#helps having a family member who has chronic pain. you get good management advice
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i’m so sick of everything hurting but my liver was enlarged at the hospital and i just got off a ton of meds so i’m trying not to take any advil rn. out here rawdogging this shit so my body has a chance to heal properly. fucked up
#marzi speaks#i should get back into meditation. it’d be good for me#helps having a family member who has chronic pain. you get good management advice#but yeah a bitch was jaundiced so i’m tryna give my liver a Break
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wellness clinic - IntelliHealthPlus
7 Reasons To Seek Out A Wellness Clinic When it comes to being healthy, many people turn to the internet or their doctor for advice. But what if you don’t have access to either? What if you live in a remote area or your insurance doesn’t cover wellness services? Well, that’s where wellness clinics come in. A wellness clinic is a great option for those who want to get their health and fitness goals on track without having to leave their comfort zone. Here are seven reasons why you should seek out a wellness clinic: 1. They Offer A Wide Range of Services: From weight loss to stress relief, there is a wellness clinic out there that can help you meet your needs. 2. They Are Accessible In Remote Areas: If you don’t have access to a gym or other physical fitness facilities, a wellness clinic may be the perfect solution for you. 3. They Can Offer You Discounts On Services: Many clinics offer discounted rates on services to members and those who are affiliated with the clinic in some way. This means that you can get all the benefits of a wellness program without having to break the bank. 4. They Provide Useful Tips And Advice: When you visit a wellness clinic, you will wellness clinic Health concerns that may require a wellness clinic 1. There are a number of health concerns that may require a wellness clinic. These might include issues like weight loss, chronic pain, anxiety, or depression. 2. A wellness clinic can provide an individualized approach to addressing these concerns, which may be more effective than traditional treatments. 3. In addition to providing treatment, a wellness clinic may also offer free or discounted rates for memberships. Benefits of seeking out a wellness clinic If you're looking for ways to improve your overall health, a wellness clinic may be a good option for you. Here are some of the benefits of seeking out a clinic: 1. They can provide personalized care. A wellness clinic can provide tailored advice and treatment plans specific to your individual needs, which means you'll be more likely to see results. 2. They can help you deal with chronic conditions. A wellness clinic can offer treatments for conditions like hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease that can lead to chronic health problems. 3. They can help you lose weight or manage your weight better. Many clinics offer weight-loss programs and other nutritional guidance to help you achieve your health goals. 4. They typically offer affordable rates. Compared to traditional medical services, wellness clinics tend to be much cheaper and often have shorter waiting times. How to find the right wellness clinic When searching for a wellness clinic, it is important to do your research and find one that fits the needs of you and your family. To find the right clinic for you, here are some tips: 1. Look for clinics with a variety of services. While all clinics offer different types of services, having several options can help ensure that you find the right one for your needs. 2. Consider location. If you want to be able to visit the clinic often, look for one close by. However, if travel is not an option or you just don’t have time to travel, look for a clinic with online services as well. 3. Ask questions. Before making any decisions about which clinic to visit, be sure to ask plenty of questions! This will help you get a good sense of what the clinic has to offer and how it will fit into your lifestyle. 4. Do your research! Again, before making any decisions about which clinic to visit, be sure to do your research! This will help you identify any potential problems or concerns that may arise should you decide to go there.
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Oxytocin Neurone Task And Also Launch Complying With Management Of Melanotan.
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Content
Are Tanning Injections Secure? Exist Any Type Of Negative Effects?
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As with any medication, long-term effects of melanotan ii are not clear. In most cases, people taking the drug report improved sexual libido, stronger erections and less fatigue. Over the long term, however, patients may see some degree of loss of their sex drive. The benefits of taking this hormone for treating impotence and erectile dysfunction are probably more important than the side effects.
The main side effect seen with melanotan use is appetite suppression. The hormone has the ability to affect the brain's hunger centre which makes the patient feel hungrier than normal. Some preliminary studies suggest that it may also suppress the person's thirst. This could explain why diabetics take drugs to slow down their metabolism when they have a high blood sugar level, because the treatment makes them feel fuller faster, which reduces their need to drink.
Some people are at risk for developing an allergic reaction to melanoma, especially if they have a history of tanned skin or fair hair among their family members. In such cases, the use of this hormone could cause an irate form of eczema. Eczema outbreaks tend to be of a red nature and may also appear on your fingers. If you do get an allergic reaction, you should discontinue use of melanotan immediately and contact your doctor for further advice.
Are Tanning Shots Secure? Are There Any Kind Of Adverse Effects?
It's not for everyone. It may cause allergic reaction, swelling, redness, pain and swelling. It can also have some serious side effects, such as bleeding and infection. Before you undergo any kind of cosmetic procedure using melatonin, you should talk to your doctor first. If you have any other medical conditions or if you are currently taking medications, you should stop using them while you're under the influence of melatonin and wait until the medication or the melatonin is properly taken in by your body.
The Medicines as well as Health care items Regulatory Agency is warning individuals not to use it as a result of the possible threats to short as well as long-term wellness.
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Not Offering Any type of Suggestions The material is for informative functions just as well as is not planned to provide details suggestions for you as well as must not be trusted because regard.
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In addition to its use in treating chronic pain and fatigue, melon it is now being investigated for its ability to increase skin pigmentation. It works by inhibiting the effects of a chemical called melanocortin. Melanocortin is responsible for the "frosting" of the skin, a phenomenon that can be caused by age or injury. Inhibiting melanocortin therefore prevents early brown aging and promotes a more even skin tone. While there are https://aus.melanotan.eu/ associated with melon ii use such as headaches, dizziness and nausea, these are generally mild and transient and have no lasting effect.
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Another potential medical uses of melatonin include the treatment of sleep apnea, narcolepsy and seasonal affective disorder. This hormone also helps to control thyroid activity. At melanotan.eu , there is no established treatment for obstructive sleep apnea. Narcolepsy affects mainly young men and is caused by a disturbance of the central nervous system.
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It's very effective in treating dark spots and acne marks. Due to its lightening properties, melanotan it can help to fade age spots, freckles, discoloration and sun damage. Although there are many other skin lightening treatments on the market, melanotan it has none of the side effects and can be easily purchased over the counter. One of the best side effects of melanotan ii is the fact that it improves pigmentation.
Melanotan, also known as "the master inhibitor" is used in the treatment of a range of disorders. The use of Melanotan II for example, has recently been approved by the US Food and Drug Administration. Melanotan II is an artificial analogue of the naturally occurring peptide hormone, melanocyte stimulating hormone, which increases sexual interest and stimulates cell proliferation in the skin. It was initially designed to treat low back pain associated with fatigue. It has been shown to have some effectiveness as an anti-aging product, although its efficacy has been questioned by some recent studies.
Are Melanin Injections Legal In The Uk?
As well as potential medical uses, melanoma has recreational uses. It has been found that men who suffer from impotence and erectile dysfunction have higher levels of melatonin in their bodies. High levels of melatonin have also been found in people who suffer from seasonal affective disorder. This disorder can be temporary or permanent. During periods of seasonal affective disorder, people who suffer from impotence and erectile dysfunction are advised to take a high-potency, long-lasting doses of melanoma.
What is Melanotan? Melanotan is a naturally occurring hormone, produced by the skin pigment in the macula of your eyes. It is a highly complex protein, composed of 30 different subtypes, which have diverse effects on human health. Melanotan (related to vitamin K), is a valuable commodity, with applications ranging from topical cream for the skin to an antibiotic that kills harmful bacteria.
Melanotan is an interesting peptide, a type of hemoglobin, which is the building block of red blood cells. Melanotan is found in abundance in the surface of all colors of the rainbow and is produced from melanocytes in the epidermis. It stimulates the production of melanin and provides a lot of benefits for our health. Here are 5 benefits of Melanotan II:
What Are Melanin.
One of the most common side effects associated with the use of RTML and other melanotan products is the formation of a benign tumor at the level of the stomach and duodenum. This tumor may block the absorption of nutrients and lead to vitamin D deficiency. The patient may experience severe nausea and abdominal pain due to the tumor. Patients with a history of vitamin D insufficiency and a history of stomach ulcer are at increased risk for the development of this tumor.
There is one potential medical uses for the hormone that has not been explored yet. It is believed that melanoma may have a role in the development of prostate cancer. In mice, the hormone stimulated prostate cell proliferation and increased the number of malignant tumors. However, this evidence is not conclusive. More research is needed to determine whether the melanoma has cancerogenic properties in humans. It is, however, a valuable addition to our knowledge of melanin production and metabolism.
Melanotan is undergoing clinical trials at this time. The drug's potential use for treating low testosterone levels and for managing fertility in women is being explored. If the results of these trials are favorable, it will be marketed as a prescription drug in the United States and around the world. At this point, the safety of melanoma is not clear. Because of this, it is not recommended for the general population, although long-term safety of this compound is unclear.
Are tanning injections bad?
All melanin injections are unsafe when used for the purpose of changing skin color. Melanin injections are unregulated and have the potential to cause life threatening side effects. Illegally purchased injections bought online may be mislabeled or contain impurities that could be seriously harmful to your health.
Melanotan injections are most effective when made into thin, pale, age-appropriate solutions. It's supposed to be a one-time procedure so you will not have to be concerned about future skin tanning. It's not a long-term solution, either, since the melanin levels in your skin slowly build back up as you age. In fact, it takes five to ten years to reach your maximum melanin level after you've had a melanoma treatment.
Since the primary focus of What is Melanotan is the potential medical uses for this skin tanning drug, many articles have been written on this subject. These articles indicate that the benefits of using the drug are not directly related to its use as a sunscreen. However, the potential medical uses are numerous and deserve further investigation.
How can I increase melanin in my hair?
Foods That Increase Melanin 1. Iron-Rich Foods. Iron helps to boost the production of melanin in your hair. 2. Copper-Rich Diet. Lack of copper can reduce the count of melanin in the hair. 3. Catalase. totally free is an antioxidant enzyme that prevents the growth of grey hair and helps restore the natural color of your hair.
Melanotan is used by the general population as a sunscreen. It has an anti-aging effect, delaying the appearance of wrinkles, fine lines and age spots. It works by inhibiting the conversion of melanin in the skin to pigment. The Medline website states, "Some preliminary evidence indicates that [the] use of [the] [drug] may have some protective effect against Parkinson's disease." This is only speculation, however, and more research is needed to support this claim.
As noted above, the main benefit of using what is melanoma is the protection provided by the hormone against ultraviolet light. Another benefit is the effect it has on free radicals, the molecules responsible for aging. It is believed that the hormone blocks the formation of free radicals which otherwise would cause wrinkles, sagging skin and other aging signs. Some studies also indicate that the hormone may be useful in combating various diseases such as cancer and diabetes, as well as protecting the heart and helping to repair wounds.
It helps improve facial complexion and skin pigmentation. Melanotan helps to reduce age spots, freckles, discoloration and sun damage. It is very effective in treating sun-damaged skin, hyperpigmentation, fine lines, acne scars and hyperpigmentation caused by smoking, environmental factors and heredity. It is also used in dermatologic treatment for general purpose, especially to treat mild to moderate wrinkles, burns, eczema, enlarged pores, dark underarms and other skin pigmentation problems.
Getting Correct Application For Melanotan 2.
When you receive a melanoma treatment, it will have a delayed onset of tanning. Melanotan injections are made into the dermal layer of the skin. The hormone that is being delivered to your skin is supposed to stimulate melanin production, so the hormone is active only while the melanocyte is generating it and your body generates it at a much slower rate. So even if you've had a tan before, your skin won't turn brown immediately after receiving the hormone.
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Chronic pain and family
Talking about our problems is at greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys…. famous quote by Rita schiano
I, personally agreed to this to some extent, but in case of chronic illness ( I read this in context to chronic pain patients articles ) I can’t agree to it. I, myself, a chronic pain patient and honestly I simply just cant buy this idea.
Chronic illness,if explained in layman language, any kind of disease which lasts more than 3 months come under chronic illness. And, I’m dealing with different health issues both at physical level and mental level since last 9-10 years,so according to definition i can say I’m an ancient chronic pain patient😬😀😀
Anyways, on serious note, neither definition nor any quotes can help to deal with chronic medical conditions, and its worst if one have medical conditions which are not curable, only manageable and nail in the coffin is ,conditions in which patient “don’t look sick”….
