#hence why i'm sharing

[raine-world]

Sometimes I think about how I really don't enjoy Deltrarune despite it still being a good game. So I try to watch some content of it and I enjoy it at first, then I remember...

Largely a reason I don't like Deltrarune comes from a bad fandom interaction I had literally night one the game released. I had gotten to Jevil, but didn't understand how to spare him, and there was no walk-through yet because again, it was Day 1. So went to a discord server I was active in at the time to ask for help since I knew people there had finished the game already. I told them I was having trouble on the Jevil fight and asked for help. I explained I got all 3 keys, etc, and multiple people just fucking... told me I was confused and making things up??? Literally people unintentionally gaslighting me because they were too stupid to find Jevil on their first play-through, and instead of saying anything normal like, "I don't know who that is" or "sorry I haven't gotten there yet/haven't done that yet!" everyone's first interaction was to tell me the Jevil fight wasn't real. Okay. Sucks that one bad fandom interaction can turn an entire game sour for me.

[jonathanrook]

thank you random citizen

[bumblingbabooshka]

It's impossible to write a TOS x Any other Series crossover [for me] without having to think about whose lens it's going to primarily be from because the vibe of TOS is so distinct and I think quite different from all series that follow it. The way the characters speak and are presented is so theatrical and of course steeped in the past that I find myself considering if this is, say, Janeway meeting Kirk (through a VOY perspective) or if I should write Janeway as she would appear if she stepped through a portal and was in TOS' universe.

[violetlunette]

Here’s an idea; Twst spoilers

So, there’s a popular fan plot that after Silver and the others save Malleus, Silver overblots. This is one of those. However, instead of attacking anyone, like most blots, Silver runs away as the feeling that made him blot over was thinking that his existence brings nothing but pain. Therefore, Silver’s overblot form is only harmful to himself, often clawing at his body, as if trying to tear himself apart. He only attacks when others get close and that’s to warn them away more than anything. As soon as Silver overblots, he flees while the phantom creates a “Castle of Illusion,” which acts as a prison and torture palace to keep Silver trapped and to “punish” him. Because the others don’t want him to die, the Diasomnia crew breaks into the castle and fights through the castle spells to get to the center and save Silver before the Phantom drains Silver’s life away.

[titenoute]

Ok so I'm pretty happy with my Rottmnt Spooky month/Yokai AU illustrations I made. And after the last one I posted, I kept an eyes on the notes bc I was curious about which pieces had the most success (and ok, I was checking what people said in the tags 👉👈)...And uh. There is something pretty funny going on. So this was the situation 2 days ago.

I wasn't surprised when I saw Don had the most notes, not gonna lie. I mean, this is Don. He's a fan favorite. I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't gone hard with his piece he still would have had some success. Leo and Mickey have been around long before Don but barely made any numbers. Especially Leo. Poor Raph isn't getting much notes but that one's on me (I wish I had more time for his comic,it should have had more lore actually). Too bad coz I think this is my best pieces of the lot. April, with the Torii has been doing better than I expected and this makes me pretty happy. So that was the situation But...Today ? I realized something changed.

For some reason, Leo suddenly gathered a lot of notes without any explanations. Not only ranking to second place but also getting dangerously close to Don's number. And bc of this, this is all I can picture at the moment.

[elitadream]

hiii I’m so glad you are back and I’m glad you are okay, I was worried you would never return! so are you not posting Mario content at all, or just posting bits of Mario here and there?

Hi!! 🥰 Thank you for reaching out!

I will most certainly still post about Mario from time to time (mainly games like Sunshine and World, my beloveds! ☀️🙏), but admittedly not as frequently or as consistently as I used to.

Mario has been my sole focus as an online creator for the past year and a half, and... Well, some 300+ drawings later, I feel like I've done enough. In terms of fanart at least! 😅

I might refine some of the concepts I previously left aside and share those at some point, but right now I mostly just want to give it a break and freely explore other subjects for a little while. 😌✍️

[lobaznyuk]

short and random compilation of elite final passes/ending poses that i enjoy, ranging from pretty to corny to chaotic

[sevensoulmates]

Everyone say thank you Frank for teaching Eddie the jello technique

[lian-fang-zun]

Having trouble sleeping: ZCG x Reader

Foreword Note:

Does this even,,, count as a fill lmao...I just got inspired by one of @nasuversekinkmeme's older prompts to write a reader insert fic with FSR Zheng Chenggong in FGO's setting and the reader character ended up being a bit thirsty lol... Anyway, uh. Zheng Chenggong is probably also a little OOC even by my usual standards of 'imagining how different he'd be as a Servant compared to his FSR appearance based on historical records' characterization for him, mostly for self-indulgence reasons orz.

