. Ms Abigail Lambert-she/her, lesbian -A very gifted artist, who is quite frustrated with the business aspect of animation. -Picked up quite a few things about engineering from Lacie. -Stern, but kind. Motherly, if she likes you and you squint hard enough. -Used to fighting for things. -Giving her food is a pretty good way to get her to like you. Being an artist, she forgets to eat at the correct times a lot, so a meals always appreciated. Norman Polk-he/him, gay, albino -Knows how to fix things, knows how to fight, knows how to hide -General cool uncle vibes -He watches people a lot, and gives off some creepy vibes, but he does genuinely care about people -Knows something is up and is determined to find out what (even if he dies trying) -Fought in WW1, then worked at a cinema for a bit. Emma Lamont-she/her, heteroflexible -Keep dancing even when everything goes wrong -Bit of a 'i'm better than these fools' mentality going on -But she's pretty chill, and willing to act when needed -Basically every woman in the studio knows her on the basis that she chills in the girls bathroom. -Hates Joey, but knows those who stir up a bit too much trouble usually 'resign' Sammy Lawrence-he/him, (vocal-romantic) bi/ace, ADD -His dad sucked, so he ran away. He's also the reason he's largely abandoned his faith, but he still holds hope that there is some kind of god out there. -He and Jack are basically brothers, they've known each other for a long time. -He can compose music in his head, but can play basically every instrument. -Tall and thin and sharp with a love of black coffee. -He's actually pretty chill and nice, but the conditions of the studio (workload, noises, dreams) have left him quick to snap and a stressed out mess. -He's pretty oblivious to his own feelings and spends basically all his time thinking about music, so he usually only realises that he has a crush on someone if he hears them singing (hence the vocal-romantic joke) Johnny Hart-he/him (she/her), gay (trans), heart condition -A nervous wreck who avoids everything and everyone -Trans but doesn't realise it, he thinks this level of discomfort has something to do with his heart condition or something like that. -Speaking of which, if he gets genuinely terrified or panicked he could have a heart attack. -Hence why he's a recluse who remains in the organ room and interacts w/ literally no one. -Except Dot and Buddy (who forgets he exists and who he also has a crush on). Wally Franks-he/him, pan -Friends with literally everyone who isn't one of the older folks (and thomas) -Honorary member of the music department because he can play a harmonica and vibes with everyone there. -Tries to put a positive spin on everything, often beyond the point of reason -A mischevous, mildly selfish prankster with a heart of gold -Gossip pals with Susie and Norman The Violinist-she/her, nobody knows -Has literally never expressed an emotion ever -Seems to know things are going to happen before they happen -Just generally pretty weird -She isn't friends with Dot, they're both just vaguely interested in what the others doing -She looks a lot like Allison, but the two have never spoken and nobody knows if they're sisters Thomas Connor-they/them, gynephilia -He is just. So tired. -An actual mechanical genius who gets his work used for the wrong purposes. -Is very of the 'when you're on a path stick to it' mentality -Cold and hard exterior that vertually no one except Allison has ever managed to get through. -He can and will beat you up. Henry Stein-he/him, gay, vitiligo -Nice and hardworking. -Doesn't have many emotions other than to draw. -He's in fucking narnia he's so deep in the closest. -Feels emotions, but buries them deep down and doesn't express them too clearly. -Has difficulty setting healthy boundaries with people and represses himself far too much. Joey Drew-he/him, homoromantic/pansexual, bipolar disorder, alcohol and cigarette addictions -Chaotic, feral, short little man who lies to everyone -Charismatic as hell, but also a terrible friend and person in general -He doesn't blink enough, does not know the meaning of personal space, and hasn't aged for about 4 years, which are all very bad signs. -Doesn't understand how to run a business but does so anyway. Doesn't understand how to interact with people but does so anyway. Doesn't understand how to create life but does so anyway- -He isn't pure evil, he just gets into very bad mindsets and makes poor decisions that lead him down the wrongest way to go. -Does some self evaluation and goes 'maybe this wasn't the right way chief :/' just a bit too late Audrey Dempsey-she/her, lesbian, Borderline Personality Disorder -Feral conspiracy theorist -May or may not be related to multiple studio members -Everyone's called her crazy for years and made her feel like a burden, and she is hellbent on proving everyone wrong -Quite socially awkward, and rather sarcastic with a dark sense of humour -Works for Archgate Allison Pendle-she/her & they/them, androphilic/ace -Is forever lost in a vintage clothing store -Most people say she seems nice, but everyone just kind of subconciously registers that there is something up with her -Knows a lot about the supernatural -The person closest to Joey, which doesn't necessarily mean they're friends -Nobody has ever seen the right side of her face Dot Acciaci-she/her, pan -Her parents are Italian, and she speaks a little herself, usually using it to encrypt her private notes -Mischevious & curious, but ultimately kind -She will find out your secrets, and is very good at reading people -Great storyteller -Struggles with loneliness a lot Dr Eleanor Hackenbush-she/her, aro/ace -Science knows no bounds -Doesn't care what your motivation is, as long as you give her some cash and some experiments -Filled with nothing but utter spite Ms Reina Rodriguez-they/them, demi -Tired of everything -Although she puts up a calm exterior, Rodriguez is very attached to the studio and views it as her 'new family', having a terrible relationship with her old one -Her family drama connects to the fact they're very catholic, but she nobody knows what this drama is other than Joey Tessa Arch-she/her, straight -An absolute bitch -Trusts her husband far too much -Not very smart, but compensates for this for being good looking and rich Shawn Flynn-he/him (intersex), pan -Jovial, but gets angry quickly -Willing to do 'wrong' things if it helps someone else out, kind of like Robin Hood or something -His mother taught him how to sew and he helped her make clothes when he was younger -Found it hard to get a job because he's Irish, so despite being tired of all the bullshit of JDS, he is reluctant to look elsewhere -Friends with Lacie and Grant because they appreciate his humour Lacie Benton-She/her, lesbian, trans -Tougher than the toughies -wlw & mlm solidarity w/ Bertrum, who she views as one of the only genuinely smart people in JDS and who she has worked for for basically all of her life -Feels like something is up, but doesn't notice much if it doesn't connect to her work -Has automatophobia -Friend with Shawn and Grant because she respects their dedication to their work Grant Cohen-He/him, bi, depression, jewish -Absolute madlad at maths -Acts like he doesn't care what you think, cares far too much about what you think -Everyone wants him to just get therapy already -Doesn't have many friends, but has a weird 'we're both horribly overworked' kinship with Sammy, so they usually just chill and smoke together -Friends with Shawn and Lacie because they're actually mentally stable and he needs some rocks Nathan Arch-He/him, straight -You should hate him -You should hate him a lot -Super rich and doesn't pay his workers enough -Silver tongued -Basically a spider. Creates webs of manipulation and lies, sees a lot, and knows plenty about waiting for his prey to come to him.

[dilutedheartbeat]

So, there's a weird part about growing up queer in a queer family, surrounded by fellow queers of all walks of life. You still get shit on by the world, and it hurts - hurts SO FUCKING MUCH - but there's a disconnect there, as well. After all, my family understands. They truly do understand the pain of changing what parts of you that you share with the world, with your friends at school and at their homes.

I already did this because of our religion, the additional editing barely registered.

I take that back, I was more open about being raised a Witch by other Witches than I was that sometimes I didn't feel like a girl or that girls and boys were roughly equally interesting. I was more open about the fact that we could name every single person who had passed on our religion going back over 500 years than the fact that several of my Aunts and Uncles in the community - both the Queer and the Pagan, and there were several that, like us, lay in the overlap - crossed gender boundaries in one way or another.

I grew up knowing first-hand how the AIDS crisis affected people. My Uncle Clemeth died when I was around 7 years old. I hadn't seen him in months because of the rules for the hospice house, after a lifetime of seeing him a few times a month. I'd barely seen his partner (not husband, because that was still over 20 years away, and not his domestic partner because that was still about 15 years off) in that time, because he'd been at the hospice house every day, every second he could, watching the love of his life waste away. The only person that could spend any time with him was the in-home caregiver who'd been caring for Clemeth before he got too ill, and I am very happy to say that the two of them are still together, still taking care of each other now as legally recognized spouses.

I grew up never worrying that my parents would be disappointed in whatever path I took. I was extremely privileged for that, and only wish I could do the same for my own kids (their father's family has them terrified of their own shadows, and I am slowly working through legal shit trying to get them away from that). I didn't have to worry that my parents would tear up my books or posters, destroy my jewelry or clothes over me choosing a different religious path. That I had been vocal since about 3 years old regarding which Gods called to me actually never factored into any of that. I didn't have to worry that my openly Bi parents, who were also openly polyamorous, would every shame me for my sexual wants or desires; they only made sure that I could talk to them about what I wanted or needed, and would help me safely explore.

I can still laugh at my mom buying me my first vibrator when I was 16, and the years later conversation in my twenties about how sex was weird as I'd recently discovered.

I can also still feel the warmth of her rage when she learned some of the shit that asshole pulled, and the way I felt safe telling her. I hope my siblings could feel the ice of my own when he tried to target them later.

I grew up going to Pride, marching in it, gleefully introducing my first girlfriend to my parents, even though we were only "out" to a handful of friends at school. I still think of her fondly, and hope she's well. I got to grow up around IT workers, social workers, authors, sex workers, tattooists, and people from every other walk of life. I got to dye my hair, cut it however I wanted. I got to choose when I got my first piercing, where it was (my ears, boringly enough, at age 4, though i plan on at least two more once it's safe) and when I wanted to gauge up they got me the jewelry and had me talk to some fellow poly Pagan friends about care and taking it slow.

When, at age 8 I was repeatedly trying to kill myself, my parents sought help. One of them sat me down and talked about her own struggles, and they found me a professional to talk to, and they made an effort to spend more time with me. Just because my problem was bigger than that didn't mean it didn't help, and they checked with me regularly about it; when I was in high school and spiraled heavily, they got me to the doctor, talked to her and let me talk to her privately, and reminded me to take the meds I was prescribed. When that med didn't help, they listened to me after I had to change to an entirely different med class, and shared their happiness that I was doing better.

They had learned after not listening to my younger sister, you see. My parents aren't perfect, and that whole talk I had when I was 8 scarred me heavily. Don't fucking tell your kids that you have it worse, okay? And maybe, just maybe listen when your kid tells you that the prozac makes them too manic and don't insist they can't be bipolar like mom's side of the family only depressed like yours, nearly killing your kid in the process. My sister is much better these days, but that was one of the first big experiences after the amnesia, and is still understandably bitter over it. Our older sibling and I are, too.

As an adult, I still had to deal with people being bigoted pieces of shit, now without the buffer of my parents. I had to deal with abusers who saw my barely acknowledged bisexuality as an easy target. I had to deal with classmates and coworkers mocking a later boyfriend for being gay. He wasn't, is still straight and cis, and unfortunately now a shitty dad, but because he taught ballroom dance that made him gay apparently. I still had to deal with lesbians insisting I just needed to pick a side. I still had to deal with homophobia, and biphobia, on top of defending my religion.

People fucking suck, okay?

As an adult, who grew up queer in a queer family surrounded by a queer community, though, it has brought me great pleasure to watch people try to make bigoted arguments, to convince me that somehow, at some time in some way I understood (understand) why it's a problem to let people be who they are. It's not a moral standpoint. It's not an ethical standpoint. They just really can't comprehend that I don't hate myself on some level, because I was never taught to. My exposure to that kind of bullshit was extremely limited to public school and visiting my grandmothers. Even then, the kids didn't know what they didn't know, and at least one of my grandmothers only cared that she got to see us.

Every place we went, every one of my parents' friends we visited, I was surrounded by people who were queer or part of my religion, and frequently both. I was aware there were bigots in the broader Pagan community, but my parents didn't have the time for that, so it wasn't really in my sphere. I could be me, in public. If I was a boy that day, I was a boy that day, and no one said boo about it.

Even now, years and years later, seeing the uptick in TERF bullshit and purity bullshit and people trying to rewrite the history of my communities (both queer and pagan, and they can all fuck right off), I'm not ashamed. I'm not confused. I am who I always have been. Labels may have changed with time as people find new words that fit them better, but even as safe as my upbringing was, we all still are part of the same community; the world outside still existed, my parents simply took the hits for me.

I guess the reason I'm writing all this, sharing all this when I usually keep my personal stuff offline is that I'm seeing a lot of queer people under every label talking about how they somehow can't do all... ^^this... for their own future kids - whatever form those kids come in. Y'all, my parents are a Boomer and a Gen Xer. I'm still doing what I can for my kids. There's not a cis-het person in my immediate family! You can do this.

Please don't give up hope, or leave that hope to the wider world being more acceptable. That acceptance comes at the cost of lives and loves and so much time. Raise your kids in the community. Adopt kids in the community. Be an Aunt or Uncle or Adjacent Adult Figure of whatever term fits! Let kids know themselves and that you are there for them. I believe in you.

[ofmargos]

chicago’s very own margo rosas has been spotted on madison avenue driving a mercedes-AMG G65 , welcome ! your resemblance to camila mendes is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-third birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re distrusting , but being passionate might help you . i think being a scorpio explains that . 3 things that would paint  a  better picture of you would be lipstick stained kisses on mirrors , doing vocal warm-ups five minutes before top of show , popping bottles of bubbly to celebrate buying a new pair of shoes . ( my biological dad paid off my mom to keep my relation to him a secret ) & ( cis-female + she / her  ) +  (  lia , 20 , she / her , cst )

whAT is up my dudes ! i’m lia & i lowkey missed wealthy & writing for my bbygirl margo so i’m rlly excited to be here !!!! if you know her from before i’m sorry lmao i’ve tweaked her background a bit but everything else is p much the same ig ?? she’s fun , she’s a dumbitch , & she’s here to make things harder than they need to be probs . but if you wanna know more , i wrote a novel below so plz enjoy that . if you wanna plot then LIKE THIS & i’ll slide in your im’s.or if you prefer discord hmu @  𝐛𝐛𝐧𝐨$𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥#1904. i look forward to writing with y’all ! <3

S T A T S ↴

-- * FULL NAME : margaret lucia rosas -- NICKNAME(S) : margo ( preferred name , started introducing herself to people as “margo” back in like the 7th or 8th grade ??? who’s margaret ? we don’t know her ) , mar , mars -- * AGE : twenty-three -- * D.O.B : october 31 -- * ZODIAC : scorpio -- * GENDER : cis-female --* ORIENTATION : heterosexual heteroromantic -- * HEIGHT : 5′2″ -- * NATIONALITY : american -- * BIRTHPLACE : chicago , illinois -- * OCCUPATION : broadway performer -- * TRAITS : passionate , creative , dramatic , distrusting , outgoing , ambitious , fun-loving , loyal , daring , sarcastic , stubborn , overconfident , impulsive , hard-working , petty , secretive lowkey

B I O G R A P H Y ↴

( TW : BRIEF MENTIONS OF ABORTION, ALCOHOLISM, AND DRUG USE )

   first things first , i’m just going to say it-- margo was an accident . and her story begins with her mother , stassia , who was born and raised on the wrong side of the tracks in chicago , illinois . although she was born into poverty , she had big aspirations for herself and wanted a better lifestyle . her ambition and work ethic were unmatched , and that’s how she managed to get into columbia university ( thank you scholariship $$ ). stassia was in the middle of struggling through her college years when she met her future baby daddy . he was older , going through grad school , and the sole heir to a billion-dollar company . the sparks between them flew instantly despite their differences and they messed around for the better part of a year before the unexpected happened . stassia found herself taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom in between finals ( #justcollegethings , amirite ) and swore she was going to pass out when she noticed the double lines . and let’s just say that her baby daddy did NOT take the news well . a lot of horrible things were said that day . too many hurt feelings for the relationship ( that apparently was never that serious to homeboy ) to carry on . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) so he cut all ties with stassia-- but not before giving her a crazy proposition : get an abortion and never talk to him again OR keep the baby but tell absolutely no one it’s his and never talk to him again . they both seemed like shitty options to stassia , who was actually tragically in love w him , but when he even offered to PAY HER a hefty sum ( i’m talking millions of dollars ) to keep the secret .. well-- it seemed like a blessing in disguise . she’d finally have the funds to live the life she always wanted . even if there was now a baby she didn’t plan for in the mix . so she took the hush money , had the baby in secret , and ran off to completely reinvented herself . ( TRIGGER WARNING END )

    although margo’s mother was born into poverty , margo certainly was not . by the time she was born , margo’s mom was ramping up to graduate college and join the high society in the heart of chicago . she got a good job , a lavish place to live , and never told margo about her past . margo grew up completely disconnected from her mother’s side of the family and had no idea of the lies she was being fed over the years . early on in margo’s childhood , her mother met a man through work who she would later go on to marry . that man is the only dad that margo has ever known . he and his daughter were a welcomed addition to their little family , making margo’s home life feel complete in some way . she was provided a good life with the dual income adding to the millions her mother kept . the life her mother always wished she had growing up . in a way , everything she did was for margo . she never wanted her babygirl to struggle like she had to .

   as she got older , margo went to all the best schools but only made average grades . she was never too concerned with academics and instead focused on her poppin’ social life and extracurriculars . during her middle school days , she developed an affinity for the performing arts . when everyone had to pick an elective , margo found herself in the theatre class and absolutely loving it . and she was good too . she had excellent stage presence and took every role she got in school productions in stride -- literally the best tree number 3 you’ve ever seen in your life . as she moved on to high school , she rose in the ranks of the theatre department until she was pretty much landing every single lead by the time she was an upperclassmen . acting was her passion , and she figured why not turn being dramatic and talking a lot ( her two most notable personality traits ) into a career . to really hone the craft , she trained herself to be a triple threat : actor , singer , and dancer ( sutton foster , eat your heart out ) . honestly truly had rachel berry in early seasons of glee vibes-- she knew she was the best around and wouldn’t stand to let anyone take the spotlight from her . her peers hated to love her talents because she acted like such a bitch to them offstage / out of character . not that margo really cared for what others thought of her anyway . self absorbed as ever , she told herself she didn’t need friends and generally pushed away any one that dared try to get close to her-- save for her sister . though somehow , someway she managed to get sucked into a small group of friends that would change her for the better ( s/o to ky and gio , sorry they had to put up w bitchy hs margo , rip )

   after graduating somewhere in the middle of her class , margo followed in her mother’s footsteps and went to columbia university . she was really only able to get in because she was a legacy and her parents made a considerable donation to the school , but we don’t talk about it . and to say that margo’s college years were transformative feels like an understatement . on one hand , they were some of the best years of her life : she got a true taste of independence , met some of her best friends ( s/o oliver and claudia ), and felt fulfilled to be in the city she had romanticized for so long-- new york baby ! but it was also a very low point for her . back in her high school years , she felt like a very big fish in a teeny tiny pond . she was hot shit , the top dog in her department , and all her hard work and effort to remain leading lady had paid off . however , at columbia she was just one in hundreds of talented people . some with more or less talent , or more or less connections , but they deserved a shot at fame just as much as she did . margo felt like she was fighting for her chance in the spotlight every single day and it was both parts exhausting and humbling for her . she had a amy march mentality “i want to be great, or nothing” and considered throwing in the towel . temporarily thrown off by the pressure to be successful , she took a small tumble from grace . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) turning towards alcohol was her coping mechanism of choice . losing herself in the party scene and surrounding herself with other people that prioritized getting drunk or high over going to class and getting good grades had an obvious effect on her academic performance . ( END TRIGGER WARNING ) she almost lost her place in the BFA Theatre Program during her junior year due being on academic probation . it took a little bit of intervention on her close friends and family part to get margo clean and pull herself together . but by her senior year , she got back on track to graduate on time and participated in various shows at local theaters to build her resume . after almost losing everything she had ever worked for , a fire was lit under margo that had her determined to push herself hard than ever before and make a name for herself in the theatre world . 

   after she graduated from columbia she moved to new york permanently so that she could fully submerge herself in her work . not long after graduating , she was lucky enough to book several gigs including her big breakout role as lydia in beetlejuice the musical ! it really skyrocketed her into broadway stardom which is cool . a life long dream that once seemed unobtainable was suddenly a reality and she couldn’t have been more elated . with her sudden ( and well deserved ) success , she got a lot of media attention . soon she was getting verified on twitter , instagram , gaining a whole bunch of followers , and getting asked to be on talkshows and stuff to promote the show . honestly , truly a dream ! but her new-found fame gained the attention of another group of people .. her mom’s long lost family . one of her aunt’s ( that she previously didn’t know existed ) reached out to her through social media . and at first , margo honestly couldn’t believe that she had family that her mom never told her about . but after some thought it sort of made sense . in hindsight , her mom had always been evasive whenever margo asked about the other’s childhood or her side of the family .

   when margo told her mom about her aunt reaching out and how she wanted to meet her , her mom shut it down quick . stassia told her there were a lot of reasons that she didn’t talk to that side of the family and that was that-- PERIODT . but margo was #rebellious and went to meet with her aunt anyway . and that’s how she found out about her brazilian roots and her big ol’ loving and supportive extended family . that whole experience made margo reconsider what other things her mom was keeping from her . and boy oh boy was that a rabbit hole she shouldn’t have gone down . when margo started to demand her mother tell her the truth , it caused their relationship to grow tense . stassia eventually cracked and told her about her bio-dad and all the things she went through for margo . with the truth finally being exposed to her , margo started seeing things in a new light . like her whole life is kinda a lie and why didn’t her father want her ? where was he ? does he know who she is ? why did he never try to contact her ? has she ever walked past him in the streets and never knew ? it was all too much for her to think about so she just kinda ... shut it all out . she acted like nothing was different , even if her “ what if ” thoughts keep her up most nights . 

   if you just ignore the abandonment issues , insecurities , and her inability to handle emotions and focus solely on her success in material terms : margo’s doing really well ! she’s been living in new york full time for two (2) years now . she’s one of broadway’s most popular rising stars . having completed her run as the original lydia deetz on broadway , she’s moved on to take on the mantel of janis in mean girls on broadway . she’s learning , growing , and thriving . just trying to have a good time all the time with her friends and live the dream , baby !

