#like yes. you are my dad now. and you have three other kids (your limit) who were grilled the same way. and we love each other but

[etirabys]

something that peeves me in fiction – in a setting where society that hasn't mostly eliminated scarcity, anyway – is when someone really kindhearted takes in a near stranger in need (e.g. orphan, ex slave) and that person is their only project to whom they can give a lot of care. irl I feel like everyone who's exceptionally nice, or at least bad at drawing a line for their own health, has a full case load and is close to burnout

I don't mind this at all when there's a good plot reason for why X should be helping Y in particular and isn't already overbooked; I feel some ugh when X is depicted as someone who'd always help people in Y's shoes but has mysteriously evaded all other supplicants.

I'm pro-fantasy but this kind of moral fantasy strikes me as a bit uglier than the others: you can be a nurturing figure who gives unconditional help without running something so unphotogenic as a vetting interview or cost/benefit analysis, but you'll never be overwhelmed, either

[awriterinthenight]

10 Things I Hate About You-Luke Castellan Au, Part 1

words: 1223

warnings: language, uhhhh I don't know about anything else, but I will add new ones for new chapters. This is mostly just the set up, more of the plot will be in the next chapter, and I kept the last name Stratford and made the sister's name Bianca cause it was easier than creating new names, plus I really liked sticking those names cause I love the movie

summary: 10 Thing I Hate About You au with Luke Castellan. Chris a new camper comes into the Hermes cabin and him and the Stolls are on a mission to get you to allow your sister Bianca to date, and who else besides Luke Castellan would be willing to do it.

The Stratford sisters were known for being off limits. They were also quite the anomaly, having two different dads, but the same mom. Usually one god had one kid with one mortal then bounced, leaving them on their own. But not the Stratford sisters. The older one Y/N was a child of Hades, while the younger one, Bianca, was a child of Apollo. Quite the opposites, but they were everything to each other.

But the other thing was that neither of them dated. Ever. Y/N just wasn't into people, and would rather eat rocks than date "the unwashed miscreants" (in her words) at camp. Bianca was longing to go out with a guy, but her sister didn't let her since she didn't trust anyone, and her sister followed her rule, not wanting to disrespect her.

Y/N knew this rule wasn't the best, but she'd rather have her sister be annoyed at her than have her dating some guy that treated her like shit. No one was able to date either of them no matter how hard they tried. Y/N was rather rude to people and annoyed, so no one wanted to be near her let alone date her, but everyone wanted Bianca.

***

When Chris arrived at camp he was claimed as a Hermes kid, and quickly introduced to the Stoll brothers who showed him around.

"Hi, I'm Chriss, Chiron said you would show me around," he greeted, a but nervous.

They nodded, ushering him out of the cabin, "Yup, that's our job. I'm Connor, this is my older brother Travis," he said, introducing him and his brother.

Chris nodded following the brothers on the tour around camp. "Alright to break it down, over here is the Big Three, Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, but there's only a couple of those kids, and I advise you to avoid the Hades kid," he said, pointing out each cabin. Now he started pointing at groups of people and some cabins, "Those are the Aphrodite kids, don't talk to them unless they talk to you first," Connor warns.

"Is that their rule or yours?" Chris asks out of curiosity.

Connor sighs saying, "Watch," now turning towards the Aphrodite kids, "How's it going."

Which just got him a lot of dirty looks and side eyes, and some rude replies.

"Bite me."

"Ugh, as if."

Travis put his hand on Chris' shoulder, "See what I tell you. Alright over here we have the Demeter kids. Super into plants and the environment, but mostly they-" Travis says, before getting cut off.

"Smoke a lot of weed," Chris finishes.

Connor nods, "Yes. Now here's Clarisse and the Ares kids, now unless you want your ass handed to you I advise that you stay away. Hephaestus kids, mostly dweebs, but they're rather nice people. The Dionysus kids are drink snobs, only drink artisanal shit, you know that type," he says, moving towards a table of people.

"Hey guys, how's it going," he says, but everyone just closes their books and turns away from him. Sighing, Connor turns away from them and back towards Chris.

"We pull one prank and suddenly they hate us," Travis says, his arms crossed. Chris had stopped paying attention when he saw Bianca walk by.

"I pine, I burn, I perish," he said, looking at her in amazement.

Connor shakes his head at Chris' antics, "Nope, sorry she's off limits. It's well known the Stratford sisters don't date, especially her," Connor explains, having to close Chris' jaw for him.

Chris stumbles over his words, before getting out, "Wha- what do you mean she doesn't date," he asks confused. How could someone like her not date?

"Her sister is a bit whacked, she won't let her date. Plus, she's not as deep as you think she is, listen," he says, moving Chris to hear Bianca's conversation.

"See there's a difference between love and love. I like my yellow converse, but I love my Tiffany bracelet," she explains to her friend.

"But, I love my Converse too," her friend says, a bit bubbly and confused.

Bianca shrugs, "Well that's cause you don't have a Tiffany bracelet," she says, a bit bluntly.

The Stolls steer Chris away from Bianca, "See you have no chance, sorry to break it to you, but put her away in your fantasies and say goodbye," Travis says, patting Chris' shoulder.

"No you're wrong. Well not about the fantasies part, but I can have a chance," Chris says, trying to hype him and the brothers up.

Connor sighs saying, "Alright you can try. She's looking for a Latin tutor if that helps."

"That's perfect," Chris exclaims.

The brothers give him a weird look, "You speak Latin?" they ask, confused since not many people know Latin.

"Well no, but I will," Chris says, excited that he might have a chance with Bianca.

***

1st Person Y/N

I was at sword fighting practice led by one of the Ares counselors.

"Alright I want everyone to partner up and try what I just demonstrated," he says, letting everyone off to practice.

I roll my eyes, "I wish he'd actually teach us something besides the same two defenses," I complain, getting into a fighting stance.

Unfortunately he overheard me, "What did you say?" he asked, annoyed by my presence in general.

I scoff, "I said, why can't we learn something useful? We learn the same two skills basically every week," I tell him.

Before he can tell me off, Luke walks into the lesson asking, "So what did I miss?"

"This asshole is not teaching us anything new," I complain, annoyed by both of them.

"Great, keep up the good work," he says, before running off.

"Hey, get back here," he yells at Luke, "Whatever, you can go to Chiron if you have a problem," he tells me.

I roll my eyes, picking up my bag and sword, "Sure, whatever," I say, leaving the arena.

***

3rd person

It was the end of the day and everyone was heading to dinner. Chris was watching Bianca walk to dinner with her siblings, and some Ares kid was doing the same, but in a more lustful way.

"That's out of reach even for you, Joey," one of his friends said.

Joey just shook his head, "No one's out of reach for me," Joey said, rather confidently.

"You wanna put money on that?" his friend asked, wanting to make a bet.

"Nah, this I'm gonna do for fun," he said, scheming a plan.

Joey walked up to Bianca and her friend, putting his arms around them. Connor was walking with Chris and wasn't paying attention when he walked right into Y/N.

"Remove head from sphincter, then walk," she said, aggravated at Connor's lack of surroundings. She walked off with her friend Eva from the Iris cabin.

Chris ran over to Connor asking, "Hey, you okay?"

Connor nodded, "Yeah, just a minor encounter with the shrew," he said bitterly, "That's your girlfriend's sister."

"Sister? But aren't they in different cabins?" Chris asked, confused.

Connor nodded, "Yeah, but they have the same mom, it's a whole thing. Don't worry about it," Connor said, walking off towards dinner. Unfortunately for him, he tripped and ended up rolling down a hill. But, he was okay and stood up, spreading his arms out in victory of surviving.

[marymary-diva17]

Hot summer days (modern au)

It is very relevant right now as now the summer has reached, hot summer days so I thought I will make a post about it.

The summer time a great time to have vacations and enjoy, the beautiful days of summer after all the other seasons. When it comes to summer there are very hot day, that reach the temperatures so hot that there are limited stuff to do. Soon these hot days are mostly spent on trying to cool off, not getting that much effect but sun.

Jake " gosh it so hot"

y/n " it going to be hot all well Jake"

Jake " yeah all training on base will be held indoor if they can, but mostly it will be paperwork and some other task"

y/n " that good"

neytiri " I will be at the clinic hot days like this always send patients to us, we are also doing work with the community center near by"

y/n " well both of you be safe today and drink enough water as well"

Jake " we will sweetie"

y/n " I sucks we couldn't get ac in the house but we do have enough fans"

Jake " oh yes fans from our adulthood and ones we got after we got the house"

y/n " yes"

neytiri " but we definitely need to get ac for next year"

y/n " yes that is true even due the fans are good it, will be good to have ac as well"

????? " good morning" the three adult had looked to see neteyam standing there.

Jake " you are up early Buddy you mostly sleep in a bit longer, during the summer times"

neteyam " I couldn't anymore the heat had gotten to me, so I woke up took a cold shower and got dressed"

neytiri " oh teyam"

Jake " where are the rest of the crew"

lo'ak" we are all up and dressed as well it was a good time to go shopping, for shorts last week"

Jake " good because we all need to be make sure we stay cool today"

lo'ak " I and the boys had plans to visit the stake park today, but it to hot to be doing that"

y/n " I'm sorry buddy maybe if get cooler you all can go"

kiri " if that happens but my cactus seem to be doing well in this heat"

lo'ak " oh great for your cactus kiri they are doing super while we are all getting fried in this heat"

kiri " hey I was giving some positive I also don't like this heat"

neytiri " we are all in the same boat kids hot days suck but we are not, going to fight each other right now"

kids " yes mom"

y/n " we can still find some fun to do kids even if that means, spending all the day inside"

tuk " oh can me make homemade popsicles"

y/n " yes we can and we even have ice cream as well thanks to your dad"

Jake " hey I will not let my family go without ice cream on hot days"

tuk " thank you dad"

neytiri " well I and Jake need to get to work but please leave some ice cream or popsicles for us"

kids " yes ma'am" Jake and neytiri soon left quickly hoping into their cars, and leaving the house it didn't take that long until there was a knock at the door.

lo'ak " hey spider bro you are here"

spider ' yeah sorry for taking so long I decided to take a shower and find, some perfect clothes to wear during this heat"

y/n " hey kiddo"

spider " hey auntie"

tuk " we are going to make popsicles"

kiri " it good you are here spider now we need to wait for everyone else"

aonung " we are here now to grace everyone with our present"

lo'ak " oh so we are being curse I see"

aonung " haha very funny still failing that trick I see"

rotxo " can you both fight inside the air conditioner house" the teens soon came into the house.

y/n " hello children it good you are all here"

tsireya " thank you for having us over our mom said to bring you some strawberries as a thank you"

y/n " aww thank you kids"

lo'ak " we are in lucky today as we are making popsicle"

rotxo " that amazing" the kids are hanging downstairs cooling off, and finding ways to entertain themselves as well. It a hot day right now you were not doing, that to much that will make you overwhelmed. The kids had helped you make popsicles after they took a break, from what they were doing. They seem to be having a good time.

y/n " hey kids the popsicles are ready"

tuk " yeah" the kids had taken the popsicle's they wanted and soon sat in the living room with you.

loak “ these are good mama”

y/n “ well I’m happy you all love them”

Kiri “ it cool we made some of them with water and the other with yogurt”

y/n “ yes I use to make these when I was younger living, with your mom and dad during our hot summer days”

neteyam “ didn’t dad take you and mom with him on a road trip one summer”

y/n “ yes it was fun and we were dating during that time, so we got a RV and headed off on the road”

Tuk “ can we do that one day mama beauty please”

y/n “ sure we can do that your dad has been talking about doing a group trip, as we had done trips with our group”

tsireya “ that sounds amazing we can go see all the wonderful places, we love by traveling on the road”

Kiri “ if a big enough RV for us all I’m good”

y/n “ I can make that happy”

Ao’nung “ have these popsicle makes the heat bearable, but it this hot”

y/n “ the heat will go down soon kiddo maybe we able to get some sleep tonight” the group had laughed as they all lay around, enjoying the coolness of the room.

later on that night

Jake “ hey we are home we brought some food and guests”

y/n “ hey everyone”

ronal “ hello we came over to enjoy a cool evening with family and friends”

tonowari “ along with we didn’t feel like cooking today as well”

y/n “ I understand I was going to do takeout as well, for the family as turning anything on to cook is no go”

Tsu’tey “ we also learned you made popsicles as well”

y/n “ yes and there enough to go around as well”

norm “ sweet next hot day at the laboratory in stay at home like you”

y/n “ told you so I love it there but when it gets hot,it not good”

Jake “ well I’m going to put the food down and get myself a popsicle, because I need one right now” the food was place down as everyone went to themselves popsicles, and joining everyone else in the living room while talking about their days. Also a future trip with everyone taking a fun road trip as well, during the summer time. Even due the day was a hot day of summer it had been memorable and rewarding in the end.

