#her death was the first to break me but not the last | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cuubism · 1 day ago

Text

now, this one got REAL. unfortunately. do you want some angst (+hurt/comfort +fluff)

cw burnout, depression, animal death

It started when Jessamy died.

Or.

Well.

Hob is pretty sure it started when Dream was a teenager, if not even earlier. But it comes to a head nearly fifteen years later, when Hob comes home from work and finds Dream sitting on the floor by the couch, Jessamy held in his arms. She is still. And Dream is equally still, equally numb, staring off into space.

Hob knew it was coming someday soon. Dream had had Jessamy since he was twelve, when he’d found her as a kitten by the side of the road and somehow convinced his parents to let him keep her, so she was not a young cat, and while her health had generally been good she’d been increasingly tired and wobbly lately. And cats didn’t live forever.

She looks peaceful, there in Dream’s arms. It isn’t a bad death for a cat, Hob thinks, to curl up in a patch of sunlight on the couch and just not wake up again. Not that that will make Dream feel much better.

Hob sits down beside Dream on the floor. Doesn’t say anything, but lays his hand on Dream’s knee. Dream just keeps staring off into the distance, one hand lightly stroking Jessamy’s fur.

“She didn’t come to greet me,” he says, eventually, when they’ve been sat there for some time. “She always comes to the door.”

“I’m sorry, love,” Hob says.

Dream sits there for a long time, just holding her. Later Hob helps him bury her in the garden, then Dream goes upstairs and buries himself under the blankets in their bed and doesn’t come back out for the rest of the night.

Later Hob will think, that was the first domino to fall. Even later, he will realize it wasn’t the first, but the last.

Dream was often seen as stoic. Unemotional. Hob thought so too, when he’d first met him. But he’d quickly come to learn that the real Dream was extremely sensitive and had simply learned to keep all of that inside and present a functional front to the world. And Dream was, indeed, exceedingly functional. Not just functional, Dream was brilliant. He’d graduated top of his college, and he’d gone to Oxford, and then he’d launched a tech company, and even published a novel on the side simply because he enjoyed doing it. When it came to standard metrics of success, Dream was one of the most functional and successful people Hob had ever met.

And Dream was crashing.

Hob comes home from work a bit late one day to find Dream slumped on the couch, face pressed into a pillow. The TV is on, but he doesn’t seem to be watching it. There’s a book on the table beside him, but he isn’t reading. He’s just lying there. Listlessly.

“You alright, love?” Hob asks, and Dream just shrugs one shoulder under his blanket.

“I fell asleep on the couch in my office,” he says, “so I came home.”

This immediately rings Hob’s alarm bells because Dream doesn’t do that. He doesn’t come home early from work. He barely takes a lunch break.

“Feeling ill?” Hob asks, perching on the couch beside him.

Dream shrugs again.

“Want some dinner?”

“I suppose.”

He’s barely looked at Hob. He’s not even budged from his sprawl on the couch. But when Hob gets up to get dinner, Dream reaches out, snags a hand in his sleeve, squeezes once and lets go.

Hob leans down to kiss his forehead, and Dream sighs.

Hob brings dinner back to the living room a half hour later, and Dream sits up with him and eats but barely says a word. He listens as Hob talks about his own day but barely contributes beyond brief answers to Hob’s questions.

After dinner he lies down with his head in Hob’s lap and goes quiet again. Hob is starting to get worried, but he gives him the benefit of the doubt. It could just be an off day.

Dream falls asleep in Hob’s lap, and then later gets up and goes to bed at barely 9pm despite how he’s normally a night owl.

“Dream?” Hob says, before Dream retreats to their bedroom. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I am just tired,” Dream says.

Then he sleeps for ten hours and wakes barely early enough to get to his office on time. And doesn’t seem particularly concerned about it. Then again, Dream does own the company, and can hardly fire himself for being late. But he’s normally much more particular about it.

Then it’s an off two days. Then it’s an off week. Then it’s an off two weeks.

Hob comes home from work and, instead of finding Dream back on his laptop doing more work, or working on his novel, he’s just lying in bed with the covers over his head. Earbuds in, listening to music or an audiobook. I’m tired, he says when Hob asks. I don’t feel well.

Do you want to work on your novel? Hob asks. Usually cheers you up.

Dream’s novels are an escape from the stresses of his other work. He’d published the first one under a pen name so it would have no connection to his company or anything else about him. He’d been so proud when it hit the bestseller list.

No, Dream says. I don’t care. It’s meaningless.

Worry is starting to sit heavier and heavier in Hob’s chest.

Hob’s known for almost as long as he’s known Dream that Dream struggles with a latent, underlying level of depression, but it’s been well managed thus far and he’d thought Dream had found an equilibrium with it.

Apparently it was a much more fragile equilibrium than he’d realized, because now everything seems to have tipped and flipped over.

At first he thinks Dream isn’t doing anything about it. But then Hob learns that he is, and that almost feels worse, because now Hob doesn’t know where to even start helping him. Dream has already taken medication for years. He’s recently increased his dose and it’s done nothing. He already sees a therapist. He’s started going twice as often as he did before and still nothing seems improved. He hasn’t pulled away from Hob. He still curls up to him in bed at night, and lays on the couch with his head on Hob’s lap while they watch TV. He lets Hob drag him around doing things he thinks might cheer him, like walks in the park, feeding the pigeons, going to the botanical gardens to look at flowers. If Hob cooks something, he’ll eat, but he makes no effort to eat otherwise.

He goes, he does things, but he isn’t there. He’s checked out, distracted, and his smiles are hollow.

Hob watches him pick up books he would normally love, read one page and then put it down again. Watches him abandon the newspaper crossword puzzles he usually likes to do over breakfast after solving only one or two questions. Watches him get dressed in the morning, putting on his usual all-black attire with a mechanical precision that suggests he’s operating on autopilot and not thinking about it at all. He just doesn’t seem to care about any of it, and Dream normally cares so much about everything that it’s really starting to freak Hob out.

Hob asks him if he’s okay and he says he’s just tired. Hob asks him why and he says he doesn’t know. And the worst part is, Hob believes him. He doesn’t think Dream does know what’s wrong. It’s not just grief for Jessamy that’s doing it. Hob thinks it’s more that Jessamy was a tiny piece of a support structure that was far more meager than either of them realized, and now all the rest of the heaviness has come crashing down. That doesn’t mean Dream has the words for what any of that is, though.

Hob worries about him when he’s at work. He worries about him whenever Dream is out of his sight. He thinks about how relentless and intense Dream usually is and contrasts it with his current listlessness and he worries.

He thinks about Dream graduating university with honors while he built a whole fucking company in his dorm room and wrote the first half of a novel on the side, and he worries.

Dream had always made time for Hob then, too. And he always has since. Or maybe being with Hob was the sanctuary he carved out for himself amidst the whirlwind of all that he was.

Now more often than not Dream comes home and immediately collapses on top of Hob on the couch and doesn’t speak a word for a least two hours. Hob is just glad that, whatever’s going on, he at least isn’t fully isolating himself. He’s still coming to Hob for comfort, in whatever way he knows how.

The next time it happens, Hob messages Lucienne, Dream’s COO. In fact he does it from his phone while Dream is lying on top of him, and Dream doesn’t even notice.

Has Dream been alright at work recently? he writes.

Lucienne responds fairly quickly. She’s a bit of a workaholic, just like Dream. I am not sure he would want me sharing all his business without his knowledge.

Hob sighs. He supposes it’s fair that she’s protective of her boss. Lucienne. Come on. Please. I’m worried about him.

He seems tired lately, she writes, at length. And distracted.

Anything in particular going on?

No, if anything, we are in a bit of a slow down at the moment. There is not as much on our plates.

Odd.

Do take care of him, Hob, Lucienne adds.

Always will, Hob says.

He puts his phone aside, and pets Dream’s hair. Dream hums in pleasure, nuzzling into him. “Sweetheart. You want some dinner?”

“If you desire,” Dream says.

Hob’s not convinced he would eat anything at all if Hob didn’t push him.

“Come on, up, we’ll get something to eat,” Hob says, and Dream groans, but lets Hob maneuver him up, and sits placidly in the kitchen with the cup of water Hob pushes into his hands as Hob cooks. He is so placid, lately, in general. Hob is used to Dream being strong-willed and opinionated. It’s upsetting to see him passive.

All he can do for now, though, is take care of Dream as best he can. As he always does.

It hits a breaking point when Dream simply doesn’t go into work at all.

Hob is working from home that day, and doesn’t notice at first that eight o’clock has passed and Dream hasn’t left the house. At around nine he goes to make more coffee and realizes, suddenly, that Dream’s shoes are still by the door, his coat still hanging on its hook. So Hob goes to find him.

He finds Dream still lying in bed, not asleep, just sort of staring blankly at the wall, arms wrapped around himself. Hob lays a hand on his shoulder. “Hi, darling. You getting up for work?”

“No,” Dream says, flatly. “I cannot. I don’t want to.”

So Hob calls Lucienne to let her know Dream’s sick and won’t be coming in. He can hear her concern over the phone. Dream almost never calls in sick. If he gets something contagious, he just works from home instead of resting.

Maybe this is part of the problem. Maybe this is all part of the huge, looming cloud of pain that has apparently been covering Dream like a shroud for longer than Hob’s even known him without Hob ever truly seeing it.

When he puts his phone away and comes back Dream is still lying in the same position. Heart in his throat, Hob climbs into bed to sit beside him. “I told Lucienne you’d be out today,” he says gently. Dream turns over to face him, wrapping his arm around Hob’s thigh to pull close. That gives Hob some hope. That Dream still wants to reach out. “She was worried about you.”

Dream looks up at him solemnly. “And you?”

“I’ve been worried about you for a long time, darling. Talk to me.”

“I meant to go in today,” Dream says. “I have things to do. I suppose. But. I realized that I don’t care about any of it. I tried to remind myself how to care about it. But I could not remember. And so there was no point in getting up.”

“Perhaps you’re a bit stressed about it all,” Hob suggests, but Dream shakes his head.

“I do not feel anything about it at all. I think the company could disappear entirely in this moment and I would feel nothing but this... numbness. I ought to care. But I don’t. It’s meaningless.” He presses his forehead into Hob’s thigh. “I think it ought to scare me. But I don’t feel that either. I don’t feel anything.”

Hob breathes out hard. “Okay. Alright.” He pets Dream’s hair as he thinks. He doesn’t feel very equipped to handle this, but Dream’s regular therapy and meds don’t seem to be doing anything so he’s going to have to try. And if Dream’s regular routine isn’t helping then maybe it’s not his usual depression. Then maybe Hob can work out something to begin to help. “Maybe we need to take you on a very, very long holiday. So you can have a rest.”

Dream lets out a choked laugh, though when he speaks there’s no humor in it. “Hob. I think if I stop moving for that long. I will not get up again. So if you wish to have a functional partner, you may want to withdraw that suggestion.”

Hob feels his heart break in two. “What if I want an alive partner?”

“I am not planning to kill myself.”

“Recently it seems you’re well on your way to it, Dream.”

Dream is silent for a long moment, then says, voice cracking, “I am not trying to—”

“I know, I know, honey,” Hob slides down the bed to rest beside him, pulling Dream into his arms. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know any other way to be,” Dream cries, pressing his face into Hob’s shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay, my love.” They have been together since university. He’s seen Dream go through bouts of depression before. But he’s never seen him like this. Fracturing at the seams. It’s frightening. “I love you so much, do you know?”

“I know.” He squeezes Hob close. “I do know.”

“I don’t care how functional you are,” Hob says, making a clear mockery of the word, and Dream laughs weakly. “I do actually like you, you know. You. Not Mr Great Tech Innovator.”

Dream groans. “Please do not call me a ‘tech innovator’ or I may have to actually kill myself out of shame.”

Hob remembers when Forbes had wanted Dream to be in their thirty under thirty issue and Dream had refused because he thought it was ‘stupid and self-aggrandizing’ and because he ‘didn’t put in years of work for the purpose of being on the cover of an insipid magazine.’ Hob loves this stupid idiot so much.

