#her death was the first to break me but not the last
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raysrambles · 3 days ago
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on the day the election results got announced, one of my friends wasn't at school. she was the friend that I had the most classes with, and I remember as the hours ticked by the painful knowledge that she wasn't sick, not physically, but that she just couldn't bear to be there that day.
i overheard classmates talking. "how are you?" asked one; in a broken voice, another: "I don't know".
"I'm scared," was the most common sentence I heard that day. "i can't live like this," said someone in the hallway; "we've still got each other," said another in what I desperately wanted to believe was hope.
"I prayed last night for the first time since I was five," said a friend of a friend; I looked out the classroom window at the cloudy sky and wondered if there was a god, and if he had heard them.
I watched people break down crying in the middle of class. by the end of the day, several kids had left school early.
"I need to get out of here," I said to my friends at lunch. "we're not going to make it another four years," said one of them grimly. how dystopian, how orwellian was it that a group of seventeen year olds were so casually discussing their escape from the country they had grown up in, the country that had raised them only to throw them to the dirt before they were even able to vote?
after school i drove to another school for a debate tournament. one of the judges who I hadn't seen in a year and with whom I'd only had one or two conversations came up to me and asked "how are you doing?"
"could be better," I admitted, "but I'm surviving." that was a bit of an understatement; there were tears in my eyes even as I spoke.
"I'm here," she told me, this woman who I hardly knew, and I realized that she was asking because she remembered one of our only interactions, a year ago, where I had casually mentioned being trans--
--and her gaze flitted down to my shoes, where back then I had had beads in the colors of the trans flag, beads that weren't there anymore, not because of any change in myself but that of the world around me.
"I'm here," she said again, and we stared at each other for a few seconds. I managed a "thanks", not trusting myself to say anything else.
that night I went onto Instagram. someone I hadn't spoken to since we fell out over a year ago had texted me a simple "I love you and am with you" type of message. all of my friends and even people I hardly knew were posting about the election, and I remembered
back when Biden was elected, the Republicans I saw online reacted with hatred, disgust, doubt for his abilities
but now all I saw from the ones who had lost this battle was fear
when the other side lost, they had the privilege of hatred
now that we've lost, all we can do is fear.
terrified sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year olds, in flurries of messages to long-gone friends and frantic posts. I had never felt more united, and yet I could not relish in our closeness because I knew it was not the closeness of friends but the closeness of soldiers too young for war, huddling close as their imminent death rained down from the sky, searching for some last comfort at the end of their too-short stories.
"I won't pretend this isn't as bad as it is," I typed out, "honestly I'm freaking scared. But we owe it to ourselves not to let this be the end of our beliefs.
"We still know we're right, even if the government doesn't agree. We're still all in this together.
"Love to everyone who's affected by this. I'm right here with you. Stay safe everyone."
I posted the Instagram story, praying to a god I didn't know that the words were true.
the next night when the house and senate election results came in, I cried, and it was not pretty crying, it was a child wracked with sobs in the dark on the floor of their room because they were only seventeen and terrified for their future.
I spent a long time writing that night, something I do to process my thoughts when everything is too much. I will simply offer this passage, which I think speaks for itself.
"Shall I tell them I am afraid because of the election? Shall I tell them that all day I have felt like a child masquerading as a man, scared of the boogeyman as i am scared of the fascist-like creature whose grasp is tightening and whose claws never cease, closing in on lives like a predator its prey? That I am a child scared of insignificance, of a fate I did not choose, of becoming a meaningless name among many, not of democracy falling but of not being the one who felled it?"
So to everyone celebrating the election, I'm glad that you're happy, truly I am. But I ask you to think of me and my friends, still children, most of us not quite old enough to even have our say in this country, as you laugh and rejoice and mock all of us who you defeated.
How many times must we cry, must we fall, must we watch each other die before enough will be enough?
Will it ever be enough?
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hexedwritings · 2 days ago
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Jinx x reader
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- Jesus fucking christ this woman is actually so fine in season 2. I didn't expect this.
