#her path is due to how she was harmed as a child

[thisisntreaver]

Thinking once more about the chain of events of fable and how if William had been able to destroy his mask Jack wouldn't have attacked Oakvale and the hero of oakvale and Theresa could have had normal lives. Theresa never would have butted in Lucien could have had a chance to grieve healthily and he wouldn't have killed Rose and Sparrow wouldn't have spent their entire early life on a quest for vengeance that wouldn't sooth the hurt. The darkness would never have entered Albion and Logan and the HOBW would never be pit against each other. And if none of that had happened Gabriel would have just been able to live his life.

Which is a really long winded way to say this is all Jack fault

[babushkatty]

Tranquil SAGAU - Part 3

-> Part 1

-> Part 2

-> Part 4

Turns out, you did jinx yourself last week.

You should have learnt your lesson from all those times you and your sister had spoken bad luck into existence, be it unannounced guests or other inconveniences.

But you didn't, so here you were.

Staring down motherfucking Ursa the Drake, with Dvalin pinning them (her?) down with his massive body and motherfucking Crepus Ragnvindr looking at you both simultaneously like it's Christmas and like he thinks he's schizophrenic.

Diluc didn't look any better. He was as white as a sheet and if you were any better at identifying emotions, you'd think he was about to cry.

...surely not?

But then again, he was younger than in the game and his father was right there, alive and well - you doubted he was anything like the cold and grumpy Diluc who closed himself off from the world that you knew.

A terrified baby that was probably overthinking how Ursa would kill him, his father and the whole cohort they traveled with all the way to Tuesday.

...now you just felt bad for judging. You wouldn't be any better in his place, especially without your scary Dvalin priviledges.

"Ursa, darling, what exactly are you doing?"

All you got for your troubles was a roar in your face.

Except it didn't even feel like a scary dragon about to eat you, it felt like a child throwing a tantrum.

...the notion of Ursa being this uncontested and plaguing Mondstadt for a thousand years while being a mere child was kind of terrifying actually, so you very deliberately decided not to dwell on it. For your own sanity, if nothing else.

"Dvalin, you know Ursa, so... Any ideas?" You asked the dragon, who looked almost bored as he outright lounged on Ursa as if they (she?) were his beddings. If that didn't make a statement, you didn't know what would.

"While we did not cross paths frequently in the past, I had always thought her to be... Especially nefarious."

Ursa trashed around, but Dvalin didn't budge and effortlessly kept them (her? her.) pinned down.

"She reminds me of Durin. But where Durin was oblivious to the grevious harm he caused and merely wanted to play, Ursa is fully conscious and reveling in the pain she inflicts on others, often being open to agreements that involve human sacrifice."

Ursa screeched. In protest, maybe?

"For now, there is not much that can be done. You would need to be much stronger to subdue her permamently, which requires time. But I shall stall her until you are strong enough, alongside Boreas."

Oh.

So your scary Dvalin priviledges were being voided. It was a shame, you really liked his company -- his stories were a delight to listen to and he spoiled you rotten for comfortable accomodations, any bed or chair from now on would be a massive downgrade.

Still, it was understandable. Responsibilities and human lives were priority over your comfort. You weren't going to complain too much.

"I'll miss you," you say as you stroke his wings, not really having access to his torso or head to hug him properly due to Ursa.

Speaking of Ursa...

"Be good. You're making trouble for everyone."

And maybe you were being reckless and simply asking for your arm and face to be bitten off, but you flicked her on the snoot, because you only live once and Dvalin had you mildly convinced nothing in Teyvat would hurt you.

Ursa startles and then, honest to God, whines.

Dvalin huffs in what you assume is amusement and grabs at Ursa with his massive limbs. His wings stretch as he readies himself to take flight.

"I will miss you too, (Name)."

And just like that both dragons are gone like the wind.

...

That left you all alone to face the Ragnvindr and C.O., so you put on your customer service smile and clap your hands in fake excitement you really don't feel.

If nothing else, working in retail taught you how to play the fool.

"So, now that that is done and over with. I believe you have a mess to clean up?"

Crepus looks at you like you grew an extra head, before doubling over in a hearty laugh that broke through the weird atmosphere that settled over the caravan as easily as a hot knife through butter.

Diluc still looks like a poke would knock him over, but at least he got some colour back in him.

"Ah, thank you for that."

Crepus walks over to you and offers you a handshake, gripping your hand firmly and with enthusiasm that was entirely on him. Not that you weren't excited to meet characters from Genshin... but that was the thing, wasn't it? They weren't the characters you knew in Genshin. Crepus was barely a mention, Diluc was a different person entirely and the rest of the caravan were either NPCs hanging around on the map somewhere or didn't exist in the game at all.

So, you had to treat them like actual people.

And you weren't good with people.

"No problem. I'm (Name) (Last Name), just call me (Name) please."

Smile through the pain Harold, grant me your strength.

"Crepus Ragnvindr, and the redhead over there is my son, Diluc. It's a pleasure to meet you, (Name)."

He lets go of your hand and smiles so brightly you half-heartedly wished for some sunglasses. Was this man sunshine personified? Certaintly felt like he was.

"I would say I wish we met under different circumstances, but that's not exactly the truth, is it? Any other circumstances would have me trying to fight Ursa the Drake and that was bound to end badly for me, so... Thank you for saving my life."

And at that precise moment the Knights of Favonius spurred on by Kaeya Alberich himself burst into the scene, weapons ready.

...Kaeya looked like such a baby too, it had you thinking on just how young the literal children like Diona would be.

☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ* ✨ Author Note✨

Suprise, we're 4 years early in the timeline! And I have no idea what the timeline is besides what little I glimpsed from the Wiki, so lore accuracy is thrown out the window!

✨ I still can't tag the one person that asked to be tagged and I'm feeling horrible for it even when it's not my fault ✨

Also, yes, ✨ is my favourite emoji, why do you ask? :D

Also, also -- yes, I did pump out 3 parts in 2/3 days, it is an anomaly, do not expect such pace from me especially since I'm about to throw myself head first into HSR.

✨Self-plug time✨

My UID is 715 837 832 and I got a lvl50 Bronya as support.

I am still on Walt copium, even though I didn't get him even once despite the many, MANY rerolls I did, but that is neither here nor there.

[mintjuliee]

Lin and Suyin - On Why Sometimes Love Means Saying "No"

In cases where you are raising a child, caring about them can often mean saying "no" or presenting as the opposition. This is particularly true when the child in question is displaying harmful behaviors.

The most blatant example of this between the Beifong sisters is the flashback in Old Wounds, wherein you see Suyin skipping school with a couple of other kids— a bag of items that they have likely stolen spilling over on a coffee table.

Teenage Lin confronts Suyin with a blatant look of disproval. Her inquires are met with:

"Oh no, are you going to tell mom? It's not like she is going to care."

ERRRT. Back up. What is really going on here?

A cry for attention.

It is not normal for a twelve year-old child to say that their mom is not going to care about them engaging in dangerous behaviors. I would even argue that the most important sentiment behind that statement is "she isn't going to care."

And what we see in the next flashback a few years later proves that Suyin was and is, in fact, testing the waters. She is now driving a getaway vehicle after a robbery. Her behavior is doomed to escalate, because it is not being met with any parental opposition.

How far can I take it? When will it matter?

This is the part where a parent should be stepping in to intervene. They should be trying to figure out what is lacking in the child's life or what they are seeking. However, what we witness instead is that this burden/role has fallen to Lin.

Mind you, in the first flashback Lin herself is a teenager. She lacks the experience or maturity to be dealing with a child displaying these behaviors, which is shown when she escalates the situation by insulting the two boys. And yet, she still tells Suyin :

"Su stop. You have so much potential. You're ruining your life."

In the second flashback, her words are:

"I'm not letting you get away with this." "So, once again, Su gets to do whatever she wants, and there are no consequences."

Lin is acting as a psuedo-parent in the absence of Toph. She cares about her younger sister and is attempting to show this by drawing a line. Suyin is lashing out against Lin like she would an authority figure.

Toph in this situation, I believe, would not be that concerned with Suyin's behavior, because she herself engaged in rebellious behavior as a kid. The key difference— and what I think Toph failed to realize in raising Suyin— is that she herself grew up with extremely strict parents from the get go. In Toph's case, breaking away from them and finding her independence was key to her growth. It was a good thing.

This is completely different from a kid being raised and allowed to do what they want from the beginning like Suyin. The lack of parental guidance and attention as a foundation produced an entirely different issue than what Toph faced.

"We didn't have a normal childhood. Neither of us knew our fathers, and Toph was always busy being Chief of Police. Because mom grew up in such a strict house, she gave us all the freedom in the world, hoping we'd figure out our own paths."

"That sounds like a good thing."

"And in a way, it was. But we both ended up fighting for mom's attention. Lin followed in her footsteps and became a cop. I was more of a rebel."

Bingo. Here we have Suyin admitting her rebellious behavior was attention-seeking towards her mom. Unfortunately, due to Toph being often absent due to her job, it would seem this behavior often went most noticed by Lin.

An older/younger sibling tale as old as time.

Lin and Suyin were both acting in accordance with the hands they were dealt. They were young. Mistakes were made. Lin should never have had to act as an opposition to her sister's behavior as a teenager; she should have been able to act like a kid herself. Suyin should not have been left to her own devices to the point where she is acting out to seek attention.

So, what do we arrive at? Compelling backstory for two middle-aged women, who present as awesome, strong characters 😎 Something rare in media, animation being more scarce. I love them so much. Almost as much as they love each other.

[shakytailstudios]

The Dueling Fates of the Guardian Neos & Lady Glasswing

In a world familiar yet strange, tragedy and a gifted Butterly pendant sends a child on a dangerous and destructive path in a bid to undo what was wrought.

While circumstances and the will of the Kami see a very different child granted an opportunity to be something she never truly thought possible, a hero.

These designs are for an AU, I have outlined but only written a fraction of, where in Marinette and Chloe oppose one another as the mysterious Lady Glasswing and the fiery Neo Guardian of the Kwami.

Thematically, its centered-on idea relating to "good victims" and "Bad victims" and how that status impacts victims. How systemic and social failures can lead to destructive and harmful behaviors while support and guidance can serve to correct and heal.

Both would serve as sort of mirrors to one another, spoilers below:

Chloe was a "bad victim" in response to emotional and psychological neglect and abuse. Which largely caused her to act out in harmful ways and be rejected, only reinforcing her behavior.

Marinette was a "Good Victim" after a tragedy. She didn't make waves or lash out, didn't try to cause trouble & so didn't get the support she needed & began spiraling as a result.

Thanks to the support of the Kwami and a growing team of people who refuse to be chased away by her temper as well as an outlet that sees her getting positive feedback, Chloe begins to heal and improve.

Meanwhile Marinette's increasing alienation from people born of systemic and social failures, exaggerated by the Butterfly's use see her becoming more destructive and callous in her isolation.

Thematically and narratively, the idea would also be for Chloe's attitude to steadily shift from "Spite/defeat Lady Glasswing no matter what" to "Save Marinette from herself the way others saved me."

Notes:

Glasswing is also a type of Butterfly and rather fitting as Marinette comes to believe her Akuma are forcing people to show their true selves. She also has to Akumify Caterpillars into cocoons to get butterfly's.

Chloe starts out constantly swapping between Kwami and so doesn't have a "Designated" Kwami, but she trends towards Sass for the Second Chance theming and Roaar for the combative outlet, her suit adapts its colors to her Kwami.

The team is loosely made up of:

Adrien - Horse & Ladybug

Sabrina - Fox & Turtle

Zoe - Black Cat & Dog

Kagami - Dragon & Peacock

Fei Wu - Mei-Shi & Mouse

Lamb & Rooster are indetermined, & I'd be using my 12/15 Kwami Lore, seen over on my main blog.

Lila would have Trixx at the start but lose him due to irresponsibility in the field due to fame-seeking. She ends up wielding the stolen Prodigious on Marinette's side while beginning to realize she is in over her head.

Ironically, with no Gabriel to ruin her life, Fei's much more well off but wants the Prodigious back.

[wishful-thinking64]

Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Rewrite Ideas #02

Hello! Hello! I've come to bring rewrite ideas for both shows once again! People seemed to like the first one and I like coming up with story ideas with and for practically everyone so here are seven more rewrite ideas for Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss! ______

#01.) Have Alastor's magic sigils be radio symbols over Vodou symbols as it not only makes way more sense with Alastor being the Radio Demon but to not play into a harmful stereotype about a real life religion.

#02.) On the topic of religion, don't be afraid to add a few more religious figures from the Bible or the Torah! As long as you're being mindful about the material you're pulling from, I really don't see this as much of an issue. People make their own spin on angels, demons, Jesus, and God all the time! But for once, this is where Viv gets cold feet even though she already has Adam & Eve there but not their two main children? Or the reason behind why their parents and everything else exists?? Seriously Viv??? #03.) In any case, if you do add the first two siblings then I suggest having Cain possibly work at the Hotel as some kind of repentance considering he's both the first real Sinner and for the fact that he feels guilt over killing his little brother. #04.) Alright, now for some ideas for Helluva Boss! I feel like we've all grown tired of seeing the, "Two people arranged in a loveless marriage," trope with how often it's been appearing and HB is no stranger to this trope and tries to use it as a way to rectify Stolas' affair with Blitzo.

I mentioned this in my third One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion series but if you want to stick loosely to HB's canon then you'd probably be better off with making Stella a surrogate mother as we still haven't seen her interact with Octavia and there was no real point in having Stolas marry Stella if all he needed to do was secure an heir. Besides I'm pretty sure that's what Paimon did in order to get Stolas as we see no signs that he had a mom growing up with how he was raised by a butler. On the contrary, should you wish to keep Stella as Stolas' wife, I'd recommend going the path not taken. By which I mean, have Stella and Stolas marry because, at one point, they did genuinely love each other but over the years that love dwindled and eventually faded out. Even though they'd be better off parting ways they choose to stay together as Great Horned Owls (the owl that the actual Stolas from the actual Ars Goetia seems to be based off of) and Snow Geese (I refuse to believe she's a swan especially since her brother has ice powers and lives in an ice castle) typically mate for life. From here, I'd have Octavia not be born out of the "necessity" of an heir but rather as a last ditch effort to see if their relationship can be rekindled as many couples in real life think that having a child or children will "fix" their relationship. #05.) Sorry for getting somewhat depressing with that last bit. To make up for it, write a fun chapter about I.M.P. having fun by rewriting Episode #05 of Season #01, The Harvest Moon Festival! A lot of people like The Harvest Moon Festival as it is though the majority agrees that it should've been a Millie centric episode. So have her be the reason they go to the Harvest Moon Festival over Stolas, show her competing in the Pain Games, and have her stand up for her husband due to having enough of her family constantly shit talking him. Overall, have Millie excel at being the bad ass girlboss that HB makes her out to be! #06.) Give Octavia some type of found family or friend group. Have her attend a prestigious private school (I doubt Stella will have her daughter attend a regular public high school) and have her become friends with the school's outcasts. The reason this group could be outcasts is because they actually earned their right to be there by getting good grades while most of the students are probably the offspring of Hell's high ranking officials. But seriously, this girl needs (and deserves) a support system STAT! #07.) Properly explain what it takes to get a soul into Heaven. I don't care if you explain this via The Ten Commandments, trusting that Jesus died for humanity's sins, or by using another set of rules from a different religion that isn't Christianity just be certain that your explanation is clear and concise and makes sense for what you have already pre-established for your rewrite. Don't do what the HH series did by saying, "Yeah, we don't know," because that is genuinely how you lose an audience. You can't have the ENTIRE premise of the show being about wanting Sinners to get into Heaven when HEAVEN doesn't even know what gets a soul there in the first place! ______ Well, those are all of the ideas I've got for now! See ya guys!

[madewithlove-sophie]

What Did Love Do? | ii. | JJK Fanfiction

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Chapter ii. The Fated Pair

A warning for those squeamish with blood and s/h at the beginning

The birth of the honored one shook the Jujutsu World, shifting the balance between chaos and peace.

A child born with the six eyes and limitless technique. A child blessed by the heavens.

It is due to this event that people of the Jujutsu World did not know of the birth of another child just 7 months later.

The birth of the unworthy child. Upon her birth, cursed the fate of her clan.

Thrown away by her own clan at birth and taken by a mere maid. Y/N Akayami was a child cursed by the God's.

Yet who would have thought, these two were destined to cross paths and disrupt the world of Jujustu.

-

"Get that wretched thing away from me!" A woman, beautiful yet terrifying shouts.

Upon feeling the shift of cursed energy, seeing her child's eyes. Red. Beautiful. Dangerous. A Curse. She knew her child she gave birth to a few minutes ago was not hers. A monster.

A chilling scream echos in the hospital room. The newly made mother, throws her child to the ground and attacks the crying baby with her technique.

A barrage of invisible slashes scatter the room, harming the doctors and nurses.

A minute passes. Pause. Silence.

The mother looks around as the dust settles. The window panes shattered. The smooth wooden floor riddled with large jagged splinters.

Before the dust could lay back on the ground. A wailing cry.

The baby is unharmed. On the floor. Wanting the warmth promised by her mother.

A sinister aura of red protects circles the child.

The doctors and nurses unable to move watch helplessly as the baby cries for its mother.

A laughter echoed maniacally through the room. The mother stands and grabs the nearest object that would bring her relief.

A scalpel used for the operation.

Suddenly there are two bodies on the ground. One of the lifeless mother. One of the wailing baby.

The doctors unsure of what to do watch. Unable to move.

Yet one nurse, rushes to the crying baby. The red aura long gone.

"Shhhh it's okay." The nurse coos at the baby, calming her down.

Red. Crystal Red.

Two beautiful rubies stare back the woman. How could this baby be a monster? The nurse thinks as she starts wrapping the baby in white cloth.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Footsteps heard from the corridor enters the disheveled room.

Shiro Akayami, the head of the ancient and powerful Akayami Clan, walks in.

He looks around and sees the scene before him.

A woman called his wife lies on the floor. A scalpel on her hand.

A baby softly crying held by a worried nurse.

"Akayami-sama, it happened so fast we didn't-" Before the doctor could finish, a deafening slash tore through the room, silencing his words and claiming the lives of the doctor and two nurses standing nearby. Their bodies splat on the ground as if rags were thrown on the floor.

The nurse gasps in surprise as she witnesses the gore before her.

Shiro Akayami slowly turns to the nurse. Dark evil eyes stare at the woman on the floor holding his child.

He leans over the two. Sinister. Dark. Evil.

"Kill the child. I do not care how gruesome," he declares, his voice devoid of emotion, as he stands tall and resolute. With hands clasped behind his back, he strides toward the door, leaving an unsettling air of determination behind him.

"Make no mistake." he states icily, his gaze fixed ahead as he exits the room, leaving his ominous directive hanging in the air.

- 5 Years Later -

A small child walks hand in hand with a maid, their footsteps echoing softly on the polished wooden floors of their master's traditional Japanese house. The dim glow of lanterns casts flickering shadows across the tatami mats, while the moonlight filters through shoji screens, painting patterns of light and shadow on the walls.

Her beautiful ruby eyes peek out from beneath her long bangs as she rubs the sleep from them.

"Are you sleepy, Y/N?" A gentle voice asks the child.