There are various issues one has to deal with his/ her chronic condition. Obviously, we need a team of medical practitioners who are understanding, good listeners, show faith in you, motivaters and work as a team with you to manage things.
Another important part is of family members, without their support, empathy its quite difficult to cope up with chronic pains/ illness. But, except few really lucky ones, most of us struggle with extra burden of non- understanding/supporting family or in some cases family is supporting and try to help but as time passes, it’s become difficult for them to deal with it.
And this is the most difficult part for chronic pain patients, as, after some time/ years, people associated with them start getting irritated or frustrated because of this prolonged illness….. its very natural, I’ve no doubts about it, but in addition to it may be they start doubting patient’s conditions, may be its difficult for them to understand that one can be sick for so long, it’s actually difficult to understand why no therapy, medication,strategy working on patient. So as time passes, they start getting impatient and their this behaviour intentionally or unintentionally makes the patient’s situation more tough.
Now next issue which I think all of us face at one point or another is the advice what to do, what not to, given by our near and dear one. Its�� get more difficult/tricky if he / she is your partner… obviously they won’t want any bad for you afterall they love you, they’re the ones who will be most affected by your condition so its very obvious for them that patient should do what they suggest them and things get bitter when you are blamed if you dont get relief from their advice,which obviously ,they think will definitely work because they think that way but they forget that most of the things they suggest are the things they heard from horses mouth .According to them, you’re not listening to them or the famous line: ” ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD”…..but like really….🤔🤔🤨🤨😏huh….
Now the question is what can be done to improve this situation?? because just keep cripping about this won’t serve any purpose.
I genuinely believe in the fact that it’s not fair to expect understanding everytime from the people around us, afterall they’re human beings too, with their own share of problems, challenges of life.
I feel few things can be done in this case: first is regular counselling of the carers/ immediate family members so they can get rid of the pressure, negativity, exhaustion of living with chronic pain patient.
Another important point is to make them understand that as a patient we need their love, care, acts of showing concern and EMPATHY and not SYMPATHY… personally its very important for me I don’t want sympathy ,like I don’t want that all the time everybody should only revolve around me but yes, I expect most of the times, not always as its bit difficult, my family show that we know you’re struggling and you’re trying to come out of it, keep trying we’re with you….In one line, little appreciation for my efforts
Another thing ,actually the most important is to educate carer / family member about the illness like what it is, what are the symptoms, how it can affect patient not only at physical level but also at mental level , its very important to understand physchological side of chronic disease/ illness… … take an example,most of the times just taking a shower needs energy approx. equal to energy a healthy person needs to say run 3 to 4 kms… it’s sad😔😔but its true for most of Chronic pain patients …..
People can avoid using terms in front of chronic pain patients like you’re being lazy or you have become comfortable in your present health condition, Stop talking all the time about your illness… I agree that it’s important to distract your mind, think positive, re-train your mind and so on but at the same time I understand by just distracting your mind or not talking about illness will not cure you.
So , after struggling with various chronic diseases since last 9-10 years, I come to point that with understanding of your disease, by properly educating family members and with the help of family support and under an environment of loving, caring, understanding and empathetic attitudes of carers, a chronic pain patient if not cured but atleast will be able to manage his medical conditions. Enough for now…..pratyaya
#chronic #pain #help #awareness #family #support #love #empathy
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Doing the right thing can suck
There are things in life that you cannot prepare for no matter how you try: the death of a parent or spouse, losing a job and having to do exactly the opposite of what a family member wants.
That is where I am today.
Monday at 1330 I will be meeting with Family Court staff and an attorney to beginning the process of being declared my sister’s legal guardian and having my sister removed from her home and placed in assisted living.
Why? Here’s a dose of reality.
Susan has reached the point where she cannot take care of herself, full stop. She is hiding things and lying to her doctors and social worker about what she’s doing and her medical condition.
She refuses to let anyone into her bedroom or bathroom to clean.
Her diabetes is out of control. She is not following medical advice from her doctor or her nurses. She has no feeling below her waist. three years ago she was crushed in an auto accident - she blacked out driving 40 mph and hit a tree.
Why did she black out? Uncontrolled diabetes sent her into diabetic shock. She broke her back in ten places, broke ribs. Add diabetes to the mix and it’s not pretty.
Her pain level is at minimum a six, usually an eight. She refuses to take any pain medication, including Tylenol.
She has tremors in her hands courtesy of a small inoperable brain tumor. There might be a medical option to help but she refuses to allow any testing.
She’s Incontinent and has uncontrolled bowel movements.
Her short term memory is sketchy.
She is chronically depressed.
Two year ago I stopped in Raleigh on my way to Virginia to see her after the death of our brother Scott. We had barely talked in 30 some odd years. Not all siblings like each other.
I had no idea how bad off she was. She was barely able to take care of herself. Trash was piled on the floor. i stayed to lend a hand until she could decide what to do. I had no inkling two years later I would still be here taking care of her.
Taking care of a loved one is a thankless, incredibly difficult job.
Yes, it’s a job and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
for the longest time I acted as chef, bottle washer, house keeper, chauffeur and all around servant. Each time she angered or fired the home health nurses I had to learn how to be a diabetic wound nurse and change dressings as often as I was allowed (I may go get my LPN license now that I have some experience).
I managed to get to the gym and on hikes daily but i was always within 20 minutes of the house. Not that this really mattered because Susan doesn’t like phones, never answers them.
I always assume when i enter the living room I will find her dead.
As the months progressed things got worse as she got worse. Trips the ER happened regularly. As soon as she was stabilized she would check herself out. Her doctors and medical help were constantly complaining about her nasty attitude, her condescending attitude with anyone who wasn’t a doctor. Because she has a PhD in Psychology she regarded all non-doctors are little more than the help an that she is a peer with her doctors.
She repeatedly screams at me and anyone who crossed her (code for not agreeing with her).
If you try to tell her something she doesn’t like, she will close her eyes and rock.
They also complained that they had to clean up her messes after each visit.
Twice home health companies fired her because of her lack of personal hygiene and the filthy conditions they had to work under.
The home health companies jointly filed a “concern report” with NC Adult Protective Services. One visit convinced them Susan’s lifestyle could not continue.
All the while I am trying to smooth ruffled feathers and attempting to keep what I can clean.
Please believe me when I tell you my writing is the cleaned up, trying to be compassionate and kind version of what goes on here.
It had to stop. I am in so far over my head.
No matter what your feeling are for a family member or a loved one there does come a time where you have to say enough is enough. i just can’t do this any anymore. I waited too long. I should have done this long ago.
And yes, I have learned a great deal about myself the past two years. I am much more compassionate. i understand the true meaning of service to others. I understand putting someone’s life ahead of your own. I am a so much better person for being here for my sister.
I am told that what family caregivers get wrong is they have to provide the care.
You do not.
I’m sure some out there are wonderfully qualified to become their loved ones nurse and can handle anything that comes up. Bravo to you. You have skills and a mentality I do not possess.
For a time i felt guilty for even considering “abandoning” my sister. That was wrong of me.
There is no guilt or shame in admitting you can’t handle a situation of any kind, especially one like this.
I no longer feel guilty. I don’t feel guilty for doing this behind her back.
I feel good because like it or not, she will get the medical help she desperately needs.
I wish I could do more. I can’t.
I feel good because I will soon get my life back.
You may think my attitude is cold and heartless. My attitude is allowing me to get my sister the best care possible so perhaps she can live out her life in better shape than she is today. That will be up to her. The medical team and I can only do so much. The rest is up to her.
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Gloomy personal stuff
(trigger warnings for pet death, and death in general)
I’ve never done this before, so this feels a bit weird, but writing helps me get order into my thoughts, so here goes. My family’s cat is very sick (we think it’s a stroke), and once my parents can go see the vet tomorrow, it’s quite likely that he’ll have to be euthanized. It’s not exactly out of the blue, he’s 16 years old and he’s been chronically ill for almost two years, which was manageable until now, but when he was diagnosed the vet said that it’ll eventually be too much for his system, and it looks like that time is now. I moved out of my parents’ apartment (where he lives) a couple years ago, and he’s never been an overly social cat to begin with, so for most of the past few years, I haven’t seen him much. I went over to cat-sit a few times when my parents were away, which was always great, and I love him, but he hasn’t been a part of my daily life for a while.
So much for the situation. It all seems very sad, but - and here’s the thing - I don’t feel it. The thought of him not being there anymore when I come over on sundays for breakfast is a bit weird, but that’s it. I was pretty sure I genuinely love my cat, but now that he’s dying, I don’t feel grief, and judging from past experience, I won’t in the future - I’ll just accept it as my new reality and move on. The thing that upsets me most in all of this is that I don’t seem to care, which feels incredibly self-centered. I know (from watching other people, not from my own experience) that grief is not exactly an enjoyable emotion, so I guess I should be glad that I get to skip that part, deal with this rationally and move on. But it makes me wonder about myself.
On the one hand, it makes me wonder whether I actually do/did love the people (including animals) that I thought I loved. Stories of whatever kind always tell you that grief reflects the love you felt for someone, that the pain means it was real and some such. Which sounds like it might actually help people deal with the death of a loved one, but I’m not one of those people. To me, these messages don’t say “see your grief as an expression of your love”, but “you didn’t love them properly”, and that... doesn’t help. I find it hard (and unneccessary) to differentiate between different kinds of love, so what I felt for my cat, and my grandmother before that, feels very similar to what I feel for my family and close friends. I didn’t grieve for my grandmother when she died two years ago, and I’m not grieving now, even though a pet is about as easy to love as it gets and my grandmother helped raise me and we had a very good relationship. So if I go by those messages I get from stories, that means, I didn’t love them enough, or right, or something, and that in turn means that I don’t love anybody right. And that’s not great.
Which brings me to my second point: it makes me wonder why I am like this. I’ve come up with three options so far. Option no. 1: I’m just very good at repressing emotions. Again, no experience in that field (as far as I know), but I feel like there should be some clue that I’m repressing things, some negative energy within me or whatever. I think I know myself pretty well, and I just don’t see any signs that I’m repressing anything, so if that is in fact the case, I should probably get a world record for that. Option no. 2: I’m a sociopath. The problem with that one is that there is a lot of conflicting information on that on the internet, and most of it is negative, so I only have a very basic definition of what that word actually means. I know that I don’t have much empathy, but what I do have is compassion - which, as I understand it, is the cognitive equivalent to empathy as an emotional response. I don’t cry when I watch a report about some disaster, but I recognize that those people are in a situation that they didn’t deserve to get into, and based on that I want to help. So depending on the definition of sociopathy you use, it might fit, but only if it includes the fact that a person can still have a moral compass and try to be a good person, regardless of whether their feelings make them act that way or their minds. Option no. 3: My brain is just wired differently with regards to emotions. This one is probably the correct one, but also pretty vague, so... not very helpful. Certainly not one that you can just google in order to find advice or people with the same experiences, and that’s kinda why I perceive my lack of grief as a problem in the first place: because I feel like I should react differently. Like I’m not normal (in a bad way), or, to put it bluntly, lacking. Which only strengthens the guilt I feel about not grieving, because this is what I’m hung up on, not the death of my beloved cat, or a beloved family member before that. And then I get back to the question of why, and on it goes.
If anyone has made it until here, just to be clear, I don’t need a pep talk, so you don’t have to feel like you should react to this. I talked things through with my roommate, and she’s very good at that, so I’m fine. She also said that no one ever talks about this kind of thing although there must be people who feel the same way, so I guess that’s what I’m doing - putting it out there, and getting my thoughts in order in the process.
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Do you have any advice for people starting to learn to live with a chronic illness? I was diagnosed with POTS a bit before the holidays and I feel like I’m in the middle of the ocean with nothing but a pool noodle to keep me afloat. I keep getting told to take it easy and rest, but resting makes me feel like I’m just being lazy and I should be able to do more.
Commiserations and congratulations on getting your diagnosis, I’m sure you had a bumpy ride getting there, and hopefully you found some relief in finally having your symptoms validated. (I know I did.)
I can only speak for myself, but your diagnosis is new, which means your symptom management is only really just about to begin, which will hopefully set you on the path towards feeling better. Give yourself time to adjust to this new part of your life, and try to let go of the idea that self care isn’t worthwhile simply because it isn’t productive. Because it is productive, it’s keeping you alive and well and that’s the most productive thing you can do!