- ⚠️ : Contains spoilers of S2, No nsfw, affectionate stuff and nice jinx. Headcanons of jinx I have during s2. May seem unrealistic but I'm going by all I can sense.
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- After Silco's tragic death, Jinx certainly had changed alot. The girl who was never afraid of taking risks was becoming almost invisible.
- First thing you noticed about her after Silco's death was the way she was more calm. She wouldn't hallucinate that terribly anymore. Sometimes during nights she would wake up due to nightmares.
- Overall, she was calmer. There wasn't anyone trying to manipulate her anymore and make her worse and you were not a bad person.
- Your relationship was once riskfull, chaotic and full of arguments. You and jinx would get into alot of disagreements at first but now..
- She had turned more quite, She used her body to express herself more instead of words, She had became more affectionate and last but not least, silently obsessed with you.
- Not that she was never obsessed with you. Not a day would go on and without her questioning "Are you going to leave me?" Plus, more careful and it felt like she was everywhere with you even if she wasn't physically there.
- She would show her affections through small gestures, sometimes holding your thumb or pinky finger, sometimes putting her hand lightly on your back and sometimes giving you small pecks on different part of your body.
- During the nights, she would be the most affectionate. Holding you close to her, you were afraid anymore pressure from her and you would break.
- Unlike how you thought, she wouldn't cry infront of you about Silco. Not only that, she would comfort you all the time as if her own pains had never existed.
- After Isha's grand entrance to you guys' lives, She went on full mom mode. Not only for Isha, but you too. You would sometimes find it funny how she would become worried for Isha or you.
- With Isha entering her life, she became even nicer and happier. She definitely awoke Jinx's innerchild and you definitely didn't know how to thank the little girl for simply falling on Jinx.
- A crazy, manipulated, afraid and frustrated jinx was now anything but those words.
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sugar--brown · 2 days ago
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Aw... sorry! Don't worry as the self-proclaimed queen of fluff, my focus is more on "how do I fix my blorbos?"
So! Imagine...
Nastya is floating into space aimlessly, alternating between hazy consciouness and death. She is just cold all the time now, space is pretty lifeless and lonely in comparaison of her family. Especially without her coat. She hasn't had a clear thought in years... or is it centuries?
Until she crashes on the windshield of a ship. Like a cute little space starfish. But not on any ship. On Silvana! Where Carmilla is currently the captain.
Turns out, Carmilla has found the little piece of metal with the numbers the cyberians had engraved on Aurora. She would never forget them. Ever. And of course, she was worried for her little moonshine!
So, when Carmilla had detected Nastya (don't ask how), she came to pick her up. What happened? Had she been airlocked? That was unusual, usually it was Toy Soldier who was the target...
It's hard to have answers from a popsicle Nastya, so Carmilla puts her daughter on bed rest until she is better. With lots of fluffy blankets and her favourite space hot chocolates.
But of course, Nastya is not going to be better. The moment her thoughts are clear enough, she shuts down. Because her life is over. Her Aurora is dead, she abandonned her family and band, her planet doesn't exist anymore, her relationship with her mom is rocky... what could she looks forward to?
After lot of soft persuasion, treats, and soothing songs, Carmilla is able to convince Nastya to at least explain what is going on in her head.
Nastya doesn't say "I'm scared of changes and organic beings in general because the first time I came in contact with them it traumatized me, so I snapped when the last bit of her homeplanet disappeared" because she is not aware that this is the problem. Instead she says to Carmilla the same thing she said to Jonny before shutting down again.
Carmilla is distressed to hear that, a love so pure and wonderful which lasted for milleniums couldn't shatter like this! Especially not between Aurora and Nastya. So, she goes to speak to Aurora. Nastya refusing to leave the Silvana.
Carmilla talks woth her oldest, in a way she never did before. It's raw, it's hard, but it's geniune. Carmilla talks about how Nastya still considers herself as cyberian, how herself had been negligent of the mechs' mental healths, how her relationship with Loreli went... Aurora also talks, which became small miracles lately. She talks about how she feels like Nastya loved her only because she had been abused and not because of who she was. She talks how hurt to realize that Nastya only saw her as a machine. She talks how she will never act as an organic being because it is wrong of her.