-

“[Y/N].”

It was one thing to be awoken by literally anyone else, or any other Servant for that matter – Mash included. But to be woken up by him… It was a surefire way to jolt awake from your state of near-sleep at least, blinking rapidly in an attempt to get the spots out of your line of vision.

Though, being able to focus on Zheng Chenggong’s expression to your side was not…exactly an improvement. Mostly because you immediately felt blood rush to your face upon realizing that he must have seen your hair in disarray, and probably the trail of drool out of the corner of your mouth – something you hastily tried to wipe away when you realized.

“Wh-What…?” you mumbled somewhat defensively, straightening up under the intensity of his stare. “I only fell asleep…”

“And not at your bed, [Y/N],” he replied, arms crossed. “Surely you remember that this is not the first time.”

What else could you do but laugh nervously at this? It wasn’t like he was wrong – you’d developed a bad habit of falling asleep in random places ever since you’d joined Chaldea in the first place, and being at Novum Chaldea has hardly done anything to quell it. Irregular schedules when dealing with Singularities and Lostbelts would do that to a person, even setting aside the AP crashes when the adrenaline brought on by using Golden Apples ran dry.

Not that, of course, that was the only reason for the irregular sleep schedule…

Zheng Chenggong promptly – and undoubtedly inadvertently – made this apparent when he suddenly knelt closer to you and rested a hand on your forehead, a slight crease in his brows as he went on, tone hardening, “And with your state like this – [Y/N], go to bed right now. You’re at your limit.”

“O-Or what?” you stammered back, your retort hindered by how flustered you were by the distance having suddenly closed between you two. It was, in some ways, utterly unfair to have Servants who were exceedingly oblivious to the effects their good looks had on the people around them, and Zheng Chenggong was rather unfortunately one of them. “Wh – What are you gonna do if I don’t?”

It was probably not the smartest question to ask someone who could and has ordered executions – many of them, in fact – without batting an eye for his men’s failures. Or someone who had, once, ordered his firstborn son and his principal wife to be executed – even if it was in a fit of madness, and wasn’t even carried through by his executioners. But you weren’t exactly in a state of mind to be rational about this.

And thankfully, as a Servant, Zheng Chenggong had no intention to repeat that sordid part of his history. Instead, he pulled back, regarding you silently for a moment, before reaching over to hoist you up and over his shoulder.

“Wh – !?”

You yelped, flailing on instinct as he stood up, effortlessly carrying you as he made his way to the library exit. Thankfully, nobody – not even Murasaki – was around on the way there to notice, otherwise this would be even more embarrassing. “What are you doing, Zheng – !?”

“Taking you to bed, of course.”

The way he worded it made it evident he had not the slightest inkling how compromising the current position must have looked, with the way his Master was draped over his shoulder. It was honestly almost infuriating that even after all this time, other Servants – like a certain general of Eastern Wu – had better luck flustering Zheng Chenggong than you did.

But then again…this was probably the closest you’ll ever come to the fantasies that played out in your head the few times you were in bed, often keeping you up all night. Seeing your Servants’ parameters was one thing, but experiencing displays of them was another – and of particular interest most of the time was the Strength parameter.

And B was a particularly high rank for Strength, after all…especially for a Heroic Spirit who was from the 17th century…

In fact, you were so caught up in wondering what else he could do with a high Strength parameter that you didn’t notice when he’d stopped at the side of your bed to deposit you unceremoniously on it. Landing in a heap on your bed was decidedly not a romantic ending to any sort of scenario, imagined or not.

“Ugh…” With a groan, you sat up, trying to glare at approximately where your Servant must be in the darkness of your bedroom. “What was – what was that for?”