Dream doesn’t do any of it for fame. Hob doesn’t entirely know why he does it. He think maybe pouring all of himself out is the only thing Dream knows.

“When’s the last time you feel you got an actual break?” Hob asks.

Dream thinks about it. “Year 10,” he says at last. “I spent the summer holiday doing nothing but reading. It was blissful.”

“Dream, that was fifteen years ago."

“After that summer I was always working somehow. Doing advanced class prep work. Then university prep.” He gives Hob a sly sidelong glance, and despite the heavy topic, Hob internally cheers to see a bit of his humor come back. “Needless to say, I was not spending my free time partying when I was in school.”

No, Hob knew that about him. Dream is practically incapable of having fun. Even one of his supposedly stress-relieving outlets, writing, he’s managed to turn into a side career as an author. And Hob knows that, unless one is a verifiable genius, one doesn’t earn the perfect marks Dream had all through school without sacrifice. Hob had gotten good marks, too, but Dream had always been a step above.

And he knows Dream’s parents had always demanded utter perfection. Whether they ever rewarded him for any of it, Hob doesn’t know.

“Hey, darling,” he says. “You’re doing a good job.”

Dream whimpers, pushing his face into Hob’s chest.

“You’re doing enough,” Hob continues. “You’re doing so well. I promise. It’s all okay. It’ll be okay.”

“I love you,” Dream says. He clings to Hob, wrapping his arms around him, slipping one leg in between Hob’s thighs. “So much.”

It would be easy to feel insecure around Dream’s level of success, except that Dream’s love for Hob is so obvious. To Hob it is, at least. Dream cares for him so deeply, in his way, and he never acts like he thinks Hob is lesser for not being someone Forbes is pursuing for their lists. If anything, Dream usually discounts his own success, and is, generally speaking, obsessed with Hob and everything Hob does.

This is also a visceral reminder of the costs of this type of success.

“I love you, too, sweetheart,” he says, rocking Dream in his arms.

“I have been feeling. Somewhat unwell, recently,” Dream admits. “Increasingly so. I suppose I ought to be grateful, in a way, that my mind forced me to shut down before my body did.”

Hob’s not sure he himself feels quite grateful about it, but he is glad Dream at least recognizes the problem.

“We’ve just got to send you to the seaside for your health,” he says.

Dream laughs, genuinely this time. “Truly.”

“Get you a little break. It’ll help, I promise. You’ve just been over-working yourself, hm?”

“I do not think it is my current level of work that is the problem,” Dream says. “I think. I have been running so long. I simply cannot anymore. Effort, itself, is not a problem for a marathon runner. But duration eventually becomes exhausting.”

“I know. It’s okay. Might need a bit longer of a break, is all.”

“I do not know how,” Dream says.

“You let everyone else at work take breaks, don’t you?”

“I used to not,” Dream says. “Not enough of them. Until Lucienne made it quite clear that I was being unfair to them. I was not trying to be. I was simply… used to my own work patterns and did not realize the strain it was putting on them.”

“But you changed it,” Hob says. “You can change it for yourself, too.”

“Perhaps,” Dream says.

“Hire someone who can do some of your tasks and then give yourself a little break. Go somewhere warm and sit on a beach and drink sugary cocktails.”

Dream laughs. “I don’t know if my brain is suited to that.”

“Exactly why you should do it.”

“Will you come with me on this… health retreat by the sea?” Dream asks, some humor back in his voice.

“Course. I’ll take a sabbatical and go with you. But also. Do you think you might want a bit of time to yourself?”

“By myself?” Dream questions. “I do have time to myself. I am already quite solitary.”

“I know. But. Do you think you’d want a bit of extended time to just do what you want to do?” It would hurt, to be away from Dream for an extended period of time. But he wants Dream to have that, that freedom to be completely unburdened, to have no expectations, if it will help him.

“Hmm.” Dream considers. “Perhaps a bit. But I like to be with you.”

“I like to be with you, too, my love. Think about somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. And we’ll go. Or if you just want to rest here, that’s fine, too.”

“You don’t have to do all this,” Dream says quietly.

“I want you to be well,” Hob says. “More than anything, I want you to be well.” He kisses Dream’s forehead. “Besides if you don’t think I’m already imagining us on a beach—”

Dream laughs. “I see.”

“Come now, you want to see me shirtless, don’t you?” Hob teases.

“I see you shirtless every day,” Dream says dryly.

“Don’t you want to get extremely drunk and naked and fool around in a luxury villa?”

“What counts as ‘extremely’ naked?” Dream asks. “Taking off my skin?”

“Dream.”

Dream chuckles. “I do. That sounds enjoyable. I would like to leave my laptop at home and perhaps wander around a seaside village, drinking wine until I have killed all of my brain cells.”

“Now you’re getting into the spirit of it,” Hob says.

“Hob,” Dream says, serious again.

“Yeah?”

“What if I take a break,” Dream asks, quietly, “And then I cannot convince myself to go back?”

There’s true grief in his voice, but still Hob counters, “What if you take a break and you feel better?”

Dream smiles, faintly, Hob feels it against his skin. “Always the more positive attitude.”

“One of us has to.”

“But what if,” Dream continues, “I take a break and I learn that I never wanted to do any of it at all?”

This is a stickier question. “Why would you have done any of it, if you didn’t want to? You must have wanted to on some level.”

“I don’t know,” says Dream. “It is just what I’m used to.”

“Maybe you’ll want to again,” Hob says. “Maybe you won’t. Can’t we take it one day at a time?”

Dream lets out a long, aggrieved breath. “You are so nonchalant.”

“Thought that’s one of the reasons you liked me.”

“It is,” Dream says, sounding incredibly frustrated about it. “Yet I do not understand it in the slightest. You truly just… have faith that everything will work out regardless?”

“I have faith we can figure it out,” Hob says. “And that I’ll always have your back. That you’ll never have to work through it alone.”

“You are a wonderful partner,” Dream says. Then, “I would like to go out tonight.”

“You… would?”

Dream nods. “I would like to remember what it was like when we first met. And I feel sorely lacking in romance and I’m well aware it’s my own doing. I know it may not feel the same right now but I want to... try. And. I miss you. Will you take me out on a date?”

Hob is thrilled by this turn. “Of course I will. Are you sure?”

“Yes. Can you also tell Lucienne I will be out sick this week and then hide my laptop and phone somewhere I will not find them?”

Hob laughs. “Alright, darling. Get some rest for today, hm? We’ll go out for drinks or something later. I have missed you. I’ve missed seeing you cheery.”

“‘Cheery’ may be pushing it,” Dream says, with a small smile. “However. I would like to have sex tonight.”

Hob bursts out laughing, not at the idea, but at the absolutely flat way Dream says it. He really does have a way about him.

“It’s been too long,” Dream whines.

It has been too long. “Oh, don’t think I’m saying no,” Hob says, and slips a hand up under Dream’s shirt to feel up his back. Dream laughs, snuggling closer to him. It’s so good to hear him laugh.

“Anything you want, anything that will make you happy,” he says. “I love you more than anything.”

Dream leans up to kiss him, long and sweet, then collapses atop him again, as he has nearly every day for weeks. Except this time it doesn’t feel quite so defeated. It feels like it could maybe be rest.

#ngl this ended up more hopeful at the end than i expected #hob's really doing his job as sunshine boyfriend XD #hob as a character is such an antidote to my brain problems tbh #dreamling #my writing #burnout #cw depression #cw pet death

114 notes · View notes

swtsupernatural · 1 day ago

Text

D.W || MYSTERY SPOT

Content Warning takes place a few weeks after 'Mystery Spot' 3.11, swearing, dean being dean, knives, and mentions of dean's death from 3.11.

Summary Angst, slow burn i think - Days have gone by and everyone in your town seem's to be on loop and you're the only one aware. Just as you're about to break down, two men in an Impala show up to lend a hand.

Ask @almostegg / @almosteggs : The brothers visit a new town that's stuck in a time loop. No one there is responsive and simply do their daily routine over and over again. Reader is the only one aware of what's happening and she is trapped within the town.

W.C. 2,200 words

A.N. first ficcc so excited to finally get this up. enjoy <3 - claire

Gunnison, Colorado. It was meant to be a shortstop for the Winchester boys, mainly for gas and food. They were on the way to a hunt in Utah with what they figured was a Banshee, based on the news they’d heard at least. It was early November, and the temperature was declining everyday. People strolled through the small town in coats and scarves, cheeks pink from the cold. Dean could even see heat steaming off of Baby as he parked her at a random gas station.

“Oh, shit,” Sam muttered, his eyes leering over his book to see the bright orange symbol on Baby’s dash. Dean had just finished filling up his car and was inside the gas station purchasing a few bars and snacks from the teenager at the front. Sam came up behind his brother, his jaw clenched.

“Don’t tell me,” Dean muttered, tossing a random credit card to the cashier.

“Car needs an oil change.”

“Oh that’s just freaking great,” Dean turned to the cashier, a frown on his face. “Where’s the nearest car shop, kid?”

“It’s Steve’s Auto Parts, just down Terrace street on the left, but it’s closed right now.”

“Of course it is,” Dean signed. He looked at Sam through his brows before looking back at the kid. “Nearest motel?”

“Now what, we just sit around all night until that damn shop opens in the morning?” Dean said through his teeth, tossing his back on the left bed.

“Well, maybe we can actually get some sleep tonight. Relax, Dean, we’ll be on the road tomorrow before seven.” Sam searched through the restroom for supplies. Motel stops were the time to take things like towels, soap, and other stuff they could throw in Baby’s trunk in case they needed it. Sam sighed, finding nothing in the room except cracked walls and a small slab of used soap. “M’ gonna ask the front desk for some stuff, be right back.” Sam passed flickering hall lights, hearing conversations of guests through the thin walls.

“Good evening, sir, how may I help you?”

“Hi, I just need some stuff for our room, thanks.” The woman at the front desk handed Sam two toothbrushes, some toothpaste, and a couple towels.

“Have a goodnight. Oh, I completely forgot when you checked in.” She reached below the desk, opening a few drawers before handing him a pamphlet. “If you’re looking for some places in town to visit, here's a guide.” The town didn’t often house anyone but locals, not having a large population or many visitors at that. It seemed like everyone knew each other.

Sam nodded, “Thanks, goodnight.”

“Have a great night, sir.”

The next morning the two woke up at six, the motel alarm blaring an ugly, distasteful BEEP-ing sound. They both packed the little they had swiftly, heading out though the creaking door. At the front desk, the same woman from last night stood stock-still; that same fake-looking smile on her face.

“Goodmorning, folks, how may I help you?”

“Just checking out,” Sam put the keys on the desk. She nodded, grabbing the keys, and packing them behind the desk. Suddenly, her face lit up as if she had just remembered a forgotten thought.

“Oh, I completely forgot when you checked in.” She reached below the desk, opening a few drawers before handing him a pamphlet. “If you’re looking for some places in town to visit here's a guide.”

“Oh, thank you, but I already got one last night,” Sam smiled. She stared at Sam blanky.

“Have a great day, sir.” He nodded with tight lips, grabbing Dean’s arm and leading them outside.

“Dude, she said the exact same thing to me last night when I came down for stuff.” Dean shrugged.

“Probably just her regular spiel, you know how those jobs are.” Sam lowered his brows, his gaze on nothing in particular.

“I don’t know, it was just weird…” Dean shrugged, “Who cares as long as we're out of here within an hour.” He focused on the road, more preoccupied with fixing Baby and getting on with the case they were supposed to be working on. A few minutes later, a large, rusted sign reading ‘Steve’s Auto Shop,’ came into view, the blue and red paint chipped away from weather and old age. Dean parked his car and walked hastily inside, Sam on his tail.

“Hey!” They heard someone yelling. Inside, a woman stood at the front of the store, waving her hands frantically in the man’s face. She couldn’t have been much older than Sam. “Dad, this isn’t fucking funny, seriously.” The man stared at her blanky, before looking up at her, as if just registering her face.

“Hey, Honey, how can I help ya? Shouldn’t you be at school, it’s Monday.”