[chickensarentcheap]

More for the muse :)

@tragiclyhip @watermeezer @youflickedtooharddamnit @secretaryunpaid

“By the way…” she swivels her stool around to face the bed. “...what the hell are you doing?”

“Just relaxing. Taking a breather before I have to get dressed. And I should; get dressed.”

“Here I was thinking you were going ‘grey sweat chic’ for Christmas dinner. And could you do me a favour? When you do get dressed?”

“Maybe…”

“Could you please wear pants OTHER than jeans? And underwear?”

Removing his forearm from over his eyes, he raises his head to look at her. “Am I being punished for something?”

“If there was ever a time for underwear, it’s now. If it was just us and the kids, I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t give a shit if you walked around in boxers and no shirt. In fact, I’d enjoy it very much. But with my mom and step dad here and Desi…”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t want to get Desi all riled up. Or more riled up than he already is. If he realizes I’m not wearing underwear…”

“He’s already seen you in your sweats. And jeans that are practically falling off you. I highly doubt you can excite him anymore than you already have. But regular pants. And underwear. I’m not asking for much here.”

“I can bust out the regular pants and underwear. Just for you.”

“And a shirt with no holes.”

“Okay now you’re crossing a line. I can give you two out of the three. Choose wisely.”

“Just humour me. Please? And that’s not what I meant when I asked what you’re doing. I meant what are you doing with that doll? Are you trying to burp it?”

He glances down; frowning at the sight of his palm alternating between patting the toy on the back and rubbing it slow, smooth circles. “Jesus...fuck…”

“You were!” Esme laughs, and clamps a hand over her mouth. “You WERE trying to burp it! Oh my God. Baby, you’re so cute.”

“See what you’ve done to me? Giving me seven kids? It’s all I think about now. Babies. My body just does shit like that. I don’t even realize I’m doing it. It just happens.”

���Yes, because it was entirely up to me to have THAT many kids. I was stopping after four, remember? That was the limit we finally agreed on. But who changed their mind? Twice? Who was it that didn’t follow the post op restrictions and rules after his vasectomy? I wonder who THAT was.”

“Your other husband.”

“My sparsely tattooed Latin boy that comes and cleans the pool when you’re away.”

He gives a derisive snort. “Remind me when we get home to fire him.”

“He has nothing on you. You’re still the sexiest man alive. No one can do the things you can. And by the way, you are so adorable. I should have taken a video and posted it on Instagram. Talk about a wasted opportunity.”

“You know those divorce papers you joked about last night? If you had taken that video and posted it, I would have sent you those papers.”

“You would never. You’d miss me way too much. I guess you’re missing babies way too much, too. If you’re doing shit like that and not even realizing it.”

“Force of habit, I guess. And by the way, your daughter is a terrible mother. She hasn’t even had this kid for twenty-four hours and she’s already dumping it off on me so she can run around and have fun.”

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #237

When was the last time you climbed over a fence? Not since I was a kid, I think. Never for trespassing, by the way.

Does your pet wear a collar? So Roman, usually yes, but he hasn't for a while because Mom got a new phone number so the number on his tag is wrong. We're poor and printing a new tag is an expense for us. Cookie has a collar (I... think? I'm blanking right now), but not a tag because the tags that are easily available for us to print are too big for her. She's a chihuahua. Even if it annoys her though, she needs one.

What is the first thing on your Christmas wishlist? I have a feeling I'm going to be asking primarily for a gaming desktop PC. This laptop hasn't had the memory to support WoW since the new xpac pre-patch dropped, and I've found I really miss it. Laptops are limiting with gaming, so a desktop would be nice I'm sure.

What would you do if your mom/dad saw a hickey on you? Mom has before. I think she's usually ignored it, but she's made comments before, which just embarrass me. I'd be even more uncomfortable if Dad commented on it.

What could you say is your biggest time waster? Probably watching YouTube.

Are you a sound sleeper? No. I don't even think it matters how exactly I sleep at night, I have sleep apnea so I'm kinda fucked no matter how "well" I think I sleep.

If you were pregnant, who would you tell first? Realistically, Mom would probably find out first. I live with her and I'd be hysterical (in a very negative way), so...

Do you think that you’re good enough for the one you like? Sometimes I do, more often I don't.

Did you speak to your father today? I haven't spoken to my dad since my nephew's birthday party last month.

What is your father’s middle name? John.

When was the last time you had alcohol? It's been a while.

Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch? I know a few.

Do you know anyone with asthma? Me, my mom, and I think my youngest niece.

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? No. Apparently around the divorce Dad threatened to fight for custody just to be hateful (this is according to Mom though, who literally hates him), but he never seriously did, which didn't surprise me at all, it's not like he was ever enthusiastic about acting like a dad.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? I'm sure no. Our "types" are very different.

Any other names your parents planned to give you? The only name I know of is Kathryn.

Are you healthy? Nope.

Which was the last book that really captivated you? Truly and deeply, The Handmaid's Tale.

Have you ever had a teacher you got really close with? This happened with multiple teachers for me.

When’s the last time you spent time with your cousins? It's been years upon years upon years upon years. Honestly, maybe a decade.

If you had to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? I want my nostril re-pierced.

Ever been kissed under fireworks? No.

The person you fell the hardest for says they never felt anything for you. What do you say? Bullshit.

Is the last person you kissed mad at you? No.

Has the person you like ever made you upset? Sure, we've dated for three years, that's normal to occasionally happen.

Scenario: If you were getting unwanted attention by some creeper, would the person you like stand up for you? I'm certain he would.

When angry, do you get loud or quiet? It depends, I've done both.

Have you ever been in a secret relationship? I suppose you could say that, with Joel. It wasn't an official relationship, though.

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror naked? God no, I appreciate my eyes.

Are your grandparents still alive? No.

Ever been in a car accident? Yes.

Do you like any of Justin Bieber’s songs? None of the extreme few I've heard.

When you were a kid, did you ever like Barney? I sure did.

Have you ever had champagne? Did you like it? No.

Is going mushroom hunting in the woods something that would interest you? I would go looking for mushrooms to photograph, but that's it.

What were you doing the last time you hung out with a friend? Girt's more than a friend, but whatever. We watched TV.

Is there anything about you that might cause others to dislike you? I AM politically judgmental when it comes to serious political issues. For example, I have trouble actually bonding with right-wing people. I can be perfectly polite and everything to you, but you will not be my friend if you, say, are transphobic.

What was the last big change you made to your physical appearance? That would be whatever year it was when I cut my hair real short. I think 2018.

If you have any pets, do they seem to notice when you’re sick or sad? I think Roman notices, at least when I lay down in bed. I very much think he's aware when I cry that something is off.

Are your hobbies something you’d rather do alone or with others? Mostly alone.

Is there anything about yourself that you’re trying to improve? A LOT!!!!! I want to stop catastrophizing, jumping to conclusions, letting anxiety control me, being so secretive about myself for no proper reason... There's a lot.

What are some of your favorite words? Serendipity, tranquility, serenity, felicity, words like that.

Are there any holidays you used to celebrate, but no longer do? Easter, Halloween, and the 4th come to mind first.

Do you watch music videos? Only Rammstein's.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping? Three days because I was manic. My body no less than gave out, I basically passed out.

Ever clicked on those banner ads that promise a prize for clicking? No, I'm too familiar with how the Internet works. Even as a kid I didn't believe that stuff.

Do you think machines will take over the world? IF things keep up the way they are, I would not be even remotely surprised.

Ever had a weight change so drastic you went to the doctor? No. I've gone through drastic weight loss, but I knew why.

How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater? Like, 40s. UNLESS there's wind.

Do you usually get your homework done on time? When I was in school, yes.

Do you have a digital camera? I have a Canon.

Have you ever stuck something inappropriate in an electrical outlet? No.

What is your calendar pic for October? I don't have a calendar, just a planner. The months don't have pictures.

Is there a car you REFUSE to drive? You wouldn't see me in a Tesla because Elon can go to hell.

Have you ever lived in a brand new house? Ha, no.

Has anyone ever pulled a gun on you? Jesus, no.

Are there any chairs in your bedroom? No.

Roughly, how often do you get sick per year? Not often at all. Maybe just once.

Do you go to the doctor, using holistic methods, or do nothing when sick? I go to the doctor and/or use OTC meds.

What was the last reason you cried? My psychiatry appointment left me very upset.

Do people who judge bother you a lot? I think it depends what you're judging about. Harmless shit, that REALLY bothers me. If you're judging someone for being gay or something that just totally doesn't matter, then I judge the hell outta you. It very much depends on the seriousness of the matter and the level of obsession.

What about arrogance? Arrogant people drive me absolutely insane, y'all are gross.

Do you know anyone with Type 1 Diabetes? Uh... I know many people with diabetes, but admittedly idk if it's type one or two.

Do you have a lot of pictures of you and your friends? No. I've gotten better about it, but I'm very uncomfortable in front of cameras.

Do you own anything with the Playboy Bunny on it? Nope.

Where is the last beach you went to? Idk, it was probably Carolina Beach.

Have you ever been rock climbing? No.

Do you own a bean bag chair? No.

Are you the one in a group to talk a lot or do you listen? Listen, generally.

Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh yes, I loved holding them as a child. I'm more hesitant as an adult because I actually don't know how to differentiate potentially harmful ones from non-dangerous, I just got lucky as a kid I guess haha.

Have you ever met someone famous? Who? Do tell! Nope.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom and niece. I feel bad for Emerson, I was in bad shape and I think she was confused.

Do you think age matters in relationships? If minors are involved, it absolutely does. I don't care what adults do together.

How many times a year do you go on vacation? Do you tend to go to the same places each time? We don't have the money for vacations and haven't since I was a child.

How many times did it take you to pass your driving test? I've never tried it. I don't even have an active permit anymore.

When you’re in trouble, do your parents ever “middle name” you? Mom does.

If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be? My weight.

What color was the last vehicle you traveled in? Does this vehicle belong to you or someone else? Navy. It actually belongs to our family friend/landlord, she lent us her old van because our car is toast.

Are you patriotic at all? Why/why not? HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HELL FUCKING NO the USA fucking sucks

Have you ever had to wear a white lab coat before? Was this in school or for a job? Yes actually, during my last college attempt, it was required for lab days in my science class.

Would you ever want to do the same career(s) as your parents? No.

[jaspertheabsol]

!Eeveelution Explore Beyond your Limits!

Chapter 2 [A Unfamiliar Ribbon]

[Few hours go by . . ]

Mike begins to wake up as Laz comes over

"I'm sorry that happened to you, also sorry for gaslighting you.."

I massage my cheek where I got punch as I sigh

"It's okay my fault I made you do that, where is our step sister anyway"

She finishes making food, although why is she making so much?

"Uhm Step-sis why are you making so much today?"

"Yeah you going to a party after this?"

We both say confused by this, but shrug at it and think this is free

"Don't you dare touch it, we have a new roommate coming here and welcome her. She's.. a old friend of mine who came to the island planning to stay with us till family moves over here in a year or two."

Right on time too, as all three hear the knocking

"I'll get it!"

I shout rushing over to open it

"Hel—"

Slams the door on her as ribbons slip around the doorframe and strap him onto the door letting herself in

"You live here?? Omg :D!"

Happy Sylveon noises as she snuggles him

"What was that slam abo—"

Sees her best friend for some reason snuggling Mike

"You two know each other?"

Mike sighs

"We used to date..."

"Until he had to move, so we broke up! So now we are friends!"

"Then stop snuggling! Also we only dated because your dad was willing to give us a temporary home until I inherited my parents wealth."

She let's go and everyone watches him getting ready to head out.

"uh where you going?"

Karen tilts her head unsure what's up with him right now

"I'm going out for a stroll, I'll be back for dinner. She can stay next door with you for the meantime till we settle her in alright?"

He smiles at her, but it made her uncomfortable about something as he shuts the door and heads into town towards the Guild. Once inside he headed over towards the billboard for today thinking about taking on easy missions, rumors start to be heard abit more loudly. As a Pikachu approach him not trying to be hostile.

"Hey Mikey. Boss needs you, also stop taking missions you are too high level for. You're a SS adventure do your job."

"Mind your business.."

Mikey says heading down towards the Boss which is a Doctor Lucario.

"Ah hey Mikey glad you can make it I wanted to talk with you about something"

Mike would look at him to give full attention.

"I'm listening what is it?"

Lucario would sit down and stare at him

"Wild pokèmom are hoarding the dungeons, but killing them don't spill blood. We've lost pokèmom seems like the old dungeons that were easy gotten harder."

Takes a sip of his coffee.

"Your new job is to Patrol the town until we figure a way to invade those dungeons again, we've heard a rumor a Sylveon has been spotted murdering pokèmom without remorse. Do you understand Mike?"

"Yes sir.. but why haven't we caught that Sylveon?"

The Lucario sighs

"I don't know kid.. we have 12 Sylveon in this town alone, we cant investigate them and cause public panic alright?"