A slight clink of the armor he often wore (the only thing between you and tearing off the robes on his body, your traitorous mind reminded you) was all that alerted you before you felt his hands not-so-gently (and yet, with none of the roughness he would have shown most others) push you down into a lying position. There wasn’t any point in resisting the force that it took to do that, so you reluctantly succumbed. At least your pillow and mattress were comfortable as always…

“ – You asked what I would do if you were to refuse to go to bed.” Was that a shift in the darkness? Possibly. You could only guess. “That is my answer.”

One hell of a way to answer that, you thought, even as you snuggled under the covers more to avoid…well, you weren’t sure what you were avoiding. It wasn’t like you could lift yourself out of bed right now to find out.

But your imagination ran a bit wild in the meantime. It was a little easier to do that when you could only barely make out Zheng Chenggong’s outline, and only then through the crack between the door and the doorframe – this made it easier to fill in the details with what you were envisioning. Just because he has armor on doesn’t mean you can ignore how broad his shoulders are…hell, if anything, the shoulder armor really emphasizes it. And that wasn’t even getting into the fact that if one were to somehow manage to pull it all off – the armor, at least – it would be easier to feel at the muscles concealed underneath the robes…

“Master.” The enunciation of your title, crisp and blunt, shattered the trance you were in as you stared ahead at him, not realizing he’d already moved to the door. “Go to sleep.”

“I-I will!” you protested back, even as you made an admirable effort to close your eyes. It wasn’t until the door shut behind him that you finally opened your eyes again, knowing full well you weren’t getting any sleep once again.

Especially since the traitorous thoughts from before only got worse when he wasn’t around.

[polarisbibliotheque]

About the time a guy was being creepy to me on a professional setting and my gut feeling told me "GET OUT NOW"

Ok, so hi! This post has to do with a reblog recently here in my blog, on one of my fics regarding Dante and Vergil with an s/o suffering from being hit on without their consent. I write Devil May Cry fanfiction and that was my way of coping with a CREEP being, well, a creep.

Who would've known, fanfic is therapeutical

My answer got so big, I decided to make a separate post about it - and I'm talking like this because, if this gets out the DMC sphere and other people read it, they'll understand the fandom talk a little bit. This is not just for the fandom, but everyone out there.

Including men. All of us are prone to being targets of creeps - even if I'll be telling about my experience as a woman, take this advice to your heart NO MATTER your gender.

When this episode happened in my life, I was 27 y/o, I think...? I got pushed into such a stupid corner by this guy who kept messaging me with "work related" stuff... And my family wasn't validating my "this is weird" feeling.

So... What happened?

(TW: I mention the words "rape" and "sexual abuse" but none of that has happened. It was a red flag and I want to talk about avoiding it like the plague and how people might dismiss your gut feeling when something is wrong. I write with brutal honesty, curse words and don't censor anything, because I'm here to tell people how it is not curating content to go viral on clean ~family friendly~ social media. This is honest advice I'd give someone else, so it's just a heads up. I'm a little jaded with all the censoring of "forbidden words" when you have to discuss serious subjects like this nowadays hahahaha)

First context, I'm a Lawyer. Hi. I know it doesn't sound like it Second context, I'm from Latin America. Hi again!

Well, in my country, we have to vote every couple of years for the National Lawyer Association President and Vice-President (for my USA people, it's like the BAR association for Lawyers - meaning only lawyers who have passed the BAR and are, indeed, full-fledged to the association and with a lawyer permit can vote). I hate it, but it is what it is, I have to vote every time for one of those posh speaking clowns or else.

This much older guy stopped me at the entrance to the voting building to do some political propaganda of one of the candidates. Expected. They weren't the ones I was gonna vote 'cause their agenda didn't fit what I wanted for the Association - nevertheless, I smiled and was polite. Guy wouldn't shut up, but that's a lawyer thing. Kept being polite, dismissed him kindly and went inside to vote.

As I came back, guy is there and stops me. I had called my mom to give me a ride home - by that time, I had been broke and without a job for 2 years up until that point, trying to get back into the ~lawyer business~ and recover from a very bad burnout, so paying a ride back home was a big no. I had my phone on my hand and kept chatting because, you know, networking. You never know.

Now, mind you. I'm about to celebrate my 30th birthday this year, but people seriously think I'm underage wherever I go. I have to literally show them my credentials and ID so they can believe a single word I say. This guy, must've been around his 50s or something - and I look like a teen or, at best, 20 years old. I graduated when I was 22, so that's the most he could've imagined I was.