The woman groaned, her hands flying to cover her face in frustration, “Dad, it’s Thursday. Please, I’m begging you, stop this, whatever is going on, please…” Dean got closer and saw tears in her eyes. He approached her tentatively, making his voice known first.

“Hey,” the woman jumped at Dean’s voice, but she quickly looked relieved to see him, though Dean was sure they’d never met. She walked up to them impatiently, looking both of them up and down skeptically. “Are you real? You’re not…from here. You can see me right, hear me?”

“Hey, it’s okay, we’re uh, real. What’s the matter?” Sam said gently, coming closer to her and Dean tentatively. She stared at Sam, then Dean, and sighed a heavy exhale. Dean knew that exhaustion she was feeling, he’d felt the same way before.

“Are you guys visiting?” They both nodded. “How long?” Dean explained how they had come last night and only meant to stop briefly, but was having car troubles. Usually he wouldn't give strangers his life story, especially in his line of work, but this woman was obviously in distress. An odd sort of distress. A, ‘supernatural problem’, sort of distress. She nodded, like she was trying to calm herself down enough to explain what was happening.

“I…I’m going to sound insane.” Sam and Dean gave each other a knowing look. Definitely their type of problem.

“Trust me.” Sam interrupted. “We’ve probably heard weirder.”

“I don’t know…I woke up Monday and everything was normal. Tuesday, I woke up the same alarm, everyone was acting weird, like, repeating the same few things. And Wednesday it was the same, and I thought it would change today, but I feel like I’m going insane. I mean, my own father doesn’t recognize me, no one does. It's like they're all stuck. But I’m not. Heard that kind of crazy?”

Dean laughed, “Actually, yes. Uh, we might be able to help.”

“You’re serious?” She looked up at Dean, like she was finally seeing him, her eyes leering over his intensely green eyes and old brown jacket

Sam nodded, “This might sound even crazier, but we guess this is our buddy. Sounds like we’re dealing with a trickster.”

“So…who are you guys?”

“I’m Dean, this is Sam. We kinda deal with this type of stuff.”

“What? The same day over and over? That kind of thing?”

“Not exactly, but I think we can help. I had to deal with this same thing a couple weeks ago.” She surveyed them once more, finally extending her hand, first to Sam.

She told them her name, and they replied this theirs. “Nice to meet you. Really nice, if you’re who you say you are.” She brushed her hair out of her face, walking outside, the boys following behind her. “That your car?” She asked.

Dean nodded proudly. “Yeah.”

“Nice.” Dean smirked, giving Sam a wink. Sam rolled his eyes, sighing loudly.

“So,” Sam walked closer to you, saying your name, “Has anything crazy, other than this loop, happened yet? Like…someone getting hurt or…dying?”

“What the hell? No,” she stared at Sam with wide eyes.

“Just asking,” Sam said, glad that at least she didn’t have to go through what he went through in his time loop. Dean sighed, not sure how he could get out of this. Last time Sam was stuck in one of these, he wasn’t aware of what was happening. Now the three of them were fully conscious and he still didn’t know what to do.

“We think you’re in a time loop,” Dean finally said behind her shoulder, making her turn her head slightly. Damn, they were tall. And this one was really cute…Jesus, she was stuck in a time loop, or something, and she was undressing this guy with her eyes. Not that he seemed to mind.

Sam cleared his throat loudly and Dean and Y/N looked forward to Sam. “So, are there any odd sort of tourist attractions around here?”

She shook her head, “No.”

The brother looked into space, deep in thought before she decided to show them around, maybe give them ideas of what they could do.

“C’mon, let me show you what I mean.” She walked them through town, the same peoplee from yesterday strolling around town with scarves and coats alike. Suddenly, a hand sprung on Dean’s chest, shoving him to the side, a flower pot breaking where he stood. He looked to the side and saw her. “Sorry!” A woman from the apartment building yelled. Y/N mimicked her, a “sorry!” slipping from her mouth. They kept walking, and she prevented them from walking on the road, despite the crosswalk sign clearly flashing white. A car sped past, a police car following close behind. The boys kept walking, following her into a coffee shop.

“I’m gonna order a matcha, the woman behind me is gonna get a black coffee, and the man after her is gonna get a latte.” She ordered, waiting for her drink next to the boys, the woman behind her ordering a coffee, black, and the man following her ordering a… “Green tea, please.”

“Wait, he…” he winked at her, before looking at Sam and Dean with amusement on his face. Sam was on him in an instant, pulling him around the corner of the shop. “What, doing this to random innocent people, now, huh?” His face turned into a twisted smile that made Y/N’s stomach turn. The man’s face began to shift into a completely different one. He was still a person, but a nonidentical one.

“What the hell…” she backed up near Dean, and he put an arm in front of her space, the other arm reaching slowly for his knife.

The man smiled, “guess again, sweetheart.”

Dean lunged this time, his knife pressed even closer than Sam’s.

“You get her out of this before I end you here, and now.” Sam was next to her now, letting Dean take out his own anger on the trickster. Sam was almost still. The being under dean’s knife had left Sam alone and broken after dean ‘died.’ It was the worst time of his life. Losing Dean had turned him into a monster, and he hadn’t even told Dean everything.

“What did she do to deserve this mess, huh? Fuck with us all you want but she’s not a part of this.”

The man slimed in Dean’s grip. “You’re right. She’s not. I just…well, I got bored! Spun a wheel, of sorts, and landed in this town. Fate may have it that she won my good graces.”

“Get her out of here before I carve that stupid smile right out of your face.”

“No can do, son. I’m having too much f–” Dean’s knife was in the man’s chest instantaneously, twisting like a dreidel before Dean forced it out of him.

A car passed, their brights flashing on the three, and next thing she knew, Y/N woke up in her bed, just as she had the last few days, her clock reading; ‘Tuesday, November 3rd, 2008.’

“Holy shit.” Something stirred on her floor, and before she could properly think, her knife under her pillow was on the figure in an instant.

“Dean?” she had lunged at him, her blade nearly pressing into his throat. “What happened?” Dean looked at her with wide eyes. “This is how you repay me for saving your life?”

Sam, from the other side of her bed, laughed as he stood up. His face was beaming, smiling happily at the clock,“You broke it, Dean. She’s out of it.”

“Oh my god.” She released the knife from her hands, tossing it god knows where in her room before wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

“Thank you,” she breathed, her breath tickling Dean’s neck, making him feel things he’d rather not admit. Dean smiled, helping her stand.

“Anytime, Y/N.” They stared at each other for too long once again, her eyes less shameless than before, causing Sam to speak up.

“We should go…soon. I’ll go get the car. Be back in 30.” She smiled wondrously at Sam, but missed his wink to Dean as he left her room. It wasn’t common that Dean got with girls Sam was a fan of, but he did like Y/N. He’d give them a small slice of time together.

“So. 30 minutes?” Dean said too close to her ear for it to be friendly, smirking and showing his pretty teeth. She nodded, her face heating up.

“The clock’s ticking, Dean. We should get this started.” She grabbed his shoulder with one hand, the other curling in his hair as they fell back on the bed. Maybe Dean wasn’t in such a rush to get to Utah.

#supernatural #supernatural masterlist #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #charlie bradbury #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #supernatural fanfiction #fanfiction #supernatural fluff #supernatural angst #supernatural smut #dean winchester x reader smut #sam winchester x reader smut #dean winchester angst #dean winchester x reader angst #dean winchester x you

63 notes · View notes

silcobrainrot · 7 hours ago

Text

***SPOILERS FOR THE FINALE DO NOT READ UNTIL YOUVE WATCHED***

I know TBSkyen has told us to sit with it for a while before deciding how we feel about the ending but I’m sorry I don’t think any amount of sitting with it is going to make me okay with them killing Jinx. The way she died wasn’t satisfying, the sacrifice meant almost nothing, and all the effort of those around her to keep her alive ended up going nowhere. Isha ends up being completely pointless because she’s only a plot device not a proper character and Jinx dies anyway. I don’t see how this was a satisfying conclusion to her narrative arc and character arc, I just don’t. Any supplemental material that makes it so she’s still alive in the games doesn’t matter to me because in the Arcane canon she is dead. To anyone not playing the games she is dead.

It’s making it hard for me to even want to rewatch it or enjoy what else was there because I’m just. I’m so goddamn fucking tired of seeing mentally ill characters have to die to lift the burden of their existence from others. Vi was so well adjusted and happy after. No mourning. No funeral/end of life rights. Her death was sudden and contrived just for some extra shock value. It didn’t feel like a tragic death, like out of a tragedy, bc this season wasn’t structured like a tragedy the way the first season felt. Her death didn’t feel inevitable and I’m furious because out of everyone. Out of EVERYONE. She deserved to live through this. She deserved to come out the other side of all her pain and suffering. She deserved to walk away from it all. But she didn’t. Because Borderlines are evil people and people with DID are evil and the only way they can redeem themselves is to die. The only happy ending is with them dead. The other two characters who showed suicidal ideation are also functionally dead. Whether or not they’re literally dead, the story’s over, they’re as good as dead.

Dont even get me started on how in her last moments she doesn’t see Isha or Silco (the two characters we SEE HER have a genuine familial bond with), only Vander (whom she has two sequences with in s1, the longer of which had no dialogue and was still less than a minute). She burned down The Last Drop—which she associated with Silco more than Vander now—to break the cycle of violence by killing the last connection to her past, she’s finally free, and then she fucking. Dies. Anyway.

God I want to enjoy what we did get but I just. I’m so tired of the end of my story always being that I have to die so other people can live.

#yeah yeah yeah I’m projecting onto a character fight me that’s why characters exist #that’s why we invented fiction. to project and relate.#jinx is everything I would have been if I hadn’t gotten help #if you don’t like anything I’ve said here just block me or whatever cuz I’m not taking criticisms at this time #arcane #arcane spoilers #arcane season 2 #arcane s2 #arcane s2 spoilers #season 2 spoilers #spoilers #arcane jinx #jinx arcane #jinx #rant #rant post #vent post #personal vent

39 notes · View notes

bisexualbellamyblake · 2 days ago

Text

a quiet undoing

buddie - post-808 coda - read on ao3

“Eddie’s moving to Texas.”

Maddie blinks at Buck, processing his words. It’s barely a second before her head tilts, and her eyebrows draw in, and she’s looking at him like he’s six again, like he’s fallen from his bike and all she wants to do is patch him up.

Protect him from the world.

“Oh, Buck,” she says, soft like she’s worried he’s fragile, like he might break, and maybe he will, because he doesn’t even remember it, driving to her house.

It’s all a blur.

Going to Eddie’s with a basket of baked goods.

Using his key and feeling that quiet thrill in his chest at the click of the front door unlocking.

Teasing Eddie about whatever he was looking at.

And then, being hit with something that Buck never imagined he would be. The prospect of Eddie leaving LA.

Of leaving him.

“I don’t — I’m not sure why I’m here,” Buck says, voice feeling tight with a fresh wave of tears. The first lot came when he was sitting on Eddie’s couch, when Eddie was no longer watching him and he allowed himself a moment not to pretend. They’re harder to swallow down this time. “I just got in my car and somehow ended up here.”

“That’s okay,” Maddie says, reaching out to put a hand on his arm, coaxing him inside. “I’m glad you came.”

She leads them to her couch, and Buck sits down, trying not to think about Eddie’s couch.

How many times has he sat there with Eddie? With Chris?

How many times has he slept there?

How many of Buck’s memories have been born on Eddie’s couch?

And now, he’s just spent an hour there on a call with a real estate agent, trying not to be anything but supportive as Eddie asked about different properties in fucking Texas.

Because how could he be?

Eddie misses Chris more than anything in the world.

He needs to be with him.

Buck understands, even if it feels like his own heart has been carved out of his chest.

“He wants to be with Chris,” Buck says, he’s not sure how long later. Time doesn’t feel like it’s moving quite like normal. “He’s looking at houses. I don’t understand why he doesn’t just fly there and bring him home. This is his home, Maddie, not Texas.”

“Buck…”

“I know, I’m not — I would never say this to him, don’t worry. I’ll let him go, even if it kills me. Even if I…”

The words get caught in his throat, and god, it’s love that’s strangling him right now, he knows it.