P E R S O N A L I T Y  &  F U N  F A C T S ↴

margo is super fun-loving and down to clown 

will try anything once and it’s gotten her in trouble more times than she can count

also cannot stand to be bored , so she’s always looking for the next big adventure 

although she can be really ridiculous sometimes , she’s very serious when it comes to her work . she’s super hard-working and doesn’t let anything or anyone stand in the way of achieving her dreams : even herself

margo’s a very sociable girl and will talk to anyone and everyone . she’s the type that will hold a conversation for 2hrs with a stranger at a party and then when you ask her “who was that” she’s like “i don’t remember their name but i do know their entire life story so that’s cool”

has a way of making people feel like they know her really well when really she’s only letting them see 1/8th of her

keeps her personal life private normally unless you’re super good friends w her

i wouldn’t recommend pissing her off , bc she is petty as a mf and will lit rally never forget how one’s wronged her . this causes her to start fights sometimes . she’ll just bring up old shit out of no where and , since she’s nosy af , she makes everything her business and confronts people on their bs

she’s a whole liar bc she claims she’s a “retired party girl” but really party girl margo has never stopped , will never stop , can never be stopped

studied theatre in college but minored in mass communications just in case she needed a backup job

is v bad at being an adult !!!! like ... can’t cook , often forgets about her responsibilities until the last minute or needs to be reminded like 20 times , stills calls her parents to be like “how do u use a washing machine plz help” , y’know the drill . yet somehow she manages to act as a mom friend to the people that are closest to her ??? v much a “do as i say not as i do” type of hypocrite lol

she has a tiktok and posts dumb shit on there all the time w her friends and like vlogs her backstage experiences in the theater and does the stupid dances and all that stuff hehe

is learning portuguese after meeting the brazilian side of her family

self-proclaimed dancing queen and it’s not because she learned ballet , jazz , and tap whole dabbling in other styles but because when she’s drunk you will in fact catch her dancing on tables !!!!!

i cannot stress enough how bad she is at dealing with her own feelings . like ... instead of dealing with them head on she just ... shuts down . runs away . will ghost on someone she really likes just bc she’d rather leave first than get left and i hate her for it

have i mentioned how big her ego is ???? pHEW . she rides a v fine line between self confident and OVER confident . but tbh it’s just a cover up for how much she rlly hates herself , there i said it

loyalty is EVERYTHING to margo . if you got her back , she’s got your back . but if you screw her over or mess with anyone she loves then she’ll likely try to make your life a living hell IM SORRY

undiagnosed insomniac . nights she spends alone in her own bed are the hardest for her because it’s when all the bad scary thoughts creep up on her and no matter how much she wants to shut them out and just close her eyes and fall to sleep , she can’t . so she’ll often roam the city looking for a distraction or hit up her friends and bother them for some spare company

she’s doesn’t like to be alone ( not like in a romantic relationship sense -- she actually likes being single bc she’s afraid of letting ppl get close enough to hurt her ). hence why she’s always had a roommate even after she moved out of her parent’s house . if she’s not attached to her roommate / best friend kylie’s hip then she’s definitely hitting up her sister or her other friends to see if they want to hang out , even if hanging out is laying around doing nothing or running errands together . margo wants to tag along just for the company

notoriously known for coming up with terrible ideas or following through with other people’s terrible ideas without question bc #YOLO

she’s her pr agents worse nightmare simply bc she has no filter and will not change herself or what she posts just bc she has a big audience ( follow margo on social media and you’re gonna see the good , the bad , and the ugly she does not give a FUCK )

always has good intentions ! her execution / way of showing those intentions is just poor !

she is a rich girl that could not survive not being rich and doesn’t even realize how spoiled she is . spends money like it’s nothing

a mob boss ( this is a joke but also kinda not a joke )

WANTED CONNECTION PAGES HERE 

[johannstutt413]

The Doctor sat patiently in the chair as Warfarin went about the preparations for his weekly Oripathy examination. As a scientist (in a way) himself, knowing that the renowned Dr. Blood was willing to perform these routine examinations was humbling - after all, the advancements in hematology with minimal assistance…Of course, some of that might be thanks to her vampirism, but that had never bothered him.

“Everything is in place,” she announced amidst the Doctor’s contemplations. “You’re ready as well, I assume?”

“Correct...Warfarin, can I ask you a personal question?”

As she walked over to him with a needle, Warfarin nodded. “Of course.”

“I understand that you often drink blood from bags,” he mused, “but without them, you’d have to drink directly from the subject, if I’m not mistaken?”

“You’re not...If you wish to continue this discussion, maybe it should wait until I’ve drawn the necessary sample.”

The Doctor acquiesced. “Sure. Can I ask a different question?”

“Quite inquisitive today, aren’t you?” She sighed as she delicately stuck the needle into his arm. “Usually my patients refuse to converse, doing their best not to look terrified - or, of course, they’re incapacitated, but that’s neither here or there. What else are you wondering?”

“I was looking through the disciplinary documentation, and apparently you’re not allowed to come near me in a non-medical context for some reason...could you tell me anything about that?”

Warfarin took a sharp breath. “Another question that should wait a moment.”

“As you wish.” He watched her as she stared at the needle, a strange look in her eyes. “Hmm.”

“What is it?”

The Doctor smiled. “Nothing that can’t wait.”

“Well then.” She removed the needle and set a clump of absorbent material over the now-leaking hole. “Pressure. A few more minutes, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course.” His hand brushed hers for a moment...It was surprisingly warm, despite the rumors.

When Warfarin returned with a bandage, she seemed nervous to the Doctor. “Compression applied. Normally this would mean you must leave my office immediately, but as this contact is being made of your own volition, it should be okay. Perhaps, to be safe, we should start with the second question, so you understand the risks.”

“Risks?” Light danced behind the Doctor’s eyes. “Warfarin, what do you mean?”

“The restraining order was put in place because...because I want your blood, Doctor.” She took a seat on a rolling stool next to the patient’s chair, her hands pressing into her lap.

He leaned forward. “Is that unusual? You sustain yourself on blood and have devoted yourself to researching its properties as both a Sarkazian scientist and a sort of vampiric sommelier, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Sommeli-” Shock joined the mix of emotions in her glances. “You read those papers?”

“Sarkazians interest me greatly - the variety of body types would suggest you’re not a single race after all, but a coalition of different races classified as such by the fearful and unscientific, and the vampire branch in particular...Besides, your opinion is important to me, both in scientific fields and other things.”

Warfarin averted her eyes. “This must be a result of your amnesia, Doctor, because I don’t believe you could feel this way if you knew all the things I attempted-”

“Let me guess.” The Doctor stepped out of the patient’s chair and perched himself on another stool, closer to the vials of blood, which he moved back to Warfarin as she once again avoided looking at him. “Despite your best efforts to restrain yourself, there’s some chemical combination in my circulatory system that triggers a primal response from you - you have to have a taste, but you know that once that first drop crosses the threshold, there would be nothing to stop you from draining me dry, and yet the sheer force of this urge pushed you to acts that go against Rhodes Island’s ethical policies. The old me, or perhaps those in charge of ensuring his safety, saw this as too great a risk to my health, and so they prohibited all unnecessary contact between us. How much of that is true?”

“...All of it. If only I could isolate the compound that makes you smell so delicious- no, no, I shouldn’t think like that. I know I wouldn’t be able to contain myself.”

He smiled. “You’re doing a good job of it now, aren’t you?”

“I...” She forced herself to look at him. “Doctor, I think you should leave.”

“And I think I should stay. My first question remains - how do you feed from a person directly?”

Warfarin was silent for a moment before she started stamping her feet against the ground. “No, no, no, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening!”

“Warfarin.” His voice was authoritative but coaxing, as if he were trying to convince a child to relinquish a toy. “Warfarin, it’s okay. Just answer the question for me.”

“I would use my teeth to cut into somewhere on your body, preferably hairless, and lick and suck on the wound as it bleeds. As my name suggests, my saliva is a natural anticoagulant...Doctor, please go. This teasing is too much for me to handle.”

He rolled close enough to grab her hand. “It’s not teasing, Warfarin. I want to know what I’m signing up for.”

“Signing up?” Her eyes widened. “Doctor, have you not been listening?”

“You seem to have forgotten what I can do; if your actions become life-threatening, I am more than capable of removing the danger. I trust you to know both my limits and yours, though.”

Warfarin simply stared. “Why? What gives you such confidence in me?”

“It’s simple, really - I know your work.” He moved closer with each sentence. “I know how much your body will let you drain from me, and it’s not enough to be harmful.” Inches from her face at this point. “And most importantly, I find the idea of you feeding from me so attractive that I can’t force myself away.” Saying that, the Doctor went in for the kill, kissing her square on the lips.

She wasn’t just warm - she was feverishly hot. Rather than reciprocate, Warfarin pushed him away, their stools amplifying the force and leaving them on opposite sides of the office.

“I can’t.” She weakly asserted.

“Can’t or won’t?” He started rolling back towards her. “What’s stopping you? I’m willing, and we’d both enjoy it, so what keeps you wanting to hold back?”

Warfarin shook her head. “If I let the pleasure of feeding become entangled with romance, I’ll end up like the others of my kind - insatiable, relentless predators who commit unspeakable acts to keep their cold hearts feeling some kind of adrenaline rush.”

“You seem pretty warm to me.”

“Stop it! I’m serious!” She crossed her arms. “This is as much for your own good as it is mine.”

The Doctor glanced at the door and back to her. “You can’t simply use me as your sole meal provider?”

“I need to drink three liters of blood in a day to maintain normal functions. That would kill you.”

“What about if you synthesized artificial blood using mine as the model?” He smiled. “I know you could do that with the facilities on base.”

Warfarin sighed. “You are pushing far too much for this to happen for you to be in a healthy state of mind-”

“I’m not.”

“Huh?” She blinked. “You know you’re in an excited state, then?”

The Doctor, his usual uniform hanging from the door, wearing a red T-shirt, couldn’t hide anything from her at this point. “You’ve brought me to this excited state, Warfarin. Now that I’ve had a taste of you, I don’t want to stop.”

“Doctor...Now you understand, then.”

“Just- just one more kiss, please, that’s all I’m asking for.” He grabbed his head in his hands. “Just the one, and I promise, I’ll-”

Warfarin stood from her stool, growing agitated herself. “You feel it now, don’t you? The inexplicable desire, the primal imperative, the cravings. It’s unbearable, isn’t it?”

“Just...just one more...please...”

“I have been fighting the urge for months while you were in that clinic in Chernobog, forcing myself to stay here while your body was just lying there, hooked up to IVs and all sorts of life support.” She wrung her hands. “It would have been so easy, so so easy to just take what I wanted, but I kept my distance for your sake. You’ve kissed me before, you know.”

He shook his head. “Impossible, I’d remember something like this.”

“Through complete loss of identity to the point of having to relearn how to use a computer? I’m not surprised you forgot, considering how much you struggled the first and second times. The third was less coercive, but by then, they had you under lock and key...Now, you come to me, offering yourself on a silver platter, afflicted with the same curse of desire I’ve felt for years, and you expect me to relent so easily?”

“You don’t have to drink my blood, then,” he muttered, “just let me hold you, caress you, feel your heat against my skin...”

Warfarin smiled. “To think this is the reward for my patience. Doctor, I’m offering you one more chance to escape.”

“Escape what?!” The Doctor leapt to his feet, hands balled into fists. “Go back to my daily life a tortured soul? Hmm? Are you so sadistic that you want me to suffer for the harm another, more foolish personality in this body caused you? Could you be so cruel after the oaths you’ve taken? Could you?!”

“I could be...oh, who am I kidding.” She pounced, picking him up and tossing him onto the patient bed and following shortly thereafter.

The delight in his eyes was infectious. “Finally, you’ve come to your senses!”

“Oh, no, Doctor.” There was no mistaking the hungry stare now. “I’ve completely lost them. All thanks to you.”

Considering what happened that afternoon, the fact that the Doctor was able to walk out afterwards with nothing but a dull headache spoke to his resilience; the further reality that he left to carry Warfarin off to his room announced the breakdown that had already begun. This was a star-crossed love if ever there had been one...and somehow, for all the catastrophizing the two of them would do over the next week as they debated coming clean, things turned out alright. Kal’tsit was reluctant to revoke the restraining order, but after the Doctor’s reaction to this news was noticeably more dangerous to his health then the alternative, she assigned him a counselor and relented. Warfarin became his personal assistant, continuing her research from his office, and those who knew her said that she was substantially more satisfied with life. Somehow, they salvaged a happy ending from something so accursed...

This Doctor’s tale is a cautionary one - after all, most Sarkaz vampires are far less noble in their intentions and means.

[distinctivelibrarians]

First: I love that you're writing fic again, I really missed your work! Second: no idea if you're up for this/want to think about this, but in one of the Leverage episodes we see Eliot reading a book (idk which episode, just, it seemed both such an Eliot thing and NOT an Eliot thing that it just stuck with me) and I was wondering about your headcanons for the Leverage (and/or Librarians) team's favorite books/authors?

Thank you so much! You cannot believe how hard it made me smile when I saw this - it made my day so much better, especially since writing’s been so much of a struggle lately! I can’t promise I’m going to be steady (’cause let’s not lie to ourselves like that) but with prompt month coming up, I’m hoping to get some more out soon that I hope you’ll like!

As for books! Big, big, big disclaimer: I suck with authors! And books! I’ve read a lot. But for the life of me, I can tell you only about...a third of them from memory. And authors are a crapshoot whether or not I remember them, outside of my favorites. That being said! This is going to go more “personality towards reading”, hope that’s okay ^^’

While it doesn’t super matter, we see Eliot reading both the Art of War (I believe. I’d have to double check, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he was reading in the Lonely Hearts Job?) and a home magazine in the Fairy Godparents Job. So for Eliot, he’s...he’s a sponge. He likes everything, will read everything - if there’s some sort of ambient knowledge he can get from something, he’s gonna do it. And I kind of want to attribute it to both his personality and his experience. Like, we know he likes to talk to people (even if the show really only focuses on the women), we know he likes to connect with people - he listens, learns what they like, what they do, etc. So it makes sense that he’d kind of just absorb everything he could - could be a common quirk later on that he could talk about, could give him an in to start chatting up someone interesting, and all that. As for experience - “You never know when you’re going to need to fight an alien”. Dude likes to be prepared even for the impossible. Him picking up as much unconnected information as he can would have to bleed over into somewhat less immediately useful quirks. Like reading whatever magazine happens to be on the table at the moment.

Nate - okay so. I love Nate, I do. But he was that kid in your college philosophy class that read all the classics (the Old White Men ones) and one (1) book on intro to ethics, and would Not. Shut. Up. Then someone punched him in the face (I’m betting Maggie), and he figured out that that’s not how you make people tolerate you, let alone like you. I don’t think he ever really moved out of the classics, but I do think he started picking up modern interpretations of them, as well as art history books that he never quite got into but powered through anyway. You know his favorites though? Children’s books. Simple, sweet, always have a happy ending, and you know he was the one reading them to Sam every night before he got sick. And he’d complain and moan about it to Maggie, but Maggie would call it on him everytime, and of course Sam loved it, to the point where if Nate was at work still, Maggie and Sam would call him up, and Nate would recite one of the simpler ones from memory. He still has Dr. Seuss stuck in his head some nights.

Parker....Parker’s a little harder because I don’t think she’d like reading. But she’d also kind of be like Eliot in the ‘you never know, so might as well store the info away’. So while I don’t think she’d go out and pick up a book - unless the title was funky, or the cover was particularly eye-catching - I do think if you handed one to her, she’d read it, and read it probably scary fast, and retain all that info. No matter what it was on. Of course, that’s before Peggy! After Peggy, after having a ‘normal’ friend (anyone who goes after someone with a cast iron pan’s not normal, but hey, relative), who introduces her to things like book clubs, I think Parker would get a kick out of, not the books, but the people. And interacting with those people through the books. She’s already read the book two weeks in advance, and she wants to see how much chaos she can cause, while also enjoying figuring out how what she’s feeling compares with how others feel about it. For Parker I really don’t think she’d ever really be ‘in’ to books, but I can see her becoming attached to the community that can come with them.

Sophie. No one knows if Sophie’s read a book in her life. Sure, she can quote the classics. She can make you pretty damn sure she inspired one or two of them. And if she’s high class British, she has to have some repertoire in there, right? Who knows. She knows, but you never will. (Spoiler: she does read, and she reads a lot. What does she read? Surprisingly - not harlequin romances (at least, not all the time). Instead - really, really overdone crime thrillers and the like. It’s fun, you know, to dive into a world where everything’s dramatic, everything’s done for a purpose, and to know that both, she could do it better, and that sometimes, things really are as straightforward and simple as those books make them out to be.) She also has some very closely guarded copies of annotated Shakespeare. Annotated by her of course. Hardison has seen them once and he’s not to speak of them ever.

And on to Hardison. Dude’s smart. Dude’s scary smart. If Eliot’s a sponge, Hardison is...yeah, there’s no actual way to end that metaphor, but whatever, whatever level Eliot’s on, Hardison’s way past that, at an oblique angle to Parker. But, and he’s admitted this, his attention span swings between “needs five things at once” to “what is time and where did it go, look at this new skill I picked up in 72 straight hours”. That is...not conducive to reading books. Trust me on this. At the same time though!! We know he’s read Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings in canon. So what that tells me? He read avidly as a kid, as a teenager, and then...probably lost both the attention span to do it, outside of Extreme Focus, as well as the need. This is the kid that at school was reading 800 page novels every other day. This was the kid who’s backpack was too damn heavy, not because of textbooks, but because of the books he packed on top of them. You know the school librarian knew him by name. And you know Nana made damn sure he had access to the city library the second she figured it out. Probably got him nice sets of his favorite books that he still has, even if they’re not tattered and beaten, because he’s reread them so many times. This is the kid that read everything that had to do with sci-fi, magic, monsters, grand heroes and terrifying villains. This is the kid that bounced between comic books by the dozen, and books for college students and up like it was nothing. As for the need - why read it when you can live it?

[artificialqueens]

You're Giving Up Before You Start (Shalaska) - Sammy Indigo

A/N: For those who read my 10,000 word Sharon-Aquaria mother-daughter fic (She Says To Me, She’ll Always Be There), this is the requested Shalaska origin story. It’s just over 14,000 words of how they came to be, with a fair amount of Trixya, and a little dash of Pearlet. I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for the lovely feedback on my previous fics xxxxx

Summary: Sometimes life is hard, and sometimes it sucks, and sometimes Sharon feels like a terrible mother, and sometimes she thinks about how it’s going to be like this forever. Or maybe not. Not when Alaska is there. But Sharon can’t even care for a cactus. She doesn’t deserve her.

“It’ll be a huge order.” Trixie said, pacing in Sharon’s office. “Massive. There’s at least sixty tables, Katya says, and each table needs two centre pieces.”

“Why would a table need two centre pieces?” Sharon asked, looking back at the projections spread sheet she was working on. “Seems a bit frivolous, especially for a charity event.” Sharon blew sweaty bangs out of her eyes.

“Why are you being such a bitch today?” Trixie asked. “You’re gonna have to apologise to Farrah, you know? She’s just a kid.”

“An annoying kid.” Sharon muttered at her laptop.

“Still. A kid.” Trixie wandered over to the filing cabinet in the corner. “Think about if that was your Aquaria and someone spoke to her like that.”

“They’d be dead.” Sharon said without hesitation, and then stared up at Trixie in unveiled realisation. “Oh.” She drew out the syllable. “She’s just a kid. Someone’s kid.”

“Yeah.” Trixie said. “You’ll say sorry to her.”

It was hot day for October, and despite the open windows in her office, Sharon was still struggling with her heat-induced irritability. The air outside was unmoving, there was no breeze to even rustle the blinds, and she had only been provided with one shitty USB-powered fan to keep her from melting. Most of the staff at the florist understood it was safer to just avoid Sharon on days like this, but not all of Trixie’s staff were seasoned pros in dealing with Sharon’s moodiness. The poor high school kid, Farrah, who Trixie had recently hired to help hold down the fort on Saturdays, had come earlier in the day to collect her pay cheque and Sharon had made her cry. Not that it was necessarily Sharon’s fault, the kid was a bit of a cry-baby bitch on the best of days, but perhaps she could have chosen not to throw Farrah’s cheque directly into her face and tell her she should “use the money to buy a better personality” when the kid had commented on Sharon’s sweaty sheen. Not Sharon’s finest moment, she was big enough to admit. And maybe, she did feel a tiny bit guilty. Only a tiny bit, though.

“So tell me, again,” Sharon said, puling half of her hair back into a ratty ponytail, if only to relieve her from the stagnant heat for a moment, “why does a charity require this ridiculous amount of floral arrangements?”

Trixie briefly stopped her pacing to glare at Sharon. Sharon glared back. The florist’s shop floor was kept at a constant comfortable seventy degrees for the benefit of the customers, and the floral cool room at a frigid thirty-eight for the benefit of the flowers, but it was ninety-four degrees in the back of the goddamn building where the AC did not stretch, and Trixie had been in the offices just as much as Sharon, and her make-up hadn’t moved all damn day. Sharon made a mental note to ask her what setting spray she was using these days, when she wasn’t feeling so petulant.

“This is good for us.” Trixie said. “Don’t ruin it.”

“Having two centrepieces per table? How big are the fucking tables at this thing?”

“It’s a massive event, Katya says.” Trixie walked over to the cactus on Sharon’s bookshelf and wrinkled her nose at the browning edges. “How the fuck do you work for a florist and kill a cactus?” She muttered, shaking her head.

Sharon watched her as she inspected the plant, muttering something about Sharon’s incompetence. Trixie swore quietly when the cactus pricked her finger.

“Good job, Klaus.” Sharon said.

“You named your dead cactus, Klaus?” Trixie asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“Actually, my daughter named it…when it was alive.”

Trixie shook her head with a small smile, coming to stand in front of Sharon’s desk. “How in the fuck do you keep that poor child alive when you’ve somehow managed to kill a cactus?”

“I-,”

“Kill a cactus,” Trixie interrupted, “in a florist, filled with people who are plant experts?” Trixie shrugged. “It’s truly baffling, Shaz.”

“Don’t call me that.” Sharon said dangerously, and Trixie stuck her tongue out at her.

Sharon rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She looked over at the browning corpse of Klaus. “I still think whatever charity Katya’s planning this shit for, have a fucking nerve spending this much on fucking flowers.”

Trixie huffed. “You’re so negative.” She said. “Why do you have to be like this all the time? It wears me down!”

“I’m not negative. I’m realistic.” She argued, looking over the top of her laptop screen. “Sure it’s great for us that they want to spend an extortionate amount of money on flowers that will inevitably end up in the trash at the end of the night, but what about the money they’re spending on them? Couldn’t they give that to charity?”

Sharon watched Trixie cross to the window in the office, glance out into the empty alley for a fleeting moment, and then turn to walk back over to the door. “That’s not the point.”

“I feel like it is the point.”

“Listen,” Trixie said, moving to stand directly in front of Sharon’s desk, placing both her hands on the top, “I didn’t come in here to ask you for your opinion on this opportunity. I came in here to tell you about it because I was excited.” One of the feathers Trixie was wearing in her DIY Pinterest-style headband fell into her face and she swiped it away angrily. “I own this place.” She said, hands on her hips. “I worked fucking hard to get here, and you work for me.”

Sharon made a show of leaning back in her chair, taking a deep breath, and letting it out through her nose. She had worked for Trixie for just over three years, had started back when her business had been fairly new and struggling, and Sharon knew exactly the way to get under Trixie’s skin and push every button she had. Trixie was dying to butt in, to say something else, but she was holding her tongue, waiting for Sharon to respond just so she could argue with her again.

Shangela always said they were sisters separated at birth, not because of any physical similarities, but because of their love-hate, partnership-rivalry they had developed from day one of meeting each other. Sharon loved Trixie to death, but God, it was fucking fun to fight with her.

It was their permanent dynamic at this point.

The arguments usually developed as follows; Trixie had an idea. Trixie told Sharon. Sharon told her it was stupid. Trixie went through with said idea, anyway. And sometimes, it paid off and Sharon was wrong and left to endure days of ‘I told you so’sfrom Trixie. And sometimes, it didn’t pay off, and as the financial officer Sharon was left to pick up the pieces and make sure the business remained afloat. And as a friend, Sharon was left to pick up Trixie and assure her she wasn’t a failure, and that sometimes, shit just wasn’t meant to be.

