#hence all the rambling

[mercurymacaroons]

arrives 15 min late with a latte

......sup

[eliounora]

my pet peeve is those "historians thought they were very good friends" jokes, like obviously for sure there are homophobic historians, but the study of same-sex desire and relationships of the past is also quite complex and you can't often go and simply label people's relationships or identities of time gone by, and sometimes it's more complicated and elusive than "they were a couple" or even "they were in love"

[helloimtired]

never being anyone’s best friend or the most important person in anyone’s life, ever, can really fuck you up emotionally

[untimelyambition]

curt and kim being dance partners in all the scenes at the castle is something that is so special to me

[etirabys]

something that peeves me in fiction – in a setting where society that hasn't mostly eliminated scarcity, anyway – is when someone really kindhearted takes in a near stranger in need (e.g. orphan, ex slave) and that person is their only project to whom they can give a lot of care. irl I feel like everyone who's exceptionally nice, or at least bad at drawing a line for their own health, has a full case load and is close to burnout

I don't mind this at all when there's a good plot reason for why X should be helping Y in particular and isn't already overbooked; I feel some ugh when X is depicted as someone who'd always help people in Y's shoes but has mysteriously evaded all other supplicants.

I'm pro-fantasy but this kind of moral fantasy strikes me as a bit uglier than the others: you can be a nurturing figure who gives unconditional help without running something so unphotogenic as a vetting interview or cost/benefit analysis, but you'll never be overwhelmed, either

[hazbinshusk]

look, take you want from apology tour, but I choose to focus on the fact that blitzø's dick game is just that GOOD

[tokkimins]

not-so-secret sauce reveal

[emerald-cloud23]

If anyone has any kind of content with Cole and Lloyd doing stuff together please let me know. Always happy to encounter things of my favorite and my comfort doing stuff together👍

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: a digital drawing of Hunter and Willow from the owl house based on the "lesbians doing makeup" meme. Hunter is lying beneath Willow, who straddles him while doing his makeup. He looks at her somewhat dazed and she looks at him fondly. the background is a mid-tone blue. End ID]

This is what they are. To me

[quinosart]

Inazuma Eleven Go Pokemon AU❗️Part 2

this time it’s my children, munetaku! I’m so happy with how they turned out, specially Shindou. Ibuki just looks like his usual loser-self which i love for him. But yeah, next time I’ll try to group some more characters and stuff about the universe

you can check the other post about this au [here!]

[setting-in-a-honeymoon]

I just want to say.

Last night, when they debuted "Bob Dylan" and everyone was talking about it on the dash, I started reflecting on my relationship to that song, how overcome with emotion I felt when it came out in 2019, how I sat and talked about it with my homeroom teacher (I was a queer junior in high school who less than a year ago stopped visiting her dad on the weekends and he was an English teacher with a very big heart, you know how it goes) because I so desperately wanted to wrap my head around what that song felt like, what it was making me feel.

"It feels like a love song, but not," was essentially my argument.

And he said, very very gently, "I think this is a break up song."

Now, we can debate all night about what the song is actually about, but that's not why I'm sharing this.

I'm sharing this because I remembered last night that by that year I had already become an avid journaler, and I looked up the release date for "Bob Dylan" and sure enough, when I flipped to that day in my notebook from that year, there was two page entry. One question my teacher I asked about the song stands out to me now.

Do I need to leave for you to love me like you love them?

Because the answer is a resounding no. Fall Out Boy does not need to leave to be loved, and everything they've done this year is a testament to that. They are here, they are here, they are here, and they are not going anywhere, and they love each other, and we love them, so, so much.

I don't know if this makes any sense, but in the quiet now that they've played their last US show, when we're all metaphysically shuffling our feet in the noisy crowded parking lot and basking in the cool night air and pointing up at the moon together, I wanted to share that.

[gingermintpepper]

Someday, eventually, I will get an opportunity to talk about Celtic Apollo.