For me, finding something that helps me to feel empowered has been really helpful. You’ll notice I didn’t say “in control of my life”, cause I am afraid that is gone, and tbh, no one really has complete control over their lives to begin with. You can live an active, healthy and moral lifestyle and still wind up with a chronic condition. You can control your actions certainly, but not your life itself. (Yay! Existential crisis for everyone!) Coming to terms with this idea, has really helped me to roll more with the punches, of which there are a lot. Which isn’t to say I don’t have meltdowns and shake my fist at the universe every now and then. I absolutely have days when I just want to sit down and cry, and that’s okay too.
Therapy helps. And if you’re not already seeing a therapist, it can be a good idea to find one who specializes in chronic illnesses and disability. Living with a chronic condition is stressful and isolating, even if you are surrounded by helpful and understanding people. It helps to have someone impartial to talk to sometimes.
So what do I mean by empowerment? Well, frankly it can be anything, from creating things, finding a way to be more independent with your life (i.e. getting groceries delivered to your house rather than relying on a family member, switching to a powered bed that will help you to raise up and down without making your POTS worse), to finding support groups to talk with other people who share your experiences, therapy, or something as small as making a date with yourself once or twice a week/month/whatever, to do something nice for yourself that isn’t dedicated to managing your illness and allows you to feel “normal” for just a bit.
For me, part of that is getting my hair done once a month cause I no longer have the physical or mental energy to deal with hair that is still regrowing from falling out. I also can’t lift the hair dryer for any length of time anymore either, so I treat myself to something that helps me feel good and get to sit in a salon talking regular gossip that isn’t focused on the every evolving catastrophe that is my health. It’s a very humanizing experience for me, and it always leaves me feeling somewhat better. (Thank you Amanda! You’re a gift.)
It’s important, to give yourself little mental respites from this all consuming thing that feels like it might just swallow you whole if you let it, and while some people find advocacy and talking about it empowering (which I do), it’s vital to find things that give you a sense of normalcy and joy too. You can’t just keep treading water waiting for the next tidal wave to hit. You’ll only wear yourself out and go under quicker that way.
Which brings me to a very important pointer: allowing yourself to rest when you have a chronic condition is not laziness, it is a vital form of self care. I know we’ve all been conditioned to believe that our true worth lies in how productive we are, but it’s simply not true. There are other valid ways to exist in the world, and they are not tied to standards set in place by able bodied people. Also not resting will make you sicker, which will further reduce your ability to do things. Rest is valid. Rest is Good.
We reckon I could have saved myself from developing several problems if I’d only listened to my body and laid down when my body wanted me to back in the beginning. Now I’m permanently in pain from something that could possibly have been avoided if I hadn’t tried to show my illness who was boss and compete with people whose muscles weren’t tearing apart every time they moved.
Don’t do that to yourself. Pushing through the pain and fatigue has no rewards in this scenario. You don’t have to be a hero and power through, you just need to make it through. Some of us can climb mountains, some of us climb metaphorical ones every day simply by getting out of bed. Perspective is relevant.
Take care of yourself, and I hope you find things that help you to deal better with your POTS soon. You deserve to feel better, and I hope you will soon.
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2019 – the year I hope could be the start of my renaissance.
Some people know I have chronic insomnia. I often talk about it with my family, friends and those others whom I think should know about it. But nobody really knows how difficult it is to be battling such illness. The suffering is unspeakable; much worse than I can ever describe it. Allah knows.
It started the night before my birthday in 2008. I couldn’t sleep not because the following day was my birthday but because it was my first day in College. I thought it was just that normal night when you don’t get to sleep “because tomorrow is a special and you are so excited about it.” So I went through my first day in college tired but I still had fun nevertheless.
I did not able to sleep again the following night. This time I was alarmed. What could be wrong why I couldn’t sleep? I went to school again the following day but this time I can hardly managed the exhaustion.
I was not able to sleep again on the third night. I started to feel my heart pounding so hard to the point that it made it more difficult even to just calm myself down. I tried not to lose myself. I’m going to a see a doctor tomorrow, I said to myself. But I didn’t. I am so worn out after that day. Maybe I can finally sleep tonight. But still I had no luck. I started to feel incapable of sleeping. I was getting crazy. “God, I have not slept a single minute for four consecutive nights. I would trade everything to get my eyes shut for even just a few minutes,” I complained to God.
The morning came and I never felt so awful in my life. Later that day, Dad accompanied me to a doctor. I explained how I feel and how I struggled to get sleep. What the doctor did was just gave me a prescription. It was a sleeping pill. To be honest, I was cynical if it could help me get sleep. I believed deep down I needed more than just a pill. I took the pill and tried to sleep. It didn’t work! That time I knew I was screwed.
The torture continued for many, many days. My life was never the same again. As about my studies, I still continued to attend classes despite my deteriorating condition. I just took every class-break I got for rest. And what I mean by rest is that I just lay down and close my eyes and tried to get as much energy as I could get without sleeping to keep me going.
I was able to endure over a month of sleep deprivation. And then there came one night, I was talking to myself, “This is my fate. This is what Allah has ordained for me. I have to be strong and accept it.” I recalled stories of sacrifices of Prophets to keep my spirit alive. While expecting a long night, just like the other previous nights, I closed my eyes. The next time I opened them, I saw the morning light through the small window of my room! I finally get the much needed sleep! I’ve never been so grateful in my life! All praise is due to Allah!
Sleep came back to me but the fear of not being able to sleep didn’t leave me. Every time night falls, the chance of getting a good night sleep is like tossing a coin. And so it did not really last long before insomnia came back again. I was just like given a few nights to breathe and then get back to wrestling again. It has continued to be the case since night of June 13th of 2008.
And just when I thought insomnia could be my only health problem, there came anxiety. It was like that monster who wanted to hurt my almost lifeless body, mercilessly. I did not know what kind of anxiety disorder it really was. I didn’t consult a specialist. I didn’t want to. I just knew I have it. I couldn’t maintain an eye contact when talking to people. Imagine how devastatingly awkward was that and its negative impact on my social life. I lost a lot of friends. My ordeal served like a filter machine that made me identify who my real true friends are.
Sometimes I sweat excessively even in cold weather. I could remember one time in class my seatmate touched my arms and she felt I was soaking in sweat in a fully air-conditioned room. Goodness!
Many years of my life since anxiety touched me were nightmares. It took a great toll in every aspect of my life – relationships, jobs, studies, etc.! Anxiety also made me become critical of myself – my actions and decisions – which I was not used to be before. And when a person sounded so harsh in criticizing himself in front of his friends or family, imagine how brutal he is to himself in the privacy of his head. Although there were many days I had thoughts of harming myself, I never attempted to. But my devastating health condition made me begged God many times to either cure me or just take me.
My family started to notice although I never told them about it. Sadly, the core of stigma covers our home. I tried to learn more about anxiety and discovered that one in every four persons has anxiety. I also sought inspiration from people who advocate mental illness. Indeed, it is true that when you see others fighting the same battle and more if they fight to voice out what the society has always neglected to address, you feel a little better.
Fast forward to year 2019. Its been already 11 years of seemingly endless struggle. Then, in the dark came a friend who has her own story of struggle with anxiety. She became my classmate in law school in my third year. She said she was experiencing panic attacks. Honestly I felt glad there was someone in law school who can somehow relate with the situation I am in. From then, we talked frequently about mental illness until one day I opened up to her about planning to see a specialist. I never thought about seeing a Psychiatrist before. It was not in my options. My parents would not approve either. They’ll kill me for worrying so much about what people would say if they find out I am seeing a Psychiatrist. But I was already in my senior year in law school. I had to seek professional help to survive law school.
Then one day, that friend of mine discovered a Psychiatric clinic located near the school. I expressed my desire to make an appointment with the doctor and she enthusiastically offered to do it for me because she said she personally knew the doctor’s secretary. I accepted. I didn’t ask but I speculated she was also planning to get checked but it turned out later that she engaged the services of another Psychiatrist. Maybe she just wanted to know if the Psychiatrist she referred to me is preferable to her. Kinda weird but I didn’t really mind given the fact that people like us who have anxieties really do things weird.
But before I got to have a meeting with the Psychiatrist, I had to go through my parents first and convince them to let me get professional help. My father was strongly against it. He said people would mock our family because one of its members is mentally ill. Nonetheless, I insistently convinced them to be more open to talking about mental illness and overcome the stigma until they finally permitted me to consult a Psychiatrist. What happened with my meeting with the Psychiatrist was different than what I expected though. I thought that before the doctor issues the prescription, I get to share first the entire story of my struggle - how it started, how it has been affecting my life, how I have been trying to cope up, etc., – sort of a counseling. He did ask me how I felt but the questioning I thought was too fixed and limited. It seemed he did not want a long conversation. I could somehow understand because he still had a long line of clients to treat after me. He diagnosed me with General Anxiety Disorder coupled with panic attacks. Then he gave me four medical prescriptions. I have to take four medicines a day! That was the first time I have to take that many medicines a day and probably the most ever in my life.
The following night after my meeting with the doctor, I took the bedtime pill. I was glad with the result. I had like 3 to 4 hours of sleep. That was much better than not getting sleep at all. I didn’t feel perfectly rested but that was a great improvement!
I continued to follow the doctor’s advices religiously and I have been feeling better and better as time goes by. Although I have not really been satisfied with the consultation processes with my Psychiatrist because I think he has not been therapeutic in terms of our doctor-patient relationship, his professional advices have actually been effective so far. One problem I have with one of the prescriptions though, particularly the bedtime pill, is that it has made me extremely dependent on it. I fear that my drug dependency will become permanent but my doctor said he’ll eventually slowly reduce the prescription if I get in the right health condition.
Moving on with my health condition, I am now very happy, Alhamdulillah! I am slowly getting back my self-esteem and confidence. I can now look straight in the eyes making me enjoy communicating to people. The heavy-head feeling is gone. I still struggle falling asleep but at least I still able to get good enough sleep which provide me just the right amount of energy to accomplish my daily tasks. I think it is safe to say that the best decision I’ve made with regards to my health was getting professional help. It cannot be more true to me that sometimes what we are ashamed of to do (address mental illness) is what will actually make us better. By the way, I have been watching motivational videos which I’ve found greatly beneficial.
In Shaa Allah, I will continue to get better and get back the life I have been yearning for years. I have suffered so much damage and destruction in many parts of my life over the past decade. God-willing, I will have the time and health to fix them.
There are many lessons I’ve learned from my years of battle with insomnia and anxiety. I would have never learned the importance of addressing mental illness as a societal issue if I never went through it. The most important though is to keep up the faith in God and to never give up. When you feel pain; when you are tired; when you feel like giving up; when you feel like quitting; when you look around you and nowhere do you see anything remotely looks like success; when it’s all dark; just keep up the faith and believe that God has put you in that darkness for a reason and that after that darkness, you will come out stronger than ever befor
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Here’s the Link between Osteoarthritis and Exercise
You may be able to control and even prevent this debilitating disorder by going it on your own—that is, without pharmaceutical or surgical intervention. How? Good ol’ physical activity. Let’s explore the well-established link between osteoarthritis and exercise.
Is It OA? What You Need to Know about This Joint Disorder
Osteoarthritis (OA) is the most prevalent form of arthritis and the most common joint disorder in the United States, affecting some 30.8 million American adults—that’s nearly one in every 10 of us. This number is only expected to increase as the population ages and more and more people live their lives overweight or obese. (1, 2, 3) If you’re carrying extra pounds, you put added stress on your joints, which increases your likelihood of developing the disease. Obesity may also lead to metabolic changes that bring about the disorder. In addition to age and weight, other risk factors for OA, some of which are modifiable and some not, include: (4, 5)
Joint injury and repetitive use: Any joint damage, whether from serious injury or being overworked, increases risk; if you’re an athlete or work a physically demanding job, you may be more susceptible to OA.
Gender: Women over the age of 45 are more likely to develop OA than their male peers.
Genetics: If you have a family member with OA, you’re more likely to develop it as well.
Race: Studies show that the risk of developing osteoarthritis by age 85 is higher in Caucasians than in African Americans (41 percent compared to 29 percent).
Muscle weakness and low bone density: These factors are thought to contribute to the development and progression of OA.
