#her pursuing a romance with him is wishful thinking and wanting too much from him in her mind

[starry-nights12]

Currently in the midst of writing a mutual pinning timebomb fic.

Jinx's thinking is: He's such an amazing person. Anyone would be lucky to have him. Who wouldn't? I know I would.

But he wouldn't feel the same way. Friendship is one thing but dating me? That's crossing the line.

Besides, Ekko's always been confident. Even If he like-liked me, he would have said something.

Meanwhile, Ekko is internally screaming: Gods, help me, she's looking at me. She's beautiful.

How do I confess my love to her without looking stupid? What if she rejects me? I'll just embarrass myself. I have to do it. JUST FUCKING SAY IT!!!

[sotc]

as fun as it is to talk about the sillay crow family dynamics, i'm soo interested in what this means for the crow familia going forward in a darker lens.

im mostly speaking from the perspective of a rook de riva who romanced lucanis btw <3

illario brought the axe down on his own head after failing to take first talon. he's imprisoned except to play house whenever caterina wants to see him around for family dinners before tensions inevitably shove him back into the cage he's been left to like some house pet lmfao. it's actually kinda fucked up and as a certified sicko i love it. especially considering the casualness in which lucanis describes all of this. crows gotta be a little unhinged<3

But!!! while lucanis was right that illario's reputation is ruined forever as a traitor crow beaten to his knees before every house that doesn't exactly free house dellamorte either. Talon houses will want their pound of flesh of illario for nearly trying to put antiva under venatori control. and yet lucanis refused. house dellamorte showed mercy. they are breaking the rules, making exceptions. this is not how the crows operate and there should--WILL be retaliations for it. illario left this house bleeding in his attempt to claim first talon and their blood is in the water now with house dellamorte having a sole heir who blatantly exposed a weakness and seemingly has no lineage to take after him.

and nevermind that we know murmurs amongst the crows will linger about a first talon being an abomination. i know lucanis kind of handwaves it off as at the coffee date like 'there could be worst first talons' but baby boy, you have avoidance and denial issues this WILL become worse of a problem the longer it goes on. <3

more under the cut bc i didn't realize this was getting so long lol

but in comes fifth talon viago de riva. a bastard to the king of antiva who wants to strengthen the crown. a man who has been ruthlessly exacting and meticulous to get where he is now. and the scariest part is that he has ambition, always has, and knows he has more power than the king himself to make plays if he needs to. this makes for a dangerous (and sexy) combination. in comes his protege rook. casting silly family dynamics aside, viago knows this union between house dellamorte and de riva is extremely beneficial for both houses but also very dangerous. even he knows his ties to teia show a weakness in him that other crows may seek to exploit. and while i do think he may be sincere about wanting rook to find their happiness with lucanis as he has with teia - i truly think he will not shy from showing the importance of a 'political alliance/union' especially with first talon house dellamorte struggling from the blow after all is said and done.

and of course, by extension to de riva, house cantori and the beautiful lovely miss teia, will be extending her support to strengthen their houses but also herself from any opposition. as much as i love that she's kind of the heart that brings this fucked up lil familia together, i know she is just as cunning and clever to recognize what this alliance does for her too.

and caterina.. well, without going into a whole thought piece on her, she has built her (and her grandson's reputation) entirely to instill fear in others, even command enough respect to know she's the one running things while lucanis is just a stand-in as first talon. but what happens when caterina is gone? another dellamorte dead just like all the others. all lucanis has left is himself and his traitor brother. how does he handle illario? how does he fair being a leader to the crows when he didn't want any of this in the first place and no longer has caterina to guide him? how does he wish to pursue carrying the dellamorte legacy (if at all)? does he seek a protege of his own to take on after him? i can't remember who says it (viago or lucanis) but there's a line about how saving thedas will make their houses immortal (hot and very sexy) but also how far can that reputation protect house dellamorte, really?

i don't really have a point to all of this, this is all just stuff im simply chewing on and letting out into the ether because the ripple effect of repercussions with what illario did and what lucanis now has to deal with fascinates me SO MUCH.

[sidthedollface2]

A Crown fit for a God

Pairing: Azriel x Fem Reader, Eris x Fem Reader

Summary: Azriel sees you tearfully reading and asks Elain for help with a gift.

Warnings: Pining, talks of war, mostly fluff, Elain (it's fine don't worry) hurt/comfort/no comfort.

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: This belongs with a mini series I’m currently working on but it can be read as a stand alone. I’m not a writer so keep that in mind if you find mistakes. Lol.

Azriel watched from afar as you tenderly stroked the soft petals of a daisy. Your eyes closed as you deeply inhaled the floral scent. A soft smile spread across your face, enjoying the fragrance. Azriels heart beat wildly in his chest at the sight.

You sat on a bench next to a shallow pond, small fish and turtles leisurely swimming about. The sun was high in the sky, rays of light breaking through the trees, casting you in a divine glow. From your small satchel you pulled out your beloved book. One of young romance and finding true love, definitely not one of Nestas collection. The novel was about two friends sent to fight a war, similar to the war you fought in. The male had been caught by the enemy, with no way to tell his partner, she assumed he had passed leaving her to fight not only the war alone but live a life without her mate.

Azriel's heart clenched as you softly cried into the book, wiping the tears that rolled down your hot cheeks. He envisioned himself sitting beside you, his arm wrapped around your shoulders, tucked in close to his side. Peppering kisses to your temple, soothing your broken heart kiss by kiss. His daydream was interrupted as Rhys requested him mind to mind.

That afternoon Azriel sat next to Elain in her garden, thinking of you and how all these flowers would be jealous of not only your beauty but of your heart as well. He wished to bring you expensive and thoughtful things, place them at your feet like the God that you were, if only to see that shy smile once again.

He shouldn't have asked, but his mouth moved faster than his brain, “Elain, do you think you can show me how to make a flower crown?” he internally winced. Although he ended things with her the moment he saw you, they still remained acquaintances. He couldn’t bear pursuing you while he was bedding her. It wasn’t fair to drag her along when deep down he knew she wasn't what he truly desired. She was pretty and attractive by fae standards but you were incomparable. An exquisite work of art crafted by the first Gods.

“Azriel, is this for…..” she tried to say your name but it hurt too much. Jealousy ran through her, itching to deny him this simple request.

“Yes, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me –”

“Sit,” she relented, patting the space next to her. “What flowers does she like?”

Azriel took a moment to think, scratching at his chin in concentration.

“Hmm, I’m afraid I don’t know what flower she likes.” He slumped, already feeling useless in his attempt at a sweet gesture.

“That's ok, flowers also have meaning. What do you wish to convey to her?”

“Love.”

Azriel said with a quickness Elaine had never seen before.

“You love her.” Elain stated, smiling at Azriel with pride.

“More than I ever thought possible.” Azriel confirmed with a soft sigh as he cut the stem of a vibrant red rose. “But I don’t want to tell her just yet. Oh, she does enjoy the smell of daisies,” he remembered, picking the white daisies within his reach.

“Then daisies will do.”

Once Azriel gathered enough daisies he proceeded to twist them one by one just as Elain instructed. Holding two daisies, Azriel loops one over the stem of the other making a knot. One by one he loops more daisies to the main stem until it creates a crown large enough to fit on top of your pretty head. Once the main crown is done, he gathers green lace fern and baby's breath intertwining them between the daisies to make the crown appear vibrant and bountiful.

With a friendly hug he thanks Elain for her help and stalks off with a bounce in his step, eager to present his gift to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Azriel finds you sitting on the wooden bench once again. It had been days since he saw you, Rhys having sent him on a mission before he had a chance to give you the crown. He makes himself known by clearing his throat, “May I join you?” He asks, glancing at the spot next to you, his hands held behind his back.

“Oh! Yes of course.” You glance up at him, noticing he’s not in his usual leathers but a navy collared shirt . It fits him perfectly. Snug around the diameter of his muscular arms and toned pecs. His strong thighs stretch the fabric of his sleek pants, as he takes the seat next to you, gently brushing his thigh against yours.

“I’m sorry to disrupt your reading, but I brought something you might need.”

Azriel then pulled out a blue box with a silver bow from a pocket of shadow, and handed it to you. Surprised at this unexpected gift, you remove the ribbon and within the box folded neatly was a lace handkerchief.

“If it’s real, it will never be over.” Azriel jerked his chin toward your book and your eyes widened.

“You’ve read it?” You beamed, clutching your beloved book to your chest. Holding it near your heart that wanted to desperately find someone. Someone willing to go into battle for the chance to be loved. A chance to find their equal in a world of undeserving immortals.

Azriel smiled and you melted at the sight, he was the light in the dark, a beacon lighting your way and you a moth to the flame.

“Yes, I’ve read it. It gets quite emotional towards the end.”

Azriel looked down with disappointment in his eyes, “I had got you something else, but I’m afraid it wilted before I was able to give it to you.”

You placed your hand on top of his. Azriel didn't flinch but relished in the warmth of your touch. “I’d still like to see it, if that's alright with you?”

Azriel nodded and his shadows carried the fragile crown, gently placing it in your lap. Azriel cheeks flushed, witnessing the cool shadows brushing against the softness of your cheek. For the first time ever he was jealous of them, he wanted to be the one to reach out and touch you, be gentle and tender towards you.

He wasn't known for soft things but for you he’d learn. For you he’d make flower crowns and read romantic books. He’d sit next to you and listen as the wind rustled through the trees, breathing in the citrus scent of your hair and the delicate perfume on your skin.

“I love it.” You gasp, gently thumbing at the browned petals, each touch bringing the flower back to its natural unwithered state. Your touch had the power to bring life to what once was. Flowers, once withered and decayed, are brought back to health. Animals that had been injured or hunted; a single touch healed and brought them back to vitality. Azriel smiled brightly at the display of your magic, “of course you’d be able to fix broken things. Perhaps,” he stalled, looking at his hands, “perhaps you’d be able to fix me too?”

You followed his line of sight, understanding the meaning behind his self-deprecation. Slowly you held his hands in yours, grasping them tightly hoping he’d understand the importance of your words. “Azriel, there's nothing to fix because you're not broken. All your flaws, all your imperfections, it’s what I adore about you.”