I see a lot of discussions and content (light-hearted and not) talking about Greek Apollo and Roman Apollo but y'all don't understand; it wasn't just that Greek Apollo had a second Roman Apollo hidden in his pocket, it's that Greek Apollo also has a secret third Celtic Apollo hidden behind his back like a tramp stamp he got in college and refuses to acknowledge or show to anyone.

[it-came-autumnally]

This line is extremely funny (motherly??? hello??) but also it just reminds me of why the Minori & Airi dynamic makes me want to explode (positive).

Even though she's only a year older, Airi sees so much of her past self in Minori -- she knows what it's like to be an outsider in their industry, to be someone who's faced rejection for simply not possessing the innate “idol aura” that people like Haruka and Shizuku have. She’s not like them; and neither is Minori. Having a dream is great, but you can't become an idol purely out of desire. This is expressed very directly in the digest animation (which condenses the MMJ main story): "Just because you want something to happen doesn't mean it will."

Screenshots from MORE MORE JUMP - Journey to Bloom: [HOPE].

Airi's resigned herself to the fact that she's stuck in her role as a variety show entertainer, even though being an idol was her real dream. And, after seeing her own fate, she bluntly tells Minori that the other's passion isn't enough for her to successfully break into the industry. Despite this, Minori isn’t discouraged from her path; after all, she'd already been rejected 50 times. In her own words: she has faith -- something Airi has almost lost.

But Airi hasn't lost it completely. After some reminders from Shizuku, she reluctantly agrees to watch Minori's practices and give her some advice. It's a small ask, but one means a lot to Minori -- which Airi knows, and she's willing to give Minori a chance.

Minori has the chance to return the favor when Airi goes to confront Cheerful*Days. Even when Haruka warns her about the ugliness she's about to see, she isn't swayed. In her own words: she "care[s] too much for Momoi". Not just as a fan, but a friend* now, too.

Screenshots from the MORE MORE JUMP! main story chapter 11. *friend is a bit of a loose term here but Minori does know Airi personally by this point. Not as well as Shizuku, but better than she used to.

The affirmation of being an idol that Minori gives is huge for Airi. After being constantly denied her identity as an idol from both her managers and peers, hearing this from the girl who she had accidentally dismissed is perhaps the most powerful thing she could have heard in that moment. It's clear that Minori hasn't been disillusioned in the slightest even after seeing all the resentment and anger, and despite everything, she still believes in Airi, and her ability to spread hope as an idol.

After all that happens in the main story, Minori's presence becomes a non-negotiable part of MMJ. She is, after all, the final bit of glue that brought them together as a group. In Time to Re:Start! (Airi 1), Haruka, Airi, and Shizuku all make it extremely clear that they refuse to let their group split up. We see how Airi takes this a step further:

Screenshots from Chapter 4 of Time to Re:START!

Notably, she's willing to go back to variety programs and talent work if it means that MORE MORE JUMP! can stay together (even though doing so means that she probably would be extremely busy and have less time to do "real" idol work!)

Since Airi's offer is rejected here, we don't see the consequences of this negotiation come to fruition, but it's certainly not an offer she makes lightly. Note that Airi 2 hasn't happened yet; she still hasn't fully made peace with how her role as Happy Everyday took time away from her as "Airi Momoi the idol". Despite how painful it would be her to reprise as that role after resolving to become an "regular" idol again, Airi still makes this request as a last resort, because she would put herself through something she doesn't want rather than sacrifice Minori's dream to be an idol. This isn't something that the rest of MMJ would agree to, of course, but this cements a trend in Airi's behavior -- namely, her desire to protect Minori from the thorns of the idol industry that she's had to go through. Her Colorful Fes card gives some insight into this, where she encounters the younger version of herself (Little Airi).

Screenshots from "To You Who Wants To Be An Idol" Side Story 2.