As we're talking, dude is flexing his career so hard I start to do the same. He says he has known the President and influential people in politics (back then, far-right government, so red flag already waving in the horizon), he has an office both here and in New York and Miami, he has worked with the FBI (we're in Latin America, the USA stuff is a flex for far-right people). I say I have worked as the Labor Lawyer in a huge worldwide known multinational company, coordinated with people in the USA and UK, had around 100 cases to manage monthly and keep the company in order when the directors were not around.

Guy is impressed and asks for my contact on LinkedIn. I'm down for it, I'm looking for a job and he could be one hell of a way to get back on business. Dude mentions he's in digital law and, heck, I wanted so bad to get into digital law! It was like he was put in my way by the angels to help me get back on my feet!

He asks for my resumé and my cellphone number, so he can have me in his office to have a cup of coffee. I am soaring by now. "That's it!!" I think "That's my ticket back to being a lawyer, to having my own money, to breaking the cycle of unemployment and having my career back!" - so I do it! I give him my number!

hello, workaholic aunt here speaking, my career was everything to me, I'd do everything for it

After I got back home, told my mom everything, and everyone was so happy. That's when he started sending me messages - asking for my address so he could send me some lawyer magazines and such... Even though he had asked when we were talking before and I changed the subject. I didn't give him of course, but instead sent him my resumé.

So, next day he asks me about that coffee and I said we can make it happen... Even if he got my name wrong. I have a pretty exotic name in whatever country I go, so it's a common mistake, known to happen, no one can pronounce my name right if I don't teach them how to, so yeah. I'm willing to gloss over that.

I'm assuming he read my resumé, saw how smart, capable and hardworking I am, and wants to talk business. Wants to offer me a job. I'm super ready. I'm taking my business clothes out of the closet, I'm cleaning my high heel black boots, I'm checking my references and vocabulary so I don't screw up. Guy sends a message saying he wants to take me out for lunch.

Red flag. My instincts flare up and I'm just staring at the screen. I start reviewing everything. I mean... Business lunches are ok, right? I had lunches with my manager and director plenty of times back in the day and it never got weird. So... Why was I feeling weird now...?

Guy says we can go out for lunch and then back at his office so he can show me around. I was like "hmmm... ok? shouldn't be weird. this is normal." but nevertheless I went to check with my mom and my sister.

Both said it was fine. I was feeling weird because it's a guy and me and I shouldn't be feeling uneasy - it's my social anxiety/workplace trauma talking. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. I shouldn't screw up.

I keep talking to him. I ask where we should meet up for this lunch and he tells me to give him my address, so he could pick me up and we can go to "a nice place to have lunch" (his words, not mine).

Red flags are dancing around my head. I keep thinking "have I lead him on something????" and going mad. What was I wearing? Only work clothes, that's all - suit pants, black high heel boots, dark silk shirt and only a nude lipstick so my lips wouldn't get chapped. My shirt didn't even show cleavage.

It's ridiculous how I feel this is a thing I should add 'cause heaven forbid the cleavage

What about what I've said? Did I accidentally flirt?? 'Cause that's been known to happen - I'm a clueless ace who can't for the life of me notice when people are flirting or not or notice when people think I'm flirting with them. And usually when they are not flirting or being attractive, that's when the magic happens for me! So... What gives?! Did I do something wrong, that sent the wrong message?

I mean, I was nice, yes. But you're supposed to be nice to people. I'm not gonna be rude just because most guys can't keep it in their pants.

I go over the messages. I didn't do anything strictly not business like. I'm very good at that. I have only worked responding to men as bosses in my life, had four male bosses before him, all different ages, marital status, star signs, backgrounds, lives. The best colleagues and co-workers I used to spend hours having coffee and laughing with were men. So I know how to keep professional and not mixing things up. It wasn't a slip up from my side.

Well, then there's always the chance I was going crazy and overreacting, soooo... I go over to my mom and sister. They think it's weird, yes, but they do think that's exactly what's going on: I'm overreacting and my social anxiety/workplace trauma is blocking me from pursuing this opportunity that can help my career - and make me have a salary again so I can help at home.

Ok. I though up and go back to talking to him. I tell him fine but I'll go to the place myself, so he can tell me where he's thinking about having lunch. Guy tells me nothing and keeps insisting I give him my address and he will give me a ride so we can "get to know each other better".