"A bit," the child yawns as the two make their way across the lavish garden of their master's home, unaware of another child watching them from across the garden.

"Hey! You there!" A young child shouts from his chair, pointing at the two.

The maid stops her steps and turns to her master's child, bowing respectfully as the young girl hides behind her.

"Satoru-sama," she says, mimicking the deferential tone she uses with the child's parents.

"Who's the kid behind you? You're always in a rush to hide her," he points accusingly at the young girl cowering behind the comfort of the maid's skirt.

"She is my child, Satoru-sama," she responds, her voice strained with a hint of urgency, eager to leave the uncomfortable situation behind.

You're a kid too, you know. The maid says to herself, aware of the boy's somewhat superiority complex.

Satoru, with a sneer, comments, "She looks like a scared little mouse. Can she even speak?

The maid, filled with a motherly protectiveness over the child, reprimands Satoru. "Satoru-sama, have you—" but before she could finish her reprimand to the rude child, the young girl behind her leaves the comfort of her shield and yells.

"Yes, I can! And you look like a frog!" she shouts in defense.

The maid, shocked by her child's outburst, gasps and covers the child's mouth with her hand.

"She did not mean that!" the flustered maid says, her voice tense with worry about the repercussions the child's words might have with his parents.

Young Satoru gasps in surprise and points at the young girl. "You're rude!" He shouts in defense.

The maid laughs in embarrassment. "She doesn't mean that." The maid repeats.

The maid removes her hand over the child's mouth and slightly pushes her head down in a bow.

"She's sorry about what she said, Satoru-sama," the maid says, wanting nothing more than to leave the young boy and head to their room. "Apologize to Satoru-sama, Y/N." The maid whispers to the child.

"I didn't meant it," the young girl mutters in apology.

Satoru laughs at the young girl. "It's 'I didn't mean it,' stupid mouse," he says confidently, reveling in his perceived superiority over the girl.

The young girl fueled with anger suddenly stomps on young Satoru's. "You're a meany!" She shouts in frustration over the annoying ugly boy before her.

Satoru gasps although not in pain but surprise at the young girl's defiance. Before he could say anything the maid laughs in embarrassment.

"Ah, young Y/N is cranky for not eating any chocolate this evening for dinner. Please forgive her rude behavior, Satoru-sama," the maid says, her voice tinged with a subtle hint of concern as she carefully chooses her words, hoping to deflect any suspicion or ire from the young boy.

The maid rushes to pick up the young girl and carries her over her shoulder. The child's dress frills in the air as the evening air chills the night.

"I'm not cranky," the girl mutters before turning to look at the young boy at the center of the garden, teasing him as she stares at those big, blue, ugly eyes.

Before the two disappear inside the house, she sticks her tongue out at the young boy in playful retaliation.

Young Satoru sneers in mock annoyance at the girl's antics. What an annoying girl!

Satoru walks to his bedroom, his footsteps softly tapping the ground as he considers their exchange.

Eventually, young Satoru lies on his bed, about to sleep. Before he could succumb to slumber, he exhales loudly, thinking about the encounter. "Red," he murmurs, remembering the peculiar crystal rubies of the girl he encountered.

-

Editor's note: A the start of childhood romance ~

[lakesbian]

and now for our Checking In With The Dallon Sisters poasting

Panacea shook her head, “Tattletale found a way around my sister’s invincibility. Glory Girl was bitten pretty badly, which is why I didn’t come sooner. I think it hits you harder, psychologically, when you’re pretty much invincible but you get hurt anyways. But we’re okay now. She’s healed but sulking. I- I’m alright. Bump on my head, but I’m okay.”

victoria is demonstrably having a bad time with the previously noted psychological pain of being forcibly reminded that, no matter how hard she tries, she will never be the spotless, invincible, perfect hero she wants to be. the bug bites suck obviously but the "sulking" After being healed is an indicator of where it really hurt--not just physically.

(amy's power reminds me of. do you guys know that one tumblr post about the concept of exploring the horror potential inherent to D&D-esque fantasy healers? like, the horror inherent to being perfectly, magically healed from horrifying injury a hundred times over, and being expected to just get up and keep fighting afterwards, without any regards to how your mental health is doing. that's exactly how amy's power functions: you're made physically better than ever, and expected to get back up and keep being a hero, but you still have the memory of the pain and the lingering psychological aftereffects. but, like, you're fine now, so you just need to get over it and go back to throwing yourself in the line of fire, okay?)

amy is also right off the bat clearly not doing so hot--she's acting very shy and withdrawn and unsure compared to both of her prior appearances. obviously that is due to the horror of some random villain going "btw, remember that you're ontologically an invader into the family you are trying to belong in!" but i think it's probably compounded by the fact that amy is so used to being treated either 1. like she's intrinsically awful/unwanted or 2. like she's only valuable/desirable as a resource by Everyone But Victoria that walking into a room of heroes w/o victoria by her side is always liable to make her insecure and withdrawn.

oh, and the burnout. obviously the severe fucking burnout.

“No, I hated that he would have a normal life, because I’d given up mine.  I was scared that I might intentionally make a mistake.  That I might let myself fuck up the procedure with this kid.  I could have killed him or ruined his life, but it would have eased the pressure.  Lowered expectations, you know?  Maybe it would have even lowered my own expectations for myself.  I… I was just so tired.  So exhausted.  I actually considered, for the briefest moment, abandoning a child to suffer or die.” “That sounds like more than just exhaustion,” Gallant replied, quietly. “Is this how it starts?  Is this the point I start becoming like my father, whoever he was?”

the "every second i rest, someone dies" conundrum would be nightmarish for her even if she had the healthiest social support net on the planet, but her circumstances make it infinitely worse. she's treated by everyone in her "family" but victoria like an invader, and even victoria has unintentionally stressed the importance of using her healing power in the way that the family wants (i.e. to cover up victoria's police brutality) in order to Be A Good Family Member. amy has internalized that being a good dallon is the same as being a good hero, and failing at being a dallon is the same as being overcome by her ontologically criminal roots. so she works herself to the bone, and when she inevitably starts to falter, she views it as an indicator of something intrinsically wrong with her rather than as a sign that her family + society's expectations for her are harmful and unfair.

and dean's advice for her only reinforces this further:

Gallant let out a slow breath, “I could say no, that you’re never going to be like your father. But I’d be lying. Any of us, all of us, we run the risk of finding our own way down that path. I can see the strain you’re experiencing, the stress. I’ve seen people snap because of less. So yeah. It’s possible.”

he suggests that she try to take a break, but only in the service of "so you can heal more people in the long run." he validates the idea that she could go "down that path," as if becoming a villain--becoming A Bad Person--is a risk all heroes have to fight against on an individual level, as opposed to criminality being a result of circumstance and not even inherently immoral. and of course dean thinks that way--he's a millionaire child soldier, his entire life is predicated on individualist thought with ignorance to the ways in which systematic factors impact people. acknowledging that amy is being horrifically mistreated would mean not only acknowledging the flaws in the PRT system, but acknowledging what might lead people to stray from it, and he simply can't do that. it goes counter to every idea that his life is built on.

he never even tells anyone that amy thought about letting a child die, or if he did, it didn't go anywhere. she was desperate for help all along, increasingly ready to explode, and everyone just ignored it. because as she says:

"My sister’s all I’ve got. The only person with no expectations, who knows me as a person. Carol never really wanted me.  Mark is clinically depressed, so as nice as he is, he’s too focused on himself to really be a dad. My aunt and uncle are sweet, but they’ve got their own problems. So it’s just me and Victoria. Has been almost from the beginning."

this is also where we see another more blatant sign of her crush on victoria--it's very ambiguous as to whether dean is interpreting amy's feelings towards him as meaning "wants to date me" or "jealous of me for dating victoria" but i think it's probably the former because there's no way he would keep his mouth shut if it was the latter, lmao. really what this scene is doing is introducing all of the stressors amy is experiencing that, because they're going unaddressed, because everyone else is refusing to address them and she has internalized that's how it should be, are going to boil over horrifically later on. that burnout and fear of accidentally-on-purpose making a mistake will lead to truly being unable to heal victoria later on. that sense of obligation, that if she can't keep healing she's turning into her father, will contribute to her being unable to just walk away from victoria instead of trying to heal her. her crush on victoria--the ultimate example of how her should-be family has ostracized her--will boil over in the impulsive brain alteration & the sexual nature of the wretch's design.

and all of this would've been avoidable if not for, as mentioned in the prior post abt this interlude, the dallons' and the PRT's enforcement of wallpapering over the kid heroes' pain to Keep Up The Show.

[running-with-the-feels]

I have been hyperfixatint on zombies movies and the mk subzero bros and I bring a new Au, A zombie apocalypse Au, which more or less comes from a virus that originated from the Netherrealm because I want the meshing with literal hellscape to have more consequences. So the Netherrealm virus, idk what to call it, but essentially, turns people into demons, tjr transformation happens fast, how it changes the person depends on environmental factors and the nature of the person.

Bi-Han and Kuai Liang are super young and still living with their family went it begins to spread wildly throughout Earthrelam. Their sister got it when their were trying to escape from a horde of demons, and ended up harming Kuai Liang, leading him to become infected too, but as he was really young, Bi-Han was able to wrestle him enough to get a gag on him to keep him from biting. And it was almost like……Kuai Liang depsite not having any memory or cognitive ability as a human he could still regonize Bi-Han as an important person to him.

So now a young preteen Bi-Han is trying to survive with a feral demon young Kuai Liang who barely is aware of his own identity due to the virus.

The Lin Kuei end up taking them still but it’s further down the line, and they more or less still turn Bi-Han into an assassin. While promising him they will ‘help’ Kuai Liang and try to find a cure, while just using Kuai for experiments and as a free attack dog

Yes, yes, this!!! More of this!!!

No but seriously, that adds so much angst to Bi-Han's character bc he's trying so hard to save his brother and he knows he's being manipulated but he can't give up hope

I'd imagine that Kuai Liang gets "Sent" (ie let loose) on a mission and crosses paths with Hanzo, who along with the Shirai Ryu is working to find survivors and rebuild, and Hanzo sees that he's been infected a long time, but still maintains some level of awareness

Like, most demons just kill everything in sight, but Kuai Liang let the child Hanzo was trying to rescue walk right past him without even growling, and later Hanzo sees him petting a cat

So he's obviously still in there, still a person, and Hanzo knows that this can't be ignored

Imagining that Harumi is still alive, she's probably trying to find a cure, so when Hanzo radios in to tell her what he found, she tells him to bring Kuai Liang in, as they can try and see what has allowed him to fight the virus for so long.

Cue Bi-Han being pissed off and terrified bc his brother has been kidnapped and is about to be experimented on, so he goes rogue to try and find him

Meanwhile Kuai Liang is being treated gently and kindly by Hanzo and Harumi as they try to cure him, the both of them visiting every day and giving him little reminders of human life (toys, candy, blankets, paintings, etc) to see how he reacts

They do eventually find a cure and the job then becomes helping Kuai Liang adjust to being a person again (sans demonic bloodlust) and that's when he and Bi-Han reunite.

Obvs there would be eventual subscorprumi

[penvisions]

of beskar and kyber {chapter 9}

Pairing: Din Djarin x Force Sensitive! Reader (the Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader)

Summary: Back on Tatooine, where you once resided, a lot of thoughts and emotions consume you. Trying your best to field them while Din is away on a job with an eager young man who is willing to prove himself worthy of joining the very Guild that Din betrayed.

Word Count: 8.8k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical fighting, gun violence, ptsd, trauma, nightmares, physical illness, vomiting, avoidance of food, food trauma, physical descriptions of injuries (brief), thoughts of suicidal ideation, mention of past suicide attempt, mentions of past self-harm (not detailed), description of scars, body image issues, sexual trauma, mention of past SA (not detailed / brief), reference to past captivity / slaving environment, major angst, mental illness

A/N: hello, hello. a lot has been going on in my personal life and i had exams due last week. i received a comment on chapter 7 regarding san's mental health and how it felt 'rushed' bc she didn't exhibit typical trauma responses 'enough'. and while i appreciate the reader reaching out, to hear that i'm not writing an angsty enough exploration of her experiences and trauma was a little disheartening, bc i don't want to write such a full bodied character with a rich background to feel 'glossed over'. especially with having planned exactly that for this chapter. healing isn't linear, good moments and passages of time where things almost seem to be okay is completely normal. so with that in mind, this is a rather heavy chapter, i've had it planned for a while to explore san's mental state now that there is no impending return to her mother or inherent survival instincts she's reliant on with din willing to watch out for and protect her. thank you all for reading, i appreciate each and every one of you, you have no idea how much

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist

Sparks flew inside the control room as you rushed to your seat, hands grabbing onto anything it could to help keep balance as you did so, the ship wavering heavily with the effort it was taking to keep the course of flight steady. Alarm blaring to let the pilot and crew know that some damage was taken from a successful hit to one of the engines. Din seemed to be collected, but you could tell that being tracked by another person piloting a ship the second he dropped out of hyperspace was a worry to him. The ship sputtered loudly as the same engine took another hit.

“Hold on.” He announced as he maneuvered the ship into a smooth spiral. The movement offset your sense of gravity and you shut your eyes tight as he tried to evade the determined attacker. One the ship was back into a right side up path, he was muttering to himself too low for you to hear over the cacophony of the ship and blasters raining down all around, some of them zooming past you into the empty space around the ship before tapering off with nothing to land on and cause damage. The bright red of their beams lighting up the near darkness of the control room.

“I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold.” The voice transmission crackled with static as Din quickly jerked one of the few gear shifts, this one seeming to be for some sort of speed control system as the ship lurched to a halt. The spare second of silence with the engines ceasing operation was broken by a twin wooshes that made you think enough damage was done in such a short time that the ship would falter and you’d be left floating dead in space with no running mechanics. Your chest panged with the force of falling forward and the belt around you dug into your front. As soon as you were able to, you turned your head over to the Child, seeing him struggling just the same as you, if not more so due to his size.

With the attacking ship now in front of the Crest, Din quickly locked onto it, the screen beeping with a good track.

“That’s my line.” His voice was even, only a hint of the annoyance he was feeling seeping through before he fired a hit with every blaster canon that was still operating. The ship exploded in front of you with a roar, the flare of it so bright it lit up the control room in a red and orange hue.

Alarms were still blaring as Din tried to gather diagnostics. He only managed to come to one conclusion before the engines powered down and sent you all into darkness, either by his hand or of their own accord to conserve power: the ship was losing fuel.

“Can you flip that back up switch on the wall behind you?”

“Oh, um, yes. Of course.” You unbuckled the belt from around you, still feeling it pressing into your skin even though it had lost its tension. Standing swiftly, you felt around the wall for what he was talking about and flipped it. As soon as you did, a faint red glow signaled that some things were back up and running, drawing from whatever power you had just engaged. He was busy switching switches and pressing controls, trying to get the ship to sputter back to life as much as possible. He seemed to know what he was doing as the engines kicked back on and the ship was moving through space once again.

All was quiet for a few moments of travel until the brightness of an approaching planet came into view, growing to encompass most of the view from the control room as it loomed closer.

“This is Mos Eisley Tower, we are tracking you. Head for bay three-five, over.”

“Copy that, locked in for three-five.”

“He’s fast asleep.” You carefully cradled the Child in your hands, having decided to bathe him while the ship closed in and landed on the planet. He was snoring quietly, the sound rather cute. It had been a challenge, he was small enough to fit in the fresher sink but he hadn’t been a fan of the water temperature the second it had begun to cool during the endeavor. You had just cooed to him, letting him know with soft words that he was alright and could sleep as long as he liked afterwards.

“We can secure him in my room, while we go and get a lay of the land.”

When you didn’t say anything in response or move to place the bundle in the small space, Din came up behind you and placed a hand on your upper arm in a silent question. It took you a moment to gather your thoughts, to figure out how to best explain your hesitancy without seeming too…you didn’t even know. You felt guilt for nearly leaving the small being behind in your attempt to run away from your own fate. Abandoning the only other being who you knew had gone through what you had as your temple got stormed and destroyed all those years ago. How easy it had been for you to defer to self-interest and preservation when he was so reliant and those around him. Another victim you hadn’t even given any thought to. He could easily fall into another situation like the one that you had both found yourselves in, captive at the hands of someone willing to sell you for their best interest. But he couldn’t fight his way out of it like you could.

“He’s…he’s so small, what if he wakes up and get confused?” Your breath shuddered as you spoke, giving away the emotions you felt consumed by.  You avoided looking over at the man close by, not wanting him to get a better read on your thoughts than he already was by the was you were having trouble speaking and muscles so tight you were worried they would snap if you moved too fast.

“He’ll be okay, we won’t be gone long.”

You nodded before securing him in his own little hammock, the door to the small space shutting and locking behind you as you followed the man down the ramp and into the sunlight. As you did so, three small droids no taller than your knees began to approach with various tools in their hands. The suddenness of Din brandishing his blaster and firing a shot toward them had your next step faltering. Confusion colored your expression at the rather admittedly pointless action.

“Hey!”

A short woman with extremely curly hair in a jumpsuit appeared from inside the hangars enclosed space, brandishing a heavy-duty diagnostic clipboard at him.

“You damage one of my droids, you’re gonna have to pay for it!”

“Just keep them away from my ship.” Din pointed a finger at them as they had popped back up from their cowering crouches and busied themselves in the presence of their owner.

“Yeah? Think that’s a good idea, do you? Let’s look at your ship.” Her eyes took in the tall form of the armored man in front of her, flickering to you behind him still atop the ramp, hidden mostly in the shadows of the interior. You had stopped following so closely as the blaster shot had rang through the air, not wanting to cause any trouble of your own. It was now, you were realizing, that you hadn’t really seen the man interact with another person in such a setting. The display he was putting on new to you after putting so much distance on direct interactions back on Sorgan. You had never actually seen him in a larger, more intricate setting.

Of course he would be different than when alone with you, the cautious and careful demeanor reserved only for you and the Child. Gruff nature seeming to be the way he operated with other people, new people. He didn’t mince words, you realized, and was a man of so little to begin with. It would make sense he had no notion of alluding to things, saying them plainly as they came to him. As the mechanic took a precursory look over the rather battered ship, you adjusted the cloak over your shoulders, making sure the front panels of it covered the handle of your weapon that was fastened to your belt.

The hemming and hawing of the mechanic filled the space with a one-sided conversation as you and Din watched her swivel about, taking stock of things that needed to be repaired and the damage done in such a small interaction.

“How did you even land? That’s gonna set you back.” She stepped away from the ship, facing the armored man directly now. Her expression was serious, the glint in her eye letting you know she was confident in her skills and knowledge to know that what she said was true. That most people didn’t argue with her when she told them what was wrong with their ships.  

“I’ve got 500 Imperial credits.” Was his easy response as he reached into a hidden pouch on his belt, pulling out a small pouch.

“That’s all you got?” She swiped the pouch from his offered hand harshly, as if worried he was only brandishing them at her and not actually going to hand them over in exchange for the work. She turned to address the droids that were still milling about the hangar space. “Well, what do you guys think?”

They only chittered in response, now all gathered beside her.

“That should at least cover the hangar.” Her eyes darted from him to you and back.

“I’ll get you your money.” His visor was tilted down as he addressed her seriously, no notes of betrayal in his tone.