And oh boy! Carmilla and Aurora have a lot to talk about.
Meanwhile, Nastya is still in bed aboard Silvana. Refusing to move a finger. Which doesn't please Silvana.
Silvana is not everyone. They (let's use they as their pronouns) are a sentient ship just like Aurora, or maybe not in details but close enough! And they are offended about how Nastya talked about Aurora. They have a conscious! They are not an object that you can change entierly by switching pannels and bolts! How dare this little princess to imply it's the case! Silvana was expecting more than that when she listen Carmilla's tales about The Mechanisms.
Silvana is less soft and accomadating than Carmilla. They are not a mom. They are a spaceship able to travel between dimensions! So, she forces Nastya to talk.
And when Nastya finally snaps and says what she has buried deep down... She breaks down. She screams, she cries, she destroys things... she is messy. In a way she never really had been. Just like any organic beings. Or at least any immortal organic beings.
Silvana is surprisingly great at helping realised that Aurora is still Aurora even if she changes. Just like Nastya isn't the same than years ago. That running away is just hurting herself. And the love of her life.
I will not pretend that everything is perfect right away. And certainly not that everything goes back to how it was.
But, gradually and with a lot of errors, Nastya and Aurora reconnects. It took a stupidly long time! But they have the eternity to fall in love again. In a new way. A more geniune one. It feels like a new relationship, one based on the love they have for the real person their partner is, not what they represent.
It's slow, painful, and ridiculously messy, but they succeed. Nastya went In.
Just in time for a certain Pilchard to put a computer virus in Aurora, making Nastya succomb to it just the way she would have when she had this unique connexion to her love back in the days.
It's no wonder Out happened when you really think about it. Nastya doesn't like organic life because it's complicated, it can break, sometimes it's even unfixable.
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quote from gender rebels
Nastya is in love with Aurora, and in saying that she is saying "you are not organic life, I can deal with you because you are metal and algorithm and predictable" - we can see this in bedtime story when she says she'll tweak Aurora's story creation algorithm
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screenshot from A Bedtime Story
Aurora is not inorganic. She is not ai. She is a space moon made of flesh and blood and teeth and bone. She is not an ai. She is a body that was taken and stripped of autonomy, of the right to self identify, of the right to think- to be imperfect and organic.
The metal is a veneer that hides how messy and traumatized and unfixable she is. From the outside she is a starship. From the inside she can still bleed.
And this makes them fundamentally incompatible. But yet, they are in love.
And really, it's no wonder Nastya fell in love with Aurora. Let's take a look at Nastya's home planet, or at least home society:
"Terminals were scattered across the planet. There was one on every street corner, one beneath every lamppost and one in every commune block." "The midwife-machine performs a series of programmed manœuvres to quieten [the baby]. It cradles it and hums at several pitches until it finds one that seems most soothing. Mechanical arms stroke the baby’s flesh even as others start the process of implanting augmented reality interfaces into its nervous system." "The Czar an atrophied frame, never present in the real world and worn to dust by the chemical compounds that kept his brain alive so it could live forever in a perfect virtual paradise. The Rabotnik a copy, a mind preserved unchanging in the instant before its death and placed in an everlasting metal frame." (Cyberian Demons)
Its safe to say the world Nastya was born into, from the very minute she was born, was ridden with technology. She has augmented reality interfaces inplanted into her from birth. It would stand to reason that being taken from this society, wherein technology is everywhere, inside and out, would stand for a bit of a shock.
Aurora too had been augmented by the Cyberia.
While it is stated that the last time Nastya had used the ports themselves was directly before her death — "The last time she had used the ports, her tutor had ripped them out of her as the rebels stormed the palace" — Aurora is laced with Cyberian technology. I'd imagine she has something of a 'bluetooth wireless connection' with Aurora, rather than the physical data transfer of files between the ports and Nastya, it may as well be similar enough.
Imagine being Nastya, going from Cyberia, wherein there is augmented reality contantly, transplanted onto a ship with metal blood, a jonny, and a vampire. To Aurora, where the only bits of augmented reality run through Aurora.