The way Airi treats her literal younger self mirrors the way she treats Minori at the start of the MMJ main story. Even though she knows better than anyone how much being called a "tomboy" hurt her younger self, Airi still calls her that on accident. This is extremely similar to how she dismisses Minori upon their first meeting -- she of all people should know how hurtful it is, but she does it nonetheless. This time, however, she doesn't need Shizuku to remind her of her mistake, and quickly rectifies it -- a testament to how she's changed since the events of the main story.

Still Airi's ColorFes card story 2. Sorry for the spam of screenshots from this one I love this card way too much

Airi imparts the lesson she learned from Minori to Little Airi: "tomorrow will always be a better day." She shares the hope that Minori (and the rest of MMJ) shares, something she directly says she's grateful for. Meeting Minori has changed her for the better, and also allowed for her finally continue on her path towards being a "real" idol -- one that never gives up.

By the time Airi 3 happens, MMJ have taken off as online streamers. People have started to accept Minori as an idol -- but she's still a newbie when compared to the rest of the group, and lacks the same training that her fellow idols have. Nobody is more keenly aware of this than Minori herself. While she's initially practicing on her own, Airi is quick to understand what Minori's issue is, as its one that she's dealt with herself. Yet again, it comes back to seeing her past behaviors in Minori's - she's gone through the experience of trying to emulate the "idol aura," so she knows doing so is a waste. She wants to save Minori the time and effort that it took for her to learn these lessons, so that Minori is able to hasten her path towards finding the "best way to shine".

Screenshots from Chapter 6 of "Chasing The Sparkle Beyond the Blue Sky"

The other really interesting thing is how Airi tells Minori her to not put herself down -- and yet Airi does the same to herself! She needs Shizuku to reaffirm her status as a true idol and tell her the same things that Airi herself tells Minori. She's been able to relearn how to inspire others, but still needs help when it comes to having that faith in herself.

This event is a testament to how much the two of them have matured since the main story, while also showing where they still have more room to grow. The two of them still have some doubts about whether they "deserve" to be idols, but it's something that they're both working through, together with each other as well as the rest of MMJ.

In regards to Airi trying to shield Minori from going through the troubles she did, it comes into the spotlight yet again during Airi 4:

Screenshots from Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 of "Friendship Rebuilt"

This time, we see this behavior explicitly stated: "I don't want her to experience what I did back then". Minori is her own person, and Airi respects her ability to make her own decisions, but she can't help but see her past self in the other, even after how far they've come. She's worried; Minori may be strong, but Airi wants to make sure that she can avoid having to go through the same pain she did.

This all comes full circle then, when Airi excitedly talks about her upcoming school trip to Kyoto.

Screenshots from the "I'm Excited Too" (Pandemonium/Spirited Affair 2*) side story 1.

After constantly being the one looked after, Minori finally gets another chance to be happy for Airi. For once, Airi doesn't have to sacrifice her own happiness for work, and for that, she's glad. It's the least she can do for the girl who's been protecting her all this time, and its a step towards Minori truly becoming an equal to the idols she's looked up to her whole life.

MMJ as a whole unit is about spreading hope and joy -- more specifically, about sharing hope and joy. The reason both Minori and Airi decide to become idols in the first place is because they were cheered up by idols in their childhood, and wanted to do the same for others. Minori is able to finally become an idol herself after she helps Airi (as well as Shizuku and Haruka) regain their own hope and passion; Airi does her best to guide Minori down a path that is as least painful as possible in return. MMJ's stories focus so much on the idea of paying it forward it truly drives me crazy to see how Minori and Airi's dynamic really embodies that ideal, where Minori will never stop uplifting her friends while Airi always looks out for them.

[naturecalls111]

Wish I never had to sleep I wish I could just stay awake all the time and do nothing but draw and had no responsibilities

[daydreamalley]

A Ramble about Phase 19 of the Fifteen Manga Ft. Storm Bringer spoilers

Just absolutely cannot get over the 15 manga. I love the light novel so much, but this manga adaptation is so ridiculously amazing. Dazai and Chuuya’s proximity/touching has been amazing of course. I adore the way Hoshikawa draws Dazai and Chuuya as well (my baby boys, especially Chuuya). But these last two chapters with Rimbaud and Verlaine. Like, fuck. The whole “At least, one of them felt that way,” part just hits so much harder in the manga for me, with the art and page placement. And this whole most recent chapter. Like firstly, you don’t have to end every chapter with like Chuuya getting stabbed okay, help me out here.