Azriels heart could explode, you wound him with your sweet words and gentle touches.

He hopes you’ll want all his flaws, all his imperfections and all his mistakes. He’s had many that's true, regrets that he can't undo, a darkness that can swallow him whole. But despite all his wrongdoings he can only hope you’ll choose him.

With nothing to hold him back slowly he leans forward, a scarred palm cups your soft face and he almost pulls back. Glancing between your supple lips and radiant eyes, he licks his lips closing the distance between–

“ I hope I'm not disrupting.”

Startled, you quickly pull away coming to a stand, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Azriel clenches his jaw, as he stands towering over the Autumn heir in a show of dominance.

Stepping around the winged illyrian, Eris sideyes the boxed gift and flower crown with a look of annoyance and distaste. Before Eris can snatch it, Azriel carefully picks it up and steps in front of you, placing the crown softly on your head. You're breathtaking. He attentively adjusts the strands of hair that frame your face, rubbing your silky waves between his fingers, so much softer than he imagined. Soon, Azriel thinks. He’ll be able to keep you, If you choose to be his of course.

Reminding you of his presence Eris breaks the tension, “It’s time to go love.”

“Will they find eachother again? Once the war is over?” you ask, pleading that true love can withstand even the most violent of battles.

Please tell me love finds a way.

Before Azriel can answer, Eris swiftly pulls you away, wrapping his arm tightly around your waist, squeezing your hip, where he branded your body in a bargain. He kisses the corner of your mouth, looking over his shoulder with a smirk at a seething Azriel.

Azriels deep sultry voice carries in the wind, “in the middle of the chaos on the battlefield, he finds her. And she finally tells him –”

Your hopeful eyes are the last thing he sees as Eris winnows you away, leaving Azriel with three little words whispered in the air. A confession Azriel will one day be brave enough to purr between heated kisses and embraced bodies.

I love you.

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Male Yandere Deep Sea-Creature x Female Mermaid Reader x Male Yandere Human

I don’t think you’ve ever done 2 yanderes pursuing the same darling, so think you could try it? (Unless I’m just stupid and aren’t remembering your other stories right)

We all know of the classic mercreature x human forbidden romance story, but what if there was another from the same marine world added into the mix? Yandere deep sea-creature is also in love with mermaid reader darling, so imagine what he’d do to keep her with him. Same goes for yandere human

This story you can hopefully have fun with as there’s so many ways it can turn out. And another note on why deep sea-creature…it was because I think a merman can be a bit boring, and it’d be interesting to explore a deep sea-creature instead (or straight up eldritch monster of your own creation). Just remember…deep sea-creatures usually get bigger the deeper you go. Much bigger thanks to deep sea gigantism…;)

(Re-sending this to you, because you said you only got 3 requests when I think I sent you 4. But if you had this request, just ignore this ask with this additional message at the end)

Thanks!!! 💝

Yandere! Male! Deep sea creature x mermaid! Fem! Reader x Human! Male! Hunter

OH THIS IS A DOOZY TO WRITE

By the way, guess whose birthday it is today (Hint: it's me LOL)

Got a little bit sidelined on this fic, but i tried. Two men pursuing darling ain't for me but for you, 💝anon, I'll do it ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

This one starts with (and focuses on) you, the reader, since I can't exactly make a yandere man focused fic with two men without making it really long. So unfortunately I cannot put that much of their lore.

Wait, so what does this mean? Do they belong to the same number, or separate? (I mean, I am targeting 16 yanderes in one set. So do they count as one or nah? Eh...)

Yandere! Deep Sea creature name: Viper (from the viperfish) Yandere! Hunter: Orion

It was truly an unfortunate day for you.

You, a mermaid living in the ocean, swimming freely without any people's judgements and even other mermaids.

You aren't exactly a woman of fear.

You love exploring. It's one of your favorite hobbies and actively seek out new thrills and discoveries.

In a world where mer/werpeople were still a newly discovered concept by humans, your folks were adamant on telling you to keep safe from them. Since humans are cruel and what not.

But you didn't care. You wish to see humans and their inventions.

Because of this, you became an outcast from your people, and live on your own in one of the trenches. Just a tad far away from oceanic civilization.

You felt bad for yourself, honestly. Why can't they just accept you're just thirsty for knowledge?

You want to swim up top, where the sun shines and the huge boats reside, with legged people running around in water vehicles. You want to know how they operated it, how they made it, and stuff like that.

Contrary to popular belief, Humans are the uneducated ones. They went on for years upon years not knowing about wer/merpeople other than their mythologies. Yet these other species had always blended with them seamlessly.

Foolish, but that's what made them fascinating for you.

But you only knew what's up above, but not...

The current suddenly felt cold as you lounged at one of the trench dugouts, and you looked down from your side.

It was deep. Too deep for you to explore.

You love the light, but hate the dark.

And it was dark down there. An eerie, dark blue of emptiness.

You're the only one in this abandoned trench, teeming with other sea life other than merpeople, with corals so beautiful and sea anemones that sway with the waters.

But as the trench go down... And down... And down...

They decreased in numbers till they got swallowed by the darkness.

You heard of deep sea merpeople sometimes, but a lot agreed to not look for them. For they are hideous and ugly. Some use them as a scare tactic for young merchildren, that these hideous and large merpeople will eat them alive.

Unfortunately, you believed those stories due to your parents drilling it in your head to not head down.

You shook your head and grabbed your bag, before swimming upwards as you saw a weird mechanism suddenly being dropped in the water via a boat.

You swam around it, curious to this weird ball. It's clearly cut in half then somehow glued together. It's tied to a rope, with little baits decorating the sides.

"Weird, how do humans catch fishes with this?" You asked to yourself, tilting your head as you swatted away the fishes from trying to eat the baits.

Curiosity got a hold of you though. And as you accidentally pulled a bait out from trying to carefully remove it, the ball bursts open and spews out a net, catching you off guard as you got enveloped by the fishnet.

"WHA--?!" As you got enveloped, your body got hauled back to the surface.

Your heart is beating wildly as you broke through the water tension. You can feel the heat of the sun now enveloping your body, which was once only can be felt by your face. You can feel the water dripping from your body down to the waters below, and the net digging onto your skin as your weight made the machine creek.

"Oh? A mermaid?"

A sultry voice said, snapping you from your fear. You looked up, and saw not two, but only one human in such a big boat.

He stood tall, with long legs in a fitted pair of pants and boots. He's wearing a dress shirt that hung loosely on his torso in an inserted fashion. He had a hooded look in his face, examining you over.

"This is the first time I saw a mermaid. Hey there, love." He said again in that voice that made you shiver.

He leans to the edge of the boat, his elbows on the railings. Looking at you with an inquisitve look.

"My name's Orion, love. What's yours?" He asked in a deep tone that made you gulp.

"Y/N..." You whispered, gripping your bag.

"Pretty name for a pretty mermaid." He smiled and you flushed red.

Due to being a recluse, you never got the chance to find a lover, let alone a mate.

As you started to dry out a bit, you scratched your skin, uncomfortable from the direct heat.

Orion saw this and went to the machine.

You curiously looked at what he's doing, trembling from the sudden realization that you're so close to a human invention!

You clutched your bag once more and intently watched as Orion hummed and pulled the lever, making you jerk back as the machine whirred to life and lowered your net.

"Forgive me, love. Thought I caught a big octopus or a huge school of fish." Orion said, making you nod as your body got immersed with the water.

The net unclasped from the bottom, which was held together by a strong magnet as it retreated back to the ball.

"Thank you, Orion." You whispered.

"No problem, love. I'm sorry for catching you like that again." Orion chuckled at your voice.

You didn't make a move from your place, still so curious about the boat. Orion noticed it and chuckled once more.

"Want to know stuff about boats?" He asked and you nodded eagerly. "Alright."

And, as Orion and you talked the afternoon off, you didn't notice a pair of eyes from down, down below look at you with such intensity, hostile.

Orion. A rich man who got a vessel by himself to know more about sealife, hunt them, and display them as catches.

He's always been interested marine life. Living by the seaside most of his life due to his yacht investing father and a beach resort owner mother, he's drawn to the sea in more ways than one.

Due to being mostly by the sea, he developed such tan skin that glistens under the sun whenever he walks by the port. Plus the way his face is built, he looks like a Carribean prince waiting for his mermaid to appear on the beach while not being able to speak.

But due to his parents' financial status, most of the time he only spends time by himself. Other children his age in that port town were intimidated. Despite him trying to be friendly, he can't catch himself a friend at all.

That goes for lovers too. Yeah, there are people who are brave. But in the end, they get overwhelmed from his clinginess.

This made him more clingy and possessive.

He just doesn't want them to run away. He's too lonely for such an extroverted man like him. And with so much love (baggage) to give, how can he make somebody stay in such a demanding and overwhelming way?

It's honestly a draining cycle for both him and the lovers he had.

Now, he only hunts fishes and and examine them. If they're edible, he eats them. If it's interesting, he taxidermies them somehow.

Then, while testing a new net system he developed, he catches a mermaid, you.

He's surprised, but got his heart speared when he saw your clear, fearful, yet curious eyes.

You're so pretty that he swore he's in heaven rather than the sea.

For the first time, an aggressive want to make you his filled him inside that it scared even him.

But he doesn't want to scare you. So, rather than being overwhelming immediately, he took his time.

Why not start with fulfilling your thirst for knowledge?

Everyday, he goes back to that specific spot only for you. You always asked him about his boat, about the machinery, about technology that he brought... He filled your head with information that made you so giddy it was adorable in his eyes.

But he can't shake off the feeling of somebody staring at them. It's honestly unsettling. Sure, it may be other merfolks, but you swore that nobody other than you goes here.

It's strange, but he shrugs it off. He's happy to solo you anyways.

What you didn't know is that he's already ordered a large aquarium type habitat on his home. The size of city wide aquariums of sharks, whales, etc. He made sure to put everything that he thinks you will like.

He wants you in his arms.

He wants to jump down to the sea, hug you in such a tight embrace, and devour your salty lips that will probably taste so sweet on his tongue.

You're so sweet, inquisitive, kind, and understanding. Too lovable. And just thinking that other merfolk have interacted with you before and some probably saw you as a potential mate darkens his mood to no end.