Of course she'd fall in love with her. Aurora is familiarity. Aurora isn't organic. Aurora isn't human.
And of course when the undeniable part of aurora that is organic, that is a flesh moon plated in metal with her brain hooked to machines, when so much has broken and been replaced, when, presumably, aurora is less of an algorithm, nastya leaves with the brand cyberia left on her.
Because Aurora healing, becoming more of herself and less of a starship, is messy, and organic, and human.
and hard for nastya.
‘Think how long she’s been flying you around. Think how many bullet holes you’ve punched through her and how many atmospheres you’ve dropped her through. Think how many alterations and improvements we’ve made, Tim to her guns and Ashes to her storage and Brian to her engines and the Toy Soldier to who knows what. How much do you think is left of her after all she’s brought you through?’ Nastya held up the ancient, battered piece of hull plating. Just visible under the grime and scars of particles of space junk was a fragment of the Aurora’s original logo and serial number. Jonny honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had seen a version that hadn’t been painted by the Mechanisms themselves. ‘So she’s free, now.’ Nastya gestured around at the spaceship they were standing in. ‘This Aurora can take you where you want to go. I’m going to take my Aurora somewhere else.’
Aurora was ship of theseus'd. Aurora was improved. Aurora was no longer cyberian. (both literally, and metaphorically)
So nastya left.
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aristaspark · 3 days ago
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Another JWCT season 2 Kenlynn analysis because I'm obsessed and I don't know if the writers are geniuses, or if I'm getting worked up over a whole lot of nothing 😂.
So, bear with me.
Kenji's arc in season 2 is clear from the first episode: he's throwing himself at danger because of the losses he's suffered. He's broken.
But in all that sadness, he has one last glimmer of hope: Bumpy's egg.
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He's the one the most attached to it, even more so than Ben. After all these losses, it's the first sign of something good happening in his life. It's the contrary of death, a birth, "someone" new he can love.
During the entire season he's the most concerned with the egg, obsessed with getting it back, almost dying for it (more on that later).
Now flashfoward to episode 8: he discovers that Brooklynn is alive.
When he finds out, he's confused, hurt, mad, shook to his core (but props to the animators, for a split second...you can see that he is just... so happy).
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"She's alive?"
But the hurt and feeling of betrayal is too hard for him to grasp, so he pushes all his feelings away. He knows it's not the time.
And what does he do in order to push away his feelings about Brooklynn?
He focuses on the egg, as we established the only thing in his life which isn't tarnished or hurtful. And he desperately needs it right now, now that his whole world is crumbling down even more. This shift in his priorities is shown when he says this:
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"The eggs... Brooklynn took Bumpy's egg..."
At this point, Kenji's motivations are still unclear, but this line suggests that his main goal, the thing the most important to him at this moment is the same as it was at the beggining of the season, aka getting Bumpy's egg back... not getting to Brooklynn.
So when he goes berserk, driving like a madman, running as if his life depended on it to get to Brooklynn, of course we have the feeling that he wants to see her, but he's also running to achieve his objective, which has always been to take care of Bumpy's egg, and it just so happens that Brooklynn is the one obstacle to his goal.
We can see he's desperate, but it's left to interpretation as to exactly why.
Until he finally catches up to Brooklynn.
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It's Brooklynn's hand he grabbs, not the case. The thing he wanted the most is in his direct reach, yet he grabbs her hand. In this moment, he completely forgets about the egg, not even sparing it a glance, not mentionning it even once.
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"Brooklynn..."
All that matters to him is that the girl he loves is there, in front of him, which he thought would never happen again.
We finally have the confirmation that the reason he was so eager to run to that airport wasn't to get the egg back, but to see her. And not to get mad at her, no, just to... get her back.
And then, Brooklynn leaves.
She leaves them, but she leaves him. It's him she looks at the last, his grasp she frees herself from, him who utters her name afterward.
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They're still at the center of the scene, and the scene is a direct call back to the break-up scene (also... their colors are matching, it's like not even a little subtle, which tells me there's a reason Brooklynn wore a dark blue shirt the entire season...which is SO NOT her color).