Comparing the last page of phase 18 with Verlaine and the first page of phase 19 with Chuuya makes it so obvious that Rimbaud is seeing the similarities between them with just that parallel, which is confirmed later with Rimbaud quite literally seeing Verlaine standing behind Chuuya. 

Not to mention in phase 18 the “That’s right Paul, I remember you,” in conjunction with him seeing Verlaine in Chuuya.

Then that flashback with Verlaine carrying Chuuya and Chuuya’s just so small I could cry.

Like, I knew he was small, but he's just so young, I can't. People were experimenting on him. Like, how??

The way Rimbaud wants to ask Chuuya something and Chuuya crouches down to him. Which leads to Rimbaud putting a hand around Chuuya as he tells him to live. How close and personal they are when Rimbaud says all of this just make it feel so much more impactful for Chuuya. Kinda love too that Chuuya isn't just standing over Rimbaud. He's making it obvious he's open to listening.

Rimbaud says a lot of shitty things to Chuuya up to this point, even complaining that he has to kill a kid while only referring to Dazai, completely not acknowledging Chuuya as anything more than Arahabaki. But once he fully remembers what happened with Verlaine, I feel like that’s when Rimbaud remembers what he truly believed about Verlaine and his humanity and how that extends to Chuuya’s humanity. Because Rimbaud’s whole final speech is most definitely things he’d also thought of or told Verlaine before (as I think is confirmed in SB). I think those are Rimbaud’s true thoughts and beliefs on the matter, it just took that long for him to remember the full story and how he felt about it all. Rimbaud saw Verlaine’s struggles with humanity, and now he also remembers why Verlaine betrayed him. And so he tells Chuuya to live, just as Verlaine wanted him to back then, live without the burden of worrying about your humanity or where you came from, because “you are you.” It doesn’t matter if Chuuya (and Verlaine) “are but a pattern etched on the surface of raw power.” In Rimbaud’s mind, and honestly where we eventually end up at the end of SB, is that it really doesn’t matter what your origins are, whether someone is an artificial personality (aka pattern) etched onto raw power, because really everything is some version of a pattern upon the world. And in a word with abilities, a lot of people are a pattern connected to a power. Just as in SB Chuuya decides that even though Adam isn’t human and he knows it, it doesn’t take away from Adam’s actions, his sacrifices, or his dreams. Same goes for Chuuya and Verlaine. Their origins don't affect how human they truly are. Their humanity is significant no matter what. It just took a bit more convincing for Chuuya to get there, a little more than what Rimbaud could offer on his (almost) deathbed.

Anyway, Chuuya holding Rimbaud’s hand as he dies just does things to me. Like, the book described that “Both Chuuya and Dazai quietly listened as if there was something in what Randou (Rimbaud) was saying that they couldn’t allow themselves to miss… Some things, however, would not return to normal: the body of a man who no longer felt the cold, and the hearts of two boys who stood rooted to the spot, staring at him. A gust of wind peered through their souls as it passed them by.”

This page just so well depicts that last line. It truly feels these boys have heard something so monumental, that they won’t ever forget. Standing in the aftermath of their first fight together, hearing these words about humanity that both mean so much to both of them. Dazai’s expressions really convey this to me in the manga, and convey it just so beautifully. And Chuuya being so close to Rimbaud when he speak those words just makes it feel like those words truly are so monumental for him. And also this means that Chuuya fought to kill a man, that to be entirely fair and clear was trying to kill him first, and then held to his hand as he dies, and there’s just something about this added detail that’s so significant to me in portraying the weight of it on Chuuya. Chuuya's connection to Rimbaud is a complicated but important one. But really these words are important for both boys, because let’s not forget that Dazai also struggles with his humanity. Even if he doesn’t have a physical reason to doubt his humanity, like Chuuya, there are many other reasons that he does doubt it. So hearing that all people and all of humanity are really just patterns within the physical world, human or not that’s true of everyone and everything, and that’s important for Dazai to hear too. I think both boys think back to Rimbaud’s final speech quite a bit, if I’m being honest or did for a while.