"Alright, fair enough."

Later that day he would arrive back to his treehouse heading down to the kitchen.

"Yo guys! I'm ba—"

No one in sight let alone a open fire just chilling there, goes shutting it off as he walks around the treehouse trying to not let go of his guard.

"Laz! Karen! Sylveon where are you?!"

He would go into Karen's room and immediately runs towards Laz room hoping nothing happens to him, but as soon he opens the door he would be struck by a shovel knocking him out as the Sylveon gives a grin smile.

He opens his eyes and finds his step-family and looks around, sees the Sylveon and eyes widen as he muffles "no!! No!! It can't be!"

"oh please be quiet. I'm still the same girl, I'm just a cannibal and obsessed to eat you."

Mike would gulp and tries to think I'm what to do in this sort of situation, he is just being wrapped by her ribbons than the others did she expected me to wake up this early or was planning to do?

"So who's first on the menu? I got ideas and I'm very happy to try em! Maybe we should try Mike!"

The others would move trying to find something to make her not do it, though it isn't working and begin to tear. Mike just closes his eyes acting like he accepted his fate.

"Wonderful! Less struggle more I get to eating you all!"

She pulls him close and moves the ribbon from his face as he uses Frost breath right at her face. Causing her to scream at the top of her lungs letting go of him, as he Quick Attacks her and slams her onto the wall making her drop some blood?

"Your not disappearing??"

He yells at her and knees down towards her.

"I'm real... I just ate pokèmom and couldn't stop.. so I risk it to eat you three, didn't expect my ex was a high level.."

He sighs and as he unties everybody else, as he ties her up.

[starlightshoals]

Link's Awakening DX (Review)

-Part 1: My History with the Series-

So, let's start with a bit of background. Before this year, I had never finished a Zelda game, or even played one for longer than an hour or two. I remember watching my dad play through the entirety of Ocarina of Time when I was a little kid, and I have hazy memories of trying out Wind Waker, Minish Cap and Majora's Mask. But for some reason, Zelda as a franchise never quite caught on with me. I had a mild interest and appreciation for the series from a distance, but certain aspects of the gameplay turned me off growing up. As a kid who loved platformers and Metroidvanias where fluidity of movement is vitally important, playing as Link in those games just felt awkward - he couldn't jump, he was sluggishly slow, it seemed as if you had to constantly go into your inventory to switch out items, and a lot of the puzzly elements felt obtuse, unintuitive, and dragged the pace even further to a crawl. For me it left the impression that Zelda simply wasn't a series I could enjoy playing.

As I got older, though, I can see how that may have changed. I got into more games where puzzles play a central role, like Portal and the Silent Hill series. In fact, Silent Hill's methodical lock-and-key based exploration isn't entirely dissimilar to Zelda's dungeon crawling! And a couple of my favorite games I've played in the past few years owe a massive debt to Zelda, wearing the influence proudly on their sleeves. The first, Nier Replicant, is structurally, narratively, and to some extent mechanically a twisted homage to Ocarina of Time. And my game of the year for 2022 (which I also reviewed!) is a little indie title named Tunic, which could not be more open in its reverence for Zelda if it tried.

My love for these two games, combined with my love for all the friends I have who've been pushing me to play some Zelda for ages now, is what finally got me excited enough to try Link's Awakening DX for the Game Boy Color.

-Part 2: In the Shadow of a Masterpiece-

Awakening is an odd little game and I'm coming at it from an odd place, too. You see, I started playing it a couple months ago, cleared six out of eight dungeons, got forcibly sidetracked by a heap of real life stuff, then two or three weeks ago I started on a different Zelda game that came before it, A Link to the Past, which I've now played, replayed, and even dipped into randomizer runs before finally coming back and finishing my Link's Awakening playthrough.

And I'm glad I did, because it threw into perspective just how much Awakening lives in the shadow of ALttP. It's a smaller entry on more limited hardware that serves as the follow up to a certified classic that laid the groundwork for decades of subsequent Zeldas and Zelda-likes to come. ALttP has not one but two sprawling overworlds that work in tandem with each other, and it marries exquisite combat scenarios with a strong puzzle solving element and an item based progression system reminiscent of Metroid. The items themselves are tremendously fun and addictive to use (the Pegasus Boots, the Hookshot, the Fire Rod, etc), with almost every piece of your eventual loadout remaining useful and serving an essential purpose in combat scenarios as well as exploration. A Link to the Past is jaw droppingly expansive yet compact, a tour de force of world and dungeon design where every piece fits perfectly in its place.

So why am I reviewing Link's Awakening instead, when it's a significantly weaker experience that never stood a chance against its wildly successful older brother? Well, for one thing, it's because there isn't much more I could say about ALttP that hasn't already been said better by other people, and I'd just keep gushing about how great is it for sixty paragraphs. And that's boring!! I'd rather talk to ya'll about a flawed, dinky little weirdo game that not as many people have played and celebrated.

And yes, I know there's a 2019 Switch remake of this game that rebuilds it from the ground up with new graphics and music, a better button layout, and even more secrets to find. (I've already dubbed it Link's Remakening when chatting with my friends.) But it was important to me to experience this game in an older form first to better appreciate its place in history and how that remake chooses to "modernize" it when I inevitably get around to playing that too. And hey, I think the way the best Game Boy titles made the most of their hardware is pretty neat! I find the "dated" graphics charming and it features a trio of composers that made excellent use of the sound chip, among them a brilliant lady named Minako Hamano, of Super Metroid and Metroid Fusion fame...or at least I wish she'd receive more fame and credit.

Because damn, when you first boot this game up you're hit with a stormy screen and a hauntingly foreboding piece of music, depicting Link on a raggedy little boat struggling to stay afloat in a violent sea that looks poised to swallow him whole. Then a strike of lightning comes down, the screen flashes, and we transition to a tranquil beachside while a far more mellow track plays. We see a lone girl walk down the shore to find an unconscious Link washed up on the sand. Then the camera pans up while the iconic Zelda theme kicks in and we see a distant mountain with a giant egg and a ring of clouds at its peak, as the title of the game appears at the top of the screen just like in the image I opened this review with.

-Part 3: An Island of Dreams-

This moody little intro immediately sets the tone and feel for Link's Awakening as a whole. It's a surreal, melancholy, dreamlike little game that appeals to the player's emotions through sound, subtle character moments, and imagery that will stay with you. While Awakening draws inspiration from ALttP in many respects, it also pulls away from it by telling a more intimate and personal story than the monomythic quest to save Hyrule.

That girl in the intro who rescues Link is named Marin, and the game proper begins with Link awakening (hehe) in her house. Her dad, Tarin, gives you back your shield and the two of them let you know that you're on Koholint Island and your sword should still be sitting around the beach somewhere.

Because Link is effectively you, the player, the game is trying to make you feel a couple things here. It wants you to like and care about Marin and her dad, so it has them be as nice and helpful to you as possible. And by extension, knowing there are monsters threatening them and their village gives you a reason to wanna protect this place in addition to solving whatever mysteries you may find here.

Awakening, you see, puts a lot of love and effort into its setting and NPCs. By injecting more flavor, sensitivity and humanity, with a cast of quirky oddballs, it left its mark on the Zelda series in a way that's still felt today. It even has an item trading sidequest that has you going around the entire island talking to people! And while most of the sidequest isn't mandatory, completing it is necessary to get an item that for most players will be needed to finish the game. In other words, Awakening really pushes you to get to know Koholint and its inhabitants, and hopefully grow to care for them and feel the weight of your main quest's consequences.

That main quest, as it turns out, is to wake the Wind Fish that slumbers in the enormous egg atop Mount Tamaranch at the north end of the world map. This requires collecting instruments from each of the eight dungeons scattered across the island...so let's talk about those dungeons.

-Part 4: Into the Labyrinth-

To reach most of them, you'll first need to explore the overworld and complete some random, often pretty strange tasks to find a key that will open the way to the dungeon. For instance, getting to Eagle's Tower requires you to bring a stone rooster to life and fly it across gaping chasms you couldn't cross with just the Hookshot. It's pretty weird.

The dungeons themselves deviate and elaborate on the structure used in ALttP in a few ways. Instead of finding a "big key" that gives you access to a "big chest" and unlocks the rest of the dungeon, more emphasis is placed on the central upgrade you find halfway through. The first leg of a dungeon typically has you wandering around, hitting lots of dead ends until you finally get your hands on the new item and suddenly the rest of the dungeon will open up for you, because now you can complete the environmental puzzles necessary to push further in. Likewise, where bosses in ALttP presented challenges mainly for you to resolve with your sword, bow or fire rod, the bosses in Awakening almost all demand that you use your shiny new upgrade as the means to defeat them, like the genie in Bottle Grotto whose bottle you need to toss at the wall with your new Power Bracelet. In some ways this creates for more gimmicky boss design, and most of them are pathetically easy compared to the genuine adversity ALttP throws at you, but it's an approach that allows each dungeon to more clearly identify with its central item. And I'm told that becomes the norm in future Zeldas!

This upgrade-driven progression also speaks to an overall shift more into the Metroidvania lane for Awakening. The fact that the game takes place in a smaller, tightly knit map full of roadblocks you'll need to use your full item kit to bypass contributes to this as well, with new shortcuts opening up as you go. And it's a good thing the overworld is pretty small compared to ALttP, because the screen size is also painfully tiny and thus so is your view of the immediate surroundings. With all the pauses for screen scrolling it has to do, it's good that the game doesn't bite off more than it can chew and for the most part avoids being too difficult to navigate (though I still got lost and turned around more times than I'd like).

And I gotta be honest here, progression in this game can get pretty wonky. Sometimes the devs lean too far into the realm of dreamlike chaos and present you with puzzles and gating that just doesn't seem to have any intuitive logic behind it. One minor example is when the game expects you to open a locked door by...throwing a pot at it. This is not set up at all and you have no reason to think this particular door is so different from every other door up to that point which is unlocked by a key or by clearing out the room's enemies. Similarly, that thing I mentioned earlier about bringing a rooster to life takes a series of steps so bizarre and illogical that I was dumbfounded when I looked it up.

That's not to say Awakening is lacking in puzzles that were a pure joy to solve, because there were some amazing "ah ha!" moments that gave me the same sense of excitement and satisfaction that Tunic so often did. That lightbulb going off is the high I was chasing when I started my quest to play every major Zelda game, and Awakening sometimes delivered. Not to spoil too much, but there's a moment in the third dungeon, Key Cavern, where you realize you can combine the effects of two upgrades to do something super cool that you'll go on doing in various places for the rest of the game. And if you have a hunger like I do for "puzzle box" dungeons that require you to interact with the environment in ways that dramatically alter it and gain the spatial awareness to navigate it intelligently, then Eagle's Tower will be the highlight of your playthrough. It's been a few days and I'm still thinking about how brilliant that dungeon was. While ALttP is by far the better game overall, its steady consistency stands in stark contrast to the highs and lows of playing Link's Awakening.

There are other evolutions to the dungeon formula, too. A big one is the change in functionality of the compass - in ALttP, all the compasses would do when you found them is mark the boss room on your dungeon map. This was pretty useless since the geography of dungeons in that game will naturally lead you in the boss' direction regardless. On the other hand, Awakening's dungeons tend to be far more labyrinthine and confounding, so this basic quality to the compass is inherently more valuable. But wait, there's more!! In Awakening, the compass now also plays a jingle when you enter a room with a hidden key, and it marks every unopened treasure chest left to find on your map! This makes the compass so much more vital to finding your way and uncovering secrets.

And the last thing about dungeons I need to point out is the addition of sidescrolling segments, with some light platforming and even cameo appearances from Mario enemies, like goombas and piranha plants. Because yeah, this game has platforming. The first dungeon upgrade is the Roc's Feather, which lets you jump in a Zelda game that isn't Zelda II, almost 25 years before Breath of the Wild! You can only imagine how giddy I was to have this item and how much fun I got out of it across my playthrough.

-Part 5: Why This Game Sucks Actually-

However, speaking of the item inventory...this is where we have to address one of Awakening's most painful flaws. Inventory management in this game is excruciating. Because it's on the Game Boy, you can only assign items to the A or B button, and every item you obtain is bound by this system. Where ALttP had picking up pots and rocks as a context sensitive A press, Awakening has you go into the menu to bind the Power Bracelet to A or B every time you wanna lift anything up. Likewise, where the Pegasus Boots were just a press and hold A to charge up in ALttP, in Awakening you have to button assign it if you wanna use it. Every single time.

What makes this worse is that every time you brush up against a liftable object without the Bracelet equipped, you get a long, slow, unskippable text box telling you that you can't lift it. This is pretty bad at the start of the game when you don't have the item, but it becomes unbearably bad later on when you already know that, god game shut up!!