He hasn't tried hunting mermaids yet, should he?

Somehow, he's grateful that you're a social outcast. That means he could just solo you like this.

Not until you didn't show up in a meeting, and his heart dropped to the floor.

Hours before the daily meeting.

You plucked some kelp from a nearby kelp farm that you personally oversee. Hungry, you rolled some and continued to find more proper kelp to join in a fish salad.

Hey, some sealife here are the equivalent of meat consumables for humans.

Getting some oysters, you continued to get food for dinner when a light flashed from your peripheral vision.

"Hmm?" Your body swayed as you looked to the side where the light came from.

Putting what you got in your basket, you swam to the trenches again and tried to find where the light came from.

Some fishes got out of your way as you tried to find it once more, before it flashed again.

"Aha! Now, where... Huh?"

The flash came from the deepest part of the trenches.

The cold current got to you again, and you shivered.

It flashed again, enticing you to swim closer.

But you knew not to do it.

The stories of the deep sea merpeople flashed your mind again, and you almost shrieked in fear from the memories.

But the light is so enticing...

"Just a bit..."

You swam down, passing by the corals and the anemones. Your heartrate picked up, feeling the cold current once more.

Then, you noticed how the corals and anemones are thinning out, but you pushed through, telling yourself that it's not that far.

It's really not that far... Right?

The light flashed once more, now a bit bigger.

So, with a burst of energy and the adrenaline, you swam harder, wanting to see what's the flashing light is.

Then, the light went out.

You gasped in fear and astonishment as suddenly, it got so dark.

With nothing around you at all. Not even the trenches' walls kept you company as the vast, dark nothingness filled your vision.

Cold currents on warm waters, water rippling around you as if some kind of entity kept swimming past you, and you swore you saw beady eyes look at you from afar.

Should you go up?

But wait, where is up?

You felt your stomach drop.

Then, the flashing light blinded you, making you yelp and cover your eyes.

Feeling a sense of deja vu, you felt a presence in front of you.

No, around you.

You trembled, not wanting to open your eyes, but you knew you have to face whatever was in front of you.

So you opened your eyes, and almost shrieked once more from the person in front of you.

He's huge. With beady, ghost like eyes and sharp teeth as he unhinges his jaw in such a grotesque way that made you squirm in how uncomfortable it is to look at. His antenna, the one flashing, shone in now a dimly light as he swerves his body around you. Almost coiling his tail on your body.

He's triple your length, maybe quadruple even. And he laughs deeply at your scared face. He had a sick joy flashing his eyes before he tilted his head.

"Upper Dweller, didn't know you would follow my light." His voice, a ghost like quality with such roughness that it's gravelly. "I'm surprised you're still alive with such curiosity inside of you. Tell me, little one, what's your name?"

"Y/N..." You gulped, cowering from his stature as he swam around you once more.

He looked so creepy, yet had this look that's attracting you to him. Is it the antenna? Who knows.

"A name that matches you." He chuckles and you squirm. Was it a good thing or bad?

"My name's Viper. Nice to meet you, Upper Dweller Y/N." He smiles, his jaw now back in its place yet the sharp teeth still shone. "Hmm... Tiny mermaid, so easy to crush..."

He fully coiled his tail around you, and it felt so cold. The scales felt so cold and uncomfortable against your own tail and skin.

"You dwell on the trenches that nobody dares to live due to being the entrance to my lair." He whispers, closing his face against yours. "Did the people not tell you that?"

You felt your blood run colder than usual. Nobody did. Did they send you there knowing a deep sea dweller lives at the bottom?

Suddenly, you felt helpless against his hold as you realized that you got sent to your what's essentially your death.

Viper smiles from your reaction as he kept himself from pulling you down to the abyss completely.

The first time you got to the trenches, Viper was thoroughly surprised. The abandoned trenches suddenly got a resident once more? Who's the stupid mermaid who dares to live on his what's essentially a frontyard?

And he got a good look on you. Despite being of a viperfish specie, his ghost like eyes were useful for him, making him look at your face fully even though the distance is so far.

You. You look so precious, so pure as you swam around above. So small and puny that just one bite from his powerful jaw can crack you open.

But he didn't lure you yet, just observed his prey as you swam around, trying to watch the boats on the surface.

Viper's a lonely man.

Deep sea merfolk are rare, and in this place, it was only him.

So, he never really got the proper education on what to do in social contexts. Not like he had a chance to do so.

The only time he got is when people still reside the trenches up above when he's still a fry. They looked so happy and chatty, friendly and kind.

And he wants to experience it too.

So, he swam up, trying to form relationships, but this only scared the merfolk away from the ghost like appearance of Viper and his sheer size despite being only a fry back then.

And all of them left the trenches.

It broke small Viper's heart, and he steeled them in the years to come.

But now, you moved in.

Fortunately, Viper's in that age that he's finding a mate to be with for life.

And, with how much he observed you, taking in your smiles, curious glances up above, and fearful looks you gave down below, he slowly fell in love with you.

Well, in one way or another.

So, when he saw you talking to this puny human, he knew he had to make his move.

So, he lured you here.

"Little one..." He whispered, nudging your hand open with his sharp claws.

You opened it nervously, and gasped in terror as he gave you a black pearl.

A symbol of wanting to be mates.

"NO!" You screamed in fear as you got the strength to break free and swim with all your might up to the surface.

Viper growled and tried to catch up with you.

"COME HERE!"

You shrieked in terror as his hand is only a smidge away from your tail.

The darkness slowly got lighter, and you were tired from exhaustion but you knew you cannot stop.

Viper was angry. How dare you reject him! A little upper-dweller that he can just crush with one hand yet he graciously let live reject his offer to be his mate?

But the light got too much for him, and he had to hiss and retreat.

"You will be back." He whispered, watching your retreating figure. "I just know it."

Viper remembers the other man, the human, who somehow saw through him one day when he observed the both of you. Viper felt the hostility and bloodlust from him as he looked directly at where Viper is.

Viper swore up and down it's just coincidence, but the way Orion's eyes never left his spot was unsettling. How can Orion even see Viper?

But Viper knew that this man is not an easy opponent.

So he retreats...

And Orion also retreats as he realized you aren't going to be in the meeting place today.

Two men. One up above, and one below.

Both wants you in their arms.

One will offer you the light but in such a restrictive way,

And the other will offer you the darkness filled with uncertainty but within the waters you know and love.

So, who will it be, love?

Time is ticking, little one.

It will not be long until these two go face to face.

And one will not live to see the tale.

[faded-if]

DEMO (TBA)

Have you ever had everything you thought you wanted? Everything you could ever dream of just within your grasp? Only to find out it was all built on quicksand?

You were the lead singer in the most popular band to grace the music industry in over a decade-- breaking records, amassing fame and fortune, and launching your career into a height you never believed possible. Everything was going great, better than you could ever hope to imagine, until it wasn't. Until everything started to fall apart. The dreams you had thought you wanted, the life you thought you'd be able to build, began to crumble around you.

So, you did the only thing you thought you could do, you ran. Left the band that you had created within a garage back in high school, and the people that had been with you through it all, behind. Never thought you'd go back, that you'd simply fade into obscurity, but the past has a way of catching up with you. Even after five years of being away, you'll always find your way back home.

Just like you find yourself back in the world you thought you'd left behind for the Legacy Tour-- an event that could right all of the wrongs you had caused.

Will you be able to save what's left of your career, your relationships, and your passion for music? Or will it all simply fade away once more?

Faded is rated 18+ for explicit language, sexual themes, drug/alcohol use, potential violence, morally questionable behavior, and more!

✯ FEATURES ✯

Customizable MC: name, nickname, appearance, gender, hobbies, facets of your personality, various vices, public image, and more!

Delve back into the world of the music industry! Will your MC enjoy being back or secretly long for the simplicity that they have carved out for themself?

Create your own music! Will you share it during the Legacy Tour? Wherein millions could finally hear the true story behind why you departed so swiftly?

Engage in romance with a variety of characters! Some may cause more gossip than others, and be notable for the tabloids, but it's all in the name of love!

Interact with fans, new and old, and discover what they think of your departure. Will you be able to win some of them back?

✯ THE ROs ✯

Hudson Lock ✯ He/Him, 26 ✯ A fan that still remembers when you had met years before; citing that you're the reason he has pursued his passion for photography. His passion, as well as his fervent drive to do better, is something to be commended-- especially when it's focused in the manner it seems to be during the Legacy Tour.

"You've been someone I've looked up to for so long, I hope that I can be someone you can rely on when it counts too."

Noah/Nora Fox ✯ He/Him or She/Her, 28 ✯ Your oldest friend and the person that had helped create the band with you-- the only person that had believed in you during the earlier days. The very same person that can barely look you in the eyes, and has shifted from a happy ray of sunshine to the classic partier that sleeps around. Will you be able to fix what's been broken?

Special Romance: Choose to have simply been best friends with them or have been in a relationship prior to you leaving.

"I hate how much I love you sometimes, I hate that it's still your face that I want to see first thing in the morning and the last thing I see at night. I fucking hate that you destroyed me, yet you still hold all the shattered pieces."

Angelina Thorne ✯ She/Her, 28 ✯ The woman that has taken over for you within the band. With an attitude as fiery as her hair, Angelina isn't one to back down from a challenge, especially if she feels threatened. It'll take a while to break down her walls, but she may just be worth the effort.

"I don't know what bugs me more. The fact that you're here or the fact that I can't fucking stand it when you're not."

Elijah/Elizabeth Knight ✯ He/Him or She/Her, 34 ✯ Your old manager hasn't changed in the slightest; barring that they're no longer married. You don't know how you feel about the news, nor do you wish to comprehend what it could potentially mean, but you do know that nothing would ever happen as long as they kept you at arm's length.

Special Romance: Choose to have had a crush on them, but nothing ever happened because they were married.

"You are, and will always be, my only exception."

Jaime Winters ✯ They/Them, 28 ✯ One of the few people you've let close to you within your new "normal" life. They're not the most talkative person, which you can appreciate, but they always make sure you know that they're listening, and they can brighten any room with a signature smile of theirs. Plus, when they do get comfortable their teasing quips and sly remarks can lighten the mood if needed.