“Hmm, I’ve heard that before.” She turned her full attention and sharp eyes to you, apparently done talking with him. “What, your wife not have anything to contribute?”

You resisted the urge to correct her and when Din didn’t your stomach did a flip. You tried not to let that little detail wiggle its way into your already overwhelmed mind, not wanting to dispel energy on overthinking the exchange. She focused on him again, seeing that you weren’t going to respond based on the way you had tensed slightly at her words.

“She’s to help earn credits to pay for the repairs as well.” He didn’t turn toward you as he spoke, keeping his gaze on the rather animated mechanic in front of him. “Just remember-“

“Yeah, no droids. I heard ya. You don’t have to say it twice.” Before she even finished talking, Din was walking off toward what you assumed was an exist route that opened up into the street of Mos Eisley.

His figure disappeared up the small set of steps that lead to it without so much as a glance over his shoulder to see if you were following.

“Jeez. Whomp rat.” The mechanic muttered under her breath. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the exchange, it was so interesting to see him interact with someone who didn’t seem to be afraid or intimidated by him in the slightest. She reminded you a bit of Cara and it softened your heart despite the words she had used to address you.

“You coulda picked a nicer man. With better people skills, no idea how he managed to get you.”

“He’s alright most of the time.” You offered her a small smile, reaching into your own pocket. Ignoring the way your chest fluttered at the insinuation of her words, you held out a small pouch of credits to her as well. You had divvied up your own currency when taking stock of things last night, wanting to keep some aboard the ship, some in your bag, and some on your person in case anything should arise. You had forgone your bag today, opting to leave it on the ship since you didn’t anticipate being gone long despite not knowing what was on the mental do-to list of your companion.

“For your troubles.” She reached out far more gently than she had with Din. Opening the pouch to quickly look over what you had just handed her. She looked up to you, with a cheeky grin you weren’t too sure how to read.

“This will help cover the repair for the fuel line, but it’s a lot of damage.”

“We’ll get you the money, you have my word.” As you turned, the front of your cloak lifted with a gust of wind, your weapon glinting in the sunlight. Her eyes widened slightly at the exposure of it, but her demeanor didn’t change in the slightest. She simply nodded at you and waved you away to get started on the repairs. Turning her attention to the droids, she started barking orders of things for them to fetch her.

The streets were busy, the further you followed Din into the city, away from the hangar and the outskirts that bled into the openness of the desert. You tried to keep a distance of a few feet behind him, but he was a fast walker. As he turned a corner, you spied a display of storm trooper helmets mounted on spikes and your heart nearly stopped. Steps faltering, you stood in front of them and took in the rust and blood that had been baked into the metal from the heat of the suns. They had to have been here for years. But for all the Maker was good, you couldn’t recall ever seeing the set up before during your previous time on the planet. Maybe you had been too preoccupied, maybe it had been a recent installment as a result of a battle?

You knew there were Imperial remnants scattered all over the galaxy, that much was to be expected after such an all-encompassing and long regime. But you hadn’t faced an actual storm trooper since before your capture, when whispers of the Empire falling had just begun to spread through word of mouth and the destruction of the Death Star was still a startling event. You had considered coming out of hiding then, to reach out to the few who had been rumored to help eradicate the whole organization. But you had been scared, worried, ashamed.

The names Luke and Leia Skywalker said on every planet, ushered in reverent tones. You hadn’t been in touch with the Force much during those days, your saber locked away in a trunk and buried deep in the place you hadn’t been able to call home, despite being there for so long at that point. Meditation and practiced routines with a wooden staff had been all that you kept up from your training, worried about drawing attention by doing anything else even that far out into the desert with no one the wiser of where you were.

Your mind was trying fruitlessly to supply a reason as to why they were there in front of you, but it couldn’t. It just was. Glaringly, jarringly there.

“They got what was comin’ to them.” A passerby nodded at you, noticing the way you seemed almost frozen in your stance. You nodded back to them, not willing to verbally speak with the person. They moved on down the street, in the direction opposite of where you had been following Din’s lead. The man’s steps were shuffling, while Din’s were not. The armored man was suddenly beside you and when you turned back around you tried not to let your surprise show.

He looked from you to the helmets and back. The heat of his eyes through the visor could rival the suns for all the concentration he was focusing on you in that moment. As if he was trying to read everything, he could from the way wrinkles formed over your brow as it had furrowed to the slightest downturn of your lips as your gaze focused on the display before you and he was catching a glimpse of the memories playing behind them.

“Cuyir gar jate?”

Are you okay?

Pitched low, a few feet from you, you would be the only one to hear his words. They didn’t register for a second, your thoughts consuming you again the moment white armor filled your gaze. Anxiety hummed through you, making your fingers and arms tingle, your legs tense. Your lungs felt much like they had when still healing from the metal that had made a home in and around them, all those weeks ago, it was hard to take a full breath.

“Elek, ni ceta.”

Yes, I’m sorry.

“Nayc linibar at cuyir.  Ni shi turned rud bal gar rucuyir dar.”

No need to be. I just turned around and you were gone.

Standing shoulder to shoulder, a breath of space between the pauldrons atop his and the fabric of your cloak. Being this close allowed you the realization that he made up a large, broad figure. Intimidating to some, but you were beginning to see around the walls he had meticulously built and underneath the armor. Privy to things most people never would be, all because he was letting you. Maybe letting him catch a glimpse of your own nature would be helpful…

“Ganar gar ru'akaanir ti verde?”

Have you fought with them before?

“Elek, val ru'ram'or te jetiise bajur-taap.” 

Yes, they attacked the Jedi school.

“Pehea ruug'la rucuyir gar?”

How old were you?

“Ta'raysh.”

Ten.

Silence fell, something permeating it that you didn’t want to explore. Emotions overwhelming and the conversation too real to handle, despite giving the man answers to the questions he had asked. Having wanted to provide answers to him. He had wanted to know, however small and painful, he had wanted to know. You could understand that, you were traveling on his ship after all. Of course he wanted to know some things about you. Needing to be alone, to not have the weight of the visor trained on you, you took a step back and looked down the street to your right. A faint buzz of conversation and movement could be heard from further down, indicating that the marketplace wasn’t too far from your position.

“Ni linibar kebise, cuyir bic jate par ni at slanar?”

I need some things, is it okay for me to go?

Feeling the small tug at the corner of your mouth as you try to mask your emotions from the man in front of you, you cut your eyes at him to get a glimpse. The visor stayed still, facing the display of the helmets still, but that didn’t mean that where his attention was focused. He could’ve very well been clocking the nerves that were sparking all along your body as anxiety smoldered inside and you would be none the wiser.

“Urcir norac sha te crest?”

Meet back at the Crest?

All you could manage was a single nod of confirmation before you were walking away from him, down a side street.

There was no trace of you other than the collection of things that had been deposited atop the makeshift table when Din returned to the hangar and ascended the ramp into the Crest. He scanned the space of the hold, not finding any other hints as to where you were other than your cloak neatly folded and placed atop the crate he had given you to store your belongings in. Heaving a sigh, he went to retrieve a bag of his own when the open door of his quarters caught his attention. The small space was empty, the blanket you had wrapped the Child in laying in a crumpled heap right in the middle of the cot.

“Hey!” His voice boomed across the hangar as he bounded down the ramp with quick steps, tension drawing him tight and sparking the beginning of a headache about his temples. The unknown on top of the questions he hadn’t been able to keep quelled earlier today in front of those kriffing helmets. The stab of fear that he pushed you had made his chest tight underneath the armor until you had given him answers. Something he had so selfishly sought out from you, knowing he had to right. But you had shared with him.

The commotion of the mechanic jolting awake could be heard from somewhere within the enclosed area of the surrounding infrastructure. Calls of her being there and awake making their way to his ears as he tried to push down the panic that rose in him the longer he didn’t know where you or the Kid were.

Surely you wouldn’t have just taken him and run? You couldn’t have, you had all but promised him you would return to the ship. Why would you have purchased whatever you had and left it only to disappear with the Child?

“Where is he?” Din gruffly demanded as her small form appeared, cradling the Child in her arms.   

“Quiet! Oh, you woke it up!” She spoke between soft hushes and bounces in an attempt to calm him down. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to get it to sleep?”

“Give him to me.” Din pointed a finger at her, letting his anger and emotions get the better of him in light of the unknown

“Not so fast.” She fired back at him, her own annoyance flaring at his aggressive behavior. “You know, you have an awful lot to learn about raising a young one. At least your wife, really nice girl, came back and asked me to watch over him if he woke up.”

“She left?” His tone was still harsh, but not as loud now, as he realized everything seemed okay. It was good, you had come back and tended to the Child when you dropped off whatever you had gotten at the marketplace. Visor aimed at the now calm form of the Child, taking in the way he seemed to be okay at the mention of you and in the arms of the mechanic. He was gazing up at her with wide, curious eyes.

“Said she needed a few more things but wanted to check on the little one. A load more responsible than you, not even telling me he was on board all alone.”

“Was… she okay when she returned?” Din was hesitant to ask but pushed through the feeling because the need to know overwhelmed him. He could ask you, he was aware of that, but you would most likely give a perfunctory answer. Something to appease him and seem like everything was okay or at least that you have everything under control. But the shouting, the nightmare, the crying he could hear from the shower the night before. The way you had seemed so hopeless and fragile when you said you could still feel their hands all over you…

It was concerning. Din could help to heal your body, heal you of physical injuries and tend to them as they required. Should you allow him to. But mentally? He had no idea how to even offer his help, beyond pulling you to him and making you feel safe. But even that could be in poor taste, he was realizing, when so much of your trauma stemmed from physical touch in the first place. 

“Seemed alright, a little anxious. Was kind enough to bring me some lunch.”

“Did she eat?”

“I don’t know, I’m not her keeper.” The mechanic tempered back with a huff. She seemed to soften momentarily, as she hushed and bounced the Child in her arms once again. “I didn’t see it, but she could’ve while out and about.”

She continued on to let him know the progress on the ship, messing with the diagnostic readings on the mechanics she had hooked the ship up to. As she spoke, he retrieved the bag he had come back for, letting it hang from his hand in favor of tossing it over his shoulder. With a rather pointed remark about starting the other repairs aside from the fuel line, she glanced down at the cooing Kid in her arms.

“I figured you were good for the money, since you have an extra mouth to feed and the reassurances of your wife.”

“Thank you,” His words were sincere, relief flooding him as everything did seem to be okay. You had come back with a promise to return, talked to the mechanic to check on the progress of the repairs, assured her of proper payment, and acted with responsibility.

The mechanic seemed momentarily taken aback by his genuine thanks, much like you had been when he first extended what comforts he could provide to you.

As you rounded the corner, with a heavy second haul of items, you took notice of the scene in front of the hangar door. There was a young man beside two speeders, the mechanic who was holding the Child securely in her arms, and Din, who you could sense was rather tense even from the distance.

“Hey, Mando. What do you think?” A younger man preened as he leaned back against one of the two speeders parked outside of the hanger. He was about your height, if not a bit taller. Dark hair, an earring glinted in the two-fold sunshine beaming down on the planet, and predominantly black outfit with blue accents and vest. No armor adorned his body. Seemingly proud of himself for collecting them at what you were sure was the behest of Din, possibly for a job he managed to find. “Not too shabby, huh?”

Din was busy placing his bag atop the one closest to him, walking up and down the length of it as he looked it over. You watched him as he did so, approaching the small group.

“What’d you expect? This ain’t Corelia.” The young man nodded his head in greeting toward the mechanic. She didn’t seem too impressed, but the Child giggled in her arms, drawing attention to himself. Your approaching figure caught the young man’s attention and his brows disappeared into his dark hairline as you looked you over.

You had forgone your cloak for your second run into the city, needing to try on vambraces and some other items. That left you in your high collared tank top, your upper arms exposed and feeling the heat of the day. Your saber was secured inside the pouch fastened by two straps to your right thigh, over the black of your form fitting trousers. You had already made the knee pads you purchased as a part of your attire. In a huff of exasperation in the middle of the marketplace, you had braided your hair to one side and looped it on along the back of your neck with a pin.

“And who might you be?”

You ignored him, not liking his tone or the air about him. His entire demeanor and presence activating your instincts for flight. Instead, you sidled up a few feet from Din.

“Oh c’mon, don’t be that way. I’m here to help your friend, Mando.” The volume of his voice rose a little, making you uncomfortable even more so. You fixed him with a stern look, letting him know you weren’t going to play along, manners were for nice people and something about him didn’t sit right with you. He held his hands up in mock surrender, though the cheeky grin pulling at his lips made your skin crawl. He was exactly the type of person who you would’ve sourced information from once upon a time, but now you wanted nothing to do with his type.

“Mar’eyir a bora?” Find a job? You turned your attention back to the armor wall that Din made up, the beskar glinting beautifully where the suns shown on it directly, not wanting to deal with the young man anymore.

“Yes.” He responded in Basic, closing the distance between you and reaching for the strap of your bag to gently pull it from you. As he did so, he pressed his helmet to your forehead by way of greeting. The hand he wasn’t holding the bag with hovered over the small of your back as he walked you toward the entrance of the hangar space. He hadn’t touched you since untangling from you earlier in the day and it was thrilling, despite it being so casual. Despite the mental exhaustion that was settling in from a day of interaction with too many people.

“Give me a minute.”  Were the simple words thrown over his shoulder as he guided you through the door and down the steps into the enclosed space. The ship was open, as you had left it, and the side paneling along it was removed to show where the mechanic was working on things. You let him guide you further, toward the ship. He placed your bag town on the makeshift table, beside the one you had already dropped off earlier before turning to face you. He just took in the way you began to dig through it, pulling out a pouch that clinked. You opened it to reveal thin, dark rings of metal. Setting it aside you pulled out a vambrace, one that was made of a dark metal as well, it would fit perfectly over the gloves you adorned.

“I haven’t programmed my chain code into it yet, I’m a little hesitant to, if I’m being honest. But I got one with communication controls.” You held it up to show him with a small grin, rather proud of your find and the cost hadn’t been too bad to get it up and running. The scrubbing and reprogramming had been a bit steep, but it would be worth it to have a scrapped mechanism you could customize for your needs. “It only has short range, but I figured that would be good enough for while you’re out on jobs or I’m away from the ship.”

When no answer came from him, you turned worried eyes over the helmet. Your mouth was open, and words were rushing out before you could stop them. Letting the man in front of you be privy to the overthinking nature that you possessed. Prattling was a nervous habit, one that you had thought you had grown out of being alone a majority of the time, it having turned into stubborn silence in wake of a mental barrage. But something about the man in front of you brought it back to life. Not wanting to seem like a bother or say the wrong thing and then ending up saying a whole lot more than was necessary.

“That is, if you want to keep in touch while separated. I didn’t mean to insinuate that I needed to be able to get ahold of you at all times. You’re a grown man. I’m assuming? I mean, I’ve seen…you…before but you’re rather fit and that doesn’t really reflect age. Oh Maker, I don’t even know how old you are, I might be older than you.” You ducked your gaze, eyes focusing on the cuirass as you felt the heat of embarrassment creep up your neck. Self-consciousness taking a hold of you with its gnarled hands and pulling to make your skin feel too tight and uncomfortable.

“Calm, mesh’la.” Din’s deep voice washed over you in an easy chuckle paired with the nickname he favored had your stomach fluttering. He closed the distance and brought a gloved palm grip to rest it atop both of your hands where the vambrace was still in your grip. You hadn’t realized that they had begun to tremble slightly.

“I just- I don’t want to overstep.” 

“It was good for you to get a comm link.” His fingers tangled with your own as he took the vambrace from you and began to inspect it. With the helmet no longer trained on you so directly, it was easier to take a deep breath to recenter. The device beeped to life under his gloved fingers, and he punched in some information before holding moving to fit it over your hand and secured it to your left wrist. He lifted a hand to the right side of his helmet and your comm link blinked to signal an incoming transmission. All set, it seemed. “Your puck had your age displayed, we’re very close.”

He shifted on his feet, creating space as he did so. A weird tension blossomed in the space, putting you on edge. Both of you so consumed by internal conflicts and worries. Of the unknown that had settled over the coming days.

“Don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”

“Okay.”

“Just… be here when I return.”

“O-of course.”

Without another word, the armored man departed.

Being aboard the ship alone was a weird phenomenon. Yes, the Child was still with you, but it was a foreign feeling to be here without the shape and presence of Din Djarin. He had told you that the space was yours as much as it was his, but that hadn’t settled into a concrete thing quite yet. It was still new, all of it and it was overwhelming.

Being out of captivity, being free, traveling, being on a ship. Having a ship be your new settlement of sorts, something you hadn’t ever really considered as you sought out whatever peace you could, too ignorant of ship mechanics and it being too handsome of an investment to make. Breathing out a heavy sigh, you cradled the small figure in your lap. You had been sat for quite a while, meditating. The Child settling into the space of your crossed legs to do the same. It had taken him a long time to settle and focus, as it always did when he wanted to join you, but once he did he had been silent for as long as he was able to.

He was fidgeting now, breaking your own concentration.

Feeling a little foolish, you hit the call button on your vambrace. Heart beating fast as it waited for pickup to make a connection. When it pinged, you startled a little at how quickly the low, full-bodied voice displayed cleanly over the line.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing! Everything is okay.” You had no idea why you were so nervous; it was just a conversation.

“…okay.”

“Um, I was- I was wondering if I could take ad’ika out for a while.” You gathered the Child in the crook of your right arm, his eyes trained on the small speaker Din’s voice was coming from. He cooed as you stood, reaching for the vambrace, but you offered him your fingers instead. He gripped them tight, legs kicking out slightly as he wiggled about. You felt a wide smile pull at your lips as he loosened his grip and you made grabby motions at him, picking at the fabric of his outfit. His giggles were loud, and it made warmth blossom in your chest to hear them so unbridled. Your own soft laughter joining his. “Just for some fresh air! We’re so far from the city center, just around the hangar, so he can see the sunset.”

“That…should be fine.”

“Only if you’re okay with it. He’s in your care.”

“Ad’ika?”

“Oh,” You breathed a gentle laugh at the confusion you detected in his single word. Setting the happy child down atop the makeshift table, you opened a cannister of fruit for him to munch on before moving toward the paneling. You finished your thought as you opened it up to reveal the small kitchen set up and reached to activate the caf brewer, slightly nervous he was going to tell you it was an unnecessary shift. “Figured since we don’t know his name and he doesn’t want to tell me.”

“He talks to you, in actual words?”

“No, no, um, it’s…rather complicated.” You tried not to huff out your exasperation of finding only one pod of caf left in a storage drawer. You popped it into place and set a mug underneath where it would brew from once finished. The clink of the mug was loud, creating a bit of static over the line.

“No words. But talks.”

“…yes.”

“Letting him watch the sunset should be fine.”

“I’ll be on high alert, just want him to not feel trapped here on the ship is all.” When nothing was said in response, you shifted your weight from leg to leg as you stood before the caf machine began to brew with a sputter. “Okay, well, um, thank you.”

The line disconnected.

“Okay, ad’ika, we’re waiting on this drink, and we can go outside.” You turned to smile at him atop the makeshift table, trying to push down the weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. His little trill of a response fell on deaf ears. The guilt of having just messed up somehow bubbling up and making it hard to think. You focused on the line of liquid as it cascaded down from the machine into the mug, the noises it was making as it did so to try and center yourself.

