#her mom is half mexican half native american and her dad is white. she looks like her dad

[apple-coring]

peggy is mexican american btw

[weirdocvnt08]

ROTTMNT x SR:US Crossover Human AU: Basics Intro

Bruh I keep making drabbles and oneshots within my own rottmnt x samurai rabbit human AU but never post any actual info or “lore” but it’s cus idk how to start?? Soooo I guess this’ll be like the concept plan? Idk I’ll just try to make this look organized so I can introduce the world I’m always writing about ε-(´∀｀; )

AU Name: Crazy Little Thing Called Life

AU Summary: Take Rise TMNT and Samurai Rabbit into a crossover world where they’re just normal human people with no magic or mystics, just living and experiencing this crazy little thing called life (hehe) and just go through normal human things.

Characters (Older Adults): Splinter (Hamato Yoshi), Big Mama (Adeline Desir), Baron Draxum (Berry Powell), Usagi’s Auntie (Shimada Noriko), Hueso (Jacinto Gerrero-Vazquez), Foot Lieutenant (Fukunaga Kenji) Foot Recruit Brute (Tsuchida Kazou)

*sidenote that bc I’m making all the non-humans, well…human (:p) I’m giving them full names bc I’m extra like that so what’s in parentheses is what their names will be in my fanfics*

Characters (teens/young adults): April O’ Niel, Cassandra “Casey” Jones, Sunita (Sunita Modi), Gen (Murakami Gennosuke), Chizu (Ogawa Chizu) Kitsune (Shimada Kitsune), Yuichi Usagi, Frida/Venus (Frida Hamato), Raph, (Raphael Hamato), Leo (Leonardo Hamato), Donnie (Donatello Hamato), Mikey (Michelangelo Hamato), Mona Lisa (Mona Keke)

Race/Ethnicity

Bruh so this is kinda embarrassing but my brain got scrambled really bad every time I tried to organize it so I’ll just tell you guys in paragraph form (´ω`)

Starting off on the ROTTMNT side, the Hamato kids are blasian but only Raph, Mikey and Frida are half Haitian since I’m making Big Mama Haitian but Donnie and Leo aren’t since their bio mom was born in the U.S. Splinter is still Japanese lol and Draxum is Native American, specifically Cherokee. Hueso is Mexican and born in Yucatán (I will not elaborate any further or else I’ll never post this thing bc I’ll over complicate my answer), Casey is wasian with her mom being Japanese and her dad being a white American and Foot Lieutenant and Brute are her gay uncles and they’re Japanese too but Brute’s been in the US way longer than Lieutenant, April stays the same as a Black American and Sunita is blasian as her dad’s also a black American but her mom is Indian. Mona will also be in and I’m writing her as Polynesian Hawaiian.

Now with the Samurai rabbit side. This is pretty easy since they’re all Japanese BUT Chizu is half Filipino, Gen has Polynesian roots from his dad’s side and Kitsune is Ainu which is a small indigenous group in the north side of Japan. Usagi, his aunt, Hana and Kiyoko are mainlanders so they’re pretty “average” I suppose you can say even though it feels icky saying that given Japan got their issues when it comes to people they don’t deem as Japanese

Relationships

*adding deets on Splinter and his relationships bc it’s relevant for my new fanfic so I’m his is the one I’m only gonna reveal for now. But also I have another fanfic that’s set within this AU brewing in my head actually so what I wrote for Lieutenant and Brute is for future use*

Yoshi/Big Mama (past)

Legally married for nearly a decade but close to the end of their marriage they (more so Big Mama) opened their relationship so they could see/be with other people if they wanted to (Yoshi only saw 1 person and it led to Leo and Donnie to be conceived lmao)

Biological parents of Frida, Raph, and Mikey

Met the same way as they did in canon

Few years down the road Big Mama would later became Splinter’s boss for a bit since she got a huge promotion to be his manager (she’s just that girl ✨💵✨)

Were on bad terms for a while but for the sake of the kids learned to be civil with each other so they could healthily co-parent

Yoshi/Draxum (Current)

Started off as just a professional relationship as Yoshi hired Berry to be his personal chef since he was pretty much on his own taking care of the tots and cooking wasn’t really his specialty (spoiler, Berry wasn’t good at it either) and one thing lead to another and somehow Berry just stuck to the Hamatos since the tots saw him as their 2nd dad

They don’t want to label what they got going on but they do be cuddling each other most sometimes in bed

Homosexuals indeed

Yoshi/Dona (Past)

Had a rough introduction at the library after accidentally bumping into her and making her spill her coffee onto her shirt. She didn’t like that at all that it took nearly 2 months for her to forgive him

Started as just library buddies until she invited him out clubbing and then after series of events ended up in a friends with benefits type relationship

They were 30 and 29 when they had Leo and Donnie; Dona would’ve also been 30 if she hadn’t died a month before her birthday :( (yes I’m evil)

A lot of their hangouts consisted of them staying inside Dona’s studio, drink wine or smoke herb and vent about their childhood trauma with Depeche Mode or The Cranberries playing in the background

Yoshi didnt know Dona was pregnant until five months into her pregnancy when she finally confessed to him because she initially didn’t want to keep them but had no choice because she didn’t know she was even pregnant until she suddenly felt really sick and after a trip to the doctors found out she already close to her 2nd trimester already so she couldn’t get an abortion even if she wanted to.

There’s a lot more drama with them but I’ll just reveal that stuff in my future fics

In conclusion. Yoshi just has a thing for pretty and intelligent people who are mean to him and I think he’s so real for that 👍

Foot lieutenant/Foot brute

Met at a underground rock show in New York, (brute made the first move lol)

Moved into a studio together 3 years down the road and dated a year later

Initially took Casey in for a bit when she was 6 due to her and her parents rocky relationship but would officially gain guardianship over her 2 years later she threatened to run away if she went back with her parents

Younger couples included in this AU so far

April/Casey/Sunita

Raph/Mona

Donnie/Kendra

Donnie/Jonathan

Leo/Usagi

Kitsune/Chizu

And that’s pretty much it for now, geez I can’t believe I had this drafted for a whole 4 months :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

[originalitysquared]

Alriiggghhttt,

So.

Nashville was Racist in a way that only white people can manage.

I'm from the Texas border to Mexico, which is much more Mexican than America, but is DEFINITELY not actual Mexico. a buffer zone if you will. My race is some stupid shit that no one thinks about when they put so much emphasis on race and color in general. My dad is half white/half Mexican while my mom is just Mexican. Leaving me, somewhere weirdly in the middle but I usually say I'm Mexican (American) and still get weird looks because I'm "too light" for lack of a better term.

My Grandpa on my mom's side is very light skinned and had blue eyes, like there's a whole caste system that existed in Mexico during and after colonization. Men from Europe were given the best treatment and jobs, this lead to a lot of raping of native women and the birth of the modern Mexican "ethnicity" as we know it. (funny how it isn't a race any more). I happen to look like the white part of that history lesson. I've lived in Texas my whole life, lol and most areas kinda expect Mexicans or have Black people or Asians and so they aren't surprised seeing someone who doesn't exactly match up to one race. I never had trouble when I lived near Dallas or on the border or in Central Texas or the Hill country, I've never had trouble in Houston.

Nashville gave me the fucking heeeebbie Jeeeeeeebies, bruh.

First, my sister and I do not have the same dad. Her dad is white. So she is much lighter than me and has colored eyes and is blonde. We do not look alike but are built similarly and act like sisters but for whatever reason, the public is confused when women are comfortable around me?? the lesbian allegations do not cease.

Nashville was soooooo bad, everyone looked at me so ugly bruhhhh. People were staring and following us like I have never experienced in my liiiiifeee. I was so spooked I was telling my sister I fucking DROVE through the BIBLE BELT and had less issues.

And my sister said, "yeah but you were with a man."