"You're still you. You'll never be anyone else to me. I don't care how famous you are."

Harry/Harley Sharpe ✯ He/Him or She/Her, 29 ✯ A security officer that's been placed to protect you, and the band as a whole, during the duration of the Legacy Tour. They seem to be overall a gentle individual, surprising given their career choice, but their drive to protect and serve creates quite an intimidating presence for anyone wishing to cause you harm. Will you be able to resist their gentle eyes and understanding nature?

"I don't know why this happened, or if it's smart that it's continuing to happen, but I can't stop. I don't know if I'd even want to if I could."

[oldmisfortune]

MC is meant to be "inconsistent" with the boys because she has a different relationship dynamic with each one. It took a long time for her to be "nice" to Rafayel, and even now there are options to tease and bully him. The people who say MC is mean and want her to be worried about him are misogynists who believe women owe men who show affection or sacrifice anything. If Sylus was ugly and they thought him cringe, they would not be saying she owes him any kindness for his feelings or choices to save her. In fact, they would see it as him being disrespectful of her boundaries when she already said "no." Let's not forget she blocked him from socials but he still saw her posts through Luke and Kieran. This behavior would NOT fly if Sylus were the men these people might have faced IRL who don't take no for an answer and expect reciprocation and pursue women to exhaust them into a relationship on the excuse that it's "courtship."

Hi, anon!

Long reply ahead because I think your opinion is incorrect. I wish to simply debate your statement and it is by no means an attack towards you or your opinions but simply a discussion of it.

Firstly, about the MC’s change in personality, I don’t really know, as I mentioned, because I didn’t look too deeply at MC’s dialogue and I’m still relatively new to the game. It’s just a vibe I got and I thought it was worth noting. Your argument does stand. She could simply be reacting differently depending on the boy but again, I haven’t looked into it.

As for the rest:

Let me rephrase your statement so we’re sure we’re on the same page. You believe that people think MC should be nicer to Sylus because of misogyny. Misogyny is the dislike and prejudice against women, meaning you believe that these people have a level of engrained hate/prejudice that makes them favor a man over the MC, a women. Specifically because he’s conventionally attractive. And if he wasn’t conventionally attractive, people wouldn’t want MC to be nice to him, they would even go as far as to hate him for his behaviors. Correct?

I don’t personally think you are correct.

I hope that you were simply trying to educate me on the matter and not accusing me, because if you were, we need to have a different conversation all together. I’ll still reassure you and say that it’s not the case for me. I wasn’t condemning her behavior in my post, nor was I condoning it. I even stated that MC has the right to be mean, and honestly, I considered her too kind at first.

And I agree that some of his behavior is terrifying in real life. I would even venture to say that it shouldn’t be romanticized and that Infold shouldn’t have taken so much inspiration from dark romance to begin with. I’ll never excuse his behavior nor should anyone. HOWEVER, this is a fictional character. As long as these behaviors remain fictional and aren’t being accepted or sought or romanticized IRL, I think people should like what they like even if we don’t understand why they like it.

But I’m diverging.

We're trying to understand the answer to this question: Why are people upset enough by how mean MC can seem towards Sylus? And let’s not focus on the game but on the fandom.

I believe that it’s far more simple than misogyny. Players like Sylus. MC is supposed to be an insert for the players. MC perceived as mean to Sylus. Players don’t want to be mean to Sylus because they like his character. Thus, MC is no longer a proper self-insert for the players. The immersion is broken. Players are angry.

I think that the players would be just as angry if MC was mean to any of the other LIs in a way that they didn’t see as fair. And I’m not talking about teasing. I’m talking mean enough to break the immersion. And I think that for a lot of people, at least those complaining, this breaks their immersion and dampens their enjoyment of the game. I could be incorrect but I've seen this happen in other fandom for other games.

From now on, I’m just babbling but I think it’s worth mentioning. What I do believe is misogyny is more fandom on fandom hate rather than hate for MC. Let me explain. I’ve seen on tiktok creators getting harassed for not liking certain LIs, mischaracterizing the LIs, and for out of character headcanons. The creators that were harassed and that I know of are women and they were attacked by other women for the sake of a fictional male character. That can be argued to be misogyny and this is where we should direct our focus towards instead, making this fandom a community a safe space for everyone even if we don’t agree on certain things or like the same characters.

[makedonsgriva]

Devil Venerable Also Wants To Know : A Review

So I generally don't do reviews. But going through the tumblr tag and then on AO3 and seeing the abysmal amount of posts and fanfics, I am writing this review in hopes of someone reading this and then getting convinced by my agenda.

Because Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know deserves to be read by yall.

IT. IS. SO. GOOD.

To summarize, we start with the leader of the demonic Xuanyuan Sect, Wenren E, getting a copy of a trashy romance novel, Abusive Romance.

What baffles him is that he, a logical, rational person who has never felt love in his life, is the second lead and falls in love with the Mary Sue female lead and gives up everything for her and dies in the end for her too.

What makes him even more confused that after he dies in the novel, his loyal subordinate Yin Hanjiang is driven to madness and is hell bent on revenge, pursuing the female lead to kill her.

Wenren E decides that this cannot be allowed. He is not afraid of death, (although he does mind that it was for a stupid reason and not on his own terms) but he very much minds the fact that his subordinate went insane after it. So he sets out to re write destiny.

Now let's talk about the highlights of this book

The Characters

DVAWTK is full of interesting, fun and exciting characters who will remain etched in your memory. Whether it is the sensuous, ruthless and ambitious Shu Yanyan or the wise, perceptive and kind Zhongli Qian, there is a multitude of characters to pick from to love and adore and all of them have deeper and hidden depths that give them layers of complexities.

Not to mention, DVAWTK has several strong and amazing female characters. I have mostly read MXTX books and this is where she lacks the most: hardly any strong female characters. She writes shockingly amazing characters but most of them are male and I mostly don't mind but I do wish I got some great girls to cherish in there too.

Cyan Wings does not disappoint in that aspect. All their female characters are wonderfully well fleshed out. Especially Baili Qingmiao. Seeing her go from the biggest girlfailure to an absolute girlboss over 70 something chapters is satisfying in a sense the way, and I quote the book here, "one feels about their first daughter finally grow up" Chef's kiss truly.

The Plot

The plot is engaging but nothing too crazy, if I am being honest. Apart from a couple of reveals and plot twists that were shocking, it mostly stuck to a more or less predictible story line. That does not mean it was not good; it was. Most of the arcs keep you engaged enough to keep reading without being able to put the story down and tie into each other seamlessly. As such, there are no plot holes and stupid or unnecessary story lines. It works very well to support the characters and their personal growth and arcs.

The Humour

Top notch. So well done. Got me laughing out loud multiple times and earned me a lot of weird looks from my roommate but all worth it. SVSSS was the funniest work I read but DVAWTK gives it a run for its money in terms of the comedy it has and also it's general unhinged-ness, mostly thanks to it's characters. Everyone at the Demonic Xuanyuan Sect is a goofball although they are not trying to be. The skeleton lady Qiu Congxue has no brains. Literally. A ghost ate it so you can guess just how well she is faring in the books.

(she still is immensely powerful tho)

The Romance

So far the biggest freaks I had found while reading Danmei are Mo Ran and Luo Binghe.

Yin Hanjiang is a hundred times worse.

He is an absolute psycho, a complete nutter, powerful beyond comprehension and hopelessly devoted to Wenren E. And Wenren E, once realising his own feelings, thinks it is all so hot!! (makes you really wonder just who is more insane among the two)

My subordinate wants to destroy the entire cultivation world after my death? He has my full support that's so cute of him <3

Freak4freak with some very beautiful and tender moments and an absolute badass power couple who kick ass together in battles. Truly amazing. I love love love wenrenjiang.

The World building

Wonderfully well done and also easy to follow! I especially liked how cultivation was viewed from a different light in this novel and how the book explores the ways it is actually harmful to mortals. I actually learnt a lot about various cultivation stages from this novel and came to understand some common aspects of xianxia novels. DVAWTK uses many technical terms in terms of cultivation and it is fun to read and learn about it

Found Family

Need I say more? Like what's better than a bunch of idiots coming together and growing on their journey thanks to each other? *gently holds Su Huai, Baili Qingmiao, Qiu Congxue and Zhongli Qian in my palms* they are so important to me

Final Thoughts

DVAWTK is a great read with a very satisfying ending. It keeps you hooked till the very end and I am honestly surprised it is so underrated. I am very glad it is getting an official translation soon so hopefully, it will amass more readers although the unofficial translation I read is also very good. It deserves way more hype and fans then it has because it's so silly, so good and so well done. Ugh I hope it also gets some kind of adaptation some day to make it more popular because it deserves it all.

Please read this novel. That's what I want to say. You will not be disappointed.

[teddywesworl]

ok y'all said you want director's commentary so I'm gonna start by saying a couple things about 🪑 since it recently celebrated 2k kudos

🪑DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY LET'S GO

1.

A fun fact about the poems at the beginning of each chapter is that I took two of the poet's classes in college, and she might be solely responsible for convincing me I was a good writer and should pursue the skill. I don't know how she'd feel about me using her poetry to thematically frame an explicit fanfic, but that's neither here nor there.

As a poet, she (I'm not naming her here in case she might possibly name search on tumblr, lol) is obsessed with transformation and with the discord between the material and spiritual self. Blackberries, Brambles in its entirety goes as follows:

Akhmatova wrote, "O look!—that fresh dark elderberry branch is like a letter from Marina…" And she was right, branches criss- cross, words sharpen. We lop them down, fit them into envelopes. But I forget: you don't do letters: Too much tangled in thickets and desperation. Did I say envelopes? I meant elevators. See, I've snagged favourite sweaters in high rises, snarled hair in hedges, given up skin scrapings for blackberries, tongueburst, the sweet stain, explosion under light canine pressure. Don't you just wish you were a dog sometimes? No panic. Romping through brambles. Even in delirium, near death, Akhmatova remembered. Her bitter friend had been dead a long time. Love. Don't think I'm thinking about you. Anything but you.