Another thing he can always associate with Eddie’s couch.

His eyes burn, and his chest feels cracked open, and it’s as Maddie’s pulling him in for a hug that he finally breaks. Tears hot on his cheeks, half-formed breaths shuddering out of him, his entire being — body and soul — aching with grief.

He’s always been an easy crier, always felt things too hard, too much, but he can’t recall the last time it felt this overwhelming.

Not when Tommy broke up with him.

Not when he was coming to terms with his own death — three minutes and seventeen seconds.

Not even when Maddie left, as much as it killed him.

It was probably when Eddie was shot. When Buck broke down in front of Chris.

Now, it’s Maddie who holds onto him as he sobs, murmuring soft words he can’t quite process as his body shakes with sorrow, as he tries to come to terms with the reality of yet another person he loves leaving him.

It’s minutes, or maybe hours, until he’s wrung dry, until the tears have stopped and his face feels tight and sticky and his heart continues its confused, worried beat within his chest: how will we go on?

Buck doesn’t know.

But he wipes at his eyes, and takes a slow breath, and this is what he does know:

He’s in love with Eddie.

And it’s because of that love, that he’ll let him go.

#buddie #buddie fic #911 fic #911 spoilers #my fics

38 notes · View notes

pleasantinternetperson · 5 hours ago

Text

In the end, he's always drawn back to her.

---

The aftermath of the battle is terrible.

There are bodies littered everywhere, glassy-eyed and unseeing.

And he is nos stranger to it, to the terrible presence of death, but it-

It still hurts.

---

Vi's screams will haunt him to his dying day.

Her grief is so raw and angry he has to look away, and the words that spill from her lips over and over as she clutches at the ledge are ones he has thought countless times.

It's not fair it's not fair IT'S NOT FAIR-

He knows what happened.

(She's-)

(How-)

(How can she be-)

(After everything-)

(Just like that?)

---

Ekko is the one who hauls Vi to safety before the beam collapses.

She's quiet. Numb, he thinks.

A part of him wants to stay with her.

But he can't. He can't stay here another second or he's sure he won't be able to take one more breath.

(She's really gone-?)

(Jinx?)

(...Powder?)

---

For the first time in his life, the undercity is quiet.

He doesn't even notice, not really, until much later.

He walks through the streets and sees everything Zaun could've been.

He sees Mylo and Claggor in the shadowed corners of their old haunts.

He sees Vi teaching him how to throw a punch in every crack of a wall.

He sees Benzo in the window of every run-down shop of wares.

He sees Vander in the wreckage of The Last Drop.

And everywhere, everywhere, he looks, he sees her.

---

He doesn't know how many times he stops her from detonating the bomb.

Her eyes look so empty.

And it breaks him inside that this girl who used to be so full of life wanted nothing more to do with it after the world took everything from her.

She has caused so much pain and suffering, has continued the cycle of violence by those left before them.

She's well within her rights to want to leave.

But he knows for a fact there's a life where things could be better.

There's a life out there where Zaun thrives because of her.

There's a life where she's happy.

And he'll be damned if he can't make that life a reality, no matter how many times he needs to turn back the clock.

She traces the edge of her bomb, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Just let me die."

He stands.

Her grip tightens.

"No."

She scoffs, though there's no real heat to it.

"Why do you care?"

Because he doesn't want this to be the end for her. Because he knows she can do so much more. Because even under all the anger and pain and grief that makes her now, there's still a chance for her to be that girl from another world.

Because he might just have fallen in love with her.

But most of all-

"Because you're worth saving."

---

He ends up making a mural for her in her workshop. There are many that pop up all over the undercity once the news gets around but...

This one is for him.

To remember her not as the tragic hero who managed to unite Zaun, but for his friend who died.

(He could've saved her.)

The Z-Drive looks up at him darkly whenever this thought comes over him, and his fingers twitch over the dials.

But he doesn't do it.

He sees Heimerdinger's face every time he does.

---

Vi comes to see the mural.

He lights flickering candles and has some of her leftover bits and bobs all over the place - a monkey head here and an old tool there.

He's drawn pictures of her from when they were young, from when they grew apart and puts on paper what he imagined she would've looked like older.

And tucked away in a small corner is the drawing of what she looked like in that other world.

That's the one that draws her sister's attention.

Vi's fingers ghost over the pencil lines, almost reverent.

"...I would've loved to see her like this."

Ekko sighs, not looking at her as he runs a hand through his hair.

His eyes land on a drawing of Powder and Vi, arms looped around each other, young and bright-eyed and joyous.

"Yeah. You would've."

---

Another part of him died with her, he thinks.

Because he knows that grief never really goes away.

It leaves him gasping for air at night and reaching for someone who isn't there when his own mind taunts him with all the what-ifs, and could've been.

Sometimes it leaves him with the memory of her lips pressing against his own, her fingers on the side his face gently.

He hates those ones most.

---

(But really, he'd give anything for the chance to do it again.)

---

What gets to him the most is that he could've saved everybody.

If he had been smarter, of he had figured out faster none of this would've happened.

And the thought crashes into him so hard and fast sometimes, and leaves him with a rage that makes him want to hit anything in sight it makes him sick to his stomach he almost destroys her mural.

He yells and screams and grieves for everyone he's lost, this boy saviour who took the world upon his shoulders.

And at the last second, just as he has his weapon ready to ruin everything, realization rushes through him and he falls to his knees.

She looks at him through the drawings, frozen and smiling.

Finally, he sobs.

I could've saved you.

---

It gets better. Eventually.

He helps with clean-up efforts in the undercity, travels up topside on occasion when Vi needs a hand with something, but sticks to himself for the most part.

While he's helping clear another fallen building a pair of kids bump into him. They're young, and only laugh for a second at their mishap before rushing off again.

He hopes they can live like that for the rest of their childhood.

He wants to make sure they can.

---

It takes a while before he goes up to the rooftop. Their rooftop.

When the grief isn't a raging, alive thing inside his chest anymore and settles deep inside of him instead.

He takes a seat in the edge, and lets his leg dangle in the air.

He breathes in.

(I could've saved you.)

It's recurring thought, now. Always in the back of his mind.

(I could've saved you.)

In another world, there was a happy ending. He hopes.

In another world, there isn't years of resentment and death and violence between them.

In another world he takes her to a party where they dance their hearts out and have the time of their lives.

In another world, they are sitting up here, and he kisses her first.

(I could've saved you.)

Ekko breathes out.

He lets the thought go.

(I'm sorry I couldn't save you.)

(I wanted to.)

(I really did.)

He hopes that wherever she is now she's happy. Or simply at peace, and able to rest from the life she's had.

And something in him feels a little bit lighter.

---

Later, when he gets back to the workshop, something catches his eye near the mural.

A piece of paper, gently blowing in the wind, trapped under a rock.

It's curiosity, more than anything, that leads him to pick it up. It seems too deliberately placed.

Unfolding it, Ekko keeps an eye on his surroundings in case this is somebody's idea of a trap, one hand around his weapon.

Then his heart drops.

It's a map.

And there are bright, colourful lines, squiggles, doodles-

A marked 'X' not too far beyond Piltover, and a message written beside it in haphazard fashion.

(It-)

(It can't-)

(She's-)

(Is she-?)

(Jinx-)

(...Powder?)

You gonna pay me a visit, boy saviour?

#timebomb #arcane #ekko #jinx #vi #guys i literally cant theyre driving me INSANE #WTF WAS EPISODE SEVEN #FLIPPING AU MATERIAL FOR YEARS TO COME #anyways ill never shut uo about these two #we won but at what cost

25 notes · View notes

scar-lie · 2 days ago

Text

Crazy Love Pt. 3 Ver. 1 {Natasha}

Summary : Natasha finally have the love of her life

Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Fem ! Reader

Warning : Nightmare, sad/depress Natasha, happy ending, death

Word count : 7,657

Crazy Love Pt. 1

Crazy Love Pt. 2

Crazy Love Pt. 3 Ver. 2

Cherrylemontober

NO one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

It's been half and a month since they found her dead in her house, a whole half and a month didn't do well for the team

After your funeral Tony, buried his himself in the lab and drink alcohol, the only thing he can get out in the office is when he needs to go back to his and Pepper bedroom, and Pepper sometimes try to at least get some fresh air with him, but Pepper is having a hard time moving on, in your tragic death but she stay strong not just for herself and Tony but for the other Avengers too

Bruce always outside in the middle of the forest so if he turn into Hulk, he will hurt no one, plus the forest reminds him of you, you loved animals, well except spiders and you loved the fresh air and water in the forest

Bucky go back to Wakanda, he can't bare to stay in the compound even a day after your funeral, the compound just reminded him of you, whatever she look in any parts of the compound, so he go back to Wakanda

Sam burying himself by running over and over again, then he will go to you both favorite coffee shop, sitting in your spot and ordering your favorite coffee or tea, even if he didn't like the taste of it, he still drinking it

Clint, he always with his family cause this reminds him of you, specially with Nathaniel, you always play with him and he always in your arms, you spend most of your time with Nathaniel is because you always teasing Nat that it's Nathaniel, not Natasha and you don't have to get up and play with a toddlers, you will just sit and have him in your arm but you love Clints kids so much

Thor, he's in Asgard, once they found you, Thor quickly go back in Asgard and just comeback to your funeral to say goodbye for the last time and go back to Asgard, remembering how you're so amaze when you first go in the Asgard, well Thor didn't get tired seeing you like that every time you visit Asgard, you never get over how beautiful Asgard is

Rhody, He spend his time in the military and constantly checking the Avengers, specially Tony, cause he knows that he's over working and drinking a lot, he manage to visit you tho, yesterday when he got the chance, it hurts him but he's slowly learning to accept the bitter truth

Vision, well he's still Vision but he got more quiet and stay by Wanda's side all the time, comforting her and reassuring her

Wanda, she spend most of her time in her room, crying, mourning of your death, she still cooking but not as delicious as before, considering that all she feels is sorrow, there's no joy in her body so the foods she's making, making it a little bitter, plus it remind her too the times when you two cooking

Steve, he's been uneasy, sure he's mourning in your death but he can't lour himself of your death, knowing that saving people doesn't have a break and he stay strong for Nat, even if it's breaking him, he still reminds strong

And Natasha, to all of them, Natasha is the one who have a most impact to all of them, she move out of Steve bedroom and go back to hers which is besides your bedroom and she’s isolate herself in her bedroom, she didn't dare to take a step out of her room since after your funeral

She only eat 1 times a day but mostly she didn’t eat anything, and she mostly eat is junk foods, every day and night she cry herself to sleep, blaming herself and feeling guilty that she didn't saved you, she didn't protect you while you always protecting and saving her no matter what the circumstances

She just lay in her bed spending all day and night there, she just stand up when she needs to go to the bathroom and take the food the Steve leaving in her door, her life is fall apart, for her there's no point of living when half of her already dead, when the one person, the only reason she keeps fighting, having hopes, making her happy and guiding her in a right direction are already gone

But she can't bring herself to kill herself, cause she knows you will never want it and she don't want to waste your effort, the sweat, and blood you lost just to make sure she's safe, protected and alive

Her world turned to dark grey with storm, she's losing hope now, the only think it makes her to go on in life is The Avengers, Yelena, Melina and Alexie, she can't just disappear knowing you just leave them all

And now here she is again, crying in her bed with the pillow you always used when you spend time with her in her room, you always in her room tho, and she's laying in your side of her bed when you will sleep in her room

"I miss you" she mumbled burying her face in the pillow, smelling your scent that left in the pillow that is now slowly fading, until she fall asleep again, remembering the worst day of her life

She wake up with a smile on her face, she just had a dreamed of you last night, a good one that she thinks it was real

-THE DREAM

Natasha wake up with the sounds of birds chirping and the sound of water running and falling, she open her eyes and cover the sun that was hitting in her eyes

Natasha frown when she wake up in a different room, it was all wood, the chairs with a pillow, book shelf, night stand, the bed and it's look like a rooms in one of the resort in the forest but this is more comfortable and more relaxing