Holding a steaming mug in one hand and a small snack in the other, you let the Child walk alongside you down the ramp and through the hangar space. You waved in greeting at the mechanic who was milling about. It seemed like she was about done for the day, the droids gathering things and putting them away in a flurry of movement around her. She returned the wave before disappearing inside.

“We have to be careful, okay?” We aren’t taking anything for you to hide in, so if you get scared I’ll hold you, got it?” You glanced down at him beside you as you walked through the door that led out to the street. He nodded, making little noises as he took in the empty surroundings. With the suns so close to the horizon, about to disappear beneath it, many people were already retired for the day.

You settled yourself against the wall that made up the hangar, facing the direction of the suns as they began to dip down and disappear. Sipping from the mug in your hand as you crossed your legs in front of you, leaving them stretched out from being busy all day. You had tried to understand what the mechanic was doing, asking her questions and to walk you through the basics of what she was doing before you had moved onto other things and looking after the small figure that was currently bustling about in front of you.

He was seated as well, small claws reaching out to play with rocks and watch a scant lizard or bug as it crawled about. Something with a stinger got too close to him and you waved a hand to get it away from him, the tingles of the Force sparking in your palm. That drew his attention back to you, his eyes focused on the snack you had brought out and was resting on your knee. He held a hand out much like you had just done and closed his eyes in concentration. The furrowing of his small brow created deep wrinkles and it made you hold a laugh back at how much like an old man he looked with them. The snack lifted into the air slightly, wobbled, and then fell back to your knee with a muffled thump.

“It’s tough, I know.” You soothed, knowing how hard it was to begin to harness the energy of things. The concentration and focus it took second nature to you at this point. Something that had come back to you easily, you were thankful for, after so many years of the ability being dormant. You raised a hand and motioned for him to give it another try. His eyes closed and he spread his claw wider.

The snack hurdled toward him, too fast for him to catch it and it smacked him in the forehead before falling to the sand. He let out a startled noise as it did, his wide eyes beseeching as he looked at you. You were setting down your mug and rushing over to him as his eyes watered and he began to breathe in a weird staccato.

“Oh, hey, hey, no, no.” Reaching for him, you pulled him to your chest and his claws dug into the fabric of your cloak. “You’re okay, ad’ika.”

You both sat there, watching the sky fade from orange hues to the darkness of night. As stars began to twinkle above, you pushed yourself up and made your way back to the Crest, the small creature fast asleep in your tight embrace.

Deciding on a shower to wash away the day, you wrestled with the notion of whether or not you should disengage the ramp to close up the ship. You trusted the mechanic, but that could only go so far. She said she had engaged the alarm system for the hangar once you returned, letting you know that she had shared it with your husband.

You knew she meant the word as a way of referring to Din, not knowing his name or knowing what else to call him. But that word, that term, it felt like a threat. The last time you had heard it, it had been one and it was triggering as all the ugly details of the last encounter you had with your mother rose up along with the acidic burn of bile in your throat.  

It felt like something was coming alive in your very body, awakening after a long slumber, and stretching its claws up your chest as it unfurled. Something dark and sinister, the weight of it suffocating and making it hard to breathe. It was something you recognized, something you knew too well as it perked up and burrowed into you, like it knew it was home and there to stay. Your head felt light as quick breaths were all you could manage.

Double checking that the door to Din’s personal quarters was locked and the Child was safely inside, you moved into the fresher with hands guiding you along the walls. Locking that door behind you, you turned the water on full blast, cranking the handle to make it as hot as it would go. The first drops of water barely had time to travel down to hit the tile of the stall floor before you were throwing up what little was in your stomach.

Tearing the off, it piled on the floor around you before you stepped into the stall. You hissed as the water hit your skin, the heat and steam of it filling the small room in almost a suffocating way. But it was welcome, the strong of it on your skin as it drowned the thing that was stirring inside. You had sunk to your knees, sitting right underneath the stream of water. Hanging your head, the wet locks of your hair stuck to your body as you got lost in the thoughts of how the day had felt too easy, too normal.

Everything from the way you had woken up to an empty bed after sleeping tangled in the arms of a man you hardly knew to the domesticity of talking to him on the comm link as you and the Child played around. It was all so casual, so domestic, so completely ordinary. And it felt good, to experience normal things, things people took for granted. And that felt bad, the guilt of wanting it to continue. To keep living when for so long you hadn’t wanted to.

You had done so many questionable things in your life, faced so many threats and that was before becoming the shell of a person at the hands of bandits had turned you into, who kept you so drugged up you hadn’t even known where you had been. You didn’t deserve any of it and how could you?

The berating words and actions of your mother having molded into your very psyche reminding you that you were a bad person for choosing to live your life the way you had wanted to at a young age. That choice leading you to a life on the run, to a life of stealing and cheating and hurting others to ensure your own protection. That choice leading to a target on your back that wouldn’t disappear until you took your last breath. It was all your fault, the hand you had been dealt. All a result of wanting to learn how to harness the skill a stranger had noticed in you.

Lightly tracing the scars you had dug into the skin of your thighs, your hands began to shake with wracking sobs. Tears falling fat and heavy from your eyes to coalesce with the steaming water cascading down your body. Eyes unfocused as you tried to watch the way your nails were now digging into the flesh as you gripped your legs so tight your knuckles popped.

Just as you were standing from your seat at the makeshift table, skeleton assembly of what would turn into a set of pauldrons, you sighed. It was late, sleep evading you in wake of your breakdown. To distract yourself, you had set to working with your hands, beginning to work the materials you had gathered into armor for yourself.

The metal rings in various sizes you had purchased earlier were strewn about in small, organized piles alongside two types of pliers, a mandrel, and a pair of snug leather gloves to protect your fingers as you worked. You had purchased rings that were already annealed twice over, before and after the openings were flattened and drifted in the traditional wedge style you preferred over circular. It would turn into a sturdier piece, the strength due to the harder to damage bonding.

Stretching your back, hands on your lower back you paused as faint footsteps sounded outside as someone trekked toward the ship. Shrugging your cloak on over the full outfit you had changed into after your shower, you made sure the Child was secure in the hammock and hit the panel beside the door to close the small space off from the rest of the ship, the mechanism for the lock clicking.

A blaster shot buzzed through the air and you dodged it, the hit making contact with the paneling behind you. It pinged before ricocheting and the single light you had on went out with a pop. A muttered curse was all the warning you had as you turned on your feet and raised a hand, reaching out with the Force to hold whoever had dared to enter the ship in place. The figure looked vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t place them in the sudden darkness of the ship.

The sounds of the person struggling against the hold you had on them were too close for comfort, and you swiped a foot out to kick their feet out from under them. As they went down, they fired something that wasn’t a blaster. The sting of something sharp reverberated down your right arm, tingling as a cool feeling washed through your veins almost immediately.

“Sedative, learned from a friend it would be the only way to take you down.” The voice spoke into the darkness, not registering quite yet in your mind. You cursed, pulling the long needle from where it had penetrated the fabric of your cloak to embed itself into the flesh of your arm. You dropped it to the ground, feeling the coolness of the sedative take over, lighting you up and muddling your brain in a way you hadn’t been in weeks.

You tried to move away, to put the makeshift table between you and the voice, but you ended up leaning heavily on the surface, arms already feeling too heavy to control. The hush of a blade being drawn had your heart beating a little faster, only aiding in the drugs taking over that much faster.

Breath hissing out as the blade sliced into the side of your thigh, you tried to step back but stumbled as your legs felt as if weights had been tied to them. Arms swiping across the table as you tried to balance yourself, sending the metal rings atop it to scatter everywhere with little pings. Vision wavering from focused to fuzzy made it hard to see the rope and cuff links now in the man’s hands, mind too sluggish to listen to your instincts and put up more of a fight. Blinking profusely, your eyes took in younger man Din had left with yesterday. Only Din was nowhere to be seen and the man seemed particularly focused on you.

“Don’t hurt either of them, take me. Turn me in. Let them go, my bounty is high.” You could only watch as he approached you, body too heavy to usher away from him. His response sounded so far away, as if you were struggling to hear him across a vast distance and not a few feet.

“How many times do I have to tell you people, I don’t care about the money.” He snarled, face ugly as it contorted with his anger and continued misunderstanding. He shoved you harshly to the ground, the body that was no longer under your own control going with the movement. The rings scattered over the floor dug into your skin and clothing, stinging as they did so. He threw himself over you, legs heavy on your own as he pinned you to the floor, reaching to secure the cuffs over your wrist. You swiped out as adrenaline sparked at being pinned down, surging up as best you could with bared teeth. He screamed as you raked your nails down the column of his neck as hard as you could manage, drawing blood in thin lines.

With a scowl he took hold of the front of your cloak and slammed your head down to crack against the metal of the floor. You shouted out at the pain that blossomed there, fuzzy vision graying at the edges.

“I’ll do whatever you want, just let them be.” Your words slurred as you begged, too far gone to do anything else, the sedative he used was either high quality or he had used a lot of it. If it was the only way to get him to change his mind, alter the motives he was working off of, then it was an offer you would make. For the sake of the Child, for the sake of his safety with Din. You could faintly sense the tears that were falling from your eyes, the thought of the Child being captured hurting even more than the predicament you were in. You would take on the world for him to have a good life, the chance at a good life.  

“Not lookin’ for that type of action right now, sweetheart.” Your attacker moved to cuff your ankles together over the leather of your boots. The rope in his hands going around them next. “But Mando is in for a surprise if he ever finds his way out of the desert. His quarries are mine now.”

The look of triumph that could be glimpsed from the faint light seeping into the ship was the last thing you saw as your vision blacked out completely.

The run was rising just as the mount Din had secured entered the outskirts of Mos Eisley. The deep navy-blue of the night sky fading on the horizon to the muted haze of peach sunlight that was cresting over in the signal of a new day. Everything was quiet, the city asleep in the early hour. Outside the hangar entrance was the speeder Din had been comfortable leaving behind with Callican, foolishly he muses now. Whatever had transpired between the young man and Fennec Shand had inspired his abandonment of the job to capture her. Din could only hope that Callican hadn’t done anything too foolish or rash in his shifted focus.

Brandishing his blaster, Din entered the hangar space with quiet steps.  

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taglist: @strawberri-blonde @moonknight-s-cumdump @js-favnanadoongi

dividers by the lovely saradika

[kybelles]

pacat will never not have my distaste bc of this last line cause imagine saying “uhmm actually child prostitution is indeed better than sexual slavery aka the main theme that i built my series on before i decided to go on a softer path instead of keep going with the slavekink novel while continuing to use some aspects of sexual slavery to further the romance between my main characters” it’s like???

setting aside the fact that in terms of meaning this line makes no sense (“which is no choice at all” / “yet still more than is afforded to a slave” -> which is the truth?) claiming that sexual slavery is worse than child rape and prostitution is hypocritical because it overlooks the inherent harm and exploitation present in both scenarios. while the portrayal of sexual slavery within the context of a fictional narrative may be intended for entertainment or thematic exploration, it still involves the dehumanization and exploitation of individuals. on the other hand, child rape and prostitution involve the exploitation and abuse of vulnerable children which is universally condemned due to its severe and lasting impact on victims. therefore, attempting to justify one form of exploitation as somehow less harmful or immoral than another is hypocritical and fails to recognize the gravity of both situations and does them a disservice.

it also makes me grimace how pacat goes out of her way to show how horrible the working conditions are for even the adult pets (from rape rings to participating in other sort of horrible and humiliating activities to keep their patrons’ interests) and yet when damen voices a correct point about the pet system, she has laurent (a character known for his wit and insight) dismiss his point. it makes no sense for me in any way.

[futuremrsdrcullen]

This Love Came Back To Me - Chapter 5

It's Finally Here!!!! I can not apologize enough for how long this took to get out. But here it is! I hope you love it.

Summery- I was completely overwhelmed with this looming dread. This wasn’t just about Bella anymore. Though that was bad enough, this involved me now. Despite how often Edward disregarded my safety and despite how desperately Carlisle tried to protect me from this;

My life was in danger.

It was never going to end was it?

Word Count- 6,235

Warnings- Vampires- and all the things that go along with vampires (blood, biting, age gaps, sparkling, dramatics) a lot more swearing this time. There's some minor injuries and some very minor character death. mentions of vomiting (2 actual vomits, due to injury) Battle, fighting and planning. It's all very happy I promise.

There is no imprinting and there never will be <3

Notes from me- My name is Claire and this! This is finally my third love child. I started writing this on the 27th of July in 2022. I lost hope a few times but it's here and I hope you love it. Thank you, so so much for staying with me.

As always, I DO NOT own The Twilight Saga. All rights go directly to S. Meyer.

Read on AO3 <3

Masterlist <3 (Ch 3, Ch 4)

I love you <3 Thank you for still being here <3

Carlisle’s Point Of View

The more people we took out, the harder it became. They didn’t see us coming. They were barely trained. Some of them were only children.

Yet, I didn’t hesitate.

Their numbers were dwindling, they had to know then that they were going to lose. I watched as most of them decided to go down fighting but out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow dart back into the trees. In any other circumstance, I might have let her go, but she was heading towards the path that would lead her to Y/n.

I had her pinned to the ground before she made it too far into the trees. I cradled her in my arms, facing her away from me. She was so small. I actually did pause.

“Please!” She sobbed. Though it didn’t sound like she was pleading for her life, I couldn’t bring myself to end her at all after it.

I twisted her out of my arms and launched her into a tree. If she’d run again, I would have stopped her and ended it, but she crumpled in on herself. She was backed into a tree analyzing me too.

“Please,” she said again. “I don’t want to fight.”

She wasn’t begging because she wanted to live; she wanted this to be over. She wanted to die. It caught me off guard, but I stayed ready. “Neither do I, child.”  She was only a child. I wanted to be kind, even if these were her last moments. “We’re only defending ourselves.”

She seemed shocked by this. “We didn’t know,” She explained. “Riley lied. I’m sorry.”

I was truly frozen.

If I could spare her, shouldn’t I try? I didn’t wish this girl any harm, but I had my family to consider. I could accept her surrender, but would they? I wouldn’t put Y/n at risk by bringing her into our home. But she was shaking and she was a child. So I couldn’t kill her. I crouched in front of her. She flinched back.

“I will not harm you. I never wanted to harm any of you.” I said with as much kindness as I could muster. “Will you surrender to us? If you do not try to harm us, we promise I will not harm you.”

She didn’t hesitate. She nodded over and over very quickly. “Yes,” she whispered, “Yes, I surrender. I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

And I believed her. I held out my hand and helped her to her feet. “We’ll go meet with the others now… What is your name?”

“Oh.” She still held on to my hand. “Bree.”

I smiled and nodded. “Bree, let my family regroup for a moment, then we’ll have some questions for you. If you answer them honestly, you have nothing to fear.” I didn’t like threatening her, but I didn’t want her to assume my guard was down. Where Y/n was involved, my guard would never be down.

We talked towards the clearing but Jasper met us before we got too far. 

“Carlisle?” He was just checking on me but as soon as he saw her he was ready to attack.

I held out my hand. I said his name but it sounded more like a warning than I’d met for it to. He stared at me like I’d lost it. For a second, I thought that I had.

“What’s going on?”

“She doesn’t want to fight. She’s surrendered.”

Though he was still hesitant, he did fall back. “I’m sorry, but that’s not possible. We can’t have any of the newborns associated with us when the Volturi come.”

“Jasper, she’s only a child.” I understood where he was coming from, but I couldn’t kill her myself. I trusted him to stand by my choice, at least to that point.

“It’s our family on the line here, Carlisle. We can’t afford to have them think we broke this rule.”

“They won’t. I know how they think. If they assume she’s one of ours, it might be the only chance she has. If they still dislike it, they’ll just kill her to punish us.”

He really thought about that for a moment but wasn’t convinced. “This is too dangerous.”

I took a step towards him and placed my hand on his shoulder. “You know I can’t kill her. I have to give her a chance. She’s just a child.”

He glared at me, but he sighed. I almost smiled at him.

“I don’t like this. At least let me take charge of her. You don’t know how to deal with someone who’s been running wild for so long.”

“Sure.” I smiled at him then. “Though I handled you well enough.” He glared at me again with no actual malice behind it.

“We need to be with the others. Alice said we don’t have long.”

I scanned the sky above the trees to find a distant and familiar plume of smoke. I prayed to whatever would listen that she was okay.

Y/n’s Point Of View

Seth continued to nudge me with his nose until I locked eyes with him. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve. I couldn’t look up for long before the world started spinning again and I had to put my head between my knees.

I could feel the shock setting in. I tried to focus on Seth’s breathing, and Bella and Edward’s hushed conversation, and the crackle of the fire. But when I remembered what was burning, I threw up again.

I heard Seth walk away only to come back a moment later accompanied by the sound of plastic. I opened my eyes just barely as he sat down a bottle of water.

I chuckled, “Thank you.” I wasn’t sure I could make myself drink it, but I was still grateful he’d brought it to me.

Next to it he also set down a set bandage wrap, which I could only guess were for my head. I didn’t exactly know how to dress a head wound, but I figured anything was better than bleeding out. Carlisle could fix it later.

Just as I thought his name, I felt as if I could breathe a bit easier. The fight would have to be over there too. Edward wouldn’t be so calm if it wasn’t, or if someone had been hurt. I knew I was probably in shock but I could breathe a bit easier knowing it was over- really and truly over.

I took a small sip of the water he brought me. It was so cold it hurt my teeth but it was still warmer than the snow. When it didn’t immediately hurt my stomach I took another, larger sip. That was all I could handle.

As I put the cap back on- Seth’s body went rigid and he sharply turned to Edward.

“What’s she doing?” Edward asked and Seth whined. I could only tear my eyes from them for a second to find Bella, who was horror struck. Everything passed in slow motion. She didn't look like she was breathing. Edward dropped to his knees. Seth howled, though it sounded more like a scream. It was so loud and broken, my ears were ringing.

“Edward! Edward,” Bella sounded so distant though she was still in the same spot just kneeling in front of Edward. From the pain in his face I knew it was bad.

I tried to sit up- to move closer but I was still bleeding and I didn’t want to make things worse. Seth winced and howled again. It took everything in me not to call out to them.

“What’s happening?”

“We’re fine, we’re going to be okay,” Edward gasped. “Sam- Help him.”

Something like relief washed over me. It wasn’t relief, but he was using the pack plural, which meant Carlisle was safe and the danger wasn’t here. I wasn’t relieved because the agony on Edward’s face meant that something had happened to Jacob.

Bella either hadn’t caught on to that part or her panic was masked by the shock. She had started to melt. Edward easily caught her. While supporting Bella at his side, he moved towards me.

I tried to get his attention. “I’m bleeding…”

“It’s okay, Y/n” He held up a hand like he was trying to assure me. “It’s okay.”

I nodded and he looked at my head wound for a brief second before wrapping it. “Carlisle will need to clean it, but you might not need stitches.”

I had to close my eyes as he wrapped my head. He pulled it tight. It almost hurt. I didn’t say anything more.

“Seth!” Edward shouted. I hoped nothing had gotten worse. “No! You go straight home. Now. As fast as you can!”

Seth cried soft and low. My chest tightened.

“Seth, Trust me. I’ve got them.”

