Vincent Gerrard had made a mistake.
Probably the biggest mistake of his career. Hell, probably the biggest mistake of his life.
When Gerrard heard about Capt Nash’s heart attack and subsequent health sabbatical, he immediately volunteered to step in as the acting captain of the 118. I mean, he’d already BEEN their captain, and poor firefighter Wilson was too wrapped up in a battle with that congresswoman to even think of taking on more work. He’d be the perfect substitute.
That’s what he told the Chief anyway. His real reason was private, though he was sure the 118 had immediately figured it out.
It started at the award ceremony. The way his jab at Kinard didn’t seem to bruise too much what with Han and that Buckley kid acting as guard dogs. And speaking of Han, his snide remark about him keeping the floor clean being met with Han’s confident comment equating Gerard to filth really pissed him off. Then he saw Buckley and Kinard getting all lovey dovey with each other during the reception and that was truly the final straw. He once had this station under his thumb. No one wanted to go against him. Now it seemed they didn’t care what he thought. He wanted to make all of their lives hell.
At first, it started great! They seemed genuinely terrified when he walked in and announced he was taking over command. He could see the panic and resignation in their eyes. Even Buckley, Diaz and, Panikkar, who he never worked with. Han, Wilson, and Kinard must have told stories of him, which really warmed his cold dead heart. He had a legacy.
He decided to go after Buckley first. He didn’t know the kid, but since Kinard didn’t work at the 118 he figured going for his boyfriend was the next best thing. Almost better. Maybe he could plant some seeds and ruin their relationship.
That didn’t happen.
“So Buckley,” Gerrard started one afternoon while eating lunch. He was sitting at the head of the table, Buckley to his left, Panikkar to his right. Diaz was next to Buckley then Han across from him. They all stopped to look at Gerrard, wary of what was going to come out of his mouth next. He savored the moment for a beat.
“How long you been dating Kinard?”
Buckley met his eyes with a hesitant, untrusting look as he answered “About two months now.”
“Hmm,” Gerrard answered, chewing on his bite of sandwich before then asking “so were you always a queer or did he turn you?”
The whole table glared at him for what felt like ten years. No one with more vehemence than Buckley. But then…
“Actually!” Buckley said with a big smile, gesturing with the fork he was using to eat his leftover lasagna, “he was my bisexual awakening so I guess in a way he ‘turned’ me, but in the same way you turn a light on, you know? Like it was always there, it just took someone flicking the switch to light it. See, we met when Chim called him up for a favor, and, I can be honest about it now, my very first thought when I met him was “wow”, cause like, well you’ve seen him. He’s just so big, and dreamy, and his eyes are so pretty, and his smile is electrifying. And I called him up for a tour of Harbor ‘cuz I wanted to see him again and then I got jealous ‘cuz he was spending time with Eddie but then Tommy came to my apartment and we talked things out and we had this kinda deep conversation and then he KISSED ME and it was like “wow that’s what’s been bothering me lately, I want him!” And then we went on this date, and I acted dumb, but he was sweet about it and let me down easy ‘cuz he thought I wasn’t ready, then I couldn’t get him out of my head so I called him for coffee and he actually showed and I told him I wanted to give it another go and I invited him to my sisters wedding, which ok yeah I-I-I know that’s kinda crazy, but listen I can’t be held accountable for my actions when he looks at me with that really soft fond look and he’s wearing a well fitted grey tee shirt, and he’s got this adorable cleft chin, and- anyway- yeah so he agreed and he showed up to my sisters wedding even though he had spent the last, like, 12 hours fighting a wild fire because he knew it was important to me, and I MAY have jumped him in the entryway but you can’t really blame me for that. So yeah, he’s an incredible guy, and he’s shown up for me in ways no one I’ve ever dated has, and he makes me feel safe and secure, a-and happier than I’ve ever felt. Like, I can see a future with him, you know? Marriage, kids, the whole package. It’s early, like really early, I know, but hey, when you know you know right?”
And wasn’t that just a whole heap of information Gerrard hadn’t asked for.