What makes it somehow even worse than that is the fact that the game's overworld seems tailor made to exhaust you with constant, and I mean constant dips into the menu to switch out items. There are so, so very many obstacles to get around. Rocks you need to switch in the Bracelet for. Pits you need to switch in the Feather for. Enemies you need to switch in your sword for. Blocks that can only be broken with the Pegasus Boots. Gaps you can only cross with the Hookshot. It adds up, and while you get used to it, it makes traveling from one end of the map to the other a tedious ordeal.

Fixing this issue, above anything else, is something I feel like Link's Remakening (2019) has to offer over the original. From what I hear, all your most necessary upgrades are generally already bound to buttons on the controller and stay that way, dramatically minimizing the amount of menuing you have to do. I look forward to re-experiencing the game in this way at some point, because good gravy is it a problem in the og version.

-Epilogue: I Love it Anyway-

Despite some frustrating flaws that hold it back, though - some of which are a consequence of the hardware, some of which are just questionable choices on the part of the dev team - I would still say Link's Awakening DX is a lovely little game that showed a whole new side of Zelda and maintains its own special place in my heart. Koholint Island is a setting I can't help having fond affection for, with its wacky characters, poignant story, whimsical locales and the fascinating risks and experiments the devs took in making it. The director apparently said he felt as if they were making a "parody" of Zelda, and I can see it. Parts of this game feel like a weird romhack more than a fully polished official product. But that's part of its enduring charm, and I'm thankful for the strange, dreamy journey I got to take with Link, Marin, and all the rest. They'll stay somewhere in my memory, like a sad and silly dream that lingers after you wake.

[cryptidsurveys]

Saturday, July 13th, 2024.

Are you going to be busy tomorrow? Not really. I'll be at the animal shelter from 7-11am, but after that I'm free to do whatever.

What was the last topic you read about on Wikipedia? I rarely ever look anything up on Wikipedia, so I have no idea what it would have been.

Have you ever donated money to Wikipedia? No.

Is your country part of the Commonwealth? It's not.

Around what time of the year do you start your Christmas shopping? Last Christmas was the first time in years that I did any gift-related shopping. My dad and I don't exchange gifts, but I've been back in touch with my mom since last summer, so I decided to get her a few things. As for decorations, I started shopping (as well as putting things up) around October. I know that's basically anathema to some, but I just know how fast the holiday season flies by and I actually wanted a chance to appreciate them. :') Additional info that no one asked for: many of the holiday decorations we own are from my childhood, so they're rather old, dusty, broken, etc. I decided last year to start building up my own little stash, and last year's focus was Xmas. This year, I'm going to focus more on Halloween or Thanksgiving, so they'll hopefully get their chance in the spotlight this upcoming season.

Do you have blinds or curtains on your windows? There are blinds on most of the windows, but there's a small curtain in the kitchen window.

What are the most common birds you'd see around your home? Mourning doves, grackles, robins, sparrows, hawks, bluejays, etc.

Did you sleep well last night? Yeah.

Did you live within walking distance of school when you were a kid? Technically yes. It probably would have taken me around 30-40 minutes to walk to my elementary school, but I took the bus.

What board games did you play when you were growing up? Monopoly, Parcheesi, Trouble, Mousetrap, Checkers, Yahtzee…

Do you know any sign language? No.

When was the last time you bought new clothes? What did you get? Three polo style shirts - two black and one light blue. Mainly for wearing to the animal shelter if my shelter shirts happen to be dirty or if I just want to change things up a bit.

What, other than books, do you have on your bookshelves? A ceramic pipe that my dad painted when I was a teen, a branch of dried cottonwood leaves, an unknown bone, a clamshell that often holds my rings, a sprig of fake lilacs, and a stuffed kitty doorstopper (it used to have a brick in the bottom, but that ripped out; now I just use the brick by itself and the cat is stashed on the bottom shelf).

Do you ever watch streamers on Twitch? No.

How close are your nearest neighbours? I live in a pretty typical suburban neighborhood, so…just imagine that level of closeness, I guess…?

Has your house ever been broken into? How did you find out? In a sense, but it's not a story I feel like telling.

What do you usually eat for breakfast? Oatmeal with fruit, peanut butter, carnation instant breakfast, and chocolate syrup. It's pretty much always some variation of that; I hardly ever eat anything else.

What's the first thing your hand touches if you reach to the left? A travel coffee mug. It's got a sort of marbled design on it.

Describe your favourite mug or cup. I have this huge red mug decorated with gingerbread houses that I use for my oatmeal, as well as another white mug with a kitty on it that says "Meowy Christmas."

If you could teleport to any country right now for a holiday, what would it be? Japan. Except I wouldn't want to go right now; I would prefer to go in spring or autumn.

Are you overwhelmed right now? Not exactly. It's more like I'm on the verge of feeling overwhelmed because I'm constantly pushing my physical/emotional/social limits in order to strengthen them. Like, I'm generally fine, but if I were to pile even a couple more activities on top of what I'm doing now, I think I would approach burnout.

Did you share a bedroom with someone when you were growing up? I did share a room with my mom when we lived in an apartment when I was a teen, but as for my childhood, I had my own room.

Have you ever had anything dry cleaned? I don't think so.

How many group chats are you in? Do you participate in them much? I'm not in any. That is one of my reservations when it comes to one day working at the animal shelter, though - the constant, off-the-rails group chats. Cassie was saying the other day how she was getting texts at 7am on her day off and she was just like…I don't want to see a picture of a dog in a pool; I'm trying to sleep! And frankly, I don't blame her. That dog photo would be a whole lot cuter in the middle of the day, but if I'm trying to sleep, fvck absolutely off, lmao. You're practically tethered to your phone, though, just in case something comes in that's actually relevant.

What's the best concert you ever went to? I've never really been to any memorable concerts.

Do you like to watch subtitled movies? I don't watch a whole lot of movies, but I don't mind if they have subtitles.

Are you still in touch with any of your exes? No.

How old were you when the first American Pie movie came out? I'm not sure.

Do you know how to change the oil in a car? What about a flat tyre? No.

What do you do for work? I volunteer at an animal shelter, in their cattery. I clean colonies/kennels (which involves wiping down surfaces/cat towers/etc, refreshing food and water, cleaning litter boxes, changing blankets, and that sort of thing). I also do basic housekeeping stuff like washing dishes/scoops, sweeping, mopping, laundry, taking out trash… Oh, and on Fridays, we have to weigh everybody, which is always an adventure. :')

[fortemelody]

growing up a child of divorce and neglect meant a lot of traumatic moments obviously- but for the sake of this post we’re throwing most of that aspect away to talk about a smaller issue that i’ve come to realize holds a lot more weight than i ever thought it would.

my dream as a kid was always to have all of the stuff i collected in one space. dvds, cds, video game consoles, toys, plushies, figures, you name it. and until i was about 13 or 14, the room of the house i was neglected at (dads) felt so absolutely barren becus i didn’t have the chance to really go outside and buy stuff for it, and bringing stuff back and forth (unless it was my fav stuffed animal) felt like such a hassle. hell, i barely even had any clothes there and i wasn’t taught how to do laundry for awhile which made it worse.

what does this have to do with the present day you may ask? well, as of january 15 of this year, i officially gained some courage and moved out of my dads house. however i didn’t start moving any of my things till months later. i got a couple essential items here and there but now that it’s summer i’ve officially started getting more things in bulk from there and moving it over. it’s literally a 5 minute walk so it’s not hard to do at all. but i can’t help but have conflicting emotions from it all. for one, my dream of all my stuff being in a single room/house is finally coming true, and i can collectively look at what i all have together. i didn’t think this would happen till i got a new apartment or house of my own after college (so like… around 22 years old compared to being 17). but on the other hand, i can’t help but feel a bit sad. the layout of each room was unique how it was, and i managed to cultivate a safe space at my dads out of really shitty circumstances. in the span of the 3 years where i gained friends and a sense of direction, i could finally obtain merch and other items that made me happy and put them in my dads house, so it wasn’t some barren wasteland that i dreaded. seeing as though that’s where i spent all my time at that house, it only seemed right for it to look good. slowly stripping this room apart makes me really sad that i was destroying the work i put in to make a good environment for myself. but then comes an even bigger problem. i also have become in those three years a MASSIVE hoarder. and the only way that everything fit was having two spaces. and now i will only have one. i quickly went from a kid who wanted so many new products and toys to help me escape my reality, to an almost adult who bought too many things in an attempt to salvage their inner child. it’s quite the heartbreaking thing to see becus many of the items i have now (unless they’re from a specific person i cherish or already have sentimental value ) don’t really have much meaning on their own anymore and it sucks. i would say that money can buy happiness, but only for a limited amount of time. i deep cleaned out my closet to make room for at least some of the stuff from my dads, and i did manage to get three full garbage bags of things im going to donate to goodwill, so i’m glad that i am giving back in some way. but i’m still astonished that -even after that- how much stuff can pile up and eventually just come to be decoration after thinking it would be the key to your life. yes, i’m still going to collect, especially items you can actually use (physical media), but man it really hits different when you can visualize how many items you actually own. it’s a bit terrifying honestly. nevertheless, i do love the act of actually organizing so that aspect will be fun, and i don’t think it’s all completely bad becus there are a few gems that i’m really proud of owning.

a side story to top this all off- i made the mistake of carrying four huge bags full of clothes yesterday as i walked home in a path where i would see a lot of people. i could’ve waited like a half an hour until my dad was ready to load his car with my stuff, but i was so stubborn and wanted to leave his house ASAP. i had it in my mind the whole time that i probably looked like a homeless child (seeing as though me and my mom see this one homeless guy with 20 bags constantly throughout our neighborhood). shameful needless embarrassment aside, it’s really sad that my own stubbornness is what made me look like an “outcast” by society. my family is not exactly financially stable ourselves, but i obviously have a house as stated. it made me think about how many homeless people really only have their items to keep themselves sane. you come to appreciate what you *do* have becus of that. i really hope i come to a point in my life where i can stop buying things i don’t need so i can give back to others that cherish and need their items so much more. or possibly find a balance of my money- with helping others as my main priority while just buying myself things at certain times of the year. and referring to the root of this story, i hope i can also get to a point where i’m not so fucking stubborn and holding that strong of a grudge that i can tolerate my dad for an extra half an hour. but that’s a whole other story 😭

[sol1056]

My father was the son of a carpenter (no HS degree) and a nurse (associate’s degree). His parents couldn’t afford college for him, but he scored high enough on college exams that a state school offered him a scholarship. He ended up enlisting for three reasons.

One, he lost his scholarship (D in history, geez, Dad). Two, with a draft afoot, enlisting was the only way to make sure he had any choice (however slim) in what he’d do and be. Three, the military paid for his bachelors, his master’s, and his doctorate -- and that education is what got him out of that small southern Georgia town and into teaching at some of the most prestigious universities on the US’ eastern seaboard. 

Enlisting has always been trade-off. If you come from middle class or higher, then you probably don’t need major financial assistance for your education, or a down-payment on a car or house. Even if you're legacy military, once your family’s middle-class, the tangible benefits aren’t as great, relatively.

But if your parents are farmers, factory workers, miners, or similar labor-intensive blue-collar workers and it’s looking like your only choice is to follow them down that same road or learn to be a waitress? The military has been, for several generations now, your best ticket out of a dead-end town, job, or life.

A lot of the time, it’s your only ticket.

The whole point of the GI Bill was to make enlisting worth the risk of dying in a foreign land for some rich man’s war. You put in so many years of your life and (assuming you survived), you'd walk out well-trained or even well-educated, with good job prospects and a social network of fellow former military to help you land softly. You’d have decent healthcare, a good pension, and access to a fair home loan. (And if you didn’t survive? The VA provides for children & widow/ers, so at least your family would see the benefits.)

Yes, to everything @johnbrownfunclubofficial and @natalieironside​ said above, because all of that is true. (Hell, it’s not much better when you’re a dependent, although the enlisted-wives and officer-wives bullshit is lot better than it used to be.) But it’s also true that depending on where you’re coming from, sometimes that trade-off is worth the price.

But we have to unpack that to see the real problem: we have no other consistent and reliable means for people to hoist themselves out of a lack of generational wealth or skills. There’s no broad-based funding for kids in poorer counties or states to get solid training or education (let alone with room & board provided plus a small stipend!).

The challenge of “if you want to do X, go learn how to do it” doesn’t work, if you’re coming from that far down. Learn it? From whom? And you pay for that training, how? And who pays for you while you do it? Education of any kind costs money and time. You may have the time, but without the money? It remains a pipedream.

Does the military take advantage of this? Absolutely. Blocking all other options for kids with minimal/limited prospects is by design. The US military complex absolutely wants those kids to see no way out except to hope they can survive that war in a foreign land fighting on behalf of rich men who couldn’t give a damn what those kids did, and will, sacrifice.

But now we come to a parallel truth.

This is a less-discussed but important contributing factor in the pushback on universal basic income. The Pentagon (and American imperialism and its wealthy cronies) are fully aware that, given any other choice, the average blue-collar, labor-raised, lower-class kid would not join the military. In short: basic income would cause enlistment to plummet.