[this-is-all-sorry]

2pm Poem

Circle White

I came across the question

Circle if you identify as white or African American or American Indian

or Latino or Hispanic

We all have, this time I stopped to think about it

I grew up white

My skin is white I look and speak white

But my grandma, my nana, looks Hispanic

Looks Mexican but she also talks white

I remember asking her what it was like for her

Growing up

She told me stories about her family how her

Dad would work so much how he had a firm hand

Her mom would stay at home and cook

How one time she opened the oven and

Saw a lamb’s head cooking

(terribly scary I was told)

My favorite stories are

When she talks about seeing her parents dance

around the kitchen before dinner

Where she learned to make tamales

Standing around the tina

Watching it slowly empty

Laughing and joking with

Family

But when I look at movies today

I see the celebrations

The quinceaneras

The dia des los muertos

The legends, the family

That they have and I wonder why my nana

Didn’t tell stories like that

Why she doesn't have them

My great-grandma, my grand-nanny, was half Hispanic

(Mexican) half Native American

(Apache Indian)

My great-grandpa (dead before I met him)

Was Mexican

They did all they could

To raise their children Caucasian

(white)

My grand nanny

Didn’t celebrate the day of the dead

She didn’t have an ofrenda

She didn’t throw her daughters

A quinceanera

She wasn’t Mexican enough

She didn’t want her children treated

Like Mexicans

My nana married white

White as can be

Red hair and freckles white

Her kids were whiter in turn

They had a large family

Six kids

They lived in a small town

Never treated like they were less

My mom married white

Utah white

So I came out white

So strikingly white

I grew up white

But no matter how white I am

Some heritage peaked out

Some things refused to be smudged away

Tamales made as a family

Made in mid-December

The hands that touched the masa

Not allowed to leave without risk

Of ruining the whole pot

Making dozens upon dozens

Of pork, chicken, cheese, sometimes sweet tamales

To freeze and have on Christmas or Easter

My heritage Is enough

I’m not saying it isn’t

I just look at what I could

Have had. At what I am missing

Because my great-grandparents were

Boiled down to a color

A color they didn’t want to force

On their kids

So I look at the question

Circle if you identify as white or African American or American Indian

Or Latino or Hispanic

And I want to circle Latino, circle Hispanic

But my skin, name, speech is white

I am treated white

So even though I wish it was different

I circle white

[flowapuddle]

Just a bit of info on you and Aaliyah and the family

Okay just little info page for anybody who is reading this and wondering what the fu** is happening 🧍🏾‍♀️

-

BASIC INFO:

:Full Name: (Y/n) (M/n) Immah

:Meaning of name: Immah meaning a Girl Who always Loves To Make People Smile. She is a person who tries to help people out & she hates seeing people suffer for nothing. She always Smile Even when she get in trouble . she is loyal , sometimes she can be immature , nice , amazing & all those good stuff. She has a high Future ahead of her . - Urban Dictionary

:Nickname(s): sweetie/honey

:Gender: female

:Age: 16

:Date of Birth: August 25

:Place of Birth: In (C/n)

:Native language: English (sorry if it isn't)

:Languages spoken: Japanese & English

:Ethnicity: Whatever ethnicity you are

:Occupation: Athlete

:Education: Highschool 1st year

MEDICAL INFO:

:Allergies: dust

APPEARANCE:

:Height: 167.64 (5ft, 6)

:Hair color: black-brownish with a white streak

:Hairstyle: usually down or half up and half down

:Eye color: (e/c)

:Piercings: ears

:Tattoos: none

:Scars: only on her arm but it's a tiny cat scratch

Beauty Mark: (Y/n) has a beauty Mark under her left eye like her mom

:Clothing/Style:

(If you don't wear anything like this then f**k 🧍🏾‍♀️ I am sorry for the sake of this book you wear this )

:Jewelry/Accesoaries:

Chocker/Necklace/Earrings

(Remember guys the same of the book 🧍🏾‍♀️)

:Scent: vanilla/cherry

:Others: uhhhh yes .

PERSONALITY:

:Overall: happy and joyful

:Likes: playing volleyball/collecting jewelry/ and whatever you like doing also/sleeping

:Dislikes: grunge things but will tolerate, not being organized, teachers who give out too much homework 🧍🏾‍♀️

:Fears: I already mentioned spiders ?

:Secrets: that's in 3rd grade she accidentally fell off the playground because she was trying to impress her crush 🤧

:Hobbies: playing sports, collecting things, simping, modeling

:Dreams: of being the #1 ranked volleyball player when going professional

:Flaws: overthinks

:Fun facts/Habits: (Y/n) is very expressive so you can tell what she thinking by the look on her face

:Others:

Quote(s):

Aaliyah: Just ramble (y/n) like you always do.

(Y/n): I don't ramble on. I know I am a great speaker and all but I don't ramble. People who ramble just keep talking and talking on and on without stopping. I can stop talking because I don't ramble. For insist you remember that one time I talked your ear off about literally what would happen if a kite caught electricity. Now that was rambling

Aaliyah: *faceplams* Ugh, thats 50 seconds of my life I will never get back

Favorite season(s): Summer

Favorite food(s): (f/f)

Favorite color(s): (f/c)

Favorite holiday: April 1st (in attempt to get Aaliyah, but fails)

Favorite animal(s): (f/animal)

—

BASIC INFO: THIS IS YOUR OLDER SISTER

:Full Name: Aaliyah Harper Immah

:Meaning of name: She's beautiful. She doesn't realize how beautiful she is. She may have a lot of enemies- Urban Dictionary

:Nickname(s): gumdrop/love

:Gender: Women

:Age: 17

:Date of Birth: April 16

:Place of Birth: Hospital back in (C/n)

:Native language: English

:Languages spoken: Japanese & English

:Ethnicity: Black/Mexican

:Occupation: Athlete

:Education: highschool 3rd year

MEDICAL INFO:

:Allergies: dust, pollen

APPEARANCE:

:Height: 182.88 cm (6'0 ft) tall ass mf 😐

:Hair color: black that fades into brown that fades into dirty blonde color (her original hair color was brown but she bleached her hair)

:Hairstyle: Long curly hair that reaches the back of mid back, but it's usually half up with space buns

:Eye color: bright blue

:Piercings: bellybutton, tongue & ears

:Tattoos: none

:Scars: on her leg from a fight she got in with (y/n)

:Clothing/Style:

:Jewelry/Accesoaries:

Belly/Tongue Piercing

: Earrings

Chocker/Rings that are worn on thumb and middle and first/Necklace

:Scent: Roses & Sugar Plums

PERSONALITY:

:Overall:(fuck 🧍🏾‍♀️) dense lowkey like Ushijima but have a sense of humor more on not very emotional (on rare occasions yes very emotional) nor expressive

:Likes: music, writing, modeling, playing basketball, cooking/baking, clothes & jewelry

:Dislikes: cockroaches & loud people 👀

:Fears: not succeeding

:Secrets: won't admit that y/n is generally a funny person & won't tell anybody she likes taking photos of the clouds and ladybugs 🤫

:Hobbies: taking photos, traveling, sweets

:Dreams: of being #1 best girls/women basketball player

:Flaws: dense, emotionless, says what's on mind

:Fun facts/Habits: Tends to scrunch or wiggle her noise like a rabbit lowkey when something interests her

Quote: "She never spoke, never made a sound, but the look in her eyes told me exactly what was about to happen"

Favorite season(s): winter & mid-fall

Favorite food(s): ramen, pho or anything sweet

Favorite color(s): royal blue, bright purple and electric yellow

Favorite holiday(s): Christmas, she likes giving gifts to (y/n) knowing she will enjoy them makes her generally happy

Favorite animal(s): polar bear, cats & owls

-Credit to CookiiesPWN on DeviantArt for template

Extra:

Your dad: Elijah Jager Imaah

Age: 40

Race: African-American

Profession: (was a professional basketball player retired after having his first daughter is now a trainer)

Height: 6'6

Languages Spoken: English/ Japanese/ A bit of Spanish since his wife sometimes talks to him in Spanish

Your mom: Homura Yua Imaah

Age: 40

Race: Japanese/Mexican( more mexican than japanese)

Profession:(Was a professional women volleyball, retired to give birth to her first daughter and shortly after started a sports company with her best friend in Japan)

Height: 5'9

Language Spoken: English/Japanese/Spanish

Aaliyah

-Artist Credit to @/AlohaSushicore on Twitter found her artwork on Picrew me and did my OC's in her style and I absolutely love it

Part 2 is here!!

Back to Storyboard!