Then she frown more when she see a beautiful Paradise outside the window, there's a waterfalls, tress, flowers, and fruits are around her, animals scattered doing there own business and having fun, the sun was hitting the water that makes it sparkle, big or small rocks form into a beautiful places and the cold and fresh air hitting her whole body

"Where am I?" Natasha mumbled to herself and stand up, and start to go out

She looks around, scanning the place while taking a step forward, mesmerized at how beautiful the place is. She found herself in peace and for once in a half of the month she feels safe, protected, relaxed, free and happy? she feel a little bit happy

Natasha take a deep breath with close eyes, this is the first she felt this, since Y/N change to a crazy person and it felt forever for her, she missed this feeling, like she's in your arms and nothing matters only you and your comfort that matters to her

But that stop instantly, getting alert and ready to kill someone when she heard someone humming a song, it was a relaxing one but she could never trust it even if it's relaxing her

She look around and grab a branch with a sharp edge, then she start to look for the person who held a beautiful humming voice, she's stepping in the ground carefully, making sure she will not gonna make any noise

Until she come close to the waterfalls and she see a girl who have a Y/H/C hair with a basket with some fruits and the animals surrounded her, the girl is sitting in a plain white blanket besides her is her basket and she's wearing a beautiful white dress with some details, she also have a white handkerchief tied in her head that compliment her wavy Y/H/C hair then she have a white flower resting in her lap

(The outfit but no sandals)

(Like this, I can't find a good one with the front showing so we will stick to this one)

(The hair, white handkerchief and the flowers)

-NATASHA

I frown at it, then the girl started to laugh with the animals around her, she's like talking to them but as soon as I recognized the laugh I froze on my spot that the branch I was holding is back in the ground again

Then she look on her left side to look at the squirrel and I see her half smile face, and it's her, Y/N, my heart beats faster, my knees are getting weak but I still manage to stand still, and my eyes are getting watery

I can't believe of what am I seeing, Y/N is in front of me, just a few steps from me and she's happy, have a sweet cheeky smile on her face, my Y/N who's like a child for the small things she loves

I missed this, her smile, her face, her eyes that sparkle with so much joy, her cheek specially when she's blushing in my remarks and small things, and.....and-gosh I just missed her so much

"Natty?" I bring out of my trance when I heard her voice again and my eyes snap at her beautiful Y/E/C ones that held so much passion and joy and she stand up and starting to walk towards me with her basket

"Finally you're awake, sorry I wasn't there when you wake up, I just get us some frui-" she stop when she got closer to me and notice the tears slip out of my eyes that I didn't know

"Are you crying?" then she cup my face and her thumb brush over my cheeks, wiping my tears

"Why are you crying my Natty?" then she pout with eyebrows connected to each other

But this just bring me to more tears, this is real I can feel her, her hand, the warm of her hands, I can hear her, and she's here in front of me, I missed this so much

All I can do is sob, bringing her in a tight hug, I hug her as tight as I can, afraid she will leave me again, and I don't want that to happen, now that she's in my arms again

"You're here, you're here, this is true you're here........oh my god!" I sob, burying my face in her neck and cry there, while her hands goes to my back and head

Her hands running up and down in my head and back calming me down while she keeps kissing my head and reassure me that she's here with me, in my arms

"Shh..... Natty stop crying, your gonna make me cry too" she whisper and I push my head off of her just to look at her gorgeous face

I chuckled when I see her puppy eyes, frown lips and eyebrows like she's nearly crying, I wipe my tears while chuckling and kiss her cheeks that makes her blush, that I missed and love the most

“I’ll stop crying” I whisper and sniff, look at the side and wipe my tears and look at her again with a smile on my face, one that reach on my eyes and full of joy

“There’s my favorite smile” Y/N said with a smile and a blush on her face

This is the only chance to have a full view of her, what she’s wearing and how beautiful she is, I sigh and look down to her while stepping one backward to look at her from head to toe

She get what I’m doing, so she give me a spin for me to have a better look on her and she look magnificent and this makes me in tears again, so I bite my lower lips to prevent my sobs and to try not to fall down my tears

She’s wearing this beautiful white dress with a details and the handkerchief in her head that I give to her, this is the last gift I give to her, I love spoiling her with gift and this, this dress is the last gift I give to her

And this is the first time I see her wear this, well she didn’t wear this since I give it to her since I’m so busy going out with Steve, having date nights and just spending time with him

This is the dress I want to see her wear cause i know she will look magnificent, I remember when I was out with Steve and we come across to a shop and see this beautiful dress, I quickly pull Steve inside the shop and I buy this for Y/N and I don’t care if Steve teasing me of how so soft I am to Y/N

Even if he’s my boyfriend, I still build some boundaries and a little walls but with Y/n I let all my guard and walls down and be vulnerable in front of her

“So how do I look?” she asked, bringing me out of my trace and I smile at her then a single tears slip out of my eyes so I quickly wipe it off

"Magnificent………..you look magnificent as always” I said softly then she lightly jump and squeal of happiness, I chuckled at it then I noticed something

I frown at it, her feet is bare, she’s not wearing any slippers, shoes or anything to cover her foot from the dirt or possible spinlers in the ground and I don’t like the idea of it and seeing her bare foot in the ground it set something off of me

“Here wear this” I said and give her my slippers and she stop jumping around and look at me down since I already in my knees waiting for her to wear my slippers with my help

I look up when she didn’t move her feet and I see her blushing more and she cover her face with her hands, i chuckled at it and stand up, taking her face off of her face that makes her whine

“You’re cute when you’re blushing” I tease and she slap my arms playfully with a groan, I chuckled at it and soon after she chuckled too

“But I love it” I add and kneel my one knee again and take her right foot and slip my slippers on it and I did to her left one too

After that I stand up, brushing the dust off of me knee, stand beside her, taking the basket on her hand and put my other free arm over her shoulders

“So, what did you get? And where have you been?” I asked her and we start to go inside the house again

“Fruits and other ingredients” she said ignoring my other question but i just shrug it off

Once we’re in the house she quickly pull me in the kitchen, making me sit in one of the stool and she go in front of the stove and put her apron on

“Just stay still there, I’m gonna make you the delicious breakfast you will ever taste” and she smirk with a wink and ‘tsk’ making me laugh a little

With that she start to cook but not before she put some music on, with that there’s a good ambiance and she’s starting to dance and sing with the song while cooking

I’m giggling and watching her doing her thing, this is the one I always admire to her, and I will never get tired of seeing this and I will do anything to see this again and to see her

After she cook we eat in a delicious breakfast and full of laughter and now here we are in the fall

“Natty come on” Y/N shout and pull me closer until my feet is in the water

I look in my front and I see the fall sparkling and making a calming sounds, this place is beautiful and when I look at Y/N she’s already in her bra and underwear, putting her clothes where they will never get wet

“Come on, Natty, you stings so…let’s swim” she then whisk a water in my face

I heard her giggle while I wipe my face and then she splash a water in my face then splash a water on me wetting my shirt and shorts, I gasped at it but she laugh and swim away from me

“Oh you wanna play that game, you better be ready!” I shout stripping and leaving me in my underwear and bra, I throw my clothes beside her and swim where she was

When I was near at her she go down so I stop and look around, getting more aware in my surroundings but then I got pull down making me yelp

When I open my eyes under the water I see Y/N smiling and she go up so I follow her, I gasped for air when my head is finally out of the water and I heard an angelic giggle and laugh that was coming out of Y/N mouth

I look at her and giggle at how she act so I splash a water to her, making her stop

“I’ll get you back” I threaten and she just shrug and swim away from me

“See if you can catch me!” she shout

This goes on for a few minutes, just us playing around the fall until I finally catch her and hold her waist

“Gotcha” I whisper making her startle and I start to tickle her making both of us sink down

After that we go back in the ground and sit in the rock and she start to hum a song again, one by one the animals starting to surround us, the squirrel even so to her lap, looking up at her, I smile at it and close my eyes and relax at her beautiful humming voice

————————————————————————————

-NO ONE’S POV

When Nat open her eyes again, she’s back in her room in the compound again, once she recognize her ceiling she quickly shot up and look around, looking for you, she got panic when she see you nowhere

“Natty are you ok?” Natasha heard a soft voice that she loves the most and she quickly snap her head where the voice is and she see you at the door the only person she wants

“Oh my god, I thought you leave me again” Natasha quickly jump out of her bed and run to the girl she loves and missed the most, Y/N

Then she quickly put you in a tight hug, afraid you will disappear if she didn’t held you enough, and she don’t want that to happen and go back to her routine which is bed and crying til she fall asleep

“Please, promise me you’re not gonna leave me again …….. You will stay, right?” natasha asked with tears streaming down her face

She stare straight through the Y/H/C head woman eyes in front f her white she cup her face, her eyes are begging for Y/N to said yes

“I’m not leaving you silly, plus I’m always right there…….” then she poke natasha’s heart with a smile

“In your heart” then she look up to Natasha with her bright smile

For Natasha that was an enough answer as long as she know Y/N will never leave her again, that all matters to her, to have Y/n back in her arms again

And this time she promises and make her mission to protect and save Y/n in any situation and any harm, she will do everything for her to make Y/n stay

“Thank you” Natasha whisper and kissed Y/N’s forehead

Then Natasha pull Y/n in her bed making Y/N to sit in her bed, then she put the covers in y/n’s lap, grab the remote, getting in the bed too behind Y/N

Now Y/N is between her legs and she pull her to lean her back in her front, then she quickly wrapped her arms in Y/N’s waist and open the TV

“What movie?” Natasha asked going to the Netflix

“You choose” Y/N whisper getting comfortable

Natasha smile at it and put Y/N’s favorite romance movie, even if she don’t like it, she still watch it cause Y/N loves it and by the time being, she learn to like the romance movies too

With that they watch in silence, just savoring this moment, the moment that Natasha have been craving for, and missed, she then rub her thumb in Y/N’s stomach, knowing this makes the Y/H/C head girl relax

Until half in the movie, natasha’s hand goes to Y/N’s hair and start to comb it, then she reach to the drawer of her nightstand and get out an elastic and comb

Then she start to comb Y/N’s hair that makes the Y/H/C girl hum in satisfaction

After Natasha comb her hair, she start to section Y/N’s hair into two to make a double french braid

“Stay still, потница” Natasha mumbled and y/N just nod, letting Natasha braid her hair with a humming song of a Russian song that Y/N loves

“And done” Natasha whisper after she finished and she give Y/N a mirror, but she didn’t take it and look at Natasha with a smile

“I don’t need a mirror, I know I look good whenever you do my hair” Y/N said with a cheeky smile and Natasha hug her

“You always look good even in your morning hair, you’re gorgeous потница” She whisper and Y/n giggle at it until Y/N stomach grumbled making the red head look down on her stomach and Y/N look away while whistling

“You’re hungry” Natasha tease and Y/n just whine

She get out of bed and pull Natasha with her, then they both slip their slippers on and then Y/n’s stomach grumbled again and this makes Y/N whine but Natasha chuckled to it

“Come on, let’s eat breakfast, I’m starving” Y/N said with her cheeky smile and Natasha chuckled at it

Y/N always hungry so Natasha always making foods, only the one she knows to cook, like fried foods, toast bread and of course her favorite, peanut butter sandwich that Y/L loves too, and if y/n get tired of her fried foods, they will go out to buy foods

“Come on, I’ll make you a breakfast” And Nat hold her hand and they go out of her room down to the kitchen, but they just take a few steps Y/N whine

“What?” Natasha asked worried

“Don’t be mad but…..” Y/N bite her lower lips

“I’m not gonna get mad, what is it?” Natasha clearly concern and worried for the woman in front of her

“I’m just….uhm my stomach don’t want some fried foods of yours” Y/N mumbled looking down in her slippers, which is natasha slippers you stole from her 2 years ago, this makes Natasha chuckled and make you look up at her

“Don’t worry, I’ll cook other food, and I know you’re not sick but I know how to cook soup, you want that? And maybe I can make both of us a peanut butter sandwich?” Natasha said egear to cook for her favorite girl and person in this world,