It’s not difficult math. Beyond even the truth of the internal tyranny of the DoJ and the UCMJ and just the sheer madness of the insular culture known as ‘living on base’, most human beings prefer careers where “high chance of potentially being killed” is not in the job listing. And I’d be willing to bet an even larger number of human beings, given any other choice, would want nothing to do with a job that requires “potentially killing other human beings.”

As for those who would, they can just go be cops.

One time in Army we got into a big nerf gun fight inside our building and a bunch of people got really mad and decreed that all kinetic weapons including nerf guns fit the legal definition of firearms under the UCMJ and made us go secure our nerf guns in the armory.

I hid mine tho. I said this is goddamn America and we got a second ammendment.

[hertzwritings]

The barber boys and the bakery chapter 1

A/N: Yes, I do have three WIPS currently going and a shit-ton of other stuff, BUT the always amazing @buckyshattergirl​ and I have talked in LENGTH about a thing and now I have to write the thing. I need fluffy Dad!Andy Barber and cute kid Jacob. It’s probably going to be a series, maybe, and it’ll mostly be snapshots and cute little one-shots of the life of the Barber boys.   I can’t say when or how frequently it’ll be updated, but it will be updated!

Anyway, I hope you’ll like it because I sure as hell do!

You can buy me a coffee here, and I’ll write you a personalized something – the sky is the limit, my loves!

Remember, feedback feeds the soul (min in particular) and my requests – and askbox – are always open – there’s no limits, because I am me and I have none.

MASTERLIST

CHRIS EVANS MASTERLIST

ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS

SERIES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Andy Barber x female reader

Contains: language, fluff, mentions of violence, age gap

W.C: 2.000

 The meeting

NEXT CHAPTER

  The bakery was quiet for the first time since you opened today; the hustle and bustle of high school kids had dwindled down to zero, and you finally had time to make yourself the cup of coffee, you had craved since 4 in the morning. You did worry, though, because your favorite kid – the lanky, shy Jacob – had been nowhere to be seen, which was strange for him. He came in every day, a shy smile on his lips and asked (as the only one) for your walnut muffins, small talking about nothing really, while you bagged it up for him. It was steady and routine at this point:

You opened, began baking, and precisely thirty minutes before the bell rang, Jacob would show up, buy a walnut muffin, eat it inside while talking about schoolwork or his dad – or how much he hated his mom – and then wave goodbye. You liked it. He was a smart and funny kid, and your general penchant for being a MomTM, made it easy to talk to him and dote on him.

He seemed like he needed it.

Which is why you were worriedly looking out of the window towards the school with furrowed brows, when the bell rang, and Jacob still hadn’t shown up. Not that he wasn’t allowed to not show up, but it gave you a sense of unease. He had been through enough, already. You began baking another round of croissants, flour going everywhere, and you grumbled to yourself that this was not the day for wearing black boots, because they were slowly turning grey. Occupational hazard.

You were so concentrated, that you missed the bell chiming and the sound of shuffling feet, until a soft voice called out. “Hey, Y/N.” Your head whipped up to see Jacob stand in front of you. Your smile fell when you saw the busted lip and the blood flowing freely. “Sorry, I didn’t come in earlier.” “Don’t think about that, what happened to you?” you rushed to his side and sat him down in one of the chairs, quickly going to the open sign and flipping it. “Asshole at school.” He said with a shrug. “Isn’t the first time, won’t be the last.” You were seething. “Jake, you… Hang on, I’ll get you something to clean off with.” You rushed to the back, found a hand towel and wet it, handing it to him as soon as you came back and sat down in front of him. “Thanks.” “Jake, listen to me. Who was he, why did he do that, and do I need to kill him?” You asked seriously. He shook his head. “It’s the dickhead Spencer. He’s… Well, yeah. He’s that. I guess I sat in his chair. Or he thinks I’m gay. It could all of the things.” You pursed your lips. You might only be 25 years old, and you may have only known Jacob for six months, but you felt protective of him. “Call your dad. When’s the break?” He glanced at the clock. “In… Like two minutes.” He scrolled on his phone, stopping with a finger hovering over the call-button. “Why?” “I’m about to beat this bitch up.” You said firmly, dusting your fingers from flour. “You’re coming with me, point him out.” He called his dad as he stood up. “Uh, dad? So… I might get in trouble. Not like, that kind of trouble again, but like… Normal teen trouble? At school? You should get over here. Like…” He looked at you and swallowed. “I’m a little scared of Y/N. She’s about to rip a kid a new one for punching me. Anyway, bye!” he hung up. “Voicemail.”

You stalked to the school parking lot, hair whipping around your face in the wind, Jacob trailing after you, and he nodded to a red-headed, slightly plump kid, who was laughing with a group of other boys. You were ready to throw some fucking hands.

“YOU!” You marched over to him, while Jacob stood back, watching it unfold. “Who the hell do you think you are?” you began, the kid stumbling back a few paces and the verbal smack-down began.

-----------

Andy hated voicemails like that. He hated that his first thought was not again, and he drove faster than he probably should’ve to reach the school in record time. When he pulled over, he saw Jacob standing, eyes locked on a woman, who was clearly angrily gesturing and speaking loudly to the asshole of a kid, Spencer, who looked like he was about to cry. Andy got out of the car quickly and almost jogged to Jacob’s side, clocking the busted lip. “What the hell happened to you?” He asked, taking Jacob’s face in his hands. “I’m fine dad, seriously.” He glanced at the woman again. “I don’t think I have anything to worry about, because Y/N seems to be doing a great job telling him off.” He pointed to her, and Andy frowned. “Wait, that’s Y/N?” “Yeah.” “I thought she was in your year!” He said, watching her poke Spencer in the chest with a finger. “Nah, she’s like… 25, but super cool. She plays DND and stuff. She’s like my mom friend.” “She’s a mom?” Andy could almost hear Jacob roll his eyes. “No, dad, a mom friend.” “Kid, I have no idea what that means.”

“If you ever even look at him again, I’ll wreck you faster than you can scream mommy.” Andy overheard the last of the conversation – or yelling – from Y/N, before she turned on her heels and walked straight to Jacob, cupping his face in her hands. The gesture made Andy’s stomach go into knots. “Listen to me, you’re getting free muffins for the rest of the year from even tolerating being in the same room as that fucking wombat.” You said, wiping your thumb across Jacob’s cheek. Andy was reeling. He watched Spencer run inside of the school and didn’t see her turn to him. “You’re Mr. Barber, I presume.” He was about to answer when he finally looked at her.

She was beautiful. He knew beauty when he saw it. Her hair was flowing around her face, her eyes were burning into him, and her lips, fucking hell, her lips made him feel dizzy. She radiated confidence. She was wearing a blue sundress, covered largely by a black apron that in turn, was covered in flour, and he had never in his life felt this attracted to a person before. He swallowed thickly when he noticed the tattoos littering her arms, and the one, that poked out from her collarbone to her shoulder, only interrupted by the strap of her dress made his heart thump heavily in his chest. “Barber, yes. I.. Am Andy.” He swallowed thickly and noticed Jacob grin like a Cheshire cat. “Well, Barber, Andy, prepare yourself to go to the principal’s office.” “Why, did you punch the kid?” He asked, honestly a little worried. She looked terrifying, despite her smaller stature and flour in her hair. She shook her head. “No, but I did accidentally say nobody messes with my kid and called the kid an asshole, that was tired of shitting, and that if he ever tried to touch my kid again, I’d rip his arms from his body and stuff them up his ass.” She turned her head to see the very angry face of the vice-principal. “Shit.” “Will you follow me, Mr. Barber, Miss?” She told him through tight lips. Y/N followed as well, clearly ready to face whatever wrath a principal had to dish out. Andy couldn’t stop looking at her, her entire aura was just confidence and care; he cleared his throat several times to get rid of the damned dry spot, that suddenly appeared at the same time as Y/N had cupped Jacob’s cheeks.

They both stepped into the office, and when she stood next to him, Andy realized just how short she was in comparison to him. He easily towered a head above her. “I don’t appreciate siblings telling students off, Mr. Barber.” He cocked an eyebrow at the principal. “Siblings?” he asked, slightly confused. The principal pointed at Y/N, who laughed. “Oh, no, I’m not related.” She winked at Andy. “Yet.” He spluttered. She turned back to the principal. “And someone has to tell them off, or nobody will. Seriously, do you not a have a zero-bullying policy in this hellhole?” Andy snickered under his breath.   “Miss, that’s very inappropriate…” “No, I’ll tell you what’s inappropriate.” Y/N cut the principal off. “That someone can punch another human being and face zero repercussions. Zero bullying, my ass, you’re literally enforcing the bullying by not acting. I have no respect for you or anything you have to say to me, as long as you allow that to happen in your school, Mrs.” Andy cleared his throat, when the principal opened her mouth to retort. “I agree. My son has done nothing” (well, he hoped) “to warrant this. Y/N did nothing more than stand up for my son, which is needed since the school decided not to.” “Mr. Barber, I can assure you…” “You can assure me of nothing.” He said with a smile. It was the same smile he wore when he delivered his final statements in court. “I refuse to be called in here for my son, when he’s the one bleeding. Have a wonderful day, Mrs. Stevensen.” He turned on his heel and gestured for Y/N to follow him, leaving the principal absolutely dumbfounded.

“Am I in trouble?” Jacob asked in the second, they stepped outside. Andy shook his head and wrapped his arm around Jacob, pulling him close. “No, kiddo, you’re not.” “Tell you what, I’ll get you a few muffins to take back, okay?” Y/N said. “Come, I was going to close early anyway.” Jacob practically jumped out of Andy’s arms and ran after Y/N, talking animatedly with his hands as they walked. Andy furrowed his brows; he hadn’t seen Jacob like this in a while, and it warmed his heart a little. He quickly followed them into the bakery, and was immediately feeling comfortable – it smelled of chocolate and fresh bread, while the walls were covered in personal art (he noticed a few drawings from Jacob hung on the wall as well), and he sat down in the chair, that Jacob pointed him to.

“Jake, what will it be today? Walnut muffins, chocolate chip cookies, something dangerous or something unexpected?” She asked seriously. “I’ll cry if you give me anything with chili in it.” He answered with a grin. You rolled your eyes and laughed. “I might be scary, but I’m not evil.” You winked at Andy, who almost choked on thin air. “Unexpected it is, huh?” You kept your eyes on Andy as you spoke, and he couldn’t help the small grin spread on his lips. “Yeah, unexpected is good.” Jacob answered, looking back and forth between Y/N and Andy, his eyes glowing with something Andy hadn’t seen in his son for a while: Hope.

  NEXT CHAPTER -----------------------

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[phoenixyfriend]

Commander Buir

Follow-up to this post. Not in any particular order, just spitballing ideas, with contributions from several friends on discord.

Like presumably it takes long enough for them all to meet up again that Anakin and Cody do, in fact, end up treating each other like family, just so I can have that good good "well, guess I'm Dad now" energy. Shmi isn't entirely sure what's going on but she's not a slave anymore and her kid seems to like this rando mando, so.

Anakin gets to have a mom and two dads, though one of the dads is arguably younger than him.

Also when they all meet up again and Cody explains the "General Skywalker got shrunk" thing, there are three reactions: (General) Obi-Wan: Oh, Anakin. Obi-Wan: [gestures to take him, ends up with an armful of clingy padatoddler] Anakin: You can't blame this on me, Obi. Obi-Wan, a little teary, because babies cause emotions: Of course I can, you absurd human being. ------ Rex: That's... my general. Anakin: I am, Captain. Rex: Cool cool cool I'm gonna go stand where I can't, uh, break you. Anakin: I'm not THAT fragile! ------ Ahsoka: [gasp] Skyguy is SKYKID! Anakin: Padawan, this is-- Ahsoka, grabbing him and cuddling: Oh my goodness you're adorable this is the best day ever. Anakin: This is humiliating, Snips, put me down. Ahsoka: Never.

Anakin hates being a toddler because of the lack of independence but Cody keeps picking him up when he's cranky and just holding him until he falls asleep and that's... nice.......

- The brain limitations aren't quite as bad as the situation with Sokanth and Ylliben in the other AU, but - Even if his brain is mostly adjusted he’s still got a tiny body with different needs that he’s not used to. Like, he needs to sleep more but he’s got more energy than usual when he’s awake and it’s all weird.

Cody carrying around toddler Anakin like "God you give me ulcers but you're adorable, you little shit."

Inconveniently tiny body aside, Anakin has a pretty great time in this au. His family are all together and safe and within reach. His wife isn't around, but toddler brain means he doesn't have the Romance Drive, so that's not as bad as it could be It could be significantly worse.