Them, I thought. He was going to carry both of us. I opened my eyes wide. The wolf starred Edward down for one second longer before taking off.

“Edward?” I forced his name out. “What’s-”

“I need you to hold on. Can you do that?” I didn’t know if I could. “Y/n, I have to carry Bella. I need you to hold on to me.”

I was terrified, I was weak, but for Bella, I could do this. I nodded.

He tried to smile at me. “Good. We’ll be with Carlisle soon.” That was a comfort, at least.

Before I knew what was happening I was on his back. I was grateful that I couldn’t choke him, because I used all of my remaining strength to wrap my arms around his neck and hold on. I hid my face in his shoulder so I wouldn’t see the world zoom past us.

“Edward,” Her voice sounded so broken I thought she actually did know something had happened to Jacob. “What happened, Edward? What happened to Sam? Where are we going? What’s happening?”

“We have to go back to the clearing,”  His voice was distant. “There was always a chance, but when it became clear we passed the message to Seth and Sam. The Volturi decided it was time to intercede.”

If they were coming, they’d seek out all of us. It was better not to make it a challenge for them. The last thing we wanted at this point was another fight. As Edward explained it to Bella she made a strange sound. I wondered what she was putting together.

He tried to soothe her, “It’s all going to be fine. Alice can see that.”

“The pack?”

“They had to leave quickly. The Volturi do not honor truce with werewolves.”

I knew he was running out of places to divert her questions. She was going to put together that Jacob was hurt. She wouldn’t take it well. He hadn’t taken it well. My heart broke for them.

She got desperate. She begged him to tell her. I almost told her myself but he finally explained it all in hushed tones. “The pack missed a single newborn. It was over, they were cleaning up. Alice couldn’t have seen…”

“What happened?!” She tried again. 

“Leah got cocky. I imagine she was trying to prove something to Sam. She went after him by herself.”

“Leah,” she repeated, sounding relieved. I hoped he couldn’t hear the way it broke my heart. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Leah wasn’t hurt” He forced the words out.

He told her we were almost to the clearing. I risked a glance at the clear sky. When I saw the smoke I felt sick and hid my face again.

She asked him again to tell her who was hurt. It took him a long time to answer. I knew it hurt him just as much to say it. But she needed to know, if she hadn’t figured it out already.

“Jacob,” He said.

“Of course.” It was all forced.Then it was silent.

I think she passed out. I almost thought to check, but I could tell we were still moving and I could still smell the smoke from before, So I kept my eyes squeezed closed. We’d slowed significantly anyway. I hoped it was almost over.

As soon as I thought the words though, we did stop. And before I could react I was being pulled off of Edwards back and into Carlisle's arms.

He breathed my name. It was so light I almost missed it. I buried my face in his chest. He held me there until he noticed my bandage- or he smelled the blood, I couldn’t be sure.

“You’re hurt.”

“Only a little. Edward said it might not need stitches…” My voice was cracked and broken.

He kissed my forehead and gave me a firm look, “I will look at it when we are home.” though his eyes said he wouldn’t let me down play this.

He didn’t let go of my hand and he led me over to where Edward had set Bella down.

Edward confirmed my earlier suspicions. “She fainted after I told her about him.” He didn’t need to specify, the pain in his face said it all. “She’s still unresponsive.”

“She’s going to wake up in a moment, Edward.” Alice called from somewhere. I couldn’t tell where.

At the same time, Carlisle assured him, “It’s just the shock. I imagine they’ll both have to recover from it tonight.”

I wanted to lie and say I was alright. I wanted them to focus on her, but I remembered the way he looked at me just a moment before and thought better of it. Carlisle held Bella’s wrist and checked his watch.

Once he’d assured Edward again that there was no cause for concern, I asked them “How’s Jacob.”

I regretted it as soon as I saw Edward's face. Through Jacob and the pack's thoughts I knew he had felt his pain, but there was something more than pain there.

“He’ll fully recover.” He was answering my question while comforting his son. Edward’s shoulders relaxed a bit.

I grabbed Bella’s hand. “Did you hear that, Love? Carlisle said he’s going to be okay.” Her hand tightened in mine. 

Alice confirmed that Bella could probably hear us. 

“We’re out of danger now. We’re safe.” I tried. There was a break in my voice.

Edward tried telling her again that Jacob is healing already and he and Carlisle would go check on his progress as soon as they could. She could barely whisper Edward's name when she opened her eyes. She asked again if Jacob was okay.

“I examined him myself,” Carlisle confirmed. She took in every word he said. I smiled encouragingly at him. “His life is not in any danger. It will take a few days for him to be completely recovered- his injuries were… extensive. But he will recover. Sam and Paul got to him quickly. They took him home so they could help him recover. Once he phases back and we're done here, I’ll be able to do a full assessment.”

“He’ll be back to normal?” She asked Edward this time.

He nodded, “Yes, Bella. He won’t have any permanent damage.” She didn’t look convinced. She looked like she wanted to run and check on him herself, but Alice announced that we only had three minutes until the Volturi arrived.

It never felt like there was enough time. 

We got Bella on her feet, albeit mostly supported by Edward. Carlisle and I moved to the middle of our family. He looked towards the opposite side of the clearing. I wondered if they could see them yet.

Though my thoughts were interrupted by a shrill scream that came for a small girl I hadn’t noticed Jasper was guarding. Carlisle left my side for a moment to aid Jasper. I just watched in stunned silence.

“She surrendered,” Edward told me and Bella. “Only Carlisle would think of offering. Jasper doesn’t approve.”

I couldn’t say that I did either, not with Bell this close to her, but she was just a girl. Of course Carlisle would offer. She barely looked 16. He was patient when he spoke with her. He reminded her that our family wouldn’t hurt her.

She wanted Bella, of course. She hadn’t even noticed me. I was grateful again for my relative invisibility.

“Self control is possible and it is the only thing that will save you now.” He continued.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to tell her to hold on and that it would get easier, but it was better that she didn’t notice me. And I didn’t want to give her false hope.

I had to look away from her as Carlisle returned to me. He took my hand and kissed my temple. He was positioned in front of me. Alice was in between me and Bella and Edward was just in front of Bella. The rest of our family formed a united front around us. Only Jasper stayed back to guard the girl- or to guard us from her.

I shuddered.

I almost felt safe, but there was still something dark looming over us. I could hardly stand the silence by the time a group of people in gray cloaks appeared on the other side of the fire.

“Hmm”

Though my knowledge of vampires outside of the Cullens was limited to Riley and Victoria and now this newborn, I could tell this Jane girl was powerful. I knew enough about her to fear her even before I saw her. The men behind her weren’t as intimidating, but I knew better than to underestimate any of them.

Edward welcomed her and she pushed the hood off of her head. In one fluid motion the others did too. It was eerie the way they moved in sync with each other.

“I don’t understand.” Her voice was like a song while utterly uninterested. Her eyes were locked on the girl.

“She surrendered.” Edward said again.

“She was never given a choice, I thought, if she ceased her attack on our family, the right thing to do would be to give her a chance.” Carlisle explained.

“That is irrelevant,” Jane pressed.

He was tense, but unsurprised. “I understand.”

“Well I must say,” she seemed annoyed. “I never expected you to be able to clean this up, and walk away unharmed. How many made it here? With the destruction I’d think about thirty?”

“There were eighteen, including the girl. All of them were untrained.” He answered.

“All newborns? Who created them?”

“Her name was Victoria.” Edward answered  this time he nodded towards the pillar of smoke up the mountain. It looked much farther away than I would have thought possible. 

“I am to assume you took care of her then, Edward?” 

“I did. And the boy she was with.” His tone was harsher than hers. Where she sounded bored, he sounded irritated.

“Hmm, twenty. I’m impressed.” I followed her eyes as he looked at the girl by Jasper. “You there… Your name.” 

Jane smiled at the girl and I couldn’t take my eyes off her face. Before she could answer, she was writhing on the ground. Her screams were the only answer she gave. I looked at Carlisle who only winced, then to Bella for some kind of answer as to what was going on. She looked equally remorseful. Then it was quiet.

“Your name,” Jane repeated.

“Bree,” the girl gasped.

Jane’s smile grew and Bree screamed again. I pulled closer into Carlise’s shoulder- his grip tightened on my hand. I wondered if he’d tell me what was happening later. I wondered if I even wanted to know.

Bree explained what she could remember, after she was able to stop screaming. She agreed that there were around twenty of them, that Riley had ‘trained’ them to look for me and Bella. It was the first time she looked at me, but she wasn’t as crazed as she was before.

“But why? What did this Riley want with these humans?” Jane was almost confused, beyond her amusement.

“He said that the yellow-eyed vampires would kill us if they knew we existed. He said it was only a matter of time before they tracked us down and all he wanted was to live in peace. He said it would be an easy fight, and once we’d won we could keep their prizes for ourselves.” Her words made my skin crawl. “But he said our minds weren’t safe. He said we couldn’t know who created us and we couldn’t know any plans because once we did they could use it to destroy us.”

“It looks like Riley was wrong about the easy part,” Jane added.

Bree nodded. I was grateful whatever Jane was doing to her had stopped so she could speak. “Everything happened so quickly. Riley never came with us. I didn’t want to fight. That one” she nodded towards where Carlisle and I stood. I looked at the snow below our shoes, trying to fade into the background. “said they wouldn’t hurt me if I stopped fighting.”

“Ah but that wasn’t his to offer, young one.” Her voice was gentle. It was still unnerving. “Again I’ll admit that I’m rather impressed. The odds were stacked against you and yet here you all stand, unscathed. Though, I can’t say I’m terribly surprised Bella and Y/n are at the center of this.” I hated the way she said our names- like she was just trying to prove they knew them. 

“Victoria held a grudge against Bella,” Edward said in lieu of an actual explanation.

She laughed like she understood anyway. “They do seem to bring out the wildest reactions of our kind. Her gaze met mine and I completely froze. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Y/n. Aro will be quite disappointed he didn’t get the chance.”

“You’ll have to give him our regards.” Carlisle said.

“Of course.” Jane smiled at him. This time my grip tightened on his hand. “He gave me specific instructions not to harm your human pets this time. But that does remind me, Caius will be very interested when he learns that they are still in fact human. Perhaps he’ll decide to visit.”

“The date is set,” Alice told Jane. That was news to me, but I tried to hide my surprise. I knew it wasn’t exactly true for me, but I couldn’t be sure about Bella. Maybe they had set a date. Maybe they were just exaggerating the truth. I tried not to think about it.

Jane’s smile faded  just slightly, but her eye never left Carlisle. “It was nice to meet you as well, Carlisle- I’d thought Aro was exaggerating. Well, until we meet again.”

I was so lost by her comment, but Carlisle nodded.

She sounded bored again. “Take care of that, Felix… I want to go home.”

“Don’t watch,” Edward whispered. Carlisle pulled me into him so I was facing away. It didn’t stop me from gasping when I heard him break her apart. I held my breath again when the new smoke hit my nose.

When I looked around again, Jane and the others were gone.

Edward took Bella off of her feet again before she could collapse. She curled into him but didn’t say anything. Alice went with them to the house while the others agreed to make sure everything was cleared up. 

Carlisle watched after them for a long moment before asking me if I thought I could make it home without passing out.

I wasn’t certain but I nodded anyway. He told me it would probably be best to keep my eyes closed.

He carried me the entire way home. I was immensely grateful just to be in his arms. I couldn't tell how bad I was shaking. I wouldn't have been able to walk home if I tried, not that he would have let me, anyway.

When we got to our home, Alice and Bella went to Alice's room to get Bella cleaned up. Edward went to Carlisle's office to gather medical supplies while Carlisle looked over my head. Edwards original assessment had been right, I didn't need stitches, but Carlisle still wanted to clean it and keep an eye on my symptoms. 

“You definitely have a concussion.” He made me follow his flashlight with my eyes again. “But it doesn't seem to be getting worse. I don't suspect there is any internal bleeding.”

He kissed me over and over. He promised me it was really and truly over. He promised he would return home quickly- that he just had to check on Jacob, he had to reset his bones. Even I winced at that but I couldn't remember the last time I'd spoken.

He helped me lay out on the couch with my feet propped up by multiple pillows. “Just in case,” I nodded. “Rosalie will be here to check on you in a bit,” I nodded. “Stay like this for as long as you can manage.” I nodded one more time. 

He dropped a blanket over me; It smelled like him. I smiled softly at him. He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead.

“I love you, Y/n” I nodded, he chuckled.

Just a minute later, Edward came downstairs and all of the pain on his face broke my heart. I found a little courage and said his name. 

He froze, Carlisle froze too. They both looked at me. My voice was shallow but I spoke as clear as I could, “It doesn't have to be this hard, Edward.”

“I-” He tried.

I didn't let him. “No, just listen.” It was hard to speak, but I had to say it since it seemed no one else would. “It doesn't have to be either or. You don't have to choose. Neither does Bella. It doesn't have to be this cheesy vampire vs werewolf cliche. You can choose to just be happy.”

This time he looked out the window, towards the woods. My eyes filled with tears. He let my words sink in.

“Just don't close any doors. And don't let them close any doors. Let yourselves be happy.”

He nodded once, mumbled a thanks, then left.

Carlisle watched after him for a moment. I caught his attention and said, “I'll have about a million questions when you get back.” 

“I'm sure you will.”

I whispered, “I love you.” He smiled softly at me before following his son.

I layed there in silence content with just letting the time pass when Rosalie got home. She sighed and sat on the floor in front of me. 

“Thank you, Y/n.” Her voice was clear and perfect. “Get some rest.” 

I didn’t sleep. I don’t think I could have if I tried, but I let my eyes close and just breathed.

Carlisle came home a few hours later. He helped me sit up, while keeping the blanket around my shoulders. He checked my eyes with his flashlight, and once he was satisfied with my condition he helped me to my feet.

It was then and only then that I was allowed to do normal human things. I drank water, had a snack, and went to the bathroom. All completely mundane things and yet it didn’t feel real. I couldn’t believe it was real. I wondered what everyone else was doing- how they were coping.

Carlisle was watching me as I stared out the window above the sink. Even though he had told me a hundred times before, I had to ask, “It’s really over?”

He softened and stepped closer to me. “It is.”

“Hmm…” was all I managed. I ran the water over the plate I used in the sink. I just watched it run. It was normal, despite the fact that it didn’t feel normal at all. After a while he delicately reached around me and shut off the water. 

I watched the last few drops as they fell. He held my chin between his finger and thumb and turned my face towards him. I could tell he was checking my pupils. It made me laugh. He smiled too.

“Can we go to bed now?” I asked in between giggles.

He checked his watch, like he wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Then he nodded, “I think that’s a good idea.”

I laughed even more  when he lifted me into his arms and carried me to our room. We laid in our bed facing each other, absorbing the familiar feeling of home that surrounded us. I was again covered in the heavy blanket from before, though now it was mostly between us. 

“I think I'm okay.” I whispered.

“You don't have to be…” he whispered in response. “No one expects you to be okay right now.”

“I know.” And I did. I had been through a lot- we'd all been through so much, and at that very moment, we were okay.

I woke the next morning to the sun coming through the trees- really warm sun, filling the room with light and dancing off his skin. I stretched. He kissed my temple just below the bandage.

“How are you feeling this morning, Cara?” His voice was soft and I could tell he was assessing me again. 

“Alive.” I answered, honestly. I couldn't tell much, but I was alive. I smiled at him and kissed him. He melted into me. He kissed me back, but it wasn't as passionate as we normally were. I think he was still afraid I was breakable, worried he'd hurt me. I tried to prove him wrong by kissing him harder.

And I think it worked because when I parted my lips, he deepened the kiss. He still followed my lead, but he pushed his hand into my hair and pulled me closer to him. I could have stayed there all day- could have kissed him until the sun sunk back down below the trees, but my thoughts circled back to the day before.

“I have questions.” I reminded him.

He chuckled and gave me space to sit up. “Please ask away.”

I didn't think he could have been fully prepared, but I tried to start easy. “Is Aro in love with you?” His mouth fell open, I reworded my question so it wasn’t completely unhinged. “It’s just the way they all talk about him, and your time with him. It feels like there’s history there. And yesterday Jane was all ‘I thought Aro was exaggerating’ and I don’t even know what that could mean-”

“If I’m being honest, I don’t either. Aro has always been… infatuated with me. I wouldn’t call it love, but he- he’s always had an obsession with things he didn’t understand. Or, in my case, things he couldn’t control.

“When I found them, I was at a very low point in my new life, but I had one consistent habit he couldn’t train out. He tried several ways to get me to break, but I never did. He was obsessed, it went on for years, I left before it could really break him. To answer your question, history, yes. Love, no.”

I nodded, slowly taking in what he had said. “He wants Alice and Edward… Shouldn’t we be worried that he’ll want you too?”

“He wants Alice and Edward for their powers. I am not gifted in a way that would benefit him in the long run. If he had any remaining interest in me, It would just be to keep me as a pet.” The thoughts I had at his words were wild, I kept them to myself for his sake.

“Slight… topic shift. The girl yesterday, Bree…” I saw the discomfort on his face, I wouldn’t press the topic too much. I knew he had just wanted to save her. But my question wasn’t about his choices on the battlefield. “When Jane looked at her and she started screaming… What was happening?” I still wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but the words were out before I could think better of them.

“Jane is gifted. Though her talents are more harmful than those in our family. She can manipulate someone’s mind to inflict terrible pain.” Even he winced as he said it.

“And she was specifically told not to use that… power on me and Bella?” As grateful as I was for the order, I didn’t understand it.

“That surprised me too. Her gifts don’t work on Bella-”

“Like Edward can’t read her mind?” I asked.

He nodded. “Neither can Aro. She seems more or less immune to any of our gifts that affect her mind. Jane doesn’t actually harm you, it just makes you think you’re in pain.”

I had to weigh his words in my head. “And you think that her powers would work on me?”

“There’s no way to be certain, but I think Aro asked her not to try just in case, to keep a bit of peace between us.”

“I don’t think I get it though…” I laid back, dramatically. My questions just begged more questions. I was tired again already. “What’s the difference?”

“Bella has always been safe inside her own head, whereas you seem more physically safe from us. Jasper's powers work for Bella, but not for you. He physically manipulates the emotions of people around him, but he can’t with you. Alice see’s how people's decisions affect the path they’re on, but she can’t see your decisions, just how they influence other peoples.

“It’s just a theory, but it will be interesting to see how it develops. If you both become vampires, you both may have your own gifts to add to our family.”

That flowed perfectly into my next question. “Alice said the date was set?”

He ran a soothing hand down my arm. “Most of that was embellished, but Bella decided that it could wait a few more months. Through me, she has seen flashes of you as a vampire, but it’s never set in stone. I believe they’re working on forming a more solid plan for Bella since-”

Cutting him off, I heard Alice’s delighted scream all the way from our room. The sound made me sit up right. The world spun a little as alarms sounded off in my head. Carlisle sat forward slowly, wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my shoulder.

“It’s alright, Dove.” He chuckled, “Alice is just excited because Bella is letting her plan her wedding.”

“Wedding?” His words didn’t help my panic much. I checked the date on my phone, suddenly afraid that I’d slept much longer than I thought. “What did I miss?”

He laughed, “They kept a good secret. Edward asked a while ago, but Bella only agreed the night before the fight. Bella has apparently decided this morning to allow Alice full planning privileges.”