Akhmatova here being Russian poet Anna Akhmatova, and the Marina in question is Marina Tsvetaeva. You can go on as much or as little of a research spiral about them as you like; many of the layers of this poem are in the reference to Akhmatova and Tsvetaeva, but I was mostly interested in the commentary on the cost of pleasure. I've snagged favourite sweaters in high rises, snarled hair in hedges, given up skin scrapings for blackberries. What are you willing to pay for happiness? Wouldn't it be nice not to think about it? Wouldn't it be nice not to be afraid to pay?

2.

Obviously the other major literary framing device is A Room With A View. The movie, specifically, but obviously the Forster novel as well. A Room With A View is about the clash between tradition and modernity, familial duty vs. adventure and romance, etc. etc. etc. And like, listen, the Duffers have not put this much thought into Steve Harrington, but his arc, despite them, is that of the ultimate privileged 80s all-American masculine symbol taking a slow, deliberate turn toward Otherness. He was supposed to die a static character. He did not, and now we're all writing fic about it.

I probably didn't need to have Eddie literally whack the point home with a hammer with the you're Lucy line in chapter 2, but here we are.

3.

The other bits of ~Art~ in the Steve chapter are Elton John's The Fox and Bruce Springsteen's The River. As follows:

But if you’re wily, you will leave them lying, snared up in the traps that they set for you, Elton sings. And it’s an evergreen affair— Steve lifts the record out and replaces it with The River. Springsteen sings, you're walkin' tough, baby, but you're walkin' blind and that’s not really better.

The Elton John record, you may recall, was a compromise between Eddie and Nancy. The inclusion of these lines in particular was very vibes-based, but hopefully the vibes are semi-coherent. Snares. Traps. The hunter, the fox. Btw the next lines after these are:

As temptation taunts the fox Into the hunter's waiting lair

Which, okay. Teasing out the vibes just a little. Argyle interprets Nancy as Lucy (and implies, without meaning to, that Steve is Cecil--a character that represents old money and tradition and duty and, like. Being trapped). Nancy would probably also view herself as the titular Fox. And Steve has bought into this line of thinking! He sees himself as the snare! He has internalized the idea of life with him being a trap! He is Bullshit, etc.

Eddie complicates this self-concept. Through him, Steve becomes the Fox and Lucy. Temptation taunts the fox into the hunter's waiting lair, after all. And, you know: 🪑🪢

(The Springsteen lines are just. All Steve.)

Ok I have to go feed some horses. More.... later. eventually.

[essayist-unexpectedly]

any thoughts on the family dynamics on given and how they affect the characters?

I feel like the only family interaction we really get to see is with Uenoyama (his sister/dad). We get a little bit of Mafuyuu with his mom (and Kedama!) and Akihiko’s backstory, but we they don’t really go in depth. (also we get nothing on ugetsu and i would looooove to know more about his life)

Anyways, sorry for the random open-ended question, i love your essays!

first and foremost - thank you! I am super happy to hear you enjoy my essays! it's the biggest compliment I can receive

family dynamics in Given are genuinely something I wish were explored more. believe it or not - I specifically wanted more of Uenoyama's family, even though they are arguably the most developed. and I think I have quite a bit to say on them, so this will likely be quite long.

so starting with the adults, I don't actually mind not learning too much or seeing too much of their families? some adults do grow apart from their families, don't see them as often, it's just how it goes sometimes.

Akihiko does have the bonus of at least giving us that he isn't that close with his family, so that's great, that happens sometimes. I don't feel like I really wanted to learn about Akihiko's family, as he doesn't seem bothered by his not being too close to them. that being said - how they affected him? well, Akihito's father is a violinist in the UK, so that's likely where he got his love of music - especially his learning to play violin. it almost makes me wonder if he was pressured into violin specifically and that was part of why he started drums, as it wouldn't have the same pressure surrounding them. also, his father lives out of country, which likely plays a role in why they aren't that close, as it can be tough to keep contact when far away and with the time difference. I don't remember Akihiko's mother being mentioned, so I have nothing to say about her. my main thoughts are that Akihiko probably naturally drifted as he grew older and was influenced by his father in terms of his education and career (pursuing music but also specifically violin).

now onto Haruki. so he is canonically close with his family, which I think is great! I love that Haruki is a family guy, even if he doesn't necessarily see them after moving to Tokyo. the omakes with Haruki's sister are genuinely two of my favourites, I think it's really sweet to see that they're close, have an active family group chat, and that he is out and they're all accepting of him. again, as an adult, Haruki has grown away from his family, which is fine. they're all still close even if they don't always see each other, which is cute. I think they were probably pretty supportive with Haruki pursuing music, as he never seems to have any sort of struggle internally about deciding to do music. I feel like he's just completely healthy and normal family dynamics, which has also helped him be a good mentor towards the younger band members. I believe he's the youngest in his family, with two older sisters, which I also think would influence his attitude towards the younger band members - he can finally be the older brother figure and mentor.

finally, Ugetsu. I desperately want to know what Ugetsu's family is like - which I think was evident in my previous post about him. so what we know is that Ugetsu's father is a diplomat and grandfather a politician. I believe that it's possible that part of why Ugetsu failed at romance was because he may have felt more pressure from his family to be successful in his career. a diplomat and a politician are big to live up to, and definitely the type of careers and reputations where you're going to be watched as their legacy. I think that while Ugetsu has genuine passion for violin, he knows that his skill means that he can move up in the world and keep up a successful career line. I also wonder if Ugetsu is out as I'm assuming gay - due to homophobia being a thing, it's possible that he also wanted to hide his sexuality as that could impact the reputation that he has and the reputation of his family. on the other hand, there is the possibility that he wanted to be known for something other than his politically successful family and therefore decided to pursue music. it could really go either way.

overall, the adult family relationships are fine to me? I believe that they all make sense with their characters, and while I wish we got a little more, adults drift away because of moving or just not being close with their families, so that's fine to me.

now for the teens - which is Shizusumi, Yuki, Mafuyu, and Uenoyama. this is where families have the potential to get more interesting.

Hiiragi is not mentioned because his family isn't brought up other than one time, where he mentions them not being home soon after Yuki's death as an excuse to stay with Shizusumi. this is the only time we hear of them as far as I know. which is too bad, I want to know what family produced the absolute diva that is Hiiragi

Shizusumi is a foster kid though. I do think this can be seen within his character, as he's quiet, standoffish, and cares deeply for those who he is around. Hiiragi is basically Shizusumi's main person, which I believe shows possible attachment issues when it comes to family. his experience within the foster system isn't clarified, I don't know for sure that he bounced around homes or not, but I would think that if he did it's part of why he's a bit harder to read and appears only with a small group of people (Hiiragi, Mafuyu, previously Yuki, now Uenoyama). it's possible that parts of Shizusumi's personality are because of his growing up in foster care - he was in it from a very young age, like before he met Hiiragi even when they were tiny children. there's no confirmation for any of this of course, but I can't help but wonder if that's part of why he's a little more intense and also uncertain in his relationships. by uncertain, I mean with Hiiragi - as he comes off so strong and needs like proof that they can be together, that the memory of Yuki doesn't get in the way of them. I do wish that a little more of Shizusumi's background was known, I think it would be really interesting.

then there's Yuki, who has a similar story to Mafuyu in terms of family. Yuki was a latchkey kid whose mother worked and father committed suicide (as revealed in Strawberry Swing). so Yuki was reliant on Mafuyu more than his mother, as it's said by his mother than Mafuyu was his anchor. it implies that while they may have been close, they weren't as close as he was Mafuyu. because of this, Mafuyu was more influential, and it was an argument with him rather than with him mother that ended up triggering his suicide, as she wasn't his anchor. it's likely that Yuki had the same mental illness as his father, as they both committed suicide, ending their lives in tragedy. I think Yuki was probably close, but not actually super close with his mother.

now Mafuyu is also a latchkey kid with a single mother, but his father was abusive and was arrested early in his life. Mafuyu's quietness and inability to communicate at times is directly caused by his father - as he would hit Mafuyu whenever he spoke. I think this also gave Mafuyu his more reserved and shy personality, as a person who can't communicate or express themselves normally can struggle to connect with others. I believe that his father was the main reason for struggles that Mafuyu deals with in terms of his voice and expressiveness, leaving a long lasting nervousness around speaking up about his feelings and thoughts. as Mafuyu develops, this does fade out a little, he struggles less to communicate until he feels abandoned again when Uenoyama joins SYH - this is more of a history repeats itself thing that deals with Yuki rather than his father's abuse though. as for his mother - I think Mafuyu is quite independent, caused by the fact that he was a latchkey kid. I believe the same was true for Yuki, and that they learnt early on to grow up and be independent because they would be home alone while their mother's worked. this isn't a bad thing, and I still think that both of their mothers did their best, but it's really difficult to raise a child when you're a single mother. also, I say this as a latchkey kid with a single mother myself - you can sometimes grow up more independent, self-reliant in terms of anything emotional and educational simply because you spend more time on your own. I think that Mafuyu likely knows that he has his mother as a support system, but doesn't actually know how to communicate with her, therefore relying on bonds with peers - especially as seen with Yuki and his codependence. also, I wrote a post awhile back about how I think Kedama is a meant to be an emotional support animal given to Mafuyu after Yuki's death. I think that his mother knows she can't always connect with him because of that independence that was built after being distant due to work schedules, so Kedama was a way for Mafuyu to be motivated to get up and live his life, as he has another being relying on him now. I think that Mafuyu and his mother aren't too close but still love each other, just simply having some distance, and that Kedama was a really sweet and smart companion for Mafuyu in hopes that he would be more motivated to take care of himself after Yuki's passing.