“You know I’m not going to stop you.” Sharon said eventually, dismissing Trixie with a wave of her hand. Trixie opened her mouth to respond, but Sharon cut her off. “But I want to stand firm in the opinion that it is inherently immoral that a charity spend thousands of dollars on pointless decorations for an event in order to raise money for charity. It makes no sense.”

Trixie nodded. “I respect your opinion.” She said.

“But…?”

“But, I’m selling the damn charity one hundred and twenty centrepieces, anyway, bitch.”

There was no point arguing anymore. Sharon shrugged and Trixie did a stupid little victory dance that got ever so slightly more elaborate each time she did it. Thus far, the dance was well over thirty seconds and had more than one twirl. Sharon watched it all from behind her desk with a scowl.

“I can’t believe that Katya got you this order.” Sharon said as Trixie ended her dance. “Of all people, I thought she would be principled enough to see the ethical quandary of this.”

“Actually, I think it’s mostly down to the new woman she’s been working with. Katya says she’s a hard-ass for business. Knows what the fuck she’s doing.”

“She sounds terrible.”

Trixie smirked. “She sounds like you.”

Sharon blinked. “I’m not like that.” She said. “I’m nice.”

“You’re literally awful, and my high school weekend staff are all scared of you.”

“They shouldn’t all be so fucking dense, then.” Sharon said. “I mean how difficult is it for them to cash up a register correctly?” She sighed. “Morons.”

Trixie stared at her for a second. “Yeah, you’re right.” She said without feeling. “You’re a goddamn delight.”

“I hate you. I don’t know how Katya has put up with you for this long.”

“What can I say?” Trixie flipped blonde hair over her shoulder. “She loves her wifey.”

“Ew, gross, don’t say that.” Sharon threw a balled up post-it at Trixie who caught it and flicked it back. “You’re not married.” Sharon looked back at her computer. “You’re not even married to her. And the word ‘wifey’ is just disgusting, anyway.”

“Oh, shut up, you jaded lesbian.” Trixie grinned. She perched on the edge of the desk, displacing some of Sharon’s papers with her ass. “You’re just bitter because you haven’t known the love of a women for over two years.”

Sharon scoffed. “I had sex four days ago.”

“I didn’t say you were celibate.” Trixie ran her fingers over one of the feathers hanging from her headband. “I said you hadn’t known love. Getting laid by a stranger on the nights your kid is at sleepovers doesn’t count as love. I feel sorry for you.”

Sharon pulled some papers from underneath Trixie, purposely poking her hip with her spikey ring in the process. “Leave me alone with my spreadsheets and go play with your peonies.”

“Wrong season for peonies, Shaz.” Trixie shrugged.

“Don’t call me that.”

Trixie showed no indication she had even heard her. “I mean, Christ, you’ve worked here for years. You’d think you would have at least learned something about flowers. Even your kid knows more than you.”

“Don’t bring my child into this.” Sharon said. She made a show of clicking her mouse and marking some numbers on the papers rescued from below Trixie’s ass. “Now can you please go back to fucking around with plants, and leave me in peace?”

Trixie sighed heavily, and stood up from the desk. “Fine. But you’re going to see I’m right about this charity thing. I’m winning this argument.”

“What’s the argument?” Sharon muttered eyes on the laptop. “Morality versus money?” She looked up, smirking at Trixie’s irked expression.

Trixie flipped her off, walking to the office door. “Fuck you.”

“Fuck you, too.” Sharon called after her.

“Well fuck you, more.” Trixie argued back from the hallway.

“How about fuck you, most?” Sharon shouted, grinning.

Shangela’s voice came from the front of the store, loud and angry. “Y’all wanna shut up fighting like two thirteen year old girls?”

“She started it!” Trixie and Sharon yelled at the same moment.

Trixie’s face appeared back in the doorway, grinning like an idiot. “Jinx!” She scream-laughed. “Now you can’t talk!”

“Oh my Lord,” Shangela called, “give me the strength to continue working with these two children for another day. Halleloo.”

………………………………

“Farrah, my door has a window.” Sharon said, pulling it open and looking down at the kid. “I can see you standing there. You’ve been here for like five minutes now.”

“Sorry, Sharon.” Farrah squeaked.

Sharon blew some air out of her nose. “What do you want, kid?”

“Um, I just, I came by because, well, my cheque is, um, well, wrong, I think.” She stuttered.

“It’s not wrong.”

“Oh.” She looked down at the envelope in her hands. “I’m sure it’s too much. I didn’t work this many hours.”

“It’s not wrong.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go home, Farrah.” Sharon said, shutting the door. “Go on. Leave me alone, kid.”

…………………………….

On one occasion, in the early days of Sharon’s employment to Trixie Mattel, the latter had taken an order for some wedding arrangements from the mother of a bride, who was set to get married in a large church, with eight bridesmaids, eight groomsmen, and two flower girls. It was a ridiculous wedding, from what Sharon could remember, with a bride who had demanded yellow flowers and a mother who wanted purple, and they had felt the need to fight out their difference in opinion inside of Trixie’s shop on more than one occasion. Back then, Trixie had been a lot more timid and had done everything to make the women happy. It had been difficult for Sharon to witness, but she had felt as though it was not her place to step in when her boss was being walked all over by two snotty bitches in yoga leggings and Uggs. She was the money woman, and as long as the books were in the black, Sharon was doing her job.

The mother of the bride had ordered a lot of flowers, though, in the end. Purple. Trixie and Shangela had slaved for days over the fresh floral arrangements for the church pews. It had been before Trixie had hired Violet and Pearl as arrangers, and so only she and Shangela had spent hours of overtime creating the little basket bound bunches for the flower girls to hold, and the matching larger bouquets for the bridesmaids and bride. Shangela alone had created the buttonhole lilacs for all the groomsman. All of the hard work, the time, the undying effort from Trixie had been witnessed by Sharon for the first time since she had been hired. It was inspirational, and all of a sudden Sharon had realised just how a person as young as Trixie had managed to develop her own business; it was the passion. Sharon had felt a swell of pride for the woman. She had really begun to admire Trixie Mattel as a business owner.

And then she had been given the books, and Sharon had almost had an aneurysm.

Trixie had made a profit from the job that wasn’t even worth mentioning. All the hours, all the effort, and she had literally nothing to show for it. Not even enough to pay Shangela for her overtime. Sharon had been horrified. It had been the first time ever that Sharon had truly confronted Trixie about her business, and Trixie had broken down in front of her.

“I just wanted them to be happy.” She had said. “I kept saying I’d give them things cheaper because they were telling me about her grandfather dying, and about how times were hard, and how she had dreamed about this wedding since she was a kid and-,”

“Who the fuck cares, Trixie?” Sharon had interjected. “You need to be charging your customers for your skills, for your time, not based on how many dead relatives they have!”

From that day forward, Trixie had, at Sharon’s request, offloaded the responsibility of charges and payment for larger custom orders, over to Sharon. It was something that worked for both of them nicely. Trixie got to consult with the client about the pretty flowers and sparkly place settings, and Sharon got to be the hard-ass who dropped the bomb of the final bill. Violet called it their ‘good cop, bad cop’ act. They both loved their roles, and Sharon had no qualms in admitting that she was fucking good at her job.

This therefore meant, that Sharon had been assigned the responsibility of heading over to Katya’s offices, to discuss the final pricing for the metric fuck-tonne of centrepieces that Trixie had agreed to create. Which was fine, because a week later and it was still like working in the devil’s ass crack back at Trixie’s place, and she was certain Katya’s place of employment had air conditioning throughout.

Katya worked for an event-planning company that housed the top two floors of an office building in the centre of the city. The traffic could be a bitch, but Sharon was willing to overlook the extra twenty minutes in the car for the amazing view of the river from the office windows.

“Got any positions opening here?” Sharon asked Katya, leaning against her office window and angling her body just enough so the AC was blowing down her neck deliciously. She sipped at the coffee Katya had given her. “I could get used to this.”

Katya cackled. “And who would keep my lovely Trixie in check at her place of employment? Hmm?”

Sharon nodded, turning to face Katya sitting across the room. “You’re right. Without me, that place would dissolve into chaos.”

“And everyone would be much happier.”

“I told you, I apologised to Farrah and we’re good now.”

“She avoids you at all costs, you mean?”

“Same thing.”

Katya grinned. “How many kids have you made cry today?”

“Only one.” Sharon said with a smirk over her cup. “But it was my own kid, and it was because I told her she couldn’t wear fake lashes to school and she threw a fit.”

“Lashes?” Katya whistled and kicked herself over to Sharon in her wheeled desk chair. “How old is Aquaria, again?”

Sharon sighed. “Ten.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” She sipped more of her coffee and wrapped an arm around her stomach. “Although if you ask her, she will inform you that she will be eleven in less than four months.”

“Wow.” Katya spun in her chair. “Kids are growing up so fast these days. When I was ten, I hadn’t even discovered my vagina.”

Sharon rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, I’ve got ten year old who seems to be going on twenty four, so I’m excited to see how that progresses throughout her teenage years.”

“I sense sarcasm, Sharon.”

“Good.” Sharon said. “You were meant to.” She sat in the spare chair by Katya’s desk. “What time is this bitch meant to get here?”

“Alaska.” Katya said.

“Huh?”

“Her name is Alaska. And I told you, she’s just finishing up her meeting with Raven. She’ll be by soon.” She kicked Sharon in the shin. “Why are you so cranky?”

Sharon drank down the last of her coffee. “I haven’t eaten lunch, yet.”

“Hangry?”

“What?”

“Hangry.” Katya repeated. “It’s when you get angry because you’re hungry.”

Sharon blinked. “That is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard and whoever came up with it should throw themselves off the Golden Gate Bridge.”

“Sounds like,” Katya wheeled closer to Sharon and leaned towards her face, “something someone who was hangry, would say.”

“I’m going to actually kill you, Zamo.” Sharon said.

Katya laughed, flailing her limbs and kicking Sharon in the leg once more, in the process.

“I swear!” Sharon reached for Katya as the woman tried to wheel herself away. “I swear to God, Katya, one of the these days I’m actually going to choke you and watch the life leave your eyes!”

Katya left her chair and ran across the room as Sharon chased her. She pulled open the door, only to stop in her tracks at the sight of the person mid-knock on the other side. Sharon ran into the back of her and grunted.

“Um…” The woman slowly lowered her arm to her side. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes.” Katya said before Sharon could respond. “I was about to be brutally murdered.” She said it with a straight face and the women glanced behind her at Sharon, warily. Katya’s face lit up at her expression and she grinned manically. “This is my murderer, Sharon!”

“Oh.” The woman said. She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “Hi.” She dragged out the single syllable for far too long and Sharon tried her best to smile in a way that said ‘I’m happy to meet you’, rather than ‘I’m seconds away from punching someone and that someone might be you if I don’t eat a sandwich soon and you continue to speak in that irritating manner’.

“Hello.” Sharon said carefully, taking a step back from where she was still too close to Katya’s back and offering her hand. “I’m Sharon Needles.”

The woman glanced at Katya, and then back to Sharon’s hand, before taking it and giving her two firm shakes. “Alaska.” She said. “It’s a pleasure.” From the half bored, half faux-sweet tone of her voice, it seemed to Sharon that for Alaska, meeting Sharon was anything but ‘a pleasure’.

“So,” Sharon said, taking back her hand, and sticking it in her jeans’ pocket just for something to do, “Alaska, are you ready to discuss the prices of plants?” It was quite possibly the worst opening line Sharon had ever uttered, and judging by the baffled expression on both Katya and Alaska’s faces, they sensed it, too.

“I am.” Alaska said. She smoothed a hand over the lapel of her blazer. It matched her pencil skirt impeccably.

Sharon smoothed a hand down her Metallica tee-shirt. There was a bleach stain on the hem of it from when Aquaria had tried to help clean the kitchen countertops and simultaneously do laundry.

Alaska switched her briefcase to the other hand.

Sharon put Katya’s coffee cup on the desk and picked up her lever arch file.

Alaska dropped her gaze to Sharon’s holey converse.

“I have nice shoes.” Sharon said without any forethought, and then felt like jumping out of the window.

“I’m sorry?” Alaska asked, eyes meeting Sharon’s.

Sharon stared at her. “I was just saying,” She paused, looked over to Katya and her bemused expression, and then looked back to Alaska, “I don’t always look like this.” She said. “I didn’t dress up today. But I can.” Sharon opened her mouth and closed it again, before speaking once more. “I can look professional.”

“Congratulations.” Said Alaska.

Katya coughed through a laugh.

“Oh, so you’re a cunt?” Sharon gestured at Alaska.

Katya screamed.

Alaska narrowed her eyes. “Did you just call me a cunt?”

Sharon nodded. “I was just voicing my thoughts. Yes.”

“I’m sorry.” Katya said. “She’s very hangry.”

Alaska tightened her jaw and Sharon could see it in the line of her cheekbone.

Whether simply not noticing the tension in the room, or just choosing not to acknowledge it, both were just as likely, Katya clapped once and turned to Sharon and Alaska, both still glaring at one another. “Well, I’ll be going. Have a fun meeting, you two.”

“Wait.” Sharon grabbed Katya’s arm as she passed her. “I thought you were coming to this meeting, too? Isn’t this charity night your thing, also?”

Katya grabbed her bag and shook her head. “Nothing to do with me.” She said. “This is Alaska’s gig. I got a Halloween party to plan.”

“But Trixie said you got her the job?”

“I did.” Katya pushed past her to grab her phone.

Alaska held up a hand. “She gave me the florist recommendation.” She said.

“See.” Said Katya. “Now can you both kindly get the fuck out of my office? I have to go to Party City while Phi Phi’s still on shift if I want to get a discount.”

Katya ushered them out of the office, locking the door behind them. “Hey, Alaska?” She said, walking backwards away from them down the hall. “If you want to have any kind of civilised conversation with Sharon you’re going to have to take her to Coffee Bean or something because bitch needs a snack.”

The walk to the nearest coffee house was almost silent. It was a six minute walk, Sharon was counting, and Alaska said five words to her: “This place has good sandwiches,” as they approached a storefront.

Sharon had replied. “Sounds good.” And then they had ordered, sat down, received their food and drinks, and begun eating, all without saying much more to each other.

The sandwich was good. Sharon wanted to express this to Alaska and show her gratitude for suggesting the place, but felt there was something more pressing to address. She reluctantly put down the final third of sandwich she had yet to inhale on her plate, and took a drink of her soda to clear her mouth.

“I’m sorry I called you a cunt.” Sharon said.

Alaska looked up from her salad at her. “Thanks.”

“I don’t even know you.” She continued. “It was a mean thing to say, and I’m sorry, Alaska.”

“It’s okay.” For the first time since they had been introduced, Alaska smiled, straight teeth and showing gums. “I am a cunt. So, you weren’t wrong.”

“I see.” Sharon felt herself grinning back. “That’s cool.”

“It is?” Alaska had a piece of rocket on her lip. Sharon didn’t tell her.

Sharon nodded. “Yeah.” She laughed, and quickly stopped, catching herself at the unexpected show. “I may have been informed on several occasions that I, too, am a cunt.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Straight up bitch.” Sharon said.

Alaska snickered.

“Despicable human being.” Sharon grinned.

Alaska clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle the laughter.

“Not worthy of breathing the same air as the rest of common society.”

“That seems awfully harsh.” Alaska said from behind her hands. Her eyes glittered with mirth.

“Well,” Sharon shrugged, “that last one was from Katya.”

“Sounds like her.”

“Yeah.” Sharon smiled as she watched Alaska lower her hands. “She’s a wonderful friend.”

“I could tell you were close from the way you were threatening to kill her, earlier.”

“I’m actually closer with her girlfriend. You should see the way I speak to her.”

Alaska whistled. “If you’re this hostile with your friends, I’d hate to see what you’re like with your boyfriend.”

She was fishing. Sharon grinned. It was so obvious, and Alaska was smirking at her.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Sharon said. She took a mouthful of her soda.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. No guys have really peaked my interest, recently.”

Alaska ran a fingernail over the wood grain of the table. “I see.”

Sharon put down her glass. “Also, I’m a super gay.”

Alaska grinned. “Good.”

“Good?”

“Mm.” Alaska cocked an eyebrow at her. “Good.”

She was fucking flirting with Sharon. The hard-ass cunt was coming onto her. Maybe.

“Cool.” Sharon said, and then cringed. She probably hadn’t used the word ‘cool’ since she was twenty and it felt unnatural coming from her lips.

“Right.” Alaska cleared her throat, and looked down at her hands. “We should probably get to work. I need to be back in the office by three.”

“I could, um, walk you back to your office?”

Alaska blinked. “What?”

Sharon hadn’t flirted with anyone, or had anyone flirt with her, while she was sober, for years as far as she could recall. Not since she had broken up with her ex, and even then, any flirting between them had stopped months before they had actually called it quits.

A waitress collected their plates, and Sharon was feeling too introspective to even point out the fact that she wasn’t actually done with her food. Alaska was watching her curiously, pulling out a file from her briefcase. She set it down on the table and flipped through the neatly typed pages before landing on what appeared to be a print-out of Trixie’s website.

The piece of rocket fell from her lips and disappeared somewhere in her lap.

“I’ve looked at what you’re offering in terms of pricing for custom orders.” Alaska said. “But your website doesn’t seem to have any definitive prices.” She wasn’t smiling, and the glint in her eyes had been replaced with the hardened determination Sharon had been anticipating from the businesswoman.

It was unsettling how quickly she had switched.

“Okay.” Sharon said, unhelpfully.

“I was wondering if we could discuss options.”

“Okay.”

Alaska frowned at her. “Do you want me to just start throwing numbers at you, or are you going to give me a figure to negotiate with?”

Something about the way in which Alaska tapped her fingers against the plastic wallet on the file, brought Sharon out of her stupor, and she quickly fumbled to grab the ring binder settled by her feet under the table. She dropped it on the table with a thud, and Alaska’s expression remained stony.

“For the arrangements you’ve requested with Trixie,” Sharon said, flicking through the file, “our standard price would be…” She trailed off as she slowed her page-turning, eventually finding the correct one. “Would be one hundred dollars, per arrangement.”

“That’s unreasonable.” Alaska said.

“I haven’t finished.” Sharon muttered. “Christ.”

Alaska nodded. “Continue.”

“I shall.” She sighed through her nose. “So, one hundred dollars per centre piece, but we will offer a discount of five per cent on each arrangement, after the first twenty five.”

“That seems like an extremely small discount for such a hefty order.”

Sharon shrugged. “That’s our pricing.  We’re fantastic at what we do.” She said proudly. “Our pricing reflects that.”

“I’m not paying eleven thousand, five hundred and twenty five dollars for one hundred and twenty centre pieces.” Alaska said.

“Oh, she can do math.” Sharon mocked.

Alaska leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. “That’s robbery.”

“That’s business.” Sharon said. She leaned forward in her seat, excited to argue with the other woman. “I agree, it’s a fucking unreasonable amount for a goddamn charity to be spending on decorations but hey, it’s your client. You tell them, that.”

Alaska looked seething. She was gripping the sleeves of her blazer where it covered her upper arms. “It’s a huge event. It has to look classy.”

“And what’s classier than a bunch of white guys in Armani suits pretending to care about whales and polar bears, while signing of cheques for eleven thousand dollars of donated money to pay for flowers, for tables at an event that probably wont even raise enough money to cover the entire party, anyway?”

Sharon punctuated her rant by picking up her glass and attempting to take a long victory sip. There was no soda left, so she settled with sucking one of the melting ice cubes into her mouth and crunching down on it. Alaska cringed.

“Trees.” Alaska said, eyeing Sharon’s mouth.

Sharon crunched the ice cube again. “Huh?”

“Trees.” Alaska repeated. She moved her gaze to Sharon’s eyes. “The charity. It’s not for ‘whales and polar bears’. It’s for trees.”

“Trees?” Sharon swallowed her ice.

“Yeah. They’re raising money for afforestation.”

“Fuck all the way off.” Sharon breathed, and Alaska’s lips twitched. “You’re shitting me.”

Alaska smirked. “I’m not.”

Sharon dropped her head to the table. It shook the glasses, and she heard a sound she thought might have been Alaska snorting a laugh. She hoped it was.

“The world is a terrible place, Alaska.” Sharon said into her file. She lifted her head and the paper inside of the file stuck to her forehead for a moment before falling back down. It had a greasy mark on it. Alaska was smiling again. “The people you are organising this fucking event for are garbage humans.”

“Oh, I know.” Alaska said.

“They’re willing to spend thousands of dollars on plants to decorate a night dedicated to planting trees.”

“Yeah, it makes entirely no sense.” Alaska agreed. “But they’re paying us a lot of money, and I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Tell me, Alaska.” Sharon said with a genuine smile. “What’s this reputation?”

Alaska leaned forward in her chair, beckoned Sharon closer with the crook of her finger. Her nail polish was black, just like Sharon’s, but manicured to perfection. Sharon scooted forward, face so close to Alaska’s that she could probably lick her if she had a slightly longer tongue. The thought was exceptionally weird, even for her, and Sharon berated herself with a pinch to her palm.

Alaska grinned and dropped her voice to a whisper. “I’m a fucking lesbian.” She said. “And I get shit done. And I get what I want. And I don’t let anyone walk all over me.”

“I get it.” Sharon said. “You’re a straight up cunt.”

“I’m a straight up cunt.” Alaska leaned back. “I’m not paying eleven thousand dollars for flowers.”

Sharon wanted to jump her. “Negotiate with me.”

“Is this you asking me out?”

“Is this you asking me to ask you out?”

“Ten thousand even and we put your business cards in the guest gift bags.”

“Fifteen thousand, and you never mention my business was associated with that atrocity of a charity.”

Alaska cocked her head. “How are we going up in price?”

“Plants for plants, Alaska.”

“Ten thousand.”

“Eleven fifty.”

“Ten.”

“Eleven.”

“Ten thousand and I don’t spread the rumour that I made you cry.”

Sharon narrowed her eyes. “That’s slander. No one would believe you.”

“You want to test the theory?”

“Straight up cunt.”

Alaska beamed. “Straight up cunt. We got a deal?” She held out her hand.

Sharon considered her. She took a long moment to run the numbers through her head, adding up the profit margins in her mind as if she were using a spreadsheet on her laptop.

“If I agree to an even ten.” Sharon said slowly. “I would hope that you will keep our business in your mind as a favourable asset for future projects?”

“Of course.” Alaska said. “I’d certainly look forward to working with you more in the future, Miss Needles.”

Sharon shook her hand. “And I, you, Miss…”

Alaska ended their handshake, but kept her hand in Sharon’s. “Thunder. Alaska Thunder.”

Sharon laughed. “Thunder? Fuck, that’s a stupid last name.”

“Sure, you’re one to talk, Sharon Needles.” She squeezed Sharon’s fingers.

“I have no idea what you mean, Lasky.”

………………………….

“Violet?”

Violet looked up from the magazine she was reading on the counter at the front of the store, at the sound of her name.

“I’m on my break.” She said, nodding to the magazine.

Sharon smirked. “No, you’re not. And don’t defend yourself to me. I’m not your boss.”

“Yeah, but you hand out the cheques.” Violet turned and leaned on the counter. “What do you want?”

“A favour.”

“Try me.”

Sharon took a position leaning against the counter next to her. “I need you to watch Aquaria on Thursday.”