“Oh…”

“Everythings fine.” He assured me.

“Oh.” I said again, still processing.

“There’s coffee downstairs.” He grinned at me and pushed my hair behind my ear.

“Thank god.” I didn’t have the energy to ask more questions anyway.

We didn’t hurry downstairs. I didn’t hurry to make my coffee. I kept getting distracted by kissing him. He was more than happy to oblige.

We were still in the kitchen by the time Alice was leading Bella through the house and towards her room. She was already talking about fabrics and designers. Bella waved sheepishly at me as they drifted up the stairs. I laughed and turned to face Carlisle.

“She already has a dress?”

“She’s very excited.” He passed me my coffee and I took a long drink. It was warm and it helped in ways I didn’t know I needed. I took another sip. “I’m sure Alice will let you help plan. If you wanted.”

I held up my hands “I’m good! Alice has it handled, I’m sure.”

He laughed, “She does. Though you might be the only one who can rein her in if she goes too far. Bella’s tastes are a bit more subtle than Alice’s…”

That made me laugh. “Just a bit.” I agreed. “Our dad is going to freak.” I took another sip of my coffee.

“You could probably help there too.” He smirked and I rolled my eyes, though I knew he was probably right. “That is, if you support them.”

I was caught off guard and a little confused. “What do you mean?”

“You haven’t given your opinion on their marriage.” He clarified. “In fact, you’ve never really shared your opinion on marriage at all.”

I guess I hadn’t really considered it. “Oh… I’ve never really been around marriages to form an opinion.” I told him. “I’m not against it- like my dad might be. And I do think they’re quite young… but I guess… When you know, you know.” I smiled at him and his eyes lit up.

He was on me in half a second, holding me to him and pressed against the counter. My hands were in his hair. Where he was delicate this morning, he now burned with passion.

I completely melted. Only to be interrupted again by Alice.

“Y/n!” She was suddenly in the kitchen with us, but unphased by the state of us. “You have to go with me to Seattle! We have to get dresses made!”

Carlisle braced his forehead on my shoulder and I threw my head back laughing.

Taglist!

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[ninapi]

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*＊✿❀ Bewitched ❀✿＊*

Premise: Prince Keisuke was known to be a troublesome lad, often bringing problems to the queen herself. In an attempt to tame the wild prince, the queen calls for a powerful witch to aid him with his cause, hoping to put an end to this quest sooner. What she didn't count on was love being what he needed most.

Word Count: 3442

Note: Previous Chapter here

Chapter 2: Magical Kitty Rendezvous

How do you assimilate the fact that someone you considered your own brother wanted to kill you?

Kazutora had a very troubled mind and fear can operate in many ways. The fear of loss, the fear of rejection, can really mess someone up.

But even if he did indeed try to kill him, the memories of all the good times they had together wouldn’t go anywhere. 

Did he change?

Was it their fault?

It was certainly concerning to a new level.

But the worse outcome of this incident, at least for Baji Keisuke was the fact that he made his mother cry.

Nothing really happened to him, he was in perfect conditions, not even a scratch on his nose. Not the same can be said of those who crossed his path that morning though. But even then, his mother wailed for hours on the fact that she almost lost her son due to this stupid quest of his.

Friendships are important, of course. But not more than your own life. And his life wasn’t just a life, he was the future king, not someone that can be easily replaced.

The fact that he had to hear you apologize to the queen and even get a slap to your beautiful face from her was also a low blow for the prince.

You had done nothing wrong, you even saved his life and helped capture his friend alive. But you did leave his side and that could end up in a fatality according to his mother.

“I’m not a child that needs babysitting mother. I understand your concern, I know you can’t just find another king for this damn kingdom. But this girl saved my life, if you ever touch her again you can forget you ever had a son…” and with this, he left the throne room and hid in his chambers.

This didn’t go according to plan. It went awful even.

Hanma Shuji managed to escape and that dark wizard seemingly very powerful would not take long to find another army of zombies to attack them, even if all his loyal men are now in his dungeons being detoxed from all the harmful spells they went through.

He had to do something, needed more information about this dark magic wielder, Kazutora would for sure know more, but he refuses to talk and it’s all just so frustrating to the young prince.

They managed to knock down Valhalla at least, there was a good side to this battle of sorts, but the downs were greater in number.

Keisuke wasn’t one to dwell in the past and submit himself to depressive thoughts, but with a day like this, it was just impossible not to want to curl on your bed and try to forget about everything.

Not even Chifuyu was allowed in his chamber, yet he remained outside just in case he was needed at some point, like the good friend and dutiful knight he is.

The queen was forced to admit you did a good job at the end, you did save her son and didn’t even let him out of your bubble until he was safe inside his own castle. Not a scratch on his face, only a broken heart. And that, was not your fault.

So there wasn’t really a reason to get your head for. Though she was still very much surprised of the tone her son used to defend you, she’s never seen him like this, it wasn’t just plain anger or pride as it usually is, she could see hurt in his eyes, he was hurting at the thought of his own mother hurting you, he was even willing to leave her side if she was to even think of touching you ever again, and she didn’t know how to feel about that.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

You’ve been staying in the castle for a week now, unable to return to your cottage in the forest as any time now Kisaki could return and you were the only one able to stop said man.

The castle is a wonderful place, not just big and luxurious, but everyone working in it was lovely to be around. Your chambers were an absolute divinity, your bed as comfortable and big as it could ever be. Even a full wardrobe filled with appropriate gowns for a lady living in the castle to your absolute disposition. It was a beautiful place, but your favorite place was their gardens. They had a greenhouse full of herbs and rare plants and you’ve been visiting it ever since. 

Today, however, your loyal companion has gone missing, disrupting your routine. 

Every witch has a black cat, those are the rules. 

While they don’t really do much in terms of boosting magic or helping with a witch’s line of work, one can be very lonely when following this path, and as your only friend while growing up, yours was very special.

“Chifuyu, have you seen a black kitty around?” Chifuyu was polishing his sword by the pond, as Ryusei had the prince’s watch turn.

“A black kitty? Why would there be a cat in the castle, my lady?” 

“Oh well, he’s mine actually…I haven’t seen him since this morning and it’s starting to worry me…” pets were forbidden in the castle, but you must not be aware of that.

“I haven’t seen him, but I promise I’ll look around while I do my rounds and get him for you, my lady.” as charming as always, Chifuyu tended to leave a smile on your face, not even the disappearance of your mischievous feline friend being able to wipe it from your face.

In all truth, everyone in the castle loved to have you around, your were so kind, not to mention beautiful…the entire royal guard and even the army guys were all nice and sweet to you, even the scarier looking ones like Shiba Taiju. But Chifuyu was by far your favorite and it wasn’t entirely a secret.

“Thank you, you’re a life saver. Let me know if I can do anything for you!” at your comment, a hint of pink glazed his handsome features and he just nodded at your remark, you were so delightful in his eyes, but you were also the only woman who gets across his king.

“It’s my job, think nothing of it!” with a little wave, he left for his rounds and you continued on your own search of the little troublemaker.

While you were walking along the long halls of the castle, a hint of a fluffy black tail caught your eye, and it was going into that one place he shouldn’t of go to for anything in this world. 

The prince’s room.

With a soft knock to his door, the door opened up slightly, startling you. Peeking just a bit from the crack of the door, you caught sight of something beautiful and something you were clearly not expecting.

The prince was laying on his bed, your cat on top of his chest seemingly about to take a comfortable nap. 

“Merlin! What do you think you are doing? Come here right this instant!” you whisper-yelled at the cat who opened one an eye to glare at you, just to close it once more right after, ignoring your request.

“Come on in and close the door…jeez…people can’t even sleep in this place anymore…” 

Doing as instructed, you stepped into his chambers, trying not to wake up Ryusei who was very much asleep outside the prince’s doors. “Excuse me, my prince. It was not my intention to wake you up…”

“So who’s Merlin? Your boyfriend or something?” he scoffed, rolling on his side and taking the cat along for some cuddling.

“Um, no, your highness. The cat you’re holding. His name is Merlin, he’s my companion.”

“Don’t speak nonsense, his name is Peke J and he’s my friend.” that made you giggle, he really liked to hear your cute laughter, though this was the first time he caused it and not Chifuyu or Draken…it made him feel something, even if he didn’t fully understand what that something was.

“He’s your friend, my prince? You do have many of those already, why would you be in need of my furry companion?” 

He motioned for you to sit on the lounge chair next to his bed as he stared at the window, “He doesn’t ask questions, and is very warm…”

He was right, those were two of your favorite attributes of your dear friend. “He is also very fluffy.” This made him smile, you weren’t asking questions either, nor coaxing him to come out of his chambers like everybody else, you were different, and that was what he liked about you the most.

“He is indeed…” there was a comfortable silence in the room, none of you had the need to say anything else, yet the company of the other was very much welcomed.

The little devil however, had very different plans. He started by pawing at Keisuke’s face, he was clearly bored and trying to get someone to play with him, but cats are just that, and one can’t blame them for it. One of his claws ended up scratching the prince’s cheek, earning a horrified gasp out of you. “Merlin!”

“Peke J…” the prince corrected.

“Peke J, what did I say about scratching people!” The smile on the prince’s face was so bashful and blinding as you took his side without arguing. His canines were showing, his eyes fully closed as his face scrunched up with glee. Even if his face had just been hurt by the fierce creature, he was having the best time in a long a while.

“My prince…your face is bleeding…” without thinking much of your own actions, you sat on his bed, your hand closing in to his face.

“It’s just a scratch, I won’t die from this…” 

“You might not die from it, but that doesn’t make what he did right. Let me take care of it, please your highness..” Baji Keisuke was blushing, that had never happened before, not like this at least. Your face was so close, he could count your eyelashes if he wanted to, your hand emitted an enticing warmth and all he wanted was for you to close the distance already, so he just nodded.

“Thank you, my prince.” a soft light came out of the palm of your hand as you placed it over his cheek, the little scratch disappearing almost instantly. He felt no pain or discomfort whatsoever, on the contrary, he felt a warmth in his chest, and that was something new.

“So you really can do magic, huh? That bubble thing you put me in was quite impressive…” he didn’t want to think of that day anymore, but he also didn’t want you to end the conversation and leave, and that’s all he could come up with.

“I sure can, your highness. I apologize if it was a little uncomfortable, I tried my best to make it soft and weather proofed with the little time I had to act.” the smirk on his face meant troubles, but in all truth, you liked seeing it back on his face, he didn’t look as gloomy as before.

“So it wasn’t my imagination then, I could feel this little comforting breeze…I thought I was loosing my mind…” his chuckles were like music to your ears, Peke J seeming to like them as well as he was now jumping all over the place, playing with his new friend.

“It wasn’t, my prince. It’s all I could do to try to alleviate the painful moment you were going through, even if it was just a little.” and it did, he remembers feeling safe, like if he was inside his mother’s womb, warm yet comfortable, a place nobody could hurt him in.

“Sometimes I wish you could just put me in that bubble and just leave me there forever…But that wouldn’t be cool for a king, right…?” you could hear the sadness and uncertainty in his words, it was heartbreaking not being able to do much for someone who needs it.

“Well I don’t know about it being cool or not, but if you ever need my bubbles, all you need to do is ask.” your smile was so pure, so sincere, this feeling of safety and warmth was a constant thing when you were around, it was definitely strange, but he wanted more of it.

“Can you show me some more magic? I’ve always want to do some myself, but you have to be born with the powers to do so and I was born king, not wizard…”

“That’s not entirely true, my prince…I’ve been working in something that might be of your interest, it’s still in a trial period, but it worked with Merl- I mean Peke J…” 

“Oh yeah? What’s it about?” the excitement in his eyes was like one of a child in Christmas Day, he loved feeling this way, it was like he could really be himself when he was around you, he didn’t have to be the cool tough guy everyone admired, or the future king, he was just fifteen-year-old Baji Keisuke, nothing more.

This got you going, you could nerd around all you wanted about magic, nobody ever let you do that, so you were as excited as he was, “Well, its about channeling my magic to someone who doesn’t have any, and use their thoughts and feelings to create something new. It’s like being able to see how their magic would work if they had any!” 

Keisuke’s eyes were sparkling, that was such an awesome idea and to think it just came out of you probably a day you were just bored playing with your cat, you were indeed an interesting girl like no other he’s ever met. “That sounds super cool! What did Peke J’s looked like?”

“Since he’s a cat, I thought his magic display would be very small since the spell relies on feelings, but that day, it was raining you see, it was a full on storm…” Keisuke was fully immersed in your storytelling, biting onto his nails wanting to hear more of it, “and can you believe it stopped raining?” both of you burst out laughing together, “He really hates water...”

“He does…but not only that, the weather turned to this perfect spring afternoon, the sun warm and shining above, and for what…?” 

“He just wanted to nap, didn’t he?” you just nodded, giggling, causing him to continue laughing as well.

This was so much fun, he had never had so much fun by just talking to someone. “Would you like to try it, my prince? I’m not sure if it’ll work but I can assure you it’s not dangerous.”

He was intrigued, what would his even look like. “Ok but can you show me yours first? I’ve seen you do magic but sounds like this is a bit different?”

“Yes, it is. It’s like showing your true self. Let me show you. It consists of clearing your mind and just feel. My magic will manifest and make it visible.” he nodded with excitement, sitting now on his knees, a little restless waiting for your display.

He was drawn to how beautiful you looked with your eyes closed, he couldn’t really hear anything at all anymore, not even the servants running around outside in the corridors, it was just you and him now, and he loved every second of it. 

Then a pinkish mist started to mingle in the air and colorful glittery butterflies started appearing everywhere, one in particular landing on his nose.

“Wow, so this is what your magic truly looks like, huh? It’s very fitting…” your eyes opened to a wonderful sight, he was smiling so purely again, like a little boy enjoying your display to the max. 

“How so, my prince?”

“Well it feels warm and smells sweet. It’s also very beautiful…” his words made you blush, yet he didn’t even do it on purpose, he was speaking from the heart, completely immersed in the magical experience.

“Would you like to see yours now, your highness?” he just nodded, waddling over to you, “Do I just like close my eyes then?” 

“Yes, my prince. If you excuse me, I must be closer so my magic can flow through you.” he waited for you patiently, not refusing the implications of your words, yet not fully expecting what was about to happen.

You pressed your forehead on his, closing your eyes while holding both of his hands in yours. “You can close your eyes now, my prince.” He couldn’t stop looking at you though, you were so, so close that he could feel your breath on his cheeks, and it was doing things to his head. “O-oh, yeah, sorry.” clearing his throat, he closed his eyes, doing his best to clear his mind.

He could feel your magic flow through his veins, just like before, he felt warm inside, yet this time was a little different. Even if he wasn’t thinking about anything, just the feeling of your hands around his were making his heart hammer against his ribs, and it manifested once you both opened your eyes.

Contrary to what you thought it would happen, your magic was still lingering, it intertwined with his, which was exactly what he was feeling in that moment, unity, happiness, love…

Tiny forest animals made out of blue fog came to your feet, transforming his chambers into a magical fairy tale like landscape, it was truly beautiful what your magic combined could create.

“This is not just me…it’s…us…” he was smiling at the little fog animals, crouching down to pet them, this was fantastic, your magic was truly something amazing, a safe and happy environment, a place he could forget reality and it’s awful consequences in.

“I wonder what went wrong, it should be showing only your feelings…”

“Well…it’s probably my fault then, this really shows my feelings…you were in them after all…” his pouty embarrassed expression was the cutest and sweetest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life. He was truly precious, not at all close to that tough persona he likes to portrait.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying my little experiment, my prince. It’s truly refreshing seeing you like this.”

His smile was sincere, even when the fog animals were temporary and were dissipating quickly, he felt a satisfying sense of happiness within him. “You’re like medicine…”

“My prince?” his words were as enigmatic as always…causing you to tilt your head to the side slightly confused.

“I feel so much better when you’re around…wether is your bubbles or your animals, even your smile…just makes me forget all the crap that’s going on in my life…” was he confessing or something? It caught you off guard but it also filled your heart with warmth.

“It’s an honor, your majesty. I’ll be here whenever you need of my services.”

“I don’t need your services, you idiot…I need you…” he turned around so you couldn’t see his face contort in embarrassment nor the incredibly invasive blush covering his face.

“Then let me rephrase that…I’ll be here whenever you need me, my prince.” this made him smile, Peke J jumping on his head and curling on its top. “Can he stay with me for the night…?”

“Of course, my prince.”

“Also… can you…stop calling me that? I know I’m your prince, your king and all that, but above all I’m just Keisuke…you don’t need to call me by my titles when it’s just the two of us around…” even if he was talking to you, his eyes were on the cat as he looked himself in his mirror, unable to look at you in the eyes.

“Anything for you, my prin-…I mean…Keisuke….” 

There it was again…that smile…that beautiful smile that could take anyone’s breath away. And it was just for you.

“Good night, (Y/N).”

“Good night, Keisuke.” 

And so, the prince and the witch stopped being just that, something more beyond words growing within both as time went by.

But not everything was all love and sparkles…a few floors down in the dungeons, a dark aura could be felt infiltrating them from the sewers...

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・●

Masterlist Next Chapter

[lostsoulaltair]

Owari no Seraph Chapter 133 - Analysis & Review

Hello everyone, it's been a goddamn while; I've been busy with things, also learning constantly a new language; thus, given that I did like the latest chapter, I wanted to talk or discuss about it; as always, feel free to discuss, disagree, or share your thoughts; though of course, the only thing I request is respect.

Thus let's proceed

A destroyed world a talk about the "meaning of life" & "what it means to live". At the end, we're young.

The chapter might joke a lot between the girl's conversation which it might feel unnecesary or perhaps not worth it but given how the two characters were build; Shinoa is the type of character that does know when there's certain tension when someone is concerned about her.

But let's focus on something more important; the chapter begins with Mitsuba finally finding Shinoa who has been far away from her squad after Guren, Mahiru, Krul and company left to most likely the place where Yuu is.

Mitsuba after for so long finally made an appearance which is something I'm glad for; and as a good friend, she shows her concern given that she's never seen Shinoa act out of her usual demanor.

Something that I do find adorable is the very fact that Mitsuba is trying to be supportive given that there is a weight being carried on Shinoa's shoulders; while it's true Shinoa has never spoken about what she endured as a child; Mitsuba does want to understand her friend and no matter what might happen, they're there for her.

Thus leading to the next panel; Shinoa has always seen herself as a character with no value or rather, that thanks to her existance, the lives of innocents were screwed given that she was compatible with the monster that made sure the world ended in the way it is.

But once again, Mitsuba does convey the message of how Yoichi, Kimizuki and her feel towards her given that there's absolutely no one to reasure her that her life is as valuable as others.

And of course, we got the author with its weird interest on female bodies but; jokes aside from such panel; there's an aspect of truth to it. They are teenagers, they're no longer kids; they're characters that were forced to grow up at a very young age, forced to change to endure all the struggles of their surroundings to the point they had to mimic adults in a sense.

Many might find it pointless, boring, and perhaps even unrelated but the very fact that they touched the emotions of Shinoa does lead to a heavier topic.