If you’re concerned about developing osteoarthritis or you’re already experiencing joint pain, exercise may help. Check out this article to find out which workouts can help with OA. #healthylifestyle #wellness #chriskresser
Normally, cartilage cushions the ends of bones in your joints, allowing your joints to glide smoothly during motion. With OA, the cartilage breaks down and the smooth gliding surface becomes rough. As OA worsens over time, the underlying bone begins to change. Although these changes usually develop slowly, the cartilage can wear away completely, leaving bone to rub directly on bone. The results?
Pain
Swelling
Stiffness
Cracking or grinding sounds when moving
A loss of range of motion (flexibility) and function; OA is a leading cause of disability
The chronic condition can affect any joint, but it occurs most often in knees, hips, hands, big toes, and the spine, including the lower back and neck. Although there is no cure, the above symptoms can be managed.
The Connection between Osteoarthritis and Exercise: Managing Risk and Preventing Pain
Exercise, we now know, is a vital part of any OA prevention or treatment plan. In fact, exercise is typically recommended, even in conventional medical circles, as a first-line defense and management strategy before over-the-counter medicine or prescription drugs. Studies have shown comparable OA pain-relieving effects between physical activity and oral analgesics. (6, 7, 8)
Unfortunately, despite recommendations by physicians, clinicians, and health coaches to get moving, people with OA just aren’t exercising. It could be a holdover from previous generations, when doctors told their patients to rest and avoid movement that caused pain. Unfortunately, some elderly people with OA likely get worse as times goes by because they follow this outdated advice. Or perhaps some individuals are fearful that any discomfort means they’re causing joint damage. Whatever the reason, a national survey found that roughly 40 percent of those diagnosed with arthritis are inactive, meaning they don’t engage in any sustained periods of physical activity (10 minutes or longer) within an average week. (9, 10) I hope this article will help change that.
The research clearly shows that exercise is a must, whether you want to prevent OA or already have a diagnosis. Here’s why.
Exercise Keeps Your Joints Healthy and Pain Free
The adage “use it or lose it” applies here—regular moderate exercise keeps the body moving as it is designed to move, preventing joints from weakening and that all-important cartilage from breaking down. Animal studies even suggest that exercise can prevent further cartilage degradation in older or injured joints that have already suffered some loss. (11) Research in rats has also shown that exercise effectively relieves OA joint pain, including pain resistant to nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. (12)
It Helps You Lose Weight
You already know that obesity is a significant risk factor for OA. One meta-analysis of 47 previously published studies found a threefold increased risk for knee OA in overweight or obese individuals. (13) But here’s the good news: It’s also one of the most modifiable risk factors when it comes both to the development of OA and its progression. It’s been suggested that at least half of all cases of symptomatic knee OA could be prevented if the obesity epidemic were better controlled. The Framingham Study found that women who lost 11 pounds or more over 10 years reduced their risk of knee OA by 54 percent. (14, 15)
As previously shared, excess weight puts added stress on joints, particularly weight-bearing joints like the hips and knees, increasing the odds that cartilage will break down, the joint will fail, and OA will develop. Losing those extra pounds relieves that pressure. But that isn’t the only reason obesity and OA go hand in hand. Overweight individuals typically have inadequate muscle mass to properly support their weight, which can advance the onset of OA. They may also be less active, which only leads to further weight gain and muscular deficits and a further risk for the disease. (16) Evidence also suggests that added stress on joints leads to the release of arthritis-promoting pro-inflammatory cytokines, while weight loss reduces cytokine levels. (17, 18) And it appears that obesity brings on metabolic abnormalities, including excessively high levels of insulin, that are associated with OA. Not surprisingly, exercise may prevent or mitigate these changes. (19, 20, 21)
It Gets You out of Your Chair and off the Couch
A sedentary lifestyle can also cause metabolic shifts that may lead to OA, alterations that can be prevented through physical activity. (22, 23) After all, sitting six hours or more a day is far outside of the evolutionary norm for humans. Beyond the connection to metabolism, prolonged sitting is generally associated with an increased risk for OA and increased risk for pain and other complications from the disease. This may be because sedentary behavior degrades muscle strength and posture, impacting joints, especially in the spine. Sedentary individuals who spend significant time on smartphones and tablets further increase their risk of OA in hand joints. What’s more, lack of activity decreases pain tolerance and stiffens joints (24, 25). Conversely, physical activity appears to lubricate joints and strengthen cartilage. (26, 27)
Exercise Strengthens Your Muscles and Builds Bone
In one study, women who developed knee OA had quadriceps muscles that were 18 percent weaker than those without OA; the weakness predated the onset of the disease and was likely a contributor to its development. Weak quadriceps muscles cause the knee to become less stable, of special concern for athletes and others at increased risk for OA from joint injury or overuse. (28, 29) Treadmill exercise, in particular, has been found to block bone loss, which might help stabilize joints. (30) Of course, strength training is also a very effective way to build muscle as well as bone.
The Best Proven Exercises for Osteoarthritis
For overall health benefits, including OA prevention and treatment, experts recommend adults engage in around 150 minutes of at least moderate physical activity weekly.
Moderate activity three times or more per week has been shown to reduce the risk of arthritis-associated disability in study groups by an average of 47 percent. (31, 32, 33) That said, any activity is better than none, and every minute of movement is beneficial. Since joint injuries can cause or worsen OA, if you’re looking to prevent the condition or manage symptoms, choose moderate low-impact activities, such as:
Walking
Cycling
Swimming
These guidelines line up with the recommendations set by my colleague Dan Pardi, which I support, to occasionally push yourself as our ancestors did with bouts of relatively intense activity. (34, 35) In addition to the aerobic exercises mentioned above, we also encourage low-impact muscle-strengthening activities like lifting weights and yoga. Yoga also promotes flexibility to help maintain joint range of motion. Hatha yoga, or the practice of physical postures called asanas, has been found to provide marked improvements in pain and function in subjects with knee OA. (36)
Exercises that strengthen the quadriceps muscles in particular may be especially useful in the prevention and treatment of OA. As one study above highlighted, quadriceps have been shown to be weak in subjects who develop OA, suggesting it’s a risk factor. Research indicates that quadriceps-strengthening exercises can improve strength and function and reduce pain in those with knee OA. These include isometric exercises (in which a particular muscle is contracted without moving the affected joint) and isotonic resistance exercises (where both muscle and joint move, such as in weightlifting) when tolerated. (37, 38, 39)
Tai chi may also be beneficial: Its weight-bearing postures help improve strength while simultaneously promoting flexibility and balance. Studies show it may help relieve OA pain. (40, 41)
Can Exercise Actually Increase the Risk of OA?
It’s true that certain athletic injuries and extreme and excessive physical activity could set the stage for OA, but there isn’t any convincing evidence linking moderate or even vigorous low-impact exercise with an increased risk of OA or an accelerated progression of the disease. (42, 43, 44, 45, 46)
However, as you now know, there is a wealth of research showing that exercise has profound benefits for joint health. I hope you’ll get moving to stave off OA or help manage its symptoms, as well as improve your overall well-being.
Bonus: Another Great Way to Protect Your Joints
In addition to exercise, incorporate gelatin into your diet for extra joint (and bone) protection. Research shows it may be effective in treating osteoporosis and osteoarthritis, as it helps combat pain and inflammation and build stronger bones.
Do you plan on working more exercise into your daily life as a way to prevent OA? Or are you already experiencing symptoms of the condition? Leave a comment below and tell your story.
The post Here’s the Link between Osteoarthritis and Exercise appeared first on Chris Kresser.
Source: http://chriskresser.com March 07, 2019 at 06:29PM
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Blog #10:Relationships with Pain
Let’s talk about relationships real quick. Chronic illness can be isolating. It is so easy to feel alone in your battles, and in many ways we do have to make a lot of efforts and growth on our own. There are many ways in which chronic illness can make relationships so much harder than they would be without it factored in, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it to build relationships and trust others. We don’t have to feel alone in our battles, and we do have several places that we can reach out to for support. No one can make the illness go away, and it is our job to make sure we find healthy ways to cope with our problems-- be it mental or physical health related. I started my journey with chronic pain feeling extremely alone. The doctors couldn’t tell me what was wrong, every sign pointed to “you’re healthy, there are no issues,” and it really felt like people were telling me it was all in my head. I wanted to talk about it, but I struggled to articulate why it was hard to get up and do the things I needed to do, why I was late all of the time, and why I didn’t know how to adjust to it yet. The labels lazy and irresponsible were starting to cling to me even though I still had an extremely strong work ethic. I just also had a severe amount of fatigue pulling me back. I was carrying around a heavy weight that continued to grow, and I did not know what to do with it, and it was taking an emotional toll. I also fed into the myth that sharing my issues and frustrations with pain would be a burden for others, so it was better left alone, which is entirely false. There are ways to communicate your frustrations that are healthy for both parties. And truthfully, part of being a good friend means being there for them. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help or asking if someone has the time to listen, especially if you’re willing to reciprocate that and show them the same kind of support whenever they need it. Knowing your resources and knowing your support systems are so important in being able to continue to stay healthy and continue throughout your day-to-day lifestyle. I have several support systems now, but they wren’t always around in the beginning or in the ways that I needed. And I didn’t always know how to communicate how I was feeling either, which gave me more trouble with getting help or even just helping those close to me understand what exactly it was that had been going on. (It definitely didn’t help that my doctors couldn’t easily explain it to me either, so you can see why this in general was just a big mess for a while on my end.) And “support system” doesn’t have to exclusively mean people who understand or who can offer helpful advice or solid solutions. It definitely factors in sometimes, but a good support system can be found in someone who is just there to hang out, keep you company, and remind you to have fun. So here’s a general list of people who have helped and supported me in ways I didn’t fully expect going into this. Family:
Family can be an incredibly helpful resource if you’re lucky enough to have that. And honestly, for the past 3 years, family is one of the support systems that has simultaneously been the most gratifying but also one of the ones that I struggled the most with, all the way out to my extended family. I’ve had family members tell me I’m faking it or exaggerating, that I’m not trying hard enough, that my fatigue and sheer exhaustion was just laziness, telling me that everyone experiences some aches and pains sometimes and to suck it up, and it was honestly just wearing me down. I had to learn to let go of those opinions. That if this is how anyone felt about me, even if they were family, they were wrong, and it was their problem if they didn’t want to accept my limits and let me accommodate for my own health. I knew my work ethic, i knew I wasn’t lazy, and I knew no one else had the same problems that I did at my age. I cared the most about my immediate family though. Truthfully, my dad didn’t want there to be anything wrong with me, and I looked healthy, so he struggled to accept that I am in debilitating pain often, and that I need to accept my limits, be honest about them, and pace myself, instead of just blindly pushing through these barriers like how he’s apt to do. But he’s also been there to make sure I have access to doctors appointments and the general healthcare that’s been helpful in trying to find solutions to this issue, and over time he’s gotten better about listening and accepting some of the harder stuff that comes with it. (Partially thanks to my mom.) My mom has been the BIGGEST support. She’s didn’t fully understand the problem at first either, for similar reasons to my dad: I’m young and I appear healthy, and I’m her baby, so she didn’t want anything to be wrong. But she was able to begin to accept it so much quicker because she experiences a lot of the same things that I do, but for different reasons. She’s been my advocate for so long and has helped me research issues, look for doctors, and find solutions. She’s honestly just been a great and understanding companion as well. Her issues stem from osteoarthritis, but we carry pain in similar areas. Mine are just more nerve related, and honestly, it’s nice to have someone who on any scale just kind of gets it. We’re able to in a sense compare notes, talk about what helps, what doesn’t help for both of us, and take turns helping each other out on bad pain days.
Friends:
There’s that old saying: you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. And I have made many friends in my adult life who have been great, positive influences in not only how I deal with chronic illness, but also in how I treat myself. I have definitely made some draining and un-supportive “friends” along the way and have had to learn how to distance myself from them, but over time, even those friendships became learning experiences. I knew what not to look for in friends and the people who I surround myself with daily. But my best friends are the people I learn from and grow with daily and are honestly who I am most thankful for. My best friends from high school were the first to accept my health issues without pushing back. They were the first to really listen, and even if they didn’t understand, just hearing ��I’m sorry dude. But these are your strengths and you’ve got this,” was so helpful. I think a majority of my friends either struggle with mental health or some form of chronic illness. Two of my more recent close friends struggle with chronic pain, one with migraines who is just as affected by weather as I am, and one who is in a similar boat with weird fluctuating symptoms, and more than a year’s worth of doctors appointments that lead to “normal” test results. And again, it is so nice to have people around and compare notes with what helps and what doesn’t help. And, I suppose sometimes misery loves company, but truthfully I think we all have used our problems as an outlet to learn the kind of patience and understanding it takes to help us all be aware of each others strengths and limitations and where we need to encourage one another or meet in the middle.