finally, Uenoyama! so of course, we cannot talk about Uenoyama without starting with his beautiful sister, Yayoi. she's the most fleshed out of literally any family member in the entire manga - her personality, she social standings, her love life, her relationship to Ritsuka, all of this has substance within the series. Yayoi and Ritsuka have a pretty typical sibling relationship as far as I can tell - teasing and loving bullying, while still being supportive and understanding for each other. the one time this comes to a halt is when Yayoi discovers that Ritsuka is dating Mafuyu - and she becomes incredibly worried and slight uncertain about whether or not their relationship is even okay, if she should somehow stop him from seeing Mafuyu. I find that the panels where she tells Ritsuka that his relationship is "weird" and "unnatural", saying he'll "get hurt" show that while Ritsuka cares about Yayoi, she also isn't the most influential. some people will doubt themselves and their relationships when they're told that, people struggle with homophobia and internalized homophobia, but Ritsuka just acknowledges her words and barely listens to her. I think that he shows that in terms of big things like his love life, he won't be swayed by family, no matter how close he is with them - as Yayoi and him appear to be incredibly close. while he wants their support, Ritsuka seems to be a very strong person, as well as being quite independent at times. also, Yayoi is mostly just concerned and can't exactly wrap her head around Ritsuka being gay. to be fair - Ritsuka hadn't shown any sort of romantic inclination before, so I think she also figured he was just the stoic type. so to see him suddenly in a relationship with another boy, one who she doesn't know very well, her reaction was mostly shock and worry. it doesn't excuse her homophobia, even if it was born out of plain not understanding and worry, but it definitely means her wanting to learn how to understand makes sense. I think that after everything, Yayoi would end up being his biggest supporter not only in general but also his relationship. now this is one area where I kinda wish we saw more from Ritsuka's parents. we can gather that they're supportive in terms of his music and pursuing it, it's mentioned that Ritsuka's father is "a music geek and has been a big influence on him", so that in itself really says that yeah they're supportive of his music. however, I was always wanting more of a coming out arc for Ritsuka, as he is the character who discovers his sexuality and gets a boyfriend within the series. I didn't need it to be something big, but I don't think that his parents ever discover his sexuality or anything within the main series, and it kinda makes me wonder how they reacted. I also think that it would be a bit more of a way to show what his relationship is like with his family - if they reacted negatively, would Ritsuka be able to kind of brush it off like he did with Yayoi? would he want to change for them if they have more impact on his relationships in terms of romance? or would even care? would they go through an arc like Yayoi's of figuring out how to understand and support? a coming out arc or simply a small scene likely could've said a lot about what the Uenoyama family is like in terms of how close knit they are. again, I do believe that the scene with Yayoi shows that Ritsuka is secure in who he is as a person, so maybe it wouldn't have revealed too much about the family, as he appears closest with her. overall, Ritsuka is the one who's family I wish we saw more of, I think it could've been interesting to explore their reactions to his sexuality, as well as generally seeing them beyond the knowledge that they support him and his music and his father got him into it.

overall, I wanted more out of the families with the teens - mainly Uenoyama, Shizusumi and Hiiragi (like Hiiragi Mix doesn't give us anything, which I think is a shame). I'm good with what we got out of Mafuyu, but that may be because I grew up similarly in terms of only child with a single mother, and therefore have my own thoughts and experience as an insight to what I think he's like. I think a little more on Haruki's family would've been cute, I'm fine with Akihiko's situation and his family not ever appearing. but I completely wish we had gotten a little more on Ugetsu, as I think that it would've been really interesting to see if his family at all affected his career and his drive for his career over romantic and social lives.

I hope that this makes sense at all, I feel like it's just a ramble about the families and I ain't too sure about if it's the most comprehensive thing to read, sorry.

thank you for the ask! this was super fun, so I hope that it makes sense and answers your ask!

[asoundofdrop]

Winter

"And what can we do for you today?"

-----------------------------------------

Basic information:

The middle child (younger than Wise, older than Belle)

Had a medical condition since birth that mainly affects her heart and blood

Her Bangboo attendant is named Chacha (77), its backpack is full of her medicine and other supplies

She was badly injured during the evacuation from the Old Capital and her hands had to be replaced with prosthetics

-----------------------------------------

Personality:

Close with her siblings and loves them dearly, but it's become a bit complicated since the evacuation

She wishes they didn't care about her so much, she feels like she's rather "high-maintenance" and wants to free them of that burden—losing her hands (especially because a flare-up led her to getting so injured to begin with) only solidified this in her head

In a similar vein, she has this kind of mindset to all of her other relationships

Something of a tsundere—she'll still show affection, but refuses to acknowledge the relationship on her own because she's a bit of a coward

Best explanation for it might be that if she doesn't say it aloud, people wouldn't feel as inclined to worry about her out of personal connections

But she becomes a lot more honest and open when she's sleepy

Patient overall but her "immediate berserk button" is calling her sickly or anything like that

It takes her, at minimum, the entire day and some space to cool off

She talks like a street thug when pissed

Self-conscious about her condition so she cakes on the makeup to hide it

Does her best to take on responsibilities, especially because in her own eyes, Belle should have a bit more freedom as the youngest and she wants to alleviate some of Wise's stress (unless it's directly about herself)

Butts heads with Wise over bed rest, she hates it especially if it's forced and she gets even more antsy

-----------------------------------------

Relationships:

Wise: As the two older siblings, they both feel the need to be the mature responsible one. Sometimes their methods of looking out for each other don't mix well, but at the end of the day, the familial love is still strong.

Belle: Finds it hard to say no to whatever Belle asks. They share the role of completing Hollow commissions, but Winter generally handles it when she's not sick.

Nicole: While Nicole still goes through her usual attempts at negotiating discounts, the attitude is a bit different. Besides Wise and Belle, she's one of the few that's close to Winter—and one of the few friendships that Winter is especially afraid of acknowledging.

Billy: Rather likes spending time with him. His enthusiasm over other things makes it easier for her to put her condition in the back of her mind. He's also the one who agrees the fastest to letting her tag along with him if he's not doing Hollow commissions.

Caesar: Admires, can be debatably "envious", how strong she is. They talk about romance shows quite intensely.

Lighter: Her romantic interest but she generally refuses to pursue anything because she thinks anything more would only add to his stress.

-----------------------------------------

Likes: cats, calligraphy, Chacha

Dislikes: bed rest, people who are mean to Chacha

Hobbies: writing fanfiction, cooking, going on walks

-----------------------------------------

A/N: I got sucked into ZZZ so fast, I think this is the fastest I've ever made an OC too LMAO.

[ghostboneswrites2]

What is your opinion on Bethyl?

I actually have a lot of opinions (and I’m honored you think they’ll be interesting enough to ask about them) so I must apologize for the length.

First and foremost I don’t support relationships where the age gap is unethical or illegal or relationships where an age gap would lead to an unhealthy power dynamic. So as a whole I’m not a Bethyler.

HOWEVER at one point I was a Bethler, at age 15-16. I was actively being groomed by a grown man so at the time I had the whole “age is just a number” mindset. As I’ve grown and recognized the situation I was in I grew to recognize the fact that Beth was simply too young.

Norman has said something along the lines of Beth being the first girl that was every really nice to him the way Beth was, and that Daryl kind of misreads the situation. I’m sure there would have been some emotional confusion between the two of them — with Daryl’s lack of experience in the romance department (or being emotionally intelligent in general) and Beth’s boyfriends dying — but I don’t believe Daryl would have felt comfortable being romantically involved with such a young girl. And even if Beth did think he was attractive or something I don’t think she would have been interested in a man so much older either.

I think he cared deeply for her, and I think he wanted to protect her and give her everything she wanted, but I don’t believe he would have pursued anything past a close friendship/ big brother dynamic with her.

I can see where the Bethylers get their fuel from but I personally don’t think either of them would have realistically become romantic with each other.

I do think she did a lovely job at getting him to actually feel and process his emotions. She was literally a ray of sunshine in a rotten world and she’s one of my top 3 fav characters in the whole TWD universe. I think she along with other characters that we lost were representative of a side of humanity they were trying to preserve through the entire series. I hate that grieving such a lovely person was what it took for Daryl to feel in touch with his feelings.

I would have loved to see her with Noah or someone else and to have seen what kind of person she would have become. I wish Judith could have known her or that she could have met her nephew.

As far as Daryl and shipping goes I’m a huge fan of both Donnie and Caryl. But, to answer your question again, I’m not a Bethyler. I think it would have been inappropriate given her age and life experiences.

[anhed-nia]

I was delighted to learn that there was a crazy-girl Black Swan movie from before BLACK SWAN, and disappointed that it's exactly as mysogynistic, just in a much dumber way. We're all familiar with the John Hughes model of romance, in which girls who reject you just want you to be increasingly persistent and controlling--but there's a sort of kid brother to this framework, that says that when women reject you it's actually because they're literally fucking insane, and they need your help with that. In the movie ETOILE aka BALLET, Jennifer Connelly aka the most beautiful woman in the universe plays a ballerina whose psychotic obsession with Swan Lake interferes with her non-relationship with some little dweeb who decides he's entitled to her. The guy looks and kind of acts like the wormy new wave guy Chuck in RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (fig. 1), but in ROTLD that used car salesman suit is a joke so I don't know what the makers of ETOILE think I'm supposed to feel when I look at this asshole (fig. 2). Something positive, apparently. It's funny, in my life I live firmly in the Ugly Girl camp and I have all the usual neuroses about it, but certain situations unlock this protectiveness about beautiful women--case in point, watching this jerk kiss Jennifer Connelly. I mean if he were like Bud Cort or someone with that Funny Valentine quality, who is warm and charming, then it would be fine, but with this low-end cretin it's really like...sir, please back away from Jennifer Connelly. This is not for you.

In this movie Jennifer Connelly is frankly way too good for this guy, and if this were real life, it would make perfect sense that she's polite to him and then gives him the brush-off when he pushes his luck; but of course, in the fantasy world of this movie, the reason she rejects him is that she's fucking possessed or something and she's just waiting for him to rescue her from her feminine irrationality. This is extra funny because the script itself directly references the myth of Apollo and Daphne which is like the original version of this: Daphne just wants to be left alone, but Apollo assumes his advances are desirable no matter what she has to say about it; to get away from him she transforms into a tree, and he's so sad about it that he desecrates her corpse weaves a wreath from her leaves. This is really the ultimate reflection of a man refusing to believe that a particular hot chick really, genuinely doesn't want him, but ETOILE isn't capable of figuring out that subtext, so the guy just forces himself on Jennifer Connelly until she isn't "crazy" anymore. Bonus points for the scene where he repeatedly screams at her to stop dancing, because there's really no bigger threat to romance than a woman's career and personal interests.