“Thursday? Doesn’t she have school?”

“Thursday night.” Sharon said. “And take her to school Friday.”

Violet raised an eyebrow. “You got a booty call?”

“That phrase is disgusting. Please, stop.”

Violet laughed. “So you do have a booty call?”

“I’m meeting a friend. She comes to town like twice a year with work, and we take advantage of that.”

Violet was smiling. “I want to be just like you when I grow up.” She grinned. “You’re nasty.”

Sharon rolled her eyes. “Can you babysit for me or not?”

“Sure.” Violet shrugged. “Pearl’s doing some stupid dog class with Honey, but we’ll come pick Aquaria up after.”

“It’s not stupid.” Pearl shouted from the floral cold room. “It’s agility training. And it’s awesome.”

“Right.” Violet shook her head, dropping her voice. “The dog can’t walk down the street without being distracted by a pigeon. You can imagine what it looks like trying to get her to jump through hoops.”

Sharon smiled. “Thank you, Vi. I owe you one. And Pearl.”

“Don’t worry about it. I love watching Aquaria. She’s fun, and she likes to listen to my lectures on the benefit’s of Rigilene versus Tripleflex in corsets. Most people don’t appreciate a good discussion on boning.”

“Please stop teaching my daughter about corsets. She’s ten.” Sharon turned to go back to her office. “Seriously, though, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Have fun with your slam piece.”

“You’re disgusting.”

Violet just grinned and waved.

………………………………….

“Thanks for watching Aquaria last night.” Sharon said.

Pearl smiled. “No problem. We had fun. How was your night?”

“It was alright.” Sharon shrugged.

“Just alright?”

“It scratched an itch.” She said. “And that’s all I was looking for.”

Violet walked around them to ring up a customer, pausing to kiss Pearl on the cheek as she passed. Pearl blushed.

“You two are gross.” Sharon said.

“You’re just jealous.”

“Whatever.”

……………………………………….

“Are you on the fucking phone to Alaska, again?” Trixie didn’t seem to be in the least bit concerned about Alaska hearing her via Sharon’s phone. “Jesus Christ, Shaz. Just fuck her already so you can get back to work.” She stormed out of Sharon’s office, pink kaftan sweeping behind her in an elegant punctuation to her exit.

“Shaz?” Alaska asked, and Sharon could hear the laughter beginning to bubble from her.

“Don’t.” She threatened. “Don’t call me that.”

“Sure thing, Shaz.” Alaska laughed.

“I hate you.”

Trixie poked her head back through the door. “Get off the fucking phone.”  She glared at Sharon until Shangela called her from the front of the store.

“Pearl’s injured, again.” Shangela shouted. “Not ‘emergency room’ injured. But like ‘there’s blood in the chrysanthemums’ injured.”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “How does she manage to injure herself on flowers?” She asked rhetorically.

“I need a Band-Aid and a shot of Fireball, and then I’ll be fine.” Pearl’s voice carried through the building.

Trixie gave Sharon one last glare and turned again to leave her alone with her phone call.

“Sounds like it’s all happening over there.” Alaska said.

“They’re all incompetent, is what is happening.”

Sharon and Alaska’s phone calls were mostly professional, although the beginning and end of their conversations tended to be filled with light flirting and pleasant chitchat about their day-to-day lives. Since their first meeting, it had been a solid three weeks of back and forth calls and emails regarding the finer details of Alaska’s order, and the payment options Sharon was willing to offer on behalf of the business. The calls were tedious, and made all the more boring by the frequent addition of various college interns on Alaska’s end, hoping to gain some insight into the world of business. Sharon fucking hated those calls. They meant she had to act professional and pretend she wasn’t seconds away from making death threats.

“Well, you don’t have to be there much longer, right? It’s Friday.” Alaska said. “Got any plans for the weekend?”

Today, it was just the two of them on the call. The two of them, and occasionally Trixie screeching at Sharon to get off the phone, but it was still nice to have a mostly private conversation with Alaska.

“Yeah.” Sharon said. “Fifty more minutes and I’m out of here.” She spun around in her chair to signify her upcoming freedom to Klaus the dead cactus. “Going to go home and eat cheese and drink wine in my pyjamas.”

Alaska snorted a laugh. “Isn’t your daughter at a slumber party?”

“Yeah. Your point?”

“You’re child-free for a night. Go wild.”

Sharon nodded. “You’re right, Lask.” She slapped a hand on her desk. “I’m going to eat cheese and drink wine, naked.”

“Not what I meant, but live your life, I guess.”

“Then what did you mean? Come on, apparently I’m old and boring according to my ten year old, so give me young and fresh ideas.”

“I’m only two years younger than you.”

“But you’re still in your twenties.” Sharon stressed. She rubbed a smudge from one of the photographs of Aquaria she had stuck to her desk organiser. “That makes a hell of a difference. As soon as your turn thirty, you might as well be dead.”

“Sharon!”

“It’s true.” She shrugged. “Thirty is the new ‘dead’.”

Alaska sighed. “Remember when you said you had trouble making friends as an adult, this is why.”

“Noted.”

“I just thought you would be out doing cool single-mom things.” Alaska said, enthusiastically.

“Such as?”

“I don’t know, like going to strip clubs, or going to swingers parties.”

Sharon frowned at Klaus. “Is this what you think single mothers do?”

“It’s what my mom did.” There was a pause. “Okay, so she didn’t necessarily go swinging, but she ran a strip club.”

Sharon paused. “Really? That’s kind of awesome of your mom.”

“I know.” Alaska proclaimed, proudly. “She’s awesome. Still runs it now, in LA.”

“Well, then.” Sharon said, stretching an arm over her head. “Maybe I’ll go see some strippers. You know, and think about your mom.”

“Please don’t go and see strippers and think about my mom.” Alaska’s voice was void of emotion. “Just, please don’t do that.”

“Then what do you suggest I do?”

“Do whatever you want. Just don’t think about my mom.”

Sharon smiled. She scratched at her scalp and dropped her voice. “And who should I think about?”

Alaska breathed heavily enough that it was clearly distinguishable on the phone. “Anyone you want.”

“Oh.” It wasn’t the smoothest reply she perhaps could have mustered, but Sharon was frankly amazed she had managed to actually say anything in reply to Alaska. “Do, um, do you have plans for the weekend?”

Alaska was quiet for several seconds.

Sharon held her breath and didn’t know why.

“My friend is performing tonight.”  She said, casually. “I was going to go and watch her.”

“That sounds like fun.” Sharon said. She put her feet up on her desk and leaned back in her chair in an attempt to look as casual as Alaska sounded.

“Yeah, it should be. Might be a bit lonely, though.”

The desk chair moved backwards of it’s own accord and Sharon almost dropped her phone, fumbling to press it back to her ear. “Why is that?”

“Well, she’s performing.” Alaska said slowly. “And I’ll be watching, but I’ll be all on my own.”

“You don’t have anyone to go with you?”

Alaska sighed. “I had lots of friends in the city when I lived here in college, but I only moved back a couple of months ago.” She said. “I don’t know a lot of people, anymore.”

“Like I said, it’s hard making friends as an adult.”

“Yeah it is.” She sighed again, so dramatically that it made Sharon smirk.

“Well,” Sharon said, “you know you’ve made one friend here.”

“You’re right.” she said, and Sharon beamed. “I guess I could ask Katya.”

“Katya?” Sharon kicked away from the desk and the chair spun and hit the back wall.

Alaska laughed. “You don’t think I should ask Katya? You have a better suggestion, Shaz?”

“I can come.” Sharon said.

“Oh, I would have asked,” Alaska teased, “but I just wasn’t sure it was really your scene.” She giggled. “You know, with you being thirty and all. It’s more of a place for people in their twenties.”

Sharon was grinning. She was grinning, and she was spinning around in the fucking desk chair because Alaska was fully being a little shit.

“Fuck all the way, off.” She said. “You deserve to get eaten by bobcat, you whore.”

Alaska laughed again, loud and obnoxious. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes, Alaska, I’d love to join you.”

“Whatever.” Sharon bit her bottom lip. “Get fucked.”

“Not on the first date. I’m a lady.”

………………………………

“When you said we were going to see your friend perform, I kind of assumed you meant singing.” Sharon said.

The person on stage strutted to the edge in time with the beat of the music, leaned over to take a five-dollar bill from a patron’s outstretched hand, and promptly licked the side of his face. She grinned and he offered her another five.

“Well, you didn’t assume totally wrong.” Alaska said. Sharon looked over at her, eyes roaming over her cheek where the contour wasn’t quite blended completely. “Sometimes she sings.” Alaska nodded towards the stage.

Sharon followed her gaze. The woman was humping the stage with an enthusiasm and skill that Sharon admired. It was hot.

“But mostly,” Alaska continued, “Willam does that.”

Alaska’s friend was very hot. Sharon was also pretty sure Alaska’s friend had a dick and was the same guy who sold her coffee at the place around the corner from Trixie’s florist. She liked him. Good for Willam.

“She’s very good.” Sharon said.

“Oh, she is.” Alaska agreed, brows rising as the woman pulled money out of her bra and threw it into the audience. “And she knows it.”

The bar they were in was loud. On meeting Alaska outside, she had grabbed Sharon’s hand and led her inside, towards the back of the establishment. They were close to the bar, which Sharon thought was just lovely, but slightly secluded from the drunken stupor that directly surrounded the stage. Alaska seemed to know the place well, darting out of their little table-booth on the raised floor at the back, to get them both drinks. She was only gone a few minutes, despite the massive crowds around the bar.

From their table, Sharon had an almost perfect view of the stage. The right hand side was blocked by a group of kids who were probably in their twenties, but who Sharon had decided were too young to even be a valuable part of society. One of them was wearing a smart watch.

In between sipping on the vodka sodas Alaska had bought for them, and making small talk about the various people on the tables surrounding them, Alaska had informed Sharon that she frequented the bar twice a month or so at the request of her friend, who performed there several times a week.

“She asks me to come and see her when she’s really proud of a routine and she wants to show off.” Alaska had said.

On stage, Willam whipped her hair into the face of a man wearing sunglasses. She kissed both of the lenses. He offered her money.

“She’s talented.” Sharon said.

Alaska was watching her friend with an ample amount of interest. Sharon was trying, and it wasn’t like Willam wasn’t interesting enough to watch, but there was something more compelling in the view of Alaska. Even in her own mind, Sharon was creeped out at the thought. She was thirty years old, in a strip club, that was also maybe a gay bar, and also perhaps a brothel, and she was ignoring the stage act in favour of slyly watching the woman next to her. Who she was maybe on a date with, but was also maybe just out with as a friend. The music was loud, Sharon felt old, and it was all very confusing.

Alaska was wearing jeans with rips across the legs all the way to the top of her thighs. She had a tattoo and Sharon was trying not to stare at the pale skin through the splits, trying to work out what it was.

“I like your shoes.” Alaska was still watching the stage. Her mascara was clumping together at the edge of her lashes. Sharon wanted to pick at it.

“Thanks.” Sharon said. “They’re not new.”

Alaska smiled, eyes still on her friend. “I guessed.”

She was wearing heels. Sharon had made an effort. Had spend far too long asking herself if she was dressed too casual in the skinny leather pants that made her legs sweat, and the band tee she had once upon a time chopped the arms off and cut a ‘v’ in to show off her cleavage. The compromise had come from Aquaria, who had, in an attempt to get her mom to take her to her friend’s house quicker, suggested she wear some heels. Sharon had taken her ten-year-old’s advice begrudgingly (she was ten, she shouldn’t know the difference between a corset heel and platform sling back), and had chosen to throw on an old pair of black pumps. The toes were scuffed, but they had been worn in enough that they were comfortable. Sharon had thrown up while wearing them twice. They were seasoned.

“Do all the shoes you own have holes in them?”

“Well, duh.” Sharon said. “How else would I get my feet in them?”

Alaska tilted her head slightly to look at Sharon. One of her eyebrows was cocked cartoonishly. “How are you a even real person?”

Sharon didn’t reply. She thought about kissing Alaska, but then the crowd gasped collectively and both of their attentions were drawn to the woman on stage. Alaska had her hand on Sharon’s forearm and Sharon didn’t know why but liked it very much.

“Oh.” Sharon said. Alaska’s friend was, very professionally, doing a live demonstration of fisting a young man wearing an orange harness.

Alaska squeezed her arm. “Would you believe me if I told you this is a regular part of the show?”

The man with the hand in his butt was collecting tips from nearby spectators.

“Actually, I would.”

Alaska turned fully to Sharon, then. She smiled. Sharon wanted to hold Alaska’s hand, but the other woman beat her to it. “I think we’re friends now.” They could have been shaking hands in a business meeting.

But they weren’t.

Sharon lifted Alaska’s hand to her mouth and kissed her knuckles. “Good.”

………………………….

Alaska invited Sharon to lunch four times in three weeks.

And then Sharon asked Alaska to lunch twice after that.

It became an unspoken regular arrangement to meet for lunch twice a week. If they couldn’t make lunch, Sharon dropped Aquaria with Jinkx for a few hours, and instead they had dinner.

They held hands on three occasions. But once Alaska was leading Sharon through a crowded part of town to a café she liked.

Once Alaska kissed Sharon on the cheek. But then she thanked her for being a good friend.

…………………………..

Sharon went to Alaska’s apartment for the first time, six weeks after they had first met. She went again two weeks after that. Both times they watched a movie, ate take out, and cuddled on the couch.

They never kissed.

……………………………

Three months after they met, Sharon went into the phone store and asked for a different monthly plan. Three hundred minutes and five hundred texts per month was suddenly not enough.

Sharon loved hearing about Alaska’s day. She would kiss Aquaria goodnight at eight thirty, and Alaska would call an hour later, and the routine would have been scary if Alaska hadn’t started referring to Sharon as her ‘best friend’ to the people they met at the bar when they went to see Willam perform.

One night at the bar, Alaska wore a short skirt even though it was fucking cold out. She let Sharon sit all night with her hand on her thigh, rubbing her thumb over the pretty illustration of some grey scale flowers tattooed onto her leg. Sharon didn’t know what kind of flower they were and she didn’t ask.

They went back to Alaska’s apartment and slept in the same bed, as friends.

……………………………

“Your stupid dog is under my desk, again.” Sharon said when Pearl and Violet entered her office to get their pay slips.

“Sorry.” Pearl whistled and Honey extracted herself from around Sharon’s feet to trot over to her. “Were you bothering Sharon?” She petted the dog.

“Yes.” Sharon said. “Stupid mutt.” She held out their envelopes. “Here. Take these so I can go home.”

Violet grabbed, them, passing one to Pearl. “I’ve been making some costumes for Farrah’s high school play.” She said, using a long nail to slice through the envelope. “I was thinking Aquaria would like to see them next time she comes over. You have any booty calls coming up?”

“We haven’t had a real sleepover with her in months.” Pearl commented. “You getting too old to hump and dump?”

Sharon glared at her. “I just haven’t been in the mood for any pointless one night stands.”

“Plus,” Violet added, “she’s too busy trying to get in Alaska’s pants.”

“Shut up.”

………………………………….

Sharon had introduced Alaska to Aquaria at her daughter’s birthday party.

February. Four months after they met.

Aquaria had hugged Alaska and told her she was “gorgeous”. Alaska had blushed and given Aquaria a gift in a purple sparkly gift bag. Sharon had told her not to buy her anything but that suggestion had gone by the wayside. The present was a thick, lined notebook with lilac pages and a purple furry cover. Alaska had included a matching pencil case and filled it with metallic gel pens and scented markers. For the remainder of her party, Aquaria had carried the notebook around under her arm, with a gold gel pen in the rings of the binding, occasionally removing the pen to write something “poignant” that she wanted to “remember forever.”

“How does she even know what ‘poignant’ means?” Sharon had mumbled to Alaska as she had watched Aquaria run off with her friends. “I’m not even sure that I really know what it means.”

“She seems like a really smart kid.” Alaska had stood with her side leaning on Sharon, nudging her with her elbow. “She obviously didn’t get that from you.”

Sharon had rolled her eyes, fondly. Alaska had linked her arm with hers. They had eaten ice cream and driven back to Sharon’s house in the same car. Aquaria fell asleep in the back seat with a butterfly painted on her face and the fluffy notebook in her lap.

……………………………….

Trixie poked her head into Sharon’s office without knocking. “So you’re fucking Alaska, now?”

Sharon looked up from her computer, pushing her glasses onto her head. “No.”

“Kat says you’re fucking Alaska.” Trixie was leaning against the doorframe, arms folded under her boobs. She had dirt on her knuckles, although her white cardigan remained pristine.

“Kat doesn’t know shit.” Sharon said. She pushed her glasses back down onto her nose. “She sees things that aren’t there.”

“You guys go to that weird bar, though. Like all the time.” Trixie said.

“Like every few weeks.” She muttered.

“And Katya says you’re always going for lunch with her. Talking on the phone with her. Inviting her over to your house.”

Sharon rolled her eyes and went back to her laptop. “We’re friends.” She said. “I can have friends.”

“Sure you can.” Trixie shrugged. “You just don’t seem the type to make a friend. It’s been like six months. You don’t keep friends for that long.”

Sharon glared at her. “I can make friends.”

“Name five friends you’ve made who you still talk to, regularly.”

“You? And Katya? Shangela? Jinkx?” Sharon counted on her fingers.

“Four.”

“And,” she looked around the room for inspiration, eyes landing on Klaus’ rotted husk.

“Not the dead cactus.” Trixie said, giving him a disgusted squint.

From the floral cold room Violet screamed at Pearl. “Get that fucking thing away from me!”

“It’s just a spider.” Pearl laughed back.

There was a scream and the sound of running footsteps through the hall. Trixie looked up at the ceiling and pinched her nose.

“Pearl and Violet.” Sharon said. “There, I gave you a bonus one. Six friends. I’m friendly.”

Trixie shook her head in exasperation, folding her arms again. “First of all, I don’t count. I’m your boss and it took me eight months to get you to go to lunch with me. Katya is your friend by proximity, because she comes with me.”

“You’re a package deal. Right.”

“I’m like ninety-eight per cent sure you’ve never even spoken to Shangela outside of work before.” Trixie continued. “She genuinely only puts up with you because you handle her wages each month.”

Sharon lifted a hand to begin to argue, but Trixie powered ahead.

“And when was the last time you spoke to Violet or Pearl outside of this office?”

Sharon bristled. “I was texting Violet just the other day.” She defended. “And I spoke to Pearl at the front of store just this morning. You saw.”

“And were both of those conversations regarding them babysitting for you?” At Sharon’s lack of response, Trixie smiled. “See? You’re just not the type to go out of your way to make a friend.”

It was difficult to argue with Trixie’s logic this time, no matter how much she wanted to. “What about Jinkx?” She asked in a last attempt to prove her wrong.

Trixie shrugged. “So maybe Jinkx is the exception. Did you act friendly to secure that friendship?”

“No, actually.” She said. “I was pregnant and homeless and she felt sorry for me.”

“Oh. But you became friends eventually.”

“Yeah.” Sharon nodded. “She mostly pursued the friendship though. I mostly told her to go to hell while I ate her food and lived in her living room.” She squinted as she recalled. “She was far too chirpy back then. I wasn’t into it.”

“Do you see my point?”

“I see your point.” Sharon agreed. “But that doesn’t mean Alaska’s not my friend. I like spending time with her.”

“So you’re dating her?”

“No.”

“So just fucking?”

“No.”

Trixie huffed. “Then what?”

“Then nothing. God, Trixie, can’t you just shut the fuck up for once?”

“Touchy.”

“Fuck off.”

“You should get laid. You’re too tense.”

Sharon threw a pen at her with the company logo printed on. “Get out and leave me alone.”

…………………………..

Sharon was convinced she had an actual pair of sneakers appropriate for exercising in, somewhere in the bottom of her closet. Aquaria was convinced Sharon had thrown them into the charity bin at the supermarket after she tried the gym that one time two and half years ago, and cried in the car because everything hurt.

Alaska was on a health kick. That apparently meant Sharon had to go on a hike with her.

“Is Alaska your girlfriend, Mom?”

Sharon turned from her task of rummaging through the shit on the floor of her closet to look at Aquaria.

“Is she my girlfriend?”

Aquaria nodded. “Yeah.”

The kid was sitting cross-legged in the centre of Sharon’s bed, running a hairbrush through a Barbie’s hair. The brush was Aquaria’s own and she was brutally smacking the doll in the face with it each time she pulled it through the hair. Sharon would feel sorry for it, but the feminist lesbian in her secretly enjoyed the fact that Aquaria wasn’t usually overly fond of the dolls. Recently, though, she had taken to setting the few she owned on their coffee table and callously critiquing their fashion choices, before making her own clothes from construction paper.

The kid was watching her with wide eyes, waiting for Sharon to respond. Aquaria blinked and cocked her head to the side, lifting her chin. She had blue eye shadow from Claire’s smeared across her eyelids.

“You’re too young for all that crap on your face.”

“I’m eleven.” Aquaria said, still holding the doll. “I’m a young adult. That’s the section I go to in Barnes and Noble.”

Sharon stood up and crossed to sit on the bed next to her. “Come here.” She muttered, and licked her thumb. Aquaria started to squeal and claw herself across the bed and Sharon cackled and tried to rub the make-up off Aquaria’s face.

“Get off!” Aquaria was laughing, batting her hands at Sharon. “I don’t want your spit on me.”

Sharon pinned her to the bed. “I’m your mommy.” She kissed her cheek sloppily, putting as much spit into it as she could. “You’re my baby. We have the same spit.”

Aquaria pretended to gag. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Sharon blew a raspberry on Aquaria’s belly and left dark lipstick marks around her belly button. Aquaria launched herself at Sharon, discarding the Barbie and hairbrush on the side of the bed, to tackle her onto the pillows. Sharon let her push her back and sit on her stomach to tickle her sides.

“No, no, stop!” Sharon shrieked. She dramatically jumped at every one of Aquaria’s tickles to make her laugh. “You’re so mean.”

“No.” Aquaria said, breathing heavily as she grinned at Sharon. She stopped her attack, but kept her hands on Sharon’s sides. “You’re the mean one.” She giggled. “Mama. Say something mean to me.”

“You look like a smurf.” Sharon told her.

Aquaria smiled. “How do you know that’s not what I’m going for?”

“Well, you got me there.”

“Yeah I did, huh?” The kid looked so goddamn proud of herself. “Say something so mean to me, that I’ll die.”

“Are you sure?” Sharon humoured her. “Dying means you won’t be able to go and hang out with Violet, tomorrow. She’s got new dresses, I’ve heard.”

Aquaria bit her lip. “I’m sure.”

“Sure, sure?”

She smiled and leaned forward, rubbing her nose against Sharon’s “Sure, sure.”

“Okay then.” Sharon held her close and whispered. “This is going to be so mean, you’re literally going to start bleeding from your ears, and your eyeballs are going to pop out of your skull.”

Aquaria laughed.

“And your brain is going to melt and drip out of your nose.”

“Wow.”

“Are you ready?

“Yeah.”

Sharon took one long dramatic breath in. “Aquaria Needles,” she said slowly, pulling her knees up to hold the kid close, “you look just like your mommy.”

The kid screamed and put her hands over her head. “My brain is dripping from my nose.” She shouted. “That was a horrible thing to say.”

“You asked for mean, I gave you mean.” Sharon bear-hugged her daughter.