This makes Y/N squeal from happiness, whatever Natasha learn something new from cooking she always gets so excited to taste it, knowing Natasha will allow only you to taste it first, and Natasha loves to learn new recipe for you to eat

“Yes, yes yes yes…..now come on, I want to taste that soup of yours” Y/n quickly drag Natasha to the kitchen and this makes Natasha chuckled

Once they got in the kitchen Natasha quickly but gently pick Y/N up and rest her in the counter beside the stove and Natasha quickly get all the ingredients she needs

Natasha can't let to take the risk of you getting out of her sight, she can't take the risk cor you to just fade away when she take her eyes off of you

“Mmmhh it smells good, I can’t wait to taste it” you said rubbing your hands together and swinging your feet, this makes Natasha smile

“Just wait…” she smile at you so you both go on in a good conversation, like you always used too while she’s cooking the breakfast

She set things up and go back to you and pick you up again and place you down in the bar stool and sit across to you

“Mmmhh yummy” you said eager to taste the food she cook for you, Natasha smile

“Go on taste it” you smile widely and take a spoonful of the soup

You will eat it without blowing it so Natasha quickly stop you, cause she knows you will burn yourself if you just take that spoonful of a newly cooked soup

“Woah, woah woah slow down, blow it first, it’s still hot, you will burn yourself” Then Natasha lean in and began blowing the soup in the spoon while you giggle in embarrassment

“Sorry” you mumbled and bite you lips

After Natasha blow it and make sure it’s not that hot she lean back with a smile looking at you with loving eyes

“Nothing to be sorry, Y/N/N, there you can eat it” your eyes lit up and you quickly take the spoon in your mouth

“Mmhhh” you hum with close eyes and slum back down in your seat, savoring the delicious soup

“Yummy” you said when you the soup is already down in your stomach and you lean in again and start eating the soup

This makes Natasha giggle and start eating with you, for the first time since you dead this is the happies, relaxing breakfast she have

The have a good conversation, remembering the old time and telling the hilarious scenarios in their life while only natasha and y/N just listening to her, but mostly Y/n is the who always tell stories while Natasha is listening but now, Natasha is the one who’s telling stories and y/N just listening and laughing with Natasha

“And oh I remember when you just trip after you defend a lady in the park with 5 boys, that’s hilarious, you look badass walking away then suddenly you trip” Natasha said between laughter

What she didn’t know that Avengers with Pepper and Clint’s family just got in the living room, they agree last night that they should help one another to get through this and mostly help Natasha, knowing is is the most damage one

“Is that Natasha right?” Sam asked frowning, when they all heard her laughing, this is the first time they heard Natasha laugh loudly like she’s the only one in the world

“Ye-yeah, I guess” Wanda said, she clearly still have a red puffy eyes and a big eye bags under eyes

“Why is Lady Natasha laughing?” Thor asked and bring her Mjolnir in the corner

“There’s only one why to find out” Tony said and they all go to the kitchen

“And oh Y/N/N maybe we can visit Lene, she missed you too” Natasha said and this makes all the Avenger froze in their spot, looking at one another

“She probably will be ha-” Natasha cut off by Bucky

“Ah Nat, who are you talking with?” Bucky asked and Natasha look back since she’s facing her back to them, and they see a big smile plaster on Natasha’s face, the one they never seen before

“Oh Hi guys, come on Y/N is here, I know you all missed her too” Natasha said and stand up to go to them

All of them have a question look, at this point they got more worried to her cause they see no one besides Natasha, the soup in front of Natasha is untouched, the spoon besides the hot soup is still laying down neatly, the peanut butter sandwich is still laying down in the left side, without a bite, only Natasha’s foods is the one who's not untouch

“Uhm, Nat is dead” Bruce bring the news that Natasha forgot since the dream happened

This makes Natasha stop in her track, she just take a step when she stop and she frown looking at them

“Wha-what…?” she asked chuckling not believing what Bruce said

“Y/N dyed half and a mont-” she quickly cut Pepper in her sentence

“I head what Bruce said” she snap, getting angry

“She’s not dead! I just talked seconds ago to her!” she yell in angry looking all of them with confusion

Laura quickly take the kids away from the kitchen so they didn’t hear or witness Natasha’s sorrow, this kill Laura and she don’t want that to witness so so they get out of the compound and go to the nearest park

“What are you saying? She’s not dead” The Avenger sigh and look at one another, breaking at what Natasha’s saying

“Nat Y/N dyed, Half and a month ago, she took her own life” Rhody softly said

“We see her hanging in her bedroom ceiling, you and Wanda first saw it, remember?” Steve softly said and go to natasha slowly

“I told you I just talked to her, look she’s right th-” Natasha stop when she point where she see you, and when she look at it, you’re already gone

“There” she whisper confused, and tears starting to whelm up of your her eyes

“Nat, st-” Tony said but natasha didn’t dare to listen

“She’s just here, I’m just talking to her, laughing even” then she go to your seat and touch it and it was a cold seat

“Nat, she’s dead” Wanda said

Natasha’s tears starting to fall down, one first follow by one again until numerous tears are falling

“No, no no no no no no no no no, yo-you’re lying” she said looking at the food she made for you and it was untouched

“Nat we’re not lying, you saw her dead, we ev-” she cut Tony off

“SHE’S HERE, IN MY SIDE, I EVEN TOUCH HER, WE TALK, EAT, AND I CAN FEEL HER IN MY ARM, I-I…..I EVEN…..-” Natasha sob shout getting weaker, that she just wake up to a reality

“We even buried her Lady Natasha” Thor said softly and this makes natasha go weaker, collapsing in the ground and thankfully Steve quickly catch her

“No, no no no no no, you-you’re……..you-you’re just lying” Natasha keep mumbling that sentence over and over again while sobbing

Steve bring her to a hug and Natasha try to get him off of her but Steve didn’t budge it and continue to hug Natasha even if she’s punching her

“AAAAHHHHHH NO NO NOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOO” Natasha scream out, it was agonizing, the pain and sorrow, it’s like she just seen you hanging in your bedroom ceiling just a few minutes ago

And all of the Avenger look away from Natasha, crying too, this makes even harder for all of them, seeing Natasha like this, killing them over and over again

“Natash-” She cut Steve off and push him away

“NO, YOU’RE LYING, SHE’S ALIVE. Sh-she’s alive, I touch her, I even braid her hair…..sh-she’s alive, you-you all ju-just……. Just lying” She back away from them until she stop

“She’s dead nat” Clint said, in the whole ordeal, he spoke with seriousness and pain, then he step closer to Natasha

“Don’t you fucking said that Clint, I told you she’s just here, I see her, believe me” Natasha said through sobs

“Nat-” Clint whisper and the Avengers just looking everywhere that’s but Natasha, they can’t bare to see natasha like this

“No, don’t you dare sa-” she cut off by Clint grabbing her arm and harshly shook her a bit and grip her arm tightly

“She’s dead Nat, she killed herself” Clit said harshly, he hates doing this but he have too as long as his best friend wake up to her illusions

“No, no no no no” Natasha whisper looking at Clint’s eyes, who also crying

“Accept it, what you see is just an illusion Nat, Y/N is dead!” with that Natasha didn’t fight and let her body weight on Clint, that he catch and bring Natasha in a tight needed hug

Natasha just cry there, she feel like someone pour a bucket full off ice on her, but the feeling and the truth is killing her, this is more painful than the torture she went through before

And she don’t want this to feel, she’s so tired of it, she’s so tired of mourning and the pain is unbearable, she just want this to stop

This went on for a few days that turn into a weeks and months, Natasha lost her mind and getting crazier by the time being, she keeps seeing Y/N everywhere and this drives her crazy

She also killed someone, when she get out of the compound cause she see Y/N outside, she just follow Y/N until someone disrespect her

And this bring back everything and when the night comes she killed the guy like what Y/N killed the previous guy who disrespect her

This go on for one to two, then three until numerous guy killed by Natasha, she continue what Y/N started

Until One night she dream of Y/n again, like the other nights, but this one is different, this is not just only making memories

-THE DREAM

She wake up again in the beautiful paradise but this one is different, instead of a fall it was a clean lake, instead of a house it’s just a blanket with pillows

The place is beautiful, this more brighter and calmer, trees everywhere, birds chirping around, butterflies and other animals are here, and the water are sparkling by the sun hitting the water

She feel at peace here and all her worries and pain are gone here, she feels like she’s in heaven

“Gladly you’re awake, talia” a soft voice ring in her ear so she quickly snap her head to see the Y/H/C head girl

“Потница” Y/n smile at her and sit besides her, Natasha got mesmerized by your beauty, you are wearing a white dress with gold details

(Your outfit)

“Welcome to my paradise, my love” Y/n said looking around but Natasha eyes is on you

“You look magnificent as always, потница” you smile at her and thank her for that

“Finally catch up on you” Natasha said and will gonna hug Y/N but she just went through her

“Wha-what?” she frown confused and she try to hug you but she went through you again

“Y/N?” she look at you waiting for an answer

“Oh my love, I’m sorry but you can’t touch me” Y/N said softly and give natasha a small smile

“Why? I can touch you before” Natasha said and try to touch you but she can’t

“You know what, let’s explore my home, shall we?” Y/N stand and wait for Natasha so she stand up too

“Ok, whatever you want, потница” Y/N smile at it

“Follow me” and they start to go around, Y/N showing Natasha her favorite part of her home, and telling her what she have done to them

She tell stories and have a good memories, but behind all of this is a message for Nat to have, that Y/N want to tell her

Until it’s time for Nat to wake up, in the reality where no Y/N, where the pain and sorrow will come back

“Nat it’s time” Y/N said softly stopping by the lake and look down in the clear water who have their reflection

“Time for what?” Natasha asked and look down in the water too and have eye contact to Y/N

“For you to wake up” The she face Natasha, this make Natasha eyes water

“Wake up?” Natasha asked looking at her with confusion

“Yes, wake up to reality” Natasha just look at her to Y/N smile softly at her

“This is just a dream, my love I’m not real” Natasha’s tears starting to fall, even if you want to wipe it, you can’t

“No no no no, you’re real………you are real” Natasha sob at it trying to hold you but she can’t

“No, my love, this is just a dream, this is my home now and you have to wake up, you can’t stay here” you said softly

“I don’t want to wake up, it hurts there, and I don't want to feel it anymore, please………please I don’t want to wake up, please” Natasha plead but you shook your head and take a deep breath and with a flick of your fingers you cup her face and wipe her tears

“Look Talia, I’m not here to distract you from reality, I’m here to make you realized something, the Y/n you keep seeing is not me, the y/n keeps appearing in your dreams is not me, it’s just your illusion” Y/N said softly rubbing her thumb on Natasha’s cheek and wipe her tears

“Wh-what?” Natasha look at her confused

“Look, I know what I did back in earth is wrong, and my brain eat me, poison me and be a crazy person bu-” Natasha cut you off

“No you just did that because you love me and I know you didn’t mean it” she said and Y/N smile at her and Nod

“Yes, I didn’t mean it bu-” again she cut you off

“And because of me you did those and and because of you you took your own life, this is my fau-” you quickly cut her off

“No, Natasha, this is no ones fault ok, it’s my decision to killed myself cause, I know I can’t stop myself of killing people” Y/n take a deep breath

“Look, I saw myself to you because I want you to wake up from the reality where I’m no longer there, and I want you to keep going on your life and live happy with Steve, have yi=our own family, I know you can’t pregnant but I now Tony and Bruce will fixed that but that’s not the point….” Natasha look in your eyes sowas you to hers

“I want you to stop, what you’re doing is wrong, stop continuing what I started, you’re not that person Talia, you are a hero not the Villain” you said softly

“Maybe I already became one……look if you’re not there, I will lose my mind, i can’t live another second without you so please I don't want to wake up, please” Natasha sob pleading and she hug you tightly

The comfort she’s looking for is now here, she’s getting it, the real comfort not the comfort that her illusion making

“Please, please I don’t want to wake up” Natasha plead burying her face in your neck and you rub her back up and down