My GODS I've never felt so uncomfortable. Not even when I had to stay ONLY with my boss working until 1 am, only the two of us in the company building, every light out except the one in the room we were in, him being around 15 years older than me and very confident, with the two of us having one of the best work chemistry I had in my LIFE.

He could've done ANYTHING to me, but we only talked strictly work. We were tired, he waited for my mom to pick me up at 1 am outside so nothing bad would happen to me, both of us under an umbrella, he apologized to my mom for having me stay at work so late and then went back home to his wife and kid. I NEVER, at ANY moment felt unsafe around him. He was my mentor, he was my boss, he was a good colleague and even somewhat of a friend.

So why on EARTH was I feeling SO UNCOMFORTABLE with this guy I had only met ONCE face to face in my life?

I start to voice my concerns. My mom and my sister think I'm only saying that because I don't want to go back to work. That I want to throw my career away because I can't control my anxiety and my feelings. We fight a couple of times and a couple of days. My mom tells my aunt about it. My aunt goes full FBI and does a background check on this dude.

That's when she told my mom some things weren't adding up. His LinkedIn profile was a little too weird and he had no ties whatsoever with the elected President of the Lawyer Association - was he really someone in their team for propaganda? Nevertheless, he did have an office and did work with digital law, both here and in the USA. I shouldn't let this opportunity slip.

I got so mad. SO MAD. To the point my sister decided to ask her boyfriend for his opinion on all of it and he was like "hey... your sister is kinda right. guy wouldn't offer to take ME to a nice restaurant to have lunch and go to his office later for a coffee, would he...? I mean, this never happened to me" - and sis' boyfriend is on the business meetings and negotiations/selling part of the spectrum. He knows what he's talking about.

So now I finally have a man validating my concerns.

I take the decision to shut the whole thing down. I go "very well, I will NOT meet him, I will NOT maintain contact with him, he's treating me like a whore he picked up on the street". At this point, I am FUCKING FUMING. But still, my sister and mom gave him the benefit of the doubt and made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

So I decided to marinate him for a while.

I should note that all his messages were sent close or around midnight, not at working hours. And I only answered at working hours. Since I was taking a while to respond, my dude just goes like, and I kid you not, "ooooh she's not answering, she's ignoring me, I don't like that *sad emoji*" LIKE A FUCKING 13 YEAR OLD (no offense, 13 y/o peoples, but this dude is a FULL GROWN ASS MAN).

I am offended, I am flabbergasted and I wish I could suplex him to oblivion.

I show my mom the message. She just stares at me in awe. She FINALLY is like "yeah, ok, this isn't very professional". ALL THIS TIME, I never really told her what I was thinking and what was really worrying me. And then I break her the news that, what I'm really afraid of, is that this guy is going to rape me in his car. Or he's going to drive me somewhere I can't fight or scream and then he'll rape me. Whatever the scenario, it ended up with me being raped and I was scared. SO. FUCKING. SCARED.

My mom goes into Sphinx mode - that's when she doesn't answer and doesn't even look at me and just ~thinks~. It's a brutal reality she doesn't like and I don't like it either, I mean, it's my safety we're talking about here.

I shut down the guy completely. I tell him there's a family emergency and I couldn't continue to give him any attention nor I could go out for that lunch and I couldn't talk anymore. He SUDDENLY goes cold and "I am sorry if any of my messages seemed inconvenient. Do answer when you have the time so we can make an appointment." And that's it. No more messages. He's done in my book.

My mom tells my aunt. Aunt goes Sherlock Holmes mode this time and, lo and behold, they find an website of this guy's office. My mom is shocked at how 90's internet it looks for a guy who works with digital law. She then recognizes the address of the office but the doesn't remember of any office building in that street - so she Googles it.

His "office" is actually a residential building - meaning, it was his home address. She shows it to me and I want to cry - out of rage, shame, fear, sadness. I go like "yeah, this is the place he wanted me to go, to his home. What was he going to do to me there, huh?" - and I think the answer is pretty obvious.