[lessthanthreeman]

Personal Post

I just wanted to write this because it’s been on my mind and I find it frustrating how few resources there seem to be about it. With Cinco de Mayo coming up, and Latino media being all around, I’m reminded that I’m technically of mixed descent, which to be clear, I’m pretty proud of. I was raised by my mother and her side of the family who are white through and through so for a majority of my life that’s what I identified as and where a lot of my mannerisms and cultural understanding comes from. I imagine it was probably for the best, particularly growing up on Long Island, especially considering I am VERY white passing.

I never met my father (who was Puerto Rican [though later DNA tests on myself reveal that genetically speaking he was predominantly Spanish, so white Hispanic)] and have no desire to. Literally, the extent of my knowledge about him is that he was ethnically Puerto Rican to some capacity. I genuinely believed that women just got immaculately pregnant on their own until I was 7 as I just assumed I didn’t have a father (it’s somewhat embarrassing to admit, even if I was young and how was I supposed to know? I didn’t understand what was so special about the story of Mary for a long time to put it mildly.).

I remember the night I found out so vividly. I was at a sports practice and the kids were talking about their dads. I proclaimed that I didn’t have one. One of the older kids informed me that that was impossible. I was honestly offended and went to our coach, who I assume didn’t know how to respond or why I would even ask (I don’t blame him), so he told me that I definitely have a father. Again, outraged, when I got back home I asked my mother about it who told me that I did have a father.I asked “Well if I have a father, that means I must be half something else” as she had grown up telling me her half and that the other half was “American” because I was born in America (lmao). She told me that I was Puerto Rican, which I didn’t have a problem with. I didn’t even know where that was (and I guess by some technicalities, she wasn’t wrong in saying I was “American”, just “American Territory”) so that was of little impact to me. I was furious that whoever my father was chose to have no part in my life and I felt nothing but bitterness, so when she asked if I wanted to know more about him, I said no. I still like to keep it that way if I’m being honest. I am still bitter and if the little snippets I’ve heard in hushed tones from my other family is any indication, I don’t want to know more about him even if I wasn’t.

So, I continued to consider myself exclusively white because that’s what other people considered me, that’s how I was raised, that’s what I look like and likely subconsciously because I was bitter and it did benefit me on some level. As it turns out though, my mother has a thing for Hispanic guys (a little weird I guess, maybe a bit fetishistic [I don’t know the extent and I don’t want to know so I can’t say for certain], but good for her I suppose) and she soon after got involved with another guy, my now pseudo-step father in all but legality really. He’s of Mexican and Puerto Rican descent, his father lived in Mexico (and has since gone back of his own volition), his mother (IIRC) lived in Puerto Rico, etc. He’s not deeply associated with his roots, he’s definitely “assimilated” having grown up in New York and California. He speaks broken Spanish, perfect English, and really is an American through and through, save for some more traditional cultural vestiges (which isn’t bad to be clear). He loves chihuahuas, sombreros, maracas, Mexican cuisine, Speedy Gonzalez etc. It’s somewhat superficial and a bit stereotypical, but I understand why he feels a connection to it as a very American man. It’s an easy way for him to very clearly connect to his roots, even if they’re not pieces of great cultural significance. Whether or not it’s problematic, I’m glad it gives him some of the connection he wants to his culture and it makes him proud.

Growing up around him and his kids, I felt a bit like an outsider, and I’ll probably admit, initially I was arrogant. I grew up being an only child (which definitely was a big shift to begin with) and couple that with the fact that I was still at that time an academic golden child in traditionally very (BIG quotes here) “polite” (Read: white) environments, I didn’t really jive with my brothers for a long time. As things went on though, I had my golden kid breaking point, crashed out a bit, eventually my mom moved in with him bringing me in tow, and I mellowed out a bit as I got over some teenage angst. During that time, I never fully connected with the heritage because it wasn’t mine, I’m not Mexican, but I understood and appreciated it. I can earnestly say, it is one of the cultures that I am the most fascinated and captivated by. I can go on and on and wax poetic about the historical achievements of Native peoples of Central America, their food, their ability to weather adversity, and their faith that things will get better. The culture is so much deeper than the “illegal immigrants” and cartel ties that we’re constantly shown in media, and I’m glad that to an extent things are slowly shifting to show the humanity of the people. But anyway, tangents aside, I’m still very culturally white and white passing, albeit with a better understanding of Latino cultures.

As more and more time goes on though, I am starting to feel like I’m a bit disconnected from a part of my culture and heritage, but I feel uncomfortable claiming it. Not because I don’t want people to know that I’m Hispanic, I have no issue with that, in fact I love whipping out that I’m sleeper Hispanic with a Hispanic family when people think they’re safe to be a little racist with me before I call them out on it. The reason is just because I don’t feel Hispanic enough and I’m too white, and it’s something I’ve struggled with for a while, but it becomes more and more obvious to me as time goes on. I understand that this is a really common issue for people of mixed races, particularly for those with mixed heritage upbringings. They feel adrift between two worlds and people are always looking for a way to categorize them into their preexisting schemas of how we view race in America. Some of what these people say when I’m looking for it resonates with me, but a lot of it also doesn’t. It’s not because my life is harder or I’m special or anything, but it is a very particularly niche scenario. I grew up almost exclusively white, it’s difficult for me to convince a lot of people that I’m more than white, I grew up with white privilege, and I never really had a Hispanic/Latino experience.

I want to be clear, this isn’t me crying about being white, particularly also being male, cis, and generally het. It’s been a privilege for sure that’s opened up a lot of doors that wouldn’t have otherwise been open to me, I’m sure, and I wish I could extend those same rights, opportunities, and safeties to everybody. That said, I feel like a complete outsider to those roots and feel dirty claiming them. Like I’m taking it away, diluting, or appropriating those cultural celebrations from the people who really deserve them. My experiences with the people and the culture is that they’re ecstatic to share it and have people take an interest in it. It’s generally very inclusive, friendly, and they love to treat you (or at least me as a very small boyish looking man) like family. It’s genuinely awesome. I can’t not think of myself as the generic white dude who works a boring office job and says every Spanish word with the whitest accent possible (to be clear I do work an office job, but I do a pretty solid job of pronunciation with EXCELLENT R rolls, trills, etc.) invading a space not made for me.

It’s a really complex topic, one that’s hard to fully articulate, which is what I’ve seen is a consistent thread in writings from mixed race individuals talking about their experiences. I’m friends with a surprisingly large amount of white passing Puerto Rican mixed race people and you’d think I’d talk about it more with them, but no. I probably should, but it’s a personal and somewhat intimate topic to just suddenly spring on people. For now though, I suppose I’m content to observe and appreciate Latin-X culture and people “from a distance” and amplify their voices as much as I can as a white passer.

[drilovskyclan]

My KND OC's (Part 1):

Natalie Drilovsky - Patton's younger sister of 3 years, friends with Sector W, beats the shit out of Harvey and Paddy on the daily, besties with Sonia, prankster with THOMAS (we don't call him Tommy in Natalie's house), Lee's ride or die, artist, tattoo artist when she grows up, pansexual, like an 8th Chinese otherwise white, the life of the party and will fuck your gf/bf/nbf, Natalie says Trans Rights Are Human Rights.

Seth Ajaya - Sonia's younger cousin by 1 year, Shaunie's best friend, also in love with him, they fuck around cuz poor redheaded child is confused, liked Mushi since they were like 5, Sandy is a homophobic shitstain, bisexual but literally only because Mushi Sanban exists, half Native American, people think he's half black or Hispanic though, "You don't speak English right?" "Tina I'm Native American..." super monotone, unless a cute boy walks past, photographer, Mushi is his favorite model, Maria's voice of reason.

Andilea "Andi" Jenkins - Muffy Jenkins' half sister, she's half Korean so people don't believe them, straight even if you disagree, hairdresser, her mother was so controlling she looked like the Grudge girl most of her childhood, shaved her head freshman year, Cree and Stacy bullied her all the time and Chad Dickyboy just stood around and watched, Maurice is her only friend in school and calls her Andi J which is where the nickname Andi originated, she hates her name, was supposed to be on Broadway but hair is cool, hates her stepmom and dad, loves her baby sister to death though, doesn't even really like her mother tbh, Chad didn't even remember her from school till Maurice pointed it out, hates living above a funeral home Chad Dickson, also hates the name Andi Dickson but Chad is cute so she'll deal with it, didn't miss the irony of a Chad dating a Stacy.