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Notice how even there, it's Ben who remembers to ask Brooklynn to give them the egg.
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"Wait! Bumpy's egg... it's in that case..."
It's SO FAR from being something Kenji can focus on right now, now that Brooklynn is in front of him.
We then find out that before boarding the plane, Brooklynn has given Kenji the egg. Not Ben (who was the one who asked for it), not Darius, but Kenji.
...And Kenji looks the most heart-broken he has ever looked.
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He has just gotten his hands on what he thought he wanted the most, his ultimate goal this season, the very thing he threw himself into fire for, into an ocean beaten by the storm... and yet he's not even looking at it, his eyes instead watching the plane take off with Brooklynn inside.
He's gotten what he thought he wanted, but at what price?
It's not to diminish his link to Bumpy's egg. As I've shown, he risked his life countless times for it. But it just goes to show just how much Brooklynn matters to him. In that last scene, it's made clear that the thing he wanted the most, was for her to come back to them, to him. But she didn't, and gave him the egg to make up for it, as some sort of consolation price.
But it's not, and it will never be.
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080302s · 3 days ago
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the blue crown
warnings: SPOILER for obx4 pt.2, mentions of blood, character death
summary: thinking you could finally leave this goddamn dessert, you didn’t count on seeing groff one last time. basically reader taking kie's place in jj's last moments.
pairing: jj maybank x reader
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you were prepared to die for him, for all of them. you tried to tell him to leave, that everything would be ok if he just got out of here. but jj wouldn’t be jj if he didn’t try everything in his power to make sure you were safe.
“i’ll give you the crown ok?! just, let her go please” he was about to let everything you went through go to waste just to save you.
you watched, shaking in groff’s arms, as jj started coming closer to you, slowly handing the crown over, the sand crunching under his shoes. you’ll never forget the look in his eyes. in a second you were in his arms. you put your hands on his face, looking into his ocean eyes filled with tears. leaning your head on his, taking what felt like a full breath for the first time in weeks thinking this would all be over now, but oh how wrong you were.
you pleaded with him to just go, get out of here and find the others but he put himself in front of you as groff started speaking. “we could have had it all son. together. but you just couldn’t give me that damn rope huh”.
the world seem to move in slow motion as you heard a knife collide with flesh. you watched in horror as groff twisted his knife in jj’s stomach. “NO” your throat felt raw, this wasn’t real. he stumbled backwards, catching him in your arms you tried your best to carefully lay him down against one of the pillars behind you. “stay with me jay, come on” you tried to stay calm, trying to apply pressure to the wound but seeing all the blood, his blood, made you dizzy. “look at me, angel” he sounded like he was underwater or somewhere far away. you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. because everything was going to be fine right? this was just a bad dream. but when you felt his cold hands on your face you looked up. “i never told you my wish, did i?” he couldn’t get the sentence out without coughing up a string of blood. “d-don’t. we’ll be alright yeah? tell me when we’re out of here” you tried to sound hopeful but your voice betrayed you, shaking. he put a strand of hair behind your ear, using all of his strength to lift his arm. “i already got it” his eyes were full of love, despite everything he had never sounded so sure of himself. looking at you like you were the only people left on earth at this very moment. “n-no jay please, you can’t leave me, not y-yet” you were sobbing at this point, body shaking, heart beating so fast you were sure you’d pass out any minute now. “take care of the others yeah?”. you took his hands into yours, holding on so strong you were sure they would break. “i love you”. the world stopped when you saw his eyes flutter close, a single tear rolling down his beautiful face. you repeatedly said it back to him, making sure that the last words he would ever hear made him feel safe.
you tried screaming when you felt his body deflate but nothing came out. you collapsed on top of him, shaking him trying to get him back, because this just couldn’t be true. this was your jj. the boy who taught you everything you knew. the boy that always made sure you were safe no matter what he had to do, who held your hand when you were walking to your fathers funeral, who took you on your first date, who would be your first and last kiss, who took you surfing ever night without fail, laying on the beach letting you tell him all about the constellations in the night sky, who listened no matter what you had to say, who always made sure to look at you when you felt like no one was listening, who knew what you were going to say before even uttering a word, who made you feel on top of the world, like nothing could go wrong. but everything did go wrong. if he had just left, leaving you with groff, sacrificing someone other than himself just this once, the love of your life would still be alive. but he wasn’t. he was as cold as a stone, limp in your arms.