@atagotiak asked: Does Anakin get annoyed about being called cute? - To which I say, He bites the first few times but Shmi tells him that's Naughty so he stops. - Babies are cute so you packbond with them before they’re annoying, Anakin is cute as a self defense mechanism - He’s extra annoying so he needs to be extra cute

You know how you need to keep an eye on toddlers so they don't, like, fall down the stairs or put something toxic in their mouth? - They need to keep an eye on Anakin specifically so he doesn't rewire the ship they're in while they're in hyperspace. - He has less self control on account of being smol. He still has all the mechanical knowledge! Just less comprehension of y’know, consequences.

Anakin, with a sippy cup: This is demeaning. Ahsoka: Your hands don't work great enough to avoid accidents yet. Anakin: It's still embarrassing.

General Kenobi can't just kill Maul, not when Maul is baby right now (sixteen, which is baby enough) so he just. Kinda. Kidnaps a baby Sith. (It's fine. He's fine.)

General Kenobi (not to be confused with Padawan Kenobi) decides to declare Maul his new padawan because someone has to deal with this teenager, and Plo already claimed the rest of Ahsoka's training. And Anakin's three, so.

"What do we do with Maul?" "Eh, I can handle him. I dealt with teenage Anakin getting arrested for illegal pod-racing twice a month, I can work with this."

Maul bites, but only slightly more often than Anakin, it's fine

Ahsoka definitely bullies Maul whenever possible

Consider: Rex holding very still because Anakin wanted to be tall, so he climbed Rex. Being unexpectedly climbed is better than being unexpectedly yeeted. It's still extremely nerve-wracking. - Cody is perfectly capable of running around with a backpacking toddler General, but Rex freezes like a statue. - Ahsoka finds this hilarious

You know how little kids like to be thrown around and swung in circles and stuff like that? This must get even more ridiculous with force users. Can throw a child real high and catch them safely. - Rex panics whenever Ahsoka throws her chibified Master

Literally everyone except Rex loves being yeeted. Even Maul can appreciate a good tactical yeet no shut up he's not having fun this is TRAINING - Rex is Suffering - Cody, a very Tired Dad, deserves to mock his vod'ika a little, as stress relief - Rex, a certified Little Brother, shoves Cody off something tall. Jokes on him, Cody thinks freefall is fun too.

Tia asked: So the people who didn’t exist yet got flung bodily back in time and Anakin did the mental time travel. Why did Obi-Wan not become Padawan Kenobi? (I mean “because I want it that way” is def a good enough answer I’m just wondering if there’s any reason.) - Which, well, it really was mostly "I want to" but here's two options, both of which come down to Blame Daughter and Father. 1. They figured a responsible adult Jedi Master was needed to convince people. 2. Nobody was supposed to get de-aged but Daughter figured they needed to make Anakin less liable to kill things for a few years. - Also IDK the Force God-Manifestations also took away any risk of rapid aging and early death from the clones because uhhhhhhhhhhh I said so

Rex and Ahsoka are fumbling their way through a relationship where ages are just really confusing and awkward, so they're keeping it to just kisses and cuddles for a bit.

Cody is so tired he doesn't even realize anyone's hitting on him until it's been three years of co-parenting with Shmi and his General. - Somehow Anakin knows Cody is in a relationship before Cody does. Cody has never been so embarrassed. - How did he manage to be less observant than Skywalker? -- it was sabotage; all his brain cells were taken up in managing said Skywalker -- Because Skywalker was up at three in the morning whacking a training droid with a stick so he didn't have the energy for Relationships

Also Shmi's come-ons are super subtle, while the General's are... well, Cody's gotten very used to ignoring anything ambiguous on that end because fraternization rules, and also because Obi-Wan flirts a lot with everyone. So.

Please imagine Cody and General Kenobi walking around with Anakin tucked into a toddler sling while they do whatever work they've ended up with at the Temple. - Yes, Cody is helping the Jedi figure out the best plan of attack to take down this slave ring because his grasp on tactics is phenomenal and he knows how to deploy people at greatest efficiency, but also he's got a nosy toddler on his hip who keeps offering his own insane-but-competent ideas. - General Kenobi ends up with a Council Seat just on account of, like, being the kind of person he is. As often as not, he's got Anakin tucked into his robes, chewing on the ear of a stuffed tooka or something.

IDK what Shmi's doing but apparently Legends had it that some of the administrative and support positions in the Temple were held by non-Jedi civilians? So probably something like that.

GENERAL KENOBI LECTURING PADAWAN MAUL WHILE ANAKIN'S BALANCED ON HIS HIP AND GLARING AT MAUL FOR STEALING HIS DAD

General Kenobi: Ahsoka's babysitting. Anakin: I'm her master, I don't need babysitting, this is-- General Kenobi: Fine, then you need supervision, so that you don't blow up a training salle again. Anakin: And you think Ahsoka would stop me? General Kenobi, eye twitching: Fine, I'm leaving you with Plo.

Even if he’s mentally an adult Anakin always needs supervision Look at canon! Anakin was left without supervision for like two days and he became a Sith

Quinlan gets distracted by how attractive General Kenobi is and tells Obi-Wan "dude, you're gonna be so hot once you can get rid of the stupid haircut" and Obi-Wan pushes him into the nearest pond.

They end up with this weird "Uncle Jango" situation (uncle to Anakin, via weird brotherhood-ish to Cody) because Rex and Cody are just like "Uhhhhhhhhh yeah okay" about him eventually, and Jango just like. Drops by. Trying to Earn Affection Of Blood Kin by bringing weird gifts for them and their (ugh) Jedi.

"Okay, Rex'ika, I stopped by Shili--" "What?" "--and apparently this is a delicacy there, so just... your girlfriend will like it." "She's not my girlfriend." "..." "Okay, I can't call her my girlfriend. Jedi have rules about that sort of thing, and--" "This will make your Jedi happy, probably. Just take it, kid."

Baby Anakin got his arm back but for some inexplicable reason still has The Eye Scar. He matches Buir.

[lampmanliveblogs]

This guy took Edward Bloom’s words to heart. When you party, you party, and you party hard!

He also had three eyes. Boscha's ancestor confirmed?

Pfft.

That nitpicky observation I made about Lilith stumbling over a non-existent rock turned out to be the funniest joke of the episode thus far. This is genius! I literally do not care if it turns out you were all trolling me and this episode has no big reveals whatsoever, this joke made it all worth it.

Blessed be ye, you wonderful person Lilith.

Lilith really is all that I aspire to be. Smart. Educated. Good at dancing. Sadly, I am none of these. I did place a curse on my sister though, so we have that in common at least. Maybe one day I can be as cool an uncle as Lilith is an aunt.

First and foremost, King basically just called Eda his mom. I know he changed his name and all in Eda’s Requiem, but that was more affirming that he saw her as family. Family can be complicated and not alway straight-forward. So to hear him call Dell his grandpa confirms he sees Eda as his mother. It is wholesome and cute.

Oh, and I guess Dell is here. According to Gwendoly, he’s supposed to be an expert on palisman making (which might come on handy should Luz ever need help making hers, just saying). In fact, the Clawthorne Clan is supposed to be a long line of expert palisman crafters.

Hey, uh, Eda? You look a bit… worried there. Thinking about the time you turned into the Owlbeast and clawed your dad’s eye out? It should be fresh in your memory, it wasn’t that long since you were forced to relive that memory in your dreams.

Luz is pointing out what I was just about to point out myself. These Savage Ages seem to be not so savage. Boneborough looks cleaner and safer than in present times. We see people helping each other and a little kid showing great skill with magic even at a young age.

The thing I find interesting though is that this is wild magic. The term ”wild” carries with it a connotation of something untamed and unpredictable. The magic the people of this era practice is obviously still very sophisticated. There might have been some advancements in some fields since, but it really does seem to me like the only thing that Belos ever did was limit what people can do. Constraining them to one type of magic per witch, limiting and eliminating choices.

Lilith says it’s because the  Titan ”supposedly” wants it so. That word, supposedly, is telling. It means that Lilith isn’t sure if that actually is the Titan’s will. Despite having had her entire life to get brainwashed, she is now considering what I already believe to be the case; Belos is no prophet of the Titan.

This is where I have to end things off for today. I will be back tomorrow and hopefully conclude this episode. See you all then!

[saeyoungchoismaid]

in all honesty, i don't know how this would work, but it intrigued me.

24 + diavolo, maybe? if you can find inspiration for it :)

You did it perfectly anon!! FINALLY an ask for hubby Diavolo <3 Lmao this was just supposed to be a little drabble like the rest of them but nO I just hAd to go overboard. So now I have to add all this mess:

Pairing: Lord Diavolo x gn!reader Genre: angst, fluff, fake dating au Warnings: uh his dad hates you??? Summary: With the Demon King wanting Diavolo to find someone to rule with him, it’s only natural that he lies and says he’s already found someone(you), right?  Word Count: 2k words (so much for this being a drabble lmao)

24. kisses for a cover (I’m assuming this means like a cover up like a lie)

Being the prince of The Devildom comes with many responsibilities, including but not limited to: running The Devildom since his father has no interest in The Devildom’s affairs, hosting events and gatherings to strengthen his bonds with other lords and the other rulers of the three worlds, keeping an eye on the student council (which is mostly composed of meddlesome brothers that he cares for deeply), and the list goes on. 

Oh, can’t forget the fact that he is required to marry and have someone to rule by his side. Yeah, that’s apparently an important one. He’s always realized his responsibility and has accepted all parts of his life as fact, but when you come down from the human world to participate in his program, his solid plans suddenly all come to a screeching halt. 

It becomes clear to him that he can’t go and marry someone just for the sake of The Devildom. I mean, he’s been ruling The Devildom for most of his life just fine without someone else! He decided he wasn’t going to do it. He doesn’t want to marry anyone except for you and when he does, it’ll be because you two are ready for marriage, not because it’s his duty as prince. 

His father didn’t like that though. 

Despite Diavolo being the ruler of The Devildom, he is not yet the Demon King. That title still belongs to his father, who always has the final say. And in this case, his final say is that Diavolo cannot rule the kingdom on his own any longer. 

Diavolo sees red when he hears this news. 

It isn’t until his father decides to host a party to introduce him to possible suitors that Diavolo lies and says he’s already found someone to rule by his side. When asked who, Diavolo says your name, and, of course, his father wants to meet you right away. 

The only thing is, Diavolo hasn’t told you of his true feelings, meaning you are oblivious to how he truly feels about you. His father cannot know of this though. So, with Diavolo on his knees before you, he begs you to pretend to be his lover. He promises that he’ll do whatever you ask of him, as long as you do him this favor. 

Unbeknownst to Diavolo though, you’re just as crazy about him as he is about you. So of course you agree to his plan. 

Asmo helps you with your appearance, Satan teaches you some big words to use in front of the Demon King to impress him, Lucifer teaches you the proper mannerism to use in front of him, Mammon lets you wear his most expensive jewelry, Beel shows you the correct silverware to use during the dinner and in what order to eat it in, plus what to avoid, Levi gives you history facts about The Devildom and what the Demon King has done for it before Diavolo took over, and Belphie reminds you to flatter the Demon King as much as possible to please him. Barbatos, of course, goes over everything with you again to make sure your success is definite. 

When you’re finally ready, Diavolo picks you up at six o’clock sharp to bring you back to his father’s mansion for dinner. He smiles when he sees you, though his smile shrinks a bit when he notices how stiff and nervous you are. 

“You look beautiful,” he whispers to you when you reach him, gently taking a hold of your hand to kiss the back of it. His smile returns to its original state when you smile at him, your cheeks gaining heat to them at the compliment. 

“Thank you. You look quite dapper yourself,” you reply softly, admiring him in his fancy suit. His smile turns into a grin, happy to hear that you like his suit. His tie is your favorite color and everything. 

“Well, let’s get going,” he says as he leads you to the car and helps you get in. He talks to you about every and anything on the way there, trying to distract you and calm you down before you arrive. It works up until the car pulls up in front of his father’s mansion, your throat suddenly going dry. “You’ll do great,” he promises. 

He helps you out just like how he had helped you in before assisting you up the grand steps. When you reach the door, he gives a single powerful knock before waiting. You two aren’t waiting long before the door is flying open and a small woman is standing there. “Good evening. Please come in,” she greets meekly, pulling the grand door open for you two to walk inside. 

You two are then led to the dining room, where your chairs are pulled out for you two to sit. Within the next minute, the Demon King is walking in. “Welcome, welcome! I’m glad you two made it here okay!” he greets, surprising you with how chipper he seems. He takes a seat at the head of the grand table, your hands starting to shake a bit in his presence despite how friendly he seems. During Levi’s history lesson, he told you about all the scary things he’s done in his time. 

As soon as he’s taken his seat, servants are flocking in with trays of drinks and appetizers. You all wait until they’re gone before beginning to eat. You stare down at your plate, trying to remember everything Beel and Lucifer taught you. Why are there three spoons and three forks? Surely you don’t need that many. You glance at Diavolo and pick up the same fork as him, taking a deep breath to help relax your nerves. 