Maria Garcia-Asello - The older twin, Mexican/Phillipino/Black, is getting tired of America, practically runs off with Shaunie to South America just so she can stop telling people she was born in NEW Mexico not Mexico, is technically the straight twin, really only dates Shaunie cuz she's got a fetish for Fulbright's being hotter than anyone gave them permission to be, needs Seth's guidance to get through life unscathed, more in touch with her Hispanic side, "conservation but i'm scared of chimps".

Mya Garcia-Asello - The younger twin, really wants a poly relationship but is a coward, technically straight but it depends on the day, "Mya talks, just not around Gilligans", Shaunie's platonic wife, Seth and Mya are the Rachel and Patton to Shaunie's Fanny, is plotting a way to kill Tina without being arrested, Tommy Gilligan knows how to kick ass and take names and Mya is #impressed, "We have a lot of kids, maybe we should have just ONE more", definitely more in touch with her African American and Phillipino heritage, ghosts don't exists so I prefer True Crime, "I bite racists", gets piercings to spite her mom.

I'll do part 2 later lol

[mikenewtonhateblog]

My oc’s aka too long of a gd post

The “BL” Crew (does not stand for boys love I’m just a moron who made that abbreviation before knowing what it stands for). My main crew and main series, a lot is a big WIP right now as I’m slowly redoing the first book and all the lore. Why? I love torture. Book is fantasy type but I won’t specify what.

Lacie, the protagonist. God tier idiot, bisexual bipolar depressed MESS, insomniac, former theater kid, doesn’t know what she wants out of life but currently it is not This(plot of book). Hot headed, impulsive, crude, rude, Mommy IssuesTM, would rather be taking a nap right now, rules are made to be broken, absolutely fucking FERAL, more bags under her eyes than the airport lost and found. 5’5, 130lbs, Aries, age 18, white as shit like literally the whitest human you have ever seen, strawberry blonde hair in a 2011 Hayley Willaims haircut with long bangs, the darkest brown eyes you’ve ever seen that stare directly into your soul. Lanky, no curves, body of a 12 year old boy but works out so she can and will kick your ass and thats a threat. Not human?

Josh. Soft boy, smart, Lacie’s cousin and only friend for like the first 18 years of her life, autistic anxious mess who’s special interest is anchient egyptian history, is in honors classes, despises math, passes out when his girlfriend looks too cute, just needs a hug. Can eat a whole carton of easy mac if left alone, whole wardobe is the same outfit just different colors/hoodies, sensory issues, seriously can someone give this guy a hug. 5’9, 150lbs, Pisces, age 18, mixed (half whatever flavor of white Lacie’s family is [they don’t even know its just some scandanavian shit and irish], and half mexican on his mom’s side), medium olive skin with freckles and moles, dark chocolate brown hair that’s a bit of a 2009 Beiber cut, warm brown eyes, not beefy, a lil thicc and self concious about it but squishy boys are GOOD. Gets bit by a werewolf so now he is one his mood on it is “thats a lot to unpack but let’s just throw the whole suitcase away”.

Zander. There is not one braincell in this man, himbo KING, pansexual dumbass with undiagnosed ADHD, no impulse control, head empty and full at the same time, PTSD, his fashion sense should be an actual crime, gets in fights to feel something, basic requirements for him to be attracted to you: kick his ass. Drinks his respect women juice, sees a folding table and must immediately launch himself on it, chaotic, cannot drive a car and will not, food aggression and eats enough for 3 people but never gains weight which is ILLEGAL, him and Lacie may be a couple.....but in this house we stan slow burn, he talks in caps and every sentence either ends with a question mark or exclaimation point, likes romcoms. 6’2, 190lbs, Sagittarius, age 19, austrailian roots and has the accent but is from [REDACTED FOR STORY REASONS], white, dorito shaped with long legs, blueish black hair that’s long and messy, dark navy eyes that match his hair, bigass neck scar from [REDACTED]. Not human

Peter. Gay dad friend who is TIRED of having to be in charge of a bunch of teenagers, only one with full functioning braincells, lowkey a genius who loves engineering, mixes magical technology with human technology because he likes to play god, is he ever sober? No one knows, will kill for a bottle of single malt, his fashion sense? Tastefully expensive suits perfectly tailored. Likes building his own weapons that no one else knows how to even use, generally non-threatening but can get scary if needed. 6’4, 140lbs string bean man, Scorpio, age 179 but looks early 30s, I know I said Lacie is the whitest human but he’s even paler like a literal sheet of paper with scandanavian roots/ancestors were vikings or some shit, blonde hair styled like 2013 Brendon Urie lmfao, light crystal blue eyes. He’s a vampire and was born one.

Danielle. Tiny, sweet, queen of girls supporting girls, comments on all her friends instagram posts with 20 emojis, LOVES fashion and has a wardrobe that would make anyone jealous, oozes feminine energy, only child and parents are in love still, gets exactly 8 hours of sleep each night and wakes up looking like a disney princess. Just because she is small and cute doesn’t mean you should underestimate her she WILL fuck your shit up. Quiet when angey which is terrifying. Josh is her bf and she loves him so much but also loves teashing the shit out of him. Legally cannot cuss, polite, used her high heels as a weapon once, speaks like 5 languages because studying them is her hobby, gardens, hugs everyone. 5’0, 110, Taurus, age 18, mixed (half french-american, half Korean-american), glowy skin always, PETITE frame aka the friend everyone can pick up when they hug, long past her waist curly brown hair, bright green eyes. She’s not fully human as she has fae blood in her and this gives her the ability to talk to and control plants. Flower crowns for everyone

Becca. Theater kid who would die to sing in Wicked and has the vocal range to do so, cannot wait to graduate and go to her dream college which she got into and a scholarship, closeted lesbian bc her whole giant family is extremely catholic and she feels like not dealing with it, “no boys allowed in bedroom” rule is her favorite joke, chill, middle child of 5 siblings and just wants some peace and quiet for ONCE. Her fashion sense is “I’m dropping subtle hints I’m gay but only to other gays”, has a black belt and took self defense classes. 5’6, 145lbs, Virgo, age 18, Latina (cuban and mexican mix), darker brown skin with light freckles over her nose, athletic build, eyebrows on POINT, bright caramel eyes, short light brown hair cut in a bob, has a tiny nose stud, always wears a blue friendship bracelet her gf made her. Human

Anika. Calling her a bitch/slut is a compliment, bisexual, a bit of a mean girl but she grows out of it give her time!!! Is always Too Much, the horny friend, favorite color is red so thats almost all of her outfits, loves to show off her body as much as she can because she’s hot and knows it and thrives in her own confidence. Her mom is literally like Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls but married a rich man 20 years older than her, Anika doesn’t know her bio dad but thats fine neither does her mom and her step dad is nice and does his best to be a dad. Becca’s gf, always hanging out at her home so Becca can get some quiet because Anika’s an only child and has a pool. 5’9, 135lbs, Gemini, age 18, white, long layered dark reddish brown hair, teal-blue eyes, swimmers body type (I normally do not mention bust size but she would want the internet to know she was blessed with big bahoogles so there you go), can sprint in heels. Half mermaid (boy was that a surprise considering her mom doesn’t know who her father is LOL)

Rex. Nb uses they/them he/him pronouns but honestly will respond to any, goth lite, only attracted to men and ace, can read minds so knows all your secrets, mischevious little shit, great friends with Zander and enjoys his dumbass thoughts and that he’s basically a human version of Jackass, wears too many rings, goth boots for kicking and fashion babey, always has the freshest memes and will not hesitate to roast in the group chat, hangs with the girls most of the time. Chaos god who loves making art, be gay do crime, skateboard and spraypaint. 5’8”, 165lbs, Leo, age 18, Native American, masculine frame, dark brown skin, blue eyes, firetruck red shoulder length hair that’s usually in a ponytail, knock-off gucci sunglasses just for judging their friends. Has magic in their blood so not entirely human and can cast spells and shit (don’t roast me its a wip and I’m doing my research)

Sam. Boho goddess, aromantic, makeup and nails are always instagram worthy, quiet and stoic type but losens up around close friends, Rex is her best friend, has some trauma and doesn’t want to talk about it, emotionally numbed out a bit and wants to purely vibe. Has seen some of the worst parts of humanity and wishes she hadn’t, finds no point in being bitter or resentful though because that won’t change anything, loves cats and once she moves out shes adopting one or three. Has wine aunt energy. 5’4, 200lbs PLUS SIZE QUEEN, Scorpio, age 18, Filipino (her parents are immigrants fun fact!), really olive skin sometimes has a grey/green tinge to it, dark brown almost black shoulder length hair, gold-hazel eyes. Sam’s the victim of a family curse that requires her to consume human hearts to survive, she can transform into a pretty scary looking being and uses this curse to hunt down pedoph*les, r*pists, murderers, and abusers. The less often she feeds the less human she looks, hence the constant grey/green tinge to her skin. 