Aquaria stopped fighting and instead giggled breathlessly as she lay down over Sharon’s chest, cheek pressed to one of her boobs. For a second, Sharon thought she was going to suck her thumb like when she was younger, but then Aquaria moved her hand away from her face to hold the strap on Sharon’s tank top. She brushed Aquaria’s hair out of her eyes and kissed the top of her head.

“That wasn’t really mean, Mom.” Aquaria said quietly. “I want to look like you, anyways.”

“Are you sure?” Sharon asked, still petting her hair. “I’m old, you know.”

“Well I don’t want to look like you now.” She rolled her eyes. “But when I’m fifty-seven I want to look as good as you do.”

“I’m thirty-one you little creep.”

Aquaria laughed. “I’m just kidding.” She looked up at Sharon through her lashes. “I think you’re stunning, Mama.”

“Stunning?” Sharon smiled at her.

“That’s what Alaska called you.” She said. “When she put the lipstick on you the other day.”

The three of them had gone to the mall together. Aquaria needed new shoes, Alaska wanted new shoes, and Sharon spent the whole day feeling warm and happy as she watched her daughter hold Alaska’s hand around all of the stores. She wouldn’t hold Sharon’s, she was ‘too old to hold hands with her mom’, but Alaska was apparently allowed the privilege. They had ended the day with forty-five minutes in Sephora. Aquaria had been in her element, and apparently so had Alaska as she used every available tester to make up Sharon’s face.

“Stunning means beautiful.” Aquaria said, still watching Sharon. “Alaska thinks you’re beautiful.”

“I know.”

“Do you think that Alaska is beautiful?”

Sharon nodded.

Aquaria reached behind her and groped the bed until the Barbie doll fell into her hand. “I like this one because she looks like Alaska.”

The doll was a generic Barbie; long straight blonde hair, skinny legs, massive tits, elongated neck, and tiny waist.

“No,” Sharon said into the top of Aquaria’s head, “Alaska’s a lot more beautiful that that.”

Aquaria nodded. “She’s stunning.”

“She is.”

The kid moved so that she was lying on her stomach, directly on top of Sharon. She wiggled to get comfortable, and Sharon got an elbow to the ribs. Aquaria rested her chin on her hands on top of Sharon’s chest, and looked her in the eye.

“Are you avoiding my question on purpose?” She asked.

“And what question would that be?”

“I asked if Alaska was your girlfriend.” Aquaria said. “And then you called me a smurf.”

Sharon kissed her nose. “My baby smurf.”

“Mom.”

“Right, I’m sorry.” She said. Sharon laced her hands over Aquaria’s back. “I’m not avoiding your question.”

“So, then what’s the answer?”

“No.” Sharon said. “Alaska isn’t my girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Aquaria frowned. “But you do girlfriend things with her.”

“What ‘girlfriend things’?”

Aquaria scrunched her nose. “You go on dates places. And you have sleepovers. And you think she’s beautiful.”

“You’re right.”

“Then why isn’t Alaska your girlfriend?” She blinked twice. “I don’t mind, you know. I love Alaska, too.”

Too.

Her little face was so fucking cute Sharon wanted to punch something. Instead she leaned down and kissed Aquaria’s cheek.

“I love you, you know.” Sharon said. She kissed Aquaria, again. “I love you more than I love anything in the world.”

“And I love you more than anything else.” Aquaria smiled. “I’m going to love you more than anything else, forever.”

“Oh, that’s not true.” Sharon tickled her side gently. “One day you’ll grow up, and you’ll go off and leave me to be with someone else.” She wiped away a fake tear. “And you won’t be my baby anymore.”

“Yes I will!” Aquaria looked horrified. “I’m not leaving you, Mommy.”

“You’re not?” Sharon said. “But I thought you were a young adult?”

The kid nuzzled her nose into her chest. “Maybe not all the time, though.”

“How come?”

“Because if I’m an adult, you can’t snuggle me and sometimes I want to snuggle.” To illustrate her point, Aquaria burrowed into Sharon’s arms and sighed. “Like this.”

“Kiddo, you can be one hundred and four and I’ll still snuggle you.”

“You’ll be dead, by then. And I don’t want to snuggle with a corpse.”

Sharon chuckled. “But you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yeah. I promise that even when I’m a grown up, I’ll want to cuddle with you, Mama.” Aquaria said. “But I still don’t think I’m going to love anyone more than you.”

“What if you get a husband and he has lots of money and nice cars and a huge house?”

Aquaria sat up slightly to regard her mother. The look on her face was one of pure alarm. “Excuse you, but I’m going to have my own money. I’m not marrying some rich dude. Gross.”

Sharon grinned. “Good girl.”

“Are you going to get married, Mom?”

It was a question Aquaria had asked before, but certainly not recently. Not since Sharon and her ex had broken up. It had been more than three years.

“I don’t think so, kiddo.” Sharon said, slowly. “I don’t need to get married. I’ve got you.”

“You said I was going to leave you when I grow up.”

“Well, maybe when that happens, I’ll elope.”

“You could marry Alaska.” Aquaria shrugged. “If you wanted. I’d let you.”

Sharon brushed some of the fallout from the Claire’s eye shadow off Aquaria’s cheek. Her freckles were noticeable at the close angle, tiny little ones dusted over her nose. “Alaska’s just my friend, kiddo.”

“But when you’re girlfriends, you can marry her, then.”

“It’s not really that simple.”

Aquaria picked up the Barbie again. She smiled. “Grown ups always say that. I think things are usually simpler than they make them out to be.”

…………………………..

“I’m closing up and going home, Shaz.” Trixie appeared at the door of her office. “Come on, or I’ll lock you in.”

Sharon glanced over to her, and then back to her laptop. “Give me the keys. I’ll lock up. I’ve still got work to do.”

Trixie shifted the tote bag on her shoulder. “You’re already two hours late in clocking out.”

“Aquaria’s with Pearl and Violet tonight.” She said. “So I don’t have to rush home for anything.”

“I thought Kat said you were going for dinner with Alaska tonight?” Trixie folded her arms.

Sharon frowned. “She’s busy tonight with friends.”

“Doing what?”

“I don’t care.”

Trixie threw her the keys. “Are you sure? Because it sounds like you care.”

……………………………

“How was your night out?” Sharon asked.

“It was okay.” Alaska said. “Willam’s been trying to set me up with this girl he works with at the coffee shop. She was there.”

“Oh.”

Alaska nodded. “I left pretty early. Willam took some guy home, so I just left, too.”

“Is she nice?”

“Who?”

“The girl.” Sharon pressed her lips together. “Um, the one Willam set you up with.”

Alaska smiled. “I don’t know.” She bumped her arm against Sharon’s. “I didn’t meet her. I told Willam I wasn’t interested.”

Sharon smiled.

“Well, I told him I wasn’t interested in her, anyway.”

…………………………..

“I think I’m pregnant.”

Sharon rolled her eyes at Katya, sprawled across the couch in Sharon’s office, hands gripping at her stomach. “When was the last time you had a dick in you?”

Trixie walked into the room. “Two thousand and four.” She said. “She was twenty-two and still thought she was bi.”

“Then, I can guarantee you, you’re not pregnant.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Katya nodded. She accepted the mug of tea from Trixie. “It’s probably just a phantom pregnancy.”

“Or you ate two day old Mexican food at three am and we’re twenty minutes away from you shitting yourself.” Trixie sat on the arm of the couch. “I told you last night that taco was a bad idea.”

Katya’s belly audibly groaned. “I don’t regret a thing.”

“If you diarrhoea in my office, I’m going to get Pearl’s dog to shit in your Prius.”

The shrill marimba of Sharon’s phone scorched whatever retort Katya had on the tip of her tongue. The photograph of Alaska Sharon was using for her contact picture showed off her floral tattoo on her thigh. She fumbled for a second to unplug it from the charging cable, and caught Trixie giving Katya a look. She glared at both of them.

“Hi, Lasky.”

“Hey, I’m outside.” Alaska said. “I was going to come in, but there’s no parking so I’m just idling in a loading bay.”

“Okay, give me like two minutes.” Sharon grabbed her bag off the floor. “I’ll be out soon and then we can go for dinner.”

“See you in a sec, Shaz.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Alaska laughed and then the conversation ended as she hung up. Sharon put her phone in her pocket.

“You know,” Trixie said, leaning into Katya’s side on the couch, “if you don’t make a move on Alaska soon, she’s going to find someone else.”

Sharon opened her desk drawer. “Have either of you seen my house keys? I can’t find them.”

“That barista at the place around the corner’s been eyeing her up, I’ve heard.”

“Fucking keys. Where are they?”

“Stop ignoring me.” Trixie said.

“I had them in my hand this morning when I came into work.” Sharon muttered. She began moving papers around her desk. “But I can’t remember where I put them.”

“Sharon?”

Sharon began checking her jacket pockets. “Maybe in here…”

“Shaz.”

“Don’t call me that, Trixie.”

“Don’t ignore me, then, Shaz.”

She sighed and looked over at Trixie. She had her arms folded, eyes narrowed at Sharon. Katya looked between them.

“Just,” Sharon wiped some mascara goop out of the corner of her eye, “give it a rest, Trixie?” She asked. “I’m tired of you nagging me.”

“I nag because I care.”

“It’s true.” Katya nodded.

Trixie stood up. She crossed over to the bookshelf. Klaus had become a breeding ground for the local fly population as soon as the weather had begun to heat up again. In his place was a purple orchid, lovingly named ‘Penelope’ by Aquaria. All Sharon had to do, according to Trixie, was give Penelope one ice cube in her pot, every Monday morning. So far, Penelope was five weeks in to her new life on the bookcase, and going strong.

“I want you to be happy.” Trixie said sincerely. She reached out and plucked Sharon’s keys from the shelf above Penelope’s. “I love you, Sharon, and I want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

Trixie smiled. “I know. But, you could be happier.” She threw Sharon the keys.

She caught them easily. The little plastic key ring hanging from the set knocked against her knuckle. She looked down and smiled at Aquaria’s kindergarten school photograph inside of the plastic casing. Christ, that day felt like minutes ago.

“Can you believe Aquaria’s going to be twelve in less than six months?”

“What?” Trixie said. She looked at Katya, and Sharon caught the hint of a shrug from her.

“Nothing.” Sharon rubbed her thumb over the photograph, and dropped her keys into her purse. “I guess I’m just feeling sentimental. Time flies.”

“Sure does.” Katya agreed. She sat up straighter on the couch. “Two weeks and Alaska’s been working with me for a year. Feels like nothing.”

“Fuck.” Sharon breathed. “That’s….” She began counting the months in her head. “Wow. I’ve known Alaska for-,”

“Ten months.” Trixie interrupted. “You met in October. It’s August.”

Sharon looked at her. “What are you, my calendar?”

“No.” Trixie threw her arms up in the air. “But I’m trying to be your fucking alarm.”

“Huh?”

“Ugh!” Trixie groaned. “You need to wake up.” She clapped her hands. “Fucking hell, Sharon, you’ve been in love with that woman for almost a fucking year, and you haven’t told her.”

“Stop telling me how I feel!” Sharon stepped in front of her desk. “You think you know me.” She stepped towards Trixie. “You think you know my life.” She was nose to nose with her. “But,” She poked Trixie’s chest, “you fucking don’t. You don’t, Trixie.”

Trixie pushed Sharon’s shoulder. “I know you.” She spoke quietly. “I know you better than you know yourself.”

“Fuck you.”

“I know that you pretend you’re a scary Goth bitch, but you sleep with the hall light on because you’re scared.”

“Oh, shut up, Trixie.”

She pushed her again. “I know that you claim to hate Pearl’s dog, but that you give her treats and get her to sleep under your desk when she brings her into work.”

“Trixie.” Sharon heard Katya say, somewhere across the room. They ignored her, and Sharon instead, continued to stare Trixie down.

Trixie smiled sweetly. “You think I don’t know that you’ve been giving Farrah an extra forty dollars in her pay every week because her mom’s been sick and hasn’t been able to work as much.”

Sharon glared at Trixie. “You don’t have a clue about me. About my life.”

“I know you say you don’t care, but that you cry every time Aquaria gets mad and shouts at you.”

She growled. “Don’t you talk about my kid. You don’t know shit, Mattel.”

“I know you think you’re a terrible mother. That you cry in your car because you think she’d be better off with someone else.”

“Trix.” Katya said.

She continued. “It’s true, isn’t it? I know that you think Aquaria’s going to turn out just like you.”

“Trixie, stop.”

Sharon bared her teeth. “Fuck you.”

“Pregnant and homeless at nineteen, trying to drink her way into a miscarriage just so she doesn’t have to bare any responsibility beyond getting a high.”

Sharon hit her.

Trixie stumbled back into the bookcase with the force of the slap. Penelope fell and her pot shattered on the ground.

A hand gripped Sharon’s arm and pulled her back.

“Enough.” Katya wrapped her arms around Trixie, guiding her away. “Both of you stop.”

Trixie held her cheek. There were tear tracks in her blush.

The hand on Sharon’s arm tightened. “Sharon?” Alaska said. “Hey, it’s alright.”

Sharon turned to her and opened her mouth. Alaska was paler than usual and her eyes roamed Sharon’s face, quickly. Tears dripped from Sharon’s chin. She swallowed, heavily.

“Please don’t cry.” Alaska whispered.

“You were waiting outside.” Sharon’s voice felt far away. “In the car.”

“Yeah. But I found a parking space.” She touched the tears on Sharon’s cheek. “You were taking so long. I came to find you.”

Trixie was crying. Sharon could hear her.

“I hit Trixie, Lask.”

“I’m sorry.” Trixie said. “I didn’t mean it, Sharon. I’m so sorry.”

“I know.” Alaska said. She held Sharon’s chin. “I saw.”

Trixie was out of order. Way fucking out of order. Sharon was glad she had hit her, glad she had made her cry, glad Trixie was sobbing into Katya’s arms, because she had made her feel like utter shit. Worse than shit. She had said things Sharon had never in her life thought she’d have to hear, and she was fucking furious because…

… Because, Trixie had been right. About all of it.

The dark freaked Sharon out so she turned the hall light on before bed and claimed it was on behalf of Aquaria. Whenever Pearl brought Honey into work with her, Sharon would tell her it was unprofessional, and then coax the dog into her office with pieces of cheese until she curled up by her feet, then pretend to be annoyed about it. Farrah had told Shangela that her mom had had to leave her night job because of her bad chest, Sharon had overheard and began working the books enough to help cover Farrah’s costs for her travel to work and some school supplies. Aquaria’s outbursts weren’t common but they were enough to make Sharon cry the whole time the kid was in a time out.

And Sharon felt like a terrible mother. Almost all the time. And she lay awake at night, listening to the playlists of Celtic music Jinkx had made almost twelve years ago to play for her while she’d been in labour, and thought about how she had been so selfish the entire time that that little girl had been growing inside of her.

Trixie knew. She knew because she knew Sharon. Trixie knew Sharon’s deepest fears. Knew she prayed to something she had no belief in to keep her daughter from being such a fuck up like herself. God, Sharon was such a fuck up. Such a piece of shit that her own parents had left her all on her own. Aquaria deserved better. They all deserved better than Sharon. Aquaria, Katya, Trixie, fuck, Alaska.

Alaska.

“I love you.”

Alaska’s brows twitched. “What? Sharon, I-,”

“I love you.” Sharon said again. She grabbed Alaska’s hand. The room was quiet. Trixie had stopped crying. “I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.”

“Sharon…” Alaska breathed.

“Wait no.” She held up a hand. “No, I haven’t. That’s a lie. No.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I met you.” Sharon said. Her jacket was too hot on her neck. She moved her head irritably. “And you annoyed me, and then I kind of liked you, and then I was your friend. We were friends.”

“Yeah.” Alaska said. Her expression was baffled. “We are friends.”

“Right.” She squeezed her hand. “But I don’t want that, Lask.”

“What?” Alaska stared at her. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say to me, Sharon.”

“I’m scared of the dark.”

Alaska’s expression didn’t change.

“And I love dogs.” Sharon kept going. “And I cry all the fucking time when I’m on my own because I’m terrified I’m failing my daughter.”

“You’re not failing her, you’re-,”

“And you’re a cunt, Alaska.” Sharon laughed. She shook her head and looked over at Trixie. Her cheek was red, and she was curled into Katya’s arms, but the two of them were gawking at Sharon with matching expressions of disbelief. “Alaska is a straight up cunt.” Sharon laughed at them. She turned back to Alaska. “I love you, I love you, I’m in love with you and I need you to know because, fuck, Alaska, Trixie is my alarm clock!”

Alaska blinked. “Are you declaring your love for me, or having some kind of psychotic breakdown?”

Sharon grinned. “Why not both?”

“Why not both?” Alaska chuckled. “It’s never simple, is it?”

“I think things are usually simpler than we make them out to be.”

“Okay.” Alaska said. “You’re in love with me.”

“I am.”

“Good. That’s good.”

…………………………………………….

When Aquaria had asked Trixie why she had a bruise under her eye, Katya had interrupted and told her that Trixie had been hit by a blind pigeon while walking in the park. Aquaria hadn’t believed her, but she had laughed and didn’t ask again for an hour.

When she asked what ‘really happened’, Trixie had hugged her and told her it was an accident, and Aquaria shouldn’t worry about her. Aquaria had held Trixie’s hand under the table of the restaurant as they ate dessert.

The five of them walked back to Sharon’s house together. Aquaria had been quiet, stealing glances at Trixie’s eye where the bruise was a few days old and mostly covered with a thick layer of concealer.

In their living room, Sharon and Alaska sat side by side on the floor, holding hands and drinking wine. Katya and Trixie sat on the couch, laughing, and eating cheese and olives even though dinner at the restaurant had been less than an hour before. Aquaria had set up camp next to the coffee table and coloured patterns on stolen restaurant napkins to make dresses for her Barbies.

“If someone’s bullying you, you’re supposed to tell a grown up.” She said to Trixie. “But who do grown ups tell if they’re being bullied?”

The room went quiet, laugher died down. Sharon and Trixie shared a look and Sharon moved to sit by Aquaria. She took the marker from her and held Aquaria’s hands.

“I did something bad the other day.” Sharon told her. “Something I regret doing, and something I need you to know that I never want you to do.”

Aquaria’s eyes hadn’t changed since that kindergarten photograph. They were huge and trusting and Sharon couldn’t believe that she was allowed to be this kid’s mother. She was allowed to care for, to teach, this fantastic human.

“What did you do, Mom?”

“I slapped Trixie.” Sharon said. “That’s how she got her bruise.”

Aquaria looked at Trixie. “Does it hurt?”

“No.” Trixie said. “Not anymore.”

Aquaria frowned. “I feel like you’re lying to me.”

“I’m not.” Trixie said. “I promise. It doesn’t hurt.”

“Your eye or your feelings?”

Trixie smiled. “Both.” She nodded to Sharon. “I deserved it.”

“Why?”

“Because I said some nasty things to her.” Trixie said. She moved to kneel by Sharon.

“Mean things?” Aquaria asked. “Or really mean things?”

“Really really mean things.” Trixie said. “I was frustrated, and angry and I should never have said them.” She looked at Sharon. “And your mom got mad at me, and…” She trailed off.

“I hit her, Aquaria, and I’m so sorry.” She kissed her hands. “I’m so sorry, kiddo.”

“Me, too.” Trixie said. “I’m sorry.”

Aquaria smiled, then. A small smile. “I’m not mad at you. Either of you.” She frowned. “But I don’t understand why you’re saying sorry to me and not each other.”

“They’ve said sorry.” Katya interjected from the couch. “At length. There were lots of tears and lots of hugging and then someone may have thrown up.”

“It was Katya.” Trixie said, and looked at her girlfriend. “Katya was the one who threw up.”

“I ate an old taco.”

Aquaria nodded, understandingly. “But you’re okay, now?”

“Yeah.” Katya sighed. “There was some severe toilet usage, but after a day or so-,”

“I meant, my mom and Trixie.” Aquaria said.

Alaska snickered behind them.

“Oh.”

The kid threw herself at Sharon, nearly knocking her over. “You guys aren’t allowed to fight.” She said into Sharon’s neck. “Not for real. Not like that.”

Sharon kissed her ear. “We won’t. I promise you, Baby. We got all of that out.”

“Yeah.” Trixie put a hand on Aquaria’s back. “It’s all resolved. It’s all over.”

“The squad isn’t allowed to fight.” Aquaria said, sitting back. She looked over Sharon’s shoulder at Alaska. “That’s you, too, Alaska.”

“I’m the squad?” Alaska grinned.

“Of course.” Aquaria smiled. “We’re squad goals.”

Sharon groaned. “Don’t say that, kiddo. Who taught you that?”

Katya looked guilty. “Squad goals!” She began doing jazz hands. “Come on. We’re squad goals.”

Aquaria climbed on top of the coffee table, almost falling as she slipped on one of her napkins. Katya reached out to steady her. “Squad goals.” Aquaria shouted.

“No.” Sharon said. She could feel her cheeks quivering as she tried not to smile, and felt Alaska come up behind her and wrap her arms around her middle, resting her head on her shoulder. “No.” She said again with less heart. “We’re not saying ‘squad goals’. We are not a squad.”

“We’re totally a squad.” Trixie said.

“One hundred per cent a squad.” Alaska agreed next to her ear.

Sharon sighed. She kissed Alaska’s cheek. Aquaria squealed as Katya lifted her from the table and spun her around. Trixie joined them, laughing.

“It’s a damn good job I love all of you so much.” Sharon said to herself.

Alaska kissed the corner of her mouth. “You love us?”

“I suppose, I do.” She said.

“Good.” Alaska said quietly. “Because we love you, too.”

“Yeah?”

Alaska kissed her. Aquaria ‘oo-ooh’ed.

“I love you, Shaz.”

“I love you, cunt.” She kissed her, and kissed her, and kissed her. “I love that I can do that.”

Alaska smoothed a thumb over her cheek. “Straight up cunt.” She whispered.

Sharon smiled. “Squad goals.”

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“Honey, come on! Jump through the hoop.”

“Pearl she’s not going to do it.”

“You can do it, puppy! Through the hoop. Come on!”

“Pearl, stop. She’s not going to jump through the damn hoop.”

“Be quiet, Violet. She’s almost there.”

“No, she’s not.”

“Through the hoop, Honey. Look, like this.”

“Don’t you dare jump through the hoop, Pearl.”

“She just needs to see how to do it.”

“Don’t, Pearl.”

“Like this, Honey.”

“Pearl, you’re going to fall- Oh my God.”

“Ouch.”

“I’m leaving you.”

“Vi, come back! I’m bleeding. Ouch…. you still won’t jump through the hoop?”

‘Woof.’

[taehyungiestummy]

Summer Dreams -- Chapter Sixteen

Masterlist     Previous     Next

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3053

         “I admire Nari’s work ethic, and how she only took off a few days when we got here, but I wish we could spend more time with her,” Emily sets her camera down on her lap, picking up her pencil to write down another scrapbook idea in her notebook. She’s claimed the recliner today as she works on her passion.

         “I don’t want to interrupt her life too much, though,” I wiggle back to get back into a sitting position against the arm of the couch. I’ve been working on planning characters for a story while also playing phone games when creativity lulls. “We are only here for a few months, and then we will leave, and she’ll have to go back to a normal life without us. I don’t want us to become too much of a constant in her life.”