I am NOT getting over the detail that someone (Chuuya??) put Rimbaud’s scarf on his grave. I just… it does something to me and I love that detail so much. And cutting back to that “You are you” line while Chuuya’s talking to the grave is just so perfect in my opinion, and again just shows the significance of it so, so well. It’s like, he's talking to Rimbaud, complaining about his actions really, and then it cuts to that “you are you” and it just shows almost the contrast I guess between Chuuya feeling unrest at not finding stuff about his past that Rimbaud could’ve given him, but maybe wouldn’t have anyway, and Rimbaud’s statement that those things don’t matter because Chuuya is who he is beyond all that. Also the little dandelion blowing into the wind, to me also signifying a wish being spread.

Anyway, entirely unnecessary to end the chapter with a big knife in Chuuya’s back, thanks. Especially after Chuuya mentions how he’s still exhausted from everything. Like let’s just, stop, please.

He's just a boy, leave him alone for the sake of all things good.

[seaweedstarshine]

Late to the game as I’ve kinda been kinda non-here for a minute but I scrolled through the Dot and Bubble tag, and thought I wanted to write this post into existence.

There's this part in Doctor Who Unleashed where RTD says this:

“What we can’t tell is how many people will have worked that out before the ending. Because they’ve seen white person after white person after white person, and television these days is very diverse. I wonder, will you be ten minutes into it, will you be fifteen, will you be twenty, before you start to think, everyone in this community is white. And if you don’t think that — why didn’t you? So, that’s gonna be interesting. I hope it’s one of those pieces of television you see, and always remember.”

And I'm like. Yeah. But the reason this works even as well as it does is largely thanks to the work of the previous showrunner with the previous creative team, which was notably the first era to have any writers of color (amongst other firsts in terms of inclusivity in directors, composer, actors). While Chibnall fumbled whenever he tried to write about race himself, he did have the self-awareness to have Black and South Asian writers writing the episodes where race is the focus (and a female writer for the episode where sexism is a focus; my point is, he seemed to know his shortcomings).

I wonder what the current creative team looks like? (not really, but I wasn't 100% sure for all of them)

To quote RTD:

“...before you start to think, everyone in this community is white.”

This is pretty non-self-aware, right? It's pretty “It is said, and I understand this, there was a history of racism with the original Toymaker, the Celestial Toymaker, who had ‘celestial,’ and I did not know this, but ‘celestial’ can mean of Chinese origin, but in a derogatory way,” right? (from The Giggle Unleashed) It's pretty “and I had problems with that, and a lot of us on the production team had problems with that: associating disability with evil,” right? (from Destination Skaro Unleashed)

—none of which are issues that should be overlooked, but think how much exponentially better they might’ve been addressed if he’d consulted with Chinese writers and wheelchair-using writers before going straight to giving the Toymaker weird fake accents and making Davros walk?

How many Black or non-white people do we think saw the Dot and Bubble script before it landed in Ncuti’s hands?

And this just keeps happening.

And like, from some of the shocked responses I've seen from white viewers to the ending of Dot and Bubble, maybe the episode's unsubtlety was needed? From the way RTD talks about it in Unleashed, the episode was written with a white audience in mind, Baby's First Microaggressions (where of course the microaggressions come from people who are pretty self-admittedly white supremacists). Ricky September, a more seemingly normal depiction of someone in the racist bubble of Finetime, seemed like an interesting element, up until the way he died.

The ending worked for me, because I do think the Doctor's reaction is true to how the Doctor would react. I just keep thinking of how much better the core themes could've been handled by someone with actual lived experience on the subject matter.