Andy. Baby of the group, must be protected at all costs, 100% didn’t sign up to be in a friendgroup of 90% monsters but highkey loves it, trans, bi, anxiety MAXED, just wants to draw comics and cosplay spiderman, has to babysit his two younger sisters a lot because his parents are....not great, and as a result now knows all the lines to Tangled and The Little Mermaid. Big nerd energy, has to draw on everything including homework, gets inspiration for comics from his friends, awkward and socially anxious, drinks way too much tea and will accidentally steal your pens. Fears include: crowds, thunder, tall angry men, tiny spaces. Just trying his best. 5’2, 100lbs BEANPOLE BOY, Leo, age 16, white (irish and scottish roots), freckles absolutely EVERYWHERE, orangey red hair thats in desperate need of a haircut, chocolate brown eyes, braces, chronic nail biter. Human and kinda wishes he wasn’t.

That’s it for now if you read all this bless u thank u here is my whole heart. Please no discourse, literally these are fictional people I’ll never publish the books they go to.

[fuji09]

Here is something that I want to share with everyone.

You CAN change. I was raised in a Southern Baptist church. My family is very religious. My family is also very conservative. My family has that thinking that black people think everyone owes them something, that slavery is over and they weren't slaves so they don't have any reason to act like racism still exists, that racism is no longer a thing, that Mexicans should never come to America "illegally", and yeah you get the point.

I used to think that way because it was all I knew. My dad is a Hispanic man thinking like a conservative white man. My mom is half Native American and thinking like a conservative white woman. It honestly does not make sense how in the world they can think this way.

And yes I know I pass as white, my grandma who was born and raised in Mexico and first language was Spanish, and didn't come to America until she was in college, she is lighter skinned, so is my grandpa, and so is my dad. My papa (may he rest in peace) who was Native American was very darked skinned but my grandma is very fair skinned and my mom got her complextion. So lighter skin Hispanic plus lighter skin half Native American equals me having lighter skin as well, although when I'm out in the sun I sure can tan and then I look more like a POC.

But you know what? Once I got out on my own, away from that bubble they kept me in, out of hate and narrow mindedness, I was able to think for myself. I was able to see how wrong they were. I was able to see and care about other people because I used to not care if it didn't effect me. But the thing is, a lot of it does effect me, I just didn't know it at the time.

Growing up I was called a Mexican, and not in the nice way, I was picked on. I was experiencing racism and I didn't even know it! Now its no where near as bad as what black people face so please don't think I am saying I know how they feel because I don't because I am not black, I am a POC, but today is about black lives.

I was raised to be a mindless drone, follow the Bible, what your parents said, and not ask questions and think for yourself. I was scared of making my parents mad, but that's a whole nother topic. I am no longer like that.

I care about the awful things that happens to other people. I see hate and racism. I don't think the way I used to because I know it was WRONG. If I can change, so can you. You CAN unlearn racist thinking and behavior. I sure did and I'm happy I did. I do feel ashamed for how I used to be, I do have moments where I feel guilty.

I am a white-passing non-black POC and I stand with black people in this time because their lives matter.

So my entire point is, you can unlearn racist upbringing. You can change. You can stand with those who need you now more than ever. You can bring change. You can stand in between a black person and a police officer. You can stand up against oppression.

[kookies2000]

I have to add my own experience here too.

My father comes from the native people of Mexico. A mix of Aztecs and Mayans. My mom is half and half. Mexican and Spaniard, my grandmother is Mexican and my grandpa is Spaniard. So my brother and I have light brown skin, ethnic nose/features, and dark, thick, and curly/wavy hair.

My mom remarried a Spaniard man and had my two half-blood sisters. I see them as my full sisters no matter what, I adore them with all my heart. Both have very pale and light hair.

So yeah, one day I'm taking care of my baby sisters at Chucky Cheese. Helping them at the basketball game. A little boy comes and joins and I help him the same way I helped my sisters.His mom comes in and tells me I'm great with kids. This is how it went.

Her: You're so good with kids.

Me: Thanks, I take care of my sisters a lot.

Her *looks at my sisters* : Oh they are beautiful.

Me: They are very beautiful, I love-

Her: Are you their babysitter?

Me:....... what?......

Her: They are so white, and their hair is nice. Very beautiful, very American. How long have you been babysitting them?

Me:......... I'm their sister........

Her: Oh........ *quickly takes her son away. Who was still playingwith my sisters.*

Not the only experience. Another time at Chucky Cheese. I was helping my sisters wash their hands in the restroom. A lady walks in, stops, and looks at us for a good few seconds. She then walks back out. I didn't think anything of it. I just thought the restroom was crowded with my sisters and I in there. Once my sisters were done, I walked out with them. I then see the lady recording us as I'm walking out with my sisters. How do I know she was recording? No normal person will have their phone's camera perfectly angled to record the inside of a restroom. And then turn the camera to follow a person's movement. I was more than confused when I saw that. And then I remembered. Duh, I look very different than my sisters and I was speaking Spanish to them while they responded in English. If you think a kid is in danger, then yes, record. But all I was doing was speaking Spanish, which they obviously understood, and helping them wash their hands. They were laughing and having a good time. No sign of distress. I told my mom this a few days later and she said the next time people treat me that way, to tell her. She'll be sure to give anyone an ear full if they treat me like that. I usually just shrug it off and focus on my sisters. This has happened many times. People refer to me as my sister's nanny and compliment my sisters for looking white.

My brother had his share as well. He looks after our sisters and he gets called slurs for it. Or his classmates will bully him for not looking like his sisters.

People usually shut up when either my stepdad or mom (who's white-skinned because of her dad.) Step in and claim us as their kids.

Again, we shrug it off and focus on our sisters. As long as they love us like their siblings, nothing else matters....... my brother can lose his temper though so he snaps sometimes.

Ps, my brother and I adore Latin representation. So we will carry Mexican Kitty and Perrito to our grave. 😂

Because I'm seeing people confuse Puss for being Mexican.

Puss was born and raised in Spain, and his actor is Spanish. Hence making Puss Spanish, not Latino.

As for Kitty, considering her quinceañera line and her actress being Mexican, she is Mexican by canon.

And if we're gonna go the route of the characters being the same as their actors. Perrito is Mexican as well. And his actor is queer which explains why I kept getting queer vibes from him. 🤣

If you want to know why Antonio played a Mexican in the 1990s, it's because of colorism. Yes, some Mexicans think white skin is better and that dates back to the time Spaniards colonized Mexico.

[the-joshua-peck]

Qué Me Importa

If you are reading this, it is likely that you know me, and that in large part is because it is probably myself reading this at a later point, reflecting on what is my first attempt at writing. I think that it is important to know the context that I’m writing this in, I have been both inspired and frightened by author and The Atlantic writer Ta-Nahesi Coates. His is one of talent and a lot of luck, a luck that pulled him from the life of a starving artist to one of success and acclaim. Either way, his story and the way that he tells all stories has inspired me to begin writing myself. While it is not the first time I have ever written, it is the first time I have written with this purposeful self-awareness, and I have him to thank for it, whatever the outcome.