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thegeorgiahuntsman · 2 years ago
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Amy Harrison  -  The Walking Dead (S01E05  Wildfire)
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wolf-in-a-trenchcoat · 1 day ago
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@hobartsaglet wanted me to tell you about the color ramble lol
So, this actually reminds me of two sets of media I thoroughly enjoyed that has a similar thing- Megamind and Our Flag Means Death. In Megamind, we see Roxanne going from red to blue throughout the movie- thus signifying her relationship developing with Bernard!Megamind- and then turning to purple when they "break up", and lastly back to blue when she finally gets back together with Megamind in the end.
In Our Flag, Ed wears purple the closer he gets with Stede- same goes for how he wears fingerless gloves in the beginning to show that he's hiding most of himself except for the bits he wants people to see, then goes gloveless when he and Stede become super close, then full gloves in S2 for various plot reasons that may be spoilers. Fuckin love that show-
Anyways, back to the actual topic.
If you pay really close attention to Bilbo AND Thorin's attire during the journey, you'll see that as Bilbo becomes closer to Thorin, he ditches the reds and oranges and starts wearing blue- specifically Durin's blue.
Like THE family blue.
And it's not even that noticeable he does it. It actually took me a while to notice it myself, a second watch, AND looking through the costume designs. Like, yeah, we know that he'd end up wearing something warmer when the winter months come, but they obviously had various colors they could've used- Thorin wears a brown fit after Lake-Town, and everyone has their own colors...
But Bilbo specifically has Durin's blue. That is the shade it's called.
And BOTFA would be where we'd see the peak of their relationship- Bilbo is supposedly the only one at the time able to reach through the gold-sickness and get to Thorin. We see it during the acorn scene (a whole other rant) and when Thorin gives him the mithril shirt (also another whole ass rant). He trusts and has such a deep fondness for Bilbo even through the sickness.
It makes you think, when you take the colors into consideration. Bilbo wore very warm colors when we first and last see him. And yes, I mean the gear he had when he goes back home.
Bet you didn't expect me to bring that up, did you?? (Yeah, same- @hobartsaglet had to hear that rant for... 3 is hours on call? Sorry man haha-)
When he heads back to Bag End after talking to Balin and the remaining Company, if you pay really close attention, he's back to wearing red. Thorin is dead now, so there's no more relationship to develop. Bilbo isn't wearing blue anymore.
He stops wearing blue.
The whole journey, Bilbo's clothes change as he acclimated to the dwarves, but his colors changed as he grew closer to Thorin. It wasn't obvious and in your face, you had to pay close attention as the movies and scenes progressed.
Thorin wasn't left out either.
We see him first wearing dark colors and a common silver or steel. He's dark, majestic, broody- he looks out of place in Bag End at first. And as the story progresses, Thorin starts wearing lighter colors- browns, reds, just not black/dark colors.
That can also tie into the gold-sickness, too.
When they finally make it to Erebor and drive out Smaug, we see Thorin dressing more lavishly- AND BACK INTO THE DARK COLORS. He's back to wearing those shades and Bilbo is still wearing blue. Thorin also adds gold into the scheme.
Wanna know what else is gold, and causes great harm to its owner? The One Ring.
Both have something gold that destroys them from within- Thorin with the hoard, Bilbo with the ring.
But, when the Battle of Five Armies starts and Thorin finally clears out of the sickness, he's back to wearing SILVER/STEEL. Not a single touch of gold on him. At all.
The thing about the gold is that it was meant to make us uneasy. We're meant to see it and feel how heavy the weight of that sickness lies on Thorin and the line of Durin. Same goes with the ring, and it also being gold.