I wish I could think of more examples of this trope, I know they're out there, and I did just see another one called FEMME FATALE where Lisa Zane marries Colin Firth and then "mysteriously" leaves him, so he has to go on this whole odyssey to retrieve her. This is a particularly funny example because Firth is mopey and boring and untalented and a bad listener and out of shape and a drag, and Zane is this turbulent sexpot who is making it really obvious that she's not satisfied with him right up to the point that she "strangely" vanishes. Spoilers ahead I guess but the first thing Firth finds out is that she was in some psychotic art film by a militant lesbian who she used to date...and still the spurned husband thinks, nah, it CAN'T be that I'm boring and sappy and self-centered and I ignore her needs, and it ALSO CAN'T be that maybe she secretly prefers girls or is, at the very least, way more sexually exotic than I am. There has to be some OTHER reason I got dumped, something that involves me pursuing this uninterested woman to the ends of the earth and forcing her to admit that she loves only me, forever. And the movie totally agrees with him: There's no moment where Colin Firth realizes that he misread all the evidence, or even that she's EVIL or just not who he thought she was or whatever. Instead what he finds out is that she's literally insane! She's a paranoid schizophrenic whose only valid choices of companion are her dad or, you guessed it, Colin Firth. When I saw this I thought wow, this movie has gone impossibly far out of its way to explain that when a woman rejects you, it's not because you're a dullard and a jerk, it's because she's dangerously crazy. Only an actual lunatic would turn down a catch like YOU.

Anyway I know I was just talking about not being pointlessly mean about movies in public, but all bets are off if the movie manages to say something this insulting. I am now done talking about this and I will leave you with this hilarious thumbnail from a YouTube clip of FEMME FATALE, which pretty well sums up the whole movie.

[bengiyo]

Hidden Agenda: Zo Experienced The Knowing

I was tagged by @respectthepetty this morning in her post about Zo and how much damage Puen did to him. At the end of the post she mentioned that Zo probably Knew who he was this whole time. I want to talk about the timing of this reveal, what it means for this kind of show, and how I feel about it.

I have admittedly been struggling with this show. I think Dunk is often a little hard for me to read, and I often wish that he hadn’t been given such an internal character to play. However, I think the team may be using that to their advantage to cloud our ability to read Zo. 

Zo began the series in a debate with Joke about how people need to be honest about their feelings before going into a relationship with someone, and he’s been nervous to approach Nita. We’ve also seen him showing dismay about possibly being a bad mentor to Pok, along with his general reticence to Joke’s advances. I think I’ve decided that I’m okay with the show recontextualizing much of what we’ve seen before, but I don’t generally like it. Sure, it rewards those who pay close attention, but there’s too much going on for me to do an extensive rewatch to see those scenes again in a new light. However, I like it for queer reasons. 

What fascinates me about our sudden reread of Zo as a Known Gay (placeholder term I use for everyone; Zo hasn’t identified himself; let me have fun) is we watched Zo go through this during their Chiang Khan trip when he realized Pok was seeing Jeng. At that time I only read Zo as concerned with being read as homophobic by his junior who couldn’t come out to him, but now it’s even sadder because Zo was not only concerned about being seen as homophobic he was also not being seen as a member of the community. 

The constant concern he expresses is that he’ll make people uncomfortable. He’s afraid to approach Nita, and has a huge panic when a not-date doesn’t exactly go over well with her. I thought this was part of his confused feelings for Joke, but it’s also about how Zo doesn’t trust himself in romance because of what Puen did. I feel especially sad for Zo because Puen messed him up so badly that he can’t even pursue an opposite-sex romance with confidence either. I felt like a part of Zo hoped that things would be easier if there wasn’t a gay component to the romance and yet he’s still feeling weird and uncertain.

As for whether Zo suffered The Knowing, I am not sure how far back Zo Knew. I can’t tell from his interactions with his mom, but it’s clear from his scenes with Puen and the matter-of-fact way he describes what happened to Joke that he had put a lot of thought into his feelings for Puen at the time. So, because of the way Puen’s actions continue to impact Zo, he goes on the board.

I'm at least relieved that as @justafriend-ql pointed out in her reblog that confirming that Puen did like him, and it wasn't all in Zo's head, allowed him to finally enjoy a moment with a guy he likes and who clearly likes him.

[slocumjoe]

Something I wish they did in fo4 is recognize when you’re cheating on a romanced character… I have a few ideas but I’m curious how you think this should play out in game

This is actually a pervasive...I don't want to call it an issue...roadblock, maybe? In games with romances. Seems like no one knows how to handle this.

Verilybitchie on YouTube has a great video called "bisexuality in video games" that goes into this, so if you don't want to read this, just go put that on in the background.

Also sorry this isn't a react, but I've always had Thoughts on this

So, since this is a Fallout blog, we're talking Fallout first.

In Fo4, you can romance every single companion in the game. Well, the romancable ones (sorry, Nick harem). The only requirement to romance someone is raise their affinity through actions or natural, slow-building of the stat (affinity will slowly raise itself over time), and then you select and succeed at the final romance dice roll. Sometimes there is a quest.

Already we have an issue, because there is no feasible way to logically date all these people. It isn't a numbers issue; it's the fact that most of them hate each other. If you're (you as the sole survivor) can romance and make Hancock swoon for you, its not likely you're the type that can reel Danse. You can't be the kind of person who Preston would fall for, while also pulling Gage. That kind of thing. It isn't that no one would be down to be poly, its that most of them have so few of the others that they'd be poly with. Again, Gage is not sharing with fucking Preston, and he sure as hell isn't falling for someone who Preston can love.

It's just so players can see all the romances, I think, but it's never...it's ludodissonance, I think. At most, a romanced character will hate it if you flirt with someone else in their presence, but I don't believe it'll amount to anything.

So, what would that amount to, IRL? Everyone would be pissed! Their partner has a secret harem that doesn't know its a harem! That's an awful thing to feel. But if Sole sat them all down and explained they wanted all of them at once...still wouldn't work. I don't think any of them would really be comfortable with poly, and all of them have at least one person would they wouldn't want to be poly with. For most of them, that person is Danse. Which is very funny to me.

The thing is, Fallout 4 is a huge game, and making a game is. Fucking Difficult. It is a nightmare. And you'd have to program in all of the different combinations of reactions. That's potentially 144 conversations, if you think about every companion reacting to you being with another companion. Then you have the potential of a companion reacting to you being with two other companions. Three. The number gets insane. And Fallout 4 is humoring us with the socializing/dialog as is, so that's obviously not happening.

In Dragon Age Inquisition, you can flirt with everyone, pretty sure, regardless of romance status. If I remember correctly. But if you romance someone, than try to pursue a romance with someone else, person 2 will waggle their finger at you like nuh-uh-uh, you very naughty boy! Even when it doesn't make much sense for them.

The Iron Bull, for example, i think would be down for a poly relationship. Sera, maybe, I could see that too. Josephine is a manager, so I can see her liking the idea of delegating her love life to an outside contractor when she doesn't have the time. There are romances, here, that could have multiple people. But DAI says no, you can't. But it gets real loosey goosey with what is and isn't cheating.

So, I played that game as a dude, and obviously I went straight for Cassandra, my buff book nerd warrior princess darling. I flirted with no one else. No one. I romanced her and her alone.

BUT.

For those not in the know, Dorian is a character in DAI. His thing is that he's gay from a homophobic country, and his dad tried to conversion therapy him via magic. You go take him to meet his dad, since he showed up looking for Dorian. Dorian spells it out for you that he's gay, since while its kind of obvious, he keeps it hush due to. Well. His experiences.

You have the option to tell Dorian you've been with the same gender yourself. It's marked as flirty if you're a guy, not sure if its the same as a woman. But for a male character, this is flirting with Dorian.

Later, when you talk to Dorian back at home base, you have some options to comfort him, because obviously he's kind of upset. One of these options, I knew to be saying you actually think better of him, and think he's been very brave. I picked this the first playthrough, because I felt it was more genuine and kind.

Second playthrough, I also picked the "I'm gay too" option from earlier.

When I picked the "I think better of you option" back at base...

I'd flirted only with Cassandra. I was dating her.

And my guy and Dorian started sucking face in the corner of a library.

NEVER FLIRTED WITH HIM BEFORE. All I did was say I was also gay, and then I said I thought he was strong for going through the shit he did. Thing is, you can romance Dorian immediately following the end of that quest. So, I tested something. We just made out for like, five minutes. Wanna date? "Aren't you with Cassandra?"

So, the issue here with DAI is that it doesn't always account for...oddities. For example, The Iron Bull will flirt with you hardcore if you flirt with him, but you try to pursue him while in a relationship, he won't. He'll tell you you have great tits and that he likes being pegged, all while making suggestive faces, but the moment those birds come to roost, he's out. What? Why not? Josephine would totally be down to clown with two beefy Qunari men, Bull would be down to clown with Josie! Why is this here???

Again. Games are really hard to program. And that's after you've written all the actual story.

For DAI, I can think of three romances that would be down for poly. So, you don't have much to do there. But there's still other things you need to account for. You can't acknowledge one thing, and ignore the others. If I threesome with Sera and Josie, what happens if I try throwing Bull into the mix? What happens if I break up with Sera? What happens if we ditch Josie, and add Bull, when Sera is a lesbian? Get the issue? Relationships are fucking complicated. Especially when you're the asshole having to puppeteer them in every possible direction, in the name of player freedom.

In the other direction, we have Stardew Valley. I compare it to a child's xylophone toy with utmost affection, its very plinky-plonky in nature.

SDV works on a heart system. 8 hearts with a bachelor or bachelorette, you can offer them a bouquet and start dating. At 10 hearts, you can propose and get married.

If you marry someone, you can date as many other people as you like. You might get a cutscene where your spouse is jealous that you're giving someone else presents, but they don't actually acknowledge that you have a side piece or two. And this jealous cutscene only plays with...a side piece of the same gender as the spouse. So, the character Shane doesn't care if you and Emily had sex in the woods, but God Forbid you give Elliot a duck feather.