          The story I look to tell is one that I don’t believe is necessarily unique, however, I do believe it is relatively untold. Mine is the story of a boy with identity conflict. My parents come from Mexico and Massachusetts, and I come from nowhere in particular. I was born in the United States in a city called Downey in the state of California, but that is rarely the answer I give to the question “Where are you from?” If I have given that response it has never been the truth. While I may have been born there, I have no real memory of that place, no sentimental attachment to my first home there or really any other home after it. We moved often when I was young, and although I have now lived in San Antonio for nearly half of my life, it still is not home to me. But the question of where I’m from goes deeper than any place that I could be born, to where my heritage lies. I am Mexican-American in a way that feels very different from most other people. I come from an Anglo dad and a Mexican mom, yet the way I indicate on official forms is the same way that those who come from two Mexican-American parents respond. As a child I always struggled to fill those forms out correctly, at times identifying as more than one race even though I am only white, at other times identifying as “other,” and always indicating my Hispanic ethnicity, not knowing how to get across that I am somehow mixed and not mixed at the same time. It is a struggle that continues today and that I am sure will continue for a long time after now. My internal conflict is one that is reflected and reinforced in official forms of the state, furthering the divide between myself and I, a divide that can be easily seen in my own reflection.

          When I look in the mirror, I see the white boy that I most often feel like. I am not sure what others see when they look at my light complexion or hear the way that I speak without any semblance of an accent or recognize the Americanness of my last name, but I have only ever genuinely felt white, even though I now wish more than at any other time that I could see at least one Mexican eye looking back at me in the mirror. I am not ashamed of being white, but I am ashamed that I don’t feel more Mexican. When I curse at myself in my head for mispronouncing a word in Spanish, it isn’t because I’m upset that I misspoke, it is because I’m struck with guilt that Spanish feels foreign in my mouth when it should feel as natural as breathing. It is for that reason that even as I try to learn and become fluent in a language that comprises half of my heritage, I turn away from practicing with those around me who are native speakers because I fear that I will never be as good of a Spanish speaker as they are, and by extension as if I will never be as good of a Mexican as they are. I have always felt that, and not just because of a language barrier, but also because of my family.

The Mexican side of my family loves me very much and accepts me with open arms whenever I see them, but the same arms that bring me into their embrace push me away from my heritage with every offhanded comment about how I’m a “white boy.” Comments that are never made from bigotry or prejudice or malice but are purely made because that is their truth when they look into my eyes and hear the way that I fumble with a language that I cannot call my own, even as the youngest of their children fumble in the same way. But they can lack an ability to speak the language because they have grown up within a culture that called them Mexican. My early childhood has passed, and it is too late for me to mature in a culture that would call me Mexican if I had only been exposed to it. Because of that, I will never be Mexican to some people, at least not Mexican enough. When they’ve seen me dance, they comment on how the “Mexican side” of me comes out, as if that is the singular moment that I can claim my heritage and only then. It certainly doesn’t help that I am more sensitive and less dominant than the machismo men in my Mexican family, traits that I do not at all regret having but one that separates me from being a “real” Mexican man in their eyes.

There have been nights of tears created by this internalized belief that I am not enough. I am not Mexican enough because I do not know the language and because it is too late for me to grow up within its culture. I was never a member of a cousin’s quinceañera court and I do not have a home that connects me to my heritage. There are still some days when I do not feel like I should call myself Mexican-American. But it was a speech from a Latina blogger at a summit for women empowerment of all places that I heard what I never thought I would from a place other than my own thoughts. She had believed she wasn’t Mexican enough and she had been told by one of her Latina heroes that her Spanglish made her less than, and she had come out the other side. She realized, and I did in the same moment that she explained it, that there will always be someone who doesn’t think you’re “something” enough, but the only opinion that you should be concerned with is the one that is with you every sleeping and waking moment: your own. It’s an obvious enough conclusion, but to hear it come out of the mouth of someone whose story felt so much like my own, a story that I had never heard before, it resonated. Someone will always think I am not Mexican enough, but they can never refute my heritage and they will never take away my Mexican-American pride.

- Josh Peck

[djwaglmuffin]

It would be cool if you could talk about your bad experiences you’ve witnessed being the daughter of a police officer!

The reason I haven’t up to this point is because I don’t want to divert from the conversation as it pertains to the racist structure that PD’s usually adhere to (even if it’s generally unspoken or unknown in general)

My biggest gripe with fellow white people, especially these Blue Lives Matter people, is that they have elevated cops to sainthood and assume they can do no wrong. I was merely laughing at them derisively because…I know the truth.

When the cops shoot an unarmed black man in the street, I wasn’t as surprised as most everyone else and I said it then before most other people did: What? This has gone on for god knows how long…and it’s not just black people, either. While black, Native American and Mexicans get the worst of it, homeless people, women, and the mentally ill will also fall prey to cops and whatever extreme measures they deem they gotta do to their jobs and literally, all they have to say is: I was in danger and BOOM, they get away with it.

I remember when my mom and dad were getting a divorce, my dad beat the shit out of my mom but now imagine him being a cop and doing this. Where was my mom going to go when all my dad’s buddies were on his side and dismissing her. When his a bad day turned his attention to beating the shit out of me? Social services stopped coming to the house because he was threatening them.

Dad was not a substance abuser, didn’t do drugs, wasn’t addicted to anything but power and authority and TO THIS DAY (I just turned 34) I am deadly afraid of the man. Every time he looks at me, his eyes fill with a hatred that no child should see in their parents and for the longest time I REFUSED–REFUSED– to believe that men actually loved and cared for their daughters. When I saw a dude treat their daughter with love and caring, I dismissed it like it I was seeing a ghost and wouldn’t acknowledge it as fact.

My dad picked me up one day from one of his shifts and I was in the front seat of the swat car, he pulls over in front of city hall steps in Fort Worth where some homeless dude was sitting and threw him in the car for public intoxication. The dude started running his mouth, my dad drags him out of the back of the car, beat him half to death and left him. LEFT HIM.

He then promptly turns to me, who is about 4-5 years old at the time and says: You ever do anything like that, I’ll make sure every cop in Fort Worth, Texas does worse to you.

My dad was violent with us and violent with the people he shook down: a grade A bully; period. And it only “stopped” when he was off-duty one day, he went to the gym with my little sister, she was in the play area and this little boy was playing with her. According to witnesses, he accidentally tossed a ball at her a little rough and knocked her over or something. My dad saw it, barged in, beat the shit out of this kid.

This random fucking kid and I was 13 at the time and my parents were in the middle of this custody battle for my brother and I and I told this bitch lawyer: hey, look. If he’s willing to beat the shit out of a kid that’s not his, what do you think he’s doing to us?!

They dismissed me and my witness statement and rescinded my paperwork to live with my mom.

He was ultimately dishonorably discharged from the Air Force reserve and suspended from the FWPD. But there was no further investigation, no steps to remove my siblings and I from that environment and it didn’t stop. He still had connections with the FWPD and still, somehow, had Social services scared to come to the house. My dad confessed to me grandfather just before he died that the only reason he wanted ME (just me) was that my presence = money at income tax time.

My thing with all this is: If a black man tells you that he was shaken down illegally by the cops or someone says they were bullied by the cops, maybe believe them. Especially if they’re POC. 

[cries-and-sings]

88It is on fire, I’m on fire. I feel it in my extremeties. I feel my face flushed with, yo no se que, anxiety? Uncomfortable for sure. Panicky even. 

therapy day today. Unlike other days, it was more of a conversation. It was fine, though it felt a bit like i was paying someone to be my friend. lol. 

my fingers are so warm, my feet are burning too. the window is open. It’s almost comical, every past year, it’s been complaining that we don’t really get summers here. Well we skipped summer weather and went to a scorching hell. Trees burning, I’m burning up. A symptom of something that’s been a long time coming. But it’s here bitches, and no one gives a shit. 

There is no turning back now. A chunk of ice, the size of Florida, melted in teh Artic, in one day. flooding will be an issue, except for here, where everything will be burning up. 