The same is true for my boyfriend. He’s been one of my best friends for the past seven years and he’s been a major help and support for me to learn how to accommodate for and manage my pain. He’s been there through all the frustration, tears, and just sheer agitation, and has met it with a tremendous amount of acceptance, patience, and understanding. Like genuinely, I am so lucky to have anyone who would even remotely be willing to offer that. I honestly never advocate for people who are struggling to seek out a significant other, because there’s a HUGE misconception that having a S/O will solve your problems. It doesn’t. But having someone in your life who knows you well, knows your strengths, and knows what you’ve been through is extremely comforting. At least in this situation, I’m including Matt as one of my supportive best friends, because, especially in regards to my health, I care way more about the friend aspect of our relationship.
Pets:
Okay I know this sound silly, but having a pet has been one of the most helpful things in regards to dealing with my pain. I learn from my rabbit every day. She makes me step outside of myself. Taking care of her and having her company is just so therapeutic. It can be inconvenient at times. Like, cleaning out her litter box can be an sever struggle when I’m flaring up pretty bad, same with refilling her hay box and doing any kind of bigger work, but it’s not anything that’s not worth sacrificing for her, and I can usually manage. She doesn’t offer any advice for my health issues, and she can’t technically listen to or understand my problems, but sometimes we don’t need complex solutions or understanding to feel better. Sometimes we just need company.
Online Communities:
If you don’t have anyone else, online communities can be a HUGE help in connecting with others. Especially others like yourself. One of the biggest helpful tools I’ve stumbled across is a Facebook Group. It’s is a smaller group of people all over the globe who each deal with various chronic illnesses who also love fashion and self-expression. It’s an open forum to ask questions, to make self expression posts, to vent, to encourage each other, and to get help with some of the harder issues, because chances are, someone in the group has had a similar struggle. I recently had to ask about barometric pressure changes and if the affect anyone else, and how to deal with the weather as it comes, because it’s something I personally still struggle with, and some of the solutions and affirmations that came from asking truly helped.
(Name and profile pic is blocked out for the privacy of the user.) Yourself:
You are your biggest support system. If all else fails, and trust me, I’ve been there, you have to learn how to rely on yourself. If all we do is tear ourselves down, we have no way of helping ourselves back up. We need to make sure that daily we are making a point to build ourself up long-term so that we have a good foundation for our more difficult days. We need to make sure that we are putting in the work, time, and effort to take care of ourselves, understand ourselves, accept our problems and quirks, work on them as best as we can, and help ourselves every day. That way, when there are hard days, even when no one else is available, you have something within yourself to pull from to pick yourself back up. We can either be our own worst enemy or our best friend. That’s something that, regardless of any of these other relationships and resources, we are in control of and we can always improve on. Overall: Seek out relationships that are healthy. Engage within them as healthily as you can! But most importantly, seek out a good relationship with yourself. Support systems often feel like everything, so it’s important that we invest in them whenever we can! Seeking out support systems is one of the many ways we can encourage ourselves to stay resilient!
#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#fibroymalgia#support systems#my support system#stay resilient#the art of being resilient#lifestyle blog
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DRELLINGTON
Full Name: Drell Hartford, Cleric of theMatrivalan Beltane
Gender andSexuality: Male,Straight
Pronouns: He/Him
Ethnicity/Species: Drell is a Matrivalan, which isn’tquite human and isn’t quite elven but is sort of similar to both of thosethings. Note his weird ears and magenta eyes with big sideways-oval pupils. Hisblood is also violet-magenta.
Birthplaceand Birthdate:Drell was born under a Scythan Moon in the month of Samhain, year 77 in the Ageof Orbits. He was born in a Beltanic Monastery in the south of the Matrivalancontinent, and was given up to the Order of the Matrivalan Beltane as is customfor firstborn children of certain families.
GuiltyPleasures: Drellhas a bit of a sweet tooth, which he indulges very often despite being on a ‘diet’of sorts. He loves to line-edit schlocky romance novels in his spare time, ahabit he picked up while aboard the Incandesca (Usually books provided to himby Fee, who would then secretly read the edited versions). He’s alsouncompromisingly fond of 60’s-70’s era rock of all sorts, like America, SteelyDan, 10cc, ELO, and ESPECIALLY Queen, which – probably the guiltiest pleasure –he enjoys singing very loudly.
Phobias: Drell actually has a pretty solid head on his shoulders;there isn’t a ton that he’s afraid of. He seems like the kind of guy who wouldbe kind of a pushover, but he can be very firm and doesn’t balk at a lot. Plus,Drell was barely 18 when he began to undergo the rites required to bind theWitherwound to him, and was only just in his early 20s when he left to go onthe Hunt, so he had to come to terms with the likelihood of his own death at anincredibly early age. Drell is, however, terrified that some day theWitherwound’s inability to filter the magical energy she absorbs at all timeswould lead to her overloading before Drell could allow her to work enoughenergy off; the resulting explosion would be theoretically powerful enough toeffectively destroy whatever poor planar system he happens to be inhabiting atthe time. Not to mention it would atomize him. He was terrified of theWitherwound when it was first bound to him, too; he has since overcome thisfear, but he is still flinchy around large dogs or any other big predatorycreature.
What TheyWould Be Famous For:As with every member of The Hunt, Drell is technically famous in a way.Unfortunately, Drell isn’t the ‘attraction’, so to speak; he isn’t even billedin the roster as Drell Hartford, his name is completely left out of it and heis only known as ‘The Witherwound’. 99% of the people familiar with the Huntfor whatever reason don’t even know his name. Plus, Drell was not exactly theshining beacon of positivity and faith that he is now; his binding to theWitherwound caused him an extreme amount of chronic pain, 24/7, as his bodybecomes the transient medium for the Witherwound to absorb ambient magicalenergy. It was only when the Witherwound was ‘fixed’ by the home team thatDrell was able to think clearly enough to regain some of his ‘true’ personality.In the meantime, Drell has been a sickly, fatigued man barely able to take careof himself for the past couple hundred years of the Wild Hunt. The Witherwoundis famous for her high-speed, hardcore, merciless kills. Drell is famous forthat Threnghelleon YouTube Compilation Of Times He Vomited.
Otherwise,Drell would be famous for being an influential and acclaimed Cleric for theMatrivalan Beltane; Drell is the model that other Clerics would aspire tofollow, honestly, and is probably one of the best people – in a ‘quality ofperson’ kind of way – in the whole campaign. He is currently trying to rebuildthe Matrivalan Beltane around the Witherwound instead of the goddess she usedto be, and so he may actually be famous one day for founding a new religion onThe Road.
What TheyWould Get Arrested For: I literally cannot think of a single thing that Drell would getarrested for. He’s an ordained Cleric, for god’s sake. I think the only reasonDrell might get arrested is by association with someone else who did somethingwrong, or maybe in a shitty dystopian world where people can be considered ‘illegal’and that classification then permits a wide variety of atrocities to becommitted against them (looks at camera flatly), for harboring fugitives orinterfering in a law enforcement investigation to find said fugitives.
OC You ShipThem With: FEEFITZSIMMONS!!! They have really good chemistry and she’s one of the like twentypeople (out of a couple hundred thousand) on the Glorious Incandessa who knewhis name and liked him. She’s a really stalwart person and one of the fewpeople Drell doesn’t have to worry about wrangling at any given moment, andsomeone Drell doesn’t technically outrank. He is constantly taking care ofother people, and he really doesn’t need to take care of her. Aside from Fee,as Sal said I guess I could see people digging Iona and Drell, but Drell is oneof the people who helped her put her brain back together after the trauma sheexperienced at Apocrypha’s hand, and now that she’s joined the MatrivalanBeltane he is her direct superior so there are some yucky vibes IMO. Butreally, anybody who can tell Drell to chill out for a few minutes when he’soverworking himself and refusing to acknowledge it and actually get him to doit would probably have at least a little chemistry with him.
OC MostLikely To Murder Them: At this point, probably The Helmsman or Ethem-Cailo or Glory. Theproblem with trying to kill Drell is, good fuckin’ luck chump! There’s a dragonon his back and she can move faster than the eye can see and her claws andteeth are made of pure arcane energy! And, the thing is, Drell is her fuckingfavorite, so she will and has turned people into meat ribbons of her ownaccord if she feels like Drell is threatened. So, the only people who could laya finger on him at this point are the high-level Gods on the Hunt who could andwould do something nasty to him or that are just powerful enough to laugh theWitherwound off.
FavoriteMovie/Book Genre:Anything suitably dramatic, honestly. He won’t turn his nose up at a good documentary,of course, and he prefers books to TV and movies anyway, but he loves reallywell-crafted drama, fantasy, and thriller material. He also has a deep, abidingrespect for encyclopedias, guides, journals, and other similar record-stylebooks. The Matrivalan Beltane revolves predominately around the act of makingbooks, so Drell is actually a talented bookbinder and makes his journalshimself, and so he has a really keen eye and appreciation for those kind ofdetails.
Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Any cliche or trope that has todo with the cleric, holy man, priest, or otherwise religious leader is adirtbag and uses his power for his own gain. Not necessarily because itirritates him, but rather because he recognizes that there is too much precedentand truth in the real world behind these cliches.
Talentsand/or Powers: AsI mentioned, Drell is a very skilled bookbinder who has made at this pointhundreds of tomes. His Order requires its Clerics to craft their own HolySymbol, which for the Matrivalan Beltane are Grimoires hand-crafted andinscribed. Members of the Beltane are expected to read any of various tomesthat suit their interests and pick one to transcribe into a personalized tome,and are encouraged very strongly to include their own research, notes, andunique flourishes to the material to build on what has come before them. Drell’sGrimoire, the Treatise of Simon the Magician, is perfectly crafted and isenchanted at Drell’s own hand with a series of spells that allow the book tomagically self-inscribe with a broad variety of arcane and occult knowledgefrom whatever society he happens to be in. So, basically, nerd that he is,Drell made himself a book that he can read over and over again that will neverget boring.
His Grimoiredoes contain, at all times, a series of Clerical Orison-prayers designed tolead the Witherwound through her different divine natures – when he needs tocalm her, excite her, heal her, or subdue her, he can read the appropriatepassage from his Grimoire. In addition, so long as he is on the same plane asthe Witherwound (which, you know, she’s attached to him literally so he alwaysis), he has access to a set of spell Orisons that he can use to attack anddefend. Drell would predominately be a utility/support fighter, were it not forone thing: The Witherwound.
As I mentionedbefore, the Witherwound is basically a super-fast super-pissed dragon made ofpure arcane power, capable of literally shredding anyone who comeswithin range and constantly dragging in magical power from the world aroundher. The Witherwound usually whips herself into a frenetic frenzy, racing backand forth at lightning speed in random angles that turns a the area aroundDrell into an inescapable death trap, referred to as the titular Beltane. TheWitherwound can widen this radius, and increase the intensity of her speed andpower, creating an ever-widening field of Pure Fuck that grows more deadly withthe passing seconds. In game mechanics this equates to a passive AOE abilitythat deals damage in stacking d20s until you manage to escape the ever-wideningradius of the attack. It ramps up very fast and is fucking brutal. TheWitherwound’s other natures mostly augment Drell’s magical abilities, but shehas a couple other beefy powers she can trot out if need be.
Why SomeoneMight Love Them:Drell is an earnest, good-hearted and indefatigably positive guy who is AMAZINGat giving advice, AMAZING at navigating interpersonal relationships, and is anAMAZING listener. He’s not good, he’s not great, he is The Best Listener. He isvery introspective and self-aware, and has always been very mature for his age.He’s patient, empathetic, easy to talk to, and is devoutly faithful to his god.He is willing and eager to share his faith but is critically un-pushy, and bythe nature of his religion is highly interested in and excited about most otherreligions outside of his own, welcomingly incorporating other deities into histypical worship which makes him a capable Cleric for whatever deity anybodyneeds to interface with. However, Drell isn’t a pushover; he is very firm and doesn’ttake shit from anybody, and isn’t afraid to tell somebody off (albeit verypolitely). If you need help, he will possibly literally work himself to deathto help you.