Buckley was smirking at him. Not a lot, but there it was, a cocky smile. A smile that said “you think you can use my relationship against me, but jokes on you fuckface, I’m happy and more than willing to let you know all about it completely against your will.”
The rest of the table was staring at Buckley, Han and Panikkar in mild shock, while Diaz looked like a proud parent who just watched his kid dress down a bully, chewing his salad around a smirk of his own.
“Tommy is a pretty cool dude,” Panikkar noted, deciding that was the best way to break the tension.
“He really is, I’m glad I saved his sorry ass,” Han chimed in, pointing his own fork at Buckley and saying “you’re welcome for that, by the way.”
“Thanks Chim.” Buckley was actually blushing. Jesus.
“You guys have no idea how glad I am Buck’s actually dating someone I like.” Diaz said, earning snickers from the others. “Seriously! Plus, I can actually hang out with Tommy now without Buck trying to break my ankles over it! Thats growth, I’m proud of you.”
And damn if Diaz didn’t actually sound proud of Buckley for that; Gerrard hated the part of himself that wanted to know the story there, because what the hell?
The table fell into easy chatter while Gerrard wondered where he’d gone wrong.
It didn’t get any better. It was like Buckleys initial act of defiance opened the flood gate. Nothing he said was sticking to anyone.
He tried to make more comments to Han insinuating that all he was good for was cleaning the station, but that just led to Han ignoring him and instead talking about his daughter Jee Yun and gushing about how great of a person his wife Maddie is.
“And this picture is from the first time Jee Yun used a spoon by herself. She really is a natural at everything. Picks stuff up on her first try. She gets that from her mom. She’s so amazing. And by she I mean both of them. My girls are truly the most incredible blessings. Oh! Here’s a picture of them asleep on the couch together! Aren’t they cute?”
Gerrard refused to admit they were. He wouldn’t. They won’t break him.
He didn’t know Diaz from before, so he fell back on his tired trick of just being a straight up racist. Diaz decided that Gerrard must be talking about his Swedish half and started to educate him on Sweden. This led to him telling Gerrard about how his son Christopher did a report recently on Sweden. Which of course led to more information about Christopher.
“He’s really such a great kid. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s kind, he’s a bit of a smart ass, he’s popular, and he’s got the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. I’m so lucky to be his dad. He’s saved me more times than I can count. Even at a young age, he just knew exactly what to say to make me feel better when I was down. To look into his eyes and know that I had a hand in creating this incredible life? It’s mind-blowing and so humbling. Here let me show you pictures.”
Gerrard was losing his will to live.
Wilson was more reserved. When he was in her vicinity, she would shoot him a look. It wasn’t necessarily dirty. It was more challenging. Daring. Almost asking for a reason to unleash some pent up fury. He didn’t even bother approaching. She was on the warpath already. A woman not to be messed with. A storm on the near horizon that sent chills down your spine. He remembered her speech from before. He remembered getting transferred out not long after. He was too tired to try it. It didn’t take long for Wilson and her wife to win back custody of their foster daughter and they were able to formally adopt her. After that, he was subjected to pictures of Mara and Denny. She was over the moon with happiness and love. He preferred warpath Wilson.
Panikkar tried to sell him a condo.
He gave up.
Vincent Gerrard was officially broken. It only took two weeks. These people were too happy. Too defiant. Too sure of themselves and their lives. They were also all so supportive of each other. It was sickening. He realized he couldn’t break them. He refused to admit defeat though, so he was subjected to six months of hell. Somehow he even got invited to the Buckley-Kinard house warming party when they moved into their new fixer upper. He had a feeling he’d be roped into putting up shelving. Or he’d be encased in a wall. He declined. Same way he declined the invite to the Han residence for Jee’s birthday and the invite to the Wilson’s for the adoption celebration BBQ. They just wanted to rub their well-beingness into his face and he had enough of that at the station.
Once the six months were up and Nash took the helm again, Gerrard felt he had aged ten years. He fully intended to put in for his retirement. He staunchly ignored the cheers and “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” being played on someone’s Bluetooth speakers as he walked out of the 118 for the last time.
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