Later, speaking to my sister, she's like "I dunno why you're so mad" and I'm like "WELL MISS I just got PICKED UP LIKE A WHORE outside of an OFFICIAL EVENT for the NATIONAL LAWYER ASSOCIATION while I was DRESSED UP PROFESSIONALLY and looking for PROFESSIONAL opportunities and I COULD HAVE BEEN RAPED. I think I have all the right in the FUCKING WORLD to be FUMING."

That's when we diverged some more. She just said like "hey that's how the world works: women are treated like whores - you weren't the first one to have this happen to you and you won't be the last. What are you gonna do about it? Get over it."

Oh. Boy. I looked at my sister's eyes. I saw her just staring at me weirdly. A storm was approaching. The skies darkened. Bury the Light started playing in the background. Vergil's doppelgänger was standing behind me like an angel of death. (All DMC references for my non-DMC peoples)

"Well. I wanna have power. So much fucking power in this world that no one ever even thinks about treating me like that again. So much power they will fear standing in front of me and saying those words - they will look into my eyes and shut up. So much power I will never be afraid to walk on my own again and I will never have to doubt my feelings when I'm feeling unsafe because some lowlife pitiful little shit decided I should be a whore to satisfy him. I want to have power so I will never be this helpless again."

Cue in my sister just sitting there with butter in the slice of bread in her hand, staring at me like "wtf man... do you need a hug...?" and me doing a dramatic exit back to my room to, well... Write the fanfic in question.

(For my DMC creatures: I never even thought of Vergil when I said all of this, I just noted that thought later in my diary and reading it a couple of days later I was like "omg I have become my worst enemy, fuck you Verge" because I kid you not, I used to hate this man with all the fibers of my being - hence where my longfic Nemesis came from. I realized I lived long enough to become my worst enemy - and maybe I hated him because Vergil made me look at the part of myself I didn't like and didn't want to admit existed *I'm laughing while writing this, I do find it weirdly amusing*)

DMC things aside, this WHOLE episode made me feel so frustrated. I never had anyone to validate me, only people doubting me or asking me if I lead him on, or what was I wearing, or if I smiled too much, if I was being too nice, if I said something inappropriate, and so on. I had to get it all off my chest and I thought maybe, juuuust maybe, Dante and Vergil would've been more supportive regarding that.

Because, you know, they know trauma and they are protective as fuck. They can have all the red flags and mental issues in this world, but I don't think they would EVER dismiss their partner - especially a woman - feeling unsafe and fearing being abused or raped. In order to trust, you have to give the person and opportunity and room to open up to you without judgements - and I do think they aren't very judgy people.

I mean, they are demons, for fuck's sake. They can't judge anything especially Vergil

Also, I don't blame my mom nor my sister (even if I got really mad at her). In the end, both of them wanted what was best for me, they thought it was an opportunity and wanted me to get my career back. Truth is, no woman knows how to act when this happens. And they didn't know how to act as well. They didn't want to think of the worst: just like I was doubting myself and my own feelings, they were doubting theirs as well. We ALL had to be validated by a man to admit something was wrong and we weren't hysterical.

Ok, ok, storytime over. But I felt like sharing this because people, you are ALWAYS valid in your concerns - and there's no clothing, no smile, no attitude, no NOTHING that JUSTIFIES abuse. If you're abused or feeling like someone wants to take advantage of you, especially sexually, YOUR FEELINGS AND FEARS ARE VALID. Don't shrug it off or water it down just because people are saying you're overreacting - if I had listened to everyone around me instead of my gut feeling that something was REALLY wrong, only the gods know what would've happened. But I'll tell ya, it probably wouldn't have been good for me.

At best, I'd be mad this guy would want to pick me up like a whore and I'd have to turn him down and take a ride home. At worst, he would've raped me - in his car, at the "restaurant", at his "office". We don't know, but I didn't want to "give luck to bad luck" as we say where I live.

I didn't have support, so I wrote a story to feel supported by the fictional characters I look up to - I wished SO bad I was dating someone, especially a man, who'd tell me he'd go through hell and back to keep me safe and wouldn't allow anyone to hurt me and validate my feelings. Someone who would make me feel safe and I wouldn't have to only rely on myself.

cue in V saying he too wanted to be loved and protected, I tell you, all this time I thought I hated Vergil when I had only found my nemesis in a mirror

So, don't ever doubt yourselves. Don't ever doubt your gut feelings. We might want validation and someone to keep us safe, but sometimes we don't have that and have to rely on our survival mode. It sucks, but there's a reason why that thing is called "survival": it keeps you alive. It keeps you going.