You glance at the Demon King to find that he looks satisfied with your silverware choice. Was this a test? You don’t have time to ponder it before he’s firing into questions about you. The first one being: “So, you’re...human?” How are you supposed to answer that? Of course you are, and he obviously knows this. 

“Um, yes,” you stutter out, feeling your cheeks flush when you realize your mistake. “Yes, your highness!”  He lets out a small hum, seeming to make a mental note of your mistake. From there, things seem to only get worse. It’s like you suddenly forgot how to speak like a normal person and things you’d never say are flying out of your mouth. You’re just trying to impress him and make him approve of you but you’re doing the exact opposite. 

It isn’t until the end of dinner that he announces this. 

“You know, son, I’m not sure this one is the best idea,” he starts, frowning at you as he gives you a once over. Before he can even continue though, Diavolo is standing up and glaring down at his father with a look of pure anger. You’ve never seen him so worked up before.

“I don’t care what you think about them! You told me to find someone to rule with and that’s what I’ve done. I love them and they will be by my side as I rule over The Devildom!” he announces, making your jaw drop as you stare up at him. You close your mouth and clench your jaw though when you remember what you’re here for. He doesn’t actually love you. He’s saying all of this to convince his father that he’s found someone who will rule with him. 

You apparently tuned out of the conversation at the wrong time because the next thing you know, you’re being tugged up by Diavolo and his lips are finding yours. Your eyes go wide in shock despite your brain trying to yell at your body not to show any signs of surprise. It’s easier said than done though. 

All too soon for your liking, Diavolo is pulling away from your lips. Something flashes in his eyes—hope or love maybe? Eh, who are you kidding—before he’s turning to look at his father again. “You see? I don’t want anyone else; I want them! They’re mine and I’m theirs!” he shouts at his father. Before he can reply to his son, Diavolo is dragging you out of the room and to the front of the house where the car is awaiting you both. 

Diavolo is silent for a long time while you two drive back home, a heavy frown on his face and his knuckles white with how tight he’s clenching his fists. “I’m sorry for all of that,” he apologizes softly, bringing your eyes away from his hands to his face. He’s not looking at you though, simply staring out his window at the scenery passing him by. 

“It’s okay. I understand. Barbatos informed me of your relationship with your father,” you say softly. They get along and all, but they more often than not end up in some sort of disagreement. It’s normally about how things are being done in The Devildom though. 

He sighs and reaches over to take your hand in his, staring down at the small hand in his big one. “I hope you’ll still consider my proposal,” he says softly, making your brows furrow. 

“What proposal?” you ask. His eyes finally meet yours and your heart skips a beat at how expressive his eyes are. 

“To rule The Devildom with me, of course,” he replies like it’s obvious. Your brows shoot up to your hairline at this news though. 

“What? I thought that was just something you were telling your father, so he wouldn’t force you to marry some rando,” you rush out, trying to wrap your mind around his words. There’s no way he actually wants you to rule The Devildom with him. You wouldn’t know the first thing about ruling over thousands of other people—er, demons.  

His brows knit together at your response, his other hand moving to grab your free one. “(Y/n), I’m sorry. I...I should’ve said something sooner,” he whispers, staring down at your hands now. This only confuses you more though. 

“Tell me what sooner?” 

He’s silent for a long moment, trying to gather the right words he wants to say. “I love you. What I said back there, it’s true. I want you to be by my side and help me to run The Devildom. You have so many good ideas and suggestions, I just know you’ll make a wonderful leader.” 

Now you’re just gaping at him like a fish. 

“What? No. No, I...I can’t,” you mumble, pulling your hands out of his. He just pulls them right back to him though. 

“You can’t? Can’t what? Be with me?” he asks softly, his voice sounding close to breaking, just like his heart. 

“No! No, I...I want to be with you. I love you too. I just...I don’t know the first thing when it comes to ruling over demons, most of which want to eat me,” you reply, trying to sound playful and joking but failing, your words being too true and hitting too close to home.

That didn’t stop Diavolo from smashing his lips to yours for a passionate kiss though. “That doesn’t matter. None of it does as long as I get to be with you. I’ll even step down from being King for you,” he mumbles against your lips after you two pull back for air. 

“No, don’t do that. These people need you just as much as I do. I’ll learn how to rule with time. Just stay by my side, okay?” you whisper back, pulling away from his face enough to look up into his eyes. 

He smiles brighter than The Devildom’s moon as he nods his head rapidly. “I swear I will. I’ll help you every step of the way.” He seals his promise with another kiss...and then another...and then just one more to be sure.

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[icerosecrystal]

An Unexpected Turn Of Events

Mominette Month 2021

Day 01 - Find A Child

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Authors note: Hi, everyone! Just one quick to let you all know so that this fic is not confusing for you. This fic is a reverse Robin fic. In other words, Dick is the youngest instead of the eldest, and Damian is the oldest instead of the youngest. This same thing applies to all of the other bat children as well.

Marinette sighed in relief as she finished rifling through her purse. She had woken up late and had hastily left her hotel room for her consultation. She had thankfully not left behind anything that she would need during the consultation. Feeling a bit paranoid, she looked once more through her purse, and there was the tape measure, pencils, notebook, sewing kit, and the NDAs. She may or may not have flipped through the grimoire belonging to the guardians and found the spell for expanding the space in her purse to be the way it was for her yo-yo when she transforms into Ladybug. Unlike her yo-yo, the expansion was still limited. But the extra space was still beneficial.

As Marinette was walking, she pulled out her phone to look at the time. 9:50, she thought, leaves me enough time to get to Wayne Tower by 10:00 if I want to be on time. As she was putting her phone away, she felt something hit her legs and torso. She let out a slight oof at the unexpected weight against her lower body. As she peered down, she saw a cute boy, probably around eight years old clinging onto her legs. He had black hair, and as he looked up at her with teary eyes, she saw the most devastating sparkling blue eyes she had ever seen. His slightly chubby cheeks were flushed pink, and his nose also had a pink tinge to it. The flushness was probably a result of the choked sobs he was currently letting out.

As Marinette looked around, she realized that none of the nearby grown-ups looked to be his parents, nor did they look like they were missing a child. She bent down and smiled softly at him, hoping to calm him down a bit. After a beat or two, her smile seemed to do the trick, and his sobs reduced down to a few tears. Once she knew that he had calmed down, she softly whispered, “ Hey, honey. Are you lost? Do you want me to find your parents?”

He sniffled a few times before replying with a slight tremor in his voice, “Yes. Please help me find my Boose.”

“Your Boose?” Marinette questioned.

“Yes,” he slightly whimpered, “Boose is my new daddy. My other daddy and mommy had to say goodbye to me.”

Marinette gasped in shock at his words. This poor kid, so young, and yet his parents were gone. Dead. Marinette thought about the many akumas which her parents didn’t survive. She then shook herself out of her thoughts. Come on, Marinette. Stop worrying about yourself all time. Your parents are okay now. But this kid is lost! Get out of your head! Steeling herself, she gently asked him, “What’s your name, hon? Mine is Marinette, but you can call me Mari..”

Surprised by the kindness and warmth in her voice, he stuttered out, “Richard… but I like Dick better. Richard sounds old. I’m not old!” He then shyly added, “It’s nice to meet you, miss. You have a pretty name.”

Marinette smiled as she saw his confidence growing with every word he spoke. Marinette laughed aloud at the words he shyly said, “It’s nice to meet you too.” She then questioned, “Do you remember where your daddy is?”

Dick was now bouncing on his heels, and he squealed out in excitement, “Yes! My daddy is in the big, tall building with the huge ‘W’ on it!”

The corners of her mouth twitched in amusement. Dick’s excitement was infectious. His words then caught up to her. Well! It looked like luck was on her side after all! She would have enough time to get Dick back to his dad and still be on time for her consultation. She stood back up and then smiled down at him, “Well, I’m heading there too! So why don’t I take you back to your daddy?”

Dick nodded his head rapidly before holding her hand with his much smaller one. They then started walking towards Wayne Tower. Dick continued to babble on about the most random of things. He talked about his grumpy older brother, who it seemed begrudgingly liked him. He also discussed the many pets his older brother had. It also seemed like Dick’s adoptive dad had a slight problem with adopting too many children from what could be told from the many siblings that Dick mentioned.

When the door of Wayne Tower came into sight, Dick stopped talking, allowing them to walk in comfortable silence. As she was about to speak to ask him where in the building his father worked or the name of his dad, Dick blurted out, “I like you, Miss Mari. Can you be my mommy? I don’t have a new one yet!”

Marinette stopped in shock before trying to stutter out something, anything, but all of her words were incoherent. What do you say in response to a question like that, she thought to herself? She saw Dick looking at her for an answer, and after a while, he decided to pull out some puppy eyes. Shoot! Marinette thought. I need to say something to stall for time. At least until I get him to his dad. She reassured him, “I am thinking about my answer, Dickie! But how about we first get back to your daddy, and then we talk about it?”

Dick contemplated her words before nodding in agreement and practically bouncing through the doors. Marinette sighed in relief and also walked through the doors. Her head was down as she speculated what she should do about Dick’s question. Suddenly, a rough voice spoke up in front of her, “Hello. Ms. Dupain-Cheng, I presume.”

Marinette lifted her head, and there in front of her was Bruce Wayne, her newest client. And clinging to him was the very boy that was holding her hand just seconds ago. She suddenly remembered hearing something about Bruce Wayne adopting the son of some acrobats who were in an accident. The name of the kid was Richard Grayson! She hadn’t made the connection!

Realizing that Bruce was looking for an answer, she hastily stuck out her hand, stuttering, “That is correct, Monsieur Wayne. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

He stared at her hand before gently taking it and raising the back of her hand to his lips. “Please, the pleasure is all mine. Let’s make our way upstairs.”

She blushed at his gentlemanly actions before squeaking out a small, “Let’s.” The three of them climbed into the elevator and went to the top floor of the building. The doors of the elevator opened up, and Bruce gestured for her to go first. She did so and looked around at the beautiful interior of the building that she had not yet noticed. Bruce then opened up the door to what seemed to be his office. Inside she saw there to be seven kids. She smiled at them in greeting. Most of them smiled back at her. The exception to this was what looked to be the oldest and one of the younger ones. (Damian and Jason, if you didn’t figure it out.)

Marinette felt Bruce step closer so that he was next to her before he spoke once more, “These are all of my children, biological, adopted, or otherwise.” He pointed to the man with stunning green eyes stating, “This is my oldest son, Damian. He’s 22.” Damian gave a tight-lipped smile in response, along with a slight tilt of his head.

Next, Bruce gestured to what looked to be the second oldest saying, “This is Tim. He’s 18 years old.” He was sipping coffee and giving the briefest of nods to her. He looked seconds away from collapsing.

He then acknowledged a blonde girl, remarking, “This is Stephanie, but she likes to be called Steph. She’s 17 years old.” The girl seemed to be bouncing in place and close to bursting from excitement.

He pointed to a rough-looking boy stating, “This here is Jason. He just turned 15. He’s a few months older than the next youngest.” The boy smirked at Marinette in acknowledgment of his introduction.

Bruce finally gestured to a girl with Asian features saying, “This is Cassandra or Cass. She’s 14, but like I said, a few months younger than Jason.” The girl seemed to be peering through her very soul. After gazing for a few seconds, she hummed in what Marinette deemed to be satisfied as if she liked what she saw.

Bruce then turned towards her, “And you’ve already met Richard or Dick. Thank you for bringing him back.”

Marinette smiled in acknowledgment of his compliment before replying, “It was nothing Monsieur Wayne. He was all alone, so I had to help him. But he was delightful the whole time. Now as for what I came here for, what type of clothes have you been looking for–”.

But before she could continue, Dick blurted out, “Daddy, I like Ms. Mari! Can we keep her? I want her to be my mommy!”

The result was instant. The room burst into a flurry of noises, each of Bruce’s kids trying to speak over one another. Marinette was blushing very brightly. In fact, from how hot her face felt, she was sure that she was inventing new shades of red. Marinette looked over to see Bruce’s reaction and squeaked when she saw him staring at her with a sharp, analytical gaze.

Marinette took a few breathes to calm herself down. She then softened both her gaze and voice as she addressed Dick, “Dickie, honey, as much as I loved meeting you and talking with you, I, unfortunately, cannot be your mommy. Bruce is your daddy, and he will someday find a lovely lady who will be your mommy.”

At her last sentence, all or most of the kids seemed to have snorted in amusement. It seemed as if they disagreed with her statement. Dick looked sad and seemed to be growing teary-eyed. Marinette looked over to Bruce for some help but only found him concealing the amusement that he was most likely feeling quite well. If she hadn’t been Ladybug, she probably would have never noticed the slight bit of emotion peaking through his mask. She glared at him reproachfully as if saying, this is your kid, so you need to help me convince him that I would not make a good mother.

He rolled his eyes in return as if trying to say, Don’t kid yourself. You would make an excellent mother. And you’re already attached to him, don’t deny it.