Such topic is reflected in the next panel:

While it's true that Yuu has constantly talked about "a reason to live", "family", "friends", etc. Yuu does not know the weight of those words; he says he's going to save everyone, but in order to save somoene, there are consequences, losses and the sort in such path; nothing can be obtained for free in life and that's something that perhaps he might face eventually.

Returning with the squad, Mitsuba at first dismisses such question about the "meaning of life".

There is a huge relevance to the question; and this of course, reflects to the very first issue; that they've been working on how to save their lives that they haven't ever thought about themselves.

While it is very common to see that whenever someone says "that person thinks about themselves" it can come in a negative connotation; but that's not entirely the case; there's a difference between being selfish and understanding one's self.

When it comes to being selfish, it does relate about not caring a bit about what your actions may eventually do to others, how much harm you may cause due to them, willingly or not; it is literally dismissing a reason to as to why there may be something halting something one may want.

But, when it comes to understanding one's self; it is not only a superfitial level of understanding; it is knowing what one person may want, may long, may fight for, what may make them sad, what may anger them, etc.

In this case, Mitsuba realized that she has never given a deep thought to what she, as Mitsuba Sanguu truthfully wants. She grew up to be a soldier, to battle every time in order to protect those who couldn't protect themselves but with the development of the squad, it was not just a journey of sticking together, it was a journey of finding out that love can develop after getting to meet someone.

Eventually, Mitsuba does understand that it's not the typical joke mood or non serious conversation but rather a very important one.

In the next panel, Mitsuba's first longing or desire was to be acknowledged or to be validated. To be recognized; which of course, Shinoa mentions that she does understand that and it is true; Shinoa as a child did want validation from everyone or rather, instead of the term "validation", what it is more proper is "recognition or acknowledgement of existance".

True, in the current chapter Shinoa mentions she was luckier given that they never bothered with her; there's a difference between Mitsuba and Shinoa, which was showing what they could do in order to seek that. Mitsuba tried her best to show that she too held talent; alas with Shinoa, she simply ditched the idea, there was no reason to even fight about it.

But thanks to the very fact that she remembered what Mahiru did even if I too, agree that it was a really harsh method; she did know that at least someone cared about her existance.

Mitsu states that Shinoa was loved in contrast to her that no one loved her; which makes Shinoa to reasure her that she does love Mitsuba. And of course, while it's true that the original source uses the kanji Ai (愛) it does not carry a romantic context (Yes I've been studying if you wonder and there's still a longer way ahead).

Shinoa is reasuring Mitsuba that she too is loved; just like how Mitsuba expressed on her best way that Yoichi, Kimizuki and her cared about Shinoa's safety; Shinoa too knows that the squad itself cares about each other; after all, they're a small family that can only encourage each other to keep going.

But here comes something important that perhaps it might be to personal interpretation but Shinoa does state something important:

Because love exists for someone, it does not mean that's the sole reason to the meaning of life or for a reason to live.

What does that mean?

Us as humans, be in the different envioroments we end up growing, we end up finding purposes for our existance, sometimes it takes longer, other times we have certainty that we found out what we want to do with our lives; along such trail, we will find friends, perhaps a person we might fall in love; we might suffer about a heartbreak or two or so on; but despite that, it's a path we've chosen to walk because very independent of the bonds we forge along the way; there are things we want to do out there, we long for new experiences, new insights, new spots to visit, and of course, we can never suspend the time; we grow up, we mature, we gain interest in other things as we grow which is visible how from childhood, we change a lot when we become teenagers, so as adults too, we change.

In Shinoa's case, she is truthful that she does not find value to her life, given how many chains of events involving her lead to misfortune for others; but despite that, she is thankful that there are people out there that do love her despite the harm her existance may has brought up upon Earth.

Nevertheless, we get a follow up, once Shinoa expressed herself, Mitsuba asks her directly about Yuu's acknowledgement, recognition or validation. Which of course, she responds honestly to it.

It hurts; and it is natural that it hurts her; it's the first time she fell in love with someone but not in the same way Mahiru did, not in the same turn of events Mahiru went through; after all, it's something I'll discuss a bit further from here. Let's continue.

Shinoa eases the mood by asking Mitsuba about how she feels towards Yuu which of course she knows very well that she too has a crush on him. But despite that many might feel the conversation as pointless, there's something certain to the panel itself; it is letting the weight and torment of many mixed emotions go, finally opening up to someone who understands you, to have someone you can trust unconditionally.

The mood eventually soothes to the point the two of them are in peace; having talked about such things when they've never had the opportunity to act like teenage girls, it was a rather refreshing experience for them.

I can't say that's correct or not but even in movies that face the end of the world, characters tend to talk about things they long to do and the sort.

Once Mitsuba asks Shinoa about her first real reason to live; one could understand that it is left to free interpretation given that both girls are simply enjoying their youth; they still haven't found a very truthful reason as to why they're there but for now; they did understand something.

Life is not just about existance, it's more than just hoping validation or acknowledgment, it is akin to what exactly you want to experience, it is about what you want to do instead of what others want you to do.

This leads to the new path I've mentioned before and this shall be discussed in the next point

Moving onwards to a new goal

After a girl's talk; Mitsuba points out about Shinoa's talent that is way above Mahiru's; such talent has always been hinted since the LNs were created.

Shinoa mentions that given that at that time she lacked a motive along goals within her reach; and of course, even Shikama pointed it out that she lacked desires, there was not so much she could do despite being more powerful than Mahiru, nevertheless, Mitsuba is aware Shinoa has gained something she lacked from the very beginning. Confidence.

This leads for Shinoa to have a discussion with her squad, but of course, they were eavesdropping the girls; they gave them their privacy. While they too are clumsy, reckless, immature in general, they too understand that people need some time alone to recollect their thoughts; they understand that there are things that sometimes can only be discussed with a certain someone not because of a lack of interest but rather because there is something that can be conveyed way better.

But very independent of that, it just reflects that Yoichi and Kimizuki have been worried as well about the girls after Yuu's departure along Guren and Vampires.

The next scene is actually something I am rather thankful that I actually thought I'd never see in the story in general; and that is the very fact that they're taking independent action for once; they're no longer following Guren's orders, they're no longer following a vampire's guidance that ends up falling in Guren's hand or Shikama's; nor they are following Yuu's wishes but rather; they're trying to open up a new path but exclusively for what they do label as "family".

Within the squad members, Kimizuki, Yoichi and Mitsuba long to see their families back due to the unfair deaths they had; Shinoa despite not having someone to call family or rather simply accepting the course of nature; she does want to see her friends having their families back, she has seen them struggle, she has seen the desperation of Kimizuki, the longing of Yoichi to have a miracle granted. But instead of following someone else's agenda given that Guren and Mahiru do have knowledge that they simply won't share to the squad; it is the first step for them to walk and open a new path for them.

Shinoa is very aware that their knowledge is limited, along the fact that they're not on an equal ground in terms of power; but given that now she does have confidence and something else; as I mentioned briefly in the other point; Shinoa has a deep understanding that the actions her sister took, do not defind her present or future nor how she will eventually turn out; such outcomes are only decided by her alone and if she wants to create a path along her friends, she has to fight for it giving away for the first time, the real power she has within her.

The very fact that Kiseki-O and Gekkouin were manifested by force instead by their wielders says something about what Shikama sought with Shinoa, what could it be?

Correct. Shikama or Sika Madu, was once an angel that served God but due to his arrogance, he lost his path leading to his eternal punishment for it; but even still, even if the angels that fell with him deemed or viewed him as a God. There was something even the reincarnations of such Fallen Angels were never subjected to.

Absolute control.

And thanks to reading the RAW version of the catastrophe at 16 manga; the purpose of Mahiru and Shinoa at the beginning was to control the punishment the Seraph of the End experiment held. But in contrast to Mahiru; Shinoa was born capable to control demons, she was capable of seeing them from a very young age but given that she has motivation along an objective; that power finally has shined. Leading to a new battle:

Perhaps you, dear readers may wonder how Shinoa was able to connect with Shikama despite him sending her off or cutting their ties; and of course, she does mention there was a small connection; truth to be told; even if Shikama wanted, she was born with him; they were together ever since she came to existance, hence that even if he tried to severe his ties to her, there will be something chaining him down.

And of course, the battle between Shinoa and Shikama has begun

Shikama gave away his power for light BUT, given that Shinoa could devour such darkness; it can only lead this

All the power that came from God's light may be stored in Shinoa's body and as they say, even if darkness tries to consume light; light always finds a way to cast aside the shadows that darkness creates.

Quite long huh? What do you think?

Let me know!!

[aemondsbeloved]

I Would Die For You In Secret [Prologue]

pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!Targaryen!reader

summary: when you reunite with your family in the Red Keep the plans of peace seem improbable. after breaking fast with estranged relatives you go to Aemond’s rooms if only to give him a piece of your mind (5.5k) 

notes: I don’t write stuff like this anymore (incestuous relationships) but I forgot I had this prologue to the two parted fic with the same name written from awhile ago. Figured I might as well post it.

part 1 | part 2

“That is a mad idea.”

You stood in the hall of Dragonstone, standing between your brothers Jacaerys and Lucerys, the younger children of Rhaenyra not present.

When your mother had said that you would be leaving Dragonstone after the many years you had resided there to go back to the Red Keep you might have thought this a joke if not for the serious expression on her face and the barely hidden disdain on Daemon’s at the proposition.

When she followed this preposterous relocation of your family with the ridiculous idea that you would be going back so that you and your brothers could mend the tensions with Alicent Hightower’s children you had laughed if only out of disbelief.

Jace and Luke were still silent, so you had to voice the truth alone it seemed.

“You really want us to be friends with the likes of Aegon and Aemond?” Your voice came in a spat.

Your mother sighed. “Yes, it is essential to the survival of our family.”

“Does our grandsire demand it?”

You might have admitted another day that you were being haughty in a way that was reminiscent of the people you despised but today you would not admit such a thing.

The look of exasperation on her face was not missed by you. “No, he has not, but the Queen and I have spoken in length. As neither of us wishes for our children to be harmed when my father is no longer with us, reconciliation is the only foreseeable path.”

You being speechless at this was a first.

“If this is what we must do,” Jace spoke for the first time since Rhaenyra had told her children what must be done. The trepidation in his voice at the prospects were clear but the son of duty, he would do as his mother bid him and trust her judgment. “Then we will do everything we can to set things right.”

Your temper was at a high, perhaps due to how you had not too long ago been riding your dragon. Just as soon as your mother had smiled at her eldest child in gratitude you had turned to him, annoyed.

“Oh and will you reconcile with Aegon? You are going to rekindle your friendship with Alicent Hightower’s drunken son?”

The warning glance Jace shot you did nothing to curb your tongue. “And perhaps Lucerys can reconcile with Aemond. Yes, I am sure the Prince will be most forgiving.”

“Do not bring me into this,” Lucerys was saying on your other side, something between a plea and murmur.

You did not listen and Jace’s smart retort came, “We have not seen our uncles in a long time. Aegon might not be a drunkard and Aemond might not hold a grudge.”

“You are either infinitely wiser than I or you are just an idiot.”

“Stop it!”

Finally, you turned back to see your mother looking exasperated beyond relief. If you had liked Daemon and not merely tolerated him, you might have appreciated the amusement on his face.

“You will not provoke them, Y/N. I mean it. If I am to be Queen as is right then we must have all of their support. So, your brothers will make things better with the Princes as Queen Alicent and I intend. Meanwhile you will spend time with Princess Helaena.”

You softened, only a little bit. Helaena was kind and yes, you had been close to her as children. Your resolve hardened when your mother continued, however. “And you will not provoke Prince Aegon or Prince Aemond. None of you will.”

Jacaerys and Lucerys said yes, mother but you only stared. After a moment you relented. “As you wish, mother.”

Days later when you were back at the Red Keep you could only remember what it was like to grow up here.

Happy memories were scarcely remembered. Glimpses of lessons with the Septa with Helaena, the whispers that followed you and your brothers’ shadows, things you were too young to really understand.

Your mother did a good job of shielding you from the accusations that the court murmured and it was easier to not know such a thing as your contested parentage when your uncles didn’t hate your brothers.

But then they had after a night at Driftmark. By then your family had left already to Dragonstone and you would not see the other side of your family for too many years to count.

You would have happily ignored their existence for eternity, even sweet Helaena who might have been a sister to you if you had not left the Red Keep so young. But you could have forgotten them all.

Then for an unknown reason Alicent had done the unthinkable and sent a raven to your mother, or so you had heard. Something about peace and reconciliation for the family and the safety of the Realm.

It made no sense to you at all, but you would have to accept it. You had no choice as you were shown to the part of the castle where your family’s apartments would be.

As you slouched in the chaise chair in your rooms you heaved a sigh, no doubt looking the picture of whatever a princess should not be doing.

“This will not work how mother thinks it will.”

Jace was standing in your rooms while Lucerys was in his own rooms, no doubt getting settled. “I applaud your optimism, sister. Do you not think we can mend these fences?”

You ignored him. “I do not have fences to mend. Princess Helaena and I exchanged occasional letters. Besides, we did not leave on malicious terms.”

He leveled a look at you, knowing this was not the end of what you would say.

“Though, Lucerys did stab Aemond in the eye, so I suppose he will have to mend that fence, will he not? I would have thought the maester already mended Aemond’s miserable face.”

“Is Lucerys the only one who should try to become friends with Aemond?” He asked as he looked at you the same way mother did when you were on the path of going too far.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?” Now he was teasing you.

“You look like mother right now, which is the last thing I need.”

“You cannot be hostile with them, especially Aemond. He will enjoy it and Aegon will try to get a reaction out of you.”

“You know I will not. I promised mother, since when do I break promises?”

He nodded. “Then let us make another.”

As he moved forward closer to you, you quirked a brow and propped yourself up. “Name it.”

“We will do our duty and reconcile with our family, but we both know they cannot be trusted. Aemond is too bitter and Aegon may be irredeemable.”

You nodded at this, knowing he was right even if you could not know who your uncles were anymore.

“We will not form friendships with them. We will promise with one another that we will look out for ourselves and Lucerys only.”

Your chin tilted up looking at him. Grabbing his hand in front of you, you shook it with conviction more befitting a seasoned lord and not a princess. Without doubting that Jacaerys was right, and knowing without a doubt that there was no possibility of befriending someone like Aegon or Aemond, you swore to your brother.

“I promise.”

Promises were hard to keep you had come to realize. Like when you had sworn to your mother that you would not provoke the Princes nor let them provoke you.

Easier said than done as you sat at the long table with the whole of your family, half of them strangers.

Waiting for King Viserys was an eternity and the silence between the younger Targaryens and Velaryons was thick with tension.

It took everything in you not to swig your wine as Aegon was doing a few seat down the table. You turned to Baela who sat besides you with Jacaerys on her other side.

As you leaned slightly and raised your brows at Jacaerys you made it little secret what you were thinking of as you teased him, thinking of his words that Aegon might not be a drunkard.

“Enough,” Jace mumbled under his breath after catching his mother’s look across the table where she sat besides the empty spot as you all waited for the King.

“I did not say anything, brother,” you whsipered, faking innocence.

Baela might have stifled a chuckle of her own at your retort but Jacaerys was in no mood for a jape. The warning look from your mother did have you retreating, remembering you promise.

It was all you could do to sit back in your seat, back straight and trying to pretend this was a comfortable place for you to be.

You would behave for a time but only for your mother and your grandsire. As you glimpsed your uncles you swore it would never be for their sake.

Close as you were in their age you remembered as a young girl how seriously Aemond had taken himself. As close as you were to Helaena you had known as a child that Aemond loathed that he did not have a dragon, so once you had told him you would ask your mother for a dragon egg the next time Syrax laid a fresh clutch. Your act of kindness had made him pinch up his face as he uttered harsh words how he did not need an egg from someone like you.

You could barely remember the exchange after all these years but you had recalled how that was the first and only time you had attempted a friendship with Helaena’s younger brother, thinking him foulmouthed and cold.

To you at the age of eight, he was worse than Aegon who never uttered an intelligent thought in his life. It was only a few years later you were all at Driftmark for Lady Laena’s funeral and Aemond had claimed Vhagar and Lucerys had taken his eye.

Childhood memories before that night hardly mattered. A few letters with Helaena before they lapsed over time were the sole reminder of the connections you had in the Red Keep but even those too had faded. All of that just to return was the madness of this all.

In the corner of your eye you saw Helaena who sat nearly four seats down, besides Aegon and you could not help the frown as you saw her whispering something under her breath, seemingly to herself.

If Aegon was as foul as some servants whispered you wondered how the Queen and King would ever marry sweet Helaena to someone like her brother.

Looking at Otto Hightower you thought you might have known why. What is a Princess’s happiness compared to the consolidation of power?

Despite not being married off yet, you had heard Daemon and your mother whispered one night as you passed the corridors of Dragonstone. Something about Cregan Stark being near your age. You could fill in the rest with your imagination.

Just because you had not been married and shipped off yet did not mean it would not happen.

Looking at nothing as you thought of your fate now that you observed Helaena’s, you weren’t aware of how thin your lips were as you frowned.

Under the table, Lucerys’ hand squeezing yours broke you out of your stupor. Finding your brother’s worrisome gaze on you, you smiled as warmly as you could, letting him know you were fine.

Enough was riding on this reunion and you could only let him worry over what could possibly come, not on the battles you could only fight in your mind.

Your eyes flickered to the King as he entered the room and frowned at how sick and frail he had become.

“You know why we are all here together,” he said in an constrained voice, like it took everything in him to speak. “My lady wife and daughter know how important it is for us to put everything behind us. Find it in yourselves to put the past where it belongs. Do this for the realm, our great house, your king, your father, your husband, your brother, your grandsire.”

He had looked at his children, first your mother then his younger children, then to Alicent, to Daemon, and finally to you and your brothers.

To see a powerful man beg his family was a sombering affair and it had affected you most of all. When he sat down you could see your mother sit up and toast the Queen. The shock came when you could tell your mother meant her kind words, even more when the Queen seemed moved.

You might have been young but you could still recall the resentment between the Queen and your mother. How strange it was for them to make and effort and all the years of tension to slip away.

When Queen Alicent stood and toasted your mother you felt for once not so jaded at your part of the family you had not seen in the many years. And when Jace made his toast to Aemond and Aegon, trying his best to form a friendship you thought your brother might have been truly genuine even if your uncles were uninterested.

Aegon was only interested in being foulmouthed as he got up to get more wine before saying to Baela beside you, “If you ever wish to be satisfied, you need only ask.”

As you processed the words Jace’s fist had slammed the table as he stood up, not taking the slight easily. Aegon might have sat down again but Jace could not be provoked, not when Aemond stood up nearly challenging him to do something.

You might have thought about telling your uncles off but Jace had promised to your mother to heal the family not further tear it apart.

“We have not seen each other in a long time,” he began before casting a look to Lucerys at the end of your family’s side of the table. Smiling he continued, “but I have fond memories of our shared youth. I hope as men we may yet be friends and allies. To you and your family’s good health, dear uncles.”

The fist bump he gave Aegon’s should had the drunken prince mumbling half heartedly, “To you as well.”

To your pleasure, Aemond had to sit down again. You could practically see the disappointment that he had not been able to do something to Jace, though exactly what you did not know.

“To Baela and Rhaena,” Helaena was saying as she stood up and hearing her voice unwittingly made you smile. “They will be married soon. It is not so bad. He mostly ignores you. Unless sometimes when he’s drunk.”