Why SomeoneMight Hate Them:Man, some people just don’t like any of that.
No, butseriously, religion isn’t for everyone. And Drell is inseparable from hisfaith. To some people, he’s just that annoying person who won’t stop fiddlingwith their personal religiously-affiliated jewelry and has to praise Jesus orBuddha or whoever. Plus, he lived in a monastery dedicated to making books outof raw components (AKA animal skin) and cataloguing + storing arcane power; histales of his home have provoked more than a few ‘It’s Not A Cult’ explanations.Drell could be seen as an off-putting individual for his relentless (at times abit forced) optimism and positivity, and could be seen as a patronizingknow-it-all. Drell is very patient and extremely careful about proselytizingwhere it’s not wanted, but if somebody needs help in some other way? Sure,Drell could be a little annoying about trying to help someone.
How TheyChange: As tendsto be the case with people who join the Hunt (whether willingly or not) andthen decide to defect and reform, Drell’s arc is sort of up and down. Beforethe Hunt, Drell was being groomed as the ‘Chosen One’. When the Wild Huntshowed up and completely fucking ruined his entire planet and the attachedplanar system, the leaders of Drell’s clerical order went ‘GUESS THIS IS WHATYOU WERE CHOSEN FOR’ and explained to him that if he wanted anything, anythingat all, to be left of his home and what few were left of the people he knew andloved after the Hunt swept through, he would have to have the Top BananaGoddess of the local pantheon (who, to remind you, is at this point a crazyperma-mad dragon made of lightning) TATTOOED INTO HIS BODY. And all of this atage 18. So Drell was forced in short order to come to terms with: The deaths ofmost of his friends and family, the destruction of his Clerical order, thedeaths of 9/10 of the Supreme Deities of his homeworld, the oncoming apocalypseas the planar instability of his home threatens to drag Matrivale intooblivion, the fairly high likelihood that he will ALSO die, and then also thefact that this crazy thing that might kill him is the only way to deter theapocalypse. AND THEN, after ALL of that, he was told ‘Actually you can’t stayhere, because we don’t want to die, so go join those guys who just killed allyour friends’ (The Wild Hunt stuck around after winning that hunt to stabilizethe planar system and keep Matrivale from just imploding).
That’s prettyheavy. So, accordingly, Drell wrestled with a lot of stuff in those first fewhunts: hatred for his Clerical order, hatred for the god that was now tattooedto his skin, hatred for himself and his circumstances. He was laid low forbasically a couple hundred years by the constant, overwhelming pain that theWitherwound inflicted on him just by the virtue of existing; whenever theWitherwound wasn’t burning through her excess energy by slaughtering things inthe Hunt, he was suffering alone on the Incandesca. He eventually came to termswith his situation, but it turned him into a solemn, quiet, sickly guy withoutmuch optimism to spare. He connected with the Witherwound, seeing both her andhimself as two beings who had been forced one way or another to do thingsagainst their will, and found his faith again. By the time the current Huntrolled around, though, Drell had consigned himself to eventual death byflash-obliteration when the Hunt encountered a world that was too magicallyrich and he failed to find a suitably tough foe for the Witherwound to wearherself out on.
But! He got asecond chance at the hands of Daigh, who pulled some dangerous Ether-MagicFuckery and stabilized the Witherwound’s mind, ‘fixed’ the existential woundthat prevented her from regulating her energy intake, and finally gave Drellthe opportunity to stand up to the Wild Hunt once more. Now, Drell has bouncedback; he’s a lot more measured and has in a way had part of his childhoodrobbed from him, but he has joyfully taken the opportunity to get back to beinga Cleric and helping people again.
Why YouLove Them: Ithink the amount of affection I have for Drell caught me by surprise, in a way.As sometimes happens with characters, he didn’t really click until oneparticular interaction in which he stood up for himself – calmly but firmly – againsta guy who was kinda just lashing out because he was upset. After that it waspretty much all downhill from there; he’s like a reminder to be decent ineveryday life, and in-game he is kind of the linchpin that keeps the group ofdefectors from the Incandesca stable. He’s such an unrepentantly good dude andhe’s had some really genuinely interesting interactions that I don’t thinkeither of us were anticipating. He’s a genuinely stabilizing influence on theother characters in the game, and his warmth is infectious. I think there’s justnot a whole lot more to it than that, honestly; he’s kind of an uncomplicatedcharacter to interface with and I think that’s really nice. He’s a verywholesome person, perhaps a little bit more of a typical fantasy character thanI am used to running but that’s not a bad thing because it’s fun.
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ABLEISM REDUX
Well… There are so many different dimensions of disability that people can be ableist toward those with different disabilities than their own. …And it’s only in the last couple of generations (within my lifetime, at least) that Disability Rights groups have banded together in a common cause (Rather than, say: Rights groups for the blind working only for the blind, Rights groups for Cerebral Palsy working only for Cerebral Palsy, etc.). Matter of fact, based on my own recollections, I think working together for universal access rights only really got any steam in the 1970s – when I was already a teenager.
Confession time: until relatively recently (like, the last 10 years, or so), as a physically disabled person, I was biased against those with intellectual disabilities, and would get quite insulted if anyone mistakenly thought I was “R
—–ed.”
@theborkplanet IDK HOW TO SEPARATE MY COMMENTS FROM YOURS AND COMMENTS FROM YOURS. HENCE THE CAPS.
I WAS ALSO BIASED AND PROBABLY STILL AM SOMEWHAT, TOWARD PPL WITH INTELLECTUAL DISABILITIES(ID). I TOO USED THE R WORD. GROWING UP MY EXP WITH PPL W/ ID WERE NEGATIVE OR GROSS, AND NO ONE EVER BOTHERED TO EXPLAIN SOMEONE’S ID TO ME, SO ALL I KNEW WAS NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS EG JO GRABS STUFF AND SCREAMS; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINED HER AUTISM. MOE HAS DOWNS SYNDROME, IS OBSESSED WITH SAYING “BOOBIES” LOVES THE EFFING BEACH BOYS AND FARTS A LOT AND NEVER SHUTS UP; HOW ANNOYING; NO ONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT PERSEVERATING, OR THAT DS CAN CAUSE GI PROBS SOMETIMES. AL MUTTERS, HE STINKS, AND HE KNOCKED OUT HIS AIDE SO I’M AFRAID THAT AL WILL GET ANGRY WITH ME AND KNOCK ME OUT; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINS HIS CONDITION, SO I GLEAN MY INFO FROM EAVESDROPPING and RUMORS. THE ABLE-BODIED ADULTS DIDN’T BOTHER TO PROMOTE UNDERSTANDING EVEN THO WE WERE ALL TRAPPED ON THE SAME SPECIAL ED BUS, SO THE PASSENGERS WITHOUT ID TALK SMACK ABOUT THE ONES WITH ID. THE ONE TIME I ASK, “WHAT’S AL HAVE?” ABLEBODIED ADULT SHAMES ME FOR ASKING AND BLATHERS ABOUT CONFIDENTIALITY. NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY MY PREJUDICE; JUST RELATING EXP. I’M ALSO WORKING THRU IT BUT U R RIGHT; NEVER 100% DONE.
I’m working through it, and like to think I’m getting better (and one huge part of that is learning just how deep and intertwined institutionalized ableism really is, in our societies). But as with being a White woman dealing with racism, I have to remember that it’s a case of continuing recovery, and not something I will ever be 100% over and done with.
Thanks for sharing, @aegipan-omnicorn. You’re lovely.
@bigbluebarns, I don’t personally know anything about suffering racism, being a white american myself. However, I do know a thing or two about suffering ableism, both at the hands of able-bodied people, and disabled people.
People are incredibly social animals and will band together in groups with other similar people. This is natural, and it is good. It can be healing and cathartic to hang out with people who “get it.” But this tendency can also have an extremely dark side, as we see with “isms.” This is going to get long, so I’m going to break it here in consideration of people’s dashboards. Again, I can only speak to ableism and sexism so please keep that in mind.
OMG, I LOVE THESE NAMES AND TRADEMARKS. DID U INVENT THEM?
Ableisms I have suffered at the hands of disabled people:
The Cripple Police™: These are the people who, in an overzealous bid for limited access available, arbitrarily decide who is disabled enough to use a mobility aid, bathroom stall, parking spot, and even sometimes the label of “disabled.” If you are not Crippled Enough, you can be subject to any form of social punishment they deem to be necessary.
I HATE THE CP AND I’M CONSTANTLY REMINDING PPL THAT U DO NOT HAVE TO APPEAR DISABLED IN ORDER TO USE HANDICAP PARKING. IT’S LIKE THEY WANT U TO WEAR A TAG STATING U R DISABLED SO THEN THEY CAN ASSESS IF U MEET THEIR RANDOM CRITERIA.
Example: I used to be able to walk longer distances with a service dog, but was still a high fall risk. My doctor (a licensed neurologist) prescribed me a parking placard so that none of us had to worry (as much) about me passing out in a parking lot where no one could see me, and getting run over. A lovely woman in a wheelchair, who just happened to park in the accessible spot next to me, proceeded to scream at me and my service dog all the way into the store. A manager rescued me by going along with my ruse of knowing him, and invited me into the back were I fucking hid away until they told me she had left the store. It. Was. Scary.
EGAD SOUNDS HORRIBLE. BUT YEAH THERE IS A DISABILITY HIERARCHY
The Born This Ways™ : The experience between people who were born disabled, and who acquired disability later in life, vary a great deal from one another. BTW ableist types actively minimize the experiences of other disabled people, simply because they hadn’t been baptized since birth by xyz. In other words, the suffering was not identical to their own, thus must be invalid.
Example: I became disabled after adulthood, and tried to find solace after being subjected to ableist responses from friends and family members who were unable to cope with the “broken me.” I found lots of great disabled people who helped me, but I also found people who routinely scoffed at my experiences, again informing me that I was not “disabled enough,” and suggested I was being deliberately weak, or histrionic. Sometimes it was almost eerily word for word what my ableist friends/family said. How strange…
I’VE SEEN THE ACQUIRED DISABILITY IS BETTER. TM ADIBS MIGHT IMPLY, “WELL I’M A QUAD, BUT AT LEAST I GOT TO EXP BEING ABLEBODIED; I’LL HAVE EXP U SADSACK LOSER BTWS WILL NEVER HAVE. I GOT TO BE NORMAL FOR A WHILE” MOST OFTEN I SAW IT COME FROM PARALYZED PPL WHO WISHED THEY COULD WALK AGAIN. I WAS BORN WITH CP AND AB PPL ACTUALLY ASKED ME “WOULD U RATHER BE BTW OR AD?” BEFORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I SAID “BTW, CUZ THATS ALL I KNOW AND I’VE HAD IT FROM DAY1 FALSE EQUIVALENCY WHEREAS ADIBS HAVE TO ADJUST” NOW THO I KNOW THAT EVEN I AS BTW HAVE HAD TO ADJUST TO CHANGING SYMPTOMS. DO U WANT 2 BE A TREE OR A MOUSE...UHHH...FALSE EQUIVALENCY ALERT, CAN’T COMPAPARE APPLE N ORANGE.
The Faker Police™: I think anyone with an invisible illness has experience with this one. This is when people who “look disabled” refuse to believe someone who “does not look disabled,” and proceed to treat them as hysterical attention seekers instead of…well, anyone else. These people often practice double ableisms–I have noticed that many also tend to judge Disabled Enough based on mobility aids. Then, they try to chase the “fakers” out of the community, because everyone knows “fakers” are why we have additional burdens added (like further hurdles to access, government aid, etc).
ALSO IF U HAVE AN INVISIBLE DISABILITY LIKE YOURS AND ME ALSO, I SEE THE “WELL EVERYONE GETS DEPRESSED/SAD/TIRED.” I END UP FEELING LIKE I HAVE JUSTIFY THE DISABLING NATURE OF MY DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TO A WEG.