And no one, NO ONE has the right to say you're overreacting, you're being hysterical, you're reading too much into it, you're just trying to find the easy way out, you just don't want an opportunity because you're lazy, you're crazy and deranged, etc, etc.

If your gut is flapping red flags all around, then overreact. Be hysterical. Read too much into it, find the easy way out, be lazy, be crazy and deranged. Be the villain. Be the bad person. You're not perfect. You're not a princess. Be comfortable with people telling you you're bad - but never NEVER let go of your gut feeling when your safety is on the line.

That fucking thing WILL save your life. Being too nice, though, might not. Listen to yourself, be TRUE to yourself, and, again, don't be afraid to be bad.

Someday you might just find your half-demon man who will support you, protect you and treat you as an equal powerhouse, but until that day, keep on conquering your self-esteem and unwavering will.

I'm just saying all of this now because:

1 - I was too scared to talk about this for a looong time afraid the guy in question would find this, know it's me and my safety would be on the line again

2 - Just now I'm getting comfortable with the concept of being "seen as the villain" and being "seen as bad". My whole life I have been dancing around this because people always said I had a "difficult" personality. I watched Cruella recently and it hit home so hard. We do have things to learn from villainous characters and maybe this is just who I am. People are going to see me as bad so, who cares. Even if I'm not, it would do me good getting used to that idea - I can be more assertive to my boundaries and not allow any of this to happen again. So, there you go. It's an exercise everyone should do. Are you comfortable defending your ideas, your boundaries and your integrity even if people are mad you're not being a pushover/perfectly polite?

It's something I think all of us should think about ;)

Also

thanks for coming to my TED Talk :')

[laugtherhyena]

I finished listening to your Ayame playlist, and I really enjoyed the songs! Especially Me and Mr. Wolf, it's really catchy with it's jazzy tune and intriguing lyrics.

And since you brought it up in your tags on that post, I'm curious on why you picked the Portuguese songs since I don't know what's being said in the lyrics.

Thanks for giving it a listen dude! Also enabling me to go insane explaining song pics haha

(tho keep in mind I'm translating these myself so it may not be the best thing ever + I'm prioritizing meaning over translating stuff as accurately as possible)

You called me to dance that day, but i never know how to spin. Each time i spun it seemed as if my leg succumbed in agony

With each step i took in this dance, i lost hope. You noticed my troubles and took it easy on the leading

Everytime i messed up you told me to loosen up as you led me. Even without swing i got into this thing, and by the end i found it alright

I only know how to dance with you, that's what love does. I only know how to dance with you, that's what love does[...]

-This is just -2+2 chapter 22 tbh/Hj

Light spoilers aside, yeah this is another song that makes me think a shit ton about Hatamori, specifically them dancing together in the ballroom scene. Finding understanding in your partner in an uncomfortable situation that gets turned into something not that bad with their presence :]

[...]You smiled and proposed me to leave you alone You said go, I didn't move

Don't be like that, Don't do anything for me, Don't start thinking I'm yours

You tell me what i should do, but doesn't try to understand that i do it just to please you. You even tell me what to wear, who to walk with and where to go, But doesn't ask me to come back

Don't be like that, Don't do anything for me, Don't start thinking I'm yours[...]

-Bouncing back into canon this one makes me think a lot about how much Ayame bottles her feelings/emotions, likely out of not wanting to bother others with problem she doesn't know how to deal with herself; "Don't do anything for me" makes me think of that aspect of her character of not wanting people to worry or even grief over her in post trial 2.

Also the parts which are about the singer and a person wanting to distance themselves from them makes me think if her and Akane as in, Akane not wanting Ayame to have killed to save her since she didn't want her to die but Ayame does it anyway becaus she couldn't bear to let her die "You tell me what to do, but doesn't try to understand that i do it just to please you"

Also the tone of this song just sounds so ethereal to me, and i think that fits her nicely.

[...] You're going to think I don't even like myself. And in my age, only speed walks beside me

I only walk alone and in my path time is always getting shorter.