The smile fell right off your lips at that. You wondered what the Queen had thought marrying Helaena to Aegon, who clearly had no good intentions in him after his comment to Baela.

A smiling was tugging your lips again, however, when Jace had asked Helaena to dance. You knew why, of course. It was a gesture of kindness and goodwill, nothing more, and even Aegon did not seem to care his sister-wife was dancing with Jace.

The tensions might not have been there, if only for a moment, as Jace and Helaena had returned to their seats. The food had arrived and smelled delightful. You might have even began eating until you heard a scrap of a chair and shadow looming over you.

“Princess,” Aegon was saying, as mocking as it was, and held out his hand. Jacaerys and Helaena might have already sat back down from dancing but it seemed Aegon was not happy to sit by now.

The offer to dance was not one you could refuse. It could be seen as a slight and looking across the table at your mother who was tightlipped as she nodded, you knew what you must do.

Ignoring how your brothers, mostly Jacaerys, looked at the scene unfolding as you stood up and placed your hand in Aegon’s as he led you to where his sister-wife and nephew had been dancing not moments before.

As the music started again you moved quickly with the pace. Putting your elbow in his you turned, expertly moving to the dance you had learned many years ago.

“I must confess my shock to hear that you are not yet betrothed as your brothers are, Princess.”

The mockery of your title from his lips would have affected you if you did not know exactly who Aegon was. “My brothers became betrothed today and I am not an old maiden yet, Uncle. There is time to find a worthy suitor.”

“And yet you have not found one,” he chided, obviously amused and perhaps finding you lacking.

“When my mother and Prince Daemon present a match to me I am sure it will be politically and personally well suited.”

You turned opposite directions as he took your other elbow in his, continuing the dance.

“What you mean to say is that you are the type of maiden who does as she bids.”

“Why of course I am uncle,” you smiled, feigning sweetness. “If I did not do as my mother bids, you would be on the floor covered in your own blood.”

The shock of it had his grip loosening and you smiled brightly at him, turning back to the table and taking your seat between your brothers. As Aegon retreated and went to his chair that he now slouched in you felt rather pleased, even as your mother looked at you with concern, unable to know what was said.

You missed it right before it happened. You had only sat down as a servant set down a roasted pig on the other end of the table in front of Prince Aemond. You couldn't give your younger brother a pointed look, remembering the prank your brothers and Aegon had done to Aemond as children, before Lucerys had laughed.

Then, your uncle was standing and you could see it in his eye as you looked at him that he was excited for whatever was to come. All the more reason to be on guard.

“A final tribute to my nephews— Jace, Luke and Joffrey,” Aemond said, smiling coldly. “Each of them handsome—”

You frowned, looking at Jace near you. Could he sense what you could, or was the malice imagined?

“Wise—”

You looked across the table to your mother. You silented pleaded for her to look your way as her eyes were on Aemond as was everyone else.

The pause was deadly silent and the smile on Aemond’s face was not kind. Anyone could see he would not be about to pay your brothers a compliment.

If your mother would not look at you right now you would have to glance at Daemon who now caught your gaze.

Just as Daemon nodded in your direction you heard Aemond finish, “Strong.”

Jace was up as quick as lightning. “I dare you to say that again.”

Your chair made an ugly noise as the wooden legs scraped the stone floor, nearly tipping over. Just as fast you stepped to Jace, moving in front of him as Aemond moved to the side of the table.

Jace was made of honor and would not stand for the slight on him and your brothers, even you by association. Thank the Gods his sister was more clever than he for you saw Aemond exactly for who he was.

Lethally, you held his wrist in a grip so tight it would hurt him. Pulling down on his wrist, ignoring the grunt of pain, you whispered sharply in his ear, “He is provoking you. Sit.”

Jace did not sit, still simmering in anger as he remembered Vaemond’s words earlier calling your mother a whore and her children bastards, but he still stood behind you, not saying a word and not approaching Aemond who now had a smirk on his lips.

It seemed this was not going how he thought but he enjoyed it nonetheless. He might have been an agent of chaos but you were hard as the stone on your ancestral home, firm in the ground from years of practice knowing when to stay still. He was the violent waves wanting to knock you over but you were the stone that had been smoothed over from years of the waves torment. The likes of your uncle could not move you. You would not give him what he wanted.

This time you smiled at him and you were cold and mocking before you even spoke. Letting Jace’s wrist go you could feel his heavy breathing behind you but folding your arms behind your back, letting everyone see you did not need your brother to be held back and that he would not attack Aemond as your uncle so clearly desired. Not to mention you were not scared of him or anyone here.

If they wanted to strike you down or worse yet make you strike them down when your mother pleaded for peace, then they were fools.

“You honor my brothers and I, Uncle.”

He did not say anything and you saw Aemond flicker his gaze over your shoulder at Jace. You could imagine your brother’s surprise and only hoped he had the ability to hide it.

“It pleases me to hear you compliment my brothers, Prince Aemond,” you smiled and it might have even looked as genuine as you pretended to be. “Especially after our family’s complicated past. I have no doubt we may yet all be friends with one another some day.”

Raising your cup to him you smiled. “I raise my cup to you, my prince. I can only pray that we may always see eye to eye.”

You could hear Jace sit down at last and Lucerys choked on his drink as you drowned your glass of wine like you were your drunken uncle.

“Y/N,” your mother admonished, knowing just as well as Aemond what you had said.

Your uncle only stared you down with menace. Maybe he was deciding if striking you like he so desperately wanted to do to your brothers was a worthy cause.

Alicent was eyeing your mother, undoubtedly wondering what she would say.

“Apologize to your uncle,” Rhaenyra said tightly. “That was unseemly.”

Turning your head to look at her, you frowned. Did she need peace so badly she expected you to allow Aemond to call your brothers bastards?

“I was only thanking him, mother,” you said, voice dripping of honey. As Daemon chuckled, enjoying the tension that was rising, you continued, “I meant no offense.”

When you looked back at him, your lips upturned in a smile so sweet it was destined to be insincere, Aemond only hummed in reply. The clench of his jaw and the cold look in your eyes made you think he might have thrown a punch to you, even if he had hoped it would be Jace he’d be able to injure.

You gripped your fist as you tried to remember the self defense move Laenor had taught you once. Aemond had grown tall and had the build of a seasoned warrior but a part of you thought you could hit him hard enough. Another part of you, the rational part of you, told you that was a foolish thought.

His eyes that had been staring at you with animosity like you were a challenge he didn’t want now moved to your fist. When you had unclenched your fist it was too late. He had seen you and a smirk had already been forming when you relaxed your hand.

The amusement on his face made you nauseous. Or maybe that was the wine you had downed too quickly.

With a wayward glance at his mother who was frowning at the interaction that had happened in front of everyone’s eyes, he left the room but not before looking at you again almost like he had won.

Your intentions were good but as you did whenever you had made a misstep you wanted to run and hide. That was not an option.

Helaena had left the room quickly and when Aegon had followed, a snicker falling from his lips, your mother had moved to you from her side of the table.

One look at your brothers and they were leaving, your mother’s orders clear. The reassuring hand Jace had put on your shoulder did not soothe you nor did the apologetic look Lucerys gave you hold any comfort.

“I told you to not provoke them. I said they might provoke you.”

“I know,” you replied in a quiet voice, all too aware of the other elders who were in the room.

Did the likes of the Hightowers really get to hear your mother tell you how you had done wrong?

“And yet you did the opposite of what you promised.”

“I did not intend it.”

“Your intentions are not what matters, Y/N. Your actions do, however, have consequences.”

You scoffed involuntarily. “Is something amusing?“ She asked you sharply.

“You think if we become friends with them we will heal the family and save the realm. This will not happen.”

“Why not?” She asked and for a moment you forgot that Alicent Hightower, the Hand and Daemon were in the room.

“He is comfortable in his hatred. As is Aegon,” you saw her eyebrows raise at your words. “Lucerys might cut out his eye and he will not be satisfied. Aemond will not be content with less than everything, even if we all burn because of it.”

She let out a shaky breath. “These are harsh words.”

“They are honest ones. I see the truth as it is, mother.”

“You see what you think is the truth. I do not want you to paint a gruesome picture of my half-brother when we do not know what history may hold for my reign.”

You laughed a breath. “My uncle knows nothing but hate. I’ve read the histories of our family, mother. I know what Targaryens can do to one another.”

You had known the truth, plain and simple. “We are dragons, there is no middle ground. We stand by each other or we destroy one another. I do not see a world where Aemond Targaryen stands with us.”

“You promised me that you would not provoke them. You swore you would help us mend our family,” she reminded you in a harsh whisper. “And now I hear my only daughter is certain her mother’s efforts will be in vain. Do you think so little of me?”

You shook your head, denying her words.

“Then fix this,” she urged lowly. “You will go to Prince Aemond and apologize come the morning. You will do so sincerely and you will not say such a thing to him again.”

Your jaw tightened at her words. A protest settled deep within your throat, the clench of your jaw all that was preventing it from being harshing said to your mother. “As you wish, mother,” you relented but the resentment in your words could not be hidden. Of course you would have to apologize for this to him of all the cravens in the Realm.

Ignoring the stares from your mother, the Queen and the Hand of the King you left the small hall. Torches of fire light dotted the corridors and on your journey to Aemond’s quarters you had only grown more furious. You prayed he was not in his rooms somehow when you rapped a fist against his door.

There was no answer after a minute and you felt satisfied. Until the door was pulled open with immense force and you were face to face with Aemond. His leather doublet had been unbuttoned and his eyepatch was off. He had clearly been in the middle of undressing for the night, keen on solitude, but by the widening of his eye following by a deep frown, it was also clear he had not been expecting a visitor.

If the gossip that filled your ears from visitors to Dragonstone over the years were right, Aemond always wore an eyepatch to not scare the ladies of the court. It made him sound like a gentleman something you very much doubted.

“Should you not be in your chambers?” he asked bruskly, his eye scrutinizing you.

“I was sent to apologize,” you replied begrudgingly, gritting your teeth as you said it. “I was unseemly.”

He must have thought your words as insincere as you knew them to be by the way he smirked, leaning himself against the threshold. “You are a terrible liar.”

“You called my brothers bastards,” you reminded him sharply, your anger growing like dragon fire. “On today of all days, when our mothers wanted peace. After Vaemond Velaryon called my mother a whore and my siblings bastards.”

He only hummed, looking disinterested. “You are more tiresome than I recall,” you spat and there was nothing to quell your fury. “And you’ve become as loathesome as Aegon. In every way to match him I’m sure.” your words of Aegon held unmistakeable meaning.

“Did he trouble you?” he asked, still disinterested but the heavy look in his eye held a deeper meaning.

“No more than he troubles the serving girls with great frequency, I hear,” you scoffed, giving Aemond a nasty look. He bristled at your tone. “I am sure his vile nature rivals your own.”

“You are one to talk,” he said curtly, lips moving into an unpleasant expression. “I remember you on Driftmark lying for your brothers—”

“And I recall you holding to rock over Jace’s body saying you would feed us to your dragon so we might burn alive like Ser Harwin,” you bit the words out, taking a step near him in challenge. “But of course, you are the innocent one, are you not? The unnatural children of your half-sister are to blame for everything in this family?”

He said nothing as he stared at you witha menacing look with a tinge of surprise. “And here I am ordered to visit you offering an apology because peace is more important than dignitity.”

“Careful,” he chided. “Someone might think you are criticizing the heir to the Iron Throne.”

“Peace will never occur in our family, everyone is a fool to believe our house could be one.”

He raised a brow, your words unexpected. “You expect war, Princess?”

Even now when you spoke of the reality that could fall on your family he made a joke of it, wanting to rile you at every turn. “I see our family for what it is. And I have disdain for having to fix the bonds broken before I was born into this world.”

Maybe you were blaming your mother, maybe you thought it was wrong you had to fix what had occurred between her and the Queen. You felt entitled to your bitterness but in your rage you could not recognize this might be a common ground between you both.

He hummed. You thought he might have even looked at you in understanding. “You are very poor at apologizing.”

“And you are a craven who wants to ruin any chance at peace.” Your words were harsh because a world in which you and Aemond could be friends was impossible after Driftmark, and you had promised to stand by your brothers before this visit.

“Craven?” he repeated like he had not heard the words. “Watch yourself, niece. I ride the Queen of Dragons and the only craven here is—”

“The one who picks fights with his kin at a dinner for peace, yes we have established that,” you pursed your lips, the anger that had faded rising in waves. “At every turn you ruin everything in our family. You and your brother. Helaena and Jace were dancing and Aegon decided to ruin that and you not long after.”

“That bastard brother of yours had no right to dance with my sister, she is married to Aegon,” he hissed and stray silver hairs fell in front of his eyes.

You laughed, the sound spiteful. “And what a match that was! Aegon had offered to lay with Baela and me not long after, but not before he insinuated no man in Westeros would want to wed me. I pity Helaena she is too gentle to have such cruel brothers and to be married to one fo them, I could think of no worse fate.”

He was stunned to silence for a moment, but why you did not know and did not care to ask. “You are cruel, Aemond, and I think you revel in sharing your misery to the whole of our family. But because my mother ordered me to, I do apologize for my unseemly comment. I shall practice treating you as a ghost not worthy of acknowledging at any fast we must break together in the future.”

You could not bear to look at him and turned on your heel, striding down the corridor to where your apartments were during your time in the Keep. The entire journey to your rooms your anger had not faded.

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

What’s your take on all these alpha male/female dating strategy types who seem to deeply dislike the other sex (eg always talking about hypergamy) yet still want to be with them?

Also, do you have an explanation for why there seem to be fewer female incels than male ones? I met a woman who’s part of a community of women who have never been ‘chosen’ for romantic relationships and I looked at it and they weren’t advocating for harm against men (as far as I saw) but they did express the view that the common assumption that women are more selective than men isn’t true - they claimed that the men who complain about never being chosen by women themselves would not go out with the women of that online community (‘undesirable’ women as they called themselves) whereas they, the women, were willing to be with these men. As a man, do you think this impression is accurate?

I find the PUA conclusions about female attraction interesting because through trial and error they seem to have hit upon some scraps of truth that tell us a lot about wider reality, but unfortunately their path to those small fragments of truth seems to unavoidably leave them entirely soulless and incapable of love. That terribly desolate worldview strips us all down to only the most basic biological urges, and so sex becomes just a commodity that women possess and men want to get access to, by all means necessary.

When it comes to women, it gets a little greyer, because, biologically, I'm not convinced the majority of women are actually capable of true, self-sacrificing love for a man, except in the short term, either until they get a child from him or they feel they could do better elsewhere. There are exceptions, of course, and we have examples of women who worshiped the man they were with until death, but they are few and far between. I think I've only actually seen one long-term relationship/marriage in my life where I could say that was the case.

The women who would consider themselves involuntarily celibate are either going to be physically unattractive to most men (i.e. morbidly obese or facially disfigured in some way), or have unrealistic expectations that most men won't be able to meet, or simply have limiting beliefs about men or themselves that get in the way and dissuade them before they start. But women are more selective than men, and always have been, so the good news for women is that there really is some man out there who will consider you the most attractive creature on two legs, if you can only get yourself into the right pool to find him.

I remember years ago a new woman came to work at the place I worked, and though people were friendly to her, we all recognized she was comically - almost cartoonishly - prim and tight-assed, wearing a corset to hide her plumpness, scarves and pearls permanently around her neck to distract from her hard chin, and the most unflatteringly tweedy schoolmarmish clothes imaginable. Her facial expressions were always rigid, twitchy and fearful, and you never felt you got to know the real her.

Eventually she left for a different job but a few months later we heard had started dating a sales rep that occasionally did work for our company, and one day she accompanied him when he visited just to pop in and say hello, and she looked amazing: completely transformed. She'd grown her hair out, lost just a little weight; she was wearing a leather jacket and jeans, and a wide-necked white t-shirt showing off her throat. She was positively glowing with health and love, and her every movement showed she liked herself, her body and her life, and all this was due to finding the right man to love her and allow her to soften and bloom. I'll always remember how astonishing a change that was, and I very much hope every woman finds a man who can do that for her.

[thefanboyhub]

Bronte headcanons?!??!

(Sorry if I've already asked you that)

Do you want to give Bronte a kiss on the forehead and cuddles???

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I LOVE HIM MORE THI OBVI ALSO YESSSSSSS I DO AND YES I WILL GIVE YOU MY HEADCANNONS

He started the whole vampire shit with humans. He was so emo and brooding and all that silly stuff when humans were around and it made the myth/legend of vampires.

He actually loves his curly hair but refuses to be taken as a joke so he keeps his hair buzzed. (Too many people said he looked soft with his curly hair long)

If he were to step down from the council it would be to adopt a child. DONT ASK ME WHY I JUST HAVE A FEELING HE WOULD OK.

Use to be reckless and wild until he accident hurt people he cares about which set him down the path to becoming what he is today.

Is more up to date with the times than any other ancient elf. He is actually surprisingly patient and loves to learn the new stuff no matter how hard he tries to bullshit it and say he doesn't care and all that emo bs.

If he cares about you he's very attentive and does a lot of silent acts of service; like making food and having it sent to you and all that jazz. But it's hard for anyone to get in his heart, mostly because he takes his job seriously.

Definitely not straight. His sassy ass is most definitely bisexual but also not really into anyone. He just thinks everyone is hot and doesn't think much farther than that.

The OG emo/goth but when he was younger he was the OG punk/scene kid. Don't ask, I just know it ok.

When not sober he's literally the softest and silliest guy ever: one time he flirted with Emery while drunk (he made an excuse the next day saying he thought Emery was a women while drunk. It was a lie. He knew.)

Switches from the parent of the council to the bratty child who doesn't like complying with the group.

Very close with Oralie, even before Sophie. He was one of the few people to support her and actively gossips with her. They are besties your honor.

He used to be much sillier and laid back when he first joined the council but after the thousands of years and all that he's seen he learned to become cold and do what has to do.

Out of all the council he would be the least likely to have his mind shatter from guilt: especially if the guilt would be murder of any kind. He's seen a lot and he's desensitized to it in a sense. He wouldn't feel an ounce of guilt if it was to protect the helpless.

He is very against hurting helpless people in any kind. He was only aggressive with Sophie because he knew she wasn't helpless and that she was probably dangerous; He never wished her to be harmed in the way she was. Even when inflicting he went easy on her.

I also think he only basically bullied Sophie to push her to be better to prove him wrong. He did not want her to be evil, so he was the bad that pushed her to do good ifykwim.

Likes to nap any chance he gets. He just likes how comfy his bed is tbh.

Not fond of land animals unless they're fluffy as all hell and adores sea creatures.

Use to hate change when he was younger and now he's so used to change that he handles it the best out of anyone on the council.

Mourns his old friends as if they were dead because he cannot connect with anyone due to his job. Secretly thinks of Oralie and Emery as his friends but never tell him. (They know and they also don't say anything.)

Emery and Him have kissed. I just know it.

Disassociates a lot. Dawg is traumatized, like he's been alive for how long? Ain't no way he ain't traumatized.

Anyways

That's all <3

(I could make this man smile I swear I could. Like I could make him happy. Once chance Bronte PLEASE. AGE IS JUST A NUMBER 😭/J)