HOWEVER. If you reach 10 hearts with all romance options of one gender (meaning you reach 10 with all of the boys, or 10 with all the girls), you get a cutscene where all of the boys or girls confront you with your cheating, and they're all pissed at you for, like, a week in game.

HOWEVER HOWEVER, you can skip this by carrying a lucky rabbit's foot in your inventory. If you have the foot, the cutscenes just play as you hanging out. So, the boys, rather than confronting you, just have a friendly game of pool, and the girls will just chat, I think. So, the only real acknowledgement that you have multiple partners can be skipped.

On the flip side, there's Skyrim. There is no flirting in skyrim, at all. You wear a necklace, and if the person is available, they'll comment on the necklace. You get married, and then you can never divorce your spouse, or get a new one. It's the game equivalent to church kids getting married right out of high school and sticking with it.

The only game I've ever seen handle this, and handle it well, is Hades.

Hades Supergiant my beloved.

In Hades, you play as Zagreus, the son of Hades trying to escape the underworld, because Hades got full custody in the divorce and Zag wants to see his mom on weekends. I kid but that's literally the plot.

Zagreus used to be dating the fury, Megaera, who also works for Hades as an enforcer and guard. She kills Zagreus in his escape attempts. Their relationship ended poorly, and its heavily implied to be because of Zagreus being a shithead to her. She's pissed at Zag, but with enough time and Zag making amends and apologizing, she is more than willing to be friends again.

Then we have Thanatos, the god of Death. He's always busy, and you never hear of him until a certain point in the game. It takes a long time for him to show himself. When he does, it's with a ringing bell, and the area turns green with his presence. He and Zag have a much more complicated relationship, as they've both carried a flame for each other, and never acted on it. Thanatos will appear to help Zag kill enemies before he starts showing at the hub world.

Finally, we have Dusa. Dusa is a floating gorgon head. You know Medusa? Cut off her head. That is Dusa, as her own entity. She's the shy, skittish, workaholic maid for the house of Hades (the hubworld) and has an obvious crush on Zagreus, day one. Whenever you talk to her, heart effects appear, and she quickly flees. She's attracted to Zag, but she's so skittish, building a relationship with her is more like trying to make a stray cat accept pets and treats. She's down, but she needs to get comfy around Zag, not feel so shy.

You can romance all three of these people! If you romance Thanatos and Meg, they'll show up in your bedroom, and you have a brief conversation about how this relationship will work, and if you're down, all three of you hook up. Then, for the rest of the game, you have a boyfriend and girlfriend! As for Dusa, they know about her, too, and she knows about them. Dusa just can't or doesn't want to have sex, so she's more of Zagreus's platonic partner. It's hard to explain. They don't have sex because Dusa isn't into it. It's very cute and sweet.

But the point is, Than, Meg, and Dusa will get together and figure out what they want, then approach Zagreus and see what he wants, and they all work it out from there. This is possible because there are so few romance options, and the writers accounted for people wanting all three. That's actually the intended path! But either way, Supergiant considered how romance would work and function in the setting they built, and how their characters would react and adapt.

Since they were working with a small number of characters, they could easily slot in different paths and choices. You can turn down Than, Meg, and Dusa. Turn down two of them. Accept all of them! And by having characters that like each other, you don't have to worry about Person B looking at Person C and gagging at the idea of sharing Person A.

The problem with romances in video games is that, if the game isn't, specifically, about the romances, you're not going to get a fully-realized experience. Hades has two gameplay modes; the escape attempts with the combat, and the visual novel side of the game with the developing relationships with all of the characters, romances or not. Hades very much puts both things in the spotlight—and it gets away with it, because Zagreus is a fully-realized character, who is not customizable and has no player input. Zagrues decides things on his own, not because a player pushed a button to accept a quest. You don't get to puppet him around. You get very few choices in dialogue with Zagreus.

Most games with romances, you play as a customizable character, who can be anyone, and do anything. The game devs have to account for that. To account for that, everything has to be squishy, and maliable, and that means that nothing really...matters. It can't! If you put too much importance on something, but the player has x amount of freedom, there's a chance they could miss it, or break it, or do something to render it moot. In Mass Effect 2, I believe, you have the choice to save the space government. If you let them gov die, in the next game, the new government is just...the old one in different suits. Letting the gov die is a big fucking deal, but because you made it a choice, you can't expend too much time and effort on realizing the consequences. Because you also need the timeline where the gov was saved. Why would you put so much time into an optional thing, when its possible most players will choose to do the intended path of saving the space gov?

Well, its the same for romances. Why put so much time into paths and consequences that some people won't see? Why would you write discussions of Sera wondering why you thought she'd have sex with Bull, a man, when most people aren't going to do that? Why would you write 144+ reactions to you cheating on all of the fallout 4 companions?

Writing is both very easy, and very hard. Getting ideas is easy. Working out the kinks in those ideas is hard as shit. Add a deadline, a budget, and lots of investors waiting expectantly, and lots of shit gets chucked on the cutting room floor.

[celiaelise]

So I am watching "Doctor Elise", (yes, mostly bc she has my name :p) an anime with a convoluted reincarnation/time travel premise which results in the main character as an 18th(???) century noblewoman in psuedo-Europe, with all the knowledge of a well-renowned 21st century Japanese surgeon. When she gets back to her "original" life, (Elise, from "Britia") she is determined to right all the wrongs she committed by being a spoiled rich teenager the first time around, AND to help as many people as possible by becoming a doctor in this lifetime, too.

This is an issue because the emperor, who appears to be a close family friend, REALLY wants her to marry his son instead of pursuing medicine. Also, she has to scramble for explanations for why she has medical knowledge and understanding that should be impossible for her.

And this is one of those times where you can really feel that this Western-adjacent setting is being written by people from another culture. (This also happened when I was watching "Emma: a Victorian Romance", and someone reassured a small child, "don't worry, the Grim Reaper isn't coming to get you; he isn't real! 😊" Like, death? Death isn't real and isn't coming for this child? He's an immortal child?? Anyway...) Because, to me, a westerner, there is such an obvious and correct answer!!!

Say it was God. These guys are absolutely neck-deep in Christianity, say it was God. Say God spoke to you directly, told you it is His will for you to heal people, and is feeding you answers to unsolvable medical riddles.

Sure, many people may not believe you at first, but since your knowledge and actions are backed up by Actual Science, eventually the results will speak for themselves. They cannot argue with you when you are genuinely saving lives in unprecedented ways AND the Church is on your side. (Which it would have to be, eventually, and given that she's already a noblewoman, they probably wouldn't even mind that much.)

This is also a very good way to explain your sudden personality change. Oh, I used to be vapid, belligerent, and somewhat evil, but now I'm considerate, caring, and intelligent? Simple, when God spoke to me, he showed me the error of my ways, and I've decided to listen to Him and change my behavior.

This could even get you out of a marriage, if you can get them to let you join a covent! But this anime is partly a romance, so that wouldn't really make sense for the story. 🙄

Anyway, it's a decent show, though I'm not a huge fan of the art style. But every episode I can't stop wishing she would use heavenly visions as a cover for her weirdness 🤷🏻‍♀️ (I actually don't think they've mentioned the Church at all, so maybe their universe doesn't even have Christianity?)

[imahinatjon]

How she feels

Higuchi x reader

Just felt like it. Sfw.

Higuchi was in love with you. Not that she could say anything though. It used to be her superior, Akutagawa, she adored the man. She was obsessed. But her love was always unrequited.

Higuchi used to call you to complain. To tell you about him, and how much she loved him, that she looked up to him, but he wouldn't even spare her a glance. He was not interested in romance.

You always listened, patient with her rambling, as she stumbled over her words, tears threatening to spill and voice cracking ever so slightly, because the man she loved didn't love her back, because he didn't treat her well.

She would then listen to you calmly tell her that things were going to be alright. That she was alright. You gave her advice, gave her your opinion on the matter, explained it from an outsiders view.

Maybe he's not interested in romance? Too consumed by his job?

She accepted that. And let it go. Until a few days later and she was crying to you on the phone again.

"He's just so mean"

"He's in the port Mafia, he's not supposed to be nice"

You seemed a little irritated after god knows how many calls, and she picked up on that - but you never said anything, you were far too kind, and Higuchi was far too shy to bring it up, so she opted for avoidance. She stopped calling so often.

But it didn't feel right. She missed calling you almost every day. She still went and visited you twice a week, but it didn't feel like enough. She wasn't seeing you or talking to you as much as she wanted.

It was like this for two weeks until the realisation came to her when she picked up her phone ready to dial your number.

She had a hard day at work, and to relieve stress and relax, to make herself feel better, her immediate thoughts when to calling you. To tell you about her day. You always made her feel better, she loved that about you. You were always so calm and patient and relaxing and-

She loved that about you...

Pausing to think on it, that wasn't all she loved about you.

She loved your voice, how firm and steady it was, reassuring. You could be worried, nervous, agitated, and yet, when she came to you feeling the same, you managed to disguise those anxieties, all for her. She wished she could do the same for you.

Higuchi loved your smile too, how bright it was, pretty. You lit up an entire room when you smiled or laughed. Her eyes always drifted towards you.

She loved your personality. It was complex, and you had many faces, many different emotions expressed in many different ways, changing your entire deminor to fit the situation while remaining wholeheartedly... you. She wished she could see the face you made when in love.

That was it. Love, she loved everything about you, not just those three things. Higuchi just loved you.

She thought it was Akutagawa, and while she does admire him, that is really all there is too it, she can't see herself living a happy and fulfilled life with him, she can't see herself pursuing a real meaningful relationship with him, she couldn't see her future in Akutagawa, he was just a fleeting fantasy fueled by her own delusion.

But everything she wanted in a true healthy relationship, she could see that in you.

To Higuchi, your out of her league. But, that won't stop her from swooning. She's realised she loves you, probably has for a long time.

She won't tell you. She can't tell you. She needs to be more sure of herself first, more certain. Her feelings are clear as day, but... she just needs time. Then she'll let you know.

And as she swipes on your name and clicks the green call button, a small smile on her face, as she hears you pick up the call and greet her with your usual 'hello', she swears she hears a hint of affection in your voice. And she's certain she had a chance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Honestly more of an incoherent ramble if you ask me 😅

Masterlist :3