I’ve always thought that my quality of life, as a woman of color, is better off in the present day. I think it was a gross over-simplification. For one, I wonder how much more majestic our surroundings would be. If nature is so beautiful now, I can’t imagine what it was like back then. Mi pueblito wouldn’t smell like burnt plastic. Water would be present, and there would be many birds full of chirp and color. The parakeets, I think it is my favorite childhood memory. That flock of flourescent lime green. Instead it is what it is. and the fish, I wouldn’t know that they existed, so i would never have seen them. Not that I’ve seen it for myself now, but i hear that someone’s dad’s dad said it used to be beautiful. to clarify, on a documentary a man talked about the drastic decrease in coral reef fish and biodiversity in the ocean in general. I think this was in some tropical island. I dono’t remember how young this man was, but it doesn’t matter because the result is the same and his perspective highlights how drastic the downward trend of oxygen depletion in general is. Well then let me throw another one at you, this same man, talks about how when he was a young boy, his father told him the same thing. How there were less fish than there used to be when he was a boy. And of course, wouldn’t you know it, the man’s father would tell him the same thing. 

I think I’m pretty mad, as an avid admirer of nature, that I will never be able to see it, not even in picture. Of course one could create a realistic image of what that would have looked like. But at the end of the day, it would just be all speculation, a guess. 

Global warming most likely began during the pre-industrial and industrial times, according to the internet. 

in my typical indecisive fashion, I can’t choose which period of time i would be better of in. 

Maybe I would’ve been happy in pre columbian times, though my existance wouldn’t even be possible. Why that infuriates me, I don’t know. I’m mized race, wether I like it or not. 

So I’ve digresed, the story of my family:

Dad- Short (5′4″ maybe 5′5 in his young days, his nose has a bit of a hook. He for the most part, took after his father. Beautiful thick black straight hair. Thick eyebrows, his teeth are virtually the same size. Small shovered teet. His eyes are wide, East Asian like almost. His parents, I imagine, were both short. 

His mother was born in Tixtla, Guerrero. A bigger town than where I and my father were born, which to me, is an isolated little town. I see now that that isn’e necessarily true, the isolated part. It is crazy to me that everyone knows everyone. I worry about incest lol. Eveolution fascinates me more that I realize, and the fact that the gene pool is small, you can see why one could worry. But again, me distraigo. I am proud of her lineage the most, because it would be the most native one. I was born in Native country and I am enamored with that culture. Not all of my antepasados are native to that area though. And they must’ve not have been good people. At least from the stories dad shares, they weren’t. The thing is, I don’t know arnything about my grandma, because I never interacted with her, i mean im sure i did if i was born in her home, but i remember all of my grandparents more than i remember her. Like i remember what she looked like, I just can’t remember even talking to her. And then there is the fact that I even existed, just at first though. I mean i can’t say for sure, but she was not happy about that my dad and mom got together. And she loved another little girl more. It’s fine though? Maybe, because I don’t remember being sad when she passed. I was afraid my father would be taken away from me, but not as sad about my grandma dying. I am still not super sad about it. I exaggerate it with dad, cause he loved his mom. But from what I heard, I was not her favorite. lol. I mean I’m sure she loved me some. and mom says she did apologize for the way that she treated her, so remorse or fear. quien sabe. y hasta le encargo a su hijo, her baby, that must’ve meant something.  

But her dad was a real prick. he left her mom, taking with him, a year’s harvests. What he did leave were a few hungry mouths. My dad hates the man. He would hate the fact that he would stop by my granparent’s place to get some mescal from my grandpa. Such a shameless man. I wonder what her mom’s name was, Lucina? I honestly don’t remember, I remember that I did know that when I was little. I wonder what her story was like. I have a picture of them though, so I know what they were like. Did dad know his great grandparents. Do most people know who their great grandparents were? about half of Americans know 1 or more of their granparents name. I wonder if that statistic is the same for Mexicans. 

On my grandpa’s side. His mother got around. Paternity quien sabe quien, dad knows, a Najera maybe? shit what are my granparent’s maternal last names? Well I know about her the most, becaus she lived with dads family. Story goes that her mom died when she was little, then her dad was a wealthy man, better to do at least. anyways he didn’t want to join the Mexican Revolution and ran and was able to hide for some time, but was eventually executed for it. I think dad told me the story of how that exactly unfolded, but I don’t remember it now. 

Anyways the girls were orphans, but she remembers her dad taking her to Chilpancingo, and she made it sound like she had been to Mexico City too. Which is huge, travel by horse would be insane. It’s crazy to believe that that was reality for most of humanity up until the last 150? years or so. thousands of years that was the norm, and now we fly,too. she sowed dresses, she saw a soldier shoot himself when he dropped his rifle from atop his horse and kill himself. Eran chismosos lo viejitos? who knows. Well then she was orphaned and she supported herself through sowing. She was white, her family was European, the last name, what was her last name? It just hit me that I do not know. but she did give my uncle a very italian name. but who was the man whose last name I carry. A missing puzzle piece.

Mom’s dad 

Mi hermoso viejito. The loving father I wish I had. The one that would curl his grandbabies up. Oh how I ache to be in his arms again. Mi viejito. His mother was either a prostitute or she got around. I wonder what her side of the story was. She was not a good looking woman. She looked like my grandpa with long hair. the features taht made her masculine, also made my hermoso such a handsome man. And that would be my poor chaparrita’s reason for pain many a time. His dad, who knows. I think his last name is his moms. My favorite tio uses that last name, why, who knows, in an attempt to rectify something that wasn’t supposed to be. MY uncle, the male version of my mom. it’s quite trippy to think about, groundbreaking realizations, truly lol. Oh and her mom, a living relic lol. An old woman with long hair, i don’t know her face as she was when i saw her last, or saw her in general. Did mom grow up with her there? was she always old?

I wonder what life was like, poverty after poverty. Were they even aware? More recently that makes sense, but what about back then.

It terrifies me that if it weren’t for leaving my birthtown, I would be stuck. Only seeing the outside world through a screen. And not having had flied to different places. A luxury that they do not have. 

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Anonymous

Where are you from? Kentucky

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? Half Filipina/White

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? I experienced a flood of racism growing up unfortunately coming from every race I encountered. My mother is a light-Skinned Filipina with Spanish blood and my father has German blood from his side of the family but they are deep rooted in typical southern white culture. My mom left my dad when I was six so I went back and forth from staying with my mother who regularly attended her Filipino friends' parties while I was also being raised by a bible thumping Kentuckian. Being with my mother and her side of the family I always felt more drawn to their culture, language, food, etc...My mom and grandma struggled with their thick accents for a while and definitely was getting used to the first world life compared to third world.

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? My white grandfather was reportedly racist (like my father) and disapproved of my parents' marriage, especially since my mom was a mail-order bride. They accused her for using my dad for a green card even though they never questioned the fact that my father was 36 and she was 18. But apparently my grandfather loved me a lot before he died.

How has your mixed background impacted your sense of identity and belonging? I feel very fascinated with how I came into existence. The fact that my mother traveled days to get to America and to have me here definitely made a huge impact on my personal life. I always wonder what my life would have been like if my parents had stayed in the Philippines instead of America. I think about the crazy amount of distance between me and my other Filipino cousins that I haven't seen since I was a toddler. I feel relieved every time I meet another half Filipino kid. We all relate to family problems we had growing up.

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? I get a lot of rude comments/questions about my appearance. A lot of people (mostly white and black people) ask me if I'm white as if they're certain that I'm not mixed with something else. Half the time when I tell them I'm mixed they end up replying "Well, you look Italian" or "I thought you was completely white". Some people play a "guessing game" and tell me they pre-determined whether I'm Mexican, Native American, or some other race. I rarely hear anyone confirm my true identity. Usually my Filipino family does get offended when I'm not seen like them. There's nothing wrong with asking me what my racial background is - what I find personally rude is asking bluntly "Are you white/Mexican?"

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? Yeah, people tell me that they've never seen anyone look like me. I've been told I look like a porcelain doll due to the bigger eyes, small lips, and my long black hair.

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? I get Italian and Latina a lot. Rarely Filipina.

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? I understand that I'm way more Americanized than my mother's family, but also know that I grew up in household where certain Filipino customs we're carried out in my life. I act like myself around friends, but they know I didn't grow up with everything they did. The discipline my mother gave me is based from how she was raised from her father. So the norm for her when it came to raising me was nothing like how my American friends were raised.

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? I thank my Filipino family for influencing the love I have for the sea. I never resonated with the Bluegrass state, but always found myself drawn to the ocean. I love hearing stories about life in the Philippines and the hardships my cousins faced just to come over here to America.