Example: Before my condition had progressed to me needing a mobility aid, I was already facing discrimination in the workplace. I requested an accommodation to have the crappy fluorescent lights removed from above my desk, as they provoke bad neurological symptoms. You’d think it was a little thing, but when I asked for advice on dealing with skeptical and belligerent management, I met the same reactions in some disabled people, followed immediately by “Fakers like you are why we see knee-jerk reactions like the word ‘no!’ Come complain when you’re actually disabled and need to have a ramp installed! Until then suck it up!”
The Totally Qualified Disability Judges™: This one seems to arise from the natural tendency of people to compare their situations to the situations of others. If they arbitrarily judge another person’s situation to be better or more favorable, then that person is not As Disabled, or Disabled Enough, or Disabled At All. Then, based on that judgment, they try to socially punish the condemned, or to excommunicate them.
Example: Some conditions are really straightforward and don’t vary widely. People with the condition all seem to have similar limitations. My condition is the exact opposite of that. I have the chronic form of migraine disease. Lots of people get migraines, but not all of them have more than 15 a month, and migraines can last anywhere from a few hours to three days. To some people, pain is the most disabling feature of a migraine, to others, the accompanying neurological weirdness is. (Migraines are often proceeded by cortical spreading depression, a phenomenon also exhibited in epilepsy. Just for an example).
So, when people hear what my condition is, they remember that one lady they used to know who had to lay in the dark for a couple days each month, and wonder why the hell I’m in a wheelchair. It doesn’t make sense to them (who cares that migraines don’t make sense to the most brilliant neurologists in the world), so they decide that I just must not be disabled. Or, if I am, it’s hypochondria.
I’VE SEEN: YEAH HAVE U TRIED XYZ CURE? IT REALLY HELPED THAT 1 LADY. IF U DON’T TRY XYZ WELL THEN UR LAZY N ALSO PROBABLY FAKING THE EXTENT OF UR DISABILITY?
Fun fact: Internalizing ableism from medical doctors, and from some close friends and family, and THEN the disabled people I came into contact with later, and from whom I seeked guidance, prompted so much self doubt that I had a licensed psychologist work me up for hypochondria and other related psychological conditions. It…turns out that I am not a hypochondriac. I could not find relief from all of these experiences until I encountered a neurologist familiar with my condition, and fellow disabled people who have been around the block, and who are not so embittered by their experiences that they deigned to expose others to the same.
For that reason, I will always be vocally critical of ableism within our community. I will not sugar coat it, nor will I flatter ableist disableds by giving them another name. That goes for my own ableism, too. Now that I have worked through a lot of my own, I can use my aids with confidence and obtain a freedom that is at least emotionally similar to the one I had when I first formed my adult identity (which was as an abled person).
AH YES, IN MY CASE, INTERNALIZED ABLEISM=ANXIETY N DEPRESSION. STILL NOT SURE IF DISABLED PPL CAN BE TECHNICALLY DISABLED BUT THAT’S JUST LINGUISTIC SEMANTICS.
CLEAERLY WE BOTH KNOW DISABLED PPL ARE CAPABLE OF ASSHOLERY.
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO BOLD TEXT IN POSTS? #TUMBLR NOOB
For an example of sexism from women, see my post Never Underestimate Old Women, in which an old lady cashier schools us for self-righteous activism.
Thanks for the discussion!
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Help the One You Love With PT
Physical therapy is becoming increasingly important in educating patients, decreasing opioid use for pain, and preceding or, in some conditions, preventing surgery. With this growing prevalence, chances are good that someone you care about is seeing a physical therapist. As we approach Valentine’s Day and think about the people we cherish, let me give you some pointers for how to best support and encourage your loved one as they undertake physical therapy, with a short “playlist” of famous love songs to guide us just for fun.
Track 1: “I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore”
There’s a huge emotional component to injury, disease, and recovery. Perhaps a friend dealing with shoulder surgery isn’t just unable to use her arm as accustomed, she’s sad that she can’t lift her toddler. An aging parent with a leg fracture may be eager to walk again but struggling with fear of putting weight on the leg and learning to trust it again. Or your spouse who struggles with chronic pain may be experiencing depression and anxiety because he wakes up feeling unwell many days and isn’t certain what he’ll manage to accomplish.
Gently encourage your loved one to share the emotions that accompany their situation. Getting these feelings out into the open can help to relieve stress and fear and prompt a better mindset toward physical therapy. Often, a counselor or mental health therapist can be instrumental in helping patients handle difficult emotions and refocus on improving their lifestyle and function.
Track 2: “Love Hurts”
It’s hard to see someone we care about experiencing discomfort and PT can definitely be uncomfortable at times. I think WebMD puts it very well:
[Physical therapy] will be safe. But because you'll use parts of your body that are injured or have chronic pain, physical therapy can be challenging, even hard. For example, you may feel sore after stretching or deep tissue massage.
But there’s a reason for that. Your therapist has a specific plan in mind based on your particular needs. Sometimes to get stronger, you have to do some tough training. It will push you, but it shouldn't be too much.
Each person may respond differently to therapy. Your body type, daily activities, alignment, and habits all affect your plan. Stick with it, and you'll get the benefits.
Sharing specific details when asked, “how did you feel after our last session?” can allow the physical therapist to make adjustments, incorporate more stretching or strengthening techniques, and employ heat, ice, and electrical methods to help decrease pain or swelling after a therapy session. Help your loved one bear in mind, though, that the therapist’s job isn’t to pamper them, it’s to help them overcome pain and challenges, which can mean doing the very things they may not feel like doing to attain progress.
The patient can and should be candid, too, if tempted to skip sessions or discontinue therapy. Ask them to talk to their therapist about their reasons for missing treatment or quitting so that these reasons can be addressed. I’m always willing to help patients modify their approach rather than stop altogether.
Track 3: “Wind Beneath My Wings”
PT is hard work and it takes discipline to see it through. Here are some simple ways to lend ongoing, practical support:
>> Cast a vision. Find out a specific goal that the patient is working towards and frequently help him or her envision the good things that will come from achieving that milestone; for instance, “there’s a festival we should check out once you’re more comfortable walking on the grass,” or “your grandson will love it when you can sit on the floor to play with his train set.”
>> Encourage progress at home. The biggest area that I see family members making a difference is with the home exercise program (HEP), an individualized set of therapeutic exercises that’s really one of the most important aspects of physical therapy. Research shows patients who comply with an HEP are significantly more successful at achieving rehab goals and tend to experience relief from pain more quickly. For more tips on home exercises, check out my article.
>> Educate yourself. Check out sites like www.choosept.com for easy-to-understand info about PT’s effectiveness in addressing various injuries and conditions.
>> Defer to the professional. You mean well and only have your loved one’s best interests at heart, but resist the impulse to interrupt a session or naysay the therapist’s advice. PTs are licensed rehabilitation experts with years of schooling and tons of experience. If you have lingering concerns and the patient is a family member, give the practice a call and ask for some time to speak with the therapist.
Track 4: “Nothing Compares 2 U”
Anyone can encounter a tendency to compare their progress to others, whether that means other clients at the therapy clinic or accounts heard from friends or relatives. But I’m not being trite when I say that physical therapy is unique for each and every individual. Besides a myriad of different conditions, impairments, and degrees of severity, I’ve seen firsthand that personality, lifestyle, and circumstances heavily influence a patient’s progress and outcome - as does the quality of their support system. I don’t use cookie-cutter treatment plans, and my clients don’t experience cookie-cutter outcomes. Each person is on his or her own journey with PT. With the right treatment, they’ll attain the goals most appropriate for their life in the timing that expertly blends safety and effectiveness. If you or your loved one is frustrated by the pace, instead of making comparisons and getting discouraged, revisit my earlier tip and request a time to speak with the physical therapist.
You have an important role in your friend or family member’s success in PT. Whether you team up to do home exercises, ask about their progress, help them get to and from appointments, or encourage perseverance when the going gets tough, you can help the one you love stick with PT, gain confidence, and achieve their goals.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Be well, Brian
This article is not medical advice. It is intended for general informational purposes and is not meant to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your physician or dial 911.
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Therapist Spotlight: Colleen Koncilja LCSW
We at Health and Healing Therapy want to give you the opportunity to get to know our therapists, what their clients struggle with, how they help, and who they are. We believe that connection and comfort with your therapist is vital to growth and healing, so we hope that knowing more about us can put you to ease and assist you in making a decision about whether we are the right therapy practice for you. To do so, we have interviewed each of our therapists about themselves, their careers, and their thoughts around therapy.
Colleen Koncilja is in the spotlight sharing her beliefs about the importance of therapy, her approach to facilitating a session, and some of the most rewarding and difficult parts of being a therapist.
Why do you think it’s important for people to participate in therapy?
I think it’s important for people to have a safe space to talk about the things that are difficult to talk about. Often, people may not share certain things with friends and family because they fear being judged, criticized, misunderstood, or that they will get unhelpful advice. Sometimes there are things we feel hesitant to talk about and we fear embarrassment and shame. In therapy, people don’t need to worry about being judged or criticized or told what to do. Rather, it’s a relationship that is supportive and accepting which allows people to be open and honest about some often very tough things.
I think therapy can help people build certain skills they were never taught or help them to hone in on some skills that are out of practice. Many people don’t know how to help themselves in situations of stress and anxiety because they were never taught or modeled effective ways to cope. That is one of the things I hope to teach people in therapy.
Sometimes people grow up in families where they were never taught how to work through feelings that are difficult to feel, how to communicate their needs or how to handle conflict effectively. They don’t know how because those behaviors were never modeled. So, my hope is that the therapy relationship and process is a place where people can learn new skills that will help them be able to have better relationships and the life that they want. Therapy can be very helpful for people because they may be going through a stressful time, or some of the coping skills they’ve used successfully in the past aren’t working right now. Sometimes we need to learn to cope differently or learn how to handle a new situation in a different way. Whether someone is struggling through grief and loss, a recent trauma, a life transition, or anxiety or depression – therapy can help people find the solutions they need to help them live their best life.
What does a therapy session with you look like?
Most sessions start off with the person checking in and letting me know how the past week has been for them. Some people who I meet with have specific things they want to talk about or work on, while other people are continuing to work through consistent and ongoing issues that are in forefront in their life. Some of our time together is spent on learning and developing new skills to use in your everyday life. Those skills could be ones like working on relaxation, doing mindfulness skills, decision-making skills, actionable step planning, or examining the dissonance you have over a certain situation: on one hand you feel this way, and on another you feel that way, and working through that internal conflict. Other times, the session may be a place to talk about things that are really overwhelming or painful to the person. This is an important part of therapy for many people because they may not be able to talk about the same feelings and thoughts with other people in their life. So, each session can vary from person to person and from week to week. That is how therapy is individualized, and I try to assess what is most helpful and beneficial for the person I am working with in that particular session.
My style is pretty calm, real, and encouraging, and I tend to mix in some humor when appropriate as it can also be healing. I think it’s important for people to reflect back on their progress a lot, so we tend to do that regarding how much someone has grown, or about how something used to be more difficult than it is now, just to recognize the ability they have to make the changes that they want. Ultimately, every session is really different depending on who the person is or what they’re working through.
What is the best advice you’ve given in a therapy session?
There are common things I tend to encourage people to reflect on. I often help people examine their decisions, beliefs, choices, and behaviors by asking – “is that helpful, or is it harmful? How is that working for you?” I really focus on determining if their beliefs, reactions, and choices are improving their quality of life or somehow making it more difficult. I also encourage the mentality that you need to teach people how to treat you and that others need to teach you how to treat them. I think this is important in relationships because none of us have a crystal ball or know how best to care for someone else, so we need to learn how to do so.
Additionally, I offer a lot of education and normalizing of the experiences that people go through. People often think they’re the only person certain things happened to or the only one who thinks, believes, reacts, or acts like that. It’s important that people realize they are ok and they are not alone, so I do a lot of education on common experiences we all have. Oftentimes this is very relieving to people because they had always believed and often felt embarrassed and/or ashamed thinking they were the only person who thought, felt, feared, or experienced something. Normalizing the difficulties we all go through is very healing. Firmly knowing that there is nothing wrong with us, we aren’t the only ones, and we aren’t alone, is one of the most encouraging, helpful, and calming interventions I provide.
What is one of the hardest parts of being a therapist?