         “I understand that,” Emily nods a few times. “But she did agree to let us come over, so I think she has prepared herself.”

         “I’m just glad that she takes the time to give us Korean lessons, and that she is cool with letting us do basically whatever we want. Just opening up her home to us for a few months is more than I could have asked for. She’s gone above and beyond. I’m going to miss her so much.”

         “I don’t even want to think about leaving and missing people yet. There’s still a good chunk of summer left, and still so much to do.”

         “You’re right,” I chuckle, stretching out my fingers. “This is going to be the first time we don’t see fireworks on the Fourth of July.”

         “I can’t believe we’ll be spending our first American holiday outside of the United States,” Emily sets her pencil down, quickly putting her hair into a ponytail. “Do you think Nari will let us have a little party with American food?”

         “I don’t think why not,” I shrug. “She has spent her whole life learning and experiencing two cultures, so she would understand us wanting to have a little fun.”

         “We could even ask the boys to come if they can get the time off.”

         “That would actually be amazing,” I grin, looking back down at the spiral notebook on my lap. “It would be a lot more fun with more than just the three of us.”

         “We still have to meet two members, as well.”

         “Then we can dive headfirst into their music, and music videos, and interviews. It will still be weird since we know them, but it will help when we can’t see them.”

         “You just want to be able to see Taehyung even when you can’t be in the same room as him,” Emily chuckles.

         “I mean, yeah, that’s part of it,” I slightly smile.

         “Never thought that my best friend would be in a long-distance relationship, but if she’s happy, then I am over the moon.”

         “I am very happy right now. Oh, I just remembered, that quote you said yesterday,” I put down my pencil, looking back up at my best friend.

         “You did write it,” Emily looks up from her camera. “I remember from some story you had me read. I’m not sure what, but it was you. I’ve always like it, so that’s probably why I remember it.”

         “I’ve been thinking about it. The puzzle of my life is slowly coming together, year by year, more pieces are placed. This summer, I think that I have figured out a lot more than I was planning, so that is fun,” I awkwardly chuckle.

         “I’ve figure out that I do have the best friend in the world. Also, boys aren’t terrible, and can make me so happy.”

         “Well, I’ve already known that first one for a while since I love you and all. But, I think, that the other half is true for me in a different way. I knew that boys could be good if I found the right one to get close too, but I didn’t think it would happen for a while.”

         “Taehyung is a good match for you. The way he tries so hard to meet up with you, and how he makes you smile, and just how he wants to talk to you. It is so heartwarming to see it. More so with you being my best friend. All the trouble you’ve had with boys in the past, you deserve happiness with him.

         “It’s hard to fully fall for him since he’s a Korean star and all, though. It feels like an out-of-body experience when we are together, like he could disappear at any moment.”

         “And he has the choice of so many other girls? That scares you too, right?”

         “Yeah,” I take a deep breath. “It seems like a joke.”

         “Amber, you can’t see it, but when Taehyung looks at you, his eyes show it all. There is a sparkle that shines when his eyes land on you. He truly likes you. There’s no doubt about it. Trust me.”

         I look down at my writing: pages full of characters falling in love, something I really want. “Thank you.”

         “What?”

         “Thank you for telling me that. I needed to hear it.”

         “Oh, you’re welcome.”

         “Now, keep taking pictures, or looking through them to plan your scrapbooks, and I will keep writing away at something.”

         “I believe Taehyung is what you’ve been waiting for.”

         “I believe Namjoon might be for you.” I glance up to see my best friend smiling.

         “Maybe. I’m not objecting, and we keep getting closer by circumstances, so it is possible.”

         “He’s a little more reserved, so it is hard to tell, but I think he enjoys being around you. He knows that every time that Tae meets up with me, he gets to see you. I think it is sweet that he’s giving you a chance.”

         “I mean, he kind of has to since Taehyung needs him to talk to you.”

         “He could have just been polite without getting to know you, so I think you are just saying bullshit because you don’t want to admit that you could have a small crush on that boy,” I tilt my head just enough to see Emily’s cheeks reddening.

         “You did the same then before admitting that you liked Taehyung, so do not flip this on me,” she smirks, catching my gaze. “I’m testing the water, to see if what I am feeling is true. Don’t worry, you will be the first one to know how I feel when I figure it out.”

         “Good,” I look back now at my papers. “I need to be in the loop.”

         “You do know that we have to ask Nari if it will be okay to come back next summer?” Emily throws the conversation into a new direction.

         “I know, but I am just waiting for the right moment to run the idea pass her. Plus, I don’t want to think too much about next summer because the only way we can come back is if we want to leave, and I am not ready to leave yet.”

         “Then you probably don’t want to think about your birthday.”

         “Hm, no, we can talk about me birthday. It will be weird not being back home for it, but I think that we will still have a great time here.”

         “I know you will want a chocolate cake, as you have for the past five years.”

         “I think it has been six,” I giggle. “I love me some chocolate.”

         “We’ll probably have it here to make it easier. Take-out for the meal to make it easier, and you’ll probably invite the boys.”

         “Of course,” I smile, wishing that my phone would ring. It’s been silent since this morning, as Taehyung greets me through text every morning. “It would be boring without them.”

         “It would also be the last guaranteed day that we could be together.”

         “What did I say about talking about the end of the summer? I don’t want to think about the last anything.”

         “It’s not for over a month, so there is no reason to fret over it.”

         “The saying is that time flies when you are having fun, so I just know that the days are going to start flying by.”

         “Just knowing that we are getting closer to half-way sucks.”

         “Thank you for bring that up,” I let the sarcasm drip off my words, looking up to glare at her.

         “Sorry, sorry,” Emily raises her hands in defense. “What do you want to talk about?”

         “How about I turn some music on and we just focus on what we are doing?”

         “That sounds like it would be for the best,” she slightly smiles. “Maybe the boys will text soon to let us know when we can meet another member.”

         “I just want someone to text,” I pick up my phone, going to Spotify for the K-pop radio. “Now, let us enjoy some music as we continue to relax.”

********

         “Girls, I have to say, that I am impressed at how quickly you are picking up this language,” Nari widely smiles as we finish up our Korean lesson for the night. “I am also proud at how you are so willing and eager to take on the challenge that is Korean. You can have short conversations now, which is a lot more than you could say just a few weeks ago.”

         “It’s all thanks to you, Nari,” I place my notebook down on the coffee table. “Without you, we would be mispronouncing every other word, and probably wouldn’t have gotten far with learning.”

         “Thank you for being an amazing teacher,” Emily adds. “This is only the beginning of us tackling Korean, so I hope you are prepared for being our teacher for a long while.”

         Nari chuckles, “Of course. I will be your teacher until you two tell me that you don’t need anymore help. I’m sure it won’t take you two long to master Korean, and by that, I mean as much as I know and can teach. There are still areas of the language that mess me up sometimes.”

         “I think that everyone feels that way with their native language,” I settle back into the couch. “English can still be a struggle.”

         “There are so many rules in English,” Nari shakes her head. “If I didn’t grow up learning both languages, then we would not be having this conversation right now.”

         “I can’t even not being here right now,” I sigh, looking over at Emily. “Everything is perfect right now.”

         “I have to agree,” Emily lazily smiles at me. “Amber have the chance to picked from a multitude of family from all over the world. I’m glad it ended up being you.”

         “Ah, yes, your parents told me that when they contacted me the first time,” Nari nods a few times. “I was so scared because I hadn’t talked to you for many years, and I hadn’t been with you in person since your birth. All I could think about was freaking you out, pushing you away, ruining my chance to be the one you picked to spend a whole summer with. It would have sucked if you decided to go with another family member. I love that I was able to open my home to two curious girls, and that they fell in love with my country.”

         “The first time we Skyped, I was surprised because up to that point all the other people I was talking to were a lot older than me,” I look over at my cousin. “That was a point in your favor, as I knew the others would force me to do certain things on certain days. I just wanted to be able to relax and have fun while exploring a new place, culture, and language.”

         “I was sold when Amber showed me pictures of the area,” Emily speaks up. “It was a little odd that we would be coming to Korea, but knowing that a young cousin would be taking us in made it much better.”

         “I am so glad that I was lucky enough to be the one you picked,” Nari giggles. “It’s a good thing that I am young and understand what it is like to be a teenager that just wants to have fun.”

         “Fun means doing little but spending it with the people you love,” I fall onto my side. “To me, anyways, as I am introverted, and people tire me out.”

         “That’s why I am her best friend,” Emily taps my back with her foot. “We balance each other out, as I am more extroverted, and can talk when she shuts down.”

         “You two are super close, too,” Nari says. “If I remember correctly, you have been friends since elementary school. That’s more than half of your lives. I’m sure you know everything about each other.”

         “We have secrets,” Emily and I say as one.

         “Gah, that freaks me out,” Nari wiggles as a shiver runs through her body. “You are like the twin girls in The Shining, which I can read the book, but the movie gives me nightmares.”

         “Come play with us, Nari,” Emily and I are quick on the draw, but can’t help bursting into laughter.

         “I was going to rush out of the apartment if you two didn’t just burst into laughs,” Nari chuckles, shaking her head. “Now, I want to be caught up on your adventures, so what have you been doing the past few days?”

         “Three days ago we met Hoseok at the café, so that was nice to get out,” I answer. “The day after tomorrow we are going to meet another member, which is exciting and saddening because that we have almost met all the boys. It is just crazy how this summer is turning out.”

         “I have to agree with that.”

         “Other than that, we are just staying in,” Emily continues for me. “Playing video games, or doing our own little projects. I’ve never cooked so much in my life, so that has been fun.”

         “I love that you girls cook,” Nari runs a hand through her hair. “All you have to do is follow a recipe, and then it is perfect.”

         “I am more of a sweet making girl, but I have enjoyed making simple Korean dishes.”

         “It feels better knowing that we are making something to give to another person and not just ourselves,” Emily nods a few times.

         “Sure, sure, now, back on topic, what is up with you and your crushes?” Nari smirks.

         “I am just happy whenever Taehyung is able to meet up, and I am taking every day one step at a time,” I answer. My fingers instantly reach down to mess with the hem of my shirt. “I’ve had crushes before, but he makes me feel much different than those. Probably because he is reciprocating the feelings back to me, and I don’t have to stress over if he likes me or not. I know he does, and I hope that we keep getting closer.”

         “It warms my heart knowing that you are finding good friends, and possibly a future boyfriend,” Nari clasps her hands together. “I am still trying to wrap my head around that those friends are idols, but I trust that they are good people.”

         “Emily is also developing a crush that she will not accept,” I shift back into a sitting position. “You two gave me shit for not admitting I liked Tae, so now I feel like the same should happen to Emily.”

         “Namjoon is a nice guy, and I appreciate all that he has done for us,” Emily speaks up. “But I don’t want to mistake those feelings for me thinking I like him. I am just waiting to see how we continue to be around each other as our Korean knowledge expands. This is a different situation than yours.”

         “Shut up,” I pout. “I just didn’t want to be teased anymore. However, I do believe that Emily is forming a crush on Namjoon, which is super cute.”

         “Maybe,” she mumbles, adverting her gaze as her cheeks begin to take on a red tint. “I just don’t want to get my hopes up and find out that he doesn’t like me back. Taehyung clearly likes you, Amber, but Namjoon has yet to say anything close to that towards me. He’s just being a gentleman, and I can’t know if he is like that with everyone he meets since I barely know him.”

         “I completely understand that, Emily,” Nari speaks up. “There’s no wrong way in approaching a relationship, and maybe this is just a crush that goes nowhere. It is okay if the two of you stay just friends. I think that you’ll find someone that fits perfectly with you, and that is all that matters. Lucky for Amber, though, because she seems to have already found that person.”

         My cheeks heat up at the comment. “That’s very nice of you to say, Nari. I’m hoping that it all works out.”

         “Well, I think that we have exhausted the topic of boys,” Nari slaps her hands on her thighs.

         “Hold up,” I narrow my eyes at my cousin. “What about you, noona?” I tease. “Is there not a boy that you like?”

         “Me?” Nari points at herself as a chuckle leaves her mouth. “Oh, that is sweet to ask, but I do not have my eye on anyone. I dated briefly in high school, but then I dove into my work and didn’t have time to be in a relationship. That is fine by me, of course. It is the path that I chose.”

         “So, you just need someone who understands hard work like you do, and then it will be perfect.”

         “But also someone who knows how to have a fun time and relax,” Emily adds in. “There has to be a balance.”

         “I guess so,” Nari shrugs. “Don’t go out of your way to find someone for me, though. I am happy with my life at this moment, and I don’t think that I could handle being in a relationship at this time.”

         “Sure,” I goofily smile. “How about we watch a drama to end the night? They’re starting to grow on me, and I think I may be hooked.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hope you enjoyed reading! I wish I could tell you how many chapters are left, but I don’t even know yet myself. Another chapter will be out on in a few days, so be prepared for that! :D

[sickficprompts]

Connie is Sick

A fanfiction for the webseries All For One on the KindaTV youtube channel. This piece takes place after season 2. 

Shoutout to the anon who requested an All for One fic! I know it’s been a while, so I hope you’re around to see it :) I’ve been struggling to write recently, and I’m so grateful that you gave me a prompt I got really excited for. Hopefully, it’ll lead to more and better content going forward!

Words: 2484 Pairing: Donnie (Connie as sickie and Dorothy as caretaker) Fandom: All For One (webseries) 

“I told you to take a break.”

“I don’t need your sarcasm.”

“Don’t be a douche canoe.”

“My stomach fees like a douche canoe.”

Dorothy frowned at Connie. The girl was paler than normal with a pink flush across her cheeks. Her large eyes were tired. She was curled in a bad under a mass of blankets, shivering.

“Are you sure you want to go to class?”

Connie rubbed her eye and continued typing with the laptop laying on its side leaned up on her lap. “Have to turn in this essay.”

“You need to take a break.”

Her phone rang then. She closed her bruised eyes, and I passed it to her from the purple ottoman. She swiped to answer.

“Hey, mom.” Her voice was more energetic, happier… fake. “Yeah I’m good. Yes, I know there’s a bug going around. I’m being careful. Yeah, I’ve been taking my vitamin C. No, I’m not going to miss classes. I’m-“ She hesitated for a partial second to wince. She wiggled and held her stomach as she continued. “I’m getting ready for class now. I have to go. Okay. Yup. Love you too. Bye.”

She hung up with shaky hands, dropped the phone, and curled in on herself. I climbed into bed behind her and pulled the blanket tighter around her knees. I fit my hand in under her’s so I could touch her stomach through the fabric of her dress. I felt how tense it was, and felt it move as it growled again. Connie moaned.

I rubbed careful, light circles. She curled more but didn’t shrug me off.

“Does this help?”

“Mmm…” It sounded pain, but calm.

“Poor, Connie… I think you need a nurse. Good thing I’m a doctor!” I waited. She said nothing, so I finished. “A love doctor!”

“Dorothy, I feel really sick.”

I frowned. Connie sounded scared. “Uh, okay. What do I do? Do you want me to get the nurse? Or-“

“No. I have to go to class. I can’t finish my work like this. I won’t be able to concentrate. I-“ She sucked in a breath and squirmed, crossing her arms over her stomach.

“What is it? Hurt? Or are you gonna puke? Should I get the trash? I didn’t take it out yet… Oh! I have a takeout bag.”

Connie moaned weekly.

“Do you need the bag?”

She coughed once and covered her mouth with a fist.

I scrambled out of bed and got the takeout bag. “If you need it -uh- it’s… I put it beside the bed.”

She went limp and took a deep breath. “Can you get my ibuprophin from the bathroom? I think I have a fever.”

It was very warm laying with her. I put a hand on her forehead. “Shit, Connie! What the hell?”

She winced. “Can you try not to yell?”

“Sorry. Right. You shouldn’t go to class. You’re really sick. Maybe we should go to the Minute Clinic or something.”

“I’m fine. It’s just a bug. That wave passed.” She leaned up on her elbow to work on her homework.

I thought for a second but grabbed the meds anyway. She swallowed them dry.

“Don’t you want some water?” I asked. My voice was surprisingly unsure.

“I don’t think I could keep it down…”

“You can’t go to class.”

“I have to.”

I hesitated… before sitting at the desk and opening the inseparables stream.

“Hey inseperables.”

I could feel Connie glaring behind me.

Laura: Hey!

Alex: Hi!

“Anyone else here? We need a team effort?

Ales: On what? U ok?

Breton: I’m here! I was shitting.

Laura: Ew. TMI

Alex: Everyone ok over there Dor?

“I’m fine,” I said. “Connie-“ I was interrupted by a coughing fit. I turned to see her folding in on herself. She knocked the laptop off the bed. I rushed over and sat her up as she coughed, both arms wrapped tightly over her stomach.

The fit passed and she gasped for breath and moaned.

“I- I’m okay,” she said. “Go back to the inseperables. I’ve got homework.”

Alex: That is NOT ok

Laura: You’re gonna get sick! But also you have to take care of her?! WHAT DO??

Breton: WTF CONNIE HAS THE PLAGUE

“Connie wants to go to class today,” I explained. “Fever. Nauseous. Coughing fits like this all the time. Back me up guys! She can’t go, right?”

Alex: DON’T YOU DARE! I DON’T WANT THAT!

Laura: I get it, but it’s still not a good idea. Connie, you could get hurt.

Breton: once i got a fishing hook stuck in my hand, but it wasn’t my writing hand so i went to school

Laura: WTF Breton?!

“See? They agree!” I said, turning back. “Well except for Breton. But he doesn’t count!”

Breton: Hey! I went to the ER after classes!! But she’s supposed to do homework after classes…

Alex: shut up! Don’t remind her!

Laura: What would her parent’s do?

“Probably kill her, but that doesn’t-“

“It’s two o’clock,” Connie said. “I gotta get out of here.”

Connie stood, and quickly grabbed the top bunk with wide eyes.

I rushed to her as she swayed. “Connie? You okay?”

She went limp, and I caught her in time to lower her to the mattress again.

Eyes fluttering. “Gotta go… No time…”

“I’m not letting you leave now.” I looked at the computer. “She’s awake.” Then back at her. “You need to rest. You can’t go to class. You’re too sick.”

“Havetoogo….” she murmured.

“No, Connie. You’re not going anywhere.” I adjusted her so she was in a more comfortable position on the bed. She shivered, and I put the blankets over her again. I fluffed the pillow, and I moved the laptop far out of reach so she couldn’t get it back. “You rest.”

“can’t…”

“Well you’re gonna.”

I sat at the computer the chat had been going without me.

Alex: SHIT SHIT SHIT IS SHE OK?!

Laura: Lay her on her side so she doesn’t choke on her tongue!

Laura: Wait… that’s for drunk people…

Breton: Is she dead? Fuck, i thought my ship would sink in the normal college sweetheart way…

Laura: Okay, I googled it. Water, fever reducers, and cool cloth NOW

Laura: DOROTHY

Alex: Welcome back, Dorothy! Update please??

I smiled sadly at the webcam. “Connie fainted. Probably from the fever. She won’t be getting up for a while… She’s conscious though. Er, I think.” I glanced back to see her blinking blearily around the room. “Mostly.”

Laura: You need to bring the fever down!

“I know, Laura. I’m going to. Maybe I should just update you guys later. I think I should take Connie to the nurse. Or… maybe take the nurse to Connie. But I don’t know if I should leave her alone.

Alex: I don’t want to catch it. Not babystitting!

Alex: But I see if the nurse is in and bring her over.

“That would be such a huge help, Alex! Thank you!”

Laura: I’d help too if I was close enough.

Breton: If Connie dies, can I have her dresses? I wanna start roleplaying.

Laura: BRETON NO

Alex: Headed out now. Stay on the stream so I can just come back on if she’s not there.

“Will do,” I said.

I got up and went to Connie. Her eyes were heavy and drifting shut.

“Hey,” I said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Heyyy….” she mumbled.

I reached out and stroked her hair. She was burning hot and sticky with sweat.

She closed her eyes when I began stroking her.

“Is it nice?” I asked.

“Mmm…”

I continued stroking her hair and picked up one hand to kiss before putting it gently onto the bed. Slowly, Connie fell to sleep.

I got up and grabbed a facecloth from my drawer and checked the computer before I left. Laura and Breton were arguing about the ethically of Breton asking about Connie’s dresses. I went to rinse the cloth, squeezed it out into the bathroom sink, the cloud water feeling freezing in comparison to touching her forehead, and brought it back to Connie.

Before I put the cloth on her, I tucked her in better. I knew the cloth would feel cold, so I at least wanted her to be comfortable. I laid the facecloth gently over her forehead and eyes.

She flinched with a noise of surprise, then relaxed again.

I stroked her hair until her breaths became even again and went back to my computer. Still nothing from Alex, though Breton had given into Laura’s persistence.

“Okay, guys,” I whispered. “I think everything’s under control now. Hopefully, the nurse can come by.”

Just then, someone knocked at the door.

I opened it, instead of yelling. Treville stepped in, followed by Alex and the nurse.

“We have a sick sister?” Treville said, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Yeah. Connie. She’s been coughing, has got a fever, and has been really nauseous and having stomach pain. Not sure if there’s any other symptoms. She was trying to go to class like this when she fainted… I didn’t want to leave her alone.”

“So I helped,” Alex said.

“Right.”

The nurse looked awkwardly to Connie, and I realized she likely wouldn’t wake the sleeping student herself. I went over and shook her shoulder a bit. “Connie?”

She jumped and pulled the cloth off quickly. Her eyes darted from person to person then back to me. “Dorothy?”

“Yeah, it’s me. How are you feeling?”

“What’s going on? What time is it?”

“Do you remember what happened?”

“What do you mean? I was doing my homework. Must have drifted off.”

“Connie…” I was feeling kinda scared now. “You fainted. You would’ve hit your head on the bed frame if I wasn’t there. You’re really sick… So I called backup.”

She looked the others in the room. The nurse stepped forward. “Hi. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Nurse Holly. I was asked to come check on you. Would that be alright?”

Connie looked around again and back at me. “Dorothy, what’s happening?”

“You’re sick. The nurse is here to make sure you’re doing okay. Treville and Alex are here to help.”

“Actually, I’m out!’ Alex said. “I’m not catching that!” With that, she rushed out of the room.

“Okay, Treville is here to help. We’re worried about you, Connie. We just want you to be okay.”

She still looked really disoriented. It took me a second to process what she might have been feeling, but when I did, my voice softened.

“You’re safe, Connie. You’re gonna be okay. I just need you to let Nurse Holly take a look at you. I want to know if we should just let you rest here, or if I should take you to a doctor or something. That’s all, okay?” I kissed her forehead, slightly cooler now, and turned to the nurse. “She had ibuprofen a half-hour ago, and the cool cloth has been on her forehead for only like a minute or two. I don’t think she’s eaten or drank anything in at least a few hours. Says she won’t be able to keep it down.”

Holly nodded and knelt next to Connie. “Hey, Connie. Can I take a look at you?”

Starting to understand the situation a bit better, she nodded. “Yeah, sure. It’s probably just a bad cold…”

“Okay, dear. Can you sit up?”

Connie did, with more effort than I’m sure she would’ve liked to admit. I glanced at the computer quickly to see a flash of Laura.

Laura: This is really scary… I hope Connie’s ok??