Thorin gifting Bilbo the mithril shirt is a nod to how much Bilbo has changed. That is one of the most, if not second to the Arkenstone, valuable items in that mountain. Thorin saw him as valuable through the rarest silver.
And mithril is a clean, pure silver.
I think there's more, but this is all I remember ranting about, so if I figure anything else out from memory, I'll shoot you another long winded reblog.
bagginshield is so real cause what do you mean they started wearing each others colors
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wonder-worker · 7 months ago
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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville#woodvilles#my post#to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way#writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about#and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft#(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized#what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens#and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented#and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened#I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead#it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly#anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break#her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it#it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall#makes for a great story tho
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uselessnocturnal · 10 months ago
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i just think- that maybe- perhaps- if i may dare say- please don’t come at me guns ablazing- the pacing for the pjo show could be improved
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acourtofquestions · 21 days ago
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Then she asked softly, "How long?" It took the entirety of his three centuries of training to keep the devastation, the agony for her, from his face. "Two months, three days, and seven hours." Her mouth tightened, either at the length of time, or the fact that he'd counted every single one of those hours apart.
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isekyaaa · 6 months ago
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But on the other hand, a psychological horror fanfiction of That's Not My Neighbor in which you are the doorman and a certain entity becomes obsessed with making your life a living hell.
#story ideas#i just can't get out of my mind a scene where like....#it's already at the end of your shift and the last person comes to the window#it's someone you already let in though so you assume it's a doppelganger#but upon giving this person a look over you begin to realize with horror that there's nothing wrong with this person#they have everything right#and if that is the case.......#w h o w a s t h e p e r s o n y o u l e t i n ?#i can't imagine sitting there realizing that everyone will die and it's all your fault#you let in the real person and you just sit there with your face in your hands ready to let death come#but the evening passes... and the next morning comes.... and life goes on as usual#nobody is dead#but you definitely let in both the imposter and the real person#so where did the doppelganger go?#and then you start overthinking everything#is the doppelganger still in the building? did it kill anyone? and if so who was replaced?#are this person's eyes too big? was her hair always like that? was his hat always that specific shade of gray?#eventually you realize that this is all just a game to the imposter#it's seeing you slowly go insane and is loving each and every single moment of it#and when your mind finally breaks from the abject fear and guilt it has built up within you brick by brick...?#that's when you'll taste your sweetest#i also could totally make this into a yandere like thing where it wants to keep you alive#that's an option too haha#idk how to write psychological or horror or yandere tho so like....... it'll be a first for me
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erobret · 1 year ago
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😔
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musical-chick-13 · 7 months ago
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#the PROBLEM is. some properties I like I cannot even talk about my Criticisms™ because if I do it attracts people whose side I am NOT on#like in the case of a certain british procedural show adopting old mystery novels that went on hiatus a lot. I did not like season 4.#but that is not because The Ship didn't go canon and it CERTAINLY wasn't because I never thought any of the show was good in#the first place. and I don't like The Main Ship of the c-chibs era but it's because the way it was written was VERY much not for me.#it's not because I think the whole era is trash (that ship was really the ONLY part of it I didn't like I loved everything else)#I DO have beef with some of the choices in season 8 of The Gritty Deconstruction Fantasy Show but they sure weren't ANY of the issues#that anyone else had!!! and I don't think it retroactively ruined the whole show actually!!!!!#like it's just so frustrating. especially since sometimes I DO want to break down what I consider to be unfortunate writing choices.#and I DO want to complain sometimes! but so much of the discussion around various properties is taken up by me just.#trying to explain that I'm allowed to like it in the first place and defending why I don't think it's Unconditionally Bad#so I can't ever like. for example. discuss the deaths in 8x03 and my issues with THOSE as character endpoints#or why they killed mary and had her husband act terribly to her for no reason just before she died#or how shitty it was in the last era for me to see ANOTHER character be mentally ill but in the most unobtrusive palatable way possible#(and then also make that really weird comment about a previous love interest??? who WAS unpalatable in many ways--though not like.#canonically mentally ill. even if I and many other people are drawn to that interpretation.)#perHAPS I want to talk about my confusion over the story's handling of j/d for reasons that are not 'I hate these characters' or#'that's pRoBLeMaTiC and you shouldn't ship it because that's pRoBLeMaTiC'#maybe I WILL just make a 4-hour video essay unpacking all my Thoughts™ on that show. because people don't have to watch it!#they could just hit the back button!