I need help, please help me, I live so alone

If by chance in a turn i think back to my world. I increase the pace, correct in a second, I can't stop

I prefer the turns on saint's road where i try to forget. The love i had of which I've saw in the mirror, getting lost in the distance

But if i find the love i once lost again, the turns come to an end, and i shall no longe cross the saint's road

The turns come to an end, and i shall no longe cross the saint's road[...]

-This one just makes me absolutely insane like,, I can't even describe it, i associate the whole song with her so so heavily. Loneliness associated with speed as in literally moving at a different place than the rest and leaving them behind even tho you desperately want to connect with them, subsequently running out of time from going so fast.

"If by a chance in a turn think back to my world" makes me think of her thought process when she saw Kizuna in the switchium. Think back to my world as in thinking about the possibility of doing things differently, before snapping out of that and settling into doing the deed with "Increase the pace, correct in a second, I can't stop"

Also "You're going to think I don't even like myself" ough ouch ouch

And the "The turns come to an end, and i shall no longer cross the saint's road" part repeats until the song ends, that paired with the singer's tone just paints the image of post trial 2 in my head. Ayame accepting her death and going through the execution as "The turns come to an end", and not crossing the saint's road because of the weight of her actions,,

I am so normal over her

[proximacalamity]

silly old thing I made because I want sarada to have a sister and I wanted to fuck around with her outfit.

[cheecats]

I’m honestly kind of annoyed about that anon because I agree with a lot of their points. Of course there’s nothing wrong with single squirrel but I don’t think it’s bad to ship her with anyone for reasons the anon said, BUT THEY JUST HAD TO BE A DICK ABOUT IT AND RUIN THE CONVO! GREAT JOB RUDE ANON!

THIS!! I AGREE!!! They made some very good points about how relationships in general (familial, romantic, friendship, e.c.t) are extremely important when pertaining to identity and self, and can be an excellent way of exploring both the couple AND the individual. I left a lot of holes in my original post and was pretty vague about the whole thing and would've been happy to keep the ball rolling to tighten everything up, because I don't even inherently believe Squirrelflight 100% has to be single. That was never what I was saying, and I don't have any issue with people shipping (healthy) relationships with her. But yEAH, they had to be really manipulative and antagonistic about getting my attention on the topic and I'm not going to subject myself to verbally abusive & passive aggressive bullshit just to discuss something I didn't even really think was going to be anything more than a single post haha

[lilacerull0]

how are you so burnt when you're barely on fire?

The Eleventh Hour | Amy's Choice | The Pandorica Opens

[cluster-b-culture-is]

cluster b culture is unintentionally outing your cluster b disorder when giving your input on one of your colleague’s suspicion of someone having bpd and correcting your other colleague’s use of ‘narcissistic’

(they were accepting and thanked me for sharing and correcting them lol)

.

[metalhoops]

9 people you want to know better

tagged by @hellion-child. Thanks so much for tagging me ❤️

Last song: Gotterdammerung- Zeal & Ardor. It's been a long day and sometimes my brain just needs very loud music to chill out, counterintuitive as it might seem.

Currently watching: Like most of Tumblr, I just finished watching Good Omens season 2. I'm also watching the latest season of What We Do in the Shadows.

Currently reading: I just finished reading 'Our Share of Night' / 'Nuestra Parte de Noche ' by Mariana Enriquez. I would recommend it if you're looking for a tome of a horror novel that gets under your skin. It's not necessarily scary but it is haunting. Plus most of the main characters are LGBT+.

Like Lovecraftian Gods, cults, kids on bikes in the 80s, haunted houses, generational trauma, a capitalism hit peace, or a story where the characters become horrible people in order to do what they think is right only for them to become the thing they fear? Then this book is for you.

Current obsession: If I'm honest I don't have much time for my obsessions. I'm currently juggling a master's degree, placement and part-time work. So free time to exist is hard to come by.

I feel like it's obvious if I tell you I love reading or writing.

If I do have spare time I enjoy art, which you might not know from my Tumblr because I don't really do fan art. I'm not that good at digital art. I tend to do ink, Berserk-like stuff because hyper-focusing on tiny details or repetitive crosshatching also scratches an itch in my brain. I also really enjoy painting flower/ nature with a palette knife.

✨No pressure tags:✨

@glygriffe  @afewproblems @strangersteddierthings @life-love-musicaltheatre @luvgods @starrystevie @scoops-stevie @loveinhawkins