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? Not at all. I'm happy to tell people that I'm mixed. I always say I'm Half-Filipina or half pinay when introducing myself so I can avoid potentially racist comments/guessing games towards my appearance.

Are you proud to be mixed? Yes

Do you have any other stories you would like to share from your own experiences? When I was nine I was invited to a birthday party in my neighborhood. The girl's mother was a Christian and after finding out I was half-Filipina she also assumed I was Catholic (a lot of Filipinos are Catholic). She told me to leave the party because my kind wasn't welcomed there. I ran home in tears.

There was one time I wore a kimono for Halloween and long story short a white guy asked if I was "racist" for my Halloween costume. When I told him I was half Filipino and they wore their own style of kimono he backed off. My other half Filipino friend was there and knew I was not happy with this awkward encounter.

On Tumblr a few years ago a black girl commented "white people be crazy" on a artsy photo I did. I messaged her not to assume my race basically and instead of apologizing she tried to "dox" me finding out where I lived (Kentucky, as if people couldn't move countries) and told her followers I photoshopped a picture of my Filipino uncle and me to make it look like I was in the Philippines. My uncle was actually murdered in the Philippines a few years after that photo was taken so the harassment this Tumblr user did to me was very cruel. Other half asian girls on Tumblr defended me and shared similar of experiences of being accused for "lying" about their ethcinty due to either being too lightskinned or too darkskinned.

[adrenaline-aesthetics]

Some info about my main crew that you didn’t ask for but here you go:

Warning long post

Lacie: canonically 5'7, but is my shortest big doll; she’s angry about it. Is bisexual with a preference for girls, has chronic depression and later develops PTSD, is left handed, she’s white (German, Italian, Scottish, British mix) with a tiny bit of native American from her mom’s side. She isn’t totally human, and what kind of creature she is I won’t say online because it’s too much to explain but all you need to know is she has purple fire + other powers and a ton of rage so you should fear her. Her humor is sarcastic and deadpan and she’s pretty dead inside. Sleeps 1-3 hours a night, looks it. She’s 18 in doll form.

Josh: 5'9, straight, is on the autism spectrum but is very high functioning, also has an anxiety disorder and ADD. He’s afraid of spiders and is in a few honors classes. He’s half white (Italian, Scottish) and half Mexican. He’s Lacie’s cousin (and best friend) and their fathers are brothers, Josh’s being the older one. He was born a human but was bitten by and turned into a werewolf, a power he struggles to control but he has help from a special spell that comes in the form of a tattoo thats on the back of his left forearm. His favorite item of clothing is his orange hoodie which by some miracle he manages to not destroy on full moons or fighting monsters with Lacie. He’s 18 in doll form.

Zander: 6'1, straight, has undiagnosed ADHD, PTSD, and depression. He’s not from “the human world” as he calls it, and also isn’t human. He’s white (British) and 1/4th native American. Depending on which book, he’s either a turned vampire or has been cured and returned to being the same creature Lacie is. He has a birthmark in his right palm, same as Lacie’s on her left shoulder, this is a thing with the kind of creatures they are. He dresses like he’s from a 1990s dumpster because he’s garbage. Favorite pass time is to fight, and he’s the group’s trouble maker. No impulse control or filter, but he’s learning and trying. His hair looks black but it’s actually a very dark navy blue that only shows up in certain lights, his eyes are the same shade of navy blue-matching hair and eyes run in his mom’s side of the family. He is technically 19 in doll form.

Peter: 6'4, gay and grey asexual. He’s a 90 year old born vampire who lost his clan in the magic war that took place ten years before the books began. He’s white and its ????? but his family has Scandinavian roots. He’s genius level brilliant and can invent anything out of nothing. Is the type to buy a brand new computer then rip it open to see whats inside it and if he can improve it. Is literally the only reason Zander’s alive because he took him in after he was turned during the war. Honestly give Peter points for that he deserves them. Is pretty much the only adult in the group and he is TIRED. He loves alcohol because thats one of the things vampires can have and sometimes he needs a damn drink. His doll age is, well he’s 90ish but he looks about 27-30.

Danielle: 5'2 and should be the shortest but somehow is just a half cm taller than Lacie in doll form. She’s demisexual but heteromantic. She’s got fae blood and has the ability to communicate with and control plants. She’s half French (her dad is literally from France) and half Korean (her mom’s half lives in Seattle). Her parents died when she was a baby so her aunt and maternal grandpa helped raise her. She loves fashion and looking cute, always in dresses and skirts, looks like she will crumble if you look at her wrong, but is a deadly force to not be reckon with. But she’s generally super upbeat and tries to bring positivity and love wherever she goes. She learned French, Korean, Chinese, and sign language for fun. She’s 17 in doll form.

Becca: 5'8, gay (closeted for a while), she’s the lone human in the main group but is a black belt. She’s Latina (Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban mix). She has a loud, large, and VERY Catholic family hence why she doesn’t come out for a long time. She has 4 siblings she doesn’t ever talk about because she’s the oldest and the rest are under 12. Her natural hair color is dark brown, but she dyes it platinum blonde. She’s into theater and acting and dreams of becoming an actress. One of those annoying singer friends who loves to upstage everyone during karaoke. Has a gaydar that knows no bounds and is always right. She is 18 in doll form.

Anika: 5'9, bisexual with a preference for men. Loves to call herself a bitch, loves to BE a bitch. Petty is her middle name. She’s half white and I literally don’t know the other half because her dad is a merman and we never meet him because her mom got drunk in college and had a fling on the beach during spring break and honestly thought it was a drunken hallucination until Anika got her powers. She always wears leggings because if her legs get wet her scales show. She’s bitter about this because “it is a CRIME to cover legs as good as mine!”. Has no chill, sins constantly, is the hoe friend. Becca is her best friend and y'all know the spoiler that they later date but its complicated to explain how and when that happens. She is 18 in doll form.

Kimberly: 5'10, straight, is Lacie’s mom. She’s human unlike her daughter and the rest of her family. Is a control freak and overprotective of Lacie. They fight a lot because of this. She’s a very successful business woman and a bit of a workaholic. Has next to zero patience when it comes to things other than working, hence why her and Lacie also fight a lot. She’s White (British, German mix) and ¼th native American as her mother is half. I am still world building on stuff and doing a ton of research still so please be patient with me about stuff I wanna be respectful to Native American tribes and cultures and there’s so much to research, so, so much ;; Anyway her doll doesn’t fully match the character because Iplehouse doesn’t offer a pale olive resin color, and peach gold is too pink, so I used really yellowed normal skin and it works, also she wasn’t supposed to be Lacie’s mom it just happened when I dressed her up to stand in for a photostory lol. Anyway in doll form shes 45.

Sorry for this long post I got bored. I’ll add the last two boys whenever they come home lmao. No one has been ordered yet so I have no clue when that will be.

[oppressed-being-oppressors]

5. I Did It...What Happened? and What Do I Do Now?

I showed more family my thoughts on this and had a discussion about this. I spoke with my mothers brothers and her sister who are all full Native American but different tribes and my little sisters mom who is half white and half Sioux. I also spoke with my dad, who is full Mexican but third generation. A lot of them knew this was going on. They hadn’t really thought much about it just because of how much it happens. A lot of them said that it was just teasing. My uncle specifically thought this and looked very thoughtful throughout the discussion. 

When I spoke to my dad he knew this happened but also had given it no mind because he grew up in a predominately white area of Oklahoma. He did talk about how when he did move to New Mexico he never really identified with being Mexican like all the other people who grew up in New Mexico in a more diverse area. 

Finally, my sisters mom was fully aware and was the only one who didn’t stand for it. She told me how when she was younger and was in college in South Dakota the other Natives on the reservation would tease her for being half white. She didn’t pay attention to them since her family was pale in general. She had a support system and that helped her. She is also a very strong (and stubborn) person but nonetheless someone who stood her ground. 

Now that the issue is addressed how do we proceed? Helping people to understand what this does to others and how it can affect communities is a big part. Talking to those who are guilty of oppressing their peers is a good place to start. Educating children on what internalized oppression is early on so that it doesn’t affect them and so they don’t do themselves in the future is also another way we can and prevent this cycle of hurt on marginalized  people who already deal with other issues on the daily.