“But if you don’t wake up, you will die, and think of the people down there, the Avengers, Wanda who is counting on you, having hopes that you will go back to your normal self, Steve who loves you the most with all of his heart, Lena who still needs a sister, your love, Melina and Alexie who still wants to see you and make it up to the years of pain they cause, they still needs you down there Nat, so you need to wake up” you said softly but she shook her head and pull away

“No, it’s unfair” she sob looking at you

“It’s unfair, Y/N cause Wanda need you too, so was Lena, Steve, Tony and all of us, especially me, I need you but you just left us” Natasha broke of her voice

“I know but it’s for the best but you, the world still needs you” You said softly

“Please, I don’t want to go back there, I have already done enough, I always put everyone before me….please at once I wanna be selfish…..” natasha soc holding your hand firmly

“For once I wanna put myself first, I wanna be selfish, I wanna stay here with you…..cause if I go back there knowing you will not gonna be there, I can’t go on life, I can’t save a life and it will drive me crazy so please…….” then she cup your face and kiss your forehead then rest her forehead to yours

“I want to be selfish and stay here with you, please” she said softly

At that moment you know you can’t change Natasha’s mind, what every pursue ow whatever you say, she will stick of inseasting to stay here in your home, in your paradise

Cause you know she’s a stubborn one but you love it, so you sigh, holding her wrist and rub your thumb at it and nod, leaning in on her comfort you missed too

“Ok” you whisper and she sob bringing you in a tight hug

“Thank you, thank you” you smile at her and hug her too

————————————————————————————

Meanwhile in the compound, the team are losing hope, they can’t help Natasha and it makes them frustrated especially Wanda, Steve and Lena

“I’ll go check on Nat” Lena offer and they all hum at it so all hum in agreement and lena go to her sister’s room

“Nat?” she whisper and enter her room, she see a peaceful Natasha laying in her bed

Lena frown and got happy cause for the first time of 8 months this is the only times she see her sister peaceful

“Nat?” she said softly and shook her but the redhead assassin didn’t wake up which is unusual cause she always wake up even if you just open her door

“Nat” lena panic and shook natasha violently but the redhead still didn’t wake up

Lena try for a few times but it still didn;t wake her up and this broke Lena, sobbing in her sister’s body and she put her two fingers in her pulse in the neck and she felt nothing

“Natasha” Lena whisper and sob knowing her sister already passed away

“FRIDAY tell everybody to come up here

“Yes, ms. Belova” with that FRIDAY tell everybody to go to Natasha’s room

At that time Lena broke the news and they all broke down especially Wanda and Steve, this isn’t easy for them, first you tragic death and now Natasha’s tragic death too

————————————————————————————

The last moment of Natasha, her funeral, everyone is wearing all black mourning of Natasha’s death, Doctor Cho announce that she died of cardiac arrests

In the rainy day, everyone have an umbrella and in front of Natasha’s casket and slowly putting down in the hole

They will buried her body next to your, her death is uneasy too but they accept it, knowing that she’s know with you, that Natasha always wanted since you dead

They know that it’s hard to move on knowing that still didn’t move on on your death and now Natasha but they know they will accept the truth someday and move on and be happy

“ Я знаю, что ты теперь с Т/И/И, и я знаю, что вы оба теперь счастливы, Т/И/и, пожалуйста, позаботься о моей сестре, Ты тоже Нат, присмотри за Т/И/И” (I know you're both happy now Y/N/N please take care of my sister, You too Nat, look after Y/N/N) Lena said with a smile

“I always will люблю вас обоих” (Love you both) Natasha whisper and throw a white roses

“I am happy and will look after her, I will always love you too сестра” Natasha said from above

You and Natasha watching everyone from your now both home up, Natasha feel bad for leaving them but she didn’t regret it, she knows that she will just make a bad decision and do something wrong if she go back to earth

“I will don’t worry Lena, I always love you too” Y/N said with a smile, she understand and speak Russian too, Yelena and Natasha teach her

“Let’s go?” Natasha asked and stand up taking the dirt off of her dress and offer her hand to Y/N, that she gladly take and Natasha pull Y/N up

(Natasha’s outfit)

(Natasha’s hair)

“Let’s go” Y/N said and Natasha help Y/N take the dirt off of her dress, Y/N still wear the same dress tho

(Yout outfit)

(Your hair)

(And you both didn’t wear anything to cover your feet, you both just go aroun bare feet)

With That you walk away hand in hand and happy to be with each other’s arm again

This is what happiness and a life you both wanted, a peaceful yet you both are together like a love birds, that whenever the one leave, they always come back, when one love birds die, the one will follow soon

And you both are happy that this is the ending you both have, you might have a traumatic pass, have a worst life in earth but at least you both do everything to have purpose in life and didn’t let your past affect your presents

And how here you both are happy with your new lives so was the people who loves you both in earth, they are happy that you both are now in peace, they know that someday you all will reunite, in the afterlife

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanova #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #black widow 2021 #natalia romanova #natasha x you #marvel black widow #natalia alianovna romanova #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha and yelena #natasha deserved better #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanov #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romonova

25 notes · View notes

angelic-iam · 21 hours ago

Text

Stroke Of Luck Chapter One

Warnings: Profanity, angst, adult themes and conversations, hints at infertility, infidelity, death , light violence

A/N: Please excuse any grammatical errors I tried to go through it as best I could .second bear with me if its not up to reading standard im trying to jump back into my writing bag and this will be my first story I've actually released so I might be a bit rusty lol but please enjoy

Word count: 4273

Series Master List

I sat on the front porch of my family home trying to hold it together as I watched my father put the last of jordans bags into the car .Today was the day I had been dreading the most my older brother Jordan was going away again on deployment .He had told us months ago about his decision to reenlist and I had been preparing myself for his departure hoping it would put me at ease. It didn't. My brother is one of my best friends and to see him leave was going to leave me with a void. Even through my dismay however I was proud of him even if in this moment my emotions didn't allow for me to show it.It didn't take long before the empty space beside me was filled with a familiar face. I turned to see Jordan, his face filled with sadness. Respecting the space I was in he allowed for us to sit in silence a moment before deciding to break it. “you okay?” he asked concern laced in his voice. I shook my head “not really," I replied softly, trying to avoid eye contact knowing I would cry. He sighed pulling me into his side as the tears began to prick my eyes.” I promise this time will fly by so fast you won't even realize” he said kissing my forehead .”No jo I will notice it will not be the same without you. who else will keep me sane dealing with ma and jade you're the only thing holding us together “ I croaked “ Theres always facetime if that doesn't work then we write, and if that don't work I'll send a pigeon” he joked Not being able to it in hold in a laughed spilled from my lips Jordan joining in seconds later “Jo it's time to hit the road” our fathers voiced called out .Jordan nodded his head signaling for my dad to give him a moment. Jordan stood pulling me up with him into a hug me, nuzzling my face into his chest feeling the water works starting back up. “I love you so much josie” he said wiping a stray tear that slipped free “I love you more jo” I said turning him loose. “Oh, and sis do me one last favor” he said walking down the porch steps “name it” I called out “smile no more tears”. I cracked a small smile as he turned making his way to the car climbing in leaving me in a broken mess as I watch my dad's chevy Tahoe disappear down the road.

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

In the same spot I stood five years later staring down the same dirt road my brother wouldn't have the opportunity of returning to. He was gone. Jordan was sent in on a rescue mission to save a fellow marine of his platoon, ironic in the end he ended up being the one needing saving. Shit went south and my brother was shot and killed in the line of fire. I was angry feeling as if the universe had slighted me robbing me of being able to share future moments with my brother. Him cheering me on when as I walked

the stage after completing nursing school, being a bridesmaid in his and his fiancé Arielle's wedding, holidays, birthdays. Gone. The only presence of him now in this moment was his framed picture that stood in the front of our family home for the repass. Not wanting to continue allowing myself to drown further in my grief I turned walking up the steps primary focus locating one of two people Arielle or my cousin India . It didn't take long to find ari talking with one of my aunts. Arielle was short in stature compared to most with smooth golden-brown skin that seemed to glow as the warm rays peaked through the window and a fit physique that would put Tyra banks to shame. No doubt courtesy of her personal trainer profession. Her round face framed with voluptuous curls. It was amazing to see her strength. Throughout her struggle a dimpled smile still adorned her face one that caused her Chinky eyes to disappear as she laughed. Noticing me walking over she politely closed out her conversation with my aunt walking to meet me. “Where did you disappear to “she quizzed giving me a slight nudge “ I needed some fresh air the condolences and sorry for your losses were becoming overwhelming” I huffed "Trust, I get it I have to many people asking me what i'm going to do with me and our son” she stated shifting uncomfortably. My heart ached for her. I couldn't imagine how it is to become a widow, single parent, and having to break the news to kaizen.

“for whatever your move or decision is you're not alone. You got me forever and so does nugget “I Said with half smile. She giggled at the nickname I assigned kaizen at birth. We glanced over watching the mini version of Jordan running around the house with the other kids.” I almost forgot your dad wanted to see us in the kitchen” she stated switching the topic. I nodded as we made our way to the cramped kitchen pushing past multiple bodies. My dad stood looking down at my mother with admiration as they talked among themselves “Hey daddy “I greeted walking over as he pulled me into a hug “Hey baby come sit your sister should be here in a moment” he said ushering me and ari to sit. I scrunched up my face at the mention of my sister. Jade and I had an exceedingly tenuous relationship. Jade was the youngest out of the three of us and was the golden child spoiled completely rotten. In my parents' eyes she could do no wrong and treated her as such. It didn't help that my mother drove the wedge and distaste for one another deeper pitting me and my sister against each other in a warped ass competition. Who is better than the other. My mother secretly rooted for jade while my dad on the other hands liked to play devil's advocate. Jordan was the only one who called them out holding everyone ,including myself accountable. The final nail in the coffin was catching Jade and my then boyfriend of two years Darien in bed together not to mention she continues to see him. To say I was hurt and angry was an understatement and as my family (aside from Jordan) tends to do they brushed it under the rug. As if her ears were burning jade stalks in turning her nose up at the sight of me. Feeling myself become anxious and agitated I decided to jump start the conversation “everything okay you wanted to speak with us” I question. Dad sighed grabbing a stack of papers from the counter sitting down placing them in the middle of the table. “We are going to start sorting out your brother estate and assets “Now” I asked in disbelief “Yes per your mother request”. Still not understanding the urgency I pressed further “Why so soon?” I said.” I have something important to take care of so I asked mom and dad to move it up” jade answered nonchalantly “what could possibly be so important that were doing this the day of our brothers funeral “I gritted out finding myself becoming angry. Sensing this Arielle reached over taking my hand in hers giving it a light squeeze “I have a trip I'll be going on we didn't want to move the dates” jade shrugged.” A DAMN TRIP!! WERE GRIEVING AND YOU HAVE NO CONCERN OR REGARD FOR ME OR FOR ARRIELLE. MY BROTHER ISNT EVEN IN THE GROUND GOOD AND YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT A TRIP AND IF WE CALL IT LIKE IT IS YOU’RE WONDERING WHAT YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON FUCKING SELF-”

“JOSELYNN TAYLOR, YOU MIND YOUR MOUTH IN MY HOME I DIDNT RAISE YOU TO BE DISRESPECTFUL AND WE AREN'T GOING TO START NOW “My mom interrupted slamming her hand down on the table. “Dad” I turned to him secretly pleading for him to jump to my defense but as always nothing.” Josie, I get that you’re upset I do but let's just rip the band aid off and get this over with” he said pulling his reading glasses on his face. Meanwhile jade's face held a victorious smirk, and I wanted nothing more than to put it through some dry wall “The lawyers drew up the paperwork dividing the assets based on Jordan's will. He had a one hundred fifty-thousand-dollar life insurance policy that will be divided fourways between his parents, two sisters and fiancé Arrielle. His dodge challenger he left to his sister Jade Taylor while rest the remaining vehicles will go to his fiancé Arrielle Rodriguez” From the side of my eye I could see jade smiling. “As for his properties he leaves the townhome located in California 9870 Blancas Blvd. in Anaheim to Arrielle and lastly, the ranch house located at 1600 rose ridge rd here in Dallas Texas as well as the 8 acres surrounding it” My dad paused taking a moment to catch his breath as my sister sat up in her chair ready “ will be left to his sister Joselynn Taylor” he finished laying the paper on the table. Jade scoffed snatching up the paper reading it not believing what she's heard. I sat in shock looking over at Arrielle who nodded confirming it for me.