As Marinette sighed in response, Bruce turned away from her towards Dick and knelt to his level. He then gently said, “Now Dick. Miss Mari can’t be your mommy.” Marinette started nodding as if agreeing with Bruce’s words. But then stopped when he continued, “But she can visit you and maybe one day be your mommy.”

Marinette opened and closed her mouth, no words coming out. Before shyly looking down before raising her head, stammering, “Well, I guess I could visit.”

All the kids started cheering in response. The exception to this was Damian. But the corner of his lips was slightly raised as if the start of a smile. Dick bounded over to her, hugging her and babbling out everything he wanted to do with her. And in all the chaos, Marinette’s and Bruce’s eyes met. They both exchanged small smiles.

Marinette then clapped her hands together, reminding them, “I do still have to do a consultation with all of you. So how about we do that, and then we can do something fun together?” Seeing everyone’s nods, Marinette then continued with the consultation. But unbeknownst to anyone in the room, their relationship would change drastically in the coming months. But ultimately, it would change for the better.

One Year Later

It has been a year since the faithful day when Dick requested Marinette to be his mom. And since then, they only seemed to grow closer. She had met Alfred, Bruce’s Psuedo father and the children’s pseudo grandfather. She thought that he was extraordinary. And honestly godsent. She also experienced a lot of adventures with the Waynes. In fact, after only four months of knowing each other, she figured out that they were the Bat-Family. She had caught them once after patrol and raised her eyebrow as if demanding an answer, and god did she get an answer from them!

Marinette and Bruce had also started dating. This change in their relationship occurred a few weeks after she found out their identities. They were now engaged to be married in a few months. All the children had warmed up to Marinette over the months, even Damian, who always withheld his emotions. But they had all come to see her as their mother figure and were ever so grateful for her. And so they wanted to do something for her birthday.

The very morning of her birthday, everything went wrong. Marinette woke up to quite the sight. All over the kitchen was what looked to be cake batter. It seemed as if they were trying to put the baking she had taught them to good use, but they had also made the cake batter explode. Marinette and Bruce stared at the mess before they both started laughing. Marinette had a light, melodic laugh, while Bruce had a very gruff laugh.

Marinette beckoned all of them forward for a hug before proclaiming, “I love that you all were trying to do something for me, but none of you had to do anything. But it’s the thought that counts, so thank you. But next time, please stay away from the kitchen.”

She then shooed them on their way before getting two mops, handing one to Bruce as she passed by him. She kissed him on the cheek before starting to clean up the mess, Bruce following her actions. She then quietly snickered, “Well, this was quite a sight to wake up to on your birthday. I would have thought that today would have been relaxing.”

She looked up to see Bruce shoot her a small look before shaking his head in amusement. “Mari, darling, when has our lives with them ever been relaxing? They are always getting into trouble.”

She snorted in response, “Yes, well, they get it from their father.”

Bruce glared at her lightly before pulling her into a deep kiss, “I don’t know. Their mother seems to be just as chaotic sometimes.”

She shook her head in amusement, pulling herself away from Bruce’s embrace and questioning, “How is this even my life anymore?”

He chuckled lightly, alerting her that he was about to sass her in some way. “Well, from what I remember, about a year ago, you came across this kid that–”

Marinette held up a finger to his mouth, stopping him from uttering another word. She was also glaring at him reproachfully. “Yes, I do know-how. I was there. Now go away so that I can clean up the rest of the kitchen. You’re distracting me.”

He let go of his mop before giving her another deep kiss and then darting away. As he strolled out of the room, he shouted over his shoulder, “Oh, I know how distracting I am. I am well aware of how irresistible I am, ma coccinelle.” He could hear her spluttering in response before yelling back at him, but he continued on his way to his office. Along the way, he chuckled to himself.

Back in the kitchen, Marinette was glaring at nothing. She was also plotting ways to show her fiance who the irresistible one was. She then sighed in happiness. Yes, her life was amazing. A year ago, if someone told her this would be her life, she wouldn’t have believed it. But now she was living it, and god was it amazing. Funny what finding a child will do to you, Marinette thought to herself before carrying on with her task of cleaning up the mess her kids had made. Yeah, life was amazing.

2,683 words

I actually got it done!

~ ❄ Crystal ❄

@mominettemonth

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[servin-up-surveys]

survey #182

When was the last time you admired some flowers? What kind/color were they? Recently; they were white crape myrtles.

Are you in the process of watching or re-watching a series at the moment? I could never, ever picture myself rewatching a whole series ever again, you can barely get me to sit through a new one, but Girt and I are working on The Rain for the first time.

If so, how many seasons does it have? And what season are you currently on? There are three right now, and we're on two.

Has anyone you know gotten a new pet recently? Yes, my sister Misty's family adopted a corgi (I can't remember her name), and I think someone I shot pictures for once recently got a panther chameleon because she's been posting quite a few videos with him.

How old were you 10 years ago? Who were your closest friends at that point? 17, yeesh. Ten whole years ago... Jason was my boyfriend and closest friend, then there was Summer, Hannia, Girt, Alon, Maria, Megan...

Do you still speak to any of them? Summer and I talk/see each other sometimes because she's actually part of my sister's inlaws' family, Girt and I are together, and Megan and I sometimes interact over Facebook, but we don't really talk, I also have Alon on there, but she barely touches it so we don't really talk either.

Have you ever kissed someone of another race? I mean my boyfriend's father was pure Native American, but despite the fact he doesn't visibly display any traditional traits whatsoever, it'd be incorrect to say he's totally Caucasian.

Are there any races you wouldn't kiss? No, race means exactly nothing to me with relationships.

What is your favorite thing about your best friend? He is extremely trustworthy and honest. I never feel like he's hiding something from me or sugarcoating things, but he's also gentle with me. His balance in this stuff is incredible.

What do you mostly have in common with your best friend? We're very introverted. Love video games.

Do you like it when men shave their chests? If you are a guy, do you shave? I don't care.

What is your favorite kind of video game? Horror ones, specifically psychological or survival.

When you’re visiting a site, do you still type "www."? No.

What can you hear right now? I'm watching Markiplier's Resident Evil 8 LP. Two years late, but... I'm apparently having a streak of wanting to watch his stuff again.

Do you think it’s okay for kids to have cellphones? Yes, HOWEVER I definitely support limiting screen time and gauging what they're allowed to do on there with age but especially maturity. At the very beginning, I'm all for being able to call your guardians, because that cellphone might save your baby's life in horrible situations like abductions. From there, you be the judge based on your unique child and various factors relating to them.

Do you watch anime? If so, what are some of your favorites? Yeah, they can have very interesting plots. My favorite is Fullmetal Alchemist (including the Brotherhood iteration of it, idk which I enjoy more), and I'm also fond of Ginga Densetsu Weed and Deadman Wonderland. I've seen a decent chunk of Attack on Titan and was also into it.

Do you have any siblings? If so which one of them do you get along with the best? I have six technically, but I only know five. I don't really know which one I get along with best; I feel like Katie and I have the most compatibility, but I don't feel particularly "close" to any of my siblings and I fucking hate that.

What’s your favorite TV show? And who’s your favorite character from it? Meerkat Manor is my favorite show of all time, and Mozart was my favorite character.

Have you violated any of the 10 Commandments? If so, what? Yeah; I don't give a fuck about honoring God's name or even respecting him in any way or form.

Do people think you look like either of your parents? Does that offend you? I've heard both, and no. I'll admit as a kid having someone say I looked like my dad was mildly offensive just because I was a girl and he's a man, but I certainly don't give a shit now because I know what they mean, just features.

Do you prefer regular bacon or turkey bacon? Regular, turkey bacon is gross.

Do you think it’s weird when people talk to their pets like people? No? I honestly think that's probably very healthy for the animal, and the owner too. I think it strengthens bonds, and it must certainly make the pet feel included and like family to be treated like how you treat other people.

What is the last place, other than home, that you stayed overnight? Uhhhh I feel like I haven't done that in over a year now; I'm quite sure the last time was when I was in the hospital last... March or May, whatever it was.

What is the furthest you have traveled alone? Illinois.

Have you ever dated someone simply for their looks? No.

Have you ever been drunk? No, only lightly tipsy.

What was the name of the main character in the last book you read? Blue, in the book I'm currently reading. The last book I finished, Qibli was the protagonist.

What are three of your favorite toppings for salads? Bacon bits, cucumber, and uh... that's basically it lmfao, my salads are very simple. There's too many additions I DON'T like.

Do you prefer pizza or hot dogs? Pizza.

What is your favorite pizza topping? If I could only pick one, I'd say just regular ol' pepperoni.

Is your dad a jerk? I think he's... oblivious, if anything. He doesn't TRY to be mean, he's really very funny and playful but majorly socially unfiltered. Basically, I think he's capable of being unpleasant, but it's rarely malicious. He's just an old grampa with a few screws kinda loose lol

Is anyone in your family currently in the military? No, not that I know of.

What is your favorite dog breed? Meh I always answer this with such a big list, I love so many. I have been newly very into shar peis, though. There's an Instagram one that I'm obsessed with.

Have you found any gray hairs on your head? No, that might be the day I crumble lol

Do you own a bikini? Oh hell no, I haven't since I was a teenager.

If you were a rockstar, what color guitar would you have? I want to say pink, but REALISTICALLY, I'm not sure I would. Probably mostly black, and it'd probably have skulls and/or occult-ish stuff on it.

Would you rather have a personal chef or personal house cleaner? HOUSE CLEANER.

Do you have any zits on your face right now? Ugh I have one on the upper right of my hairline right now. You can't see it unless I pull my hair back, thankfully. It's not a terrible one, at least.

What are three of your favorite bakery items? Cinnamon rolls, donuts, muffins.

What are three creative hobbies you enjoy? Writing, photography, drawing.

What are three things you like about church? I like how they look and that is literally it. Besides appearance, I only have negative shit to say about them. I grew up forced into church and will never set foot into a sermon again.

What was the last type of pie you ate? It was probably trying an apple or peach pie, I'm not a fan.

Which book did you love when you were younger? The Warriors series by S.E. Hinton was a major obsession.

Which book series could you read again? ^ I actually kinda wanna get back into that once I'm caught up in Wings of Fire, but idk, it's been so so many years that I don't even remember where I stopped, but I know I was deeeep in, so I'd hate re-reading it all. I don't re-read stuff.

Tell me about your first breakup, if you had one. I mean that *technically* woulda been with Aaron, and that was... nothing, given it was a very puppy love situation; I wasn't ready for dating yet. My first real, serious breakup was Jason, and well I tried to kill myself ultimately because of it, so-

Which person would you chose to travel the world with? I'd like it to be Girt, but realistically it would probably be my mom; my boyfriend is such a homebody, like he genuinely doesn't like vacations/traveling and I think he's insane.

Do you have (a) stuffed animal(s) sitting in your room? Which one(s)? Lots of meerkats, there's a Cheshire cat, grumpy cat, a cute lil circular bat, a random fennec fox, and my favorite plushie from childhood, a moose. I plan on trimming the numbers down though whenever I redecorate my room.

Have you ever had to do a doubletake on someone 'cuz they were so pretty? Oh I've totally done this with Alon at some point, god when I look back I can't believe I never realized THEN that my ass ain't straight lmfao

Is your last ex currently in a relationship? I have no idea, I don't keep up with her at all; even if I'm curious of how she is/what she's up to, I don't allow myself to look at any of her socials.

Who was the last female you were introduced to? ummmm I'm actually not sure? Probably a doctor, realistically.

Who was the last male you were introduced to? A family friend's friend, Larry.

Do you use a nightlight? Yeah; it's a little Saturn lamp that I can change the colors of.

What’s your opinion on border control? Look dude I don't even want borders TO exist; every single goddamn person has as much right to be on this earth in any specific location as anyone else, get the hell outta here with that "illegal human" horseshit.

What are your favorite things to create? Feral meerkat OCs.

What’s something you prefer to keep private? My sexual life.

Are you good at prioritizing? NO

If you’re not religious, were you ever? What made you lose faith? Yes, and fucking life itself. A few months back I made a massive FB post regarding why I left my faith, and in the end it really made me realize that I have bad religious wounds, maybe even trauma but I'm not 100% sure if it's to that extent. I just know I'm extremely hateful towards religions like Christianity, and it's something I actually recently broke down over because I WANT to chill out with how the very topic sets me on fucking fire; I'm never going to like faiths like those, but I want to be kinder towards their existence and just stop being SO bothered by them and other people having them. It prompted me to try to find a therapist specializing in religious trauma (didn't get far btw, thanks shitty insurance <3).

What feeling do you have the most difficulty in expressing? Envy, most likely. It makes me very uncomfortable.

When was the last time you looked at your significant other/crush’s Facebook profile? Oh jesus I'm not sure, I never look at it, really. Especially when he touches FB like, never, and never updates anything, what would even be the point?