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moonybemine · 9 months ago
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your card declines at therapy so they bring out the father figure character that had a tragic death protecting the main character who's never had a father figure before them
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tirednapentity · 2 years ago
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Oh the irony of me creatign a tournament for dead characters and my pet budgie dying immediately after
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kuromi-hoemie · 1 year ago
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i can't believe i used all my tags on this. i have MORE TO SAY. honorable mentions i will not elaborate on: pikmin, runescape, OG animal crossing.
the reason for all my tags is because there's a difference between "most fun" and "most important" and feel like if they're important u should at least say why :3
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#1. metroid prime trilogy: my first dive into metroidvania games and to this day it is probably my favorite genre next to soulsborne.#also as a space nerd egg “wow she's so cool i wish i could be like her” lmaooooo buddy..#2. eternal darkness sanity's requiem: REALLY great unique game. graphics r a bit dated but i think it otherwise holds up rly well.#great spellcasting system with a rock beats scissors beats paper type of thing between different uh. “types” of magic? sourced#from different gods that seem to exist outside of time. idk what bar it raised exactly but it made a strong impression on me#and I've been wishing i had something like it ever since. the sequel has been started multiple times but i don't think it's ever#gonna happen 😔 nintendo has some surprisingly GREAT rated R games.#3. fallout new vegas/skyrim: having enjoyed these so much I've had them on every system i think getting them for PC was a literal#game changer. i played vanilla then ultimate editions and Thought i played them to death but once i got console access on PC??#it kinda served as my entry point to using mods and recently I've even made my own mod for elden ring and dark souls 3 (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)#not that I really needed or used mods with those games - but just kinda being Aware™ that being on PC means u have access#to the game's underlying functionality that you don't get on console. making bat scripts for skyrim/fonv made for some#HILARIOUS gameplay 😭#4. Sonic adventure 2 battle: rly just the sonic games in general but this one FUCKS. Songs r bangers. love the characters.#u low-key kidnap the president for a bit?? more like u break into his car to talk with him nonchalantly lol but still 💀#i listen to the OST to this day!!! when i think of a favorite GameCube game this is one of the first to come to mind.#and the chaos 🥺🥺🥺 and Rogue hey queen (⁠。⁠ノ⁠ω⁠\⁠。⁠)#5. hard to pick a Last One here.. I'm sure there are a lot of games that could be a stand-in choice but RE4/Dead Space Trilogy:#these were some GREAT horror survival games with a good plot and engaging gameplay. Dead Space especially was one me and#all my friends played and took turns playing (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤ just the time spent together alone was good but just rly solidifying that#u can have horror a good plot And good gameplay all in one. i love survival horror as a genre to this day (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠) wish i could#remember others i played but i can't?? speaks to how iconic they were at the time though.#6. (honorable mention) the mass effect trilogy: u wanna talk about great plot and engaging gameplay?? these games were SO#fucking good omg 😭 i LOVE the lil class system and the different abilities u get to use i loved that u could carry ur character and#decisions across games. and the fucking TRAGEDY of ur faves not making it thru the ending of ME2 (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) I fr#Went Back so i could try again and again till i at LEAST saved Jack but also saved everyone.#i think the emotional payoff for all ur characters ur invested in r pretty good when u make it to the third since it's p cinematic?#kinda want to play it again. ick do i want to touch the origin launcher though is the real question (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠;⁠) i bought it in a bundle#on steam and immediately asked for a refund when i realized i couldn't just play it through the steam launcher (⁠ノ⁠`⁠⌒⁠´⁠)⁠ノ⁠┫⁠:⁠・⁠┻⁠┻#anyways. lots of time spent there too and another addition to the “you can have fun gameplay AND a great plot” pile.
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