“ Me and Jordan decided to create a backup plan in case of a worst-case scenario. Never thought id actually have to execute it. We thought it'd be best if I moved back to Cali to be closer to my parents and family for support, the house is way too much for me and kaizen by ourselves and besides it would be a painful reminder to our son “she stated fighting tears. “He thought you were the most deserving seeing as your in school and jade has support from your parents figured it would be the best for you” ari said. "But that's not fair I got plenty of cars that's nothing can't you do something” Jade complained her turn now to plead with our parents. My mother diverted her attention now to me “Josie can't you switch it's not like you need it. You’re single, no kids unlike your sister who's been in a three-year relationship with Darien and expecting “she tried to reason while sneakily throwing jabs at me. I let my eyes dance between my parents and jade reading their body language. It was true. "You -your pregnant” I stuttered as a began to internally crack “Yes it was confirmed yesterday at the doctors. Four weeks along I think Darien is more excited than me” jade beamed getting a kick at seeing me squirm at the news “you know I could refer you to our doctor he could possibly help with that sour ass womb of yours” she bragged tossing her hair over her shoulder. I could feel my throat begin to close up as tears were now flowing down my face “Jade that's messed up and out of pocket l what is that to say to someone? You just be lucky your ungrateful behind received anything your words are uncalled for” Arrielle jumped in taking to my defense “thanks Arri for taking up for me, dad I can't do this I gotta go” I stood abruptly pushing myself away from the table storming out of the house hoping into my car speeding off.

I drove with no destination until my crying turned into dry heaving processing the news. Not only did I have to take my sister snatching my relationship with Darien from under me but now I have the pleasure to watch them start a family one that should've been mine. A shitty way to rub salt in the wound. Ten minutes passed by before the sound of coco jones ICU blared through the car's speaker. Taking a quick glance at the car screen. I see my favorite cousin India name displaying. I may not have had a sister relationship with Jade, but I did find one with India. If I wasn't with Jordan I was with her. Three musketeers. I tapped answer “hey India wassup” I asked trying to mask the fact I was just crying “Honey I should be asking you that seeing the way you just ran out of here what happened”. I sighed “It's a long story “I stated “ wanna talk about it over some drinks at dukes “she offered ‘ooh please link with you at 8” I replied “see you then” she agreed

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

I tossed back my second shot of tequila squeezing my eyes closed as the clear liquid burned my chest India taking the chance to laugh at my facial expressions. “Thats no ordinary liquor “ I coughed “ Yeah but your ass needs it , now do you want to tell me what happened back at uncle Melvins” she said getting straight to business “ Where to start let's see that bitch jades greedy ass talked to my mom to convince her to push up sorting out Jordans affairs disregarding the fact were hurting, the only good and surprising thing was Jordan left a house to me but of course jade with help from my mom couldn't let that slide nooo they had to degrade me and spring on me that jades pregnant by Darien, Jade finished with saying she can refer me to her doc for my quote sour womb” I rambled with air quotes causing India to spit out her drink “ I know you fucking lying” she blurted “I Wish I was “ I chuckled darkly signaling the bartender for another round “so are we dragging her now or later” she asked in all seriousness “ we can't she's pregnant” I retorted “ AND her face aint her lip would have been swole before she could leave the house” India shook her head completely dumbfounded “I'm honestly in a space of being mentally exhausted it feels like I've had the worst luck of the draw. I can't seem to maintain anything good “I said “Josie Girl, I love you but were gonna gone head and shut your self pity party down. Sure you're going through some shit right now but it's not the end of the world. Your smart as hell ,On your way to becoming a nurse, fine as hell with a fat ass” she joked giving my behind a poke causing me to laugh “besides there's nothing you've lost that can't be regained Darien left but he aint the only man left in the world. You just got to find the right one for you one that slangs the meat” she said gyrating “oh my god dee must you do that in public and why so loud” I said covering my face in embarrassment “ I don't care you need some but first you have to stop running them away” she teased. ”it's not my fault they can't handle me “I shrugged leaning against the bar. She wouldn't call it running them off more so like weeding out the bad. Joselynn was tough overall to crack. Her hard exterior was difficult to get through. She was already to some degree antisocial so to get a conversation from her was a blessing. Even then you had to be engaging enough to hold her attention both in and out of the bedroom as she got bored easily. She wasn't one to just settle for anything as the slightest misstep/red flag and you were gone. Joselynn knew part of it was due to Darien.” you need to come with a sign that says you bite” She teased tooting her lips up at me as I shoved her slightly laughing. Before I respond Tamia’s Can't Get Enough came over the bar's speaker causing hoops and yells to erupt. Instinctively me and India made our way over to where the line dance started joining in. I was grateful for the distraction India provided and the peace she managed to bring. We continued throughout the night to dance to a few more songs take a few more drinks to the head before deciding to call it a night. Stumbling into the house I kicked my shoes off at the door making my way to my bedroom struggling to find the light. I went to take a seat on my bed seeing both a letter and a manilla envelope. The envelope from my dad the letter from Jordan. My hands trembled slightly gripping the letter not wanting to pull myself back into a state of hurt. I sat the letter to the side grabbing the envelope ripping it open out tumbling out a set of keys, inside the deed to the house and a small note from my father

Josie i'm sorry for earlier on behalf of your mother and sister inside is the deed for the house the keys as well as the address I love you always pops

Part of me was still angry but I had a soft spot for my dad and he knew that. Officially tired I sat the paperwork on the side table stripping my clothes and turning off the light, deciding to shower in the morning. It wasn't long till sleep overtook me.

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

A month had passed since the day of the funeral and I had tried to bury the emotions of Jordan being gone so much that I buried myself in other things to keep my mind occupied. Working at the hospital being a CNA provided some distraction and what my job didn’t cover in the distraction field schooling took care of the rest. In its own way they also provided me an excuse and shielding from my unrelenting mother who still made it her business to call pestering me to rethink my decision about the home. I won’t. It was one thing I had power over, and I wouldn't relinquish it so easily. For the first two weeks of his passing I went back and forth on whether or not I would actually move into the home not feeling quite right about it but after starting to feel like things were becoming stagnant decided it was best to move. I slowly drove up the light graveled path mouth dropping at the sight of the house that sat nestled at the end of the dirt road. It was a stunning two-story ranch style house with a wraparound porch. Coming into a stop I tossed the boxed moving truck into park hopping down to get a better look at the home “this is gorgeous “India stated walking up after parking her car. “I agree can't believe he left this for me” I marveled taking it all in “well believe it toots now let's gawk at it from the inside we got work to do” she declared holding her hand out for the truck keys. Dropping them into her hands she went to grab the first box as I went to open the door. The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior. The multicolored stone walls paired well with the mahogany hardwood floors and high ceilings. The set up with the furniture accented well no doubt due to Arrielle's careful selection when they were here.” Girl this is neeiceeee it don't smell like roaches in here or nothing "India shouted carrying in one of the boxes “You don't have the sense you were born with” I chuckled at her reference to girls trip “you ready to get this over with”. She groaned knowing just like me how long of a process unpacking was going to be. Without another moment of hesitation we jumped in getting started.

After what felt like years later I folded the last of my clothes, placing them away as India flopped on my bed groaning. “ I hate your don't need a man for shit mentality that was horrible” she grumbled “ It wasn't that bad” I giggled plopping down beside her “ Like hell it wasn't my ass is going to be hurting for days” she countered “I'll make it up to you I promise” I teased pinching her cheek “ yes you will tonight I want dinner fried chicken, mac the works” she responded smacking my hand away sitting up on her elbows “ Your joking” I asked not knowing if she was serious or not “nope I'm serious”. “Dee I don't feel like it” I whined “tough shit” she said not wavering. She was just as stubborn as I was.” Fine but you're getting the groceries” I huffed out relenting. “Cool with me I'm gonna go home shower then i'll swing back”. She jumped up grabbing her keys walking out. Taking this as an opportunity I grabbed a t-shirt and underwear from my drawer walking into the large master bathroom. I turned on the shower allowing the warm water to run relaxing my tense muscles strained by the lifting. After I finished I got dressed walking back in the room looking for my phone realizing I must have left it downstairs. Making my way to the stairs I could see the light from the living room reflecting on the wall. I figured India may have left it on that was until it flicked off. I froze on the top stair as my mind began to race, trying to rationalize what I saw. Maybe it was India. No, she wouldn't be back that quick. Maybe it was a blown fuse but a scared part of me didn't want to chance it. Tip toeing back upstairs I looked for something to use as a weapon eyes landing on the hammer I had used earlier to hang photos. Clutching it tight I slowly crepted downstairs the only noise was the sound of my heart thumping in my ears. Rounding the corner I froze seeing a figure standing a few feet away in the doorway the moonlight highlighted their 5’8 figure while providing shade from their face. Fear momentarily fueling me I got ready to charge forward when someone grabbed hold of my wrist twisting it causing my grip on the hammer to loosen eventually dropping it. Not having time to process what was happening I was grabbed and flipped on my back pinned down by the larger party. Still I struggled against the intruder managing to momentarily free my arm. I drew my arm back throwing blows anywhere they would land this didn't do anything but piss the person of as I was lifted slightly from the floor and slammed back down causing me to yelp in pain. Panic set in flooding through my nervous system. “TERRY WAIT SHIT I THINK THAT'S A WOMAN” a voice cut through from the other side. The lights flicked on seconds later giving me the chance now to get a look at the intruders. The one by the door stubbled faced held panic as he too assessed our current situation. Remembering the heavy weight at my midsection my eyes shot to the one who had me pinned. My breath hitched in my throat.

His honey kissed face glared back down at me while his plump lips twisted up in a snarl. His chiseled arms flexed as he kept me held in place but the most defining thing however. His eyes. A beautiful pool of blue gray encircling hints of hazel and green something similar to a painter who accidentally had his watercolor paints blending together into a perfect mess. “If I let you go do you promise to not do anything stupid” his baritone voice questioned snapping me from my awkward eye raping. I nodded in response. He stood pulling me effortlessly up with him. “Who are you and what are you doing in my house?” I asked finding my voice coming back as I rubbed my now sore shoulder. “I'm Mike that's terry" the one from the doorway answered “sorry if we scared you” he said sheepishly. “Scared is an understatement and that still doesn't answer why you're here or why I shouldn't be calling the cops for breaking and entering and assault” I fussed through gritted teeth. Still not saying much since turning me loose the one name terry walked past me grabbing something from his bag on the floor walking back over to me handing me a piece of paper. Jordans handwriting.

Hey T if you're receiving this letter it's because I'm dead. It's funny thinking on it seeing as the squad always joked calling me mister invincible but yet here I am gone. I thank you for always being there for me since meeting you you've always been like a brother to me rather than a fellow marine in arms. Given our prior conversation about your situation, I wanted to do one thing for you. I offer you T a place of solitude if you ever need to get away the address is listed below keys are hidden in the porch light fixture. Continue to be great .. I love ya man

Jordan signing out for the last time

I looked up at him handing the letter back to him. "You knew my brother” I said feeling the wave of his death rushing back again. I watched as his face widened in realization of who I was. “Yes we served together. I apologize for roughing you up I didn't realize you were Jordans sister. I thought you might have been someone that had broken in. I nodded understanding. “it's fine I thought the same” I said calming down. “Look we don't want to crowd your space and sorry for the intrusion. I didn't think anyone would be here. Your brother as you can failing to mention you moving in we will leave” Terry said signaling for mike to grab their bags. I sighed looking towards the ceiling having an internal battle with myself and before I could stop myself the words flew from my mouth “You can stay”

#terry richmond x black reader #terry richmond fic #aaron pierre #rebel ridge fanfiction #rebel ridge #terry richmond x fem reader #terry richmond x black oc #aaron pierre fanfic #terry richmond x black!character #terry richmond fanfiction

37 notes · View notes