I bit my lip. Was it that serious? I’ve never seen someone faint before. I was kinda scared myself. I looked back at the nurse, who was now taking Connie’s blood pressure and heart rate, then her temperature, pressed on areas of Connie’s stomach, and finally looked in her eyes, nose, mouth, and ears.

She stood when she was finished and faced all of us. “The ibuprofen should’ve kicked in by now, but her temp is still at 101. 3. If it stays above 100 for the next 3 hours that the ibuprofen is in her system, or if it spikes above 103, take her to a doctor or hospital immediately. At that point, it’s definitely something which needs to be treated professionally. Her throat and nose seem inflamed but don’t look infected or suspicious in any way. She doesn’t seem to be having any emergency situation with her organs, but she needs to drink water. Her blood pressure is low. She needs to eat. If these things get worse or don’t change, bring her to a doctor.”

“Noted,” Treville said. “I’ll keep an eye on these two. Have any other cases been reported to you?”

“No, but most students don’t come to me unless they have serious questions… or want to try and get out of class for allergies or something.”

“Also noted,” Treville said. “I’ll get the word out in the house that girls should be updating you when they have symptoms so that you know what’s going on throughout campus.”

“Thank you, Jean. And, Dorothy? You’re a good friend.”

Right. Not in the mood to argue. Just let it go.

“Thanks, Holly. And thanks for making sure she’s okay. Should I be worried?”

“It’s probably just a virus. Just keep an eye on her to make sure.

“Okay…”

We said our goodbyes, and Holly left. Treville e sat awkwardly on the purple seat. “You should alert me if one of you girls is ill. I don’t want anything happening to you.”

“Sorry,” I said. “Guess I didn’t know what to do cause it’s her info to share, and well…”

Connie was laying back in the bed, drifting in and out of sleep fitfully.

“Yes, of course.” Treville nodded with understanding. Recently, I’d learned anxiety was something she knew quite well. “How are you feeling, Dorothy?”

“Uh, me? Fine i guess?” Now that she asked, every fantom illness my brain could fathom started playing out in my head. I pushed it away before I could give myself fantom symptoms. “I’m fine.

“Well tell me immediately if you start feeling unwell. I can send a girl to take care of the two of you until you’re up for doing it yourselves.”

“Thanks. You probably shouldn’t be here either. You’re the president! You shouldn’t get sick.”

“True statement. I’m going to continue with my work for the day, but I’d like you to update me whenever you can.”

“You can always watch the live-“

“I don’t watch livestreams. Unedited content wastes valuable work time.”

I glanced at the computer.

Breton: DAMN

Laura: She’s not totally wrong…

Treville stood. “I’ll be going now. Good luck, Dorothy.”

“Thanks,” I said, watching her go. I looked back to a sleeping Connie then sat at my computer.

“So… okay. That just happened.”

Hey guys! Thinking about writing a part 2, but I’m not sure. Opinions? What did you think about this one? What fandoms do you want me to write for in the future? I wanna hear from you guys! :D

[askthenewhopespeak]

A Class Reunion

*Yamato’s phone rings, it’s from unknown number*

*He looks at it, a bit surprised. Who would call him? Almost nobody has this number… save for his new coworkers. He picks up. * “Hello?”

???: Yamato? It’s you, right?

He doesn’t recognize the voice, but it sounds familiar. It might be because of the phone… “Indeed, that would be me. May I inquire about your identity as well?”

???: What, you don’t recognize me? After all the good times we had in high school? I am hurt, Yamato. And here I wanted to invite you for a game in memory of old times.

Oh dear. Now he knows who that is. His tone sounds a lot more joyful - actually, a lot more like his high school self. “Asuka-chan! No way! I would love to join you for a game, but you would obviously win. If there is no suspense in this fight for the victory, what is the point? Events of which you already know the outcome may be inevitable at times, but they are boring.” He’s smiling to himself.

Asuka: Don’t be a poopy head, my games are fun, aren’t they? I mean, everyone always came.

“All the fun we had was seeing Ryusei-kun lose and almost flip the table with his Taichi techniques. But I admit, it was entertaining. And everyone came because you resorted to vile methods of corruption.”

Asuka: *her voice chokes with tears* P-pwease?

“It won’t work this time. I know you…” *He’s actually hesitating. *

Asuka: Pretty please? For old times?

*He’s weak. * “Alright. Inviting the others would be a great idea… If they’re still alive, that is. Though I doubt anything happened to Kyou-san. They were lucky, after all.” *He’ll have to sneak out Invidia’s ‘headquarters’ when nobody nags him to sweep the floor or something. *

Asuka: Kyou is sick. As always. I wonder what his luck has against my games…  I got Haruhi, though. And Shinzo. But really, I wanted you the most.

“At least Kyou-san has been saved from a humiliating defeat.” *He chuckles to himself. * “Aaah, am I really that important to a good games night?”

Asuka: You were always the most fun to talk to… If you tell Haruhi I said it I’ll kill you, though.

“I don’t have the means to contact Haruhi, anyway. Is she still following each one of your steps?”

Asuka: Of course she is. *there is a distant yell* Haruhi, come say hi to Yamato! *and then back to normal* She’s on her way. So, tomorrow at… eight or so? Would this do for you?

Tomorrow? Hell, they can make things go smooth without him. “Of course. I can’t wait to see all of you again.” It had been… since the end of the Tragedy that he hadn’t seen them. They were a big part of the best period of his life. It sounded cliché to say that the best years were high school years, but it was really something else. Hope’s Peak had been the funniest place he’s ever went to, and it was all gone.

Asuka: I can’t wait to hear how have you been, Yamato.

*a new voice on the phone*

Haruhi: Uehara-san? Is that really you? Omygosh!

Asuka: *far from the phone* Haruhi, that’s enough.

Haruhi: But…

Asuka: *still far* go do something else, dear.

Haruhi: fine

Asuka: Sorry about her.

“Haaa? But you didn’t even let me say hi. At least she sounded really enthused to hear from me.” *Nothing’s really changed…*

Asuka: She’s always excited. Didn’t want you to choke on that.

“We’ll have more time to talk tomorrow. May I ask how you’ve been?”

Asuka: Fine, you know. Joined future foundation when everything went to shit, worked under Yukizome for a while… and she was pretty cool, even if having your boss be six years younger than you is awkward.

“Talk to me about it! Mitarai-kun was even younger, and even less competent. At least being in the 10th branch wasn’t an utter waste of time…”

Asuka: the sixth was fine.  They didn’t really want me, but Haruhi refused to join if I didn’t and they really wanted her for her… skills.

“… I see. At least they didn’t hurt her, I hope?”

Asuka: Do you think I would have let them?

“Ah, true, true. But wasn’t she overworked? I know I kept doing back and forth between the 10th and the 1st branch because they were short on staff.”

Asuka: She doesn’t help anyone if she bleeds to death or dies of exhaustion. I made sure she rested well and ate well. Everyone were overworked by the end of it, but… I did all I could.

“It’s nice to take care of her. She wasn’t the best at that.” *Sounds like he genuinely cares. *

Asuka: Well, someone had to, and with Riko-chan gone…

*He sighs. * “Dammit. Some of us had to… well, you know.

Asuka: Yes. It’s funny, you know? I hated her. She took away Haruhi’s affection… and now… I wish she was here. I don’t know how to make sure Haruhi doesn’t kill herself by accident.

"But Haruhi has you. She loves you so much. She worships you. But… the weight shouldn’t all be on your shoulders.” *He doesn’t really know what to say either. He feels the quiet rage in him raise like the sea level. This is why he is doing this. Why he is collaborating with these people. To make sure the ones that made his classmates suffer, that destroyed Hope’s Peak, that destroyed their world, payed for their crimes.

Asuka: How have you been? Since everything ended?

*He doesn’t know if he should tell her. It would be best if she didn’t know. But…* “Well, I’m not doing so bad. I have a little… thing… going on. You know, getting back into business isn’t easy.”

Asuka: Tell me about it. What kind of a thing?

“It’s kind of obscure. It has something to do with the state of the world as of now.”

Asuka: …I somehow don’t see you doing heavy lifting, so it’s probably not restoration… eh, it’s probably still better job than mine.

“Hahaha… Indeed, physical labor isn’t for me. What job do you have?”

Asuka: You’ll laugh on me.

“I probably will, but tell anyway.”

Asuka: The local supermarket. *the disgust in her voice is clear. *

*He laughs, both in amusement and relief. The conversation got dragged away from his activity. * “Oh my. Asuka Amachi, the cashier.

Asuka: That’s not funny!

Asuka: Well, okay, but gaming tournaments don’t pay rent.

"It is funny, you have to admit. But it is true that you can’t pay anything with that. Maybe you could be a tester for board games?”

Asuka: I don’t think anyone needs a tester that would beat all their games.

“But you’re an expert. You could help them.”

Asuka: I didn’t find any place hiring. And honestly… A lot of places stay away from Hope’s Peak kids… we probably deserve it.

“That’s not true.” *His voice is much more serious. * “We had nothing to do in this perversion. We graduated years before Junko Enoshima thought of infiltrating Hope’s Peak. It was all because of her. We earned our talents and skills, we used them for hope. We have nothing to do with this perversion. It is unfair.”

Asuka: Well, people like us broke the world, so I can understand why people are mad! *she sighs* Also, I have never learned my kanji, maybe that’s why I’m never getting hired. *she sighs again. * go away, Haruhi. I’m fine.

“You should get Haruhi to help you with that. How do you even live here?”

Asuka: With Hiragana and Katakana, like a normal person.

“No, that’s not how you do it-” *He whines. * “You know Shinzo would sound exactly like that.”

Asuka: Yes, he would. *she laughs* man, I miss high school.

“Everything was much simpler.” He agrees.

Asuka: can we be sixteen again? being 30 sucks.

“Being 30 means we have to be responsible adults. I don’t think we were ever ready for that.”

Asuka: Yacks. Who thought letting me be an adult is a good idea? *she paused* Any chance your job is hiring?

“Unfortunately, the team is complete.” *He hates having to lie like that. * “But it is a temporary job, so you’re not missing out on anything.”

Asuka: Are you sure? I mean… it still must be better than my current job.

“It actually doesn’t pay well.” *More like not at all. *

Asuka: So why do you work to them?

Asuka: for, I mean for, I hate this language.

“They have a work ethic that I like. And they’re basically the only ones that took me. You’re not the only one struggling.”

Asuka: Work ethic doesn’t pay for food.

“It’s enough for how I live. Maybe not for you. Your clothes are quite expensive.”

Asuka: Not anymore, they aren’t.

“Tragic. I thought you would never accept to wear something that cost less than say… a good 10.000 yen.”

Asuka: Well, there is a difference between being a teen with rich parents who don’t give a fuck about your expenses and an adult who is struggling to end the month, no?

Haruhi: Hi, I took over for now, Suka… seems to not be in the best mood right now.

“Hi Haruhi.” *He laughs it off. * “Yeah, I think I made her a little upset.”

Haruhi: Hi. She is trying to forget.

“Thankfully she’ll have forgiven me by tomorrow.

Haruhi: Suka? Kicking someone out of game night? Never.

"But she could decide to get revenge on me, and that means I’m done for.”

Haruhi:  …You say it like you ever stood a chance.

“There are times when I stood a chance more than others!” *He is offended. * “If she decides I must lose, then I will lose in a humiliating manner.”

Haruhi: *she’s whispering*I think- I think she’s trying to prove something with tomorrow.

“Hmm? A theory?”

Haruhi: We barely have time for games- I think she is trying to prove to herself that she still can do it.

“… Oh.” *He didn’t quite notice Asuka’s melancholy. * “I understand… With the ones that left us, the fact she can’t even practice her talent anymore must be tough. Take good care of her, okay? I don’t think I need to beg you…”

Haruhi: Sometimes I don’t know who here is taking care of who. *she sighs* I’ll text you the address. See you tomorrow.

“Thank you. See ya.” They can hang on a little longer, but not much. Could he do something about it…?

*Haruhi hungs up, and a text with an address around the less nice parts of Tokyo is sent to him. *

Oh dear. Maybe the situation was worse than he thought. He pockets his phone and glares at the monitors of Invidia. 'Die already, you scum.’

[amorremanet]

10 facts about Sara Grace?

“ten facts about my characters” meme

1. Her birthday is March 20th, 1993 — she was born on the Pisces side of the Pisces/Aries cusp (the Cusp of Renewal), on the day that The Secret Language of Birthdays (Gary Goldschneider & Joost Elffers) calls, “The Day of the Labyrinth.”

Unlike most of the other characters (whose opinions on astrology differ but largely boil down to, “It’s silly, but it’s harmless”), Sara Grace actually cares about it and kind of does believe in it. She can’t decide if she agrees with the, “It’s silly” crowd, if she genuinely believes, or if she wants to believe in it so much that she’s made herself feel like she genuinely believes.

2. She and Lucy have been dating for a little over two years by the time they get introduced about midway through the first book, and Sara Grace…… she doesn’t NOT care about their anniversary? But she puts more effort into their matching Halloween costumes.

Their first Halloween together (2013), she was the fem!Mulder and Lucy was Scully.

Last year (2014), Sara Grace was Ariel and Lucy was her “kinda experimenting with butch but really unsure of herself in it and also trying not to be too obviously gay because her parents are on Facebook and privacy settings are a crapshoot” fem!Eric.

This year, they’re planning to go as Lady and Lady Macbeth — i.e., Sara Grace will be the Lady Macbeth we all know as Lady Macbeth, and Lucy will be her “still unsure about this butch thing but curious and trying it out” fem!Macbeth.

Mulder and Scully was a joint idea, inspired by one of the sororities on their campus holding a, “dress as your favorite 90’s TV characters”-themed Halloween party, but the other two Halloween costumes were all Sara Grace’s idea.

3. Her full given name is Sara Grace Nichelle Kelley — with “Sara Grace” being a double-name like “Mary Ellen” or, “Seung Gil” or so on. Her mother picked all of it out, Nichelle for Nichelle Nichols (…because Amanda is an old school Trekkie), and “Sara Grace” because she always wanted to name her first daughter, “Sara Grace,” and then thought it was extra amusing after she married Bryce Kelley, because the spelling might be different, but it made her name sound like the better-known maiden name of Princess Grace of Monaco.

Sara Grace herself has mixed feelings about this. Like, on one hand, it made using her full given first name hard to successfully do when she was in trouble because Amanda and Bryce never stopped kind of finding the, “Grace Kelley” part of their first daughter’s name hilarious (and “Sara Grace Nichelle Kelley” is admittedly kind of a mouthful, so it also wasn’t ideal for when she was in trouble).

But on the other hand, it’s made Sara Grace kind of hate things like going to the DMV or filling out forms, because other people will notice the, “Grace Kelley” thing and find it funny or cool, and yeah, it was pretty cool for a while when she was younger — especially because she totally wanted to be a princess when she grew up and still kind of has a Thing for princesses, and hey, her Mom named her after a real life princess, kind of — but now, it’s just tedious.

Like, please, she’s either “Sara Grace” or, “Ms. Kelley,” not the full thing, if it can be avoided, please, please, please.

(And this isn’t an in-universe fact, but OOCly, Sara Grace was named for my older goddaughter, and her surname came from my aunt [who is the mother of both of my goddaughters], I just added the ‘E’ because I’ve always seen, “Kelley” more often for when it’s a surname, and then I read the whole thing and saw the “Grace Kelly” business and went, “lmao, I’m keeping it”)

4. Sara Grace’s mutant superpowers are primarily based in either speed and, well, grace (as in: balance, equilibrium, steadiness, etc), OR in sound.

She’s not quite a potentially game-breaking speedster on the level of the Flash or XMCU!Quicksilver, but a big reason for this is that she hasn’t ventured out into mutant superheroics. Up until she makes the choice to do that in the story, she’s been one of the mutants who just want to go to school or work, hang out with their friends, watch The Daily Show or whatever they like, and live their lives without all of the crime-fighting stuff — so, she hasn’t trained everything up as much as she could do.

What this means is that…… yeah, she’s still fast, and it still falls outside three standard deviations of the human mean, even though she’s not a trained sprinter or anything (which is the most common test for, “is this thing a mutant superpower or is someone just really good at whatever they’re doing”), but she’s not as fast as she could be and doesn’t always have the hang of things like stopping, maneuvering at high speeds, not getting hit in the face by insects, etc.

Her biggest reason why she initially didn’t want to run headlong into superheroics came down to protecting and taking care of herself, because her abilities have serious downsides that can be difficult for her to manage and that can be really stress-inducing. But they’re also going to be under the read-more because they involve why it sucks to be a speedster who’s struggled with eating disorders.

Her sonic powers are a bit more trained up, partly because it’s easier to do that without getting on the wrong side of what she is and isn’t allowed to do with her class of superpower license — and partly because, although she’s primarily a dancer, she does love to sing and she’s usually pretty vocally expressive.

For the most part, she tends to limit her use of these powers to the ones that have cool potential uses but are a lot less awesome than, say, debilitating super-screams (which she can do, but would usually prefer not to, not least because she’s not trained up in it so she can’t really control it).

Like, one of her favorite party tricks and “getting to know you” ice-breakers is admitting she’s a mutant just enough to do a perfect imitation of different celebrity voices (as in, “you could have experts compare a legit recording of any given celebrity to Sara Grace’s superpowered recreation of their voice, and the experts would almost definitely NOT be able to tell the difference, because superpowers”)

Lucy first noticed her because Sara Grace was at a party being hosted by mutual friends, and during some game that Lucy wasn’t actually participating in, one of the other players asked Sara Grace to do a William Shatner voice and read some selection for a purple prose-y bodice ripper…… and she did, and it was awesome, and Lucy had to go find out who that girl was, holy shit

But yeah. All up, Sara Grace has the potential to be a serious power-house — she’s not going to get quite to Flash-levels of game-breaking speedster, but that’s on the world-building, not her, because there are some things that super-speedsters can do that I’m just not letting anybody do — but when she’s first introduced, she lacks training.

Even without training, she shouldn’t be dismissed as a possible threat (which Conrad is going to do, but in fairness, the only team members he sees as potential threats are Seb and Josie, because Josie is a telepath like Conrad and ruling Josie out as a threat might require Conrad to admit that maybe he’s not that great, and if you ask Conrad, Seb can’t overpower him or get any kind of jump on him, not least since he’s proven himself to be incredibly vulnerable to telepathy, but he might ruin things with his insistence on refusing all of Conrad’s offers to team up as proper nemeses in the name of the Greater Good and by being all concerned about other people and shit)

Like, seriously. If you ask Conrad: Todd, Stephen, Margot, and Pete are in no way threats to him because none of them is a mutant, and the only reason that he deigns to acknowledge them at all is that Sebastian insists on being a bleeding heart weirdo and won’t let Conrad ignore them

Lucy isn’t a threat to him because she’s inexperienced and confused and more likely to hurt herself than anyone else because she tries to run headlong into things like she lives in a Silver Age comic book and then gets in over her head and reality kicks her in the shins and takes her lunch money

Alexandra isn’t a threat because her ability to resist any telepathic attacks isn’t as strong as Conrad assumed it was at first, and she tries harder to stick to the rules than any of the other major cast members, save Holmes, who kinda has to respect the rules because he’s the resident boss man

(—this is not actually true of Alex, and the fact is that she favors her own personally determined code of ethics over externally imposed rules, but Conrad is wrong about a lot of things, so…… his opinions are just bad in general, so it’s not exactly weird that he’s wrong about Alex)

Julian, Annie, and Dylan aren’t threats because they’re on the same team as Conrad, despite all of them having some major disagreements and differences of opinion with him, and even when S.T.R.O.M.A. gets Dylan (which they would not have done if not for Conrad tipping Julian and Annie off about a bust that S.T.R.O.M.A. and the DEA are collaborating on, but completely forgetting Dylan as more than, “Julian’s sidekick who constantly looks like he’s only two seconds off from crying, whatever, Julian will handle it”), Conrad doesn’t think it’s any kind of problem because he assumes that these three are his minions and that, all disagreements aside, their loyalty is absolute

This………… really doesn’t work out so well

And you’d think that Conrad might get a reality check after getting arrested before Julian does and before Annie is even properly on the radar as more than, “one of the daughters of that one douchebag who’s trying to get the Republican nomination; she’s the party girl to her eldest sister’s Responsible Adult With A Cool Head and her twin’s, ‘well she wants to think she’s a serious journalist but lbr she just has a webshow where she yells at people and throws a lot of conservative buzzwords around like she knows what she’s talking about’”

—and you would be wrong. Like, yeah, you would be completely wrong.

But Conrad’s refusal to get a reality check is a totally different story

and Sara Grace isn’t a threat to him because she’s nothing but a pretty face with an anxiety disorder, who’s too scared of her true, untapped power to use it, even in the name of the Greater Good, and too scared of her own potential to accomplish anything, and probably just pretending to be a lesbian because she wants to piss off her parents or she thinks it makes her more interesting to guys or something

………Actually, Amanda and Bryce have never been anything but completely supportive, and Sara Grace has no interest in making men find her interesting because (and this gets complicated, Conrad, so you might want to sit down) she is not attracted to men

But, again, Conrad’s opinions are usually fifty shades of wrong and gross, so him dismissing Sara Grace as a potential threat because she’s untrained and has an anxiety disorder is just another example of him being completely full of shit

5. Okay, so. I want to try to keep this one brief, because I’m doing it last and this post is already long enough that it’s starting to make Firefox lag on me while I’m typing and there’s a lot of potential angst in this post already. But one of the things that a lot of people don’t acknowledge about a lot of superpowers, especially speedy powers, is that it’d take a LOT of calories to fuel those. Even in some works where they do deal with it, they underestimate just how much energy it would actually take.

To be fair, I’m not going to manage this perfectly either because at a certain point, you have to suspend some parts of real-world physics and biology to make superpowers work, and it’s just not feasible to have almost all of your mutant heroes and villains constantly hooked up to IV lines so that they don’t die of malnutrition by simply existing while having superpowers

But I am going to deal with it more than a lot of superhero stuff tends to do, and Sara Grace is one of the characters who has more problems with it than average.

The big reason why she has more problems than average is that before her mutant abilities fully manifested (which was when she was about 17), she dealt with an eating disorder. This is also a big reason why she wound up not going into dance professionally, because one of her biggest triggers was how much pressure she felt to force her body to fit certain ideals and standards — and dude, she’s 5’10” and has been really tall for her entire life, so it was even harder to do this, because she was basically trying to restrict her diet and starve herself down to a weight that would’ve been on the low side for someone with her build who was six inches shorter

—but by the time her mutant superpowers started to manifest in full, Sara Grace had actually done really well in her therapy and treatment (and unlike some of the other characters who’ve dealt with similar kinds of struggles, whether ED’s or the more general, “problem where there’s some very obvious unhealthy manifestation that needs to get dealt with, but there are a lot of underlying emotional issues you need to address too”), and she had gotten to a place where she felt more or less okay…… and suddenly, superpowers everywhere

Like, it was hard enough for her to adjust her diet and her routines to accommodate the most basic-level, “existing with superpowers even if you don’t really use them that often” stuff, and then she knew she’d have to be adjusting to college in the near future — and she really, really didn’t want to end up in a hardcore relapse

So, from her perspective, the choices here kind of boiled down to, “You can get more training and a license that lets you be what is basically a superhero and help people, but do it at the expense of your own health,” and, “You can pass on that and take care of yourself” — and she picked taking care of herself

By the time she gets another choice to get involved in mutant superheroics or not, Sara Grace is at a more secure place than she was at 17/18, and she’s going to acknowledge that this is a potential risk but it’s one that she feels up to handling.