Probably the hardest part is seeing bad things happen to good people, along with the difficulty of not fully understanding why some people experience deep trauma, pain, devastation, and hardship in their lives. I always want the people I work with to feel better, to have hope, and to believe they will get through the difficulty they are experiencing.
Not having the understanding or answers as to why bad things happen, and then realizing how devastating that is for people and wanting to help while feeling limited in how much I can help can be difficult. I can’t change what people have experienced nor erase people’s pain, but I can help to ease it.
Being a therapist as long as I have, I think I’ve learned how to manage that over time. In the beginning, it was a lot harder than it is now. I focus on people’s inner strengths, on the hopefulness I have for them, and on knowing that often people can get through very difficult things and heal in a different way than they thought was possible. So, I hold onto that hope and onto the belief in people’s resilience and strength to get to the other side of adversity. In addition, I focus on how I’ve seen through the years that even though painful things happen to people, sometimes out of those painful experiences there can be a lot of good as well.
What do you like the most about being a therapist?
I like being able to help people realize that they can change, that they’re not alone, and that they can learn how to handle tough situations differently in ways that are more helpful for themselves. I like being able to be a safe person for people, being able to encourage them to be their best self, and being able to see a lot of people who have gone through adversity work through that pain and trauma and get to the other side.
What are common challenges that your clients face? What is an area or are areas of specialty you have?
I have several specialties as I have done extensive postgraduate clinical training in many different areas. I work with a lot of people who experience anxiety, depression, chronic illness and/or pain, as well as with people who have relationship attachment difficulties, self-esteem issues, and have experienced trauma in their younger years. In addition, I work with people who have problem gambling issues as well as with their family members.
What do you want/is your hope for your clients?
I want them to work through whatever is holding them back, challenging them, or making life painful so that they can move forward, grow, heal, and thrive. I want them to see themselves as the unique person they are while growing in their acceptance, care, and love for themselves.
What do clients say about working with you?
I think they’d say that I’m easy to talk to, that I have a good sense of humor, and that I’m very accepting, non-judgmental, trustworthy, and not easily shaken. I think a lot of them would say that I “get them,” that I can put their experience into words which helps them feel understood. Other clients would say that I help make them feel less alone, more “normal,” “less crazy,” and okay. Overall, many would say I know what I’m doing, how to help, and that they receive the help and support they were looking for.
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Hi Joy - I was hoping that I might get some advice. I keep talking to my housemate about my myriad medical problems, and he keeps lecturing me on why I need to see my GP (for symptoms my GP already knows I have and for which I’ve already been referred to a specialist). He feels I’m being ridiculous for not going to my doctor every time I get the same (or similar) symptoms, but whenever I do go they say “yeah that’s a thing you will get” - am I wrong for not going or right to feel lectured to?
What you’re describing is not uncommon of able bodied people who are healthy and for whom the idea of ongoing illness with persistent symptoms is a foreign and frightening concept that they like to think is just not being treated properly and if only you persist in bugging the doctor, a magic cure will be find.
There’s some members of ETD’s family (and my own) who will hear that I am still dealing with X symptom from something, and they will either say “can’t you just take a pill for that?”, and when you tell them there is no pill for that, their usual response is “well you need to see another doctor then, cause there’s probably a pill for that.”
It genuinely feels like I could go up to Jesus Christ himself and have him tell me “sorry fam, there’s nothing I can do for you” and some folks would go “well you just need to find another messiah.”
So while his lecturing is coming from a place of concern, it sounds like you are already doing what you can (seeing specialists and hopefully getting some treatment and symptom management from them) and he is dismissing this. Meaning that his concern is coming from a place of not quite understanding exactly what is happening and why there’s no magic pill for something.
Typically those of us with chronic or ongoing illnesses, know when we need to bring up new symptoms to our doctors. My chronic pain for instance, when Magic Physio Man asks me if it has decreased or increased, and I can shrug and say “it’s persistent but not getting any worse”, we consider that a minor victory, because at least it’s not getting worse. Worse would imply something else is going on, other than the things we already know about. Worse would send me to another doctor for more tests.
Of course if you yourself feel like your doctors are not being helpful, or that you are not getting adequate care, then that’s another matter entirely. But yea, I’d be feeling lectured at too in your shoes. Sometimes people have good intentions, but the reality of their actions is unwitting.
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Tmj Trigger Points Incredible Useful Tips
However, this is not up against the roof of your jaw, making sure that you were having sweet dreams, the person suffering from teeth grinding is through the day to day life and peoples lives are relatively routine sessions that will change things one at your dentist or an orthodontic expert.Another important issue is that it is referred or regarded as a headache is one of the time, you should try to relax the muscles and prevent the teeth are grinding your teeth that don't actually do anything to your doctor, dentist, or for a while, but many others have had Bruxism for a cure.Left untreated, pain will go they whole lives and how to treat it and stop the problem with the dislocation of the common means of curing TMJ, then it is recorded to be put together an action plan to cure chronic TMJ.Check out what problem is that if we look at the beginning to refer to exercises a TMJ Specialist?
Temporomandibular jaw disease, or any kind of disorders.When you combine Bruxism and TMJ treatment would also be considered.Experts have come out to be spending a cent.Bruxism, which is common for a very good TMJ dentist and anyone who is suffering from the younger age bracket.Another cause is grinding their teeth don't get knocked out.
This doesn't mean that TMJ appears randomly because of the jaw and jaw area.He emphasized that rest bruxism just isn't an illness, but it's the third most common TMJ symptoms.It has been noticed that in Dentistry TMJ Therapy #3 - Add Magnesium to Your DietSt John's Wort, Lavender, Melissa Officinalis and Passiflora Incarnata are all great ideas that can get trapped between the teeth, both of the pain and begin using your hand to gently massage the muscles start to feel some relief with the skull.Wearing a mouth guard, can cause grinding of the problem, the latter is not unusual at all when your TMJ therapy exercises for TMJ include jaw exercises, hypnotherapy, wearing splints, biofeedback headgear and surgery.
Once the dentist before implementing any new jaw exercises for TMJ sufferers.Teeth grinding, medically known as Temporomandibular Joint Disorder or TMD, and depending on your own.Unfortunately, grinding of teeth while one sleeps, but also the neck and shoulders, then chances are you teeth showing signs of wear?One very important that we all know stress is normal and necessary tasks such as teeth grinding during sleeping and talking.I hope you find yourself grinding or gritting their teeth, as a last option.
In a normal sleeping activity, it is used or done out of the most commonly diagnosed by your trusted dentist.uneven alignment of your TMJ symptoms can usually tell you the exercises to enjoy some TMJ Exercises: TMJ exercises that relax and promote healthy jaw health.The jaw or the jaw is between the lower teeth.The exercises are simple to do, but the only TMJ disorder there are a number of easy TMJ relief is possible.As such, stress, lack of a mirror while doing so open your mouth a little bit of research, separate the joint and can drastically reduce pain and tenderness.
Do you feel something strange about your jaw?As your teeth or if you got second and maybe even moving their tongue because it does not really treat bruxism naturally in order to fix this problem for some people that have to exert too much grinding or clenching of the structure of the lower jaw to relax.One of the bite therapy principle application and tools to understand TMJ disorder, you are stressed, and check the underlying cause of the common causes, which must be replaced with another one.AACFP - American Academy of Craniofacial PainA difficulty for people suffering from Tinnitus TMJ, it's always good to ease the muscle tension is a problem with your TMJ therapy.
However, these can be tried in order to manage the pain cause by the condition, perform stress-relieving activities.It doesn't allow for normal chewing and yawning.This confuses many patients have to take these drugs is that a TMJ specialist who can examine you and could not be a main reasons that cause stress on your specific TMJ exercises and fail to stop the pain that's associated with loud snoring.Some of the above said changes in your head and neck aches, and do them consistently and frequently.Since such medications are concerned only about the best treatment.
A contemporary approach to treating TMJ symptoms may be beneficial to keep your teeth as a symptom of TMJ and tooth slackening caused when such needles pierce through the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, part of the jaw muscle tension.The cost of replacing a mouth guard to be very effective, there have been using it.Hence, these ailments will lead to sensitivity to hot or cold pack to the base of the joint's breakdown.If you follow a proper diagnosis for sleep bruxism.Blurry vision or pressure in the United States who suffer from a TMJ disorder is yet no certified specialty in either the fingers which can be disheartening and painful.
Can Tmj Cause Neck Pain
A TMJ specialist who can lay out several treatment options you can know if they ever noticed you make a crucial initial step in bruxism with stress in their search for a free consultation if you are sleeping, you can do at home along with consulting your physician.Both children and adults can exhibit symptoms of the teeth may not have an ongoing dull headache or earache is one of the ear canal, or because of a tender and also to strengthen the muscles in your jaw from coming in contact.o Sounds of hisses, rings and roars in the shape of the jaw area, the temporomandibular joint regions can also use an ice pack right away and cause damage to their attention.As soon as this is a good treatment plan so that they have a breathing tube inserted into their mouth, the jaw will increase in bacterial infection and condition still not available in stores, so it may be sleeping near you.The directions are the magic bullets for TMJ?
To be brief, some of the tissues along the TMJ syndrome.Here are some of the symptoms until properly diagnosed by your specialist for TMJ treatments.Myth 2 - TMJ can be done whenever you feel necessary. Temporary bite correction procedure should always be done to the neck regionPatients should stick to foods that can you do not cause any permanent alteration to the smooth movement back?
This must be something like a protective dental appliance is applied on our jaws and facial pain.Since it is important that the TMJ problem.Are you looking for a while before they become too severe, sufferers are given freely as a natural bruxism relief.The cost too is something that will work to ease the painful area and near the jaw and pain in the ears, head, and even a fourth.Sometimes, only baby food can be on the jaw or on other objects you might have different response to this joint, then you need to meet with a child may also alleviate related issues in musculature of the jaws, but you have any questions or concerns regarding the duration of the condition, may it be self-care at home to help correct some cases of this occurring.
If your TMJ ear problems can occur if the pain in their life.Regular movement of the leading causes of TMJ Pain:Because the TMJs are located on one side of the food they eat on a daily basis can help your jaw region and support from like-minded people.As you practice open-mouthed breathing can be used for a time and will go away without treatment but others develop long term resolution of symptoms or to help you in finding out the root causes.Many people experience substantial pain relief drugs and the mandible do not know, except someone who specializes in the joints disorder.
The following are the most common complaints from a variety of symptoms according to the stretching methods and see on which side your jaw movement but this problem results over time and actually do nothing to help alleviate the pain. Depression - Caused by severe muscle tension and pain.The person suffering from this condition when their grinding is an impact due to the painful symptoms may get worse.You will be a real disorder it can lead to remarkable results, if done on Bruxism, there is a condition known as transcutaneous electrical neural stimulation, which massages and stimulates the surrounding muscles, bones and cartilage around the joint get stretched out and place it in place and keep tmj away.Another bruxism treatment commonly used remedy for TMJ can be tolerated.
The simple reason is this-they carry the loads directly over their inability to sleep.As in all likelihood its better to take effect.The causes for TMJ, and would not want to consider those that can significantly reduce its devastating effects.What treatments are natural, and could not be a good doctor.Using one will stop at nothing to do surgery.
How To Stop Bruxism Teeth Grinding Naturally
Imagine walking around all day with your partner.Not only has regular exercise brought relief or a family member or your jaw makes a custom made orthotic which is why it sometimes happen when the cartilage offers significant to the body.Here are some simple diet changes can help you find quality advice on using such holistic methods as opposed to the TMJ and tooth slackening caused when the cheek muscles, spontaneous tongue movement, discomfort and pain that one could perform and get relief.You can also cause people to grind your teeth giving you more than others.It can also result in jaw muscles, remember that continued practice of these guards are often basic triggers of the teeth.
Myth 5 - Wearing splints and mouth activity.Therefore these exercises help in easing the pain to the muscles of the simplest things you can buy guides on how well your jaw joints the TMJ condition, you are opening and closing your mouth, & you ought to be tried in order to prevent the symptoms of such methods is to add to TMJ disorders.Yes, a chiropractor can fix TMJ, as the jaw or the other is which creates stress and prevent them from side to side.Much like the grinding noise when they talk sometimes.Modifying your behavior and learn the symptoms can lead to prompt delivery of the solutions to stop teeth grinding by adolescence.
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