She’s not going to be wrong, but it’s going to be a mixed bag for her, mostly because…… well. She’s a human being and this means that she can’t perfectly predict anything, so there are some things that she’s prepared to deal with, some that she knew might happen and wasn’t entirely prepared for but she’s better equipped to handle them than she would’ve been back at 17/18, and some that totally blindside her

But she’s going to grow and deal with things because…… well, that’s what fictional characters do

6. Her top three favorite songs for karaoke night are “I Will Survive,” “Baby One More Time,” and “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” (if she can get Lauryn Hill’s version of it, then awesome, but if not, then any version of it will work just fine)

She has learned, however, that she should not try to sing “Freakum Dress” at karaoke while tipsy.

Honestly, the conclusion that Sara Grace should’ve drawn from the incident that led to that lesson? Was, “don’t try to do some complicated dance moves in hella high heels while so drunk that most other people would be flat on their asses, which for you means that you’re too drunk to pay attention to where your feet are, so you get tangled in the wires and fall over in the middle of your song”

But she was singing “Freakum Dress” at the time, and while she doesn’t generally do karaoke night while drunk most of the time anyway, she primarily took it to, “Don’t do drunk karaoke with ‘Freakum Dress’ as your song” because if you ask her, she only tried to do such complicated dance moves because she was singing “Freakum Dress”

That…… isn’t necessarily true, but it’s also not entirely untrue, either? It felt true to her at the time, at least.

She has also learned that making Lucy do a duet of, “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart” won’t work exactly how she imagined that it would, because Lucy isn’t quite tone-deaf? But she can’t really sing that well, either, and in Sara Grace’s daydream that led to her doing this, they sounded great and had perfect harmonies and it was totally awesome…… but in reality, Lucy was off-beat and off-key, her tone wasn’t that great, and it was still pretty fun, but okay, her girlfriend can’t sing, lesson learned

7. She wouldn’t call herself the, “selfie queen,” exactly…… but literally only because she would prefer to be the, “selfie princess,” because yeah, okay, she has adult goals and dreams now (she’s working toward becoming a therapist with a specialty in art therapy), but she still kinda wants to be a princess when she grows up

8. As far as superpowers licenses go, Sara Grace has one that has more allowance for power incontinence and for using her abilities in to help out in emergency situations, but that is closer to the, “I’m seriously not going to do more than use heat vision to reheat my coffee, I don’t want this and would prefer to ignore it”

Power incontinence is like… okay, example: if Superman were minding his own business but one of his Kryptonian allergies got aggravated and he sneezed out ice breath or something? That would be power incontinence.

The term, in-universe, is usually used to cover things that might happen when someone can’t fully control their powers (e.g., Seb has to work to figure out what makes La Bête tick and get control over his beast-mode shifts)

or things that might happen in highly stressful situations (e.g., Josie usually has their telepathic and empathic abilities pretty well-controlled but can start slipping when they’re dealing with a lot of shit if they aren’t properly taking care of themself emotionally; and Yael might be in her eighties and one of the most respected mutants on the planet, but she still has a tendency to make electronics with magnetic parts start malfunctioning when she gets really angry)

This comes in handy because it covers things like all the times when Sara Grace doesn’t mean to rely on her super-attuned send of balance but she also can’t really turn it off

Like, if she were ever in the position to do so (which she doesn’t plan to be, but that’s another story), she could pass the physical parts of field sobriety test while totally drunk, but she’d stumble on anything that involves any talking to the officer

Because her body might be way more stable than it should be but that won’t rein in how easily distracted she gets when she’s drunk (like… no, honey, the officer did not ask for you to do your dramatic reenactment of Det. Olivia Benson’s entire personal history through wherever you are in watching SVU if you aren’t up to date on it, complete with doing Mariska Hargitay’s voice, and this really isn’t helpful)

…and being able to walk in a straight line while her head is reeling and her perception is distorted doesn’t mean that she won’t be slurring her words

—And if she had a more restrictive license, she could get in trouble for relying on her super-balance in this situation because in most places, “using superpowers to pass a field sobriety test, even if you don’t actually pass it” would count as more than, “I just want to go home and use heat vision to reheat my coffee”

Not that this means that having coverage in her license type is a guarantee for her or anybody, because unfortunately, as we already know, way too many cops in the U.S. are complete fuck-wads against anyone who isn’t a straight, non-disabled, gender-conforming white guy

And since Sara Grace is a black femme lesbian who has mutant superpowers and no arrest record but some past involvement in protests and social activism, she would personally rather not test whether or not any given cops would be deterred from trying to charge her for violating the terms of her superpowers license by the fact that hers covers her super-balance because she cannot turn it off

Her introductory scene is actually going to address these fears, somewhat. See, Sara Grace and Lucy are brought into the story’s narrative on October 15th, 2015 — a Thursday evening, which they had planned to spend at an open-air concert at a park in Baltimore, and then they wanted to go back to Lucy’s together because she’s lived at home after their graduation in May, but her parents are out of town and the only other member of the Murphy family who might come around is Damien, who already knows that Lucy and Sara Grace are together.

Incidentally, that Thursday evening was also going to be date-night for Seb and Stephen, who were going to the symphony because Seb’s parents had tickets that they couldn’t use and eldest brother Max would need a third for his daughter (and for the show to not be at 8PM on a school night), sister Addie doesn’t have anyone she’d actually want to take, and middle brother Ambrose moved to Vermont when he got a job teaching at a private school up there. Much like Lucy and Sara Grace, Seb and Stephen really just wanted to have a nice time together.

Sucks for them, though, because there was a supervillain attack at the concert.

I’m still hammering out the exact details of what actually happens in said attack, but the really important point, plot-wise, is that the perp (who wound up apprehended pretty quickly) wasn’t acting of his own free will, but had gotten telepathically taken over and forced to do it by everyone’s least favorite douchebag, Conrad.

That’s not immediately apparent, though, and for the time being, Sara Grace is more concerned with the shit that’s going on right now — a list that includes:

how she used her powers to try and get some of the other civilians out of harm’s way

how the supervillain of the day tried to stop her and wound up with damaged eardrums because Sara Grace screamed and couldn’t control how powerful it was

(it’s frankly a miracle that it only hurt the supervillain, since one of the potential risks of sonic abilities is how they can affect people other than the intended target and Sara Grace wasn’t consciously targeting anyone)

how she and Lucy wound up incapacitating the villain long enough for cops to get him in cuffs so they could eventually hand him off to S.T.R.O.M.A. officials (which is a GOOD thing, yes, and this kind of situation should fall under the emergency provisions that Sara Grace’s license has, but she’s incredibly wary and also kind of an anxious mess following all of this, so that wariness gets magnified by a power of ten)

and how Lucy did so with powers she didn’t even know she had, got injured in the process, and then passed out while her healing factor kicked in, but was still injured enough to get stitches after getting taken to the hospital

So, suffice it to say, Sara Grace is not exactly in the best and calmest state of mind when a beautiful dark-skinned woman (who kind of looks like she’d gotten home, taken off her work clothes, gotten relaxed, and then abruptly had to throw them back on…… largely because that is exactly what happened to Alex tonight) asks her to please leave her girlfriend’s bedside for a couple minutes, then brings her into the hallway, where she introduces Sara Grace to a really tall white guy in a nice suit and another white person who’s only slightly taller than Sara Grace, looks more like a guy than not, and has barely-noticeable lace on the trim of their collar, and all three of them pull out S.T.R.O.M.A. identification

Like, her immediate fear here is, “Oh, shit, are you going to arrest me, I didn’t do anything wrong, did I, hey, I can cite all the rules that say what I did was okay, I keep up on all of this…… did I do anything wrong? Did my screaming hurt someone else or something? What’s going on?”

……Actually, based on all the witnesses they’ve already heard from, Alex, Josie, and Seb are not even thinking of bringing Sara Grace into custody for anything. They more or less get why she’s scared (given that Alex and Josie have both dealt with S.T.R.O.M.A. officials being seriously unethical about recruitment and making it seem like they had to accept recruitment or get slapped with charges for violating their licenses, they’re REALLY not interested in doing that to someone else, especially not a terrified girl who’s trying really, really hard to talk tough and not doing as well as she could if she weren’t currently an anxious mess)

They’re literally just here to (loosely in order, but it’s really not official): 1. see if Sara Grace and Lucy are alright, or as alright as they can be after this horrible experience (which, frankly, most people aren’t prepared for because most supervillains don’t do this kind of out-in-the-open, Silver Age bullshit);

2. thank both of them for their assistance in saving lives and preventing more injuries and destruction;

3. collect their statements about the evening’s events, which neither of them is not obligated to give but they’d appreciate it anyway (and Sara Grace in particular has Alex’s promise that, whatever Sara Grace decides, Alex will do everything that she can to make sure that no one twists that choice to use it against her when she acted like a heroine tonight and should be praised, not punished);

and 4. offer them some information on counseling services, if they want it.

Like, the reason why Seb heads in to see Lucy alone is that Sara Grace does decide to share her recollection of what happened, but she’s still pretty tense as she tells it, so Josie asks if she’d feel more comfortable going to a different room, rather than a sofa in a visitors’ lounge, but her response is that she’d feel more comfortable if it was one-on-one or two-on-one, instead of three-on-one

Since Seb is standing, and more so because he’s the tall white guy, who Sara Grace can’t get a read on right away, so she’s not sure how she feels about him right now and, at the moment, that makes her feel uneasiest about him being around, Josie asks him to go see if the evening’s other heroine is alright and up for a talk

And Seb doesn’t mind because…… hey, if it makes Sara Grace feel a little less ill-at-ease after what she just went through? Then it’s not a big deal. He might mind a little more if he knew exactly who he’s going to see, but he literally only heard that Sara Grace’s girlfriend is named Lucy (which is a common enough name that he doesn’t even think, “Oh, she could be the Lucy who I used to know”)

—But this is only about four months after he went through his own episode of, “suddenly, superpowers everywhere, then S.T.R.O.M.A. gets involved and oh holy shit,” so while he’s definitely not in the same boat as Sara Grace, he appreciates that her comfort > his, right now

So, yeah.

Sara Grace is going to spend her introductory scene being an anxious mess and trying to keep it together, only to probably succeed for a while and then end up crying on either Alex or Josie, because she’s 22 and even after being reassured that she is absolutely not in trouble, she’s just had a very stressful evening when it was supposed to be a relaxing night with her girlfriend without Lucy’s Mom and Dad there to be homophobic and force the two of them to act like they’re Just Gals Being Pals, Totally Not Lesbians Or Dating Each Other, Nope, and she’s scared for herself and scared for her girlfriend and now that she’s thought about the idea that her scream could’ve hurt an innocent person, she’s scared that it might’ve happened, and jesus fucking christ, she’s a champ for making it all the way through her statement to Josie and Alex before she cries, I’d like to see any hypothetical naysayers do better in her position

9. Although she didn’t go into dancing professionally, like she wanted to when she was younger, dancing is still one of her favorite forms of stress-relief. Much like how Lucy sometimes hits a wall where she needs to tap out and go play Tetris until she can handle things like an adult again, Sara Grace hits walls where she needs to tap out and go work out her feelings and clear her head, and she prefers to do so with dancing, when she can.

Oddly enough, her love for dance made people think that she might be autistic when she was younger, even though she isn’t, while Lucy, who actually is autistic, went completely unnoticed

See, one of the more common and easily noticeable stims that kids on the spectrum engage in sometimes? Is walking on your toes for no reason that makes itself readily apparent to allistic adults.

Sara Grace, as a kid, wasn’t actually trying to walk on her toes. She was just in love with her kiddie ballet lessons, to the point that she turned every moment when no one stopped her into an excuse to practice something that she’d learned in class, and it sometimes looked like she was walking on her toes to the adults who had no idea what was going on.

Which led to her parents getting her tested, and granted, those tests are by no means 100% reliable…… but in this case, when the psychologist who talked to Sara Grace went, “Yeah, she isn’t autistic, she’s just really into her dancing and invested in giving it her all,” Dr. So-and-So happened to be right

10. She’s a cat person. If she could have a hundred cats without it becoming an issue for some reason, she would totally have a hundred cats, and then probably try to have more.

As it stands, she already has two of them — a tabby shorthair named Valerie (whether she named Val after the Zutons’ song or Valerie Brown of Josie and the Pussycats will depend on when you ask her, because Sara Grace has said both things before, as well as, “I don’t know, I just thought she felt like a Valerie, y’know?”) and a fluffy black longhair named Peppermint Patty (who doesn’t look like the Peanuts character and the resemblance between them is only apparent to Sara Grace, but when she found Patty at the shelter, she went, “You remind me of Peppermint Patty, that’s your name now”)

—and about the only reason she doesn’t have more babies is that it would cost money, and her current internship may not be unpaid but it still doesn’t pay very well. (Strictly speaking, the cousins she lives with would prefer it if she didn’t try to bring another cat home because of space concerns, but Sara Grace insists that she could find a way to make it work.)

Like, seriously? Much like Seb isn’t usually allowed to go to an ASPCA shelter alone because he might try to adopt yet another dog (even though he already has six and would have seven if his Chewie hadn’t passed away in March 2015), Sara Grace is not allowed near a shelter without a chaperone because she might try to do the same with kitties. When they get to know each other, they won’t be allowed to act as chaperones either, because Margot, Lucy, and Pete correctly assume that they’d enable each other, rather than act as impulse control.

Stephen is sorta kinda allowed to act as chaperone, but only for one of them at a time. It could be either one (though he’d have an easier time telling Sebastian that he doesn’t need another dog, simply because…… dude. six. it’s enough, you’re good.)

(Also, while Stephen likes all of his boyfriend’s dogs, he’s somewhat less fond of things like, “accidentally startling a nine-pound Yorkie because Achilles decided to take a nap on top of Stephen while he was taking a nap and Stephen didn’t notice”

or, “being woken up by a corgi-husky crossbreed trying, maybe succeeding but maybe not, to jump up into bed with Seb and Stephen, and trying to make Stephen come play with him, because Oscar has decided that Stephen is the new non-Seb favorite (at least, he’s tied with Seb’s Mom) and no, no, no, it’s not time for sleeping, it’s time for playing”

or, “eventually, trying to have an ~intimate moment~ — whether that means sex or not — with his boyfriend, only to get interrupted by Oscar waddling into Seb’s bedroom like he was invited by virtue of his Dad and New Favorite both being there, or by pit-mix Lola sticking her head in like, ‘Do you guys need anything? Snacks? A condom? Let me know!,’ or by Achilles whining at them for attention because he feels ignored”

—but that’s sort of beside the point, which was just that…… Yeah, no, Stephen would have a way easier time telling his boyfriend not to adopt another dog than he would, if he tried to tell Sara Grace that she doesn’t need another cat)

Anyway, Stephen won’t be allowed to chaperone both of them to the ASPCA shelter at once, because his reason will get overridden by how cute both of them are when they start looking at cute animals, and Sara Grace started getting teary about this one cat who’d been rescued off the streets after going through some vaguely defined Hell that Stephen didn’t hear all the details about, and Seb got making heart eyes at a little Jack Russell mix because they reminded him of his first dog (Toby), and Stephen tried to tell them not to, okay, he really tried, but they were being so cute and the animals’ stories were so sad and that’s why the team has two new animal companions???

—Fortunately, that’s never going to happen for realskis, because the rest of the team will veto the idea before it even gets off the ground, but…… yeah.

All three of these characters are actual facts adults, I swear

They just can’t act like it very well around cute things and especially not if the cute things involve animals

Sara Grace is also going to be low-key jealous that Seb can kind of talk to animals (…it’s not quite that simple, but that’s how this ability of his looks to her), and at some point, she’s probably going to ask him to translate her cats for her because she really wants to know that Peppermint Patty and Valerie know that she loves them, and then, she will be told that it doesn’t really work that way, but okay, he can try to do his best for her, if it makes her feel better? :/

And it does make her feel better, Seb. Thank you.

[imkipsy]

I swiped right on everyone on Tinder (yes, everyone)

I previously began this project in my first year of college, I was 18 and beginning my studies as a theatre/biology double major at The Ohio State University. Shortly after reaching 1500 matches, I began to fear for my safety, and aborted the social experiment right after the beginning of my second semester. Now, being in my third year and two years older, I thought it would be a good idea to restart my project in hopes of gathering information on interesting people and (maybe) even finding someone I like. I am a seasoned user of Tinder, averaging about seven dates, two casual hookups, and even a couple of possible relationships. I am starting this article at the milestone of my 2000th like, a phrase I never thought I would be writing in a Word document while sitting on my mother’s couch. And yes, I swiped right on EVERYONE, minus a select few who were maybe going to compromise my safety (exes, past abusers, etc.). After almost a month of the project, I feel the need to talk about my findings and what this could possibly mean for the future of casual dating.

                   This project revival began just before the new year of 2017 after a stimulating conversation with my roommate about crazy dates and exes (Tinder or otherwise). I had been an on/off Tinder user for about 2 years, only rendering it useless when I was monogamous or having one of my “independent woman who don’t need no man” emotional bouts. My roommate, on the other hand, was a more recent victim of the hells of Tinder; finding it tough to convince herself to keep using the app for the chance of clicking with someone. We discussed writing a Tinder episode for a small show we were collaborating on outside of our academics, a project we were using to showcase the actuality of college life. This was the catalyst for both of us remaking both of our profiles and PAYING for Tinder Plus. We both signed up for a month membership, offering us a whole slew of new options for the app, like boosts during peak hours and unlimited likes. We decided to make hyperbolic versions of ourselves, seeing how much a man could handle before questioning his swipe decision. Our pictures featured tasteful cleavage and good angles, all necessary for reeling in ~the perfect man~. My bio read, “0 in the pink, 5 in the stink”, a phrase that I do not remember the source of, but seemed fitting for this version of Kelsey. I also had my preferences set to “men and women” since I am a bisexual woman, but none of the women bothered me. My roommate’s bio said, “hit me with the shocker”, so let’s just say that we were not setting ourselves up for success. We began swiping and found ourselves reeling in the instant gratification and validation in our attractiveness as women. The only song that was completely applicable at this point was “It’s Raining Men” by The Weather Girls (I wish they made more music). We were quickly up to 500 matches after a few hours, and the messages were flowing in so fast that we had to put our phones on “Do Not Disturb”. Some of my messages were questioning the whole anal fisting thing, many others were ultimately willing and on board to participate in a night of intimate annihilation. However, most the messages were duds like “hey” or “wyd” BUT I have included some mighty fine gems here for your satisfaction.

  Let me just say up front, I matched with some real creeps, like people you see on the street and think “this person looks like they might murder me” or “I am getting a very strange vibe from you so I am hoping you can hear my thoughts and hear me say, you look lovely today!!”. People on campus began to recognize me; sometimes I would walk to class only to read a message 20 minutes later saying:

This began to make me paranoid; these men recognized me, but I would not be able to pick any of them out of a lineup. I walked around campus, locking eyes with people on my way to class and wondering if they knew me. My roommate had ceased her part of the project after beginning to feel freaked out by the sheer number of men who were actively trying to meet her. I did not judge her for this intelligent course of action. After being picked out a few times on campus, I took a short hiatus from my swiping and did not message anyone back for a couple weeks. Some men were belligerent, insulting me and my attitude after a day or two of not messaging back. A few men were persistent, messaging days, sometimes hours, in a row in hopes that I would respond with some witty banter. With 2000 people, it was very difficult for me to keep track of who I was responding to and who was sending me new messages. Tinder’s infrastructure was literally unable to handle the amount of matches I had, showing that people had messaged me when they had not and losing some of my matches in the void. After my hiatus, I was a little sobered to the whole experiment; I had lost my initiative to continue swiping and accumulating more messages for SCIENCE. Although, not everything was terrible with this project since it allowed me to get to some really cool people faster by bypassing Tinder’s match algorithm/design.

                   In total, I gave my number to and/or met three of the matches I accumulated during my second run of the project. I hooked up casually with one man, talk continuously with another, and am casually dating my most recent, normal match. The struggle with this is, how do you tell someone that you swiped right on everyone, even them? Does this emotionally compromise the other person? Does it bring to question your sanity and way of living when they find out that you have been messing with men on a dating app for over two years? I have told two of the three men about my project, and they did not seem to have an issue with it, albeit maybe a twinge of judgment and pain at the initial reaction. And I feel bad, I really do. I know that many of these men are just looking for casual fun, or even serious relationships. One guy even told me that I was his first match after a few months of using the app, something I had never thought about over the time span of my experiment. But, it is hurtful, what I did and am currently doing. Something as simple as a right swipe is enough to be emotionally affecting to another person, and that sucks. BUT, a lot of these men are uncool, many of them making attempts to sexually harass me, ask for nude pictures, or find out where I live. It does not absolve me of guilt, or give me a reason to continue my swiping extravaganza.

 The whole point of the experiment, for me, was to learn about the app, and the people on it. It is such a dark and mysterious topic, who uses Tinder, and what are they there for? No one wants to admit to using the app, but why? Why is our generation so afraid to admit that they don’t use “traditional” methods to find companionship? Is it because of past generations judging us for using these apps? Or is it because we feel ashamed or unable to find love in the ways our parents did? I still do not know the answer, and I do not know why most people use Tinder. Many men asked me, “so why are you here??” because there is no ONE answer to this question. Tinder is not defined in its usage as a casual dating app, or a serious one either. I have friends who have had long, fulfilling relationships from Tinder, and others who have vowed to never use the app again because of their experiences. We have reached a new age of dating, there is more criteria than ever before when looking for a possible partner. Politics, religion, values, ethics, academics, feminism, emotional/mental health, these factors now play a role in today’s age of companionship that they may not have previously. My mom is a liberal Democrat from Michigan, my stepfather a conservative Republican from Ohio. These two would most likely never be together today if their Tinder bios had been available up front with this information. I know, personally, I would never be able to date someone who was not a feminist or unwilling to stand with my social values. This information was not as readily available to past generations as it is to millennials. And that’s a good thing, being able to feel someone out before emotionally opening yourself. We have immediate access to Facebook likes, Instagram posts, tweets, and other things that can help us determine the personality of the person on the screen.

We have a lot to learn about these new apps as means of finding love or friendship. And while this experiment may prove futile in the face of emotions and statistics, I have learned a lot about myself and what I want in a potential partner. I know that I need someone who is willing to deal with my past of being emotionally abused, and I need to be willing to open myself more to someone. I have found out a lot through reading messages from men who were outright asking me for naked pictures in their first message. I have learned that a lot of men in college are unsure, unconfident, and very willing to put themselves on the line. I hope, from this project, that we can all learn, together, how our new age of dating works; but, for now, we are all trapped in the hell of “no labels” and constant wondering if we are normal in our ways. Let me be the first to say, there is NOTHING wrong with casually dating, hooking up, or one night standing it with someone. And it is OKAY to not want to do any of that, either. But, it is NOT okay to judge others in their search for themselves and their sexuality. We need to be understanding of each other as we move into the digital age of dating, and our first step needs to be erasing the stigma surrounding casual dating.